#to hit is to hold.

[possessionsofgod]

My greatest pleasure is to nurse you back to health from wounds that I enjoyed inflicting.

[mwagneto]

what the world looks like after a big cup of lemonade

[egophiliac]

missed the mark by (looks at calendar) uhhh. hm. but I really wanted to do something for the 5th anniversary! happy five years to these idiots 🎉

[soulmvtes]

sunday nights are for reflecting on your entire life and the fragile state of your present moment and what the future may look like

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Brucie Wayne gets into a mild accident in public (read-got hit by a car). And Batman would just walk it off (“it’s barely a bruise”), but Brucie obviously… can’t.

So he has to suffer the ordeal of having civilians call paramedics, getting fussed over, and having-

Having his dead son get into the back of the ambulance with him.

Oh- oh no. He must have hit his head worse than he thought. He thought he was past this…

[brie-annwyl]

Jason and Damian meeting at the league but Batfam doesn’t know Jason’s alive is one of my favourite fanfic tropes.

Dick, in his hoe era talking about getting beat tf up by some girl’s boyfriend: I genuinely thought the dude was gonna kill me! I was framed, I swear! Istg someone must’ve planted a strawberry handkerchief on me or something.

Damian, barely listing: was that an Othello reference?

Tim: how did you know that? I didn’t even catch that.

Damian: it was ja- *long pause ensues*

Tim: is his programming malfunctioning?

Dick: Ja??

Damian, brain farting: yep. “Ja”

*frantically messaging Jason saying he almost broke his cover*

—

Damian, annotating Jason’s old copies of the classics: I forgot how much of an idiot you were back then. *takes sticky note off page* “RIP queen, this is actually so depressing.” Yeah, Ophelia just died. Way to state the obvious.

Dick: ??

Damian:

Damian: I’m a medium. He-uh, talks to me.

Dick: oh okay- wait. What?

—

Damian, sneaking back into the manor after having a visit with Jason: *tip toeing his way to the stairs*

Bruce, waiting in the living room with a lamp: Damian, Where were you?

Damian, who can’t improv for shit: uh-

Bruce: *eyebrow raise*

Damian: I was kidnapped by red hood *runs upstairs*

—

Bruce, in his feels era: I wish jaylad was around to see this.

Damian, not thinking: can we not just ask him to come over?

Bruce:

Damian:

Bruce: what-

Damian: we can use a ouija board. That’s how I communicate with him.

Bruce, concerned: what???

[soapbbox]

In regards to the cog-less megs comic: im sure op would be sooo normal and well adjusted if he found out abt that happening/saw him without his cog

I was actually working on another (angst) version of this but you get the funny haha version first :3 Bee and Elita are giving Optimus a 10 minute window before they intervene (they’ve seen OP moping around and are hoping this will help him get some it out of his system. They’ll have to step in at some point or else he probably won’t let go).

Why he’s small here and here

[valictini]

I’ve already said it, I’ll say it again, Mal du Pays is such a visceral and clever word to describe Siffrin’s Sadness. When I first saw it in game it genuinely made me pause like. Yes, it translates to homesickness. But it has the literal word for country in it. “Country sickness”. For a guy whose core problem is that his childhood, his culture, his country is missing. One could argue it’s a twisted pun. I’m obsessed with it.

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

#BRB FUCKING SOBBING RIGHT NOW 😭😭😭😭

[cultivating-wildflowers]

You want me to turn on automatic software updates? The thing that made Murderbot commit mass murder?

[im-tired-101]

something something seawatt making himself forever remembered in parkour civilization through false memories to make sure he doesn't end up forgetten like his home level something something seawatt and chain imagery

[possessionsofgod]

You feel inside of me (sex) and I feel inside of you (cutting your torso open without anesthesia and shoving my hands inside to fondle your organs.)

[yuwuta]

hitting it raw is fun and sexy and all but not more than clawing at a boy and you both being so desperate for each other and barely getting out that you guys should use condoms and watching him trip over all your shed clothes on the floor and dig through nightstand drawers and bathroom cabinets like a madman on a wild goose hunt and cheer when he finally finds them and run back to you with so much excitement and watching his brain re-freeze when he realizes he’s about to fuck you 

[fairybasketsxo]

before summer ends whos going on the t4t group camping trip that ends with everyone coupled up by the fire after a long day. all a lil buzzed and teasing each other. everyone going from whispers and subtle touches to more blatant and obscene. groping and making out and .. um. camping

[bonus-links]

a collection of birthday requests from the $5 tier on patreon! realized I never posted these here

[disgracefulthings]

AU where, after throwing Luo Binghe into the abyss and Shen Qingqiu stops eating because the food on his peak is too bland, he discovers that a. Shang Qinghua is a good cook and b. that it's very similar to Binghe's cooking. He decides to have his meals over on An Ding, which confuses his fellow peak lords, but they are also very relieved because he is actually eating.

When Luo Binghe escapes from the abyss he ends up hearing rumors about this, and sees Shang Qinghua as a romantic rival. Instead of taking over HHP, he decides to open a restaurant because clearly the way into his Shizun's heart isn't to become a respected cultivator, but through his stomach. Shang Qinghua does have one thing over Binghe, and that's his ability to make modern dishes that Shen Qingqiu misses.

Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua are very confused and have no idea what Binghe's restaurant has to do with his plans for revenge, and they think it's safe for Shang Qinghua to go in to spy because Luo Binghe would want nothing to do with him.

However, when Luo Binghe spots Shang Qinghua in his restaurant, he challenges him to a cooking competition with Shen Qingqiu as the one and only judge. Shang Qinghua doesn't want to die, so he agrees, but he is afraid that Binghe would take Shen Qingqiu if he loses, so he decides that he needs to out cook Binghe to save Shen Qingqiu's life.

Shen Qingqiu has no idea what's going on (classic Shen Qingqiu) and agrees to judge. Binghe makes him his favorite dish from Qing Jing Peak, while Shang Qinghua makes him his favorite modern dish.

In the end, Shen Qingqiu can't choose because both of the dishes are really good, and Binghe breaks down, saying that if Shen Qingqiu really likes Shang Qinghua's cooking, then he is willing for both of them to marry Shen Qingqiu.

Shang Qinghua, who had no idea that those were the stakes, backs out of the competition because he had no interest in marrying his bro (Mobei-Jun has been stewing in jealousy this whole time and decided that in order to win Shang Qinghua's heart, he needed to cook for him. When it's revealed that Shang Qinghua doesn't love Shen Qingqiu, he takes him back to his palace and presents him with all the food he has learned to make. While not as good as the protagonist's, Shang Qinghua is still moved because he never thought anyone would make something for him, much less his spoiled king)

Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe do make up and get married, and Binghe reluctantly asks Shang Qinghua advice for making modern meals