#to how the Toymaker treats his toys

[yourbuerokrat2]

Okay but I really love the thought of Q introducing Picard to the Toymaker.

The Toymaker: Oh, I see that you have brought your favorite toy with you.

Q: Oh no, this is Jean-Luc. He is my Best Friend. Isn't that right, mon capitaine?

Picard *sees the poor guy who has been turned into an almost wooden puppet with strings attached*: Sure, Q. Whatever you say.

[apollowhoo]

HELLO, can I request some Jason The Toymaker headcanons? The reader looks like a doll, one of those old ones. Please, established relationship :3

I'm sorry if I didn't explain myself well, I'm terrible at English.

ACTUALLY GOING BALLISTIC OVER MY FIRST CREEPYPASTA REQUEST!!

JASON THE TOY MAKER X DOLL LIKE!READER

Jason was utterly captivated the moment he saw you. Your porcelain-like skin, the way your eyes seemed to sparkle unnaturally in the light, and your perfectly delicate features reminded him of the fine craftsmanship he adores in his work. From the very start, he considered you a masterpiece—a living, breathing work of art.

To him, you’re as fragile as glass and just as irreplaceable. He has no problem glaring at anyone who so much as looks at you for too long. In Jason’s mind, the world is full of people who don’t deserve to admire something as perfect as you.

Jason can’t help but treat you like a literal doll at times. He’s constantly asking if you’ve been taking care of yourself. “Have you moisturized? You mustn’t let your beautiful skin dry out!” He’s also overly concerned about any blemishes or scratches you might get, to the point where he might lash out at whatever (or whoever) caused them.

Jason has a special chair in his workshop that he calls your “throne.” It’s covered with velvet and decorated with intricate carvings he spent hours perfecting. He insists you sit there and watch him work, claiming that your presence inspires his creativity.

Despite his sweet moments, Jason’s darker tendencies occasionally emerge. He adores you, but his definition of “love” often leans toward... ownership. “You’re mine, my perfect little doll. No one else will ever lay a hand on you.” It’s both a declaration and a promise, one he would uphold with blood if necessary.

Jason loves dressing you to match his aesthetic—dark reds, golds, and intricate designs that give you the appearance of a vintage doll brought to life. He takes immense pride in how the two of you complement each other, calling it “a display of true craftsmanship.”

To Jason, you’re more than a lover—you’re his muse. His workshop overflows with creations inspired by you: doll replicas, paintings, carvings, and even jewelry. “Every artist needs their inspiration,” he says with a smirk, “and you, my dear, are mine.”

[cherryspider19]

the lady and the doll

chapter 2, part 1

it had been 3 years since you left the manor and you were so happy. you lived in your dream home in Ireland. the place and land were beautiful. Isha liked it too. she said fresh air and a nice place keeps the mind healthy. you work as toymaker now for kids. you toys got so popular their demanded world wide. it was hard work but you were able to build up you work empire with blood, sweet, and tears. plus if this failed you hard a master in computer science and could get a job fixing computers. you were happy and were living well. but today you were not happy. not because the day was terrible and inconvenient its because of him. you never thought you'd see Bruce Wayne in a bar. you could see the head lines if people in Gotham did. you seat in you designated spot in the bar. side eyeing Bruce as he sat next to you.

"hello {name}" he said sitting next to you. watching as you ordered a ginger ale. "hello Bruce" you said. Bruce's jaw tightened a little as you called him by his name. "you'd call your parent by their name?" he asked. "what parent all I'm looking at now is a stranger" you responded raising a brow at him. Bruce frowned as he looked at you. he admits he wasn't the best father but now he want to fix his mistakes. "i see that doll is not with you." Bruce said looking at your back seeing the backpack you use to carry Isha in all the time gone. "Isha doesn't like bars, she said their dangers to delicate things like her. " you replied as you took a sip of your ginger ale. Bruce looked at the bar top staring at the glass of whiskey in his hands. "{name} i want to apologize of how i treated you at the manor, your brothers miss you" he said looking at you as you continued taking sips of your ginger ale. "HA! miss me? And people say you aren't funny." you said smiling slamming down your ginger ale then glare at Bruce. "what a load horse shit, they don't miss me. come up with a better lie at least geez." you said rolling your eyes. "language, and I'm not lying, they do miss you, I'm not the only one that came to see you." he said. you froze at that statement. you knew the only Bruce was in the bar but if the others were here. if they were even here, that would mean. "Isha!" you yelled slamming money down on the bar top and running out the bar to your home. "{name}!" bruce called out, watching as you ran out the bar.

when you made it to your house slamming open your door running to your study. "Isha!" you slammed the door to your study open as you looked around franticly for Isha. then saw her. "oh thank goodness!" your dashed toward her picking her up. "are you ok?" you asked looking for any cracks or blemishes. "i am fine {name}, do not fret my child." Isha spoke. "well that's not creepy at all." a voice called out behind you. you snapped your head to the intruder. "Richard Grayson." Isha said if were possible isha would have narrowed her eyes but she couldn't. "why do you dare blacken our doorstop?" she said with a snarl in her tone. "calm down. we not here to hurt you. both of you." dick said smiling. "why should believe you? you never cared what happen to us before?" you said as you stared at him. "and for that i am truly sorry." he said walking forward. making you back up furrowing your brows. "so guilt is what brought you here?" isha asked. dick looked ashamed as he lowered his head. "i- we are sorry for how we treated you." dick said raising his head reach out to hug you. but that only made you back up more. "both of you" dick said looking at sha too. "acknowledging me wont get you anywhere boy." she said. "oh i like her." another voice called out. you snapped your head to the left of dick and there stood Jason. smiling with his arms crossed he shoved dick out of the way and stepped towards you, eyeing your study. "so this is where your lovely ideas are created." jason said to himself sitting in your desk chair.

"you know of our work?" you ask. "our?" dick asked. "isha helps with my ideas. i cant take all the credit." you say holding isha close to your chest. "my darling as much as i love that you are worried about me hold me any tighter i might be unable to breath" isha called out. "oh sorry isha." you say gently moving her and your arms in a different position to hold her. "I do apologize for hurting you and isha, {name}" a voice said from up above. you looked up in fear as damien jumping down from the second level of your study that held the bookshelves of your toys, dolls, stuffed animals, music boxes, action figures. all your hard work.

you stared at Damien a little bit in fear. "well i accept the apology you only just broke off my arm" Isha said sarcastically. Damien frowned as he stared at Isha then at you. "has she been able to talk this whole time?" Damien asked. "i have but i just thought all of you except {name} were unworthy to hear my voice." Isha said. "big words coming from someone that's unable to move their whole body on their own." Jason said. "lets not fight please" dick said trying to break up the fight. "always have to be the mediator huh Richard?" Isha said with boredom in her tone. dick frowned. "why are you being so rude?" dick asked. "why should i be nice to the people who treated my child like shit?" Isha asked for someone who could not move or make facial expressions her voice was very expressive. you looked at isha then back to the Wayne boys realizing one was missing. "where's timothy?" you ask. "Tim is back at the manor with Alfred prepare for to come back home" Jason said. "ah how lovely of course he wouldn't come. always so busy huh?" Isha snapped, jason frowned. "wait! wait! what do you mean for us to come home?" you asked. "i second that notion what makes you think we'll go back to that place at all?" isha asked. "because we need you there" dick said grabbing your hand. you jumped at that trying to pull your hand away from his grip.

[eldritch-nightmare]

Dom / switch / sub headcanons for all the creeps? (like who’s a Dom, who’s a sub, yada yada)

a/n: i'm honestly not sure if i explained any of these properly because they sorta just make sense in my mind but here u guys go i hope u can see my vision. second time writing nsfw content teehee hope i did a good job <3

dom/sub/switch headcanons.

includes: slenderman, jeff the killer, eyeless jack, laughing jack, jane the killer, nina the killer, the bloody painter, candy pop, the doll maker, jason the toymaker, dr smiley, nurse ann, the puppeteer, clockwork, zalgo, hobo heart, ticci toby, zero, kagekao, nathan the nobody, homicidal liu + sully, and laughing jill.

warnings: minors dni, nsfw discussion, inconsistent word length, mentions of the following: praise, degradation, orgasm denial, dacryphilia, asphyxiation, overstimulation, dumbification, fingering, very brief mention of a corruption kink in sully's part.

SLENDERMAN is none. it isn't interested in sex whatsoever. the thought never even crosses its mind, and it will turn down any and all advances. it has no desire to partake in sexual acts with anyone.

JEFF THE KILLER is a dom but that's not a surprise. he prefers being the one in control, and will more than likely never be willing to sub during sex. it also feeds his ego a bit, seeing you squirming underneath him, begging him to fuck you until his name is the only thing on your mind. he likes having this type of power over you.

EYELESS JACK is a switch. he doesn't really have a preference. if you want him to dom you, he'll make it to where you can't walk in the morning. if you want him to sub, he'll be a whining, moaning mess underneath you as he comes undone.

LAUGHING JACK is a switch. he has fun doing both! he's always willing to mix it up. whatever you want, he's willing to be. i actually kinda imagine sex with him will be a little difficult?? y'know, pointed nose, long nails that he can't clip. i'm not entirely sure how certain aspects of sex will work with him but... i imagine you guys figure something out.

JANE THE KILLER is a sub. you would think that she would be a dom but hell no she needs to be treated like a princess during sex. definitely a bratty sub for sure. she's the type to say make me when you tell her to behave.

NINA THE KILLER is a switch. she's definitely a softer dom, always so gentle and praising you so sweetly as she cares for your needs. and when she's the sub? then she is the sub. she becomes a whining, needy mess as she begs you to use her, wanting to be good just for you.

THE BLOODY PAINTER is a switch. honestly, i think he's a virgin so in the beginning of your sexual relationship with him, you would definitely have to take the lead more often than not. he comes to learn that he doesn't really care if he's a dom or sub.

CANDY POP is a dom. through and through. he's a hard dom, at that. he'll deny you orgasms and he'll have you fucked stupid before he finally lets you cum. he degrades you as well. look at you, taking his length so well. it's almost like you were made to be fucked like a slut.

THE DOLL MAKER is sex repulsed. for a variety of reasons, vine is repulsed by the mere thought of sex and will vehemently avoid and turn down any advances made toward him.

JASON THE TOYMAKER is a dom. this also probably isn't a shock, given his nature. he definitely leans more towards being a soft dom, but if you want him to degrade you and use you as a toy then all you have to do is ask. he's eager to please you.

DR SMILEY is a dom. i haven't written much about him but he definitely doesn't seem like a sub or switch. i think he enjoys being in control, and he definitely likes having you at his mercy.

NURSE ANN is a dom. you couldn't get her to sub for you even if you tried, i'm sorry. ann is like a fucking animal when it comes to sex man her stamina and endurance are crazy. she'll have you forgetting your own name.

THE PUPPETEER is a non-partaking dom. he doesn't feel sexual attraction but he's not against helping you get off if you beg him to. he directs you on how to please yourself all while praising you for being a good listener. and maybe he'll end up degrading you a bit too, who knows.

CLOCKWORK is a switch that doms more often than not. she rarely ever subs, finding that she derives more pleasure when she's dominating you and making you scream her name. when she does sub, she's a lot more needy than you'd expect. she's a brat too.

ZALGO is a dom. he's also a hard dom, though i don't think that's shocking to anyone. he's the type to praise you while he degrades you. he'll leave marks on your skin as well, and he'll fuck you until you're in tears because you just look so adorable when you cry. he's an aftercare king tho don't worry.

HOBO HEART is a sub. trust me guys he's a desperate and needy sub. he's so so so sensitive and he'll be coming undone even if you don't touch him. he'll be a crying and drooling mess by the time you're done with him, and the praise you give him for being so good just makes him feel so, well, good.

TOBY is a switch. he just wants to please you in any way he can. if that means pinning you down and filling you up until you're both exhausted or letting you use him to satisfy your needs, then so be it. he doesn't really care as long as he gets to please you.

ZERO is a dom. she absolutely lives for the control she has over you in the bedroom. she'll probably manhandle you, to be honest, she loves how easy you fold to her touch alone. she's also the type to praise you while degrading you. and if you're into it, she'll probably choke you.

KAGEKAO is a switch that doms more often than not. sex is really just another way for him to tease and play with you. he likes having you beg for release, and he loves overstimulating you. but sometimes the tables may turn. it'll be rare, but you very well can get kagekao on his knees begging to worship you.

NATHAN THE NOBODY is sex repulsed. it's just not something he's interested in, and the thought alone tends to make him feel nauseous, to be honest. if you want, you can go and fulfill your sexual desires through someone else.

HOMICIDAL LIU is a switch that subs more often than not. and trust me when i say that he will worship you. his only goal is to fulfill your every need in any way that he can. most of the time, it's him begging you to let him fuck you while you tease him. however, sometimes, when he's the dom, he will fuck you so hard that you end up a dazed, babbling mess only able to get out a jumbled mess of please and don't stop. AND HE'S SO SWEET ABOUT IT TOO god he praises you the entire time, acting as if he literally isn't rearranging your insides right now.

SULLY is a switch. sully just goes with the flow, to be honest. he doesn't lean towards being a dom or a sub, he just is. one moment you could be fucking him until the only thing he can think about is you, and then the next he could be fingering you while marking your body up and making you beg for him to fuck you senseless. and honestly, he probably has a corruption kink tbh.

LAUGHING JILL is a sub. she is so desperate and needy, eager to please you and do whatever you want her to do. she'll cry, she'll beg, she'll be a brat, she'll do anything and everything to get you to touch her. she loves it when you praise her. she just wants to be a good girl for you <3

[phosphorlily]

Made another LI! Peter March the Rabbitkeeper, creature of old money who thinks you're his rabbit and would love to give you a lavish life, evening out the apathy he feels towards others in his day to day. A toymaker by day, he has a little shop where you can buy hand-crafted toys of all kinds. His parents let him run it to keep him from causing trouble or getting bored—He'd be cooped up in his manor all day without it.

Copy-pasting my notes under the cut!

This one actually has two special stats that have a sort of interplay, along with Stockholm Syndrome traits.

Stat 1: Insecurity.

Insecurity correlates directly with how much control he feels he needs to use to keep you within his life. Low insecurity is ideal, as higher insecurity makes him less likely to roam freely and more likely to start nonconsensual encounters. Defiant acts generally increase insecurity, while submissive or meek actions decrease it. Bratty actions don't increase or decrease it, as he will assume you're playing hard to get. Despite his propensity for causing noncon encounters, "ask to stop" will always be successful no matter his state during the encounter, and he will wait several days before trying to have sex with you again.

Low insecurity will allow you both more freedom to roam and the ability to make him switch between submissive or dominant roles, as well as bottom/top individually.

At high insecurity and high love, he will lavish you in gifts and affection to try and win you over. This includes enough money to field Bailey's rent at its base maximum (4k), but not if you increase the amount Bailey asks for at the beginning of the game.

Stat 2: Delusion.

How much he acts on his belief that you're really his rabbit. Will not go below 1%, because you cannot fix him.

Perhaps paradixically, both playing along and rebuking his reality directly causes this stat to rise as he shuts down any further possibilities in his mind. To lower it takes a more subtle approach.

At higher delusion, he will get upset if you eat meat, will try to put you in a hutch, keep you inside, and ward off beasts and beastpeople; especially dogs, cats, wolves, and foxes. There is a chance that when he gives you gifts, he will give you rabbit treats, food, or toys instead of things geared towards humans.

At lower delusion, he will be more relaxed about you acting like a human person and will interact with you normally or nearly normally, only occasionally acting on his beliefs.

The rabbit tf prevents his delusion stat from going down past 50%, and will increase it each night by a certain amount of points based on what's visible.

At both low insecurity and low delusion, he will talk about his actual rabbit he had as a child—Lending some insight into his loneliness and why he is so tightly holding onto the beliefs he has.

At high love, low insecurity and mid to low delusion, he gives you more gifts still that are actually useful—More than high love/insecurity, as this is the sort of 'peak' state.

Once the stockholm syndrome trait is acquired, you can ask to stay with him forever. From there he will field up to 4k of Bailey's rent in exchange for you staying. If you dismiss him or stay away for more than 4 weeks, he will stop paying. For the latter, if you return, he will resume paying for you, albeit with a massive hit to both insecurity and delusion as he was afraid you ran away forever. During your time away it is possible to see missing pet posters around town after your first week away. This will increase your bestiality fame a small amount each week, ao be careful.

He also will provide you with lots of ways to lower stress and trauma. He may have issues, but he's going to try and give you the best life possible! After all, rabbits can die from stress and fear-//shot

When you go to bed there's an option to snuggle him if you go to his room. If you have the insomnia trait or high trauma, it helps you get a better rest to be held. :)

He's slightly masochistic when you meet him. You can influence him to get even more masochistic I think. Drooling masochist LI foreber. Make him whimper

I think there's a random chance for him to have a bad day and just go 🥺 hug my bnnuy? And giving him snuggles and letting him vent increases love a lot. You get to learn some weird shit from him during it.

I think he's actually rather quiet over all but has a good singing voice and is a bit sleepy. There's something wrong with him in a way that may be supernatural, but... Who is to say? There are likely events where you can find out what's up with him.

Very forgiving, I don't think he gets mad at the pc I think he just gets sad in a sort of "<:') oh... Alright... Sorry....." Sulky way if he gets actually upset

He's a virgin when you meet him for everything. This can be taken by you or by random 0.5% chance he'll come home freaked out bc he is not immune to the horrors of dolville and doesn't have his own defenses. May come home gagged, shackled, etc and require your help. Assisting him increases love and security. Maybe he also has a secret trauma stat like robin? High trauma would make his delusion gains much larger.

His gifts of clothes are dependant on gender: If you're salcian/hermaphroditic or a crossdresser you will get outfits of both genders, otherwise it will be based on what parts you're working with unless specifically requested. (Which you can!)

[stars0fthesea]

Hello! I’m so extremely bored so I’m gonna post a song analysis kind of thing? But it’s about Jason and Amelia. Uhmmm idk how to explain it soooo JUST READ!!!

Song: A Humans Touch (on Spotify by TWRP, McKenna Rae)

(TW: Mentions of child abuse and neglect. I don’t go into super details but it is mentioned.)

(ALSO ALSO These are my own versions of Jason and Amelia. They were childhood friends that grew up together!!! I’ll make another post about that or whatever.)

Jason and Amelia ^

The first bit could be applied to both of them.

“Am I toy to you, my love? Just a thing to play and then throw away.”

For Jason it’s the feeling of betrayal. he did everything for Amelia, kept her safe from the world. He was loyal to her and yet she betrayed him when he was at rock bottom. He believes that Amelia took all the “love” he gave to her without giving anything back. Essentially she “threw him away” after she realized she no longer needed him. Even though that isn’t what happened.

Jason just can’t ever blame himself for his own actions and the consequences that follow. He didn’t keep Amelia safe, nor was he ever loyal. He wanted control over her, and when he no longer had that control he became angry. That anger mixed with the exhaustion and burnout he faced ended up killing him.

For Amelia, she felt terrified— she was terrified. Always feeling as though Jason never truly loved her, only used her, manipulated her into having no one around her. Scaring her from ever making true friends and only having Jason, until the end. Which goes with the “Am I just a toy to you, my love?” Jason played with her, toyed with her emotions. Turned her once confident personality into a more confined one.

“I never asked for this”

Jason never asked his parents to neglect, abuse, and kick him out of the house all because he wanted to become a toymaker. Amelia never asked for Jason to treat her the way he did just because she was one of the only one to treat Jason nicely.

“I always did my best.”

Jason always listened to his father. Fixing any flaws his father would point out. He did everything to try and get his attention, try and make him proud— until he realized that nothing. Nothing. He did would ever make his parents happy. Everything he did was a mistake in their eyes. And so he tuned them out. Jason didn’t need them anyways. For gods sake he would show them just how amazing he really is.

…

“Without your love, I am a broken mess.” Self explanatory for Jason…after Amelia killed him he ended up being broken. His heart became more rotten after losing Amelia’s love for him. He turned into a mess, looking for a woman that can replace what Amelia left. A void in his heart, waiting to be filled.

This entire part is just Jason. ^

“I never did you wrong”

These words fit Amelia more. During their entire relationship Amelia didn’t do anything to Jason. She was supportive of his dreams, offered to help him succeed, she was an amazing friend.

Yet Jason still treated Amelia as if she was nothing but a toy. She did everything for him, but Jason treated her like a child. Hell she could have done so much more than the pathetic redhead and he’d still see her as something he has control over. Amelia knew that they would never be equals in his eyes, and she didn’t dare say anything about it. (If you couldn’t tell he’s a misogynist.)

For Jason these words just circle back to his entire belief being: His actions are justified because everything he did was to protect Amelia from the cruel world she didn’t understand. He didn’t do anything wrong to Amelia, she just didn’t understand anything. She didn’t understand the love he was giving to her.

“Until the new me came along.”

Amelia again! This kind of goes with the first part but I wanted to write it separately. We know Amelia didn’t do anything to Jason, yeah.

She eventually did free herself from his control, realizing what he was doing to her. It took a lot of courage and strength but she did it. She escaped Jason. And eventually she killed the man that manipulated her. Thus why the lyrics: “I never did you wrong, until the new me came along.” Fits her so well. This new version of herself took over control and got rid of the evil redhead.

“it was just you and me”

Jason from the very start of his life was neglected. His own parents didn’t want him. He was alone. At school nobody would speak with him. The teachers felt bad, but they didn’t do much with the children teasing and bullying Jason. He had absolutely no one.

But then.

Amelia showed up in his life. Amelia who was smiling brightly since the day she met Jason. She was talkative and sure a bit annoying, but Jason finally had someone. And it wasn’t bad. Despite all the other children whispering rumors about Jason, Amelia stuck by his side.

It was just Jason and Amelia.

Jason needs Amelia. Or at least that’s what he thinks.

He takes the lives of every woman that reminds him of Amelia. Whether it be their personality, their face, their looks, whatever. He desperately tries to feel how it once felt to have Amelia by his side. Call it obsession if you will…but really he just misses having such power and control over someone.

[0maisie0]

how about an idea for a fic about y/n and Toymaker: y/n is kind of in a relationship with him and can't help but wonder what it would be like to date someone else? and Toymaker doesn't like it and is a little angry with her. but in the end there is a hippie ending?

(I hope this is what you wanted.)

The vibrant red paint on Mr Emporuns toy shop shimmed in the sweet afternoon sun as you hurried down the street. A single handmade bag, filled with a variety of sewing needles, threads and fabric, rested in your palm as the ceramic doll heads in the window seemed to face you. Their dull black eyes seemed to shine at the sight of you and you were sure if they could move you would have felt fifty little china hands wrapping around your ankles in a twisted hug.

The bell chimed through the overstimulating shop as you shuffled past the red curtain. Toys lined the walls as you walked up to the empty dark oak counter and placed the bag down on it. The familiar grin of the toymaker was nowhere to be seen as you fiddled with the little merry-go-round that spun under your touch. The snow white horses spin around and around.

“Maybe he went out…” you muttered to yourself and stepped behind the counter, pulling out a half-finished doll dress from the shadowed shelf just below. It was one you had been working on in your free time, a small gift to adorn the doll the toymaker had gifted you when he had first confessed his feelings.

A soft smile covered your features as you remembered that day, but it was slowly replaced with a frown as the voices of your friends swam around your mind. The blushed mutter as she talked about her adoring husband and the extravagant evenings they had shared in London's finest locations. The new jewellery and gentle touch.

Your hands tranced over the miniature dress as you wondered when the last time you and the toymaker even went out for dinner. You supposed it can't have been for at least three months. He treated you like another one of his delicate dolls lying in his hands as he combed through their hair.

Before you could stop yourself your mind wandered to the other men that wandered the streets of Soho. Did they take their partners out as much as your friend said? Did they spend the last few coins they had on a new shiny bracelet just to see the smile on their wife's face?

A sigh escaped your lips and floated around the room, still no sign of the toymaker as your hands moved automatically to switch the side of the dress. Watching as the yellow threat pierced through the fabric over and over.

Would the man next door let you wake up alone almost every morning? Would the beggar around the street give his wife the warmest blanket in the heavy winter? Would the old landlord go three years without any sign of taking his relationship further?

“The landlord is a man of the town who likes much younger women.” a rich voice broke through the air behind you as two firm hands spun you around. You were so lost in your own head you didn't hear the door open behind you and the toymaker's face drop as your thoughts echoed through his mind.

The toymaker's hypnotic blue eyes stared down at you. He could see right through you as his hands rested on your hip, his thumbs rubbing over the soft fabric. His grey hair was perfect as always while his collar shirt wrapped around his neck and stayed fastened with a bow. Meanwhile the soft breeze outside had definitely swept itself through your hair and ruffed your dress.

“Something wonderful about me is,” he leaned down closer to you, his breath fanning over your face. His voice seemed to drop an octave. “I always know what you're thinking.”

A shiver of fear ran up your spine as the toymaker grinned down at you, pulling your body closer to his. His arms kept you locked against him, unable to escape his warm gasp even if you wanted. 

“You were gone a while, doll, I hope you enjoyed your lunch,” he whispered in your ear, leaving a small kiss on your temple as he continued. “What friend was it again?”

His lips stayed just hovering over your skin as you muttered back, your voice wavering slightly. “Oh, umm, f/n, I grabbed some more thread on the way home… and there was fabric on offer…”

“Enough. I want to know what she put into your pretty little head to make you think of others.”

Your voice trailed off as the toymaker's words bled into it. Every part of him felt hypnotic as your face flushed and your body radiated heat. His hands gripped your tighter, leaving little ink marks from his nails. His waistcoat rubbed against your blouse as he stared down at you. Waiting… Expecting an answer.

“I…”

Nothing came as you stared up at him, your lips parted slightly as you stared deep into his icy blue eyes. He glared down at you, before his face soured and he hissed out.

“Don't protect her, I have been very lenient with you daring…” his face darkened as he continued. “letting you go out, giving you everything you so much, but you're mine, only mine and I will not let those petty little men out there take you away from me.”

You stayed silent as he pulled you through into the ever-twisting back of the shop. This time it was a long hotel-looking corridor with rows and rows of doors on each side. He pressed you against the wall, his hand pressing just below your neck.

“This is my domain, my universe governed by my laws. I will not have you thinking of other men.” slowly his hand moved down to your chest and his voice softened slightly. He could feel your heart racing, shaky and laboured breaths filling your lungs under his touch.  

“I can feel your breath. It's so human…” his voice dropped to an affectionate mutter. “My beloved human.” 

“Toymaker?” you muttered, pulling yourself away from the wall and into his body. “I don't… mean it. It's my thoughts, I can't control them and I want to be with you.”

He pulled you close to his chest, pulling open the nearest door to reveal the familiar sight of a warm bedroom. You had slept there for many years at this point with the burgundy french loveseat near the fire being a favourite of the toymakers as he sat you down on it. 

“My precious doll, your poor human mind is too susceptible to the distractions of the world. I am all your mind needs to think about.” he ran his hand through your hair, smiling softly as you leaned into his touch and relaxed to his hypnotic voice. 

“Il take you out to the Ritz, i'll show you the universe one day.”

[sister-lucifer]

thinking about Jason the toymaker x male reader with some forced feminization

although Jason is pansexual and feels attraction to all genders indiscriminately, he usually only finds women to be ethereally beautiful enough to be his dolls. He only knows how to treat ladies, not gentlemen. But then he walks into the toy shop one day, a man whose angelic visage is almost too much for Jason to bare, and he needs to have him.

Jason has only ever had female victims dolls, so of course the closet in your lovely new room is filled with women’s clothing and Victorian style dresses, intricate outfits with corsets and layers of undergarments that he’ll surely have to help you with. Not to worry, he’s more than willing to assist you! He expects his dolls to be well dressed for him, after all.

The way he treats you is so condescending, cooing down at you about how beautiful you are for him. He reminds you to sit with your legs crossed, it’s not ladylike to spread yourself over the seat like that. Yes, yes, he knows you’re not a lady, stop reminding him. He’s just trying to teach you to be proper.

You’re such a pretty doll, do you know that? Yes you are, and you’re his pretty doll now, to dress up and play with however he sees fit. No, no, dont whine, be a good boy and wear the dress, okay? You wouldn’t want to anger your darling, would you?

Jason sees nothing wrong with how he treats you. What’s ladylike is proper, and you should be proper for him, shouldn’t you? He really doesn’t know any better, but a good doll shouldn’t complain either way. So behave like a good girl, okay?

anyways yeah i’m thinking about this a lot i need to write a fic

[darklordazalin]

Azalin Reviews: Darklord Maligno

Domain: Odiare Domain Formation: 738 BC Power Level: 💀💀💀⚫⚫ Sources: Domains of Dread (2e); The Created (2e); Foraged of Darkness (2e), Ravenloft (3e)

Maligno is the Darklord of Odiare. For those of you familiar with the Italian language, this roughly translates, in English, to Darklord “Hate” of “Hate”. Given Maligno changed his name to such, we can safely assume he inherited his ‘father’s’ creativity with names who named him “Figlio” or “son”.

Maligno was created by Guiseppe, a toymaker from “gothic earth” in a realm known as Italy, who wished to create a son for himself. I suppose traditional means were deeded impossible for the bachelor as he went straight to creating a marionette and obsessively preying for it to come to life. I prefer my marionettes in the form of breathing minions that don’t realize I’m pulling their strings, but, well, there’s no accounting for taste.

Guiseppe got his wish and so proud was he of his ‘son’, the he took him to the village and showed everyone how amazing Figlio was. Naturally, most fled in horror or shunned him when confronted with this abomination except the children. The children thought Filgio was another toy for them to play with and adored him.

Figlio was enraged by how the adults treated him and began to formulate a plan for revenge. First he forced Guiseppe to create marionettes ‘like him’. Guiseppe did so, but found them to be more a mockery of life than what he had envisioned. They only obeyed Figlio, ignoring their creator’s commands. With this puppet army, Figlio renamed himself Maligno and slaughtered all of the adults in Odiare. This act drew Odiare into the Mists as an Island of Terror.

Carrionettes have a unique ability in which they can drive a needle into the back of the neck of an immobilize victim and transfer their essence into their body. Maligno’s minions did just that after their slaughter, but when Maligno attempted to do the same to his ‘father’, he found that ability lost to him. He can never inhabit a living body and will forever be a wooden boy. In addition, he could not even take out his frustrations by killing his creator, for any damage done to Guiseppe hurts the puppet in turn.

Even with this curse, Maligno is not to be underestimated. Nothing but magical fire or arcane energy focused on an area instead of an individual can harm him and Guiseppe is able to repair any damage done to the puppet. He can also animate any toy…given that most of Odiare is made up of children and Guiseppe is continually making more carrionettes for Maligno’s use, the little toy has plenty of minions to play with.

[deramin2]

Critical Role is posing a big question about free will in fantasy creatures. Even in Exandria's deliberately less essentialist setting vs. D&D's traditional settings, the Feywild is a fairy tale land and it's denizens are more bound by their natures.

So how much free will and agency does Morrigan have? She claimed Fearn in one of her dark bargains. She kept Fearne safe but imprisoned in her realm and separated from her parents. Fearne is upset at her parents for staying away and not raising her, but Morrigan did that.

However, Morrigan didn't directly treat Fearne cruelly in any other way. She genuinely loved & doted on Fearne. Fearne had a wonderful childhood she cherishes every moment of. It's only looking in from the outside that we have to question how fucked up that caregiver situation is.

Fearne and her parents are victims of Morrigan's nature. But they also love her and forgive her. Both generations of Calloways fled back to Morrigan when they needed safety, protection, and a place they loved that is also part of that nature. They love her. She loves them. They're family and they look out for each other.

Fearne came to Morrigan for serious emotional crisis help in the time it most mattered and Morrigan genuinely helped them. In a terrifying, dramatic, entertaining for her (and us) way, but she did help. Morrigan is a Tragedy Enjoyer™ superfan, only for real life and she can donate to the stream to get the outcome she wants. She just loves watching people make fools out of themselves and suffer awkwardly. Which Bell's Hells did for her very willingly.

So is it Morrigan the Fate Stitchers compelled nature to make everyone she makes deals with suffer? Or is that just really enjoyable for her but if it's entertaining and enjoyable to help people she absolutely can and will do that. Does she always take when she gives? I think the answer is way more compelling if she has free will and we're seeing some of the few exceptions.

So now Chetney has made a deal to be the most famous toymaker ever. All he has to do is bring her a piece of the god-eater. Chetney did not discuss what happens if he fails. He also didn't necessarily need to be famous for his toys. If Bell's Hells succeed and Chetney upholds the bargain, Morrigan might be satisfied and make him famous for heroism. Which might be infamy more than adoration and be a curse all on its own. If he fails maybe she deliberately makes sure he's never remarkable and easily forgotten (Chetney's worst fear). I'm less afraid of her getting him killed because we've seen she likes to keep her victims alive. She makes them living topiaries in her garden. Or she sets them up for constant failure and then watches them flounder as her shows. But I she could still change how he's known if he incidentally dies. (Maybe differently depending on his Bell's Hells fulfills his bargain for him.)

Same with Orym. If Morrigan helps them (he still has to call on her like Percy's pact), Orym serves her. He might become ward like Fearne was with guard duties. He lives in her domain or where she sends him, and he lives in this freaky place with his best friend. Which isn't much different than what he did in and for Zephrah. Except his home is full of so many ghosts it's hard to be there anymore, even though he loves it and the people there. He's been on the road for years unable to settle down in his grief. His "price" for her is that she gives him a place where he has to settle down. Where he's loved and not alone, even if it's not the same. Like Fearne, the reading where this is a tragic sacrifice for Orym is from the outside in. From inside the restrictions come with a lot of benefits. Orym's Fearne's best friend. Morrigan doesn't have to take anything he isn't relieved to give up. Or so he thinks. Maybe his tragedy is that he'd start losing touch with Zephrah over time, like Fearne lost to her parents. What if that's what he thinks he wants so he can be someone new that isn't stuck in the past? Disappearing from his loved one's lives the way Will and Derrig did. But alive and maybe thriving with what feels like a new beginning and a different but happy ending as Fearne's friend.

Travis and Liam are also making a bargain with Matt: Matt sets up dramatic consequences, good or bad, and Travis will get to act out this super interesting story. Chetney's story is about a guy who wants fame so much he makes a huge gamble on his abilities for it. Could be the next Shakespearian tragedy where a hubristic guy makes terrible decisions chasing huge bets into the ground and destroying his own life and many others in the process. Could be the next Lord of the Crossroads.

Liam gets to ask both Matt and the audience if this is a tragedy of the moral chaos of the Feywild. What's a tragedy from the outside might not be one on the inside. Fate and Fate Stitchers are fickle that way. Nana Morri could show nothing but love and affection for Orym and it gets told as a terrifying fairy tale warning against Morri. That's a story that often doesn't get told, but there's so much inherent angst to it. (Which let’s be real Liam is also a Tragedy Enjoyer™ like Morri.

But either way Travis and Liam get to explore what that looks like and how it affects his OC. This is what roleplaying thrives off of. That's what makes it fun. Players, GMs, and dice all being unpredictable in constrained ways that drive the narrative forward, not always to good ends but interesting ends is what makes TTRPGs a compelling medium. The cast have repeatedly said they always enjoy taking the risk and playing out the consequences way more than the things they held back on. They said at the beginning of this campaign all bets are off. Matt's set some high stakes and big red buttons in front of them (even when he warned about the consequences up front).

This is emotional Roller Coaster Tycoon and it's unclear if the players are creating an effective roller coaster that scores high points, or one deliberately designed to crash in new and exciting ways just to see what happens. That breaks so many rules of narratives made for an audience but is totally normal in home-play if all the group consents to it. (Definitely something you need buy-in for from everyone before you play because if someone is expecting epitomized heroic play and gets that they're not going to have a good time.) Perhaps that's also why some audience members aren't vibing with this as much as previous heroic campaigns whereas I who greatly enjoy media like The Lighthouse, Uncut Gems, Torch Song Trilogy, and Dead Esther am having a grand old time. (Just a taste difference.)

Am I scared the characters aren't going to get a happy ending, yeah sort of. This could easily turn into EXU Calamity. But I love the territory they're exploring, the questions about human (and hag) nature they're exploring, and the importance of subjective experience. I have absolutely no investment in how the events ultimately pan out. Blorbos were meant to be tormented. It's important for their enrichment and mine. Is Morrigan going to fuck them over? Maybe, maybe not. But it is going to be a really interesting story either way. And really at the core of it, a really interesting story is what Morrigan likes most.

[denimbex1986]

'Doctor Who's 60th anniversary special reveals the Toymaker had a hand in the Timeless Child, the invention of TV, and much more, but he may have also played a game with Captain Jack Harkness. One of the biggest twists from Russell T Davies' first stint as Doctor Who showrunner was the reveal that Torchwood's Jack Harkness would eventually become the Face of Boe - a big face floating in a jar. Frustratingly, Doctor Who TV canon has still not bridged that gap. Rose's Bad Wolf form made Jack immortal, but at some point during the millennia he was alive, the universe's randiest Time Agent became a giant head, and it remains unclear how.

This seems to be one of few Doctor Who mysteries RTD doesn't use the Toymaker to solve in Doctor Who's "The Giggle." When Neil Patrick Harris' villain faces David Tennant's Fourteenth Doctor in a game of cards, the Toymaker proclaims he "made a jigsaw out of your [the Doctor's] history." Speaking on Doctor Who: Unleashed, RTD explained this was intended as a loosening of the rules that could account for Doctor Who's Timeless Child retcon, the Eighth Doctor's claim about being half-human, and anything else that didn't quite fit. In a strange way, the Toymaker might have also addressed how Captain Jack transformed into the Face of Boe.

The Toymaker Claimed He Turned God Into A "Jack-In-The-Box"

When the Toymaker is boastfully listing his many achievements since crossing into Doctor Who's main universe, he mentions, "I gambled with God - and made him into a Jack-in-the-box." The initial implication here is that Doctor Who's Toymaker made a beeline for whatever passed as the monotheistic deity of the universe, played a game with it, won, and then turned this entity into a toy for his own amusement, just as he does to the UNIT soldiers in "The Giggle." According to one theory (via X user Tigfore), however, the Toymaker's "Jack-in-the-box" remark may have been a sneaky reference to turning Jack Harkness into the Face of Boe.

Across Doctor Who seasons 1-3, the Face of Boe was treated as a big deal, with loyal followers that would accompany and care for him towards the end of his life. The 2018 audio story "Escape from New York" went further, and included a reference that suggested the Face of Boe had come to be considered a God in humanity's future. When the Toymaker says he "gambled with God," therefore, he certainly could mean Captain Jack Harkness. "Jack-in-the-box" would then be a very wry nod to the Toymaker turning Jack into a face inside a jar.

Why The Toymaker Turning Jack Harkness Into The Face Of Boe Makes Sense

Using the phrase "Jack-in-the-box" to refer to the Face of Boe fits perfectly with the morbid, toy-centric sense of humor Neil Patrick Harris' version demonstrates throughout "The Giggle." More importantly, Jack Harkness was both a friend of the Doctor's and an immortal being, tickling two of the Toymaker's areas of interest. Given how long Jack was alive, it seems inevitable that the Toymaker would have approached him. Just like the Doctor, Jack would have realized that his best bet was defeating the villain at his own game. Jack then lost, and - with all due respect to Boekind - had his trademark good looks taken away as punishment.

This would actually answer two big questions hanging over the Jack Harkness-Face of Boe connection. Given that Boe is allegedly the future form taken by Jack Harkness, it seems strange that Doctor Who also mentions an entire species known as Boekind. Secondly, Jack is supposed to be immortal, but eventually dies after becoming the Face of Boe. Boekind may have been a preexisting species that the Toymaker decided was a fitting form for Jack Harkness to take, and the villain is also powerful enough to undo the TARDIS mojo keeping Jack from dying. As the Fourteenth Doctor himself admits, "the TARDIS is an idea the Toymaker would throw away."

The Toymaker Is Doctor Who's Best Chance At Explaining The Face Of Boe

Since Russell T Davies is dipping into Doctor Who lore and pulling out the Meep, Mel, and the various deep-cut Easter eggs in Tales of the TARDIS, one cannot rule out Doctor Who explaining the full story behind the Face of Boe in a future season. Due to external factors, however, this is incredibly unlikely. Controversy surrounding his initial run on the show has likely scuppered any chance that John Barrowman will return in Doctor Who season 14 and beyond, ending hopes of continuing Captain Jack's story.

Without Barrowman, recounting the story of how Jack became the Face of Boe would be tricky, which leaves blaming the Toymaker as the most straightforward answer. This also avoids the problem of "God" in Doctor Who. If the Toymaker turned the universe's actual God into a Jack-in-the-box, this not only means God no longer exists in the show's canon, but for the first time since the Tenth Doctor beat the devil, questions are raised over the nature of Doctor Who's religious mythology. If the "God" mentioned by the Toymaker was only Captain Jack, those problems no longer apply.'

[drapi0n]

It was taking absolutely everything in Ilmarinen's power not to kick this whole boat into rip and tear mode right fucking now on all these old fucks hogging the road going a precious five miles under the limit, but unfortunately this stupid bucket of bolts is supposed to be inconspicuous right now and that would be absolutely anything but! Especially if that uptight little toymaker figures out exactly what the precious cargo of hers was in his trunk...

Come to think of it, that's probably another good reason not to go crazy with it... Any good tinker would make their shit a little fuckin blast resistant at least but that's no excuse to let himself go crazy and wind up with a broken toy just because traffic was a little off.

God he'll appreciate when this is back on his table and there's no more chances of prying eyes.

Wait… the cars in front of him were moving differently. As if he wasn't already creeping forward more, he winked an eye to judge the distance before peeling absolute rubber to scrape between the two. Get absolutely fucked you dusty golf bags! That bumper scrape better have left a mark because the Bitch-Mobile sure fucking won't have any! Heh. That's what they get for fucking with the guy with an anti brute car. Sigh… what a day it won't be when he can hit and run someone who will really dent the bitch.

Not tonight… too many things to do first.

Mindful to only speed about as bad as everyone else on the damn road, he raced back to the rundown remains of whatever stupid store hid his whole operation. It was probably a pawn shop with the way it reeked like cig smoke and moth balls when he first found it but now you can tell it's a tinker shop the way it reeks like weed smoke and welding. Adding another couple degrees of tilt to the ramp railing out back as he parked, a quick tap of a keychain to a ring had the total fence lock engaged, giving him enough privacy to start hauling this gift box inside.

God he was such a fucking genius to install a door lock that opened at the sign of all his unique body tech, if he had to lug this shit and fumble with his jewelry at the same time he'd go crazier! No no no, even without the boxes he'd hate to go back to using the manual locks, the little cat door trick is all he ever needed in his life! Okay of course not all. Not even this new treat will live up to that. Probably.

He didn't need to think about that yet. Not with it actually set in his workshop like this.

He should probably stop calling it an it actually...

Whatever, he could ask if it's got something different to use once he can actually ask it shit at all, first he had to tear off this wrapping paper and get in there.

He leaned over the heavy crate and began tracing fingers against the big nodes of locks keeping it held together. Ohhh if he wasn't already giggly, he was really laughing now… oh how he loved the tinker tech merry go round. Even if the locks were a little goddamn derivative, seriously... it's like Mekhanikus was building an armored tank just to slap a diary lock on the thing. Well. Among tinkers at least.

At least it meant it was a breeze to get the thing open, if he had to wait any goddamn longer to see what he managed to snag he'd do something even more unwise than stealing it to begin with! Of course the stupid specialty tool he made for the things still left the process stupid fiddly, just like fucking with anything else that wasn't his… he really needed more good tools for other common tricks at this rate.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the final lock clicking open, his hands shook with thrill as he lunged for the seam of the crate and scrambled for purchase. He only fumbled with it for a couple seconds before cursing, picking his tool back up and shoving the flat metal end in and prying the damn thing open like that. The harsh sound of a seal breaking was like music to his ears.

The manic grin on his face only split open wider at the sight of the toy inside. Oh Professor Mekhanikus you really shouldn't have!~

The inside of the crate looked like something out of an actually good sci-fi movie, which was not what he was expecting from Mekh given how everything she rode into battle with looked like auto shop homunculi but he guessed she must have some hidden tastes if this was anything to go by. The more interesting part was of course what was inside all that glorified styrofoam packing, and he was practically drooling over it already.

It was a robot. Of course given who he stole it from it wasn't about to be anything else. It felt necessary to remind himself that it was though because for a moment it almost didn't look that way, what with the surprisingly convincing lithe human frame and a face to match that was so real looking that if Ilmarinen wasn't able to see that the damn thing didn't breathe at all and had wires plugged into its head he'd think it was asleep. It basically was— from what he kinda grasped about her robots since starting to fuck with Mekh, then the moment he kicked this thing back on it would wake up, take approximately 20.3 seconds or so to process how long it's been out orrrrr potentially whatever this crate’s been telling it and then it'll realize he's not her and probably attack. Just because it's built like it's for ogling instead of fighting doesn't mean it definitely can't, he refuses to rule it out.

Can't do that to him if he doesn't let the thing though.

A few passes along the inside of the crate with tracing hands let him find the important bits of the machinery and he quickly began work unfolding, uncovering, expanding and otherwise adjusting the mechanisms until he found himself with something of an entire console display. A keyboard, buttons, sliders, lights and of course a display projected into the lid of the crate that was filling his eyes with delicious information about the 197 pound pile of machinery that was his now. He could feel his pants getting tighter.

The controls were of course OBTUSE to get a handle on to begin with, because god forbid any tinker other than him ever do something the smart way, but once he had them down it was allllll his. He felt like a cougar in a college bar. It was no wonder he could never crack anything else he salvaged from cracking heads with her if all of them had a console system like this… he could already feel his head spinning with designs and he hadn't even touched the actual robot yet!! If Mekhanikus doesn't kill him outright the next time she sees him she soooo deserves a handy for this.

He was rocking in his spot on his knees as he examined everything, he was swimming in idea after idea of beautiful mechanical bastards to point at his enemies as he drank in the details, savoring the data about every little mechanism in there making it move and how they're calibrating even as he's sitting there. It was once he started looking at the thinking and behavior functions where he went rigid.

“No. You're fucking kidding.”

Convincing human movements designed into the damn thing. Speech pattern recognition and recreation. Other stupid pointless social bullshit set aside in a locked little folder. And right where there should be all the databases of combat and battlefield control that you would expect from a woman who builds stupid fucking FIGHTING ROBOTS who sends them out to KILL THINGS, right where there should be a pretty little nexus of information to build a real fucking murderbot to save his ass when the big guns are on him… was all just a big layered mess of LOGIC LEARNING SYSTEMS. Ugh. Take back anything he ever said about handies.

It's probably useful. It HAS to have some kind of purpose or Mekhanikus wouldn't have fucking built the damn thing. He had to remember this.

He's not about to kill his boner looking through a big filing cabinet of boooring right now that's for sure. He huffed and began to turn his attention towards the social behaviors half of things, targeting the machines interactions with its maker. As expected the thing was designed to be perfectly loyal to and incredibly protective of her, though not to the destructive degree of the others, it wasn't designed for much past verbal aggression. Fuck, for as much as he wanted to be pissed it was so damn intriguing. Of course for as much as he was chewing through it in his head he was still changing that damn code.

No. No this guy needed to be for him.

Urghh… he really could stand to turn down the loyalty a lil though. As much as he was a genius to be bowed before, having a robot he stole be so devoted that as soon as he turns it on it just will? There was something about it that made his skin crawl. All power to Mekh for whatever she had going on here but this isn't her robot anymore and he's going to do what he damn well pleases about that.

In fact… a little hostility towards her is only fair. It can learn more of that itself.

He continued making slight adjustments like that until his knees went numb, then he pulled up a stool from one of his benches nearby and sat to make even more. In the end if he did it all right— and with as long as he's spent staring so far he fucking better have gotten it right— he would boot this thing up and it'll be confused, maybe a little apprehensive but open to what he had to say to it. If he played his cards right, told the story of how he got it in the first place and talked that shit through proper then he might even get lucky and have the robot ask him to keep it itself! He bounced his foot as he finished the adjustments before folding the extended console parts back into the system of the crate, eyeing the last few buttons left.

Even after the display read [CALIBRATIONS COMPLETE] his hand still hesitated over the power switch.

Fuck it, no turning back already. He gently pressed it before rolling back a bit on his stool to observe as the robot quickly began responding. The wires connected to its head released themselves with a click before small whirrs and creaks started up as it shifted from the fetal position it was curled into to instead sit holding its calves. A high pitched whine sounded from somewhere behind its eyes as it started up.

With it upright in front of him, the features of the face were clearer, especially with the careful way its wig was styled away towards its back. It didn't make it any easier to parse right away, its features weren't too remarkable but were pretty. More than that they were pretty damn androgynous features, and looking down at the body didn't actually help either. The body looked like it could look either direction with just a little help from clothes… maybe it was becoming clearer. He inspected the face again, now that he really considered it, it looked like the material would take makeup. The right makeup, the right clothes and even maybe contacts if someone gets a bit tipped off by the blue of the eyes and really—

“...Where am I?”

Shit. Eyes. 19.8 seconds until alertness. Consistent. He straightened up on the stool and flashed a smile. He hoped for welcoming but he was certainly landing on insane.

“You're inside my favorite workshop. Your maker let me get away with you, my name is Ilmarinen. Do you have one of your own?”

He held out a hand towards the robot and it slowly reached up to shake it. Good.

“Uh… I am Keys… could you clarify your earlier statement? About my maker, not your workshop.”

Its posture was tense but that was to be expected. He slipped his hand into his pocket and tried to look friendly. It was hard when he wanted to know everything he could about what this thing was designed for, but he had to.

“Oh I'd be happy to! See me and your maker— what do you call her by the way? Mommy? Mistress? Master?”

Keys’ eyes blew wide open and it sat up ramrod straight in embarrassment, he didn't think a robot could look like it got splashed by ice water but he could hardly keep himself from giggling at seeing it.

“What! N-no I call her Professor!! Or by her name!!” It's voice cranked into almost a squawk, finally showing some mechanical crack at the edges which was even harder to keep from laughing at after hearing the overly smooth tone it was holding before.

“Aw boo that's way less fun” Ilmarinen blew a short raspberry before continuing “welllll… me and the professor have something of a funny little rivalry yeah? She makes all these beauuutiful machines— like you!” He perks up to smile again and point at Keys “And I… really really really want them, so I try and steal them!! This makes her wanna kill me reaaaal fucking bad. This tracking so far?”

He tilted his head at the robot in front of him, who tilted its own back.

“...You're the guy she calls the scum sucking, grease oiled, paint chugging, mange bitten thief?”

The sheer lack of bite in its deadpan recitation of her insults nearly bowled him out his stool as he howled with laughter, needing to clutch the straps of his harness to keep from falling over as he giggled. Keys didn't look nearly as amused, just tilting its head the other way before something caught its attention and it reached behind its head to fuss with its wig.

“Oh my god… fuckin yeah totally, I dunno who else she'd yell like that at!” He giggled more, there's a reason he's infamous between tinkers and it sure isn't because he asks them nicely for design inspiration. He straightened back up just a little as he wiped away a tear that wasn't there “Fucking crazy that she'd let me steal you right after calling me those things right?”

Keys looked surprised again before a strong furrow hit its eyebrows. “That doesn't sound like the professor at all.”

It was right of course. If Ilmarinen had targeted her stash and tried to get away with Keys as is, Mekhanikus would've probably tried to get his head onto a spike for her next robot to wear into battle or something. But he doesn't run off with armfuls of valuable tech with simple plans like that.

“Oh she's probably real pissed I have you, don't get me wrong… doesn't deserve you if she left you behind to keep one of her other models though does she?” He leaned forward with a smile as he leveled his stare at Keys’ confused expression.

“U-uh… that's not… she…” it looks away for a moment as it's face furrows again— the way the face plates move under the synthetic skin start to make more sense in his head as he sees it more. It sighed and lifted its stare back at him. “She probably anticipated more use out of one of the other models… I do not provide much use outside of scouting, determining passwords and accompanying the professor on civilian or otherwise disguised outings…”

Yes!!! He didn't even have to ask about purpose!!

“...And I've been kept aside for use only in the cases of passwords for almost three months I would say.” There was definite disappointment in its voice. Ilmarinen reeled back some of the excited thoughts that were running wild so he could focus.

“Three months is crazy long for a tinker to avoid using something, even if they kinda use it.” He tried not to let his distaste clear but he wasn't very subtle to begin with. Keys sighed (did it actually move air or was it a recording? He couldn't tell) “She just… must be different. She likes big things, big spectacle and stuff… once she finishes a model she brings them all out for like a big debut of stuff and all that, but then she starts another big model and it'll be… however long again. The combat bots are the only ones who can be sure they'll get used.”

Keys sounded bitterer as it kept talking and Ilmarinen wasn't quite sure how much of the attitude could be attributed to his tweaks but it definitely wasn't talking itself back into the loyalty by the sounds of things. “Is that why she built you the big fancy box? To keep you tucked away while the others are busy fighting or the Professor is too busy to play?” He fought back a smirk at the way Keys started fiddling with its fingers.

Yeah. It'll be his just fine.

“No uh.” Keys gulped and Ilmarinen's full attention was on wondering how before it spoke back up “that's not… what she told me it was for… she said it was a vital part of keeping my body maintained, all the models she builds have to be hooked up to a console in order for maintenance to be completed and for our power sources to charge.” Its resolve returned to its voice at the end as it stared him down.

“Do all the other models get closed up into a little box?”

Its mouth dropped open to protest before it stopped and looked to its knees. “No… Every other model has a small hangar to be hooked up into… the hangars are built into the Professors workshop…” Ilmarinen couldn't help but shake his head.

“I think I'm understanding the picture here, Keys.”

He was trying so so so hard to keep his triumphant smile off his face but he would have to keep it down until this is done. Wouldn't want Keys to get the wrong idea. “Oh yeah. Fuck. Before I start talking about you in this little story, I should probably not be calling you an it all willy nilly, pronouns?” He held out his fist like a microphone and Keys raised an eyebrow. “Uh well… it/its? Unless I'm supposed to be something else for something”

Hot. Damn. He's a goddamn genius.

“Sweet. Weeeell… Your little Professor and I got into another one of our usual spats, yeah? She's rolling out with one of her new models— you called it a debut? She was having a lot of fun with one of those. Doing her usual party thing, fighting a few heroes who were expecting this and all that! I didn't really see much there, I came to the party pretty late!!” He wasn't keeping the smile off his face. Keys wasn't recoiling so he wouldn't fight it down anymore. “No no no, see what I did see is the end of that!”

He snaps a finger. “Silly me, I nearly forgot! I already had you in my trunk by then” he giggled and tapped the side of his head as Keys looked concerned “No see… Professor Mekhanikus knows how anticipated a debut becomes and she really hates that I'm one of the ones to anticipate it, so she always tries to ensure I can't get anything from it” he giggles again “it was a good try at least this time! She likes to pull the classic ‘princess in another castle’ bit against me and move absolutely everything that I could possibly try and copy from her into some fuckin warehouse across town that I can't find on short notice”

Keys wasn't giving him much, just staring as he explains, it looked conflicted but it definitely knew what he was talking about with the Professors game.

“Now that trick only works so good because she can actually get everything there! Her last debut was another day that I went home empty handed so I expected the warehouse swap on the next one, and I hired a few friends to ensure that the transfer process was interrupted!” He was full on grinning now. “The idea was to steal one of the transport trucks entirely or have them be followed all the way to either ensure knowledge of the location or the drivers noticing and turning back to avoid the risk. Circumstances led to that last one”

“That isn't letting you take something!” Keys snapped up a little, holding onto its knees. Ilmarinen just held up a finger.

“I'm getting to that aren't I? Well… warehouse trick or no, your professor decides to debut your new sibling anyway, leaving her workshop guarded by just a few combat models.” He smiled wider. “Your combat ready brethren aren't too bright by the way, I don't know if you knew that... All it took was another visit from my friends from before and I had them leaving the place completely uncovered! I was just about able to walk right in and walk right out with you!” He pouted just a little “of course, the combat models noticed me right then and sent an immediate alert to the professor.”

He leaned over to rest his chin on his hands. Keys’ lips were tight as it kept listening, it didn't have the built in loyalty but it had the memories of its maker, he could tell it felt like he was bragging. Sure, he was, but he still found the details fun. He pouted a little more. “Not all that important is it? No, the important part is that I was paying those friends of mine with something from her workshop. One of her big robots for transport. By the time the professor got back to us with her little debut toy to try and make the fighting go her way— or more like to clean up the mess… you were being loaded into my car!” He tried not to cackle remembering the way Mekhanikus seemed to puff up three times her size in anger when she saw him. “She almost lunged for me right then and there! But instead…”

His face went serious, this was the important part. “Instead, my friends book it to pile into that bot of hers, and while I get to close my trunk and burn rubber outta there, my friends start escaping the other direction and I'll give you one guess who she followed”

Keys didn't have to guess. It looked upset and shook its head lightly “it's like I said… that's one she'd get way more use out of than me, she'll… probably come back to get me”

Ilmarinen just let out a guffaw. “Fat chance!! Anyone who knows anything about me knows, you don't get your shit back once I take it. You're not the only thing I had in my trunk, I took armfuls of what I could to shove in there with you, she probably saw all that too! How much of that is daily use shit for her? She weighed her options between a group driving away in something that she could track down and take away again once they have to stop moving and me taking you potentially forever and she ran after the other guys. For all she knows I'm dismantling you right now!”

He must've come on strong with the way that Keys recoiled and pulled its legs closer. “So… what now then… Do you dismantle me?”

Oh damn he could've just cried at that. “Oh god no! Who do you take me for? I mean I might have to take you apart a little bit assuming that Mekhanikus did her shit any bit right and put a tracker in you, but not… not any sort of permanently. No no no, I want you to stay with me. I'll put you to way better use than that slease on her high horsebot ever did!”

Keys seemed to brighten up. Yes. Yesss…

“Did you… did you change my code?”

Nooooo….

“Yes.” No point in lying. Keys furrows it's brows again. “It wasn't drastic though. I specifically tried to avoid drastic changes so I could meet you as you were. Mostly I just made it so you wouldn't try and hurt me on sight for being one of the Professors enemies.” he tilted his head thoughtfully “... Yeah no! The only real big change is that loyalty thing she put in you! If I didn't turn that whole situation off, then you wouldn't have even believed a word I said! I mean sure, I could point at the fact I have you here and I could open the news so you could see the pictures of her chasing down that other model, but you would just plug your ears and close your eyes because nooo Mekhanikus would never…”

It looked conflicted for a second before covering its face and going still. The internal sounds of mechanics got a little louder before it looked back up at him.

“You… what do you want me for?”

He could feel the grin coming back full force. “To study you first. I have a lot of ideas that I'll need to understand you for, but once that's done…” he tapped his chin before clapping with a grin. “I've always wanted a partner in crime!! You would not believe how shitty it is trying to tinker completely solo, I mean I'm sure others are even more solo, but taking shit from other people and having a real team to bounce ideas off are wayyyy different concepts and I really haven't had a lotta fun with company that I didn't pay to be there in aaages”

“So someone you stole is a nice change of pace?”

He giggled innocently before it devolved into something of a wicked cackle. “C'mon, I'd let you leave if you wanted to go, but you've got an actual untethered brain for once and only a couple tinkers that could really keep you up to snuff. So I mean, fine by me if you wanna try and go back and have your leash reinstalled or run away to try and find someone else to maintain you or…” he leaned back in his stool and hooked his thumbs in his pockets “you could stay with the guy who cared enough to clean up that brain of yours, and maybe help him fulfill his wish of modifying one of Mekh’s bots to be so much better it pisses her off. Whaddya think? Got any features you think she skimped out on?”

Keys was quiet for a moment as it stared at him, eyes pointed and focused as it assessed everything in front of it.

“Well… I've always wanted to try eating.”

[olde-scratch]

Trick or Treat

i was going to give you a screenshot from the zombie fic but that's already published so instead you get writing from like maybe 2 or 3 years ago? from a witch hat atelier idea i had

basically the idea i had was that a howls moving castle fan gets isekaid into the body of a small child in wha named maddock who followed some witches into a forest of silverwood trees and got found out, then erased his memory.

they aren't born into a family of witches, so they decide to be a doctor instead BUT their modern medical knowledge gets them chased out cause they live in a very small town and after training under the town doctor (cinerea, but i gotta change her name cause ive mixed around the n and the r way too many times) for not that long they suddenly know how to read and write like royalty and also act like they aged an extra twenty years. maybe they get accused of learning the secret of magic? not sure.

anyways they instead become a toymaker that basically embodies everything howl movingcastle (even using howl's name cause "maddock" is a wanted fugitive) and build up their business making toys (tho later on when they can afford it, they crochet mostly because its very easy and they probably did it before being isekaid). they run into qifrey and beldaruit who purchase a toy, qifrey ends up returning a few times to have it fixed or something and eventually brings olruggio. cue friendship. orufrey canon, no i do not accept criticism.

some time passes and maddock ends up being a cool uncle for the kids at the atelier, etc etc, i think eventually he gets found out and interrogated? maybe he gets put in the prison cell that one guy busts out of by killing his cellmate and has to watch that happen, and he escapes and sees qifrey and coco?

that's exactly where wha was at when i read it and i have NOT kept up, so that's as far as i can get. i never wrote it because i really prefer things be complete before i write fics for them (tho sometimes i have no respect for canon and ignore that, like with bnha)

i do also think that maddock would try to study magic as much as he can, and that he'd be immune to further mind wipes because he's Special. i have some self indulgence ideas i like to think abt from time to time where coco discovers that maddock knows how to use magic in a life-or-death scenario, and another one where maddock has to pretend to have his memory erased while also not having the patience since he has a whole business to run.

(just realized i started this post w maddock as a they but he ended it a he. maddock is definitely a he and i think the person he was before he isekaid was at least masc-aligned.)

[yourbuerokrat2]

@kassandragreyson Picard and the Enterprise meeting the Toymaker by themselves would be interesting. Because first, why would the Toymaker even get the idea to play with them? But then I remembered how Q does tend to talk about Picard and his crew when he is somewhere else. So in a scenario, where he and the Toymaker hang out from time to time it would not be all that far fetched for Q to start to go on about Picard and his little crew which would get the curiosity of the Toymaker. Now, one does not really go out on their own to play with someone elses toys especially if that someone is a tad bit more pwerful than oneself. But considering this reads like Q considers Picards run-in with the Toymaker as another lesson Q would let him.

And the thing with Picard and his crew meeting the Toymaker is that at first they really might make the mistake of thinking that he is going to treat them like Q does. Especially since just like Q the Toymaker has a thing for making an entrance, putting on a bit of a show, etc. So Picard really could do the mistake of talking to the Toymaker like he does with Q. (Which really brings up the question on wetheer Picard or really anyone on the Enterprise aside from potentially Data is aware that the only reason Picard and any of them can be 'like that' with an omnipotent being who could throw the Enterprise into a black hole like a frisbee is because Q has a soft sport for humans and especially their captain.)

The Toymaker can only turn people into puppets when they lose a game and then I thought, maybe the Senior crew, making the same mistake as Picard by assuming the Toymaker is more like Q, would let themselves get talked and threatened into playing Poker with him.

I would not say, that Picard cannot handle a 'bloody nose' because my poor guy has been through a lot and still came out of it. But so far what he got out of were things he got put through by organics and almost-organic (Borgs) but there are other things out there. Horrors like the Toymaker that Picard being a simple human simply cannot deal with. But Q can, because Q is one of the horrors the universe provides himself.

I think what would really drive Picard to desperation is seeing a glimpse into the Toymakers dimension and the Toymaker making it clear that he is going to take all of his 'new toys' aka Picards senior crew with him to play with them there and once he is done they are just going to become another part of his collection. Permanently.

(Maybe at one point Picard even offered to play a game with the Toymaker in the hopes that however slim the chance of winning was that he could get his crew back. But the Toymaker declined because even though he would love to play with him, he knows that an 'old friend of mine' would get really upset if he took his favorite toy away from him. )

And the only solution and the only hope Picard has left is Q. Considering the alternative fate of his crew, I do not even think that Picard would have to bite back his pride all that much because the horror would understandably be too great.

Q making a big entrance for himself because if he is going to be Picards Knight in Shining Amrmor he is going to be so in style.

The Toymaker would probably not be all that surprised, because I think he would be able to sense Q watching and having thought that if Q really disapproved of any of this he would have arrived or communicated something with him much earlier. Furthermore deciding to humor Q by speaking in an ancient language maybe not even seeing why the humans even need to understand what two omnipotent beings are saying to each other.

I can just picture NPH in the Toymakers outfit and Q trying to be all threatening with his aura and his sparkling eyes. The Toymaker being like 'Oh so this is also part of the play?' Q making it very clear that the Enterprise and Picard are off-limits and the Toymaker not entirely understanding Qs reaction becauses Q had been watching them the entire time so the Toymaker had thought that Q was 'enjoying the show' and Q admitting that he was but he needs Picard to see that he can actually rely on Q and that he needs him. Which the Toymaker would find amusing and a bit confusing until the idea comes 'oh you are playing the long game to get him'. In the end with more than a bit of a dramatic flair, after Q tells him that he is just going to introduce the Toymaker to other 'toys' that would be more to his liking, the Toymaker takes his leave as the 'villain' of their little play who was 'threatened and vanquished' by a 'benevolent' god.

The crew and Picard would be very aware that Q got them free the arguement that they are Qs 'toys' or whatever Q sees them as but I do not think that anyone especially Picard would mind Qs 'possessiveness' over them after that.

Picard would actually be so glad to see the 'door' to that horrible dimension disappear together with the Toymaker.

Even if there would be an immeasurable amount of fondness in Qs eyes when Picard smiles back at him and a certain self-satisfaction.

And when Q makes a comment that borders on condescension about Picard needing his help than Picard would let it slide due to the horrible reminder about what could have been if Q did not have such a strong interest in helping Picard out.

(also credits to @kemenwati for the fanart of Q

https://www.tumblr.com/kemenwati/649100070238683136/this-is-my-first-work-on-a-graphics-tablet-pas)

@yourbuerokrat2 brought up a very interesting AU where Q and Toymaker are interacting one with another.

It was in my head for quite a while that Q cannot be the only one spoiled self-concentrated narcisitc hypocrite entity that terrorize little mortals out of fun and exhaustion of existing.

It would be really fun to see how Q would introduce Picard to Toymaker or Picard by accident bumps into him during one of the Enterprise's mission.

I mean. In one way, Q would show Picard that the borg or even him are not the worst. Partly desiring to scare Picard out of pure worring for his life out there and partly to prove a point that Picard needs him to continue his little itty bitty explorations.

In another, if Picard would meet Toymaker by himself, without Q, what would it be?

Obviously he would not like to be a toy and be toyed with, thanks he already has one omnipotent child, and he would not appropriate over playing a theater play that Toymaker would arrange. But Toymaker isn't Q and he would get mad.

Just like Sisko to Q, he would not tolerate a naughty attitude towards his personá. He would not take Picard's temper and that probably would cause a dramatical problem for Picard as he is used to Q and his little mischievousness but this is another level.

Picard hasn't been in contact with any other member of Q Continuum or someone like them to explore the methods of dealing with this sort of creatures. (Mayby Q did spook them away or they just not interested in middle aged balding man, wr can't know for sure.)

So when the Toymaker arrives, Jean-Luc is helpless and useless in front of the real danger like him. Watching his crew being turned into puppet and played in a little scenes makes his stomach flip inside out and turn around. He is sick. He is scared. He is just a mortal after all.

His regular tactic does not work and for the first time he realizes that Q was right: he does not belong in the open space. He cannot handle a little bloody nose and God he should have just shut the fuck up.

And that's where he calls for Q, desperately and hopefully. Q, of course, already saw what was happening and he was that close to kick the Toymaker out in one of the backhoes he would make specifically for him. But then he waited, not that he liked that but he needed Picard to understand. He needed him to get to the realization. Pushing Picard never worked but maybe through his own mistakes, letting his human make a misstep will bring this stubborn man some sense?

Q is here to help. To be here when needed. He is his guarantee that nothing ever will harm Enterprise and especially Jean-Luc.

Just a little time and the right enemy/friend

And Vjola!

Picard has never been so happy to see Q and if not the fact that his crew needed him he would even give Q a hug.

But for now, he just has to watch how entity gets rid of the Toymaker, talking to him in some sort of old ancient language Picard has no idea about, with his glowing eyes and sparking aura.

When Q is done he turns to Picard and he smiles.

Jean-Luc smiles back and quietly asks Q to fix his friends.

Entity is pleased to serve and does as he is asked.

For the first time Picard is truly glad to see Q aboard his ship and be around him.

For the first time Q was thankful to Toymaker and glad that Picard got a little bit closer to understanding of their bond and his need in Q.

Maybe with time, he will admit that he needs Q as much as Q needs Jean-Luc.

[keyleth-clay]

I genuinely love Callopea and I hope that it goes fully canon.

Not because a ship has to go “fully canon” to be legitimate, or to be enjoyed by the fandom, but because I think the dynamic between Fearne and Chetney is so different from the vast majority of ships that we’ve seen on Critical Role so far.

Because the thing is, I feel like a lot of the fandom kind of sees Callopea as a joke? And not just goofy or lighthearted, but kind of mean-spirited. Like, the idea that this could ever be a “legitimate” ship or that it has any meaning to it is laughable. (This is also kind of reflected in fanworks, since there’s basically no art of them, and there’s like... two people making gifs. In comparison to pairings like Imodna or Dorym which, while I do also ship, there is arguably less concrete evidence of in canon at this point in time).

Which I don’t think is true! I think there’s a lot of depth to both Chetney and Fearne, despite being largely comedic characters, and I think there’s also a lot of potential depth to their relationship, despite it being largely played for laughs.

Take Chetney, for example. I think the depth of his character is best summed up with this quote from The Night Before Critmas (and yes, I know that was Chutney, but he was the basis for the character):

“He told me to make Voltron out of wood. No one wanted it. He told me to make a Game Boy. I can't do circuits. He told me to make the little trolls, but the hair didn't move.”

Again, yes it’s comedic, but the core idea of the character was here – because Chetney/Chutney isn’t just talking about toys. He’s talking about himself. A huge part of this character is dealing with the feeling of obsolescence, of the world moving on without you and you not being needed anymore. That same idea also shows up with Bertrand at the beginning of the campaign, and I don’t think that’s an accident, and I don’t think Travis is doing that just for the joke.

Growing older can be scary. Feeling like you’re out of touch with the world, or that you aren’t needed anymore, or that you just don’t understand things anymore – that’s scary. In a way, it feels like parts of the fandom treat a character being old as a punchline – it sometimes feels like the very idea of a character being elderly, and an elderly character wanting some form of intimate relationship in particular, is worthy of mockery.

I’m sure we’ve all seen commercials or interviews or something that contain some variation on “as we age, our need for intimacy does not diminish”. Yes, Chetney has flyaway white hair and wrinkles and a squeaky old voice and a hat he’s almost laughably attached to and goofy curly toed boots, and he is still deserving of love, and that isn’t a joke. Not that that love needs to be romantic love, necessarily, but love nonetheless.

And I think that it makes perfect sense that Fearne would be the one to recognize that! For one thing, she’s the only one in Bell’s Hells that is anywhere near his age (though there is still a noticeable gap, but who knows how the fuck time works in the Feywild anyways). For another, with her wildshaping and his werewolf transformation, the two of them are the only ones in the group that understand that idea of letting animalistic instinct take over, of the freedom of being wild, and also the occasional lack of control or fear that can come with it. Not to mention both of their… impulsive morals.

But there’s two more ways I feel that these two connect, which are even deeper than what I previously mentioned – one of which I only realized after this most recent episode.

The first is related to this wonderful bit of meta from @captainofthetidesbreath, which I’m not going to reiterate here because a) you should go give them some love, and b) because this is long enough as it is. But to sum it up, Chetney is a toymaker, and takes great pride in that. He takes great joy in seeing other people, especially children, finding joy in what he’s crafted. Out of everyone in Bell’s Hells, I feel that Fearne is the only one who would truly appreciate that. Just look at what he’s made for everybody else – a box, which isn’t a toy. A skyship, which was immediately left behind for a child who would actually play with it and appreciate it. A wooden hand? And a house for Pâté and Sashimi, which is kind of a toy and kind of being played with, but also kind of not.

Fearne, on the other hand, has always had a certain whimsy about her. She enjoys the frivolous, she appreciates the silly, and she makes it a point to collect and steal and have things, simply because they make her happy. That, to me, is closest to the heart of why Chetney is a toymaker in the first place.

The second was something that Fearne said in episode 25. When Dusk showed her the locket that contained the portraits of her parents and that whole conversation started up, Fearne said”

“I don’t know where they are, and I’ve been looking for them, but maybe they just forgot? ‘Cause it’s been a very long time since I’ve seen them.”

I’m very curious as to whether this is a thought that she’s had before during her search for her parents – or if this will continue to weigh on her now that she has thought of it, at least until she’s able to reunite with them.

Because I feel like this ties in with the idea I mentioned above of Chetney feeling obsolete now that he’s gotten older. I could see a real and genuine heart-to-heart happening between them over this. I also wonder – Chetney’s never mentioned any family; no parents, no siblings, and most importantly for this Callopea ship manifesto (apparently), no spouse(s) or children. I get the sense from both of them of just… getting used to being alone and being lonely. That they are genuinely lighthearted and humorous individuals, but that humour does still help to hide some heavier feelings.

CHANGING TOPICS ENTIRELY, I also want to touch on something else that might seem completely counter to everything I’ve written here so far, and that is that this ship doesn’t need to be deep! They don’t need to have a “You know I’m in love with you, right?” or a “My heart belongs to someone else” or a “You were not born with venom in your veins”,  etc etc etc.

A ship doesn’t need to be deep and intense and Romantic-with-a-capital-R to be real and genuine and enjoyable! It can be as simple and light and fun as just two people being attracted to each other and having fun exploring that attraction. Hell, their relationship doesn’t even need to be romantic! I’ve seen people headcanon Fearne as arospec, and I love the idea of a non-romantic but still sexual relationship being explored, and not being treated as lesser because of that.

Hell, they could still end up as a romantic relationship, but start out here, with heavy-handed flirting and overt sexual overtones, and see their relationship as fun but ultimately not particularly meaningful, but then *intense and emotionally-heavy moment later in the campaign happens, especially if one of them nearly dies or does die and is brought back*, and then they realize Oh shit, this isn’t just for funsies, I’ve got real actual romantic feelings for them and I’d be miserable if they were gone. Oh fuck.

And that’s not even touching on the wolf/deer theme they’ve got going on, or the sun/moon vibes that they’re rocking, etc.

Basically there’s just… SO much potential for Callopea, guys. I can’t wait to see where it goes.

[mapleandgingeroatmeal]

The Chetney Playlist Analysis

A.K.A Orbit spends many hours of her precious fleeting life reading way too into the sings in Travis's playlist because someone had to do it!!

Love to @captainofthetidesbreathetidesbreath for hyping this playlist enough to light a fire under my ass; please if you read this reblog and give me your thoughts!

My analysis will be structured thus: 

1), a disclaimer about wolf imagery in popular media and in this playlist

2), everything we know about Chetney, and about Ch(U)tney, who I’m treating as a separate, but still important for context, character. 

3), a breakdown of each song, pointing out any lyrics that I find particularly significant 

4), Wild speculation about the conclusions that can be drawn by combining parts 2 and 3

5), in which I summarize all of the above and, to the best of my ability, predict the sad life’s story of Chetney Pock O’Pea.

1) A Disclaimer About Werewolves.

These songs all have to do with werewolves; that’s the gimmick of the playlist, that’s the distraction tactic Travis is using to gaslight you into ignoring his own narrative genius. But Chetney’s only been a werewolf for a few months out of his very long life! This means that many of the songs that still involve wolf theming/lyrics probably don’t actually have much to do with that part of him. Wolves are also very popular animals that’ve been used as metaphors in many songs for many purposes over the years. This means it is very possible to pick and choose which wolf-y songs you use to construct a specific narrative. 

2) Ch(E)tney Facts, Ch(U)tney Facts, and the Venn Diagram Between Them

Ch(U)tney was the oldest Elf still working in Santa’s workshop. He’s famous for his actions at the very end of the One-Shot, but he was actually making his anti-santa stance pretty clear from the jump! Remember that whole bit where he tries to convince the crew to abandon Santa, then roles a nat 20 strength check to lift the gift sack and declares a “new world order?” Note that Chutney isn’t just expressing displeasure, but actively trying to convince others to side with him.

Now what do we know about Ch(E)tney? He was also a toymaker, originally from Uthodurn. He, like Ch(U)tney, prefers the old-fashioned way of toy making with wood. He worked for someone named Oltgar, and had to flee the city after a disagreement in which he messed up his boss “something fierce”, as he puts it. Stabbed with a wooden chisel, mayhaps? Those are the biographical details. In terms of personality, Chetney is intelligent, experienced, and considers himself the leadership type (“respect the alpha” and all that). He’s jumpy and blunt, but also observant, emotionally intelligent, and very capable of expressing real sympathy and concern for his teammates. For skillset, besides the obvious wolf stuff, he’s very stealthy and good at using that chisel to do crime. 

So with all that set up, let’s look at the songs!

3) Songs About Fighting (and wolves)

As the title of this section hints, the throughline of most of these songs is how so many of them concern battles; ones in progress, ones lost, and ones about to begin. Speaking of beginning:

Werewolf by The Frantics

No lyrics on this bad boy, only music and howling! Perhaps the only one of these songs that is exactly as simple as Travis sells it. 

Lifeline by Bad Wolves

This one is for sure a cry for help, with lines like “Reaching out, I need a lifeline/I don’t know if I can carry this on my own” reflecting a singer with a burden that’s becoming too much for them. Also important are the lines “It's a dwelling, call it deep insight/When the best no longer tries to fight/The sweetest sugar swoon/The darkest side of moons”

We Will Rock You (feat. Maria Brink, Lzzy Hale and Taylor Momsen) by In this Moment

Chetney’s attitude and life are written all over this song! The verses follow someone from a boy playing on the street, to a young man with big plans, to a poor old man. The middle verse is the most important here, with lines like “fighting in the street, gonna take on the world someday” and “waving your banner all over the place”

Wolf Totem (feat. Jacoby Shaddix) by The Hu

This is definitely about some kind of fight, either one in progress or one that the singer is asserting their willingness to have. Note the lines “We got your back, we all been low, lets all rise to the brethren code.”

Wolves by Selena Gomez & Marshmello

I agree with @Captainofthetidesbreath that this is about a character we haven’t met yet; almost definitely a lost love of some sort, most likely pre-werewolf but sticking with the theme for the sake of the bit.

Fire Inside by Pop Evil

This one’s about staying determined in a fight that you’ve been preparing for. It’s very much in thematic conversation with Wolf Totem and Rock You, with lyrics like “Time to write my story, make history”, and “After all these battles, yeah, I'm ready for war”.

Kidnap The Sandy Claws by The Nightmare Before Christmas Soundtrack

As surface-level obvious as this one’s meaning is, I think it's actually one of the songs that has the biggest hints towards Chetney’s story! This is more fight/battle theming, but more specific than in any song so far. It’s about an organized and collaborated effort to kidnap and harm a specific powerful person. (Yes it is, stop laughing!!)

Seven Nation Army by SKÁLD

Never looked at all the lyrics to this song before! They’re actually a lot more cynical and defeated sounding than you’d think, with lines like “And I'm talking to myself at night/Because I can't forget”, and “I'm going to Wichita/Far from this opera forevermore”. Googling around, the song is about leaving a town where your community has become toxic and turned against you. 

Hollow Moon (Bad Wolf) by AWOLNATION

This song is the first one that I think truly is about being a werewolf. The line “Imma make a deal with the bad wolf, so the bad wolf don’t bite no more” just screams “accepting lycanthropy”. There’s these lines that also read as important to me: “My enemy is a friend of mine in a friendly place to be seen/You know I'll run away for a couple years just to prove I've never been free.” 

Animals by Architects

If there’s like a low point/darkest hour to this story, it’s in this song. The lyrics are desperate and defeatist. The most interesting lyrics for our purposes are: “I dug my heels, I thought that I could stop the rot/The ground gave way, now I've lost the plot”.

Howlin’ for You by The Black Keys

I think this song lives in the same house as the Silena Gomez song does; very romantic, directed towards a character we don’t know about yet.

Thriller by Michael Jackson

Everyone knows whats up with this song. It’s spooky scary! It’s about a person getting attacked and corrupted by monsters late at night, which is exactly what happened to Our Boy Cheyney. 

Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon

A song about a more refined and controlled, but still very dangerous, monster. Maybe a sexy flirty werewolf instead of a terrifying out of control one.

Christmas With The Devil by Spinal Tap

Ok this is the other one that’s pretty surface-level still. Santa but he’s bad and evil and associated with cool badass demon stuff (like werewolves??)

4) Wild (or not so wild) Speculation 

If you’ve been paying attention, there are a few recurring things to tease out. One is fighting; many songs (lifeline, animals, fire inside, wolf totem, and we will rock you) are centered around battles won, lost, and anticipated. Two is organization and teamwork! References to “The Brethren code”, “waving your banner”, and generally battles which are fought with many people. Third is Lycanthropy and how it’s used and related to. Thriller,  Werewolves of London, animals, and hollow moon all fall into this category. 

Now let’s put everything together. Ch(E)tney has a long past with a company that (assuming from Chutney) does not appreciate his work appropriately. Ch(U)tney had a history of convincing people to give up on Santa, and Chetney’s playlist contains many songs about organized groups and violence. We know Chetney is the leadership type. He has strong convictions, violence in his soul, and the ability to be both smart and extremely empathetic and charming when need be. “But Orbit”, you say, “Chetney is a toymaker, which is a traditionally peaceful profession! Who would he be fighting?” The answer to that of course, is Santa Clause! Or Otgar in this case. For a while it was vague speculation, but now I am fully convinced that Chetney was the leader of some kind of violent worker’s uprising in Uthodurn. He’s got all the perfect qualities needed in a union rep, especially a rep who’s maybe willing to start an entire revolt for the cause. A revolt that cumulates in the kidnap and mutilation of his boss, Otgar.

5) Putting It Together: The Ballad(s) of Chetney Pock O’Pea.

I’m going to organize this part by rearranging the songs into what I’d consider “chronological” order, and the story as I’m predicting it will form around the songs. This is very speculative obviously, and I’m painting in very broad strokes because I don’t want to go very far beyond what I can glean from the information we already have.

We Will Rock You goes first because it describes a boy, the youngest Chetney we see, and goes all the way up until Chetney is already an old man. This is the point at which the story Travis is telling seems to start. The song fast forwards through childhood and most of adulthood, into Chetney’s old age. Any sort of worker’s rebellion he started didn’t occur until this point. One day there’s a breaking point, when he realizes that his job will never appreciate him despite years of service, and he decides to do something about it in Seven Nation Army. This choice leads to Wolf Totem, a song with lyrics that call people who’ve been laid low to fight, to answer the call of a code. That sure sounds like a worker’s union rallying cry to me! So Chetney’s been calling unhappy workers to action against Otgar, and then we have a song about whatever riots actually occur in Fire Inside. This is also where I’m going to place the two sings that (credit to @captainofthetidesbreath for this idea) I am convinced relate to an important player in Chetney’s story that we haven’t met yet, probably a romantic figure of some kind. Howlin’ For You and Wolves both fit here, in that order. 

So we have this worker’s revolt, and maybe its not going well orhas reached a stalemate. How do you escalate things and ensure someone hears your demands? Simple! You Kidnap The Sandy Clause! Chetney’s rouge skills have gotta come in handy somewhere in this backstory! After the kidnapping comes Christmas With The Devil, and presumably whatever kind of negotiation/torture Chetney puts his boss through. However that plays out, we know it doesn’t end well. The revolution fails, and Chetney is kicked out of the city by the glass blades with his boss injured badly but alive.

So here’s where things get wolfy! We’ve been told this part, at least loosely. In Thriller, Cheyney is alone at night, attacked by something horrific. He fights for his life, but he can’t resist the thriller (i.e the lycanthropy curse) once it hits him. The next morning he has to sit an take stock of what’s happened to him, in Hollow Moon. He decides in that moment that this is a power he can “make a deal” with, that can be a friend in helping him get tey revenge he wants in a few years. So Chetney spends a few months with the wolf, which proves to be a bigger struggle then he imagined. He’s drowning, he’s lost the plot, he’s got the attitude in Animals. This leads to admitting to himself that he needs help, and Lifeline sees him finally seeking out The Bells in what becomes the sweetest song in the playlist with that context. Finally, Werewolves of London is a fun song that’s caught up with Chetney as he is now. Dangerous, fun, getting used to his powers and living it up flirting with big women in the city.

Wow that was a lot! Please argue with me in the reblogs, I want to talk to people about this small angry man so badly that I wrote 2,000 words about it.