#to really passive like (doesn't say anything or just does it) or “I'll do it if you want me to I guess :[” or [<- straight up lying to be p

[gltownsend]

Dialogue/Character Voice Tag Game

Rules: Rewrite the given line in the voices of characters from your WIP of choice!

Thank you to @inkhelm for tagging me :]!

My line was 'It's better if you leave'.

I think they'd probably be something like

(Nikora) Can you just give me a minute? [<- he is too roundabout to be clear] (Tijil) Leave. [<- he is not] (Anahera) Go away! (Edie) I think it would be better if I did this by myself. (Adityi) (nonserious) Can you get out of my fucking way? (Adityi) (serious) I think you should go.

Tagging @mister-writes, @alnaperera, @urlocalwitch555, and anyone who wants! Your line is 'I don't want to do that'.

[caughtafishie]

saw art yesterday that pmo so bad. im not trying to put anyone on blast or anything but i need to rant about this bc it truly rubbed me the wrong way.

i'll just start by saying that i dont mean any malice toward this artist nor do i want ppl jumping down their throat but i do think we need to have a conversation about why ed is being interpreted like this. (also sorry if someone has made a similar post, i saw this art for the first time yesterday)

...like where do i begin. the racial implications? the izzy victimization? sorry but why are we portraying a brown man as this crazed, red eyed beast whose totally inevitable violence has to be taken on by some white martyr who "takes it for the team"? i kind of can't even begin to understand where this line of thinking comes from when we literally never see ed in a state like this in the show.

its like literally kind of a huge plot point that ed isn't murderous, and is only violent to those extremes when he is pushed. and izzy is usually the one pushing him, so yeah he faced the brunt of the violence ed inflicted. but we honestly really only see ed physically harm izzy, not the rest of the crew, during blackbeard 2.0 era.

like lets think about it. ed harms the rest of the crew in very indirect ways i.e. making them fight each other or sailing them into a storm. he doesn't ever pull a knife or gun nor does he throw a punch. the most he really does is push lucius off the ship, which is bad of course, but not something i'd call a super violent attempt on someone's life. even though he did think he killed him, it's still passive, letting the sea take care of it. the only other people we really see ed beat or kill are colonizers and his abusive father.

and then there's izzy. i wrote a post before about izzy and ed's dynamic during this era, and oh boy am i not done. people have a hard time understanding that their cycle of abuse and retaliation is perpetuated by izzy, not ed. ed isn't this feral wild animal going around harming everyone he sees. he's not an inherently violent person. i feel like the show does so much to make that clear. izzy, however, thrives on violence, specifically blackbeard's violence. which is why he pushes ed, he's a sadist and a masochist. he is putting ed through suffering to gain his own suffering, and that's what he wants. and he wants to keep ed right there with him, even though he acknowledges that ed has moved on.

as for the racial implications, i think maybe we steer clear of drawing poc as big scary monsters who you are inherently unsafe around? so much so that a white man feels the need to take on his rampant violence so no one else has to? sorry but we did not watch the same show if that's how you view ed.

like i said, ed is not a violent person. ed is an emotional person. he doesnt get any more angry than he does sad or happy, he just feels his emotions intensely. and if a mentally ill brown man having emotions screams "danger" to you, especially when he is otherwise shown to pose no physical threat to those around him, im gonna need you to think about why. why would he be any more dangerous than izzy, who has put the crew in more precarious situations than ed did? who has killed more people? the only person on the ship ed ever tried to actively kill during this era is himself, everything else was collateral. but no yeah, lets demonize him and make his abuser the white savior here..

[nekovale]

Top Dazai?

.... anon this is so cryptic what does this MEAN is this a request or do you want my thoughts on it or what.......... if it's meant as a request then sorry, I'm not really accepting those atm, but there should be some top Dazai in my wips so look foward to that I guess if instead you wanted to know what I think about top Dazai, I've already answered what my preference is, but I guess I'll take the chance and Explain my thoughts on the matter short answer: I don't dislike top Dazai but I have a very strong peference for bottom Dazai long answer:

personally I see Dazai very passive when it comes to sex. I don't think he's actively interested in it, he mostly sees it as a tool to get what he wants/needs, a means to an end. He might have used it to his advantadge in missions to get intel or a target, but it's all performative to him: another thing to use or act upon (the shit he pulled with the nurse, for example) because of this I see him as a switch, because he can adapt to play the part he needs depending on the situation. but if left to his own devices.... now my personal thing is that Chuuya is the exception for him. I say this of course from a shipping point of view (tho I have Thoughts about Oda too), but to me Chuuya is Much more open and indulgent regarding sex and He would be the active participant in the relationship, with Dazai going along with it. It's because it's Chuuya specifically that Dazai would engage and enjoy, and also aim to please. I can see Dazai as a service top because of this performative aspect of people pleaser, I just personally prefer the other way around. While there are thoughts behind my preferences, it also all comes down to the fact that it's hot for me that way, sorry Dazai is a character who is constantly at work and putting on masks and acts, and it's very satisfying to work to break those down. you can do that in many ways, and sex is one of them, since power and vulnerability go hand in hand with it. when it comes down to it, I much prefer to see Dazai losing control rather than Be in control when it comes to skk I also just really like dominant Chuuya, so like. the dynamic comes naturally top Dazai usually doesn't say anything to me. I don't like sex machine Dazai, I don't believe it, and most of the time I just.... find it boring sdfk there are exceptions of course, and as I said, I don't actively dislike top Dazai. it just needs to be done in a specific way for me to care!

[edlucavalden]

Im too exausted for proper(ish) essays, but im so crazy over this scene. i can't contain myself

TW for: S/A !!! (For the nature of the writing and well—the scene itself)

He's confused at first. he doesn't know what is going on. This slight pause isn't because he's scared or frozen but to assess the situation. After all It was kinda sudden.

All he doesn't like this feeling. he feels uncomfortable and that some sort of boundry has been breached. But he hasn't fully processed it yet.

And right before he fully comprehends and does something about it—

He suddenly becomes compliant?

It's like he forgot what he was gonna do—like He loses the motivation to enforce his boundaries.

he still feels uncomfortable. that doesn't change. But he isnt aware of that. Well, that makes sense... since he never really did fully process what was happening. It's like he lost the will to care about or process it.

This panel. Christ... Thistle finally builds up the power to say stop. It's weak—confused and disoriented. I dont think it's even directed to anything specifically. Its intentions are vague.

But god... and the lion's response? Reassurance. how he can't help it, he needs this to live, he's been waiting for so long—oh, and don't worry, I'll take care of you.

It's just so chilling after this.

Thistle's powerless, weak, and complaicent. It's out of character for thistle. This entire scene is. However It's still thistle. His behavior and actions are his own, and for me that's the terrifying part.

This wasn't... Forced? There's no fighting and thrashing— Its just a complete submission. he reacted yeah but he didn't resist. he didn't fight back even if he had the ability to (we know bc he has, for 1000 years in fact). The lion didn't directly force him either. It didn't violently force him to have its way. But it's still violating. And that's the thing; the assult wasnt violent, but passive.

Hi guys just to reiterate that I did NOT mean to say that sexual cohesion is not an act of force. this part is ment reiterate that it "wasn't forced" in the sterotypical way of resisting, i followed it up by saying that it is still violating despite that and i emhasized that idea in the parts after that,. This part (more so the entire work in general) is ment to emphasize the passive yet transgressive nature of cohesion. i SINCERELY apologize if that was the message that was interpreted from that part. I did not intend it to mean that way.

The demon has slowly but surely torn down thistle's sense of self so much it turned him into a completely different person. Like his identity was shattered and rebuilt to submit.

It starts small, building up the situation, taking away his desire to resist and enforce his boundaries, then it gives a rose tinted explanation of what is happening. Finally, it comforts and praises him. This is what gives thistle the illusion of choice, a passive way of getting him vulnerable.

You can see how it affected him vividly through this part. it's like he forgets what he was fighting for. He forgets his boundaries, his identity, the things he cares about, everything. It's being ripped away from him.

Thistle never stood a chance.

It wasn't his fault he submitted. It was the demon's for putting him in that state. His complaicency is due to the fact that he had no power for any other way.

it never mattered that thistle never fought back. Even if he did fight back or didn't, even if he succeeded or not—what then? it would never change the demon's nature. One who seeks consumption will always consume. In other words; it will always find a way.

I honestly dont think it was the demon's intention to harm thistle. It's selfish but not moralisticly evil (nothing ever is). It seeks fulfillment and not suffering. But its blind pursuit for satisfaction caused suffering, That's what makes it malicious. It doesn't matter if he intented or was aware of it or not. the demon benefited from something that could harm him and did it despite that. And that will never change.

[hawkinasock]

I ADORE YOU. MORE ABUNDANCE YANQING AND YAOSHI. PLEASE.

So, can you please learn more tell about this theory?

(You draw beautifully.)

GAAAGHHHH this was the first thing I saw in the morning omg tsym <333 dw I've got my mitts on and I'll get to cooking o7 I assume you're asking me to explain the theory? Which I'll gladly do. Very long post incoming.

Essentially, the general idea is that Yanqing is related to abundance in some way, be it simply second-hand association, or he himself being an abomination/denizen of abundance himself - I personally believe in the latter. While I've made art of Yaoshi and Yanqing in a parental dynamic, it's not something I see as a viable theory, so much as it's just a fun little crack theory. Yaoshi is more likely a passive creator than an actual loving parent. There's a bunch of different interpretations for what Yanqing is and how he came to be based on the little pieces of evidence found in canon. One piece of evidence is his blonde hair.

As far as I can tell, the only other blonde Xianzhou characters are Dan Shu and Luocha (Luocha isn't a Xianzhou native himself, but he was a part of the quest so I'm including him anyway), both directly associated with the abundance, as well as Yaoshi themselves.

Interestingly enough, Dan Shu has the same hair part as Yanqing, but that could just be chalked up to design cohesion and framing the face/mask, rather than anything meaningful.

Edit: someone pointed out to me that Dan Shu's hair was initially brown, but after joining the disciples, it turned blonde.

Edit: I somehow forgot to include Phantylia, who has blonde hair in her third phase, and even a hair part. There's also a disciple of Sanctus Medicus in a cell in the shackling prison who also has blonde hair. Every character I've found who has blonde hair is either a disciple, or canonically connected to Yaoshi

(I considered adding Hongling, the fanatic fan in the stands of the Skysplitter, but I think his hair might just be dyed, which isn't too crazy an idea for a stan. Still mentioning him though, since he's a really weird character)

If you look closely at Yanqing's clothes, there's a reoccurring vine-esc pattern on all layers of his hanfu. They can also be seen on his sword. It doesn't necessarily mean much by itself, but it's an interesting detail I and others have noticed.

However, I want to point attention to Yanqing's phone case, because it's actually super interesting, and probably the most convincing piece of evidence imo. Not only does it relay the vine motif, but that to me looks like a leaf detaching from a branch and transforming into a swallow. If the characters' phone cases are meant to reflect their personality/reference lore elements, then this is probably the most blatant in terms of potential lore.

Edit: the little decals on the camera lense are in the image of Yanqing's hair ornament, which happens to look like a pair of leaves, midribs and all.

Speaking of swallows, has anyone noticed that there's flocks of golden swallows inside the roots of the arbor? I only noticed on my second playthrough, but I haven't stopped thinking about them since. How odd is it that out of any other bird, the arbor has swallows specifically. Of course, Swallows aren't Yanqing's motif alone, as the wardance teaser silhouette's have what look like swallows in the background art, but I still think it's important to bring up, considering Yanqing is literally COVERED in them, from his ornaments, to his swallow tail-shaped coat tail, to his entire playstyle.

Low-quality ss of the swallows for reference.

Luocha also has a line about Yanqing that, setting aside any theory-crafting, seems pointless. He has nothing to say, which, if he was truly genuine, what purpose does this line even serve? I can't infer much from the delivery of the other languages, since I have no knowledge on them or their social cues, but in en, the tone is very... discreet? It's just the way he says it is very off, like he's being dishonest. Too quick; too matter-of-fact; It's artificial honesty. I hope you get what I mean lol. I can only assume the va was directed to say it that way for a reason.

A passage from Yanqing's 2nd char story reads: "It's recorded in the military annals of the Cloud Knights how Jing Yuan came to discover the young boy, stood his ground against public opinion, and incorporated him into the armed forces. However, in the family lineage column, Yanqing's lineage was relegated to the category of unknown."

From Yanqing's 4th char story: "Some speculated that he [Jing Yuan] was cultivating an heir, others claimed he only kept him around just to use this kid as a secret weapon. Jing Yuan never offered a response."

Jing Yuan is really suspicious. Like, incredibly suspicious. Even more than Luocha. Yanqing is already known to be an orphan, but the lack of clarity over the details of Jy discovering him, as well as the fact that he has no known relatives in their database is very odd. Speaking to Jing Yuan's npc in-game allows the player to inquire about Yanqing's origin, but Jing Yuan's response is far from helpful. You'd think the man who decks out his Lieutenant in protective charms and locks, and who raised the kid from, at oldest, toddler years, would be a little more eager to spurge on about stories from Yanqing's childhood, but he instead chooses to dance around the topic and make light-hearted remarks about Qingzu's furphies. Obviously, you can't and shouldn't expect to get all of a characters lore in one serving, but revealing so little definitely implies a lot more, as we've seen with Luocha.

These details are the reason why, if Yanqing does turn out to be related to the abundance, be it a spawn of the arbor, or a creation of Yaoshi themselves, I believe that at least Jing Yuan knows and is keeping it all under wraps. Maybe the whole reason Jing Yuan assigned him as his aide in the first place was to keep a close eye on him. Rather ironic a general of the hunt would risk everything to protect the thing he's sworn to destroy.

But that's just my two cents. Thank you anon for giving me a reason to spurge about this theory finally, as it's become so dear to my heart.

More art will be posted as I go along, so don't touch that dial.

[funnuraba]

My review of Most Ardently as A Transmasc (not the worst recent transmasc YA book, but not great or even good):

I didn't care for this? The dysphoria is well-described, but I didn't get anything else out of the experience. I thought at one point that Bingley might get fleshed out a bit more than the original book, and Oliver could enjoy being one of the guys in a way that strengthened all their characters, but then it was mostly just Oliver and Darcy after that.

Firstly, there are three or four scenes where the author was clearly feeling it and putting in effort--the fair, Oliver's dream about going swimming with his ideal body. Those are fine. All the other prose is so turgid and dull that rereading it for this review was a chore. There are at least four scenes where Collins/Wickham/Mrs Bennet/Lady Catherine says something outrageous, and Oliver stares at them thinking, 'Bwahh? Are they seriously saying that (PREMISE OF SCENE)? They can't be serious. It's almost like (OTHER CHARACTER'S FATAL FLAW).' Not funny. Not fun. The support Oliver gets is boilerplate "I love and support you always." Everyone else is constantly saying, "Wow, you're so feminine and should be more feminine, I love women and you are a woman and women are feminine, do you have dysphoria yet or should I start over?" Please trust your audience a little bit, even if you're writing YA!

One guy bothering Oliver at a ball comments that he admires women who can embroider, because it's such a feminine art. This is an inanity worthy of Mr Collins. In this time period, it's like saying that childbirth really reminds him of women. Fire hot. Snow cold! What he would say is that being good at embroidery shows a woman's class and good breeding: she's been educated well and has a talent that speaks to her overall character, because that's how they saw things back then. "Feminine" was not a quality that some women possessed, or one end of a sliding scale. It was what a woman was.

Beyond that, I don't feel like this was Pride & Prejudice in any meaningful way. It doesn't engage with the characters or setting except that the plot is vaguely "hot rich guy might hate you, and someone spreads rumors about him?!?" It felt more like Disney's Beauty and the Beast if Belle (or Beau) had a sister and the Beast had a friend. Collins and Wickham might as well be two halves of Gaston, because they're not Collins and Wickham. Nobody is the same as the original: Mr Bennet isn't witty but lazy and passive-aggressive, he's just the smiling kindly father who accepts Oliver instantly, and takes decisive action to protect him. Crazy old Maurice! Jane is supportive but sassy, not at all the Jane Bennet who refuses to think or speak ill of anyone down to the man who runs off with her sixteen year old sister. She's Oliver's Generic Sister. Oliver himself has no wit, no spark, no pride, no prejudice. No growth or flaws to overcome except being closeted. Collins isn't one of the most famous comic figures of English literature, he's just a dull guy who complains about modernity and tells Oliver he has beautiful child-bearing hips in public (what?!?!). (Collins in the original book has a very distinctive way of speaking that usually vanishes in remixes; as usual it's gone here. I'll grant that it's exhausting to replicate!)

Now, Wickham had unbelievable potential to explore in this remix, because how does Oliver, who likes men, react to being charmed by a handsome, charismatic man whose charm is predicated on addressing him as a woman the whole time? That's never addressed, because Oliver can simply sense the child molestions radiating off Wickham with his built-in Geiger counter, and dislikes him immediately. And Wickham is like a real sad sack here and has no game at all. Just straight to "Darcy is a bastard man, mean to my cousin. Maybe gay 🤨??"

There's very little engagement with any of the social mores of the era, even the ones that only require an annotated copy of P&P to research, because they're already in the original book. Oliver says "arse" at a public ball while presenting as a woman. Jane says "bastard"!!! Oliver is addressed regularly as "Miss Bennet" in situations where his elder sister is present. Later, Mr Collins calls him "Miss Elizabeth" and he's shocked at being deadnamed, but has a whole little moment explaining in his head that oh, that makes sense, because there are other Miss Bennets in the room. ....Except Oliver Bennet wouldn't have that thought, because there was a basic etiquette rule to deal with the surname problem, which he should know. He would always have been Miss Elizabeth unless Jane was totally absent.

Furthermore, the Bennets' financial and class situation seems to have been completely altered, except I don't think the author realizes it. Oliver mentions that they can only afford books on special occasions, and he dreams of having a library--but Mr Bennet in the original book has that very library, because they have a good income that they've spent rather than saved. They wouldn't be in their social circles otherwise. In Most Ardently, the Bennets don't live on a countryside estate with tenants who pay them rent. They live in a London townhouse that supposedly has servants, but in practice nobody acts like they do. Oliver has regular chores, Mrs Bennet brings food out to their guests, and Oliver offers to bring a broom for a dropped teacup. Mr Bennet is vaguely mentioned to have "work". Is he in trade? This is a pretty major change to their class, and it makes them into a family that would be excluded from every ball and gathering that the Bennets attend.

Except none of that matters, because the author wasn't trying to write anything but a modern single-income family that has to scrimp and save on some fronts. So Most Ardently just doesn't take place anywhere or any time in particular.

Charlotte, meanwhile, is now Charlotte Lewis for some reason. Her father isn't wealthy, he was never knighted, and the rest of her family doesn't exist, so it's just her and her hardworking father with no servants. We're told that they can't afford servants. Again, this is a worldshaking alteration to her class. Oliver Bennet, if we assume he's in Elizabeth's position from the book, would never socialize with a woman this poor. Not ever. They wouldn't be friends. He wouldn't go over to her servant-less house. Not even if his father were in trade. Charlotte Lucas helping out in the kitchen sometimes is already an object of derision from Mrs. Bennet in P&P; to have zero servants at all was the sign that your family was itself in the servant class.

(While I'm here: Charlotte Lewis was renamed from Charlotte Lucas, and her girlfriend is named Lu, which makes me feel like she's dating a gijinka of her original last name? Is that why Lu has no discernible personality? There's a lot of Oliver going over to their homes, talking to them alone in private, being in their bedrooms. It would've been interesting to see how a trans man from this time period would feel about all that, given that men weren't supposed to do any of those things--how does this alter the pre-existing friendship from before he realized he was a man? Does he feel invalidated that he has to break the rules of being a man in order to talk to the people who will treat him as a man, or does he find the rules don't matter as much to him now? Nothing like that is ever addressed, though.)

Lady Catherine (who is somehow OOC despite doing the same things she does in canon) is now Darcy's former guardian, because Darcy was aged down. I don't know if a widowed aunt could even be made legal guardian of two underage relatives when Darcy's mother still has a living brother--an earl, no less. But again, there was no consideration of how things might have been different in the past. Anne de Bourgh doesn't exist, which, fine, you can pare down the cast for a shorter story. But we still have to have the famous shades of Pemberley confrontation, so Lady Catherine wants Darcy to marry...... Wickham's cousin?! In the original story, this would be the niece of her brother-in-law's steward. That's not happening! Wickham doesn't seem to be in a different class here in Most Ardently. In fact, I'm not sure what he does, besides stalking Oliver and socializing with Mr Collins (?). I don't think the army is even mentioned. So why on earth would his cousin be a candidate to marry the incredibly rich nephew of an earl? This universe has no anchor in reality!

I guess my issue here is that all the social commentary and character detail from P&P is erased, and replaced with the singular conflict of being gay and trans. However, it doesn't even address that fully, because it might as well be 1990. It feels dishonest and cheap to ignore the actual concerns a trans man (who's white and in a certain social class) would have in this time period, precisely because many of them are IN the original book. Why is Oliver acting like it's solely a question of "living alone" if he refuses to marry? As an unmarried person perceived as a gentlewoman, he won't be able to earn any income, and he'll have to live an unpleasant life of poverty and dependence; not even dependence on his sisters, but on the mercy of their husbands. And when Darcy proposes to "Elizabeth" at the Collins', Oliver just goes "Ummm well first off you're gay" while refusing him. Darcy doesn't know this is Oliver, whom he'd been flirting with previously and knew he was gay. To him, this is a random woman who blurts out that she knows he's attracted to men, while he's trying to acquire a beard to hide that very fact. His response is completely inappropriate. He's somewhat put out and asks where she heard this. In no way does he react like someone whose life could be turned upside down if this fact got into the wrong hands.

Also, why in god's name is Oliver so insistent that everyone needs to Live Their Truth openly instead of hiding it? He comes across like a spoiled little brat with no idea what danger or suffering look like. He goes around demanding this of people as if it doesn't endanger them and their loved ones. Of course Darcy wants to marry a woman! He has wealth and property that need to be passed on, and a little sister who needs to make a safe marriage to a man who can support her. Rich people could get by with a little deviance, but only as long as they played the game in other respects. How would Oliver not understand this?

Then there's Charlotte. She and Oliver quarrel over their respective life plans: she wants to hide herself, marry a man, and go on with her secret relationship with Lu. Oliver wants to be recognized by the world as a man. So, Oliver could be planning to abandon his original identity and live stealth as a working man. There were trans men doing this back then; he could have heard stories about men being discovered "as women" after their deaths, and have a romantic dream of doing this, which Charlotte finds unrealistic.

But instead Charlotte tells him something completely true for the vast majority of queer people back then: that he'll most likely have to hide who he is and marry a man. Oliver gets mad at her for this. They somewhat make up, and Oliver sees things in a more nuanced way, and Charlotte tells him that Collins is actually very sweet to her. But then at the end, Collins turns out to be a blackmailing transphobe.... and not even a smart transphobe, because he finds out from Wickham that Oliver, whom he knows as his female Cousin Elizabeth, is wearing trousers at home. And Collins inexplicably thinks this could be a legal threat to him inheriting Longbourn. Why? Who in this time period would think that? Also, why are they friends? I'm choosing to believe that Wickham seduced him off screen, because it's never explained. They have nothing in common.

So, Collins is so scared that he offers to pay Wickham to coerce Oliver into marriage as a woman, and of course Oliver, who had never considered inheriting Longbourn before they tried to disenfranchise him, is like, "🤨 wait a minute. That's a good idea." And it turns out Mr Bennet was secretly working on having him legally recognized as a man all along. Through the means of... well, it doesn't make a lot of sense, but I'm not gonna quibble with this part, because people did get away with some surprising things back in the day. That part was fine.

So Oliver is declared legally a son, and good for him and all, but as a Charlotte fan, it feels like her arc is just, okay fuck you girl! Woman can't judge people for shit. Enjoy your shit asshole husband while Oliver openly lives as a man, you stupid bisexual(?). (A lot of reviewers call her a lesbian, but Lu says that the two of them aren't repelled by men like other "women who love women", so, bisexual? Or... I don't know?)

I don't want to be tearing down #ownvoices writing, and I do feel like there's a good story about dysphoria and parental acceptance in here. But everything else is so confusing and distracting that it doesn't work. This feels like it was forced into a very narrow shape by having to be a Pride And Prejudice Retelling. (Just like your waist in a fictional rib-crushing corset, huh?! Huh?! 🤣) There are plenty of modern-day P&P adaptations where the writers can write what they actually want to write around a much vaguer core story, while excising or altering subplots and characters they don't want to deal with. That would've eliminated nearly all of my problems with the story.

For example, a reimagined Mrs Bennet could accept Oliver as a man without the baggage of acting like the canon Mrs Bennet for the entire preceding novel. That was just unbelievable! She's been sulking and taking swipes at Oliver ever since he started wearing men's clothing at home, but suddenly he says, "I'm a boy!" and she not only understands immediately, but says, "Of course! That explains why you hate dresses!" What?! It was even set up perfectly for her to be consistent and say something like, "I don't know what that means, but if Mr Darcy's courting you, you can do whatever the hell you want!"

Good lord, there were some clunky moments. Mr Collinsbot at one point says, "All Of Your Sisters Are Of Marrying Age," and Oliver all but forms a T with his hands so he can timeout, look at the camera and think a full paragraph about how Actually, while it's technically legal for my youngest sister, 14, to marry, it would be highly irregular and unexpected, dear readers from the 21st century with ethical concerns. I swear at one point they're talking about Robinson Crusoe, and Darcy pauses to say that "some of the depictions are... questionable"--and that has to be about the racism, right? I'm sorry, but I don't need your wealthy white 19 year old in whatever-year-this-is to be meaningfully anti-racist, because you know what? I just don't believe it. Devote a little time to explaining why he'd feel that way--is his family involved in anti-slavery efforts?--or don't bother.

You know what, even if Darcy himself were an anti-slavery activist, I still wouldn't believe that he's conversant with the dehumanizing effects of colonial stereotypes against indigenous South Americans. Sorry.

The Lydia thing doesn't happen here, because Wickham would rather scheme to force Oliver into marrying him so he can gain..... nothing, really..... but it turns out the Georgiana thing did happen. We never see Georgiana, so don't worry that there might be a character who has anything going on in their life beyond their thoughts about Darcy and Oliver being gay and trans. Original Darcy is deeply concerned with his sister's feelings, and with period-specific worries about her marriage prospects; this Darcy just drops You Groomed My Sister in front of like five other people. No Ragrets. Hilariously, Mr Collins is horrified to learn about this, even though he came here to blackmail his own 17 year old cousin into marrying this same man, so it comes across like he's only upset because a relative of Lady Catherine was inconvenienced. Most in-character he's been so far. In conclusion, fuck you, Charlotte.

{EDIT: I wrote this a few months ago, and just now, a more recent review has made me aware of something I missed from the audiobook and a second look through the text, because it's so completely stupid: this Wickham is of an age with Darcy and Oliver, 18 and 17. So his attempted elopement with Georgiana took place between two people who could conceivably be in a modem high school together. .....Yeah, well, I can't even think of something to say about that. Wow, nobody, but nobody, has anything happening in their life except for Darcy and Oliver's epic love, huh? The review I learned this from says that Wickham and Georgiana were schoolmates in this book. Now, what co-educational school facility are they attending in the grand old years of 1790ish-18whatever? Be serious, Most Ardently.}

One scene in a molly house (a wholesome one, serving young adults and teens) makes me think it was literally written to take place in a modern club, with someone sitting down to play a brief waltz. A few couples stand up and waltz around in the molly house for a short while, Oliver and Darcy kiss... off the basis of two conversations.... then they all sit back down to keep reading. Why is Oliver so casual about kissing Darcy in semi-public? He only realized he was a man about a year ago, and already he's thrown everything he ever learned about physical relationships out the window? Is anyone in the downstairs establishment wondering where all that hidden waltz music is coming from? And why does Oliver casually say that people with no gender at all regularly come to this molly house, then add as an afterthought that he's EVEN heard tell of one or two trans men like him going there? Wouldn't that be way more common than nonbinary people? Just statistically?

Another issue I can't ignore, pursuant to the Charlotte Problem: this is just kind of a sexist book. I hate to be furthering the narrative of trans men being misogynistic, but it simply can't be overlooked in light of the original P&P having multiple flawed, but developed and memorable female characters. There are none of those in this book. Everyone is an accessory to Oliver. Elizabeth Bennet worries a lot about her sister Jane and counsels her, reassures her, acts as her rock. In Most Ardently, Oliver is the one getting all the support and being told that he's valid and wonderful by Jane, who has no personality beyond which men she likes. Charlotte lets Oliver use her home as a base to change his clothes and presses his pants for him--what kind of asshole is he for letting her do this, instead of resting for a few minutes? She has no servants! There are no dishwashers or washer-driers! She's cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry by hand every day all by herself! She's emptying the chamber pots too! Oliver needs his secret sets of pants pressed?? He can do it his damn self!

Darcy casually reveals to multiple strangers that his sister was groomed and nearly eloped with Wickham, with seemingly no thought that Georgiana might be hurt by this. Oliver is the center of everyone's universe. On top of that, Darcy's unpleasant behavior is put down to the fact that he doesn't like women and can't be polite to them. Because he's gay. This is never addressed at all. He's just gonna keep acting like that, and it's apparently not a problem.

Anyway, as I said, Charlotte gets some lip service towards having a valid point about having to live in the closet, but it's all undone by showing us that actually, she's a stupid idiot who shackled herself to an actively malicious man for the rest of her life. Meanwhile Oliver was completely right, and he gets to live his life out of the closet as a man while she spends her life with Collins. The original book lets the reader decide whether or not Charlotte made the "right", or at least workable, choice. Here, she's unequivocally wrong, and her life is going to suck, and she doesn't even get to inherit Longbourn someday. Oh, and she's only nineteen, so why did she jump at Mr. Collins anyway? She has no reason to be desperate yet. Her entire basis and motivation has been erased and invalidated.

And, we cannot forget the main thing mentioned by critical reviews: Oliver thinks of himself and Darcy as "boys" roughly 250 times in this book. (I joke, but Libby's word search shows 99 uses of the word as of chapter 17, at which point it gives up.) Does he know any other words? Young man? Youth? The dreaded male, even? It gets so irritating. The other boy, he's a boy, boys kissing boys, everyone's a boy, we're all boys. Fellas, sometimes we are grownass men and that's okay.

Wait, I just realized Oliver's kinda screwed as a future gentleman at the end, because he has none of the formal schooling boys were supposed to get, and his dad obviously has no money saved up to send him to a good university out of nowhere. Why weren't Darcy and Bingley at university in the book? This is where all that widdle baby shit gets you. Oliver Bennet: Child Left Behind.

I did laff at the author trying to write a straight man in Mr Collins though. Okay diva... We'll go queen out at Rosings...

[demodraws0606]

My thoughts on the latest episode (aka HU IS THE CULPRIT I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL)

Warning : My sassy attitude is not directed towards anyone else, I'm simply amusing myself and also I've only gotten barely 5 hours of sleep god save me.

This is gonna be very long and messy so strap in folks

It's so obviously not Eden or Ace it's painful (idc 'i'll die for my hubris). Not even just because Eden lying and being the culprit after all of that would be both underwelming and just...miserable. But also because of how the way we're getting the reveal in advance that it could only be Ace and Eden. The fact the cast was already on Eden's throat as well just makes this point even more clear to me.

This isn't like fucking Korekiyo in chapter 3 of DRV3, this isn't how a culprit reveal happens. Especially not when there's so much we don't know yet.

So who is the culprit ?

...

It's Hu, it's literally Hu.... and like 1 pourcent chance it's Nico but I think both of them are accomplices here.

The thing is, I don't buy any of the shit Nico is saying, their admission of guilt is strangely quick and detached. They also seem to go along with anything people say about them (like them framing Hu) which makes it even more suspicious, they could've just said they used Hu's weapon out of conveniance ? The only thing this episode has proved me is that Nico is an Active accomplice rather than a Passive one like I thought. For what reason ? I honestly don't know fully yet but again we don't know a lot about Nico anyways.

Hu's behavior really makes me think she did it and is acting out, mostly out of guilt. She seems really stressed this trial which while makes sense for character reasons, it also makes sense if she's the culprit and feeling guilty. It would explain her defending Eden and Nico mainly I think despite her probably being the culprit she doesn't want the perception that Eden/Nico has to be broken (especially not bc of her). I've already explained how Hu being the culprit makes sense from a character perspective so I'm not gonna get more into it.

By the way any arguments in this post being like "it would be out of character for Nico or Hu to do that" should honestly review their own hypocrisy if they think Eden did it, or even Ace for that matter.

Another thing that makes me even more convinced that it can't be Ace or Eden is that...you can't fucking prove any of them did it with 100 pourcent certainty. David fucking threw the BDA rule out of the window, so we can't be sure Eden didn't do it but like what decisive evidence would make it clear between the two of them.

The only pieces of evidence we have left is :

-The sticky ball of clothes (most likely turpentine because the soil of the relexation room would cause the ball to have stains on it)

-The alibi for the relaxation room water

-The missing glove (which I think i've changed my opinion on what it could mean here)

Eden did know about the ball of clothes (but that piece of fucking evidence has strings attached so we'll get to that) and Ace doesn't have an alibi against taking the water like Eden does.

The missing glove is the only evidence left untouched here and honestly I actually don't think it had anything to do with the glove having someone's hair or anything, mainly because first of all the culprit could've technically just removed any hair on the glove even if it was sticky.

And also there's something else that makes more sense.

I think they probably had to use the glove to avoid rope burn while trying to set up the mechanism to kill Arei. Especially with how high the playground's ceilling is, it wouldn't be child's play. I'm not really good at deciphering what could've possibly happenened directly in the murder but I'd argue it's just more likely that the culprit would be put in a situation were rope burn could happen. This murder set up would require a lot of physical effort, and if the culprit even slipped for a second their hands would end up being damaged from rope burn making them obviously look guilty (also ouchie), which I think is what happened.

It would also explain the scuffs on the floor, maybe the culprit was struggling to hold onto the rope leading to them causing marks with their feet while trying to pull on the rope.

The reason why I think the glove is missing is probably because it's damaged and the culprit wanted to avoid the cast knowing they used Arei's glove during the murder. In fact it's the only piece of evidence that is completely missing

But why ?

Has anyone realised something about, I argue, the three other main suspects here ?

Nico, Eden, Ace ?

They all have gloves.

"But a huge portion of the cast has gloves this doesn't mean anything, it's just a stylistic choice !!" Yeah, the majority of the cast has gloves.

I think now you can understand why the culprit wouldn't want the cast to know that the glove was used. Because if the cast did see the glove that was probably damaged, they would assume the culprit wore it and it would narrow down the suspect list to an extremely narrow pool. This forces them to basically take the glove and hope to fucking god the cast doesn't catch on which they clearly haven't yet.

You know who doesn't fucking wear gloves.

HU JING

My girl got no gloves on !!!!

So yeah, with the glove being untouched evidence yet I think it will be the main decisive thing to point out who the culprit truly is, and I just don't think it's just gonna be like "oh let's just search everyone to see which one has the glove !". For all we know the culprit could've fucking eaten the glove, I don't think we're getting another Min in trying to search shit on people's person.

Anyways I'm gonna transition to other stuff to explain how the Nico and Hu theory makes sense from a logical standpoint here.

Let's get on to the sticky ball of clothes.

First I want to get it out there that I do not think the ball being sticky is due to the soil of the relaxation room. Mono-TV's talk about the "special formula" was mostly to foreshadow the floor of the playground's properties, also the fucking ball would have stains on it.

For me this means the ball of clothes has to have been covered in turpentine especially now that we have confirmation from Ace directly.

This is extremely huge and I'm flabbergasted has no one has mentioned this. Pray tell where the fuck did that piece of cloth go, did it get isekai'd into another world ?

This question actually has multiple meaning here because that fucking ball of clothing actually has massive implications. It confirms a lot of things and also puts a lot of doubt in things that seemed to be confirmed.

Before that I also want to say that Arei 100 pourcent got knocked out with turpentine. I don't want to argue over and over again that it was used because I've done this before but I have to since there are multiple reasons why she had to have been knocked out.

The floor is extremely prone to scuffs, if Arei was struggling then we definitely would've seen more than just a few marks in one area.

The method of murder would have been extremely difficult if she was struggling, like to a ridiculous point. Especially with someone like Arei who has been shown to have been sneaky and very prone to attacking people in their weak spots.

The tape binding Arei's hand in hindsight actually probably wasn't to avoid her struggling, it was most likely due to how the mechanism of the murder work. Keep in mind how the murder had to have worked and imagine if Arei's hands were just loose and flopping around. There could have been possible injuries with her arms that would ruin the culprit's obvious plan to make it look like a suicide. It also just makes sense for weight reasons, again Arei having her arms flopping around would make moving her body even more difficult.

And even if you want disagree with all of that, the culprit could've just binded her tape to avoid the same mistake that happened with Ace with him waking up from the turpentine.

Now that I've made my case about Arei being knocked out, let's get on the actual new arguments I want to make.

First, we know for a fact that a piece of cloth was used to knock out Ace meaning it has to have gone somewhere, if you say "well they could've just thrown it away" I will personally come into your home and shit in your shoes. And you're also wrong because I've already proven that Arei had to have been knocked out.

This means the only piece of cloth available to us would be the sticky ball of clothes.

But...like let me just explain everything that's mind boggling about all of this.

-This ball of clothes had to have been made for Ace's murder to knock him out

-The only people who knew about the old clothes were Hu, Teruko and Whit. Eden only knowing later on, way after Ace's murder was planned probably, because Hu told her about it.

-The culprit used this ball of clothing against both Arei and Ace

-The cloth is suspiciously absent from the murder scene, which makes no sense considering Nico's account rely on them not having left the gym while trying to murder Ace. Them leaving to chuck the cloth aside only to come back to the gym doesn't make sense with the timeline in how we discover things.

Yep, I'm making the claim that Nico didn't actually kill Ace here, I still think it's Hu. Again you can try and complain all you want about how it's out of character for Nico but the reality is...shit is not adding up.

It's really suspicious how silent Hu becomes when her weapon is brought up, immediatly clamming up and not defending Nico anymore. When Teruko makes assumption that Nico lied to Hu to get her weapon, she doesn't reply with a betrayed "Nico is that true ?" or even a sentence she responds with "That's...". The amout of ellpises both Nico and Hu give are extremely suspicious and just make me side eye both of them extremely hard.

I'm gonna go on another tangent here, on the subject of Hu being suspicious. Mainly because I do wanna point out a moment that both makes Eden seem a lot more innocent and makes Hu a lot more guilty.

The subject of Arei potentially committing suicide.

Now, it's very clear that the way Arei was hung was meant to make it look like Arei killed herself, this was very much meant to be the culprit's intention. Both to hide the true murder mechanism and probably to mislead the cast. The fact that it's only an incidental red mark of Arei's wrist that proves she didn't kill herself, proves that the culprit intended for it to look like a suicide.

However guess who argues against this...Eden, which, if she is the culprit I don't see why she would do something like that (and if you say "well why is Hu defending Nico and Eden" I already explained it). Clearly the Eden!Culprit theory relies on her being capable of manipulation so there's no reason why she would be so caught up in her own feelings to just ruin her own plan like that.

You know who seems to really be into the idea of Arei killing herself though, Hu.

That's all I have to say on that, now let's get onto how I think Nico actually helped Hu.

I do think there's still a 50/50 on them working directly together or just Nico catching onto Hu's plans and deciding on their own to help her.

I do think Nico directly helped her though in two major ways

First, the water, it's the obvious one. Nico probably ended up giving the water the Hu here weither they did so with/without knowing Hu's intention doesn't really matter since they're deciding to keep quiet about it now.

I also want to quickly mention how Hu getting water from the relaxation room makes a lot of sense. Hu was busy with Eden in the kitchen and Teruko had taken all the drinks from the gym, so it's likely Hu was forced to take the water from the relaxation room.

Second, the note

Oooo baby let's get into my favorite realisation in watching this episode.

One piece of dialogue has made me realize something

This made me puzzled too, because yeah, who would be listening in and how did Arei not notice when she went into the room ?

Let me take you all back to Chapter 2 Episode 5

Rose and Teruko have a conversation about Rose's secret and that conversation lasts a good while, until...

Nico was actually shown to have been there the entire time, Teruko and Rose were talking without noticing they were there.

Nico then explains themselves like this, pretty much proving this is something they just like doing casually sometimes.

This actually would explain everything on how the eavesdropping happened, Nico was on the literal fucking floor of the infirmary leading to them listening to everyone's conversation. Which tmeans they could have had the information to write the note.

This would explain the inconcistencies as to why would the culprit know to eavesdrop and how they didn't get caught by Arei when she was barging into the room (if they were outside by the door).

Now this leads to two possibilities with Nico and their relation to Hu.

Either they worked together with Hu and they both came up with the murder together. Which means either of them could've written the note.

Or Nico helped Hu without her knowledge, making the note to help her (edit : just realised this doesn't make a lot of sense ignore this).

I believe this is all I have so far and I'm very tired so you won't get a conclusion

Oh wait I hear something in the background...

"WHAT ABOUT THE TAAAAAAAAPE"

First of all, y'all gaslit me into thinking Ace couldn't have taken the tape so I'm already sick of this tape bullshit being used as decisive unshakeable evidence.

You know what I think probably happened ? Ace took the tape, after all it disappeared when he woke up and it's possible that he just then threw it away in the trash.

I mean Ace did say he was gonna "commit a murder of his own", it would be in line with him taking the tape.

Why isn't he talking about it then ? Because he'd be seen as the fucking culprit and also Ace is not really the most honest bitch out need i mention Ace witholding info about David and Arei's conversation.

[yanderes-galore]

How would yandere Vaggie deal with rivals darker the better ~ 

Darker the better? Huh... I'll try my best, sure.

Yandere! Vaggie dealing with rivals

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Violence, Blood, Murder, Guilt/Denial, Delusional behavior, Dubious companionship/relationship.

Vaggie's considered a protective yandere as in canon she acts as a bodyguard.

She's loyal, kind, and has a heart of gold.

Although... She's rather short on patience and trust.

She's a fallen angel and used to be an exorcist.

She's used to fighting, even though now she tries to be defensive.

It's stated that Vaggie canonically has anger issues, yet I would imagine she tries to be calm.

For the most part, Vaggie would try not to cause or act on unnecessary conflict.

However, just because she has restraint... does not mean she isn't capable of gruesome acts.

Vaggie hates messes, but murder is such a common thing in Hell.

If she felt she needed to, she could easily get rid of a demon who strayed too close to you.

The good thing about Vaggie is she's intimidating.

She doesn't have to act rash and often just has a natural aura about her.

It's not as strong as most demons... but many know to stay out of the way.

Vaggie most likely clings around her obsession.

Similar to how she is with Charlie, she's almost never away from you.

She's always around like a bodyguard, spear in hand.

What would be concerning is when she's not around you....

She definitely tries to take a more protective role.

She isn't into mindless bloodlust.

Although, when it comes to you...

Is it very mindless?

For the most part when it comes to rivals, she's competitive and protective.

Vaggie will threaten those too close to you, growling in irritation.

She gets into verbal fights with rivals but can normally be talked out of it by her obsession.

So, for the most part... she isn't overly violent.

However, to go a darker route as you wanted...

Vaggie has access to angelic weapons.

Her spear, the main weapon in her arsenal, is left over from her past life.

Angelic weapons are the only way to kill a demon or an angel.

So, what if a demon or angel gets on her nerves enough?

Vaggie is described as overly protective.

To take a darker route, she'd view her "rivals" as "threats" to you.

This would be her motivation to "get rid of them".

I imagine when she wants to be, Vaggie can be brutal.

She's skilled in battle and has an advantage against most demons.

Safe to say... any threat is gone before you know it.

Vaggie tries not to kill out of jealousy, at least... not at first.

Her first time killing for you would be because she felt you were being threatened.

Even then, she doesn't realize she did it at first.

Her spear pierces the threat's skin too fast.

By the time she realizes what happened, she's covered in blood...

Only to feel a tinge of regret.

After all, what would Charlie think...?

No... What would you think?

She wasn't supposed to do this anymore.

Yet... deep down... she finds herself thinking this was necessary.

She tells herself to only use her spear if she needs to.

Although... When the times when she really needs to use her spear become harder and harder to determine the more obsessed she is.

Vaggie doesn't view rivals as rivals.

Most of the time she sees them as threats to you.

Due to her overprotective behavior, she probably tries to tell herself this is to protect you.

She refuses to see it as anything else.

In private, Vaggie finds herself slaying those who might be a threat.

She hates the mess, she really does...

But she'd do anything for you.

Vaggie always plans things out, cleaning herself up afterward before returning to the hotel.

It feels wrong... Ironic for hell.

She's betraying Charlie by slaying demons to protect you.

However, soon it feels worth it.

It's worth it to see you smile.

It's worth it to have your attention.

While Vaggie remains passive aggressive or even hostile to those in the hotel...

Those outside it aren't safe.

Vaggie knows she should stop, in fact, after every threat she splatters she tells herself that...

Unfortunately, it never is.

As long as Vaggie loves you, as long as she protects you...

It will probably never be the last threat.

[shallowseeker]

"Sam knows some."

Also, Sam is afraid of grief, part 99 million.

Sam knows some. (And usually, not enough.)

He doesn't always notice emotional stuff on his own—not unless it’s a puzzle he can piece together from someone’s actions, or a situation he can map onto his own experience. His empathy is a pragmatic, lived-in, experience-driven thing. He’s spent most of his life at the kids’ table, even when he was trying not to be, and his own needs and (in)stability are tragically often the center of a very small, very dry family desert with too little resources and few loved ones. And like Dean sometimes wants Cas to be fine and invincible just so he doesn’t have to worry, Sam does too. In Sam's eyes, Cas is often the invincible, unkillable hero who always comes back no matter what. He gets up even when he fails. Even when he goes crazy, he pull himself back together, (and quicker than Sam would've at that).

Most importantly... Even when Cas's dead, he doesn't die.

//

In 10x01, Cas is desperately holding his coughs in, and pulls away from the phone to cough, but one of them slips through the receiver:

SAM: The first lead, the first anything we've seen in... [Sam stops himself, hearing CASTIEL's nonstop coughing] 10x01

And yes, in this scene, Sam accidentally throws some passive-aggressive shade about his arm. He’s a friggin' whiner—but overall, he changes his tune the second he hears Cas cough.

His eyes do the panicky back-and-forth tracky thing, and his excitement dies on the spot.

SAM: [after listening] Actually...you know what... now that I'm looking at this more I think I uh...I think I jumped the gun here, buddy. [...] I'm not, I'm not blaming anything on you. What happened, happened, and... you need to be worrying about yourself. I really shouldn't have bothered you. 10x01

But goshdarnit, if there’s something Sam usually isn’t, it’s thoughtful.

He could have invited Cas to the bunker—but the bunker, in Sam’s mind, is work, not a home. So giving Cas "time off" to "rest" and "worry about himself" feels like enough. It’s a bit like how he and Dean treated Bobby sometimes. Sam’s got terminal kids-table-syndrome, with a three-course side dish of self-involvement, tunnel vision, and obliviousness. He is, in short, so emotionally stupid sometimes that it's almost-but-not-quite endearing.

(SEE Jody and Dean in 11x12: Dean undersells his own connection-making ability / empathy... and oversells Sam's.)

///

In 10x02, Sam calls Cas because, really, Cas is one of the only people he has left in his life. They're short on family, short on friends. (And important to note, even the people they saved aren't around to ask for scraps—because Crowley killed off a whole slew of them in season 8.) So Sam's turning to Cas, even when Cas is sick, like how he (and Dean) so often relied on Bobby, even when Bobby was actively suicidal / soul-crunched into his own demon deal / freshly getting used to his wheelchair.

SAM: Right. Now, Cas, listen. I know you're not feeling so hot, but this is kind of an “all hands on deck” situation here, so... CASTIEL: So... I'll meet you there. 10x02

[...]

So, yeah. I seriously doubt Sam knows the full scope of how bad the grace situation is. (Not saying he wouldn't rationalize it if he did, since he's a pragmatic guy. But fair's fair. He doesn't fully know here...)

HANNAH: I’m sorry. I just can’t see how Sam Winchester could ask you to drive all this way to help with his brother, knowing your condition. [Castiel glances at Hannah, then turns back to the road.] HANNAH: He doesn’t know … about how badly your borrowed grace is fading, does he? CASTIEL: He knows some. 10x03

And there it is. Cas is being purposely cagey.

AS USUAL.

Yes, Sam is sometimes oblivious, but part of this whole dynamic is that Cas is notoriously super weird about showing weakness.

Anyway, I’d bet my Monopoly dog piece that Cas intentionally stayed away from the bunker in his downtime, trying to recover as much as possible in order to sure up enough energy to pretend to be strong.

Cas tells Hannah he wants to "say he's fine" so they can "avoid talking about something" no one can do anything about.

Uh-huh.

BONUS SIDE NOTE: Cas also told Hannah he doesn't want help, from his family or anyone else, because the only way to help him is not one he wants to pursue. (Another reason he's keeping it to himself.)

CASTIEL [lashing out]: And another angel should die so that I can be saved?! Is this really that hard to understand? Hannah... 10x01

///

Interestingly, though, Dean noticed Cas wasn't fine (re: batteries) back in season 9.

While it's true that Dean absolutely leaned into a sort-of endearing "Bobby-will-always-be-fine" dynamic, and perhaps clung to an invincible-Cas-hope early in their relationship, in the later years, it evolves.

Despite the occasional flash of hero worship (i.e. thinking Cas could time travel in s11), mostly Dean no longer believes that Cas will be fine...

...he just HOPES he will be.

(SIDE NOTE: In a hilarious full circle, Bobby ALSO expects a lot of Cas... Around and around we go!)

CAS: I'm fine, Dean. DEAN: No, you're not. How long you got? CAS: Long enough to destroy Metatron, I hope. 9x22

///

Anyway, it’s a massive difference with Sam, even in the terminal seasons. Sam has flashes of fear surrounding Cas’s death, but he really, really struggles to process it. MOSTLY, he dissociates, throws himself into work, and refuses to face it.

(Kinda like how he rushes into the Eileen relationship in early s15 as a way to sidestep processing Mary, Jack, and Rowena.)

But unlike Dean, who grows into accepting and even fearing for Cas’s mortality, Sam seems to almost truly believe the line, "Cas will be fine. He always is."

(Cas HAS to be fine in order for DEAN to be fine, you see...)

Strongest person I know!

I think the season 12 script cut line of Sam saying this

and this

is genuine.

12x10 via @spnscripthunt-inactive

Because later, when Cas actually does die, Sam really doesn't believe his own eyes. He keeps asking Dean for confirmation. He looks, and he backs away, not believing, then bolts to address the next mission-oriented thing.

No-way, no-how running boy~~~~

And later:

//

BONUS: Sam & Jack ("Cas'll FIX things!!!")

SAM TO CAS (about dead Jack): Cas, is he here? C-C-Can you-- Can you...?

(fix him?)

SEE also Sam vs grief with it comes to Dean-losing-Cas specifically.

x - x - x -x - x

Here's Sam realizing there's nothing he can do to ease Dean's grief about Cas, specifically, in the notorious Sam-freaks-out-and-is-bad-at-support 13x05... and 15x09 fake future, complete with with Sam’s beautiful jaw-wag of disbelief and panic-tracking eyes:

Look at him, the poor dude. He's TERRIFIED.

///

It's scary that Dean or Cas could die

Cas and Dean aren't just his family—they're his heroes He chafes at the thought of their mortality. It sends him into a tailspin every time.

CHUCK: No, this is more. This is...hope. Ah. That's what's stopping me – you. You still think that Dean and Cas are gonna fly through those doors just in the nick of time. 

(SEE ALSO: Sam and deciding not to smash the orb)

//

He really does expect them to charge in and be unstoppable

Like this x

Or

or this

Everything is gonna be fine... right?

///

...

And later still:

JACK: You can't just give up! SAM: What choice do we have?

[kohakhearts]

goh parentified child syndrome. go(h)

my time is here at last. thank you for enabling me <3 apologies for taking months to finish writing this giant post!

welcome to my dissertation on this fucking Dynamic <3

ok! first thing, let's establish our criteria for Parentified Child Syndrome. this is obviously not like, an actual diagnostic Thing, but there are a million and one articles out there for us to look through. so i did the tough work of scouring those to find some Symptoms we can use as anchor points here. a lot of this is split into "emotional" (parents seeking comfort from their children, rather than comforting them) vs. "material" (parents assigning their children responsibilities that are not age-appropriate (e.g. grocery shopping, paying bills, etc.)) needs, but for simplicity i'll just merge them together - because realistically, they often go hand-in-hand. so the primary symptoms we'll work with here will be:

disruptive childhood behaviours (particularly at school)

stress and anxiety

reluctance to participate in play/age-appropriate activities with their peers

difficulty acknowledging and accepting one's feelings

insecure attachment styles

need to feel "in control"

distrustful of others/self-reliant to a fault

absenteeism and poor performance in school

passive communication style

the other obvious prerequesite here is the family dynamic. so let's dissect that one a bit!

goh's family situation isn't actually like...100% clear. but i have analyzed every episode where his family is even mentioned like it's my full-time job and i have no reason to believe his grandmother actually lives with him. so in the scope of this essay, i am assuming that she lives nearby, and most likely has a key to the apartment, but does not live with them.

otherwise, we are given enough context to assume that camille and walker have been busy with work goh's entire life (though i'd choose to believe for my own sanity that in his infancy his mother at least wasn't working...though given the type of job she has, that's actually...kinda hard to say for sure). we can also assume that they've at least been self-employed for the majority of his life. it's clear that they are fairly well-established in the city/in their field by jn, and since goh is supposed to be 10 at this point, it makes sense to me that they've been building that company up pretty much his whole life.

in terms of the work they do, goh tells ash, my dad is a system engineer and my mom is a programmer. they run a company together. granted, we don't see very much of their actual workplace, but what we do see is completely void of other people. as in, camille and walker do all this work BY THEMSELVES.

nothing in the anime otherwise disputes this! if anything, goh's explanations of his parents' lifestyle just reinforces it. he also suggests that during periods of harsh weather and heavy system use, his parents are busier than usual. this implies that they are most busy during holidays. this is actually further implied by the flashback in jn015 where they explicitly say to him that they're sorry for having to work through the holiday. his reaction, being completely unengaged, not even really even acknowledging it, tells us that this is the norm.

however!! he also shows off a special device to horace in jn032 that he says his parents made specifically for him, to help him learn more about mew. this suggests that they must have some amount of free time to dedicate to him...but they show their love for him through material gifts related to their line of work (his computer set-up, too; he tells scorbunny that his parents set it all up for him).

otherwise, we see camille and walker privately share their concerns about goh (a clear awareness that he doesn't have many friends, concern about him being lonely because of them, etc.) but never actually confront goh with their concerns or appear to go out of their ways to do anything about it. i wrote a bit about this and the symbolism of having him catch a cubone of all pokemon in the episode we're introduced to his family here but the tl;dr is that camille and walker demonstrate care for goh to each other but not to him - presumably to compensate for their physical absence, we get the impression he's given a lot of freedom and little to no discipline.

which brings me to the first criterion:

disruptive childhood behaviours (with a side of absenteeism, which presumably contributes to poor performance in school)

goh's school life is obviously inconvienent to the plot progression, so for narrative purposes the writers have him just not go to school. in jn049 we get the explanation that goh had made a promise to their teacher to show up to school for tests...but the weird thing about this scene is that chloe's surprised by it:

since in jn001 and jn002 we see that chloe is goh's only point of contact amongst his schoolmates and that she hand delivers schoolwork to him at her dad's lab, the only way this exchange really makes sense to me is if it's a new arrangement. even the fact that goh makes a point of saying "hey, i followed through, go me" to their teacher here gives that vibe.

so, we can extrapolate from that that...prior to whenever this agreement was made, goh just didn't go to school because he didn't want to. but given how schools operate, we can pretty safely assume his parents are aware of this. and i have strong reason to believe that they have at least been on the receiving end of phone calls from teachers or administrators, because of these lines from jn015:

all things considered, this is a weird assumption to make, especially about your hyper-independent introverted child...unless there's a history of disruptive or unfriendly behaviour to inform that assumption. and based on goh's behaviour in jn001 at professor oak's pokemon camp, i don't think it's so out there to say the pattern probably was there.

goh is actually a super sweet kid towards his parents and has a clear admiration for them both. even in flashbacks, his whole thing is kind of like...he doesn't want to bother them. they fall asleep on family vacation and don't spend time with him? well, that's fine! he'll just find something else to do! in that same episode in the flashback sequence, they pick him up on the side of the road alone in the pouring rain and he doesn't say a word to them. even though he was angry and upset before.

so, yeah. i think it would make a lot of sense if he were well-behaved at home and not so much so at school. but camille and walker, even when they learn about things that happen, don't seem to probe or discipline him. whether because of any combination of giving him leeway out of guilt or of not wanting to encourage him to act out at home, we don't know. but the disconnect obviously exists.

which then contributes to

stress and anxiety, difficulty acknowleding and accepting one's feelings, and passive communication style

goh is socially awkward, yes, and clearly very anxious socially especially early on in jn, but a lot of that seems to come from an inability to express his wants and needs. i think jn003 has some of the most succinct examples of this - ash having to realize he's struggling and to reach down to him when they're climbing the tower in order for him to even accept that he can get (and needs) help getting up, and then later one when he stumbles over his words trying to ask ash to be his friend.

i think another good example is in jn007, after he gets knocked out at the flute cup. passive communication relies a lot on shifts in body language and in, well, passive statements. when ash approaches him to tell him to cheer up, goh doesn't actually really...respond to that. he does this

and then runs off. which he does fairly often, actually, even as late as jn135. it's emotional avoidance 101. literally just run away from the thing that's bothering you. something else we see in jn135 is him backing out of admitting he wants to go on a journey - because he is concerned about ash's reaction (though i think it's a little more complex than that, but i'll circle back to that).

and of course there's jn062, which i wrote a lot about in this post. but the whole thesis of the episode is that goh has learned through his relationships up to this point that it's okay to not understand your feelings but you still have to feel them. and it's actually a really beautiful character development moment for him, but also reinforces the fact that he still doesn't know how to grapple with his own emotions. after finally finding drizzile and explaining how he knew he would find it there, he starts to cry and doesn't know why. but even aside from feeling vulnerable, it's kind of a culmination of this stress he's been carrying with him throughout the whole episode...and the sense of responsibility he feels for driving drizzile away. which is a great segue into

insecure attachment styles and need to feel "in control"

if there's one thing i feel like people sleep on regarding goh's character, it's how much of a mother hen he is. he's obviously very thorough and thoughtful when it comes to looking after his pokemon - as in jn062 where he spends all that time chasing down drizzile after it runs away, even to the point of telling ash and chloe that they should stay behind because it's getting late but that he's going to keep looking - but he's the same way with ash.

off the top of my head, things like buying extra scones because he knew ash would want them, making ash wash his hands after eating ice cream, chastising him about punctuality, you know...very parental kind of things. he actually does it with horace too, when they first meet, by bringing a lunch for them both when he goes back to the forest to meet him again.

anyway, being a Mom Friend is cute and all, but it also REEKS of parentified child. taking on responsibilities that aren't yours to fulfill? yeah. that's a need to feel in control. it's what he's used to! it offers him security!

the other side of this is...chloe. goh's first friend, who he refuses to consider a friend, or let consider him a friend. but, like, she obviously IS his friend. and yet our introduction to them gives us this exchange

goh and chloe have a pretty tense relationship at the beginning of jn, wherein she is clearly trying to help him (by you know. getting his homework for him and shit) and he blows her off in a text message, which she complains is a repeating behaviour. chloe is obviously very loyal to him, even though he doesn't seem to repay the favour. again, there's a big disconnect here.

insecure attachments generally stem from anxiety over potential rejection and/or poor self-esteem cultivated in childhood based on parents’ emotional availability (or lack thereof) to their children. by keeping chloe an arm's distance away, goh keeps himself safe from the dangers of vulnerability, taught to him through childhood encounters with emotionally unavailable parents.

i'm not here to armchair diagnose (ok, who am i kidding, yeah i am), but i think goh's attachment style is anxious-avoidant. his clear avoidance of making friends, the multiple times we see him break off his friendship with ash only to minutes later be like "me and the bestie"...yeah, that's avoidance. but he does crave intimacy, arguably even more than he fears it.

hence why even though he knows ash would want him to journey on his own...he still convinces himself that actually telling ash that would be, as he calls it, a "betrayal of [their] friendship." my theory is that he's not concerned that ash will be upset - he's concerned that ash won't be upset enough. which is why when then ash turns it around on him and says he's going on a journey, goh gets upset and pushes him away. he does the exact same thing with horace when they're younger. just a complete 180 - he wronged me once, so he's the worst and i can't forgive him, ever.

the difference with chloe is that she actually takes care of him more than he takes care of her - which changes the dynamic from "i have to do everything to keep this person in my life, including suppressing my emotions for their sake" to "i cannot express to this person that i have needs and desires because they'll think i'm too much and they won't stick around if i do." which is primarily avoidant, but insecure attachment nonetheless.

this is extrapolation, but i think his relationship with chloe is so different because we are supposed to get the sense that they have a more familial dynamic. so, she's the one person he can't push away from him - but as he learned in his actual family dynamic, he also can't be too close to her. he doesn't want to be smothered; he doesn't want her to feel smothered by him. so they maintain a degree of separation that only begins to go away after her father begins literally housing and feeding him, thus integrating him and ash into their family in some honorary way.

which brings me to the last point, i guess, which is

reluctance to participate in age-appropriate activities with peers and self-reliant to a fault

these are, i think, the traits that jn is most blatantly attempting to better in goh throughout his arc. so i won't spend too long hashing it out, because i think these are things we all know he struggled with!

in flashbacks, we see him alone at school; during the first episode, at professor oak's camp, he is always physically distanced from the other kids and chloe even points out that he's basically doing professor oak's job at one point! he's not on the same level as the other kids and it's clear he doesn't want to be. when he meets horace, we see that it takes him some time to get comfortable enough with him to go explore the forest together and become friends.

he doesn't go to school, but that doesn't mean he isn't learning things - he becomes a very self-directed learner early on, from what he see. he's not just like...rotting in his room playing video games. he's studying and researching. the only times aside from with horace that we see him in a flashback doing something that isn't solitary is with pokemon - and even then, he's like...reciting their pokedex entries. his abra story at the end of jn is precipitated by him saying he was going through his dad's old pokedex (which is a whole other thing - this implies walker used to be a trainer, but neither of goh's parents seem to have pokemon...perhaps they're too busy with work to look after them? a theory for another time, i suppose, but it has undeniably being gnawing at my brain since that episode aired lol).

and of course, there's the fact that in jn062 he tells drizzile he was never comfortable with confiding in his parents or his grandmother...suggesting that he never confided in anyone, because we don't really get the sense from the whole "i don't NEED friends" exchange in jn001 that he considers chloe a reliable confidant, either.

the other place we see his flawed sense of self-reliance, aside from like...everywhere in the first 10 or so episodes, lol (something that is reflected pretty beautifully and symbolically in scorbunny's story, too!), is in project mew. he has to learn how to work in a team - and he clearly hates it. at this point he's found one person to rely on, but that already feels like too much. the raid battle with articuno is the most obvious example of this. he isn't good at being a leader, but he also isn't good at being a follower. because he's only ever been responsible for himself, and he doesn't trust anyone else to know how to direct him, but he also has no clue how to work within the parameters of a team.

i also want to say, as a final note, that i actually think this is all extremely intentional writing. obviously in the west we have a strong capitalism culture too, but the work culture in japan is very toxic (just google "japan work culture" and you can see right away how intense it is lol) and i'm not actually surprised at all that pokemon would make such a direct commentary on that - a lot of japanese kids could probably relate to goh and his emotionally absent, work-obsessed parents! they are clearly pretty well-off, but their dedication to work supercedes matters of home and family, because that's how it's supposed to be. as a result, goh admires them a lot for this dedication - but his arc is primarily about letting go of the "work" part of interacting with pokemon and learning how to have fun and make the most of his experiences. and i think that's a really lovely message for modern pokemon to be sending to kids :')

[forgottenarias]

OOC || the tournament

since eilia & aria get the ~honor of attending the tournament, i was trying to decide if aria would finally try to get back on her 'maybe win over the varmonts?' plan or just be a huge stick in the mud about this whole event and I think she def ended up going back to her original "plan" (lbr, this plan is an utter and COMPLETE failure in terms of its original intention!) and definitely got on board with the whole tournament thing. (but just outwardly.... inwardly she is like 'uhm this entire country is in shambles YEARS after you took over roderick wtf use that money for infrastructure!)

she's def not dumb enough to pull a complete 180 and be SO excited or anything, but she definitely talked to Cassandra abt it and asked what sorts of things ladies do at these events (i DO think she probably knows all this but she's still trying to portray this idea that's she's trying to learn/be receptive of the varmont ~civilized ways or w/e!)

ADDITIONALLY once she hears there is money to be won she is def like 'okay, so, when all these people who invaded my land win this money-- because she def doesn't think roderick is going to let an astairan best his own household!-- they definitely dont NEED the money but you know who does? ALLLL these places that were decimated by the war and still haven't rebuilt!' i could see her not outwardly saying to anyone "hey why don't you donate your winnings to help people?" directly but i DO think she'd maybe casually mention it around people who she'd think might be receptive-- and i DO think the main person would be @forgottengodfrey after some of the conversations they'd had! sort of a 'you want to prove your nephew loves the astairan people? how about all that money not going into his pocket and out to help the people!?' but you know... not saying it QUITE that directly ;)

idk if she'd talk abt this w/ arthur? she might casually mention smth like 'that money could help so many people!' or something similar but she probably set up some unrealistic (and maybe kind of unfair given how much she knows about him) expectation about him needing to reach the conclusion for himself and assuming he WOULDN'T so if/when she finds out he'd already decided he was going to give the winnings to her mother's orphanage she'll obvi have feels abt that hahahahsoihdsoifdshoisd

and i said this in a comment but i'll put it here too-- aria def did not have plans to offer favors to anyone so she didn't really have anything special prepared. I DO think at one point she was probably thinking smth like 'what if i did offer it to someone who was NOT arthur (probably @forgottenedmund lbr)-- wouldn't that make him so mad?' and then decided that pr wasn't the best course of action. (is it... growth? hahah) but then the day of just sort of spontaneously grabbed that handkerchief (which aria wasn't necessarily saving for a special moment BUT I HAVE BEEN! sfshodfhisdfa) and probably just had it shoved in her pocket until she saw arthur probably right before whatever his first event was w/o anything she went to give it to him again super spur of the moment, not a lot of thought beyond knowing she wanted to give him that and was it one of there intense romantically charged interactions or just something more formal? either way she def spent half the tournament thinking abt that/being worried arthur would get hurt, but also being impressed since even though she did use to lurk around the lists she def never bothered to pay attention to if he was actually skillful?

but also just being annoyed that @forgottenroderick was paying eilia so much attention AND that he entered the tournament AND that no one managed to mortally wound him "accidentally" ;)

idk if this would be announced publically or not but she DEF was keeping tabs on who won what money so she'd know who to go after and sort of passively poke into trying to donate their winnings to the needy of astaira! (also kate since we know roderick would NOT approve, do you think arthur would tell her his plans? or just do it any it somehow makes it back to her asp? bc if she suddenly heard 'omg someone donated 600,000 crowns to the orphanage!' she might put two and two together and figure it out herself?)

[kogane-twst]

❝..Nice to meet you, I guess.❞

╰┈➤ My new oc, Reika Neptelis!! A random Ignihyde member. She joined Night Raven College in 3rd year, so she's new. She's 17 years old at the begining of the year then goes 18 in january.

More under the cut!

CW: her personality, lore & info about her unique magic and her relationships with others

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Personality

Reika Neptelis is a quiet existence. She doesn't talk much, she isn't noticed, people tends to forget about her as soon as walk past her.

She'd be what people call a plain person. She seems dull, cold and nonchalant. But need I remind you that Night Raven College doesn't have a single normal student? Yeah. She's just hiding her personality.

Not in a "Heh. No one knows the real me.." way but in a "Stop seeing me as a cold skibidi alpha, I'm just a chill girl." way.

Yes, she knows what brainrot is, much to some people's surprise! She only show that in front of Idia and her little brother though.

So Reika just happens to have a bitch resting face, and people thinks she's some kind of mysterious and cold person (<- Intj core, she's one). But she's kind of a weirdo too.

She plays video games, read mangas, her room is a mess, she stays up doing anything else than something productive. She's like Idia, but since her looks is pretty normal, people don't notice that.

By the way she says: "I'm chill" but she does have some anger issues. But once again she bottles it up, she has PTSD because of her anger issues and I'll explain it below when we'll talk about her lore.

Reika is very calculating. She can deduce everything by a little detail. She reads people very well and is emotionally very intelligent. At school, she does pretty great, she's not putting all her efforts into studying but she's still one of the best student in 3rd year, like top 10. Chess being her hobby isn't really surprising I guess.

Like I said, she likes video games, but she likes even more having competition when she plays. Challenge her to Mario Kart? (Or any competitive video game) Good job. Sassy Reika unlocked.

She can be passive aggressive and throw snarky remarks when she's playing with someone. She doesn't hide it, nor does she regret it. She's competitive, but she doesn't take losing badly. If she wins though, she'll be smug.

She puts efforts into nothing, because she has no reasons to. She takes everything lightly, except two things!

Social interactions. She overthinks every single time she talks to a human being. Don't ask why, she just does. She's not really anxious socially, but she prefers to make sure the interaction was normal, that she answered correctly, that there were no hidden messages behind what the person was saying.

Chess. I told you she was a quiet existence yeah? Well it's 10x worse when she's playing. Bro goes QUIET. Not a word, not a glance out the chessboard. She's looking only at the game, not even at her opponent. If you're playing with her and you wanna do small talk because it's not a serious game anyways? Don't! She won't even answer. (Leona finds it funny tbh)

But in the end, she still stays independant, solitary and quiet. Just like Neptune.

Her name Reika (怜佳) is from 怜 which means clever and wise, plus 佳 that means brilliant. Neptelis is from Neptune, because her main aesthetic is kinda like Neptune's.

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The lore + UM information

The Neptelis family is an affluent family in the Shaftsland because of their trading across the land. They're pretty well known and rich asf. Not as much as the Al-Asim but they still have a lot of money to spend on their kids. Of course as a rich family they know and talk with the Al-Asims and the Kingscholars.

Reika is the oldest kid. Second born is her little brother of 15 years old. (I didn't think of a design or name for him yet lmao)

During her brother's 11 years old, they discovered he was talented at magic, more than his sister, he had good business sense and definitely will be the next one to continue his father's trading! A total genius! Cool right? While Reika was the ordinary child. At this time, she was cheerful and always smiling, but unfortunately she was plain. She didn't have anything that interested her parents, except the fact that she was their child. Her brother was better than her in everything.

That's why their parents began to be overprotective with him. That's why Reika has to follow him whenever he wants to go out, has to give him everything he wants and has to make sure he stays a good and educated boy. They both dislike it.

The little bro can't even go out alone with his friends because Reika has to be there to look after him?? Yeah, no, he wants some freedom. So when he was 12 and her 14, when he tried to go play outside with his friends — and the parents told Reika to follow him — they split up and didn't stay together. He went with his friends while Reika went just walking around. Around 5pm when they were back to their house together, they thought they were being slick.

Absolutely not. Of course, their parents had some employees to follow them and make SURE they were safe. Since Reika didn't do her job correctly, she got slapped and yelled at. It was the only time her parents gave her attention ever since they discovered the bro was a genius, and it was to yell at her for something stupid? Yeah no.

She was so angry and clenching her fists so hard she started bleeding. She didn't want to fight with her parents, because she was supposed to be the easy kid who did what she was expected to do, who never complained, who existed only for her brother. Yet now she just wanted to shut down and isolate herself. But she couldn't go in her room, they were blocking the path.

That's how she unlocked her UM. She wanted so bad to shut down her parent's yelling she ended up using her UM accidentally to isolate herself and drown their voices and her own thoughts.

She was so angry that she stayed longer than 5 minutes, which is supposed to be the maximum time. You're not supposed to stay longer, or else..

Relationships with others:

Well, the target lose a part of their emotions. Like they feel numb for a certain time. Because (if you read the UM explanation) you know that the target is supposed to lose their will to fight and their energy. Reika uses her UM when the target is too overwhelmed and uses it to calm them, since it's supposed to help and not hurt, she doesn't use it more than the 5 first minutes. But there's a counter for the user too. (Which Reika didn't know about since she used it accidentally)

The longer Reika uses her UM, the more she detach from her own emotions. So when she uses it on herself, she's like drifting away from the world. Detaching herself from people and her energy since she's the target and from her own feelings since she's the user.

At that moment, the poor 14 years old girl she was was feeling so overwhelmed and angry that she stayed a whole day in isolation. It did a major effect on her, because when she got out, it's like a part of her left too. Her spark stayed locked in the isolation, lost somewhere.

After that, she stopped making efforts to please her parents, stopped making efforts in anything. She wasn't as cheerful as before. She forgave her parents, but she's not forgetting.

She spent a whole year trying to understand how to use her UM, but since her parents didn't know about her trying to master it, she had to find herself a way of understanding it. She used it again on herself and with many calculations, thinking and notes, she managed to come to a conclusion and how to use it. (The conclusion being what is written in the UM explanation)

Now, how did she end up in Night Raven College?

Again, because of her parents. Her brother received an invitation, and they didn't want him to go alone so they bribed Crowley with money and blackmailing to allow Reika into the school.

Yes, I said she wouldn't do efforts to please her parents anymore, but going to Night Raven College also meant staying away from them, and she was happy to do so.

Uhuhyahdaodm that's it I guess? Oh also, when she was thirteen her parents tried engaging her with Leona, it didn't work. They tried with Kalim, but once again it didn't work out.

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Ortho Shroud

"I like talking to him. He's useful, fun and helpful."

Reika met him after the orientation ceremony. She was first following behind Idia's tablet. Ortho was in front of her and noticed her sighing and being irritated. It was mostly because of Yuu and Grim causing troubles during the ceremony. Then they began talking a little during the road because Ortho is easy going and Reika didn't mind having at least one acquaintance. The conversation was so interesting Ortho didn't realize he was in fact talking to a GIRL in an all boy school.

After that they talked each time they saw each others, building a friendship over time. He asked after a few discussions how it is possible that she's at Night Raven College, making sure she was comfortable enough to share, because he could tell she was avoiding the topic.

They became good friends easily.

Leona Kingscholar

"I know him because our parents know each others too. I realized we're kinda the same. I like our chess games."

She was 12 and him 14 at their first interaction. Reika met him during their parents' meetings when she was wandering in their palace. She had seen him a multiple times but didn't really acknowledge him. Until after a few times coming over, she saw him playing chess with Kifaji. Being her only passion, she didn't hesitate to go towards them. Kifaji proposed she plays against Leona, she accepted since no one ever played with her. Leona was a little forced but he was curious about her skills. He thought he was gonna beat her easily because it was her first game. But.

The party lasted over 3 hours, so after one hour Reika's parents wanted to leave since their meeting ended, but she looked so focused that they agreed to stay a while longer, until someone won. The winner was Leona. But he even admitted she did great for a first time, that he had to be focused a lot. It became a little habit for them to play together, until Leona joined Night Raven College and they didn't stay in touch.

Meeting back there, they still play sometimes. Their friendship is based on mutual respect and intellectual challenge. After his overblot she was way more compassionate, because they are both the shadows of their brothers.

Azul Ashengrotto

"..I don't even know where to start. His personality is terrible. He's a total jerk. But he's smart, somewhat amusing because he's dramatic, so I'll let it slide."

They met when she joined the Board Game club, she won on their first game against each other. He ordered Jade to stalk her look for information about her. Hearing her lore (her family) though, he quickly tried to get on her good side. But she saw through his mask of benevolence and kindness pretty easily. She finds it funny, but never miss an occasion to bash him for it. Sometimes though, when she feels sassy, she actually goes along with him in some situations to martyrdom tease other people.

Their friendship is chaotic. They can have beef with each others, but they can also be allies and humiliate the person in front.

Muscle Red (Lilia Vanrouge)

"Muscle Red's a good player. There's something about him that reminds me someone else I know. I don't know who though."

Yep. She had no ideas Lilia's Muscle Red before Book 6. After that she'll eventually understand Muscle Red is someone from the school thanks to multiple re reading and overthinking their convos. She'll just go and ask him if that's him.

After that:

"Lilia? Meh.. I just want him to stop spawning out of nowhere. I don't have that much of an opinion, except that he's a good partner for raids."

They met by Idia who offered her, Lilia and him to play together for a difficult raid. They get along well online.

In real life, it's more complex. She hates how he always appears suddenly, especially when she knows he enjoys it. But overall she has a hint of appreciation towards him. She prefers playing with him online than dealing with him IRL though.

She was like 😐 when she realized they shared the same birthday, which is a day that she doesn't care about. He was amused by this fact though.

(Fun fact: my birthday is on 1st January too, I didn't know what to put for her birthday so I put the same as mine lol)

Their (somewhat) friendship is built through video games more than IRL. But she doesn't mind talking to him a few times face-to-face, just when he doesn't scare her though.

Cater Diamond

"...Loud. He's too loud. I can talk to him, but only if he calms the fuck down—... Ahem.. Only if he calms down."

They're classmates. He's happy to talk to her. She can't with him anymore.

They first met, well, in class. She wasn't adamant talking to him, but since she's new to the school, he casually started a conversation with her. He calls her: "Reicy" because it sounds like "Rei" and "Icy" and because she's "cold". Her honest reaction to the nickname: 😐

He didn't realize how tall she was until she stood up straight and was taller than him. Bro was like "W-Woah! What did you eat to grow that much?!"

They're not really friends. But Cater talks to her once in a while. She noticed he's not ALWAYS cheerful and can be serious when he needs to be, so she doesn't dislike him, also because she feels like he's hiding something. True neutral.

Jade Leech & Floyd Leech

"These guys are crazy. No seriously, they should be in an asylum, not in a school. Both of them, equally. No, Floyd isn't crazier than Jade."

I think that sums up pretty well what she thinks of them. She met them because of Azul, but she wish she didn't. She doesn't hate them, but they're a burden to be around.

Floyd's loud and moody. Jade's sus and fake. Like, no, she doesn't want to deal with them.

Floyd calls her "Akamambō-senpai" which is a moonfish. It's because the moonfish refers to being solitary, individualist, mysterious and a hidden beauty.

──── ୨୧ ────

They're not friends, but they always talk to her when they see her, she kind of hates it.

──── ୨୧ ────

From here I'll only do a few opinions with short sentences said by her.

Kalim Al-Asim

"He's loud. I don't like it, he makes my ears ring. But I know it's not on purpose so.. I can't be really mad, I guess. *sighs* "

Trey Clover

"Hm.. I only talked to him a few times, he seems kind. But he has a weird obsession with brushing teeth, plus he smiles oddly sometimes, he's sus. I'd say we listen and we don't judge? ...Maybe judging a little though."

Vil Schoenheit

"I know him from elementary school. He was really kind back then, it didn't change, I still believe he has a kind soul even if he seems strict."

Riddle Rosehearts (before overblot)

"Just put the fries in the bag, lil bro? ...I mean, he was spouting nonsense once in the cafeteria about the rules of the Queen of Hearts. I learnt half of them just in case I ended up in Heartslabyul, but why is he going that far?"

(She likes him more after the overblot and after learning why he was like that, I just thought this was funny to write, don't attack me LMAO)

Ruggie Bucchi

"I see him when I go play chess with Leona. The only word I can use to describe him is "snarky". Though, I like his relationship with Leona, they're like brothers and it's cute."

Silver Vanrouge

"I was skipping class when I saw dude asleep on the grass? I woke him up — almost gave up tho — and I found out he fell asleep before going to class? What the what? Plus, he called me "Father's friend". Who is you father and why do I know him exactly?" (She gets a little softer when she learns that he's Lilia's son though)

That's it!! Thanks for reading! I'll post Reidia too 😈

Tagging you my beloved mootie @waitlexist 💕

[flooper-beloved]

Hermits as a 2-Up/Pillion on a Motorbike!

(These are the Hermits personas, not the cc's, although Doccy is mentioned in one!!)

(Pillion = The person on the back of the motorbike.

2-Up = When two people ride a singular motorbike together.)

Gem: Says she wants to take it slow, ends up being a speed demon. Like. Topping out at 160mph.

Bdubs: Begs to go fast, ends up clinging to the one driving the bike the entire time and shouting "TOO FAST, TOO FAST-". I rest my case.

Xisuma: The one driving the bike, and no form of illegal torture could get me to change my mind about that.

Grian: Doesn't like the way it feels (especially with an Avian!Grian, I feel he'd hate the feelings of wind in his wings), gets nervous at the corners and ends up squeezing the riders waist to hard. Enjoys it at slow paces in cities where it's convenient!

Scar: Yaps through intercom the entire time, points put everything they pass, generally a sweetheart - doesnt care speedwise, but whenever the bike breaks he smashes into the back of the rider. (NOT INFANTILISING!! When I pillion, this is basically what I do!<3)

Cleo: Knows she wants to go fast, goes fast, but very passive aggressively taps the side of the riders helmet everytime they exceed the speed limit in a town or village - ESPECIALLY with children nearby.

Keralis: Slightly sceptical, doesn't trust that someone won't get hurt, but not opposed. You could get him on one if you tried, but nobody has as of yet.

Doc: Would 100% take Doccy on a motorbike. Not a sports bike, more like a low powered beginner bike, and Doccy loves it. Doc doesn't ride 2-Up at all, maybe once or twice, prefers riding by himself and favours power over speed.

Mumbo: Can't stand motorbikes. Doesn't like the sound, doesn't like the feeling, doesn't like the motion. None of it. He tried once with X, just a gentle try, and came off with shaky legs and a vendetta.

Etho: Not to bothered - gets the thrill and the appeal, but has never really found it appealing in of himself. He's ridden a few times, fast and slow, definitely doesnt fear it but doesnt get the excitement.

Tango: Excitement. Pure excitement. Very much encourages "bending" the speed limit, and does little "whoops" of excitement at every acceleration, very much doesn't hold on to anything, but always gets a scare when they break and he has to scramble to hold on again.

Impulse: Not the type to talk while riding, prefers to have some sort of energetic music playing, communicating through random taps on the riders shoulder, and hand gesture that nobody can logically figure out. Generally enjoys anything, just happy to be along for the ride - enjoys views!

That's all!! I'll probably make some more soon, and likely end up showing what bikes they'd all have, and designing helmets.. but thats for another day!

[lochlogie]

There are parallels I'm sure of it. I'm putting red string on my conspiracy wall. With Saxon shoving beers in Lochlan's hands culminating in Lochlan snatching up the drink bucket Saxon had intended to give to Chelsea... and with Saxon making multiple protein shakes for Lochlan and forcing him to drink them culminating in Lochlan making a protein shake for himself and well... yeah.

What could it mean? Could it mean that Saxon's idea of mentorship is handing someone the keys to a car but not teaching them how to drive? He wants Lochlan to drink protein shakes and alcohol. But then he loses interest once he introduces Lochlan to them. His job is done. Which he can't really be blamed for, like with Piper not wanting her pathetic wet dog brother to live with her at a monastery for a year. But Lochlan, who has been conditioned like a lab mouse on cocaine, doesn't want whatever connection he has with Saxon to end. He must on some level enjoy the attention, the way Saxon will just decide to do things with him, for him, to him.

Like Saxon encouraged Lochlan to drink on the yacht, and he's already slamming back shots before they get to the party. But Saxon doesn't buy him a drink when they're at the party 😟 what the hell Saxon? Good thing Chelsea didn't want the drink Saxon bought for her, Lochlan will take it 😅

Saxon more than encouraged Lochlan to drink protein shakes (are they shakes or smoothies?) but then he once again loses interest, though it could be called many different things. Is he punishing Lochlan? Does he feel guilty? Is he just trying to create space between them? He even says "I can't make you a man," which is like, okay, then why did you claim you could and would? Fucking loser.

It is more wholesome than getting your underage brother to binge drink, that's true. Making shakes for him, trying to get him invested in health and fitness and gym bro life, its not unhinged or anything (his forcefulness sure is though). But Lochlan clearly sees the ritual of Saxon making him the shakes to be more important than the "lesson" Saxon is trying to teach him. For all he hates those damn shakes, Saxon making them for him is what Lochlan cares about. It makes it all worth it. He didn't appreciate the shakes when Saxon would still make them for him even though he asked him not to. Once Saxon stops, he's like "I'll have a shake if you make me one 🥺"

Peak dysfunctional relationship lmao ☠

But I think it all ties into sex too. Saxon talks about sex constantly, and constantly espouses his redpill philosophy and expects Lochlan to, if not follow it, then at least listen raptly with awe in his eyes because Saxon is so fucking cool and wise you guys. But again, it's not the lessons that Saxon "teaches," it's the quality time and the fact that Saxon is making time in the first place. That's what Lochlan cares about.

I think it's a real possibility that Lochlan either wanted Saxon to stay when Chloe took him to her sex dungeon, or he was secretly relieved that Saxon didn't feel like leaving. I think he wanted Saxon there, maybe because he wants him, but also maybe because Saxon just makes him feel special, seen, valid, safe.

Victoria and Timothy never talk about Lochlan, they barely talk to him and only ever to criticize him for most of the show. Piper is so aloof she only talks to Lochlan when he approaches her and expresses an interest in her values, or when she needs something from him. Saxon is incredibly aggressive with his "I need to shape Loch into the man I want him to be" thing, whereas Piper is totally passive.

And the fact that this is the glue holding it together? Lochlan gets his self worth from this peaked in high school sex pest? Just because he notices Lochlan and puts in the effort to try to dictate what kind of person he should be? Lochlan get off your knees now I know toxic guys are hot but that's your brother who is almost 30 you should be playing Minecraft he should be at the club getting mace sprayed in his eyes. You are not the same!

Anyway, if Saxon has been investing so much sexual interest in Lochlan, touching himself sexually, talking about sex, pressuring Lochlan to have sex, and to change parts of his personality in the pursuit of getting sex, being handsy with Lochlan and making a billion inappropriate comments, literally coaching him (one might call it pimping him out) and helping orchestrate a deflowering event... like chill the fuck out Saxon.

But it's like the protein shakes, and to a lesser extent the alcohol. For Saxon to hit the gas so hard and then to suddenly brake? Lochlan feels that gulf opening up between them every time and it scares the shit out of him, because if Saxon's not doting on him then Lochlan must've done something wrong, and he needs to fix it or he'll have no one, because his parents don't care about him and Piper is leaving him.

So I think it is a possibility that in that moment, with Saxon lying there (how conscious, we'll never know; how involved before Lochlan took over, we'll never know), Lochlan felt a similar impulse to what Saxon would later verbalize. "No one is going to make you a man, okay you have to do it yourself."

Sure he was fucking Chloe, but if Saxon wasn't going to fuck him like Lochlan was probably certain that's where this was leading lol, then he should take matters into his own hands. He wants that bizarre connection between them. He thrives off of Saxon's deranged advice, even if he disagrees with it. He craves Saxon's attention and mentorship, because it means Saxon cares about him. And if Saxon only cares about him as a little marionette he can play with, Lochlan's fine with that.

But for Saxon to be so invested in Lochlan's sex life, to maybe showing Lochlan how it's done (the flashbacks are ambiguous to be fair), I think it's possible that Lochlan saw Saxon checked out, probably sated from whatever he did with Chloe, maybe still jerking off, we don't know. But I think Lochlan saw him there and didn't want this to end. Because after he fucked Chloe and they went back to the hotel... Saxon would be done teaching him. This all would be over. Would Saxon move onto something else like maybe focusing on the gym? Lochlan would have no way of knowing. And if he's rolling like crazy and drank 30 gallons of alcohol... I can kind of see how he'd think this way in the moment.

And it's almost like yeah preying on a confused, underdeveloped, naïve, lonely, depressed, probably autistic, definitely closeted goober like Lochlan is probably going to have him obsessively cherishing every bizarre ritual you include him in, even if it's not healthy for him, even if it's borderline or outright abusive. He simply does not respect himself enough to question where the affection is coming from or if it's ultimately good for him 😭

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Hello Ana dear. If you don't mind I sorta have a shitstarter kind of question. So Elections in Korea just passed a large percentage of men voted for the conservative party. Not shocked... Lol so my question if you're willing do you think you check where skz lean politically. I'll take it with a pinch of salt of course 😉

Alright, take this with a grain of salt ya'll, but this made me curious to see. Okay, so a lot of them don't really want to share tbh that is okay, but let's look at the cards.

Bang Chan (4 of Swords) He seems to have no interest in this. He comes off neutral and doesn't have much stake in it. I mean he was raised in Australia, but I mean, he lives in Korea though, but anyway, he doesn't care or think about politics too much, honestly, I am the same, so I am not mad at him. He may think like me, they are all in the same club just pretending to care about us mindset, so he isn't losing sleep over the election or the outcome.

Lee Know (Queen of Swords) He is someone who is more logical about things. I see him open to hear the other side and their opinion. He isn't giving me a side. I feel he is more liberal for some reason, or I will say neutral, I think he is someone who feels both sides have a point.

Changbin (6 of Wands) Umm, this is funny to me, because this gives, he is happy who won, so he seems to support the person who was victorious I am seeing here. I don't really care about who wins in my country, so I am not sure who won in SK, but they were the more liberal party right? So, he leans that way from what I see.

Hyunjin (3 of Wands) Umm, he is just showing he isn't satisfied with how things are now, and he wants something new, so he could be someone who doesn't feel any party excites him or does anything for him. His energy is passive, so he can be someone who may prefer third parties to be honest.

Han (5 of Pentacles) Life seems overall difficult for him. I don't feel he aligns with any side, and he seems abandoned and left out in the cold, so this isn't showing he leans towards any side.

Felix (10 of Wands) He seems burnt out and physically exhausted right now. He is taking on a lot of responsibilities right now, so he isn't really focused on the elections or cares about that right now. He doesn't really focus on what side he leans on.

Seungmin (Knight of Pentacles) Well, since this is pentacles, so I will go he may lean towards more of a conservative side. Or he is a fiscally conservative person.

I.N (8 of Swords) He doesn't want to share what side he leans. He may fear doing so. He keeps his opinions to himself, so not sure where he leans.

[sunsetsover]

I don't think people say GMMTV is sabotaging FK; the correct word would be neglecting. GMMTV neglects FK, and it is extremely obvious if you pay attention.

idk what exactly prompted this ask bc i made that post like a week ago and from what i can tell it hasn't really got any notes for the past few days and i haven't even been online so maybe this is just something that had been bothering you? idk but. and i don't mean to be rude when i say this! but i must say i don't like the tone of this. i'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it was accidental, but jsyk this came off as very passive aggressive, like im somehow an idiot for not seeing it. and i will tell you that i have definitely seen people accusing gmmtv of sabotaging fkt and thk, which as i said is silly, but yes some do say that! i've seen it with my own two eyes lmao

like literally today i saw someone on twitter saying exactly this bc the gmmtv twt account posted upcoming events for the next week. now mind you! first is LITERALLY on holiday with his family rn, so how (and more importantly why) do they expect him to have events next week? well when someone mentioned that in the replies, their response was just 'well clearly you don't see it the way i do' which ?? what way is that ?? that he's on holiday?? that he can't be in two places at once??? and other people in the replies were like 'well why can't khaotung have solo events!' and it's like ?? idk maybe bc he's at home gaming, hanging out with his sister and playing his instruments ?? maybe it's bc the two of them are CLEARLY on a break and just bc khaotung is still at home doesn't mean he's not RESTING??

and yes i'm mad about that kind of stuff! it comes off as so selfish and spoilt!! and not to make everything about bts but bts have this exact same issue w some fans to the point where armys literally came up w a name for to refer to these kind of fans: mantis (manager+anti). an explanation of what that means from reddit (bc it's better than i could ever explain it): 'Mantis are antis who essentially hide behind “stanning” so much that they themselves feel like they know the group, and their career, better than the group does. These are the fans constantly trying to "protect" them, beyond normal levels. The type to think they are constantly mistreated/tortured by the company and don't get to make any decisions of their own. Also tend to call out other fans "for not being real fans" if they don't join in on the concern.' like literally i read some of stuff some (emphasis on SOME) fkt fans say and it literally is like. i have played these games before!

and listen i'm not gonna pretend i know much of anything abt that company. i'm new here as it is and i really don't pay attention to any other actors or shows or whatever to compare it to so im deffo not the authority in this regard!

but all that said i 1000% get the impression that there are some fans that kinda... infantilise fkt when it comes to their work. like they have no choice or agency and gmmtv are keeping them locked in a basement somewhere. and i do believe that the majority of them mean well (altho i do think a lot of them want/expect way too much from fkt but i'll get to that), but it's almost as if they forget they're grown men who are more than capable of advocating for themselves. i mean fucking hell, was it not them aggressively advocating for themselves for years that got them put on a show together in the first place? first and khaotung are clearly not people who have difficulty going after what they want, esp when together. i've heard that fkt are notoriously picky about which scripts they accept, which doesn't sound to me like people who are really being neglected by their company. neglected actors don't get the luxury of being picky about jobs. neglected actors are lucky to get any jobs.

(and this goes for events and stuff too, which is a common gripe i've seen. in my opinion - and this is just mine! - people who take their acting as seriously as first and khaotung may not want to take loads of events where they're essentially glorified salesmen. and i mean that with no shade bc make that bag always, but as i see it that's all those events are - extra money in their pockets. i can't see how they would do anything for their career really. and doesn't it just make sense that if they're picky abt their jobs that would also extend into events and stuff too? like? i mean ppl are free to disagree w me on this bc this is just my opinion but yknow. i just think ppl make this into a bigger thing than it is)

and funnily enough i also saw a thread on twt the other day abt how fkt are much bigger internationally than they are in thailand. the shows they've opted to do (again, opted, bc they have a choice) are shows that allegedly don't appeal to a domestic market like most other gmmtv shows do. and so, no matter how you or i might feel abt it, from a business pov it makes sense that they might not be getting the opportunities some other actors might be getting if there simply just isn't demand for it domestically. which sucks, but if that's how it is, that's how it is.

and don't get me wrong i completely get viciously advocating for your faves ok? im an army. for half of bts' career fans were all they had. but sometimes that advocacy becomes a) kinda ridiculously demanding given the context and b) almost condescending. or very condescending sometimes. this goes for bts and fkt both. and while it's all well and good wanting things for them, all i'm saying is let's not forget that they are grown men who are not new to this business. not to mention the fact they have a known track record of advocating for themselves, or the fact that they enough scripts coming their way to be able to be picky, or the fact that already have a new show lined up. first has two even! and a show currently airing! and a cameo that just aired like last week! and another one we know is coming! like my god these are not men who are hurting for work rn.

and in my humble opinion, coming to learn about this industry relatively recently, i think ppl expect too much from these actors overall. i think a lot of them - fkt included - work a hell of a fucking lot actually. i think demanding much more is just selfishness. if im honest. like yes it's nice to see them doing events and stuff. but it's not necessary. and i'll be honest! would i like more interviews and magazines and things like that? sure! but like i said if the demand isn't there, neither will the offers be. that's just the reality of what it is! i'm not going to be sending trucks about it lmfao

the bottom line is this: i'm not saying gmmtv do or don't neglect them. i don't have enough information to have a strong enough opinion one way or the other. but from the outside looking in they seem to be doing just fine. they've got work. they've seemingly got money. and like i said, they're grown men. this is their careers. if they have issues with one thing or another, i trust that they will address those issues as they see fit between themselves and their company. until the day that first and/or khaotung themselves express unhappiness or discontentment, i will take them at face value and believe that they're happy w the way things are. bc literally who tf am i to tell them they should be doing anything different?