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pearlprincess02 · 4 months ago

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academia sign as 𝔞𝔠𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔞 𝔞𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔠𝔰

academia (829)

𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔬𝔱𝔦𝔠 𝔞𝔠𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔞

aries / 1st house academia: aries in academia approaches learning with enthusiasm and a pioneering spirit. they thrive in competitive environments, enjoying subjects that allow them to take the lead, such as sports science, entrepreneurship, or anything requiring bold, innovative thinking. their learning style is hands-on and action-oriented, preferring to dive into projects rather than sit through lectures. quick to grasp new concepts, aries students excel in fast-paced, dynamic settings where they can showcase their initiative and drive. they are natural leaders in group work, often inspiring others with their energy and passion.

chaotic academia vibes: red bull, coffee, late-night study sessions, messy desk, sticky notes everywhere, highlighters galore, backpack overflowing, headphones tangled, running late, cramming, competitive studying, impulsive learning, last-minute cramming, energetic study sessions, motivational posters, pomodoro technique, study groups, mind maps, flash cards, music playlists

major & minor in college: history, english, psychology, theater, business, creative writing, philosophy, computer science, art history, sociology

𝔡𝔞𝔯𝔨 𝔞𝔠𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔞

taurus / 2nd house academia: taurus in academia is methodical and steady, approaching learning with patience and determination. they excel in subjects that involve tangible results or a connection to nature, such as agriculture, culinary arts, or finance. taurus students prefer a structured learning environment, where they can take their time to absorb information deeply and thoroughly. they have a strong memory and excel in retaining facts, often mastering subjects through repetition and consistent effort. their learning style is practical and grounded, focusing on real-world applications and long-term value.

dark academia vibes: leather-bound notebooks, vintage fountain pen, cozy sweater, warm coffee, comfortable armchair, candles, classical music, antique bookshelves, quiet library, natural light, slow & steady approach, consistent studying, structured routine, mindful studying, note-taking, reading extensively, researching deeply, essay writing, critical thinking, patience & perseverance,

major & minor in college: literature, history, art history, philosophy, classical studies, music, latin, greek, anthropology, environmental studies,

scorpio / 8th house academia: scorpio in academia is intensely focused and driven, diving deep into subjects that fascinate them, especially those involving psychology, criminology, or anything that uncovers hidden truths. they are natural researchers, drawn to mysteries and complexities, excelling in environments that require investigative skills and critical thinking. scorpio students prefer to study in private, where they can immerse themselves fully without distractions. they have a talent for uncovering details that others might overlook, and their determination to master a subject is unmatched. passionate and resilient, scorpio learners often emerge as experts in their chosen fields.

dark academia vibes: black coffee, leather jacket, intricate jewelry, vintage records, haunted library, gothic architecture, mysterious aura, intense gaze, quiet solitude, deep thoughts, intense focus, deep research, analytical thinking, critical analysis, debating, persuasive writing, problem-solving, independent study, night owl, passionate learning,

major & minor in college: psychology, philosophy, criminal justice, history, political science, sociology, anthropology, mythology, astronomy, creative writing,

𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔯𝔢 𝔞𝔠𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔞

gemini / 3rd house academia: gemini in academia is curious and versatile, thriving in environments where they can explore a wide range of subjects. they are natural communicators, excelling in fields like journalism, linguistics, or social sciences, where their quick wit and love for information can shine. gemini students prefer a dynamic, interactive learning environment, enjoying discussions, debates, and collaborative projects. their learning style is fast-paced and adaptable, allowing them to pick up new concepts with ease and shift focus between topics effortlessly. always eager to learn something new, gemini keeps their mind sharp by continuously seeking knowledge in various fields.

theatre academia vibes: script book, makeup bag, costumes, props, rehearsal space, stage lights, backstage passes, playbills, acting classes, impromptu performances, versatility, adaptability, improvisation, memorization, public speaking, character analysis, script analysis, ensemble work, storytelling, critical thinking

major & minor in college: theater, english, creative writing, communication studies, film studies, music, dance, history, psychology, sociology,

𝔠𝔬𝔷𝔶 𝔞𝔠𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔞

cancer / 4th house academia: cancer in academia is intuitive and emotionally connected to their studies, often drawn to subjects that resonate with their personal experiences, such as history, literature, or psychology. they excel in environments that feel nurturing and supportive, preferring to learn in a space where they feel safe and comfortable. cancer students have a strong memory, especially for details that evoke an emotional response, and they often approach learning with empathy and care. their learning style is reflective and deep, focusing on understanding the emotional and human aspects of any subject. sensitive to the needs of others, cancer can also be a compassionate and supportive peer in group settings.

cozy academia vibes: knitting needles, teacup, soft blanket, candles, cozy armchair, bookshelf filled with sentimental books, family photos, journal, soft music, homemade snacks, emotional intelligence, empathy, nurturing oneself, creating a comfortable study space, mindful studying, journaling, connecting with others, supporting others, patience & perseverance, emotional regulation

major & minor in college: english, history, psychology, sociology, social work, counseling, child development, family studies, art history, creative writing

𝔯𝔬𝔶𝔞𝔩 𝔞𝔠𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔞

leo / 5th house academia: leo in academia is confident and expressive, thriving in subjects where they can showcase their creativity and leadership, such as performing arts, literature, or leadership studies. they enjoy being at the center of discussions and excel in environments where their ideas and talents are recognized. leo students are passionate learners who bring enthusiasm to their studies, often inspiring others with their energy and charisma. their learning style is dynamic and interactive, preferring presentations and group projects where they can shine. with a natural flair for storytelling and self-expression, leo often excels in areas that allow them to be both creative and influential.

royal academia vibes: crown-shaped stationery, velvet robes, gold jewelry, vintage fountain pen, grand library, ornate furniture, elegant calligraphy, classical music, high-quality textbooks, personalized study supplies, confidence, leadership, public speaking, motivation, goal setting, networking, presentation skills, time management, creativity, passion

major & minor in college: history, political science, business, theater, art history, music, philosophy, classical studies, public relations, creative writing

𝔟𝔬𝔱𝔞𝔫𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔩 𝔞𝔠𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔞

virgo / 6th house academia: virgo in academia is analytical and detail-oriented, excelling in subjects that require precision and critical thinking, such as mathematics, science, or technical writing. they have a strong work ethic and prefer structured learning environments where they can methodically work through complex problems. virgo students are diligent researchers, often going above and beyond to ensure they fully understand a topic, and they have a knack for organizing information logically. their learning style is meticulous and focused, thriving on clear instructions and practical applications. with a keen eye for detail, virgo often excels in areas that demand accuracy and thoroughness.

botanical academia vibes: herbarium, plant journal, botanical prints, terrarium, gardening tools, natural light, plant-based stationery, herbal tea, nature-inspired décor, organized study space, organization, planning, time management, detail-oriented approach, note-taking, researching, problem-solving, critical thinking, patience, perseverance

major & minor in college: biology, environmental science, botany, horticulture, chemistry, agriculture, nutrition, health sciences, art history, creative writing

𝔯𝔬𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔠 𝔞𝔠𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔞

libra / 7th house academia: libra in academia is balanced and diplomatic, drawn to subjects that involve relationships, aesthetics, and justice, such as law, art, or social sciences. they excel in collaborative learning environments, enjoying discussions and group projects where they can exchange ideas and mediate differing opinions. libra students have a natural talent for seeing multiple perspectives, which makes them excellent at analyzing complex issues and finding harmonious solutions. their learning style is interactive and social, thriving in settings that allow for cooperation and mutual respect. with a strong sense of fairness and a love for beauty, libra often excels in areas that combine intellectual rigor with creativity.

romantic academia vibes: love letters, poetry collection, vintage jewelry, soft/pastel colors, romantic novels, flower arrangements, classical music, art galleries, beautiful stationery, cozy cafes, collaboration, harmony, diplomacy, balance, aesthetic appreciation, empathy, persuasion, critical thinking, creativity, open-mindedness

major & minor in college: english, history, art history, philosophy, psychology, sociology, communication studies, music, creative writing, design

𝔞𝔡𝔳𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔰 𝔞𝔠𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔞

sagittarius / 9th house academia: sagittarius in academia is adventurous and curious, drawn to subjects that expand their horizons, such as philosophy, travel, or global studies. they thrive in environments that offer freedom and exploration, preferring to learn through experience, travel, and broad, open-ended discussions. sagittarius students have a natural enthusiasm for big ideas and are often inspired by the pursuit of knowledge that challenges conventional thinking. their learning style is spontaneous and wide-ranging, excelling in areas where they can explore different cultures, beliefs, and philosophies. with an innate love for wisdom and truth, sagittarius often excels in fields that encourage lifelong learning and intellectual growth.

adventurous academia vibes: travel journal, global map, adventure novels, passport, backpack, camping gear, telescope, world atlas, foreign language textbooks, wanderlust-themed stationery, curiosity, open-mindedness, exploration, adaptability, risk-taking, global perspective, intercultural communication, problem-solving, independent study, passion for learning

major & minor in college: history, geography, anthropology, philosophy, foreign languages, international studies, environmental science, economics, creative writing, journalism

𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔞𝔠𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔞

capricorn / 10th house academia: capricorn in academia is disciplined and strategic, favoring subjects that offer practical applications and long-term value, such as business, engineering, or finance. they excel in structured, goal-oriented environments where they can set clear objectives and work methodically towards achieving them. capricorn students have a strong work ethic and are adept at managing their time efficiently, often thriving on detailed planning and rigorous analysis. their learning style is focused and persistent, with a preference for mastering foundational concepts before advancing. with a keen sense of responsibility and determination, capricorn often excels in areas that require patience and sustained effort.

winter academia vibes: thick coat, scarf, warm coffee, cozy sweater, planner, bookshelf filled with textbooks, quiet study space, pen & paper, minimalist décor, structured routine, discipline, time management, goal setting, planning, persistence, problem-solving, critical thinking, researching, note-taking, long-term planning

major & minor in college: business, economics, law, political science, accounting, engineering, computer science, mathematics, history, philosophy

𝔣𝔲𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔠 𝔞𝔠𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔞

aquarius / 11th house academia: aquarius in academia is innovative and independent, gravitating towards subjects that involve technology, future trends, or social change, such as engineering, environmental science, or sociology. they thrive in learning environments that encourage original thinking and unconventional approaches, often preferring to explore new ideas and challenge established norms. aquarius students are skilled at grasping complex, abstract concepts and enjoy engaging in collaborative projects that push boundaries and promote collective progress. their learning style is progressive and exploratory, with a strong inclination towards experimenting with novel methods and solutions. with a keen interest in improving the world, aquarius often excels in fields that foster creativity and forward-thinking.

futuristic academia vibes: smartwatch, laptop, tech gadgets, futuristic eyewear, minimalist design, neon lights, sci-fi novels, futuristic architecture, virtual reality headset, sustainable products, innovation, problem-solving, critical thinking, future-oriented thinking, collaboration, interdisciplinary learning, ethical considerations, lifelong learning, adaptability, social consciousness

major & minor in college: computer science, engineering, physics, astronomy, artificial intelligence, environmental science, sociology, political science, psychology, philosophy

𝔬𝔠𝔢𝔞𝔫 𝔞𝔠𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔞

pisces / 12th house academia: pisces in academia is imaginative and intuitive, drawn to subjects that explore the arts, spirituality, or the human psyche, such as creative writing, music, or psychology. they excel in environments that allow for introspection and creative expression, often thriving in less structured settings that encourage personal interpretation and emotional depth. pisces students have a unique ability to grasp abstract concepts and connect disparate ideas, making them skilled at synthesizing information in innovative ways. their learning style is fluid and adaptable, with a preference for exploring topics through personal experiences and intuitive insights. with a deep sense of empathy and creativity, pisces often excels in fields that involve understanding and expressing the complexities of the human experience.

ocean academia vibes: seashells, aquarium, ocean-themed stationery, beach towel, nautical decor, marine biology books, beach reads, ocean-inspired jewelry, dreamcatcher, calming music, intuition, empathy, creativity, imagination, meditation, mindfulness, visualization, dream journaling, connection with nature, emotional intelligence

major & minor in college: marine biology, oceanography, environmental science, psychology, art history, creative writing, music, philosophy, sociology, religious studies,

all observations belong to @pearlprincess02

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utterdisaster1 · 5 months ago

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The Teenage Foolishness

Pairing: Sirius Black x male!reader angst at certain point, kinda smut at another. If you haven't read the previous post/chapter whatever, Y/N is muggle-born

Hope you like it! TW: use of Y/N, internalised homophobia, pining, erotic thoughts, erotic things in general, AMAB! reader, swearing, mentions of war, mentions of toxic family

After the first year, the following two were not particularly remarkable. That is not to say that the days were mundane, or that nothing interesting ever happened; rather, you were immersed in a routine devoid of anything exceptional to distinguish it.

You and the rest of the Marauders—a nickname coined by Lily of all people - "Unbelievable! You cost us 50 points, and for what?! Marauding around the castle like vagabonds… I cannot comprehend what is so special or enjoyable about being as much of a nuisance as Peeves!" - continued to pursue your intention of making the most of your years at the school, pranking those who deserved it (mainly the Slytherins) and not taking life too seriously

At times, you felt that James and Sirius, in particular, went a little overboard in targeting a specific individual, but simultaneously, he gave as good as he got, so you did not see much issue with the clear rivalry between your group and Severus Snape.

You continued to learn, to excel, and to immerse yourself in magical education, relentless in your persuit of knowing everything.

In your third year, you began tutoring some first-years in Transfiguration and Charms. You also encountered your first struggle - Arithmancy.

You chose it alongside Ancient Runes and Care of Magical Creatures as your electives, thinking it wouldn’t be too challenging.

You did enjoy the Creatures class the most and found Ancient Runes, which included lessons on enchanting objects, warding, and curse-breaking, truly fascinating. You were always eager for those classes.

But Arithmancy… You thought it would simply be wizarding maths, but it was far from that. You barely scraped by in it and fully intended to drop it before fifth year. Spell-crafting be damned; if you had to read one more paragraph on the properties of numbers and shapes, you felt like you might spontaneously combust. And preparing for an OWL in it… that would be unbearable.

Another struggle that began in third year was dealing with feelings. Suddenly, you started experiencing peculiar emotions. Of course, there had been boys who caught your eye before, but it had never been significant. However, the affections you might have had, or not, seemed to grow in intensity.

Suddenly, instead of a mere sense of admiration, a deep longing emerged. You would catch yourself imagining how delightful it would be to walk hand in hand with them, to embrace them, to kiss them, to…

Even with the knowledge that your proclivities were not frowned upon in the wizarding world, the years you spent before joining it had conditioned you to feel guilt and denial. It felt as though you were being pushed by shame from one side and encouragement from the other, leaving no space for action.

So you suppressed those feelings, turning to those shameful late-night moments in which you inflicted some self-pleasure upon yourself.

You felt guilty thinking about schoolmates that way. The only comfort was that it usually wasn’t someone you were particularly close with, so objectifying them wasn’t thrown in your face the next morning.

Then the fifth year arrived, and with it, a very changed, taller, better-built Sirius.

He said he had spent most of his summer at his uncle Alphard's house, which had a Quidditch pitch nearby, allowing him to fly and work out every day. Training for his Beater position on the Quidditch team involved a lot of work from his arm and chest muscles.

And what a sight those muscles were, when he took his outer robe off, leaving only a thin dress shirt on. They were enthralling to watch, and it took you greater effort than fighting any duel, facing any Slytherin, or preparing for any exam to avert your gaze elsewhere.

It didn't help that he paid particular attention to you. There was something in his gaze that made you want to squirm.

It's worth mentioning you changed over the summer too. You barely had to lift your head now to look your dad straight in the eyes (which came with your mum droning on about needing to buy an entirely new wardrobe for you since all your clothes were too short). Your face became thinner, and your jawline more pronounced. You would often run, not from schoolmates, but for the simple release of pent-up energy from being deprived of magic (you would curse whoever it was that created the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery, if they were still alive) and worrying about a possible raid from Death Eaters all summer.

You did try to act casual. But you were also 16. And suddenly, when the night came, the only thoughts you had, were of him.

His nature didn't help either. He was always affectionate with touch - an arm around your shoulder when walking together, his head always resting on someone's lap while relaxing on the couches in the Gryffindor common room. He did that with all of his friends.

So it meant he did it with you as well. In those moments, you begged to be back in the Arithmancy classroom, listening to lectures about numerological transcendence or whatever else you couldn't grasp, because it would still be easier than withstanding the force of Sirius Black's friendly affection. Friendly.

You always made sure to keep the outer robes on, so you could cover your crotch and the erection that occured whenever he tugged you closer to him or rested his head on your arm.

After one very close call, when he laid his head on your lap, you realised it had become essential never to sit next to him again. Not as long as you felt the way you did. It didn't help that the thoughts of his mouth so close to that particular area contributed to your unseemly activities later that evening and were followed by a sense of shame when you saw him the next morning while preparing to go down for breakfast.

And even if you told yourself that you were dealing with this insufferable infatuation, you couldn't help but feel jealous of the people who sparked Sirius' interest. You weren't the only person who had noticed how he had changed over the summer, after all.

It seemed every other week there would be a new girl clutching onto him like a lifeline. And considering the affection he showed his friends, you shouldn't have been surprised by how flagrant he was with them.

The shameless make-out sessions, blatant touching, and disgusting displays like feeding each other were hard to ignore. But over time, you got used to it. You didn't accept it, but it was just something that happened, yet another flaw in the world. It still was better than the fact that there was an actual war happening outside the school halls, a war against people like you, or rather, about ridding the world of people like you.

But then, one day, Sirius showed up for lunch with a boy. A Ravenclaw, one year above you. All of you were confused. And confusion turned into many different emotions when the ministrations that Sirius' girlfriends received were extended to him.

If you felt uneasy before, now you were actually physically sick. You wanted to vomit, to break something, or rather someone.

Ironically, one of the few comforts you had in the entire situation was knowing that if you never stood a chance with him, it wasn't because of your appearance or any other personal attribute, but simply because he was exclusively into girls. This made it easier to avoid letting yourself fantasise about being with him. At that point, however, the reality stung more sharply—knowing that he chooses not to have an interest in you, despite being open to it. It just made it all more painful.

So you quickly excused yourself and exited the Hall. You didn't run and cry, thinking about jumping off the astronomy tower like some heartsick, stupid people would do. You weren't sad. You were angry. Furious. Livid. Violent.

You hadn't noticed Remus going after you, all the way to the Forbidden Forest. You hadn't noticed him as you were throwing all known curses and hexes at a large pile of rocks, annihilating it in the process.

But after you were done, and decided to go back, there he stood. With this look of pity. Maybe you weren't as subtle as you thought, or maybe it was him being his usual, too perceptive self.

"I would say that it gets better, but I'm not going to start lying to you," he said.

"Are you- Do you- You too? With Sirius, I mean," you replied.

"Merlin no!" and after a short pause, "Well, maybe a little last year. But it went out the window after he insulted Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, massive turn-off," he said, the last part with a scoff, "And I'm more partial to the fair sex, being honest with you."

"How long have you known?" you asked.

"You know how my senses are heightened? Due to- you know. Well, some stronger emotions have the slightest scents that I can detect. They don't really compare to any normal ones… well, the technicalities don't really matter. Arousal is one of those scents, and I smelled it off of you while you were looking at him in the distance once or twice."

"Well, thank you for not calling me out on it," you said with the slightest of smiles. At that point, you also had to ask, because you knew it would nag you forever, "So if you can actually smell emotions, that means that things like…" You didn't exactly know how to ask whether he could smell you wank in the night, so you just made a gesture. He didn't seem unsettled by your question, to his credit.

"Oh, yeah, at first it was quite uncomfortable, but you weren't the first one to do it... Sirius was always hyper and he is the oldest, I suppose," he said, then continued, "I learned a spell to shield my bed from all smells in Second Year, but I forget to cast it sometimes," he said while rubbing the nape of his neck.

"Well, I've never felt more sorry for you, especially with Peter's dirty socks..." you said.

“Yes, well, it comes with living with four other teenage boys. But I’m the one who’s supposed to comfort you right now, not the other way around,” he said with a small laugh.

“You did say it wouldn’t just get better, as if from experience… Who were you that angry about? You, the calmest, most reasonable and even-tempered Gryffindor in history.”

“There was one particular girl that Sirius had dated about a month ago, and now even if I did try to ask her out, I’d be asking Sirius’ ex out. It did irk me, knowing he would drop her after a week or so anyway.”

“A shame you hadn’t told me; then we could wallow in self-pity together,” you chuckled a little. Maybe Freud was onto something with his “just talk about it and it will get better.” Although, you were also quite tired, so maybe there was simply no energy for anger at the moment.

“Do you want to smash some things too? I could conjure more rocks if you’d like,” you asked.

He smiled. “No, but I will tell you if I do. Let’s head back; I think we’re already late for Potions.”

You groaned. “Fuck Potions, we’re both rubbish at it anyway. Besides, I don’t know if I have it in me not to throw some beetle eyes or something equally disgusting at him right now.” You said this as you started walking back towards the castle.

“I am a prefect, you know,” Remus replied.

“Oh? So I suppose it wasn’t you who turned Mulciber’s hair into snakes yesterday?” you responded with a small chuckle.

He just huffed but didn’t rebut.

______________________________________________________________

What you and Remus failed to talk about and consider were appearances. There was nothing out of the ordinary with Remus’, but you, however, looked as if you’d just emerged from a fighting ring - messy hair, ruffled clothes, and scratches from the rock shards that you hadn’t even registered.

After worried questions stemming from a calm, “What happened?” from Peter, to James’ intense, “Did someone do this to you?! Tell. Me. Who!” you just said you’d fallen down the stairs, and Remus had taken you to the infirmary, which explained your absence during Potions class. And since it was just a theory lesson, you doubted Slughorn noticed or cared much.

The rest of the day, after fixing yourself up in the bathroom, you tried to act as usual. And it mostly worked. But, as seemed to be the pattern of the day, Sirius disrupted your attempts at casualness. It wasn’t his fault per se, since you always sat together in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Normally, you would chat and joke, having already mastered the subject. But today, you didn’t even want to see him, let alone talk to him.

Sirius wasn’t stupid, nor as self-conceited as some believed. He noticed the lack of banter and witty responses from you and asked, “Are you okay? You seem a little off today.”

Clearly he didn’t connect the dots that your being "a little off" might be related to your supposed fall down the stairs. His mind was probably preoccupied with that Ravenclaw arsewipe he had shown up with, making it clear he was bi.

So you simply responded, “I’m fine,” and started taking notes. This really set Sirius off, because you never did that in Defence class. By Fourth Year, you had enough knowledge and skill to score an Outstanding in NEWT for the subject. You had even ventured into Knockturn Alley to buy books on martial magic, most containing curses only found in the restricted section of the school library. He knew why you were so determined to master this area of magic. With raids, disappearances, and murders reported every other day, who wouldn’t be?

Sirius thought that maybe something else had happened other than the fall, but what could it be? No one dared to challenge you to a duel or sneak up on you after you sent the youngest Yaxley brother to the infirmary with so many afflictions and injuries he didn’t get out until a week later (you only got three nights of detention since it was technically self-defence after he tried to use the body-bind curse on you from behind first. The Gryffindor privilege probably played a part in that as well). You didn’t seem to be under a side-effect of pain medicine either.

He only realized the lesson was over because of your abrupt departure the moment the bell rang.

But there was someone with you when whatever happened had occurred - Remus. He had the answers, and Sirius was adamant about finding out the truth. But when he turned towards the desk Remus sat at, it was empty as well.

Suspicious.

Both of you disappearing halfway through the day and then coming back disheveled with a very convenient story... Could you...? Together?

Now, with his mind racing, Sirius reached the only plausible conclusion: it became clear he was into guys too, and one of you must have gotten jealous, so you sorted it out. The idea that Remus could have been the one to be with you like that, while Sirius was left out, sparked something he never wanted to feel about any of his friends - jealousy.

He loved Moony, don't get him wrong. But it was you and him that always had a little stack of letters after the holidays for each other, since neither could send them during the summer. "Merlin! I didn't know we had some summer essays set to write. What will we do, Pete?" James would always laugh. It was you and him that hated going away from Hogwarts because the castle was where you truly felt at home. It was you and him that sat together by the Black Lake in you spot, sharing those quiet moments that seemed to stretch into forever.

Why wouldn't you consider him for something more, then? He wasn't a saint, he knew that. But he also had access to mirrors, and he was a friend as long as Moony was.

And he had to admit, when he saw you on the train in September, desire surged through him. But you never seemed to look at him too long, let alone show any sign of actual interest. So he tried what he had seen work on those desperate girls and used all the tricks he had. But those attempts only seemed to turn you off, making you retreat from him. He recalled that evening when he laid his head on your lap, asking you to braid or play with his hair, and instead of blushing and giggling like those girls did, you immediately needed to get back to the dorm, claiming there was "a book you forgot to return to the library, and you better run before Madam Pince closes it" or some other excuse. After that, you avoided sitting next to him, except for during class.

When he saw you could defend yourself from the baby death eaters - commonly known as Slytherins - he stopped pretending not to associate with you. He was openly best friends with a "blood traitor," which, in his parents' eyes, was as bad as being a "filthy little Mudblood." So, he would get punished anyway.

He cherished the surprise on your face when he sat next to you at the Sorting Ceremony, the delight in your eyes when you realised he wasn’t playing the charade he had in First Year.

He was always honest with you. He never felt it important to discuss his sexuality, especially since you never mentioned yours. He assumed you shared his sentiment. But now it was clear that you had discussed it with someone - just not him. Maybe you and Remus had a special spot as well? Or maybe, the spot by the lake was only special to Sirius, and you came there only when dear Remus was too busy, or worse, out of pity, because Sirius would sit there sometimes, hoping you would appear.

He hated that feeling. You were his friends. He shouldn't be mad at you two being close, being together. But he was. He was angry with you, and he was even more furious with himself.

Maybe if he just mellowed down his advances, you would start to show similiar affection towards him as well? Or maybe you did feel it, but was just awkward about it and he hadn't noticed?

And then there were the flings.

So on one hand, you might be plainly uninterested, wanting nothing more than friendship. On the other, you might have been interested, but he had ruined it.

He had ruined it all, just as he always seemed to. His mother had often said so. His father, his br- Regulus, never disagreed.

He didn't ever realise he was now alone, with tears glistening in his eyes, heading towards nowhere in particular

______________________________________________________________

The rest of the week was tense for the Marauders. Sirius retreated as he had after his first Howler back in First Year. Fortunately, this time he already had James. Pete stuck by him too, offering snacks in the evenings and welcome distractions. Both of them knew Peter didn’t need help with Herbology, yet he asked Sirius for it, for example.

Not that you and Remus were there to witness most of these moments. You were cooped up in the library, sometimes together with Lily, Marlene, and Mary.

You didn’t know if it was just instinct or if you were that easy to read, but the three girls took to comforting you as well. Your study sessions continued with the addition of Lily’s dormmates, which made things much more fun, but also much riskier, since Madam Pince didn’t take kindly to any disturbances of silence, and snickering was very much a disturbance.

One evening, Marlene said that when she was sad she did her first piercing by herself. She mentioned it off-handedly, while being scolded by Lily and Mary for getting her nose infected - that attempt was not as successful as the first one “or numerous following ones!” Marlene didn’t fail to add.

So, when you were returning to the common room, you asked her which piercing wasn’t too painful and if she would be willing to do it for you. She eagerly agreed, recommending helix piercings since earlobes were “too obvious.”

And as much as it wasn’t the most pleasant experience, it wasn’t too bad either. You settled for piercings in each ear. Marlene said it was fate, since the Hogsmeade trip would be happening in two days. You would be able to buy your own jewellery, wearing hers for now.

You were barely the first person to have some alterations to their appearance done, so it didn’t gain much attention from most, only your friends, who you didn’t have many of, especially since three of your dormmates seemed engrossed with something they were sharing with neither you nor Remus. Even Mary said you looked "dashing", and with her being one of the icons (Marlene had called her a guru) of style by that point, you knew it really meant something.

You saw the dark circles under Sirius’ eyes, as well as how puffy they were. You wanted to comfort him, truly you did. He was your friend, first and foremost. But now, it seemed he was avoiding you. You thought of cornering him somehow but thought better of it. One can’t make Sirius Black do or say anything he doesn’t want to do. And he did not take kindly to attempts at trying.

So, you left him be and didn’t address any of the occasional looks you got from him with anything else but, what you hoped was, a comforting smile.

The trip to Hogsmeade was as eventful as any other, but with you not only buying earrings but some rings as well. You made sure none were made of silver, mindful of Moony.

The Sunday, however, proved to be something entirely else. You were planning on writing the Potions essay and reading the latest issue of Transfiguration Today. You hoped there would be at least something more than a mere mention of the Animagus process, having found only some sparse remarks on it in the books you’d read in the library so far.

There was always the Restricted Section, but you needed the Cloak for that, and James was always with Sirius.

And as much of a pain as it was to write about the Draught of Peace, it was one of the possible potions to brew for your OWL exam, and you needed one in Potions, no matter how much you loathed the idea of studying the subject at NEWT level. But you needed the NEWT to be allowed into the Auror Training, and complaining would get you nowhere.

But when you were finally done and reached for the magazine on your nightstand, the dorm room burst open, and in came James, Peter, and Sirius. And they came with purpose.

“Right, we’re going to settle this. You,” James pointed at you and Sirius, “will stay in this room until you’re okay again. I will let you starve to death if I have to.” And with that, he came out, locking the door.

You looked at Sirius and didn’t know what else to say but, “Always with dramatics, that one.”

Sirius didn’t respond at first, just looked at you for some time. You avoided his stare, which clearly was the wrong thing to do, seeing what he asked you next.

“Why can’t you even look at me?” he said in a tone much more broken than Sirius should sound like. You had only witnessed a few times over the five years you’d known each other. So you did look at him, straight in the eyes, and responded.

“Of course I can look at you.” You really didn’t know how to handle this. You didn’t even know what exactly it was about.

“Since we returned in September, you don’t want to, though,” after a short pause, he asked, “We’re friends, right? Friends tell each other things.”

“Of course we’re friends. Why would you question that?” you said immediately.

He looked at you, intensely, expectantly. But you really didn’t know what he could want you to say. There was no way he knew about your crush, right?

Seeing that he wasn’t going to receive what he had hoped for, he said with a clipped tone, “Then why didn’t you tell me about you and Remus? Or James and Pete, for that matter?”

Now you were really bewildered. You wanted to ask what he meant, but he clearly wasn’t finished.

“I bet you told Marls and the other two, though, always hanging around with each other now. I mean, I could understand if you’d just started and were figuring things out, but once you’re having sex, I think it’s serious enough to mention it to people you claim are your family!” he finished, shouting.

“What do you- Are- Sex!? With who!?”

“Well, Moony of course, unless you were doing it with Marlene in the third-floor bathroom on Thursday too!”

"For fuck's sake, have you taken something!? Or is this some very elaborate prank!?" You didn’t allow him to respond just yet. "I’m not having sex with anyone, I’m not in a relationship with anyone, Marlene only pierced my ears," you said, pointing at your ears. "And I really don’t think that Remus fetching me from the Forbidden Forest is that significant to mention!"

Sirius seemed surprised. You rarely screamed or shouted, preferring to just hex someone if they were going too far. Of all the questions now flooding his mind, he asked,

"What were you doing in the Forbidden Forest?"

"I was smashing up some rocks, if it’s that important to you. And I left the centaurs one of the phoenix feathers I found last year in the Astronomy Tower, along with a very sincere apology letter the next day, so I doubt they’ll want to hunt me down. It was only a pile of rocks anyway; I made sure not to harm any trees or animals."

"Why?"

"You know centaurs are the ones that planted and protect the forest. They demand respect. I doubt me coming in all unreasonable and entitled to destroy parts of it, even as irrelevant as a pile of-" At that, he interrupted you.

"I don’t care about the centaurs! Why were you wrecking rocks, and if that’s what happened on Monday, why are you cross with me?"

"I— I’m not cross with you, and it doesn’t matter why. It’s stupid, and I’m dealing with it."

"Maybe I could help, you know. Or at least you could have told me."

You were getting sick of his apparent entitlement to all your issues and that, mixed with still not fully gone anger at him over the Ravenclaw, prompted you to say with a clipped tone, "Well, you seem pretty preoccupied these days. I wouldn’t want to get groped by accident."

His eyes widened, cheeks reddened, and his mouth opened and closed in a repeated cycle. He was visibly thinking about what to say next.

"Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? Seeing me with those girls?"

You barely even registered saying, "You forgot the Ravenclaw already?"

At that you saw a hint of a smirk on his face, but what was more noticeable was the step he took towards you. "Did it bother you? Seeing me like that?"

Oh, you definitely didn’t like the direction this conversation was going. So you quickly tried to escape the looming vision of actually confessing your feelings to him.

"Who wouldn’t be bothered? People do go to that Hall to eat their food. You and whoever else was your conquest of the week were trying to eat each other."

He only inched closer. "No one else was demolishing the forest because of that, though, were they?"

You faltered. You were losing this argument, and you’d have to go past Sirius to reach your wand, which you had inconveniently left on the bed.

"You know, a lot of things just started to make sense to me..." He was almost within touching distance.

"Well, enlighten me then," you said, hoping your tone was more confident than you felt.

"The way you distanced yourself, wouldn’t look at me too long... I thought I might have done something bad or wrong, but now I’m realising," and after a pause, in a much huskier tone, "I actually might have done the opposite."

He did touch you now, caressing your arm. "I’m going to ask you something, Y/N, and I need you to be honest." The hand went from your arm to your chin, directing your head to look him in the face. You hadn’t realised you had been looking just past his shoulder for most of that monologue.

The only thing you did realise, was that Sirius was tall.

"If I kissed you right now, would you return it?"

You were overwhelmed. And, more importantly, starting to get hard. No.

But apparently, your subconscious decided to answer for you, and you nodded.

Sirius didn’t wait a second. He leaned in, practically attacking your mouth.

The kiss was rough, with teeth clashing at first. You supposed it was probably clumsy, but you didn’t have anything to compare it with.

You tried to mimic what Sirius was doing, and in a moment of daring (you were still a Gryffindor, after all), you bit his lower lip, eliciting a low groan from Sirius.

You usually learned best through practice, and kissing apparently wasn’t an exception. You became more confident with each second his lips moved with yours, and when you felt his tongue brush against your lower lip, you instinctively opened your mouth.

The tongue slipped in immediately, accompanied by a satisfied hum from Sirius. It was strange, the sensation of it in your mouth at first, against your own. But you quickly found yourself enjoying it, and the fact that his hands were now firmly on your waist, running up and down, certainly didn’t discourage you.

For someone who detested the very thought of being overpowered, you surprisingly enjoyed Sirius’ dominant position right now.

You rested your arms on his shoulders and started running your right hand through the hair on the back of his head, eliciting another groan, of satisfaction, you hoped.

You began to move your tongue along with his, and sooner than you realised, it became a battle. You were growing more and more eager to explore his mouth as well.

The fact that you were currently making out with your long-term crush was not lost on you, nor did it fail to make you even more aroused with each passing second. You had imagined a moment like this many times. In fact, you had imagined many other moments, and seeing how physical Sirius was, there was a big chance of them turning into memories or maybe, if you dared to think, regular occurrences.

In fact, you wouldn’t settle for anything less. You were not interested in becoming one of many in the long line of Sirius Black’s dalliances, as Remus liked to say sometimes.

And so, with great effort - both in actually willing yourself to do it, as well as managing against Sirius’ strength - you pulled away.

His eyes were half-lidded, pupils dilated, but a brow started to rise in question.

"I’m not ruining our friendship for a week of fun with you, Sirius," you said, still breathless, but it was clear you were being frank right now.

"I’m not either," he responded. "I want it to be more," he said.

"What are you saying?" you asked with a smirk, knowing very well what, but still wanting to hear it.

He rolled his eyes playfully. "And you complained about James’ flair for dramatics," he said, and immediately dropped to one knee and took your hand. "Y/N L/N, will you, the breathtaking vision of enchanting beauty, the enthralling light of brilliance, do me the honour of allowing me to become your partner in love and life?" he asked in an over-dramatic tone.

You laughed and said in the same manner, "Sirius Black, your words have melted my heart completely. I’d be thrilled to become your boyfriend."

He pretended to cry, followed by a quite amusing spectacle of pretending to die out of sheer joy, and then stood up, held you to him, and kissed you again, this time more tenderly. This kiss didn’t seem desperate but wasn’t chaste in any way either. You pulled him closer by his shirt, having your chests press together. He seemed very satisfied with it.

He was starting to pull your sweater off when the doors burst open with James in the front yet again, this time shrieking. Remus, who apparently joined him and Peter in the common room during your time alone with Sirius, said, "Turns out you were right, they were suffocating each other... Not in the way you predicted though," he added with a low chuckle.

Peter’s face was as red as a beet, and James just stared. After a while, he said, "I call you both my brothers, so it’s incest, you know. I’ll tell my mum."

"You’re just worried I’ll cut into your cuddle time with him," you said to James, receiving a laugh from Remus and a smirk from Sirius that contradicted his severe tone.

"He could never cut into that, Jamie, you don’t have to worry."

James decided to just shove him with a laugh as a response.

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jmdbjk · 7 months ago

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Privates First Class Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook: Our first real look.

Jimin and Jungkook. I know, I'm being insufferable but I can't NOT dwell on them a little more. Festa activities will make us move past this so fast as things always do in BTS Army life.

But you don't realize how much is bottled up or how starving you've been until you finally get to feast on that one thing you've been missing. That didn't sound very appealing and I'm not really that pathetic (its mostly the busy-ness inside my head) but you know what I mean, right? I've missed them soooo much!

Military life seems to have been going well for them. Since January we've had very little news about them. Just military blips here and there... training with U.S. Marines... kitchen police... cooking rice... cleaning from top to bottom... learning to aim big-ass missiles and hitting targets and living on rations for a week. Even receiving recognition for outstanding service.

Almost every day I imagine them doing their daily duties and all... but there was little to go by. And that's fine. Some of those things I don't want to think about. But that's what they are doing every day.

Seeing them in real time in the flesh is very reassuring.

One thing that was noticeable to me is that Jimin and Jungkook did not look like their usual sleepy-head selves they are at that time of the morning. But they both looked strong and composed. Going to bed every night like a normal person and getting a good night's sleep is a healthy habit they will probably break the moment they are discharged.

Jimin... just wow. His hair grew out. No more buzz cut. But also, the duality continues:

Someone posted a comparison pic of Jimin's painted nails and a close up of his hands which now have what look like healed spots on his hands and knuckles and scuffed nails... I don't have the pic but it shows how he's fully immersed in his military duties. Hands do get beat up somewhat when you work with them a lot.

Jungkook looked amazing.

Jungkook's little burn scars... that damn edge of the oven or hot pan will get you when you least expect it! Got him twice too! Ouchie! I hope it didn't bother him for too long. To the infirmary!

He'll get Polyc to cover that up with a new tattoo. Or maybe design one around it to highlight Jungkook's battle scars he received while an enlisted man.

One thing they are most likely gaining now is self-confidence in the ability to do something NOT in their wheelhouse. Leading people or working with people who are not the ones they used to see day in and day out for ten years. Learning new skills, being part of a different team, doing different things can be enriching and will enhance other parts of their lives.

Not being with the people who are paid to be there to make sure they look good and every whim is taken care of....the isolation had to be culture shock for them. Knowing they are together, that center of familiarity when they are faced with something new, is a great source of comfort.

Jimin and Jungkook showed up to Jin's discharge in full uniform. I will assume they arrived together straight from their base, where they must remain in their uniforms at all times.

Hugs all around. Jimin's are the best, most heartfelt hugs.

Jimin and Tae's hug... I felt that shit. The squeeze, the "no, don't let go yet," the fullness of it. They mean a lot to each other. I know they've always been close, they've told us so, they've reminded us they speak to each other often even when they weren't working as a group.

And I'm sorry but the awkward side hug between Tae and JK was not "tHeY jUsT sPeNt TiMe ToGeThEr." Be for real. Are you fucking blind? That was Tae saying "bro, didn't realize you walked up behind me, are you not gonna hug me too?" And JK going "oh, well, ok if you insist, bro (since you won't let go of my wrist)."

No, Jimin and Jungkook did not hug each other... they just got out of the car that they rode in from their base where they live together. Where they showered and got dressed and ate breakfast together before getting in the car. It is perplexing how that is even a question I see people put out there.

There was curiosity as to whether Jimin and Jungkook were on day leave or what and initially seeing them in uniform the first assumption is that they might be only on temporary day leave and would have to return to base that evening. But then we got the group pic at the Hybe building and Jimin and Jungkook had changed clothes. From what I understand, when a soldier is on day leave, they must remain in uniform AT ALL TIMES during that day. No quick change into some other clothes for a while. REMAIN IN UNIFORM AT ALL TIMES NO MATTER WHAT. So them being in civvies tells us they are on vacation/days off. We don't know how much time they took off but perhaps they won't go back to the base until Monday.

During their days off they will probably separate and go do their own thing. Maybe they will take time to go to Busan and visit fam. Most likely, Jungkook will go check on the progress of the Itaewon house construction (the exterior of JK's new house is black and it will have a tiny balcony that faces the street and appears to have some livable rooftop space). Jungkook may visit Bam. They may visit their other friends. Since the entire group was there, they most likely shared how they were doing and most likely talked about next year.

The delulu mode has activated...

#jikook #jimin #jungkook #bts military service #jins military discharge #only one year left before my pookies are discharged

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vikkirosko · 14 days ago

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🗡 Laios Touden x Reader headcanons The Monster Handbook 🥣

Laios has always been interested in monsters. He had read the old book about them many times, which he always carried with him, but he wanted to know what monsters tasted like. However, he never thought that he would meet a person who would be as interested in monsters as he was. That was the kind of person you were. You joined him and the others because you needed people with whom you could go to the dungeon, because you yourself were not the most skilled warrior. You were a researcher, at least that's what you called yourself. When he and the others were fighting monsters, you stood aside and diligently wrote something down in your notebook. No one expected you to record information about monsters, but Laios was the one who got excited about it

You studied books that wrote about monsters, but more and more it seemed to you that these books were written rather superficially, so you decided to write such a book yourself. That's why you left your usual home and decided to go to the dungeon. You collected all kinds of information about monsters and wrote it down in your notebook, and now you could write down something that had not been recorded by anyone before. You could write down recipes for monster dishes. Laios was delighted with what you told them, and he asked you a lot of questions about what you had already learned. You were both genuinely happy to finally meet a like-minded person, while the rest of you didn't even know how to react to it. They were getting used to the Laios' oddities, and now they had to get used to your oddities as well

Laios helped you get new information. He told you about the weak points of the monsters that he learned about while fighting them, while you were preparing them, you wrote down how they worked inside. It would seem that every little thing was interesting to you. He liked telling you what he knew, because finally there was someone who was really interested in listening to him. The more you talked about monsters, the more Laios noticed that he liked not only talking about monsters with you, but also just spending time with you. It was the first time he had felt this way about someone. He didn't fully understand what exactly it was, but he really liked the feel of them. It was as if he felt light, even despite the weight of the armor he was wearing

The others noticed the changes in Laios' behavior perfectly well. His feelings for you were obvious to everyone except, perhaps, you. You were so immersed in your research that you didn't notice the obvious things. Chilchuck was strongly against it. He was the one who, at one time, introduced the rule of no romantic relationships within the group. But Marcille was delighted. She didn't think Laios would even pay attention to anything other than monsters, and she wasn't going to let a relationship that could start very soon be ruined. Because of this, they periodically quarreled, completely oblivious to how you and Laios left to re-collect information for you for your research, which for the two of you was almost equivalent to a date

You both didn't know how your descent into the dungeon would end, but you assumed that you wouldn't be coming home soon. Even when you leave the dungeon, you had to organize all your records, and if there is a person who can help you with this, it will be much easier for you. Laios didn't mind helping you at all, and even more, he didn't mind that you could spend time together. Perhaps when you leave the dungeon, he will be able to fully understand what kind of feelings he began to feel towards you, and he will also have much more opportunities to show these feelings

#Dungeon Meshi #Dungeon Meshi x Reader #Dungeon Meshi headcanons #Laios Touden #Laios Touden x Reader #Laios #Laios x Reader

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mpregtales · 2 months ago

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Luke & Owen Part 1

⬤ [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5]

Luke sat on the edge of his twin bed, staring out at the campus below. The early morning sun filtered through the blinds, casting stripes of light across his dorm room. It was quiet for once—his roommate was out for the weekend, giving Luke a rare moment of solitude. He exhaled, letting the silence envelop him, though it did little to quell the storm of emotions swirling inside. Despite being miles away from home, the weight of his family’s burdens seemed ever-present, pressing down on his shoulders.

At twenty-one, Luke had built a life for himself that he was proud of. Attending a university in bustling Atlanta, he was pursuing a psychology degree, hoping to one day become a therapist. College was his refuge—a stark contrast to the suffocating atmosphere of home. Here, Luke had carved out an identity all his own, one not defined by his parents’ struggles or the small town he had grown up in. He had joined the psychology club, volunteered at a local shelter, and played intramural soccer with a tight-knit group of friends. It was through these friendships and his involvement on campus that he found solace, a way to distance himself from the emotional drama back home.

Luke had worked hard to establish a balance, juggling his part-time job at the campus library with a full course load, while still finding time to hang out with friends at their favorite coffee shop. He had become the dependable one among his peers, the friend people went to when they needed advice or support. Luke was known for his level-headedness, for his ability to listen without judgment—a skill honed from years of playing peacemaker at home.

But no matter how much he immersed himself in the freedom and excitement of college life, Luke could never fully escape the emotional weight of his family. There was always a phone call waiting—his mother venting about the latest fight with his dad, or his younger sister, Emma, texting him for advice about navigating high school drama. And while he loved them deeply, sometimes Luke resented being the one they all leaned on. He had built a new life here, one free of the constant turmoil that seemed to define his parents’ relationship, yet he still found himself tethered to home.

Luke’s family had always been close-knit, at least from the outside looking in. His parents, Mark and Julie, had been high school sweethearts, the quintessential small-town couple. Mark was the steady, hardworking factory man—reliable, though emotionally distant. Julie was the vibrant, charismatic homemaker, adored by everyone in their town. But beneath the surface, Luke had always known something was off. Their marriage, once full of love and laughter, had become a husk of what it used to be.

Julie had always dreamed of having a big family, but after Emma was born when Luke was eight, she experienced complications that left her unable to conceive naturally. This had crushed her, and over the years, Luke watched as his mother became more and more withdrawn. The inability to have more children had led Julie into a spiral of sadness, and that sadness had turned into frustration—frustration with Mark, with life, and, Luke feared, with herself.

Mark, on the other hand, seemed to check out emotionally. He threw himself into his work, spending longer hours at the factory, and when he was home, he barely spoke to Julie unless they were arguing. The arguments were never explosive—there was no shouting, no thrown dishes. Instead, it was a slow, simmering tension that pervaded the house. They fought about everything and nothing at all: bills, housework, groceries. But Luke knew it wasn’t really about those things. It was about the years of unspoken resentment, the grief over what could have been.

By the time Luke had reached high school, he had learned how to navigate the emotional landmines of his parents’ marriage. He had become the peacemaker, the mediator between his mother’s simmering sadness and his father’s cold detachment. And as much as he hated to admit it, he was the glue that held their fragile relationship together.

Emma, his younger sister, was only sixteen and still in high school. She didn’t seem to notice the cracks in their family the way Luke did—or maybe she was better at pretending they weren’t there. She was busy with her friends, trying to figure out her place in the world, but Luke knew that Emma needed him too. She had always looked up to her older brother, and Luke felt a sense of responsibility to protect her from the emotional mess at home. He was the one she confided in about her school crushes, her struggles with friendships, and the pressure she felt to live up to their parents’ expectations. Luke tried to be there for her as much as he could, even from a distance, offering advice over late-night texts or FaceTime calls. But there was only so much he could do.

The burden of holding his family together had become an invisible weight that Luke carried with him everywhere, even in his new life at college. And now, with his mother’s latest fixation on having another child, that weight felt heavier than ever.

Julie’s longing for another child had never truly faded. The dream of expanding their family had persisted, like an ember smoldering beneath the ashes of years of disappointment. When she learned that IVF could still be an option—using her own egg and Mark’s sperm—her hope reignited. Julie saw this potential child not only as a new beginning but as a way to salvage everything that had frayed between her and Mark. The baby, she believed, could restore purpose to her life, reignite the spark in her marriage, and fill the emotional void she had lived with for years.

Luke understood all too well that for his mother, this baby wasn’t just about the joy of a new child—it was her lifeline. And yet, the thought of being the one to give it to her filled him with an inescapable sense of dread. He had always admired how loving his mother had been, but over the years, her emotional fragility had deepened, leaving Luke concerned about her readiness to raise another child. He also worried about the impact on his younger sister, Emma, who had never expressed a desire for a sibling. And perhaps most of all, he worried about what it would mean for him—his body, his future, and the life he had worked so hard to build.

Julie began mentioning surrogacy casually during Luke's visits home or in phone conversations. She would bring it up as though she was merely musing aloud, making comments about the modern options available to women her age. At first, Luke brushed it off, chalking it up to his mother’s longing and knowing it was unlikely to happen. But the more she mentioned it, the more he couldn’t shake the growing suspicion that she was testing the waters, subtly suggesting something deeper.

One night, after a particularly tense phone call where Julie had spoken about the new possibility with teary-eyed excitement, Luke found himself lying in bed, wide awake. The idea of surrogacy had started to take root in his mind. Could he do it? Could he carry his parents’ child? The concept was wild—unsettling, even. But then, guilt crept in. His life at college, his independence, his escape—it was all built on leaving the burdens of home behind. His parents had done so much for him, and here he was, living free while their marriage continued to crumble under the weight of years of unresolved issues.

Hadn't he always been the glue holding them together? The peacemaker? He had been the one to console his mother after her fights with Mark, to help Emma when their parents were too distracted by their own issues. It seemed like his duty to help, especially now that the family was at its most fragile. Maybe, just maybe, this child could heal the wounds between his parents and restore some semblance of happiness to their home.

But the idea also stirred deep personal conflict. Luke had always imagined that one day, with a loving partner by his side, he might carry a child of his own. He had been open to the idea, fantasizing about building a family with someone he truly loved. But carrying his parents’ child? That was something entirely different. This wouldn’t be his child, and the thought of nurturing life within him—knowing it wasn’t for him—filled him with confusion. Could he emotionally detach from the pregnancy? Would he be able to hand over the baby after months of carrying it inside him, forming an inevitable bond?

The physicality of pregnancy also weighed heavily on his mind. He imagined his body changing—the subtle roundness of his belly growing larger with each passing month, his hormones shifting, his life entirely different from what he had envisioned as a carefree college student. Luke had always been proud of his body, his sense of self. But pregnancy—especially for someone else’s child—was a challenge he hadn’t anticipated. How would his friends react? Could he keep up with classes? What would it mean for his own life?

Over the next few weeks, the thought gnawed at him, growing more insistent with every conversation he had with his mother. She never outright asked him, but her comments grew more pointed, and Luke knew—she was waiting for him to offer.

He found himself sitting in class one day, his mind wandering as the professor’s voice faded into the background. Would it really be that different from what he’d already been doing his whole life—holding his family together? His friends at school didn’t know the weight he carried back home. To them, Luke was the confident, dependable one, always ready with a smile and advice. He played soccer with a group of guys who looked up to him, volunteered on weekends, and had a vibrant social circle that made him feel like he had truly found a new version of himself.

But that sense of freedom felt fragile now, like it could slip away at any moment. If he agreed to this—if he carried the child—would he lose the life he had built here? Would he ever be able to return to this carefree version of himself?

As the days passed, Luke felt the tension build inside him. He was torn between his deep sense of obligation to his family and his own dreams. And, perhaps most frustratingly, he found himself thinking that maybe, just maybe, he could do it.

The idea weighed heavily on Luke and one night, after another restless attempt to sleep, Luke found himself scrolling through his phone, searching the internet for anything—anyone—who might have gone through something similar. He searched for stories about surrogacy, unconventional families, and people who had carried children for their loved ones. That’s when he stumbled upon a series of articles and interviews featuring a man named Aaron, a man whose story felt strangely familiar and deeply resonant.

Aaron had navigated not only nontraditional pregnancies but also the complexities of love, loss, and family in ways that Luke hadn’t imagined possible. Aaron’s life had been anything but conventional—first having triplets with David, a man his father’s age, when Aaron was only 22, then acting as a surrogate for his stepson who was the same age as him. Years later, after David’s death, Aaron had found love again with Lucas, and together they had twins when Aaron was in his mid-40s.

The more Luke read, the more he felt a connection to Aaron’s experiences. Aaron had faced the emotional toll of carrying a child for someone else, navigating the boundaries between love, obligation, and the very human desire to protect and nurture. His journey had been filled with struggles, but it was also a testament to resilience and the redefinition of what family could mean.

Luke devoured every interview, every article. He found himself returning to Aaron’s story at odd moments, reading passages of the book Aaron had written about his family’s unconventional journey. The surrogacy for his stepson hit Luke the hardest—it mirrored his own situation in a way he couldn’t quite put into words. Aaron’s openness about his feelings, about the complex emotions of carrying someone else’s child, struck a deep chord in Luke.

One night, after sitting with these thoughts for days, Luke made a decision. He would reach out. He didn’t expect a response, but there was something about Aaron’s story that made Luke feel seen. Perhaps, if he was lucky, Aaron might understand the weight of the decision Luke was carrying and offer him advice. After all, who better to talk to than someone who had lived through something similar?

Sitting at his desk, Luke stared at the screen, fingers poised above the keyboard. The cursor blinked back at him as if waiting for him to find the right words.

Finally, he began typing:

Dear Aaron,

I hope this message finds you well. My name is Luke, and I’m a college student who recently came across your story while researching surrogacy. Your journey and the love you’ve shown for your family resonated with me on a deeply personal level.

I’m writing because I find myself in a difficult position. My mother has always wanted another child, but due to health issues, she hasn’t been able to have one. Recently, she’s been discussing the possibility of surrogacy—using her egg and my father’s sperm—and without asking directly, it’s clear she hopes I’ll offer to carry the child for them.

I admire your openness in sharing your story, especially the surrogacy for your stepson. I feel like I’m in a similar situation, though I haven’t made a final decision yet. The idea of carrying my own sibling is emotionally complex, to say the least, and I’m torn between my sense of duty to my family and my own dreams and future.

If you have any advice or insights, I’d be incredibly grateful. I don’t expect a response, as I’m sure you’re very busy, but your story has already helped me in more ways than you can imagine. Thank you for sharing it with the world.

Sincerely,

Luke

After hitting send, Luke felt a knot of nervous anticipation twist in his stomach. He didn’t expect a reply, but at least he had put his feelings out into the world. It was a strange relief.

Two days later, Luke was surprised to see a response in his inbox.

Dear Luke,

Thank you for your thoughtful message. I can’t tell you how much it means to hear that my story resonated with you. First off, I want to say that what you’re going through is incredibly complex, and the fact that you’re even considering this shows how deeply you care for your family. But I also understand the weight of carrying someone else’s hopes and dreams inside your own body, especially when it’s your family.

Your situation reminds me a lot of my own when I was deciding to be a surrogate for my stepson. It wasn’t an easy decision, and there were moments when I questioned everything. What helped me was understanding that family doesn’t always fit into the traditional mold, and that’s okay. But it’s also important to recognize your own needs and boundaries. Carrying a child for someone, especially your own sibling, is a monumental commitment—both physically and emotionally.

I’ll be honest, it’s not something you should do unless you feel fully at peace with the decision. It sounds like you have a lot to think about, and I’m happy to chat more if you’d like. As it happens, my husband, Lucas, and I will be touring some colleges with our twins in a few weeks, and one of the schools we’re visiting is your university. If you’d like to meet in person, I’d be more than willing to grab a coffee and talk.

You’re not alone in this, Luke. If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.

Warmly,

Aaron

Luke could hardly believe it. Not only had Aaron responded, but he was offering to meet in person. It felt like a lifeline. He immediately replied, setting up a time and place to meet at the campus café during Aaron’s visit with his family.

When the day came, Luke arrived early at the café, a mix of excitement and nerves swirling in his stomach. He didn’t know what to expect, but the idea of meeting Aaron in person filled him with a sense of hope he hadn’t felt in weeks.

At exactly 2 p.m., Aaron and Lucas walked through the door, their twins trailing behind them with curious eyes as they took in the campus. Aaron spotted Luke immediately and waved, his warm smile putting Luke at ease. He was taller than Luke had imagined, and the presence of Lucas by his side made them seem like a team, solid and grounded.

“Luke, it’s great to meet you,” Aaron said as they approached the table. He shook Luke’s hand firmly, his grip reassuring. “This is my husband, Lucas.”

“Nice to meet you, Luke,” Lucas added with a kind smile as they sat down.

Luke couldn’t help but glance at the twins—two teenagers with a mixture of Aaron and Lucas’s features, both looking excited about their campus visit. The sight of them made Luke think about the child he was carrying, and the emotional complexity of his situation hit him again.

“So, you’ve been thinking about surrogacy for your parents?” Aaron asked, his tone gentle but direct.

Luke nodded. “Yeah, it’s been… a lot to think about. I want to help them, but at the same time, I don’t know if I can go through with it. I feel like I’m caught between my family and my own life.”

Aaron leaned forward, his expression serious but compassionate. “It’s a huge decision, Luke. Trust me, I know how it feels to be torn between your love for your family and your own needs. When I was a surrogate for my stepson, it felt right at the time, but it wasn’t without its challenges.”

Lucas added, “You have to ask yourself if this is something you truly want to do—not just out of obligation, but because you feel at peace with it. And if you’re not sure, that’s okay. It’s better to be honest about that now than to carry regret later.”

Luke nodded, feeling the weight of their words. “I just don’t want to let them down. My parents are… going through a lot right now, and I feel like I’ve always been the one to hold things together.”

Aaron smiled gently. “I’ve been there too. But the thing is, Luke, you can’t be the glue for everyone else if it means sacrificing yourself in the process. You have to take care of your own needs first, especially when you’re talking about something as life-changing as pregnancy.”

The conversation flowed easily after that. Aaron shared more about his experiences, how he had navigated the emotional complexity of surrogacy and what it had meant for his family. Luke felt a sense of relief as he listened, realizing that he wasn’t alone in his struggles.

As Luke left the café and walked back toward campus, he felt a weight lift from his shoulders. Aaron’s story had given him the courage to confront the reality of his situation. He felt more in control than he had in weeks. Aaron’s insight had planted a seed of confidence in him—a confidence that whatever choice he made, Luke knew now that it had to be his own.

The weight of the decision had hung over Luke for weeks, pressing on him from every angle. He had lost sleep, his thoughts consumed by the what-ifs and the emotional complexity of it all. His college life felt like a distant dream whenever he spoke with his mother. The easy laughter and carefree nights spent with friends had been replaced with the heavy burden of knowing that a choice was waiting for him, and the pressure was mounting. His mother’s subtle hints had become more frequent, her sadness more visible every time they talked, and the guilt gnawed at him.

Then, one evening after a particularly strained conversation, something shifted in Luke. He found himself pacing his small dorm room, his mind racing. He was tired of running from the decision. Maybe it was time to stop resisting, to face the truth that had been growing in his heart: he would do it. Not because he wanted to, but because he felt like he had to. The sense of obligation had finally outweighed the fears.

The next weekend, Luke made the trip back home. His stomach churned the entire way, his thoughts tangled with anticipation and doubt. He rehearsed what he would say in his head, but nothing felt quite right. It was only when he walked into the house, seeing his mother sitting quietly by the window, staring out into the yard, that the words came naturally.

"Mom, I’ve been thinking," Luke began, his voice soft but steady.

Julie looked up at him, her eyes tired but hopeful. “Thinking about what, honey?”

Luke swallowed hard, feeling the lump in his throat tighten. “About the surrogacy. About me... being the one.”

For a moment, his mother was silent, her eyes widening as the realization dawned on her. Her hand flew to her mouth, and tears instantly welled in her eyes. “Luke, are you serious? I don’t want you to feel like—”

“I know,” he interrupted gently. “I know you’d never ask, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot. And if it’s what you really want, I’ll do it. I’ll carry the baby.”

Julie burst into tears, standing up and throwing her arms around him. "Oh, Luke, I can't believe you'd do this for us. You have no idea what this means to me. To us."

As she wept into his shoulder, Luke stood there, holding her close, but his heart felt heavy. He had expected some relief to come from his decision, but instead, he felt the weight settle deeper into his chest. What had he just agreed to? Was this truly the right thing to do? His father's footsteps sounded from the hallway, and soon, Mark joined the embrace, his expression more restrained but still visibly moved.

“Luke,” his father said, his voice thick with emotion. “I... I don’t even know how to thank you. You’re giving us a gift we can never repay.”

Luke simply nodded, overwhelmed by the moment. His mind was a whirlwind of emotions—part pride, part fear, part resignation. His parents were overjoyed, but the gravity of what he had agreed to still hadn’t fully sunk in.

Part 2

#mpreg #male pregnancy #mpreg belly #pregnantbelly #pregnant man #belly #pregnant #mpregbelly #mpregstory #mpreg birth

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headingalaxys-spicy · 4 months ago

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Thinking of Ludwig slowly becoming a yandere after being in a relationship with his s/o for years and s/o just accepts it because they love him so much. They take every punishment he gives, and feel torn between wanting to escape but they love him too much to leave. They’re timid around him and he takes advantage of that, teasing them for his own pleasure- that’s what I’m thinking about 😅

Hello there you beautiful human. Thanks for waiting in purgatory for your ask to be answered. I hope it satisfies you ✨

Gonna put the warning here : Totally touches on things like toxic relationships that are abusive so if that’s triggering for you then yeaaaah skip this one.

How you first encountered Ludwig:

You were having a blast at a small German town's annual summer festival. You’d gotten separated from your friend group as you spotted some fancy Deutsch wine crafted by a family doing it for over 200 years. You hadn’t realized that you were pretty drunk when you’d bumped into the German General & spilled your cherry red wine all over him as you took a tumble to the ground.

“Oh Sheibe! Es tut mir leid! Ich kann diesen Kleidung sauber helfen.” Panicked, you pulled out many napkins and water bottles to assist him with removing the stain. Ludwig may have been annoyed but became relaxed & spellbound by your beautiful face, perfectly framed by your freshly trimmed hair.

‘Humph. Well, at least they’re remorseful.’

“Es ist okay. I have dry cleaners I can drop this uniform off at and more to wear, but…” Ludwig reached into his back pocket to pull out his business card.

“If you’re around in Berlin & want to get the best Wurst in all of Germany, call or text me. Ciao”

[He learned his rizz from Italy.]

The first date was a smooth yet fantastical affair. The two of you dawdled through the sprawling city of Berlin. From the Brandenburg gate to the TV tower, & down to the River Spree. You got to be fully immersed in the capital city of Deutschland by none other than its resolute representative, Ludwig Belischmidt.

You were dazzled by all the history he knew of, down to tiny details you knew couldn’t be found in a surface-level history textbook. Your admiration of him, combined with your cute face & intellect, make it much easier for Ludwig to catch feelings.

As the two of you moved past the honeymoon phase and into the waves of a long-term relationship, you began to notice subtle changes in Ludwig.

He wouldn’t complement or encourage you as much. Instead, his adoration would be criticism or telling you whatever you accomplished wasn’t good enough / didn’t meet his skyscraper-high standards. This breaks down your self-esteem, so you’ll doubt yourself more. Ludwig will want you always to be pining for his approval.

When you do something that significantly displeases him, he will have you do something that will physically break you down. Ludwig is like a loving but stringent drill sergeant. Here is a short list of things you’ll have to do in order to get back into his good graces:

50 Push-Ups

100 Jumping Jacks

Hold the ‘T’ pose for 30 minutes to an hour

Planks

5 to 15-mile runs (depending on how Sadistic he’s feeling, if someone tried to get close to you, and your level of non-compliance will depend on how long you’ll have to run for)

These are all things that will exhaust you and prevent you from wanting to talk back, argue with him, etc. This rigorous training also mitigates 80%-85% of your free time to socialize with others.

Ludwig does his best to avoid putting his hands on you because you’re a human. You’re incredibly fragile. You weren’t meant to withstand him at his maximum strength. However, when you cross him, he has a leather belt to put you back in your place. For the most part, it's not something he takes great pride in, but he needs to keep you under control. He’s realized over the years that once you’ve become emotionally attached to him, he could get away with more & more problematic behavior. All he had to do was hit you with the line: “Es tut mir leid, Liebling. I had to. It was for your own good. I’ll make it up to you.” Ludwig will give you a chastised kiss on the forehead. This gesture never failed to make you turn bright red and send butterflies pouring through your guts. Your heart would sprint due to feeling the adrenaline that comes from being in love. However, your nerves would be feeling a dry stick rubbing against them gaining friction that produced a thick smoke.

Your typical response to his apology would be followed up by a brief:

“Kein problem. I forgive you, Ludwig.”

Even though Ludwigs' smile touched your skin like an early morning Fall sunray heating up your chilly skin, the glaring truth about him and his progressively toxic tendencies became far more difficult to ignore as time continued.

You evaded his gaze this time when you accepted his apology. You wondered how many times he’s said that to you now.

‘But all relationships are like this. I shouldn’t have upset him in the first place.’ This was one of the many rationalizations that you told yourself.

You often wondered how many more times you’d hear him say “sorry” when you cried out for him to “stop” or say “Ludwig, please! It was just a mistake!!!” As more lashes came swinging through the air & made the all too familiar crack against your soft skin. It never failed to vivid crimson 4-inch whiplash there.

‘Is my relationship with Ludwig actually normal, though?’ Came the uncomfortable question that came to your mind every now & again. It normally materialized after you’d faced another grueling punishment of military-style exercise, a lashing, being denied access to friends, fun, and family, a disagreement, etc. You longed not to have to walk in a minefield of broken glass, eggshells, & razors when navigating conversations with him.

“Y/N?” Ludwig says sternly with a touch of concern. Your lack of eye contact with him when accepting his apology was a subtle signal to him that he had to go all out when he planned your latest couples' make-up trip. It had to be something spectacular.

“Yes?” You say in an exhausted tone that was weighed down by the conflict between your heart and your head. You continued to stare at the concrete of the garage.

“Where do you want to go for dinner?”

Ludwig would ignore your gradually growing frigid demeanor since you’d been together for such a long time.

‘It’s just a rough patch. They’ll get over their hesitations soon enough. A well-planned and thought-out day always wins Y/N back.’

This is what Ludwig tells himself in order to keep up the delusion that he’s doing nothing wrong and that your relationship is normal. It’s always been this way.

Why would it be any different now?

A vacation was the only thing Ludwig needed to get the two of you back on track.

Usually, Ludwig relished in silence, but not when you refrained to talking to him at all. You would at least give a few compliments about something or try to start a conversation. Only having spoken the basic pleasantries of “Guten Morgen” or “Guten Nacht” with no attempt at speaking more did make him feel uneasy. But not enough to make him rethink where he was going next.

“Y/N, while planning our trip, I thought we could do something far more exciting.” You stopped staring at your food to move your eyes up to meet his. “We’re going to climb up Watzmann.” Ludwig knew damn well you hated heights.

“And …..why, for the love of God, would you think I’d enjoy that?” Not being able to hold back your disbelief and irritation.

“Well, all that training you’ve done. It’s time to test your mettle Y/N! You can’t let all of my hard work go to waste!” Utterly oblivious to the fuse he’s just ignited.

The tense and uncomfortable silence choked any peace out of the atmosphere. It stayed that way for 90 seconds as the sparks set off the bomb. Its flames made its way through your veins.

This was not what real love looked like. You pushed your plate away & slammed your fork and knife onto it. Your reaction hit Ludwig like a lightning bolt.

“I'm seriously done with you, Ludwig!”

With that, you went back to your hotel room in a huff. Some people stared silently at Ludwig, and others watched you march away.

You never turned back.

#hetalia #hws #yandere hetalia #headingalaxys spicy #ヘタリア #ludwig beilschmidt #headingalaxys writes stuff #hetalia fandom #hetalia fanfiction writers #hetalia fanfiction #gender neutral y/n #yandere germany #yandere hetalia x reader #yandere hetalia axis powers

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comicaurora · 2 years ago

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Lighting critique of a recent panel ! Dark ambient lighting is a favorite art subject of mine, so i figured this would be a good time to give some input ! ii say as if we havent been in the undergroound chapter for like a month in which it didnt occur to me to pay attention to lighting Oh well loool here it is nowwwwwwww hope you dont mind the input

Huh.

Okay, so first off, thanks - this is cool and your lighting looks very nice. I look forward to seeing what you make!

Second - I really hope sending this kind of ask isn't a habit of yours, because unsolicited artistic criticism comes across as remarkably rude.

Art criticism for the purposes of improvement is a social contract entered between two artists, typically in a scholastic environment. An artist presents their work to other artists whose opinions they trust and value, and those artists weigh in with their thoughts. Critical to the process is that the presenting artist is showing their art for the purpose of improvement, and they're prepared to receive that input because they're actively asking for it.

In contrast, I make this comic so people can read it, and while I certainly don't mind if they take it apart to analyze it or find ways the writing and art could be improved, I, the creator, am not asking for that and - more importantly - will not really benefit from it.

For instance, in this case, my style of background lighting and shading is optimized most specifically to accommodate for the fact that I need to make a lot of these pages quickly, and correspondingly cannot give everything 110%. Any individual panel could absolutely be more polished, but I often shade these backgrounds in batches of ten pages or more, each page with an average of six panels that need individual shading. So that's sixty individual backgrounds I need to shade in one go. It doesn't make your advice wrong, or even unhelpful for an artist setting out to learn this kind of technique - but it does make it unhelpful for me. This is something you realistically had no way of knowing, and I don't hold it against you! But this is why I have a short list of artists and writers whose input I actually ask for sometimes, and that list is composed of people who know me, my creative priorities, and how my process works. Because they know what I'm working with, their advice stands a much better chance of being actually helpful to me.

Criticism, like all art, has an audience it is designed for. In art school environments or artistic coworker situations, the audience for the criticism is the artist being critiqued and the other artists who are learning from the communal experience they are all agreeing to share. This is the exception and not the rule, however. Outside of this space, the audience for criticism of a work of art is typically the subset of the audience for that work of art that are trying to learn something from the experience or understand what did and didn't work for them. This group can discuss what they did and didn't like, what they would have changed, what parts worked for them that may not have worked for other members of the audience, etc. This space of critical analysis forms the backbone of most fandoms and can be incredibly interesting and rewarding to play around in.

The audience for that kind of criticism is not the creator of the art. In the same way a creator can never be fully immersed in their own fandom audience, this form of communal critique from the audience side of things does not work when directed at the creator. In the context of this work of art, we exist in very different spaces and operate under different parameters. If there's one thing I learned from back when I used to check in on the fan discord community, it's that most conversation in this space operates under the assumption that the creator will not see it or take it personally. I cannot be in the audience of my own audience.

All that to say, thanks for the thought, but please be careful doing this in the future - tumblr is the land of kneejerk hostility and poor reading comprehension, and I don't want to see you getting shredded for a kind intention. And I hope some people find this impromptu tutorial helpful!

#asks #aurora #art stuff

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tomwaterbabies · 2 months ago

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Hi there 👋 I'm also here to ask more about the robot au. Does Donella know about Varian being Ulla's perfect robot? Or does Hugo tell her about Varian when he initially finds out? I'm curious as to whether Donella plans to take apart Varian to learn more of Ulla's secrets.

How does sleeping and eating work for Varian? Does rain or being immersed in water affect him? Does his energy come from magic or science? (Like is he solar powered, or is there a magic energy source keeping him working?)

What are Yong and Nuru's reactions to realizing Varian is a robot? After finding out he himself is a robot, does Varian ever try to communicate to other robots, even the rogue ones, to stop them or to test if they are as sentient as him? Are there other sentient robots besides Varian, or is he the most advanced? I imagine Varian not only dealing with an existential crisis but feeling out of place with both people and robots (not human enough to be human, but too advanced to be labeled another robot).

Also any other fun robot quirks of Varian?

Sorry if it's a lot of questions.

im spinning in circles throwing lots of confetti all around u if u dont like confetti imagine its something else its something u like

currently i am Undecided on if donella knows what varian is. either way she would definitely find out, and i think it would probably be from hugo IF she doesnt know already. im actually going kind of insane about the idea that she wants to take him apart so i'll be real with you that is now part of this au. thank u. hugo would not know about this specific goal donella has

because he is meant to perfectly integrate with humans, most things are normal for him! his system, while synthetic, still works Mostly like a biological human. water doesnt really have an effect on him BUT i think he was programmed with a "fear" of cold weather to avoid being in the snow too much because it can damage him a little bit (excessive cold has a negative effect with his system)

his energy source is partially magic and partially science! the reason he is sentient is he does, truly, have a soul. this isnt really fully understood by him at first (and the source of much angst, naturally), but the reality is the magic that ulla harnessed was the ability to give him life. as for the rest of his energy- he's mostly solar powered! it helps that he lives in corona, the light kingdom. out on the road he's usually able to still stay energized- but i can imagine times where all energy sources are getting depleted and he acts a little loopy (its fun)

yong and nuru definitely are, well, shocked? like it is an insane thing for anyone to witness. but despite their confusion they definitely still care deeply for him. yong in particular is inquisitive about varian's robot-ness, i think that can get a little uncomfortable for varian sometimes but he knows he means well

i think the gang would at some point try and find ways to communicate with the other robots via varian! im unsure currently if that would ever be successful, but it would absolutely be something they'd try considering how varian's existence is basically the Key to a lot of this. that being said, while they probably dont know for sure, i can say that varian is the only sentient robot- unless you count what ulla did to herself (uploading her consciousness/soul basically lol. scary AI mode)

"not human enough to be human, but too advanced to be labeled another robot" obsessed with this btw. yeah..... You Get It. in general varian's character desperately trying to find his place is a super important element to me- so it manifests in the robot au like this exactly. but being with yong, nuru, and hugo eventually leads to him finding kinship with them. which, i think, is pretty similar to the regular version of vat7k (where he doesnt find himself within corona OR his mother's extended family- but instead with this group of weird nerds). varian might always struggle with his lack of human traits and his humanity that other robots dont have- but his friends and family, who are notably weird and unique in their own ways too, certainly help get rid of those bad feelings and reassure him

as for fun robot quirks... oh most definitely. remind me later (<- im telling myself this too) to talk about them bc i already made this way too long and listing off Fun Robot Quirks Of Varian is gonna make this even longer ksjdfhsd

here's one for now: when he gives hugs he can sometimes cause someone's hair to go puffed up from the static electricity. this also includes kisses but how will they Ever find that out :)

#dont apologize.... im so glad i got to answer these LOL #IM sorry if this got too long lmaoooo. i just Need to Talk about it #asks #vat7k #robot au

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greghatecrimes · 2 months ago

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…can we have some more autistic thirteen pls?

oh my goodness, yes always and absolutely! Here are some thoughts I've been bouncing recently about autistic Thirteen & school over the years.

(Thank you in no small part to Bird + her Adams hcs for inspiring these. If you enjoy Adams in any way shape or form you should definitely check out her Adams meta).

For Thirteen, i think a lot of her time at school when she's younger is spent:

1) studying the other kids to mask and mimic their social behaviors, to try to fit in and make things easier (for her and her family, more on that in a sec);

and 2) when overstimulated, wanting to be left alone so she can read or be immersed in whatever she's working on (science project, art project, etc). she likes learning, she's curious. and I think as a child she wouldn't like being interrupted when she's deeply focused. she needs her space.

in my brain, I'm imagining that she knows she's Different even if she's not quite sure how; and she knows that she doesn't want to be another problem that dad (or brother) can't fix, so she decides she'll fix it herself. however, i don't think she fully realizes it's a problem until she gets comments from teachers about her behavior (examples of said behavior, from a post I did on Masking Thoughts: She sticks out at school, she's awkward, she's too loud or too quiet, or she can't handle things like lights and sounds and smells that the other kids don't seem to pay any attention to. Her teachers scold her when she doesn't have 'quiet hands' or when she 'can't keep her emotions under control'. It gets harder to make friends; the other kids don't talk to her much. She can act like them if she puts in the work, if she studies them hard enough and mimics and 'learns their language', so to speak; but she can't make herself be like them. No matter how hard she tries.)

In my mind's eye I see it happening as little seven year Remy being given a letter to take home to "her mom and dad" by her teacher. she opens it and reads it before she goes home that day, and it says something something concerns about your daughter being different something something social abnormalities, whatever words they wanted to use back then instead of saying people were neurodivergent. and i think that's when she gets it in her head that it's something about her that needs to be "fixed" and that SHE can "fix it". So she throws the letter away and her dad never hears about any of it. Which is extremely black and white thinking to me. And specifically she has this "fixing" thing in her brain because "dad can't fix mom, he doesn't need to feel like he can't fix anything else".

in high school I think she'd have learned to mask enough that i think she would have a small group of close friends, and a decent amount of acquaintances that she knows and gets along with but isn't close with. the only people that really know her are the 1-4 close friends she has at any given time (and it takes her a little bit to trust and let them in.) she'll hang out in a group if it's what everyone wants to do, but because of getting easily overstimulated and how exhausting masking is, I think she prefers small groups for sure. at get togethers or birthday parties i think she'd always break off and end up in a cluster with 2-3 others instead of being with the bigger main group.

i think when she's younger (like 14-15) she doesn't get why people want to go to school dances. she just stays home and enjoys a quiet evening. then when she's 16 (and for the rest of high school) she comes around a bit and learns to let go and enjoy; she agrees to go and has fun, but the second she's not enjoying it anymore or gets too overstimulated, she's outta there and figuring out a ride home lol

however despite her masking and mimicking others' social behavior to fit in, I don't think she would do any kind of drinking in high school at the parties she went to. i think she'd have too much anxiety about losing control (in the "i watched my mom lose control of her body" sense and the more general "control freak" sense as well).

hopefully you enjoy!! please always feel free to talk to me about autistic thirteen or ask for more thoughts on her. she is thee blorbo ever.

#ask #anon #autistic thirteen #remy thirteen hadley #headcanons

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justchillandshipit · 5 months ago

Text

I've seen a few posts about hoping they are together by the end of season 8. I don't know that I want it that quick. (Unless there is not going to be a season 9) I like a slow burn, and granted coming out of the closet has taken way too long, but I don't want the slowness of their story to be just waiting on that part. So here is a personal wish list.

First half of season 8 - I want Eddie fully immersed in therapy. He's trying to heal himself for Chris, but he has been struggling because Buck has been his trigger. During this time we see Buck prioritizing Eddie over his other relationships. Working under Gerard has added new pressures to Buck that he's never experienced when he identified as heterosexual. By the end of the first half, I want Eddie to realize that he is in love with Buck. If Eddie identifies as gay, I don't want this to be a revelation for him. This is something he already knows and hasn't been open about. I would rather the breakup with Tommy happen in the first half.

The second half of season 8 - I want to see Eddie going to Hen & Karen to talk to them about his feelings for Buck. He doesn't come out to them by saying hey, this is what I am. He comes out just by admitting he's in love with Buck. I want at least one episode where we get some sort of idea of Eddie in his past, so we start to learn why he doesn't come out. We see and meet his sisters. We see Chris come back if he hasn't already. We see him actually come out with Chris and Chris is chill with it, but he does say he wouldn't want his Dad to date Buck because he doesn't want Buck to go away. (something he says without knowing that Eddie is in love with Buck.) I want the second half to be full of small moments that can pass in episodes that aren't necessarily devoted to Buddie. These small moments would be him noticing Buck, staring at Buck, just a lot of moments where he is listening to Buck talk without ever saying anything. I want a return to domestic Buddie spending time with Chris, and that is when Chris begins to notice a difference in the way his Dad is with Buck. (noticing the stares, the listening, etc. all the things that he's learned from Eddie about being in love.) It allows him to see the difference in how his Dad used to be and he has a change of heart about Eddie seeing Buck. Since Chris is still a kid though, he doesn't have subtly about it. He just blurts out. Dad, I changed my mind. You should date Buck. Eddie is surprised, a little embarrassed because he knows the comment did not come out of nowhere. Buck on the other hand is totally floored and asks him where that came from. He thinks Chris has misunderstood something about sexuality. Chris does something similar to what Buck did to Chim and Maddie by pointing out all the ways they're practically dating anyway. He ends by just saying "Night." and getting up and leaving the room. Buck is like, "What just happened?" Eddie doesn't know how to respond to Buck either so he just doesn't do anything. It isn't until Buck leaves, with the idea firmly planted in his mind, that Buck has his second huge epiphany. We end the season with Buck going to either Maddie or Bobby and admitting that he's in love with Eddie.

It will not be until season 9, when everybody is going crazy trying to get Buck to confess to Eddie or get Eddie to confess to Buck that we finally get full Buddie Each half of the group knows half the story from either Buck's perspective or Eddie's. Then maybe we can finally get an episode titled "Buddie Begins"

#buddie #911 abc #oliver stark #ryan guzman #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 spoilers #buck #911 on abc #speculation

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marigolddove · 2 years ago

Text

Love Begins With Murder, Believe it or Not.

Part One

This is a request from @yandere-dark-cupid, I'm sure you intended for this to be a one-shot...buuuuut I got super carried away because I L O V E mafia/mob AUs. They're my favorite all around and I just couldn't help myself, especially when you said you wanted a sweet civilian that's my jam. So, yeah this is part One for now, I'm thinking this is gonna end up being 3 parts minimum with how it's going and I will tag you in all 3, thanks for the request it was so much fun to plan and write and I hope you're happy with it!

Warnings: Blood and violence at the start, bit of torture and mentions of murder. Only at the very start though.

💀♥️💀

If Wally Darling could only choose two qualities he hates most in this world he would choose dishonesty and disloyalty. Both of which this sorry bastard strapped to a chair in his office have. Wally didn't need to watch to know Barnaby was doing his job and doing it well, making this insignificant waste of air scream and wheeze through his gag.

He had more important things to focus on anyhow, like his craft for one. Having grown bored of reading recent reports and approving deals with neighboring rival groups, he turned to what he really loved most: art.

Sure now it was only a hobby compared to his full time job of running his family, but in his younger years it was his passion; his reason to get out of bed each morning and breathe. He's become weary and disappointed by his lack of motivation and inspiration as of late. There was a time when no one could pull him away from an easel or a sketch book for hours; but now, even with the tension and emotions bouncing around the room from this well deserved "lesson" he couldn't fully immerse himself in his work.

At a particularly loud and strangled cry from the now ex-member of his family, Wally growled and scribbled through his current piece so violently the paper ripped; then tossed the sketchbook and pencil haphazardly onto his desk. He finally turned his attention to Barnaby and his victim.

Barnaby, having heard his friend's frustration through the gasping breaths of some no-name newbie who crossed Eddie and Frank, immediately fixed his attention onto Wally.

"Everything alright boss?"

"Just peachy." Wally sneered sarcastically, clasping his hands tightly together on his desk, "I believe I'm now tired of our session, you can take him and finish this up elsewhere, please? Oh, and on your way out get Julie for me."

Barnaby immediately unstrapped the man from the chair and threw his weak, limp body over his shoulder, "Sure thing boss, I won't take up more of your time; but I'll be around if ya' need me." He moved to grab the bloodied and soiled chair, but stopped when Wally waved dismissively.

"No need for that, leave the chair and the mess, I'll have someone else clean that. Thank you Barnaby, be safe." Barnaby nodded and with that left the now slightly dank office.

Now alone for a moment, Wally leaned back into his leather seat and sighed, typically he wouldn't have these sessions in his office but this had been a…special occasion. A heat of the moment call if you will.

You see, that man had been new to the family, very new. He had yet to learn just how important family really is to Mr. Darling, but when he put the lives of Eddie and Frank into danger well…now he knew. All could have been forgiven had he shown a bit of sympathy and care for his new found family, but all he seemed to care about was his wallet. Selling personal information about individual members of the family to rival groups or reporters, one of those stories being about Eddie and Frank.

Wally has never frowned upon interpersonal relationships, in fact he had encouraged it. Afterall, love is a beautiful and wonderful thing and he was so pleased it had been found in his friends. It was just such a shame that others didn't seem to share his sentiments on the matter.

Running a hand through his hair, he attempted to correct any loose curled strands that fell into his face and onto his ears during his episode moments before, using any residual hair product still in his hair to hold them back in place. He began to straighten his posture and his desk at the sound of heel'd footsteps against the hardwood floors of the hall outside his door.

Soon in walked Julie, dressed in a very fine magenta three-piece suit, a black criss-cross bow tie, classic black heels and her hair curled and pinned back to perfection; jewelry accenting her manicured hands. Wally felt a swell of pride and admiration towards Julie's sense of confidence and style.

"Well, don't you look fierce today my friend." He started warmly at her entrance, she beamed at his compliment; only briefly glancing at the bloody mess at the center of his office before seemingly losing interest and turning her attention back to him.

"I woke up feeling fierce, so I just had to go all out today," she states as she moves to stand in front of his desk, hands on her hips, "so," she glances at the distressed art book still on his desk, "Barnaby said you needed to see me?"

"Yes, I just sent him to take care of that…problem we were having, and it occured to me that the problem had a romantic partner. A young woman by the name of…" he examined a note he wrote for himself, "Ah, Allison Forester."

A look of understanding flashed across Julie's face, "You need me to take care of her?" She was surprised when he shook his head.

"No, no that won't be necessary. Our message will be clear soon enough, and there was never any evidence she was involved in his little scheme." His face turned a bit sour at the end before reverting back to neutral, "No, I want to send her flowers as an apology for his mess and for my rash actions." He sounded anything but apologetic, in fact he smiled just a tiny bit when calling his actions 'rash'.

"Oh, okay, sure thing sir. Any types of flowers in particular?" She knew Wally was very detail oriented and wanted to be sure he was giving her full creative liberties.

He waved dismissively, "No, just something pretty, that's all for now. You're dismissed, be safe." Turning his attention back to the art book, Julie knew he was now ignoring her; but she didn't take it to heart, he never meant anything by it, that's just how he was. Quick and to the point, and once the point was over he was done with it entirely.

—————————

Julie closed the office door behind her as she strutted her way back out into the main area of the building, the building they're in used to be strictly an office building, but since it fell into Wally's hands it was almost like an art studio where business happened to be held. He had completely renovated the building, still keeping some of the office spaces (not all of them were used as such however) but also turning part of the building into his own private home and space. They had more official places of business elsewhere, this one was just for comfort, for him to be himself.

Only the closest of family members were allowed to work here, the most trusted and beloved; because Wally does love them, even with his business facade and too-cool-for-you appearance she never doubted his love for her and the others. How could she when they're family?

Julie decided she wouldn't leave until she could say goodbye to Frank and Eddie, they were her two closest friends in and out of the organization, and she knew that the recent news of betrayal had hit Frank hardest. Behind their serious and uncaring demnor hid a very emotional individual only she and Eddie really got to see.

It didn't take very long to find them and when she did she nearly hesitated, they were having a moment together and seemed to be having a very serious conversation. Together they sat on a velvet bench in front of a few art pieces Wally had completed, their fingers were interlocked as they faced once another. It seemed so pure and intimate, she nearly turned to leave until Eddie spotted her out of the corner of his eyes and offered her a soft smile and silently waved her over.

When she reached the two she immediately pulled them both into a tight hug, "I'm so sorry, everything's gonna be okay, Wally will take care of this. I know he will." The two hugged her back just as tight.

"Thank you, Julie. We're grateful for the support." Said Eddie, his southern charm as endearing as ever. She felt Frank nod against her shoulder and sniff a little.

She pulled back and with as big of a smile as she could manage, Frank made it a little hard though, her poor friend's face was tear stained and eyes a bit redder than normal. They'd definitely been crying, and looking at Eddie she found unshed tears locked in his eyes and his face more flushed than usual. Good riddance to that idiot, whatever his name had been.

She'd never been the violent or hateful sort, usually charasmatic and subtle, but if Wally or Barnaby had refused to do something about that guy…well, she had no doubts she would have taken him herself.

"So where does Wally have you going?" Eddie asks, changing subject, a knowing look in his eyes. He was a sharp character, so she didn't have to ask how he knew Wally had given her a task.

"I'm glad you asked, he's asked me to pick up flowers for a lady, I wanted your advice on a good shop for it. He wants them pretty." Eddie raised a brow at her and she chuckled, "Not that kinda lady, I'm afraid. It's for the…uh, girlfriend of the scum bag."

"I'm surprised he's sending her anything but a death threat." Frank says.

"Yeah, well boss says she didn't have nothin' to do with what went down. She's just a civilian caught up in it."

Frank nods while Eddie gets this excited look in his eyes, "Oh! I know just the place, hold on," he shifts and reaches into his back pocket to pull out a nice leather wallet, he takes out a small business card and hands it to Julie, "This place is really good at making bouquets, one of the employees there is a real charmer. Name's Y/N, (e/c) eyes and (h/c) hair. They're an artist when it comes to flowers, I swear." He said with a bright smile on his face, before turning a bit sheepish as the tips of his ears turned red, "I, uh, used to go there a lot back when I would get flowers for Frank." He admits.

Frank practically has hearts in their eyes as they gaze lovingly at Eddie and his bashful face, Julie giggles at how cute they are together. They truly deserved the happiness they found in one another.

"Well then, this is where I'll go then! How can I say no when you give such a sparkling review?" She teases, looking over the card and memorizing the address before tucking it into her pocket, "If I tell them your name will I get a discount?" She joked, but suddenly Eddie got a look of realization on his face.

"Ya know what? You actually might! Y/N owes me a bit of a favor, so you just tell her Eddie Dear sent ya and I'm sure she'll do something for ya." Both Julie and Frank gave him a questioning look so he continued, "There was a big ol' spider in there the last time I went, poor thing was absolutely terrified, sitting on the counter and staring at it. So, I killed it for them and they gave me an IOU, they wanted to give me my flowers for the day free of charge, but I refused." He explained with a shrug and a sweet smile.

"Flowers probably won't be too expensive and it's on Wally's dollar so I'm not really worried about it, but I'll still tell them you said 'hi'."

"Please do!"

Julie turned to leave, but not before giving one more tight hug to Frank, rubbing their back soothingly. They return the hug just as tightly.

"Be safe, and come back soon…I think I wanna talk to you alone later. I have a lot on my mind." Frank whispers into her ear, although Eddie might've heard it. He didn't speak on it.

She pats their back, "Sure thing, bestie."

With that she ends the hug and waved as she leaves the room, leaving the two as they embrace one another and continue speaking 'I love you's in hushed tones.

—————————

The flower shop is only 15 minutes from Wally's "home", and even though she recognizes the strip its located in, she's certain she's never noticed the shop before. It's surrounded by restaurants and a bakery, but now that she's noticed it she can appreciate just how cute it looks. It's small and the sign is elegant while the actual building itself is colorful compared to the rest surrounding it. It's actually so colorful she wonders how she's never noticed it before.

She enters the establishment with a ring from the bell hanging just above the door signaling her entrance, the inside is a bit more simple compared to the outside, mostly natural woods and white paint while the flowers brought the room to life with their vibrancy and colors. To her right she sees a (e/c) and (h/c) employee, just as Eddie had described.

You jump up from a stool you had been sitting on behind the counter with the register. Greeting her with a bright, relaxed smile.

"Oh! Hello, welcome, my name is Y/N. Is there any type of flower you're looking for in particular today?"

"Hello, my name is Julie. Julie Joyful, how do you do?" She asks cooly, approaching the counter and outstretching her hand, your smile somehow becomes even more dazzling at her introduction and greeting.

"I'm doing well actually, thank you for asking."

Julie reaches into her pocket and pulls out the business card holding it up, "I got your card from Eddie, he says hello and that you're quite the florist." You move out from behind the counter with a gasp, still smiling.

"Oh! Eddie sent you? Does he need more flowers for that friend of his? I thought for sure he would've won them over by now!" You laugh.

"Nope, he only recommended you, I'm here for another friend of mine actually." Julie corrects, a smirk growing on her lips, "Oh, and that friend has certainly been won over. They're so cute it's sickening."

"Oh I knew it! I had a good feeling about him, I don't always have a good feeling about every customer who comes in, but he was definitely one of the sweetest. Definitely a lot of love in his heart, for sure." You say as you approach a table next to the counter, readying some wrapping and bows/ties, "So, this friend of yours," you start with a lilt, "Are they a friend, or a friend." Julie laughs at your teasing insinuation.

"A friend, and the flowers are actually for a funeral…kinda." You immediately drop a pair of scissors you pulled out of a drawer onto the table, turning with a look of horror on your face.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have been so casual and I shouldn't ha–" Julie laughs, interrupting your hurried apology.

"No worries, it wasn't anyone close to me or to him. It's more of a courtesy thing, I guess."

A bit of color returns to your face as you visibly relax, realizing you hadn't offended Julie. Even so, next time no funny business!

"Well is there any particular message you'd like to send using the flowers? Or do you just want a bundle of the same type of flower? White lilies are very popular for funerals, although they're also great for weddings and symbolize purity, and then there's marigold's. They're a bit deceiving, because while they look bright and sunny they really represent mourning and grief."

Julie took a moment to examine the flowers filling the room, "You can also just choose whatever is prettiest to you, all flowers have special meanings and can be a sentence all on their own, but not everyone cares too much for that as long as they're pretty." You continue, not focused on Julie so much as you browsed the flowers, mentally comparing combinations in your head.

"I'll let you decide, Eddie said you're like an artist when it comes to flowers, so I'll trust you know what you're doing." You hum in response to let Julie know you heard her.

"You said the flowers aren't for anyone close, but are they a friend or family?"

"Family…kind of, I guess. They're for the girlfriend of a distant recently deceased family member."

"Ah, so like you said, a courtesy bouquet."

You take a moment to decide, then you immediately set to work, three types of flower should be enough, a short sweet message, "Coral rose, marigold and blue salvia." You say as you expertly cut the appropriate amount of each flower.

"What would that mean?" Julie asks, watching as you move the flowers to the table and clip leaves from the stems.

"Coral roses can mean friendship and modesty, but in this case it means sympathy. Marigolds, as I said, mean mourning and grief; while blue salvia means 'thinking of you'." You explain softly as you arrange and wrap the flowers gently in a neutral paper; then finally tying it together with a matching cord.

"So essentially I'm trying to tell her: 'You're on my mind and I sympathize with your grief.' short and sweet."

Julie smiles as you turn around and hand her the finished bouquet, it's more colorful than she would've thought a mourning bouquet is supposed to look, but it is pretty just like Wally requested and it has the meaning, "Perfect!".

You smile, pleased that she likes it, before moving behind the counter to ring her up; but then you remember that Eddie recommended her…you do owe him a favor. Maybe this was his favor?

"So how much do I owe ya?"

"Nothing, it's on the house, this time."

She looks up from the flowers to make eye contact, "You sure? They can't be that expensive, I don't mind paying, it's outta my buddy's wallet anyway."

"It isn't that expensive, which is why I don't mind letting this one go. It's for a good cause and I owe Eddie, I don't know if I'm calling this his one favor, but it's nice to do something nice for someone else." Julie smiles at your kindness.

"How about I just pay half then? Just consider it a special discount." That sounded like good middle ground.

You agreed to her compromise, charging her only fifteen dollars, "Thank you for your business, have a wonderful day and I hope your friend approves of the flowers!"

Julie thanked you for your help and waved goodbye before leaving the store and returning to her vehicle, delicately carrying the bouquet.

I am already working on Part Two now!

#welcome home #Wally Darling #Wally Darling x reader #Mafia!Wally Darling #Mob!Wally Darling #Mafia!AU #Violence #Julie Joyful #Eddie x Frank #fanfic

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