#toad-ally

[toad-in-a-trenchcoat]

based of this panel from Allie Brosh’s Solutions and Other Problems

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Toad

Debut: Super Mario Bros. 2

Sit your ass down and listen the fuck up. We need to talk about the most badass motherfucker in the Mushroom Kingdom. We need to talk about

mother

fucking

Toad.

I can already hear you with your “but toad was in the first game he says your princess is in another castle” NO he fucking isn’t. These are just Toads, not THE Toad, and you will put respect on his name. I don’t give a shit if it’s confusing that he shares his name with his entire species. It’s raw as hell. It’s him just declaring himself the best out of his entire species, and they all go along with it, because he’s fucking Toad, understand? Good.

Super Mario Bros. 2 is where Toad made his REAL debut, and immediately made it clear what’s what around here. Not only is he the fastest, leaving those other assholes in the dust, he’s the STRONGEST. This little shit is pure POWER. He’s also all blue in this game, just to prove that he can do whatever he wants, it’s not going to change the fact that he’s fucking TOAD.

Mario Kart wouldn’t be shit if Toad wasn’t in every goddamn installment, and they know it. TOAD knows it. In Mario Kart 64, he is not only voiced by the legendary Isaac Marshall, but he’s known for proclaiming “I’m the best!”, because of course he would. Anyone else saying this would sound like a fucking asshole, but when Toad says it, it’s a fact. Are you going to argue against that? He has his own fucking turnpike. But that’s nothing compared to some other tracks.

You KNOW Mario Kart 7 is not fucking around when the first track it throws at you is TOAD CIRCUIT. That’s right, not Mario Circuit or Luigi Circuit. Toad Fucking Circuit. This track’s layout is deceptively simple, but then you see the massive Toad balloons all over the place, and holy fucking shit this is badass as hell. No other starting circuit comes close.

Then they brought it back for the Booster Course Pass and oh my fucking god. Toad Circuit, in HD. They went out of their way to model the goddamn HANDS on the Toad balloons this time. They did NOT need to go this hard, but they did, and you just know fucking Toad himself must have pulled some strings with the higher-ups to make his course really stand out compared to the others from the wave, which frankly look like shit.

What more do you really need me to say about Toad? The fucking body horror implications of his attack in Smash, where he sprays spores as a counter? Imagine inhaling that and having thousands of little Toads growing in your fucking LUNGS. Jesus Christ.

I’ll just leave you with the fact that Toad has become more popular than ACTUAL TOADS. Holy shit.

[icy-dark-star]

"Nightmare Dessert"

Even the toughest can only face it with fear, disappointment and disgust.

The cook culprit:

[wet-bed]

doodles on my school journal within a few months

absolute ‘bread’ in french

i

[luigikittykat]

I'm late but...

Of course I put the main focus on the main heroes of the Mario Movie for Pride Month!

[zootopiathingz]

Toad: I can’t figure out how to eat this cupcake.

Mario: you’re supposed to take the paper off.

Toad: ohhh!!

Toad: *eats the paper*

[unorthodoxpengu]

Levitate me higher

[postmakerkiwi]

🦴 Skelos Badlands Sounds - Badland Wildlife 🔥

Skelos Badlands is home to a wide variety of fauna besides the Bonebuilders. Keep quiet (and out of sight) and you can safely (probably) hear any one of these local creatures: catbats, lava toads, fire wizards, pterodactyls, lava lizards...

photos via Spyro Wikia

[i-make-pride-icons]

Mario Movie Pride Icons!

[toxictoad]

Starlight (Dawn/Galen) is a fell first + fell harder thing. Galen has been in love since they were teenagers and Dawn had one single moment of selflessness about him and then decided that he was immediately in love right now and that the dark side is stupid and he wants his boyfriend >:(

[artsbutthole]

Kirby’s kitchen😁

[violetganache42]

Yep. Mario movie still looking mid as fuck.

[hymnofmistral]

Writing isn't all that it's croaked up to be 🐸

[honoringthor]

Animal allies 🐸 toad

🐸Aka. Sapaktalgi/Sopakvlke(Muskogee), Tak'ya-kwe(zuni), Oma'K'aki (Timahami), Bramble frog, Phryhli, le crapaud, sapo, ropucha, tudse, pad, kröte,

🐸They're probably Eastern American toads (Anaxyrus americanus) of which there are 3 subspecies, Eastern American toad(shown?), Dwarf American toad, and the rare Hudson Bay toad. American toads are native to the Eastern US and Canada. They were once part of the genus "Bufo" before they were Anaxyrus. They look similar to Fowler's and Wood house's toads whose territories overlap with the American toad. They can live up to 30yrs.

Some native American tribes associate toads with witchcraft and disease. For others they may represent a clan. In Haudenosaunee lore toad was one of the animals that tried to bring up earth during the creation myth. The Objibwe hero Iyash became the 1st toad in their lore. In Timahami lore a toad singing in the dark means rain. 🌧️

In parts of Europe, toad also represents witchcraft and disease. Familiars would sometimes take the form of toads who were fed blood by the witch's they serve. Europeans had a charm called a toad stone which said to be in the head above the eyes. The stones were used to protect against poison and healing. They were actually fossilized lepidotes. There was also the "toad bone". This bone was used to control horses and people.

The Han Chinese have a toad or frog called Jin Chan/Chan Chuy or "wealth beckoning frog/money toad/frog". Figurines of them are used in Feng Shui.

In Japan toad is seen as bringing luck, prosperity, transformation, and adaptability. They're associated with Benzaiten and the sage, Gama Sennin rode a giant toad and had them as allies.

Toad venom was used by various cultures as a hallucinagin.

Toads are associated with Hecate.

Sources

Wikipedia Anaxyrus americanus

Native-languages.org

Conservewildlife.org

The Natterjack at the edges of occult history

Toads in Japanese folklore

Toads in Mythology

[wet-bed]

gaming setup packing up stuff to move out

[poetryofjacobmoses]

Golden Toad, 1989

Courtesy of Wikipedia North of Monteverdeyour native residenceYou courted your matesdrawn by rainbows Female of speciesirridescently illuminatingCosta Rican forest reservescaling down elevations Mating in rainwaterPatriarchal danceRitual maintaineduntil eggs fell victim to dry, moldy groundOnly a select fewsurvived aridityEl Niño disurbed paternity of jewelsinhabing poolsNow their…