#to make allies so that people come to me with their issues! sorry I can't look upbeat and chipper

[notbecauseofvictories]

so on one hand, the past 2-3 weeks have been murder---I didn't go to book club, I didn't go to any of the history lectures I signed up for; I went to election judge training and then went home; had exactly one conversation with my best friend. (Which, she called me, so.) Every other moment of every day has been spent working. I'm not....miserable, but if it doesn't let up soon, I am going to be.

on the other hand, when my boss comments on how I seem down, I seem tired, I'm not wearing fun earrings like I usually do---it does take everything in me to relax and not react with defensiveness, because yes, I am exhausted, and showing her this is the best way to communicate that I need her to hire more support. But oh my god I hate it so, so much.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

(i kept forgetting to make this post for a while and only remembered when i was reading @antispopausandstuff 's recent post; sorry for the tag!)

i have to say this: catra having a mental breakdown basically every single season was pathetic.

usually villains have a third-act breakdown where they realize that they're losing to the heroes or they're losing control over their own allies, and they spiral into anger and desperation.

azula's spiralling in s3 of atla is a clear example of this, as she goes from the level-headed, cunning prodigy to a child who has lost everyone in her life and is desperately trying to use fear to keep people around. it's tragic because yes, she's a horrible person who enjoys torturing people and seeing them in pain, but she's also a 13 year old who was groomed into the perfect soldier by her father.

not all third-act breakdowns are like this though. sometimes instead of feeling bad for the villain, we feel satisfied seeing their downfall, because they weren't a sympathetic character in the slightest and they deserved to have that realization right before getting their ass whooped.

with catra, i get neither of these. i guess i felt a little bad for her the first time and i felt satisfied the second time, but then it just got boring.

there was no need for her to have a meltdown in every single season, only for the writers to use it as an excuse to make catra do even worse shit and hurt more people.

not to mention, her mental state wasn't consistent enough during these breakdowns. let me explain. let's take the s3 one, for instance.

catra is clearly rattled by the knowledge that shadow weaver picked adora over her (which.. wow who would have thought. but whatever). she is dissociating as she walks back to scorpia, there are tears in her eyes, she's devastated.

but then, as soon as catra reaches the horde with adora as her prisoner, she seems perfectly fine. she's calm and smirking proudly as she throws a bound adora to the floor.

and then when entrapta tries to oppose catra's attempts at opening the portal, oh no! catra is not mentally well again and she electrocutes entrapta. and she threatens to do the same to scorpia.

and then she goes right back to being calm and tells hordak that entrapta betrayed him (i'm sorry i don't care how good at lying someone is, i doubt they can deliver such a convincing lie when they are in a poor mental state) and mocks him for trusting entrapta.

and then throughout the portal sequence, catra is oddly calm. not just during the false reality, when she was pretending that everything was normal, but even after that when she starts sadistically torturing adora.

this doesn't seem like a character who finally snapped and is doing horrible things in a desperate attempt to regain control. it reads as a character who always wanted to do horrible things and finally got the chance to do it.

i can't view catra's breakdown in s3 as sympathetic because her actions seemed so intentional. the writers didn't even try to make it look like catra was going through some serious mental health issues and was only making such a dangerous choice because of that.

coming back to my original point, repeating a trope (especially a one-time trope like this) quickly gets stale. and it's even funnier when you think about the fact that catra basically had a dedicated mental breakdown every season and still didn't learn her lesson.

you stop feeling sorry for her and start rolling your eyes, wondering what atrocities she's going to commit this time. it's just the same thing over and over again, and it's funny that the writers used this as a way to keep reminding viewers that catra is a poor traumatized baby who definitely didn't make the choices that led to all this.

it's just bad writing. sure, in real life, people may have multiple breakdowns if they going through some shit. i can certainly attest. but it just doesn't work from a story point of view, especially when the writers refuse to hold catra accountable for your actions. mental health issues or not, you are responsible for your actions and you should work on changing your unhealthy coping mechanisms.

[beanghostprincess]

Transfem Buggy anon here to drop a silly valentines idea-

1) don't worry too much about speeding through asks, sweetheart, you're doing fine. Take your time and do your thing at your own pace. Anyone has an issue with it? I'll fight em 😤

2) IDEA TIME

So imagine Buggy getting absolutely SMOTHERED in valentines days gifts - from friends, underlings, allies, secret admirers (she thinks they're all fake or lies), and her partners of the year.

She and Alvida do a Self Care Self Love event (maybe include Uta and Perona bc smth about them being so supportive of Buggy coming out as trans and just so easily slotting her in to girls night makes me soft).

Ritchie wears a special Valentine's Day bow, and he gives extra lion licks to his favorite people. He doesn't quite get the whole concept of HOLIDAYS beyond that it makes his humans so happy and silly and so he too is happy and silly. Lion loves.

Mohji and Cabaji, every year, make Buggy a gift for Valentine's. She gives them little gifts too, but theirs aren't conventional - they were there from the beginning, and so they've seen the best and worst of each other. They're besties your honor.

After Impel Down, Buggy wakes up on Valentine's to a MOUNTAIN of cards, candies, stuffed animals, flowers, and balloons. Maybe half of them are signed. It's a long ass affair to organize them.

When she starts dating Crocodile and Mihawk, they hadn't seen the Karai Bari Variant of Valentine's Day. Needless to say, when they wake up and walk with Buggy to get breakfast, they are both BLINDSIDED and BAMBOOZLED by this veritable TON of gifts. Buggy just sighs. "Guys. Really?"

"WE LOVE YOU, CAPTAIN BUGGY!!!"

"I can't eat all this. Okay, line up, I'm passing out candies at random. Consider this a treat before breakfast."

"CAPTAIN BUGGY IS SO GENEROUS AND KIND!!!"

"I- ya know what, sure, whatever. I haven't had coffee yet. I don't feel like arguing."

Crocodile and Mihawk though are surprised when she offers them a soft smile and... two boxes? "Open them when you want to, boys, no rush."

She gets a delivery later on in the day, a crate with a blue rose painted on the top. She huffs. When asked, she shrugs it off. "Shanks is still being a damned sap."

He sends her presents as often as he can - with a relatively ser address for Karai Bari, she is more easily accessible, which makes him go a little overboard. In the crate are her favorite candies (ghost pepper flaked dark chocolates), soft stuffed animals, new clothes, a dress, flowers and silly trinkets. ((And maybe a little treasure map he made just for her)).

Buggy would give thoughtful gifts - smth for Croc's bananawani nursery or specialty cleaner for his jewelry, new seeds for Mihawk's garden he mentioned wanting once in passing or new cording to rebrand Yoru's hilt, etc.

She also ties her hair up on holidays, puts on an apron, and joins the cooks in the kitchens. Cooking is smth she's good at, if a tad embarrassed by, but baking if her favorite thing to do. It's like chemistry and showmanship mixed together, two of her most favorite things. Getting the chance to indulge in it is smth she rarely lets herself have, but she makes exceptions for certain days.

And if Mihawk and Croc, knowing this by that point, pooled together to get her her own supplies to indulge more freely in their shared space, away from prying or attentive eyes, well...

Valentines Day isn't exactly a cliche on their little handmade home, but the sentiment, the intention, the love is there.

((And if Buggy just so happens to send a few batches of Shanks' favorite cookies to him a week after the day, well, he'll treasure them!!!

Until he eats himself sick, that is.))

1) Thank you <333 That's really sweet 😭🧡

AND THIS IS ALL AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A bit late to Valentine's Day (sorry, really akjjddnjk) but I absolutely adore it. Buggy loves Valentine's Day and the thought of everybody getting her gifts and also enjoying the holiday on her island is so cute,,, Everything is perfect and tbh, after coming out as a woman is even better because she's finally able to do it as herself. I think she wanted to do it really bad when she was a kid.

Her crew is so silly,, And having a whole day with Perona and Alvida makes her feel so loved,, Crying and sobbing. Also, Crocodile and Mihawk aren't used to celebrating these things, so now that they're with her they're surprised by how much they enjoy it. Not the holiday itself because in general it's extremely annoying and they do not want to be there with all this drama-- But they do like seeing her happy and giving her gifts <333 Why have mafioso-looking boyfriends if they aren't going to shower you with gifts, you know? And also, they're losers for her, which makes it better.

[hestzhyen]

Kagurabachi, Family, and Abuse

(This is kind of heavy, so please take care if you choose to read.)

I can't stress enough how much I love Kagurabachi for it's nuanced takes on complicated issues. Legacy, abuse, trauma, and the people involved in these cycles- very sensitive stuff that should be handled with great care. So this manga taking the time to examine issues with delicacy is surprising for an action series where the MC and his foes lose limbs on the regular. The Rakuzaichi arc won me over heart and soul because of how it tackled abusive families in particular.

I don't think it's controversial to say that leaving your abusers behind to focus on yourself is a key part of healing. But when family is involved, that component tends to get scrambled or lost entirely. Somehow if it's a relative or a sibling or a parent, the situation is changed. The victim should try harder to work things out. The onus is on them to find out what's wrong and fix it somehow; become less vulnerable. Even the most saintly, well-meaning ally can fall into the trap of telling the victim that blood-related abusers somehow deserve extra grace. They're abusers but they're also family, after all. Families love each other and good intentions should mean a lot.

We see it all the time in media too. A parent lashes out in anger. A sibling destroys precious, irreplaceable mementos. A cousin bullies and their parents do nothing. Blood relations hit and hurt and do awful things. But family is family at the end of the day, so they come together to heal with tears and apologies. Everyone is suffering in some way but it'll be okay if they stick together and work through the pain. Pan out, roll credits.

Obviously the Sazanami clan was far more skewed towards villainy than what we see in the real world. But the extra context given to Kyoura right before his death humanized all of them. They were abusers who were trapped in the cycle by misguided devotion to familial duty. And now that the cycle is broken, the family has their chance to heal. Braidbro was told to help the little kids and honor Tenri's sacrifice by letting them avoid his fate, so hopefully they manage it. No more slavish devotion to the auction above familial bonds. They can come together with tears and apologies and work towards a better future.

Yet Hakuri won't be there to see it.

In another series, he might have stayed to help after working with Chihiro proved he was strong enough to stand on his own. Hakuri could have rebuilt the family with a new purpose since he's the first since the progenitor to naturally inherit the subspace sorcery. He'd have the clout to do it, being the only one able to ensure business returns to normal. He even landed the killing blow on Soya to prove his resolve and signal a shift in the family's status quo. It would have been even more vindication for him to go from family embarrassment to patriarch, and who doesn't love it when the underdog comes out on top? He could be the one to fix things! But taking over the family would have truly been a bad end for him- proof that he was still trapped.

Because what could possibly make up for what Hakuri endured all that time? No amount of crying and saying sorry and promising to do better heals an abuse victim. Braidbro and Sazasis could make sure he's waited on hand and foot for the rest of his life but the damage was done long ago. The emotional pain lingers far longer than the broken bones and torn skin. Even if Soya was the only one going so far as to use peelers and pliers on him, Hakuri was abused by all of them. They all agreed -implicitly or tacitly- to ostracize him and give him the worst jobs. We saw him getting ganged up on to be kicked and gut-punched. Kyoura wasn't the only one to deliberately look away. Hakuri's torture was a family affair.

So to see him walk free of it all makes my heart soar. Because Hokazono fucking gets it. The victim shouldn't be on the hook to lead the reform effort once the situation is exposed. They shouldn't even have to participate in group therapy. In order to truly heal, they need to leave. And Hakuri choosing to do so was framed as the best possible thing he could have done in the moment, thank god. No "but they're still family" guilt tripping from the author here. Hell, Hokazono even went out of his way to make sure Shiba gave Hakuri a clear out. Fuck rehabilitating abusive families thanks to the victim's hard work. Fuck glorifying victims becoming irreproachable ubermensches to stop "inviting" abuse. And a flying fuck off to giving the family the benefit of the doubt by waiting around to witness the improvement process. Hakuri is finally free to move on without looking back, as is every victim's right.

Kagurabachi went above and beyond my expectations for having this be the culmination of his arc. I was a bit worried that a story so strongly focused on family bonds would fall into the same pitfalls as many before it. I've been burned by authors mishandling familial abuse with "family above all" messaging way too many times. But we saw that dumbass mindset blatantly and thoroughly deconstructed into fine particulate matter at the end of the Rakuzaichi arc. And it's really sold me on Hokazono's ideals and storytelling in a way that the Sojo arc didn't.

This manga is more than just flashy sword fights and considering how best to honor and interpret family legacies now. Sometimes, families and their legacies are in fact too toxic to be allowed to continue. And thank god the abused kid doesn't have to be the one to help the family fix their shit after it all comes crashing down. I hope future arcs continue to showcase this level of sensitivity and care for the different types of pain the characters are going through.

[thesensteawitch]

Full Moon In Aries Guidance (29th September, 2023)🌝🔥

Pick A Pile Reading

Take A Deep Breath And Choose!

(Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Hello, Senstea Souls!

I hope you're all doing great. This is a full moon reading that marks the beginning of Autumn Season. Pick a pile and read the message. It's a collective reading.

Take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Pile 1

Cards- 7 of cups, Temperance, 10 of pentacles, The World

Hello, my beautiful pile 1. This full moon is asking you to understand that what did not work out for you worked for you. You are somebody who has a lot of desires and wishes. You dream big. But because you have so many things that you want to achieve you feel frustrated. From your dream list, you may be able to act upon a few of them. And what frustrates you is the fact that you have to balance between things as you're handling so much at one time. And you also feel a lot of resentment towards yourself as there are wishes on the list that you aren't able to act upon yet. See my dear pile 1 the message is that you can do anything but not EVERYTHING! You have to let go of the controlling attitude. You can't control everything that happens in your life. The reason why your wish did not come true is because God/Source was protecting you. So this full moon, work on letting go of past achievements and failures. Do one thing at a time. Focus! Communicating with your family or friends may be of help. I see that your family is always there for you. It can be blood family or your soul family. Your life is demanding you to start a new chapter but you are a bit hesitant. A thought of somebody or something important to you is stopping you from starting this new journey. Some of you may need to move out of town or start your own business. You need to heal yourself to heal the situation. This is not the time to put bandaids on the bullet holes. Do not start this journey wounded. Give yourself time to heal. Go for a vacation or do something exciting at your home. Journal about what you truly feel.

I am sending letters to people who need healing and guidance. Drop a ‘🩷’ or ‘Letter’ in the comments and I will drop a message in your Tumblr inbox. The letter will only cost $2.

Pile 2

Cards- 9 of swords, 10 of swords, The Magician, 9 of wands

Hello, my dear pile 2. First of all, tell me how are you doing? For a minute I went silent looking at your cards. I am sorry but it pissed me off. There are serious self-worth issues here! And I mean it! It's SERIOUS! What on earth are you thinking? You're doubting the vision you have for yourself, someone you are capable of becoming in the future. I see that you also struggle with money. My heart is with you pile 2. You can be the magician of your life. But you're disappointed because people are not even appreciating all the magic you have created till now. But who needs others to validate our magic? You need to have faith in your capabilities first. Believe me when I say this, your mind is your greatest enemy right now. It's fooling you and you're letting it! Your soul, heart, and mind must be your allies, not enemies. This full moon is asking you to release the hurt that you and someone else have inflicted upon you. My advice is to surrender to the divine and have faith in his plans. Keep doing the right thing, keep performing your magic. Don't put so much pressure on your shoulders. Listen to your higher self. You already are who you think you should be. I don't know why but I am also getting the message that you need to start focusing on making yourself financially strong. This full moon you need to make a long-term plan for your career. And allow yourself to genuinely rest. Take care of your health. I mean it! God bless you.

I am sending letters to people who need healing and guidance. Drop a ‘🩷’ or ‘Letter’ in the comments and I will drop a message in your Tumblr inbox. The letter will only cost $2.

Pile 3

Cards- 4 of cups, Queen of pentacles, 8 of pentacles, 7 of swords

Hello, my beautiful pile 3. So this full moon in Aries you're asked to get up from your work table and give a thought to the things that you have been ignoring. I see polarities here. Where everything seems good on the outside but is not. On the other hand, everything is good in your surroundings but your heart can't accept it. So to avoid confronting and seeing the truth of the situation you throw yourself into work. No doubt that you work hard. But now is not the time to keep working blindly as if there's nothing more to this world. Do not start a new project trying to excuse yourself. Your mind is tricking on you. This full moon ask yourself what is that you need to release. Your problem is that you do not even know what's there to release. You aren't allowing yourself to feel the hurt someone else has caused you. You can't see that your mind is tricking you. It's a coping mechanism. Your mind thinks that you won't be able to handle the truth so it is trying to put you in a delusion. It's time that you realize the truth and let it go. Forgive someone and move on. Use this time to reflect upon your life patterns and see what you're missing. There's a blessing in your cards. You are blessed. I also feel that you are very disciplined. I really admire that quality. But your subconscious needs your attention now.

I am sending letters to people who need healing and guidance. Drop a ‘🩷’ or ‘Letter’ in the comments and I will drop a message in your Tumblr inbox. The letter will only cost $2.

I hope you found this reading helpful.🐦

You can subscribe to my newsletter for free and receive helpful tips for Full Moon in Aries.

[trans-androgyne]

I'm so sick of this. Trans men could be fucking like "lets have a discussion about unsavory attitudes or actions within queer communities when it comes to gender" and a bunch of fucking people INCLUDING OTHER TRANS MASCS are like "wooooooow cant believe youre attacking TRANS WOMEN like that this is obviously bigotry. after all theyve been through?? I am going to assume this mild criticism is about trans women (which you never said it was at all even once) and THEN tell you that because transphobia exists any disagreement with a trans woman means you want her to be HARASSED. I can't believe you think harassment is okay. also even though trans women are poor victims (I am speaking on behalf of all trans women) who you arent allowed say anything in opposition to (I think trans women are defenseless and attack people based on the idea that any criticism is trying to ruin their lives) (don't you know its impossible for a trans woman to ever be treated with respect or have a good life ever and in fact they are all doomed to being treated horribly?) (this is me HELPING trans women by the way I'm an ALLY) and trans men are the problem and somehow even though we're all in the same community Poor Trans Women are so oppressed they would be RUINED by disagreements (I am speaking on behalf of every trans woman and I know not a single one wants to have an interesting discussion about oppression or gender) this is me being an ally btw I could never be transmisogynistic by talking like this. also somehow transphobes check what type of trans you are, if youre a trans woman they hate you and if youre a trans man they say "yay you're a man" and treat you wonderfully because if youre a man youre always treated well no matter what other types of oppression you might face I think of this as being progressive.

Sorry for the long rant(?) I have a lot of thoughts. In summary: some people see themselves as such trans woman defenders that they a hundred percent loop around to infantilising them by implying its too hurtful to have a conversation. I've seen this exact type of behaviour as a trans man when it comes to misgendering. someone slips up and instead of being like "oops I mean he" they go some equivalent of "oh my gosh im sooooo sorry i cant believe I did that to you you probably feel miserable have I ruined your day oh my goodness dont cry ill make it up to you I know you have now become an emotional wreck from the horrible thing I did to you im sorry im sorry im sorry I just need to make sure everybody can hear how HURT you are by one misgendering" this is an example of how "being an ally" loops around to calling you fragile and a literal baby. They make it worse even though theyre "on your side" by implying you cant handle anything and they have to "fix it" because you just would collapse immediately at something maybe affecting you.

On the one hand, I understand where a lot of this is coming from. Trans women do get harassment campaigns started against them for small issues. It’s best not to resolve real problems with specific transfems in a public forum. So many have described the feeling of transmisogynistic hypervisibility as a panopticon and that very much applies in these discussions.

But trans women also aren’t made of glass. And they aren’t immune from making mistakes and causing harm. Making posts that contradict some trans women’s understandings of transmasc oppression is not transmisogyny. Pointing out that something they said or did was hurtful or transphobic is not transmisogyny. People act like this is how you treat trans women with respect and it’s very much not. This is not being “normal” about trans women. They are human beings who yes need some extra care and protection but are also capable of talking things out instead of collapsing into dust at the first sign of criticism. I know not all trans women like being treated this way in the slightest. I hope we’ll be able to find ways in the community to still uplift their voices and mitigate harm done to them without putting them on a high pedestal or shielding them from all criticism and intracommunity discussion that does not go their way.

[ghostinthegallery]

Yup, finally time to talk about Trazyn...

I put it off because hey, everyone else deserves some love and attention...but Trazyn deserves more, sorry he is just built different.

It will probably shock no one that Trazyn is my favorite 40k character. He's what got me into Warhammer in the first place. I imagine I'm not the only one who went through the "oh, funny meme steal guy lol" to "guess I'll read Infinite and the Divine" to "can't be invited to parties because I refuse to think about anything that's not Necrons or my new plastic crack addiction" pipeline.

But why is this weird sexy space kleptomaniac so compelling? The answer might surprise you!

(it won't for a while but bear with me there's a twist coming)

Why do we all like Trazyn? First of all, he's easy to grasp. Indiana Jones meets the Collector in 40k. One sentence and you know what he's about. That's invaluable for pitching a character. And then you watch him and he's clever, he's hyper-competent, he's funny. In the grimdark future, this guy makes you laugh! He screws with everyone. And yeah, he's easy to meme, but that's just part of his charm.

He fits into nearly any 40k story too. Space Marines? Aeldar? Chaos? Tau? Trazyn wants an artifact and he's messing with *insert main characters here* to get it. Or maybe *insert main characters here* need something and he's the only one who has it. Doesn't really matter what or why, the second Trazyn shows up he can play off anyone. As an uneasy ally, an opponent in a negotiation, or in a fight. He has an incredible dry wit that makes him super entertaining (especially in a setting where characters can be a bit...serious).

And Trazyn ultimately has pretty sympathetic motives. He wants to preserve, to collect, and tell stories through his museum. Museums are cool! Culture is neat! Sure he's a bit...unethical, but he's far from the worst dude in 40k so he's very easy to root for, even if he's a side character or antagonist.

So yeah, witty, devious, immortal museum curator. Perfect character, right?

Well...here's that twist.

Trazyn is actually (in my opinion) really, really hard to write for as a protagonist of his own story.

See most commercial fiction is structured around a character who wants something, but something else gets in their way. Frodo wants to take the ring to Mordor but all of middle earth plus some evil wizards, orcs, giant spiders, etc. are in the way. The issue with Trazyn (on paper) is that he doesn't truly want anything. Sure there are specific artifacts and people he wants for his collection, but that's surface level. Hunting down random cool space stuff is not a change from his day to day, so focusing a whole story around that might be fun for a while, but it wouldn't stick with you. Because any deep, emotional desires he has are fulfilled. He has power, he has purpose, he has his own planet that shapes itself to his will.

Trazyn is used to being in control. Of Solemnace, of his expeditions, of his negotiations. If plan A goes south he has twelve other options, and a few back up plans, and probably an ork warband attached to his belt if he needs it. Oh, and he's immortal. And can't be hurt. Which again, is hella fun, but how do you have suspense or stakes with all of that? How do you write an interesting story for the guy that has everything?

Enter Orikan.

Orikan is one of the only things that introduces chaos into Trazyn's existence. Orikan can break into Trazyn's house, break his stuff, and get away with it. When Orikan is around, the things Trazyn loves are in danger. Orikan shattered relics from their people's history and Trazyn failed to save them. He tried to catch one piece and it shattered because his hand was metal. The thing that usually makes him untouchable contributed to his loss. That is heartbreaking to read. Sure he can fight elves and dinosaurs and steal the most incredible things, but Trazyn can be made vulnerable in the right circumstances.

The thing he wants throughout Infinite and the Divine is not the McGuffin Mysterios. It's revenge. But because Orikan is his equal and opposite, he can't get it easily. There's an obstacle. Which means we have a story on our hands.

There's another scene that I find really striking from that book: Trazyn and his human assistant on Serenade. This old man who Trazyn kinda...mind controlled into service, but also provided him and his family with the best education, medical care, career opportunities etc. Trazyn didn't have to do that, but he is the type of greedy where if something is "his" he takes care of it. That includes (for better or worse) that human man and his family. Blips on the radar to an immortal being, but those are Trazyn's blips so they get the best a blip can ask for (aside from free will but shhhhhh.)

But that doesn't mean Trazyn can prevent the inevitable. His assistant gets old without him even noticing. The man has reached the end of his life, and that is something Trazyn can't control. And he's emotional about it. Not like devastated (it's just a human after all, basically his hamster just died) but it throws him for a loop.

Oh hey, speaking of how Trazyn takes care of things that he considers his...

Trazyn never really gets close to killing Orikan. He says he wants to. He acts like it. That's the story we set up. Trazyn shoots him in the face. But does he try to permanently kill Orikan? Does he ever act with any true cruelty?

He does once. When Orikan was weak and vulnerable, Trazyn crushed Orikan's skull with his foot, and that's so out of character it's our clearest indication as a reader that something is wrong. That's when we realize the song has Trazyn ensnared because normally he would not do that. He wouldn't treat his greatest enemy and rival that way which is... certainly interesting.

And then of course there's that scene at the end. When Orikan is burned and afraid and unable to defend himself, Trazyn doesn't even try to hurt him. He is gentle, careful, he makes sure Orikan isn't permanently damaged. After everything they've done to each other over 10,000 years (and that's just the events of the book, their rivalry is older), it doesn't even occur to Trazyn to harm Orikan in that moment.

That to me is the real secret that makes Trazyn more than a meme character. That greed that makes him care for things, cultures, places, and people. Those moments where he isn't in control. The combination of the two that means something is at stake. He has a deep love for the universe despite this being such a nihilistic setting. That love drives him to do ridiculous things, but that's the core (I think) of why we love watching him cavort around the galaxy so much.

[strugglingatart]

Jr Year ep 3

This is me live blogging bc I need to get thoughts out also would love fandom friends full spoilers bellow the cut just so no one accidentally reads anything they don’t want to this will be long

EX GIRLFRIEND I will legit fight Brennan why did we at least not see it....

btw me saying I will fight brennan is mostly a joke like I get why we made all these changes, I don't actually love everything but I do trust all these people enough that it will serve the story and play out great

Immediately clocking the fairy festival (Frosty whatever it is I'm so sorry Brenan says it and then it's immediately out of my head) connection we love

love love looove the aguefort projections, so many Arthur statues!

Riz's manic energy is such a vibe, not exactly healthy but a vibe I get

the astral realm where all the dead gods go

lowkey love that Gorgug and Fabian are solid like the boys lowkey play them so dumb but that's just teenage boys for ya (also thought maybe Fabian would be in less trouble but still some so this makes my anxiety relax a bit, only issues we already knew off)

Actually for the wizards I'm really chill is an A+ and also probably true sentence

ah the answer I needed about Fig's multiclass

Ah the society of shadows again, and a college for sad alone adventureres lol

their record is bad but it should be worse when talking about the one person sports team is SO FUNNY to me

the friends bit is so good, everythig about it, all the laughing, Emily failing intentionally, Ally letting it work even tho it shouldn't, perfection

Lydia still making half orc meals we love and stan

Adaine-Riz friendship is SO IMPORTANT to me

the sibbling energy our girls have are amazing

the Thisstlesprings will literally just go into sex ed and Gorgug's reaction is gold everytime

"Can I run from you?" LMAO

ok I'm getting the silly energy they were talking about now

listennnn we are gonna get into Gorgug isn't a good barbarian according to his teacher again aren't we? it's why it wasn't pre approved? I will fight this teacher he literally saved the world twice as mostly a barbarian let him be a chill barbarian

WHY DID GILLEAR NOT TALK TO FIG

yes Fabian make Fig go to class

yay new lunch lad

also I legit thought the time quangle was just an explain continuity errors away and also get rid of the agueforts who break encounters thing but it might be related to the plot now that it's come back up in the recap and in the intercom in story

Fig has Gillear's luck confirmed ok

Zac's physical comedy continues to be SO GOOD

the sillies really are here I'm laughing so much

straight away this lady is insane

four different dogs is such a good burn, love agro Kristen

do not trust this people at all

ohhh skullcleaver, Katya's aunt? cousin? I don't recall the seven mentioning that

listen Fabian's house being party house is lowkey dangerous

Kristen being a disaster gay even when trying to help friends flirt is a mood and a half

ooohh I like mazey

don't trust the attomaton tbh

also yes I just thought of this now so it's late but going back to Kipperlilly whatever her name is, like homegirl can't make big institutional changes youre class president not on staff

rules always being followed to the letter is tbh scary there has to be room for interpretation, perfect order doesn't exist

YES PLOT love how it's already too much bc mood and "yeah I cannot think about that right now" and "embodyment of writers block" oh this season is gonna continue to hit me in the face

Wanda Childa is wild

she was a turncoat, more importantly she was a mirror

why is Ally's hey girlie voice so terrifying

fully forgot porter was the barbarian teacher and I will fight porter LET GORGUG MULTICLASS...

aaaa I'm going into a worry is here, legit thought it was gonna be in battle but I love Gorgug's energy here bc I've been there where you do things kinda nontraditional way and have teachers make the achivements sound so much worse just bc i didn't get there through the path they wanted me to take

love terpsichore immediately

they get 30's fairly often now we love level 10

fabian is such an arsty kid at heart and always was like Lou wanted to make a jock maybe but never did

listen trashbag sandwich is worrying but it was indeed fine

I get that Riz is type A but he is the non annoying kind

homegirl who desn't like technicalities and ppl gettign away with stuff got out in one huh? also I have no idea what that means the teacher found her? what?

Jawbone I love you and also I worry about how much I relate to Riz

I so hate this girl I'm with Adaine, she's the worst we've had

oh no the Applebee's

ok so I have a huge like essay somewhere about both why I don't like how Kristen is dealing with Cassandra but also how I 10000% understand her as someone who abandoned religion but was then forced to still be in similar roles and religious enviornments after that somewher in my head buut also who cares but just know it exists

omg Bucky giving her a hug I cry

Kristen is not doing well but that was actually a pretty good parental confrontation tbh I'm proud

oh damn poor Adaine I'm sosorry my dear you don't deserve this

Brennan really went you know what? we are not having your wildness work for you this time Emily, your shit is catching up to you

yay fig went to class finally

we got SO many designs with all the teachers and such and they are all so great

oh nooo Kristeeen, each step I take the step behind me vanishes is such a raw ass line like this poor teenager is legit so lost like someone help her please (also that was a relatable little monologue.. am I ok?)

love the cleric teacher a lot

ok but i love cassandra alright twilight, mystery and doubt are such a cool ass domain you can sell it and embrace it Kristen I belive in youuuu

but also again: a good ass teacher

awn I love that they're back in the forest

again Siobhan promised no taers and I have cried twice now maybe three times in three eps??? rude af

the bad kids should've helped with the whole Cassandra stuff I just realised I'm so sorry

oh shit not Kalina again.... I feel like i got stabbed in the heart

oh I am sooo pumped for next ep!!!!!

[bidisasterevankinard]

“people would kill me for it but: Eddie, in one episode with Shannon, showed more misogyny than Tommy to Hen ever”

….are you blind now that you’ve turned your back on a ship that you liked? Loved?

Okay fine, you don’t have to like Buddie anymore but it feels like you’re stretching for reasons to shit on Eddie now just because you no longer support Buddie.

How the FUCK was he more misogynistic than Tommy? Tommy was a piece of shit in that original episode. I even remember you being against him before you got twisted…

Eddie’s issue with Shannon is her abandoning him. He was NOT misogynistic to her. I’m not even sure where you get that from??

I think you need to think a bit more about the definition of that word before you go around throwing accusations around.

And this is coming from someone who doesn’t hate on either ship. Just hates people making stupid claims they can’t back up.

Before last part I wasn't gonna answer, but last part happen. Why Eddie's relationship always gone? Because he needs "mother for my child". The mother who he never let to work when she begged him to come home and help with Chris. He chose to stay in Afghanistan. Then she begged him to go to LA to her DYING mother, but no, Eddie needs his family and time. Then he puts her through his bed first before letting her go back to their life, but not see their son first and further most. His dick was in Shannon for two months before he decideds maybe "I should ask Chris about Shannon". Why Shannon juts let him back when he left her TWICE? oh yeah sorry, he was a hero who was on war. HE CHOSE IT. He chose to run from his wife "to provide for family". Shannon wanted to provide too, but Eddie literally said "Chris needs you home"

And then he decided they need to live together bc he thought she's pregnant, but before it she again told him "I want to work to provide for Chris too." He said you don't have to, I can do it. Why she can't work? Carla can take care of Chris when she works too

And we saw it with Ana and Marisol. What women in Eddie's life do with him? have sex, babysit Chris when Eddie is on the job or even hangs out with friends, cook. Now, question: don't you think it's pretty low role for women in life?

Eddie literally sees women as housekeepers as his father (Ramon always left Helen alone with kids for work. He literally left Helen pregnant and with two little kids).

So question, does Eddie misogynistic?

Also i said I don't like buddie, but I never said I don't like Eddie. And I WAS talking about his flaws, just less bc I was scared bc Eddie is the most lovable here and all his flaws is normal for his fans or took as proof for gay! Eddie. Especially his misogyny. It's Eddie's gans loves to find teh reason to hate Tommy, but the moment you say he's better than Eddie in smt, boom 💥 you're wrong and anons like you are here (also so brave of you to come anon)

Now, Hen begins. Tommy was silent with Hen. Just silent. (With Chim he made one racist comment at the start, but then was silent.) And then in the end of the Hen begins, Tommy congratulate her with good job, and it implied he and Sal was people who was against Gerrard too and made complains against him

So, Eddie has deep misogyny roots and always shows it with partners, Tommy was just bad ally for Hen. Who's bigger misogynist now?

🫳🎤

[ex-textura]

Didn’t some devs say his explosion ending is his good ending? And that he was the annoying guy? Did they try to write a character we’d laugh at and find pathetic and hate? Because if they did, they failed.

So I went back through my screenshots to get quotes from that article but I've only got the one, and I'm so sorry but I'm gonna talk about it:

Obviously, I very vocally took issue with this article when it came out and to be clear I still do. But I want to be more clear, I think, on the actual issue I have with it.

I'm not annoyed that they call Gale annoying. I know he is. Hell, he knows he is, to some degree. That's part of his character and part of I think why so many of us relate to him. I'm annoying as fuck, despite all the years I spent trying to make myself smaller and more palatable so that people would like me.

The issue I have is the way they talk about it. I don't have a screenshot of the part where they said that his death is a good ending and I'm not totally sure that's even the correct wording (I don't think it is) so I'm not gonna touch on that but the bit at the end of this particular quote, that he "gives himself for the world" just rubs me the wrong way.

Killing yourself to save the world isn't redemption for being annoying. It's such an extreme as to be laughable.

And I'm not saying it's the wrong ending at all. There are no wrong endings this is a role playing game. Play the role you want.

But there's a feeling of....I dunno. I don't think glorification is the right word but it's the best I can come up with... In the way they talk about it and the way the game treats it.

Yes. Gale can absolutely kill himself to save the world. That's very much an option and it's a dramatic way to end the story of a frankly very dramatic man.

But he doesn't HAVE to. This isn't the only choice presented to him especially by the end of the game! You've been given so much power and so many allies and so much time to get to know him and his story and the root of it all. He's had time to grow, to see the truth of his relationship with Mystra and if you're kind to him, to see his worth beyond just what his magic can provide.

At the end of it all to look at him and say "okay anyway, time to pay your dues" and let him explode is definitely a big ending. But it's not a "good" ending. It's tragic and, in my opinion, feels like a waste of what might have been a lot of growth for him.

And then that, added to all the different ways everyone can shit on him like no other companion throughout the game, is what makes the whole thing so sour for me.

They made a character that talks a lot, that is arrogant and can't read the room and kind of weird. But they also made him earnest and kind and passionate. The way his self-importance wars with his self-esteem is so interesting and relatable.

And then they said fuck this guy and I guess we didn't take it the way they meant for us to 🤷‍♂️

[zemantler]

Hey Mac! I just saw the new video you made about episode 4 and 5 of Our Flag Means Death and wanted to share with you a perspective I thought might be interesting to you.

(p.s sorry its so long and wordy! I tried to condense my thoughts as much as possible😅)

I read an article recently by Screen Rant (https://screenrant.com/our-flag-means-death-season-3-release-date-cast-story-everything-we-know/) which says that our boy David Jenkins himself mentioned that if the show gets renewed for a third season then season 3 would be the final. He apparently also said that he has the entirety of the show beginning to end already mapped out, and this information kind of changed everything for me in terms of how I view the show and the way it is being created.

Shows that go for 5 to 10 seasons (roughly) are shows MADE for streaming, that being said their formula is usually to follow a storyline that can be started and ended every season and it's the characters that keep us coming back. OFMD isn't like that, I think the key is to think of it more like a long movie. and what we know about movies, or just classic storytelling in general (literally one of the first things you learn in elementary or middle school) is that a story has a beginning, a middle and an end. If you think about the seasons of the show like this-season 1 beginning, season 2 middle, and season 3 end-it kinda makes all the pacing issues and the ‘Ed problem’ make sense (or just seem more intentional-again David says he has this all planned out) and you can follow the trajectory of the show actually pretty clearly from there. Take for instance season 1, you said it yourself it's like season 1 (baring the last two episodes) is like setting up the story (love story) with rose coloured glasses on. That being said the show also lines up with a rough outline of what your classic hero's journey looks like-call to adventure (the opening of Stede and the crew in ep01s01 and the flashbacks of Stede and Mary's unhappy marriage), meeting with the mentor (Ed-who is also the love interest-and the whole 'teach me how to pirate i'll teach you how to etiquette' deal). You can think of the last two episodes of season 1 as like the crossing of the threshold (aka glasses come off) cause not only does Stede realize he wants to be a pirate indefinitely and leave Barbados for good, but also because season 2 opens with the next part of the hero's journey which is meeting new enemies and allies (Zheng Yi Sao, Archie, Richard Banes,etc.(Does Izzy count as a new ally?)). 

Again, it's all very classic in format, but usually just not how tv shows made for streaming choose to operate-cause most of the time network execs are literally just trying to make the most money by keeping a concept going probably longer than they should-but I digress. Also again, if you factor in the part where season 3 would be the last season it's not unusual at all.That being said I think the reason they decided to have the crews trauma and ESPECIALLY Eds issues only start being addressed in the 5th episode is because they are hoping to have this be one of the plot points that drifts its way into season three and subsequently have resolution occur at that time as well, instead of forcing hollow resolution in the final three episodes of s02 and then have nothing to work with in season 3-this is another point that Screen Rant made in their article.

Using the three acts/hero's journey formula, we can start making really rough guesses as to how season three might pan out and given the circumstances of season 2, it kind of feels more right to me. Not to mention our dude Taika is the guy who wrote the initial screenplay of Moana which focused more on family than the screenplay which actually got made into the Disney film, so I can't imagine him and David of all people just glossing over all of the emotional reconciling parts of the core relationships. Anyways I thought this was interesting to think about and might also help in easing the nerves over the last 3 episodes of this season, again there is always the possibility this might not be true, or work out this way, but I thought it clicked too perfectly in my own head just to not talk about it. Like seriously the hunch is hunching right now!

Anyways Mac, loved the video and hope you have a great night! 😊

Hi!! First of all, thank you, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Hope you'll have a good day too. Wow thats a lot of text, sorry if I misunderstood something.

While I understand what you mean, series dont really work like that. There are lots of "series like long movies" -plot based, not too stretched out, character dynamic focused, few series long, etc. For example, Good Omens, Sherlock, Hannibal (i think, never seen it) and more...

Movies start plotline in the beginning and have to resolve them in the end. BUT that doesnt mean there cant be a cliffhanger at the end, to help a sequel continue the story. And thats how (good) movie franchises are born- multiple movies are made to elaborate on the first original story, because there simply wasnt enough time to tell it in its entirety in one movie.

Series like ofmd go hannibal etc.. Were made to be series, because they couldnt possibly fit the entire story in a movie format. But when you make the decision to make a series, you also have to comply to the series format. So if its not a limited series, it will probably have multiple seasons, overall theme and will start a plot in first season that will to some extent, continue until the last one, while at the same time having multiple sub plots that will end with each season. They have to end at the end of the season, otherwise the overall season experience wont be satisfying. You watched all that and for what? Just to wait another year to actually see anything happen?

Now i can finally explain what I meant by all this :D OFMD in its entirety cant be like a movie, for its a series. They are formatted differently. If we wanted to compare it to a film, then the only way to do so is to make each season a new movie in a franchise. Each season has to have a satisfying experience on its own while ending in a way that leaves stuff that the next season can work with.

You cant make a bad season and then try to excuse it with "Its only a filler between act one and three" because while that would be excusable in movie, it's not really in series. because then youre just left with a second season that feels unfinished and rushed.

But even story wise, it just doesnt make sense to start redemption arc of the protagonist in act 2, get him together with the love interest and then actually redeem him in act 3. Its weird idk

I'm not saying that this season is bad when it hasnt dropped in its entirety yet tho. Dont quote me on that. I love ofmd and i really am enjoying this season. It just has more flaws than the first one.

Sorry that i rambled a bit and also sorry if it doesnt make sense. Im in school rn its hard to write something sensible while trying to pay attention to geometry or whatever we're doing

[wolfpants]

What are aspects about Drarry fics that are important to you? Like something you personally "need" to happen or an aspect of Harry and Draco personality that you consider vital, or something how Ron and Hermione react to the Drarry romance etc etc

Hi anon,

God, that's a good question. And a big one! But I'll try to keep it as brief/top level as I can, otherwise I might be here all day.

And a disclaimer: these are simply my preferences. I'm not saying these things are vital for Drarry to work, I'm saying they're what I, personally, prefer to read (and write).

Anyway, prepare for a fresh serving of word salad.

Gay Draco. This is a big one for me. I just can't see it any other way, so I find it really difficult to buy any other intepretation, so as a personal preference it does make reading less enjoyable for me when his (to me) blatant homosexuality isn't embraced/explored/acknowledged what have you. However! I do really love a good lavender marriage Drastoria. I explored that in Precious Metal.

As an extension of that, I find it hard to buy a Draco who is totally promiscuous and hedonistic post-war. It's not a trope I ignore though! I've seen it done really well (and haven't totally dodged writing it myself either!), but I do so love a repressed and/or sexually/romantically inexperienced Draco (and a hardworking Draco whose career post war is important to him) - it's a trope that makes me want to read something right away! I love it so much. Having said that, I really enjoy Draco having been in previous relationships with other men/boys before Drarry, too. Especially if it's like - a secret school relationship/hookup situation with another classmate who isn't Harry. Something for Harry to get in his head about and/or rile him up. Yum.

I love a slutty Harry. I think most people have probably guessed this.

Harry with a short temper. Draco with a petty mean streak.

A Draco who is real and will point out what's wrong with Harry but will often forget to address his own issues.

A Harry who is earnest and won't put up with Draco's cute I-will-be-passive-aggressive-with-you-until-you-do-what-I'm-thinking-because-I-expect-you-to-be-psychic attitude for too long.

A Draco who pushes Harry away. A Harry who pulls Draco closer.

A physically and magically competent Draco. A nerdy Draco.

Terrible communication, fics where one or both of them is gone on the other and they don't know how to express it, a really good and believable enemies to friends/allies that eventually develops into lovers, a fuckbuddies who fall in love story.

Harry and Draco who recognise each other's faults. Perhaps before they realise their own.

I love hurt/comfort and I'm a sucker for Harry doing the hurting and Draco doing the comforting... via tough love.

I can't read (or write) something that is purely nihilistic/whump. I need something underneath that to balance it out. Tenderness, vulnerability, and sensuality are absolutely key in my writing. It's important I include all three. So, by extension, I love when a fic I'm reading also incorporates these.

Humour! I need humour. But not humour for humour's sake: humour for a human touch, for levity, for getting out of a bad situation/conversation - such is life (and such is being British lmao). Love when a fic gets this balance right (@wrapped-up is a Wolfstar writer who nails this every time).

Oh god I haven't gotten to Ron and Hermione yet. Sorry! Maybe I can come back to that with a part 2 if anyone is interested in some more word salad.

Cheers!

W x

[outeremissary]

2, 8, 10 and 11 for Balthazar?

sorry this took so long I accidentally deleted half of it while writing it yesterday. pain. Anyway thank you for the ask, I have put my Enormous Essay under the cut. And I am so sorry if on some platforms the formatting of the images loads fucked up I've given up on that. Tumblr hates me and wants my post to take up the entire dash and then some

[prompt list]

2) Who's your OCs best friend? How did they become best friends?

I feel like I don't do enough with this in a lot of my doodle posting just because I actively dislike using the black pencil because it smudges like a bitch, but that would be Jaethal! They have similar outlooks on life in many ways- the cold pragmatism, self serving hedonism, and general disdain with the place they find themselves in makes them get along fairly well. Balthazar has a lot of respect for her and values her counsel; she sees him as a reasonably sensible person in most matters who is, at the very least, very much on her wavelength.

I guess the becoming is the more interesting question considering the fact that neither is a person who's particularly eager to invite others in. Part of it is just long exposure. Spending a lot of time wandering around and becoming familiar with other people builds a sense of rapport and gives a lot of time to get a sense of who's agreeable to you and who isn't. But that's accelerated in my eyes by Jaethal being able to pretty effectively see through Balthazar's facades. His benevolence and his gradiosity are convincing performances, but only performances- and under that the ambition and the calculation are clear. He's something interesting to watch and feel out. And he's responsive to attempts to tease out the motive, and quick to try to build a bridge when discovered by someone who so proudly displays the spirit he hides. He shows her the respect she believes she is due and shows it genuinely; she recognizes his real character without exposing it in return. I think they build trust in one another fairly early as kindred spirits and allies in pursuing their separate goals.

8) What hobbies does your OC have? What do they do to unwind?

He enjoys learning new things relevant to his interests, games of strategy and social maneuvering, and keeping up with fashion trends and collecting bits and pieces of his wardrobe. On the social side he often enjoys engaging in a bit of frivolous debate and while he wouldn't consider it a hobby per se does enjoy going out dancing.

When it comes to completely relaxing, he prefers to be alone. Taking a long, hot bath is a favorite activity, and the privacy his noble status can afford him is a welcome novelty compared to the public bathhouses of his youth. He likes to take time to read, and just generally to be away from others and not in a state of managing his performance. And of course there are the often less solitary time honored traditions of drinking or sex.

While he wouldn't see it as worth mentioning, he's someone who also engages in people watching when able to be inconspicuous- there's an idle entertainment to seeing others go about their little lives. And in Absalom he enjoyed watching kites.

10) How does your OC handle their mental health? Do they take care of themselves?

Balthazar handles mental health by simply never having issues ever! *checks notes* Wait, it looks like that's wrong. By repressing fucking everything except a sense of smoldering retributive anger and never showing vulnerability to anyone. He's a very "catharsis in vengeance" kind of person; while he's not exactly devout, the self-centered justice has contributed to him being an irregular of Calistria's faith. He's good at sorting his problems into "things I can get even with" and "things I can't do anything about" and pouring a lot of energy into plotting against the first while burying the second. He's good at multi year campaigns to ruin someone who made him feel humiliated, but he refuses to acknowledge his mother even exists. There's nothing to be done about that abandonment or what it did to his father. So it doesn't exist! It's easier to pretend that's just a blank space in his life.

When confronted with something that's impossible to avoid and impossible to affect he tends to break down. Despair seeps in. He's not someone who's able to be vulnerable in front of others, so he tries to act as if nothing is wrong before retreating as far from public life as possible. And he's prone to lashing out at people who try to help him, as well as just fruitlessly lashing at the problem in general. Deceit and avoidance being first lines of defense often make problems worse, but he's not eager to change for that.

As for taking care of himself... he feels that he does. He indulges in what feels good whenever he can, he props himself up to feel powerful, he takes petty vengeance on others and pays forward the ill done to him. It feels good. Like being a problem solver, like not being denied. And what he does to soothe himself makes him feel like he's in control of his life.

Anyway I'm not sure I've ever created a character with Good Well Adjusted coping mechanisms

11) What was your inspiration for your OC?

Uhhhhhhhhh. So like, flashback to 2016 where for Reasons I was creating an evil god demon-y fallen angel-y kind of character who was the proto-Balthazar. My original thesis with this Funny Joke Character was a character made of stereotypical fandom bait traits for the kinds of fandoms I'd been in (mostly anime), which meant a mysterious, androgynous, ambiguously queer pretty boy who behaved like he knew more than anyone else in the room and was a master manipulator. I've never actually been able to pin down a specific point of inspiration for Balthazar, but he's very much based on an archetype that you get a feel for watching a bunch of anime (or did in the mid 2010s watching a bunch of anime). I think if you wanted examples that were probably especially influential, a sampling of that list would look something like what's below, the true TLDR section.

Breaking with the archetype a little immediately with a lady inspiration just because I absolutely know she was in my mind- Takano Miyo from Higurashi no Naku Koro ni. And when I say "she was in my mind" I mean "originally Balthazar looked like a flat chested Takano when first conceived." Little of that remains, but Higurashi was like. A primordial weeb influence for me. I was first exposed to the series at age 13 and Takano was one of the first examples I saw of a character who seemed very kind and ordinary but was actually quite callous and even cruel. She had this sleepy, nonthreatening softness to her that stuck in my mind. Imagine that, the visual language of a character being used to deceive. That's crazy <- 13 year old Emi

The second, which I never ever thought about consciously but feels in retrospect like he had to have been lurking somewhere at the back of my brain as one of the examples of the archetype I was most familiar with: Vincent Nightray from the manga Pandora Hearts. I was obsessed with Pandora Hearts in my early teens and I fucking hated this dude, which is a surefire way to solidify "will be into this type later" in your developing personality. Playfully malicious, totally nonthreatening compared to all the magical warriors around him, always a step ahead of the other clever planners, and someone who's constantly pushing boundaries of comfort around physical contact to the point of making your skin crawl.

Annnnnd Joshua from the DS game The World Ends With You. I don't remember if he was a conscious inspiration but I feel like at some point he must have been. Joshua is a fucking cunt. He's a condescending, teasing know it all who refuses to make genuine connections with other people and serves as a marker for the main character's growth as a person by showing all his shittiest early game traits taken further. He's also, spoilers for a nearly twenty year old game, an angel. Angel-like being. In the small scope of things, God. He treats everything around him like a game because that's what it is from his perspective. I was very fond of this treacherous God-being who stood in the middle of his own machinations for a better view. You can also see he has light white-ish hair- I feel like this prettyboy manipulator type is pretty strongly associated with blonde or white hair lmao.

I feel like Joshua's physical mannerisms were also Influential here

[louisisalarrie]

i've been reading your posts about industry topics and the current h & b*n situation (and the az*offs) and i just can't comprehend how someone can sell their voice and values and morals for money? to continue their career? it just seems so money-hungry to me yk? and weak-minded, i don't want to sound rude because i don't know everything about the whole situation but yeah. i get having a dream, wanting to fulfil that dream and once one has it its hard to let go but how can one just turn off one's consciousness, ignore it all? for money, fame, a dream? my biggest dream is to be a model, i got castings and offers but i'd rather not achieve that dream if that means supporting a system that glorifies anorexia, is fatphobic etcetc, i was 17 back then. it was so easy to choose my morals. idk i'm rambling sorry for that, i just had this in my head. also when he does say political stuff etcetc why is he also supporting people like w*nstok az*offs etc? you cant be an ally and concurrently support antis yk... i mean yk ok i'll. stop rambling sorry for my english, not my first language :/

Don’t apologise for rambling, and certainly not your English!!! It’s fantastic, and thank you for sending this in!!

I think the modelling industry has been exposed for its problematic issues to the wider public a lot earlier on than the music industry has. Sure, both industries are very messy, but it’s a lot easier to point out “oh the modelling industry is fatphobic/encourages eating disorders” than “the music industry is corrupt and artists are forced to be closeted and overworked to the point of taking adrenaline shots before shows and barely ever actually seeing any of their own money the whole time” for the general public, because a lot of them just don’t have the awareness of how bad the music industry truly is, unless they’ve done research, been in this fandom (or one similar), or have come across info on social media about it, which is happening more and more these days. The technology to now communicate to massive groups of people and expose people/industries/artists and everything is an excellent tool to encourage change. The modelling industry has certainly seen a shift, and the music industry is slowly moving a bit as well. It’s just… an absolute mess though.

At the end of the day, they were kids who auditioned for a singing show because their mums encouraged them to, and they had no idea what was gonna happen if they did “make it”. Shooting to fame from the X Factor where you already get a huge amount of PR from being on TV, as opposed to working your way up slowly and seeing how it works, and understanding what you want, and choosing labels/managers etc. to work with who you know for a fact aren’t gonna do what Coward did, is just vastly different. I didn’t understand so much about the industry until I was already in it. And those kids were locked in with contracts, groomed, and thrown into the spotlight. And now they’re men. And we know they are good guys. But… it’s not as simple as just dropping everything to stand up for what you believe in, ya know?

I mean, obviously all the great stuff that they love about their job they want to keep, but they’re also tied up to a million contracts. So it’s actually a really long legal process to cut ties with it all without going entirely bankrupt/sued/having your whole career ruined. It’s very yikes but they’re already in the thick of it, and at the top of it. So yeah. Even just speaking up could mean a breach of contract. It is very disappointing he’s not at the very least cut off W*nston though.

Both industries are profiting at the expense of young hopefuls, both industries have produced incredibly inspiring and fantastic people, and both industries have burnt people out to nothing. It’s extremely frustrating to watch.

[ingravinoveritas]

Why can not David just be a good actor and a good human being in your "discourse"? He cannot just play gay/ambiguous because he's a trained actor, he has to BE gay irl, there's no other explanation. He cannot wear the NB pin and be an outspoken ally because he's a good human and has always felt the unfairness of the situation, no, it means he's GAAAAY and maybe NB irl. Don't you see how you refuse his agency in your desire to objectify and imagine his sexuality as you'd like it to be?

(The Anon above is responding to this post, but I thought I would group these together since we now also have the picture of David wearing his new Pride pin.)

Hello, Anon. I realize I'm a few weeks late in responding (to this and many other Anons still waiting in my inbox), but we are still in the last few days of Pride month, as we've recently seen, so I thought I'd take a moment and address this.

First of all, I have not once anywhere on my blog ever said that David is gay, so I am not sure why you are putting words in my mouth, but doing so does nothing to help your already flimsy case. I think it's also worth noting that I am not the only one who has made the observations I have, as I've had countless people of all sexual orientations/gender identities say these things to me over DM, things many of them are afraid to say publicly because of people like you.

Secondly, it is very obvious to me that you did not at all listen to David's appearance on that podcast where he talked about Pride Month, because if you had, you would know that your attitude is the exact same type of phobic mindset he was talking about fighting against on the playground in primary school. It's the very fact that you are "defending" him from something that doesn't inherently need defending from that is the entire point that you seem to be missing. Further, when I have talked about David's sexuality, I am basing my thoughts on things David has actually said and put out into the universe, which you by contrast seem determined to ignore in favor of projecting who you think David is onto him, which seems far more like removing his agency than what you've accused me of doing. I also do not believe I am "objectifying" David's sexuality in any way, because for me, I do not care if David is straight, bi, gay, whatever--I just want him to be happy and feel that he can be free to be who he really is.

The other point of yours with which I strongly take issue is that you are trying to shove David into a narrow box when that is the very thing he was speaking against in that podcast. According to your words, he can either be a good human/actor or he is bi/enby, which gives the impression that these things are somehow mutually exclusive. My question to you is, why can't he be both? Why can't David be a good human/actor AND queer himself? What if what makes him such a good ally is that he is bi or enby and has experienced such difficulties with his identity and now wants to protect his child and others from going through something similar? And if that is the case, I'm not sure why you think that would be so awful as to resort to leaving mocking messages in my inbox.

To the points made by @hunterofartemisblog: I am so, sorry for what you went through. No child should experience something like that, let alone from a parent. I fully concur with you, however--we could speculate about David's (and Michael's) sexuality until the cows come home, but the one thing we can say for certain is that David and Michael (and Georgia) are incredible supporters of the LGBTQ+ community. Michael has been outspoken about his support for years, but I feel like David has become much more vocal in just the last year, and it is beautiful to see. Indeed, how lucky so many of us would be to have such support in our lives--from a parent, a friend, or anyone who loves and cares about us.

When I looked closely at this picture yesterday, I felt as though I could see tiredness and worry in David's eyes--which, again, could be for any number of reasons. My hope is that if he is bi or enby, that David has someone in his life to give him that support, who is letting him know that it is okay to be exactly who he is and that he is safe with them.

Clearly, there is still a lot of judgment awaiting David and/or all LGBTQ+ people who decide to be open about themselves, which may be one of the reasons why it's so hard to do exactly that. As Pride month draws to a close, I hope we can all think about how we can unlearn our own preconceived ideas about gender and sexuality--whether well-intentioned-but-misguided or outright harmful--and make this world safer for queer folks everywhere.

[my-mt-heart]

Hi MT, I just need to say something that's bothering me for weeks.

Yes, Melissa is back, obviously. Yes, we'll probably all watch The Book Of Carol. Does that mean we aren't allowed to state our opinion anymore?

Lately, I see people hyping S2 including rumors, sightings and pics. Which is amazing of course but personally, I still have and probably will always have a bad taste in my mouth.

It's the Daryl show. It's been for 1 1/2 years. Since they announced Melissa is out and no matter how many times NR says, :she's always been involved", she wasn't.

The whole show revolves around him. Him leaving his home, getting lost, finding allies and a way back home. Even with a heavy Carol oriented second season, it's still the Daryl show. What about the subtitle for S3 or maybe S4? The main title will always be the same, Daryl Dixon.

I don't want to shit in anyone's oatmeal. It's great that people are happy and hyped for S2. I can't wait to see our beautiful Carol and Melissa again. BUT I was hyped for a Caryl SO. Look at all we get at the moment. Still no Melissa. Yes, she's been always invisible until a certain point but it's not her equal SO, it's still Daryls and will always be. In articles, interviews, they'll always refer to its name, Daryl Dixon.

If anyone is thinking it isn't intentional, I'm sorry to burst your bubble. It is, very obvious so. The SO can have 5 subtitles, it's still the Daryl Dixon show.

It doesn't matter if Melissa was pushed out or if she left on her own will (it's still making me mad but it's a different topic), as soon as she was on board they should've gone with Raise The Dead or another title.

They didn't, they won't, they will always disrespect Carol and Melissa, no matter if she chose to come back. It continues to be the Daryl Dixon Spin Off.

Everyone hyping Melissa’s return and hoping for good Caryl stories is right to do so. Some may not think so, but I’m still holding out hope (I wouldn’t have any at all if Melissa’s EP title didn’t carry any weight). That being said, everyone who’s pointing out the issues with the title, other story elements, or the things being said in interviews are right to do so too. I wish it boiled down to one’s own outlook, positivity or negativity, but it doesn’t (I hate that dichotomy). It’s not on any of the fans. Yes, there are those who cross boundaries, who harass and threaten, and that’s not okay. Criticism in general though? Not only is it okay, it’s the only chance there is to change things. You seem to think Melissa/Carol will never be treated equally. Personally, I think it is possible 🤷🏻‍♀️ AMC needs to understand what the target audience wants, they need to know their revenue depends on how well they deliver what the target audience wants, and they need to hire a showrunner with the authority and the insight into the target audience to actually deliver what they want. How can we help ensure that? Talking about it. You don’t like that Carol’s name is only a subtitle? Say so. Don’t like the shipbaiting? Caryl’s ambiguity? Retcons? The gaslighting in the media? Say so. Or, if you just want to focus on what you’re looking forward to, do that. That’s my long-winded way of saying, yes, you’re allowed to have an opinion and you’re allowed to voice it respectfully provided you also respect the opinions of others who disagree ❤️

(I don’t think I need to say this at this point, but for what it’s worth, I share all of your frustrations)