#to the point that even one person finding out you’re russian and not treating you any different is a gift from the heavens

[malachitezmeyka]

Sometimes I go like “I’m fine” and then remember that one friend whom I loved dearly who did a complete 180, told me to fuck off and essentially split apart our entire friend group in 2022 simply because I was Russian and she was Ukrainian. We didn’t talk politics, didn’t discuss the news too much, nobody held any anti Ukrainian opinions. We showered her in nothing but sympathy and support. And yet somehow, it was all our fault. We were 15 and it was our fault. Because we were Russian, so how could it not be?

I’ve never been the same since

[lafiametta]

For the anora prompt: fear

This one's a bit of a stretch, Anon, but I still hope you like it! :)

It’s after one of the stops they make—somewhere between the crowded nightclub and a late-night kebab shop—that he notices it, a tiny glint from underneath Toros’s seat. Only when he crouches down and looks again, waiting an extra second after everyone has piled out of the car, does Igor realize what it is.

The diamond ring, wedged between the seat and the console.

He has no idea how it got there—maybe it slipped out of Toros’s pocket at some point when he was leaning over—but there’s no question that his boss is going to want it back.

He quickly grabs the ring and jumps out of the SUV, about to explain to Toros that he’s found it.

“Where the fuck is your husband, huh?” he hears Toros bark at her from the sidewalk. “Or maybe you’ve just been fucking around with us all night and you don’t want to tell us where he is. Doesn’t matter. We’re going to get this thing annulled and then you’re done.”

By the time he catches up to them, Igor has closed his mouth, and almost without realizing it quickly slips the hand with the ring into his pants pocket. It makes no sense what he’s doing; he can’t even begin to explain it to himself.

Toros turns to him, switching to Russian. “What?”

Igor shrugs, wiping any expression from his face. “Nothing.”

“Okay,” the Armenian says, waving them into the shop as if they’re children. “Let’s go.”

The whole time Toros is interrogating the shop worker, waving around that terrible Instagram photo, Igor can barely pay attention. The ring is clutched in his hand, almost biting into his skin, as if the pain will keep reminding him of what a colossal mistake he’s probably making. He knows how it could look, not returning it immediately. Maybe they’ll call him a thief or have him arrested—or worse. He hasn’t lived in Russia for years, but he knows there are some families—some people—you don’t mess with.

The fear of that is enough to send a chill through him.

Still, they can’t accuse him of being a thief if they don’t know he has it, can they? Toros clearly has no idea the ring is even gone, or else he would be yelling even more loudly than he normally does, and no one saw him pick it up.

As they leave the kebab shop, still no closer to finding Ivan, Igor waits a step or two behind and zips the ring into the inner pocket of his jacket. There are still tiny indentations marking his palm, but they’ll fade soon enough.

As they continue their search, going to more restaurants and bars and clubs, he still can’t quite believe he’s done what he’s done. The ring’s too light to feel but he knows it’s there, burning like a tiny ember against his chest. Even as they stop to get some food, all piled together in a booth and nodding as the waitress tells them about the specials, he’s still thinking about it, wondering what he’s going to do with it.

He’s not a saint; the thought does occur to him that he could try to keep it for himself. It’s worth a lot and there are a lot of things in his life it could pay for.

But it doesn’t belong to him, not permanently. And clearly he doesn’t think it belongs to the Zakharovs either, or he would have returned it the minute he found it.

There’s only one person it belongs to. The first time he had seen it had been on her finger, after all—right before they took it.

And as he watches her that night and through the next day—seeing her beg and plead with her drunk shitstain of a husband and the way they all treat her, like she’s trash to be disposed of, seeing the pain behind her eyes as the dream she had made for her life begins to fall apart—he knows the ring won’t be enough to make up for everything that’s been taken from her.

But it’s a start.

It’s there in his pocket as they board the plane, and there as he slips off his jacket in the warmth of the crowded cabin. He can’t give it back to her now, not in front of all these people, but as she sleeps he lays the jacket over her—and at for a moment, at least, the ring is back where it belongs, hidden and safe as it’s tucked in beside her.

[send me a one-word Anora x Igor prompt]

[captainfightingflower]

Y’know what annoys me? Most Trivia Murder Party fans. If you feel like you belong in the most category and/or feel like you’re going to be attacked by reading this: please do not read further, this isn’t designed to be an attack on anyone, but i do not sugarcoat my feelings one bit ether. Now for the rest of you who are interested in reading out my very long vent about my distain for the fandom’s babification of TMP & TMP 2: click “Keep reading” instead. (But be warned: my words are venomous to the ill prepared.)

Now this isn’t talking about ALL of them: i mean for starters, i have no qualms with the majority of Russian Trivia Murder Party fans, since they actually stay quite true to the themes of the source material, i’m talking about the actual children who take this game that’s themed around horror and death and turn it into a children’s show!

Like the amount of poll vaulting these children do with their headcannons to remove everything that’s scary or even SLIGHTLY violent about the Trivia Murder Party series deserves an Olympic medal. There’s a joke about masturbating in a cemetery for Pete’s sake! The “not family friendly” tag is there for a reason.

I mean not only do they infantilize the host, turning them from a quirky individual who can be incredibly threatening when they want to be to just “uwu stabby stabby”, but they also somehow manage to infantilize the VICTIMS! Y’know, the voodoo dolls that are meant to represent you, the player behind the phone?

And i mean i have nothing against giving the victims a little personality, but like...god these guys treat The Jester like they are an actual infant! If i was shot everytime i saw a “Jeter likes cheese” post; it’d be a miracle if i was still alive! And why do you guys ship them with The Sheriff of all victims?!? I just don’t get that, never did and probably never will. Not to mention how much they downplay some victims like Lust, Pride, Gluttony or Despair, to the point where they don’t even resemble their sins anymore!

Now let me tell you about these headcannons. First of all: the whole “they get turned into the dolls” pisses me off SO MUCH! Every time i see this happen, it just RUINS my enjoyment then and there. The only reason why these kids even headcannon this is because acknowledging the fact that whenever a doll get’s shot, or stabbed, or thrown into a blender: there’s supposed to be a human that’s getting mystically mangled like the doll! And since any blood whatsoever is too scary for them to handle, they would rather turn people into dolls or completely remove the voodoo from voodoo doll. Because god forbit a piece of media run by a serial killer have blood!

And don’t get me started on the shit-show that is Schmitty X [REDACTED]. The amount of hurdles these babies jump to justify that this is a healthy relationship and not abusive stockholm syndrome is frankly disgusting. Now it’s one thing to base your ship entirely around the original Trivia Murder Party, where they are just friends and shipping them wouldn’t be problematic. And it’s another thing to ship them and make it an abusive one. But...god...god these kids are so insistent that ether 

A. It’s all fake, and that the trauma Schmitty is going through is just coincidental (which i find to be a copout that does not make sense, especially if you add the fact that they believe YDKJ: FS’s ETS is fully real [which i’ve already made a post about my gripes with that]).

B. He forgave him after realizing that it was his friend who kidnapped and tortured him for actual years (which is much worse).

C. TMP Killer kidnapped him because they were attracted to him (which is not only significantly more worse, but also what the fuck are you implying with that).

Or D. All of the above (which does not make ANY sense and violently contradicts itself).

I don’t get why these kids want to back Schmitty up in a love corner with Cookie Masterson & the Trivia Murder Party killer, when cutting him out and shipping “Murderson” instead is infinitely better! (No i do not ship Cookie X [REDACTED], if you were wondering; i’m just pointing out the obvious).

I mean where’s the violence? The angst you guys love so much?! What’s stopping you from drawing gore of the series that’s just BEGGING for it?!?! It seriously reminds me of the Creepypasta fandom or the Five Night’s at Freddy’s fandom, but at least with those two: i can actually FIND gore and angst about it! I have 3.81 GB of JUST Trivia Murder Party content stored in my Fun & Games drive, and barely ANY of it has even the SLIGHEST bit of blood or the MODICUM of angst!

Honestly i just wish that these children would grow up and start making some content that’s actually true to the source material of the game they claim to love so much.

[avocado-writing]

Kinktober #23

aisling1985 bratdoll666  lady-jane3  kermit-emoji  underratedboogeyman  ltlthetrifecta  zuzusoo  venusthepirate (tagging y’all who said you would be interested in non tan ones)

Some a/n for this one - thank you to lady-jane3 for helping me with Russian pet names! Also as a note, this blog is 100000% SWer positive!

23) Gags // Fucking Machine // Erotic Dancing

To be fair, it isn’t a bad gig. Much better than the dancing job you had back at home anyway. You find clients tend to be a lot more respectful of you and your body in this club. Though, maybe it’s because the people who come here know who’s running it. 

And crossing him usually doesn’t end well for them.

You count your tips. Seventy thousand yen, decent for a night’s work. You’ve covered a lot of your rent in that. If you have another good night tomorrow you might treat yourself to a fancy meal after your shift. The ideal has you salivating, knowing you only have instant food at home. 

There’s a shared dressing room for the dancers, but you’re the only one in here at the moment. Everyone else is either on stage or giving private dances. It’s a little oasis of calm in the busy bustle this place usually contains, of workers laughing and teasing each other.

You’re reapplying your lipstick in the mirror when your friend Aoi appears behind you. You don’t take your eyes off of your pout, speaking to her without looking.

“What’s up?”

“The boss is in the back. He, ah, wants to speak to you.”

“Wait, ‘he’? Not Yoko?” Yoko is the manager on shift tonight. What can she…?

“No, not Yoko. The real boss.”

You finally tear your eyes away. When you catch Aoi’s reflection, you can see how frightened she looks.

Oh.

Your lipstick falls from your hand.

Him.

You don’t know his name. He’s only ever been called The White Death, but really he’s just referred to as ‘boss’ around here. He doesn’t come to the club very often, even though it makes him a pretty penny. You suppose he’s too important. But occasionally he likes to check in on how his investments are doing personally. 

You’ve met him precisely once.

It must have been a couple of months ago. You’d heard the rumours that surrounded him, of course. The particular brand of punishment he liked to dole out to people who upset him. So when you were told he was coming to the club you made an exceptional effort to keep your head down. No point singling yourself out.

And your plan had gone quite well. Whatever business he was conducting was clearly far above the paygrade of the dancers who are employed here. In fact, when you’d stepped out for a smoke, you’d almost entirely forgotten he was around. 

Until you run into him in the alleyway outside. 

He’d locked eyes with you and there was no mistaking who he was. Six-and-a-half feet tall, long grey hair. Steely gaze. You swallowed thickly. Frozen like a deer in the headlights, a cigarette hanging between your painted lips.

The two of you stared at each other for a long time. He’d made no secret of looking you up and down, taking you in. He dropped the butt of his own cigarette to the ground and stamped it out. When he started walking over, you winced.

But it was simply to offer you help.

You’d been too frightened to say much. So you’d just let him cup his free hand around the end of your cigarette and light it for you. He had a flip-lighter, silver, with an engraving on the side. You hadn’t caught what it was. 

“You shouldn’t smoke, you know. Bad habit,” he’d said. His voice was low, accented. You couldn’t quite place it. Russian, maybe? That seemed familiar from the stories you’d heard. 

You’d inhaled a shaky puff, the bitter taste flooding your mouth. It helped steady your nerves a bit.

“I’m trying to quit,” you replied, “it’s not going very well.”

He’d laughed at that, a single gravelly chuckle. You liked the way his mouth turned up as he smiled.

“Next time, no cigarettes. You’re too lovely to smoke your life away.”

Oh. You can’t pretend that that didn’t do something for you. Send a shiver down your spine all the way to the pit of your stomach.

“I’ll do my best, sir.”

“Good.”

And with that, he’d walked back inside. 

“I don’t think he wants to be kept waiting,” Aoi says, shifting uncomfortably. You can’t blame her. She probably wants you out of the way so she doesn’t have to deal with whatever you’re getting caught up in. You stand on shaky legs and make your way out the door. The belting music of the club is reduced to a muffled thump under the thunder of your heart in your ears. You could well be walking to your death. 

‘The back’, as you colloquially refer to it, is the nicest room you have. Plush sofas, low lights. Intimate. There are two men posted up outside but they seem to be expecting you - one of them even holds open the door, like you’re walking into a fancy restaurant rather than a place for private dancing. 

It’s dark. Of course it is. But there’s enough dim light for you to see you’re very much not alone. 

There are members of the White Death’s syndicate. You recognise their masks. The boss himself sits on one of the long leather couches at the edge of the room. Between the two of you is a low table, a man either side of it. They’re both shaking. They look up at you with tandem looks of fear on their faces. 

One of them has a gun in his hands. 

You gasp, take a step back, but the White Death calls out to you. 

“Ah. I’d hoped for this to be over by the time you got here. Come, this shouldn’t take much longer.”

His legs are spread so he can fit his massive frame comfortably on the sofa. One large tattooed hand pats his thigh, inviting you to take a seat. You aren’t paid to argue, so obediently cross the room and perch on him. 

He’s warm. That hand which beckoned you over comes to rest on the skin of your waist, spanning far more of you than anyone else’s has ever done before. In a caress you weren’t expecting, he rubs his thumb in an arc. 

“You’ve not smoked, have you?”

You shake your head. 

“No, sir.” Not even looked at them since last time. He smiles, just a little, but it’s something you’re desperate for more of. 

“Good,” he reaches up with his free hand, takes your chin gently to be able to tilt your head and look at you. “Good.”

It’s an oddly intimate moment considering there are so many other witnesses present, but when he looks into your eyes, you’re entranced. A whimper from one of the men at the table breaks the magic. 

“Now,” the White Death straightens up, back to business, “these two men owe me money. And they’re late on paying it. I’ve decided to be very generous and give one of them a chance to extend his loan, so they’re playing a game to see who gets the opportunity.”

You know the rumours well enough to guess which game it is. Especially with the gun. 

“Does death frighten you?” he asks, dropping his voice low so only you can hear. You shake your head. 

“No, sir.”

You’ve seen death before. Strangers in the street who have OD’d. People getting on the wrong side of a thug. In fact, even bodies being dragged out of this very room. Probably the fault of the man whose lap you’re in. 

“Brave little thing,” he chuckles, then once again turns back to the men. “Go on then.”

The man looks at the gun in his hands. He sobs as he puts it to his temple. He pulls the trigger. 

The gunshot cracks throughout the room, his brain matter paints the opposite wall, and he slumps down dead. His opponent weeps in relief. 

“Well, Mr Tanaka. It seems fate has plans for you yet. You have another week,” the White Death announces to him. With a click of his fingers one of his men takes the cowering survivor by the collar and frog-marches him out the room. The others begin to tend to the body. 

“Don’t look at that, куколка. Look at me.”

You’re not sure what he’s just called you, but the sound of it makes your heart face. So you do. It’s remarkably easy to ignore the gory scene and concentrate instead on the handsome face of the man next to you. 

“I’ve heard you dance well,” he says. You nod. 

“I try to, sir.”

“Why don’t you show me, hmm?”

Well, that you can do. 

You turn your back to the goings-on in the room behind you, focus all of your attention on the White Death. Carefully, sensually, you stretch one of your legs over his other thigh, so you can sit face-to-face with him, kneeling on the sofa while keeping his hips near yours. 

He’s enraptured as you start to move your body. With slow, sensual movement you undulate your hips, drawing out every thrust. At first you try to leave some space between the two of you, tease him a little, but the sheer size of him makes that a difficult task. So you simply give in to the closeness and grind your hips down on him. 

He lets out an airy chuckle of satisfaction the first time you do it, and on the second both of his hands come to rest on your waist. Your chest presses up against his as you continue. You can feel his heartbeat, steady compared to the rabbit’s-pace yours is going at. That’s what you feel like. A rabbit at a hunter’s mercy. So why do you love it so much?

You let your hands alight on his broad shoulders. The way you’re holding each other now is almost like a lovers’ embrace. If only you were anywhere else but this room, and anyone else apart from who you both are. 

Gingerly you bury your face in his hair. Not deep, but enough to feel how his hands tighten their grip on you. 

“Lovely,” he breathes. 

You wonder if he’d kiss you now, if you were alone. You wonder if you’d let him. 

“Sir…”

Neither of you move, but you do both turn to face the man who’s approached. Even under his mask you can see his nervousness. 

“We’ve just had word from your son. It appears he’s in trouble.”

The White Death curses under his breath. You don’t know the language but understand the sentiment behind the words. He turns back to you. You feel him reach into his pocket and grab a wad of notes. He thumbs out a plentiful amount and tucks them in the band of your underwear. Just eyeballing it, you think his tip might have been more than you made this entire month. 

“Duty calls me elsewhere,” he seems genuinely… disappointed, “but you will dance for me again.”

It’s not really a question, more a demand, but you still whisper:

“Yes.”

[paradoxolotl]

CONCEPT: Neil and Andrew vs ULTIMATE KAREN

“Hey, Neil?” Robin stood in the doorway, hands shoved in the pockets of her black apron. She was chewing on her lip ring, a sure sign of her fraying control. “I gotta lady out here who would like to-“ her hands came out to make exaggerated air quotes- “‘speak to whoever runs this poor excuse of a store’.”

Dropping the pad he had been noting inventory with, Neil straightened, his back cracking as he went. “Andrew still out with Renee?”

“Mmm hmm,” Robin hummed, picking at her chipping polish.

Sighing, Neil ran a hand through his hair. “How do I look?”

Robins’s smile was a wicked thing. “Deplorable.”

“Perfect.”

*

Stepping out into the front of the coffee shop, Neil spotted the problem immediately. Entitlement dripped out of every one of her pores, from her pinched brows to her hand splayed over the counter. Her eyes narrowed in on Neil and Robin immediately, her chin jutting out in a false display of superiority.

Neil thought Allison could chew this woman up and spit her out without remorse.

“Are you the manager?” She asked, skepticism thick on her tongue and nail clicking against the concrete counter.

Neil didn’t bother to correct her, straightening a few displays as he made his way over. She scoffed, muttering under her breath about terrible service. There was only one other couple in the shop, a pair of regulars that Andrew had traded recipes with in the past. When the woman’s arms crossed over her chest, a frown pulling at her mouth, Neil finally dusted his hands off on his pants and stepped toward her.

“What’s the problem?”

“The problem,” she snarled, pointing a finger at Robin, “is that that girl is trying to rob me!”

“And how, exactly, is she doing that?”

“She’s refusing to give me my discount! I bought a coffee, so I get a free dessert!”

Rolling his eyes internally, Neil leaned back, resting against the counter. “That was a limited time promotion. It ended yesterday.” He spied the packed slice of cake sitting by the till. “Besides, it was only for our cookies.”

She glared at him, clearly unhappy. “I was here yesterday and got a free cake. And no one told me it was for a limited time.”

Neil knew she didn’t get a free cake yesterday. They had run out of cake before noon after a group of college students had cleared them out. He ignored this though; he had inventory to finish and he had plans for tonight he didn’t want to delay. “It was posted on the sign.”

She waved him off. “Whatever. Just give me my free cookie then.”

“They’re two fifty before tax.”

“I’m not paying that!”

Neil shrugged, “Fine. Then you don’t get the cookie.”

“Is this how you treat your customers?” She all but yelled. “I have never seen someone so disrespectful!”

“I haven’t even started being disrespectful yet,” Neil said stepping forward to lean over the counter and into her space. “Not that I could even manage that with you. Hard to be disrespectful to someone who garners zero respect. What is it? You feel powerless in your life so you take it out on workers who dare tell you that you’re mistaken? Do you wake up every day to a family who barely tolerates you, suffers under your bullshit, knowing that every time you open your mouth you drive them a little further away? Do you feel so stifled in your own pathetic mundanity that you lash out, hoping to feel in control of your life again? Even when it’s a hollow lie?”

The woman stared at him, mouth agape. For a blessed moment, Neil thought she would storm out and that would be the end of it. Then her jaw clenched, her nose turned up, and Neil knew she was going to double down.

“I demanded an apology! I know the owner personally and will have you fired! People like you should know your place! The customer is always right!”

It was in the middle of her screaming, face turning red, that the little bell over the door chimed. Neil flicked his gaze over to meet hard hazel staring back.

“Give me the number to your corporate office right now! I want your employee number and your name!”

Pushing off the counter, Neil watched as Andrew stalked around to join him, all but slamming the gate closed. The woman jumped at the noise, her eyes narrowing at Andrew’s heavy footsteps.

“I can’t leave you alone for five minutes,” Andrew said, staring at Neil.

“Are you the manager?” The woman snapped.

They ignored her. “She says she knows the owner,” Neil said, slipping into Russian. “Very scary stuff. Promised she’d have me fired.”

“Maybe I should listen to her,” Andrew said. “I could finally get rid of you.”

Neil laughed. “I own fifty percent of this place. Good luck with that.”

“Excuse me,” the woman hissed, “it is incredibly offensive to speak another language when dealing with a customer! You are in America. Speak English.”

“I find your very presence incredibly offensive,” Andrew said. “Leave.”

“I have never been treated like this! You should be ashamed of yourselves! I am a customer!”

“You’re an irritant fly. Buzzing around until someone smacks you dead,” Andrew said.

“Oh no,” Neil drawled, cutting off the next round of bullshit about to fall from her mouth. “You’ve done it. Now she’ll demand you be fired too.”

“Who the fuck is going to fire me? Myself?” Andrew said.

She blinked rapidly, a flush spreading across her cheeks. Neil gasped, placing a hand over his heart. “But ma’am,” he said, “I thought you knew the owner personally! Surely you didn’t lie to me?”

“How immoral,” Andrew tsked.

“I- this is extremely unprofessional!” She said, eyes flicked between them.

“So is pulling a knife on you, and yet you seem eager for that to happen.”

“Did you just threaten me?” she asked, eyes wide.

“No. Neil, did you hear me threaten her?” Andrew said, fingers dancing along the back counter.

“No. Robin?”

“Didn’t hear a word, boss.”

“How odd,” Andrew said, fingering the handle of a slim knife they used to slice the pies. “You should go and get your hearing checked, otherwise why would you still be here? Buzzing. Waiting to be smacked dead.”

She swallowed, taking a step back. “I’m never coming here again! I’ll be sure to tell everyone I know to take their business elsewhere!”

“You forgot your cookie!” Neil called at her retreating figure, but she was already out the door.

Andrew let out a bone deep sigh. “All of that over a two dollar cookie?”

“Two fifty before tax,” Neil corrected, earning a rag thrown at his face.

[mayhem24-7forever]

Let Me Protect You

Steve Harrington x Reader

Author’s Notes: I don’t feel comfortable with minors reading any of my fics, even the SFW ones. Please respect my boundaries and let me have a safe place to express myself. Thank you to my darling @chaseadrian for beta reading this. Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Content Warnings: she/her pronouns, ANGST, a little fluff as a treat, hurt/comfort, swearing/adult language, near drowning, graphic violence, blood and gore, wounds/cuts, near suffocation/asphyxiation, attacked by the demo-bats, drug usage/sedatives/powerful painkillers, a lot of pain (both physical and emotional), two people who are willing to die to protect the other/self-sacrificing tendencies, basically the end of st4 episode 6 and the beginning/end of episode 7 but with reader

Boat rides in the moonlight with your boyfriend were supposed to be romantic. But this one wasn’t. Likely because they were joined by three other people all being chased by the cops and trying to find a portal to a hell world… so, not romantic at all. Y/N glanced nervously as they got farther out from the shore, leaving the three kids behind. Steve had wanted her to stay with them, like any protective boyfriend would but she had stepped into the boat and refused to move until Steve agreed to let her come. She was stubborn like that, which was one of the reasons Steve had fallen in love with her, but on that particular night it was a quality he was beginning to think was overrated. 

So instead of staying on shore for a safer babysitting duty, she found herself sitting with him at the back of the boat as they sailed towards the point Dustin’s broken compass was pointing to. Nancy sat at the front of the boat with the compass while Robin and Eddie had somehow been roped into rowing. Steve used the flashlight to check out the water around them and Y/N just sat there. She felt a little useless, this was a four person job and by being stubborn she was not only dead-weight to the team but had also left the kids alone to fend for themselves. Maybe Steve was right, although she’d never admit it and as she glanced over at him, he looked angry.

“I think we’re getting closer!” Nancy called from the front.

“Steve?” his girlfriend asked quietly and he turned to look at her. 

“What’s up babe?” he asked.

“I’m sorry.” she said, dropping her eyes down as she fiddled with her hands nervously on her lap.

“What for?” he asked, his face scrunching up into his confused look, something she had gotten used to seeing during their monster-fighting adventures.

“For being a stubborn bitch.” she replied lowly and Steve grabbed her hands suddenly.

“Don’t say that.” he told her. “Sure, you can be stubborn and headstrong and… another word for stubborn. But you’re not a bitch and anyone who calls my girlfriend that is going to have to go a few rounds with me and my fists.”

She chuckled. Steve wasn’t exactly the best fighter and most of his successes had been out of sheer dumb luck. But what he lacked in skill, technique, and really everything else, he made up for with enthusiasm. Whether it was a jock back in high school that was bothering her, a group of Russian soldiers, or a ten-foot demogorgon, Steve was going to see it through to the end.

“I seem to recall that most of your fights end up with you down on the ground, bruised as hell, so I think I could take you.” she joked and he laughed before she got serious again. “But really Steve, I’m sorry for never listening when you try to keep me safe. I just want to keep you safe, for once.”

“You shouldn’t be sorry, I do the same thing to you all the time. I mean just the other night you told me not to poke that tarp with an oar and Eddie almost ended up stabbing me with his beer bottle shiv.” Steve said and she remembered just how that moment had felt.

She wasn’t angry at him for not listening, that always came afterwards, but the feeling that had overwhelmed her when she saw sharp glass pointed at his throat was the paralyzing fear that he was going to get hurt. After everything they had been through –fighting demogorgons, demodogs, the mindflayer, Russians– all they wanted to do was keep the other safe, even if that meant their self-sacrificing tendencies clashed with one another. 

So when Dustin and Max told them that a local girl’s death wasn’t as straightforward as it seemed and they fell down a rabbit hole of trying to cure Max of Vecna’s curse, she and Steve were once again caught in a cycle of disagreement and self-sacrifice. They bickered constantly, he couldn’t understand why she suddenly had a death wish and she used the ‘is it because I’m a girl’ card more often than she probably should have. She was being more stubborn than usual and every time she used herself as a shield, Steve got a little bit angrier. 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt. Everytime I see you bruised and bloody it makes me feel like I failed and it scares me. I just… I can’t lose you, Steve Harrington.” she said earnestly.

“And I feel the exact same way. And I know it sounds a little misogynistic for me to insist on being the big tough guy who saves the helpless woman, but I don’t protect you because you’re a girl. I protect you because you’re my girl.” he replied and she put a hand up to his cheek.

“I guess we have to make an agreement that we’re going to trade off who gets to do the protecting.” she said softly, gazing into his hazel eyes.

“I guess we are.” he replied. “So let me protect you tonight and you can protect me tomorrow. Deal?”

“Deal.” she said and they both smiled at one another, feeling like they were the only people in the world.

“Woah, woah, woah.” Nancy’s voice from the front of the boat said, breaking through their focus on one another. “I think it’s here!”

Nancy held out the compass and they all leaned in to see that it was spinning wildly, indicating they had reached to source of the disruption to the magnetic fields. Dustin’s voice rang through the walkie talkie and Robin picked it up to tell him what was going on. Y/N was looking at the compass when she felt Steve shift next to her, looking over to find him removing his shoes and socks.

“Steve, what are you doing?” she asked.

“Somebody’s gotta go down there and check it out.” he replied as he continued pulling his shoes off. “Unless one of you four can top being a Hawkins High swim co-captain and a certified lifeguard for three years, then it’s gotta be me. No complaints, alright?”

“Steve…” Y/N began lowly but he cut her off.

“Let me protect you.” he said before smiling. “Don’t go back on our deal now.”

“Fine.” she replied begrudgingly, knowing she was beat.

“Hey, I’m not complaining.” Eddie said as he began wrapping a plastic bag around the flashlight to make it as water-proof as he could. “I do not wanna go down there.”

Steve stood up and took off his yellow sweater, revealing his bare chest. It was a sight she usually welcomed because it often meant they were going to have sex, but it was not a welcome sight this time. Of course he looked gorgeous, toned just right with a patch of dark hair on his chest, but seeing it meant he was about to jump into a lake to find a hell gate, something that was really beginning to set in. He dropped his sweater on top of his shoes and looked around at the water. Eddie finished wrapping the flashlight and handed it to him, wishing him luck as Nancy and Robin followed suit.

“Steve.” Y/N said and he turned from the water to look at her. “Be careful… for me, please.”

He leaned down to give her a quick kiss, squeezing her hand before he smiled and jumped into the lake, disappearing into it’s dark depths with a splash. The boat rocked from his jump but Eddie and Robin worked to make sure it didn’t capsize. The boat soon leveled out and they were once again floating on a very still lake, nothing but a flat expanse of water. Robin leaned over and grabbed her hand reassuringly, a gesture which was very much appreciated as her anxiety flared up. Nancy was keeping time with a stop watch and Y/N couldn’t bring herself to ask how long he had been under because it felt like years for her. An eternity spent staring at water and waiting for Steve to return, to see so much as a bubble break the surface.

“Where are we at Wheeler?” Robin asked. 

“Closing in on a minute.” Nancy replied.

“Just out of curiosity, do we happen to know how long Harrington can hold his breath for?” Eddie asked.

“Two minutes.” his girlfriend replied quietly, not moving her eyes from the water. “Steve can hold his breath for two minutes while he swims.”

A silence fell over them once again as they continued waiting and hoping. Robin shifted anxiously and the air was so tense it felt like it could have been cut with a knife.

“Time?” Eddie asked, sending a worried glance towards Y/N’s back as she didn’t move a muscle.

“A minute fifty…” Nancy said and she started to count it down in her head, thinking about her boyfriend, determined to jump in after him if it passed two minutes.

Ten- his confident air.

Nine- how much he cared for the kids.

Eight- how stubborn he was.

Seven- his laugh.

Six- his voice.

Five- his charming smile.

Four- how ridiculously stubborn he was.

Three- his soft hair. 

Two- his beautiful eyes.

One- how ridiculously goddamn stubborn he was.

“That’s it, I’m going in after him.” She said and stood up, getting ready to jump in.

“Wait, hold on!” Robin insisted. “I’m sure he’s fine, he’s-”

Robin was cut off by Steve bursting through the surface next to the boat, rocking it so much that she likely would have fallen out if Eddie hadn’t steadied her. 

“I found it!” he yelled and moved to the side of the boat, grabbing it as he breathed heavily. 

She had never been so happy to see his her boyfriend, drenched and heaving in breaths with a smile on his face. She sunk to her knees instantly and leaned forwards over him.

“Oh. My. God. I. Thought. You. Were. Gone!” she scolded him, pressing aggressive kisses to the top of his head between words.

He took one hand off the boat to hold hers, squeezing it reassuringly as Robin radioed Dustin to report the good news.

“It’s pretty wild.” Steve told the group. “It’s more a snack-sized gate than the mama gate but still, it’s pretty damn big.”

He smiled, clearly proud of himself before he disappeared under the surface for a second, looking confused when he popped back up. She had dropped his hand when he had gone under but she suddenly had the urge to grab it once again and not let go. He looked around him but didn’t see anything and as he turned back towards them, he was yanked under once more. But this time he wasn’t alone, she had been clutching his hand when he got pulled under and she had been pulled out of the boat. The last thing that went through her brain as she was pulled overboard was ‘fuck, this isn’t gonna be good’.

Steve had thought it was supposed to be simple. Just jump in the freezing cold lake, swim to the bottom, find a magic gate to a hell dimension, and get back in the boat so they could plan their next move. Being dragged through the water and down towards the hole to hell by a large tentacle wrapped on his ankle was not part of the plan and neither was having his girlfriend still holding his hand when it happened. The second he realized that whatever was pulling him under and towards the gate was also taking her as well, his eyes widened in fear. He tried to let go so she could float away but she kept a death grip on his wrist, seemingly determined not to lose hold. They had been pulled under without preparation and they were both running out of air as the creature, a long tentacle, pulled them further and further down. Steve didn’t take his eyes off her, ignoring the burning in his lungs as he watched her exhale her last bit of air and begin choking on water, panic in her eyes. He wanted to scream at her to let go of him, to save herself, but he could do nothing except try to wrench his wrist free of her hand. But she wouldn’t let go no matter how hard he tried. They were moving fast, so fast that the tentacle pulled them through the gate before Steve lost the last of his air.

The tentacle threw them into the air as it pulled them in and gravity readjusted so they flopped down hard onto a patch of slimy vines. The tentacle did not let go though, only continuing to pull Steve and his girlfriend further from the gate as they choked up water and tried to breath. Steve could feel the skin on his bare back being shredded and he hoped that her clothes would protect her. Steve smacked into a slimy, vine covered mass and the tentacle let go, disappearing as his girlfriend flew into him. It knocked the wind out of both of them and it was a few seconds of panting before Steve was able to pull himself together enough to realize they were both still breathing. Her chest heaved as she lay on her back and Steve scrambled to move over her, assuring himself that she was in fact still alive.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asked frantically, his hands searching her body for injuries before moving to her face as she blinked rapidly, a little dazed from almost drowning. “Baby please, I have to know if you’re okay.”

“I’m okay…” she rasped out, her voice a little hoarse and Steve dropped his head down in a sigh of relief. “I’m probably a bit bruised but I don’t think I’m really hurt. Are you okay, Steve?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He answered before pulling her into a tight hug a hand on the back of her head cradling it. “Fuck…”

They shifted to sit up together and he took in the sight of his girlfriend, scratched up and covered in disgusting grime. To him, it was the most beautiful sight in the world because it meant she was alright. They stayed there for a moment just holding one another as they caught their breath, clinging on to each other like they could be ripped apart at any moment, which was a distinct possibility in the Upside Down. Steve pulled back and put his hands on her cheeks, shaking as he stared into her eyes.

“Why didn’t you let go? You should have just let go!” he said and she shook her head.

“And leave you all alone? Never.” she replied.

“What happened to letting me protect you?” he asked.

“Technically, you never told what to do.” she replied and he shook his head incredulously, the barest trace of a smile on his face. “And I promised I’d let you save me, not that I’d save myself.”

“You stubborn…” he said before pulling her in for another hug, glad to have her safe in his arms. “You stubborn, stubborn smartass.”

“What can I say? I learned from the stubbornest smartass I know!” She laughed against his chest.

They stood up and took the opportunity to look at their surroundings for the first time. The Upside Down was– well it was just as bad as Will and Nancy had described it from their time there: dark and disgusting and terrifying. They were in the center of what was apparently the Upside Down version of lover’s lake, dry and overrun with strange vines that consumed everything. The sky was dark blue and red lightning flashed from within some clouds, casting an ominous red glow through them. The air was chilly and heavy with dust like particles. The vines and the air at least, were similar to the tunnels under the pumpkin patch that the demodogs had dug but to see it on such a grander scale was nerve-wracking. They were in the hell-like not-Hawkins full of dangerous monsters and Steve was overwhelmed with all of the possible dangers to himself and his girlfriend in the landscape around them.

“Let’s get the fuck back to the gate.” he said and she nodded, taking her hand and heading towards it.

They had only made it a few steps when they froze at a horrifying noise. It was not the menacing thunder accompanying the red lightning but some kind of creature snarling in the distance. They turned to see a small shape come towards them from far above the forest and the closest thing Steve could compare it to was a very large bat with a very long tail. It cried out again as it approached and they began to back up, Steve keeping her behind him. If this creature was gonna attack, it was going to have to get through him to get to her. Suddenly, another shriek rang through the air and Steve turned to see that there was another creature approaching on the other side. Everywhere he turned, there was another bat blocking their path and closing them in on all sides. They were surrounded and Steve was struck with the realization that he couldn’t shield her from all of them.

He looked around and saw that within the large vine patch they had landed in was a boat, barely visible. He ran to it, pulling her along with him and grabbed the first thing he could see: an oar. He pulled it out just in time as the first of the bats swooped down to attack, only to be smacked away by his oar. It was on the ground for only a moment before it was launching back up into the air. He swung at another and heard her doing the same but couldn’t land a blow on them as they advanced too quickly, barely able to doge out of the way. He took another large swing when he heard her cry out in surprise and turned to see a bat had wrapped its tail around her waist tightly, her oar dropping to the ground in surprise. She pushed against it but the bat simply yanked her backwards, sending her hard onto the ground several feet away from him as she screamed.

“No!” he yelled and moved to follow when another bat swooped in and clasped onto his shoulder with such force that it drove him to the ground, his oar flying somewhere out of reach.

Then in an instant, the bat had wrapped its tail around his neck and was choking him as it tried to fly further away. He struggled to breath, one hand trying to pull it off of his neck and the other trying to hit out at the creature but it was just out of reach, flapping violently and making squealing noises. A sharp pain radiated from his right side and he found that another bat had landed on his stomach, sinking its sharp talons and teeth into him. He tried to yank at the tail around his neck again but it did nothing, just continuing to squeeze the air from his throat. A third bat joined the attack and landed on his left side, tearing and biting into him wildly like the other. His hands were alternating between trying to free his neck to breathe and swatting at the bats on his stomach, only keeping them away for a few seconds before they’d return to nibbling on him.

The bat choking him began to pull harder and both his hands went to try and claw it off because he could no longer breathe, not even for a moment as he had before. The bats on his stomach resumed their feasts. He heard his girlfriend scream out and his head turned as much as possible to her direction. He could see her lying on her stomach, her head being pulled up and back by a bat’s tail wrapped around her neck as two or three more sat on her back tearing into her flesh. One hand clutched at the tail frantically, trying to pull it off as the other reached out towards him, her eyes pleading with him for help as she gasped for air.

She was able to pull the tail off of her neck enough to scream out, sounding almost like a dying animal, high-pitched and pained, forming no words. It was torture, being held down and unable to help her as she screamed, watching her face turn red as she ran out of air, her hand still outstretched as if she could use it to get to him. Seeing her like that felt much more painful than anything the bats were doing to him. He was able to manage a few screams by prying the tail loose but only for a moment at a time and his vision was starting to go dark, her features blurring.

No, no, no, he thought. He couldn’t die, not before getting to her. She needed him and he couldn’t let them keep him from her. He had to do something, anything, but couldn’t and it was killing him. So close to her, yet unable to get to her. Just before his vision went black, something smacked one of the bats from his stomach. It skidded along the ground and whimpered pathetically before taking flight in the other direction. He turned his head and could barely make out someone standing above him, his discarded oar in hand.

“Hey there.” he heard Nancy say before the other bat was knocked away too.

A second figure came from behind Nancy and he could hear Nancy and Robin yelling at each other as they tried to kill the one choking him, but the tail wasn’t budging despite taking hit after hit. Nancy was attacked from behind by a bat and Robin went to try and rip it off of her, leaving Steve back to struggle against the bat alone. He heard another cry from his girlfriend’s direction and bit down on the tail, hard. It was disgusting and the bat’s dark blood was flooding his mouth but he had bit it deep enough that the bat released him and tried to fly away. He grabbed it before the last of it’s tail slipped from his neck and pulled it towards him, struggling with it. The bat’s strength faltered, just for a moment, but it was all he needed to yank it backwards and swing it up around his head to the ground. It kept flapping, trying to escape his grasp so he swung it down onto the ground again.

Again and again he hit it but it refused to die until one final hit, after what felt like ages, left it on the ground dazed long enough for him to step his foot down on it. He yanked the tail as his foot kept it down, pulling the bottom half from the top half. He spit the blood out of his mouth and panted as he turned around trying to find his bearings. Nancy and Robin had one on the ground and seemed to be close to killing it but they seemed to have it under control so he spun around again to find her. He saw her, a little ways out from the group, still struggling as she had before while Eddie used an oar to swat bats off of her back. He had killed at least two but there was still one left, determined to return to her each time it was swatted away as the tail of another bat was still pulling her head up and back.

Steve’s legs were running towards her before his brain could tell them to. Eddie had gotten the last one off her back but was still smacking at it on the ground beside her, his oar splintering apart as he was finally able to kill it. Steve reached them and clutched the bat choking her in his hand, squeezing it tightly as he tried to keep his grip on it. It released her from it’s tail but was crushed by his fist before it could try to hit him with it. The bat’s body snapped with a crunching sound and he let it’s flimsy corpse fall to the ground. Within an instant, he was on his knees beside her, taking in the gorey scene before him.

The bats had shredded through the back of her shirt completely, only stringy bits remaining. Her entire back was one large wound, almost no unharmed skin left between all the deep and long jagged claw marks stretching from her shoulders to her waist. Entire chunks of her flesh were missing, having been bitten or scratched off, leaving only bloody craters, and what felt like an impossible amount of blood was seeping from her wounds. Without the tail to hold it up, her head had dropped onto the vine in front of her. The worst part was that she was still screaming out in pain, her body shaking with her sobs as her hands ripped into the vine with white knuckles.

“Ste- Steve!” he heard her gasp out from between sobs, turning her tear-stained face as far to the side as she could. “Is Steve okay?”

His heart stopped at that for a second, that despite her condition, the first thing she was asking was if he was alright or not. He quickly slipped one hand under her cheek, supporting her as she tried to look at him without moving her back, his other hand stroking the cheek facing up at him, gently pushing her hair back and wiping her tears.

“I’m okay. I’m okay.” he assured her quickly. “They took a fair bit of flesh but I’m alright.”

He tried to turn her over onto her side but he had barely placed his hands on her shoulder and side when she began screaming at him to stop.

“I can’t move Steve- it’s too painful! Each move- each breath- it’s like- I can’t- I can’t- I” she began, each word carrying her nearer to hysteria, her already heavy breathing picking up quickly.

“Hey, shh. Shh, it’s okay.” he cut her off, trying to calm her down before she started hyperventilating, his hands returning to her face. “It’s okay. I’m gonna get you out of here and we’re gonna be okay.”

He could vaguely hear Eddie cursing while Nancy and Robin discussed something about a hospital and rabies, but he didn’t care. He kept his focus on her, on measuring her wheezing breaths and stroking her hair as her muscles twitched involuntarily from the pain. Her eyes were squeezed shut, tears still streaming out of them as she made small whimpering noises, her face contorted into a grimace. He felt helpless, he couldn’t touch her without hurting her. He kept soothing her and thought about how they could get her back to the gate.

Just carrying her in his arms would jostle her around too much and since every move hurt her, he’d need to get her there as smoothly as possible. It didn’t help that his sides felt like they were burning, blood still slowly leaking from the bite marks. Walking would be hard, let alone carrying her. He remembered the boat and thought there might be something in there—fabric, a net, a plank of wood—anything they could use as a makeshift stretcher. Of course, swimming up to the surface with her, back to shore, and through the woods to the nearest house for help would still be difficult but at least with a stretcher, they could keep her laying on her stomach and keeping her back as straight as possible. He raised his head to tell someone to check the boat when a bat’s cry sounded out.

They all turned their heads to see a group of bats landing on the vines surrounding the gate, chittering angrily in their direction.

“There’s not that many. We can take ‘em.” Steve said, not completely convinced by what he was saying. “Right?”

The only reply he received was an echoing cry of a swarm of dozens of bats, approaching from afar. The red lightning crackled in the clouds behind them and doused them all in a harsh red light as they grew ever nearer.

“You were saying?” Nancy asked and Steve looked down at his girlfriend, trying to figure out how to keep her safe in such a terrifying situation.

“Fuck!” Eddie cried out at the sight of them.

“The woods! Come on!” Nancy cried, pointing at the trees closest to them. “It’s our only option!”

“I am so fucking sorry about this baby.” Steve said quickly to his girlfriend before scooping her off the ground and hauling her up against his chest, one arm supporting her shoulder as far from the scratches as was possible, the other arm hooked around her legs before running towards the forest.

She screamed loudly, sounding almost identical to her cries while the bats were attacking her. Her arms flew around his neck and clutched him so hard he knew there would be nail marks later, but he didn’t care. If clawing into him made her feel even a sliver better than he would let her tear every inch of him. She could bite chunks, scratch lines and tear out chunks of his hair if she needed to, he cared nothing about his pain, only relieving hers. To him, there was nothing in the world more important than her. Her head was buried in his neck, her pained cries at each jerky movement muffled into his skin. He felt awful that he was causing her so much pain but it was the only thing he could do to get her away from the bats. He could feel her blood on his arms, the feeling of the warm blood escaping her body making him hold her to him even closer, as if he could somehow will it back into her body. He ran, ignoring the excruciating pain radiating from his sides, his bare feet slapping painfully against the ground with each stride. His body seemed to be running on pure instinct, some primal urge allowing him to ignore the pain and push his body past its limits.

Despite his pain and her weight he was still able to keep up with the others as they reached the treeline and kept running. Her screams were getting quieter and soon he couldn’t hear them anymore. Her nails clawing into his back suddenly disappeared, her whole body going limp. He was going to stop and check on her but he felt her chest still heaving against his, her breath on his neck ensuring him that she was still alive. They raced past decrepit trees and over tangles of vines, Steve focused only on the feeling of her breathing and keeping his eyes firmly on the person in front of them, mirroring their moves as they dodged obstacles, racing to stay ahead of the bats. But her breath hitched and distracted him, causing him to miss a vine on the ground that snared his foot and sent them crashing to the ground.

He looked down at her, checking her breathing and finding that it was still steady.

“Harrington, let me carry her.” Eddie said and Steve couldn’t even pant out an answer before Eddie had picked her up and Steve found his arms being draped around Nancy and Robin’s shoulders.

They kept running and Steve kept his eyes on her limp form in Eddie’s arms, the red lightning making the trees cast eerie shadows on her face with each flash. Her eyes were closed and she almost looked peaceful as she bobbed lightly with each of Eddie’s steps, only the the harsh red line around her throat betraying that she was not just sleeping. He was grateful that Eddie was helping her but each jerky movement stabbed at his heart. He wanted her to wake up, to be back in his arms, to be safe, but that wasn’t possible so he settled for knowing that she was safer in Eddie’s arms than his at the moment. Steve stumbled a few times, his adrenaline wearing off as they continued running, but Robin and Nancy kept him upright and plowing forwards. He could hear the swarm getting ever closer behind them.

Finally they reached the upside-down version of skull rock, practically throwing themselves under the rock, the first of the bats swooping above them. Steve collapsed under the rock, still trying to push his body towards her as Eddie placed her down as gently as he could. She was on her side, her head lying in Robin's lap while Eddie squatted next to them. Nancy had to hold Steve down and after a few whispered orders to be quiet and stop moving, he reluctantly stopped trying to get to his girlfriend. They sat there crouching and panting for several minutes as the endless stream of bats continued overhead and Steve watched her breathing again, ignoring the ominous thunder and screeches from above.

It felt like ages until the screeching and the sound of wings faded off into the distance and when they did, Robin tentatively poked her head out for a peek.

“That was close.” she sighed.

“Yeah, too close.” Eddie added.

Steve pushed himself up with a pained groan but didn’t make it a single step before tumbling back on to the wall, trying to hold himself up as his head spun. “Oh sh… shit.”

“Steve? Jesus…” Nancy said as she looked at his stomach which was in much worse shape than it had been before.

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” he added, wincing.

“No, you’re not fine. You’re losing blood, you need to let me bandage your stomach.” she insisted and Steve tried pushing past her but she only pushed him back harder, almost shoving him over due to his weakness. “She’s not actively bleeding right now, you are. She’s unconscious and she won’t know if you’re not at her side for a minute or two.”

“I’ll know.” Steve said and Nancy shook her head, pointing at him angrily.

“Steven Richard Harrington, so help me god if you don’t let me help you…” she scolded. “You’re no good to her if you’re bleeding out or dead. Let me help you and then we can focus on her.”

She was right and he knew it. As infuriating as it was, his girlfriend was alright for the moment and he wasn’t. If he didn’t let Nancy patch him up, he might bleed to death before she ever even woke up. He nodded reluctantly, letting Nancy help him ease back down to the ground to sit. His heart was pounding in his ears, feeling each beat in his head as Nancy ripped a strip off of her skirt. He could vaguely make out Robin telling him that he probably didn’t have rabies but that if he started feeling symptoms like wanting to punch her then he should let her know.

“I kinda want to punch you.” he rasped out through heavy breaths, slightly annoyed with his best friend but really more grateful that she was trying to help, in her own roundabout Robin way.

She laughed and noted that still having a sense of humor was a good sign. He groaned painfully when Nancy wrapped the cloth around his torso but kept himself as still as he could so she could be done quicker.

“Leave some for Y/N, she’s gonna need them.” Steve grunted out but Robin told him they could use her button-up shirt because she had a shirt underneath.

Eddie helped her rip it up into appropriate sized strips while Nancy finished patching up Steve. He thanked her and then moved to his girlfriend, dropping down to the ground beside her.

“Wait, we need to figure out how to do this. I have to be able to wrap it all the way around her body so she can’t be lying down.” Nancy said, taking the bandages from Eddie and Robin.

Steve thought for a moment before pulling her into his arms and leaning back against the rock wall. He very carefully seated her in his lap so that her chest was leaning against his chest, leaving her back facing out towards Nancy. He carefully put one arm under her armpit and around to let his hand cradle the back of her head on his shoulder. His other hand stayed on her waist and he made sure he wasn’t covering any of her wounds. There was a bit of space between her chest and his so Nancy could wrap the bandages around her easily.

Her tattered shirt was barely hanging on around the arms and the front, the back completely gone and Nancy put the bandages over it so the shirt was held better onto her. She began wrapping each part of her back, starting from the bottom. As she worked, Steve focused on matching her breathing and thought about how he had failed her. She was his everything and from the moment they had been thrown into the weird adventures, he had promised himself he wasn’t going to let her get hurt, no matter what. He threw himself in front of her and the kids countless times so he could shield them from everything.

But he had fucked up and she had almost died—fuck, she still could die. He couldn’t afford any more mistakes—she couldn’t afford any more mistakes. If she died, he was going to lose his goddamn mind more than he already had when she first got hurt. He was going to keep her safe and get her back to the real world even if it cost him his life. He didn’t care if he had to fist fight Vecna and the Mind Flayer at the same time, she was going to be okay.

Steve was so deep in thought that he almost didn’t notice when she began to stir in his arms. She shifted and whined, her body riding that edge between being asleep and awake. Nancy glanced at Steve nervously, only halfway through the bandaging. Her pained noises slowly got louder as her mind woke up until she finally raised her head from off of his shoulder, groaning lowly.

“Steve?” she asked, voice broken and eyes wide with confusion as she looked up at him.

“Hey baby, we’re just trying to bandage you up, alright?” he assured her, his hand moving from the back of her head to caress her cheek.

“It hurts… fuck, it hurts.” she said with a grimace as Nancy tightened another bandage on her back.

“I know, babe. We’re gonna get you patched up and we’re gonna get the fuck out of here, okay?” Steve told her as he watched her eyes water up with more pain as each second passed.

“It’s burning Steve, my back is on fire…” she said, trying to contain her tears but failing. “It won’t stop, why won’t it stop?”

“Shh, shh, shh, babe. Nancy’s almost done, it’ll feel better when it’s wrapped. I’m so sorry, just a bit longer.” he replied and she buried her head back into his neck, sobbing quietly as he tried to keep her as still as possible, stroking her hair to comfort her.

“Almost done.” Nancy assured them as she ripped the cowl neckline off her shirt, having run out of bandages from Robin’s shirt.

Steve stroked her hair and mumbled comforting words in her ear as Nancy kept working, each one of her pained whimpers stabbing directly into his heart.

“It hurts. Make it stop, please.” she kept whispering, over and over again until the phrases were beginning to blend together into one long mumble. Nancy finally finished wrapping her entire back and stepped back so Steve could help her sit up on his lap. When she shifted ever so slightly, she bit down on her hand to keep from screaming and Steve knew he had to do something.

“Does anyone have anything for the pain?” he asked the group, hoping that one of the girls had something they used during their times of the month, but they shook their heads.

“I’ve got something…” Eddie said quietly. “But it’s pretty strong. She’ll be knocked out—heavy—for a few hours and when she wakes up the pain will be mostly relieved for a few hours more, although she’ll be pretty high the whole time.”

“Is that the only option?” Robin asked. “Sedating her?”

“I mean I have a pre-rolled joint or two but I don’t know if it’ll help with this much pain and it won’t last nearly as long.” Eddie replied.

“Give me the drugs.” Y/N said suddenly, carefully raising her head from Steve’s shoulder and turning to talk to Eddie, wincing and whimpering at every move.

“This shit can be dangerous and addictive as hell, I only have it because I sell it to a war vet who uses it for pain management.” Eddie cautioned.

“I don’t care. Give it to me.” she said, her voice strong and sure even as her muscles spasmed in pain in his arms.

“Babe-” Steve began but she shook her head.

“We’ll need to be quiet here so we don’t attract monsters, I can’t do that if I’m trying not to scream every time I move. If I’m knocked out, I’m silent and I can be thrown over someone’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes.” she told him firmly. “Either you sedate me or you leave me here and come back with help later.”

“That’s not fucking happening.” Steve growled.

“Then I need to take the drugs, Steve.” she said, looking up at him and leaning forward to rest her forehead on his, the tip of her nose teasing his as she looked him deep in the eyes. “You know I’m right, babe.”

“You are.” Steve admitted with a sigh. “Which only makes it more frustrating. And you’re not getting carried like a sack of potatoes, you’re precious cargo.”

“I love you, Steve.” she said, reaching up to cup his face in her hands, a tear slipping from her eye. She didn’t know whether it was from exhaustion, pain, fear, or sadness but she still smiled weakly at him anyways. “I’m so sorry it has to be like this.”

“I love you so much. Seeing you in pain feels worse than any actual pain I’ve ever felt. These bites feel like nothing compared to how I felt when I heard you screaming and couldn’t help. If I have to see you get hurt like that again, I’m going to lose my fucking mind. Let me protect you while you’re asleep, I won’t fail you again.” He replied.

“Steve, you didn’t fail-” she began but he cut her off.

“I did and I’m so sorry and I’m gonna spend every second from now on trying to make it up to you.” he said, his gaze intense and she leaned forwards to kiss him, a wordless reassurance of her love and forgiveness.

When they pulled apart, Eddie moved next to them and kneeled down. He had a small metal tin in his hand and they watched as he crushed a pill into a fine powder on the lid.

“It works fastest if you snort it.” he said and she nodded.

It took some instructions from Eddie on how to properly snort drugs but soon she had sniffed up all the powder. Almost immediately, she felt it hit. A wave of exhaustion hit her and suddenly it was almost impossible to keep her eyes open. She looked up at Steve’s worried face and she heard him whisper “Let me protect you, babe…” as he held her close and the world went dark.

“I think she’s waking up!” A voice called in the darkness and she forced herself to open her eyes, finding herself face-to-face with an incredibly close Dustin hovering over her.

“Wha-” She said and Dustin turned his head to yell again. “Yeah she’s definitely awake!”

A hand pushed Dustin’s face to the side and she saw Steve take his place at her side. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him and she reached out for him, his hand taking hold of hers as the other brushed her hair out of her face. She was lying on a couch, surprisingly soft and comfortable and when she looked around she found herself in Eddie’s trailer. It wasn’t the Upside Down version of his trailer but the real world one and she looked to Steve in confusion and disbelief.

“We’re back in the real world, baby. We’re okay.” he assured her with a genuine smile and she began to cry from happiness.

“You protected me…” she said and he nodded as she raised an arm to stroke the side of his face.

“We’re gonna be okay.” he said firmly, as much for himself as for her.

A sliver of light poking through the curtains of a nearby window caught her attention.

“It’s morning… that means according to our deal, it’s my turn to protect you.” she joked and Steve shook his head, unable to stop himself from smiling down at her.

“I’d like to renegotiate the terms of the deal.” he replied and she laughed softly before pulling him down to kiss her.

[widow-maximov]

Hi can I request the the boys of the OG6 acting like older brothers of Natasha and then literally interrogating ceo!reader or something bc they’re known for being a player?

Natasha’s just watching them and being embarrassed.

You don’t have to if you don’t want to:)

Anything for you

Pairing: Natasha x Reader

Warning: Language, fluff, angst :3

Summary: Your past impacted your future and others trust, are you able to change for her?

Word count: 3.7k

My requests are always open so feel more than welcome to pop in a suggestion for the next story :3

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

Being in a relationship has never been easy in your life, especially since you are the richest person alive, along side with Tony Stark. Since your dad retired and gave you the company you were doing pretty good for someone your age.

You were a 'player' or well that's what people did describe you, but you liked to call yourself adventurous, it was more of a stress relief type of hook ups never more never less.

Half of the time you thought that since you have money people will use you for it so you kept your cold bitch face and kept going with life.

There was a reason behind that thinking, you remember like it was yesterday. Back when you had less responsibilities on your head, you did date.

There was this boy, who was the most respected person in school, he always helped everyone and even turned you into a bit more social and nicer person to which you gained popularity.

You were practically swooned over this guy, not him as a boy but his personality, he 'loved' you or at least that's what you thought. Since you gained respect of practically every person in the school, there were rumours that your boyfriend only used you for the money.

He had a whole plan of how to get your money, by marrying you like he was going to stick with you for a very long time just so he can take your money and leave you dry.

At first you didn't want to believe it until you overheard his conversation with his friends, he was laughing and just being a dick about your whole relationship, telling them what you told him in secret.

You ended up getting revenge, since you were able to get away with most things, you actually punched him and outed him to the whole school with how he treated you, he was suspended and your father moved you to another school for 'punishment' but he really did you a favour.

Every since that you questioned any relationships after that, whether it was with girls or boys, to you they all seemed the same as your ex. So you stuck with being single for sometime until you accidently slept with someone at a party and that's where you picked up the habits of sleeping around.

It did kind of stop when you took over after your dad retired but as soon as you were doing a good enough job and providing the best solutions for the issues that occurred, you practically had many women in your office, no matter the time.

You tried not to mix work with your sex life which meant your workers were your workers and nothing else but there was an exemption, there was a woman, her name is Ava, who used to work along side of your dad and now she works along side of you, she become your casual hook up which sometimes interfered with work.

Since you always believed in good, Ava suggested for you to work with the Avengers, you agreed and reached out to Tony and offered a deal to help him with anything he needs but you wanted intel on everything they do which meant you were there pretty often.

When you first met the team, it was only a couple of them as most were away from a mission, they were a family that you wanted and lacked. Your father never was a feeling type of guy and your mother never really cared unless she didn't get her money.

The Avengers were different and even if you weren't physically fighting with them, you helped them out a lot since they ruined a lot of property to which you were quick to act to some point you were considered their teammate.

When you met this one particular team mate, you instantly knew she was different. You knew she existed from them being featured on the news but face to face with these people were so different. She was the reason you changed so much.

The more you started to spend time with the Avengers the more you were fascinated by her. Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, the Russian, the redhead, you preferred stunning but Natasha would have to do.

She was just as into you as you were into her and you wasn't hiding it, you were obvious which only encouraged her to continue her exploring. Everyone warned her about you but she was too blind and stubborn to care.

You stopped sleeping around when you started to hang around the team more often, which didn't go unnoticed by your own company, especially Ava who worked with you, was she jealous? Of course, to the point where she tried to ruin your chance with Natasha.

You were busy that day, like really busy, ever since you were taking things with Natasha at some pace, you would neglect your work and overload Ava, she didn't mind it because in return she wanted you and she was going to succeed.

She was all over you to which you never paid any attention, your mind was occupied with Natasha, you literally did everything to spend more of your time with the Russian rather than here being a CEO.

You was standing near the elevators, talking to one of your other business partners and Ava was next to you since she was in a way involved into your business.

Natasha was planning to visit you at work as you couldn't leave this time, she wants to watch you be a badass CEO, it turned her on when you bossed people around plus it was more time together so she didn't mind.

Natasha appeared out of the Elevator to which she was spotted by Ava, there was a smirk at her lips as she started her plan. When you and the business partner made a joke, she laughed as she placed her hand gently on your shoulder.

Natasha saw it all, she narrowed her eyes and waited for you to push her away, here where the problems comes. The company didn't know who you starting to change for, so when the next person saw Natasha and where she was looking, they made a comment.

"I wouldn't look so surprised, they had a thing on and off all the time, since Y/n took over, Ava has been sneaking around but we all know"

Natasha nodded with a fake smile and turned around to the elevator, it took everything in her to turn around because all she wanted to do was walk towards you and Ava and literally kill yous on spot.

When Natasha arrived back, the team noticed her sudden change in her behaviour.

"Nat are you okay?" Steve questioned first as he observed the redhead.

She stiffly nodded and proceeded to walk out to her room but Thor stopped her "Okay, you're not okay now tell us what's wrong."

Natasha faced her team mates "It's stupid"

Clint shook his as he sipped his drink "It's not stupid if it's upsetting you"

Tony crossed his arms "Okay, spill Romanoff"

Natasha sighed as she walked over to where they were and sat in between them "I'm having doubts"

Bruce's head popped out from underneath a table "Doubts about what?"

"About what's going on between me and Y/n.." Natasha hesitantly told them.

Steve's frowned at her "Why?"

"I went to visit Y/n at work today and I hate to admit it but I don't think the player habits have stopped, it just worries me that I am being maybe used.." As Natasha finished, she was looking anywhere else but them.

Tony pulled Natasha into his side "It's okay, you have us to protect you, also I think Fury was looking for you so you might want to check that out first"

She nodded and just when she was about to stand up, Tony pulled her into a hug and suddenly everyone wants to hug her to which they did. They had their turn whispering sweet things to Natasha to calm her a little.

"We are having a party later" Tony announced just before the Russian left, she nodded at him and as soon as she left, they turned to each other.

"Okay, here is the plan, the party is there to keep her occupied whilst we question Y/n. I'm not going to allow a player break her sweet heart" Tony spoke up again as he looked from Steve to Bruce.

"I will get the ropes ready..." Clint stated as if he done this before.

Thor looked at Clint confused "I want to ask but at the same time I don't"

Tony rolled his eyes "It doesn't matter, we are going to find out and then decided what we should do with Y/n if it's true"

They all nodded and did their secret handshake that Natasha wasn't apart off because it was dedicated to her to protect her. They split and went to fulfil their parts of this secret mission.

Tony alerted you of the party, Steve kept his eyes on the door to see if you arrive, Bruce takes care of Ava or any other people, Thor takes you away as he is very convincing and Clint prepares for anything that could somehow disrupt the interrogation.

You were worried, each time you would message Natasha there would be no reply, that never happened before which was even more worrying. Your first irrational thought was to sleep with someone to take off the stress but after taking a deep breath you knew this isn't a way to solve this, you needed to talk to Natasha.

As soon as you received a text from Tony about a party, there was some sort of relief in your mind, she was busy with preparing maybe that's why she couldn't answer you.

You told Ava about the party so she cancelled any late meetings, any parties that Tony Stark planned had everyone invited so since you were a business partner of Tony, your whole company was invited meaning Ava was going to be there.

You always had a emergency suit in your office for unannounced parties when you had been stuck at the company for too long. You was ready within minutes and was out the door alone as quick as possible, in hopes that you will talk to Natasha before she gets lost in the part world.

You rushed over and as soon as you gotten into the building Thor stood in your way "Oh hello Thor, sorry I can't talk I'm in a bit of a rush.."

He simply smiled at you "It's okay but Tony really needs you, it has to wait"

You were going to protest but he pulled you along with him, he was much more stronger than you so you had no chance and just followed him.

He didn't simply let you walk in, he pushed you inside as he locked the door behind him, you huffed as you turned to face the door that now was locked, you looked around and suddenly Tony with Clint emerged from the wall.

"Woah, that's cool" You had your brows raised at their new thing.

"So why was I shoved in here?" You questioned now with a serious face.

Clint walked over to you and before you could move away he had you tied with this new invention, you looked at him with shock and then back at the ropes, he placed you down on a chair as suddenly everyone else but Natasha walk into the room.

Now you are surrounded by 5 Avengers death staring you like you had killed someone that was related to them "What is happening?"

Tony had a serious face "You're going to tell us about Ava"

You frowned in confusion "What are you talking about?"

Steve had his arms crossed "We want to know what is going on between you and Ava"

The boys tried their best to keep this whole thing a secret but Natasha was a spy after all so she knew what they were doing, she didn't want to stop them because if it meant somehow getting out the truth without lies she was okay with it, obviously to some extent, she didn't want them to hurt you so she observed from the other room.

"Is there suppose to be something going on between me and her?" You questioned as you stared at Steve with a serious face.

Bruce walked closer as he bend down to your face "There is 5 of us and just you, think wisely before answering Y/l/n"

Were you scared? A little, he was right you were alone and no one knew you were here, but you knew they wouldn't do anything to you well at least that's what you'd like to think.

"I will ask again, what is going on with you and Ava?" Tony spoke as Bruce walked back to where he stood before.

"Nothing is going on between me and her, what makes you think that?" You questioned this time.

Clint sighed as he dropped his hands "Because we know you were involved with her sexually"

You narrowed your eyes "So you five kidnapped me, tied and now you're asking me if I'm still sleeping with Ava, acting like this is your business because?"

Tony scoffed "Because you're messing with our family and we don't like people who hurt our family.."

"I'm not messing with no one-" You were quick to disagree but stopped yourself when you realised who they were referring to.

"You mean Natasha..." You spoke but rather to yourself than them.

"I'm not messing with Natasha" You stated simply.

"Then why is Ava all over you?" Clint asked as he crossed his arms this time.

"How am I suppose to know, I'm not a mind reader"

Clint faced Tony "Okay, I believe Y/n"

You smiled slightly at Clint, but his comment only caused an argument, your eyes wondered around the room, that's when you noticed that the corner of the room is different half way up as if there was glass, not making it obvious that you knew.

You cleared your throat "Can I say something?"

They all looked back at you and nodded in sync "I know yous don't trust me but I will try everything to show you that I don't have bad intentions when it comes to Natasha, now please can you let me go I really need to go"

Tony narrowed his eyes "If you want to show us that we can trust you then tell us where you are in such a rush"

You swallowed hard, you didn't want Natasha to find out this way so you tried your luck again "I can't tell you, I need to go"

Tony inhaled sharply as he looked over at the boys "Well what do you guys say about a round of beers and come back here in an hour to see if Y/n will say something then"

Thor smirked "We can also put the heating on, making it a little too hot here for our little Y/n here"

They all nodded and there was a sense of panic across your face "Okay stop, I will speak"

They all had a smirk and you just continued "I am in a rush to talk to Natasha.."

"Why?" Steve spoke as he walked a little closer to you.

"Well I was planning to do this face to face not through the glass but I'm head over hills with Natasha and I was planning to ask her out but I guess now she knows" You sighed with slight disappointment.

Tony was the one frowning with confusion "What do you mean? Through glass?"

You looked over at the glass "If you really think you know Natasha then think twice, because this woman is a spy, she is behind that glass listening to this"

Clint face palmed himself "I knew this was too good to be true"

Tony pulled out his remote that controlled the glass, he turned off the camouflage and there she stood, with her arms crossed and an embarrassed look across her face, well it was a death stare but you could tell them apart.

As your eyes landed on her face, a smile found it way on your lips really quickly, she always did that to you and you loved that feeling even if you were slightly terrified of it but you would do anything for Natasha even deal with your own issues for her.

Clint walked over as he untied you and allowed you to stand up with a little whine from the pain that the rope left behind, you looked at the boys and they moved out of your way, you looked at them and gave them a small nod as you proceeded your way out.

"You better not hurt her Y/l/n or you'll regret it" Tony simply whispered but just enough so you heard him, you looked at him and nodded with a smile.

You walked out of the room and shutting the door behind you, taking a deep breath and finally looking to your right as your eyes were met with the Russian's green ones, she was staring at you from across and all you wanted to do was pull her into you.

Nothing else but her was on your mind, you walked over to her and just stared at her without saying anything. You didn't even know what words would be right to say so instead she took your hand and pulled you to a less visited balcony.

She stood couple steps away from you to which she spoke up first "Did you mean it?"

Her naturally raspy voice was music to your ears, so you simply nodded because words could betray you quite easily, she sighed with relief as she looked down.

The boost of courage coursed through your body, you took those couple steps towards her as you placed your hand under her chin, making her look up at you.

"Natasha I am sorry if I made you feel like you were nothing more than some cheap hook up because you aren't and you never will be." You started off with an apology still holding her chin.

"You mean so much to me, you out of everyone could make me want to change is a lot for me, I knew the second that I would do anything for you that I was falling for you" This time you held her face with both of your hands as your eyes started to gloss.

"I also never told you how stunning you look" You manged to chuckle out before letting tears slowly fall from your eyes.

She chuckled with you as she wiped your tear of your cheeks "Thank you"

"I'm also sorry for them acting like that" Natasha tucked a fallen hair behind your ear.

You shook your head "You don't need to be sorry because if you made you more at ease then I would even let them kidnap me everyday if it meant you would feel better"

A smile made its way on her lips this time "I think I'm falling for you too" She whispered it as she searched in your eyes for any emotions.

You smiled with a relief sigh "We can take this at any pace you want and if you ever doubt anything, talk to me I will even take a lie detector test for you Nat"

She giggled as she nodded, instead of replying she hugged into your chest with a smile across her lips, you let your arms snake around her and close your eyes at her warmth.

You pulled away slightly just enough to be inches away from each other lips, you looked into her eyes and with confirmation from both parts you kiss her, your eyes flattered shut as if to see if this wasn't a dream.

You pulled away and rested your forehead against hers as you looked into her eyes, completely being pulled deeply into this moment, not realising that practically everyone could see this, but as long as you had Natasha with you, you didn't care.

The next day, you made Natasha meet you at the company along with Ava, Natasha worried rushed to you as she spotted you. Her eyes were quick to narrow at Ava.

You looked over at Natasha and with a smile you walked over to her as you took her hand and walked back to where you were, this time Ava had her eyes narrowed at Natasha.

"What am I doing here Y/n/n?" The redhead spoke up as she looked over at you.

"This is my way of showing that you can trust me Natty" You looked back at her with a smile.

She was still confused, so you looked over at Ava as you held a letter out to her, she hesitantly took it and opened it as her eyes scanned the paper so quickly.

"You're moving me to another work place?!" She screamed as she looked back at you.

You nodded with a smile across your lips "Yes, I have heard from so many people that you have been complaining about getting here so I did you a favour and moved you closer to where you live"

You pulled Natasha into you but kept your eyes on Ava, who pointed at Natasha "This is your fault, if you weren't here I would still have my chance"

You rolled your eyes, the Russian was ready to knock her out but you held her by her waist pretty firmly as you spoke "Don't blame this on others, this is all on you, it might be hard to understand for you but I didn't want anything else from you, now go pack your stuff as your new place awaits you"

She scoffed as she stormed away, you waved her goodbye as you giggled along with Natasha, you looked over to the redhead at your side, she smiled at you and without words, she kissed you to which you accepted it with open arms.

You wanted everyone to know she was taken by you and you were taken by her. She made you happy and you would do anything to prove to her that she is the one who has your heart.

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

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Tag list: @eilarch, @wandanatblogs, @madamevirgo @diaryoflife, @theprassebox, @wymer, @marvelwomen-simp

[beauty-and-passion]

Silly fun challenge prompt: what languages do you associate with the Sides/what would be the 2nd language each Side learn?

For example I am a big fan of Hispanic (Spanish speaking) Creativitwins fanon. And c! Thomas too could've learnt Spanish in high school and the fact his love interest is hispanic too just makes perfect sense-

And in contrast to Hispanic twins I headcanon Janus as a francophone (French speaking) for two reasons: 1) it was still lingua franca around Victorian era, his aesthetic inspiration and 2) dividing American high school by Spanish class vs. French class is like causing Civil War (I was and still am a language nerd, so I learnt both languages, which was a mistake but the kind of mistake that was worth it when you think about it later)

German suites Logan since lots of famous philosophers are German. I associate Japanese or Korean with Virgil since those two are really dominant in the current subculture world (and maybe our emo could've been inspired and turn into E-boy - wow that sounds terrifying)

I don't have strong preference on Patton's but Italian sounds nice, since all those music and dessert and anything sweet are often from Italy. And maybe 'Orange' can be some language that sounds harsh like Russian, so he can murmur in that in sleep and scares everyone else

I know you're in Europe: 1) you use GMT and 2) Americans wouldn't care about Eurovision. So I wonder how you would think based on your European experience!

Oooh, I like this! As European Who Studied Languages, I definitely approve this and I'll gladly add my two cents about which languages the sides should learn.

_________

Roman: He canonically knows Spanish and that's perfect like that. Spanish is a romantic language, someone speaks Spanish and you can't help but swoon. It’s a great choice for the Side responsible for romance and passion.

_________

Remus: Remus isn't just intrusive thoughts, but there’s a very high chance he’s also responsible for Thomas' sexual urges. So, what is the language made for sex? You’re right, it’s French. French is sexy. You can say anything in French and bam, ✨sexy ✨.

"Je sors la poubelle." Sexy, isn't it? Well, I just said "I'm taking out the trash". See? Very sexy.

(French people, please confirm my words. We all know it’s true)

_________

Janus: Your points are incredibly valid and I love them. But if we should choose among all languages, I would love Janus to be one of the very few (extremely few) people in the world who can speak Latin.

I know Latin is a dead language, but it would be great - and not just because of the connection with his name.

Let’s consider that the other Romance languages, despite evolving from Latin, cannot entirely understand it, because they all changed a lot through the centuries after mixing with the Germanic ones. On the other hand, the Germanic languages (English, German, Swedish and so on) are part of a completely different group, only slightly influenced by Latin, so they cannot understand it.

In other words, Janus would speak a language that only sounds familiar - and maybe you can grasp a couple words here and there if you know a romance language, but the true meaning is hidden. What is he actually saying? Who knows. Is he actually cursing someone? Who knows. After all, do you understand Latin? Yeah, me neither.

If I have to pick a language that is still spoken today instead, I think I'll join you with French. Your points are valid and French is a very elegant language, fitting for Janus’ whole aesthetic. So yes, French could work.

_________

Logan: German is a great choice and you are absolutely right with your point about the philosophers. Also German is a language of harsh sounds and strict grammar rules - for example:

declensions that should be used accordingly for articles, adjectives and nouns

specific verbs for specific meanings

words made by putting together shorter words (like Haustürschlüssel.  Haustür means “front door”, Schlüssel means “key” -> this word means “front door’s key”)

sentences that should follow a specific construction, with parts of the compound verb after the noun and part at the end of the sentence. And secondary phrases also have a specific syntax and should always be introduced by a comma

In other words, it's a very organized language and I think it would fit Logan.

But also, considering that almost all words related to science and philosophy come from Greek, I think Logan should at least understand some Greek. As a treat.

(Also because Greek is another incredibly complicated language, so if someone has the patience to learn it, it’s definitely Logan.)

_________

Virgil: oh my gosh, I never thought about an eastern language for Virgil. In a way, it would be a very peculiar choice and I kinda like it. Japanese and Korean are extremely complicated languages, they have a very specific alphabet (I'm especially thinking about the Japanese one, that even asks for a specific direction to write words) and require a lot of work (and memory) to learn them.

But Virgil is also a poet and when I think of poets and sonnets my first connection is with the french ennui, le mal du vivre and especially Baudelaire and his works. Virgil would appreciate Baudelaire a lot. So French, again.

But hey, there’s too much French now. So I’ll pick the other european literature full of sadness: the russian one.

Russian is supposed to be a big scary language and its alphabet is weird and omg what if they're cursing us? But if you learn it a little bit, you’ll find out that Russian has a lot of soft/open sounds (due to a good use of vowels) and it's very poetic.

So the language itself is a bit like Virgil: he seems scary and evil at a first glance, but if you learn about him, he's actually kinder than he looks.

But never underestimate Russian, because just like Anxiety, fear is just behind the corner: you start learning it and wow, there is just one present tense, one past tense and one future tense? This is great, what a wonderful language!

And then, before you’ll realize it, you will find out that each verb has a “doppelganger” used for entirely different purposes AND there a gazillion verbs of motion and you will end up crying on the floor, because there are just too many verbs - and look, there are also one trillion particles you can put before these verbs and they give them EVEN MORE MEANINGS.

No, this isn't entirely based on my personal experience, what makes you think that.

_________

Patton: I have never thought about Patton learning another language, because English just fits him too well.

But when you proposed Italian... well, my heart just wiped out everything else. There is nothing here, only Patton speaking Italian.

So yes, Patton's second language should be Italian. No, it must be Italian. Because French is the language of sex, Spanish is the language of love, but if you want to declare your eternal love to someone, you use Italian. Do you want to marry someone? Italian. Do you want to tell your significant other how much you adore them? Italian. Italian has one million ways to express love and Patton should use them all with his kiddos.

And yes, Italian is also associated with warm people, warm places and good food, all things Patton deserves and should enjoy. So Italian is a big yes.

_________

Orange: since Orange is a mystery, I am a bit torn between these two languages:

1) Esperanto: This language is amazing, because it isn’t a natural language, born like all others, but it has been built by a man, who wanted to create an universal language in order to foster world peace and international understanding.

So this language has been created to be as simple as possible, with a very regular grammar (unlike all other natural languages) and its words all have references to other language groups (romance, germanic, slavic, indo-europeans, finno-ugric languages and so on).

And if you actually listen to it (especially if you know some latin languages) you will find it weirdly understandable. I found this video in particular and I was impressed by how strangely familiar esperanto sounds.

And... that’s it, I just think it would be kinda poetic that the last side knows a language that all others can use and understand.

2) A Greenlandic language. Why? Because they are insanely polysynthetic.

What does that mean? If in German you can make words by putting together other two/three words (like in the example I used before), in the Greenlandic languages you can build an entire sentence by putting together nouns, verbs, articles and everything else. All together in one single word, whose meaning can be translated with an entire sentence in another language.

Do you want an example? Here is an example from Wikipedia: tuntussuqatarniksaitengqiggtuq.

Yes, this is a word.

This word is from the Yupik language and means "He had not yet said again that he was going to hunt reindeer.". And this word is made of:

tuntu- (= reindeer)

ssur-  (= hunt)

qatar- (future tense)

ni- (= say)

ksaite- (negative)

ngqiggte- (= again)

uq  (3rd.sing.IND)

Is this insane? This is fucking insane. Do you want to be scared? This is real fear. What the heck. How. Why.

You know what? This is perfect for Orange, I’ll leave Esperanto to Thomas. Orange deserves to be this scary. I can already see the other sides quiver before him.

_________

And so, here are my guesses! If someone has other ideas, feel free to add yours and tell us why, so we can all have a nice discussion :D

[autumn-writes]

Can i get komeada with a Fem! S/o who willingly Claims they're a talentless recourse student, but when he reads her Files later, it turns out she purposely Lied, and is in fact non other than the ULTIMATE hope

certainly! i've been thinking of how to write this request for a while, and with a lot of changes of decision, i decided to make this a one shot. sorry this took a while, hope you're still with me nonnie.

Hidden Hope

Nagito Komaeda x Reader

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Nagito had always thought you were suspicious, ever since the very first day he met you.

"My name is S/O S/N. I... Unfortunately do not have a talent, but I hope to work well with you all."

Confusion. That was all I he could feel about your presence. Why was a talentless person put with a group filled with symbols of hope? Sure, he didn't consider himself a part of the group but at least he had a talent, despite it being trashy.

The announcement of the killing school trip had been a shocker to everyone. Everyone was forced to live their lives on this trip on edge, in fear of the next second possibly being their final.

Nagito didn't know how to act, but he certainly wasn't going to treat you nice. I mean, what worth do you have, possessing no talent that could make you a harbinger of hope for the future? You don't deserve the kindness he would treat others with. Not at all.

The first trial had arrived fast. The death of Byakuya Togami, the Ultimate Progeny has happened. Nagito, along with a certain someone was aware of all the things that happened. After all, the Progeny's death was caused by them.

Things seemed hopeless, the situation not going well at all. Clues could barely be scraped and as for the truth? Everyone seemed like they had been thrown into a sea with a metal weight around their leg as they desperately tried their best to swim upwards and survive. Everything was going terribly wrong. This trip wasn't supposed to—

And that's when you spoke up.

"You all can't fall into despair so easily! The truth, we're close. We have to be. Don't lose hope!"

There. The phrase "don't lose hope" left your lips.

Nagito sneered, basically mocking you of your words.

"And what exactly would talentless student know of hope? Please, you probably don't know what you're talking about."

Everyone fell silent at Nagito's words. It wasn't that they agreed with him, they just couldn't—

"If I know one thing, Komaeda, it's that I know hope better than anyone else."

Since that time, your words have been engraved in Nagito's mind.

"If I know one thing, Komaeda, it's that I know hope better than anyone else."

Something was up with you. The words that you spoke to him, they were filled with so much... Seriousness. It didn't seem like you were messing around when you said that.

Trial after trial had passed, classmates and friends slowly falling like flies. Until, the fourth.

Nekomaru Nidai, who had been turned into a robot, was murdered. And the culprit? One of the students, of course. That's how this game works.

To be of use, Nagito had decided to go through the Final Dead Room, a room where a game of life or death stay present. You either make it out alive, or your corpse rots inside.

The Final Dead Room was no match for the male's deduction. He had gone through the escape room as if it were a breeze.

The door of the room opened, revealing a revolver and some bullets. Ah, so he was supposed to play Russian Roulette.

Not wasting a second, the male loaded the gun with 5 bullets and pointed it to his head before pulling the trigger, despite Monomi's desperate claims for him to stop. Luckily for him, he survived.

Surviving the game at the highest difficulty, Nagito received two prizes from the bear. One being knowledge of funhouse's structure, and second being a file containing all of the students' information.

'This is it,' Nagito thought. He could finally learn the truth. He could finally learn what your talent was. He doubted your claims before, and he sure as hell still didn't believe in them now.

You were mysterious and suspicious from the get-go. There was just no way you could be talentless. The hope that shines in your eyes... It's even more remarkable than the symbols of hope he had come to worship. There was just some things about you that he knew he didn't know,

and he was determined to find out what they were, starting with your true talent.

He had opened the file, his eyes immediately scanning the pages littered with words that had been absorbed by his mind. Each new discovery only becoming worse and worse.

Leaving the Octagon, Nagito used the secret passage that had been one of his gifts and made his way to Grape House where you, as well as a few others resided for the time being.

Nagito was still flabbergasted from his discoveries. The fact that he and the rest were Remnants of Despair, that they had been using their talents for the despair of mankind, ruining the future. He had found out that Hajime was talentless from the Reserve Course, too.

But that wasn't the most surprising. When he had gotten to your information, he had made a pause before proceeding to read, the words inked on the papers burning into his mind.

'S/O S/N, also known as the Ultimate Hope. They were the only student who had managed to escape the brainwashing performed by the mastermind of it all. S/N, despite doing their best, had failed to pull their classmates out of the Ultimate Despair's hands. Up till today, they most certainly have not given up. They will not stop until Hope is restored within each and every student. At least, that was stated by them.'

Upon reading the information underneath your student profile, Nagito could only think of how he's gotten everything wrong.

He had treated the Ultimate Hope horribly, while the Remnants of Despair had been praised and held up high.

Worthless. Mere dirt on the bottom of your shoe. That was what he was. He'd do anything to make it up to the Ultimate Hope, anything. And that is when his mind had started to think craftily.

You had made observations on things that had changed noticably. You had made note of Nagito's change of attitude directed towards you.

He seemed to worship the air you breathe and the ground you walk on. He helped you during the fourth trial, disregarding everyone else and even throwing his malice at them.

What was up with him? Why the sudden change? You made another note to confront him about it soon.

So now here you are, resting on your bed. You were thinking of how to approach Nagito about what had happened when all of a sudden, a knock on your door disrupted your thoughts.

Looking up at the clock you had, it was 10:00 in the night. Nighttime, to be more precise.

Cautiously, you walked to the door and opened it, and on the other side, you saw the man that you were just thinking about.

Raising an eyebrow at him, he made a motion as if asking you if he could come in, to which you obliged. He had entered your cottage, clutching what seems to be a file.

He took a few steps in, before dropping down to his knees. The file in his arms opening conveniently to the page where your information is written.

Your eyes widened upon catching sight of what was written underneath your profile. So he knows...

"Why didn't you tell anyone? You didn't have to hide anything, S/N. If you had said you were the Ultimate Hope, I— I would've kissed your boots and let you kick dirt in my mouth-! Ha— AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Insane. That was one word to describe him as of now. Nagito looked up at you, the swirling insanity in his green-gray eyes being something you were familiar with already.

He clutched onto your arm, as if he were steadying himself before hoisting himself off the ground. He was still wheezing, laughter not dying down at all.

"You are the Ultimate Hope. The person who I admire. For the Hope of mankind, you must- you must escape! But don't you worry sweet, precious hope. I'll be sure to get you out of here. I could let you kill me—! I'll take them all down with me! You'll get out of here, I'm sure of it.

Even if it's the last thing I do."

You are hope hidden from the rest. The one true hope that can save everyone from despair. It didn't matter to Nagito if he had to die. It didn't matter to him if he had to take them down with him. You were needed. After all, you were...

the hidden hope of mankind. you mustn't die. even if a few sacrifices are made, you must live on.

finally finished this. this took so long anon i'm so so sorry ;;-;; i wasn't contented with the previous endings i've written, so i kept re-writing this till i was finally satisfied with how this went.

i hope you enjoyed this! do tell me if this wasn't to your liking! i'll try my best to re-write it if it wasn't satisfactory. do take care of yourself and stay safe! eat your meals, stay hydrated, and refrain from overworking yourself.

[hypnoticxopoison]

I know this is gonna set your minds on fire, but.... You can appreciate Zoey Deutch’s acting in the VA movie and like her for what we got and still acknowledge that the character was white-washed and therefore Zoey was not the best choice.  You can appreciate Sisi Stringer’s upcoming performance as well and hope she nails the part acting-wise and acknowledge that the erasure of Rose’s real ethnicity isn’t what we were hoping for when we hoped for a nonwhite actress for Rose. It’s possible to love her and love her acting as the character and acknowledge the erasure. It can go both ways. Things aren’t always so black and white. You can like and not like both, not like either, or like one and not the other. Differing opinions are not a personal attack and a wish for book accuracy does not equal racism, nor does the reverse. Vampire Academy was published at a time when Middle Eastern representation in American storytelling was not exactly favorable. I have known people throughout my years in the VAFamily who have expressed their appreciation and love for the fact that a character with a Middle Eastern background was a protagonist in an American story. And that she was a badass, heroic, FEMALE character at that! She means a lot to them for that reason. Of course they wanted to see a Turkish actress get the role. Of course they wanted to see that representation on screen and they are allowed to feel erased and disappointed. People of any race, color, sexuality, and background are allowed to view it in this light too because it’s a valid opinion. I can’t rule out racism of every single member of the fandom, of course not, but not liking this casting does not equal hatred for black people in every person who is feeling unsure or who straight up feels the way I just described. So cut the crap with that.  The other side is valid too. The cast is beautifully diverse and that’s a really good thing. Do I think known racist Julie Plec is doing it for selfish reasons rather than the right ones and do I worry about how the cast will be treated with her at the helm? Absolutely. All opinions are valid. I’m happy for those of you who are leaping into this without reservation and feel nothing but excitement. I’m happy for those of you who are looking forward to it. I don’t think you’re wrong. I don’t think you’re racist. I don’t think you’re evil. I just don’t agree with you. For all I know, Sisi will be flawless acting wise and she’ll win the entire fandom over and we’ll all feel blessed to have her... BUT the above opinion is still valid. You can like and not like something at the same time and I hope those of us who feel dread and fear that our favorite story is going to be butchered get proven wrong. I genuinely do. I would love to love it. For those of you who don’t see the racebending as erasure and who are simply plain happy with the casting, then you know what? I’m happy for you too. You do you. If it wasn’t for the fact that Rose’s ethnicity plays such an important role in the plot, I’d be right along side you. Rose Hathaway as a black woman would be unstoppable and amazing if it weren’t for that. I’d love her just as much as the rest of you, but like some, I have my reservations for the reasons described here.  As for Dimitri.... Ever since the Cold War, Russians have been the villains of American stories. Dimitri, the hero, is a rarity. Look at the most recent perpetrator of this: Stranger Things. It’s STILL a popular storytelling trope in the US. Of course Russian fans and fans who view Rose’s casting in this light are confused and disappointed by this casting as well. For all we know, this actor is incredible and he’ll have the perfect Russian accent. For all we know, he’s been training for months to perfect it. But the point is, is that we know virtually nothing about these actors and people are allowed to feel reservations and worries when it comes to characters that mean something to them. I think, if the actor masters a Russian accent and they don’t change him to an American, as is the rumor, then... that’s fine. I think? A Russian fan would know better than me about that.  At the end of the day, I personally won’t be watching it. I can’t afford another streaming service and I don’t trust Julie Plec with the actual writing as far as I can throw her. Even if the first season is good and it hooks everyone in, I feel pretty confident it’ll be downhill from there. Based on the character descriptions released today... I’m kinda thinking it’s gonna suck for people who want book accuracy and not a loosely based on the source material fanfiction. Some people don’t care as much anymore and they don’t mind new twists. Some people do. And both views are okay.  So VA fandom, let’s knock it off. Love it or hate it, find your people. Rant with them or celebrate with them and leave the other side alone. Their opinions don’t impact you personally. So just follow people who feel the same as you do and don’t drag yourselves down like this. We’re all adults in this fandom by now, so... let’s act like it. 

[sugar-petals]

Club Daemon (m)

PAIRING. merman!baekhyun x vampire!reader

↳ PLOT. You join a club of half-demons all hailing from different supernatural species — and find an unexpected love.  

↳ WORDS. 27k

TAGS / WARNINGS ⚠️ eventual smut, jealousy, explicit bloodsucking sex (mutual oral, vaginal), fangs kink, pining, groping, femdom!reader, angst/action, neck fixation, rough sex, fantasy au

The room is filled with smoke, but not from any cigarettes. Somewhere around here, or so you’ve been told, must be the entrance to actual hell. 

A gloomy spiral staircase headed for the core of the earth, kind of rusty and gleaming in red, fog everywhere, you get the idea. But so far… that’s none of your business. And either way.

The architecture in the part of the mansion you were invited to elegantly pools into a massive door of brass and copper. An embossed piece, amazingly sculpted — a hundred years old or more.

The center depicts a translucent emblem that appears to be strangely double-headed. Two facial profiles. One gazing east, the other, west. What exactly that’s supposed to mean: You have no idea, but you get the gist. Some kind of Greek mythology visual going on there. 

Doesn’t look like hell, does it.

You approach the door with slowed steps, tug your blazer into a comfortable fit at the lower hem. Had a mint? Check. Documents? Check. Posture? Semi-check. Adjusting necessary. Back straight, firmer walk. Done. Hopefully. As long as you don’t have to take those reckless stairs down south, you’re surprisingly ready for this. And what kind of preparations can you take for this kind of encounter in the first place anyway.

Beside the door, a concierge behind a luxurious, bulky table lifts his golden-framed glasses. They’re exceptionally thin and round, making their wearer appear like a wise, yet prying owl. Mister Mark Lee, apparently, going by how Taemin described him to you. 

Oh God, Taemin’s pointers saved your life finding this place. He’s been so forthcoming and took the time to explain as much as he could. The moment makes you reminisce a little. Your eyes lose focus.

Meanwhile, fully in the moment, the conscierge seems to cloud himself in the mystery of his dark green suit without any words. A man as groomed as this very Victorian penthouse. And this very borough, and this very carpet you’re standing on. Greeting you with a nod as understated as can be. 

It’s not like he’s treating you like air — he simply keeps the certain reserve you’d expect from a nocturnal bird. Or so it seems. That you’d be scrutinized you already expected, but this way feels a bit uneasy in the chest. If you’re the mouse to the owl, you want to move on past that door as fast as you fucking can.

You try to continue standing straight and hand him your letter as inconspicuously as possible. Oh, that damn piece of paper that turned your life around. A little ‚good evening‘ barely leaves your throat and Mister Lee presses a button underneath the table top after gazing over the document nearly thrice. Following his insistent eyes, you leave your phone on the table altogether, and now have virtually nothing to hold onto. You opt for putting your hands in your navy blue pants pockets. If that’s any good around here, staying a little hellishly casual. 

‘A very good evening indeed,‘ is what Mister Lee’s eyes seem to reply.

The door shifts open with a dull, booming sound. Very well then. You stagger inside toward what’s hopefully behind it — suddenly feeling so terribly exhausted. Hazy. You don’t know how it hit you. So many scents. Impressions. Movement. Space. Eyes. Heartbeats. 

You try hard to focus on the first candle you can see around, and you do find one, and it does ground you. After their split-second delirium, your feet anchor on the carpet now, and the scenery pulls you back to breathing. Now, the bigger picture becomes a lot clearer. 

There are several men settled everywhere across the room that opens before you so luxuriously. All dressed in the finest of garments and polished shoes, donning the most annoyingly impeccable haircuts on top of that. Everything about this room screams dignity, and haughtiness, and a hefty bank account. 

But you can’t deny another, stronger hunch. The presence of one gentleman in particular sends a chilly feeling down your spine. You can’t tell who it is now. You just know that somebody here is very different. Dangerously so.

Between armchairs, chandeliers, blood-filled cups and side tables, you spot arrangements of night-blooming jasmine and daffodils. Large and opulent, really catching your eye with their elegant trumpet shapes. 

Perhaps, and you really have no clue whether that’s a good theory, to suggest that however solid teak and mahogany this entire interior might be, there is still life and scent in it. But it’s all… so carefully curated. Too deliberate to be authentic in the very least, and that’s what is making you tense up so much. You know very well that nobody in this room, if it weren’t for this meeting, would be preoccupied with flowers. Except maybe Taemin. But he’s half-elven, so that doesn’t count. Elves love jasmine.

Meanwhile, you suspect that the cups with blood were purposely brought in to catch you off guard pretty much right away. To test your self-control, get you startled, or lord knows what. Power games in this club, you’d not be surprised. But the scent really is so overbearing. You become all light-headed. Whatever they set up for you here, it’s already working. You feel like falling asleep in the middle of the damn night. 

The fumes, and the candles, and the daffodils—

„Wong Yukhei,“ a voice finally pierces through the mist inside your brain. 

You perk up. It belongs to a figure seated in the deeper middle of the room. A dark-haired man, noticeably tall and baritoned, with full lips, immense shoulders. In fact, a frame to behold all tailored in matte black. Down to the pointed oxford shoes, laced up in a very brisk way as if someone pulled a corset very tight.

„Yes—?“

„Half-lycan. Club president. Have a seat.“

Now you know why he speaks first.

It’s like you’re frozen on the spot. Judging by how muscular he is underneath that very suit, especially around the upper body, you don’t want to catch a glimpse of what happens when the moon says hi. Half werewolf it is. No wonder his hands are huge like paws. You don’t have to count one and one together to know that this guy could go casual beastmode and rip the room’s door in half.

„A... alright.“

Stammering like a fool isn’t something you planned but comes out as a sheer reflex. To distract from the awkward tone, you resort to looking around. You wonder if the club is in full attendance. Because who knows, they could await some more people like you later on. There are actually quite a few empty seats to choose from. A dozen, perhaps a bit more. Each with a filled cup on a table, right to the brim, one more flavorful than the other.

Since the president didn’t gesture towards any seat in particular, you find yourself having to make an intuitive choice. Whether that’s some werewolfey ‚where does she put up her territory?‘ personality quiz or whatever… is unimportant because your nose is already telling you precisely where to sit anyway. In fact, obnoxiously so. It’s itching like crazy at most of the scents except one. You realize — at least that you can rely on. There’s that one cup you want to be close to. Ignoring it would probably torture you for the entire night so you give into it.  

Taking the empty chair at the chimney fire on the right side of the room comes naturally. And: With several eye pairs resting very firmly on you. But your attention is elsewhere already. The blood in the goblet of this particular table really does smell like the most delicious thing. There’s something magically attractive about the consistency. You can feel with your whole body just how amazingly juicy and welcoming the drink is. For a strange reason, it seems like it’s almost iridescent. You’ve never seen that before. Everyone in the room has the current pleasure of watching you being smitten by a fucking drink.

There’s no way they didn’t see you lick your lips like a first class pervert either.

Whatever first impression you’re giving them, it’s one that makes a part of you mentally run out the door again. Poor Taemin thought you were a promising invitee. You feel bad for disappointing him already. Slave to your instincts, how on earth are you even supposed to sit here in the finest and highest of company. Creating sexual tension over a glass of blood in a millionaire’s club or whatever.

Still, against all odds, the other part of you glady reclines in your seat, sleazy like a retired Russian oligarch on his yacht. Because that means: Smelling that heavenly scent up close. Hell, just fuck everything else. It’s the most gratifying thing you’ve come across. Did they brew you a damn magic potion or something? 

You have a hard time snapping back to the conversation and realize everyone is still intently looking at you admiring your cup as if it’s a prime time television event with Zac Efron in it. Which you now force yourself to break from. Not so gladly this time. You really want to have a sip, but Yukhei’s pressing gaze demands you to make your move. You wonder why his eyes are so livid, but again realize that he probably doesn’t need the moon to be wolf-like, does he.

„So you were the one who came up with inviting me, then?“ you say, and the words come out much more bluntly. It surprises you. Since you skipped the introduction and small talk altogether, maybe your mouth thought, why not strike a direct tone. Just being in the vicinity of something so mouthwatering makes you feel on top of the world out of literal nowhere. You’re about to lose your train of thought again that Yukhei fervently shakes his head.

„It was Baekhyun’s suggestion. A terribly daring one I thought,“ he says. „Thank him that we agreed to meeting you in person. In fact, he was very adamant we’d do so.“

You look around the assembly, hoping to find clarity about whoever prompted the invitation letter. Since nobody seems to put anything forth, you quiz yourself on who of these gentlemen looks like a Baekhyun, and why nobody is reacting. Everyone’s literally sitting there like marble statues. 

According to Taemin, getting an invitation to Club Daemon is not only something that excludes the general public, but also merely a fleeting ‚rumor‘. Not even a neighborhood legend if it came down to it. Because on more official papers, this guild does not exist. Whoever wanted to invite you was indeed taking a notable risk — to the president’s nuisance, on top of that.

Oh yeah. Now you’re at the edge of your seat.

„Eh. I’m afraid Baekhyun cannot meet you in this particular setting,“ Yukhei breaks into a lop-sided smirk. You’re shocked he’d pull a dismissive face like that. So openly, like he simply doesn’t give one damn all of a sudden. Strangely enough, it still doesn’t take away from just how nobly he’s dressed. It’s seriously messing with your head. Or is it the goblet?

„So, this setting, um—“

You look like Yukhei just spoke in a different language now. Stifled laughter among the guild members. At least they’re reacting now. That’s progress. But you’re even more confused and stuff your hands back into your pockets.

„See. Carpets are typically not Baekhyun’s favored grounds. He’s half-merman,“ Yukhei continues, very much composed in his seat now just as before. And it finally registers.

Oh man.

You can’t spot some giant water tank in this room or anything of that kind. There’s no way he could just casually hang out here. Of course he can’t greet you in the club. Sweet Jesus. You have too much blood and flower scent around you.

„But not to worry. You’ll get to meet your sweet benefactor,“ Yukhei leans back, the smirk growing even wider. „Baekhyun can speak to you in the club bathroom from time to time. If he’s not out there playing around in the bays like the kid he is.“

„I see? Uh...“

You shift back and forth in your seat. Even if your brain somehow tries to piece that information together, keeping your eyes off the chalice is so hard all over again. 

You can’t lie, it’s even starting to get you hot and bothered from the toes up. Gritting your teeth is all you can do not to gasp out loud. Literally, you’re one moan away from semi-public indecency. That is, if human law applies to this room. Going by how everyone is so keen to see you react, it probably doesn’t. Your ears are telling you that pretty much everyone is holding their breath right now. Untouched orgasm at 7:30 PM? Wasn’t on your plan either. But looks like you’re headed for it. You wonder if Yukhei has been planning to set you up for this and—

„We didn’t put this up to confuse you, Y/N. Please feel free to drink. We want you to feel welcome here,“ a second, innately friendly voice addresses you now, parting the silence like a vintage knife through warm butter. It’s much softer than Yukhei’s, as if laced with honey.

Immediately, you recognize the sound. It is Taemin.

Seated to Yukhei’s far left in a flawlessly upright posture. Blond and lavish, dressed in a type of brocade tux. It seems to be a mix of burgundy and golden pipings in the fire light, but you could be wrong. With good reason and regard to most members present, the room is kept very dark. In fact, the atmosphere couldn’t be any more controlled. Nevertheless — finally reuniting with him is such a relief. You already want to thank him for averting a full-on catastrophe.

„Taemin! It’s good to see you again,“ you finally break the tension. Your tone loses all discomfort, your face brightens. Taemin gently bows in response. His poise lights up the room, and you even manage to detach from the chalice.

„The pleasure is ours. It’s great to see you again as well.“

You recall. The memory is still so vivid. He was the one who brought you the letter in the late evening. You were sitting on your balcony scrolling through your phone feed and boom. There he was, sitting — even seemingly glowing or whatever it was — in a cherry tree. With his pointy ears and an envelope for you, the exact invitation Baekhyun had suggested. As far as you can remember, he’s been elected as the Club’s vice president very recently.

Taemin explained a lot of the club’s incentives to you on the balcony. Even if you did manage to drop your phone in shock at his appearance, his open approach had you packing up your bags for the mansion in a matter of two days. Seems like the club knows who to send when they don’t want to intimidate possible recruits. If Yukhei showed up in that dark suit and the low brow, you probably would’ve turned into a bat and headed for the forest. Well, or something like that. Meanwhile, Taemin feels like you’ve been familiar for decades.

„Do drink. It is handpicked for you!“

„Thank you, Taemin,“ is all you can say, and turn back to your drink with shaky hands. Finally. And well. If Taemin offers it, it can’t be wrong. It’s far too late to ignore it anyway. You already grab the base of the chalice like you’re holding on to dear life.

The first sip is so hasty, Yukhei almost has to laugh out loud. Or is it a laugh? Taemin frowns right at him, but you’re too busy chugging to notice. Hawthorn, lotus, apples, water lily, chestnuts and vanilla. So many nuances, too little tastebuds and too little words to describe it. You’ve never tasted blood of such a quality. For free. Not one pause to breathe, it just goes down like fine liquor.

Everything in your body starts to feel completely alert. Whoever this blood belongs to, whatever is going on, this is the most thrilling feeling you’ve experienced in a while. It’s like floating inches above your seat. Your face is feeling all heated as if the chimney fire burns your cheeks. Your skin is normally pretty cold and stays that way if you think about it. 

At the same time, you’re surprisingly refreshed on the inside. The blood left a minty trace on the back of your tongue. You know the men are watching you, but you can’t help but ride the high of the taste for a few seconds with your eyes closed. Once the rush is fully over, you slack in your seat. Open your eyes. And sigh out. Goddamn. 

If that means to feel welcome here, then you’re more than convinced. Taemin knows how to serve an aperitif. Everything about your body feels relaxed. You bet your pupils are more blown than Yukhei’s dick in his freetime going by how he sits and watches your reaction. Manspreading is an understatement. Wolfspreading is the new thing. Literally, what on earth happened. He’s glowering at you like you just stole the keys to the glitzy silver sportscar that’s parked in front of the mansion and without a doubt must be his. Your eyes aren’t deceiving you even if the light is so dim: He’s straight-up gotten all angry to the point of gritting his teeth.

But there’s also something that tells you he’s afraid.

„Now, you probably want to know why we’re interested in you, right,“ Taemin gently continues once you put the empty chalice down and make very needed use of the napkin already placed next to the cup. Heartbeat: Speed of a bullet train arriving at a station.

„I’m starting to see why.“

Most of your exhaustion is actually… gone. Out of the blue. You’re feeling much more perceptive, much faster in every move. Maybe Edward was right with his personal brand of heroin. You just never knew because you had 5 Pounds 50 blood from TESCO’s every day until now. So that’s that.

„We didn’t find a novice in twenty years,“ Taemin says. „Nor a half-vampire for that matter.“

In passing, he ushers a slender-looking butler towards your table. Casually, as if he did it a million times already. So far, using the shade of the lighting, the butler had been blending in with a velvet curtain until now. You ask yourself if you’ve actually noticed him or not. You can’t clearly tell which is strange. But then again, going by the course of events until now, not really.

„Right,“ you reply, trying to focus on Taemin — without much success. The butler simply looks too striking. He uses a large carafe to refill what probably measures up to another quarter liter into your chalice. He looks at you with sheer intent, it’s Yukhei’s gaze times ten, almost like it’s bundled into a lazer. Instead of being excited about the refill, you find yourself trying to desperately decipher the butler’s look. It’s not wolfy this time, that’s for sure. It’s something far, far different. It’s something deeply scary.

The butler lingers. It takes five seconds too long for him to return to the curtain. There’s that feeling again. That hunch from before when you came in, so much stronger now. You’re shivering. The man looks so serious in his crisp red suit, with the pin stripes and a golden pocket watch at his lapel. His aura is so freezing cold.

„Meaning, our guild could urgently use a new addition,“ Taemin keeps on speaking, with Yukhei closely listening to how he puts his words. In the meantime, the butler stands completely still in the dark, merging with the curtain almost completely again. But you can tell his eyes are on you. His frame looks so skinny at a distance, but you can tell he’s much stronger than that. Lord knows Yukhei might not be the only one who could break the door in half.

You hold on tight to the napkin in your lap. Where you thought you’d feel elated, you’re all sober now.

„Twenty years is a long time,“ you comment, a lot more dryly this time.

Even in a club where nobody ages by human standards, this could be quite a frustration. Looking around, you begin to understand why the invitation was such an urgent matter and there are many more empty seats. All the members look very established and at home to say the very least. Nobody here appears to be a novice.

„It is,“ Taemin replies. „You can see why we wanted to talk to you.“

„Yes. I can. Thank you for considering me. It was a bit out of nowhere but, I guess there’s no way to do it differently.“

Taemin nods. Meanwhile, Yukhei remains visibly displeased in his center seat, with his expression growing much darker by the minute. You can’t tell whether he didn’t like you downing the blood so fast like a post-diet Dracula or how Taemin explained all of this to you now. You don’t have to wonder for a long time, though.

„That we expand our assembly with a half-vampire out of all possibilities— was not my idea,“ Yukhei taps his fingers onto the lion-shaped armrests of his chair. The poor fellas probably have a hard time carrying his frame, fragile as they look. Taemin, on the other hand, is as nonchalant and petite as you got to know him. Like a feather on his seat, he sways his torso ever so slightly while he listens. Then, he reaches over to pat Yukhei on the shoulder with a wide, reassuring smile.

„But you were still delighted that Baekhyun found someone, didn’t you.“

„You make it sound like a public holiday. Eh, we’re recruiting, Taemin.“

„You didn’t take too long to agree to sending the invitation at all. Back when Kai joined, you needed five months to say yes. And he’s half-lycan himself.“

„Because Jongin was a grade A stupid bastard… and still is,“ Yukhei darts an even lower gaze to a particularly shaded corner of the room. Whoever this guy Kai is, he’s sitting right there and grins his life away. Now that you set your eyes on him, you’re about to piss your fucking pants.

Even behind a particularly large array of jasmine bouquets, his silhouette looks the most powerful out of all the club members despite him not being as tall as Yukhei. Where you would’ve called the Yukhei ‚strong‘, Kai was first and foremost athletic — head to toe, with a looming frame. He’s kept silent for the entire time, but he sure listened well.

„It’s a competition, Yukhei,“ the silhouette crosses his legs, laughing. „Whoever is bastardly enough is qualified for being the club president. Sounds like I’m headed right for it. But you’re also knee-deep. Knee-deep, I’m telling you.“

Kai’s voice is much lighter than you thought it would be, but the way he speaks commands instant respect. Yukhei’s answer is a mixture of a growl and a huff, but it’s so blended together that it’s becoming hard to distinguish to your reeling ears. All you know is that the atmosphere in the room feels like a string ready to snap.

So that’s what half-lycans are all about, then.

In case they’re about to fully out-bastard each other, you take another sip to distract yourself. You hear your ears pulse even more. The blood really is delicious and takes your mind off. To your surprise and relief, Yukhei squarely turns to the assembly with a much more point-blank attitude in his movement now. Kai remains entirely ignored.

„That she’s not part of a vampire clan and we couldn’t find possible members for so long is the only reason she’s here, that’s all.“

„Enough a reason,“ Taemin smiles even wider, and puts more soothing into his phrasings. Kai’s unsettling presence doesn’t seem to faze him the very least. 

„We’d be happy to have you join us if you’re inclined,“ he now addresses you again. „I’m sure our talk about the training and formal things will bore you, though. I reckon you want to be introduced to your kind first.“

„Oh…“

Your kind.

That explains a lot. A whole damn lot, to be exact. You can’t help but suck in air, but it’s less awkward than you thought. In fact, your reaction brings some life into the room. Looks like everyone has anticipated this. Yukhei’s eyes narrow. Kai seems even more alert. You feel like a lab rat new to the cage.

„You felt his presence when you stepped in, didn’t you,“ Taemin asks, his head tilting a bit to the side.

You did. The half-elf looks confirmed in his statement.

„It’s him, right,“ you direct your eyes toward the curtain, but don’t dare to lift your gaze any further.

The butler.

He’s been sticking out like a sore thumb.

You felt him since the very first moment.

„Yes,“ Taemin says.

Your suspicion, or rather, what your body told you from the beginning with every shiver and every fiber, was entirely right: With an interpretation you couldn’t grasp just then. But now you do. Your intuition didn’t lie.

„Ma’am. Pleased to meet you. Lee Taeyong,“ the butler strikes a surprisingly fluid introduction. You freeze up again. It’s very unlike his stiff positioning, stepping forth from his usual waiting place so his face is visible to you in candle light entirely at a bit of a distance. Lee Taeyong. His face… really is sharp.

„I was expelled from my clan 80 years ago,“ he disposes of his tray to speak freely now. His voice is so deep, it almost resonates in your ribcage. But then, you see something vulnerable in him. You don’t know what it is.

„Expelled?“

„You can imagine. They found out I wasn’t full vampire,“ he continues. Now you do see them. His fangs. You should’ve noticed. Damn. „That’s how I got here.“

And now you actually get what happened. Taeyong is an outcast. Looking past his teens, 150, 170 years, a tenth of Taemin’s age at the very least. And he’s half-vampire who’s been on his own pretty much: Just like you. That’s something that still didn’t sink in yet. Your kind. The butler of Club Daemon. 

No wonder he took his time pouring the blood into your chalice and looked at you like you’re some kind of revelation. If the cups in the room smell only half as delicious to him as they do to you? He has admirable self-control just standing there at the carpet without losing his mind.

You shift forward on your seat — as does Yukhei, unseen to you. Almost automatically, your tone becomes more tense.

„So what happened?“

„I didn’t know my entire family history until that point. I was orphaned,“ Taeyong expands, his mimic controlled. „The clan was all I knew. I never thought I could have any demon heritage. Literally any. For decades. Until my father showed up. It was…I didn’t know he was that far up the hierarchy.“

Your jaw drops. He has to be kidding you. That can only mean one thing, there’s only one person he could refer to.

„You met Satan personally?!“

Dead silence in the room. You could hear a pin drop. In fact, an elven hair strand.

„I wish I didn’t,“ the butler finally says. With a more silent voice. You can tell he has to cave in, force himself. „He gave me this.“

Taeyong begins to slowly loosen his tie. Taemin already averts his eyes. The butler goes on to reveal a left collarbone so scarred, you can’t bear to look at it for very long yourself. The tissue has been deeply torn. The bone, presumably broken twice, healed in an odd way on top of that. You feel the pain in the very same spot within your own body.

Taeyong doesn’t have to tell you that the altercation left his arm fully paralyzed. You just know, like you could sense his presence from far away already. Meeting his father changed his life forever in the worst way possible. Now you understand why Taeyong does the butlering in the club — he can keep his left hand behind his back at all times.

„His father rejected him,“ Yukhei says, sterner than ever. His anger has faded, and an extreme seriousness begins to sink his brows.

„It’s that — Neither my clan nor demon folk really want me present,“ Taeyong’s face is even more barren of an expression now. He’s bottled it all up, it’s hard to watch. It sounds like he hasn’t spoken about this for years. „This was the only place I could go at that point. Yukhei was very helpful. I hope you can feel the comfort of being accepted here like I do.“

„I… don’t understand why Satan would disapprove of you so much, Taeyong.“

„Some demons willingly get together with vampires,“ Taemin steps in now, careful in his intonation. „But Lucifer rarely does. And, only when he’s drunk. If you ask him on a normal day, and I know this sounds harsh… he despises most of pure vampires, and half-breeds even more so. He is also Yukhei’s father.“

„He is?!“

Now you’re almost falling off your chair. That Yukhei’s father must be one of the higher-ups in the demon ranks was already a no-brainer, but this —

„Idiot cast me from hell the second he found out I can grow these longer than his silly horns,“ Yukhei points at his mouth, baring all teeth now. Even in their natural shape, they’re already razor sharp, sporting clearly prominent fangs. Even your canines, and those are hardly used and worn down, aren’t as slicing as his. When he says he can grow them that long, you fucking believe him.

„He’s… not been the most accepting dad to say the least,“ Taemin folds his hands in his lap. “And doesn’t stick up for any mistakes.”

„’Cause he’s an insecure ass,“ Yukhei makes a disgusted grimace. „Fucks around and then gets mad at what he’s done. Vampire girls he sure likes when he’s doing one of his stupid orgies. But not the consequences. He’s so easily threatened. That’s almost funny.“

You’re stiffer than ever now, glued to your seat. Not in a million years did you think there was some serious family drama going on behind those fancy suits.

„So that’s why this club exists. Satan can’t handle us,“ Kai adds, kneading his thighs. Looking much more detached, almost demure. You can tell that Taeyong’s speech hit the underbelly of everyone in the room. That even Kai looks so sunken catches you off guard. „We’re half this, half that. I mean look at us. Yukhei and I could never be part of a pure wolves pack. Never. We can’t mingle with demons either. They doubt us in any place. Shitty situation.“

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Now, the double head emblem on the embossed door makes a lot more sense. It’s not just for the aesthetics. Two faces going into opposite directions. Always torn. Always the onlooker, yearning from a distance. Unable to go in either direction. Seems like you’re in the right place. Or the wrong one: Because you bet this assembly is the very eye of the storm.

„Why did Satan not try to attack the Club yet? Isn’t there even a stairway to hell in this house?“ you ask. If Satan got pissed off by Yukhei’s or Taeyong’s abilities, several people of that kind in one place sounds pretty much the ultimate provocation. Installing a designated hell door with smoke all around even more so. 

„He sure wants to,“ Kai shrugs, again, smirking in this very distinct way. He builds himself up again, and the teasing undertone in his voice strengthens back to normal. „But he’s afraid and doesn’t know about half of us. You see… Hellboy has no way of gauging what expects him. Even if he fucking hates us and wants us dead in a ditch, whatever. We know him inside out, too. Even more than he knows us. I’m sure he doesn’t want to face Taeyong now that he’s not young and weak anymore. He only exploits way down the hierarchy. He knows he can win there.“

„Makes… sense. Sort of— preying on vulnerable people.“

That an insecure hell boss is the reason this very club has formed? Seems to be a better explanation than you thought. No way so many species could stick together otherwise. How you’re in a room with two high functioning, protein-powered lycans both standing over six feet is already a miracle. Just sitting there sipping your bloody drink. There’s even an elf guy. That’s some surreal shit, even Salvador Dalí wouldn’t believe it.

„And, um. Saying that there’s a hell door is a joke Taemin pulls on every recruit,“ Taeyong scratches his head now. 

„Everybody thought that Mark was vaping but he actually put up a room difuser down the hall,“ Kai adds. „He’s using essential oils in there since a couple weeks. So sometimes we do have some fog round that area. But there’s no actual stairway or anything. It’s a club tradition... a hoax.“

Your what-the-fuck expression must be hard to beat right now.

„Er. All right then. So much about hell smoke.“

A whole damn prank. Taemin is not as angelic as he looks, is he. Still part demon, after all. It really felt like there was an entrance to hell around when you arrived here. Taemin’s little giggle right now doesn’t worry you as much as Yukhei’s grunting.

„So much about a hoax,“ he growls back. „I wish we actually had that door so I could go beat his ass.“

High functioning, protein-powered lycans with daddy issues. You never thought this club had major drama. Your lips think its time for another comfort sip from your chalice. Blessed thing you have that one. Because all this… got you into something bigger than expected. Eating shrimps on a terrace with some fellow half-breeds on a cozy Sunday evening? Nothing of that kind. Rating Christopher Lee movies and signing up on vampire tinder together just for fun? Nothing of that in sight.

„So, naturally. That we can recruit you is a good feat,“ Kai continues. „You might grow very strong in training.”

“Strong in training?”

“Vampire half-breeds are always up for a surprise. You see how Taeyong is like. He can open jars even I can’t crack. With just one hand. Long as we have a balance of power with hell, the Club is quite safe. Even from my father.“

Looks like what you got yourself into is a Cold War that coincidentally involves people from Down Under — but it’s not Australians.

„Are you Satan’s son as well, Kai?“

Kai shakes his head quite firmly. Just how stark his face structure is becomes visible when Taeyong puts a candle into his vicinity, helping you gauge Kai’s outline much better, which is a bit more reassuring. The butler seems to almost read your thoughts. Your initial shiver gladly has been in decline ever since Taeyong spoke up. And you do believe he can open those jars.

„My old man? Mammon.“

„Mammon? Ugh.“

You can already guess what this is all about. You don’t need to wait a second for Kai to go on a rant.

„He’s a fucker, fucked up, a fucking twat, and fucks around even more so than Satan,“ Jongin kicks his left foot, looking mighty grumpy in the candle light. „I’m sure you know what he’s in charge of. He likes fear and chaos. To say the very least.“

You sure can imagine. Mammon governs the most powerful resource on the planet. Or rather, what people do with it, so… you already don’t have to know anything more than that.

„Talking about him is of no use,“ Yukhei intervenes. „Lost cause, wasted time. What I wanna say is. The vampire clans also don’t know much about us either,“ he now points at you. „That’s our advantage. And the reason why you will have to quit most of your regular life if you agree to be a member. Or take a serum that will make you forget about meeting us. At least, up to the point where you received the letter. I know this is quite a severe change. You can imagine how discrete we have to be. Given everything you heard.“

Yukhei looks dead serious.

Well, alright then. The case is clear. This is legitimate big business.

Club „Most Hated Half-breeds“ Daemon. Outsiders, all of them. The first rule is: You do not talk about Club Daemon. A guild for the All-Transylvanian Rejects, the crossovers from hell gone hiding, the MIB of supernatural creatures. And all just because big daddy Lucifer loves to host an infernal orgy every now and then and never heard of a condom. It’s crazy. So much information intake, it’s time to sort your thoughts.

You take a deep breath, let the blood chalice dance in your cupped palm. Sweeping the remaining liquid at its very bottom, rhythmically. Sweet lifeline. You observe how the drops run as if nothing else in the world existed. And still, you have crystal clear hearing, and your voice is again becoming firmer. It’s the effect of the drink, you can feel it. Such good stuff, really.

„It’s not that I didn’t anticipate it. Taemin said something along those lines when we met. I get why you have to be discrete,“ you hum. Even telling you about the serum before any other information would give away too much. „I’d be back to square one anyway.“

Taemin nods at you.

„We’ll always be between elves and demons, mermen and demons, vampires and demons, werewolves and demons… This club wants to protect anybody who’s caught between chairs. We go to great lengths with secrecy. I hope you will join us in our cause. It’s a new life. Lucas has great plans for us.“

‚Lucas‘ seems to be Yukhei’s club nickname. Taemin appears to confide in him a lot even if he will smooth out his blunders. Meanwhile, you remember how Taemin talked to you about his own parents on the balcony. 

Apparently, none other than Beelzebub is Taemin’s father since over ten centuries. His latest habit seems to be blowing up his son’s phone with strange texts about recent hell politics. If that’s not enough, he asks about what he’s doing all day. It really is a new level of hell-icopter parenting. No wonder Taemin learned to be so appeasing in all situations.

„There are also ways of us finding out who your parents are,“ Taeyong comes to rest his right hand on your shoulder. Carefully, as if asking if it’s okay to touch you. You let him, without much care. Simply by— well, what is it, instinct?

Particularly Yukhei seems to observe this moment with much intent. Monitoring with piercing eyes, wild and deep. Trying to see through you at all cost. Surveying whether you’re a suitable club member, fair enough. But you seriously begin to wonder why he’s trying so damn hard to get into your head. He wants you on his side, sure, why’d he stare like that all the time?

Meanwhile, you don’t even know much about yourself except that you find veiny necks extremely appealing. Duh. So what’s there to analyze. You’re still kinda new to this. Blunt how Lucas is, wouldn’t he tell it to your face if he knew something you didn’t by now?

„At least, your demonic heritage,” Kai finishes the butler’s thought. “It’s not an easy discovery, however.“

Taeyong’s hand really does comfort you. But the thought of involving yourself in family affairs feels more than daunting and spoils the moment more than you want to. It’s something you could avoid until now thanks to simply not knowing much about your background. But apparently there’s no way to run from it.

„You might wanna anticipate that shit,“ Kai cracks his neck from side to side, then adjusts the sleeves of his white camisole. You’re suddenly so very well aware that he can probably see and smell your hesitation from a mile away. „Because when pa from hell shows up to see what’s going on? Preparation is better than being sorry. You gotta know who you’re dealing with. Art of war 101.“

Kai pointing at Taeyong’s battered left side reminds you all the more that lifting the veil is probably better than hoping for the best. If Satan happens to be your dad as well, you’re in huge trouble should he ever find you. Kai is right. Without allies and any knowledge of what you’re dealing with, you’d be lost.

Not to mention that Taeyong and Lucas would be your half brothers. Among probably a thousand other people. You didn’t walk through this door to get instant patchwork family. It would be a whole town of siblings now that you think about it.

If Satan has been even busier than that, which you’re sure of, that could mean an entire nation of people related to you somewhere overseas. Most of them being far from half-breeds. Why? Because Satan still preferred his own kind if he wasn’t completely hammered.

„Sounds like a nice prospect,“ you mumble, arms tightly crossed. Thousands of demons all out for your neck. Joining a notorious club network would certainly hide your identity much better than you hanging out in your small apartment in the middle of nowhere behaving like an average citizen. Glorious. You hate everything.

Which one person, as always, disagrees with.

„He makes it sound more dramatic than it is. Especially in this club you are more secure,“ Taemin softly adds, swiping a blonde strand from his right eye. „You must understand. Kai is in charge of defense. We all have our tasks.“

„Figured as much.“

„We all specialize in something we’re really suited for. Depending on our species, usually,“ Taeyong picks up Taemin’s point, and you begin to understand.

On the balcony, Taemin had even mentioned a gryffin member who worked as the designated club driver. Mister Ten as they called him, who was always out and about for a gazillion tasks. From hell mail to picking up tailored suits to doing the shopping to frequenting hospitals and various butchers for… leftovers.

Taeyong being an older vampire would require very specific blood (type A respectably, whreas you preferred O), and both Lucas and Jongin are in their wolf prime. Kai being slightly older but all the more active by the looks of it. So, just like Baekhyun, Ten seemed to be busy tending to that all the time, nowhere to be seen nor even mentioned. Which was a little… suspicious. 

But the ‚everyone has a task‘ seems to be a big deal. And: Everybody is set up to take their spot very seriously, in their supposed element. Being the VP suits Taemin just like being the butler really suits Taeyong. Even Yukhei, you admit, has the exact leading, head-on personality, although mixed with a lot of tempers, that his position would require. And Kai — his body doesn’t lie. Of course he is in charge of defense.

„We would strive to find out your ideal role in the club, too,“ Taemin says. „Kai thinks about this scenario from a combat perspective, but know that cases like Taeyong’s are extreme ones. We’re used to this but you don’t have that struggle. It’s probably like different worlds at the start but don’t let it phase you.“

You exchange looks, and Taemin gives an empathetic nod. His face is really gentle. It seems trustworthy. Again, you notice how his diplomacy helps you the most right now. It’s a bit cryptic, but it’s the type of classy conduct you were expecting to find in the club. You’re damn glad he’s here. Half-elves simply have a different kind of wisdom.

„I guess,“ you look at Taeyong. „It’s an extreme case because he was part of a clan, right, and I wasn’t.“

„Smart,“ Taemin takes up a porcelain cup from his own table and guides it to his lips. It appears to be some sort of elven elixir inside of it, light blue and sparkling. Maybe that’s the source of his maturity or something. „This is exactly the reason how so much conflict was possible in the first place.“

„Right.“

„You grew up with adoptive parents after your mother’s passing. It was unfortunate but also a hidden feat of luck later on,“ Taemin balances the cup between his elegant fingers. „Nobody from hell could find you. You didn’t show many abnormal traits. Nor were you close to any clans that fostered your abilities or spread the word. But especially the former. You grew up in human ways. Your abilities weren’t worked with.“

„Which we can do for you now if you want to,“ Taeyong clears your table off the empty goblet. Instead, he puts a booklet with a red ribbon around its hard cover just there. „In a more covert way that doesn’t arouse any attention.“

„Can we really do it so secretly?“

He really did read the concern out of your face all over again.

„Yes,“ Taeyong emphasizes, then directs his gaze toward the fireplace. „For any half-demon, half-vampire, this is the place to develop herself. We want to honor both sides and work with it. As good as we can.“

„All other approaches usually fail because they’re one-sided,“ Taemin raises his tea cup indicating towards a thoroughly disgruntled Yukhei. You get what the elf wants to say by that.

Yukhei — another extreme case, perhaps the most severe. From a certain perspective, you can imagine how being antagonized by his father and wolf packs at the same time would motivate Lucas to run a club like this. And what would motivate him to act like this, anyway. 

Leading Club Daemon with a velvet gloves approach? It’d be more dangerous than an iron fist mentality. Although it feels so clear to you, past the nebula of the blood cocktail, that Yukhei completely turned this aggressive style into a hyperbole. But you never know what or whom he’s doing it for.

Even at such a young age. You are convinced he really can’t be anywhere near 30 years of equivalent human age even if his height and way of dressing makes him look so settled. His overall presence on top of that: Whatever training they have to offer, it must be compelling.

At this point, you can only say to yourself — fuck everything. And lords knows the whole club is green of envy. No wonder they’re staring at you like that. You grew up so unbothered, your life is a joke compared to theirs. You were ignorant about way too many things about yourself. Looking at how everyone here embraces their origin, not developing your abilities was a full-on heresy.

„I’m actually considering it,“ you browse through the booklet, directing all attention in the room at you so keenly. Taemin sits at the edge of his seat himself. The paper feels luxurious between your fingers. As a first page, the name of who assembled the booklet’s contents is printed in bold. Mark Lee, conscierge, Club Daemon. 1999 edition.

The text details several time lines, diagrams, and fact lists about vampire-demon halfbreed history, on top of outlining a program featuring traits that a club novice could develop. 

Sprouting and care of demon wings. Usage of blood banks. Defense against crosses and garlic. Cities with high vampire populations. Types of claws. The culture of hell. Demonic Spells. Battle Gowns. Impact of ‚Twilight‘ on public perception of Vampires. Symbolism. Vampiric Reflexes. Christopher Lee Movie Analysis. Avoiding Exorcism. Communication with hell hounds. On Hunting and Forests. Fist-fighting Lucifer. Evolution of Ancient Vampire Dress Codes. Fang safety. Hierarchy of hell. Nutrition. Choosing a castle. Strength development. The list is nearly 200 bullet points long.

And the majority of training, it states, is supervised by Kai. Even the lessons on Vampires and Sexual Relations. Other lessons are conducted by Taeyong and Mark, mapping the more theoretical contents.

Most of the listed training units feature things you never knew you could possibly try let alone perform. Some lessons are even more vital than you thought they would be. Things your apartment life wouldn’t have to offer in the very least. At this point, walking out the door would be a grave mistake for an entire variety of reasons and you trust your instinct. The only thing that makes you bargain is not the elephant — but the big and bulky alpha wolf in the room.

What to do about Yukhei. 

Given the hardliner choice between serum or a complete new existence, it’s a question you’ll have to postpone. Interestingly enough, even though he was lycan through and through, Kai doesn’t bother you nearly as much anymore after the initial shock effect faded.

So what is it about Lucas. Even more things you’ll have to find out, then.

You’re nervous with the booklet in your hands, but you can’t complain. The two cups of blood in your system have given you more courage to look the four of them in the eyes.

„Considering what: Joining for the cause or the heritage?“ Yukhei crosses his arms at the solar plexus. His eyes are so probing on you, but you keep your head straight. You very well know that he’s testing you with this one.

„Both. And I want to know my role, too.“

The president seems to ponder for a bit. Then, he hums. More placid than before, you note. He actually seems satisfied with that answer.

„Then let’s start out,“ Kai rises from his seat alongside Yukhei, and both walk towards the red curtain in big strides. Taeyong sweeps it to the side, revealing a heavy door to another room.

Unlike the rest of the house, or at least the parts you’ve seen so far, this area has no embellished walls or ceilings. Not a spark of luxurious colors, either. No dark materials, no curtains, no dutch paintings, just concrete everywhere. It looks heavily worn, but strangely, doesn’t seem to be a relic like the fireplace room’s wooden tiles. All lighting is purely artificial. It seems part gym, part studio, and all furniture is solid metal, minimal, angular. You’d never expect such a modern, plain grey room to be anywere around the house. It smells like a damn hospital in here.

„Our training grounds,“ Kai paces around the area, clearing it and turning a knob that seems to activate floor heating. „The second safest place in the manor.“

„What’s the safest one, then?“

„We have a bunker downstairs. Flood-proof, radiation-proof.“

And Satan-proof, you don’t have to guess.

„Oh wow.“

„It’s unused so far when it comes to catastropes,“ Yukhei roughly pulls off his tux jacket and hangs it over a steel chair. Given how he stretches his arms, you figure it’s to gain some mobility. Or… to show off his huge build to impose his authority and intimidate you which surely is working. „But we do run it as a makeshift jail.“

„You’re keeping criminals in here?!“

„If you’d call Kai a criminal,“ Yukhei raises a brow.

Now you understand. The bunker is actually not meant for somebody else unless the situation calls for it.

„You’re isolating yourself during full moons.“

„You got it,“ Kai nods. „Nothing gets in, nothing gets out. Two days. I got used to the cold down there. And Yukhei locks himself in here with a pile of meat.“

„I…see.“

So that’s why the concrete walls look so damaged despite not seeming that old. If you look close enough, it’s actually not hard to imagine how there’s massive strength and claws at work here. And there must be plenty of things to desinfect afterwards. Hence the hospital smell. 

But then again, Lucas is not the one who gets put in the bunker downstairs. If that one is the safest room, Kai is in all regards the strongest. Which makes sense given his task here. But something about it makes you shift from one foot to the other. If Kai has to jail himself in an atomic prison, what a fucking beast are you even dealing with?

So this is with who you’ll train with, then.

„Nothing you’ll see anything of,“ Taemin clasps his hands, bringing your mind back to the image of meat piled up all over this room. „The member’s private rooms are way up on the 3rd floor. You’ll be situated there as well, in whatever free room you choose. They are very pleasant suites. The interiors are selected Victorian antiques. It’s not like around here.”

“Thank you, Taemin. That sounds great actually.“

“And— we can always predict their transformations without failure.“

„The suites have steel doors as well,“ Kai adds on. „Easy to lock from the inside. We’ve had centuries to think all of this through.“

„Reassuring…“

„Mind you. In case you feel you get a bad craving, you’re doing the same thing Kai and I do,“ Yukhei re-ties his left shoelace, foot placed on the metal chair like a 6’0 Napoleon. „It’s not like we aren’t the only people who have to protect others from ourselves.“

You don’t like the tone he’s striking and try not to look into his direction. As if you’re some crazed vampire lord with a body count and not a bloody amateur. Whatever cravings he’s talking about, it’s hard to imagine how you’d go absolutely buckwild on a concrete wall whining for blood.

„With half-vampires, well… It can happen,“ Taeyong helps Kai pull off his jacket as well. „But lycans still have to take more prevention if I may add. Simply because their whole being transforms and they’re gaining unexpected strengths from it. Vampires hardly do. Our strength is present always. We naturally learn how to deal with it each day. Lycans have exponentional and way more erratic powers in a shorter period of time.“

Now that puts it into perspective. You exchange a thankful glance with Taeyong. The butler gives a composed smile. Yukhei sees that and huffs. Looks like someone’s been projecting.

„We’re dealing with threats from the outside, better check the ones from the inside,“ Kai says, shrugging. „We can’t change that we’re aggressive species but we can lock a door ten minutes before shit goes down. Early risk detection. That’s gonna be a lot of what you’ll learn in the programme anyways.“

„Pragmatic, I guess,“ you scratch your chin. 

And he’s right. There’s nothing else the members could possibly do. Unleashing someone outside of the manor into the surrounding woods sounds like an overall bad idea. There’s a town somewhat nearby, fifteen minutes down the road. And as a matter of fact, you’ve never heard of suppression pills for half-demons on the market. Each species would need a different concoction: Tailored exactly to them in a long chemical process. Given the variety of Satan’s harem, that equals pure scientific madness.

Yukhei cracks his neck, puts the steel chair back in its spot. „We hope so. What reasons you’ll have to lock your suite for we’re about to find out.“

Three minutes later, you’re face down on the center table of the room, Yukhei pulling off your blazer. Even if you thought it would be much more unceremonious, he seems to do it rather slowly. In the meantime, Taemin rings a little silver bell. The sound is shrill and obnoxiously piercing. Seconds later, the concierge enters the room with a clipboard, introducing himself fully now. 

Oh shit, you almost forgot about the owl guy.

„Mark Lee. Bookkeeper, treasure master. Half-goblin. I also do our finances.“

Joining the club officially unlocks a whole new level of information, does it.

„Bookkeeper, I see?“

„Yes, we do keep a secret chronic.“

„Oh, alright? Spanning for how long?“

„Older than this house. I’ll introduce you to the archive next week, in fact. Welcome to Club Daemon, Miss. I’ll be documenting the findings of this test.“

Then, he turns to put down your phone on another table. First you missed it, now you don’t even care. Mark’s sudden appearance has you all wondering. He’s different now. Maybe his initial silence was very much connected to the exact level of secrecy Taemin has been talking about.

Mark comes across much more high-spirited when he talks, and his face appears youthful once it comes into motion. You give a little ‚mh’ as a rather distracted reply, and he begins a lightning fast scribble on his board, using a golden pen that looks like it’s worth your apartment.

Meanwhile, Kai’s interest seems to gravitate entirely to your shoulder blades. He goes about tapping the skin and muscles surrounding the bone, even pulling down the backside of your tanktop by an inch, causing you to hold your breath. He circles the spine, presses too fingers in at either side. He’s surprisingly subdued, but still quite hands-on. It’s not hard to feel that he has experience with examinations like that. In fact, Kai has the touch of a modern day chiropractor. Whatever you should think about that you don’t know yet.

It makes sense he’s in charge of all things physical. And — that the first thing he’ll do is get your wings to grow and work, wherever they may be inside your back right now. Lord knows what kind of reflex or trigger is needed to make them sprout. Mark, in full haste, keeps on checking off boxes on his board and hums, cocks his head every now and then.

Yukhei only seems to care for another area altogether. He holds up your ponytail to take a closer look at the back of your neck. You glare at him for pulling at your hair more than you thought was needed. Taemin volunteers to take up that task instead, with Yukhei going on scanning the nape. His hands are so large and grip at your shoulders, it feels like you’re some kind of prey being handled. Taeyong has no problems reading the discomfort on your face and clears his throat, prompting Yukhei to slack off at least a little.

„It won’t be anything painful,“ Taemin says. „We’re looking for any birth marks to appear.“

„Birth marks?“

„It shows up when other demons or half-breeds are around. It usually gives away who you’re related to. The color and shape show which rank your demon parent had. Not to worry.“

You chant a little thank you, Taemin inside of yourself as a way to keep yourself together and nod.

„Yukhei and Taeyong have large black markings that resemble a lighting shape if you will,“ Mark now speaks up. „Taeyong’s is so noticeable, he always wears his hair past his shoulders. And Yukhei mostly uses a high white collar.“

How fitting. You didn’t expect anything else if you’re honest.

„So I should cover it as well, right?“

„You shouldn’t tie your hair up this way so it can be seen,“ Kai says. „You can be glad it hasn’t alerted anyone yet.“

So… that’s why Yukhei did not seem to be very happy with your ponytail. You’ve been utterly reckless without even knowing. If there was someone who didn’t think it was a tattoo, you could have caused some major issues. But before you can apologize, the president already shakes his head.

„Well. You can keep that silly hairstyle. Because there’s nothing on that neck where there should be something.“

„What?“

„Not one mark. I’ve pressed every spot, there’s nothing. The birth mark should be visible already anyways since we’re here. Our presence activates it.“

Commotion. Yukhei lets go of your neck, Taeyong begins inspecting the area very hectically instead, joined by Kai. Mark seems to be in the most confusion right now and gnaws on his lips.

„But Baekhyun clearly said she has demon descent!“ Taemin interjects. „He sees such things the best!“

„Baekhyun… Little fish only wants her here because he has an eye on her,“ Yukhei grits his teeth, looking like he’s ready to kick the steel chair into a corner. „Swims around and invites anybody he fancies long as they have some decent fangs.“

„Yukhei!“ Taeyong cuts right back.

„I knew something wasn’t right,” Lucas keeps shaking his head, now seeming even more convinced. “Not a drop of demon blood in her.“

„What are you saying!“

Taeyong’s stoic face is turning livid now. You never thought he could turn this angry.

„Stop kidding yourselves. Get the serum, Taeyong. All that jazz we’ve been doing… I’m fucking tired. I told you it wasn’t my idea to invite her.“

Yukhei curses an entire string of very canine-sounding things under his breath and Taemin tries to hold him by the shoulders. The whole room feels like it’s about to explode. Taeyong doesn’t look like he’s ready to comply in the very least. Instead, the butler starts baring his fangs with a defiant snarl. Mark shouts out loud.

„Don’t—!“

„Are you deaf? Get the serum, bloodsucker! We’re not playing around anymore!“ 

Yukhei begins grabbing Taeyong by the collar. His eyebrows start to become fuller, and his teeth begin to crack, growing rapidly. Taeyong, eyes turning blood-shot, fastens his left hand behind his back. He positions himself to bring forth a powerful fist about to shatter right through Yukhei’s face. Alongside Taemin, you struggle to get up and reach them in an attempt to hold them apart. But before either of them can strike out—

„Wings! Her wings!“

Exclamations from all sides. Everybody turns to Kai. Panicked, he rests his hands just inches over your kidneys. Mark screams, loud enough to make Lucas shift his attention. Meanwhile, Kai gestures everyone back to the table.

„Here! Look here, now!“

Incredulous, Yukhei lets go of Taeyong’s suit and jumps right beside Kai. He pulls up your tank top to expose the lower back completely. Mark drops his board and pen. Yukhei’s hands roam all over the area that Kai mapped out through the fabric. And yes. Now you’re feeling bumps there, too. A painful tear pools at the bottom of your spine. The adrenaline of the situation didn’t make you realize.

„They… they’re unusually low,“ Mark chops his words, eyes wide and crouching behind Yukhei as if petrified.

„That means they’re large,“ Kai puffs out. „Look at the color, too. White, grey. They’re spotted in red. I’ve never seen anything similar. As if they’re bloodied.“

You can’t believe your ears, wind on the table. „Spotted wings?! What’s that about?“

„It’ll be even more visible when they’re spread. They’ve been hiding really fucking well down there,“ Kai says. „It’s very unlike any wings of ours. And I can’t get them out, all we did was locate them now.“

Great. You have special snowflake wings.

„Really?“ you’re pretty much staring like Mark yourself now. Kai affirms.

„It’ll take a trigger event that sprouts them. I don’t know what yet. Too early to say.“

„But what does the color mean, then?“

„Our wings are all some kind of… well, auburn. Neither Satan’s nor Mammon’s children have colorings like this. Only Taemin’s are blue.“

„But that’s regular for elves,“ Taemin adds.

A churning knot of panic seems to grow inside your gut. The fact that Yukhei keeps on groping about your back is starting to tug at your nerves as the cherry on top.

„Why, why are they like that? What is this?“

„Y/N,“ Mark inhales sharply. „Please calm down, we only—“

„And why are you touching me like I’m some kind of science object? Who am I?“ you shout at Kai and Lucas, prompting Taemin to slowly pull away both their wrists from the table. In this moment, you could jump either of them.

„I’ve, I’ve only heard of one case with such wings,“ Mark begins, but ends up choking up a cry. He’s shaking all over, takes his glasses off. „If you… turn her around…“

Yukhei doesn’t have to be told twice.

„So her mark is elsewhere? Isn’t it? She’s from a different family altogether?“

Mark nods.

Lucas swiftly flips you on your back. You can’t even blink and you’re already watching the ceiling with five faces right up close above you.  

„Let Taeyong do this,“ Taemin begins to urge Yukhei. „Lucas, you shouldn’t touch her now.“

That you need Taemin’s words for Lucas to hold himself back is starting to bother you. Him just grabbing you by the hips and turning you around felt more than strange. You imagine how in his mind, you’re probably a sizzling steak in a pan that he wants crispy on both sides and you don’t like it. One thing’s for sure: You’re not here for being werewolf dinner. What the hell.

What’s been on your mind even more is that Kai is not even half as annoying despite being so full of protein himself. With his chiropractor hands all over you on top of that. Is it that they’re from different families? Wouldn’t you dislike Taeyong as well then? He’s from the exact same corner of hell, after all. What exactly makes Lucas so pushy to you keeps on preoccupying everything you thought of until now as a bottom line. It’s not like you can ask him directly why he behaves like an asshole.

Three minutes pass. Lucas has stepped back from the table, watching like a hawk. A bit more composed, Mark picks up his pen and clipboard. He still can’t concentrate on writing. Taeyong gently probes each of your legs and ankles, even pulls your shoes and socks off to look at the underside of your feet. Finding nothing, he moves on to survey your wrists by smoothing over them, sending Yukhei an evil eye for grinding his teeth. Looks like someone doesn’t like others touching your soft spots.

Kai watches reactionless, seemingly deliberating. He’s in a different headspace, you can tell. Taemin helps Mark with ticking off boxes on the paper. Taeyong turns your jaw to either direction and slightly upwards to inspect the underside. He glides two fingers over your temples, and also asks you to open your mouth. He counts through your teeth with his digit and moves your upper lip to look at your fangs. Taemin emits a large ‚wow‘ when he does, and Yukhei growls out loud. Kai looks visibly interested, although he still seems to piece something together in his head.

„Extremely durable and angular,“ Taeyong says. „I’ve never seen this shape.”

„Me neither,“ Kai props up his palms on the edge of the table.

„Nobody in any clan I knew had fangs like that. Not even the elders. They’re so sharp… it must be inconvenient often,“ Taeyong requests a measuring tape from Mark who pulls it out of his left suit pocket.

„It is. Shreds every toothbrush,“ you mumble.

Taeyong glides his finger all across your gums above both canines, pressing on the root of each tooth. It seems to get a nerve inside your jaw going, and again your breath becomes shallow. He measures, dictates the unintelligble results to Mark. For some reason, you find whatever he’s doing strangely pleasant. Meanwhile, Lucas has been prowling around the table with a heavy gait. You adapt Taeyong’s method of sending him eye daggers.

„Can you put your story-telling on halt? This isn’t some vampire underground bar at Friday 12 PM,“ Yukhei grunts back at you and Taeyong. „Just say whatever the fuck this means. Shouldn’t you search for the birth mark?“

„Can’t quite tell now,“ Taeyong, sounding rather absent-minded, goes on counting through your teeth each. He’s feeling about like it’s a box of jewelry. 

Beside being an obvious difference to what your mostly human high school mates sported — if you could call them that, high school makes everyone inhumane — you never thought your fangs were anything out of the norm. There weren’t many people you could compare them to in your small home town in the first place. You only saw vampires on late night TV at best.

There’s a strange tingle that spreads across your body now. It’s unusual having someone so comfortable with your teeth.

Your first and last boyfriend headed right for the door when it came to kissing. As if stung by a hornet almost, a complete change of mind. Meeting you at a festival he thought the idea of dating a vampire was „pretty sexy!“. He paraded you around at his birthday party two weeks later, you thinking he was actually proud of you rather than only himself.

You later realized that he just wanted to appear like the bravest guy in the world. To gather his guy friends complimenting him on the ‚spicy catch you got there!“. And maybe, you suspected, also making the female guests compete for him with some one-upmanship towards you. If he needed you to attach any value to himself, what value did he have himself to begin with? It still feels like a bad decision because you said yes to someone like him.

He liked the exterior, but doing the actual dating with all that it entails he had seemingly underestimated. It’s not like you expected him to use any tongue or try a blowjob. Why would you?  Doing that would always be a stupid idea for both. Did he think you would purposely hurt him? Or did he just leech off everything he could get until he had to be responsible and deal with limits? Crazy vamp is what he last called you, and you never heard from him again. No texts, nothing. Does your pussy have monster teeth, too? Just go back to your cave or wherever you came from.

„If you forgive me saying so. They really are pretty,“ Taemin chimes in, then urging Mark to note something down. You take a moment to realize he means your teeth. Mark seems to have a lot of trouble snapping out of his daze at first himself, but begins to immerse himself in sketching and documenting after a while, ruffling his hair like a mad scientist. Lucas regularly gazes over his shoulder and you can tell he’s one grumpy wolf.

„We can show you how to keep them in shape and do a proper bite on someone who agrees on it. But you probably even tried something along the lines, right,“ Taeyong says, and Kai nods, probably wanting to say the same. It seems to be nothing out of the ordinary going by their expressions. But the question makes you more nervous than you actually want to.

„Honestly, I… didn’t bite anyone so far,“ you shake your head, unable to meet the eyes of anyone at the table. You hate the feeling of shame that kicks in almost by itself.

„Come on folks, that’s the first thing you smell about her,“ Yukhei boldly announces from his wandering spot around the dumbbells. 

Way to go. You realize how comments like that are exactly why you’re so nervous. He’s already acting holier-than-thou again.

„I only ordered cheap blood online,“ you try to muster a shrug. Acting indifferent is at least helping you to say literally anything. „All legal but artificial.“

And disgusting, but that’s another story.

„Not hard to tell either,“ Yukhei laughs out. „Takes a blood virgin to down a whole liter of the real deal in five minutes. You were staring at that cup like you’ve gone mad. The difference to cheap blood is quite intense, isn’t it? Wanna see your face if you get a willing neck for the first time. Priceless.“

Something coils up inside of you. Eye daggers aren’t enough at this point, are they.

„Don’t get rude, you dog… Do you like spying on others or what?“

„Come on, come,“ Taemin steps in, ushers Yukhei towards the steel chair.  He leans in, speaking in a low tone to the president. „Little more tact and privacy with a novice. Your dad would thoroughly enjoy this.“

„Would enjoy what?“

„Us creating discord in the club without him having to do crook a single hoof.“

You’re starting to think that ‚Vice President‘ means nothing but ‚group counsellor‘. Fine by you, but Yukhei has been rubbing you the wrong way from the very start. That he tried to attack Taeyong and called him names isn’t something you’ll just ignore. You’re growing increasingly more tense. That there doesn’t appear to be a way to take matters into your own hands is even more frustrating. 

„I think… there’s a reason you’ve been living a more isolated life than most vampires,“ Kai interrupts your thought as well as the ongoing banter, trying to strike a more rational tone. He returned from his thought process, ruffling the long hair at the nape of his neck.

„Okay—?“

„See. Most half-breeds with the same father will find each other. Almost automatically. Look at Taeyong and Lucas. And all vampires will get picked up by clans, their scouts. But in your case… I think you have been purposely avoided. By both clans and demons.“

„What does that mean now?“

„My theory is, I… I suspect. Your father,“ Mark looks up from his clipboard, „is someone who hasn’t exactly been Satan’s ally.“

„My dad is — some kind of, Lucifer’s enemy?“

„Maybe. It’s likely. So, the clans would use to trust your father lot.“

„Does that make any sense?“ you frown at Mark, who hastily continues. You still don’t get why that has something to do with how you grew up completely uninvolved in clan affairs.

„His affinity for vampires was much higher on top of that, unlike Satan.“

„Get to the point!“ Lucas taps his feet on the concrete.

„I, I think that’s why you were born,” Mark carries on, pushing up his glasses. “He got together with a vampire. But he has been mingling with a lot of arch angels as of recently as well. Your father, I mean.“

„Okay? But how would you know?“

„The reasoning is this,“ Mark reads from the clipboard. It seems like he has been working on some kind of theory. „The clans don’t like the archangel’s power nor their politics. And the angels don’t really like us as a club either. Simply because we’re half-demons and have offsprings of Satan among us. I know that’s, that’s really complicated, so—“

Whoever Mark means in all of this word spill, your father is evidently a huge trainwreck already. Who’s against who now? It’s all so hard to understand.

„That all doesn’t sound very good,“ you grumble. „Are you sure your theory holds true, Mark?“

„It all sounds like he’s pulling that out of thin air,“ Lucas says. „Angels and whatnot. That’s some random bullshit.“

The conscierge looks rather overwhelmed with your question and can’t quite get a word out at first. Taemin encourages him with with a little supportive eyebrow raise.

„What I know is. By the signs your… body has. We have to keep you safe here and build your strengths at all cost. Because something’s going on,“ Mark eventually continues, earning strong approval from Kai.

Then, Mark addresses the president, much more fragile in his voice, but still secure in his judgement. „Lucas. If we give her the serum, Satan could someday get her if he musters up the courage and the helpers. Which I think he will. That won’t end well in any scenario. The club is in danger. Do you understand? Putting her out there is a bad idea and she doesn’t want it either. She wants to be a member and that’s instinctively the right thing at this point. Baekhyun happened to spot her now out of all times with good reason, I think.“

Lucas seems to ponder back and forth now. He props down on the steel chair with crossed legs, palms in the back of his neck. He looks genuinely concerned for the first time. You find yourself starting to nod along to Mark in the meantime. You like when he speaks like this. 

„Thank God you’re here then, Y/N,“ Taeyong says. „It’s important you get to know more about yourself. It creates a lot of chaos otherwise. For you the very most, unfortunately. We have to admit that joining the club probably makes it worse. But we can’t know what would have happened if you never found your way here.“

„Yeah, I guess.“

„Your heritage is probably much more… controversial I would say. I hope you don’t take this to heart too much,” he continues. “We’ll still have to find out more. But it’s something else we’re not accustomed to so excuse any crudities.“

You can imagine. If your dad is yet another person having beef with Satan, and there’s even people from heaven involved, things are bound to get icky.

„So, where is my birth mark, then?“, you exhale, voice growing with an acute panic. „Do you know my father’s name or not now? 

“Um...“ Mark stares at his own feet.

“Is all of this a fraud? And what can be more controversial than having Lucifer as your dad?“

Taeyong and Mark are looking at each other far too awkwardly not for you to notice. Kai crosses his arms and sighs out.

„Come on, you two are suspecting something. Tell us.“

All attention is now on Taeyong and Mark who are a puddle of sweating embarrassment.

„We have to… Well…“

You feel like a patient about to receive the most embarrassing surgery. Yukhei roams around the table murmuring and fuming.

„What is it now? What are you avoiding?“

„…pull up the shirt to see the birth symbol,“ Mark spouts in one go. „It’s located in the middle of the chest.“

So here’s the reason for all that tiptoeing and stuttering.

„And I thought you’d need my period blood to paint an ancestry sigil or something,“ you roll your eyes right at Mark who looks like he’s sinking into the ground right before you.

„That’s actually what we wanted to do next,“ Yukhei licks his fangs. 

Taeyong, as if lightning struck him, immediately kicks him in the back of the knees. Everyone turns their heads. Judging by Yukhei’s awkward, reaching step forward and no signs of retaliation, Taeyong has some serious leg strength going despite being so lithe. You never thought you’d see his butlery composure begin to crumble either.

„Stop making weird jokes. You’re a dog just like she said.“

Taeyong’s tone is so cutting, Mark breathes out as if he was the one getting kicked.

„Technically not wrong.“

„You got what I wanted to say, Lucas.“

„Can’t hear you mumbling through your stupid old fangs, brother. I’m fucking proud of being a dog.“

Yukhei does an even more obnoxious werewolf-brand wink that makes even Kai cringe a little. Taemin looks like he’s slowly dying on the inside. 

While they’re all continuing to throw out retorts, you cut the debate short by pulling up your tank top. Must be the courage from getting your teeth praised.

Today’s braless day, but anyways.

Mark immediately starts crouching again, and Kai’s mouth drops wide open. Taeyong collapses right on the floor. Taemin buries his face in his hands.

„It… It is as dramatic as Kai said!“

„What is it now? Can’t you guys handle some breasts or what.“

You look down on yourself. And— soon freeze as you see the large round marking right on your solar plexus. Red as blood and crudely outlined.

„What the fuck is that!“

You get goosebumps. The mark has never been visible before. Whatever work Kai did on your back pressing all sorts of points, it must have activated not only your wings, but also this particular spotting. It appears to be shaped like a medal emblem, depicting a snake and a centaur or whatever creature in bold zigzag shapes.

„The sign of King!“ Mark shudders through his tears. The temperature in the room seems to drop, and the scent of jasmine smells like rotten coal. The sign glows red and large on your chest, and not even Yukhei is looking at your breasts now.

„We’re so fucked, man!“ Kai pulls at his hair. „What are we gonna do!“

„Wait! Wait, what is this!“ you pull at Mark’s suit, urging him to speak on. He can’t properly gather himself the very least.

“I can’t say—”

“Tell me, Mark! What is this sign!“

„Be, Before Lucifer… became the prince of the underworld. It was like this.“

„Like what?“

„There was a King who ruled the 9th circle of hell. For over a million years.“

„Who is that guy? He’s my dad?“

„Yes. He never left. That was, until Satan overthrew him after being cast from heaven. The King purposely decided not to come back and expand his influence elsewhere. He’s now a free-walking spawn of hell. The guy who’s technically… actually the boss. Satan is just tolerated but The King has the actual powers. You can guess… look at how large the mark is.“

„I am the King’s daughter?“

„You are,“ Mark contines. „The daughter of King Belial.“

He can hardly pronounce the name without everybody flinching.

„He’s the original guy in charge,“ Taemin bends to help pick up Taeyong, who’s breaking out in a cold sweat. Whatever is glowing on your chest, it’s something out of the Club’s league and that thought alone drives an equal sweat on your face. Belial, you’ve only heard that name sparsely, somewhere, and you knew hell had kings, but you didn’t know it was a very real tale.

„Satan was expelled from heaven for his pride,“ Kai picks up Mark’s point, but his voice is just as shaky. „So he took on hell and drove out your father after a decade-long war. And, plenty of tricks, dark magic. The King first settled in a radical vampire clan who thought he’d be the ultimate weapon to get back at Satan. And Belial thought he’d had an army now, too. But the arch angels also took interest in the King for that same reason. They wanted to fight Satan, too.“

„Didn’t Mark mention the angels earlier? What’s going on with them?“

„They don’t like vampires, so they lured the King away from the clan to only collaborate only with them.“

„So there’s a triangle going on!“

„Belial hasn’t really retaliated or done anything since then, but we’re thinking that he’s plotting something big together with God,“ Kai continues. „Against anything demonic that they set their eyes on. Not just Satan.“

Your head is spinning. Now God’s involved in this shitshow, too. It just gets worse with every new thing you find out.

„The foe of my enemy is my friend. That type of idiot logic,“ Yukhei says. „And Belial was stupid enough to fuck a trash vampire in the process. And you… are the result that we have to deal with now.“

„As if I can help it! You shut your mouth!“ you jerk up to lash out at Yukhei, but Kai steps in between you. He’s as fast as he is strong, and an impenetrable wall you can run up against all you want. And Kai isn’t foolish, either. He grabs you by the shoulders with extended arms to keep your fangs as far away from him as possible. All Yukhei has to do is step back.

„Stupid— because that got your mom killed,“ Kai says, teeth gritted, but sounding much more sensible than his stance suggests. „You gotta understand. Satan wants to eradicate or silence anyone associated with Belial. To avoid a revenge and losing his position!“

„Then you’re right that he’s a prick…“

„My damn words,“ Yukhei shrugs behind Kai, adjusts his tie. „Now put your tits back and sign Mark’s form, you’re part of Club Daemon without further notice anyways.“

„Wha—“

„Now listen closely madam,“ Yukhei burges past Kai to build himself up above you.

„I’m not gonna say this a second time,“ he throws the blazer at you, and you awkwardly catch it. Kai steps out of the way to let Yukhei step even closer to you. The grit in his eyes is too commanding, untouchable. Mark backs off against a wall, and even Taemin gives up on stopping Lucas. Only Taeyong lingers close behind the president, surveying his every move.

„Since Satan is an illegal worm on the throne and the King prefers to sip ambrosia with God, you happen to be the only legitimate heir. The literal, official ruler of hell. And as we saw, giving you the serum would cause even more trouble. You might even get used against us or yourself. You get me? We have enough trouble and craziness with all this! Do you understand that? From now on: You’re doing exactly as I say.“

„Why are you the one to declare all that now? Yu—“

„No objections. Training starts today.“

————————

„Your wings are so nice,“ Baekhyun smiles, turning twice in his bath tub. The water gently rises, bringing some foam to the corners. If you squint a bit, it actually sparkles. You’re feeling laid-back with the scent of fragrance sticks and candles lingering in the bathroom now. Tangerine, a bit of lemon. A pocket-sized music box strums away on the sink. The melody is foreign to you, but it feels nostalgic and welcoming. There are almost a dozen shell-shaped metal soap holders all around and pointy quartz clusters frame the two mirrors on either side of the room, creating an endless loop of reflections. Yours excluded, which always seems to amuse Ten even if he’s already used to it from Taeyong by now.

A snugly dim lightbulb screwed into a large pink lamp shade right above you spreads some warmth, as does a fluffy carpet underneath you. The vapors of the room become visible as little ascending particles in the light and you wonder how hot the bath water must be. Unlike the chairs in the main hall, the one you currently sit down on cross-legged is meant for comfort solely. A pink and poufy 50s relic, put there specifically for you since it’s Friday.

„Ah…Baekhyun. I forgot you see them for the first time,“ you settle, while he turns again. You find yourself laughing at how cutely Baekhyun spins. That this is the way mermen express their excitement and adoration you learned only last week.

„And, your fangs have grown so big!“ His cheeks are bright and giddy, and his tail glistens from all the soap he tossed around in the water for almost half an hour now.

„I’m on my 50th day of training now.“

„Ooh, that’s so impressive! You’re doing great for sure!“

„I don’t know if I do. But there are some results at least. Kai made me fight Yukhei with bare hands and they came out,“ you wriggle your either wing, and make their tops touch the ceiling. Ever so slightly, you don’t want to break anything around here. Baekhyun’s little bathroom paradise is too carefully assembled to pull any stunts in here, and it’s your Friday night safe haven for long talks and even watching movies on Mark’s tablet. Now, it doesn’t take a lot of stretching to do so in the first place. At this point, wearing your wings out this way is starting to feel natural, even if the way that they shift your balance is still new. They are red-white and stringy, feathery, and spotted just like Kai had predicted.

„He was in his full form, right? You’re really brave you did this.“

„It’s a strange thing sometimes. It’s like I followed an impulse.“ you say, shrugging a little. „I guess — Blame it on instincts.“

You really hoped he would buy that dodge, but it’s a futile try.

„Hey, I mean it. I’m proud of you. Really.“

You push a few hair strands out of your eyes. He’s not going to let you off the hook until you admit it, or maybe it’s only you so fearing to say that, and making it so awkward that he notices.

You don’t want to bare yourself but also don’t want to leave him in the dark about how much his words have been building you up over the last few weeks. It’s almost been two months since you first saw Baekhyun on Mark’s video call, discussing where to relocate the club chronicles after a shelf randomly collapsed. Even a fraction of him on screen made you hold your breath.

Maybe it’s because a whole lot of your ancestors were — although surely snobby and even aristocratic — so bite-first-talk-later and rather reserved folk staying in the shadows that accepting or never doubting flattery is hard for a vampire of your generation. And maybe it’s time you muster up something else than either extreme end of that aristocracy or that terrible shyness.

„Thanks for your compliment,“ you stare at the tips of your fingers that clamp around your knees. „Matters a lot, okay.“

Baekhyun props up his head on the edge of the tub in response and looks at you all blushed. He’s playing with the blue crystal penchant around his neck, and his light purple hair falls into his face in wet little waves until he shakes it. The strands are so thin and plush, they prop up all dry again so fast, as if by magic (which it likely is). His cheeks are so glowing when they’re rosy, you notice every time you see him, but today even more so. To the point where, and you feel it in your gut, your confidence becomes so shaky all over again.

„But don’t praise me too much,“ you say. „It’s only doing what I’m supposed to do and what I’m made up of, I think. It wasn’t that hard.“

„Not as hard as defense against crosses and garlic, isn’t it?“

„Damn right, that was something ese,“ you nod. „But there are much bigger problems.“

„Is there something that preoccupies you as of lately?“

Baekhyun blinks a few times with a falling smile, and you contract in your chair.

„I feel like… It’s so hard to say.“

„I won’t hold anything against you, okay. I just hate seeing you preoccupied night til dawn. That’s not right.“

„It’s…Yukhei is treating me like some kind of tool. Just fostering me because that means a hybrid demon sits on the throne of hell. It feels too much sometimes. Like I have to dance to the beat of his track all the time, you know.“

„I’m sorry. Lucas can be really zealous. I hope he’s not demanding too much from you.“

„Or… training me like a machine. I’m really not a dog’s toy. I don’t think that’s what made my join all this. I don’t have as many problems with my heritage as with the way he takes so much control. It’s… one-sided. And I feel like I should be above that already and just do my thing anyway.“

Baekhyun’s expression sinks even more now, but there’s also something single-minded in it.

„As long as you truly wish to take that position in the 9th circle, you can do as you please,“ he says. „Look at how strong you are. I don’t even have to tell you that. As I know him, Yukhei wants to protect his kind. Including you, that’s why he trains you so hard and wants you to have influence. I know it’s an ironic thing. That you have to be his subordinate now to be his superior in the future. He sees himself as a founding father, so he coaches us. His strict ways are not for everybody.“

„I guess,“ you shrug. It doesn’t sound illogical to you. Having a half-breed in charge of hell would raise the status and safety of Club Daemon immensely, and Yukhei does behave like the club is his child. „I just don’t like it when he uses his position too much without caring about how I want to go about it. I know I’m new to this, but I still have preferences. And the training is for my sake, he’s the one who emphasizes that the most but it feels like it only serves him. Telling him that is like, like— talking against a fucking wall, I don’t know.“

„That doesn’t sound good. I think that you inspired a lot of respect in him. Lucas is afraid of many things.“

„I feel that.“

All too often. When he trains you. At dinner. During any hand-to-hand practice. And especially: On Fridays, where he is tense all day.

„That the pack order is so wired into him doesn’t help. There’s always only superior or subordinate to him, he doesn’t know anything else. The social order of vampires is less defined than that.“

The roles, the hierarchies. You often find Mark talking about it.

„I try to understand it but our ways are so different. I don’t know what it is. Yukhei should know that vampires aren’t responsive to this alpha thing the very best. And I don’t think anyone in Belial’s family for that matter.“

You’ve seriously been wondering how Lucas was donning his big bad wolf attitude. That he was intimidated behind all that jazz would come as no surprise to you. But this type of explanation would be too… simple. Too easy, for all those intricacies, the weirdness of his behavior.

„If you look at it from what he does rather than what he says. He spends a lot of time developing your skills and puts all of his energy into the project,“ Baekhyun’s gaze drops from yours now. „To be honest… I’m jealous of him.“

Now that makes you swallow hard. It implies way too much for you to process right now.

„I don’t, I don’t think he likes me,“ you vehemently shake your head. „Or at least not in a way that feels good to me. And that’s what counts. He’s making me grapple with hell hound holograms and box with Kai until dawn under his supervision. I’d rather be here and discuss with you. It’s really valuable.“

„Ah… thank you.“

Now that you’re on a roll, saying it is easier.

„I’m really glad you were the one who scouted me. I really wish I could be here more often. And, you put a lot of effort into this. You think it’s just talking but it’s important for me.“

The last part you say with a much more subdued tone, but it doesn’t lose its meaning to Baekhyun. That he looks flustered is an understatement. He wriggles his shiny tail and it actually changes its color to light pink, matching his flush.

„You know, it was more of a coincidence. I was counting shells at the beach, I saw you coming out of a pharmacy at the quay. I haven’t told you that, have I?“

Back in May. A very breezy, sunny late afternoon.

„Taemin said something along those lines, but not in detail, no.“

„You had these huge sunglasses on. And so much sun screen. And a big hat. You came out with six packs of iron supplements and cranberry juice in a transparent plastic bag. I couldn’t quite believe it.“

„You really saw it that clearly?“

„Merman eyes can see even in murky water. Kai has trained me to read people at any distance on land.“

„And how did you see that I’m part demon?“

„You had a crop top on.“

What?

„I mean. Come on. That half-vampires like crop tops is clear to me. Taeyong is wearing them all the time. But don’t other people do that as well? Isnt’t that a little—“

Baekhyun starts giggling.

„The sun was hitting your back while you were opening the lock of your bicycle. I could see the wings folded underneath your skin.“

„Oh man,“ you puff out, reclining in your seat. And you thought he was going for a reach. „Okay, I get it. I hope nobody else saw that.“

„It can easily look like some kind of tattoo,“ Baekhyun shrugs. „At least someone who has no idea about demons wouldn’t have realized anything. And it was only visible for a split second since you weren’t standing upright.“

„Okay… that’s good I guess? Just me walking around in a crop top at the bay. Nothing suspicious going on.“

You’re ready to chastize yourself for being so careless, but then again. Arguably, you don’t have eyes on the back of your head. And on top of that, it took someone as trained as Baekhyun to discover your sleeping wings showing in a matter of one blink or two.

„It’s likely that your wings only started growing this very year. I really need you to realize. This didn’t happen in twenty years. I was never as fascinated in my entire life, I—“

And by saying that, Baekhyun’s pupils become heart-shaped, and pretty much everything else about him turns bright red. The hair, the tail, the lips.

Oh.

Looks like you’re starting to understand why Baekhyun didn’t just casually mention you to Yukhei to send out an invitation, bar half-breeds being a rare occurance and highly sought for by the club.

„I called Taemin with my shell phone right away so he could inform the club,“ Baekhyun stutters on. „I’m sorry we’ve been observing you that way. Many half-breeds don’t know that they are.“

„You didn’t do it to hurt me,“ you shake your head, gather yourself, and take Baekhyun’s hands in yours. They’re so pretty and slippery. „You don’t have to apologize. It’s been a lucky coincidence.“

He saw you in the right moment and it decided everything.

„I’d not be here without you, that was very needed,“ you add. „Lost and found, you know. I gotta be the one to say thank you.“

Baekhyun firmly squeezes your hands and looks you deeply in the eyes, even more so than before.

„We’re the ones who have to say that,“ he says. „We didn’t have many good prospects before you. Maybe we can have a better chance being half-breeds in the future. Don’t think of yourself as Yukhei’s chess piece. That takes away all your importance. I think he’s trying to tell you that, too.“

„Maybe. But just know that if he’s so invested in me the way you say, I couldn’t reciprocate it.“

You look down, retreat your hands. Baekhyun reaches out of the tub to cup your chin upward very gently.

„This whole werewolf-vampire feud thing,“ he starts in a low tone. „You don’t have to buy into it. It’s not good for our club’s unity.“

You cast down your eyes. „I know.“

„If we fall apart, that makes us very vulnerable to the outside. It’s important that you stick together, and… he really likes you.“

„Baekhyun—“

„You have an easier time with Kai, right. If you approach Yukhei the same way, that… could be beneficial to your bonding.“

„Bonding?“

You don’t like where this is going. All of your alarm bells are going off right now. There’s cold sweat starting to stick to your shirt at the back of your spine.

„It’s kind of an unspoken codex,“ Baekhyun sounds much more understated now, his eyes become droopy. „If there is a female half-demon with claims to the 9th circle, a mate from the guild may accompany her. But it has to be someone from the upper rank.“

„What!“

„Yukhei is the highest in our hierarchy... He might become your consort. He said to me he’d be ready to do it.“

„Yukhei as my mate? How do I know nothing about that!“

The shock in your voice makes Baekhyun rolls up in the bathtub and his tail turns into a lifeless green. You’ve never seen him so small.

„Because… because he can’t say he likes you.“

„I beg your pardon?“

„It’s all bound to happen because of his status, and yours, and— As I said, it’s an unspoken law. It doesn’t really matter if he confesses or not.“

„Are you kidding me now?“ you jump off your chair. Your wings knock over a ceramic vase in the bathroom cupboard right above the sink. It comes down splintering. „Why on earth does Yukhei push me around like some political… genetics… preservation tool!“

„It, it is not the intention—“

„I don’t want to mate with Yukhei! Not because he’s the president, not because I need some fitting husband apparently, not because he spends a lot of time with me, not because of his money or because he cares a lot about preserving half-breeds, and especially not just because he likes me.“

„You— You don’t?“

Baekhyun’s eyes are wider than when Mark first saw your spotted wings, well-knowing he was dealing with a more delicate subject of the chronicles. But this was something that would turn the annals of the club upside down entirely.

„We’re not compatible. Not in the least,“ you frown. „Did you assume I did?“

„Of, of course! I mean in your position, who else would come to your mind? It’s such a given from both of your sides, I didn’t… even think about it. Please, I didn’t want to offend you!“

You settle on your chair again, fold in your wings. Cross your legs, lean back. An overbearing feeling of depletion makes your whole body ache.

„You know. That’s the thing with tradition. Nobody thinks about what they actually want. They just follow a program to satisfy some stupid custom. To soothe their ego, their morals, I don’t know what. But that leads them in the opposite of being satisfied. Because it’s against their real wishes. Doing away with quite a few traditions without causing much damage would be entirely possible, wouldn’t it.“

„I think traditions do serve someone,“ Baekhyun shrugs. „Many people.“

„In this case, only one person. Hint: tall lycan man who wants to fuck me. And take me as a wife which I didn’t even know until now. And how would I if he’s yelling at me about putting away my tits as if I’m some chunk of trash.“

Baekhyun stutters, decoiling not one inch from his position.

„Didn’t he do that in front of others?“

„Yeah, but why are you asking?“

You can’t help but put some sharpness into that reply. All that mating monkey business is reeking of bullshit.

„Lycans are, well you know it. Really possessive. He wants you for himself, he… he’s affected by your body. Everyone can see that. So, everyone automatically thought he’d just, sooner or later make a move on you, you know. You’ll be exclusive to him.“

„You really think that Yukhei is territorial over my fucking tits.“

„On the outside he was acting grumpy that it was a half-vampire coming to us out of all races. But he sent out Taemin with the club invitation letter in a matter of a day. The fastest he ever wanted to get someone to join was when I scouted Ten as our chauffeur. Ten had all the qualifications and he’s half-harpy, they get on with lycans very well, but Yukhei was deliberating for two weeks.“

You shake your head.

„He sent it out because the club direly needs extra manpower, a new element, whatever, that’s why. He literally said so.“

„Yukhei ordered to send out the invitation only when I told him that you’re a good-looking… woman.“

You’re gasping for air. Can this get any worse? This has got to be a bad joke. It sounds like Yukhei literally wants to own you.

„Is he— that desperate?“

„He’d not mate with any full-lycan or half-human half-lycan, or humans altogether,“ Baekhyun shakes his head. „And how could he, he’s the president and protector of the only demon half-breeds club there is. Anything else would be out of character.“

„So me being in need of a mate because of all this heir thing… serves him well and he’s already planned all of it and treats it as a given in the club. All behind my back.“

You could rip out all your hair at this point. You curse him. This dirty, sneaky, cunning wolf guy.

„From his perspective, it makes sense. Nobody else in his shoes would do it differently. He didn’t mate at all yet. We respect that he will take that only chance because he has the last say, you saw that. If a lycan runs a club, we go by lycan ways.“

All you can do is plant your face on the edge of the bath tub and puff out a deflated noise.

„So I’m the only fuckmeat in sight. To get rid off his virginity.“

Oh God, no. This has got to be a terrible dream, even the club’s chronicles pre-1689 aren’t as tragic.

„Yukhei’s instincts are going crazy since he reached maturity. Kai already mated earlier in his life and takes Beta status. I guess that’s why you get along a little better. But with Yukhei… he’s so depraved, he’s even ready to mate with a half-vampire.“

„I saw how hostile he can get with Taeyong…“

It still pains you. That Yukhei would go at him with full fangs and claws even if Taeyong is so severely marred was a punch in the gut. You don’t doubt Taeyong’s strength, and you saw he was ready to defend himself properly and resolutely. But it showed a lot of true colors and you thought about it for many nights.

„Exactly. That he said he’d be your consort tells you how much he needs somebody. He’s even ready to bury the rivalry and also contests anybody of your race. Taeyong is competition to him.“

„Jealous possessive alpha looking for a trophy,“ you bury your face deeper in the enamel of the tub edge. „Baekhyun. I fucking swear. You’re giving me even more reasons not to get with him. He’s even dragging Taeyong into all of this.“ Taeyong, who made you feel so at home and comfortable with being half-vampire. Who was very open with you and had exactly the integrity and dedication and utter class a club member needed to have. A confident, quiet strength and rolemodelship that you could always look up to.

„So talk about unity,“ you grit on. „And I’m only tolerated to Yukhei. If I’d be a guy, he would’ve sent me an invitation after like 5 years, wouldn’t he? Yukhei cares a lot less about halfbreeds than he pretends. How would I get with this guy if he’s such a mess. Never ever.“  

„You actually wouldn’t?“

„Come on! If that’s not clear at this point. No degree of Yukhei wanting me means I want him. Man, what the—! He’s planning my life as if it’s his factory. He’s making chaos out of everything.“

Hell, Yukhei must be more than insecure if he reached that level of entitlement. And you only get to hear it from Baekhyun? He’s not just insecure, but also a coward. Just how much he’s living in his own bubble is hard to fathom.

„But, it’d be an honor for you to be with the president. Is there a reason you don’t like him back?“

„Baekhyun. I don’t give a fuck about his arranged marriage thing. He has no respect. I want someone else.“

„I mean, I… You’re free to choose from the assembly. You’re the Queen of Hell. You can do whatever you want.“

„Apparently not.“

You cock not one, but two brows right at him. Baekhyun seems entirely confused. It’s so strange to you how he doesn’t seem to catch on in the very least. Yukhei really must have threatened the other club members. Nor does he seem to take your role seriously in the very least.

„Is there someone you want to mate with, then?“

„First time someone ever asked.“

You straighten your posture and tap your fingers on your knees. Admittedly, you’ve probably picked that one up from Kai.

„The guild accepts any of your wishes. It’s just a recommendation or a tradition that—“

„Yeah yeah. A dumbass expectation. Disguised as some… guideline. And everyone’s parroting it just because Yukhei is the boss. I don’t like that, okay. I’m not on board with his personal agenda. Because it’s shitty. Full stop. I’ll shove his bonding schtick up his ass until it comes out of his ears.“

„Ah, I, I see. I get it now.“

„Understand, Baekhyun. Rules have to be adapted to the benefit of those they concern. Are we agreeing on that?“

„That’s only logical!“

„So you get that I have someone in mind that I want to have a consort. That person is not Lucas. You see that the benefit would apply here, that, you know, I mate with that other person instead.“

„Sure! Do you need any help with selecting somebody? Wouldn’t Kai be a perfect match? You’re both so strong! Or Taeyong. You have great chemistry! Mark is very impressed by you, too! Haven’t you seen how shy he is?“

You want to sink into the ground on the spot. It just goes on and on. Man, you need a 500-year coffin nap with extra dust and spider webs and no garlic in the radius of ten kilometers.

„Baekhyun, you, you are… God damn…“

You can’t say it. You can’t.

„Always glad to help,“ a bright smile lights up his face once again. His tail turns back to a very familiar turquoise.

And just when he decoils himself to his full size—

It happens.

„Ah! What was that!“

Baekhyun begins to jerk up and winds. You panic. The surface of the bath water colors with red almost right away. He grabs his tail in pain. You dive either hand into the tub to pull up his tail.

„It’s a splinter! It fell inside the tub!“

„From the vase?!“

„Yes, it’s, it’s…“

„Are you okay Y/N? You look different!“

He seems more shocked about that than the fact that he just got pierced.

„It’s…stuck here. I’ll pull this— out and… and. Very carefully, and…“

Your hands work on their own. There’s nothing in your mind that has to direct them. The piece of ceramic is easy to remove from his scales, nor is the cut too severe at all. It’s not even two fingers long. But he’s bleeding. He’s bleeding. It’s unbearable. You mindlessly cast the splinter into the sink and look at your hands, and the water, and his tail.

„Are you really okay? It really doesn’t hurt a lot!“

„Baekhyun,“ you slide forward from your seat and linger at the edge of the tub, facing him. „I can’t take this shit anymore. Please.“

„Oh my god. Your eyes are going red! Should I call for Taeyong? You’re looking really sick!“

„Don’t you understand. How, how are you not seeing it,“ you clutch at the bath curtain, dizzied, and it’s like you’re seeing double. Baekhyun tries to keep you upright in his arms that wrap tightly around you. But your head has lost all its stability, tipping way forward. You’re face-to-face, forehead-to-forehead with him now, a frantic, salivating mess. Your lips feel so swollen and pulsing, it’s hard to keep them pressed together at all.

„I’m… I’m not sick. I’m not. Hush— Listen to me now, Baekhyun. I don’t want anyone else’s blood. You’re the one I wanna mate with. I want yours. And not just a little bit of it.“

Open mouths. You gape at him, he stares right back. You’re already expecting him to call for Kai to drag you into the serum room. So much about Club Daemon.

To your surprise, he doesn’t. Instead, he begins to blink like he just heard the most incredulous news, pulling away from the embrace. He looks at you in earnesty.

„Why didn’t you just say that right away?“

Baekhyun turns the brightest shade of pink all over yet. „I never thought you’d like me back this way.“

„Really?“

„Of course…“

„God,“ you laugh, „oh God.“

„And who said you can’t drink all you want from me? That’s literally what I was gonna offer—“

You are already shoulder deep leaning into the water with your arms grabbing hold of his tail. Some of the water even gets into your nose and it’s terribly soapy from Baekyun’s shampoo, but saturated with enough blood to knock a tidal wave of adrenaline right through your system.

This is the freshest and warmest you’ve ever had it. It’s feeling like a shark in the water. The lithe red clouds wavering through the tub loosely clinging to your face and lips makes you go weak in the legs. It tastes sweet like actual candy. And it’s so, so… familiar. Being surrounded by all that cherry pink water is better than a coffin nap and no garlic pizza combined. This is way too good. You can be glad your air is running out and the wound begins to close behind scales getting back into order.

„Wow! You can hold your breath for a long time,“ Baekhyun gasps when you surface.

„I didn’t,“ you cough, and take two minutes to gather yourself.  But not exactly because of that much water getting inside of you. Rather, the blood is showing its very effect already. „The wound should be fine, um,“ is all you can say, but Baekhyun only smiles in reply.

„Oh? You don’t look full in the very least.“ he swipes his hands over his wet neck and pats it. „Try it here!“

Oh please no, not the patting and the slapping. It brings all the best veins out, oh fucking no. But he continues to do just that. At this rate—

„Can’t guarantee I’m not getting really horny.“

„Huh? If you’re not I’d be worried. Didn’t you say you want to mate with me?“

„Well… yes.“

„I’m just really honored, I need a little moment.“

„You don’t have a problem with me just… vandalizing your neck?“

„Isn’t that what it’s for? It doesn’t suck itself.“

Baekhyun, with the most innocent little expression, continues just as before kneading into the sides of his neck. His long… tan, glistening piece of art neck. You probably look like a starving wet poodle preying for a bone, and then there’s him in the tub, sparkling like a water god with his beautiful cherry hair and droopy brown eyes.

With every smack on the side of his neck, your pants squarely decide to get a little more soaked. Maybe because it sounds like you’re already fucking. Maybe because his neck is bursting with everything a girl needs. It doesn’t suck itself, huh. And your canines are in best shape because you floss them twice a day just like Taeyong said. Uh oh.

„I’m so sorry I… I think I’ll tear you up.“ Why does it have to be so long and throbbing. His smell is turning your brain inside out and back again. „God Baekhyun, you’re tormenting me.“

„Hey, not fair! That’s your job,“ he’s pouting again, and probably begins to realize he’s been doing more prep than most porn stars nowadays because the kneading stops. Without much further ado, Baekhyun squarely beckons you to climb into the tub.

„Are you really ready—“

„Don’t worry, Taemin is great at cleaning the tiles. He actually loves doing that.“

„I want to make this enjoyable to you, Baekhyun, so…“

„I don’t know, you don’t have to please me or anything,“ he shakes his head. „That you like me is already overwhelming enough.“

„A bite is serious business. I still want you to enjoy it like I do.“

„If you want that. Just, just do it harder,“ Baekhyun wriggles himself up, pinker than ever. „If we’re doing it unprotected… I want this properly.“

Finished off with a shy smile. This guy is making you go times more nuts than the first raw blood you had in that chalice. You start to understand what Mark really meant by recently mentioning how Baekhyun’s parents gave him „A certain inclination“. A well nymph and Asmodeus, demon of lust, combining? That could not possibly create anything less than somebody so enticing.

„Baekhyun, always tell me if I should stop, I, I try to rein myself in, okay. You’re too delicious…“

„My veins stop swelling, just bite already,“ he sways his tail, keeps on rubbing into in throat again with his flat palm. „Just don’t worry. You’d have a hard time draining me. You saw my body just heals itself fast.“

„Yeah. Merman thing. Mark said that.“

„You can also fuck me if you want to.“

„Baekhyun, you really don’t have to offer yourself just because my body is going crazy.“

„But I’d really enjoy it. How aroused are you?“

„In all honesty… Bram Stoker novels level horny.“

„I’m not gonna leave you like that.“

And something in his tone tells you that Baekhyun has it all figured out.

As much as your wobbly legs permit it, you get into the tub more or less elegantly. You already want to apologize for mounting him that way, but Baekhyun squarely sits you down on his crotch with his hands on your waist. That his wrist and knuckle veins have gotten the word does not go unmissed by your tunnel vision. All those pulsing underarm serpentines… leading your gaze upwards, and more, and more. Up, up, until you cannot rip your gaze from his puffy little throat. Baekhyun lets out a content little hum and lifts his chin. You really get the full damn view.

„Sorry teeth, I’ll devirginize you. No more blood oranges,“ you babble to yourself, and you can tell your brain just switched off all inhibition. You never thought you’d be slurring your words about what types of emergency fleshlights you use, all in a bath tub with a merman. „About time I pop my cherry boy.“

„Exactly right,“ Baekhyun proudly huffs, and leans back. With his Adam’s apple bulging out his throat even more, you lose all trains of thought and just grab him by either side of his head. You sink your teeth in as far as the power in your jaw can drive them, and going by how his pulse is beating inside your ears, you drilled them in pretty damn hard. Oh fuck. Beginner’s mistake. A huge gush comes out to spritz against the back of your own throat, and you almost pass out from the incredibleness of the taste.

It’s too much at once. You’re hanging by a mere thread. All your body does is follow whatever its instinct dictates. Grabbing Baekhyun by his hair is all you can keep track of, shoving your teeth right up his throat again all dissipates in a blur because your entire mouth is dripping full with him. He’s moaning so loud right now, his neck vibrates along.

„Yes…!“

You don’t want to be a weakling. And, get yourself to swallow for the first time — but then. regret it right away. His blood melting down your esophagus is like a liquid marriage proposal on the Eiffel tower. You don’t know where the noise comes from, but the birds are singing. Once it’s down your stomach and pooling there, you’re already high as fuck. Grinding erraticly all over Baekhyun’s more than steel hard boner that parts upward through the scales of his crotch. He’s really giving you all the best things.

You bury your whole face in his neck. No more neatness. All you do is let your tongue loose and drag your mouth all over his face, and his chin, and his lips, and his jaw, and all of his neck. Every angle, every side, every nook and cranny until your mouth is bursting full with all of his sweet-tasting sweat and pinkish blood that has thinned out with the water dripping from his gills. If it wasn’t diluted, you’d probably forget your own name.

You melt your teeth into his pulsing skin. A vibrant image opens before your inner eye. You’re getting visions of the beach and you as seen through Baekhyun’s eyes. And then— Baekhyun from an outside perspective, swirling through the water the moment after he saw you walk at the quay for the first time. Singing so beautifully, your ears are ringing and you never want to hear anything else.

His blood is all over your lips and chest, your training print shirt. You admit you’re tempted not to ever wash that thing even if Taemin politely asks you to or Yukhei calls it crazy. You want it to be as sullied as a white shirt can possibly get. What must be your eleventh bite in a row gives you a particularly big shot right to the tongue. It’s so much, Baekhyun’s blood starts running out of your nose, only to get back onto your lips that suck up all that candy right away all over again.

Being all drenched in Baekhyun’s nicely bloodied wonder shampoo water and your own horny leaking shit at the same time, your pussy is double wet and way, way too ready to get stuffed up with all that merman dick. You never thought that he would be any larger than your thumb, but you’re mistaken.

„No wonder Yukhei has been keeping you outside the club so often.“

„You can have it as often as you want, eight times a day, I’ll manage to be there, don’t worry.“

It’s so stiff and glides into you so easily, you groan out loud and loose a whole portion of blood from all that open mouth. It sprinkles over Baekhyun’s little nose and lips, and makes his way down to his belly. The scent is turning your brain upside down. You find yourself hooked on his nose, sucking and licking it with your pussy reaching the meaty base of what’s all the way inside you now. All the precum he’s leaking into you is taking its time, but comes down to cream you up when he starts moving. Really smudgy thrusts from below, several big fat fillings from above that you can have your fun gargling on the back of your tongue. Baekhyun knows what makes you happy. You squeeze every bit your can get out of his throat and plunge your teeth inside of him far enough to feel his vocal chords vibrating during his moans. You don’t wanna damage those. So you decide to switch things around a little and slip off his cock. It’s grown a lot inside of you and peaks out the water still brimming. The whole tub gets a taste of soapy foam mixed with Baekhyuns semen and lord knows how much delicious red cherry juice that you’ve been milking out of him. Oh god, you feel like cumming. You turn Baekhyun underneath you so the back of his head comes to face you, and you bow down to violently bury and seesaw your teeth in his nape like a lion shaking a little prey animal. His little helpless moans are so melodic and out of this world, you do notice you forgot your own name. Well, he can tell you afterwards so, no problem. For now, you made him completely yours. You don’t miss how Baekhyun didn’t reach down to get himself a hand but has grown even harder.

Going by how much he’s been begging you to do your carnage on him, and you’re tempted to ask him, you know for a fact Baekhyun would probably fanboy like mad and ooze his cum all over the place if you broke his neck altogether, but you decide that’s probably way too edgy for now. And too much, hello. His body can heal anything in a matter of five minutes, doesn’t mean you have to challenge it with a clean snap during the first time. That’s a schtick for the later fucks, maybe a birthday. Just when you find that what you’re doing with his little nape all between your jaws is way too sick for a novice, a string of tiny „please, please, please!“ noises spurs you to sink in deeper and even work your tongue just like it’s a french kiss.

„Oh woah, ah! Do it, do it more!“ His pleasure screames and demands for roughing him up leave no second for a pause. At this point, you’re just digging in and he’s all the way close to going off like a bomb. Taemin doesn’t just have to clean the tiles alone, there’s gonna be sperm everywhere. Probably even as far as the door, and that one’s all opposite to the bath tub and four meters away.

Now that you’re so snugly penetrating with your fangs pierced in around his spine from either side, you notice how Baekhyun has successfully corrupted you into a sadistic freak. The more blood seeps into your mouth, the lewder your slurping gets, and the tub water has long gone from pink to very crimson like it’s the type of apples Taeyong loves to test his fangs on pretty much daily just for practice. You swallow again, and this time, a wave of Baekhyun’s sexual fantasies crashes down on you.

Looks like since you’re closer to his central nervous system, you’re tapping his entire stream of thoughts. However this works, it’s giving your pussy severe missing-cock-disease. Drinking and swallowing repeatedly makes the visions even more vivid. The images are so vast and animated, you can hardly keep up. His face, buried between your thighs. His tongue, dragged all over your legs. You riding his tail like it’s thighs. A big gush of semen between your breasts. You slobbering blood all over his cock and making good use of its protruding veins. Images of you cumming and screaming his name. Baekhyun screaming even louder because he can. Baekhyun sucking his fingers and you licking his wrists clean. Baekhyun cumming inside you and everything bursting right out because holy shit, that’s a lot.

You want his dick and properly connect to his lips for the first time now, so you ease your teeth out of his nape, much to his protesting. You cave in and give him another bite, and make it brutal so he begins squeaking and gasping that he’ll cum. Now that you have him there, you can venture a second try and turn him around. Because you’re afraid of blowing up the second you sit on his cock again, so you start with his lips.

Kissing Baekhyun is all you expected and even more than that. Even if you’re so saturated with his blood that your taste buds are on fire, you can still clearly taste how sweet he is. Everything about him is so delicious and he’s so cute. All that pleasant taste and the gentleness of his tongue has you riding up and down his cock in less than a minute. Busy like a New York high rise elevator. Gentleman he is, Baekhyun retorting with his own thrusts feels nothing short of whipped cream consistency fucked into you with a headspin-inducing mega girth. Where he mustered that one from, only Neptune knows.

Since the entire water is ripe with his blood, that can’t go without pumping some of it into you. You’ve never found yourself horny all over your period even if the scent does make you tingle, but now, somebody else’s blood squeezed into you? Your legs feel like doing somersaults. You’re probably asking for too much, but you hope your walls soak it all up, his pre-cum included. Hell, if all that mixture shoots up in your womb, you’d probably be on a permanent high for one week. Who would have thought. This giggly little merman has turned you mad and lawless.

It doesn’t take for very long that Baekhyun’s tongue has been wrecking a havoc of pleasure between your fangs and has started bleeding after deliberately giving himself a small little prick with them, you want to get bursting full with his cum now, you can’t wait any longer. You lost your breath so it takes a few seconds until you can verbalize it, but when you do, Baekhyun doesn’t take even half a minute to have you pussy bubbling with a particularly scented load of deliciously fertile semen.

It’s such a huge amount, you have to hold onto his upper arms. Baekhyun breathes like he’s curently swimming a marathon, and has his eyes closed to concentrate on giving you the best to the best. What makes you moan is just how wildly his cock is throbbing and pumping against your cervix, that girl has never seen an avalanche of white stuff like this, she’s so lucky she gets to see this up close. Baekhyun has sunken so deep into his orgasm, he’s starting to mumble some kinds of magic words. Which seem to be directed at keeping his dick hard and keeping the cum flowing just like that.

„Shit, I want that in my mouth,“ you promptly decide, and pull your all-loaded pussy off, causing leakage all over the water. You turn to prop his cock between your lips, and Baekhyun makes it no secret that he won’t hesitate sucking his creampie right out of you. So while you’re busy sliding your tongue up and down all that veiny shaft, Baekhyun glides his nose and chin between your slippery pussy lips. The stimulation of his tongue has you twitching and stuffing his cock even deeper until your mouth is nothing but filled except a few remaining spots.

His cum is all fizzy in your mouth, it’s the most addictive thing. You decide that all that vanilla ice cream needs a juicy strawberry sauce to top it off. You do exactly what Baekhyun’s steamy fantasies displayed to you. That you lock your horny fangs deep inside of Baekhyun’s cock and squeeze him out by the liter for sperm and cherry milk is already having your eye lids flutter because you’re that stoned. Not to mention that you will smell like candy to the lycans and certainly also Taeyong for at least a whole month.

You’re the farmer, he’s the maple tree, and Baekhyun’s blood the runny, sugary syrup. The mix with his semen tastes like you bite right into a large fresh lemon and melon popsicle. and swallowing comes easy once you got into the rhythm of his continuous little bursts. Your stomach is telling you oh babe, I adore you for this. It’s stuffing full a) with the one thing is needs and b) the other thing it loves. All while Baekhyun’s bloody tongue is having a party on your clit and you can’t help but heavily rock your pussy all slapping up against his face.

The friction is unbearable, it makes you sopping wet on top of already being shot up with a ton of cream. Which now faithfully drops right into Baekhyun’s awaiting mouth and his nostrils along the way. He just snorts it up, gathers it on his tongue, then swallows it down like it’s a mild cold. The noise is so disgusting, it’s so sexy. You didn’t know mermen were this hardcore. You bet your fangs Yukhei can’t do that.

Baekhyun keeps on slurping on your creampie like it’s a desert pudding, and puckers his brazen lips to suck your clit between giving it little kisses and licks. The point where you forgot not just your name but your hometown and birth day is already passed, with Baekhyun indulging your pussy like that, you even forgot about planet earth being a thing.  His petite „Aw pretty“ and „So tasty“ noises have you clenching up and wildy deepthroating whatever impossible length of his dick is still left.

It’s oozing out too much to deal with at this point, so you just let it flow into the bath water. Your mouth being so slobbery, Baekhyun’s cock pulsing in and out of it causes a wet, hollow noise. It’s strangely satisfying and dirty to hear, you just love it. The blood seeping into your mouth makes you spiral even deeper and resorting to drift off into a wonderworld again, blowing big pink cum bubbles while you’re dreaming of Baekhyun in a groom suit out of nowhere.

Swimming at the edge of a pool, he’s stroking your hair and admiring your skin that seems so completely without any veins. Cut to Baekhyun standing in the kitchen with an apron making pancakes, drizzled with what can’t possibly just normal strawberry sauce. He perfectly balances himself on his tail to stand upright, and you’re wearing a Christmas sweater signed by Christopher Lee and Bela Lugosi.

Image three, Baekhyun massaging your feet with his pretty hands while you watch Nosferatu Reloaded on television. He whispers sweet nothings but they mean everything to you. Image four, a big house with a nice water system inside, and on top of that, a really shapely coffin that smells so dusty and snugly by just looking at it, you’re enamored with no return. Oh my god, there’s a moth plague in that house, too, and the garden grows nightshade!

Swallowing the remaining semen, thick and marshmallow-y as it so savoringly is, you shift back to your senses. Shit, that was a ride. You have a hard time letting go of his cock, but he’s not sustaining it with a spell at this point. Rather, it closes back behind his scales. Probably regenerating, you sucked and performated the shit out of it. Preoccupied, Baekhyun is still busier than ever making your pussy his personal oozing face grave, he’s particularly enjoying the digging part with the tongue. You promise to unearth him once he’s zombiefied, can’t let the poor tiny merguy just drown in there.

To think that he could do all the things you saw makes you furiously thrust back and hear his face smack into you. All of the cum he pumped into you is slathered all over his mouth and makes it all the easier to get all the clit stimulation you want from his bottom lip in particular. That he catches a hang of it and moves right along doesn’t help with your arousal. Your entire lower body is so heated and bustling, any south-Texan bat cave is a joke compared to that.

You hardly catch a direct glimpse of what’s going on, but from the reflection in the tiles you can see that Baekhyun’s hair has changed its color to how it naturally grew according to Mark’s seemingly random chronicle recital on Monday. Baekhyun only ever does it when he’s really serious about something and vulnerable enough. You can tell be picked up the pace and makes sure not one lick will miss.

With that level of determination, Baekhyun is sure to earn your moans and shaky thighs after a mere minute or two. You think that because he’s part demon, his tongue is… a bit longer and pointier and stronger than the average merman’s. It’s simply how the genes tend to mix and your clit very well feels that. The way he’s driving in the tip of the tongue in rapid sequences that resemble Ten’s piano suites, you’re tipped over the edge hard enough to grab at his tail not to slip from the massive tremble that rocks you.

Your orgasm rolls your eyes back to places even ghouls could dream of, and the amount of pleasure is so strong that your hearing and vision sets out for a solid ten seconds. You just scream and moan and scream again, and Baekhyun’s face gets one massive cum shower all over again. He’s not shy to move his mouth and head around like a madman, so your cum ends up being stuck in his hair altogether. Through even more frantic sucking and kissing, he seeks to prolong your high for another fifteen seconds of blissed out grinding against his face. You drank so much blood, you

By now, your face must look so blown up with all that cum and Baekhyun marked up so relentlessly, even if his bite marks have closed by now, Kai must think you switched roles going by your scents.

„Really sorry for my big cock.“

„Your blood… does it cause random hallucinations or something of that sort, can you direct it in any way?“

„It causes prophetic visions in some cases, if you experience it clearly as an image it will come true. Did you see something?“

„Um. Lots of things. Let’s say I… liked what I saw.“

„Actually, don’t tell me. I like being surprised.“

„Doesn’t it take 50 years until the egg fertilizes?“

„47, 48 is usual. Mermen cum is really slow but it’ll get there.“

„Nice. Isn’t the firstborn always a girl?“

„Yep.“

„We’ll name her after the song that’s always on the human radio, what is it again. Janine?“

„Jolene I’m thinking. I think it was that kind of song.“

„Yeah, I like that. And in the meanwhile we have some time, do we.“

„We can just go on like that. What are you thinking?“

„Shit, shit. I’ll suck you dry, Baekhyun, you don’t even know.“

„My blood regenerates the fastest among all half-species. Shouldn’t be a problem.“

„And what will we do about Yukhei’s mating drive?“

„Don’t worry. He’ll smell it.“

You pull the bathtub plug with a heavy heart and begin washing Baekhyun down. The blood doesn’t seem to stick to him very easily, which is as unsurprising as you not getting it off your own body. Even with his whatever pricey merguy body scrub thingy thing that’s normally used to keep gills and scales in shape. Resorting to staying bloodied for the day is nothing you’ll particularly hate, though.

Ten minutes later, you find a very unsettled Yukhei standing at the window of your designated club office, not able to meet your eyes for more than a second. In that expensive black tux, and you… in your bathing robe with blood all over your hair, and just a pair of Baekhyun’s sparkling light blue and silver ‚i ♡ dolphins‘ socks he borrowed you. He can’t wear them anyway, but they were so cute that he ordered them online.

Very much naked underneath all that, and water running down your legs in drops, alongside— something that does not feel like water. You already plan to hop right back into the shower and do the rest of the cleaning. The sex is great, but vampire hygiene is a pain in the ass sometimes. The scent must be killing him. You don’t even have to sit down for the word spill to start.

„Y/N.“

„I told you I don’t like you sneaking in here.“

„After working out. And, you know my senses are always heightened after this…“

„What is it now, hellboy. Just cut to the chase.“

„Please let me talk for a minute. I came walking by in the northern corridor,“ he starts out low once again. „You talked about your wings sprouting and you were being open with him. So—“

„You listened to us!“

He keeps his lips tight, not granting any reply.

„Piece of shit, you! You’re an all-round asshole.“

The water contained in a silver jug on the office table goes right over Yukhei’s head. He doesn’t react, lets you poor it all over him stoically. You hope it’s particularly cold. Since the water is silver-infused, it stings him, but he takes it.

„I can’t switch my nose and ears off, even at such a distance. It… it just reeks, alright. I just heard what was going on without intending. The talk, the— I didn’t know what it would develop into.“

„From start to finish. Am I right?,“ you dig your nails into your palms. „And you didn’t just walk off like you fucking should. So stop blaming your ears or what topics we started out with or whatever! You talk about mating behind my back, you eavesdrop, you invade my office just like this. Do you think that’s gonna make me marry you on the spot?“

All the magical afterglow — ruined. You cast the jug into a random corner and prop down at your desk. Yukhei wipes the wet bangs out of his face and turns from the window to face you now.

„I’ll stop with all this. Okay. I don’t want to treat you like a crusade machine against my dad or just to satisfy me. I’m sorry if I’m like you said. I’m just a stupid voyeur. I really didn’t want to.“

Yeah. Of course.

„If I spied on you? You’d be kicking me out in a hearbeat,“ you cross your arms and leave them in deadlock. „And what, you’ll stop what?“

„Training you for your position and fighting dad’s army.“

„Eh.“

„I know very well that’s Kai’s job and mine.“

„No shit, Yukhei.“

„And that we should defend more and not just plan the attack. You don’t enjoy the training as much as the normal recruit. You said you’d rather be talking with Baekhyun and that you chose him as a mate.“

„You’ll change your program?“

„A lycan will respect a no. We’re determined but not a creep. And my nose works perfectly fine.“

„What?“

„I’ll be realistic, I don’t think I could satisfy you like him.“

Now that sounds very different from all he’s ever said. You turn your chair toward him and stare Yukhei down.

„I’m listening.“

„I’m not stupid, okay.“

„Inaccurate, but go on.“

„You’d… bite me once and either I bleed out if I control myself or go wolf when I don’t. That’s lose-lose.“

„So you got that all of a sudden,“ you murmur. Yukhei just keeps on talking. It’s almost a prepared monologue.

„I’m a wolf, okay. I only get it when I smell it.“

„That’s some weird shit but fair enough, Mark says that too.“

„You smell like you had almost nine liters in one go. The whole fucking mansion feels like a butchery just opened. How many times did you bite him, fifty, sixty?“

„As if I’m counting. Do you count down when you drink water? You have it easy, you’re normal when you’re not in the moonlight. I’m vampire all the time.“

„What I try to say is. I don’t boast that much regenerating ability even if I wish I had.“

„And you realize that only now.“

„I came here to be honest. I gravely underestimated Baekhyun. You bit his nape and he really enjoyed it.“

„Well thanks for the information. About my private business…“

Yukhei’s senses must be really sharp to discern all of this. He might have stood in the bathroom in person. And if he knows it, Kai does tenfold if he was anywhere near the house. His senses are time-tested and four times as trained.

„I know that doing a bite like that is a big deal in half-breed… couples.“

„You’d find that inacceptable for me to do on you, wouldn’t you.“

Silence again. You tap your feet. Yukhei ends up nodding.

„To the extrent of how you reacted when I grabbed you by the hair. We’re not much different. Trying to make someone ours. Call me possessive but you’re also territorial. You didn’t just bite his neck tonight.“

„You understand why I said we’re not compatible. then.“

Yukhei remains silent for a while after that.

„The tension between our kinds has a reason.“

„No way. Never thought of that. Totally groundbreaking news.“

„We’d probably kill each other when we fuck. Simply because of what we naturally do. We’re suited for other species. Baekhyun matches you very well with his abilities. I admit that even if it hurts my pride.“

„One man’s trash another man’s pleasure.“

„You’re not trash. You know you’re my MVP here. And Baekhyun is going to please you well himself. He’s not as selfish as I am. He’s 290 years old, he’s very experienced.“

„Your instincts are really dying for a mate, don’t they.“

„Just like you deflate to a literal zombie when you’re not drinking, I can’t go without my pack hierarchy being complete. You go stupid when you sense blood, I go stupid when my senses aren’t challenged and I have to suppress my form. It’s that easy.“

„Now tell me something I don’t know.“

You comb your fingers through your hair. It’s kind of comforting right now. Yukhei comes to sit at your desk now himself, opposite to you.

„I should have left you to your own devices when you picked your spot at the fire place already.“

„What do you mean?“

„We left you seven empty places, right.“

„So that was not a coincidence.“

„We spiked each cup with a blood probe of each member. Enough to emenate a scent, but small enough not to have you figure out which cup belongs to whom. Especially not in a room with so many people was it possible to tell that apart so it worked.“

And of course they put up flowers to further confuse you. It was all planned.

„Did you… you…“

„It was a test. I made it so that if was covert enough and fair to everyone.“

„Fair? What the hell did you do with me!“

„Find out whose blood you like the very most. It was my idea. I wanted to see if I have a chance with you or not.“

„That’s insidious.“

„You picked Baekhyun’s probe right away. And you even drank a second cup. That should’ve answered my question by that point.“

That’s why the blood in the cup was so strangely shimmery. You knew that was familiar when you slept with Baekhyun, but couldn’t connect the dots entirely because there was so much soap in the water.

„And you still kept on talking about mating with me?“

„I didn’t know about your heritage before you came to us.“

„So?“

„That gave me a second chance that I hoped you would reconsider. Because it’s tradition tha—“

You smack Yukhei right across the face with your right backhand.

„Never say that word again.“

„And you said you’re here to tell the truth anyway. It’s a shallow excuse to get with me.“

„I’m not denying that, Y/N.“

„It’s been clear to you who I like since our first words. You’re acting like you can bend me to your wishes. You tested me and knew I wasn’t into you. Why?“

„It’s like when you couldn’t take your eyes off your cup. We’re not far apart with our instincts.

„I never said that’s a lie, Yukhei.“

„You can’t expect me not to get the hots if you’re lying there on the table without your top on. And I already controlled myself. I did my best, alright.“

This man is infuriating. You wish you had more silver water to splash him with.

„Taemin was right, Taeyong should’ve done the examination. Touching me fucked with your virgin head. You’re just hunting some one-sided dream looking for some omega girl that fits into your ideology thing.“

„Well you’re right.“

„Unfortunate.“

„But at the same time at least acknowledge that I realized we wouldn’t fit together. I changed my mind about that prospect okay, I’m trying.“

„That you’d make the worst blood bank ever is already clear.“

„I really wouldn’t.“

„Just know that the next time you’re trying to own me or do your wolf stalking shit. Or try to mess with Baekhyun. I’ll be skinning your hairy back with Taeyong’s 17th-century silver dagger and use you as a mud boots doormat.“

„I’ll control my senses as good as I can.“

„Leave away the last part of the sentence.“

„I’ll control my senses.“

„Ma’am.“

„I’ll control my senses, Ma’am.“

„You’re one desperate little shit. Club president and you need to be trained like a rowdy dog. How old are you again?“

„Last time I checked, 21.“

„Not surprised Kai still calls you a puppy and Ten thinks you’re a giant baby.“

„I say, found your own club if you can’t handle it.“

„That would put it back to square one. The only problem is you being horny for the wrong person, the rest are only consequences.“

„As if I can control what my nose tells me. And you know that the very best.“

„You’re still mad your own test backfired,“ you remember the cups put up in the fireplace room.

„Is it wrong wishing you would’ve chosen my blood?“

„Yes, after I clearly made my pick.“

„Then that’s that.“

„That’s that.“

„So what are we gonna do?“

„You cut your wolfy shit, that’s all. It’s creepy. And don’t annoy Taeyong either. You got me? Just stay in your own lane.“

„If I can.“

„Are you the president or are you not?“

„Fair enough.“

Taeyong rings a bell, and you gather for some tea under the backyard Wisteria. Shrimps are served, and Taeyong even bothered to prepare a minestrone that’s wonderfully dark red. Lucas savagely chews on raw chicken wings, Ten relaxes in a hammock, Mark writes, Taemin knits, and Baekhyun plays in the nearby pool, watching and listening and chatting, upbeat as always.

Kai arrives the very last in his post-jog showering robe, but greets you the very loudest in front of everyone.

„Hey, hey! I heard you waterboarded yourself to get some soapy red juice!“

Some confusion at his word choice, some giggles.

„So that’s been making the roun—“

„Amazing! That’s my girl,“ Kai burst out and pats you on the back so passionately, it feels like a freight train hits you.

„O—okay?“

„That greed is all I ever wanted to bring out in training! Where was that determination when we peeled garlic? I tried every method in the book to get you to that point!“

Awkward silence among the members. Then, some shrugs. Mark seems to be the only one who doesn’t get it. Figures, half-goblins don’t have hyper-developed senses. Thank God, his innocent soul. The club chronicles would be filled with details of you doing all sorts of things in a bath tub because Mark never leaves out anything unless he’s currently dropping a pen out of nervousness. Which doesn’t happen anymore.

„Kai, um… I still don’t think you understand what really motivates a vampire,“ Taeyong scratches his head, with you well-aware that he can smell merman blood across the entire house without even trying himself.

„So, what is it, then?“ Kai puffs himself up, arms crossed. „I’m the fucking trainer of how many species again? I should know best!“

It doesn’t take two seconds for a heated discussion to break out. The Venerable Pyramid of Essential Vampire Needs — which author defined it the most accurately? Which peer-reviewed vampire journals are trustworthy? Which interviewed populace is the most reflective of all vampirekind? Serbia, Romania, Turkey, Russia, Greece, overseas?

Everybody wants to weigh in: Taeyong and Mark at the forefront, with Kai and Lucas saying the exact opposite of what they expertly claim just because. Ten starts trolling them with made-up facts („a vampire’s #1 need is premium cellar dust!“), Taemin unsuccessfully tries to calm everybody down with a theory that considers all perspectives, and the tea gets colder and colder.

In the meantime, you squat down at the pool and muse over Baekhyun’s hair in the wind. You twirl it and tell him he’s gorgeous. He whispers just how good you smell. Why debate about essential vampire needs when it’s all right before your eyes.

Thinking about it. It was all about which relationship was mutual. That’s what the decision had been all about, and yes, it had been crystal clear from the very start. Lucas desperately wanted you, but it was one-sided. Mark was flustered by you, but didn’t make a move, nor did you have feelings for him. Taeyong you loved, but his age and mentor status were incompatible with turning it into a relationship. You understood him, but it was motivated by an admiration — there was a pedestal, which again made it one-sided. Ten was a mystery, it wasn’t clear on either part, and leaving each other guessing was no good sign instead of going about your ways. Kai was a compelling man, but had his piece of cake and aspired to different things. Baekhyun — he loves you and you love him.

A powerful engine revvs in the nearby garage, then, the motor stops. Onto the Wisteria jogs Ten with a huge bag of groceries.

„Hello, hello!“

Everybody greets him and picks their favorite snack from his bag. He really thought of everything. Yukhei and Jongin get a huge pile of meat from the car trunk’s cooling box. As a crowning finale, Ten presents you with the latest newpaper. The front page splayed out on the Wisteria’s main table causes everyone to steer and gasp.

SHOCKING!

SATAN’S HEAVENLY RETURN

Ruling hell too stressful after all?

„Rumor has it the King finally got bored of chatting with God and kicked out Satan from the 9th circle without much further ado.“

„No way!“ you toss and turn the newspaper. Five whopping pages are filled with cover story details.

„So dear horned guy went back to where he came from,“ Ten shrugs, then points at the snapshots all over the newspaper. „I mean look at it. This is all just a big ole jealousy drama.“

Who knows God talked some sense into Lucifer.

„I know that dad was getting envious about the King associating with the arch angels,“ Yukhei says. You start to get why. Satan had the privileges of being an archangel for who knows how long until he reached puberty and rebelled or whatever.

„Doesn’t that mean dad has the throne back now?“ you ask.

„Yup,“ Ten turns to page three, where @king_beli’s instagram feed is filled with selfies of the 9th circle, posing with Sisyphus, and throwing peace signs in a sulphurous-looking throne hall. 666,000 likes after just 6 hours. If that’s not a good sign.

You keep on debating how exactly Satan got kicked out so effortlessly until Taeyong rolls in a little swirly metal wagon after the tea is finished. On top of it: An almost ancient relic that Alexander Graham Bell probably built himself.

„Sir, the Hell Telephone might be a good idea right now.“

„Your turn Y/N,“ Yukhei declines, ushering Taeyong to bring the wagon to your side of the table. You dial and wait roughly half a minute.

„Sorry, I was partying,“ a voice creaks through the old speaker. „How can I help? Isn’t this Club Daemon speaking? Is it who I think it is?“

„Hey dad.“

„It is!“

„Hello. You’ve heard about me, then.“

„Yup yup! That you’re Yukhei’s personal dog trainer is what Kai wrote me on Whatsapp! Did you really pour silver water on him? That’s funny as hell!“

„Oh God.“

„I say that a lot these days as well, man. Sorry, we have some music blasting here by the way!“

„Hey dad, what actually happened with God and Satan?“

„Ah, long ass story. Satan chickened out recently, hell is one hell of a job you know. New job opportunity for me. But you gotta take it easy and have fun.“

„I can tell.“

A spitfire verse of what sounds like Megan Thee Stallion is currently pumping through the telephone. Ten grooves right along in his hammock, smiling way too ominously. You can tell he knows every bar by heart. He’s been listening to the human radio way too much during his errants.

„I’m only stressed because the furniture is terrible.“

„The what?“

„In the years of my absence, horned geezer got a little too creative with the design, you know. I’m more of a romantic.“

„So… you just moved in there just because.“

„You could say that, yeah!“

Confused shrugging among the club members. Belial keeps on babbling and blasting something else at the other end of the line. It must be K-Pop or something like that.

„Talk about romance, I hear you have a mate?“

„Yeah dad, it’s Baekhyun.“

„Oh him? I’ve heard of that guy! The merman!“

„He’s really sweet.“

„Make many cute demon babies alright. That would be so adorable. I’m all ready to cuddle wuddle them. I actually came up with baby name suggestions.“

„Dad!“

„You know, 80 years ago. I met your mom…“

„Dad, I don’t wanna hear your love stories. Rather tell me what happened to mom. What did Satan do?“

„Listen here. That was a stupid rumor Azazel was spreading because he’s a gossip man!“ Belial rages at the other end of the line. „Your mom was 8906, alright. She died of diabetes. You got adopted by humans she found trustworthy and planned to be your caretakers.“

„That was all planned?!“

„You were… a bit too young for hell back then. She wanted to leave you the choice later on in life whether you want to be in a clan or come here, or neither of that. I know being a half-breed isn’t easy. And you should get into all these worlds by your own devices. I learned about all of this only much later you see. I’ve been hanging out in the clouds for some time. It’s pretty chill there. But now I’m happy to hear from you.“

„Yeah.“

„If you got anything you need paid? Rent, marriage, car, diapers? Just ask me when needed.“

„I dunno…“

Looks like your dad is a rather forward thinker indeed. Well, least he thought it through.

„If you need it spontaneously and I’m not available, just force Yukhei to give you some pocket money.“

„I don’t have to force him. He already does that without me even asking.“

„That’s what I call a great president!“

„He literally thinks my bank account is free real estate where he can dump anything. I can’t even manage all that,“ you roll your eyes, with Yukhei grinning his most satisfied smile at the end of the table.

On the more unsatisfied end, Kai is about to jump up and sock him in the chest. You know damn well his salary hasn’t been increasing since Yukhei discovered his unsolicited Sugar Daddy hobby. You can buy Baekhyun some extra cotton candy now, but you’ll have to figure out a way to transfer some pocket money to Kai yourself. Now really, he’s been training the shit out of you.

„Even better! Cheers to him. He’s too straight for his own good sometimes though. Anyways. You can drop by as soon as we cleaned up here. We’ll open the circles of hell completely next month.“

„Okay, that’s good news!“

„Once you get pregnant, make sure you two find a flaming cave apartment on the east side! You really wanna raise your kids here. Hellraiser, get it?“

„The east side is too hot for Baekhyun. His tub water would just evaporate, man.“

„Oh! Then the west side. A nice penthouse with panoramic views on a volcano. You’ll get a baking Pompeii face mask every time you’re stepping out! There’s so much ash raining down, your kid can do snow angels on every pavement. Don’t worry, I’ll pay for everything.“

In the meantime, the party guests are blasting Caramelldansen in the background and louds clapping numbs your ears.

„Dad…. you realize you have a lot of clown energy, right? Do you even hear me?“

„Talk about clowns, actually,“ the king carries on completely unbothered. „Mammon really wants to see Kai too, I think he’s missing him. He’s calmed down a little after the Corona crisis messed with his bank account.“

Commotion at the table. Kai almost chokes on his cold tea.

„That’s unexpected… I thought he’d never do that.“

„Yeah aw, I know,“ your father says. „Satan has spread a lot of fake news while he was here, you see.“

„We’re glad to be welcome then? That sounds like a good idea to meet up some time. Maybe for a day or two.“

„Strike! I convinced you!“

„Yeah, you did…“

„Few of you saw hell back in the day, right?“

„Yukhei, Kai, I dunno who else, Ten I’m guessing.“

Nods from the hammock. Wouldn’t be strange if Ten was a regular hell driver.

„Oh Ten! Greet Ten from me. His instagram is what I aspire to. Ten is the coolest. Even the ghouls I know don’t have that kind of fashion sense.“

„Will do.“

„And— about aspirations. We’ll be talking about your heir thing when the time is right you see, I know you want to know about all of this.“

You perk up, as do the club members.

„It’s a thing for the future. I’m not hellbent or anything,“ you say, tongue in cheek.

„Hah! You’re funny. I see we’re agreeing on this. You’re very busy with Baekhyun, right. Love is priority. Hell later. This place is a lot to handle anyway.“

„…exactly.“

„I know my daughter and I didn’t even meet her yet!“

Taeyong does a little aw noise in the background and even Yukhei has to smile.

„I’ll probably tell the same stories you do and blast the same music in a couple years, I can see it coming.“

„And that’s when you’re ready for the throne. Remember—“

„Gotta keep it easy and make it fun.“

„You got it. Until then, live a tense life man, that’s also needed.“

„Dad, what the hell!“

„I actually mean it. Leave it to your old man to get this 9th circle popping in the meantime.“

You get the image of your father watching youtube music videos all day and trying to keep up with the latest slang words on twitter.

„Okay, crazy old man.“

„At your service!“

It almost makes you laugh how the old generation of full-breed demons is completely gone wild and the youngsters are the opposite. Well, except the half-lycans, but they’re always living on the edge anyway.

„Can I speak to Mister Lee as well? Is he around?“

„Mark or Taeyong or Taemin? We have a lot of Lees.“

„Um, the butler guy.“

„Taeyong, here it goes. See you dad!“

You pass the hellephone, Taeyong poises himself.

„Hey there, young man!“

„Not that young. 552, Sire.“

„Hilarious, you can’t even get a Styx boat license around here at that age. Anyway. Got some news for you.“

„Yes, Mister?“

„Mammon recently splurged on the latest robo fancy schmancy tech stuff from Japan for no reason. I guessed you would want to try one on.“

„Pardon— Try on what?“

„Oh, a prosthetic exo-skeleton I mean. I heard you had beef with the loopy guy. Just drop by whenever.“

„A prosthetic arm aid?“

„Well yes!“

„That’s… that’s very kind of you.“

„No problem! Is the your Professor X available to speak to as well?“

„Of course, Sire, one moment,“ Taeyong composes himself, but you can tell he’s still processing it.

Everybody is on the edge of their seat.

„Hi down there,“ Lucas takes the speaker and leans back in his seat very laxly. Compared to how defeated he looked in your office, his posture is much more unwound now.

„Hi up there, Lucas what’s good?“

„Doing mighty fine these days. You gave us a good headline.“

„Oh, you’re very welcome Mister President. There’s headlines about me?“

The King sounds genuinely surprised.

„Yeah. You’ll have to add me in Kai’s Whatsapp group or give me your number. I’ll update you on these types of things.“

„Note down 1666 2666 3666, and I have some updates for you as well.“

Mark and Taeyong instantly start scribbling the number into their vest notebooks, meanwhile Lucas swirls the tea in his cup around.

„Shoot.“

He begins drinking it.

„Mister Cerberus’ daughter graduated today. Canine sciences. Lovely girl, calls herself Circe, you know, like the evil witch. Very intelligent person. She’s looking for a job and a mate in the upper world. I told her about the Club’s situation and you know, gossipped a little. She says she’s interested in you.“

Lucas spits out the tea.

„Sorry, what?“

„Hey, do you really think you’re not a man in demand? Anybody who studies werewolves knows about you. And you have free membership spots, or is that information outdated?“

„I-Is she a half-breed?“

„Of course, do you think Mister Cerberus would date another demon? That would make no sense! Hell, wouldn’t that be beastitality or something? Is it that what you call it?“

„Uh… Bestiality I thought, Sir.“

„Anyways. I haven’t seen Cerberus with anyone else but werewolves.“

„Werewolves are the closest genetically to hell hounds, Mister President,“ Mark leans in confidentially to brief Yukhei. „It’s good conduct for them to date.“

„Oh, uh, I get it.“

„So, do you want to meet her or not?“

„We, we have free spots all the way!“

„Great then, I’ll send her up the staircase now. She’ll be there in a minute or so.“

„The stai—!”

© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts allowed.

[hercleverboy]

jealous

spencer reid x reader

summary ↠ spencer comes to terms with the fact that the reader will never love him the way he loves her.

category ↠ angst

warnings/includes ↠ heartbreak, unrequited love.

word count ↠ 2.6k

“But I always thought you’d come back, tell me that all you found was heartbreak and misery.” — Jealous by Labrinth

‘I'm jealous of the rain

That falls upon your skin

It's closer than my hands have been

I'm jealous of the rain’

Spencer loved the rain. 

Well, not exactly. He loved to watch how it fell from the grey, angry clouds above as he sat warm and cosy in his apartment. He loved the rain if he was safe inside. He wouldn’tlike to get caught in a downpour, however. 

He watched contently as the droplets fell against the window, staining the glass and jarring his view of the street below. It made him feel peaceful, and he would argue that there was no better sound to read to than that of the rain. 

His focus dropped from the copy of ‘War and Peace’ in his hands, his mind focused on something else entirely. 

Not so much something but someone. 

Y/N had been Spencer’s closest friend for years at that point, having met him a few months after he’d started working at the BAU. 

They spent pretty much any moment they could together. Spencer took her to museum exhibits and art galleries and she would listen intently as he rambled. He’d always stop mid-sentence and blush, apologising for getting ahead of himself but she’d simply smile and shake her head. 

“You don’t ever have to apologise for sharing your wonderful knowledge with me, Spence. You know I could listen to you all day,” She’d say, “Keep going, please?”

He never could say no to her. 

If there was anyone in the world he felt most comfortable with, it was her. She never ridiculed him or babied him like the team had a habit of doing. If there was a case that ended poorly she never pushed for him to confide in her, giving him the time and space to disclose his feelings when he was ready (something he was incredibly grateful for.)

For a long while, things were strictly platonic for Spencer. One day she was his best friend, the person he felt the most himself around, and the next day it was something more. He couldn’t pinpoint the moment in which his feelings for her changed, or what had caused them too. Since when had her welcoming hugs begun feel so warm? At what point had her giggle caused the butterflies in his stomach that he’d only ever read of in great poetry or love stories?

He tried to push the feelings away, he really did, but ultimately his attempts to avoid his newfound affection for her were fruitless. Nothing could be done, he finally had to face the facts. He was in love with her. In love with every adorable quirk, every smile, and every part of her; even the parts she deemed unworthy and ugly, he loved them all the same. 

He wanted her to be his so badly. 

There was only one slight problem. 

Y/N wasn’t his to have. She had a boyfriend, a long term one at that. She was in a committed relationship with a man that wasn’t Spencer and he’d still allowed himself to fall in love with her. 

Nice one, Spencer. 

*

Spencer looked up at the clouds above him, frowning at the sight of the different shades of grey they were. He looked over at Y/N who walked alongside him. He’d gotten them tickets to a Russian Film festival, and he’d insisted she went with him so he could do a simultaneous whisper translation while they watched. 

“It looks like it’s going to rain.” He broke the comfortable silence between them, his voice wavering slightly. 

She looked up, a grin coming to her lips at the sight. “I hope it does, you know I like the rain.” 

He chuckled lightly at that. “I do too! But who wants to be caught in it and end up soaking wet?” 

She gasped in mock hurt. “I’m sorry Mr. 187, maybe I want to get caught in the rain, like a scene in some cheesy rom-com.”

He shook his head at her, his gaze dropping back down to look at the pavement beneath them.

Then the downpour started, just as Spencer had predicted. The rain was heavy and cold, essentially soaking them in seconds. 

Spencer ducked under nearby shelter, pulling his coat tighter around him. He looked back over at Y/N, surprised to find her stood out in the rain, her arms outstretched and a grin on her lips. 

“Y/N! What are you doing? You’re gonna get cold!” He shouted out, trying to make himself heard over the loud pelts of rain. 

“I’ll be fine!” She called back. 

“You know there’s a widespread myth that you lose the most body heat through your head. Studies have actually concluded that you only lose about ten percent of heat through your head.” Spencer shouted, and she turned to him with a smile, one that dismissed his facts. “You’re not even wearing a jacket, Y/N!”

“You know as well as I do, Doctor, that there’s no direct correlation between the rain and getting sick, so don’t even try that with me.” 

“You’re right, but there’s a very real chance of hypothermia. Actually, last year it was reported that approximately 700 people in the US died of hypothermia-”

“Spence!” She grinned, politely interrupting his statistics. “Come join me! Live a little!” 

He shook his head adamantly. “I’m okay, thank you. But you carry on.” 

He watched on in awe at the sight before him. He pushed all the statistics on the probability of her getting sick to the back of his head, focused on how she looked it that moment. Her body was lit only by pale moonlight and dim streetlamps, but Spencer thought she’d never looked more beautiful.

He should’ve told her, then. Should’ve told her how much he loved her, how he could give her everything she craved, more than her boyfriend ever could. He wondered how he would put into words that he’d find a way to give her the world if she asked for it. 

But he said nothing. 

He could envision himself saying it.

He allowed himself to dream of speaking the words, how her face would light up and he’d finally get to hold her the way he yearned to. He thought of how proud Garcia would be of him since she’d practically been begging him to make a move ever since she learned of the situation. (” It’s not that simple, Garcia. She has a boyfriend!” “That’s a minor detail, Reid!”)

He could picture himself saying the words. He could see how she’d look over at him with those adorably furrowed brows and stunning eyes. The rain would pour over them like in the scene from Pride and Prejudice, as he finally dared to say the words he’d held onto for so very long. 

‘I love you, most ardently.’

His very own Elizabeth Bennet.

But he said nothing.

Instead, when she came back over to him, her figure shivering as the cold finally set in, he simply offered her a cheeky grin. A simple look that said, ‘I told you so’. He quickly shrugged off his jacket and placed it over her shoulders, waving off her protests that he was going to get cold now.

As if that mattered, as long as she was warm.

*

Any attempt to sleep seemed useless. No matter how many poems he read to himself in his mind, sleep simply wasn’t coming. With a frustrated huff he moved to lie on his back, staring up at the ceiling defeatedly. Although he wished it wouldn’t, his mind travelled to Y/N. His heart lurched and just the thought of her, accompanied by the newest of the plethora of emotions he was feeling- jealousy. He wondered if her boyfriend knew just how lucky he was to be lying next to her, to have the privilege of holding her close, of telling her he loved her. 

Spencer wasn’t a possessive man, he knew very well that Y/N didn’t belong to him, nor did she belong to anyone. She wasn’t an object to be had, and Spencer would never treat her as such. However, he found himself wishing to a being he wasn’t sure he believed in that she would be his. Perhaps it was selfish and wrong, to hope that she’d turn up heartbroken on his doorstep so that he could pick up the pieces of her broken by another man. It was definitely selfish to wish her so much heartache so that he could ultimately get what he wanted.  

He recognised that she didn’t owe him anything. She didn’t owe him her love in return for his. But that almost made it worse; that this situation was nobody’s fault. It wasn’t Y/N’s fault for not returning his affections, nor was it her boyfriends’. It wasn’t Spencer’s fault either, he knew that deep down. He knew that no matter how many times he wished he’d told her sooner, before another man had swept her away, it wouldn’t have changed her feelings for him. 

It almost brought him to tears. It’d be easier, he thought, easier if she did something that made me hate her. But he didn’t hate her, he didn’t think he ever could. He loved her more than he’d ever loved anyone or anything and there no words to describe the burning pain in his chest as the realisation that he was all alone dawned on him. 

Y/N didn’t love him. At least, not in the way he wanted her too. 

He could almost kid himself into thinking that she was going to knock on his door, tell him she’d left her boyfriend and confess her love for him. It was silly, and really doing him more damage than good to indulge in this self-serving fantasy he’d created, but it was the only thing that gave him enough peace to finally fall into slumber. 

*

He nearly said it one day.

It was a Friday evening, and they were sat together at his apartment, having just finished watching a bunch of films. Y/N was mid-tangent about an interesting fan theory she’d read up on, while Spencer sat next to her trying to clear his thoughts. 

His mind was screaming at him, this is it, it said, this is your chance. He knew it was selfish, quite possibly the most selfish thing he’d ever do. Especially when she was with someone else, the man she was building a life with- and Spencer was going to tear it all down with three simple words. 

The most selfish thing he’d ever do. 

And some part of him, some silly, hopelessly romantic part of him told him she wasn’t going to reject him. No, instead, she would admit she loved him too- and everything would be okay. Right? 

“Y/N I-“ He interrupted her, and she looked over surprised as she stopped talking. She took in his tone of voice; how pained it sounded. She watched at how he cringed for interrupting her, his trembling hands coming to clutch fistfuls of his beige coloured cardigan in a nervous attempt to calm himself.

He evidently had something he needed to get off his chest.

“Yeah, Spence?” She prodded when he didn’t speak.

“I- I have to tell you something, something I should’ve told you a long time ago.” He rushed out, his voice shaking. He knew he’d have to force himself to say the words. He told himself to stop thinking so hard and just say them, because he knew all too well that he wouldn’t get the opportunity again. 

“Okay. It’s okay, take your time. It’s just me.”

“I-I” He stuttered, trying to force the three simple words to leave his lips but he couldn’t seem to do it. He desperately wanted to, and it ached because he could feel them on the tip of his tongue.

Then his eyes met hers, and he stopped. His brain seemed to grant him a moment of clarity among the chaos and overwhelming thoughts. He tried to profile her, to use what he knew about human behaviour and how he’d read once that the eyes were the windows to the soul. He recalled how happy she always was when she spoke of her boyfriend, and Spencer couldn’t deny that from what he’d heard, he treated her well. Like she deserved. It shattered his heart all over again, but how could he sit there and tear away the happiness of the woman he loved? He knew what him confessing would do to her. She’d go into overdrive trying to compensate for not feeling the same, overexert herself trying to be the greatest friend she could be — and all the while she’d smile, as though the knowledge that she’d (unintentionally) hurt her best friend wasn’t killing her inside. 

He couldn’t do that to her. 

Not as he stared at her now, her worried eyes on him as she tried to figure out how to help him. 

He couldn’t hurt her like that. 

Spencer would hurt himself a hundred times over if it meant she was unharmed. He supposed that was what the meaning of love really was. Sacrificing yourself for the one you love. 

He gave a sad smile and shook his head. “Um, you know what? It’s nothing.”

Her eyebrows knitted together as she scoffed. “Seriously? You’re gonna leave me hanging like that?” Her tone was amused although she feigned disappointment. 

“Guess so.” He forced a chuckle, and Y/N opened her mouth to speak before the sound of her phone ringing cut through the air. She looked over at it, a small smile reaching her features at the sight of the name that flashed across the screen. 

“Is that your boyfriend calling?” Spencer asked quietly. 

She nodded. “I’ll tell him to call back later.” She moved her hand to click decline but Spencer’s voice stopped her. 

“No. It’s okay. You should answer it now, it might be important.”

She seemed hesitant but nodded nonetheless, moving a few paces away from him before answering and talking softly into the phone. A few minutes later she hung up. 

“Everything okay?” Spencer questioned. 

She hummed. “Of course. He just wanted to know if I wanted to grab dinner with him, but I told him I’ve got plans with you-”

“No- no- you should go. With him.” Spencer breathed out.

“Are you sure? I thought we were gonna order in from that Chinese place you love?”

He gave her a small shrug. “We can take a rain check. You should go, I-I wouldn’t want you to be late for dinner.”

She frowned over at him, pocketing her phone as she moved closer to him. She clasped his shoulders in her hands and pulled her to him in a hug. He tensed at the initial contact, but eventually he relaxed into her hold and wrapped his arms around her. 

“You know you can tell me anything?” She promised, her voice soft, warm. 

“I know.” His voice broke, and his throat burned with the sob he was holding back.

She pulled back, concern on her features as she hesitantly let go of him. She promised she would give him a call later that evening before leaving the apartment.

Spencer stood for a moment; eyes fixated on the door as it closed behind her. 

He wondered how he was ever going to move on from her, from the dreams of a future that was so close but just barely out of reach.

Ultimately, he wasn’t jealous of the man who got to have her. 

He was jealous of the fact that she was happy because he could only wish that he was happy too.

‘It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way

You're happy without me’

permanant taglist; @beyonces-breastmilk @pinkdiamond1016 @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @thelovelyrose @averyhotchner @cynbx @calm-and-doctor @reidyoulikeabook @ssa-m-187

[shogikappa]

Twilight Zone for manga fans

“You're travelling to another medium. A medium not only of sight, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose conception is possible through imagination. You've just crossed over... into the Manga Zone.”

Now I’m a big fan of the Twilight Zone and anime/manga, so at some point I wondered if there’s any weeb stuff like Twilight Zone. After being completely disappointed with the anime The Laughing Salesman and Twilight Q, I looked further, and found 4 manga. Everyone, presented for your perusal, 4 horror anthology manga hostesses: Misery (the Outer Zone), Yomi (Zekkyou Gakkyuu [Ja: 絶叫学級, “Screaming Lesson”]), Kaminuma from the Soumatoh Kabushikigaisha [走馬灯株式会社, “Revolving Lantern Corporation”], and Misa from Eko Eko Azarak. Below are my thoughts so far on these series, in the order that I enjoy them, from best to least good.

1. The Outer Zone

“Hello, everyone. I’m Misery, your guide through the Outer Zone.” - Misery

The Outer Zone is probably the closest out of the 4 manga to the Twilight Zone and it seriously excels at itself. Every chapter is its own story where we meet a character or two and we witness them as they encounter whatever strange happening the Outer Zone presents them with, ending each story with a twist and a moral lesson/message. Like the Twilight Zone, each story is bookended also with an opening and closing narration from Misery herself.

For fans of TZ and anime/manga, I think this is a must read. Now unlike TZ, Misery tends to insert herself as part of the story. At first I thought this was something the author had done to shy away from making it a fully anthology series, but as the series goes, I find that the insertion of Misery is actually a good one for some stories. There is quite a noticeable dip in quality in volumes 3 and 4, but it managed to pick itself back up in vol 5. Misery is sorta an omnipotent-ish deity who “takes an interest in the dark side of life” and isn’t evil. If anything, she presents opportunities for the good to pull themselves out of the trouble and opportunities for the bad to be punished, much like how fate leads the characters in TZ. One of my favourite chapters is the one where a couple comes across a lucky shrunken head that porports to be able to predict what to bet on, potentially allowing the owner to win and endless amount of money. But is there really no catch to this?

2. Zekkyou Gakkyuu [絶叫学級]

"Good evening. It is time for yet another Screaming Lesson.” - Yomi

I first watched Twilight Zone as a kid, and I was certainly not old enough to really understand the themes about the US-Soviet arms race and other topics like this that were contemporary issues in the 1960s when TZ aired (I’m not even American or Russian). Also, generally, TZ is really an adult show, dealing with primarily problems concerning adults, with themes such as gambling, working, nostalgia, etc. Perhaps for that reason, I dropped the Twilight Zone for a good number of years before returning to it as an adult. Personally I was more intrigued by stories about a child who kept telling lies and finding out his lies came true, and my teachers in middle school really dug a TZ-esque story I wrote about helping a granny across the road, even though I didn’t really think that story was special at all.

This brings me to the point: I wish that there was Twilight Zone, but for a younger audience. And Zekkyou Gakkyuu is exactly that. It deals with situations that are perhaps more at home if you’re still a student, and most characters go to school. Now reading this as an adult, the final messages may make you feel like you aren’t part of the targeted demographic, with final messages like “remember to treat your friends well” and “don’t be picky with food”. But hear me out, despite the messages that are aimed at a younger audience, the stories themselves are actually very solid and compelling even reading it as an adult, so besides the final message in the end, there doesn’t seem to be compromises in the story department, so I would definitely say even as an adult, this is worth checking out. After all, even the classic TZ episode “To Serve Man” is basically like a sci-fi version of Little Red Riding Hood in any case. It’s the same message you might tell children, but the story is an enjoyable one. Like Outer Zone, each chapter begins and ends with a narration from the ghost girl host herself. And while we’re at that, I certainly am a fan of the design of the host character, who’s a ghost with only her torso...

3. Soumatoh Kabushikigaisha [走馬灯株式会社]

“Welcome to the Revolving Lantern Corporation. Look back on your life to your heart’s content!” - Kaminuma

Right off the bat, I should probably warn you that this is definitely an adult, 18+ manga.

Soumatoh (or “Soumatou”) Kabushikigaisha is said to be based on one specific Twilight Zone episode (which I have not yet watched) called “What’s in the box”, where a man finds a TV that could predict his future.

The SK is a kind of supernatural company that offers a service of allowing you to watch back on someone’s life if you provide the company with that person’s name and details. And you watch their life on a set of DVDs. Clumsy for a supernatural power, but it does come into play into the plot sometimes.

Anyway, I’m actually surprised how much they were able to milk this simple concept (and I mean this in the good way). At first, I wasn’t terribly fond of this premise, because you know the current state of the individuals, so I figured there couldn’t be anything too shocking going on, but it proves me wrong time and again. The twists usually come when you peek into the life of someone close to you and how they experience the same events. So despite the predictable setting, it still manages to deliver a TZ experience, though I would say it does so in a weaker manner than say, the Outer Zone, and there tends not to be anything supernatural going on in SK.

A word of warning if you decide to pick this up. There’s basically a sex scene in every story (each story usually spans 2 chapters), but it’s not hentai. It often feels that it contributes to the plot point, but there is quite the abundance of it, so just be warned.

4. Eko Eko Azarak

“Eko, eko, azarak. Eko, eko, zomelak.” - Misa

Eko Eko Azarak is a line from a Wiccan chant, and this manga deals with a little witch who practices black magic and goes around different schools to “serve justice”, as the manga summary puts it.

Like Zekkyou Gakkyuu, this takes place in a school setting, so some of the issues addressed feel more at home if you’re in that age range, such as wanting to get good grades and school gangs.

Now while I did find the first chapter to be a very worthy TZ-for-teens episode, I wasn’t quite as thrilled with chapters 2 and 3, and for that reason, I’ve decided to put this manga on hold for a bit. The reason? Our protagonist Misa isn’t really what I’d call a good person, and the punishments the MCs of each story (I’m distinguishing here the protagonist Misa from the MC of each story) receive don’t really feel deserved. These are in stark contrast to Misery, who tends to punish the bad. Now don’t get me wrong, TZ has its fair share of episodes where even the good get into a terrible fate, and not always as a warning either (in Time Enough at Last, I don’t think Henry Bemis has really done anything to deserve his fate, and unlike To Serve Man, it doesn’t serve [pun not intended] to warn us about trusting strangers). But I think if you’re going to put “people suffering from terrible fates without good reason” stories in, I don’t think these should be the manga starter. Many times, Misa seems to tempt the MC without good reason or just outright messes with them (this is also one of my complaints for the Laughing Salesman). Overall, with Misa not really being a good person and the undeserved punishments, this manga sits at the bottom of my list. But I still think it is nice in that it’s TZ for school-goers, and I have hope that people will face karma for bad deeds they’ve done further into the chapters.

Closing narration

Overall, I’m happy that there are a handful of enjoyable manga based off of the Twilight Zone. OZ is definitely the strongest in my opinion, and ZG and SK are also good reads. They deliver the suspense, the twist ending, and the lesson (though perhaps less so in SK). I hope you could give the first 3 a read too, and if there’s any anime/manga that give TZ vibes, please do let me know, and I’d be happy to check them out! (And I don’t just mean episodic manga, I do mean the whole TZ package as I described). I’m also doing a little Touhou/Twilight Zone crossover Youtube series, and I hope you could also check it out if you like this sorta thing. Regardless, just don’t get too engrossed into the books... or you may find yourself sucked into, with no way out... of the Manga Zone.

[luckyspacerabbit]

would you ever share the background you created for kai leng? i'd be so interested in hearing it!

Hehe, yes! Thank you for waiting anon. I wanted to really think this through and make sure I was working with all the possible details of his character.

Okay, so my goal with fleshing out Kai was not to excuse him as a villain or to necessarily redeem him, but to humanize him and hopefully incur sympathy because I find his depiction as a mysterious lackey boogeyman to be 🙄 one dimensional and playing on racist tropes like the yellow peril ✨ (also bioware making him predominantly chinese + a lil russian. extrapolate what u will lol)

So here is my background for Kai :) Lots of childhood headcanoning and then some general talk about his character/why I chose certain elements as I did (such as dumping that dumb phantom blade for butterfly swords AEORHIG)

Childhood: According to the wiki, Kai is Earthborn, and from his general heritage we can assume that he grew up in Northern China (omg that's where my ancestors are from). The most populous city there is Beijing, which, if there was a spaceport or alliance recruitment anywhere, it would be there.

I headcanon that he was born to a bit of an unsteady family, where it was likely there was estrangement and unsafe conditions between the mother and father that may have created a sense of helplessness and neglect from a young age.

In my canon, Dan Hyun's mom, Hannah Shepard was the head of an agricultural research facility on Trident, and was an old friend of Kai's mom (From University, possibly).

As conditions worsened throughout Kai's childhood, his mom decided to take a chance and flee with Kai (age 10 at the time) to Hannah Shepard's science facility on Trident (Sentinel Agricultural Research Facility), where she and Kai would stay for about two years as his mom worked to save enough money for their own place .

Since Dan Hyun was already being homeschooled, it was easy enough for Kai to join up alongside her.

Dan Hyun (12 at the time) was extremely happy to have a friend since life on the facility could be really lonely-- but with all these changes Kai was having a difficult time adjusting, especially when Dan Hyun felt put off by his competitive attitude. After so long feeling neglected and growing in a tumultuous home environment, he craved external validation: homeschool provided an avenue for that. They developed their own academic-based competitive rivalry that counted towards friendship, but grew distant when he moved out with his mom about two years later.

When Dan Hyun was 18 (Kai at 16), she managed to apply to an Alliance Research Training program and receive admission-- something that was considered highly prestigious, despite her parents' reluctance. Kai had already begun to build resentment towards her due to the way her parents treated her (very preciously, sheltered, and without exposing her to the difficult parts of life) in contrast with what he lacked in family and world kindness, creating a drive to supersede her and compete with her once again, if only to have tangible proof that just because he began in a lower place didn't mean he couldn't surpass the vision of success.

After this event, they would strike up a still somewhat friendly rivalry again that continued until Kai enlisted in the Alliance at the age of 18 (his attempts to join directly at 16 failed in my canon lol, but he sure tried )

Alliance Service:

Kai took the combat-driven route while Dan Hyun was receiving training for her eventual research establishment in Akuze, meaning that in their line of work, they never crossed paths-- Though they maintained occasional communication and met up here and there whenever Kai was back from his tours.

This is where I believe his decline truly began.

Some habits, like his desire for tangible proof of success and seeking external validation, manifested more heavily in this time. Collecting badges off of dead soldiers (To remember his skill first hand) is a notable one, but I speculate he relied heavily on the word of his commanding officers to counter his self-esteem. Titles were incredibly important because they were proof. When he began to feel a loss of control which led to emotional outbursts and breakdowns, he would fall back on these bits of evidence that he had done something, anything.

The weight and violence of service combined to break away his mental strength and conditioned him to that of a soldier.

Famously, he was discharged in 2186 after his N7 designation. In a bar fight on shore leave, he murdered a Krogan (OKAY. Listen. The wiki says "first-degree murder" but first degree requires premeditation and bar fight implies heat of the moment. So IDK I think the details around this one are a little fishy. He was on leave but he was a soldier, so ? he probably just had a weapon on him? Okay, I'm not excusing him but premeditation is a bit different from manslaughter so just something I've pondered. It separates intentional killers from accidental murders).

At this point, he is formally incarcerated and set to serve a twenty-year sentence.

Cerberus Contact:

The year is 2177, and Kai has lost everything he's ever worked for. His prestige is gone, he is at the worst place he has ever been, his mom won't talk to him, and he has no one. He had even stopped hearing from Dan Hyun, the only person he could have considered a friend once.

Through a small TV in the prison, he is able to hear about the attack on Akuze, and its one survivor: Alliance Scientist Dan Hyun Shepard. In the attack her biotic abilities (Which she had kept secret for many years) were revealed, prompting immediate recruitment into the N7 Program and a contract for ten years of service. This drove Kai into rock bottom-- while he had nothing, Dan Hyun was steadily on track to uprooting the only thing he had ever felt like he had accomplished.

This is when Cerberus intervened, promising him a home, freedom, belonging, and success.

So of course Kai agreed. Why wouldn't he? He had nothing left in his miserable life and there would never again be a place for him.

Cerberus Intervention:

It's my belief that Kai wasn't necessarily "alienphobic" in the beginning. Instead, I think The Illusive Man saw a very clear opportunity to recruit and nurture a broken man into a pawn of service. TIM is incredibly smart-- everyone who works for Cerberus is. He knew what Kai needed was validation, the promise of success held directly on the tip of his tongue to drive him into tenacity and action.

Organizations like Cerberus, even in real life, prey on people at weak points, fulfill their needs and drape their ideology on top like icing on a cake. That's not to say that Kai is completely innocent-- he ate the sweets and readily threw the world to the side in order to attain more-- but it does give some perspective.

Kai in Cerberus:

In ME2 we know there is some apprehension on Kai's part about the role Shepard will play. He is already starting to feel slighted from failures with Rasa and takes even the possibility of rejection from TIM extremely hard and with violent emotional outburst. This evidences how much TIM has whittled him away over the decade of service. Kai feels as though he owes everything to TIM, that TIM saw something in him-- failing him is disproving that and accepting what Kai has feared all along: that he truly is a worthless and incapable person.

Kai and Shepard:

Kai is best known for his direct antagonism towards Shepard in the events of ME3, directly killing their allies and potential love interests in a way that is extremely personal. Yes, it is part of the job, but at the same time, it's clear Shepard gets under his skin. It's because in the end, after all that setup, Shepard is the one person who can take it all away from him.

They can replace him as TIM's prodigy/ They can bring an end to the organization that gave him everything (From his cybernetic enhancements (uh indoctrination cough couch) ) to his purpose in life. Kai threw it all in with them because he didn't see another choice.

My Canon: The End

So how do things end for Kai in my canon?

As you're aware, you can unalive him, violently. But Dan Hyun is very emotional and due to their shared childhood, I like to believe that there was still a grand feeling of kinship between them, a recognition of the other due to shared insecurities. I don't think there was ever a time Dan Hyun looked at Kai and saw anything other than her slighted friend (which is very romanticized, but SHE is very romanticized), it was just about getting Kai to see that too.

She locked him down the best she could, yelled, cried, and beat the shit out of him, but ultimately, preserved his life. After the crucible had been fired and Thane (alive ofc) attended to, she sought to right things between her and Kai: whatever form that takes. Who knows if he'll ever be able to live comfortably in society again-- but at least here, he has the chance.

Random Tidbits:

Some notes! At his best, I like that Kai is portrayed as Loyal, Hard Working, Methodical, Clever, Tenacious, and Factual. I think sometimes he can be written off unfairly as wimpy or scared, but in truth, he's very sure of his abilities and able to calculate his chances extremely well. He's smarter than fandom gives him credit for.

He has an interesting conflict between arrogance based on title and humbleness. He knows he wants to be the best but he never airs it-- like when Rasa suggests that he wants to be the leader for Humanity but he grows quiet and says to just focus on where things are at right now.

His time as a soldier absolutely affected him in ways I think sharpened him to the killer he became. It instilled values that remained with him in Cerberus, such as when he berates Bates for abandoning his squad and calls him a traitor. Kai doesn't betray-- he's quite literally ride or die.

Also? The ninja sword is super dumb because Kai is Chinese and the swords and Phantom's themselves are designed to appear Japanese in aesthetic. Ninjas= Japanese, but China did have their own sect of Assassins which I believe gave birth to Wu Ching as a type of Martial Arts? Or was drawn from it hmm

To keep to accuracy, Kai would have trained more towards their martial art techniques which focuses on close combat and quick movements, as well as the use of dual blades called butterfly swords (You'd likely recognize them as a set of rogue daggers).

That's all for that meta! Phew. If anyone actually read to the end, hey wassup, hope you enjoyed, and take most of this with a grain of salt since it's my headcanons and background work :) Thank you again for reading!

[isthisthingeven0n]

nothing left to give : s.r

just wanted to put this out there. it’s been a while since i’ve posted, and this is something. 

you’re worn out, unsure whether the bau is your home after all. but the resident genuis won’t stand for that, especially when there’s things still unsaid between you both (2.5K)

It wasn’t as subtle as you hoped it to be. Then again, you should have known better working with a team of profilers who you consider family. Meaning in some sense, this wasn’t something that would’ve stayed hidden for long.

Initially, you just felt your eyes losing focus on case files. You’d been in California for two weeks on a case, resulting in a hefty amount of paperwork and the time difference combined threw you off, but it was meant to pass.

Except it didn’t.

You were beginning to get restless, waves of tiredness hitting you like a brick wall during office hours and Spencer was the first to catch on. Whenever you would leave your desk and later return you’d find a new mug of coffee, freshly brewed for you along with a small smile from across the room as you looked over in appreciation.

Convinced you had simply caught some kind of bug, you took a day off to rest. Yet, one day turned into three and once you returned, Spencer’s eyes widened at the sight that greeted him.

“Is that any way to greet your best friend, huh, Spence?” JJ chuckles, walking in behind you as she rests her hand on your shoulder, catching your gaze. You could tell JJ was profiling you with her soft Mom smile. “How’re you feeling, Y/n?”

Avoiding various glances from the rest of the team, you quickly nod. “Better.” You respond, wanting to carry on as if nothing were wrong as your glow began to flicker and fade.

“If it isn’t my angel, having returned from her duties in heaven.” Derek speaks up, happily walking towards you as Penelope remains in tow.

“Oh, I’m so glad you’re back. I don’t know if you got the-”

“The animal videos and relaxing music tracks,” You smile as Penelope nods, Derek rolling his eyes. “I did, thanks, Pen.” You rise to your feet, blocking out the blurred vision as you lean into a tight hug.

Whilst in Penelope’s embrace, Derek shoots Spencer a look, motioning him to follow.

“Just take it easy, we can’t have half of our favourite duo going on us.” Penelope jokes with you as you watch Spencer walk sheepishly behind Derek into the conference room, the door closing behind them. “Well, if you need me, I’ll be in the Batcave.”

The Batcave had never appealed to you more than now. The dark walls, few visitors and all of Penelope’s fluffy things to play with. Maybe you’ll find a reason to stop by later if the headache that looms over your thoughts returns.

Over in the conference room, Derek leans against the table whilst Spencer tries to stand tall, his hands resting in his pockets. “Kid, what’s going on with Y/n?”

A heavy sigh escapes Spencer’s lips as his eyes fall to the ground. “What’d you mean?”

Derek shifts, his eyes hardening as Spencer lifts his head back up. “Reid,” Derek starts.

“She, she won’t tell me,” Spencer states, taking Derek by surprise. “I, I want to ask her, but I’m worried she won’t take it well.” Spencer sighs as he turns his head, looking out from the blinds to see you talking with JJ, a tired smile wearing heavy on your face. “We made an agreement a while ago to always be honest with one another, but I don’t know if that still stands.”

“Is she struggling with things?” Derek questions, resting his arms against the table as Spencer opens his mouth, but words struggle to follow.

“I, I know I’m a profiler, that’s my job but with Y/n, I, I hate doing it. She’s supposed to tell me these things, I don’t want to figure it out.” Spencer stumbles, but he knows exactly what is wrong with you, and that’s the issue.

“Judging by the guilt in your voice, you’ve already figured it out, huh?” Derek comments as Spencer nods in response. “You gotta talk to her, Reid before it gets worse.”

Another nod follows as Spencer remains lost in thought, barely registering the quick pat on the shoulder from Derek before he exits the conference room, leaving him alone until Penelope enters, announcing there’s a new case.

*

It was a long case, one that dragged out with several victims and a blur of family members cross your mind as you curl up in your seat on the jet.

Closing your eyes, all you can picture are those screams and violent sobs from the victim's families. You promised them you’d bring their child/sibling/friend/niece/nephew/grandchild home, but you couldn’t, you didn’t.

“Hey,” Lifting your head up, you’re greeted by Spencer holding a mug of green tea. “Did you know that Green Tea contains epigallocatechin-3-gallate, or more commonly known as EGCG. It’s a natural antioxidant, and that’s only one of the benefits from drinking green tea, did you know,”

Holding your hand up, Spencer pauses before sitting down beside you.

“I’m glad you stopped him before I did.” Rossi comments from across the jet, nursing a glass of scotch along with Hotch.

“Thanks, Spence.” You mutter, grasping the mug closely as the burning sensation trickles through your skin, but you refuse to let go. “Sorry, my heads just thumping.” You smile weakly to your best friend who wears that uncomfortable tight-lipped grin. “Don’t do that,”

Spencer pauses, his lips parting. “Do what?” He asks, shuffling in his seat so his body is facing you, closing off everyone else who is asleep or drifting on the jet.

“Treat me like I’m ill or tiptoe around things.” You sigh, releasing your hands from the mug as you rub your temples, the warmth from your fingertips soothing you momentarily.

“Then tell me what’s going on, Y/n.” Spencer states quietly, trying not to raise his voice as JJ stirs in her sleep across from you both. “Please,” He whispers, and the mere plead breaks your heart.

Closing your eyes, you shake your head. “I don’t know if I can Spencer,” You tell him, opening your eyes and focusing on his, how big the universe looks through his hazel gaze. “and it hurts to admit that because I care about you and, and everyone so much.” You never get overly emotional after cases, but with everything else, it’s just hit you.

Reaching out, Spencer rests his hand on yours, his thumb gliding over the back of your hand. “I just, I don’t like seeing my friends in pain and I just want to stop it happening.” He admits, his eyes fixated on yours as a tear falls down your cheek.

“Well,” A scoff leaves your lips as you take your hand from Spencer’s as you forcefully wipe your eyes. “not everything can be fixed that easily, Reid.” You remark before rising to your feet, shuffling past Spencer and over to the bathroom.

In a state of shock, Spencer registers JJ opening her eyes opposite him. “If that was your best attempt at comfort, I’ve seen better effort from serial killers.” JJ jokes as she sits upright whilst Spencer’s brows remain deeply furrowed.

“Y/n never closes herself off like this, JJ.” Spencer sighs. “We’ve been friends for nine hundred and twelve point five days. And during all this time she’s been honest with me, never once has she hidden something.”

Memories from late nights watching Doctor Who reruns, attending book signings or being Spencer’s plus one to obscure foreign films when no one else would go, you both were happy just to be in one another's company. Even if you had no idea what was happening during a film in Russian, Spencer aided as a translator, much to the others attending annoyance. All Spencer wanted was for you to be happy.

“There are some things you can’t share with your friends, Spence.” JJ reminds him. “Y/n might not have figured it all out yet, just give her some time.”

Spencer nods and his ears perk up to the sound of your footsteps approaching.

“Thanks,” You mumble as Spencer rises to his feet, allowing you to slide back against the window as you close your eyes in an attempt to sleep or avoid the inevitable conversation with Spencer. For now, it remains to be the latter.

*

Since you returned from the case, you only felt worse in every sense.

You wanted to carry on, you wanted to make this work because you loved this. No, you love this.

“Y/L/N?” Hotch calls out, catching you by surprise as you turn around. “Do you have a moment?”

Nodding in response, Spencer’s eyes follow you as you walk up to Hotch’s office, the door closing behind you and the blinds being drawn.

“Someones in trouble.” Derek sings, causing JJ and Penelope to laugh. But Spencer only tenses, wishing he could be in there with you, hoping you’re alright.

When you walk out, it’s been thirty-two minutes and twelve seconds, and during that time all Spencer has been able to focus on is the door of Hotch’s office.

Hotch gives you a curt nod before he shuts the door to his office, retreating back to his desk whilst you walk toward yours. “Everything okay sugar plum?” Penelope asks, wrapping her arms around you as you weakly hug her back.

“Yeah, I’m just going to take some time off. I’ve got a few things to sort out.” You explain, trying to avoid the concerned glances of your friends at the anonymity of your statement. “I’ll be back before you know it, guys.” You force a small laugh. “And I’ll only be a phone call away. I don’t wanna miss out on the action.”

“Like we’d let you.” Derek remarks.

“Rest up, okay?” JJ comments with a small smile as you grab your bag and coat.

As you lift your head up to wave, you focus on Spencer. You know you’ll always focus on Spencer in a room, no matter how many or few people there may be; Spencer is the first person you’ll notice.

More specifically, your focus lands on the solemn expression he is wearing. One you’re aware of but not well accompanied with.

“Take it easy, okay?” Penelope calls out to you as you walk through the glass doors.

Once out of sight, everyone turns to face Spencer who lifts his head up, forcing that tight-lipped smile. “What?”

JJ crosses her arms whilst Penelope steps closer. “Why are you just standing here? You’re our resident genius and you’re clueless!” Penelope groans, gripping onto Derek’s arm. “How can he be so naive?”

“I’m right here, Penelope.” Spencer speaks up. “But I don’t follow, for once.” He remarks, and JJ laughs quietly at Spencer’s attempt at humour.

Rolling her eyes, Penelope lets go of her favourite man and reaches over to Spencer. “Y/n, our sweet, loving agent with the heart of gold and the mind of a thunderstorm.” Penelope begins, and Spencer nods along, not wanting to interrupt about how a thunderstorm isn’t the best use of a metaphor to describe your mind when in reality it’s more like a-

“Spencer?” Derek waves his hand in front of Spencer’s face, bringing him back to reality.

“What about Y/n?” Spencer clears his throat, but the change in his pitch doesn’t favour him as Rossi raises an eyebrow as he approaches the rest of the team.

“He’s figuring it out, isn’t he?” Rossi comments as a series of nods follow. “About time, kid.” Rossi raises his mug to Spencer who leans against the edge of his desk.

“Just give him a moment,” JJ speaks up as Spencer fixates on your desk, your absent desk.

How every morning you’re the first person who makes him laugh from across the room. You bring him coffee or he’ll bring you one. You always try to persuade him to eat out, or go on a walk or try riding a bike after work instead of the subway. Spencer will sing along to cheesy songs with you just to hear you yell at the top of your lungs and dance in your apartment. Spencer gave up a chess tournament to go on a bike ride with you at sunset, just to see the warm glow against your face, knowing how soft your skin would feel against his.

And that’s when it hits him. Every single moment over the past two and a half years.

“I, I have to go,” Spencer mumbles, pushing himself from his desk and quickly walks out from the BAU, rushing to the elevator as the team quietly celebrate.

*

Spencer is running, and it isn’t a flattering sight to witness as he breathes heavily, bursting through the doors of the parking lot.

“Y/n?” Spencer calls out, running toward the far block F where you always park your car, hoping he isn’t too late.

“Spencer?” Your voice falters as you exit your car, wiping your eyes as Spencer pants, but still walks closer toward you. “What’re you doing here? Why aren’t you working?” You want to laugh as an attempted smile crosses your lips as Spencer’s hair clings to his forehead, his lips remaining parted as he breathes shallowly. “Okay firstly take a breath, you need it.”

Nodding in response, Spencer takes a deep breath before composing himself. “I had to talk to you before you go.” Spencer speaks smoothly as you step away from your car, standing in front of him as tears line your cheeks.

“Is something wrong, Spence?” You ask sweetly, despite your current state, your attention remains fixated on Spencer as he shakes his head.

“Y/n, I,” Stuttering over his words, Spencer exhales deeply. “I know I can’t make you better overnight, but I also don’t want to lose you- none of us do, but I guess I especially don’t.” Spencer begins to explain. “All I ask is that you let me in, let me help in some way, even if it’s just opening your car door or sending you those memes Garcia finds, I’ll do it.” A smile graces Spencer’s lips as you chuckle softly.

“I feel so lost, Spencer.” You admit, your eyes glazing over. “Of late it’s just all too much, I can’t, I can’t take the pain and sorrow of those who’ve lost loved ones.” You wipe your face, taking a shaky breath as Spencer steps closer.

“But think of how many lives you save, Y/n.” Spencer interrupts. “Statistically, those outweigh the lives lost.”

“I was expecting a statistic I’ll admit.” You joke, and Spencer shrugs his shoulder. “I know it’ll pass, but it just hurts.”

Spencer places his hand on your shoulder, his eyes scanning yours for any uncertainty before he wraps his arms around you, holding you close against his chest as silent sobs leave your lips.

“I’m always here, Y/n. We all are.” Spencer mutters as his lips press against the top of your head, lingering as he closes his eyes, not wanting to let you go.

Pulling away from his embrace, you cross your arms over your chest. “Thank you, Spence.” You smile sweetly. “I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

“I’ll keep you to that, Y/n.” Spencer chuckles before you lean forward, kissing his cheek softly before retreating to your car. “Don’t be a stranger, Y/n.” Spencer mutters under his breath as you reverse out from the parking space, exiting the parking lot as those words linger on his tongue unsaid.

[johannas-motivational-insults]

Fandom is supposed to be fun but at this point it’s mostly just scary. What if I accidentally put something in one of my fics that offends someone and they send a hit squad after me to sort through everything they can to find all the ways in which I am problematic and release a manifesto declaring I am a terrible horrible person not to be associated with? Then I lose my social circle and one of my main sources of joy and a key creative outlet that has been valuable as a therapy, because if I kept writing the hate would keep rolling in and I am only human. Doesn’t help that a big chunk of my PTSD is tied up in bullying and ostracism and deep-rooted feelings of shame in the first place. So yeah I want to keep creating but it’s starting to feel like Russian Roulette or swimming in shark-infested waters and every time I see a fandom drama erupt it makes me shrink further and further inside myself because these are people I know and some of them are good people and as terrible as I feel for them and how I want to combat injustice all I can think is “am I next?!? Do I need to wipe my whole blog and orphan all my fics so I’m squeaky clean and there’s no chance for something to be taken out of context or for past remarks I no longer agree with to bite me in the ass? Do I need to silence myself before someone else can do it for me??”

...I wish I was even 1% exaggerating. This shit is terrifying and it’s been causing me tons of stress and anxiety lately. When you were raised to believe you were evil by nature and your peers treated you like you were some disgusting monster it’s easy to believe that you are in fact an evil monster and it’s only a matter of time before you’re found out. I used to want to be an influential person in fandom so I could counteract bad takes and so somebody would finally care about what I have to say. Now I just want to shrink into the shadows and let my inner demons eat me alive, safe from the scrutiny of the spotlight.