#to deal with them has had on people and really digging into what it Means to be The Last Time Lord and why his genuine desire to just help | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

skteezcursed · 7 months

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❝DEVIL LOOKING ANGEL❞ — p.sh & l.mh

PAIRING. park seonghwa x fem!reader x lee minho.

SYNOPSIS. Seonghwa and Minho both have a crush on you, and one day they decide to share you with each other so everyone wins.

GENDER. smut. tiny bit of fluff.

AU/TROPE.friends to friends with benefits. non idol au. uni au (implied).

RATING. R (+18) - MDNI.

WARNINGS. mean dom hwa. mean dom minho. brat sub reader. normalization of drinking. oral (f and m receiving). face fucking. tongue fucking. fingering. edging. overstimulation. slight voyeurism. pussy slapping. spanking. praises and degradations. dacryphilia. pet names (pretty, slut, whore). sir is used to refer to both minho and seonghwa. unprotected sex (please don't). double penetration. aftercare is also important.

WORD COUNT. 9k.

NOTES. english is not my first language. sorry for the 9k, i got caried away, also, this is way more filthy than I originally planned. first smut ever so bare with me, please. thanks @cybrsan and @straykidsholicleigh for believing that i could write smut, hope it lived up to the expectation, bye ♡.

IMPORTANT. this is a work of fiction, it has zero intent on portraing how any of the people quoted here are in real life.

CREDS. dividers by cafekitsune ♡

You’ve always knew Felix was rich, both him and Changbin had always been the richest of the group, which was why whenever there was a party or any type of celebration, their places would be the first ones to be considered, so there was little to no surprise when Felix called everyone to his family lake house for a start of the summer celebration.

As a magnet, your eyes searched for the two men that have been living in your mind rent free since they joined your friend group. Park Seonghwa and Lee Minho. You have seen many gorgeous men in your life, hell, your friend group could be considered the one with the hottest guys around, but there was something about Seonghwa and Minho that always drawn you to both, although you never actually acted on it, but flirty comments and moments had always been a constant presence in between you three.

In all truth, you couldn’t choose and the fact they are friends – even prior to be in your group – it made it even harder. Your fingers and toys being the only companions whenever the situation got to a certain extreme, especially when both became extremely flirting with you in a row, as they never did really get close to you if they were both in the same room, which didn’t help the choosing process. If you could ever choose.

There was no surprise when your eyes met with both of them near the infinite pool of Felix’s lake house. Minho still had his shirt on, dealing with the meat, but Seonghwa was already shirtless, arms stretched on the edge, eyes fixed on you, as if he could undress you and you were barely there for five seconds. Minho’s eyes noticed Seonghwa’s and finally found your figure at the entrance, talking to Felix. Feeling both eyes on you, eating you, didn’t help with the butterflies on your stomach.

“Minho is almost done with the first batch, Chan is in the kitchen with Ji and Joong making snacks, you wanna drink something?”

“Whatever you guys are having,” your voice was met with a can of beer in front of you as a hand landed on your lower back, feeling the water wet your shirt, meeting with Seonghwa smirk, “Hwa, this is yours I-”

“It’s okay, I was about to get Minho another one, I can get two more on the way while you finish this one,” his lips met with your cheek as the pads of his finger digged a little on your side, the clothes probably helping with not leaving a mark. “I’ll be right back, go be a good girl and keep Minho company while I get us something to drink.”

You felt hot through out your body, resting on your cheeks and in your lower stomach, holding yourself not to brush your thighs together at the pet name and what Seonghwa was asking, trying to ignore how his fingers still lingered in you, even through the shirt. The beer came right to your mouth and you drank down the liquid, needing a little bit of liquid courage to go through that party. Minho already had his signature smirk in your direction, and you drank the rest of the beer, throwing your can besides his near the lawn.

“Hey pretty, how is it going?”

His left hand extended to you as you held his hand in yours, feeling the pull towards him, as he wrapped his left arm around your waist, his hand still entangled with yours as his lips met with your right cheek, you felt his thumb caress slightly your back, but never unlocking your fingers.

“I’m good, and you? Is anyone helping you out, can I do anything?”

“I’m okay, Hwa has been helping around, mostly bringing me drinks,” he laughed lightly, but never really leaving your hand, “you can keep me company if you want, wouldn’t mind at all to have you around.”

Before you could answer, Seonghwa voice could be heard, and you slipped your hands from Minho, missing the way his eyes fell slightly on his hand before exchanging looks with Seonghwa, as you were too busy getting both yours and Minho’s drink. Both boys exchanged quick looks as you opened Minho’s can before handing it out to him, grabbing yours and opening, looking at both raising your can, being followed by both with a small smile.

“Lix said you almost done with the meat.”

“Yeah, hold on, let me give you a piece and you tell me what you think.”

“You can tell the truth, he’s a big boy,” Seonghwa said with a sly smile while you drank more of the beer as you saw their eye exchange, “I think he can take a pretty girl saying his food is bad.”

“I can take a pretty girl saying anything to me as long as I have her attention.”

You felt your cheeks burn and you lowered your head, but noticed the exchange of glances between the two this time, not missing the compliment that both said. Your mind going a hundred miles an hour, only getting worse as you felt his hand on your forearm squeezing slightly catching your attention and giving you a piece of the meat he had just taken out of the grill.

Ignoring the best you could the way both pair of eyes were staring at you, how their eyes lingered on your lips, how Minho’s thumb went to clean the grease that was falling from the corner of your mouth before he brings his own thumb to his lips, how Seonghwa’s eyes lingering a little longer on you at that, the sly smile always present.

That should have been warning enough for what that day held for you.

The party had been full on throughout the day. You were going from group to group, few beers here, a bit of food there and you knew you were hitting your limit to some extend as you joined some of the people at the pool, taking the rest of your beer before going to the other edge, while mostly still stayed closer to the lawn as you headed to the infinite edge.

The sun was setting on the lake, making the rays of sunshine dance across the calm waves, your arms rested on the pool edge, a bit of the water falling through as the tips of your toes hit the bottom. You thanked that the lake was empty that day, most families still organizing to wander to that area, which meant you and your friends could have one of those parties.

Hands grabbed your waist as you felt a hot breath on your ear, your head turning slightly finding Seonghwa right there behind you, if he reached closer you could feel his perfect body against yours, and there was nothing you wanted more than that at that moment. The alcohol in your system quickly reaching the part of your brain that was in charge of morality, clouding it as you allowed your body to move a little away from the edge, your head resting on his shoulder slightly as you felt his arms wrap around your waist, hands resting on you lower belly.

You tried your best to ignored how close his hands were to your core, how his hot breath reached your ear, how his abs felt against your back, but most importantly, the slight poke you felt on your ass. There was no way he was actually hard, the alcohol was definitely messing with your mind.

“What you doing here by yourself?”

“Just felt like watching the sunset at the lake, I like it when there’s no one but us here,” he sensed how your breathing hitched as his lips touched the tip of your ear slightly, a light chuckle coming out of his mouth as you felt a small caress on your belly. “Why you here? I thought you and Minho were organizing some of the drinks.”

“Just didn’t feel right to leave a pretty girl alone,” a small kiss was placed on your neck, followed by a small bite that made you suppress a gasp, but not the jolt that your body made, bringing you more in contact with Seonghwa’s body. “Oh, you liked that didn’t you?”

“Seonghwa…” a plea leaved your lips as he kissed your neck again, one of his hands roamed at your side, as the other pulled you even closer to him body, allowing you to feel everything, “Please… Someone… Someone can see it…”

“I’m sorry pretty, but I’ve controlled myself too much and just like you said, there’s no one but us here and I’m sure everyone is too busy or drunk to notice us, right now.”

His right hand kept wandering around your body before resting on your thigh squeezing the inside of it, forcing you to open slightly.

“But what if someone approaches?”

Although his body never left yours, his mouth did, slow breathing right next to your ear. His right hand making small circles on the inside of your thigh, so close to where you wanted them, and yet, you two were still around everyone.

“Just say the word and I’ll stop,” you knew he meant it, mainly because he stopped with the caress at your silent, his hands moving to rest on the front of your thigh, a small whine leaving your lips as your right hand quickly found his, trying to keep him from straying too far away from where you needed them, a small chuckled was everything he gave you as a respond. “I knew we weren’t seeing things.”

“We?”

Seonghwa’s hand went back to where they were, but raising slowly closer to your core.

“You were never the most discreet person, you are a starer,” the pad of his middle finger finally meeting your clit still hidden from the swimwear, but sensitive nonetheless, making you bite your lip as he slowly and tortuously made circle movements with random points of pressure, “not that we have been the most discreet ones as well.”

“Hwa -”

“And now you are letting me touch you while all our friends are here,” you whined as he increased the moments of pressure on your clit, your right hand holding the edge of the pool, your waist moving to make your ass press against his bulge, “ah, and eager as well, but would you let me fuck you right here, in front of everyone?”

You held a moan at the thought, trying not to actually picture how badly you wanted him to do it, how badly you had imagined his hands roaming your body just like that, his fingers on your clit and inside of you, trying to ignore the outline of his cock against your ass.

“It’s not like you are not eager as well,” you wiggled your ass against his bulge and felt his grip tightens around your waist, while the other palmed your front, you turned your head trying to ignore how you could feel the tips of his fingers on you clothed core. “Like you said, it’s not like you have been discreet as to how you look at me.”

The sly smile you gave him was received with a smirk and a raise of eyebrows.

“Minho was right, you are a brat,” before you could gather the words that came out of his mouth, you felt him swiftly moving your bottoms to the side, feeling one of his fingers start to enter you, but not deep enough, “no words now, pretty?”

“So, you and Minho talked about me?”

Without warning he entered with another finger, deeper this time as you felt his palm press slightly on your clit, making you bite your lip repressing a moan.

“Oh pretty, we did more than just talk about you,” he curled his fingers inside of you before tortuously and slowly take them out and in again, as you rested your head on his shoulder, thanking for his broad shoulders to hide you two from everyone behind you, “you have no idea how many times we fantasized about your cunt? How many times we jacked off at the thought of you?” You clenched around his fingers, making him chuckled. “Oh, you like that pretty? The thought of us thinking about you? Sharing you?”

A whimper left your lips as he curled his fingers again, his speed increasing considerably.

“Couldn’t wait I see,” at that, your eyes opened finding Minho on your right, looking at you and Seonghwa with a sly smile and raised eyebrows, your right hand quick to hold Seonghwa’s forearm, but Minho’s hand were quicker holding your wrist as Seonghwa worked his fingers inside and out of you, his left hand leaving your waist making you lose your balance, as Minho was quick to stand in between you and the glass of the pool, left hand still holding your right wrist as the right held your waist, “can’t say I would have waited if I was in Hwa’s place.”

Seonghwa’s left fingers quickly found your swollen clit and started to rub circle figures with random pressure points as his fingers nimbly went in and out of your core, your left hand finding his left forearm but Minho was quick to take it and hold both wrists in front of you with his left hand while the right held your waist in place. You could feel the pressure of his fingers, knowing they would probably leave a mark, but you didn’t care, specially after you moved your hip up to feel Seonghwa’s bulge again while also trying to release the pressure he was doing on your clit, receiving a raise of eyebrows from Minho as you felt his fingers deeply on your waist before finding your hip and putting back into place, seeing as you bit your lip trying to repress a moan.

“You were right, she’s a brat.”

“So, I’ve gathered,” Minho answered, as his eyes wandered across your face, at how you would close your eyes and bite your lip, but both noticed when your body started to shake, a small exchange happened and Seonghwa’s fingers left your core, but his left still circling your clit slowly, as you whined in frustration of the stolen orgasm, “what is it? You’ve always wanted our attention, now you have it,” Minho took a step closer, Seonghwa’s fingers lazily playing with your clit as you felt yourself clench at nothing but the pool water, your wrists hurting from the hold Minho had on them. “You think you can handle our attention, pretty?”

“I thought I’ve always had it, what you talking about?”

Your voice cracked a little as Hwa’s fingers pressed a bit harder at your clit, but you didn’t miss the spark in Minho’s eyes, not holding back the smirk that showed, quickly vanishing as you felt Seonghwa’s fingers leaving your clit and covering everything back with your bottom part.

“Oh don’t worry, this is just the start,” Seonghwa quickly held your hips in place, pulling it up a little so you can clearly feel the outline of his cock against your ass as Minho got closer, lips mere centimeters away from your own, but you noticed how he held your hands as you felt the shorts he was wearing touch your fingers, before he pulled your hands lower and you extended your fingers, feeling the outline of his cock, he released a bit of the pressure on your wrists as you eagerly touched his covered cock. “We are gonna have so much fun with you tonight.”

It wasn’t like no one knew about the sexual tension between the three of you. Hell, everyone had a bet on who would break first, who would be the one you’d choose, if the three of you would become a throuple, when it would happen, if you would be with one while the other watched… In all honesty, the three of you have heard all of them and would be lying to not admit that all those options had never crossed either of your minds, yet, here you were, entering the room you knew it would be for the two of them, their colognes entering your nostrils and clouding your judgement more than the alcohol in your system.

The feeling of their hands on your skin, of Seonghwa’s fingers inside of you, the denial you received, the thought that finally you would be able to have what you were craving, by not one but both… That was exhilarating. The warmth that went through your core at the thought of both of them, of feeling Seonghwa’s fingers, to have Minho hold you down even if that left marks on your body, just the thought of having them close.

“Daydreaming pretty?”

As the door closes behind Seonghwa, you find yourself mere centimeters away from Minho, noticing how he has one shot glass on each hand. The lock of the door is heard as you also noticed Seonghwa with a bottle of tequila and another shot glass of his own in hand. Both with a sly smile and primal look, the type of look a predator would look at its prey, making a shiver run down your spine as both caged you, their little prey for the night.

“Not so talkative now, are we?” Minho purred as his right arm snatched your waist making your lower half find his, the outline of his cock still could be felt, even more with the soaked in shorts. “All talk and no fun?”

You felt as his nails dig into the skin of your waist, Seonghwa quickly behind you, making you feel his own clothed cock against your ass.

“I thought you had a smart mouth from all the things you said at the pool,” his head quickly lowering into your neck as you felt his lips lingering on your sweet spot, you could feel both getting harder of the situation, “thought I would have to find a way to shut you up.”

“It’s not like you guys gave me anything to talk about,” the smirk made them raise their eyebrows before a quick exchange and you feel the loss of Seonghwa’s warm while Minho’s face became closer to yours, you could feel his lips feather like against yours. “Guess someone else is all talk and no fun, right?”

At that Minho’s eyes focused on yours and you waited for the crash, for his lips to be on yours, but instead, the smirk reappeared on his lips as you heard the clack of the glasses as Minho’s hand went for the back of your neck meeting your hair and pulling it down making your neck all open for him to mark it as he gladly started kissing every little part of it, hearing as you moaned when he bit into it, allowing you to feel the smirk on his lips.

His hands roamed all over your body, but always pressing you against him, so no part of your front was too far away. Your hands were quick on his shoulders and hair, pulling it slightly whenever he bit down your neck, but his hands never touched where you wanted them most, until you pulled his hair stronger this time, getting a small groan out of him, bringing a small smile to your lips before you went in for a kiss, getting his cheek in response.

“You think it’s that easy?” He laughed leaving you completely, joining Seonghwa on the bed. Although the room had two single beds, as you saw when you entered, at some point they were connected creating one big bed, as each seated on one, the tequila right in between the sheets, each with a glass in hand. “Prove it you deserve it.”

“You say that as if you weren’t just as crazy to have my lips on you.”

Your giggle made their expression change and so you remembered some of the comments your friends had made, the small fame both had around campus and you felt another shiver down your spine, but you wouldn’t back down. If you had to work for it, so had they.

“Oh pretty, we will have your lips on us,” Seonghwa’s voice was husky as he drank up the tequila, barely a reaction on his face from the alcohol, “preferably with them wrapped around our cocks as you choke on them,” you pretended that phrase didn’t make a pool to form at the space in between your legs, trying your best not to brush your thighs together, not wanting to give them the satisfaction. “C’mere pretty, have a taste.”

You were quick on your feet and ignored how both men smirked at your reaction, but instead of heading for one of them, you grabbed the bottle, pouring some of the liquid in each of the three glasses, but instead of handing to them, you put each glass on their legs, which they agreed to allow it. You quickly brough your glass to your lips, the liquid burning on your throat as you turned to Minho, your knees finding the ground, you in between them.

As your hands roamed around Minho’s thighs you held eye contact as your mouth got closer to his crotch and, even though he looked unfazed, you could feel the twitch of his thighs under your palms as your mouth took the hem of the cup, finally breaking eye contact as you took the cup, your head fell back and the liquid quickly entered your throat as one of your hands took the glass from between your lips, putting it on top of Minho’s crotch, the tent even more visible after your little act.

Seonghwa was just observing, waiting for his turn. His hungry eyes landing on your chest, and for a second you thought about taking the top of the swimwear off, but not yet. Yours knees moved closer to the man still waiting with his shot glass in between his legs, but this time your hands wandered a little bit closer to the man’s crotch, the glass a little closer than where you remembered putting it in, bringing a sly smile to your lips as you moved your head forwards, your nose touching the outline of his cock that twitched at the small contact, making you giggle before taking the glass and repeating the same thing you did to Minho, only this time, part of the tequila fell from your lips as you took the cup from your lips.

Before you could react, Seonghwa’s right hand grabbed your jaw, pulling you to him making you lose balance and your hands land on his thigh. His eyes were dark and hungry and you knew what awaited you, you wanted whatever they would give you. The smile that creeped your lips making Seonghwa annoyed enough for a scoff to leave his lips as he pulled you closer, your breathings mixing, but none averted the eye contact.

“Don’t play games when you can’t win them,” you felt Minho’s breathe on your ear, his fingers tracing every part of your body as Seonghwa held you in place, “I believe you’ve heard stories,” your body answered for you as you felt Minho’s fingers trace the outline of the swimwear on your ass, going down until it make a light caress on you clothed core, the whimper that left your lips bringing a smile to the other two. “And yet, here you are begging us to fill you up, to treat you like the whore that you are,” he forced one of the pads of his fingers in your core and the other found your clit, making you clench your thighs, trapping his hand, “ah, you like when we call you a whore? A slut? Or at the thought of you being shared by the both of us?”

His finger on your clit makes small torturous movements making you move your hips and your nails to dig into Seonghwa’s thigh, a chuckled left their lips at your body’s response.

“Talk slut.”

The pressure of Seonghwa’s fingers on your jaw made you try to jerk away, only for his other hand to meet the back of your neck holding you in place. Minho worked his legs to meet between yours and force them open so his hand would be free to play with you.

“Yes,” you choked, “yes please, jus-just please touch me,” you cried as you felt Minho’s fingers nimbly pull you bottom to the side and play with your folds, “God please, just fuck me.”

At that, Minho entered two fingers at your soaking cunt, making you gasp as Seonghwa took the opportunity to put two fingers of his left hand inside your mouth, his right fingers still holding your jaw open as his face got closer to yours, hot breath mixing as you felt the familiar warmth at the pit of your stomach as Minho’s finger skillfully played with your cunt.

“So wet already, and all for us?” The mockery on Minho’s voice made you moan against Seonghwa’s fingers, a chuckled left Seonghwa as his fingers left your mouth, his right thumb caressing your bottom lip as you felt Minho curl his fingers inside of you. “How about we put that mouth use?” You moan loudly as his moved his fingers inside of you, but at your lack of response, a hard slap was felt on your left ass cheek, making you jolt forward, left hand on Seonghwa’s crotch. “Speak when spoken to slut.”

“Then stop moving your fingers like that and I might,” as soon as those words left your mouth regret filled you up as his fingers left your core making you clench at nothing and a hard slap was felt on your right cheek before Seonghwa’s hand found your neck, tightening just enough to make you gasp for air. “I’m sorry, I’ll be good, I promise.”

“Such a lying whore,” Seonghwa was now mere centimeters away from your face, “guess I should shut you up this time, no?” Minho’s hands griped your waist pulling it slightly back making your torso lower itself, a harsh slap at the same spot on your ass made you whimper as your eyes were still fixed on Seonghwa whose hand was palming himself through the shorts. “All I wanna hear is you gag around my cock, you hear?”

“Words, slut,” another slap and you jolted forward, lips touching Seonghwa’s but he made no effort to move closer, “sudden out of words?”

“You’d much like to hear me moan in your ear, wouldn’t you?”

Another hard slap and you whimpered, feeling your legs tremble.

“I think you are a little too dressed up for this, don’t you think Minho?” Seonghwa’s fingers played with the upper part of the swimwear, fingers gracefully moving on the edge of the cloth before fixing on your hardened nipple under the fabric, pitching it painfully as he held your neck, forcing you to eye him as you felt Minho taking your bottoms off, a muffled moan escaping his lips as he saw your glistering cunt. “Bottoms down, now upper part off.”

Seonghwa’s hands promptly took your upper part off, briefly letting go of your neck as Minho skillfully teased your wet folds open with his fingers, laughing as you pushed your body back trying to make his fingers get inside before a hard slap meet your ass before you feel him spread your legs wider, giving him all the access he needed. His fingers lazily going around your folds, teasing your entrance as you turned your head finding his hungry eyes already on you, drunk on your reactions.

“Time to put that mouth to use slut, try not to enjoy yourself too much.”

You felt his hot breath against your cunt and whimpered closing your eyes, anticipating the contact, but Seonghwa pulled your face back to him, and you met with his hard, red, leaking cock in front of you, making your mouth water. His left hand on his shaft as his right tangled on your hair pulling you towards his dick.

“Time for your first meal, slut.”

You didn’t need to be told twice as your hand went to the base of his cock the same moment Minho’s lips found your pussy making you moan against the tip of Seonghwa’s cock. His hand on your hair pulling you to his cock, as the tip met with your cheek and you took the message as Minho’s tongue ravish on your juice, you kissed the tip of Hwa’s cock, squeezing the base just a little before twirling your tongue around the top, but he forced your head down his shaft making your hand go for his hip as you gag trying to breath, feeling him twitching inside your mouth.

As Hwa pulled your head back, Minho’s face left your cunt, a hard slap on your ass before three fingers entered your dripping cunt and you closed your eyes before feeling a sting on your cheek before a Seonghwa make small caresses on your side, pushing your head back to his cock as your right hand skillfully started to stroke his length as his left fingers entered your mouth.

“That’s it, such a dirty slut, you love having your holes filled, don’t you?” The moan that left your mouth was answer enough as you felt Minho’s other hand reach your clit as the same three fingers kept going in and out, his mouth finding your third hole, kitty licks being left there as you tried to say something, making Seonghwa’s fingers leave your mouth. “Oh, you have something to say?”

“I want your cock, let me have your cock.”

“Beg for it.”

“I’m better at showing, let me show you,” your hand squeezed his length before your thumb go over the tip, taking pre cum as more lubricant, making your movements faster, “let me make you feel good sir, let me prove it with my mouth.”

“Keep talking like that and you’ll get a reward,” his thumb went for your parted lips as you wrapped it around it, “such a dirty slut.”

Minho left your ass at peace as he speed his fingers and circle movements around your clit make you whimper before taking Seonghwa’s cock on your lips one last time, taking him full, only stopping as you felt his tip on the back of your throat, howling your cheeks as you moved your head up and down his shaft, his fingers tangling around your hair, dictating the speed as you tried your hard not to moan as you felt Minho’s fingers curling inside of you.

The shaking of your legs being enough to tell him you were close and you prayed for them to allow you to come this time as Seonghwa started to also jolt his hips up, hitting the back of your throat harder, your nails digging into his thighs but he didn’t care and in all honesty, neither did you.

“Such a cock drunk whore you are,” you felt Minho’s teeth sink into your ass as his fingers curled heavenly inside of you. “Clenching so much around my fingers, can’t wait to use this hole for my cock.”

You clenched at his words, feeling your legs tremble harder and the built up increasing.

“That’s it, take it like the fucking slut you are, take my cock down your throat.”

Too much, it was too much, so damn good.

Until Minho’s warmth left you, at the same second you were about to cum, and you cried around Seonghwa’s cock that fucked your face mercilessly, ignoring how hard your nails digged into his thigh, but then you were free, your head was lifted by the hair, your eyes meeting Seonghwa’s gaze, he hadn’t cum yet, but he was close, you knew it, so you took his cock in your hands and started to stroke him again, seeing as his grip tighten on your hair.

“Get her on the bed,” fingers digged into your sides as your lower body was lifted by Minho, you could feel his three wet fingers on your skin, whishing they were back into you, curling inside, “I wanna fuck her mouth.”

As Seonghwa’s fingers left your hair, Minho tossed your body on the bed, you knew you wouldn’t be able to get there on your own, your legs still weak for the second denied orgasm.

“I’ll take her cunt then,” Hwa got on the bed pulling your lower body closer to the edge as he got on his knees, “enjoy her mouth, is just as heavenly as we thought it would be.”

“Fuck-” you said breathlessly as you realized that they had jerked off at the thought of you, “You two are just as perverted as I thought you’d be.”

“Don’t pretend you are an innocent angel and never touched yourself at the thought of us,” Minho said cynically, the tent on his shorts clearly an inconvenient, even if he looked unbothered, yet all you wanted was to see his cock, “or are you gonna pretend you never called us out while your fingers were deep inside of you?” Seonghwa pulled your hips lower, spreading you open, having a clear view of your swollen clit and soaking core. “You may look like an angel, but you were definitely a work of the devil.”

You clenched at nothing at those words, hearing Seonghwa curse under his breath looking at you all stretched and open in front of him, but all you could focus was the tent in Minho’s shorts. You liked your lips receiving a scoff, Hwa’s breathe still close to your core, but never close enough making you jolt your hip slightly, receiving a slap on your swollen cunt, making you scream as your eyes finally met Seonghwa’s hungry ones, his fingers lazily caressing the swollen organ, teasing you all over again.

“You can’t stop looking at Minho, have something to say?”

“I just-” another slap on your clit, making your hips jolt and you close as your eyes as his fingers lazily play with your folds now, teasing the entrance making you roll your eyes, “fuck, please.”

“Please what slut?” Minho got closer to the bed, both hands on his pocket and you could see the movement there, he was stroking himself through the shorts, your mind wandering to how red and leaking his dick was, making you wet your lips as your eyes focused on his shorts. “What’s so interesting in my shorts, hun?”

“I was just wondering, because my toys are pretty big, maybe even bigger than you,” a hard slap on your cunt made you cry loudly pulling the sheets with your hand, “if you are gonna do something than fucking do- AAAH FUCK!”

Two of Seonghwa’s fingers were soon inside of you as his tongue finally found your clit, kitty licks teasing you as he curled his fingers inside as you tried to close you legs around his head, finding two strong hands on both your thighs forcing them open, bringing them closer to your chest. Minho’s fingers sank into your skin and you found his dark look, you had pissed him off you knew that, but you didn’t care, as long as you could have his dick you didn’t care.

“Keep them open, whores like you know how to do that,” with a slap on both legs he released them, eyes fixed on you as your hands went to hold them open as Seonghwa started to suck on your clit, fingers nimbly in and out of your cunt making you see stars as the previous stimulation Minho made you through. You heard the bed creak, but you couldn’t open your eyes, only doing so once you felt something wet on your cheeks, meeting with Minho’s leaking cock inviting you to take it. “Now let’s keep that fucking mouth shut and suck it dry, and don’t you move your hands from your legs.”

You felt yourself clench against Seonghwa’s fingers, feeling his groan reverberate from your core up. You parted your lips leaving a moan mixed with a curse before looking back at Minho, his hand at the base of his angry leaking cock, God you could cum right there as you kissed the tip of his dick feeling the bittersweet taste on your mouth. Kitty licks were placed at the tip of his cock, small kisses in the mix as you saw how his dick twitched slightly from time to time as you teased him, only looking away as you felt Seonghwa back away from your cunt, finding his glistering lips and nose as his three fingers went to his mouth.

“Such a sweet cunt for such a filthy whore.”

Before you could answer, Minho’s hand held your head turning you to his cock.

“Now open.”

And so you did as he said feeling his hands around your head as his hips started to move slowly ahead, his cock filling your mouth. As his tip hit the back of your throat, Sengohwa’s lips were back at your cunt, his tongue heavenly going in and out of you, his nose hitting perfectly your clit as his arms held you in place as he tongue fucked you. Minho’s dick furiously getting in and out of your mouth, hitting the back of your throat every time, making you gag as you dig your nails into your legs that were already shaking.

You felt your throat and eyes burn and you knew you tear would soon fall, specially if they denied you another orgasm. You heard Minho grunt as his trusts became sloppy, you could tell he was close. The hum that Seonghwa would occasionally drop also said he was painfully hard as he stuffed his head against your cunt, nose making a sweet pressure on your clit as you felt his tongue inside you, thanking heavens for giving this man such an incredible and versatile tongue that could reach places you never thought it could.

Minho quickly let go of your face at the same time Seonghwa took his face from your cunt, denying for a third time your orgasm making you cry and let your legs fall, clenching around nothing as you saw Minho stroke his dick lazily and breathing heavy, as you waited for his cum, but it didn’t come, instead you were found with a cocky smirk as he controlled himself exchanging quick looks with Seonghwa who was now standing, cock red, leaking, begging for a release.

Your legs were failing you and they noticed as they caged you again against the mattress. Seonghwa predatorily hovering above you as Minho went behind you, feeling his hard wet cock against your back, his legs going under your arms as his hands roamed around your waist, slowly going up to meet your breasts, nipples hard and sensitive as his hands squeezed it harshly making you cry again, your head resting on his shoulder as Seonghwa stayed between your wimbling legs which he put on tops of his as he took your right breast in his mouth as your other one was receiving Minho’s left hand attention.

His right hand went to your throat squeezing just a little as he buried his face on your neck leaving open mouth kisses all over it, small bites here and there. Seonghwa’s right hand went back to your core making you move your hips for more contact, crying at how sensitive you were already but in search of your release nonetheless. You heard both chuckle at how eager you were. Minho’s left hand leaving your breast to hold your waist as Seonghwa started to give your left breast attention while his left hand took your right breast in, pinching your nipple from time to time.

“Should we mark our little whore?”

You cried at the comment and at Seonghwa’s fingers curling inside you, Minho’s teeth giving small bites against your skin, helping make your body shivers at the already three denied orgasms, the fourth already building it up.

“Let’s make sure everyone knows to whom this whore belongs to.”

At Seonghwa’s response, both focused on sucking and biting at your skin, Minho’s fingers making slight pressure at your neck as Seonghwa’s fingers worked in and out of your core, his palm pressing occasionally on your clit making you jolt your hips in desperate search for your released. You didn’t hold back any sound that came out of your mouth, their names slipping it along with a few cuss words, your body shaking uncontrollably as they try to hold you down, you could feel tears falling as they both stopped.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

You cried as your body shook, hot and desperate. Minho took your face to his, cleaning some of your tears before pulling you to a hungry sloppy kiss, his tongue entering your mouth with desperation, his fingers pressing against your skin. Minho’s lips were just like you imagined, you could kiss him for ours, his tongue exploring your mouth as his hands explored your body holding you in place as he pulled away from you before turning your head to Seonghwa who held your face to him, his lips quick to crash against yours, tongue quickly exploring your mouth as you felt Minho step away from you, as his hands held your waist up, making you stop kissing Seonghwa for a second.

“Time for your reward slut,” he laid on his back and you quickly straddled him, thankful for Minho’s strong hands helping to keep you up, Seonghwa observing everything with his hand slowly stroking his dick, “it’s time to bounce.”

Your hand was quick to find his hard angry cock, lining it up with your throbbing entrance. You torturously and slowly sank down his shaft, feeling his every inch coming inside of you, filling you up so good that you couldn’t help but moan his name as he was finally full inside of you.

“Thank fucking God,” the desperation in your voice made both laugh at you, but you honestly didn’t care anymore, as you ignored your wimbling legs as you started to bounce up and down in Minho’s length, his fingers sinking and helping you bounce on his cock, you knew you’d have marks the day after. “Hwa, please.”

Your hands quickly found his cock as you took it in squeezing a little before use the precum to help the movement, his hands grabbing your face and moaning against your lips as you felt Minho hold you up and start to thrust into you as Seonghwa stuck his tongue inside your open moaning mouth as you stroke him shakingly before he groan against your mouth and start giving kisses against your neck as Minho kept burying himself inside of you.

“So fucking beautiful my pretty little whore,” he bit your neck as you let out a small screaming moan as Minho kept hitting your cervix at every trust. “You gonna cum on Minho’s cock, you gonna let him fill you up nice and well?”

“Yes, fuck, yes ple-please!”

“Fuck you clenching so much around me,” Minho groaned and you felt his nails dig into your flesh deliciously as you squeezed Hwa’s cock, “Imma fill you up so good, you gonna keep my cum inside you, you got it?”

“Yes, yes sir, please fill me up, jes-fuck!” Your whole body shook uncontrollably as you felt Minho let you down on him, his whole length inside you and you whimpered desperately rocking your hips back and forth trying to finally get your release. “Please let me cum, please, I’ll do anything, please fuck, please!”

Minho slapped your ass holding your hips down as Seonghwa slapped your face taking your hands away from him, ignoring his aching cock as he cleaned some of the tears that dripped down your face, his tongue licking them away and you clenched around Minho feeling his fingers sink into your skin.

“Minho, we good?”

The groan made both you and Seonghwa chuckle as you felt his hands push you up, making you irritably accept that, feeling empty as Minho’s dick slide off you, sitting straight caressing your waist slightly.

“Think you can handle the both of us? Be a good little slut for us?”

Although Minho’s words where filthy and hit your core directly, the slight caress on your waist catching a little off guard, yet you caught yourself nodding eagerly.

“Words slut,” Seonghwa said with his thumb caressing your red face still from the slap he gave you, “we need to hear you say you want us to stuff you up and fuck you dumb like we know you want and like.”

“Hwa can take your cunt and I take your ass,” Minho’s teeth bit your shoulder making you shiver while Seonghwa’s hand found your nipple, playing with it, “and after he fill you up, I’ll take your cunt again and shove it right back into and mix it up with my own and you’ll keep both our cums inside of you.”

“Yes sir, I will.”

“Such a good whore for us, I think she deserves a reward no Minho?”

“You ready to cum, pretty little whore?”

“Yes, please.”

Swiftly, Seonghwa held your waist pulling you in as he laid back on the other bed, his feet founding the floor as you straddled him, quickly taking your hand and finding his hard cock and placing it at your entrance as you sank down. He was longer than Minho, but thinner, making it easier to slide into your aching core, you bounced a few times before he held you down, pulling you in against his chest, to make it easier for Minho to slide into your ass.

The tip of his cock at the rim of your ass and you close your eyes in anticipation. You felt the stretch and bit down your lip, but Seonghwa made you eye him and spread your lips open, a silent demand for you to not hold back, so you hid your face on the crock of his neck as you felt Minho stretch you out slowly and deliciously painfully as you felt both their cocks fill you up entirely.

“That’s a good whore, such a good whore taking both our cock on your holes,” the tips of Minho’s fingers caressing your back before landing on your ass with a hard slap making you jolt and feel both cocks move inside you, letting a moan escape against Seonghwa’s skin, “gonna fill you up so good you won’t be able to walk.”

Minho was the first to move as you sank your teeth into Seonghwa skin, hearing his groan in your ear, but as soon as your body relaxed, both boys held your body as they started to move in different rhythms. As Minho’s cock was coming out, Seonghwa’s was coming in, you were never fully filled and never fully empty.

Seonghwa’s hands were quick to find your ass cheeks spreading them as both thrusted relentlessly into you making you see stars and become a moaning and shaking mess. Minho pulled you up from your shoulders, one hand around your waist holding you up as the other played with your breast, allowing Seonghwa’s fingers to find your clit as the other squeezed your ass cheek oh so painfully.

The overstimulation was sending you skyrocket to the edge of the universe. Incoherent speech left your lips as both kept thrusting deep into you. Your moans started to become little screams as you felt your whole but heat up and tremble under their hands, you cried out trying to get away as the overstimulation became too much.

“Stay put slut, we gonna fill you up good and you gonna take like the pretty little whore you are.”

“You squeezing me so fucking good, guess you are indeed a whore, taking both cocks so well, begging to be filled up.”

“Gonna cum slut? Gonna cum on Hwa’s cock?”

“Can you even take us both? You think you can handle Minho after I fill you up, hun?”

“Yes, yes I can, please sir, please fill me up, please make me cum, I promise I can take both cocks, please.”

You cried out clenching around them as you screamed one last time before feeling the so denied wave of pleasure rush through your body, crying even harder as they didn’t stop, searching for their own release. You were now their personal fuck toy, and you weren’t even mad at that.

“Fuck she’s clenching so much!”

“Take our cum slut, take it all.”

Minho took his dick away from your ass and released your body that was quickly embraced by Sengohwa who thrusted harder into you, helping build up another orgasm on the way as you cried against his neck.

“Fuck just like that, take my cock you filthy slut.”

“Hwa plea-please…OH FUCK!”

You felt his seed spill inside of you the same moment your second orgasm hit, but not even a second later and Minho pulled you out of Seonghwa, turning you on the back, the mattress sinking in between your legs and you feel the small stretch of Minho’s girth in your gummy walls and moaned in pleasure again, your hands quickly finding his forearm that held your waist down.

“Time to fill you up for good.”

“Yes please, please Min, fuck me please, fill me up.”

“Such a cum and cock slut,” he finally thrusted into your swollen cum dripping cunt, his movements fast as his free hand went to slap your tits as he used the one on your waist for balance. “Fuck you take me so good, such a good whore with such a nice pussy.”

“Yes, just for you, just for you and Hwa, fuck-fuck- FUCK!”

You cried as you sensed fingers playing with your clit and you knew it was Hwa as Minho’s hand had not left your waist and were still playing with your tits.

“Just like that, cum for me, I know you can do it again, cum on my fucking cock you filthy little whore.”

His movements became sloppy, and you knew he wouldn’t last long and, the way they were both working you up, you knew you wouldn’t either. Your toes curled as Minho’s fingers twisted your nipple while Hwa’s pinched your clit and you cried out loud as you felt Minho thrust you one last time before collapsing on top of you, barely able to hold his own body weight, although you couldn’t complain as it has kind of comforting after everything.

Your eyes were shut, you could hear movement around the room, Minho’s body lifting it up just enough to look at your face. His free hand was quick to take your hair away from your face, both breathings were heavy, neither could hold a small chuckle at the situation you were in.

“You okay?” You nodded and he smiled leaving a small kiss on your lips before pulling it out, receiving a complain from you. “I’m sorry pretty, were we too hard on you?”

He laid on your side, his fingers feather like against your skin, lingering a little longer on the more visible marks bringing a smile to your lips.

“I’m okay.”

“I’ll be gentle, promise,” Seonghwa’s voice was concerned, they both were as they realized the state you were in. “We were too rough with you, pretty, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” you said quickly using your elbows to lift your upper body, hissing as you felt the cloth Seonghwa was using to clean you up against your sored lower body, making him be even more careful, “I had fun, you guys don’t need to be sorry for anything.”

“Well, you did beg us a few times,” Minho chuckled and you rolled your eyes noticing how he started to move his body upwards, Seonghwa handing him the cloth before coming up on your other side of the bed, “but we should have been less… eager with you.”

“That’s a word I could use,” you laughed as you felt Seonghwa touch your arms, indicating for you to move up with them. “I didn’t wanna be the one to ask, but -”

“This is something we’ve been talking for a while,” Seonghwa cut you off as your back found the wall, both boys eyes on you and you suddenly felt aware of yourself, which didn’t go unnoticed by them as Seonghwa continued talking and Minho pulled some of the covers up on your body, “we can’t deny we are attracted to you, we also know you are to us, we don’t mind sharing you if you take us.”

You stopped for a moment observing both of them, searching for any type of bad reaction to the idea of you being shared by them in any way.

“So, what does that makes us?”

“Whatever you want it to be, pretty,” Minho’s hand found yours playing lightly with them, intertwining your fingers as Seonghwa’s went to your face and neck, taking in your features. “So, will you take us?”

Your only answer was kissing them. Minho first, Seonghwa second. It was a different kiss this time, it wasn’t rushed, it was light, careful, tender. Both kept observing you, expecting anything, searching for any type of rejection just how you were looking for it a while ago.

“Do you guys mind if we sleep for now?”

You sigh and they chuckled laying beside you. Minho was quick to turn on his back as you wrapped your legs around his, resting your head on his shoulder, your hand quickly found Seonghwa, pulling him close as you made him hug you by the waist. It felt right, whatever you three were to become.

Sleep found you fast as Minho’s left hand made small circles on your knee around his hip and Seonghwa caressed your hand and left small kisses on the back of your neck and shoulders. A smile plastered on your face.

general masterlist here ♡

here's the link for the permanent taglist ♡ !

network: @cultofdionysusnet ♡

DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, PLAGIARISE OR REPURPOSE.

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frostbitebakery · 10 months

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A Disturbed State Of The Natural Environment, Gods-Fucking-Dammit

A Pada-Wan Story

for @lttrsfrmlnrrgby

“Obi— Commander Kenobi-“

“You can call me Obi-Wan, Cody,” the kid huffs. “Neither you nor I will suddenly combust into a ball of fire if you do.”

You don’t know that, Cody thinks, not liking how his voice sounds in his mind.

Four days since the incident - or, “The Incident,” how Boil and Waxer like to say in unison with the bucket lights under their chins -, two since the 104th of all Battalions received their signal and towed the 212th fleet to the nearest station within the Republic that would allow them to overhaul the ships’ electronics.

It has been exactly two point five hours since Wolffe stopped wheezing at Cody over comms. Nearly as much time as the kid had vanished from under Cody’s paranoid nose.

“Councilor Kenobi is safe and sound,” General Koon had assured him while Wolffe stood at perfect parade rest a step behind, shriek-laughing his armor off.

The kid sighs. “You have come here for a reason?” he asks, stubborn and prim. “Or is Wooley babysitting me not enough?” He points a thumb over his shoulder to Wooley popping up several yards away, waving.

“If you haven’t noticed Hook, Line, and Sinker also keeping an eye on you, my trepidations are justified.”

The kid rolls his eyes, gesturing to three empty looking spots in the distance. “I am well aware Master Koon is in league with you.”

Cody will not explain safety precautions again. He’s saving that for when the kid really sets out to stomp on any and all walls Cody had to hastily and thoroughly built when his General, his partner, suddenly turned into a child at the worst possible development stage for Cody’s sanity.

The kid studies him while Cody is trying to come up with a legitimate reason for looking for him. Direct admittance to personal concern would backfire on Cody in multiple, entertaining ways, and he frankly doesn’t want to deal with that. From the kid being smug that Cody cares about him very much so keeping his distance must mean something more. To accusations of not trusting Obi-Wan (which, correct, Cody doesn’t know him after all), seeing him as a kid (also true) when he’s sixteen and basically a stone’s throw away from becoming a geezer.

Sixteen. Cody shudders. He remembers very well that half year when he was that developmental age. He shudders again. Gods, the mood swings alone.

“I am reasonably paranoid about your welfare,” he says at last. Wooden which makes him cringe but he’s never lied to Obi-Wan and he’s not starting now.

The kid stares at him for a while. One corner of his mouth quirks up with a shrug and a shuttered look in his eyes Cody desperately wants to make better. “It’s different when they really are out to get you, isn’t it.” The Council had explained how precarious his older self’s safety was at the best of times. Cody had only seen the aftermath and the accompanying ranting about life choices with the occasional visibly happy understanding that Obi-Wan could, actually, grow a non-patchy beard when he’s got a few more years on him.

“May I sit with you?” Cody asks. Shoveling his own metaphorical grave is so much easier with mixed signals after all. But he misses the older Obi-Wan. It’s not fair of him but he needs this.

The expected blush blooms on freckled cheeks. “Yes, of course!” is the eager reply, followed by more blushing.

It’s endearingly cute and Cody would like to chew on his bucket now.

The kid scoots over, wide eyed and expectant.

Gingerly, Cody lowers himself, ignoring the armor digging into his ass and thighs. And lets the silence stretch.

This, really, is what he came here for. A self-indulgent little break to catch his breath. The High General of a Systems Army is compromised and that fact has to remain eyes only to an exclusive handful of people. Only the Jedi Council knows out of obvious necessity. So it’s up to Cody to keep everything else running, keeping the admiralty in the dark because even teenaged Obi-Wan had said he’s got a bad feeling if they were to tell the brass. So they haven’t.

Usually, when flimsiwork and war horrors keep stacking up and expand into an avalanche, Obi-Wan and Cody sit together in silence, sharing a precious cup of real tea, being together and lending support and strength they can’t find for themselves but can always, always find for each other.

Selfishly he wants that strength from Obi-Wan now, the warmth of his body nearby. He’s already breathing easier.

The kid is looking at him curiously, but Cody chooses not to say anything. Instead he turns forward once more, watching the busy night markets of the station and the stars behind it. After a moment the kid does the same.

Shoulders slowly relax and the silence becomes comfortable.

#obi wan kenobi #commander cody #codywan #star wars #star wars fanart #frostbitebakery art #padawan obi wan #what are you going to do when Jedi robes are too big #you go to a storage closet and cry #poor cody #ahhh it’s been so long since I promised to draw this!#de aged!obi wan

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genericpuff · 10 months

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All That Glitters is Not Feminism - An Analysis of LO's Brand of "Feminism" and What Remains of its Fanbase (The Twist)

Alright y'all, I've been waiting a hot minute to talk about this because I wanted to see how it fully panned out before saying anything about it. And it's not even specifically about LO, but I do think it's very adjacent to it in a way that I'm sure you'll be shocked to hear. Much of it speaks to how we prop up white writers even at the expense of POC.

This is 'the twist' attached to my first post that I made just a couple hours ago that concerns an entirely other topic but I feel ties into this subject very well.

If you haven't heard, there's this author who recently fucked around in the Del Rey publishing scene.

Her name is Cait Corrain.

In the original tweet calling this person out, names were not dropped, but it was made very clear that what Cait did was unacceptable behavior.

You can read the entire thread that started it all from Xiran here:

There's also a GREAT recap thread from one of the affected authors, Bethany Baptiste:

I want to make it clear that Cait Corrain isn't just a debut author.

Cait Corrain is - or now, was (foreshadowing is a literary device that-) - a debut author who had an agent, a publishing deal with Del Rey (an imprint of Random House which is a MAJOR publisher) and even an upcoming Illumicrate deal - meaning, her book was going to be packaged in a monthly loot crate subscription shipped directly to people's doors, quite possibly one of the best marketing deals a debut author could ever get, usually unheard of in this industry. All the pre-reviews were strong and positive.

Cait's book was literally set up for success. All she had to do was sit back, relax, and watch the fruits of her labors roll in. She had written the book. It was ready for release. The hard part was technically over.

But I guess the racism brainrot got to her because as it turns out, since April - for EIGHT MONTHS - she's been making alternate accounts on GoodReads to review bomb the indie and debut works of her friends and peers, most of whom were POC and did not have the same opportunities set up for them as she did. There are loads of receipts to back this up that you can find in those above threads ^^^

To say that this is appalling is an understatement. This was an intentional and deliberate act of racism by a white queer writer who claimed to be "jealous" - of what, I can't imagine - so much so that she deliberately sabotaged her peers, people who had supported her and her book.

And then when she got caught? She doubled down on it and claimed it was a "friend", also an alternate account she made up.

The exchange between her and this made-up person is actually the funniest shit out of this entire thing, it's so poorly written and as soon as people noticed the time stamps were out of order, that was when it truly cemented her newfound clown status.

"oooooh he's standing right behind me, isn't he?" energy right here LMAO

yes keep expositing cait, that's really selling the "this is a genuine conversation that really happened with a real person" bit 🤡

Anyways, it became abundantly clear that Cait was just going to continue to dig her heels in over something she caused.

This has been a hot topic in the UnpopularLO Discord, not just because of how crazy of a situation it is that we had to talk about it - and we have people within the community who work in the literature and media sector - but because we noticed one very telling thing in the list of series that she had review bombed in her very own personal act of wrath.

You see, Cait made one fundamental mistake that led to her undoing - she didn't just review bomb the works of her peers, she positively reviewed her own book and others.

What's her book about though?

It's an Ariadne x Dionysus retelling set in space.

It's literally another "modern retelling" of Greek myth.

And wouldn't you know it, guess who else created a modern retelling of Greek myth that she included in her positive review raiding while she was sabotaging the work of her actual peers?

Now, I think it goes without saying that what I'm about to say should be taken with MOUNTAINS of salt, I'm sure a lot of you are reading the headline and going, "Ugh, really? You're gonna make this about LO? Could you give it a rest already???"

I need you to understand, with the current state of Rachel's fanbase and 'modern' Greek myth literature as a whole, at this point Lore Olympus - and the works that are literally inspired by it such as A Touch of Darkness - has basically become the shopping cart litmus test of basic decency. It's like when someone says they like Harry Potter - you can't take it automatically at good faith anymore, because there isn't a whole lot separating someone who simply liked Harry Potter as a kid and still rewatches the movies from time to time from someone who fully supports the politics and agenda of J.K. Rowling. No, not everyone who still watches the movies or reads the books fondly is a TERF by default, but it's justifiably a reason for suspicion when the consequences are often too dire to risk.

There's this thing that's been happening in the LO fanbase that I frankly saw coming, but has really recently started to hit its peak. It's what I call the "Kanye Effect", where the comic has become so absurd and backwards in its misogyny and white feminism that the only people who seem to be left supporting LO are the people who are legitimate white feminists and misogynists - because all the normal level-headed people fell off the comic ages ago (or transitioned into the critical side of the community).

I mentioned it in my last post, but it bears repeating - Rachel's fanbase has literally been shipping Hera, a victim of abuse, with her abuser, Kronos. I'm really hoping a lot of them realize how fucked up that is now that Hera herself has called it what it is - abuse - within the comic, but I also can't count on the LO fanbase picking up on that or even noticing it with how quickly people swipe through it each week, it's very apparent at this point that most of LO's readers don't know how to chew their food and don't pay attention when Persephone and Hades aren't onscreen.

But I'm digressing. Or am I? We're talking about Crown of Starlight after all. The debut Dionysus x Ariadne sci-fi/fantasy romance that was quite literally advertised using Lore Olympus as its baseline-

This. This is what the ongoing cultural erasure and white feminist uwu-fication of Greek myth is doing to the literary zeitgeist surrounding Greek myth as a whole. This is why we criticize Lore Olympus and works like it that are created by disingenuous people who only seek to use the assets of Greek myth material as a way to shoot themselves up into fame and stardom. This is why we demand better standards in the literature and webcomic industry, so that people like Rachel and Cait can't use their privileges to quite literally erase the source material that they used to make themselves famous in the first place.

If anything, Cait's actions didn't just affect the people she negatively review bombed, or the people she was affiliated with, but also the people she positively reviewed. While I don't support what Rachel creates, she wasn't the only one who Cait went out of her way to review positively from her alt accounts, there were many others as evident in the Google Doc - but all this really does is tarnish the legitimacy of these books and their ratings by artificially jacking up their numbers that are advertised to others.

Making Greek myth fanfiction or fun creative retellings was never the problem, but it's now being sabotaged alongside so many other genres and mediums by toxic white individuals who can't even keep themselves from committing hate crimes, let alone create something purely for entertainment that's transparent in its illegitimacy, lest it destroy the illusion that these people are qualified to speak over those whose voices are being stifled, often by these very same people. Many of these writers get caught and are still allowed to continue what they're doing - that was certainly what we feared with Cait.

Until today.

It was revealed today that Cait's book will no longer be featured in the Illumicrate May 2024 box.

Del Rey has dropped Crown of Starlight from their publishing schedule.

Daphne Press will be hopefully following suit.

And, most telling of all, Cait's own agent has severed ties with her.

For anyone not familiar with the inner workings of the publishing industry, Cait has essentially been blacklisted. Without an agent or a publishing house, she'll have to entirely rely on her own resources through self-publishing. Unless she manages to sneak her way back in under an alias (which I wouldn't put it past her to try) she no longer has access to the mainstream publishing industry that was already guaranteed for her before she let her 'jealousy' get the better of her.

Her career was already made for her. She had a red carpet laid out for her debut. Her book was getting good pre-reviews and she had quite literally nothing keeping her from her success. The best thing she could have done was nothing. Somewhere in her head, she made up a threat that didn't exist, and sealed her fate in acting on it, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I think in these situations such as with Cait Corrain, Rachel Smythe, and - also recently and relevant - James Somerton, we need to become increasingly aware of how white voices are still overpowering POC voices, not just in their actions, but in the opportunities they're given over others which they then use to further stifle the voices of those they feel "threatened" by or feel entitled to speak over. While neither James nor Rachel have used sock puppet accounts to "take out the competition" (at least as far as we know lmao) James did quite literally steal the words and voices of queer writers who were deserving of their time in the spotlight, and Rachel's work is being quoted as "rewriting Greek myth" as if its blatant gentrification and appropriation should be marketed as some sort of positive.

It's all too common for these deeply-rooted prejudices to rear their ugly heads and for the people who carry them to act out in this way while justifying it as "jealousy" or "a mistake". This isn't jealousy. This isn't a mistake. This isn't someone "starting drama". This is genuine, targeted hate, with the intention of snuffing out the voices of others who should be empowered, not silenced.

All that time and effort, and for what? Racism and petty jealousy? It just goes to show, it doesn't matter how many opportunities you're given, how high up on the ladder you already are - it won't fix the deeply-rooted insecurity and racial pettiness that spurs people on to do such horrible things.

I've spent enough of my time and words today talking about Cait, and James, and Rachel. So to end this off, I want to join in with all the others who have highlighted the books that were review-bombed by Cait, and help in uplifting them so they can have successful debuts. I'll be pre-ordering a few of them, so I'll be happy to make dedicated posts for them in the future after they release. Please consider purchasing them for yourself if you want some new reading material <3

The Poisons We Drink by Bethany Baptiste:

So Let Them Burn by Kamilah Cole:

To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods by Molly X Chang:

Mistress of Lies by K.M. Enright

Voyage of the Damned by Frances White:

(I'm sure there are plenty others so if I missed any here, please let me know so I can add them here and check out their books!)

If there's any silver lining to this, I hope that it makes people aware of the media they consume and who it's being created by. I hope it makes people more willing to seek out the books that aren't getting the same opportunities as Cait Corrain and Rachel Smythe. I hope it's a wake-up call to the industry that matters like this need to be taken seriously and that POC writers are still being silenced under their own noses. And most of all, I hope it's a reminder that we shouldn't even need at this point that this behavior is not okay, no matter what level a person climbs to - that just because someone is part of one minority doesn't mean they're not capable of sabotaging another. It sucks that that has to be said, it sucks that despite these groups being so intersectional there are still people within them who submit to their deeply-rooted insecurities and find ways to feel threatened that they use to justify hateful behavior.

Having a platform is a privilege. It should never be weaponized against your own peers or those who you simply feel "threatened" by for no reason beyond your own imposter syndrome or doubts or internal struggles. Because as much as you may feel like you've earned where you are, that never gives you the right to weaponize your opportunities against others who were never given those same opportunities in the first place. "Feminism" is not using your power to crush "other women". "Progressiveness" is not exclusive to the progress that only benefits you.

I wish only the best to those who were affected by the actions of Cait Corrain. You deserve to be heard and seen and appreciated for the work you do and the abuse you've had to tolerate. I look forward to your debuts in 2024 <3

#cait corrain #support POC writers #crown of starlight #the poisons we drink #so let them burn #the voyage of the damned #mistress of lies #say isn't it funny how all the debut books cait tried to sabotage accurately describe her and her actions LOL #that's what we call irony #debut authors 2024 #booktok #webtoon critical #lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus

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sweetlady555 · 2 months

Text

My Personal Solar Return Observations Pt I

I just got into astrology more and I’ve been suupeerrr into solar return observations lately and this is what I have observed from my own chart! My birthday was 2 months ago and the solar return is SOLAR RETURNING .

Moon in 8h in Aquarius SR - TONS of family secrets coming to the surface. Almost concerning? . Im finding out soo much stuff about my parents . My home environment is also changing a lot, my dad used to be home a lot and now my dad has like completely abandoned me lmaooo . such a strange uranus energy since aquarius is ruled by uranus . Ive been feeling more independent lately and sometimes I dissociate and pretend im living in LA in my own studio alone and away from my unstable family 😍….. I have my chart ruler in here too haha (pray for me) 😊 so this year is definitely going to be transforming AF . Im sensing it everything feels too intense lately 👁️ ..

Cancer Rising SR - I’ve been dealing with a lot of family stuff over the years (toxic relationships that r still ongoing lmaoaoa) and im noticing that instead of digging myself deeper or being depressed, i’ve been nurturing myself more and turning my space into a cozy sanctuary and not into some bed rotting mess😹. Ive been improving my current living situation compared to the past so theres definitely nurturing myself more , saying affirmations in the mirror , working on my self care , getting offered help from my step-family.

Sun in 12H in Cancer SR - I got into astrology a lot of spiritual stuff . Also communicating with my spirit guides more often etc .. I definitely do feel more connected to my spirit guides now I feel im being guided and protected a lot this year . everything feels like its just meant to happen and i mean that in the best way . Getting vivid dreams, ive been writing them down more a lot lately and they’ve been giving me insights on my subconscious and even slight deja vu? I remember I dreamt of me and my dad in my aunts car and 2 days later she had called me and gotten upset because my dad took her car and hadnt brought it back after she let him borrow it for a few hours. Even though my sleep schedule is so bad i love dreaming more now because the universe always gifts me with something meaningful and beautiful in my dreams🙏. Also I been listening to music like A Looottttt more lately EVEN WHEN IM ASLEEP😭 im like oohhh whos playing this banger and i wake up and its just music thats been on shuffle for the past 9 hours 💀

Venus 12H in Cancer 10° SR - finding out what i want in relationships , although i do feel like its becoming hard to connect with others in that way ..? does that make sense ? ive been doing lots of self love affirmations that my dreams consist of love and harmonious energies 😹sometimes ill think about love and a boyfriend and really want it but the next day ill be like wow i love myself so much i really cannot see myself with anyone😇.. lots of creative solitude , being more open to recieve love from my family members AFTER REFUSING multiple times ( it makes me icky sometimes still ) learning compassion and forgiveness for others , im a scorpio moon in my natal so ive held grudges since 6th grade i never cared 😭😭😩.. but this venus in 12h is like reversing the effect… 👁️💧

Venus Conjuct Asc in Cancer SR - GLOW UP PLACEMENT 🙏 i was sexy before but its like my sexiness increased by like 10x . People are noticing it too!! i got told “bros evolving” on one of my posts 😭😭 I also feel like im finding my own personal style aswell! . I also see my body changing (in a good way)

Sun conjuct Asc in Cancer SR - confidence on 1000!!! feeling self assured , nobody can really tell me anything bad about me TO ME and think ILL believe it cuz i wont!! i know who i am thankqqq😛

Mercury 1h in Cancer SR - i feel like this placement helped add onto me becoming so self assured in myself and figuring out who i truly am . Ive been studying and researching about myself a lootttt too !! Ive been getting a lot of gut feelings and just proceeding with them and usually i wont and ill just go with logic but idgaf anymore because usually these gut feelings usually lead to something so worth the outcome whether it may look good or bad!

Mars 11h in Taurus 12° SR - I have lots of amazing goals and things im looking forward to for this year!! I feel so eager to just GO FOR IT but taurus is a slow and steady sign so thats just how i been moving lately .. in silence too cuz there be haters all around 🤐

Pluto 7h in Aquarius 1° SR - ive been unfriending a lot of people to make new friendships idk if thats a bad thing but all the past people i feel are secretly plotting against me… most likely that 1° because i heard that could represent enemies? take that with a grain of salt but anyway ive been more clearer about what i want in friendships aswell which is goal oriented people who just want to get rich and make something for themselves!!! Im tired of the self limiting beliefs and the envy!!!

Saturn 9h in Pisces 19° SR - I start my senior year this month and I plan on graduating early , saturn rules discipline and structure but also setbacks . i feel like this school year although i have that vision i feel like im gonna have to put a lot of work this year lmao i hate school so much i was supposed to go to summer school but i ended up not going to get my mind right before the school year started which has really helped tho imo . i wanted to drop out but at the same time my pride is too high and i feel like this is a great opportunity to build discipline, time management and responsibility for the goals that ill have after i graduate. ive already been setting the milestones and all which is the saturn and pisces influence comin thru 🙏

Neptune 9h in Pisces 29° SR - the 29° usually the “fame indicator degree” can also represent a start to completion/ending of something , since i would be focused on graduating early for my senior year i could see this as me graduating early and completing that academic journey and preparing and embracing a new journey . i feel like this would most likely be spiritual because i caaannooottt focus on school and astrology and spirituality all at the same time because 9 times out of 10 my focus is on astrology and spirituality i needa get my priorities straight😭😩😹..

Just wanted to note this but while reading your SR chart its important to look at your South Node aswell because it can show you what lessons and patterns you need to review / past influences & comfort zones . 1h nn = 7h sn , 2h nn = 8h sn , 3h nn = 9h sn , 4h nn = 10h sn , 5h nn = 11h sn , and so on

North Node 10h in Aries&South Node 4h in Libra - The SN 4h Libra and NN 10H Aries could show that I have to balance my growth and comfort and moving towards new opportunities. With South Node in the 4H in Libra, I may find myself relying on familiar comforts from my past . The south node here might show that I might fall back into old family dynamics . my step family is offering for me to move in with them to help me get back up on my feet and this is such a good opportunity but they did this before though last year and I ended up moving back with my neglectful dad and I just fell depressedddddd . ill prolly release my old patterns where I would be moving away from family support because last year my mom offered to help me and support me and i ended up being manipulated and i fell depressed again then went to my step dad for help so i can get ahead and i went back with my dad and got even more depressed lmaoo but ill see how this ends up playing out. With the north node in the 10h in aries , i’ve been really focused on building my own unique self image instead of just catering to what others expected of me . Ill be looking forward to the goals I have planned out while actively working on them . With the influence of Aries too, bold and courageous, I’d most likely be taking risks to pursue my goals and stepping out my comfort zone. Probably by being SO FED UP with my controlling dad that I just take that leap 💯

this is my first observation post i was gonna go to sleep but i was dedicated to finish this tonight, i hope this was insightful to many of you and may this year bring all of us sweet blessings ⭐️

#solar return chart #solar return #solar return observations #astrology community #astro observations #astro notes #astro community #moon 8h #solar return observation #astrology lunar return #saturn 9h

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modelbus · 3 months

Note

Price, Soulmate (shared pain), “sorry, my love…”

Thank you so much! Love your writing! ❤️🫶

A PRICE REQUEST!! I decided to keep this happy because god knows this fandom needs it

Pairing: John Price x Fem!Reader (I had to make him say missus… ignore it and it’s Gn!Reader)

Soulmate AU - Sorry My Love

You truly loved your husband. A military man, through and through, but you didn’t mind. His missions were difficult, but he always came back to you. Just like he always promised.

Although sometimes, you wondered what you got yourself into by marrying him. Because although absolutely adoring him, his team was a little interesting.

When you met John Price, he had warned you in low tones that he was a package deal. You get him, then you have to put up with his team. Soap, who’s roped you into plenty of pranks. Gaz, who makes the best damn burgers you’ve ever had. And Ghost, who had quietly pulled you aside when you first met John and threatened to ruin your life if you hurt John.

They were loyal men. Close-knit. And just by being with John, you found yourself stuffed in with them.

“I think you get him something flashy for his gun.” Soap tells you. You’re relaxed in an outdoor chair next to him, watching John and Gaz cook burgers for the 141 cookout.

“Like what?” You ask. You’re civilian — sure you’ve seen your husband mess with his gun, but that doesn’t mean you know the first thing about them.

“Dunno.” He shrugs, and you silently sigh. You blame the Scottish for creating him.

“No cheese, right love?” John calls over to you, glancing back. You can’t help but smile at him, the sight of your husband. Even though he’s wearing the hat that’s practically glued to his head, you still adore him.

“Yeah!” Soap shouts back at him.

“Is your name love?” John turns, crossing his arms.

“It can be.” You watch as Soap wiggles his shoulders suggestive, and John just groans and turns back to the burgers.

He already knows you don’t want any cheese, anyway. You never do. Meanwhile, he loves it.

“One day your soulmate is going to be jealous of your flirting ass.” You inform Soap.

To your knowledge, he hasn’t found his soulmate yet. Nobody in the 141 except John has. Sharing pain is something difficult to figure out; you only figured it out because you had accidentally splashed hot coffee all over him. When you felt the burning sensation on your chest that he was also feeling, it was fairly obvious.

Most people went their whole lives without meeting their soulmate. Sometimes, people who did meet their soulmate were better off as friends, or maybe they were siblings. You’re damn lucky that your soulmate is also the love of your fucking life.

“Maybe my soulmate’s a flirt too.” Soap volleys back.

“Or maybe they’re like Ghost, and are a rock.”

“I’m a rock?” Ghost asks, and you jolt up. When the fuck did he even get behind you? Damn military men. People that large should never be able to move that quietly.

“I— no!” You exclaim, trying to dig your way out of the hole you’re in. “You just don’t flirt as much as Soap, I mean.”

He blinks at you from behind his mask. John told you once that he always keeps it on, gives him a sense of safety. You didn’t question it. Ghost liked John, looked out for him, so he was perfectly alright in your books.

“Don’t think anyone flirts as much as Soap.” He says gruffly, taking your vacant chair.

Well, that’s true. You nod in agreement, and then hightail it over to your husband.

“Hey.” You greet him, looping your arm with his as he flips a burger. “Food’s looking good.”

John glances over his shoulder at Ghost in your seat, then down at you. “Ghost take your seat? I’ll make him move, lovie, he shouldn’t—“

“He didn’t take my seat.” You cut him off, laughing. “Wanted to come see my husband anyway.”

He lights up, grinning. “Right choice.”

John leans down, pressing his lips to yours. No matter how many times you kiss, you always want more. Need more, really.

A burning pain shoots through the tip of your pointer finger, and both you and John jerk back with pained noises. Looking down at your finger, there’s no mark. Your idiot husband, on the other hand…

“Shit.” He hisses, looking down at the red mark on his finger. “Accidentally hit the grill. Sorry, my love.”

Your finger is still aching, which means his is too. And yet, he still made it a priority to apologize for causing you pain.

“I’ll grab the mustard.” You say, giving him another quick kiss. “Don’t touch it again!”

Turning away, you move for the bottle on the nearest table. You uncap it, squeezing a little bit onto his finger. It’s meant to help with burns; maybe a myth, but worth a shot.

“You’re the best.” John murmurs, squinting at his finger. “I can already feel it healing.”

You snort. “I can feel it hurting too, you dumbass. Let Gaz do the rest of the cooking.”

He steps back, making eye contact with Gaz and nodding to the grill before looking back at you. “Anything for the missus.”

#john price x reader #john price cod #john price call of duty #captain john price #john price #cod #captain price #call of duty #captain johnathan price #captain price x reader

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all-purpose-dish-soap · 18 days

Text

50 / 820 words / for @keegansshark who converted me to the cult of Hesh <3

...

"Anyone sitting here?"

"Uh, no. Knock yourself out."

You sit down across from Hesh. The mess hall isn’t crowded yet. You have plenty of space. "So. About yesterday."

"Remind me,” he says. “It's been a long week."

You roll an orange in your palms. "I was just wondering. Do you want to?"

"Want to what?"

You stare at him, brows raised, curving your thumbnail into the rind until it dawns on him.

"Oh. That."

You've never seen him nervous, and most people wouldn't peg him as nervous right now. You can see it, though.

"I think so. Yeah. I mean, yeah." Hesh looks down at his tray. "I want to."

You begin peeling the skin off in one long strip. "Haven't had time?"

"I haven't, no. I've... you know... been focused on other things." Hesh takes a long swallow of water. “Military stuff."

"Dad stuff."

"Yeah. Dad stuff."

"You looking to change that?"

"Eventually."

"Hm." You dig your nail into a stubborn bit of orange skin. "But not yet?"

Hesh falters. His eyes flicker down to your hands. "The issue isn’t when I want to. It’s how.”

“Ah.”

“I've never actually dated. Or had a girlfriend. I don't know where to start."

"If you want to give it a shot, I can help you out."

Hesh blinks like he's not sure you meant what you just said. "You? Help me out with women?"

You snort. "Not with women. With sex."

Hesh's brow furrows. "What?"

"You said you’re interested in sex. I'll have sex with you if you want."

For several seconds, Hesh doesn't respond. Then he asks, "Why?"

You shrug and tilt your gaze to the side, glancing at the other soldiers in the cafeteria. They don't pay your conversation much attention. "Because this is No Man's Land. If you're waiting for a golden opportunity, you'll probably die before it comes along."

"No, I mean-- why not one of the other guys in our unit?"

"Pretty sure you could get one of them to do it for you if you prefer that. Keegan once told me about this one time when he--"

"No. No, I mean," Hesh says hastily, "why me? Why are you offering me, uh... what you're offering me?"

You peer at him. He doesn't look nervous, but the tips of his ears turn a darker shade of pink. You lean back and bite an orange slice in half. "Because you've never done it."

"Right. But, I mean, that's not a reason." Hesh pauses, searching for the right words. "You can't possibly be interested in me."

"We're friends, aren't we?"

Hesh glances away again. Friends is strong language for it. "Still."

"You want to know what's in it for me," you guess.

"Yes. I do." Hesh crosses his arms, waiting for you to speak. You pop an orange slice in your mouth and chew slowly. Then you peel away another two slices and begin stripping them of their stringy pulp. "Yeah, what is in it for you?"

"I mean, I’m no golden opportunity, but I’d feel sad if you died tomorrow never having known the touch of another person or whatever. Life sucks out here. We have to take small pleasures where we can get them." You pull a piece of rind out of your teeth and flick it into the pile of orange skins. "Something like that."

"So, out of pity."

At his deadpan look, a smirk spreads across your face. "If that's what you wanna call it. I don't make this offer to everyone, if that's what you're asking. It's Merrick's job to fuck the newbies, not mine."

Hesh's eyebrows shoot up.

"I'm kidding."

“Uh huh.” He's not sure how to feel. It's almost a relief that it's not about him, personally. It's not about him at all. Just No Man's Land. "Aren't there rules about that? Fraternizing, or... or whatever."

You tilt your head at him. It's a little funny to see him flustered. He has the whole act down, usually—refined, quiet, confident strength. Almost a perfect soldier. Lab-grown for the Ghosts.

“It's fine, Hesh, really. No big deal either way. You know where my bunk is if you change your mind.” You scoop orange peel scraps off the table. “You've got a night if you want it."

"Wait," Hesh says as you rise. "It's not that, it’s…”

As you walk away, Hesh barely quashes the sudden urge to stand up, back straight, like the goddamn president is leaving the mess hall. He's not even sure what he wants to say. There’s a strange desperation in his gut to keep the conversation from ending yet.

Instead, he watches you go and his stomach flips sideways.

You dump your orange peel into the compost and head for your bunk. Merrick sits at the fringe of the cafeteria. He looks at you, then at Hesh, and his brow creases in confusion. You shake your head as if to say nah, don't ask.

...

more call of duty: ghosts / masterlist tag

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buddiebeginz · 4 months

Text

Okay everyone listen to me Tim posting a B/T video (if he even did because his FB is private and people are saying he posted it but took it down) does not mean he’s saying Buddie is a no go and T*mmy is Buck’s endgame.

First of all let’s remember that Tim wanted to do Buck’s bi storyline years ago particularly back in season 4 and this was likely going to lead to Buddie (look at how the shooting arc was handled).

Second so much of this season has been geared towards Buddie. We had a lot of joint interviews with Ryan and Oliver (more than ever before). We’ve had Buddie talked about in pretty much every interview Oliver and Ryan have done both together and separately this season. This is not something that happened (to this extent) previously, it’s clear Fox did not really want them talking about Buddie. Also remember that if Buddie wasn’t happening and if Tim and ABC didn’t want them talking about Buddie they wouldn’t be allowing these kinds of questions over and over again. They would answer the Buddie question once or twice and that would be the end of it. Everyone knows how much people ship Buddie especially Tim. I'm positive he knows it would be really stupid to keep bringing it up if he wanted the subject to die down.

More importantly let’s look at how this season has gone we’ve had Buck and Eddie together more than ever. Tim even explicitly stated he was trying to put Buddie scenes in almost every episode. Look at how he answered that person about the karaoke scene. Tim basically said he was a Buddie shipper too.

Also think about this Tim knew he was going to have Buck come out and naturally it stands to reason that when it happened people were going to speculate more than ever about Buddie. If Tim has no intention of making Buddie happen and if his long term goal has been to put Buck with T*mmy as Buck's forever love interest (Like Bathena and Madney) wouldn't he have handled this season differently?

I'm not saying Buck and Eddie wouldn't have scenes together if the plan is never for them to be a couple, obviously not they're best friends but I do think Tim would have been extra careful with this being the first season Buck is out as as a bi character. Yet like I said we've had Buddie together more than ever. We've had them talking about sexual tension, dressing in couples costumes (when the actual pair that is dating didn't), singing karaoke together (even if most of it got cut), Buck talking about Eddie's cologne, Buck being a parental figure to Chris, Buck coming out to Eddie in a private quiet scene (when he only had two coming out talks this season), a buddie hug when we haven't had one for years, Buck talking about how he wished he could help Eddie when Eddie was talking about being sexually frustrated.

Most importantly though and what really seals the deal for me on why I think Buddie is happening is that Buck's entire bi awakening episode was focused very heavily on Eddie. Buck was NOT jealous that Eddie was getting to spend time with T*mmy in that episode (i.e. jealous because he wanted to spend time with T*mmy) he was jealous because Eddie was spending so much time and sharing parts of himself with someone else. He was jealous of T*mmy getting to spend time with Eddie and felt like he was being replaced. He thought him and Eddie had something special but then he sees the connection Eddie so easily formed with T*mmy and it hurt him.

We just haven't (as of yet) seen Buck really be willing to dig deeper to understand what he was truly feeling during all of that. How it was all about Eddie and not T*mmy. At this point all Buck knows is that T*mmy kissed him and Buck realized oh I like guys and he's reveling in the newness of all of that. At some point though he's going to realize none of this was ever about T*mmy and that even the main things drawing him to T*mmy were because of his similarities to Eddie. (I wrote a whole post about this episode btw)

But back to my point and that's why would Tim make a whole episode about how Buck obviously has feelings for Eddie and make it in the same episode where the audience (especially the general audience) realizes that Buck isn't straight? Why do that if Buddie isn't in the plans? If Tim's goal is B/T he still could have had something with Buck being jealous. What if T*mmy was hanging out with Chim and the rest of the 118 and he started being friends with all of them. They could have had it where Buck felt threatened kind of like he did in season 2 with Eddie but what it really was about was that Buck liked T*mmy and didn't know how to express that. What I'm saying is that Tim wasn't backed into a corner with this bi Buck storyline and T*mmy there were so many different ways he could have told it. He chose to tell it where it revolved very heavily around Eddie. Buck was even talking about Eddie right before and after he kissed T*mmy what exactly are we supposed to take away from that?

I know B/T stans like to say we just see what we want to see but decisions like having Eddie feature so heavily in Buck's coming out ep aren't made on a whim these are very deliberate especially when the powers that be know how much people ship these characters. Very specific choices have been made to tell a story with Buck and Eddie this season that is leading them towards the same goal and that's eventually together. If you're not seeing that it's because you don't want to.

There's also the fact that if B/T is the ship we're supposed to be rooting for if it's the ship that's going to be as big to 911 as Bathena and Madney (at least according to B/T fans) why has there been so little focus on them? I know some people might say it's a shorter season and they already have so much to fit. Or that they're trying to go slow with B/T's story but here's the thing they rushed into having Buck come out to the audience in one episode and then rushed into having him come out to all the other characters a couple of episodes after that. If Tim wanted more focus on B/T there would be. They also wouldn't even have to do much with them. We've barely even seen them have an actual conversation and the few times we have most of it has been when there has been some kind of uncomfortableness or annoyance between them. Like when Buck was full of anxiety during the date (and then T*mmy made that closet joke) or when Buck was upset about T*mmy not dressing up and T*mmy seemed annoyed.

I don't know I've watched a ton of different shows and to me this doesn't feel like how you build a ship you want the audience to root for. And I'm not saying that you can't have two people at odds and then have them get together. I love a good enemies to lovers thing but that's not what this is. To me the show is trying to tell us that Buck and T*mmy have an attraction but they really aren't on the same wavelength in other areas. Plus the show is always having Buck either talking about Eddie or having Eddie show up. Like when Buck came out to Maddie and was more concerned about lying to Eddie than his date going bad. We had Maddie literally Telling Buck if he had something to tell Eddie he'd tell him in his own time. What am I supposed to think about a line like that? Or when you had Eddie there during the whole scene with B/T at the karaoke bar or how the scene immediately cut from the B/T hospital kiss to Eddie. Plus we haven't even had a mention of T*mmy since 7x06 and now we're going into the finale. You'd think that they would have at least had Buck mention T*mmy during that date night scene where Buck was watching Chris for Eddie but no instead we had Buck being rather flirty with Eddie talking about his cologne and throwing popcorn into his mouth.

Now let's look at this video. There’s a high probability Tim didn’t even watch it. It’s long and not good in my opinion (I saw it before today). B/T stans call us delusional but they’re yelling about how Tim must believe in this bs invisible string theory they came up with and because it’s mentioned in that video. But here’s what the cover looks like

And this is why I think Tim posted it (if he even did) because it’s not about what’s in the video it’s about the title.

Has 911 found Buck’s perfect match?

This is what Tim wants us thinking about going into the finale. Is T*mmy the perfect match for Buck? Some like to think so but we know there is someone better and Buck is going to realize that.

No matter what happens with Buck and T*mmy at the end of this season and even if they're still together going into season 8 I 100% don't believe that T*mmy is meant to be Buck's endgame. Buck is for all intents and purposes the shows main character. We were basically introduced to the show through him we've watched him have the most growth, tim is not going to give him some lackluster love story.

Most primetime shows have a couple that the audience can root for. A couple where the audience isn't sure if they're going to get together but everything happening with them makes you want to see it happen so it keeps the audience tuning in waiting for the day it finally does. 911 had that for a long time with Madney before they got together and then later when they broke up and got back together. But now that they and all the main couples are happily married and rather settled 911 has no main couple like that not one that will garner media and audience attention, except oh wait they do it's Buddie. If B/T were going to be the couple they were betting on we would have had at least one Oliver and Lou on screen interview by now talking about them and we haven't. We definitely would have had more press promoting the couple but we haven't. The focus like I said before is on Buddie. The focus in the episodes is towards Buddie, the focus in the media, it's all a bright neon flashing sign that says BUDDIE. Nothing is pointing towards B/T in actuality I think Buck and Taylor may have even had more press than B/T has gotten so do with that information what you will.

I know a lot of you will hear about Tim posting this and think that's it Buddie is dead in the water but it's just not true. We are closer than ever to Buddie happening I promise you. We just have to be patient and let the story play out. Please don't pay attention to all the negativity coming from that other ship in fandom. Block as much as you need to so you can keep your peace. The best thing you can do right now is to show your love for Buddie as much as possible. Make sure you're tweeting about Buddie, leaving comments about Buddie on 911's official accounts (on ig YT tiktok etc), making new posts and graphics about Buddie on tumblr. We need to continue to be a loud (respectful) presence online and to remind everyone that we won't give up on Buddie.

Sending love to all of you ❤️

And remember:

#buddie #911 buddie #buck x eddie #tim minear #911 abc #911!#long post

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disneyprincemuke · 11 months

Text

midnights, 7 * mv1

the news is out: three time world champion, max verstappen, and his girlfriend of 6 years have been broken up since the singapore weekend.

pairings: max verstappen x fem!reader

warnings: -

notes: wow i took thE longest break from this

(series masterlist)

(prev) // (next)

max isn’t typically the type to let panic settle in. at least, that’s what he likes to think. he likes to tell people he’s not bothered but outsiders are always quick to catch up with his suppressed emotions.

alas, his worst fears have come true. news has broken that you’ve been broken up for almost 2 months.

he has not been able to talk about it with daniel, so he can only imagine how things will break down in austin.

he hopes that it’s not actually that big of a deal. plenty of other drivers have gotten themselves in messier breakups — the post doesn’t seem to touch on any speculations about how yours had come about. he can only bank on the hope that journalists are empathetic enough not to bring you up.

but you’ve been very involved in his career and the cameras on the paddocks. they never missed the chance to have you speak into a mic or have a private conversation with you.

pictures snapped of you together are never posted, but would be directly sent to either of you to truly encompass the privacy of your relationship. the respect shared between you and everyone on the paddocks was treasured, which is probably why your presence had been notable after you abruptly disappeared.

he sinks into his couch, phone in hand as he stares at the pictures that sparked up speculations. it’s a low-quality picture of you leaving the red bull home, head down as your hair shied you away from the camera. the second picture is of him coming out of the building, hair dishevelled as he stood with his arms folded over his chest.

“what do i do?” max mumbles, his finger swiping over the screen again and again, staring at the two pictures. as if it would change the course of things if he did it enough. “do i talk to her?”

“i don’t know, man,” daniel sighs, his face in the far corner of max’s screen. “i mean, the best you can do is to wait it out, right?”

“rumours could spread,” charles mutters, looking away briefly with his eyes widened. “if i were you, i’d want to do some damage control. but that’s probably just me.”

max sits back, staring at the empty half of his hotel bed. your absence is always noted when he’s all alone and he's too awake for his own good, once having the luxury of your company and bright smile making him feel giddy.

the difference between this breakup and all of charles' is that there is no controversy in this one. as far as he's concerned, this is all speculation from photos that are now circulating the internet and your obvious absence on race weekends.

nobody can even really confirm if it's true unless you or max say something. for now, they're just rumours. right?

unless you've started speaking to people, and gossip platforms. but you wouldn't do any of that, or at least that's what he's telling himself. but from what he can dig out of the grave in his brain, there was nothing that happened between you that can be twisted.

but what does he know?

he can only keep praying to the fact that you'll keep it as private as you usually do.

his phone is buzzing endlessly, his other friends sending him texts as the news shocks them as much as the world. lando is asking him if he's holding up fine, martin is expressing how he feels for max, and his own mother asking him why he hadn't told her earlier.

only victoria's message will be getting an answer. after all, she's the first person that found out.

"should i talk to her?" max thinks out loud, maximising the facetime call to get a good look at his friends' reactions. "she never does well with things like this, what if people are bothering her?"

charles' picture is overtaken by alexandra's face, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. "you wanna talk to her?"

max shrugs. "i don't know. maybe?"

"would that be the best choice though?" daniel tilts his head. behind him, heidi is approaching cautiously with a small smile. "babe, what do you think?"

heidi shrugs as daniel's camera slowly turns to her. "my opinion is probably not - it's been two months. and judging by the comments that i read, i don't think there's much disrespect that has to be told off publicly."

alexandra nods as charles slowly comes back into the frame next to her. "it's up to you, max. as of right now, it doesn't seem that serious."

max sighs again, this time louder as he feels everything coming down on him. he drops his head back and stares at the ceiling. "i don't know, you guys," he sighs again loudly. "i just want to know if she's alright."

"maybe not now, mate," charles answers sympathetically, frowning at him through the camera.

"just wait it out. it could die down quicker than you think," daniel says hopefully.

max nods, now suddenly feeling disinterest in their conversation. he only craves to be by himself now. "alright, i'll catch you guys in a bit," his eyes turn to the cats sleeping peacefully on the cat tree, "i've got to feed the cats."

taglist: @merchelsea @leclercdream @labelledejourr @laneyspaulding19 @lpab @graciewrote @hollie911 @thatsojasminesworld @mycenterfold @princessria127 @ironmaiden1313 @dl-yum @crlsummer @brekkers-whore @minkyungseokie @honethatty12 @barelytolerabled @vellicora @lokigoeschoki @avg-golden-retriever

#max verstappen x reader #max verstappen #max verstappen x you #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen fanfiction #max verstappen imagines #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 fanfic #f1 fanfiction #formula 1 #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 x you #disneyprincemuke #disneyprincemuke imagine #disneyprincemuke imagines #disneyprincemuke f1 #disneyprincemuke midnights

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scoonsalicious · 3 months

Text

10.3 Lily

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, Lies, Machinations.

Word Count: 1.5k

Previously On...: Bucky found the envelope you were sent. And he did not take it well. He went running to Lily.

A/N: I have a job interview this afternoon! Wish me luck (although, by the time this posts, it will be over with already, but, you know, good vibes!)!!

If you ever feel so inclined to support my work, hop on over to buy me a coffee; it's much appreciated! <3

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Lily couldn’t believe her luck. When she had arranged to have that envelope sent to The WarZone, she expected Major to freak out, to be frightened and disturbed, maybe even disgusted, by everything Bucky had done in his past and decide to stop seeing him.

But for Bucky to think that Major was running background on him without his knowledge, and for him to run out on her? Lily couldn’t have planned it better. And he’d come to Lily for comfort. Everything was going perfectly. She was even willing to eat this disgusting pineapple on her pizza, she was in such a good mood.

Currently, Bucky was sitting on the floor, back leaning against her couch while she massaged his scalp, the television playing some mind numbing comedy in the background.

“I don’t get it, Lil,” he said with a groan. “If she had questions, she could have just asked me. I would have told her anything she wanted to know.”

“Mmm,” she hummed, wishing he would move on to a different topic, any topic, other than that harlot. “I did tell you she was a bitch, Jamie.”

Bucky leaned his head back. “But why would she do it?” he asked her with a sigh. “She made such a big deal about saying I didn’t have to tell her anything until I was ready. So, why would she go digging?”

Lily scratched at his scalp, trying not to let her annoyance come through her ministrations. “She obviously lied to you, Jamie. Apparently, your past mattered more to her than she claimed. I hate to say this,” she said, struck with a jolt of inspiration, “but maybe she’s attracted to that kind of thing. Some people are sick, Jamie and, well, it wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened.”

She eyed him, hoping the memory would hit the way she had intended it to. She had been particularly proud of orchestrating that breakup. Bucky had been devastated, of course– but when he had confided to Lily that he had been planning on asking Jessica, his girlfriend at the time, to move into his room at the Compound with him, she had to take action. What else was Lily supposed to do, honestly?

So, she'd fabricated search histories on Bucky's laptop for all kinds messed up Winter Soldier porn while Bucky was away on a mission; the nastier, the better; and then conveniently "discovered" the history after asking Bucky to borrow his computer. Since Jessica had, "technically," been the only other person, aside from Bucky, with access to the device, convincing him that she had been the one to search for it all hadn't been difficult. Despite Jessica's pleas that she'd done no such thing, it was hard refuting the evidence Lily had manufactured, especially since Bucky was so technologically illiterate and never thought to check for dates and times of the searches, and Jessica had been out of their lives by dinnertime. Lily would be eternally grateful to Rule 34.

“Is this how it’s going to be from now on?” Bucky asked her remorsefully. “Girls are either going to be terrified of the Winter Soldier, or weirdly turned on by him? There’s no in between where they just see 'Bucky'?”

Lily rolled her eyes. Was he always this fucking dramatic? “Jamie, you’ve barely been dating her. Be thankful you found out about her now, before you got in too deep.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “It could have been a lot worse. At least now, you know the truth about her, and you can move on.”

“I don’t know why I’m surprised,” Bucky lamented. “I’m a fucking monster. How can I expect any good woman to fall in love with me, after all the shit I’ve done?”

“Maybe,” she began, playing with the chain of his dog tags and hoping to get him off his pity train, “the problem is that you’re too caught up with girls who don’t really know you. Maybe you’d be better off with someone you already have a solid foundation with, you know?” Lily gently tugged his tags out from underneath his collar and began running her fingers across the metal, as she’d done hundreds of times before. It always made her feel connected to him, grounded.

Except, this time, they felt… wrong, somehow. The metal engraving where his name should be felt foreign, not the embossing she was so intimately familiar with. She felt her stomach plummet.

“What’s with your tags?” she asked, not even giving him an opportunity to respond to her previous statement. “They don’t feel right.”

Bucky pulled away from her, reaching up to gently take the tags from between her fingers into his own.

“These are Major’s,” he said softly as he ran his thumb across the engraving, looking at the tags almost longingly.

“Why–” Lily fought for composure, “why do you have her tags?” she asked him. “Where are yours?”

“We traded,” Bucky confessed to her. “Fuck, now I’m going to have to figure out how to get mine back.”

“You gave her your tags.” Lily did her best to cover her disgust and disbelief by making it a statement, not a question. In all their years of friendship, she’d never, not once, known him to ever take those tags off, let alone allow someone else to wear them– and lord knows she’d tried to get him to let her. Bucky nodded.

“You just let some random slut wear your tags, Jamie?” There was no hiding the distress in her voice now as she stood up from the couch, the action so abrupt that it knocked Bucky forward on the floor.

“You barely know her! That’s so… so… ugh, that’s so gross!”

“Why are you so upset about it?” he asked her, standing up and looking at her with a curious expression. “They’re my tags, but you’re freaking out about them worse than I am.”

Shit. Cover, cover, cover.

“Well,” Lily hemmed, “because, obviously, she’s awful. I mean, she did all that shady recon on you. I gotta say, I think you should probably be thankful for whoever sent her that envelope. They did you a favor in showing you her true self, right?”

Bucky froze, his expression staring off into the middle distance as if he’d just realized something of vital importance. “Shit,” he whispered.

“What?”

He made a beeline for the kitchen, picking up his discarded leather jacket and shrugging it back on. “I fucked up, Lil. I fucked up, big time.”

“Where are you going?” she asked as he made his way back toward the front door, and she could hear the desperation in her own voice. “Jamie, we’re having such a good night.”

Bucky paused to turn to her, his hand on the doorknob. “She was upset when she got that envelope, Lil. I was so taken by surprise when I saw the contents of it, I completely forgot about her reaction when she first recieved it. She didn’t even know where it had come from. There’s no way she was doing background research on me.”

Lily could feel all her opportunities slipping between her fingers like fallen sand. “Maybe she was lying to you. Covering her tracks so you wouldn't suspect,” she said, knowing the excuse was flimsy, but not being able to come up with anything else in the moment.

"But she didn't know I would even still be there," Bucky protested as he opened the door. "I got held up having a conversation with Nat. Major was surprised to see me still in the building. There's no way she made that bit up for my benefit."

“I don’t see how that changes her motives in the least. Maybe she saw you still there and came up with the lie on the spot.”

“Because that’s not who she is!” Bucky practically shouted, taking Lily aback with his tone. “You said she did me the favor of showing me her true self, and that’s just the thing– I don’t believe that’s who Major truly is. If, and that’s a big ‘if,’ she did look up information about my past, she probably had a damned good reason, and I–fuck– I never even gave her the chance to explain! I just stormed out of there like a fucking toddler! I have to go make this right while I still have a chance. I’ll let you know how it goes!”

And with that, he was out the door, running, once again, back to her, and leaving Lily all alone, and heartbroken. How could things have gone from so spectacularly wonderful to so awful, in such a short span of time?

More importantly, if, for some reason, Major did decide to forgive Bucky, what was Lily’s next step going to be to break them up for good?

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes

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disregardcanon · 5 months

Note

this probably seems like a weird question from your end,but why do fanfic writers care so much about comments? aos already tracks hits and likes, sorry ""kudos"", so why are comments such a big deal to the point that people will stop writing?

okay, so i'm going to take this question very seriously and i promise it's not to make you feel bad. this is a comprehensive explanation of reasons that comments are important for me, both as a writer and as a reader

engagement vs numbers game

seeing trends

buy-in

community building

engagement vs numbers game

let's look quickly at two different fics of mine. this is the kudos count for a fic called Of First Kisses and Burnt Lips

it's old. it's been up on ao3 for almost 11 years now. 258 people liked it enough to leave a kudos, 12 people liked it enough for a bookmark, and it's been clicked on 3,859 times.

i have no clue what almost any of these people on ao3 THINK about it. beyond "huh. sure. i'll kudos that". compare this to its crosspost on ffn, where i got 5 reviews

3/5 mention it being cute. 3/5 give appreciation to me for taking the time to write it. 2/5 praise the writing itself from the attention to detail with grammar to the craft. 1/5 is an "um..." which is hard to decipher but appreciate and 1/5 is a silly reaction, but it's a reaction! look, someone felt a felling reading my thing! that made me giggle!

looking at the stats here from a purely numbers perspective, my fic DID better on ao3. it got a lot more kudos than it ever got faves or reviews on ffn. but those ffn comments are still what i think about when i remember this fic.

sure, a shear number like hits or kudos can be comforting and motivating. i'm definitely not telling you to NOT leave kudos! but the fics that i've come back to, recently, are the ones where i don't have a lot of kudos but i do have a few people who are invested in the stories and leaving comments to tell me

2. seeing trends

lets look at a few of the comments on my fic The Maid of Honor Made Them Do It

so just in these two comments, we see both commenters hone in on the same detail: my choice to include a special christian music playlist that this characters' friends made for her. a few other people in this thread mentioned that same detail, so i know this bit really worked well! it's great feedback that lets me know that a good chunk of readers agree with my characterization here.

these readers zoom in on specific details that they really liked! things that made them laugh, the absurdity of the concept, enjoying reading it, and that they could see it staged, which is a HUGE compliment for a work in a fandom for theater.

i've always had trouble with imaging where characters are in a space, how they're occupying it and moving, and how to use that for characterization purposes. however, i got more than one comment on this fic about how people could see it staged! that means that i'm improving in an area that i've always struggled with. that's huge. it makes me want to keep working on this thing! it makes me feel like what i'm doing here matters, because lots of people are picking up on similar things! they're invested enough to give me a comment! and it makes me want to keep writing for the hatchetfield fandom because some people are invested in my work here. that is BIG! seeing trends in the way that readers experience your story helps a lot with writer buy-in for a project and also for writers self-analysis.

as a commenter: this helps me JUST as much. when i really dig into what i enjoyed about a fic to tell the writer about it, that helps me analyze and articulate the strengths and things i might want to take away from the storytelling, and that makes my writing better too!

3. buy-in

this is a comment on a series that has less than 100 kudos across three fics, but has thoughtful, appreciative comments on each work. it's called Melting Pot

the commenter deleted their ao3 account. they may be one of the people who commented on the next fic, which i posted recently. they might NOT have been! honestly, it doesn't matter that much to me. this person gave me a gentle and nudge about a fic that matters to me and mattered to them at the time, and they were part of the push i needed to get back to it.

from a commenter perspective, i know that hearing a kind word can help someone keep up their motivation to write, even when i can't write in depth comments the way that i like to!

just recently i only had the time to comment "nice update" on a favorite fic of mine called Teeth That Turn. but they know that i come and i read and they know and talk to me by (user)name. because they know i care about this thing they care about! and it's way more fun to do something like this when i know i can chat with the author about theories and thoughts and ideas. and this isn't a "wow aren't i so cool other writers like me! tehehe" bragging thing, it's just evidence for the case of why comments matter?

if i didn't want this to be a two way buy-in, i'd ONLY read published fiction, you know? we're all playing in the sandbox on the playground and i like what they made. they like that i like what they made :) we're scheduling a play date to fight with sticks after school my mom said it's okay!

4. community building

now i know that i just mentioned above here why i like being a commenter and how it helps authors, as well as why i like HAVING commenters as an author. i'm still arguing those things as a lead up to this section, where i have two other points to make about community building here too.

1. you can comment on OTHER comments! if you go through and read to see what other people are saying, you can agree with them. you can add some commentary! sometimes you can make a joke! and i've only ever had fun responses from something like that. authors tend to love that their fics are getting such a response that people are talking to each other about it! like look!!!!!! my thing got you to talk to someone else about it holy shit?!??!

2. commenting on fics in your fandom builds you a good reputation and makes other authors you comment on more likely to read YOUR fic. i'm not going to post any screenshots on this one because it would be embarrassing for everyone involved, but there have been authors that i really admired who gave my stuff a try after i commented on theirs. and they've told me that's why they tried it! like obviously it's not just networking or whatever, but it's really nice to have someone give your stuff a try because you've been enthusiastic and thoughtful about theirs.

and you make friends this way! fandom friends! who want to talk about your blorbos! you get to go on little play dates in cyberspace with cool people who like what you like. you don't ever HAVE to be a writer, of course. if you don't want to throw your hat into the ring or make art or edits or gif sets or anything, that's cool. no one ever has to participate in fandom outside of their comfort zone! but if you want to, you know that you'll feel more welcomed if you have some people in your corner for it, and making friends in a space, screaming about how much you love the characters you love, and remembering that fic authors especially are just fans too will help you feel like you "deserve" to exist in the space. maybe you don't write, but you go here too. you've got a space in the fandom and your comments don't have to be, like, perfect literary essays for authors to appreciate them and get a motivation boost from them still existing and us being able to go back to them and go!!! look!!! i don't suck!!! this person liked what i did so i'm okay! :)

#anons #writing things #ao3 things #the case for commenting

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viridescent-din · 2 years

Text

Hope

Joel x reader. Smut, 18+ only Fingering, age gap.

There’s no hope for you.

You don’t take it personally. There’s no hope for anyone anymore. But it still stings, knowing it will probably never get better. Knowing that in spite of everything, even though you and everyone else that’s left has been given the worst hand fate could have dealt, you can’t ever have what you want. What’s right in front of you.

Joel, leaving you for weeks on end to smuggle God knows what. Angry when you come, angry when you don’t. Short tempered and mean, hurting under all those layers of pain and experience and grime. When you met Joel, you promised yourself you would dig into him, make your way through those layers and burrow under them. Warm him from the inside out. You wanted to know him.

Now you do, and it hurts more than ever. It’s a nicer pain than feeling nothing at all, but it’s still heavy. The lingering glances Joel gives you make you feel truly alive, but they make you ache too. The wandering eyes, the brushes of his arm, the death grip he holds you in on the runs when you stumble across infected. You know Joel well enough to understand they mean something. To you and him. He doesn’t touch other people like that. He doesn’t care for them. Protect them.

If he’s felt the way he does for you this long and hasn’t done anything about it, he’s never going to.

It’s possible that Joel doesn’t want to make the first move - doesn’t want to be the one that really changes the comfortable (almost, almost domestic) closeness you two have. There’s lots of reasons he wouldn’t: he’s older than you, for one. There’s also FEDRA and the Fireflies and anyone else who keeps an eye on Joel, looking for a weakness. The lack of confirmation between the two of you as to just what you are bleeds over to anyone who watches you interact. If something changes, if Joel really admits this is real, it won’t stay between the two of you no matter how much he might try. They’ll notice. Joel can’t afford to lose anyone else.

It’s hopeless, you and Joel. So you try not to think about it, and you never, ever push him.

Joel can’t take this much longer. Can’t take you.

It’s killing him. Everything is: his job, his age, his sorrow. Everything is wearing Joel down, making him drag his feet and look for the nearest somewhat safe spot so he can collapse and finally rest. For just one fucking minute.

He only feels rested when he’s with you. And Joel hates himself for that. Hates putting that amount of responsibility on you - to burden you with him. You’ve never asked for that.

Of course, you’ve never asked because you’re scared that if you do, Joel will leave. He doesn’t blame you. He’s not entirely sure that he wouldn’t.

You’re so good. It blinds him sometimes, your goodness. Sometimes it’s like the sun, shining down on Joel as he overlooks the ruins of whatever given city he’s in. But sometimes it’s like the light on the soldier’s gun twenty years ago, forcing Joel to realize everything he holds dear is devastatingly fragile.

If Joel let you give yourself to him the way he knows you want to, all he would do is take. He would envelope you, trap you in his chest. He’s cold and gruff and he would expect you to just deal with it. More than you already do.

“Should be an easy run,” you finish telling Joel late one night. You try not to notice how nice he looks in red, even if the shirt he’s wearing is dusty and beat up. “I’ll be back before morning.”

“I’m coming with you.” Joel responds gruffly. You purse your lips.

“I know you had something planned with Tess,” you say. “It’s just the mall. I’m not even leaving the QZ.”

“It’s boarded up for a reason.”

“I trust the people that say it’s safe -”

“Tess can handle herself. Ain’t no thing for me to go with you.” You still.

You don’t mean to be upset with Joel, but stings anyway, the lack of faith he has in you. It’s times like this that make you feel young. Stupid and incapable.

Needy.

“Tess can leave the QZ on her own but I can’t even make a quick trip to the mall?” You manage to keep the accusation out of your tone, but it’s still implied. Joel knows.

“Hey,” he says, short. “That’s not what I’m sayin’.” You swallow.

“I know, Joel, I just -”

“Tess has experience. She’s been doing this shit practically since it all started.” You nod as you look away, nails digging into your palms as you clench them. Your heart jumps when you feel Joel take your hand, prying it open. “Quit doin’ that.” He murmurs. Joel’s hand is warm, spreading waves of heat throughout your body. You unclench your fist, and Joel rubs his thumb over the lines of barely broken skin. “It’s different with you,” he says, barely audible. “You know it is.”

For a second, you think this is it. The walls are coming down, and Joel is admitting. Confessing, even. You look at him, eyes wide and hopeful.

He drops your hand and walks away.

“I’ll be back tomorrow night. Be ready.” He says. The door slams shut behind him.

“What are we even here for?” Joel only thinks to ask once you’ve led him into some sort of breaker room. You shine your flashlight at all the light switches and levers, looking for the right one. Joel frowns at himself. He should have pressed you for more information about this. It’s not like him to… not. “If I’m just here to take you shopping, we can leave now.”

“Yeah, Joel, you’re here to take me shopping. Prom is right around the corner.” You say. Smart ass, Joel thinks. He lets himself smile while you aren’t looking.

“Think you’re a little old for that.” Joel shines his own flashlight overheard, looking at all the decay. Water drips onto his face, and he wipes it off.

“I’m not that much older, you know. I am twenty f-”

“Don’t finish that sentence.” Joel stops you. You grin at him before lifting a lever. Machinery whirrs around you both, and the lights slowly flicker on.

“Whatever you say, old man.” Joel rolls his eyes, but secretly, he’s relieved to have you teasing him again. Joel doesn’t like how he left your place last night, how real it felt. How for a moment, he was the cause of the hurt that flickered over your face. “This way.” You tell him, leading him down the maintenance hallway and into the actual mall.

Even Joel can’t help but marvel at it, even in ruin. It’s massive, and all the stores are reminding him of brands he had forgotten existed. His chest clenches at the sight of some of them, the models that would have Sarah’s age.

The last time he went to a mall was with her.

“Holy shit,” you breathe, eyes wandering. “Look how big it is, Joel! Everything is -”

“Are we gonna be here all night?” Joel demands, suddenly gruff and impatient. Your face falls. “Let’s get what you want and leave, alright?”

“Right,” you say, excitement gone. “It’s um - I just remember my mom going to the mall whenever one of us got sick. I know there’s… there are like, pharmacies or whatever. I thought it would be good to stock up on medicine.”

Joel pinches the bridge of his nose, angry at himself for taking his shit out on you. It’s not your fault he insisted on coming.

It’s a good plan, too. Joel is surprised he or Tess didn’t think of it.

“That’s good. Smart.” He tells you, trying to ease the tension. “Do you remember how to find your way around a mall?” You shake your head. “It’s called a directory. It’s a map, usually on the first floor.” Joel spots an escalator a few feet in front of you. “Let’s go look at one, yeah? Better than wandering around the entire night.”

“Okay.” You agree. “Lead the way.”

The pharmacy is on the second floor, so you and Joel head back the way you came after looking at the directory. You start rambling about how there might not even be anything, how a mall probably doesn’t have as much as a CVS or a Walgreens. Joel stops you.

“Even one bottle of antibiotics is better than none,” he tells you. “This was smart. Good job.” You give Joel a small smile.

“Thanks,” you say.

The pharmacy turns out to be well stocked - you and Joel jump over the counter and find practically everything full. Joel watches you look at the labels of everything a few times before you take to dumping things in your backpack. Joel is more careful, on the lookout for penicillin and any other helpful meds he can remember. He falters when he grabs one prescription and reads it: cryselle, low ogestrel. Birth control. Before he even realizes what he’s doing, Joel glances at you.

“You ready?” You ask. You’re standing on the counter, looking down. Joel shoves the pills in pocket.

“Yeah,” he says, swinging his backpack over his shoulder. “Let’s -” Joel doesn’t even hear the growling until it’s too late, until a rotted hand grabs your ankle and pulls, the crack of your ribs on the counter bouncing off the walls and the look of surprise on your face permanently searing itself onto Joel’s brain.

“Joel!” You scream, the infected chomping at you, practically ripping the skin of its neck to reach you. Bite you. You let out another scream, one pure terror and pain. Your torso is throbbing, a blinding pain that’s making it harder and harder to keep the infected off you. You thrash, kicking its legs in an attempt to get it off, but you only make its knees collapse so its weight falls on you even more. You let out a frustrated sob.

This is it, you think to yourself. Even if I get out of this, Joel is never letting me do a run again. Your arms start to weaken at the thought, subconsciously giving in.

The shot fires so close to you it makes your ears ring. The infected stops growling, slumping on top of you. You push it off, dazed.

Joel is on you in an instant, hands running over every inch of bare skin you have. Hands, wrists. Neck. He hooks his fingers under your chin and forces you to look at him, distress written all over his face. You cough, wincing as it rattles your ribs.

“Good,” you manage. “I’m clean.” Joel sags with relief, his forehead pressed against yours. He smells scared, stressed and acrid. You close your eyes and breathe it in.

“C’mon,” Joel says, standing. “There could be more. There’s always more.”

He takes you to his apartment. His, not yours. You drop your bags at the door, kicking off your shoes. Joel leads you to his bedroom, and you sit on his sheets, wincing. When you pull up your shirt, your skin is raised and bruised. You tug it back down.

“Does it feel like a clean break?” Joel asks. You shrug, not knowing what he expects you to say. He leaves, coming back with a bottle of pills and a glass of water. “Ibuprofen.” He explains. “Nothing fancy for a few broken bones.” You thank him.

“Should we wrap it?” You ask.

“Don’t know. Might make sleeping on ‘em the first night easier.” Joel watches you. “Can I see?”

You swallow as Joel stands over you. Slowly, you lift your shirt.

To Joel’s credit, he doesn’t freak out. It dawns on you that he might be thinking you’re making a big deal out of nothing. You don’t know what Joel’s life was like before you were in it, but you know it was worse than a few cracked bones. Embarrassment creeps up your face.

“It’s nothing.” You dismiss it. Joel nods.

“Nothing.” He agrees. He doesn’t sound convincing, though.

It’s not even that bad. Joel knows that.

He watches people die every day. He’s seen the worst of death and then some. He’s seen people stumble into the QZ holding their innards in their hands. He’s watched people rip their tongues out as the virus infects them, trying to rid themselves of the spores they can feel invading their bodies.

You have a few cracked ribs. You’re strong. You can handle it.

But the thing is, Joel can’t. He’s worn down, he’s exhausted and scared he just can’t keep himself from caring so much.

He’s making this a bigger deal than it is. Joel thinks you feel the same - you’re waving him off, saying you’re fine. Saying it’s nothing. The wound is, sure. But the terror Joel felt when he saw you disappear behind the counter in less than a second? That isn’t nothing. It’s everything. You’re everything.

“You wanna stay here for the night?” Joel asks you. Splashes of black and blue spread over your torso, painting your skin. It makes Joel feel sick. He shouldn’t have let this happen.

“Yeah,” you say. “If it’s okay.” Joel shrugs in response, hunching his shoulders to ward his paranoia away. You give him a small smile, tugging your shirt down. Joel turns around, walking over to the small dresser near the door and digging out one of his flannels. He knows you like them, and you know Joel likes seeing you in them just as much. He tosses it to you on the bed. You catch it smoothly, laying it next to you. Joel faces the wall, letting you change your shirt.

And then he hears it.

It’s a small noise that you make. It probably isn’t even one of pain, you’ve been through worse than this, it’s just a hiss of discomfort as you raise your arms above your head to take your shirt off.

And Joel is rushing towards you, brow furrowed, hands outstretched and mind telling him no, no, no, just like it has for years.

Joel’s been silently telling himself no to you since he met you. He’s older now.

He can’t bring himself to listen anymore.

Joel kneels in front of you, grunting as his knees protest. Your eyes are wide, and you’ve frozen. Your hands are gripping the hem of your shirt, holding it just above your navel. You watch as Joel’s eyes flick towards the bareness of your stomach, and even though he just saw it so he could look at your ribs, Joel can tell you know he’s looking in a different way now. He swallows, leaning forward.

“Let me help you, baby.” Joel says. You draw in a breath.

“Are you sure?” You whisper. You know what this means, what Joel’s thinly veiled statement implies. Joel returns your gaze.

Joel reaches forward, grabbing the hem of your shirt and lifting it carefully over your head. A small ‘good job’ tumbles off his lips when you raise your arms without making another sound of discomfort again, and Joel sees what his praise does to you.

He leans back on his heels, looking at you sitting with your breasts exposed on his bed, bones cracked and in need of repair. He watches you wait for him to really promise something, to show you that this is finally happening.

You’ve been so patient. Joel can’t make you wait any longer.

“Joel,” Joel’s name comes out a gasp as he lays you down,

Joel props himself on the wall, sitting on the pillows. He pulls your back against his chest, arm over your collarbone while his other hand dangles between your legs. He massages your thighs and your eyes slide shut. You grip his forearm, nails biting into his skin.

When Joel’s fingers have finally worked their way up and are tracing your slick entrance, you whimper.

“I know, baby. I’ve got you.” Joel licks the shell of your ear as he murmurs, and you feel so safe. He’s capable and willing and wanting, you can feel his hardness against the small of your back.

If it were anyone else, this would feel sudden. But it’s Joel. You’ve been waiting so long. You’d be lying if you said you understood why it was now that he finally decided to do something, but you don’t care. You don’t care why this brush with death was the one that made the walls come down. You just care that it did.

Joel kisses your neck, sinking his teeth into the muscle of where your shoulder meets your neck, and you gasp, keening against him.

Teeth marks on your shoulder. Bruises on your hips. Joel is trying to make up for the fact you’re battered from today’s supply run. You’re about to say something about it when his fingertip pushes into your cunt. Your mouth drops open, and you moan so loud you almost slap your hand over your mouth instinctively.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” you hear Joel say as he slides his finger further in. Your thighs tremble, and Joel stills. “Hey,” Joel says your name, serious. “How long has it been?” He asks in a whisper. He runs his thumb up painfully slow over your clit, the same way you would to someone’s back or shoulder if you were trying to comfort them. It makes your head spin. “I gotta know how slow you need it.” He explains. You open your eyes, and Joel is staring at you.

“I,” you feel your cheeks burn. “I haven’t ever…” excuses build on your tongue before you even finish your sentence. I haven’t had time. I was the only survivor I knew of for years. I was only a kid when this all started. I can’t trust anyone around here. I’m younger than you. You don’t say any of them. You can’t bring yourself to.

“Oh, baby -”

“Please don’t stop,” you plead. Joel doesn’t move, his finger still inside you, gaze piercing. “Please, Joel. It’s not - it doesn’t have to be a big deal. I need this.” You can’t reach Joel’s lips from here, not with the way he’s holding you, so you drop your head and drag your lips across his forearms instead. “I need you.”

Joel closes his eyes, screwing them shut like he’s upset. But when he opens them, there’s no trace of anger. Just affection.

“I’m not gonna stop,” he promises you. You nod, relieved. “I’m taking care of you, darlin.’”

When Joel pushes another thick finger inside you to prove his point, he chases away any doubt you had remaining.

“I’m not going to use my cock on you tonight,” Joel tells you after what feels like hours of him working you open.Your disappointment is obvious. Insecurity begins to set in on you, but Joel won’t let it. “Not tonight,” he repeats. “Another time.” It takes a second for you to believe him, but eventually you murmur a quick ‘okay.’ “For now, I want you to finish with my fingers. Think you can do that for me, baby?” You nod, and Joel rewards you by curling his finger. “Good girl,” he says, and you clench around him. Joel smirks, amused, and rubs the thumb he has on your shoulder up and down soothingly. “Relax,” he tells you. “I’ve got you. Let me in.”

You try to wrap your head around the fact that this is happening, that after years of pining after Joel, he’s finally here. He’s sturdy and strong and present - you can feel all of him, his heartbeat against your back, his breath on your neck, his fingers so deep it’s like you can feel him in your stomach. His smell grounds you, filling your senses. You’re so full, so full of Joel. You have been for a long time now.

You take a deep breath, letting yourself inhale Joel’s scent. Your exhale is shakier as Joel presses in deeper. Your gaze flickers down to where his fingers disappear, and you whimper at the sight. You’re never seen yourself like this, swollen and puffy. You’re transfixed by Joel’s fingers pumping in and out of you, shiny with your slick. He suddenly finds a spot you’ve never had touched before. You moan as he massages the spongy place, trying to find your breath. When Joel keeps at that and rubs at your clit again, your vision starts to blur.

“Joel,” you gasp, the feeling foreign and overwhelming. “Joel. Joeljoeljoel -”

“Shh. You’re okay. I’m here,” Joel slows. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No!” You exclaim. Your mind is spinning as the corners of your eyes begin to go white.

“Okay. Alright,” Joel soothes you. “I know, darlin’, I know. Feels so good it’s almost scary, isn’t it?” You screw your eyes shut, your chest heaving as you pant. Joel presses on, his confident voice pushing you close to the edge. “But you don’t need to be scared. You can let yourself have this,” Joel takes a breath in, his voice getting distant. “You deserve this, alright? Let me give this to you.” Joel almost sounds like he’s begging. “Please let me do this for you.”

All you can do is clench around him in response.

Joel knows, Joel knows he shouldn’t be doing this. You’re better than him. You should have someone more handsome, someone younger, someone kinder.

Someone with less blood on their hands.

But Joel is selfish. He’s a selfish man, he has been since he lost Sarah, and he wants this. Wants you. He wants to give you something, make you feel good for just one second in the shitty world you have to live in. He needs this. He needs to know you’re getting some type of pleasure.

He hesitates when you say this is your first time.

It shouldn’t surprise him - you don’t have the resources people before the virus did. No internet, no sex ed, no parents or older siblings to ask.

You don’t like new things. Joel knows you don’t like being inexperienced. You’re too good at what you do, it makes your tolerance for being out of depth very, very low. And this is so much more personal than anything else. He can feel your embarrassment when you confess to him, unable to even finish your sentence.

“Oh, baby,” he murmurs, and it isn’t because you have anything to be ashamed about, it’s because Joel is pretty sure you’ve barely even touched yourself and you still find it in you to trust him to do it. To beg. Joel is a sick man, because it goes straight to his dick, your trust and desperation.

He wants to give this to you, and he doesn’t care if it also feels like taking.

When you cum, sweating and writhing in his arms, you clench tighter around Joel’s fingers than he knew was possible. He can feel your fucking heartbeat, and his hand isn’t even on your chest.

You’re far away when Joel eases his fingers out of you. He manages to lay you down on the bed, cautious of your ribs. He starts to stand to get a washcloth to clean you up, but you grip his hand.

“Please don’t go,” you tell him, vulnerable. “Please, Joel.”

Joel hates himself. Hates that he’s ever acted in some type of way that would make you think he would leave you when you need someone.

When you need him.

“I’m just grabbing something to clean us up,” he promises, rubbing your knee. “We made a mess, darlin’.” You sag, relieved.

Joel caves once he’s in the bathroom and out of your sight. He presses his fingers to his tongue, savoring your taste. He sucks his fingers off like a starved man, and can’t wait until he gets it straight from the source.

There is hope after all. For you and Joel. You can tell because of the dull throb in your core. Joel’s half hard cock against your hip. The medicine in your packs by the door, the softness of Joel’s lips over the skin of your ribs.

There is hope - always was. Even though you had to wait for it.

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