#to including him in their family dinners that are otherwise just them and their adopted kids

[syn0vial]

#beviin is the same age or younger than luke/leia according to his wookipedia#i think it's actually fair that boba doesn't consider him a parental figure on this one yall#hes technically young enough to be BOBA'S kid

while beviin is younger than boba, i believe the exact difference in the novels is said to be ~10 years, so saying he's young enough to be boba's kid isn't quite correct

boba's friendship with beviin in the expanded universe is so funny. he's like, "yes, this is my best friend beviin. he has colossal dad energy, adopts practically every orphan he comes across, and constantly refers to me with a term of endearment that only my father ever used. he's the platonic ideal of a mandalorian in my eyes and his is the only opinion i care about. his armor's color scheme is literally the inverse of my father's. if you attempt to psychoanalyze me about any of this, i will kill you with explosives"

[reveluving]

moments that matter ; bruce wayne x batmom reader

warnings: pure fluff!

a/n: I got nothing to say, I just wanted to give battinson!bruce a try!

check out my batmom m.list!

it's hard for people to believe that he's a married man, let alone a father.

out of everyone in the family, many wonders how bruce had not only proposed to you, but also fathered the former acrobat. at first, they thought its cause the boy lost his parents, just as bruce did. and with dick's more upbeat energy, it's understandable that he likely takes it from you than bruce.

but then, bruce adopts another kid.

and another.

and another.

... and another.

and everyone starts asking themselves if this was all his idea or yours.

oh, if only they knew.

if only they knew your struggle to resist those sad eyes he'd give you.

you just wished the public gave him so much more credit when it comes the kids. you don't think you could even handle the life as a mother without bruce.

and as much as your kids love to joke about bruce's 'teenage phase', one can only imagine the sheer gratefulness they had for him and you.

the perfect balance to this cruel yet sweet world.

it doesn't take long for people to figure out that your children's compassionate side has to come from you, which they weren’t wrong. even bruce himself acknowledged it.

but bruce is anything but heartless, no no. would he even consider taking any of them under his wing if he was? no!

and the idea of fatherhood came easier because you were by his side. so what if he now has eight kids? why would he want to imagine what his life would've been without them?

without the texts from dick, who's all the way in bludhaven, to take breaks?

without jason's interferences when he's outnumbered by a number of gangsters?

without the sounds of tim and damian arguing over the littlest things, only to hilariously end it by shaking hands when you give them 'the eye'?

without attending cass' recital with you, your boys and even alfred, steph, babs and kate as she's the main dancer?

without terry being matt's assistant as the latter tries to treat bruce's so-called ouchies?

without living this life without you?

no. it was impossible to imagine the other bruce wayne.

the bruce wayne he didn't turn out to be.

but hey, speaking of yourself, wanna know a random fact he loves about you?

your style!

whatever your aesthetics may be, he loves you for it! who was he to say otherwise, when he doesn't really take his own into account anyway?

you're in all-black too? that's great! no one's here to judge—not him, not alfred, and certainly not his kids. you're the one able to mix and match like a true professional!

but say your sense of style falls under the bright/pastel/fairycore-like category! gotham's pretty depressing, including the manor itself, so he appreciates it when he's suddenly slapped with a sight of his wife donning her soft pink dress.

bruce finds it endearing that you actually wore the shades he bought for both you and himself. he thought he was being silly at first, wondering if you'd actually wear it, so imagine his surprise when just days after, you decided to match with him when he found the time to take you out to dinner.

he's even more surprised when one day, duke tells him that you've been under the weather because you lost the shades.

instead of waking up to your husband the next day, you find a glasses case on his pillow, complete with a golden ribbon.

he's bought you a new pair, the same kind, but this time, bruce purposely ordered it so that 'mrs wayne' was written next to the frame name.

he comes home, feigning ignorance by raising his brow, though he knew good and well why you were practically blinding him with your smile before you peppered his face with kisses.

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

[brie-annwyl]

Angst because it’d sun to feel every once in a while

Bruce has never known a day of peace since he took in Dick as his ward, not because he’s a father now and it led to him adopting multiple other little hellians. Because all of his children love to prank and spite him. Dick (surprisingly) was the most tame out of them all, only occasionally hiding things from Bruce or using nerf guns against him at the most inconvenient times (galas especially).

Jason after living on the streets for a few years picked up on how to be EXTREMELY quiet and how to hide well. Without any pattern or explanation Jason would just randomly disappear from the manor, sometimes to make it more interesting he would stage it like he ran away or that someone took him. Bruce believes Jason wanted to give him a heart attack before 50. Jason always tried to get Dick to join in on the little pranks but with Dick and Bruce not having a good relationship, he never got the chance to. (Jason staging “running away” and “kidnappings” were the reason Bruce wasn’t immediately freaked out when Jason wasn’t in the manor when he went to Ethiopia. He just thought Jason was pranking him.)

Tim is in for a rude awakening when he tries to prank Bruce. It’s been a while since he became Robin, him and Dick are incredibly close and he’s started staying at the manor more often than not. Bruce ruffles his hair and laughs at his jokes, they even had a movie night the other day! So when Dick subtly mentions how he used to prank Bruce and that Jason followed in his footsteps, he feels like it’s a right of passage for Robins to do so. Tim accidentally brings back an old memory of Jason by doing a prank like Jason would do, Bruce just freezes when he sees Tim and leaves the room. Tim doesn’t prank him after that. (Bruce immediately realizes his mistake after Tim never tries to participate in pranks again but is too socially inept to fix things.)

Damian thinks pranks are ridiculous and stupid. He never attempted one until Dick pranked Bruce one day a few months after he came back from the time bs. It’s the first time Damian watches Bruce wheeze, he pulls Dick into a tight embrace and kisses his forehead and it fills Damian with an ache he’s never felt before. So, he researches pranks he can try and asks Jon for assistance. In the end he tries something small, he puts saran wrap on the entrance to the kitchen in the evening. Bruce absolutely eats shit but laughs all the same when he sees Damian giggling from the dinner table. (Tim pretends not to notice the commotion from his tablet. There’s a lump caught in his throat throughout all of dinner.)

Steph only pranked Bruce whilst on patrol as Robin. She hasn’t done it since and rationalizes the pain she feels by saying “every Robin does it” instead of “all his kids do it.”

Duke? He will help others pull off their own pranks, he never makes one of his own. He doesn’t feel as though it’s his place (even though he lives there and Bruce loves him all the same. Sometimes he can’t believe it)

Cass blames her pranks on others, she wants to be included with her brothers but doesn’t know what Bruce’s reaction to her pranks would be if he knew they were her own (he does know, he sees her set them up but still acts as through he doesn’t see them)

Jason re-enters the family with a prank, he hides in Bruce’s study whilst he waits for him to get home. He cannot honestly say what he hopes to achieve in doing this, he just wants a sense of normalcy that he had when he was little he misses his dad and just wants a hug again (touch starved Jason is canon you will not tell me otherwise). The prank worked, Bruce got scared but upon realizing it was Jason he immediately pulls him into a hug and kisses his forehead. Jason melts completely and stays for dinner that night upon Bruce’s request.

Tim watched on from afar as they all prank Bruce. A privilege he doesn’t believe he deserves. It’s noticed by everyone but no one knows why he doesn’t except for Bruce, the one person who is physically incapable of being emotionally vulnerable. So Tim watched on as his siblings get forehead kisses and full belly laughs and he’ll give them half smiles and thumbs up as he escapes to another room (most likely the cave) so he can bury his sadness for another day.

[veryace-ficrecs]

Spiderverse fic recs

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

I can't guarantee there aren't any spoilers for the new movie!

Superhero Adoption Agency by brushstrokesApocalyptic - Rated T

Jefferson Davis realizes that Spider-Man is a child, and is determined to put an end to his recklessness. Miles disapproves.

It’s a School Night, Why are You Out Saving the World? by TechnicolorVocab01 - Rated G

Jefferson Davis can’t lie to himself, as much as he tries. He and Miles have always butted heads-- his son just has this carefree, unfettered approach to life that Davis' strict, no-nonsense methods seemingly have no place in. A large part of him loves Miles for that, truly, even though sometimes Jefferson feels as if he's just slowing him down. But now, with Miles away at school on weeknights-- seemingly always busy with something or another-- Jefferson has never felt that gaping space between himself and his son yawn wider. Enter the new Spider-Man. A free-spirited kid, five foot nothing and standing between the whole city and danger as if it’s his job, breaking a long series of minor laws with careless ease, and giving a certain cop heart palpitations on a regular basis. Jefferson Davis can’t lie to himself anymore. No matter how much he hates vigilantes-- especially of the masked variety-- a child is a child. And a dad is a dad.

what's up danger by tempestaurora - Rated T

Gwen snorted. “You and Miles would get along-” A smile appeared on her face, growing wider. “You wanna go on a trip?” “A multi-dimensional trip.” “The only fun kind,” she agreed. Gwen turned to him, her smile large and coaxing. “It’ll be great. I’ll get you back here as soon as you want – but it could be fun! Meet Miles, maybe another Peter if we have time.” Peter really wanted to go to another universe, let’s be clear. But he a) had homework, b) didn’t need his brain to melt out of his ears, and c) had a dinner to get to in three hours. He totally ended up going to another universe.

spiderman loves you by owlinaminor - Rated T

Or: how to figure out if your son is actually Spiderman without letting him know that you suspect he’s Spiderman because you want to make sure you’re right about him being Spiderman before you ground him for the rest of his adolescent life.

@heyitsspiderman by meggannn - Rated T

@heyitsspiderman: people act like they know this city but when i’m in the air i find more boroughs all the time. so far ive counted ten. dont listen to big brother in your ceiling (google) telling you otherwise (google maps)

Spinsta (Spidey Insta) by Ravenesta - Rated T

There are things that Jefferson Davis simply does not understand. He's starting to, though.

the family brooklyn by tactfulGnostalgic - Rated T

Series: 4 Works

New York is notoriously protective of its superheroes.

New Moves by WildInkling - Rated G

"Miles needed something else - he needs more moves, he needs new moves. Watching old Spider-man videos on Who-Tube was not gonna be enough." Or: Miles Morales takes up ballet.

Down the Waterspout by Mockingone - Rated T

Peter Parker hightails out of the particle collider with Miles Morales tucked under his arm. Or: Spider-Man lives, and the consequences thereafter.

One New Message by loveydoveywlw - Rated G

"When his dad finds out about him being Spider-Man, it's not in any way that Miles has hoped it would happen." Jefferson finds out about Miles's secret.

Niṣkalaṃka by HydraNoMago - Rated T

“I’m not stupid,” Pavitr retorted stubbornly. Hobie pulled back to look him in the eye, thumbs grazing across Pavitr’s cheeks, dragging frustrated tears along them. “Pav,” he began, but halted to find the right words. He inhaled shakily. “Okay Pav listen, please. You don’t have to be perfect all the time.” “What do you mean–” Pavitr, the Spider-Man who strives for perfection; meets Hobie, the Spider-Man who skews perfection. (A character study into Pavitr, and the progression of his relationship with Hobie. No one dies, everyone moves forward.)

live, laugh, love & sleep by hopeless_hope - Rated T

Being a superhero and traveling the multiverse is exhausting work. So is being a student. You can't blame a guy for always falling asleep. or Five times someone finds Miles sleeping and one time they can't wake him up.

[springsaladgaming]

💗 GROWING HEART - if they have a crush, is it noticable? what changes when they’re in love?

hi, anon!

I reblogged those oc question lists so long ago that I was surprised to get more asks for them. Thanks for including the questions with them and saving me some time!

Alex - I think this depends on so many factors! On the one hand, if the crush is on someone they are very close to, it might be less noticeable because Alex tends to act flirty even in purely platonic situations. On the other hand, they may have other tells that an especially observant person might notice. In general, it's more noticeable if they have a crush on someone they don't know well because they will flirt with them and would not otherwise. In general, Alex might be more touchy or go out of their way to spend more time with a person they are in love with, and these are probably better tells than general flirtatious behavior.

Ansel - When Ansel has a crush, it is not obvious assuming he is actively trying to hide it—he has a pretty superb poker face when he wants to. That said, he wouldn't see much reason to hide a crush on someone unless he thought pursuing anything with that person was a bad idea for whatever reason. Ansel is nice to almost everyone, but he'll be especially doting on someone he's in love with, always checking in during free moments to make sure they are comfortable, fed, and generally taken care of.

Teagan - It's not obvious to anyone else because it's probably not obvious to him either—further complicated by being demiromantic. Teagan generally doesn't experience the 'crushing on someone' phase of emotion, at least not like most people. When any such phase happens, it probably just looks like he's being a good friend, because close friendship is kind of a requirement before he can feel anything romantic for someone. It will be obvious once he's in love, though, because he'll want to spend the majority of his free time around the person he's in love with.

Cherry - Highly variable, I think, depending on who she's crushing on, how badly she wants to hide it, and how badly the other person wants to hide it assuming they reciprocate. Cherry can not only read the emotions of others, she can also adopt them to a certain point. So, for example, if she was crushing on a person who was not interested in her romantically whatsoever, it would be pretty easy for her to just mirror whatever emotions that person has when they are around her and hide her crush that way. So, yeah, highly variable. Figuring out how she feels can sometimes get very sticky and messy. If she's in love, though, I think her own emotions would supersede any that she picks up from the other person, so it would be pretty obvious because she'd often be blushing and awe-struck.

Lucia - She's a bit of a hopeless romantic, so it's probably obvious to everyone. It would take a lot of effort for her to hide a crush if she wanted to, but she probably wouldn't want to anyway. When she's in love with someone, she tends to devote herself wholly to their comfort and happiness—to a fault, really. It's definitely gotten her into trouble in her past major relationship where she was clearly more invested than the other person.

Rene - Middle of the road I guess? If he is crushing on someone, he's likely to just ask them out on some dates to test the waters, so it's obvious in the sense that it's not going to stay hidden for long regardless. When he's in love with someone, he's likely to do a lot of acts of service—little things like making them dinner, cleaning up for them, etc. As an ace-spec person myself, I think that it would all be pretty obvious, but I suppose some people might be looking for clues of sexual attraction, and those won't happen with Rene, so I guess it also depends on what a person considers "big tells."

??? - Assuming the person isn't a threat to her or her family, a crush would be pretty obvious because she is used to "taking what she wants," in a sense. She would make that crush known and only stamp it out entirely if it was unwelcome. She can be a very intense person, so her expressions of love can range from as mundane as "I will make dinner for you (or pay to have someone make dinner for you)" to "i would literally blow up a building for you." If she cares about someone, you'll know it.

thanks so much for the ask! 🧡

[villain-sympathizer]

Hi! I’ve been carving some skeptic content lately, and I was wonder if you can do a skeptic x reader domestic life + pregnancy fic? Maybe with a dash of family life aswell?

yes yes yes YES i adore a lil domestic skeptic!!! i'm going to change it up a bit to omit pregnancy and just change it to expecting a child (so you can envision it as either pregnancy or adoption!), so that everyone can enjoy!

────── ･ ｡ﾟ: *.☽ .* : ｡ﾟ･ ──────

»»—— Fatherhood ——««

[Skeptic x GN!Reader]

[Contents: GN!Reader; No gendered descriptions for reader; Written in third person with “[Name]” instead of “y/n” so OCs can be included!; Fluff; Domestic life; Raising a kid.]

[Shoutout to @thotsforvillainrights for their idea on Skeptic's daughter, Tomoko!]

[Content warnings: None I can think of!]

“…A baby?” Tomoyasu repeats the words back to his spouse, pausing his furious typing on his home office computer – a sleek, dual monitor beauty that he considered to be his child. At least for now, since the current conversation was suggesting otherwise. “That’s quite the step in life, dear. Are you sure?”

Over the years, Tomoyasu’s personality had changed drastically since the first time he met his partner. Back then, he would have openly laughed at the idea of being a father, or at being in a relationship in the first place. He was Skeptic of the Meta Liberation Army! The CEO of Feel Good Inc.! A secretive and undercover villain previously wanted by the entire country of Japan! As if he’d ever have the time or security to settle down and start a family, he barely even had the patience to deal with full grown adults.

But, again, that was years ago. Now, he found himself taking more time off, taking better care of himself by sleeping a little more regularly and eating proper meals. Tomoyasu even managed to get rid of the deep bags under his eyes, at least to a level that wasn’t concerning. And it was all thanks to [Name], his wonderfully understanding and patient lover, who would bite back whenever he got snippy with them. It’s because of their kind yet stern care that he was able to develop a healthier routine, slowly breaking down his icy walls until Tomoyasu did the unthinkable: he got married. And now here he was, acting fairly calm and collected when faced with the question of raising their own child, yet another one of life’s options he never considered in the past. Because in all honestly, he wasn’t opposed to the idea.

[Name] offers him an assuring smile, walking in further to the office from their place leaning against the door frame. Tomoyasu then caught a whiff of dinner from the hallway, knowing his spouse must have been mulling over this while cooking. “Right now? Yes. But I’m willing to talk this over more if you want,” they respond, reaching over to push the dark curtain of his bangs back so they could plant a sweet kiss to his forehead.

Tomoyasu hums softly in content at the action, lazily moving his mouse to save the work he had been typing up. “How about we chat more over dinner?” With his partner’s chipper ‘okay!’ as a response, the two of them leave the office.

Dinner was spent discussing the various pros and cons of having a kid, what they would need, how responsibility would be split between them – Tomoyasu even suggested he get a crib for his office at work if he ever needed to babysit, since he likes to keep his office there quiet and off-limits to others. They’d have no shortage of babysitters, either, since Chitose and Koku would be more than delighted to play the part of a rich aunt and uncle. Plus, Rikiya was a huge fan of kids, so if Tomoyasu needed to bring them to an MLA meeting, the commander wouldn’t mind one bit.

Once the two of them were at the point that they were eagerly tossing out name ideas, that’s when Tomoyasu knew what their decision was: they were going to have a baby.

The wait was long and nerve-wracking, the couple spending most of their time setting up a nursery in what used to be the guest room, since they’d be kidding themselves if they said they ever had guests stay the night. When the rest of the MLA heard of the news, Chitose basically demanded they have a baby shower. Tomoyasu was against the idea, but eventually agreed to it as long as it wasn’t over the top and was only between officers of the MLA and the PLF, if they wished to come.

[Name] didn’t mind the party at all, since they were given plenty of gifts that consisted of necessities for the baby: plenty of clothes and supplies from Chitose, coupons for free ‘first time parenting’ classes from Koku, an assortment of books from Rikiya, and even toys from Toga, Twice, and Mr. Compress. By the end, the two of them were fully prepared for their baby.

After all the waiting, the nerves, and the stress of making sure everything was perfect, the little one was finally home… And Tomoyasu has never felt so out of his element. Taking a seat on the couch, he reaches shaky arms upward when [Name] offered to let him hold their little girl, Tomoko.

“Just take a breath and relax, Tomo,” [Name] instructs him, quiet as to not upset the infant in their arms. “You’re not going to hurt her or anything.”

Tomoyasu simply swallows harshly. “Wh- What if she doesn’t like me? What if I make her cry?”

[Name] snorts in amusement at that, taking a seat next to him on their couch to carefully transfer Tomoko into his embrace. “Babies cry, Tomo. That’s, like, their main trait,” they reply. “Don’t worry, I’m right here to help.”

Now with the baby in his arms, Tomoyasu instantly felt all his nerves and worries fade away upon seeing the sleeping face of their daughter. Pudgy cheeks, thin whisps of hair atop her head, and equally tiny hands curled against her chest in her swaddled position. Here he was, a father – a part of life he used to laugh at when he was younger. But now…

Now, he’ll do anything to see their little girl grow up happy.

[duck-in-a-thrift-store]

Alright we've finally reached the basement and backyard! This one might be extra long because there's a lot to cover

(image credits to/designs made using the app HomeByMe from Dassault Systèmes SE)

I don't think you can tell from the picture but there's a retaining wall across the front due to the hill that butts up against the front of the house, as mentioned in the last installment. There wasn't a front yard in the last part bc I imagine they're kind of right on the road (sort of like the og full house) and the driveway wraps around one side and down from the road in front to the garage in the back (I had already added a lot of extra space and stuff to this level and the app was starting to get a little glitchy so I decided against expanding the area further lol)

So anyway, the basement is where a lot of the various practical function type rooms are; we've got the laundry room in the front, the kitchen and the dining room on the right, etc.

There's the garage, please ignore the car that's in there as there weren't a lot of options and I know that one little minivan (I think it was a minivan?) is definitely not going to cut it for a household of this size but they didn't have any actual vans and I didn't have space to include multiple cars, so just use your imagination and picture that there are two more cars parked outside along the driveway or smthn (I'm thinking Steve has his car but he mostly lets Nancy or Jonathan drive it since his vision is starting to get worse, Eddie has his van, and Argyle still has the surfer boy pizza van bc he got to keep his old job but got transferred to a new location. Don't question the logistics of that it's not important)

You're probably wondering what the hell a "dog room?" is. I couldn't think of a better name for it, but basically I decided they should have a dog and that they adopt a stray they find, and this is the room where they keep the dog stuff. He's got a bed and a crate and his bowls in there, and it's also where they keep his food and all the other dog-related supplies. There's a door giving direct access to the yard from this room, and a hook by the door to hold a leash. All that said, the dog doesn't end up actually being in this room all that much besides when he eats, since everyone takes turns letting him sleep in their rooms and he's pretty much glued to his humans' sides when they're home

Beside the dog room is the aforementioned laundry room. I haven't decided for sure yet whether each person is responsible for their own laundry or if there's a designated laundry-doer (as well as other assigned chore roles) so we'll have to come back to that later

Next is the kitchen, and I'm following the lead of what seems to be majority consensus in fandom that Steve is a good cook, so he's usually the one making family meals in here. Also, El frequently sneaks down into the basement for late night eggos, and Will- who had become familiar with this habit of hers during their time in Lenora- sometimes accompanies her (trust that this au will have some strong willel sibling vibes bc its one of my favorite underexplored tropes in canon)

The kitchen is connected to the dining room; they're not actually separate rooms there's just a sort of mostly-for-aesthetic-purposes divider between them. The dining room is where they sit when everyone shares a meal or when they have company over for dinner, otherwise people just sort of take their food wherever they want if they're eating alone. They eat dinner together most nights

There's a door from the dining room out onto a patio, which is fitting since the patio is pretty much just a smaller, outdoor dining room (that's a picnic table in the middle). They grill sometimes but also just go out there to eat like, pb&js and chips in the warm sunlight and fresh air. It's also a place to sit and dry off or hang out after a swim, and the lower end has a pool shed where they store stuff like floats and nets and salt bags

Past the pool shed is the actual pool, which is an emotionally weighted part of the setting for several characters. El doesn't like the pool very much and mostly avoids it at first, but eventually she grows to love swimming (this au is also going to involve a lot of reclamation of things formerly tied to trauma). Steve on the other hand has very mixed feelings about the pool which he mostly tries to ignore. Mike tends to get weirdly clingy when Will wants to swim and always insists on going with him

Next to the back door is the external stairs to the deck on the first floor, and right inside the door is another mud room (don't ask me why they need two I didn't know what else to put in the space ok? Besides maybe it's just a matter of preference, some people prefer coming in through the basement and some prefer coming in through the first floor). Further in is the living room, which is sort of a more formal/intimate gathering space in some ways compared to the den upstairs; the den is for friends and neighbors, the living room is for family, if that makes sense? Or just for more "serious" company or family meetings

Back out into the yard, there's the gardening/tool shed, where Argyle likes to build birdhouses and the original party likes to tinker with old electronics, and where they keep the supplies for the greenhouse right next to it. They started growing their own fruits and vegetables out of necessity at first, back when everyone was nervous to leave the house, but now its use is mostly split between what Steve grows for use in the kitchen and Eddie & Argyle's home-grown weed

I think that's just about everything. The next installments will most likely be about roommate pairings and more in-depth bedroom designs

[rebelumbrella46]

Rewatching TUA - 2X07 “Oga For Oga”

This is the first episode where you can start to notice how time travel and the apocalypse are wearing Five down. He clearly wants no more death and bloodshed, but still kills the Board and makes a deal with the Handler, to save the family.

In S1, Five always talks about Saving the World, but to me... I think it's always been more about saving his family, otherwise he would have chosen to leave Viktor behind or killed him himself in the ending of the first season (as in the comics).

But he doesn't, and he doesn't even think about leaving anyone behind in this episode, which is why he's so frustrated and constantly says things like "he was better off alone" because now he has to take care of five people (six if you count Ben) and that is a huge responsibility and very traumatic when you have seen them die over and over again.

It is unfair when the Umbrellas blame him for scattering them in the 60s and Five, although he feels bad, he never refutes it (neither in ep 2x01 when Luther blames him, nor in the third season when Allison does) except for the confrontation with Viktor in this chapter and the difference is that Viktor is partly to blame for destroying the world.

But if you look, everything is a chain, somehow no one is to blame and everyone is at once. Including Reginald for what he did to Viktor, Klaus throwing Reginald's book in the trash for Leonard to find, Allison for trying to rumor Viktor in 1x08, Luther for locking him up, and Viktor for not listening to Allison's warnings about Leonard and for going back for Sissy and Harlan instead of going with Five. Five for traveling through time, abandoning the others, and weakening the Academy.

Just imagine how different all would have been if they had taken Sissy, Harlan and Raymond with them. 

For a start... we would have TWO Bens!

Since I doubt Reginald would have adopted them, even if Harlan hadn't murdered the mothers. That's the only thing I can think of that Diego screwed up (after dinner and making Grace break up with Reggie)

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Weekly Roundup: Prompts

Tsukihime

kohaku and shiki feeding/stuffing, can be as fluffy or dark as op would like

FSN

In a moment no one rarely sees, Medea mourns over what she did to her kids. Heracles, who happened to be passing by, offers a shoulder in comfort

would taiga & jaguarman throw hands on sight tho ?

FGO

Gore, Guda offers themselves up as sacrifices to the Aztec god of their choosing leading to some very gory fun

Gudako uses Barghest's washboard abs as a literal washboard.

gudao, oberon, and castoria have a sleepover! Castoria finds out what happens when you fall asleep first. (It does not matter what happens, such as face doodling, pranking, nothing, or outright somno, ANYTHING can happen to her. can be taken seriously or in a nonsensical way)

Autistic Ritsuka who really likes the texture of Vritra’s scales

Smut, Someone fucks Hessian’s headstump.

Someone, anyone, lesbian Salieri/Amadeus, make em women and make em kiss. Hell they can do anything i need some wlw in my life

Baoban Sith (accidentally or otherwise) calls Mash "father".

Smut, Ramas pissed: no one believes his Sita is the best! It's not his fault his wife is still not being able to be summoned despite his numerous attempts! So, in order to right this wrong, he obviously has to crossdress as his beloved and give the sloppiest head to anyone that asks

Smut, tsuna has always wanted to try out somnophilia. it takes a bit of convincing but kintoki is a loving boyfriend and eventually gives in to him. does it go how tsuna imagined???

This is gonna be so obvious LMAO, but I'd love to see anyone's take on feeder!Helena and feedee!Holmes, anything along those lines!

After some time, Kriemhild has accepted that her adopted son Schmidt has started dating and invites them over for family dinner. What she didn't expect is for him to show up with two people, both of whom seem to be bad influences on her son (Sieg×AstolfoxJeanne trouphle but honestly it can be anyone)

Any fandom

due to servants like Paul Bunyan, we know that a character doesn't have to actually exist to be summonable by the holy grail. They just need to have a large body of broadly accepted myths about them. Even if the character is one people know is complete fiction, if there's enough stories about them, it is possible to summon them. Ergo, I want to see what happens in a hypothetical Holy Grail War where some dumbass summons Superman.

Smut, I am in desperate need for maid girls getting bred by other girls, which part of the nasuverse you do is your call, though I'm more familiar with the Fate side of things.

Yknow what, we need more character/reader first, idc if they're sweet or smutty or downright nasty

I wanna see the crackficiest crackfic you can dream up out of the Nasuverse. Like aim for the level of Grinch/Tony the Tiger. The less there is to back up the pairing in canon, the better. Only rule: once you pick your pairing, do it entirely seriously. It can be fucked up or wholesome, you just have to treat it seriously.

The Boys are having a bbq and kintoki is making the extra effort to make mandricardo feel included and comfortable. What kintoki doesn't realise is that he's getting a little too touchy-feely with mandy, who now has to juggle his social anxiety with his growing desire to fuck this gorgeous hunk of a himbo

Samurai Remnant

Musashi accidentally let its slip that in a past universe she met some guy called Yoshinaka and is immediately jumped by Tomoe for more info

[elmaxlys]

L, N, and P for the ask please? 💙

Oooh, interesting ones :3 thanks! :D

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves.

Akira is really cool and her character evolution feels quite fitting as the daughter of Kureo. I like the way she fights and the way she has such a strong grip on her feelings and how she learns to show these more a little at a time but still staying quite reserved.

N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

1- [Tenkuu Shinpan] I'd love to see more of literally anything that isn't Sniper. Yuri independantly of Nise, Nise independantly of Yuri, Kuon as a destructive force, RIKA AS A WHOLE, literally anyone else. It's not fair how everyone just looks at Sniper and ignores absolutely everything else about this series.

2- [Tokyo Ghoul] CLOWNS POSITIVITY. i'm including kanou in this. Still bitter they got excluded from the tgzine (if there are tg zines going on at twitter or whatever feel free to inform me any time btw)

3- arranged weddings and body swaps, not necessarily at once but they are things i love to see dealt with :3

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Mmmm... Shirazu lives and gets more dads AU.. This got out of hands. Warning for long post bc I don't want to put it under a readmore

After Nutcracker and Hayashimura left all the rights to the quinque to him + after the haircut, Shirazu and Hayashimura become a bit closer, and like Mucchan training with Suzuya, Shiragin sometimes trains with Hayashimura. Hayashimura and Fura help him get over his thing with Nutcracker and so he trains better with the quinque and thanks to that (partially), he survives Noro (also like. Urie thinks to fucking feed him after he's injured. he thought to do that in literally the first arc. come on.).

And so after Rose, he ends up with the Noro quinque and he doesn't give Nut to Hayashimura but like. he lends it to him and stuff and idk he takes smoke breaks with Fura and Fura invite him to dinner with his family sometimes and Hayashimua also adopts him and Shirazu improves rapidly and becomes a great leader for the Quinx, even after Haise distances himself from them.

And Urie isn't, like, happy about all that but he accepts it somewhat because of how scared he got to lose Shirazu in the end. And Saiko begins to take things seriously. And Shirazu is the one to visit Hinami in prison and he starts advocating not to kill her because she's Sassan's little sister and he gets it, you know?

And Urie still got closer to Matsuri but in a, like, diminished measure since he isn't squad leader. Matsuri's still crushing on him and inviting him to dinner but he has to invite the rest of the Quinx with him because otherwise it's weird. And therefore the Quinx get closer to the Washuu Clan and Yoshitoki just loves Shiragin and he's glad his son's making some friends. Iyo and Saiko become friends too, Saiko teaches her to play Mario Kart or something.

And the Quinx begin to smell something weird about the Washuu thanks to their super senses, even if they're not really sure to identify it (think the way Hide hid from ghouls but the other way around?)

And Shirazu takes the Robed Giant case seriously and so they meet on Rushima after finding Mutsuki all messed up, and Saiko manages to get the rights to him because Shirazu's the leader and not traumatized Urie. And I guess Yoshitoki either dies (i don't want him to but. for plot) or manages to fake his death and flees with Marude.

Cue Koutarou in Cochlea when his dad finally got out :) Cue Saiko visiting Koutarou all the time, sometimes accompanied by Shirazu. And Shirazu just doesn't believe what he's told about Sasaki, and when Koutarou gets closer to Saiko (they were made to be besties fight me), he starts telling her stuff off the record and so she asks Hsiao, which never confirms or denies anything. So Saiko takes Shiragin and has Koutarou tell him all he told her.

And Shirazu who has felt icky about his job since Nutcracker becomes extremely wary of the CCG politics. But Matsuri, who was their sorta friend clearly needs support so they stay close to him and therefore he gets a bit better and poses a real problem in terms of succession. Iyo takes the destroying of the Washuu clan as an opportunity to ask for divorce. Matsuri takes the divorce as an opportunity to be a little honest with Urie (not about his crush but about him being gay and Urie's like #same.) and they get closer bc they both have unrequited feelings for some guy and dead daddy issues.

And then the Clowns Raid happens. And it's Shirazu with Urie when they get to Donato. And while Urie is crucified on the ceiling Shirazu manages to talk to him like wait aren't you Amon Koutarou's dad? A-Owl? Floppy? And idk how it leads to that but after a bit, the Quinx, like, desert the CCG and help Koutarou get out of Cochlea with Donato (shhhh this is pure self indulgence), and it doesn't go exactly well because the Clowns are awful and welp they can't really go with them, but Amon stays with the Quinx that he decided to adopt while Donato goes back to the background where people forget about him until the next strike like he does so well

AND Amon has connection to Hide so they go find him which means they also find Matsuri, who they thought died in the raid, and there they learn everything about the CCG and the Washuu and they get Haru treated after getting her out of the CCG hospitals bc they feared they'd let her die after the Quinx' defection.

This and that happen but in the end the Quinx end up becoming the bridge between ghouls and humans they were meant to be and therefore Souta's plan doesn't need to be implemented anymore and Shirazu goes to talk to Goat and stuff and Kaneki's being a bitch but Haise in his brain beats him up and ta-dah Goat returns to society and slowly ghouls become actually accepted and are furnished human flesh instead of disgusting fake meat and humans don't turn to ghouls out of nowhere and Tokyo isn't destroyed and Kaneki gets therapy and when he's all better and Touka got some classes on domestic violence, then and only then does she ask him to date her. And it doesn't work out anyway but they tried.

Kaneki and Hide talk a lot and start a friendship again. Kaneki apologizes to Shuu properly. And now that the death threats have subsided, Shuu realizes he can't forgive him after all, going back to his Rose arc mentality. Kaneki tries to make amends. Suzuya suggests that he stays with him with his squad or something and at first it doesn't work well but it ends up becoming a safe place where Kaneki can heal. Touka gets together with Nishikimi and it works out a lot better than it ever would have with Kaneki.

Eto is dead dead after Cochlea btw but all the remaining half-ghouls and quinx and half-humans stick together and become one big family and Amon's their dad and Takizawa is the weird uncle. And Kurona becomes besties with Urie because I said so. Mutsuki takes a while to heal. He has sparring matches with Takizawa and Suzuya and none of them feels pain so it gets very horrible very quickly but it works out for them. Urie gets over his crush on Mutsuki as he finds more and more people to care about and rely on. Mutsuki still obsess over Haise but in a more healthy way.

And Roma didn't die since Souta's plan didn't go through. She flees to find somewhere more fun. Shiko alternates with staying with Takizawa and staying with her. No one manages to follow him to find her. No one has heard about Souta or Donato but they're actually sticking pretty close to keep an eye on things (Souta on Rize, Donato on his son). They're good at staying stealthy and somehow never get found out even when they're not even really trying anymore. Souta dies at 30 of old age and only Donato, Roma and Nico are there for him in his last moments.

Yomo's taking care of Rize but after her last trip to V's labs she never quite heals. I want to talk about other characters but my head is drawing a blank so idk I think Tomoe would do something similar as what she does in 179, but through Takizawa she meets the Quinx and doesn't exactly forgive Amon but tolerates him. Saiko loves her to bits. Talking about Saiko, her brother left their mom too and lives with the Quinx as well. Yeah it's giving 2012 Avengers Tower vibes shush

And to end this, Matsuri and Urie get married and Shirazu gets also adopted by Marude and Iwaccho and now has *counting* well. a lot of dads.

I haven't reread this and made it up as i went so i hope it's at least slightly coherent.

------

Send me a letter

[silverynight]

Family

<---Previous

Part II

Really... This is just so Tengen stops bragging about his fourth spouse and because everyone, including Shinobu, is a little bit curious about him.

They agree to pay a visit to the sound hashira and his family, but none of them plan to stay long.

"So he got himself another spouse," Sanemi rolls his eyes. "This is the most predictable thing he's ever done. I don't know why we're here. This will only make him brag about it even more..."

"You're curious too, otherwise you wouldn't be here," Giyuu mumbles, making the other hashira growl at him.

Shinobu is wondering if she should ask them to leave, but then she sees a young man outside the residence with a broom in his hands. He has long, dark red hair tied up into a ponytail and a haori with black and green squares all over it.

Then, he turns around, looks at them and smiles in a way Shinobu has never seen before; it's a bright expression, like his face is the sun and it'll blind them if they look at it for a long time. It's the most beautiful smile she's ever seen.

At her side, Mitsuri squeaks in delight and covers her now red face.

"Hi!" He grins, moving his head a little bit as he gets even closer to them, making the hanafuda earrings more noticeable with the movement. "You must be the Pillars! It's a pleasure to meet you!"

He bows respectfully in front of them. Kyojuro immediately introduces himself, but he stammers a little bit, surprising Shinobu. She's never seen the flame hashira so flustered before.

None of the others are doing any better by the way; Giyuu looks like he's mesmerized and Muichiro has never been so focused on something in all his life.

"You have a nice voice," Gyomei comments, surprising the others.

The young man with the red scar on his forehead blushes to the tip of his ears; he looks adorable.

"Thank you! I'm Uzui Tanjirou!" And with that he shatters the little bit of hope they had in their hearts. Sanemi curses under his breath. "Welcome! We're happy to have you here! Surely you must be here to see Tengen!"

"Yes, to kill him," Obanai mumbles quietly as he puts an arm over Mitsuri's shoulder to calm her down; she's doing a sad puppy face already.

Fortunately, Tanjirou doesn't get to hear that and leads them inside.

Tengen looks at them with the most smug grin they've ever seen; he takes Tanjirou in his arms before kissing him on the lips in front of them.

"We have visitors!" Tanjirou scolds him lightly as the soft skin on his cheeks turns slightly pink.

"They know you're my husband already," Tengen says with a huge smile, prompting Giyuu to look at him almost with jealousy.

Shinobu feels that particular vein pop up on her forehead and she thinks that maybe Obanai's idea wasn't that bad after all.

However, Makio, Suma and Hinatsuru walk in the room as well, with a girl that only communicates with hand gestures. They find out she's Tanjirou's younger sister and that Uzui's wives have pretty much adopted her already.

They stay for dinner because Tanjirou asks them to and apparently they can't say 'No' to him.

Shinobu is not sure why Tengen allows Giyuu and Kyojuro to sit at Tanjirou's side; either he finds amusing how both Pillars stare at his husband or he hasn't noticed how enamoured they are already.

Makio certainly has, because she's glaring at every single hashira at every opportunity she gets and is having some sort of staring contest with Sanemi.

Mitsuri is speaking about her breathing style mostly because Tanjirou seems interested and she wants him looking at her all the time.

Nezuko seems really amused by the situation, but not surprised at all; Shinobu wonders if something like that happened before, when the two of them were on their own.

For a moment she thinks there's nothing that could irritate the sound hashira about the current situation, she's sure Tengen just finds the Pillars' crush on Tanjirou amusing, but then Kyojuro starts calling him my boy.

And Tengen's eye twitches whenever that happens.

"I know you have talent, my boy!" Kyojuro assures him, eyes glimmering with excitement. "I can train you!"

"Do you really think I can do that?" Tanjirou grins.

"Of course," Giyuu nods, before Kyojuro can say anything, drawing the boy's attention back to himself. "But I think you are better suited for a water breathing technique."

Before Kyojuro starts arguing with Giyuu over Tanjirou, Tengen reaches out for the boy.

"Come sit on my lap, Tanjirou."

"But..." He blushes to the tip of his ears. "They're..."

"Let him show them, Tanjirou!" Makio grins mischievously.

"Show them what?"

"Nothing," Hinatsuru assures him. "And it's alright if you feel shy, but I think there's nothing wrong about sitting on your husband's lap."

Tanjirou finally nods and does as Tengen asked him to. The huge man takes him in his arms and secures the boy on his lap. Tanjirou's cheeks turn slightly pink again, but he quickly gets used to the new sitting arrangement.

Shinobu starts getting irritated after noticing Tengen's smug grin.

***

"So... Do you all have a crush on my husband?" Tengen asks them when they're back in the headquarters.

"I just think it's unfair," Muichiro says, looking a little bit grumpy. "You have three wives already. Maybe you should leave Tanjirou to–"

"No."

Shinobu takes a deep breath, smile still on her face as she looks back at Tengen.

"Don't be selfish!" Mitsuri pouts at him.

"Listen," Shinobu cuts in, before the others start arguing. "If you have four spouses I don't see why Tanjirou can't have a couple too."

As Kyojuro's fiery eyes start shining with hope, Tengen realizes the problem he's in.

"No. Don't you dare–"

"You wanted to brag about your new husband, didn't you?" Sanemi smirks as Tengen curses under his breath.

Shinobu is sure he regrets introducing Tanjirou to them.

***

Patreon

[matcha-bnuuy]

CHOOSE YOUR FIGHTER... (finally a character masterlist post!)

Holti Fyth: The Matcha Bnuuy himself, chaotic bastard energy but well meaning and has a good heart. Warrior of Light trying his best, loves his friends and fiancé. The first male viera to voluntarily leave the wood, he kept himself low-key using potions and glamours to appear as a miqo’te man, until ... through mishaps and losing his materials, he didn’t. But the Scions didn’t seem to mind! Being a trailblazer for viera men not just of his village, others soon followed suit, Holti being an inspirational figure becoming not only an adventurer, but a hero.

Khaitu Qestir: In another not too distant timeline, there are TWO WoLs (it’s a long story), and one of them happens to be this dear, confused silent soul. They’ll use their brainpower when they want to, but otherwise, they’re probably wandering off and putting something in their mouth they shouldn’t... Hailing from Reunion and the child of Iturgen Khan, they’re a (learning) master of magicks.

Totoko “Toto” Malaguld: Displaced from his Yangxian family at a young age, this little Raen found his way to the Steppe and a home among the Malaguld, raised as a Xaela, he’s spicier than he looks and hopes to be Khagan of the Steppe someday.

Makato Dazkar: A sweet househusband lizard who set out into the world in search of love; a wife to cherish and hold (preferably one who can break someone’s femur too...) while not so masterful on the battlefield, he’ll make you the best dinner you ever ate and is learning to heal to better keep those he cares for safe.

Atukai “Atu” Uyagir: Hailing from the Uyagir caves of the Azim Steppe, this once Gods-fearing lizard has found a new lease on life accompanying a miqo’te fugitive. What better way than getting over your fears than fighting them head on? Although he’s still learning to accept niceties from others.

Akio Torioi: Doman war refugee, this seemingly hulking brute has a heart of gold. While preferring to keep to himself, he seeks out odd jobs and those in need to lend his strength where he can. Unofficially adopted by a family of moon’qote who he loves in his own stoic, silent way.

Zuzuka “Zuzu” Taruka: Spoiled son of an Ul’dahn Monetarist, Zuzu’s had everything in his life brought to him on a silver platter, quite literally, but now falling out of favour with his father and sent away, he’s getting a rude awakening to what things are really like, including the shady business behind Ul’dah’s  glistening golden exterior.

Flosi Kisne: Lost as an infant kit and taken in by a kindly Othardian couple, Flosi grew up as a well-loved oddity in Yangxia. When the Garleans came his dear parents paid for him to start a life in Kugane, where he worked in tea and pleasure houses until he could earn enough Gil to leave the East to safer, less Garlean-ruled land. Sickly sweet when he needs, and knows how to use a knife too~

Gunnar Fyth: Raised in the same village as Holti, Gunnar is a difficult, quick tempered boy, with expectations upon himself as the Wood-Warder he never had a chance to become under his father’s harsh tutorage. Not the brightest crayon in the box, there are 2 rules with Gunnar, 1) don’t ask, and 2) the helmet never comes off. One of Holti’s 3 childhood friends who eventually tailed him out of the woods to find him.

Vani “Vanilla Cheesecake” Fyth: Holti’s nearest and dearest friend who he has known from kithood, Vani took up the City Name of “Vanilla Cheesecake” after his favourite dessert upon leaving the woods after his best friend. A learning forest-sage and sweetheart to boot, Vani is the ‘mom friend’ of the group keeping his friends safe and in good health, while also being stern with them when need be, especially Gunnar.

Doti’ra Tolitoki: Born small and sickly, Doti’ra, fifth son of Doti, was the favoured child and apple of her eye, despite being a male in a moon-tribe. He was only banished some recent months ago when his own sisters, having been jealous of him their entire lives defamed him, leaving the unskilled and unworldly Doti’ra to fend for himself when the matriarch expelled him from her doting care. Lover of poetry and finally learning to use his claws, this little purple stray has a lot to learn.

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

hi! hope the new year is going well for you so far!! could i request sfw alphabet for karube pls? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 i really appreciate that you're writing for aib!

You’re welcome! Here’s your request! 🥰

SFW Alphabet | Daikichi Karube

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

Character: Daikichi Karube

Genre: fluff

*this is based in real life, not in the Borderlands

A - Affection

(How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

I can definitely see him being quite affectionate

He gives off the vibe that his love language is quality time

He would show affection through just staying by your side

He wouldn’t even necessarily have to be touching you

When you go out for dinner with your friends, he would always make sure you’re sitting next to him

Yeah his affection would come through as just being around you

B - Best Friend

(What would they be like as a best friend?)

He would be so chaotic

There would never be a boring moment when he’s your friend

He’s definitely the loud extroverted friend, so if you’re more quiet and introverted he would like adopt you

Would be so defensive of his best friend, like no one can ever say shit that even potentially hurts your feelings otherwise they’ll take his fist to their face

He would send you countless snapchats everyday of him just doing the dumbest shit

C - Cuddles

(Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He’s a tall man, so if you’re more small then he would engulf you

Playful cuddles 24/7

Tackles you into the couch when he wants to cuddle

You don’t get a choice, no matter what you’re doing, if he wants cuddles, he’s getting them

He would love to have you sitting on his lap while he scrolls on his phone or watches tv

D - Domestic

(Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

You can’t tell me otherwise, this man is such husband material

Such loving husband vibes

He would do most of the house work when you move in together

So sweet, would always offer to clean up after dinner and help you with the dishes

Cooking wise, I really think it wouldn’t be his strong point

But he would love being your assistant in the kitchen while you cooked

E - Ending

(If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I think he would be really mature about the situation

If he had to break up with you, he would tell you straight up

It would be the healthiest break up you could possibly have

He would hate to drag you on when he didn’t feel the same way anymore

Would be upset for a few weeks, but would definitely want to stay friends with you after you’ve both recovered

F - Fiancé(e)

(How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He’d probably want to get married rather quickly

Why wouldn’t he? If he truly loves you, he’d want to give you his everything, including his future

(After seeing how he wanted to propose to the woman from the bar he worked at, even though she was already dating someone else)

Yeah, he wouldn’t rush it, but he would definitely keep it in his mind quite early into the relationship

G - Gentle

(How gentle are they, physically and emotionally?)

Gentle giant vibes

He likes to have his fun being a little bit chaotic and rough around you, but majority of the time he would be gentle, making sure you feel safe and happy around him

Emotionally, no offense, but I feel like he’d be a bit dumb

He wouldn’t know how to handle negative emotions, or you opening up to him about problems

But you would always be able to tell he was trying his hardest

Might say things that he wouldn’t mean or sometimes sound a bit insensitive, but he always has good intentions

H - Hugs

(Do they like hugs? How often would they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Hugs are his most favourite thing in the world

You would never be able to escape his hugs

Back hugs 24/7

Sometimes he would run up to you from behind and just throw himself against your back

Usually only does that if he hasn’t seen you in a while though

His hugs would last forever, he would take forever to let go of you

Tight hugs, he would squeeze you close to him so tightly, you cheek smooshed up against him

I - I Love You

(How fast do they say the L-word?)

Probably a good couple of weeks

When he does eventually say it, it has so much meaning and love behind it

He would probably say it when you’ve had a shitty day and gone over to his house to be consoled

Didn’t even realize he said it until he saw the look on your face

Would say it every day from then, whether it be in person, over the phone or over text

J - Jealousy

(How jealous do they get? What do they do when their jealous?)

I don’t think he would get jealous too often

He’s more of the protective type rather than the jealous type

He trusts that you love him and would never choose someone else over him

The only thing he would act strangely about is if you spend day after day at someone’s house

He would feel a bit neglected and lonely, but would always cheer himself up by hanging out with Alice and Chota

But if some guy was to ask you out when he was there, he wouldn’t be aggressive about it

He would probably just politely state that you’re taken

Yes, much gentleman

K - Kisses

(What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where would they like to be kissed?)

He would live for heated kisses

Like really passionate ones that you would have on a really romantic night together

But he would also adore just the small little pecks you give each other when one of you was leaving the house

He would love kissing you so much that sometimes you would have to push him off your lips just so you could breath

Aggressive kisses all the time though

L - Little Ones

(How are they around children?)

You can’t convince me otherwise, he would make the best dad in the world

Perfect husband material and father material, he’s a deluxe edition

Would love toddlers and could spend hours playing with them

Every kid loves him, there’s not one kid that’s scared of him cause he has the most friendly personality

If you have little cousins or nephews/nieces, he would never leave them alone

Definitely can see him having like 20 children

M - Morning

(How are mornings spent with them?)

Lazy mornings are the best mornings

He most likely sleeps in, unless he has to get up and go somewhere

Takes him like an hour to crawl out of bed

Yeah he wouldn’t be a morning person

You would sometimes have to jump on him to wake him up

Or drag his ass off the bed

But most of the time when you try he just sits up and drags you back into bed with him and cuddles you

He wouldn’t ever let you go, once he has you in his clutch you might as well give up

N - Night

(How are nights spent with them?)

At night I feel he would become more energetic

Some nights you would sit on the couch together and watch horror movies while drinking wine

He would go to sleep late on most nights

If you’re an early sleeper, he would kiss you goodnight then stay up on his own for a little while

But when he finally comes to bed, he would pull your against his chest and fall asleep with you tucked underneath his chin

Wouldn’t be able to sleep without touching you

If it’s too hot to cuddle, he would just hold your hand

O - Open

(When would they start revealing things about themselves?)

He seems like the kind to just be an open book

He wouldn’t have much about himself to hide, unless the topic was super personal

You would be the only person he would tell though

He would become more and more trusting as the relationship progresses

The first time he would open up to you seriously would probably be around 7 months into dating

You two would’ve sat together on a park bench on a late night, probably a bit too drunk for your own good, and Karube would’ve opened up about his personal life

I feel like Karube is the sort to hold his problems in, but they would eventually all overflow and come out after a minor inconvenience happens

That’s what would’ve caused him to share his true problems and feelings with you on that night

P - Patience

(How easily angered are they?)

He definitely has trouble managing his anger

He can sometimes get a bit physical when he’s angry

Don’t get me wrong, he would never hurt you

But if some random guy was to insult you in the street, oh no

Karube would see red

In terms of relationship arguments, he would find it really hard to stay mad at you

Would probably get more annoyed at the fact that he can’t be mad at you when he should be

He’s too sweet and too loving to his close ones to ever hurt or yell at them

If he truly was mad though, would just go on a short walk to get rid of his stress

Q - Quizzes

(How much would they remember about you?)

He would remember quite a bit I think

I mean it wouldn’t be every little detail, but he would remember important things

There would be rare occasions where he would forget one of your family members names or forget your favourite colour

But it would never matter too much and he would always just laugh it off with you

R - Remember

(What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

His favourite memory he has of you two would be a date you went on when you went to a giant arcade together late at night

He loved watching you be so amused by all the games and laugh your head off at each others jokes

You would’ve been so competitive with each other at the car racing games, yelling and having the time of your lives

Afterwards you probably went and got ice-cream together and sat at the beach underneath the moon

Karube would love this memory because he would always treasure the amount of fun you both had and the constant smile on your face that was caused by him

S - Security

(How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Oooooo boy. Even if someone breathed at you wrong this man would have a go at them

Big strong man coming to protect you

He’s like a barrier, like if someone kind of dodgy tried to talk to you, yeah not today fam unless you want to crack a punch over the noggin’

If you two were walking in an area that seemed kind of sketchy, Karube would pull you so close to him you would practically be on top of him

He wouldn’t ever be afraid to put himself in between what’s potentially going to hurt you/his family, no matter the situation

Although sometimes you do get worried that someone might hurt him really bad one day, but until then Karube will remain as stubborn as he is

T - Try

(How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Would put so much effort into things it would be ridiculous

Definitely plans anniversary dates like a month before they even happen

Always buys super expensive gifts for you, like jewelry and designer clothing

Likes spoiling his baby a lot

On anniversaries, he would bring you to a fancy restaurant and have a really romantic dinner with you

Then bring you to a club and spend the rest of the night dancing to funky music together

U - Ugly

(What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

I feel like he would forget to clean things up sometimes

I mean he wouldn’t be unbearable messy, but he would just leave the occasional bowl or drinking glass where it shouldn’t go

Maybe a few piles of unwashed clothes here and there

But if you asked him to clean, he wouldn’t argue and would just do it

He would hate doing the laundry, probably would be the only house chore he’d truly despise

V - Vanity

(How concerned are they about their looks?)

Not that concerned

It doesn’t matter that much to him what he looks like

But he would always keep his beard/mustache short

His style of clothing would be pretty much the same every day

If you and him were going out on a casual date though, he would try to touch himself up

Maybe some gel in his hair and a nice jacket to go with his outfit, but nothing too out there

W - Whole

(Would they feel incomplete without you?)

You would probably be his safe space where he can project his daily worries onto

He would feel quite lost without you, because he bottles things up

And not having you around to look after him while he’s emotionally vulnerable would make him really stressed and upset

His negative emotions come out in anger, so he would become a bit scary if he doesn’t share his feelings enough

You would make him feel more grounded and more stable

X - Xtra

(A random headcanon for them.)

I have a feeling he would use really cheesy pickup lines with you

Even after you would’ve been dating for years, he’d still come up with ones he’s never said before

At the most random of times as well

One time he poked his head in while you were in the shower just to tell you a pick up line

It would be such a weird quirk of his, but you would adore it and his stupid pick up lines anyway

Y - Yuck

(What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He has a thing about cockroaches

Never would he ever touch one, no matter how badly you had to get rid of it

He would be able to take care of spiders, wasps, moths, but cockroaches was where he drew the line

If he saw one, would probably be super over dramatic and spray a shit ton of bug spray on it

In terms of in a partner, he would never be able to be with someone who spent most of their time indoors

He understands that the serenity of home is super comforting, but he would rather be out having fun than staying at home all day

Z - Zzz

(What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He takes up 80% the bed

Spreads out like a starfish, more than often almost pushing you off

You wouldn’t know if he did it consciously or not, but it would become so annoying if it was distracting you from sleeping

Sometimes you would sit up and just lay across him as use him as a mattress

As he sure seems to fit the space of one

SFW Alphabet Template

[variousqueerthings]

Tom Hardy Movies rated least to most queer

I made a list of some Tom Hardy movies and I rated them based on my own, non-specific criteria about what makes a movie queer. Results below the cut.

(Some films not included, because I haven’t watched them yet, because Mr Hardy’s only in them for a few minutes, because the subject matter doesn’t lend itself to this list, or because I just don’t want’em here. TV series also not included. The list is organised into both groups and ratings, because I’m doing The Most.)

Movies are divided into four groups and rated from 0 – 10 on the Queer-Scale, scroll down to the bottom if you want the ratings without the commentary.

Disclaimer: This list is subjective. Don’t come at me because I didn’t rate Inception higher, Nolan himself is as queer as cargo shorts. 

1. This movie would make more sense if it were queer

If this movie were queer it… might not become a perfect film all of a sudden, but it’d make a hell of a lot more sense than what’s actually going on. With an occasional dose of “are the cis-straights okay?”

This Means War (2012): So Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are ostensibly both in love with Reese Witherspoon, but say “I love you” to each other pretty much constantly throughout the movie and their friendship is often presented as a domestic partnership. Cool, cool, cooool.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10. This movie hate-crimed me by having Tom Hardy literally spell out his relationship with Chris Pine, only for the script to then have him say… “can you imagine all that… but with a woman…” Later on the movie explicitly denies polyamory is possible. Fuck this film.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012): Batman movies should always be queer. Mr. Hardy’s the only one who acceptably camps it up, despite Nolan’s best attempts to make him “acceptably gruff.” No matter what you do, Bane is a massive daddy in a mask and thanks to Mr Hardy’s honestly iconic fucking speech pattern in this film, it goes from pretty atrociously straight to just queer enough to imagine a future where Robert Pattinson plays batman and maybe adopts a bunch of kids.

(the only truly decent mask in this franchise tbh)

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. Mr Hardy’s back is the one that’s actually broken carrying any semblance of fun in this overly long movie all on his own.

Lawless (2012): Wow, this really was the year of the not-queer-enough, wasn’t it? Look, it’s “based on a real story,” but it’s also a movie and movies don’t need to stick to the truth, and this one certainly doesn’t. Was the guy queer in real life? I don’t know. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is that it’s just kind of an eh movie and maybe being queer would add something to it. One of those “but why make someone queer? because it’s always more interesting to do so,” movies.

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. It’s just not queer. But Tom Hardy wears cardigans and described his character as a “mother figure,” which adds an interesting dynamic to him.

2. Actually Queer but in a homophobic way

Tom Hardy plays a canonically queer character, yaaay. The whole movie contains a strange sense of the director being too not-queer to actually engage with that and everything around him is almost aggressively straight, noooo.

RocknRolla (2008): Honestly this movie has the funniest coming out scene ever + that familiar undertone of “all these manly men secretly want to fuck each other” is only heightened by one of them actually being gay and in love with his best friend. It’s such a fucking… it’s such a movie. Personally I find Mark Strong, Idris Elba, Thandie Newton, and, of course, Tom Hardy to be really hot in it, so that’s a plus. There’s a scene in which Strong’s character teaches another gangster how to do a proper backhand. It’s really gay of him. Also slow-dancing at a gay club. Butler’s character needs to get himself together, you really don’t think 2008 Tom Hardy is hot? Mate.

(left to right: functional queer, disaster queer, distinguished queer)

Queer Rating: 6 out of 10, for having an actual gay character who is played by Tom Hardy doing a sexy phonecall voice to another guy, but then there’s that feeling you can’t shake that the whole movie is vaguely uncomfortable about it, like a family member awkwardly patting you on the shoulder after they found out you were queer second-hand, but they’ve still got 50 years of bias to unlearn. Also Thandie Newton is killed, fuck that noise. 

Legend (2015): If I had a nickle for the amount of times Tom Hardy’s played a gay gangster, I’d have two nickles. Which isn’t a lot, but weird that it happened twice (looks at Peaky Blinders and thinks it ought to be three times). I’ve watched Legend three times and every time it just… loses me. And because this is a biased list, I’ll only specifically mention that it fails to make Ron’s queerness anything but a way for him to shock others. Gangsters could be gay? Gasp! On the upside Tom Hardy has so much sexual tension with everyone in this movie, including himself (why would you do that? Asks Ron, bemused. Because I can’t kill you, no matter how much I fucking want to, hisses a blood-soaked Reggie right into his ear. It’s hot).

Queer rating: 5 out of 10 because the film is just not very queer for a movie with several queer men in it.

3. Straight as a forced family dinner

It’s straight.

Locke (2013): He’s a married man who had an affair and trying to deal with the fallout of it. This isn’t a spoiler for most of the movie, it’s a pretty neat movie where we look at Tom Hardy having a bit of a mental breakdown and taking lots of phonecalls (my personal hell). Is it queer? Not in the slightest.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10 for Hardy’s face being in almost every shot.

The Revenant (2015): Yeah, yeah, DeCaprio’s and Hardy’s characters are obsessed with each other, yeah it’s a man’s world where the only women are dead wife, kidnapped sexually assaulted native princess, or background whore, yeah, they fight each other and there’s a ton of grunting, but also… I just fucking don’t like this movie. The thin line where a storyline like this one becomes queer might be crossed for others, but not for me. Fuck these guys and their stupid  bear fights.

Queer rating: 3 out of 10 for it being about dirty men in the middle of nowhere (but you could just watch Brokeback Mountain or The Lighthouse or God’s Own Country or any Mad Max, or, or, or…)

4. Queer? Queer. Queer? … Queer…

The plots, aesthetics and/or characters played by Tom Hardy lend themselves to a queer reading, even if there is no overt intention towards queerness. Often this is because of a deliberate lack of heterosexual and/or cisgender writing, which in this day and age is still pretty uncommon not to include within a plot.

Inception (2010): Okay, I don’t even need to write about the added “darling,” or the “go to sleep Mr Eames.” I don’t need to go on about the absolutely bonkers amount of fanfiction written for Eames and Arthur, based on a few minutes of film and a boatload of chemistry. It’s queer.

Queer Rating: 7 out of 10, because the actual plot of the film isn’t very queer, but between the Arthur/Eames dynamic and Elliot Page, Nolan was really given a gift he didn’t deserve.

Warrior (2011): Okay, so first off, this might be my favourite Tom Hardy film, at least some part of my brain is fixated on it at almost all times and I’m considering watching it for the third time in two weeks. I don’t only consider it queer based on Mr. Hardy’s character, although he has no romantic or sexual interest and could be read as aroace, but because of the themes, especially those surrounding said character, who is coded as a caregiver to women and through close emotional connections to men. It’s got possibly unintentional deconstructions of masculinity and two men (brothers) who need to forgive each other and can only do so through the catharsis of violence. It speaks to me as a transmasc with several cis brothers, struggling with my own masculinity. It’s not at all written for me, but I find myself all over it. I could talk about this movie forever.

Queer Rating: 8 out of 10. I’m not allowed to say any more or I’ll never stop writing about it. I love you Tommy…

The Drop (2014): Bob’s lack of sexual and/or romantic interest in Naomi is so strange to her that she doesn’t know what he would want from her otherwise. Bob really just wants to raise a dog with her (and also forgiveness for past sins). Bob is such a rare ace and possibly aro coded character, it really throws me every time I watch this film how obvious it is. Bonus points for also being autistic-coded and not in the stereotypical ways.

(Tom Hardy’s most challenging role: pretending he doesn’t know dogs)

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10 because it’s so fucking rare to see ace and aro coded characters that aren’t, you know…. serial killers. Also Tom Hardy adopts a puppy and has a very cute, kinda lispy voice. How often does Tom Hardy play softer men like this?

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015): Very deliberately no sexual or romantic writing included in Max’s and Furiosa’s relationship. Sure, there’s not a lot of time for that in the post-apocalyptic wasteland, but it was also done with a purpose! “It was always going to be two warriors on par, starting off with very little respect for each other and ending up with a massive respect for each other.” - Charlize Theron. “So of course they meet, of course there’s a relationship, an unspoken understanding. A recognition.” - Tom Hardy.

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10. It’s not just the characters, but the world and it’s apocalyptic BDSM leather scene, the questions it asks about sustainability and about people as tools, and the found family. It’s about overcoming violence through multiple kinds of love. And it’s about watching a guy playing flame-thrower guitar. What could be queerer?

Venom (2018): Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same… No, but Eddie is queer. The only question is whether the sequel will acknowledge that aspect or not, but even if not. Even if it manages to straightly bypass the reality of a symbiotic relationship with a genderless? genderfluid? being from another world that is linked to you down to your very cells and understands you more intimately than any other person possibly could… even if all that: Eddie is queer. Venom and Eddie are in a relationship. Any relationship Eddie ever enters into will automatically become a thrupple. He makes out with Venom in the movie! Eddie is queer.

(aw yeah that tongue is going down his throat)

Queer Rating: 9.5 out of 10, because it’s still coded by the creators in the language of bromance (hey, bro, is it gay if we’re physically and emotionally closer than any other people on earth?), but the movie is so, so camp and Mr Hardy’s acting choices are beautiful – the screaming? The lispy soft voice and lack of taking up space? The lobster tank? The only people who don’t know how queer this is are the people making it apparently. Fingers crossed for that sequel!

Hon. mentions:

Star Trek: Nemesis (2002): Star Trek – even at it’s worst (especially at its worst?) – is camp af + Hardy is a straight-up baby in this film.

Bronson (2008): It’s about a real person who’s still alive, so I won’t comment on the actual man. However the film seems to code the character Bronson along an ace line and also has genderqueering Vaudeville. Someone let Tom Hardy do more of whatever was going on in those stage-bits.

(this right here: this the good shit)

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011): Another ensemble piece not massively about Hardy’s character, but it’s a movie that centers around queerness in a strange, depressing way. Tom Hardy’s character isn’t queer. Colin Firth and Mark Strong are though. The book makes me cry.

Peaky Blinders (2013-): Because it’s a TV series I left it out. There’s a lot of straight nonsense going on there, but Alfie Solomens is gay. There’s nothing in the series that disputes that and plenty that lends itself to the reading.

Dunkirk (2017): Tom Hardy plays an RAF pilot in a deep emotional connection with the other main RAF pilot. That’s immediately gay. However he’s not in the movie much because of the way it’s constructed, so I left it off.

Queer Ratings (least to most)

No queer to be found here traveller:

This Means War: 2 out of 10 - illegal movie, Tom Hardy swore he wouldn’t do another rom-com after

Locke: 2 out of 10 - straight Welshman and his straight problems. He pretty though

Lawless: 3 out of 10 - cardigan-Hardy being a mother-hen, but very straight for all that

The Dark Knight Rises: 3 out of 10 - a superhero movie that doesn’t deserve Mr Hardy’s camp talents (unlike Venom)

The Revenant: 3 out of 10 - doesn’t give me what I want out of a movie full of dirty, bearded men

Queer but we deserve more:

Legend: 5 out of 10 - timid homosexuality, considering the source material. 

RocknRolla: 6 out of 10 - hey bro, is it gay if we kill the only female lead in our massive ensemble cast

The queerest of Hardy’s:

Inception: 7 out of 10 - Elliot Page and JGL kissing was an all-around terrible choice that made no sense, we know the truth, Nolan

Warrior: 8 out of 10 - I’m still crying, Edgerton’s crying, Hardy’s crying, we’re all crying, and I think that’s really emotionally healthy and queer of us

Mad Max: Fury Road: 9 out of 10 - non-romantic love in the time of BDSM post-apocalyptic wastelands is something that can actually be so personal

The Drop: 9 out of 10 - “Fucking punk. Go out to dinner dressed like you're still in you living room! You wear those big hippity-hoppity clown shoes! You speak to women terribly! You treat them despicably! You hurt harmless dogs that can't defend themselves! I'm tired of you man. I'm tired of you. You embarrass me!”

Venom: 9.5 out of 10 - Sometimes a relationship is an anxious reporter, the sentient goo inhabiting his body, his kinda-ex-girlfriend and her new doctor boyfriend, and I think that’s beautiful

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 11 first part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Goodness)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Okay! This episode is a real slice of healthy family dynamics, not triggering in any way. [Uh if this is your first Restless Rewatch: that is sarcasm, dear readers]

Goodbye to You, Goodbye to Everything We Knew

Nie Huaisang asks why Meng Yao has to leave and Meng Yao says "I killed a guy without permission, so your brother fired me." 

Ha ha ha ha no he doesn't. But he does give Nie Huaisang a sweet, sad smile; he seems touched by NHS's distress. 

Meng Yao carefully removes Nie Huaisang's hands from his shoulders and bows to him, wordlessly signaling the change in their relationship from intimate friends to formal strangers, while Nie Huaisang looks crushed. 

They will return to intimate friendship in the future, but falsely. Meng Yao believes that truly loving a person can include destroying their family and using them as an instrument in your murder plots as long as you don't directly harm them.  Nie Huaisang eventually learns to use people just as brutally, but he doesn't lie to himself about what he's doing. This farewell may be the last harmless moment between these friends. 

Jiang Cheng is distressed by what's going on, while Wei Wuxian crosses his arms and watches, fully in Sherlock Holmes mode, instead of his more usual concerned-for-my-friend mode. This may signal mistrust of Meng Yao, who refused his initial attempt at friendship, and not in a sexy, slice-your-face-off way.  Or it may mean that he's reserving judgement on a complicated family situation. He maintains his uncharacteristic reserve through the entire encounter. 

(more behind the cut!)

Nie Huaisang runs in and asks his brother WTF happened. Nie Mingjue says "he killed my subordinate without permission, when he knows perfectly well power must flow from the ruler; it's like he didn't even read that Foucault book I gave him."

Ha ha ha actually he just yells at his brother, as if NHS doesn’t have his own relationship with Meng Yao after being wonder twink powers with him for probably a couple of years now. NHS has to sit and process his loss and confusion in silence.

As a younger sibling who would make friends with my older siblings' girlfriends and then lose those friends if they broke up, for reasons having nothing to do with why I liked their girlfriends, I super feel Nie Huaisang's pain here.

OTOH, older siblings are entitled to have break ups and not explain themselves to anyone besides their lover because that's the nature of intimacy. The moral is, uhh...don't have a family curse that makes you unreasonably angry. 

Jiang Cheng steps up to advocate for Meng Yao, because Meng Yao is injured, and because Jiang Cheng is actually a born leader who knows better than to throw away a useful subordinate. For example, even when Wei Wuxian is at his drunkest and most defiant, Jiang Cheng tries to reform him, not kick him out, only drawing the line at having unpopular zombie friends.

Wei Wuxian continues to keep his mouth shut, waiting for Nie Mingjue to calm down, and speaking only about the tactical situation. He clearly knows there's more to this story but he's pretty good at keeping his head down in a family ruckus, and we're about to learn why.

Yunmeng Town

The Yunmeng bros go home to Lotus Pier, where they are greeted in town with bows, smiles, and free stuff.

We've mostly been seeing them in their roles within the cultivation community, where Jiang Cheng is grumpy and anxious, and Wei Wuxian is sassy and iconoclastic. Here among common people, they are both charming, friendly, and polite, like the imaginary good kind of gentry.

They hear the news from a local lotus seller that the small clans are coming to the Jiang Clan for shelter, but that otherwise everything's ok, which doesn't sound like everything is ok at all. He gives Wei Wuxian a giant bag of lotuses for his sister to make soup from.

Home to Lotus Pier

All the disciples practicing in the courtyard at Lotus Pier are excited to see them, and one girl goes running to tell Jiang Yanli. Thanks to the admittedly beautiful design of Lotus Pier, she is running for a long time.

A long, long time. Getting around on all these insane walkways must be a real drag if you're not the flying sort of cultivator.

Discipline and Punish

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian immediately go and kneel while they wait for their official punishment. Jiang Cheng is kinda worried about the punishment and Wei Wuxian is like, I'm good at being punished, just let me do it. 

Much later, and for a really long fucking time

He also tries to get Jiang Cheng to stop being mad, even giving him skritches while he says they should be brothers after they die.

Which they will, as it happens, although Jiang Cheng after the Wen torture is only mostly golden-core dead, while WWX dies for real.

When Jiang Fengmian shows up Jiang Cheng starts to explain that they were with Lan Wangji, but Wei Wuxian hushes him; he is still keeping the secret of the Yin Iron. Although he's keeping it in exactly the manner that a teenager keeps their weed stash secret: immediately tell literally every teen friend about it, but keep it extra secret from everybody's parents. 

Happy Families Are All Alike

Now we get to meet Yu Ziyuan, who is generally styled Madame Yu but who I'm going to call by her name just as if she was a male character. More on that concept in a minute. She rolls up looking, smelling, feeling like a million yuan, with her two murder bitches in tow.

Her marriage is an unhappy one, and her husband does his best to avoid her and avoid conflict, lying to the kids that she's tired and then sending her away later with the same line about being tired, which is a particularly gendered kind of gaslighting. She is obviously not tired, other than being tired of Jiang Fengmian's shit.

I'm not going to say she's the worst mother ever, because parenthood in a feudal society entails a wide range of skills, many of which she has in abundance. She starts off with a relatively tender greeting to Jiang Cheng, tuning up his always-amazing sartorial style, which is exactly like her own. They are all ready for the mommy & me fashion show.

That said, she dishes out hellacious verbal abuse to everyone in her family. She targets each one in turn, making Wei Wuxian the focus of most of her ire, but without ever directly speaking to him. He is not, in her view, part of her family. 

The Stages of Family Dinner

1. Try to fix it and defuse the situation

2. Yeah no

3. Just keep your head down and be glad it’s not your turn in the hot seat

This family meal hammers home how much Wei Wuxian is not, actually, part of the family. Jiang Fengmian adopted him into the clan, and told A-Cheng and A-Yi to treat him as a sibling, but he didn't give him the Jiang name, and he didn't get his wife's approval. He also doesn’t expect him to dress like any other clan member, apparently. 

Compare this to how Lan Wangji, actual good parent, fully integrates his own adopted son into his clan and family, starting with giving him the Lan surname.  

The hits just keep coming as she goes after Jiang Cheng for being less gifted than Wei Wuxian, Yanli for performing labor for Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Fengmian for possibly begetting Wei Wuxian.

On first watching this scene I took her question "Is this how you raise someone else's son?" to mean that she thought Jiang Fengmian was being too nice to a kid who was actually an outsider, taking resources away from the real kids. But on rewatching, it's pretty clear that she's saying his favoring Wei Wuxian is evidence that Wei Wuxian is NOT someone else's son; that he's Jiang Fengmian's bastard. 

Jiang Fengmian doesn't say a thing to this, or to her mentioning WWX’s mother. This shit is why WWX is running around in the world desperate for any crumb of info he can get about his Mom; he hears about her all the goddamn time at home, but only as insults to her character.  

A Bitch is Not Wrong

Here's the thing, though; a lot of what Yu Ziyuan says is correct. 

Jiang Fengmian should be a lot more concerned about the danger to the children, and should not leave it up to the kids to decide who's going to bear that danger.

Yanli does a lot of food=love, which is ok in the right doses, but causes her to pretty extremely lose face during the whole "soup for Jin Zixuan" debacle. And her doting on Wei Wuxian is...kinda excessive. I mean, yeah, she’s more like a mom than a sister to him, but still. Running out onto an active battlefield to look for him, frex, will be a skosh too much. 

I have a dictionary too, mom

Jiang Cheng, as the future clan leader, shouldn't let his attachments affect his decision making, and should let Wei Wuxian, who's the superior cultivator, fend for himself more often. We love Jiang Cheng for those moments where he puts himself in harm's way to protect his loved ones, but it's not a good strategy. He constantly yells at Wei Wuxian for the exact same thing he does all the time himself; he just limits who he does it for.

After she roasts the shit out of everyone for these failings, she leaves, and everyone sits around being miserable and not talking about what just happened. 

Not to be gender studies-y on main but: the awful things she says to her children are really not very different from the things that Jiang Cheng says to Jin Ling, although her targeting is more adept. JC also says a lot of mean things to WWX when he’s angry. When a man says cruel or insulting things, it's often presented as real love hidden under a rough exterior. When a woman does it, she's a monster.

If you enjoy this sort of interaction you should definitely have a look at Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf and the plays of Eugene O'Neill.

Road Runner

Oh thank god, moving on

Lan Wangji is headed back to Cloud Recesses, and gets ambushed by the roadside with the most ridiculous trap this side of Wile E. Coyote.

Wen Chao thinks the "rug over a hole" trap is a good idea for someone who can literally fly.

Lan Wangji doesn't faff about with sword riding, he just fucking goes up in the air and stays there until he is good goddamn ready to come down. A hole in the sidewalk is really not going to be a problem for him. 

Wen Zhuliu does get in one kick before Lan Wanji yeets backwards away from him, in a moment that's scarier on rewatching, now that I know what Wen Zhuliu is capable of.

Wen Chao talks some smack to Lan Wangji, hilariously complaining about "your patronizing tone" to a man who has literally never spoken a word to him, IIRC, and certainly isn't speaking now. Maybe it's a mistranslation and should be "attitude," or maybe Wen Chao is just that dumb.

Apparently Wei Wuxian made a stack of talismans for Lan Wangji to take on the road with him. This talisman is a twin to the one Lan Wangji brings out way, way later in Yunping, when Wei Wuxian says "you even have kept it until now." Missing scene alert! What else did he make for him?

In Yunping this talisman is used to distract some random harmless street bullies. Here it is used against a seven-man murder squad.

This works.

Assault on Cloud Recesses

Forgettable disciple #1, Su She, comes rushing in to tell Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen that Cloud Recesses is under attack.

I'm pretty sure these dudes already know it, because they are meditating extra hard with a buttload of incense, and Lan Qiren is about to cough up some blood. So I think they're trying to hold the ward, rather than just, like, chilling while their disciples get stabbed.

Cloud Recesses is super on fire, you guys; it's going to totally burn to the ground; look at that conflagration, oh the humanity, etc.

Lan Qiren Rises to the Occasion

Ok, I like to rag on Failmaster Qiren and he is definitely an authoritarian dick a whole lot of the time, but in this scene he is fucking amazing.

He starts off worrying about Lan Wangji, not just out of affection but out of strategic planning, probably in equal parts. All three of these Lans take their clan responsibilities extremely seriously.

Then he calmly assesses the situation while imperturbable Lan Xichen freaks the fuck out. 

Lan Xichen is right to be alarmed, because he knows his uncle, he knows one of them is likely to die, and he knows that Lan Qiren will choose to take the hit.

I love, love, love Lan Qiren's physicality here; how centered and assured he is, as he holds his nephew steady and explains what is required of both of them.

Lan Xichen knows Lan Qiren is right. He is utterly fucking devastated, and all he can do to show his love...

...is to obey. 

This whole scene just. kills me.

Su She and forgettable disciple #2 are in the room for this whole conversation, and they join Lan Xichen in this deep bow. Note: I will be reminding everyone of this fact in Part 2.

Whew. This episode is a LOT. Part 2 Coming Soon!

Writing Prompt: What other goodies did Wei Wuxian put in Lan Wangji's care package before Lan Wangji hit the road without saying goodbye?

Soundtrack: 1. Michelle Branch, Goodbye to You 2. Ludacris, Stand Up

[bella-caecilia]

Silver 😍

Thank you for the prompt! I tried to include as many symbols as possible but I chose object of all desires as the main theme. It turned fluffier than I intended (maybe too fluffy but… meh idc) and for all the suckers for angst out there, angsty drabbles will come as well 😉 This drabble is set somewhere in series 1.

Silver – Object of all Desires

The remaining hours and minutes of the day trickled by as the family spent the moments after dinner in the drawing room together. Today it was just Robert, Cora, and the girls. That didn’t mean there was more peace in the room than with Mama and Mrs Crawley present because Mary and Edith managed to perform arguments nearly as full of blows as the elder ladies.

Robert leaned his weight more fully against the mantelpiece. With his right hand, he swirled the amber liquid in his tumbler. His eyes only shortly locked with the lulling warm colour of his drink before they sought the enchanting vision across the room again. Cora sat calmly on the edge of a settee, her shoulders and back portraying a straight posture with seemingly effortless grace. Her soft gaze wandered through the room, her expression relaxed, unbothered by the hostile jabs between her daughters. For a moment it seemed to Robert as if Cora didn’t belong in the setting around her. Her sparkling gown reflected the lights from the chandeliers and highlighted her porcelain taint. Her mind was far away, her expression one of tranquil absence. Only her celestial appearance was placed in the room.

Her gaze went to the dark windows. With something like longing, she observed the dark gardens, bathed in the light of the waxing moon. Robert could easily picture how she wandered the grounds in her thoughts as an attempt to escape the disharmonic family evening. He did not begrudge her. Robert knew that Cora’s thoughts were always with her daughters, lately even more so. It occupied her – as it probably should – to ensure them a promising future, to find them cordial matches. But it wasn’t easy he knew, and Cora took this task very serious, in a different way, though, than Mama had done. Cora’s commitment was not mainly based on the obligation to secure the family’s decency (as was Mama’s main driving force) but on a simple power that stood behind nearly all her actions, and it was love. Simply love. Robert had needed a while to understand that her pure kind of love was a heaven-sent gift, not something foreign and improper. It was an unbelievable strength that he wouldn’t underestimate this easily again. But Cora’s love toward all people made matchmaking for their daughters a very absorbing task for her. To see her being able to tune out for a change was reassuring for Robert. She needed that pause once in a while.

“I think everyone might look for something else,” Sybil’s voice reached his ears. “It isn’t wrong if Mary wants something else from marriage than you, Edith,” she tried mediating her sisters’ argument.

Edith turned her face away but Robert could see her annoyed and resigned expression. She wasn’t entirely defeated but it was Edith’s way of miffed and hurt resilience that wasn’t particularly nice to witness. Somehow, it made people look away.

“I think I’ve had enough straining company today,” Mary declared. Her straight shoulders and slightly snobbish look build a tight wall like a Mary-own armour around her. She smoothed her skirts as she got up from the sofa and turned to Cora to nod at her, bidding her good night, but Cora was distracted. Distracted by the tranquillity of the night outside.

“Good night, Mama,” Mary said. Cora’s head turned around slowly, and it took a moment until a soft smile appeared on her features after her daughter’s words had sunken in.

“Good night, my dear.”

Sybil’s look sought Edith who still sat huffily in the corner of the settee.

“Well,” Sybil looked between the three remaining possible conversation partners. Apparently, all not very promising prospects. “I think I’ll call it a night too,” she concluded. “What about you, Edith?”

Edith got up without words, and the girls left the room one after the other.

“Good night!” Robert called after them and sat down his glass on the cold mantelpiece.

When the sound of the departing steps of three pairs of ladies’ heels was swallowed by the closing door, Cora rose from the settee and went to the high windows. She was seeking the direct light of the moon as if she was pulled there by a string. Robert followed her slowly because she exerted the same force on him as the moon did on her. Cora mesmerised him. Somehow, this night in particular. He felt a little silly that he couldn’t take his eyes off his wife. He knew her by heart. How could there be something that he hadn’t seen until now? But here she was, wandering in front of him wordlessly from window to window, in and out of the silvery light, and every time the moon illuminated her again it highlighted another part of her. Once it was the gentle slope of her nose, another time it was the fine hair in the back of her neck. And always, the light was captured and reflected by her glittery gown. Robert wouldn’t have said it was a silver gown when Cora had come down for dinner wearing this dress but it certainly was silver now. He couldn’t even tell if she had worn it already some time, and he wouldn’t even have said that it was a particularly pretty gown. An ideal dress for a simple dinner with family. But in the moonlight, it was transformed, and it shone, and it flowed around Cora’s curves nicely, and it lured him into Cora’s immediate vicinity.

When Cora halted and turned a little, Robert’s thoughts returned to reality, at least a little. He now saw where Cora had guided them. He didn’t know if it was her intention to bring him here as well, maybe she was still as absentminded as he was until now. She stood in front of the double-doored floor level windows that served as an exit to the gardens. Only slowly Cora’s hand found its way onto the brass door handle where it rested for a moment.

“Let’s go outside for a moment,” Robert proposed in a soft tone.

Cora turned to him, ripped from her thoughts. The look on her face showed that it hadn’t been her real intention to leave the house. She really had just been dreaming, wandering in the garden in her mind, just as Robert pictured her doing it several minutes ago.

The surprised look on her face turned into a gleaming smile. The corner of her mouth only twitched ever so slightly but the brimming of her eyes held all the more joy.

“Would you really like to?” Cora asked quietly. She provided him with an inquisitive look. She knew very well that Robert wasn’t up to adventures in the evening when they weren’t up in her room already. Nightly strolls through dark rooms or moonlit gardens were usually put off as hokum by him when it came up as a rare suggestion from her. Going out into the gardens was something they had done on long ball nights when they had been exhausted from all the social interactions and the dancing, and when they sought some time alone. Going out when they were at home was something Robert saw no sense in. ‘We could very well just go upstairs if we want to be alone, Cora,’ he had argued. And enjoying the outdoors, as had been her next argument, could be much better done by daylight, he had said.

So, Cora was all the more astonished when Robert answered without as much hesitation, “Of course, I’d like to.”

He reached out his arm and put his hand on hers on the door handle. Gently he pressed onto the back of her slender hand. Robert could watch Cora hold her breath while he slowly moved their hands to turn the handle and open the door. Her eyes didn’t leave his and her body was tensed in anticipation. At this moment Robert got the thrill of taking night walks. Maybe it was the intense presence of the nearly full moon that bathed everything in a supernal way, maybe it was Cora’s very own radiance. Robert enjoyed it one way or the other.

A fresh breeze met them when the crack of the door grew wider.

“It’s a beautiful night,” Cora whispered as she half-stepped outside with her covered hand still on the handle. Robert followed close behind her.

“It sure is,” he breathed into her ear, being close behind her back. He only shortly saw the silvery leaves of the box hedges in front of them when his gaze was pulled to the bobbing fine curls in the back of her neck. They had adopted a light silver sheen as well. The finest of hairs even seemed to have shining transparency, as if the light of the moon had sucked all its chocolate colour from it and had furnished it with its magical silver essence.

Cora walked into the gardens and her treads got lighter with every single step into the shiny coated green. But as soon as Robert lost her contact, because her hand slipped so easily from his, his heartbeat climbed and the gentle wind made him freeze and shiver. He hurried to follow her. She seemed determined to keep walking but her wandering look revealed that she had no specific plan.

With quick strides, Robert caught up to her. “Give me your hand, Cora,” he said in a hushed voice. He didn’t dare to speak in a louder tone. It seemed unbefitting for the bewitched situation. Cora looked at him over her shoulder, and her hand found his waiting one assuredly. Her soft grin was warm despite the cold light and it seemed to transport gratitude she had when it came to him initiating a display of affection. Whenever he showed his softer side, Cora was grateful, and Robert thought she shouldn’t have to be. She deserved all the affection and loving in the world. She should never think otherwise. Her conscious gratitude showed that it wasn’t self-evident. He squeezed her hand to ban any uncertainty at least for this moment. He hoped he would be able to continue being worthy for her overflowing love and, God, her radiant, seraphic self.

Cora pulled him through hedges here and onto tight paths there, and then they reached a tiny pond. It was a pond Robert regularly forgot existed. It wasn’t exactly spectacular. Only one single fish of the prior population the gardener had placed there had survived. It was a plump and ponderous companion. Its greenish-grey scales seemed dull at day. Now Cora approached the small body of water until her shins touched the edge of the pond so that she could kneel on it if she wanted to.

“Look at him, Robert,” she whispered. They were silent for a while. Only the gentle sounds of the wind caressed their ears. “That is his hour. It’s his time to shine.” She pointed to the fish as if he was a long-known fellow, as if she knew him. And the fish really shone. Like a magical creature, it made its sluggish rounds in the circular pond. It reflected the shimmering light at least as much as the slightly moved surface of the cold water. It was impressive but it was not for long Robert’s focus.

“No,” he replied lowly. “It’s yours. Your time to shine. You’re radiant, Cora.”

“Robert,” she breathed. Her eyes flickered over his face. Her cheeks darkened a little, as much as Robert could tell. “Something has gotten into you tonight.”

“I blame it on you.” His thumb caressed the back of her hand. “You’re charming me tonight with your spell.”

Cora chuckled. She shook her head in adoration. “I hope it isn’t only for tonight,” she teased.

“No, it’s not,” he said, and his free hand encircled her waist. “This spell has been over me for a very long time you have to know,” he explained.

“I see,” she nodded conspiratorially. One of her hands came to rest on the row of buttons on his upper chest. “If Carson gave you something special for a drink tonight, I’ll ask him to do it more often in the future.” Cora tipped her head to the side, and Robert could watch the long expanse of her neck exposed to the smooth light. Slowly he moved his head forward.

“That won’t be necessary. I have no doubt I’ll stay intoxicated long enough…” he whispered against the sensitive skin of her neck. His lips slowly descended onto the warm skin. He gave it a very light kiss before he exerted the ever so gentle suck on her skin. “… if you allow me to drink the alluring scent of your skin, my darling.” Cora sighed and closed her eyes. This was answer enough for Robert. He buried his face in the crook of her neck. He started planting a few kisses there but soon he found himself just breathing in her sweet warmth. Their joined hands were pressed between their bodies, Cora’s other hand hold onto Robert’s dress shirt and her head rested against his temple. The couple took their time relishing their nearness. And Robert didn’t exactly feel like doing more. Not out here in the light of the observant celestial body above them. In the warmth of her room, Robert could show Cora more of his affection, other aspects of it. But now their close embrace was enough.

A low splash reminded them of the presence of the fish and of their surroundings.

“I don’t want it to be over,” Cora whispered as quietly as the wind. Robert could only catch her words because his head was just beside her lips.

“Shh,” he tried to soothe her.

Even if this moment of pure magic was momentary – it had been their young years that had consisted of so much of this magic – and if tomorrow the daily life with its struggles and triviality would return, this moment right now would be relished fully. Robert felt that it wasn’t a temporary glare, it was real magic. He just had to look at Cora to know.