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orleans-jester · 2 years ago

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Claudette + Kuzco + Clopin + Piper

Claudette gets Valentines Day - always. It’s her favorite holiday. It used to be her birthday but then she started feeling old, and not exactly wanting to celebrate that, so Valentine’s Day. Bring on the champagne, which she had a taste for better than Clopin’s love of wine. She would bulk order a bunch of candy hearts - the good, fancy kind that have real flavor and aren’t just chalk - and have personalized messages on them. ‘Kuzpin forever’ ‘Kuzette forever’ And of course there were more dirty ones, instructional ones ‘Kiss me’ ‘Suck me’ ‘Fuck me’ Some had memories on them to make them giggle and reminisce. ‘Disney sux’ ‘Walmart rulez’ ‘Paris, u + me’ ‘Today is the greatest’ All shaved everything, hair extensions, make up to try to soften up the very masculine features, and wearing a little (what else?) purple nightgown. Of course some of these hearts will be for Piper, because no one lets Piper be left out. She’ll get her own box of fancy French chocolates, ordered before they left NZ, and their temp maid picking it up. Lots of serenading from Claudette, dancing, living the best life.

Frank + Delta

Although Frank hasn’t been feeling the best, since apparently Delta has been thinking about a lot of his failures and singing Flotsam’s praises (come on, he’s a jealous guy of course he’s going to catch onto all of that, it’s not going to be great), he still slightly celebrates the big love day. He doesn’t do it in a grand way, he’s not much for that. Not is he going to go all lovey dovey, hearts over everything, romance is in the air, serenading like Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You. This is Frank. Who is having doubts because everything is pointing to Delta doing the same. Especially when being friends with Valerie apparently goes hand in hand with insulting him, she only thinks about one while doing the other? What he will do is he will walk through the chaos to where there are still those lingering outside, the stubborn reporters, the foolish, hopeless people hoping that their loved ones will come out. He picks two. Beckons them in. And then he enjoys the simple act of strangling them with his own hands. That’s something that came out through Delta. He only loved receiving pain. Now he didn’t mind giving it, but he saved the more exquisite, creative pain for those that deserved it. Not these .. things. Carved them up. Took out their hearts. So slippery and slimy and red. He left the corpses to either fester or for the feral animals to eat up. Fresh meat. Using careful stitches that Sally had taught him, he sewed the two hearts together to become one. A meaty surprise. Surround it in resin so that it will last longer than a few hours before the stench becomes too horrible. Preserved now. No ribbon or cards, he’ll just give it to Delta during their dinner, kissing the top of her hand.

GoGo + Scout

Of course Valentine’s Day falls on a school day. And though she’s rather caught up in her mechanics, as per usual, and taking care of these human-like dolls and their vampire owner, the lack of boxing girl has been noticed. Scout didn’t really have to say anything. So as a bit of fun, Go-Go comes into school early and sets up a fan in the back of Scout’s locker, that’s attached to the door, and filled it with Fast and the Furious valentines. So that when Scout goes in to try to get her books, whoosh, the valentines are going to come flying out in the breeze, and scatter all over the hallway.

Oogie Boogie + Spade + Barrel

Quality family time, a big batch of candied hearts - real hearts, of course, dipped in sugars to make it oh so sweet and meaty and chewy and crisp. Rather simple this year, but there’s a lot coming up, Oogie can feel it.

Valentin + Nicolai

Valentin starts off the day with jumping on his cousin’s bed. “ITS MY DAYYYYY!” He says, music playing, lots of dancing. Pretty much acting out the True Faith music video up there. Nicolai is used to this, aims a well timed ick at his knees, making him buckle and fall off the bed. He’s going to be like this for the rest of the day. Handing out roses to people who were still at HTT. Unable to pay attention in class. It’s not even his birthday. It’s just Valentine’s Day. He keeps an eye out for CJ though is unsure if he made it through the craziness. Finishes off the night with Kartoshka and Salted Caramel White Russians.

Elsa

Elsa won’t be saying much when Koda goes. She got her rejection email. She was hardly the type to rebuttle it, no meant no. It was a shame. But he was leaving her with memories. She would move out of the hotel, refusing to take up anymore of the Laveaus money on it, and find herself a small studio to stay in for the time being. Ellie was strong willed, she would be going whether Elsa approved of it or not, there was no point in trying to find a bigger place. She’d just - seem to carry on. Settle in. Visit the Laveaus every once in a while, trying to make a point of doing it once a week, even if just for a short while. She even buys Go-Go’s old bike - a standard bicycle, nothing souped up - to get all the way out there. Where is life going, she does not know. But behind those doors, she feels that loss very deeply. The candles left by Koda stay on her table, with reverence.

Ellie + Babyface

Valentine’s Day probably happening on the road. She’s remembering the one the year before. Working, and then being surprised by him bringing over a Care Bear. It was a really cute gesture. Making out in the pantry. She’d be looking at him and smiling a lot, remembering it, bring it up. She’ll try to surprise him at one of their stops by getting him a couple of gifts. Babyface was such a tough guy, or at least he tried to be, she let him keep up the illusion though she knew the softie beneath, so she started with a unicorn that she’d keep on the dashboard of whatever vehicle they managed to get. It reminded her of the prom that they totally crashed. A couple of giant candy bars. AND some weird teriyaki beef jerky sodas.

Maddy + Bastien + Frankie

It’ll be another Valnetine’s Night inside, since there’s not much in the city now - no going out to get dinner, drinks, see a movie, anything like that. But that’s alright, there’s plenty to do inside. Maddy will put Frankie in a cute little Valentine’s Day outfit to start up that cheer. She wasn’t going Reaper this year, though she still had that outfit hanging in a special place, but she did stic with something pretty and black that was sheer but also hid that belly she was still working on getting rid of, did a bit of make up to try to be more sultry and sexy. Feeding her man right, giving him some dances so maybe he could objectify her a little bit, just a touch, and of course, plenty of love, kissing all over, massaging, pampering him.

#Gonna do a Thomas starter #but wasn't sure if you had any plans so wrote some of my own #if you wanna write anything out just lemme know :)

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imgoingtocrash · 3 years ago

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Made of Iron, Born of Fire: The Fanmix

by @imgoingtocrash

Listen on Spotify and 8tracks

Read the series on Ao3

AKA: A labor of love for @savvysass’s birthday!!!!

What can I say that hasn’t already been said because we’re both incredibly sappy people in our Author’s Notes? Writing this series with you has brought me so much joy in the last two years, and I never could have hit over 100k words without you. Here’s to whatever we write next in the series...and all of the WIPs we’re working on right now...and only god knows what’s next for us personally and professionally...and most importantly, to you on your Birthday. Thank you for being such a good friend, in both fandom and outside of it. I’m so, so thankful to know you and love you. 🥰

Director’s Cut Below, because we all know I love talking about this series, and yes, that does extend to why I picked these songs. (And also maybe because these song choices only make sense in my brain and hopefully Savannah’s?? Who knows! Feel free to ask questions if you want but let’s be honest this series and fanmix are most importantly for us, because we love the series so dang much.)

My Wildest Dreams by Ron Pope

I spoke in riddles and in rhymes, but my time with you has taught me to simplify, you’re not quite what I pictured you would be, you’re better than my wildest dreams.

We’ve talked about this one before, and I’LL TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN!!!! Ron Pope is so good imo, and this song wowowow the father-child feels, but especially with Tony and newborn Peter a la A Foreign Feeling and A First Time For Everything.

Big & Scared by Raleigh Ritchie

I want to be better for you, let me do that now, you’re my favorite human, so you should be prepared, I’ll help you get through it, when you’re big and scared

We’ve mentioned Tony’s thoughts about legacy multiple times by now, and I think this song really represents Tony looking forward to the person Peter could be become and that “breaking the cycle” mentality of supporting Peter even when he’s not a perfect father.

Legacy of Sadness by Ron Pope

irrational as it may seem I guess I’m sorry, even though I know that none of it’s my fault, it is easier for me to count my blessings, than to cry for every single thing we’ve lost

I have 0 shame putting these two songs by Ron Pope almost back to back because they’re the opening and closing of an album dedicated to his child like...it’s so perfect for Tony and this theme of reflection on who he is and who Peter will become/is becoming and all that entails.

this is me trying by Taylor Swift

They told me all of my cages were mental, so I got wasted like all my potential, and my words shoot to kill when I'm mad, I have a lot of regrets about that

I wrote something...very sad but also soft recently??? and this is for That it’s about pre-CW Pepperony being separated and the road to them trying to come back together including Tony working on himself and I love it!!! It hurts really good!!! This whole song is perfect for it and I can’t wait until people get to read it.

Be Good When I’m Gone by Four Year Strong

I'm sorry I can't stop to listen, but I've got so much to do and I've got some place to be, the house looks like the aftermath of a hurricane, I hope it stays that way

Tony being a busy parent but doing his best to make time for Peter in his life and making that time count has been something super important to illustrate to us, especially the transition from being a CEO to being a superhero and how that changes how Peter sees Tony’s absence over time.

I Won’t Back Down by Johnnyswim, Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors, and Penny and Sparrow

Tony puts on the original version by Tom Petty in Home Is Where The Heart Is, but I think this cover has a very slow, emotional undertone that’s really great too. The interludes, if you didn’t catch it, have all been featured in a fic previously.

Let It Matter by Johnnyswim

So if it matters let it matter, if your heart's breaking let it ache, catch those pieces as they scatter, know your hurt is not in vain

Pepper in Never Tell Me The Odds ALL DAYYYYY. She’s the emotional rock of that fic (and of our Ironfam TBH) and it’s all because she allows herself to feel her feelings and encourages the Stark boys to do so as well.

Simmer - Acoustic by Hayley Williams

And if my child, needed protection, from a fucker like that man, I’d sooner gut him, cause nothing cuts like a mother

Post-Home Is Where The Heart Is...y’all know Pepper’s not that mad about what happened to Obie. Also just Pepper when someone hurts her family?? I always write it as her sort of putting all of her emotion into something she can control and doing it well, so, this song is all about that.

Tightrope by Nia Hendricks

one step after another, keep holding on to each other, don’t look back, move on and let go, that’s how you walk on a tightrope

Pepperony trying to navigate their relationship and the insanity of superhero stuff and also co-parenting. It’s all excellent, I love them so much, I enjoy writing it so much!!!!

Dancing With Your Ghost by Sasha Sloan

Never got the chance, to say a last goodbye, I gotta move on, but it hurts to try, how do I love, how do I love again?

This song is tilted towards romance, but if you’ll remember, we’re a Pro-Tony Survives Endgame AU series, so it’s not about THAT...but well...Infinity War sure will hit something fierce for certain non-romantic relationships in this series, huh?

The Bones by Maren Morris

Call it dumb luck, but baby, you and I, can't even mess it up, although we both try, no, it don't always go the way we planned it, but the wolves came and went and we're still standing

Post-Endgame Ironfam!!! Tony and Pepper married with their kids, their family and HAPPY...THIS IS WHY WE DO ALL OF THE ANGST...FOR A FAMILY...WE LOVE THEM

Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas

Considered Pepper and Peter’s ‘song’, as it’s referenced multiple times in the series, and was one of the bigger solidifying moments of their mother-son relationship as a whole.

Mundane by Hardcastle

And I’ve been sinking into silence, dwelling on my thoughts, and in these months, I haven’t felt that most conversations have left me anything but blue

Peter’s selective mutism was something very special to us when we originally had the idea, and making sure we talk about it and utilize it in the right way is something we’re still working on, particularly with the Therapy Fic we’re brainstorming atm.

survivin’ (One Eyed Jack’s Session) by Bastille

What can I say? I'm survivin', crawling out these sheets to see another day, what can I say? I'm survivin', and I'm gonna be fine, I'm gonna be fine, I think I'll be fine

Spoiler Alert: Peter’s not fine, like, a decent amount of the time. But he’s sure trying, and we love him for that.

Jacob from the Bible by Jake Wesley Rogers

Mama, don't worry, it took me years, to say I'm sorry, to see your tears, Mama, forgive me, I grew up too fast, but it's not on you, it's in the past

Mostly part of Peter growing up to become a hero and realizing what his parents--particularly Pepper--have gone through for him to become the person he is today, but that sometimes he still doesn’t feel like he’s making them proud enough.

Compassion Is a German Word by To Kill A King

Don't be so arrogant, you ain't no different to anyone I've met, we're all the heroes in our own film, or maybe the villain in someone else's

Spider-Man being an excellent superhero boi!!! Being kind and good!!! We love it!! Also, I put a TKAK song on...a LOT of my playlists, because I think they’re great.

brutal by Olivia Rodrigo

And I'm so sick of seventeen, where's my fucking teenage dream?, if someone tells me one more time, "Enjoy your youth", I'm gonna cry

I mean...this song is such a Teenage Mood...I had to do it...

In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning by Frank Sinatra

So, I had this cute little scene in my head that went with this song for SO LONG but there wasn’t really anything for it to fit into so...yeah that’s part 2 of Savannah’s Birthday Gift, a little soft Baby Peter drabble. Fluffy Goop from top to bottom. That can be read here.

Home by Phillip Phillips

Just know you're not alone, 'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

...I know it’s not original, okay? It’s found family, it’s great, I don’t care!

Comes and Goes (In Waves) by Greg Laswell

And this part was for her, and this part was for her, this part was for her, does she remember?

This song is good family angst in general BUT these specific lyrics made me think of Mary and that they never forget her in their lives despite the other stuff going on (because we refuse to let them).

I Have Made Mistakes by The Oh Hellos

I have made mistakes, I continue to make them, the promises I've made, I continue to break them, and all the doubts I've faced, I continue to face them, but nothing is a waste if you learn from it

No one in the Ironfam is perfect, but they all do their best to try and grow even when they’re scared they’ll never be able to. The ups and downs are all par for the course of this series to us.

Easy Days - Demo by Bastille

Cause I don’t wanna fall back again, back into the easy days, everything was so simple then, little fires burned away

Strife is a part of life, and the family in this fic growing through their loss and struggles and moving ahead as a unit to get to a better place is super central to making the fic what it is...but it’s easy for them to remember the old days before being superheroes and wishing it was simple again.

North by Sleeping At Last

Let the years we’re here be kind, be kind, let our hearts like doors open wide, open wide, settle our bones like wood over time, over time, give us bread, give us salt, give us wine

The way Tony went from feeling so alone to having an entire built family that’s so full of love and everything he never dreamed of...*screams into my pillow* I love this series so much thank you and good night!!!

#made of iron born of fire #irondad #ironfam #fanmix #savvysass #this series just makes me burst with content i can't describe it #also doing the graphics was a fun experiment!!!#mine #mine: marvel

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la-paritalienne · 4 years ago

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Eve!!!! Need your thoughts about Taylor's album!!!! 💓💓💓💓💓💓

i love getting asked :”(((((( :”))))))) thank uuuuuuuu. let’s get to it. as usual, it’s an almost-first impression (normally i write my basic thoughts during the first listen – yeah i’d started doing it before getting this, you know, just in case – and then i review them w a second one, where i also select my favourite passage). sooo, let’s go

♡♡♡♡

the 1 — such sweet yet heartbreaking lyrics... very soft sound, if it sets the mood for the album im 100 per cent in! This one didn’t stick w me after one listen, but after the second i was like wooow! I love how she says waking up alone ughhh. 8

fave lyrics: persist and resist the temptation to ask you / if one thing had been different / would everything be different today?

cardigan — !!!!!!! the sound has that bittersweet something that gets under your skin and makes you nostalgic for something you can’t even pinpoint. it reminds me of the softest lana, especially in nfr (eg bartender!!). i’m in awe. instant obsession!!!! the ending takes you to another plane of existence – ‘cause i knew everything when i was young... i knew you’d miss me... you’d come back to me. also i’m crying. 10+

[it’s hard to choose bc the whole song reads like poetry but i’m especially obsessed w] giving me your weekends; once in twenty lifetimes; tried to change the ending / peter losing wendy; you drew stars around my scars

the last great american dynasty — storytelling on pointttt and sound, too! telling the story of someone she bought her house from?? the genius jumped out. she paints it like a romantic portrait, mad woman pacing on the shore, but then also gatsbian, the crazy parties, dali... and then takes it back to today w the key lime green dog, idk, iconic. i want to know this woman. this song truly takes you somewhere else, i thought it was a bit repetitive but then the bridge came in and the final vocals plus i had a marvelous time ruining everything, i have to stan! 8+

there goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen / she had a marvelous time ruining everything

exile — ok wow, bon iver’s voice is something else!!!! i was kind of ignorant when it came to him, i admit. his depth and rasp paired with how angelic she sounds... heavenly. sound-wise, but also thematically, this vaguely reminds me of tomorrow never came w lana and sean ono lennon. (one of my fave songs of all time maybe?). the way they enunciate i think i’ve seen this film before is literally a work of art all in itself, not to mention – well i’m mentioning it bc it’s worth it! – the you never gave a warning sign vs the way she goes over it w i gave so many signs. god this makes me feel sooooo sad and like, involved. it’s so beautiful. 10

you’re not my homeland anymore / so what am i defending now?

my tears ricochet — ok wtfffff??? everything about this speaks to my soul. the airy voice, the way she sets the scene... sunlit room, the funeral metaphor, you turned into your worst fears. i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace speaks to me more than anything, but just, everything about the lyrics. truly something else, cursing my name / wishing i stayed gives me chills everytime she says it. the beat that gets more insistent towards the end, with the bridge....... the high notes that then fade..... just wow. 10

and i can go anywhere i want / anywhere i want, just not home / and you can aim for my heart, go for blood / but you would still miss me in your bones / and i still talk to you when i’m screaming at the sky / and when you can’t sleep at night you hear my stolen lullabies

mirrorball — love the lyrics, maybe a bit less the sound? i mean i do love the sound, so far i’m loving how softly produced and coherent this album is, but this one i wouldn’t listen to on repeat and maybe there’s something a bit whiny that i don’t love. powerful meaning tho, and who’d use a mirrorball as a metaphor for feeling like you’re fragile, trying too hard to be a people-pleaser and no one sees the real you? 7

i’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me

seven — ah........ i started crying as soon as this one started, pleeease picture me in the trees, i hit my peak at seven....... like ok there’s no need to go that hard??? it’s so dreamy and like... naïf? in a perfect way. the way she says i still got love for you...... and everything else... she mentions folk songs... the purest love described in the purest way. i don’t think i have enough words to descrive the way this song moves me. like i want to listen to it again and again, to be able to feel like that again, but also i’m almost scared to listen bc it touches me too deeply. i still will tho hehe. 10+ (also just realised this is track 7 ok makes sense but my mind is blown. 100)

[this is literally deeper than a shakespeare sonnet so everything literally is my fave but, having to choose] and i’ve been meaning to tell you / i think your house is haunted / your dad is always mad and that must be why / and i think you should come live with me / and we can be pirates / then you won’t have to cry / or hide in the closet / and just like a folk song / our love will be passed on

august — i love the contrast between the lighthearted, happy singing and guitars and the sad lyrics. the story it tells is so simple and yet there’s so much poetry in that... plus it reminds me of fearless or even speak now?? which are like. the taylor that gets to my heart, tbh. the bridge and the outro made the song for me. 8,5

for me, it was enough / to live for the hope of it all / canceled plans just in case you’d call

this is me trying — oh god... lyrically this song is so raw and honest, it gives me chills! i do have to say, i don’t love how she says i just wanted to know (like metrically?? idk, im weird) but these are really just small comments on amazing songs, bc i feel like all i’m saying is wow this is great, lyrics and sound, but it truly is a complete and consistent work of art, easily listened to top to bottom each time. 8-

they told me all of my cages were mental / so got wasted like all my potential / and my words shoot to kill when i’m mad / i have a lot of regrets about that

illicit affairs — ok this goes without saying but i love storyteller taylor, it’s the taylor i grew up loving and singing to in my room. the thing about most of these songs, this one included, is that they probably grow on you after a few listens, bc they’re not made to be catchy, the production and backgrounds are always very soft and some i love more than others. this one musically maybe isn’t my fave but the narration is on point, and the bridge?? the fuckkkk. plus it has one of mt favourite themes ever which is so rarely spoken about, which is the fact that language you only speak w a particular someone you love, makes you miss them even more when they’re gone. or well not exactly this but i can’t put it into words, she did tho. 8+

you taught me a secret language i can’t speak with anyone else / and you know damn well / for you, i would ruin myself / a million little times

invisible string — the color theme!!! the guitar strumming!!! and the idea of an invisible tie w someone special... i do think she outdid herself w this album. again, not my fave soundwise, maybe slightly whiny when she goes meEeeEee? but, lyrically adorable and moving. 7,5

one single thread of gold / tied me to you

mad woman — maam...... this is iconic shit........ how could she say stuff like this w such a dreamy, breathy voice. musically i get huuuge lana’a nfr vibes again (which i mean. goals) but i also adore that lyrically it’s so taylor, no one would say this shit the way she does. adore how she sings to wrap your news around and bonus for women like hunting witches too, i do love me a nod to the fact that some women are so deeply filled w machism that they’re basically men in disguise. 8,5

every time you call me crazy, i get more crazy / what about that? / and when you say i seem angry, i get more angry [isn’t this just womanhood condensed in a few lines]

epiphany — aw! it sounds like a lullaby, maybe it’s slightly ‘boring’ for my taste? meaning i get distracted which is surely a shame bc the words seem beautiful, but it’s so soft i just drift off? but reading the lyrics – for focus hehe – i’m moved. 7+

only twenty minutes to sleep / but you dream of some epiphany / just one single glimpse of relief / to make some sense of what you’ve seen

betty — okay byeeeeeeeeee. this is taylor at her finest! countryyyyyyyy, storytelling, lesbian jdjdfk no yeah I know I knowww, romance went sour. gut wrenching and beautiful, this feels like... watching a sad teen movie but w a sepia filter, idk. i dreamt of you all summer long oh my......... it’s like og taylor from her iconic first couple of albums came back but w all her baggage and growth and experience and better than ever. also why does taylor sing so wel about being in love w a woman????? well. 10+

betty, right now is the last time / i can dream about what happens when / you see my face again

peace — ..........yes yes yes. the high notes, the honesty, the syncopated parts where she says so much so quick and yet it still hits you. it’s not even a short song but it ends too soon, it goes by like that..... a poem. omg it just hit me this has flo vibes! especially from high as hope, for example grace or south london forever?? i mean... taylor doing alt folk country pop...... queen. give you my wild, give you a child?? ok ok. 10

all these people think love’s for show / but i would die for you in secret

hoax — weeeell the lana inspo jumped out w that piano!!!!! and like. mood. and lyrics...... this reminds me of wuthering heights or of lana’s tormented love stories (shades of blue.....). a powerful closer. poetry. 9

i am ash from your fire

♡♡♡♡

okkkkk this was a flattering review, very well deserved imo since the review is mine gjgjhkhk i agree w myself. thank you again and as i always say, feel free to come back w your comments! and have a great dayyyyy! much love

#taylor swift #folklore #also bonus points for the title #fave ever from her #10 #should i tag my reviews #(i think this has now become the tag)

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kittiwuvs · 5 years ago

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♡ gunna be long, wanna tell u guys about miiiii ♡

♡ sippy cup or baby bottle ? sippy cup ! i’m big kid <3

♡ favorite disney princess? if you asked me today, i couldn’t choose, they all have their own charm! but when i was little it was cinderella, because i looked like her LOL

♡ cute straws or drinking from the cup? gimme cute straw >:3

♡ do you have a bedtime? i don’t ! i’ll admit i’m a little spoiled ~

♡ onesies or dresses? i prefer dresses on a day-to-day basis, but onsies if i’m feeling sleepy!

♡ what’s the name of your favorite plushie? bun bun, she’s a BIIIIIG bunny :D

♡ pastel colors or neon colors? i like pastel colors more, i’m rarely a fan of neon colors tbh ;w;

♡ do you have a carer? yes i do :3 platonic thooooo

♡ regressing on your own on or with friends/carer? they’re both fun, sometimes having a little me time when i’m smol is nice, most of the time with friends or carer tho !

♡ what’s your favorite baby/kid item? dolls or coloring books, i love to be creative

♡ overalls or skirts? skIRTS, never speak of overalls in my presence again djskajlfla

♡ do you wear diapers? noooo >> do pull ups count ?

♡ milk or juice? milkie :3

♡ do you like bathtime? gasp! whO DOESNT! except when i have to shave my legs, then i will avoid the bath as long as possible

♡ stuffed animals or dolls? don’t make me choose !

♡ do you believe in fairies? yes :3 i don’t think they are on this planet necessarily but they’ve gotta exist somewhere right? plus i am one DUH

♡ dinos or astronauts? wait do i believe in dinos and astronauts ? o.o

♡ what’s your favorite animal? jaklljsdjf i really love big cats.. like tigers, lions ! always have, they are just sooooo pretty

♡ thigh highs or frilly socks? wah- ur gonna... make me,,, i refuse !

♡ what’s your regressed age (range)? 4-6 mostly ! :3 sometimes i’d say like 7 ?

♡ strawberry milk or chocolate milk? can i has regular milk pwease

♡ do you use pacifiers? yeeeeeeees <pretend i sang that

♡ amusement park or build-a-bear? never been to build-a-bear sO amusement park, i like buying the pre-made babies :3

♡ do you have a baby voice? absolutely haha! and i think it’s hecking adorable >:3

♡ bratty or calm? depends on the dayyyyy.. and what my friends are encouraging me to do /)w(\

♡ do you like play-dates? yes ! i’ve only had great experiences with them! i just recommend you do it with people you’re comfy with :3 dats what i did heh

♡ dependent or independent when regressed? D E P E N D E N T

♡ what is all the agere stuff you have? o boy, pacis, pull ups, hair accessories, two toy boxes full to the BRIM, blankies, coloring books... there’s more, i have an obsession owo

♡ dress up or tea party? AH combine them ? >:3 dress up FOR the tea party mwahahah~

♡ what is your favorite dessert? O: hmmm... i think it would depend on the day? today i’m feeling cookies.. like freshly baked ones mmmm~

♡ anime or cartoons? cartoons!

♡ what is your favorite bedtime story? the rainbow fish :] nostalgia be like

♡ are you a prince(ss/t)? i think that’s what i’d call myself sometimes! my baby brain is definitely like a lil princess sometimes, i’m v spoiled ;w; i’m lucky to be <3

♡ pacifier or thumb? paci ! but thumb is nice too hehe

♡ do you have coloring books? yes, precisely one million

♡ crayons or markers? neither! i like colored pencils the best so i can add details to my coloring pages =D

♡ how different is regressed you from big you? not very tbh LOL not sure how it happened but i never truly grew up at heart ):

♡ my little pony or paw patrol? my little ponyyyy, my little ponyyy, la la laa la la la la ! :3

♡ favorite carebear? owo don’t hurt me... i haven’t watched carebears since i was young aH

♡ pink or black? pink babiiiii

♡ do you have rules? technically... are they enforced ? absolutely not :3

♡ twin tails or braids? TWIN TAILS!

♡ do you also pet regress? i do pet regress ! i like pet regressing as a kitty cat, a puppy, and sometimes a fox kit owo hehe

♡ mary janes or sneakers? what does this mEaN

♡ do you throw a lot of tantrums? o-o maybe.. who told u, huh ?!

♡ winter or summer? summer, winter makes my toes and fingies cold ): summer u can go to da beach and build sand castles !!

♡ how would your perfect blanket fort be? one room, fairy lights, and all my stuffies cuddled up underneath it with me owo

♡ spring or autumn? they’re both so great ;w; buuuuut spring cause da flowers and butterflies hehe

♡ are you also a carer? i’ve tried babysitting other littles for a period of time, but not currently long term :3 i’m babi too often hehe, we’d just run around making a mess of things !

♡ apple or orange juice? usually apple, but i’m feeling orange juice right now o.o

{ template from @childre , thanks for the fun questions! hehe <3 }

#agere #sfw little blog #sfw little stuff #sfw agere #sfw #agere blog #safe agere #Age Regression #petre #little space #soft asks

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tumblunni · 6 years ago

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Aaaa phewf a good but scary dayyyyy

I totally forgot i was due for a meeting with the Super Rehab Center For Brain Bads. Its like this intensive boot camp version of therapy, basically? Its a shared housing accommodation where you'd have individual nurses and do lots of lessons and classes every day to work on your particular needs, while also having a bit of a shared community and helping you ykbow meet other people like you and such? So its very scary but also could be really good for me but also its a big commitment and aaaa

Anyway you might recall i talked about this like a year ago and as far as i knew it wasnt actually an opyion for me and i'd got my hopes up/got my anxieties up all fot nothing. Well recently they just suddenly called me back and gave us this short notice appointment! I didnt even khnow i was on the waiting list!!

So yeah it was Big Anxious to go to a big meeting with them again and with different people and a more intense assesment and discussion of the possibilities. But also now i was worried cos i didnt know anymore of i should be here? Like they originally booked me in for this because was in a REALLY bad place mentally last year, like never going outsode for weeks and never cleaning the house and not taking my pills and not going to dpctors appointments and i was just desperate to do ANYTHING that could get me out of this shitty town even if it meant living in an intensive therapy hospital communal dorm thing for a year. And now i've improved quite a bit so i dont know if maybe i was worrying too much and this is something too drastic? Like man is this for people with more serious problems? Am i taking away resources that could be helping someone more ill than me? And also i never even started getting anxious about the size of thecommitment last time, i was just desperate to move house and i didnt even tgink about how i have to survive a year of extra anxiety to fight my anxiety...

So anyway we had that meeting today and i was so freaked the fuck out that as we speak right now i cannot actually fully see and im mostly touch typing. I had so much of a panic attack that i hit off the damn eye twitching dizziness super symptom hell and i nearly fainted when i had to stand up at the end of the meeting and walk out the door. Like holy shit so much adrenaline burning thru my braaaaaainnnn!!! Im gonna be exhausted in a minute i bet. But i'm extra proud of myself cos my new support worker richard said that it didnt show on my face how much i was panicking, i successfully managed to keep that anxiety attack under control and finish yhe conversation with grace! And he also said its no trouble when i ask him for help and stuff cos its not just his job but a job he loves, and he was happy to spend the day this way, knowing he helped someone like me through someyhinh so important. HE'S THE FUCKIN NICEST MAN EVER

also incidentally i also learned he's a SURPRISE GRANDPA?? Like not really, i mean he's more in the older adult range, but he just dropped it casually in conversation that he's 50 and i thought he was like 28?? I mean i have prosopagnosia so i suck at recognising facial expressions but i think even normal peopke would agree he looks hella young! Thats awesome he's even more smart and experienced than i thought!! No wonder he's been so amazing at his job! And he's extra awesome for how he's a dj if he didnt grow up as surrounded by computers and stuff, yknow?

ALSO A RELATED FACT:HE JUST CASUALLY DROPPED THAT HE'S A DJ

He has a fuckin 'sound room' in his house with 'a million microphones' and he brought it up cos i was sayibg about how i wanted to learn video editing and stuff and he said he can give me a free microphone from one of his spares! Damn i need to find a way to pay him back cps he won't take actual money for it, aaaa!! And also hehelped me remember the name of that one animation software i wanted to get someday, and he offered to teach me all his Super Secrets Of Getting Free Samples And Cheatibg The Time Limit. Like man u literally work for the government are u sure u should be sayin this? XD and i didnt actually say it was lets plays but i said i wanted to practise recording my voice to show my friends in other countries and help get less anxious. And then he started talking about podcasts so man for all i know maybe he watches lets plays too! He's gonba reccommend me some educational podcasts about science abd mental health and stuff :D

So yeah it all went way better than expected and i even got an odd chance to get to know my therapist on a more personal level and get some nice help with my hobbies! Also he's the only other person i've ever met who uses Paint Shop Pro 7! A friggin 1999 art software that i still keep cos im too dumb to learn a new one aaaaa. He validated me by agreeing that its very conveinient and comparatively newbie friendly, yes! But its having incompatibility issues since windows 10 came out so aaa i know eventualky i need to learn a new thing lol

Man my sypport worker is so damn awesome and its so rare i acconplish a good thing and have a good day and dont lose to my anxiety! I jus lt wish i wasnt still experiencing the horrible side effects of that anxiety lol. Typing this up helped distract me for long enough for my vision to clear up a bit but now my headache is extreme! I hate that pills take like an hour to kick in.

Man maybe i should order a takeaway pizza or somethin?? To celebrate not fuckin up at a chance to improve my mental health! And also cos its hard to cook things when you have no functioning eyeballs!

#bunn brain #im gonna use that as my tag for negative talk about by anxieties and day to day life stuff frkm now on

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news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog · 7 years ago

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Tennis fans queuing all night for Wimbledon opening is ridiculously British

Today marks the start of the Wimbledon 2017 Championships and these tennis fans really don't mess around.

SEE ALSO: This symmetrical supercut of the London Underground is dizzyingly beautiful

Spectators began arriving at the stadium the day before. Some waited for over twelve hours for a chance to snag a ticket. They lined up in a very orderly fashion and were given a number and queue card. These super fans queued and waited with a patience and order that is uniquely British.

Approaching the 13hr mark in the #WimbledonQueue and we finally have our Q cards! Numbers 232,233 & 234 - Centre Court baby!! #Wimbledon2017 pic.twitter.com/Ia8IQPhUNK

— tom jakeman (@tomjakeman) July 2, 2017

They camped out in tents and waited all night.

They stuck it out through the rain and even got a rainbow.

WIMBLEDOOONNNN DAYYYYY YESSSSSSSS 🌱💪🏼🎾 Best two weeks of the year ... shame about the rain the queue already @Wimbledon 😒 pic.twitter.com/mBfe8l07AJ

— Liam Petch (@liampetch_) July 3, 2017

Number 3,460 in the queue. #Wimbledon pic.twitter.com/aPDDkm567C

— TennisPilot (@TennisPilot) July 3, 2017

The guy who was first in line got there at 1.30am.

1st in the #Wimbledon queue. Des has been here since 1.30am Saturday, but says he's not really a big tennis fan. #Britslovequeues @bbc5live pic.twitter.com/Wi3IypebM6

— Lucy Grey (@lucyEgrey) July 3, 2017

Patience is a virtue and these tennis fans have got it in spades.

WATCH: This man just casually flew around London in a jetpack he invented

#_author:April Hautea #_uuid:b70f8ebd-3273-368e-ac7a-491a9900df24 #_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL #_revsp:news.mashable

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zeeeeee-sh · 8 years ago

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Jan/Feb in bullet points

OMG WHAAAT I’M DOING ONE OF THESEEEE

LAST TIME I DID ONE WAS IN NOVEMBER I THINK! I have a minute tonight so here we go (most likely won’t be in order):

● Last night was our Afghanistan dinner and it was honestly the BEST, today all day I was having event withdrawals lol. It was so much fun with everyone, everything [mostly] went smoothly, and no major issues with seatings and guests. We just didn’t get a childcare room so that was the biggest thing. Other than that it was all good, after the event we did a little get together/bon voyage for a volunteer/intern who’s been with ir for few years! Going to miss her, we just started getting close and now she’s off :(

● I’m one of the heads for msu’s college dayyyyy! APRIL 22ND 2017, just about two months iA. So excited, so far going well. my only concern is transportation. i’m worried with that and have heard horror stories dealing with it so LET’S HOPE ALL GOES WELL WITH THAT, everything else shouldn’t be an issue iA, not worried. SubhanAllah thought i remember when i was in 10th grade and attended an msu college day and i remembered that I was FREAKED OUT bc I wouldn’t get into the school bc you needed some ridiculous high GPA. Look - 4 yrs later and I’m behind it!

● Classes are going well aH, taking all soc classes this quarter. My stats sequence class, a lower and upper div soc class, and a required research class. The research class is so boring and i hate the TA but it’s not too bad. My topic is studying abroad and students of color, I’m studying trends between that and what are the reasons that POC students have low rates for studying abroad. It’s week 8 this week, 3 MORE WEEEEEKS. Thank God, i’m about done with these classes lol. I love my soc 176 class, it’s called International Cities Divided. Love the professor and the papers are not too bad. My papers have been about Karachi, that was the city I chose to explore this quarter, so it’s been interesting.

● I’m really torn between my 3 yr or 4 yr program. If i want to graduate in 3 years (meaning next june 2018) I need to take summer classes this year. Which I don’t mind. OR, should i take it slow and stay a 4th yr? Depends on the IR position too and what I have going. Should I just stay a 4th yr and take it easy the last yr, like 12 units per quarter?? i honestly don’t know and it kinda depends on this IR position as well.

● Speaking of, I have an interview with the IR DC headquarters this Wednesday. I think my plan to graduate in 3 or 4 years all depends on this. Right?? Let’s say I don’t get it, then I SHOULD just stay in school for an extra yr. BUT I HATEE SCHOOL and feel like I could be interning or something. I have to decide by this month bc I need to enroll in summer classes if I decide 3 years. I MUST take 2 summer classes. I feel like the most important decision of my life has to be made by the end of this month ahaha. I honestly don’t know. Usually, I know what I want and what to decide, but not regarding this. My parents are okay with either, so it’s literally just up to me. HELPPPPP

● Duas for @omami91 needed bc, well, she needs it~ May it all work out for the best.

● One more month til spring break, and also one month til our next event, it’s for Syria iA. ALSO, I got tickets to see Vidya Vox and Arjun (honestly, who is this guy?? he probably sucks im just going for Vidya) on April 9th!! So excited! And on april 1st i got myself into volunteering at a cair event in the VALLEYYY omg, should be fun though! then college day April 22nd. Busy few months. I just hope I get all the classes i need/want when my window opens, then I’ll have a better sense of what my schedule will be like April.

● So BADRINATH KI DULHANIA is coming out next week, YESSS so excited. I watched dear zindagi the other day too, ugh i didn’t like it, I just liked aditiya roy kapur’s [ark]5 minute part at end lol. Raees sucked too, but Ok Jannu was good. OFCOURSE BC of ARK lol

Thanks for reading if you did, and here’s til the next time I get around to doing one of these....

Zulakha xx

#twibp #i need to continue doing these

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shadowinacorner · 8 years ago

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Bored, so why not!

Lets see if I can answer these. 1: Name Mandy

2: Age 26

3: 3 Fears Spiders Burning alive Bungee jumping

4: 3 things I love Food Accomplishing something productive Sleep

5: 4 turns on Assertiveness Kindness Sense of humor Forwardness

6: 4 turns off Rudeness Narcissism Bad habits Excessive negativity

7: My best friend My buddy Allison

8: Sexual orientation Not big on labels. Bi I guess is a good umbrella term.

9: My best first date Winter formal in ‘05

10: How tall am I I’d say 5'10. I think I technically have been deemed to be 5'7 though.

11: What do I miss Being taken care of as a kid.

12: What time was I born 9am ish I think?

13: Favourite color Purple or black

14: Do I have a crush He’s pretty cute

15: Favourite quote The bird on your shoulder quote from tuesdays with maurie

16: Favourite place My living room (don’t you judge me)

17: Favourite food Pizza

18: Do I use sarcasm Never, who would do such a thing?

19: What am I listening to right now Assasination Classroom

20: First thing I notice in new person Jewelry

21: Shoe size 10.5/11 womens or 9 mens

22: Eye color Brown

23: Hair color Brown. I change it alot and right now it’s got some pink.

24: Favourite style of clothing Modern kinda urbany or punky I guess?

25: Ever done a prank call? Nah. Not my style.

27: Meaning behind my URL Nothing deep

28: Favourite movie Harry Potter I guess

29: Favourite song To the moon and back by Savage Garden

30: Favourite band I couldn’t tell you honestly. I like too many.

31: How I feel right now Tired and unaccomplished

32: Someone I love Mr. Leo Bunny

33: My current relationship status Married

34: My relationship with my parents Strained and unconventional

35: Favourite holiday Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have I have 2 piercings in each ear and 1 cartilage. Also a small tattoo on my upper back.

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I always wanted a eyebrow piercing and the really dainty bullrings are cool. I’d also love to have full sleeves of tattoos but I’ll probably never get another of either.

38: The reason I joined Tumblr My hubby got obsessed with it.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? Nah, he’s a cool dude and finally forgave me for being a terrible child when I was with him.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Definitely always get good morning ones since we get up at different times.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Definitely not. Keagan is probably onr of the few I haven’t actually.

42: When did I last hold hands? Last time Marku and I went to the store I’m sure.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? No makeup: 5 minutes from bed to car. With basic full makeup a solid half hour. With going out makeup and clothes like 2 hours.

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Yes! Actually.

45: Where am I right now? Laying in Marku’s bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Definitely Marku. He usually camps in the bathtub and sets me up on the floor by the toilet.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Too loud. Always.

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Nopppeeeeee

49: Am I excited for anything? Someday we’re going to travel!

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Definitely Marku.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Everyyyy dayyyyy. Customer service at it’s finest.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Earlier today I hugged Keagan, Angie, AND Mark. So many hugs!

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? He might have some ‘splanin to do

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Hmm, yeah probably a couple family members.

55: What is something I disliked about today? I woke up late and didn’t accomplish much

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? I have no idea… maybe bernie?

57: What do I think about most? What I’m doing wrong

58: What’s my strangest talent? Noticing small details (but only when I’m trying. Otherwise I’m oblivious to my surroundings)

59: Do I have any strange phobias? Chalkboards. They freak me out and I can’t touch them.

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind!!!

61: What was the last lie I told? “You don’t have to do that, I can pay for it”

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Neither. But phone if it’s between the too.

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I half believe in ghosts, aliens seem probable but not little green guys.

64: Do I believe in magic? I wishhhhhhh

65: Do I believe in luck? Kinda actually.

66: What’s the weather like right now? Kinda nice actually! Wet but mild.

67: What was the last book I’ve read? Kane chronicals

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Mildly

69: Do I have any nicknames? Mandoo

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I accidentally cut a large chunk out of my ankle when i was a teenager… otherwise no broken bones or anything.

71: Do I spend money or save it? I have a spending problem.

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? No :(

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? My pj pants

74: Favourite animal? Kitties!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Playing on my phone and watching netflix

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I think Satan /is/ his last name lol

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Uh… something pop-y I’m sure.

78: How can you win my heart? Food.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? That I was super nice!

80: What is my favorite word? Totes

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr That I posted? None. I have like no followers that aren’t porn bots.

82: If the whole world was listening to me right now, what would I say? Let’s just all get along

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not currently

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Shapeshifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Depends on who is asking it.

86: What is my current desktop picture? The inside of a midevilish zeldaish tent with a woman lying in the bed.

87: Had sex? Yeap

88: Bought condoms? Yeah. Still awkward no matter how old you get for some reason.

89: Gotten pregnant? Nope

90: Failed a class? Yeah

91: Kissed a boy? A few

92: Kissed a girl? A few

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Not dramatically

94: Had job? For years

95: Left the house without my wallet? Just yesterday

96: Bullied someone on the internet? Nah, not my jam.

97: Had sex in public? Nah

98: Played on a sports team? Plenty of them

99: Smoked weed? Nope, not on my list

100: Did drugs? Never have, never will

101: Smoked cigarettes? Nope, terrible habbit

102: Drank alcohol? On occasion

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Not anymore

104: Been overweight? I am morbidly obese technically atm

105: Been underweight? Once

106: Been to a wedding? A few

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Jesus, is that suppose to be a long time?

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Every weekend

109: Been outside my home country? Nope

110: Gotten my heart broken? Once

111: Been to a professional sports game? Big leagues, no. Minor, yea.

112: Broken a bone? Nope

113: Cut myself? Yea

114: Been to prom? Yeap, twice

115: Been in airplane? Twice

116: Fly by helicopter? Once

117: What concerts have I been to? Hinder, buckcherry, paproach, death cab for cutie

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Yea

119: Learned another language? Started japanese, never went very far

120: Wore make up? Pretty normally

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? At 18 I think

122: Had oral sex? Yea

123: Dyed my hair? Alot

124: Voted in a presidential election? Every year

125: Rode in an ambulance? Sat in one, refused the ride

126: Had a surgery? Just wisdom teeth

127: Met someone famous? Voice actors, and there was a famous guy staying at our wedding hotel that I rode the elevator with. I always forget his name.

128: Stalked someone on a social network? Mildly

129: Peed outside? Ya, camping

130: Been fishing? Mmhm

131: Helped with charity? I actually don’t think so. I’ve donated before.

132: Been rejected by a crush? Never got myself to be in the position to be rejected

133: Broken a mirror? Yeahhh

134: What do I want for your birthday? Yummy food

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 1-3 & no clue

136: Was I named after anyone? A barry manilow song

137: Do I like my handwriting? No i hate it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? Barbies

139: Favourite Tv Show? I don’t have any active shows atm

140: Where do I want to live when older? Back in my family home

141: Play any musical instrument? I’m not musically inclined in any way

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? Have an L on my finger from slaming and locking my finger in the car door as a kid. I was stuck there for a while.

143: Favourite pizza toping? Sausage

144: Am I afraid of the dark? Nah

145: Am I afraid of heights? A little

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Nope

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Plentybof times

148: What I’m really bad at Doing anything consistently

149: What my greatest achievments are Graduating college

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me There would be a list.

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery Buy out my family home, remodel, set up my inlaws and grandma for life, get a working car, change jobs, and if I had enough I’d set up my parents and college funds too.

152: What do I like about myself My hair

153: My closest Tumblr friend I have some of my best friends irl on here

154: Something I fantasise about Being a normal person

This is way too long. I’m not tagging anyone and bringing this onto them. Yeesh.

#questionaire #personal #long #questions

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justtogetthisout · 6 years ago

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4 days until exam

and day 6 of my T-break.

I feel like i’ve roughly covered everything I need to cover, to the point where none of the material is unfamiliar to me. I just need to reinforce how to approach every kind of problem. and that means doing a shit-ton of practice problems.

I’ve been working my ass off this past week. Trying to go the extra mile. Today i didn’t really do that. I woke up, went to work, came back, ate lunch, took a goddamn nap because I’ve been exerting myself all week. When i woke up i made dinner, cleaned my entire room, and put on netflix. I’m gonna wash my face etc after i write this. it’s hard because i feel guilty every moment i’m not studying, but honestly, i needed to care for my living space and my body. My environment needed some TLC, cause god knows that when i’m grinding i get neglectful. my life has just been school, work, school, work. Tomorrow i’m gonna vacuum and laundry. oh shit, i also need to buy a gift for dyl’s secret santa.

But tomorrow I have allllll dayyyyy off, and I’m gonna wake up early, go for a run prob, have breakfast, then sit down and study my fucking ass off.

It’s funny. I never thought that taking a T-break would be this easy. Why did I think it would be hard? This gives me confidence in my ability to quit any time i want to, because I know at some point for medical school I’m gonna need to drug test. that’ll suck. but worth it.

the only time it’s difficult is when my dad makes me upset, or when i’m trippin over something. or when it’s late and i’m not particularly tired enough to go to sleep, like tonight (prob cause i napped tbh damn lol.) i was really tempted to tonight but i’m not gonna. tryna get into the habit of keeping the commitments i make to myself. i said i was gonna be sober from drugs, alcohol, sex, and my social life until after my final. and i’m sticking to it. brain first. smarts first. future first.

i’m so anxious about this exam that i’m having stress dreams about it. the other night i dreamt that quinn invited me to hang out and party w her neighbors and, even though i knew i had to study, i went out with her anyway. but in the dream i couldn’t really enjoy myself because i had that guilty feeling in my stomach since i broke my promise to myself, and wasn’t being responsible and studying. i woke up and breathed a huge sigh of relief. thank god it was just a dream. hopefully my run tomorrow will lower my cortisone levels a bit and help my focus more.

gonna make a schedule of what i’ll do tomorrow in my journal.

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gendermesenpai-blog · 7 years ago

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8:06am

I’m scheduled to work late today so I have some time. Just got out the shower, sitting at the computer with my hair wrapped in a towel. Stoned already. Because I smoke before work every morning. Not sure if I mentioned that anywhere on here before. I get high every morning and then ride a bike really fast in traffic. Often against traffic. I am not a smart girl.

Anyway, random dick feminine penis related thoughts because that’s necessary, right? I realized I’ve been letting my pubic hair grow long for a while to avoid looking at it. I remembered that when I was a little child I used to push it into my pelvis like I was trying to put it back inside my body. It was like an absent-minded thing I used to do, like I was playing almost. Not like I was angrily trying to shove it in there or whatever. I’ve been noticing it shrinking which is great. I think it’s called genital atrophy or something like that. No more morning wood. Urinating feels kinda different and weird now, I guess since I never get the random pee erections. Ok dick talk concluded.

me @ 10pm last night realizing i am an hour and a half late for my dose bc i was at r's making trap music: *looks at half eaten bowl of fruit loops* *looks at pill organizer* *thinks about how long estradiol takes to dissolve* *sadly pours more fruit loops in the bowl*

me@ 10:18pm after finishing the fruit loops:

Bonus pic of my pill organizer sitting on the back of a box of Honeycombs:

So this most recent song is actually like pretty fucking good I think. I know I said that about the other ones but seriously. It’s the first one I tried singing on and I’m pretty sure I killed it. I have a shitty version with bad vocals, I did a couple takes at R’s house before we had even smoked and then never went back over them to see what needed work. I need to go back to R’s and fix it. Because he still has my mic. It’s funny because I’m pretty sure my closet would actually be really good as a booth. Now that J’s stuff is out of there I could probably set it up in a day. I just need to either take that mic back for a while or buy a better one. Considering a lot of bars from the takes I did were ruined by the mic clipping out I am thinking I should probably just buy a new one. It’s a big investment though and if I decide to quit or I feel awkward about singing in my closet or whatever I’m gonna feel dumb about it.

8:24 now. Hair’s dry. Weather doesn’t look bad today, just 30s to 40s and cloudy.

Valentine’s is coming up. It’s going to be absolutely insane. Last year we had around 300 flowers. This year we have like 520 or something. I think we have fewer bikers too. Fewer bikers but more cars, something like that. It’s still going to be insane. I am going to have to push hard as fuck to make a dent in those numbers.

Last year I did 30 and it was one of my first days working in this city. So I have to at least do more than that. I think I was doing sets of 5 or 6. This year I want to try doing like 8. So that would mean I would beat my old record in only 4 sets. They are talking about giving us front racks too, those of us who aren’t on the cargo bikes. The more I can carry at once the better. I think this is the only possible way I can make up for the loss in speed and power.

I cannot let a busy day like Valentine’s be the day I get called out on taking my time. It’s possible they might think it’s just because we’ve been so slow recently that I haven’t been riding as much so I’m getting out of shape or whatever. But they also might think I am fucking around or being stupid and making mistakes. None of that is good so what I want is to just destroy the numbers and have everyone be like oh shit that’s how it’s fucking done. Messengers, we are a stupid but prideful people. Primarily alcoholics and deadbeats. But on Valentine’s and Mother’s Day we balance out the people we pissed off throughout the year by making a few hundred smile. It’s a small gesture.

Oh, and I’m super poor right now. I have $30 lol. Still waiting on that tax return to come in. Valentine’s is on Wednesday and I don’t get my regular check until that Friday so I’m fucked basically whoo. An entire 7 days on $30. Don’t pity me though, I bought a lot of stupid shit on the internet. I brought this on myself. This weekend I may try doing some Uber runs since they finally approved me for Uber Eats. Guess I’ll see what that’s all about. Not really looking forward to it though. I despise Uber as a company and I despise delivering food. Especially fountain drinks. Dear god please no fountain drinks. If it helps me make $20 or whatever off 1 or 2 runs so I can go eat or buy some weed that would be nice I guess.

I am so fuuuuuckkkeddddddd ugh

I should probably get dressed now. Time to gooooo greeet the dayyyyy

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