#to the people who keep coming for me and other RPF blogs on here

[ingravinoveritas]

Just popping by to say how much I appreciate you. Thank you for always keeping a level head. Even when you're disagreeing or calling out bullshit, you still manage to stay diplomatic and respectful. And of course, you always focus on the important things, the main one being that Michael is David's #1 fan (and vice versa)

Aw, thank you so much for this! I can't tell you how nice it was to get this message in my inbox (and apologies for not replying sooner, as I've been entirely swamped and am now trying to catch up on my Asks).

Given that this was from two weeks ago, I'm going to guess that this is mainly in response to the whole situation with David's BAFTA nom and some of the reactions that have occurred as a result. I think a lot of people have said a lot of clumsy things (looking at you, Neil) and while some may not have meant to take away from David's big moment, that still seems to be what's happened. I absolutely believe David is more than deserving of the nomination and it is long overdue at this point. He should've been nominated for Des, or even before that, his role as Alec Hardy in Broadchurch, but I am so glad he's finally gotten a nomination now.

I think the reaction a lot of people had was borne out of how tied together David and Michael's performances are as Aziraphale and Crowley, and the thought that if David were to be nominated for that specific role, then one hopes that Michael will also be nominated for his role as Aziraphale at some other point in the future.

But to your comment about my keeping a level head, I find it interesting that, in the midst of all the theories flying around about why Michael wasn't nominated and questions I got to that effect, this post showed up in the tags the same day you sent me this Ask (blog name is cropped out):

This was very obviously in reference to this Ask that I received and had answered just prior to then. This person didn't even have the nerve to mention my blog by name, but had no problem calling me an "rpf fucker" (really nice...). The question pertained to whether Michael's lack of a BAFTA nom could have been because of Anna's off-putting social media posts prior to the announcement, and I indicated in my response that I did not believe this was the case. I am not about to place blame on Anna for something that she had no part of--which I suppose this person was hoping I would do, to give credence to their ludicrous claims of sexism--and I made my position on the matter clear.

So to your comment about me disagreeing, this was exactly what happened...and yet this person had to twist what I wrote so far around (to the point of lying by omission) just to make their point. And yes, I took that Ask seriously, as I take every Ask/Anon that I get seriously, even the ones that attack me (which is also why it takes me for-freaking-ever to answer the questions in my inbox). According to the above blogger, however, instead I should've responded to the person who sent the Ask by mocking them and telling them how ridiculous and stupid they are. Because just politely disagreeing while still allowing someone the space to share their thoughts is so horrible, but telling someone to fuck off is apparently the height of discourse. Ugh.

In any case, I am very much grateful for this message, and for you and everyone else who follows my blog and has been so lovely. It's your encouragement and kindness that gives me the drive to keep posting, so thank you! ❤️❤️

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

Addressing The Tinhatters: A Statement in Solidarity With @dtmsrpfcringe And Others

I've been active in this fandom for a little over a year, and in my time here I've kept my slate pretty clean. I try not to involve myself in drama and discourse, and when I see something I don't agree with online, most of the time I keep it to myself. I've been aware of the blogs I refer to in this post basically from the onset, but I've stayed quiet, partially to not come across as disrespecting others' opinions and preferences and partially to protect my peace and my own life as a creator. But what started as mostly harmless, if a bit unhinged and delusional, behavior, has turned on some fronts into unimaginable cruelty the likes of which I never imagined this fandom to be capable of. As someone who it seems people in this fandom have come to respect, I think it would be unfair and selfish for me to stay neutral any longer.

Fanfiction has been a genuinely transformative force in my life. It has helped me discover so much about my own relationships to love and desire, and I would never want to tell anyone that it is wrong for any ship to be that source of inspiration for them, including RPF. Nor do I think, as I've said, that it's inherently wrong to have speculative thoughts about David and Michael's sexualities. As someone who has been lucky enough to interact with David several times now, and probably will again, I choose not to do so myself in a public forum out of respect, but curiosity doesn't have to be invasive, and David and Michael being in loving partnerships with women certainly doesn't mean they can't be attracted to other genders too. There's nothing wrong with liking the idea of a relationship between David Tennant and Michael Sheen, or even, really, with believing they might have feelings for each other. If that's all you're doing, this post isn't about you. What I absolutely cannot excuse is the proliferation of hypocritical, nonsensical, and nasty rumors about the women in their lives.

Nothing Georgia Tennant or Anna Lundberg seems to do is ever good enough. Every expression of positivity is curated and phony, anything that could be perceived as negative vile and mean. I see these women attacked on a daily basis as partners, as mothers, as actresses. Georgia is simultaneously presenting a false ideal of a perfect, happy family for her own gains, while somehow at the same time being too irresponsible and incompetent to be a proper parent. Anna, a still young and up and coming actress herself, is expected to perform the ideal of an affectionate partner on social media, is perceived as unsupportive of Michael when she doesn't, when in reality she may simply be trying to make a name for herself in the industry without people solely associating her with the man she loves. Both of these women share in David and Michael's advocacy for marginalized communities, sometimes in different, more or less obvious ways. David and Michael are always brave and sincere, while Anna and Georgia's actions are always self serving and performative, though no evidence is ever given to indicate that the things they post or charities they support are any sort of cover or deflection. Nor are there ever any reasons given for their perceived lack of onscreen talent, other than that they're "boring" or don't have as many jobs as their husbands- never mind that both of them are in an extremely competitive industry and get perfectly respectable amounts of work, especially for mothers of young children. Worst of all, I've seen them accused of things as awful as child abuse and rape, all for the crime of simply being married to the wrong men. It's all so horribly gendered too, David and Michael often referred to as the "men" while Georgia and Anna are reduced to negative stereotypes of nagging, shallow gold diggers. As a fandom populated with so many queer people, many of whom, myself included, have found freedom from gender roles with Michael and David's characters' help, I thought we knew better.

I've been lucky enough to meet both David and Georgia now, and have witnessed firsthand the easy, joyful affection they have for each other when no one of consequence is watching, the way they giddily hold hands on the street and make each other laugh while tenderly looking into each other's eyes even and especially after sixteen years together. Georgia when I met her was incredibly kind, down to earth, and approachable, and my partner, who's met her several times more than I have, gushes about her constantly- how funny, authentic, and intelligent she is, and of course, how much she and David love each other, how they look out for each other and adore each other's flaws and quirks. David of course still gushes about Georgia every chance he gets in speeches and interviews, her strength and brilliance as well as her beauty, and Georgia, while maybe not always as effusive, shows her love for David in plenty of ways, the beautiful candid photos she takes of him, for instance. There's such a soft, painterly tenderness and fondness in them, for the man, not just the dazzling star everyone else gets to see. Her David, gentle, devoted, goofy, aging, melancholy, imperfectly perfect David. Where would we be without Georgia giving us these little glimpses of him? I suspect the same people who deride Georgia's social media presence as try-hard, cringeworthy, artificial, would feel a bit differently if one day they stopped coming.

I can't speak as clearly on behalf of Anna and Michael, but the accounts I've gotten of her and Michael's relationship from eyewitnesses have presented it as no less loving than David and Georgia's, albeit in slightly different ways. Even then, why should I have to? She doesn't owe me anything. I doubt anyone who's made the posts accusing Anna and Georgia of being nasty baby trappers has ever had children. There's no such thing as a perfect mother, and even one child is a massive task. It's normal to not be a shining ray of affection all the time, and Georgia I know more than makes up for it with her fierce love and support for her children in all of their endeavors. Georgia is also a diagnosed neurodivergent woman, and so many of the remarks I see directed at her are clearly discriminatory and often directed at women with her diagnoses. Everyone coos over how charming David is when he shows signs of being AuDHD, but the second his wife does too, she's careless and cold. And don't even get me started on when photos of Michael and David looking anything less than beatifically happy get interpreted as them being miserable due to their wives treating them so poorly. THEY'RE HUMAN BEINGS!!! NEUTRAL FACIAL EXPRESSIONS EXIST!!! WOULD YOU BE A SPARKLING RAY OF SUNSHINE IF YOUR DISNEYLAND RIDE GOT STUCK!!!

I say all this now not even because I think I have any hope of stopping the people in question, but because one of the main fighters on the front of the opposition, @dtmsrpfcringe, has been both a wonderful online friend to me and dealt with even worse abuse than that which gets hurled at Anna and Georgia on the daily. When my blog was briefly overrun by TERFs in light of the Tennant/Badenoch/Sunak drama, Tori was the first person to stand up for me, and as she recieves more vitriol in one day than I've ever experienced in my entire life online, I think I've taken far too long to do the same for her. This woman has dealt with doxing threats, attacks on her character, and most horrific of all, wishes of death upon her and her baby. No one would blame her for stopping, but she has remained steadfast in her mission to call bs where she sees it, and she shouldn't have to do it alone. Tori, I think you are so brave, and I am proud to stand in solidarity with you against the misinformation, meanness, and misogyny that threaten to corrupt this fandom we call home.

Even after all we've been through over the past couple of months, I still believe the Good Omens fandom and David and Michael's individual fandoms to be places of kindness, empathy, and inclusivity. Which is why such cruel behavior (because there's no other word for it) is utterly disappointing and baffling to me. You should be utterly ashamed of yourselves. You're the exact kinds of people David and Michael speak out against on a weekly basis, and I guarantee that if you engage in the kinds of behavior I've highlighted here, they would be disgusted with you. Or maybe they'd simply pity you, because your lives are so empty that you've decided the only way to fill them is to sacrifice the reputations and peace of innocent women on the altar of a relationship that in all likelihood takes place solely in your own heads.

And if you read all this and find you still ship David and Michael, which even I do sometimes, well, there's always polyamory.

I'm sleepy! good night and kindly fuck off! - Lauren

[boywithpinkcarnation]

tbh kinda wanting some jealous!jb like if someone is filtering w her gf OR ESPECIALLY IF IT WAS A ANOTHER GIRL AHH THE DRAMA 🕳️🕳️

alrighty... i am in no way a writer, so this is. going to be bullet point, blurb, word vomit, unedited chaos. additionally, this is gonna be so incredibly self indulgent and catered to me so i hope it suffices for u bug 💝

frankly posting this is very scary for a little tumblr baby like myself, but i feel a need to serve my community 🫡

they style of writing and tbh most headcannons/lore is coming straight from @gingerjolover their blog is lowkey bible and they are the sweetest pookie pie ever. luv u g fr <3 like seriously i recommend you go just read through their masterlist bc this will not compare (not trying to fish here, just being very real as someone who is a like fein for fics as a source of comfort, i fear this will not fully suffice)

rpf content under the cut (no hate if that's not ur jam, just ignore me!), minors dni!!!

refering to jb's parter in this as "gf" and sense i am a selfish selfish girl in this scenerio she is roughly jb's height/a little shorter bc i am and theres no shorter than julien rep ANYWHERE

personally, i see julien as lowkey so possessive in a cutie non toxic way... and sometimes that manifests in some cutie jeleousy that gf can not get enough of. i think it obviously would come out in like flirty enviornments like bars and parties where people are loosey goosey... but sometimes it's just like and about on a normal date. here's a little thought i cooked up for like a more domestic environment jealousy:

aquairum date

the date starts out very normal, classic boyfriend!julien activities are happening

she's making sure y'all are touching at all times. like she'll die if you guys are not physically connected

i'm talking arm around your shoulder, iron grip within intertwined hands, hand in ur jean pocket 16 candles style, hand on the small of your back,,,, but i think eventually (and her favorite, albeit a little awkward) she's hugging you from behind as you walk, almost hanging on you, head perfectly slotted on your shoulder kissing your head and neck at every stop to look at the pretty fish

"jay! look at this one" "real pretty princess" *kisses your head* (its over i can'tttt)

then maybe she leaves you to go get you like a bottle of water or a jacket from the car (idk something to make you more comfortable, very "can't have my baby thirsty/cold" vibes)

then of course, you are looking so cute and so gay, a girl approaches you

you are very focused on the fish bc they are truly just so pretty (can you tell i love fish?) and only look up when mystery girl nudges you

"omg i'm so sorry" "oh uh, you're good" "sorry, i have a bit of a habit for running into pretty girls"

and your're kinda caught off guard bc like... this is an aquarium??

"haha um thank you" "so what are you doing here all alone"

mystery girl is sooo fuck boy coded just go with it

"well um my girlfr-"

julien is back behind you, re koala latching twisting open the water bottle for you and handing it to you, GLARING at this girl

"sorry it took me a second princess, who's this?"

then her grip tightens pulling you even closer to her chest

mystery girl, bless her heart, replies "we just bumped into each other. i was just letting her know how beautiful she was"

oh jb did not like that

she reaches over grabs your jaw tilting your head to the side and back to look at her

"she is beautiful. my sweet girl" and kisses you DEEPLY

and ur blushing because you know jealous/protective/possesive!julien is in the room with us now and kind of giggle out of the kiss

"well then... i should be going, sorry again for running into you"

instead of letting you respond or responding herself jb keeps your face turned and starts kissing all over ur face as you giggle letting mystery girl to just shuffle away.

for the rest of the date she is SO overly affectionate

squeezing ur hips

keeping you so close

kissing your cheek and neck as you tell her about all the fish and animals

"really baby? that's so cool" "my little biologist" "ooo princess what about these?"

it's times like these julien wishes she wore lipstick to leave a mark on your face so everyone knows

she's probably taking you to the gift shop and buying you some random thing for fun because when she's jealous she doesn't take it out on you, she's secure with you and knows you aren't doing anything but being your pretty self

in fact it just makes her softer and more affectionate

when you finally let her drag you out she had you against the car kissing you lovingly and deeply and sets her forehead against yours

"i just love you so much. my sweet girl. my priincess"

"all yours j."

note from c: i hope this is at least semi ok? literally no editing or even proof reading, just love sick delusion.

[logan-lieutenant]

let me be clear: this blog is NOT a safe space for lando haters. i’m sorry if that rubs you the wrong way, you’re free to block/unfollow.

“he bottles his starts” “he’s not as good as max” “he’s only good cause he’s got a rocketship of a car” “piastri has more potential” “he throws away opportunities” “he should’ve won and he fucked himself over” YOU DON’T THINK HE KNOWS THAT? even with all the PR training he has no poker face in interviews. he has moments, more and more frequently, where he radiates self-hatred. he isn’t out here protesting all the criticism, he’s taking it personally– way too personally– and people keep heaping it on harder and harder as if that makes a difference??

jesus christ people are coming after him like he’s making mistakes on purpose to spite them. i get it if you don’t like the fans– i don’t like them either. i’m talking about the hordes of mainly girls, often underage, who treat him like the next harry styles and drop really creepy/inappropriate comments in his posts and overall contribute to the “overhype” image. but then your beef is with the fans.

scraping the bottom of the barrel for every single excuse to put him down, to deny his performances, to nullify any single good result he comes up with is not going to change the numbers. he’s second in the championship. he’s won two races. he’s one of three drivers out of twenty he’s won more than one race, and lewis’s second win was after the disqualification and max is max. “he got a free pit stop in miami” “he just has a better car than max” okay, take it up with the FIA if you’re so upset.

i don’t really share my opinions on socials. i mostly just share other people’s memes and drop charlos-themed comments on instagram, and i’m new to tumblr but i try to stay in my own stupid little rpf lane. but now i just need to vent. if that makes you mad then like don’t read this far i guess??

my voice doesn’t matter. like, at all. i don’t have the full picture and i never will, and i physically can’t have any more of an objective opinion than anybody else who’s experiencing this all from the other side of a television screen. but i don’t like bullies. i personally don’t like it when people take it upon themselves to find the chinks in someone’s armor and sharpen their teeth. confidence, self-assurance, faith, the ability to silence everyone else’s voice is just as vital to an athlete as their strength and endurance. max verstappen has shown the power in mental/emotional invulnerability. lando doesn’t have that, and if anything it’s getting worse.

f1 isn’t structured to be fair. it is what it is. if you don’t like who’s winning, watch a different sport.

[olderthannetfic]

I hate to revive DNI discourse when it just ended on this blog but I often don’t think it’s as deep as people make it out to be and there’s a lot of, for lack of a better word, ~valid~ reasons someone may have a DNI. Like there’s absolutely contexts of “Kink Blogs DNI” disclaimers having an anti, swerf, etc undertone but sometimes I get it — for example I follow a couple of disability activists who post A LOT about incontinence, needing a caregiver, ETC who have stuff like “ABDL/DDLG/Devotee Blogs DNI.” Oftentimes that is not an indicator on their moral stance of those kinks, but rather them just being like “hey this is an activism-based journal where I post about incredibly personal things in regards to my own life, and while anyone has the right to read or reblog from me, if you’re clearly getting off to my medical needs or even if I get the vague impression you are, you WILL be blocked.”

Obviously that is an incredibly extreme and personal example, but I don’t think having a DNI boundary in your bio is ALWAYS a morality/discourse stance. On a much lighter note, I’m pretty active on Kpop Twitter, and there’s a lot of “RPF DNI” accounts there, and I think that’s more of a “I just want to post about my favorite band without shippers quote retweeting/replying to make it about their ship, and if you do so, I’ll block you. They’ve made public statements against these ships or about their real relationships and I am uncomfortable with people trying to dispute that.”

Oh yes there’s absolutely antis who hate RPF communities and all they stand for. But there’s also people who just straight up don’t want that on their account.

And like. As someone casually involved with RPF (i gossip about potential relationships with close friends and will reblog joke posts about it and will read it, but I’m not a writer for it and I’m definitely not someone who actually tries to speculate just how heavy the “fiction” part of an RPF ship might be), whether or not I choose to follow a person with such DNI depends on context. I keep my RPF ships/opinions off my main account, and even if I DO see a post that I would otherwise interpret as possibly shippy, I just won’t bring it up on said person’s posts, you know?

Damn this made me remember I have a DNI myself on one my accounts, 🤣 I have a minors DNI on one of my sideblogs. But I know I can’t prevent minors from seeing my posts or lying about their age or reblogging to a private sideblog or doing anything else that would go unnoticed. But once I do notice you interacting, if you’re clearly underage I’ll block you, just cuz I don’t feel comfortable with minors following my smutty fanart account even if I know minors look at smutty fanart, as someone who did look at smutty fanart as a minor. . .🎶Maybe I’m the problem it’s me. 🎶

--

No.

It's a stupid phrasing and no amount of validity in the criteria will make it less stupid.

No one here thinks they're always deep and meaningful. What we all say every time this comes up is that it's bad to conflate "I will block you if..." and "It is your job to research my boundaries ahead of time".

I'm not interested in people crying about how they like using an inaccurate term and everyone is supposed to understand what they mean. In practice, many people do mean that it's other people's job to enforce their boundaries for them. Validating this garbage terminology just encourages them.

It's a stupid, shitty term and we should move away from it.

[laura1633]

you're crazy, charles just had one of the worst race bcs ferrari fuck him up again, and what u think of it was how this circumstances was fit into the prompt some people ask u. please could u be more conciderate to treat him like a human he is and not ur fanfiction tools?

I was going to ignore this ask completely because quite frankly it’s ridiculous, especially given the nature of this blog, but I think there is an important point to be made. 

Firstly, this is my blog and I am entitled to post whatever I want.

Secondly, and this might be difficult for you anon, you need to pause and take a second to realise that people react to things in different ways. You might not like RPF or you might only like it within certain circumstances but you certainly don’t speak for everyone. What makes you you think that it is okay for you to dictate how other people deal with their emotions?! I can’t even begin to tell you how narrow minded and inconsiderate that is of you. 

I spent the few hours after the race discussing Charles’ situation and speculating on what options he has but then I decided to take a step back. I assume you want me to keep doom posting but I can assure you that that will not improve Charles’ situation. I suppose I could have tried marching to Maranello to try and take control of Ferrari by force but alas I didn’t think of that at the time.

I understand that you might feel frustrated, angry or sad after the race but if seeing fan fiction takes about it makes you this upset then I would suggest, with all sincerity, taking a step away from the internet after a race. It’s up to you though, I am not here to tell you what to do. I just think it is important we realise that this is a sport and we should try not to take on all the stress and negativity of it in our own lives as difficult as that can be sometimes. 

This blog is 90% fan fiction and contained to a site where it should not reach Max, Charles or anyone who knows them. When they are racing I support them as drivers but when I am writing about them then I suppose they are fan fiction tools. That doesn’t make them any less human. I find that writing fan fiction about events helps me set the emotions around a race aside rather than carry that negativity around with me. 

In short, I think you need to stop being rude to people online (anonymously no less), stop trying to regulate other people’s reactions to things and stop taking away other people’s fun and/or emotional outlets. Charles won’t thank us for it, he doesn’t even know we exist! 

If you think this is some gotcha moment I can assure you that it is not. If Charles has another bad race (and I say if because please let Ferrari regroup and come back stronger) but if he has another bad race you best believe that I am fictionally going to make Max fuck him either harder next time thanks to this ask, so hard that Charles won’t remember what team he drives for. I therefore respectfully suggest you block this account to save yourself future stress.

Peace and love and all that though, thanks for stopping by 😂😘 

[al-the-remix]

Years pass but people still remain gross about WAGs. And now they dress it up with “intellectual” terms like industrial complex and post-colonial supremacist whatchamacallit. Give me the messy puck bunny blogs at least they’re open about hating WAGs.

Yeah, I can't say I have many complex things to say on the topic, except that that dialogue has been in this fandom forever (all fandoms forever; tumblr, the birthplace of the 'not-like-other-girls-girl') but it's especially bad in rpf and I'm exhausted of reading the same tired iterations on "well, I could NEVER understand how another woman could live like that--" STOP. Just stop it, it's not your life, and it's likely never going to be your life, for all the aforementioned unfair reasons. You don't have to compare yourselves to them constantly. It doesn't make you lesser or them better for being (presumably) born into a more privileged circumstance and it doesn't make them lesser and you better for achieving some enlightened pearl of knowledge.

The puck bunny blogs irk me just as much, and if you find one better than the other I guess it's more a question of what rolls your stomach more: spite or smugness. But in my opinion, calling Kathy an ageing escort that Sid pitty dates is just as nauseating as talking down your nose about her like she's some ignorant waif that cant make her own decisions about her life or her relationship.

Yes, the NHL is an intrinsically racist, misogynistic, homophobic, capitalist, fatphobic--and all the other bad terrible things--nightmare creature whose ailment runs all the way up to the giant sucking malignancy attached to its heart that is Garry Bettman and Bill Dayley, and further, to the executives that they shill for, and even further back to the time period, tenets, and culture that the sport was founded on. Remember, this is the same organization whose administrative and players (retired and current) repeatedly spit in the face of their teammates who've suffered chronic and debilitating injuries, and continue to mock journalists and veterans who try to bring those issues to the forefront, stating that the injury is worth it to win -- (or that the possibility of injury is worth it, considering these comments so often come from players that are still relatively hale).

Hmmm, sounds incredibly familiar to the position the NHL takes on another rampant issue in the sport: sexual assault.

There's a reason why the NHL is falling behind in popularity (and in value) compared to other sports organisations and it's because they cling to their archaic values and methods and flat-out refuse to let them go -- and thus attract players and administrative and fans who find all that entails appealing. It's not everyone in the sport obviously but it's a large enough faction to keep things stagnant -- just go take a look at Ian Kenedy's twitter page and start scrolling through the replies to his tweets if you want a taste of what we're up against here.

If you want to do anything, ANYTHING AT ALL to help improve the hockey culture, there are multiple avenues to explore that might actually make a difference --first of all getting involved in your community not just the internet community-- in chipping away at who this game attracts, how they see themselves, how they see others, how they see hockey players, and how those hockey players see themselves and others. Those avenues do not include dunking on wags. I get it, they all look the same, haha. it's weird, their children and husbands can't tell them apart, hahaha. There, I said it too and now I never have to hear that fucking joke again. Move ON.

I understand that the lines between reality and fiction can blur easily when it comes to rpf, but making actually, completely serious judgements on other people's private emotional lives and relationships is completely out of the realm of reality. You can't know, you can never know completely. It can be difficult enough to identify these things when it comes to a friend or a family member how are you possibly going to make a pronouncement that someone's relationship is stale or without intimacy or connection when literally have no idea who they really are? I've been stalked and I've had people write fanfiction about me and I can 100% say that what they gleamed of who I was and what my life was like from the outside did not run true.

Analyzing those aspects and their intersexuality is worthwhile -- if anyone has an actual interest in these topics I suggest reading: Wille O'ree's biography, Bern Saunder's biography, Fred Sasakamoose's Call Me Indian, Black Ice: The Lost History of the Colored Hockey League of the Maritimes by Darril and George Frosy, On Account of Darkness by Ian Kennedy, Why I didn't say anything by Sheldon Kennedy, Crossing The Line by Laura Robinson, Major Misconduct by Jeremy Allingham, Finding Murph by Rick Westhead -- There are more than that if you're willing to dig for them ... but especially after the back to back Kyle Beach and Hockey Cannada lawsuits I've just had it to up to here with the takes about the ~uwu poor hockey men~~ and their repressed homosexual longings and lack of overall male intimacy and companionship --- who do you think is doing said repressing?? THE HORRIBLE UWU MEN. (Said in exaggeration and jest but also not fucking really.) They are victims unto themselves. 99% refuse to speak up or do anything about the inequality, harassment, and overall intrinsic issues in the sport, the ones who bravely do are shunned by the others who refuse to help themselves or others. They don't see themselves as emotionally underdeveloped manchildren stranded on the frigid island of masculine solitude and arrested development. They like their lives, they don't care about what kind of impact that lifestyle has on other people (or on the environment or on the economy). They like their cookie-cutter world, conservative sandbox and comfortable wealthy liberalism... and most of all they like their hot blond skinny wives and they don't care what sort of social constructs have led to them pursuing a very specific type of woman. The vast majority of them have zero interest in having their eyes opened to a more complex and diverse worldview and it's not the fault of anyone but themselves, least of all the women who get pulled along in their wake.

[russilton]

Im new here and i must say that ur blog is a treasure to me (no dramatic). I enjoy ur postings a lot and I admire you sooo much!

It's a fascinating ship BUT sadly not a lot of people have realized this point i may say. and Im wondering when did you start to ship them? (cuz u know, the No1 gewis fan i may say? lol). Like when george came to merc? or even before? or it's like some special moments and everything suddenly clicks?

(feel free to ignore this if you don't wanna answer(but im lookin forward to it 😜)

Well anon you got me blushing at 10am, thank you very much

Wildly, I can give you the exact moment I started shipping it, because I documented it on discord.

See I’d sent @thatsmemate a gif of Bono earlier that day while explaining f1 to her, and she’d said Lewis and Bono looked like they were carnally in love, which to be fair in that gif they absolutely did. Then she went to bed, and I, a man with the flu and access to an ao3 account, did what any normal person does, and went “huh I wonder if there’s fic about Lewis on ao3”

And there sure was (fic is censored because I didn’t end up personally enjoying it but that’s not the authors fault, I just didn’t vibe with top George)

As we can all guess, it did indeed open Pandora’s box, because nobody reads just one fic when they’re sick.

I do truly wonder had my first f1 rpf fic been sewis or galex if I’d be here now- I really don’t know! I can explain to you all the reasons gewis is so vibrant and important and meaningful to me, but I also know I imprint like a duck, and it may have been the fact that it was the first fic I read and I went “well, this is awesome, I would like more” and then when I tried other ships it just… didn’t do anything for me? I mean I was well aware of and still follow the sewis sub reddit but never felt inclined to the fic ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (I also blame @hamiltvn and @danielssmile for having posted fics that knocked me on my ass when I started reading gewis , like can’t argue with quality)

Whatever it was, it clicked with me, and while I tried to go “this is weird they’re real people we can’t read this” I just… kept going back all while watching the races. I’d already gotten SO fond of George at Merc as it was, I was a fan of his before he signed with them, and while I was sad when he was signed over Val, I was also excited as all hell. Val seemed like Merc was taking a huge toll on him, and George was so silly but incredibly committed.

I can also give you the moment it clicked. I was on IG, recommended to me between races, Merc had posted a clip of Lewis interrupting George’s Australia interview to hug him, and George’s face just… wobbles. When he comes back to the interview his lip quivers and he has to take a breath, he looks happy but so very ready to cry… that was it for me, I just sat there and though oh, you adore him, of course you do.

I have shown this clip to so many gewis people who do not feel the same way about it I do, which is fascinating but I spose we can’t decide what our spark is can we? This was just it for me, and it’s only gotten worse seeing George flourish as his own person, he’s not just… chasing Lewis now, but valued as his own person, WHILE still putting Lewis at the centre of his focus and admiration. He’s no longer standing within a shadow- he’s growing out of it while remaining firmly rooted in that emotion of respect.

AND Lewis gives it back hand over fist the more he describes George as the push that helps keep him driving, the more he sees George as an almost equal

I only get more in love with them, even if they frustrate me and their team frustrate me and their fans… sure are loud. They bring me joy.

[formulaocean]

hi! sorry if it's a bit of a random question but i wanted to ask, what are your thoughts on The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller, if you've read it?

Ah okay I have contrasting thoughts because it really is beautiful and has some quotes that I still think about years later, but I read it when I was also reading the Iliad and studying bits of it in Greek and some doesn’t gel for me!

So I like it but it also annoys me if that makes sense?

If you take it as a young adult love story, and one of the first of both the lgbt and retelling genres at that, it’s very very good but you’ve just got to accept it’s not similar from a classics pov. In all fairness it’s not a retelling of the Iliad but a love story with a younger target audience so maybe that’s on me 😅

The whatever our souls are made of quote kills me. The what has hector ever done to me foreshadowing finishes me off. Name one hero who was happy? Dead again. Them meeting in the afterlife after their ashes combine? Revives me just to kill me once more.

Her writing is so lyrical and although I think I prefer Circe in general, she really did write a beautiful book. It’s elegiac and mythological, heartbreaking and putting you right in a historical mindset with all her descriptions that are so vivid. Everyone knew the ending but she brought us along on such a way that we wished we didn’t. I’m quite hyped for her Persephone when it comes out!

This specific retelling so needed to be done because all the signs were there in the Iliad. In Ancient Greek art and texts it almost universally depicted them as lovers and it’s not seeing things- they are written as quite queer in the Iliad with Achilles having this beautiful description as a widow while mourning. The first time I watched Troy (not even going into the ending) I was horrified by them being cousins 😭

By making Patroclus “simpler” and in a role similar to Greek women as a homemaker and healer at the time, you get to gloss over the broader implications of the war and see Achilles with such a lovely fondness. Where so many other descriptions of him are so harsh and brutal that tender love really is the heart of the book and a refreshing take on him- I feel people forget he moodily strums on a lyre as well as fights. I do wish we had more of a richer world building though because there’s so much going on!

At the same time- that’s not Patroclus. Even as a kid he gave Achilles “wiser council” and he was just as tough too, second in fighting to Achilles amongst the Myrmidins and just as hungry for war. He’s described as being powerfully built, modest, wise, and before he’s struck down by Apollo, causing Hector to kill him, his aristeia had him single handedly slaying upwards of 50 people. It’s why Achilles trusts him with his armour.

I kind of wish we had Patroclus at least learn to fight in the book, or had him be tougher. Of course there are different types of strength but I don’t see why we couldn’t have Achilles appear softer through Patroclus’s eyes while keeping him in character, two scary people can still be gentle with each other! And as this is mainly a sports-semi-rpf tiny blog I will say we were robbed of jock for jock energy- give me flashbacks to them fighting together!

There’s also a complete glossing over of the female characters being slaves and here having a “brotherly” relationship where it is…not that. And I do think it’s a little bit of a tired trope that one man in a queer relationship has to take the more effeminate role but it was 2012 and aimed at young adults so I can’t blame it too much for either!

Thetis is brilliantly done though. Completely compelling as a terrifying ancient goddess who knows her son is doomed to die. Really reminds me of her in Catullus 64 which is about her wedding to Peleus and very foreshadowing heavy. And Odysseus too- love to hate that sneaky bastard.

Sorry for rambling anon 😭 I really hope you liked the book ❤️

[killerlookz]

I NEED TO GET SOMETHING OFF MY CHEST

I am a young adult. Born in a time where it was seen as cringey/insane to be obsessed with a singer. I remember going to school and my friends making fun of one direction fans/ Justin Beiber fans. I must admit I was in on that train at one age, but then it hit me.

What the fuck is wrong with people enjoying a person's music and showing their love?

Nobody is being harmed. Nobody is being discriminated. Nobody is being in anyway impacting the lives of others. Why do we as a society put down these people? (This excludes fans that were harassing/stalking)

And for years I respected those types of fans from a distance, never quite understanding their love but seeing how it brought them so much joy.

Then I discovered Joost.

My world has changed completely. I began listening on the day before TRAFIK came out and I was hooked.

I love everything about him. From his music, persona, fashion, friends, and even this fan base.

I am embarrassed sometimes of what a big fan I am, and that's not right. I wish nothing but the best for Joost and in my time of being a fan I have ensured I have done nothing that could make him uncomfortable.

...

Except maybe read RPF but I truly in my heart of hearts don't think he will mind, because the shit he wrote about himself was no better. And if he ever came forward saying it made him in anyway uncomfortable I'd never read it again.

Seeing how you and many other have explained RPF has really helped me get over my worries. Though I won't be putting it on display any time soon, I am a huge Joost fan.

Anyway, thank you so much for opening my eyes to the wonderfulness of Joost and reblogging so many different types of media.

You have helped me discover so many different blogs that have quickly made their way into my heart.

Sorry if this is all a lot. I just really needed to talk it through and I admire you a lot :)

hiiiii !!! thank you so much for your message :-)))))

i don’t know what it is in particular about the joost fandom that is so anti rpf hahaha but it’s kind of commonplace in most other fandoms so i’m not sure where the insane amount of outrage comes from when joost hasn’t said anything about it himself …

like i know there are obviously people who are anti-rpf in every fandom but its not usually such a big talking point??? like people keep it to themselves.

even I MYSELF used to not enjoy rpf for a time… (until i turned to the light) but even then i literally did not gaf if people wrote rpf??? like i literally did not give a single fuck? and i didn’t expect the people who it was about to share my stance either so i don’t really understand this fandom in particular

but whatever! don’t be ashamed of regular shmegular fandom activities! this shit is so normal and i think here it joost was ever to communicate anti-rpf boundaries we would all completely understand that :-) were just having fun here, and no harm is intended, just creating little stories with an artist we admire!

people feed into the stereotype too much that people who participate in fandom or fanfic are just all creepy stalkers who think about whatever celebrity 24/7 and try to invade all types of privacy. i just don’t think that’s true- but the stereotype has people literally gripped by the throat that so many people are turned off from fanfic / fandom without even trying to get to see what it’s actually like!

but i’m so glad you’ve found your space here!! i love the joost tumblr fandom so much <3 they’re so great!!! such a fun little community for real :-))

[abovetherainandroses]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Storm here! 🌩 Tysm for the tag @27-royal-teas! <3 I haven't done a tumblr meme thing in forever! And I don't really have any friends on this blog so I don't have anyone to tag, but if you're a writer who follows me, consider yourself tagged! (And also come be my friend)

This got long! I talk too much! Answers are below the cut!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

So I have two accounts lol, because for some reason I decided to make a separate RPF account even though I have other embarrassing things on main account anyway?? Anyway, I currently have 100 fics on my main and 5 on my RPF account.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Across both accounts, 379,693 words for an average of 3.6k per fic. Longfic? I don't know her.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I usually write for one fandom at a time, but I will revisit/cycle through fandoms. Currently it's Fall Out Boy. Previously, I was writing some MCU stuff (mostly Spider-Man). Also wrote a handful of Good Omens stuff back when S1 came out. I have the most fics posted for Haikyuu (volleyball manga/anime) lol.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Oops I only have 5 fics so far on my RPF account and I'm still debating whether I want this account directly linked to my main.

But I will take this opportunity to tell anyone who needs it not to put too much stock into kudos!! Kudos count relies on a lot of factors, but a big two are fandom/ship size and when you post the fic relative to the height of the fandom's activity. (Getting in early with a fic right after a new movie/season/etc. comes out so you're one of the first fics for the New Thing can be huge too.)

External validation is obviously very nice but if you rely too much on it, you're not gonna have a good time.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Comments make my entire life and I always want to respond to them, but I inevitably fall off because the brain energy isn't there, and I keep putting it off, and putting it off, and putting it off, and then it feels too late. But seeing as I only have 5 fics on my RPF account, I recently went and responded to everything, even if it was years late. In the past few weeks I've actually gotten responses to some comments I left on fics like 3 years ago so it inspired me, haha.

I myself am not always good at leaving comments (continuous goal to get better at it), so I really appreciate the people who take the time to leave kind comments for me and I want to express that appreciation.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't usually write angsty fic... I'm too softhearted. That said, I have made a few forays into angst, but Your Mileage May Vary on which one is the angstiest. Is it the major character death? Is it the one where they're soulmates with the last words they'll say to each other written on their skin, and in the end it's not death that separates them, but their own inability to have a functional relationship with each other?

Or is it the one I didn't even think was super angsty and tagged "bittersweet ending" but then it made a bunch of people cry? I'm still like "...my bad" about that one lmao.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Fluff is my lifeblood and almost all of my fics have a happy ending. I couldn't tell you which was the happiest, haha. Again, I'm incredibly softhearted, and also a big sap. I cannot deny this!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thinking very hard... I have been posting fic for............. several years so it is possible I am forgetting something but nothing comes to mind! I have always felt too relatively unknown for haters, which is just fine by me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

"What kind" lol. What does that even mean. Listen, my kink is holding hands during sex and being ❤️ in love ❤️ (I mentioned I'm a softhearted sap, right??)

Sometimes I might explore some light kink but nothing too hardcore imo.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Again, I've been writing/posting fic for several years, so I could be forgetting something, but I don't remember ever writing a true crossover. Though in my personal definition of fandom terms, crossover = characters from fandom A meet characters from fandom B. I have written a few fusion AUs in my time (characters from fandom A existing in the world of fandom B), which you could say falls under the crossover umbrella. For example, I've written Kingdom Hearts characters in a Pacific Rim AU and Haikyuu characters in Dragon Age AU.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Though I did once see (this was a SUPER long time ago) someone repost my fic on tumblr the same day I posted it on FFN, even though I also posted the full text of the fic on tumblr myself. They credited my FFN account, at least, but like. Hey. Don't do that.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I've had some fics translated into various languages! It's definitely an honor that people want to share some of my stuff in other languages and take the time to do that translation work. I try to ask people keep translations on AO3 but it hasn't always succeeded so there are some translations of my works floating around on foreign language fic sites... Ah well.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I successfully co-wrote one (1) fic with one of my friends years ago. I've tried a few other times to co-write fics (including with the same person) but none of them ever finished... Co-writing fic is hard! Idk how to do it effectively. I've done a handful of fic/art collabs with my wife though!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I don't know that I have a single all-time favorite ship, but Peterick is definitely the current fave. I........ adore them. So much.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Listen, I am a hoarder of WIPs and a clinger to delusions that they will one day be finished. But okay, one of my peterick WIPs from 2016-2017 that I really liked but highly doubt I'll ever finish is a no-band, dating show AU where Pete is the eligible bachelor on a queer offshoot of the Bachelor/Bachelorette and Patrick (through machinations by Joe) ends up as a contestant on the show. Patrick is camera shy and does not want to be there, but he made a deal with Joe to stay til he was eliminated. Pete, who just went through a public and messy divorce with Ashlee, does not want to be there, but he was guilt-tripped into using his moderate fame to help bring viewership to the underfunded little queer show.

Pete finds out Patrick never wanted to be there in the first place and offers to eliminate Patrick. I will copy/paste the next bit from my gdoc:

"[...] pete’s like what if…i didn’t eliminate you and we just stayed friends and hung out and stuff and patrick finds himself agreeing bc pete’s a really nice dude and they have a lot of interests in common

But then Patrick keeps sticking around through the weeks and Patrick and Pete fall in love and both end up having separate private crises because they agreed to be friends. Patrick sees Pete spending time with other candidates and clearly being attracted to them and it sucks because now Patrick is in love with Pete and Pete isn’t considering him at all. Meanwhile Pete is having a good time with the other candidates and sure there’s lust there and even some like but he can’t stop thinking about how perfect Patrick is for him except for oh wait Patrick doesn’t even want to BE here and Pete was the one who convinced him to stay and now he’s fucking in love with him."

Blah blah blah, stuff happens, Pete eliminates Patrick in the last few weeks then when he has to make the choice between the final two candidates, calls Patrick and confesses to him instead, blah blah blah, happy ending.

Anyway. I wrote 11k of that fic and I was about 1/3 of the way through. It will never be finished. But now I've told you all about it and that's good enough, right?

16. What are your writing strengths?

Internal narration and emotions. Tightly focused fics that span 1-3 scenes. Spelling and grammar.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Longfic or fic with several scenes that take place over an extended stretch of time. Related to that, coming up with external plot events rather than just internal conflict HAHA. Describing the setting/environment so the characters don't just exist in a nebulous empty space.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

As with most of my preferences re: fic, it depends on the execution. It can feel clunky and maybe even cringey, or it can feel natural and realistic. Just be intentional about how you're using it. Also, it always helps if you know a fluent speaker who can review it for you but understandably you may not always have someone like that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Warrior... cats...

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This is impossible to answer hahahaha. Certainly if we look at my main AO3. But if we're looking at my grand total of 5 (as of yet) RPF fics, I can say that I'm still quite fond of get us right (quitters never win), a fob AU fic where everything is the same but they all have minor superpowers, featuring empath!Patrick and telepath!Pete.

Aaaaand we are done! If you got this far, I am giving you cookies.

[momentsofamber]

Hey uuuuh did you know... Ur big swaggy and hella stronger than ur demons? 😉👍 You've overcome them in the past to make it to today, you'll overcome today's with the lessons from the past, and the future doesn't know what it has coming to it 📣👏😁

Anon, this was so nice to wake up to. 😭 Thank you so much!!

I'm so sorry it took me all day to respond to this and I'm about to ramble so feel free to skim this, I'm gonna dump it under a read more. ( Do people even still use these in 2024? askdjhf )

I never directly attacked anyone in my time while pretending to be an anti. I was just completely silent on the matter, letting my morality complex and p.edophobia ocd wage war on my well-being.

It's ironic, I've been on this site since about 2010; and in 2012 when I started to be at my first most active point on tumblr and had a friend group on here, I would blog about Wincest (SPN) on main and no one said anything or thought anything of it, they just kept scrolling. That was the norm. People just SHIPPED whatever they wanted.

Flash ahead to like 2018 and suddenly everywhere I go there are now neon eyesore banners on posts, including fucking stimboards and whatnot with 'p.roship d.ni' and 'a.nti-a,ntis d.ni' ( I'm censoring that just so this post isn't blacklisted from proshippers because that is NOT my stance ) and I was like 'I don't even know what these terms MEAN?? where did these come from??' but I was too afraid to ask anyone so I just. Stayed silent and promised myself I'd only reblog "safe" content and that I was "happy" I'd "become a better person since then". ( spoiler: I was lying to myself. )

And over the years any time I made new friends who had never seen that content on my blog back then, I'd just say I didn't support Problematic Content(tm) and I'd only talk about and rp and reblog ships that were "normal", because I was now so afraid people would reject me at any time because it seemed like the anti crowd was so large and violent and nasty -- my mental health at that time would not have been able to handle that hatred.

-- in fact I had this SAME experience in the plural community with the a.nti-e.ndos for identifying as a median system. ( we know now that we are a bpdgenic osdd-1b system, but we still prefer most median terminology to describe ourselves. ) But the traumagenic DID systems who were pro-endo were so much more welcome to interacting with us than the exclusionists. And it's the same bullshit different flavor happening here with the proshippers.

How much overlap is there between a.nti-e.ndo and a.nti-p.roship rhetoric, I wonder? It's wild. I wish I had learned how to undo my black and white thinking so much sooner and listen to new points of view instead of just shying away from the unknown in fear.

But this is a new year, and this is a new me. This blog is going to be a source of love and positivity and learning about other people's experiences. Any discourse or negativity ( even the validating kind ) will remain on my sideblog. I don't have to like or even agree with everything I see online, but I am going to support people's right to say it, do it, make content of it, as long as all parties involved are consenting. ( Fictional characters, animated or live action, do not have the autonomy to consent or not consent so people can do anything they want with fiction that makes them feel happy and fulfilled, full stop. Yes, this includes RPF and selfshipping. As long as you keep your content in your safe space and no actors/musicians/etc involved in the creation of that character you're using are able to see it - I will support your right to make or consume any content as you see fit. )

[dreaminghour]

Hayden/Ewan RPF - Feeling of doing nothing

Event: @domaystic Fandom: Star Wars RPF Rating: General Audiences Prompt: 30 Feeling of doing nothing Ship: Hayden/Ewan Disclaimer: References to real people are used fictitiously. Do not share this with them! Context: Present day. Ewan is visiting Hayden on his farm. Follows the timeline of my other RPF ficlets, but you don’t necessarily need to read those to understand this. You can find them here on my blog. Words: 892

It takes Ewan several hours to spit out what he's been chewing on. Enough time for Hayden to go out with the farm-hand and set up the new fence post where he should have put one years ago and to smear the cuts on Dolly's skin to keep them from getting infected.

He is quiet through lunch prep, which doesn't much phase Hayden; he's found both the storyteller and the stoic to be good company. It gives him time to turn over his own thoughts…

He hasn't asked why Ewan is here because he more or less knows: marriage trouble or its ilk. He doesn't go for gossip but things come across his screen nonetheless, no matter how much he ignores them.

"Listen, I… " Ewan begins before trailing off almost immediately.

So Hayden listens, to the silence mostly, but at the same time he watches — the slack set of Ewan's jaw, the furrow between his brows, his distant gaze, the beard overdue for a trim.

"I'm really grateful for your hospitality," he continues.

"Of course," Hayden says immediately. "You're always welcome."

"And you haven't asked," Ewan says slowly, "but I suppose you're probably wondering…"

"I mean," Hayden shifts, turning his gaze from the porch to the distant grove of trees. "I know."

Ewan doesn't reply, doesn't turn to look at him, just furrows his brow.

"You told me some of it in Berlin. I expect this is related?" He turns it into a question at the last second.

"My partner," Ewan says, as though gearing himself up for it, and then he stops again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Hayden asks.

"What's there to say?" Ewan asks in exasperation.

But then he speaks for hours.

At the end of it, they finished the chores, cleaned up after dinner, and are back on the porch, back with that malted fruit soda instead of beer. Hayden isn't a teetotaller, but he doesn't mind it.

"Our publicists did a damn sight better negotiating our separation than we did." Ewan picks at the label on his bottle. "I'm ashamed to say there was a fair bit of yelling, most of it was me."

He falls back in his chair with a sigh, seeming depleted.

"That's what they called irreconcilable differences. Two times now." He grimaces. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

"You're not," Hayden says gently. "Irreconcilable… it's the right word. Sometimes you're in a good relationship, with a good person, but there's just that thing you can't get over. Or several."

Hayden smirks, laughing to himself.

"Speaking from experience?" Ewan asks kindly.

When Hayden looks up, Ewan is looking at him affectionately, but it's a deeply sympathetic look as well. Hayden thinks he sees tears shining in Ewan's eyes.

"When it happens more than once…" Hayden trails off and Ewan lets him keep the silence a moment.

Out in the grass, the evening insects are louder than they've been all day.

"I don't think there's anyone who got me the way Rachel does. And… I flatter myself thinking that I'm good enough to deserve her. I'd do almost anything for her."

He catches himself before he gets lost gathering wool.

"Anyway. Even though I'm pretty sure she's my person, I'm not sure I'm hers. When we're good, we're so good, but it's not enough." He shrugs. "Sometimes that's not enough."

"Do you ever think you should try harder?"

"We do." Hayden snorts. "We did."

"Ah, I'm sorry," Ewan says quietly. "I didn't mean to dredge up your own feelings about separation."

Hayden snorts. "No worries. I spend a lot of time thinking about her, about us…" He hesitates a moment, knowing he's alluded to it but not yet explained… "I'm even writing a book about it."

"About you and Rachel?" Ewan asks, brow furrowing as he looks at Hayden.

"Well, a guy named Mac and his ex-fiancée, Evelyn."

"Do they have a daughter?" Ewan asks, smirking, but its a playful look.

"Yeah, her name is Marie, and she spends the summers with her dad when she's not at school."

"And are they both actors?" Ewan asks.

"No, actually, bit of a Notting Hill situation, Evelyn is a stage actress who came out to do regional theater when she was young, fell in love, but Mac couldn't hack it in the city."

"The city is boring," Ewan says, his expression darkening. "I don't blame him for leaving."

"He goes back occasionally," Hayden says, shrugging. "There's balance, I guess. Ah, well… I don't know if I'll ever send it out. Or if anyone would even publish it."

"I'd like to read it," Ewan says, almost adamant.

Hayden is surprised, but as the shock settles over him, he realizes he shouldn't be. He remembers how quiet Ewan had gotten when he'd found out about Hayden's short stories — also unpublished — in a way that didn't seem like disapproval. Ewan's always been politely curious, not just about Hayden, so this should feel normal to have that interest turned upon him.

It does not feel normal. He thinks of Ewan holding him when he'd been a scared boy away from home, and holding Ewan when he'd been a wreck in Berlin. He thinks of stroking Ewan's hair back from his face when he'd fallen asleep on the couch and it feels… not normal.

"Okay," Hayden says.

[ingravinoveritas]

<3 all ur d&m pics that show them as a couple. how many ppl who say that get as much stupid mail as u do? probably not many which sux. u say what everybody sees and then ppl get butthurt.

Aww thank you, Anon! I appreciate this so much. Yes, I have definitely had more than my share of stupid/hate mail (which you can see in my #the fact that i even gotta respond to this and #fandom woes tags) over the past few years. And it seems like every few months, a thread pops up on Twitter of people bashing RPF or anyone who talks about the possibility of Michael and David as a couple. I saw one such thread last night (not linking to it, cause it's not worth it), but I was struck by how...pointless...it seemed.

Because what I see--overwhelmingly--more than threads like that is comments like the Pinterest ones I've recently highlighted. Sometimes I see comments that are from as far back as four years ago, but I've seen a lot more newer comments, too. So the people who waste their time railing against RPF/shipping Michael and David seem willfully ignorant of the fact that a) A lot more people either don't care anymore because it's not a big deal/we have bigger issues to contend with; and b) Michael and David ship themselves with each other more than anyone else ever could.

It is interesting to me, what you said about this being something everyone sees. If that is the case, I do have to wonder why there is such an issue with me saying it out loud. Michael and David are over here calling each other their "other partner," "other wife," "lover," "emotional support pet" and so on and that's somehow fine, but then I get attacked for pointing out the possibility that maybe--maybe--they might not be joking. Or are telling the truth in the guise of a joke. And what really grates my cheese is that I've always said that I am more than open to the idea that Michael and David are just friends and nothing has happened between them...yet the anti-shipping crowd won't even consider the idea that something has, or that they could be more than friends.

I also think it's noteworthy that there truly are countless pictures of Michael and David looking like a couple. Not only from the GO press tour, and not only from 2019, but consistently over the past four years. Even when they're not in the same room, that 'vibe' is always present (such as on TLL, when Michael straight up bought David on national television and said he was going to keep him in his basement). And that's what I see people commenting on--casual fans who (for any number of reasons) more often than not pair Michael with David (and vice-versa) instead of their own partners.

So yes, it has been frustrating to see people getting butthurt (that Twitter thread from last night got under my skin somewhat because I was just starting to write a new MS/DT fic, and it felt like someone throwing a wet blanket on my ideas). But as I've said before, I would much rather people come for me than another person who would be far more affected/devastated by it. I will always talk honestly about the things I see and the observations I make, and I'm happy that my blog has become a place for people to safely share their thoughts, too.

Hopefully the discourse will improve some when GO 2 comes out (and if/when there is a press tour) and we get to see Michael and David together again. In the meantime, I'm so glad to have received your message, Anon. Thanks for writing in! x

[pissditching]

when will y'all in the fob and mcr fandom stop spreading rpf like its fact. it's so fucking creepy to guess and fantasize about famous people's lives that you know nothing about. there's someone else on here who keeps introducing their statements to say rpf is gross but then immediately after rants about how two band members probably fucked each other. what year is this? how old are you? i don't even need to ask. i'm just really sick of seeing people weirdly come out as supporting this stuff and i've had to unfollow. IOH can be about whatever you want but stop posting your opinions like they're fact just to have your little echo chamber jump through hoops to defend and agree with you.

Do you like. Have the wrong blog or something when did I say or imply any of this especially about ioh cause if I recall I kind of said the opposite of what you're yelling at me for saying.

[speeed-and-power]

new fic page + fandom statistics

continuing on my quest to make my blog generally more accessible and generally better all round, I’ve updated the page where you can find all the fics I’ve written. it has filters so you can sort by pairing, rating, and genre, and is infinitely more readable than my last one!

it’s also allowed me to do some ~fun fandom fic statistics~ which my autistic self loves! I’ve put them below the cut because they’re dull.

Pairings

I’ve written 22 fics about Clarkson, Hammond and May, but for the purposes of these statistics I’m excluding my dribble/drouble/drabble roundup fic because I can’t be bothered including those 12 or so little ficlets. So, of the 21 fics:

Je/R was the first pairing I wrote

it was obviously my favourite for a while, because 10 of the 21 fics are Je/R

7 are J/J

3 are OT3

1 is Ja/R

I find this interesting—I like reading all pairings equally, and in theory like the idea of writing all pairings, but clearly I find myself drawn overwhelmingly to Je/R and J/J. I adore OT3 but find it tricky to write, and I also enjoy Ja/R but it doesn’t come as easily to me as anything with Jeremy in, so that’s why I think I’ve neglected it up until now.

This compares interestingly to the fandom overall, where the most popular pairing differs by platform! I’m just focusing on the main four pairings here (sorry Andy, Stig, and others D:) in order to more easily compare to my own writing.

On dreamwidth (which includes aggregate posts from the old LJ comm):

Ja/R leads with 1,551

J/J comes second with 1,455

OT3 is third with 1,109

Je/R is last! with 1,003

On ao3 under the Top Gear (UK) RPF tag:

J/J is first with 746 fics

Ja/R is second with 540 fics

OT3 is third with 442

Je/R is last again with 396

It’s fascinating to me that clearly the LJ comm was the place for fics, even though ao3 has been around since 2007. Although in saying that I believe it only really started to get popular from 2010 onwards (the first thing I ever posted on there was in 2013, a since-orphaned, really bad James Bond/Raoul Silva fic that I wrote when I was 16 LOL) and I know the comm has been active at least back to 2008.

Lastly, on ao3 under The Grand Tour (TV) RPF tag:

J/J is first with 200 fics

Je/R is second with 146

Ja/R is third with 125

OT3 is last (just!) with 124

Obviously we can’t take these numbers as being set in stone because fics may have multiple pairings and thus multiple tags (and I know most people tag both fandoms on ao3, which doubles up the numbers), but they do give us a good idea. What’s consistent about all three platforms is that J/J is at the top or very near the top (this doesn’t surprise me; anecdotally I always thought it was the most popular pairing) and OT3 is at the bottom or near the bottom. It’s also interesting to me that in recent years Je/R seems to have leapt in popularity, and I wonder why. Were there a bunch of primarily Ja/R writers back in the day who have since left fandom?

Moving on to...

Ratings

When it comes to my fics (and keep in mind I’m using the Australian rating system of G/PG/M/MA/R here) it’s not an exact science and I’m not very good at rating but I’ve done my best:

9 are G/PG (maybe a little smooching)

3 are M (perhaps some over-the-clothes action, or more mature themes)

1 is MA (slightly smutty without being explicit)

7 are R (smut)

I’m surprised at this, because I didn’t realise I’ve written that much smut. Of those rated R fics, though, 3 are Je/R, 2 are OT3, one is J/J and one is Ja/R. So I’m at least a somewhat equal opportunity porn provider.

To make it confusing, both ao3 and the DW comm use different rating systems to each other and to me (the DW one I think is the american system and is thus incomprehensible to me, and ao3’s has always seemed vague), but let’s look at them anyway:

dreamwidth

rated G - 178 uses - 5th

rated PG - 272 uses - 3rd

rated PG-13 - 329 uses - 2nd

rated PG-15 - 133 uses - 6th

rated R - 228 uses - 4th

rated NC-17 - 505 uses - 1st

I find it interesting that these numbers don’t correspond to the amount of fics with pairings that are listed in the comm, meaning I guess a lot of fics on there aren’t tagged with their ratings. I’m thus not too sure about the accuracy of these numbers—but regardless, of what’s tagged, the people want smut it seems! LOL

ao3 - Top Gear (UK) RPF

General Audiences - 618 uses - 3rd

Teen & Up Audiences - 736 uses - 1st

Mature - 525 uses - 4th

Explicit - 668 uses - 2nd

Not Rated - 155 uses - 5th

ao3 - The Grand Tour (TV) RPF is largely the same, except General Audiences and Explicit switch places:

General Audiences - 197 uses - 2nd Teen & Up Audiences - 225 uses - 1st Mature - 146 uses - 4th Explicit - 177 uses - 3rd Not Rated - 80 uses - 5th

I find it interesting that Mature is as unpopular as it is, but otherwise, I’m not too sure what else to glean from these statistics. Moving on to my final data point...

Genres

This was nearly impossible for me to quantify because I am good at tagging my fics but a lot of the tags I use are quite specific (“First Time”, “Episode Related”) so I find it hard to fit my fic into the commonly-accepted overarching ‘genres’ of fic: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, and smut are the four that first come to mind. A lot of my fics ended up being fluff, a few smut, one or two angsty, but there are more than a few that I left untagged completely when it comes to genre because they’re kind of nothing! If anything they were maybe fluffy, but fluff to me implies tooth-rottingly sweet and these pieces didn’t really scream that to me.

smut (everything rated R basically): 7 fics

fluff: 6 fics

untagged: 5 fics

angst (but it’s weak angst by my standards, ‘minor conflict’ or ‘morose pining’ would probably be a better tag, LOL): 4 fics

double tagged (fluff/smut, smut/pwp x2, angst/smut): 4 fics

porn without plot: 2 fics

alternate universe: 1 fic

Let’s look at dreamwidth first. It has a lot of tags, which is excellent for my purposes! I haven’t included all of them; I limited myself to the top 7, an arbitrary number just cuz.

alternate universe: 428 uses

humour: 317 uses

fluff: 159 uses

gen: 150 uses

dribble/drouble/drabble: 144 uses

established relationship: 138 uses

angst: 111 uses

I suspect we’re looking at the same issue we had when examining the ratings (where people in the past have tagged their fic with the pairing but nothing else). I also suspect AU leads the pack because there’s no corresponding ‘not AU’ tag, but in all honesty I’m surprised by those numbers. Keep in mind, though, I don’t really read AU fic and don’t tend to write it (with one exception) so of course that would surprise me LOL. Humour is kinda a given with these boys, and I’m not surprised fluff is up there either. Now onto ao3!

ao3 - Top Gear (UK) RPF

Fluff: 317 uses

Established Relationship: 226 uses

RPF: 174 uses

Angst: 163 uses

Hurt/Comfort: 157 uses

Slash: 134 uses

Episode Related: 126 uses

ao3 - The Grand Tour (TV) RPF is quite similar with one amusing tag added:

Fluff: 133 uses

Established Relationship: 83 uses

Hurt/Comfort: 83 uses

Angst: 60 uses

Friendship: 46 uses

Not Beta Read: 44 uses

RPF: 39 uses

The addition of ‘Not Beta Read’ made me lol because I can identify with it a lot, but I didn’t expect it to show up in the tags! Hey, if anyone needs a beta, let me know—I love doing that shit. :D

But let’s not get bogged down with ‘oo didn’t beta ‘oo, I find the fact that RPF is on both lists to be interesting because I’ve never bothered tagging for RPF (especially as it’s already in the fandom tag). I guess it’s polite to, I just hadn’t thought of doing it! Otherwise, unlike dreamwidth, the denizens of ao3 largely seem to shun AUs (it does not appear on the list of tags at all for Top Gear (UK) RPF, and appears last in the list for The Grand Tour (TV) RPF), but we can see that fluff is right up there just like in the comm.

Conclusions

I found it interesting how the tastes of the fandom mirrored or differed to my own when it came to my writing. I found the pairing breakdowns especially fascinating with how they seem to have changed over time!

More personally, looking at my back catalogue, I truly think that anything written pre-2017 (published before of sunlight and smoke; I had my fics on a pseud of one of my kpop accounts before I deleted them all and reuploaded them on my current ao3 account which is why the dates are all a bit shonky) is a bit shit. The titles are meh, the descriptions all end in ellipses, and I just don’t think the writing is all that good.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing egregiously wrong with them. They’re just not particularly memorable; they don’t have strong plots or story beats and most were written as prompt fills. There is NOTHING wrong with prompt fills—I still love writing prompt fills—but a lot were written to fulfill a purpose (fill the prompt) and as such I didn’t have complete creative control and didn’t desire to expand on them any more than I had to. And I’m not saying my most recent works have groundbreaking premises either, but at least I can read through them and not cringe, LOL!

Anyway, if you’ve read this far, feel free to expand upon these stats yourself! I’d love to see how your writing compares, or see your own hypotheses about why the pairings have shifted so much in popularity over time!