#to the point where I think she got kind of desensitized to the idea especially where Ianthe was concerned

[procrastinationaccount]

Wait, have we considered how fucking repulsed Harrow would/will be at the sight of Ianthe Naberius? Literally the antithesis of what she tried to do in HtN, making the empty shell of her cavalier a monument to her own ambition and an instrument of her power. Like hghhhhh. She disdained Babs in life, her only positive memory involving him was Gideon knocking him down, but if/when she sees him being used as some grotesque puppet I think she's going to blow a fucking gasket.

[prsk-krow]

I have a funny idea!

But first of all, I am addicted to your blog rn

Anyways to maks things quick, I would like to request a (Ena x Reader) (Mafuyu x reader) where Reader constantly gets nightmares ever since they were a child and has gotten used to it to the point that they think its normal? They'll make jokes about it and be confused why everyone is looking at them concerned. When Reader casually told the gals that they had another very gory(?) nightmare as if it's just another normal day, and then, Reader tries to guess what kind of nightmare they'll get later tonight, completely normal. (Mafuyu) (Ena) then just looks at Reader with a questioned/conerned look.

Once again, lowering the characteristic a bit to not step into crack territory! Caw.

{Mafuyu/Ena with Reader desensitized to nightmares!}

Mafuyu Asahina

Mafuyu had always been desensitized to a lot of emotion inducing experiences, like mystery horror tours or the stress before a test. It wasn't a surprise for her anymore to see the difference in her reactions to the rest of the people around her.

So she was interested to see what her friends thought about or felt about the world around them, in the form of questions. This was especially true whenever they told her about things like past events or experiences, much like your nightmares!

Whenever she asked anyone about nightmares, she remembers how uncomfortable or scared the voices of her coworkers get when telling the experiences. From their descriptions, Mafuyu can understand the fear factors in these visions, much like their reactions in the mystery tour.

So whenever you talked about your unnaturally common nightmares as if you were desensitized... Wait, were you actually desensitized like her? That wasn't what she expected out of you!

"Hm. So, it's a common thing, huh? And thanks to the common occurrences, you're used to it. I see, how... Interesting... Ah, excuse me, you're getting me thinking."

It gets Mafuyu thinking about her own state, how common occurrences got her to a worse degree of numbness than yours. It gets her to ask about your nightmares every single day, something unusual for her: Curiosity.

Listening to your tales of what your mind conjures up isn't the most fascinating of ways to spend her time, but it's progress that she wishes to make to understand her emotional situation. Perhaps, with you, she could take a step in the right direction...

Ena Shinonome

Ena's creativity can play a lot of tricks on her, especially in the form of occasional nightmares and dreams that are of the most bizarre kinds. It's no wonder then that; for one of the most easily scared members of N25; she wouldn't like the concept of nightmares at all...

Sometimes, the topic would arise in Nightcord discussions, and it would certainly make her the most uncomfortable, as the other scaredy cat in the ground didn't sleep (well) enough to get them!

It did get her to desire someone else to share her troubles about it with, so she decides to talk about it with you, hoping to find someone else to sympathize with about the ordeal! But the response that she receives is way different from what she expected...

"... Wait, e-eh? What do you mean, i-it's so bloody you can't e-explain it?? And what's with that expression!? Almost as if they didn't happen-... But then, why are your s-stories so detailed..."

She is in denial at first, as you quickly realize how you can use this reaction of hers to your advantage. Enter many days afterwards of telling her about your nightmares with every detail possible without her asking for it.

You have never seen Ena so frustrated, yet so helpless that she can't even start screaming at you or scolding you! And the rest of Nightcord pick up on it: Whenever they accompany Ena, expect her teasing coworker to ask about your latest dreamworld experience.

Soon enough, you'll run out of material and have to slow down a bit to make sure to keep it up. She finds your dedication to the bit annoying, and does plan to get even with you someday...

Interesting, I didn't expect to write so much Mafuyu... Gotta keep it in mind, caw.

[infernalrevenge]

I've never seen anyone talk about it before and I always love your takes on the characters of RE8, so I'm curious about your opinion on this: what do you think Mother Miranda, the three other Lords and Dimitrescu's daughters would see under the influence of Donna's hallucinogenic flowers at House Beneviento? Their minds are already pretty effed-up and they've most certainly been desensitized to a lot of traumatizing things already, I have a hard time trying to figure out what kind of absolute nightmare their worst fears would look like...

Yooo this is a really interesting thing to ponder over, especially since the characters have different experiences and traumas associated with them, based on what we know from canon. But I love the idea of their abstract fears materializing before them, because regardless of what you've been through there has to be something that really shakes you. A lot of them are probably more mental than physical fears.

Hint: I think all of them have one thing in common, and it's that they fear being powerless.

(CW for generally disturbing content, but nothing described too graphically)

For Mother Miranda, I can imagine a version of what Ethan went through in Donna's portion of the game happening to her, but with some adjustments. She was a grieving mother who did everything in her power and reach to try and get her daughter back -- what if she got what she wanted, but not what she expected? A hallucination of a "successful" revival of Eva that goes horribly wrong, and the little girl before her turns into a giant writhing mass of flesh -- an amalgamation of her former creations -- angry, in pain, and easily able to overpower the priestess. No matter how fast she runs, no matter where she hides or escapes to, it always finds her... and it's hungry.

Alcina Dimitrescu already went through a lot in the game itself, unable to stop her three beloved daughters from dying in her own home, where they were supposed to be safe. She's one of the most powerful people in the whole damn village, most likely even the country or the world... but she couldn't stop Ethan Winters from coming in and killing her family in cold blood? I think her greatest nightmare plays into that, but this time, she actually has to watch them die right in front of her. She has to sit in the sidelines as some pathetic manthing smashes every window to let the biting cold in, and she's literally frozen in place, helplessly watching the lights in her daughters' eyes start to go out. She sees a slow, painful demise at the hands of someone she can easily dispose of if only she could fucking move! But she can't, and she's not sure what hurts more -- her aching muscles from being forced to stay still, or experiencing the sickening mix of heartbreak and grief over and over and over again.

This might be a cop out but I'm putting all the Dimitrescu sisters in the same point, since I think they at least have a similar nightmare/fear. I'm having a hard time deciding between watching their mother be the one to suffer at the hands of a mere mortal, or having the tables turn on them where the predators become prey, though the latter is more fun to play with. They enjoy the hunt, the thrill and all the rewards that come with it. They all have somewhat of a sadistic streak to them (maybe one more than others) but they clearly hate the inconvenience of being hurt. But it's not just an inconvenience when you're the one running for your life, unsure if you're in the clear or still being followed. And at this point, they would've been split up, so they can't call for their siblings' help. They're all alone and unable to fend off whatever could be coming for them so all they can do is run. They just don't know how long that tactic will last them.

Karl Heisenberg may be one of the easiest for me to think of? In a way, he definitely fears Miranda, and it's why he bides his time making such a powerful army and weapons in order to take her down. He knows what she's capable of, and he doesn't want to take any chances. His greatest fear is not just a crushing and embarrassing defeat at the hands of Miranda, but spending an eternity as her favorite subject for vivisection. His powers have been stripped away, all but his immortality, so he really is going to feel every incision, every injection, every painful mutation forcing its way through his body... and Miranda just watches with smug astuteness, notebook in hand as she jots down the horrifying changes take place. At least she found a way to make him useful.

Salvatore Moreau is, let's face it, very traumatized and also very dependent and needy. Still, he's a lord (in title) and he wants to be seen as someone important. He wants to be part of something bigger, even if all he may be is a quivering little fish man. I had the hardest time thinking of something for him, but what I've come up with almost seems like the opposite of powerless: Killing Mother Miranda. Yes, obviously she's the source of his anguish and the reason he is this way in the first place, but he is clearly very attached to her. He would worship the ground she walked on if she allowed it, but he's probably used to being ignored. But what if he hallucinates an uncontrollable rampage in the village, and he has to helplessly watch from inside his own body how he brutally murders the only person who had given him a purpose, the only one who may have given him a chance at salvation? He has to watch how he just utterly tears her apart, and can't do a thing about it. I think it'd do a good job of breaking him even more.

[jyndor]

I’m rewatching the Puppetmaster for ~research~ and ugh.This is such a good episode but I cannot stand the treatment of Hama and also Katara’s special bending ability. And I’m gonna talk about it because I can’t help myself. But I also want to offer a solution maybe something that the writers could have done instead. Granted I’m a white US American so while I am about to talk about imperialism, anti-indigenous racism and racialized misogyny, I am coming from a position of privilege here and ymmv. It’s important that we as fans (especially white fans) acknowledge the things that our favorite stories can do better so that we can make our fandoms safer for everyone.

And btw fans of color have been talking about this so I definitely am going to be quoting some phenomenal bits of critique I have read on here. Also you should follow @shewhotellsstories and @visibilityofcolor for anti-racist fandom commentary.

I am also going to talk about grooming, so just be aware if that is a trigger for you.

I. Hama as a Campfire Horror Story Monster

The episode starts out with the Gaang camping in a creepy forest telling ghost stories to each other. Set to spooky music, Katara tells a story about something that happened to Kya, a friend named Nini (likely) dying in a snowstorm and then haunting her family’s home as a ghost. Immediately after, Toph hears people screaming under the ground - and then Hama finds them and invites them to her inn.

Every so often, Hama says something spooky with the spooky music playing. Katara immediately takes to Hama, but the others (especially Sokka) find her pretty unnerving. Katara says she reminds her of Gran Gran before Sokka starts snooping around and finds a bunch of puppets and a comb from the Southern Water Tribe. It’s the standard horror movie fakeout.

Every so often we get an artfully placed hint about Hama’s agenda - pulling water out of thin air, showing Katara that “plants - and all living things” are made of water. And oh yeah, she makes herself ice claws. Cool skill, but in the context of the episode, a little more unnerving.

The “moon monster” that Old Man Ding mentions, the alleged Moon spirit, turns out to be Hama (of course) and the tension builds to a peak as the Gaang rush to save Katara from the “dark puppetmaster” that has imprisoned the villagers.

Meanwhile Hama and Katara stand under the full moon washed in spooky cool lighting with an ominous breeze around them. You see Hama practically transform into a monster in a way sort of reminiscent to a werewolf - her fingers become claw-like, her veins pop out. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say it’s a coincidence that as she reveals her true agenda, she becomes less human in appearance. Which... okay I’ll get to that later.

While I can’t say that Katara fits the Final Girl trope very well, I do think it’s interesting to note that horror movies often do feature women as heroes who defeat the monster/killer/whatever and usually the Final Girl is used to allow audiences to experience the full horror of the villain, which absolutely is how Katara is used here. Yes, her friends come to help, but she saves everyone in the end (my queen).

So here’s why that’s bullshit.

Framing Hama as a horror story monster make sense when you don’t think about the Implications of framing the indigenous woman POW living surrounded by people who have benefited from Fire Nation imperialism. It does - it’s a common trope: the reclusive witch who first seems kindly to some lost/wandering children before revealing her true intention - to use them for her own purposes. Yeah, I know they’re playing on Hansel and Gretel. But yeah, I’m gonna call bullshit on that too - drawing on a c*nnabalistic witch for inspiration when you’re writing an indigenous woman character is probably not the way to go.

II. Hama the Puppetmaster* and Groomer

A puppet master is obviously a puppeteer, and Hama has puppets (creepy though they may be). But in terms of the underlying meaning, she’s a chessmaster, an Emperor Palpatine/Dick Cheney kind of master manipulator who works mostly through other people. What most people would consider a psychopath (in layman’s terms). When her friendly mask falls, she is terrifying.

She is cold, calculating, manipulative as fuck - she isolates Katara almost immediately. Hama uses Katara’s desire to connect with her culture to groom her to become a weapon. It’s actually such a good example of grooming that it has to be purposeful:

Targeting a victim - Hama hears that Katara and Sokka are from the SWT. She also hears Katara tell a story about Kya. To Hama, a waterbender from her own culture is a hell of a target.

Gaining trust - Hama reaches out to Katara in particular, is especially kind to her, gives her individual attention that the others don’t get. She prepares a SWT feast for them and tells the Gaang about her heritage when they go snooping.

Filling a need - so once Hama has given Katara reason to trust her about waterbending, she promises Katara to pass on SWT waterbending heritage that only Hama knows. She fills a unique need of Katara’s.

Isolation - From then on out, we don’t see Katara with the rest of the Gaang until the end of the episode. Hama seems like a normal teacher but she does start to drop little hints, pushing Katara very gently to see how she will react to her real agenda and desensitizing Katara to what would otherwise seem unacceptable coming from someone else who hasn’t established that unique trust. “You’ve got to keep an open mind, Katara.”

So this would be the point at which Hama would make sexual contact but this is metaphorical so that obviously doesn’t happen. What does happen is Hama pushes Katara’s limits. She makes her pretty uncomfortable with the idea of killing the fire lilies for water, but when Hama appeals to their shared history of marginalization she gets over it.

Maintaining control: Hama makes her final move, which is obviously bloodbending, and reveals her true agenda - and when Katara refuses to manipulative living beings’ blood, Hama violates her bodily agency. And not only this, but she pushes Katara into bloodbending when she victimizes the Gaang, fully realizing her control. 

Hama sees it as a victory, and telling Katara breaks down at the end in one of the most emotional scenes in the show. She feels like so many of us have felt at some point: violated, betrayed by someone we trusted. And then they never really deal with that.

I actually think that’s the point of The Puppetmaster, especially given ATLA being a show for children. I think it’s supposed to be a metaphor for csa.

And... okay.

Undoubtedly it is important to send these messages to kids. And yes, people usually are victimized by those closest to them, by those in their own communities. But not indigenous women. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but according to the National Congress of American Indians, Native American women  and girls are more likely to be sexually assaulted by non-NA men. 57% of cases are perpetrated by white men. Not the people in their communities.

Choosing to tell this story with an indigenous woman POW (who very likely would have been victimized herself lbr) is a choice that I find really aggravating. When writers tell stories with a Point, it is incredibly important for those writers to understand the implications of what they are saying about the characters who they are using to make that point.

Like I’m not saying don’t make that point, or don’t use Katara (who would in real life be at a higher risk of sexual violence than the others) to make it, but why make the perpetrator someone who is statistically unlikely to be Katara’s abuser? I’m not sure I have a good answer to that question. My guess is, like with making Hama animalistic and about as unsympathetic as it gets, the writers just had blinders on about the cultural implications of what they were saying.

Not even considering the whole victimizing-the-“innocents”-of-the-Fire-Nation-town plot, Hama’s not a good person. This is probably because she was driven mad by the need for revenge, which, eurgh okay, but still it’s very apparent that she is not interested in winning over Katara’s support directly or honestly.

* also the antisemitic history of this trope hmm.

III. Hama and The Victims of Genocide Victimizing Oppressors #NotAllFireNation

Okay. So this is the part that I think annoys me the most because it’s so bad. Like, imagine for a minute that you’re a white guy and you’re gonna tell a story about a victim of genocide who is completely divorced from her culture and homeland, and furthermore is an escaped prisoner of war who has radicalized in prison - okay it just hit me, I know what they MIGHT have been going for, like maybe some kind of anti-Gitmo statement? But that didn’t happen. People who were stolen away from Iraq and imprisoned illegally in Guantanamo Bay, and who were released after being detained illegally, haven’t really shown any real radicalization. They’re pissed at the US for victimizing them, but like that seems pretty fair considering so many of them did nothing wrong.

That’s been the US government’s excuse for not releasing innocent people who were detained illegally. The idea that prisoners of war radicalized in Gitmo so they can’t be released because they’ll attack the US is propaganda. I’m not saying it hasn’t happened, but that’s where it comes from.

Considering the time period ATLA was written, considering how much of it was inspired by the US wars of aggression and imperialism, considering how political ATLA is (and why it was so popular during its initial run - during the years that Bush lost a ton of popularity) I think if that’s what they were thinking about, that’s not great.

But for all of Avatar’s good messaging on imperialism and war, it’s still written from a white US American mindset. Well surely I’m not responsible, surely you shouldn’t imprison and abuse me, a random white girl in the States. It’s my government, which I cannot control because of two-party politics or some shit.

So first off, that’s shitty because oppression is often about systems, not individuals. Sure we need to always consider the individual experiences of people who are victimized, but the people who are benefiting from imperialism? Me? Fuck if I care if someone in El Salvador or Iraq or Chile or idk any of the countries we have meddled in, let alone from a marginalized community in the United States, hates white US Americans for what our government has done - and that’s even silly because white US citizens support our government. Like we think the institutions are sound, although sometimes we don’t support the guy in charge. We think the cops are going to help us, even though that isn’t really the case.

Why frame it about what she’s doing to the Fire Nation civilians at all? Why make Hama the villain? I don’t think they wanted her to be unsympathetic, I mean they tell her story and I don’t think anyone would conclude that it doesn’t justify her desire for revenge, but why tell this story through a victim of genocide?

Recently I saw a post by @sunkin-akh where they point out that Hama basically quotes Malcolm X:

I was literally just watching the Hama episode again and I just noticed for the first time that while forcing Katara to bloodbend she says that they must fight back against the Fire Nation (and she used this exact phrase) “by any means necessary”, which is Frantz Fanon’s phrase popularized by Malcolm X during the Civil Rights Movement (iirc). They directly compared Black liberation to Hama’s evil acts and it disgusted me.

The full context:

Hama: The choice [to use bloodbending] is not yours. The power exists. And it’s your duty to use the gifts you’ve been given to win this war. Katara, they tried to wipe us out, our entire culture, your mother.

Katara: I know.

Hama: Then you should understand what I’m talking about. We’re the last waterbenders of the Southern Tribe, we have to fight these people whenever we can, wherever they are, with any means necessary.

I find that so appalling because it is framing resistance, specifically anti-racist resistance, as barbaric and monstrous. And given the way that Hama is portrayed at this point, about as inhuman as anyone in ATLA, that is extra gross.

Finally, after Katara defeats Hama, she is lead away by the authorities in CHAINS.

So now the FN cops are the good authorities who we’re gonna trust a SWT waterbender with? I mean she’s a villain so we’re probably not supposed to feel bad for her, like yeah sure the FN is usually bad but she’s a criminal so it’s okay that they take a POW back into custody.

No, no, no.

I know I am reading into this far more than the writers intended - but that’s kind of the point of critically engaging with media. Because shockingly writers don’t always question their choices - they are people and have implicit biases just like all of us. When those writers come from a privileged culture that has colonized the culture they are using as “inspiration” for their story, they need to be extra mindful of how they represent those people.

IV: How To Write Hama

Well, I’m not gonna talk over indigenous fans on this one on specifics, and you should read this rewrite by @kispesan​  but my thoughts generally are:

lose the horror framing it’s just not right for this context and this character

don’t frame Malcolm X as a villain because that’s nasty and racist

have Katara learn to use bloodbending in ways that she is comfortable with (and not just like once in one episode where she’s extra vengeful and the hero of the show doesn’t approve of her actions JFC) and don’t make the dark-skinned girl the only character whose special bending skill is dubious (I know she also has healing but still)

bring Hama home

have indigenous people in the writers room

Anyway, I’ve gone on wayyy too long. Let me know if I am speaking out of turn please if you feel that I am. and I’m sure I had other thoughts but if you want to read some other good pieces of Hama meta, I’ve listed some below:

post and another post by @marsreds​

this post and this post by @visibilityofcolor​

this post by @shewhotellsstories​

anyway katara is a queen and should have been allowed to heal, and hama never should have been irredeemable because if you can make iroh redeemable, if the show was going to redeem AZULA, you can make hama redeemable.

[shimmershae]

My thoughts on Episode 6--On the Inside

Very appropriate title by the way.  Works in a multitude of ways.  

As always, my randomness is going beneath a cut again to spare the eyeballs of those of you that don’t want to see it at all and also?  Help those of you that have somehow stayed spoiler-free in this brand-new age of early release episodes.  It is still so wild to me that I’m a full episode ahead of half the fandom.  I don’t know what I’m going to do when we get to the final episode and they decide to make us all suffer together--because somehow I do feel they will do exactly that after spoiling us for the first 23 episodes.  It is going to be agonizing.  

Anyway.  Without further ado, Shae’s stream of consciousness review (of sorts).  

Not fair, Angela.  Opening the episode with that shot of that big ass spider.  I hate those suckers.  So naturally, they’re an easy sell for setting the horror scene to me, lol.  

Okay.  Who the hell’s chasing Virgil and Connie?  Walker No-See-Ums?

Barely a minute in and the atmosphere for this episode is moody AF.  

What is this?  Tara Jr. The Walking Dead?  LOL.  Where’s the Scarlett for this mini plantation house?  Anyway.  First three minutes of this episode?  Just as attention grabbing as the first five episode openings this season.  I don’t think people out there are giving our writers enough love for that.  Every episode so far has opened like a mini movie.  

With the way the Walking Dead logo keeps crumbling away with each successive episode, somehow it wouldn’t surprise me at all if the Carol and Daryl spinoff was eventually titled The Living and had flowers growing out of each letter, lol.  I mean, there would be a certain sort of life-affirming symmetry in a show that’s been promised to be much lighter in tone doing just that.  

More Carol and Aaron?  Yes, please.  I don’t necessarily like Carol staying at home and sitting the sidelines like a figurative happy little homemaker in the B story while the rest of the mains are trying like hell to sell the A story, but if she’s going to be totally prohibited from the main storyline until it’s time to blow shit up?  I’m going to continue enjoy getting to see her do what she should have been doing for seasons--interacting with others in the community, especially Aaron and the ladies.  

Truly.  I really am loving my girl getting some quality Aaron and Rosita time.  It’s so long overdue.  

Bless sweet Kelly.  Riding off to her sister’s rescue.  

Why isn’t Lydia shown as part of these plans?  For someone that could barely read last season, I doubt that big ass map was a piece of cake for her and it’s all just guesswork anyway without her guidance.  I mean, why does it feel like they are cutting some of this stuff that might not seem like much plot-wise but would go a long way toward establishing different character beats?  Personally, I would have loved to see her involved in the search and sharing scenes again with Carol and bonding with Kelly. 

Virgil be having that “I always feel like somebody’s watching me” feeling.  Don’t you hate that, lol?  

“You haven’t slept in days.”  But how many days, Virgil?  I’m going to need a number because I’m confused AF about this timeline at this point.  What we’re seeing and what different pieces of dialogue is telling us is not exactly lining up.  I’m going to find it awful hilarious if it hasn’t even been two weeks since the cave in.  For reasons.  

Connie’s spidey senses are clearly tingling.  

Alrighty, then.  She’s clearly got PTSD.  Understandable.  They’ve all had it.  Some have been treated more sympathetically than others, though.  

I mean, it never seems to cross anybody’s mind how Carol probably sees Henry’s head on that pike, Mika’s pale and bloody body, Lizzie crumpled face down in a bed of yellow flowers, Sophia with a smoking bullet hole through her undead head whenever she closes her eyes but whatever.  

Okay though.  But what if Connie had really shitty, impossible to read handwriting?  AKA doctor’s  handwriting.  What then?  

Leah’s face honestly twists my insides whenever I see it, lol.  It’s quiet a visceral thing.  No, that does not make me a horrible person.  Not everybody wants or has to drink the awesome, great, redeemable villainess Kool-Aid.  IMHO, she’s got a face meant for a Walker.  Perfect makeover idea.  Eh.  Mostly it’s her expression and the deadness of her eyes.  

Anyway.  Why is it always the fingers?  Eff that.  

Listen.  If ya’ll can’t tell Daryl’s conflicted AF with the situation he’s landed in, you don’t know how to read NR’s face and eyes.  He’s not a masterclass like MMB but he’s pretty darn good when he wants to be.  

I honestly feel sorry for Redshirt Frost.  

“You do what you gotta do.”  Frost knows what’s what and he’s willing to walk the walk for Maggie.  Impressive loyalty.  I’m left wondering how the current, colder incarnation of Maggie inspired it because I’m still struggling to see it.  Anywho.  My point is the dude knows the score and just gave Daryl the okay.  

Daryl taking off his angel vest before stepping into the role of torturer/interrogator=him shedding the persona/the man Judith and RJ and Lydia and Carol know him to be.  Pushing away his man of honor status so he can just survive somehow.  

Pope never quits chewing whatever the hell he’s got in his mouth.  It’s kind of distracting.  

Ohhh.  We’re back to the Haunted Mansion.  I mean house.  Where are the Hitchhiking Ghosts?  

All the eyes scratched out of those creepy pictures=spooky.  

The good old fogged up bathroom mirror shot.  Somebody’s been watching and studying their horror movies, lol.  Not gonna lie though.  I’m legit bracing myself for the jump scares I know have to be coming.  

I’m loving the music/score in these scenes.  

Truthfully, I could care less about these Reapers.  But they are hella attractive, lol.  Listen.  Angela knows what she’s doing.  

Kelly’s horse is so pretty.  Prayer chain for that baby.  

More dead horses?  Why?  

Connie’s slingshot?  Sorry.  I maintain, no matter how much I like these two, that they have the lamest weapons ever.  Endless supply of Virginia rocks or not.  

So.  Did Virgil and Connie enjoy a little equine for dinner?  Did they kill it before the Walkers fed?  What monsters!  Yeah, no.  Not if they were starving even if I personally could not have.  The more probable story is they fled the camp in a panic and left the horse behind and then it went down.  Sorry.  I didn’t exactly study the wounds on the poor animal because it is so traumatizing to me to continue to see them meet such dastardly ends on this show.  I don’t know who the hell has such a score to settle with horses but stop it.  

Days.  It’s only been days.  Not weeks.  So many times with all that Daryl and Company have had to contend with since the cave in?  Those do not exist, lol.  They’re just a convenient, appeasing piece of dialogue thrown at a fanbase primed and ready to read everything into not much of anything.  There’s just not been enough time for it to happen unless Daryl has literally been up 24/7 for all of them.  You know, strategizing how to attack the remainders of Alpha’s horde, figuring out how to defend Hilltop before it fell, healing from the wound he sustained at Alpha’s hand, sitting on that log all damn night with Negan waiting on Carol to come home, having a lover’s quarrel with his best damn everything, taking care of the Grimes babies and Lydia, being the reluctant leader.  Kang, why you playing them like that?  Daryl’s a super guy but he’s not a superhuman with clones.  So many times my ass.  

Seriously.  Who been watching Connie and Virgil?  The MIA Oceansiders?  Beta’s Fee Fi Fo Fum Ghost?  

Nice.  A Michonne mention.  Maybe the truth will start to trickle out.  

LMAO at Connie’s “I’m not staying here.”  Me neither, girl.  I would be outta that house so fast.  

They really “Quiet Placing” this episode.  Honestly?  I’m kinda loving it.  

WTF was that?  I know she can’t hear but you telling me all the little hairs on her arms, legs, and neck didn’t stand the fuck up and say fuck this shit, I’m gone?  Pardon my language, lovelies, but that moment had my heart kicking up several beats.  

Okay, okay.  To be fair to Connie, every hair on her body been doing that since the front door closed.  Maybe they’re desensitized.  

Gollum’s chasing Connie!!!  He/She wants their Precious!!!

The knee jerk reactions about this episode sight unseen are OTT, honestly.  And I mean no disrespect by saying that.  I can understand completely where they’re coming from because we’ve been burned so long in this fandom.  But it’s obvious the spoiler source has their particular biases and reads into things in such a way that don’t line up with what’s actually being shown onscreen.  Daryl’s loyalty in this episode and all along quite clearly lies with his family and his community.  He’s been playing Leah since the start and is truly just trying to survive somehow.  

Awful thought.  The Reaper that’s so suspish of Daryl--haven’t quite caught his name or really cared to.  I feel like he might try to get to Daryl somehow.  When he realizes that Daryl cares no more for Leah than any human would care for somebody (they thought) they used to know?  He’s going after Dog.  Or Carol should she finally join this story. 

I refuse to believe Carol isn’t going to be a part of this story.  Because they messing with her mans, lol.  

“You’re ever with us or you’re not.”  Now where have I heard those words before?  I wish I could find that Daryl gif because that had to be one of the funniest things ever, lol.  

Unrealistic suggestion to Daryl, Leah?  Breathing oxygen seems to piss off Carver.  Oh look.  He finally has a name for me, lol.  

I love how all three of the ladies--Carol, Magna, and Rosita--look at Kelly with such indulgent, adoring “little sis, you alright?” eyes.  

They are seriously the most beautiful quartet of characters.  I mean all of them are lovely but Carol and Rosita this season?  Ugh.  The unfairness of the pretty.  

Human bones.  Terminus callback, lovelies.  How it all would have eventually gone down if Gareth and Co. hadn’t met the business end of Rick’s red machete.  

So many horror movie homages in this one.  

Virgil’s like “let’s leave this Texas Chainsaw Massacre behind.”  

Connie and Virgil have obviously bonded, ya’ll.  I’m surprised by how much I’m enjoying their scenes together when the character mostly got on my nerves with Michonne.  He’s a good actor and the core of his character is sympathetic, but I’m not going to lie.  I wasn’t super enthused when he was the one that rescued Connie because I didn’t know how their scenes would play out. But there’s a nice synergy there.  

Okay.  Does Carver want Leah for himself?  Because I’m sure Daryl at this point would love to scream “take her, I know where I fucking belong!”  

Daryl’s digging in deep because Carver has shown him Leah’s potential weak spot.  Nuance is truly lost on some people, LMAO.  He cares about Leah as a human being probably.  He’s Daryl, after all.  The sweet one.  But he sees her as his way outta this and he’s going to exploit it.  

It’s nice to have a silent Negan for once, lol.  I can pretend he didn’t take my baby Glenn away from me and enjoy JDM’s pretty.  

So.  These cannibal people were the watchers?  Hmm.  

I’m really digging Virgil 2.0.  Yeah.  Nobody’s surprised more than me.  

Sweet, sweet scene between Virgil and Connie.  His determination to reunite her with her family brings back the sympathy I felt for him when he told Michonne “I promised her flowers.  Every day.”  

Damn.  How many of those creepy crawly cannibals are there?  

How brave of Connie to confront her fears to save someone she’s obviously grown to care about.  

The Kelly/Connie reunion gave me chills and made me cry.  Thank fuck Angela didn’t cheapen that moment by having it focus on literally anybody else.  Kelly is the most important person in the whole world to Connie and vice versa.  Just like Carol is the most important person in the whole world to Daryl and vice versa.  Angela fucking knows.  Everybody does.  Except the people busy building castles out of sand while the waves of Carol’s and Daryl’s converging stories keep crashing closer and closer to shore.  

Such a beautiful moment given to us by Angel Theory and Lauren Ridloff.  So authentic and sweet.  Kelly and Connie are home to each other.  

Poor Frost.  That’s all I gotta say about that.  

WTF, though.  Was Mel just not available or what?  I want to see more of the ASZ characters that I care about, not the Reapers.  Like I’d be fine with the story if all the characters not named Maggie, Negan, or Daryl weren’t surviving on crumbs during it.  Especially the 2nd billed actress on the entire show.  Angela.  Please.  Fix this.  

One last WTF.  Seriously.  WTF has Maggie done to inspire Pope’s obsession?  It better be juicy after all this shit.  

Overall impression of the episode--

One of my favorites of the season so far.  The horror aspects were fantastic, IMHO. I truly didn’t expect to like Connie and Virgil’s scenes as much together so that was a nice surprise.  She got the reunion that felt most true and earned for the character and her story and I thank Angela from the bottom of my heart for that.  

I would have loved more Carol but I always want more Carol.  I’m okay with her taking a backseat because ultimately?  This was Kelly’s moment with her sister.  Carol and Connie will eventually have their time to sit down and talk.  And pick back up their blossoming friendship because I truly do not feel Connie blames Carol at all.  

I do wish Lydia had been included with the girl group.  Last episode felt like it was leading up to that.  

The Reaper storyline continues to be the weakest link because every time we see them the dialogue and interactions feel totally recycled from the time previous.  I feel like it would have totally been helped by a tighter focus and less stretching out because 8 episodes of this is really diluting what I feel like Angela and Co. are going for.  I’m not here for Leah being redeemed or being a bigger focus in any of the episodes because she does nothing of interest for me.  I’m just peeking in on that story for the Daryl of it all.  

Speaking of the Daryl? You lovelies out there gotta stop taking that spoiler source’s recaps at face value because it’s obvious to me at least that there’ some bias at work.  Every action and word coming from Daryl is coming from a place of loyalty to his family and wanting to protect them, no matter how he has to dirty his hands.  Leah is just a means to his ultimate end.  She’s not his future.  She never was.  His future’s already spoken for and 2023 can’t get  here soon enough.  But like Daryl, we have to just survive somehow.  

Oh goodie.  More Maggie and Negan next episode and looks like no real follow up on Connie and the ASZ reunions.  Hopefully, this is yet another instance of the previews being deceiving but I’m not holding my breath.  

Until later, lovelies.  

Hope my word vomit didn’t bore you too much.  

[gayenerd]

I just realized I didn’t post that 2007 Rolling Stone article I posted about here. 

Billie Joe Armstrong

The Green Day leader talks Bush, Britney and being a middle-aged punk for our 40th anniversary.

DAVID FRICKE

Posted Nov 01, 2007 8:19 AM

You have two young sons. What kind of America will they inherit?

This war has to finish before something new blossoms. There's no draft — that's why none of the kids give a shit. They'd rather watch videos on YouTube. It's hard to tell what's next — there is so much information out there with no power to it. Everything is in transition, including our government. Next year, it's someone else in the White House. There's no way to define anything. It's Generation Zero. But you gotta start at zero to get to something.

Is there anyone now running for president who gives you hope for the future?

Barack Obama, but it's a bit early to tell if this is the guy I like. I get sick of the religious-figure thing. People don't question their rulers, these political figures, just as they don't question their ministers and priests. They're not going to question George Bush, especially if he goes around talking about God — "I'm going to let God decide this for me. He's going to give me the answer." The fear of God keeps people silent.

When did you first vote in a presidential election?

In 1992. I was twenty. I voted for Clinton.

Did you feel like you made a difference?

Yeah. The Eighties sucked. There was so much bullshit that went along with that decade. I felt like Clinton was a fresh face with fresh ideas. There were times when he was dropping bombs, and I'm thinking, "What the fuck are you doing?" But he became a target. We have this puritanical vision of what a leader is supposed to be, and that's what makes us the biggest hypocrites in the world. We got so inside this guy's sexual habits. Now we have a president going around, killing in the name of what? In the name of nothing.

What did you accomplish with your 2004 anti-Bush album, "American Idiot"? He was re-elected anyway, and the war in Iraq is still going on.

I found a voice. There may have been people disenfranchised by it. People have a hard time with that kind of writing: "Why are you preaching to me?" It does sound preachy, a bit. I'm a musician, and I want to say positive things. If it's about self-indulgent depression or overthrowing the government, it's gotta come from my heart. And when you say "Fuck George W. Bush" in a packed arena in Texas, that's an accomplishment, because you're saying it to the unconverted.

Do you think selling nearly 6 million copies of that album might have an effect on the 2008 election? A kid who bought it at fifteen will be voting age next year.

I hope so. I made it to give people a reason to think for themselves. It was supposed to be a catalyst. Maybe that's one reason why it's difficult for me to write about politics now. A lot of things on that record are still relevant. It's like we have this monarchy in politics — the passing of the baton between the Clintons and the Bushes. That's frightening. What needs to happen is a complete change, a person coming from the outside with a new perspective on all the fucked-up problems we have.

How would you describe the state of pop culture?

People want blood. They want to see other people thrown to the lions. Do audiences want rock stars? I can't tell. You have information coming at you from so many areas — YouTube, the Internet, tabloids. Watching Britney Spears the other night [on the MTV Video Music Awards] was like watching a public execution. How could the people at MTV, the people around her, not know this girl was fucked up? People came in expecting a train wreck, and they got more than they bargained for.

She was a willing conspirator. She didn't say no.

She is a manufactured child. She has come up through this Disney perspective, thinking that all life is about is to be the most ridiculous star you could be. But it's also about what we look at as entertainment — watching somebody go through that.

How do you decide what your children can see on TV or the Internet? As a dad, even a punk-rock dad, that can make you conservative in your choices.

I want to protect them from garbage. It's not necessarily the sex and drugs. It's bad drugs and bad sex, the violence you see on television and in the news. I want to protect them from being desensitized. I want them to realize this is real life, not a video game.

The main thing I want them to have is a good education, because that's something I never had. Get smart. Educate yourself as much as you can, and get as much out of it, even if the teacher is an asshole.

Do you regret dropping out of high school?

Life in high school sucks. I bucked the system. I also got lucky. My wife has a degree in sociology, and there are conversations she has — I don't have a fucking clue what they're talking about. College — I could have learned from that.

But I was the last of six kids. At that point, my mother was fifty-eight, and she threw up her hands — "I'm through with this parenting thing." Also, I could not handle authority figures. But I wouldn't say I'm an authority figure for my kids. I provide guidelines, not rules.

What is it like being a middle-aged punk? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?

It's about the energy you bring with you, the pulse inside your head. I want to get older. I don't want to be twenty-one again. Screw that. My twenties were a difficult time — where my band was at, getting married, having a child. I remember walking out of a gig in Chicago, past these screaming kids. There were these punks, real ones, sitting outside our tour bus. One girl had a forty-ouncer, and she goes, "Billie Joe, come drink with us." I said, "I can't, I've got my family on the bus." She goes, "Well, fuck you then." I get on the bus, and my wife says, "Did that bitch just tell you to fuck off? I'm gonna kick her ass right now." I'm holding her back, while my child is naked, jumping on the couch: "Hi, Daddy!" That was my whole life right there — screaming kids, punks telling me to fuck off, my wife getting pissed, my naked son waiting to get into his pajamas.

There's nothing wrong with being twenty-one. It's the lessons you learn. At thirty, you think, "Why did I worry so much about this shit?" When I hit forty, I'll say the same thing: "Why did I worry about this shit in my thirties?"

What have you learned about yourself?

There is more to life than trying to find your way through self-destruction or throwing yourself into the fire all the time. Nihilism in punk rock can be a cliché. I need to give myself more room to breathe, to allow my thoughts to catch up with the rest of me.

Before Dookie, I wasn't married and I didn't have kids. I had a guitar, a bag of clothes and a four-track recorder. There are ways you don't want to change. You don't want to lose your spark. But I need silence more than I did before. I need to get away from the static and noise, whereas before, I thrived on it.

Are you ready for the end of the music business? The technology and its effect on sales have changed dramatically since Green Days' debut EP — on vinyl — in 1989.

Technology now and the way people put out records — everything comes at you so fast, you don't know what you're investigating. You can't identify with it — at least I can't. With American Idiot, we made a conscious effort to give people an experience they could remember for the rest of their lives. It wasn't just the content. It was the artwork, the three acts — the way you could read it all like someone's story.

Is music simply not important to young people now the way it was to you as a kid?

People get addicted to garbage they don't need. At shows, they gotta talk on their phones to their friend who's in the next aisle. I was watching this documentary on Jeff Tweedy of Wilco [Sunken Treasure]. He was playing acoustic, and he ends up screaming at the audience: "Your fucking conversation can wait. I'm up here singing a song — get involved." He wasn't being an asshole. He was like, "Leave your bullshit behind. Let's celebrate what's happening now."

We need music, and we need it good. I took it very seriously. There's a side of me where music will always send chills up my spine, make me cry, make me want to get up and do Pete Townshend windmills. In a lot of ways, I was in a minority when I was young. There are people who go, "Oh, that's a snappy tune." I listen to it and go, "That's the greatest fucking song ever. That is the song I want played at my funeral."

Now that you've brought it up, what song do you want played at your funeral?

It keeps changing. "Life on Mars?" by David Bowie. "In My Life," by the Beatles. "Love," by John Lennon.

Those are all reflective ballads, not punk.

I disagree. They are all honest in their reflection. The punk bands I liked were the ones who didn't fall into clichés — the Clash, the Ramones. The Ramones wrote beautiful love songs. They also invented punk rock. I'd have to add "Blitzkrieg Bop" to the list.

What is the future of punk rock? Will it still be a voice of rebellion in twenty years?

It's categorized in so many different ways. You've got the MySpace punks. But there is always the subculture of it — the rats in the walls, pounding the pavement and booking their own live shows. It comes down to the people who are willing to do something different from everybody else.

You are in a different, platinum-album world now. What makes you so sure that spirit survives?

I'm going on faith — because I was there. Gilman Street [the Berkeley, California, club where Green Day played early shows] is still around. And that's a hard task, because there is no bar — it's a nonprofit cooperative. It's like a commune — this feeling of bucking the system together, surviving and thriving on art. Punk, as an underground, pushes for the generation gap. As soon as you're twenty-five years old, there's a group of sixteen-year-olds coming to kick your ass. And you have to pass the torch on. It's a trip to have seen it happen so many times. It gives me goose bumps — punk is something that survives on its own.

[jaskiers-sweetkiss]

Not Possible [Soulmate AU]

Pairing: Daisy Johnson x Daniel Sousa

Based on the prompt: “Can someone make a soulmark story with Daisysous where Daisy's soulmark is "Who the hell are you?" and Daisy, being someone that would always get herself into tight situations, was something that she heard a lot and has gotten kind of desensitized to it and while Daniel's soulmark is "Who I am is on a need to know basis", he had gotten into the habit of asking people who they are to get that kind of response. However, both of them are very focused on their respective missions (Daisy to fight the Chronicoms and Daniel to figure out who is trying to infiltrate his SHIELD base), they didn't realize they were each other's soulmates until he noticed his writing on her body while rescuing her from the barn and then they fall in love yay” from @magickgirl786 (lmk if you want me to untag you) 

Warnings: light swearing, mentions of torture, THERE WILL BE AGENTS OF SHIELD SPOILERS

a/n: I was so inspired by the prompt that I literally pounded this out in like an hour last night. This is my first Daisel/Dousy/Sousy/DaisySous fic so lmk what you think!!

___

Daisy Johnson hadn’t exactly had a normal life and being born with the words “Who the hell are you?” tattooed on her wrist didn’t make it any better. It was a question she had asked and been asked many times throughout her life. She asked herself that very question constantly growing up as she fashioned a name and identity for herself since she had no family to do it for her. She created Skye, the hacker but then “Skye” was thrown out the window when she met her parents and learned her real name was Daisy Johnson and she started the entire process of creating an identity over again. At some point, Agent Johnson became Quake and Quake became Destroyer of Worlds, she’d had enough names and identities to make a person’s head spin.

Working as a field agent with SHIELD didn’t help much either. Her job ensured that she was asked: “Who the hell are you?” on nearly every assignment. She barely even registered the shock of hearing the words anymore. She certainly wasn’t listening for them in 1953, decades away from anyone who could possibly be a candidate for her soulmate.

Daniel Sousa wasn’t sure what kind of soulmate he’d be getting with a soulmark like “Who I am is on a need to know basis,” but boy did he try to find out. He had tried to elicit the response from every new person he met but it never hit. The words started to make more sense when he joined the SSR and later SHIELD. Surely his soulmate must be an agent, he thought, but soon enough that idea fell through too. The identity of his soulmate was far from his mind as he went about his job, especially when dealing with the added stress of a Peggy Carter imposter. That must’ve been why the words went right over his head.

“Who the hell are you?” His words were harsh as he stepped into his office only to find it occupied by some dame he’d never seen before.

“Who I am is on a need to know basis.” Her words were curt but she radiated power and authority. On a normal day Daniel might’ve shown a little more respect for the woman but today he was out of patience.

“I need to know.” He demanded and she smirked.

“Ah, no, you don’t.” She smiled coyly, “Because I don’t exist, and we’ve never met. Now, can you shut the door please?”

“Not to be rude, but it’s been one of those days,” he began, eying the woman with his signature no-nonsense look, “So produce some credentials or I’m gonna put you in handcuffs.”

She complied immediately and he nearly let out a sigh of relief. Today may have been stressful but at least everyone was being compliant, even the two imposters he caught had gone quietly and without a fuss.

“I should inform you, that’s not my real name,” she spoke evenly as she handed over her ID, “My initials are C-I-A, catch my drift?”

“Subtle.” He deadpanned but he was grateful. It seemed someone was finally taking his fears of Hydra sleeper cells in SHIELD seriously, maybe someone was finally here to make his day easier.

The next thing he knew he was locked up in the very cell he had been keeping the imposters in. So much for making his day easier.

Daisy was surprised by the flare of guilt that came from locking Sousa up in his own holding cell. She normally wouldn’t have thought twice, it was part of the job and she was saving her people and the world, but there was something about Daniel Sousa that gave her pause. Maybe it was because he was a nice guy, or because he was already catching onto Hydra’s presence more than fifty years before it would actually come to light. Either way, she had to shake off the feeling as she continued on her day.

An opportunity to redeem herself not long after. Daniel Sousa was going to die, killed by the Hydra sleeper cells he was trying to expose, but they didn’t have to let that happen. They wouldn’t let that happen if she had any say in it. She still couldn’t figure out why she felt so strongly about a man she had only interfaced with once but something was telling her she couldn’t just let this man die. So she didn’t.

___

Daniel Sousa was not having a good week. First Hydra, then his base is infiltrated, and now he’s been kidnapped. Except, it’s worse than a kidnapping really, because not only is he no longer in Los Angeles, he was no longer in 1953, and he was, apparently, no longer alive. Somehow Daniel Sousa, Agent of SHIELD and World War II veteran, had found himself in the 1970s without having aged a day. At least this new Future SHIELD still did fieldwork, he really needed the consistency.

He found himself paired up with the agent from his office who’s real identity he learned was Daisy Johnson. He wasn’t sure what it was about her, maybe the power she emanated or her bold attitude, but something drew him to her. Somehow, even with the looming threat of Hydra, he felt less worried with her by his side. Though, maybe it had something to do with her earthquake powers.

It wasn’t until the barn that he realized the true reasoning behind their inexplicable connection.

God, that barn. Daniel wasn’t sure if they’d ever make it out of that god-forsaken building alive. Sitting there listening to Agent Johnson be sliced apart was a torture in itself for him, though he knew his pain was nothing compared to the agony she was surely feeling if her screams were any indicator. She looked like she was on the verge of death when they deposited her back at his side.

“Stay with me,” he remembered begging. He remembered telling her about what happened to his leg. He remembered feeling like there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do to make sure she made it out of there alive.

Then she lifted up her hand to show the piece of glass stuck under her skin and he realized why he felt so strongly about the woman lying in his lap. His own words, “Who the hell are you?” were tattooed along her wrist. There was no mistaking his handwriting and while all he wanted to do was replay their meeting back in his mind to find out if she had said his words, he knew he needed to keep his mind on task if he ever wanted a shot at this soulmates thing. So that’s what he did, he threw all of his strength, mind, and ability into getting them out of that terrible barn. It wasn’t until he was seated on the Zephyr with Daisy safe, sound, and healing in front of him that he let his mind wander to the possibilities.

___

Daisy wasn’t surprised that she wasn’t alone when she woke up, but she was surprised by her company. She had expected Jemma when she woke up in the med bay’s hospital bed with an IV in her arm, but instead she got Daniel Sousa, not that she was complaining. He looked equal parts relieved and nervous when she awoke though she couldn’t figure out why. He didn’t tell her either, though the nervousness remained throughout her recovery. Jemma informed him that he hadn’t left her side the entire time she was unconscious and her heart warmed at the fact. The sentimentality surprised her, she wasn’t one to grow attached so quickly but there was just something about Daniel Sousa. She didn’t find out what until she had been released from medical.

“Agent Johnson, I think we should talk,” he said in that calm but commanding way of his, though Daisy didn’t miss the nervousness in his voice and face.

She merely nodded, following him into the Zephyr’s kitchen. They sat across from each other at the table, Daisy starting up the coffee machine before sitting down.

“What is it, Agent Sousa?” She asked, a teasing smile on her face, “You look like you might vomit.”

“We’re soulmates,” he blurted before immediately cursing himself and Daisy froze in shock.

“Excuse me?” She finally spit out, subconsciously sliding her fingers over the words on her wrist.

She’d heard the words hundreds of times, surely it couldn’t be him.

“I didn’t realize until I saw my writing on your wrist in the barn, I-” he stopped suddenly, unsure of what to say next. He had dreamed about meeting his soulmate, but never had he thought it would go like this. In lieu of knowing what to say, he rolled up his sleeve instead, placing his wrist on the table with his soulmark on full display.

Daisy’s mind was screaming at her as she stared at the man’s wrist. The man was born decades before her, he was supposed to die before she was even born, and yet those were her words, in her handwriting, clearly displayed on his wrist.

“What the hell?” She heard herself mutter, though she didn’t feel like she was in control of her own body in that moment.

“I’m sorry,” Daniel panicked, interpreting her confusion for upset. “I shouldn’t have sprung this on you, especially so soon after recovery-” he rambled before Daisy cut him off by placing a gentle hand on his own that was still resting on the table.

“I’m not upset,” she reassured him, “I just- how is this possible?” She laughed slightly at her own question, soulmarks were an extremely unpredictable thing and even modern science didn’t have a good understanding of them, obviously the chain of events that brought them together were meant to happen.

“I don’t know,” Daniel smiled sadly, “But, as crazy as all this is, I’d like to give it a shot.”

Daisy smiled. She couldn’t help it even if she tried, the man sitting before her was so genuine and even if he wasn’t her soulmate she was sure she’d be feeling the same butterflies in her stomach.

“Me too,” she said softly and the butterflies only flapped harder at the smile that broke across his face.

“I’d like to take you on a date if any of this,” he gestured to the Zephyr and the commotion that came with it, “ever dies down.”

“I’d love that.”

[lazylazyhowl]

Hot-blooded (sasusaku oneshot)

Summary: Sasuke is a hot-blooded young man. He just forgot that.

Or,

Due to technical difficulties, the Sharingan's recording function is temporarily unavailable :(

In which,

Sakura is oblivious, Sasuke is too but then he isn’t, Sai spares no feeling, Naruto is confused, and Kakashi is having too much fun to intervene.

AO3 Link

 Ko-fi

Feedback is always appreciated. Please also consider buying me a cup of coffee if you like what I do.

It started with a tickle inside his nose as he felt something crawl down the cavern of his left nostril.

“Sa-Sasuke-kun!”

Sakura’s focused green eyes went wide before him. The tongue depressor she had inside his mouth scraped against his bottom teeth as her otherwise steady hand quivered momentarily.

Snot, then – he decided with a vague sense of shame, feeling the trail of the watery substance creep ever closer to the precipice of his upper lip. It had been chilly at night in the hospital lately, but he’d been too offish to bother requesting more blankets. Well, that and few nurses bothered to (or dared) come to his room if they didn’t have to.

He didn’t blame them.

Really.

Covered in invisible chakra suppressing seals as it was, a whole room at the quiet end of a corridor reserved just for him when the hospital was still bursting at the seams with casualties from the war? He could have kissed Tsunade.

If he could get within 10-feet of the Hokage without the entire Anbu pinning him to the ground, that was.

But back on the topic, Sakura looked frantic for some reason as she hurried to lower the tongue depressor from his mouth. “Wait- Sasuke, let me-” She made to stand from her seat, placing a gentle hand on the bandaged stub of his arm, but he shifted away from her on the hospital bed and wiped at the incendiary evidence of how lame he felt at that moment.

When he brought his hand down, he paused and examined the blood on his knuckles. His first thought was to wonder if some wound had reopened.

It was common occurrence for Sasuke. He’d become desensitized to the little nits and pricks of negligible injuries, and, in the throes of battle especially, he would often find the blood before recognizing the pain associated with it.

But then the ticklish feeling in his nose caught his attention again, and he glanced down to see more and more drops of blood landing on the front of his hospital gown.

Not snot, was his second thought as Sakura shoved a handful of tissue paper in his face to staunch the blood.

And when her other hand came around the back of his neck and her warmth drew near to his side, and she started lecturing him to keep his head tilted down, not up, he was still deciding whether a nosebleed was a better or worse thing to have in front of her.

.

.

.

.

“Maybe this is one of the consequences of overtaxing your eyes,” Sakura said, and he couldn’t help noticing the way the deep green shards in her irises contracted as she stared back into his eyes.

He hn’ed distractedly, trying not to shift against her soft palms on both sides of his face. He was uncomfortable with the proximity of their positions as well as the fact that her breaths smelt of mint and something distinctly Sakura. His hands—well, hand…was clammy, and his stomach felt funny.

She’d been behaving differently—than he expected. Though he wasn’t sure exactly what he’d expected. He didn’t know her. Not anymore. And what he was learning of this new her bothered him.

He supposed what got him most was the anchored grace she carried as his primary physician when his prevalent impression of her was still the little girl that used to chase him around the village, that blushed and stammered, that wore her heart on her sleeves. Not to say he wanted her back – Sakura had grown, good for Sakura – but that girl had been familiar.

This one was not, and she was uprooting something deep inside him.

Then he felt it, the tickle in his nostril, and pulled away from Sakura’s hold.

“Sasuke-kun?” She blinked. He pressed the back of his hand to his nose to avoid staining his clothes again. “Again!?” He averted his gaze sheepishly and reached for the box of tissue at his bedside.

“This is the fourth time this week!”

Of course, she was counting.

“I swear, it could be a side-effect of all these seals for all we know! I can’t even heal you in this room.” She gestured in exasperation around the room, her choppy haircut almost bristling, and he found it amusing. She was getting angry.

.

On a second examination, he wasn’t sure what exactly was so amusing about her getting angry.

And yet it was.

“It’s just a nosebleed, Sakura. There’s no need for you to heal me,” he said, and she immediately deflated, hugging her arms to her chest.

“I know.” She smiled stiffly.

He frowned.

While he had spoken with the intention to calm her down, this outcome was not quite the one he’d hoped to achieve. It was unfair that she blamed him for resorting to monosyllabic answers when every time he formed a full sentence, she would find a way to take it negatively.

“It’s not the seals.” He checked the tissue paper and winced at how much blood there was. The blood hadn’t let up, so he pressed the tissue to his nose again. “They’ve always been used on prisoners.”

“But not to this degree!” She reached for his face. “You need to pinch the bridge…”

He avoided her hand and did as told himself. “Other prisoners don’t have a Rinnegan.”

Her hand dropped back to her side. She was silent for a moment, but he knew it was not for lack of a comeback as she kept her unwavering gaze on him.

“You’re not a prisoner, Sasuke-kun,” she said after a second. “You’re a patient. My patient. So just focus on recovering, and I promise you’ll be out of here before you know it.”

It was just an argument of semantics. But she smiled, such conviction in her eyes, and he decided he liked her way of putting it better.

.

.

.

The weather was nice when he was finally allowed to leave his room for fresh air, and although Sakura never said anything, he just knew with a startling certainty that she’d played a big part in convincing whichever prejudiced councilperson that he hadn’t been lying in wait for an opportunity to burn down the entire village when people weren’t looking.

Beyond what the eyes could see, he sensed the prickle of surveillance from a team of Anbu. A gauging kind of stillness rippled across the hospital’s semi-crowded corridors that Sakura led him through.

He didn’t need to be told, either, to know Sakura was going to accompany his strolls every time. That he was her charge, she was accountable for his actions, and whatever stakes she’d put down to have him walking outside in the daylight, he would need to protect.

He decided to be on his best behavior, and perhaps he should start with keeping his eyes on the ground and not looking at anyone in the eye to make sure he couldn’t be framed for trying to put people under a genjutsu. He knew how much his Rinnegan frightened others, even those who had no idea what they were looking at.

It had been humbling, he decided, to realize Sakura had no qualms about looking into his eyes, at him, when he’d been so sure he’d crushed her beyond repair with those very eyes.

They arrived at an empty corner (or more accurately, a hastily evacuated corner) of the courtyard, and she plopped down on the nearest bench before tapping the space next to her. There was a childish sparkle to her gaze, reminiscent of an older time long gone, and the nostalgia inside him half expected her to allude to the prospects of a date.

But he knew she wouldn’t, and she didn’t. Still, his stomach trembled with what he’d come to acknowledge as gladness. He was glad that little girl wasn’t completely gone.

To what end, was yet to be determined.

He sat down beside her, a good few inches between them.

He closed his eyes and leant back, face to the sunlight. The wind picked up around him, tousling his hair and skimming across his skin, tugging at his empty shirt sleeve. It was still strange not to have that arm.

“You know, Naruto and Kakashi-sensei wanted to come with us today.” He looked from the black chakra seal on his wrist to meet with her eyes. His own narrowed, part in confusion as to why the sudden subject, part in a grimace at how close this peaceful stroll had been to being the exact opposite. He thought he saw Sakura flinch, but he couldn’t be sure. There was no reason for her to.

“They got held up in a meeting with Tsunade-shishō,” she added.

“Hn.”

“It would have been nice to have our team together again.”

“Aa,” he said, not necessarily agreeing.

Sasuke stared at her as the silence between them grew. Judging from Sakura’s increasingly uncomfortable demeanor, he supposed it was the awkward sort of silence that people disliked. Because he was who he was, awkward or not hardly mattered, but he decided to do her a favor and break it.

“There’s a leaf in your hair.”

He hadn’t wanted to point it out. He liked the sight of her with it. Something about it undid ever so slightly the kempt doctor look and let him think about young, dirt-lodged fingernails combing through pink locks to untangle sweaty knots after a particularly difficult C-ranked mission.

“W-where?” She went abruptly from breathing a sigh of relief to running her hand through her hair, frantic yet also careful so as not to muss it up. The result was that the leaf remained firmly in her hair. “Is it gone?”

He watched a few more of her unsuccessful attempts before intervening.

“Stay still.”

She obeyed and became very still. He wasn’t sure if she was even breathing as his fingers thread through her hair (finer and softer than he’d imagined) and slid the tiny leaf down its length. The corner of his mouth quirked, despite himself, in amusement as he observed her cheeks taking on the lively flush of a tomato.

The immediate next moment, all the colors drained from her face.

“Sasuke-kun!”

He blinked, confused, before registering the warm heat rolling down across his lips.

Fuck.

.

.

.

.

It wasn’t like nosebleeds were foreign to Sasuke, but they usually accompanied the ringing numbness of being punched in the face, whether that was in training or actual combat.

And even then, they were few and far in-between. And never this often.

And for some reason always his left nostril. If there was even a reason. He could be eating or just sitting around doing nothing and the blood would start flowing.

Today, he was shaving and almost thought he’d cut himself.

The nosebleeds were annoying, even more than the bursts of phantom pain, (and not the same type of annoying as Sakura, he noted in a corner of his mind). He disliked them all the more because Sakura just happened to be there to catch every single instance of him bleeding out of his nose like some ailing wimp.

Sure, he was her patient. They were in a hospital, she in a white lab coat and he in a fucking gown, and the power imbalance between them couldn’t be anymore subverted. But this. This was pathetic.

Sasuke was never one for vanity. He didn’t try to impress anyone, but there was a certain degree of decorum his Uchiha pride demanded he maintained, and he had reasons to believe non-combat-related nosebleeds were rather high up on the list of things that sullied reputations. Directly behind Harem Jutsu-related ones, to be specific.

So, imagine his surprise, and great chagrin, when the coin was finally dropped by none other than Sai.

“You have strange tastes just like Dickless, Traitor-kun.”

It was hard to decide which part of that sentence was more offensive than the other.

Sasuke looked from Sakura, her back turned to speak with an Anbu member about his progress, to glare at his replacement on Team 7 and attempted to be as menacing as someone with tissue paper in their nose could be.

“Hah?”

Black irises stared back at Sasuke from behind the Lion mask. Sai shrugged. “I don’t get why you’d get excited over Ugly.”

Although Sasuke had sworn to himself he would punch Sai the next time the socially incompetent creep referred to Sakura as ugly, he simply found himself frozen in the spot.

“Well, seems they’re done. I’d best be going. Later, Traitor-kun.”

With a methodical wave of goodbye, Sai was gone with his Anbu teammate.

“Sasuke-kun, good news!” Sakura came back to his side, bright smile on her face, and his stomach did that damning flip again. He could feel the blood creeping up his throat even as he met eyes with her.

“Are you okay?” Her expression turned concerned, and she came up even closer to try and check his temperature, prompting him to take a step back, half-afraid of burning her with the heat on his face. “You look flushed.”

“Fine.” He avoided her gaze and pulled up the front of his baggy hospital shirt to shield as much of him from her as possible. “Just the nosebleed.” And his heart sank with great rue at the reminder of what these nosebleeds had meant this whole time.

“Oh, well they said I can bring you to the main wing for some tests. Let’s go tomorrow so I can finally take a look at it.”

“There’s no need for that.” He immediately regretted how quickly and harshly he’d said it.

“What? Why not?” She sounded affronted, but it just so happened that he cared very little right now.

“Just forget about it.” He turned sharply to head into the bathroom connected to his room.

“Sasuke-”

He slammed the door behind him and collapsed back against it.

Taking a deep, stabilizing breath, Sasuke could only sigh at the red-faced idiot staring back at him in the mirror.

.

.

.

“Hoooh?” Kakashi, who’d dropped in to visit, drawled in a way that was deliberately sleazy. He was peeking over his orange Icha Icha book with a glint of shrewd amusement in his eyes that Sasuke had since his genin days decided he did not like. It had usually meant something he did not wish to discuss was going to be discussed, and Kakashi was going to enjoy that discussion at Sasuke’s expense.

True to his Anbu roots, the man had a penchant for noticing things that others usually would not, and it was only due to his blatant disinterest for anything not porn that many in Konoha could sleep at night.

Sasuke, unfortunately, would not have that luxury tonight.

“What?” He griped from his bed as he pressed tissue paper to his nose. Sakura had left the room due to an emergency in another wing, but the effect of her presence remained. He had wished this would not happen around Kakashi.

He knew acting irritated was only going to encourage Kakashi to pursue the topic with extra teasing efforts, but it was either he passed off the flush to his skin as ire or let it be seen as what it was: utter mortification.

Kakashi closed the book in one quick motion, slipped it into the pocket of his vest, and sat back in his chair, looking completely smug underneath his mask. “It appears you’ve come over to this side as well.”

“Excuse me?” Sasuke breathed in abject horror at the implication. He was most definitely not in league with Naruto or Kakashi. Or, god forbid, the Ero Sennin.

“I understand where you are, Sasuke.” Kakashi held up his hands in a placating manner. “Trust me, I was once like you as well. My nasal lining is thinner than average and I get nosebleeds easier than others.”

…Oh. Sasuke relaxed a little. He was about to respond with a noncommittal Hn when Kakashi continued.

“It mortified me as a child because I would bleed constantly just from seeing beautiful women around the village. I was such a serious kid.” Kakashi sighed fondly before a stunned Sasuke. At Sasuke’s expression, the man gestured to himself. “Why do you think I started wearing this mask?”

“Because it made you look cool?” Sasuke offered, almost beseeching. Anything else. Anything but that.

Kakashi shook his head with facetious gloom. “Even now I’m washing blood off of it at the end of the day.”

Sasuke’s mouth dropped open. Since coming back, he had been thinking about perhaps spending more effort to get to know his sensei to make up for lost time, but this wasn’t at all what he had in mind.

“I…don't think that’s the case for me, Kakashi,” he said carefully, lest he stepped on any of the man’s feelings; though a part of him wasn’t entirely sure those feelings should even be protected.

“I had a lot of denial at first, too. I was miserable. It got easier once I accepted what I felt.” Kakashi got up from his seat and approached Sasuke with a grim look in his eyes. Sasuke suddenly felt open and vulnerable, with his only arm occupied by the nosebleed and unable to defend(?) him. “You need to embrace who you are, Sasuke.” The man reached for him, and he nearly flinched from the head pat. “Kidding!”

Sasuke blinked up at his sensei.

“You should have seen your face, my boy.” Kakashi laughed heartily and stepped back, hands in his pockets. “Sakura told me about what’s been going on with you. It’s just the seals.”

Sasuke scowled, both angry and confused, which was never a good thing considering his track record. “What?”

“The seals. It’s rare, but I’ve seen it happened when people tried to use their chakra while under these seals, especially for dōjutsu.”

He held Kakashi’s gaze suspiciously, freshly sore at being made fun of. But the matter-of-fact tone was one his sensei reserved for teaching, and he knew this was worthwhile information. “But I’m not trying to use any,” he said.

“Oh, I can tell.” A teasing smirk crinkled Kakashi’s eyes. “How I just wonder what you’re unconsciously using around our lovely Sakura.” Sasuke’s jaw locked as the older man wiped away an imaginary tear from his eye. “I’m happy for you, Sasuke. I was afraid my cute students were going to grow old alone.”

“Kakashi,” he said warningly, and Kakashi laughed.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul about this.” He winked. “It’ll be a secret between us closet perverts.”

The heat on Sasuke’s face intensified, and he was glaring at his sensei so hard, the man might have burst into Amaterasu-fire if it hadn’t been for the seals restricting his chakra.

.

.

.

.

“This is not normal, Sasuke-kun,” she said as they were returning from another stroll.

Sasuke agreed, but not in the sense that she’d meant. “Hn.” He didn’t meet her eyes as he dabbed at the blood in his nose. At least it dried up quickly this time.

“You have got to let me check it out.”

“Haven’t I?” He paused. “And haven’t you?”

She gave him a pointed look, arms crossed. “I was practically wrestling you just to look inside your nose!”

Which was particularly unhelpful for his…condition.

He crumpled up the bloodied tissue paper and put on his annoyed face in hope to get her to drop the subject. But there was also a creeping sense of resignation that he was getting worse and worse at handling Sakura. (Then again, nothing he’d ever done had deterred her before, so it was a small mystery how he’d gained the otherwise confidence in the first place.)

“And you said nothing was amiss.”

“Which is why I need to give you an actual checkup!” She threw her hands up. “I don’t understand why you’re being so stubborn about this!”

He stopped abruptly and turned to hold her glare for a moment. “Nothing’s hurting.” Except his pride.

“That doesn’t mean anything. Don’t you turn your back to me! We’re not done here!”

He continued down the hallway toward his room and didn’t look back.

.

.

.

.

He could feel her eyes boring into his back and kept still just to maintain the theatre, even though he knew she knew he was awake. A part of him felt like the child she must think of him, that he was depending on mere layers of blankets to keep himself insulated from the things that he feared.

It was an interesting thought, fearing Sakura—when he could think of much more unpleasant company to be with. But her presence had always unsettled him in some abstract, primal way, and learning just why that was finally, brought not only insecurity but also guilt.

For having trampled on her feelings with every turn of his heel.

For still doing so even now, as it appeared.

He felt her lean against the bed and tensed, anticipating some kind of touch. It never came.

“I’m sorry if you think I was overstepping.” There was a sigh mixed in with her whispered tone. “I’ve just been…” Her sentence died down to silence, and there was another sigh. “Good night.”

When she pulled away, he had a sudden, inexplicable urge to grab and pull her back. One he had to stop himself from acting on.

“Hn.” He grunted when she neared the doorway. It was the only sound he trusted himself to make.

She was silent, but he had no doubt she’d heard him. “I have the shift tonight. Call me if you need me, Sasuke-kun.” And she left after switching the lights off and resealing the door as per protocol.

He had no idea what sort of expression she had made with his back turned, but he hoped, and imagined, it to be that small smile she always gave that meant he had been forgiven.

.

.

.

No one shared walls with him. It was quite obvious when he lay awake at night and didn’t have to listen to the traumatized screams of the other patients.

He was glad, then, that neither could they hear him when he woke up shouting at the darkness.

He was in a pool of his own sweat, heart beating its way out of his ribcage and non-existent arm hurt as if skewered by a thousand senbons. He dug his fingers into his shoulder blade, and, at that moment, would gladly give up the rest of the arm if it meant the pain would stop.

A pitiful noise escaped his throat. He eyed the call button glowing a soft red in the night.

All he had to do was reach for the button and Sakura might just punch through walls if it meant getting to him even a little bit faster. His teeth bared in a poor-humored smirk. He let go of a shaky breath and turned resolutely away, banishing those thoughts back to the shadows where they belonged.

He didn’t need her.

But he supposed he did want her.

He wanted her. He wanted Sakura. Here. Now.

Still, he wouldn’t press that button. Night terrors were hardly emergencies, and this wasn’t even something Sakura could fix. Imagine the paperwork she would have to deal with afterwards just because he decided to act like a spoiled child.

He wouldn’t press the button. But, staring at the door, he found himself wishing she would come anyway.

That wasn’t how life worked, though. He wasn’t Naruto, but he too was an orphan. He knew how it was. You either ask for or take what you want, or you simply fall through the cracks.

But then he saw the seal over door start to recede silently, and his eyes went wide. He pushed himself up on the bed, taut with anticipation and disbelief, as the door opened with excruciating slowness. A part of him, the misanthropic, world-weary part, was just waiting for it to reveal someone else and crush any crumb of hope he might have had to fine dust.

It was a stupid thought and he knew it. The moment the seal burnt away, he could tell it was her chakra on the other side of the door, humming ever so gently as always, if not a little dulled and frazzled from the late night.

But it was easier than addressing the gratefulness that was welling up inside his lungs.

After what felt like an eternity later, Sakura’s familiar figure walked in and closed the door, the seal mending itself together behind her. Even without the aid of the Sharingan, he easily found green eyes in the dim moonlight.

“Sasuke-kun?”

It was only when he needed to respond that he realized he’d been holding his breath.

“…Sakura.”

He dropped back down on the bed, all strength vacating his muscles, and screwed his burning eyes shut. His hand still cradled his shoulder loosely, and he felt, rather than heard, her hurriedly approaching his bedside to bring her hand over his.

“Does it hurt?”

“Aa.” He didn’t mind the useless question like he usually would. Only congratulated himself on successfully keeping his voice from cracking.

She didn’t say anything as her fingers squeeze over his, gently but firmly.

“Do you…” He began after a while, opening his eyes to find hers. “—just come to my room for no reason at night?”

If she thought he sounded accusing, he was glad she didn’t apologize; because he wasn’t trying to be. She took some time deciding how to answer him, and he was oddly pleased she didn’t look away as she did so. “I overheard you screaming from nightmares last week and well—” Her gaze darted away for a fraction of a second, where she bit her lower lip, before settling back on him. “I just worry.”

He grunted breathily from the pain and a poignant frustration.

Of course, she had. And of course, she did.

He cracked his eyes open again and attempted to determine her expression in the darkness, fearing it was pity. It wasn’t. She just looked sad and hurt, and he didn’t entirely understand why.

He could feel that now familiar tingle in his nostril again, and the blood soon came spilling down across his mouth. He made no attempt to hide from her widening eyes. It was perhaps his fate, he decided, to have her always witnessing him at his most ugly, most shameful, like he wasn’t already enough of a miserable wreck in front of her.

“Sasuke-kun!”

Her hand flinched away from his to reach for the box of paper tissue, and an inexplicable feeling of emptiness gripped at him.

“No.” He held her back by the wrist and met her startled eyes. “Just…” He grimaced from another sharp lance of pain and might be squeezing her harder than he meant to. If it hurt her, she never protested and only remained quiet. Patient. As always.

And he reasoned. And argued and bargained. What was one more prideless moment before her?

“Just stay like this for a bit.”

.

.

When he woke again, it was almost morning. The pain was gone, but not her, who sat dutifully at his bedside. She told him her shift was about to end, and he finally let go of her hand.

“Thank you,” he said just as she was about to leave. His scratchy voice was loud in the silence of the room, and he hoped she would hear the apology within. She said nothing and only smiled the way he’d hope she would the night before.

.

.

.

.

.

There was a thundering march of footfalls barreling down toward Sasuke’s end of the hallway, and the stupid face that jumped to the front of his mind made him close his eyes in sufferance.

“Bastard!” He heard the muffled voice from the other side of the wall and pinched the bridge of his nose, already sensing an incoming wave of migraine.

“Oi, Sasuke bastard!” Naruto practically kicked his way into the room, the seal dissipating like embers around him, and right away was all up in Sasuke’s personal space, grabbing his shirt and dragging him to his bare feet. “What is this about you possibly dying and refusing treatment!?”

“What are you even-”

“Don’t you lie, Sakura-chan just told me! Do you know how worried she’d been, you incorrigible bastard!? Why can’t you just do as told for once in your life!? I didn’t bring you back just so you can go die to some perfectly curable disease!”

Beside being mildly surprised that the idiot even knew the word incorrigible, Sasuke was too speechless to even be properly annoyed. He hadn’t the slightest idea what the idiot was talking about.

“Answer me, bastard!” At his stunned silence, Naruto started shaking him. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”

“St-stop that, idi-” He winced, feeling the pressure on some of the smaller, more persistent cracks in his bones that Sakura had left to heal naturally. She had said it was healthier for the body, but he also suspected some outside pressure forcing her hand to keep him hospitalized and in suboptimal condition.

“Naruto!” Sakura’s voice got them both turning toward the door. In a split second, the blond was smacked audibly upside the head and promptly dropped Sasuke back against the bed. Sakura stepped in between him and Naruto, her back to him and hands on her hip.

“Ow! Sakura-chan! Why-”

“He’s a patient for god’s sake. Not everyone has monstrous healing like you. Manhandling him like that, are you crazy!?”

“Me!? You’re getting mad at me!? What about the bastard? He’s the one trying to die!” Naruto pointed an incriminating finger at him.

“If he really is then you’re not helping!” She turned to him, and immediately he felt every cell in his body respond to her hands on his chest, checking the bandages under his disheveled shirt. “Are you alright, Sasuke-kun?” No. No, he was not. Surely, being hyperaware of what her presence could do to him did not help his situation. “Did anything reopen?”

“I don’t th-”

When he glanced down, he stared at the dot of blood blooming on her white coat sleeve and decided then and there the entire universe conspired against him.

His hand shot up to cover his face, but it was too late.

“Bastard!” “Sasuke-kun!”

The speed at which the colors drained from his teammates face was as if they were the ones bleeding out, which would have been funny if Sasuke wasn’t busy regretting ever being born. Naruto sprung into action and started ushering Sasuke backward.

“L-lie down, bastard! Don’t you die on us!”

Sasuke let out an unintentional oof as he was heaved by the torso a few inches off the floor and deposited back onto the bed.

“Calm down, idiot!” Blood freely flowed from his nose during his feeble attempt at fighting Naruto’s seemingly herculean strength, the blond relentlessly trying to pin him on his back. It was frustrating because they were supposed to be equally handicapped. “I’m fi-”

“No! Naruto, he has to keep his head down.” Sakura joined the fray and extracted Naruto from him before she once again was too close. She guided him to sit on the edge of the bed and, in stark contrast to the firm fingers at the back of his neck, started to gingerly wipe at the blood on his face with tissue paper.

“I can do it myself, Saku-”

“Kakashi-sensei, get out of my way!” Naruto said, and Sasuke snapped his gaze to the door where Kakashi was trying to calm the blond down while remaining resolutely in Naruto’s way, causing him to become even more agitated and vocal. Sasuke would have slapped a hand to his face had his only one wasn’t busy trying to wrangle the tissue paper from Sakura’s hold.

Distracted from yelling at Naruto, Sakura’s hold slackened, and Sasuke took the chance to take over. She glanced back at him in a quick assessment before releasing him and returning her attention to Naruto and Kakashi.

Now, Sasuke had few ideas of the politics that went on outside of hospital walls.

Sakura only gave the good news, and Naruto spoke in future tense, borderline grandiose in the things he promised would happen once he got through to the ‘old fogeys,’ to quote his words. Kakashi just gave Sasuke porn (which he had leveled a disdainful scowl at, but eventually read anyway out of boredom).

What little Sasuke did know, he’d overheard from the doctors and nurses that wandered too far down his hallway, and he knew it wasn’t looking good for him.

All things considered, he really didn’t need—this. This whole situation. With both Sakura and Naruto screaming and arguing like children, Kakashi being too amused for someone who was supposed to be the mediating adult, and Sasuke trying to get them all off his case. And failing miserably.

“I have to go get help! Sasuke bastard’s dying!”

“Now, now, I think you’re overreacting a little, Naruto. Plus, isn’t his doctor already here?”

Naruto whipped around, a hint of sharp canines amongst his bared teeth, and pointed at Sasuke. “Bastard, tell us what’s wrong now.”

“Stop aggravating him, stupid Naruto!”

“Why are you on his side!? He’s the stubborn asshole here!”

“I’m on no one’s side! You need to—”

Sasuke chuckled, effectively silencing the entire room as all eyes gathered on him. On another day, he would have lamented being the center of attention, but right now, he just felt oddly light-hearted as he tried to contain his amusement, his entire frame shaking from his effort.

“Sa-Sasuke-kun?”

“Oh no.” Naruto’s voice was a breathless whisper. “Sasuke bastard broke.”

Kakashi just hummed contemplatively.

When he’d gotten a hold of himself, he lifted his gaze to each of the room’s occupant, from Naruto’s slack-jawed confusion, to Kakashi’s smiling eyes, and finally Sakura’s blushing awe. It was just like old times.

“You’re not really dying, are you? Was it because I punched you too hard?” Naruto appeared next to him as if he wasn’t just royally pissed a moment ago and pulled at his sleeve with an almost pleading look. “Is it chakra related? Would lending you some of Kurama’s help?”

Sasuke had a feeling that might just make the problem worse. “Hn.”

“What the heck does that mean!?”

“Naruto.” Sakura warned. Naruto coughed.

Kakashi came to stand before them. “Aw, isn’t this a lovely sight. Your old sensei’s heart is melting.”

“Kakashi.” Sasuke glared at the man, who grinned wider under his mask.

“Look, I’m sorry for yelling. Just, I don’t want you to die, bastard. We just got you back.”

“Aa.” He moved the tissue to check if the blood had stopped. It had. He crumpled up the bloodied tissue and tossed it into the bin. Noticing Sakura’s concerned gaze, he added. “I’ll be fine. They're just nosebleeds, Sakura.”

“Sasuke-kun, when they’re this often—” Sasuke tried to ignore the smirk Kakashi was giving him out the corners of his eyes. “—it could be something serious. I just want to run some blood tests to make sure.”

“Let her take a look at you, bastard!” Naruto prodded at his arm. “You’re not afraid of needles, are you? What kind of shinobi is afraid of needles?”

He spared the blond a brief glare before returning to Sakura. Her eyes were sad again, and he felt guilty that he’d neglected to realize this was bothering her so much.

“Fine.”

“Yes! That’s what I’m talking about, bastard!” Naruto slapped his shoulder painfully, earning another half-hearted glare from him.

“Really?”

“Hn. Nothing’s wrong with me. But if it’ll put you at ease, you can see for yourself.”

“Good news all around, then,” Kakashi said, but Sasuke hardly noticed.

Sakura gave him a wide grin as she thanked him profusely, and where he would have pointed out that her gratitude didn’t make sense, Sasuke simply found himself staring at the way her entire demeanor has brightened and how the light danced in the green of her eyes. Belatedly, he caught onto her alarmed look and resisted the urge to sigh, partly because it would spray blood everywhere.

“Sasuke-kun!” “What is it, Sakur—Bastard!?”

And there was shouting as Naruto worked himself into a frenzy, clattering as Sakura knocked over a tray getting the tissue paper to him, and unrestrained laughter as Kakashi stood back and watched it all unfold.

As his teammates fussed over him and chided their sensei for not helping, Sasuke kept his head down and cupped his palm over the nosebleed, a small smile hidden beneath his fingers.

[theajaheira]

sldkfj hey this is dumb i was the anon talking about willow from earlier and i was gonna respond in an ask but it turns out i have a lot! of feelings about this topic! and i didn’t want to send you a bunch of asks bc when that happens to me i get anxiety. so!

that’s a really fair point about xander! as the only one of the og scoobies to not have (or gain) Powers later on, i do think moments where he gets to be the hero are important. i really wish he had been utilized more as a strategist? anyway. honestly a big portion of my issues with xander being the one to give buffy cpr is that it in the context of the episode it feels like he’s being. idk. rewarded? he handles buffy’s rejection of him… poorly, both with her, and later with willow.i don’t really mind this - he’s a 16 year old, and i don’t think that reaction was necessarily out of character for him - but when he gets to step in at the end and save buffy (especially when it’s put against buffy’s love interest, who can’t), it feels like he’s being rewarded, yknow? and that lack of consequences for the way he treats buffy (esp. re: angel) is something we see more of in s2 (which, especially after innocence, feels so incredibly mean-spirited), so i kinda balk at it on instinct.

my main argument for willow giving her cpr is that we’ve seen willow really gain self-confidence since ‘welcome to the hellmouth’. “you think i want to go to the dance with you and watch you wish you were at the dance with her? […] you should know better.” she’s standing up for herself! and while she’ll get a chance to do something Big for the plot like this in becoming 2, her restoring angel’s soul feels kind of undercut by the fact that buffy still has to kill him. so imo willow giving buffy cpr in prophecy girl would have been a really nice way to highlight the way she’s gaining the confidence to act on her own.

giles also would have been good, but honestly kinda love the idea of jenny giving her cpr? so much of giles’s development in the early seasons is him realizing that what the council says is best for the slayer is not necessarily what is best for buffy (and then having to grapple with the fall out of caring about her as a daughter and a slayer). so i think if giles and jenny had gone after her, giles would have found her and been devastated and very guilty, but like… this was what happened. the prophecy had said the slayer would die, and he couldn’t find a way around it, so it came to pass, and that’s it.

but jenny’s character has always been about challenging and expanding traditional understandings of magic, and integrating modern knowledge into old beliefs. in that same vein, i don’t think jenny would really see buffy as The Slayer yet - in canon giles had only told her like, a few hours prior? - so where giles sees the outcome of a prophecy he failed to stop, she sees a teenager that could maybe still be saved, and acts accordingly.

i also think this would add an interesting wrinkle to giles and jenny’s relationship in s2. like, 'you saved someone i care about a lot and i’m profoundly grateful’ but also 'you had to step in and do my job for me, and i feel weird and inadequate because of it’

sldkfj sorry this was so long apparently i have a lot of Hot Takes about prophecy girl and s1 in general.

(submitted by @boghierophant, who tumblr refuses to let me tag)

going to respond to these EXCELLENT thoughts under the cut!

oh you are ABSOLUTELY correct that within canon it would honestly have been better as Anyone But Xander like nvlkshs i hope i did convey that point in my original ask. and i do kinda like the thought of like .... from xander’s pov, willow becoming this Indisputably Important person to buffy in the same way he wanted to be? like especially within the context of the fucking awful way he treated willow all through the first season, because watching her pine over him and him dismiss and belittle her was so damn painful. so thank you for that thought because it honestly would’ve changed the entire thematic impact of xander’s behavior -- it’s a representation of the fact that if you treat girls as objects of desire, you’re never going to actually Get The Girl. i like that as a message.

and !!!!!! jenny!!!! i think that could also be a good idea because she’s someone who’s just TOTALLY distant from the scoobies, so there could be that feeling from giles of “she doesn’t know what she’s doing, and she only defied prophecy because she’s an outsider who doesn’t understand the role of a watcher the way i do.” so season two giles and jenny might take on a super different bend of mingled combativeness and budding attraction -- like kind of a slow burn that’s got more of the angry energy of i robot, you jane than the gentle sweetness of early-s2 dorky calendiles. lots of reboot comics energy where jenny sees buffy as a teenager and giles thinks that this is a dangerous way to look at the situation (because in a lot of ways he’s desensitized himself to the horror of the situation).

to some degree my frustration with the narrative comes from xander just .... theoretically continually being allowed to Be Terrible to the women in his life and face literally no consequences. he cheats on cordelia, he guilts buffy, he strings willow along until he finds better options, and i cannot even TALK about anya without absolutely flipping my lid. but i love him so much in the reboot comics -- they took some of the more fascinating aspects of his character (his insecurity, his self-hatred, his feeling that he’s the “useless one”) and played THOSE up instead of leaning into toxic masculinity. a narrative where xander’s allowed to, like, actually not be a dick is something that always has a soft spot in my heart, so like ... i like that it’s xander (in theory) but i hate that it’s xander (in practice, bc that potential never gets utilized within tv canon) and you make some fucking good points about it not being xander that i very much enjoy.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi! Hope you're doing well~! I was happy to see that you like Shingen and The Mitsus- I kinda called it, haha! However I'm wondering if you guys are also familiar with/had an opinion on Edgar Bright from IkeRev because I feel like he fits your character type too? I literally downloaded the game for him because I never pass on #PrettyBoyAngst~

Hiya friend!! Tysm I’m good, I hope you’re doing well, too! :D Haha, they are indeed my favorites! You guessed right! Long live Shingen (too soon? too soon...) and the Mitsus!! 

Quick warning, I know the game has been out for a while but spoilers for Edgar rt below!!!!

I have indeed played IkeRev, and you are spot on!! My top three bias list from that game is Lance, Edgar, and Fenrir! (surprising no one lmao) I can’t make a cup of hot cocoa anymore without hearing in my head “AND YOU JUST HAVE TO TELL THEM EVERYTHING’S FINE BUT IT’S NOT FINE AND NO ONE WILL EVER UNDERSTA--” Edgar’s route just sincerely hits different. Like holy actual shit yo, boy smuggles us candy all I want to do is give him some sugar, c’mon IkeRev ;-; (CLAUDIUS IF I SEE YOUR MUSTY ASS IT’S ON SIGHT, ON SIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T FUCKING TEST ME YOU MONOPOLY GUY BITCH ASS--)

Honestly, Edgar is what we all wish ATLA Azula could have had. Yeah he was raised in a rotten environment and did what he had to do to survive, but the guy sincerely didn’t enjoy what he was coerced into doing ;-; and there was never anybody there to protect him. I cry whenever I start thinking about how he saw Zero in sincere need of guidance and affection, and went over to him without a second thought. (Granted, one could argue that Edgar benefited from Zero’s clear inability to fit in, but I really don’t see it that way. Edgar had no obligation to help him out, and very little incentive beyond a desire for mutual friendship. Despite their differences in status and/or capacity, Edgar treats Zero with no shortage of respect and consideration--he just teases him a lot LMFAO) Even when they bicker (IT’S ALMOST LIKE COMTE AND JEANNE AHAAHAHAHH I’M WHEEZING) it’s abundantly clear that neither of them have an ounce of real ill will directed at each other. 

I guess that’s also a sizable point of what I love about him. Against all odds, against everything he was taught and raised to do, he still chooses love. He doesn’t like hurting people, he doesn’t find any pleasure in the power plays/impositions that his uncle lives for. He just likes making people smile and laugh, he just wants to live normally like anybody else--his smarts and his skills be damned. At his core, he was a kid that was raised to be a monster, but even Claudius couldn’t beat the humanity out of him. There is...an utterly heartbreaking, but also profoundly moving aspect to that kind of tension. 

(Now that I write it, it reminds me a lot of Comte and Leonardo. They were both expected to take their place in the hierarchy of vampire/human society, but they both reject it so vehemently. They don’t see human beings as pawns, they don’t see them as playthings or even sources of nourishment. They acknowledge what they are, but they want to treat people with as much dignity and compassion as they can regardless. In the ageless words of Iroh, “Perfection and power are overrated. I think you were very wise to choose happiness and love.” While they may have been able to understand all of this on an instinctive level, they actively chose it over every motivation/coercion they were offered to be cruel and unfeeling. They bear their scars for choosing what’s important to them, just as Edgar does. It is a unique but debilitating pain that comes with being unanimously rejected by your community because you choose to deny the expectations of your upbringing and social status, especially when the standards that were imposed on you were glaringly immoral to begin with.)

And the thing that kills me the most is that Edgar just. Has always done this, has always chosen what’s right as much as he was able no matter how painfully thankless--if not actively harmful to his well-being--these choices were. So when MC takes notice, when she makes a conscious effort to return that mindfulness, he’s floored. It literally changes the landscape of his mind, he goes into a god damn crisis to be able to process what just happened. Imagine being so desensitized to positive attention that you have a trauma response in trying to deal with direct, unfettered goodwill. And don’t even get me started on that desperate moment where he just loses every ounce of calm when MC briefly loses faith in him/wavers. I don’t even remember the exact words exchanged I just remember the sheer devastation in the wake of that scene, the way I cried. There are no words for how much I love him and how little that man has been allowed to live. (AND LANCE SUPPORTING MY BOY!!!!!!!!! SCREAMING AND CRYING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

Also. Idk if you've seen the “my desires are unconventional” Edgar memes but the ducky and roller coaster ones just SEND me, it was literally the reason I decided to do his route and I regret NOTHING 😂😂😂 

And the Creeks!!!! The Creek family!!!! I sob!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So pure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Though now that you mention it there are a lot of elements in Edgar’s rt that align with Leonardo/Comte rt, feeling exposed 😂😂😂. I guess between them and Shingen/the Mitsus, one thing that I find really, really attractive is this notion of being kind to people with a deeply compassionate motivation. It’s not enough to say nice things, it’s the fact that they do care about the people they’re paying attention to, and seek to de-escalate conflict (whether internalized or externalized) as much as they can before it reaches an explosive point. They’re good to people with very little--if anything--to be gained in return, and they know what’s worth being grateful for in life. There is a breadth of altruism that is simply unmatched by some of the other suitors, a maturity that just draws me in like the proverbial moth to the flame; I fall head over heels in milliseconds. 

I do this a lot in real life but they are what I like to call “ninja nice”. They are schemin’ bois but the scheme is wanting to make you smile!!!! And it’s so god damn wholesome ;-; it never fails to make me laugh

I’m also deeply interested in this idea of “love at play.” It’s apparently a pretty common literary device/premise, but I wasn’t made fully aware of it until recently. The implication is that relationships are not only built on mutual feelings of affection, but also on a kind of language that people develop together; they find ways by which they comfortably tease, or poke fun, or just enjoy the same things and joke around while doing it. It may seem pretty intuitive to some, but for me this was a very new concept--I’ve never really seen it done before. And yet, I can see for myself that I tend to seek it out a lot without even knowing, and I think it’s a beautiful and crucial thing for people to share. It really makes me so happy to see :D <33333

So yeah, this is a house where we love and cherish Edgar Bright!!! I got a little side-tracked, but I hope I’ve answered your questions! Oh yeah, and as a note my wife also does love Edgar as well, we tend to share biases LMAO (Never on purpose, we always just watch/play the same stuff and come back like “THIS ONE!!!!!!!! YOU TOO!?!!?!? FLKHJAHGKHDLKJ”)

[wincore]

AGREEEE, WORKING OVER THE WEEKEND IS THE WORST esp since im in uni full time and i work 9-5 on the weekends which means... no breaks for me ever.. 🥲

MASSIVE CRUSH ON OIKAWA OMGGG I SUPPORT THIS!!!!! but i am unfortunately much older than 15 and still enamored by 2d men 😔 life’s rough like that HDJWKDJ YES ATSUMU CAUSES PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE.. HES THE WORST!! btw.. ive heard that the oikawa to atsumu stan pipeline is very real... so if u get to s4.. u may develop atsumu brain rot like me 👁_👁

OOO alright run on, extracurricular, vincenzo, true beauty, love alarm, & perfect crime. NOTED!! ive actually been meaning to watch extracurricular for a while now, it looks so interesting!! now that it has the wincore seal of approval i must watch 😤 OMGG SAKURADA DORI I SAW HIM IN ALICE IN BORDERLAND!! super good show but really gore heavy at some points 👁

ahh ok thank u for the reccs, ive been thinking about starting demon slayer too!! shoplifters sounds really interesting :oo crime??? i havent watched a full movie in a while so i will def check it out!! THESE R ALL GOING IN MY NOTES APP.

NEXT YEARRR omg it sounds far away but i know time passes so quickly nowadays so I WILL WISH U LUCK ONCE AGAIN 💛 i hope u update us when the time comes!!

UGHWHHD EVEN THIS SYNOPSIS IS MAKING ME MISS UR WRITING?!? I LOVE THE WAY U WORD IT... “given a choice to pretend, you find that jaehyun is the lesser of the two burdens to bear” AHHHHHHH omg “he’s in a relationship and doesn’t rlly care about the soulmate system” THIS IS ALWAYS SUCH A PAINFUL SCENARIO IN SOULMATE AUS PLSS!!! Wait is the soulmate of yn gonna be an oc/vague character or another member :O EITHER WAY... PAIN! THIS IS GETTING ME SO EXCITED AND U HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT JAEHYUN’S LIKE IN THIS FIC YET

RUNWAY CHARACTER CAMEOOOS YESS I LOVE RUNWAY YN!!!! i actually reread it last night and ugh i was reminded how much i love yns personality... just the process of experiencing all tht self doubt with them!!! so real & makes u root for them :’)

“if jeno plays edward i need him to that apple scene like taemin did” WHHHHHWJDJJWJDBW THIS MADE ME CHOKE ON THE WATER I WAS DRINKING LMFAO

GODDDD THESE TROPE/MEMBER PAIRINGS, HARD AGREE HARD AGREE!!! HAECHAN AND RENJUN ARE E2L 100%!!!! i think bc the ppl in the bff2l category cant convincingly hate yn back LOL

“gets complimented on his lyricism often but like every song’s about you” STOPPPPP HES SO PERFDCT FOR THIS TROPE!!!!!

OMG I SEE EXACTLY WHAT U MEAN ABT SICHENG IN ROYALTY/CHAEBOL AUS... i think like u said it’s because of his poise & the way ppl are generally in awe of him but also bc of his reluctance to open up!! more reserved until he trusts u... funny and kind but sometimes perceived as aloof... those r some prince tendencies! “what are corporate businesses but modern day kingdoms” LMFAOOWJDJ SERIOUSLY THO

“mans really said i will not give you any onscreen idol personality to work with” HDJWJDJWJSJ LITERALLYYYY this is why i have trouble reading jaehyun fics sometimes bc sometimes they can feel “inaccurate” but its mostly just bc there’s no Standard Personality Stereotype to go off of. but a random & uncommon trope i think he’d pair well with is exes to lovers!! Yes im basically just a jaehyun + angst advocate.

“i think most of them would pair well with bff2l??” FACTTTTTTT and no im not just saying this bc its one of my favorite tropes.. heh... i think i told u this before?? but ur like the main reason i started enjoying e2l!!! i didnt like it before bc i love the PINING in bff2l but then i started reading ur works n was like OH SHIT! THERES LOADS OF PINING HERE TOO...

i think yangyang is not bff2l or e2l, he is in his own category which is Annoyer2Lover HDJWKDJ ex: troublemaker, wasted nights

OMGGGG I DID NOT EXPECT ROYALTY AU TO HAVE SUCH A LARGE LEAD IN THE SURVEY??? and cryptids is so low 😔😔 cmon guys, vampires r fun!!!

WE R LITERALLY WRITING ESSAYS TO EACH OTHER RN BUT I LOVE IT 🥺🥺 its a such a nice break to read ur response when im burnt out from studying!!

OMG IM GOING THROUGH #moonwrites AND IM LITERALLY AN IDIOTTTT IVE BEEN OFF TUMBLR FOR SO LONG I DIDNT REALIZE THAT ROMEO ROULETTE HAD A PREVIEW OUT????

“And I get what out of this?” “Me?” IM IN LOVE WITH THIS CHARACTERS PERSONALITY ALREADY LMFAOO

“—and when this whole game you’re playing is over, you’re going to say I rejected you.” ?!?!???? THE WAY JAEHYUN IS A LITTLE SHIT! THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE BOTH SO FUN PLSJWJDJEJ IM MORE EXCITED NOW!!

pls disregard the part in my last ask where i asked abt romeo roulette.... i had no idea all of the information i needed was sitting right in front of me 😔😔

- tata

WHAT 9 TO 5 ON EVERY WEEKEND???? the system has failed you this honestly feels like a villain origin story 😭 when does it get better???

ALSO let me answer the other asks separately for better readability lol we really out here writing essays GOOD THING i have practice writing but like. this is infinitely better to write 🥰

PLSSS SOMETIMES I WILL SEE AN EDIT/TIKTOK OF OIKAWA AND BE LIKE DAMN I REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP I MISS THIS MF also are you daring me to ruin my life for 2d men bc i will do it without hesitation. wait till i watch hq again and get that atsumu brainrot with you he seems annoying enough for me to like ^_^

AND YES PLS I WAS SO ABSORBED IN IT!! extracurricular was the most gripping show i’ve watched in a while like yes enough teen romance give me two unhinged teenagers doing crime 🤩 AND OMG??? THAT’S WHERE WE SAW HIM TOO and although niragi was literally vomit-inducing human trash, sakurada dori is like. a good actor. except i hated coffee&vanilla which starred him it was literally so cringe i couldn’t 😭 i blame the writers for that though. IM EXCITED FOR S2 OF ALICE IN BORDERLAND THO i really like horror (and i can tolerate gore if ive been desensitized enough) and like i read the manga too!!! the games were really interesting (although morbid).

😭😭 MY NOTES APP IS FULL OF RECS FROM FRIENDS ALL OF THEM HATE ME FOR NOT WATCHING THE SHOWS BUT LIKE. i binge 3 or 4 at a time and strike them off and then go 6 months without watching a single tv series hhh.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I SURE WILL UPDATE !!! it’s so exciting to think about grad school sometimes :33

AHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT AND THE PREVIEW TOO SGSDJKDS there’s a few differences in the actual fic i think bc i changed up the language (and i dont remember what else bc i refuse to look at my writing) JAEHYUN RLLY IS A LITTLE SHIT he’ll be like hm yeah im pretty chill :) and then proceed to beat yn at her own game at times. (she wins mostly dw) the fact that i made her soulmate cha eunwoo like girl if i were you i’d crash their relationship 🥱 (jk) but like. jaehyun too is 🤩 despite being dry af

ASDKDSKDS YOU REREAD ALL (ALMOST) 19K WORDS ??? IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THAT FIC SM AAAAHHH IM FEELING LIKE AN ACTUAL AUTHOR 🥰 i loved runway yn too they were like boss attitude with 20% anxiety.

LOOK JENO BETTER BE PULLING MOVES LIKE THAT TO IMPRESS THE GIRLS 😤 if he hits himself in the forehead with the apple, bonus points bc that was true comedy (as invented by taemin)

AND YES. LIKE I KNOW MARK HATED DONGHYUCK SO MUCH HE WANTED TO LEAVE SM BUT LIKE HE’S TOO NICE WITH EVERYONE ELSE 😭😭😭 i cannot picture him pissed off apart from that summer fight </3

thinking about dejun getting rejected by a girl he wrote a song for. rip brother.

IM GLAD YOU PUT THAT INTO WORDS BC THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!!! he’s got all of these regal qualities but he’s still human ykyk so it makes for the most amiable person on earth 😌 i love this characterization of him!!

oof exes to lovers with jaehyun... i had a similar idea a while ago (with theme song sincerity is scary by the 1975) that i discarded bc i don’t think i’m cut out to write that 😭 (YET) so i will keep this is mind. u r so right about jaehyun feeling inaccurate bc it’s like he’s very mild in personality onscreen sometimes?? so him having strong personality traits makes me go 🤔🤔 that man is overreacting. (jkjk but like you get the idea)

WAIT RLLY OMG BC OF ME???? i would never enjoy e2l irl bc irl dudes are 🤢🤢 and if they annoy me i will end them. but in fiction the mutual pining and initial disgust at yourself for liking the other??? helllooo 🤩🤩🤩 especially if it’s in a romcom style <3 bff2l is also better in fiction bc if the relationship doesnt work out irl and the person become uncomfortable with me i will just get annoyed jskshdl

LMAO YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT YANGYANG HE’S JUST THAT™ DUDE skgkhs he feels like someone fun to hang out with but he would annoy you the whole time. also he is cute 🥰

AND EXACTLY!!!! IM HAPPY FOR ROYALTY AUS BUT CMON. LOOK AT THOSE VAMPIRE TEETH. feel like media ruined vampires for people 😔 

THIS IS SUCH A NICE BREAK FROM STUDYING HONESTLY!!!! im like working on two semi-large projects AND studying course and out-of-course material simultaneously so my brain is a little fried. thank u for this 😘

[ronanvespertine]

I think what gets people about Hawks is he’s a planner- and we’re so used to merely reacting heros. There’s always the chance when you strike first that you’ll strike wrong, but the alternative is waiting until it’s too late. And isn’t that one of the huge issues people have with heros? That they were too slow and didn’t save someone who needed it? Hawks is ruthless and it’s terrifying to be on the receiving end if that. But he’s been the hero a lot of people needed

Oh my god, this.....this is a really good interpretation of him. I really like how you think of Hawks! I’ve never really thought of it that way.

I’m gonna ramble about this ask for a while, so I’ll try to put a brief answer above the read more cut. I love how you pointed out what people need/expect from heroes in terms of how they respond. The consequences of a villain attack (property damage, casualties, displacement) are what gives fuel to criticism, and heroes can’t really excuse themselves from those results because those consequences are not to be taken lightly and heroes took on the responsibility of minimizing impact. 

It’s the whole thing about “thoughts and prayers”. Pretty words after a tragedy don’t matter because they change nothing. What really matters is action—preventative measures. And that’s how Hawks approaches hero work. Preventing matters and quick resolutions to minimize impact.

And yes, Hawks’ kind of heroism is what people need in a general sense. Meticulous hard work focused around preventing villain attacks or stopping them as fast as possible. But the intensity with which Hawks goes about it is really scary—you’re right to call it ruthless. And that’s normally a good thing until you call morality into question.

I don’t really want to delve into whether his actions are right or wrong, because.....well, it’s complicated. You can’t slap a label on it. And in the high-stakes world of heroism, morality is a pretty ironic thing to emphasize. Heroes act for the “greater good”, but does that really give them the right to kill? And vice versa—is it okay to risk millions of lives for the sake of adhering to a wishy-washy ideal of no dead?

Let’s go with this: morality is meaningless. Life isn’t dictated by black and white—society is. What life is about is choices and consequences—what you choose to do and what happens because of it. (More on morality under the cut)

I tried to keep it short, but it’s still a pretty lengthy answer. Sorry about that. Anyway, under the read more I’m gonna go ramble because anon just ignited the analytics in my head. Maybe check it out, ‘cause I talk a little more about what I think of Hawks under the cut.

The difference between heroes who react (Endeavor, Miruko, etc.) versus heroes who plan (Hawks, Nighteye, etc.) isn’t something I really thought too much on. But that’s a really good way to look at heroes! In Nighteye’s case, I’d say the guy waits too much and he could possible have past incidents that would fit what you’re talking about—waiting too long until it’s too late. All Might could be interpreted as a mix of both, depending on how you look at it, but his “planning” is more an abstract ideal—establishing a Symbol of Peace that discourages crime rates.

Hawks NEVER waits. And that’s the reason why the PLF raid occurred with the heroes taking the INITIATIVE, a big contrast in comparison with other incidents in the manga. In regards to the Kamino Nightmare, UA took precautions but they fell through and the heroes reacted quickly against the LoV to get Bakugo back once they had sufficient data and forces. But later, we see this decision is touched on a little by the HPSC president when she talks about Hawks not being available for Kamino, and how heroes have been trailing after villains’ actions because no one has been doing enough intelligence gathering in advance. 

Hero society isn’t doing enough to PREVENT villain attacks. And well, that’s a big bone to gnaw on. 

We can talk about the very basics—preventing villains from being born in the first place. But that’s too expansive a task, and heroes/government can’t foresee or prevent everything. Not to mention how complicated implementing those measures will get when you start tangling with law. (If you’re from a massive country with a complicated lawmaking system and polarizing political parties, you’ll know what I mean.) 

Then if we focus on something closer to immediate—say, intelligence gathering—that gets a little murky, too. Censorship, surveillance, regulatory laws—until where do we draw the line? When do we consider those preventative measures “oppression”? People will have different opinions of that, and that’ll result in debate and gridlock. 

There’s also cultural issues—how do you mass edit a society’s perception of certain things? 

We had the issue of “villanous quirks” brought up with Shinsou and Toga. Can you change everyone’s mindsets to regard quirks as a natural gene people can’t help but be born with? In contrast, at what point do you need to start considering the evil that could be done by a quirk on the basis of self-defense? (Think about it. If someone had a quirk that made you forget being under its influence, then how would you know when to change from trusting that person to questioning them for your own protection?) 

We also have the issue of quirklessness with Midoriya and Melissa, though I don’t think it’s that complicated. How do you equalize quirks and no-quirks? In contrast, when do you need to discriminate? (It’s the dilemma of equality. Physical requirements for men and women differ because of natural differences in their makeup. It’s fair, but it’s not equal. A minor thing to point out, but you get the idea, right? If you want to take it up a notch, consider the notion of “equal opportunity”. In America, there’s a whole debate about how to raise disadvantaged groups to equal standing without compromising the ones who are already there. Especially in education. There’s this thing about “quotas” in college admissions—colleges can’t set aside a specific number of spots for disadvantaged groups because it will take away opportunities for the rest, but they can include those questions in their applications for a “holistic” process. However, it’s not a full fix. There’s still a disproportionate ratio of minority groups because it doesn’t take into account the minority background: growing up in unsafe/unequipped communities, lacking academic resources or education to compete with those of advantageous groups, family backgrounds that influence the kid’s education because of extra responsibilities, poverty, uneducated parents, cultural stigma, etc. It’s a huge, complex web of a problem that a small rule like that can’t fully encompass.)

Oh god, I got political. But you get what I mean. There’s too big of a mess that heroes/government won’t be able to address every single one of them. So, what they’ll need to do is figure out what they can do and implement it, or figure out which aspect/measure to focus energy and resources on first.

In regards to morality, I answered a previous ask about Hawks and said this:

Sacrificing another person’s life isn’t okay, period, because you never had the right/power to determine another person’s worth in the first place.

I still stick by that, but there’s something I want to make clear about what I think about Hawks. Hawks is free to choose the “wrong” decision. I’m not condoning or condemning him for it. Hell, I’m not even judging him. The way I read My Hero Academia is by watching the characters make their decisions and trying to understand what led to them. I feel like that’s something everyone should try out: just watching the characters, not judging them, but just trying to understand.

Again, morality means nothing. It’s just choices and consequences.

The thing about choices is, you should understand everything about them. And that’s what I want Hawks to build on. If he’s going to make a decision—especially a “wrong” one—then I want him to fully understand the weight of that choice. I feel like Hawks could be desensitized to the weight of life, and that’s what I’m worried about. Then again, we don’t really know a lot about what Hawks feels aside from his expressions and double-meaning dialogue. I could be wrong—Hawks could have a solid grasp on what taking a life means and feel somber remorse over it. But who knows? (I’ll love him even more than I do now if he does understand. God, I love this asshole of a bird.)

Basically, this is what I want Hawks’ approach to Twice’s death to be: it’s wrong, and he’s okay with it. He’ll willingly carry the weight of his choice so he can achieve his dream of a society without an excessive dependence on heroes.

That’s basically Hawks’ whole character. What is he willing to carry in order to achieve his goals? How far will he corrupt himself to get peace for everyone else? (Honestly, the martyr complex is hard with this guy hahaha!) I just want to make sure he seriously understands what he’s “corrupting” himself with.

Anyway, rambling’s over! Hahahaha, I literally switched from my phone to my iPad to the computer to answer this ask lol. And anon, thanks for dropping by!

[cheshiresense]

And here’s the other thing I wrote on discord. Still a ramble but shorter.

AU where Tsuna listened to his intuition more (even with his Flames sealed, his intuition was powerful enough that it helped him avoid bullies or just gave him a nudge whenever Hibari was headed his way or there was a quicker route to wherever he was going; he's learned to rely on it even if he didn't know what 'it' was before Reborn showed up) and was also a little more proactive post-Kokuyo arc.

I still headcanon that Tsuna and Mukuro formed a Flame/Guardian bond after their battle. So after one too many times of Reborn scolding him for sympathizing with an enemy or flat-out telling him that they'll probably be locked up in Vendicare forever whenever Tsuna asks what's going to happen to Mukuro and co., he decides to try and figure it out on his own. Locked up forever isn't a good enough answer for him.

Shamal is generally an unreliable pervert in Tsuna's opinion, but he's also a professional assassin with years of mafia experience under his belt (Tsuna can't believe his life has reached the point where he can say this stuff with a straight face), so he stammers and nags an answer out of the distracted doctor when Reborn isn't around under the guise of needing to learn more about the mafia, and Shamal, who's a little more helpful when Tsuna isn't asking him for a cure, grudgingly delivers. Tsuna finds out Vendicare procedures - what crimes are too much even in the mafia world, under what circumstances the Vindice would cut in, even their trade policy - and by the time they part ways, Tsuna feels ready to throw up but also knows how to contact the Vindice and even a vague idea of what he's going to have to do to get Mukuro released into his custody.

(Some part of him can't believe he's doing this at all. But the sliver of Flame that's always flickered like a candle at the back of his mind and in the depths of his chest drives him on with more fervour than Tsuna's ever felt for anything, and even just the thought of Mukuro spending the rest of his life in the horrors of Vendicare that Shamal painted for him makes him feel sick to his stomach. He can't just not do anything.)

So basically Tsuna rings up the Vindice and is all like whattup im the future vongola decimo (because his word needs weight) and that's my guardian you have in your custody (because invisible spiritual connections made of soul fire apparently mean a lot in the mafia world), what can i do to get him and his minions back.

And the Vindice are like we'll trade you criminal for criminal, and they pull out their Most Wanted list and be like Do You Have So And So like the world's most illegal game of Go Fish.

And I just want Tsuna to go out there and kill someone for Mukuro. Like, he obviously doesn't have anybody on the Vindice's list, the only people he's fought so far are the ones Reborn forced him to fight. But the Vindice gives him names of criminals hiding in Japan, people even they haven't been able to find, but Tsuna with his Intuition can. He just needs to get his hands dirty.

But he does it. He accepts the deal the Vindice offers him - two of the world's worst criminals in exchange for Mukuro and both Ken and Chikusa. Preferably alive but dead is fine. He won't even have to lug the bodies all the way to Italy. The Vindice needs proof but they'll go to him when he calls.

Tsuna disappears for two weeks. In the end, it's not that hard. Reborn's stopped following him every minute of every day now that he has Gokudera and Yamamoto constantly hovering around him, but it's easy enough to ditch them both when they get into another one of their shouting-laughing arguments at school. He has some money and food, and he has his gloves but they won't do him much good without one of Reborn's bullets so he also pickpocketed a silencer from Reborn's bafflingly large arsenal. That turns out to be pretty easy too because Reborn's been trying to teach him how to assemble and fire various weapons for weeks.

(Half his friends flip the fuck out when they finally realize he's missing. Hibari is mostly just irritated because one of Namimori's students is skipping school. Reborn retraces Tsuna's steps with all the ruthless determination of a hurricane and within three days tracks down Shamal and gets him to spill everything he unknowingly told Tsuna about the Vindice. The only problem left is they don't know who Tsuna is hunting down for the Vindice, and not even Reborn is quite ready to dial them up to demand answers. Reborn would be impressed with Tsuna's new display of a spine if he wasn't doing it for Rokudo Mukuro what even is his obsession with that Mist honestly, did Mukuro do something to him in their fight??)

Fast-forward a couple weeks and Tsuna's done it. Sure, he almost got killed once or twice, but the truth is his targets have been keeping their heads down for years, and they've grown complacent, confident in their ability to evade the Vindice and go about their lives without constantly looking over their shoulders.

They still dabble though, from time to time. The Vindice were helpful enough to give Tsuna everything they had on them. The first has a partiality for baby-faced teenagers. Tsuna is exactly his type, and it's not hard to walk past the guy's shop a few times before luring him down a dark alley one afternoon. He doesn't even realize he's been shot until Tsuna's put a hole in his head ("Headshots are your safest bet for a fast kill, Dame-Tsuna, are you paying attention?"). Tsuna also spends the next two minutes heaving up the contents of his stomach. He's not that bothered by the blood, if he's honest; he's seen his own blood often enough that he's more or less desensitized to it. But he's just killed someone, and he's never done that before, and for a moment he regrets - fiercely - what he's set out to do, for a boy who might as well be a stranger and probably won't ever thank him for this.

(But Mukuro isn't a stranger, is he? Somehow, even though he hangs out with Gokudera and Yamamoto practically every day, even though he lives with Lambo and I-Pin and Bianchi and Reborn, even though he interacts with Hibari and Ryouhei, Tsuna still feels like it's Mukuro he understands best. His motives, his goals, his reason for living and fighting and killing, his hatred and his anger and his fears - somehow, when it comes to Mukuro, he knows it all.)

So he keeps at it. The regret fades, his resolve surges, and he's pale but steady when he calls the Vindice for them to pick up the body. And then it's on to the next target.

The second criminal - a black widow responsible for slaughtering three whole Famiglia down to the last child after marrying into them - gives him more trouble, mostly because Tsuna misses his first shot and alerts her to Tsuna's presence. They end up cat-and-mousing halfway across the country, clashing in a warehouse and resulting in Tsuna finally lighting his Flames all on his own out of sheer desperation after the woman shatters two of his ribs and has her hands around his throat and a wild gleam in her eyes before Tsuna bursts into Sky Flames that consume her before she can scramble away.

She screams and screams as Tsuna's Flames devour her, hot and hungry and relentless, and Tsuna doesn't think he's ever going to get the smell of overcooked meat out of his nose again.

By the time he figures out how to put it out, the woman is very dead, but at least she's also still recognizable. Tsuna doesn't throw up this time, mostly just numb and cold and fucking exhausted. Everything hurts, he's bleeding from a head wound, and he's pretty sure he won't be able to talk without sounding like he's been gargling gravel.

Still, he might as well finish this, so he calls the Vindice, and he gets the distinct impression that they're actually impressed with him, which is just fucked up, nobody should be impressed by murder, especially when Tsuna is committing it. It's not like he even did it well. Reborn would probably sneer at the shoddy execution. Tsuna's a mess and about to keel over, and he really just wants to go home and sleep for a week or possibly forever.

He does end up falling unconscious, so he misses the Vindice cleaning up the evidence of a murder before leaving through their portal, only to come back with a truly confuzzled Mukuro and minions. They give him the bare bones of it - they're free but under Tsuna's custody because Tsuna was the one who traded for them; if they break one of their laws again, even the future Vongola Decimo won't be able to save them. And then they leave.

Mukuro is left with a baffled Ken and Chikusa and an unconscious bleeding mess of a boy who was his enemy and now his saviour, and...

He should just go. He's free, and Tsuna's in no state to even try and stop him, let alone succeed. He should take Ken and Chikusa and book it out the door while he still has the chance. Who knows, Tsuna might even bleed out without medical attention soon, and that won't even be on Mukuro.

But something in him rebels at the very idea of taking even one step away from this stupid boy. He hates to admit it but fighting Tsuna - and perhaps even the way he lost to him and all that glorious burning resolve - gave him more than a decent idea of the kind of person Tsuna is. And he hates it because he wants to think Vongola Decimo and associate it with evil, with the trash of society, with Estraneo, except he can't, because this is Sawada Tsunayoshi, who fought for his friends even though half of them didn't give a damn about him when he was growing up alone, who even then - beaten and bruised - protested when the Vindice came to take Mukuro away, who freed him and very obviously doesn't expect anything in return, and apparently Mukuro isn't completely heartless after all.

AND TL;DR MUKURO MISTS HIS WAY INTO AN UPSCALE HOTEL AND PATCHES TSUNA UP, AND WHEN TSUNA WAKES UP, HE HIIIEEES AND MUKURO SMIRKS AND THEY DANCE AROUND THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM WITH VAGUE THREATS AND HAND-WRINGING AND SOME BACK AND FORTH SNARK BECAUSE APPARENTLY WHEN TSUNA ISNT SCARED OF HIM, HE HAS A VERY DONE-WITH-EVERYTHING MINDSET THAT MATCHES WELL WITH MUKURO'S DARKER HUMOUR.

AND THEN TSUNA GOES BACK TO NAMIMORI WITH THREE CRIMINALS IN TOW, AND THEY PROBABLY PICK UP CHROME ALONG THE WAY BECAUSE TSUNA IS A BLEEDING HEART AND MUKURO RECOGNIZES HIS LONG-LOST SEVERAL TIMES REMOVED TWIN OR SOMETHING, SO THEY TOTALLY STEAL HER FROM THE HOSPITAL THEY FIND HER IN THROUGH A COMBINATION OF TSUNA'S INTUITION AND MUKURO'S UNEXPLAINABLE CHROME-SENSE.

REBORN TOTALLY FLIPS HIS SHIT WHEN HE REALIZES TSUNA HAS EXACTLY TWO GUARDIAN FLAME BONDS NOW, AND NOT ONLY ARE BOTH OF THEM MISTS BUT ONE OF THEM IS ROKUDO FUCKING MUKURO AND EVEN HE KNOWS BETTER THAN TO ATTEMPT TO SEPARATE A GUARDIAN FROM THEIR SKY, BUT THAT ALSO MEANS REBORN'S GOING TO HAVE TO PUT WORK INTO ACTUALLY HELPING TSUNA FORGE REAL GUARDIAN BONDS INSTEAD OF JUST THROWING FLAME POTENTIALS AT HIM THE WAY THE VONGOLA HAS DONE FOR GENERATIONS. TSUNA KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE NOW AND HE'S NEVER GOING TO ACCEPT ANYTHING LESS.

AND BASICALLY WHEN THE VARIA/IEMITSU/VONGOLA COME CALLING, TSUNA HAS ONE VERY POSSESSIVE MIST AND ANOTHER VERY DEVOTED MIST, AND THEY ABSOLUTELY DON'T TAKE ANY SHIT FROM THE MAFIA.

[beatrice-blaze]

Black Coffee, Two Drops of Silver || Bea & Kaden

Coffee Plus was a place Bea often escaped to when it was raining. She'd have preferred to spend the day wandering the woods, but with the weather, it wasn't the safest plan. Being at home made her feel too much cabin fever to spend the entirety of her day off there and so she had decided to camp out at the coffeeshop. She was reading a thick book that her father had recommended, "The Wolf's Hour". She didn't typical lean towards horror books, but she would read anything her parents suggested for her. She was only about a quarter of the way through the book, but she was two coffees in and was a bit jittery at this point. Putting her bookmark in, she strongly considered getting another coffee as she stared intently at register from her seat.

Kaden wiped his hand on his jeans before pulling open the door to Coffee Plus. It was almost not worth bothering, he was sure he looked a mess but that wasn't going to stop him from going straight to the only halfway decent cafe in town, especially after all that. The rain had washed away most of the blood and dirt from his run in with a camazotz earlier but his victory had been hard earned. Kaden probably should have gone straight home and hit the shower but he'd earned this coffee. The place wasn't very full, which made sense. It was the middle of a rainy day, he supposed a lot of people were at home. But there was one face he recognized. Bea seemed to be reading a rather large book and sitting all by herself and he had said he'd say hello if he saw her here. Might as well, right? "Interesting book you're reading," he said as he approached her with a smile on his face, his coat and most of the rest of him dripping wet from the rain. "The Wolf's Hour." What an interesting title. Seems like he made the right call after all. "Any good?"

Bea's eyes snapped away from the register up to Kaden and she smiled as she met his eye. She hoped that she didn't look completely deranged when she was staring into space. She was surprised to see him there, but then again, she had recommended the shop and he had said he would say hi. She was almost disappointed that she didn't have some poisonous plant on her to show him. Keep her brand of being the lady casually carrying poisons and all that. Him being soaking wet was definitely not how she was expecting to see him though, but it had been raining pretty hard. "Did you get stuck outside without an umbrella?" She asked, slight worry in her voice. He could get a nasty cold like that. She was tempted to check her bag to see if she had an extra umbrella for him. She tapped the book's cover,"So far, I like it. My dad recommended it. I'm not usually one to read horror, but I like the premise. Are you here to try out the coffee?"

Kaden pushed his hair out of his face, trying to keep the wet mop from falling into his eyes. Any attempts at styling it from earlier that morning had been washed away awhile ago. "You could say that. Not sure an umbrella would have helped.I was out taking care of an assignment. Call about an oversized bat." Oversized was mildly putting it. Camazotz were fucking huge and this one had been no exception. He leaned with his forearms against the chair across from her. He couldn't help but smirk. Of all the books she could be reading. And her dad recommended it? Too many possibilities were swirling in his head to put all the pieces together. He'd have to see where the chips fell. "And here I'd think you'd get enough horror living in this town." He'd have to come up with some way to test his theories on the fly. It was either she was a werewolf or she was covering for one. Maybe even the one he saw last night. "Yeah, I'm here for coffee after a hard day's work. Needed something to keep me going after all that. Mind if I join you?"

"Bad day to get sent out on an assignment like that," Bea said sympathetically. "Somehow, I have a feeling that an 'oversized' bat isn't the weirdest thing you've seen in White Crest, though." She was sure that with his job, he'd seen a hell of a lot more of the crazy things White Crest had to offer. If anyone would, it would be animal control or the cops. She supposed Regan saw a lot of weird things too. His smirk kind of caught her off guard, she wasn't sure why he was smirking, but she couldn't say she didn't like the expression on him. She shrugged, "I guess I'm desensitized to the brand of horror that White Crest produces." Her smile brightened, glad that she had someone to sit with now. "Of course, sit down! I love company. I was about to get another coffee, do you want me to grab you something? You look like you need something extra hot."

"It doesn't bother me too much. I'd rather be outdoors than in an office, whatever the weather," Kaden said with a shrug. "You're right. There was this one time I saw some lady in the woods picking a whole lot of poisonous plants. It was so weird. Never seen anything like it" He threw her a smile, hoping she'd take the joke. Not that he was all that worried, so far she'd been sharp, honestly quicker on the draw than he was the other day. Funny, smart, pretty; it was a damn shame she was more than likely a werewolf. "Thanks. I've got it, though. I'm already standing. And I don't know if I should drink whatever you bring me," he said, adding a wink at the end. "What do you want?" He hoped she'd say cream, sugar, anything in her coffee at all. It would make slipping the bit of colloidal silver in her coffee a lot easier.

Bea nodded,”I understand that. I know I couldn’t work a normal job in an office. I just don’t like the rain that much.” Her eyes crinkled at corners as she let out a laugh, she hadn’t expected him to turn that around on her. “At least she left an impression. Now you’ll never forget her.” She liked talking to Kaden, he was funny and he was definitely a lot more comfortable this time around. She pressed her lips together in an attempt to stop from smiling at her own expense. It didn’t work well as she could feel her smile anyway. “I promise today I have nothing poisonous on me, but if you insist.” She paused, knowing that she really should not have her third latte. She was pretty sure that lattes had more caffeine than coffee... “I’ll just take a coffee with a splash of milk.”

"Coming right up," Kaden told her before heading off to the counter to order two coffees. He drank his black so keeping them separate would be easy enough. While waiting for the mugs, he rummaged through his coat pockets ahead of time, hoping it didn't look too suspicious. He was pretty sure most people didn't care a dropper with collodial silver on them at nearly all times, but then again, most people in town thought the vampires were funny looking cosplayers. Once he had the coffee, he took both to the little customization station on the side. Slipping two drops into hers was easy enough. He pretended to put a sugar in his even though the thought of that disgusted him, too sweet. "Here you go, coffee splash of milk," he said as he took a seat and handed her the mug. Now he just had to see if she reacted to the silver at all. It wasn't much, just a drop, if she wasn't a monster, she'd hardly notice it. Sure, there might be a taste, he didn't know, he didn't make a habit of drinking silver, but all the same. "So, you've been here longer than most, what's the worst you've seen here? You know, if oversized bats sound tame to you."

As Kaden went to get the coffee Bea tidied her space up. She put her book back into her bag and made sure she had no texts to respond to before putting her phone face down. She liked having coffee with people, it was one of the best way to get to know someone. She took the mug. “Thank you,” She smiles at him before taking a sip. She was not prepared at all for the flavor that was about to hit her. That was not that how the coffee here normally tasted. She swallowed and cleared her throat, trying hard not be rude, but that wasn’t good coffee at all. She cleared her throat again before blinking and forcing a pleasant look back on her face. Maybe the milk was bad. “I’ve seen so much at this point I think half the stuff happening is normal. The blood puddles and writing was a bit weird. I’ve had an ... animal get into my house and completely destroy my kitchen and living room. Broke windows and everything. A few of my friends from high school went missing just to come back years later like nothing happened. That’s obviously just a few.”

Kaden watched her intently as she sipped her coffee. He tried to seem casual enough, taking a drink from his as well, hoping it would hide the small smile on his face while waiting to see what would happen. "Are you alright?" he asked as she clearly had some trouble getting the coffee down. "Too much milk, not enough?" Allergic reaction? Are you a werewolf? "I almost forgot about the blood puddles. Amazing how quickly the weird shit becomes mundane. But I have to say, I'm a little surprised the department didn't get a call about that animal running through your house. I'm not sure whether to be offended or impressed." He was trying to keep his eyes off her mug, waiting to see when or if she'd take another sip, see if the reaction was different or worse. "Missing friends? Did they just run away and finally make it back or..."

Bea debating lying and telling him it was fine. She didn’t want make a big deal of nothing, however, she had obviously had a reaction to it and pretending she didn’t seemed a little too late. “I think the milk might be bad. Must be a sign from above that having a third cup isn’t a good idea,” She joked as she put the mug down. She felt bad in a way that she wasn’t going to drink the coffee, but she couldn’t force herself to be that polite. “I can’t imagine living in a normal town after White Crest. It would be so boring.” Oh, crap, she forgot he was animal control. “I took care of it. My sisters and I are figure it out on your own type of people.” That wasn’t even a lie, they did do things on their own because it usually ended up being easier for everyone involved. “Well, the most recent one hasn’t told me what happened, but he was missing for thirteen years and then just showed back up in town.”

The list of suspicious behavior from her was adding up. Kaden couldn't be completely sure, not yet. He needed something more definitive but question was what to try next? "Ah, I'm sorry. Hopefully this doesn't mean I'm bad luck." It most likely did. Hunter meeting a werewolf was only every lucky for one party and he planned to make it his. "Good to hear. But you know, next time if that happens, you can always call for help. I can't say much for the rest of the of the department but I like to think I'm pretty decent at what I do." His brows furrowed as she described the missing friends. Had to say, he was interested in finding out if she was a werwolf but he wanted to know more about this weird shit first. "The most recent one? I know you said friends but I don't know, I thought this happened all at once. There's multiple? That's a long time to be away."

Bea shook her head,”I doubt you’re bad luck. After all that day if you were bad luck I would have accidentally poisoned myself when we first met or something like that.” She liked Kaden’s company. He was witty and he didn’t mind when she teased him. Though the first time they had met he had acted weird, he was much more relaxed now and it just made her more comfortable with him too. She chuckled,”I’m sure you’re good at what you do, but really it’s alright. We live pretty far into the forest anyway, so we’re used to figuring stuff out on our own.” Growing up in White Crest gave Bea the opportunity to see the occasional missing poster for her friends and acquaintances, some had run away others had no answer yet. “There’s multiple. Cindy was a runaway. But Dario... He... His whole family died, but his body was never found. Yeah, it is. He’s not quite the same, but I think that can be expected from anyone after thirteen years, let alone whatever he went through.”

Kaden's face scrunched up as listened to her. It was hard to wrap his head around all this. He knew this town was weird and full of monsters and he fully expected people to go "missing" here. He never expected to hear about people coming back. It was enough to make him forget what his goal was with Bea. "Really, whole family died and he shows back up thirteen years later? I knew this place was strange but that's..." He shook his head as he trailed off. "Now you've gone and made me curious. Did he really just show up again out of nowhere like nothing happened? How'd you know him, anyway?" He leaned against the edge of the table, waiting to hear what she'd say next. He couldn't be sure how or if this could fit into the puzzle he was trying to piece together on her connection with wolves, but he had a sneaking suspicion whatever happened with this Dario guy was no run of the mill missing persons case. Maybe he was the wolf, killed his family and ran off. Maybe part of a pack, her pack maybe? There were plenty of possibilities.

"I think it was a house fire and maybe he wasn't there when it happened, but I'm pretty sure all his family is gone now. He didn't tell me much and I didn't think it was right to pry," Bea said softly. She felt bad for Dario. He had lost so much and came back to a town that didn't have much to offer him. "Just responded to something I posted online randomly, though I'm not sure he knew who I was at the time." Now her face flushed slightly as she had to admit how she knew him. "He was my high school crush. Took me out on a date and everything a week before he went missing." It felt odd calling Dario her friend, but in a way, he was, now more so than they had been in high school. At the end of the day, when he went missing she cared a great deal for him. "I didn't expect to finally have him message me back after the date thirteen years later, but here we are."

Kaden was rapt as she explained the whole story, both fascinated and a little concerned this was a possibility in White Crest. Just when he thought nothing could surprise him with the supernatural. "Sounds like you had a busy week, then. Glad he's back, though. Your friend." He took another sip of his coffee. "Still got a crush? Long lost love rekindled?" he asked, giving his eyebrows a waggle. Maybe he could lighten the mood a little. It didn't need to be dreary inside as well as out. Kaden noticed her coffee was still untouched. He didn't see any hives or rash on her, but that didn't mean anything. "You sure you don't want me to get you another coffee? A better one?" Surprisingly, he did genuinely feel bad that he was there, subpar coffee in hand, and she had nothing. God, he almost wanted to shake it off. He should really stop that, caring. This was meant to be recon, nothing more.

Bea liked the fact that Kaden listened to her so intently. He didn't seem to be one of those people who got distracted when other people spoke and it was oddly nice that she had someone to talk to about this, especially someone who wanted to listen. She could have told her sister how strange it was that Dario was back, but the younger woman was far more concerned with whether or not she was going to see him again. She let out a laugh, answering in a light tone, "Maybe a few years ago I would have said yes, but I'm not sure relationships are meant for me." Of course, she wanted one, she loved romance and the idea of having a family, but she had spent years with her ex and he had walked out of her life so easily. She wasn't sure she ever really got over that. "I think if I have a third coffee, I might bounce off the walls, but if you don't mind dealing with that, I'd take another." She knew she should cut down her caffeine intake, but there was very little chance she actually would.

Kaden definitely understood the sentiment. "I can't blame you. Not really sure they're meant for me either." Attachments weren't really a luxury a hunter could take often. It was hard to put trust in anyone who wasn't a hunter. It was too easy to be disappointed when you discovered a monster. He had to remind himself that's what he might be talking to now. "Doesn't bother me," he said with a shrug. He stood up and picked up her mug to take it back to the counter. "I'll take my chances." He talked to the barista behind the counter, told them how the 'milk' must have been bad. Seemed like his accent and charm had done the trick for once and they brought him a replacement. For a moment, he considered putting another drop of silver in this cup as well. Try again, see what happened. Something kept him from doing it, though. He couldn't be sure what. It was like a twinge in the back of his mind that just told him to just bring the coffee back, be normal for once. He told him self it was because he didn't want to risk getting caught a second time. It wasn't that, though. "Take two for you. Hope it's better this time. Sounds like you deserve the break."

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 124: Lion 4: Alternate Ending

“Please tell me my destiny.”

We’ve had Ronaldo as a toxic gatekeeping fan intent on harassing the creator. We’ve had Lars as a disappointed fan whom the creator is desperate to impress. We’ve even had Navy as a false fan who’s only interested in robbing the creator’s spaceship (arguably a rarer breed than the first two). So now it’s time for the obsessive clue-hunter, who parses through the creation so deeply that the original meaning gets lost in the shuffle. And this time, our fan stand-in is Steven.

Lion 4: Alternate Ending is an episode about Steven trying to ruin Lion 3: Straight to Video. All the magic from that first glimpse of Rose Quartz threatens to be extinguished through overanalysis, to the point where his discovery of a new tape is met with dread instead of excitement. For all the Steven Universe fans that get frustrated by Steven not being as invested in the lore as they’d like, well, this is what happens when Steven gets as invested in the lore as you’d like. 

To be clear, I don’t think Steven succeeds in ruining Lion 3, especially because the conclusion of Lion 4 manages to enhance its predecessor. I also don’t think it’s a bad thing that he tries: it fits his post-Storm in the Room state to tear through whatever evidence he's got to figure out why he was born, and it’s properly painful to see him so desensitized to the wonder of Rose’s tape that he’s reduced it to a possible decoded message. What better way to express how Steven feels than tainting a pivotal moment with his mother?

I’m super into stories where a mystery to the characters isn’t a mystery to the viewer: the core example is Cowboy Bebop episode Speak Like a Child, where our 2070s crew is trying to solve the case of a strange antique object that a 1990s audience already knows is a videotape (although a fifth of the way through the twenty-first century, we’re already getting removed from an era where modern audiences would know what a Betamax is, even as a cultural relic). Because the writers don’t have to try to fool us, we can focus more on how the characters tackle a problem instead of trying to beat them to the punch with our own deduction skills. I wouldn’t call Lion 4 the most concrete example of this sort of story, as it’s not impossible that Rose was leaving encrypted messages behind, but to me at least the “twist” that Rose’s tape wasn’t part of some dubious master plan is obvious enough that I can just enjoy the ride.

“Enjoy” is perhaps the wrong word, because while this is an excellent episode, it’s not a fun one. There are comedic moments, because this is still Steven Universe, but watching a kid at the end of his rope struggling to understand his place in the world is bound to be harrowing stuff. Steven’s determination is compounded by his solitude: the Crystal Gems are pointedly absent, as the last time he asked them for answers his dad got abducted to a space zoo and it’s easy to confuse correlation with causation. So it’s just Steven and Lion for most of the episode, and it’s telling that Lion answers Steven’s final cry for help by bringing him to see his dad. Some things can only be fixed by talking, and for all his strengths, Lion isn’t a great conversationalist.

Before we get to Greg, this Steven/Lion solo outing uses constant activity to sidestep the dullness factor that bogged down Steven’s Lion. After a strong first impression of Steven’s mental state as he scours Rose’s tape for clues, going so far as to try to find meanings in anagrams, Lion revs up the plot by retching up a giant key. I love that Steven’s first thought is the same as mine, and likely yours: the chest in Lion’s mane that we first saw in Lion 3, which unlike Bismuth remained a mystery (and it still is, because we never saw what Steven found in there between Change Your Mind and the movie). Even though the key is comically oversized, Steven ignores the obvious and keeps trying to make it fit. So right off the bat, we get two little stories about Steven looking for answers where there clearly aren’t any and doubling down despite the futility out of sheer desperation for the truth.

From here we get a montage of past locations a la Marble Madness and Warp Tour, accompanied by a gorgeous medley of location themes from Aivi and Surasshu; I will never not complain that we don’t get to have an album of their scoring, because this episode’s soundtrack is one of their best. Visiting the Armory harks back to Lion 2 as the tape did for Lion 3, and we also get a glimpse of Rose’s Fountain and Rose’s Room to continue our references to the many known areas tied to Steven’s mom. When nothing works, Steven pleads with Lion for more information, aware by now that the cat has some answers.

While I’m not huge on Steven’s Lion as an episode due to the aforementioned dull pace, it’s awesome to see our heroes return to where Lion was first found. Buddy’s Book already did a great job of reminding us of Lion’s desert home, but now it’s time to finally investigate the area further. 

Jesse Zuke and Raven Molisee paired up for our last episode, leaving their usual respective partners Hilary Florido and Paul Villeco at bat for Lion 4. The ragtag team has so far given us rich visuals, with a particularly expressive Steven and Lion (crucial for the non-talking member of the duo) and a callback to the lovely settings of the past, but every aesthetic choice they make is topped by the desert run. It’s a beautiful shot, evoking the iconic ocean run of Lion 2, but Steven’s exhaustion (aided by Zach Callison’s beleaguered performance as he narrates his thoughts) tinges the scene with melancholy where there was once only magic. Steven’s desperation is no longer the frenzied need from when Greg was kidnapped, or even from the beginning of this very episode, but has been worn down to a weary determination that just breaks your heart. This is Charlie Brown after a yanked football too many; he hasn’t been thrown a single bone in his search for answers, and this might be his last chance.

I try not to include too many images in these reviews, because they can mess with the flow of the text, but screw it this shot is also amazing:

The pyramid-like structures leading to the locked door are the first we see of a new hidden getaway, and retrospect makes Steven’s plight even worse: as we learn in Legs From Here to Homeworld, all he had to do was touch one of them to get a major hint about Rose’s true identity. 

It wouldn’t have solved everything, as Garnet would likely assume they were spoils of war, Amethyst wouldn’t recognize them, and Pearl would keep her mouth shut. And it would’ve ruined the pacing of the mystery for such a strange hint to be presented, so from a storytelling perspective it makes total sense to keep this in the backburner. And it’s not like it’s that weird that Steven doesn’t feel compelled to touch what seems to be a couple of statues when he’s spent the whole episode looking for a lock and it’s right in front of him and he just survived hours of desert travel. But knowing what we know now adds to the drama of how close our hero is to the truth he deserves.

In yet another bummer, Rose’s hidden landfill is worn down to the point where most of the walls had collapsed, meaning Steven didn’t even need the key. Which isn’t to say the key wasn’t important, as it prompts his trip in the first place, but it’s just one more way that the universe seems to be throwing unnecessary hurdles at him. In the same vein, Lion not only could’ve warped him to the destination as he mentions, but he could’ve done so without hacking up the key in the first place. But we’re long past the point where we should expect straight answers from Lion, so I forgive the big lug.

The first thing that came to my mind when Steven saw the dump wasn’t Amethyst’s room, although there are obvious similarities. It was Greg’s storage locker, the place where we first talked about Rose all the way back in Laser Light Cannon, the place where Greg expressed confusion about why a magic woman fell for a regular guy like him. And as frustrated as Steven is, this room is a wonderful unspoken answer to that distant question: among Rose’s many imperfections was that, like Greg, she was kind of a slob. It’s so nice to have a mundane flaw after nearly a full season of focusing on her as a liar and murderer, especially a flaw that reminds us of why she and Greg were so great for each other.

But yeah, Steven isn’t interested in subtext, and his tantrum is both realistic and reasonable. He finds the tape for Nora by accident, right after kicking some garbage in anger, and this is where that Speak Like a Child oomph comes in. It’s crystal clear that the tape was a backup in case Steven was a girl, but he’s so primed for lies and complications that the obvious answer eludes him and he suspects the worst. I honestly can’t blame him. If you learned out of nowhere that your mom killed someone, who’s to say you don’t have secret siblings?

The contrast between harsh desert and soothing sunset is another treat for the eyes, readying is for a cooldown after two distressing acts. Greg’s excitement over seeing the old tape blinds him to Steven’s angst in a way that adds honest tension to the exchange, because he’s trying to give Steven a fun treat but has no idea how much anguish his son has been through to get to this point. To Greg, telling Steven the answers outright would be ruining the moment, but the wait is already killing the kid. In an episode without an external villain it’s such a clever way to present a final “confrontation” to overcome.

When we finally see the tape, it becomes even more apparent that it was a backup for a hypothetical daughter. Still, I love how the strange new version of a video we know and love is only half-seen, as we focus so much on Steven’s reaction at the expense of footage. Where he was once gazing at the marvels of a new glimpse of his mother, his eyes are now furrowed in frustrated concentration. As in Lion 3, he has a viewing partner, and Greg’s welling tears mirror those of Steven and Sadie from the first tape, highlighting that the Steven of the present isn’t feeling an ounce of tenderness.

Tears do come for Steven, but in the form of anxious release. When he’s told that he’s Nora, meaning he’s the person the tape was intended for, Steven still doesn’t get it and exclaims that he’s his mom and his sister; it’s sort of a joke, but boy is it rough to hear him slip that in some way he does see himself as his mom rather than his own person. So thank goodness he’s saying this stuff to Greg, who’s calm at first but leaps to the occasion when Steven frantically asks why he exists.

As is standard by now, Greg's got fatherhood down cold. He adjusts his tone to show he’s taking Steven seriously, but rather than jump in he sits his son down and lets him talk. He addresses Steven’s concerns gently but firmly, leaving no room for doubt that he’s loved and appreciated no matter what. He brings himself into the conversation by saying he changed his name, doing so not to turn the topic to himself but to reassure Steven that it’s okay to not be stuck on one identity. And just look at how perfectly our three main characters exist in the shot during this last talk:

Steven gets those happy post-tape tears after viewing the last part of the video, and our happy ending is earned, but it’s not a full victory. Rose still had issues, but at least Steven has gained some confidence back that she wasn’t all bad. He’ll go back and forth on how much guilt he feels for her actions, but at the very least he knows now that his decisions to try and atone for her mistakes are his to make, and not a mandate from a dead parent looking for an escape route.

Whiiiiiiich means that now he’s able to try and feign a sense of control over helpless situations by assigning blame to himself in new, exciting ways. Hey, it’s not like the show could’ve solved all his problems less than halfway through Act III of the series. Lion 4 thus doesn’t have the conclusive oomph of Lion 3, which closed a trilogy of Lion Episodes as well as the stage of the show where Rose was a well-realized but distant idea more than a full character. For all its strengths, Lion 4 feels much more like Just Another Episode. But that’s okay. It doesn’t owe the past a thing.

Future Vision!

Again, those pyramids return in a major way, because they’re not pyramids.

Greg talks about Garnet’s inability to predict things about Steven, which is an element of their relationship throughout the show but gets major focus soon in Pool Hopping.

Escapism blends the two big Lion Runs by setting it back on the ocean, but making the passenger an exhausted Steven facing one last ordeal before relief in the form of his dad with a guitar.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

It doesn’t make the top twenty, it does make the top twenty-five. Just like Bismuth right before our hundredth episode, this doesn’t mean much now, but it will next time, because I’m expanding again to a Top Twenty-Five when we hit the big One Two Five with Doug Out. 

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Steven’s Dream

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

When It Rains

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

That Will Be All

The New Crystal Gems

Storm in the Room

Room for Ruby

Lion 4: Alternate Ending

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Rocknaldo

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

Tiger Philanthropist

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

(Kind of unbelievable to me that a Lion Sequel doesn’t have official promo art, but luckily we have discount-supervillain’s measured take on what Nora Universe would realistically look like.)

[funeralbelle]

gillian jacobs, joel mchale, and any other community cast of interest + 👥

SEND ME AN FC + 👥 TO SEE A CHARACTER I’D etc etc

gillian jacobs

I rly love the idea of her in a Pagliacci role!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like her vibes during her depressive episodes in Love really radiate that suicidal clown energy and I would def play her as a small time comedian who tells herself that she’s constantly chasing near-death situations in search for material and not in search for oblivion.

also she’s been in so many raunchy movies that i feel like she could definitely play a nymphomaniac. and this is maybe an unrelated tangent but,,,  you see a lot of promiscuous female characters in the rpc, but i’ve never seen one who’s actually interested in sex..? usually the trend is female characters who feel unloved and use sex as a fill-in or gateway to a sense of intimacy. and this isn’t any shade at, like, nina’s character zelda or yam’s character nikki (especially because i use the same trope with my character genie), but when you combine all of the muses with this characterization together, i feel like we as a community accidentally enforce the idea that women don’t get titillated and just use romance as a bargaining chip for love?? 🤪 

idk maybe it’s just my experience but i always see the love-starved harlot more than any legit horny girls so lets get more of those and lets use gillian jacobs for the roles because thinking about it now i’m pretty sure that even her character on Love has that same characterization. damn

joel mchale

I’m determined!!!!!! to use him for something!!!!! 

my first priority is gwen’s rp americana; originally i thought he would be good for The Professor bt i haven’t had any rly novel ideas to bring to the table for that skeleton yet and i wanna avoid using him in the same career as his Community character. plus i think i’d want to play him in a skeleton that compliments him being like 6′5″ and jacked. hes also rly.. aryan looking… so he could make a perfect Detective if i can get over my hang-ups and play a cop in remotely good faith. but failing that i might end up applying for The Suspect w/ him.

on the flipside, I feel like he’d be rly good for a p.i. character that’s been floating around my head for a long time but whom I haven’t rly had the chance to develop bc I’ve pretty much just been in college rps for the last half a decade. woulda considered this muse for MW if i wasn’t already planning to bring in tom/sal.

that character is a Hunter S Thompson type— tragically optimistic and repeatedly outraged every time mankind disappoints him; constantly trying to believe in the best of people in an industry where he’s dealing with the most depraved individuals. tried to unionize his private investigation firm (love the futility of trying to organize behind the back of the boss of a band of snoops) and wound up getting underhandedly fired so he had to go independent. hardened more in demeanor than heart; numbs the hell of being repeatedly let down with a rock & roll lifestyle that he should’ve outgrown in his thirties. still clinging onto a Gen X obsession with authenticity that obnoxiously makes him roll his eyes at any cashier who smiles and tells him to have a great day. comes across as crass and tactless, desensitized to vulgarity and clumsy when it comes to tenderness despite perpetually yearning for it. compulsively anti-authority to the point of impairing his judgment at times; easily manipulated by anyone who portrays themselves as an underdog. probably comes from a family without a nurturing female presence; could definitely picture him with a businessman younger sibling whom he resents because they’ve “sold out” (read: they’re flourishing financially) while he’s 48 years old and has no sheets on his bed because it’s been a week and he still hasn’t taken them out of the dryer and he keeps passing out on the couch anyway so he’s not really thinking about it.

The biggest struggle in using McHale for this character is that he’s a little too fratty and it’s hard to picture him as this chainsmoking gonzo. but i try to play fcs against type and i feel like he always gets cast as characters who are wealthy/charming/two-faced/detached/nihilistic, and this is definitely as far away from that as i can get. maybe ill do a deep dive into his filmography and find something where he wasnt playing a white collar hunk or douchebag. idk…,,we’ll see. maybe ill use a completely different fc for that character and use mchale for one of the americana skeletons instead?? idk i havent gotten that far yet but i cant stop making gifs of him i’m having so much fun i want to use him so bad idk

one last option is like… ever since those reddit stories got popular, ive always wanted to play a search-and-rescue officer for a national park? and i feel like he almost has forest ranger vibes in the later seasons of community when he has the beard. i dont know where i would play this character but to be fair i have literally no clue where i would play a private investigator either so it’s. yeah

donald glover

i played him back when i used to write in rly wild and campy/comedic supernatural/genre plots!! the original conceit of that character was a law school dropout who swindled an eldritch demon out of his almighty powers, but had such low motivation in life and such a one-track mind that he never thought to use it for any kind of world domination, and instead tried to use it to win back and impress her by giving himself a promotion to manager of the bowling alley he worked at, or make her life without him seem subconsciously bleaker by doing innocuous bullshit like making her breakfast cereal have less marshmallows in it than usual. i don’t know if i would revisit him, but if i did it might be fun to have him have a jackass genie type of relationship with another character in a 1x1, or drop the supernatural aspect entirely and reimagine him as a burnout who suddenly inherited a huge amount of money, only for it to gradually be revealed that it came from some shady means, or something. i don’t know. fucking love his tag on my blog though

alison brie

I think one of the reasons I resent Annie Edison so much is because you can tell Dan Harmon was too obsessed with her to let her be the butt of any jokes or make her look bad in any way, and so even though Alison Brie is an extremely charming and funny actress, she never got to portray any really human or interesting flaws, because all of Annie’s negative traits were just the kind of corny weaknesses you list in a job interview (she’s just too driven!!! a perfectionist to a fault!!~~) and I think that by season 3 she became the thing every viewer was worried Britta would be in the pilot (boring moral compass of a carrot dangling in front of the male protagonist to motivate his character growth). And it just feels like a waste of an actress who could easily find humor in an uglier character and make them sympathetic. So I genuinely want to do something like that with her, like make her a former activist who completely sold out her morals for a gig as a commentator on a corporate news outlet or working on softening PR for some Raytheon or Lockheed Martin type of company. I also love villains with her mousy-petite-big-blue-eyed disney-faced look who are more perniciously manipulative and unsuspecting, so I’d love to do that. 

on an unrelated note: she looks sm like natalia dyer and especially after she got really skinny circa 2016, she would be a rly good timeskip cast for the older, strung-out version of my character max? 

wld definitely gif brie in Sleeping With Other People & How to Be Single & Community s5 + s6 if sage and i ever went through with that timekip plot or if i ever found a place to play a conniving daffodil.