#to the point it becomes actively unhealthy for me to be helping them

[box-dwelling]

For a person who bonded onto Miles Edgeworth like a baby duck, when I write I really do focus on Phoenix and his struggles way more than Edgeworths.

[hxney-lemcn]

Care for Yourself my Love — Overblots x gn! reader

summery: taking care of yourself wasn't your best skill, thankfully you have someone to help you build it up.

tw: unhealthy eating habits! If you're sensitive to this please don't read this fic! I'm not glorifying or romanticizing this, I just wish I had someone to help keep me on track (you'll notice I make the reader actively try to better themselves). mentions of depression/depressive traits (leona, idia).

a/n: I wanted to write something, ik people have done this already but here's my two cents because I've delt/deal with this too

wc: 1.7k (~250 per character)

Master List

❥ Riddle Rosehearts

You don’t try to be so forgetful, it’s just you're either always running late or you find yourself procrastinating to the point you don’t have time. Unfortunately, your carelessness has gotten to the best of you and you found yourself nearly passing out while preparing for the upcoming unbirthday party. Even more unlucky, you swayed dizzily in front of Riddle, nearly toppling over and knocking over paint buckets. At first he felt his temper flare, that paint wasn’t cheap and now they’ll have to get more. Not only that, but now your shoes, socks, and pants were covered in red paint. But then he noticed the concerned look on Trey’s face and how you held onto him for support while holding your head, eyes closed tight. That was when the worry set in, were you alright? Why had you been so clumsy in the first place? You apologized to the two, casually bringing up how you can’t remember eating anything yet and that was most likely the cause. After that, Riddle tried keeping track for you, scolding you anytime you mumbled about forgetting to eat. How could you forget something so important! You couldn't learn properly if you didn’t take care of yourself. Not to mention the heart attack he nearly gets every time he recalls that moment of you nearly fainting in the rose garden. He doesn’t want that to happen again, so he’ll continue to help you out until you learn to take care of yourself better.

❥ Leona Kingscholar

Honestly…I think he’s in the same boat. People call him lazy, selfish, and rude, and his only escape from all his problems is his dreams. Where people love him, where he’s important, where he’s cherished. So this can go one of two ways. 1) You both feed into each other's bad habits and become worse. Or 2) you notice his bad habits, and in trying to correct them (Ruggie helps tremendously with this…he also gets free food so he doesn’t mind) you find yourself improving on your own. Leona lets you take however much money you want, little does he know, most of that money is being used on him as well. You end up buying matching water bottles on a whim and you find yourself actually drinking a healthy amount of water now. This also goes for Leona, as every time you get food, you bring some for him, every time you go to get water, you bring some for him. In fact, he actually uses the water bottle you bought him, but it's only cus it reminds him of you…not that you’ll ever know. Slowly over time, you both improve each other, and you find yourselves feeling more healthy than ever before. Especially when Leona decides to have you join him for his spell drive training, making you participate in it as well. Not because he hates you, but he sees what you’ve done for him, and wants to help you in his own way in return…he just makes it seem and feel like a punishment. 

❥ Azul Ashengrotto

Azul is a sharp one that never lets a detail go. He noticed your bad habits from the start. It only bit him back when he started to genuinely care for you. He felt his mind want to tear itself apart when you came by the lounge after school, immediately being placed in his VIP room, and him hearing your stomach growl. When he asked if you wanted food you denied, stating you didn’t have the funds. That made him want to rip Crowley apart. Instead of letting that anger show, he only smiled, making up some bullshit about how its on the house today. Azul made sure that the Leech twins kept an eye on you, and if your self-destructive habits got too out of hand they would step in. At first you were apprehensive when Jade would randomly appear, asking if you’ve eaten or drank anything recently. Azul nearly broke down in tears when one time you shrugged nonchalantly, asking if it mattered. It was then that you realized that your habits not only affected you, but the people you cared about as well. So you promised him you’d try to better yourself. If you forgot breakfast you at least had a granola bar on hand. If you forgot water, Floyd would throw a water bottle at you. It was a slow process, but after a while you started taking better care of yourself, and all Azul could do was breathe a sigh of relief. He was not going to let someone he cared about become their own greatest downfall. 

❥ Jamil Viper

At first, he’s annoyed. Out of spite he won’t help you, his gray eyes watching to see you stumble with slight gratification. Those feelings soon crumbled the closer you two got, and that gratification slipped into apprehension. Jamil was going to lose all his hair at this rate. So when you forgot to buy food, or used all your money for other necessities Jamil started packing you a lunch alongside his own and Kalim’s. He quickly grew annoyed at how pleased he felt when he watched you scarff down his food, exclaiming how great it was. You forgot how warm the Scarabia dorm was and were currently sweating to death beneath all your layers? Don’t worry, Kalim had bought you tons of outfits already (no matter how much Jamil tried to stop him), he’ll take you to a spare room for you to change. You start feeling woozy, there’s a seat nearby and he’s already got water and a snack. Even though he’s still a bit annoyed he had to do all this in the first place…you had managed to wiggle your way into a soft spot in his heart. So for you, he doesn’t mind taking care of you. Not as long as you promise to try and learn to take care of yourself as well, because he’s not sure how much more his heart can take seeing you accidentally hurt yourself in one way or another. Plus, he won’t always be there to stabilize you…not unless you choose to stay by his side. 

❥ Vil Schoenheit

This mf knew right away. He could tell with the way you cared so greatly for others, that you had no room to care for yourself. Vil makes a whole schedule for you, when you should eat, drink water, and exercise to be your best self. You are now an honorary pomefiore student with the way he treats you. Even with the added slack of not living on the dorm grounds…you’re still not safe. Vil gets spider senses with you slacking on self care and sends Rook to check in on you. He makes you set alarms, gets you a fashionable yet hefty water bottle for you to carry around. Honestly…he works the best when it comes to self care. He doesn’t even have to text you anymore, you’ll be slouching and he’ll pop in your mind and you fix your posture. Talk about living in your mind rent free. He’s also the harshest, his whole thing is being your best self and he’ll be damned to see you hurt yourself because you weren’t thinking clearly due to not eating enough. It all comes from a place of care though, he’s just not the best at expressing that. Just know that every time he scolds you it’s because he cares about you. If it gets too much though just tell him, he’ll pamper you a bit with a self care spa day sometime soon. At the end of the day, he wants to see you thrive, not survive. 

❥ Idia Shroud

…worst person. Sorry. He’s worse than Leona. At least Leona is a part of a sport and still has to slightly take care of himself because of that. Idia has no motivation whatsoever. He is in his room nearly 24/7 with barely any contact outside. Never drinks water, barely eats (it's mostly snacks at that), and does he even sleep? Ortho is the one who does constant check-ins and brings him food and water. Although Ortho keeps constant health checks, he can’t help but be sad everytime he sees his brother push food to the side and forget about it. So if you’re looking for someone to help you with your habits I’m sorry but Idia will feed into your bad ones. If anything, it's Ortho helping you out. One time, you and Ortho had a little cooking hang out, and you brought a portion to Idia, and he ate it right away. It was then that Ortho found out a way to make you and his brother eat more. So expect more invites to cook with Ortho. In fact, he even got Idia to join! How fun! Even though the outcomes were more or less mid, you all had fun while making it. It got to the point that you and Ortho would keep challenging yourselves and would have Idia be your taste tester. Besides, how could he say no to you when you stared at him so expectantly? Just don’t ask why he never rates your food under a 7 out of 10. 

❥ Malleus Draconia

Fae’s and humans were similar and different. One big difference was how much one needed to consume in order to sustain themself. You’d think a dragon fae would need to eat a lot in order to sustain such a powerful body, but they actually eat less. So if anything, Malleus didn’t see anything abnormal about how little you ate or drank. So when you immediately fell back in your seat after attempting to stand up, Malleus had rushed to your side, unsure what was wrong. You smiled in a carefree manner while trying to wave away his worry, explaining how you probably should’ve eaten more. It was then that he realized he had been negligent about your health and went to Lilia for answers. He visibly paled when Lilia told him humans needed to eat at least three times a day and drink tons of water. Now you have a dragon fretting over you 24/7. He knew humans were fragile, but every day he finds out they’re more fragile than he originally thought which caused him to fuss over you. You needed to eat more, child of man, he doesn’t want you leaving him earlier than expected. Humans die if they don’t drink water for three days? He now carries a water bottle for you everywhere you go. You’ll never have to worry about forgetting to eat again…in fact, you’re probably pleading with Malleus to give you a break, you’ll die if you overeat too…which causes him to spiral again…

[yandereunsolved]

✐ᝰ Yandere Clark Kent 'Superman' ᝰ.ᐟ

Alien, farmer, reporter, superhero, and Justice League member are all titles Clark has collected over the years. They stretch from the most mundane to the ones that are given the highest respect. All of these titles pale in comparison to the one he yearns for the most: to be your husband. Every one of his positive traits seemed to disintegrate when it came to you, his accomplishments and status along with them. He was simply Clark to you, not Superman or Kal-El.

He was nothing but a love-sick maniac at your feet. His obsession threatens to break the moral code he is so devoted to. He understands that his attraction to you is something unhealthy and taboo. He is a beacon of light in the darkness of the world. Yet he'd be willing to blind the entire world with light just to be acknowledged by you. He'd cut out his own heart and present it in a gift box with a red bow if it'd please you.

You—just a human reporter who works at the Daily Planet. You who lives in a small studio apartment. You who has aspirations of doing something greater than just writing opinion pieces. You who has captured the noble hero's heart. 

You, you, you, you, you, you, you.

He can't get enough.

He doesn't get enough of you. You seem to actively avoid him. You interact with Lois so cordially; you two are close friends. He works with Lois. Why are you giving him the cold shoulder?

He knows everything about you. He knows your favorite restaurant, where you go to de-stress, your schedule, your hobbies, and your fantasies. He's spent so much time learning about you. You've learned nothing about him except for the fact that he's your dorky, sweet co-worker.

"Are you staring at them again? How long have you been staring at them? Why do you keep staring at them? Do you have a crush on them!?" Lois interrogates him with that same curiosity kindling in the back of her violet eyes.

He could demolish buildings in an instant, but he couldn't control his pale complexion from being invaded by a red hue. He had to think for a moment. His words had become lost in his mind, like they had been dispersed among the cosmos. He stuttered at first. It felt so out of character for him. He always, well, almost always, knew what to say. 

He had to be careful around her. He's lucky that he has been clever enough to keep his obsessive tendencies under wraps until Lois leaves his side.

"I just want to know why they refuse to talk to me." His words were laced with truth. Still, he was dodging her questions, as always.

Lois huffs in irritation, like he just said the most asinine thing one could ever utter.

"They obviously like you. They just think you're way out of their league."

"What?" He deadpans.

"I never give you the inside scoop about your darling little crush, but this one time I may." She teases him. "Clark, they like you. The googly eyes you two make at each other are such an obvious indication that you both are totally whipped for each other."

"You're serious?" His pupils dilate to such an extensive degree that you would have thought he was getting them checked by an optometrist. A lump forms in this throat, twice the size of his Adam's apple. "They like me?"

"They more than like you. They are interested in you, and you should totally ask them out on a date. I have to help a friend out, y'know? You two would make such a cute couple." Lois's pitch in her voice had become so much higher; even with her evident giddiness, there was an undertone of sulleness.

"Hey!" Lois calls you over. She waves her arm around and points towards Clark.

You scurry over in your flattering work outfit. It wouldn't be appropriate for him to eye you like a forbidden sweet. Still, he could feel his clothes grow tighter and his palms become sweaty. You couldn't even look him in the eyes. He wanted to gently tilt your chin up so your eyes would meet his. He'd eat a lump of kryptonite just for you to glance at him with that love-lorn expression. If only you knew, he could show; no, he has to show—

"You and him are going to go undercover in a local cafe a few blocks from here." He's snapped from his never-ending supply of thoughts about you. "It's supposedly a cover for a notorious drug cartel. Your cover story will be that you're a young couple going out on a date."  

You glance at Lois and eagerly nod. His words don't register your reply, but from Lois's grin, you obviously said something along the lines of yes. You walk off once again, your eyes sweeping across the aged carpet covering the office floor. Once out of hearing distance, Lois turns back to him.

"You're welcome. You owe me one." Lois nudges him in the side.

He could die a happy man now.

[gloomwitchwrites]

Obsession

Thorin Oakenshield x Female Reader

Content & Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): Stalker AU, mutual stalking, mutual pining, unhealthy behavior, slight tension, flirting

Word Count: 900

A/N: Requested by @protosslady for 3.5k Spooky Bingo (Stalker AU)

One sided-stalking becomes a mutual endeavor.

ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // 3.5k spooky bingo masterlist

A little thrill runs up your spine.

It's a dangerous game you play.

A series of behaviors that go far beyond the bounds of appropriateness.

But you cannot help yourself. The itch to watch—to linger—is a tangible yet unrelenting need.

Many women fawn over Prince Thorin. They openly follow him, throwing themselves in his path with the hope that he might take the bait. They are unafraid and their behavior is acceptable. Why would they not? Prince Thorin is handsome and without a wife. Surely, he would find favor with someone.

But you do not.

You do not throw yourself in Prince Thorin's path.

Yet you trace his every step. Have learned his habits. You go out of your way to be where he is at all times if just for the chance to see him.

It's an obsession. A dark need that won't abate. It is wrong to do this, to dig around and dwell when he has no idea who you are.

At least the other women are forthright with their admiration and longing. Their intentions are clear and plain for all to see. They hide nothing from him nor anyone in Erebor. And they are utterly unashamed of what they do.

You? You are ashamed.

It is a deep wound. A gnarled gash.

But it is an impulse.

One you chose to indulge.

And it’s not like you ever approach him. It’s not like you’re actively seeking Prince Thorin’s attentions, though you believe that he will eventually notice you.

If Prince Thorin crosses your path, you suddenly become keenly interested in a nearby wall, or you observer your nails as if dirt sits under them. But the whole time, you’re observing him from the corner of your eye—tracking his every movement and step.

And on that same note, Prince Thorin does not stop.

He says nothing to you.

You are hyper aware of his presence at all times. You take note of his conversations with others. If you find something out about him—like he’s been enjoying a particular treat of late—you make sure to leave a small gift for him.

No note. No name.

Just an offering. A sample.

The other women who clamber after him wouldn’t date. And when they do, you make sure those gifts disappear completely before Prince Thorin has a chance to see them. One of these days, a few of the miners are going to find a pile of broken gifts at the bottom of a mine shaft.

And what is the point, really? Will Prince Thorin actually find this attention favorable?

Eventually.

Surely.

You are the most dedicated. You respect his personal space even as you watch from afar. You’re the one who is actually trying by observing and listening, not fawning.

It is an impulse.

A pull.

This is more than attraction—more than lust.

You will have him.

Eventually, you will have him.

It is council day. Thorin always attends.

Like clockwork, you watched him enter at his usual time and place. But many hours have passed, and it is now far beyond the normal time for his departure. Others have passed under the arch, but Thorin has yet to emerge.

Worry sets in.

Have you missed him? Did you somehow forget his schedule? You wrote it all done. There is an entire journal hidden in your home that has it all written down to the minute. Have you completely messed this up?

"A stalker? I'm flattered."

You nearly jump out of your skin at the soft purr of Prince Thorin’s voice. Turning around, you press yourself up against the stone. He is right there, invading your space. Placing a hand against the rock behind you, Prince Thorin leans in, stopping all escape.

"I've been watching you," murmurs Thorin.

Watching…you?

"Me?" you ask, voice small and timid.

He nods. "On council days, you wait here. For me. But you've never approached. Why?"

"I—I don't wait for you." Thorin arches an eyebrow, unimpressed. You swallow, glancing away. "Perhaps I do,” you mutter.

"Do you like me?"

"My prince?" you ask, startled.

"Do you," he repeats. "Like me?"

You've certainly been watching him, tracing his every step, and observing his movements with the hope that he will happen to walk by you. A glimpse is all you want—all you crave.

But Prince Thorin is seeking an answer, and you are unsure of what to say. Admitting that you do would be a relief, but it's clear he knows you've been haunting his schedule like a wraith.

The corner of Thorin's mouth twitches with amusement. "On council days, you wait at this wall for me." He shifts, his gaze angled at the archway he should have come out of. "I exit there to go to the mines." His gaze returns to you. "When I assist in the royal treasury, you're somehow lingering nearby, acting like you're supposed to be there. Everywhere I am, you also are."

"I don't know what you're talking about,” you reply quickly.

"But you,” Prince Thorin emphasizes. “Visit the market when fresh flowers are delivered from Dale. Your favorite treat from the bakery is the apple tart. And you always haggle with Alfrin over jewelry and yet pay full price anyway."

"How—"

"Are we to keep playing games? Or will you allow me to take you on a proper date?"

taglist:

@coffeecaketornado @thetaekwondofeline @mrsdurin @glassgulls @childofyuggoth

@glitterypirateduck @foxxy-126 @km-ffluv @sweetbutpsychobutsweet @singleteapot

@tiredmetalenthusiast @miaraei @cherryofdeath @ferns-fics @ninman82

@eternallyvenus @beebeechaos @smileykiddie08 @chaostwinsofdestruction @weasleytwins-41

@thewulf

[prettybean]

TOXIC BEHAVIOR (COD +18)

* just for fun, don’t take it too seriously 🍌

I DO NOT SUPPORT THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP, if you find yourself in these situations, ask for help

If these topics make you uncomfortable, please avoid reading further.

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE

Ghost

He just can't accept the fact that you ended things with him. It's been three months since the breakup, but Simon has completely lost it, especially when he found out that you're engaged again.

He keeps calling you persistently, and out of habit, you always answer. You hear him say the same old phrases: "I'm better than him" or "Come back to me, you know you can't be happy without me."

Despite the breakup, you've agreed to have sex with him several times. The way he pleases you makes your heart race faster and faster. Deep down, you know it's not fair to your new boyfriend, but when Simon touches you, you forget about everything else.

After years of being together, he knows your body inside out. He knows exactly how to make you moan, and he's not afraid to remind you of that. "I bet you don't scream like that with him." And as he says it, he fucks you like only he can.

"Do I have to kill him to win you back? You know I would." And as he says those words, he takes you to new heights of pleasure.

Soap

He has an unhealthy fixation on exerting control over you. John wants to demonstrate to others just how much you are under his command and how obediently you follow his every instruction.

"I've got something special for you," he informed you, as he fasten a collar around your neck, tightening it to the point where it became difficult to breathe. He didn't care about your discomfort; the tighter the collar, the more possession he felt over you.

"Do you like it, sweetie?" he asked, gazing at his name engraved on the collar, emphasizing how much he had invested in you. "If you ever remove it, it would truly break my heart."

You had no choice but to comply; it was the only option available to you. You kept the collar on, and he took advantage of it more and more, forcing you to go out in public with fewer and fewer clothes, showcasing you as his prized possession.

"No panties today, baby," he forcefully rip them off, leaving you to walk around without them. You belonged solely to him, and you had to face the consequences by fulfilling his every desire.

Price

His protectiveness quickly transformed into possessiveness. He never bothers to inquire about your dating life, your activities, or your whereabouts. Your outings are solely determined by his decisions.

If he doesn't suit your preferences, he might even tie you up to acknowledge his authority.

"Darling, it's all about your safety. I don't want anyone to harm you."

He accompanies you everywhere, and you must remain by his side. When you walk, he clings possessively to your arm. "Stay close to me, sweetheart."

If you attempt to engage in conversation with someone else, he tightens his grip on your waist, glaring at you. "What did I tell you?" he growls before promptly escorting you home.

Nevertheless, you adore his way of expressing love. You have always obeyed his commands because, after all, he is your boyfriend.

Gaz

You never truly loved him and he couldn't accept that fact. For months, he persistently tried to flirt with you, but you rejected him in every possible way. However, he refused to give up.

You couldn't help but notice his strange attempts to manipulate you. Strangely enough, you found yourself enjoying the attention and the way he tried to make you fall for him.

Every day, he would tell you, "You're the reason I'm so miserable, don't you see? It's all because of you." With a disappointed expression, he would repeat this over and over, gazing into your eyes.

He started writing you letters, each one becoming more explicit, expressing how he would pleasure you if only you would accept his love. He even went as far as to say he would eliminate any competition just to have you.

Slowly, you found yourself giving in to the temptation and his relentless manipulations. In the end, he succeeded in making you fall in love with him.

Graves

He's consumed by jealousy, and he doesn't even try to hide it. He repeatedly tells you how jealous he is and how wrong you are in your relationship. "If you could just stop thinking about other people, then maybe we wouldn't fight so much."

He wants to have complete control over your every move, to the point where he even took your phone to read all your messages, from the very first to the very last. If he finds anything he doesn't like, he doesn't hesitate to delete the contact of the person involved. "I'm sick of you and your damn friends."

You want to tell him that he's a psychopath and that he needs to respect your privacy, but you simply can't. He keeps blaming you, saying, "It's because of you that I'm like this."

There have been multiple instances where he's punched walls out of anger or broken your phone to cut off your contact with others.

But in the end, he always comes back to you with open arms, apologizing. And every time, you forgive him.

König

He's been tailing you nonstop. It's been ages since you two called it quits, yet every time you step out, you can't shake off the feeling of being watched.

He's always there, meticulously tracking your every move, whether you're alone or with your friends.

König watches you from a distance, careful not to get too close and blow his cover. He even went as far as snapping some pictures of you, which he proudly displayed on his wall, among others.

He used to keep you company during those long nights, lurking in your backyard, peering through your window just to catch you changing or totally naked.

You were well aware of it, and to make things easier for him, you purposely left the curtains open. König was undeniably creepy, but deep down, you still harbored a hint of affection for him.

Keegan

He’s in love with you. Keegan expresses his love through the most unexpected gestures, but only when you're alone together. When there are other people around, he transforms into the perfect gentleman - kind and flawless. Your friends have even praised you for choosing such a great guy.

But when you return home, everything changes. It's happened multiple times that he's embraced you from behind, gently caressing your hips and leaving a trail of wet kisses along your neck. You tilt your head back, giving him more space, only to feel something cold against your skin.

"The only way I can make you do what I want is by holding a knife to your throat?" he says, his words making you flinch. Every time he threatens you like this, it feels as if it's the first time.

"I know you enjoy provoking me, otherwise you wouldn't do it so often," he claims. You haven't done anything wrong, he just likes making you believe that. He enjoys seeing the fear in your eyes as he grabs your wrists and forces you to your knees.

You beg him to continue, knowing that he doesn't appreciate it when you oppose him. You have no reason to resist. He controls you, able to do whatever he pleases with you, especially when he lets the knife glide across your body.

"Tell me you'd die for me”.

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is i lost a friend I've known for decades because his romantic partner demanded that i, along with many other platonic friends, should gtfo his life. I know this isn't an aros only thing but I am aro and i never thought that this shitshow would happen to me too. So it's only a matter of time before i get yeeted out of all of my friend's lives because for some reason the romantic partner is of higher importance than the platonic companions. God.

... so like. I just want to be clear: when a romantic partner insists that their partner should not have friends (whether along gender lines or not), that is either explicitly an act of abuse (isolating them from other social structures) or at minimum a red flag of emotional immaturity (ie, jealousy) that will often become a component of abuse. it is not a normal thing. it is, at times, normalized by a culture that expects unhealthy relationships, but it is a blaring red siren for problems.

there is a huge difference between the friend themself choosing to leave you and their partner demanding control over their social circle. it doesn't make being thrown to the curb hurt less, but I do highly recommend leaving the door open for him, and in some way explicitly saying he can always still talk to you, even if you are upset with him. generally, at this point, it's not worthwhile to say "I think that this person is abusing you", because the control is being initiated and is actively monitored at this stage; you saying anything bad is going to be used as why he should cut you off, because "I can't believe you'd be friends with someone who hates your romantic partner!" is a thing.

If you can, please please read up about how to help friends in emotionally abusive relationships. the main point is: be open to listening, never initiate a negative comment about the abusive individual, but if he starts it? Listen. Say how you can see that, how does he feel about it? Does he want to do anything about it? If not, you gotta learn to say "Okay. Let me know if that ever changes." and move on. If he's not ready, it's way more important that he's still able to come to you and doesn't feel pressured, because then when he is ready, he knows who has never pressured him, always listened and let him make his own choices, and offered to help.

[valtsv]

hi hello! i recall you talking about how you used to have an unhealthy dependence on attention you got from the internet a while ago, and was wondering if you had any tips on how to help with that? i recently found myself sorta relying too much on the affirmation i get from Numbers Going Up and i wanna nip it in the bud before it becomes a Thing. thank you! ^^

i found that the best way to curb the addiction was to wean myself off it bit by bit. start with something small and achievable, like setting a time limit for how long you spend online in one sitting (set a timer to help you if necessary), or setting aside specific free periods in the day when you can check your notifications or whatever, then gradually limit it further until you've reached a point you're comfortable with. you'll find that the more you stick to the goals you've set for yourself, the more it'll start to feel like a reward and substitute for the affirmation you get from number go up (and you'll start to pay more attention to how you spend your limited time and what are the best ways to do so).

place your phone or laptop or whatever device you use for social media out of sight while doing other activities, so that you have to make the conscious effort to seek them out (and thus consider whether you really want to do it) (if i'm trying to concentrate on something, for example, i'll put my phone in a drawer or in my bag/pocket, and make sure i can't hear or see any notification messages). if you feel you can, turn off or temporarily mute your notifications - that works wonders for me.

use the free time you've created for yourself to seek out things you've always wanted to do but never felt like you had the time for. read the book you've been putting off, write something, draw something, get into that crafting hobby, or go for a walk and feed some birds at the pond, go out and challenge yourself to take a photo of something eyecatching to share with your friends, go to a cafe, meet up with a friend, try out that recipe you saved because you thought it sounded nice, look into social groups, events and clubs that cater to your interests/hobbies in your local area - even make use of the time you'd normally spend on social media to do something else online, like wikipedia deep diving, watching a show, or replying to that person you forgot to get back to.

above all, don't beat yourself up along the way. take each day as it comes and each relapse as motivation to keep pushing forwards and make it a little longer between the next one. don't blame yourself for what you can't change (the past) but try to focus on what you can (the future).

[veren-cos]

in response to last ask:

Ye I read that one. It was great (made me cry /pos)!! I was wondering if you mayhaps would do an extended fic of Sebastian comfort with it? If not, no pressure :)

Hope you have a good day!! :D

I'm here for you

Sebastian x reader who hasn't eaten enough

Tw: unhealthy eating habits / un-named eating disorder. If you struggle with similar topics please reach out to someone like a family member, friend, or doctor. Things will be okay, and help is available.

It was time for breakfast. You had woken up right on time, and began to make scrambled eggs and pancakes. You knew how to make them exactly how Sebastian wanted. So once it was done, you slowly woke him up and got him to the table.

..Which was when he noticed your plate was far more empty than his. Sebastian didn't eat much compared to the average guy, but it was enough for him. However, you were far more active, and generally ate more than what was on your plate.

"You feeling alright?" He questioned. "I know it's not my place to comment, but it feels like you've been eating less and less recently. It's concerning.." Sebastian looks straight at you, unsure if this is how he should be asking.

"Yes!" You shoot a false smile a him, "just, uh, haven't been that hungry! Plus I snacked as I was making it haha. So actually, I think I should get to work."

You abruptly stood up, causing the table to shift. The water you had poured came dangerously close to spilling over, but settled down as you walked away.

You knew you needed to eat, but something about it just felt *wrong*. Yes, you felt hungry, but it wasn't as bad as it used to be. It felt numb-er than before. The sting no longer a stab, but a prickle. You knew you shouldn't act like this. You knew this wasn't good in the long run. But how can you stop?

It had been nearly 3 days since you last had a proper meal. You were starting to run out of excuses to Sebastian, but somehow managed to find new reasons every time. You ate while making it! You had lunch with your friends! You ate before he woke up. You'll just eat later. Each excuse in and out of the book.

But now he was noticing. Why couldn't he just leave it alone? You had finished your work today, and was sitting on the couch. Sebastian came to cuddle next to you, which had become the norm after getting married.

"Babe?" He called up from your lap. You merely hummed in response, waiting for him to continue. "Babe I think we should talk about this morning"

And you tensed up again. "I told you earlier, I ate while making the food! And I just haven't been hungry recently."

Sebastian shifted to sitting up. "Yes, okay. But that doesn't explain how for the last 3 days you haven't eaten a single thing. Your friends said you never even came over when you said you had lunch with them! They said that they saw you heading up to the mines."

He sighed and turned to look you dead in the eyes. He picked up your hands as he spoke, "I'm not mad at you. Sweetheart, I just want to know you're okay. You have to eat."

"Sebastian I know what I'm doing. I've got things under control it's fine." You tried to shake his hands off but he only held onto you tighter.

"My love you clearly don't. It isn't fine. Just look at your hands!" You hadn't noticed, but the lack of proper sustience was weighing on you. Your hands had a shake to them. "I just need you to tell me what's wrong, or how I can help. I'm here for you. but I can't do anything if you don't tell me things."

You sighed. "Sebastian it's okay."

"No it's not okay and we are going in a circle now!" He shouted at you. "Repeating our points will get us no where so either you tell me what's going on or I'll bring Harvey into this."

God that was the last thing you wanted. You didn't want to bring a doctor into this. Through shaky breaths you started, "fine... fine."

Sebastian calmed himself and squeezed your hands. "Okay, thank you."

"This is just the one thing I have. It's not the first time it's happened. I just.." You huffed, "Why is this so hard!! It shouldn't be this hard to talk about it!"

"Hey shh shhh, it's okay keep going." Sebastian waited patiently before you began again.

"I've been really stressed recently? It's very overwhelming to go from someone at a terrible desk job hating themselves to go to a new farmer in an extremely tight knit community. It's weird. Everything is going so much better, where it feels like I'm just waiting for it to fall apart. So I started freaking out! I can't control when people will leave. When my life will change again. But I can control this. It started.. a while ago. Just skipping breakfast or lunch every once in a while. But recently I've just been. Eating nothing??? And it doesn't even feel bad. And that's the problem! I know it should but I just can't seem to stop. I know I need to eat. I know! And I was trying so hard to keep it under control but now you know and I'm freaking out and Sebastian I think I need help."

The more you spoke the faster you got. But once you were done you felt yourself be pulled into a tight hug.

"Alright. There you go shhh it's okay" Tears started to pool in your eyes, slipping down to the end of your face. "It's okay, I'm here for you. I can take over food things for a while. Okay?" He rubbed circles into your back as he spoke. "You don't have to think about it, I'll take care of it. After a while, we can try having you make yourself food again. But right now I need to just make sure you are eating. Okay?"

"Okay.." You tried to stop crying but the tears just kept coming. "I'm sorry Sebastian."

"Shh don't apologize. I'm sorry I yelled earlier."

"So you can apologize but now me?" You laughed through the tears.

He lightly smacked the back of your head, "shut up I was trying to be nice."

"..thank you."

"Of course."

Masterlist

An* so uh I kinda went off the rails a bit in there but the overall theme of the request stayed the same- sorry it took so long, but I hope you liked it!!! And I hope you have a good day too <3

Please send me requests y'all! I mostly write hurt/comfort but i also write fluff!!! They might take me forever but more often than not I'll write it, and it gives me ideas and options! lol

[purgemarchlockdown]

Mikoto being so heavily associated with the female characters while Kotoko isn't is really intriguing with how he's so heavily sexualized in MeMe and plays into a lot of horror tropes.

The bathtub and the shower scene are common locations in horror, especially for Women. With one of the most iconic horror scenes Ever being the shower scene from Psycho, in which a woman is murdered in the shower.

Not to mention the lyrical pattern of calling back the title of the first MV that all the girls, except for Kotoko, follow. With Mikoto actually calling back to the title of his T1 MV in Double and having it be such an important part of it that they call back to it in the Trial 2 Album. Something originally pointed out by oboetmasuka here and candckirby who also mentions Mikoto's role as the "Final girl" and his consistent pregnancy metaphor with how John is called a newborn.

I think the way Kotoko connects to Masculinity is subtler but just as important, her interrogation question shows she's not attached to it, but she doesn't seem against it or anything.

(Kotoko Interrogations)

T1Q10: What do you think about the word 'feminimity'? A: It's one of the means you can take. It's something you can freely choose depending on the scene, so it's not something to cling onto.

Kotoko doesn't wear anything traditionally feminine but she doesn't lean super masculine either...except.

Okay so, 1moremilgram-enjoyer made this really interesting post about Kotoko's cap you can read here. Basically her cap has the name Jacques Roulet on it's front. Jacques Roulet is the name of a Male Serial Killer who killed two children and claimed to be a werewolf.

This cap appears in her outfit in Harrow:

But also appears in her T2 Design:

Establishing some sort of connection between him and Kotoko.

If we're reading into this Further. John and Kotoko are actually very similar in their want to become someone's "savior" as that's what gives them a sense of purpose.

John's an interesting character in this dynamic. Because if Mikoto is the helpless princess, John is the faithful prince. Coming to save his pitiful damsel whose too weak to protect himself.

(Mikoto T2 VD)

John: It’s true that I was the one who wanted to destroy everything… and the weakness of Boku, who couldn’t stand up for himself all alone, might have been the origin of that. But… that’s all there is to it. Is that a sin?

Mikoto has little to no agency and he Knows This. He doesn't know what's happening, is confused and terrified all the time, and feels like he's on a train with an unknown destination. He feels powerless and like he has no control. While John tries his best to help him, but ultimately harms him, cause John will do what He thinks Mikoto needs without knowing what Mikoto wants. Something he seems regretful for.

Hey, I just wanted to save you So why did it come to this?

However, Kotoko does have some sense of Power and Agency and actively Holds this over others.

From the begin I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. Useless Weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!

There's nothing inherently wrong with wanting to present more masculine or feminine. However, there is a problem with enforcing strict and rigid roles onto people, especially if those roles enforce systems of power that allow for the exploitation of groups of people by elevating one group and putting down the other.

Even if the gender roles the two fit in are flipped, it is still playing into unhealthy ideals of gender and society that perpetuate abusive systems of power.

(Utena Scripts)

Voice:  Was the ring from the prince meant as an engagement ring? Voice:  That part was good, Voice:  but because of the strength of her admiration for the prince, Voice:  the princess made up her mind to become a prince herself! Voice:  But is that really good for her?

(I got it in!)

I think I might have to wait for Deep Cover's MV to release to fully discuss this, but this is really curious to me.

[wordsandrobots]

I finished IBO recently, and I don't think I fully get why people call Mika and Orga's relationship one of "toxic codependence". That they depend on each other is obvious, but I feel like I'm missing out on why people think their relationship is unhealthy.

(Thank you for giving me a reason to procrastinate on the chapter I have nearly finished but my brain has gone 'nah' over.)

The way I look at it, there are two key levels on which it's unhealthy. These are related but I think it's worth distinguishing them, because one plays into wider problems within Tekkadan, while the other is a deeply personal matter between Orga and Mika.

But first of all, I think it's important to be clear: Orga and Mika's relationship is rooted in genuine care and affection. This is not apparent friendship built on a lie. These two really are together for life and there are many positive aspects to that. We see them joking about early on, Mika making sure Orga eats (whether he wants to or not), the ease with which they operate as a double-act -- and there's a real sense each would be dead before the series began if not for the other.

However, there is also a profound imbalance at the heart of their relationship. I've written before about how that imbalance is inverted compared to what it looks like at first glance; that is, Mika is the dominant personality, with Orga twisting to follow his wishes. At the same time, yes, Mika has absolutely outsourced his decision-making to Orga. No question. It might be Mika's desires and dreams that ultimately shape their path, but Orga is still the one making choices about where to go and who to shoot.

And it's the absolute degree of Mika's surrender that fucks Orga up. Because, to a very specific point, Mika will do exactly what Orga tells him without question. Period. Everybody else's opinions and orders are secondary to the man he's picked as his guiding star in life. I say 'man'; I mean 'boy'. This started when they were kids, after all, which is why Orga's sense of responsibility is quite so thoroughly warped.

As far as Orga is concerned, being in charge means working everything out on his own. Because Mika does not help him. Mika, at most, offers gut feelings for why something should be done; he never provides useful input on how to get from A to B. So Orga internalises that the buck stops with him, that he always has to be the decisive one, always has to have a plan.

It's masked to begin with because Biscuit is there as the angel on his other shoulder, offering useful advice and acting his second-in-command. However -- Orga never actually listens to what Biscuit has to say about the direction Tekkadan should go. That's the central tension in their relationship, in fact. Orga actively expects Biscuit to go along with what he chooses because that's what Mika does.

With Biscuit gone, there's nobody left to make even a token attempt at calling him on this tendency. Eugene utterly fails to, despite having a good set of instincts, because he's too committed to Tekkadan and too easily swayed by other people who seem to know better. Merribit gives it her best shot, but lacks the tools to approach the boys convincingly. Kudelia doesn't see it as her place. And the rest of Tekkadan fall in line over and over, reinforcing Orga's bad habits.

They trust him, is the thing. They trust him to deliver on the dreams he weaves, enough to offer up their lives on his say-so. None more than Mika himself, who literally gives an arm and a leg to make sure Orga's plans come through.

There is a point where this commitment slips out of Orga's control. I'm not sure where to pin it generally but the battle with the mobile armour is when Mikazuki makes it clear he isn't going to back down on the idea of becoming kings of Mars. He's seen Orga latch on to McGillis' offer as *the* destination, their place, where they can all be together and happy. And because he's always done whatever is necessary to see Orga's plans come through, he . . . does precisely that. Even knowing it's going to injure him further. Even with Orga literally telling him not to.

Making sure Orga gets his victory is more important.

I should stress how much this fucks Mikazuki up as well. I tend to focus a lot on Orga, but Mikazuki reduces himself down to a weapon for Orga's sake. To the point of breathing a sigh of relief once he's been sufficiently disabled he thinks he won't have a life outside Barbatos any more. Atra says at one point that Mikazuki is lazy over things that don't interest him -- that includes conceptualising an existence beyond fighting and following Orga. He does have his own dreams (being a farmer, seeing interesting sights) but actually working out how to achieve them after he's given away so much to Orga is beyond him. In the end, he simply gives them away too and chooses to keep following what he imagines Orga's orders would be.

Neither of these boys intended to do this to each other. That's the tragic part. Orga uses Mika as a weapon because it's the smart choice but it tears him up inside to see what that does to Mika as a person. Meanwhile, Mika insists what happens to him comes from his own choices and isn't something Orga should feel guilty over or see as a reason to give up.

And . . . here's where we move from the first level (Orga's no-middle-gear sense of responsibility coupled to Mika's unconditional loyalty) to the level on which Mika personally scares Orga into escalating over and over again.

It's that scene in the Montag Company ship. Or, no, it's not just that: Orga talks earlier about how he constantly feels Mika's eyes on him. Yet it's following Biscuit's death that this aspect of their relationship is laid bare.

I love this scene so much. It has the form of a triumphal rescue from grief, complete with swelling musical score, in much the way Mika often has the form of being the daring protagonist. But the content is Mika being the most blatantly scary he ever is in the entire show. The way he looks at Orga -- the way he always looks at Orga, his unblinking, uncompromising stare -- is at last framed as an overt threat. Mika is not going to let Orga give up because Orga promised to take him to the better place. What Orga wants is irrelevant.

Ah, screw it, I'm transcribing the dub script because it is so, so good.

"Tell me. What do you want me to do next, Orga?" "Hey give me a break. I'm just -" "Look I'm sorry. But I can't stop yet." "That's enough." "Now I wanna know -" "I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH -" Mika grabs Orga by the shirt, dragging him close. "Is this the place you told me about? 'Cos I won't stop. Not 'til we're there. I can't. On that day, Orga, I decided. So. How many should I kill? How many more until we get there? Because I need to know. Tell me, Orga Itsuka! You're gonna take me, aren't you? That's what you told me! What should I do next -?” "GET OFF ME! Orga throws Mika at the locker in the corner and stands up. "Yeah, alright, fine. I'll get you there. Can't turn around now anyway. That's what you want, RIGHT? No matter want kind of hell might be waiting for us. OK? Then I'll do it. And I'm bringing everyone with me." "Yeah. That's right. Take us there. So who do you need me to take out then? And what d'you want me to destroy? 'Cos if I finally get to reach that place someday, there's nothing that I won't do." SFX: lightning and thunder

This is not Mika pulling Orga out of the darkness. It's Mika driving Orga further into it, into a battle that kills dozens and very nearly ends with every single named character dead (in the real world, the commissioning of a second season saved them; in universe, it's stubbornness and pure fluke).

What would it be like to have someone so committed to what you've promised them, they would do anything for you, up to and including refusing to let you break your word? What would that be like if said person was the most dangerous individual you had ever met in your life, because there is a point past having no sense of self-preservation where no line is 'too far'?

That's Orga living with Mika as his shadow. That's not healthy. That's not sane. Orga comes loose at the seams attempting to be what Mika expects of him, and I think he's genuinely terrified of what might happen if he can't.

It goes the other way too. The scene in the ship is one of two times I'd say, yeah, that's what Mika looks like when he's scared. The other is immediately prior, when it seems Carta is going to kill Orga. 'That's what you told me' isn't just a reminder for Orga; it's the closest Mika gets to a crisis of faith. Seeing the one you believe in waver is its own form of terror and Mika has committed everything he's got to Orga. He can't conceive of stopping now.

[I should say, I primarily watched the dub and the vocal performances vary somewhat here even if the underlying intent doesn't. I love what Kyle McCarley does, injecting a note of increasing franticness into Mika's speech, but Kengo Kawanishi hits the volume rise hard on 'What should I do next?', hammering home just how much he needs an answer. Of course, they then both give Mika this deliciously bloodthirsty joy when he gets the one he's looking for.]

I don't know if there's anything Orga could do that would truly break Mika's faith or push Mika to turn that prodigious strength against him. I don't get the feeling Mika is the kind of person who'd ever hurt a friend for real. He isn't cruel and we see how much friendship matters to him (woe betide anyone who hurts the people close to him).

But what these two are actually capable of is beside the point. What matters is what they think of one another and they each think the other is the most amazing thing in existence. Orga sees Mika as near superhuman and Mika sees Orga as fantastically brilliant, and they're both afraid of being proved wrong, so they aim for an impossibility imposed by their mutual expectations.

The further they head down the shortest path to their goals, the more Mika crumbles physically and the more Orga crumbles emotionally. Like an engine shaking itself to pieces as it turns faster and faster. Love, hope, faith, determination -- and no brakes. A mad charge towards destruction.

I don't tend to describe things as 'toxic'. For whatever reason, it's not a word with much presence in my vocabulary. Still, I think it fits here. Mika and Orga's relationship might have been healthy, in a kinder world. It's undeniably the most important aspect of their lives. There's no intention on either on part to cause hurt. But the combination of who they are and the circumstances they are trapped in means they're ultimately toxic to each other.

No matter how much they care or want what's best, the very form of their relationship impedes their ability to grow, cuts them off from those who might be able to help with that, and eventually leads them to their deaths.

-----

Well, that's how I see it anyway. I hope this helped? I think Iron-Blooded Orphans does some pretty brilliant things in terms of presenting fucked-up relationships that have positive aspects while at the same time dooming the participants, so I'm always happy to ramble about that aspect of the show. Or indeed, any aspect of it at all!

[pet-pet-peet]

I don’t know if my request got through, I’m sorry in advance if it and I’m wasting your time reading this. I asked for some platonic headcanons for azul, floyd, and malleus where they visit readers school in their world for the event. (Malleus uses magic to hide his horns)

Omg wait this is super cute! The Malleus part gives me vibes to My Inner Demons (Aphmau)

I am trying to go through my drafts and post the ones I had done, this will not be inspired by canon!

Story: They visit your school in your world with you for a week

Tw: cafeteria food slander from personal experience; lmk!

Pairing(s): Azul, Floyd, Malleus x gn reader going to their school (separate) (platonic)

𝕬𝖟𝖚𝖑

He stands out a bit because of his hair, but otherwise everyone sees him normally

For the most part- he does have moments where he’s caught being confused over a piece of history everyone in your world has learned-

Very interested in seeing how different schools in your world function, even if the differences are slight

He’s a little bit thrown off when he learns there’s no magic at all, makes him overly aware of his magic and when he uses it

He likes to talk to your other friends to get dirt on you, just in case he ever needs it

Probably becomes really popular through the time he attends your school

Also picks up the academics really easily, which makes the teachers like him

You have to tell him not to set up his deals in your world- he probably does so anyway, though

Hates your cafeteria’s food, it doesn’t taste how he likes and feels unhealthy, so he convinces you to either bring him food from home or buy him more (but he does it in an Azul way that’ll end up with him not being in your debt, probably makes deals with you to help you with something)

Probably has a lot of fun, learns some things he’s definitely gonna find a way to incorporate into his business practices

𝕱𝖑𝖔𝖞𝖉

He’s very clingy to you, so even if teachers want him to go somewhere else he’ll stay with you or force you to go with him

On the chance he’s not feeling the classes, he’ll ditch them and just wander around and explore the school grounds

He doesn’t usually feel like learning things from your world, doesn’t really see the point in it, so he probably just distracts you while you’re in class together

Stands out immediately, probably one of the tallest guys in your school so everyone notices him immediately in the halls. That on top of his hair and eyes, he becomes very popular very quickly

Drags you around in between periods to show you places he thought were cool hiding spots from teacher (he confirms he used them when you ask)

Even though he’s only there for a week, he gets random love letters everyday and makes you read them to him because he can’t be bothered to focus long enough to do so himself

Doesn’t mind the school food, but probably doesn’t eat much of it anyway cause it’s still not the best

Doodles on all the paperwork he’s given instead of actually filling them out; that said, art is his best subject in your world (Unless you’re also in a music class, then that’s his favorite and best subject)

Probably antagonizes some of the staff because he thinks it's funny, doesn't end too well for you though

Mixed bag, finds it incredibly boring some days, finds it interesting for others

𝕸𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖚𝖘

He makes sure to stick by the strict rule: he isn't allowed to use magic except to hide his horns and ears

He towers over everyone and quickly becomes notorious for it, if he didn't actively seek you out you'd probably never be able to get through the crowds that always surround him

His high class vibe gets a lot of people's attention, so he gets invited to quite a bit of parties for a change. He's pretty prideful of it, but usually forgets or just doesn't go cause you aren't going

He absorbs your history relatively easily, but will still ask you for more details on the different subjects you learn

Definitely almost forgot to hide his horns one day and you had to panic remind him before he left the apartment

Gets lost when walking around your school sometimes since he's trying to find any sign of gargoyles that may have been removed

Sometimes he just wants to ditch with you, the history of your world is fascinating and all but he wants to see it more instead of just hearing about it

Pretty sensitive when people try to tease his eyes and fangs, but hides it behind snarky remarks and sarcasm

Absolutely refuses to eat food from the cafeteria, also refuses to call it food. You have to bring him lunch or buy it from somewhere better if you want him to eat

Remembers quite a few of the stories he learned, both real and fake, and made sure to recite them to the rest of Diasomnia (he never clarified which were real or not. Have fun explaining to the gang that the Wizard of Oz doesn't exist)

[sepublic]

            “You assume Belos’ goal comes from a genuine place. But that man doesn’t care about anything but his need to be the hero in his own delusion, and because of that, he fears what he can’t control.”

         I think of this line in the context of the previous episode being For the Future, and how the Titan’s description of Belos is meant to contrast with who Luz is as a person. Because in FtF’s climax, Camila has a breakthrough with Luz regarding her self-loathing for mistakes and things that frankly were out of her control, that Luz shouldn’t blame herself for; As Camila reminds her daughter, mistakes happen sometimes. That’s okay. And we try to prevent bad things from happening…

         But in Camila’s case especially, that attempt to control things to protect her daughter just alienated Luz, hurt her deeply. Likewise, Luz’s hero complex evolves over the course of the series… It becomes less openly glamorous and more ‘humble’, but in a way it still exists. When Luz blames herself for her friends being separated from their parents even though that wasn’t even her call, it’s because she thinks she’s the hero. When she blames herself for helping Philip, it’s because Luz is the hero. When Luz, a freaking teenager, can’t help Eda against this genocidal dictatorship, it’s because Luz is the hero and she’s failed.

         Luz still has this unhealthy expectation of herself; Where she’s supposed to actively repent for her past selfishness and mistakes by fixing everything. She’s supposed to be the friend who takes the burden for others, who doesn’t saddle them with her own issues. Luz is supposed to help Eda with her curse, and later with her family situation with Gwen. Luz is trying to direct her attention outwards, towards others, but there’s ultimately this unintentionally self-centered approach where if bad things happen, it’s a reflection on Luz as a person, and she is basically the only who can determine what happens, the input of others ignored.

         That leads to risky maneuvers, like when Luz attempts to take Hunter's place against Belos at the skull, or hides the truth to keep the others from worrying. It’s this misguided desire to be the self-sacrificial martyr, another kind of hero. It’s this need to feel like Luz is in control; That she CAN fix things on her own, that she CAN help, and she COULD have done something, meaning if things go wrong regardless, it’s Luz’s fault.

         It’s a double-edged sword of claiming autonomy, because it means Luz refuses to blame outside factors for her failures, it’s all on her. It’s comforting in its own way to think she could’ve done something better, because it means Luz can do better next time, right? It means Luz doesn’t have to worry about the uncertainty of the future if she just tries hard enough, correct?

         But Camila has to remind her daughter that you can try your best and still fail. You’re still human (for lack of a better term), just as Willow is when she isn’t able to keep everything going smoothly in that same episode. And that’s alright; You can take responsibility, but you can’t overcompensate and consider yourself the ‘hero’ in charge of everyone’s wellbeing. Which brings me back to that point about the Titan summarizing the differences between Luz and Belos, what makes one good and the other bad, so to speak;

         Belos fears what he can’t control, because he needs to be the hero who controls everything and can accomplish whatever he wants; Look how much he thrives on having control over people, manipulating them, adapting to a situation, it makes him feel clever and superior. But Luz, while she afraid for a bit… Thanks to her mother, she’s finally begun to accept that she can’t control things. Luz isn’t the perfect hero, she needs the help of others. She’ll make mistakes, or even make no mistakes and still lose! Luz can’t do everything to look after her mother or vice-versa, you have to let people do their own thing, and that also includes herself.

         Luz does legitimately care about others; She’ll consider other points of view, like she did when showing sympathy to Amity early in their interactions. Luz can reevaluate what she does because it’s about doing right, not being right, even if it might not be as glamorous. Contrast that with Belos, who refuses to admit that he could’ve made the wrong call about witches and his brother, because then he’s not the hero.

         And his need to be right matters more than helping people, which is why Belos sacrifices his own brother rather than letting go of that narrative of himself as the one saving humanity. If he were just misguided, he’d have eventually accepted there was nothing to worry about (Philip is very perceptive, he can tell), but Belos didn’t because that meant no longer being the hero, and he knew his priorities when pushed to choose only one. A classic case of bias distorting reasonable analysis.

         They both wanted to be the hero, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with that; After all, Eda specifies at the end of Witches before Wizards that you can still healthily engage with reality, while also working to achieve your dreams. That’s how Luz’s character arc ends, too; She gets to become the hero she wanted to be, while still engaging with the people and world around her and not becoming entitled or arrogant.

         There’s nothing wrong with Luz wanting things for herself, nothing wrong with Luz thinking about or prioritizing herself, despite what her self-loathing claims. Despite her decision to stay in the human world because choosing a place she’s happy is a mistake that hurt her mother. But you have to keep other people in mind… You have to critically examine and ask yourself; Is it really about helping others and making sure all is okay, or is it simply the satisfaction of being the savior who corrects these NPCs, and wants an evil to campaign against? Which will you prioritize? This is especially relevant in progressive circles, which fits given TOH’s politics.

         Likewise, you gotta remember yourself, too. You don’t have to be 100% pure and selfless in your motives when helping people, it’s okay to want to be loved in return. You don’t have to necessarily choose between others and yourself, and Luz doesn’t have to choose between both worlds, or what kind of magic she uses, her type of Palisman, etc.

[reverseblackholeofwords]

Hi, just wanted to remind you that I still love all the ego stuff you wrote. I was a big lurker during the time you actively wrote it but dude it was so fucking good.

When I think about the egos, I mostly think about your stuff bc it made the characters come to life. It was so good. I can’t say it enough.

The stuff I’m pulling from memory rn is Anti’s time in The Forgotten. Like my bro, my dude, my homie. That shit pulled at my heart. The fact that he was only gone for like a day or smt in our dimension but he had actually been gone for like 10 years in that dimension experiencing horrors unknown. AND NOBEDY KNEW???? Good shit.

The relationship between the Host and dr. Iplier. Still one of my fav bromances. Like the trust between them and how it was made through hardships. It came to a point where Host even trusted Doc with his name??? Which gave him power over Host, something he was so afraid of. Doc made him a better man. Stopped him from being too cruel. But than he had to forget it bc he went insane. BUT BECAUSE HOST IS AN ASS, HE MADE DOC AND ANTI FORGET EVERYTHING. My guy, that’s your platonic husband and adopted son. Yes I was screaming about that. That still gets me going.

There is so much other stuff too though. Like Anti and Doc becoming family. The egos all getting closer. Phantom being an absolute menace every time he appeared. The Googles becoming more and more human over time.

You introduced me to Wiggles. Didn’t know anything about PJ before I started reading your works.

What it all boils down to, is me wanting to thank you. I don’t know how you look back on those ego stories but it got me through some dark times. You updating it always made my day better. I still carry a piece of it with me everywhere I go and has also inspired me a lot. So thank you!

Oh man, thank you so much for taking time to send this! It's honestly insanely encouraging to hear those stories stuck with you. I still love them a lot myself, cringe or no, because they're such a fun time capsule of that period in my life, and this blog and all the people who followed it (lurkers and all) also helped me get through college in one piece.

Gosh I did put Anti through so much, but in my defense, it was for character development! He and Ollie were always one of my favorite dynamics to write, personally. I mean, the computer glitch demon and the sentient android with a heart of gold? I still haven't made up something that good since. Also the Mare and Phantom dynamic, which they were always managing to screw up somehow. Unhealthy sibling dynamics are the best.

It's also insane that so much of the Host stuck with you because he was always my favorite to write and the one that felt the most like mine at the end of the day. The fact that Mark announced he'd retired him as a character and we all collectively agreed to kidnap him and give him a story is still one of this fandom's shining moments in my mind. In fact, I've kinda snagged Host for different original stories I'm writing now just because I miss writing him so much. I've also kept The Forgotten as a concept, which is definitely getting used in a setting I'm working on now because the angst potential is indeed too good to deny.

Also, while we're strolling down memory lane, what one writer gets to wipe their entire canon midway through and start over again in an alternate timeline whilst using references to the previous timeline to terrorize their readers? Ending one timeline of the blog to begin another was a wild but fascinating experiment on my part to see how I could use it to play with foreshadowing and all that jazz. Plus nothing will ever quite beat letting the audience reach into the narrative and start making their own waves from time to time.

But even though I do mostly original stories now, I'm still loving writing found families and platonic soulmates and maybe the redeeming of one or two villains, so I appreciate all the practice and the feedback I got from these stories! I'll probably keep sneaking Ego references into my stories forever. I'd also be curious to know which story arcs stuck with other people??

[bern-the-bridge]

Emily Might Have Bitten Off More Than She Can Chew

(Hazbin Hotel Spoilers)

Do I know in depth lore about Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss? No. However, I have a degree in creative writing, I’ve seen an unhealthy amount of animated shows, and I’ve analyzed every frame of You Didn’t Know roughly a jillion times. So, I think I’m qualified to share my observations.

So from what I’ve seen from the fandom, a lot of people are already pointing their fingers to Sera and blaming her for letting the executions happen, which is valid. However, like she said, there’s a lot that we don’t know.

First of all, let’s take a look at the character designs for Sera’s and Emily’s partial angelic and pure angelic forms.

So one obvious change is how they both have more eyes. Yes, multiple eyes are a reference to the appearance of biblically accurate angels, however it’s more than that. Sera and Emily introduce themselves while in their pure angelic forms before transforming into their humanoid forms. And like demons, later in the episode they only transform into their partial angelic forms when they feel strong emotions, mostly anger. And they specifically transform after it’s revealed that angels are actively executing demons.

When she finds out about this, Emily’s eyes are literally opened. She now gets a glimpse at the false utopian society they had built.

But Sera clearly has more eyes than Emily, indicating her higher ranking among the seraphims and her age. But it’s also an implication that she knows much more than she lets on. Emily might have gotten a taste of the brutal reality they live in, but Sera is much more aware of the situation, and there’s a lot that she’s purposefully hiding from her.

Sera also has eyes all over her body, which could be a suggestion that she is all seeing. However, while she does have eyes all over her body, they all face the same general direction. From the frames we’ve seen at least, there are no eyes behind her or on her sides. So she might believe that she is all seeing, but even she has blindspots and instead tunnel visions on her own priorities. And because all of eyes face forward, she only focuses on what’s in front of her, her people.

Furthermore, while Emily only has her eyes opened after she discovers the truth, Sera already knew about the exterminations. Which means when she transformed into her humanoid form, especially in front of demons, she’s quite literally turning a blind eye to them.

Then of course, there’s the scene wherein they sing You Didn’t Know.

From what I’ve seen, when most people analyze Sera, they reference the first image. We can see the fires of hell reflected in Sera’s eyes, which is an image usually used to show a villain watching the evil they have wrought. However, this can also be seen as a symbol of the distance Sera has placed in between herself and the exterminations. The actual image of the flames are contained in the eyes of her humanoid form, which downplays the severity. Yet her predominantly white color scheme becomes tainted with red, meaning she could be oblivious to how corrupt she’s become. But what actually intrigues me about this frame is that Sera isn’t looking at the scene in hell. She’s looking at Emily. All of the destruction she’s caused, she did so for Emily and her people.

And what I don’t see enough people talking about is the second image, because how it’s framed is also normally used for villains. After the first time Emily looks at the scene, she doesn’t really look at it again. She instead looks at Sera or Charlie or the other angels. She literally has her back turned to the atrocities in hell, which can mean a handful of things.

It could just be a way of portraying her ignorance. Because Sera kept secrets from her and because Emily never thought to question their system, she wasn’t able to try and help sooner. However, it could also be a hint about what could happen next.

I think Emily is gonna mess up somehow by trying to stop the exterminations. Like Sera, even when she grows more eyes in her partial angelic and pure angelic forms, Emily’s eyes all still face the same general direction. In fact, if you look closely, they seem to be even more fixed towards one point than Sera. Her extra eyes are always concentrating on what her humanoid eyes are looking at. Maybe Emily will be so fixated on saving the demons that she neglects her duties as a seraphim. Maybe she gets blindsided by whatever Sera’s withholding from her because she can’t see the bigger picture. Maybe she ends up doing more harm than good. Maybe something bad happens and it winds up being her fault.

Finally, there are blatant parallels between Emily and Charlie. While fans love to compare them, they tend to forget how much more naive Emily is than Charlie. And remember what Charlie does back in Episode Four: Masquerade? While attempting to help Angel Dust, her actions lead to setting the studio aflame and she indirectly hurts Angel. And it’s fascinating to me how a story set primarily in hell only has two significant scenes that predominantly shows fire, the scene wherein Charlie causes one, and the scene wherein Emily witnesses the angels cause them. So perhaps Emily and Charlie’s similarities won’t stop there, and Emily will wind up making some big mistakes with the best intentions.

All of this to say, I can’t wait to watch the last two episodes later, I’m withholding judgement on Sera until we learn more about whatever secrets she has, and I predict Emily will accidentally cause a huge mess.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for planning to cut off a two-year friendship at the end of summer?

A bit of background:

I (19X) have been active friends with T (19M) since soon after the start of senior year. We bonded over shared interests and classes, and I was mostly just glad to have someone to talk to since I (prob ADHD and/or autistic) have trouble keeping friends. We've taken the shift from high school to college okay, not having to talk everyday, but in high school it almost felt stifling.

I moved around a lot as a kid, so two years is a lot for me even to this day. Most of my "friendships" in the past consisted of me latching on to a random classmate and trying to figure out how the "friend" thing worked by joining their conversations. Thinking back, I don't know how many of them even considered me an acquaintance, and I'm almost certain none of them remember me.

T, conversely, latched on to me first. In high school he would message me all the time, and we hung out a lot, to the point where multiple classmates and my parents asked if we were dating (we're both aroace and i'm nonamorous). While they weren't right, I could see where they were coming from.

I don't know details but T (definite anxiety, possible other) feels like his self-worth is tied to what he can do for others, resulting in a lot of gifts over the past two years. I managed to dissuade him from instantly buying anything I mention but it's kinda hard.

More recently, the issue seems to be a combination of seeing each other less and our mental health issues conflicting. T often messages me when having anxiety attacks, which I have been able to talk out with logic before but it's really tiring (my mother (50F) has anxiety too and I help her when necessary). I've been dropping my masks more often at college, setting boundaries with myself, and becoming more aware of how much is too much, especially emotionally.

T's anxiety tells him that if I'm not messaging him that I hate him (sometimes even if I am he's still convinced), while any time I open our text chain or discord it feels tiring to send a message and keep active in our friendship. I'm suspecting I might also be aplatonic and I moved around a lot as a kid so two years is a long friendship for me.

This all culminated in me deciding at the start of summer that I would stop being friends with T at the start of fall (we share a summer class and it would be awkward) due to a combination of both of us needing therapy and me not being built for friendships right now (if ever). T is distraught but he's tied his entire worth as a human being to being my friend and that's not healthy for either of us.

TL;DR: I don't understand how friendship works but this feels unhealthy for both of us due to our mental health.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[cimoris]

An Unused WIP

A common misconception about charging animatronic is that they need to sleep or power down during the process. In reality, animatronics can still be active during charging. Most just prefer staying in place to avoid the chance of tangling up the charging cord by moving. It also became a great excuse to rest. 

Charging while staying awake had its downside. Similar to a phone, being active while charging can reduce the battery performance of an animatronic. 

Eclipse knew that well with Moon’s frequent trip to part and services. Or, occasionally, to Monty Golf when it had not been a month since his last battery replacement. Monty’s help and understanding to provide the replacement battery forced Eclipse to endure interacting with them. 

(He is very grateful toward the gator. He didn’t know how many more battery replacements the company would provide before deciding to decommission Moon.)

(He won’t lose another brother. Not again.)

Eclipse once confronted Moon about the unhealthy lifestyle and the risk of decommissioning. It only led to heated arguments and thrown items. 

(Moon called him a hypocrite. Telling Eclipse to fix his sleeping schedule before minding his brother’s.)

The debate was on the table for a few months, then they both just stopped. Eclipse was too tired to argue with Moon anyway. (Especially when his own battery was failing.) He resorted to slaving away as both mechanic and daycare attendant. Pushing himself to the limit to repay Monty’s help.

(Monty told him to keep the money. They told him that the brothers needed the cash more, and that Sun needed it more.)

With Eclipse no longer bothering him, Moon went deeper down the rabbit hole. Often he forgot to check his charge level. (Eclipse found him passed out in front of Sun with hands around a wrench.) His solution was to attach the charging cord on him all the time. It damaged his battery at a faster rate. 

At this point, Eclipse believed that Moon would only stop when Sun woke up. Or when Fazbear Entertainment decided to decommission him. The first option was close to impossible to happen and the second option was just not a choice. 

That was until the other ‘Sun’ arrived. 

Now, the two were sitting on the blue mat tainted by oil stains. Inky black covering the animatronics’ bodies and clothes: blue becomes black and yellow becomes brown. ‘Sun’ still had their arms wrapped around Moon, while Moon’s arm had gone limp on his side. Had Eclipse missed the soft snores, he would have thought Moon was dead. (Just the thought of it sent electric shock through his wires.) 

It only took a few minutes of them meeting and several hours of crying for Moon to finally fall asleep. A miracle done by a stranger that Eclipse, Moon’s brother, could not achieve. (As happy as he was for his brother, he felt disappointment for himself. He failed to help his brother for the past few years and this stranger managed to in less than a day.)

Eclipse carefully placed his toolbox on the security desk, avoiding the fragile dent from earlier in the afternoon. It made a small clutter, not enough to wake Moon, but enough to alert ‘Sun’ of his presence. 

“Hey, Eclipse.” ‘Sun’ waved him over, careful not to wake Moon. “Can you help me a little?”

Eclipse took a closer look at them and grimaced. ‘Sun’ had been sitting on his heels. Judging from Moon’s position, the full weight of two animatronics fell onto ‘Sun.’ He could not imagine how uncomfortable it must have been for ‘Sun’ to be in that position for the last few hours. 

“You should have woken him up.” Eclipse was grateful that ‘Sun’ let Moon sleep. Who knows when the next time Moon would let himself sleep?

“Yeah, but I kinda feel bad.” ‘Sun’ pushes Moon slightly off him and straight into Eclipse’s arms. He stretched his arms a little then straightened his feet on the oily mat. “My feet felt numb around an hour ago. I think one of the wiring got squeezed.”

Eclipse nodded, “Sorry, and thanks for not waking him up.” He pulled oily arms around him, careful for it not to slip his grip. “Don’t worry about the mess. I’ll clean it up myself. You should ask your Moon to look at the wiring.”

“Are you sure?” ‘Sun’ looked around him, “I can stick around for a while.”

“It’s fine, Sun.” Eclipse was glad that ‘Sun’ was covered in his brother’s tears: yellow became brown, red became maroon. The traveller looked nothing like his other brother. 

(As much as he is grateful to ‘Sun,’ he would also like for him to go as soon as possible. He doesn't know how much longer his self-control will last.)

“Okay, then.” ‘Sun’ reached the side of his head. Eclipse assumed ‘Sun’ is calling his brother. He observed the one-sided conversation. (The bells got clogged) Eclipse was about to walk away with his brother when ‘Sun’ called him back. 

“I’ll be going now.” ‘Sun’ whispered, “I’ll see you soon!”

‘See you soon?’ Eclipse snapped his neck to ‘Sun,’ but he was gone.