#to the point where I was actually sad they recast him in the second one

[spheciform]

YESSSS FANTASTIC!!! Utena is so so special to me as a piece of media that gets better and better with each rewatch and still floors me every time that I reach the end in just how hopeful it is and how masterfully it crafts characters and their conflicts it's so <3!!! It's genuinely like. My favorite piece of media ever. As for symbolism I think my favorite that I picked out was the coding of red and white and pink roses throughout the series it makes me. So crazy. Seeing red being a color so heavily tied to the rose bride and everything it embodies, a sense of forced passivity, meanwhile white and white roses being tied to the idea of princehood and being Active and such, it's not super super cut and dry but it makes me mental? Like the dress utena is given for the ball episode in the first arc having a red rose as part of it while being tied to this idea of touga trying to "tame" her... Utena wearing a white rose for every duel EXCEPT the one where she is fighting for herself at the end of the first arc (that being the pink rose she has for. I think exclusively that duel?i can't remember if we get a pink rose again at the end of the series or not) and how dueling is so embodying of her playing prince etc etc. as such pink being both tied to utena in just the fact she's the Pink One but also because along the lines of that symbolism pink is the in-between, the boy-girl, the thing that is both prince and bride, etc etc. it makes me want to chew through WALLS!!! I've got to say my favorite is so hard to pick but it might just be wakaba flourishing. It just goes too hard. Like the ending will always hold a special place in my heart and the shiori black rose duel is so good for the elevator sequence alone, but man something about wakaba flourishing just hits different. The emotional impact, the sudden depth wakaba is given just by focusing on her and involving her in the duels to show not even she can escape the reach of this system just. Man. And it is such a gorgeous episode too like visually, the deep oranges they use are so so good!! I'm so so glad you enjoyed the series it's always such a good time :DD

Hi!! Im guessing you finished utena- thoughts?? Feelings?? Favorite bit of symbolism? Favorite episode? Anything?

Hiiii omg!! I sure did!!! My thoughts and feelings are that I am 1) screaming and 2) ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE!!!! It was so gorgeously crafted, the queer themes were beautifully rendered, the darker themes which would normally put me off entirely were SO compellingly done that I'm really glad I persevered with the show!!! I don't know if I'm bold enough to pick a favorite piece of symbolism (especially when I'm sure a solid portion must've flown directly over my head), but I really loved the repeated fairy-tale style openings with utena's past that morphed towards the finale!! And I have no idea if I can pick a favorite episode, but ep34's reveal of what exactly the prince showed utena murdered me DEAD and I loved it beyond words <333 Thank you so much for asking!!! What are your answers to the same questions?

[puppet-purgatory]

you won't post 1 headcanon for every puppet. you wont

i WILL. AND i'll do it in chronological order from appearance (more or less). but it will be under a readmore after the first season so i dont interrupt anyones scrollin

The Professor: i think in addition to growing a bit from Dino DNA(tm) he also has feathers now. just some feathers in there with his fur. maybe even molts and is miserable about it

Death: he plays guitar And piano, but just as a hobby. he's like a salaryman who had a garage band as a teenager and never fully gave up on the dream

Propeller: propeller SADSTUCK: i think he legitimately had to go to therapy for the britannica shit that happened. PH feels like it would be that realistic about mental health tbh

Big Pile of Diamonds: his mustache is fake. his greatest secret. his greatest shame.

God: he actually really likes to dance! unfortunately next 2 no one will do it since... The Incident

Train: does he not have a better name... maybe put a mr. in front of there... anyway he feels betrayed by the U.S. since they gave up the train model for highways/interstates and the motorcar industry. gets REALLY heated about it

Mt. Vesuvius: has a bunch of speeches given by famous latin authors and orators memorized, but sometimes he mashes them up without realizing/misattributes which one was written by whom. old man moments

Hatshepsut's Goose: can't remember what their gender was in life. that's fine, they love being a nonbinary icon. AMAB (Assigned Mummy at (em)Balming)

Clipped Coin: dodges the spool's wrath by being unflappable and so down to earth despite his apparent success. truly the king of staying in his own lane

Olympic Torch: hes a cranky piece of shit and only really enjoys sporting competition. he was complaining about being in the group puzzle photo so god just picked him up and he went ffffffffffine. okay. ill smile for 2 seconds

Gay Oars: i think they Also went to therapy, mostly relationship counseling, and now they are back and better than Ever. unbreakable bond. im abt to pen a whole ass comic series about them getting married in purgatory

Policarpa's Spool: still thinks of himself as a spy type, but there's only so much spying he can do in... purgatory. of course, his primary nemesis is the treasure chest.

Lake Donner Snowman: idk if this counts as a headcanon per se but in my very short list where i recast the puppets as famous singers, he is ABSOLUTELY voiced by Weird Al Yankovic.

St. Nick's Wet Bones: sort of taking the whole purgatory thing in stride. he kinda feels like he's in retirement! now he's a minor agent of chaos who's looked after by his darling Pickle Boys

Beast of Gevaudan: i was so sad when the infinitiger wasn't real, i wanted them to have a cooking show together so badly and destroy the horse's self-esteem. i love him. hes so abominably french

Stool of Gold: well-traveled, well-read, literally just as sensible as the Book or the Oars, but finds the chaos entertaining to spectate.

Ziryab's Oud: I think that the puppets have divvied up the whole Wondrium Arena and all have designated Living Areas, and he has a whole dressing room filled with shitty costumes he can't even wear. every time someone knocks he answers like hes on MTV's Cribs.

Bye Bye Brothers: they live in the orchestral pit and treat it like a secret lair. only other Murderer Puppets are allowed in. EXCLUSIVE club

Flower Boat: GNC Icon. this is a flower boat stan account. jenuinely a wholesome, emotional vessel doing their best to pitch in.

Molasses Horse: you can wash him as much as you want, that shit always just comes back somehow. the book theorizes it's psychosomatic at this point, since they're technically only souls at this point.

Tiny Piece of Wheat: bro i bet they went through SUCH phases after finding out about the professor's death. like all five stages of grief and then four more that have not yet been discovered by humans. dw kiddo, u got Grandparents incoming

Emu: the type of guy to fistfight you and then help you up. laid back but ready to throw down at a MOMENT'S notice. has no beef with the Wheat, but generally avoids them to keep from any Upsets.

Treasure Chest: has a little list of get-rick-quick schemes he wants to test, but has no way to in purgatory. he has one braincell bouncing around in his head like the DVD logo

Scabs & Pus: they get to hang out with the Bye Bye Brothers in their little club :) they're gross dudes to look at and be around. but they are ultimately harmless and friendly and just happy to be included.

Book: i love da book. I think he lives in the music library backstage and finds librettos for stageplays/musicals to pitch to the group to put on, as well as produces their little TV shows.

Birch Trees: since they share a root system, they have a telepathic link and communicate without even speaking, which is fucking creepy as hell when one or both of them just start laughing out of nowhere. they probably enjoy acting sinister

Asmodeus: he worked HARD on his song for the show!!!!! i think he's a bit of a ham sometimes when he gets the chance. also his goat head bites literally anything that comes close on reflex.

The Devil: while everything he does is to get souls, it also feels like he wants for positive and is less an Enemy of God and more an Irritating Coworker. in my brain they have a whole Tom and Jerry thing going on.

I don't have anything for the Fake Puppets the Substitute impersonated, but im planning on drawing some infinitiger soon bc he was my fave for sure

The Substitute: this is PURELY crack but i think it would be hilarious if he had voice commands like some tech does. i want him to climb back in the window and ryan just yells XBOX TURN OFF and he vanishes.

Dino Dad/Dinosir: i think even after he gets to the present and learns about all kinds of rocks and gems and crystals he Still just loves a big old rock he can lay on and sun himself with. like a dad and his armchair. doesnt gotta be fancy, just has to be comfy.

Dino Mom/Dinosara: i think she would be REALLY into the fake tv shows the puppets in the Wondrium Arena make. and they'd probably Love to have her as a fan. i think both the professor's parents are Hella popular.

[coppicefics]

Masked Omens: Week Seven, Part One

[Image Description: Image 1 - A simple rendition of the Masked Singer UK logo, a golden mask with colourful fragments flying off of it. The mask has a golden halo and a golden devil tail protruding from either side. Below, gold text reads ‘Masked Omens’.

Image 2 - A page from the Entertainment section of the Capital Herald, dated 6th February 2021. Full image description and transcript below the cut. End ID.]

Read the fic here! All news stories and events are entirely fictional; real names of people (with the exception of image attributions) and places are used only for context. No affiliation is implied, and no disrespect is intended by the use of their names in this work of fiction.

[EDIT: With thanks to HolRose/@hasturswig for spotting that I had overlooked the sad passing of John Noakes, who originally appeared on this page!]

The Capital Herald - Saturday, 6th February 2021 Entertainment, page 15

Top left: Grasswater redo rumoured Will anybody tackle the ‘cursed’ adaptation? [Image Description: The ‘w’ in ‘Grasswater, ‘h’ in ‘the’, and ‘o’ in ‘adaptation’ in the above headline have been circled in pencil. End ID.] It's been nearly a decade and a half since the critically-acclaimed adaptation of Sir Thomas Parsett's The Grasswater Affair flopped into cinemas, and rumours are once again circulating about a possible reboot. The first attempt at transferring Parsett's magnum opus to the big screen was released in 2009 after a series of setbacks to the production process. Among the calamities that befell the set were a fire in the wardrobe department, an overdose requiring producers to recast the lead role of Fabian, and a bout of food poisoning that halted filming for over a week. There were whispers, among the more superstitious, that the film was cursed. By the time The Grasswater Affair was finally released, the delay had whipped the original book's fans into a frenzy of anticipation, and excitement over the forthcoming film actually pushed the 19th-century novel into the bestseller lists for the first time in the weeks before the release. Early reviews were promising, and the good press only fed the hype machine. But the crowds that packed into cinemas to watch it emerged disappointed; while the reasons they gave for their disappointment varied wildly, everybody from casual viewers to die-hard book lovers seemed to find it lacking in some aspect or another. It deviated too far from the source text, while adhering precisely to the minor details that didn't matter; it featured a young actor fresh out of drama school, rather than the promised household name; it lingered too long on shots of the actresses' bosoms, and the key object that proved key to the plot was left entirely out of focus in the background of a crucial early scene. While, naturally, some audience members enjoyed it in its own right, it never became either a blockbuster hit or a cult classic, and it still boasts a lowly 2.9 stars on the Internet Movie Database (IMDb) and 24% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. This being the case, it might be hard to understand why rumours continue to circulate about a revival of The Grasswater Affair, or what might make this time different from the many, many other occasions when such a story has surfaced on the internet. The first question is easily answered by a look at the thriving community of Parsett fans who adore the original novel – and, indeed, the rest of the series The Grasswater Affair is part of. Following first Fabian, and then various other heroes, through a sort of alternative 19th century underpinned by magic and other fantasy tropes, it's been hailed as a masterpiece – and it's aged surprisingly well despite the shift in society's views and tolerances since its publication. The first novel sees Fabian locked in a battle of wits with his somewhat older rival, Rafferty, as they seek to make their fortunes in a society rife with danger and – worse – scandal. As for the second question, the recent rumours have an extra ring of truth to them thanks to the attachment of an actual name – writer-turned-showrunner Noel Garmin is said to be in talks about the project. Having adapted several of his own books for the small screen, could he now be turning his famed respect for written source material to a film or series based on Parsett's masterpiece? If he does, book fans can expect to be very pleased with the result. Garmin was asked about his upcoming projects at a recent convention panel, and his answer, while enigmatic, seemed promising.“Well, I've got to write some books, at some point! But I do also want to work on some more TV, it's a fascinating way of telling a story and it's still quite new and exciting for me. Perhaps I could tell one of my favourite stories, one that I didn't originally write. I'm actually talking to some people... We'll have to see. Hopefully I'll have news for you soon.” Hopefully you will, Noel. Hopefully you will. CITRON DEUX-CHEVAL Top right: Summer’s operatic offerings Last of Glyndebourne festival announcements [Image Description: The apostrophe and ‘s’ of ‘summer’s’ and the ‘t’ of ‘operatic’ in the above headline are circled in pencil. Below the headline is a short, wide picture of a theatre auditorium with red curtains. Small text over the bottom of the picture reads ‘Photo: Gabriel Varaljay | Unsplash’. End ID.] Opera fans are in for a treat this summer, as Puccini's Turandot returns to Glyndebourne Opera House. The venue in Lewes is renowned as the home of great opera, and Turandot is a favourite no matter where it's performed, so this combination of the two is a perfect match. Throw in popular young tenor Jeremy Wensleydale – most recently seen on ITV's The Masked Singer - performing the role of Calaf, and it's a performance guaranteed to impress. The play follows Calaf as he sets out to win the hand of the titular princess. Each suitor is asked three riddles, and failure means instant death. But answering three riddles is not enough to win the heart of Princess Turandot, and Calaf strikes a desperate bargain; if she can guess his true name by daybreak, she may put him to death regardless. If she fails, the marriage goes ahead. It's an interesting method of courting, to be sure, but the opera has enchanted and delighted audiences for many years now. And, if nothing else, who can resist an opportunity to hear 'Nessun Dorma' live? Glyndebourne members can book tickets now for dates between 25th May and 22nd June; remaining tickets will be available from the 18th of April. Turandot is the latest title to be announced by the opera house and completes their summer season's line-up. There will also be performances of Cosi Fan Tutte, Tristan and Isolde, Il Turco in Italia, and an array of concerts and other events. The Glyndebourne Summer Festival is always a highlight of the arts scene in the middle of the year, but there are events all year round. Currently, the opera house is a stopping-point for a touring production of Romeo & Juliet, which has already passed through the Chichester Festival Theatre and will then go on to Colchester, Ipswich, Cambridge, Sheffield, Manchester and Leeds. The show is a daring new interpretation of the age-old Shakespearean tragedy, fusing music and dance with the familiar story, and a full review will appear in the Capital Herald on Thursday. From the middle of February, Romeo & Juliet will be replaced at Glyndebourne with a more traditional #approach to La Traviata by Giuseppe Verdi. The music of La Traviata may be familiar, even to audiences unfamiliar with the story, as it was rather liberally plundered for inspiration by Donato Lovreglio in 1865. Of course, that does assume a familiarity with Lovreglio - but if you find yourself humming along during your first attendance, that might very well be why. Incidentally, for more opera and classical music trivia, you might find my recent book, Inside Opera, worth a read - especially if you need to brush up on your cultured conversation points before you visit the opera house this summer. EDWARD BIGGS Inside Opera, by Edward Biggs, is published by Byker Press and is available now in all good bookshops. #Hardback RRP ￡9.99/€11.99.

Centre left: Capital Herald scoops NMA Star-studded ceremony honours news greats [Image Description: The ‘H’ of ‘Herald’, ‘A’ of ‘NMA’, and ‘t’ of ‘star’ in the above headline are circled in pencil.] The 2021 News Media Award ceremony took place on Thursday evening at a glamorous event held in the Mayfair Room at the Connaught Hotel, Mayfair. While many of the attendees are more used to operating the cameras than parading in front of them, they rose to the occasion with great aplomb, rubbing shoulders on the red carpet with some of the most famous entertainers in the UK who'd come to add their own special touches to the ceremony. It will come as no surprise to learn that Trevor McDonald, Natasha Kaplinsky, and Naga Munchetty were in attendance, as were Tom Bradby and Dan Walker. But the attendee who really got heads turning was Carmine Zugiber, notorious for attending very few events on UK soil. Although she's normally out in the field, she's been based in London for the last couple of months, covering the political beat for News World Weekly in Uriel Scrolle's absence, and it seems she couldn't resist the opportunity to collect her awards for Best Combat Coverage and Outstanding Field Reporting in person. Wearing a glamorous Ligur gown in striking red to match her hair, she paused on the red carpet to exchange words with some of those less fortunate reporters covering the event. “I don't know what to do with myself, with nobody shooting at me!” Zugiber joked. “Where's my bulletproof jacket?” The ceremony featured a performance of 'Messy (If I Want To Be)' by rapper P-White, who also presented an award for Entertainment Columnist of the Year to the Capital Herald's very own Citron Deux-Cheval. Another of the Capital Herald's staff writers, Edward Biggs, was nominated in the category of News-Adjacent Achievement for his 2020 trivia book, That Guy From That Thing. While the award, presented by Dame Angela Crowley, eventually went to News World Weekly's Donald Eath for High Score: A Study in Arcade Machines, Edward did get a chance to meet Dame Angela and exchange a few words. “She said I shouldn't feel discouraged, as she didn't win anything at her first awards ceremony either – and she wished me every success with my new book, which has just come out,” said Biggs of the star. “Hopefully, next year, I'll be bringing home a trophy too.” At the end of the night, as the winners and losers drifted home, the presses were already roaring into action to print the morning's papers. The news never stops; there was precious little time for the winners to enjoy the warm glow of appreciation, and no time at all for the less successful nominees to lament their losses. But at the end of the day, the whole industry could sleep safe in the knowledge that the work we do is valuable, and valued. MARY HODGES

Bottom left: Blue Peter garden party ‘22 Celebrating 10 years in show’s new location [Image description: The ‘B’ and ‘e’ of ‘Blue’ and the ‘h’ of ‘show’ in the above headline are circled in pencil. End ID.] The BBC has announced that it will be holding a party for former Blue Peter presenters, guests, and viewers in 2022. Held in the Blue Peter garden in Salford to celebrate ten years since it was relocated from London, the party is expected to provide an opportunity for Blue Peter presenters, past and present, to mingle and let their hair down, as well as catching up with some of the guests who've appeared on the show over the years. Former presenters such as Adam Young, Katy Hill, Radzi Chinyanganya, Anthea Turner, Gethin Jones, Pat Maputi, Yvette Fielding and Konnie Huq can expect an invite, of course, as can the current team of Lindsey Russell, Richie Driss, Mwaka Mudenda, and Adam Beales. But the former guests are an even more varied bunch; everyone from Idina Menzel and Sir Chris Hoy to McFly and Tim Peake could be invited, to say nothing of the hundreds of farmers, bakers, teachers, parents, and kids who've taken part in the show. While the party is quite a long way off yet, the BBC are already hard at work figuring out a lottery system that will allow them to give every viewer an equal chance to be invited to the party. Register your interest now on the Blue Peter website to make sure you don't miss out. SARAH JEUNE Ad, bottom right: [Image Description: A black background with a dark-grey crown resting on it. There are smudges of a lighter colour on the background. Above the crown, graffiti-style text reads ‘P-White’. Below it, written as if in chalk, are the words ‘Chalkdust tour’, underlined as if in chalk. Beneath it, a red bar reading ‘New dates added’ covers the words ‘Sold out’. Below that is the web address ‘www.chalkdust-tour.com’. Tiny writing in the bottom right hand corner reads ‘Photo: Zach Angelo for ProChurchMedia | Unsplash’. End ID.]

[End of transcript]

[kinetic-elaboration]

December 30: The Search for Spock

Today, the Search for Spock. Third TOS film in 3 days; I’m living my best life.

I feel like I won’t have much to say about this one, but I always say that and then ramble.

Definitely the best of the first three. I’d rank them: TSFS, TMP, TWOK, personally.

The pacing was the best of the three; the overarching human narrative, of a man’s quest to save his most important person, was way better than TWOK (just two old guys who can’t get over 15 year old beef lmao); the sci fi aspect was literally just Genesis part two but this time I was proven correct in thinking it’s dumb; Kirk was consistently both awesome and in character; the found family feels were on point; the humor was on point; the eerie moments were on point; it had a lot of Dramatic Moments; and a beautiful ending. A+

Some particular favorite scenes: Kirk finding McCoy hanging out in Spock’s quarters; Sarek talking to Kirk about Spock (NO ONE is allowed to talk to me about Shatner’s acting ever again and Mark Lenard is a treasure); the entire stealing-the-Enterprise sequence; the fight scene with the Big Klingon because the only proper fight scenes are Kirk fight scenes; Kirk holding Spock up for their dramatic exit from Genesis; the Ending. Kirk and Spock legit could have kissed at the end and it would have read perfectly fine.

A few complaints: first of all there was 0 reason to have little Spock go through Pon Farr. It was creepy and wrong. He has nothing going on in that brain of his, so he definitely can’t consent to sex, and Saavik’s a daughter figure to him, so you know she didn’t want to do that. Also, he looks like he’s still a child. And she tries to explain it to him, but he doesn’t know language, not even Vulcan--how would he? He’s existed for a day. Finally, real Spock didn’t experience Pon Farr until his late 30s, so it’s completely unnecessary to include that in this film.

Also, I thought Saavik and David were pretty boring in this film. They had a very narrow purpose, as my mom put it, and imo not much character. That David was Kirk’s son was almost completely irrelevant. They obviously have some kind of (romantic?) relationship but no real chemistry. The recasting of Saavik didn’t help her at all. Overall, they were just kinda blah to me. Especially compared to the badass crew of the Enterprise lbr.

I remembered David’s death very differently. I remembered it as Kirk’s fault somehow--but it really isn’t his fault at all. David’s on the exploration mission because, I assume, he wants to be, and then he sacrifices himself on his own, for Saavik. In the context of the protomatter revelation, it looks like a redemptive act. It’s terrible for Kirk but like...even Sarek puts it in the same breath as losing the Enterprise.

I hated seeing the Enterprise brutally torn apart in B*yond, but her death here is completely different: it’s sad, and oddly beautiful, to see the ship flaming out against the sky, but it’s not played as a big action / torture porn sequence. And it’s warranted: she was already going to be decommissioned, Kirk stole her for a last hurrah, and he gives her up as part of a desperate plan, when he has almost nothing else left. Losing the Enterprise is necessary to complete his arc. She’s always been the most important. He’s sacrificed so much of his life for this ship and this job. But now he’s pissed off Starfleet, he’s lost his son (the first person he gave up for the Fleet, when he was still in the Academy), and he’s got just a bare thread of chance to save Spock, the other half of his soul. So if he doesn’t succeed, who cares if he’s lost the ship? He’ll have nothing left anyway. And if he succeeds, as he does, it’s a fair price.

I also feel like this is really the end of the Kirk / TOS story, even though there are 3 more films with him. He’s finally chosen: Spock over all else. He ends the movie on a different planet, with literally only Spock and the rest of the core bridge crew with him, but it’s a happy ending. Because all the excess has been cut away, and the core of what’s important to him has been found. Beautiful.

Then the epilogue is like “but if whales? wouldn’t that be fun?” and it is.

I loved Sulu’s outfit in this and also Uhura’s in Kirk’s apartment. But Kirk and that tracksuit? Is that what he thinks appropriate retirement clothing is?

I loved Scotty hating on the Excelsior and also how Sulu was into it, especially given that Sulu becomes captain of that ship later. I bet he and Scotty still argue about it.

It was interesting that the main alien enemy here was the Klingons. I’m not against it, it’s fine, they’re generic, but they had a cloaking device, and I’m fairly sure this is the first time we’ve seen the Klingons with that. Mom thinks they stole it from the Romulans, and I’d have to agree. It seems the same, right down to the weaknesses. Interesting that the Federation was the first to steal it, and yet the don’t seem to use it.

I’m back on David again. I cannot believe this bitch. He rants and raves about how awful the big mean military is in TWOK and yet WHO was using UNETHICAL SCIENCE to create his big, stupid pointless invention? Oh, that would be David, the civilian scientist. Maybe if he’d gone into Starfleet he’ have learned ethics. Or not a Starfleet officer did sell Genesis to the Klingons lol. (Actually...if they already had it, why are they still after Kirk for it?) He’s also super naive. “The Klingons won’t want this, it doesn’t even work?” My not-so-sweet summer child, it’s a weapon. It’s a much better weapon than it is a terraforming device.

...I think McCoy was turned on by Uhura putting Mr. Adventure into the closet. But then who wasn’t?

I can actually see Scotty and Uhura having romantically compatible personalities at this point in the series.

Definite mom erasure in this film; no Carol; no Amanda. You KNOW Amanda would have been at the weird Vulcan ceremony.

I will give the AOS films this: more than anything in TOS or the TOS films, they make Vulcan look like a real planet where people really live and do normal, every day stuff like sit on their balcony or (sort of) go to school. I mean I realize Spock was resurrected on a ceremonial mountain, which is probably...just for ceremonies, but still.

I loved that the first thing Spock said to Jim was “my dad told me about you” because first of all, love that he got to see his father first, and second, they talked about Jim. “Hey Spock, do you remember me? Good. Do you remember your husband? I hope so because he literally just sacrificed everything to save you.” Wish we had a deleted scene of that.

Anyway I love two (2) space husbands and that is all.

”

[robertisbisexual]

I see all these will sonny Paul stuff on your blog and have no idea what happened. What’s the story there? Who’s who? Who forgot about who? I’m sorry this is just me being so confused! X

Welcome to a crash course in gays of our lives anon [because days doesnt know what a bisexual is or a wlw tbh]

also NEVER APOLOGIZE i love talking about Paul and Will and sometimes Sonny.

So

Will is the blond man, Paul is the Asian man, and Sonny is obviously the remaining man.

Will and Sonny were the big ship back in the day and represented a lot of firsts in terms of queer rep in daytime soaps.  And for the most part they had a pretty good relationship [theres the whole Will not coming out right away and managing to knock up Gabi thing but ultimately their trio parenting is very cute and I like their family so \ o/ ]

Now Chandler [the blond man in all the gifs i reblogged] decided to leave and they recasted the character. It was... a choice that some liked and some didnt. I didnt really have strong feelings on it because I barely watched at that time and I never really cared about Wilson all that much.

But you see days is a soap that LIVES on love triangles [if you dont have some sort of relationship drama youre probably only gonna be on screen one day a week tbh] and so eventually they brought in Paul.

I am very Paul biased and I aint sorry about it.

Paul was introduced as a closeted major league baseball player in Salem for a fancy surgery and we eventually found out he was [in a retcon i believe] Sonnys first love but they broke up cuz he wouldnt come out etc etc. It caused some drama llama because days is gonna days.

Eventually Will banged Paul for the scoop story on him being a gay man and cheated on Sonny to do so and then when Sonny and Will were i think broken up and definitely not in a good place period the show decided “lets murder will and let the viewers see it from his POV”

It did not go over well. Like not even with just fandom it went over bad everywhere because Will was a legacy character people watched grow up and is a child of two of the most important families in Days history and it was... the worst. just a dumb dumb thing [side note he was kinda murdered by Ben, current days heartthrob fgdsdsgdf]

So in the wake of that Paulson rose from dead Wilson ashes. And people loved it! Like ok sure not all wilson fans loved it because shippers and monoshipping but the general audience loved the the sl and Paul.

It lasted ... years. like the build to them getting married was LONG.

And then we found out Chandler was coming back because the only thing days loves more than love triangles is bringing someone back from the dead. So surprise Ben didnt actually kill will because a magic days potion thing saved him? just made him seem dead? idk its confusing.

Ben crashed a wedding and yelled about Will being alive and even tho Wilson weren't even together when Will died and we’d spent years now watching Sonny fall big time loe in love with Paul the SECOND he heard Will was alive it was like Paul whomst?

A buncha angst happened, paul looked sad alot, and they found Will alive only Will thought he was EJ [his step dad, its a long story] and had no memories of anyone. People convinced him to move back to Salem and to try and remember and in a big ass disservice to Sonnys character the writers made him a lil turd bucket who dumps Paul and then just sorta assumed him and Will will be together.

Except amnesia Will had only one goal in his newly discovered new/oldlife: to get smashed into next year by beautiful Paul.

This man literally divorced [idk how you need to get divorced when youve been declared legally dead and Sonny was literally about to get married a few weeks prior but whatever days you do you] sonny for a CHANCE at that sweet sweet paul action.

Paul was VERY hesitent about Will because he still loved Sonny and even if Sonny didnt want to be with him he didnt want to hurt Sonny. IMO the writing for Sonny here is awful tbh and they made him both way to aggressive in his attempts to be with Will and cold in his treatment of Paul. It was like a light switch got flipped from “loves paul” to “loves will” and there was no inbetween [this is an issue they duplicated with Will months later and it was imo just as poorly done]

What came next was Paul and Will growing closer and fallin in love and I WOULD LITERALLY DIE FOR THEM but like even the most diehard horita shipper knew that eventually will x sonny would happen.

And not too long after Will and Paul shared the i love yous and basically moved in together etc etc Will started his journey of recovering his memories and Paul was CLEARLY nervous about it but supportive and helpful because hes just a soft good human tbh and Will repeatedly told him nothing would change [but we knew rip]

Except as soon as Will got his full memories back he had that light switch flip himself and literally seconds after having memories back was like “time to dump paul“

except dumbass paul with a heart of gold literally tackled someone out a window of a mansion to save Wills mom from being hurt and ended up paralyzed because apparently days only knows how to write men of color out by paralyzing them [ because they LITERALLY just did this exact exit with another character not even a year before this but i digress] so Will felt guilty and stayed with Paul, though not too guilty because he kept making out with Sonny in public places and getting reamed for it by Pauls brother Brady.

Then Paul ... figured it out? Or Will finally fessed up I cant really remember tbh I sorta blocked it out because it was ...not well written. Anyways they broke up and literally a day later Paul was like ok bye dad and brother im moving back to san fran for fancy medical treatment see ya whenever and just left lmao without even saying goodbye to anyone else.

and now we’re at the point where days clearly has no idea what to do with only 2 gay men and no triangle because all they've done since Paul left is that Sonny was blackmailed into marrying guest character Leo, also a gay man, who they thought they’d killed months before [and paul helped them cover up I believe because he's perfect] but surprise you didnt and now you gotta be married and stay apart because... reasons.

And then Leo finally left and they were free of that only now Will has a brain tumor as a side effect form the magic serum stuff that gave him his memories back but they’re only ever on like one day a week and I gotta be honest its so boring anon.

I miss Paul and also Will's personality and I wish they’d both come back.

and that’s what you missed on glee.

[nyxravessnow]

2.5D Stage Ranking (Personal Opinion) pt.2

This is the part two, the ranking of enjoyment

Top 10 in Enjoyment

This will simply be how much I enjoyed the stage. Mostly I prefer comedy so for me quite a lot of these will have a lot of funny moments but not all of them do. 

This will be extremely opinionated but I will try to be positive. Weirdly even though these are the ten shows I most enjoyed, I don’t think three of them would be in my top ten favourite. Some explanations will be more emotional than others.

I will also not explain about the plot to the shows and will try to spoil as little as possible.

1. Prince of Tennis

This should come as no surprise and I won’t go into this two much but Prince of Tennis is the show that really kickstarted 2.5D in my opinion and is the show that made me absolutely fall in love with the industry. I can sing over 100 of the songs and know most of the actors names and is my absolute addiction. I just think Prince of Tennis is so fun, diverse and it’s so exciting to see all these actors who start in Prince of Tennis grow so much and appear in so many other things

2. Mankai A3

I was so surprised by A3. I didn’t really enjoy the game at first and was so confused as to why it suddenly became so popular. I must admit its popularity was one of the things that held me up watching it until I found I cheap version of Spring and Summer then gave in. I thing watched it every day for a week.This show completely pulled me in with fun songs, a compelling cast of characters and a surprising amount of emotion. (For me who did not play the game, if you did play the game, this would not have been surprising)

The company of actors is split into four groups and I was surprised how individual each group was. My favourite, summer, are the youngest of the company and I absolutely loved their play. 

For anyone trying to get into 2.5d plays, this is probably where I would point them first. It is such a fun play with a perfect blend of comedy, emotion, drama and action

3. Yowamushi pedal

Disclaimer: I have only seen up until the end of Ogoe Yuuki’s run as Onoda.

While I didn’t put Yowamushi Pedal on my top 10 for quality, I don’t think it was ever trying to be a high quality show. The showrunners knew there was no way they could show people cycling on stage in a wholly serious manor if they couldn’t use actual bikes. So, they decided to change the tone of the show, which I think wouldn’t have worked in the anime but works perfectly on stage.

If I ever need cheering up Yowamushi Pedal stage is definitely something I would turn to. Every single show has me crying with laughter and it is amazing to see actors having so much fun on stage.

There are so many hilarious moments but the top two for me is when Izumida’s peck Frank, yes his pecks are anthropomorphised on stage, starts touching the other members of Hakogaku and when they are at Toudou’s inn and their cleaner is Harry Potter and he cocks his broom as fires it like a gun at two actors who are pretending to be ducks. Both make absolutely no sense but are amazing to watch and I don’t think I will ever not laugh while even thinking of them.  

4. Touken Ranbu Musical

It is strange that I cry in every single musical and yet I still have an image of the musicals not being sad. I think they get the perfect blend of emotion and comedy for what they are trying to achieve. The actors, on the whole, portray their characters so well and the live segments may just be pandering to the fangirls, but I am a fangirl/fanboy and I love it. The songs fit so perfectly and I don’t think I’ve ever loved reasonably minor characters as much as I do the humans in Touken Ranbu. I think all their actors are excellent and I am slightly in love with Minamoto no Yoshitsune’s eye makeup.

The thing that sold me the most on this musical however, was none of that. I am studying Japanese and it amazes me how much actual history and Japanese culture I have learnt from these musicals. To the extent of me being able to have a conversation in Japanese about the Minamoto clan with an actual Japanese History Teacher whose favourite period of Japanese history is that period and him complimenting me on my knowledge. 

Touken Ranbu also celebrates Japanese culture so much. The taiko drumming in the live, the actual drinking song included in the show and the time where they put on a festival during a live. I feel like this show is a must see for anyone who likes Japanese culture and Japan would seem to agree with me as it far outranks any other show in the industry for popularity. 

While it doesn’t appeal to me in ways that the three above do I love this musical so much I can’t wait until I can see the next one. 

5. Bakumatsu Rock

I keep on forgetting I’ve seen this show live as I saw it in 2015 which was a while ago and was only the third show I ever saw and I was also sick before it so I was a little delirious. But I still remember the feeling of utter joy I had leaving the theatre with Crash My Head stuck in my...head. The acting is so good, the songs are amazing and the actors look like they’re having such a good time. 

I won’t go into the recast as I already mentioned that in the previous ranking but they didn’t stop me from still enjoying the final two stages. I think it was very sad that the show was so short but I don’t really want to see them bring it back.

I think what we have of the show is perfect and I love it with all m heart.

6. Aoharu Tetsudou

This is a musical I think very few people will have watched. A lot of people like it for the fact it combines a lot of Prince of Tennis actors who haven’t acted with each other in a while but while that is what originally got me into the show it is not at all why I stayed. 

This somewhat factual history of different Japanese train lines is utterly insane with the strangest characters, songs and moments. And has led to some of the strangest conversations with Japanese people who know the train lines well

‘So the Rinkai line is a bit ecchi and stalks the Saikyo line’

‘Oh yeah, that makes perfect sense’

‘??? How can a train line be ecchi?’

Also, this show is unabashedly gay. There is a character who continually asks another character to marry him, three different love songs between three different couples and actual other characters saying that they are gay. While it works in a similar way to Hetalia, if countries get married they are uniting, if trains get married they become one train it is still very gay. There are also multiple instances of characters stripping and cosplaying as women. 

I love this show to bits but if you are not used to Japanese acting or you want to show a musical to someone who is not used to Japanese acting, absolutely do not watch/show this musical. I love the overacting and find it hilarious but this is the most overacting I think I have ever seen in a show ever and while I think it really works for this show it will be pretty jarring if you are not used to it.

7. Hiragana Danshi

This show in my opinion is the most underrated musical in the 2.5d industry, along with Aoharu Tetsudou but even more so. The show is about letters of the Hiragana alphabet but they are more the sounds than the actual hiragana so they represent the katakana and kanji as well. Everything they like has to start with their hiragana and there are so many puns. The cast is hugely popular and talented and each one portrays their character so well. The show is so funny and you absolutely will leave with a favourite character. 

The songs are very clever and, almost, all the actors have very good voices and the songs compliment them well. It’s sad that the show seemed to be such a passion project and was truly beloved by the staff and actors but there were not enough fans to ensure that there could be a second stage. 

8. Bungou Stray Dogs

I don’t have very much to add from my previous comments on this show. It is exceptional as I loved the original anime I was so happy to see such a well done adaptation, that slightly made me realise that I am very attracted to Chuuya. I think this show would also be a very good introduction to 2.5d as it shows off the best aspects of the industry. 

9. Mob Psycho 100

I didn’t originally enjoy the Mob Psycho anime but after I loved the stage I went back and watched the anime again and I loved it. I thought the stage was so funny and I could not think of someone more perfect than Baba Ryoma to play Reigen and I’m so happy that recently Baba Ryoma has been given more chances to play comedic characters which I really think suits him. 

I don’t have very much to say about this play except I loved it and fully recommend it

10. Cells at Work

I have seen both stages as I actually managed to go see the second live last week.

While I do think I preferred the first one overall I did love the second one and I personally think that Kitamura Ryo fits with the image of White blood cell from the anime better. 

The shows manage to be so funny but evoke so much emotion with Yamada James Takeshi’s performance of the cancer cell. I think it is the best acting he has ever done and really wish they had a 2.5d version of the tony’s so he could get an award for his role. 

There is something about them that feels distinctly different from most other 2.5d productions in my opinion and I love it.

[razberryyum]

Gintama live action 2 movie review Part 3 of 3...SPOILERS!

Again, you should probably read Parts 1 & 2 first cuz now it’s like you’re starting a movie when it’s already 2/3rds over...which you literally are....

That image looks good whether it’s in black and white, animated color or live action.

I ship GinHiji no matter what form they are in, so this moment, where they’re like THISCLOSETOGETHER, of course made me happy.

Ok, I don’t think I’m crazy but this ass pounding scene went on longer than it did in the anime. It was unbelievable, especially how into it Tosshi was. They didn’t include a few of the other abusive moments between Gintoki and Hijikata, but this prolonged scene made up for it.

This happened. I don’t know why cuz I didn’t understand what they were saying, but bless Director Fukuda for finding creative ways to include Zura into the Shinsengumi Crisis Arc. I hope he continues to do that in future movies. 

This happened too. Actually in addition to the Evangelion parody, there was another reference to another famous anime when they were in Gengai’s warehouse, but I just didn’t include it. I’ll leave at least one surprise for those of you still planning to watch the movie (you should. Seriously watch it. Totally worth your time and honestly, why are you even spoiling yourself by reading all this? Of course I appreciate that you’re doing that, but please don’t think this is enough so that you don’t have to watch the movie anymore. WATCH IT DAMMIT)

Kagura the Queen saving everyone’s ass. She is really so awesome in the movie, Hashimoto Kanna did her proud. 

 Baby Itou was adorbs in the manga, anime AND in the movie.

The movie proving Shinsengumi drinking parties are the bacchanalian feasts that we all assumed them to be. 

I wanted to take a moment to just say how freaking amazing Nakamura Kankurou was as Kondou. He really was a perfect Kondou. Man went all out in the dramatic moments, totally brought tears to my eyes. I pretty much cried every time Kondou cried. My only lament is that he didn’t have any scenes with Otae. There was a point during the Snack Smile Host portion where he was on a tank screaming about Otae, which I’m sure was him confessing his love all over again, but I would’ve really liked it if they actually interacted cuz the short scenes they had in the first movie were so adorable.

Obviously I loved the movie, but if I really had to point out a flaw, I would say the Bansai fight scenes could have been better scored and his fight with Gintoki could have been better. First, the music in his fight scenes...it was pretty bad. Like, weird, generic 80′s electrical guitar shit. I think they were trying to go for rock and roll, but it ended up putting a damper on what were otherwise really well-choreographed fight sequences. I wish they would’ve just used Otsuu’s music. They didn’t need to explain why, we fans would’ve known immediately. And then his showdown with Gintoki was kind of weird because they inserted a lot of bad CG because of his strings...which were ridiculously thick, as you can see. There were some Matrix slo mo too which...I’m just not a fan of after the first Matrix. I also thought they should have kept the fight near the train instead of bringing it back to Edo since it lacked the heightened sense of urgency in the original scenes where Gintoki was trying to save everyone on the train. But on the bright side, Edo looked freaking amazing....reminded me Xandar in Guardians of the Galaxy.

I cried. I cry every time we get to this moment, but this time, I felt especially sad because I kinda wanted this Itou to stick around for the next movie.

I am so damn glad live action Yamazaki got his opportunity to shine on the big screen because Tozuka Junki was so delightful in Mitsuba-hen. Btw, one big bummer of the bluray set is even though it had a second special features disc, it DIDN’T include the special episodes that were shown on dTV. I was hoping they would be nice enough to include them since the had a whole extra disc, but nope. It was like cast appearance and character profile stuff. Nice of course, but still wasn’t what I was really wishing for. I wish someone would sub those and put them online like they did with the Mitsuba-hen eps.

They were sitting back to back in the manga/anime...I can’t decide if this is better, the same, or worse. It’d be nice if they were at least sitting closer cuz they were closer when they were sitting back to back. I know, I’m insane. Whatever, I loved this movie. I want a third one. And a fourth and a fifth. With this cast and Director/Screenwriter Fukuda. 

So, please, Gintama gods, give it to us. And let it cover either the Yagyuu Arc, Vacation Arc or the Baragaki Arc. Or basically any arc that can build upon these last two movies and yet be self-contained AND most importantly, include the Shinsengumi boys and Zura. I would love the Popularity Poll arc to be brought to life, since then Tsukuyo can be involved, lest anyone think I’m purposely excluding her, I’m not, it’s just the Yoshiwara arcs don’t include the Shinsengumi or Zura at all, and I don’t know how they can reasonably add all of them in, even though I would LOVE to see live action Kamui and Abuto too. And the Courtesan of a Nation arc is too involved. Maybe we can do that for the fourth movie. Gods I wish the live action can be an entire series. I could watch this cast act out every chapter of the manga. It’ll be costly, no doubt, but it’d be nice. Omg, except for one dude, wow I almost completely forgot about him because I kind of want to. Live action Takasugi is NO GOOD. I know Domoto Tsuyoshi was (is?) popular, I know he has lots of fans, Sorachi-sama is probably one of them, but holy crap is he miscast as Takasugi. It was actually physically HURTING me to see his scenes with live action Bansai (Kubota Masataka) because Bansai was so perfect in comparison. I mean, everything was just wrong with LA Takasugi...down to the fact that when he first appears in this movie, we see his ugly bare feet and legs first. It was such an off-putting entrance and yet, somehow fitting. I wish they would just recast him since, from what I heard, he didn’t even want to be Takasugi to begin with. But otherwise, everyone’s wonderful. I really hope we’ll get an American release, if not theatrically (though I wish it would be) then at least VOD or BD/DVD so that I can finally understand what everyone is saying through subs.

Anyway, that’s my long-ass review of the second live action movie, Gintama 2: Rules are made to be broken. Thank you for reading, please see it legally when you are able to so that Fukuda-san and his team can make enough money to make another one. 

[powerdadbatman]

I am so sad about Ben Affleck not being Batman anymore, but at the same time I gotta remember that this kind of thing, recasting, happens all the time. I guess I was very emotionally invested in him being that character like Henry Cavill is Superman, but we should remember that these characters, like Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman transcend the actors that play them. There were always be versions we will love or hate. I love this version of Batman, maybe I will like the next version too.

I get where you’re coming from, anon. You’re right. I was into DC comics before Ben was casted as Batman. Hell, I didn’t even liked that he was cast at first. I enjoyed Nolan’s trilogy despite its flaws and I love Batman The Animated Series and Tim Burton’s take because it’s my childhood.

There are two reasons for why I’m feeling different than I felt with Nolan’s trilogy ending for example (and I was waiting for every movie with bathed breath, that’s how hardcore of a fan I am). One, there’s no closure. I was hoping for so long that we’d see more of Ben’s Batman. The production was set. The script was written down. Ben wanted to do this. And now we just… won’t see it. Someone else is gonna be casted and that’s that. I’d feel differently if I could go to cinema and kinda say goodbye, you know? If I knew there’s one more movie waiting for me and that’s it, I’d accept it. I wouldn’t be happy, but I’d have something.

Second, more personal reason: 

This is the iteration of Batman that got me into fic writing. I know it’s not a big deal for someone outside of fandom zone but you know what? It is a big deal for me. Even though I write barely comprehensive erotica and not some epic novels, the fact I wrote something and posted on the internet for others to see is huge to me. I don’t talk much about my personal life so you may not know this about me but I’m very insecure. I got better at it as I got older, I can fake self-confidence when necessary, but in reality I’m vulnerable. I wish I could explain how the simple act of creating an account on AO3 and publishing a silly fic was a big step for me. I’m a fucking adult for fuck’s sake. I should take pride in getting a promotion and having kids and buying a house and that kind of stuff. But I was at a point in my life when I wanted to do something creative just for myself, just for the hell of it, just to say oh yeah I have a fic on AO3, it’s still there I think lmao, I wanted to write it so I did. I’ve said it before but it bears repeating that I thought Glass and Patron would be my first and last fic. Just a fun little thing I did because I’ve been reading fan ficition for years and always wanted to do the same and there, I did it. 

But then… other people read it… and… were nice to me about? No one commented on my poor English skills? No one made fun of the sex scene? Not one person pointed out the weird sentence structures I was dying over but didn’t know how to fix? People read it and liked it and actually wanted to read more of the stuff written by… me? 

I know I’m very lucky and that some fic authors would sell a kidney for the recognition I got. I know because once I was a teenager getting into fandom, dying to create something but too scared to do so. My other writing (because I do write stuff beside fan fiction) didn’t get a n y type of praise. Well ok, my teachers were always impressed but that’s it. I didn’t win any contests, I wasn’t published anywhere, I didn’t get into my dream college. Now that I think about it, I did write a short fic years ago for another fandom, posted it anonymously on kink meme… and received one (1) comment about a typo I made and how I should pay attention to these things to show respect to my readers. 

And now, after posting my stupid as shit BvS smut? I get the nicest comments ever. I have readers I recognize and talk to. I made friends. People make fan art of my fics. People want to read more of my stuff. So, if there’s so many fic authors who get a fraction of the recognition I received… does it mean I’m… not the worst… person ever? That my writing isn’t garbage and that I’m… maybe… in some way…. talented? 

Don’t get me wrong, with that realization came a whole different set of issues, like how I’m failing everyone and how I shouldn’t even start if I only disappoint people who showed me nothing but kindness, and my process of writing is incredibly stressful because 274* people are subscribed to me on AO3 and that’s more than the amount of people employed at my firm and they all have expectations and shit one reader compared me to fucking Murakami how the fuck am I supposed to live up to that, oh shit being fandom famous is a gift that comes with a price, JFC am I fucked up or what. I live to fail expectations it seems because I fear success and failure at the same time. And oh yeah, I live with chronic depression, that could explain a thing or two.

I don’t know him personally, but I think Ben deals with similar doubts. We’re both Leos after all. Except that he got really, really bad reception. Not gonna lie, if I was him I’d resign right after the BvS shitstorm because I’m a huge crybaby. He’s a fucking champ for handling the pressure for so long even though it’s clear it took a toll on him but people chose to turn it into a fucking meme and I’ll never stop being bitter about it. 

So, to sum up, this is why I’m sad about Ben leaving the role. I treat it very personally, perhaps too personally. However, I believe the primary role of art is to make a connection. I made the connection with BvS. I made the connection with Ben’s Batman. And in some crazy turn of events, I made the connection with you guys. I had people saying my writing was the best part of their day or that I’m the reason why they smile after something really awful happened to them. One reader told me on AO3 about her operation she was scared of but my fics made her feel a little better and holy shit, I did that? I did that by sitting alone in my room and putting words together on my laptop? I’m even able to do that? Wow. Just wow. 

Don’t get me wrong, I will get over this but not now. Now I wanna mourn and cry becuase something that was important to me came to an abrupt end. 

*I just checked and the number jumped to 275 oh goooooooooood oh my goooooooood oh sweet jeeeeeeeeesuuuuuuuuuuus fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucking heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell

[this-glittering-world]

Okay so I the sequel to the Shamer's Daughter movie adaptation has just come out, and I'll be watching it in the cinema tomorrow, and I thought I'd write out my current adaptation opinions beforehand. Fair warning, it's super rambly.

okay so first things first, the plays were both excellent. I still listen to the songs on a regular basis, and they started my current habit of showing up every time Østre Gasværk adapts a new book for the stage (Pelle Erobreren last fall was such a great!)

they changed the structure a lot, from being 100% from Dina's perspective to where you could almost say it had three protagonists: Dina, Nico and Rosa. And I am 1000% in favor of that decision, because it was so obviously the correct choice, it worked so much better on stage that way. It meant you got to have juxtaposition! And the Min Familie song! And you got to see Nico before all the murders, which, considering he's my favourite character, I obviously enjoyed getting to see that part of his life

(sidenote, Dina's part of Min Familie is a little weak, because she doesn't really have family problems like the two others - except then in the sequel she does, and she gets a reprise, and I just love the concept of, even though it was years later, they remembered what they did with the original and they noticed that they had the perfect opportunity here)

The sequel's also structured very differently from the books, because they wanted to take three books and turn them into one sequel. And they totally succeeded, using mostly the plot from the third book, with some plotlines lifted from the second, and changing a few things around so Drakan is available for stabbing at the end and the fourth book isn't necessary. Also they whole cloth invented a plotline for Rosa, because she doesn't really get a lot of those in the later books? (it worked really well, was a good contrast to Dina's, and ended in a really great sad song.) And the end result, like the first musical, was an adaptation that was still recognizably the same story, but was structured in a much more ensemble-y way, because that works better in a visual medium.

the movie, on the other hand, kept the viewpoint squarely on Dina. But that's not to say they didn't make structural changes, because the bit where she's on the run played out super differently, it's just that that change didn't really seem to accomplish anything actually

just. why.

also it's sort of a really important plot point that Dina's mixed-race. The whole plot of the sequel is about her father. who is from a different country. But it's also relevant in the first book, which starts out with her being sad about not fitting in, not friendship-wise with the other kids in her village and not visually with her own family.

so of course they cast a white kid to play her in the movie.

The musical wasn't perfect in that regard, either, but it feels a little more defensible in that case, because it's more of a thing with plays that the actor doesn't always look quite like the character, that sometimes their age is 20 years off or they're a different race. (One funny example I've seen of this was at the Prince of Egypt stage play last summer, when Moses' bio brother was SE Asian as a child and then grew up to be white. But there's also the entirety of Hamilton, which did it deliberately for effect in a way a movie wouldn't.)

and the thing is, the kid they cast in the movie was genuinely really good, and it is really hard to find good child actors, so I can see why they picked her. But it's still not a great look.

(as a downstream consequence, I looked at the casting page and apparently her father's being played by a Eastern European.)

New topic: Everything about how Nico was portrayed in the movie.

Okay so the first thing we saw there was this super effective opening scene, where you see some blood soooowly trickling out from this room, and then this maid walks in there without noticing it like she's just doing her normal maiding routine, and she screams, and then bam we swap to Dina's perspective. Was really well done.

Another neat thing I noticed was how, you know how most movies when they cast people to play relatives the family resemblance tends to start and stop at the hair color. Not here, Nico and Drakan had different hair colors but vaguely similar facial shape.

(not that that'll be the case for the sequel, since Drakan's been recast. But that's not really the director's fault.)

A casting decision I am less happy about is the aging up. Because it means that instead of having spent a few years in his late teens ignoring his problems and using party culture as a coping mechanism, he's been doing that for at least a decade. Which turns it from "suboptimal problemsolving, but in a relatable way" to just kind of sad and pathetic.

One place where my headcanon disagrees with both adaptations is with Nico/Adela. They both make it so Adela reciprocates those feelings and is unhappy about her marriage, which, why? It just turns her into a traditional damsel in distress, and it doesn't even get you anything, Nico being a pining dork with an awkward crush is adorable all on its own.

(in my personal headcanon she might not be marrying out of love, but she's still choosing it, because she's politically savvy and it's the smart choice. And also she's nicer to Nico than anyone else around, which is not a high bar, and therefore he gets a crush.)

But that's not the worst Nico decision. That one comes at the end of the movie.

So. Our heroes got away from danger, and in the process Drakan and Nico had a short duel. Drakan was obviously more skilled, but Rosa helps and Nico gets a really good opportunity. And hits Drakan with the flat side of the sword, because of course he does, because he's Nico and that's what his entire character is, is not wanting to kill anyone, and also he grew up with Drakan and he might be a killer but — he can't — and then that's what Nico's entire character arc in the later books is about, is getting to a point where he's able to do that, where he's able to push the can't aside and know that this needs to be done to save everyone else. He gets there eventually but it takes him literally years and is a pretty compelling character arc.

Meanwhile, at the end of the movie, Dina asks him about it. Asks if he'll use the sharp end of the sword next time, if there is a next time. And he says yes, without any uncertainty.

On that note, I hope the sequel movie turns out okay. That Dina's arc plays out nicely, and that her father's lullaby is in there being the turning point it was in the book, being the moment she starts to see him as just a person. I also hope they do Davin and Nico's storyline well, but that one might be less likely since clearly they don't really Get the things I like about Nico.

[imaginedmelody]

I think I’m finally ready to try and write my “The Magicians” season finale reaction post.

I’ve been collecting my thoughts on this for the last almost-week, because I knew that this post would be a difficult one; it’s hard to sort through all the opinions and feelings and put them down in a way that makes sense. I’ll try to hit on my major takeaways under the readmore. Bear in mind that my reaction is mixed. Conflicted is the word I’ve been using. I really sympathize with the pain that much of the fandom is feeling, even if I don’t feel it on a level that’s the same (or perhaps comparable) to theirs. I’ll try to dig into that in this post a bit.

I’m a new viewer to this show, as I’ve said many times before. I tried to watch it two years ago, and found it confusing in that I felt like it failed to resonate with me even though I still felt strangely drawn to it. I would watch an episode, feel unsatisfied and only barely interested, but then the next day I would feel oddly compelled to watch the next one. After about 5 episodes of season 1, I gave up. I picked it back up again about 9 weeks ago; I guess I was one of the many viewers who came along because of 4x05, although I didn’t realize that was why I was pulled back in- I just started seeing more and more about the show on my social media again, and it was enough to make me want to give it another try.

This time, I was hooked. I marathon-watched the whole show in probably 4-5 weeks and loved almost every moment (except for a couple of the really distressingly disturbing ones). I was so moved by 3x05, “A Life in the Day,” that I wrote this post about how the show felt like a missing piece had slotted into place at the end of that episode; like a photo that you don’t realize is slightly out of focus until someone adjusts the resolution and it just resolves. I got caught up enough to livetweet somewhere around episode 7 or 8 of season 4, and have been enjoying my integration into the fandom, although I’m still very peripherally a part of it.

I say all this because, as a new viewer, the fallout of 4x13 has been...confusing. Not confusing as in “I don’t understand why this is happening,” but in the sense that the fandom’s collective grief can feel kind of alienating to new viewers. That’s not intentional on the part of seasoned fans, and it’s not something that anyone should feel responsible for or obligated to change. It’s just difficult because we have only just invested in the show. We may be devastated at the loss of Quentin, many of us for the same reasons longtime viewers are (the loss of queer representation, for instance, or the way it seemed to counteract the positive development of a mentally ill character). But at the same time, a lot of us are more positive overall, even if we think killing off that character was a bad choice. We’re still kind of wrapped up in our enthusiasm, so that our grief just feels like another strong emotion we’re feeling, rather than a betrayal. And it can be awkward because we don’t want to express that too boldly or strongly, because we don’t want to appear to be trivializing the grief of other fans. I think that’s an unfair position that the show, not the fans, puts us in. We’re already new to the community, and now we feel less engaged in what is very much a communal emotional response. Positivity feels like rubbing salt in other fans’ wounds. So we’re not sure where we stand.

I was in shock when the show killed off Quentin. Like most viewers, I couldn’t believe it. I waited for them to find a way to reverse it. It was like a hole forming in my heart when they didn’t. I mentioned on twitter later that night that I cry all the time when I watch TV and movies- literally, if something is in any way beautiful, or sad, or exciting, or happy, I’m getting teary-eyed. But once the credits roll and the story is done, my emotional response is usually finished too. If I’m gonna react to it in any other way, it’ll be intellectual (through meta or fanfic) rather than emotional.

But when this episode ended, I finished my cup of tea, went upstairs, and got in the shower. And all of a sudden, before I even knew it, I was crying. It had been 15 minutes since the episode ended and I was still emotional enough to cry. Since then, because I’m a glutton for emotion who likes to lean into anything that makes me feel strongly, I’ve rewatched the episode once and the “Take On Me” scene like eight times- and every single time I’ve cried, even if it’s just a little. It touches some raw emotional place in me that very few shows get to. And I think I’m in awe of that as much as I’m in pain because of it.

I never quite got to the outrage that other fans did, though. That could be for a number of reasons- less prolonged attachment as a new viewer (although I feel very attached to the show and characters); greater privilege to not feel personally attacked by the loss; just having more emotional energy to engage with the scene. But I felt simultaneously anguished and energized by the episode, including the death. It broke my heart, but it also pulled me in. It’s very confusing. I’m angry at how things increasingly seem to have been mishandled, and I’m disappointed at the fallout this has for the show and the fans, and I’m in disagreement with the validity of the choice. But I still feel engaged and almost excited by it. That’s a hard balance to reconcile.

It really does seem to me like the writers dropped the ball. The fact that they knew they were killing Quentin off bothers me, but actually, the thing that I find most galling is that the other actors weren’t in on the plan. We have it on good authority that they filmed a fake scene, where presumably Q comes back somehow, and all the actors were led to believe that was what was in the episode until two days before the finale, when they were told the truth for the first time. My question is: why? Did they not trust the actors to keep the secret? I can kind of understand faking out the audience, but why play that mind game with your actors, who are part of the creative team and should know what’s going on? Why deprive them of the chance to say goodbye to Jason Ralph as a fellow cast member? So far, in every interview, no one has really explained what the point of that fakeout was. If I was an actor on the show, I’d feel really upset about that.

The other thing that’s really been grinding my gears is something that I saw mentioned in comments before I ever saw it in context in the article (and thank you to everyone who helped me find the source). It’s a quote from John McNamara, one of the showrunners, from an article in the Hollywood Reporter, in which he says this about the decision to kill off Q:

“... in a way, I'm not sure what we would have done with the character had he lived.”

I took issue with that statement for two reasons. The first is from a writing craft perspective. I understand wanting to take risks and shake up expectations, and I understand that “kill someone off” is common writing advice when you get stuck in a project. But it’s my firm belief that the main character (and even on an ensemble show like this, yes, there is a clear lead character) should pretty much always be safe. Because the premise of the show is structured in some essential way around him; that’s why he’s the lead. And that’s why almost every show that gets rid of its main character, either by recasting or just removing and replacing with other characters, goes downhill in quality- because that original character was integral to the story.

I’ve said before that literally the only story I can think of that is better for having killed off its protagonist is friggin’ Julius Caesar. When I teach that play, we discuss at that moment in Act 3- and then again at the end of the play- what it means for the narrative if your title character dies halfway through his story. What it means that Marc Antony is the lead for the rest of the play. How Caesar is still so central to the plot even though he’s dead. Part of the reason this doesn’t work on TV- the reason the plot can’t still centralize the character they killed in the narrative- is because a play is a single self-contained entity that you consume all at once, and a TV series is, well, serialized. The show can’t keep centering a character who’s no longer present, because it wouldn’t resonate in a long-form narrative that you consume in small installments. That’s why shows that kill off characters don’t keep bringing them up. They throw in a couple of heartfelt moments that directly or indirectly reference the character, and then they move on and you’re supposed to let them go. A protagonist has to live to keep being important to the story.

So I am of the firm belief that if your main character has outlived his usefulness, the problem is with your narrative as a whole, not with that particular character. If you can’t think of anywhere meaningful for that character to go, you don’t need to kill him off- you need to restructure your whole story so that it’s responsive to him again. It doesn’t have to revolve around him all the time- the show has frequently centered around other characters prominently and effectively, and Q doesn’t have to be in the spotlight all the time- but if he’s no longer relevant? Your whole story has a problem.

But the second thing that aggravates me about that comment is this: not only do I think Q should not ever become decentralized and disconnected from his show’s narrative, I don’t think he has. The events of this season provided so much room to develop that character. He learned his discipline (minor mendings), which has tremendous practical usefulness as well as symbolic significance. “Escape From the Happy Place” reopened a potential relationship that contains a whole wellspring of emotional resonance as well as complication. His father died- you can do a lot with the grief related to that. His reconnection with Alice felt hollow to me, but even that could be useful narratively (especially if she goes on to lead the Library, which could create a layer of separation and potential for either teamwork or conflict of interest that could sustain several intriguing narratives). Even his tendency toward suicidal self-sacrifice could have been brought up; the conversation he had with Penny about whether he was trying to be a hero or just finally finding a way to kill himself could be had after a failed self-sacrifice attempt just as meaningfully as a successful one.

Quentin has been filled with potential this entire season in the storyline. All of this plus his emotional reckoning with Fillory in the scene where he brings the garden back to life... it seemed like the writers spent the whole season re-establishing all the potential Q had. It didn’t read like a season in which the writers didn’t know what to do with him any more. So the decision to kill him off does seem purely like an effort to challenge themselves as writers and wrong-foot the fans. Which I don’t think is enough of a reason to do it.

Because here’s the thing: I’m a writer too, and I understand that the dichotomy of pursuing your own writing vision and capitulating to the fans’ wants and needs is a delicate one. Writers hate being told what to write, and with social media and fan conventions and other very close forms of engagement, fans have more ways to make their desires known than perhaps ever before. They have every right to make the choice that supports their creative vision, and to do things that force them to stretch their limits as creators. But this feels like it went wildly off its mark. It feels less like an experiment and more like a careless move, and I think they could have approached it a lot better.

I wouldn’t rule out seeing Q again on the show one day. I think if they’re willing to fake us all out once, they’d do it again. I’m comforted by the fact that they appear to have consulted the author early in the process and gotten his blessing, although his comments since then seem to walk back his involvement or contradict what the showrunners have said. (Whether that’s because they’ve overstated his involvement or enthusiasm, or whether he was involved in the decision and is now trying to distance himself from the fallout, it’s impossible to say.)

What is less heartening for me is that some of these writers/creators come from Supernatural, a show that has gone on for far too long and has been retreading tired old ground for years. I only watched to about season 8, but it just feels like an endless cycle of similar plot arcs and killing off and resurrecting the same characters over and over again. The Magicians, admittedly, feels a lot more well-crafted, so I don’t think they’d get as lazy as SPN seems to be- but it’s still a worry, all the same.

(Side note: I am often adamant that unless it’s a legacy franchise like Doctor Who, most shows should intentionally be constructed to be a maximum of 5-7 seasons. I think a lot of broadcast shows are less high-quality because they are just vague pitches that get riffed into a show; the writers and creators don’t come into it with an endpoint in mind, so the show goes on as long as they can add any material at all to it or until they get cancelled, whichever comes first. That means that the plot feels aimless and unstructured. The difference between “prestige TV” and “regular TV” is not just better writing and acting overall- it’s that those shows tend to have a very defined arc, and they know where they’re going, so everything is in service of a common idea. Not just a vague and easily sellable premise that can have a ton of stuff derived from it with little effort. I think The Magicians sits above most broadcast shows in quality, but this is where it is starting to show its weak points. And that’s why I think the creators need to be very deliberate about making sure everything going forward contributes to a very defined arc.)

So that’s where I am right now. Emotionally a wreck; disappointed in the process of this choice and feeling the grief other fans feel; strangely invigorated at the same time? Unsure where to go from here, really. Still committed to watching the show as much as I ever have been, but wary at the same time. It’s complicated. But I’m ready to embrace the complexity of it.

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

No.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Two (20% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Eight.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

Not as bad as everyone seems to remember, but also, not good.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Martina barely has lines to start with, and she’s not even in the same country as Betty, so...no.

Female characters:

Martina.

Betty Ross.

Male characters:

Bruce Banner.

General Ross.

Joe.

Emil Blonsky.

Stanley.

Jim Wilson.

Samuel Sterns.

Tony Stark.

OTHER NOTES:

Bruce sees a bunch of guys harrassing Martina, and he almost walks away to avoid a conflict that could set off the Hulk, but then he thinks better of it and comes back to confront the guys and save the girl. It’s a shorthand way of showing the audience that Bruce is a good guy, not letting his own fear get in the way of doing the right thing, blah blah. I support that message, obviously, but I do wish they wouldn’t use ‘woman in jeopardy’ as their go-to method for proving something about a man. Martina only exists in the film for this purpose, she’s just a pretty prop so Bruce can prove his morals, and that’s not cool. Female characters existing only as props is not cool, and violence against women being used to demonstrate/further a man’s story isn’t cool either. Get a better lazy shorthand, movie. 

Lou Ferrigno cameo is clearly the highlight of the whole film.

At least 60% of Betty’s lines are just her saying ‘Bruce’ with different intonations, usually as a question. “Bruce?” she whispers. “Bruce?!” she calls. “BRUCE!!!” she screams. She also almost definitely yells it in slow motion with the sound cut out during dramatic climactic points in action scenes. I don’t know, I didn’t think to take note of that. 

Oh. This movie. It might be the first of the MCU films I ever saw, back before they had committed to the idea of actually doing a Cinematic Universe, so it was just ‘a Hulk film’ that I watched, filed as ‘bad’ in my brain, and never revisited again, even after the MCU got going in earnest and - years later - I got sucked into the vortex and wound up watching and re-watching all the movies in order. It’s easy to leave this film out of the chronology (and many people do); despite a totally pointless scene with Tony Stark at the end of the movie, it doesn’t actually tie in to the rest of the MCU in any meaningful way, and as an intro to the Hulk it isn’t really necessary: firstly, because most people who don’t live under rocks already know who the Hulk is from popular culture, and secondly, for anyone else, they get a perfectly serviceable introduction to him in his next film appearance (The Avengers), in which the role has been recast with Mark Ruffalo, who plays Bruce Banner/Hulk in every future MCU film and leaves this Edward Norton vehicle as a weird outlier better forgotten than incorporated into one’s understanding of the character. Edward Norton is a fantastic actor who has done so much great work over the years, but this was not a good role for him, and having rewatched this movie now nearly a decade after seeing it the first time, I’ll probably go back to giving it a miss whenever I trawl through the MCU. It’s a film with, basically, nothing to offer, neither as a standalone nor as part of a wider franchise. That’s a pretty sad indictment, but there it is.

Is this the worst film in the MCU pantheon to date? Probably. Not absolutely - I think the door remains open for debate (the other contenders for the title, we’ll get to in due time). The thing is, this movie is not as bad as history remembers it: most of it is actually fairly decent. Not remarkable, not impressive, but decent in the sense that it is stock-standard playing to expectation, it isn’t making any negative waves, it’s just there. The bad rep this movie has is owed almost exclusively to the way it ends, with an embarassing and meaningless Hulk/Abomination battle in which the CGI is absolutely not capable of upholding even the basic visual storytelling of two beast-creatures whaling on each other. Bonus features of that fight include: Hulk clapping his hands to put out a fire and SAVE HIS LOVE, and a truly abysmal use of the iconic ‘HULK SMASH!’ line. By the time the final fight mercifully ends, any and all goodwill the rest of the film had built up has been obliterated, much like the neighbourhood and the lives of all those poor collateral-damage civilians that no one cares about. Some beast-creatures whaled on each other in shitty CGI. That’s what we came for, right? 

What makes this ending so particularly bad is how out-of-place it is in the rest of the narrative. Yeah, we 100% EXPECT a Boss Battle at the end, because that’s the formula for these things, but the movie does a really awkward job of not actually building up to that climax in a meaningful way that lets it feel earned rather than perfunctory. Let’s rewind; the premise of the whole film is that Bruce Banner is trying to keep his Hulky genetics out of the hands of the military, specifically a program overseen by General Ross, who happens to be the father of Bruce’s former co-worker/lover Betty, because of course he is. This detail is not actually important for any reason, it’s just an excuse for Bruce and Ross to conflict over Betty like she’s a cool shiny object, because ultimately she has no more narrative function than Martina the hot Brazilian chick. Anyway: Bruce is on the run from Ross, Ross is on the hunt for Bruce so that he can experiment on him forevermore, and Betty is there sometimes to say Bruce’s name as a question. Ross chases Bruce with lots of army guys, Bruce Hulks out at various points so that the action sequences can involve more than Edward Norton running away, and there’s a long-term goal for Bruce in the form of getting some Science to another Scientist so that they can Science a cure for his Hulky genes and he can stop running once and for all (it doesn’t work). It’s not a very inspiring script. It’s fairly straight-forward and predictable, but there’s nothing especially bad about it other than the pointlessness of Betty (the same as this is a front-runner for the MCU’s worst film so far, Betty is a strong contender for Worst Inclusion of A Useless Love Interest). Norton may not be a great Bruce Banner, but he does a solid job of giving weight to Bruce’s plight, and the overall effect is at least passable as a film, if forgettable. The problem here is Emil Blonsky, the marine tasked by Ross to head the operation to capture Banner, and the man who eventually becomes the Abomination whom Hulk battles in that cringe-worthy film climax. And the problem with Blonsky is not that he’s some kind of weak link in the script. The problem is, he’s the best character in the movie.

Maybe it’s just that Tim Roth is too good for the material (he is), but Blonsky is easily the most dynamic person in an otherwise flat film, and he’s the only character whose narrative arc isn’t instantly predictable the moment he steps on screen. He’s a consummate soldier, all about the job, and getting into the thick of things himself to make sure it gets done right. His road to becoming Abomination begins partway into the film, as Blonsky grapples with the aftermath of his first encounter with the Hulk - for which he was brutally unprepared due to Ross’ failure to provide essential mission intel - which led to the death of many of Blonsky’s men. As Ross comes clean about the super-soldier serum experiments that created the Hulk, he plucks at a few delicate nerves, noting the physical toll that years of service have taken on Blonsky’s body. Blonsky laments that he can’t take the experience he has now and put it into the body he had a decade ago; Ross suggests that, maybe, they can arrange something kinda like that. It isn’t played as outright manipulation - Ross has just told Blonsky that there were other experimental treatments in the same line as Banner’s work, and Blonsky knows what conversation they’re really having and has already seen what the side-effects could be if it goes badly - but there is plain prompting from Ross, to say nothing of the treatments he then actively facilitates, most notably the second dose which he offers despite having originally stated that if Blonsky experienced any adverse effects (which at that point he has, in limited capacity) the treatments would cease. It’s a situation in which Blonsky rapidly loses his agency, and for which Ross isn’t even a little bit blameless. What’s significant about this is not just that Ross is the ‘villain behind the villain’ in this case, but that Blonsky really...isn’t a villain in the first place. 

Now, ‘villains’ in stories (and especially comics) who start out innocent/unlucky/well-intentioned and then become twisted are not uncommon, but the key to making those narratives work is that the story acknowledges the pathos of that journey; that this person never meant to end up as the villain, and it’s a sad turn of events that brought them down that road despite themselves. This is where things fall apart for this movie, because they kinda, oops, forgot to either (1) make Blonsky’s pre-serum behaviour clearly villainous, or (2) match his unwilling descent into villainy with a tone of empathy and regret for how his character has been turned astray. He isn’t presented as some paragon of goodness to be torn down, but he also doesn’t act maliciously or imply that he draws sadistic pleasure from his work. He consents to that first dose of serum, but it isn’t for evil reasons, he’s not bloodthirsty, he’s not going after the Hulk as a personal vendetta: the primary emotional motivation he displays is curiosity. He wants to get the job done, and he recognises the threat that Hulk represents, and he’s interested in finding out exactly what kind of a world he’s just been looped into. He may be antagonistically positioned against the protagonist of the film, but his intentions aren’t reprehensible from any angle. Thing is, the serum he takes is depicted as having a narcotic effect, impairing his judgment and fostering an escalating addiction that ultimately creates the Abomination; it’s all downhill for Blonsky after that first dose, the situation spins wildly out of his control, and he loses himself in the process. This is where the pathos should fit in as an essentially good (or at least neutral) person is lost to this drug, but it doesn’t. Instead, Blonsky becomes Abomination for the final act of the movie, and all of his characterisation evaporates so that he can just mindlessly smash things for no apparent reason. If he had been shown to be someone who engages in unnecessary violence and/or enjoys it at some prior point, then Abomination would be an escalation of existing villainous predilections, and it would work, but that isn’t the case. Where Hulk operates off an established base of anger/raised heart-rate/physiological response to heightened situations, and his destructive tendencies and absence of higher cognitive functions make sense in that context of reactionary hind-brain behaviour, Abomination has no established parameters or reasons for developing as he does, and searching the only information we have - Blonsky’s characterisation - for answers turns up no satisfactory results. Abomination’s rampage has nothing to do with ‘getting the job done’ (Banner is in Ross’ custody by that point in the film, in fact, so the job is already done), nor does it have anything to do with the Hulk himself - Blonsky and Banner never had specific personal beef with one another that would make a final confrontation meaningful (Bruce doesn’t even know who the Abomination is/was) - so Abomination’s entire existence feels pretty pointless. It’s just there so that Hulk can pick on someone his own size.

The final fight scene is objectively bad from a technical standpoint, with the dodgy CGI and the way-too-corny contrivances and the muddy uninspired visual mess of it all: it’s just plain bad to watch, but it is also not only devoid of emotional relevance or weight, it’s devoid of emotional logic. We’ve watched this process of Blonsky ‘becoming a monster’ in a literal sense, and it’s been the only part of the movie with any life in it (it’s not a deep well of complexity, but again, I think it works because Tim Roth is fucking making it work), but a boss fight is not a fulfilling conclusion to that narrative because we haven’t been given clear stakes in the outcome. Considering that Blonsky ends up a victim of Ross much the same as Bruce Banner is, it really should be Ross’ villainy that is ultimately defeated to bring us a satisfying conclusion, but the film forgets its own narrative in the course of pretending that Blonsky was the main bad guy all along, to such an extent that it bizarrely turns around and rewards Ross in the end. After transforming into Abomination, no one so much as suggests that Blonsky is still in there somewhere (his name is not even mentioned), he’s just a beast-creature now, and Ross gets to keep him and do all that fun experimenting that he wanted Hulk for this whole time, and no one challenges the idea. Remember how the whole movie was about Bruce trying NOT to get caught and experimented on forevermore by the military? Remember how that’s supposed to be a bad thing that Good Guys want to stop? Eh, who cares? Apparently not Bruce Banner, whose upstanding morals don’t extend far enough to want to save anyone else from the fate he has thwarted for himself. Not very heroic, just kinda leaving some other dude to take your place. As hardcore as Bruce was about keeping the formula out of Ross’ hands, etc, apparently he has no qualms about this derivative, and he just whistles on out of there, and that’s it. The end. Not a second thought for Blonsky’s fate, no fulfilling closure for Bruce’s ACTUAL villain beef with Ross, the bad guy gets what he wants and no one cares, the good guy completely forgets the ideals that he was fighting for the entire time and therefore kiiinda renders the whole journey of the film pointless, and worst of all, there’s no sense that the story comes to these conclusions deliberately, that it’s supposed to be off-kilter in any of these ways. It’s like they got to the final act and literally forgot everything that had happened in the film previously so they just stopped without actually closing any of the storylines, it’s a totally incongruous ending. 

I’ve focused largely on how much they screwed over Blonsky in this process because I considered him the film’s saving grace the rest of the time, but really, the ending screws over every character, theme, and narrative thread in the whole story, and that’s the huge disconnect that leaves the audience remembering a bad film, not just a bad ending. Granted, it wasn’t a good film to start with, and if you were less engaged with Blonsky than I was and you didn’t latch on to one of the other slim elements the story offered instead, then the whole thing turning to shit in the end really can’t have been much of a loss. It’s not that they didn’t, at moments, have the makings of something that might be good, or glimmers in scenes that suggested a quality idea that might have shone if someone had polished it a little better. For anyone reading this and going ‘well, don’t you know they had loads of behind-the-scenes issues with redrafting the script and other bullshit?’, yes, I am aware of that. Thing is, it shouldn’t matter. A 150-million dollar major Hollywood franchise project doesn’t get to use ‘oh, we just didn’t really bother making sure the script made basic sense before we filmed it’ as a valid excuse. If everyone’s doing their jobs properly the way they should be at this level of the industry, then the audience shouldn’t be able to see your BTS issues bleeding all over the finished product; major script redrafts should be a Did You Know? trivia point, not an ‘oh, NOW I get what went wrong here’ explanation. At the end of the day, no one cared enough about making this a movie that would matter in the long run for an expansive Cinematic Universe. Tanking the whole film into a forgettable mistake that viewers would gladly leave out of their Marvel marathons was, ultimately, the one thing they did successfully.

[theprocrastinatingalien]

Marvel Cinematic Universe - Ranking the first 18 movies.

We're nearly there, the movie event of the year is nearly upon us... AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR is out within the next week!

Like many, I'm ridiculously excited.  A little sad as I don't get to see it on opening day, I will have to wait until Monday 30th for my viewing... but seriously, the joygasms for this movie are pretty intense.

I've noticed many people/websites rating and ranking the existing MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) movies, and I couldn't help but do the same.  I'm not going to 'review' each film, although I will probably pass some sort of comment.

Whatever follows is, of course, purely my opinion.  Everyone has their own favourites, this list is just the order that'd I'd place these movies.  So let's get on with it.  The TOP 18 MCU MOVIES....

18. THE INCREDIBLE HULK

Whilst I'd rate the movie higher that Ang Lee's HULK outing, this movie doesn't quite live up to the rest of the shared universe in which it belongs.  The lasts act of the film devolves into what looks like a big budged computer game as CGI character bashes around CGI character.  It's not that I don't like the film, I just use it as the bench mark to compare all films in the franchise.  It doesn't help that I never believe that Edward Norton turns into Hulk in the same way that his successor Mark Ruffalo does. Plus that recasting really pushed the movie into being the forgotten member of the family.

17.  CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER

It's very possible I'm being unfair to this movie, but I've just never really rated it that highly.  The cast are good, for me it easily trumps THE INCREDIBLE HULK, but I always felt it was a little dull in places.  It's got a good heart to it, and Chris Evans makes his mark of the title character.  The sequels overshadow it vastly though.

16.  ANT-MAN

Whereas a lot of the MCU entries feature humour, I'd never class them as a comedy... ANT-MAN, to me, is comedy first. Paul Rudd is good in the role, I was quite excited by his casting, but sadly the film sometimes feels to me as if it's a parody of the franchises rather than being a part of it.  I prefer Scott Lang in CIVIL WAR over a film about it. The knock on effect is that I can't muster up much excitement for the sequel... yet.

15.  THOR: THE DARK WORLD

When I first watched TDW, I thought it was better than the first, but upon rewatching the movie just doesn't quite appeal in the same way.  There are some nice moments, but I don't find the Dark Elves compelling enough, nor an I excited about Jane Foster's involvement.  Chris Hemsworth is good as the God of Thunder, naturally, but this film will always rank at the bottom end of the scale I think.

14.   THOR

I feel mean rating this film so low - I loved it when it came out, but other movies just tend to surpass it.  It introduced us to Asgard, Thor, Loki... it has a lot to offer.  Just not enough to be higher on this list!

13.   IRON MAN 3

On the slipside, I was extremely disappointed with IMIII on my first viewing, yet until THE DARK WORLD, this trilogy closer grows on me each time I see it.  Knowing what's coming actually works to this film's advantage (such as the 'Trevor Slattery twist', and director Shane Black offers some beautifully shot scenes.  Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if this is once film that risings up next time I do this list.

12.   IRON MAN 2

Controversial, I know.  Many would possibly rate this movie at the bottom of the pile, but I think it deserves more credit. It doesn't stand up to rewatching in the same way that the third part does but it deserves it's dues... it's the first sequel.  Every other film is sequel now, but IM2 was the first to bring back a cast (albeit with Don Cheadle replacing Terrence Howard).  It introduced us to Black Widow, Sam Rockwell is great as Justin Hammer, we get more Nick Fury (following on from a simple cameo in the first), we get more suits, the birth of War Machine, and whether you like Mickey Rourke's Whiplash of not, the Monaco scene is pretty cool.

11. SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING

Oops... another controversial decision?  Expect this movie to be a lot higher?  Don't get me wrong, it's a good film.  I believe it cements Tom Holland as the best (or at least my favourite) Spider-Man.  The humour is great, Iron Man's role adds rather that detracts, the talking suit is a great addition, I'm on board with Marisa Tomei's younger, hotter Aunt May than we're used to... but for me something's missing.  It follows in some pretty big footsteps.  I'm still of the mind that Sam Raimi's SPIDER-MAN 3, whilst messy, wasn't a franchise killer and that the fourth movie should've gone again.  THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN was unnecessary - it did gives us Andrew Garfield's Spidey (and I believe him to be superior) and Emma Stone is a great Gwen... but the sequel was terrible, a total misfire. HOMECOMING... feels a little small.  I guess that's the point, but towards the end I found it not that well directed, and Vulture, even with Michael Keaton playing him, a weak villain.   I AM looking forward to the sequel in 2019 though - I wonder which Avenger will appear?!

Oooh, okay, here we go... we're hitting the TOP TEN!

10.  DOCTOR STRANGE

Personally, I really enjoyed Marvel's venture into the other magical realms.  I get why some don't like it (I'm actually not a massive fan of Benedict Cumberbatch's American accent) but I thought it was a fun origin film. I'm eager to get more magical stories!  It has great visuals, and whilst I was annoyed with her casting at first, Tilda Swinton's Ancient One is a highlight.  In time, with more viewings, I might end up lowering the my position for it, but right now it makes my Top Ten.

9.  IRON MAN

Everyone needs to be thankful for IRON MAN.  If it hadn't been a great origin film for the character, then the MCU wouldn't have been built.  IRON MAN, with Robert Downey Jr's charisma and Jon Favreau's direction became the foundation for every movie that has followed.  I wish I could rate it higher as I don't ever want it to slip out of the Top Ten... but the MCU has offered us some awesome movies...

8.  THOR: RAGNAROK

Unlike the first couple, RAGNAROK finds the right balance for it's lead.  Chris Hemsworth as got comedy game, which was never utilised properly.  Under Taika Waititi's direction, Hemsworth gets to shine.  It also brings in an adaption of PLANET HULK, with Hemsworth and Ruffalo working well.  Karl Urban is welcome to any cast, as is Jeff Goldblum... but it also swaps bland Jane Foster for Tessa Thompson's Valkyrie.  A potential future female Thor?  Maybe!   Also, Cate Blanchet's Hela is probably one of the best and watchable villains in the MCU yet. Will we see her again?

7.  BLACK PANTHER

I'll admit, I have only seen this movie once... whereas I've managed a second viewing of all the others to solidify my views.  Based on one showing, BLACK PANTHER is a stand out, for an individual hero it is the only besides IRON MAN that doesn't misstep, It has all the advantages of the most up-to-date tech, and it does an amazing job of developing Wakanda, with all it's characters serviced well - Okoye (Danai Gurira) and Shuri (Letitia Wright) particular highlights. Considering the country and it's inhabitants will serve as a major part of INFINITY WAR, this film feeds towards excitement to see more.

6.  CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER

This film changed the face of the MCU.  It destroyed SHIELD, a force that had been a thrust for the action since IRON MAN.  It's the first movie to be directed by the Russo Brothers, who are at the helm of INFINITY WAR, so it's important to see what they do here. What they do is make Chris Evans' Steve Rogers one of the most compelling and relatable heroes in the franchise.   He could've been pretty one dimensional, but this movie elevates him.  I believe until this movie came out, Robert Downey Jr/Iron Man was the symbol of the MCU, but THE WINTER SOLDIER puts Cap right up there. It also features more Scarlett Johansson, and introduces us to Falcon.  Those are good things to do.

5.  CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR

Like IRON MAN 3, I was disappointed with this movie the first time I saw it.  I had expectations, and it didn't live up to them.  Oddly, those expectations concerned the death of a main character.  The fact everyone got out alive (Rhodes was badly injured, but sadly this was shown in promos) was jarring as it took away the jeopardy.  it made me question, for the first time, if Marvel were just too scared to let go of a potential cash cow.  Luckily, INFINITY WAR has been confirmed to have some pretty high consequences, and what the Russo brothers do here is prove they can handle a lot of characters.  The Airport scene features twelve important characters share the same frame as they battle each other in what, ends up being quite an emotionally draining film.  Cleverly, this movie could easily have been an 'Avengers' movie, but instead is a Captain America movie, as his friendship with Iron Man is pushed to the limits.  Like IRON MAN 3, I appreciate this movie the more I see it.  The fact it has such a large ensemble brings added excitement, and pushes the film higher in my list.

4.  GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 2

VOL 2 deserved more praise than it got.  It follows on pretty closely to the Vol 1, and I think it is probably the perfect sequel to the first movie.  James Gunn expands on the relationships between the gang, deepening their friendships, love, and loyalty.  It adds great new characters (Mantis), whilst continuing to make you care about the existing ones... even the ones you may have dismissed in the first (Yondu and Nebula).  Also, I think Kurt Russell's Ego is great as Quill's father, and suitable massive for what is quite an intimate film.  It's a lot of fun, but riding on a lot of emotion.  And of course it has a kick-ass soundtrack.  Also... Baby Groot steals every scene.

Ooooh, look where we're at... the TOP THREE!!!!

3.  AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON

Another movie I feel is just undervalued.  I make no apologies for being a Joss Whedon fan.  BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, ANGEL and FIREFLY earned me his respect, and here, following up to the first movie, I believe he manages to make another amazing outing for the super team.  It has killer robots (voiced by James Spader no less) and a city floating high in the sky, about to wipe out humanity.  It gives us Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, as well as Vision.  Sure, there are some missteps in there, I'm not going to say it's perfect, but it's damn near. There's so many things to enjoy, people should stop looking for the negatives and allow themselves to devour the humour, emotion and geekiness of the film.

2.  GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

When this film was first announced, I scoffed.  I didn't know about the Guardians, and I hated the idea of a talking raccoon and an Ent... but from the first trailer I was sold, and the movie didn't disappoint. The music, the action, the actors, the characters, it all comes together and works.  Director James Gunn is quickly elevating himself to Whedon status in my eyes. In many ways this movie was a risk for Marvel, they originally billed it as a stand-alone.  Two solo films featuring these characters, and now we're faced with the gang mixing with the Avengers... and really, is anyone NOT excited by that?  Thor hanging with Rocket & Groot, Star-Lord quipping with Iron Man and Spider-Man... This is the movie that made INFINITY WAR reach the scale it's going for...

And finally...

1.  THE AVENGERS

There's actually not a lot for me to say. It's my favourite movie.  It's my go-to happy place.  I've watched it more than any film.   It brings Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk and Thor together for the first time.  And it makes it work.  Joss Whedon's writing is typically electric, Loki is a great villain for the movie and it was our first introduction to a hellicarrier.

Where will INFINITY WAR fall in this list?  Every bit of me wants it to be the best.  Instantly.  No rewatching.  I think it has the potential to be.  I WILL miss Whedon's writing, but I'm glad James Gunn was on hand to help the Russo Brothers with the Guardians' scenes.   I'm predicting Top 3.  In just over a week, I'll be able to tell you. How exciting!

[gamearamamegathons]

Dragon Quest V: Our Obligatory Trip To Hell

Circe here! This might be a bit of a long post, because I just went for the finish line this time. The first thing we need to do is go to a tower in the center of the world. Right away, I notice that the monsters here are quite a bit weaker than those in Emblem Cave. So, maybe the guide directed me there too early, I dunno. At this point I'm not going to complain that I'm having an easier time, though. Also, this appears to be the Zenithian Tower from DQIV, except it's kinda in ruins now. We find a magma staff here, and some guy tells us that we need to open the way to the sunken Zenithian Castle with it. Luckily, I know about where that is, so I use the staff to open a path through some mountains blocking the way.

Next up...minecart dungeon! This area has simple puzzles where you have to flip minecart track switches to ride minecarts to where you need to go. It's kinda fun in places, although there's no good way to reset the minecarts if you mess up and end up in the wrong place, so you end up having to just walk back to where you left the carts and bring them back. Which is less fun. Deeper into the dungeon, we find a guy riding a minecart in circles. When we flip a switch to let him out, he says that his name is Pusan and he's been stuck in that cart for 20 years. Which, uh, sounds a little unlikely. But okay. He comes with us, and we find our way to the Zenithian Castle, specifically by riding a minecart off a ramp into the lake. Seems safe to me.

At the castle, we discover why it originally sank from the sky. Pusan says that the revival of a dark lord or something damaged the castle, and one of the orbs powering it fell through a hole in the floor. In fact, it's the very same Gold Orb which fell from the sky aaaall the way back during our childhood. Remember that? Because, uh, I didn't. It's been a while since I played that part. Unfortunately, that orb was destroyed by Gema when he killed our dad, so there's no getting it back. But maybe we could ask the Queen of the Fairies, who originally created it. Hey, finally that side bit about visiting the fairies is going to pay off!

To find the fairies, we have to enter the Forest of Illusion, and guess what, we're back in dungeon hell. The forest is confusing and appears to loop in places, and it also introduces a fun new enemy called the Farewell Crag. This monster can cast Farewell, which destroys itself in order to revive and fully heal all of its allies. To make it even more ridiculous, two Farewell Crags can be in the same group, and can repeatedly revive each other.

I'm not sure who thought this was a good idea.

Luckily, it's not nearly as bad as I thought, because Farewell Crags don't appear that often, and can just be avoided when necessary. The other enemies here aren't so bad, so eventually I find my way to the land of the fairies again. Here, we are given the Faerie Horn, which can lead us to the Queen of the Fairies, who *isn't* here, apparently. We have to go to a lake near the Zenithian Tower and ride a boat out to a lotus and use the horn there. Yes, I'm using a guide again at this point. When we meet the queen, we learn that she can't make another Gold Orb. But she can make an innert glowy orb, and she tells us we might be able to do something with it. And that something is, of course, time travel. Yeah, okay, sure. We travel through a painting and go back to our childhood. We find our younger self, and switch the Gold Orb with our useless one, and return to the present. And now we're golden. I guess. If you think time travel is going to become an important element of the story, well, no, that's the last time it comes up.

The important thing is that once we put the Gold Orb back in place, the castle rises back into the sky, and we can fly it around! So that's pretty cool. This lets us reach a new location, Boble Tower. Except that we need to climb down through the top with a grappling hook. Inside, there's a big dragon head statue, and we need to travel down to the basement to fight two bosses guarding its eyes. The first boss was pretty trivial and I didn't even write down his name. The second boss is Gema, the guy who killed our dad and sold us into slavery. He was, uh...surprisingly easy to kill. Kind of anticlimactic too, for a character who had such a big impact on the plot, he doesn't get any kind of death scene or anything. But this does allow us to put in the dragon's eyes and get inside it, where we find the Dragon Orb. We return to Pusan with it, and find two Zenithians saying that he's suspicious and nobody knows who he is. He asks for us to give him the orb, and of course it looks like he's going to turn out to be evil and he just tricked us into getting the orb for him or something. But actually, no, he's the Master Dragon, who's basically...god? I dunno. Once he turns into a dragon, he gives us some bells that let us summon him and ride him around. What does this get us when we already had a flying mode of transport? Well, first of all, he's a fucking dragon. That's awesome. But second of all, this lets us reach this weird temple, which is the same one we were building back when we were a slave.

There's a run of boss fights here that are pretty easy, but along the way, Lamira learns Bedragon, that spell that lets her turn into a dragon and automatically breathe fire on everything. So that's pretty sweet. In fact, it turns out that an item I found in Boble Tower, the Dragon Staff, can cast Bedragon basically for free. Useful. Eventually we reach Ivol, the evil priest guy of the temple. He's actually fairly tough, but I'm able to pull out a victory. He leaves behind a Ring of Life, and our mom is able to talk to us through it from Hell. She tells us that we should give up on trying to go to Hell and save her, but like, that would be no fun. So we go to Hell. First thing, though, I need to get the other two rings, the Ring of Flame and Ring of Water, from way back in the game. This is unfortunate, because it got sent to the item depository, and I've never used one in the whole game. So, uh, it took me a bit to figure out how to get it.

Now, finally, that water cave from earlier is going to become important, because we can put a ring on each statue, and travel to Hell! As you'd expect, it's got exactly one town to rest at and a whole bunch of really strong monsters. There is one saving grace though: we're given the Sage Stone when we enter Hell, which we can just wave around to instantly heal the whole party for free. Naturally, my hero character spends the rest of the game using it every turn. This does ease things up a bit, but the final dungeon is still pretty rough, and very very long. Partway through, we end up meeting the hero's mom, finally...but then she dies trying to stop the demon lord. So, uh...that sucks. I don't have much to say about it, other than that the game is again weirdly anticlimactic about its plot points.

My first time through the final dungeon, I end up party wiping at a miniboss before the final boss. The second time around, I preserve my MP by mostly running away from everything, which works out pretty well. Finally, it's time to confront Mildrath, the demon lord. His first phase is pretty easy, especially since I have free healing and free dragon-being. His second phase is a lot rougher, but shockingly enough, I'm able to mostly survive just by continuing to wave the Sage Stone around a lot. In both phases he regularly dispels all buffs, which removes the Bedragon effect, but I can recast it instantly and for free, so the bigger issue is that I can't really afford to keep recasting defensive buffs. Eventually I just go it with the Sage Stone only and hope it'll carry me through. My hero ends up dying, and I'm pretty sure I'm fucked, but then Mildrath dies on the very same turn. So that was convenient.

After that, we go back to the surface to celebrate, and become king and stuff, and it's good. Sooo...I'll get right into my thoughts on the game. It might be obvious at this point, but I feel like this is kind of a step backwards from DQIV in terms of storytelling. DQIV spent a lot of time setting up characters and getting us invested in them, and in DQV, the story seems to bend and warp around our single mute protagonist, while other characters often feel rushed and incidental. The game is clearly trying to do something big by showing a story taking place across multiple generations, but they don't appear to know how to build that plot structure organically, so the characters feel like they're being moved around like little chess pieces. And despite all that, the game's plot ends up pretty cookie cutter. All the stuff that's referenced from your childhood is just a lot of callbacks, it doesn't feel like the threads are being tied together meaningfully. There isn't even that much weight given to fighting the monster who killed your father and ruined your life. It all just feels...rushed, and sloppy. And a lot of the novel additions to the game's formula are just, excessively sad for no especially good reason except shock value, I guess. From this entry I never would've guessed that the series had finally hit its stride in the previous entry, despite the limitations of the NES.

Mechanically, it doesn't really stand out either. The big new mechanic for this game was supposed to be monster recruiting, but just like with DQIII, I was too intimidated by the prospect of grinding up brand new characters to bother with this more than I absolutely had to. From seeing forum threads about this game, it looks like you're kinda expected to be recruiting powerful monsters by the endgame, but the final third of the game also gives you a full party with your two kids. I don't really get it. I was able to win with them just fine, albiet by the skin of my teeth. Maybe that's my fault for trying to rush through the game, but I just wasn't able to feel excited by the whole monster recruitment thing.

It must be said that Mildrath was a lot less impressive than Necrosaro as well. Necrosaro had a lot of plot buildup, and the spectacle of fighting him legitimately impressed me. Despite now having the muscle of the SNES, DQV's boss only has two phases, and I was able to get him into a somewhat stable loop that didn't really use much MP and let me just repeat a series of actions over and over again with minor tweaks. I was probably underleveled; if I'd leveled up just a bit more, it might've been possible for me to fight him indefinitely and with no use of resources. Again, all I can say for DQV is that it feels like a step down from the last game.

But hey, maybe things are going to look up. Next is DQVI, the very first game in this marathon that I've played before in some capacity. That was the remake, though. This will be my first time seeing the original. Here's hoping it's more compelling.

[erdariel]

An old fantasy/adventure tv show (old as in from the 80s), I rather doubt you'd know it, called Robin of Sherwood. Lasted three seasons (should've been four but it was cancelled, but that's beside the point). As you probably can guess by the name, it was a version of Robin Hood. With its own fantasy twists.

Anyway, in the second season's final episode, "The Greatest Enemy" they had to kill off Robin Hood. This was because the actor playing him wished to leave the show (for some Broadway teather adaptation of The Three Musketeers, funnily enough, in which he played d'Artagnan, but I'm again straying off from the point) and they didn't want to just recast the same character, but have another character entirely decide to become Robin Hood. The fact that the actor was leaving the show actually came up a bit late, at a point where the second season was well into production already, and there was already a script for the final episode, which had to be almost entirely rewritten.

The plot of "The Greatest Enemy" starts basically like this: The Sheriff of Nottingham receives a message from King John, where the King demands him to get rid of Robin Hood once and for all. I'm pretty sure the message included John threatening to execute the Sheriff if he failed, too. Meanwhile Herne the Hunter (a shaman/forest spirit/pagan god/whatever that sort of acts as Robin's mentor in the magical side of stuff) comes to Robin and says something very cryptic that once you know that Robin's gonna die, you'll understand is a warning about exactly that.

Basically all the episode consists of is the Sheriff's troops hunting the outlaws. They end up capturing four (one of whom they capture while he's trying to rescue the others. Oops. Even an ex-assassin can't win when plot demands he loses, I guess). The three others - Robin, his love interest Marion, and his little brother Much - are chased until they find themselves in a situation where they can't run anymore and they're surrounded. Robin gives his magic sword (it's a really lame magic sword to be honest. There's only like two episodes where the magical powers are at all relevant, otherwise it's just a sword) to Marion and tells her and Much to escape, since the Sheriff's men don't dare come within the range of a longbow while Robin still has arrows, so he can cover their escape.

Then Robin makes an awesome last stand and is killed, while the new Chosen One Robin Hood rescues the captured outlaws and stuff. The outlaws have some sort of funeral (well, they don't have a body to bury, but they shoot flaming arrows into a lake while sad music plays, so same thing) for their fallen leader, and that's the end of the episode and the season.

And that episode works. It's tragic and it's beautiful and it works really well. As the episode goes on, it becomes pretty clear to the audience that no matter what the outlaws do, this time they can't win. No in-character action any character appearing in the episode could take would change it for the better. Really, the outcome we get is probably the best-case scenario, because only Robin dies. He doesn't die in vain, either, but his sacrifice allows Marion and Much to live, so it's also a heroic death, but I feel that even if all three of them had died in the episode, it would still have worked.

And it still makes sense that that's the only time Sheriff ever manages to both catch and kill Robin Hood and end the whole thing for good. Usually in the episodes where he appears, his primary goal is something else, which the outlaws try to prevent him from doing, and capturing or killing the outlaws is a secondary goal. But in The Greatest Enemy, killing Robin is his only goal, and this time he's driven to work for it because his very life depends on it.

Mind you, I'm not saying this solution would necessarily work in The Musketeers, because the setting and characters are so different. Most of the time to make a character death work you'll need to make a plot that isn't just "Let's kill character X". But trying to make an episode look like it's about subject Y when it's really about killing character X works even worse. And in the setting of RoS, "Let's kill character X" does work, and I dare say it works specifically because they devote the entire episode to it. If they'd tried to make the episode look like it was about, idk, Nasir's past as an assassin (which is what it should have been about originally. It's still hinted at in the episode, but not explored), but then the actual purpose of the plot had been to end up in a situation where Robin died, I would definitely have felt like I'd been cheated. But they said "Look, this is the one where Sheriff really wants to kill Robin, and that's all he wants now" and then Sheriff killed Robin. So I feel like I got what I was promised, in a way that worked within the setting.

Okay now that I think about it, I can actually think of one single tv show I've seen where the point of one episode was literally to kill off a main character. But that show has nothing whatsoever to do with Musketeers and handled the whole thing differently. Like s3e9 of Musketeers tries to make it look like it's about the King's death or stuff when it's about killing Treville. That other show very explicitly makes it the villain's only goal in the episode to kill the character that's gonna die

Ohhhhh. Which show was it? 👀

[tinyryder]

Reality Bites vs. How to Make An American Quilt: A Cross-Analysis (sort of)

I wasn’t going to post this but @free-winona made me. Peer pressure is bad

So I’ve always gravitated towards Reality Bites and How to Make An American Quilt in terms of movies that Winona Ryder has made. And why not? They’re pretty great films, and to me, they showcase Winona’s acting abilities the best. Here she is, playing characters her age, characters that could easily be incarnations of Winona if she hadn’t chosen to pursue acting. And moreover, her characters are everything we wish we could be in our twenties, even if they’re ordinary people: they’re smart, kind, dedicated, passionate, and (frankly) adorable. They’re disorganized and unfocused and awkward at times, but people still love them. And I, as a twenty-something, can relate to these spirited twenty-something characters.

But recently, I’ve realized how similar these two characters really are. And what does an academically-driven person do when school is out? Write a fucking essay. Here’s my cross-analysis of Lelaina Pierce from Reality Bites and Finn Dodd from How to Make An American Quilt (thanks Kayla for pushing me to do this).

Now the first and most obvious similarity is the fact that Winona did these movies one after the other, with only Little Women between the two. Winona apparently got a lot of flak for playing the same character over and over again, and maybe these two movies is where that comes from. And maybe I’m biased, but I really don’t see the validity in that argument. Here’s a brief timeline of that part of Winona’s career: she did three period pieces in a row (Dracula, The Age of Innocence, and The House of the Spirits), then came Reality Bites and American Quilt with another period piece in between the two, and two movies after that, she did another period piece with The Crucible. Yes, you can argue that characters can be similar even though some wear corsets and participate in high society drama while others wear muscle tanks and drink Diet Coke like it’s their job, but it just seems irrelevant to compare them and to allege that Winona acted herself into a corner, so to speak. She was a twenty-something at the time, so I think it’s natural for her to gravitate towards roles that she can relate to. Anyway, I’m done with this point, moving on.

The second similarity is the fact that both characters are twenty-something’s adrift in their careers. Both Lelaina and Finn struggle to make the right choices, and encounter pitfalls along the way. They both have passion, but it’s a little misguided, especially in Finn’s case. Part of her character arc is “will she or won’t she finish her Master’s thesis.” Lelaina’s main pitfall is that she is easily discouraged. She overhears her boss criticizing her and immediately sabotages her job, and then she applies for a few jobs and immediately gives up when that doesn’t work out.

The third similarity is that both characters are at the center of a love triangle. Yeah, I don’t wanna talk about it either, but it needs to be said. Lelaina must choose between Troy, her slacker, philosophy-douche best friend, and Michael, a career-driven young man who works for a TV network not unlike MTV. Finn must choose between Sam, her sort-of-fiancee (he proposes pre-beginning-of-the-film and she immediately flees to her grandmother’s house for the summer), and Leon, a guy from her grandmother’s town who we never really get much about other than he sells strawberries or something? I don’t know. In the end, they both choose the familiar option, although not the best. And that takes us to our next argument.

The third similarity is that they both chose the wrong guy, at least in my opinion. Troy is somewhat mean-spirited and douchey, and also lazy, but goddammit if he doesn’t have those puppy dog eyes that ultimately win her over. And let’s not forget that creepy song he sang about her in the club in front of everyone (why can’t you get just one kiss? BECAUSE YOU’RE AN ASS, THAT’S WHY). Also that one moment where he says he’s in love with her and then is like “JK, fuck you lmao.” Finn’s fiancee is never really given much characterization other than the fact that he’s a carpenter. But he’s the wrong choice for several reasons. Firstly, when Finn balks at his off-screen proposal, she asks for some time to work things out and work on her thesis and they agree to reconvene in September. But guess who’s back after what I can only assume is a few weeks with blueprints of their new house (which includes a room for a future baby. Yikes). He gets mad at her when she continues to balk about plans for the future, which I can understand. They have their little fight and he drives home and she tries to call him to apologize, but another woman picks up the phone. It’s later explained that she dialed the wrong number (back when no one had cell phones and we actually had to remember phone numbers), but I don’t believe that. From what little we see of him, he seems like someone who doesn’t respect her space, which is a problem I can only see getting worse once they’re married. This does not mean that I think Lelaina should have chosen Michael, or Finn should have chosen Leon. All these men kinda suck in my opinion. In an ideal world, Lelaina should have gone gay for her best friend Vickie and Finn should have ditched both guys and focused on her career.

Yet another similarity is the fact that both see their career crumble. They both have lofty aspirations, but these aspirations don’t win out in the end, which makes me sad. For Lelaina, she graduated valedictorian of her university, but still finds herself as an assistant to an asshole talk show host. She eventually sabotages this job and gets fired with the knowledge that she was going to be fired eventually anyway (a point which NO ONE seems to remember when talking about her actions, I mean come on). She briefly searches for a job, finds nothing, and spirals into a chain-smoking, TV-watching, cheese-curl-eating depression, which also includes running up her phone bill by talking for hours on end with a tele-psychic. It gets even worse when she gives Michael, Love Interest #2, the footage of her precious documentary and he and his evil MTV-esque corporation edit it into unrecognizability. For Finn, she is, I’m assuming, a grad student at UC Berkeley who is supposed to be writing a thesis, but keeps changing the topic. Things are further complicated when she loses her thesis in a windstorm (this was in that unimaginable time when laptops weren’t very popular) and is forced to start over. We never actually see either character’s career pan out, which is my last point.

Last but not least, both characters’ careers are never really resolved. Coincidentally, the resolution is tossed aside to answer the burning question “which guy will she choose,” which pisses me off to no end. In Lelaina’s case, after her disastrous documentary premiere, she falls into the arms of Troy. There’s some angsty back-and-forth, but she ultimately ends up with him and career what? She is seen moving apartments with him at the end and eagle eyes can spot the nicotine patch on her arm which tells us she’s giving up smoking and getting her shit together, BUT WHAT ABOUT HER CAREER. Then there’s the fact that Michael steals the premise of her documentary and recasts it with Lelaina and Troy clones. I guess artistic copyright isn’t a thing. Then there’s Finn, who loses the draft of her thesis in a windstorm and decides to start over, but again WE NEVER SEE THAT. All we get is that she goes back to her fiancee and decides to marry him, despite overwhelming evidence that this is a Bad Idea.

Alright, I’m getting angry, so I’ll stop writing now. All in all, I love these films. I love these characters. The films and the characters have their problems, but it’s comforting for me to see that life can work out okay sometimes.

[thesharondefenseleague]

So i dont think Marvel will want to ever stop cranking out these movies but the actors contracts won't last forever and i think Marvel has stated they wont recast anymore. So once a actor leaves his/her character is out. I might be wrong about that but assuming im right who do you think will be the next set of superheroes/villains? Dont include any current heroes or confirmed projects (So for ex Capt. Marvel wouldn't count unless you going with the second one)

-Young Avengers are a definite option, though that would require 1) A reason for Tommy and Billy to get their powers that aren’t, well, similar to their mom and uncle, and 2) Fox Studios signing the rights of the Fantastic Four to Marvel Studios, because Skrulls fall under that umbrella, therefore they own half of Hulkling. But the easy part is their teammates are their villains (Nate/Kang and Loki).

-Champions, the current series, is a good place to go. You won’t have a young Scott, but I’m sure it can be done without or with a replacement. Viv Vision is such a captivating and sad character to put onscreen. And they have some sort-of established through others (Amadeus through Helen, Viv through Vision). They can be the other main team.

-She-Hulk. Don’t know if they’ll do it more like Bruce for once or keep her in a way she can be easily sexualized in Hulk form, but everyone loves the Big Green Giant.

-Angela, Thor and Loki’s long-lost sister, is on my list of things Marvel needs to put in their MCU. It has everything. Space. A lesbian couple raising their daughter who has a demon dog. Badass fighting. A gay transwoman of color. Magic. At this point, if there’s space and/or magic, it’s gonna be a Marvel movie, and this one should be.

-The actual Age of Ultron storyline, where he returns and they try to stop him by stopping the creation all together, but fucking up everything when they do. I’m already writing that as a fic, but that comic is one of my favorites and is one they can adapt pretty faithfully (minus not being able to use Invisible Woman of Wolverine, of course). But this is the one I think they can fully do as a feature film without cutting major parts or losing the impact of what happens.

-Of all the Spider characters, I’d want Silk adapted first, but Miles should be, because his uncle was a fantastic villain.

-If they do Black Widow, it should be the Edmondson/Noto series, which is by far the best, with Kathryn Bigelow directing. If they don’t do that, then I expect Yelena Boleva to be the villain to whatever they do.

-A-Force. Badass lady heroes versus equally badass lady villains.

-A three-part TV special about the Bradleys. Start with Isaiah pre-WWII surviving the Super Soldier Serum experiments and being the stand-in Cap before Steve comes into play. Josiah in the 60s and how his position as the then-Cap impacted the tumultuous racial tensions of the time. Eli now being the Patriot continuing the family legacy and being the face of hope and justice for those who need it.

I’m not trying to think of villains they could add in because so far, there’s only been one good (Loki) and one decent (Ultron) while the rest were soul-sucking and predictable. I’m not getting my hopes up. Just Yelena and Kang, because they’re too hard to screw up.

-Mod R