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spiralinghours · 1 month ago

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“Personal Assistant” Pt 3

Fandom: Saw franchise

Characters/Pairings: Mark Hoffman x reader (fem/afab)

Rating: R (definitely 18+ for this part, babes)

Tags/Warnings: Feeding kink, belly/dadbod appreciation (whatever you wanna call it—we love a thick Hoffman), switchy dynamics, mild daddy kink, the same ol’ inappropriate boss x secretary dynamics, nose riding/grinding, somewhat detailed cunnilingus, mild pet play (in that Hoffman gets referred to as a pig, dog, cat, etc)

Summary: Hoffman’s secretary brings him lunch. AND dessert 👀

Author’s Notes: These don’t really happen in any specific, chronological order. There IS a mention of Jigsaw here, but it’s unclear if the secretary knows Hoffman is an apprentice or not.

Probably errors. If so, will fix later lol

The lunch hour had gone on a little long… Not that it was your fault or anything. Not that it had interrupted much. You were just being a decent assistant, making sure your boss remembered to eat and took the time to de-stress in the middle of his day. The fact that you had you brought him a little extra dessert as a treat—in the form of a to-go box of tiramisu and a formidable slab of red velvet—was no inconvenience.

For extra insurance that Hoffman finished all his food (he needed the fuel for a

busy day, after all), and as part of your attentive duties, you were sure to perch on your usual spot on his lap in order to hand feed him as he clacked at his keyboard and skimmed through documents.

As he chewed and hiccuped through the last bits of his lunch, you smiled perkily, snaking your fingers under his waistband. You hefted his belly onto his lap, fingers tickling and lightly pressing into the sides.

“That’s enough for now, sweetheart. We have a press thing at two and I gotta be able to move around. I’m not gonna wanna get up with this treatment.” He groaned a little under his breath as he shifted in the chair, trying not to make the discomfort obvious. “Besides, I have to look presentable for the cameras.”

“Oooo, but sir, you look plenty presentable like this,” you practically purred, tone as sweet and low as a sugar packet.

In efforts to reassure him of such, you softly raked your fingers down over the front curve of his tummy, giving just enough soothing pressure. You also started picking at little things, tidying them up: buttoning a low-down shirt button that had come undone, straightening out his suspenders, smoothing out his dark blue tie (which he usually wore with a white shirt, as he did on this day, looking so handsome)… His combed-back hair had started to come loose from the day’s exertion (what little if at all Hoffman even had), falling in cute dark strands around his eyes. As you raised your hands to tuck the strands behind his ears, he sighed at the light touch, eyes fluttering closed for just a moment.

“That’s nice, babydoll,” he mumbled tiredly. “If only you could do that all day.”

“I will literally stay sat right here and play with your hair and whatever else all day, sir.”

“I know, and that’s the problem. I got too much to do.” He opened his eyes, looking blandly annoyed at the prospect of having to do anything else than sit under your spread thighs.

“You’re so popular,” you joked, grin dimpling up your cheeks.

“Yeah, that’s what it is. Nothing to do at all with this Jigsaw shit, or any of the other minor cases I gotta deal with.”

“Well, you are the boss,” you shrugged matter-of-factly, still combing his hair under your nails. “Lieutenant,” you added sweetly, emphasizing each syllable.

“Mmm, why’s that sound so good when you say it? But also, a little condescending.” He tilted his head, shooting you a sassy look.

You giggled. “You’re using some big words today, sir.”

“Gettin’ smart with me,” he tutted.

“If you don’t like it, I can just leave.” You began to stand up, unwrapping a leg from his lap. “I should go back to my desk and actually do my job. You know, check your calendar, make sure you don’t have any unwanted guests… All that stuff I don’t do that I get paid for.”

“You’re doing a plenty good job right here, darlin’.” Hoffman pulled you back down on his lap. His hands felt so big and thick embracing you like they did—bumbling and gentle, but strong enough to do damage if he tried.

“Ah yes, the exact job I applied for: babying you all day and telling you you’re doing such a good job.” You cupped a hand to his cheek, mocking the praise.

“As if you don’t love coming in here to play princess and fatten me up like a lazy house cat.” He rolled his eyes at you.

“I do. Does that make you a pet?”

“Yeah, for you, sweetheart. You know that.” He flashed his eyes at you under heavy lids, irritated that you would make him verbally confirm such a thing.

Heaving himself from the chair and moving you in the process (you noted the way his plush sides nearly stuck between the chair handles), he switched up positions: placing you in his seat, and he, himself, getting down on his knees in front of you.

“What’s this?” you laughed, more giddy than you wanted to let on.

“Said I’m the pet, right?” He leaned in and kissed your knee. “Dogs belong on the floor, don’t they?” That gave you a shiver. Every word came out like a sultry near-threat, daring you to challenge what his next move would be.

Another kiss to your knee. Then the other knee. Then your shin. Then the back of your calf. Then the tip of your shoe, and then the spiked heel… You watched the way his obscenely plump lips dragged against your nylons with each kiss. His eyes stayed glued to yours. You savored how good he looked casting that baby blue glare from beneath you.

“I think I’m hungry again,” he mumbled, parting your thighs and hooking his thick fingers into your underwear, sliding them away just enough to give him access.

“Whatta pig,” you giggled lowly.

“Don’t start with the pig shit, baby. We’ll be here all day and I only have half an hour.” His words tapered off at the end, becoming muffled as he buried his face between your legs, lapping his tongue into you like he was starving.

His tongue traced around your clit, delicately at first, then turning into more zealous pressing and sucking, giving you just the right amount of heat and friction. You could feel the way he salivated against you, too careless and needy to notice.

As his tongue slipped lower, prodding at your entrance, Hoffman’s prominent nose started pushing against your clit—an immediate yet super specific turn on. You pushed your pelvis forward to grind against his nose a little more intently, until he pulled away.

“Like that?” he smiled, a trace of deviousness across his slick lips. “Next time you can ride my face, how about that?”

“I’d love that, sir.”

“Right on this desk,” he hummed, bringing his mouth back to your pussy, practically suctioning on. He released for a quick breath. “Maybe on your desk. Let those rookies in the hallway watch.”

“You’re such a pervert,” you breathed out, started to get a little closer to the edge too soon. Your vision was going hazy in the best way.

With a few more painstakingly drawn-out laps from entrance to clit, applying an increasing amount of hot pressure, you felt that jolt right to your core. Instinctively, your pelvis bucked up against him, smothering his face. You couldn’t help squeezing your thighs tight, riding out every last bit of the delicious climax.

Dark hair mussed across his forehead cartoonishly, Hoffman finally pulled away to catch his breath. He licked off a bit of your slick from his lower lip with a small grin.

“Ooo, big boys like you know how to eat, huh?” you mused.

Hoffman sweetly pinched your chin between his fingers as he got to his feet. “Of course, babydoll. Mind helping me get ready for this press bullshit?”

“Only if you don’t make a mess of yourself again,” you winked.

#mark hoffman x reader fic #mark hoffman x reader

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dokidokitsuna · 1 year ago

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Dream Alliance: Jambastion Rebirth

So yesterday I was archiving the text from all my DeviantArt posts about the DreamAll AU, and it was really fun to read through all that lore and story again. ^^ It’s unfortunate that I was working on it during my transition from DA to here; I feel like a LOT of info got lost in the confusion. But at least now I have it all in my own files to reference (or retell) later…especially if I ever get around to reviving/expanding on the AU like I’ve always wanted. There are a lot of unused scripts and ideas waiting for that day…

And since I was feeling inspired today, here’s one of ‘em. ^^ Since this was such a dark idea that I don’t really consider “canon” to the AU, I never really wrote it down or anything…but it made for such a good story that I held onto it in my heart~. Warning: LOOOOOOONG post ahead. ^^

So at the end of DreamAll’s story, Magolor and Division Six risk their lives and defeat Void Termina, yadda yadda…but once the world is finally safe from that threat, its next big question is: how can we make sure we’re safe from the teenage mad scientist with the god-killing mecha and bioengineered alien attack dogs…?

Basically, Magolor inadvertently made himself so powerful that the rest of the Dream Alliance and the world is kinda scared of him now. ^^; And as I showed in the final comic, Susie Haltmann takes it upon herself to investigate him and find out what his deal is…and in doing so, learns that he’s actually a Jambastion mage, and Hyness’ estranged son. And thus, the scheming begins~.

Mind you, Susie doesn’t really have anything against Magolor. It’s just that the pressure of essentially becoming president of the world, coupled with the revelation that Magolor is not only an eccentric genius, but also a dimension-bending dark mage that she doesn’t know how to control…it leads her to fall back on old (villainous…) habits and start to treat him like an obstacle, to be overcome by any means necessary.

And her first play would be to use the threat of Hyness’ execution to get Magolor to spill his guts: to tell the truth about his magic powers, explain in detail everything he did to create the Void Destroyer system, and get it all on the record so that he can’t lie about it anymore. Which I think Mago would agree to immediately-- he doesn’t want to see his father die (despite his literal crimes against humanity), and tbh he’d probably be kinda glad to have the weight of that deception off his shoulders. Unfortunately, he’s not worldly enough to understand that divulging all this information is the beginning of the end…

Next play: regulations. Now that the crisis is over, the Dream Alliance’s superweapons will naturally have to be decommissioned…including Magolor’s ‘angels’. Seeing as they’re technically not living things (as per Mago’s explanation) Susie would demand that he toe the line and put them down, or at least demonstrate that he’s willing and able to cut them off from his power on command.

And naturally, Magolor would think of this as going a bridge too far. Marx, Galacta, and Morpho might not have their own life force, but they’re still sentient beings who love and trust him as their creator. And if it’s a choice between betraying that trust and leaving the Dream Alliance entirely, he’s inclined to choose the latter.

And ^that is the decision Susie would be waiting for: proof that, when pushed, Magolor cannot be trusted to act in the ‘public interest’. And considering what he��s capable of, it’s now in the public interest for the Dream Alliance to find a way to contain him.

Of course, she doesn’t go after him right away-- she simply waits for him to come to her, thinking he can convince her that his angels are more than just weapons. When that fails, he resigns on the spot…unfortunately, he never actually gets the chance to leave.

Based on everything Magolor’s explained about the way his magic works…she decides her best bet is to cut off his hands, severing his connection to his vambraces and sending him into shock from blood loss all at once. Both serve to severely weaken all of his subconscious magic use, and his angels by extension-- Galacta collapses, and Morpho straight-up disintegrates. Marx is the only one able to remain conscious without his master’s direct influence, and immediately realizes that something is seriously wrong. His first instinct is to rush to find Magolor and slaughter anyone in his way…unfortunately, he discovers that he doesn’t have his flight powers anymore. Without his usual magic strength, he can hardly even move his prosthetic arms, and is easily captured when Magolor’s lab is raided.

Fortunately, Meta Knight is one of the arresting officers, and decides to take pity on Marx and “lose track of him”, letting him leave in the dead of night for parts unknown. He disappears for a couple years, skulking in the shadows, stealing food when no one’s looking, being miserable and missing all his friends.

But during all that time, he’s also preparing…he spends most of his days retraining his body to adjust to the much smaller amount of magic that he has access to, and trying to find information on the dissolution of Division Six and Magolor’s whereabouts…which proves to be pretty difficult. So eventually, when he finally gets a decent amount of fighting strength back, he decides to start his revenge plot by finding an ally: Magolor’s father, who’s still imprisoned where he’s always been.

Hyness has never met Marx before, but he remembers Magolor’s mentions of him. And besides, they both share a deep concern for Magolor and the willingness to do anything to save him. So Marx explains the situation and breaks him out, setting his plan in motion.

He realizes that Susie will have seen him through the security cameras, and will predict that he’s coming for Magolor. So he decides that his true next target will be Galacta Knight, and asks Hyness to use his powers to find and awaken him first.

After being forced to use his magic just to keep himself alive during his long imprisonment (which by this point, ended up approaching the decade mark) and having his hands removed as well, Hyness is also a lot weaker than he used to be. But he has experience on his side, and quickly adjusts by using the magic stored in his cape (basically, what I was foreshadowing back when I drew this). Together he and Marx make a fairly powerful team, forcing their way into the facility where GK is being stored, and setting him free to unleash his wrath.

^This is a decision Magolor would probably take issue with, if he were present to give his opinion on it-- he’d be against triggering GK into a psychotic break just to create a diversion, knowing all that death and destruction would weigh heavily on his conscience afterwards. But Marx, being in a desperate and angry place, doesn’t care, and figures potentially scarring his little brother is a small price to pay to get their family back together.

And while Galacta Knight is out acting as a weapon of mass destruction, Marx and Hyness manage to find and release Morpho Knight as well. Morpho has very nearly reverted back to the unresponsive energy blob that he was when Magolor first found him…but he’s at least conscious enough to follow his brothers around and help protect them occasionally. Marx leaves him with GK and follows Hyness to Magolor’s location, deep within Dream Alliance HQ.

How things go from there is a little more nebulous…I think it would probably start out as a stealth mission, which would take an unfortunately bloody turn before Magolor is finally found and revived. I think Morpho and Galacta would eventually catch up with them there and make things even bloodier. ^^; I think Susie would get into a big ‘tech vs. magic’ fight with Division Six that’s honestly been a long time coming. And I think Magolor, despite having just been awakened from a years-long medically-induced coma, would be forced to take point as the most powerful mage left in the group, and do something drastic just to put an end to the conflict and get everyone out of there.

The aftermath would be bittersweet, and a bit ironic-- essentially, Magolor would be forced to go back to living in a secret society cut off from the rest of the world. He’d be reunited with everyone he cares about, including the father he once thought he might never see again, but he’d still have to live with the fact that the world he risked his life to save ultimately rejected him…and after all the atrocities his family committed just to get him back, the world is probably now convinced that its fears were justified. The damage is done, and irreversible…after all the effort he put in to become a hero, his short-lived dream is already dead and gone. I honestly don’t know what he would want to do with his life after that…

…Anyway, if you made it all the way here, thanks for reading~

#Oddly enough Magolor’s ‘angels’ start to look more like demons when they’ve been abused and neglected #symbolism at work~#kirby #gijinka #au #dream alliance #marx #hyness #magolor #galacta knight #morpho knight

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mask131 · 1 month ago

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Creepy and spooky cartoons of my youth (2)

Now we get into the real thing! The actual "creepy cartoons" that shaped who I am today! (As I said before by "creepy cartoons" I range both cartoons intending to be creepy for kids, or kid media that just happens to have a "creepy" motif to it)

Starting with Extreme Ghostbusters. I never watched the original Ghostbusters cartoons, just the movies and this epic series. After seeing it a few times as a kid but then losing all traces of it and wondering if it was not all just a fever dream, I found it back in its entire glory on the Internet (I even got to check into the Patreon of the guy who designed the monsters of the show!). This show introduced me to a... LOT of things let's say

You might recognize the artstyle/animation style as being somewhat similar in terms of creature designs to the one used in the cartoon series based on "Jumanji", which itself was quite a piece of creepy children media:

Much more European this time: "My Grandmother is a Witch"! I had this cartoon on VHS and it was one of my early faves. You probably never heard of it, because it is a French cartoon (Ma grand-mère est une sorcière), so a brief recap for you: a teenage witch lives with her granny witch in a cursed and haunted forest right next to a modern-day town. She has a best friend who is a geek tech-gadget-genius, bizarre goblinoid Gremlins-like pets, an "uncle" who is a vampire living in another dimension populated by monsters... And the cartoon is about her various adventures or misadventures being a witch trying to live next to regular humans in a modern world (with the twist being that the humans are often freakier or more insane than the witches themselves - though the witches do regularly indulge in monster-creations and spell-fights in the city causing regional panick and disasters)

More famous for an English-speaking audience, and even dearer to my heart: Martin Mystery. Does it need any presentation? Designed to be a "horror show for kids" inspired by the X-Files, monster hunters fiction and many horror pieces of all sorts. Part of an unofficial trilogy with "Totally Spies" and "Team Galaxy". One of the manifestations of Europe's 2000s obsession with making anime-styled cartoons. Contains some of the coolest monster designs ever.

Another European reference - I had a certain soft spot for the "Jibber Jabber" cartoon which despite the uncanny of the "early age" 3D animation, still had a premise I quite loved (and similar to Mona the Vampire) of children living their actual games like entire fictional worlds... Except "Jibber and Jabber" lacks the the weird insanity angle of Mona the Vampire. I mean unlike Mona who can be read as a psychotic kid harassing poor strangers for no reason, Jibber and Jabber are just two kids playing within the confines of their own house and solely bothering their sister and their dog. It is a bit more wholesome X)

Due to the narrative, the show explored various fictional worlds, but I include it here due to the two "horror" recurring universes - the one where the kids play a mad doctor and his "Igor", and the one where they are vaguely-Victorian monster hunters.

I can't go on without dropping Tutenstein. For a kid into mummies and Egyptian mythology, this was a welcome cartoon (I think it aired somewhere in the morning when I first caught its existence, summer mornings). I was quite shocked when I learned the same man designed the monsters for both this show and "Extreme Ghostbusters". But in retrospective I probably shouldn't be that surprised...

I am pretty certain I forgot one cartoon I really wanted to talk about... I could speak about some of the creepy Looney Tunes or Disney shorts, but I feel that would be an easy way out... And I could speak of some favorite French shows of mine whose insane, weird and psychedelic style led to some nightmare fuel for kids (like Ratz, or Space Goofs) but I already pulled a cheat card like this one in my previous post...

Oh well if I ever recall, I'll share it in a reblog. Already that's quite a selection for you to appreciate, if you ever want to search for kid-friendly, animated Halloween treets.

And you, what were some of your creepy cartoons as children? Either cartoons that spooked you out a lot, or that were just "macabre fun" a la Addams Family?

#creepy cartoons #childhood cartoons #martin mystery #jibber jabber #my grandmother is a witch #ma grand-mère est une sorcière #tutenstein #extreme ghostbusters #weird cartoons #children cartoons #creepy animation

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archiveikemen · 13 days ago

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"Mobius Chord" Main Story Prologue: Chapter 7

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belong to +ONE by Ikemen Series and KansaiTV. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games.

Read this before interacting

— And so, the day of the “Autumn Gathering” party finally came.

(All the tasks I was assigned are complete.)

I was glad I could relax and enjoy myself today, thanks to the thorough preparation work I had done up till yesterday.

I also managed to take a look at the school’s hidden gem, the party hall that was rarely ever accessible.

Despite it being in a corner of the literature faculty's block, I enjoyed looking at it because of my love for history.

(Maybe I’ll just show my face for a bit and then head home.)

My headaches and tinnitus had worsened over the past week, so I didn't feel like I could stay for long.!

(Honestly, I almost didn’t want to come, but I promised Hijiri-kun that I would.)

(Still, I really wish these symptoms would just disappear already…)

???: Oh, excuse me. Got a moment?

???: …

Koto: Y-yes?

I was surprised to hear someone approach me out of the blue.

I looked up to see two unfamiliar men glancing around the area.

???: We’re a little lost. Can you tell us where the big hall is?

Koto: Oh, uhh…

(It’s not hard to give them directions, but they don’t look like they’re supposed to be here…)

“Big hall” wasn't actually the official name for today’s venue.

But anyone associated with the college would know what it referred to and those two definitely didn't, which was why I was hesitant to give them an immediate answer.

???: I asked a few people already, but no one would tell me for some reason.

???: It felt kind of cold. But you look very soft and fluffy, so I thought you’d help me.

Koto: S-soft and fluffy?

???: It’s one of Yuhi’s unique expressions. He means you look like a kind person.

Yuhi¹: You’re a kind person too, Soma~ thanks for translating★

(Umm… w-what should I do with Yuhi-san and Soma-san?)

They don't seem like bad people, but they’re still outsiders…

Just as I was unsure of what to do—

Shina: Ahh, damn! I finally found you two! I said to wait for me at the front gate, didn't I?

Yuhi: Minato! Wow, my saviour! My throat feels dry, where’s the vending machine~?

Soma¹: This is how carefree Yuhi is. It’s easier to find him when there’s someone with him than when he’s alone.

¹ I'm using "Yuhi" and "Soma" in this part of the chapter because I decided to follow what MC calls the character i.e. whether they're on a first name or last name basis as the stories are written from MC's POV. So if MC refers to the character by their last name, like with Go Miyamoto for example, I'll use "Miyamoto: ...". Later on in the chapter, MC will refer to Yuhi and Soma by their last times, so I'll switch to using "Kakihara: ..." and "Kuga: ...".

Shina: Yeah, having someone as tall as Soma next to him would make him more easily findable… but that’s beside the point!

Shina: First of all, wait at the agreed meeting spot! Don’t wander off on your own! That’s because Yuhi’s like a kite with its string cut.

Koto: Uhhh, excuse me?

Shina-san, who was usually calm and collected, was showing a more human-like side to him…

Is this really the same guy? It had me wondering, but I still waved my hand at him anyway.

Shina: Koto-chan! Sorry, so you're the lady these guys were bothering, huh.

Yuhi: We weren't bothering her~ you completely misunderstood.

Soma: It seems that he thought it’d be fine because she’s soft and fluffy.

Shina: Did I not tell you guys to behave…!?

Koto: Uhh, Shina-san. Do you know them?

Shina: Oh, yeah. This cat-like one is Yuhi Kakihara, and this big dog is Soma Kuga. They’re my friends.

(That was a really candid introduction…!

Kuga: Minato called us his friends. Been a long time since I last heard that.

Kakihara: Yeah—! We’re more than just regular friends, we're best buds! So since you’re also Minato’s friend, you’re our buddy too!

Koto: Buddy?

Kakihara: Yeah! We’re—

Shina: Shut it!!

Shina-san panicked and slapped a hand over Yuhi-san’s mouth.

But I was sure of it by now.

Koto: Shina-san. … You’re in a band with Sui-kun and the other two, aren't you?

#mobius chord #ikemen series #cybird ikemen #cybird otome #mebiko translations #+one by ikemen series #otome #mebiko prologue

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gonna-need-you-to-not · 1 year ago

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Spn Episode Categories

Today in "Is it Autism or ADHD?", I put all the Supernatural episodes into categories by episode name.

ALLITERATION Dark Dynasty Monster Movie Plucky Pennywhistle’s Magical Menagerie Soul Survivor Tall Tales Twigs & Twine & Tasha Banes Various and Sundry Villains War of the Worlds

BELIEVE Clap Your Hands if You Believe Do You Believe in Miracles

BIBLICAL Exodus In the Beginning Inherit the Earth Lazarus Rising Lucifer Rising Moriah Proverbs 17:3

BLOOD Blood Brother Bloodlines Bloodlust Bloody Mary Dead Man’s Blood First Blood Fresh Blood Let It Bleed My Bloody Valentine There Will Be Blood

BOOKS Bedtime Stories Book of the Damned Fan Fiction Meta Fiction Reading is Fundamental Slash Fiction The Monster at the End of this Book

CHILDREN Adventures in Babysitting Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things Destiny’s Child I Believe the Children are Our Future Pacman Fever Playthings Slumber Party The Kids are Alright

COLOURS Black Crossroad Blues Paint it Black Red Meat Red Sky at Morning Yellow Fever

DEAD or ALIVE Advanced Thanatology Bring Em Back Alive Dead in the Water Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid Death Takes a Holiday Death’s Door Defending Your Life In My Time of Dying It’s a Terrible Life Live Free or Twihard Rock Never Dies

DEVIL Beat the Devil Devil in the Detail Devil May Care Devil’s Bargain Devil’s Trap Sympathy for the Devil The Devil You Know

EMOTIONS Everybody Hates Hitler Everybody Loves a Clown Love Hurts Optimism We Happy Few

FAMILY All in the Family Family Feud Family Matters Family Remains

FIRE/HEAT Caged Heat Halt and Catch Fire Out of the Darkness Into the Fire

FIRST/LAST/NEW/OLD First Born Last Call Last Holiday Meet the New Boss Out With the Old

GIRLS/BOYS/MEN/LADIES A Most Holy Man About a Boy Bad Boys Girl Next Door Girl With the Dungeons & Dragons Tattoo Girls Girls Girls Hook Man Inside Man Ladies Drink Free LARP and the Real Girl Man Who Knew Too Much Man Who Would Be King Mans Best Friend with Benefits Repo Man Slice Girls

GODS & MONSTERS Atomic Monsters Good God Yall Hammer of the Gods How to Win Friends and Influence Monster Remember the Titans

GOING SOMEWHERE? Appointment in Samarra Beyond the Mat Carry On Dark Side of the Moon Don't Go in the Woods Exile on Main Street Frontierland Heroes’ Journey Hollywood Babylon Into the Mystic Lebanon Long Distance Call Mystery Spot No Exit Our Little World Phantom Traveller Point of No Return Road Kill Road Trip Sin City Stranger in a Strange Land

GOOD/BAD Bad Day at Black Rock Bad Place Bad Seed Born Under a Bad Sign Damaged Goods Good Intentions Let the Good Times Roll

HEART Angel Heart Heart Heartache My Heart Will Go On

HEAVEN & HELL All Dogs Go to Heaven All Hell Breaks Loose (Part 1 and 2) Heaven Can’t Wait Hell’s Angel Holy Terror I’m No Angel King of the Damned Raising Hell Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell Stairway to Heaven

HELLO/GOODBYE Hello Cruel World Goodbye Stranger

HOUSE & HOME Hell House Home Houses of the Holy Safe House

IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD Don’t You Forget About Me Galaxy Brain Just My Imagination Memory Remains Peace of Mind Wishful Thinking

LATIN/OTHER LANGUAGE Hunteri Heroici Jus in Bello Malleus Maleficarum Reichenbach

MOVIE TITLES/REFERENCES Back to the Future Blade Runners Born Again Identity Hunter Games I Know What You Did Last Summer Real Ghostbusters Taxi Driver The Usual Suspects There’s No Place Like Home Tombstone You Can’t Handle the Truth

NAME A Little Slice of Kevin Alex Annie Alexis Ann Are You There God It’s Me Dean Winchester Ask Jeeves Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox Criss Angel is a Douchebag Curious Case of Dean Winchester Dog Dean Afternoon Don’t Call Me Shurley It’s the Great Pumpkin Sam Winchester Jack in the Box Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets Party On Garth Patience Sam Interrupted Shut Up Dr Phil Simon Says There’s Something about Mary Thin Lizzie We Need to Talk About Kevin Weekend at Bobby’s

NATIONALITIES American Nightmare British Invasion French Mistake

NIGHT Game Night Night Shifter Nightmare Nightmare Logic Nightshifter

NUMBERS 99 Problems Hibbing 911 Magnificent Seven Mannequin 3: the Reckoning Route 666 Season 7 Time For a Wedding The One You’ve Been Waiting For The Third Man Two and a Half Men Two Minutes to Midnight

PAIRS Alpha and Omega Form and Void Freaks and Geeks Gods and Monsters Heaven and Hell Lost and Found Prophet and Loss Scorpion and the Frog Sex and Violence Torn and Frayed Trial and Error

RELATIVES Brother’s Keeper Mamma Mia Mommy Dearest Mother’s Little Helper O Brother Where Art Thou Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven Rising Son Wayward Sisters What’s Up Tiger Mommy

SAYINGS/EXPRESSIONS Abandon All Hope And Then There Were None Fallen Idols Jump the Shark Keep Calm and Carry On Mint Condition No Rest for the Wicked Of Grave Importance On the Head of a Pin Rock and a Hard Place Southern Comfort Survival of the Fittest

SINGLE WORD #thinman Absence Asylum Baby Breakdown Bugs Byzantium Captives Croatoan Despair Faith Funeralia Ghostfacers Hunted LOTUS Metamorphosis Nihilism Ouroboros Pilot Plush Provenance Roadkill Sacrifice Salvation Scarecrow Shadow Skin Unity Wendigo

SONG Executioner’s Song Song Remains the Same Swan Song

SONG TITLES All Along the Watchtower Dream a Little Dream of Me Folsom Prison Blues I Think I’m Gonna Like it Here Like a Virgin Paper Moon Stuck in the Middle With You

SUPERNATURAL A Very Supernatural Christmas Scoobynatural

TEETH Bitten Citizen Fang Sharp Teeth

THE Benders Big Empty Chitters End Foundry Future Gamblers Great Escapist Mentalists Prisoner Purge Raid Rapture Rupture Scar Spear Trap Vessel Werther Project

THING/SOMETHING Something Wicked The Thing The Things They Carried The Things We Left Behind

TIME As Time Goes By Golden Time Time After Time Time After Time After Time Time is on My Side

TV After School Special Changing Channels Clip Show

UN Unfinished Business Unforgiven Unhuman Nature

WHO/WHAT/WHEN What Is and What Should Never Be When the Levee Breaks Who We Are

YOU & ME Drag Me Away From You Free to Be You and Me

Some obviously qualify for more than one category, so I just picked one 🤷‍♀️

#supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #spn fam #spn family #supernatural family #spn fandom

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shiningwonderland · 11 months ago

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Camus (All Star) Memorial

Translator: Mimi (Twitter: _mimisaurora)

Memorial 1 - Loves Japanese Sweets

The Carrot Club November Issue: Join Myu-sama! Visit Kyoto in autumn, and enjoy enchanting Japanese sweets

Camus-sama, the noble idol recognized among his fans as Myu-sama, will be the guide for this edition.

He will show us some of the Japanese confectionery shops he has recently been into while strolling through the ancient capital in autumn.

By the time our journalist arrives on location half an hour before the meeting, she realizes the Earl was already there!

“I could not allow myself to be late for our appointment, madam.”

Myu-sama smiles at our journalist, who is a little flattered.

“M-My apologies. We’ll be conducting an interview today….”

“Regardless of the interview, you are a lady first and foremost, madam. I, Camus, would be honored to escort you to the very best of my ability. Now, this way, please.”

Following Myu-sama's pace, the first stop is a long-established Zenzai shop named "Konoha", located along a side road off the main street.

The shop’s poster dog, Tanusuke, appears to be well acquainted with Myu-sama.

Their tail whips about happily.

“Do you come here often?”

“In all honesty, I would love to come every day. However, my schedule is quite busy... It's actually for this reason that I was really looking forward to today's interview (laughs).”

Myu-sama reveals a cuter side of himself; a complete departure from his typical perfect butler persona.

His first order was their most popular chilled Zenzai.

“I must say, the refined sweetness of the red bean paste is delightful. It's so delicious that I usually find myself eating more than I should. There was a time I had up to four cups, much to my kouhai’s dismay.”

“Four cups! That many!?”

“How embarrassing… I couldn't help bringing it up. I shouldn't have. May I ask you to keep this between you and I?”

“I apologize, but because this is an interview, I cannot omit any details.”

“As you wish. I fear I may be scolded once again by my kouhai, but I shall persevere.”

“The kouhai you’re referring to is Cecil Aijima, whom you co-starred in a musical* with, correct?”

*Note 1: This August, the musical "Phantom Thief Nyan Nyaan" held its final performance to critical acclaim. There surely were many ladies thrilled to watch Myu-sama play the role of a super sadistic police dog, a complete 180 from his usual kind personality.

“Yes. You’re right.”

“It was also featured in the June issue of Carrot Club. The long dog ears and tail were so cute and a hot topic at the time.”

“Were they cute?...(laughs) This is something I'm not used to being told, it makes me a little shy. That being said, nothing makes me happier than to know that you ladies enjoyed it.”

“You say your kouhai will scold you, but could it be that nothing you do will ever be good enough for him?”

“How about putting it as… I consider us to have a positive, mutually respectful relationship, regardless of positions.”

After picking up a souvenir for Cecil Aijima, we head south of town along a riverside road where Meiji-era structures remain intact.

This is Myu-sama’s favorite path.

“Despite it bearing no resemblance to the streets of my hometown, it brings me a curious sense of nostalgia. It may be a bit of a detour, but please bear with me for a while.”

“It does have a very pleasant atmosphere, making you feel as if you've been sent back through time to the Meiji Era.”

“It would have been even better if the leaves had begun to redden…. I hope to show you around again next time during the height of the season.”

The road is lined with ginkgo and maple trees, making it a popular spot among insiders.

“Speaking of, were you surprised when you first saw the autumn leaves in Japan?”

“Very much so. I was impressed by the sight of the mountains dyed in five different colors. I had wished to show it to Her Majesty, the Queen of my homeland.”

The next stop was a Western-style café named "Moonlight".

“The sign shows an advertisement for a cake set, but do they serve Japanese sweets here?”

“Yes. Surprising, isn't it? Allow me to show you what's in store.”

“Is this a coffee jelly parfait on the table?

It's covered in a yellow powder….”

“Madam, please have a bite first.”

“Then, if you'll excuse me…

It’s… brown sugar jelly!”

“You’re right. The yellow powder is soybean flour. I've been enjoying its delicate sweet taste lately. It pairs amazingly with soft-serve ice cream, too.”

“Do you also like brown sugar?”

“It’s a favorite of mine. It’s wonderfully rich.”

“I was surprised at the variety of sugars available in Japan. You have not only your traditional white sugar, but also brown sugar and sugarcane… I was especially amazed by the elegance of Wasanbon.”

Since coming to Japan, sweet-toothed Myu-sama apparently carries some Wasanbon on him every day.

“You're well known for always keeping sugar on you, but where exactly do you put it?”

“Heh. That’s a secret, even for you, madam.”

Myu-sama simply smiles and avoids the question.

“Could it be that you don't really have any?”

“Is that what you believe?”

With a snap of his fingers, he suddenly reveals a snow-shaped Wasanbon in the palm of his hand...!

“The beauty of Wasanbon is its ability to take on a multitude of shapes, like this. Of course, coarse sugars like granulated or icing sugar are great too.”

“Surely white sugar is common in Silk Palace?”

“It is very cold where I am from, so before, sugar itself was a rarity. That’s why for me, Japan seemed like a dream destination (laughs).”

“Then are the sweets in Silk Palace not… well, sweet?”

“No, on the contrary, because of how precious it is, they're made very sweet. It may even be too strong for some ladies to eat. In moments like those, we brew a strong cup of tea together.”

“It’s similar to… matcha tea in Japan. Though not as formal as the Japanese tea ceremony, Silk Palace also has a custom of hosting guests with tea.”

Myu-sama smiles with a cup of tea in his hand.

“I would be happy to brew you a pot of tea whenever you desire.”

In the end, Myu-sama personally picks out a souvenir for the Carrot Club editorial staff.

“Hatsushimo" is a long-established Japanese confectionery shop that has been in business since the Genroku era.

Upon passing through the shop’s traditional noren curtain, one is immediately hit by a brilliant shade of red.

“The wonderful thing about this place is their Nerikiri. Many of them have autumn leaf motifs** this time of year.”

**Note 2:

The selection of Jo-namagashi changes with the season.

Please inquire with the store for more details.

With a twinkle in his eye, Myu-sama began to select Namagashi from the display case.

“These, for instance, are works of art. They’re designed to resemble autumn leaves in the process of changing their color from green to red. It’s beautiful… It would be a pity to eat them.”

A sweet shaped in the form of a bird was the next one to catch our attention.

“This one here must be inspired by the Hyakunin Isshu. Long is the mountain pheasant’s tail that curves down in its flight; but longer still, it seems to me, left in my lonely plight, is this unending night. It’s a love poem about an autumn night that feels as painfully long as the tail of a mountain bird, when one sleeps alone and apart from the person they love.”

“I see… that explains why the bird is atop a backdrop made of black bean paste.”

“To even understand the Hyakunin Isshu… you are indeed well-informed on Japan, Myu-sama.

Not many Japanese people are as knowledgeable in this subject as you are.

It’s fantastic.”

“No. One can acquire all the knowledge they want later in life. The existence of this historic restaurant is proof in itself that the people of this country have long had a love of beauty and culinary delights. I believe that their passion is far more remarkable than their knowledge.”

Yokan, Higashi. The amount of souvenirs for the editorial staff quickly grew.

“By the way, what is your top pick?”

“It would be Botamochi. Only recently did I learn that the name changes from Ohagi in the fall to Botamochi in the spring.”

He speaks with a smile and buys three pieces of Ohagi for himself.

We ended the interview greatly satisfied.

“Thank you for your cooperation today.”

The December issue will feature “Join Ren-ren! Explore Hama's authentic Italian cuisine”.

- - - - - - - - - -

“So Camus-senpai loves… Japanese sweets.”

I jotted down the gist of the magazine article and then looked up.

“I wonder if he would cooperate with creating the unit song if I brought him some delicious Japanese sweets…”

I genuinely considered it, but shook my head.

No, it wouldn’t be a good idea.

Camus-senpai is someone who keeps his private and public life separate. He wouldn't help us out so easily.

“Then… A song inspired by Japanese sweets…?”

That’s just as bad. It’s not that simple.

If I don't get to know Senpai even better and write a song that only he can sing, and would want to sing, he will never come to acknowledge me.

“In any case, I just have to keep researching.”

I drew in a small breath to get myself in the mood, and turned back toward the stacks of magazines.

#utapri #all star #all star camus #camus utapri #camus memorial

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steampaul · 1 year ago

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i've started a little series of weekly posts documenting every MoC i made (digitally) over the last few years:

Week 3: the first part of 2019:

a movie reference, francis of the filth, that robot dog and set MoCups of The Forest and Satisfactory

making apocalypseburg Mod inspired me to make a Mod based on the thing it was referencing.

i also tried out the gif-maker for Stud.io at that time and even though i liked the result, i nevere really used it again because rendering took waaaaay too long.

i still like and use the rockwork in this, because its simple and effective.

ah yes. Boston dynamics' Spot. i had seen those first few videos and i liked the concept and almost immediately built a minifig-scale version of that adorable little robot dog. (i never anticipated that it would be used as a weapon.) we will revisit this one in the 2020 post.

these two are the SunCorp laboratory in Okinawa (based on absolutely nothing) and the sea of the wretched how i imagined it (featuring the basic rockwork i like so much)

i've never posted these anywhere. which is because they're pretty bad. i built them a bit after finishing Francis of the FIlth, the Book George Miller, aka Filthy Frank wrote before becoming Joji. it wasn't that well written, but i was a biiig fan and i loved it anyway.

here is wave 1 of the set MoCups i made for The Forest

i really wanted to make these feel like real lego sets. that's why i built the Trees a lot simpler and rendered the MoCs as PNGs and added a background based on a random screenshot from the game. i quickly realised that this was a bad idea and i only used it in wave 2 of this series.

this was also the first time where i built a whole series and posted those builds over a few weeks.

wave 2 of the Forest. i built these later on because the first series turned out to be really popular on reddit (and a lot of new episodes of the let's play i've been watching had come out)

i still like some of the ideas i had with these sets, but i think the idea of more simplistic builds = more realistic as a lego set is really stupid by todays standarts.

Satisfactory is a pretty cool game. still really like the way these turned out, especially the way i made the conveyor belts. i had to redo the cables for some of the machines in Paint.net, because some flexible parts had a rendering problem it that version of Stud.io.

this series was so popular that i got asked to give an interview for some french (or canadian?) magazine over discord.

i also got really salty when a similar but better version of the fabricator turned up on lego ideas, even though i had planned to post some of these over there myself. but whatever.

after the forest, SCP should technically be next. but i'll post those Sets next week because of tumblr's 30 images per post limit.

last week first week next week

#lego #lego moc #satisfactory #the forest #boston dynamics #filthy frank #planet of the apes

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rabbitcruiser · 9 months ago

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Morro Rock Ecological Preserve, CA (No. 8)

With an oceanfront parking lot located directly under the shadow of awe-inspiring Morro Rock, this popular surf spot is as close to the rock as it gets. Although technically part of Morro Strand, this beach is often referred to as Morro Rock Beach by locals and travelers alike, for reasons that will become obvious the moment you arrive. Easily stroll the base of Morro Rock, keeping an eye out for seabirds (fun fact: the rock is the last of “the nine sisters,” or volcanic mountains that run from the Central Coast to Southern California). Today, Morro Rock is a historic landmark and bird sanctuary home to Peregrine Falcons, Seagulls and all manner of waterfowl which thrive along the rocky landscape. Surfers, picnickers, kite-flyers and sunbathers flock to the beach located just north of the rock, while the south side—protected by the harbor—is popular among kayakers and fishing enthusiasts. Planning on staying in San Simeon or Cambria, two popular Central Coast kayaking destinations in their own right? We encourage you to bring your kayak south to Morro Bay for a unique experience unlike what you’ve already enjoyed. While you might see whales and elephant seals to the north on Highway 1, Morro Bay features its own menagerie of critters, including friendly harbor seals and a year-round otter population that can be observed regularly snacking, napping, and communing among Morro Bay’s plentiful kelp beds.

Similarly, surfers staying in Cayucos love the close proximity to Morro Rock—known as one of the most popular surf spots on the Central Coast. Why not rent a board and catch a few iconic waves for yourself? Depending on the swell, you can also paddle across the harbor side to Sand Spit beach (also accessible from the Los Osos side). Large waves are common here, so it’s important to watch kids while they play in the water (lifeguards are staffed from Memorial Day Labor Day from 10am-6pm). Please note that dogs must be on-leash in this area, but they are welcome to roam freely at the Morro Bay Dog Beach, which stretches six miles north to dog-friendly town Cayucos. With its vast, sandy beach and views of Morro Rock in the distance, you’ll enjoy the walk just as much as your pup. Lastly, parking at Morro Rock Beach is a breeze: just take your pick of spots in this massive parking lot with bathrooms and outdoor showers to clean off sandy toes. Plus, parking wraps south of the rock, providing even more convenience for busy days (you’ll enjoy even greater views of the rock, local wildlife, and glittering back bay as you park the car). That’s a true win-win!

Source

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fayoftheforest · 2 years ago

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I just read Old Soul Rigmarole which I had avoided thinking It'd break my heart but was pleasantly surprised by how sweet it was! So there's plenty of things I'd like to gush about but here's just a few!!

"Couldn't claw through six feet of dirt." I lose my mind every time I think about it

"And whenever we play house, she always wants to be the dog." A kid after my own childhood title of playhouse dog! the way you wrote the children, for lack of a better term, so real and so true

"HELLO THIS IS TWEEK!!!!" SO REAL!!!! SO TRUE!!!!! grammar ignoring king

oh Tweek talking about his dead husband my beloved!!!! Oh Tweek taking the McCormick name my beloved!!!

Kyle fussing over their child. A+. 10/10 would read ada being called bubala again

Anyways 10/10 fic, thanks for posting it!!

(fic in reference is here)

Thank you so much for your message!! I was feelin all stressed today about not being very productive in terms of writing this week so this was a lovely reminder that people are still enjoying the stuff that I've already got up haha.

I tried to tag everything I could think of for that fic in terms of trigger warnings, but I think that made it look a lot more miserable than it actually is lmao. For a story about mortality and grief I think it's on the lighter side pahaha!!

Funnily enough, the "six feet of dirt" line popped up before my plans to have dead Kenny (in fact, in the earliest draft of the opening scene, it was actually a conversation with Kenny, instead of Tweek). I wrote Craig's question where he asks about a partner, and spotted the opportunity to make a morbid little joke. Then I figured, if I was going to be having a pre-established character death, it's just gotta be Kenny. That's like his whole deal on the show! It would be rude not to pick him.

I don't have many vivid memories from my early childhood, but play-house politics has stuck with me. I have vague recollections of frustration with the animal-playing kids who would try to steal the attention away from my dramatic domestic storyline that I was trying to orchastrate. Tangientally related, a few years back I had a conversation with one of the kids I babysat for at the time (whose stern and quietly judgemental aura was partial inspiration for the character of Ada-May) and the subject of playing house came up. They told me that since their teacher was a lesbian, and married to another one of the teachers in the school, most of the play-pretend marriages that occured were gay. I wanted to sob.

Tweek has no time for grammar!! Death is imminent, who has time for commas?? Not him, that's for certain!!

This news may come as a shock to you (brace yourself) but I've never had a dead husband before, or even a live one, so at times writing Tweek's character felt like kind of a stab in the dark. Every time someone tells me they connected with him, I breathe a sigh of relief.

Kyle would be such a fussy parent and I very much enjoyed writing him as such >:D Being able to integrate Hebrew and Yiddish slang into his vocabulary is something I will never tire of doing.

Thank you again for your ask, and for giving me the opportunity to ramble hehe <3

#south park #wip: old soul rigmarole #sp tweek #sp kenny #ask

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osiristhehermit · 8 months ago

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LIBER SCRIPTUM

» LIBER SCRIPTUM «

Aleister Crowley

The Scientific Solution of the Problem of Government

by Comte de Fénix

First published circa 1937 EV in London.

(It is referred to in the introduction to the 1938 EV edition of The Book of the Law.) Crowley's pseudonym here, "Comte de Fénix" is a play on "Phoenix," his secret name as head of O.T.O.

[ Published in The Revival of Magick, edited by Hymenaeus Beta & R. Kaczynski (1998 ev.) ]

Theorem.

The scientific solution of the problem of Government is given in AL (Liber Legis). This Law supersedes all the empirical theories hitherto current.

Quotation.

Chapter I.

3. Every man and every woman is a star.

10. Let my servants be few & secret: they shall rule the many & the known.

40. Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

41. The word of Sin is Restriction.

42. thou hast no right but to do thy will.

43. Do that, and no other shall say nay.

44. For pure will, unassuaged of purpose, delivered from the lust of result, is every way perfect.

57. Love is the law, love under will.

Chapter II.

19. Is a God to live in a dog? No! but the highest are of us. They shall rejoice, our chosen: who sorroweth is not of us.

20. Beauty and strength, leaping laughter and delicious languor, force and fire are of us.

58. Yea! deem not of change: ye shall be as ye are, & not other. Therefore the kings of the earth shall be Kings for ever: the slaves shall serve.

Chapter III.

4. Choose ye an island!

5. Fortify it!

6. Dung it about with enginery of war!

7. I will give you a war-engine.

8. With it ye shall smite the peoples; and none shall stand before you.

58. But the keen and the proud, the royal and the lofty; ye are brothers!

59. As brothers fight ye!

60. There is no law beyond Do what thou wilt.

Demonstration.

The average voter is a moron. He believes what he reads in newspapers, feeds his imagination and lulls his repressions on the cinema, and hopes to break away from his slavery by football pools, cross-word prizes, or spotting the winner of the 3:30.He is ignorant as no illiterate peasant is ignorant: he has no power of independent thought. He is the prey of panic.But he has the vote.

The men in power can only govern by stampeding him into wars, playing on his fears and prejudices until he acquiesces in repressive legislation against his obvious interests, playing on his vanity until he is totally blind to his own misery and serfdom.The alternative method is undisguised dragooning. In brief, we govern by a mixture of lying and bullying.

This desperate resort to archaic weapons is the heritage of hypocrisy. The theories of Divine Right, aristocratic superiority, the moral order of Nature, are all today exploded bluffs. Even those of us who believe in supernatural sanctions for our privileges to browbeat and rob the people no longer delude ourselves with the thought that our victims share our superstitions.

Even dictators understand this. Mussolini has tried to induce the ghost of Ancient Rome to strut the stage in the image of Julius Caesar; Hitler has invented a farrago of nonsense about Nordics and Aryans; nobody even pretends to believe either, except through the "will-to-believe."And the pretence is visibly breaking down everywhere. They cannot even be galvanized with spasms of pseudo-activity, as still occasionally happens with the dead toads of superstition.

There is only one hope of uniting the people under intelligent leadership; because there is only one thing in which everyone really believes. That is, believes in such a way that he automatically bases every action of his daily life on its principles.(This is true of practically all men, whatever their race, caste, or creed.) This universally accepted basis of conduct is Science.

Science has attained this position because it makes no assertion that it is not prepared to demonstrate to all comers. (This part is so well understood that all the "false prophets"—Spiritualism, Christian Science, ethnological cranks, Great Pyramid puzzle-mongers, and the rest of the humbugs—all pretend to appeal to evidence, not to authority, as did the Kings and the Churches.)The problem of Government is therefore to find a scientific formula with an ethical implication. This formula must be rigidly applicable to all sane men soever without reference to the individual qualities of any one of them.

The formula is given by the Law of Thelema. "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law."[1]This injunction, in one sense infinitely elastic, since it does not specify any particular goal of will as desirable, is yet infinitely rigid, in that it binds every man to follow out exactly the purpose for which he is fitted by heredity, environment, experience, and self-development.The formula is thus also biologically indefeasible, as well as adequate, ethically to every individual, and politically to the State.

Let this formula be accepted by every government. Experts will immediately be appointed to work out, when need arises, the details of the True Will of every individual, and even that of every corporate body whether social or commercial, while a judiciary will arise to determine the equity in the case of apparently conflicting claims. (Such cases will become progressively more rare as adjustment is attained.) All appeal to precedent and authority, the deadwood of the Tree of Life[2], will be abolished, and strictly scientific standards will be the sole measure by which the executive power shall order the people. The absolute rule of the state shall be a function of the absolute liberty of each individual will.

#aleister crowley #thelema #occult #magick

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3liza · 5 months ago

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today is grim's sixth birthday. it's a bit worrying because these big GSDs sometimes start to deteriorate in middle age, but he hasn't shown any signs of hip or elbow dysplasia yet. he asks for me to pat his rump every day, which I take as a sign that he isn't feeling pain in his hips, and I often take the liberty of palpating his femural head and the socket, and all along his spine and tail. I'm not a vet, all I can do is feel for asymmetry and watch him carefully for any sign of pain. i think he may be a little ticklish around some areas but when subjected to pressure the spots don't seem to hurt him.

currently he has a cabochon-shaped lump on his muzzle which I think is the same type of growth as he had removed when he was neutered and delumped before, some sort of keloid-type disorder which so far has been completely benign thankfully. unfortunately the face lump is making him less handsome, which doesn't really matter of course. he has an appointment with a specialist that his vet referred us to, a dermatologist who can take a closer look and give us her opinion about what should be done about it. the lumps are too solid to needle biopsy, there's no fluid in them. the concern is that he may grow the same lumps internally, where we can't see them. I'm wondering if an ultrasound is advisable to see if he's got anything nasty in there. i think we could ultrasound him without general anesthesia, especially if they let me assist.

he got an outdoor bath and this is a picture of him drying on his mesh hammock. he is so good. he doesn't need to be on a leash to be given a bath, he just cooperates. playing in the water was really fun and he got to run around every few minutes to get the sillies out. it's hard to get him wet, he has that waterproof black lab coat that's like a duck's feathers, and unfortunately the dog residue that provides the waterproofing. due to all the bullshit this past year he hasn't had a bath in 11 months, I normally try to bathe him every two weeks. he's feeling and smelling much much better after about five hours of work today but when I blowdried him there was still detectable dog residue being blasted off with the dryer, and he took FOREVER to dry, indicating I hadn't done a good job removing the dog oils or maybe just the conditioner. but it's a whole year of buildup and he's about 75% clean so if I can hit him with another bath in the next couple weeks it should get him caught up to the baseline I want him to be at. he is passing the petting test at least and can be touched without having to wipe your hands on anything. and his head smells inoffensively of baby shampoo instead of the weird funk that seems to emerge after two weeks without bathing. i don't know what the head smell is, it may be gunk from his ears, or it may be a scent gland that's more active than it would be on a dog who was neutered as a puppy, but it's unfamiliar to me and I don't think I've met any other dogs that have this particular dank head smell.

I'm not really a "dog person", I have always thought dogs were incredibly gross! which they are, even the dogs I love and want to spend time with. fortunately grim is not drooly, doesn't have any anal gland issues, and in general the worst he ever smells is just the Dog Oil and Powder scent, which I dislike very much but which is much better than a lot of alternatives. it may just be me being his owner but the nasty wet old towel smell i associate with Dog Households seems to be minimal here, but there's no way to tell if I'm noseblind or not. i mean it smells okay even when I've been out of the house all day so idk.

i think we've all met dogs who are genuinely unpettable because of how covered in oil, rancid saliva and yeast they are. being the fluffy, double-coated, all-weather build of dog (GSDs, huskies, and other outdoorsy types) really keeps the greasiness to a minimum and he never gets matting or crust. but GSDs shed a lot and he produces a sort of pigeony dust that is maddening. dogs are really outside animals, they should live in barns and stables. i have immense tolerance for animal dirt, they can't help it, but I still don't like it and it still bothers me

unrestrained summer fun

#dogs #churchgrim #blog

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animala2z · 2 years ago

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Great Dane Dog Types Puppy, Price, Image, And Special Profile

The great Dane is a huge, powerful, and elegant dog. Males can reach 32 inches long and weigh about 100 to 120 pounds, while females can grow to be 30 inches tall and weigh about 100 to 120 pounds (45 to 59 kilograms).

The Great Dane’s massive head is narrow and flat at the top. Eyebrows are key. Ears fall forward or are cut to stand upright. The neck is long and strong. The body of the Great Dane is long and muscular and the front legs are straight. The tail is medium in length; It is thicker at the base and thinner at the bottom of the hocks.

Great Danes are mild to average shedders. This coat is short and simple. and comes in a variety of colors including brindle or fawn, blue, black, or harlequin with black spots on a white background.

The breed has poor longevity; Great Danes only live for 6-8 years or less.

Did You Know?

Great Danes have appeared in a variety of films, but far and away the best is the 1965 Disney film “The Ugly Dachshund,” about a Dane puppy who is raised with Doxies – and thinks he’s one of them. A must-see for Great Dane lovers.

History

Images of dogs that look like Great Danes have been found on Egyptian artifacts dating back to 3000 BC. and in the Babylonian temples that date back to 2000 BC. was built around. There is evidence that similar dogs originated in Tibet, with written reports of such dogs appearing in Chinese literature in 1121 BC.

The breed is believed to have been taken to various parts of the world by the Assyrians, who traded their dogs with the Greeks and Romans. The Greeks and Romans then bred these dogs with other breeds. An ancestor of the English Mastiff was probably involved in the development of the breed, and some believe the Irish Wolfhound or Irish Greyhound may have played a role as well.

The Great Dane was originally called the Boar Hound because the boars were the ones that were bred to hunt them. Their ears were cut off to prevent the pigs from tearing their teeth. In the 16th century, the breed’s name was changed to “English Dogs”.

In the late 1600s, however, many German nobles began to keep the largest and most beautiful of their dogs in their homes, calling them Kammerhunde (Chamber Dogs). These dogs were pampered and wore collars gilded with velvet. Talk about the sweet life.

The name Great Dane originated in the 1700s when a French naturalist traveled to Denmark and saw a version of the Boar Hound that was slimmer and more like a Greyhound in appearance.

Great Dane Image

He called this dog the Grand Danois, which eventually became the Great Danish Dog with more massive examples of the breed called the Danish Mastiff. The name stuck, even though Denmark did not develop the breed.

Most breed historians credit German breeders for refining the breed into the balanced, elegant dogs we love today. In 1880, breeders and judges met in Berlin and agreed that since the dogs they were breeding were different from the English Mastiff, they would give it their name – Deutsche Dogg (German dog).

He founded the Deutscher Dogen-Club of Germany, and several other European countries took the name. However, the Italians and English-speaking countries did not accept the name. Even today, Italians refer to the breed as Alano, which means Mastiff; And in English-speaking countries, of course, they are called Great Danes.

In the late 1800s, wealthy German breeders continued to refine the breed. He turned his attention to the dog’s temperament, as the Great Dane had an aggressive, ferocious disposition as they were originally bred to hunt wild boars, a particularly ferocious animal. These breeders tried to produce more gentle animals, and – luckily for us today – they succeeded.

We don’t know when the first Great Danes were introduced to America, or where they came from, but the ‘Great Dane Club of America’ was formed in 1889. It was the fourth breed club allowed to join the American Kennel Club.

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drabbles-mc · 2 years ago

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Rendezvous

Walt Breslin & Dani (Past/Reference Walt x Dani)

Warnings: 18+, language, smoking, angsty feelings and Walt being the regret-filled man that we all know and love

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: I think about these two on a regular basis. Walt really had a smart, beautiful, cool-ass girlfriend and he messed it up! Silly man. I would fight armies for Dani. Maybe one day I'll write a happy lil story for the two of them, but the angsty thoughts took the wheel on this one today.

Narcos Mexico Taglist: @garbinge @narcolini @yourlocalspacewitxch @meadowofsinfulthoughts @southotheborder @bport76 @ashlingnarcos @passionatewrites @artemiseamoon (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

He saw her walk by the window he was sitting next to as she made her way towards the main door of the diner. She had her puffy coat pulled tightly around her, a beanie with a pompom on the top sitting on her head. She looked as good as she ever did, especially with the snow that was starting to swirl around outside. Walt felt a smile twitching at his lips before he could even think better of it.

There was a small rush of cold air when she opened the door and stepped inside. She scanned the diner, not taking long to spot Walt. Even if she hadn’t had so much of him committed to memory, he would be an easy man to pick out. She saw the little upturn of his lips and there was something familiar about it, something comforting.

He half-raised his hand as if to flag her down even though she was already walking towards him. He thought about standing up to hug her, but he didn’t know if he was allowed that anymore. He didn’t know if that was too familiar now. So he played it safe and stayed seated. She didn’t seem off-put by it. After everything, skipping out on a hug in greeting wasn’t the worst thing that Walt had ever done to her. They both knew that even if neither of them would ever say it at this point.

She flashed him a quick smile before unzipping and shrugging off her coat, letting it stay curled around her and put a barrier between her and the back of the booth she was sitting in. She plucked the hat from the top of her head, setting it to the side with her purse before reaching up and smoothing her hair out. Walt couldn’t help but to notice how much longer it was than the last time he’d seen her. It looked good. She always looked good. She let out a quick exhale, shoulders relaxing like she was finally settled in enough to try and talk to him.

She brought her hands up onto the table, bracing her forearms on the surface of it. She took a moment to study his face for a moment before finally saying, “Hey, Walt.”

The warmth from the coffee mug in his hands had nothing on the wave that washed over him at the sound of her saying that with a small but genuine smile on her face. The knot in his stomach loosened at the realization that whatever anger he had been trying to gear up for wasn’t there anymore. He wouldn’t really describe himself as a man who was lucky, but he’d always gotten much more than he deserved with her. And he still did, apparently.

“Hey, Dani.” He cleared his throat, feeling like he didn’t sound quite like himself, but not able to stop it. “You look good.”

She smiled. “Thanks. You too.” She paused as the waitress brought her a coffee and a menu before flitting off to her other tables. She brought the small cup to her lips and took a sip, letting it warm her from the inside out. “So,” she set it back down on the table, “Chicago?”

Walt chuckled and nodded. “Yea, Chicago.”

She tilted her head in curiosity. “For good?”

“No,” he drummed his fingers on the outside of his cup, “just here for a conference. Flying out Sunday.”

Dani chuckled. “They couldn’t find a better place for a conference than Chicago in the middle of winter?”

He leaned back in the booth, smiling across the table at her. “I stopped expecting them to make sense a long time ago.”

“Hm,” she hummed, her smile softening. “And they say an old dog can’t learn new tricks.”

“They just had to beat it into me first, I guess,” he said with a humorless chuckle and a shake of his head. He paused for a moment before saying, “Thanks for doin’ this.”

She shook her head before taking another sip of her coffee. “Don’t thank me. You’re paying,” she said with a laugh.

He nodded, a tiny smile returning to his face. “That’s fair.”

Their conversation got paused when the waitress came back to take their order. Dani rattled hers off without even having to look over the menu. No wonder she had suggested this place. Walt’s eyes dropped down to the menu briefly one last time before ordering.

When she reached up to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear, he saw the ring around her finger. She was wearing a few, so maybe the bejeweled silver band around her left ring finger was purely decorative. But it probably wasn’t. It hit him like a surprise when it really should’ve been anything but. No way that every other guy out there was going to be stupid enough to repeat his mistakes and let her get away. That hurt more to think about than he bargained for.

He could feel Dani’s eyes on him and he wished that he knew what she was thinking. There was a smile on her face, and she seemed like she wanted to be there, but part of him was feeling like it had all been a little too easy. Part of him thought that maybe she would’ve changed her number. Not because of him specifically, but just because of life. But she picked up on the third ring, sounding genuinely surprised when she heard who was on the other end of the line. Then he thought for sure that he was going to have to put up a bit of a fight to talk her into seeing him, but it was easy. He asked if she thought she would have time to meet up and grab lunch or dinner one of the days that he was in town, and she told him to pick a day and she’d make the time. After everything that happened and the years that now separated them, she still made the time.

“So,” her voice drew him back to the present conversation rather than letting him dwell on all the things that didn’t happen, “what’s new?”

He choked back a laugh at the broadness of the question. When he caught the glint in Dani’s eyes he knew that she did it on purpose, something to just get him to laugh and drag him out of his head a little bit, even if it was just for a second. What’s new. What wasn’t?

“You go first,” he countered. “Still working at the university?”

Her smile broadened as she nodded. “Yea. It’s,” she paused, almost dialing back just how much she loved it before thinking better of it, “it’s really great. I love it.”

The smile on his face was as genuine as it had ever been. He nodded. “That’s real good, Dani.”

She shook her head at him. “You still know how to make good things sound sad, you know that?”

He chuckled, knowing that she was joking but it was all truth. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She took a sip of her coffee. “Your turn. When you’re not conferencing in Chicago, where do they have you now?”

“They got me going between a few places. I’m in New York a lot. Did a stint in Miami. Worked with the guys in Colombia for a few months before they sent me back to New York again.”

Her eyebrows lifted, “Colombia?”

He nodded, lightly rapping his knuckles against the table. “Yea. Following the coke trail. Like some fucked up Hansel and Gretel.” He chuckled dryly.

Dani had to laugh at that. “Long trail from New York to Colombia and back again.”

“It’s how they keep me busy,” he joked. He paused. “You’d like New York.”

She hummed in interest. “Yea? You think so?”

“I do.”

“Think I’d like it more than Chicago?” she asked with a smile.

He shook his head. “Don’t think you’d like anywhere more than you like Chicago.”

There was a beat of silence and for a split second he contemplated asking about the ring. The words were on the tip of his tongue despite the fact that it wasn’t at all his business anymore. He still wanted to know, though. That was the type of thing that was going to eat away at him if he left this whole thing without a clear-cut answer. Which was ridiculous, and he knew that. He should be thanking his lucky stars that she even wanted to look at his face after everything that had happened before. And he was thankful. But he was also painfully curious. And maybe a bit of a masochist too.

He opened his mouth to ask the question, but before he could, their waitress reappeared with their food. Divine intervention on the smallest scale possible, the young woman asking if they wanted refills on their coffee saved him from making a fool out of himself to Dani yet again.

They didn’t talk all that much while they ate. Small exchanges between bites, not attempting to dig into anything too deep while there was still food to be had. Walt was a bit thankful for that. He let Dani direct the conversation for the most part, which was more of a relief than he had thought it was going to be. She’d always been better at this kind of stuff than him anyway.

When the waitress came to take their empty plates away, she asked if either of them wanted anything for dessert. Walt was halfway through saying no when Dani asked for a slice of pie. The waitress nodded, ready to take back off towards the kitchen again when she added on, “Oh, and two forks, please.”

The waitress smiled, looking back and forth between the two of them for a moment before saying, "You got it. Comin’ right up.”

When the waitress walked away, Walt looked back to Dani with a slightly confused smile on his face. “Pie?”

“What?” She shrugged as she took a large sip of her coffee. “It’s good here. Plus, you could use the extra calories let’s be real.”

He chuckled and shook his head at her. “Can’t catch a break.”

Her smile was warm. “What more of a break could you ask for than a slice of apple pie? Plus they serve it with ice cream. Live a little, Walt. Put something besides alcohol and cigarettes into your system for once.”

“Butter me up with small talk earlier so you could rip into me now?” he asked with a laugh.

“You know better than anyone that this isn’t me ripping into you.” She said it like it was a joke, but it wasn’t one, really.

He nodded slowly, the smile on his face dimming just a bit because he knew just how true her statement was. Dani was one of the smartest, funniest, kindest people he’d ever met. So when she reached the end of her rope, when she decided to let it fly and tell people the things that she had been holding back in the interest of being nice, it was something. She wasn’t loud or vulgar the way that most people got when they were angry. She was honest, and scathing, and real. That was so much harder to stomach.

“I was surprised that you agreed to do this,” Walt said after a few long seconds of silence.

Dani couldn’t pretend that she was surprised, per se. Part of her was a little surprised about it too. She wouldn’t have ever gone out of her way to reach out and try to reconnect with Walt. But when he had called, something inside her said that she shouldn’t turn him away. So here they were.

“Why?” She paused as the waitress set the slice of pie down in the center of the table between them. She set both forks next to it and slipped away, leaving the two of them to get back into their conversation as Dani took the first bite out of the pie. “Did you think I was just going to call you some mean names and slam the phone back down on the receiver?” she asked with a laugh.

Walt shook his head. “Nothing like that, no. Just, I don’t know, just thought you’d tell me I was wasting my time. That you didn’t wanna see me or whatever. Figured you’d still be pissed off with me.”

“Hmm,” she hummed as she nodded, like she understood where he was coming from. “I get that I guess.” She took another bite before saying, “I’m not mad, Walt.”

“Really?” He didn’t believe her. Not because she had a habit of lying, but because who the fuck wouldn’t be mad at him for everything that he put her through.

She had to laugh at his disbelief. “Really. But don’t worry, I used to be.” She sighed, toying with a few of the large crumbs on her side of the plate. Looking up and over at him, she said, “I didn’t like being angry at you. I needed to be for a while. You know, so I wouldn’t do something ridiculous.”

“Like take me back?” he offered up, saying what she wouldn’t.

She nodded with a soft laugh. “Yea, like that.” She paused. “So, yea, I was mad at you for a little while. Because I had to be. I only held onto it for a little while, though. Then I let it go. Moved on. Same thing you did. Or,” she chuckled as she realized that Walt’s version of moving on was just continuing to do what he had been doing the whole time he was with her, “well, you know what I mean.”

He smiled sadly. “I know.” He paused, clearing his throat in the hopes that it would stuff down whatever feelings were trying to bubble up. “You’re good, though?”

She smiled, nodding. “I’m good, Walt.” She used her fork to gesture to his. “And so is this pie, so take a bite before I eat it all.”

Walt chuckled but he gave in. It was the least he could do. And, he had to admit, she was right. It was a really good slice of pie. Maybe there really was something to making time to do stuff like this. Creature comforts and all that.

“Since you’re not mad,” he started as he scooped some of the ice cream onto his fork, “can I ask you something?”

The smile that slowly curled her lips said that she already had an idea of what was coming. Even though she knew, she still nodded. “Sure. Ask away.”

“Who is he?” He pointed to her ring with his fork.

“Why? So you can run a background check on him?” she joked.

It got him to smile. “No, no. Nothing like that.”

She nodded. “I know.” There was a brief pause before she said, “I met him at work.”

“Another brainiac?” he asked, his smile as genuine as it could be given the feeling of regret creeping through him.

Dani laughed. “Yea. I mean, he’s not quite as smart as I am,” she made the comment in jest, “but you know.”

“No one is,” Walt said with a small smile and a shake of his head.

Dani rolled her eyes with a smile as she took another bite of pie. “Suck up.”

“Least I could do, right?”

Dani let out a quiet sigh as she reached across the table with her other hand. She rested it on Walt’s forearm, and he could feel the warmth of her hand even through the thick flannel that he was wearing. She waited for him to meet her eyes before she spoke.

“You don’t owe me anything, Walt. If you’re still carrying around some kind of guilt about this, us, after all this time, let it go.” She gave his arm a light squeeze. “We’re both alright. It all worked out.”

She pulled her hand away and Walt wanted to reach for it and catch it again but he stopped himself. “Sorry.” He was apologizing for everything that had happened before as much as he was apologizing for the thoughts currently going through his head.

She shook her head. “Don’t be.” She set her fork down on the edge of the plate. “I don’t want to be one of those annoying people who always says that everything happens for a reason.”

“But?” Walt said with a chuckle.

She huffed out a soft laugh. “But I think, maybe, some things do. You didn’t want to be here, Walt. And that’s okay. I didn’t want to keep having to give you up for months at a time for your job. That’s okay too. You would’ve been miserable cooped up here. And I would’ve been miserable being stuck on the other side of the border from you constantly wondering if you were okay. We both got what we wanted in the end, right?”

That felt like a loaded question. Maybe it only felt that way for Walt because now he had no fucking idea if he had gotten what he wanted. He didn’t want to say that to her, though. The weight of the ghosts and regrets that he dragged around behind him like a ball and chain was almost unbearably heavy. He wasn’t going to put any of that weight on her. He’d done enough of that in the time that they were together.

“Right.”

The waitress reappeared, plucking the empty plate up from the center of the table. She set the check down in the middle where the plate had been. “No rush,” she reassured. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Walt looked up at her, offering a smile and a nod. “Thanks.”

When she walked away, he pulled his wallet out, counting out a few of the bills to cover the check. He set the money on top of the thin slip of paper. Sitting back in the booth, he couldn’t help but to look at her. He wanted to tell her that he missed her, but he knew it would be pointless at best, and unfair at worst to go picking at those scabs. So he let it lie.

“I’m really happy for you,” he said instead. And he meant it. He surprised himself with just how much he meant it.

Dani relaxed a little in her seat, the ends of her mouth turned up into a smile. “Thank you. I’m happy for you too. I do keep an eye, you know, on the news and everything. I hear about it.” She paused. “I’m proud of you.”

Those words felt like they had peeled away the weights crushing his chest. He didn’t know how to say that to her, though. So instead he said, “Thank you.”

“You ready?” she asked, about to reach for her hat and purse.

He cleared his throat and nodded. “Yea, yea I’m good.”

He slipped back into his jacket with ease, watching as Dani got wrapped up once again in her puffy winter coat. She pulled the hat back onto her head, pushing her hair back behind her shoulders before getting her purse situated on her shoulder. She looked over and saw Walt watching her, and she chose to ignore the wistful look on his face.

She gestured to the door. “After you.”

He chuckled as he stepped past her. “And they say chivalry is dead.” When the two of them were out on the sidewalk, getting caught in the flurries that had picked up a bit more since Dani had walked into the diner, he asked, “Where’d you park? I’ll walk you to your car.”

She smiled, knowing better than to try to win the argument about it. She motioned down the sidewalk. “Just at the end of the block.”

The two of them walked in silence. Walt so badly wanted to reach into the pocket of his jacket and pull out his pack of cigarettes, but he didn’t. He wasn’t going to do that to her. He just wanted something to do with his hands, something to keep him busy.

“It really was good seeing you, Walt,” she said when they reached her car.

He chuckled. “Don’t gotta sound so surprised about it.”

She rolled her eyes playfully. “Be safe out there, alright?”

He nodded. “Will do.”

He was about to say goodbye and turn around when she pulled him into a hug. It was a brief embrace, but snug for the few moments that it lasted. Walt sucked in a breath, not having expected it and immediately wishing that it would last a little longer.

She stepped back, reaching for the handle on her car door. “Let me know next time you’re in town.”

“I will.” He didn’t know yet if that was a lie or not. Either way, it sounded good.

The second that Dani’s car pulled around the corner and out of sight, Walt pulled the pack of cigarettes from his jacket. He lit one, the smoke swirling around the snowflakes that were falling even faster now than they had been just a couple minutes before when the two of them left the diner. Stuffing his free hand into his jacket pocket, he made his way back down the block towards his own car.

His cigarette was spent by the time he got there. He tossed it on the ground, snubbing it out beneath his boot. Unlocking the car, he slid into the driver’s seat and immediately put the key in the ignition. He cranked up the heat, wanting to warm the space as quickly as possible. Leaning back in the seat, the back of his head pressed into the headrest behind him. He took a deep breath, his long, slow exhale visible in the cold air. He shut his eyes for a moment before sitting a little more upright.

Reaching over, he picked up the beanie that was resting in the passenger seat of his car. He turned it over in his hands a few times, thinking about when she’d given it to him. He wondered why he had kept it all that time. He wondered if he should get rid of it now. He huffed, tossing it unceremoniously back onto the seat where it had just been before throwing the car in drive and heading back to his hotel.

#narcos mexico #narcos mx #narcos: mexico #walt breslin #walt breslin x dani #dani #dani narcos mexico #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

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bubblyhoney · 4 years ago

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picnic bitch

warnings: crude language duh, suggestive (not explicit) content, an eminem reference

tags: sapnap x gn!reader

words: 1156

A/N: a continuation of a detail from my boyfriend!sapnap head canon :D

The breeze wafts across your face, moving a lock of hair to tickle on your cheek. You swat a hand up at your cheek and furrow your brows.

The weather today has been fairly pleasant and not too sweltering, thank God. The park is busy this time of afternoon, but you both snagged a spot underneath a huge tree in the southwest corner of the field.

“Pass me a strawberry, please, baby,” he mumbles from above you. You glance up at him, one eye squinted, and reach for the container of strawberries. “Feed me.” He smirks and drops his mouth open, tongue out. You just roll your eyes and place a berry into his mouth, careful to not get his spit on you. You settle back into his lap, content.

Today was the designated picnic day. You try to have a couple during the summer just because it’s so lovely to sit outside, relax, and eat, but you’d already had about six since the start of summer. They mostly consist of you feeding Sapnap fruit and laying with your head on his lap, stretched out and comfortable. Today you were sporting clothes all loose and blue as the sky, wanting to be stylish but not too sweaty. He’d gone for sweat-shorts and a green flannel over a white shirt: cute. Very cute. So cute you can’t help but stare and feel your cheeks flush.

Shuffling his legs, he readjusts his arms and hums as he settles back into the bark of the tree. Sweet music plays lightly in the background, courtesy of your portable speaker sitting perfectly on top of the picnic basket.

“You look ethereal,” is what you can’t help but to whisper. You peek one eye open and stare up at his relaxed face. He rolls his eyes but smiles down at you, tips of his ears pink.

“Shut up,” he mumbles, shy. You just huff and roll up onto an elbow, reaching for your lemonade. It’s tart on your tongue and you make a pleased noise at the taste, swallowing. He just watches you.

“What time are you making dinner?” You fold up onto your knees, raising your eyebrows as you screw the cap back onto your bottle.

“Oh, am I making dinner now?” Teasing, he reaches for your arms and you accede, letting him tug you onto his lap. “It’s salad night.” Making a face, he strokes up and down your bicep, both soothing and causing goosebumps.

“I thought you liked salad night, babe.” His hair is soft and nice on your palm when you reach a hand up to pet his hair. He stills and lets you, but shrugs after a moment.

“I like salad, but never as a full meal. Can we make spaghetti?”

“Okay, yeah,” you agree, shuffling forward on his lap. “That sounds good. I’ll be expecting homemade pasta, Chef.”

“Oh, yeah?” He brushes a wind-disturbed tuft of hair out of your eyes. Full lips split into a smile as he leans back into the tree, eyes closed. “Sounds like a lot of effort, sweetheart.”

Your skin tingles brightly at the pet name. A beam of sunlight breaks through the green leaves of the tree and stripes diagonal across his calm expression. When you said ethereal, you meant it.

The serene mood, all breezy and gentle music, breaks when you open your mouth. As usual.

“Hey, are you Mom’s spaghetti?” You pause for a second and let your hand drop onto his collarbone. “Because you make my knees weak and my palms sweaty.” The pick-up line takes a second to hit before his eyes snap open. Bowing forward, he makes a retching sound into your lap.

“Oh my God,” he breathes, cheeks puffy and strained as he holds in a laugh. “That was actually awful. You should be ashamed.” Shrugging, you relax back into his thighs with a sigh.

“I thought it was pretty good, actually. You’re in love now; I just beguiled you. Get beguiled.” Your voice is teasing, poking, as you play with the bottle of lemonade in your hands.

“I don’t think an Eminem reference has as much power as you think it does,” he says simply, and tugs you closer into his lap. One hand slides up to your neck, just resting, before he’s pulling you forward, inches away from his mouth. “But I do love you.” His lips slide easily against yours, tasting your chapstick and breathing you in. You taste like lemon and sugar. His other hand rests comfortably in the curve of your waist, squeezing intermittently.

You take a few minutes to just kiss. Not making out, not grinding or teasing. It’s peaceful out here, away from families, so you take your time.

It’s the second a drop of water plops right onto your shoulder that you tense. Pulling away, you raise an empty palm up in the air. Drop. Drop.

“It’s raining,” you practically wail, and clamber out of his lap. The sky has turned an ugly grayish blue, dark clouds that came out of seemingly nowhere looming in the distance. He huffs, irritated, and starts to gather your stuff up. The strawberries go into the basket, as do the sandwiches, and you toss your lemonade in as well. You stand to fold the picnic blanket and shove it down into a tan tote bag.

The park is rapidly clearing of people. Teenagers at the skating park hop on their bikes, adults walking their dogs scatter in the parking lot to their respective vehicles, and you two scramble to collect your things and make a dash for your car. It’s full on pouring when you yank open the passenger seat and climb clumsily in.

“This sucks!” He yells over the downpour, and slams closed the driver’s door. It’s much more quiet in here, you realize, and tilt your face up to the sunroof. You’d peeled back the covering on the way here “to let the sunlight in” and now it’s getting pelted with large, warm raindrops. Sapnap moves in his seat, getting situated, and starts the car with a rumble. It’s also fucking hot in here.

“This is not how I was thinking our picnic was going to end,” he pouts. “I thought we would actually make it to the cake.” A cartoonish frown appears on his lips and you melt, aw-ing. You reach a thumb to rub at his bottom lip.

“It’s okay, we can finish the cake when we get home. Spoil our dinner.” You wiggle your eyebrows and he huffs out a laugh, pulling his seatbelt to its lock.

“I doubt we’ll make it home without pulling over and shoving our faces with it,” he scoffs. A smirk grows on your face and he glances warily at it, shifting to reverse out of the parking spot. “What’s that face for?”

“Are you familiar with the idea of whipped cream play?”

Yeah, the cake doesn’t make it home.

A/N: ask or send me stuff!! requests, rants, anything. :D comments are extremely welcome and even encouraged

#sapnap #mcyt #sapnap x reader #sapnap x gn!reader #sapnap x you #sapnap fluff #sapnap fic #sapnap fanfic #sapnap drabble #sapnap oneshot #mcyt x reader #mcyt x you #bubblyhoneyfics

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jungshookz · 4 years ago

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🧦 stocking stuffers: taehyung’s good at hiding presents and y/n’s bad at finding them

pairing; roommate!taehyung x reader

genre; sfw!! feat. the usual antics because roommate!tae and y/n are both clowns (also there’s a reference from the fic in here.,., if u kno u kno)

what to expect; “i’ll make-out with you for five minutes straight if you tell me where you’ve hidden them.”

wordcount; 1.5k

»»————-　🎁　————-««

“hey, i could get used to this view.” taehyung whistles lowly as he pushes his bedroom door open, his gaze immediately falling to your ass that’s sticking up in the air

he’s been looking all over the apartment for you for the past twenty minutes

(the only reason why it took him twenty minutes was because he went on a mandatory snack break when he went to the kitchen to replenish his energy from the exertion of looking for you)

“-!” you yelp when you knock the top of your head against the base of the bed, quickly bringing a hand up to press against the sore spot, “tae! ...there you are! i was, uh, looking all over for you!”

“and the first place you thought to look was under my bed?” he asks, leaning against the frame of the door and shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants

“well, it’s... it’s pretty spacious down here, so...” you swipe your arm underneath the bed to emphasize your point, “you could totally fit under here-”

“are you-”

“no, i’m not!” you chuckle nervously, getting up onto your feet before dusting your hands off, “no. i’m not.” you repeat, lowering your voice by a couple octaves

taehyung blinks

“i didn’t even finish asking the question.”

“well, whatever your question was, my answer is no, i’m not.” you clear your throat, leaning over a little to pull up the corner taehyung’s blanket a little bit before shooting him a sheepish smile

(you ripped it off the bed when you barged in like a rabid dog because you were positive that your presents were hiding underneath the sheets - unsurprisingly, they weren’t.)

“i wasn’t doing anything!” you cross your arms defensively, “that’s my point.”

“you’re acting like you just murdered someone and now you’re just trying to hide the body.” taehyung points out before his eyes widen slightly, “you… you didn’t murder-”

“no, i didn’t murder anyone, dumbass,” you snort, “i was just… cleaning up a little bit! you know how dusty it gets in this apartment…” you sigh, slowly stepping towards taehyung while nodding slowly, “it’s, uh… it’s pretty clean in here! i have to say you’ve done a pretty good job at dusti-“

“if you’re looking for your presents, you’re definitely not going to find them in here-“

“then where else would you be hiding them!?” you blurt out, electricity zinging up your spine as you stand up straight

taehyung laughs lightly before shaking his head and turning on his heel, “do you actually think i’m dumb enough to keep presents hidden under my bed? this isn’t my first rodeo, cowgirl-”

he used to do secret santa with his roommates back when he still lived at the frat house and he learned to hide presents very well because boys are much more aggressive when it comes to tearing a place apart to look for something

one time he came home to see that the entire couch had been flipped over and cut open (with its stuffing strewn everywhere) which wasn’t a very pleasant surprise

that was a nice couch!

so if you really thought he was hiding his presents underneath his bed... you must be insane!

“well... i already put my presents for you underneath the tree!” you whine, clinging to taehyung from behind as the two of you make your way down the hallway and out to the living room, “why can’t you put yours out?”

“i have self-control, so i haven’t even thought about touching or shaking any of the packages underneath the tree,” taehyung teases, “plus, you put them out here on your own accord! i certainly didn’t force you to-”

“but it’s not fAIR-!” you whine, burrowing your face in between taehyung’s shoulder blades as your arms tighten around his torso, “it’s so not fair...”

taehyung hums in response, reaching down to give the top of your folded hands a loving pat

you can cry about it all day long but it’s not going to change his mind or make him give in

...also, are you going to cling to him like this all day?

because if you are, you guys will probably run into some issues when he eventually has to use the washroom-

“i’ll make-out with you for five minutes straight if you tell me where you’ve hidden them.” you perk up, propping your chin up onto tae’s shoulder

“you think a measly five minute make-out session is going to tempt- how old do you think we are?? thirteen??” taehyung scoffs, turning his head slightly so he can kind of look at you, “nice try.”

“what about a handjob?”

“hm, getting warmer-” taehyung jokes as he walks towards the kitchen, reaching down to try to prY you off of him

“blowjob???” you’re more desperate now as you trail behind him, taehyung letting out a laugh at how needy you’re acting, “sex! i’ll give you the full package!”

the two of you step into the kitchen, taehyung making his way to the fridge for another snack

he thinks he deserves an award of some kind for finding you

and a nice, crisp bowl of cereal sounds good to him right now

“what do you want?? you wanna put a leash on me?? tie me up??” you slap your hands down on the kitchen island as you watch taehyung grab the milk from the fridge, “blindfold me! use ice cubes-”

“hold on, wait-” taehyung spins around, his eyes widening in concern as he holds up a finger, “did you hear that?”

“huh?” you tilt your head curiously before looking around the kitchen, “hear wha-”

“hello! this is kim taehyung headquarters, you’re speaking to secretary kim. how may i be of service today?” taehyung chirps, the corners of his mouth pulling up in a bright smile

oh god

oh god please

please nO

“don’t do this to me.” you whisper, shaking your head slowly, “do not make me do this again-”

“i’m sorry, miss.” tae hums, closing the fridge door, “could you speak up? i’m afraid i can’t hear you...”

you slump down against the counter, turning your head and squishing your cheek against the cool surface as you give in, “...i would like to file a complaint about kim taehyung to the kim taehyung complaint department.”

taehyung grins at the sight of you completely giving up, “great! can i get a name?”

“y/n y/l/n.” you mumble, feeling an immense wave of deja vu rush over you

this sucks

everything sucks

“alright, miss y/l/n.” taehyung smiles to himself as he pulls the drawers open for a spoon, “i’ll connect you to the kim taehyung complaint department right now. i’m going to put you on hold now, if you wouldn’t mind waiting?”

“you know, i would mind,” you get up from the counter before propping your chin up on your palm, “but i don’t think you really care-”

taehyung cuts you off as he starts to hum an overly cheerful version of twinkle twinkle little star, his head bopping along to the beat as he pours milk into his bowl

you continue to glare at him as your eyebrows knit together in frustration

unbelievable

you’re dating an idiot

why are you playing along with this???

again???

“hello!” taehyung’s head suddenly shoots up, “this is the kim taehyung complaint department of kim taehyung headquarters. you’re speaking to head manager kim taehyung. how may i be of service today?”

you poke your tongue against the side of your cheek as you think about your response

you knoW that as soon as you say something, he’s going to cut you off

...

you’re not going to let him win this time

this time, you’re going to be the one who gets the last word in!

you push yourself up off the counter before crossing your arms, taehyung looking at you expectantly

“this is... miss y/l/n that i’m speaking to, correct? i was told that you had a complaint to make?”

you give tae a half-hearted shrug in response

taehyung nods to himself in understanding

so that’s how you’re going to do this?

you think you’re going to beat him at his own game?

“i’m sorry, am i correct in saying that your complaint had something to do with christmas presents?” taehyung purses his lips in thought, “because i’d be more than happy to help you find them-”

“woah, woah, okay-!” the smug grin falls from your face as you start bouncing up and down on your heels excitedly, “YES please tell me where i can-”

“oOh, sorry!” taehyung winces, sucking in air through his gritted teeth, “my snack break just started. you know how it is.” he pouts, bringing a spoonful of cereal up to his mouth before taking a bite

mm!

hits the spot :’)

“are you fu-”

“pheavse pheel phree to call again la-er-!” he murmurs through a mouthful of cheerios, milk dribbling down his chin

“oh, you’re disgusting-” you scoff, rolling your eyes before turning on your heel to exit the kitchen, “and your lame kim taehyung headquarters bit is so not funny-!”

❄️christmas with cee 2020 masterlist 🎄

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