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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 7 months

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By: Beth Bourne

Published: Feb 27, 2024

Kaiser gender specialists were eager to approve hormones and surgeries, which would all be covered by insurance as “medically necessary.”

On September 6, 2022, I received mail from my Kaiser Permanente Davis Ob-Gyn reminding me of a routine cervical screening. The language of the reminder stood out to me: “Recommended for people with a cervix ages 21 to 65.” When I asked my Ob-Gyn about this strange wording, she told me the wording was chosen to be “inclusive” of their “transgender” and “gender fluid” patients.

Based on this response, several thoughts occurred to me. Could I expose the medical scandal of “gender-affirming care” by saying and doing everything my daughter and other trans-identifying kids are taught to do? Would there be the type of medical safeguarding and differential diagnosis we would expect in other fields of medicine, or would I simply be allowed to self-diagnose and be offered the tools (i.e. hormones and surgeries) to choose my own gender adventure and become my true authentic self?

If I could demonstrate that anyone suffering from delusions of their sex, self-hatred, or identity issues could qualify for and easily obtain body-altering hormones and surgeries, all covered by insurance as “medically necessary” and potentially “life-saving” care, then maybe people would finally wake up. I certainly had.

I was prepared for failure. I wasn’t prepared for how easy success would be.

* * *

I am a 53-year-old mom from Davis, CA. My daughter began identifying as a transgender boy (social transition) and using he/him pronouns at school during 8th grade. Like several of her peers who also identified as trans at her school, my daughter was a gifted student and intellectually mature but socially immature. This shift coincided with her school’s sudden commitment to, and celebration of, a now widespread set of radical beliefs about the biology of sex and gender identity.

She “came out” as trans to her father (my ex-husband) and me through a standard coming-out letter, expressing her wish to start puberty blockers. She said she knew they were safe, citing information she had read from Planned Parenthood and the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH). To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I was also confused because this announcement was sudden and unexpected. While others quickly accepted and affirmed my daughter’s new identity, I was apprehensive and felt the need to learn more about what was going on.

Events began escalating quickly.

During a routine doctor’s visit scheduled for dizziness my daughter said that she was experiencing, the Kaiser pediatrician overheard her father using “he/him” pronouns for our daughter. The pediatrician seemed thrilled, quickly asking my daughter about her “preferred pronouns” and updating her medical records to denote that my daughter was now, in fact, my son. The pediatrician then recommended we consult the Kaiser Permanente Oakland Proud pediatric gender clinic, where she could get further information and (gender affirming) “treatment.” Now I was the one feeling dizzy.

As I began educating myself on this issue, I discovered that this phenomenon—minors, most often teen girls, suddenly adopting trans identities—was becoming increasingly widespread. It even had a name: rapid onset gender dysphoria, or ROGD. Thankfully, after learning about the potential side-effects of blockers and hormones, my ex-husband and I managed to agree not to consent to any medical interventions for our daughter until she turned 18 and would then be able to make such decisions as an adult.

Over the past five years, my daughter’s identity has slowly evolved in ways that I see as positive. Our bond, however, has become strained, particularly since I began publicly voicing my concerns about what many term as “gender ideology.” Following my daughter’s 17th birthday family celebration, she sent me an email that evening stating she would be cutting off contact with me.

While this estrangement brought me sorrow, with my daughter living full-time with her father, it also gave me the space to be an advocate/activist in pushing back on gender identity ideology in the schools and the medical industry.

I decided to go undercover as a nonbinary patient to show my daughter what danger she might be putting herself in—by people who purport to have her health as their interest, but whose main interest is in medically “affirming” (i.e., transitioning) whoever walks through their door. I am at heart a mother protecting her child.

* * *

My daughter’s sudden decision to become a boy was heavily on my mind in early September of 2022, when mail from my Kaiser Permanente Davis Ob-Gyn reminded me of a routine cervical screening with “Recommended for people with a cervix ages 21 to 65.” I was told that the wording was chosen to be “inclusive” of transgender and “gender fluid” patients.

Throughout the whole 231-day process of my feigned gender transition, the Kaiser gender specialists were eager to serve me and give me what I wanted, which would all be covered by insurance as “medically necessary.” My emails were returned quickly, my appointments scheduled efficiently, and I never fell through the cracks. I was helped along every step of the way.

Despite gender activists and clinicians constantly claiming that obtaining hormones and surgeries is a long and complex process with plenty of safety checks in place, I was in full control at every checkpoint. I was able to self-diagnose, determine how strong a dose of testosterone I received and which surgeries I wanted to pursue, no matter how extreme and no matter how many glaring red flags I purposefully dropped. The medical workers I met repeatedly reminded me that they were not there to act as “gatekeepers.”

I was able to instantly change my medical records to reflect my new gender identity and pronouns. Despite never being diagnosed with gender dysphoria, I was able to obtain a prescription for testosterone and approval for a “gender-affirming” double mastectomy from my doctor. It took only three more months (90 days) to be approved for surgery to remove my uterus and have a fake penis constructed from the skin of my thigh or forearm. Therapy was never recommended.

Critics might dismiss my story as insignificant on the grounds that I am a 53-year-old woman with ample life experience who should be free to alter her body. However, this argument for adult bodily autonomy is a standard we apply to purely cosmetic procedures like breast implants, liposuction, and facelifts, not “medically necessary” and “lifesaving” treatments covered by health insurance. Or interventions that compromise health and introduce illness into an otherwise healthy body. And especially not for children.

My story, which I outline in much more detail below, should convince any half-rational person that gender medicine is not operating like any other field of medicine. Based on a radical concept of “gender identity,” this medical anomaly preys upon the body-image insecurities common among pubescent minors to bill health insurance companies for permanent cosmetic procedures that often leave their patients with permanently altered bodies, damaged endocrine systems, sexual dysfunction, and infertility.

* * *

Detailed Timeline of Events

On October 6, 2022, I responded to my Ob-Gyn’s email to tell her that, after some thought, I’d decided that maybe the label “cis woman” didn’t truly reflect who I was. After all, I did have some tomboyish tendencies. I told her I would like my records to be changed to reflect my newly realized “nonbinary” identity, and that my new pronouns were they/them. I also voiced my desire to be put in touch with an endocrinologist to discuss starting testosterone treatment.

Fifteen minutes later I received an email from another Kaiser doctor informing me that my medical records had been changed, and that once my primary doctor returned to the office, I’d be able to speak with her about hormone therapy.

I responded the following day (October 7, 2022), thanking her for changing my records, and asking if she could connect me with someone who could help me make an appointment for “top surgery” (i.e., a cosmetic double mastectomy) because my chest binder was rather “uncomfortable after long days and playing tennis.”

She told me to contact my primary care MD to “get things rolling,” and that there were likely to be “preliminary evaluations.”

Six days after contacting my primary care MD for a referral, I received an email from one of Kaiser’s gender specialists asking me to schedule a phone appointment so she could better understand my goals for surgery, so that I could get “connected to care.” This call to review my “gender affirming treatment options and services” would take 15-20 minutes, after which I would be “booked for intake,” allowing me to proceed with medical transition.

This wasn’t an evaluation of whether surgical transition was appropriate, it was simply a meeting for me to tell them what I wanted so that they could provide it.

On October 18, I had my one and only in-person appointment in preparation for top surgery. I met in Davis with my primary care physician, Dr. Hong-wen Xue. The assessment was a 10-minute routine physical exam that included blood tests. Everything came back normal. Notably, there was not a single question about why I wanted top surgery or cross-sex hormones. Nor was there any discussion of the risks involved with these medical treatments.

The following week, on October 24, I had a phone appointment with Rachaell Wood, MFT, a gender specialist with Kaiser Sacramento. The call lasted 15 minutes and consisted of standard questions about potential drug use, domestic violence, guns in the house, and whether I experienced any suicidal thoughts. There were no questions from the gender specialist about my reasons for requesting a mastectomy or cross-sex hormones, or why I suddenly, at 52, decided I was “nonbinary.”

After the call, Kaiser emailed me instructions about how to prepare for my pre-surgery intake video appointment to evaluate my mental health, scheduled to take place on November 15. The email stated that prior to my appointment, I should research hormone risks on the WPATH website, and to “research bilateral mastectomy and chest reconstruction surgery risks and recovery” on Kaiser’s website.

I decided to request a “gender-affirming” double mastectomy and phalloplasty. Kaiser sent me a sample timeline for gender transition surgery preparation (see below) that you can use as a reference for the process. I also asked for a prescription for cross-sex hormones (testosterone) as needed and recommended by Kaiser.

[ Source: Kaiser Permanente, Top Surgery - EXPLORING YOUR SURGICAL OPTIONS ]

Pre-Surgery Mental Health Video Appointment, Part I

This “Mental Health Visit” assessment was conducted over Zoom. The Kaiser gender specialist started with questions addressing my marital status, race, gender identity, and other demographics. She asked whether I was ��thinking of any other surgeries, treatments in the future.” The list she read included “gender-affirming” hysterectomies, bottom surgeries such as metoidioplasty and phalloplasty, vocal coaching, support groups, and body contouring. “Anything else you might be interested in doing?” she asked. I said that I’d perhaps be interested in body contouring. I was also assured that all the procedures would be covered by insurance because they were considered “medically necessary.”

I dropped in several red flags regarding my mental health to see the reaction, but all were ignored. For instance, I revealed that I had PTSD. When the therapist asked me about whether I had experienced any “childhood trauma,” I explained that I grew up in Mexico City and had been groped several times and had also witnessed men masturbating in public and had been grabbed by men in subways and buses. “I was a young girl, so [I had] lots of experiences of sexual harassments, sexual assault, just the kind of stuff that happens when you are a girl growing up in a big city.” “So, you know,” I finished, “just the general feeling that you are unsafe, you know, in a female body.”

The therapist did not respond to my disclosure that trauma could be the cause of my dysphoria. Instead of viewing this trauma as potentially driving my desire to escape my female body through hormones and surgery, she asked whether there is anything “important that the surgery team should be aware of” regarding my “history of trauma,” such as whether I’d be comfortable with the surgeon examining and marking my chest prior to surgery.

When asked about whether I had had any “psychotic symptoms,” I told her that while I had had no such symptoms, my mother had a delusional nervous breakdown in her 50s because she had body dysmorphia and became convinced she had a growth on her neck that needed to be removed. I told her that my mother was then admitted to an inpatient hospital for severe depression. I asked her whether she ever sees patients with body dysmorphia and whether I could have potentially inherited that from my mother. She told me that psychosis was hereditary, but that it was “highly unlikely” that there was any connection between body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria.

I enthusiastically waved more mental health red flags, waiting to see if she would pick up on any of them.

I’m just wondering if my feelings, or perseverating, or feeling like these breasts make me really unhappy and I just don’t want them anymore!...I’m just not sure if that’s a similar feeling to body dysmorphia? How do you decide which one is gender dysphoria and general body dysmorphia, and just not liking something about your body? Feeling uncomfortable with your body? And I did have an eating disorder all through college. I was a distance runner in college so I had bulimia and anorexia, you know. So I don’t know if that’s related to gender dysphoria?

The therapist replied, “I completely appreciate your concerns, but I am going to ask you questions about your chest, about your expectations. And then I’ll be able to give you an assessment.” She also said the main difference between my mom’s situation and mine was that my mom didn’t really have a growth on her neck, whereas it’s “confirmed” that I actually have “chest tissue.” Furthermore, she said that while “historically there has been all this pressure on patients to be like ‘Are you really, really sure you want hormones? Are you 100% sure?’ We are a little more relaxed.” She continued, “As long as you are aware of the risks and the side-effects, you can put your toe in the water. You can stop ‘T’ [testosterone], you can go back and do it again later! You can stop it! You can stop it! You know what I mean?”

Because we ran out of time, I scheduled a follow-up phone meeting on December 27, 2022 with a different gender specialist to complete my mental health assessment for top surgery.

Pre-Surgery Mental Health Video Appointment, Part II

During this meeting, Guneet Kaur, LCSW, another Kaiser gender specialist (she/her/they/them pronouns) told me that she regretted the “gatekeeping vibe” of the meeting but assured me that since I have been “doing the work,” her questions are essentially just a form of “emotional support” before talking with the medical providers.

She asked me about what I’d been “looking into as far as hormones.” I told her that I’d be interested in taking small doses of testosterone to counterbalance my female feelings to achieve “a feeling that’s kind of neutral.”

When she asked me about me “not feeling like I match on the outside what I feel on the inside,” I dropped more red flags, mentioning my aversion to wearing dresses and skirts.

I don’t own a single dress or a skirt and haven't in 20 years. I think for me it’s been just dressing the way that’s comfortable for me, which is just wearing, jeans and sweatshirts and I have a lot of flannel shirts and, and I wear boots all the time instead of other kinds of shoes. So I think it’s been nice being able to dress, especially because I work from home now most of the time that just a feeling of clothing being one of the ways that I can feel more non-binary in my everyday life.

She responded, “Like having control over what you wear and yeah. Kind of that feeling of just, yeah, this is who I am today. That’s awesome. Yeah.”

She then asked me to describe my dysphoria, and I told her that I didn’t like the “feeling of the female form and being chesty,” and that because I am going through menopause, I wanted to start taking testosterone to avoid “that feeling of being like this apple-shaped older woman.” “Good. Okay, great,” she responded, reminding me that only “top surgery,” not testosterone, would be able to solve my chest dysphoria. (Perhaps it was because all these meetings were online, they didn’t notice I’m actually fit and relatively slender at 5’-5” and 130 pounds, and not apple-shaped at all.)

She told me that we had to get through a few more questions related to my medical history before “we can move on to the fun stuff, which is testosterone and top surgery.”

The “fun stuff” consisted of a discussion about the physical and mood changes I could expect, and her asking me about the dose of testosterone I wanted to take and the kind of “top surgery” technique I’d prefer to achieve my “chest goals.” She told me that all or most of my consultations for surgeries and hormones would be virtual.

The gender specialist told me after the appointment, she would submit my referral to the Multi-Specialty Transitions Clinic (MST) team that oversees “gender expansive care.” They would follow up to schedule a “nursing call” with me to review my medical history, after which they’d schedule my appointment with a surgeon for a consultation. Her instructions for this consultation were to “tell them what you’re wanting for surgery and then they share with you their game plan.”

[ Decision-making slide to help me identify my goals for top surgery–flat chest, nipple sensation, or minimal scarring. Source: Kaiser Permanente, Top Surgery - EXPLORING YOUR SURGICAL OPTIONS ]

She told me that Kaiser has a team of plastic surgeons who “only work with trans and nonbinary patients because there’s just so much need for them.” She asked about my priorities for chest surgery, such as whether I value flatness over nipple sensation. I learned about double incision top surgery with nipple grafts, as well as “keyhole,” “donut,” “buttonhole,” and “Inverted-T” top surgeries.

By the end of the hour-long appointment, I had my surgery referral and was ready for my “nursing call” appointment.

Nursing call with Nurse Coordinator from the Transgender Surgery and Gender Pathways Clinic at Kaiser San Francisco

On January 19, 2023, I had my nursing call with the Nurse Coordinator. He first said that “the purpose of this call is just for us to go through your chart together and make sure everything’s as accurate as possible.” Once that was done, my referral would be sent to the surgeon for a consultation.

He asked me about potential allergies and recreational drug use, and verified that I was up to date on mammograms, pap smears, and colon cancer screenings, as well as vaccines for flu and COVID. I verified my surgical history as well as my current medications and dietary supplements.

He told me about a “top surgery class” available for patients where one of the Kaiser surgeons “presents and talks about surgical techniques and options within top surgery,” and includes a panel of patients who have had top surgery. I signed up for the February 8th class.

Within 10 minutes he told me that he had “sent a referral to the plastic surgery department at Kaiser Sacramento,” and that I should be hearing from them in the next week or two to schedule a consultation.

Appointment for Testosterone

On January 27, I had a 13-minute online appointment with a primary care doctor at Kaiser Davis to discuss testosterone. The doctor verified my name and preferred pronouns, and then directly asked: “So, what would you like to do? What kind of physical things are you looking for?”

I told her I wanted facial hair, a more muscular and less “curvy” physique, and to feel stronger and androgynous. She asked me when I wanted to start, and I told her in the next few months. She asked me if I was menopausal, whether I had ovaries and a uterus, although that information should have been on my chart.

The doctor said she wanted me to come in to get some labs so she could check my current estrogen, testosterone, and hemoglobin levels before starting hormones. Then “we'll set the ball in motion and you'll be going. We’ll see you full steam ahead in the direction you wanna go.”

That was it. I made an appointment and had my lab tests done on February 12. My labs came back on February 14, and the following day, after paying a $5 copay at the Kaiser pharmacy, I picked up my testosterone pump. That was easy!

Top Surgery Consultation

On the same day I received my labs, I had a Zoom surgery consultation with Karly Autumn-Kaplan, MD, Kaiser Sacramento plastic surgeon. This consultation was all about discussing my “goals” for surgery, not about whether surgery was needed or appropriate.

I told the surgeon that I wanted a “flatter, more androgynous appearance.” She asked me some questions to get a better idea of what that meant for me. She said that some patients want a “male chest,” but that others “want to look like nothing, like just straight up and down, sometimes not even nipples.” Others still wanted their chest to appear slightly feminine and only “slightly rounded.” I told her that I’d like my chest to have a “male appearance.”

“What are your thoughts about keeping your nipples?” she asked. “Are you interested in having nipples or would you like them removed?” I told her that I’d like to keep my nipples, but to make them “smaller in size.” She asked me if I’d like them moved to “the edge of the peck muscle” to achieve “a more male appearance.” I said yes.

I was asked to show my bare chest from the front and side, which I did. Then she asked me how important it was for me to keep my nipple sensation. I replied that it was important unless it would make recovery more difficult or there were other associated risks. She highlighted the problem with the free nipple graft, saying that removing the nipple to relocate it means “you're not gonna have sensation in that nipple and areola anymore.” However, some nipple sensation could be preserved by keeping it attached to “a little stalk of tissue” with “real nerves going to it,” but that would require leaving more tissue behind. I told her I’d go for the free nipple graft to achieve a flatter appearance. It was also suggested I could skip nipple reconstruction entirely and just get nipples “tattooed” directly onto my chest.

She told me I was “a good candidate for surgery,” and put me on the surgery wait list. She said that the wait time was between three and five months, but a cancellation could move me up to a sooner date. Also, if I wanted surgery as soon as possible, I could tell the surgery scheduler that I’d be willing to have any of the other three surgeons perform my mastectomy. Outpatient top surgery would cost me a copay of $100.

They contacted twice, in February and March, notifying me of cancellations. If I had accepted and shown up on those dates, they would have removed my breasts. This would have been less than five months from the time I first contacted Kaiser to inform them of my new “nonbinary” gender identity.

How Far Can I Go?

I decided to see how easy it would be for me to get approved for a phalloplasty. Known euphemistically as “bottom surgery,” phalloplasty is the surgical creation of an artificial penis, generally using tissue from the thigh or arm.

I sent an email on March 1, 2023, requesting to have a phalloplasty and concurrent hysterectomy scheduled alongside my mastectomy.

Two weeks later, on March 16th, I had a 16-minute phone call with a gender specialist to discuss my goals for bottom surgery and obtain my referral.

During the call, I explained to the specialist that I wasn’t sure about taking testosterone anymore because I was already quite athletic and muscular, and that taking testosterone didn’t make much sense to me. Instead, I wanted bottom surgery so that I wouldn’t feel like my “top” didn’t match my “bottom.” I told her:

But what I really wanted was to have bottom surgery. So this way when I have my top surgery, which sounds like it could be very soon, that I’ll be aligned, that I won’t have this sense of dysphoria with one part of my body and the other part feeling like it matched who I am. So yeah. So I just did a little bit more research into that. And I looked at the resources on the Kaiser page for the MST clinic and I think I know what I want, which is the hysterectomy and then at the same time or soon after to be able to have a phalloplasty.

I told her that I wanted to schedule the top and bottom surgery concurrently so that I wouldn’t have to take more time off work and it would save me trips to San Francisco or Oakland, or wherever I had to go for surgery.

None of this gave the gender specialist pause. After a brief conversation about some online resources to look over, she told me that she would “submit the referral now and we’ll get this ball rolling.”

Bottom surgery would cost me a copay of $200, which included a couple of days in the hospital for recovery.

Phalloplasty Surgical Consultation with Nurse Coordinator

On May 16, 2023, I had a short surgical consultation with a nurse coordinator to go through my medical history. This was similar to the consultation for top surgery but included information about hair removal procedures for the skin on my “donor site” that would be fashioned into a makeshift penis. They also went over the procedures for determining which donor site—forearm or thigh—was more viable.

After only 15 minutes, she submitted my referral to the surgeon for another surgical consultation.

On May 25 I received an email from my phalloplasty surgeon’s scheduler, informing me that they have received my referral and are actively working on scheduling, but that they are experiencing delays.

I ended my investigation here once I had the referral for the top and bottom surgery. I never used my testosterone pump.

Final Thoughts

In fewer than 300 days, based on a set of superficial and shifting thoughts about my gender and my “embodiment goals” triggered by the mere mention of “gender” in a form letter from my primary care physician, and driven by what could only be described as minor discomforts, Kaiser Permanente’s esteemed “multi-disciplinary team” of “gender specialists” was willing, with enthusiasm—while ignoring mental health concerns, history of sexual trauma, and rapidly escalating surgical requests—to prescribe life-altering medications and perform surgeries to remove my breasts, uterus, and vagina, close my vaginal opening, and attempt a complex surgery with high failure and complication rates to create a functionless representation of a penis that destroys the integrity of my arm or thigh in the process.

This describes the supposedly meticulous, lengthy, and safety-focused process that a Kaiser patient must undergo to embark on a journey to medically alter their body. No clinician questioned my motivations. No one showed concern that I might be addressing a mental health issue through radical and irreversible interventions that wouldn’t address my amorphous problems. There were no discussions about how these treatments would impact my long-term health, romantic relationships, family, or sex life. I charted the course. The clinicians followed my lead without question. The guiding issue was what I wanted to look like.

No other medical field operates with this level of carelessness and disregard for patient health and welfare. No other medical field addresses issues of self-perception with surgery and labels it “medically necessary.” No other medical field is this disconnected from the reality of the patients it serves.

Kaiser has traded medicine for ideology. It’s far beyond time we stop the ruse of considering “gender-affirming” interventions as anything approaching medical care.

This isn’t the first time Kaiser Permanente has been in the news for completely disregarding medical safeguards in the name of “gender-affirming care.” As girls, Chloe Cole and Layla Jane became convinced that they were born in the wrong body and were actually boys on the inside. Doctors at Kaiser ignored their underlying conditions and instead prescribed testosterone and removed their breasts. Both Cole and Jane have since detransitioned and are currently suing Kaiser.

The fact that children and vulnerable adults are being exploited in this massive ideological experiment is not just tragic; it’s deeply disturbing, especially considering it has evolved into a billion-dollar industry.

I hope that by sharing my story, I can bring more focused scrutiny to the medical scandal unfolding not just at Kaiser but also at medical centers and hospitals across the Western world. These institutions have completely abandoned medical safeguards for patients who claim to be confused about their “gender,” and I aim to awaken more parents and assist them in protecting their children.

This is completely insane.

Apologists online are running around saying, but she didn't mean it, she was lying, she was pretending...

It doesn't matter.

Any kind of security, penetration or integrity test is insincere too. When security researchers compromise Microsoft's operating system or Google's browser or whatever, "but they didn't mean it" is not a defence to a discovered security flaw. It doesn't matter that the security researchers didn't plan to steal data or money or identities. The flaw in the system is there regardless.

It doesn't matter that it was insincere. Because the workers didn't know that. They never checked, never asked questions, never tested. They had been taught and instructed to never ask any questions. They did what they were supposed to. And the system failed spectacularly. Because that's what "gender affirming care" means.

Additionally, the claim that Beth Bourne committed fraud is an outright lie. A patient cannot bill. They do not have the authority. The medical clinic is the only one that can bill, and they must supply a diagnosis and a medical necessity.

If they didn't diagnose her and just wrote down what she said, then they committed fraud. If they claim they did diagnose her, then they committed fraud, because the diagnosis they concocted was bogus. This, by the way, is actually going on. Clinics are reporting fake endocrine and other disorders to get blockers, hormones and other interventions. Jamie Reed and other whistleblowers have documented evidence of this. Beth Bourne is not responsible for what the clinic does. They have medical licenses and legal responsibility. Not her.

Additionally, anyone who actually read the article would know how she tested the system. She said things like, "I've always been not that feminine. So, maybe I get my boobs removed." And they said, "sure." Instead of saying, "wait, why do you think that?" Framing it as her lying is itself a lie. They violated their ethical obligations. That much is incontrovertible. And it's directly the result of "gender affirming care," where clinics and clinicians rubber-stamp anything deemed "trans" based entirely on ideological, not medical, grounds.

#Beth Bourne #undercover #undercover investigation #gender identity ideology #queer theory #nonbinary #non binary #top surgery #bottom surgery #double mastectomy #bilateral mastectomy #gender affirming care #gender affirming healthcare #gender affirmation #affirmation model #medical scandal #medical malpractice #medical corruption #religion is a mental illness

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otdiaftg · 5 months

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Thank you

Dear AFTG Fandom, Friends, and Family:

To say that it has been a tremendous honor would be an understatement. I am immeasurably proud of what this account has become and it’s due to every single one of you. Your passion for this account was the driving force at the end and I can’t thank this fandom enough for being a rock in the storm of all of this.

I began this account as both a love letter to a story that has consumed me since I was first introduced to it, but it was also created to prove that I could sustain something for this long and this intensely immersive. During this past year alone I have been dealt hands that were not always the best, but this account kept me above water, even through the many sleepless nights. It energized and empowered me through all of your retweets/re-blogs, likes, and comments.

I also want to highlight and thank all 40 artists that gave me permission to share their incredible work. The scenes came alive due to their immense talent and exceptional hard work. Every artist was kind and considerate, incredibly understanding and just as invested in this project as I was. I truly can’t thank them enough for their trust and support.

Thanks also need to be delivered to my wife and best friend who, without their constant push and patience, none of this would have happened. They were my first followers, my biggest fans, and were Abandoned so many times during the course of this and yet encouraged me to keep going. Maybe now we’ll finally have time to play all those games we’ve downloaded over the last year :).

I also want to thank Nora for…. so many things. For the creation of this story, for the encouragement when this account became so big YOU even saw it, and for becoming a dear friend in the process. You’ve been an inspiration throughout this in more ways than I can say.

And finally, I want to once again, thank all of YOU. The followers, the commenters, the re-posters, the veteran fans, the new fans, the obsessed fans, and the casual ones. Fandom can be such an intrinsic and beautiful thing. Pulling people together and bringing a life to these characters through our own individual experiences. We are all our own Foxes in a way, tied together with the understanding that second chances are immeasurable and the family we make are the best ones of all.

You gave this account a shot. And for that I am eternally grateful.

you were amazing.

🦊 🧡- Kelysium

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zafetycar · 8 months

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what i was made for - LN4

⭐︎ lando norris & singer!female!reader - social media au

⭐︎ one in which lando norris' partner gets nominated for an oscar for "best original song"

⭐︎ warnings: ⏀

⭐︎ word count: ⏀

next part ⭐︎

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thank you for liking "what was I made for" so much, it's a piece i'm very attached to. also sorry it made you cry that much haha. it was the point.

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user1 I didn't cry I BAWLED MY EYES OUT LISTENING TO THIS SONG😭😭😭

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maxverstappen kelly and I went to see the movie, it was amazing to hear your song! congrats!

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dualipa amazing to share this experience you babe 💖

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text: "to say I'm proud is an understatement. I love you darlin', you are such an incredible woman"

barbiethemovie

liked by dualipa, theacademy, yourusername, taylorswift and others

tagged: yourusername

barbiethemovie we are so incredibly honoured that yourusername has been nominated by theacademy for best original score with her heart-shattering song "what was I made for" !

thank you so much yourusername for creating this beautiful piece to complete this movie !

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user4 OMG OMG I love this song so much im so happy she deserves it🧡

user5 ugh not her again

⌞user6 lmao get tf outta here

yourusername 🩷

⌞user7 MOTHER

⌞yourusername kid

⌞user7 OMFG

landonorris

liked by danielricciardo, maxfewtrell, yourusername and others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris not a day goes by in which you don't amaze me darlin'

you are such an incredible, amazing woman. and you make me laugh more than maxfewtrell which is odd as much as it is amazing. I love you more than your favourite love song could describe it.

congratulation on your oscar nomination (I mean not the first one so who's really surprised but), you deserve it so much. can't wait to see you create more "crying, throwing up, ripping my hair off" pieces!

can't wait to celebrate with you all night tonight (please hurry up I've been waiting for you all day I can't hold on any longer)

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user8 my fav driver and my fav singer ✨

yourusername thank you love 🤍

liked by landonorris

yourusername i sent you pictures did you not see them ?

⌞landonorris I did not see them

⌞yourusername check your msg

⌞landonorris fucking hell baby

liked by yourusername

⌞user9 rue what is this

oscarpiastri you do know this conversation isn't private right ?

⌞landonorris yes and ?

⌞danielricciardo oscarpiastri i've tried before it's no use

yourusername

liked by francisca.cgomes, sza, landonorris and others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername london, what a night !!! thank you thank you thank you so much for celebrating the nomination with me !!! this is all thanks to you ! thanks for setting the room on fire, looking forward to do this again ❤️‍🔥

madrid, better get ready ;)

thanks landonorris for the cool pics you took (you look hot af all sweaty), thank you for your support (especially when i'm too tired to ride) and your love (gimme the physical now please), thank you for everything <3

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francisca.cgomes such an icon

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user10 estamos listos !!!

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user11 apparently she sang wwimf ???

⌞user12 yes she did omg we got a surprise song

landonorris what a show babe (come take a shower with me please)

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user13 YESSSSS OMG best moment of my life I heard wwimf live !!!🩷

user14 getting to hear what was I made for live was my therapy 🥹

⌞user15 bro it broke me even more

lewishamilton thanks for the invite, I had an amazing time ! bless you queen 🩵

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carlossainz55 can't wait to see you in madrid rockstar💃 !!!

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user16 QUEEN

user17 is nobody gonna talk about how they just basically have sex on social media ??

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liked by landonorris

ps: this is my very first time creating a social media au, i hope i did it good, if you have any tips let me know !

note: hi! thank you for reading this piece, i hope you enjoyed it ! feedback is very much welcomed :) see you around ★

#lando norris #f1 x reader #f1 smau #lando norris x reader #lando norris fluff #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #lando norris smau #ln4 #ln4 x reader #ln4 fic #ln4 imagine #ln4 fluff #ln4 x you #lando norris imagine #divider by cafekitsune #zafetycar

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russo-woso · 13 days

Text

Good game || Mary Earps

Request | Masterlist | Prompt list

Warning smut 18+, cunnilingus

Summary Mary treats you after a good game

“You played such a good game, love.” Mary said as you both walked through the front door.

Manchester United had won 2-1 over Chelsea, taking United to the final of the FA cup.

Scoring the winning goal and overall, having a great match, you ended up with player of the match and to say Mary was proud, was an understatement.

“That’s the fourteenth time you’ve said it now.” You told her, smiling at her.

“I know. And I’ll keep telling you until you believe me. Or instead of telling you, I could show you.” Mary suggested, a slight smirk on her face.

“And how would you do that?” You said, playfully, stepping closer and closer to Mary.

“Let me think. Making you scream my name as you come on my tongue?” Mary whispered, leaning in so your lips were on a few centimetres away from touching.

“Sounds good to me.” You breathed out, making the final step in connecting your lips.

You moaned into the kiss due to Mary squeezing your ass.

Mary picked you up and led you to the kitchen, resting you on the countertop.

You broke the kiss to take your shirts off, Mary’s lips attaching themselves to your collarbone.

As she was kissing your chest, her fingers fumbled with the hem of your pants, eager to take them off.

Lifting you gently, she slipped your trousers and panties off in one.

“Fuck, you look so gorgeous.” Mary mumbled, placing her lips on your inner thighs.

“Mary…” you moaned as her tongue skimmed over your clit.

“I know, baby. Just be patient.”

Mary’s lips surrounded your clit, sucking gently.

“Fuck, mary.” You said, grabbing her hair.

“Gonna show you how proud I am.” Mary muttered, her tongue fucking you.

You looked down to see Mary’s hands gripping your thighs to keep them in place.

Her veins were popping out, her biceps flexing.

The sight itself could’ve made you cum.

“Such a good girl for me.” Mary told you, the vibrations sending wave of pleasure through your body.

“Mary, fuck, I’m so close.” You managed to breathe out, Mary sucking harder at your clit.

“Gonna cum for me?”

“‘m gonna cum.”

With a cry of her name, your orgasm washed over you.

“Fuck, I know how proud you are now.”

#woso #woso x reader #woso community #woso imagine #womens football #woso fanfics #mary earps smut #mary earps x reader #mary earps

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sweetblossomsss · 2 months

Text

Into you || Jeong Yunho

Synopsis: Your husband, who was a deceitful piece of shit, unfortunately is someone who is high of status which means danger comes easily. But when Yunho was hired as your bodyguard, you felt something inside of you change. You were fighting with fire trying to explore what this relationship with Yunho could be.

WARNINGS: nsfw, swearing, reader’s husband gets physical by grabbing her face, drinking, crying, yelling, angst, happy ending, unprotected sex, smut, The character Jae is based on no one, just picked that name, toxic relationship with husband, divorce, throwing a object, tbh I’m sure I’m missing some just lmk.

Word Count: 40K. (If I remember correctly)

Blossom’s Notes: Hello my petals! I definitely had a blast writing this story. As I was watching Ariana Grande’s Into You music video it inspired me to write something similar to it. This is a long one so cozy up, grab a drink and popcorn and enjoy your read. Let’s get into it.

Started: May 29, 2024. Finished: July 28, 2024.

“And I just want to say, thank you to my beautiful wife.” Your husband, Jae, says as he smiles at you. The light shining on you, giving you a spot light. You smile back. “Without you, I don’t know where I would be right now. I love you so much.” He says as he sniffs those crocodile tears up.

You’ve gotten use to his bullshit and lies. The whole banquets clapped for your husband as he smiled for the cameras holding up his plaque. He’s a renowned technology entrepreneur, who is known for his innovative software solutions. His company, a major tech company, is getting recognized for its ground breaking achievements tonight.

He walks down the stage, shaking people’s hands, thanking them as he walks to you. He gives you a kiss on the lips, hugging you. “Show some more affection, would you?” He whispers in your ear, making it seem like he whispered sweet nothings to you. You smiled, as you held his cheek, trying to make it a sweet moment for the cameras.

How badly you wanted to slap him and clean the floor with his ass. You two sat down, thanking the people in your table for their compliments. You couldn’t wait to get home, get out this tight dress, and take the night off with a nice hot bath and alcohol.

“So Y/N,” An older woman says, catching your attention, “You must be very proud of your husband.” She smiles at you two as you reached over and placed your hand over Jae’s, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. “Words truly can’t describe how proud I am of him. He deserves it all.” You said smiling at him. Ugh, please.

Jae cleared this throat. “I’m truly a lucky man. I meant what I said when I said I don’t know where I would be if it wasn’t for her. She’s been my everything through all the hardships.” The way he looks at you and speaks which such love about you, tugs a bit on your heart strings.

You won’t lie, this has been rough. Even then that’s an understatement. You both started this journey with not even able to afford a bed frame. Jae was putting hours in and out for his company, busting his ass to get to where he’s at now. It is true that you kept him sane and composed throughout it all. He leaned on you every time he let his frustration consume him and wanted to throw everything away.

Sometimes you fantasize about the what if. What if you did let him give up? Maybe all the money, glory, and fame wouldn’t get to his head. Something within him switched and you could never figure out why or when it did. If you’re wondering why you stay, well, truthfully speaking even you don’t know yourself. Maybe a part of you is holding on to the what use to be. Hoping Jae goes back to how he was.

“It’s beautiful to see a relationship like this.” The woman said. She dabbed her mouth with a napkin after she had a sip of her champagne, “Pardon if this is wrong of me to ask,” You felt the mood change within the table. “But I saw those threats online. How are you both feeling?”

Oh my mistake, did I forget to mention that you have been receiving threats? Due to your relationship with Jae, you have become a target for people who are against Jae’s business, along with some fans of Jae who aren’t too fond that your his wife. But what has your loving husband done with this information every time you bring it up? Nothing.

The other people in the table agreed talking amongst themselves whispering how they were terrified for you or were worried something bad would happen. “Oh, trust me, we aren’t taking the threats lightly,” Jae said, reassuring the people at the table.

You could’ve sworn you hurt your neck from how fast you snapped to his direction wondering who the fuck is “we” and why “we” all of sudden started caring. “We are currently trying to find the culprits as well as hiring a bodyguard for Y/N.”

Your mouth dropped. You were in shock. For MONTHS you’ve been begging and pleading for some form of protection but he always dismissed your feelings. Guess when other people speak he will do anything to save face his reputation.

He gives you a small face signaling to fix yours. “Oh-Oh, I’m just so shocked,” you said as you put a hand on your chest, “I- um- I didn’t know he was getting me a bodyguard.” You fumbled with your words, giving a small smile to the people at the table to save your reaction.

“Oh, what a good man you have,” the woman said. She grabs her champagne raising it in front of her. “A toast,” she says as everyone, including you two, raise your glass. “To the newly renowned entrepreneur.” Clinking with Jae before you downed that drink knowing you’re in for a long night. You can’t wait to get home.

_______

Finally you two arrived home, no one saying a word to one another. Jae loosening up his tie and taking his jacket off as he walks to the bar. You closed the door, walking to lean on the wall as you take off your heels. You carried them in your hands as you headed up the stairs.

“It would be nice if my wife would give a fuck about my award.” He spat in venom as he poured himself a drink, watching your figure go up the stairs.

You stopped half way on the stairs, making a creaking sound on the wood as you turned around. “Are you serious?” You scoffed. “Your wife is exhausted of playing pretend tonight, husband. I’m going to bed.” You turn around, wanting to just get comfortable and out of his presence.

He slams the cup down, liquor spilling out. You roll your eyes. Oh, here we go again. “Pretend? Are you fucking kidding me? After all I fucking do for you? For us? You’re gonna treat to me like this?” He yells as he spreads his arms out in front of him, leaning on the counter top, glaring at you.

You let out a laugh, slowly going down the stairs, staring at him with a smirk. “For us?” You asked tilting your head to the side in amusement, dropping your heels. “No, Jae, just for you. You’re just a self absorbed arrogant piece of shit.”

That set him off because he was coming in heavy steps, flaring his nostrils, eyes full of anger as he walked up to you grabbing your face. You yelped in shock, digging your nails into his wrist. “You don’t get to speak to me like that.” He spat at you, tightening the grip.

“Admit it. You don’t give a fuck about me. All you care about is your status and how you look on the outside to others.” You said breathing heavy as you try clawing his arm away from you.

“That’s not true. You know I care for you.” He said. His actions obviously say otherwise. You finally shoved him off of you. He stumbled a bit trying to find his balance. There was a moment of silence looking at each other before you spoke.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. Why does it take for other people to speak up about what’s happening to me in order for you to do something? You listen to them instead of me?” You felt tears dwelling up as you fumbled taking off your engagement ring and throwing it at him. “Your wife?”

The ring hit him on the chest, bouncing at bit as it made impact with the floor, not that he cares about it either way. “You know that I was caught up with work, business meetings-“

“Everything but me. You just needed to hear other people talking about the threats to validate my feelings, huh?” You cut him off with tears streaming down your face. You were just fed up with all his excuses.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “I was making sure that you weren’t just you being paranoid!” He yells.

You scoffed in disbelief, is he serious right now? “Paranoid? You think I’m being paranoid? You think it’s great living in fear?” You asked him, watching him walk to the bar.

He pours another drink, giving his back to you. “We are doing it now so what’s the matter.” He says nonchalantly.

You sniffed as you wiped the fallen tears. “What matters is that my own husband who vowed to love and protect me doesn’t do anything of the sort.” You said as you shook your head in disappointment and anger. Seeing that he just gave up on this conversation, you just left and went upstairs.

Jae isn’t even phased one bit. He doesn’t bother looking back at you as you leave, not even feeling a tad bit remorse. He just leans his body over the counter, entertaining himself with the cup moving the liquor around, hearing the ice cubes clank against the glass.

He then suddenly feels a vibration in his pocket. He takes his phone out to see someone texted him what he was doing tonight. He chugs the rest of the drink, grabbing his car keys and slamming the door shut as he heads out.

As you’re getting undressed in the bathroom, you turned your head to the sound of the door closing. You sniffed as you wiped your tears with the back of your hand. You’re not stupid, you know he’s probably off to go party and screw some woman. Not the first nor the last.

You watched as the hot steam fogged up the room. Turning to the mirror, you wiped it as you stared at yourself. This isn’t you. You deserve better. You touched your face as you see the tiredness in your eyes, stress written all over your face. Soon the mirror would be fogging again causing you to look at your reflection fading.

You walked to the tub sighing in delight, feeling the slight burning sensation of the water relaxing your muscles as you stepped in. You slowly got in, letting your body adjust to the temperature. You leaned your back on the tub, closing your eyes letting the bullshit of night get out of your system into a peace of mind.

________

A few days have passed and tension still lingers between you and Jae. But here you are, standing in his spacious, sleek office, gazing out the floor-to-ceiling window that overlooks the city getting ready to meet this so called bodyguard Jae has hired.

When he told you he had found someone, you felt the weight of the world come off your chest. Finally, you get to breathe and not have to constantly be looking over your shoulder anymore. The sounds of Jae’s rhythmic typing filled your ears as you stared at your wedding ring, wearing it just for display for photos. You sighed as your attention turned to the view before you.

Suddenly a knock on the door caught your thoughts as you turned around to see who it was. “Come in.” Jae said not even bothering to look up. “Sir,” the receptionist said as she peaked in, “Mr. Jeong has arrived.” Jae looked up at her pausing mid-type, nodding his head as he stood up. “Bring him in.”

You walked and stood next to Jae as he is straightening his clothes, buttoning up his suit, preparing to meet him. “Let me do the talking,” he says, adjusting his tie. “Maybe now I won’t have to worrying about your safety every second.”

“Since when have you ever been worried about my safety to begin with?” You shot back at him with anger in your eyes.

Right when he was about to say something the door opens. Everything went silent when this tall man walked in. You were momentarily stunned at how handsome he was. He was just oozing with quiet confidence in every step as he approached you both. “Good evening, I’m Jeong Yunho.” He greets himself, deep voice ringing in your ears. Wow.

Yunho extends his hand out to Jae and he returns it with a firm shake. “Nice to meet you. I’m Jae and this,” he wraps his arm around you, “is my wife, Y/N.” He smiles at Yunho.

The urge of breaking his arm off of you is hard to fight but you push through it. “It’s very nice to meet you Mr. Jeong. Thank you so much for coming in today.” Although you feel irritated towards Jae, you gave a genuine smile to Yunho.

He extends his arm out to you. “Please, the pleasure is all mine. And please call me Yunho.” He gave you a small smile as he shook your hand. Wow, he is very handsome. Not just that, but the energy he was radiating when he walked captivated you in some sense.

Jae clears his throat putting his hands in his pockets, noticing your longing stare. “Yunho comes highly recommended. He will make sure you’re safe now.” He said in a serious tone.

“Im sure I will be.” Your tone coming off a little sarcastic as you smiled at Jae causing him to force a smile as his eyes sent daggers to you. “It really means a lot that you’re here Yunho.” You turned your attention back to him.

He nodded, giving a small smile. “Of course. It’s my job. We’ll go over your daily routine and set up a security plan tailored to whatever you need.” He said putting his hands behind his back as he spoke.

“Just make sure she’s protected.” Jae said with slight attitude towards Yunho. You gave him a look that said shut-up. “I’m sure he knows what he’s doing Jae.” You spat back at him.

Yunho sensed the tension between the two of you. He was eying your body language. Keeping a keen eye at the way Jae held your arm and you trying to remove it from his grip as he harshly whispers something into your ear causing your expression to turn angry.

“It’s alright. I understand where he’s coming from,” Yunho said calmly, trying to ease the tension. “My only goal is to protect you without intruding on your personal space. Whatever you need, just let me know.”

You nodded at Yunho’s words. “Well, if you excuse me,” Jae said as he looked at his watch, completely ignoring what Yunho said. “I have a meeting to get to. Make sure she gets home safe.” Jae said as left the room, but not before looking Yunho and up and down as if he’s a threat.

Once you hear the door close, you let out a sigh trying to release the frustration within you. “Yunho, I’m so sorry about Jae. He’s just very… difficult.” You apologized.

Yunho shook his head, giving you a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry about it. My focus is on you, not him.” He told you. Oh, what was that? Did my heart skip a beat?

You feel a rush of warmth covering your heart with his words, feeling your heart do a leap. It was the way his words spewed sincerity with his intense gaze throwing you off guard. It felt like it stirred up something in you and it was just the first time meeting him.

But besides that, you kind of felt overwhelmed, but in a good way. Feeling some tears creeping in, you sniffed a bit, “Sorry, it’s just- It’s been a long time coming. Ive been waiting for this for a while. You have no idea how clear I can breathe now.”

Yunho looks at you with compassion, “I know it’s a lot to take in, but I promise I’m going to be here for you at every step.” He reassures you as he pulls out a handkerchief for you to dry up your tears. You thanked him as you grabbed it from him, patting your face dry.

“Why don’t we go over your daily routine? The more I know, the better I can protect you.” He said smiling slightly at you, trying to take your mind off of the overwhelming thoughts. You let out a soft okay as you two sat down at the sofa.

You two spent an about an hour or two going over the entire outline of your routine. The places where you like to eat, favorite places to shop, like to hang out, just the usual places. He listens intently as he takes notes, asking questions to clarify some details, nodding his head as you kept talking. “And, well, that’s pretty much it,” you chuckled nervously, “sorry it’s that’s a lot of information.”

He shakes his head, “Not at all. It helps me to know as much as I can to ensure your safety.” He closes his notebook tucking it inside his suit pocket, standing up. “Well then, let’s get you home, yeah?” He asks as he extends a hand out to help you stand from the sofa.

You take his hand as you stand up looking at him. “Yeah, let’s go.” And with that you lead the way out the office and out the building. Because of the news of Jae winning an award, paparazzi were outside his building wanting to take photos and ask questions. And of course he would eat up all that attention.

As soon as you stepped outside, you were bombarded with questions, crowd closing up on you. You covered your face with your hand as flashing lights from the cameras were blinding you from seeing where you were going. Yunho had brought you closer to his chest, shoving people out the way, yelling at them to move.

He held a finger to his ear piece. “Prepare the car.” He said as he held you tightly. When the crowd opens up a way to the car, you see more security guards creating a barricade for you to get in the car. Yunho opens the door for you and helps you inside closing the door quickly.

He rushes to the other side of the car and gets inside. “Let’s go.” He tells the driver as he taps the driver seat. The driver books it out of there as you stared out the window, watching as you get further and further away from the paparazzi. You leaned your head back and close your eyes, feeling at ease. Something you haven’t felt in a long time.

_______

To say you were happy beyond words is an understatement. Yunho has been there at your beckoning call, very attentive when people are in your surroundings, he can read you like an open book at this point. It felt good getting some normalcy back. However one thing is still unresolved, your marriage.

Yunho has definitely seen the bad and the ugly when it comes to you two. The screaming matches, the silence between one another, you name it he saw it. You felt so ashamed and embarrassed to be doing all that in front of Yunho, but he always reassured you that it was okay and that he was here for you.

And tonight just so happens to be one of those nights. Tonight is an important conference for Jae and as always, he’s on edge. He had a drink in his hand, tapping his foot impatiently as he looked at his watch.

“Y/N, we have to go. Come on!” You heard Jae yelling from downstairs. You roll your eyes, applying the final touches to your makeup. You stepped back, admiring yourself as you spritz yourself with perfume.

You set it down and ran your hands down your dress, turning a bit to the side to see how you looked from behind. You smirked at yourself, Damn I look good.

You took a deep breath and let it out as you started walking down the stairs. The creaking of the stairs caused Jae and Yunho to look at your direction causing them to freeze up at your presence. You just looked so breathtaking. Yunho eyes never once left you as he walked towards you to help you down the last couple of steps.

“You look beautiful, Ms. Y/N.” Yunho complimented as you stepped in front of him, turning so he can help you with your silk shawl. You gave him a small thank you, adjusting your shawl around you.

Jae looked at you up and down before finishing his drink. “Let’s go.” He said, placing his cup down as he walked to the door. “We are going to be late.”

____

Arriving to the conference, as soon as you stepped in servers with drinks on a silver tray offered you champagne. You happily took one while Jae went off on his own to the bar to get something else to drink. Yunho just declined by raising his hand and followed you to the reserved table.

Once you spotted your name, he helped remove your shawl. The mixture of his slight touch mixed with the fresh cool air hitting your exposed skin gave a chill down your spine. He took out the chair for you,“If you need me, I’ll be right over there, okay?” He leaned down, whispering in your ear as he pushed the chair in for you.

The hot breath you felt in your ear gave you goosebumps all over, making the little hairs stand at your neck. “Okay.” You said softly as you nodded at him, clearing your throat. Feel like a little hot all of a sudden.

You watched him walk away as you bite your lower lip. Why am I feeling like this? But soon the devil himself would take you out of your thoughts as he got into your view taking a seat next to you. “Remember, act happy and don’t look so miserable.” Jae reminded you for the 20th time that night.

“Oh, sweetie, how can I when I’m with you?” You gave him a fake smile to which he returned one to you. When people started arriving at your table, his focus immediately shifted to them. You gave a small talk and smiles as the night when on.

As Jae was chatting up amongst the people at the table, you sighed in boredom. You grabbed your champagne taking small sips, your eyes roaming around the room. But you know who you were looking for. Your heart stopped when you saw those eyes were already looking at you.

It just felt like it was just you and him in this large crowded room. The dimmed light casting a mysterious look on him. You felt yourself getting lost looking at him. You can hear your heart beating with curiosity and excitement. Something in the way he looks at you makes you feel giddy inside.

He raised his eyebrow, almost asking if anything was wrong. You saw how was getting ready to walk but you smiled and shook your head. You placed the champagne down, turning your attention back to the table getting ready to play husband and wife when you heard Jae call for your attention.

______

Time has passed but the function is still going on. Jae and you stand amongst fellow CEOs, talking about their respective companies as Jae has a possessive grip around your waist. You try your best to hide your discomfort as you try to keep up with the conversation.

“So gentleman, as you can see,” Jae says as he takes a sip of his drink. “NexTech has been known for its unprecedented growth. Plus with our innovative strategies and unmatched resources, we will be dominating like no one has before.”

“Very impressive, Jae. The vision for your company is quite ambitious.” A CEO nods in approval. Jae chuckles as he grips you tighter. You slightly wince at the touch, knowing he’s getting drunk and can’t control himself.

“But of course it is. After all, I wouldn’t settle for anything less.” He said in an arrogant tone, chuckling.

You tried shifting away from him, but it was no use. He had a death grip on you. “Yes, Jae has always been ambitious.” You forced a laugh. You gave Jae a pointed look, signaling for him to loosen up the pressure.

But of course, he ignores you. All his attention is on the CEOs in-front of him. “Oh and who’s the lovely lady? Is she your assistant?” Someone asks, eyeing you with curiosity. Really man? You fought the urge to not roll your eyes.

“Oh no, she’s way more than that,” Jae chuckles, “This is my partner, Y/N, in every sense of the word. Although, between us, she’s not much help when it comes to the business side. Just a pretty face to show around.”

You look at him with widen eyes, feeling shock and humiliation. You can sense the mixture of pity and amusement from the CEOs as they look at you. In that moment you felt so small. You cleared your throat, “Excuse me.” You said as you removed yourself from his grasp, quickly walking away from them.

“Women, right? Can’t take a joke.” Jae sarcastically says as he takes a sip causing a laughter amongst the group.

______

Shoving the door of the banquet open, the loud noise of the chatter and music from the room fades away as the door closes behind you. Your heels echoed in the hallway as you desperately tried to find some sort of exit, feeling suffocated and humiliated.

After turning down some halls, you came across this French door that upon opening revealed to be a beautiful roof top garden. You sniffed as you sat down on the stone bench that was there, running a hand through your hair as you sobbed.

You shouldn’t be shocked at this point, you know that. But you just can’t help how you feel. Why must he be such an asshole. You sat there replaying the moment in your head. “I feel so stupid..” you said as you leaned your face into your hands as you cried.

Meanwhile back in the banquet, Yunho whose eyes never left your sight, saw you running away. He exchanged a look with Jae that was full of disappointment but quite frankly Jae could give a fuck about it. Yunho just knows that Jae did something to fuck this up.

As Yunho stepped out of the room, he looked all over for you. He was jogging down the hall but stopped in his steps once he saw that some doors were open and as he got closer he heard someone crying. When he stepped out, he saw you in your broken state.

As he approached you, the gravel under his feet made some noise but you were too caught up in your emotions that you didn’t hear foot steps approaching you. “Y/N?” He crouched down in front of you.

You jumped a bit not expecting to see anyone. “Oh my- Yunho, I’m so sorry,” you sniffed, wiping your face with the back of your hand. “I just- I- I’m sorry.” You sighed in defeat. “I don’t mean for you to see me in such state.” You said you turned to the side trying to compose yourself.

He doesn’t say anything as he stands up and takes his jacket off and he wraps it around you. You look up at him with puffy eyes and watched as he turns to the side and plucks a beautiful bloomed rose. “Here’s a flower for the woman whose beauty outshines any garden there is in life.” He says as he sits down next to you, tucking it gently in your hair.

You let out a small chuckle, touching the flower in your hair, “Thank you Yunho, that’s very sweet of you.” You say slightly nasally from the crying as you looked down. Feeling shy and embarrassed because you’re sure you look like a hot mess with your makeup all messed up.

“I mean it.” He says softly. He takes a minute then sighs. “May I ask a personal question? And apologies in advance if I have overstepped.” He asks you as he stares at your sadden state. You nodded, not even looking at him. “Why do you stay with a man who treats you like this?”

You take a deep breath, looking at him. “It’s complicated… We have been together for so long.” You sniffed, your voice was barely above a whisper. “It wasn’t always like this. He use to be so different.”

“But now?” Yunho asks as he listened intently, his expression softened at the sight of you.

“But now… I don’t know,” you looked down as you gripped Yunho’s jacket around you. “I think part of me stays because I hope he returns to being the guy he used to be to. Plus there’s so many other factors to it. Leaving isn’t as simple as it sounds.”

Yunho nodded in understanding. “While I do understand you, I just think you deserve someone who will treat you like the woman you are. It’s not worth crying over him.” He said turning your head to face him as he wipes your tears. The words he spoke ached your heart because it was the truth.

“You sure know how to make a girl feel good about herself, huh?” You chuckled at him causing him to laugh as well. His laugh was like music to your ears. He barely showed any emotions but when he did, it was a sight to see.

“Just doing my job,” he smiles. “But in all seriousness, you’re stronger than you think you are.” He says standing up, having the moonlight shine on his figure giving him that mysterious look from earlier.

You stood up as well, “Thank you for your kind words Yunho.” You said looking up at him. Suddenly the wind picked up a bit, causing you shiver. “Let’s go home, I’m sure his drunken self won’t even notice I’m gone.”

He nodded as he held his arm out for you to grab. You happily took it, feeling a bit tipsy from all the champagne you drank. Plus the crying didn’t help much. And with that you two left the building and headed home.

_____

You leaned your head against the window, watching the city lights has Yunho drove you both home. The drive was nice and quiet. You had told Yunho to take a different route because you honestly just didn’t want to go home.

But good things come to an end and here you are pulling into your driveway. You sat up in a surprise, feeling your heart quicken when you saw that Jae was home. “He’s home.” You muttered.

Yunho gave you a concerned look, “You want me to stay?” He asked seeing a bit of fear coming into your expression.

You nodded. “Yes. But I’ll handle it first, if anything happens I’ll call you.” When Jae had too much to drink, he was just so unbearable. You just know he was angry with you leaving so this combination of anger and liquor forms a knot in your stomach. But you were a strong woman who takes shit from no one.

You entered the house as saw no other than Jae sitting on the sofa, with a drink in his hand glaring at you. “Where the hell were you?” He slurred as he took a sip.

Yunho helped take off his jacket you still had on. “Yunho please give my husband and I a moment to talk.” You sarcastically said as Yunho nodded and left the room. You stood there arms crossed staring at him.

“Im going to ask you once more,” Jae said placing his drink down and walking to you. “Where the fuck were you?” He demanded.

You scoffed, your eyes turning icy, “Why? Afraid you couldn’t play pretend husband and wife? Afraid you couldn’t embarrass me to make yourself feel good about yourself?”

“Oh please,” Jae spat. “Again you go making it about your damn self. You embarrassed me with your dramatic walk out. Everyone asking what happened or where you went. You know tonight was important for me but no, you had to act like a damn bitch.” He yelled as he got way too close to comfort but you didn’t back down.

You pursed your lips, “You humiliated me Jae. Degrading me and saying I have done anything for this company when you know that’s completely bullshit. I’m fucking sick of you!” You yelled at him.

He let his anger take over as he grabs your neck and the his hand on your arm. “You don’t get to speak to me like that. You think you’re so much better than me? You wouldn’t last a day in my world.” He tighten the grip on both hands.

You were struggling to breathe as you dug your nails into his arm. “I know enough to understand that I deserve better than you.”

He laughed. “You need me. You never find anyone else. No one will ever want you, Y/N.” He spat with venom.

“Jae,” you said trying to remove his hand. “Jae you’re hurting me. Let go of me!” You yelled out in desperation.

He titled his head in fake sympathy, “Oh, why? You’re afraid? Scared even?” He taunted you.

It all happened so fast. Suddenly you felt like you can breathe again. You hunched over, hand on your neck as you coughed trying to regain your consciousness. When you looked up, you saw Yunho with his hand around Jae’s neck. His eyes were filled with rage, as if he has had enough of Jae’s bullshit.

“Don’t fucking touch her.” Yunho’s deep voice rang in the room. Jae was getting a taste of his own medicine as Yunho tightened the grip. “What a sad excuse of a man you are to be laying your hands on a woman.” He spat at him.

Jae stumbled trying to gain his balance as he tried his best to remove Yunho’s grip. “Stay the fuck out this,” he struggled to protest. “This is between my wife and I.”

Yunho towered over him, getting up close to his face. “Not when you’re hurting her.” He said watching Jae’s face turn red as he shoved him to a wall nearby.

“Let go of me!” He yelled at him. Yunho let him go, still standing close watching him fall to the floor, breathing heavy. Jae looks up at anger getting up to shove Yunho, “You think I’m fucking scared of you?!” He yells at him, chest heaving heavily.

“Touch her again and I’ll make you regret it.” Yunho said glaring into Jae’s eyes. Jae will never admit it, but deep down, he was scared of Yunho. He fucked around and found out right quick.

You grabbed Yunho’s arm. “Yunho, it’s okay.” You say weakly, still feeling the pain in your throat. But he didn’t budge at all eyes remaining on Jae. Jae just laughed bitterly, “Yeah, Yunho it’s okay,” he mocked you. “You better watch yourself, bodyguard.”

“Is that a threat?” Yunho asked, his voice was low and menacing getting closer to Jae who walked back causing him to bump into the wall.

Jae tsked and glared at Yunho. “Move,” he shoved Yunho as he walked to the stairs. “This isn’t over Y/N.” Throwing one last spiteful comment before heading up the stairs.

Watching his go up the stairs as you felt tears coming in. When you heard the door close you closed your eyes letting the tears stream down. Yunho put his finger under your chin gently tilting your head up examining your neck. “Are you okay?” He asks.

“That piece of shit.” You whispered as you felt on the verge of sobbing. “I’m so sorry Yunho.” You said, you looked down at the ground. You couldn’t help but feel remorse. Maybe you shouldn’t never brought up security, you could’ve saved Yunho his time.

Yunho cups your face, lifting your face to look at him. “Stop saying sorry.” He said firmly but kindly. “I’m here to protect you. No matter what.” You nodded as you sniffed, “Thank you Yunho.”

Jae never once laid a hand on you. But once the drinking and high status got into his head, there was no telling what he was capable of. He had gotten handsy with you, but you were always quick to fight back. You never thought you would need protection from your own husband.

“Of course. I’ll always be here for you.” He said giving you eyes of compassion. You couldn’t help but to hug him. If it wasn’t for him, who knows how else this night would’ve turned out. Yunho took a moment but eventually wrapped his arms around you, figuring that you needed someone to lean on right now.

____

The conference was a blessing in disguise because Jae had gotten the approval to open another location in a different state which means he will out of town for a while. Good riddance, you thought. Prior to leaving he was busy with meetings for the preparation of the new building, rarely seeing him after the dispute.

When you walked into the kitchen you saw a huge bouquet of flowers in the island. Grabbing the little note on the flowers, ‘I’m sorry for everything. Love, Jae.’ Feeling anger seeping in, you ripped the card to pieces throwing his half ass apology away. Staring at the flowers, you decided to keep them. Why should nature be thrown away when it wasn’t even its fault, it was his.

Now that Jae is gone, the sun is shining brighter, your smile lasts a little longer, the air feels clearer. It’s a good time to be alive. During this time you have been able to do the activities you enjoy in peace. Which naturally has gotten you and Yunho a bit closer.

One activity was shopping. When you walked into the store, your eyes sparkled with excitement as you saw the variety of clothes that was before you. Yunho, who had a serious expression the whole time, followed you around with a mountain of clothes that just kept piling up as you saw something that you wanted to try on.

When it came time to trying the clothes on, you would ask for his opinion and you can tell he was taking it serious and you couldn’t help but burst out into laughter. You stepped out the dressing room, seeing Yunho who was sitting on the sofa, legs spread open with his arms crossed waiting for you, looking to the side waiting for you.

Oh shit. He looked absolutely fine. Shaking your head, getting out of your thoughts you cleared your throat. “What do you think about this one Yunho?” You asked as you did dramatic modeling poses laughing a bit, doing a little twirl to look at the dress fully.

He sits up straight, his arm propped on his leg as he leans his chin on his head, eyebrows furrowed. Oh, he’s really thinking about it. “It’s not giving.” He said serious.

You stopped looking at yourself in the mirror and turned to face him with a playful look on your face, “It’s not what?” You asked, on the verge of laughing.

“It’s not giving…” he pauses, struggling to find a word to describe what he means. “I don’t think this on brings you out well. I think you should try on another dress.” He said as he turns to pick out a different dress handing it to you.

When he notices you staring at him with a smile on your face he shrugs. “What is it? What?”

You laugh as you grabbed the dress and headed to the dressing room. “I didn’t think you were a fashionista.” You smiled at him before closing the curtain. Little did you know, he smiled in secret enjoying this time with you. So this is how it is when you’re happy.

Another activity was when you went to the grocery store and just arm swiped a whole shelf of cookies into the cart Yunho was pushing. “Oh, the ice cream!” You said as you went to the frozen aisle. Yunho sighed as you went back forgetting something yet again. You wanted to pig out as you watched cringey cheesy movies which was right up your alley, Yunho not so much.

“Oh my god, why would she do that!” You yelled at the TV as you covered your face feeling second hand embarrassment from the actress in the movie. You sighed grabbing a spoon full of ice cream and eating it, “She messed up.”

“Yeah she did.” Yunho said flatly dreading that he agreed to watch these movies with you as he had his arms crossed. But you didn’t care as you tapped his arm pointing to the cookies near him, your eyes never leaving tv. “Pass the cookies please.” He sighed as he grabbed and passed them to you.

But honestly, although the hates the movies you have been binge watching, he stares at you in admiration as you are fully invested in the films. You’re too blinded by the films to feel his stares as he smiles at you slapping your forehead in defeat.

To also having him help you in working out which you were dreading now. He had suggested for you two have a nice morning run. But damn, you were huffing and puffing as your arms were leaning on your thighs trying to catch your breath. You hated yourself for agreeing to this.

He saw you falling behind and jogged back to you, “Come on. Don’t you want to burn off those cookies and ice cream?” He asked you jogging in place to keep his body warm.

“Shut the fuck up.” You said through your heavy breathing causing him to laugh at you. “I hate you.” You said getting back up and jogging ahead of him. He followed suit giving you words of motivation which caused you to grunt in annoyance. “I’ll throw up on you!”

To having Yunho stay at nights since you’re alone now, worried if anything happens to you in the middle of the night. As he walks past the living room, he sees that you fell asleep on the sofa. He smirks as he quietly walks to you, covering you with the blanket, tucking some hair behind your ear getting it out your face. He stops and stares at you for a bit, taking in how much you look in peace, something he was grateful for. He leaves, dimming the lights a bit and looking at you before leaving to another room.

_______

Time has passed and one thing stands out. These feelings for Yunho have grown no matter how much you try to push it back and deny it. You just tell yourself that this is just his job, you’re confusing his actions and your feelings.

You two are sitting on the sofa talking and laughing about random stuff. The way the afternoon sunlight hits Yunho’s face has you mesmerized, highlighting his features. The way the sun shines in his eyes as he looked at you got you in a trance. After the laugher subsided, he noticed that you went quiet. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Mm? Oh it’s nothing. Nothing.” You chuckled nervously. Damn, was it that obvious you went deep in thought?

But his gaze remained at yours as he asked again, not letting you dismiss your feelings quickly. “You know you can tell me anything right? You can tell me what’s on your mind.” He says.

You gave him a weak smile, “I don’t know if I can.” Your emotions sit heavy in your heart. You don’t think you can keep bottling up these feelings for him.

“Why can’t you?” He asks you. “It won’t change my judgement on you. You know you can talk to me.”

“You don’t know that.” You said, feeling a bit worried. “I don’t want to risk what we have.” You looked down, playing with a loose thread on your jacket.

“Why would you even think that?” He says softly as he gets a bit closer to you, wanting to get a better view of you.

You felt your heart pounding up to your ears. Feeling your palms sweaty. “I, um,” you started off, still looking down. You took in a deep breath, looking up into his eyes. “I’m in love with you…“ your voice trembling with vulnerability.

There was silence as you two stared at one another. Your heart was sinking, feeling regret settling in. You removed the blanket off you and stood up, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” You should’ve just stayed silent.

“Y/N, wait,” Yunho said in a low and urgent voice as he stood up and grabbed your arm. He turned you to face him and saw unshed tears in your eyes. He cupped your face and leaned his forehead onto yours.

He knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but he too can’t control his urges anymore. Without another word he leaned in and kissed you passionately. You held onto his wrists as you returned the kiss back. My god, you felt like time had stopped. You couldn’t believe this.

He breaks the kiss, panting a bit to catch his breath. “Y/N,” he says as he wiped your tears. “I love you too. So, so much. I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long.” He said in between pants, staring into your eyes.

“Yeah?” You whispered in shock. He kisses your hands as he nodded. “Yeah.”

It’s as if time had froze around you two, when you gently shoved Yunho to sit back down on the sofa. His eyes looking up at you with desire as you stand in front of him. “Come here.” He said to you, tapping his thigh, leaning back.

As soon as you straddled him, Yunho’s hands went behind your back, pulling you closer to him until there was no space between you. This kiss soon went from passion to hunger, wanting to express a different way to show how you feel for one another.

Yunho grabbed handful of your hair, tugging your head back as he peppered kiss down your neck, sucking on your skin leaving hickeys. You moaned in delight as you bit your bottom lip, enjoying this sensation.

And before you know it, you two are skin to skin, feeling the hot sweaty sticky bodies colliding perfectly. Electricity coursing through you body with every touch Yunho gives you. The way shivers went down your spine as he stretched you out when you first sat on him, letting you give him a high pitched moan.

The way your bodies melted into one another ignited a fire. The mixture of moans was melody to your ears. His hands were on your ass, helping you to quicken the pace of your hips, “Oh, oh Yunho,” you furrowed your eyebrows and threw your head back in pleasure, hands on his shoulders for support. “Fuckkk, you feel s-so good.”

Yunho stands up, carrying you as he’s still inside you to flip positions. He lays you down on your back and caresses your legs that are wrapped around him. “Fuck, keep doing that baby.” He grunts as he feels you clenching around him. He moves his hands between your chest and up to your neck, “Can I?” He asks for permission. “Yes, please.” you moaned as you arched your back throwing your head back.

He gave your throat a nice squeeze as he started pounding into you causing you to do some deep breathing techniques, because this man was spreading you out like never before. You threw your hands back, gripping the arm chair for dear life. “You like that baby? Who’s making you feel like this?” He asks you. Fuck, that was hot.

He lifts your legs up to get a deep angle, “Answer me.” He demands as he goes faster. You tried gripping the sides of the sofa or just something to hold on to, “Y-Yes, Yunho, you a-are.” You moaned loudly. He was taking you cloud 9, making you see stars, the whole nine yards.

He flips you around on to all fours. You leaned on the arm rest with your arms supporting you as Yunho grabbed your hair back making your arch your back. He wasted no time going back in, his free hand rubbing your clit, giving you the friction you needed to cum.

“You want to cum on my dick, baby?” He asked you lowly in your ear. You nodded frantically, “Yes please, please.” You begged as he bit your ear. He let go of your hair and flips you for the last time. He wants to see your face when you release on him.

“Cum for me then.” He says as he moves at a rapid speed. You bit your lip in the overwhelming pleasure you’re feeling. He had leaned down and sucked on your nipple, but looked up when he heard your muffled moans, “Scream for me, don’t be quiet.”

You gripped onto his arms, feeling yourself inching closer and closer to your release. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, Yunho I’m gonna cum.” You yelled out, breathing heavy. He lets go of your nipple and hovers over you, “Do it baby, cum on my cock, cum.”

Just like that the knot was undone. He kissed you as you moaned into his mouth. You felt like you had traveled to another universe from how good that orgasm was. A few seconds later Yunho was right behind you, cumming inside of you. He rode out both of your highs and then laid on top of you.

Feeling each other fasten heart beats as you both catch your breath. He looks up at you and smiles to which your return as you ran your hand through his sweaty hair, “I love you.” He said, closing his eyes enjoying your sweet touch.

“I love you too.” You said as you just laid there for a moment, taking it what just happened. Internally you were doing cartwheels and backflips. You were happy knowing he felt the same way you did.

______

All good things must come to a because Jae has returned, along with his bullshit. What was once peace is now back to being a war zone of arguments and anger. Something else was for certain, he definitely has sensed something was going on between you and Yunho and it was eating him up alive.

And from the way the front door was slammed shut, it seems like he was going to get his answer today. “You. Leave. Now.” He says sternly to Yunho as he entered the room.

Yunho glanced at you, but you nodded in return signaling that it was okay. He started to walk out, giving you one last protective glance before disappearing. Jae’s eyes followed him out before looking back at you. “Y/N, tell me what the hell has been going on between you two.” He demanded.

You rolled your eyes, flipping through the magazine not bothering to look up at him. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.” You said coldly, your tone unwavering.

“I know something happened while I was gone so just fucking tell me.” Jae yells at you, his fist clenching at his sides.

You looked up at him, “and if something did?” You shrugged “You think it gives you the right to be angry with me, given everything you have done?” You said with attitude as you went back to your magazine.

Jae’s face contorted with rage, shaking his head. “This isn’t about me. This about you, my wife” He says coming up close to you. There he goes with that wife word.

You chuckled, throwing the magazine to the side standing up. “Only when it’s convenient for you Jae. Why? Scared of losing control of this whole fake facade?” You walked past him, over this argument.

He grabs the vase that held the flowers he gifted you and threw it to the wall. You jumped at the sound, turning to face him with widen eyes. His back was still facing you as Jae looked down. From your corner you saw Yunho coming but you put your arm out for him to wait.

“Fucking tell me and don’t lie to me Y/N.” Jae said as he turned around with rage in his eyes. Knowing that Yunho was here in the house, he kept his distance from you as he was terrified of him.

“I’m in love with Yunho.” You finally said after some silence. He shook his head and scoffed at you, “How fucking could you? You would this to me?”

You scoffed at his stupidity. “Oh, so now you want to act like a victim? How many times have you cheated on me behind my back Jae? How many woman? So when the tables turn, it’s an issue all of a sudden.” You crossed your arms, raising an eyebrow.

He gets closer to you, trying to intimidate you. “So what? You’re just going to leave me and be with the bodyguard? Do you honestly think he can give you what I can’t? You think you can just walk away from me? After everything I have done for you?”

You laughed in his face. “For me? For me?” You started off, “You mean your own personal punching bag? Where I’m constantly disrespected and treated like an accessory? Where I’m always ignored and you go screw some bitch? The only thing you have done was to teach me to never be with someone like you.”

“If you think you’re going to work out with some cheap fling then you’re more delusional than I thought.” He spat at you as you walked away from him.

“Cheap fling? Yunho is more of a man than you will ever be. He’s been everything and more to me than you ever were.” You stopped in your steps, facing him.

You looked down at your rings and take it off. This caused Jae to die a little inside. “I want a divorce.” You chucked it at his feet, leaving the room. Jae looked down at his feet and stared at the rings causing anger to boil inside him to the point he punched the wall.

As you passed the hallway, Yunho, who was ready to jump in at anytime, follows behind you. “Let’s go.” You told him as you grabbed your car keys and walked out the door.

Asking no questions, just focused on you, he opens the door for you and just as you are about to get in, you hear Jae yelling in frustration, telling you to get back inside as he starts breaking stuff. You rolled your eyes as you got into seat. Yunho walked to the driver side and drove off.

———-

The car ride was silent, only noise was the AC that was on low. You looked out the window, watching the cars passing by. “I’m getting a divorce.” You said out loud breaking the silence.

“Wow,” you said in awe of yourself. “I’m getting a divorce.” You couldn’t believe that it’s taken you this long and that you finally did it.

“How are you feeling? Are you okay?” Yunho asks as he takes a quick glance at you. He really can’t read your expression and words clearly right now.

“I think I am?” You said unsure, giving him a shrug. “I don’t know, I feel like I should be but I’m just so overwhelmed. Like, there were so many times I told myself I was done, but never did anything. And now I just- I think I feel free.”

Yunho stops a red light and reaches over to grab your hand. He raised it to his lips as he gave a gentle kiss on the back of it. “I’m really proud of you Y/N. Whatever you do next, I’ll be there every step of the way supporting you.”

The way you were blushing like a school girl at his gesture. You smiled at him, “Thank you Yunho. Thank you for showing me what love is.” You caressed his cheek as you leaned in for a kiss.

______

One thing is certain for Jae, he can rot in hell. He didn’t not waste any time in spreading the news about the divorce publicly. It spread like wildfire throughout the media as it was plastered on magazines, spoken on drama news TV channels, on social apps. You name it, it was there.

The headlines painted the picture of the split, highlighting the scandalous nature of the breakup. And Jae, being a beloved figure, wanting to keep the good man persona in the people’s eye, threw all the blame on you.

You were under so much intense scrutiny, that it became suffocating. You were portrayed as the villain in this whole chaos while Jae was viewed as the innocent victim. As if he could stoop any lower than before, he definitely broke a new record.

At first, you just tried toughing it out. Trying to ignore the whispers and gossip. The harsh looks when you went out. Paparazzi was so far up your ass you couldn’t move without them knowing. But it was hard to escape from the public’s judgement.

One evening, you were at Yunho’s place, which is where you have been staying, skimming through a magazine that had a featured about another headline of you. Yunho who had sense your distress, quickly takes the magazine out of your hands. “Y/N, look at me,” he says he sits on the coffee table, grabbing your hands. “You don’t have to let this get to you. They don’t know the true.”

You looked up at him with sadness in your eyes. “It’s not just about the truth Yunho. It’s about everything!” You stand up as you walked back and forth, “it’s about how this guy who I thought I knew and spent the majority of my life with is out to ruin my life. It’s about everyone quickly believing his lies… I didn’t ask for this. I can’t take this anymore.”

Yunho sighs as he walks up to you, cupping your face. “Listen to me, please,” he leans his forehead, “You’re a strong woman. You have been through hell and back. You have never backed down from a fight. You never once let Jae’s manipulation and bullshit break you, and you’re not going to let this either.” He said as he watched you close your eyes as tears fall down.

You sniffed. “How can I fight this?” You whispered. You honestly felt so lost and broken, you don’t even know what to do or where to start.

“You’re not alone in this. Out in the public you can put a mask of fierceness, show the world you aren’t afraid of what Jae is doing. Show them just how strong and unbreakable you are.” He gives you a tender kiss. “But when we’re behind closed doors, baby, you don’t have to keep the facade. You can lean on me. We can do this.” He says as he hugs you.

You felt like sobbing. Is this what true love is? Throughout this whole darkness, Yunho has been your rock and you honestly don’t know how you would be if you were alone. You’re so thankful for him. “Yunho, thank you. Thank you for being in my life.” You looked up to him as he leaned down and kissed you once more.

______

If Jae wants to play like this, then you can play this game too. After the conversation with Yunho, you felt a fire ignited within you. That conversation helped you remember who the fuck you were and there was no way in hell Jae was going to go out like this.

For the next few weeks you laid low. Out of sight out of mind with the public. Your divorce lawyer, who was sent by the Gods by a miracle, told you to gather all information on your part as she does some digging on her side. Today you were meeting with her and not gonna lie you were sweating bullets.

Who knows what she has found. Did she even find anything? Will she be able to clear your name and reveal who Jae really was? This was also one of the few times you left the house so you just know you were going to be bombarded with questions and cameras in your face.

As the car pulls up, you looked out the window and saw reporters spread all over the place, waiting for you. You then felt Yunho’s hand over yours, causing you to snap out your thoughts. “It’s going to be okay.” He reassures you as you nod. He steps out the car and heads to the other side to open your door.

You can do this, you thought yourself as you put on your shades. Show Jae that you are that bitch. As soon as Yunho opened the door, everyone came flooding in asking a bunch of questions.

You just kept a serious face, purse hanging on your arm as you walked up the stairs while Yunho and other guards of his were making way for you. You tried your best to not react at the stupid questions they asked you.

“Y/N, how does it feel to know that you ruined your marriage?” One asked.

“Was it worth it to you? Care to comment?” One said shoving a microphone in your face.

“Have you spoken to Jae?” Another asked.

Oh and let us not forget the special, special fans of Jae who were also surrounding you were throwing nasty comments at you.

“Don’t you know how to keep your legs closed?” One screamed in your face. You bit down on your tongue, trying not to answer.

“Such a slut. Did all those years mean nothing to you?” One went to jump on you but Yunho shoved her off.

“Have you no shame in bringing him here? Have you no shame in being in public with him? Stupid bitch.” Another one said speaking about Yunho.

You finally reached the door and headed straight to the elevator. When it binged open, you and Yunho stepped in and turned to face the crowd before you. Seeing the flashing lights of the cameras and crazed fans pounding on the glass, their yells being muffled. As soon as the doors closed, you turned and hugged Yunho.

You felt the world crushing in on you in that moment. You had a mixture of overwhelming emotions clouding up your head. Anger, sadness, frustration. You just wanted to cry in silence and thankfully Yunho understood.

You then backed up and wiped your tears, taking in a deep breath. Yunho lifted your chin with his finger as he gave you a soft kiss on your lips. “You got this.” He whispered and you nodded.

The elevator dinged, signaling that you have arrived to the top floor. You straighten up your posture, keeping your head high as you walked the halls. “Stay here.” You told Yunho who nodded and stood next to the door putting his arms behind his back.

You walked in and was greeted by Jina. “Y/N,” she says standing up and shaking your hand, smiling to which you returned. “Welcome. Thank you for coming.”

You shook your head. “No please, I am the one who should be thankful.” She gestures you to sit down. “So tell me, what have you found?”

She wasted no time in take out files and spreading out copies of documentation and photos of Jae with other business men, “Jae’s time of looking like a saint is over. We have found evidence to that showcases all of the cheating and unethical practices within his company,” she starts off as she goes through each paper, describing to you all the horrible practices he has done.

You sat there in shock, taking in the information. You couldn’t believe this was happening everyday behind closed doors. Jae gets scummier and scummier by the minute. You leaned back into your seat letting out a scoff as you scan the papers. Jina then takes out a paper and hands it to you, “What’s this?” You asked her as you take it from her hand.

Jina smirks as she crossed her leg over the other, leaning back crossing her arms. “Signed affidavits of several woman who have confirmed that they have had affairs with Jae while he was married to you.” You looked at her with widen eyes. The devil works hard, but Jina works harder. “Look in that folder.” She points to one near your left arm.

You gasped looking at photos that had Jae partying or going out with women. You see his drunk self doing body shots on girls as well as inappropriate gestures to them. Ugh, you could throw up. Jina nodded as you looked through the pictures, feeling a bit proud of herself.

“And the Cherry on top?” There’s more? “We also have evidence from Jae’s company, NexTech, has been doing fraud, bribery, and exploitation of employees. Let’s just say he has been cutting some corners and violating labor laws to maximize his profits.” She finished off.

You shook your head, just flabbergasted at everything you’re finding out. “Jina,” you said after a moment of silence. “There are no words to describe how thankful I am. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.” You said feeling a sense of hope rising in your chest.

She leans over the desk, placing a hand on top of yours. “Of course.” She smiles. “It’s only a matter of time before everything is unraveled. Everyone will know the real truth.”

______

It was later on in the night. You were pacing in Yunho’s living room with gnawing on your thumb in nerves. “Y/N,” Yunho called to you as he leaned against the wall, arms crossed. “Relax. Everything will be okay.” He says trying to calm you down.

You were just caught up in your mind that you didn’t even hear him. Jina told you she was going to release the information tonight and honestly, you were shitting bricks wondering what the out come will be. You felt arms being wrapped around your waist, causing you get out of your thoughts.

“Y/N,” Yunho says as he leans down and kisses your neck. “Why don’t we go relax, mmh? You had a stressful day.” Peppering kisses up and down your neck.

You closed your eyes as you bit your lip, swaying a bit, lifting your hand to caress his head. “Okay. Let’s relax.” You sighed softly. He takes your hand gives you a little twirl, causing you to chuckle, before leading the way to the bathroom.

Steam was swirling in the bathroom as you two passionately kissed under the water. Both of your bodies lathered up with soap, foaming at the little friction you two created. You bit his lower lip, opening your eyes in a haze to look at his face scrunch a bit from the pain. You felt your heart race a bit when he opened his lustful eyes to look at you.

He glided his up your back, tugging your hair gently back causing you to moan in his mouth. Your arms over his shoulders, feeling the warm water slide down your arms and onto Yunho’s body. His free hand slides to down to cup your ass, giving it a squeeze.

In a swift movement, he presses you up against the foggy glass. Your hand prints and pressed up breast showcasing on the glass, turning your head to the side looking at Yunho stroking himself through your peripheral. You bit your lip, feeling your pussy throbbing, impatiently wanting to feel him again.

He placed his hand above yours as his other one guides him inside you. You gasped as the sensation of the stretch, leading more on the glass as the feeling takes over you. His free had placed on your hip as he starts thrusting into you.

The sound of the water clashing between you two intensifies as Yunho starts going faster. The bathroom is filled with the sounds of skin slapping and the moans of pleasure. “You feel so good baby.” Yunho said in his deep voice. “Just for me, right?” He grabs your hair, pulling you back so he can see your fucked out face.

You swallowed, feeling your throat dry from the heavy breathing you’re doing. “Ye-Yes,” you said, feeling your hands slip, trying to catch yourself from falling. “Just for you.”

He smirked as your struggle. “Good girl.” His deep voice made you clench on him, making him moan as letting go of your hair to your clit as he rubbed it. You caught yourself before hitting the glass as you started screaming in pleasure. You started whimpering from the rapid speed he was going. “Cum baby, I know you want to.” He tells you.

You fogged and defogged a spot on the glass that was near your mouth as you tried catching your breath with Yunho shoving your face into it. You shut your eyes tightly as you were nearing your high. “I’m clo-close.” You managed to moaned out. At the same time you and Yunho came, feeling stars as he rode out the highs. “That’s right baby, scream for me. Let everyone know who’s making you feel like this.” He grunts out.

When you two calmed down, you turned around and leaned on the glass, not caring how cold it was. He smiled at you, “Feel better?” He asked you and you playfully hit his chest. “Shut up.” You told him as you both laughed. He put his hands next to your face on the glass and he went for a kiss.

When you actually finished showering, you stepped out scrunching your hair and wrapping a towel around your body, tucking the excess at the top to stop it from falling. From the corner of your eye you saw your phone light up. ‘Turn on Channel 2’, read Jina’s text message.

You gasped with widen eyes as you ran out to the living room, feeling the goosebumps rise on your skin as soon as the cold hits your skin. You grabbed the remote flipping through channels not caring about the droplets of water that were falling from your hair were landing on your arms.

“In recent news, Jae’s public image continues to crumble as more details emerge about his affairs and the unethical practices at his company. It is confirmed that these allegations are supported by fundamental evidence,” the reporter says as the screen shows Jae shoving cameras out his face as he is trying to enter a building. He starts yelling at them to get out his face.

“Former employees have provided detailed accounts of the harsh working conditions along with the illegal activities at Jae’s company.” The documents being shown on the screen explain detail per detail on how things were being run.

“Furthermore, details of Jae’s extramarital affairs have also been revealed,” she says as the same photos you saw in the office appeared on the screen too. Your heart is pounding out of your chest. “Multiple woman have come forward and shared evidence along with sources who can confirm his involvement in said acts.”

The reporter finished off by saying, “Legal experts believe this is going to be leading to very serious repercussions for both his business and personal life. As of right now, this is all we have. Stay tune for future updates.” You watch as the screen changes to commercials.

“Y/N?” Yunho who was there behind you the whole time watching everything unfold breaks the silence. “Are you okay?” He asks you.

You turned to him, smiling. “It’s over. I’m free.” You said feeling tears of joy coming in. He extends his hand out and you happily grab it as he pulls you to him. “I’m proud of you. I told you that you could do it.”

“Thank you for being by my side every step of the way, Yunho. I love you.” You say as you kissed him. He smiles into the kiss, “I love you more.”

“Now come on, let’s celebrate.” He says he breaks the kiss. You tilt your head, “Where we going?” You asked him. He smirked as he picks you up bridal style, “It’s best if I show you.”

Oh yeah, you can get use to this.

THE END

#ateez scenarios #ateez #Yunho #yunho x reader #jeong yunho #yunho smut #ateez yunho #yunho x you #yunho x y/n #ateez fic #ateez fanfic #ateez reactions #ateez hard hours #Yunho ateez #yunho icons #yunho hard thoughts

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nelissecrectplace · 1 year

Text

Refuge

previous | part 3

word count: 3.7k

language: Tsahík- spiritual leader, Muntxate- mate / wife

description: To say you were happy about new arrangements would definitely be an understatement, yet somehow people’s word still struck you to your core. Little did you know a certain na’vi would put those too rest with three simple words. Fluff fluff and fluff.

“I seek the family’s approval too court Y/n”

Head shooting up you could hardly believe the words that had left his lips. Eyes wide you looked too Ao’nung searching for any hint of deception. Heart racing in your chest your shocked features soon twisted into confusion. “Why?” Although your voice was low it seemed too echo through out the mauri. The deafening silence flooding back in once your words had faded. Gaze moving from your father too you his eyes seemed too soften. Your body stiff and hands clasped together in your lap as you tucked your pinkie in. A habit he had seemed too have created. Ears tinting slightly purple the male looked around. It seemed all eyes were on him, waiting for an answer. “I am showing my intentions.” Taking a pause Ao’nung seemed to be searching for his words. Ronal holding a proud smile as her son spoke.

“I wish to make you my Tsahík. No other woman has made me feel this way, and I do not wish for you too slip from my grasp.” Feeling flustered at the peering eyes Ao’nung ripped his eyes away from you. Now facing your parents. “I will treat her better than any other sutor could. The gifts in the corner are all for Y/n and her family.” Feeling the weight of the situation the Nerves began too set in for Ao’nung. His tail swaying with anxiousness. All of your family’s eyes seemed too turn towards you as they studied you for answer. You could not seem too meet their eyes as you could not tear your eyes from Ao’nung. Hand covering your mouth a dark hue washed over your cheeks. You did not even hear the second part as his words repeated in your head like a broken disc. He wish too make you his Tsahík. You are the first na’vi he had ever wanted too make his.

Stifling a laugh at your expression Lo’ak was the first too voice his opinion. “I accept, I know her better than anyone, and my sister seems overjoyed.” Shyly looking too your brother he met your gaze with a close lipped smile. You could not contain the way your tail whipped with excitement at his approval. “I knew this was coming so I’m with Lo’ak.” Kiri voiced her opinion, shrugging her shoulders as if she was not stunned only a minute ago. “I am fine with it, hopefully there is no mal-intent.” Your eldest brother locked eyes with the na’vi. His yellow orbs staring daggers into Ao’nung soul with an unspoken threat. Eyes just as heavy Ao’nung looked at Neteyam. An underlying offense in his expression. “I do not have any mal-intent.”

“We’ll I think that settles it. Me and my wife also approve. I believe her siblings judgement is strong.” Processing jakes words a smile slowly made its way too Ao’nungs face . Oceans eyes immediately finding you. You felt your heart leap at this action a shy smile making its way onto your lips. Although your future had been decided for you, you did not feel any resentment. If anything your felt an overwhelming sense of love and acceptance as the dinner commenced. You could not seem to maintain eye contact with your future mate without your face heating up. Overwhelmed with the feelings you had tried so hard too suppress, the feeling you never thought would be returned. It seemed that the dinner had ended too soon your family soon leaving the mauri. Ao’nung eyes did not seem to leave your body as you stood, bidding his sister goodbye.

Seeing him walk over you felt your heart leap. Meeting his eyes you felt as if you could burst with joy. “Goodnight y/n” Tucking your one stray braid behind your ear his ocean eyes bore into yours. Brining your hand up too his you navigated it too your cheek slightly nuzzling into his touch. “Goodnight Ma Aonung.” Face flushing the male looked at you his pupils dilating. Eyes scanning your features he had no doubt in his mind he had made the right choice. Ao’nung was sure he had his future in his hands.

The next morning the you were awoken by the bustle of your home. lazily bring your body up you squinted your eyes attempting too adapt too the sunlight. Dazed and confused you struggled too set dream from reality. The memories of last night flooding in seeming as if they were a fantasy. “Y/n if you don’t want this can I have it?” Groggily blinking you processed Tuks words. Eyes traveling too the item in her hand you couldn’t help but let out a slight gasp. “Oh my Eywa.” Taking the bracelet out of Tuks hands you rushed over too the growing pile of materials in your family’s Mauri. Paying no mine too Tuks noises of disapproval you were too wrapped up in your own head. Mouth agape you scanned the amount of offerings brought too your mauri as the reality set in. A giggle erupted from your throat as you could help but embrace your youngest sister, spinning the twelve year old in the air. “I am being courted by Ao’nung!!” Shrill laugher filling the air the mauri was soon full of joy as Tuk mirrored your excitement, not quite sure why you were so hype, but she did not care.

“Looks like we made the right choice.” Body spinning too the entrance your eyes landed apon your father and brothers. The two younger ones carrying the remainder of the gifts as they entered. Placing Tuk down you threw your body into your fathers arms. A heart filled laughed rumbled through your fathers chest as he now spun you around. “Thank you daddy!” Wrapping your arm around your father he happily returned your hug. “Anything too make you happy baby girl.” A small smile made its way onto Jakes lips as he hugged you. Pride filling him with the fact that he had made you happy, that he had made the right choice.

“Not too be a vibe killer but sis…. you do know Ao’nung saw all that.” The humor in Neteyams voice was evident as Lo’aks giggles were already spilling past his lips. Pulling yourself away from your father you peer over his shoulder and sure enough the na’vi was there. A smug smirk placed apon his lips as he handed your father the items in his hands. “Morning y/n.” Hands clasping together you turn your gaze too the floor. The embarrassment of what he had witnessed slowly settling in. “Good morning” Almost muttering it you shifted your body weight from side too side.

“You kids get out of here ronal is expecting you.” Interrupting the awkward exchange your father ushered you out. Face heating up you took your place beside Ao’nung. Your heart seeming to rest at his usually pace around him as it beat against your chest rapidly. “I’ll walk you to the healing tent?” Voice rough the male smirk rested comfortable on his lips. Nodding your head softly you agreed. Pushing back your nerves you boldly took ahold of his arms. Your slim arm easily wrapping around his bigger one. Muscles stiffening under your hold his cocky demeanor slowly slipped away at your proximity. “You do not know what you do to me forest girl.” Finding your smaller hand he engulfed it with his. A warm feeling crashing over the both of you.

As the two of you walked to the healers tent it seemed that the village began to wake with your pretense. A chatter following behind you as the village gossiped. Ao’nung had never openly showed his affection no matter how many relationships he had been in so for him to be walking hand in hand with a na’vi sent shock waves through the village. It did not take long for your news of him courting you to spread like wildfire. You would not be surprised if by the time the two of you had reached the Tsahíks tent the whole village knew. Usually this would make a woman proud. Being claimed by a man so openly was suppose to be something a woman dreams of yet you felt none of that. You did not enjoy the gossiping that occurred after your arrival and did not wish for something about you to be in mouths of others. Sensing your unease Ao’nung squeezed your hands oceans eyes not tearing away from yours.

“You okay y/n?” Stopping a few steps away from the entrance of your destination he turned his body towards you. Your arm being ripped away from latching onto his. A sense of guilt seemed to build as you looked into his concerned eyes. You did not wish to dampen the mood over something so minor. “Of course.” Clasping your hands together you sent a small smile towards the male. Obviously not buying it his face seems to harden but the words never had a chance to leave his lips. Aggressively opening the tent Ronal announced her presence. “You are keeping my student from me. Arent you accompanying your father today? ” Crossing her arms the two of your turned to her. An annoyance plastered on Ao’nungs face as his eyes rolled at his mothers words. “Meet me after eclipse on the beach.” Words spilling out of his lips he pressed a hasty kiss to your forehead. “Of course” responding, your once dampened mood skyrocketd at the simple gesture as the na’vi ran off. Shyly looking too his mother she wore a similar smirk too her sons as she eyed you knowingly. “Come child, we must begin your preparation.”

𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅𓂅

Whoever said being a woman in a clans was easy, is a liar. For hours you were given examples and duties of tsahík and the list made your head spin. Not saying that these tasks would be overbearing but it definitely wasn’t light work. You could only thank Eywa the festivities and religious ceremonies were branched out the months. Now, sitting in front of foreign herbs you attempted to memories the names and affects. You only knew a minor amount of healing as you were a warrior alongside your brother in the forest. You tried to tie the Metkayina herbs to the ones you already had knowledge of. “Atla will be helping you I must step out.” Forcing you out of your mind Ronal commanding voice filled the Mauri. Eyeing the na’vi next to the woman you examined her features. She could not be much older than you, maybe around Ao’nungs age. Atla was beautiful standing taller than you she held herself with elegance and confidence with a smile. Rising to your feet you hurriedly greet the woman. “I am y/n”

“Oh please I know, you’re the talk of village!” Voice high pitch she spoke enthusiastically. Striding over to you. “Do not gossip the whole time. The future Tsahík must learn quickly.” Words stern Ronals words were commanding. Although she had her soft moments the thought of having her as a mother in law still sent shivers down your spine. It seemed that her intimidation did not have the same affect on Atla because as soon as Ronal form vanished the woman already had rumors spilling out her mouth. “Is it true you are pregnant ? How far along are you? People in the village are saying its the only reason he’s with a na’vi well……like you.”

“Excuse me?” Confusion and shock evident in your voice you looked the na’vi up and down. Processing her words your feelings soon turned sour. “I am not pregnant, and what do you mean na’vi like me” Poison evident in your voice you looked at the taller woman. “I mean, you are not metkayina and on top of that you’re not true na’vi.” You felt your stomach drop with her eyes as she examined your hand. Clasping them together you quickly tucked in your extra finger body language rigid and hurt. Your obvious signs of discomfort did not seem to affect Atla as she continue too speak as if this was a causal conversation. “The people just never thought he would chose an outsider and alien. There’s a bunch of theories going around since this morning but most think you trapped the poor boy. Did you seduce him?” Disregarding your feelings her eyes bore into yours. She did not seem to have a hint of remorse. The room seemed to suffocate you as you processed her words. Tears pricking the ends of your eyes as your emotions made it hards too breath.

“The people do not think I’m worthy?” Voice cracking you looked up to the female. Her eyes showed confusion at your question as her thoughts swarmed in her head. “I mean, not really, but look at you.” Her words were harsh as she motioned to your frame. “To be honest I always thought it would be me, I was pretty surprised that his parents let him chose.” Not being able to handle anymore of her rambling you rushed through the exit. Inside you knew a part of her was doing this out of jealousy acting all innocent and casual so you would be the dramatic one but you could not seem to care as you stormed out the Mauri. You knew your feeling of euphoria would not last long and people would talk, Ao’nung was to the future chief after all, but hearing the word so soon still hurt. Looking at it from an outside perspective it did make sense, Ao’nung should be with a real Metakyina.

That night you did not meet Ao’nung at the beach. Hell you didn’t even go back to your Mauri. Finding peace in the small forest on the island you hid yourself from reality and the hatefulness of the clans disapproval. Basking in the darkness of the forest you pretended as if you were home. Pretend that you were away from all this conflict for all the disproval you got for the sin of being born. You couldn’t help but wonder if things would be different if you had three fingers. Raising your hand into the sky a hatred grew as you examined the five fingers, cursing Eywa for allowing your soul to crossover into such a form.

To say Ao’nung was confused was an understatement. The male did not understand why you had not shown up on the shoreline. All the excuses in his head running out as eclipse turned too day. The male had dozed off on the shoreline awoken by the tide against his skin. His confusion soon turned to irritation as he gathered his thoughts. The na’vi was quick to set out on a search checking your family Mauri to no avail. They had simply said they assumed she was with him their worried faces telling no lies. His mother seemed to be a dead end as well. Ronals words being “She stormed out on Atla, Atla said it was because she was frustrated with all her tasks.” It was hard for him to believe her words as you were not the type to give up. Finally, the idea of the small forest in near the village struck his mind as he was quick to venture into the unfamiliar area.

Ao’nung had never been much of a land adventurer always sticking to the ocean. He saw the small forest as a place for the gatherers never setting foot in a place he did not have control over. To say he was wandering endlessly would not be a far stretch as he seemed to be lost among the tropical trees. Frustrated and hot his discomfort was unmatched. But, it seems his tireless search did not end up fruitless as his sights soon landed on your dark blue body laid leisurely agains a tree. Your hands worked slowly as you peeled a fruit with your knife. Meaningless humming filling the area around you. “Is this where you have been?!”

Jumping as his voice the fruit was quick to fall out your hand along with your knife. You felt your stomach drops as your eyes were met with a seeming furious Ao’nung. His shadow casting a shade over you as you looked up to meet his eyes. A familiar feeling of guilt and regret seemed to bubble up as you looked at the man the furrow in his eyes unrelenting. “I did not mean too-”

“What? Stand me up?” Voice dripping with anger he glared down at you. “I do not understand what you want.” His seeming angry tone cracked as he said his last sentence. A hint of hurt seeping through his frustration. “Do you even want me? Your actions are so contradicting I do not understand!” Anger slipping away it seems that his true emotions seemed to show. The confusion and pain evident in his tone. “Ao’nung, of course I want you.” Voice soft you rose to your feet. Attempting to place a hand on his shoulder. Harshly ripping away from your touched the na’vi looked into your yellow eyes. “You say that I was playing with you now look at you.” Seeming to come to his own conclusion the na’vi backed away. Heart racing in a panic at his retreating form you felt all your newly formed doubts spill to the surface. Your brain screaming a you to make him stay.

“No! You don’t understand! I simply came out here to recollect. Ao’nung, please.” Racing after him your hand gripped on his shoulder. Harshly turning around his ocean eyes bore into yours. “Ah yes and thats a perfect excuse for showing interest than running away!” Sarcasm evident in his tone his fist clench at his sides. “I just-“ A roll of his eyes seems to shut your right up. A lump in your throat slowly gathering as you felt him slipping from your grasp. “I do not want to hear it y/n”

“No! I only left because your clan does not wish to have me. An alien and outsider as a Tsahík? They do not want me Ao’nung. How could you want me?” Tears pricking the sides of your eyes the lump in your throat only grew as they escaped cascading down your face. “Who has said this?” Although the anger was still evident it was no longer directed towards you as his hand quickly cupped your face. “You have said these words as well you can not be mad at your fellow tribesmen.” Eyes flashing with regret his oceans eyes swarmed with many emotions. Remembering the harsh words that had left his mouth many time.

“I was a skxáwng. I have always wanted you even before I ever realized what these feelings are. Y/n you are meant to be my Tsahík. I do not care what words leave the mouths of the clan members they listen to me.” Softly wiping away your tears his calloused hand brushed against your cheek. Letting his body relax it seems that all the resentment flowed out. His impulsive feelings leaving alongside his assumed conclusions. Feeling the tension leave his body you could help but allow your heart to flutter at his words. Stepping forward you closed the distance between you and Ao’nung, seeming entranced by his very being. Your body did not seem to stop until you felt the heat from his chest only an inch away from yours.

Breathing rigged his ocean eyes scan you. Flashing between your eyes and lips. His self control withering away by the second. “They will always see me as an alien. No amount of power can change that.” Almost as if supporting your point you brung your hand up putting your four fingers on display. It was as if you were working against yourself on purpose, still not fully accepting you could be his. The invisible marks from his actions from weeks ago still seeping in. “Their opinions have no effect on me. I do not care what they see.” Turquoise hand wrapping around yours his color engulfed your hand. “I see you y/n”

His touch burning you looked into his eyes. The breath from your lungs taken away. “I can not breathe without your presence y/n. You do not have to say it back but please do not push yourself away from me I-“ Stoping the mans nervous rant you could not help but crash your lips into his. His hands dropping to rest on your hips. You could taste the saltiness of your tears but it seemed neither of you seemed to care refusing to break the connection. Pushing down the burning of your lungs your pressed your hands against his chest pushing the male until back hit a bark of a tree. An amused hum came from his throat as he pulled away his normal persona taking no time to come back as a smirk rested upon his lips. Chest heaving you seemed to drown in his eyes struggling to catch your breath. “I see you Ao’nung.”

Heart fluttering at your words Ao’nungs ears seemed to shoot up. His once smirking face morphing into a genuine smile. “You will be my muntxate no one will stop that.” Voice stern and determined the male seems to be reassuring your doubts with his eyes holding no lies. A small sigh breached you lips as you rested your head on his chest. Your slim arms wrapping around his waist in a soft embrace he was quick to return. “I will not run away again. I will seek my refuge with you ma Aonung.” A purr coming from his chest the male could not be happier as held you in his arms. A sense of peace washing over the both of you as all the difficulties disappeared. “I will always be here for you my forest girl.”

a/n- I am soo sorry this took so long my summer has been busy! I hope you enjoyed the ending of this little mini series hopefully I did not kill your expectations!!Personally i really enjoyed writing it and hope you loved reading it just as much. 🫶🏽

tags: @yeosxxx @atwow69 @misscaller06 @lynbubble @heart-an0n @jarofer @lovethefruitman @elegantkidfansoul @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @neteyamssbaby @coldlamaspersonspy @optimisticsandwichgladiator @lemonmoonmochi @sully-stick-together @chxrrybobaby-sin @abysshaven @nilrilie @ok-boke (srry if i missed you)

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rose-pearls · 7 months

Note

Hiiiii i really love your work and was wondering if i could request a clarisse x daughter of Athena fic where (tw: sh) the reader has some control issues/is a bit of a control freak and sh to feel in control and clarisse finds out and helps her find some healthier coping mechanisms— idk like sparring or screaming at broken spears😂 if you’re not comfortable with this no worries— just thought i’d ask. have a great day!!!

Hi! Thank you for your request hopefully you like the way I wrote it! It is a bit short but I have kind of a writer block these last few days, but I am working on the requests I received (thank you so much for sending them)!

Main Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187, @kmc1989, @nyx2021, @thestarspangledcaptain

Percy Jackson Taglist: @niktwazny303

Clarisse La Rue Taglist: @peanutbelley, @abbersreads

Warnings: Self-harm, talking about doing it!!!

It wasn’t easy being a daughter of Athena, your mother was seen as the Goddess of Wisdom, and she always excepted perfection from her children. Some of her children managed to make her proud while others tried their whole lives only to have her ignore them as they hadn’t accomplished what she had expected them to.

To say you where someone stressed would be an understatement as you always found yourself wanting to control everything, practically losing your mind when you couldn’t control it. You learned to take control through small things, such as eating things in a certain way, that you only wanted to come out even numbers when you did something or the way you had to have every decoration perfectly centered. These were small things that everyone noticed but there was one thing that you hadn’t showed, too afraid of someone telling you that you are weak and that you aren’t a real daughter of Athena. You knew it was bad, from the first time you did it till now, taking that small blade from under your pillow to cut a small line across your skin. People couldn’t really see it, unless they really played attention to it, but you had always been careful. It was like doing it kept you in control of yourself and allowed you to focus more and be better. But it quickly became addicting, that grounding pain keeping you away from your mind running a thousand miles an hour.

You didn’t know what you were going to do when Clarisse would want to go further into your relationship, as the scars had always been hidden behind layers of clothes. Deep down you knew she would find out one day, but you just wanted to push it away for as long as you could, not wanting the brave Ares girl to see you like this. Only she learned it much faster than you could have imagined.

“What are you doing?”, you hear someone whisper and you turn around to find the door you thought locked wide open with Clarisse standing there. She looks pained at the sight of the small blade and your naked skin covered in small scars.

“Nothing,” you whisper, trying to quickly put your clothes back on but a soft hand stops you.

You look at her but as you are expecting her to be looking at the scar, she looks at you with sad brown eyes.

“Are you self-harming?”, the word is said so quietly that you barely hear it, but it still makes you flinch. You never wanted to say the word, thinking that if you didn’t it wouldn’t make it as important as it is.

“I do,” you whisper softly, not able to lie as she looks at you with tearful brown eyes. She looks even more pained at the words before getting closer to you.

“Can you let me disinfect the cut and put something on it?”, she asks, and you can only nod as she sits you back down and starts cleaning up the cut carefully. It is only when she finishes that you both find yourself in a long silence.

“You can always come to me when you need to talk. Please just come to me when you think of doing this, I don’t want you to hurt yourself,” she whispers and you nod slowly, even if you did it you knew it was a hurtful thing to do.

“I just, I can’t stop,” you whisper, and she closes her eyes at the words, pain etched over her features.

“I’ll help you stop; we will find ways to help you cope without doing this,” she tells you and you nod slowly at her words, unable to figure out if you would ever really be able to stop doing it.

“I-I know it will be hard, but I will be there right by your side helping you. You can always come to me when you feel the need to do it,” Clarisse whispers as she holds your hand tightly, she seems scared that you are going to refuse her and not try to stop.

“I’ll try, but I can’t promise anything just yet,” you whisper, and she nods quickly, there is a certain understanding in her eyes.

“That is completely normal, I don’t except everything to be alright in a second. Take your time,” she says softly, and you nod before you trying to blink the tears away at her reassurances, but even as you try not to let them fall, they slide down your cheeks. Clarisse doesn’t say anything as the tears fall down your cheeks, she just brings you into her arms and hold you tightly. And if you feel tears against your hair, you don’t say anything, you just hold her tighter.

It isn’t that easy to stop, you knew it wouldn’t but having Clarisse by your side helps. She tries to find new ways with you to cope with your control issues, but it seems you don’t manage it the same way as her. She is more used to taking a sword and destroy a dummy while you look at the sword with disdain, rather wanting to plot the attack and using a dagger. But you find that baking is the solution, following a recipe and watching it all come together manages to keep yourself together and your mind away from things. It doesn’t solve everything, but it helps putting some thoughts away and focusing on something else. You don’t know how it comes that you are so lucky to have Clarisse by your side, but you cherish every second you have with her and her wide smiles as you put another baked treat in front of her.

#percy jackson x reader #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse x you #clarisse pjo #clarrise la rue #clarisse x reader #clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x you #clarisse x female reader

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twilighttowayvision · 4 months

Text

NSFW ALPHABET - VESSEL 💘

HI OKAY SO!!!! let it be known that i do not and cannot write to save my life but the horny parasites within me simply demanded this of me so i had to listen to them

fair warning — i am absolutely feral over this man!!! vessel in my head is GROSS and KINKY so don’t say u haven’t been warned!!! (saying that i am feral for this man is the understatement of the century actually but i just don’t have a better word!)

very nsfw thoughts under the cut 🫡

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❥ A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex):

• vessel would be so fucking soft with you after sex i just know it.

• extremely cuddly, pulls you close to him, hands running over your body, stroking your hair, giving you soft little pecks all over your face.

• if you’d had a particularly intense scene he would absolutely check in with you afterwards, seeing what you liked, if there was anything you didn’t like. your favourite parts (he would absolutely tuck this knowledge away for later to drive you crazy in the future).

• would be more than willing to get you anything you needed after so you didn’t need to move a muscle. would wrap you in a soft blankie, get you water/snacks, would hold you and hum sweet tunes to lull you to sleep.

• would be absolutely BURSTING with praise for you afterward (also during and just like, always, but we aren’t talking about that right now!!). “you did so good for me, baby. i’m so proud of you.” “such a good girl for me.” “you took me so well, darling.”

❥ B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s):

• his favourite of his own? has to be his toned chest and stomach (we’ve all seen the way this fucker shows it off — there’s no way it’s not his fave).

• fucking loves when you run your hands all over his torso, will absolutely walk around shirtless and smirk when he catches you ogling him.

• his favourite of yours? your lips/mouth, without a doubt. no one will ever convince me ves does not have an oral fixation.

• is obsessed with kissing you, feeling how soft your lips are against his.

• loves the way your lips feel on his skin as you kiss all over his body.

• just about cums in his pants when you put his fingers in your mouth and suck on them.

• swears when you suck his cock that he’s died and gone to heaven, can’t stop staring at his cock disappearing past your lips, will burn the sight and feeling into his memory for the rest of eternity.

• has to stop himself from pouncing on you when you do something as simple as pouting at him when you don’t get your way, or giving him a particularly sweet smile.

❥ C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically):

• this man cannot get enough of his cum all over/in you i just fucking KNOW it.

• not a wasted drop of cum with this man!! ALWAYS in or on you in some way.

• thinks you look so fucking pretty when he paints your face with his cum, and tells you as much every single time. always wants to take pics of it that he can look at when you’re apart.

• sometimes will use his fingers to scoop up the cum he’s painted your face with, just to feed it to you to make sure it’s not being wasted (i told u he’s gross ok!!!)

• is also OBSESSED with cumming inside you, no matter which hole he’s cumming in. loves feeling his cock twitch and pulse while he’s deep in you.

• absolutely DOES have a breeding kink so his ultimate fave is definitely cumming deep in your pussy. nothing makes him feel closer to you than this.

❥ D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs):

• listen. two words. panty! sniffer!!!

• will pocket your soaked panties and take them on tour with him so he can still smell your pussy when he’s not with you.

• embarrassed as hell when you find out. turned on as HELL when he realises you’re just as gross as he is, intentionally leaving your panties around the house, giving him a little wink if he notices.

• just about loses his fucking mind when you mail him a pair while he’s on tour.

• also a lingerie lover!!! loves to see you dressed up all pretty for him.

• makes him absolutely FERAL!!!! apologises profusely after ripping every piece of lingerie you ever wear in front of him right off of you (but you lowkey love it and start dressing up more and more just because of the reaction you get from him).

❥ E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?):

• oh vessel ABSOLUTELY knows what he’s doing. expert with his fingers, expert with his tongue, expert with his cock.

• regardless of how many people he’s actually slept with, he’s done his research. knows how to do things and knows how to do them properly and safely.

• also experienced with bdsm. knows how to dom the FUCK out of you and will enjoy every second of it.

❥ F = Favorite position (this goes without saying):

• some ppl will say this is cliche but — missionary king!!!!!

• loves it so he can look into your eyes & make you look into his.

• means he can watch your pretty mouth and listen up close to all the noises that come out of it as you unravel.

• means he can kiss you as much as he wants!!! can and WILL kiss/lick/bite anywhere he can reach: your lips, all over your face, your neck, all over your chest.

• means he’s in a perfect spot to whisper absolute filth into your ear as you whimper beneath him.

• he loves that missionary means you can also kiss all over his neck and chest, that your whimpers and moans go straight to his ears, lowkey loves when your nails dig into his back hard enough to leave a mark.

❥ G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.):

• i think it depends on the scenario and the moment, but most of the time hes gonna be very serious about giving you pleasure and seeking out pleasure himself.

• takes making you cum/teasing you incredibly seriously.

• if y’all are in a more lighthearted moment, he’s absolutely not above having a little laugh or a joke with you while in the midst of it.

❥ H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.):

• very well maintained — trimmed short. nothing exciting! wants to make sure you don’t have a face full of bush when he fucks your face.

❥ I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect):

• the MOST intimate man you will ever meet.

• inside and outside of the bedroom, incredibly touchy feely. always wants to be touching you. holding your hand, a hand on your thigh, your thigh against his if you’re sat next to each other. he just wants to feel you physically close to him (you can’t convince me his love language is not physical touch i will never believe u!!!)

• absolute hopeless romantic at heart!!! will send you flowers while he’s away on tours. hand writes and mails you love letters. writes you poetry. writes you songs!!!! will do anything and everything to let you know how much he loves and appreciates you.

❥ J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon):

• if he’s with you: why would he ever need to masturbate when he’s got three perfectly good holes right there with him?!

• only time he’ll jack off when he’s with you is to tease the fuck out of you. he’ll have you restrained and be stood right in front of you, out of your reach, making you whine and beg for his cock in your pretty mouth.

• if he’s on tour: this man is so horny, there’s no way he’s not getting off while he’s away from you. forever wishing he was deep inside you, but he’ll settle for getting off to your pics and videos.

• begs you to send him voice messages and videos of you masturbating and moaning so he can cum to the sound of you.

• absolutely sends you filthy voice messages and pics and videos in return.

• will sniff the aforementioned panties so he can smell you, look at you, hear you, while he cums thinking about you. wants all his senses to just be you, you, you.

❥ K = Kink (one or more of their kinks):

• KINKY MOTHERFUCKER, just try to fight me on this!!!!

• dominant as FUCK. loves the thrill of you being completely under his control. loves that you trust him enough to submit fully to him. makes him feel so close and intimate with you in a whole new way. mostly a bit of a soft dom, but if the mood strikes, he can definitely be a bit of a mean dom too (and yeah, maybe sometimes you’re a bit bratty just to bring out his mean side. you can’t help that he’s so hot when he’s like that!!)

• dirty talk KING! this motherfucker will NOT shut the fuck up in the bedroom. he doesn’t even do it on purpose, it’s just like a stream of consciousness. spilling out all his filthy thoughts and desires. can and WILL also whisper these thoughts in your ear in public just to get you all flustered.

• ownership kink. has multiple collars for you, some with his name, some with his favourite pet names for you. some with a matching leash, some just for the bedroom that look more obviously like collars, cute ones that look more like necklaces with his initials on them so that you can wear them in public and still feel and know that you’re owned. will remind you VERY regularly that “you. are. MINE.”

• along with this, vessel is also lowkey (highkey!!!) possessive as fuck. if he sees someone else getting physically close to you or flirting with you? you better be prepared for the angry “you’re fucking MINE, you belong to me” rough and nasty kind of sex. forever leaving marks anywhere and everywhere on you. hickeys, bite marks, bruises, anything to let everyone else know that you’re spoken for.

• breeding kink!!! forever wanting to fuck his cum as deep into your pussy as he can.

• oral fixation: this goes both ways. he wants your mouth everywhere on him and his mouth everywhere on you. wants his fingers in your mouth, his cock in your mouth. fucking LOVES the way your eyes glaze over as he fucks your face. could spend hours between your legs getting lost in the way you taste.

• primal!! this is a man that would chase you through the woods just to fuck you on the forest floor once he caught you. thinks it’s fucking HOT to think of himself as the predator hunting you, and you his prey — to do as he wishes with once he has you in his grasp.

• you cannot convince me this man isn’t at least a little bit of a sadist and masochist — “let me wrap the chains, addicted to the pain.” “manifest pain at the core of pleasure.” — you get the idea, yeah? i think homeboy is into some pain, both giving and receiving. nothing too crazy but i just know i’m right on this!!!!

• bondage — loves having you restrained and helpless beneath him.

• edging/orgasm denial. like i said earlier.. very possessive man w an ownership kink!!! you belong to him. you’re HIS. that includes your orgasms. he won’t let you cum without his permission, and will rarely let you cum if you’re apart while he’s on tour. will get you on the phone with him, touching yourself and bringing yourself to the edge just so he can hear the sweet noises you make, but will tell you he doesn’t want you to cum unless it’s around his cock/fingers/tongue. when you’re together? will edge you until you’re begging, pleading, crying for release. then he’ll make you cum over and over and over and overrrrr again until you’re begging, pleading, crying for him to stop (and you fucking love him for it all).

(i truly could probably continue this list as its own post for all the boys lmao)

❥ L = Location (favorite places to do the do):

• listen. this fucker is chronically horny and will happily take you anywhere and everywhere you will let him. he can barely keep his hands off you!!! he’s taken you in countless green rooms and random rooms backstage at shows, if you’re snuggled under the same blankie watching a movie with the boys, he is absolutely teasing and touching you. getting you all worked up while you try to stay quiet. just so obsessed with you he wants to be touching you all the fucking time. big fan of teasing you in public!!

❥ M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going):

• as previously mentioned, lingerie lover!!! seeing his love all dressed up for him like the absolute GIFT they are will instantly get him rock hard!

• i just fucking KNOW my man is a sucker for neck kisses. you kiss his neck? you better be ready to get absolutely RAVISHED by him.

• he really just loves the way you look when you’re all fucked out. the thought of that alone is enough to motivate him.

❥ N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs):

• he won’t let anyone else cum inside your pussy. that’s for him and him only!!!

• won’t let you not have a safeword. even if you say you won’t need it, absolutely insists on it!!! will put the brakes on absolutely everything if u don’t respond properly when he checks in mid scene.

❥ O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.):

• once again this man has an oral fixation so he is OBSESSED w this both ways! both giving and receiving.

• giving: man will eat you like you’re his last fucking meal. gets absolutely lost in the way you taste, the way you smell, the sounds you make.

• gets off on it so much that if you could focus for like 2 seconds you’d see him rutting and grinding until his pre-cum has leaked a wet spot onto the bed.

• would happily stay between your legs for as long as you’ll let him (and will sometimes insist on staying even longer).

• loves when you lose control of your own body and clamp your thighs together around his head.

• i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, he’s GROSS so he really just wants to try and make you squirt all over his fucking face. just once!!!

• receiving: fucking loves loves LOVESSSSSS having his cock sucked. will lose his mind over a messy blowjob.

• adores when you take your time to really worship his cock, makes him feel so fucking good and like he’s the only thing that matters in the world…

• but there’s only so long he can handle things being slow and leaving you in control of the pace of things. can and WILL end up fucking your face and throat without fail every single time.

• the noise he makes the first time his cock hits the back of your throat and you take him even further, deepthroating him? absolutely fucking SINFUL.

• ever since, he’s been obsessed with the feeling of his cock deep in your throat and loves throatfucking you until you’re a gagging, drooling mess for him.

• is absolutely the type to pull you straight back up to him after sucking his cock to give you the most violently passionate open mouthed tongue kisses.

❥ P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.):

• he can be either — totally dependant on the vibe/day/his mood/your mood, etc!

• if he’s mad or needs to get out a lot of pent up energy, it’ll be fast and hard and maybe he’ll be a lil mean (all consensually obviously, as w everything else i’ve mentioned in this post).

• if he’s feeling soft and lovey dovey, it’ll be slow and so so fucking passionate, but it doesn’t mean that it won’t also be a little rough sometimes.

• no matter the actual pace, he would always find a way to make it feel sensual as fuck.

❥ Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.):

• maybe a controversial opinion based on what i’ve seen on these nsfw alphabet tumblr posts from others but i think he fucking LOVES a quickie!

• this man is chronically horny and is fucking OBSESSED with you. if you think he’s not pulling you into a green room to make out with you and then fuck you stupid just before or after a show, you’re soooo wrong!!!

• that being said, he fucking LOVES taking his time with you, letting the rest of the world melt away until there’s nothing but your bodies tangled together.

❥ R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.):

• soooo down to experiment!! like i said before he is GROSS. u never know when you’re gonna unlock a new kink!!!

• will absolutely mess around and fuck you in risky places where there’s a chance you could get caught, but he lowkey loves the thrill! (and loves getting to clamp his big hand over your mouth or make you suck on his fingers to stay quiet).

❥ S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?):

• have you seen the way he fuckin moves around like a gremlin at rituals???? man could literally last all night!!!!

• lasts a fairly decent while each time (he’s well practiced!!), but after he cums, he will absolutely continue messing around and keeping you all hot and bothered for him until he’s ready for another round.

• multiple rounds, all night long, i said what i said!! this man cannot get enough of you ever.

❥ T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?):

• he definitely owns handcuffs and ropes and other things to help restrain you.

• blindfolds, gags, y’know — the fun things to heighten any experience you might have together.

• don’t think he himself owns a lot of toys unless they’re ones he’s bought specifically to use on/with you.

• but be will happily make use of any toys you might have, especially if he knows they drive you crazy.

• will MORE than happily use a vibrator to edge you over and over and over and over until you’re drooling from both ends.

❥ U = Unfair (how much they like to tease):

• patron saint of teasing!!!! you will never find another man that will tease you more.

• edging and orgasm denial is like the fucking teasing olympics and he is absolutely going for the gold.

• will whisper absolute filth in your ear when you’re in public.

• will touch and tease you when and where possible in public.

• just thinks you sound so fucking pretty when you beg for him.. so he wants to make you do it ALL the fucking time.

• just wants to keep you turned on, worked up, and needy for him 24/7!!!!

❥ V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.):

• as previously mentioned this motherfucker will not shut the fuck up EVER in the bedroom!!!!

• will absolutely NOT hold back any moans, growls, whimpers, etc.

• will especially not hold back any sounds because he fucking knows how much they turn you on to hear how good you’re making him feel.

❥ W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character):

• will share you but only with the boys!! they are the exception to his rules.

• he will still absolutely be possessive as fuck about you when you’re with them tho don’t get it twisted!!

• while one of the other boys is balls deep in you he’ll still be whispering about how “even though i’m letting someone else fuck you, that pussy still belongs to ME,” or how “you’re making such pretty noises for him, baby. but he doesn’t fuck you like i do, does he? nobody else fucks you like i do. that’s why you’re all MINE.”

• if he sees one of the other boys has left any marks on you? FERAL!!!! sedate this man!!!! he will mark you the fuck UP!! will leave a bigger, more impressive mark right over the one that was left by one of the other boys as if to claim you.

• highkey loves watching you with the other boys though, turns him on so much and makes him swell with pride at how well you take them and how fucking good you make them feel.

❥ X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes):

• we already been knew this man has a MASSIVE cock. it’s not a secret with the way he jumps around on stage in those pants!!!

• a few hidden scars.

• one or two small tattoos that are easy to keep out of sight in his stage fit.

❥ Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?):

• INSATIABLE!! if you haven’t already got the message, this man is almost ALWAYS horny!!!

• highest sex drive you’ve ever seen on anyone.

• will finish, be cuddling with you, and you’ll feel him getting hard again within minutes because of the way you’re pressed up against him or because he’s thinking about how good you took him or how good you looked while you were cumming around his cock, etc. etc.

❥ Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards):

• depends on the day/mood/etc!

• will stay up with you all night if you want.

• always always ALWAYS makes sure you’re okay/taken care of before sleep ever crosses his mind.

• will happily tangle your limbs together under the covers and fall asleep with you after if you’re sleepy!

• lowkey think he would enjoy watching you fall asleep feeling safe in his arms so maybe he waits up, trailing his arm up and down your back, playing with your hair, soothing you to sleep, just so he can stare at your pretty peaceful sleeping face for a little before dozing off himself.

———————————————————

once again i cannot and do not ever write but the brainrot has become too much and i simply had to get this out!!!! i’m only even posting it so like 2 specific people can read it lol SORRY I MADE VESSEL GROSS BUT ALSO !!!! tell me i’m wrong (u can’t i won’t believe u!)

#sleep token smut #vessel smut #vesselposting #vessel x reader #vessel x you #vessel #idk how this post got so long ok i just have a LOT of filthy thoughts about this man

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ljaylmaoo · 1 month

Text

Only Yours

hook x fem!reader

summary: you and hook have a relationship that everyone wishes they could experience and someone tries to break you two apart

genre: very angsty, also extremely fluffy

warnings: hook is really soft in this lol, hickeyss, arguments, there’s a kiss without consent in this, I think that’s it

a/n: hii! this is my FIRST post and one-shot that I wrote out of pure boredom lol. if there’s any typos sorry, I wrote this from 2 am to 7 am in one go lol. please let me know what you think after, AND PLEASE feel free to send requests! as I had a lot of fun writing this and would love to write more! hope you enjoy! thank you :)

word count: 3.6k

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

To say you were nervous was an understatement.

At the moment, you were doing the final touches of your makeup in anticipation of Castlecoming. You weren’t very fond of wearing a dress. Sure you loved fashion, but dresses? Most certainly not. But you promised Bridget that if she got Ella to wear a dress, you would too. You also wanted to surprise your boyfriend James who would never expect you to actually wear a gown such as this one. So there you stood, admiring your figure in the gold, arched, full length mirror that sat in the corner of your dorm after brushing on some highlighter on the highest part of your cheekbones and tip of your nose. You cursed at yourself for liking the way the gown looked on you.

“Wow..”

The sudden low whisper like voice from the left of you made you jump a bit then relaxed when you recognized the comforting voice of your boyfriend which instantly washed away the nerves you previously had. You glanced over your shoulder, a radiant smile that couldn’t be hidden even if you tried crept up as you caught the sight of your breathtakingly beautiful lover carrying a bouquet of your favourite flowers in one hand and a box with a bow that held a corsage that luckily matched your dress perfectly.

He slowly made his way up to you, taking in every detail of the rare sight that lied in front of him. He gently set down the box on your vanity, “Art has no depiction that’s fitting of your description. Even the most ignorant would applaud and long for my loves radiance.”

A soft blush washed over your cheeks, “says you, my pretty boy.” You giggle taking the flowers he presented to you with a bow and placed your arms around his neck with him pulling your waist close to him. James has always been a romantic. Every compliment he gives makes Shakespeare’s poems seem dull. Everyone in the academy ached to have your kind of love. And the girls were envious of how James showed his love for you. Always showing you off every chance he gets. He was proud to call you his. He also could never keep his hands off of you, always had to be touching you someway twenty four seven.

Though you two were infatuated with love for one another, there would be the odd argument that would leave you not talking for a day or two which was usually due to his mean and sometimes cruel words that he really didn’t mean. He was still a VK after all.

“Doesn’t my darling look ravishing today?” Was something he would ask the VKs daily as he watched from afar with googoo eyes while smiling like an idiot as you were laughing and talking with your friends, not taking his eyes off you once. Even if you were in a fight and not talking that day.

“Aren’t you guys in a fight?”

“Doesn’t make her any less breathtaking and heavenly to look at.”

These days were torture for him. He tried to be tough and not show how much he was suffering without you, but it never lasted long. By the time he finally breaks he comes knocking on your door with a teddy and “I’m sorry” flowers with him apologizing profusely almost leaving him in tears begging you to take him back explaining how lonely his bed is and how he missed being tangled up with you in your bed every night having the ability to hold you close to him as you drifted off to sleep, and of course you can never stay mad at him. Especially when he’s making himself look like a fool in front of others as they passed by not caring if they judged him by how pathetic he looked, his mind only being set on getting you back.

He was also very protective and possessive of you. If anyone was mean to you or dared try to lay a hand on you flirtatiously, he wasn’t afraid to handle them himself or he would aggressively yet still carefully grab your waist, sometimes with his hook, and kiss you in front of them before smirking at them and watched with satisfaction as they rolled their eyes and walked off. He’d also sometimes give you a few hickeys, making sure that they were as visible as possible. you both wore a necklace with each other’s initials engraved and a diamond heart.

He had also gifted you a beautiful promise ring for your one year anniversary and you’ve worn it ever since.

His favourite pastime was gazing at you while you did your schoolwork or as you slept in his arms. “My heart is so full of you, I can hardly call it my own.” Is just one of the many examples he would say whenever you got insecure and were in denial. He always made sure you knew his devotion to you was for eternity.

You were soulmates without a doubt. Twin flames.

He kissed you passionately, hungrily placing his soft plump lips on yours. You melted into his touch, smiling at his desperation to get as physically close to you as possible in anyway he could. You tried to pull away to catch your breath but he wouldn’t let you, “James” you laughed with his lips still attached to yours, lightly pushing him away at his chest.

He finally pulled away, “yes, love?” He smiled still staring at your lips, lovingly

“I could barely breathe” you laughed again, “I’m sorry darling, I just can’t ever get enough of you.” He shamelessly admitted. You both stayed close admiring each other’s features, leaving no room in between. His hands still firm on your lower back as you stroked his hair. His hair was probably your favourite feature of his. It was soft and always the perfect length, swept back.

“I love you so much.” you whispered looking into his eyes while fixing his collar and necklaces after messing it up a bit from the kiss

“Not as much as I do you, sweetheart.”

“I don’t think so” you replied knowing you always lose the ‘I love you more’ arguments. He laughed, “oh darling, we both know that’s not possible. My love for you will remain as infinite as the stars.” He said while caressing your cheek. You placed your hand on top of his and smiled shyly. He grabbed the box off of the vanity and took the corsage out, he gently took your hand and slid it onto your wrist then kissed your hand softly. “There you are my love.” He said while looking up at you. You had your hand on your chest, “oh my goodness! Thank you, it’s beautiful.” You said while looking at it in awe. He smiled, “of course darling.” He gave you a quick kiss and lead you to the door and opened it, “after you, gorgeous.”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You and James entered the ballroom together with your arm wrapped around his and hands intertwined looking around the huge decorated room. It was everything you’d imagined it would be. Everyone dressed up in breathtakingly beautiful suits and gowns scattered around the room mingling with their friends or dancing with their loved ones as music played in the background. James watched you in adoration, the amazement in your eyes made them sparkle along with the light glistening from the chandeliers above. The two of you got some glances from your peers of course as you were named ‘Best Couple’ in the yearbook and everyone adored your relationship for the most part. Among the people who were jealous, there was one girl in particular that absolutely despised your relationship. That girl goes by the name of Aria. (if your name is Aria I’M SORRY LMAO) She hated how happy you guys were especially of how loving James was towards you and hated how much people adored your relationship.

She was also James’ ex girlfriend.

They were together for eight months and broke up just five months before you both officially started dating. During those eight dreadful months, they were extremely toxic. They would get into pointless heated arguments on a daily basis at school, some even resulting in James earning a slap to the face, but then would be seen back together by the end of the day making out by the lockers or something. You knew of James beforehand because he was part of Uliana’s crew and also because you had to pass his locker almost everyday in order to get to class and that was usually where they would have their fights. He never paid any attention to you at first, but when Uliana began tormenting Bridget, you caught his eye. He’d constantly try to flirt with you and you would often find him to be staring at you whenever you weren’t looking. One thing led to another and after four months of his many attempts to try and get to you, you finally gave in and decided to give him a chance and a month later, it was made official. You don’t know what changed in him for him to treat you the complete opposite of how he treated Aria and she hated you for it though she couldn’t do anything about it because she knew what he and the VK’s would do if she did. So she always judged from afar, only doing as much as giving you a glare everytime you made eye contact. She wanted to try and sabotage your relationship the night of Castlecoming and break the two of you up, so she came with a plan.

Aria was with her friends when one of them spoke up, “woah, they look grossly fabulous tonight..” she turned and her jaw dropped instantly when she saw the two of you on the other side of the room talking to Uliana and the rest of the group, James spinning you around to show off your gown. She boiled with rage and turned back to her friends, “yeah, we are definitely going to break them up tonight.”

As James was talking with Morgie, you spotted your friends Bridget and Ella so you lightly tapped his shoulder and leaned in to whisper making sure Uliana didn’t notice as she was currently talking with Maleficent beside you, “I’m going to go say hi to Bridget and Ella, okay?” He looked down at you and kissed gave you a quick kiss, “okay, love.” You gave one more kiss on the cheek before heading off towards your friends.

Bridget squealed with excitement as she saw you approaching them, “oh my gosh! Y/n?! You look amazing!” She came up and pulled you into a hug, squeezing tightly to express how proud she was. “I know, I know” you jokingly said after she let go while blushing a bit. You smiled and hugged Ella, “wow I didn’t actually think I’d see you in a dress, like ever.” Ella gave a small smile and laughed, “I could say the same to you.” You scoffed, “well of course I did. We wouldn’t wanna disappoint our girl here now, would we?” You said while patting Bridget on the shoulder who was bursting with excitement jumping up and down while clapping her hands, “okay we need! To take pictures, come on!” She insisted before pulling you both over to the Photo Booth.

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It was later into the night and you were dancing with James, Ella had to go home due to her strict curfew her stepmother gave her, and Bridget went back to her dorm to let you and James have some time together. Aria and her friends watched you with rage as you were gazing into each other’s eyes lovingly, waiting for the perfect moment to begin her plan. He spun you around as the song ended and kissed your hand before leading you off the dance floor, “could I get you another drink, my love?” He questioned, “yeah, sure. I’ll be over there I just have to go to the bathroom quick.” He nodded and the two of you went your separate ways.

Aria smirked at her friends as the first part of her plan had come. She slyly walked off to the fruit punch table and stood in front of it waiting for James to walk up. “Hi James.” She said suspiciously sweet, he only rolled his eyes and scoffed, “what do you want? Can you move, please?” Aria gave a fake pout, “what? All I did was say hi.” She said innocently, “oh did you want some punch? I’ll get them for you.” She turned and grabbed two cups, “two right? One for you and one for your little girlfriend?” James had his arms crossed and stood impatiently, looking away from her, “yup.” Aria giggled and poured the first one, “here’s yours” she smiled before turning to pour the other. James took a sip of the drink while he waited.

A few moments later, you finished touching up your make up after washing your hands in the bathroom and walked out towards the punch table but you stopped in your tracks. There, in front of the punch table was Aria who had forcefully pulled James into an unexpected kiss. Your heart shattered at the sight. You made eye contact with James who had a shocked and angry expression that you couldn’t see. Your eyes welled up with tears before you ran out of the ballroom. James pushed Aria off him, “get off of me! What the hell, Aria?” He scolded before shoving the punch into her hands and ran after you. She watched him run after you with a smirk taking a sip in satisfaction.

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You came bursting into your room as you cried, slipping off your heels and taking the accessories out of your hair and throwing them onto the vanity followed by your earrings and necklace. You ripped the corsage off your wrist and threw it into the trash can beside you. You studied yourself in the mirror, hating yourself for deciding to wear a gown only to surprise the one you thought loved you most only for them to humiliate you and look like a fool. You went and sat down on your bed as you cried into your hands. James came into the dorm in a panic causing you to jump, “Love, I can explain!” You furrowed your eyebrows in anger while looking at him in disgust, “no! I don’t want to hear it, James!”

“No, no, no, really darling! It wasn’t what it looked-“ you got up from the bed, “Oh yeah? Cause it looked like my boyfriend was kissing his ex girlfriend by the punch table!”

“Well yes but-“

“Do you still have feelings for her, James?” You yelled as you walked closer, “were you only using me to get back at her? Did you even love me?!” He was stuttering as he tried to answer every question you threw at him, “what? No! Of course I do!” He tried but you continued to yell at him, causing him to get angry and the screaming match began. It never ever got this bad before. If the dance wasn’t still going on, everyone would for sure be able to hear every insulting and harsh words you were throwing at each other. There were hot tears streaming down your faces as you continued. But as bad as it was, and as much as you wanted to, neither of you had the willpower to officially call the relationship off. You loved each other too much to do so and you both knew that.

You took the flowers he gave you earlier off your desk and harshly shoved them into his chest, “Get out! I don’t want you here! Leave!” You pushed him out the door and slammed it in his face. You took a deep breath and turned around, and started towards your bed. You didn’t know what to think or how to feel. You knew what he was saying made sense and knew he loved you far too much to ever do something to hurt you. But you don’t know why you kept going at him.

You sat down and stared down at the floor, your mind so lost in deep thought that you didn’t even realize you had changed out of your dress and into your pyjamas. You looked down at the shirt you’d just finished putting on and sighed, it was his shirt. You shut your lamp off and lied down on your bed and stared up at the ceiling as the thoughts in your head continued to flow. Why was he with Aria in the first place for that to happen? He shouldn’t have let that happen. But after a while you felt really bad for what you had said to him and the names you called him. But was he mad at you now too? You heard something that was slid under the crack of your door, you sat up and looked at the little piece of paper that was on the floor. You turned your lamp back on and slowly walked over and picked it up. You opened the paper, “My Beautiful Darling Y/n, no matter how much we fight, the love I have for you will never fade. You will never be unloved by me for you are far too well tangled in my soul. The only feeling stronger than my love for you is the ache that comes with missing you. I’m so very sorry I let this happen, My Love.” You wiped a tear from your cheek as you finished reading. You set the note down on your nightstand and lied back down on your bed.

You tried to fall asleep but you just couldn’t. You missed the feeling of being secured and safe in his arms while he whispered sweet nothings as you drifted off to sleep. Your bed felt cold. Lonely.

After a few more minutes of attempting to force yourself to sleep, you got up and crept out of your room and down the stairs and proceeded down another long hallway before stopping in front of an all too familiar door. You stared at it, contemplating whether or not it was a good idea. But before you could make a decision, you were already making your way inside the dark room. You quietly walked towards the bed, softly and carefully getting under the covers making sure not to wake him. The warmth and familiarity of his body heat made you feel at ease. You looked over at his sleeping figure who was facing towards you and traced his features with your eyes, admiring everything about him and couldn’t help but smile. You really did love this boy with all your heart.

You turned away from him and sighed before closing your eyes to sleep, but just as you were drifting off, you felt an arm snake around your figure, pulling you close. You smiled and melted into his body as you felt the warmth of him engulf your backside, placing your hand on top of his that was placed above your stomach under your shirt. Well, his shirt. He pulled you closer and you felt him softly stroking your hair. Though it has only been a few hours since you’ve felt his touch, it felt like forever. You turned in his arms to face him and wrapped your arms around him scrunching the fabric of his shirt tightly in your hands while burying your face deep into his chest, he had managed to somehow pull you closer though it was physically impossible already.

“I’m sorry.” He heard your soft voice cry, muffled from being buried in his chest. He shook his head and stroked your head, “shh, no, no, no. Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong, my love.” You let out a quiet sob which was terribly agonizing for him to hear. He looked down and placed his hand on your cheek, bringing your gaze up to his. You looked into his eyes with a pitiful gaze, he saw how broken you looked. The moonlight that seeped in through the window above his bed glistening off your tearful eyes. “Don’t cry, love..” he tried but you rambled on, spilling everything your heart was feeling at that moment causing the pieces of his already broken heart shatter into a million more pieces. He stared at you not knowing what to say after you were done, only pulling you into a deep kiss, more passionate than ever letting his body do the talking without saying any words, pulling your waist close to his. He left sloppy kisses down to your neck, lightly gracing the sensitive skin with his teeth making you gasp in pleasure and gently pull at his hair before he continued to leave his mark with a smile while telling you how beautiful you were and how much he loved you.

This continued until both your neck and chest were covered with love bites. He trailed kisses back up and kissed you once more. He broke the kiss, breathing heavily while looking into your lustful, heavy lidded eyes that were threatening to shut and noticed as your breathing slowed. He pulled you back in and you cuddled back into his chest, “I love you.” You whispered, trailing off as you began to fall into a deep, well needed slumber.

“I love you too, Darling.” He whispered, leaving a delicate kiss on your forehead and rested his head on yours as you both drifted off to sleep.

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