#today is one of those
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#today is one of those#if I was dead everyone else would be better off#kind of days#😔#i’m such an idiot#I may be away for awhile idk I’m not OK
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oh this is going to be a fun movie
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Hey now, Let her cook!
#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#senshi#laios touden#marcille donato#izutsumi#oyasumi punpun#<- In case you are wondering what the source for the little bird guy is.#Yeah that's right. I'm back to my extremely obscure crossover BS.#Punpun is one of those series that falls under the category of 'Good! but I cannot responsibly recommend this to anyone."#If Dungeon Meshi is like a friend asking you to go on a quick errand and you accidently go on a life changing roadtrip -#Punpun is your friend asking to go on a quick errand and they pull up to the vet and tell you your dog is being put down.#Then they explode into sludge. Melting your car. You hitchhike back but the person who picked you up is an axe murderer.#I could not finish it. My friends who did say it was good. But agree it was for the best I did not finish it.#Hey speaking of tone twists...We are one episode away from one of my favourite chapters being animated!#WHO'S READY FOR THE SENSHI BACKSTORY! WHO IS READY TO CRY!#ME! I AM! I spooked my flatmate with how energetic I was this morning. I'm vibrating with energy I was not designed to contain.#I should talk about today's episode here: It was very good. I love how they animated the familiars.#And!!! Anime only people now are in the loop on the Chilchuck lore. Part 1 of many. He still contains multitudes.#They all do to be honest! If this episode told us anything it was that we still don't know these characters as well as we think!#See you guys next week. I'll be inconsolable.
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please consider how you engage with aaron bushnell's death. you may react to it as you will, but it's crucial to remember that his death was specifically a call to action. it was not meant solely to shock but to draw attention to a vast moral hypocrisy: that to many, a soldier dying in a campaign backed by the U.S. government is noble, even if the soldier kills innocents to do so, even if the cause is morally bankrupt--but this? this is insanity. a man taking his own life, on his own terms, in an attempt to help others while hurting nobody else, is somehow less rational and more horrifying than the mass killing of civilians.
of course aaron's death was horrific. but as he said beforehand, it is realistically no more horrific than what's happening in gaza. if we can't stomach this, then why can we stomach children being bombed? thousands being starved? for all that self immolation is, it brings death in a matter of minutes. it is a fraction of the amount of pain, fear, and grief that people in gaza are experiencing. it's just that we are able to quantify it. and this tiny, quantifiable sliver of horror is still so unbelievably awful. how can anyone bear to think about anything else when this horror is happening a millionfold in palestine? this is the question aaron bushnell was asking. and he wanted you to face it, head-on, watching him burn to death.
I've been seeing people make fanart. minimalist graphics to sell on t-shirts. to commodify his death, to mythologize it not a day afterwards, is not only in poor taste but a hindrance to his message. the answer is not commodification, nor is it defeatism, nor is it rejoicing in his death. if you want to honor aaron's legacy, take action. channel your horror and your outrage into making a material change. this wasn't about him. this was about palestine. remember that it was always about palestine.
#aaron bushnell#I didn't want to make another post about this but#watching that video changed me irrevocably.#there have been many instances during this genocide that I've felt that way. and today is another one of those days.#I have been radicalized permanently by these events.#people speak to aaron's death as a result of hopelessness#but I see it as him having profound hope. he had hope that his death would change things.#and it is up to those still alive to ensure that happens.#free palestine
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#me.txt#today is one of those#‘wanting to close the laptop go to the woods and leave it on a moss covered rock somewhere’ kind of morning#I didn’t go to the client’s#because most of the trains were cancelled even though the storm wasn’t that bad#I know I’m supposed to go over lunch break#I know I’m supposed to list all the stuff I have to do and go down that list at a good pace#I know I’m supposed to send Melvin an invite to review the payment module#but. i do not. want to do. any of that.#there’s a /dread/ again and I’m just. so tired. I’m so tired.#this assignment sucks and this job sucks and I’m so tired and sad all the time and I’m just. I’m done.#i don’t even particularly want to do anything else rn like I don’t want to go back to bed or read or watch something#I just want this /dread/ to go away and I think this assignment is a big source of it#not responsible for all of it. but a good chunk.#the only silver lining is that since it’s part time I don’t have to work on it tomorrow I’m on the other assignment#which also sucks in its own way but at least it’s not This One#idk how I’m supposed to cope with this specific job full time. i don’t want to.#but of course E doesn’t care about This job huh#not even a courtesy text? it’s wild. maybe she knows it sucks. idk.#7 weeks to go. ha. and then what. a week off. and then more of this anyway.
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heartblood
#artists on tumblr#blood#organ#the first one is actually a redraw of an old piece#from 2019#i should do redraws more often honestly#there were some cool concepts#that i didn't have the skills to execute back then#i hope years from now i'll look at my art from today#and think the same#i want to keep growing for as long as i live#becoming the best artist i can be#it often feels like it'll never be enough#like there's artists of such incredible unreachable skill#but then i remember almost all of us feel that way#those artists probably too
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best notification possible
#Libby app my beloved#public library supremacy forever#Got a book today that was one of those ‘we actually don’t even have that as an ebook’ indefinite holds#but I guess they got a new copy and SEE this is why placing that hold is worth it anyway#db
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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So I've been doing this thing for months where I just start grabbing one of my plushies to have as tummy support to prevent me from leaning too far forward towards my screen (the plush pushes me back as it's against the desk).
Maybe not good advice but for now it's better than me leaning all the way forward like a dog
#btw get a rlly hard/stuffed plush. ones that r too soft dont work and can practically feel the desk. its uncomfy#i got my sharkitty plush today. its smaller than i thought but its better than my octo plush that i have#the marshmallow looking ones. the splat 3 variant#im considering buying a large bear plush bc i love those + might be better#(i have one but i want another one)#etc
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more dad villain au stuff
featuring: Nooroo having Marinette's cooking for the very first time after a lifetime of imprisonment eating dog kibble because of Gabriel
also featuring: Marinette nervously putting him in containment for his own good (it is a cake dome)
#the cupcake was prettier before nooroo smashed his whole body into it#dad villain au#my art#marinette dupain cheng#tom dupain cheng#nooroo#i had to draw smth to make myself laff bc today was one of those days....
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#i am literally curled up in a ball thinking about this image#today is one of those days u guys . my biology textbook has been staring at me
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It's Ryutaro Naruhodou's arrival and departure today~
A Technical Happy Birthday to the gallant rural boy 💜
#dgs#tgaa#ace attorney#susato mikotoba#the great ace attorney#dai gyakuten saiban#ryutaro naruhodo#surprised to see nobody celebrate his birthday#since he's one of those characters who does technically have an official bday aklfjasg#both was born and died today- that's so metal tho
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Look what we've become.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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finally completed my comic based on the song ivy by taylor swift!✿ please zoom in to read the text and see the details~
✿.✿.✿
you can get the digital zine pdf here! it includes extras like character profiles, costume design, more art of willow and ivy, zine-exclusive sketches and an illustrated guide to the symbolism of all the flowers in this comic.
you can also get prints of individual pages here!
✿.✿.✿
#ivy comic#it's finally complete!!!♡ this was the longest project ever but i really wanted to do my best on every spread#i also worked really hard on the extra pages for the zine. i hope you like those as well if you decide to get it!#i've been wanting to make this comic since evermore came out in 2020 and i listened to ivy for the first time#i posted the first sketches from this comic on my patreon in 2022 and released the first page last year in 2023#so it's been a loooong time coming working on this in between other art#i was always disappointed that i got a hand injury back when i was making my dorothea/'tis the damn season comic#so i couldn't give my 100% on every page of that one. that's part of why i wanted to go all out for my ivy comic#and it has a happy ending this time!♡#thank you for sticking around if you've been reading since page 1#and thank you also if you just read it for the first time today!#also i didn't plan it but i coincidentally finished this comic exactly on lesbian visibility week. love that#ivy comic mimimar#oc#ivy#willow#taylor swift#taylor swift ivy#ivy taylor swift#evermore#illustration#illo#comic#lesbian#wlw#sapphic#lesbian visibility week#lesbian art#wlw art#sapphic art
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hyunjin — dominATE: 241117 📍tokyo
#hyunjin#skz#stray kids#bystay#staydaily#skzco#gifs#a collection of my favourite moments from today.. my eyes are so red from staring at the screen the whole day 😭#or maybe from the fact that they were almost popping out of their places whenever he would show up#im like one of those squishy toys that do that and he’s squeezing me hard!!!!!!
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happy Trans Day of Visibility 💙💗🤍💗💙✨✨✨
#in stars and time#trans day of visibility#couldve added the whole dang convo tbh... but whatever you just get those#my favorite part is actually the 'change is destruction' one but that goes a little too hard for today maybe#isat spoilers
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