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featherlinneawriting · 2 years ago

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I'm in Love with the Villainess (review kinda)

The book series finally been concluded with 5 books and me finally finishing to read it, it was a pretty good novel series in my opinion!

I saw this serious on a different website before it got its publishing on Kindle and so forth in which the title of the translation was “I favour the Villainess” which is the title I usually first remember it by haha.

The Novel series was written by Inori and Illustrated by Hangata, according to amazon at least.

We follow the protagonist that wakes up as Rae Taylor in front of her person of affection Claire Francois. Instead of being bullied by Claire, Rae even encourages Claire to do more. Which sounds bizarre but gets quite the comedic reactions therefore.

Sets in a middleagish magic world where they are currently going to the academy. Rae is a commoner while Claire is an aristrocat/noble.

Noble are usually the only ones with magic, but much like with Rae are not the only ones that can use it.

POLITICS ahh, well for people who like politics and conflicts of different countries and issues, than you are in luck, after all the possibility of Revolution is mentioned right from the beginning, cause not only is Rae reincarnated, she is recarnated with the knowledge of Revolover an Otome game she played in her last life, where Claire is the Villainess btw!

The world is fairly detailed, from the kingdom to its conflicts and more, personally I wasn’t that interested in it, but even in later books where they go outside their own country you still have plenty of country and political conflicts to read. Might be hit or miss for everyone in that regard.

Another great thing is the LGBT+ representation! From very early on you’ll get to know Rae as a Lesbian, who is very much in love with the noble Claire. But there are multiple mentions of trans people, gender disphoria, even nonbinary people were mentioned I think and and the conflict that arises when you won’t be accepted for who you are. I found myself quite touched and felt like I could relate to most of these characters, as a trans nonbinary ace romantic lesbian myself.

Personally I really, really like when a reincarnated person uses their knowledge be it of just their own world or here as basically precognition to their advantage. However unlike in many other novel series, we are ultimately left in the dark for most of it, while still feeling like we have a similar amount of knowledge as Rae. She explains plenty, but the most important she only reveals as things start coming together in her favour. So basically you know what the world is about, but you don’t know as much as Rae as she does everything for the sake of Claire. It makes for quite the nice reveal and tension as we realize why Rae said certain things we could not understand until later. And I loved that.

Romance: Is plentiful and earned, and there maybe more than just Rae that loves Claire, so Rae has quite the rivalry to capture her beloved heart! But there are even people that also like Rae, who got no chance at her love for Claire of course!

Maybe a tad spoiler but I found that the author might have added Aleah and May despite the plot relevances just as like a sweet selfindulgend fantasy. Personally I don’t think these two were necessary at all, I found it a bit staggering even. I mean I did get used to them, but I still find it odd, I’d rather would have had more of Rae and Claire scenes then with these two, but meh maybe I am just biased. I do like Aleah and May, but their addition still feels strange even after finishing the novel series. At least their plot relevenacy was pretty good in the end haha

Also, the last book is such wack that I was like “wtf is happening and why does it make sense???”, not that I am gonna say more since I want to keep this mostly spoiler free.

It it is certainly not your typical otomo reincarnated/isekai novel that is for sure, but if you like lesbian women romance, than this is absolutely worth it.

For me it was a bit dry of a read, because I am not that fond of politics and similar information based stuff etc. Information dumps. But either way I still liked the series a lot, and you know having some actual romantic lesbian story without sex being in the story, is very good. It is not a smut story, just nice romance between two women.

Give it a read while you have the time! Especially the first 2 books!

#I'm in love with the villainess review #i'm in love with the villainess #i favor the villainess #I favour the villainess

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sebeth · 1 year ago

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Who's Who In The DC Universe #1: Intro, Abel, Abnegazar, Rath, & Ghast, and Abra Kadabra

When I was young, there was no internet. If you lived in small towns, there was no comic book store. You had to settle for the comic books that could be found in the spinner racks found in drug stores, grocery stores, etc. You may not get every issue of the series. The internet didn’t exist so you couldn’t jump online to ask questions. You had the actual issues, the letter pages in the issues, and your own imagination to fill in the gaps. There were also a handful of series that I bought religiously (and were always available at my local spinner rack) that were essential in building my knowledge of the DC and Marvel Universes. The series were:

Who’s Who In The DC Universe

Secret Origins

The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe

Marvel Saga: The Official History of the DC Universe

Seriously, the number of characters I decided were my favorites after a one/two-page entry! I’m on a nostalgia kick for my childhood comics and the vastness of the DC Universe before the Crisis on Infinite Earths. Don’t get me wrong, I love characters from the various reboots – Tim, Conner, Kyle, Bart, Helena B, the various post-crisis JSA legacy characters. I simply don’t think DC needs to “Crisis-reboot” every few years, make a new continuity “to make things easier for new readers” only to re-insert old characters and storytelling elements into the new continuity thus complicating the new continuity and causing another “Crisis-reboot). But I’m beginning to veer off into a lengthy rant about what I don’t like about modern DC/Marvel comics and this post is about nostalgia.

Let’s crack open the first issue of Who’s Who in the Dc Universe, published in 1985. In retrospect, its hilarious that DC was putting out these 24 issues in the midst of the Crisis of Infinite Earths series, considering the Crisis would retcon most of these entries. Maybe should have started a few years earlier. Oh well.

The inside cover features a brief history of the beginning of DC Comics. The highlights:

February 1935: New Fun Comics is introduced to the world. Six months later, Jerry Siegal and Joe Shuster would create (no, not Superman) Doctor Occult.

December 1935: New Comics was published. Twelve issues later it became New Adventure Comics and later simply Adventure Comics. The series featured characters like Sagebrush ‘n’ Cactus, Jibbly Jones, Sir Loin of Beef, the Federal Men and others. I consider myself to be very well-informed of the comics from the Golden Age to the Final Crisis era but if you are familiar with those characters of New Comics, I salute you as a comic book expert.

March 1937: Detective Comics, the first all-new comic based on a single theme is published. Simon & Schuster again created the debut characters of Slam Bradley and Spy. Simon & Schuster are most well-known for their creation of Superman but they deserve credit for their non-Kryptonian DC creations. Slam Bradley, original star of the Detective Comics title would later be integrated into the Gotham titles, most notably in the Catwoman series written by Ed Brubaker.

April 1938: Action Comics #1 was published and featured Simon & Schuster’s most famous creation: Superman

Marv Wolfman than states that Superman was quickly followed by Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern, Hawkman, etc.

Not mentioned is DC buying out various companies in the 1970s/1980s: Charlton, Fawcett, Quality, etc that led to the acquisition of characters like the Shazam Family, the Blackhawks, Plastic Man, Captain Atom, Blue Beetle, Peacemaker, Judomaster, Nightshade, the Question, etc.

The inside cover also contains a pronunciation guide for the characters with entires.

The entries:

Abel by Joe Orlando

Caretaker of the House of Secrets, somewhere in the Kentucky Hills

The House was built by the mysterious Senator Sandsfield who swore that no one but a pure-bred Kentuckian would ever live there

Sansfield’s wife went insane within months of living there, he sold the house

The next four owners, “none of whom were of pure Kentucky stock” fled the house within three months’ time

The house’s next owner attempted to move the house across the state line, the house itself rebelled (!): “tearing itself free of the trailer and forcing itself over a cliff, before finally coming to rest beside a cemetery less than 200 yards from the state line

The only other house in the area is the House of Mystery, standing just across the cemetery

Little is known of Abel’s life before he became the caretaker for the House of Secrets except that he was a solitary, lonesome man, with an imaginary companion named Goldie

Abel was recommended for the job by his brother Cain, the caretaker of the House of Mystery

This is what modern comics is missing – sentient houses that rids itself of unwanted owners via insanity or old-fashioned murder! I never read much of the House of Secrets/Mystery titles so I don’t know if the series played up Abel and Cain’s biblical connections. I do remember the duo making an appearance in a Secret Origins issue and the fratricide was jokingly mentioned. Late 80s/early 90s readers will recognize the duo from Neil Gaiman’s Sandman series. Gaiman did have Cain murder Abel (don’t worry, he gets better). Modern viewers will know the duo from their appearance in the Netflix Sandman show.

Abnegazar, Rath, & Ghast by Craig Hamilton & Dick Giordano

The trio inhabited Earth a billion years ago, “using their magical powers to spread evil over the planet’s prehuman population.

The trio was banished to internal imprisonment beneath the earth by the Timeless Ones.

The trio had created talismans – the Silver Wheel of Wyorlath, the Green Bell of Uthool, the Red Jar of Calythos – and had hidden them beneath the earth’s surface

Felix Faust conjured the spirits of the trio in the 20th century in an effort to gain more power. The trio informed Faust of the talismans but warned they were guarded by magical creatures.

Faust decided force the Justice League to unearth the talismans, setting events in motion that would free the trio in the past

The Justice League, already on a mission in time, defeated the freed trio

The JLA would battle the trio on three other occasions.

The trio is goofy looking, Each one wears nothing but purple briefs and pixie boots. All three are pink-skinned. One looks human except his skin is covered in circles. Two are bald but the third has a mohawk, One has huge pointed ears and another has oversized eyes. I was always “meh” on the trio. They are also known as the Demons Three.

Abra Kadabra by Carmine Infantino & Frank McLaughlin

A stage magician from the 64th Century, frustrated by the lack of audience acceptance as the super-science of the time made his tricks seem commonplace.

Kadabra stole a time machine and journeyed to the 20th Century where he still failed as a stage magician.

He decided to use his futuristic scientific knowledge to commit a series of robberies, forcing his victims to applaud his actions.

His crimes led to repeated confrontations with the Flash (Barry Allen).

Abra needs to accept that he sucks as a magician. He had all the future knowledge and tech and he still couldn’t succeed? He should have been blowing Penn & Teller, David Copperfield, etc, out of the water! The various Flashes have such an extensive Rogues gallery and Abra Kadabra is important part of it but I’d put him at the “C” level.

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agermanadventurer · 4 years ago

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A start

Let’s start somewhere shall we?

The German language is generally considered quite hard because of it’s grammar - which is understandable. If you are a monoligual English speaker you have never encountered the different complexities that are going to show up. But have no fear-! All of these things have been learned before and can be learned by you if you aspire to. I am not going to make this blog a step-by-step blog to learn German - I simply don’t have neither the time nor the patience to do that. But I will guide you to some free sources to get started to be able to follow along with other things I’ll be talking about in the future, and these are both things I’ve come across in my studying and also things I wish I had found earlier.

BOOKS (pdfs)

german language course - Simply named German Language Course is a pdf book that is written by several collaborating authors in an effort to create a beginner’s guide to the German language. It’s constantly being improved but the newer version here is lacking a bit and the original release from 2006 linked above is a bit more put together but choose from your own accord.

basic german - Basic German, a text/work book for grammar! Really- there’s a lot of grammar in there but it’s quite easy to navigate and can be useful for anyone learning the language or the grammar.

mein-deutschbuch.de - Mein Deutschbuch is technically a website but nevermind that. It offers lists of different grammar rules and gives you excercises to practice your grammar. The only downside is that everything is in german. It’s great for more advanced learners though.

pdfdrive.com/german-language-books - And here’s a link to many other free books that can be downloaded.

YOUTUBE CHANNELS (for language learning)

Get Germanized - A youtube channel dedicated to teaching it’s viewers German and also about the German culture. There are full course German videos only focusing on exposing and teaching as well as shorter videos with cultural comparisons and entertainment.

Easy German - Easy German publish videos for both advanced learners and beginners. They focus much on teaching spoken German but also talks about grammar, and they offer new vocabulary.

Learn German - A channel that uses a simple artstyle to explain different parts of the German language. The channel also sorts their videos after language level so even for someone in level C1 might find something useful in there.

Learn German with Herr Antrim - Herr Antrim wants to teach you German for free. His videos brings up grammar, pronounciation, and tak about the German culture.

Besides these channels you also have plenty of videos repeating german phrases and vocabulary for when you sleep (can’t really recommend to sleep while you listen to them) and you can sit down and take a few notes from those too if you want to become familiar with the sounds and some of the phrases.

YOUTUBE CHANNELS (for entertainment and exposure)

Hi From Hamburg - Lila is an american who moved to Hamburg and is making videos talking about her experience with it and she makes a lot of videos for simple entertainment. Her channel is one of the few English ones I’m going to include in this list.

Dinge Erklärt - Kurzgesagt - Kurzgesagt is a channel with pretty animation explaining different concepts, ideas, and myths in our modern society today. They talk about philosophy, science, religious ideas, psychology, and more.

maiLab - MaiLab is a scientific channel in German. In their videos they talk about various topics within biology, chemistry, psychology, or of different concepts and myths in society today.

Related to maiLab are also channels like Quarks and MrWissen2go.

100SekundenPhysik - For those who are into physics, this one can be intresting for you. 100SekundenPhysik brings up and explains physics, but in German and in short comprehensible videos.

Dagi Bee - For those not as interested in science, here’s an entertainment channel (and a few more after this). Dagi Bee is a channel created for entertainment, she features music videos, make up and hair turtorials, reaction videos, vlogs and more.

Marvyn Macnificent - Marvyn makes entertainment and vlog videos; challenges, make up tutorials and reviews, collaborations (and videos with friends), and also different types of discussions of other social media figures.

Alycia Marie - This channel is for any make up and cosplay fan. Alycia’s channel is made up of make up tutorials, make up reviews and comparisons, as well as cosplay displays. She also have a second channel for her music.

Other channels like Dagi Bee and Alycia Marie is for example Luisa Crashion and Jasmin Azizam

DoctorBenx - A look into the gaming part of youtube and we have DoctorBenx as a prominent figure on the list. His videos consist of him playin games such as Minecraft and Roblox but also GTA5 and simulator/indie games. He works closely with the youtuber AwesomeElina.

Vlesk - If anyone’s still into Among Us you’ll want to check out Vlesk who almost exclusively makes videos of said game at the moment. His channel is rather young still but the older videos are him playing TTT in Garry’s Mod.

Zombey - For those more intrested in playthroughs, Zombey is more appropriate. His channel features many different games such as Demon’s Soul and Fall Guys.

APPS

Duolingo - Duolingo is always mentioned when it comes to these things, but it’s a good app. It provides a simple, almost game-like, format that helps you practice different concepts in your target language.

Memrise - Can’t forget Memrise on this list. Memrise uses video clips of real life people using the language to get you to associate the phrases with the situation and to get you to immerse yourself with the language.

Drops - Drops focuses on visual learning, getting your brain to associate the vocabulary you’re exposed to with the pictures and symbols on the screen. The app is great for learning new vocabulary and you can choose yourself which topic to start with.

Wordbit German - WordBit German is useful for vocabulary exposure. You download it and every time you open your phone a German word is shown on the screen and you can mark different word by familiarity.

HelloTalk - This app helps you to reach out to native speakers of your target language and you can also help others seeking to learn your language. You can send voice messages, make corrections and translate the messages directly. The app can be used for free, but there are many functions that are limited without paying. Other similar apps are also available (often with lower quality but they are free).

PODCASTS (language learning)

Slow German - The journalist Annik Rubens talks about everyday topics and phenomenons in the german culture and society in short recordings. Perfect to practice your listening comprehension as a beginner and get used to the new parts of the phonology - and it’s available on Spotify.

Easy German - They also have a podcast! They also talk about the german culture but also topics relevant to the rest of the world, though in a bit more natural speed and with a bit more relaxed manner. (Available on Spotify)

Radio D - Unfortunately not available on Spotify but it is easily found with just a google search (and by the attached link). The podcast is made for complete beginners, guiding you throughout different scenarios and settings and building up your understanding and basic knowledge of the language. Transscripts are also available for download.

Coffee Break German - A series of lessons where the listener, together with the English speaking host Mark, gets to learn German phrases and vocabulary from scratch with the help of Thomas. Each episode is between 20 to 30 minutes so get your pen and paper out to take effective notes. (Available on Spotify)

You will come across many other podcasts, these are just a good place to start.

PODCASTS (for entertainment)

Eine Stunde History - With new episodes every Friday this podcast takes events throughout history and compare their relevance to today and the future. Perfect for those who have an interest in history. (Available on Spotify)

ZEIT WISSEN - Woher weißt Du dass? - The central theme being science, this podcast gives you a scientific perspective on a new question that is being explored every week. You want to know if humans can hybernate or what the consequenses of having sex with the neanderthals were? Not necessarily! But now you can! (Available on Spotify)

Verbrechen - This podcast features true crime, being led by Andreas Sentker and Sabine Rückert. Sabine is the one talking about the cases she’s been met with throughout her career in law enforcement. (Available on Spotify)

Biologie Passion Podcast - If you have a biology test coming up, if you want to repeat some long lost knowledge from school, or maybe you just have a passion for biology - then this is a good podcast for you. Christian Schweda is happy to teach (or reteach) you some biology. (Available on Spotify)

Eli’s Abitur Crashkurs - For those of you who are study freaks in general, you can visit Eli on Spotify! She has made a podcast on everything she has to study for during her Abitur. And the best thing is - they only come in 10-20 min episodes. But be aware for speedy speech. (Available on Spotify)

Die Copycats - Both on Youtube and on Spotify these guys talk about all sorts of nerdy things from video games to bad music and give their opinions on many other things. They’re quite small so go and give them a bit of love. (Available on Spotify)

#QueerAsBerlin - Not available on Spotify unfortunately. But as the title suggests is this podcast a commentary, interviews and a view on different aspects of social problems through the lens of the LGBTQ+ community in Berlin.

Bin ich Süßsauer? - For my fellow asian LGBTQ+ people out there; this underrated podcast features an asian host in Germany, talking about different parts of LGBTQ (from what I understand the host themselves are trans and therefore the general theme) with different guests. Of course this can be enjoyed by anyone, just a small shout out for diversity. (Available on Spotify)

Schnapsidee - der Podcast über Liebe, Love & sexy sein - From the name alone you are most likely able to deduse the theme of this podcast. Anna and Paula talks about their love life, relationships, and sex! Their content is lighthearted and enjoyable to listen to. (Available on Spotify)

Dick und Doof - Without any real theme to their podcast, the two friends Sandra and Luca is having a great time, and we get to listen to their conversations about anything and everything. The both of them focus mostly on humour, sprinkled with an insight in their private lives. (Available on Spotify)

Alliteration am Arsch - Or AAA in foreshortening, features Bastian Bielendorfer and Reinhard Remfort who found themselves as friends after realizing the things they had in common and now we get to listen as the both of them discuss anything and everything through the lens of comedy. (Available on Spotify)

#deutsch #deutsch lernen #vokabeln #german #learning german #german vocabulary #german sources

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soundsfaebutokay · 3 years ago

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youtube

So I've recc'd this video before, but it deserves its own post because it's one of my favorite things on youtube. It's a Tedx Talk by comics writer, editor, and journalist Jay Edidin, and I really think that it will connect with a lot of people here.

If you live and breathe stories of all kinds, you might like this.

If you care about media representation, you might like this.

If you're neurodivergent, you might like this.

If you're interested in a gender transition story that veers from the norm, you might like this.

If you love the original Leverage and especially Parker, and understand how important it is that a character like her exists, you will definitely like this.

Transcript below the cut:

You Are Here: The Cartography of Stories

by Jay Edidin

I am autistic. And what this means in practice is that there are some things that are easier for me than they are for most people, and a great many things that are somewhat harder, and these affect my life in more or less overt ways. As it goes, I'm pretty lucky. I've been able to build a career around special interests and granular obsession. My main gig at the moment is explaining superhero comics continuity and publishing history for which work I am somehow paid in actual legal currency—which is both a triumph of the frivolous in an era of the frantically pragmatic, and a job that's really singularly suited to my strengths and also to my idiosyncrasies.

I like comics. I like stories in general, because they make sense to me in ways that the rest of the world and my own mind often don't. Self-knowledge is not an intuitive thing for me. What sense of self I have, I've built gradually and laboriously and mostly through long-term pattern recognition. For decades, I didn't even really have a self-image. If you'd asked me to draw myself, I would eventually have given you a pair of glasses and maybe a very messy scribble of hair, and that would've been about it. But what I do know—backwards, forwards, and in pretty much every way that matters—are stories. I know how they work. I understand their language, their complex inner clockwork, and I can use those things to extrapolate a sort of external compass that picks up where my internal one falls short. Stories—their forms, their structure, the sense of order inherent to them—give me the means to navigate what otherwise, at least for me, would be an impassable storm of unparsable data. Or stories are a periscope, angled to access the parts of myself I can't intuitively see. Or stories are a series of mirrors by which I can assemble a composite sketch of an identity I rarely recognize whole...which is how I worked out that I was transgender, in my early thirties, by way of a television show.

This is my story. And it's about narrative cartography, and representation, and why those things matter. It's about autism and it's about gender and it's about how they intersect. And it's about the kinds of people we know how to see, and the kinds of people we don't. It's not the kind of story that gets told a lot, you might hear a lot, because the narrative around gender transition and dysphoria in our culture is really, really prescriptive. It's basically the story of the kid who has known for their whole life that they're this and not that, and that story demands the kind of intuitive self-knowledge that I can't really do, and a kind of relationship to gender that I don't really have—which is part of why it took me so long to figure my own stuff out.

So, to what extent this story, my story has a beginning, it begins early in 2014 when I published an essay titled, "I See Your Value Now: Asperger's and the Art of Allegory." And it explored, among other things, the ways that I use narrative and narrative structures to navigate real life. And it got picked up in a number of fairly prominent places that got linked, and I casually followed the ensuing discussion. And I was surprised to discover that readers were fairly consistently assuming I was a man. Now, that in itself wasn't a new experience for me, even though at the time I was writing under a very unambiguously female byline. It had happened in the letter columns of comics I'd edited. It had happened when a parody Twitter account I'd created went viral. When I was on staff at Wired, I budgeted for fancy scotch by putting a dollar in a box every time a reader responded in a way that made it clear they were assuming I was a man in response to an article where my name was clearly visible, and then I had to stop doing that because it happened so often I couldn't afford to keep it up. But in all of those cases, the context, you know, the reasons were pretty obvious. The fields I'd worked in, the beats I covered, they were places where women had had to fight disproportionally hard for visibility and recognition. We live in a culture that assumes a male default, so given a neutral voice and a character limit, most readers will assume a male author.

But this was different, because this wasn't just a book I'd edited, it wasn't a story I'd reported—it was me, it was my story. And it made me uncomfortable, got under my skin in ways that the other stuff really hadn't. And so I did what I do when that happens, and I tried to sort of reverse-engineer it to look at the conclusions and peel them back to see the narratives behind them and the stories that made them tick. And I started this, I started this by going back to the text of the essay, and you know, examining it every way I could think of: looking at craft, looking at content. And in doing so, I was surprised to realize that while I had written about a number of characters with whom I identified closely, that every single one of those characters I'd written about was male. And that surprised me even more than the responses to the essay had, because I've spent my career writing and talking and thinking about gender and representation in popular media. In 2014, I'd been the feminist gadfly of an editorial department and multiple mastheads. I'd been a founding board member of an organization that existed to advocate for more and better representation of women and girls in comics characters and creators. And most of my favorite characters, the ones I'd actively seek out and follow, were women. Just not, apparently, the characters I saw myself in.

Now I still didn't realize it was me at this point. Remember: self-knowledge, not very intuitive for me. And while I had spent a lot of time thinking about gender, I'd never really bothered to think much about my own. I knew academically that the way other people read and interpreted my gender affected and had influenced a lifetime of social and professional interactions, and that those in turn had informed the person I'd grown up into during that time. But I really believed, like I just sort of had in the back of my head, that if you peeled away all of that social conditioning, you'd basically end up with what I got when I tried to draw a self-portrait. So: a pair of glasses, messy scribble of hair, and in this case, maybe also some very strong opinions about the X-Men. I mean, I knew something was off. I'd always known something was off, that my relationship to gender was messy and uncomfortable, but gender itself struck me as messy and uncomfortable, and it had never been a large enough part of how I defined myself to really feel like something that merited further study, and I had deadlines, and...so it was always on the back burner. So, I looked, I looked at what I had, at this improbable group of exclusively male characters. And I looked and I figured that if this wasn't me, then it had to be a result of the stories I had access to, to choose from, and the entertainment landscape I was looking at. And the funny thing is, I wasn't wrong, exactly. I just wasn't right either.

See, the characters I'd written about had one other significant trait in common aside from their gender, which is that they were all more or less explicitly, more or less heavily coded as autistic. And I thought, "Ah, yes. This explains it. This is under representation in fiction echoing under representation in life and vice versa." Because the characteristics that I'd honed in on, that I particularly identified with in these guys, were things like emotional unavailability and social awkwardness and granular obsession, and all of those are characteristics that are seen as unsympathetic and therefore unmarketable in female characters. Which is also why readers were assuming that I was a man.

Because, you see, here's the thing. I'm not the only one who uses stories to navigate the world. I'm just a little more deliberate about it. For humans, stories formed the bridge between data and understanding. They're where we look when we need to contextualize something new, or to recognize something we're pretty sure we've seen before. They're how we identify ourselves; they're how we locate ourselves and each other in the larger world. There were no fictional women like me; there weren't representations of women like me in media, and so readers were primed not to recognize women like me in real life either.

Now by this point, I had started writing a follow-up essay, and this one was also about autism and narratives, but specifically focused on how they intersected with gender and representation in media. And in context of this essay, I went about looking to see if I could find even one female character who had that cluster of traits I'd been looking for, and I was asking around in autistic communities. And I got a few more or less useful one-off suggestions, and some really, really splendid arguments about semantics and standards, and um...then I got one answer over and over and over in community after community after community. "Leverage," people told me. "You have to watch Leverage."

So I watched Leverage. Leverage is five seasons of ensemble heist drama. It's about a team of very skilled con artists who take down corrupt and powerful plutocrats and the like, and it's a lot of fun, and it's very clever, and it's clever enough that it doesn't really matter that it's pretty formulaic, and I enjoyed it a lot. But what's most important, what Leverage has is Parker.

Parker is a master thief, and she is the best of the best of the best in ways that all of Leverage's characters are the best of the best. And superficially, she looks like the kind of woman you see on TV. So she's young, and she's slender, and she's blonde, and she's attractive but in a sort of approachable way. And all of that familiarity is brilliant misdirection, because the thing is, there are no other women like Parker on TV. Because Parker—even if it's never explicitly stated in the show—Parker is coded incredibly clearly as autistic. Parker is socially awkward. Her speech tends to have limited inflection; what inflection it does have is repetitive and sounds rehearsed a lot of the time. She's not emotionally literate; she struggles with it, and the social skills she develops over the series, she learns by rote, like they're just another grift. When she's not scaling skyscrapers or cartwheeling through laser grids, she wears her body like an ill-fitting suit. Parker moves like me. And Parker, Parker was a revelation—she was a revolution unto herself. In a media landscape where unempathetic women usually exist to either be punished or "loved whole," Parker got to play the crabby savant. And she wasn't emotionally intuitive but it was never ever played as the product of abuse or trauma even though she had survived both of those—it was just part of her, as much as were her hands or her eyes. And she had a genuine character arc. My god, she had a genuine romantic arc, even. And none of that required her to turn into anything other than what she was. And in Parker I recognized a thousand tics and details of my life and my personality...but. I didn't recognize myself.

Why? What difference was there in Parker, you know, between Parker and the other characters I'd written about? Those characters, they'd spanned ethnicities and backgrounds and different media and appearances and the only other characteristic they all had in common was their gender. So that was where I started to look next, and I thought, "Well, okay, maybe, maybe it's masculinity. Maybe if Parker were less feminine, she'd click with me the way those other characters had." So then I tried to imagine a Parker with short hair, who's explicitly butch, and...nothing. So okay, I extended it in what seems like the only logical direction to extend it. I said, "Well, if it's not masculinity, what if it's actual maleness? What if Parker were a man?" Ah. Yeah.

In the end, everything changed, and nothing changed, which is often the way that it goes for me. Add a landmark, no matter how slight, and the map is irrevocably altered. Add a landmark, and paths that were invisible before open wide. Add a landmark, and you may not have moved, but suddenly you know where you are and where you can go.

I wasn't going to tell this story when I started planning this talk. I was gonna tell a similar story, it was about stories, like this is, about narratives and the ways that they influence our culture and vice versa. And it centered around a group of women at NASA who had basically rewritten the narrative around space exploration, and it was a lot more fun, and I still think it was more interesting. But it's also a story you can probably work out for yourselves. In fact it's a story some of you probably have, if you follow that kind of thing, which you probably do given that you're here. And this is a story, my story is not a story that I like to tell. It's not a fun story to talk about because it's very personal and I am a very private person. And it's not universal. And it's not always relatable, and it's definitely not aspirational. And it's not the kind of story that you tend to encounter unless you're already part of it...which is why I'm telling it now. Because the thing is, I'm not the only person who uses stories to parse the world and navigate it. I'm just a little more deliberate. Because I'm tired of having to rely on composite sketches.

Open your maps. Add a landmark. Reroute accordingly.

#Jay Edidin #LGBTQ #autism #mind and body #gender norms #why humans need stories #Leverage #Parker #Abby posts Leverage #my faves #Youtube #I did my best with the transcript #sorry for any mistakes

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risingleomoon · 2 years ago

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A Return to Reading

Since realizing that I have not one but two libraries barely a stones throw from the Paul Brown Lofts, I've been taking some time to fall in love with books again. Oh, don't get me wrong, I never stopped reading! Once a Kindle was placed in my hands, I never stopped! But the truth is, I started reading exclusively ebooks and lost the passion for reading. Prior to moving, I had relied on old stand-by's like 'Survivor' (Tabitha King) or the Beautiful Creatures series. Anything I already knew because I had enough guessing going on in my real life. Toward the end, I devoured the Fear Street saga by R.L. Stine (which started a whole new rabbit hole of mental clarity) and was "in between books" at the time of my move.

Week one Downtown I stumbled upon the Central Library Annex; or as I call it the "little library". This pocket-sized land of books is no bigger than my entire loft x 2 and situated in Post Office Square. Other offices for FOCUS St. Louis and people like the Secretary of State plus a small gallery paying tribute to bald men in power share space with the newest and greatest tomes of knowledge and entertainment. That first day I was with Kiki. We tiptoed in through the revolving door, quietly past security and into an enormous atrium. It was there I smelled the paper. I followed my nose. The selection is small, as I prefaced. We were able to get our accounts all set up in minutes and walked out an hour later with the best credit limit I can receive from anyone: 100 books at a time. Each!

This initial visit yielded a powerful boon. I stumbled upon the phenomenal Tina Turner's newest title; "Happiness Becomes You". The dam broke. I read this book everywhere. At work, in the bath, lounging in bed on Sunday, over coffee and a Jay in the morning. Everywhere. It isn't a particularly long book and my nose only remained stuck for 3 or 4 days, but I absorbed so much more than words on pages. Everyone knows the Tina Turner story. That isn't what her new book covers. This book is different from "I, Tina". In "Happiness", Tina teaches us to look inward for the peace and balance we all seek so desperately. These were not new words to me, mind you. I've heard them before. Buddhist teaching crosses over my own Witchery pretty much regularly. When it doesn't it crosses over with my Jewish Mysticism and bounces off Scientific Theory quite nicely. I'm well rounded like that. I was also unsurprised that Tina "The Goddess" Turner was teaching Buddhism. After all, Angela Bassett basically just chanted her way through the second half of the movie. Maybe this time I was ready to listen.

My return to reading had less to do with enjoying books and more to do with getting my shit together. Circumstances aside, my one true soulmate has always been books. I outlined my grand plan for Bookstagram and reviews on Goodreads while registering my SLPL accounts. Nowhere in my plan did I specify enjoying it. As I'm sure you can tell, I never made it past the outline and brainstorm and managed to wrap up whatever had been lingering from JeffCo but failed to execute the new plan. I did post a few sporadic 'Grams. Still not ready to actually begin drafting (let alone publishing) my own content, I took this new creative passion to the back burner and returned for inspiration in books.

With the floodgates now wide open, I decided to go further. I'd finished my stack from "Pan's Labyrinth" to "The Essential Anthony Bourdain" and it was time to refill. I returned Julie Andrews and Greta Garbo along with Kiki's finished books and during week three we found SLPD's Central Library (or the "big library". I'm not clever and witty all the time, you know). This time I was prepared and took my shopping cart. Gathering a few comfort reads (Cassandra Clare. New Book. Not my fault.) led to "The School of Good and Evil". Shameless brag: by the time you read this I may or may not have met Soman Chainani. Day and night my world expanded again. I continued to read my Kindle exclusives and download my Amazon First Reads because one doesn't turn away from free books. Yet my heart has been in the turning of real pages.

I'm not sure how many weeks in we are now but I know I still haven't been to every section. From classics to science, a media center and kids wing with climbing chairs, I was mostly blown away by my ease and comfort inside. I never felt that way when visiting the Arnold Library in Jeffco. I was happy to collect any holds and leave. Eventually we stopped going altogether Now I'm becoming a local "Belle"

"I've come to return the book I borrowed! Got anything new?"

"Not since yesterday, Belle!"

I'm sure at some point I will unpack the psychology behind my stasis and frenetic return to reading. But for today, I'm going to enjoy another book.

#bookish #books & libraries #booksbooksbooks #bookaholic #booksarelife #reading #long reads #read in 2022 #library #librarylife #public libraries #st louis #slpl #st louis libraries

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ttlmt · 4 years ago

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do it bee

alright.

there’s a few things i kept seeing confusion about, so i’ll try to clear it up the best i can with my amateur enthusiast knowledge.

disclaimer: all of this could be completely wrong. this is just what i’ve learned from working as a bookseller in the past and taking a few classes on publishing and just generally doing a lot of personal research into it both as a reader and with interest in joining the industry. i do not know dan’s individual situation, nor am an expert by any means. i am also coming at this as a canadian, so the innerworkings of uk/us publishing are just from what ive learned here.

you will get through this book:

bee’s possibly incorrect far too long guide to the publishing industry and how international editions and signed copies might work for daniel howell’s new book ‘you will get through this night’ available for preorder now

follow @daysuntilthisnight for a countdown #shamelessselfpromo

1) the uk vs us edition

the uk cover is the one without dan’s face on it. the us cover is the one with dan’s face on it. its not uncommon to have multiple covers and putting someones face on the cover is a very american publisher thing to do, personally i really like both. the cover you get is dependent on where you/your country order the book from.

if you ordered from danandphilshop or shop.danielhowell, you will be getting the uk cover, as it is a uk business. if you ordered from the us store right when the book was announced and before the signed copies sold out, it will probably be the uk cover (more on that in the bit about signed books). after that, i’m not sure because i do not know how irlmerch’s distribution works.

one thing to note is all books have an ISBN number which is like a universal barcode for the book at all stores and it comes from the publisher. the beginning of the isbn dictates the publisher/language/product type/etc and the end identifies the particular book. the uk edition and the us edition have different isbn numbers, as will the ebook, audiobook, etc. this is a good way to figure out which edition you are buying from your local bookstore, and you can cross reference with the isbn in uk or us stores. its usually listed at the bottom of the product page online.

if you live in a country besides the us or the uk, it depends whether the book is being distributed or published in your country. distribution is often more cost effective, and is usually the way it works. as far as i know, dan’s book is being distributed (not published) to the countries on this list with the exception of the us where it is being published (not distributed). if a book is being published in a country, it will have a different isbn and sometimes a different cover. if a book is being distributed it will have the same isbn and cover as the country it is distributed from (usually the closest publishing hub, so london or new york in this case).

to know what edition is in your country, you can compare the isbn numbers and/or the covers. you can also take a look at your other books to see whats normal in your country to get sort of an idea. im assuming europe will get the uk edition but im not sure about other countries.

here in canada for example, our books are usually distributed from the US meaning you will be getting the us cover if you order the book from a canadian store. i ordered from irlmerch when dan’s book was announced though, so i think im getting the uk edition.

1.5) covers and book design

most of the time, especially with new authors, the author has very little say in the final decisions re: book cover and book design. they usually get input, and the publisher gets final say. book design is also a very different thing then general graphic design and professionals genuinely go to school for this. thats not to say there arent bad book designs or that regular people can’t do it too, it’s just something to keep in mind.

2) signed books vs signed editions

there are a few different ways that signed books can work. primarily, there are signed editions and signed books. both are physically signed by the author, the difference is when in the process these books are signed.

signed books is the ‘old-fashioned’ way, where the author will sit at a table and sign copies of their book. the author usually signs on the title page and for a long time, this was the only way to do it. they have already been printed by the publisher so they will have the same isbn as unsigned books. signed books are usually more limited, often they can be personalized, and if you have ever gone to a proper book signing where the author signed the book in front of you, you have a signed book. signed books are also sometimes made available at the authors local bookstore because they are able to sign them in person. as far as i know, the books that were ordered from danandphilshop or shop.danielhowell during the initial signed run will be signed books. i also believe there are/were limited signed books from uk retailers, i think those are/were signed books (not editions) where the isbn matches the normal first edition of the book.

signed editions are a fairly new thing, and have made signed books so much more accessible which is awesome! signed editions have a different isbn then their normal edition and signed book counterparts. they are technically two different books and are listed as a separate book in stores. that is because signed editions have one (1) extra page. this allows the author to be sent boxes of pages, not books, to sign BEFORE the books are bound. the pages are then sent back to the publisher to be included in the final printed copy of the book.

signed editions help authors to sign even more copies which allows for things like signing hundreds of thousands of copies of a book in some cases. if you are familiar with john green’s books (and hank’s too), he is a large part of the reason signed editions increased in popularity. for example, his book turtles all the way down had a signed edition and a normal edition, they were the same price but the signed edition included the one more page that john had signed. this also allows authors to do fully signed first edition runs, such as john’s new book the anthropocene reviewed (which comes out the same day as dan’s book lol), where every single copy of the first edition is signed (so there is no such thing as an unsigned american first edition, this is becoming more popular for some authors to do especially if the first edition print is not very a large quantity).

if you saw dan’s ig story from today (which was almost definitely a delayed post lmao), he was signing the signed edition papers that will be bound in the signed edition copies of the book in the us. as far as i know, it is only the us publisher that has this option. as you can see on the us store books-a-million, there is a signed edition and a normal edition. they are listed seperately and there are different isbns. the signed edition will be bound with the one extra page that dan has signed.

both types of signed books have been actually signed by dan and are so cool to have if that’s something you want and are able to get. if not, you’re not missing much.

3) book piracy and pricing

i’m not here to tell you what to do, so i won’t. i know being able to buy books is a privilege and dan is a millionaire. full stop. he doesn’t need the money and you probably do.

books are expensive. the difference between cost and price of a book can vary drastically. does your calc textbook actually cost the publisher $300? probably not, but it does cost more per copy to print less copies of something (like a textbook) then it does to print millions of copies of a nyt bestseller. does a $24 book cost that much to develop/print/distribute? maybe.

but most of that money goes to the publisher. the fact of the matter is authors get very little from the actual sale of the book (usually only a couple dollars), which okay, not exactly convincing you against piracy but hear me out. the actual number of sales a book has lets a publisher know how successful a book is, which helps to decide how many more prints/editions are made and often dictates future opportunities for authors.

a series of books that i love is very popular on tumblr, but there was a serious problem a few years ago where copies of the book were being pirated so much, sales were down so drastically, that the publisher almost didn't continue to publish the series. in the case of smaller authors or your favourite ongoing series, buying your copy of the book could be the difference between the existence of the next book or not. in dan’s case, i don’t know what his future plans are, idk if he plans to write more in the future, but i do know that publishers look at previous sales to decide if they are going to publish a book in the future.

ebooks are usually cheaper and more accessible if money is an issue. used books, while not helping with sales, are also a great option if you’re willing to wait and look around. you can often request your local library buy a book and read it that way, or they might even already have it. there probably even audiobooks and ebooks at your local library. stores like am*zon are usually cheaper as well. online stores of large chains like b&n and indigo will often have the books cheaper to match amazon. however if you can, support your local bookstore.

of course if the author is a horrible person do whatever tf you want. also fuck the textbook industry.

tldr: dan worked really hard on his book with professionals to make it the best it could possibly be. i think it looks beautiful, and it will help a lot of people. the publishing industry is a mess but really cool. check the isbn of the copy you ordered if you want clarification or you can just wait for the surprise.

#this is nearly 2k words #i was supposed to work today xsfhkdf #but this was fun!#also if anyone has any more info or anything id love to be (nicely) informed #and any other qs i can attempt to answer #ask #anon

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weaverofthreads · 4 years ago

Text

On the process of writing a novel...

Ok, so this began as a DM to a very dear friend who had said they were super excited to work on a novel of theirs that they'd abandoned for years, but they felt a bit lost when looking at the project again. They had "too many characters, too many intrigues" and they didn't "know how to create order" for all their ideas. They didn't know "what to keep, what to remove, what to change" and wanted to know if I had any tips.

I began to reply in messages and then realised I needed to make a whole post out of it, so here it is! All 3k words of it. This is for you, darling! I hope it helps.

Things I found extremely helpful when planning my novel for NaNoWriMo this year, after also taking some time off from it.

Most of this comes from Alicia Lidwina’s Four-Part article on her NaNoWriMo prep process, and setting up a writer’s notebook, for 2018. You can find the link to the first part here and I highly recommend you check out the whole series of articles for a more in-depth read.

Content of this ‘essay’:

Preparation, Groundwork, and Materials

Project 'Stats' & Overview

Mood, Moodboards, and Key Imagery

Things to Consider, and Important Bullet Points

Get to Know Your Characters

Chronological Order

Tangential and Preceding Events

Basic Premise, Plot Definition, Sub Plot Ideas

List of Locations

Scenes

Chapter Outline

NaNo Plan

Additional Notes and Tips for Writing

Ok. Let's begin.

First of all, I'm not saying that this is the only way to write or organise a novel. It can be tackled in as many ways as there are writers in the universe. This is just the method I used to get my ideas crystallised and organised.

Preparation, Groundwork, and Materials.

Take your preparation seriously. I bought a cheap but still nice A4 sketchbook with blank paper for maybe £2 at the local hobby store, and used it solely for the purposes of being my Novel Notebook. It doesn’t have to be a pretty, perfect, Aesthetic(TM) journal at all. Its function is to act as a route-guide through the process.

I bought a cute sticker from Etsy and used it as the front cover design so that I liked the book and that it felt a little bit special, without being too intimidating to put a mark in. Then I left the very first page blank, and opened it to the first double page. On the left, I wrote ‘Contents’ and then moved on to the right and wrote ‘Project Stats and Overview’.

I used a pen that was comfortable to write with, which for me was important. I’m a very tactile person, and having nice paper and pens (not necessarily fancy), made the process feel good.

Project Stats and Overview

This is the bare bones of the book, and includes details such as:

Project Working Title: (in my case it’s Weaver of Threads)

Targeted Wordcount: (to give yourself an idea of the scope, but it’s not necessary. For me it’s 50-100k)

Genre: (for me, fantasy)

Series: (will it be one book or more? For me, probably more than one, and at least two).

Inspiration: (here you can jot down all sorts of things which inspire your world and your writing, and it can be anything. In my case, I began with “density and lore, and feeling of being grounded in a real world from LOTR and Tolkien.” And I went on to include other writers and novels in the fantasy genre, as well as elements from our own world, such as Mongolian herding communities and way of life, the history of the Persian Empire, and Renaissance Florence!).

Project Timeline: Give yourself a structure, and be realistic. If you know you’re a slow writer who’s prone to distractions, be generous, but if you’re someone who responds well to short deadlines, tighten the time frame up a bit. I said “November 2020 - November 2021 for the whole manuscript” because I know I’m a procrastinator who gets dejected if they shoot past intense deadlines….

Editing Deadline: December 2021-January 2022. I know I can edit fairly quickly, so I made this one much shorter.

Main Requirements Prior to Starting: What do you need to get sorted before you can get going? It could be purchasing a laptop or figuring out a magic system. In my case, it was the latter.

What Happens in your novel?: This is not ‘what do your characters do?’, but what, in one sentence, actually happens in the book. For Fellowship of the Ring, you could say ‘a diverse group of people assemble and set off together with the goal of destroying the Ring’. LOADS more stuff actually takes place, obviously, but that’s probably the key thing that happens in that book. So, write the same thing for yours. I’m not going to tell you what happens in mine, because that would spoil it :).

That took up the first A4 page of my writer’s notebook, and after that, I moved on to Mood and Key Imagery.

Mood, Moodboards, and Key Imagery

On the left hand side of the page, I wrote down the words and concepts that sprang to mind when I thought of the novel itself. These were in no particular order or placement — just a random cloud of ideas in a rough column on the left hand side of the page — and they included: history, mystery, love, friendship, betrayal, nostalgic, homesick, sense of belonging, sense of place, searching, closeness, secrets… etc. etc.

Then on the right hand side, I wrote down five key words that I wanted to associate with the novel. These would form the ‘visual aesthetic’ in the background of my mind, and could be very easily expressed with a moodboard.

This same process (writing down words and creating a moodboard) could be achieved on a website like Pinterest. Take your time with it, find the right visual clues that really match the essence of your story, and create a final mood board with a limited number of panels that will be your novel’s ‘true north’ when it comes to feelings. If you're artistically inclined too, you could draw sketches of things relevant to your world too.

While this stage is really important for solidifying the feeling and mood of the novel, don’t get stuck here and spend forever procrastinating on Pinterest or whatever. Once you’ve crystallised that ambiance, it’s time to move on. It’s also perfectly fine to come back to this at a later stage if you find yourself running out of inspiration or drifting a bit. Daydreaming, drawing, mood-board-ing are all great ways to work on your novel on days when you don’t feel like writing.

Things to Consider:

Alicia Lidwina asked herself some questions which helped me get past the ‘block’ that I’d created when thinking about the novel, and those were:

What scares me about this story? (in my case it was the scope of it - it was easy for me to get lost in over-thinking tiny details and get too overwhelmed to handle the big picture)

What will readers take away from it? (in my case, I hoped that it was a sense of friendship, people from desperate cultures finding common ground, and a sense of being grounded in a real, tangible world.

What is its selling point? (essentially, why would an agent/publisher choose yours over the next one in the pile?). Don’t be bashful about this. This is your notebook, so if you’re proud of a feature or aspect of the story, write it down. In my case, there is no ‘Big Bad come to destroy the world’, no Chosen One who is the only one who can stop it. There is an antagonist, but it’s on a personal scale, and that’s the selling point. It’s about two people going on a personal journey to uncover a lost piece of knowledge that’s arguably not all that world-changing on its own, but which means the world to them.

What will be the three biggest issues in writing the first draft? Identify the three biggest roadblocks, and then take a bulldozer to them. For me, it was time management, getting mentally stuck, and the sheer darned effort of it becoming overwhelming!

Important Bullet Points

These are five key facts about your novel, distilled from the sections above. They include: What’s at the heart of the story? How long is the story? What’s the narrative focus of the story? What are the maximum number of main characters? And the maximum number of supporting characters (this obviously doesn’t mean you can’t have other, less important characters too!)?

Relationship between the two main characters is forefront

50-100k words

The novel’s focus is on the characters’ main goal (had to be more vague here so I didn't give it away)

2 main characters

3 supporting characters

If you find you’ve got too many main characters (not necessarily a bad thing to have a lot of characters - look at A Song of Ice and Fire after all!), then figure out whose story you want to tell here. You can always write another story with other characters in a connected novel, or a sequel. You don’t have to tell everything all at the same time.

Speaking of characters…

…Get to Know Your Main Characters:

Here you can write character sheets for each of your main characters and cast. There are hundreds of these templates available on the internet, asking questions like ‘how would your character react to [insert event]?’ etc. to get to know your character. If this isn’t your thing (it isn’t mine) then at least write down some useful information about them. Rough height and weight, hair, eye and skin colour, general temperament, and any other defining physical or mental traits.

Next came the Chronological Order

This does not have to represent the final order of the novel’s structure, nor the order in which you write the manuscript, but you need to know what happened within the timeline, and when, in order to be really clear when you’re telling the story. You can write the manuscript out of order, and you can tell the story with flashbacks or in a different order, but you need to have the underlying chronology securely in place so that your writing makes sense and so that you don’t confuse yourself or the readers in the process.

Preceding and Tangential Events

These don’t need to be in the novel itself, but it may be important to define the sequence of events that also led up to the moment where we pick up your story, and what is happening elsewhere so that you can be sure of these too. In my case, I defined the events that concerned one of the supporting characters’ lives so that I knew how and why they were at the point they are in the story. It relates directly to - and heavily influences - the events of the novel, so I needed to have this person’s history nailed down as well, even though I don't tell it all explicitly in the book (because that would be unnecessary and a bit dull).

Basic Premise, Plot Definition, and Sub-Plot Ideas (plus writing a synopsis)

Alicia Lidwina defined the story premise helpfully with the following formula:

Story Premise = Main Character + Desire + Obstacle

Pick a different colour for each of these components, and write a short paragraph to explain them in the context of the novel. Alicia Lidwina used the following:

[Main Character] “Harry, an orphan who didn’t know that he’s a wizard, [Desire] got invited into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and wanted to live his school life to its fullest, [Obstacle] but a certain Dark Lord who killed his parents is trying to rise into powers again and kill him in revenge.

Do this for your novel, and keep it really short.

Plot Definition: This is even shorter than that! It’s a single sentence!! It’s most closely tied to the desire of the character, and lies at the heart of the story. It’s most likely a distilled version of the ‘what happens in the story’ from the Project Stats page, so check that to see what you wrote there.

Sub Plot Ideas

Five bullet points (no more) for things that are happening concurrently and which are related in some way to the main story. For me, Kae and Tomas are doing their research, so that’s the main theme, but beneath that there are a few other related incidents.

Writing a Synopsis - developed out of the points in this section, and includes:

Who the main character is

What the stakes are (the story premise is your guideline)

What the main plot line is

How the MC resolves the problem in the main plot line

How the book ends.

List of Locations

Start with the main ones and add to it as you go on. Write a little bit of information about them so that you have something to refer back to. I also drew a big old map which I found very helpful and also really fun to do.

List of Scenes

It’s very important to map out every single scene that happens in the novel. Use your timeline to help with this, but remember a scene is not necessarily a chapter. You can have more than one scene within a chapter, but try not to have too many.

I used small post-it notes (sticky notes) and wrote down things like “M joins K’s clan at the fire and K learns about magic” and “K studies at Citadel, intro to Citadel, magic, and characters” as separate scenes. Once you’ve written down everything that is going to happen (this will take some time! Get a drink and some snacks ready, and go slow), you can stick them into your notebook in the order you’d like to tell the story. Some chapters may have just one scene, while others may have two or three. I didn’t have more than two in any of my chapters, and actually ended up splitting some scenes that I’d made too vague in this section into more chapters. It doesn’t have to be set in stone, but it will form a road map.

Additions and Notes:

I left a section of the Scene Outline bit of the notebook blank for things to add in as I went along. I haven’t used it yet, but I might.

Chapter Outline

I arranged the scenes into the chapters already by sticking them in order, but you could do a chapter outline separately after this. It’s up to you.

NaNoWriMo plan:

I did this back in October, and wrote down the main goal for nanoprep, which was to finish the background info. Breaking that down further, I listed - magic (how does it work exactly), geography, and politics.

After that, it was just a case of writing the 1667 words a day. *spoilers, I got distracted and didn’t do NaNo this year* . What I should have done, was break it up into chunks and write down my goals so that I had something tangible to use as a road map, and I will be doing that now for the novel as I take it up again outside of NaNo. Having check boxes and manageable goals really works for me. Find what will work for you, and if it turns out not to, adapt!

Some final pointers and tips:

Set regular goals for yourself. Whether you work by saying ‘I’ll write 1000 words a day’ or ‘I’ll write something every day’, make a structure for yourself. If you slip and miss a day, week, or month (I didn’t meet NaNo this year because I chose to work on another project instead *slaps forehead*), don’t beat yourself up. Writing is a craft and it takes a long time and a lot of discipline to master a craft.

Your first draft does not have to be good. At all. Your first draft is just words on paper. A first draft is the block of marble taken from the quarry, and subsequent edits and reworking is the process of carving the sculpture itself. The editing that is done by the publisher or the professional you employ to edit it for you later, is the final polishing. Don’t be demoralised if the block of marble seems very rough when it first lands in your studio. That’s ok!

Take regular breaks. Writing is hard work, and most people can’t concentrate on something successfully for longer than 55 min's, and if you’re doing that, you’re already doing really well. Personally, I’m at 15-20 on a good day. Write in little sprints of ten minutes or so, and then get up and stretch, look out the window, maybe leave the room, come back in with a fresh approach.

Stretch your hands, and wear wrist braces when you work. Seriously. I gave myself tendinitis on my first major project, and couldn’t use either hand properly for weeks. The ones I have are these, and they allow me to work safely for much longer.

Keep hydrated. Have a bottle of water on the desk in front of you between your arms as you type and sip it, otherwise you’ll forget. 2 litres a day is usually recommended, but know your body and drink accordingly.

Treat yourself. Whether that’s something as simple as a decadent hot chocolate after your first chapter/chunk/sprint is done, or a new notebook or a pen or that sticker set you wanted on Etsy or literally anything nice, reward yourself for the hard work you’ve put in, with tangible things you can look at or experience and say ‘I have that because I did the work’. It’ll help with your sense of achievement, especially if the project is a long one.

Join a local writer’s group for feedback. With the current Covid-19 chaos, this is probably not possible right now, but getting constructive feedback on your work from someone who hasn’t been cocooned in the project in the way you are, but who respects you as a writer and wants to help you grow, will be invaluable. It’s too easy to exist in a little isolated bubble and think you’re doing ok, when in reality you could be creating bad habits which will be difficult to break later. By these, I mean things like ‘filler words’ you don’t realise you use, or other pit-falls it’s easy to tumble into when you can’t see the wood for the trees…It’s intimidating, and it might take some courage to work up and do, but I promise it’ll help you grow. You don’t have to do what the people suggest, but it’s great to get outside opinions all the same.

Submit work to writing competitions. This will help with showing agents and publishers later down the line that you’re not only committed, but hopefully talented, and will help you to push yourself. Use the world of your novel for the setting, and get to know it by writing short stories on the competition’s theme set there.

Read. Read the writers you admire, and read them ‘actively’ - figure out exactly what it is about ‘that’ sentence that made you shiver, and use the same techniques in your own work (don’t plagiarise, obviously, but if it was alliteration that made the sentence work so well, use it yourself! Perhaps it was the metre of the line? Great, now you know a rhythm that will drive a sentence forward or slow it down etc.)

Enjoy it. If you’re not enjoying what you’re doing, it’ll show in the work. Take a step back if you start floundering, and ‘interview’ yourself about why it’s not fun any more. Refer back to the sections in the notebook that helped to clarify the plot/process, and see if you’ve wandered away from them. Make yourself answer questions like: ‘What is the main reason I don’t want to do this?’ ‘What is the character’s motivation?’ ‘Should I scrap this section?’ (don’t delete it, but cut and paste it into another ‘scraps’ document, and then start afresh from the last place you were happy with. Nothing is wasted - it all goes into building the world and getting to know the characters, even if it doesn’t get explicitly told in the finished product, so don’t be afraid to do that last bit).

Good luck!

I hope you found this helpful, and if you have any questions or things you’d like to add to this, please feel free to send me an ask here on Tumblr.

If you’re a new writer hoping to get an agent or publisher, you might also find this post on ‘talking to a published author’ helpful or interesting.

If you would like to keep up to date with my own novel’s progress, you can follow me here on Tumblr, as well as on my writing Instagram @rnpeacock

#writing #writeblr #writing process #how to write a novel #novel writing #nanowrimo #national novel writing month #writing a book #writing advice #author #authors on tumblr #how to structure a book #long post

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retronator · 4 years ago

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The last 10 years of pixel art

Retronator the blog is exactly 10 years old right now (+ an hour or so more since I can’t seem to stop editing this post)!

I want to take this opportunity to look back at the teenage years of the 21st century and reflect on how the pixel art scene has grown over the years. I only promise a personal perspective, pieced together from my faulty memory and a bit more reliable archive of 1,700 posts on this blog.

2010

Social media sites emerged already in the late 2000s (Facebook launched in 2004, Twitter in 2006, Tumblr in 2007), but it took quite some time before they caught on, especially outside the US. I joined Tumblr in July 2010 and there were relatively few pixel artists active on the site. @jinndevil and @unomoralez go the farthest of those that I followed. The first post I reblogged was a Back to the Future piece from @megapont (via some blogpost share, since Megapont duo didn't join till 2013).

What was huge on the network however was sharing retro-gaming artworks by blogs like @it8bit and @gameandgraphics. This included many pixel art pieces and it helped grow a community of fans that adored both old games and pixels.

2011

I'd put 2011 down as the start of the hi-bit era of pixel art games, championed by the release of the iconic adventure game Sword & Sworcery. Pixel purism of the initial pixel art movement was left behind by mixing pixels with high-res special effects like soft shadows and vignetting. Also, spaghetti legs started their fad period.

Artists such as @probertson, @drewpixel, and @merrigo started their days on Tumblr, gathering huge audiences over the years. Meanwhile, Retronator grew to a whooping 100 followers by the end of the year.

2012

Tumblr's fan spirits were going stronger and stronger, to which I threw my own logs on the fire by releasing Tribute, my biggest and most popular piece of fan art I created so far.

The highly anticipated FEZ got released (to critical acclaim and other more controversial consequences), further bringing pixel art in front of the mainstream gaming audience.

From newly-followed artists, @johanvinet was damn inspiring with his smooth animations. Anything GIF did immensely good on the Tumblr dashboard.

2013

This was THE year for Tumblr. So many new artists joined, it was hard to keep track. Anyone from established names like Mojang's art director @jnkboy and @konjakonjak of Noitu Love 2 fame (later Iconoclasts) to pixel art beginners such as @waneella, now one of the most well-known illustrators in the scene.

The push for modern art direction with pixel art games wasn't stopping either. Not that amazing, more traditionally styled titles (with fresh color palettes) weren't present, as Chasm's debut on Kickstarter showed, but it was Hyper Light Drifter that really stole everyone's heart (machine) on the same crowdfunding platform. Gradients and smooth dynamic shading became unapologetically part of the pixel art (gaming) vocabulary from then on.

When Papers, Please got released at the end of the year to universal appraisal, a new example was set for showing that pixel visuals don't necessarily need to be the most polished, technically-impressive pieces of artistic expression, they can also be simple—the majority of detail-filling can be offloaded to the player's imagination.

2014

Pixel purist ideology was a highly debated topic. Dan Fessler, the background artist on Chasm, did a strong push against the tighter set of constraints which said you should only use 'clean' tools such as the pencil and color fill to complete your artworks. Dan instead only cared about clean results, pioneering in the process the technique of HD Index Painting that used the depths of Photoshop layer magic to get otherwise identical results. And there were plenty of others right around the corner that wouldn't even care about keeping the results married to traditional pixel art ideals.

Still, the majority of pixel art at this point was very orthodox. I started the Artist Feature series that showcased my favorite artists and none of them did anything controversial (nor they needed to). The biggest break from the old days was mainly highly increased color counts that allowed for subtle transitions without dithering, and free color picking without creating predefined color palettes. Octavi Navarro started his highly iconic @pixelshuh scenes, and the completely unknown @8pxl started her journey towards experimentation with pink sky gradients.

Even more importantly, Pixel Dailies were born on Twitter, following Ben Porter's 365 days of doing pixel art daily.

2015

I called 2015 The Year of Pixel Dailies in the end-of-the-year article in my newly started Retronator Magazine. The Twitter community really exploded this year, bringing in many new artists to the medium, with Pixel Dailies serving as a platform to raise visibility to everyone, old and new. I found out about @weilarddrake and @orange-magik this way, Slynyrd, @iceztiqarts, @igorsandman … Other freshly-discovered people on tumblr were @kirokazepixel (one of the most prolific artists on the scene), @faxdoc (his learning journey was inspiring enough for its own article), and Talecrafter with @deathtrashgame (starting a whole new style of aliased, low-res painting without caring about individual pixels).

The discussion whether pixel art could survive past its nostalgic roots was still in the air, stirred by opinions such as A Pixel Artist Renounces Pixel Art. History is proving them wrong however, with pixel art stronger than ever in 2020. It's not a visual language people born after the 80s couldn't understand.

New-school voxel art pieces started trending with the advent of Magicavoxel, pioneering the development of pixel art's sibling in 3D. The first pixel art convention Pixel Art Park was held in Tokyo. And (important for me personally), I came up with Pixel Art Academy, an adventure game that would take my ambitions in pixel art education into the future.

2016

After 9 years in development, Owlboy released! Also Hyper Light Drifter! And Stardew Valley! And Kingdom! Pixel art games were not dying, they were on the rise.

Edge (the popular British video game magazine) published a special 200+ page issue called Art of the Pixel. It featured contemporary artists outside the gaming context, championing the aesthetic's transition from its video game roots into its own art form.

Pedro Medeiros of @studiominiboss started his famous series of GIF tutorials, subsequently encouraging many others to share their knowledge in the popular square format. Tumblr still saw new artists joining the platform, such as @motocross-arts and @apolism (two thirds of the Japanese trio The Ultimate Pixel Crew), while others like @6vcr started their first pixel explorations that year. @brunopixels, an old-schooler on the platform like me, sparked the Octobit movement, a pixel art alternative to Inktober.

2017

Further new names on Tumblr included @guttykreum (outdoorsy perspective pieces) and @scrixels (one of the most consistent daily posters with over 1,000 artworks by now).

The annual Shibuya Pixel Art Contest joined Pixel Art Park at promoting the art form in Tokyo, Japan (and worldwide really). Lospec became the new go-to resource site for pixel art, picking up the mantle from PixelJoint and Pixelation that—while still active—stagnated technologically and feature-wise.

More than anything, pixel art games were everywhere. Maybe it only seemed to me this way since I was able to go to the Game Developer's Conference as press and had the chance to interview many many people in the scene, leading to over half a year of daily content on this blog. Indie games felt stronger than ever with so many of us full-on realizing our dreams of creating our own games professionally. The one that left the biggest splash on the scenes was no doubt The Last Night, announced front and center in-between AAA titles during Microsoft's E3 conference. The brothers Soret pushed the art direction even beyond the hi-bit era moniker, fusing 3D, shaders, and modern cinematography with pixels in an iconic combination that, like Sword & Sworcery's spaghetti legs, was so atmospheric that it couldn't be resisted by future imitators.

2018

Another game that pushed technological boundaries was Pathway, finally stepping into full light in 2018 and releasing one year later. I still think it has the most advanced pixel art graphics engine to date, using voxels and other tricks under the hood to deliver a completely dynamically lit environment while retaining the pixel-perfect 3/4 view aesthetic. Pixel art games were firmly part of mainstream gaming by now, with Celeste winning many awards alongisde pixelish Return of the Obra Dinn, further cementing the presence of pixels as an ever-evolving medium capable of expressing very different art styles.

I decided to focus solely on developing Pixel Art Academy in 2018, putting this blog on relative hiatus with very sporadic updates towards the end of the year. But I never let it die. I thoroughly enjoy writing about the scene and my interest in the art form only grows with time.

2019–2020

Ironically, the closer the years are to the present, the less I remember what things stood out most. Maybe it's because my brain hasn't had the chance to automatically prune my memories yet from the overload of information that is the interwebs these days. Pixel art seems so out there, so much of my everyday life, encompassing me on Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, Reddit, DeviantArt … Even on TikTok you see kids zooming out of their freshly pixelized Minecraft photographs they call pixel art. The medium is alive, and more than ever.

As for the Retronator blog, from its zero followers exactly 10 years ago, it grew to 100 after a year and a half, 1000 the year after, 10k when it was 5 years old, and 30k just last month. Tumblr is still the platform where most of you follow my pixel art reports and I don't intend to stop anytime soon.

Here's to the next decade! Thank you all for reading. <3

#Retronator #Pixel Art

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yessoupy · 4 years ago

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the @imetyouonljpodcast episode this week gave me lots of thoughts and feelings about star wars. more like, reminded me of all my thoughts and feelings around my first fandom. thus, I decided to write my own journey into and throughout star wars fandom, and what it means to me. buckle up, this story spans decades.

my very first memory of anything star wars-related is a yoda puppet that my grandmother had. it had to be from the original run of the movies, because I was maybe 4 in my first memory of it, and i was born in '86. my sisters and I loved it, and one of our cousins was deathly scared of it so we'd chase him around the house with it.

my second memory of star wars was going to the movie store with my dad and sisters and seeing our favorite yoda on the cover of a VHS. "yoda yoda yoda! daddy, it's yoda!!! can we get it?" we were holding up the display cover for return of the jedi. dad said no, we couldn't get that one yet because we had to watch them in order. so we rented a new hope and all I remember was falling asleep while artoo and threepio were trundling across the tatooine desert sands. at five I guess I was too young.

in early 1997 the special editions of the original trilogy were aired in theaters and I was in 4th grade. dad took us to see one of them (I think empire, at some point we'd finally finished a new hope). at school that grading period I sat next to a boy named mark and he noticed I was drawing little x-wing silhouettes on my paper. "you like star wars too?" he asked. when I said yes, he declared that because of my name, he was going to call me skywalker. that's the name on the back of my high school letter jacket.

in fall of 1998 I started the 6th grade and I came home from school one day to a hardbound book my mom had checked out for me from the library. heir to the empire by timothy zahn. mom pointed out where it said on the cover it was a trilogy, and I could get the other books when I finished this one. she hadn't found the young jedi knights series for me. she'd checked out a GROWN-UP star wars book.

in spring of 1999 the phantom menace came out and my parents' friend took me to see it on opening day because neither of them were free and I HAD to go that day. later on that year she took me to a star wars exhibit at the museum of fine arts. that was also the first time I saw a monet and a renoir. the exhibit had costumes (real costumes!!!) from the original trilogy and the newest prequel. I bought a book about the myth of star wars in the museum gift shop.

I read every expanded universe book our local library had, which was a lot. I had a lot to catch up on, too, since heir to the empire had been published in 1992. you never saw me at school without a star wars book. I read while walking in the hallways, even. in 6th grade I read during lunch, since I was in varsity orchestra with 7th and 8th graders and was terribly shy. they'd tell me I should socialize at lunch, not read my books, but... I wanted to read. I had a lot to learn. I have a lot to know.

I was in 7th grade when I read vector prime, the first in the new series. my first class of the day was science, and the boy I had a crush on was in that class. we had DEAR time at the beginning of that class - drop everything and read. not a hardship for me. that day, I read the part of the book where chewbacca was killed. I looked up, astonished. heartbroken. I locked eyes with the boy I liked. he nodded at the book and I showed him the cover. he nodded sympathetically. "they killed chewie," I whispered. he said "I know."

I wrote original characters in star wars fan fiction when I was about 13. I had an internet friend named rachel who lived in brisbane. then there was dave and 'roswell' who gave me ideas for my story. I loved being able to talk about the wide world of star wars with other people. we used aol instant messenger and email. my username in those days had 'skywalker' in it. I am pretty sure we met in an aol chatroom. I didn't find much of use on the official star wars site and I have probably visited it fewer than 10 times since 1999.

I read those books all through middle and high school. they were my christmas presents and my birthday presents. I moved into our family beach house after college. it sounds really nice but I didn't have running water because it was the summer after Ike hit. I would go to the used book store on 23rd street and buy a stack of star wars books and read them while I waiting for calls to interview for a teaching position. weekends I'd go into town to stay at a friend's house and help her with wedding stuff. I'd shower there, too. that's where my new stash of star wars books started, with me catching up on the legacy of the force series I hadn't read in college and then finishing up through the fate of the jedi as those came out. I felt that I had grown up with these characters. I remembered when kyp was just an orphan han rescued, when jacen and jaina were five years old, when corran horn had no wife, no kids, and was just finding out who his family was. I had capital o opinions about what color lightsaber i would have and why (silver; bc corran), I knew the geography of the galaxy and where everyone was from and my favorite planet was dathomir because women ruled it. I knew all of these characters' histories and motivations and the difficult decisions they'd made and had to live with. I loved them.

i never ventured into the online fandom space for star wars, even after I'd found other online fandom spaces, because I didn't feel like there was anything anyone could add to it for me. I was satisfied with all I'd gotten. sure, favorite characters had been killed (after chewie, the one who stung most was Mara, luke's wife), but people die. and in such a long-running series spanning so many years and trillions of miles of space... you come to expect it.

people would ask me ALL THE TIME when the sequels were coming out and I said never. then, disney bought star wars. initially I was excited (tears of joy happy) to have sequels confirmed. my mind raced, imagining a trilogy centered on the events surrounding jacen's descent to the dark side. the original actors would be the right age for that. who could play jacen?

then, the announcement came that the canon was now 'legends' and they wouldn't be taking any of it into account when writing the sequels BUT that didn't mean we wouldn't see old canon favorites. they announced adam driver as the villain and I thought "jacen." I held onto the idea that this knowledge I had, these years of knowing these stories, would still be worth something. that I'd be able to add new information to my mental bookshelves and maps. that my universe would expand further.

the force awakens was a bitter disappointment. I was upset from the crawl, leia's title making it clear to me that she wasn't chief of state, she wasn't the mother to three children, han wasn't her husband, and all of her history I'd grown to love really was gone. what I saw was the older version of a woman I'd met when she was 18 and hadn't seen her since her early twenties. I didn't know her.

I didn't know the galaxy, either. starting with the new jedi order series, a map of the galaxy was included in the front of each book with the planets named so you knew where everything was happening. the new galaxy was bare. it was small and knowable. while the hosnian prime system was destroyed in the movie, I'd never known it, and all the planets I DID know were similarly blasted out of memory. where was dathomir and its fierce warrior witches? if their planets were gone so were their people.

as the movie trudged on, a retelling of a new hope, I kept thinking, "at least let his name be jacen." I hung my hopes on this sith character being han and leia's son and sharing that name of the boy I'd known and the man who'd grown up to turn to the dark side. at that first shout of 'BEN!' I was angry. Ben?? that was the name of LUKE'S son! that was MARA'S child! Ben??? with three letters jacen solo and ben skywalker were also dead to the galaxy.

I know, I know. I should get over it. I AM thankful for poe dameron. the x-wing books were always my favorite. poe was familiar to me the way other new characters weren't. he was part of the new republic navy. I knew what that was. he flew an x-wing. I knew what that was.l and what company manufactured them. he was from yavin IV, I knew where that was and what it looked like. finn was a stormtrooper, yes, but the empire had not stolen children to be raised as stormtroopers. they were recruited like any other position. his story wasn't real to me, it wasn't something I could easily accept. and the idea that the new republic just LET the first order rise? leia's new republic would NEVER. but leia wasn't chief of state in this universe. leia hadn't had that power.

I read a lot of articles about the force awakens and the reactions to it, and never saw myself in any of them. the star wars fanboys whom I'd never known were painted as being angry because their fan knowledge was useless and "boo-hoo poor widdle fanboys" they would be mocked, rightfully. but that's why I was angry, ultimately. everyone I knew and loved was dead. worse, they'd never existed. "what do you think will happen?" some unsuspecting coworker would ask. I'd shrug, but inside I was yelling "who the fuck knows! my favorite characters don't exist anymore. nothing I know as this person you know as SKYWALKER means anything anymore."

it only got worse from there. One day I spent four hours figuring out how far the casino planet was from the drifting ships in the last jedi and doing math to figure out how long it would REALLY take to get there, using old canon star wars physics. I couldn't suspend my disbelief during that movie. everything was wrong. (the other space physics quibble I had was from TFA when poe is using comms while in hyperspace, and dropping out on a command and not... when nav told him to?? you'd fly right through a star!! were they HOVERING in hyperspace? none of it made sense.) I knew too much and too little to enjoy it.

TROS was a narrative mess already retconning new canon and I decided that I would only keep what I liked about the new canon (poe and his family) and pretend the old canon is all there is. one day I'll write the story of poe being part of the storied rogue squadron being sent by leia's new republic to put down the fascist upstarts at the edge of the unknown regions. one day.

one more quick story -- i met my college friend’s three kids for the first time when the oldest was 6. i’d sent a toy lightsaber as a gift when he was born, because i believe every child should get their first lightsaber from a skywalker, and his father had shown him the movies when he turned 4. when i walked into the house i said hello and he said, “i have some questions about star wars.”

we sat on the couch with the tfa visual dictionary, a book he’d gotten out of the library. every question he had was an excellent question, and i couldn’t answer any of them. “why does his lightsaber look like that? and why does he have the extra blades?”

“well, kiddo, let’s see what it says here about how lightsabers are made. i used to know all about it, but they changed everything on me.”

---

what i love about star wars since disney bought it:

poe dameron, cassian andor (and all of rogue one, i got over the fact that the movie wouldn’t be about rogue squadron it was PERFECT), solo (a fucking DELIGHT), the mandalorian, and i’m sure the cassian andor live action will be amazing and i’ll love it.

#star wars #fandom thoughts #i've just spent SO MUCH of my life being a star wars fan #and being perfectly happy to describe myself as such #edit i tried a read more but it didn't work so sorrryyyyyyyy

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ndbookreviews · 4 years ago

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The Love Letters of Abelard and Lily Review

The Love Letters of Abelard and Lily by Laura Creedle

Genres: young adult, fiction, contemporary, romance

Rep: adhd (main character), autism (love interest)

Is the author part of the groups they’re writing for?

Laura Creedle is ADHD but to my knowledge isn’t autistic.

Synopsis:

When Lily Michaels-Ryan ditches her ADHD meds and lands in detention with Abelard, who has Asperger’s, she’s intrigued—Abelard seems thirty seconds behind, while she feels thirty seconds ahead. It doesn't hurt that he’s brilliant and beautiful.

When Abelard posts a quote from The Letters of Abelard and Heloise online, their mutual affinity for ancient love letters connects them. The two fall for each other. Hard. But is it enough to bridge their differences in person?

This hilarious, heartbreaking story of human connection between two neurodivergent teens creates characters that will stay with you long after you finish reading.

Would I Recommend?

No. This book made me so angry after reading it if weren’t the middle of the night I might’ve thrown my phone across the room.

It started out really strong and held a lot of promise for me, finally a book about adhd and autistic people interacting! A book with more than one neurodivergent character! And it’s a romance!

Well. It sucked.

The book starts with Lily and Abelard breaking a door together by accident, like one of those shitty sliding doors they use to divide rooms, and end up in detention together. They start talking and Lily, who obviously has a crush, awkwardly kisses him. This in itself is an annoying trope in YA in general but I also resent the implication that she impulsively kisses him because she was off her meds. Maybe this is one of those cases where personal experience varies but I’ve never forced a kiss on anyone because of my ADHD.

Through a series of shenanigans Lily and Abelard start texting each other and quickly start dating. Most of their interactions are limited to text and email which is not very romantic but honestly since they don’t seem to be in any of the same classes and he has extracurriculars this isn’t THAT much of a stretch to me.

Most of their conversations are taken from the novel The Letters of Abelard and Heloise (hence the title) as sort of a game where they try to take quotes from the novel to fit the conversation they are having. Honestly this is kind of cute if a little dorky.

Both Abelard and Lily have strained relationships with their mothers; Lily’s mother never listens to her about how her medication is making her feel and doesn’t try at all to understand ADHD or her daughter. Abelard’s mother is like, the stereotypical autism mom and treats him like a child even though he’s in high school (I’m pretty sure they are juniors but I’m not sure).

Lily also has a complicated relationship with her father who left them to pursue his passion project. In the beginning of the book she wants to go live with him and attend the experimental farming school he was working on for kids who don’t excel in typical school environments. Her mother had originally promised that she could go if she kept her grades up, but as this requirement becomes impossible for Lily (because she has literally no support at home or at school), Lily instead decides that she will flunk out of school to convince her mother to let her live with her dad.

As it turns out, her mother’s promise was a lie the whole time anyway, and in true flaky deadbeat dad style, he doesn’t even have the school anymore but he does have a new wife and son.

Abelard kind of takes a backseat to Lily’s family drama around this point in the book.

Lily’s mother tells her she wants Lily to consider undergoing an experimental surgery to cure her ADHD (you see why I hate this book now?). At first Lily is hesitant for obvious reasons, as it’s literal brain surgery and this is coming from the woman who has literally done nothing but try to change Lily all her life.

Of course, then her father comes to visit and she realizes how much he sucks actually and it’s sort of implied he also has ADHD? And so she decides she doesn’t want to end up like him and wants to go to college so she decides to undergo the experimental brain surgery. Yeah. Really.

There is some more background relationship drama but honestly after the first few chapters their relationship gets barely any development and is not really central to the story at all, despite the title.

And finally I can talk about how much I detest this book.

For one thing, from what I can find the experimental brain surgery Lily is supposed to undergo doesn’t exist (thank god). While if it did this book would be a whole different kind of problematic, it is kind of infuriating that the only solution Lily finds at the end is something that isn’t something that translates to real life. I can’t even imagine how I would have felt reading this when I was younger and struggling a lot more with school.

The idea that the only hope someone with ADHD has to live a productive life and not end up a deadbeat is something that doesn’t even exist is so incredibly harmful. The issues in Lily’s life were not caused by her ADHD, they were caused by the adults in her life refusing to accommodate her even to the bare minimum they were supposed to.

This book honestly feels like wish-fulfillment written by a struggling high schooler; it should have never seen the light of day. Everyone has times they struggle with the complications ADHD can cause, but writing your insecurities into a published novel without any sort of criticism of them is embarrassing at least and actively harmful at worst.

Abelard barely has any personality and fits literally every criticized stereotype of autistic characters ever. He’s white, stoic, interested in stem, a genius, etc. He was boring and abandoned halfway through the book so he never really gains any characterization. Also the book ends with them being in a nebulous long-distance relationship anyway so it’s not even a particularly good romance.

All-in-all, this book makes me angry to have ever even heard of it, especially since I did actually like parts of the beginning and had high hopes for it.

#ndbookreviews #the love letters of abelard and lily #adhd #autism #neurodivergent representation #not recommended #mod dawn

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homeformyheart · 4 years ago

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maybe the world could be ours - simon montjoy x mc (avsp)

author’s note: i am reposting this due to blog access issues. this story takes place in the middle of chapter 13 of a very scandalous proposal. there aren’t any real plot or story spoilers in this fic, but if you want to be extra cautious not to be exposed to any part of avsp before you read it, then i recommend you ignore this. originally planned as a multi-part fic but we’ll see.

**i also recommend you listen to the song “rewrite the stars” (even better if you watch the scene from the movie - link included below - or have seen the movie) to better get into the emotional mindset of the story.

copyright: all characters are owned by pixelberry studios. song/lyrics are from “the greatest showman” soundtrack, performed by zac efron and zendaya. i do not own any of the above. series/pairing: a very scandalous proposal - simon montjoy x mc (sophie macdonald) rating/warnings: 13+; no warnings word count: 2.1k w/lyrics and 1.8k without based on/prompt: “rewrite the stars” from the greatest showman, performed by zac efron and zendaya summary: sophie needs a break from all the stress, drama, criticism, and investigating and turns to her first love and passion, music and songwriting.

maybe the world could be ours

sophie knew she was supposed to go to the blythe suite and search around for clues but at the moment, she couldn’t bring herself to open the door. she clenched and unclenched her fists, stretching her fingers out, hoping to release some of the tension she was feeling. sophie could feel an itch she hadn’t felt since coming to London, and knew she needed to let off some steam soon. i wonder if anyone will be near the ballroom, she wondered, biting her lower lip in thought. considering simon was still talking to his grandparents in the downstairs parlor, sophie decided to take a chance and walk back towards the kitchens that connected to the ballroom.

she took a deep breath and pushed open the first set of large double doors, closing them as quietly as possible behind her. she quickly checked that all the other doors, including those for the balcony were closed before seating herself at the grand piano in the far corner of the room. it’s been too long since i’ve played… i should’ve brought my guitar with me, she thought wistfully as her fingers hovered over the ivory keys, slightly twitching of their own accord. sophie closed her eyes as her fingers finally pressed down, a melodic note echoing softly in the empty ballroom.

eyes still closed, sophie ran a few chords on the perfectly tuned piano and a small smile began to tug at her lips. her passion for writing wasn’t always solely focused on journalism or nonfiction; as much as she loved pursuing the truth and telling stories as objectively as any human being possibly could, music was her first love. when the truth seemed out of reach or when her emotions threatened to overflow, music helped her process it all and she found she was calmer and more objective on the other side. she knew exactly which song would help her channel her feelings and found the composition on her phone and began playing the opening chords.

sophie could feel the prickling of tears behind her closed eyelids, hear the voices from the engagement party and the gala, see the accusatory and judging stares that she tried so hard to ignore all come flooding back. thoughts of “you’ll never be enough for them, for him,” “you don’t belong in his world and you never will,” and “you have nothing to offer him” kept running rampant in her mind as the pre-recorded male vocals on her phone started singing.

you know i want you it’s not a secret i try to hide i know you want me so don’t keep saying our hands are tied you claim it’s not in the cards but fate is pulling you miles away and out of reach from me but you’re here in my heart so who can stop me if I decide that you’re my destiny?

simon knocked on the door to the blythe suite, running his hand through his hair. he was beyond tired, emotionally rather than physically, and wanted to see sophie. if he were being honest with himself, which he was a little afraid to be, it was more of a need to see her than want. there was something about her that made him feel safe and at peace, a feeling he almost didn’t recognize, since the last time he felt this safe was with his parents. he knocked again and pressed his ear closer to the door. “darling, are you in there?” the term of endearment rolled off his tongue effortlessly and he almost started wondering to himself if he wanted it to be true and real.

the tears started to spill, one by one as sophie continued to play the piano melody in time with her phone. this was a song she wrote with her high school boyfriend; ironically, the situation had been reversed at the time – he was from the “wrong” side of town and her parents made it clear that she didn’t belong with him. it didn’t stop them from dating and writing songs together anyway, until sophie went off to college. but now, she was of the “wrong sort” and it wouldn’t matter if she was starting to have real feelings for simon – he would become a duke and inherit the estate and their arrangement would be over. sophie would go back to new york once the book was published and never see him again.

what if we rewrite the stars? say you were made to be mine nothing could keep us apart you’d be the one i was meant to find it’s up to you, and it’s up to me no one can say what we get to be so why don’t we rewrite the stars? maybe the world could be ours tonight

where could she have gone? simon wondered, his eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. he went back downstairs toward the dining room; noting it was empty, he crossed through the room quickly toward the kitchens when he heard it. is that… music? it had been decades since he heard piano music outside of a ball or a party and there was only one grand piano that could be heard from the kitchens. as the approached the ballroom, he could make out that someone was singing and harmonizing with the beautiful melody. he quietly opened the doors just wide enough to glance down the large room at the singer playing the piano in the corner.

sophie took a breath, trying to will the tears to stop so her voice wouldn’t tremble as she prepared to join in on the second verse. she couldn’t help thinking about the gala and all the hurtful glares and remarks, even if she wasn’t a social climber, she was guilty of using simon’s position to further her career. in some way, all of her critics were right.

you think it’s easy you think i don’t want to run to you but there are mountains and there are doors that we can’t walk through i know you’re wondering why because we’re able to be just you and me within these walls but when we go outside you’re going to wake up and see that it was hopeless after all

sophie? she was angled in a way that he could barely see her profile, but he knew it was her. what he didn’t know was what a hauntingly beautiful singing voice she had. he couldn’t help but open the door a little wider so he could take her in. her eyes were closed but the passion on her face was as obvious as daylight as was whatever pain she was feeling in the moment. she is radiant, he thought warmly. he closed his eyes as well so he could listen closely to the lyrics.

when it was just the two of them, it was easy to forget the rules of the aristocracy and the judgments that came part and parcel with titles and secrets. if only they could live in the hopeful peace they felt the day they shared at the children’s center. she would do anything to see that version of simon all the time. the realization that she was falling hard for simon, and fast, was starting to feel suffocating. sophie took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut to keep her tears at bay, with the prickling pain hitting the back of her eyes over and over again.

no one can rewrite the stars how can you say you’ll be mine? everything keeps us apart and i'm not the one you were meant to find it’s not up to you it’s not up to me when everyone tells us what we can be how can we rewrite the stars? say that the world can be ours tonight

the male vocals started up again from her phone and sophie harmonized effortlessly, making simon feel as though he truly was observing a duet. he stepped further into the ballroom, making sure the door closed quietly behind him. in her mind, she was dancing and swaying while singing with her friends around a bonfire at the beach. back when things were a little simpler and she wasn’t falling in love with someone who was from a world that felt impossible to wrap her head around.

all i want is to fly with you all i want is to fall with you so just give me all of you

it feels impossible (it's not impossible) is it impossible? say that it’s possible

sophie stopped singing and stared incredulously at the blue-eyed brit standing ten feet away from her. no, please no, anyone but him, she thought desperately, taking in the sight of someone who was simultaneously the last as well as the only person she wanted to see. she wasn’t ready to share this part of her with him… outside of her family, nigel was the only one who had some knowledge of her passions (and it was limited to the fact that she could sing). muscle memory found her fingers continuing to play as she swallowed hard. the male vocals from her phone sang the last rendition of the chorus but she barely heard a word. she couldn’t tear her eyes away from simon’s ocean blue eyes that were looking at her with a softness she wasn’t expecting.

simon opened his eyes when he realized sophie had stopped singing and was staring at him, with a look of shock and anguish on her face. he felt a little guilty that he snuck into what seemed like a private moment, but he couldn’t help himself. there was so much he didn’t know about sophie, and he wanted to learn all he could. simon took a breath and tried to convey his support in his eyes, all he wanted was to hear her sing again.

how do we rewrite the stars? say you were made to be mine? nothing can keep us apart ‘cause you are the one i was meant to find it’s up to you and it’s up to me no one can say what we get to be and why don’t we rewrite the stars? changing the world to be ours

sophie blinked to make sure she wasn’t seeing things - simon was looking at her in a way that she could only describe as adoringly, and she felt a blush rising on her cheeks. she wanted to pretend simon wasn’t there so she could comfortably finish the song, humming along with the end of the chorus as her fingers continued to expertly dance across the piano keys, slowing as the melody wound down. she felt calmer, as though she had finally spent the emotional energy that had been tormenting her over the last few weeks, clouding her judgment. her heart didn’t feel as clouded and heavy and she looked up from her hands at simon as she sang the last verse, trying to convey her feelings through the lyrics.

you know i want you it’s not a secret i try to hide but i can’t have you we’re bound to break and my hands are tied

as the song ended, simon took a hesitant step toward the piano, his eyes never leaving sophie’s face. sophie felt her heart race and tore her gaze away. she could feel herself start to panic at the thought of having to explain her music or her feelings to simon. she started fiddling with her phone, scrolling through the compositions she saved for other songs as simon slowly approached the piano.

“that was beautiful, sophie. i didn’t know you played,” simon said softly.

sophie took a deep breath and brought her gaze up to his. “there’s a lot that you don’t know about me. and this is something i don’t like to share with anyone.”

simon drummed his fingers on top of the piano, looking thoughtfully. “you don’t have to explain yourself to me and i’m sorry if i intruded. your voice was so captivating, i couldn’t help myself. i hope one day you’ll trust me enough to share more with me. and i do want to learn more about you, it’s just things have been a bit…” he trailed off, trying to find the right words.

“hectic? crazy? awkward?” sophie chimed in, the corner of her lips hinting at a smile.

simon laughed. “all of the above. but hopefully soon, when this dies down, we can…” he trailed off again as he looked at her smile and hazel eyes that were still twinkling from laughter. his gaze softened as he continued, “share more with each other.”

sophie blushed and looked shyly down at the hands in her lap. “i’d like that,” she replied.

#choices fic writers creations #choices vip #a very scandalous proposal #my writing #choices fanfic #playchoices fanfiction #choices fanfics #simon montjoy #simon montjoy x mc #choices #playchoices #pb choices #not twc #reposting for new blog #my choices fics

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bookiemonsterph · 3 years ago

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Serpent & Dove

Synopsis:

Bound as one, to love, honor, or burn. Book one of a stunning fantasy duology, this tale of witchcraft and forbidden love is perfect for fans of Kendare Blake and Sara Holland.

Two years ago, Louise le Blanc fled her coven and took shelter in the city of Cesarine, forsaking all magic and living off whatever she could steal. There, witches like Lou are hunted. They are feared. And they are burned.

As a huntsman of the Church, Reid Diggory has lived his life by one principle: Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. But when Lou pulls a wicked stunt, the two are forced into an impossible situation—marriage.

Lou, unable to ignore her growing feelings, yet powerless to change what she is, must make a choice. And love makes fools of us all.

Set in a world of powerful women, dark magic, and off-the-charts romance, book one of this stunning fantasy duology will leave readers burning for more.

Title: Serpent & Dove Series: Serpent & Dove Author: Shelby Mahurin ISBN: 0062878034 (ISBN13: 9780062878038) Pages: 560 pages (Paperback) Published: August 4th 2020 by HarperTeen (first published September 3rd 2019) Characters: Reid Florin Diggory, Louise Margaux Larue Genre: Fantasy, Young Adult, Romance, Magic, Paranormal

I feel like I can’t even begin to describe just how pleasantly surprised I was by this novel. I am not a big fan of romance-heavy stories and one of my least favorite tropes of all time is hate-to-love relationships—so basically the two things the entire plot hinges on. Needless to say, I went into this very hesitantly. Very intrigued to learn how Lou and Reid end up in the position they do and to experience this story everyone has been raving about, but also keeping my expectations as low as I could. I did not for a second expect to come out of it knowing it will, without a doubt, be on my list of favorite books of the year. This is one of those books that I believe truly lives up to all the hype surrounding it.

Serpent & Dove is a dual perspective narrative following Lou le Blanc, a witch, and Reid Diggory, a Chasseur, or witch-hunter. Lou has escaped from her coven and has taken refuge in the city of Cesarine. She lives in hiding. giving up magic and surviving as a thief. In Cesarine, witches are seen as a danger to all of society—they are hunted and burned, and no woman is above suspicion.

Reid is sworn to the church and charged with the hunting and capture of witches, sworn into a role that demands he will not let a single witch live. In a surprising turn of events, Lou’s and Reid’s paths cross in a way neither of them could have ever expected. A way that leads to their marriage, that forms a seemingly impossible love, and that brings Lou under the roof of the people who could be her source of protection—or her death.

The writing in this book is absolutely superb and cements Shelby Mahurin on my list of favorite authors. Her writing is gorgeous and so easy to fall into. It is incredibly clear how meticulously she formed every aspect of this novel. Both the plot and the setting are incredibly intriguing and captivating. I loved the French influences in all aspects of the story—it makes for a very vivid and enticing atmosphere and Cesarine is the perfect backdrop for everything that takes place. She also does a wonderful job with the dual perspective narrative and creates two very individual voices for our two main characters.

Even though the romance is the main focus of the story, the fantasy aspect is very strong as well and is of almost equal importance. The fantastical elements, though more of a side plot for now, don’t really take a backseat in terms of detail or how significant they are to the overall story. Mahurin crafts an interesting and intricate magic system as strongly as she crafts the romance. It’s something I’m particularly looking forward to seeing in more detail in the next book.

The only minor issue I had plot-wise was the event that sends Lou and Reid down the path toward their marriage. Though my opinion shifted by the end of the novel, as I was able to see every event throughout in a different light, the scene still felt a little bit clumsy and heavy-handed and also completely random, maybe a little too much so. It wasn’t at all what I would have expected and was a bit of a letdown for me, so I sort of wish it had been done differently. But overall, this barely affected my enjoyment of the story as a whole.

This novel holds one of the most brilliant and beautiful casts of characters I’ve ever come across. Lou is everything. She is one of my new favorite characters of all time—I fell completely and utterly in love with her right from the very start of the novel. She is so strong despite the pain she has been through and the terror and uncertainty of her life now. Lou is sassy and sarcastic and absolutely hilarious. She’s tough and guarded much of the time, but underneath, she is so intensely loving, caring, and loyal—just an absolutely beautiful person. I connected with her so easily, and it was an absolute joy reading from her perspective and following her journey.

It took me a while to warm up to Reid, but I definitely had by the end of the novel. He’s quite set in his ways and his prejudices against women, always acting in a very traditional way toward Lou. They are living in a time when women are little more than the property of their husbands and this is something that is clearly ingrained in Reid. He is protective of her and chivalrous to a fault, but it takes a while from him to sound anywhere near loving, even after it’s clear he has feelings for her. At first, I struggled a bit reading his chapters because his attitude and initial inability to be open-minded frustrated me so much. However, there is one major reason I noticed that I think prevented me from connecting with him sooner.

Yes, he is very close-minded in many of his beliefs and his actions, but I felt that there were a few times where things sort of got lost in translation in a sense. There would be scenes from his point of view where his actions and words felt a bit confusing to me and I took them as negative. But later on, something would cause me to realize what exactly he meant by what he said or did and that it wasn’t in fact negative. I don’t think I explained that particularly well, but basically, I think there were times where his point of view could have been written more clearly. In the end, though, I did end up really liking him and it does become very obvious how much he truly cares and would do anything for Lou.

I ended up absolutely adoring the relationship between Lou and Reid. It unfolds and transforms in such a natural way. As I said before, hate-to-love is one of my least favorite tropes, but it is done so well here that I didn’t really mind it. It’s still not something I enjoy reading about and that obviously does impact my rating of the novel slightly. However, few people can get me to like a novel that features this type of relationship, and Mahurin definitely nailed it. My problem with the trope tends to stem from the tension being completely nonsensical and feeling like it’s just thrown in to create drama, and you will not find that in this book.

The tensions between Lou and Reid feel so realistic and necessary—they have every reason to be wary of each other. Understandably, that they sometimes overlook what they truly know about the other as a person in favor of ideas and prejudices that were hammered into them from a young age. They are both strong characters that are unapologetically themselves and, while it causes them to butt heads at first, it turns into a mutual respect for each other and, of course, love as well. The issues that create conflict, in the beginning, are what come to be the things that pull them together rather than drive them apart. And the sum of both of them individually—the strengths and the flaws—is what brings them each to love the other wholly.

There are also some stellar side characters in this story. Coco was, by far, my favorite—she is totally someone I’d love to be friends with. The friendship between her and Lou is so lovely and I’d gladly spend hours just reading about them. They have such a fun dynamic and they always have each other’s backs no matter what. They are the definition of found family and their story warmed my heart. Ansel, a bit like Reid, took me a while to start really liking, but he turns out to be an absolutely wonderful person and a great addition to that lovable found family.

Now for one of the most surprising things I’ve probably ever said and also one of the biggest contradictions when it comes to my typical taste in stories. As I’ve already said, I’m generally not a fan of books that heavily focus on romance. However, this book was so well written that one of my absolute favorite scenes in the entire story was the scene where Lou and Reid make love for the first time, as well as the truly heartwarming lead-up to it.

I am beyond picky about how sex scenes are written in novels. So many fall into the trap of using overly descriptive and flowery prose and a lot of just plain weird words for everything. While I think that being extremely blunt and cold about it is not a good direction to go in either, the flowery descriptions and oversharing of details tend to make these scenes feel very awkward and unrealistic.

The sex scene in this book does not fall into either of these traps and I absolutely adored it. It just feels so realistic and natural, and that is exactly what I frequently find is missing from these types of scenes. Mahurin continues to write as beautifully as ever but is, I felt, fairly minimal on the exact details of the scene. And this is exactly why it works so well.

While yes, there is still detail, she relies more often on the reader’s knowledge of what takes place during a sexual encounter, which cuts out the need for the overly flowery prose and questionable word choices. In a number of places, she writes it in a “fade to black” way without actually fading to black. Mahurin has created a perfect example of how a sex scene should be written and how it should feel to the reader. The focus is on the passion and love between Lou and Reid—on not just physical feeling, but emotional and mental as well. It is so beautiful and natural and is, by far, one of the best-executed scenes I’ve ever come across.

Suffice it to say, I really enjoyed this book. It is so beautifully written and captivating—it is very easy to fall into and get lost in. Shelby Mahurin has created a magical and emotional tale, both heartbreaking and heartwarming that, at its core, brilliantly demonstrates the power of love of all kinds. The story and especially the characters will definitely stick with me for a long time. I’ve honestly been thinking about it constantly since I finished it a few months ago. And, of course, I am absolutely dying to get my hands on the next book in this series. I love how this ended and I cannot wait to be back with these characters once again and see their story continue.

#serpent & dove #shelby mahurin

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cicaklah · 4 years ago

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2020 - a year in fic

2020 was a terrible year, of course, but in terms of yer girl cicak writing fic, it was the most bumper year since *checks official records* records began. (Records in this case being 2010 and in the AO3). Ten years on the ao3! What a milestone.

It was a weird year in fic. I started out super obsessed with The Witcher, and was sure this was the second coming of old fashioned big fandoms, and then almost as soon as I started, I promptly lost interest. I like writing it, but I wasn’t really interested in reading it, or rewatching the series. Therefore I just sort of...wandered away, and periodically came back when some really stupid idea grabbed me and wouldn’t let go.

These were: look what you made me do - the most popular fic I’ve written in a decade of concentrated fic writing. In which Jaskier is basically Taylor Swift c. 2014, and everyone in fantasy Poland wants to know who inspires all those bangers he keeps churning out, and Geralt has a lot of feelings about turnips and his horse and badly timed goats and also whether Jaskier really has been singing about him this whole time. Contains goatus interruptus and my second favourite OC, Titch Westmoreland, tax collector and enthusiastic shipper.

I wrote a sequel to that called Jas Queen, where Geralt goes to see Jaskier perform his new song cycle, and then gets hella laid in the dressing room by Jaskier in drag as Queen Calanthe.

Then @nim-lock drew said hella laying and as thanks I wrote vestis virus whatever the latin is wrong, which is Jaskier, rich aesthete, taking advantage of someone stealing Geralt’s clothes to play dressup, which was an excuse to write SEXUAL TENSION, which way too many months later, I consummated in an indentation in the shape of you.

I continue to not apologise to tswift for anything.

And then out of the blue I decided I wanted to write something stupid and so wrote how an egg makes another egg, which is the best thing I’ve written all year, you should all read it, I am a genius, all praise Meluhha and may she bless us with thick shells and double yolks in 2021.

Anyway in the spring I got SUPER INTO Star Trek Picard, and by that I mean SUPER INTO Agnes Jurati and into how she got away with murder and shagged Santiago Cabrera, who was extra attractive this year, (and I consolidated that by watching The Musketeers, for which I wrote no fic, but I did think about writing fic for it a LOT). I wrote a small thing called ‘a knife in the country’ expecting it to get jossed within a week, and when it didn’t I went kinda...mad? and wrote a series of interlocking stories that I will collect into a series when I can think of a title. They are: red to port, green to starboard, white to guide the way, not a star in the sky that’s got our name, and nothing to fear from the siren’s call. Of these, nothing to fear from the siren’s call, my Rios manifesto that also doubles as a reflection on 10 years of my own PTSD journey, is my second favourite thing I wrote this year.

The other thing I did this year was a WIP Amnesty, which I called the Coronavirus Decameron because at heart I am pretentious as balls. I really liked doing that, and will continue it for as long as the coronavirus continues to provide us with Unprecedented Times.

I finished off a Star Trek The Force Awakens cosmic horror story called if there is love at the end of everything that no one read because no one goes here anymore.

I completed a DS9 erotic farce called ‘I was born like this don’t even gotta try’ which is the closest I’ll probably ever come to writing ABO (where Garak goes into heat, and asks Julian to help, so Julian volunteers his encyclopedic knowledge of holosuite wank programmes, and finally his own arse, to the cause), and then a pet gen project about Bashir’s genetic augmentation from the POV of his mother called all the sinners, saints, that led to people in the comments accusing each other of wanting autistic people to be exterminated, because this is still 2020 after all.

I wrote part 4 of lesbian han solo, it takes a village (but there’s only you and me) a series I will eventually finish at this rate sometime in 2040, where Han and Leia’s daughter is born, and their relationship begins to fail.

I finished off one of my many, many Star Trek Discovery WIPs from 1st season when the show didn’t make me want to pull my hair out, and rediscovered my deep ashburn feels in someday I’ll love what I can’t find in you, thanks to the eternal cheerleading of @drstrangewillseeyounow.

I also finished a Modern Raffles story that I started writing in summer 2019 when England won the world cup, that if you know your raffles and your cricket is a work of genius, but mostly went over people’s heads. It is called by the barest of margins and just, this is my third favourite thing I’ve written this year.

Finally for the decameron, I wrote a hitman story called in every life a little rain about 47 being poisoned and hallucinating/fantasising/remembering Diana wearing fancy shoes and them maybe having a secret relationship, that I am really proud of.

Outside of the above, I also wrote a tenet fic called never odd or even, where I attempt to fix the film somewhat, and somewhat succeeded. I’m happy with it, even if I thought it would do better in terms of engagement.

All in all I published 68,140 words of fic, most of which was written in 2020. I also wrote about 30,000 words of thesis and 20,000 words of reports for my new job. Overall, I would have written more, but I got a proper job that requires me to do things and use my brain in October, so then lost the ability to sit in front of my computer on an evening.

Thank you to everyone who read my stories and commented in 2020, especially all the hannibal fans who discovered my old works, and anyone who reads even steak don’t cry or the rose of terok nor especially.

May Meluhha bless us all in 2021.

#fic review 2020 #fic reflections #my fic #fic writing problems #fic recs #cicak #2020 review

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p-and-p-admin · 4 years ago

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Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group. (sharing here Admin approved)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Ciule and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you for sitting down with us for a chat.

SS/HG readers might be familiar with your stories “Awkward” and “Headmaster’s Wife”.

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? Well, I sort of took one of my real names, swirled the letters around in the air with my imaginary wand, and I ended up with this. Can’t begin to imagine where I got the idea from... ;-) Later on, I realized that Ciule is actually a name in Romania. I had no idea, but there are people out there carrying this name for real. I guess I’m #sorrynotsorry? Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most? To be quite frank: No one, really. This is more about the characters I like, than truly identifying with them. I can relate to parts of some of them, but not the whole package. Primarily, I write about Hermione, Voldemort and Severus, and the one common thread between those three is the search for knowledge. That’s a trait I can identify with, but I’m neither an evil bastard, a grumpy protector nor a fretting, intelligent activist. I am, however, a swot. If you had asked who I’d want to be, the answer is clear. I want to be Albus Dumbledore. Though I can’t agree with the things he did, I feel absolutely certain that he’s the one who has the most fun during the books. I want to have that twinkling fun in face of absolute chaos. Do you have a favourite genre to read (not in fic, just in general)? Fantasy! Definitely fantasy. While growing up, I read ‘everything’ in every genre, and in my twenties, I decided I’d spend my time reading what I loved the most. So, fantasy it is. Do you have a favourite "classic" novel? You landed me in an existential crisis right there. I mean, there’s so many to choose from! ‘Wuthering Heights’, I think. It hurts so good. Or maybe ‘Rebecca’, at least, I loved that when I was younger. Or the fairly obscure ‘Lorna Doone.’ When I was a kid, I wanted to be a film director, shooting Lorna Doone into an epic film. Oh well, there might be a theme in this selection of books which reflects in my writing… At what age did you start writing? The creative process has gone on since forever. I’ve told myself thousands of stories in my head, but rarely written anything down. At the age of ten, I had a co-writing project with one of my friends. We created this secret room in her basement, and painstakingly wrote a ‘novel’. It was fun, though the writing ended as it became too cold down in the basement during winter. How did you get into writing fanfiction? In 2009, I became completely obsessed with a TV-show in the last episode. I was watching the entire series, casually enjoying the murder mystery, and in the last episode, the villain said: “I can do the math,” and I was literally gone. That obsession sparked writing my first fanfic stories. Those stories are still on FFnet, but they aren’t any good. *shrugs* What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works? Compromise. The world isn’t a perfect place, and will never be. You can, however, make it more to your liking. It may not be perfect, but if you play the cards you are dealt, you might improve something. In Robert Jordan’s “the Wheel of Time”-series, one of the characters goes through a test in a parallel universe of sorts, and she thinks: “The world was not what she wanted, not anywhere near it.” I loved that: trying your best to make things as you want them to be in the face of dangers and difficulties. And then there’s time travel! I love messing with time, and there are so many great Time-travelling fics. Plus, I have to say I have a certain love for the villains... What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter? Currently, I’m not writing for any other fandoms. I read Star Wars, GoT, POTO and LOTR, and in the past I read Smallville. Though it’s more of a type of ship for me, because I only read Reylo, SanSan, Erik/ Christine, Lex/Lana and ….drum roll… the extremely small and quite oddball ship of Eowyn/ Grìma Wormtongue. If you’ve never tried the last one, go search for the fantastic stories by auri_mynonys. If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon? One change: duh, that’s easy, isn’t it? Severus lives. Or, maybe Dumbledore acting more rational, not keeping so many secrets. Maybe telling McGonagall that Severus is on the Order’s side… (Interviewer is laughing - ”NOT so easy”) I do write Voldemort wins AUs, but I wouldn’t want canon Voldemort to win. I prefer him to be more sane than in canon. My absolute favourite piece of fanon has to be the Black library. I thought it was canon, but it’s not. This is a thing that really, really should exist in canon! Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet? I’m very much inspired by music, and sometimes I listen as I write, but not always. Some fics are heavily inspired by music, such as ‘Absence’ and the last epilogue to ‘The Manipulation of Time and Matter’. What are your favourite fanfictions of all time? Definitely ‘Two Steps from Hell,’ by the amazing Ssserpensssotia, but that’s a Volmione. This was such a wild ride, I felt like I was on the edge of my seat, holding my breath the entire time. Those twists and turns were so unpredictable and … Well, I’m in awe. The SS/HG fandom is so massive, there’s a plethora of great stories out there. The unfinished ‘Self-Slain Gods on Strange Altars’ is a wonderful story by scumblackentropy, and I love Slytherpoufs stories, especially the wip ‘Ghosts’, but also ‘Angels to Fly’. And then there’s the one that got away - it means, I can’t find it. In this story, Severus watches the thestrals, befriending one of them, I think, but they’re unpredictable and maybe even dangerous. He’s heartbroken, and knows how it all will go down, having bitterly accepted his role. It made me cry. And then there’s the works by Aurette, and lena1987, Subversa, Kittenshift… Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process? I need (strike that: want) to draft the entire story before I post, to have some idea on how it goes. That makes it easier to write, but if it’s a long story, I’m happy as long as I know the general direction. This year, I finished a story that was on an unintended hiatus for two years, and I think part of my problem on getting back into writing it up was a too vague idea for the ending. What is your writing genre of choice? Uh. I don’t know? Basically, you could argue that I’m a porn writer, or at least it’s fuelled by sexual tension and angst. So, romance or drama, bordering on erotica might be correct. To be frank, I haven’t really thought about categories after I started posting on AO3. Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why? Hard to say. I might go with “the Manipulation of Time and Matter,” because I think it’s the best plot I’ve created. Besides, I managed to write Hermione having a relationship with both Severus and Voldemort in the same fic. My favourite “clean” SSHG would be the short story ‘Grimmauld’. Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it? In Grimmauld, the house became a character. That was unexpected, and not something I had planned from the beginning. So the lesson would be “don’t start posting until you know what’s going to happen.” Or else, this story might have turned out very much different. I had to throw in a little made-up lore on how you set blood wards on a house too to make it sentient. That proved to be a quite chilling piece of magic. How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write? I love old houses. Exploring abandoned houses, going inside to see what remains of furniture, tapestries and everything is so exciting. (It can also be dangerous, but that’s another matter). Such houses makes me feel .. nostalgic, plus I get those nice little shivers down your spine that is a little like a horror story. So, I wanted to use Grimmauld as a setting to explore that in a fic, to really dig into the aching loneliness of a lost house. The story came very quickly to me, so I guess that helped me. What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing? Big question there. Hmm, I think … it’s hard to say. I’m a reader, really, and I couldn’t easily pick apart any influences. Though I have to say that one of the things I enjoyed when reading ‘Two Steps From Hell’ was the attention to magic. I think it’s important to include spells, rituals and the use of magic in my fics, because that’s what sets it apart from a Muggle AU, for example. That’s an important part of the world-building. Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction? My significant other knows. I didn’t tell him, but he found out for himself, probably by spying on me. When he told me, I almost couldn’t stop laughing, because he… erm, he said he had thought about reenacting a scene in my PWP ‘Twenty Points to Gryffindor’, where Severus shouts the title as he… well… you get the gist. If he had done that, I’d have had a heart attack. I would literally be dead. Instead, I laughed non stop for an hour. How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? Haha, so true. You spend all those hours in front of your laptop - and if I wasn't motivated by doing it for myself, I can’t even see how I’d force myself through all those hours. It’s fun, though. I do this because I love it. How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media? Very important. I'm on the publishing sites (visible interaction is why I prefer AO3 instead of FFnet) and on Facebook, mainly. I love feedback (as all authors do), and when people form theories or make comments, I get an insight into my own writing. I know how it’s going to pan out, but the audience doesn’t, and how they perceive things might be different from how I think it is. At times, it influences how I go forward, mostly because I need to add things, to explain what’s going on. What is the best advice you've received about writing? Don’t post until you know the ending, and remember: the devil on your left shoulder will be at war with the angel on the right side. Listen to the angel telling you to wait a little longer, and not to the devil chanting: ‘Post, post, post!’ In the end, of course, you’ll give in to the devil, regretting it until you’re done. What do you do when you hit writer's block? Read. Read a lot. And read some more. Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing? Certainly. I’m a foodie. For example, everything that Voldemort eats is stuff I love. His food habits are primarily mine, and I love cooking. Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser? It’s a short piece, maybe three or four chapters, with the title ‘Transference’. The point of departure from canon is during their time in the tent at DH. Hermione wakes up in a bed, in a room she doesn’t recognize, having no idea where she is, but she spots a large, moving picture on the drawer: Feeling panic rising, she stared hard at the moving and smiling pictures, and her heart leapt into her throat, pulse hammering as she recognized herself in the largest picture. A slightly older Hermione, in a white wedding dress, kissing and laughing at someone who simply had to be a much younger Severus Snape. It had to be him: Long black hair, hooked nose, sallow skin - but then he looked so young, carefree and happy - expressions she had never seen on her dour Professor's face. Beside the picture, there were numerous cards, greetings and well-wishings for their wedding - the date an impossible 21 August 1982, and amongst the cards, the largest one stood out, the black ink showing an elegant handwriting: “Dear Hermione and Severus! Best wishes for your wedding, Lord Voldemort.” Any words of encouragement to other writers? Read and write, in that order. Don’t worry about trolls, because when you contribute something that you created, it makes you so much more than people spending their time just raining on anyone’s parade. You brought something new to the world, they’re just reacting to things. If someone accuses you of a self-insert, go ahead and lecture them on the intentional fallacy. I promise, you won’t regret looking it up. ;-) And please, mind the normal physical limits when you’re writing smut. Unless you give the male a stamina potion or put him under the Imperius, it’s unlikely that his refractory period allows him to come five times in one hour. Realistic smut is so much more sexy, lol. Thanks again for speaking with us Ciule.

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