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Feuċ, súile Dé go fuireaċ air
#bloodborne#father gascoigne#* taps sign * FATHER. remember that guys.#decadentart#caption is from notmal McLeod’s translation of psalms#specifically this is a part of psalms 33 18#interprt my message . muahahahhahahs#I think his relationship with his faith is .. complicated#in my headcanon hes actually really gentle. he is a priest after all. not reallt a violent man#but to kill beasts is sacred and holy. but its still killing#i think to an extent he can realize hes changing . mentally And physically. but he cant stop now#siiighhhh. they made a priest kill people and now he has to justify it to himself#and also he has to contend witb turning into what he can only consider a demon#do you think he wonders why hes being ‘punished’? what he did wrong in the eyes of God to deserve this?#fears for how much hes changed..?#Idk im insane and very hungry. i have like an entire essays worth of thinfs to say abt him. and i made it all up#i am very hungry rn. ggrueuaggghhhhhhhh#i could put my ramblings into a lot more sense like. not in tumblr tags#trust me. truusstt mmeee#also i know the cross isnt really used in bloodborne#however#shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up#hes not from yharnam and im not going over the slug jesus injoke rn. Okay#Also shorthand so YOU understand what this is abt :) yay
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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I like Batman. I like Batman as a character. I like Bruce Wayne. But it is very unserious when people act like Jason Todd, or maybe Damian, the robins as a whole, or any one writer, or any specific story arc, is singlehandedly corrupting Bruce’s character into an severe and inflexible colleague and distant, emotionally-unavailable father. Because even if he hadn't consistently been a questionable, loving yet unhealthy AT BEST father figure in the majority of his appearances since the early 80s (and I do mean to Dick, to Cass (actually shaping her into his image in Batgirl 2000 at the cost of her social development and autonomy ISNT good,) a BAD mentor to Steph, not even getting into Helena, like truly it’s not all about Jason?) The first well-written book that comes to mind where his morality is at its worst imo? That’s Wonder Woman: Hiketeia. No robins, no batfamily, just Bruce putting aside Wonder Woman’s input and the context of the situation and chasing down a girl who killed the men responsible for trafficking, assaulting, and killing her baby sister, to the point where it ends with her jumping off a cliff.
And the thing is I still like reading him in Hiketeia, because he fills the role he needs to fill in that story well, his actions align with his wordview even if it’s taken to the extreme in an uncharitable way, and he keeps my attention. I just think it’s goofy how some of us on here look at the guy who’s big character trait is being a hard-to-know, stubborn, and condescending control freak who puts other people's emotions on the wayside in favor of his mission prolifically, and go “all he did was LOVE TOO MUCH! His mean kids and associates and teammates are PUNISHING HIM for LOVING with his BIG BIG HEART and it’s tainting the narrative!” And you could say “well Hiketeia doesn't count, Greg Rucka is just a hater!” (though I certainly wouldn’t.) But when the issue is Damian entertaining the idea of leaving the family business, and before that it’s Red Hood stepping on toes, and then, wait, before that it’s Green Arrow and Wonder Woman, and then Huntress, and then oh wait we can’t think about the weird patch with Nightwing where their relationship was super rocky, and then Jason but before he died, and of course the Green Lanterns are basically treated like punching bags for him to do something awesome then- Like maybe if it’s a consistent pattern spanning what, 20, 30 years now? The issue isn’t Damian or Red Hood alone, or PKJ or Greg Rucka or Judd Winick or Marv Wolfman + George Perez or even Jim Starlin being a hater, but your blorbo just having extremely well-documented character flaws?
#Batman already has to be the strongest and smartest and most powerful at the cost of other characters getting shafted to a comical extent#and now he's the kindest and the sweetest and the most understanding and the biggest heart in the whole wide world too?#why's it character regression for Damian + Jason when they get into the same 20 year old fights w/ Bruce but not character stagnancy for hi#it's okay for him to stick to his guns at the cost of everyone around him but for them it's regression to not fold to his will everytime?#ok#yeah sure#some of you are so devoted to the character Batman (man who dresses up as a bat) being right forever and ever#that you're starting to use actually unbelievable justifications to defend his name in every possible situation#“it doesn't count that he punched Dick in the face he was just in a really bad emotional place!”#“he's such a cute girldad to Batgirl! I love when he tries to get her to live her life underground unable to leave for fear of the FBI”#batman has never wronged ANYONE! and don't say prioritizing catching the Joker over his runaway presumed-suicidal kid son#or blaming Dick for Jason's death or trying to sacrifice Cass's chance at a public identity so she can be his soldier full time or Steph#or Helena or making an effort to isolate every one of his kids from their peers (he's overprotective daddy uwu) or#or letting multiple women die in favor of their assaulters or firing Dick in the first place or going out of his way to PROTECT the Joker#“Jason's the only problem child who makes him act like this” so I am excluding every thing he did wrong to RH Jason to humor that bs#this isn't even about Jason the ever-understanding version of Bruce you imagine simply does not exist outside of maybe DCAU cartoons!#dc comics#I'm not tagging this as Bruce for obvious reasons but I'm not anti Bruce for real#and I'm not saying “urrrrgh Batman hitting his kids is fine actually”#I'm saying “Batman would NEVER! He kisses them tenderly on the forehead every night and reassures them he loves them” is just so untrue#just saw something tagged with “bruce wayne critical” which feels much more accurate than “anti bruce wayne” so I'll use that!#bruce wayne critical#I'm not anti him this is just kinda unflattering commentary on how we interpret his character sometimes
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The difference in tone between Emergence and the other two singles is so jarring when you listen to them back to back. On one second you're ascending to the 9th realm with Miss Gabi Rose's sax solo, on the other you're clutching your chest on the floor like a wounded animal of prey. Fun stuff.
#I've been purposely avoiding new sleep token these days to not over saturate my ears before the album drops#so it's always a bit of a whiplash listening to them. especially now after Damocles#even in the overall fandom tone. Emergence came and we all gathered enthusiastically. doing analysis. conjuring possible new lore#but now it seems everyone is on their own little corner going thru it. which yeah. i know *i* am#it's odd. not in a bad way because being introspective and sitting with your own sadness is so necessary and normal#but there's this silent layer of fear? uneasiness? looming over and below us that seems to grow thicker as we approach the release date#we new this album would be a viral point of sorts. a new era#new label. new heights etc etc#but not to this extent. or at least not quite like this.#and this isn't to say i'm no excited or anything for it! quite the opposite in fact!#but we can't deny that the shift in tone isn't going to be reflected in the way we engage with the music#it's a bittersweet feeling i suppose. like i'm preparing to face waves of grief and melancholy like i haven't in a while#while also dancing along with everyone. a party at the brink of the apocalypse sort of#idk what i'm saying tbh. kinda of a rant kind of thinking out loud#oh well#sleep token#even in arcadia#(ignore the typos i can't be bothered to rewrite the tags)
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oh everyone and their DISCLAIMERS about how “lokius will never be canon because disney and marvel are awful, but”........ well I have nothing to lose so. fuck disclaimers! this is my idea of fun! what if it CAN and WILL be canon, huh? what if the story is gonna go where it seems to be headed. what if I say they’re going to kiss on international streaming television. who’s gonna stop me
#I was in the tag on here again so. midnight shitpost time#lokius#but for real the disclaimers are like.... idk#are there Assigned Queerbaiting cops???? or are we policing each other#before anyone takes this too seriously yes I get it’s about ‘hopes’ and keeping fervor down and whatever#but the pendulum swing is just. tiring#to the extent that it has swung#sorry this is not articulate unlike my tweets on this topic semi recently#I will not let the corporations steal my joy preemptively or disappoint me preemptively. if they’re going to I’ll cross that bridge later#otherwise I find it far more exciting and entertaining to presume we live in a world where we get nice things#let me reach for the stars. because by God one day we WILL hit them#also per usual: abolish the nonsense word queerbaiting. Thank you and goodnight#PS I am not actually mad at fans protecting themselves and their emotions. I get the baseline reason. I am annoyed by The Situation#and with the use of the word ‘queerbaiting’ it all rooted in a fundamentally stupid or incorrect or shifting premise#chars loki posts
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#ok just as a followup to my earlier post which i realize no one read which is fine but i gotta just say my piece even if it's in the tags#the truly astounding amount of jayvik biological kid content is frankly getting a bit uncomfortable lmao#look - i'm not trans so please tell me if i'm getting this wrong here. but like...#the fandom obsessing over the (fanon) trans male character being able to get pregnant (multiple times) just hits weird#like. idk the term for it but? forced feminization or smth? if you feel so strongly that he's trans then why push him into a mother role?#isn't that regressive? or fetishizing maybe? like hc'ing him as trans and turning around and having him carry babies srs#just to the extent im seeing it and a bit of the language surrounding it is bordering on excessive#like if i have to hear 'viktor's so fertile' 'fill his womb' etc one more time i might start muting on twitter tbh#i can understand hc'ing him as trans and it can fit well with his existing struggles surrounding identity and bodily autonomy#so like...why jump so gd hard on the chance to have him get pregnant#especially when harry's words were 'four beautiful ADOPTED children' which would work super well with their characters already#i'm not against mpreg lol but if viktor's going to get pregnant i prefer to explore more cosmic eldritch horror options#like where it's in the arcane or when he's the herald or something that's kinda far removed from natural biological pregnancy#and my reasoning for choosing viktor over jayce is purely because he's so enmeshed with the arcane and became nonhuman#im just into weird cool xenobiology stuff. (ah the garashir days)#idk. am i way off base here? like im sure many of the people saying these things are trans themselves and they can do w/e they want#but esp for prominent fandom names to go apeshit over viktor tpreg and then denounce cis fantasy mpreg as being too weird#esp when we're dealing with the 'transmutation into omnipotent god' character in the 'all timelines all possibilities' show#*gestures vaguely* what about poor blitzcrank
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there are obviously differences but I think they have similar vibes
#dramon thoughts#the funny thing is I think out of all of the takumi and hinata are the most different? their biggest similarity is just the whole being the#protag thing.#the eito and komaeda similarities don’t need to be talked about at all lmao#but nozomi and chiaki is a comparison I don’t really see too often but I do find them having very like… similar vibes#like love interest character ofc but particularly one that is the odd one out of the wider group who also just wants the best for everyone#along with being the one of the group that knows more about what’s going on than the others (though of course to separate extents)#also if acknowledging dr3 (ugh) I think there is probably something to be said about karua and nozomi in comparison to dr3 chiaki and sdr2#chiaki…. idk though I still need to get far enough to learn what the fuck is going on with karua/nozomi#I am very eager to learn because I need to see if nozomi is a character that makes me go insane or not#hundred line spoilers#wasn’t gonna tag this at first but kinda talked a lot about vaguely spoilery things in the tags oops
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Thinking about my current situation at home. Ignoring the obvious answer of “bigotry/ignorance”, do you guys think homo/transphobic parents are so indignant because they have a set image in their minds of what a queer person is/does, and can’t fathom that they may not know their kid as well as they think they do?
#queer#black queerness#idk what to tag this as to get feedback. and I hate tag spamming#mom had a huge argument with younger sibling this summer over their poor hygiene#and her argument as to why they aren’t trans was ‘I’ve known you your whole life and you’ve always been a girly girl’#there was a side comment about me never really adhering to femininity. but not important#to an extent it feels like for both of us she sees our existence as a ‘phase’ pushed on us by our friends#which is just blatant bigotry!! but idk#it feels like she has this set image in her head of who we are and who we’ll be as adults. and anytime we deviate from that she shuts down#like lol lmao she still thinks I’m going to be a mother someday. girl I am getting my uterus removed asap#many thoughts. I guess if anyone else has a take on this comment#honking
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i know i make fun of ppl sometimes for having such brainrot about a character that they draw them doing Literally Whatever but i can't stop thinking about kaiji playing minesweeper
#like his arc of going in with the simplest strategy then being like what am i stupid?? how did i not see this before?!!#and gradually the strats getting more elaborate etc as the game goes on#to the extent of him kind of looking like a dumbass in the first rounds for a couple games#ANYWAY#fkmt#kaijiposting#kaiji itou#i guess#yeah i'll clog the tag why not. who cares#i played minesweeper for hhe first time in like 3 years last night so i had to rapidly go through all those revelations#it's funny to ME but idk that it would be particularly engaging to draw out. might anyway
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#the level at which i am ready to go offgrid/live in an abbey rn#is a far greater extent than i think anyone realizes#holding me back? literally my goblins#i could give up everything but i can't give up them#ragamusings in the tags#and abbeys and other communal lifestyles dont tend to accept pets lol
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... it's just hit me that lister describes the bathroom kiss as assault and even when jimmy reassures him that he doesn't see it that way and doesn't have a problem with it, lister refuses to accept that it was anything other than objectively assault
while two days earlier jimmy insisted that a 32-yr-old having sex with lister at age 16 was wrong, despite lister not seeing it that way and not having a problem with it
does that mean that lister took that conversation on board but only as far as "the person on the receiving end of an advance can't accurately assess whether or not it was wrong" and is now equating himself to the woman that took advantage of him . because i will weep
#i am conflicted about the bathroom kiss to an extent#because on the one hand . do not kiss someone without asking dude wtf#but also . the difference in jimmy's response to it compared to the magnet situation which is? relatively similar#w magnet he was 'this is fine'ing his whole way through it and forcing himself to be ok with it and would've likely kept going if—#— lister hadn't interrupted it#whereas in the bathroom he is in an objectively worse mental state & more consistently dissociative despite being sober . yet he actively—#— considers it and almost goes along with it before deciding for Both his and lister's sakes not to#and i think his clarity & consideration there as well as the fact he felt Safe to pull away is meaningful to an extent#because it's one of the only situations this week where he's actually felt & acted on a sense of control over what happens to him#+ lister's immediate reaction being to back off and recognise his being at fault and never once holding it against jimmy#like again . should not have happened do not kiss ppl without asking#but i do find myself viewing it in a very different light to the v comparable magnet situation#anygay i am rambling in tags again when i should be asleep but still#i worry that lister is now viewing himself in the same light as jimmy views the ppl that took advantage of lister#but i Also worry that he is viewing himself as Worse than those ppl bc he can't/won't accept that he was taken advantage of#i do also now kind of want to write a Lister In Therapy oneshot partly just for the catharsis of imagining that boy getting some gd therapy#iwbftreread
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having a bit of an issue where some of the bits around the edge of a page gets a bit blurry on the scanner (see attatched image). i think this is probably a side effect of the rings on the binder but i don't know how exactly to fix this without tearing the pages out to scan (thus removing the entire usefulness of a sketchbook). anyone have advice
#i know to an extent that i can just like. put about a top thumb joint of space between the tear line and the furthest left drawing.#unfortunately i am a forgetful man. and thus three birds are in this space.#all advice given here will go towards making an image of three birds (a duck swan and silly goose) actually of good quality.#well not really great quality they were all done mostly without reference as doodles while out and about. i like them though.#anyways new scanned stuff coming soon possibly maybe. the rest of the page is pretty good quality i just have to edit them a bit.#everything is so close to everything else which is great for having more page per page but bad for separating out singular pieces.#ok ramble over lets slap down the tag#mios rambles#and leave it there.
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I want you folks to know that I am watching Peter Pan & The Pirates, The Play's the Thing and my state of being is just


#moca screeches#i am losing my mind. i have not been losing my mind to this extent for A WHILE.#the amount of self restraint I have rn to not just start live blogging my absolute loss of brain every time Hook fucking BREATHES is immense#and yes. this is going in the fandom tag.#i am gonna be cringe on main and fully cringe#if this fandom had more content my blog would be FLOODED WITH THIS MAN#fox's peter pan and the pirates
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this is relevant to approximately two people
#nothing of importance#ii mephone4s#lil hal homestuck#yeah i’m not tagging his properly. anyways. goes INSANE#this has been rotating in my mind for months now. feels sort of silly that this is one of the few things i’ve posted in recent times#that and gt+. see alas homestuck fixation has ended but i still love you guys thank you for having me in the intermission community#as for the post. also consider parallels between hal and bot. me when i am created as a replacement for a (not quite) dead person and-#-that’s basically the extent of my identity. also i’m a kid#honestly all the robot arcs in ii go SO fucking hard i am family guy death pose#also also ask me anything about mephone4s ever i am number one 4s fan for life
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#i'm too tired to figure out what to keep doing at the creche OR advance the story bc i am tired so i decided to fuck everything up bad#and see what commentary i could get out of caia/dream visitor because i'm very '(twirls hair) haha and then what' about her#the extent of this is she is totally sick of my ass and mad at me n said FINE go get your ass beat. see if i care anymore. arque breakup arc#two parter post hangon i dont wanna flood maintag with aaaaall my own gameplay screenshots sorry#baldur's gate 3#i need an oc tag#armour clanking
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Miguel is talking about Lachrian Faith what's your opinions or experiences with it?
i saw. idk. i grew up there i guess. my family on my dad and fathers side are all super lachrian and i think my pa is to some extent too?? idk. my mom isnt she just like. follows along because like she lives there and likes to partake in other cultures and the lachrian faith is very much a huge part of vulgrado's culture. i used to be i think but idk i dont really believe in it anymore. i dont know how much of it is real i dont think lachrilove or serasphirit are real. i dont think legendaries are real in general anymore with some exceptions.
idk how much of it is i just dont believe in it anymore or how much is the fact that so much of my childhood has been tied to vulgrado, so much of it spent there, so much of my moms culture that i havent really gotten to experience for various reasons that im running away from it out of spite. i dont even know what region my pa is from other than not vulgrado so i sure as hell dont know his culture either. idk. i never got an island challenge and im finally getting to make itup NOW right before its too late. my mom used to tell me how she wished she coulda taken me to the festivals they have for jirachi in hoenn because we cant make a proper wish without a shrine unless we see a shooting star. a lot of stuff i know about alolan culture is because of alolans telling me after i came to narauva. most of the stuf of history and culture of both my family on my moms side and also just the world in general comes from my grandma telling me stories as a kid and i dont know how much of it is real or fake or how much is real but does or doesnt actually apply to me. she used to tell me about the wolves and kingsmen and how the hounds respected them. i dont know if she made that up and was right or we actually remembered them.
am i non religious because im non religious or am i non religious because im afraid of the fact ive all but abandoned one side of my family?
#blind spot#maple moment#//maple experiences the horrors of children with parents from different culture + the horrors of kids living in a different country than#//the one that their family comes from#//i need to clarify before anyone comes at me because some people on tumblr are stupid that like#//my parents are immigrants and also come from two different cultures and i experiance this like. can i call myself from their cultures#//when barely know one and even what i know about the other is so damn sparse and the first time i went to the country one side of#//my family is from was this year. i am an adult. i have never visited the country the other side is from and likely will not for YEARS#//so this is written from the heart to some extent + also from talking with a ton of people with similar experiances both religiously and#//culturally. but lets be real religion and culture do go hand in hand to some degree. culture and religion do shape eachother#//ask to tag btw i feel like this needs some sorta tw but i cannot think of what
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