#to keep me in remission

[ghosty206]

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[chalkrub]

art trade from toyhouse - love this funny evil guy

[tumble-tv]

Had to leave school early again because the pain was making me nauseous, and I couldn't focus, and I was struggling to stand for more than like 30 seconds. I hate this. I missed a cool assembly because of this. I missed my favorite class because of this. I'm so tired.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

dietitian warned me the other day i may need to go inpatient if this keeps getting worse and it hasn't left my mind ever since. partly because i don't see the reason. i am literally gaining weight. and also because a non-zero part of me wants to go back inpatient and i don't know why

[terraos]

Having to decide if I should be delusional or accept reality (which I cannot do without crying)

[secret-third-thing]

just curious...how much do you write every day?

Rest days? none.

Bad days? ~300 words

Good days? 5k+

Most days? ~2k-3k

[danielnelsen]

there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn

[quietwingsinthesky]

I think what bothers me most about that argument is that dean is talking down to Sam so much

Implying that he’s not mentally sound and that dena HAS to be the one to clean up, telling Sam to stop moping about it and then ending it by saying he can stop acting like a bitch now?

That’s what they view as dean standing up for himself?!??!

I really like the Amy benny Emma situations cuz it tells us so much about dean (Sam too but mostly dean) but like so little of what it tells us is positive. ESP since I personally think so much of the benny stuff is projection like immediately telling Sam not to kill benny and assuming Sam will go after him and then immediately going after amy when he finds out about her

alsjfjlfjs I barely have anything to add here, you hit the nail on the head

the whole argument just. Dean does not come out looking good there huh. Especially the jab about Sam’s hallucinations. And the earlier line, “There are certain people in this world, no matter how dangerous they are, you just can't.” There’s no way Dean is saying that without knowing how Sam is going to hear it. That Sam is the dangerous thing that Dean could never put down. The whole shifting of this situation to be on Sam is (fun for me because I love when Dean uses how well he knows Sam to hit him where it hurts) really messed up.

Him starting with telling Sam he’s got a right to be angry, but then following that up with telling him he’s been angry long enough and needs to stop… i Need to chew on him, when did he decide he was the authority on how long Sam gets to feel resentful or to grieve his friend…

Something horribly delicious about Dean appointing himself timekeeper on Sam’s feelings.

[theinfinitedivides]

said a prayer for Jjong today.

[divorcedmalewife]

I know this is going to make me sound old. but I don't care. I cannot fucking listen to the radio anymore. pop stations literally only play TikTok songs and I cannot handle it.

[chaelinsbitch]

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[kira-akira]

What I Want You To Know About Long COVID

Well lads, I've been suffering from Long COVID for over a year now. My life is at a complete standstill. I'm 25 years old and I'm too sick to go back to school, I can't work, I had to move back in with my parents and I'm still stuck here.

Here are just a few things I wish people knew about Long COVID, including things I didn't know myself until I got it.

COVID destroys your immune system. Yes, even if you don't have Long COVID. Are you getting sick more often now? When you get sick, does it last longer? There are many studies showing that COVID causes t cell depletion, even in mild COVID cases! T cells are how your body remembers how to fight off infections you've had before so losing those cells? Bad news.

Your initial infection can be mild and you can still get Long COVID. Right from Yale Medicine, "Most people with Long COVID had mild acute COVID." (This is also a good link for a basic Long COVID overview).

There can be a gap of time between when you "get better" from the initial COVID infection to the onset of Long COVID symptoms. Some people get sick with an initial COVID infection and never get better. Some get better and then weeks or months later start developing Long COVID symptoms. Long COVID symptoms can even fluctuate over time, can go away for months and then suddenly come back.

So many people have Long COVID and don't realize it. Do you feel more tired lately but no matter how much you sleep, nothing helps? Is it harder to concentrate at work or school? Can you just not think like you used to? You could have Long COVID and not even know it. Even mild post-COVID symptoms are still Long COVID.

COVID can do anything to your body. Long COVID has over 200 recognized symptoms and can affect basically any part or system of your body. There is no one mechanism or cause of Long COVID which unfortunately also means there's no one cure either.

The effects of COVID are cumulative. Each COVID reinfection increases your chances of developing Long COVID. COVID is also affecting your body in other ways, yes, even if you're otherwise young and healthy! "Repeat COVID-19 infections increase risk of organ failure, death".

Once you have Long COVID, repeat COVID infections will make your symptoms worse. "80% [of Long COVID patients] saw their symptoms worsen [from reinfection]. In 60% of people who were in recovery or remission from Long COVID, reinfection caused a recurrence of Long COVID."

There is a lot more I want to say about Long COVID but I want to keep this post at least somewhat manageable to read. Like how when COVID is contracted during pregnancy, those COVID-exposed fetuses have a 6.3-fold increased risk of motor developmental delays, or that another study found 50% of babies exposed to COVID in utero had developmental delays.

You need to keep caring about COVID, for others around you and also for yourself even if you're "healthy". Everyone is at risk. And don't forget 40-60% of COVID infections are asymptomatic, which is why masking even if you feel fine is crucial. The only way right now to not get Long COVID is to not get COVID in the first place. It's not too late, if you've stopped masking it's never too late to start again! I know it's easy to get distracted by things in your life that seem more real than the possibility of getting sick some time in the future, and the peer pressure to not mask can be intense. But it only feels less real or less important until your entire life is having Long COVID. Trust me.

I know this is a complicated issue, many people can't afford to stay home when sick even if they want to because of their jobs, there are disgusting policies trying to ban wearing masks, but please if you can. Keep masking. Masking works, masking saves lives.

This post got a bit longer than I wanted so below the cut is a non-exhaustive list of my Long COVID symptoms and some of my experiences as one of the "healthy young people" who got "unlucky". cw brief mention of suicidal ideation.

Welcome to the Thunderdome that is my body with Long COVID. Keep in mind these are just my experiences and symptoms, Long COVID can cause any range of symptoms at varying severities.

Dysautonomia: Exercise intolerance, Post-Exertional Malaise (PEM), fatigue, and heat intolerance. What do those things mean? Here's some specific examples. Absolutely terrible circulation I am so cold all the time but also, if I get a little too warm I will pass out. Eating hot food makes my heart rate spike, I sweat, my body feels heavy. Blood pooling and pins and needles in my feet when I walk. Don't even think about exercising past walking, it's impossible. I used to work out an hour a day 4 times a week and now walking up one flight of stairs makes my heart pound and I can't breathe. Can't take even just warm showers anymore or I will pass out. Heat rashes from being in the sun for 10 minutes.

Digestive issues: Honestly too many to name but: constant bloating, extreme nausea, constipation, slow motility, lack of appetite, just so much cramping and pain. I lost 18 pounds from Long COVID, as someone who was already considered underweight their entire life, and almost had to get a shunt put into my chest to deliver nutrients because I was nearly completely unable to eat. For the first 6 months of Long COVID, if I could manage 600 calories a day, that was a good day.

Histamine intolerance: Oh boy. My worst symptoms, I don't even know where to start with it. If you know Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) it's very similar. I can only eat 19 foods. If i eat a single bite of something not on that list, it's 48 hours of absolute hell. Coughing, migraines, itchy eyes, such extreme nausea I cannot even describe it, panic/feeling of doom, racing heart rate, derealization, rash, uncontrollable muscle tremors. I only learned about histamine intolerance 5 months into having Long COVID so before that, I was experiencing these symptoms nearly every single day. Terrifying isn't even a strong enough word to describe how it felt to experience all this and have no idea what it was, how to stop it, or if it would ever stop. Really dark times.

Neurological issues: More of that derealization. Inability to concentrate. Anxiety. OCD-like symptoms such as thoughts getting "stuck" in my head, repeating 24/7 completely unable to stop them, genuinely felt like my brain had cracked open and I had lost my mind. Constant dizziness like I'm on a boat.

Sleep issues: I sleep like garbage. I have insomnia, I wake up dozens of times every night and every single time I sleep I have intensely vivid dreams. I can't sleep longer than 7 hours total no matter how exhausted I am. It is exhausting. I'm exhausted, I'm so so tired.

And finally. Just. Really intense suicidal ideation. My body, my health, my entire life has been stolen from me because someone else decided my life was worth less to them than wearing a mask or staying home if they feel sick. Before I got Long COVID, I was preparing to go to South Korea to teach English, then on to a PhD in neurolinguistics, I was supposed to meet my long distance partner and had already booked plane tickets when I got sick. All of that has been destroyed.

Most of us with Long COVID are stuck in a cycle of being extremely sick, then if you're lucky you'll slowly get better over months, just to get reinfected and go right back where you started or worse. Honestly, I'm not scared of dying from COVID. I'm scared of living for a long time, suffering from Long COVID the entire time. This isn't living.

I don't know how to end this now. I'm still fighting, I'm trying experimental treatments, I'm not giving up yet. I hope everyone reading this stays healthy and well.

[gladiatordonut]

v much looking forward to therapy later this week because my brain has switched into SCREAM MODE (presumably because its the end of term? maybe because of the sad? who knows!) but it has officially occurred to me that i am getting real close to the "spent half my life on psych meds" benchmark

[drdemonprince]

just like going through the members of my family and my friend groups one by one, i can't think a single damn person i know who does not have a disability. ARFID. Autism. Metal rod in the spine. Arthritis. Cancer in remission. Long-term effects of repeated concussions. Bad back. Exhaustion. Crohn's. EDS. More Autism and ADHD. Migraines. Periods that lay them out for a week. Chronic depression. Alcoholism. Bipolar. Cataracts.

I do not know a single person who is not disabled, typically in multiple ways, and we all face increased disability as a natural consequence of aging. Literally every person on the planet becomes disabled on a long enough timeline. Yet we still talk about disability and organize around it as if it isn't social, economic, and contextual. people treat disability as an innate quality that some people have and some people do not have, and as if there is some large class of intrinsically abled people who are benefiting under capitalism and are withholding the fruits of their abilities from us or something.

i saw this post on twitter months ago that was like "I need people to understand that if you are in a relationship with a disabled person you are going to have to do more than them. you're not disabled and so you're going to have to do more of the work (around the house, logisticially, etc). that is what you owe them as an abled person."

and it just baffled me. because i have only ever seen disabled people in relationships with other disabled people, caring for one another in a stitched-together, messy web of interdependence and missed deadlines and dirty dishes and acceptance and love, not because disabled people are ontologically more generous than non-disabled people but because non-disabled people don't even actually exist.

the mythological abled person who can work a full time job, keep a clean home, do all the dishes, buy all the groceries, cook all the meals, run all the errands, stay on top of all the bills, carry everything, dash up the stairs, stand on their feet for hours, and have boundless energy without any mental consequences to that does not exist. it's an ideal created to oppress us all. it is an impossible standard the reification of which disables us all.

there is no one on this planet who is not disabled under capitalism and colonialism. there are only people who lack the class consciousness to recognize that they're disabled.

it's gonna have to be us taking care of one another. it's going to be the disabled caring for the disabled. it always will be that. that is the human condition.

[crushmeeren]

♡ Master List Link

Everyone involved in this is aged up/18+.

⋆ FEM READER ⋆

Men who live for the opportunity to fuck you from behind.

Not because they don’t want to watch your pretty features twist in pleasure, or because they don’t want to see your eyes widen in surprise.

Not because they don’t want to see the base of your skull digging into the pillow when their cocks hit it just right, or the way your tits bounce with their motions.

No, it’s because they’ve mastered fucking you in this position as if it’s a finely tuned skill. It is after all, the best way to get your head high up in the clouds. Guaranteed to make your pussy love them, to drool obscenely for them.

However, they’d be remiss not to mention it soothes the deepest, most repressed and possessive urges they have to fuck you like a dog. They want your chest and your face shoved suffocatingly into the mattress. Of course your ass is in the air, god there’s nothing like it.

Their cocks throb and twitch repeatedly while they study the way your spine curves. How your sweet fingers fist the sheets, back cramping from tensing so tightly. But even still, they hold out on cumming. There’s no way they’re gonna end it this quickly, fuck no. They want to watch their cocks disappear into you for as long as they can drag it out.

They pay attention as you snake one hand under yourself to play with your clit, rubbing fast circles until your pussy starts to flutter. Hugging their cocks in an overwhelmingly slick and silky warmth as you help yourself cum.

Right after this is when they really start to fuck you, palms pressing into your lower back, threatening to break your spine. They put their strength to use, thrusting even harder.

These men will bully your g-spot until your throat feels raw from crying out their names. Going until you’re shoving your overheated face into the sheets, a palm braced on the wall in front of you so you don’t get a fucking concussion.

They keep at it until you cry out you can’t take it, till you’re both dripping with sweat. Even then, they still force another climax out of you, despite your pleas.

Their voices are low, intimidating, and enticing all at once when they speak next. Conveniently replacing your brain with cotton.

“C’mon, give me another pretty girl. Just do what I fucking say and I’ll give your sweet little pussy a treat, promise. You want that, don’t you?”

It’s with terrifying precision that they make this last orgasm count, just to see you squirt of course.

They wait until your entire being has gone taught for a few seconds. Letting you enjoy the full intensity of your orgasm before pulling out quickly and watching you squirt onto the sheets below as they paint your ass white.

These men can play your body like a fiddle every single time, especially hitting it from behind. They leave you a panting, sweaty heap on the bed always. They fucking live for it.

EREN, levi, BAKUGOU, kirishima, GOJO, zoro, hawks, SANEMI, KUROO, benimaru + any of your faves!

[sowhatnotcreative]

Every day that the meds don't quite get me to the baseline I'm used to I have a moment (or a few) of "this is it. It was nice while it lasted".