#to shoot his wife who is divorcing him. not exactly a stand-up guy

[frankiebirds]

I've always been a little thrown off by the way the characters (the team and the passengers) react to Reid trying to talk down Ted, and I've never liked that the episode ends with Ted being shot (although I appreciate that he survives).

I'm not saying this to be critical of the characters: the team doesn't have audio, and the passengers (save for Elle and the incapacitated psychologist) don't have the knowledge to see Reid getting through to him, but:

I don't know. Look at Ted's face. I'm bad at reading expressions, but at the very least, this doesn't seem like the expression of someone unaffected by what's being said to him, or the face of a man who's about to start shooting people. During the conversation, Ted stops aiming the gun at Reid, and yells at Leo to shut up when he tells him to shoot Reid.

I really think that Reid was on his way to talking Ted down, and I wish he'd gotten to do it. I don't think Elle hitting Ted while Reid is talking him down makes a lot of sense*. She's one of the few passengers who can understand that Ted is calming down, and I think she's at the right angle to see his changing expression. I wish Reid had gotten the chance to keep talking, because I do think he was close to ending it without anyone else getting shot.

One other thing I noticed while watching this episode—throughout the episode, Leo has always been onscreen while he speaks, either in the same frame as Ted, or the camera cuts to him while he speaks. However, if you rewatch the scene, notice that whenever Leo speaks during it, not only is he always offscreen, but his voice has an echo to it that wasn't there before. I don't think most of the analysis I post is reflective of the writer's intent, but that seems very intentional to me, symbolizing that Leo is becoming less real to Ted and therefore losing his grip on him.

*this is a criticism of the writing, not the character. yes, elle is impulsive, but the choice to hit ted while he's being talked down and is no longer aiming the gun at anyone seems like a strange and risky choice.

[fadedseas]

lessons.

nick amaro x fem!reader

summary: you get held hostage during a confrontation with a serial rapist - feelings ensue

tw: guns, violence, mentions of rape, cursing

(gif not mine but good lord, that expression...)

you knew there was an intrinsic reason you hated school. you knew it was a mistake to ever return to a classroom again. you knew this notion was affirmed as a serial rapist pressed his gun deeper into your skull so hard that you could feel the metal ring of the barrel.

there was something about the stuffiness of a classroom, the monotonous drone of an underpaid and overworked public school teacher (or that of an overpaid and underworked tenured professor) and the unrelenting stiffness of academia that made your skin crawl and your muscles twitch. it was probably why you had tried to get out as soon as possible. college as a scholarship kid with the four years passing quickly in a blur of all-nighters, coffee hangovers and then sweet relief during graduation. you had signed up for the police academy before the ink on your degree was even dry. and now you’re here. 

“now let’s just stay calm,” you closed your eyes at nick’s voice, trying to allow the deep tenor of his voice permeate your bones and calm your trembling. you hadn’t allowed yourself to make eye contact with him ever since the perp had grabbed you right when you had walked in. 

“i know you don’t want to do this.” nick moved slow, his muscles deceptively relaxed under his white button down as he moved slowly towards you and the professor. 

it was supposed to be a cut and dry case. a student from hudson university had walked into a squad room on a wednesday morning reporting a rape, her arms around her middle as if she were holding herself together. you and nick had pounded the pavement, interviewing classmates, boyfriends, administration officials that seemed less than pleased to have the nypd scaring off prospective students and donors. and one name kept appearing time and time again. professor daniel hershaw. english literature. tenured for the past fifteen years. 

“you really think it might be him? he’s the image of a family man. mentor. i mean the guy makes model planes for godssake - he’s a walking cliche.” you mused 

“one thing you learn on this job - most of the time, we’re not pulling rapists off the street. they hunt where they’re trusted.” nick said as he handed you a coffee from the coffee cart with his lips curved into a sad smile. your heart jumped as your fingers brushed. and oh. yes. that was another thing that was happening.

liv had assigned you and nick as partners given that you were the newest recruit and he was one of the senior members of the team. it was late nights, terrible coffee, greasy chinese food and floods of case notes that turned stagnant work chatter into deeper, more revealing conversations. you learned about his tendency to dance to the cuban music station on the radio (”we can work on your moves rookie”), his secret love for musicals, his divorce that had ended a year ago with an aggressive custody battle and long negotiations for weekends and holidays with his daughter, zara. you had learned more about his family, about zara’s obsession with anything disney, about his mother and her fretting, about his father and his tendency to communicate with his fists that made nick’s rage swell whenever your team handled a case involving women with black eyes and voices weak from sobs. 

and he learned of you. of your love for terrible reality tv shows and home cooking blogs that made you way too optimistic of your own cooking skills (”damn rookie, you burned water? i’ll have to teach you how to cook some ropa vieja someday - we’ll work up to it”); of your nightmares about each victim you’ve seen from your years in homicide and how their last expressions have been etched into your memory; of your parents and their incessant pushing for college and their disappointment when you joined the force. 

and you learned about the strong curve of his arms as he held you in his arms the first time you had shot and killed a perp who was raising a gun at you. the smell of his cologne and old spice filling your lungs as you tried to steady your breath. the flutter of his lips against your ear as he whispered that it was going to be ok. you learned about the roughness of his voice when he called you, late at night after drinking away his sorrows of his previous marriage at the bar and you learned about how he nursed his his hangovers the subsequent day when you curled up with him on his couch, not quite touching, after you had come over the night before to make sure he had gotten home safe and didn’t choke on his own vomit. you learned about the unfamiliar pressure of your chest as you realized that somehow, somewhere down the line of cold morning rides around the city, warm coffee, inside jokes, and progressively lingering stares across the squad room - you were in love. 

and now you were learning about his hostage negotiation skills.

it was a mistake to have spoken to the professor’s wife before you arrived at the classroom. she seemed entirely too calm about the matter, methodically pouring you and nick tea as she answered your question in short, snipped sentences. you made sure to note the gun cabinet as you left through the front door. you didn’t note the cell phone in her hand as she closed the door behind you. 

“stay back or i swear i’ll shoot her.” professor hershaw’s hand trembled as he kept pressing the metal into your head. 

“ok! ok! i’m staying back.” nick stopped his progress towards you. you could see the slight shake of his legs from the tension. 

“put your weapon down!” the professor barks behind you. 

 nick lifts his hands and your breath caught in your throat as he slowly kneels places his gun on the floor. he wasn’t wearing a bulletproof vest. you hadn’t expected a confrontation like this. he was completely open and exposed to a man with a gun.

since you had worked closely with the dead prior to this position, you had often thought about how you would die. you knew it was possible you could die in the line of duty. hundreds did every day. but you didn’t think it would be here. in front of nick. in front of the man you’ve been in love with for the past year. you didn’t think it would be before he taught you how to dance or cook or whether he would ever fix the radiator in his car. before you ever felt his lips against your and whether that would feel as slow and passionate as you had often fantasized it would. before you even had the chance to tell him how you felt. so many plot lines unfulfilled. so many questions left unanswered. but at the moment, all you could think about was how you wanted to look into his eyes once more before you died.

“you’re a good man. you got kids - good ones. i’ve met them -” nick’s tone was placating, slow.

“don’t talk about my children!” the professor jerked his gun, knocking your head a bit to the side, “i know they’re good. i raised them. better than the whores that walk through these halls. in these classrooms.”

“yea. yea i understand professor. it’s unfair - all of them just get to walk around like they own the place. like there’s no consequences for them -”

“exactly,” you could feel his spittle on the back of your head, “i showed them the lesson they deserved.” 

nick’s eyes moved from the perp to meet yours. and a shudder of warmth flowed through you as you saw fear, anger, determination - and something else that as more than you could process at the moment. but you did catch his slight nod. “that’s right. you punished them. rightfully so. because - it’s like you wrote about right? ‘Vengeance comes from the individual and punishment from God.’“

"you - you read victor hugo?” the professor stuttered, his arm slacked slightly in shock and there it was. you immediately ripped yourself from his arms as he staggered back in surprise. you dived for the floor as you heard the professor’s shout echo on the walls of the lecture hall and a gunshot. and then silence. 

you scrambled up, drawing your weapon quickly, your heart in your chest, terrified at what you might see. 

“call a bus!” you felt your entire body relax as you saw nick towering over the professor with his gun drawn and a bullet wound in the professor’s shoulder. 

later, much later, after you had been subject to medical exams by ems (albeit quite reluctantly) with nick hovering behind the paramedic’s shoulder like an unfriendly poltergeist that radiated anxiety, after liv had ordered you to take a few days, after you had returned to the squad room to fill out some paperwork in nick’s car as the both of you sat in heavy silence with too many things left unsaid between you two. you finally had a moment alone with your partner. 

most of the team had left with liv retiring to her office to have a quick call with the babysitter and say goodnight to noah. fin had clapped you on the shoulder and amanda had stopped by with coffee and an offer to let her know if you needed anything before she left to take care of the kids. the night shift had transferred in and you were finishing up the last words of the report when you sensed a presence and looked up. nick was standing by your desk, his lips in a firm line and brow furrowed. 

“can we talk?” he gestured towards the bunks. your heart flipped as you nodded, scribbling your signature onto the paperwork and shutting the file.

nick closed the door behind you. and you waited until the silence between you became unbearable.

“thank you for everything today nick. i mean - you saved my life. i could have died today and -”

“i know.” his voice seemed unnaturally loud in the quiet room. nick paced the floor, his hands gripping at his thick, dark hair. “i know you could’ve died. and i can’t stop seeing it. there’s just - i can’t describe how i felt watching him touch you. seeing how afraid you were. and how f**king helpless i was when all i wanted to do was just take your place - and when i finally got him away from you - i just wanted to -” he collapsed on a bunk and covered his eyes with his palms. 

you moved towards him, placing your hands on his shoulders, feeling the crisp fabric of his shirt crinkle under the heat of your hands. 

“you just wanted to what?”

nick lifted his head to meet your gaze, “you know you’re my partner. and there’s nothing i wouldn’t do to protect you. you’ve been there through everything this past year and i kept telling myself that i didn’t deserve everything you’ve been doing for me - didn’t deserve you.”  

you inhaled sharply, “nick - “

“i love you. there, i said it. and that was all i could think about today. losing someone else in my life that i love.” he sighed, rubbing his hand across his face, “i’ve been in love with you since that christmas party when you walked in with discount boy george - “

“kevin,” you automatically corrected the name of your old friend from college that you had brought as a date. 

“and you were just so beautiful. and i know that i don’t deserve you. but i just couldn’t stop wanting you. hoping for you. and it’s so selfish -”

he never got to finish his sentence. because by that point you had fully processed his words. you framed his face in your hands, bent down and pressed your lips against his. 

and suddenly all you could think, feel or taste was nick and his mouth moving against yours - warm, firm, steady - just like him. you were pushed back as nick got up from the bunk, his hands gripping your waist. you separated for a moment, drawing back to look into his eyes. beautiful brown. just like you never thought you would ever see again. 

and then nick pushed his body against yours, pressing you against the wall of the bunk room, his lips sweeping the corners of your mouth before exploring down your neck. 

“f**k - i thought i was going to lose you.” he growled, puncturing each word with a kiss and a nip at your neck. you gasped, your fingers diving deep into his hair. 

“never - you’ll never lose me nick. i never want to be apart from you.” 

nick dragged his face up to your, pulling you into a ferocious kiss, dominating you as his tongue swept through your mouth. his hands, large and seemingly burning, explored your back, and you shivered his his fingers played with the hem of your shirt. 

“everything about you,” his lips were everywhere, your hair, forehead, cheeks, “i cannot lose - do you understand me mi alma.” he closed his eyes, muttering in spanish as he held you close.  

you nodded, feeling intoxicated in his presence, his smell, the feeling of his body against yours. your hands gripped his shirt pulling him to you, anchoring yourself in the storm of his affection, “i got you. i love you too nick. i’m ok. i’m going to be ok.” you repeated the last sentence as nick’s body slowly went lax. 

he pressed his forehead to yours, and your breath caught at the vulnerability in his expression. “i know you’re going to be ok. it’ll just take a while before i get the image of you held at gunpoint out of my head every second of the day.” 

you smiled, pressing your hand against his cheek, “then i’ll be right beside you. reminding you that i’m right here.” his lips twitched as he grasped one of your hands from his chest, sweeping kisses across his knuckles.

“i know quierida.” 

you both stood in silence for a moment, basking in the presence of each other and the feelings you had just released. your heart felt lighter than it had in a very long time, and the butterflies in your stomach settled as nick’s body heat calmed you. 

“i’m tired, and i want to go home. come with me?” your request was bold but you trusted nick more than anyone to keep you safe. and you weren’t looking forward to the nightmares you knew would be resurfacing.

“i wouldn’t be anywhere else.” nick pressed kisses across your hairline. 

you both exited the bunks, and tried to suppress the red that bloomed across your faces. liv was exiting her office with her coat on and her bag slung on her shoulder. she raised an eyebrow as you both approached her.

“well i expect not you see you here for a few days,” she reiterated to you, “good night guys - try not to stay too late.” she turned and then paused, “and i expect the paperwork about your relationship on my desk by the time you get back from leave.” without another word, olivia exited to the elevators.

“oh god.” you placed your head in your hands, unable to stop the burning in your face and neck. nick strolled over to your desk, chuckling. 

“well she’s captain for a reason. you really can’t get anything past liv.” 

you rolled your eyes, “great, more paperwork to do then.” 

nick smiled as he swooped down for another quick kiss when no one was watching, “it’s all for a good cause. c’mon, let’s grab your bag and go. it’s late.” 

you laughed and nodded. grabbing your coat off the back of your chair and putting it on. as you and nick walked out of the station, hand-in-hand, a thought occurred to you - 

“when did you read victor hugo?”

[green-eyed-weirdo]

If you took a sip for every broken promise, you’d end up with an empty cup

This one was supposed to be for the last day of Bechloe week, Cheating. Two months later, it’s now finally finished. The story is based on the Dutch song ‘Lippenstift’ (which translates to lipstick). 

As mentioned in the prompt; it’s about cheating. Consider yourself warned. But don’t worry, they DON’T cheat on each other!! ;)

Read below or on AO3.

The one with ‘Skip’.

Living with Chloe has always been easy. Beca feels that, from the moment the two of them met, Chloe has always been able to read her. Where others would have trouble getting past her not-so-sunny personality and her sarcasm, Chloe had always understood her. 

Growing up, Beca had built up some pretty solid walls around her, and Chloe seemed to have moved right past them. For some reason, Beca had let her. It took some time getting used to having such a happy, bubbly person around her all the time, but after Chloe had proclaimed they were going to be fast friends, all Beca could do is resign in her fate: Chloe was going to be her best friend. 

When they moved into the Bella house, Beca had realized how much she loved spending time with Chloe. She enjoyed having the other Bella’s around as well, of course, but her relationship with Chloe was on a whole other level. After only a few months of living together, they had formed such a bond, they knew what the other was thinking just by looking at them. Their friends joked about it all the time, saying how they worked and lived together, but also argued like an old married couple. 

After graduation, Beca had landed a job as a junior music producer at BFD records in New York City. Chloe didn’t think twice when Beca had asked her to come to New York with her and so their old married couple habits moved to New York with them. They had settled into a comfortable routine pretty quickly and Beca was very happy with the direction in which her life was going. Except for one thing. Or rather, one person. She was moving in the wrong direction.

Living with Chloe had always been easy, until about four months ago. Both of them had been casually dating here and there, the occasional hook-up, but nothing too serious. Beca has no idea what exactly happened four months ago, but from one day to the next, Chloe had started desperately looking for love. Every guy she met, every date she had, they were all ‘the one’ until they weren’t. 

Beca hates seeing Chloe like this. To her, Chloe is the kindest, most beautiful, most amazing woman in the world and with this serial dating she’s been doing lately, it seems she has lost all respect for herself. It breaks Beca’s heart because Beca loves Chloe. Like, really loves her. Of course, she has never told her. Or anyone for that matter. No one except, surprisingly, Aubrey. 

Aubrey had called her out after the campfire at the retreat, during senior year. According to Aubrey, it was written all over Beca’s face that she was in love with her best friend. Beca had tried to deny it at first but soon had to realize there was no use. Aubrey knew, and maybe that was for the better. Now she at least had someone to confide in.

They have been in New York for almost a year now. Beca had hoped her crush on her best friend would fade, but in reality, it had only gotten stronger. She was very grateful for Aubrey, who was always there, on the other end of the phone, when she needed to vent.

Over the past few months, since Chloe started seriously looking for ‘the one’, that has happened more frequently. On more than one occasion, Aubrey had tried to convince her to just tell Chloe the truth about her feelings. Sadly, Beca had never been very good with words and had not yet been able to say the words out loud.

===

On her way home after a long day at the studio, Beca tries to get her mind off the pile of work still waiting for her on her desk. She is looking forward to a relaxing evening, watching movies and having dinner with her best friend. As she gets off the subway, she thinks to send Chloe a quick text to check if the coast is clear.

BECA: On my way home now, be there in 10  Is he gone?

CHLOE: Not yet Getting dressed now He’ll be gone before you get here, promise

BECA: Good. See you in a bit.

CHLOE: xxx

===

Chloe had been dating this dude for about two months now. Honestly, she couldn’t even call it dating. Chloe had been seeing this dude. This married dude, to be exact. 

They’d met in a coffee shop downtown and hit it off right away. After lots of texting and two dates, Chloe had found herself head over heels in love with this guy. Beca, however, had a bad feeling about him. For example, he would always come to their apartment, Chloe never went to his. Also, he rarely took Chloe out in public. But the thing that annoyed Beca the most, is that he would go days on end without texting Chloe back or answering his phone. That usually happens right when he leaves their apartment, after what Chloe calls ‘a date’. (In reality, he comes over, they eat something and have sex. Beca does her best to keep her opinions to herself though). 

Chloe went through a few stages of emotion with that last one. In the beginning, she would get worried, later on, she’d get pissed and now, after two months, Chloe just seems sad when she doesn’t get a response for days. 

When Beca had carefully brought this up to her best friend, Chloe’s expression had dropped. A little embarrassed she had explained to Beca that her new lover was married. “They are separated but he is still living with his wife at the moment. But he has basically already left her,” Chloe had assured her best friend. Beca had been suspicious about the story but had left it at that. As said, that was two months ago. 

From the moment Chloe had started seeing him, Beca has gone out of her way to make sure she isn’t home when he’s there. Cheating is a sore subject for her and she really doesn’t want anything to do with the situation. Chloe understands and makes sure to inform Beca whenever he would be there. Every now and then, Beca would comment on it, but she knows Chloe has lost herself in this guy too much to listen to her anyway. 

As kind of a funny, snarky joke, Beca calls the guy ‘Skip’. She knows that’s not his real name but calling him ‘Skip’ would hopefully, eventually get her message across. The message that this guy is not going to stick around. He will skip out on her and go back to his wife soon enough and leave Chloe heartbroken. Beca was both awaiting and dreading that day.

===

Exactly ten minutes later Beca opens the door to their apartment building and walks into the stairwell. She’s exhausted from the long day she’s had and has to literally will her feet to move and carry her up the stairs. They live on the third floor, so she still has a good way to go. On her way up, she hears feet stomp down the stairs and a guy answering his phone.

“Hey, baby!” She hears him say in the sweetest voice, that almost makes her throw up in her mouth a little. “Yes, work has been insanely busy today. I know, honey, I know. I’m on my way home right now. Yes, I promise!” 

Beca stops at the landing between the first and second floor to let him pass. She glares at him as he rushes past her saying “I love you too, baby” into his phone. In his quick passing, she notices a flash of light red on his collar. She smirks to herself when she recognizes Chloe’s favorite color lipstick. “Talk your way out of that one, asshole”, she thinks.

Beca looks up in the direction of her apartment and already knows the scene she’s about to walk into.

This exact thing has happened many times before over the past two months. Beca has seen her best friend change from a bubbly, confident woman into a vulnerable girl who cries more than she smiles. It breaks her heart even thinking about it.

=== 5 weeks ago ===

Beca had been out for a drink after work with a few co-workers. Chloe had texted her earlier that her new boyfriend would be coming over, so Beca had made an effort to stay away. A little buzzed she walked up the stairs of their apartment building, hoping she’d stayed out long enough. Just as she headed up the final steps, she saw him coming down the stairs, phone to his ear. “Yes, baby, I’m on my way now. My meeting ran late, I’m sorry. See you in a few. Love you.” Beca looked back at the guy in disgust as he walked past her giving her no notice whatsoever. She immediately understood what was going on though and hurried up the stairs to talk to Chloe.

As she throws open the door to the apartment, she sees Chloe busy cleaning up the dishes from dinner. A little out of breath, she puts her jacket away and joins Chloe in the kitchen. 

“Chlo, you okay?” Beca noticed right away her best friend looks sad. 

“Yeah, I’m okay” Chloe lies.

“I have to tell you something. I don’t really know how to tell you this, so I’m just going to say it.” Chloe looks at her with a questioning look. “I think he’s lying to you, Chlo. I passed him on the stairs and he was calling her ‘baby’ over the phone. It definitely didn’t sound like a couple getting a divorce.” Beca sees Chloe is avoiding to look at her. 

Without a word, Chloe walks out of the kitchen and into the living room. She sits down on the couch and keeps looking at her hands. With a soft voice, she says “I know”. Beca had followed her best friend into the living room and squats down in front of her. 

“You know?” 

“Yeah… He’s still married.” And with those words, Chloe breaks down. “He says their marriage is practically over. He loves me, he really does, Bec. He’s going to leave her soon.” Beca doesn’t really know what to say. 

“Chloe, how… why…” She is shocked that her beautiful, amazing best friend would allow someone to treat her like that.

“I really don’t want to talk about it.” Chloe blubbers through her tears. Beca stands up at that and walks to the kitchen. She opens the fridge and gets out two bottles of beer and a tub of ice cream. As she walks back, she tells Chloe to pick a movie. Chloe shoots her a grateful smile as they settle on the couch.

===

Beca is startled out of her memory by a door slamming a few floors up. Her exhaustion forgotten, she jogs the rest of the way up the stairs, to get to Chloe as fast as she can. As she opens the door, she immediately spots her sitting on the couch, tear-stained face, staring straight ahead. Beca pushes down the anger she feels coming up at the sight of her heartbroken best friend and springs into action.

She goes through her very familiar routine of getting two beer bottles and the tub of ice cream and sets it down on the coffee table. She sits down on the couch next to Chloe and pulls her into a hug. After about a minute, she looks at Chloe and gently wipes the tears from her face. She gives her the remote and tells her to pick a movie while she gets comfortable on the couch. They don’t talk about it this time.

===

As the final credits of the movie start rolling, Beca looks down at her lap and notices Chloe has fallen asleep. Beca had been playing with Chloe’s hair for the last 20 minutes and she knows this has a calming effect on her. She carefully gets up and covers Chloe with a blanket to let her rest for a little bit. “Dinner can wait”, she thinks.

Beca takes out her phone and while walking to her bedroom, she thumbs the number of the person she needs to talk to right now. With a shaky, watery breath she puts the phone to her ear.

Aubrey answers on the first ring and before she can even explain why she’s calling, tears start rolling down her face. Weirdly enough, Aubrey has always been good at calming her down and this time is no different. Beca goes on to tell her what has happened tonight. “I wish she’d realize he’s never going to leave his wife,” Aubrey says with a sigh. 

“I know. She is honestly worth so much more than this, it breaks my heart. This is going to sound so mean, but… I wish he would just end it. Or that his wife would find out. I mean, I saw Chloe’s lipstick on his collar when I passed him on the stairs.” she says it with a smirk and hears Aubrey snort a laugh. “But in all seriousness, Chloe would be heartbroken, but it would set her free, you know?” Aubrey hums in agreement.

“I don’t know what to do anymore, Aubs.” Beca pleads with her friend. 

“I mean, there is one thing you could do…” Aubrey starts hesitantly. “You could, you know… tell her how you feel.”

“I have been though! I’ve been telling her for weeks…”

“You know that’s not what I mean, Beca.” Aubrey interrupts her.

“Yeah, I know…”

“I really think she’d want to know. I’m pretty sure it’ll change things.”

Beca isn’t convinced confessing her feelings to Chloe will change anything, but Aubrey seems to be pretty certain. With a promise to think about it, they wrap up their call and hang up. 

Expressing her feelings has never really been Beca’s strong suit. Music on the other hand… totally her thing. She picks up her guitar and starts playing, humming to the soft melody that seems to come naturally.

===

Oeh you, I thought you knew better Always thought you were better than that

Oeh you, are so naive, so lost in dreams So in love, head over heels, and he...

=== 3 weeks ago ===

She’d known Chloe was with ‘Skip’ so she again made an effort to stay out as long as she possibly could. She hated seeing Chloe all smiley and heart-eyed when she was with this guy because she knew what was to come after he closed the door behind him. Chloe would yet again be a mess, and Beca would sit with her all night, picking up the pieces.

Beca had come home that night to a particularly heart-wrenching scene. He had been standing by the front door, ringtone screaming from his back pocket while the two said their goodbyes. She’d slipped past him into the apartment without giving them a second look and walked straight into her room to put her work stuff away. 

Walking back out into the living room she heard him say: “Chloe, I really have to go. She keeps calling, I can’t keep dodging her calls.”  She sees him give Chloe a quick kiss saying “thanks, this was fun” and with that, he leaves the apartment. It’s clear Chloe wants to say something else (probably beg him to stay a little longer) but her face drops as he rushes out the door, and she closes it quietly. 

She turns around to see Beca looking at her with a sympathetic look on her face. “Please Bec, don’t. Not right now.” Chloe looks away and starts walking towards her bedroom.

“Then when Chloe?” Beca challenges her best friend. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

Chloe looks at her with a defiant look in her eyes. “Do what exactly? Please Beca, enlighten me with your expert opinion.” Chloe knows she’s not playing fair and she sees it on Beca’s face too. Beca has had her fair share of experience with a dad leaving her family for another woman. Still, she just couldn’t help herself, she just feels so much frustration.

“Chlo...” Beca pleads “you know he’s not being real with you. Please, Chloe… he’s not worth all this!” Beca’s voice gets louder as she speaks the words she’s been holding in for a while. 

“No! You’ve got it all wrong, Beca! He doesn’t love her anymore, he loves me. He promised he’ll leave her soon and then we can be together. It will happen, you’ll see!” Beca sees hope in Chloe’s eyes. It sparks anger inside of her that she didn’t know was there.

“He tells you all these sweet little things, all these promises… Chloe, he goes home and tells her the exact same things!” Beca sees a tear rolling down Chloe’s face as she looks down at her feet. 

Beca takes Chloe’s hands in hers and wills her voice to soften before she speaks again. “Honey, I know you really like him, that you really enjoy spending time with him. But you can never go out together, never leave this apartment. Chlo, he’ll never hold your hand or kiss you in a public place.” Chloe looks down at her hands in Beca’s and then looks up at Beca. Without a word, she pulls her hands free, walks into her bedroom and closes the door behind her. 

Beca releases the breath she was holding and wipes the tear that has run down her face. She can hear Chloe crying in her room and her heart breaks for her best friend. She turns around and walks to the fridge to get the ice cream and beer. She’ll give her a moment to collect herself, but after that, as always, she will be there to pick up the pieces.

===

Beca continues humming the melody and writes down the next set of lyrics that flow from her brain. She feels the lyrics so strongly. Does Chloe not know how beautiful she is? She doesn’t understand why she would let this guy treat her like this. All the questions swimming in her head just flow out of her.

What do you want to be? Someone's lover or their biggest secret? Will you set yourself free? Or will you choose someone who’ll never be there when you need it?

Ask yourself, even if you’re hurt; Aren’t you worth a lot more than just the lipstick on his shirt?

I see your lipstick on his collar, babe but you are worth so much more than that I see it on his collar, babe but you are worth so much more than that

====

Beca feels a tear roll down her face as she goes through what she’s got so far. Writing lyrics has never been something she was really good at, but apparently, this particular situation had given her the inspiration she needed. She starts from the top and plays through it again, in the hopes the next part will come naturally.

=== last week ===

Wednesdays are Beca’s work from home days. She gets to sleep in a little and just spends the day doing administrative stuff and playing around on her mixing board. She really enjoys these days, mostly because Wednesday happens to be Chloe’s day off. They have breakfast together, Beca starts work while Chloe does some housework, they have lunch together, Beca goes back to work while Chloe goes out for groceries and they finish the day together in the kitchen, Beca wrapping up the last of her work while Chloe cooks dinner. It’s very domestic and Beca loves it.

However, this Wednesday was a little bit different. They’d just finished lunch when Chloe’s phone started buzzing on the table. “It’s him” she shoots Beca an apologetic smile while she steps away from her. Beca feels instantly annoyed but decides not to dwell on it for too long. She puts the dishes away and walks to her room to continue her work. As she passes Chloe’s bedroom, she hears her say “okay, yeah, sure… you can come over.” She sighs and rolls her eyes at that. She makes sure she closes her bedroom door behind her and puts on her noise-cancelling headphones, just to be safe.

It’s around 2:30 pm when she feels her bladder is about to explode. She curses herself for not thinking of emptying her bladder before and fleetingly looks around to see if she might be able to avoid leaving her room. She really does not want to hear any sounds coming from Chloe’s room or worse, run into ‘Skip’. Reluctantly, she pulls her headphones from her head and puts them next to her mixing board. She quickly opens the bedroom door and jogs down the hall to the bathroom to relieve herself. 

On her way back to her room, she hears Chloe’s bedroom door open and ‘Skip’ comes walking down the hall. He’s wearing nothing but his boxers, towel slung over his shoulder and he shoots Beca a seductive smile and a wink. Beca has never rolled her eyes louder. She stops when she sees Chloe sitting on the edge of her bed, wearing nothing but her bra and panties, t-shirt in her hands. It looks like she had been in the middle of getting dressed when something caught her attention. Beca follows Chloe’s line of sight and sighs, while she leans against the doorframe. Chloe is brought out of her stare and shoots Beca a sad smile while she pulls the shirt over her head.

“He always takes that off when he’s here.” Chloe motioned towards the bedside table. There, next to his wallet and his cellphone, lies his wedding ring. “After he’s done washing my scent from his body, he puts it back on like nothing happened.” Chloe then proceeds to put on some shorts and looks at Beca. “Tell me what you’re thinking?” Beca clears her throat.

“I mean, it’s…” Beca needs some time to think about her words. “It’s nice of him to take it off for you, I guess?” Chloe shoots Beca a surprised look. 

“You don’t have to do that.”

“What?”

“Sugarcoat it. Tell me what you’re really thinking about. Please. I need to hear it.”

“Well…” Beca starts uncertain, “I think you’re right about him washing your scent of his body. That’s probably why he always wants to shower here.” Chloe nods in understanding. 

“Also, you and I both know what the next couple of days or even weeks are going to be like. He’s not going to answer your calls, he will not text you back. He has probably already erased all your texts and deleted his call log. He is going to disappear from your life and go back to her.” 

“He’s never going to choose me, is he?” she sighs, “Nobody ever does.”

Just as Beca wants to ask her what she means by that, they hear the bathroom door open. Chloe looks at Beca with a sad smile as Beca walks backwards to her room and closes the door. She doesn’t put on the headphones this time. She hears Chloe snap back into her bubbly self and say goodbye to ‘Skip’. 

===

Can you live with that knowledge? Can you live with that thought?

Babe, you know that this is not the real deal

What do you want to be? Someone's lover or his biggest secret? Will you set yourself free? Or will you choose someone who’ll always be there when you need it?

Ask yourself, even if you’re hurt; Aren’t you worth a lot more than just the lipstick on his shirt?

I see your lipstick on his collar, babe but you are worth so much more than that I see it on his collar, babe but you are worth so much more than that

I see it on his collar, yet you are worth way more than that

maybe I could be the key because you mean so much more to me

===

Beca rubs her eyes as they’ve gotten a little watery and blows out a puff of air. She takes a moment to compose herself, putting down her guitar and taking a sip of water. She had really been pouring her heart out in this song. She’s glad she thought of recording herself on her phone when she started playing with the melody.

A quiet sniff behind her catches her attention and she jerks her head around, startled by the sudden interruption. She feels her cheeks flush as she realizes Chloe probably overheard at least part of the song. “Chlo…” she starts but can’t really think of anything else to say, panic set in. 

Chloe sees tears well up in Beca’s eyes as she wipes away her own and rushes to sit down on the bed next to her. She takes Beca’s hands into her own and sees Beca is actively trying to avoid eye contact. Chloe knows exactly what that means, so she scoots closer to pull Beca into a hug. She holds on a little longer, squeezes her a bit tighter until she feels Beca relax in her arms.

When they both pull back, Chloe looks at Beca with a soft smile. “Thank you”, she speaks the words softly, not really trusting her voice to work with all the emotion she’s feeling. She wipes another tear from her face and lets out a watery laugh at Beca’s puzzled expression. “For the beautiful song, I mean. It’s about me, isn’t it?”

Beca hesitates for a moment but then decides this is her chance to put it all on the table, “ehm, yeah… it is. Chlo, I just…” she struggles to find the words to explain how she’s feeling, but as per usual, Chloe reads her like an open book. 

“I know, Becs.” 

She looks up at Chloe and finds she’s already looking at her. Chloe uses her thumb to wipe the last of Beca’s tears away and keeps her hands on each side of her face. As they look into each other's eyes, Beca feels the air shift around them. “Yeah?” 

“mhmm, I heard you.” Chloe hopes Beca understands she means she didn’t just hear the song but understood what her best friend was trying to tell her. She can tell Beca is nervous so she decides to not drag this moment out any longer. With a quick mental prayer, she didn’t read the situation completely wrong, she closes the distance between them. 

Beca sighs into the kiss. Kissing Chloe feels even better than she imagined it would. She feels Chloe smile against her lips and thinks (hopes) she might be feeling the same way.  Suddenly, Beca feels like she can’t breathe and so she pulls back. Chloe looks at her a little surprised and Beca immediately wants to apologize. “I’m sorry. I… Shit, did I fuck this up already?” Chloe takes Beca's hands again and gives her a quick peck on the lips. 

“Nope, don’t worry. What happened?” 

“I don’t know. I’m just a little overwhelmed, I guess. I couldn’t breathe for a moment.”

Chloe smirks at her, “Did I take your breath away, babe?” 

“Oh my god”, Beca laughs and she feels herself relax again.

“So…” Beca starts, “would you, maybe… want to go on a date with me sometime?” 

“I’d really like that, Becs.” Chloe says with a soft smile on her face. 

Chloe stands up from the bed and pulls Beca up. She doesn’t let go of Beca’s hand as they walk towards the kitchen together. As Beca heads for the fridge, Chloe leans over the counter and pulls out her phone. Beca takes two steps back and stands next to her. “What are you doing?” she curiously asks her. 

“I’m texting ‘Skip’ ”, she says with a wink. Beca smiles hearing Chloe use the stupid nickname. She gives Chloe some space to compose her text and busies herself in the kitchen. “Can you come here a sec?” Chloe asks her after a moment. Beca turns around and stands next to Chloe, looking at her expectantly.

“What’s up?” 

“I want you to see this,” Chloe says mysteriously. Beca raises an eyebrow and puts her chin on Chloe’s shoulder to see her phone. She sees her open the contact info for Chicago , clicks on ‘block this caller’ and then proceeds to ‘delete contact’. Chloe puts her phone down on the counter and turns to look at Beca with a sad smile on her face. “I’m really sorry about, you know… everything.” Beca hums in understanding. 

“I really don’t know what I was thinking. No, honestly, I do know… The thing is, I’ve been in love with you for so long, Beca. And I didn’t think you felt the same way, so I just… I don’t know, tried to move on, I guess? I didn’t really go about it the right w…” Chloe’s ramble gets cut off by a sudden kiss and she sighs in relief.

Pulling back, she playfully bites her lip and looks at Beca. “I’m so in love with you, Beca Mitchell. It’s always been you.”

Beca pulls Chloe into a hug and holds her for a moment. When she pulls back she pecks her lips one more time and walks back to the fridge. As she pulls it open she looks back at Chloe and asks: “ice cream and beer?”

Chloe shakes her head. “How about dinner and wine?”

[piracytheorist]

A Kiss for Good Luck (8/15)

Summary: So this is the story of one born lucky, and one born unlucky. Fate will keep making them cross paths, but is it to bring them together, or to test them? Captain Swan AU.

A/N: This will hurt. I am sorry.

Rating: T (make sure you’re okay with the warnings on AO3) Warnings: This chapter contains character death, some depictions of violence, depictions of poor and unhealthy coping mechanisms, as well as a toxic relationship. Any intercourse and physical touch in general is fully consensual, but emotionally the relationship may appear upsetting to some. Also there are some elements that may resemble emotional self-harm.

Word count for this chapter: 4k (48k in total) AO3

Read from the beginning: Tumblr | AO3

~

Chapter 8: Killian Jones, October 19th 2011 – October 24th 2015

The kiss is deeper than he expected. Killian pushes the woman back, but gently. He was the one who gave her permission to kiss him, after all.

"I thought it would be a quick kiss. I have a girlfriend."

Her brows are going wild. "Shit. Sorry."

He's so stupid. What would Milah think? "'Salright. Go pee."

"Yes. That,” she slurs. “Thank you again."

Just as the woman closes the bathroom door behind her, Milah appears above him.

“You okay?” she says.

He looks at her confused, before he realizes it's not that normal to sit on the floor while at a club. “Yeah,” he says. “Just very, very drunk.”

She gives him her hand, he takes it, then she starts pulling at him. “Let's go outside for some air. There's too much smoke in here.”

“I wanna pee!”

She drags him up. “You can pee outside! Let's go!”

It feels better outside. The cool, clean air wakes him up a bit.

Milah throws her arms around Killian's neck and pulls him to lean his forehead on hers. He smells the martini in her breath, landing hot against his lips.

He closes his eyes. He could stay like this forever, and how he wishes this moment lasted that long...

“How sweet,” a sharp voice says from the side.

They turn together to see Gold staring at them, his hands crossed on the handle of his cane. There's two big guys flanking him, and Killian pulls Milah aside, stepping in front of her.

“What do you want?” Killian says.

“I did wait,” Gold says. “I held back, let you take my wife away from me.”

“Shut up,” Milah says, moving to Killian's side. “Our marriage was over long before I met Killian.”

Gold looks at her, hand grabbing the cane hard.

“You... you followed us here?” Milah says, suddenly realizing. “What the hell? Where's Jack?”

“You have no right to ask about him,” Gold says and takes a brisk step forward. “You went against my conditions for meeting him. You brought that bastard with you!”

Milah flinches, and Killian's left hand grabs onto hers.

“And you?” Gold looks at him. “Going behind my back to take my son on your side? Trying to buy his love?” His face seems to barely contain his rage as he reaches into his jacket and pulls out a handgun.

Killian's hand squeezes Milah's as his other one raises up in defense. “Whoa, Gold, wait-”

Gold shoots.

Though Killian’s ears are ringing from the exploding sound, he hears Milah's trembling sigh. It feels like it's hours later that he turns to look at her, eyes going straight for the growing red spot on her chest.

And then she's falling.

“No,” he whispers and holds her, gently breaking her fall.

Her eyes are moving wildly, then she coughs and a thin trail of blood runs from the corner of her lips.

“No, no. Milah...”

She focuses on him. “I love you,” she whispers. She gasps one last time, then she's limp in his arms.

It's like even more hours pass. He feels her hot blood staining his hands.

Her eyes are closed. She's not breathing. Only her blood moves, dripping out of her body even though her heart has stopped beating.

“No,” he says.

He hears the tapping sound of a cane, and he looks up to see Gold standing above him, gun aimed at him. His henchmen also aim their handguns at him.

“What are you waiting for?” Killian says. “Finish it.”

What else can he say? It's not as if he'd leave him to tell the tale.

“Oh, no. You won't be so lucky,” Gold says, but he doesn't move.

Killian manages to hold himself back only long enough to set Milah down gently, then he lunges at Gold, grabbing the gun.

It all happens in half a second.

Gold shoots, Killian's ears are ringing again, and he sees two fingers fly off in a sudden fountain of blood.

He drops down to his knees. His left hand hangs limp in a way no hand should. The thumb and index finger are missing, and there's a gaping crescent hole, starting under his middle finger and reaching to the middle of his wrist.

The pain hits him suddenly and a scream erupts from his throat.

His vision comes and goes; one moment Gold is standing above him, the next Killian is leaning over Milah, the blood spilling from his hand onto her unmoving body.

There's more people screaming; people shouting; sirens, blue and red lights...

Then white. So much white.

Killian is just three days younger of twenty-eight when he once again thinks how he's cursed.

Milah is dead, there is no doubt about that. His hand was amputated, and he has to spend a whole week in the hospital before the doctors clear him for a transatlantic flight.

In the meantime he learns that Milah's body was sent back to England, per Gold's request.

At first, he finds it impossible; but the cops who'd questioned him about the assault soon inform him that Gold has solid alibi in London at the time of the murder.

Killian almost shuts down in the week he has to spend in there; Gold must have stolen Killian's phone before fleeing the scene of the crime, and Killian has no way of contacting Nemo, and he didn't let him know the specifics of his trip in the first place, like when exactly his return trip would’ve been.

If Nemo had known, he would have worried after not getting any news from Killian the day he was supposed to return. He would have contacted hospitals, would have found out about the assault. Probably would even honor Killian's request to attend Milah's funeral in his place, if Killian had the guts to actually ask him for that.

And to top it all, Nemo's phone at home is out of order. Why didn't he ever bother memorizing his cell phone? Now all Killian can do is lie in his hospital bed and do his damnedest to avoid looking at where his left hand is no more.

The blasted week goes by; Killian spends the rest of his savings into a new return trip, the only one he can afford has two stops in between.

He's dead tired, hungry, with fresh dog crap under his sole, and somehow he's not surprised to see his apartment has flooded.

It's three in the morning and he contemplates walking through the ankle-deep water anyway and collapsing in his bed.

He stands so long in front of the open door of his apartment that eventually the downstairs neighbor comes to complain about water dripping into his place.

One call to the fire department later, Killian picks up his two bags – he didn't have the heart to throw Milah's stuff away – and takes a taxi to Nemo's place.

Nemo obviously got out of bed to let Killian in, and of course, he asks Killian what happened.

It's like he's seventeen again, unable to react to one of the most life-changing news he ever received, only the opposite, in the most grim way that he never dared imagine.

He's hiding his handless arm inside his jacket pocket and silently walks the stairs up to his old bedroom. He doesn't answer Nemo's questions next morning, he doesn't even sit down to get breakfast. He goes straight to the lawyer Milah had during her divorce.

Gold is paying people to give false testimony, and Killian is gonna take him down.

Too consumed in his own hatred for the man, the whole week he spent planning his comeback he didn't think of the problems the lawyer is listing now; Killian was drunk – as evidenced by hospital records – enough for his testimony to be considered debatable; he also has motive to want to get back at Gold, stronger than Gold's motive to kill his unfaithful wife three whole years post their divorce which concluded in his favour; and of course, one has to prove first that Gold's witnesses are lying before questioning Gold's alibi of more than five thousand kilometers away from the scene of the crime.

Killian doesn't return to Nemo's place. His own apartment stinks, damp and moldy, half of his furniture and appliances were ruined, but at least his bed is functioning, and he can't deal with Nemo's sympathy right now.

He needs to take Gold down. He can't have any more distractions.

It takes him a month to remember his therapist. He checks his emails for the first time since the assault, and he feels he loses another part of him at the news of his therapist moving towns to study for a doctorate; she's suggested other therapists at him, followed by two more emails of asking if everything is okay, then nothing.

Killian looks at the names and phones of the suggested therapists as if they're threats to his consciousness. He actually laughs. Dr. Eriksen had him since before he was even an adult and she knew everything about his fucked-up adolescence. Where would he even begin with someone new?

He deletes the email.

For two years, his whole life centers around finding weak spots in Gold's armour. He quits from Shakespeare's boat rental and works at stock in the harbor. It's a tough, time-consuming job, but it keeps him in view of the sea and gets his mind off his pain. Alcohol takes over that job in his time off.

He stops drawing; Milah used to draw with him and it nearly breaks him to pick up a pencil to sketch. The last thing he sketches is the design for the tattoo with her name on it that is soon permanently inked on his arm.

Two years of trying, as much as his exhausted psyche and a mind always leaning towards booze can handle, and the best he manages is to break into Gold's house, hack through his computer and locate some suspicious activity between Gold's bank account and the one of one of his witnesses.

Thirteen years of no spots in his criminal record mean nothing to the law when there are spots in it in the first place, and he's arrested for breaking and entering.

Nemo responds to Killian's call to bail him out, even though Killian has barely spoken to him in two years. However, the disappointment is, for the first time since Killian met him, visible on his face.

“It's your decision,” Nemo tells him after Killian is out. “Your path to choose, and your life to ruin.”

If it were anyone else, Killian would be flipping him off. But Nemo is the one who took Killian in as an assortment of broken pieces and put him back together, loving and patient all throughout. The one who has always been too good to be called a mere father.

“It's not just wanting to get back at that bastard,” Killian says, nearly shouting. At Nemo's small flinch, Killian breathes in and out. Among all his losses, it's the first one that has filled him with such rage. “That monster killed her in cold blood. And he's out there now, not paying for his crime-”

His voice is too unsteady now to accommodate shouting.

“It's not just personal. He killed her-” A soft sob breaks his sentence in half. “-and he's walking free.”

“The world is not fair,” Nemo says in a very soft voice, hand resting on Killian's shoulder. “Come home, son. This isn't what you need right now.”

“No. I need to see him behind bars.”

“You need to grieve.”

Killian scoffs, laughing mirthlessly. “It's been two years.”

“Exactly.”

He drops his gaze. If he looks at Nemo's face right now, he may crumble, and his efforts of two years – albeit not very successful – will be rendered pointless. The time he lost, the damage he's done to himself, to his relationships with everyone, Nemo, Shakespeare, Will and Tink, it will all be for nothing.

And worst of all, he'll be yet another one who will do Milah wrong. If he gives up, he'll be doing to her nothing better than what Gold did, and the very thought sickens him.

There's only one thing he changes. His drinking has reached new levels, and he needs, if nothing else, to survive in order to bring Gold down. So for now, AA meetings are something.

At first, he only talks about how he manages to stay clean, how he slips and how he tries to not beat himself up over it. His fifth meeting is on a particularly bad day; the story of watching the love of his life die slips from him, and across the circle he gets looks of pity that he hates.

If only he told everyone about the furious thoughts for revenge on Milah's murderer that have been plaguing his every waking thought for the past two years.

He slumps in his seat and stays silent for the rest of the meeting. He shouldn't have come today, he should have known he would be too emotional to think rationally before speaking.

The meeting ends and he's already made up his mind to look into other AA groups before he even exits the building.

“Excuse me,” a voice calls at him.

He turns. It's Eloise Gardener, one of the attendees.

“On the last meeting you mentioned that mental activities keep your thoughts away,” she says.

“Yeah?”

“I'm hosting gardening classes, two evenings a week at the Bare Feet Greenhouse. I thought I could invite you to join, they're already quite cheap and I'll give you a discount.”

“Your name is Gardener, innit?”

She smiles. “And I am a gardener. Shocking, I know. But I've found it's a good distraction, especially knowing you're taking care of a life. You get the satisfaction without committing to... raising a child, let's say.”

Killian decides it's worth a try; unlike the AA meetings, raising a plant actually has visible proof of progress.

He stops coming to the meetings, but Eloise doesn't ask him why. She teaches him and guides him through providing a good environment for his plants.

One night after class, she helps him move the pots with his grown plants to his apartment. He doesn't truly invite her in, and when she initiates a kiss with him, he takes a few seconds of thinking before he realizes he doesn't mind that much.

It's just fuck, and Eloise doesn't seem to be thinking it's anything deeper than he does.

If he thinks it's any deeper, he'll just be haunted again by that miserable thought, that the last person he kissed before Milah died was not Milah herself, but a random stranger whose face he wasn't even sober enough to remember.

Eloise leaves and within minutes, he's left as well to search for any open store that sells booze. Rain is pouring down, cars splash him until he's soaking wet, but he finally gives up when he trips and falls, his leg hurting too much to take him too much further.

Even the couple of hours he stays in the hospital while they put a walking cast on him feel unbearable. Two years have gone by and the memories of hospital misery are still too raw.

Eloise doesn't comment on the cast nor his continued absence from the AA meetings. She invites him to her place and after they have sex he asks if he can stay the night. That way it's much easier to avoid looking for a drink to deal with how disgusted he feels.

Even the other people attending the gardening lessons wouldn't imagine Eloise and Killian are sleeping together – and Killian is attending two different classes side by side. Not that there's anything to show for it. They just fuck, sleep in the same bed, and that's all. She keeps him from running out for a drink in the middle of the night, better than any AA meeting managed, he gives her a person to have control over the way she wants, and they scratch each other's itches.

Nemo keeps trying to stay in touch with him, and Killian nearly blocks his number out of pure shame. Perhaps if Nemo realizes he's been blocked he'll stop bothering.

Killian has practically moved in with Eloise now, or she with him; in any case, they'll sleep in the same bed every night, whether it's the one in Killian's apartment or the one in Eloise's house.

He cannot connect who he was before with who he is with Eloise now. Before Nemo even adopted him officially, Killian had allowed him to pick up his pieces and make him a functional human. With Milah, it was Killian who was the whole, the rock she could lean on.

With Eloise, he can once again be broken, but without any expectation to get fixed back up – and he's too tired for unrealistic expectations. He can stay the mess that he is, sharing his body and his space with her so that he can feel something, even when the feeling isn't the best. Eloise is controlling and demanding, and Killian's feelings for her range from fear to disgust, but he prefers those over pain, grief, rage, and a continuously burning thirst.

It's easier to hate his... “partner” than to hate everything else in his life, including himself.

He's actually shocked to realize two years have passed since his first time with Eloise, and nothing at all has changed. Their feelings didn't change towards one way or another; they just kept fucking, sleeping next to each other, and going by their day without thinking about each other.

He almost hates it when she asks him to ride with her to a concert in Maidstone. Not only because she's making ensuring no-one assaults her sound like a chore, but also because he's still not ready to enjoy music he used to love. Especially not in her presence. Being in her company is not a circumstance that fits happy thoughts.

There's a lot of things he's been denying himself since Milah died. Everything that used to make him happy, even the company of his family, feels sullied now.

He doesn't expect to enjoy the concert. But Eloise buys his ticket and drives the car, so he decides that he can tolerate one night of being a boy toy to discourage sleazebags.

It doesn't even feel that special that his birthday is tomorrow; he lost Liam a few days after his fifteenth birthday, and Milah a few days before his twenty-eighth. Maybe it's just not in the cards for him to celebrate it again.

For three whole hours, he forgets everything. There's just the music, and the lights, and his throat getting sore from singing without a care.

There is, of course, the occasional groping, people stepping on his feet, even getting an elbow to the ribs, but for him it's all par of the course now. Including checking his pockets afterwards and realizing that twenty pounds are missing. And Eloise being... well, Eloise.

“You were supposed to stand by my side,” she starts complaining after the concert is over and people start dispersing.

“I can assure you I was touched against my consent far more than you were.”

“Is that supposed to be an excuse?”

Ugh, her arrogant, calm face she makes when she tells him off. He hates it.

“If you wanted an actual bodyguard, you should have hired one. I only have one hand,” he bites back at her.

“Really? I get you a birthday gift and you consider this an appropriate response.” There’s no question mark in her tone.

“Oh, piss off. As if you've given a fuck about my birthday all these years.”

Her lips purse together, but her voice keeps that cool tenor that irritates him to no end. “I wanted to make it a good one for you. Just because you don't care about it doesn't mean no-one else does.”

He sighs. He actually had a good time and he doesn't want it ruined by her gaslighting. He's experienced people actually caring for his birthday, and he knows Eloise's words are just words. Next, she'll say that she contacted Scorpions themselves and asked them to have a concert the day before his birthday.

She shakes her head and goes for the portable toilets. At last, he can have some time on his own. He turns his head away and back to the scene, now completely empty.

No One Like You wasn't exactly the song he liked the most tonight, but it's the one he can't stop humming. He's humming!

Maybe he does owe Eloise a bit. Just a bit.

"Catchy tune, huh?" he hears from the side.

He turns, seeing a woman with a wide smile on her face.

"Oh, which one isn't?" he says, smiling back. "What a night."

The woman nods. "Did you have fun?"

The words pour out of him like vomit. "A lot of people stepped on me, I got groped, pick-pocketed, and I got in a fight with my...” – How should he call her? – “friend, but you know what?" He shrugs. "Bloody worth it."

"Oh.” Her face softens. “Sorry that you were mugged."

"Ah, it was like, twenty quid. I've known better than to carry credit cards where hands can easily reach." A very dedicated hand, maybe. There's only so many hiding spots he has.

"Do you have a ride back home?" the woman says.

He stares at her, and he feels his jaw drop when he realizes. "Bollocks. I overshared, didn't I?"

She just smiles. "I mean, I have a car, and space for two... how many of you are there?"

He scratches behind his ear. "Don't worry. We've got a car. And we going right back to Brighton, anyway."

"Oh.” She seems to think for a moment. “I don't even know where that is."

He holds back a laugh. "Figured so. From your accent."

Her smile widens. "I'm Emma," she says, extending her hand.

"Killian," he gives his hand back, careful to keep his left arm inside his jacket pocket. She's still looking at his face when he drops his hand to his side. "So... you know that they're actually having a few concerts in the States for this tour, right? How come you decided to fly all over to here?"

"Well, today... or more like, yesterday," she pauses as she checks her watch, "was my birthday. This was more like a birthday gift to me, and of course I'm going to see them in-” She pauses suddenly. “What?"

She's obviously cut off by the expression on his face. "You're not kidding? Tomorrow- or, today, is my birthday."

"Wow. Happy birthday, then."

"Happy birthday to you too. Seems it was a great one."

Emma seems happy as she looks back at the now empty stage. "I'd say one of the best ones. Does your birthday seem promising?"

His chest feels twice its normal size when she turns to look at him. Somehow, with their birthdays being so close, it feels as if her having had a great birthday is feeding his own satisfaction for that day, for the first time in four- no, five years.

Some of her slightly messy hair is sticking to her face – she probably went all out dancing tonight – and her eyes seem to droop in drowsiness, but she's absolutely glowing.

Glowing and looking at him.

When she takes a step towards him, it feels like it's gravity that's pulling his own body to her.

"It seems that way, aye," he replies.

Her eyes close when she's a few inches away from him, but he waits for the moment his lips touch hers to close his eyes.

~

(A/N: I want to remind the readers that this chapter is told from Killian's point of view, distorted as it is from grief, rage and isolation from the people he loves. Emotional progress is almost never visible in the short term, especially regarding addictions. Killian might have thought the AA meetings didn't help him, but it doesn't mean that giving up and depending on a controlling person to keep him clean was the healthy thing to do.

I know it's a work of fiction but some lines are easily confused, so the message I want to pass is that if you or a loved one is trying to let go of an addiction, keeping up the effort when progress isn't directly visible may be hard, but it's worth it and will eventually help.)

[sharada-n]

shae, gimme ur l4d2 headcanons, do it do it do it

Guess you forced my hand :( Warning: this gets loooong

Coach:

Loves kids? Like, we know he changed careers because his injury meant he couldn’t play football anymore, but I think in the end he actually liked his new gig better

Has a name but is just more used to being referred to as Coach and also didn’t want to reveal it because he didn’t know how long these idiots would stick around (and by the time they were full found fam it was just funnier not to)

Widower - was married for 20+ years but his wife died a few years before the events of the game. Due to fertility issues they had no children

Suuuuuuper protective of the others? Total dad friend, would always be the first to go back for a fallen comrade. Is friend-shaped

He’s also hug-shaped. Coach gives the best hugs, he’s a real physically affectionate guy, and he will not be stopped

Besides sports, he is also really into (rock) music and board games. Biggest regret about the Apocalypse is he can’t play chess anymore

Also super good at cooking? He’s the designated team cook, give him some corned beef and half a can of baked beans and Coach will make you a delicious feast

Rochelle:

Honestly was better than most people at her job, definitely a bit of a workaholic. Sometimes she has a hard time letting loose

L... lesbean - had several relationships before but wasn’t in one when the Apocalypse started

Definitely knew how to handle a gun already before shit went down. Going to the shooting range was a hobby of hers (perfect way to de-stress). Other hobbies include writing, watching reality television and jogging. She was also definitely in a book club

She is one of those ‘silent anger’ types. She’ll be the first to engage in witty banter or sarcastic jabs, but piss her off for real and it’ll be a deadly storm coming you way and you won’t even hear it coming

She’s definitely the planner of the group. She is down-to-earth and realistic, and also remembers EVERYTHING so the others do occasionally rely on her to keep them in line. Their team doesn’t have a leader, but Rochelle comes closest to serving as one.

Actually sucks at first aid. She has had the fortune of not being in many scrapes or accidents in her life, but it did have the side-effect that Coach had to teach her how to patch herself (or others) up

Her family is not from the area and in fact she has no idea how they’re doing or how to contact them. She’s very worried about them, but knows she won’t ever be able to find them if she’s not alive to do so

Ellis:

As much as he doesn’t want it, he’s the baby of the team. That’s just how it is, he can not change this. He can handle himself just fine but that won’t stop the others from thinking it

Definitely has untreated ad(h)d of some kind? This man is a force of chaotic energy you can not comprehend. His attention span is also all over the place. Has an unhealthy need to be liked by people at all times or he will combust

Knows how to ride a horse, knows how to ride a cow, probably would try to ride a goat if given the chance

Was an only child but was very popular among his friends

Ironically did not know how to shoot a gun before things went down, but played video games and also watched Keith shoot cans sometimes (the sound of the gun is very bothersome for him) and he’s a quick learner

But for this reason, he will always prefer melee. Weapon of choice will be the baseball bat but he’s handy with anything 

Speaking of handiness, as a mechanic Ellis is great at fixing up shit and the others are internally grateful he’ll keep the electricity running. Thanks to Keith and their wild adventures, he’s also great at first aid

Doesn’t know where his parents where when the outbreak happened and frankly doesn’t really care

Nick:

Convicted felon, conman, and known crook. Served a grand total of six months in the slammer, but he doesn’t talk about it. Absolutely has killed before but gotten away with it

Had a bad childhood, bad family, joined gangs at an early age. He dabbled mostly in petty theft and vandalism before upgrading to actual organized crime, but went solo because he doesn’t like people

Trust issues central. Partly because of the above reasons, partly because he’s just a pessimist and doesn’t believe people will stand for anything but themselves when the world ends. He takes the longest to warm up to the others

After he does, he’s definitely ride or die though. They all have each others backs, but Nick is the only one who would gladly shank a guy for even looking at his team funny

Likes gambling but often loses money when he’s not cheating. His less detrimental hobbies are visiting bars, traveling and sailing. He’s a boat boy and knows how to operate one

Rich through unsavory means, Nick has expensive tastes and his biggest adjustment about the Apocalypse is the lower living standard. Hates the lack of toilet paper and will not shut up about it

Germaphobe. Hates gross things, hates gross smells, hates anything gross except blood (and that’s just because he’s used to it). Pukes pretty easily, all things considered

Married young and stayed with his (ex-)wife for 7 years. He really loved her, she... did not exactly return the sentiment. In the end she cheated and they divorced, but Nick is mostly over it, just bitter

[mae-gi-writes]

Deobi Playlist (EP 2) | The Boyz Imagine

The Boyz x Hospital Playlist inspired drabble series.

Episode 2: in which Hyunjae is a drama queen.

Genre: fluff, friendship, slice of life

EP 1 | EP 2 | EP 3 | EP 4 | EP 5 | EP 6 | EP 7 | EP 8 | EP 9 | EP 10 | EP 11

--------------

Hyunjae is in the middle of playing a battle game when the sound of someone busting the door open causes him to yelp, fingers slipping over the keyboard as he watches his character die in front of his very eyes. 

He swivels around in his seat, glowering with anger, “KEVIN!” 

“Oops,” the said man slides in, totally unfazed by the glare that would’ve killed anyone else off, before looking around at the empty office that is stacked with piles of paperwork, most of them probably belonging to Hyunjae since he had always been messy. 

“Where’s everyone?” Kevin frowns while checking his watch, “I thought we were having dinner tonight.” 

“Too slow, romeo,” a voice chimes from behind. The pair turn around to see Mae holding up three takeaway bags. Kevin squeals in delight, rushing over to throw his arms around her in a hug.

“You are the best,” Kevin singsongs before grabbing one of the bags. Mae tuts at him, “woah wait a minute Kev, that’s not--” 

Too late, for Kevin’s hands have already opened up the box. He stares at the multitudes of shrimp on a bed of fried noodles, and a grimace falls over his face, “ew no, that’s not mine--”

Mae proceeds to snatch it away, “that’s why I told you to wait,” she huffs, handing him his rightful dish; fried pork and vegetables with rice. 

“Wouldn’t mind having him choke on some shrimp,” Hyunjae mutters gloomily, still sulking in his desk chair like a five year old child being denied cookies. Mae’s brow quirks up in curious amusement, before they flicker towards Kevin. 

The latter, already stuffing his face in like he hasn’t eaten for days, mumbles out through a mouthful of rice and meat, “he’s mad ‘cause I distracted him and his character died. The usual.” 

“You always lose, anyway Hyunjae. It wouldn’t have made a difference,” Mae opens up her own takeaway, a Chinese Korean dish named Jajangmyeon. She motions him over, “come on.” 

But Hyunjae’s pout only deepens. He slides into his seat, unwavering.

“You sure you don’t want it?” she taunts him, “I ordered it specially for you.” 

Still, the caramel-haired man twists his head away adamantly. Mae huffs, turning back to roll her eyes at Kevin, “fine then, suit yourself. I’ll just--” 

Hyunjae’s out of his seat in mere milliseconds, grab his dish, and sits down onto the shared couch with crossed legs and face looking as though he’s going to murder anyone who even tries to get within touching distance. 

“By the way, you remember the patient I was telling you guys about?” Kevin says, chewing on a mouthful of food, “the one that had a weird extra bone in her foot?” 

“The one who kept asking you to marry her?” Mae confirms. 

“She mustn't have high standards,” comes Hyunjae’s mumble, causing Kevin to cluck his tongue at him in disapproval before answering, “yeah, we had to shave it off cause she’s a rising ballet star. Her mother was livid when she heard that she wouldn’t be able to dance for a good six months.” 

“Sunji, was it?” Mae asks. 

“She came to see me today,” Kevin beamed, warmth practically alighting over his face, “gave me flowers and a box of chocolate.” 

“Did she give you a ring too?” Hyunjae adds mockingly.

“At least she likes me,” Kevin retorts while sticking out his tongue.

“Please! It’s not like she had a choice. You’re the only doctor she sees.” 

"Just a game, Hyunjae," Kevin reminds him, gesturing towards the computer with a roll of his eyes since he knows exactly why the older man is being salty at this particular moment. 

“Do you know how much time and effort I took into staying alive all that time?!” Hyunjae shoots back, leaning forward in his seat, “It was my fifteenth time!” 

“It. Is. Just. A. Game,” Kevin’s words punch through like staccato notes.

“I care about that game, like it or not!” Hyunjae moans, “now my life is over!” 

“Shakespeare needs to see this,” Mae mumbles behind her bowl of noodles, “he would’ve loved to write a story about you.” 

“I think that’s the greatest compliment you’ve ever given me,” Hyunjae smirks.

“It’s...not a compliment.” 

“I hate you. I hate you both,” Hyunjae sniffs before pouting and looking away, once again the very picture of a spoiled brat. The pair meet each other’s eyes before Kevin throws Mae a shrug. 

“Don’t look at me, I didn’t raise him.” 

-------------

The week, it seems, keeps getting worse for the titled drama queen, who proclaims that the heavens must be against him this week and that his astrological must be definitely off balance. Hyunjae’s shifts seem longer, tougher to handle this week, while the line of patients have suddenly multiplied by a tenfold the moment he thought that he could use a bit of a break. A few nurses have taken some time off for some last-minute vacation, meaning that he’s had to scramble around for help with no assistant by his side to jot down his every day needs. 

Most of all, he still hasn’t been able to finish that damn game, and he has no one else to blame but dear Kevin for that. 

“You look like shit,” is the first thing that pops out of Juyeon’s mouth the moment he stumbles into their shared office. He’s looking particularly dapper, with his freshly cut bangs and his usually hooded eyes alight with a sparkle that can only mean one thing:

“Did you guys kiss or something?” 

Colour blossoms across Juyeon’s cheeks, hooded eyes widening in alarm, “What?” 

Seemingly undisturbed by lack of sensitivity, Hyunjae proceeds to shrug off his beige coat as he opens his locker, “you look like freshly snogged material." 

“I--That’s--That’s not--” Hyunjae can’t help but smirk at the flustered expression on the younger man’s usually bland face. One of his favourite pastimes is to make fun of Juyeon, mainly because he seems so much younger than what he appears to be, for they are only a few months apart in age. Not to forget the fact that he's so innocent, despite his mature, bedroom eyes and the lazy, sensual smile he gives to women. It's, as Hyunjae had once stated, incredibly misleading.

"Want to shadow my surgery?" Hyunjae asks, picking up his clipboard to scan the patient's profile. The younger man stretches out in his seat and yawned, "what kind?" 

"Brain tumor I believe."

"Hm, I might shadow noona--"

"Oh right, loverboy's got a girlfriend now," Hyunjae rolls his eyes and lets out a soft sigh, "ah well, I'll just get one of the newbies on board. I love teasing them."

"They're all scared of you, you know," Juyeon can't help but point out.

"Oh really?" Hyunjae flashes a wicked grin.

Juyeon proceeds to roll his eyes, "that is not a compliment."

"You know, Mae said the exact same thing."

"No surprise there."

A few hours and a long trail of patients later, Hyunjae lets out a loud, noisy sigh when he finally allows his body to flop in his office chair, his feet aching from constantly running back and forth between wards. Mondays are always especially tiring, but he's quite satisfied that most of his patients seem on the track to recovery. 

His hand quickly darts towards his mouse, when his phone suddenly rings. 

Pressing the device to his ear, he murmurs out a quiet, "hello?"

"Son," his mother's terse soprano echoes through the receiver, "how are you?"

"Are you stressed, Ma?" Is the first thing that pops into his mind. There's only two reasons why his mother would call; either 1) she wants to give him food or 2) she has fought with his father yet again. 

It is no secret that Mr. And Mrs. Lee have been living apart for more than seven years now. The scar that Hyunjae still bears is now covered by nonchalance, and the fact that his two parents have kept an amiable relationship has helped balance out his upbringing. He has to admit that for a child with divorced parents, they handled him pretty well.

"Can't I call to ask about my son?!" Mrs.Lee retorts back. 

"Ma."

"Alright alright," she huffs, "I might have made some extra Kimchi stew and--"

"Ma, I told you not to cook so much," Hyunjae groans, one of his hands going up to ruffle his hair, "can't you just freeze it?"

"Freeze Kimchi Stew? Are you insane? I would never! Anyway, I already let the leftovers with--"

Knock knock!

Hyunjae glances back just in time to spot Mae standing in the doorway,  holding out a cooler towards him. 

"Ah," Hyunjae gestures for her to come in, "you met Mae?"

"Right right! Such a wonderful girl that one! Are you sure you've never had anything for her?" 

"Ma--"

"No no, if you're going to tell me that you're just friends, I don't want to hear it."

"Listen Ma, she's--"

"I can't believe you didn't even try it out with her--"

"Hey Ma, I got a surgery soon," Hyunjae hurriedly says while watching Mae stuff the cooler inside the fridge he shares with Juyeon and two other doctors. He holds out a finger for her to wait, "I'll talk to you soon  okay? Okay. Bye."

Cutting off the call right before she's about to keep on insisting how amazing Mae would be as a wife, Hyunjae lets out another trepid sigh before shaking his head at the said woman, who's gazing at him with raised eyebrows. 

"My mother really wants me to go out with you," Hyunjae rubs a hand over his face, clipboard in hand, before following her out into the corridor.

"Yeah I know, she told me the exact same thing when I bumped into her in the lobby," Mae shoves her hands in her pockets, smiling slightly. 

"I mean, if you weren't so much into Kevin, maybe--"

He doesn't get to say anything more because of Mae's hand slamming down atop his mouth. He groans in part pain and part protest, "that hurts!"

"I should've sewn your lips shut when I still had the chance," Mae hissed under her breath, careful to drop her hand and smile as they pass by a group of older doctors. 

"You guys are like turtles. By the time you ask him out, you'll both be dead," Hyunjae mutters loud enough for Mae to hear. 

She scowls back, "last I checked, I was the only one who decided what I could and could not do with my love life."

"You're doing a terrible job of it."

"I am not!"

"Okay, then where are the four children you said you wanted!? That's all you could talk about in college!"

"I was young and stupid, as were you."

"Ah, to be young and in love again--"

"Hyunjae?" 

The pair turn instinctively towards the sound only to fall upon a familiar face, a face that Hyunjae remembers almost instantly as one of the girls who had pined after him for years' on end. He briefly recalls breaking her heart once and for all when she'd decided to give him a box of chocolates during their second year Valentines. 

"Oh," Mae seems to be thinking the same thing as he does, for she doesn't waste time to smile up at him, clap him on the back and say, "see you then!" 

 And she's off, running down the hallway and leaving him to deal with the awkward aftermath of a rejected confession. 

-------------

I honestly just love Hyunjae because he's so loud and annoying and straight up transparent. Surprisingly, I wasn't attracted to his physique as much as I was to his natural genuine personality.

Hope you enjoyed this one! Next Ep will be out on Monday!

Episode 3: in which Juyeon has a complicated relationship with food.

[slutforgoodliterature]

Something Wicked - Part 2

Chapter Two - Dead Poets Society 

Warnings: angst, descriptions of extreme violence, swearing

A/N: thanks for all the love on part one! I had actually finished writing this second part last week but then I accidentally pressed Control-T and the whole thing deleted so... don’t press Control-T basically 🙃

Also, this is what I imagine Natalie to look like! I always like having a visual, ignore this picture if you don’t want her to look this way I guess ahaha (Rose Salazar for anyone who’s wondering)

The drive to the police precinct is super uncomfortable. Spencer’s leg is pressed against mine the whole way, and because I’m stuck in the middle there’s nothing I can do to avoid it. He seems like he’s trying to position himself as far from me as possible as well, but the freaking spider has too-long legs that barely fit in the back of this SUV.

When we arrive, Immediately  put as much space between him and I as possible and seek out Chief Willoughby.

“Hi, Natalie Hart, public liaison for the Behavioural Analysis Unit. This is my…” I sense Spencer hovering over my shoulder, “colleague, Special Agent Spencer Reid.” I hold out my hand for the chief of police to shake.

He ignores my hand and instead scans me head to toe, staying silent.

“We’re here to assist you with the recent string of home invasions and murders?” I raise a brow at him.

Willoughby huffs. “Well, I can tell you it wasn’t my choice to get you guys to come on down here, but my second in command seems to have a lot of faith in your mind-reading mumbo jumbo.”

I drop my hand. This will be fun.

“Actually, Chief Willoughby, the job of the BAU is not to do any mind reading. We instead study cues and behaviour and use these skills in situations such as these to give insight into the people who commit these crimes. From there, we create a profile that aids your people to narrow down a suspect pool-“

Spencer is cut off by an aggressive cough from Willoughby.

“Yes okay, okay. It’s good you’re here. I got one of the officers to clear out an office for you, just that door there.” He points and we start to head over. Before I shut the door behind us, I look back at him and give him my best glare.

“I can only help as much as you let me, Chief. We want to stop this just as much as you do.” He stares back at me, eyes narrowed. “Don’t let your ego get in the way.” He nods once and turns on his heel.

“What did you say to him?” Spencer asks as I enter the office. He’s already got a map tacked to the wall and is circling specific points, I’m assuming where the murders happened.

“Does it matter?” I sigh, already at my wits end from dealing with one asshole. I don’t need another one on my back.

“We need to be courteous to these people, Natalie. If they ask us to leave because you snapped at him, then-“ He begins to berate me but I whirl around and point a finger up at him, seeing as he’s at least a head taller than me.

“Thanks for the lecture, John Lennon. Funnily enough, as a public liaison, I know how to deal with people. He needed to know we would take it seriously, and men like him never respect women who don’t stand up for themselves.” His eyes widen as I almost yell at him.

Before he can respond, the ringing of a phone breaks us out of our glaring contest. He picks it up quickly and exchanges a few words with whoever is on the other end before finally saying “We’ll be there in 10.”

He avoids my eyes and slings his back over his shoulder. “There’s been another family discovered. Same killer, Hotch wants us there ASAP.”

I nod wordlessly.

The second we arrive, journalists and TV crews flock the car.

“I’ll deal with them, meet you inside in a minute.” I wave Spencer off.

“You sure you can-“ he starts but I cut him off.

“Stop doubting me for one second and get your ass inside before I become your next unsub.” I smile sweetly at him, but he must see the rage in my eyes because he hurries away.

As the press clamours for information, I stand stoically in front of the cameras and answer their questions in the limited way I can.

“Yes, the FBI is here to assist in the investigation into the current string of murders. Yes, we are doing all we can to apprehend whoever is behind this. No, I will not be discussing the details of the case.”

One question in particular catches me off guard.

“Can you comment on the rumour he’s leaving written messages at the crime scene?” I search the crowd for whoever said that, but whoever did has faded into the crowd.

“As I said, I will not be discussing the case. Nothing more to be said at this point in time.” I turn on my heels, ignoring the yelling behind me, and disappear into the house.

I find the others in the living room and I’m confronted by blood. So much blood. The bodies of the family are strewn across the floor. I balk and cover my mouth in a fist, knowing I’d let out and embarrassing sound. I turn to face the doorway, avoiding the gore.

On the wall across from me are bright red words that send a chill down my spine.

Written in blood reads: I will drain him dry as hay

“You handled the press well. Hotch was impressed.” Rossi sneaks up behind me and I jump slightly at the sudden voice.

“Just doing my job.” I mutter. He pats me on the shoulder knowingly and turns back to the group.

I tune out their conversation as they discuss the bodies before them. I don’t need those images in my head. The bodies haphazardly covered by sheets is enough for me.

“The quote is another one from Shakespeare. Same play as the last one.” Spencer states, studying the wall.

“Yeah, Macbeth. Like Natalie said.” Emily smiled at me warmly. Spencer swallows thickly and shoots me a short, cold look.

“Exactly. Both quotes are actually from the three witches, who basically curse Macbeth for becoming so power hungry. In fact, Macbeth himself is the ‘something wicked’ that the first quote references.” He continues.

“So the unsub is attacking people he thinks are power hungry and successful?” Derek asks the room.

“I think that’s highly likely. So far, all the victims have been relatively wealthy families.” Hotch says without emotion.

“But if the unsub is targeting the man of the house, how come they’re the only ones that aren’t beaten.” Emily says. “They seem to get the most merciful death. The mothers, on the other hand…” everyone turns to look at the brutalised woman on the ground.

“In the play, Lady Macbeth is actually seen as the one controlling Macbeth and pushing him to be so ruthless.” I add quietly. Every head swivels to me.

“That’s a good point Natalie.” Hotch nods thoughtfully. Spencer even looks impressed with my observation. “The unsub might be targeting the women he believes are pushing their husbands to be successful.”

“Maybe a wife of his own left him because he didn’t achieve her standards? That could be the motive.” Derek says.

“And a stressor.” Emily sighs.

“So what, we just search up every guy in Memphis who’s recently been through a divorce?” Rossi scoffs. “That’ll take days. We need to narrow it down more.”

“Shakespeare seems to have a significant meaning to this unsub. I suggest we take that into account.” Spencer offers and I find myself nodding in agreement.

Derek pulls out a phone and dials quickly.

“You’ve reached the goddess of all things tech. How can I help you?” Garcia’s voice crackles through the speaker.

“Babygirl, we need a list of all antique book dealers and shops that sell old books. Pay special attention to those that deal a lot with Shakespeare.” Derek instructs. The sound of rapid typing then a beep follows.

“Ok, I’ve got around 78 bookstores and dealers that match that description. Anyway I can narrow that down for you?”

“Look at the men who have recently gone through divorce or have fallen on financial problems recently.” Rossi says into the phone.

More typing, then: “Ok, I’ve got three. A Joel Macpherson who runs an antique bookshop, Carl Thompson who specialises in  selling first-edition Shakespeare and to complete this triad of potential mass murders is Leopold van der Fell. His shop is on the other side of town and he runs a book club that exclusively reads Shakespeare."

“Send us the addresses please, baby girl.” Derek says and Garcia scoffs.

“Oh, yee have little faith. They’re already on your phones.” On more thank you and Hotch scans us.

“Rossi, you and Derek speak to Joel Macpherson. Reid, take Natalie and see Leopold. Emily and I will visit Carl Thompson.” Without a second word, everyone begins filing out of the room and into their respective cars.

Spencer looks at me and sighs. “Let’s get this over with.”

I roll my eyes and make my way to the car, hopping into the drivers seat.

“You sure you’re okay to drive?” Spencer asks as he gets in the passenger side.

“My god! Can I not do anything without you questioning me?” I cry, turning in my seat to face him. He stares at his hands.

“I meant that seeing that inside probably shook you up. I don’t want you driving if your head is elsewhere.”

I’m taken aback by his thoughtfulness. I swallow loudly and put the car in park, backing out of the driveway.

“I could use the distraction.” I answer after a stretch of silence.

I see him nod out of the corner of my eyes. “Okay, I get it.”

I allow myself to relax in my seat. “Thanks.” I mutter.

“But if you crash because you’re distracted, don’t say I didn’t want you.” He adds.

“There’s the asshole I know and love.” I turn the radio on and drown out his response. “Now, shut up and give me directions.”

[allie1804-fan]

Please Assist Me

So this is a new fic. I’ve not fully worked out where it’s taking me so watch this space. I’ve written quite a bit so let’s see how anyone likes the first little bit!

Chapter 1

He said

She was the third person we’d seen that morning. Cheryl was with me. I knew I could rely on her instincts to sniff out anyone the agency had sent who was likely to spell trouble. Of course, the agency promised to screen people so you didn’t get a nutter or an under-cover journo applying but Cheryl didn’t have total faith in their skills.

The first two had basically proved her right, being far more interested in looking round my house, asking who I might have visiting or unsubtly trying to see what freebies there might be than in finding out what the job really entailed. I was about to embark on my second directing project and I had an acting part too, so knew I was going to be all in as usual. That dedication to work would mean taking care of daily life would fall by the wayside.  I’d need someone to take care of travel arrangements if I was needed out of town, there would be some bills to pay, grocery shopping and all the other day to day crap like being around for deliveries or letting a plumber in or making sure birthday cards were sent. I didn’t say so but basically I was after an old style wife but without the relationship! I also needed to keep a certain amount of control, a small chink of ‘real’ if you will. So, if it was my sister’s birthday, I’d choose the gift and write the card but maybe I could use some help finding options to choose from given how busy I would be on set.

Sophia was the first of the interviewees who seemed to grasp the importance of this aspect to me and she asked good questions about the practicalities of me being involved where necessary. She was also the only one who seemed like she knew her way around a kitchen and one of my needs was going to be a little food preparation every now and again especially as I needed to watch my diet to keep in shape for the demands of the role.

After 2 more, frankly useless candidates were seen and ruled out, we both agreed that Sophia was the one. She wouldn’t be able to travel with me on shoots or promotional tours as she had 2 small children, but my main needs were going to be at home for the foreseeable future and things like buying a gift or a card for someone could be managed at a distance with modern technology and planning. A week after the interview, Sophia came over again for an induction session.

It took me a moment to invite her in – I was kind of stunned as I looked at her – I don’t think I’d really taken in how attractive she was at the interview,  being focussed on the interviewing task and making sure I was asking each interviewee exactly the same questions in order to be fair. That morning she was like a sunflower, clad in a bright yellow, sleeveless sundress. Her long brown hair was up in a practical ponytail and the dress contrasted beautifully with her tanned arms and legs, highlighting her Latin American heritage.

She followed me down the hallway to the kitchen, clutching a notebook which she’d brought to make notes on the tasks. By the end of our session, I felt in safe hands and she left with everything she needed to be my personal assistant starting with a one month trial period.

She said

My first real life encounter with Keanu was when I had an interview for the role of personal assistant. I hadn’t ever done a role like this having only recently signed on with a job agency after my divorce from Javier. Before that I had been a housewife and mum to our 2 kids Eva, who is 7 and Miguel who is 5.  Back before the kids were born, I had done a little modelling and in between jobs had done some “runner” jobs working on sets with A list actors. That experience, and my general organisational skills and domestic experience had identified me as someone suited to this role.

Of course, I’d seen Keanu on the silver screen like anybody else in all those big roles which made it all the more surreal to be heading up into the Birds streets for the interview with him and his PR lady Cheryl at his house no less.

Cheryl was charming but also quite formidable, giving me the impression that she’d kick the ass of anyone who messed with her client! Keanu himself was all charm but kind of shy and bumbling as he tried to explain the slightly unusual mix of mundane and personal tasks he was going to want help with.

The mundane were things like making sure his Koi carp were fed, that the pool guy, cleaner and gardener were  let in on the right days, getting his dry cleaning and some grocery shopping done. The personal was basically, as I saw it, the things a wife or partner would help a man like him do If he had one  - he wanted to make sure birthday cards and gifts were bought for his close friends and family but he would play a role in choosing them. He just needed someone to narrow down the options, make the actual purchase and wrap the gift. If he could, he’d deliver it in person but if he couldn’t do that, at the very least he’d write out a personal message himself.  

There would be some advanced planning to make sure all that happened on time as he’d soon be on set for long days on his next project. I suggested that I’d need to come over on a Saturday sometimes to  make sure he could add those personal touches.  

The job was basically perfect for me as I would be able to get everything done while the kids were in school and kindergarten. He didn’t expect me to travel when he did  - he could use hotel services when away and declared himself not so pampered or busy that he couldn’t organise some basic stuff for himself while he was away. He also had a place in New York so, if he had to go there , he had a home base. His main concern was that his LA home kept running well and I could handle all of that.

I was thrilled when I got the call that the job was mine and it was with excitement that I made my way back to his home a week later to get a more detailed briefing and start my month’s probation.  

I stood on the doorstep for what felt like a long minute after he opened the door. I had a moment of fear that he’s somehow changed his mind or forgotten our appointment but he eventually shook his head like he was jolting himself out of a day dream and invited me in.

“sorry, sorry, what am I like leaving you standing there! Come, come in!”

I followed him into the house and we headed down the long corridor and into the bright kitchen where we sat at the island and he took me through his diary and my tasks for the month. He gave me an iPad to use with an e mail already set up as KCR_assistant@outlook.com and a credit card I could use for the purchases he needed me to make on his behalf.

He was  starting on set the following week and his sister Kim’s birthday was a couple of weeks away. Since she lived in Italy this would be one of the more challenging gifts to organise. He shared a little about her and took me to his office to proudly show me her picture which was on a wall filled with family portraits.

“This is a test right?” I remember asking.

“nah, nah don’t see it like that ….” He stuttered

“But it’s really important to you right?”  I countered and he nodded, smiling slightly

“yeah, yeah Kim, she ……… she’s very  important to me”

“As she should be” I said. “I promise to get you some great ideas along the lines you want in a day or two so you can pick and we can get it to her on time.”

“Thanks”

I hoped I’d do Kim justice – I really needed to keep this job.

On my first day, I headed up to Keanu’s house after dropping the kids at school and shopping for groceries that had been on the list Keanu had e mailed the night before.

Laundry wasn’t in my remit, but I spotted as I went in through the garage that there was a load in the tumble dryer due to finish soon. Keanu must have forgotten it. I made a note to pop back and fetch it after I’d done some other jobs.

In the kitchen, I put away the supplies and got on with making the elements of a Caesar salad with chicken that Keanu could quickly throw together after work.

Then it was time to start gift hunting for Kim. Keanu was interested in getting her a vintage Italian coffee set and we’d agreed it made sense to source it from Italy. Being a native Spanish speaker, I could muddle my way through Italian websites and I narrowed the choices down to 3 which I            e-mailed to him as well as dropping him a text in case he didn’t check his e mails. He’d said he would have some down time during the day but he wouldn’t be expecting me to share ideas for a day or two.

By then it was 2pm and I needed to head off soon to fetch the kids. I grabbed the laundry and left a pile of t shirts (all Arch branded) and boxers neatly folded on his bed. I hoped he’d appreciate that I’d not left them to grow damp again in the dryer and that he wouldn’t feel weird that I’d touched his undies! If I’m honest it did feel a bit surreal to me to be in his home, dropping him e mails and texts, doing his shopping and folding his undies but I reminded myself that he was just a guy and, really, so far he’d been pretty down to earth in my dealings with him – well apart from the $1000 budget I had for Kim’s gift that is!

 @fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithkeanu @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @keanureevesisbae @penwieldingdreamer @witty-wallflower @paperplanesandwallflowers @bitchyslut99 @ladyreapermc @toomanystoriessolittletime @fanficsrusz @keanuficfiles

[racheljchen]

story vomit

-hong kong runaway idea reality in mental hospital? mr robot perfect blue -blue hour love "i wanna be scary" heart break shaves eyebrows red lipstick black panther for asians space? dreamjng of home story about learning to let go and putting yourself first story about choosing happiness, prolonged misery JYN AND CASSIAN IMMORTALS her fingers ruffled through soft locks of his hair, and her heart swelled. it was too little and too much all at once, after all the years apart, how could she have ever doubted wanting to be by his side again? Now that he was in her arms the certainty seemed to settle into an unshakable truth, that she and he were meant to return to each other, circling each other, standing by the other's side no matter the circumstances of the rest of the foolish world. the girl from before, who only knew of solitude, of running, looking over shoulder at every turned would have thought this new certainty unthinkable. it might have terrified her or disgusted her, but the Jyn of now was a different woman. his eyes caught her transfixed gaze and crinkled with a smile she knew better than her own. no words needed to break the cozy silence for the understanding to pass between them. there was nothing she wanted more than to crush his body to hers, to hold him gently and never let go again but the feeling overwhelmed her and she could only continue to cradle his head in her lap, stroking a finger down the jawline she loved. mine. mine. her heart said, touching a body that was not her own, this skin which would pierce me to be bruised, these bones which would shatter her to be broken. hours later, after many hushed words had passed between them, describing in few short words the many hard years that had passed for each of them, as the sky began to flush lilac with the rising  sun, they broke apart with much hesitance. after several failed attempts on cassian's part to urge her to the fresher for a much needed shower, she finally relented breaking the connecting touch betwen them. jyn couldnt contain the tiniest childish pout. how could she miss holding him within seconds of relinquishing the contact? annoyed at feeling like a childish teenager but still petulant to let go. "go!" urged cassian, his eyes crinkling with a grin, and then, of course how she resist grabbing his smiling face again and kissing those grinning lips. cassians arms could not help but to circle around her waist but of course he was the one with the greater self restraint and he withdrew them after a few moments, pushing her gently towards the fresher door. under the hot satisfying spray Jyn allower herself the luxury of a quick moment to just enjoy the comforts of a life not based on the next meal, next job, and the overhanging urgency of survival, before she got to work scrubbing off the unholy layers of grime on her body. as she lathered suds into her hair, the fresher door clicked open with a soft hiss, and she peered through the fogged shower door at cassian, who of course smiled at her again, and she marveled at the ease of his surrending unlimited smiles for her when he was a man of few smiles for the rest of the universe. and with that her traitorous heart was off again, squeezing with the overwhelming painful joy of having him by her side again. cassian rinsed his toothbrush, finished with brushing his teeth. with a mischievous grin he peeled of his under shirt and dropped his trousers to the floor. steam poured out of the fresher as he slipped in beside her, putting his rough hands on the soft slick skin of her waist. jyn hooked her arms around his neck and tiptoed up to kiss him, soft sweet and slow, and they stood under the spray, feeling each other up like teenagers until suddenly Jyn shrieked. "Ah! Sorry, sorry, the boiler tank is small, I've been wanting to install a bigger one-" Jyn laughed despite the freezing spray erasing her comfortable warmth by the second. "get out you horn dog i still have to rinse out my hair" one of them gets executed but comes back to life cassian? comes back to find jyn and their child // cassian as a fire breathing bar tender modern au where they're divorced drug cartel AU krennic and galen in the cia/dea jyn smuggles or deals arms or something cassian is an undercover DEA agent cassian riding a horse, wearing a cowboy hat, smoking patron notices cassian is into jyn and 'gives' her to him "you're a lucky guy" thats just a nice way to say i want to fuck your girl jyn if you do this i can't protect you ive known these guys my whole life and you think you can get into this game for a couple months and i need you to protect me from them i dont mean from them cassian joserra jerome antonio anglés andrez after they settle down: oh where did you guys meet jyn: tinder // divorced soulmates when they meet jyn can tell its something special. she's been around the block enough to know that this one wasn't for messing around, that they meant too much to each other. cassian tamed her and she brought him to life and his friends were all supportive of course, relieved he had found some joy at last, that he finally had a reason to leave the office without putting in overtime more days of the week than not, a reason for brief smiles to stsrt escaping his serious outward demeanor. all they saw was cassian hiding a smile in a tumblr of mezcal st the bar with them, watching jyn dance with han and kes, twirling around them with smooth confidence as they tried not to trip on their own feet. how could it be anything but good? jyn knows cassian would never hurt her on purpose so she lets herself fall too easily, then slowly her life revolved around him. he occupied her throughts, her space, and she became nothing more than a part of cassian, his wife, as honoured and respectable as the role was she became suffocated with being introduced as his wife, people telling her what a great man her husband was, and she became defined by him, strangers assuming insight of her. when she leaves she finds herself all alone, realising all the friends she had were gifted to her by cassian, and the thought infuriates her. not at cassian, never at cassian, but at her past self for allowing this to happen, blind to painfully learned lessons to always have an escape route in sight, to rely on herself first and foremost. when she leaves, the pain is unbearable. she cries and she cries herself to sleep, and when she wakes up she's temporarily soothed her mind betraying her with the false sense that all the pain was just a bad dream and she would roll over and see cassian there, soft and warm and comforting and ready to hold her close and kiss the nightmare away. but the realisation came quick and she would be sobbing again. in the end it was only her stubborn pride that saved her the indignity of crawling back to him on her knees begging. or maybe it was the stone pit on her stomach that said you did this. you hurt him like this, and for what? how can you deserve to try and salvage what was perfectly good before you picked it up and smashed it on the ground just to see how the splinters would fall? when the fog of misery starts to fade though, she is relieved. even as she sits in her crappy, hole in the wall apartment, eating left over pizza for a undignified amount of times in a month, she is so relieved to be free. even if the AC keeps crapping out and she's sweating in February and bodhi has been the only other person to visit her apartment she is so relieved. her thoughts were her own again and she was so happy she could cry "jyn you will always be my family. you know that right?" she doesn't deserve it cassian walking barefoot in the shore wash at blue hour this pain wasn't unbearable but it was a unique brand of torturous. knowing exactly what she wanted was right in front of her, seeing it, touching it in soft polite embraces that lingered just on the dangerous end of perfunctory hellos and goodbyes. she's already had a taste of exactly everything she wants (not needs, not anymore, and that made the pain tolerable but a new unique brand of torturous), and she couldn't have it. she threw it all away. no regrets could be had, she would have never made it here without giving it up, but it certainly didnt help when they sat on the opposite ends of the friends spanning a bar counter and her attention still strayed from whatever kes was talking about to start at his lips, soft  from worrying at the glass tumbler in his hand, hearing the memory of the laugh she only watched escape from him in real life as it was lost in the din of the bar. "i forgave you for literally tearing my heart apart the first time, but as much of a masochist as i am, I can't give you permission to do it again. so what is it jyn?" "come on jyn. it doesn't take an idiot to see how much we still care about each other" their scars are the only soft and tender part on them, new and innocent skin next to hard won calluses cassian's ex wife meet first time when cassian gets backup for his mission huge sexual tension competence porn celebrating successful mission, cassian shoots his shot she reveals she used to be in intelligence "understand this captain andor. i have a lot of respect for what you do. it's horrid work but it needs to be done. matter of fact i started in intelligence. but the one thing i know, is the kind of person that can stand that line of work, the kind of person i was back then, thats not the kind of people i want to break bread with" she pulls rank on him despite him being older and more experienced. "in my branch you get promoted fast because you die fast" cassian was being pessimistic/realist sbout expected bad outcome but young recruit is horrified more massive sexual tension at a bar or something, she goes outside to make out with some rando guy, cassian follows her and chases him off and kisses her. not nice and tender, hatefuck in an alleyway but it's so hot doesn't see each other again fuck in a tent, fuck in the showers start to bond, see each other's honour and kindess. after a bad mission she's doubting herself, unable to sleep, cassian takes her to a secret vantage point. "sometimes i think i'm a dispicable person" "not to me" he kisses her "what, really here?" where they're in constant threat of being walked in on "no." they just make out and its tender snd loving and it scares her off and she avoids him for a while cassian gets captured and held in solitary confinement for months, mentally tortured, starved. tries to escape, gets punished. gets fucked up in the head. draven and elkie are the only one pushing to find him and break him out.  after cassian is found and returns to base he's a shell of himself, spooked, makes intense eye contact with elkie as he passes her but no aknowledgement of their signifigance to each other. after medical checks he's left alone and starts to panic, but before he freaks out fully, she comes into his room with shaving kit and a peach. she cuts a few slices for him to enjoy because hes not really allowed fruit, talks to him and shaves him as he heals she arranges for him to be put in a room with a chatty old soldier who keeps telling him old war stories, and visits him whenever she back on base. after a particularly bad mission. she crawls into his hospital bed in the middle of the night. after he's discharged, she sleeps with him whenever she can, calming him down after nightmares. one night he knows she's sleep deprived and needing to wake up early for important things the next day and tells her to stop sacrificing her sleep to help him. she's quiet before she asks if he is making her leave. he says no, so she just snuggles up to him. he realizes she prefers being woken up all night to sleeping without him. one say when cassian's feeling like he cant stand being amongst the people on the base in the mess hall, she brings him back to the vantage point to have lunch. they fuck but it's making love. something in between she gets captured and tortured. breaks leg. cassian rescues her. cassian cares for her in the immediate aftermath, she wakes up to him asleep in the hospital chair after he comes back from his own mission back on base, superiors want to send her off base to recuperate and get better PT, she really doesn't want to go, she knows she might never make it back and lose her nerve and her mind. their sleeping in cassian's bed and she admits this. he says there's desk work she can do on base. "married officers get first choice of postings" she's stunned by the insinuation "i need to know you arent whoring yourself out out of some misplaced need to take care of me. just because you slept with me a couple times doesn't mean i'm your responsibility." "i need to know you aren't... offering... out of convenience. just a loophole to help me out" "i'm not. i can't live without you anymore" they get married, she takes his name. captain andor and captain andor she drops off the grid for an extended period of time, she sees him in a crowd and he thinks she's a hostile, tries to take her down but she takes off her mask and goggles she dies in his arms CASSIAN'S LITTLE SISTER/DAUGHTER cassian's 16 she's 8, he saves her and has to babysit her for a while around rogue one she's 18 starting to do field work as an agent cassian as fulcrum is not nice or friendly but mentors her and takes care of her she just starts acting like a friend even though she has no reason to treat him like one bonds with jyn they go to each other when they're concerned about cassian, jyn tells her about a miscarriage, she tells jyn about PTSD she doesn't want to admit to cassian later as peace becomes more viable and cassian less cold and jaded, he starts to act like her family and at first it scares her off a bit she's hostile, says you don't have any right treating me like a child considering how you treated me in the past CASSIAN JYN F1 bodhi jyn both trained by legendary race strategist galen erso (betrays imperial team and orson krennic?) bodhi was trained to to compete and be great, jyn was thrown in and not expected by others to be a real competitor jyn joins f1 with saw gerrera's partisans, low midfield team, strapped for cash bodhi drives with his brain jyn drives with her gut bodhi tells her she can be truly great when she masters melding the thinking and control with her raw talent jyn podiums once and is over the moon but cassian isnt happy for her and she doesnt understand cassian says she doesnt understand racing yet, put herself on the line for revenge, had no way of knowing she was gonna survive her dirty trick and she only won when almost half the field retired calls her hotheaded and not ready cassian was an excellent ruthless driver, would drive dirty to make the win very good (champion?) gets into bad crash (jyn saves him?) and retires, join rebellion as race strategist cassian suggests jyn as new driver leia backs him up jyn helps cassian with his PT and tells him he doesn't have to put on a mask for her and he allows himself to show that he's in pain jyn falls asleep in cassian's hotel room and when he tucks her in she grabs him and they fall asleep together at a party after a good win jyn's tipsy and grabs cassian and starts singing and dancing in his face and cassian is laughing and loving every moment jyn's championship title comes down to the last race she gets a rough bump that physically takes a toll on her she has a good lead but she blows a tire and limps home (krennic gets on the radio somehow to try and break her confidence?) cassian: "do your best, bring her home. i'm right here jyn, I'm with you to the end. I'm not going anywhere" jyn wins a championship and retires she's proved herself after no one thought she would, defeated vader for a season she knows she doesn't have a strong chance of doing it again and wants to make room for luke and han so they don't join imperial F1 STORY young hotshot female driver gets put into falling from glory ferrari with him he used to be eyed as the next great talent but in a shit car he doesn't have any accomplishments to show and is starting to lose the hype and his drive to win she idolizes him, after a race where she does very well for a rookie and he delivers good but not great results, she goes into his driver's room and congratulates him on a good drive out of a need to assert control he fucks her he's trying to massage his own shoulder, she says here let me help, get close, talking, he turns to catch her eye and realises how close they are and kisses her fucks her on the desk, hot and dirty after their lustful scramble he comes back yo his senses and is a bit ashamed of what he's done kisses her on the forehead and leaves, saying see you tomorrow they keep hooking up throughout her rookie season, and spending time together in the public eye, her sweet genuine humorous personality tempers his steely cold and focussed persona and media and fans eat it up, everyone loves them as old gruff dude and young hotshot jokester duo two seasons like that as they grow closer there's a picture of him as a f1 rookie giving 14yo her a trophy forehead kisses become a meme she tells him what he already knows, he needs to jump ship from the team he loves in order to win he signs with a top three team as she continues to get more experience at their old team throughout the season they continue hooking up and hanging out in winter break they spend a lot of time with each other, to the point it seems like they're dating but theyve never discussed it he wins a world championship, realises the only person he wants to celebrate with is her she gets signed to a title contender team next time they hook up he's being a tender and says something commitment related she freezes up "what did you think this is" "yeah of course anyone would jump at the chance to fuck their idols, that doesn't mean their idols would be a good person to settle down with" "did u think i would fall in love with you just because i look up to you? im not some groupie. as if you weren't just taking advantage of me the first time, cheating on your girlfriend. im smart enough to know I'm not special, if you did it to her you certainly have it in you to do it to me" "i think we should stop doing this" breakup, theyre both heartbroken he feels betrayed, thinking the girl he's in love with just used him she doesn't want to admit she really did fall for him he gets signed to the same team as her the whole world is super excited to see their chemistry again but they're super cold, barely together, barely acknowledge each other press conference she blows off the question of whether she's excited to be teammates again he gets into tabloids rumored to be dating hot celebs they have a bad rivalry on the track fighting for positions gets double retirement and other bad things eventually he realises she only pushed him away out of self preservation and she mist have loved him to have done so much and cared for him the way she did he apologizes and asks her to give them a chance she's shocked but she agrees, but she says they shouldnt be together until the season is over cue sexual tension she misses him too much and he comes into her hotel room to get a fright shes in his bed and they cuddle she wins the championship after 5 years of being together and racing, he retires proposes to her, to the shock of the world

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Forty-Seven

Table of Content or Part Forty-Six

Wattpad

Words: 2.6k

Warning(s): Explicit language, mentions of drug abuse

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"...Viv, I can't afford to bail anyone out of jail right now." Doc sighs out sleepily and I roll my jaw.

"Well, none of the guys have enough money either. We're in a bind."

"How'd you even get arrested?" He asks me and I rub my lips together.

"This douche face was being obnoxious and creepy and we had a misunderstanding." I explain.

"Misunderstanding?"

"Okay he got his ass handed to him and security called the cops." I mumble, rolling my eyes.

"Who exactly handed him his ass, Vivian?"

"...A red head..."

"Vivian Sixx--"

"--Um, Axl's locked up, too, it coulda been either one of us!" I defend myself. "If one of the guys called you from jail, you'd bail them out asap." I add.

A moment of silence passes as I pray in my mind that he agrees to something.

"Alright, Viv, alright. I'll handle it." He sighs out.

He hangs up and I put the phone back on the hook as the officer escorts me back to the holding cell Axl, Duff, Izzy, Slash, Steven and Tansy are in.

"What did he say?" Duff asks.

"He's handling it." I say to him.

"Oh, I'm sure." Axl mumbles, his head leaned back against the block wall, sunglasses covering his eyes up. "Must be nice to snap your fingers and get what you want."

"Oh, damn." Stevie says under his breath, knowing this is about to cause an argument.

Slash is busy tying the laces of his boots with Tansy's, Izzy's trying to catch a nap, and Duff is scooting over on the floor so I can sit next to him.

"I get it even faster using 'Sixx'." I don't even deny Axl's accusation and he scoffs.

"Coulda used that card to keep us from getting arrested in the first place."

"No, you could've kept us from getting arrested had you kept your temper together instead of punching the guy." I snap.

"And like you threatening the police officer helped." He shoots back at me.

"I didn't threaten him." I argue.

"You told him you'd break your foot off in his ass." Steven points out, rubbing his tired eyes.

"It was a promise, not a threat, and I wouldn't have said it if he wouldn't have been unnecessarily aggressive." I scoff.

"Yeah, well it got everyone else in trouble for being associated with us. So next time keep your fuckin' mouth shut." He states.

"There won't be a 'next time' because I refuse to be locked in a tiny space with you ever again." I roll my eyes.

There was a "next time" a couple years later.

It was my first time out since having Monroe when a paparazzi so boldly called me a "passaround" and asked me what other bassists I had "sucked and fucked."

Axl and I both went for him without realizing the other person was throwing a punch, and he got double the trouble.

We were deemed "Twin Tornados" after that because apparently were both loud, aggressive, unpredictable, and could make a mess.

Within an hour and a half, it's five in the morning, and Duff is nudging me awake.

"Hmm?" I sit up from laying against his arm.

"I think Doc's here." He tells me, nudging everyone else awake.

Within a few more minutes an officer is stepping to us, unlocking the cell.

Once we get our stuff back and go to the lobby, bitterly glare at Doc...

Nikki's leaned against the counter, leather jacket clad arms are crossed, and I can just feel his hazel eyes looking me up and down from behind his blacked out sunglasses.

I ignore him the best I can, stepping outside, only for Doc to trail behind me as Nikki and the guys make small talk as they walk out after us.

"Viv, I didn't have any other choice." Doc tells me and I turn to face him.

"Vince, Tommy...?" I ask. "They would've come and got us out. You just went to Nikki because you were pissed I inconvenienced you."

"I went to Nikki because once the two of you said 'I do', you promised to take care of each other. He wanted to come make sure you were alright. Regardless of this dumb separation you two have going on, you're still his wife."

"Dumb separation he insisted on." I point out, tears swelling in my eyes.

"Well, he's not exactly singing that song anymore." He tells me lowly and I furrow my brows.

"What?"

"Just believe me. He misses you." He mumbles.

I don't have time to question him anymore.

"Can we go home now?" Steven yawns, stretching.

"I can take you guys home." Doc offers. "Viv, you can go back with Nikki." He suggests and I raise my brow as tension collects in the air.

Everyone looks at me knowingly, waiting for me to answer.

"I can't do that." I argue, crossing my arms.

"It's been a month, Viv." Doc states, his eyes flickering to Nikki for a second.

"Which means we have two more to go." I raise my brows.

"Vivian." He says more sternly. "Stop being ridiculous."

"He wanted to get away from me for three months. He's getting what he wants, like he always does." I laugh without humor.

"You didn't really expect him to go that long with his wife--"

"--Oh, I did. He was oh so sure he wanted to be separated for that long." I cut Doc off, looking at Nikki. "I'll see you in two months. Whether it's with open arms or divorce papers, is up to you. I could give a damn at this point."

I wanted to punish him. He hurt me by making me feel like he didn't care. He didn't throw "ninety days" out there to have that much time to gather his thoughts and reflect and do better by me, he threw out that number so he could have more time to do whatever the hell he wanted to without his wife in the house.

And he did whatever and whoever the hell he wanted to do the entire time.

For years I blamed my reluctance and pettiness as the main contributor to his affair with Vanity.

After that night at the police station, I refused to come home, even when he called the apartment, fucked up and crying, repeating "I'm sorry."

Had I come home, it might have decreased their time spent together or something. At least that's how I felt for years after the actual affair took place.

I didn't realize he wasn't calling and saying "sorry" because he regretted suggesting we be apart for that long...but because he'd slept with another woman. Another woman he found himself becoming slightly emotionally connected to, and knew, almost immediately, wouldn't just be a one-night stand or a fling, but would become "the other woman."

And she would hold that position, without my knowledge, for an entire year and a half.

Of course when I found out I was angry at the both of them, but I was more angry at him.

He sought her out.

He saw her in Vanity 6's "Nasty Gal" video, called his people at the office, they contacted her people, and set up a date for them to meet. Just like that. And he wasn't even thinking of me because I wasn't even living in the house with him.

So to me, for a long time, I was just as much to blame as Nikki and Vanity.

And that doesn't even count the many times I blamed myself for his straying after staring in a mirror and comparing myself to her.

We were on the complete opposite sides of the spectrum in looks, personality, how we carried ourselves, and hobbies.

And it's not like she was Nikki's outlet to an entirely different lifestyle than he had with me.

It wasn't like he was a sober, church going, family man who kept things vanilla and just visited her when he needed a wild night of smoking crack, shooting heroin and screwing around.

He was the same person with her as he was with me.

The only reason they stayed together so long is because she never made him feel bad for fucking himself up. She encouraged it.

And that was the one thing I had over her.

Well that, and, according to Izzy, "she's a ten but the drugs make her a five. And her being batshit crazy knocks her to a solid two...on a good day. You're a ten."

He followed that up with, "don't compare yourself to a fucking crack addict when there's barely anything left of her to compare to. The only thing she can say she's got on you, is screwing your husband, and she brags about it because strung out Nikki Sixx is obviously a prize."

His sarcasm had me laughing and wiping my tears.

I was tempted to get "strung out Nikki Sixx is obviously a prize" tattooed on me, but decided not to.

The door opens and Slash and Steven come in, chuckling, as I scrub the last cup in the sink.

"Wow, it's only three in the afternoon and you're up?" I ask them.

"We took Tans to the airport." Stevie explains. "I don't know why she doesn't just move back here." He adds.

"She works out of New York." I say with a shrug.

"She's alright got Miss 1985. The hell else is there left for her to do?" He sighs, pouting a little and I rub my lips together.

"Hustler magazine called her a few days ago." I tell them and they look at each other.

"Hustler's more graphic than Playboy..." Steven points out with slight distaste.

"I think the wrong people have their feet on her neck, and there's not a damn thing any of us can do about it." I tell him, rubbing my forehead.

"Oh." He says lowly, a sad expression on his face.

I decide to change the subject.

"So." I start, sitting on the counter. "Any idea for an album yet?"

"We got plenty of songs. We're looking for a producer." Slash informs me, sitting on the couch. "Tom wants to bring in Paul Stanley."

"Ugh." I can't hide my wrinkling nose at the idea of Paul Stanley producing Guns N' Roses.

"What's wrong with that?" Steven asks me.

"I like Paul but KISS isn't Guns N' Roses. I don't think he would give you a sound that's signature to you guys' style."

"Yeah, that's what the guys think." Stevie replies, sighing out. "It's still cool we got his attention."

"Yeah, it is." I agree. "You just gotta stick to what your sound is, is all."

"Well, who produced Mötley's first big album?"

"Oh, it wa--" I stop myself abruptly after the name completely leaves my mind. I furrow my brows, knowing that I know who produced it, but I can't. "I'm not crazy. I know who produced it."

They wait for a moment.

"Did they even have a producer?" I mumble to myself. "Well then who the hell produced 'Shout at the Devil' and 'Theater of Pain'?" I ask myself, thinking harder than I should be. "You're telling me you were the only sober one around and you can't even remember who the hell was working with them?" I keep talking to myself and I can see Steven and Slash looking at each other from the corner of my eye. "I give up. I can't remember. I'm not crazy." I tell them and Stevie spins his pointer finger beside his temple to signal to Slash that I'm looney and I throw the dish towel at him, hitting him in the face, causing him to chuckle some more.

"I'm gonna go get a shower." I tell them, trying to calm my laughter spell with them as I step to the bathroom and start the shower before undressing and getting in.

I've been fine, actually getting out of bed at a reasonable time every day and cleaning up the apartment while the guys are out doing whatever. I haven't missed any doses of my medicine in a while, and that's helping my mood more than I thought it would.

I've been slowly starting to dance again. I'm not sure if Mandy is aware Duff sneaks me to her band's rehearsal space almost every other night, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

I still miss Nikki--and it's been two weeks since we last saw each other--but it's not a "can't breathe without you" feeling, I just miss his company, his smart-ass comments, his teasing, his laugh, his smile, his eyes, the sound of his bass as he fumbles with it to recreate a riff he thought up in his head at some point, the way he would do tiny things to help me around the house, our conversations in the dead of night about stupid things he would think up under the influence...I miss him sneaking into my bedroom window at night and the two of us trying not to wake up my parents with our laughter, I miss feeling like I never wanted to leave the apartment he shared with Vince and Tommy because I'd have to leave his bed, I miss not having the weight of the world on my shoulders, not constantly thinking "you're his wife, people are looking at you, dress like this, look like this, act like this, look happy, be sexy, fuck him good, and he won't give groupies a second glance."

I miss life before the access to excess.

I miss Nikki.

Not "Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe."

Just Nikki.

I'm rinsing shampoo from my hair when someone knocks at the door.

"Viv?"

Speaking of Mandy, her voice sounds from the other side of the door.

"Yeah?" I reply, hearing the door open a little.

"You've got a phone call. He says it's an emergency." She tells me. "He says it's about your husband." She adds.

I'm nearly breaking my neck to scramble out of the shower, not bothering with taking the time to wrap up in the towel, rushing past her and my heart sinks to my stomach.

"Emergency" and "Nikki" are never good in the same sentence.

Duff is holding the phone for me, mouthing "Doc" to me as I take it, trying to convince myself not to start crying before I even know what exactly is going on.

"H-Hello?" I ask into the phone, my body shaking. I don't know if it's due to anxiousness or the cold air clinging to my wet skin.

Duff's draping my shoulders with his jacket, and Mandy pulls it shut so I'm not flashing Slash or Steven, who're in front of us, sitting on the couch.

"Viv, I need you to break that fucking bullshit you have for therapy and go back home." Doc orders me.

"Why? What happened? What's wrong? Is Nikki okay?" I frantically ask one after the other.

"I don't know, I'm about to head over there and make sure." He says.

"Doc, what the hell happened? What's wrong?" I demand, getting more and more impatient.

He's quiet on the other end, hesitating for some reason, only pissing me off more and more because I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack.

"Doc!" I bark, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"His grandfather, Tom, just called me so I could pass the message on to you. He's already called Nikki." He starts, pausing as if what he's about to say is a tough thing to get out. "Nikki's grandmother has passed away, Vivian."

[my-emotional-self]

The Mission Chapter 17

Pairings: Ari Levinson x Reader

Warnings:  swearing, angst, gun firing

Summary: Ari Levinson tries to recruit you for Operation Brothers.  While you weren’t ready for any kind of mission, you obliged after much consideration. You didn’t plan on falling in love along the way.  But will Ari return those feelings? Or will his heart only be on the mission?

The months had flown by and it was now the end of summer of 1981; the resort thriving!  Over 3,500 refugees had been saved so far and relocated to safety in Jerusalem.  

Over the last year, there was always a huge party of celebration after each mission which consisted of a large fire and Sammy playing the guitar, singing as everyone danced around, including the tourists.  

But you were starting to get antsy.  You had yet to be a part of an actual mission, even though Rachel now went with the men to help out.

Jake, Sammy, Max and Rachel were loading up the trucks as you stood from the doorway of the lobby, watching helplessly.  You felt a light smack on your ass as Ari walked back, turning back to give you a wink.

“Can I come tonight?” you asked, catching up to Ari.  He halted his steps, moving around to face you.  

“Absolutely not,” he declared with narrow eyes.  “It’s too dangerous and you know that.”  

Looking over his shoulder, you saw Rachel jump down from the truck.  “But Rachel gets to go.  Why can’t I?” Your own eyes narrowed back at him, hands on your hips as you felt anger boiling in you.  

He let out a deep sigh and you could see that he was battling with himself to say something; something you knew he wanted to say but he was holding back.  “Look, it’s just too dangerous for you.  Rachel can handle herself out there.”

Your mouth opened, eyes growing wide as you scoffed at him.  “What, and I can’t?  Do you not remember that I survived the Hadandawa?”

“You survived by hiding in the brush Y/N!” he growled through clenched teeth.  

You couldn’t believe him! They never had an issue having to deal with physical fighting on these missions.  He was treating you like a child.  There had to be more of a reason for him not to want you to come out with them, but right now, you didn’t care as you were furious.  All you wanted to do was be a part of the mission for once. “Fuck you Ari,” you spat, turning around and storming back into the hotel.  

~~~

His jaw clenched as he watched you storm into the resort.  He almost told you the reason why he didn’t want you out there on the mission;  because he was in love with you and didn’t want to see you get hurt.  He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if you joined them one night and something were to happen to you.  But his blood began to boil when you told him off; he was just trying to keep you safe.  With clenched fists, he paraded into the resort to find you sitting behind the front desk.  

“What is your problem huh?” he demanded, slamming his hands on the table.  

“My problem?  MY PROBLEM Ari?  Why was I brought on this damn mission if I’m not going to be a part of anything huh?”  

He rolled his eyes at you. “You ARE a part of this mission Y/N!”

“Oh yeah.  I just sit here while you five go off and save everyone!”

“You are a part of this team Y/N even if you aren’t out there with us.  You celebrate with us every time.  You are an important part of this mission, trust me!  I just need you to stay here and be safe.”

“Whatever Ari,” you growled as you walked away from him.  

Ari slammed his fists on the desk again before heading out to the rest of his team.  

“What was that?” Jake asked as he hopped in the passenger seat of the truck; Ari getting in the driver’s seat.  

Ari let out a huff as he put the key in the ignition.  “She wanted to come with tonight.”

Jake laughed, shaking his head.  “Then why don’t you let her?”

Ari placed the gear shift in drive, turning his head to Jake.  “Just drop it.”

~~~

You paced Rachel’s room, waiting for the signal.  Ever since she had been going on the missions, she showed you how to work the communications technology she had.  Once you heard the signal, saying they had the refugees loaded up, you pulled the black hoodie over your head, shut off the lights to her room and shut the door.  

The moon was high in the sky, the resort quiet as there were no tourists today; the next bus would come tomorrow.  Taking a deep breath, you began to run towards the direction you knew they loaded the refugees up into the dinghies.  

Being at the resort, with the workout routines you did with Rachel and the runs you had with Ari, you were able to run the entire couple of miles.  Once you reached your destination, you crouched behind a few large boulders and waited for the trucks.  

As the trucks approached, you watched carefully to make sure it was Ari and the team.  When you saw him, you rushed out from your hiding spot and began to help the refugees into the dinghies.  

You felt a strong grip on your arm and you saw Ari’s pissed off face.  “What the hell are you doing here?” he growled through clenched teeth, keeping his tone quiet so nobody else could hear him.  

Yanking your arm free, you replied, “I’m helping them Ari.”  The two of you had a stare down before you turned from him to help the refugees off the big trucks, not bothering to listen to Ari cuss behind you as he soon shook off his angry feeing and began to help as well.  

“Ari?” a strange voice called out and you slightly turned to see a Navy Seal running up to him.  

“Yeah?” Ari responded as he turned to face the man who called after him.  

You were still helping people down from the large trucks, but you kept your eyes and ears peeled on Ari.

“Here.  This is for you.  It’s from your wife,” the man said, handing Ari an envelope.  Your heart dropped, vision immediately blurring with tears as you took in the man’s words.  Ari had a wife you thought to yourself.  You never would have known as he didn’t wear a wedding ring.  Feeling sick to your stomach, you swallowed back the bile as it reached your throat.  

~~~

Ari looked down at the envelope, but he could feel a pair of eyes on him.  Looking up, he saw you standing there, your hand covering your mouth as he took in your glossy eyes.  “Fuck,” he breathed out, knowing how this must look to you, but it wasn’t what it seemed.  His wife had left him, taken their daughter and moved to her parent’s house.  He had already signed the divorce papers she left him and now it was just a matter of the court signing off on them.  

He placed the envelope in his pocket and was about to make his way to you, but Max’s voice came over the walkie talkie.  

“Guys, we have company.”

“Say again?” Ari asked to Max.  

“We have company,” came Max’s voice over the walkie talkie.  

His eyes grew wide. “Go, go, go, go, go, go!” he declared, waving off the Navy Seal who handed him the envelope.  “What kind of company?”

“Shit shit shit,” Max responded.  

“Can you be more specific?” Ari asked as his eyes glued onto you. You were helping a woman and a small child onto a dinghy, his heart beginning to hammer in his chest as this was exactly what he didn’t want happening with you on a mission.  

“Military jeeps approaching from the north, I see three, four jeeps.”  

Ari began to look around, seeing a lot of refugees still  needed to board the dinghies.  “Fuck. Go, go, go, get on the Waverly!”

~~~

You watched Ari begin to scramble, yelling at people to get to the Navy ship and your heart sunk, knowing something was seriously wrong.  It was your gut instinct from earlier and you cursed yourself for defying Ari.  In that moment, you forgot all about Ari having a wife and you just wanted to be somewhere safe with him.  

There was a sudden onslaught of gunfire, the bullets hitting the sand and you froze, memories of the Hadandawa encroaching your mind.  But there was also Amina’s voice as well, and her words, telling you to be brave and strong.

You began to quickly help the mother and boy into the dinghy, your eyes watching out for Ari as well as he was doing the same on another dinghy.  A Navy Seal was shot and Sammy rushed to his side to help him.  

Scanning the horizon, you saw a few military Jeeps begin to approach the beach and once the mother and child were safely on the small boat, you raced to Ari’s side where he was helping the shot Navy Seal.  

“Grab a leg,” Ari demanded rapidly.  Grabbing the man’s leg, you lifted when the other men began to lift his body and you hurried your feet along with them to get him into a dinghy, all the while invading the bullets that kept coming for you and everyone else.  

“Don’t let go of this wound,” Sammy yelled over the gun fire.  “Keep the pressure there!  If you remove your hand he could die!”

Helping to push the small boat into the sea, Ari gripped your hand and the two of you, along with Sammy, ran for the same boulders on the beach you hid behind earlier, for cover.

There was Sudanese military yelling as you heard them approach the beach.  You covered your ears with your hands, not wanting to hear the rapid guns firing as you softly began humming to yourself, needing to drown out the noise.  

“No, do not engage!” you heard Ari yelling into his walkie talkie next to you.  “If you engage, it’s all over.  I’ll handle it!”  

You saw Ari begin to bury his walkie talkie in the sand.  “What are you doing?” Sammy asked.  You were nestled between the two of them behind the boulder.  

“Follow my lead,” Ari said as he turned to face you.  He cupped your cheeks in his hands, his eyes worrisome as he took in your scared face. “You need to stay here alright?  I need you to hide behind this boulder. Wait until the trucks leave and then run back to the resort.”

“But Ari,” you began to say but his lips cut you off.  It was the first time he had kissed you in front of anyone else, but you didn’t care at this point.  You kissed him back with passion, not knowing what was going to happen next.  

His hands released from your face as he gave Sammy a nod.  The two of them raising their hands in the air as they moved from the protection of the boulder.  

“Don’t shoot don’t shoot!” you heard Ari say as you curled your knees to your chest.  “My name is Guy Thomas from the Red Sea Diving Resort. We have tourists on night dive. What are you doing?  Where’s your commander?”

Placing your head on your knees, you let the silent sobs begin to wrack your body.  You didn’t know what was going to happen to Ari, and you didn’t know why he lied to you this whole time about having a wife.  

You truly regretted picking this mission to come storming upon.  

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

Hello! If you don't mind me asking, why don't you like Rachel? Like, is she problematic or do you just not like her? I personally do like her - no hate to you for not liking her, to each their own! - so I don't know of her being problematic, but if she is, I'm gonna Not and I haven't seen anything, but I'm not that good at, like, looking for problematic stuff, I guess? Sorry if this is word vomit and makes no sense, but have a good day and I love your blog, okay sorry bye.

Hi! First of all, I’m glad you like my blog, so thank you!

As for Rachel...I don’t think she has done anything inherently problematic, so don’t stop liking her on my account! Sometimes you just get a vibe about people or you just don’t like them, I guess. I’ve always got the vibe that she was kind of self centered and a bit shallow, and the relationship just seems sort of staged/PR?

For me personally, I don’t like that she comes across as kind of vapid and attention seeking. On her instagram for the past two months, she’s been posting little “crumbs” to try and allude to her relationship without actually saying it, like she wants Bill fans to take notice?

Recently there was an article that came out that was saying something like “Rachel Bilson is so sorry about her breakup with Adam Brody” - a relationship that was like 10-15 years ago. He’s now married to Leighton Meester and they’re expecting their second child, she’s supposedly dating someone...why bring up a long ended relationship? Why is she talking about it? If it were more recent, I might understand, but the fact is that it was over a decade ago and both have moved on?

Someone also pointed out that all of the pap shots of her are from the same people, backgrid I think, and I swear to god I have NEVER seen someone papped as often as her. Not even the Potter or Stranger Things kids have been papped as often as her, and they are DEFINITELY more famous/sought after than her. Quite a few people think she’s probably calling the paps herself, since it seems that it’s every time she goes out to any store ever.

Let’s be honest for a second - she’s not exactly A-list. The highlights of her career were early 2000s. There’s no way paparazzi are that desperate for this many shoots of her.

Like the staged grocery shopping pics with Bill - Bill has been in the business for roughly 15 years, and in those 15 or so years he has RARELY been papped. He doesn’t like attention, he has anxiety, and it’s clear he doesn’t want his kids to be papped either. He is an extremely private person, which so many of us respect. Literally, I’ve seen like one pap photo of him and one of his daughters. It seems fishy to me that there were more pap photos taken of him with Rachel in the course of a month than there has been the rest of his career, as if people care that they’re grocery shopping or whatever - and they looked angry/mad at each other to boot. Then the photos halted completely after the Golden Globes in January, before social distancing and quarantine was even a thing to be thought about.

Ah, the Golden Globes. It seems weird to me that she only went with him to the GG, but didn’t appear at the Directors Guild Awards (which he won) - it’s like it wasn’t nearly a high profile enough event for her to turn up to. And they looked so awkward and uncomfortable on the red carpet together, like they didn’t want to be there. There’s a video where at one point on the carpet, she’s asks him if he’s smiling and he seems to say “I am, it makes it more real” or something? So much about it is fake and off, like he looked happier hugging Paul Rudd on the carpet than he did standing next to his “girlfriend”, and she looked like she didn’t want to touch him.

I also don’t like how miserable she looks around her daughter, how her daughter is in several paparazzi shots (like the valentines one of her getting cake... no one cares if you’re picking up a cake, hon), and it just seems like she drags the kid out from time to time so she can be seen as a good mom. I truly hope that Bill’s daughters don’t get dragged into that bullshit, I truly do.

Someone on twitter (and this could be bullshit, could be true, take it at what it is) said that their friend lives in Tulsa, and that they were there the day of the “coffee date” pics - apparently Rachel turned up for like an hour or so and then went back to LA. Again, it’s not 100% factual evidence, so...you know.

I know gossip sites are never to be taken seriously but there’s a conversation on a site called Lipstick Alley that sort of sums it up a lot, and there’s someone who’s friend supposedly has worked in the industry/knows about all three parties involved (Bill, Maggie and Rachel). There’s a lot of people discussing it over there, and general consensus seems to be that Bill is a super nice guy, Maggie was a bit of a wifezilla, and Rachel is almost like Bill’s way of saying “look, I CAN get a pretty girl to have sex with me!” Because apparently Maggie made a comment about how the only way Bill could have sex with someone like Rachel was if it was in the film they did together, “The To-Do List” - which Maggie directed and both Bill and Rachel were in. It’s not like it’s a site made up of “jealous fans” who want to date him either, like I know a few who have said they don’t really like Bill anyway, and that they haven’t for a while because he’s done some problematic stuff in the past (the one that comes to mind is blackface on SNL).

It’s just also super fucking weird - the whole fact they were in a sex scene together a few years before they both got divorced, and now they’re apparently together in real life? Fucking yikes. I don’t think Bill is a cheater, he really doesn’t seem the type, but if I were married to someone and this happened after we divorced, I would have SERIOUS questions and doubts.

I may be completely wrong about her, and I fully accept that. I don’t know any of the people involved, and I never will, and I don’t kid myself into thinking that I’m 100% right or that I’ll ever know these people, even if I were to have a career that took off in either acting or writing (my two goals in life). I still like Bill’s films and I think he’s funny, but that’s the extent of it - it’s like I said in regards to Darren Criss and his wife. I love Darren and have since I was a 13 year old Gleek, I think he’s a cool dude; I don’t like his now-wife and haven’t for a while because...well, that’s a different post entirely. My point is that just because I stan someone, doesn’t mean I automatically have to like the person they’re married to or dating. 98% of the time, I’m like “aww cute” or I’m a fan of the other person in general, or if they’re private/not in the business, I respect that and them and wish their relationship well. I still respect that Darren is married, all the luck to them, I hope they’re happy, but it doesn’t mean I have to like someone. It’s the same for Bill and this situation, like if he’s happy then fair enough, it’s just I don’t really like Rachel anyway.

I’m explaining stuff poorly, I know. Sometimes you just don’t like a person though, even if they haven’t done anything, you know? As my nan would have once said “you can’t be everyone’s cup of tea” - it’s impossible for you to like everyone and for everyone to like you.

I hope you’re well, anon!

[beautymercurydragon]

Learning Lesson - ML One-Shot

“Okay, students, line the heck up,” Kara Lahiffe, daughter of Alya and Nino ordered. “You’ve all got a lot of learning to do. Also, raise hands if you have any questions, please!”

Chloe raised her hand in the air, getting a small nod from Kara as approval. “Why are you teaching us about this?”

“Because,” Kara began to explain. “If none of you got the online definition, you should get the explanation on what shipping is from a person who ships people in real life!” she exclaimed, wearing her own Uncle Adrien’s shit-eating grin.

“I have a feeling something’ll go horribly wrong,” Kagami whispered in Rose’s ear. “This is Kara, after all.” that was indeed true, as her scenario with telling some rather insulting humor about everybody the night before the talent show that resulted in her being kicked out of the Agreste, Couffaine and Couffaine-Lavillant, and Kim houses. It was safe to say that with her history in giving everyone’s parents her ‘learning lessons’ and telling jokes, Kara wasn’t the most trustworthy person in either field.

“So, shipping has two definitions,” Kara started, stating the obvious. “The first is the acts or the businesses of a person and/or thing that ships. The second one, however, is a modern slang of the word ‘relationships’ and is used if you think two people would make a good couple.” she explained. “Anyone else get it?”

Luka and Juleka were next to raise their hands, but before Kara could give them her approval, Juleka already began speaking. “So, shipping is basically what Luka and Kagami did with me and Rose?” she asked.

“From what Lilli and Viveka have told me, 100%,” Kara nodded. “Nice job, Uncle Luka and Auntie Kagami. You really know both your facts and your ships!”

And with her very words, both Juleka and Rose’s faces burned bright red at the somewhat-compliment-and-roast she’d made towards them. “She’s evil,” Juleka hoarsely whisper-coughed into her wife’s ear.

“Now, there’s also a song example of shipping, titled the ‘I Ship It’ song -” Kara said again, getting cut off by a chorus of people screaming ‘No!’

“No!” Alya, Marinette, Adrien, Nino, Alix, Max, Chloe, Kim, Kagami and Luka all screamed, getting up and putting their arm out in hopes of stopping her.

“That song is horrible!” Alix cringed. “My niece plays it for me. Thankfully, she’s too innocent to understand most of it.” 

“You think that’s bad?” Kagami challenged. “When nobody else in the house will get up, Jade blares that and forces us up.”

“Students, like Teacher Kara said, no talking during class!” the fifteen-year-old scolded. “Speaking of which, is beginning up again... now!”

“I ship people both in my real life, and in my books, TV shows, movies, and most of all, my magical girl anime!” Kara smiled, “Speaking of which, there’s another subject we’ll go to for a minute before moving back to this one.”

Her mother was next to raise her hand, Kara shooting her a thumbs-up so she could ask. “What subject?” Alya asked.

“OTPs!” Kara answered.

“Oh, no,” Chloe began to whisper to Sabrina. “Shit’s gonna go wrong starting just about... now.”

“This phrase is an abbreviation for One True Pairing, which is one ship above all of the others for a single person.” Kara explained. “Like how Mom’s OTP was Adrienette, I have mine too!”

And now, it was Adrien and Marinette’s turn to be embarrassed, as they face-palmed themselves violently and blushed a million shades of red. “When did she start doing this, and what made her this way?” Marinette asked her husband.

“Two words: Middle school,” Adrien responded. “It turned her from a friendly joker into a quirky, overbearingly irritating comedienne.”

“You’ll survive, Sunshine,” Juleka assured Adrien as she rubbed the back of his shoulders comfortingly. Both him and Marinette gave her a weird look in reference to his nickname, so she thought it’d be best to explain. “Got it from Alya.”

“Damn you, Alya and Kara,” Marinette muttered under her breath, looking over to her longtime best friend and giving her the ‘I’m watching you’ signal along with a threatening death glare. “Matchmaking, insult humor, and weird nicknames galore.”

“Question of the day, students; what’s your all-time OTP?” Kara asked. “Let’s start with.... Chloe!” Kara spun around, arm out as she pointed to her arch-rival’s mother.

“I have a good one,” Chloe smirked. “Lila’s face x a rolling pin.”

The other parents began to mutter to one another, all nodding about Chloe’s answer/choice.

“Great choice, Chlo,” Kagami whispered in her ear. “I have a different one in mind, but that one is a solid ship.”

“Next student is... Mister Luka Couffaine, father of my shortshit BFF Jade who is a genius cinnamon roll but still could kill me if she tried, as well the one who made us all go as the Sailor Guardians for Halloween!”

Jade was hiding in the hallway with the others, so she’d overheard it and defended herself. “I am not short!” she pouted.

“You’re only 5′0″,” Maddie, Adrien and Marinette’s fifteen-year-old commented. “Not to mention your cousin Viveka makes jokes about whenever you say you look up to her all the time. You’re short as hell.”

“Now that that’s over,” Kara said loudly as Jade and Maddie quit their arguing. “Luka, who exactly is your OTP?” she asked.

Wearing the world’s biggest shit-eating grin on his face, Luka glanced over to where Juleka and Rose were sitting, giving his sister and sister-in-law a smug smirk. “JuleRose.”

Marinette and Alya burst out laughing at his answer, while Adrien and Nino tried to hide their snickering but failed. Chloe, Sabrina, and Kim shook their heads and blinked, Alix and Max looked at each other in shock, and Mylene and Ivan face-palmed themselves while muttering things under their breath that nobody else could quite make out.

Which left Juleka and Rose to blush with embarrassment yet again, struggling to make eye contact with one another and Luka.

Kara smiled and spoke again, dragging on the question even farther. “Nice choice,” she whispered in Luka’s ear, shaking hands with him. “Also, Juleka and Rose, we all know you two shipped yourselves with one another when you were teenagers. Just admit it.”

“It has been confirmed,” Mylene whispered to Alix. “Alya and middle school have officially corrupted Kara.”

“100% probability rate,” Max confirmed, Alix gently elbowing her husband in the chest. “She’s long gone now.”

“Now, let’s all say our OTPs on the count of three, and stand up,” Kara ordered, all of the adults standing up onto their feet to answer. “One... two... three and go!”

“Maddie and Hugo!” Marinette answered, 100% confident in the statement she’d made clarifying that she proudly shipped her fifteen-year-old daughter with her crush. And so did everyone else, even Tom and Sabine.

“Dammit,” Maddie muttered from the hallway, Jade rubbing her back gently.

“I ship Emma and Rebecca together!” Adrien admitted. Ever since they’d teamed up together during the time that Marinette was villainized into Fashionista and taken her down, he’d admittedly shipped his thirteen-year-old daughter with Chloe and Kim’s fifteen-year-old.

And as for what he thought about their ages? Screw their age difference.

“I ship Maddie and Hugo too!” Rose exclaimed, leaning over to give Marinette a high-five.

“Same,” Juleka nodded.

“I used to ship Max and Alix together,” Mylene admitted. “I’m still proud all these years later that Marc and Nathaniel set them up.”

“I ship Nathaniel and Marc with each other,” Ivan said. “It’s great that they’re finally together.”

“Me too,” Sabrina nodded. Even though she was quite depressed when she and Nathaniel had divorced five whole years ago, she hoped that one day, he’d move on and get with Marc.

It was safe to say that Sabrina approved of NathMarc becoming canon.

“I shipped Chloe and Kim together,” Max answered. “I was thrilled 100% when they began dating.”

“I ship Rebecca and Emma too,” Chloe interrupted, trying to take the focus away from what Max had just said. “Adrien is correct, they are my new OTP. LilaRollingPin who?” she nervously laughed, giving a Marinette-style grin that showed all of her teeth.

“So do I,” Kim agreed.

“Ready for who I ship?” Alix said in a sarcastic voice, everyone else nodding and speaking that they agreed. “I ship... Lila x a boxing glove with a spring in it!” she exclaimed.

“That’s a solid ship,” Kagami nodded. “Well done, Alix.”

“I ship me and my pillow,” Kagami answered. “I’m tired from all of Jade’s waking us up with her I Ship It song and the 2:00 AM study sessions.”

And then, there were two left to answer: Alya and Nino. Kara trusted her parents more than anyone and was confident they’d have great answers, but little did she know it would humiliate her to the extreme.

“Well, what about you guys, Mom and Dad?” Kara glanced to where Alya and Nino sat, Nino on a floor pillow with Alya sunk back in the bean bag.

“Well...” Nino smirked.

“We actually used to ship you with your boyfriend before you two were even dating right now,” Alya blurted out. “Whenever you two would do school projects together, one could see that you two were crushing hard on the other.”

And on that day, Kara Christine Lahiffe lost her shit and become incredibly embarrassed, all because of her trick backfiring on her.

“Yep,” Nino nodded, high-fiving his wife. “In fact, when he came over to our house the day after your show premiered, I spoke with him in the car about how I shipped you two together.”

Upon hearing that, Kara ran away quickly from her house’s living room, into the hallway where Jade and Maddie where, zooming past them and heading into her room to die of embarrassment, all curled up in a ball.

“Called it.” Jade smirked.

“Me too,” Maddie seconded. “Karma’s a real pain, ain’t it?”

“To be fair, my OTP is Kara x Karma,” Jade admitted, joking to Maddie, who snickered. “Aren’t they just the most perfect match you’ve ever seen?”

“Indeed, Jade,” Maddie slowly nodded. “Karma is truly a beautiful thing.”

A/N: So... this was really funny to write XD. I will be posting more of my next-gen ML one-shots to here soon, and for those who would like to know, the main story is up on fanfiction.net under the username SwagaliciousWillowbrook and will be cross-posted to AO3 soon under the name RaeOfSunshine738! Also, if there’s any questions about my ML next-generation children, please, ask away in my Ask Box! I love answering questions. Whether it be about the kids’ personalities, their relationships with family members, friends and crushes, or the parents and how they are now, I accept anything and everything.

[pynkhues]

Say Dean did give her the necklace. Out of all the horrendous things he’s done to her, why would she decide to wear it tho?

Well, assuming that he is the one to give her the new necklace, which Istrongly suspect he is (although I’ve been wrong before!), I think there are afew reasons she’d wear it. And hey! I’ve had five or six asks since 2.08about Beth and Dean’s relationship, history and age gap, which I had a fewdrafts of, so I’m so sorry! I’m going to highjack your ask to combine/answerthem all! Hope that’s okay. 

Putting all myheadcanons and theories aside (at least for the first half of this post haha),let’s just talk about what canon has established about Beth and Dean and theirrelationship over the last 18 episodes. 

This is like, verylong (seriously 2,800 words), haha, so I’m putting it under a cut to save all your feeds. 

The Marks’ Family ValuesWhile 2.08 clarified a few things about the way Beth, Ruby and Annie wereraised, there’s still a lot that we don’t really know, so let’s look at what wedo know: 

1. Beth as a youngteenager crashed her mother’s car out the front of Ruby’s house with her kidsister in the passenger seat because there was no food in the house, and theirmother wasn’t getting out of bed. The implication, from Annie’sdialogue “She just really likes it there” is that this is not a new thing.(2.08)

2. Annie was areckless kid and had a broken arm during a time it’s implied she and Beth were neglected.(2.08)

3. “You knowwhat my mama used to say? You get what you get and you don’t get upset.” – Beth(2.01)

4. Beth played pianofor six years after her parents dropped $$s on it, despite changing her mindand wanting to play violin, which on its own I think can be written off as generalchildish indecisiveness, buuuut I think means a little more than that in thecontext of everything else. (1.05)

5. Beth worked heronly legitimate job in highschool at the Dairy Queen. (1.03)

5. Annie used to gethigh and was sexually active in highschool, and had gossip/rumours spread abouther. Their mother came into the school to address it and, it’s implied, madethe situation a lot worse, causing Annie not want to do the same to Sadie with Sadie’sbullies. (1.04)

6. Then Annie gotpregnant in highschool. (mentioned multiple times)

7. Beth has alwaysbeen the one that Annie has called to bail her out of trouble (mentioned a fewtimes).

9. Beth had postpartumdepression with at least one of her children. (2.05)

The Boland Timeline

While we haven’t gottenconfirmed ages of the characters, we do know that Dean is, at the very least, ayear older than Beth, although I think it’s more likely around three yearsgiven the way it’s framed in the episode. SO. 

1. Beth meets Dean atschool when she’s either a freshman, sophomore or junior. He’s a senior. It’sat a point in time where we know her mother is bedridden and Beth spends a lotof time looking after Annie (she even took Annie to Ruby’s father’s funeral,which I think says a lot as to how much Beth – and by proxy Ruby – were lookingafter Annie). (2.08)

2. Beth and Dean havebeen married for 20 years during S1, so that puts them likely at gettingmarried when Beth is somewhere between the age of 20-22. (mentioned multipletimes)

3. Somewhere in thistime period, Dean takes over Boland Motors from his father (one of the photosin the screensaver Dean’s looking at in 2.04 looks like it’s from a grandre-opening, and Beth’s holding a baby boy, so it looks like this could bearound the time Kenny or Danny is born) and Beth becomes a stay-at-home motherand a housewife. Dean also has full control of their finances, and Beth is onan allowance that he also controls. 

4. Kenny has hiseleventh birthday in S1, so Beth would’ve been in her late twenties when shehad him. 

5. We don’t know theage gap between the rest of the kids (and in fact, those age gaps have obviouslychanged between S1 and S2 lol) but it looks like Jane is now the youngest, notEmma, and that Beth and Dean hadn’t had sex in the two years before gettingpregnant with Jane, and then that they hadn’t had sex since she was born until2.06, which seems to be about five or six years. (2.05 / 1.05)

6. Beth had postpartumdepression after at least Emma (it was the specific given reason as to why theyhadn’t had sex in the two years before getting pregnant with Jane), although Ithink the implication is that it was with more of the kids than just her.

7. Somewhere in allof this, Dean had multiple affairs. He says four, but the implication fromAmber is that it’s more than that, and then I think Beth basically confirmsthat when she says “Dean’s slept with half of Detroit” later in the episode.Plus Dean being a pathological liar isn’t exactly a secret. (2.05)

8. Beth finds out hesleeps with Amber in 1.01 and that he’s mortgaged their house three times andthat their savings are gone. She kicks him out, takes control of theirfinances, and robs Fine & Frugal. 

9. Dean tries to winher back a few times - first by appealing to her pragmatism (and I’ll beexpanding on this shortly) - by talking about how they’ll both be worse offfinancially if they separate - before telling her that she’s the love of hislife, then by showing up unannounced to mow the backyard (a traditionally malehousehold job), then by using Kenny’s birthday wish that they were backtogether to try and guilt her (another point I’ll be expanding on shortly!)

10. Cut to Kenny’sbirthday party. He implies Beth’s having an affair with Rio (lols for so manyreasons), they fight, Beth insinuates that she’ll be filing for divorce soon(”You’re still my wife” “Yeah, I’ve gotta get on that.”) and Dean drops TheCancer Lie. Beth is obviously upset, and lets him move back in, but he’ssleeping in Kenny’s room. (1.04)

11. Dean doubles down on the cancer lie by bribing a doctor to tell Bethhe has prostate cancer, but he also covers for her when Turnerfinds the Boland Motors car the girls stole from the lot. He then confronts herabout it in a very paternalistic way (”Why don’t you get a job?” “Sit down!”“These people prey on good, innocent people” “I’m sorry I yelled at you, buteverything’s going to be fine. I’ll take care of you.”). Beth plays along inthe moment, but Dean changes the locks without telling her (and also doesn’thelp her bring the grocery bags in which is sooo telling), reveals he’sswitched hours with a guy at work to be around to ‘protect’ her, and Bethfinally stands up for herself “You have no idea what I’ve done or even who Iam”. (1.06)

12. Dean asks her ifshe’s doing it for the kids. She says yes, and he says it’s all he needs toknow. It genuinely seems to comfort her in the moment. It’s one of their fewnice scenes and I think shows what they were like when they were at their verybest. (1.07)

13. Rio shuts down,Beth is back on an allowance. She tries to get a loan, but their credit hasn’trebounded enough and they still have too much debt. Dean solves the problem bymoving the botox via the doctor he bribed. Dean won’t tell Beth how he did it,but she’s grateful enough to end up coming clean about what she does for Rio.They have their second nice moment. “You don’t deserve anything I did toyou.” + “I think you’re incredible.” (1.08)

14. Dean obviouslyfeels like he and Beth are getting back on track, and is annoyed that Annie’sliving with them temporarily. He builds Beth a craft table with hiddencompartments to hide her fake cash! (1.09)

15. Dean tries toorganise something for their anniversary, which Beth doesn’t agree to rightaway, but does later in the episode when he tries to help her after realisingshit’s going down in the crime world. Dean gets into a car accident whilechecking out another woman, Beth finds out he lied about the cancer (like thatgrenade was never going to blow, Deansy), he came home, Rio shoots him to getback at Beth, but not before revealing a certain degree of intimacy and trustbetween the two of them, which Dean clocks instantly. (1.10 / 2.01)

Then Season 2happens, haha.

So let’s talk about Beth & Dean

I’ve said it a fewtimes before, but when it comes to Beth, we’re ultimately watching somebody whohas been disempowered and disenfranchised for a really, really long time tryingto reclaim a sense of identity and control over her life. Even before 2.08, wewere looking at that through the sense of her marriage to Dean where she had noreal independence. Her entire life was dictated by decisions that he made forthem, personally, professional and financially, and a lot of the first half of Season1 was devoted to her realising exactly how many of those decisions had been bad ones. As the series went on, she reallydid start to gain a sense of financial independence (which is incredibly important)as well as a sense of her own identity and agency, only for that to becompletely crippled again across that four episode arc - 1.09 through to 2.02 –firstly by thinking Rio had played her for a fool (the empty truck), then Rio firingher, then realising that Dean hadplayed her for a fool again (thecancer lie), and then her plot to put Rio away falling apart, Dean being shot,and her realising that she was newly indebted to both of them.

I think what 2.08contextualised was that Beth has never really been allowed to explore who sheis, because there’s always been somebody she’s had to look after. She’s alwayshad dependents and she has lived a life of constant compromise, making her incrediblypragmatic and sacrificing of her own needs and wants. The episode establishedthat Beth spent most if not all of her adolescence caring for Annie and theirmother, married young, and then spent her entire young adult life looking afterDean and their four children.

Likely the appeal ofDean was that he was older, gave her attention in a way that seemed to ‘see’ herat a time where her needs were neglected at home, and likely popular – he’s goofyand fun, as the show’s establishedmultiple times, which I think would be more likeable at that teenage age, and Ithink he probably appealed to Beth as a way out of a troubling home situation.At the end of the day, the show has established pretty firmly that Beth is, whenit comes to her and her own, a survivor. And when I say survivor, I don’t meanthe badass, action heroine sort of survivor - I mean the desperate, do-what-she-has-tosort of survivor. She has an uncanny ability to lie and perform to get herselfout of situations, and also a tendency to sacrifice her own happiness for thoseshe loves. I think when it came to Dean, for a very long time, Beth sacrificedpower and control for a security and safety that she hadn’t had growing up,first for herself (and likely in part for Annie too), and then for her fourchildren.

And I think Dean, priorto the start of the series, had never truly been challenged on any of thecontrol that he wrought over their lives. He’s your classic embodiment of whitemale privilege, and I think he has all the baggage that comes with that,including a firm belief in gender roles, a heady sense of entitlement, and asubconscious expectation that things will usually work in his favour. The factthat he started dating Beth when she was so young, that he inherited BolandMotors from his father, and the fact that he blames Beth’s postpartum depressionfor his affairs too I think drasticallyemphasises that. We talk a lot about the power play between Beth and Rio, butBeth and Dean, since 1.01, have been in a power play of their own – Beth in herdesire to break out of their traditional roles, to ‘steer the ship’, and toreally put her family in a more secure position in life (something she realisedDean was incapable of doing), and Dean in his desire to keep them in their traditional roles, to ‘steer the ship’, and tokeep the status quo (I mean, hell, the fact that he was checking out anotherwoman on his way to his anniversary dinner with Beth in 1.10 says a lot about exactly how little he wants things tochange).

In what is typical ofpeople who are nurturers/carers or have been forced into nurturer/carerpositions in their life, Beth also seems to feel guilt to a disproportionatedegree, and in a way that often seems to cancel out any other emotion,including her anger. This is established pretty early in season one in smallways - her snipping with Annie then immediately back pedalling when sherealises Annie might lose custody of Sadie, with not being able to throw Kennythe birthday party he wants, with her telling Dean about what she does for Rioafter Dean offloads the botox, and then reiterated in big ways this season -nursing Dean after he’s been shot, crawling into bed with Kenny after he gotcaught binge eating at school, going above and beyond to get the dubby backafter Jane feels neglected, I’d even argue that the whole situation with MaryPat has partially been fuelled by guilt for putting Mary Pat in that situationin the first place when she’s a widow with four young children.

And I think Dean knows this! He has guilted her so much across the course of this show, often in a way to deflectfrom his own shortcomings or to ultimately playher. He gaslights her all the time,and she often doesn’t even realise it, which demonstrates, to me at least, howoften he’s done it over the course of their 20+ year relationship. The wholething about the cancer lie in the first place was to back her into a corner,which he succeeded in doing. He guilted her about being at Boland Motors andaway from the kids. When Jane went missing, he immediately blamed her and guilted her for her involvement with Rio(instead of………you know……….looking for his daughter), in 2.08, he guilted Beth for checking on her moneybefore untying him after he’d tried to organise a hit on her partner and gottenher robbed blind in the process.

And when the guilt and the manipulation stopped working, he did thething he knew she couldn’t ignore (and that would hurt her the most) which istake the children. Beth is, like I said earlier, a survivor and a sacrificer whenit comes to her and her own. There’s no way she won’t give up everything togive those children what she didn’t have – a mother who she could rely on. I thinkDean’s ultimatum won’t just be about them either. I could be wrong, but I thinkhe’s going to tell her that they have to try again as a couple, and I thinkthat’s what that necklace is going to be about (seriously though, if he givesit to her as a part of the ultimatum, everything about it symbolically is acollar), and she’ll put it on for her children, and I think it’s all honestlygoing to push her over the edge in a really big way before the season’s over.

I’ve mentioned this in other posts, but I think Beth fully was intendingto leave Dean before the cancer lie, but then she needed to care for him(again, a manipulation I think Dean knew would work because of Beth’s historycaring for her mother and Annie), and then the shooting (same reason, plus theadded bonus of her having caused it). Since then, I think she has almostcompletely emotionally divorced him – having sex with Rio, taking over BM,checking on the money first, not letting him back into her bed – is all verytelling of this, and I think she had likely had her pragmatic hat on and waswaiting until she could feasibly balance all the pieces in her life on her ownbefore filing for divorce. Of course, that’s now blown up with Dean holding thechildren essentially hostage.

And look, do I thinkDean loves Beth? I do actually, in his own way. Do I think Beth loves Dean? Ithink she did, but like she said to Ruby – Dean’s not a soulmate for her, oreven a partner. Beth and Dean should’ve maybe briefly dated in highschool andthen broken up, but they’re both in too deep now, and I don’t think anythingshort of a bullet or an arrest is going to easily disentangle them.

[prorevenge]

Short my boyfriend $200+? Enjoy your divorce.

So this whole debacle started in my freshman year of college. I went to a religious college so there were a lot of really strict rules regarding curfew and punishments for not going to the mandatory worships, this comes into play later. Background on me: I am not a physically imposing young lady, just under 5 ft and 100 lbs soaking wet and wearing cinderblock shoes. At this time I had been recently dumped and so I was starting college practically alone as my ex and I were set to go to the same university but he dropped out to join military school. Before we start lets denote some names:

Me: is me of course Andy: is my dear boyfriend (now fiancé) Jess: one of my Best friends and roommate after the first quarter And finally the antagonist of the tale: Sam Not real names of course, and at the start of this we were all 18 we are all 24-25 now.

As this was a religious School, we had a sort of camp out in the week or two before classes started, it was meant to be a getting to know you kind of thing, and so we had things called “family groups”, I was a little freaked out, but in the group there was one loud, overly friendly girl named Sam. Sam was the same ethnicity as me and so we quickly bonded over a shared ethnic background and how similar we were, she had a boyfriend in the army and I lamented my single status and how my ex basically ditched me for the navy. She seemed perfect, sympathetic, social, and fun. I warmed up to our family group with the help of my new best friend. We had a great weekend, and got to know others in the group, including Jess. Jess was more quiet and disinterested, with a classic case of resting bitch face but eventually she warmed up to me and I to her. Sam didn’t really like them but you wouldn’t know it unless she told you.

The first sign of something off with her was during dinner, I was sitting with Jess and her friend from high school Andy. He and I really hit it off, but as my heart was still freshly broken I kept some boundaries up but agreed to go watch a movie when we got back from the trip. Immediately Sam pulled up a chair and was all over him, asking about his past, how he and Jess met, what he thought about her outfit, and on and on. I was a little miffed but just ate my burrito. For the rest of the trip Andy and I were hardly apart and Sam got more and more passive aggressive with me, bringing up my ex and how I was moving on too quickly. I believed her and cancelled my “date” with Andy, and said that I didn’t want him to just be a rebound. He was understanding and chill with just being friends which was a blessing for me, but seemingly not good enough for Sam. After the trip was over I decided to show them around the city since I was a local student. While the others put their stuff in their rooms Sam asked me to stay behind because she had to “confess” something to me. She started spewing some bs about how Andy had cornered her outside the cabin and was being a pervert and telling her how beautiful she was so on and so forth. I was skeptical and made it known, but her response was just “just looking out for ya girly.” By then the others came back and I just decided to ignore what she said and have a good time in the city. This was incident 1.

A couple weeks go by, Andy, Jess, and I became a little squad of sorts because all our schedules matched up, whereas finding time to hang out with Sam was more than difficult. This all came to a head when Jess and Andy planned a little trip to the local Benihana place and didn’t invite Sam. She found out via social media and flew off the handle. I had gone home for the weekend and when I came back on Monday I was greeted with drama, tears, and accusations. The gist of the situation is, the group didn’t invite Sam because she is vegetarian and has a lot of allergies, so it would be dangerous to even step foot in the Benihana, and in retaliation Sam took her “best friends” aka random girls from the dorm, horse back riding and posted a photo with the caption “better than Benihana”. (Incident 2)

Once again this is what I came back to and so things were pretty frosty. I asked for some backstory and apparently, it was work friends who invited Andy and Jess so it wasn’t even their place to invite someone else, and it wasn’t like she would be able to eat anything at the Benihana anyways so they literally didn’t even think they were being rude. According to Sam, they were purposefully excluding her and that no one likes her and that this was just like it was in high school. She didn’t have very many friends and we were just becoming privy to why exactly that was.

Incident 3 was the friendship bracelets. She ordered these semi-expensive bracelets for me and Jess but mysteriously Jess’s broke in the mail and the replacement would “totally come any day now”. Jess pretended not to be hurt but it obviously stung when she would fawn over our bracelets and how we are such great friends. Spoiler the bracelet never came.

Now I was still trying to smooth things over but it kept getting worse and worse, if I was hanging out with Andy or jess she wouldn’t speak to me, but would only talk shit when we were alone. During all of this Andy and I kept getting closer and eventually started dating but low-key cause the whole situation with Sam and we didn’t want to set her off. I know we were spineless back then.

Now for the catalyst for the revenge. She was a wanna-be youtuber, and wanted to do a holiday video. Andy is a film major but he doesn’t want anything to do with her after all her lies and petty behavior. But then she made an offer we couldn’t refuse, “I’ll give you $200 and pay for food” and for what should’ve been an hour or two of filming we were sold. I was set to manage the site, since that’s my personality is “get it done”, and he was in charge of filming. He worked so hard on it ya’ll, he story boarded, he made a script for her, he got all his equipment together. I was so proud of him. I contacted the diner where we were filming and got everything together and we were set.

Filming Day arrives and we get our hair and makeup done for the “actors” and “actresses” and we all get to the diner an hour before, at her insistence, and set up. She says she’ll be 30 minutes late and so we decide to eat after shooting some B-roll. Guess how long it took her and her “entourage” to arrive? 2 whole hours. We finally get filming and if you are counting we have been at the diner for 4 hours, pre-filming. We spend another 2 hours filming and we have to take after pics in our outfits and everything. Did she pay for our food? Nope. And she tells Andy “You got a big payday coming, you deserve more than 200 for today.” He’s happy cause he wanted to take me out for a nice date for the holiday but spoiler again, she didn’t pay up.

So a week or two goes by and it gets closer and closer to holiday and we already turned over all the footage we are just waiting for payment. Then came the excuses, “I don’t trust zelle.”, “I’m waiting for my auntie to pay me.”, “my aunts in the Caribbean right now and she doesn’t trust zelle either.” We kept hounding her for the money and the holiday came and went, she posted the video and stopped answering texts. Since we all lived together I confronted her and more excuses then she said give her two more weeks.

During those two weeks, she told everyone who would listen that she already paid us and that we were terrible people to try and extort her for more. Now at this point in the year, we are fed up with her, and Andy is ready to write the 200 off, he bitches to his smoking buddies and the smoking buddies get our side of the story out to the relatively small school and pretty soon she doesn’t have a leg to stand on. She gets nasty, texting me all this bs about how Andy is cheating on me and that I deserve better and screenshots of their conversations where he supposedly tells her how he’d rather not be committed. Now we had some commitment issues in the beginning, on both sides, but she tried to present these texts as recent, not stuff from months ago. The final straw was when she called me stupid and naive for staying in the relationship despite him being a greedy man whore.

Now I was going scorched earth, for some background on Sam. She was a chronic cheater, like get drunk at a party and give a guy a blowjob cheater, then go out the next weekend and do it again. She was also married, she and her husband got married right out of high school, which is typical of army guys in my experience. The ink wasn’t even dry on the marriage certificate, less than a year when she burned us. But I was someone she chose to confide in since she thought I was too stupid to see through her after all the shit she put us through. So I gathered evidence, all the cheated, the videos of her doing shit at parties, sexts with various guys, the drinking binges, and her shit talking her loving army boyfriend. I gathered all of this information for more than a year, I felt horrible for the guy but I needed a file that would damn her to legal hell.

D-day arrived when about a year and a half after I met her she told me that she thought her husband was cheating as when he was deployed she found a video on his phone of him and his buddy dancing on some girls in a club. Sam was livid, she was cursing and swearing she would take him for every cent in court for cheating on her. Never mind that she was blowing guys for fun every other weekend. I asked her if she had proof, and she said that proof doesn’t matter, they always believe the hurt wife.

I complied all my evidence and wrote a very long apology letter for waiting this long, and sent it anonymously. Sam didn’t return to school the next year and I kinda lost track of her. I got reminded when my fiancé showed me that terrible video we did for her, I confessed what I did and we social media stalked her accounts. She now posts a lot of “single and loving it” memes and she has a few vlogs talking about fake friends and how simple living is the best. I guess thats a consequence of loosing her luxurious “rich girl” lifestyle that her husbands family provided for her. Looking at her ex-husbands page he has a beautiful wife and a baby on the way, looking way happier than I’d ever see him.

TL;DR: So yeah, don’t be a bitch and short people 200 dollars. It'll cost you your husband, your cushy lifestyle, respect, and one year of nontransferable credits at an out the ass expensive school.

(source) (story by StraightTrade488)

[magggg202]

Guys I went over my last doc and rewrote some of it so here’s the newer version of my fanfic “Making A Deal With The Enemy”

Making a deal with he enemy

Gregg sat on Annie’s floor helping her pack for a weekend away with Beth, Ruby and Noah. Even thought they were divorced now and had a short affair he would always love Annie. Except lately she has been very off, ever since the night she told him Rio was dead. Rio and him hadn’t talked in a few months because Gregg didn’t agree with Rios life choices but that was his friend. Rio was Annie’s friend too and Annie was acting like nothing had happened.

Annie walked in with her luggage, Gregg looked up at her. She wondered why he always stared at her with curiosity.

“What?”

“How can you go away? Rio is dead.”

Annie wanted to tell Gregg the truth, she had been begging Noah and Beth, they both said for the time being their secret must stay a secret.

“Gregg that was three months ago, he wouldn’t want us to dwell on it.”

Gregg got up off the floor. He was mad. Dwell. How could she say that. Rio was their friend for years. His Death wasn’t something they should get over. “I’m going to pick Sadie up from school.”

“Please bring him home before you go to your house, I want to see him before I leave tonight.”

Gregg shook his head yes and left. He was mad. Rio and him hadn’t been close in years but they always spoke from time to time and that changed nothing Rio was always would be his best friend.

Later that night and a 3hr and 40 minute plane ride later. Beth, Annie, Ruby and Noah all landed in Cancun Mexico.

“The car will be here in 2 minutes,” Noah told the girls.

Exactly Two minutes later a black car with tinted black windows pulled up and the passenger door opened, Rio got out and gave everyone a smile.

“Miss me?” He smirked.

Beth ran over and hugged him tight, this had been the longest 3 months of her life.

Rio places his hand on Beth’s chin and kissed her softly, he had really missed her. He breathed in her red door perfume, he had missed that smell so much. He missed everything about Beth. But he missed her most of all.

Beth pulled away so Rio could say hi to everyone else. He gave Ruby and Annie a hug and shook Noah’s hand.

“Well let’s get going shall we?” Rio gestured for everyone to get in the car.

A few minutes later they were pulling up a long drive way to a huge brick house that over over looked the Caribbean sea.

“Holy Shit,” Annie stares at the house. “This place is fucking beautiful.”

“It really is.” Everyone turned around and saw Gregg standing behind them. He was clearly very angry.

“Gregg what the hel-.”

“DON’T.” He shouted at Annie.”

Rio steppes in front of Annie. “Bro, don’t be mad at Annie, she wanted to tell you.”

“For three months I had been thinking you were dead.”

“You were supposed to, everyone, except the people here.” He pointed To the girls and Noah. “The FBI hasn’t to think I’m dead Gregg.”

“Why!”

“Come in my house so we can talk privately.” He points to his ears indicating people could always be listening.

Everyone goes in the house, before Rio and Gregg talk, Rio shows everyone around and to their rooms.

After they settle Annie and him go to Greggs room to speak to him about what really had happened three months ago.

“How’d you know where to go?” Annie said walking in the room.

Gregg looked out the window at the waves crashing on the shore. “I knew something was up, I’ve known since last week when I heard you talking on the phone to Beth, begging to tell me the truth. I booked at ticket. I picked Sadie up from school and brought him to Nancy’s told them I had to go somewhere for the weekend. I waited all day at the airport for you guys to come. I rented the car outside and when I saw you I followed you.”

“You’re a better cop then Noah and you aren’t even a cop,” Rio laughed.

“Shut up,” Annie rolled her eyes.

Rio sat on the edge of the bed. “Noah felt bad for lying to Annie about everything, he told them he wanted to help and he did. Beth and I came up with a plan. Well we all did. Noah got me a bullet proof vest. The plan was to trick Turner and that we did. I kidnapped him and I had to threaten Beth to make her get mad at me and make it believable for Turner. And she had to shoot me. I got my hands on some supplies that made it look like I was dead and bleeding. I had some of my guys on standby with an ambulance, where they dropped me off at a private jet that took me here to my safe house.”

Gregg burst out laughing, this was all fucking crazy he had thought. “Didn’t’ Turner want to see the body?”

“That’s what Noah was for. I beat up Turner so well that he had to go to the hospital and Noah took over and acted as if he saw me.”

“That’s kind of Genius.”

“We had to get him off my back and Beth’s and so far I think we did a pretty good job.”

Annie sat next to Rio and sighed, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

Gregg turned and looked at them, he walked over and hugged them both. “I’m still mad you guys didn’t tell me, but I forgive you.”

They all hugged it out for a good five minutes, when Beth walked in.

“Mind if I still him?” Beth gave Rio a smile.

“We do not,” Annie and Gregg said in unison.

Rio and Beth walked hand and hand into his room. Rios room was huge, pantings on the wall, pictures of him and his son Miguel on his night stand. White fitted sheets on the California king bed.

Beth pushed Rio on top of the bed, he let out a light laugh. Beth climbed on top of him holding his hands in the back of his head.

“I really missed you,” She said.

“I missed you more.”

Beth leaned down and kissed Rio. It was a long hot and passionate kiss. The one she had been waiting for, for months. Rio let go of her hands and ripped open her buttoned poke-a-dot dress. He flipped Beth over and started kissing her from her lips down to her stomach, Beth moaned with pleasure. She had missed his body on hers.

Rio had missed the feeling of being inside her.

After they made love Rio and Beth laid staring at each other. Beth laid her head on Rios chest. She rubbed over it with her hand. He pushed her hair out of her face.

“Sorry I shot you.” Beth frowned.

Rio smiled, “you had too.” He kissed her forehead.

“Remember all those years ago at Annie’s baby shower.”

“What about it?”

“I told you I was going to be with you someday.”

Beth looked up at Rio. “And you are.”

The next morning, the girls all laid on the beach soaking up the sun, while the boys were inside, drinking and sharing stories.

“I want to marry Beth.”

Noah and Gregg put their beers down and looked at Rio.

“I’ve been thinking about it for a few months now, I love her more than anything. I’m not going to stay hidden forever. And if we get married she can’t testify against me.”

“I honestly don’t know what to say.” Gregg raised his eyebrows.

“I already got a ring.”

“What?” Noah was shocked.

“Tonight at dinner I’m going to ask her to be my wife.”

Gregg sipped his beer. “Just don’t ever give up on your marriage like I did. I will forever regret losing Annie.” He looks at Noah. “Don’t you ever hurt her.”

“I don’t plan on it.” Noah said.

In the corner of the kitchen Annie let out a light cough. The guys all look at her, Noah and Greggs eyes went wide. “You guys going to come swimming?” She acted like she hadn’t heard anything. “Yeah babe coming.” Noah chugged his beer and followed Annie outside.

“You got to get her back Gregg, you love her. You have a kid. Noah’s a great dude but he’s not the one for her, you are.”

Gregg stares at Annie, “I love her more than anything.”

“She loves you too, I can tell.”

Gregg walks over and hugs Rio. “Thanks bro.”

They walk outside to join the others.

At dinner the guys anxiously wait for Rio to pop the question, when finally he stood up and looked at Beth and who looked back at him confused.

“Elizabeth I have loved you since I first met you 16 years ago at one of Greggs house parties. It was only a quick hello but I knew I could love you,” he gets on one knee.”

“Oh my god,” Ruby says.

“This past year getting closer to you has been not only a wish of mine but a true honor. It sounds corny but I’ve never wanted someone so bad to be in my life. I know I make mistakes and I know I’ll make more in the future but I will never make the mistake of hurting you or letting you go. I know that this is crazy but I want you to be my wife. Will you-.”

“You don’t even have to finish your sentence, I love you Rio and I would love nothing more than to be your wife.”

Rio opens up a small case threat olds a square shaped 14 karate gold diamond ring. Beth covered her mouth in shock, Rio took her shaking hand and slipped on the Ring that fit her perfectly. Ruby and Annie were crying, they were so happy for Beth. They thought she was crazy but they were happy. Everyone clapped and Beth and Rio kissed. They were getting married.

“I have a question,” Ruby spoke up.

“Yeah?” Rio and Beth said.

“How can she go wedding shopping? She has to be careful.”

Rio smiled, “I’m glad you asked, I have a friend who I pay more than enough money to help out. His name is doctor Mark Sensi. He’s an American doctor who moved here years ago to help out my friends here and myself. He agreed to take pictures and act like he’s dating Beth. It’s going to be a love at first site kind of thing.”

Ruby tilted her head, she was impressed Rio had thought this through. “I’ll allow it.” Rio laughed and hugged Ruby, “thank you.”

During the night Annie woke up and for some reason decided to look out the window where she saw Gregg sitting on the beach. She grabbed her robe and went outside.

“You okay?” She sat down next to him.

“I love you Annie, I want to have more kids with you because the one we made is pretty fucking fantastic. You have been my best friend for years. And when Rio asked Beth to marry him tonight it reminded me of us.”

“I love you too.”

Gregg looked at her surprised. “You do?”

Annie signs and takes his hand, “I love Noah but I also love you. I’m so confused Gregg. But I dont know what to do right now okay? I need time to figure it all out.” Gregg leaned over and kissed Annie’s cheek. “I’ll wait for you, forever.”

Annie leaned her head on Greggs shoulder. They stayed almost all night.

The next morning Rio made everyone breakfast, Noah walked over to him and congratulated him on his engagement to Beth. Today was the last day they’d all see each other for a while. They had to make sure no one was on their trail.

“Still can’t believe I made a deal with the enemy.” Noah laughed.

“I am not the enemy Noah.”

Beth walks over and wraps her arms around Rios waist while he cooked scrambled eggs.

“Noah haven’t you learned Rio has a big heart, but he makes dumb decisions. We all have to make a living.”

“Amen,” Ruby says. “I defiantly needed this vacation, but I miss my husband and my kids. But mostly my husband, because after hearing you too last night, I got to get me some sex too.” They all laughed.

“Well we had to celebrate our engagement,” Rio smirked.

Annie walks in the kitchen her hair a mess, “you had to celebrate it all night long? Mine and Noah’s room was next to yours you know. That fucking head bored. Bang, ba, bang, ba, bang. I mean I was only there for like 2 hours because Gregg and I sat outside but still.”

Noah looked at Gregg and than back to Annie. He had competition.

“Later on you and I are going to walk the town Elizabeth.” Rio looked at his fiancé. He had never been this happy. He hoped from this day forward everything would go well and if it didn’t, it didn’t matter he had Beth by his side.