#to put it in one simple way at least. from my own perspective. his actions rn't justified still but they can be understood. i understand.

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Hello, and thank you for your blog and resources! I’m still reading through them, but I needed to ask you something.

I’m writing a story where the two main characters aren’t really the heroes of the story. They just happen to be the villain’s target, which is defeated by the true hero, and this hero almost doesn’t appear until the very end. My two little guys are only there to, basically, suffer.

How do you call that kind of “protagonist”, if they can really be called that at all? I thought they may be antagonists but reading your post about villan vs antagonist, they really aren’t. They’re just really unlucky to be caught up in the middle.

Thank you for your help!

Hi!

Thank you so much for asking this question. I'm so happy you asked. I'm glad you enjoy my blog. My goal is to provide resources for writers and help others on their writing journey.

I find your premise fascinating, and I would love to read it myself. I completely understand your confusion about your character's role. Personally, I have experienced that a few times in my writing projects.

Hopefully, this short blog post can help you understand a bit more about your characters and their roles.

Defining your character's role

When we discuss the role of characters in storytelling, it essentially involves labeling. The ability to define and assign these labels to your characters can sometimes be confusing. Storytelling roles are meant to provide a simple way to understand where your character fits and the actions they need to take in the story and the plot. However, there are instances where characters can't be easily categorized with just one word.

Storytelling thrives on complexity; it's not an easy thing to fit into one box, just like how you can't put a book into only one genre. You can't do the same thing for characters. Classically in storytelling, protagonists are often viewed as the "heroes" leading the story, plot or other side characters. But it sounds like your characters are in a different box.

First, let's brainstorm some unique ways to label your characters without relying on classic storytelling roles.

Protagonists in Distress

You might be confused and wondering why the word "protagonist" is used here. Well, your characters can still be considered protagonists even if they're not saving the day. "Heroes" and "protagonists" are different. Your two characters are the central figures of the story, whose struggles and experiences drive the plot forward. This means they are shaping the narrative from their own perspective, and if you ask me, that sounds pretty much like a protagonist.

Sympathetic Characters

These types of characters are not talked about enough; however, anyone who reads a story has encountered at least one of these in literature. They are the ones who tug at the audience's heartstrings, bringing the readers into your story in a sympathetic way. Even if they aren't out on a quest for glory, saving the day, or helping other characters, their suffering, struggles, and conflicts can easily illuminate the themes of our story or raise the stakes in a significant way.

Think of it this way: Let's imagine you have a favorite book. You obviously have the classic protagonist or "hero." They drive the plot forward, are in their perspective, and they're the first character mentioned in the synopsis of the book. However, you also have those side characters, perhaps your character's friends or allies. Their stories, personalities, and their role in the plot individually make you like the story even more.

a story isn't anything without characters, and a story with only a protagonist wouldn't be a story. Most times in literature, readers like side characters more than the main character.

Catalysts

Since you mentioned that the challenges your characters face set the stage for the true hero to emerge in the plot, they may actually be acting as catalysts for change, which is a very important role. Catalyst characters' experiences could kickstart another character's journey or emphasize the antagonist's cruelty/conflict.

Tips for Developing Their Roles

Now that I've pinpointed some roles that may relate to your characters, here are a few tips to help you flesh them out:

Backstory exploration: When creating characters, especially the ones that you are developing, it's important to delve into their histories. You need to be able to confidently state how they arrived at this pivotal moment and why they are the perfect characters for this role. A rich backstory can make their struggles feel more impactful and relatable, which are two elements that readers love in characters nowadays.

Emotional resonance: Focus on the characters' emotional journey, as this is key in creating a 'catalyst' type character. Their reactions to the unfolding events, and the special moment when the true hero makes a significant change to the story, can really connect with readers. Try exploring what they fear, hope for, and dream about. Adding depth to their circumstances can make your story even better.

Agency within Limits: Even if they find themselves in tough situations, I recommend you consider giving them moments of agency. Small decisions can really show their growth or resilience, even if they aren't the hero or undertaking heroic acts.

Relationship Dynamics: I will emphasize this because it's important. The bond between your main characters can add depth or moments of levity, which can really add another great, unique element to your story. The fact that you have two catalysts and a true hero already makes your story fascinating. However, building a relationship or friendship between them can serve as a bright spot amid all the chaos that goes on throughout your plot. This can showcase connection and hope which can balance the heavy themes in your story.

Thematic Focus: Every story needs a theme. That's why I recommend thinking about what the characters' suffering represents in the grander scheme of your narrative. Try brainstorming the perfect theme for your story. Is it a reflection on fate, the randomness of evil, or the nature of heroism? The themes surrounding their challenges can elevate their significance beyond mere plot devices and storytelling roles.

Your character may not fit neatly into the roles of "hero" or "villain," and that's completely fine! Please don't stress about emphasizing their complexity, and let their experience enrich your story. I hope this helps clarify their roles and sparks some inspiration as you keep writing! If you have any more questions or need any further guidance with anything at all, please don't hesitate to reach out to me!

Happy writing! - Rin T.

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[sorcave]

Hating Calypso does not mean you don't understand morally grey characters and defending her does not mean you understand them.

I've seen many takes from those defending Calypso in one way or another dismissing those who hate her as "not understanding morally gray characters" which is simply isn't true. Defending her as a poor victim who didn't know any better does not mean you understand the concept of morally gray characters either.

The main divide is whether intent, her actions, or both matters in defining her morality and by how much. Either side of that spectrum is missing the nuance of the situation- she's not a supervillain intent on making Odysseus' life horrible nor is she an innocent, naive girl who shouldn't be held accountable for her actions. To me, while I don't think she is evil, she is at the darker end of the "morally gray" spectrum as her actions are so egregious that her intent nearly doesn't matter.

Most defenders use the story that Calypso tells in "I'm Not Sorry For Loving You" as their evidence. She didn't INTEND to hurt Odysseus- she hasn't known anyone before so she didn't know! She was just lonely! She just loved him! If you were stuck on an island all alone for 100 years and finally someone came, wouldn't YOU want to make sure they didn't leave? Besides, she apologizes for her actions!

This is a trap that the song actively brings listeners into. It is meant (or at least easily interpreted as) as a plea for sympathy, to make the audience feel empathy for poor Calypso. It is not a simple explanation for her actions and it is definitely not an apology for them. The reason it feels like a "Youtuber Apology" is that they share many similar characteristics. She is intentionally vague about what she is apologizing about, to the point they are nearly irrelevant. "Coming on too strong" wasn't the issue- it was "Coming on too strong" AFTER Odysseus told her no ( "From here you're mine, all mine"/ "Hell No") was. It doesn't address her main crime, specifically keeping a man AGAINST HIS WILL for seven YEARS, even AFTER he became so desperate to leave that he was moments from committing suicide. Lastly, she doesn't take accountability but (intentionally or not) blames Odysseus . "I'm sorry if my love was too much for you" is a VERY common phrased used by abusers to shift the blame from themselves onto their victims.

The crux of the issue for me is while her rough experience up until she met Odysseus may explain her actions, too many people seem to use it to EXCUSE her actions (including, seemingly, the narrative itself). Why this rubs so many the wrong is because of how many real life victims have been told they have to "forgive" their abusers because their life was hard or "they didn't know better." Many who were bullied as a kid had at least one guidance counselor say they needed to "forgive/even befriend x because they are struggling/ \[Insert Bad Thing Here} happened to them." Many others see Calypso using the same tactics their own abusers used to hurt them, and justifiably hate her for it.

I am not saying someone is wrong or stupid for having a more forgiving perspective on Calypso. If you are one to put more weight into intent than actions, I could see why Calypso could be a much lighter gray ( I am not seeing many defenders saying she is an entirely innocent, "morally good" character"). It can be argued that her actions were not of an intentional abuser but of a goddess who haven't had much experience with relationships before, especially with mortals. If her idea of romance came from whatever the Ancient Greek version of romance novels were, it makes sense that her idea of romance may not be the healthiest. Heck, even reading the myths would explain or even excuse why she didn't see "She's my wife" as a sign to back off- for probably at least 90 percent of Greek Heroes, that would not matter.

In summary, Calypso is a morally gray character- but that doesn't mean there aren't valid reason to dislike or even hate her. Seeing her as dark gray bordering on black doesn't mean you don't see the nuance- many who are against her understand her intent may not have been evil- but that her actions make her intent almost irrelevant. So please stop dismissing those who dislike/hate her as simply misunderstanding/being naive with morally gray characters. Many are not (especially since the entire show is full of them) and simply put weight in her actions more than her intent.

[hello-there]

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[mdhwrites]

Luz Left a World to Die

Here is Luz's perspective on the Collector at the end of S2. This all powerful being who can move celestial bodies and reshape the world around him as he desires just killed Belos by playing Tag with him. One poke and splatted him against a wall. Then he turned to me and my friends and asked to play with us. By all indications, he had no intention of holding back just because they might not be able to handle it. No one acts like they're safe. They quickly do all they can to make sure they don't play Tag, hence why they come up with a new game. Then they run out, escape being the only option as The Collector tears bone asunder with seemingly no effort and robs her of her found brother.

THAT is the version of the Collector that Luz thinks runs the Isles. That she thinks needs to be beaten. It is in fact because of how bad The Collector is that she claims to have fucked up so hard. That is the best excuse she has for why she is so rough on herself for having contributed to him being let free, stupid as that is.

This is the world she never wants to come back to. That she does not want to attempt to save in order to fix her mistake. She would rather stay home and throw a pity party than try and fight The Collector. Does she at least try to stop her friends? Try to save them from what appears to be certain doom for them, especially when by the time the way home is open, the world by all means could be gone. The Collector could have the Titan's Corpse be tap dancing for all they know due to how powerful he appears to be. No.

She barely decides in time to tell them she's not coming. Not that she gets to tell them but her reasoning? It's just that she might make it worse. Somehow make things worse than an entire world at the mercy of a homicidal child. And again, that's not exaggeration or hyperbole. By all we see, how it framed, how it is presented and how it is reacted to, The Collector just planned to murder them all in the skull playing tag. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what death is, that is what he was going to do.

And this would be BAD by itself. Abhorrent and behavior that I don't think any person should ever even consider doing, let alone someone who claims to really be thinking about the consequences of their actions right now despite also deciding to make decisions all on her own while admitting she makes things worse by making decisions on her own. However, once on the Isles, it gets worse. She sees this totalitarian regime where people are literally puppets or terrified for their lives as roaming stars go around randomly turning people into puppets while The Collector uses the Isles as his stage. It's not as bad as it could have been but it's bad. It's very, VERY bad. No one here is going to be happy by the end of things unless someone does something. So what is Luz's plan? In public she says THEY'RE there to save the Isles which is true for her friends.

In private, to her mom, who is the only person who knows what she planned to do, she admits she plans to see if Eda and King are safe and then leave. Her friends' families? The people she knew but weren't close to? Just the basic fact that she has to look over the desecrated 'home' she once had that is clearly in need of repair? No. None of that matters. She's not here for them. She's just going to try and see if the people she cares about are safe, or better put the people she thinks were put in the worst positions due to her, and then leave. Simple as that.

She still planned to let it all burn and not to try to fix a damn thing, even as she told people, to their face, she was there to save the Isles and help them. In that moment, Luz betrays everyone. Period. She tells them all of their lives don't matter and that this is too much work. Because do you want to know how you fix a mistake? You learn from it, you try to set it right, and you do better.

You do not leave it to other people, let alone when you admit it ruined their entire lives. You especially don't do that when it is the easiest choice you could possibly make in the situation. At that point, you are a selfish monster who has shown yourself to not care about others and Luz doubled down on that fact.

This is why I say Luz left a world to die. Because she did. See you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[empressofthewind]

/twirls into the room 1 2 3 21 for the ask for one nate river please!!!!

HELLO AND WELCOME 🥰 these were genuinely the hardest questions to answer because I could write essays upon essays about how much I love him but I tried to keep it at least somewhat brief!!

~

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

I adore everything about him 🥺 here’s a bullet point list so this doesn’t just look like one daunting wall of text:

The very first thing that compelled me was his relationship with Mello. I love the idea that they’re designed to be two halves of L, and that he is fully aware of his own shortcomings as an individual despite Mello’s own permanent state of denial. He’s so understanding and forgiving of Mello’s actions, he defends him when he can’t be there to defend himself and gives him more credit in the warehouse than he gives himself.

He also demonstrates this level of empathy with his team, factoring their opinions into the decisions he makes and checking in with them to make sure they’re comfortable when he sets them dangerous tasks. He’s stated in Volume 13 to be sensitive, and this comes through so clearly in the way he interacts with the people he cares about.

He’s direct when he has to be, and he doesn’t put on a fake persona or play into childish mind games the way L and Light do. He’s honest with the people he trusts, and when he has to lie, he does it in the most straightforward, simple way. Most of his plans are like this - relatively straightforward, rarely overcomplicated. He’s sharp and he thinks things through very thoroughly, even at short notice.

Much of his personality comes through in nonverbal cues and subtleties in his dialogue, like the creativity in his construction of toys and puppets, and a vague streak of recklessness in the way he so casually destroys them. His inability to throw darts is also one of my favourite things about him, because of the way it starkly contrasts his tendency to be good at everything else. He can stack thousands of cards into the shape of an ‘L’ with the most insane impeccable precision but he cannot hit a dartboard from 1 metre away. Iconic.

He’s the least arrogant and prideful of the main cast, but he does have a tendency to be judgemental, with regards to the way he freely calls people stupid and gets frustrated by anyone he sees to be a mindless follower. I think it’s interesting though how he seems to feel much more strongly about that than L and Mello do. Mello wants to catch Kira to beat Near, and L wanted to catch Kira for the sake of his ego, but Near seems to have a real, genuine disdain for Light and everything he stands for, despite also somewhat buying into the idea that the whole thing is a game.

On the whole he’s just SUCH a unique and well-designed character, and I love that, for how direct and unapologetic he is, there are also many complexities to dig into if you’re willing to go looking for them.

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

His facial expressions!! In particular I am OBSESSED with his evil little smile 😭 he does it when he knows he’s right about something, and he gets immediately smug about it, and it’s especially delightful to watch when Light is on the receiving end and is just as aware that he’s been backed into a corner. I love his angry/frustrated look a lot too, especially when his cheeks get all puffy.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Everything about his anime counterpart, if that’s within the scope of the question lmao. For manga Near only, I do find it a little sad in the warehouse scene that he immediately writes off the possibility of Mello having deduced that Takada had the notebook. I get why that would be hard to believe from his perspective, but given that he is Mello Apologist Extraodinaire™️ in canon, it seems pretty depressing that he spends probably the rest of his life believing Mello saved his life by total reckless accident.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

I really like exploring his feelings, in a very general sense. His feelings towards Mello of course, but also his feelings towards L and the successor program, towards his childhood, towards himself and his own identity and future, and broadly, the ways in which he deals with these emotions. It’s very easy to read his character as entirely unemotional and I hear that said about him a lot, but I think he’s much more complicated than that and there are a lot of compelling possibilities to explore.

Something I dislike is probably putting him through too much angst 😭 I HAVE written fics that don’t end well for him and I can write them just fine, especially if there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but in general I much prefer making Mello suffer. This is mostly because Near is my favourite and he deserves the world, but I also do find Mello’s anguish more narratively compelling given that he’s more likely to react in ways that are irrational and self-destructive.

~

Ask me things :-)

[lillxart]

Snip from CH 9

“I never asked before, but why do you think Elenwen would want you dead? I mean, you’re really good with magic and you’re efficient with killing things.”

“HA! That’s certainly one way to put it. I imagine from an outsiders perspective that’s all the Thalmor would need from an Altmer.” Taliesin gave a dead chuckle and leaned back into his seat. Eventually she shrugged. “It could’ve been any number of reasons really. My brash attitude, my candid inability to hold my tongue–”

“–You do seem to be quite the quippy quipster 0v0”

Taliesin stopped and looked at her. Just stared at her face for a long time. Then his mind went back to the brilliant notes he just read, and then he looked back at her face again wondering how the person who wrote such notes and the ditzy Breton were the same person. “Do you have an alternate personality by any chance?”

“Wuh? 0<0 Nooooo, why? :>” There was nothing going on behind those eyes of hers.

“No reason.” Taliesin rolled his eyes. “Anyway, to put it plainly she wanted me dead because she doesn’t believe I’m a good Thalmor. I’m not a reflection of the Altmer people, not the pinnacle of bigoted lesser elf hating nationalists all the other members of the Dominion back home are.” He huffed. “Those of us sent to Skyrim are meant to shine in her own image, to make Elenwen look good… Apparently I didn’t make the cut.”

Snow White silently took in the explanation. She put her alchemist's tools down and lowered the heat of the beakers so nothing would explode. The witch found herself thinking of her own people, how she would never make the Spring Elves have to ‘shine in her own image’ and kill them if they failed. The weight of such a concept made her shoulders ache and her stomach curdle. It was beyond unfair and she hated it. Snow White looked back at Taliesin, who was staring down at a book, but not quite reading it. His brows were furrowed and he was clearly thinking about what he just told her, and of course what that meant for him. The high elves are an esteemed and prideful people. Being told that you’re not ‘good enough’ when your whole culture is based around perfection…

…it leaves a scar. 

“H–Hey…! What are you doing?” Taliesin startled at the Breton making herself comfortable on his lap. “Erm–ever hear of personal space? You could at least give a little warning first!” He raised his hands, panicking a bit and not sure where to put them. 

“Oh stop it -3- I promise this filthy halfbreed Breton won’t do anything to you. Just wanna have a looksee…” Snow White placed her hands on the side of his face, tracing her thumb down his cheekbone and using her index finger to trace the arch of his brow. 

Taliesin’s posture went completely stiff, eyes hyperfixed on her every motion as she studied him. His mouth was twisted into a nervous frown, very unsure how he should be reacting to her invasion of his personal space. Ordinarily he’d like some–warning before someone gets too close to him, his instincts from the war making him prone to skirt away or shove anybody that could be a threat. But the Altmer really had no idea what Snow White was doing. He cleared his throat, hoping to bait out an explanation from her. To no avail, since she remained quiet which only caused his face to go red at her continued proximity.

Once Snow White had examined every part of his face she settled back gazing into his eyes. Taliesin averted his stare, acting nonchalant about the deepness in her somewhat simple actions. “Are you done whatever it is you’re doing yet? You’re quite heavy.”

“No I’m not -o- I’m tiny and light. Shut up and look at me!” 

“Well that’s a polite way to ask for attention isn’t it?” Taliesin had never seen her eyes this close and for the first time noticed there were little…fractals of light deep in the grey. It would be wrong to describe them as gold, or green, or blue, but it was a mixture of all those colors. Just pure light. He found himself hypnotized by them. Since when could humans possess such a color pallet? They look like…diamonds. Seemingly satisfied, Snow White gave a hum and hopped off his lap. Taliesin felt like he could breathe again. “Do you crawl onto the lap of every man you meet, or am I just lucky?” 

“You look like an Altmer to me! :D” Taliesin glanced back at her and tried to pick apart that statement. When it was clear he couldn’t make heads or tails of it, Snow White giggled and poked his forehead. “I looked over every inch of your angular face! You have a pointed nose, ears that stick out like a sore thumb, that typical tired scowl high elves have, arched and well groomed eyebrows…”

“Am I supposed to be taking this as the strangest compliment I’ve ever gotten or are you spouting nonsense again…?” He rolled his eyes mildly insulted, though still a bit flushed.

Snow White only smiled brighter. She leaned back down and traced the rims of his eyes, continuing on her little tangent. “…you also have some of the most beautiful eyes Nirn has ever seen…” Taliesin found himself blushing, heart skipping a beat and mind not even processing that she could actually mean that. 

What? 

Snow White took a step back. “Soooooo, you’ve got all the attributes of a high elf! >W< Which means Elenwen is stupid!”

“Poft–! What? Did you; you stuck your grubby little hands all over my gorgeous face just to mouth off Elenwen?” Now he was really lost. 

“Well I had to make sure you were an elf! And you are! You’re all elf! One hundred and ten percent organically grown Altmer from the Summerset Isles! >v< If Elenwen can’t see how you’re not a reflection of the Altmer people when you are an Altmer then she must need glasses!” She pointed a finger up like a scholar at the end of their thesis. 

After a moment of thought, and soothing his rapid heart from the bizarre touches, Taliesin found himself smiling at her decisive; although naive way of putting it. He found himself quietly laughing, both in bitter irony and maybe even a little melancholy. He looked down at his gloves. The clothes of the Thalmor Dominion, the shell that covers him. “It’s not as easy as simply having the ears, the eyes, the skin of an Altmer. In the Summerset Isles if you aren’t the kind of elf they want you to be then you’re no elf at all. Death is merely the fitting reward for being sub-par amongst the expected standard…”

“Taliesin. No one has the right to tell you what you are except yourself.” Her back was turned to him, going back to check on her beakers. Her voice was serious, the certainty in her tone something he didn’t expect to hear from someone of her childish persona. It made her words more raw, and made Taliesin all the more discouraged. 

“Are you trying to cheer me up?~” Taliesin deflected how he felt with humor, smirk on his face. 

“Just stating the obvious! ^v^” Her brew started to bubble, she decided to focus on the milk. “Ohhhhhh OoO” 

Taliesin took the bait and went back to reading her magic notes, the audio of her excited giggles and the scrawls of formulas on parchment no doubt similar to what he was reading right now. After a moment to himself, Taliesin softly smiled. 

“No one has the right to tell you what you are except yourself.” It’s not that simple…

…It was…a nice thought from her, though.

[lilyminer]

I often convince myself no one wants to be around me when I’m overstimulated. I’ll immediately and quickly isolate myself. Yes because that’s also a good way to avoid more sensory overload but also just to get out of other people’s hair.

And how my family treats me when I’m overstimulated makes that idea easy to understand. There’s 6 of us after all, the house is noisy, if I can’t deal with that it makes more sense for me to go off on my own then make it other peoples problem. I don’t blame anyone btw, I understand this is often just how it has to be.

But one singular event completely changed my perspective on what I want, need, and might be ok with when I’m overstimulated. And it’s simple but idk, it showed my friend cares which means a lot.

It was a simple little event. Me and my friends were hanging out at a park late at night. My dad was coming to pick me up and got frustrated when he couldn’t find where I was. His annoyance paired with trying to focus on leading him to the right spot while my friends were still talking overestimated me. I quickly said goodbye in that way you do when you need people to know you can’t talk for long and everyone else said a quick goodbye and I went wandering out onto one of the dark trails with my phone flashlight, a little more nervous now. But of course cuz my best friend ain’t about letting me wander into the woods alone at night they followed behind me. It was hard to notice at the time but them being there absolutely made me feel safer. At this point my dad was sending me an angry text and it was cold and my friend was trying to help me calm down because I was very evidently about to cry from the sensory overload. And of course it was inevitable at this point that the overstimulation would take over and I ended up hitting my head a few times to try to get the loud thoughts out. To me that’s . . . Ig not “normal” but an expected reaction, to my friend who hadn’t watched me have a full breakdown before that was startling, can’t blame them for that. I feel really bad I put them in a situation where they both had to see and react to that. Of course they don’t have any training for that so they jumped in to try to stop me from hitting myself. Unfortunately I was not thinking straight, acting on instinct as I like to say. So to my overwhelmed brain that was just another physical touch to have to process, and I wish I didn’t but I ended up physically pushing them away. The last bit there after the culmination of the breakdown is foggy, they apologized a lot, pretty sure I did too, but I was still in a rush so I said goodbye and jumped into that car with the most hostile energy imaginable coming from my dad.

When I got home my friend sent me a long text apologizing for not doing the right thing and overwhelming me more but honestly all I could think about was just the fact they cared. No ones cared before. No ones taken the correct, physiologist-sponsored course of action, so it still meant so much that they tried something at least. Idk y’all I love my friends, when you grew up in a family of 6 having, people who are just looking out for you, no one else, is so nice.

I have coping mechanisms for being overstimulated, and most of the time isolating myself is actually the best course of action, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t help to have a friend who cares about me around. Although next time some warning is certainly in order before I get to the point where I hit my head.

[gameofthronedd]

"I can't recall any instances where Alicent directly causes a large group of women, or women as a collective, to suffer." I mean she only let her known sex offender of a son terrorize the female staff at the red keep to the point they kept moon tea on hand and she'd bribe them to go away instead of letting anything happen to him.

She knowingly put girls into situations where they'd be raped and abused and didn't stop it. Even as young as 13 you can see on screen the way the female servants watch him and stay out of his reach.

The topic of r*pe and SA in HOTD (and GOT) is always going to be a sensitive and loaded topic, particularly when we are a modern audience viewing a piece of fiction that is meant to be reminiscent of medieval and highly patriarchal times. Almost every character in this universe is some degree of fucked up. As a modern viewer, I don't agree with the actions or morals of a majority of the characters lmao and honestly I prefer engaging with ASOIAF and its world because these characters aren't heroes and they aren't perfect.

On to the topic at hand. I think it's horrific that these girls are being assaulted and that they don't receive justice. However, from an in-universe perspective, what is Alicent reasonably going to do? She can't exactly execute or imprison Aegon and she isn't going to physically maim her son. She scolds him and even physically reprimands him but that's more or less the extent of what she's reasonably able to do when it comes to the prince and her own son. From an in-universe perspective, Alicent is doing as much as she is reasonably able given the circumstances. She does provide support to some extent for these assaulted girls - money, moontea and some empathy. We know as a modern audience that there is a more ideal outcome, of course, and that if it was a world that prioritised women and their safety, this likely wouldn't happen or there would be more serious consequences, at least.

ASOIAF and its world is a rather horrifically brutal world. Overall, I think it's difficult to decide who is "deserving" of sympathy when almost every character is morally questionable at one point or another, and at the end of the day it is up to the individual reader/viewer to decide that for themselves. Personally, I think most scenes, particularly loaded & morally debatable scenes, should be interrogated deeply and from a variety of angles because the series in general demands reflection and close analysis, and simple, black/white answers are seldom found without erasing or disregarding necessary angles of analysis.

I'm not going to tell you that you have to feel sympathy or whatever for Alicent because that's your opinion and I'm unlikely to make you like her or sympathise with her if you already have bias against her. My only problem when it comes to lacking sympathy for a female character is how that lack of sympathy is expressed. If it's regurgitation of misogynistic rhetoric then I have a serious issue with it. Critique, dislike, apathy etc. are fine. You do you.

But I don't find it cool when Alicent is the subject of victim-blaming, derogatory language and fantasies of violence, particularly from "feminists" or women in general who, arguably, should know better. If you don't have sympathy for her, then that's your prerogative. However, personally, I have sympathy for her as a woman given the particular circumstances and I like Alicent as a human and flawed character living in a brutal society, and I have sympathy and empathy for her as a woman and a victim of abuse. And I'm personally not really bothered about whether she's a feminist or a "girlboss", she's just a character I find interesting.

To conclude, I personally disagree with Alicent doing damage control for Aegon and Aegon is obviously horrible for what he's done. You are free to have your own opinions of whether Alicent is correct in what she does. Personally, I dislike it and it isn't "feminist" to be certain but I'm not going to ignore the context of the world when trying to understand why Alicent does what she does or who she is as a character. But, yes, to conclude; if you don't sympathise with her then that's how you feel, I'm not going to change it when it seems you are already decided.

[jiangchengneedstherapy]

Pretty sure it’s been repeated many times already, the reason why “canon jiang cheng” tag was made, was because if someone so much as quoted the novel was told ‘stop jc hate/put it into anti tag’ or ‘make your own tag!’ I feel like that is one of the reasons now that people have been making posts talking about reclaiming him there’s lot of passive aggressiveness in the responses, because it feels like you’re agreeing with that at first glance. “I have no issues with varying perspectives regarding jiang cheng or any other character, I just care that you use the tag “canon” for only one of those perspectives which I think takes away from the nuance of the topics and the story as a whole.“ I understand where you’re coming from, though the tag was made by fans who wished to talk about jc the way he was in the novel, it now does have stans and antis alike using it which you can ask the majority neutral tag users who use it for intended reasons have already blocked, or are responding to them. However, there comes the prev point again, we can’t tell what someone’s intent is behind posting, for example your post felt very sweet and neutral to read (at least to me but I also see why others confused you for another person trying to ‘reclaim’ the tag) and just feels like a neutral discussion but there are still things that are a bit unsure on what you’re saying. For example: “I have no issues with varying perspectives regarding jiang cheng or any other character, I just care that you use the tag “canon” for only one of those perspectives which I think takes away from the nuance of the topics and the story as a whole.” can mean anywhere from you wanting a more in depth talk in his character than simple ‘jc was bad in this’ to..well In the past if someone even said “hey isn’t it terrible that jc declared wwx an enemy to sects even though they agreed to tell people wwx left the sect?” they would be told thats hate, thats anti, and not a canon statement, even though the person would be using direct quotes from the novel next to interpretation.  So yea when you just say that canon tag is not accurate, its hard to tell if you’re talking about the bashing posts that have entered the tag through some antis or just any interpretation that talks about negative things jc did canonically. “my proposed idea was to change the content of “canon jiang cheng” because it doesn’t accurately represent, imo, what the word canon means in the fandom context. considering most posts criticize jc’s actions, a tag like “jiang cheng critical”  most posts (once again, not including the bashing/stan posts that have entered the tag) criticising jc do it in regard to what the guy does word to word in the novel.  Like quoting the novel where jiang cheng uses a dog knowing wwx fears it more than death as way to torture him, or jiang cheng’s own thoughts along with his disciple quotes proving he in fact tortured innocent people who were not wwx come back from the dead even after zidian confirms it, in these contexts, if the person adds their interpretation that ‘hey thats a shitty thing to do’ and criticise him, i think that is still under canon category (the tag was made for any discussions in line with canon because if you were to say ‘hey jc was shitty in these scenes’ in the jc tag there would be 15 different comments telling them how wrong they are and how they need to put ‘jc hate’ into anti tags)  like if we say ‘look how shitty wrh was/jgy was in these scenes’ in wrh/jgy tag there’s nothing wrong about that, but jc tag was too overtaken by fanon that it finally ended in people making the canon tag out of frustration to just discus what he does in the novel (ik im sounding repetitive here but im trying my best to explain haha)

So while i get what you’re saying that ‘canon’ tag should only have quotes, i do think if the discussion is based on canon facts and interpretation is following novel quotes/isn’t something that goes against the novel or what the novel is trying to tell, i think that does have a place in the ‘canon jc’ tag because that was what the tag was made for.

“omnipresent can still be a biased narrator. just because we know about scenes where wwx isn’t present, doesn’t mean we understand or know their motivations or thoughts behind said scene - wwx is the main narrator and we know his thoughts specifically (though there are limited exceptions like jc and the core-reveal). mxtx definitely flips back and forth between omnipresent and omniscient but regardless, biases and unreliable narration can still exist within those.” This part however, is a long known fanon pet peeve because in certain scenes the novel goes into the heads of characters like what jc is thinking, it has info wwx has no way of knowing like jgy giving jl the dog during the time he was dead, there are even scenes where wwx is not present at the time like the discussion conference, even jzx’s perspective and what jyl was secretly doing, wherever its wwx’s perspective the novel makes it clear like ‘wwx thought/wwx saw/wwx believed’ etc, while other times it goes ‘jc thought/jyl secretly unknown to everyone/some sects were gathered and talking’ without wwx’s perspective on things its not limited in switching povs and i get what you’re saying, that canon jc tag shouldnt be considered ‘true’ perspective, i agree, nothing other than novel texts can be considered ‘true’ and any and all interpretations will always be interpretations, thing is how close to ‘true’/’canon’/’novel’ are these interpretations to make them canon compliant. 

See, I would believe that people who were originally on the "canon jiang cheng" tag were using it as a space to discuss his more morally ambiguous decisions except every other post on there was also tagged "anti jiang cheng". Also using canon in the tag is very bold especially when it's all individual interpretations of the character, which means it falls under fanon instead.

I would also have a more positive perspective if the tag was "jiang cheng critical" if the goal was to have engaging discussions but the audacity of tagging it "canon jiang cheng"....

So yea. So going forward, I propose:

Jiang cheng critical - if you wanna engage in discussion and debate

Canon jiang cheng - for gifs, quotes, fanart etc.

Jiang cheng - for people who enjoy the character and/or canon jiang cheng content

Anti-jiang cheng - for those who don't like the character and don't enjoy him (essentially please by sympathetic to people who actually enjoy the character and related content)

[dat-dio-backpatch]

Band Practice, Billy's ending

Summary: You get a chance to have a long awaited conversation with Eddie on the ride back from band practice but all you can think about is what you're going to say to Billy when you get home.

Word Count: 3.5k

warnings: Swearing

A/N: I'm not sure I did Billy justice the way I intended to with this one, I may end up doing another small oneshot just because this man has been on my mind 24/7 since I posted the first part

Tags: @spacedaddydinn (if you want to be tagged in the Eddie ending lemme know and I'll add you)

part 1 part 2

~~~~ You were leaning against Eddie's van, waiting for him to finish up his conversation with the guys and enjoying the cool night air. It’d been a long night and you were more than ready for a relaxing drive home and a good night's sleep, though you knew there was still that phone call to Billy standing between you and passing out in your bed. Thinking about it made you frown, you didn’t know what you were going to say to him but you knew you couldn’t just end the night without at least smoothing things over with him. Previous unresolved fights with Billy had left you unable to fall asleep for days until you’d talked it out, you just couldn’t rest knowing that he was upset with you. Especially when you knew he didn’t really have anyone else to talk to about all the shit he had to put up with, thinking about him shouldering all that bullshit alone and in silence made your heart ache. Even in the midst of some pretty rough fights you still cared about him so deeply that it kept you up at night. You couldn’t really explain it to anyone, at least not in a way that would make sense. You just loved him, simple as that. You loved the way he smiled whenever he saw you, the way he’d absentmindedly ran his fingers through your hair whenever you sat next to him, the way he always had to be holding onto you in some way like he was scared you’d disappear if he let you go. From an outsider's perspective you could see why your relationship didn’t make sense, it was hard to see Billy being a loving person. But you knew Billy better than anyone else, probably better than he knew himself, and you could see just how much he loved you in his every little action. Sure he was bold when it came to kissing you and wrapped his arm around your waist whenever possible but the ways he really showed his love for you were far more subtle. Walking you to class everyday even if it made him late to his own, always ensuring he had your favorite mixtape playing whenever he picked you up, keeping every gift you’d ever given him on display in his room like trophies, so many small little actions that anyone else would probably miss. That’s how Billy showed he loved you and you loved him for each little subtle reminder he provided. 

“You ready to go?” Eddie's question snapped you out of your thoughts. You looked up to realize he’d wrapped up his conversation with the guys and carefully packed his guitar away in the van. 

“Yup, you got Ride the Lightning ready?” You asked, smiling as Eddie opened the passenger side door for you. 

“You know it” He returned your smile warmly, shutting the door behind you before rushing to get in the driver's seat. You spotted the cassette already sitting on the dashboard, watching as Eddie made quick work of getting it started. “It’s been ready and waiting for another one of our concerts for a while”

“It’s been a while since we put on one of our stellar performances hasn’t it?” You said softly as Eddie started backing out of the driveway, leaning over to place his arm behind your seat. 

“I was starting to worry we wouldn’t ever get an encore” He took his eyes off the rear window to look at you, still leaning in close. He looked almost sad as he spoke, it made your smile falter a bit as guilt started to pick away at you. 

“That’s stupid, you really think I’d give up on our dynamic dou?” You laughed, hoping to avoid a deeper, more emotional conversation. 

“I don’t know Y/N, for a while there it looked like you were leaving me in the dust” He leaned back into his own seat as he started driving towards your house, not going his usual over the top speeds as he wanted to make the drive last as long as he could. “With how you’ve been acting I don’t think it’s stupid to worry about you”

“Eddie, do you really think I’d ditch you like that?” You slumped in your seat, realizing that a deeper conversation was unavoidable. 

“You stopped hanging out with me, stopped hugging me, nearly stopped talking to me too. What else am I supposed to think?”

“I still hang out with you Eddie, and we’re talking right now” You said but you knew he had a point. Eddie had always been a sore spot for Billy and without really realizing it you’d started to let it affect your friendship. 

“Band practice doesn’t count as us hanging out” He was frustrated now “When was the last time you were over at my place, like two months ago? Three even?”

“Ok you have a point” You let out a deep sigh, you felt like shit. “I’m sorry Eddie, I’ve been a shitty friend to you and it’s not fair”

“What did I do?” Boy did that question make you feel even worse

“You didn’t do anything Eddie, you’ve been amazing actually. I seriously can’t believe you haven't blown up on me about this and ditched my ass” You said, you were being honest too. Why he was still around and still so calm when confronting you was surprising “I’ve just been too caught up in my own relationship to realize im treating my best friend like garbage”

“Seriously, why are you with that guy?” Eddie changed the topic suddenly

“I love him, Eddie, he doesn't always act like an asshole. Usually he’s sweet, and thoughtful and he's just bad at showing it” You were quick to defend Billy “Besides you guys obviously don’t like each other so of course he’s not going to be his best self around you”

“But why doesn’t he like me?” Eddie asked, voice raising a bit with pent up frustration 

“I don’t know! You guys like the same music, you both hate Hawkins and I expected you to be at least ok with each other but its just, “ You paused before continuing 

“It’s just what Y/N?”

“I think he's jealous of you, of our friendship” You admitted “He’s not good with people, not good at opening up and making actual friends either. I don’t think he’s ever even had a best friend before, so it’s easy to see why the friendship we have would set him off”

“Hargroves jealous of me?” Eddie was laughing now, apparently your answer was enough for him and you could get back to a normal goofy conversation. 

“You don’t get to go spreading that around!” You laughed along, though you were serious about not wanting Eddie to tell anyone about what you’d shared. 

“My lips are sealed, it’ll remain our little secret that Billy goddamn hargrove is Jealous of Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson” He was laughing even harder now, it was infectious and you found yourself doubling over in a fit of giggles. It was one of those ridiculous moments between friends where the joke itself wasn’t super funny but you still found yourselves laughing your asses off. 

“Speaking of secrets” You said as you fought to stop laughing “You seriously gotta tell me who the songs are about!”

“I’d much rather let it remain a mystery” Eddie said as his laughter slowly died out 

“But not knowing is torture” You slumped down in your seat to exaggerate your words 

“That's the point dumbass” Eddie was laughing again 

“Seriously though, who's the song about?” As funny as Eddie was being you wanted to know

“Guess, if you get it right I might consider telling you” Eddie said with a smirk

“Ok give me a hint” You sat up straight, excited to start guessing 

“Well you know the person”

“I know a lotta people, you gotta give me more than that” You argued, hoping for further hints

“They’re really badass and smoking hot”

“I don't really think that's helpful either” You chuckled “You’re less helpful than Gareth sometimes”

“Oh you wound me” He dramatically clutched his chest making you laugh even harder. “What kind of hint are you looking for”

“What do they look like?” You asked hoping for some more useful details

“Metal as hell, thats as close to a description as I can give” He offered

You sat there pondering for a moment, there weren’t that many people that fit Eddie's description of metal that you knew. You felt like the answer was obvious but just out of reach. 

“Stumped?” Eddie asked as he turned onto your street 

“Totally” you answered as you watched your house slowly come into view “Can’t you just tell me? What harm would it do if I knew your crush? I promise I won’t tease you about it, at least not a lot”

“It’d be the end of the fucking world if I told you who I liked” Eddie answered, sounding suddenly far more serious than before. He pulled into your driveway and put the van in park. 

“I think you’re being dramatic” you laughed awkwardly, unsure why his tone had shifted so suddenly “Eddie no crush, no matter how embarrassing, could ever be the end of the world. You’re stuck with me whether you like it or not and no stupid crush is gonna get rid of me”

“I don’t know about that” Eddie was still dead serious, “I might tell you, sometime in the future when the worlds not at stake”

“I hope that's soon, I’m really curious” you said smiling softly, relieved when he finally returned your smile with one of his own 

“I hope so too” he was smiling but he sounded sad 

“Well for now I’ve got a boyfriend to call and a comfy bed calling my name, I’ll see ya soon Eddie” You said grabbing your bag and hopping out of the van 

“Right, see you soon Y/N” You watched as he backed out of the driveway and you saw his smile fall as soon as you were out of the van. It worried you, Eddie usually shared even his stupidest most embarrassing secrets with you and now he suddenly decides to get secretive. But you had too much on your plate to dwell on it long, you brushed the thoughts aside as you hurried into your house. 

Once you were inside you leaned back against the door and took a deep breath, needing a moment to yourself before you went to call Billy. You’d known a relationship with Billy would be a difficult one before he’d asked you out, You'd known that he came with more baggage than most people and that it would take a lot of effort to make things work with him. But you also knew he was worth it, even in the midst of screaming matches and the silent treatment that followed, you knew Billy was more than worth the effort. The way his eyes softened whenever he saw you, the way he made you feel like the only girl in the world with a simple kiss and the way he was able to say ‘I love you’ through a million little actions let you know that Billy was someone you’d go to the ends of the earth to help. Even if he couldn’t quite say it outloud you knew he would do the same for you. With your thoughts somewhat collected you made your way up to your room, trying to decide on just what to say to him. All of those thoughts were suddenly stopped when you opened your bedroom door to find Billy asleep on your bed. Shaking your head and smiling softly to yourself you made your way over to him.

“Hey, hey Billy” You muttered softly as you gently shook his arm “Billy honey wake up”

“Wh, what time is it?” he grumbled, still half asleep as he started to slowly open his eyes 

“It’s just a little after 8” You answered smiling down at him as he started to wake up a bit more “You almost scared me half to death, I didn’t see your car in the driveway”

“Parked down the street, wanted to surprise you” He mumbled, slowly sitting up and rubbing his face to wake himself up fully. “Didn’t mean to fall asleep like that”

“Aren’t you romantic?” You teased him as you moved over to your closest to kick off your shoes and drop your bag. “I told you I was gonna call you, you didn’t have to sneak into my room to talk to me”

“I wanted to talk in person, I can’t say the shit I gotta say over the phone” He answered, watching as you moved over to your vanity and made quick work of wiping off the remains of your makeup. As hot as your heavy metal makeup was if Billy was being honest he always preferred you without it. You were beautiful, just plain beautiful and he was starting to worry he was going to fuck up the one good thing in his life if he didn’t suck it up and talk to you. 

“What do you have to say?” You asked, finally making your way over to sit beside him on the bed. Instantly he reached for your hand, intertwining your fingers and holding tight. 

“I’m, I’m sorry for fucking up your rehersal” He let out a huff, it was obvious he was struggling to get this out without muttering and you squeezed his hand for reassurance. It seemed to help as he continued to talk “I’m sorry I yelled at you over a dumb song, and I’m sorry I called Munson a freak”

“Why do you hate him so much?” You asked, hoping he’d be willing to have an actual conversation instead of brushing everything under the rug with an apology. 

“He’s too close to you” Billy looked away from you as he answered “You’re my girl Y/N, he doesn’t have the right to act like he does”

“Act like what?” You were pretty sure you knew the answer

“Act like you’re his” His voice dropped a bit towards that familiar angry tone as he said what you predicted he would. “And it’s not like you discourage him or anything” 

“Billy are you worried I’d leave you for Eddie?” You already knew the answer, Billys slight nod only confirming you guessed right. “I’d never do that to you baby”

Billy still wouldn’t look at you, but he squeezed your hand tightly

“Billy if I wanted to be with Eddie I would be with him and I’m not. I’m right here with you, with my amazing boyfriend who I love more than anyone else” You gently placed your hand on his jaw, slowly moving his head so he was facing you again. “I’d be a real idiot to abandon the most stunning, thoughtful man I’ve ever met. I love you Billy” 

“Love you too” His voice had dropped back to a whisper, sadness overtaking the last remnants of anger in his tone. “I’m sorry, real fucking sorry”

“Thank you for apologizing Billy” You spoke softly, wanting to make it clear you weren’t angry anymore. “Do you understand why I was mad at you when you dropped me off?”

“Cause I tried to make out with you in front of your friends” He muttered out his answer but you didn’t blame him, this stuff was difficult and he was trying. Especially with what he’d just shared about Eddie you couldn't bring yourself to be angry at his behavior. “Which you’ve told me you don’t like and I still did it cause I’m a territorial asshole and shitty boyfriend”

To most people this would sound like a guilt trip but you knew Billy, you knew that the way he spoke revealed much more about what he meant than his words alone. 

 “I’m sorry” His voice was still quiet and laden with guilt.

“It’s ok, just please can you actually mean it this time?” You’d heard this apology before, you knew he meant it each and every time but you wanted him to actually stick by it this time. “I appreciate you apologizing I do but you’ve apologized for this stuff before and it still happens”

“I mean it Y/N, I’m gonna do better” He was still muttering but you knew he was telling the truth, this wasn’t him just trying to placate you. 

“I love you Billy” You leaned forward to kiss him, gently cupping his face with your free hand as he leaned into the kiss. He didn’t try to deepen the kiss or take it further, instead he kept it light and soft. This was a level of tenderness Billy only displayed at night during these soft, whispered conversations. You hummed lightly as you felt Billy wrap his arm around you and pull you tight against him, breaking the kiss to bury his face in your shoulder. 

“I love you Y/N” He was so quiet now, he always got quiet when he was vulnerable “I don’t know why this shits so hard, I want to be good for you I do, but I just,”

“It’s ok Billy” You placed a soft kiss on his temple and held him tighter “I know you’re trying, I notice how much better you’ve gotten with stuff like this and I appreciate it more than you know. I don’t say it enough but it means the world to me that you’re putting in all this effort for me.”

“I feel like I’m not enough” Hearing that whispered confession nearly broke your heart 

“Billy baby you’re more than enough, You’re incredible, you’re everything I could ever ask for” You were quick to reassure him, gently lifting him from your shoulder so you could look him in the eye. “Billy I love you so very much, I love you for trying, I love you for all the progress you’ve made, I love you because you do things like park halfway down my street just so you can surprise me like this. You’re amazing in so many ways”

Billy didn’t say anything, he just leaned forward and kissed you. This time he deepened the kiss quickly, moving one hand to your lower back as the other found its way to the side of your face. You kissed back passionately, holding onto him tightly as the last of your anger and frustration melted away. You knew there was still a long way to go until Billy stopped picking fights with Eddie, a long way to go until Billy stopped having a problem with all the time you spent at band practice, a long way to go until all the little things that made your relationship seem so hard at times were resolved. But right now, with Billy holding you so gently as you lost yourself in his kiss, nothing mattered to you except the moment you were sharing together. The fight at practice faded into the background, Eddie's bizarre secrecy over the song ceased to matter, everything and anything that wasn’t about Billy and how soft his lips felt against your own meant nothing. These were the moments that proved just how far the two of you had come together and these were the moments that only strengthened your desire to keep fighting to make things work with Billy. It was here, in this whispered conversations and heartwarmingly soft embraces, that you were able to see Billy clearly. It was here that Billy dropped his defensive act, his territorial behavior and any survival instincts life had forced him to learn far too young, and here you could see the man you loved more than you’d ever be able to express. You felt honored each time Billy showed himself to you like this, knowing he had never before been able to trust someone with this level of vulnerability and if you were being honest with yourself you too had never trusted anyone the way you trusted Billy. 

“I ever tell you that you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen?” Billy asked briefly

pulling away from the kiss, his eyes were sparkling a bit with tears but his lips were pulled up into the brightest smile you’d ever seen.

“I ever tell you that you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen?” You asked, relishing in the honey sweet sound of Billy's small chuckle. You moved your hand upwards to gently play with his curls as he pulled you back in to resume the kiss simultaneously tugging you closer until you were sitting in his lap. He had his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, as if he couldn’t get you close enough. It was one of his small, subtle, ways of saying ‘I love you’, ‘I need you’ and you responded by holding onto him just as tightly, still gently playing with his hair. As if reading each other's minds the two of you moved to lay down, not breaking the kiss for a second. As you let yourself melt into the feeling of the kiss, of Billy's arms still wrapped around you keeping you pressed close against him, all you could think about was how much you loved him and how perfect everything was in this one enchanting moment.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Reiji Ecstasy [Epilogue]

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

Monologue

When the time came,

were heartlessly pulled apart. 

As I was being chased out of the Church,

I caught sight of a familiar face in the corner of my eye. 

This instantly lit a fire in me, (1)

after my heart had hit rock bottom. 

ー Yui is thrown out of the Church

*Rustle*

Yui: ...!

Male Clergyman A: ...Now scram. 

Yui: Wait! Let me see my Father...Let me see the Priest!

Please let me talk to him...Even if only for a few minutes...!

Male Clergyman B: We have been told not to listen to the nonsense spouted by a woman who let herself get won over by Demons. 

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: Eh...?

Male Clergyman A: Your request for an audience has been refuted. You are no longer welcome here. 

He says that he has no daughter. And that he has nothing to say to a Witch.

Yui: No way...

( I guess Father really has changed, just like Reiji-san said. )

( Or did I simply not know his true nature? )

Male Clergyman A: ...Take this letter and leave. 

*Rustle*

Yui: Eh...?

( This is Father’s handwriting...! )

*Flip*

Yui: ( This is... )

Monologue

ーー I pity you from the bottom of my heart,

knowing how much you have changed. 

However, it is not your fault. 

The only person to blame here,

is the Vampire King who deceived you. 

I shall avenge you. 

*Rustle*

Yui: ( ...I got it all wrong. Father has not changed one bit. )

( I’m the one who changed. )

( I cannot deny that from a young age onwards, I perceived Demons as evildoers who should be avoided at all costs. )

( However, through interacting with them, I gradually began to change my mind. )

( While there were times where I was treated horribly or their outrageous actions left me speechless. )

( Still, is their nature to blame for that? ...They each have their own distinct personalities, just like we do. )

( That’s what I came to believe. )

...Am I the odd one? 

*Rustle*

Yui: ( ...I’m not. )

ー A flashback ensues

Reiji: However, that was a mistake on my part. There was just no way...I would ever be able to cope with it. 

I have come to realize...That there is something much more important to me than these powers...And that something, is you.

ー The flashback ends

Yui: ( It wasn’t Father who guided me down the right path when I was ignorant. )

( He taught me many things. )

( And right now, the only person whose hand I want to take and spend the rest of my life with...is Reiji-san. )

( I refuse to believe that my love for Reiji-san is wrong. )

( I am certain of that. ...That is the only justification I need, right? )

ー The scene shifts to the guest room of Kino’s manor

Yuuri: What are you hoping to achieve by having the Vampire King be executed? 

Kino: Hm? It’s simple. 

I can’t imagine that Sakamaki Reiji had already chosen a successor to his powers at this point in time. 

Therefore, if I take his powers which will be left behind after he is executed, everything will get solved at once. 

Yuuri: However, I cannot imagine the people from the Church and the other Demons will simply stay quiet and let that happen? 

Kino: I mean, I’ll just find a way to talk my way out of it. I’ll pretend to want the best for them. 

Having the Church and the Vibora band together to defeat the Adler and the Wolves as we previously discussed seems like the most ideal perspective, right? 

So once they’ve wiped out both clans, I’ll kill Zweig and then it’ll be game over.

I’ll be able to get my hands on an immense amount of power without having to put in too much effort. This is what smart people do. ...Wouldn’t you agree? 

Yuuri: Yes, you are right. I expected no less from you, Kino. ...Simply wonderful. 

ー The scene shifts to the living room of the Mukami manor

Ayato: Phew~ I can lounge around for the first time in what feels like forever.

Kou: Excuse me? I think you’re getting a little too comfortable over there, plopping down on the couch with your legs up in the air over at someone else’s place. Can’t you have at least a little restraint?

Ayato: Nah. ...So, have you come up with a good plan to save Reiji yet?

Subaru: Che. Says the one who hasn’t even put in any effort to think of somethin’ himself. 

Ayato: I mean, not my fault that I can’t think of anythin’, right?

Kanato: For now, why don’t we set the Church on fire?

Azusa: And what will you do after that...?

Kanato: I don’t know. You guys should think of that.

Yuma: Hahー ...I’m pretty sure this strategy meeting could have gone somewhere if Ruki was here at least. 

Laito: That guy sure is a weirdo, staying behind all by himself in Eden as the whole place breaks down.

Yuma: Just let him do his thing. ...Well, I guess the most realistic plan is to find an opening and get him outta there on the day of his execution. 

Yui: Yeah...I believe so too. We’ll only have one shot but...I truly don’t think we have any other option. 

Azusa: Right...

Shuu: ...And will he be okay with that?

Yui: I don’t know. But I really don’t think there’s any reason why Reiji-san should have to take responsibility. 

( He is only feeling hopeless because he compares himself to Karlheinz-san who was simply too overwhelming. )

( However, Reiji-san has plenty of good traits as well. For example, the ability to feel which God could never achieve. )

( That’s why I believe that he shouldn’t lose his life here. )

( Even if he loses his authority and home, he can always start over from scratch. )

( Of course, I’m aware that it won’t be easy...But I don’t want to give up. )

Laito: ...I really don’t want him to just peace out and leave us to clean up his mess, to be honest. 

Subaru: No way we’re lettin’ him find peace while the rest of us don’t. ...I’m gonna prevent that. 

Kou: Ahaha~ Look who’s not being honest with himself again.

Subaru: S-Shut up!

Yui: You guys...!

( Reiji-san, everyone has got your back. So...Wait for us, okay? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the forest

Yui: ( ...There he is, it’s Reiji-san. )

Ayato: Hm? He’s got somethin’ ‘round his wrists. 

Yui: Apparently he can’t use his powers while wearing those. 

Yuma: Ya wouldn’t guess from seein’ them. 

Kou: Shh. ...They’re talking about something. 

Seiji: ...I suppose I shall listen to the pathetic Vampire King’s final wish. 

Reiji: I am grateful for that. Well then...

You’re there, aren’t you!?

Seiji: You fiend, what are you doing!?

Reiji: If you are, please show yourself!

Yui: ( Could it be... )

Azusa: Eve...

Subaru: ...Get goin’. 

Yui: ...Yeah.

ー Yui steps out of the bushes

*Rustle*

On certain CGs, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“If I had to name one regret I will have...It would be that I will no longer be able to directly touch you with these hands.”

“You get to be here to witness this joyous occasion with me. I honestly do not think I have ever felt so honored before.”

Yui: Reiji-san...

Reiji: I am glad...that I am able to see you one final time. 

Yui: Please don’t say that!

I don’t want that. ...I could never cope with it!

Reiji: Those born as a human know that everyone’s life will to come to an end one day, no? Please think of it that way.

Yui: I can’t...I just can’t, knowing that Vampires are otherwise immortal.

Reiji: ...In the past, I would often find myself pondering over how I would spend the rest of my eternal life after losing you. 

I wonder just how many times I wished...that you could be an immortal just like me? 

Yui: Uu...

Reiji: However, I get to part with this World first, no longer having to worry about any of those things. I honestly could not be any happier.

Yui: Don’t say that...

Reiji: To us, death marks the beginning of a celebration. Therefore, I would like you to smile during my final moments. 

I would like your smiling face to be the last I see of you before I die. 

Also...

ー One of the Clergymen approaches Yui

Yui: ...What?

Male Cleryman A: Take this sword. 

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: W-What am I supposed to do with this...?

Reiji: ...This is my final request. Please end my life. 

Yui: Eh? 

Reiji: I would like to chop off my head, using that silver sword. 

Yui: I could never! No way...Why would you ask that of me...!? 

Reiji: You should be the one taking my life. ...Listen closely. 

*Rustle*

Reiji: Through meeting you, I was able to feel many different emotions. 

After experiencing joy, pain, grief all together, it was only then that for the first time, I realized just how powerful and precious the feeling of loving someone truly is. 

...While I failed to become a God like Father once was, unable to toss those feelings aside. 

I am grateful that in return, I was able to choose my own path in life. 

Yui: I...feel the same way. You were the first person I’ve ever loved this much...and you will be the last. 

Reiji: I truly am glad...that you gave me a chance to experience the feeling of satisfaction that comes from loving and being loved by someone. 

That is exactly why...I want you to be the one to kill me. 

I simply cannot think of another end for me.

Yui: ...

Reiji: May you please, with your very own hands...

Monologue

As he looks me straight in the eyes,

I break out in a sweat. 

My knees start shaking,

but I simply cannot run away now.

With the inside of my mind having gone blank,

I simply stood there frozen in place. 

ー The scene shifts to the World Tree in Eden

Ruki: ...Eden is crying.

*Rumble rumble* 

Ruki: ...? ...The castle is falling apart...

Almost as if it is lamenting over the execution of its owner? 

However...I feel as if these cries are different from the ones I heard before? 

I assume he is with her right now? He must feel internally at peace while looking death in the eyes. 

...The irony. 

...Karlheinz-sama. You truly were a God, were you not?

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) I did some research on the expression 心に火がつく which literally means ‘to lit one’s heart on fire’ and I found that it can be used in a variety of different context to express both a burning passion as well as intense anger. In Yui’s case, I believe it refers to her experiencing strong emotions (probably a mixture of both happiness and anger) upon seeing her Father. 

[wastelandlovingscenarios]

I want this to be a short request but how would crushing!companions react to sole who holds their hand whenever they get scared and it slowly turns into a habit for them to always hold onto his hand?

omg this is literally so cute, bye. 🥺💗 i hope you enjoy, anon.

to keep it short, i’ll just write their reactions to when sole holds their hand and i will put ‘companions react to sole holding their hand as a habit’ in a separate post! <3

-

Danse:

it’s nothing new in his life— he’s experienced his fair share of people holding onto him during stressful and terrifying situations, so it’s something he’s used to. however, sole is an exception in this case. it’s been quite a while since he’s caught feelings for his companion, so it’s different in certain situations with them.

when they first get startled and hold his hand, he tenses up, his mind going completely blank as they wrap their fingers around his palm. though millions of people have done the same action to him in the past, this one feels different and he swears it makes him feel emotions he’s never truly felt before. before he can question what their intentions were, he noticed how they drew closer to him, eyes frantically scanning their surroundings and he realizes that there may have been an uncomfortable presence around.

so danse slowly takes a breath and squeezes their hand in return, looking down at them with red cheeks and a nervous expression. “you’re safe, don’t worry. if there appears to be any threat within our vacinity, i will neutralize it as best as i can.” when they look at him with a relieved smile, he feels his heart swell with emotions he’s never felt in his lifetime. he doesn’t dare to let go until sole feels safe enough to do so and even when they do, he fights the urge to take their hand in his once more.

instead, he impatiently waits for the next time he has the chance to hold their hand in his again, already excited though he refuses to admit it.

Deacon:

deacons not a very affection man nor has he received any affection from any other individual besides his late other half. To say this situation was terrifying for him was an understatement. he’s probably already dreading the fact that he has an unavoidable crush for his companion, not wanting to deal with that type of stress no longer.

the first time his crush rushes to hold his hand out of fear of their surroundings, he immediately pulls away out of habit and stares at them with a lump in his throat, words scrambled and refusing to leave his mouth for a moment. “i-, uh-“

with a mortified expression, sole waves it off with a flush on their face and an embarrassed tone, “shit i’m sorry. it’s just a habit, please don’t mind me.” they slowly distance themselves away from him and deacon quickly gets his act together, inwardly panicking that he may have hurt their feelings unintentionally. “no, it’s fine. i just- uh.” they tilt their head with a confused expression and instead of explaining himself, he lets out a soft apology and awkwardly goes on his way to save him the embarrassment. when he thinks about it later, he feels a pang of guilt hit him and realizes he may have been too harsh, so he tries to make an exception.

next time around, when sole does accidentally jump to grab his hand, it takes him a moment to calm himself down but does gather the courage to return the gesture. he would notice the surprised expression on soles face, and even though he’s internally losing it, he musters up the same shit eating smile he always has and cracks a joke; “charmer, i know it’s hard to stay away from me, but you could at least try.” when sole doesn’t respond and sends him a confused expression, he gives them a small smile and tugs their hand, “that’s okay though, i don’t mind. good ol’ deeks will scare the monsters away.”

when sole lets out a small chuckle, he feels himself grow agitated and immediately whips around to hide the blush on his face as he drags sole along with him. “we better get going if we wanna get outta this scary place. yknow, before you jump out of your shoes.”

Maccready:

he’s very to himself in most situations and values his personal space just as much as most people do in the commonwealth. he believes in a personal bubble and really enforces that idea, respecting his own personal space as well as others. however in this case, mac is probably just as scared as sole is, though he may be a lot better at hiding it.

when sole does grab his hand, he doesn’t give attention to it at first due to him being scared as well but when he does notice them showing signs of fear, he tries to reassure them, even though he’s flustered at the sudden contact. with a deep breath, he sucks in his negative emotions and decides to step up to bring comfort to them.

“hey, you okay?” when sole doesn’t respond, he just pulls them closer and squeezes their hand gently to grab their attention. when they do look at him, he smiles awkwardly, a inevitable blush dusting his cheeks. “earth to sole?”

when they explain their habit of doing so, he tries to lighten the mood by telling stories about his life in the capital wasteland and how he felt during his time at little lamplight, letting them know that he had similar fears and still continues to have them despite him experiencing the wasteland for years.

soon enough, their hands naturally find home in each other as they both continue exchanging similar experiences they’ve had, laughter filling the silence that sole feared just moments back.

Hancock:

hancocks a very touchy man and people do show him quite a lot of affection, so just like danse, he’s used to the constant attention others show him, only this time, the perspective is a little different. he enjoys it far more than other companions and doesn’t mind when they rush to hold his hand, though it catches him off guard.

for a moment, he processes the events occurring but once he does, he lets out a soft smile and a chuckles under his breath. he wants to let out a flirtatious comment or two, but fights the urge and instead, soothes their fear instead of embarrassing them.

“don’t worry, sunshine. you know i wouldn’t let anyone hurt you.” he’d rub his thumb against their knuckles and smiles when he sees the tenseness in their body melt away. “in fact..”

when he lets go of their hand, he sees the panic grow on their face and lets out a small chuckle. with a swift movement, he gently throws his arm over their shoulder and pulls them closer, rubbing their arm reassuringly.

“.. this might be a little more comforting. no matter what happens, i’ll always be ready to protect you this way. don’t you agree?” when they chuckle and nod at his suggestion, he pulls them closer to his body, whispering loud enough for them to hear.

“ ‘m always here for you, sunshine. you don’t ever have to be scared, especially with me around. don’t ever feel like you have to hide it from me.” sole lets out a small hum before leaning into his touch, trusting every word that left his mouth.

Nick Valentine:

nick is very understanding with a situation like this and doesn’t mind it one bit. though he does get a bit flustered, he tries to play out the scenario in a way where they won’t feel embarrassed about the events occurring. he’s aware that everyone has their fair share of fears, no matter how tough you play out to be.

“things can get pretty scary around here, i know.” when he smiles down at them, they feel a sense of ease and relax into his touch instead of having the urge to pull away. “waking up 200 years later in a completely different life will do that to you.”

sole would sigh and hold his hand tighter, their voice barely a whisper as their cheeks flush with embarrassment. “i wonder how you do it sometimes.”

nick lets out a small laugh at their reaction. “it wasn’t always like this, sweetheart. i was just as scared as you, maybe even worse.” sole looks at him with curiosity as he continues on, “theres always something new everyday but soon you’ll learn how to adapt to it.”

“you think so?”

“i know so.” his words are full of reassurance and comfort, allowing sole to let go of any negative feelings that filled their chest.

“good thing i have the best companion in the wasteland to guide me around this hellhole.” sole puts it out as a joke, but knows a part of it was the truth that she was wholeheartedly grateful for.

he proceeded to rub his thumb on their knuckles, feeling a sense of happiness in their comment, “i’ll do my best to meet your expectations, partner.”

Preston:

poor boy. he’d be a blushing mess if sole were to ever do something as simple as this. if they were to dart to grab his hand, even out of fear, he’d stutter in confusion, obviously flustered at the idea of them latching onto him. “w-what are you d-doing?”

his body would immediately freeze upon contact, stopping in his tracks despite the possibility of getting attacked at any given moment. when he catches the terror in their expression, he’s reminded that the general has their weak points too. so instead of questioning their actions any further, he tries to reassure them despite his pounding heart.

“did you wanna turn around? we can always find another route. we could even send a team of minutemen to do this for us.” when sole shakes their hand and swallows the lump in their throat, preston lets out a soft sigh and smiles at them softly.

“just leaving the suggestion out there, general. say the word and we’ll turn right back around.” sole would shake their head, their stubbornness peeking through the look of fear twisting on their face. “it’s fine. i can’t be selfish and let it get to me.”

preston would feel his heart swell at their sacrifice and the determination that they held, despite the odds going against them. gently, he squeezed their hand and looked down at them, seeing the curious expression on their face. “if that’s the case, just know i’m confident that nothing will tear you down. i have your back every step of the way,” he pauses for a moment, rubbing the nape of his neck nervously with a dorky smile, “even if it mean- uh -holding my hand. i’d be more than happy to.”

after a few moments of silence, sole processed his words and smiled at him in response, returning the squeeze. “thank you, preston.”

Sturges:

sturges is aware he isn’t the strongest man in the commonwealth nor does he have the ability to protect sole in most situations. however, if he had a choice, he would do the best he could and he knows that sole is aware of his intentions. yet, when they yelp with fear and lunge to him, taking his hand in theirs, he realizes that maybe he isn’t as weak as he sought out to be.

“you holding up ‘lright, sweetheart?” when they notice their actions, their expression slowly twists into a terrified one and they attempt to retrieve their hand as quickly as they can. sturges doesn’t stop them from doing so and instead just laughs heartily and offers his hand to them despite their reaction.

“i’m fine with it, yknow. i wasn’t complainin’ or anything, just wanted to check if you’re okay.” sole hesitates for a moment, eyes flickering from his hand to his face before replying. “are you sure it’s okay? it just gave me a little scare, you don’t have to-“

before they could continue, he moves closer, taking their hand in his with a light blush on his cheeks and a reassuring smile plastered on his face. “it’s the least i can do for you.” his actions are more than enough to reassure sole and they nod, accepting his offer. “thank you, sturges.”

Gage:

he doesn’t like crushes— gage is so used to the habit of a one night stand and constant hook ups that he absolutely forgets how loving someone feels like. as sole grips his hand in fear, he chokes up for a good second and immediately gets himself together, retreating his hand and glaring at them.

“the fuck you think you’re doing?” despite his tough demeanor, his voice becomes slightly shaky and a small tinge of pink dusts his cheek. this doesn’t go unnoticed at first, but sole knows they’re too distracted to point it out.

they would apologize with an embarrassed expression and he’d avert his eyes elsewhere before continuing on; “yer the damn overboss, some stupid shit like this shouldn’t scare you. you gotta be tougher than that if yer gonna survive in this world.”

he doesn’t realize the words that leave his mouth until his eyes fall on sole, who’s clearly embarrassed and overwhelmed with the situation and immediately feels a tinge of guilt. with a quiet groan, he slows down and averts his eyes elsewhere, waiting for them to pick up the pace. when sole lets out a confused hum, he forces the words to leave his mouth.

“hurry up and get in front of me, why don’t ya’? yer acting like i’d let the overboss get hurt on my watch.”

they would pause for a moment at his words but feel a sense of reassurance knowing that gage had their back, despite his attitude towards them. “okay.” sole would smile at him softly and he’d scoff, fighting the blush threatening to creep up on his face. this stupid love bullshit was doing nothing but holding him back.

“yeah, yeah. lets get a move on before i leave ya out here to get eaten.”

[mishasminions]

The Last Time I’ll Write a Long Post About Supernatural (15x18-15x20)

15 YEARS OF WATCHING THIS SHOW. 11 YEARS OF RUNNING A BLOG ABOUT IT. IT’S BEEN QUITE A RIDE.

[15x20 Speculation + evidence at the bottom]

First off, I just wanna come clean and say, after all these years, I still think they should’ve ended at Season 5.

If you’re going to come at me with “Then why’d you stick around to watch it if you didn’t like it?”, your question is immature, and the answer is simple: I just want to know what happens next (I also love the main characters and their actors too). You can watch a show and still think it’s shit.

Call me a clown, but despite all the disappointment and trust issues that this show has given me, I would still look forward to the day where it might just turn itself around and bring back the quality it once had, or realize the potential of each story it was trying to tell, or at the very least, do justice by my favorite ship.

Never happened.

They’ve had a few good episodes here and there. I can’t imagine the SPN Universe without The Man Who Would Be King, The French Mistake, and Scoobynatural. Seasons 6-10 were enjoyable at times. I blocked out most of 7 & 11-15. 

If you’ve been following this blog since its heydays in 2010-2014, you’d know I’d try my best to defend Destiel and this show’s decisions regarding it no matter what.

Because you know what, as a CONCEPT, this show is good. If you take a look at all the worlds its storylines have birthed in fanfiction/fanworks, you’d see how much Supernatural has wasted its own story arcs. The writing got shittier as each season progressed, and they’ve obviously given up in production as well because the quality in the execution has noticeably gone down too, but if you take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, you’ll see that this show still tries to make sense of itself.

[If you’re still following this post, please bear with me, I know this is long, but I just want you to understand how jaded and pessimistic I am with regards to this show, so maybe you can buy into whatever hopeful thing I’m about to say later on.]

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT DESTIEL

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would give us Castiel’s “I love you” speech. To the point where, if I weren’t so desperate for it, I would argue that it was completely out of character for him to word vomit the way he did (but I’m not gonna diss on that right now because I’ll take what I can get).

I’ve valued every meaningful and obscure exchange that Dean and Cas have had in the earlier seasons, and I was willing to accept their relationship as just that--undefined, without any clear boundaries as to what they really are. And I think that was beautiful on its own.

But now, they’ve chosen to define it.

After they’ve driven every possible wedge between Dean and Castiel in seasons 11-15, to try to explain away their feelings as something they offer to a collective.

Dean can’t mourn and pray for JUST Cas, he has to mourn and pray for EVERYBODY--even Crowley, even some chick he just met, because god forbid he cries about just the guy who has given up everything for him--that would be “too homo”.

They’ve even set Cas on a path to abrupt fatherhood just so he can care about something other than Dean. Make it seem as if Dean wasn’t his purpose through and through.

And after all these years of this stupid show trying to deny it, they choose to acknowledge it at the worst possible circumstance, at a time where they’ve been so far apart, that it seems so foreign for them to suddenly come together.

But here we are. And they’ve chosen to tell us.

Chosen to tell us that everything that Castiel has done leading up to his death, he has done it because he was IN LOVE WITH DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that the ONE THING THAT WOULD MAKE CAS HAPPY IS DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that BEING WITH DEAN WINCHESTER is something that CAS WANTS BUT KNOWS HE CAN’T HAVE.

And they’ve also chosen to tell us nothing about how Dean feels.

Sure, finding out your angel made a deal, the stipulations of said deal, his newfound happiness philosophy, his long-winded monologue of why he loves you and why you’re worthy of his love, and to top it all off he tells you that being in love with you is enough to make him happy while he subtly hints that he’s always wanted to be WITH you romantically, was a lot to process in the 5 minutes after you’ve just had an existential crisis.

It’s whatever, right? Let’s culminate 11 years worth of tension and feelings in 5 minutes. Let’s waste the entire episode with cringey expository dialogue, and irrelevant sequences. The whole season was a waste anyway.

You know what Supernatural? FUCK YOU FOR THAT. They deserved better. WE deserve better.

And I would love nothing more than to hurl every possible insult your way,

But for the last time, I’m going to HOPE that you’re finally going to try to make it better for the fans that stuck by you all these years.

No more baiting new viewers, no more placating casual viewers, no more excuses. 15 years. Bring it home for the people who have actually been around.

SO HERE’S HOW I THINK 15x20 IS GONNA GO

There’s two ways this series is gonna end. Horribly or Spectacularly.

First let’s all take into consideration what Andrew Dabb says about it:

So, let’s start with

ENDING HORRIBLY

In this scenario, Misha is telling the truth about his last day of filming being 15x18. His “camping trip” during the last few days of filming 15x20, was actually a camping trip. He doesn’t go to Vancouver to shoot.

Jensen wasn’t “being careful” during the zoom interviews that it was just him and Jared quarantining for the shoot, it really was just him and Jared (althought most of these were done pre 15x19) Supernatural isn’t smart enough to do misleading PR, and they’re once again oblivious to the potential of their own story.

Misha hasn’t posted a “Goodbye Castiel” tweet because he’s probably saving it for last episode or he forgot because it was overshadowed by the Destiel trend that night.

So what we get is:

Sam and Dean are on the road again, up against the monster of the week. Only their world no longer has actual Supernatural beings anymore, so the monsters they’re fighting are humans.

Humans end up killing the Winchesters (despite having gone up against literally every powerful being imaginable INCLUDING God himself). Dean and Sam end up in heaven and relive their greatest hits.

Meanwhile, Castiel rots in The Empty because he died after realizing that he was happy and gay. Jack doesn’t bother rescuing him—his surrogate dad, the guy who made this specific deal to spare him—even though it was so easy for him get Cas in and out of The Empty when he had a fraction of the power that he has now.

Dean never speaks of Castiel’s confession because despite all the hints of a profound bond in the earlier seasons, and the fact that Dean has never cared for anyone (who isn’t his actual brother) as immensely as he does Cas, Supernatural just can’t have its main macho character be “suddenly bisexual” because that would hurt the male ego or some shit.

His heaven would probably be living happily ever after with his family. “Family” meaning Mary and John Winchester--two of the shittiest parents ever (but they’re not going to include them in this episode like they were supposed to because of Covid) and Sam.

Sam also gets a dog. As usual.

I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to do this. After everything they’ve pulled, this would be right up their alley. I actually expect this ending.

Anyway, onto the next possible ending

ENDING SPECTACULARLY

In this scenario, Supernatural tries to stick the landing, and Jensen’s whole “It didn’t sit well with me at first, but then I took a step back after talking to Kripke, and realized that I had to view it from an audience perspective, I am now really excited about it” (DC Con 2019) anecdote about his thoughts on the final episodes, were actually about Dean potentially ending up with Cas. (Which would totally make sense because Jensen at first didn’t see Dean as anything but hetero, but as of late, he has been throwing in Destiel jokes of his own, so he seems to have warmed up to the idea)

Backed with Misha’s tidbit (DLConline 2020) that he and Jensen had conversations about Destiel, and that they wouldn’t have gone through with it if Jensen wasn’t onboard with it, but Jensen didn’t push back at all. (Why would they need to check with Jensen if it was just Cas going all in?)

Robert Berens (writer of 15x18) also wrote the script at the beginning of Season 15, but made Misha privy to the concept a year prior (Season 14), so they went into this season knowing about Destiel going canon.

This one’s a reach, but this scenario also supposes that Misha was lying about his whereabouts during the filming of the final episode, and him saying that 15x18 was his last episode is part of the diversion to avoid taking away from the weight of Castiel’s death.

And that Supernatural is actually self-aware of its own material (similar to how they have wrapped things up in the past—lots of expository dialogue, poor execution, but fulfills the story arc)

Since Season 15 is basically a Meta Season (Chuck/God as a writer, pretentiously calling out how he created the worlds, its characters, and basically invalidating the past 14 seasons), and 15x19 is supposedly the finale for Season 15, written by two of the worst Supernatural writers, Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming (Bob Singer’s wife), then we can assume that 15x19 is where the shitty writers kill themselves--as Chuck, of course.

So we get a badly written episode that produces a bad ending, or as Becky put it, “All action, and no Cas”

So we get the bad writers season ending at 15x19.

And 15x20 is where Sam and Dean write their own stories, and where the cast had a hand in pitching ideas for it.

Dabb has mentioned that 15x20 (Act Two) is a SERIES finale, where they try to resolve the characters’ journeys.

Because as everyone has acknowledged, Supernatural isn’t about the story, it’s about the characters.

So here’s what we can get out of it:

With no more Supernatural beings left to fight, Sam and Dean are in a stalemate. They’ve resigned themselves to fighting to the bitter end, but the “end” has passed, and they’re still standing.

So they try to figure out who they are now, and what they want out of the life they still have.

Sam still wants a normal apple pie life. Before Dean dragged him out of college to go hunting with him, he had a whole life planned out for him. Become a lawyer, settle down with a nice girl, and get a dog. He gave all that up because they had work to do, but now the work is finished, he can finally go back to wanting that for himself again.

Dean finally realizes his self-worth after Cas saves him again. His prayer to Cas in purgatory may have helped him come to terms with his anger, but the whole “you’ve done everything you did for love” speech finally put him in his place, and he learns not to hate himself anymore.

But of course, he cannot fully reconcile with himself if he doesn’t get Cas back, and tell him how he feels.

Because Dean actually wants something for himself this time. Something he knows he can finally have if he can just salvage it.

So maybe this time around, with the help of Jack (off-screen), Dean saves Cas. Grips him tight and raises him from perdition.

They bypass The Empty deal by turning Cas human, and he lives the rest of his days with Dean.

Dean and Cas know they deserve to be saved, and they know that they deserve to be happy.

(Wishful thinking, maybe they kiss a little)

Anyway...

I’m just saying, there’s NO WAY that they’d have Cas go through that whole rushed speech, if they weren’t going to do anything about it later on.

But again, after 10 years of disappointment, I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to pat themselves on the back and say, “Okay, we sort of gave them what they wanted. We’re good now”

If that’s the case, Supernatural, I’m sorry I wasted my time on you.

Here’s to hoping 🤡

[butwhatifidothis]

So if it is MEANT to be a villain route...Why are the villanous actions NEVER ADDRESSED by ANY of the characters outside of "Huh. I wonder if there was a better way to do this."

Why did they have Rhea go insane and torch a city? Why make potray Rhea as a villain when you could potray her as the hero whos genuinely trying to do good? Why have a majority of the characters still be able to be recruited regardless of if it makes sense? Why have the ending narration mostly be possible? WHY have Edelgard succeed and somehow turn her tyranny into a society that "ensures a free and independent society fot all."

If it's REALLY a villain route, why is there not a single character ending mentioning things like rebellions and conflict? Hell, the ending narration shows not a hint of villainy and potrays its ending as heroic.

"Embracing her newfound power, Edelgard could at last set about destroying Fódlan's entrenched system of nobility and rebuild a world free from the tyranny of Crests and status."

Again, if it was TRULY meant to be the villain route, it would have been POTRAYED as such. Instead of a villain route, we got "A route where one of the villains is made the protagonist and her views and villainous actions are never questioned OR addressed and outside of the conquest and starting the war, everyone is mostly happy."

Alright so this is going to seem like a nonserious answer, but I'm 100% serious when posting this image as part of a genuine answer to this question:

On CF, your actions are never addressed because of ignorance. On the surface, your actions seem like they've helped Fodlan, but as soon as the player looks any deeper it starts to become evident that something isn't right.

If Edelgard made a free and independent society for all, why are the people spied on in Hubert's ending with Dorothea? Why are rebellions secretly being put down in his ending with Shamir? That's not free, in a general sense or from specifically tyranny. That's a direct contradiction from two of the characters that can only be played on CF, and this is only found on CF.

Rhea is portrayed as a villain because she is Nabatean, and Edelgard hates Nabateans, and you are playing a route that emphasizes her ideals - which include wiping out all of the inhuman, bestial, vile, cruel Nabateans that have been plaguing humanity’s world. Rhea goes insane on CF because unlike all of the other routes, where the player and the lord never go out of their way to trample and spit on their enemies' trauma, that's what you are doing the entire time you play CF to Rhea - for months once Byleth returns, and that’s being extremely generous and not counting the entire war. You help drive Rhea and the other Nabateans away from their homes when taking over Garreg Mach - like Nemesis did to Rhea after the Red Canyon Massacre! You're helping someone try to kill off the rest of her people - like Nemesis did at Zanado! You're trying to kill Rhea with the Sword of the Creator, her mother's mutilated corpse - like Nemesis did! You're doing so with the descendent of Wilheim - spitting on the legacy of the one human Rhea could trust during the War of Heroes! You're literally recreating the single worst moment of Rhea's life, all so that you can help the one who views her as less than human.

Portraying Rhea as "the hero who's genuinely trying to do good" goes against Edelgard's viewpoint of all Nabateans being evil, and you're never meant to question Edelgard or make her change her beliefs. You as the player are actively discouraged from talking back to Edelgard, as she will noticeably get upset whenever you do - many times you will even lose support points with her, and this is especially bad for specifically Edelgard because you have to get to a certain support level with her to enter her route, with you having less chapters to do so because she won't talk to you until after Byleth achieves the Sword of the Creator in Chapter 4.

Look at how Rhea, Dimitri, and Claude are portrayed on CF. Rhea and Dimitri are demonized, while Claude is given some leeway from Edelgard. Now notice who of the three of them always speak their minds over Edelgard's villainy to her face, and which of the three of them bends to Edelgard's view of them as the bad guy. Dimitri and Rhea never allow themselves to bend to Edelgard - they call her out and call her actions evil. Claude, on the other hand, will remove himself from Fodlan and then afterwards make himself out to be a bad guy whom Edelgard managed to take down. He puffs up her ego, and he gets to live, while the two that don't must die. Edelgard is the one always out for the kill, and only by submitting to her is anyone allowed to live - which, I don’t think needs to be said, isn’t very heroic of her.

I've had my fair share of complaints over the characters that can be recruited over to CF, but even with those complaints... look at how those characters behave on CF. None of them are Felix levels of negative character development, but they all act noticeably worse on CF vs how they are on the other routes. To name some notable examples: Ignatz goes from wanting to paint Garreg Mach as it stood five years before to preserve its beauty to wanting to paint the violent downfall of the Alliance, Lysithea wants to abandon House Ordelia, which is in direct contrast to her core character motivation, Ingrid is willing to throw away her lifelong dream of being a knight of Faerghus, which she herself says is her spitting on her dead betrothed’s dreams, Leonie works with Jeralt’s killers, etc. etc.. And mind, CF is the route that locks out the most units - there's the obvious ones like Dedue and Gilbert who were already route exclusive, but then there's Seteth and Flayn, Catherine, Cyril, and Hilda. CF is the only route to have even non-exclusive units be completely unavailable no matter what.

Edelgard doesn't make a society that is "free," like I said above - having a secret police monitor the people's actions, or is ready to put down anyone who tries to rise up against her, is literally the opposite of free. Edelgard can and will ban plays she doesn't like - not free. Edelgard only allows state-sanctioned religion, if she does allow it - not free.

CF is a route that wants to make the player believe the lie that you're not the villain, because you are playing from the perspective of someone who herself doesn't think she's the villain, but like. Look at what you're doing. You're invading two countries for the express, explicit purpose of taking them over and making them your own. You're working with someone who's been trying to reunite Fodlan back under Adrestia as early as the prologue when she tried to have Dimitri and Claude assassinated. You're helping TWS. Your Imperial presence makes Church people flee - which, given that Edelgard wants Rhea and those involved with the Church dead, I don't blame them. You're working with someone who is starving her people so that she can carry on with her war.

CF lies to the player - Edelgard lies, constantly. She says she's willing to let Rhea live, but literally the scene before she says she seeks to fuckin' Exodia Rhea. She lies about Arianrhod. She lies - or is flat-out wrong, which isn't much better - about the Church hoarding wealth and about the Church splitting up the Empire. She lies about not knowing about TWS pre-ts. She helps spread the lie of Duscur being the ones who killed Lambert. She lied about not knowing where Flayn was when she was kidnapped. She lies to her people by making them believe she’s making the orders during the war, not Byleth. There's a student who doubts all of what Edelgard says right before the timeskip happens and who isn't sure about his decision to stay, and then there’s a man who calls Edelgard “a tricksy one” on the last explore section for lying about attacking the Kingdom capitol. She’s wrong about the history of Nemesis and Seiros, calling Nemesis killing all of Rhea’s family a “simple dispute.” She lies to her people about an entire war against a group who just a little bit ago were her allies. Lies and ignorance are staple points to CF as a route, it’s baked into it, so the idea of the CF going “oh no you totally are the good guys” literally as the city burns down around the players doesn’t come from nowhere.

And like... the ending narration “shows not a hint of villainy?” Um.

Her stepping on the flags of the Alliance and Church? Her recreating a painting of Napoleon - that little known imperialist - down to the hand of justice? Her denouncing gods constantly and then being ushered in by a statue with heavy resemblance to Nike, Goddess of victory? Hubert plotting away from the sight of the rejoicing people? Yeah, there’s a lot of hints to villainy.

Again, CF isn’t “portrayed” as a villain route because it’s you falling for the lies of Edelgard. You have a wool over your eyes. You accept everything Edelgard says as fact, even when she actively contradicts herself - sometimes as radically as in back-to-back scenes. You view yourself as a savior to humanity, even when you plunge it into darkness. You don’t think you’re the villain, so your actions aren’t going to be put in an explicitly villainous light - at least, not by anyone on your side.

This post showcases the difference between non-recruited characters fighting non-CF!Byleth vs CF!Byleth. Characters are mostly saddened by having to fight Byleth in the former, while they are mostly betrayed on CF. Byleth is very clearly seen as being wrong for having sided with Edelgard on CF by the non-recruited characters - Edelgard’s actions may not be directly criticized (save for by Dimitri and a few others), but it makes no sense for these characters to be this shocked and betrayed by Byleth siding with her if her actions were so good. Leonie deadass calls you a traitor to Jeralt, Ingrid says that you are not fit to rule Fodlan specifically for siding with Edelgard and the Empire after all she and they have done, and Dimitri questions you as to why you chose Edelgard and her “savage, bloody path,” just to name a few notable examples. You, as the player, are being criticized for siding with Edelgard. You say that the villainous actions are “NEVER ADDRESSED by ANY of the characters,” but what else are these reactions but characters addressing your villainous actions?

And like... “a route where one of the villains is the protagonist” bro that’s a villain route. Like. I’m not trying to be mean, but I am genuinely confused as to what you were trying to get at here.

Like. In a vacuum? I might can get the idea of CF not being a villain route a little better, were it the only route available (though even that is a very big stretch). But you have three whole other routes where there’s no conquest, there’s no working with TWS, there’s no using Demonic Beasts, there’s no killing/exiling the remaining (immediately known) Nabateans, there’s no continuous and long-standing lies that never get outed, the lords never stay flat out wrong about the events of the game, non-recruited characters aren’t shooting Byleth up the ass with accusations of being a traitorous lemming who’d follow Edelgard off a cliff... and they achieve peace. Those endings, with Dimitri Claude and “Rhea” (SS ain’t really her route even though it should’ve been but ye), lack the following in any of their endings:

Censorship

Spying on the people

Constantly putting down rebels in secret

State-sanctioned religion

(mind, this last one is in direct contradiction to CF’s ending narration that says that Church is destroyed)

None of this happens on AM, VW, and SS. They all have peaceful endings. They all have Fodlan see the light of dawn, and that is never contradicted in their endings. CF is the only route to have all of these things happen in it - I think that’s enough for it to be considered a villain route lol

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi!

I'm here for a pretty stupid thing actually but I've always found it annoying to do: summaries for fics. I never know how much is too little, how much is too much, or if what I'm putting is going to make people think “wow this sounds interesting” or “wow what a shit, keep scrolling”

Do you think it is better to make a summary as such, or include some lines from the story? Idk, any advice would be appreciated

Thanks for taking your time to read!

Hugss🥰

Hey Nonny!! *HUGS*

Ah, the bane of all writers... the blasted summary to describe your story in as little words as possible to get people interested. The LITERAL very last thing you have to do on a story. Always a fun time.

And it's daunting and can feel very overwhelming, because, just like in advertising (my professional background), you have a TINY window to grasp people's attention and make them WANT to click on your fic to read. As an avid reader of fanfic, I do have my own preferences on what I look for... but as a professional, I think I can offer some wisdom in this part here, for a change. PLEASE KNOW that this is different for EVERYONE! These are just some things I picked up in my 20 years in advertising, and applying it to – what is essentially – a "classifieds" board for stories.

Attention-Grabbing Title – Not PERTINENT, but the average reader is more likely to continue reading what you have to offer if your headline is interesting. Even one word ones can grab attention. Something whimsical or metaphorical to your story is always a winner.

Short and Concise Description / Call to Action – One to two sentences is an average attention span before someone gets bored and moves on to the next post. You need to entice someone into reading MORE of your summary in those first two sentences, if you have a long summary. Start your summary with the subject of the story. ie. "John has a problem: he's well hung." That example right there will entice someone to read your summary further.

Grammar Check your Summary – BECAUSE the summary is a representation of what's to come in your story, make sure you get that summary spell-checked or beta'd with your beta. It's a small thing, but it can help bring people in, and especially if you're trying to appeal to a language that you're unfamiliar with. Your beta can even help you refine the summary so it's more attention-grabbing.

Rate Your Story – "Not Rated" stories have a lesser chance of being read than something rated. Doesn't matter what it is, just put a rating there. At least, if people are doing a ratings filter, then you will show up in a search result.

If You're Writing a WiP, State the status of your story at the end of your summary. Many people such as myself don't want to start a WiP without the certainty that it will be done. Stating something like "Story is finished, new chapter every Friday" is a GREAT way to get engagement on your story, AND generate excitement and buzz for it from the day-oners. THEY are your advertisers. A LOT of people like the suspense of a week-to-week model... it's why syndicated television is still alive! A lot of our Fandom authors do their stories this way, working on chapters weeks in advance while posting chapters "approved". It gives YOU time to write and proof, while also having a Live / Active WiP Story that will keep people coming back.

So yeah, those are some tips from an advertising standpoint.

As a reader, though, my PERSONAL interest in a fic is based solely on these 4 things:

The Ship Tags – use "/" (slash for Slash-fiction) for romantic and sexual relationships, and "&" for platonic/friendships or non-sexual relationships. I, for a fact, DO filter stories by the ship tags FIRST, so I'm sure other people do too. Make sure that you use them.

The Story Tags – Ao3 has spoiled us with these!... List relevant tags, tropes, Universes, and genres that pertain to your story... these are what help get your story found in the search algorithm. Don't write "tumblr-style tags" (ie. "this story took way too long") into this field. It is a big turn off for many people (myself included), AND it fucks with the Ao3 search results. Use author notes or descriptions to write your Tumblr-style musings! The tags should ONLY contain content within your story that may appeal to people OR help trigger/content warn against stuff. Yes, I understand that many authors poo-poo on "spoilers in tags", but in all the years I have been reccing fics, I have NEVER ONCE been told that people don't like how meticulous I tag everything I rec. A LOT of people will use those tags to filter OUT stuff that they personally can't read or don't like. Apart from the summary, the Tags are VERY important, AND it can help you come up with a more interesting and short summary that doesn't need to be descriptive. Use the suggested tags that Ao3 offers when you start typing – these are tags, I believe, that have been used frequently on the site.

The Summary – I KNOW it is legit the worst thing to have to come up with, but your story has a higher chance of being read if you stick to writing a concise summary as I've pointed out above. Some people also may choose to use an interesting blurb from their stories as a preview, which some DON'T like, but it's honestly better than nothing. I know for a fact that I have skipped over stories that don't have SOMETHING in the summary box NOR any tags. I know this isn't what you want to hear, Lovely, but put something here, even if it's just "A literal fuck-tonne of porn without plot" (I give authors permission to steal that pun, LOL).

WiP or Not – This is one of those "gamble" things. As I mentioned above, some authors do a week-to-week advanced model for their story chapters, while others "post each chapter when done". The latter tends to wind up with stories in limbo. PERSONALLY, I don't read WiP's for the simple fact that I get confused REALLY easily on plot lines when I do – I like reading one whole story in one go. But PLEASE don't take this as the golden end-all/be-all. This is a personal preference, since I read a LOT of fics and I have very little time these days to do it. Some people love WiPs. A good way to indicate that you have a story plotted out, but is NOT a week-to-week model? Add the Chapter count, rather than leaving it as "?". People are more likely to follow your WiP WITH a chapter count, since it gives the illusion that you have a rough draft written out and you know how long it will be.

So yeah! I hope this helped you out a bit, Nonny. Sorry it's so long, but I thought with how long I've been reading fics and with how picky I am with fics, these tips would be helpful for you. Again, at the end of the day, it's ALWAYS up to personal preferences of the readers. And don't take it personally if you can't "get an audience" right away. Just be yourself, write because you LOVE writing, and you will have a fruitful and enjoyable time publishing your story!

If any experienced authors in the fandom want to add their two cents from a WRITER'S perspective, please do! <3

[melody-of-lost-souls]

There are some people (antis of course) who claims.... Naruto imitates Sasuke's actions just like how Sasuke imitated Itachi when he was young. And just like how Itachi couldn't bring himself to kill Sasuke.... Sasuke also couldn't bring himself to kill Naruto. Hence, their dynamics is totally an imitation of Itachi and Sasuke... It's just brotherly.

What do you think about this perspective???

Hello <3

This is so much as we say in my country Tirado de los pelos. -pulled out from the hair? dont know if it has sense in english tho xD

I thought about that too I may say. That SNS dynamics resembles somehow to Itachi-Sasuke one. It has some similarities yes, but Sasuke and Naruto relationship also has similarities to a lot of other relationships too.

First, from Naruto's side it's cannot be said that he imitates Sasuke just how Sasuke imitated Itachi, so -----> brothers.

Because Naruto never knew 1) blood brothers relationship 2)never raised with a figure like that in his early childhood 3)never had a "big" brother figure 4)never saw like deeply how Sasuke and Itachi relationship and dynamic was -and this is fine cause the only ones who must know this are the 2 brothers involved. This is a yes and No, Naruto knew about how Uchiha brothers relationship was, he could understand Itachi. But this is simple, the only people who would know better how a relationship works, are the people involved. No matter how close Naruto was to Sasuke. There are secrets and stuff in his bond with his brother that HE will only know and it's okay -this doesnt justify though how Sakura doesnt know absolutely anything about itachi or so-.

So, at least from naruto's side i dont see it brotherly. The true question here what about Sasuke side? Becaue he is the one with the brother involved.

Nonetheless, Sasuke dared to do with Naruto a lot of things and behaviors that I dont see at all doing with Itachi. No matter how much Sasuke loved Itachi and how much trust they have, do you think Sasuke would dared to call him Usuratonkachi?? Dobe?? There is no way, because even tho the unconditional Love is there, he hasn't got that much confidence because Itachi was also a father and mother figure.

Also, Naruto is different and yet similar to Itachi. In questions of behavior and personalities they are absolutely different, yes in terms of spirituality, conviction and ideology. Nonetheless Itachi is quiet, strategic, a bit cold, doesn't talk too much...We know how Naruto is. how can they still be put under the same label for sasuke to call them Brothers both?

If Naruto even looked the same as Itachi, doesn't matter either cause there is this thing. THEY ARE NOT RELATED BY BLOOD, they werent even raised together, and Naruto is even younger than Sasuke so there is no way that Naruto could play a Big brother role as Itachi.

And Sasuke knew and was raised with THIS Itachi. Itachi finally lets say adopted his role as big brother on his final moments, but he also embraced his old parental figure showing Sasuke his unconditional Love no matter whatever happens or the paths he takes.

-Now this is from my cultural perspective, i dont know how in Asia mother-child dynamics are. But that kind of unconditional Love and Forgiving is very reserved to the Mother and Father. (A parent would never give up on their child no matter what, since Itachi adopted this role...Well it speaks for its own)

The difference here between Itachi and Naruto, and also Between Sasuke and Naruto, is that the Uchihas were related by blood. There was some .lets say, moral obligation that also tied them since they were family after all.

Sasuke and Naruto didnt have this moral obligattion towards each other.

So maybe you would say, well Naruto also showed Sasuke unconditional Love and Forgiving no matter the circunstances. Yes of course and this is the deal, we tend to look in our relationships -specially in the loving ones aka couples- similarities of the relationships we had with our parents, with the things we know, where we feel safe -or sometimes no- This is very from psychoanalysis but psychology in general, and i could write more about it but this will be too long.

Naruto brought to Sasuke warmness, familiarity, which made him feel weak but also powerful. And we could say the same with Naruto, though he knew his parents , he grew with the parental figure of Iruka. And which was the first big movement Iruka did in order to show Naruto how much he treasured him? Offering his life

Who did the same to him? And i may say in the same position.

But also when Naruto meets Kushina, we know how Sasuke protective behavior towards Naruto is very similar to Kushina's. A mother too.

The fact that neither one of the them could kill the other, as how Itachi did doesnt mean anything to say

oh cannot kill naruto= itachi couldnt kill sasuke so----> Brothers.

Because is a question of the representations(specially the ones we grew up with aka our home) we had in life, and we move/translate them to make other ones, specially when we talk about the person who would be by your side eternally.

This is also why I will always say why Sasuke and Sakura, and also Hinata and Naruto couples doesnt work and wont work either , at least these girls change...Because what kind of representations can these 2 boys- that they alread found in one another- in 2 girls?

-Now to finish, this is absolutely overreading and reading too too much, but i find it funny xD but there is something that a teacher told us in a college class, part as a joke, part as sometimes it really happens, anyway. Sometimes you find in your partner, something related to your parents as for example simple things like the first letters of their last name ...Well Uchiha -Uzumaki xDDD

Naruto and Sasuke are soulmates, not because just all- which is very fucking much- the spiritual and powerful background that supports them as their wind, fire and lightning nature, their symbols, their names and clans, their convictions, colours and personalities, but also bc from a psychological perspective -mine at least.- makes the most absolutely sense.

[warsofasoiaf]

Writing Characters With Believable Military PTSD

I typically write these writing and worldbuilding essays from a dispassionate perspective, offering advice and context to prospective writers from as neutral a point of view as I can manage, with the goal being to present specific pieces of information and broader concepts that can hopefully improve writing and build creators’ confidence to bring their projects to fruition, whether that be writing, tabletop gaming, video game programming, or anything that suits their fancy. While writing this essay though, I struggled to maintain that perspective. Certainly, the importance of the topic to me was a factor, but ultimately, I saw impersonality just as a suboptimal presentation method for something so intensely personal. I do maintain some impartiality particularly in places where historical or academic context is called for, but in other respects I’ve opted for a different approach. Ultimately, this essay is a labor of love for me, love for those who suffer from military PTSD, love for those who love those who suffer from it, and love for writers who want to, in the way that they so choose, help those two other groups out. Thus, this is a different type of essay in certain segments than my usual fare; I hope the essay isn’t an unreadable chimera because of it.

This essay focuses on military-related PTSD. While there are some concepts that translate well into PTSD in the civilian sphere, there are unique elements that do not necessarily fit the mold in both directions, so for someone hoping to write a different form of PTSD, I would recommend finding other resources that could better suit your purposes. I also recommend using more than one source just in general, trauma is personal and so multiple sources can help provide a wide range of experiences to draw upon, which should hopefully improve any creative work.

And as a final introductory note, traumatic experiences are deeply personal. If you are using someone you know as a model for your writing, you owe it to that person to communicate exactly what you are doing and to ask their permission every step of the way. I consider it a request out of politeness to implore any author who uses someone else’s experiences to inform their writing in any capacity, but when it comes to the truly negative experiences in someone’s life, this rises higher from request to demand. You will ask someone before taking a negative experience from their own life and placing it into your creative works, and you will not hide anything about it from them. Receiving it is a great sign of trust. The opposite is a travesty, robbing someone of a piece of themselves and placing it upon display as a grotesque exhibit. And if that sounds ghoulish and macabre, it’s because it is, without hyperbole. Don’t do it.

Why Write PTSD?

What is the purpose of including PTSD in a creative work? There have been plenty of art therapy actions taken by those who suffer PTSD to create something from their condition, which can be as profound for those who do not have it as it is therapeutic for those that do, but why would someone include it in their creative works, and why is some no-name guy on the internet writing an essay offering tips as to how to do it better?

Certainly, one key element is that it’s real, and it happens. If art is to reflect upon reality, PTSD suffered by soldiers is one element of that, so art can reflect it, but what specifically about PTSD, as opposed to any other facet of existence? Author preference certainly plays a factor, but why would someone try to include something that is difficult to understand and difficult to portray? While everyone comes to their own reason, I think that a significant number of people are curious about what exactly goes on in the minds of someone suffering through PTSD, and creative works allow them a way to explore it, much the way fiction can explore scenarios and emotions that are either unlikely or unsafe to explore in reality. If that’s the case, then the purpose of this essay is rather simple, to make the PTSD examination more grounded in reality and thus a better reflection of it. But experiences are unique even if discernable patterns emerge, so in that sense, no essay created by an amateur writer with no psychological experience could be an authoritative take on reality, the nature of which would is far beyond the scope of this essay.

For my own part, I think that well-done creative works involving PTSD is meant to break down the isolation that it can cause in its wake. Veterans suffering may feel that they are alone, that their loved ones cannot understand them and the burden of trying to create that would simply push them away; better instead to have the imperfect bonds that they currently have than risk losing them entirely. For those who are on the outside looking in, isolation lurks there as well, a gulf that seems impossible to breach and possibly intrusive to even try. Creative works that depict PTSD can help create a sense that victims aren’t alone, that there are people that understand and can help without demeaning the sense of self-worth. Of course, another element would be to reduce the amount of poorly-done depictions of PTSD. Some creative works use PTSD as a backstory element, relegating a defining and important element of an individual’s life as an aside, or a minor problem that can be resolved with a good hug and a cry or a few nights with the right person. If a well-done creative work can help create a bridge and break down isolation, a poorly-done one can turn victims off, reinforcing the idea that no one understands and worse, no one cares. For others, it gives a completely altered sense of what PTSD is and what they could do to help, keeping them out, confusing them, or other counter-productive actions. In that sense, all the essay is to help build up those who are doing the heavy lifting. I’m not full of so much hubris as to think this is a profound piece of writing that will help others, but if creators are willing to try and do the hard work of building a bridge, I could at least try to help out and provide a wheelbarrow.

An Abbreviated Look At The Many Faces and Names of PTSD Throughout History

PTSD has been observed repeatedly throughout human history, even when it was poorly understood. This means that explorations of PTSD can be written in settings even if they did not have a distinctly modern understanding of neurology, trauma, or related matters. These historical contexts are also useful for worldbuilding a believable response in fictional settings and scenarios that don’t necessarily have a strict analogue in our own history. By providing this historical context, hopefully I can craft a broad-based sense of believable responses to characters with PTSD at a larger level.

In the time of Rome, it was understood by legionnaires that combat was a difficult endeavor, and so troops were typically on the front lines engaged in combat for short periods of time, to be rotated back for rest while others took their place. It was considered ideal, in these situations, to rotate troops that fought together back so that they could rest together. The immediate lesson is obvious, the Romans believed that it was vital for troops to take time to process what they had done and that was best served with quiet periods of rest not just to allow the adrenaline to dissipate (the "combat high"), but a chance for the mind to wrap itself around what the legionnaire had done. The Romans also recognized that camaraderie between fellow soldiers helped soldiers to cope, and this would be a running theme throughout history (and remains as such today). Soldiers were able to empathize with each other, and help each other through times of difficulty. This was not all sanguine, however, Roman legions depended on their strong formations, and a soldier that did not perform their duty could endanger the unit, and so shame in not fulfilling their duty was another means to keep soldiers in line. The idea of not letting down your fellow soldiers is a persistent refrain in coping with the traumas of war, and throughout history this idea has been used for both pleasant and unpleasant means of keeping soldiers in the fight.

In the Middle Ages, Geoffroi de Charny wrote extensively on the difficulties that knights could experience on the campaign trail in his Book of Chivalry. The book highlights the deprivation that knights suffered, from the bad food and poor sleep to the traumatic experience of combat to being away from family and friends to the loss of valued comrades to combat and infection; each of these is understood as a significant stressor that puts great strain on the mental health of soldiers up to today. De Charny recommended focusing on the knightly oaths of service, the needs of the mission of their liege, and the duty of the knight to serve as methods to help bolster the resolve of struggling knights. The book also mentions seeking counseling and guidance from priests or other confidants to help improve their mental health to see their mission through. This wasn’t universal, however. Some severely traumatized individuals were seen as simple cowards, and punished harshly for their perceived cowardice as antithetical to good virtue and to serve as an example.

World War I saw a sharp rise in the reported incidents of military-related PTSD and new understandings and misunderstandings. The rise in the number of soldiers caused a rise in cases of military PTSD, even though the term itself was not known at the time. Especially in the early phases of the war, many soldiers suffering from PTSD were thought to be malingering, pretending to have symptoms to avoid being sent to the front lines. The term “shell shock” was derived because it was believed that the concussive force of artillery bombardment caused brain damage as it rattled the skull or carbon monoxide fumes would damage the brain as they were inhaled, as a means to explain why soldiers could have physical responses such as slurred speech, lack of response to external stimuli, even nigh-on waking catatonia, despite not being hit by rifle rounds or shrapnel. This would later be replaced by the term “battle fatigue” when it became apparent that artillery bombardment was not a predicative indicator. Particularly as manpower shortages became more prevalent, PTSD-sufferers could be sent to firing squads as a means to cow other troops to not abandon their post. Other less fatal methods of shaming could occur, such as the designation “Lack of Moral Fibre,” an official brand of cowardice, as an attempt to shame the members into remembering their duty. As the war developed, and understanding grew, better methods of treatment were made, with rest and comfort provided to slight cases, strict troop rotations observed to rotate men to and from the front lines, and patients not being told that they were being evacuated for nervous breakdown to avoid cementing that idea in their mind. These lessons would continue into World War II, where the term “combat stress reaction” was adopted. While not always strenuously followed, regular rotations were adopted as standard policy. This was still not universal, plenty of units still relied upon bullying members into maintaining their post despite mental trauma.

The American military promotes a culture of competence and ability, particularly for the enlisted ranks, and that lends itself to the soldier viewing themselves in a starkly different fashion than a civilian. Often, a soldier sees the inability to cope with a traumatic experience as a personal failure stemming from the lack of mental fortitude. Owning up to such a lack of capability is tantamount to accepting that they are an inferior soldier, less capable than their fellows. This idea is commonly discussed, and should not be ignored, but it is far from the only reason. The military also possesses a strong culture of fraternity that obligates “Don’t be a fuckup,” is a powerful motivating force, and it leads plenty of members of the military to ignore traumatic experiences out of the perceived need not to put the burden on their squadmates. While most professional militaries stress that seeking mental health for trauma is not considered a sign of weakness, enlisted know that if they receive mental health counseling, it is entirely likely that someone will have to take their place in the meantime. That could potentially mean that another person, particularly in front-line units, are exposed to danger that they would otherwise not be exposed to, potentially exacerbating guilt if said person gets hurt or killed. This is even true in stateside units, plenty of soldiers don’t report for treatment because it would mean dumping work on their fellows, a negative aspect of unit fraternity. Plenty of veterans also simply never are screened for mental health treatment, and usually this lends to a mentality of “well, no one is asking, so I should be fine.” These taken together combine to a heartbreaking reality, oftentimes a modern veteran that seeks help for mental trauma has often coped silently for years, perhaps self-medicating with alcohol or off-label drug usage, and is typically very far along their own path comparatively. Others simply fall through the cracks, not being screened for mental disorders and so do not believe that anything is wrong; after all, if something was wrong, surely the doctors would notice it, right? The current schedule of deployments, which are duration-based and not mission-based, also make it hard for servicemembers to rationalize their experiences and equate them to the mission; there’s no sense of pairing suffering to objectives the way that de Charnay mentioned could help contextualize the deprivation and loss. These sorts of experiences make the soldier feel adrift, and their suffering pointless, which is discouraging on another level. It is one thing to suffer for a cause, it’s another not to know why, amplifying the feelings of powerlessness and furthering the isolation that they feel.

Pen to Page - The Characters and Their Responses

The presentation of PTSD within a character will depend largely on the point-of-view that the author creates. A character that suffers from PTSD depending on the presence of an internal or external point-of-view, will be vastly different experiences on page. Knowing this is essential, as this will determine how the story itself is presenting the disorder. Neither is necessarily more preferable than the other, and is largely a matter of the type of story being told and the personal preference of the author.

Internal perspectives will follow the character’s response from triggering event to immediate response. This allows the author to present a glimpse into what the character is experiencing. In these circumstances, remember that traumatic flashbacks are merely one of many experiences that an average sufferer of PTSD can endure. In a visual medium, flashbacks are time-effective methods to portray a character reliving portions of a traumatic experience, but other forms of media can have other tools. Traumatic flashbacks are not necessarily a direct reliving of an event from start to finish, individuals may instead feel sudden sharp pains of old injuries, be overwhelmed by still images of traumatic scenes or loud traumatic sounds. These can be linked to triggers that bring up the traumatic incident, such as a similar sight, sound, or smell. These moments of linkage are not necessarily experienced linearly or provide a clear sequence of events from start to finish (memory rarely is unless specifically prompted), and it may be to the author’s advantage to not portray them as such in order to communicate the difficulty in mental parsing that the character may be experiencing. Others might be more intrusive, such as violently deranged nightmares that prevent sleep. The author must try to strike a balance between portraying the experience realistically and portraying it logically that audience members can understand. The important thing about these memories is that they are intrusive, unwelcome, and quite stressful, so using techniques that jar the reader, such as the sudden intrusive image of a torn body, a burning vehicle, or another piece of the traumatic incident helps communicate the disorientation. Don't rely simply on shock therapy, it's not enough just to put viscera on the page. Once it is there, the next steps, how the character reacts, is crucial to a believable response.

When the character experiences something that triggers their PTSD, start to describe the stress response, begin rapidly shortening the sentences to simulate the synaptic activity, express the fight-flight-freeze response as the character reacts, using the tools of dramatic action to heighten tension and portraying the experience as something frightful and distinctly undesirable. The triggering incident brings back the fear, such as a pile of rubble on the side of the road being a potential IED location, or a loud firework recalling the initial moments of an enemy ambush. The trauma intrudes, and the character falls deep into the stress response, and now they react. How does this character react? By taking cover? By attacking the aggressor who so reminds them of the face of their enemy? Once the initial event starts, then the character continues to respond. Do they try to get to safety? Secure the area and eliminate the enemy? Eventually, the character likely recognizes their response is inappropriate. It wasn’t a gunshot, it was a car backfiring, the smell of copper isn’t the sight of a blown-apart comrade and the rank odor of blood, it’s just a jug of musty pennies. This fear will lead to control mechanisms where the victim realizes that their response is irrational. Frequently, the fear is still there, and it still struggles with control. This could heighten a feeling a powerlessness in the character as they try and fail to put the fear under control: "Yes, I know this isn’t real and there’s nothing to be afraid of, but I’m still shaking and I am still afraid!" It’s a horrifying logical track, a fear that the victim isn’t even in control of their thoughts - the one place that they should have control - and that they might always be this way. There’s no safety since even their thoughts aren’t safe. Despair might also follow, as the victim frantically asserts to regain control. Usually with time, the fear starts to lessen as the logical centers of the brain regain control, and the fear diminishes. Some times, the victim can't even really recall the exact crippling sense of fear when attempting to recall it, only that they were afraid and that it was deeply scary and awful, but the notion that it happened remains in their mind.

Control mechanisms are also important to developing a believable PTSD victim. Most sufferers dread the PTSD response and so actively avoid objects or situations that could potentially trigger. Someone who may have had to escape from a helicopter falling into the ocean may not like to be immersed in water. Someone who was hit by a hidden IED may swerve to avoid suspicious piles in the road. Someone buried under a collapsing ceiling may become claustrophobic. Thus, many characters with PTSD will be hypervigilant almost to the point of exhaustion, avoiding setting off the undesired response. This hypervigilance is mentally taxing; the character begins to become sluggish mentally as all their energy is squeezed out, leaving them struggling for even the simplest of rational thoughts. This mental fog can be translated onto the page in dramatic effect by adding paragraph length to even simple actions, bringing the reader along into the fog, laboriously seeing the character move to perform simple actions. Then, mix in a loss of a sense of purpose. They’re adrift, not exactly sure what they’re doing and barely aware of what’s happening, although they are thinking and functioning. In the character’s daily life, they are living their life using maximum effort to avoid triggering responses; this is another aspect of control that the character can use as an attempt to claw back some semblance of power in their own lives. Even control methods that aren’t necessarily healthy such as drinking themselves to pass out every night or abusing sleeping pills in an attempt to sleep due to their nightmares, are ways to attempt to regain a sense of normalcy and function. Don’t condescend to these characters and make them pathetic, that’s just another layer of cruelty, but showing the unhealthy coping mechanisms can demonstrate the difficulty that PTSD victims are feeling. Combined with an external perspective, the author can show the damage that these unhealthy actions are doing without casting the character as weak for not taking a different path.

External perspectives focus on the other characters and how they observe and react to the individual in question. Since the internal thought process of the character is not known, sudden reactions to an unknown trigger can be quite jarring for characters unaware, which can mirror real-life experiences that individuals can have with PTSD-sufferers. In these types of stories, the character’s reaction to the victim is paramount. PTSD in real life often evokes feelings of helplessness in loved ones when they simply cannot act to help, can evoke confusion, or anger and resentment. These reactions are powerful emotions with the ability to drive character work, and so external perspectives can be useful for telling a story about what it is like for loved ones who suffer in their own fashion. External perspectives can be used not just in describing triggering episodes, but in exploring how the character established coping mechanisms and how their loved ones react to them. Some mechanisms are distinctly unhealthy, such as alcohol or prescription drug abuse, complete withdrawal, or a refusal to drive vehicles, and these create stress and a feeling of helplessness in characters or can impel them to try and take action. Others can be healthy, and a moment of inspiration and joy for an external perspective could be sharing in that mechanism, demonstrating empathy and understanding which evokes strong pathos, and hopefully to friends of those who suffer from PTSD, a feeling that they too, are not alone.

As the character progresses, successes and failures can often be one of the most realistic and most important things to include within the work, since those consumers who have PTSD will see parts of themselves in the characters, which can build empathy and cut down on the feelings of isolation that many victims of PTSD feel. A character could, over the course of the story, begin weaning themselves off of their control mechanisms, have the feelings of panic subside as their logical sides more quickly assert control, replace unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthier ones, or other elements of character progression and growth. Contrarily, a character making progress could, after experiencing significant but unrelated stressors, backslide either into unhealthy coping mechanisms or be blindsided by another attack. This is a powerful fear for the victim, since it can cause them to think ‘all my progress, all my effort, and I am not free!’ This is often a great fear for PTSD users (people with depression often have the same feeling) that find methods of coping are no longer as effective, and the struggle is perceived as one that they’re ultimately doomed to failure. This feeling of inevitable failure can lead to self-harm and suicide as their avenue of success seems to burn to ash right as it was in their hands. More than one soldier suffering from PTSD has ended up concluding: “Fuck it, I can’t live like this,” as horrible as that is. Don’t be afraid to include setbacks and backsliding, those happen in reality, and can be one of the most isolating fears in their lives; if the goal of portraying PTSD accurately is to help remove that feeling of isolation, then content creators must not avoid these experiences. Success as well as failure are essential to PTSD in characters in stories, these elements moreso than any other, I believe, will transcend the medium and form a connection, fulfilling the objective we set out to include in the beginning paragraphs.

Coming Back to the Beginning

It might be counterintuitive at first glance to say “including military PTSD will probably mean it will be a long journey full of discouraging story beats that might make readers depressed,” because that’s definitely going to discourage some readers to do that. I don’t see it that way, though. The people that want to do it should go in knowing it’s going to be hard, and let that strengthen their resolve, and put the best creation they can forward. The opposite is also true. Not every prospective author has to want to include any number of difficult subjects in their works, and that’s perfectly fine. Content creators must be free to shape the craft that they so desire without the need to be obligated to tackle every difficult issue, and so no content creator should be thought of as lesser or inferior because they opt not to include it in their works. I think that’s honestly stronger than handling an important topic poorly, or even worse, frivolously. Neither should anyone think that a content creator not including PTSD in their works means that they don’t care about those who suffer from it or for those who care about them or who simply don’t care about the subject in general. That’s just a terrible way to treat someone, and in the end, this entire excursion was about the opposite

Ultimately, this essay is a chance not only to help improve creative works involving PTSD, but to reflect on the creative process. Those who still want to proceed, by all means, do so. Hopefully this essay will help you create something that can reach someone. If every piece of work that helps portray PTSD can reach someone somewhere and make things easier, even if ever so little, well then, that’s what it’s really all about.

Hoping everyone has a peaceful Memorial Day. Be good to each to other.

SLAL

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