#to say that she called in sick again so I could hear the live comment of both my bosses and ugh

[moondvncer]

🙃

[stayevildarling]

Wilhemina Venable x Regina Mills x Reader- Burying our memories Part 2

A/N: This is the second and last part to this. I had originally planned to write this ending but the first one was so long and considering everyone asked ❣️ Also wanna say again this is quite different to the plot and storyline in ouat, so more of an AU.

tw: mention of sickness, cursing, heartache, angst, happy ending

word count: 12k

taglist: (added some people who commented on part one so you could find this again- dw I won't add you to the permanent taglist, just for this)

@lunaticwhittaker, @billiebeanhoward, @lanawinters-ily, @kenzbro, @minaslittleone, @httpfiftyshadesofgay , @whitelotus00 , @ninaahs , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @paulsonsratched , @stepintomyworld , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometime , @ohrwurm26 , @wastdstime , @gayestswiftie , @marvelwoman-sugarbaby , @blu3dimples , @thesamesweetie , @fanfiction-24824

The morning sun casts a warm glow over Storybrooke as you step out into the garden, a sense of tranquility and normality washing over you. Her garden is your sanctuary and had always been for as long as you can remember, a place where you can escape the worries of the world and lose yourself in the beauty of nature. As you begin laying out your tools and getting started for the day, the large white mansion behind you, the sun shies on the several hedges and bushes as well as the vegetable garden and fruit trees.

As you begin tending to the flowers and lush greenery, you hear the sound of footsteps approaching, her heels echoing through the air. Turning around, you see Regina stepping out onto the patio, her expression neutral. ,,Good morning Madam Mayor'' you greet her as she inspects your work carefully, unable to ignore the way your tank top exposed your muscles. She can't help but smirk, having told you several times in the past that you could call her Regina, considering you had worked for her for several years at this point. ,,How are you today?'' you ask almost absentmindedly as you tend to your work.

The brunette returns your smile, her eyes lighting up as she takes in the beauty of her garden, despite you not being able to see her expression. ,,Good morning dear'' she replies ,,Quite well, how about you?'' she speaks, which wasn't really like her. You knew she was respected in the town, especially given she was the mayor and took that role seriously but you could tell she was considerably softer with you, unsure why. She had offered you multiple times that she would be happy to offer you other housing other than her pool house but you had refused every single time, content with your living situation and being so close to your work.

,,How's the garden coming along?'' she asks and you gesture proudly to the array of flowers and plants around you. ,,It's coming along beautifully'' you say, excitement evident in your voice. ,,The roses are in full bloom and the lilies are starting to open up. Oh and your apples should be ready for picking'' you explain proudly. You notice then how her eyes sparkle with genuine interest as she listens to you talk about the garden, her admiration for your work evident. ,,It's truly remarkable what you have done here'' she remarks, her voice filled with admiration.

As the brunette continues to watch over your work, occasionally glancing at her phone to check for any new emails regarding work, your gaze drifts over to the neighbouring house, where Wilhemina lives. You catch a glimpse of her exiting her house and walking towards her car, assuming she was heading of to work. Her demeanour was much lighter, despite you not remembering an ounce of the woman you had met in a different version of reality before. She was different now, much lighter than she used to be, the dark purple replaced by a soft lilac. You can't help but smile at the sight of her, feeling an odd sense of warmth and affection wash over you, despite not understanding remotely why but you accepted it as it had been that way for as long as you can remember.

Regina follows your gaze and notices Wilhemina as well, rolling her eyes a little, tugging at her lips, seeing her ex-wife. And then with a swift motion, she leaves you be, getting ready for her day ahead. You watch as Wilhemina enters her car, catching a glimpse of her eyes finding you, her demeanour the usual one before driving off, leaving you to finish your workday. And then you spent your day the way you usually would, working til around lunchtime before taking a quick lunch break. In the afternoon, heading to some shops for some more supplies and materials, before finishing for the day. Your days were monotone really, always the same and sometimes you felt a little trapped with how the days always looked similar. But nevertheless you enjoyed it, not really having the option to do much about it and knowing you should be grateful working for Regina, considering the kindness and generosity she has been showing you since you can remember.

When Regina returns in the evening, she finds a basket with picked beautiful red ripe apples and she can't help but smile, even a little smirk tugged at her lips as she carries it inside, for a second feeling the strange urge of finding you and thanking you. In the end she decides against it, considering how late it was but you had pleased her today and she already knew just how she was going to thank you for it. And so as the next morning approaches, the sun illuminating the town of Storybrooke and her beautiful rich garden, Regina is up early, looking forward to the weekend. Today, you decided to sleep in a little, as you usually would on the weekend. By the time you make it outside, watering some plants, you already find your boss on the same patio. And you can't help but think about how beautiful she looked, in a blue silk blouse, some long black pants, exposing her heels.

,,Miss Y/L/N'' her voice rings through the garden, her heels echoing as she makes her way over to you. As you look up you take in her features, sensing that she was in a good mood today, wondering whether her work week had been good or whether it was due to some other factor. ,,Good morning'' you greet her before she begins speaking again ,,Are you free tonight?''. Her words take you by surprise before you open your mouth but the words get caught in your throat, your brain feeling a little empty. And so all you can do is nod, hoping that response would be sufficient. ,,How would you feel about joining me for dinner tonight?'' she asks, a small smirk tugged in the corner of her lips. Your mouth is slightly agape, having expected a few things but definitely not this and so again you simply nod, before she walks away, swaying her hips a little more than necessary as she walks back into the house.

And through your daze you had failed to notice, a certain redhead watching the scene unfold, not necessarily understanding every single word but the woman smart enough to connect the pieces. Furiously she balances on her cane, walking from her balcony back into her house, that unfortunately overlooks her ex wife's gardens, meaning she would often be able to see you working or Regina very obviously flirting with you. Her features are over washed with anger as the glass door bangs shut, startling you a little in the process as your eyebrows furrow, not understanding the extent of your situation yet.

As the day progresses, you find yourself lost in a whirlwind of emotions and tasks, your thoughts consumed by Regina's unexpected invitation to dinner. You go about your tasks in a daze, unable to shake off the feeling of anticipation that courses through you. And eventually evening falls and the sun dips below the horizon as you make your way towards Regina's mansion, opting for the front door as entering through the patio seemed a little off to you. You knock on the door, your palms sweating as you wait for her to answer.

Regina opens the door, her smile radiant as she welcomes you inside, she is dressed elegantly, wearing a beige dress, exposing her beautiful curves and legs, her hair styled perfectly and a hint of expensive perfume lingering in the air. ,,I'm so glad you could make it'' she says, her voice smooth and inviting.

As you step into the mansion, taking in the expensive surroundings you try hard to hide your wide eyes. Regina leads you to the dining room, where a table is set with candles, soft music playing in the background, almost making the atmosphere romantic but you quickly brush the thought of considering she was your boss, mayor to Storybrooke and definitely not interested in her gardener.

,,How would you like a glass of the best apple cider you have ever tasted?'' she asks suggestively and you simply nod, watching her leave for a moment before returning moments later. As you sit down, Regina begins pouring you both a glass, her eyes never leaving yours. ,,To us'' she says, raising her glass in a toast. You clink your glass against hers, feeling a rush of warmth at the gesture, unable to hide the trembling of your hands and how loud your heart was beating against your chest, sure that she could hear it too at this point.

Throughout the meal, Regina engages you in conversation, her wit and charm captivating you. You find yourself laughing and smiling, enjoying her company more than you ever thought possible. You aren't oblivious and you had heard the town gossip of course, often spending your free time in town, strolling through some shops or the occasional meal at granny's. You had heard about the awful gossip, that she only had her own intentions at heart, not the towns, how she was cruel. However you never saw her like that and especially tonight you don't see an inch of it in her features or her behaviour but the thought keeps crossing your mind why she was so interested in you and why she had been from the beginning, you often tried thinking back to the earlier days in Storybrooke but whenever you tried that, your brain blanked, not remembering as everything had always been the way it had been.

,,Do you have any room for some delicious apple turnovers?'' she asks and you nod, feeling full from the meal but not wanting to be rude. As she gets up to leave, you quickly reach for her own and your plate, wanting to at least make yourself useful, feeling bad for her having done all the preparations and cooking. ,,Let me'' you offer and she simply nods as the two of you carry the dishes and remaining dinner into the kitchen. You are captivated by the beauty of her house, the interior both luxurious and fancy, matching the woman currently standing by the oven. You watch as she reaches for some oven mitts, the smell instantly filling the air.

,,Smells delicious'' you praise, watching as she smiles at you before putting some on both yours and her own plate. ,,Certainly, they are after all from our garden'' she chuckles, leading you back into the dining room. And you picked it up, of course you do ,,our garden?'' you think to yourself, a little unsure if you maybe misunderstood the brunette.

The evening eventually draws to a close, the two of you in light conversation throughout several hours, more apple cider consumed, laughing with each other and smiling. And as Regina walks you to the door, a smile playing on her lips ,,Thank you for tonight'' she says, her voice soft ,,I had a wonderful time''. You can't help but return the smile, feeling a flutter of excitement in your chest. ,,Me too, thank you'' you reply, your voice barely above a whisper as you meet her eyes.

As you step outside into the cool night air, you can't help but feel a sense of longing. Regina watches you go, her heart heavy with a mix of emotions. She knows she is playing with fire, but she can't resist the pull you have on her. Meanwhile, Wilhemina watches from her window, her heart breaking as she sees you leaving Regina's mansion and the smile playing on both of your faces. She knows she should let go, having fought for several years but the sight of you with someone else fills her with a fierce jealousy she can't ignore, especially it coming from the woman who had caused her to lose you in the first place. With a heavy sigh, she turns away, her eyes filled with tears as she retreats into the darkness of her own thoughts. Missing how Regina caught a glimpse of her at the window, almost a cruel smirk playing on her lips, her head tilted upwards a little, almost smug and proud of her actions.

A few day had passed since your dinner with Regina and you had noticed how she had been even more talkative than usually, even a little touchy and you couldn't deny how beautiful she was and how kind she was treating you and had been for as long as you can remember. You had also noticed barely seeing Wilhemina since the weekend and it had worried you, wondering whether she may be sick as you hadn't seen her leave or arrive from work at her usual time and you had thought about checking in on her but you felt like you couldn't as you really didn't know the woman all that well, despite feeling like you had known her for a lifetime, unaware that you had even loved her in a different one.

Fate decides to play into your hands though as Regina finds you in the garden, working hard as usually before smiling warmly at you. As your eyes meet hers, you are taken back a little bit, looking beautiful today, wearing a silk blouse, long skirt and you couldn't help yourself and stare. ,,Would you mind doing me a favour Y/N?'' she asks and you set down your tools in order to give her your full attention ,,Of course'' you reply with a warm smile before she hands you a letter. ,,I found this in my letterbox this morning, would you mind taking it over?'' she asks, gesturing towards her ex wife's house and you take the letter despite your eyebrows furrowing a little. ,,Of course'' you announce and the brunette, ever perceptive, notices the question marks very visible on your features. But before she begins to speak you gesture her that you didn't need to know further and she appreciates it nevertheless before she heads to work, wishing you a good day in the process.

And so after finishing most of your work, your break approaching, you decide to quickly change, considering the sun had caused you to sweat a lot and change your clothes. With a slightly increased heart rate due to feeling strangely nervous, you make your way over to her house, stopping in front of her door before ringing the doorbell. And it doesn't take long before you can hear the sound of her cane tapping against the floor, approaching you, a sound that seems so familiar, yet unfamiliar at the same time. As she opens the door, you take a moment to take in her features, dressed in a lilac long skirt, similar to Regina's, the same shade for her heels and matching her suit jacket. Even the collar of her shirt matches the outfit and you can't help but wonder where the purple fetish came from. You quickly brush the thought away as her brown eyes pierce straight through you, one eyebrow raised ever so slightly.

,,Yes?'' her voice rings through the air, pulling you out of your thoughts as you can clearly sense the annoyance in her tone. ,,Um-'' you blank a moment, completely mesmerised by the redhead and forgetting your initial task. ,,Letter'' you mutter out, holding out the letter to the woman in front of you ,,Sorry- Ms Venable, I have a letter for you'' you quickly compose yourself, clearing your throat. ,,It was delivered to Regina's house'' and you can't help but notice how her eyebrows knit before she takes the letter from your shaking hands. ,,And how come you are the one delivering it?'' she questions, her voice almost laced with a hint of curiosity. ,,Um-'' you pause again, unsure what to reply before she carries on talking ,,I thought you are her gardener not her slave'' she remarks, her voice now laced with some sarcasm and you couldn't quite tell whether she was being serious or not, never really having talked to her before in this version of reality.

,,I don't mind helping out'' you announce and if Wilhemina wasn't so good at composing herself, she would have faltered at your statement, again your true kindness showing and her heart turning angry thinking about how Regina was using you, possibly even manipulating you. ,,Do you now?'' she questions with a suggestive smirk before you nod. ,,How would you feel about joining me for some errands?'' she questions suddenly, taking you by surprise as your mouth is slightly agape, your eyebrows raised in confusion. ,,Sure Ms Venable'' you announce, before she tuts ,,Call me Wilhemina'' she offers and you smile at her, before you watch her leave for a moment. Catching a glimpse of her hallway, you notice almost the same luxury, similar to Regina's home, despite it looking more homey and comfortable. She abandons the letter before grabbing her purse and balancing on her cane as she makes her way over.

As the two of you make it to her car, you are relieved that you in fact changed as otherwise this would be slightly uncomfortable. And so she begins driving towards town, some music playing in the background as you take in the scenery, always having loved this town. She parks closely to some shops and you kind of follow her pathetically like a lost puppy as she wanders through a grocery store with you, picking up some things you assume she needed for dinner, before she makes a brief stop at the pharmacy. This time you could tell she wanted you to wait outside and you simply do just that, offering to hold her bags in the meantime. You aren't quite sure about her condition, as you try to think back whether Regina had mentioned it to you before, having noticed it must be her back due to her posture and the obvious signs of pain lingering behind her brown eyes. ,,All done?'' you ask as you warmly smile at her and she nods before taking you back to her car where you help her put the bags into her trunk. ,,How would you feel about some lunch?'' she asks, again taking you by surprise, before you nod as she gestures towards granny's and you accept, loving that place and especially the grilled cheese sandwiches with all of your heart.

It doesn't take long before the two of you are seated and having food in front of you, Wilhemina going for a healthy salad and you could see the little smirk on her face when you had ordered your usual and you could tell she was judging you for the choice. ,,So tell me do you enjoy this little life of yours?'' and as you swallow your food, you can't help but wonder why she chose her words around you in such a specific way. ,,I do'' you announce happily before continuing to munch your food. ,,May I ask what you do for work?'' you ask cautiously before she fills you in for the company she works for out of town. And then you think to yourself how you never really have been out of this place, despite enjoying it. And for the remainder of lunch, you get to know the woman a little more, making her feel like much less of a stranger than she had before. You fill her in on your days and how the gardening was going and she listens intently, hiding the way every single word and being in your presence hurt in her heart as she remembered you so vividly before the curse.

,,Can I get you two anything else?'' Ruby asks before you both shake your head and you get ready to pay. ,,I've got it'' she announces as she retracts her purple wallet. As the two of you walk back towards her car you stop in your tracks as you suddenly see Regina walk over, her face unreadable, however the pace of her walk announcing she wasn't too pleased about this. ,,Well well Ms Venable'' she addresses the redhead ,,And Miss Y/L/N what a surprise'' she announces, her eyebrow raised. Wilhemina sighs and you watch as she rolls her eyes, clearly not in the mood for the brunettes antics today. You can't help but notice how the two of you were on a first name basis until now and you could tell she was annoyed. ,,I was just helping Wilhemina with some errands'' you quickly explain yourself, feeling bad as technically it was still your workday and you for sure didn't want to get in their business. ,,My my helping Wilhemina with errands'' she remarks and you quickly shut your mouth, realising no matter what you would say, you are only making this worse. ,,Save it Regina'' the redhead quickly remarks before she walks back over to her car and gestures you to follow.

,,I'll be back at work at once Regina'' you reassure before nodding politely and following Wilhemina. The mayor watches as the two of you drive off, her features angry, nostrils flaring as her plan had failed. She wanted you to go over to Wilhemina yes, hoping that maybe seeing and talking to you would send further heartache to the redhead but she for sure didn't expect the two of you actually spending time together. And so furiously, she makes her way back to work. The remainder of the drive is mostly silent and you could tell that the redhead was annoyed and you can't help but feeling bad, feeling like you are responsible for this. ,,Let me help you with these'' you offer as you reach for the shopping bags. ,,I can manage'' she announces but you are already by her door, placing them neatly on the wooden bench near her front door so she wouldn't need to bend down in order to reach them. ,,Thank you for lunch and today, I really enjoyed myself'' you thank her before overlooking the gardens and knowing you needed to head back to work. ,,Likewise'' she smirks before watching you leave.

It had been a few days since your awkward encounter with Regina and you could tell she had been avoiding you. However as you kneel in front of your work today, you hear the urgent clicking of heels approach. ,,What the hell are you doing?'' she questions, overlooking a little patch of lavender that you had been planting in the last few days. As you look up at her you can tell that she didn't approve. But she could tell by your genuine confused and shocked reaction that you had no intention of upsetting her. ,,I'm sorry Ms Mills, I thought adding some lavender might be a nice addition, I can get rid of it at once if you don't like it'' you apologise but she softens then, realising that you had no idea about the connection to her ex wife. ,,No- I'm sorry'' she apologises as you watch her internally scold herself for the unnecessary outburst. ,,I'm sorry about the other day too'' she apologises, taking you by surprise as you really didn't take her for being the one to apologise. ,,It's okay Ms-'' you begin but she cuts you off ,,None of that'' she ushers and you nod then, smiling warmly at her before she overlooks her garden, pleased with the result before catching a glimpse of Wilhemina's house. ,,How would you feel about dinner tonight?'' she offers and you find yourself smiling again, your cheeks coated in a slight red shade.

As you approach her house a few hours later, you are surprised when she opens the door and you find her fully dressed, including a jacket and handbag and you wonder whether something may have come up or whether she had forgotten. ,,Regina I-'' you begin but she can tell by your reaction that insecurity washes over you. ,,I booked us a table somewhere nice dear'' she announces and you simply smile, glad that you dressed appropriately before following her towards her car. And again Wilhemina watches, lingering by the window watching you two walk towards Regina's car before driving towards the darkness of the night, leaving her feeling empty and lonely. The brunette and you end up spending the evening over dinner, chatting, laughing and talking some more and you are so mesmerised by her presence that you fail to notice the knowing glances from some of the people in town, equally as the two of you make it back to her car as Regina takes you by surprise and wraps an arm around you. It was all playing right into the older woman's cards but yet you remained so taken back by her beauty and affection towards you that you missed it all.

,,I really enjoyed this Regina'' you smile at her as you walk her back to her house a little while later. ,,Me too dear'' she smiles and before you know it, time seems to stop for a moment as you look into her brown eyes and hers lock with yours. You lose yourself in the depths of her eyes, a beautiful tone of brown reminding you of autumn, warmth and strangely home. She startles you a little when she moves towards you, your faces now inches apart as your eyes flicker from her eyes to her lips and then she closes the gap as she takes your lips into her own. The kiss causes you to almost melt into her, your heart aching for her, glad you didn't read this wrong, wanting this moment to never stop as your life suddenly felt like it got meaning. The two of you pull away in search for oxygen and you can't help but smile as you lose yourself in her eyes again. ,,Good night dear'' she whispers before winking and leaving you outside her door, your thoughts racing as she smirks and closes her front door. Like a drunk teenager, you make your way home, again oblivious that Wilhemina had watched the scene unfold, her heart breaking at the sight despite her inner rage.

The next day, you begin work early, the sun barely having risen, the birds already singing their tunes. But you hadn't been able to sleep much since the night prior, the kiss replaying over and over again in your mind and you needed to make sure to be outside early enough to catch a glimpse of Regina. However as you watch her rush out of her front door, you can tell that something was bothering her, the phone clutched to her ears and you assume it meant some kind of town emergency as those kinda things happened regularly and something needed the mayors attention. Hours pass and you lose yourself again in your work, putting your attention on her fruit trees and the vegetable field, some of them finally ready for harvesting which you had been excited for. Meanwhile it was Wilhemina's day off and it looked like any other day off for her as she strolls through town, picking up her medication and purchasing some groceries. ,,Did you hear the mayor and gardener went on a date last night'' she overhears one of the towns gossips and she can't help but sigh heavily, hastily paying for her things before leaving, her cane echoing loudly.

And then as she begins driving home, a wave of rage and anger washes over her as she abruptly stops her car, just passing city hall and ultimately Regina's office. With angry and heavy steps she approaches her office, not caring about knocking as she enters holding onto her cane hard. Meanwhile the mayor is sitting at her desk, reading over some documents before she finds a very visible shaken Wilhemina in front of her and she can't help but smirk. ,,Well to what do I owe this pleasure?'' she begins, only infuriating the redhead further with her antics. ,,Save it Regina'' she snaps, her cane banging on the floor once. ,,What are you playing at?'' her voice rings through the office, before Regina composes herself, tilting her head a little and blinking innocently at the redhead. ,,I have no idea what you are referring to dear'' she huffs, averting her gaze but Wilhemina was far from done.

,,Why the sudden interest? why take her on a date, in town of all places?'' the redhead snaps, her anger bubbling out of her. ,,Jealous are we?'' Regina remarks with a raised eyebrows before Wilhemina fights back the lump in her throat. She couldn't believe the brunette at times, after everything that happened, after all the pain that she had caused the redhead. Regina's curse broke the redhead, despite the former evil queen predicting every piece of her curse, making every single person forget despite her and Wilhemina, even blessing them with a beautiful house, even making them share a life together, marriage. But Regina had taken everything from the redhead as she was utterly in love with you and that eventually broke them both including their marriage, despite the breaking of that coming slowly and over several years, before you eventually joined the picture and Regina decided to move you into their lives, making you her gardener of all things despite the irony of it.

,,You know I could break this pathetic curse of yours in an instant?'' Wilhemina remarks, now feeling like she has the upper hand all things considered. Regina pauses, reading the redheads features carefully, scoffing, acting as if she had no idea what her ex wife was talking about, despite knowing ever so well. ,,If I kiss her, true love's kiss will break it and she will remember'' the redhead remarks, causing Regina's eyes to widen, not remotely understanding how she could possibly know this. ,,It would never work my dear'' Regina scoffs, pretending to carry on with her work. ,,And why is that?'' Wilhemina scoffs, before the brunette fills her in. ,,She doesn't love you, she doesn't remember you'' the mayor hisses, enjoying the little power play, her eyes burning with desire. ,,Well she doesn't love you either because nothing happened last night when you kissed'' the redhead remarks in annoyance, each statement of them, causing the other one feeling more powerful.

They are both unaware that you just walked into the hallway, planning to bring Regina some lunch, figuring that she probably wouldn't get the time today, considering her busy schedule and wanting to be nice after not seeing her this morning and at the same time longing to see her again. You halt as you see the opened door and hearing raised voices, carrying a bottle and the lunch in your now shaking hands. ,,Wrong dear, I kissed her yes but I don't love her, I don't care for her'' Regina proudly smirks before Wilhemina turns on her heels, not being able to stand being in her presence for a second longer. And as the redhead leaves her office she halts in her steps as she sees your presence, visibly shaken and she worries which parts of the conversation you had heard. ,,Y/N'' she remarks, seeing your heart breaking in front of her. But she quickly understands that you must have only overheard the last one as you seem more hurt than confused.

Regina reaches the door, seeing the tears swell in your eyes before you glance at them both and leave, dropping the lunchbox and bottle in the process. ,,Shit'' she mutters under her breath and Wilhemina's eyes land on the evidence of your true kindness and heart as she figures you must have wanted to bring her ex wife some lunch and it kills her, seeing how Regina was using you like a pawn in some kind of game. ,,If you hurt her again, you will face consequences you can't even begin to imagine'' she warns, glancing at Regina, and if looks could kill, the former evil queen would be on the floor right now. Regina watches as the redhead leaves, her steps rushed as her cane bangs loudly against the marble flooring.

Despite the redheads best efforts of finding you she couldn't, knowing this must have broken you and despite feeling so angry and overtaken with jealousy, she can't even blame you as you had no fault in how Regina was playing and using you. Meanwhile you had returned home, a sobbing mess, the brunettes words repeating in your head again and again ,,I don't love her, I don't care for her''. As you sob into your pillow you couldn't believe how foolish you had been, thinking you are just a piece in their game of jealousy and knowing you should have never gotten between them considering they had been married before, not understanding the full extend of the situation yet. As Wilhemina returned home, she had attempted of finding you but it was hopeless as you didn't open the door, assuming it was Regina, who only tried hours later, feeling remorse for you overhearing what happened as her words weren't exactly true, simply wanting to annoy her ex lover in the process and confused herself as why the kiss never broke the curse.

And so as a result, you spend the next few days inside, working on the garden in the night, not wanting all your hard work go to waste as you hadn't been able to sleep either way, but not in the mood to see anyone, especially not Regina given her words and equally Wilhemina, feeling embarrassed and pathetic for her witnessing your heart breaking in front of her. Somehow it seems as the days continue passing, that your emotions are connected to the weather as the temperature had dropped significantly, causing you to be left shivering and shaking at night, unable to sleep and the heating in Regina's guest/pool house certainly wasn't sufficient to keep you warm. On the third day since the incident, Regina grows increasingly worried, not having seen you but noticing the garden in perfect shape and finding fruit and vegetables still harvested and neatly packed in baskets on her patio every night. And as the next morning approaches, she really begins feeling remorse, feeling terrible for having hurt you with her sharp words.

Pathetically she tries knocking on the door, even calling you a few times but it was pointless and as she makes her way back to her patio she sighs heavily before catching a glimpse of Wilhemina in her garden, the redhead watching the scene unfold and deciding to investigate for herself as she had been worried about you, not having seen you for a few days and any attempt of finding you unsuccessful so far. ,,Is everything okay?'' the redhead voices startles the mayor as she hastily glances from her phone to her ex wife. The brunette huffs then, stressed and not necessarily in the mood to fill her in but the concern for you causing her to give in. ,,I haven't seen Y/N in days and I'm worried'' she begins before glancing at her phone again ,,But I need to get to the office urgently'' she speaks, another incoming call ringing through the air. ,,Let me take care of it'' Wilhemina offers, her features matching the brunettes concern before the brunette for the first time in a long time, genuinely smiles warmly at her and muttering a quick ,,Thank you''. She turns on her heels, reaching for her handbag that she abandoned on her patio ,,You know where the spare keys are'' she ushers before leaving.

And so Wilhemina retreats the spare keys, walking over to the guest house before overlooking the gardens and finding a lavender patch, the sight warming her heart. She knocks a few times, her knocks eventually growing more impatient, the concern lingering on her features ,,Y/N it's me open the door'' she instructs but it's hopeless and so she unlocks the door, stepping inside carefully. She almost didn't remember what the place looked like but she couldn't deny that it was nice, small but you kept it tidy, neat and comfortable. As she glances around the corner, she catches a glimpse of you on the sofa and she can feel the cold prick on her skin and run a shiver down her spine. As she takes another step, abandoning the spare keys on the small kitchen counter, she finds you on the sofa, bundled in several blankets as you shiver uncontrollably. The sight almost kills her and she is quick to rush over, before calling out your name again.

Struggling, you manage to open your eyes and see a glimpse of the redhead, brushing it off as another fever dream as you expected anyone but her. The back of her hand softly comes into contact with your forehead and she gasps then, feeling the temperature and by your pale expression being able to tell that you had fallen ill. ,,Y/N can you hear me?'' she tries softly, the worry gnawing at her insides at the lack of your response before. And then your eyes snap open, realising this wasn't another fever dream and that the redhead was standing there ,,Wilhemina'' you whisper, your voice sounding broken, tired and small. ,,I think I'm a bit sick'' you struggle to mutter out and the redhead can't help but chuckle at your statement, finding you so adorable despite your vulnerability. ,,A bit little one?'' she repeats your statement, her eyes showing genuine concern. ,,Let me get some things I'll be right back''.

And so Wilhemina is quick to go back to her house, returning moments later with a thermometer and some cold medicine. She ushers you to sit and take the medication, checking your temperature and seeing how high it is. In the meantime she had messaged Regina, letting her know that you are sick, somehow feeling the urge to let her know all things considered. It doesn't take long before the effects of the medicine mixed with your symptoms cause you to fall asleep again but the redhead remains by your side for a while, deciding to check on you a little while later again. Meanwhile Regina had finished work a little early, making her way over to you immediately, Wilhemina having left the door unlocked as you didn't really seem in the right state to open it yourself. As Regina enters, she can feel the cold and she finds you sitting on the sofa, having woken up a little while ago. Her features are tense as this was the first time since seeing you at her office the other day. ,,Y/N are you okay?'' she asks, almost a little nervously, trying her best to cover up her own anxiety.

,,I'm fine'' you mutter, despite the pounding headache making it a little hard to concentrate, her words still linger on your mind and you are confused as to what she was doing there considering she made it so clearly that she didn't care for you. ,,Y/N it's freezing in here'' she remarks, shivering a little herself but you ignore her statement, feeling both nauseous and heartbroken. ,,Please let me put you in one of my guest rooms, it will be much warmer than in here'' she tries but you simply look at her before muttering ,,I said I'm fine'' and she leaves you be then, glancing at you one more time before leaving, feeling awful. The door opens again five minutes later and you can't help but sigh ,,Regina- I said I'm fine'' you huff but you quickly stop yourself when seeing Wilhemina walk inside, carrying a container of soup and a spoon in her hands. Your features soften, feeling bad about your statement and bad that she was going through such lengths for you as of right now you didn't feel like you deserved it.

,,Here'' she offers warmly, before taking a seat beside you and you hesitate, not remotely feeling hungry but you didn't want the gesture to go to waste so you carefully begin eating some spoons and instantly feeling relief as the warm liquid begins warming you a little. ,,How are you feeling?'' she smiles warmly at you as her concerned eyes meet yours. ,,Better, thank you'' you return the smile before the room fills with silence. And you can't help but notice her shivering a little as well ,,Typical of Regina to let you stay in here without central heating'' she remarks and you don't say anything, not wanting any part in their play anymore. ,,Why don't you come stay with me til it gets warmer?'' she offers and your eyes meet hers, appreciating the gesture. ,,Thank you but I'm okay'' you reassure, leading the spoon with warm soup to your mouth again. ,,Y/N you are sick and it's freezing in here'' she remarks sternly. ,,The least I can do is offer you a warm room'' she adds before you stop her ,,Wilhemina I appreciate it but Regina has already offered the same'' you explain before her eyebrow shoots up in surprise.

,,Then why on earth would you want to stay in this cold place?'' she questions and you gulp then ,,I don't want to stay with Regina'' you explain, before the events from a few days ago linger on her mind, the concern over you from today almost causing her to forget but she nods understandingly before her eyebrows furrow. ,,Why won't you stay with me?'' she asks before you avert your gaze. ,,I don't want to intrude'' you explain before she scoffs. ,,Y/N you couldn't ever intrude, now come on, get some things'' she ushers and this time you can't even fight her, feeling both sick, exhausted and terribly cold. And so on shaky legs, you put some things in a bag before following her to her house, the moon illuminating the now quiet town of Storybrooke. Almost in a daze you follow her, feeling the pounding headache return, your body shaking uncontrollably as she leads you upstairs, towards a room and you are quick to sit on the bed, feeling like your legs would give in any moment.

Wilhemina is quick to turn the heating on in the room, walking downstairs to fetch some water and more medication for you and as she returns she finds you on the bed, already asleep still shivering and shaking. She can't help but frown at the sight, quickly tugging you in and making you comfortable before opting for an armchair by the window, her back feeling a little sore after all the moving and bending. And as her eyes land upon you, she can't help but feel her heart aching, having her little one so close but you had no idea who she was truly, how she loved you, how she was an enemy to you at first but you captivated her heart and the memories of holding you close linger on her mind just before the curse, when she whispered her love confessions, begging you to remember no matter what happens but you didn't remember and it broke her, causing some tears to stream down her tired features as she continues looking over your shaking sleeping form. As the night wears on, Wilhemina doesn't move an inch, sincerly hoping that you wouldn't wake and find her staring at you but she couldn't help herself, having missed you so much that it nearly killed her and she didn't mind the pain in her back as long as she could spend one more night with you, despite you being so incredibly far away.

And as the next morning arrives, you wake up, your eyes slowly opening at the bright sensation from the sunrise, beautiful shades of yellow and orange coating the room. At first your eyebrows furrow a little, unfamiliar with the surroundings until your eyes land upon the redhead woman sitting asleep in an armchair at the other corner of the room and you then remember the events from the night prior. ,,Wilhemina?'' you ask a little confused before she instantly wakes, her breath hitching before she composes herself. ,,Y/N, are you okay?'' she almost mumbles, before balancing on her cane and walks over to you. ,,Yes but what are you doing here?'' you whisper as you look into her brown eyes as she hovers nearby the bed. ,,Well this is my house you know'' she remarks, causing you to raise an eyebrow. ,,I know but-'' you pause then looking at the armchair where she was sleeping but choosing to remain quiet. ,,How are you feeling?'' she asks, her hand travelling to your forehead and noticing how you still feel a little warm but a lot better, as well as the colour now back on your beautiful face.

,,Much better thank you'' you remark before quickly standing up, again feeling like an intruder in her home. ,,What are you doing?'' she asks a little confused before you whisper ,,I'm just leaving, I'm sorry for intruding'' but she is having none of that. ,,Nonsense Y/N, you are staying with me until that heating situation gets fixed'' and before you can open your mouth to protest she gives you a look, almost a scolding one and you knew no matter what you would say she wouldn't allow it so you simply smile thankfully at her. The following week you spend with the redhead woman, at first having a hard time to adjust and not feel like an intruder in her home but you couldn't shake the feeling that she enjoyed your company and so you allowed it, you working in Regina's garden throughout the day as soon as you feel better, Wilhemina working and returning to you in the evening, you often providing her with a meal either from granny's or asking if you could use her kitchen. And she got so lost in it all that sometimes when she returned in the evening, it almost seemed normal, having you by her side, smiling warmly at her as you asked about her day.

As the weekend approaches, any remainder of the sickness now gone and Wilhemina successfully getting Regina to install some heating and that being done, you know you needed to move back, still feeling a little strange with the whole thing considering she was Regina's ex wife and you still feeling like a lost piece in their game and only adding to their very obvious issues. And so by Saturday, you stand downstairs with the remainder of your belongings in your bag, seeing as Wilhemina walks from the kitchen towards the hallway, her features neutral despite her heart breaking, wanting nothing more than to have you close, than to have you stay with her. ,,Thank you so much for letting me stay here again'' you remark, meeting her eyes from across the hallway. She moves closer then before speaking ,,You are welcome li- Y/N''. You hesitate, not wanting to just leave like that and feeling the strange urge to say something else, despite unsure what. ,,I hope you won't be a stranger'' she announces and her features almost seem bitter then and you still couldn't tell her true intentions, despite the kindness she had been showing you this week.

,,Definitely not'' you chuckle before thinking about it for a moment ,,Maybe I could cook for you again soon?'' you offer and she nods then, having loved your cooking this past week. ,,I would love that'' she remarks and with those words she watches you leave, her heart breaking as she feels like losing you all over again. And she considered the entire week, of filling you in, of taking you across the border of town, of kissing you, anything to have you back in her life but she couldn't, not wanting to rip you out of your life and making your whole reality fall apart, knowing there was a risk that you wouldn't remember, Regina's words still lingering on her mind how you don't love her, how you could never love her. And so she retreats back into the darkness of her loneliness, you retreating back to your home, only in the afternoon making it outside again and beginning on some work that you had missed this week due to being ill before.

And the remainder of your weekend and the week following is almost as monotone as it had been before, working in the garden, avoiding Regina, not seeing Wilhemina a lot as she had been working but whenever you did you couldn't help but smile, feeling much closer to her than before. Towards the middle of the week, you decide to make a brief stop at the shops, feeling the odd sense to thank the woman for letting her stay with you. You had texted her whether you could maybe cook for her on the weekend and she agreed gladly. And as you browse through town in your lunchbreak, the sound of a cane startles you, thinking it was Wilhemina at first but quickly finding Mr. Gold standing in front of you with a slight smirk, not really knowing him all that much, knowing about his store and really only seeing him from time to time and greeting him but nothing more than that. ,,Good day Miss Y/L/N'' he greets you and it takes you by surprise, greeting him in return. ,,I have heard you have grown closer to mayor mills and her ex-wife lately'' he remarks, causing you to raise an eyebrow, not expecting the man to be involved in town gossip of all things.

You don't say anything, simply staring at him before he speaks again ,,I find it fascinating, how true love can break any curse, don't you?'' he remarks before leaving you standing a little dumbfounded, trying to figure out what his statement meant, wondering if he possibly meant their marriage by the curse? You brush the thought off quickly, making your way back home and continue your working. And by the time the weekend finally approaches, you are beyond excited, even buzzing as you had missed Wilhemina terribly. And you knew you shouldn't as you could feel your heart rate increasing whenever you thought about her and it reminds you of the feeling you had towards Regina, barely two weeks ago and you knew you shouldn't play with fire but you couldn't help it, considering how they equally had you captivated. As soon as the evening arrives, you find yourself in front of her front door, a basket with dinner you had already prepared.

As she opens the door, her features are soft and welcoming as she leads you into the kitchen, her house now familiar as you had stayed with her for a week. In a swift motion, you serve dinner for her, opening the bottle of wine you had equally brought over, before the two of you make it into her dining room and ease into conversation, filling each other in about your weeks. ,,This was delicious thank you Y/N'' she praises after dessert and you cleaning all the dishes. ,,I have one more thing for you'' you remark, before walking back into the kitchen ,,Now if it's any more food I think I'm gonna explode'' she chuckles and you quickly shake your head before handing her an item, wrapped in some paper. Her eyes meet yours, questioning the gesture before you encourage her to open it up and reluctantly she does, the paper exposing some lavender soap, the smell instantly hitting both of your senses. ,,I made this'' you exclaim excitedly and her shocked eyes meet yours, taken back and deeply touched by your gesture.

,,You made this?'' she repeats your words before you nod excitedly and her heart melts at the gesture, watching as your eyes sparkle almost the way they had before. She wasn't one to recieve gifts often and she for sure didn't know how to handle it and so she simply smiles gratefully at you before the two of you make it to her living room, easing into some conversation, sitting on her sofa by the fireplace, each with a glass of wine in your hands. ,,I enjoy having you around'' she admits, taking you by surprise a little, almost feeling a strange sense of a deja vu that you really only could brush off for now. As time flees by, the two of you move in evidently closer, and before you know it your faces are inches apart, the redhead woman definitely the one taking the initiative as she longed for you, longed to feel your lips on hers, longed to have her little one close. And you hesitated, Regina's words and actions still lingering on your mind, wanting to kiss the redhead with all your being but unable to think about anything else but the consequences.

The butterflies return in your stomach as her eyes travel from yours to your lips and so you close your eyes, ignoring your thoughts before moving closer but now Wilhemina is the reluctant one, Regina's words suddenly lingering on her mind ,,She doesn't love you, she could never love you''. Her own insecurities get a hold of her as she pulls away, leaving you there in front of her, eyes closed and expecting her to kiss you any moment and it breaks her as you open your eyes and she sees your heart breaking again ,,Y/N I'm sorry'' she whispers, fighting back her own tears. ,,I don't think we should'' she admits, her features filled with guilt as you fight back your tears and the lump in your throat, the pain of rejection hitting you like a slap in the face by reality. ,,It's okay Wilhemina, I understand'' you muster up your best smile, trying to compose yourself before setting down the glass of wine and reaching for your coat. ,,Y/N- wait'' she tries, as she catches up with you in her hallway. ,,It's okay really, thank you for tonight'' you mutter and with those words you leave, tears streaming down your cheeks as you make it back home, now definitely understanding you should have never became a part in their twisted game of jealousy and their once perfect marriage.

As the night wears on, you find yourself unable to sleep, your thoughts circling around both women, your eyes traveling around your home, trying to think of anything that could rid the heartache. And then your eyes fall upon a crate of apple cider, that you assume Regina had left for you and you can't help it, shrugging before retreating the bottle and walking outside, sitting down in the garden before drowning your sorrows while staring at the bright moon. Ironically the sense of lavender hangs in the air and it almost makes you sick, seeing the redhead woman in your memory, the almost kiss and her rejection. Equally, Regina had been unable to sleep, eventually also abandoning the thought of getting any sleep as she retreats to the kitchen for some water before seeing your shadow in the garden and as she steps onto her patio, she feels the strange longing to see you, talk to you as you had been avoiding her for weeks now.

,,Y/N?'' she whispers softly, before kneeling down, finding you sitting in between the lavender patches, bottle of apple cider in your hands. You don't say anything, the effects from the several glasses of wine, the apple cider and your loneliness all mixing into one, slightly unaware of your surroundings and not caring about her presence. ,,Are you okay?'' she asks as she decides to sit beside you, hating the thought of her favourite satin pyjamas possibly staining with grass and mud but brushing it off for now. ,,Not really Gina'' you sigh heavily, definitely unaware of anything as you had never called her that before and wouldn't in any clear state of mind. ,,What's wrong darling?'' she asks, the genuine concern lingering on her beautiful features. ,,I thought she liked me'' you huff before her eyebrows furrow, placing a comforting hand on your tired shoulders. ,,Who?'' she asks a little confused, her ego causing her to believe you had been talking about her before. ,,Wilhemina'' you mutter out, a stray tear streaming down your cheek. ,,We almost kissed tonight'' you admit which causes her eyes to widen ,,You what?!'' she questions, her heart beating fast thinking about the possibly consequences of that.

,,But she doesn't like me and neither do you'' you sigh in defeat, your shoulders slumping as you down the rest of the bottle. Despite feeling relief at your statement and the two of you not kissing, she can't help but frown, feeling bad seeing you like this and despite it all not wanting to cause you any pain because unlike her behaviour lately and her actions, Regina did have feelings for you. ,,I do like you Y/N'' she tries, hooking her finger under your chin to make you look at her. And as you look at her, you meet her brown eyes, the way they ached for your pain and how she wanted to make it all go away. ,,You do?'' you ask almost hopelessly and confused. ,,Yes honey and I think-'' she hesitates then, assuming you wouldn't remember any of this in the morning anyway ,,And I'm sure Wilhemina does too, in fact I know she does'' she smiles warmly at you, causing you to smile and close your eyes as sleepiness and a sense of fatigue washes over you. ,,Come on, let's get you inside'' she offers and with an arm wrapped around her, she leads you back inside, getting you comfortable in your bed, before tugging you in, leaving some painkillers and water with you, knowing there was a hangover coming for sure.

And the hangover definitely greeted you in the morning, a pounding headache and instantly closing your eyes again as soon as you opened them, swallowing the painkillers beside you before sleep washes over you again. And when you wake again, the memories from last night slowly creep back into your mind, remembering the evening with Wilhemina, almost kissing her, and a brief encounter with Regina despite not remembering anything from the conversation with her. And so as the days continue in its monotone way, you decide to focus more on yourself, your work, polite with each of them whenever you saw them but wanting to focus more on yourself. But despite your best efforts, the only thing lingering on your mind was them, their marriage and how you had become between that lately. And for some reason the words from Mr. Gold had replayed on your mind a lot ,,True love can break any curse'' still thinking he was talking about their marriage. And so within the last few days as another weekend approached, you had decided to take matters into your own hands, to fix this, fix the damage you had caused.

It was cheeky really, texting both Wilhemina and Regina to meet you at your place tonight, both of them surprised and hopeful for your forgiveness and wanting to see you. But you couldn't shake the feeling that they needed to talk this out and so after Wilhemina walked into your home, finding it empty, only the dining table set with some fresh dinner, the smell making her mouth water, you were quick to sneak around the back, watching as Regina walked in before locking the door, hoping to give them a few hours this way to talk things through, to bring them closer again, Mr. Gold words still on your mind. ,,What is this?'' Regina hisses as she sees the redhead sitting by the dining table, the same confused expression on her face. ,,Y/N asked me to meet her here'' Wilhemina remarks before Regina's eyebrow raises. ,,Me too'' she announces, holding up her phone exposing the text message. ,,Screw this'' Regina hisses, quickly abandoning the redhead and walking towards the door only to find it locked.

,,What game is she playing at?'' Regina remarks annoyed, not wanting to spend her evening with her ex wife under any circumstances. Wilhemina can't help but smirk, her features much softer than usual before she remarks ,,You do have to admit, it's funny of her to parent trap us like this'' she chuckles lowly before the brunette simply rolls her eyes, trying to find another exit, even considering of breaking out through a window but Wilhemina stopping her. ,,Come on, you really can't spend two hours with me?'' the redhead asks, some seriousness in her question after all. And so the two of them eat, feeling both hungry as they both enjoyed your cooking, despite the death glances they exchanged, Wilhemina finding the whole thing rather amusing and so much like you. ,,Tell me, why didn't you kiss her?'' Regina asks after a long silence, causing the redhead to meet her eyes, not expecting her to know about it. ,,I-'' Wilhemina begins speaking but the words get caught in her throat. ,,You could have broken the curse you know? she loves you'' Regina remarks, causing some tears to swell in the redheads eyes. ,,I can see it in her features, just like before'' the mayor recalls and this causes Wilhemina to falter, sighing heavy as her heart aches with regret and longing.

,,And what would you have done if that happened? killed us both?'' Wilhemina questions, causing the brunette to scoff. ,,Of course not'' she huffs, the comment hurting her as since and even before the curse she had tried her hardest to redeem herself with the people she had hurt in the past. The room fills with silence, you meanwhile sitting on Regina's patio, hoping sincerly your plan would work and that they wouldn't murder you afterwards. ,,For what it's worth I'm sorry'' the mayor sighs, knowing at this point the curse was mere days away from breaking by the feelings you and the redhead had developed. ,,You are?'' Wilhemina questions, almost sarcastically with a raised eyebrow and Regina nods then. ,,All I ever wanted was for you to be happy'' the former evil queen admits, causing the redhead to lock eyes as they now sit beside each other on the sofa. ,,If that's true then why all this? why this curse?'' she questions, unsure whether she could believe her ex wife. ,,It was too late by the time we developed feelings for her, the curse was done'' she admits before pausing ,,I wanted us to be happy here together but I thought I was losing you because I know you love her'' Regina admits, for the first time in years truly laying out her true feelings.

And Wilhemina could tell how much time had passed and how much Regina had changed, considering she once believed that love was nothing more than weakness. ,,But she loves you too and she did back then'' Wilhemina remarks, causing a stray tear to run down the brunettes features. ,,Do you really think that would have worked, with us three?'' Regina questions before Wilhemina's features soften again, wiping the brunettes tears before nodding. And yet their eyes lock again, time seeming to stop as after all had been said and done, they suddenly feel drawn to each other, Wilhemina for the first time since it all, really seeing Regina again and not the things she had done and the pain she had caused her and in return the brunette truly feels remorse, knowing now the three of you could have led a life together if she only allowed it to happen. And as it had been several hours, you walk back towards the door, beginning to feel incredibly sorry and wanting to unlock the door. However as you approach, you watch as they are inches apart, smiling at yourself for having achieved what you wanted as their lips slowly meet and despite it hurting a little, you knew you could probably move on, happy to at least have fixed their relationship or at least given it a start.

However, as their lips meet, a bright yellow sensation washes over you, over all of town as you blink for a few times, suddenly a wave of memories crashing through your body, causing you to almost lose your balance. Equally their eyes widen, never expecting them to be true love after all but their admissions tonight, enough proof of just that and that their love for each other and you was stronger than Regina's curse. Wilhemina's eyes widen as she watches the brunettes fear, knowing that despite her best efforts pre curse and in Storybrooke, a lot of people would be after her and despite the redhead efforts to calm her, the only thing she wants to do is find you. And so with a swift motion she balances on her cane, finding you in the darkness of the night, standing in the garden, the door long unlocked as she finds you ,,Y/N'' she calls out, hoping with her whole being that you would remember. And of course you do, seeing her so vividly before the curse broke and her words as she hold you close ,,Mina'' you almost whimper, tears streaming down your cheeks as you almost run into her arms, wrapping around her and she doesn't let go, having waited for this moment for a lifetime. ,,Oh little one'' she breathes out, quick to catch your lips in a kiss before wrapping her arms around you again.

The two of you lose each other in the moment, holding onto each other as if making up for all the years that you had missed each other. Your hearts beat loudly against your chests as she holds her darling girl close, before she senses you tensing in her arms, letting go of you to see your scared expression as your eyes land upon Regina, who stands by your house, her face filled with guilt and remorse. Reluctantly, Wilhemina shields you a little, unsure what Regina's response would be like to the curse breaking, worried that this meant the return of the evil queen but to her surprise it doesn't, the brunette taking some steps closer before meeting your eyes. ,,I am so sorry'' she whispers, tears streaming down her features before brushing past you, almost defeatedly walking towards her house to brace for the impact of her actions. ,,Regina wait'' you call out, leaving Wilhemina's grasp for a moment as she turns to face you. ,,Where are you going?'' you ask almost confused before she chuckles lowly through tears ,,Await my fate, I assume a lot of people will want me dead'' she remarks, not in fear more in acceptance of her own actions.

,,I truly hope you two get the happy ending you deserve'' she smiles painfully but her words and eyes filled with honesty. You glance at Wilhemina behind you, who listens to her words in pain and despite it all, despite the pain she had caused and despite a part of you scared of her dark side, over the last years you had gotten to know her, even lover her and see her true colours. ,,There is no happy ending without you Regina'' you remark, causing for her to meet your eyes with a shocked expression, her mouth open as if she was going to speak before she glances at Wilhemina. The redhead simply stands behind you with the proudest expression, so utterly in love with your kindness and the events from tonight reminding her of the love she once had and still has for Regina. But the brunette couldn't trust your words, knowing you may be forgiving but worried Wilhemina could never trust her again despite their kiss breaking the curse. ,,I agree little one'' she remarks, catching Regina by surprise. ,,Let's get inside and figure this out'' the redhead instructs.

And so at last, the three of you get a chance to reveal your true feelings, Regina talking about what led her to cast the curse, the genuine remorse she was feeling for you both and the town and how she wanted to make amends. And as the three of you lay in each other's arms, holding each other close and drying each other's tears, you knew that this would be a long road ahead. Knowing that in fact the town was going to want to find Regina and hold her responsible but you and Wilhemina already had a plan for dealing with that. And you knew tonight wasn't merely enough to heal, to forgive and forget but all you had wanted all along was to be in their arms and so for now all you can do is enjoy just that, burying the painful memories in the back of your mind and letting go to replace them with new ones, happy ones with the love's of your life.

[obsessedelusional]

religious trauma but make it gay

masterlist

paring ✦ Bella Ramsey x fem!Reader

summary ✦ Bella was your childhood best friend. The one person you felt like you could tell anything. So you do exactly that, coming out to them when you two were still young. Only for Bella to push you away. What happens when they show up at your work several years later?

word count ✦ 3,500ish

authors note ✦ I’m so in love with Bella Ramsey and there’s barely nothing out there. So I took it upon myself lmao hope y’all enjoy!!! Also I’ve never written for a real person so I hope this ok request for Bella open bc I’m a simp rn

COMMENTS AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!!

⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹

several years ago

“I think I’m gay.” You admit to your childhood best friend, Bella. The two of you sat in the school yard, parked under a tree.

“What?” She asks, forcing you to repeat the statement you’ve been trying to find the courage to say for months now.

“I think I like girls.” You further explain.

“That’s a sin. You can’t like girls.” Bella spits, bringing tears to you eyes.

“Bella-“ You say their name, letting the tears fall as they interrupt you.

“It’s a sickness, you can get help. My pastor will know exactly what to do.” She says, entirely seriously. Taking your hands in theirs, you quickly push them way. You can’t believe what your hearing.

“I don’t need help. I needed my friend to be there for me.” You stand up from the floor, overwhelmed by the entire situation.

“I don’t think-“ Bella hesitates.

“I don’t think we can be friends anymore.” Her words tremble like their unsure as they come out.

“I knew you were religious but this takes it to a whole another level.” You croak before leaving Bella sat alone under that tree. Part of you thought they’d come back, apologize to you after some time passed. That never happened, ten years of friendship over because of you opened your mouth about your sexuality. At the time you regretted saying anything at all, wishing you had just kept it bottled up inside.

The worst part was when their mother called a couple weeks after the incident basically outing you, offering your mother her pastors number. To your surprise your mom politely declined, she accepted you fully for who you were. It was a bit awkward at first at home but eventually everything went back to normal. That summer you attended your first Pride Parade and felt so seen that the coming school year you came out publicly. Considering the two of you were in the same grade you still saw them around, although never speaking to them again.

After a few years Bella landed her first huge roll in Game of Thrones, leaving your guys hometown behind. You didn’t have to see her face around anymore. Part of you happy for them but sad you couldn’t be in their life to support them. Only to remember they never supported you when you need them most.

present day

It had been several years since you came out, now living your most authentic life. Since then you had a few relationships, nothing too serious. Normally only lasting a few months before breaking up. You had graduated high school, started college shortly after. You got into the college you’d been dreaming of and the major you always imagined yourself as. Your college was a few hours from your home town so you occasionally saw people from there at your part time job. A couple days a week you were a barista at this cute little coffee shop right on the corner of the busiest street.

“What can I get you?” You ask blindly, going through the motions of a transaction.

“Y/N?” The voice on the other side of the counter asks, causing you to look up from the cash register. Looking up you’re greeted by the girl who you hadn’t seen since that depressing day. The day you lost your best friend.

“I can’t believe you work here.” They say, their voice warm.

“Yup.” You say flatly.

“What can I get you?” You ask, trying to quicken this interaction.

“The film I’m working on is filming just down the street for the next few weeks. I’ve been trying to find you for years, you have like no social media.” They admit, completely disregarding your attempt to not make small talk.

“Can I get you something?” You asks again, uninterested in what they have to say.

“Damn I deserve that.” They sigh before muttering off their order and paying. He walks over to the pick up area and you start making their drink. Every time you look up from your work they’re already staring. You can’t help but look too, they’ve changed so much. You’ve seen things about them online and people from your home town loved to talk about the girl who made it big. Always asking, “Didn’t you used to be friends with Bella?”

Once you’re done with their drink, you walk over to where they stand and set their drink down on the counter.

“Y/N wait.” They plead before you can turn your back to them. Against your better judgment you stop, briefly making eye contact. Saying nothing but signaling with your eyes to speak.

“I’m so sorry. I know what I did was shitty. I haven’t stopped thinking about that day since. While I’m still in town I’d like to apologize better like take you out or something so we can talk.” They explain, almost rambling their words.

“I understand if you don’t want to but here’s my phone number. Consider giving me a call or a text or anything, please.” They smile reassuringly pleading with you one last time, passing you a small folded up paper. They leave the coffee shop, drink in hand. You catch your self watching them leave, mind wandering on what you’re gonna do with their number.

Part of you wants to throw it away. An even bigger part of you wants to find out what would happened if you contacted Bella. Maybe their viewpoints have changed, it’s the least you can hope for. Against your better judgement you slip the small piece of paper in your phone case, deciding you’ll worry about it later. The rest of the work day is slow, painfully slow. Nothing to keep your mind distracted from thinking about Bella.

—

“I should be good, if you’re ready to take off.” Your coworker speaks, disrupting your spiraling thoughts.

“Okay,” is all you can say before rushing to clock out. Grabbing your belongings and thanking your coworker before leaving.

Once home you reach for the folded up piece of paper that’s been living in your phone case all day. You hesitate for a few moments before finally mustering up the courage to open it. All that is reads is their phone number, nothing else. You’re not sure how long your sat there staring at the piece of paper but eventually you decide to just shoot them a text.

you: hey it’s y/n

You don’t hear anything back that night. You stay up later then normal stressing about the entire situation. Imagining that it was all some elaborate set up, Bella’s sat up laughing at how stupid you could be to think that they’d want apologize.

The next morning arrives, your alarm goes off bright and early. You have a long day of classes ahead of you. You rush getting ready, picking out the most basic clothes you own. Not it the mood to try, exhausted from the lack of sleep from Bella’s sudden return to your life.

“Girl you good?” A girl you had always been friendly towards in your nine am class asks. You can never remember her name.

“It’s it that obvious?” You let out an exasperated laugh.

“No offense. Your just usually all dolled up and suddenly you look not dolled up. You just look tired.” She laughs.

“Dolled up?” You ask, curiously. For the first time truly noticing the girl who’s always sat near you.

“Yeah you always got them eye lashes and stuff. Not that you don’t look cute today, you always look cute.” They explain poorly. You can’t help but laugh at their way to describe makeup.

“Too tired this morning. Thanks I think?” You smile, she smiles back before the professor walks in and starts class. For a brief moment you forget about the lack of response from Bella. Too busy thinking about the attractive person who low-key just flirted with you. Only for that to be quickly forgotten when your phone vibrates from your pocket. You slyly pull it out laying it flat on your desk, where the professor can’t see. It is Bella, you catch yourself smiling at her name popping up. Stopping yourself immediately from having that type of reaction.

Bella: hey sorry I didn’t respond sooner super late work day only to wake up even earlier to work some more but I have tomorrow off so can we please get together

You decide you’ll respond but make them wait, not nearly as long as you waited. But you’ll stick it to them, make them wait till your out of class. The rest of the period is spent mentally drafting your response. Are you really after all these years ready to meet up with Bella? Maybe.

When class is over you shove all your belongings your bag, rushing to leave so you can send your text. Only to be stopped by that girl from before.

“What class do you have next?” She asks.

“Uhm,” You have to think about it for a moment too distracted by the phone burning a hole in your pocket.

“English in Butcher Hall at one.” You blurt out once you can remember. Normally you either go back to your dorm, grab lunch or study in the library. Today you had planned on going back to your dorm, knowing you weren’t going to be capable of studying.

“Dope. You wanna get lunch or something? I don’t have class till 1 too.” They explain, a smile on their face.

“Oof,” You say aloud, regrettably. The laugh almost as if they’re confused.

“I totally would but I got stuff I have to do before my next class.” You explain, sort of lying. Unsure why your lying just so you can hurriedly respond to Bella.

“That’s fine. Another time maybe?” She asks.

“Yeah.” You smile before walking off, back to your dorm room. They wave goodbye as you leave. When your out of their reach, you pull your phone out and type your message.

you: tomorrow works, I have one class in the morning. I’ll be done around noon. After that is ok

bella: sounds good wanna grab lunch at one?

you: yeah

Bella responds in a short time, sending you the address of a restaurant you never heard of before. You decide not respond anymore, deciding that any talking that needs to be done can be done tomorrow.

—

You had woken up early enough to actually get ready today. Or “dolled up” as the girl from your class would say. Thankfully you didn’t have that class with her today, knowing you couldn’t handle that along with all that is already going on.

After class, you walk quickly back to you dorm. Using the hour you have to dress cuter, fixing up your makeup. Mentally preparing yourself for the conversation that is about to be had. You pull up the address Bella gave you and it’s a cute little Italian restaurant. That’s always been your favorite, for long as you can remember. You wonder for a moment if they remember or if it’s just a coincidence. The drive is short, too nervous to listen to music. Letting your inner dialogue fill the silence. You park near the front door, looking down at the clock on your dash and you have a few minutes to spear. You phone goes off and it’s Bella.

bella: I’m here just let the hostess know your here to see me

All of a sudden it all starts to feel real. Your going to be having lunch with Bella after several years of no contact after coming out to them. It’s not too late to back out, you think for a moment. You have too though, you’ve made it this far. It’s a quick walk from your car to the door, you let yourself in. Greeted by a girl at the hostess desk.

“Hello!” The hostess beams.

“Hi I’m here to meet with Bella.” You explain.

“Right this way,” She smiles grabbing a menu and leading you towards the back of the restaurant where it’s more secluded. Pass the view of the back of the hostess head you can see Bella sat, scrolling through their phone. The sight of them biting their nails, puts some of your worries at ease. Knowing that they’re just as nervous makes this a little easier. Bella looks up from their phone, smiling brightly at you when they notice you.

“You still like Italian?” They ask.

“Yeah I do.” You smile because they remembered.

“I’m so glad you actually showed up.” Bella says examining you.

“After what I did I always thought you’d want nothing to do with me forever.” They explain, you quickly notice them fiddling with the table cloth.

“I’m so sorry.” They say now with a bit of sadness to their voice. Your not entirely ready to forget what happened but the sight of them is tempting you to forgive them on the spot.

“You know you haven’t grown much?” You tease as an attempt to lighten the situation.

“What?” They ask confused.

“You’ve always been so short and that hasn’t changed. You’ve cut all your hair off, I like it.” You let out an awkward laugh.

“We’ll when everyone is old and looks old I’ll still look young.” They laugh, you can tell they’re finally beginning to relax.

“Plus in my line of work it’s a plus. I can continue to play younger roles as I age.” They explain. Which leads to you asking them what they’re in town filming for. The conversation begins to flow smoothly, smiles never leaving either of your faces. You two order and wait for the food to come over. When the conversation eventually lulls, Bella’s face is screaming like she has something she wants to say but can’t get it out. You eyes dart to their fingers that anxiously fidget with the utensils in from of them.

“It’s okay,” You reassure them resting your hand on theirs. You feel them relax under your touch.

“I’m gay.” They spit out.

“Really?” You ask.

“Which is why I reacted the way I did when you told me. I’ve always had feelings for… women. I was raised to believe that it was wrong. I struggled internalized homophobia for years only recently coming to terms with my sexuality. I was so scared at the time.” Bella admits, your hand still rests on theirs. They look to you like they’re waiting for a response.

“I forgive you.” You respond.

“I would of done this sooner. Your just not the easiest person to find.”

“It’s fine Bella. Just promise we’ll stay in touch now, okay?”

“I promise.”

—

They did exactly that. For the rest of their time in town, when ever your schedules aligned you two we’re together. Or they would find any excuse to leave set and stop by for a quick visit when you were working. Getting to know each other all over again, you couldn’t help it forming a crush on them. They made you so happy, the most comfortable you felt around someone in forever. You finally got your Bella back.

Only for her to have to leave you after a few weeks. Her film was moving locations so they’d be several hours away. It was only for a month but you were so torn up about it. They had promised as soon as that month was over, they’d be back in your home town and visiting you as much as possible.

It was a bit awkward when that girl form your class kept making the moves on you. One day your finally let them down gently. It was entirely because of the slight chance with Bella you thought you might have.

You finally got your Bella back only to have separate again. This time though, you were friends. That month was spent on face time calls when ever you got the chance. Always waking up to good morning texts and not going to sleep until you two had a chance to talk on the phone. You can’t remember the last time you had smiled so much. Always checking you phone, biggest smile on your lips. All because of Bella.

—

one month later

“I missed you.” Bella says, wrapping you in a hug. Their head resting in your shoulder, breathing in your aroma.

“I missed you, more.” You tease. You feel them laugh in your embrace before pulling away.

“I may have got me an air bnb for a week or so.”

“Really? I thought this was just a weekend kind of thing.” You say, biting your lip trying your best not to smile too hard. Originally you couldn’t help but be upset when Bella flight was delayed, their 10 am arrival turned into 5 pm. You had thought half your time with them was wasted.

“We’ll you were wrong.”

“I’m glad.” You laugh, following them to your car. Helping them load their luggage. Bella pulls up her maps app and types in the location of the air bnb. You drive, listening to Bella talk about everything that had happened in the last month of filming.

“You’re so cute when you talk about your job.” You respond, letting the word cute slip out.

“What do you mean?” They ask.

“You’re cute. Do I really need to elaborate?”

“I guess not.” They smile. The rest of the car ride is filled with a comfortable silence.

Eventually you two arrive at their temporary home for the week or so. You help Bella unload and follow them to the door, watching as they unlock the lock box that has the house key inside. They open the door for you, you walk inside.

“Wow this place is so nice.” You awe at the beauty of the living room.

“You think this is nice? Come look at the back yard.” Bella leads you to the back yard, it’s so beautiful. Plants everywhere and jacuzzi, wishing suddenly you had brought a swim suit.

“Wow.” You say aloud, noticing the large hanging chair. Big enough for multiple people. It hangs over the deck, with the perfect view of the nature behind the house. Without hesitation you climb into the hanging chair, Bella watches you amused. You let out a screech when it move from your weight. Eventually you fall on your back, looking up at the stars. Bella continues to watch you, enjoying the view of you enjoying yourself.

“Are you not going to join me?” You speak up.

“I guess so.” You laugh at their attempt to climb up, their attempt causing it to swing and sends Bella landing closer to you than they had originally intended. When you didn’t pull away, they didn’t either. The two of you, sit in silence staring up at the starry sky. Eventually Bella is the one to break the silence.

“Can I be honest with you?”

“Of course.” You respond, sitting up on your elbows so you can see them better. They begin speaking, not daring to look at you.

“I said I knew Ialways had feelings for women. Like I always knew I liked women. The truth is I had feelings for you. When you said you were gay, I freaked out because my feelings for you could of become a reality. I think that’s the real reason I pushed you away. I knew I couldn’t be in your life as just a friend but also that I wasn’t ready to be out. I don’t if that makes sense and know I’m rambling. I’m sorry.” Bella finally gains the courage to look at you after their words.

“It’s okay.” You smile, biting you lip. Thinking this is the moment you’ve been waiting for.

“So you’re not mad at me?” Bella asks.

“Not at all. The real question though, are those feelings still there?” You ask, curiously. Your tone a little flirty.

“They’ve always been there. Bumping into you only reignited them. Then you actually said yes to meeting up with me, I couldn’t believe it. I still don’t believe it.”

“Believe it.” You laugh before closing the space between you two. Letting your lips kiss Bella’s for the first time. It takes them a moment to fully register what’s happening, shortly kissing you back. Their hands reach for your head pulling you in closer. You’re the one to pull away, needing to catch your breath. That only lasts a few moments before they’re the one initiate the second kiss. The two of you spend a few hours on the hanging chair. Kissing, laughing and talking about anything and everything. Only going inside because it began to rain. That night you guys stayed up so late, some time around 3am Bella asked you to be their girlfriend. You said yes.

[bwabys-scenarios]

Fixer Upper

Part 31

Perv!Kurapika x Fem!Reader

pt 30

pt 32

A/N: Please remember that until further notice ALL of these chapters are FLASHBACKS that take place BEFORE THE BEGINNING OF FIXER UPPER! Just clarifying again because I’m tired of having to explain it 😭😭

warnings: lots of death, animal death, Kurapika gets drunk again lol, Reader’s suicidal thoughts/urges brought up

taglist: @tsukilover11 @ashdownunderscorebeloved @lemonslut @sweetstraberrybear @superweeniehutjrsblog @bugmomwrites @heartsforseo @lixiawinter @altaircc @itszenava @fiightforlovee @mimi-sanisanidiot @monainanuttshell @wow-im-gay @whorermoviestar @lightshowerrr @mama-m1na @nenggie @wicked-binch @jamayah @themanicwriter01

If you’d like to be ADDED to the taglist, please comment a red heart ❤️, make sure you’re able to be tagged/mentioned, and have your age in your bio(IF YOU ARE ALREADY ON THE TAGLIST, YOU DON’T NEED TO ASK TO BE ADDED AGAIN!!)

(Name) stood in her apartment after reaching York New city, packing more essentials now that she was more prepared for the trip she was going to be taking.

They were headed to NGL, a country where people lived alongside nature. Apparently that’s where Kite assumed the chimera ant queen claw came from.

As she was about to leave, her phone began to rang.

“… Melody?” she answered as she walked out of the door. Melody sounded frantic on the other end, blubbering.

“It’s Kurapika, he got himself drunk again and won’t stop crying! I’m trying to coax him out of the bar, but he won’t listen to me.”

(Name) paused, standing outside of her apartment, her key hovering over the lock. “… he what?”

“He’s incredibly drunk, and won’t stop crying. I don’t know what to do, I’m afraid he’ll make himself sick.”

(Name) paused, rubbing her temple. ‘What has gotten into him? Why is he acting like this when he’s always been so calm and collected?’

“I’m about to leave for another country. Leorio should be the second closest person to your location, I’ll text him.”

Melody sighed in relief over the phone, and (Name) could vaguely hear Kurapika slurring his words and the sound of objects being thrown around.

“Thank you, (Name). I know talking about him upsets you, I don’t mean to burden you-“

“No, it’s not a burden at all. He… he may have done and said some bad things, but I still love him with all my heart.”

She sighed softly, calling Leorio shortly after. He picked up almost immediately. “(Name), how are you doing? I’m sorry I haven’t been able to visit you, I’ve been-“

“Leorio…”

He paused, immediately going silent at the sound of her voice. “… what happened?”

(Name) locked her apartment, looking at the address Melody sent her. “It’s Kurapika. Apparently he’s drunk and won’t listen to reason. I can’t go for various reasons, but do you think you c-“

“No.”

She blinked, taking a moment to think before responding. “… no? What do you mean?”

“(Name), do you seriously expect me to help him after everything he put you through? For gods sake, you nearly killed yourself!”

The air grew thick and tense, and she could hear Leorio sigh over the phone. “I… I shouldn’t have said that. But my point still stands. How can you even think about helping him after that? The things he said to you… I care about you, (Name), but you need to think of yourself for once. I know you love him, but… there’s only so much you can do for someone that’s stuck in the past.”

She teared up, trembling. (Name) knew Leorio was right, she really did, but she couldn’t just leave Kurapika to potentially hurt himself or others. It wasn’t right. “Please…”

Leorio felt his heart leap into his throat when he heard how desperate she sounded. He knew just from the sound of her voice that she was crying. He slapped a hand over his forehead, cursing himself mentally for snapping at her. She was still in a very sensitive stage of healing, it wasn’t the right time to be saying these things to her.

“For me, Leorio… I couldn’t live with myself if I knew he got hurt…” she pleaded. He could picture the tears falling down her chubby cheeks, and her hands trembling as they held onto her phone.

He groaned, rubbing his temple. “Alright, alright… but I won’t be nice about it.”

She sniffled, and he was relieved when he heard a little laugh escape her lips. “Haha… thank you, Leorio. Be safe, love you.”

“You be safe, got me worried to death over here. I’ll come running if you need me, don’t hesitate to call my phone if you run into trouble on your mission.” Leorio said, his eyes softening as he looked at her contact photo.

“And… I love you too.”

She smiled, her finger hovering over the end call button. “Goodbye, Leorio.”

“Bye, sunshine.”

Leorio glanced at the address (Name) texted him before signing heavily. ‘He never thinks about how his actions will affect others, does he? There’s no way I’ll be nice to him about this.’

He put on his coat and made his way to his car, placing his cup of coffee in the cup holder. Leorio wasn’t going to let this slide.

Not at all.

———————

(Name) met up with the others at the airport, spotting Gon and Killua sitting together. As soon as they noticed her, the two boys perked up, Gon waving his hand with a big smile on his face. “(Name), you’re back!”

She put on the best smile she could. (Name) had tried her hardest to wipe away any evidence that she had been crying on her way to the airport, but Killua still raised an eyebrow when she got closer.

Gon was the one to point it out, though. “(Name)… are you alright? You look like you’ve been crying.”

A sigh left her lips before she could stop herself, the (h/c) haired woman waving her hand dismissively. “I’m fine, where’s Kite?”

She nearly jumped when Kite walked into view, almost as if he was summoned. Killua and Gon turned to face him as he began to speak.

“It may be a bit late to ask, but are you sure you want to come?”

“Of course!” Gon answered immediately, wearing his usual smile.

“You’re my nen teacher, I don’t have much of a choice.” (Name) said, folding her arms.

“You weren’t kidding about the “late” part.” Killua replied with a smirk.

Kite glanced at them before looking ahead. “We have no idea what the situation is like inside NGL. There may very well be a swarm of giant Chimera Ants already, hunting humans down. If that turns out to be the case, my priority will be saving them, so I may not be able to help any of you. You must be able to protect yourselves. If you want to come, that’s the requirement.”

With the last line, Killua spared (Name) a glance, his expression changing only enough for his closest friend to notice. “Okay, got it.” Gon agreed to Kite’s requirements, gently squeezing Killua’s hand. It was his way of saying that they would be okay, that (Name) would be okay.

“We’ll be fine.” Killua said, relaxing slightly with Gon’s comforting touch. Again he snuck a glance at (Name) who was looking intently a kite. Killua didn’t think she was weak, but he knew she wasn’t on their level of strength at all. Although he worried, he was confident that either him or Gon would be able to protect her if push came to shove.

This thought made the young assassin pause. ‘When did I come to care for her so much?’

He thought back to the Hunter Exam, remembering when she stepped in front of the woman who planned on killing him and got hurt in the process, or when she covered him and Gon in her cardigan to keep them warm during the Third Phase. She even let the boys stay at her apartment when they came for the York New auction, feeding and housing them for free. It wasn’t often that people showed Killua genuine kindness.

Unfortunately, Killua was used to working with a guve and take sort of relationship. ‘If I keep her safe during this, it’ll more than pay back for all the nice things she’s done. Then I won’t be in her debt.’ Killua thought to himself, trying to shake off the feeling of dread he had about her coming with them. Caring for too many people was a recipe for disaster, especially going into a dangerous situation like this one. The more you worried about others, the more likely you are to get yourself killed.

“Don’t worry boys, I’ll keep you safe.”

Killua felt his stomach sink at (Name)’s words. A soft, but firm hand was placed on both of their shoulders as she spoke. “I won’t let anything happen to you, not on my life.”

His chest hurt, it felt like he was having trouble breathing. Why was this woman that was obviously so much weaker than them so determined to keep them safe, when it was them who should be protecting her? Why did she put herself in harms way when she didn’t have to, when it didn’t benefit her? Killua didn’t understand, he couldn’t understand.

But… it made him feel strangely… happy. Someone in this world was determined to keep him safe, to keep him happy and warm and fed. No one had ever given him that type of security before. Sure Gon was his friend who he loved and cherished, but he couldn’t give Killua the type of love (Name) did.

The love a mother had for her son.

‘Mom…’

Killua looked at her a little differently, staying silent as Kite spoke up once more.

“And if I’m the one who’s in danger, you should escape without me.” Kite finished, looking between the three of them. “Got it?”

None of them answered, his words leaving them uneasy.

As they flew over York New city, the sun began to set before they knew it. (Name), Gon, and Killua watched as the sun set outside of the airship.

“What did you just decide?”

“Remember what Kite said before we left? That we should escape without him if he’s in danger.”

“Yeah, I don’t think it was a choice.”

“Yeah. That’s why none of us answered, but I’ve been thinking. Is it possible for Kite, who earned Ging’s respect, to be in that much danger?”

(Name) frowned, leaning against the wall. That was a question only a child would ask. Of course, regardless of skill, one could always be in danger given the right circumstance. There was always a bigger fish, someone was alway stronger than you.

“You said that Ging had a reason for bringing Kite and me together…” Gon said, glancing to Killua.

“Yeah.”

“You’re probably right. I don’t know the reason, but I can’t give up halfway, no matter what’s going on. Otherwise I’ll disappoint Ging. Of course, I could never forgive myself, either. So I won’t run away. Thats I’ve decided.”

Killua sighed. “Man, you had this totally serious expression, so I was expecting something big. But it’s just business as usual.”

“Huh? I thought about this a lot. I even ran a bunch of mental simulations…”

(Name) tried not to laugh imagining Gon trying his best to think of possible situations that may happen in the near future.

“Think all you’ll want, but you’ll still be Gon. If someone said you should abandon them, you’d never do it.” Killua replied, unable to keep himself from smiling:

“Mmm… you make it sound like I wasted my time considering it. Then what about you?”

“I’m a spontaneous guy, so I’d think about it when the time comes.”

“You mean you might run away?”

Killua paused for just a moment, his eyes moving from (Name) then back to Gon. He exhaled, shrugging his shoulders.

“Depends. I can’t say until it actually happens.”

“Say for instance…”

“I can’t tell you what is do in a hypothetical situation. I don’t decide until it’s time.”

The air ship carried the group heads for the Mitene Union, still unaware of the cruel fate that lies in wait for them…

————————

Seeking the giant Chimera Any, Kite’s group has arr he’s in the Mitene Union. Now, they travel from the Republic of Rokario to the neighboring GGL Autonomous Region. “NGL, huh? They believe living naturally is always better. They may be weird for living there, but you guys are weird for coming to visit, too. No idea what’s going on, but I’ve already driven in about ten similar groups today alone.”

“Ten groups?!” Gon exclaimed, turning to look at the man driving them.

“Yeah.”

“Then it sounds like we’re among the last to arrive.” Kite said, gazing out the window.

The all exited the van, (Name) groaning as she stretched lightly. “Ugh, my legs fell asleep. K-Kite!”

She held onto his arm, her legs shaking like a newborn giraffe as she tried to regain her balance.

“I told you to not sit on your leg, but you wouldn’t listen.” Killua teased, poking her leg. She yelped and nearly fell over, but was kept steady by a firm hand on her lower back.

“Those two huge trees serve as the checkpoint and embassy,” the driver said, pointing to the large trees ahead of them.

“Those may be the biggest trees I’ve ever seen in my life. Hmm…” (Name) walked towards them. “These probably hold so much history. Do you think they were around before the people living in this country?”

“Probably long before.” Kite answered, smiling softly as she waddled on ahead with Killua and Gon flanking her in case she stumbled. “Stay alert. The ants are a concern, but the NGL is more than a nature loving organization.”

“Got it.”

Two men met them at one of the trees, smiling in a vaguely friendly way. “What brings you here?”

“We’re on a hunt. A quarantined organism may have invaded this country.”

“If you are pro Hunters, then we cannot deny you entry. Follow me.”

They walked inside, where men were typing away on computers. “You’re using computers to and machines.” Killua said, staying near (Name)��s side.

“This place isn’t within NGL’s borders. This area is used for foreign relations and information exchange.”

“Are there any facilities similar to this within the country?”

“No, not a single one. No machines of any kind are allowed inside NGL. Naturally, visitors are also not allowed to bring any inside. Which means you’ll need to remove all metallic, petroleum, glass, or other such goods on your person.”

“D-Does that included my glasses?”

“Yes. If your clothes, belts, shoes, or underwear contain any plastic, chemicals, or metal you must remove.”

(Name)’s face heated up, and she took a step back. Both Killua and Gon didn’t seem very pleased, but stayed quiet.

“You’re kidding. You’re telling us to strip naked?” Spin said, popping her bubblegum.

“Don’t worry. There is natural clothing for sale upstairs.”

“Also, if there are any bolts inside your body, dental implants, gold, silver. Or silicone enhancements that cannot be removed, you will not be allowed to enter.”

(Name) accompanied the others upstairs, looking around the racks for suitable clothing. She was disappointed to see very sparse options in the plus size section. ‘Well, at least there’s something.’

She walked out, wearing a tanktop and baggy sweatpants. It wasn’t super flattering, but the clothes were strangely comfortable.

“Miss, you can keep your cardigan. It’s made with wool and died with beetroot juice.”

Killua and Gon watched as she happily donned her signature cardigan. “Ah, that’s fortunate. I really didn’t want to leave it behind.”

She walked down the stairs, joining the others. Kite watched as she smiled softly, gently patting her cardigan. “Only six of us are left?”

He glanced out the window. “I want you to stand by in the closest town. We’ll return here within two weeks and contact you.”

“Got it.”

The group was taken across to the other tree. “The checkpoint is over there. There will be a physical exam and interview as well as metal, x-ray, and ultrasound scanning.”

Kite sighed, surveying the area. “The security is rather strict.”

“Some people have smuggled in guns by hiding the parts inside their bodies. It’s common for people to hide cameras or cellphones in their rectums. Some people even trained animals to bring them laptops once they are inside.”

After thoroughly checking them, the woman gave them a friendly smile. “All of you are clean.”

(Name) sighed, looking as they stored away her medication, even her inhaler. Killua and Gon glanced at each other then to her.

“(Name), are you sure you should come without your inhaler? Leorio said it was very important that you keep it on you at all times…” Gon said, tilting his head.

She shrugged, buttoning her cardigan up slightly. “Meh, I’ll probably be fine… I just have to take it easy.”

“This isn’t exactly the place where you’ll be able to take it easy, dummy.” Killua replied, lightly smacking her head.

“Owie…”

She held her head and followed them as they were guided towards the entrance to the NGL.

“Thank you for your patience. Please pass through,”

The walked out, (Name) nearly being blinded by the bright light.

“Welcome to the NGL!”

The looked out across the landscape, being somewhat unimpressed. “Okay, let’s begin the hunt.”

———————

(Name) held on tightly to Kite’s waist, her face buried into his back. “I didn’t know you were scared of horses, (Name),” Killua teased from the back of another horse.

“I’m n-not afraid of horses, I just don’t like riding them!”

“They’re gentle creatures, you don’t have to be afraid.”

“Gon, I said I’m not afraid of horses! I’m afraid of riding on the back of a galloping creature with little to no way to stay secure!”

Kite glanced back at her, his hand gently taking hers. “I won’t let you fall, so don’t worry.”

She paused, her cheeks beating up ever so slightly as she buried her face further into his back. “Thanks… that might make up for you forgetting to teach me.”

He snickered. “I still intend to teach you, when we have the time.”

“Uh huh.”

Killua’s watched the interaction, his eyebrows furrowing. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it, he felt strangely protective over her, and he wasn’t as sure about Kite as Gon was.

They took a short break, Killua pulling (Name) over to sit with him and Gon while they looked over a map. “Woah, slow down. You’re pulling me too hard.”

“Sorry.”

He didn’t sound very sorry. She huffed, kneeling beside the two as they went over the map. As they spoke, she rummaged through her bag to hand out some water and snacks.

“They’re still following us, aren’t they?” Gon said, making (Name) look up. Killua nodded.

“Yeah… they claim to be here in case we encounter unknown tribes and require interpreters or intermediaries, but they’re obviously here to watch us.”

“Well, I never expected the people here to be of any help. My gut tells me that it’s here.” (Name) jumped slightly when Kite walked over.

“You really think so? The air does seem… off.”

Kite nodded, walking back towards their horse. “Yeah, let’s get going. We’re burning daylight.”

They continued on horseback, (Name) finding a bit of courage to look around. The area was desert like, so quiet a bit of dust was kicked up by the horses. She squinted her eyes, spotting a small dot of yellow approaching them.

‘Is that… no, it can’t be…’

“Kite, we have to stop!”

Kite brought the horse to a stop, the others following suit. As they looked to her for an explanation, one of the bees landed on her finger, a piece of paper stuck to it.

“This… this is one of Ponzu’s bees.”

Kite took the paper, reading over it before handing it to Gon and Killua.

The note read: “Help!! Chimera ant nest! Rocky Area, notify Hunter Association!!” along with a small drawing of said rocky area.

“It’ll be dangerous… but could you accompany me?” Kite asked looking to the three.

“Of course!” Gon said immediately, the bee landing on his finger.

“We’re pros…” Killua agreed, glancing (Name)’s way. He was hoping she would turn back, but when he noticed the expression on her face, he knew there was no way she would be leaving.

“Yeah… I’m going. I want to know if Ponzu is okay.”

Killua helped (Name) off of the horse, holding onto her hand. “Are you sure? Like Kite said, it’s going to be dangerous.”

He was hoping he could persuade her, but knew he couldn’t. When she wanted to do something, she would do it. “I’m sure. Thank you for worrying though, Killua.”

Killua felt his face go red as she ruffled his hair. Although he usually wouldn’t let people get away with treating him like a child… he didn’t mind if it was her. It wasn’t done to demean him or put down his accomplishments, it was purely because she cared about him, and he was beginning to realize that.

“Miss Interpreter… sorry, but we’re in a hurry.” Kite said to the woman that had been following them.

“Yes. The horses can move a bit faster.”

“They won’t be fast enough. I want you two to return to the border, find the others, and get word to the Association. These creatures are dangerous.” Kite said to the others.

“Got it.”

“Be careful, Kite.”

(Name) began to stretch with Killua and Gon, lacing up her shoes again and tying them extra tight. She wasn’t sure how long she could run for, but she knew she could keep up with them for a good bit.

“If you can’t keep up, I’ll leave you behind.” Kite warned, getting off the horse. Killua huffed.

“Right back at you.”

“All ready to go!” Gon said, smiling.

(Name) stood beside them, feeling a bit nervous. She looked between the other three, holding the straps of her backpack tight.

“Let’s go.”

She ran beside them, keeping up pretty well. As they raised through the desert area, Killua and Gon both kept an eye on her to make sure she was still following behind. They didn’t doubt her skill, but did worry over her due to her asthma. Not only were they running quite a bit, but they were kicking up a lot of dust as they did.

She was relieved when they came upon a forested area, the group stopping a bit ahead of her. Thinking it was for a break, she took out her canteen and took a swig, only to spit out her water almost immediately.

On the ground in front of them was a puddle of blood, along with torn bits of clothing… clothing that (Name) recognized. “No…”

Gon grimaced beside her, his hand reaching out to squeeze hers. It was a bit too tight, but she didn’t say anything, she was in shock.

Killua bent over. “This… is a bullet casing.”

(Name) turned to see him holding up just that, the bucket casing glinting in the light that shined between the canopy above. “Nothing mechanical is allowed here, right?”

“So the underground rulers of NGL were manufacturing guns in addition to drugs.”

“But, judging by this…”

“It wasn’t done by a human. Most likely, it was a Chimera Ant. If the Chimera Ants are using guns… I hate to consider the possibility, but it’s possible that NGL’s underground rulers have already been fed to the queen…”

(Name) was still in shock, dropping to her knees to tenderly pick up Ponzu’s hat. Her fingers traced the fabric, brushing away the dirt.

“What will happen if Chimera Ants are both with their genes? NGL and Chimera Ants… the worst combination imaginable. This could create an unprecedented biohazard.”

Killua watched her from a distance, feeling some strange heartache when he noticed tears falling down her cheeks.

“Do you think she’s… alive?”

Her voice cracked at the work alive, as if it was hard for her to imagine a world where Ponzu wasn’t alive. Killua and Gon shared a glance, preparing to speak but Kite beat them to it.

“It’s unlikely.”

It was like time stopped, the air around her growing too heavy to breathe in. She stared at the hat in her grasp, her hands trembling. “No… no she can’t be dead, there… there has to be-“

“(Name).”

Kite placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “We can’t sit here and speculate. If we don’t keep moving, the death count will keep rising, and your friend’s death would have been in vain. If seeing death is something you can’t handle, you should turn back while you still can.”

It was a bit harsh, but he wasn’t wrong. The road ahead of the would be full of death and destruction, and if she chose to walk that road she would have to be strong enough to keep moving, despite her losses.

She wiped her tears and stood up, pocketing Ponzu’s hat. “Sorry, I’m ready.”

Kite nodded, and they all began their journey again, this time in complete silence.

————————

In a town a few hours away from York New, Leorio drove down one of the winding roads as he glanced at the address on his phone. It was nearly midnight, and he had an important exam he’d have to take in the morning.

“You’re doing this for her, Leorio,” he mumbled to himself as he wiped the sleep from his eyes.

(Name) never asked him to do things for her, no, she only asked for favors when it came to helping others. Sometimes he wished she would put herself first and let him be there for her more, but he knew that it would take some time for her to open up more.

Leorio stopped the car and peeked out his window, surveying the bar the address had led him to.

“Where is he? Melody told (Name) he would be-“

He stopped, his eyes landing on a slumped figure sitting on the sidewalk. Leorio knew exactly who it was, even though their face was covered by their long blonde hair.

“Kurapika.”

Leorio stood in front of the blonde, waiting as he slowly lifted his head. “Leorio? Why… are you here..?”

The man crossed his arms, staring down at Kurapika with the look of a disappointed father. “Come on, you can’t just sit on the sidewalk drunk. Where’s Melody?”

The blonde blinked slowly, his eyes half lidded as he looked up at Leorio. “Had to go watch Neon…”

Leorio’s lips formed into a tight line. “I’m assuming she took your shift to save your ass?”

Kurapika didn’t answer, instead hiccuping before sipping on a bottle of water that had been left beside him. Leorio knew it had to be Melody who left it behind for him, to help Kurapika sober up a bit. “Come on, I’m taking you home.”

The blonde didn’t protest, stumbling to his feet and nearly falling on his face before Leorio caught him. “Fuck, Kurapika, you’re wasted. What the hell has gotten into you?”

He didn’t answer, the smell of alcohol on Kurapika’s breath making Leorio grimace. Even through his anger, Leorio could sense something was wrong, that the person he had considered his friend needed help. “Whatever, come on.”

Leorio placed him in the passenger seat of his car, grabbing (Name)’s cardigan from the backseat and tossing it to Kurapika. It was cold, and Leorio’s car didn’t have heating, so that would keep him warm.

He just wasn’t expecting the reaction Kurapika would have to the soft clothing.

Kurapika’s eyes went wide, tears falling down his cheeks as he buried his face into the fabric, sobbing into her cardigan. “(Name)… oh, (Name)…”

This act made Leorio pause, his brows knitting together. He knew Kurapika had pushed her away for her own good, but he had still been unnecessarily cruel to the only person that had given him unconditional love since his clan was massacred. In Leorio’s eyes, he didn’t have the right to be sobbing into her cardigan and whimpering her name. Kurapika didn’t deserve to mourn her as if she was dead when she was still alive.

But Leorio still helped him to his hotel room, still held back his hair when he threw up, and still brushed Kurapika’s teeth for him so he wouldn’t have the taste of vomit in his mouth when he woke up. Leorio was a doctor, he couldn’t just leave him without something, so he tucked Kurapika in and set a glass of water and some pain relief medicine on the nightstand. It was all he could do, he had to leave so he could try and get some sleep before his exam in the morning.

As he left, he remembered that Kurapika still had (Name)’s cardigan. Leorio was about to take it back, but he watched as Kurapika snuggled into the fabric, the scent helping to calm down his racing heart. Leorio was far too kind, muttering under his breath as he closed Kurapika’s hotel door behind him. “I’ll just ask Melody to wash it and send it back tomorrow…”

Kurapika wouldn’t remember any of this encounter when he woke up, but he would be pleasantly surprised to be wearing (Name)’s cardigan in the morning.

Neither Leorio or (Name) would get that cardigan back, unfortunately.

————————

“It’s safe to assume that the Chimera Ants have assumed control of NGL’s interior. The question is if we can reach their nest before the Queen births the King.”

(Name) was having a bit of trouble keeping up, her chest was heavy with grief and regrets. Could she have saved Ponzu if she had come with her and Pokkle instead?

“Hindsight is always 20/20. Thinking of what could have been will change nothing,” Kite stated, as if he could read (Name)’s thoughts. The woman frowned deeply.

“I know… but… if I had just-“

Kite cut her off by holding up his hand. “But you didn’t. You’re here now, let’s focus on trying to honor your friend by saving as many lives as we can.”

She didn’t answer, simply allowing Gon to squeeze her hand gently. (Name) didn’t have the words or energy to properly respond to Kite. Her absence in her friend’s time of need weighed heavily on her chest, and she wasn’t sure if she’d ever forgive herself.

“There’s still hope, (Name),” Gon said softly as they continued towards a small village. “You said Pokkle was with her, right? Maybe he’s still alive.”

She tried her best to smile. “You’re right, there is still hope. Sorry if I scared you, Gon.”

She knew better than most that Gon didn’t like seeing his friends lose hope. It was something that made the boy a bit anxious, and he’d often do as much as he could to make the other feel better. (Name) tried to keep her aura neutral as calm, to make sure he didn’t feel the need to comfort her too much. Gon was just a child after all, a child she wanted to protect. She couldn’t let her feelings of grief potentially put him in harm’s way.

That’s why, even as they walked through the abandoned village, she remained silent, a cold anger washing over her at the sight of torn and bloody children’s clothes and beloved dollies left behind in the dirt. No child would willingly leave their previous toy behind, and the clothes being the only thing telling them humans had been there was very similar to the state they’d found Ponzu in. Or well, what was left of her.

“No one’s here.” Gon said softly as his fingers traced the splintered wood of a destroyed door. Whatever had been there before them had the strength to tear down homes like shredding paper. “Hey… something smells. Coming from over there.”

The group followed a trail of blood, Killua instinctively sticking very close to (Name). It’s like his body could sense that she wasn’t as well equipped as them to handle the threat they would soon face, and he would need to have her at arms length in case something came at them.

They found several horses impaled on tree limbs, the sound of flies buzzing around they corpses and the smell of death becoming more pronounced the closer they got. (Name) covered her nose, gagging at the pungent odor hanging around the area.

“It’s like a morning sacrifice.” Gon said, making Killua and (Name) tilt their heads.

“A ritual practices by birds called bull-headed shrikes. They impale their prey on sharp objects such as branches.” Kite explained to the two, before they all turned their heads.

“HEY!”

Killua threw his arm in front of (Name), fueled by pure instinct. She yelped slightly, he hadn’t had time to hold back, so the blow to her belly stung quite a bit. She didn’t complain though, the sight of the creature appearing before them made her pain dull in comparison to the overwhelming fear she felt.

It was tall, possibly taller than Kite with a human-like appearance. The thing that set it apart was the strange legs and wing like limbs, along with rabbit ears, nose, and whiskers. The thing about it that scared her the most was the fact that it had been able to conceal its presence from them.

“What!?”

“Wh-what is that thing?”

(Name) pushed away the urge to pull Killua and Gon behind her, knowing that one wrong move could have that thing attack them within seconds. Her eyes didn’t leave the creature, not for a second. She had never felt so afraid, not even standing before the Phantom Troupe. At least they had been human, but she had no idea what this was, and the unknown was more frightening than anything else.

They were all on high alert, watching as it raised a hand to point at them. “Trash. Those are mine!”

It seemed to be angry that they were near its prey, the horses. That thing must have been what impale the poor things.

It launched towards them, so fast that (Name) could barely follow it with her eyes. Kite was its target, and when he easily dodged it, it came after them. It hit her, Gon, and Killua out of the way, the blow causing them to fly backwards several feet. (Name) nearly puked, and even Gon whined from the pain.

That sound made (Name) tense up, her aura spreading out to cover the two as she got into a fighting position. She didn’t have as much experience as Killua and Gon, but she would fight regardless.

The creature seemed focused on Kite, as he was the biggest threat, but he didn’t give the creature the time of day, instead disappearing from sight before reappearing behind the three. “Gon, Killua, (Name). You three must deal with him yourselves. This is a chimera ant soldier, we will encounter many more like him. I won’t be able to help you during combat. If you can’t defeat it, you’ll have to leave. You’ll just be in my way.”

The two boys nodded, their auras spiking as (Name) bit her lip. She knew Kite was right, he usually was, but she feared what may happen to them.

“Weren’t you listening, Kite?” Gon asked, his gaze focusing on the chimera ant.

“We’re also pros!” Killua added as they began to advance towards their opponent.

“Don’t treat us like kids!”

(Name) jumped slightly, holding a hand over her heart. She wanted to listen, but in her heart there would always be children to her. But she knew that babying them wouldn’t accomplish anything, so instead she stood by their sides, ready to fight with them.

(Name) attacked with them, barely dodging a hit that would have knocked her head clean off her shoulders. She used her nen to protect her body from another blow before reinforcing her fists and focusing all of her nen into her fist to punch him in the face.

The creature was dazed just long enough for Killua and to land a lightning based attack on him, paralyzing it so Gon could get a hit in with his own nen attack.

It was launched into the air, and before the could continue, it was scooped up by another Chimera Ant. It growled and roared, struggling. “Bastards! I’m gonna eat you! I will! Remember this!”

“Our attacks…” Gon whispered, his eyes still on the Chimera Ant.

“They didn’t work.” Killua finished, giving (Name) a look over before frowning.

Kite approached them, his aura calm. “That guy’s smart. He let his soldier do the fighting, so he could learn our abilities. Are you coming?”

They all turned to look at him, eyes wide.

“There’s no need to feel down. Your attacks weren’t that bad. You just need experience now. If you wish to become stronger, this is a perfect opportunity. But if you aren’t prepared, you won’t be able to endure the ordeal. Whether we win or lose, hell lied ahead of us.”

They glanced at each other, and (Name) knew that she couldn’t leave. Not when things like that chimera ant existed.

“We’re coming.”

“Yeah.”

————————

As the sun began to set, they came across the corpses of several NGL workers that ran the hidden drug factory. Although they weren’t good people, (Name) still said a quick prayer, hoping they would find peace after being slaughtered like animals.

“This is ugly… the stench alone would guide us to the corpses.” Kite said, looking over the devastation caused by the chimera ants.

“Look at this. So this is the hidden side of the NGL.”

Killua held up a gun, frowning. (Name) took it from his hands and set it back down, then took out her handkerchief and swiped it over his palms.

“I suppose so.”

They looked up when they heard Gon call them from the hill. “Killua, Kite, (Name)…”

The silence of the Drug factory overtaken by the Chimera Ants further intensified the chill in the air. There was no doubt that every human that had once worked there was now dead, the smell confirmed it.

(Name) sighed softly as they set up camp for the night nearby. It was far enough away that they could actually rest for a bit in shifts. As Gon and Killua slept, Kite turned to (Name).

“You did well during the fight, but I did notice you only used your basic nen practices. Is there a reason for that?”

She nodded. “Yeah, it’s because I don’t really know all that much about nen. I’ve got the basics down, but when it comes to anything more advanced, I’m not that knowledgeable.”

Kite winced, scratching the back of his head. “Ah, I have a feeling I’m to blame for that.”

(Name) smiled, glancing back at the two boys sleeping before giving Kite her attention again. “Mmm, I didn’t want to say it, but yeah.”

They both shared a laugh before Kite leaned back and sighed. “Alright, I guess this is a good opportunity to teach you some things, but let’s start you off by retaking the water divination test.”

She watched as Kite prepared the test, her fingers tapping nervously against her leg. “Relax, you took it once before, didn’t you?”

“Yeah… but I was alone. I… I was pretty sure the volume of water increased.”

Kite hummed in thought. “Well, with another person here to inspect the results, maybe I can pick up on something you didn’t.”

“Yeah…”

She held her hands over the cup, gently emitting her aura. Again, it seemed like the volume of water in the cup raised, but Kite seemed to notice something she didn’t. “Ah, so that’s what it is… I had a feeling you weren’t an enhancer, and I was right.”

(Name) tilted her had as he lifted the leaf in the cup, and was surprised to see roots stretching down to the bottom of the cup. “The reason the volume of water rose was because you were making this leaf sprout roots. You’re a specialist for sure, possibly with some kind of time ability…”

“B-but I thought… my ability was to heal…”

Kite shook his head, placing the leaf in her hand. “Keep using your ability and don’t stop until I say so.”

She nodded and continued, her eye widening as the roots continued to grow, and then shrivel up in her hand before turning to dust. “You have the ability to speed up time. It can be used to heal, but it can also be used to hurt.”

Kite tried to hide his concerned expression. This was quite the ability for an inexperienced nen user to have. As her teacher, he would have to report this to Chairman Netero for safety reasons, but as her friend… he was impressed.

“(Name)!” Gon whisper yelled, crouching next to her. Before telling her what he wanted to, he let out a yawn and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “It’s… your turn to sleep.”

“Ah, okay.”

She got up, but Kite caught her arm. “(Name), don’t forget what we learned tonight. I want you to try using your ability in your next battle.”

“Yeah… I will.”

She laid down in the sleeping back Kite brought, getting some much needed rest, feeling a lot more confident in herself, now that she knew what she was capable of.

————————

Kite, Gon, Killua, and (Name) had advanced deep within NGL, in search of the Chimera Ant nest, and have arrived at a cliff with peculiar openings.

“This is the Chimera Ant nest?” Gon asked, looking upon the former weapon factory.

“No, they don’t make their nests in holes. They use mud and feces to build them.” Kite replied, making the three wince in disgust. “Let’s go. You’ll understand once we’re inside.”

The lights along the tunnel flickered as they travelled through it. (Name) wrapped her cardigan tightly around herself, feeling the slight cool breeze blow past them as they ventured in further.

“There’s no telling when or from where they will attack. Be on your guard.” Kite warned.

“Yeah, got it. That other chimera ant completely concealed his presence.”

Killua’s reminder made (Name) shudder. It was frightening, thinking of beings they had considered animals being able to conceal themselves completely.

“Is this place…”

They entered a room with various numbered large vials stood, some shattered. Body parts were scattered on the floor, presumably belonging to the now fed NGL workers.

“Yes, it is NGL’s hidden side.” Kite confirmed.

“A drug factory.”

“Exactly. This factory produces the ingestible drug D2 which is spreading throughout the mainland. There are probably bila trees nearby, which produce its main ingredient. Ironic given their claims as preservationists.” Kite said with a scoff.

“They’re making more than drugs. Look.” Killua opened a box containing various guns. “It’s the same as the others.”

“I assume that only the NGL leaders know the truth of this place. The other members joined because they honestly loved nature. “

“So this facility is the center of NGL’s underground. If it’s empty…

Then Chimera Ants have wiped out the NGL underground. And a bunch of amateurs with guns won’t suffice to deal with them.” Kite finished Killua’s thought.

(Name) tuned them out for a moment as she inspected the guns, but was quickly stirred from her thoughts when Kite spoke.

“Shh, a few are around.”

She was immediately on guard, her body tensing as she stood among Killua and Gon. “They’re slowly approaching through the middle tunnel. There are more in the right and left tunnels.” Kite warned.

“En… how far can you search?” Killua asked as the approached the room.

“Everything within a 45 meter radius.”

“45 meters!?” Gon exclaimed, glancing around the room.

“Depending on physical and mental condition, I can increase that by a few meters. Here they come!”

(Name) prepared herself for the fight ahead, ready to test out her abilities for the first time.

[schrijverr]

I Didn’t Mean to Say I Do, but I Do. I Do. 4

Chapter 4 out of 50

Secret marriage of convenience buddie slow burn AU, where Buck and Eddie have been married for years so Buck could adopt Chris and no one at the 118 knows.

In this chapter, Evan offers his support to Eddie after Shannon has left and the three of them slot into a life together with ease. There are some ups and downs, but they’re managing… until the hospital bills come in.

On AO3.

Ships: Buddie (slowburn)

Warnings: ableism, emotionally abusive parents, child abandonment, homophobia

~~~

Chapter 4: Three Lives Becoming Intertwined

Evan watches Eddie gather himself for a moment. It’s a little weird what he’s doing, getting caught up in this divorce even more, but he can’t help himself. Evan has always liked helping people, listening to people at the bar had been nice, feeling like he could lighten their load. Same as why he’s working on the Johnson farm now, their usual farm hand had gone off to college and there wasn’t anyone they could ask. So now, a year later, here he still is.

And it is the same thing with the Diaz family. He thought Shannon was pretty from the second he saw her and when she blurted out having nothing more than an egg run as a social life, he felt for her, wanted to make her feel better. Then she talked about her divorce and on instinct he turned into a shoulder to lean on.

Now, Eddie shows up looking all out of sorts and panicked, Shannon having left him and Chris – and him, but he’s trying not to think about it – and Evan can’t help but want to help. Eddie doesn’t seem like a bad guy and he is obviously trying. It can’t be easy, being a dad that young and then suddenly also having to do it alone.

So, here he is, hearing Eddie’s side of the divorce.

Eddie tells him about getting papers served to him while he was in Afghanistan, nestled between the cookies his mom baked him and a few drawings from Chris. How he wanted to try and work it out, but Shannon refused, insisting they wouldn’t work and implying it was his fault. He is vague about why it is his fault, but Evan doesn’t push.

Then he continues about coming home and being subjected to his mom’s judgment about Chris. “I would also be crazy if that was directed at me for years. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to handle it longer, but I’m home now. She never has to speak to my mom again if she wants.”

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair again. He’s been doing that the whole time and it’s sticking up in all kind of ways. Evan thinks it looks kind of cute, but he doesn’t comment, just makes a noise to indicate he’s still listening, encouraging Eddie to go on.

“Like we were working towards a future where we’d have our own lives, but still be there together for Chris. Figuring the house and the finances, you know, straightening out the mess that was our divorce. Then she’s suddenly gone.”

“Did she say why she left?” Evan asks, an inkling of curiosity for himself, but he’s mostly invested in Eddie. It’s easier to focus on him than on himself.

Eddie looks away and murmurs: “Her mom’s sick. Cancer.” He sucks in a deep breath, before groaning: “Which probably makes me a horrible person, but I don’t get why she didn’t talk to me, you know. We could’ve worked something out, even if it was just Chris having her on holidays and birthdays, or a fucking goodbye. But no. She’s just gone.”

“She didn’t mention it at all?” Evan frowns. Now that he thinks about it, he can’t recall her talking about it either. Though a small part soothes the ache about her leaving without saying anything at the news that she’s taking care of her sick mother, she probably didn’t wanna drag him into that, because he would have. Quietly, he forgives her for leaving him. Not Chris, though.

“No,” Eddie sighs. “I know she’d been calling with her mom more, but I didn’t ask, because I wanted to give her space and her own life. It’s already bad enough that I’m living on my own couch. Though… I guess I can take the bedroom now.”

A hand goes through his hair again and he looks completely overwhelmed when he says: “Fuck, how am I going to explain to Chris why mommy isn’t there to tuck him in? And I have to go work and then I’ll have to explain to my mom why she’s babysitting and she’ll have everything to say about it and I’ll- I- I can’t-”

“Hey, Eddie, breathe, breathe,” Evan tries his best to calm the spiraling man.

He doesn’t touch him again, but his voice is strangely soothing and Eddie manages to get his heart rate under control. He doesn’t know why it’s so easy to open up to Evan, but it is. He is letting himself spiral, show anything other than being in perfect control. He hasn’t done that with anyone since Shannon told him she was pregnant.

“I’m okay,” he manages after a few seconds. “I’m sorry. I’m dumping everything all on you. I don’t even know why you’re letting me do that.”

“Because you need someone to listen,” Evan shrugs as if that truly is his reason, as if someone needing someone is truly enough for him to drop everything. Then he grins at Eddie – making his insides squirm for reasons he doesn’t want to get into – and says: “Plus, I hate to tell you, but I have been upgraded to Chris’s best friend recently. So, it’s my duty to make sure he’s okay.” His face drops a little. “I really hope he’s going to be okay.”

Eddie follows his gaze to where Chris has sat himself down on the floor, talking to the chickens as they mill around him. He is giggling to himself looking so happy and carefree. Eddie wishes that will never leave and something constricts in his chest. “Me too.”

They both fall quiet for a moment, watching Chris play. It’s nice, sharing his son’s delight with someone for a bit without judgment or a loaded history hanging over them.

“I don’t wanna lose him, you know.” The soft confession comes before Eddie can think about it, too honest for his taste the second it leaves his lips.

“You’re not going to lose him,” Evan says and Eddie can hear that Evan believes it, so much that he almost dares to believe it himself too.

However, he doesn’t dare. He knows he’s too much of a screw up for this to work out. Hell, it took only a few months of being back, before he drove away Chris’s other parent, that doesn’t exactly bode well for the future. So, he morosely says: “You can’t know that.”

“Come on, man. You can’t give up on him,” Evan says, trying to go for a tease, but it comes out a lot more genuine. He wants this to work out. He wants Chris to have a parent who cares for him. He has gotten strangely attached to the kid and it’s healing something inside him to see him have people that care. He needs Eddie to keep fighting.

“I’m not giving up on him,” Eddie says heatedly, which unknots something in Evan’s chest. “I love that kid, of course I’m not giving up. Never.” Then he turns insecure again and he can’t look in Evan’s direction as he adds: “I just- I know I can’t do it alone, I also don’t know how long I can do it with my mom, before she wins or I snap.”

His heart breaks for Eddie, who desperately wants to do right by Chris, but for whom life has made it incredibly difficult to do so. “You’re not alone.”

“What?”

“Uh, you’re- you’re not alone. I’m in your corner,” Evan says sheepishly, only realizing after how weird it is to say that. It’s not as if he’s Chris’s stepparent, he and Shannon never even properly dated, just fucked a few times. He’s closer to a babysitter, yet here he is.

“Why?” It’s comes out ruder than Eddie meant to, but he just doesn’t understand. Shannon left and she was Chris’s mother, why is this guy still here, still wanting to help. He’s not going to get anything out of it like he did from Shannon.

Evan shrinks into himself, it’s small but it’s there, before he covers it with bravado as he jokes: “Is it weird if I say the kid grew on me?”

“A little,” Eddie tells him honestly, because he never knows when to stop himself.

Luckily, Evan takes it in stride. He chuckles a little and says: “Yeah, thought so.” Then he becomes more serious and says: “Look, I know Shannon had it hard, but her leaving is going to hurt him. A lot. Chris is going to need someone to fight for him. Not to get personal, but my parents kind of didn’t care. I’d hate to see that for someone else, especially when you do care.”

“And that’s enough to want to stay here and back me up?” Eddie asks, not really believing that someone like that can be real. “Shouldn’t you be out there, seeing the world or something?”

It’s unfortunately close to what Shannon said to him a few months ago and Evan realizes with a start what he didn’t realize then; he doesn’t want to do that.

He traveled for a few years already before coming to El Paso and no matter how many crazy experiences he’s had, none of them have filled the gaping hole in his chest like meeting Chris has. He likes getting to see the kid grow up, likes knowing he’s had a hand in it. Likes knowing that he can help without screwing everything up.

“Nah, I’ve seen enough of the world. Besides, Mrs. Johnson would kill me if I left her high and dry like that,” he tells Eddie easily, squirming slightly when he sees those brown eyes are awe filled as they look at him.

“How are you a real person, man?” Eddie asks him. It isn’t a question, it’s a complement.

Evan can’t take complements like that, so he puts on his most shit eating grin as he says: “I don’t think I have to give you the birds and the bees talk, dude, you put that shit in practice already.”

“Oh fuck off,” Eddie finds himself exclaiming with a matching grin. For the first time since he was nineteen does he actually feel his age, his youth. Shannon leaving is one of the worst things that has happened to him to date, but today isn’t a total disaster.

In the end, Eddie spends the rest of his day with Chris, spoiling him as much as he can to make up for the heartbreak he’s going to bring him. He can’t bring himself to tell Chris just yet though, needs a little longer to process himself. So, he takes up Evan’s offer for help and lets the other tuck Chris in bed and watch him for the night.

It’s weird, to be in the Diaz house. Whenever he and Shannon hooked up it was in the little sideroom the Johnsons provided for him and when he watched Chris, it was at the farm. too But now he is in her home and she no longer lives there.

There are traces of her here and there. It’s clear she decorated, but moved out. There is no other personality anywhere except Chris’s.

The next morning, Eddie comes in to find Evan sleeping on the couch that he’s been using for a bed these past few months. Watching him sleep like this makes him realize how young he is. He must be around his age. He wonders how he ended up here. He says he saw a lot of the world, but this is one hell of a place to strand.

When he thinks about it, he doesn’t know much about him, just that he ended up here somehow and works for the Johnsons and has shitty parents. Shitty enough that he’s willing to stay here and help Eddie to prevent Chris from having a childhood close to his own.

In a way, Eddie relates to that, he never wants Chris to feel like he has to be the man of the house, he wants to do better. Be there for him.

He thought Shannon wanted that too, but apparently not.

Eddie still isn’t sure how he’s going to explain that to Chris and he tries not to think about it, instead quietly sneaking to the kitchen as to not wake Evan. He starts up coffee and makes two mugs, putting one on the coffee table and sipping the other.

Once the mug is empty, he goes to get Chris. The two of them do Chris’s PT exercises, before letting him go to the kitchen for breakfast. They can get dressed and brush their teeth after they’ve eaten and seen Evan out the door.

Evan gets woke up by an excited four year old crashing into him. Chris had been thrilled about Evan watching him for the night, not questioning the impromptu sleepover or the lack of mommy for the night. He seems equally thrilled that he’s there in the morning.

“Hey, little man,” Evan greets sleepily. “Did you get out of bed yourself?”

“No, daddy did. We did the morning movies,” Chris informs him excitedly.

That confuses Evan, but before he can ask, Eddie’s voice answers: “We did his PT exercises. We call them the morning movements, but the we’re working on the full word.”

“Ah,” Evan nods, still not fully awake, because he stares at Eddie for a second. He’s still dressed in his night guard uniform, looking a little disheveled and rumpled.

Eddie must interpret his look some acceptable way, because he snorts: “There’s coffee right there. Hope you’re not sick of eggs yet, because it’s the only thing I can make.”

Indeed there is a steaming mug waiting for him and it is one of the nicest things someone has done for him in years. He has to swallow a lump in his throat, praying his morning voice covers it as he states: “You’re making me breakfast?”

“Yeah, it’s the least I can do,” Eddie smiles, looking a little bashful and sheepish.

“You don’t have to, but thanks,” Evan smiles back, probably looking more fond than he intends. It is crazy how fast they’ve become friends considering their history. “Not sick of eggs yet.”

“Thank god for that,” Eddie grins, then he disappears to make breakfast, while Chris tries to tell him about this dream he had. It’s a little confusing, but Evan tries his hardest to pay attention.

Breakfast should be an awkward affair, but Chris’s presence makes it easier to talk, so it ends up being pretty nice.

Though, Evan does have to hurry to make it back to the Johnson farm on time to get started for the day, trying not to feel Mrs. Johnson’s judgy eyes. He’s probably going to be grilled during lunch so she can take the gossip back to Church come Sunday. Evan really hopes for Eddie’s sake that he’ll manage not to crack.

Meanwhile Eddie and Chris take a shower and a bath respectively, before brushing their teeth together. Chris is too young to have the motor skills to do it himself yet, but Eddie doesn’t mind. He loves getting to spend mornings with his son, never wants to give any of it up. His heart constricts at the reminder that Shannon was willing to give this all up.

When they’re both dressed, he doesn’t put Chris on the floor to play to his heart content while he naps on the couch, instead he puts Chris down on the couch and takes a seat on the coffee table so they can have a talk. “Hey, mijo,” he starts. “I wanted to have a little talk with you.”

“Okay, daddy,” Chris replies, so open and trusting, it makes Eddie want to vomit.

“You may have noticed, but mommy wasn’t here last night,” Eddie says, hating every word. “She is not going to be here tonight either. Mommy is gone. She left and she is not going to be here for a while.” He can’t bring himself to say forever, can’t crush any hope Chris might have like that, even if the custody papers that are burning in his bedroom drawer tell a different story.

“Mommy is gone?” Chris repeats in a small voice, lip starting to wobble.

“Yeah, mijo. She had to go,” Eddie confirms, heart ripping in two as he reaches out to Chris to pull him in his lip.

“But she didn’t say bye bye,” Chris tells him, as if that is going to change anything. To him it probably does. When you go, you say bye bye, so Shannon can’t be gone, because she didn’t say bye bye. Eddie sadly knows it doesn’t work like that.

“She had to hurry,” Eddie lies, because what else is he going to tell him? That mommy didn’t want to be his mommy anymore and dropped him with her fuck buddy and left without saying goodbye, because she didn’t want to risk getting stopped? No, thanks.

“When you went, you said bye bye. You said bye bye and you came back. When is mommy coming back? I want mommy,” Chris demands, voice becoming less and less comprehensible as he breaks down in tears.

Eddie hugs him as close to his chest as he can, stroking his back as he lets Chris sob. He wonders if Shannon had to do the same when he left, then remembers Chris was too young to remember, he just remembers the bye byes from their calls.

Chris sobs for an hour and nothing Eddie says makes it better. How can it? The whole thing reminds him of the brief period he was home before he re-enlisted, how Chris had cried and cried and he felt so out of his depth. That doesn’t even begin to compare to how he feels now.

In the end, Chris cries himself to exhaustion and Eddie has to use the time to sleep too. He lies down on the couch, Chris on his chest. He’s so big already that his feet rest on his thighs, tears burn at the realization how much he missed, how much Shannon is going to miss.

The sleep he has is fitful and barely there, both he and Chris are cranky and miserable for the rest of the day. They cuddle up on the couch and watch cartoons as Eddie ignores the voice in his head that sounds a lot like his mom telling him it’s bad for Chris. He needs this. They both do.

Dinner is a silent affair, just the two of them poking at the sad excuse for a dinner. Shannon usually cooks, because Eddie is hopeless. Another hole she left, another place he’s failing. He hates that he’s going to have to ask his mom for help at some point.

Evan comes around after dinner and gives Eddie a look when Chris isn’t as excited as yesterday to see him. He can see his own heartbreak and understanding reflected in Evan’s eyes when Chris asks: “Are you going to leave too?”

“No, buddy, I’m here to stay,” Evan tells him with such conviction that both Chris and Eddie believe him. Eddie nearly cries, because this stranger has shown so much compassion and kindness for his son and he can’t ever repay him or verbalize how much he is already doing, even two days into knowing each other.

After that they fall into a routine quite quickly. Surprisingly easily too. Evan has a planner side, getting out a notebook and some paper and figuring out a schedule that works.

Eddie spends the days with Chris, waking him up and doing the morning routine, usually eating breakfast with the three of them, before Evan has to leave for work. Eddie naps as Chris plays, until dinner, which Evan has started to eat with them after Chris asked him to stay one day and Eddie didn’t say no. After dinner Eddie leaves for work and Evan puts Chris to bed, before spending the night.

At first Evan sleeps on the couch, but Eddie knows from personal experience that it is not comfortable, so he tells him to take the bed. Technically they’re sharing, but they never sleep at the same time, so it’s not that big a deal.

They run so smoothly that it takes a week and a half before his mom finds out Shannon left. And that is only because Mrs. Johnson mentions she hasn’t been around while at Church and then Chris cries when mom asks when they go over for Sunday brunch (which is still required even if Eddie doesn’t go to Church itself anymore).

The lecture he gets is one for the books and Eddie actually storms out in anger, not going to Sunday brunch for two weeks, until his mom comes to his house to drag him there. Eddie thanks his lucky stars Evan is out at work when she does, since he doesn’t think they’d survive them meeting just quite yet.

His mom does eventually learn that it is Evan on who he is relying and she has a few choice of words for that too, which sting more than Eddie expected.

Even though they mostly function on opposite schedules, they have become quite good friends in the quiet moments they have together and the moments they share with Chris. It’s nice to have someone to share being a parent with, someone he can turn to when Chris does something adorable, someone that has his back when it’s difficult.

He defends Evan, screaming at his mom how Evan has done more for him and Chris than she has and that he’s not trying to take Chris from him, but is actually helping.

“You’re as bad as Shannon was, letting any stranger without a clue into Chris’s life. How is that going to keep him healthy? Neither of you know how to take care of a special child like Chris. You are going to get him hurt and it’s only a matter of time, before Evan leaves too,” she hisses. “Why would he want to spend his life here with you, huh? Do you even know what his motives are? Or are you too blind, still following Shannon’s lead?”

“Evan isn’t going to leave,” Eddie tells her, but he can’t tell her why, he just know that when Evan promised Chris he is here to stay, Eddie believed him.

“We’ll see about that,” mom huffs.

“I guess we will,” Eddie shoots back, before slamming the door closed.

When Evan comes back with Chris from doing groceries later, they find Eddie sitting at the table staring into his coffee. He smiles when Chris comes in and engages enough that Chris doesn’t notice anything is off when he leaves to go play, but Evan does.

“Are you okay?” he asks, taking a seat across from Eddie.

“Yeah. Mom came by, heard you were helping. She didn’t like that,” Eddie sighs. “And I can’t even blame her entirely. I don’t know why you’re doing this, Evan. Chris is my kid, I’m gonna fight for him, I got myself in this mess. You don’t have to give away your youth to take care of him. Why are you still here?”

“I- I can go if you want me to,” Evan says, sounding insecure.

“Please don’t.” The words are out before Eddie can stop them, but he doesn’t regret them when Evan relaxes again and smiles. Eddie gives him a crooked smile and says: “It would be a bad look if you left after I yelled at my mom that you wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, that would be a bad look,” Evan grins back.

Both are quiet for a second, then Evan breaks it again: “And you didn’t get yourself into a mess or giving away your youth. Or mine. Chris is a good kid. The best. I care for him. It would break my heart to leave him.”

“It would break his too,” Eddie says, not adding that it would break his own as well. Evan is his only friend, he can’t imagine what it would do if he left too. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.”

And that is that. Evan is staying. Something that becomes more permanent when Helena tells Mrs. Johnson about what her ranch hand has been doing and she decides to give it a whole new spin, before unceremoniously kicking Evan out and firing him.

Eddie doesn’t even question it, before offering Evan a place in his own home until he figures it out. He slots in at home as easily as he as he has in every other aspect of his life. Their life.

He gets a job in construction instead and Chris gets to an age where he goes to kindergarten. Their routine grows and changes with them.

Morning routine is still Eddie’s responsibility and they eat breakfast as a family, before Evan leaves for work. Eddie drops Chris off at school, then sleeps. He does pick up and spends the afternoon with Chris, before Evan comes home.

Evan can actually semi-cook. He’s not great, but he’s not as horrid as Eddie. They have four meals they eat in rotation. It works for them.

They eat together, then Eddie has to leave for his night shift and Evan does nighttime routine. He is quite smug about it when Chris informs Eddie that Evan is better at doing the voices when reading stories.

On the days Evan doesn’t have to work, they all sleep in, having a lazy breakfast. They go on drives or make outing to the ice cream parlor. When they can afford it they go to the zoo or to a museum. Both know they get some looks, but they’ve learned to ignore those. They’re friends, maybe unnaturally close, but that’s for Chris’s sake.

When Eddie doesn’t have to work, they do the reading together, both voicing the different characters – hence the comparison – before dropping on the couch with a beer. Usually they stay up later than they should, Eddie’s opposite schedule ingrained and Evan who is easily convinced that another hour isn’t so bad. Those are the nights they bond.

For all they do together, they have spend that much time together where they can talk about personal things. Not for child ears things.

But during those nights Evan gets the full rundown of the Diaz family with all its members, Eddie’s childhood and how he wants to do different, better. He also gets more about meeting Shannon, their brief love turned into a marriage that fell apart almost quicker than their love had come together.

Meanwhile, Evan opens up slightly about his own childhood, the one he ran from, the sister that left him and let him go in turn. He hasn’t gotten a letter back in years, tries not to let it get to him. He hasn’t exactly been diligent in writing them either, too caught up in parenting, too unsure what to say, where to begin.

When Chris has to get two surgeries, they sit with each other in the hospital. Eddie wasn’t there for the first one, he imagines Shannon sitting there by herself – or worse with mom – and doesn’t blame her for breaking under the pressure.

He does blame her for not being there when Chris asks if mommy is going to come now that he’s in the hospital, like she had last time. The way Chris breaks all over again when Eddie has to answer no, much like he had during that first birthday and Christmas.

It doesn’t get better after those two hospital stays either. The bills come in the mail and Eddie finds himself at the kitchen table instead of the couch on with Evan one of those precious days he doesn’t have to work. He runs a hand through his hair as he stares at the number. He chokes out: “We’re not going to be able to pay these, even if we both get a second job.”

“What are we going to do?” Evan asks, looking equally as pale as he meets Eddie’s eyes, the calculator hanging uselessly in his hands.

Resigned determination comes over him and he feels detached from himself as the simple answer comes to him: “I’m gonna have to re-enlist.”

~~

A/N:

Nothing said about Shannon this chapter is meant as hate to her or her choices and I hope it doesn’t come across like that. It’s just Eddie’s POV and he’s angry at her, understandably so. However, I do think Shannon has valid reasons for leaving too, even if she could have gone about it a little better. (I actually have a whole Shannon backstory for this verse, but idk if I’ll write it down)

[elixirfromthestars]

Conflict of Interest - II

Pairing: Detective!Bucky Barnes x Lawyer!Reader

Summary: After deserting Bucky at the fair, you are left dealing with the consequences. This becomes difficult as you are all assigned to a new case. 

Word Count: 8.5k

Warning(s): crime show level of violence / homicide investigation details / drinking / angst / fluff / mentions of a car accident and injuries, but no major details / slight cursing / anxiety / overthinking / insecurities / lots of back and forth / misunderstandings / angst with a happy ending 

a/n: It has been a while, but part 2 of this beautiful duo is finally out! ❤️ I hope the length of part 2 can make up for how long it took me to finally finish writing it. It’s angsty with a happy ending, although the happy ending doesn’t come so easily. 👀 Thank you for reading! ❤️ Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!! 💕

➵ Prequel Drabble // ➵ Part I 

     You tossed and turned in your bed once more, the sunlight peeking through your blinds, disturbing your sleep. The events of last Saturday weighed heavy on you. So much so, that you hadn’t gone to work in the past two days—today would be the third. You claimed you came down with the flu, putting on the best performance you could when Natasha called you. You were never able to lie to her face, but over the phone wasn’t as hard. Eventually, however, you would have to go back. 

     Eventually, you would have to face him. 

     Bucky called you a few times that night after you deserted him at the fair. The guilt set in almost immediately and you were too ashamed to answer him. You managed to read one message before silencing all of the notifications on your phone.

     Can you at least let me know you got home safely?

     Your stomach twisted at the words, the culpability of your actions threatening to eat away at it. Even after everything you said, even after running away from him and deserting him at the fair, he still only wanted to know you were safe. There were so many things you wanted to say. Nothing, however, was a good enough response in your mind. There was nothing you could say that wouldn’t leave a door open for more. No matter what you told him it would either crush his heart or give him hope. 

     You didn’t dare do either.

     Instead, you typed something short and to the point. A quick, “I did. Goodnight, Bucky.” 

     You haven’t had a good night’s sleep since.

     “Y/n, where are you? I was supposed to be having lunch with Steve today,” Natasha’s voice was suddenly coming from your living room. “You didn’t answer my calls again. What is going on?” You rose from your bed and walked in the direction of her voice, slightly thinking you were sleep-deprived to the point of hearing things. You were wrong when you were met with her questioning eyes. 

     “Well, you look terrible.” 

     If this were anyone else, and not your best friend of over a decade, you would have felt embarrassed at the state of not only yourself but your apartment as well. There were used dishes littering your coffee table and clothing items spread across the floor. As for your state, it was Wednesday and the last time you showered was before the date with Bucky. Since then, you had been wearing a blue set of satin pajamas that now held strains of evidence of all the takeout you had been eating since. You didn’t need a mirror to see the tragic state of your hair. 

     “I told you, I’m sick. You shouldn’t have come. I’m going to get you sick too,” you tried to sound as convincing as possible, throwing in a couple of fake coughs and straining your voice to make it sound hoarse. You cursed yourself from the past in your head for giving Natasha a key to your apartment.

     “You almost had me there, Y/n. Unfortunately, for you, the squad showed up at our office to brief us on a new case, and guess who was staring at your empty desk the entire time like a wounded puppy?” You couldn't meet her eyes when she spoke and instead plopped yourself down on your couch. Natasha stood on the other side of it, staring at you with her arms crossed. 

     “I think I messed up, Nat.”

     “You think? He practically ran out of the room once the debriefing was over. What the hell happened on Saturday?” She made her way over to you, sitting on the couch across from you. She was waiting for an answer, but it felt as though your throat was closing up. 

     It’s not that you didn’t want to tell her. It’s more like you physically couldn’t. As if some invisible force was preventing you from speaking aloud the thoughts that had been driving you crazy these past few days. They would surely cement themselves into reality if someone, but yourself, heard them. 

     Thankfully, this was Natasha sitting across from you. She knows you better than anyone else and knows exactly how to handle you in situations like this. You of course know her just as well, so you were not surprised when she called off of work and grabbed a bottle of wine with a pair of glasses, from your cupboard, for the two of you. 

     “There’s no way I’m leaving before getting to the bottom of this.”

     After a few sips, the words started to pour out of you faster than Natasha could pour more wine into your glass. Any hindrance or hesitation—gone like that—with a bit of liquid courage in your system. Natasha didn’t say a word nor did she interrupt you at any point. She let you speak until you had spilled everything. You even handed her your phone so she could read the messages Bucky had sent—the ones you didn’t have the courage to read yourself. She scrolled through them, taking a sip of her wine here and there. She was uncharacteristically quiet, and you found yourself biting the inside of your cheek in anticipation. Whenever you gossiped over your usual bad dates she would be filling the silence with laughter and snarky comments. However, this was not just another date. This was a date with Bucky. This means that, as you feared, everything was different.

     “Y/n, I say this with all the love and respect I have for you, but what the fuck did you do?” She raised her voice slightly, confusion etched into her face. You chugged the rest of the wine in your glass to prepare yourself for the conversion you were about to have.

     “Look, I know what it looks like, but I have a good reason.”

     “What it looks like to me is that for months you’ve been complaining about bad dates and sucky men, only to finally go on a good date with a man you clearly have feelings for, and you go and mess it up?”

     “Bucky is not just any guy, Nat. It’s Bucky as in our friend Bucky, who happens to also be our coworker. If we end up being something more to each other and then we break up, it’ll mess up the friendship all of us have. I can’t risk that. I can’t ask you, Sam, or Steve to pick sides when something like that happens. It’s better off this way,” you argued, gripping the wine glass a little too tightly, trying to regain control of your emotions. You didn’t have the energy to cry in front of Natasha while trying to plead your case.

     Natasha sighed, her lips in a tight line,” Y/n, you’re joking right? You two have already been something more to each other for a long time now. Please, none of us are blind to how you two favor each other over the rest of us.” You took a second to let her words sink in. 

     “Even if that’s true, it can’t happen. Too much would change and it would complicate things.”

     “Things always change and you’re the one making things complicated. Y/n, please look at me,” you turned to her, meeting her gaze, “ I don’t care what Prosecutor L/n wants or thinks is right. The only thing that matters is what Y/n wants. This job can’t become our entire life, we are allowed to live outside of it. Let yourself fall in love and be happy.” Her words tugged at your chest as you took her advice into consideration. Nevertheless, your fear of what could happen could not be swayed. 

      “It’s not easy to separate that part of my life. Being a prosecutor is a part of me—a huge part of me. I can’t just set that aside. Nat, I know you mean well, but I think things are better the way they are now. I’ll go back to work tomorrow. I promise things will continue as they always have,” you put your wine glass down on the coffee table, an ill feeling bubbling within your stomach. Natasha let out a defeated sigh, “If that’s what you really want, then I’ll respect that. But I have to tell you that whatever it is you're really scared of, it’s making you let go of possibly one of the best things that could have ever happened to you.” This time her words made your heart sink in disappointment knowing what you were giving up.

     She didn’t stay long after that. You chatted about work, the new case, and other frivolous things. Your mind, however, was elsewhere the entire time. Like a broken record, it repeated her words and Bucky’s over and over, almost as if to torture you. When she left, you ended up cleaning your entire apartment to distract yourself from your thoughts. It had never been so spotless. 

     The next day, you went to work to prove to Natasha, and to yourself, that everything was okay. Nothing had to change and everyone could operate as usual. What you didn’t expect was to be called into the Brooklyn precinct on your first day back. You managed to skim through a few files on your way there to get caught up on the case. Which thankfully, hadn’t really started until today.

     You took a deep breath stepping out of the precinct elevator. Walking down the hallway, you were mere moments away from seeing Bucky again and your nerves were uncontrollable. You told yourself it was best to act professionally towards him, but you knew that was easier said than done. 

     As soon as you walked through the precinct entrance, your eyes scanned the entire room. Your heart skipped a beat when you noticed Bucky in the conference area, looking over evidence with Detective Maria Hill and Detective Sharon Carter. His back was facing you, so he hadn’t noticed you yet. On the other side of the room, Steve was with Sam, having a conversation with what looked like to be the suspect’s attorney. Now you understood why you were called in. 

     “Counselor Murdock, back to lose another case?” You asked teasingly. He smiled, a slight chuckle escaping him, “Not this time. Although, if this goes to court I’m happy it's you prosecuting this case. You’re the only prosecutor whose voice I like hearing throughout the trial. If anything I’m looking forward to it.” Murdock gave you a cheeky grin, being flirtatious as always. You laughed it off, used to him being this way since your law school days. 

     “I think it’s time we move things along. Have you spoken to your client yet?” 

     “Not yet. I arrived a few moments before you did.” 

     “Well then, you should go inside and speak to him. The detectives will join you momentarily. I hope we can have full cooperation.”

     “No promises,” he shrugged, a smug look on his face. Once he entered the interrogation room you turned to Steve and Sam, “ You shouldn’t leave them in there too long before they decide not to cooperate. What do we have on the suspect?” 

     "Not much. The suspect, Quentin Beck, was the victim's boyfriend and the last person to see her alive. Her body was found under a bridge not too far from their shared apartment. Initially, she was a Jane Doe found with no possessions on her until we ran her fingerprints and found she was arrested prior for a misdemeanor. He says she went out with her friends and never came home. He filed a police report a week ago,” Sam explained.

     “Sounds like there’s not much to go on. Getting a warrant for the apartment wouldn’t be hard, but the evidence would be too circumstantial. She lives there so, of course, her DNA would be everywhere,” your brain went into prosecutor mode, sifting through mental files of any possible charges.  

     “Could you get us a warrant for his car? If he transported the body there has to be some evidence left inside. This guy thinks he’s clever. Never seen someone so calm and indifferent to the death of their loved one. I got a feeling he killed her,” Sam continued. 

     You shook your head, “Unfortunately, I need something more than just feelings to convict. I don’t think we have enough evidence to get a judge to sign off on a warrant. You’d have to get him to talk more and spill something. If she went out with her friends then maybe they know something. You can question their neighbors or tenant to see if there were any prior domestic disturbances, but for now, that’s all. We need more to go on than pure speculation.”

     “Carter, Barnes, Hill!” Steve called the rest of the squad over and you tensed up knowing he was approaching. It was easy to stay focused on the job when he wasn’t close. You couldn’t look at him and instead directed your attention to the suspect inside the interrogation room. He looked like the average white male, sort of handsome if you squinted hard enough. However, if this job had taught you anything, looks can be deceiving. 

     “Hill, I want you in the interrogation room with me. You’re best with the clever ones. Wilson, Carter, go back to the apartment complex and question the tenant, the neighbors they have nearby, and even the one directly underneath their apartment. Maybe they can tell us if they were as happy as a couple as he said they were. Barnes, I need you to investigate her social media and see if any of her friends posted this alleged outing. Find a way to contact them and ask them what they know. Counselor, I would like it if you stayed to watch over the interrogation. You know how to handle Murdock better than any of us,” Steve turned to you once he was done giving his orders. You faced him, getting a glimpse of Bucky from the corner of your eye. You felt his stare on you the entire time Steve was talking. 

     “Of course,” your response was brief, and the tone of your voice was weak. Bucky’s intense stare was clouding your senses. The room suddenly felt smaller, and you wanted to ask Steve who had cranked up the heat.

     Steve shot Bucky a quick glance before directing his attention back to you. By the look on his face, you knew he was putting two and two together. All of your friends here were detectives. You wouldn’t put it past them to figure it out.

Your clothes suddenly felt two sizes too small. 

     “Okay, everyone knows what they have to do. We’ll regroup around noon. If you end up with any new leads you want to pursue, call in and let me know first,” Steve gave the last of his instructions, sending everyone off. It took him a second, but Bucky walked away to his desk, which was thankfully the furthest from you. You took a deep breath to calm your nerves. Nothings changed. You repeated these words over and over in your head, to remind yourself—no, to convince yourself they were true. Which was hard when Bucky was staring holes into the back of your head. You could see him vaguely behind you through the reflective surface of the two-way mirror. It took everything within you not to turn around and lock eyes with him. 

     After watching the interrogation for about forty minutes, you ended up with the same conclusion as Sam. Quentin Beck was guilty—he had to be. There was no proof yet, only the gut feeling you and Sam had felt, however, you knew deep down he had killed his girlfriend. As you listened to him speak you realized he was the kind of man who with one look made the hairs on the back of your neck stand. His eyes were the muddiest shade of blue, lifeless and cold. You didn't believe for a second he was ever in love with the victim. There was a moment you could have sworn he look through the two-way mirror right at you. You hated how intimidated you felt at that moment. 

     If it was the last thing you did, you would make sure this man would rot behind bars for the rest of his life.

     Nothing new was learned from the interrogation. Steve and Maria came out of there, letting the hard look on their faces fall into defeat. Anytime they almost caught Quentin slipping up, Murdock was there to save him. 

     “Counselor, I think it's time you take a turn. Murdock is giving us a run for our money,” Maria suggested, glaring at the two men inside the room. 

     “She won’t have to. Look,” Bucky rushed over to where the three of you were, tablet in hand, to show you all something, “See these videos? The victim's friends sent me these from the night they all went out. The suspect dropped her off and picked her up from the outing. He’s lying about her never going home. And see this?” 

     Bucky’s hand slid back and forth on the screen showing two screenshots of two different cars with two different license plates. You were too engrossed with the wickedness of the details you hadn’t noticed Bucky was standing next to you until his arm brushed up against yours. 

     “They’re two different cars, that bastard. He picked her up in a different car than the one he dropped her off in. What car did he drive here?” Maria’s teeth were gritted. “I checked the cameras and there’s a match for the first car he drove parked next to Carter’s,” Bucky showed another screenshot of the same car as the first, parked in the precinct parking lot. 

     “Counselor, is this enough to get us a warrant?” Steve asked you. 

     You considered the evidence before speaking, “This is more than enough to get a warrant on both cars. Although, it’s better if you send all of this to Romanoff. She’s closer to the judge’s chambers and can get you a warrant faster than I can. If you stall him long enough, you’ll have the warrant and the crime scene unit here to investigate the car before your time to question him is up. We don’t want him erasing any evidence,” you suggested. 

     Steve agreed, “Barnes, call Prosecutor Romanoff and give her all the information you have to get that warrant. Hill, go back in there and give him another round of questioning, maybe some paperwork to file. I have to make a few calls before I go back in. Counselor, I think we’ll be okay for now, but I’d appreciate it if you could deliver the warrant to Murdock himself. Something tells me if you give it to him, he’ll go easier on countering it.” 

     You nodded your head in agreement, feeling Bucky step away from you and shooting you one last glance before going back to his desk and doing as ordered. Maria went ahead and reluctantly made her way back into the interrogation room. Steve was standing there quietly, a pensive look on his face. There was clearly something on his mind, and you dreaded knowing exactly what it was. 

     “You and Bucky, is everything okay between you two?”

     “Everything’s fine.”

     “Things don’t seem fine.” 

     “They are. It’s all fine. Everything’s fine.”

     The look Steve gave you let you know he wasn’t believing a word you said. However, he didn’t push it, merely sending you a sympathetic smile with kind eyes that made you want to confess everything. Steve wasn’t Natasha though. Steve was Bucky’s best friend and you didn’t deserve to be consoled by him—only hated. You broke his best friend’s heart and if he didn’t know, he would know soon enough. 

     Maybe Natasha was right. Maybe things always change anyways. 

     But in this case, it was okay, because at least in this case you were the bad guy. You were the heartbreaker and everyone can hate you. No one has to pick sides because you made it easy for them to choose Bucky, and you were okay with that. 

     You had to be okay with that.  

     “Anyway, you have Captain duties to get to, and I have a lot of work to catch up on after the whole fair—flu thing,” you cleared your throat, stopping yourself from saying anything else. If Steve had noticed your slip-up, he didn’t acknowledge it. You let him know you would be back to hand the physical warrant to Murdock. You then excused yourself to make a quick getaway out of the precinct. 

     You speed walked out into the hallway that led to the elevator. You knew it was a comical sight how fast you were booking it out of there, but you didn’t care. You begged Natasha in your head to keep Bucky on the phone just long enough for you to slip out. 

     Unfortunately, for you, the phone call was already over.  

     You heard his footsteps before his voice, “Y/n, we need to talk.” 

     “Sorry, Bucky, I can’t right now. I’m behind on paperwork and I need to get to the office as soon as possible,” you dismissed him, thankful the elevator doors were already open. A few officers were getting off, giving you the chance to quickly slip in without waiting. 

     Bucky, however, was also quick and moved his hand in between the elevator doors so it wouldn't close, “You can’t even give me a minute? I don’t even deserve that?” The pain and disbelief in his voice were unbearable to hear. You stared at his feet, not being able to meet the eyes you knew would match the emotions in his voice.

      “Bucky, I really can’t talk right now.”

     “You can, you just don’t want to talk to me. You can’t even look at me.”

     The tone in his voice froze you in your spot. It was foreign and angry. Bucky had never directed that kind of tone your way. A tone you could only associate with hatred. Something you had previously established was okay. If all your friends could hate you for hurting Bucky, then Bucky had every right to hate you for hurting him. He deserved so much more than you. He deserved to be with someone who wasn’t so conflicted about being with him. Maybe if he hated you too, everything would be much easier to get through. 

     Before you could respond or Bucky could say anything else, another group of officers stepped into the elevator, causing Bucky to remove his hand. The officers sent you quizzical looks as one of them pressed the ground-level button setting the elevator in motion. You were shakily gripping your briefcase, watching Bucky’s feet disappear as the elevator doors closed. 

     It’s okay Bucky, you can hate me. You thought to yourself, as though somehow being able to transmit this to him.

     The next few weeks were agonizing. You and Bucky avoided each other at all costs throughout the entire case. If he came by the office he was never alone and all his questions were addressed to Natasha. He wouldn’t so much as glance your way and you understood why he was so hurt when you wouldn’t even look at him in the elevator. To have somebody who meant the world to you, who made you feel seen, act like you no longer existed was as if you were dead to them.

     Maybe you were to him now.

     The last time he ever spoke to you was after Quentin was arraigned and his bail was posted. Natasha made you go to the precinct to collect copies of witness statements. You were annoyed, knowing Steve or any other detective could have sent those copies digitally or even faxed them. It wasn’t until you arrived at the precinct and saw only Bucky was around that you realized this was a setup. 

     “Hey...I came to get the copies of witness statements Nat called in earlier saying we needed,” your voice was stiff as you stood awkwardly by Bucky’s desk. He had been typing away at his computer before you approached him, and wasn’t showing any signs of stopping at your arrival.

     He clenched his jaw, nodding slowly, getting up from his desk and going into Steve’s office. You took a step forward only to stop yourself, knowing it wasn’t a good idea to follow him in. He clearly wasn’t in a good mood at the sight of your presence.

     He came out of the office moments later with a stack of manila folders in his hands. He handed them to you, “Here, this should be everything you need.” His tone was distant and professional. You grabbed them, the apprehensive tension between you two threatening to suffocate you. You managed to mutter out a small thank you before leaving.  

     Neither of you looked at the other during that last interaction.

     Steve, Sam, and Natasha tried talking to you about the situation—well more like Steve and Sam tried talking to you, and Natasha lectured you—but, you never gave them any real answers or explanations. You knew where they were coming from, but any brainpower you had left was dedicated to the case. You poured every waking hour into it to distract yourself from everything else. This worked incredibly, although it also brought on a foreboding feeling for when the case was over. Once you reached the finish line, it would be hard to ignore the obstacles on the other side of it. 

     This was the complete opposite of making things easier for you. In his absence, you realized how much you truly missed him and how comfortable you had gotten with his usual presence. This was the first case where you didn’t have late nights working on paperwork, and days going out to the field together to investigate. Natasha and you typically did your work separately which made it easy for Bucky, in previous cases, to come in and partner up with you at any opportunity.

     You especially felt his absence when it came to rehearsing your opening remarks for Quentin Beck’s trial. You always did this with Bucky, but now he wasn’t here to give you pointers and reassuring words. He wasn’t here to comfort you and let you know you were going to do great. There was a moment when you were a click away from calling him the night before the trial but decided against it knowing how unfair that was to him. 

     No, instead, you had your bedroom wall staring back at you as you practiced your opening speech. 

     This was the loneliest you had ever felt. 

     On the day of the trial, you went over your notes with Natasha before it commenced. You dotted all your i’s and crossed all your t’s. You couldn’t afford to let Quentin Beck slip through the laws of justice over a technicality. He had murdered his girlfriend out of spite and jealousy, and thanks to the best detective team in Brooklyn, you had all the evidence to prove it. 

     Your opening went smoothly. The jury was immediately entranced by your persuasiveness—you even saw a few of them cry. This was good. As long as you continued to show them the monster Quentin Beck was, the easier and faster they would convict him. 

     Like any other trial, you and Natasha spilt the witnesses in half. Natasha was better at intimidating anyone on the stand, while your strong suit lay in appealing to the jury. Any emotionally packed moment was one you delivered. Any moment someone needed to be put in their place, there Natasha was. That is how the rest of the trial went. 

     When Quentin Beck was put on the stand, the tension in the room became palpable. Already the jury hated him, and his nonchalant demeanor did nothing to help. His eyes would glance over the room and every time his eyes met yours, you had to do everything in your power not to visibly shiver. After the brutality of the evidence of the victim’s murder was discovered his eyes became to you nothing short of haunting. In them lay a storm that was waiting to ensnare you and drown you. You couldn’t shake the discomfort they brought you when it was time to give the closing arguments.

     You were good at thinking on your feet, so closing remarks always came effortlessly to you. It’s the same as always working on homicide cases. Humanize the victim as much as possible to the jury. Remind them the victim was a daughter, a cousin, a friend, and to many others so much more than that. Remind them the defendant was a cold-blooded killer. The one to act as the judge, jury, and executioner to the victim. Matt was trying to get a third-degree murder charge, while you and Natasha were gunning for first-degree.

     The entire trial is important to the jury. They have countless notes to look back on and read over to refresh their memories. However, it's the closing statements that always stick with them the most since it'll be the last they hear from either side. You were great at closing the case, but you had to admit, Matt was damn good at it as well. 

     You made a dire mistake upon giving the final speech. In a moment of accusation, you pointed to the defendant, and let those same lifeless eyes intimidate you for a split second. It was quick, and yet that was all it took to feel like you were drowning again. To play this fear off you took an emotional pause to gain your grounding. To anyone who didn’t know you, this was a moment of silence for them to reflect on the tragedy of this crime. Anyone who knew you though knew this was a moment for you to catch your breath.

     Bucky was one of those people. When your eyes locked as you looked out into the sea of the trial audience he sent you a small smile and gave you an encouraging nod. That was all you needed to knock your closing statement out of the park. 

     The jury didn't take long to deliberate. The guilty verdict came back in record time. 

     “Always a pleasure losing to you, Counselor L/n,” you heard Matt say behind you as he approached you after the trial. Natasha was a few feet away talking to Steve and the rest of the detectives. No doubt planning the usual celebration after a successful case. 

     “You know, when you say it like that you make it sound like you lose on purpose,” you countered teasingly, packing up your stuff. Your goal was to sneak out of the courthouse as quickly and as quietly as possible. 

     He chuckled, “Never. Ever since law school you and I have gone back and forth with wins and losses. Maybe more losses on my part than wins.” This brought an amused grin to your face, “So you admit I’ve always been a better lawyer than you?” This made you both laugh. After the last few weeks of feeling as though the world was crumbling down on you, it felt nice to bicker playfully with an old friend. It certainly made the air easier to breathe.

     “Walk me out?” You asked him. In response, he extended his arm out for you to grab onto to ‘guide him gracefully out of the building,’ as he put it. You rolled your eyes knowing very well he could navigate the courthouse halls better than you. Nevertheless, you linked your arm with his and walked out amongst the crowd of those who had attended the trial. As you were leaving you could've sworn a pair of eyes were on you. However, not wanting to confirm who those eyes belonged to, you ignored them and walked out of the courthouse with Matt. You continued to talk about the past and reminisce the days filled with bar exam study sessions and research essays on the fundamental principles of the jury selection process. 

     Outside, Matt helped you into a taxi, saying goodbye before parting ways. You were heading home wanting nothing more than to give yourself a long bath and maybe a nice nap. Anything to wind down from the stressful trial. Your usual method of stress relief after a trial was a fun night out with your friends, but of course this time it would be different. 

     You were getting fed up with different.

     Your mind wandered back to Bucky’s encouragement during your closing. Even after everything Bucky was still caring and looking out for you. Guilt and shame were once more having a fight within you to see who could feast off of you more. Before you could lose yourself to these emotions, a call interrupted them.

     “You’re not coming are you.”

     “I will. I’ll take a taxi later.” 

     “You can lie to everyone, Y/n. Even to yourself, but you can’t lie to me.” 

     She was right as usual. 

     “I can’t go, Nat. I have tons of stuff to do. I have to prepare some final motions and other paperwork.” 

     You wished the ground would swallow you at this very moment. 

     “You’re scared of things changing, but can't you see they already did?”

     Again, she was right as usual, hanging up on you as you arrived outside your home feeling your world start to crumble again. Any sense of normalcy Matt had given you gone with one phone call. 

     The rest of your afternoon into the evening was spent giving yourself lots of self-care which consisted of a warm bath and shopping online for things you absolutely did not need. Anything to help you feel better. You tried convincing yourself it was okay for things to be different now. It was hard to pretend you didn’t care when in reality you cared way too much. 

     As midnight approached, you poured yourself a glass of wine to celebrate your trial win. “Congratulations on another win, Prosecutor L/n,” you mustered as much fake enthusiasm as you could, and attempted to take a celebratory sip of wine, but found yourself fighting off tears instead. 

     Correction, this was the loneliest you had ever felt.

     Your pity party was cut short by a knock on your door. You looked over at the time, fifteen minutes till midnight, and wondered who it could be. You knew at least it wasn’t Natasha since she would've just let herself in with her spare key. 

     You tiptoed over to your door and checked the peephole almost knocking your head against it in shock. Bucky was on the other side holding something in his hands. Your hand shot out to the doorknob, rattling it for a second, but you couldn't find the strength to open it. As a prosecutor, confrontation naturally comes to you. You found yourself surprised to know this wasn’t the case with Bucky. To face him and your actions these past few weeks was more anxiety-inducing than when you took the bar exam many years ago. Which was saying something since you threw up twice the morning of your bar exam.

     At this point, you didn’t open the door not because you didn't want to, but because you physically couldn't. Your sweaty palms had a hard time twisting the lock off the door. 

     “Y/n, you don't have to open the door, but please just listen.” 

     His voice was hesitant and slightly muffled on the other side. He seemed to be walking on eggshells around you and wanted to choose his words carefully. You didn’t blame him as you avoided him as much as he had avoided you. You more so than him if you were honest. 

     “Okay,” you whispered loud enough for him to hear. There was so much more you wanted to say, but once again in the presence of Bucky, you were rendered speechless. 

     There was a slight shifting sound on the other side of the door before he spoke, “Look, these past few weeks I tried really hard to push my feelings away, but I was only getting more frustrated with myself. In pushing my feelings away, I pushed you away and I don’t want that. I miss you,” his voice broke toward the end and he paused before continuing, “I want you—no, I need you to be a part of my life even if it's just as friends. Y/n, don't think for one second I regret taking you on that date because I don’t, but I can’t keep going on acting like we don’t know each other anymore.”

     Your hand on the doorknob tightened as you blinked a few years away. You wanted to tell him that despite how it all ended that day was from a handful of days where you experienced the beauty of romance. To recognize it as such made your chest ache with longing, but it was the truth. It was cliche and yet, it was the first time you understood what it meant to feel sparks when kissing someone. It was a foreign sensation you wished the universe would give you the chance to feel again. 

     This and so much more were the things you wanted to say to the wonderful man on the other side. You were hesitant, however, to speak, afraid even one syllable would sound incomprehensible with the emotions you were trying to keep in control. Instead, you rested your head on the door and tried to calm down your racing heart. Maybe if you managed to do that you could say something—anything, to ease the pain for both of you.

     There was rustling on the other side of the door and you wondered what he was doing. “Today, when I saw how you were able to smile and laugh around Murdock, it reminded me of how we used to be. And I realize we might not have that again, but I’ll try to get back to a place like that. All I ask is for you to be patient with me because what I feel for you isn’t something that leaves from one day to the next, but to respect your wishes I’ll try. It’ll kill me, but I’ll try.”

     Bucky’s words ripped your heart right out of your chest. If he said anything after that you wouldn’t know, your mind was no longer in the moment. It was racing a mile a minute grappling with what you wanted and what you thought you wanted. You tried convincing yourself for weeks that all you wanted was to go back to normal with Bucky. To have his friendship in your life because that would be enough. It wasn’t until he said he’d try his best to get rid of his feelings for you that you realized being just friends was never going to be enough—not anymore. 

     You stepped away from your door when the realization hit. What you felt towards him now was entirely different than the small crush you had on him when you first met. In all this time of getting to know him, he had wedged his way into your heart and found a permanent spot there. There was only one word that could summarize why in his absence it felt like a part of you was missing—it was love. 

     You were in love with Detective James Buchanan Barnes. 

     You got a taste of what it was like to be lovers with him and you knew no matter what you tried to do, nobody else could satiate what Bucky had awakened. A part of you was still scared of what could happen if things went south, but the fear of closing that door of being something more with Bucky was greater than the consequences that could happen in the case of a conflict of interest. You felt immensely stupid for not realizing this sooner.

     Before your mind drove you any crazier, your body took charge and swung your door open. Bucky was used to your incoherences, so at least he would be able to string together some parts of what was about to spill from your mouth.

     This was cut short as you were met with no one on the other side of the doorway. Bucky was gone. He must have said goodbye and you didn’t hear it over the back and forth in your head. 

     You took a deep breath surprisingly relieved. As much as you would love to chase after him in your pajamas at midnight in the Brooklyn streets, you didn’t want to seem like a mad woman. Instead, you used this as an opportunity to collect your thoughts and prepare yourself for pouring out your heart to Bucky tomorrow. He had done the same, and you rejected him. There was a possibility you had to prepare yourself for him to do the same. You felt as though he had every right to after how you treated him. 

     Before you closed the door, you noticed there were two things on the ground Bucky must have left for you. One, a bag of takeout from your favorite restaurant which made you realize you completely forgot about dinner, and two, the teddy bear from the night of the fair. Your heart burst at the sight. You bent down and grabbed the teddy bear delicately as if it were a small child and hugged it. 

     It smelled like funnel cake and a happier time. 

     You brought in the takeout, never letting go of the bear. You couldn’t tell if the empty feeling in your stomach was from your lack of eating dinner, or from the guilt that was still making its home there over your treatment of Bucky. He deserved so much better and maybe he had realized that. 

     Maybe that’s why he said he’d get rid of his feelings for you. 

     You shook the doubt away, exhaustion taking over your body. You put the takeout in the fridge, not having the appetite for anything right now. You decided you would wake up early in the morning and make Bucky some freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. He loves when you bake a batch and bring them down to the precinct. He always said they were his favorite—now if that was because you made them or they actually were his favorite, there was no way to know.

      The cookies were to sweeten up your apology, which was a long thought-out one you wrote in the notes app on your phone before going to bed. It could honestly rival any speeches you had ever given in court. 

     You fell asleep that night with the teddy bear in your arms. 

     Your idea to wake up early in the morning to bake cookies was a good one—if you hadn't overslept. In the midst of Bucky’s surprise visit, and writing him an apology, you forgot to charge your phone and set your alarm. So instead of waking up at six as you intended, you woke up at ten. Thankfully, since you just ended a big case there was no urgency to be at the office bright and early in the morning. Even though a bit rushed, you still baked the cookies and got ready as usual. Although, this morning you noticed you felt a bit more self-conscious about your appearance. 

     What does one wear to confess your feelings to someone you already rejected?

     Is there an outfit that conveys I’m sorry, better than you ever could? 

     You wouldn't know. 

     You were able to charge your phone halfway before heading out. You packed the cookies in a red tupperware container sticking a post-it note at the top that read: For Bucky <3. You gave the teddy bear a goodbye wave as you exited. 

     You decided against taking the subway today and got a lift from a taxi instead. You sent Bucky a quick text to let him know you needed to talk to him and if you could meet up with him at the park closest to the precinct. You knew his lunch break was coming up, so you hoped you could talk to him then. 

     As soon as you sent the text your phone rang, your heart skipping a beat. There’s no way Bucky read that message that quickly. 

     You were right. It wasn’t Bucky calling you, it was Natasha.

     “Hey, Nat. Sorry, I overslept, but I’m close to the offic—” 

     "Y/n, where are you?” There was a hint of panic in her voice. 

     “Heading to the office...” you trailed off an uneasiness crawling its way up your spine. 

     “Tell the driver to go to Stark Hospital. There’s been an accident.” 

     You froze, “Natasha, are you okay? Is everything okay? Are you hurt?” 

     “It’s not me, it’s Bucky. He was in a car accident.”

     The cookie container fell from your lap. You don’t know how you managed to find your voice to tell the driver to take you to Stark Hospital, but you did. A few blocks away there was a traffic jam, and the desperation to see Bucky and make sure he was okay was more than you or the driver could bear. You paid the driver and rushed out of the taxi, maneuvering your way through the rest of the cars until you reached the sidewalk. You continued to run from there.

     Three blocks away. 

     Bucky was fine. He had to be fine. 

     Two blocks away. 

     Please, Bucky, for the love of everything, please be fine. 

     One block away. 

     Bucky, I can’t live without you, so please be fine.

     Out of breath and barely able to see from the tears obstructing your vision, you made your way into the emergency room. You looked around the waiting room but saw no familiar faces. A nurse noticed you and came over. 

     “Ma’am, who are you looking for?”

     “James Buchanan Barnes.” 

     “He’s in the back in room seven, I have to first—wait, you can’t just go in.”

     The nurse tried to stop you, but you must have looked at her like the world was ending because her features softened, “Ma’am, I have to get you an approved visitor's pass. We can’t just have anyone back there.” 

     “Screw the visitor’s pass, that's my fiancé you have back there. I have to see him,” you lied hiding your left hand in your bag in the process, moving past the nurse. You knew she was just doing her job, but the hopelessness you felt at that moment made you desperate. 

     Despite the nurse's protests, you marched your way into the back of the emergency room where all the patients were. You located room number seven and bolted straight to it, pushing the door open. Bucky was sitting on top of a hospital bed, his left arm in a sling, and his face scattered with a few cuts. He jerked back startled by your entrance. Relief overtook your features, finding yourself able to breathe again. 

     “I am so sorry for the intrusion sir, but your fiancé was worried and insisted on seeing you.” 

     You froze in your spot, sheepishly, at the nurse’s words. Right, you told the nurse you were Bucky’s fiancé. Bucky bit his lip amused, “She was, was she? Of course, my doll was,” he extended his right hand toward you inviting you into his arms. You walked over to him timidly, as the nurse excused herself closing the door behind her. 

     When you heard the door close you embraced him tightly. He winced and you pulled away quickly, “Oh—sorry, Bucky.” He shook his head, grinning giddily, “Don’t apologize, I’m feeling better already.” Unamused, you scanned his injuries, “Are you really? What happened?” At your question, Bucky explained how he and Sam were pursuing a suspect who rammed his car against theirs to stop them from catching him. Sam caught up to him on foot, since the car had been damaged, but Bucky had received the brunt of the hit and that’s how he ended up with a fractured arm and bruised ribs.

     “I’ll lock him up you know. He assaulted an officer, he evaded arrest, and who knows how many traffic violations he committed,” the more you spoke the more upset you became. You didn’t realize you were crying until Bucky wiped the tears from your face, and spoke softly to you, “I know you will, you’re the best at that. I see it’s true, though. My fiancé was worried about me.” A look of endearment was on his face while yours was flushed with embarrassment. Although you didn’t bother to correct him, wanting to forget you ever said that to the nurse. 

     “Well, I was worried. I thought, maybe—no, I don’t even want to say what I thought. I’m just glad you're okay. I actually wanted to talk to you, and say I was sorry and give you, oh no,” you looked down at your empty hands, no tupperware of homemade cookies in sight.

     “The taxi,” you gasped. 

     “Give me…a taxi?” Bucky was looking at you delightedly, holding in his laughter. 

     “Not a taxi, cookies.” 

     “Cookies?”

     “Yes, I baked cookies to give to you as an apology. I also had this whole speech prepared that I can’t remember right now. I wanted to say I’m so sorry for everything. For being so stupid and not talking it through with you since the beginning. For turning you down before even really giving us a chance. For letting my fear of what could happen, take control of this situation instead of taking control of it myself and handling it properly,” you were rambling on and on causing Bucky to chuckle before grimacing at the pain, his bruised ribs not appreciating his sense of humor. 

     “Now, was this apology decided before or after you found out about my car accident.” 

     “Before. Why?” 

     “Well I thought maybe all I needed to do was get pummeled by a car to see your pretty face again,” he joked, causing you to laugh, "Shut up, it’s the painkillers talking isn’t it?” 

     “God, I missed seeing you smile at me, doll,” he was looking at you like he had won the lottery. 

     “There’s something I missed too,” you said sincerely thinking back to how empty you felt without Bucky in your life. You looked down at his injured arm, but he used his good one to lift your chin to look at him. His eyes twinkled, catching on to what you were saying, “Does this mean I can give up on trying to get rid of my feelings for you?” 

     You nodded, not knowing what words were enough to convey how you felt. Instead, you decided to show him through your actions—so you kissed him. There they were again, those damn sparks only Bucky could make you experience. 

     He pulled you in by your waist with his free hand, so you were standing in between his legs. He reciprocated the kiss just as intensely as you had given it. Your hands reached up to cradle his head and pull him in closer—if that were even possible. This time there was no fear and no hesitation as you lost yourselves in the emotions you had been holding back for weeks. 

     The apologies, the loneliness, the anger, the sadness, the frustration, and everything in between melted away leaving only the love that was blossoming between you two behind. 

✧༺♡༻∞　　∞༺♡༻✧

Lovelies who asked to be tagged: @enchantedbarnes @sebsgirl71479 @xcaptain-winterx​ @marvel-wifey-86 

[leeofthevoid]

Cold-blooded Beings - Part 4

Farleigh Start x Reader

a/n: It's been a rollercoaster and I hope I delivered a decent chapter this time around. I was thinking about making oneshots soon while resting my brain from this series. I promise you...Things will go a little crazier from here. Please share your thoughts! I'm so scared to write SMUT.

Warnings: Mentions of Alcohol, Strong language, Violence

Word Count: 2521

|| Part One, Part Two, Part Three

Guilt and Glory

With the help of other butlers, Duncan helped you, Farleigh, and Felix settle in. After two weeks of convincing from Farleigh and Felix that you should stay at Saltburn for the summer, you finally caved. It saved you hours on the plane going back to your estate in Andalusia for two months. 

Three days before Saltburn:

Getting a phone call from your mom after your exams, hoping for congratulations and a heartwarming invite to stay at your family home in Vienna. "Hello, daughter, how have you been?" You cleared your throat and smiled, "Been doing well, Mama."

"Very well then, I must let you know that you will reside at the South Estates when you depart from Oxford." You sighed and bit your lip in disappointment, trying to save yourself from an argument you might start and lose. "I see; thank you for informing me ahead of time. Where will you all be, if you don't mind me asking?" 

"Your Papa and I will be in France with your siblings. There has been a problem with our family branch there; your father's side always wants attention to be on them." You can't help but sigh with your mom, remembering how your cousins who lived in France were so overbearing even though they only leeched off from your father with money, not even half your allowance. Fakes. "Stay safe, Mama. I love you. Tell Papa and the little ones that, too." She hummed and ended your call.

"Well, that was stressful," Farleigh commented while typing away at his laptop. "Sorry you had to hear that; extended families suck ass." Farleigh chuckled and looked at you briefly before typing again. "I would know." He took refuge in your room every chance he got because you apparently had excellent ventilation and better leg space. Very obvious by the way he called dibs on your bed. "You'd like that, though, right? Be able to tell the leeches off?" 

You turned back at Farleigh while you sat on the foot of the bed, confused. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

He raised both his eyebrows with a slight smirk playing on his lips. "I'm just saying. You were so annoyed with your family leeching off your father, yet you can't tell Oliver he's using you as an ATM." He raised both his shoulders innocently and bit his lower lip. 

The air turned hot, and you didn't like the room's energy. "Farleigh, he's my friend." 

"Or your pet project?" He closed his laptop with a loud click and looked at you, waiting for a fight. It was frustrating on your part to be asked such cruel questions, especially after your Mother basically left you on your own. 

"Leave it, Farleigh. I'm not in the mood to discuss this." 

He scoffed. "Why? Because it's true? You just got bored like Felix and preyed on the scholarship weirdo." A visible frown plastered on your face as you stood up. He slid to the edge of your bed, a smirk still on his face. "Stop!" 

"Are you scared to admit that he looked so helpless when Mr. Ware favored me over him? When he stood in the corner of the hallways without friends?" 

"Farleigh, what the fuck!" 

He stood up and started to walk closer to you. "No. I'm sick of you playing god. You and Felix think you could bring another kid into the group without problems?" 

"Farleigh enough!" 

He was before you, towering over you with that shit-eating grin. "Is the Monarch losing her cool?" 

"Fuck off, Farleigh! Just because the Cattons took you in doesn't mean you're not a leech, too!" 

He smiled at you and sighed. "That's why I like you, Y/N. You're rotten, unlike me, who begs, right?"

You looked up at him with a confused look. "What happened? W-Why are you like this?" 

Farleigh didn't answer and left your room. 

You found out that night from Annabel that Farleigh apparently overheard how you and Felix talked about his Mother. How Felix told you about Fredrica Start's pitiful fate and your blatant honesty of her foolishness, making Farleigh beg for allowance more ever since she got sick. 

You sat down on your bed while Duncan instructed the maids how you liked your room done; he's such a true gentleman for that. They took a few minutes to place things under the head butler's watch and hurriedly left the room when they finished. 

"Dinner is the same time as before, Miss Y/N. Please wear something appropriate for a black tie event." You thanked him as he left. Leaving you alone in the special room the Cattons gave you. Venetia always said it would be yours because you were part of their family. Starting to think that you've been too loose with your mouth about family. 

Speaking of Venetia, she lightly knocked on the door and opened it, finding you in the middle of the room. "When they said they had someone good for me here, I didn't expect they were telling the truth." You ran to her and hugged her tight, even lifting her off the ground for a split second. "Vee! I missed you so much! You look beautiful!" 

A chorus of laughter and giddiness filled the once-quiet room. Venetia pulled you to your bed and sat down facing each other. "Babes, I was a fucking wreck when you left. Felix and Farleigh were worse, but that day was the most horrendous. Duncan had to pry Felix off the gate, Farleigh threatened to commit arson, and I was inconsolable." She had a knack for exaggerating stories like your Aunt Elspeth, but it does put a funny image in your head. 

You laughed, but she tried to convince you more. "I personally tried to jump off the plane to go back, but the guards told me that I would break my legs." Venetia realized how silly it sounded and laughed with you. You missed her so much because she never honestly did act her age, but in a way, you liked it better. Being able to have an older person connect with you better.

You plopped yourself on the bed as Venetia inspected her nails. "Farleigh and I aren't on good terms." She looked away from her nails to give you a look of disbelief. "Oh, please. Farleigh could never stand not being with you. Whatever you did, he would have been over it by now." You dramatically gasped and put a hand on your chest. "Why would you assume that it was me!" 

"Between you and Farleigh, you never get butthurt with anything since you were little." She was right. Farleigh seemed to be back to normal when you sat next to him in the cab, clingy. Did you catch him at the wrong time that day? Either way, you'll confront him after dinner to ease your nerves. 

Venetia talked her head off about the things she's been doing at Cambridge, even told you about the boys there that you should meet since "Oxford men are so last season," according to her. You both got ready in your room when Felix knocked on your door to join the gossip session you were having. Felix may be a guy, but he sure does have the mouth to rival his Mother. The room was filled with gasps, giggles, and squealing when Duncan knocked on your door to fetch you. It's dinner time. 

Venetia wasn't a fan of dinner time, especially when Elspeth did nothing but shower others with affection and not her. Elspeth was so excited seeing you walk to the dinner table, all dressed in a lovely white cocktail dress and dolled up. "Darling, look at you! So tall and beautiful! You definitely grew to be a model like me." You smiled at Elspeth as she hooked her arm around yours to lead you to sit next to her at the dinner table, sitting beside her. You looked back at Venetia, who smiled when mouthed 'No way,' rejecting all compliments Elspeth showered your way. 

Dinner went smoothly, aside from the fact that Farleigh wasn't as…Farleigh to you. He talked but barely did the usual gossip and glittering of stories. You loved that about him. 

Dinner ended on a good note. You had to excuse yourself from Elspeth and Pamela, who quickly fell into gossip when you walked away from them in the dining area. 

You walked outside to the yard, where their pond was. Sat on the little dock and looked at the stars littering the skies. "Lost, Pretty lady?" You looked up to the familiar head of curly hair and a wicked smirk. A cigarette in between his lips as he looked down on you. "Hello to you too, Farleigh. Tired of ignoring me?" He rolled his eyes and sat next to you. 

"Actually… I'd love to have you all to myself before Oliver comes here. You get a little too invested in your pet project." You scoffed and shoved him a little. "You act like I'm not your pet project, too, Farleigh. Don't deny the fact that you've been entertaining me so you can get more sexual partners." 

He laughed and scooted closer to you? Resting that big head of his. "You like it."

"No, I don't." Shaking your head while suppressing your smile. 

"Yes, you do."

"Yes, I do." 

You both chuckle as he takes the ends of your hair, playing with it between his fingers, caressing it so lightly. 

"I like our tension. The fact that you're the only pussy I haven't tried yet." You groaned and pushed him off you as he laughed. "Yeah, well, it takes more to get in between my legs, Start." 

"Oh god, don't tell me I must be Oliver to do that." He said in an incredulous tone. 

"Farleigh!" 

"What? It's true!" You shove him again but fail as he latches his arms around your waist while lying down on your lap. A fucking tease and a prick for reminding you about your gap in strength.

You gently caressed his head as you made yourselves comfortable on the docks, "I'm sorry about what I said…I don't mean it like that, you know?" He looked up at you with those beautiful eyes. "You meant it; you're just usually not an asshole to make me feel it." You drew out a breath and looked down on him. To actually look at Farleigh, one must brace themselves to have their breath taken away. He was mind-blowingly beautiful, and no one can deny him of that privilege. The Cattons were all beautiful. A beautiful chaos. 

Farleigh thought the same about you. It wasn't like you were a hidden gem; you never paid attention to it. He was mesmerized by something much more than him. That the person he had at arm's length is so…Unattainable.

"Farleigh, I was an asshole, and I hate myself for that. Please allow me to apologize and at least make it up to you." When you told him that, he had this mischievous aura, but he kept silent. "I'll hold you up to that." You almost regret being a decent human being. 

You simply hummed as you set your sights on Saltburn. Farleigh returned to playing with your hair, braiding, and doing all types of knots. 

It was a good night. It felt like so many things had changed, and so many things had stayed the same. 

The next day was eventful. Felix pulled you all out of bed at six in the morning to enjoy a time together at the vast Gazebo they had near the pond. Farleigh, Venetia, and you all looked like the undead, slowly dragging your feet to follow Felix. 

"Ladies and Gentleman! It is with my great pleasure."

"Fuck off." Farleigh snidely remarked. Felix gave him a dirty look, making you and Venetia go into fits of giggles. 

"As I was saying. Ladies and Cunty man, I'm happy to show you all…Picnic paradise." 

Two maids opened the Gazebo to show you a beautifully set-up breakfast on a picnic blanket. Venetia slowly walked up to Felix with a smile and hug, sleepily hanging on to him as he led her to the blanket. "I'd love to praise Felix, but the sun is barely out to help me hide my lies." You chuckle as Farleigh slides his arm around yours and follows the two siblings inside. 

Venetia and Felix always had a weird relationship. They clung to each other since you were all kids while you and Farleigh felt like outsiders. Venetia fed Felix some food while Felix was lying down on the blanket, reading that Harry Potter book. "I reckon Mum would be upset that we ate without them." Venetia had this playful smile on her lips, mouth stained with wine. “Auntie Elspeth would understand; our special guest is too special to have a slimy ole English breakfast.” Farleigh answered.

All eyes turned to you mid-bite on a croissant, making you a tad bit conscious. "Seriously, can't there be a hint of privacy for me and my breakfast?" Felix propped himself up with his arms and turned to look at you. "Voyeurism is a thing of this family." He gave a wink, prompting you to throw a good pastry away…On his face. Farleigh and Venetia soon held to their food and chucked it at Felix. 

A food war at six in the morning! Elspeth said it was Utterly preposterous looking back at how much mess you made. The Gazebo was filled to the brim with food all over the wood panelings and the stained glass roof windows. All of you went out looking like a mess, and it got many questions from Elspeth and Duncan. 

"Eugh, I'm going to take a bath." The first few words that broke the silence while you were all standing outside the house lined up like school children. "Want me to join you?" You smacked Felix on the chest hard as you marched past him to go up to your shared bathroom with Fareigh to get everything out of every crevice. 

After the initial buzz from the morning’s event, you all sat with Sir James at the library to watch another movie he had set his sights on. It was funny; it really had the room filling up with laughter and some smart remarks from Farleigh. 

Then came the Oliver topic. Felix first reminded us about Oliver and his situation. How he invited him due to the loss of his father, thankful and grateful that your best friend was kind enough to cheer Ollie up. Elspeth gasped and was verbal about her sympathy, especially towards Pamela…Very verbal and elaborate.

Farleigh sat behind you on a chair, typing away on his laptop with a disapproved look, you checked his screen and they were all littered with Fuck yous and other colorful words. Guess he truly did hate Ollie. “And he lent me his bike, Mum! I was seriously going to get into trouble, but my savior just happened to walk by!” Elspeth gasped and rubbed Felix’s arm in a motherly manner. 

You can’t help how Venetia had a tinge of jealousy or yearning on her face. It can be a topic discussed for later, you suppose.

At the end of the day, you are reminded of a few things, and they all circle around Oliver. Not to be crazy, but…Why do you feel so nervous?

Previous | Next

[justtwotired]

Whispers of the night - Lloyd Garmadon x F!reader

Part 1 - previous - next

Get ready guys, this is a long one :)

Your POV

Two weeks passed and in those weeks I had not seen Lloyd once, the only moments I texted him were in the night when I laid in bed.

I missed him so much and had demanded he sent me a picture of himself so I could see his face, making him comply and sent a picture of himself laying down on his bed.

I found it rather cute but was to embarrassed to voice this to him, so I had just sent a smiley face.

He promised we could go on the second date soon but days slowly passed and I felt a pit growing everyday.

I missed him a lot and couldn’t stand not seeing him or hearing his voice.

A few days ago, he had sent me a chocolate bar that was delivered by Nya, who I had spoken to for about an hour by the front door before she had to go.

This amazing man even remembered my favourite chocolate.

I had demanded Greenie to take me to the park, even though he didn’t really want to because we ran into a lot of fangirls there, but it was my favourite place.

“It’s your job to follow me around, if I say park, we go to the park,” I had said and he had grumbled but complied anyway.

So now we where set in the grass, backs against each other and I leaned my head back on his shoulder.

“I thought I’d see your boyfriend pop up sometime, but you don’t seem to be talking to him,” he said and I sighed.

“We talk,” I said pausing for a moment. “Through texts,” I said and he let out a dry chuckle. “He’s just been busy, alright!” I said and he fell silent.

“Alright, alright, I won’t make a comment,” he said and I smiled. “Thank you,” I grinned. “I do miss him though, it feels like I can barely remember his voice,” I announced and greenie was silent for a moment.

“Can’t you call him?” He asked and I shook my head. “He barely had time to text, let alone call, he needs sleep to, greenie,” I said and he chuckled for a moment.

“Alright, alright, busy boyfriend, I get it,” he said and I elbowed him. “How many times, we went on one date” I said and he chuckled.

“Alright, fine,” he said and I stood up. “Wanna get some coffee?” I asked and he stood up aswel. “Sure,” he said and I helped him to his feet.

I looked into his eyes and realisation washed over me. His eyes, they were the exact same colour green as Lloyd’s, and like- those eyes are very green it’s almost unnatural.

How do I only notice that now? Is that just a weird coincidence? Yeah probably, it couldn’t mean anything else, right?

“You may let go of my hand, Princess,” I quickly pulled my hand back and blushed. “Sorry,” I said quickly and he let out an amused laugh, “it’s alright,” he said before we headed to a coffee shop just outside the park.

When I laid in bed that night, I texted Lloyd again and I was surprised when a voice message came trough, making a smile appear on my face.

“Are you sick of being followed around yet? I know I’d be. Also, don’t mind the voice message, I’m just way to tired to type,” he said and I couldn’t help but chuckle at the goofiness.

I texted him back immediately and was happy to hear his voice again.

A few days later, I was in the living room of the house when I got a text from him.

Blondie<3

Hey, I’m free later tonight, you think your ninja will allow you to hang out?

A smile spread across my face immediately and I started typing away.

You

Have to discuss that with my parents first

But Greenie is free tonight, Malcolm will be there but if we go to a restaurant or something he will wait in the car

Blondie<3

Go ask

I want to see you :(

You

I’ll go ask now

I jumped up and headed towards the reading room where I knew my mother would be.

“Mom,” I entered the room, making her lay down her book. “Yes, sweetie?” She smiled. Threats had laid low and it made the stress slowly leave my mother’s body.

“So, Lloyd is finally free tonight and suggested we go out to eat, is that alright?” I asked and a smile spread across her face. “Alright, but Malcolm will go with you to stay in the car, alright?” She asked and I nodded eagerly.

I walked around the table and gave my mom a kiss on the cheek before giddily leaving the room.

You

Yeeesssss

Blondie<3

I suppose this means you may go?

You

Obviously

I can’t wait!!

Okay, so there is this noodle place and I’ve gone there a few times and it’s amazing, you probably know it, once it was called Chens but it changed to Skylors!

Blondie<3

I definitely know that place, I go there all the time

Skylor is Kai’s girlfriend

You

Awe that’s so cuteee

Makes sense if you think about it, they are a good fit together

Blondie<3

I’m so sorry, but I really have to go, I’ll see you at Skylors at 7?

You

Awee

Yes see you then<3

Blondie<3

<3

I turned my phone off and pursed my lips in happiness of finaly going to see Lloyd again.

“You look happy,” Greenie walked in and I smiled up at him. “Lloyd just texted, he’s free so we can go on a date tonight!” I said and he raised his eyebrows.

“On my free night? Now I can’t see him,” he said and I rolled my eyes lightly. “Don’t you act like that,” I said and he chuckled, making me throw a pillow at him.

That night, Malcolm dropped me off by the door and I walked inside and looked around. He wasn’t here yet.

I stood to the side a bit and noticed Skylor by the counter. She smiled at me and I gave her a kind smile back.

She was great friends with Luna, so we knew each other a bit trough her, and I went here sometimes with my friends to eat, of course.

The door opened again and in walked Lloyd, who smiled when he saw me.

My hands itched as I saw him and my smile grew. He quickly walked over to me and pulled me into a hug and I enveloped my arms around me.

I had been aching for this hug ever since our last date and it felt great to be in his arms.

He took a step back and we headed to a table by the window.

He told me all about what he had been up to while I did the same, telling him about greenie, making him joke about being jealous.

It did remind me about how Greenie did the exact same thing in the same way. I didn’t say it though and just playfully rolled my eyes and made a snarky comment back.

I shook the thought off of me and we continued our date. I actually had so much fun and we joked around and ate the amazing noodles.

When we left, I paid as promise and we talked with Skylor a bit, before heading outside. “I could ask Malcolm to take us to the park, we can take a walk,” I said and he thought for a moment, before smiling.

“I’d actually really like that,” he said. I looked up at him, realising how tall he was… he was way taller than I was and I couldn’t help but blush at this thought.

He gave me a teasing grin and winked, making me stick out my tongue. He chuckled and we walked towards the car where I smiled at my bodyguard.

“Malcolm, can you drive us to the park?” I asked and he smiled lightly at us. “Of course, but I’ll be at the gates and you have to check in with a text every ten minutes.” He said and I gave him a look.

“Every ten minutes?” I asked and he gave me a look. “I can also follow you around?” He suggested and the corners of my mouth fell.

“Texts are fine,” I said before getting in.

When we arrived at the park, all three of us left the car and Malcolm stayed at the gate. “Every ten minutes!” He called after us, making me yell a “yeah, I know!” Back.

“You are pretty close with him, huh?” Lloyd asked and I nodded. “He’s like an uncle to me,” I admitted and he smiled down at me.

I suddenly felt his hand slip into mine and a blush spread across my cheeks as I held his hand and squeezed it slightly.

We walked for a while, of course, texting Malcolm every ten minutes.

“The park really looks beautiful in the night,” I looked around me at the street lantern lit park and stopped walking. “Meh,” Lloyd shrugged and I turned to him. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I looked at him and he turned to me.

“That means that I think that there are way more beautiful things around here,” he said with a small smirk. “Like you,” he added making my cheeks heat up to my ears.

I looked up to meet his gaze and found my face incredibly close to his. My eyes couldn’t help but dart down to his lips for a moment and he then did the same, taking a small step towards me.

He laid a hand on my cheek, brushing it lightly with his thumb.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked and butterflies took over my stomach as I nodded.

I stood on my toes as he leant down. I met his lips and god, they were so soft, even softer than I had imagined and yes, I had actually been imagining what it’d be like kissing Lloyd.

We pulled away and he leaned his forehead against mine, giving me a VIP spot to look into his eyes.

I was surprised to see he actually has small golden spots hidden in his green eyes.

“Lloyd,” I said and he hummed. “I like you, like a lot,” I said and he chuckled, that familiar chuckle that was his but also greenies somehow.

“I like you a lot too,” he said, kissing my forehead. Before we could say anything else, my phone rang and I saw it was Malcom, making me quickly pick up.

“Yes, I’m alive, sorry for not texting,” I said and he let out a sigh of relief. “You little shit, you scared me,” he said, making me giggle lightly.

“Sorry, we’ll head back now,” I said and he agreed.

I took Lloyds hand in mine and we walked back to the park entrance, I didn’t know how he was feeling, but I couldn’t be happier.

When I got home that night, I immediately texted our group chat who bombardent me with questions which I happily answered for them.

Soon enough I went to sleep and when I woke up the next morning, it was because of a knock on my door.

I sat up and yawned. “Come in,” I called and the door opened, revealing greenie who chuckled at my bed head.

That damned chuckle. “Morning beautiful,” he said jokingly making me give him a glare.

“Don’t act like you woke up with perfect hair,” I said and he shrugged. “Well you wouldn’t know, you don’t even know what colour it is,” he said and I turned to him.

“What colour is it?” I asked as I started to pick my outfit for the day in my walk-in closet. He followed me and leaned against the doorframe. “Guess,” he said and I didn’t even think about it.

“Blonde?” I asked and he let out an amused huff. “Good guesser you are,” he said making me smile up at him. “Such a smart person, am I not?” I said and he grinned slightly, or well that’s what his eyes told me.

“Isn’t it easier to just take your mask off? I mean- I won’t tell anyone, I promise,” I said and he shrugged as he watched me pull out a hoodie.

“Standard procedure,” he answered. “Don’t worry, darling, you’ll see my face one day,” he said with a small wink, making me throw a t-shirt at his face.

“Get out, moron,” I said with a grin, making him laugh and walk out of my room. I quickly got dressed and then headed out of my room aswel.

“So, what are we doing today?” He asked as we walked down the stairs with me.

“I’m grabbing some breakfast with James and Luna, and after that I’m going to the store because my leather jacket needs replacing seeing it’s become to small,” I explained.

He hummed along and I chuckled at him. “And we’ll stop at the candy store for you,” I said making him cheer slightly.

I entered the café I had promised to meet James and Luna to see that both of them where already there.

Luna excitedly waved when she saw me and I chuckled and joined them at the table.

“No greenie today?” Luna asked and I shook my head. “He’s outside in the car, I invited him to eat with us but then he’d have to take of his mask,” I explained.

“Damn it, I have a list of questions for him,” James said and we looked at him weirdly. “Alright it’s like two questions, but still,” he said and we both laughed.

After breakfast, we paid and headed outside, deciding on asking the others if they where up for a hang out upcoming weekend.

I waved at them as they both got onto James bike, as he was bringing her to her aunt for her birthday.

I closed the car door and looked at Greenie next to me.

“Already decided on the sweets you’re getting?” I asked with a smirk and he gave me a look. “Are you ever going to stop teasing me about my love for sweets?” He asked and I ‘thought’ for a moment.

“Nope,” I eventually said, making him roll his eyes, though definitely smiling.

When we got back home it was already dusk, we had also decided on a stop at the ice cream shop and many other stores.

“Awe, now we only have an hour left,” I whined and he chuckled. “Not like you’ll miss me,” he said and I looked at him with raised brows.

“What’s that’s supposed to mean?” I asked and he stopped in his tracks. “I mean, you’re boyfriends coming over, I don’t think you have much time to miss me,” he teased and I hit his shoulder.

“Don’t you imply such things,” I scolded and he laughed, putting one of the bags he was holding down.

“Don’t you want to atleast make out with him?” He asked in a pouty voice and I chuckled, making my way towards the staircase to head towards my room, him following me.

“I don’t know maybe I do?” I said and he seemed surprised for a moment. “Really?” He asked amused and I blushed slightly.

“Stop, you are bullying me for wanting to make out with the boy I like?” I went to whack his arm and he quickly dodged it with a laugh.

We headed into my room, I dropped my bags and took out the new dress I had bought.

“Alright, greenie, I’m going to put on this dress, and you are going to tell me if I should wear it for the evening or no, okay?” I said and he let out a small chuckle.

“Yeah, sure,” he complied. I giddily headed towards my walk in closet en changed into the new outfit.

I looked in the mirror and turned around for a moment. I loved the dress… but me wearing it? I wasn’t sure…

I hesitantly walked out into my room and greenie looked up. He was silent for a moment, making me shift in my place.

“It looks good,” he said and I looked up at him a bit surprised. “Are you sure?” I asked, walking towards my mirror, him following me.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” He asked and I shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s just- I’m not sure if this really… fits me, you know what I mean?” I asked and he sighed.

“Y/n,” he said and I turned to him. “Yeah?” I asked and he seemed to be smiling. “You look beautiful,” he reassured me and I sighed.

“Alright, alright, fine,” I gave in and then looked at him with a smirk. “Thank you,”

Eventually he left and when I closed the door behind him, I took a deep breath.

I really, really liked Lloyd, but every time greenie made me laugh, or started teasing me again, all that kind of stuff, I couldn’t help but feel attracted to him…

Of course, Lloyd still held the number one place, I knew him way better, and he was just so… Lloyd, he was everything I dreamed of as a kid, only the white horse was missing.

An hour later, after dinner, the doorbell rang, making me bold downstairs before either my brother or my parents could open the door.

“Hey,” I said a bit out of breath when I saw Lloyd, who smiled at me. “Hi there,” he said and I opened the door further, inviting him in.

He stepped inside and hung his jacket on the coat rack.

We walked out of the hall and my mother just came walking down the stairs. She smiled when she saw us and came over.

She extended her hand for Lloyd to take, which he did. “Hi there, Lorain L/n, nice to finally meet you,” she introduced and he politely smiled.

“Lloyd Garmadon, it’s great to meet you to,” he said and my mom gave me a suggestive smile, making me narrow my eyes at her.

My father came from the living room with a bright smile. “You must be Lloyd,” he said and shook Lloyd’s hand firmly. “It’s nice to meet you,” he said.

Lloyd nodded. “That would be me, it’s nice to meet you to, mister L/n,” he said and my father laughed. “Oh, it’s just William, boy,” he said.

I smiled at Lloyd interacting with my parents, happy that they already seemed to like him.

“Well, mom, dad, we are going upstairs now, if that’s alright with you,” I said, before an awkward silence could ensue.

“Yes, of course, call if you need anything,” my mother said, mainly to Lloyd.

I chuckled and took his hand, pulling him up the stairs. We entered my room and he looked around for a moment.

“Jezus, your room is huge,” he said and I sighed. “Why does everyone always say that?” I asked and he gave me a look.

“Hmm, let me think- maybe because it’s true?” He said and I huffed out a laugh. “Alright, alright, fine,” I admitted.

We both sat down and I happily told him about my day, complaining about greenie who kept bullying me and excitingly telling him about the new book I had gotten.

“What’s the green ninja like?” He asked and i frowned for a moment. “Have you never met him?” I asked and he shook his head.

“Yeah uh, my dad and him didn’t really keep in touch after all that, you know?” He said and I huffed a laugh but it did make sense.

“Right, makes sense, sorry,” I chuckled. “But besides the constant teasing and bullying, he’s actually really nice, and he’s a bit like you , you know?” I said and Lloyds eyes widened slightly.

“He is? Why is that?” He asked and I shrugged. “Well, he has one heck of a sweet tooth, to start off, he also had green eyes and blonde hair, hes really sweet, and also, he’s a huge flirt,” I summed up and Lloyd frowned.

“He flirts with you?” He asked and I nodded. “Yeah, I constantly tell him to stop, not to begin with the nicknames, but it’s all just jokes,” I reassure him.

He smiled at me and I could’ve melted on the spot. This man was to pure for this world.

It was silent for a moment and I took the time to shoot a glance at the mirror to see if the outfit still looked good.

I flattened it a bit, also combing my fingers trough my hair.

“N/n,” I looked at Lloyd who gave me a look. “I already told you, you look beautiful.” He reassured me and I let out an airy chuckle.

“Sorry,” I said and he got up, taking my hand in his. “Don’t apologise, darling,” he said and I felt my knees grow weak, I was thankful I was sitting on my bed because otherwise I might’ve fallen over.

Lloyds hand left mine and he rested it on my cheek instead. I looked into his eyes, too far away to see the golden specks.

I stood up, leaning against him ever so slightly, finally spotting the small golden specks hidden in his green eyes.

They shot down for a moment to look at my lips, before looking back at me again. I did the same, taking a quick glance at lips, his damn, way to kissable, smiling, lips.

I looked back at him again, he winked at me and I chuckled. His eyes shot down again, lingering a bit longer this time.

I moved one of my hands to the side of his neck, so slowly bring him closer. He leaned in and I stood on my toes.

Our lips met and I closed my eyes, enjoying the kiss I’d been longing for for a while now.

My remaining hand searched for his and I held it tightly, making him smile into the kiss, causing me to aswel.

We parted and he leaned his forehead against mine, I caught my breath and giggled a bit as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

He kissed me again, it felt way more passionate than before, making me more relaxed, I hadn’t even realised I had been tense.

We parted again for breath, but it didn’t take long for our lips to connect again.

We slowly turned until Lloyd could sit on my bed. I stood between his legs, leaning down slightly as now I was taller as him.

Slowly we pulled apart a bit and I looked into his eyes again.

“Now I know how you feel,” I whispered, making him let out a throaty chuckle. “Doesn’t your neck ever ache?” I asked and he shook his head.

“It’s worth it,” he said before kissing me again, I was caught slightly of guard but leaned in immediately after.

I felt his tongue lick my lips, silently asking permissions to enter my mouth, which I granted without hesitation.

I allowed him to explore my mouth and moved my legs to sit on his lap, now straddling him, making the butterflies in my stomach go crazy.

God I was down bad for this boy…

[adventuringblind]

Drive With You Forever

Chapter Fourteen: The Rise and the Fall

Max Verstappen x Charles Leclerc x Lando Norris x Reader x Oscar Piastri

Chapter summary: Charles has a theory, Lando and Oscar get a better car, they group takes a trip to America to learn more about our reader

Warnings: Ferrari strategists, blood, mentions of death, gore, mentions of past abuse and neglect, medical abuse and malpractice, no graphic descriptions but r*ape is alluded too, panic attacks, mentions of sickness, cults, witchcraft is mentioned along with burnings

Notes: This one was hard. It gets really dark so please read the warnings.

Also, thank you for all the support for my writing! I'm terrible at responding to comments, but I want you to know that I see them and I appreciate every single one of you!

Previous <-

Masterlist

It’s always weird when things go back to normal. It feels temporary. Like she’ll never be able to rest easy because something else is going to happen.

Even when they’re here, relaxing after a race.

Things had been so crazy lately that none of them wanted to join in on the after party. Instead, they all lay comfortably with each other.

"So I have a theory." States Charles. His body splayed out at the foot of the bed. Next to him is Oscar. Max is laying the correct direction woth his legs over the top of the other two. Then Lando and Y/N are leaning against the bed, curled into each other on the floor.

"That's dangerous." Snickers Max. He receives a scowl from the Monegasque.

"What's your theory, Charlie?" Pipes the girl on the floor. It's never mattered the idea or thought. She always wants to hear it.

"At least one person wants to hear it." He grumbles. "Anyway, y/n has four entirely different abilities, and now she has four partners. Do you think it was meant to be?"

"It is an odd coincidence." States Oscar. He looks up from his phone and considers the statement.

"We could see if there's more to it than you know." Lando says into her hair.

It's not something she would've considered a year ago. But now, with everything she's survived, maybe it would be worth a look around. Show her boys where she used to live.

It's not pretty by any means, but it is a part of her.

~

Before they could take a trip to her home, they had to get through Silverstone. Lando is excited the car upgrades are doing their job and Oscar is absolutely petrified.

It doesn’t show on the camera or when he’s in the car, but when they catch him before the race after qualifying third, he looks terrified.

Charles and Max were upset they couldn’t get to him, ,raving it to the other two to make sure he’s properly encouraged before the race starts.

She standing in front of him holding his face with her hands. It could almost be intimidating if she wasn’t complimenting every fiber of his existence. She does it to all of them on bad days and it never fails to make them smile.

“Os, you are an amazing driver. There isn’t anything that can change that. Now you just have a car to prove that you’ve always been good.”

She kisses his forehead before he’s called to get into his car. Lando makes sure to also give him a pep talk before his engineers have to drag him away.

She bolts back to the Redbull garage. She has her own job to do. Even though she spends majority of her time watching the race in the screen, she dies still analyze data.

It proves difficult, however, when three of her lovers are in the top three places. She had to bite her tongue to hold in her excitement.

Then the unlucky safety car. She knew Oscar would be disappointed, but he's still in fourth.

Max crosses first, followed by Lando. The two are absolutely ecstatic. She can see the mild disappointment when Oscar isn't in the third spot.

Charles is definitely upset with how his race went. He'll need cheering up as well. Finishing ninth and having his strategy messed over again was not something he'd wanted this weekend.

She runs off to find Charles and Oscar first. They're waiting just outside the weigh station and she can see the both with sollum looks.

"I don't care what anyone says. You two were amazing despite the difficulties."

Charles just hugs her. He's tired and words are hard. Her embrace is relaxing and all he needs right now.

When the two are consoled for the moment, she knows she has to let them go. Their media duties are still part of the job even if they hate them.

She gets to leave with Charles first. Oscar and Lando are still finishing up media duties, and Max is doing his best to avoid them but failing.

Charles crashes as soon as he's in the room. Face planting on the bed and screaming into the pillows.

She sits next to him and plays with his hair. "I wish I could just be happy for Max and Lando- even Oscar!"

"It's okay to be upset, Sharl. Feelings have a way of escaping like that." She whispers to him gently. She ponders for a moment. "Maybe a cheat meal is in order."

Charles lifts his gaze from the bed to her and smiles. "I think you're a genius."

~

The other three come back much later than expected. The three of them are far too exhausted to do anything else but sleep.

Max opens the door for the three of them and is met with the lovely smell of food. He didn't realize how hungry he was until now.

The two who'd left earlier are sprawled out with a blanket on the floor. They'd found that tables in hotels never have enough chairs. The floor has become their table in these scenarios.

"Welcome back! We got dinner!"

The stresses of the day, the highs and the lows, fade into the back of everyone's minds. Their company enough for each other.

~

They'd left for America the next morning. She'd begged Sébastien to come with them, and he'd accepted. Though he was meeting them there.

None of them had seen her home before. The boys made sure she knew she could back out at any time. But it's almost as if she needs this. To finally close the lid on the box.

Sure, there may he a group of people after her now, but her father can't touch her. She has the freedom to go searching for her own answers.

Seb landed before them, so he was waiting for them when they landed. She jogged to hreet him and threw herself into his arms.

Seb had barely talked to Oscar in the past, and now they've had some video calls as a group, but nothing major. So, he settles for a hand shake and a warm greeting. "These four treating you well?"

"Always room for improvement." Oscar laughs as the other four feign hurt and shock.

"I think we're going to get along fantastic."

The ride from the airport to the property is ridiculous. A handful of back roads and small towns make for fun stops, but it's still long.

She'd had to message Guenther about the address. She'd never needed to learn it, so she never had. She only knew property lines.

Finally, they're turning down a familiar overgrown dirt driveway. Everyone can see her body tense up.

"Are you okay? Should we stop here?" Asks the Brit. He's trying not to let his worry for her show, but his voice fails him.

"No, I'm fine. It's still about a mile from this point."

The land is overgrown and eery. It's not long til they can see the warehouse in the distance. It was larger than they'd imagined. Lando had pictured something like a shed and Oscar just ran with that idea. Charles thought maybe a prison or one of those abandoned hospitals. Max didn’t care, he just knew whatever it was couldn’t be good.

The building itself looked menacing. The sides are covered with vines and there were random bits of debris scattered around the property. It looks both unsafe and unsanitary.

Seb stops the car a few arid away from the entrance. Everyone getting out of the SUV, except for her. Charles comes around the side and opens her door. “Mon amour, we don’t have to go any further.”

“I want too, just need a minute.” She sighs. Charles can see the glaringly obvious unease in her eyes. He laces her fingers with his and lets her take her time getting out of the vehicle. He refuses to let go even after she’s out.

They walk hand in hand to the metal door that everyone assumes is the entrance. Max has set himself in front of everyone, nothing unusual, but he kept Lando and Oscar behind him instead of letting them walk with him. The gloomy feeling of the building not helping protective nature.

Max attempts to get the door open. His attempt being foiled by things in the way. She watches on as the five males struggle to get it open.

“What the hell is behind this thing?” Asks a heaving Lando.

“Shelves I reckon.” Guesses the Aussie.

then the door busts open and then tumble down to the floor in a heap. “It was locked actually.” Smirks the female. “took me a minutes to get it open.”

Charles groans and shoves himself out from underneath the pile. “We loosened it for you.”

~

The building is just as eery inside as out. The group stick close to eachother as they explore about.

The female leads them to where the braker box is. All of them practically keel over when she gets on the lights.

The sight they are met with is terrifying. Almost as if they walked into some sort of horror movie.

There are bodies tagged and lined up, which explains the rotting smell. Machinery litters the ground. Bigger machines that none of them know the purpose of are in their own sections of the warehouse.

"It's not what you were expecting..." She fidgets with her fingers.

"I don't think it's about what we were expecting. I think that all of us hate that you had to live like this." Oscar explains carefully. Charles had yet to let go of her, and Oscar now sits himself on her other side.

Lando peeks his head around another set of shelves. "It almost looks like he was part of a cult." He scrunchs his nose in disgust.

"I wouldn't be shocked if he was." She points to a set of stairs. "My room and his office are up that way."

The group trek up the stairs and are met with a set of office style rooms. She leads the all the way down the hall to the furthest door on the right. She pushes open the door and inside is her room, exactly how she’d left it. The screen is even still missing from when she took it out. “This is my room.”

Her partners and adopted father file into the room. It’s not a large room and there is not much to look at. A mattress on the floor and some old books is as exciting as it gets.

They are all rendered speechless and she doesn’t know what to do. So she takes them to the next room. The door across the hall is filled with machinery. What they used to help with the F1 cars. The bigger machines are scattered about, but this room help some of the smaller testing components. “I spent a lot of time in here.” She smiles at them to hopefully lighten the mood.

She steps out again and points at the door beside it. “That one is where he used to hold the corpses. Since the Haas team was here often enough he didn’t want them to be seen.” Then she sighs again and starts back down the hall. “The rest is really for storage. My father spent majority of his time in the lower levels.”

“We can stop now if you need. Or take a break and get some air.” Suggests Seb. His fatherly instincts tell him this may be to much for her right now.

She shakes her head no. “I’ve just always hated the basement. It’s where he keeps all the important things.”

Max eyes her skeptically. “Important things?”

“Like food and my mothers corpse. The only way I could get food is to try and bring her back.” She shrugs. She can hear Max suppressing an angry growl.

They make their way to the stairs on the opposite end of the building. The lighting down below considerably darker then the upper floors.

The basement room looks as if it’s been carved out. Like it wasn’t here originally. At the center lies a beautifully adorned casket. She gestures to it. “This is my mom. I’ll spare you the disgust and not open that.”

The other side of the room houses a desk with books and a laptop. She’d forgotten he had that. She’d gotten caught on numerous occasions trying to use it. She eyes the laptop and then slips it into her bag. Something Seb had made her bring just incase she did find anything she wanted to take with her.

The laptop is newer then she remembers. Something like what she used for work.

The vials that he’d been injecting her with to supposedly rewrite her DNA are still sitting on a metal table, along with other medical tools.

She steps over to it. The bed he used to operate wasn’t a a traditional one. It was another casket sent on top of a table. He’d used it to remind her of why he was doing it, what her mother had felt, where she lays now permanently.

She can feel the walls closing in as she opens it. The woods inside still stained red. Memories of the times he’d cut her open just to sew her back up.

The vague sensation of teeth and hands on her skin fills her senses as the ground falls out from under her.

~

Max is the first to hear her breathing quicken. He’s standing almost next to her, observing, taking in every piece of information. Charles had gone with Seb and Oscar to explore a different offshoot. Seb had noticed weird writing on the wall and wanted to investigate.

They were right down the hall so Max wasn’t to worried about them. His attention now completely on the female.

She shrieks. Her body goes rigid. Then she’s falling the the ground.

Max catches her and Lando slides down next to them. Both look between her and each other. A dull pulsing light emitting from her skin but her hands and trailing all the way to her chest.

The other three come back into the room and frantically look around. “What happened.”

“She was looking at something, froze, then fell over.”

Lando can’t even get words off his tongue. Max can see him struggling and knows he needs to get everyone out of the building. “Seb can you help get Lan out of here?” Seb nods and drags the Brit back up the stairs. He would’ve sent Oscar with him since his demeanor seemed to calm the other, but ever since the bunker incident, Oscar was more panicked when away from her.

Charles and Max haul her up the stairs and out of the building while Oscar guides and moves things out of the way. He also took her bag so they didn’t have to deal with it swinging back and forth.

Finally they are able to drape her body across the middle seat of the SUV. The glow now diminishing but the girl’s condition seemingly getting worse. The blood, sweat, and tears they are used to seeing are being intensified.

Seb manages to get Lando to breathe then the five are able to discuss.

“I think her father may have been a cult leader.” Confesses Seb. The Germans eyes are sad and distraught but he’s doing his best to remain calm.

Oscar is sitting with the females head in his lap. He’s almost defensively holding her body, something they all noticed he started doing after they were rescued. “We found a book about her mom. Looks like the same handwriting in all the notes.”

“The scariest part is that she endured the same things.” Charles runs his palms over his bare skin, a nervous tick that Max tried to keep him from doing because he rubbed his skin raw. “She could do similar things to her, it seems. Whatever happened after is hard to piece together. She wasn’t meant to get pregnant, I don’t think, at least not when she did.”

“She served as some sort of alter. They did things that ar unspeakable.”

Max stands behind Charles and holds his hands to hopefully ease the need to turn his skin red. “Do you think the cult is who’s after her now? If they need her to complete whatever rituals they’re doing, it would make sense they’d want her back.”

“I think that she is more to them then any of us could’ve guessed.”

~

The ride back to the airport was long and contemplative. They decided not to go back to Monaco for now and instead head with Seb to Germany. The female still had yet to wake up and Lando is becoming increasingly more aware war of every time she inhales.

He sits in the back seat with Charles, leaning into the monegasque’s shoulder. “Do you think she’ll be ok?” He asks.

“Pretty sure nothing can get her at this point. Plus, she’s already looking better.” Charles reassures him. Yet the sinking feeling in his gut is still there.

They have too carry her into the plane. Lando watches on as Max bundles her in his arms and carries her inside. Lando jumps on the opportunity to sit with her. He eases her body into his, grateful that she’s not burning up anymore.

They sleep most the ride home, aside from Charles who is picking through the found journals. Lando is finally able to rest his mind to the feeling of her steady heartbeat against his hand.

~

Hanna is in full mother mode as soon as her husband, daughter, and her daughters four partners step through the door.

She has them set the unconscious female in the room they keep for them should they visit. She's quick to clean her up and change her clothes into comething comfortable. She doesn't let any of the boys near her, much to their protest.

It's quiet around the house. Nobody knows what to say. Where are they supposed to go from here?

Seb pulls the laptop out of the girls bag and finds a suitable charger. He knows he'll have to pick through it eventually. He just hopes she'll be awake before then.

"What if she doesn't wake up?" Lando is the first to voice his concern. "I know she always does... but this feels different."

"Don't say such things, Lando." Charles has kept himself curled up in an empty corner of the living area. He's dealt with so much loss already that he doesn't think he could take another. He's been spiraling since she's been out of sight, and it's visible in everything he does. "My question is why they wouldn't put her father away to begin with if he's leading a cult?"

"They may not have known. It seems they've been around for some time, and since Haas was paying him for work, I don't doubt there was money involved." Seb leans futher back into his chair. Even he is panicking. Though he's trying to remain calm for the youngers sake.

Max can't take it anymore and gets up from his place on the sofa and plant himself next to Charles. He wraps the Monegasque in his arms protectively. His body doesn't relax all the way, but the tears he'd been holding back now find Max's shirt.

Oscar is pacing. He's been pacing. He hasn't stopped moving since the female left his sight, and he's on the verge of toppling over mentally.

He's been mumbling this to himself. Definitely not things they've heard him say before. They all look as him with worried expressions.

"Jack?" He freezes at the nickname. Then he finds a place next to Lando who'd called for him.

The look in his eyes is one they've grown used to. He's thinking through a problem. Looking for every tiny detail. "They were talking about things in front of me while I was drugged." He declares.

Now it's everyone else's turn to freeze. They hadn't pushed Oscar to talk about things. He'd been doing that with his therapist. They'd almost that forced on him after he couldn't get past the separation anxiety. Thankfully, he had complied and was doing better mentally when he wasn't with one of them.

Now, to hear him openly state such a thing is both promising and terrifying.

They continue to just listen and let him work at his own pace. Lando plays with his fingers to remind him he's here with them and safe.

"There were complications with the birth. They knew her mother was getting older, so they would need a replacement, but she ended up in labor early so they couldn't finish."

"The journal also gives detailed instructions about what the process was that created them." Charles adds into the conversation. Pieces are starting to click together now. "It's dated back from forever ago as well. Something about starting from a line of witches, supposedly."

"But why do they need her specifically?" Max leans in closer to Charles. The unease and addiment need to keep his lovers safe is doing nothing for his own anxiety.

Seb leans forward now. He's pondering what he found as well, trying to link every bit of information. "Because she's the last of the bloodline." Seb only gets stares in return.

"Explain, please." Despite all of them being confused, Lando is the only one brave enought to voice it.

"Well, since I've picked her up when she was fifteen, it's always been men that she's talked about. There were never any females in the picture, I believe. So she might be the last of her bloodline."

"The journals sort of prove that as well. The history of it is muddled and doesn't make sense, but there is a story written about a lone female survivor during a burning. Some of the men who had already fancied her decided to use her in whatever ways they deemed neccecary, but she only ever bore one child." Charles recalls the story but cringes while doing so. He was sparing them the most gruesome details. "I think they took is as a sign and continued the tradition."

"Then why would he make it so she can't have a child?" Again, Lando asks the questions that confuse all of them.

"Anger makes you do unfathomable things." Seb sighs.

~

It doesn’t take long for the computer to charge. Everyone sits at the dining room table as seb opens it up for the first time. All of them are shocked it’s not locked. The man obviously didn’t think it was going anywhere.

Seb looks through some files and they can see him getting paler by the second. “There are videos and pictures on here and a few emails back and forth with a couple people but that’s all.” Then he pales out completely. “Hanna, can you make sure the kids stay upstairs?” Seb turns the computer toward her for a mere second and she looks sick.

“Don’t go too far, please.” She pleads, then hurries off upstairs. It’s an agreement that he’ll stop if he can’t take it. A plea that he won't invade too much of their adoptive daughters' privacy.

“If you guys want to see this that we’ll make so all of us only do this once. Otherwise we can figure it out.”

“What have you seen so far?” Questions Max. His nerves are increasing with every second and his leg is bouncing rapidly underneath the table.

Again, Seb looks like he might vomit. “I’ve already see photos of what they did. It’s not good and she’s completely exposed in most of it.”

All of them collectively swallow.

~

All of them felt sick watching the screen, listening to the screams. They moved past a majority it to the parts where a man (presumably her father) was monologuing.

He wasn’t meant to fall for her. Only meant to do what was necessary and give them a continuing line. When she died prematurely, he went into a completely psychotic state of mind.

Everything they did that involved the mother seemed bad enough. It only escalated for the female that’s currently unconscious.

then he revealed his plan.

Make her strong enough to bring back his beloved. Make sure she can’t have any children so they don’t have a choice if they want to attempt to continue in their faith of these miraculous beings.

And he caught every second of it.

Every ritual.

Every procedure.

Every time they took something from her.

They all felt sick. The rage mixed with violent sickness shaking all the males to their core.

They just want their toy back.

And they wouldn’t rest until they had her back.

~

Next ->

@styles-sunflower @purplephantomwolf @boiohboii @reblog-princess-blog @jjsprobablywrong @jayda12 @faithm120601 @eugene-emt-roe @lpab @yaaadii @80sloverry @spongebeck3101 @eviethetheatrefreak @chanshintien @vellicora @hollie911 @pretty-little-bunny382728

[lonesome-witching]

Love Sick

Thank you @weekend-bastard for the prompt. I tried my very very best to make it into what you asked for. The prompt was Nancy taking care of Robin after getting her sick while they live together. I hope this is what you wanted and otherwise you can always send me another message asking for something else.

Anyone can send me any ronance prompt here.

Robin sneezed. 

The sound echoed through the silent apartment. Nancy nearly dropped the glass she was trying to push back into its rightful spot. It was right above her head and she had to stand on her tiptoes to reach it. 

But Robin sneezed once and Nancy dropped back to her feet and rushed into the living room. It had been exactly two days since Nancy herself had been sick. Two days in which Robin had assured her time and time again that she wouldn’t get sick, that taking care of Nancy for a few hours hadn’t had any negative effect on how she felt. 

“You sneezed.” Nancy said, standing at the edge of the couch. 

Robin looked up from the textbook she was trying to read. “Usually people say something along the lines of ‘bless you’, but yeah, I sneezed.” 

“Are you getting sick? Do you have a fever? I told you that you should have kept your distance but no, you kept insisting to bring me soup and crawled into bed with me and now you are sick.” 

“I’m not sick, I just sneezed. It happens.” 

Still, Nancy pushed the back of her hand against Robin’s forehead. She was hot but not feverish and she didn’t look sick. “Okay, you’re probably right.” Nancy turned her back towards the girl. She hadn’t even taken two steps back to the kitchen before Robin sneezed again. “I think I’ll head to the pharmacy to get more cold medicine. Just to be sure.” Nancy rushed out of the apartment before her roommate could protest. 

She rushed through all of the motions, regretting leaving the apartment the second she closed the door. What if Robin needed her? It was a relief when she was able to push her keys into the lock and quickly push it open. Robin was nowhere in sight but Nancy could hear the sneezing, now accompanied by its best friend, coughing. 

“Robin?” Nancy called into the apartment, pushing the door closed with her foot. “Are you still alive?” 

The only response she got was a loud groan, followed by a coughing fit. When Nancy entered the living room she finally saw Robin, laying on the sofa, one arm dangling over the edge and her face half smooshed by the pillow. And that had no right being this cute. God, it would end up getting stuck in Nancy’s head for weeks. 

“Oh yeah, you are totally not sick. I can see that now.” She said, trying her best to distract her mind with words and comments and sarcasm. Anything but the fact that Robin’s shirt was riding up and she could see the girl’s lower back. 

“Don’t gloat. I’m dying. This velvety green couch will be my dead bed. Any last words for me, Nance?” Robin slightly lifted her head to get a better look at her friend. 

“I’m sure it’s not that bad. I got some medicine and before you know it you’ll feel good as new.” Nancy carefully pushed Robin’s legs to the side so she could sit next to her, pulling the bag in her lap and beginning to unpack. 

“You do not feel my suffering, Nancy Wheeler. I assure you this will be the end of me.” 

“I will not allow it to be.” Nancy pushed a bottle of Triaminic into Robin’s hands. “Here.” 

Robin drank a big gulp from the bottle with a grimace on her face. “Nancy, Nance, Nancy, I think I might be a little sick.” 

“We’ve gone from dead bed to a little sick, I told you you’d feel better.” She pulled the bottle out of Robin’s hands when the girl tried to press it against her lips again. “Also, I’m convinced you’ve already taken the maximum dosage for today and I don’t want you to get a seizure.” 

“Nancy Wheeler? Do you know the side effects of Triaminic by heart?” Robin’s fingers gripped at Nancy’s hair, softly, twirling a stray strand around her pointer finger.

“I like to be prepared.” 

“What are the other ones?” 

“You want me to discuss the overly dramatic side effects that could possibly happen in the worst case scenario?” 

“If you know them.” Robin positioned herself better, laying on her side and cuddling a pillow against her chest. 

“Well, uhm. Most aren’t too bad. Nervousness, dizziness, the usual. You could get difficulty urinating or heart palpitations. Is this doing anything for you?” She had trouble forming a coherent thought when Robin looked like that, all cute and cozy and maybe she was sick but it didn’t change how beautiful she was. 

“Your voice always does things to me, Nance.” 

Nancy could feel the blush creeping onto her cheeks. “You should try to sleep a bit, maybe you’ll feel better when you wake up.” Robin nodded her head in reply but three hours later, she still lay awake, eyes staring at the black TV screen. 

“Nancy?” She called over. 

“Yes?” Nancy rushed into the room. 

“I can’t sleep. I’ve tried to sleep but I can’t sleep.” The girl whined with a pout on her face. Nancy opened and closed her mouth, trying to find something to say. “Can we watch a movie?” Robin asked instead. 

“Sure.” Nancy thought back to the movie night last week. Robin had picked the movie and yet the girl had fallen asleep fifteen minutes in. “Which one do you want to watch?” Nancy crouched down in front of their little movie collection. They only had about 7 tapes. Most of the time they went to the video store at the end of the street and rented whatever they wanted to see. Any new releases would be watched in the second to last row of the movie theater two blocks down. They didn’t really need a lot of tapes. 

“What do you have to offer?” Robin softly slurred and Nancy worried the amount of Triaminic was actually taking a toll on Robin. Maybe she was having a seizure after all. It was unlikely but not impossible. 

“We’ve got Clue, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Little Shop of Horrors, Suspiria, The Apartment, Dirty Dancing and Fast Times at Ridgemont High?” Her voice turned into a question when she read the last movie title. 

“Present from Steve.” Robin replied. “Let’s watch Dirty Dancing.” 

“I thought you didn’t like Dirty Dancing.” Nancy asked with a soft smile. Robin had handed over the tape, wrapped messily, a few months ago. She had smiled shyly and scratched the back of her head as Nancy asked what was in the package. Just open it. Nancy had opened it, tearing the paper carefully only to reveal the image of Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze holding each other. I know you liked this movie when we went to watch it and well, you needed a pick me up. They had watched it that night, which was the exact moment Robin chose to admit she didn’t particularly like the movie that much. 

“You do.” Robin replied. “Want to watch what you like.” 

“Okay.” Nancy put on the movie and sat next to Robin, pulling the girl’s legs on her lap. The opening credits filled the screen, the tones of Be My Baby by The Ronettes reaching their ears. 

“Do you think Patrick Swayze,” Robin swayed her arms while she said the last name. “is hot?”

“He’s fine, I guess. Not exactly my type.” Nancy replied quickly, barely paying attention to the movie anyway. She tried to not let Robin’s behavior distract her but even Nancy Wheeler didn’t have that much restraint. By the time Baby and Johnny were kissing, Nancy had turned her body toward the sick girl laying next to her. 

She wondered how they had gotten here. Just a few years ago they hadn’t known each other. Now, they lay on the couch together in their shared apartment. And maybe it wasn’t everything Nancy wanted but it was already so much more than she could ask for. So, really, she shouldn’t complain. She shouldn’t complain when Robin went out with a girl from class and stayed out slightly too long causing her to worry. She shouldn’t complain when she came home to an empty apartment. She shouldn’t complain that she wasn’t allowed to kiss her roommate. 

“I never understood why they called her Baby. Isn’t her name Frances or something?” Robin had dropped her head to the back of the couch, eyes intently staring at the screen. Her nose was red and her eyes were watery. 

“I think that’s what they call a nickname.” Nancy smiled at the sight in front of her. Despite feeling all too guilty that she had gotten Robin sick, it was quite an experience to take care of the other girl. Maybe she should do it more often. Even when Robin wasn’t sick.  

“I know but it just sounds ridiculous. I mean come one.” 

Nancy hummed in response. She didn’t have a strong stance on the matter which was a first. 

“You’re kind of like Baby. Open minded, kind, fighting for a good cause.” Robin finally turned toward the other girl, locking their eyes. Nancy hummed again. “You’re prettier though.” Robin smiled brightly as she said it. 

“Am I?” Nancy willed the blush to stay away. 

“Way prettier. No one is prettier than Nancy Wheeler.” Robin was sliding further and further down the couch.

“I think you are high on meds.” 

“Doesn’t matter. You’re still the prettiest.” 

“What about Dana? Weren’t you seeing her?” 

“Not anymore. And she’s not prettier than you. The only reason I even went out with her is because you don’t want to.” 

The movie was still playing but Robin had closed her eyes. If she had kept them open she would have been able to see Nancy’s wide eyes and the bright pink coloring not only her cheeks but her entire face. 

“What did you say?” She asked. 

“Said you’re pretty.” Robin replied, cuddling the same pillow from earlier against her chest tightly. 

“No, the other thing. About Dana and going out.” 

But there was no reply anymore. Robin’s breathing evened out. She was snoring for the first time since Nancy had moved in with her. She remembered how Steve would snore after they had sex, how Jonathan snored every night. It had always annoyed her, the incessant noise that kept her up to the ungodly hours of the morning. But Robin’s soft sickly snore almost sounded cute and Nancy had to fight the urge to scoop up the much taller girl and crawl into bed with her. Maybe that is why Robin had done exactly that two days earlier. 

Despite the faith Nancy had had in the medicine, it took Robin a week to get over her cold. A week of similar drowsy conversation and nothing more. The one time Nancy had started leaning in while they were watching Clue (for the second time that night, because Robin had complained about falling asleep the first time) Robin had crawled to the edge of the couch repeating that she was too sick. So Nancy had pulled back and she had waited. And waited. And waited some more after that. Waited until the eighth morning after The Sneeze. 

Robin shuffled into the kitchen, still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Morning.” She mumbled. 

“Good morning, how are you feeling today?” Nancy pushed a cup of coffee in her roommate’s hands. She noted how Robin was less pale and her nose wasn’t as red anymore. 

“Better, thanks.” She took a sip of her coffee. “I only remember like half of what I said the past week. Hope I didn’t embarrass myself much.” 

“Not really.”  Nancy smiled at the recollection of Robin crawling over the floor in search of her contacts. Robin didn’t even wear contacts. 

“Oh, God. What is it?” Robin whined around her coffee mug. 

“Nothing.” Nancy defended herself.

“I can see it on your face, Wheeler. Something happened.” 

“You said I was pretty.” 

“Okay, that’s okay. Could have been worse.” Robin nodded her head. 

“In fact I think your words were ‘no one is prettier than Nancy Wheeler’ or something like that.” She noticed the blush beginning to show on Robin’s freckled cheeks. Robin mumbled something that Nancy didn’t quite catch. “What was that?” 

“I just said that you are really pretty.” Robin emphasized the ‘are’ to make sure Nancy knew she meant it. 

“You also said something else.” Nancy took a sip of her own coffee. It was cold now. 

“And that was?” 

“You said the only reason you went out with Dana was because I wouldn’t go out with you.” 

“Oh.” Robin stared over Nancy’s shoulder into the distance. 

“Is that true?” 

“I don’t know, do you want to go out with me?” Robin tried to joke, her lips curled into a crooked and uncomfortable smile.

“Yes.” Nancy replied instantly. 

“Exac- Wait, what?” 

“I would love to go out with you.” She repeated easily. Maybe the words came too easy. Maybe she ought to be scared after Steve and Jonathan. Easy wasn’t usually good. But Nancy didn’t have the energy to fear this. Whatever this was. 

“I meant romantically. Like a date.” 

“I know what you meant, Robin. And yes, I would love to go out with you, romantically, like a date.” 

“Oh.” 

“And I would also really love to kiss you right now.” Nancy leaned closer to Robin. “Can I?” 

Robin nodded, staring at Nancy with wide eyes. It only took a second for their lips to meet each other. Nancy couldn’t contain the soft whimper that escaped her lips at the feeling. It just rolled off her tongue as she tasted the sugar and coffee on Robin’s mouth. She knew the other girl was less experienced but Robin made up for that with passion and determination. It was enough to cloud Nancy’s mind entirely and have her dream of more. More. More. More. 

But despite her inner pleading, she pulled away to smile at her roommate. “So about that date?”

[fumikosushi]

Mentions of parental death under cut.

I haven't really talked to that many people about all the things that have gone on surrounding my mom's death. I talked to maybe two people, but not a whole lot. I have a hard time talking to people directly about the things I'm going through (trauma has led me to having difficulty confiding those things in others, but I'm trying to do better). For now, the easiest way for me to do that is just by making a post where I throw things into the void.

Even before my mom passed away, my family was being absolutely horrible. My sister, my mom's sister, her brother, and the man she was staying with were just fucking awful. I would also like to point out that none of these people had anything to do with her until she was dying. My sister visited not once while we lived here for 10+ years until she heard my mom was dying. My brother visited some and with his it's different because his schedule doesn't allow it, but my sister flat out refused to speak to my mom unless she could con my mom into giving her drug money (for crack and heroin). My sister drained my mom's bank account this way, mind you. Took advantage of my mom's desire to help her to try and be a good mom and my sister lied to her for drug money.

When they were here the few days before she passed people treated both her and myself terribly. With me, it was nothing new. My family has already been pretty fucking awful. My only real problem with my brother is his refusal to acknowledge anything that happened being fucked up, but I still might end up opting into going no contact with him too like I have my father and sister.

The entire time I was there, even though I was literally silent and minding my own business, I was just.. bullied the whole fucking time. My sister and my mom's sister would whisper to each other while looking at me and laugh or they would try and say things to provoke or gaslight me into a reaction (I never gave them the reaction they wanted). My mom's brother spent the whole time drunk and fighting with people. Again, I constantly have comments made about me despite the fact I literally never spoke unless spoken to. Even then, I didn't say much.

There was a point where my mom wasn't really responsive. You know, she wasn't really.. there. Like she was alive, but she was literally skin and bones with next to no meat or fat left on her body. She couldn't speak. You could hear her struggling for air. What does my sister do? She calls my dad who horribly abused her for years and lets him just say what he wants in her ear while she's unable to respond and literally fucking dying. Like.. who makes someone listen to someone who help ruined their life as they're dying? That's just.. sick. I genuinely feel as though my mother died feeling completely unloved. I won't lie. I honestly can't believe that she didn't and it fucking sucks because it haunts me. Like, how is she supposed to feel loved when she's suffering so much and everyone around her is just continuing to abuse her? These people couldn't even respect her after she died either.

We still haven't had a service for her. Her brother is in charge and that always means whatever he's in charge of? It's never happening. He's always too busy getting plastered and telling everyone how shit and terrible they are like he's even the slightest bit delightful to deal with himself. Not to mention.. my mom's abuser has her ashes (the guy she was staying with) and he refuses to let me have any of her ashes. I feel like if anyone deserves to have them, it's me - I'm the only one who has ever been here for her. But no, of course, I'm being fucked over and not included in anything. If they have a service, I'm sure I'm not even going to be invited. I am so tired of being hated by these people just for existing as a disabled person (this is literally why they hate me - they're all ableist af and don't believe disabilities exist).

So I go to my boyfriend's to try and deal with all of this and my mom's abuser is whining at me to hurry up and send photos of my mom I took from her house like he has ever given me what he owes me. My mom's ashes. I told the guy I'd do it when I got back to keep the peace, but God, I already know it doesn't matter how civil I am despite hating these people. I will still be excluded. So I've decided to give them diddly fucking squat. I lost a fuck ton of things to do with my mom because I couldn't afford a truck for her things. No one could find it in their heart to just help me move anything (my place is literally 10 minutes away from hers) and we would have paid them back too! But no. No help. So I lost 90% of my mother's belongings because they're all in the fucking dump now because the landlady threw everything away before I could get a truck.

And like.. the day my mom died my siblings were just like "aye we're leaving" not hours later and I'm just like ??? That's so.. crazy. Our mom just died and you're just.. gonna go back to South Carolina?? Like yall aren't gonna make sure I'm okay or nothing? Just "oh yeah, here's the tv mom left" and then you fuck off? These people baffle me.

I'm home now and tbh I'm still not okay at all and God, I don't want anyone to tell me shit like 'it gets better' or whatever because I'm so tired of hearing it. As I said, I just needed to throw my feelings into the void. I'm not wanting some pity party or whatever. This isn't even everything going on right now, but this is the stuff to do with my mom.

[alwaysteveswife]

All to well with robin like something happened and like let’s say reader was the jake in this.

A/n: Seriously, seriously, sorry for the delay, I was really sick this week and couldn't make any progress, I just got over the cold and got it done as soon as I could. I hope you like it 🥺.

When you and Robin started your relationship you knew it wouldn't be easy. Homosexual relationships were frowned upon, indeed, it was almost a crime to have feelings for someone of the same sex. They made you feel like a freak, like a mistake, they told you over and over again that you were disgusting, that it was just a phase, that it wouldn't be permanent, but they didn't know anything, they couldn't understand.

They couldn't see the sparkle in Robin's eyes, they couldn't see the smiles, the notes, the silent "I love you's" that were sent in whispers that no one could hear. They would never understand what real love was. Or at least that's how Robin felt.

She knew how difficult it was to be openly gay, especially in a town as small as Hawkins, which is why she never suspected anything. She ignored all of Steve's comments, all of his warnings with concern behind every one of them. And why would you go out with her if you didn't really love her? It was stupid, kind of pointless.

Robin remembered like it was yesterday that fall of '86. The leaves were falling from the trees and resting on the streets of Hawkins. They were both in Steve's car, occupying the back seats like armchairs at karaoke, asking Steve to turn the music up loud. She could remember their voices together chanting a cheesy Madonna song, their fingers brushing over the leather of the seats, the tension in the air, the knowing looks contrasting with Steve's, who was looking at them through the rearview mirror with a smile full of relief and pride that her best friend was finally reciprocated. Robin was sure that this would be the best fall of her life, because you were in it, because you were everything she wanted, and she was so sure you felt the same way.

It all started to fall the day Robin came to your house for the first time. You were living with your older sister, who had moved to Hawkins a few years ago, you had come over the summer of last year to be in a quieter environment.

She could remember the smell of hot chocolate, the cold air inside the cottage, she also remembered leaving her colorful scarf on the stair handle, the one she could never get back because she was too absent-minded to remember where she had left it. She remembered the laughter, the secret glances and the touches under the table; the way your sister told jokes just as bad as yours, she even remembered the sound of your landline ringing, of your light footsteps walking to it and picking it up, the way your eyes lit up and a smile that she had never seen before appeared on your face.

"You should ask her" Steve said when Robin told him about that call, "You'll gain nothing by keeping this to yourself, I'm sure it's a misunderstanding, I can tell she loves you."

And, with all her regrets, Robin went to confront you, to ask you who this other person was that you had never told her about. Maybe, if you hadn't lied to her saying that he was just a friend, if you hadn't blatantly told her that it didn't mean anything, then maybe now things would be much different, much more... right. But no, you decided to lie to her, you decided to ignore her concern and calm her down with lies, lies that you both knew were meaningless, but that, anyway, Robin would believe them, because she wanted to believe in you, in a future together, where other people's opinions didn't matter.

The second time was at her house. You had stayed for a "girls' night out," an innocent thing all teenage girls did. She remembered wearing her most decent pajamas, her blushing at the sight of yours, the taste of your lips, of her skin against yours, how right it felt to be there, with you, loving each other until dawn without anyone knowing. For her it had been an incredible night, but for you, it had only been one last time, an experiment, something that would define how you truly felt about her.

You didn't think about it too much, of course you didn't, even before you could, you were already avoiding her by any means, ignoring her and Steve's calls, going out with your friends to distract yourself, going out with a guy so you could get rid of that little nagging feeling that told you over and over again that this wasn't right.

Robin didn't know what she had done wrong, even when Steve told her over and over again that she had done nothing wrong, that you were to blame, but she just couldn't believe it. You were perfect in Robin's eyes, you were her ideal type, someone she thought of as the person she would spend the rest of her life with, and God, how wrong she was.

You weren't there when she found out the truth, but you could get a picture of how she reacted. It was Nancy who, with no ill intent, came with the news that you had started dating a guy who had moved to Hawkins a while back, the same guy you talked to that time on the phone, who was supposed to mean nothing to you. That day, Robin stayed at Steve's house until the wee hours of the morning, crying, screaming and punching a pillow, asking Steve why you had done it to her, even though he didn't have the answer to anything.

He was upset, too upset, he even went to face you, to try to get a clear answer because, how could you play with Robin's heart in such a horrible way? It almost hit you in the face when all you said was "I wanted to experiment, to know what it felt like to be with a girl, but apparently it wasn't my thing. Nothing against Robin, she's a great girl, but she helped me understand that she's not what I want in my life."

He never told Robin your answer, he wouldn't be able to break her heart even more. All he did was be there for her, be her shoulder to cry on, comfort her, make her laugh, put her back together until she was back to the same Robin she knew, until she believed in love again, until she could open up again with another girl who did love her and treat her like she deserved.

The last time Robin saw you was in the middle of the city, on one of those days when she accompanied his girlfriend to buy some records. You were laughing, holding hands with a guy who looked nice, a guy who looked curiously very much like her. She felt her world move completely when your gazes met, when you shyly waved your hand at her and went on your way, barely staying to watch her until she lowered her own hand.

As she watched you leave, Robin couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if she hadn't been so naive back then. Maybe she wouldn't have been here, seeing you holding hands with that boy, wearing that scarf she had left at your house, laughing the same way you had laughed with her, looking at him the same way you looked at her, lying to him the same way you lied to her, because Robin knew too well that you weren't happy, that that smile was fake, that "love" was fake, and she wouldn't do anything about it, not this time, because, despite the pain she felt, despite the immense desire she had to run to you and kiss you like she did in the past, she knew that you weren't enough for her, that she deserved someone much better, someone who would love her, who would show her off, someone who really cared, and that, definitely, wouldn't be you, not again.

Masterlist

[mikaela-granger]

The Long Wait (Season 2) Chapter 2

Bad Teeth Part 2

Fandom: Grimm

Pairing: Sean Renard/OFC

The Long Wait Masterlist

A/N: I decided to add some other points of view. This one chapter contains Nick’s and his interactions with his mother. Since Lorelei is at home nursing a broken heart, I thought this would be a bit more interesting.  

***Nick’s POV***

After handing over their case to the feds, Nick returned home. He entered the house, surprised to find it had been cleaned up. He had just gone straight to bed last night, instead of trying to clean up the mess Kimura had made. Had his mom done this? First trying to make breakfast for him and now this. Did she think it would make up for the past eighteen years?

“Mom.” He called out, unsure if she was still in the house.

“I did a little cleaning up.” Nick jumped and turned around. He didn’t even hear her creep up behind him. “Sorry, habit.”

“Right.” Nick said, not sure what else he could say.

“Hope it’s ok.”

He nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”

She offered a small smile, before glancing around. “Lorelei doesn’t live with you?”

Nick gave a small laugh. “No. She has a place of her own. She’s in college, you know. Grad school, actually. She flew the nest last fall.” He told her. “She’s eighteen…well almost nineteen, tomorrow…”

“Tomorrows her nineteenth birthday.” Mom cut in. “I remember. I was there the day she was born.”

Nick nodded slowly. He and Juliette had been planning to take Lorelei out for dinner; that wouldn’t be happening now. There was a moment of awkward silence. “Hey, look. I’ve been thinking about everything, and I think I need to take you somewhere.”

As they pulled up to the trailer, his Mom was clearly surprised. “I never thought I’d see this again.” She commented as they got out of his truck.

Nick was surprised, and a little suspicious. “You know about this.”

“Marie and I bought this trailer when our Dad got sick.” She told him, walking closer to the trailer. “We needed a place to hide everything that had been passed onto us.” She looked at Nick. “We had seventeen trunks hidden in the basement of our house.”

“Who else in our family had this…problem?”

“That I know of, your grandfather, your great-grandmother, and Aunt Marie.”

“And Uncle George had it too?”

“No. Not everyone does. In fact, nobody knows when its gonna hit them or even if they’ve got it.” Mom explained. “Women become aware sooner than men, but the only thing we know for sure is that it’s inherited.”

“So, that’s why Lorelei got it before me, because women get it sooner than men?”

Mom nodded.  Nick stepped forward to unlock the trailer and they stepped inside. His Mom made a comment about people wanting to get their hands on the stuff in the trailer. “What did you think when you first found out about, you know, all of this?”

“I was only ten years old. Your grandfather didn’t even try to protect me, so as soon as the nightmares started, he wanted me to know exactly what I was going to be up against. I was so scared I didn’t sleep for months.” She paused; it seemed as if she was reflecting. “When I turned eighteen, he took Marie and me on hunts. The first couple were horrifying, but, uh, we quickly realised we were doing what had to be done.” She smiled slightly, glancing down at one of the journals. “We spent hours pouring over these books. You know. I never wanted this for you or your sister.” The smile had left her face as she looked up at Nick.

“It’s not as if you had much of a choice.”

By now she had walked over to one of the cabinets, opening it up. Her expression changed again. “A lot of history here.” She pulled out one weapon. “Your great-great-grandmother Hilda, with this blade, castrated a rotznasig carcajou.”

“Good times.” Nick said sarcastically. He started to turn around, but she caught his arm.

“You know this is all very important to us.” She told him seriously, staring at him as if trying to get him to understand.

Nick looked back at her, before glancing back at the cabinet. He contemplated for a moment whether he could trust his own mother. He was still suspicious of her, especially when she asked about the coins. Deciding to take a leap of faith, he moved over to the cabinet. After making his decision, he pulled out the coins and showed them to her. Her eyes widened and a smile crossed her face.

“Now what?” he asked, closing the box the coins were in.

She thought about it for a moment. “Return them to the Island of Zakynthos where they were forged. It’s the only way to destroy them.”

Nick considered this for a moment. “So, I guess you’ll be leaving.” He said, feeling somewhat disappointed. She nodded slightly, not looking happy. “You know I guess I understand more now than…” He let out a breath. “Look, you know, I have seen a lot of things. I mean, I cannot judge.” Mom closed her eyes; he could see the pain in her face. “The decisions that you had to make; you know I just wish that I didn’t have to grow up without you.” He heard his voice catch. “Lorelei doesn’t even remember you and Dad.”

He could see the tears in his mother eyes. “I wish the same. Leaving you and your sister was the hardest thing I ever had to do.” Her own voice was thick with tears and pain.

For the first time in over eighteen years, Nick Burkhardt got to hug his mother. He held her tight and allowed himself to cry. To cry for the little boy who lost both of his parents, for his baby sister who never knew them. Eventually, they pulled apart.

“Maybe you can help me?”

She nodded. “What is it?”

Nick reached into his pocket. “And investigation I’m working on. I want you to look at this.” He showed her an image on his phone.

“Where is this?”

“A container on a cargo ship that left Le Havre two weeks ago.”

“Do you know what the scythe means?”

“Yeah, reapers.”

Mom looked at him in surprise. “And you’ve dealt with one?”

“Yeah, actually I’ve dealt with three.”

“Was one of them French?”

“We didn’t do too much talking.” He said with a slight smirk.

“Then you were the one who returned the heads to Mannheim.”

Nick was surprised. “You know about that?”

She looked him up and down. “News travels fast.” She said, and he could see pride in her expression. “You the one who took down that member of the Verrat a couple of months ago?”

Nick rubbed the back of his neck. “That was actually Lorelei. Apparently not the first hunjager she has taken out. Broke his arm, nose and jaw before she shot him. Not the first one she has taken out, apparently.”

He saw a smirk cross his mother’s face before she returned her gaze to his phone, as he showed her another photo. “Now, I don’t think that is reapers.”

“No, no something else drew those.” She said, walking over the find a journal. “And, if it’s what I think it is, it’s worse than reapers.” She pulled a book from one of the shelves and opened it. “I hope I’m wrong about this.”

Nick joined her as she flicked through the pages of the book, before she landed on a page. “Were there any puncture wounds?

Nick thought about it for a moment. “There were a lot of wounds.”

Mom pointed to the page. “We need to go.”

Nick was surprised. “Well, what about the coins?”

“Just put them away.” She told him, straightening up. “I need to see the bodies.”

“This is the security guard. The killer stole his trunk. I wanna warn you, it’s a little rough.” Nick warned his mom. They had arrived at the morgue, thankfully despite the feds taking over he was still able to access the bodies. Mom pulled back the sheet covering the body. “Or not.” He finished, noticing she did not look phased. “You know what this is?” he asked, as her hand went to a wound on his neck.

“Something with teeth this big, there are not a lot of choices.”

“Is it the…”

“Mauvais dentes.” She answered for him. “From what our ancestors wrote, it’s a vicious killing machine, one of them can wipe out an entire village. But you better be careful, mauvais dentes is like a cat, he’ll watch, he’ll wait, if he thinks you guys are coming after him, he’ll do something to draw you in.”

Nick nodded, taking in what she had said. This was not good, just one of these could wipe out a village. His phone rang then. “This is Monroe.” He told her, before stepping to the side.

“Hey Nick, its me and Rosalee we’re in the shop. Weird thing just happened.” Nick heard a beep and assumed the speaker function was turned on.

Rosalee’s voice came over the phone. “I just got an order from a hexenbiest, and the few things on her list were the same we’re using for Juliette.”

“So, we looked it up in a couple of Rosalee’s books and we think we figured out what she’s doing.” Monroe added.

“It’s a wake-up potion for someone in Juliette’s condition.” Rosalee continued. “This could just be a coincidence…” “

“Totally.” Monroe piped in. “We totally thought we should call you anyway.”

“Well, who was it?” Nick asked.

“I didn’t get a good look at her, but Rosalee got her number, didn’t you?”

Nick heard Rosalee say yes, so he asked for the number as he would be able to get the woman’s address from the number. Nick made note of it. “Hey, is Lorelei there?” He asked.

“Uh, she was here earlier but she went home. Um…”

“What?” He asked, feeling concerned. He thought for sure Lorelei would still be with Monroe and Rosalee, helping out. He knew that she loved the spice shop and learning about potions and all that stuff.

Rosalee let out a sigh. “She’ll probably tell you eventually, but apparently her and Katie broke up. It seems Katie met her soulmate.” Nick started to speak but Rosalee interrupted him. “Now, she said that she’s ok, she just wanted some alone time.”

Nick felt his heart go out to his sister. Katie was her first girlfriend, and he knew how important she was to Lorelei. “Oh, damn. Ah, ok. I’ll give her another call later. Check in on her.”

He couldn’t help but feel a little hurt that Monroe and Rosalee knew before he did. Nick had always tried to make it known to Lorelei that she could come to him for anything. However, considering what was going on with Juliette, he guessed Lorelei didn’t want to burden him anymore.

The call ended and he glanced at his Mom who was looking concerned. “Is Lorelei ok?”

“Ah yeah. She and her girlfriend broke up, apparently. It’s her first break up, she asked for some alone time.”

His Mom looked surprised. “Oh. First break ups are always the hardest.” She said, although she seemed a little distant.

“I’m just going to quickly see if I can find out who this number belongs to. Another hexenbiest came to the spice shop wanting ingredients for a potion similar to what is needed to help Juliette. Could just be a coincidence.”

Nick found out that the number happened to belong to Catherine Schade, the mother of Adalind Schade. After threatening her, he left the house and returned to his truck where they discussed his interaction with her as well as theorised why Adalind had come after him and Aunt Marie in the first place.

“Before she died, did Aunt Marie give you anything?”

“Yeah, a key. I have no idea what its for, it doesn’t open anything in the trailer.” He told her. “The sides of it make a…”

“Map.” Mom finished for him. He looked at her. “Where is it?”

They headed back to the trailer. “Now, I only discovered these by accident, when I spilled some ink.” He told her, showing the paper containing the partial map.

“Ok.” She said, moving over to a cabinet with many different drawers. Nick watched as she began pulling out random drawers before standing back, waiting.

“What are you doing?”

“Ah damn.” She said loudly, slamming her fist on the top of the cabinet. And suddenly, a large drawer on the other side slide open.

Nick stared at it. “Ok, that was cool.”

Mom leaned in and pulled something out, a scrolled-up piece of paper. She moved back over to the table and sat down, as Nick dragged another chair over to join her.

“What is that?”

She slowly unrolled it. “A page from one of the first diaries ever kept by one of us.” She told him. “You see, legend has it that there are seven keys.”

“Seven?”

“Forged by the Knights who fought for the Seven Royal Families in the Fourth Crusade. Now, when you put the maps together, they make one big map leading to the location where the Knights hid the precious wealth they took from Constantinople, after they sacked and burnt it.” She looked at Nick. “Those Knights are our ancestors.”

“What, so they worked for the Seven Royal Families.”

“Some of them did; they needed us.”

“So, the wesen fought for the royals?”

Mom nodded. “Yes, and the royals needed the Grimms to control them, as they do now. But there was one thing in the treasure that the Knights hid, there was one thing that was more powerful than anything anyone had ever seen.” She paused. “If the royal families got a hold of it, they could control the world.”

Nick nodded slowly, trying to understand. “Ok, so nothing really big. I guess they hid this thing pretty well.”

“Sure, yeah, they made a map, they cut it into seven pieces, and they gave each Knight a key.”

“Well, what was so powerful?”

Mom shrugged. “I wish I knew.” She told him, glancing down at scroll that had been hidden away. “This has been the only page that’s left of the diary. The rest was destroyed in the Wesen Wars of 1285.”

“OK, now I have a headache.”

Mon turned to him, looking serious. “Nick, they know you have the key.”

“Who?”

“The royal families. They’re the only ones powerful enough to send a mauvais dentes. My guess is, they want the key, and they want you dead.

Nick was shocked and let out a nervous laugh. “How would they know I have a key? I haven’t shown it to anyone.”

“There must be someone important who knows.” Nick looked away, who could it have been. Definitely not Lorelei. “We have to get to Kimura because he might give us the connection.  We need to talk to him.”

Nick looked at her. “You cannot go to the precinct.”

“No.” She agreed. “But you can.”

Unfortunately, by the time Nick got to Kimura, he was dead. Nick returned to his truck, where his mother was dead.

“Kimura’s dead.”

“In police custody?”

“Somebody got to him.” Nick said, rubbing his forehead. That headache just kept getting worse and worse. His phone rang and he answered it. It was one of the feds, the mauvais dentes had her, and had already killed her partner.

He let his mother know, before starting the truck and heading to location the agent had given him. Nick headed inside the warehouse, while his mother waited outside to provide backup.  As he entered, gun drawn he saw a large amount of blood on the ground and an indication that whoever was hurt had been dragged away. The further he went, the less blood he saw, until finally he saw something on the ground. Nick moved toward it, seeing two bodies. The feds. Just as he found them, his phone rang again. It was Monroe and Rosalee. The potion was ready, but it needed to be taken within the next forty-five minutes, or they would have to start over. Nick silently cursed, still keeping an eye out. He needed to finish this, but Juliette needed him as well. He advised them he would be there as soon as he could and hung up, sensing something was in there with him. He moved away from the bodies, keeping a lookout for the mauvais dentes. Then, he heard a growl and as he turned around, something came toward him.

A/N: Yeah, a cliffhanger. But that is how the episode ended. Sorry for the lack of Lorelei/Sean. Should I add in other characters perspective’s moving forward. Who’s would you like to see?

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[marriiemeii]

Circles Chapter 2

jeonghan x oc x seungcheol

status: ongoing genre: drama fluff, angst, professor au, romance, comedy warnings: death of a loved one

synopsis: Faye has always been more focused on her career than her social life. When she meets two new customers at her cafe, her once solitary life begins to change.

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Faye went home after bidding goodbye to Seungcheol and Jeonghan but before that, the two had been insisting on walking her home or calling her a taxi to make sure she arrives home safe, which she exasperatedly mentioned to them that she had walked home alone plenty of times before she knew them.

Seungcheol responded to her comment by saying that was in the past. Now that they do know her, they were worried about their new friend and wanted to make sure she wouldn’t be in danger. She gave in to their request by allowing them to call her a taxi, because two strangers, in her eyes, walking her home just didn’t sound too good. Even if they were really handsome, Faye had at least some self-restraint.

When she arrived home, the moment she was through the front door and closed it she let out a massive sigh of relief. Ever since she sat with them she’s been feeling a bit uneasy. However, now that she’s in the comfort of her safe space, she feels like her social battery is being recharged already.

Faye walked through the hall in front of her front door that led to the center of the living room with the kitchen and guest bathroom to the left and her bedroom and laundry room to the left. Faye turned to the right and headed straight to the kitchen. She grabbed a food prep container from the fridge and took off the cover before putting it in the microwave. While waiting for her food to finish warming up, she grabbed her laptop on the counter and video-called her best friend, Rian.

Rian’s face showed on the screen with her daughter, Aleah, on her lap as she sat at the dining table of her house. When she noticed she was connected, she waved at the screen excitedly before telling her daughter to look at the screen. Aleah looks up at the computer screen before wiggling around in excitement.

“Auntie Faye! Auntie Faye!” Aleah starts trying to get up and get closer to the screen. I laugh as Rian struggles to hold on to her daughter so she doesn’t fall down.

“Hi Leah~ how are you? Your mom said you were sick?” I asked the excited 4 year-old. She starts pouting as she starts telling that she was ok but she got her mom sick after. I listened to her enjoying her exaggerated storytelling.  As she finished telling me all about her getting sick, her mom suggested that she should go to her dad and ask if he needs helps with cooking. Aleah agrees before waddling off in pursuit of her dad. Rian watches her as she goes to make sure she’s ok before turning back to the screen.

“Soo, how are you?” Rian inquires, leaning on the dining table excited just like her daughter to hear from me. I chuckle and shake my head as I see where Aleah gets a lot of her personality from.

“Even though I know you gave birth to Aleah, it’s crazy how much personality she takes after you,” I noted. When the microwave beeps, I get up to grab my food and I hear Rian calling after me to get back here and to explain myself. She’s always so excited whenever we have our little update sessions. I tell her to calm down and that I’m just grabbing my food.

“Work is pretty normal y’know?” I try to dismiss the topic. Immediately after I hear noises of disagreement coming from her so I look at the computer screen and see she’s frowning at the camera, showing her discontent and skepticism with my answer.

“You talked with my mom didn’t you,” I stated. She starts nodding her head rapidly and a wide grin appears on her face. I sigh to myself before sitting at the counter again and prepare myself for all her questions.

“She said there were two handsome male customers~” She beams at me. I could hear a faint voice calling after Rian asking who’s handsome. I smile a bit knowing that it was just her husband teasing her. Rian splutters and starts explaining it was my mom’s words not her.

“Anyways, so did they come back to the cafe? Are you finally going to date?” Her questions come at me rapidly one after another about me and my love life. I bring my hands in front of me as I start shaking my head at her.

“No, no, no, no. I barely know them and it’s kind of weird that they talked to me in the first place,” I asserted. She lets out an exasperated sigh and her head drops on to her arms. 

“But Faaaye~ you could at least make friends with them,” She pouts.

“If it makes you feel better I told them I would talk with them tomorrow after work.”

She perks up in her seat. “You should have said so in the first place!”

“You ShOulD HavE SaID sO in ThE FiRSt plAcE,” I mocked her. Her mouth drops open in shock.

“HEY! Don’t mock me!” She protested. I laugh at her expression.

“I’m kidding~” I joke with her as she crosses her arm with a pout on her face. She grumbled a little bit but the microphone wasn’t able to pick up what she was saying. She stops frowning before looking a bit more serious.

“Y’know, I’m proud of you right?” She trailed off. My eyebrows furrow a little, kind of confused with where she was going with this.

“You opened the cafe that the both of you wanted for so long already. You’ve accomplished a lot on your own… Not only am I proud, but she would be too, y’know?” She started. “You can slow down now and start thinking about yourself and your life. AND I don’t mean your career because you have that down already.”

I look down at my food and start pushing it around rather than eating it, thinking about what she was saying. It was true that I didn’t really think about my life except my career. Drowning myself into work so I wouldn’t have to think about the past or more specifically, Flora. Doing the things we planned together so that it seemed like it was ok that I was here and she wasn’t.

“I know that you feel like you have to do the things that you guys wanted to do together but you should also live for yourself, and I haven’t seen you do that since before the accident,” Rian hesitated. “So, you telling me that you’ll talk to them tomorrow, it really does make me happy.”

I stop playing with my food and look up at the screen to see her facial expression. She was leaning her head on one arm with a soft smile on her face. It was times like these that I realized how much she has changed from when I first met her in high school. She was no longer the wild party girl that sat next to me in my class and instead this loving and caring mother to all. I softly sigh and smile a bit at her.

“Aww~ there’s my pretty best friend,” She teases. I scrunch my face at her and stick my tongue out at her. She giggles a bit at my reaction. “But seriously, I think you should make friends with them at the VERY least, if you don’t wanna date them. Broaden your friendships and social circles.”

I nod my head at her before agreeing that I would try when I talk and hangout with them tomorrow. Rian then teases me by saying, “If all else fails, I could try setting you up with Mingyu again. We all know how much Rhea loves you~”

We burst out into laughter thinking about Mingyu’s daughter, Rhea, and how she would call me Mama when she first started talking. I was always helping out with taking care of Aleah and Rhea when they were growing up and their parents were always busy. She must’ve learned the word from Aleah. When Mingyu found out about her calling me Mama, he bursted out in apologies and told me that he’ll get her to stop.

“I’m so sorry, Faye! I don’t know how long she’s been calling you that but I promise I’ll get her to stop.” Mingyu apologized with his head lowered like a puppy. He really is a giant puppy with those puppy eyes he’s directing at me.

I shake my head as I chuckle at him, patting his shoulder. “It’s fine, I’m in her life a lot so it’s no wonder why she thinks I might be her mom. When she’s old enough to understand, we’ll explain that even if she views me as a mom, we’re not together.”

He nods kind of sadly. I feel a bit bad because I know Rian had wanted to try setting us up together, but I just wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. I felt like it wouldn’t be fair to Mingyu to try dating him when I wouldn’t be able to put the time and effort into the relationship, because I was focused on starting my cafe.

“I hope this doesn’t make things awkward for us?” He hesitates. I smiled at him, happy that he was hoping the same as me. He was a really great friend that I hoped I wouldn’t lose.

“Of course not! And of course, I’ll still help with taking care of Rhea, she’s such a sweetheart.”

“How are they doing by the way?” I asked her, knowing that Mingyu and her husband talked everyday. 

“They’re doing great, Rhea got student of the month actually. I met her kindergarten teacher because that’s where Aleah will be attending next year. And she’s so nice and surprisingly really young. All the students love her,” Rian rambles on about all the things she heard about Mingyu and Rhea. “Actually Mingyu wanted to have a get together soon, when me and Aleah aren’t contagious anymore. He wanted me to tell you to come and he made me do it because he knows I’ll be forcing you to come and socialize with us.”

Of course they all knew me so well that I’d find a reason to wiggle out of the event. Since it seemed that I wouldn’t be getting out of it I agreed to going. It’d be nice to see how much Rhea has grown and see how Mingyu’s been doing. I asked Rian to send me all the details for the event.

“Rian, dinners ready,” I heard a voice call out from the kitchen. I see a tall figure approaching from behind Rian and she looks back and waves him over.

“Wonwoo! Say hi to Faye!” She calls out to him. The figure gets closer and I see Wonwoo with a black apron on with two plates in his hand. He bends down and I see his face appear on the screen.

“Hey Faye, hope you’re doing well. You better come to the get together,” He says, with his slightly monotone and low voice. Rian starts laughing at the way he greeted me.

“I already told Rian I would,” I huffed at the two. They both start smiling at my reaction to their teasing.

“Good, I’m excited to hear about if you’ll finally start dating. Bring them with you so I can pick which one you’ll date,” He states. My mouth drops in shock that he wasn’t even asking and rather stated that I’m bringing them AND he gets to choose who I date. 

“HEY, why do you get to choose who she dates? She’s MY best friend,” Rian complains at Wonwoo, hitting his back slightly. Wonwoo puts down one plate in front of her and then uses his free arm to push her head out of the frame and sits on her.

“So, bring your boyfriends and me AND Mingyu will choose who’s the better choice,” Wonwoo talks over Rian as she starts complaining and tries pushing the taller and heavier man off of her. “AND if none of them are good enough for you, you’re going on a date with Mingyu again.”

“I AGREE but I should be the one to say it, not you!” I hear Rian shout from behind him. Wonwoo continues to ignore her, just sitting on her, until the both of them hear a tiny voice.

“Daddy, why you sit on Mommy?” Aleah’s voice carries through the mic. Wonwoo reaches down and grabs her, setting her on his lap.

“See Leah, now we’re all on Mommy’s lap. Isn’t it so fun?” Wonwoo asks her. Aleah giggles and nods her head, exclaiming that she’s having fun.

“Alright, fun times over. It’s time to eat dinner now,” Rian states. It was fun watching the family of three interact. I watched as Aleah complained and whined that she wasn’t hungry and wanted to keep playing. Wonwoo finally got off of Rian with Aleah in his arms as he went off to set her on her booster seat.

“It was nice catching up with you,” Rian started. “Next time we catch up hopefully it’ll be in person and none of us are sick this time.”

I agreed with her and we said our goodbyes. Once the call ended, it was silent in the apartment, except for the faint noise of the A/C running. I got up from the counter to go put my dishes away in the sink and wash them. I thought back to our conversation on the computer. Would Flora be proud of all that I’ve done since she’s been gone? I haven’t done much except focusing on getting the cafe of our dreams to become true. Would she have been upset that I didn’t put much effort into gaining friends or a relationship?

As I finished washing and cleaning up, I headed over to my room and into my closet to grab a box on the top shelf. The box was full of high school and college memories. Pictures and small trinkets filled the box to the brim. I dug into the box to find a specific picture from college. When I finally found it I held it up to the light.

It was a picture of me, Flora, Wonwoo, Rian when she was pregnant, Mingyu and Rhea when she was still a baby less than a year old. You could see that Rian had a tiny baby bump since she was still in her second trimester. Rian was in the center with me on her left side and Flora on her right side. Rhea was in my arms and the guys were behind us. We all had big smiles on our faces. It was one of the happiest times in our lives.

We were all so excited when Rian was pregnant even though it was an accident. Wonwoo and Rian were so worried about being parents while still in college but with the help of Mingyu, Flora, and I, we managed to calm their worries and help them get through with it. Especially since Mingyu was already a single parent in college. He managed to help them the most.

The longer I stared at the photo the more I thought of how Flora would be if she were here now. Would she already be a parent? Would she still have been in a relationship with Joshua? I was slowly spiraling into all the “what ifs.” I shook my head and tried not to think of all the possibilities because it would do nothing except make me feel guilty for being here instead of her. I huff to myself and think that my therapist would be proud that I was able to stop my overthinking. I start putting everything in the box except for the photo and dig around for a spare photo frame to put the photo in it.

I get up out of the closet and set the photo on my nightstand, hoping that this will be the start of my actual healing. I hope I’m ready to open myself up to new people again and maybe Flora will be watching over me proudly.

****

The next day at work seemed to drag on as I started to feel anxious about hanging out with basically strangers. I tried keeping my focus on my work whether it was making sure that inventory was correct, deliveries were being scheduled on time, or even helping out the baristas and bakers, but somehow the two handsome men wouldn’t leave my mind. So many possible scenarios came to mind but I would never really know what to prepare for. So the moment it was time for me to leave work, I was a shaking mess.

Even one of the employees, Mira, had noticed and asked if I was alright. To which, I responded that I was alright, just a little off today. She wished me the best of luck as I was heading out. I stepped out of the back and headed to the front of the cafe. I noticed that Seungcheol and Jeonghan weren’t inside the cafe, so I headed to the outside tables.

I looked around for the two but only saw one of them, Seungcheol. He was sitting at one of the outside tables and was looking down at his phone. I walked over to him and as he heard my footsteps, he looked up.

He was wearing a black leather bomber jacket with a black shirt underneath and black pants. It actually made me wonder if he would be alright in the sun because he was wearing an awful lot of black. He stood up and went over to the seat I was heading to before grabbing it and pulling it back for me to sit on it. I sat down and he scooted my chair in towards the table, before going back to his seat.

“So, Jeonghan isn’t going to be coming today. He said he forgot that he has something to do,” Seungcheol explains, once he settled down. I nod my head at him. “Did you still want to just hangout? We could reschedule if you want to?”

I thought about it, maybe we could reschedule but then all that worrying and anxiety would be for nothing and that would suck. So instead of agreeing to reschedule, I shook my head, which seemed to surprise him slightly. “I’m fine with just hanging out with you.”

After I said that, his eyes lowered a bit and he ended up scratching the back of his neck a little embarrassed. I wondered why he seemed a little bashful after saying that until I realized that what I said could be taken in a different way. I honestly would like to bash my head in with a brick after realizing.

“If you’re ok with it just being us then I am too,” He smiles at me slightly, showing a little bit of his dimples. I had the urge to just poke them but I brushed away my intrusive thoughts. “Do you have anything in mind or anything you wanna do?”

I hummed to myself as I thought about what we could do, but nothing was really coming to mind. I shrugged my shoulders at him. He frowns slightly and tries thinking of something that they could do together.

“How about we go to the outlet and just walk around?” He suggests. I nod my head and agree with him that we could do that.

“Would we just catch the next bus to get there?” I wondered. The next bus would be here in about 20 minutes, so it wouldn’t be that long of a wait.

He shakes his head before taking something out of his pocket. He brings out car keys and shakes it in front a bit. “We can just take my car.”

I stare at his keys and feel my heart skip a beat a bit. I do my best to keep my breath even once it starts feeling like it’s getting harder to breathe. It’s just a short 10 minute drive. It’ll be fine, I’LL be fine. It’s been years already and I’ve been on buses plenty of times. Nothing has ever happened all these years.

I nod my head and try my best to smile at him, hoping that he falls for the fake smile. He looks at me and doesn’t seem to notice it much or he just didn’t want to say anything. Either way he started getting ready to get up and I did the same. He walked in front first to lead me to where he had parked which was closer to the university. 

Since it was a weekday, there were plenty of students wandering around, unluckily for me. I could tell that some of the students were looking at us as we walked together quietly. It was a little unnerving having this attention and Seungcheol ended up noticing.

“Just ignore them. It’s what Jeonghan and I do all the time,” Seungcheol whispered softly. I almost didn’t catch what he said, had I not been standing next to him. I looked up at him and saw he was still looking forward until he felt my eyes on him. He turned his head to look at me before giving a small reassuring smile. I return his smile and face forward again, feeling slightly better with the reassurance.

We eventually reached his car which was parked by one of the restaurants right by the university. He unlocked the car with the button on his keys before walking over to the passenger side and opening the door for me.

“You don’t have to do that, y’know?” I tell him, as I enter the car and look up at him. He watches to make sure I’m in the car completely.

“Yeah, but I was taught to help others,” He shrugs it off. It was interesting to see someone who has very polite manners, holding the door open, pushing the chair in, and other small things I noticed that he does.

He closes the door before jogging over to the driver’s side of the car and getting in. We both put our seat belts on and he checks to make sure I’m good before turning on the car and starting to head over to the outlets.

The car ride was silent except for the sounds of the radio playing music quietly. I didn’t want to try speaking in fear that he’d notice that I was slightly shaking. I was doing my best to control my breathing so he wouldn’t hear me. Luckily, the car ride was short and sweet as we arrived just a few minutes later at the outlets. We both got out and started to walk around seeing all the different shops.

“If you see any shops that you want to go in, just let me know, alright?” He mentions to me as we walk together. I nod my head and tell him the same, not wanting this day to just revolve around what I want.

We found a couple of shops that we mutually wanted to go into, such as electronic stores and snack stores. We bonded a bit over time as we walked together.

I learned that Seungcheol and Jeonghan have been friends ever since they were kids and their families were close with each other. Their families aren't really close anymore but the guys were best friends and knew everything about each other. They basically thought of each other as brothers at this point.

It was surprisingly a very laid back hangout, and the slight awkwardness went away by the end of the day. Eventually, he was already driving me back home as our hangout came to an end. The ride was still nerve wracking for me but it seemed easier to hid it from him.

He walked over to open my door when we reached my home. As I walked to my door, I looked back and saw that he was standing there waiting for me to go inside. He brings one hand up and makes a shooing motion, telling me to go inside. I smile and wave before unlocking the door and going inside. It wasn't too bad of a day. Maybe next time, Jeonghan can join us.

****

a/n: sorry this took so long T_T i was actually stuck at how to write this chapter. hopefully this chapter is ok.

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[blvckqwz]

Slaugher House

The sound of bullets filled the air, Isabelle could hear the bodies dropping on the hot asphalt, the sickening scent of blood filling her nostrils as she ducked, hiding from the men.

She felt dumb, for not having realized it earlier, for walking right into the nest, lured by the empty promise of a safe place. But no place was safe, she now knew it.

No matter how many people live there, or how many supplies you have, safety wasn’t a thing anymore. And for the Terminus’s inhabitants, people and supplies didn’t make a big difference.

Isabelle had stumbled across the horrifying truth behind the so-called sanctuary a few hours after arriving. She could feel something wrong in the air from the beginning, but she couldn’t shatter Carl’s hopes, not after everything they had done to get there. After all his family was possibly there, just like hers, all thought she was praying that wasn’t the case.

Because her mother being there meant that she was dead, and Isabelle couldn’t allow herself to think about that, not now. So she kept busy, fidgeting with the small knife she had luckily hidden, looking around for threats.

She and Carl had split up after hell broke loose, trying to get away from the snipers shooting them down. She hoped he was okay, but she couldn’t think about him either right now. She had to look for her mother, if she even had one anymore, and get out of there the fastest she could. 

It would be nice if Carl was there too, the boy was good company. A friend even. She didn’t know if he considered her a friend, but she knew she did. It’s not like she had many other friends or anything like that, which made it even more pathetic than it already was. Carl probably had many friends, Isabelle thought, at least before the outbreak. 

A scream pierced through the deadly silence, making the girl peer from her hiding spot behind a dumpster to look at the scene unfolding right in front of her. Five men were being led out of a train car by some terminus’s people. Isabelle couldn’t see their faces, but she could hear one of them yelling like a mad man. 

Where were they taking them?

Isabelle slipped past the building, her eyes switching from the train car from the door the group had walked in. Maybe there were other people in the car? Maybe her mom was there too. But she could also be where they were taking the group of men. 

She didn’t have much time, this could be her last chance to find her mom. So, before she could think further, she quietly followed the group inside the building. She hoped that she had made the right choice. 

“Carl!” A familiar voice called from behind him as the doors were shut again, the sound of the lock sliding shut echoing in the train car.

“Dad!” He exclaimed, running in his father’s arms’. His watery eyes found Michone, smiling at the two of them. “I was so worried.” She said as he hugged her.

“I… How?” Rick asked in amazement as he watched the son he thought he had lost. 

“I was wandering alone after what happened and then I ran into…” Carl didn’t know how to call her. A girl? No, it sounded too weird. A person? Too vague. “I found someone who was also looking for her family and then we found the signs and we got here.” “Well, what’s this someone’s name?” Michonne asked.

“Isabelle. But we split up so now I don’t know where she is.” Daryl didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or to cry at the thousandth destiny’s cruel joke. First he has to watch another family reunion, then he hears that name. A name he swore he would never say again. Of course he was happy, Carl being alive was great news. He just didn’t know how much longer he could keep seeing family’s reunions knowing that his had been ripped away from him. It was sick, it was cruel. And most of all, it was his fault. 

“C’mon, this is no time to cry over spilled milk.” His brother grumbled behind him, sure that the comment would only reach the other man’s ears. And it did, loud and clear.

You gotta let it go. 

Daryl just grunted in return, his eyes scanning the inside of the train car. She was long dead, a ghost that existed only in his memory. She was dead, she wasn’t here. 

So why was he still there? He didn’t even care when he felt the door opening, a bunch of men grabbing him along with others and shoved him outside as smoke filled his vision and nostrils.

She was dead.

Isabellehad to suppress a gag as she wandered around the building. It was a slaughter house. She had just sneaked into a slaughterhouse.

The realization laid heavy on her as she kept looking around, her fingers twitching as they held her small knife harder, her knuckles turning white.

Blood was everywhere, making her sick to her stomach. She kept advancing the gory hallways, the sickening smell of dried blood all around her, clinging to her clothes, her hair, her skin. It was gruesome, not even human. A monstrosity. 

She came across three dumpsters, one with “Burn” written on it, the other with “Feed” and the last one with “Wash.” A shiver ran down the girl’s back. These people were sick, a kind of sickness even worse than the dead. 

She continued her journey in the buildings, finding herself in a room that resembled some kind of mausoleum, with candles on the floor and names written all around. If she was creeped out before, now she was utterly terrified.

“We, First, Always.” A voice spoke from behind her, reading one of the phrases written on the wall. Isabelle turned around, her heart jumping out of her chest as she held harder to her knife.

But it was no use. She was already surrounded.

“Hi, sugar. Are you lost?” One of the men mocked, his eyes reminding the girl of a wolf looking at his new prey. She did feel like a prey, surrounded by a pack. “Stay away.” Her voice was barely a whisper as she kept waving her blade in front of her.

The man’s thin mouth contorted in a nauseating grin, his eyes glistening with a dark light under the few candles, “Drop the knife sweetie, it won’t help you.” Nothing will.

“Stay away.” She repeated, this time a bit louder. But there was still terror in her quivering voice as she tried to straighten up. She knew it was only a matter of time before they got her, they were more numerous and stronger. They were making fun of her, making fun of her fear. They were playing with their food.

Nausea washed over Isabelle as she looked at the faces of her tormentors. They looked like feral dogs, ready to jump on the first thing that moved. It made her sick to her guts, knowing what they were going to do to her, and especially knowing that it wasn’t the first time.

“I’m Alex, what’s your name?” The man from before introduced himself. He must have been the leader of the small crowd, the girl assumed by the way the others kept glancing at him every now and then.

“You are one of the newbies, aren’t you?” He kept chatting like they were old friends and not butcher and cattle. Isabelle could feel herself hyperventilating, the fear and the nausea mixing together in a deadly combo.

“Where is my mother?” It was the first time that the girl spoke with a firm voice, gripping her knife with both hands and pointing to the people around her.

“Your mother?” Alex raised a brow, “Sweetie, she’s right here.” He replied. At first the girl didn’t understand if the man had officially gone completely psycho, then she noticed him gesturing at his stomach and she swore that everything went black. 

“Bitch!” A woman shouted as Isabelle twisted herself in half and threw up the little that she had eaten on the floor. She looked at the mush in front of her feets. The meat. She froze. She had eaten their meat. Another wave of vomit washed over her as the monsters in front of her watched her in between amusement and rage.

“How dare you?” She could hear someone yell as she got up, her knees buckling. She raised her knife once again, which probably went unseen by the man who screamed and that was now throwing himself on her, since he landed perfectly on her blade, impaling himself with a disgusting swoosh.

Her eyes went wide as she watched the man’s mouth open and close without a sound coming out, hot blood pouring on her hand and clothes. Isabelle withdrew the knife, the man’s eyes losing the light as he collapsed on the floor in a pool of his own blood.

Hell broke loose, a scream erupting from Alex as the girl’s legs moved before she could even process what just happened, sprinting towards the nearest exit. She could hear someone crying, and she was sure that if she looked behind her shoulder she could see those fuckers circling the dying man, mourning him like he was a good person, like any of them was. But she couldn’t look back, not if she wanted to get out of there alive.

“Not so fast!” He yelled as he ran towards her, grabbing her hair and yanking her towards him. Isabelle let out a raw scream as her fist collided with the man’s nose, and she swore that she felt the bones breaking. But she didn’t check, she was too focussed on escaping the horrors behind her.

She could feel the muscles of her legs begging for mercy, but not her, she never begged and she sure wasn’t going to start now. She jumped over a dead body scattered on the floor, ignoring the disgust washing over her. 

Isabelle looked up and realized she was in the real slaughterhouse, pieces of human meat hanging from the ceiling and all sorts of utensils laying on blood soaked tables. If the girl hadn’t thrown up before she would have done it now. 

“You can run, but you can’t hide…” Alex's voice called from outside, making Isabelle shiver. But this time she wasn’t willing to be the prey. Her mind shut off as her survival instinct took over, making her grab the sharpest hatchet she could see and hide behind a table, trying to ignore the reek of the human remains. 

“I like you, girl.” The man said as he entered the room, making the girl shut her eyes in terror, “We could be friends.” A loud bang almost made her jump. He must have flipped a table, she thought as she gripped harder to her weapon, praying that her table wasn’t the next.

His footsteps were loud, much louder than hers. That was the only advance that she had, she was quicker and nimble, while he was big and loud. She could have the upper hand if she caught him by surprise.

“Why would I be friends with you?” She asked once his back was turned before quickly slipping behind another table. He turned around to where her voice had come from, slowly advancing.

“We have shelter and food, we can share.” He spoke, his usual disgusting grin plastered on his stupid face. But she could see his disfigured nose even in the dim light, dried blood adorning his mouth and chin. He was hurt, thanks to her. The corners of her mouth tugged upwards.

If this wasn’t a life death situation Isabelle would let out a scoff at the man’s idiocy. He thought she was stupid, that she was weak. But she wasn’t like that anymore, she couldn’t be. She wasn’t the same whiny kid her uncle used to make fun of, she wasn’t the sensible, kind, old her. 

She was the butcher now, not the cattle.

“How can I know that I ain’t the food?” The girl questioned before shifting towards the next table. If she kept doing this she could slip out of the room and lock him in it. 

Alex let out a laugh that was anything but reassuring, “Trust me, we won’t eat you.” 

“Isn’t your first rule to not trust anyone? Or does it only work for those inside your freaky cult?” Isabelle replied as she ducked under another table, finding herself pressed against something cold. A leg. She gagged.

“My mom created the said freaky cult, y’know?” Alex explained, “We don’t eat each other, we are family.” He said, “Most of the time.” “Family dinners must be really nice I assume.” The girl shot back as she finally peeled herself away from the sticky dead leg and quietly ran to another table. She didn’t know how much longer she could keep playing this little game, the door seemed so far and she could feel the man growing impatient.

“You are such a smartass right?” He questioned, “Why would we eat you? Don’t you think I already know that you are all bones?” Isabelle gritted her teeth, “It took me no effort to yank you, you are malnourished.” He continued, “You were like this even before this happened, right? You don’t look like someone who comes from money.” The door. The door. The door. Isabelle kept repeating to herself as an attempt to not focus on the harsh words coming out from the man’s mouth. 

“Let me guess, daddy was too coked out to remember to buy food, am I right?” He asked, “No money left for our poor little Isabelle.” The girl froze. He knew her name. 

“You seriously thought that I would fall for your little plan? Don’t you think that I know who you are?” Alex continued as he turned straight to her. 

“I know you are hiding, Isabelle.” He almost growled as the girl could feel herself sink into the floor, all hopes shattered. 

“Start running.” And she did, as fast as her aching legs allowed, straight to the door. But he grabbed her, throwing her on the hard floor. She hissed in pain. He was right, she in fact was malnourished, and had been for a long time. 

“I’ve got you.” The sick grin was back on the man’s face as he lowered himself, “No more games.” He turned serious as he grabbed her by her arm and shoved her against a table, making her hit her head.

Isabelle let out a cry as she felt hot liquid pouring from her head on her neck and back. A fist landed on her cheekbone, “You think you are so clever, uh?” He was furious now, totally deranged, “You are so smart, right?” Another punch. 

Red filled her vision, and the girl could swear that she was having a concussion with all those hits on the head.

Isabelle let out a scream as she felt the coldness of a blade on her throat. This couldn’t be the end, not after what she had been through. But black dots danced in front of her eyes and she felt dizzy, so dizzy that she might fall asleep. Her breathing started to get faster and faster as her heart kept painfully slamming against her chest. 

This is the end.

The man mocked her screams, “No one is coming to save you now bitch.” She felt the tip of what she assumed was a knife draw blood around her chin, not enough to kill her but probably enough to leave an ugly scar. But not even the ugliest scar could match the scar that was now forever staining her mind. Betrayal, despair and horror filled that scar, forever imprinted on her.

“Not so talkative now uh? You don’t have any snarky comments for me?” He asked as he tugged her hair up, raising her head to look at him as she had gone limp on the floor, “Talk.”

Isabelle gathered the little strength that she had and spit blood on the man’s face, probably her last little revenge. 

The man just chuckled as he wiped the blood with his hand, “You are so dead.” He hissed as he threw another punch on the girl’s already bruising skin, knocking her out.

Isabelle’s eyes were wide and her pupils dilated as she watched the man get closer once again, his hot, sticky breath on her face. This is the end.

Another punch landed on the girl’s face, her head rolling to the side as she laid on her back on the cold, blood stained floor. Alex’s right hand closed around her throat, strangling her. She kicked him, but it was no use as it only seemed to fuel the man’s rage. The pressure on her neck was barely bearable, and Isabelle’s vision was starting to blur, tears tickling her eyes. She caught a glimpse of shiny metal on her left, another hit coming down her face.

The hatchet. 

Isabelle stretched her arm towards the weapon, her swollen face twisting in pain as the man’s knee stomped on it, probably breaking it. The girl let out a yelp as she felt the bone crushing under his weight. She tried to wiggle her fingers, and even if it hurt like a bitch, she was pleased to find out that they still could move. 

Her hand was so close to the saw that she could feel its handle with the tip of her numb fingers. She let out another yell of frustration as the man’s grip on her neck tightened, her consciousness slipping away little by little.

Her fingers finally curled against the weapon, bringing it up in the man’s neck with no hesitation, stabbing him. Hot blood poured from his sliced neck, spraying on her face, in her mouth. The man’s eyes widened in surprise as he let out a wet cough, blood coming out of his mouth. 

Isabelle squinted as she pressed the blade further into the man’s jugular, more blood spilling on her. “Fucking. Die.” She hissed as she yanked the blade towards her, finally slicing the man’s neck open. 

Alex cried out one last time before Isabelle shoved him off her and shakily got up, her head pounding as she closed her eyes to regain her balance. This time she looked back at the second man she had killed that day, blood still cascading from his wound onto the floor. She looked down at her crimson hand still holding the hatchet, wondering whether to jab it or not in the man’s brain. 

She tsked as she finally exited the slaughterhouse, leaving the man to bleed out. Men like him deserved no mercy. No one in that hell hole did.

Isabelle knew she had to get to the train car before the adrenaline washed over, her legs screaming at her to stop as she kept running, still covered in both her and Alex’s blood. 

An explosion suddenly made the floor shake under her feets. She looked around, flames roaring from a building near the fence, walkers already entering the compound. 

She had to be quick, she realized as she ran even faster then before, holding the hatchet in her good hand. The Terminus inhabitants had already noticed the bomb, snipers shooting everything that moved. 

The dead’s moans filled the air among the sound of bullets, and the sickening smell of burnt flesh filled the girl's nostrils as she watched the walkers slumping towards the roaring fire. They hadn’t noticed yet, but it was only a matter of time before they did.

She kept going, her eyes wide as she noticed a body laying on the ground, three dead people feasting on it. The red hair mixed with the dirt and the blood on the floor, her face not visible. Isabelle felt fear wash over her as she chopped the head of the first dead, grabbing the attention of the other two. She glanced at the woman’s face, and let out a sigh of relief as she didn’t recognize her.  

Her blade stabbed the other walker, letting out an awful crunch as it hit its skull. The other one came next, sliced in two as it extended its hand to grab her. She grabbed a dead body and scrunched her nose as she cut its stomach open and smeared its guts on her, suppressing the urge to gag. This was the only way to get past the herd.

Another walker suddenly yanked her by her jacket, latting out a horrifying groan as his jaw clenched and unclenched, trying to eat her. She yelped before sticking her blade into its skull, making it slump back

A bullet flew a few centimeters away from her face, where the roamer stood until a second before, making her look up. Her eyes met a gray haired woman with a rifle in her hand, pointing it at her. She was also covered in walkers’ intestines, which Isabelle found oddly reassuring. Their eyes found each other as she slightly raised her hands in surrender. 

The woman nodded before throwing one last glance at her and disappearing behind a door and Isabelle could swear for a moment that the woman recognized her. But she didn’t know who she was, no matter how hard she tried to remember. 

Isabelle shook her head before moving past the dead, walking among them as she held her breath. She hated it, she hated hearing their agonizing groans, hated smelling their rotten flesh and hated that everyday that passed she began to feel more like them than like her old self. 

The train car stood in front of her, the same that she saw previously when some men were being dragged out from it. The dead kept walking towards the fire as she slowly stopped following them, instead turning to the muffled voices from inside the train car.

She let out two whistles, hoping that there was her mom inside and that she recognized the code. Instead a male’s voice spoke from behind the door, “Isabelle?” “Carl.” The girl felt safe for the first time that day. Carl was there, he was alive, “Step away from the door.” She whispered as she eyed the locket on it. Isabelle raised her hatchet before bringing it down the locket, breaking it. 

The door opened with a creek as the girl used all her strength to make enough space for her to slip into. A dim light welcomed her, making her squint her eyes a few before she could make out the shadows of the people surrounding her.

A body suddenly came crashing against her, his arms wrapping tightly around her aching frame, but she didn’t care, all that mattered was that they were okay and together. So she hugged the boy back despite her sore body asking for mercy. They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity, probably a bit longer than necessary, both unaware and unbothered by the knowing glances that the older people were occasionally giving them before looking away to give the pair some privacy.

“What happened to you?” Carl asked as he pulled away, shifting awkwardly on his feets as he took notice of her bruised and bloodied face. 

“This place…” Isabelle started, “It’s not what we thought.” She said as tears started to gather in the corners of her eyes, “They tried to capture me, they knew who we were.” She said, “They… eat people.” 

“A few murmurs spread among the people. The news weighed heavily on the group, only confirming what they already knew deep down. Isabelle looked around at the unfamiliar faces, her heart both aching and feeling lightheaded when she didn’t recognize anyone. So her mother wasn’t here, she realized. That was good, it meant that she was safe from the ongoing horrors. But was she safe from the rest of the world? 

“Are you okay?” A woman asked as she placed a reassuring hand on the girl’s shoulder, noticing how she flinched away from the touch. “Sorry, I zoned out.” Isabelle mumbled as she looked up at the woman, then back to her shoes. She looked like a nice lady, with a kind smile on her face and bright green eyes. She looked nothing like her mom. She barely smiled. 

“it’s okay, I get it, this is a scary place.” The woman reassured her.

“I’m not scared.” The younger girl replied, her words coming out harsher than she intended. 

The woman’s eyes widened in surprise, but she quickly went back to her usual kind expression, “You look like a really brave girl.” She said, “I have a sister a few years older than you. I know this isn’t easy.” She continued as she noticed the girl’s blue eyes looking up at her again, “I’m Maggie.” “Isabelle.” The girl replied as she looked down at her shoes again. She wasn’t good at making friends, she was too shy.

“We should get out.” A red haired man said, making all the conversations around him stop, “The explosion is the only chance we have to get the hell away from this. Let’s stick to Rick’s plan.” “What’s the situation out there?” A Hispanic woman asked the girl.

“There are a lot of dead walking around, but they go towards the fire.” Isabelle explained as she gestured to her blood soaked clothes, “Snippers will try to shoot us down from the rooftops, if they are still alive.” 

Silence followed her statement, making the girl wonder if she said something wrong. 

“Don’t be a bunch of pussies!” The red haired man yelled, “If the girl made it we can.” He reminded her of her uncle, he was also very loud. And he used to swear a lot. She found it comforting.

“Can you run?” Carl appeared next to her without her noticing.

Isabelle shrugged, “I made it here, I ain’t backing down now.” 

The boy shot her a reassuring smile, “Stay next to me.” He said before the doors opened, light washing over them, not giving Isabelle time to reply.

And then they ran.

Her legs hurt and she could feel her heart beating, but she still ran.

A walker came to close, but it got kicked down by Maggie, who was right in front of her. 

Isabelle stabbed another walker with her hatchet, blood splashing on her already stained face.

She felt a hand grabbing her, but she didn’t pay attention to who it belonged to. 

Then it was running again.

“The fence!” Someone shouted, and they all followed, zigzagging the cascade of bullets coming from above. 

A sharp pain came from her broken arm as whoever had grabbed her kept dragging her along. The fence was a few feets from them now, a blanket covering the barbed wire as the red haired man and the Hispanic woman helped a man with a chubby face and a ugly mullet clumsy jump over it before following him.

Isabelle pulled herself up the fence right after Carl, feeling Maggie presence behind her as she tried to climb over. But she could feel her muscles shutting down, and she knew it could be over soon.

Still they made it out the hell hole, a feeling of relief washing over her. Isabelle looked back at the roaring fire surrounding the building, her chest tightening. Her mom wasn’t there. Where was she?

She felt Carl’s hand on her arm as they walked towards the group and he could have seen her face flush if it wasn’t already all bruised. Her head kept throbbing but she was still happy. Because she had Carl. And she was hopeful that her mom was around too, looking for her.

“So.” The red haired man approached once Carl waddled away, “Who the hell are you kid?” 

The girl raised her chin proudly, her eyes meeting the man’s, “I’m Isabelle sir.” She said, “Isabelle Dixon.” She could see with the corner of her eyes a few people exchanging weird glances, but she was too busy trying to stop the dots dancing in front of her to care. Confusion filled her, and she wasn’t sure if it was for the glances or for the conclusion.

Then the void swallowed her, and before she knew it her body hit the ground, blacking out.  

[sugawhaaa]

Sk8ter Boi

Gaon x reader

Genre~ high-school AU, fluff, rom com vibes

Warnings: cringe ;-; (aka there's not really any but if you spot one notify me)

Notes: this is clearly based on the song sk8ter Boi by Avril Lavine. Recently I've been listening to that song a lot and just some ideas sparked from it 👍 it's definitely not 100% what the song is by its just the general idea. Also once again this is proof read but I can't read so there's probably quite a few mistakes.

Chapter 1 "He was boy, she was a girl"

"Finally that horrid class is over," your best friend Amira said as you and your friend group walked out of the main school doors. It was late May so at least the weather was nice but exam season was coming very soon. As you and your friends walked down the staircase you heard the sound of skateboard wheels on concrete.

"Are those punks at it again" your other friend growled. All your friends started complaining about this group of punks in your school. They all wore baggy jeans and black and red sweaters with holes in them. Their hair is long and messy but most of all it was like their whole lives revolved around skateboarding and bullying your friend group. You and your friends all did ballet and all are straight A "girlie girls" who wore loads of makeup and crop tops with plaid pajama pants. Well you were the least girlie out of all of them but they still loved you as a friend.

"Can you guys go away!" Amira went up to them. The long haired one just skated really close to her before turning sharply making her jump and yelp. The skater boy just laughed at her.

"We're not doing anything wrong" The orange haired punk came over to you and your friends. He was wearing a wool sweater that was red, white and orange. His pants were baggy dark jeans that slightly covered the tops of his vans. From the very limited information you knew about these guys you were pretty sure his name was Gunil. While Gunil and the long haired one argued with your friends, all the other boys just kept skating around the concrete sidewalks around your school.

"Hey Cherry let's just leave them be, it's not like they're hurting anyone" you said putting your hand on your friends shoulder.

"No they do this everyday I'm sick of it! They take up the whole courtyard!" Cherry yelled back. Cherry's the type of person that says what's on her mind and isn't afraid to get into a fight or two. Her name is not actually Cherry though. Her birth name is Chaitali, but she hates it and thinks it's dumb. So ever since she cut her hair to a little bit below her jawline and dyed her hair red everyone calls her Cherry.

"Jeez, someone's got a temper" the long haired boy teased. His outfit wasn't much different from the others honestly. The only difference was that the holes in his pants were MASSIVE and he wore a purple tank top instead of a long sleeved shirt.

"I'll show you temper!" Cherry growled as she stomped to get closer to the boys. Just as she was about to raise her fist, one of the boys shouted

"Easy there Apple face!" This boy had long black hair that was dyed red at the tips. His outfit was probably the weirdest amongst them all. A weird scarf and a patterned shirt that didn't match anything paired with some baggy jeans and converse.

"Apple face!?" Cherry shouted back

"Yeah you're one to talk, you can't even put an outfit together" Amira snapped back.

"I don't think anything can go with that horrid scarf anyways" another girl snickered. At that comment the boy looked shocked before looking down at the ground, clearly very upset. That's when you decided to leave, get away from all the arguing and walk home. You could still hear the boys saying stuff like "Oh run away you chicken!" "You start the fight then walk away, yeah that makes sense" and they kept laughing. You ignored them of course and just went on your merry way.

Once you got home all the girls were chatting on snap about how annoying the boys were but you refused to talk to them and instead you got ready for ballet class. You stuck on some music and started rocking out as you packed your bag. Then you realized you were running a little late so you rushed downstairs and your mom was already prepared to get in the car. You and your mom got in the car and drove to the dance studio.

Ballet class went as normal (the girls still complaining about the punks) and so was the rest of your evening. You ate dinner, studied and did some writing and aimless scrolling on tiktok. As you got into bed you lay there thinking about the boys. They weren't that bad, and the scarf boy looked so upset when Kayla insulted his scarf. Though there was nothing you could do about it now and tomorrow was an exciting day so you decided to dream about tomorrow. Tomorrow you and your friends decided to go have a picnic at a park nearby and after you finish lunch you all planned to get ice cream together.

°○°○°○°○°○°○time skip°○°○°○°○°○°○°

You woke up nice and refreshed after a great sleep and even better you remembered that today was the picnic day! You ate breakfast and passed the time by looking through your phone. You then realized it was time to get ready. You excitedly got out an outfit. You wore a strawberry dress with thick socks that went just above your ankles and put your hair into a bow

The park you were going to was walking distance so you told your mom you were heading out and started walking to the park. A picnic basket in hand. You were all giddy giddy smiling as you walked down the sidewalk. That's when you ran into your friend Amira. She had a backpack with her.(most likely filled with snacks and a blanket)

"Amira!" You called out to her jogging up to her. You complimented each other's outfits and shared your excitement about the hangout. It wasn't long before you ran into Cherry who was ironically wearing a cherry themed outfit. You three chatted before you arrived at the park. You couldn't spot anyone else you had invited so the three of you decided to set up the blanket and food. That's when Kayla showed up in a summery dress, followed by Kamsi who wore a long yellow dress. Once everyone arrived you all dug in. It was honestly a blast and the food was delicious. That's when something just had to go wrong.

"Awe look at this" a purple haired boy came over to your picnic spot. No doubt he was one of the skater boys from your school.

"Having a little picnic girlies" another boy came over. He had short pink hair and wore the usual baggy tank top and baggy shorts.

"Ugh do you guys ever mind your own business" Kayla groaned. Hardly even looking at them. The boys just laughed.

"Do you guys ever stop annoying us and acting like stuck up snobs?" The pink haired one teased.

"Do you guys ever act your age!?" Kayla stood up with her fists clenched. The boys just laughed at her anger.

"Look she's even cuter when she's mad" the pink haired one pointed at her laughing. That's when Kayla snapped and went to go at them. Everyone started freaking out when she started pulling his hair. Kamsi started pulling Kayla off him. You just stood there in shock. Why did they always have to fight? Why can't they just leave each other alone.

"Alright that's enough guys," Amira said calmly and all the girls relaxed.

"Jeez that kittens got claws," the pink haired one said, rubbing his head to ease the pain. That's when Cherry stood up and walked over to the pink boy. She raised her right arm with all her fingers fully extended. She winded her arm back and slapped him across the face as hard as possible. The sound of her hand coming in contact with his face echoed throughout the park.

"Go away or next time I'll use my fist" Cherry said, holding a fist up to the boys. The pink one tsked before walking away with the purple haired one. "Anyways, where were we?" Cherry said, dusting off her dress and sitting back down.

"Wow, that was amazing Cherry! They actually went away" Kayla cheered. They all praised Cherry and you were happy yourself that they left you alone. You sighed in relief and took a sip of your ramune.

After the whole incident it was about 3pm so you and your friends decided to pack up and get some ice cream, but on your way over Kayla spotted a shop and said she wanted to look around. It was very clearly a tourist spot but she still found things to buy. After a while she spotted more and more shops and you started to have fun. You got a Keychain of a little duck and found an anime pin. Then you found a field that had a lot of Pokémon according to your friends and they started playing Pokémon go.

After way too long you finally got your ice cream and decided to eat out at one of their picnic tables. It was quite the sight. The sun was setting and it looked beautiful sparkling across the ocean. After finishing your cone you were getting ready to head out when you had to use the bathroom. You told the girls to go on ahead without you.

"Are you sure? We can wait, you know" Amira smiled.

"It's okay you guys gotta catch the city bus I can just walk home" you smiled heading into the bathroom.

"Okay," Amira shrugged

"See you later,"

"This was fun"

"Bye bye!"

All the girls called out as they walked back to the sidewalk. When you were in the bathroom this old woman started randomly talking to you as you were washing your hands. At first she complimented your dress before going on a long rant about strawberries. She met her husband in a strawberry field? Her first husband, she corrected. You just smiled and nodded. Before drying your hands. She followed and told you about her grandchildren. Not really knowing what to do you just kept smiling and nodding and responded with short answers like "mhm" "I see" "yeah" after she was done ranting she went out of the bathroom and you followed. She turned to the right and you turned to the left, but you looked back at her thinking about how weird and awkward that encounter was. You weren't watching where you were going and that's when you bumped into someone. You started apologizing when you opened your eyes to see that very familiar scarf. The one that one of the skater boys wears. You backed up and looked at him in the face.

"It's okay don't worry about it," He smiled with pink cheeks.