#to come here you emotionally starved child here's a hug

[brighttears]

Cleardune Chapter 1: Petunia

Joel Miller x f!reader

no physical description, no use of y/n

Summary: Today, you feel just as dead as the saloon is. Then, a cowboy strolls in, and at first he’s just one of those passersby that roll through town, but once you see him, you’re like a deer in the headlights. He’s drop dead gorgeous, and you can’t get him out of your head. After “running into him” after you get off of work, he invites you for a night ride. Of course, you oblige. 

Word count: 5.3k

Warnings: Drinking, emotionally neglectful/absent father, mention of being hit by father, mention of reader’s mother dying, kinda touch starved reader

A/n: woooo lets get this party started yeehaw

Series masterlist

—

The pianist is playing his tenth rendition of the same piece you've heard that many times already today, and you feel like you could melt into the floor. If it stays this slow here at the saloon, you just might. 

“‘Nother.” Demands the town drunk, Henry, though it’s barely past noon. Far before the sun sets, he’ll be carried out of here. Still, you pour him another glass, and watch him twirl it in his hand before taking a long sip. 

The bar is empty except for him and a couple regulars playing cards quietly at one of the tables. The pianist must be as miserable as you, here all day with the most interesting thing to happen being a gust of wind slightly waving the saloon doors. 

Many days, like today, you feel like you’re in limbo. Nothing ever happens in the tiny town of Cleardune, and practically all you do is this: bartend; your father won’t let you do much of anything else. Sometimes, you don’t think he even remembers that you’re his daughter—his only daughter, that is, his only child, only family. He hasn’t even looked at a woman since your mother died, and that was ten years ago. He won’t speak her name. The last time you did is the only time he’s ever hit you. Backhanded, he nearly knocked you on the floor. Once, someone else spoke her name, only in passing, and it turned into a damn brawl. It’s as if he wants to forget her, to obliterate her memory completely. And you hate him for it. You hate that he acts like you’re not the last thing of her that he has left. Like you’re nothing more than an employee at his damn bar. And yet, every boy you’ve ever tried to bring home, he’s raised a shotgun at. It’s like he wants your life to be empty. Lonely, meaningless. Nothing. As long as you’re in this town, your life will be nothing but nothing. 

For years, you’ve dreamed of running away, but you know nothing about surviving out there in the desert. Hell, you don’t even know how to ride a horse, thanks once again to your father. He wants you to stay here, keep being his bartender, cook him his meals, wash and iron his clothes, take care of him while he says nothing, not a single thanks, or hug, or even a pat on the head. Sometimes, you think he’s forgotten your name. You’d thought that maybe he’d warm back up in the years since your mother’s passing, but he hasn’t. 

The idea of getting out of here is becoming more and more mouth watering, even if you have no clue what you’d do with yourself. Just, something, something interesting, something new, an adventure. An adventure, that’s what you want. To get out of here, that’s what you need. 

The saloon doors push open as you daydream, but you don’t bother to look up until you hear an unfamiliar set of spurs. You raise your elbows off of the bar, watching the man walk in. He’s tall and broad, a cowboy hat hiding his face, his jacket thick and dark. As the stranger approaches the bar, all heads turn. Not many of those come through here, but you have seen a cowboy like him before, stopping in town for a few days at most. For a bed and a drink, rest for a little while until they realize that there’s nothing here other than that and a prostitute or two who have been doing it for so long they barely bother to smile anymore. 

The brim of his hat keeps his face shielded as he takes a seat. This, now, is the most interesting thing that has happened in months, and, naturally wildly intrigued, you slide over to him.

“What’ll it be?”

And then he looks up, and you see his face, and he is handsome. Tan skin, graying scruff, and deep, brown, almost puppy dog eyes

“Whiskey.” His voice is low, faintly gruff, and like honey. 

As you turn back for a bottle and a glass, you feel your entire face and chest flush, so you take your time with it. Christ almighty, you think to yourself. When you turn back, you can’t meet his eyes, despite how much you want to. He is the most handsome man you have ever seen. And not just that, he’s pretty. 

“Thank y’ kindly, ma’am.”

“Just let me know if you want anything else.” Your voice comes out high, and you immediately busy yourself with a cloth over the clean bar. 

“Sure will.” 

He sips quietly while you burn up, as if he’s radiating the heat of the sun from just a few feet away. Your mind races. After calming it as best you can, you decide that you need to strike up a conversation, which is a bit out of your character, but you can’t not. 

“So, where you coming from? Running or just walking?”

He looks up at you, licking his lips after a sip, and you’re almost beside yourself. The man chuckles and shakes his head, glancing back down for only a moment before looking back at you with a slight smile, that one little move making your chest flutter, “Nothin’ to worry about ma’am, not runnin’ from anythin’. Just travelin’.”

“What town were you in before this?”

“Can’t remember the name. Far from here.”

“Well, what brings you here?”

He lifts his glass, “Bit a’ this. Bed for me and some rest for my horse. It’s been a while.”

“Well, welcome to town.” You pull a smile out of yourself. Same ol’, same ol’, he sounds like, which is disappointing, but something about him is different. Maybe it’s just how stupidly good looking he is, but there’s something else, you think. 

“Thank y’ kindly.” He tilts his hat with a smirk. 

“So… how long are you staying?”

“Not long I reckon.”

Even though the reply was expected, it’s disappointing. Not like there’s anything to offer to keep him around in this dead end town. 

“Well… where are you headed after this?”

“Nowhere in particular. Like I said, I’m just a travelin’ man.”

“Gets lonely out there, doesn’t it?” You say before you can stop yourself. Not that it’s any kind of invitation, you really didn’t mean much by it, but you realize how it sounds as soon as the question leaves your lips. Henry slightly raising his head from across the bar tells you that it was probably too much. You bite your cheek. 

“Not when I’ve got Petunia with me.”

“Petunia?” Your voice comes out high again and you swallow hard. Has he already got a woman? A woman dedicated enough to be traveling with him? You feel your dreams have been dashed, all of those that have already built up in your head in only the first few minutes of meeting him. You know it’s ridiculous, but this man is somehow overriding all rationality in your mind. Maybe because there’s something else in you thinking for itself. You can’t really blame the little lady, you don’t get a lot of action around here. 

He chuckles. “My horse. Her name’s Petunia.”

“Oh,” you half chuckle, releasing a breath, “Pretty name.”

“Well, she’s a pretty girl.” He replies and sips. 

“I’ll bet she is.” 

“How d’you reckon that?”

“Pretty horse for a pretty cowboy.” You immediately bite your cheek again, swallowing hard. He chuckles and looks down, and you think you can hear someone else in the room snort. Silently, but very loud in your head, you curse yourself. 

“Well, thank you, ma’am… you’re not too bad yourself, if I may say.” He says as he looks back up at you, keeping your gaze as he sips his whiskey. 

“Well, thank you…” You feel your face and chest heat up again, but you can’t tear your eyes away long enough to hide. 

Well, he did meet you where you were at. And, even if it means that all he might want to do is fuck you before he’s off again, you’ll take it, even if it’s bad. But he looks like he knows his way around a woman. You bet he’d be real gentle, real loving. 

Then, you have to look away, and retreat to polish a few clean glasses. 

And that’s the last you speak, save for the “Thank ‘y ma’am,” and tip of his hat after he finishes his glass before the saloon doors swing closed behind him, and it feels like he’s gone almost as quick as he came. 

Henry hee-hee’s as he pushes his own empty glass forward, and you shoot him a glare as you fill it back up. You just hope he’s not so entertained by it that he decides to tell your father, because that’ll be the end of things for sure. 

The rest of the day is slow and dead, slower and deader than it’s ever felt before, and it gives you plenty of time to wonder about this strange, handsome cowboy. He said he isn’t running, so he’s no outlaw. Is he really just a traveling man? Does he have some wife out there? Kids? Where is he from? Does he have somewhere he’s aiming for? Something? Would he ever want to settle down? Maybe with you? Christ, you don’t even know his name. 

Just as the sun is about to set, your father comes into the saloon, waving you off without a word before taking your place behind the bar. He gives you no extra chores, though you’ll need to be fixing dinner soon, so you grant yourself permission to wander through town for just a little while, no doubt to try to catch sight of the man from earlier. You repeatedly smooth your dress as you walk, wishing you’d worn a nicer one today. He’s nowhere in sight, until you get to the barn at the edge of town, and there, you spot him. 

The setting sun coming through the other end of the barn’s open doors frames his figure, his hands on the cheeks of what must be Petunia. His silhouetted profile is something for the books, and you stop dead in your tracks, watching him. 

Feet moving helplessly, you wander in, and lean against the wide door frame. 

“Is that Petunia?”

When he looks at you, he’s shadowed, but he tips his hat, “Sure is. Wanna meet ‘er?”

You reply with a smile and wander in further. Petunia is, in fact, a very pretty girl—nearly white blonde, blue eyes like the sky, and built almost like a draft horse, with a matching gentle nature. She’s striking, just like her rider. 

“She sure is a looker, you were right.” “Ain’t she?” He sounds so proud when he says it. 

You pet her snout, and she bends her head into it. “Polite, too.”

“She’s a good girl. ‘Til you get on her bad side.” You hear the smirk in his voice.

“And how do you get on her bad side?” You look at him, the setting sun glinting behind his cheekbone.

“Shootin’ at ‘er.” He smirks.

“You get shot at a lot?”

He chuckles and shakes his head, “Nah, don’t cause enough trouble for it.” 

“So… you’re really just a traveler, huh?”

“Sure am.” “How come? Why not, you know, settle down somewhere?” He shrugs, “Get too restless if I’m in one place for too long.”

“Yeah, I can understand that.” You chuckle lightly, feeling like your ass has been on fire for about half a decade, despite no moves to put it out. 

“How long you been here, then?”

“My whole life.” You answer with a sheepish smile. 

“How old ‘re you?”

“Twenty.” “That’s a long time to be in one place. Why don’t you leave?”

You shrug. “I don’t know how to be anywhere else.”

“Well… that’s fair. It’s a rough world out there.”

“I still sure would like to see it.”

“Ma’am,” he pauses, “I don’t mean to be impolite, but you’re lucky to be in a town like this.” “You mean somewhere where nothing ever happens?” You chuckle.

“Better than one bein’ shot up every few days.” Sheepish again, you look back at Petunia and run your hand over the bridge of her nose. “I guess you’re right.”

He pauses, then adds, “I can understand, though. Must be damn boring—’scuse my language.”

“You said that right.” “Well, what do you do for fun around here?”

You snort. “‘Fun’ is not a thing around here.” It’s an honest answer, but you soon regret it, fearing scaring him off sooner than he’s bound to be gone already. 

“Well, that just means you make your own fun then, right?” You look at him, “And how do you suppose I do that?” “Well… you wanna take a little ride with me and Petunia? Not far.”

Though you desperately, desperately want to say yes, you keep yourself regretfully under control. “… I can’t, I should already be back home to make dinner. Besides, my father would have a fit if he caught sight of that.”

After a pause, he leans against the stall. “Tell you what, then.” He crosses his arms with a smirk, gaze warm. “Meet me back here tonight. When you can. I know how to ride in the dark.”

You blink at him. “…Really?”

Still smirking, and tips his head, “Really. If you’d like to.”

“I’d love to.”

“Well alright then.” He smiles. After a moment, you manage to tear your eyes away from him, giving one last pet to Petunia before backing back out of the barn, trailing a smile before turning on your heel to make your way back home. 

“Hey,” you hear behind you, and whirl back to face him. “Beg your pardon, ma’am,” he speaks as he walks to you, “I just realized I never introduced myself. M’names Joel. Joel Miller.”

As you introduce yourself to him, you can’t even hear yourself, his name swirling around your mind. Joel, Joel, Joel Miller rolls around your tongue. It suits him. Joel, Joel, Joel… “Joel,” when it leaves your lips, you smile. “Very nice to meet you.”

He tips his hat, “Pleasure to meet you. Will I see you tonight?”

“Yes. Yes, I’ll be here.” You answer quickly, nodding. 

“Well, I’ll be waiting.” With that smile like a sunrise, he tips his hat once more. Sensing the possibility of fainting, you finally bid farewell with a simple nod and turn back and scurry back to the saloon and up the stairs to your home above it.

Nothing new tonight—lonely cooking and a silent meal, a gruff “G’night” from your father, though this evening you clean up a little quicker before retreating to your room. Joel has been stuck on your tongue and in your head, and all you can think about is seeing him. Digging through your armoire for your one pair of jeans and nicest blouse, you smile to yourself, giddy both to see him again and to have something to do tonight. Plus, you haven’t been out past the town entrance gate in way too long. At the bureau, you smooth your hands over your hair. 

To you, nothing much to see in the reflection. It’s a bit disheartening, to look at yourself right before you’re about to go see the most handsome man alive, but he invited you, so you’re going. 

You turn your bedroom light off before you go, doing only that one thing to try to make it look like you're asleep, not that it matters. Then, you inch your rackety window open as quietly as possible, and reach for the first branch of the tree standing right outside. 

You don’t sneak out often, but this tree grants you free access to whenever you desire. Either it was made for you, grown to fit you, or you’ve just learned it like the back of your hand, but you descend with ease, though your heart rate picks up with each step down. 

The barn is a short walk—not enough time to calm your nerves, and your heart is just about beating out of your chest as you approach it. 

The hanging light inside is off, making you nervous he’s not actually there, but then you recognize his moonlit silhouette through open back doors. God, he’s so big and broad… and his hat is off. 

“You came.” Comes his voice as you enter, sounding genuinely glad, and you smile. 

“Of course I did.” You strategically stand with the light of the moon on your back, lighting up his face, and dear lord in heaven, he’s absolutely beautiful. With his hat off, you can finally appreciate this gorgeous mop of salt and peppered brown curls he’s been hiding from you, and god, those eyes, dark and deep as melted chocolate, full of life despite the shroud of his brow, that nose, like a sculpture from heavenly fingers, those lips, relentlessly inviting despite their unavoidably chappedness; even his facial hair suits him absolutely perfectly. It’s almost unfair. 

“Nice night for a ride, don’t’y think?” He smiles. 

“Yeah.” You answer, almost at a loss for words just looking at him. 

“Well, come on,” Joel cocks his head, “let’s get Petunia all ready to go.”

You watch him open her stall, taking the horse gently by the bridle. He looks at you while he brings her out, then says again, “Come on,” words just as gentle as his hands, a small smile on those perfect goddamn lips. But you’re unsure of what he means, so all you do is step forward. 

He hides a chuckle. “You know how to tack up a horse?”

You barely even know what that means, only having heard the words tossed around from a distance. “No…” you reply, “my father’s never let me ride. Or do anything, really.”

“You mean you just stay cooped up in that bar all day?”

“…For the most part,” you shrug sheepishly, “I mean, I get out, just… not much…”

He stops with Petunia on the barn floor. “You’ve never ridden a horse?” 

“No…” Suddenly, you feel small; stupid, really, a naive little girl. But without missing a beat, Joel casts your anxieties to the side with a casual tone, “Well, let me show you.” 

Slowly, he demonstrates how to attach the reins to her bridle, put on and secure her saddle, and then he hoists you up onto her, one hand under your foot and his other on your hip to push you up. You have to take a moment, at that hand on your hip, before you can process his words. 

“Sorry, say again?”

“I said there you go. Now, sit back a little so I can get on up there.” You do as you’re told, and what a sight, as he brings himself onto Petunia, a new view of his ass, though it doesn’t last nearly long enough. But then those thick thighs, resting on either side, and no eyes on you to stop you from soaking up the view.

“You ready to go, little lady?”

“Ready.” Delighted, you smile.

“Well, hang on, then,” Joel takes your hands to bring around him and then crosses them over his belly, and you’re in heaven. He’s thick, he’s a man, strong and capable and warm and god what you would give to never have to let go. 

Joel clucks twice and Petunia starts a relaxed pace out of the barn. As you leave it, turning towards the entrance to town, you look around nervously, scared of being caught, the worst feared, by your father, even though there’s no reason for him to be out now. The coast is clear, but you stay preoccupied with worry, head almost on a swivel until you're a good few dozen yards outside of town. 

Once you let yourself relax, the only sounds are hooves in the sandy dirt and the swish of the saddle. The moon is out and bright, setting clear light over the desert. 

Joel makes a turn, and you can see the town at your side. From here, even though you’re not all that far, it looks so small. 

After a few moments, you realize, “I’ve never been this far out of town.”

“Never?”

“No.”

“Well, how do you like it so far?”

A cool gust of wind brushes your cheek, and, looking at the town becoming smaller and smaller, it feels like freedom. 

“I love it.”

Joel chuckles. “Well, there’s plenty of space to love. Miles and miles of this outside your little town.”

“I know.” You reply wistfully, and Joel chuckles again.

It’s silent for a few minutes; not awkward, but serene. Something about him makes everything feel peaceful, and you sigh deeply, closing your eyes for a moment. This is the nicest night you’ve had in a long, long time. You’d stay out all night with him like this. Then, to your dismay, you remember that he’ll be leaving soon; this might just be the only night you’ll have with him. And you’ll be left back here, probably thinking about it for the rest of your life, the handsome cowboy who came and went, swept you up with a look and was gone again like a whiff of smoke. Maybe a few days ago, one night like this would be enough, but now that you have it, it isn’t. 

“You said… you’re only staying for a few days?” You speak up, a mousy voice betraying you.

“That’s the plan.”

Not knowing what to say, you stay quiet. You’ve already told him how desperately you want to leave, so why would he want to stay?

Finally, you say, “Well, that’s too bad.” 

“N’ why’s that?”

“I dunno… I guess, it’s just… you’re the most interesting thing that has happened here in ages.”

“Oh, yeah?” He chuckles. 

“I’ll miss you.”

For a few moments, it’s just the hooves in the sand, and you nervously adjust your grip around him. 

“Well, you don’t have to miss me just yet.” He finally answers, “Night’s not nearly over. And I’m sure to be comin’ to the saloon tomorrow.” This gets a small smile out of you, but it isn’t quite enough to stop the wave of melancholy souring your mind. “Don’t go worryin’ about things that aren’t here and now. This is nice, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah, it is. It’s real nice.”

“Let’s just have a nice night, then, huh?”

“Yeah.” 

After a while of silence, appreciating your arms around Joel, the cool night breeze on your face, and view of the desert with its cacti and mesas crowned by the waning moon, Petunia slows to a halt. “Alright,” Joel sighs, turning his head back to you. “Lemme show you how to dismount.” He slides off and drops to the ground, then looks back up at you. “Jus’ swing your legs around and I’ll help you.” You turn to sit on the side of the horse and are met by outstretched arms that make your heart flutter. “Just slide on down, now.” As you do, he puts his hands around your waist to help you to the ground. Once you are, he keeps them there, and all you can do is stare up at him. His slanted smile shows off a single dimple, crows feet in the corner of his eyes. Suddenly, all you can think about is kissing him. 

“Damn.” He says quietly. 

“What?” You breathe out. 

“You are one pretty lady.”

“…What?” You half chuckle, on fire. 

“I said you’re one pretty lady. Maybe even prettier than Petunia.” You chuckle again, and he chuckles with you. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s just, um… you’re pretty.”

Joel laughs at that, only further proving your point. “I’m pretty?”

“Yeah!” You laugh back, “I mean, I’ve never met a man that’s pretty, but you are pretty.” 

In the moonlight, you swear you catch a blush as he looks away. “Well, I’ve never been called pretty before.”

“About time, then.” You chuckle, more like a giggle, his hands still warm on your waist. 

“Damn.” Joel says again, still looking to the side. 

“What?”

“Nothin’.” He chuckles again, “Nothin’.”

You stand silently for a moment, held in his hands, him looking away with a smile that’s fading in a way that tells you he’s thinking about something. When he looks back at you, his eyes drop to your lips, and your heart jumps like a racehorse out of the gates. Joel’s hands close just a little tighter around your waist, but then he lets go, standing back with his hands now on his own hips. His eyes linger for a moment before they’re back out to the desert. “We’ve been out for a while. Should start headin’ back. Don’t want you to lose any beauty sleep.” He ends with a smirk back at you, but you barely blush, the words rushing out of you, “I wanna lose sleep. With you.” You swallow hard after that. 

If only you could control your tongue around him, but you can’t seem to. Noticing that you had taken a step closer as you spoke, it’s like something inside of you is pressuring every other part of you to stay as close to him as possible. As if staying away from him isn’t an option. 

Something has shifted inside of you. Though you barely know him, you’ve never wanted someone so bad. In every way, not just how you made it sound with that last sentence. You just want to be near him, be with him. Out here, anywhere, with him. You want to know him. Happily, you would make dinner for him every night, iron his clothes, take care of Petunia, take care of him. And something about him tells you that he’d take care of you, too. Nothing like your father. No, you’ve never met anyone like Joel. 

Christ, are you going crazy? You really barely know him at all. But there’s just something about him, your heart argues back, trust me, it tells you, don’t let him go. 

“Wha’d’ya mean by that?” He replies, smiling at you. 

Maybe he’s silently laughing at you, maybe you’re a fool, but you don’t care. You’ll be a fool for him. You don’t have time to think it over. 

“I, I wanna stay up with you. Can’t we just stay up a little longer?”

After a moment, he nods, “Yeah, alright.” And you smile. “Well, it is gettin’ cold, so why don’t we head back? Don’t have to part ways, just get back where we won’t freeze our asses off.”

You chuckle, then follow Joel back onto the horse. 

The temperature drops noticeably by the time you get back, and you’re shivering once you’re on the barn floor again. 

“Good thing we came back, huh?” Joel says as he sets Petunia back up in her stall for the night. 

Rubbing your arms with a shiver, you reply, “Yeah, I guess so.” He looks back at you and chuckles, “You sure didn’ dress for it, either.” All you offer is a bashful smile, feeling naive again. However, once again, Joel dashes it away with a “Here,” pulling his thick jacket off to wrap around you. 

It is intoxicating. The warmth, the smell. Strongly of leather, but a mix of others you can’t quite place… it smells like him. 

“That better?” He asks with a smirk, but you are unable to answer, face likely simply full of awe, but you can’t help it. Chuckling, Joel looks away, rubbing your arms, “Yeah, that’s better.”

Finally, your mouth allows, “Thank you.”

“Course. Can’t stand to see you shiverin’ like that.”

He can’t stand it. Can’t stand to see you cold. Just a shiver, he just can’t stand it. He cares.  

Thinking about it, maybe that shouldn’t be such a big deal, such a big ask, but it hits you. Just not used to it, you guess. Still, you barely know each other, and he cares enough to almost literally give you the shirt off his back. 

“This is better.” Even to yourself, your voice sounds absent, like you’re in a trance. Still intoxicated by his warmth and his smell, you really kind of are.

“Good.” Joel smiles. “You look tired, little lady, and it really is gettin’ late. Are you supposed to be out here at all?”

“No.” Is your unthinking answer. He chuckles. “Well, then, let’s get you home. How about you show me the way.”

He wants to walk you home. With his jacket around your shoulders, he’s gonna walk you home. God damn gentleman. Why is he doing this to you? Actually, you don’t really care, because you’re so warm now and he smells so good and he’s at your side as you walk back home with a little smile on his lips. 

Just this morning, you were utterly miserable, bored almost to death, ready to sink into the filthy wood floor of the bar you spend more time in than your own bed, but now, well… here you are. He’s like a meteor hitting your world, tearing everything away, rearranging it all. It feels like he’s what you’ve been waiting for. 

You take him around the side of your house, stopping at the tree. 

“This is you, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“No front door?”

“I don’t want… I don’t want my father to see you here. With me.”

Joel pauses, smirking. “Alright.”

For a moment, you stand there, just staring. You don’t know if Joel has any real idea of what he’s done to you tonight. Then the breeze reminds you back to reality, and you say, starting quickly but ending with a swat of self consciousness for your enthusiasm in the question, “I’ll see you tomorrow…?”

He smiles and nods back, and in it, you think maybe he does see some of his effect. It’s instantly embarrassing, but at the same time, you don’t think you really want it to be hidden from him. Not that you could, if you do see him again. You’re well aware that for you, this is just the beginning, whether you like it or not. “I sure hope so. You’ll be behind the bar?” Joel replies. 

“Course I will.” 

“Then, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He pauses and chuckles. “Not that I’m a heavy drinker, I’m not gonna be comin’ by every day to drink. Just to see you.”

Damn this man, and damned are you. He wants to come… to see… you. He’s coming for you. You have to swat yourself back into reality again, realizing how much you’ve been staring. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” The smile sticks to your face, cheeks starting to hurt. 

Joel tips his head goodbye, taking a few steps back with his smile before he turns his back to walk away. 

After a moment of watching him, another cool breeze reminds you of one more thing. 

“Oh, Joel!” You call after him quietly. “I still have your jacket,” you start to shrug it back off your shoulders, but he puts his hand up, “Keep it. For tonight. I’ll get it back tomorrow.” That smile still perks his cheeks, and, despite his… manliness, he’s so cute. Staring again, you make yourself reply, “…Thank you, Joel.” He nods again, then turns, and you are still having to put concentrated effort into looking away to get yourself up the tree and back into your room. 

Obviously, you sleep with the jacket on, and have some of the finest rest you’ve ever had, and your dreams, blessedly, and unavoidably, are of Joel. 

[kayena1]

Chosen|pt6

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She laid there for a while. Thinking. She wanted to know why was she so hurt by them. She had laid there for the whole day. Lay’ra didn’t want to get up. When her mother wakes it their marui she glanced at her daughter worriedly.

“Daughter? Why are you lying there is something wrong?” Ronal knew that something must be bothering her daughter. Lay’ra was an energetic child. She never went to bed on her own will.

Ronal got closer to her daughter and kneeled beside her, pushing a stand of her hair behind her ear and then placing a hand on her head.

“I don’t know why I am upset with sully. I thought I was okay after so long, but I…” She teared up her ears pressing against her head.

“It’s okay. They hurt you it’s okay to be upset with them. It’s okay to be hurt. After all that kind of wounds don’t heal as quickly as physical ones” She said stroking her daughter’s head.

“I am here so don’t worry.” Lay’ra’s ears were down and her nose was scrunched up. She bit her lip and moved to hug her crouching mother’s waist burying her head to her side.

Tonowari walked in seeing Ronal with her daughter hugging on the ground. Worry immediately spread through his chest. He quickly went to both of them and kneeled down placing one hand on Ronal’s head and the other on Lay’ra’s. Ronal leaned in to his touch looking at him with a sad expression. And he understood. They stayed like that for a while until it was time for communal dinner.

Lay’ra didn’t want to move from her spot. The talk with Jake drained her emotionally. She wasn’t even hungry.

“Daughter. Let’s go eat.” Tonowari spoke up. Lay’ra shook her head no.

Both parents knew that there was no way they could change her mind. She was stubborn. No matter how they tried it never worked, not even when she was younger.

“Will you eat if I bring it here?” Tonowari asked again. He won’t let his daughter starve, even for a second, never.

Lay’ra nodded her head. Ronal gently pushed her daughter to lay down on the ground and stood up. She will attend communal dinner while Tonowari will stay by Lay’ra’s side.

Ronal silently nodded at Tonowari and he also stood up. They both went to the communal dinner. Ronal sat on the ground in the sand. Taking a leaf with fish she took the bones out and put some fruit on it. Then she handed it to Tonowari who was standing.

Tsireya and Ao’nung looked at their father and mother confused. Where was their sister?

Ronal seeing their confused faces looked at them as if saying I’ll tell you later.

The Sully family watching this was also confused where she was. Jake who was sitting looked up at Tonowari.

“Where is Lay’ra?” He asked. Tonowari turned around ready to walk away.

“She’s tired she won’t be joining, we will talk about your outburst later” He replied to the male sully.

Jake lowered his head in shame, his ears pinned to his head. He knew that Lay’ra was not coming because she didn’t want to see him. Neytiri looked at Jake confused. What does that mean?

Tonowari walked back to the marui. In his hands the food that Ronal had given him. As he entered the marui he saw his daughter lying on the floor. In the same position they left her in. He walked to her side and sat on the ground. Tonowari put the leaf with food on the ground and pulled his daughter on his lap.

Lay’ra snuggled to his side. He did this when she had nightmares after arriving at the village. Like Ronal holding/hugging her while feeding her being their thing. Tonowari pulling his daughter on his lap and feeding her was their own thing they do.

(It’s a bond between father and daughter nothing more!)

He took the leaf with the food and placed it on her knees. Taking small portions in his fingers he gently fed it to her. Tonowari knew it was hard for his daughter to see the ones that brought back such bad memories.

Lay’ra laid her head against her father’s chest. Every time she saw Jake or Neytiri she would feel sick in her stomach. The fact that as a tsakrem she had to teach them both was also difficult. She would have to see them tomorrow and she didn’t want it.

Time passed quickly, her mother and siblings returned. Ronal quickly going to her daughter’s side. Tonowari placed Lay’ra on the ground and sat beside her. Tsireya and Ao’nung also went to their sister. Looking over their parent’s shoulders.

They didn’t leave her. She rested. Even if it seemed like the wounds have healed it seems it really didn’t.

Ronal and Tonowari layed on either side of Lay’ra. Tsireya layed on her fathers side looking at her sister, while Ao’nung did the same on his mothers side. They stayed like this until they fell asleep.

Meanwhile in the sully marui Jake was lying on his back, Neytiri laying her head on his chest. She tilted her head to look at his face.

“What is wrong?” She asked her mate.

“I messed up” He answered.

Their children were already asleep. Only the two of them wide awake.

“Today I angered her, I made her upset. Brought back the memories she didn’t want to remember” He wanted to rewind the time and keep his mouth shut but that is not possible.

Neytiri looked at her hand that was placed beside her head. She clenched it into a fist. She wanted to apologise, to communicate, to see her. She wanted to mend that broken relationship but was it too late?

“Give her time. It’s our fault for hurting her. It’s our fault for tormenting her. This is our punishment. Bear with it, she had it worse” She closed her eyes. Soon sleep took over them and the night passed peacefully.

———————————————————————

Please feel free to comment. If you have any ideas you want to see in the fanfic leave a comment and I’ll see if I can make it come true💗

Part 7

[aleksanderscult]

Analyzing "Demon in the Wood" (book) - Part 1

(Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 and Part 5)

Apparently you seemed to really want this (and so did I 😏) so here is the first part of me analyzing one of the best and, simultaneously, most heartbreaking books in the Grishaverse.

I'll analyze the Graphic Novel after I finish with the book.

(Warning ⚠️: get the tissues)

This book got depressing from the first page.

It's really sad that Eryk (I'm going to call him Eryk in this meta) already knows that neither otkazat'sya nor Grisha will ever accept them. They are unnatural even to the Grisha. Something to be feared and held in a distance. They have powers themselves, they are Grisha. But their rarity makes them both prized and frightening. They cannot truly belong even with their own people.

He already feels like an outcast at his thirteen. And it makes him bitter, sad and lonely.

That kid has been physically and emotionally ruined. Remember, that all these injuries are a result of him trying to make friends.

What....

If I were him, I would have three panic attacks, two breakdowns, six outbursts of tears and screams and then I would be knocked out for a week. ☠️

And that boy managed to lie convincingly after an attempted murder against him. He's a natural.

A result of him lying his whole life about:

1) his name

2) his parentage

2) where he came from

4) and all the other things I can't remember now

He has been lying his whole life so much that it comes out naturally to him.

Imagine how frightened he was from that attack to scream and yell so much to the point that his voice was almost gone.

(THIS BOOK IS AN EMOTIONAL WRECKAGE WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE THE IDEA TO DO THIS--)

It's so sweet how he calls her "Madraya" 🥺 (for those who don't know, it means "mom", "mommy"😭)

It's also sad (the word "sad" is going to be used 29383 times for this meta) how he doesn't allow himself to feel vulnerable and affectionate with his mother like the little boy he is. He wants to. But can't. Baghra keeps telling him how tough he must be (fuck that honestly 😒). But even ourselves feel the need to seek the comfort of our mother or father sometimes. For them to hug us and tell us it's alright. And Eryk feels that too but can't express it and just represses it. 😔

HE ONLY WANTED TO PLAY

To play with his new friend, become carefree and have fun. To know how these feelings feel like for once. To become the child he is and go on an adventure!

But that joy was taken from him.

Now he feels ashamed. What will his mother think of him? A foolish child that went off to play. That's not what she taught him at all. He gave in to his boyish desires and he feels embarrassed for it. No child should feel like that honestly. 😔

As much as I don't like Baghra exactly, this is badass. That look must have been deadly af.

JUST HUG THAT POOR BABY FOR GOD'S SAKE OR I WILL!!

Seriously, I know Baghra had a difficult life and all. But would it hurt you if you hugged him just once??

I bet that lack of physical affection had affected him to the point that he MUST had been touch starved. It's no wonder he kept touching Alina whenever he could. The name reveal scene comes to mind now. When he took her hands and guided them around his waist. He's craving love.🥲

Ah, yes, he also has daddy issues.

He never met his father and his mother refused to even speak of him. Heck, he probably never even had a father figure in his life. And it's not like Baghra said "He was a good man" and all. She talked about him as a meaningless mortal figure that is beneath him. Just a person that is only dust. Not his father.

(Baghra, I'm in your walls for traumatizing our boy🔪)

Can you imagine how many times they had to do that? Him practicing his new name, his new lines every month like a parrot that imitates words? Not only did he not have a home but also people to connect with and a name (his true name) for everyone to know. His whole life he was hiding his true self.

Anyway, that's all Tumblr allows me to write for now. We will continue in part 2, babes 💛

[princekirijo]

Akechi is a parasite because he's starting to grow on me again.

[popi-the-fatui]

CHILDE BF HCs

(that no one asked for but here they are anyways)

A/N: this man needs some luv. Long post, there is a whole iceberg under the “read more”. Also, I tried to keep a Gender Neutral reader so pls DM me if there are any mistakes!!

TW: DESCRIPTION OF AN ANXIETY ATTACK, SPOILERS FOR THE REX LAPIS QUEST AND CHILDE’S PAST, a little bit of angst

🐋 Let’s bust some myths first: contrary to popular belief, Childe has no experience at relationships or intimacy at all. Non. Cero. The Venn diagram of romantic/intimate stuff and things Childe has done is a void. But it’s not that he doesn’t want to, it’s just that he hasn’t had the time to experience any of these things because he is a busy man: between fighting, training and being a Harbinger, there is not a minute left for him to indulge in other things. 

🐋 The problem with this is that Tartaglia is a people’s person. He WANTS to be able to have someone that he can do these things with. At the end of the day, when he comes home tired after a mission, all he wants is someone to be waiting for him with cuddles, hugs, kisses, reassurance, caresses, or just a simple “how did your day go?” Because of this, he has a lot of pent-up love that he has not been able to give. 

🐋 In that note, he is also incredibly touch-starved: not only does he want someone to give that love to, but Childe also craves to receive it. When was the last time he was touched by someone in a context that was not a fight? He loves fighting, obviously: he has trained for a big part of his life to be able to defeat everything and everyone. But he is also just a human, and there are limits to how long a person can go without a loving touch. 

🐋 So when he finally falls victim to the first signs of infatuation, this poor whale man will have an internal battle: do I reach for them? Would they be better off if they never meet me? Will they accept me? Has my reputation already ruined this for me before it even began? How do I approach them? Do I look presentable? Am I going to scare them away? Childe will be torn between wanting to protect you from himself (as the Fatui business is not an easy pill to swallow for everyone) and protect himself from you (his heart would not handle rejection/disgust very well), and wanting to KISS YOU AND HUG YOU AND KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU BECAUSE ARGH WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO ADORABLE.

🐋 So he finally decides to compromise between these two stances, and let YOU decide whether you want him as a friend, a lover or a stranger. He starts greeting you whenever he sees you in the streets, subtly asking if you would like him to join you in your commissions, inviting you for lunch/dinner after a mission so you can recharge your energy, asking if you want to go and share drinks with him and Zhongli. You know, friendly stuff friends do. And he doesn’t even try to hide the happy smile that escapes him whenever you say yes to him: when it comes to you, there is nothing he needs to hide. Well, except for that one thing. 

🐋 He knows that you know he is somehow associated with the Fatui, if his constant trips to the Northland Bank aren’t enough to tell. Usually, Childe dislikes going around things as he much rather hit straight to the point (being the point a fight, a deal or just a simple conversation). But he has grown so addicted to the sensations you make him feel that he can’t help but to try to postpone that tiny little detail about himself for later. He has never had anyone who genuinely wants to spend time with him and that can keep up with him. Childe knows he can be quite intense and that rumors about him aren’t really rumors but WARNINGS, and to finally have someone, even if you’re just friends, that is actively trying to get to know the real him means so much, and he doesn’t want to let that go as selfish as he knows it is because there’s a chance you could get hurt (emotionally and physically). 

🐋 Unfortunately for him, everything that goes up must go down, and that fateful day comes when his plans to take Rex Lapis’ Gnosis blows back to him. After that brief, tense conversation with La Signora and Zhongli, Childe’s ego can’t be any lower: it’s not often that he loses, and much less often that he loses while feeling like a fool. He wants to scream, fight, punch, kick. Anything to take out the impotence and anger he is feeling right now. 

🐋 You found him in this state while you were looking for him to see if he was alright because a WHOLE ASS PALACE JUST FELL FROM THE SKY and you’re very concerned for him as you haven’t had any news directly from him and all you know is that apparently Childe was the cause of it?

🐋 As soon as he sees you, his blood-lust disappears and he no longer wants to fight something: he wants to cry from shame. Shame at being found in this state. Shame at failing. Shame at what you would think of him now that the cat’s out of the bag because from the look in your face is EVIDENT that now you know how far his relationship with the Fatui goes. 

🐋 He falls to the ground, tears finally coming out and he is crying ugly sobs while hiccuping nonsense about how he is a weak, pathetic, disgusting failure and it’s not fair it’s not FAIR IT’S NOT FAIR IT’S NOT-

🐋 “Look at me” you softly call to him, but he is panicking and hyperventilating and not responding to anything that’s outside of his head, so you decide to sit on your knees in front of him, gently cupping his face with your hands, caressing his tears away with your thumbs. 

🐋 “Childe, look at me. Please?” You try again, carefulness in your tone as to not startle him. And when he finally reacts and looks up, you don’t see Tartaglia the 11th Harbinger, nor Childe the fatui flirt. All you see is a broken man that carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, exhausted from constantly fighting against everything the world has thrown at him, and your heart aches for him and wonders how long this man has suffered alone, how long has he suffered in silence. 

🐋 “It’s okay, Childe. You’re okay. Can you breathe for me?” You position yourself behind him and put your hands on his shoulders, rubbing circles with your fingers to further calm him. “Breath with me, yeah just like that. Now hold it for a bit and then release it. Keep going, I’ll do it with you. I’m here”

🐋 Childe finds himself finding it easier to breathe with each inhale and exhale, and when he is finally going down from his high, catharsis hits him HARD. Is this what he has been missing all of his life? Is releasing all that pent-up frustration supposed to feel this good? And he feels a little selfish, because he knows he doesn’t deserve your comfort after the stunt he pulled, but Childe can’t help but become putty under your tender touches and your soft words, and he wishes for a different context, for a different past in which he never fell into the abyss, never joined the Fatui, never felt that the only way to survive was to fight. Instead, he wishes for a past in which he is traveling because he wants to, and he meets you, and he courts you and makes your cheeks heat up at something he said. And you are not touching him because he had a panic crisis that he himself caused. No, he imagines the both of you after a dinner date in Liyue. The sky is dark and the stars are shining but the streets are still full of people laughing and talking and the light from the lamps are reflecting beautifully in your hair. You are walking near the harbor, and you are holding his hand and he is giving you a kiss on your forehead because he can’t help himself. In another life, he would have found you and loved you the way you deserve and the way he needs. 

🐋 But he knows that now is too late, and all he has left is a mind full of regret because he did, in fact, hurt you. How could you trust him after this? How could you WANT him after this? So imagine his surprise when the first thing that comes out of your mouth is a soft “Are you ok now, Childe?”

🐋 “I- how- what?” He mutters in disbelief. Why are YOU asking HIM that? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

🐋 “You had me very worried back there. I thought you would stop breathing at any moment. You are not hurt, are you?”

🐋 And he laughs. A high-pitched, almost maniac laugh. “You know I was the cause of all of…” he says, moving his arms to signal, well, everywhere “...this, right? I believe you now must know what my real business in Liyue was, and that I’m not just some random Fatui officer”

🐋 “Well… I kind of suspected it? How many ‘random Fatui officers’ are carrying a Vision, huge amounts of Mora and have so many ‘meetings’ at the Northland Bank with the Qixing themselves? I mean, I didn’t know you were a Harbinger, but I did know that you were a higher up in the organization. I’m not dumb, you know?” you answer light-heartedly. 

🐋 “Then why would you keep hanging out with me? If you knew all of that, then you for sure must have known that people tend to keep me in a ‘do not trust’ list. People are wary around me, and they should! If you knew of the things I’ve seen, the things I’ve DONE. The reputation surrounding the Fatui, especially the Harbingers, wasn’t built on nothing, you know?”

🐋 “Don’t get me wrong. I do have somewhat of an idea of the things you do for a living. And let me be clear: I certainly do not condone it. And to be honest, I know that things between us would be easier if you weren’t a Fatui and I actually wish you weren’t one” you can feel how his whole body deflated at that, and even if you are sitting behind him, you just know he has a pout on his face, so you resolve for hugging him from behind and rest the side of your face between his shoulder blades, and continue. 

🐋 “But in the past weeks, I also had the opportunity to get to know you. Not Fatui you. But human you. I know that you have a family that you love very much and you do everything in your power to protect them. I know that you haven’t had it easy, and that some scars you have still hurt. I know that you absolutely can’t eat with chopsticks, but your pride refuses to give up and you try anyway. I know that you’re a passionate man that holds his dearest people close to his heart. I know that you hate when I’m sad so you’re willing to make a fool of yourself if that means I’ll end up laughing. I know how you wait outside of my building until my window lights up after you get me home so you are sure nothing happened to me. I know by the way you sometimes disassociate from the world around you that you are thinking of home and returning to your family” as you speak, you feel something wet falling on your upper arms, and realize that Childe is silently crying. You have half a mind to stop, but you also know that he needs to hear this, so you tighten your hug a little in reassurance. 

🐋 “I also know that whenever I see you with a new wound, I can’t help but worry for you and my first instinct is to check if you are okay. I’m now familiar with the way my heart skips a beat whenever I get to see one of your genuine smiles, especially when the reason behind them is that you get to spend some time with me. I know my eyes soften when I see you talking about something you’re passionate about. The truth is, I care for you, Childe. I really do, Fatui or not. Harbinger or not. And yes, while I would rather you not be one, I still can’t help but long for your company because you make me happy. Because I love you. So don’t underestimate me. I’m strong and so are my feelings. You being a Fatui is not gonna change that”. After this, you two sit in silence for a few minutes, but it’s not an awkward one despite your confession. You know he is gathering his thoughts so you move one of your arms that is wrapped around Childe’s torso to card your fingers through his hair, mindful of the knots that had appeared after the battle. If he doesn’t believe your words, then you sure hope he trusts your actions. 

🐋 Childe is the one who breaks the silence when he asks “How could you possibly love someone like me?”. If you weren’t sitting that close to him, you wouldn’t have heard it. He says this so softly, so gently, almost as if he was trying to convince himself and not you. 

🐋 “Silly boy” you laugh warmly. “Did you hear anything I just said?” You ruffle his hair, and finally, FINALLY, you can hear him giggle a little. “You don’t get to decide who I love. That’s my choice, and I choose to love you”

🐋 No kisses were shared that day. No grand, magnificent romantic gestures were made. Only the silent promise of two young lovers to love and cherish each other as they were. And maybe, just maybe, you could work things out, together, to build yourselves a brighter future. 

🐋 So after all has been said and done: congrats! You are now the proud s/o of Teyvat’s biggest simp. 

🐋 Childe is your number one fan. Everything you do is carefully recorded in his mind for later use. He has to go on a mission away from you? Be prepared to be pampered and being taken on several dates the previous week so this clingy man has something to hold on to. 

🐋 Also: he is shameless. He will not be afraid of making out with you in plain daylight on a busy street. But fear not! If you happen to not be a fan of PDA, he will try to be low-profile. You are, afterall, a person he treasures and can’t live without, so your comfort comes before his needs. Now, I say “try” because he will still demand to hold your hand and give you the random kiss on your cheek. 

🐋 HUGS. FROM. BEHIND. Watch him giving you hugs like Oprah. You are buying something? Cooking? Chilling? Expect to feel a pair of long limbs wrapping from behind you in a tight hug like a koala. It’s his hourly vibe check. 

🐋 Very jealous and protective of you. He is very afraid that one day you’ll realize there are plenty of people better than him and you’ll leave him, so please remind this simp that he is more than enough for you. 

🐋 He also has nightmares from the time he spent in the abyss and will take sometime for him to realize that he is no longer there, so give him a few minutes for him to come to his senses and then please for the love of the Tsaritsa cuddle the life out of him. Also on this note, I have the headcanon that he prefers being the little spoon. That, or facing each other and he rests his face in the crook of your neck while leaving little pecks there. 

🐋 Also you discover, to your surprise and as stated at the beginning , that this man has absolutely no idea how to do relationships. To compensate for this and to give you only the best of the best (as you deserve), he spends time in his travels to read romantic novels to have an idea of what to do, so don’t be surprised if he says or does something corny or cringey. 

🐋 The most chaotic “meet the family” you’ll ever have. As soon as he takes you to Snezhnaya, you will have all of his siblings running and tackling you into a bear hug (he sends A LOT of letters to his family about you and if you read them you would not be sure if he is talking about you or a deity).

🐋 He also tries to keep you out of anything regarding the Fatui. It’s a relief that you finally know about how deep his person runs in the organization, but he also wants to spare you from the details of what he does unless something is really bothering him. 

🐋 All in all, this golden retriever is your biggest hype man and the most loyal boyfriend. You will never get bored with Childe, as everyday is an adventure with him and he will make sure you to make you as happy and loved as you make him feel.

[lucky-katebishop]

What I Read in September 2021

It's been a stagnant month, but I did find a couple favorites :) as usual, composed of mainly Harry Potter fics but there's a spare Modern Family fic in there and a couple crossovers. I think I read about 27-28 fics :)

Harry Potter

Family Relations by OxfordOctopus

Plot: In which Harry realizes that not even he's exempt from how interconnected magical families are.

Characters: Harry, Pavarti, Hermione, Ron

Relationships: Hermione & Harry & Ron

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Desi Potter Family; Desi Harry; Hogwarts third year; red-haired Harry Potter

*complete*

Talking to Thestrals by OxfordOctopus

Plot: In a world where Voldemort well and truly died in ‘81, where there are no Horcruxes, where Harry is sequestered off by a man in a flying motorcycle when he's six, and where the only legacy the most feared Dark Lord left behind was his politics and a heavily scarred child, nobody quite realizes that Harry isn’t okay. Nobody but the leathery creatures at the lake, and the girl who looks at them.

Characters: Harry, Luna

Relationships: Harry & Luna

Warnings: anxiety, dissociation, suicidal thoughts, bullying, implied/referenced child abuse, child neglect

Tags: Sirius Black Criticism; Hogwarts second year; Sirius Black Never Went to Azkaban; AU - No Voldemort;

My Notes: Now, I love Sirius just as much as the next girl, but this is such an interesting look at a man raising a kid when he wasn’t ready and the consequences of that (I relate a tad too strongly)

*complete*

Slytherin Politics by OxfordOctopus

Plot: Abused children don't respond well to power plays.

Characters: Harry, Draco, Theodore Nott, Daphne Greengrass

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence

Tags: violence, broken bones, Slytherin Harry, bullying

My Notes: Harry is so truly terrifying in this fic, it’s wonderful

*complete*

rotten on the inside by cassiopeia721

Plot: Harry's boggart isn't Voldemort, or even a dementor. It's something much worse.

Characters: Harry, Snape, Hermione, Ron

Relationships: Hermione & Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Hogwarts third year; boggarts; angst; protective Hermione; Hermione is a Good Friend

*complete*

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell by IamShadow21

Plot: Questions asked, questions unasked, secrets told and secrets kept, trust, devotion, empathy and love. Ron and Harry's friendship, from that first day on the Hogwarts Express, right through until after the Battle. Can be read as a friendship fic, or a ship fic. It's open to interpretation.

Characters: Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Hermione, Arthur

Relationships: Harry/Ron

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: canon compliant; canon-typical violence; friendship, hurt/comfort; protective Ron; Protective Fred; Protective George; gen or pre-slash; platonic cuddling; POV Ron

My Notes: now this could be read as pre-slash, as a relationship, or just good friends, but I am so completely head over heels in love with the idea of Harry and Ron! Best friends to lovers!

*complete*

Best Served Cold by enchantedsleeper

Plot: “C’mon, Freddie,” George says suddenly, sotto voce. “Sooner the four of us get out of here, the better.” It hadn’t been the right moment, as they were exploring the Dursleys’ comfortable house in the dead of night, to plant a well-timed trick or a trap and risk blowing the whole operation – and getting Harry into even more trouble with his sadistic relatives. Better just to get Harry out and away from that place. But two years later, Fred and George got their chance for revenge.

Characters: Harry, Fred, George, Ron, Arthur

Relationships: Harry & Ron; Harry & George & Fred

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Book 4; Harry is an honorary Weasley

*complete*

east, west, home’s best by taizi

Plot: You can never have too many brothers, Ron decides, for the very first time in his life. And there's always room in the Burrow for another Weasley, even if only an honorary one.

Characters: Harry, George, Ron, Fred

Relationships: Harry & Ron

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Chamber of Secrets; families of choice

*complete*

live for today, hope for tomorrow by Vennat

Plot: Professors are Hogwarts are a little more observant and a little less likely to allow their students to be in harms way. OR A canon rewrite starting from book two, featuring friendship, angst, and a severe lack of oblivious characters.

Characters: Hermione, Harry, Ginny, Ron, Luna, Fred, George, Snape, Draco

Relationships: Hermione & Harry & Ron; Harry & George & Fred; Harry & Ginny; Luna & The Golden Trio; Harry & Snape; Draco & Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse; PTSD; panic attacks; blood; vomit; injury; food issues; depression

Tags: friendship; Harry has a saving people thing; mentor Snape; BAMF Harry; Smart Harry; canon rewrite; angst; Dumbledore bashing; Book 2; Harry is a Good Friend; Harry is Bad at Feelings

*complete* [part of a series; hasn’t been updated since 2020]

The Closest Distance Between Two People by StartledStarfish

Plot: In Harry's third year, no dementors boarded the Hogwarts Express in search of Sirius Black. Remus Lupin, the new defense professor, slept the whole way there. He did not wake to cast a patronus. Harry never passed out. Never heard his mother scream. Never saw the flash of green light. Never felt the unspeakable cold drain all the happiness out of him. So when Harry’s turn came to face the boggart, his greatest fear could not be a dementor. Harry blinked and looked up into the smiling face of Albus Dumbledore.

Characters: Harry, Ron, Remus, Dumbledore, Vernon, McGonagall

Relationships: Harry & Ron; Harry & Remus

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse; childhood trauma, child neglect

Tags: boggarts, dementors, Dursley Family Bashing; Dumbledore Bashing; healing; angst with a happy ending; Ron makes sure nobody’s sad for long; friendship; laughter

*complete*

Grey Space by noaacat *favorite*

Plot: In 1991, Harry Potter begins his time at Stonewall High, unaware that he is anything more than a boy prone to freakish accidents. When he turns fourteen, he will receive a letter that will change his life. He will learn he is Harry Potter, and be invited into a world where belonging is his birthright. Until then, he stumbles on, two steps forward and one step back, out of the cupboard and into the life he was never meant to have.

Characters: Harry, The Dursleys, Dumbledore, lots of muggle OCs

Relationships: none

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse; implied/referenced homophobia; child abuse; child neglect

Tags: AU: Hogwarts Starts Late

My Notes: This one! Is so good! The worldbuilding alone is amazing and the author really did make me immersed in the small sleepy town of Little Whinging. Please, if you read any fic on this list, read this one! It’s so good! Instant favorite!

*complete*

Iron by belleslettres

Plot: Draco also has a penchant for shirts with fiddly collars and cuffs and will not even entertain the notion of going anywhere looking like anything less than perfection. But Harry, who will do almost anything for Draco, refuses to iron them. “My aunt used to make me do all the ironing,” Harry says. “I hated it.”

Characters: Harry, Draco

Relationships: Draco/Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: fluff and angst; post-war; Epilogue what Epilogue; fluff; domestic fluff

*complete*

All That Stands in its Path by thebiwholived

Plot: "An old soul, people might say, and Molly has never quite been sure what such a person would look like, until the day her family meets the Boy Who Lived in a dingy train station on the way to school." Molly Weasley's perspective on the summer Harry Potter comes to stay.

Characters: Harry, Molly, Weasley Family

Relationships: Harry & Molly Weasley

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: canon compliant; book 2

*complete*

To See More Clearly by JellyShark

Plot: Harry didn't make it out of Privet Drive after blowing up Aunt Marge. He is alone, locked away, forgotten. To make things worse, his magic is changing, morphing into something unknown and terrifying. Harry returns to Hogwarts a changed boy, unable to hide the effects of his time with the Dursleys. His Third Year dawns, bringing with it a man who feels like home, a Hufflepuff Prefect, and a dog who reminds Harry of a time when he was loved.

Characters: Harry, Remus, Ron, Snape, Sirius, Hermione, Luna, Cedric, Neville, McGonagall

Relationships: Sirius/Remus; pre Cedric/Harry; Remus & Harry; Hermione & Ron & Harry; Cedric & Harry; Sirius & Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: Harry Needs a Hug; Harry is an Empath; Smart Harry; Magically Powerful Harry; Mentor Remus; flawed but well-meaning Dumbledore; book 3; book 4; Snape gets worse before he gets better; angst; hurt/comfort

*incomplete* [last updated August 2021]

Holidays by diogxnes

Plot: While his housemates discuss the upcoming holidays, Harry cannot help but think of how he never experienced a real Christmas with the Dursleys. Ron notices.

Characters: Harry, Ron, Lavender Brown, Seamus Finnigan

Relationships: Harry & Ron

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: book 1; missing scene; canon compliant; emotional hurt/comfort; hurt/comfort; Ron Weasley is a Good Friend

*complete*

Closing In by silver_fish

Plot: Harry supposes he’ll never know how they learned about the cupboard under the stairs. He also supposes he’ll never know how they managed to make him so afraid of it, all these years later.

Characters: Harry, Hermione, Ron

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, claustrophobia, implied/referenced torture, codependency, trauma, panic attacks, PTSD, therapy

Tags: post-war; hurt/comfort; touch-starved; guilt; Harry centric; false memories

My Notes: This one made me emotionally exhausted but it’s written super well

*complete*

Adjustments by Velvet_Riptide

Plot: With the Second Wizarding War over, Sirius is more than excited to put everything behind him and raise Harry as his own. However, he and Remus begin to notice odd and troubling behaviors from Harry. Without answers from the source, Sirius turns to Harry's previous guardians--Molly and Arthur Weasley--and learns Harry is still making adjustments from his time with the Dursley's.

Characters: Harry, Sirius, Remus, Molly, Arthur, Hermione, Ron

Relationships: Sirius/Remus; Hermione/Ron; Remus & Harry; Sirius & Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse; childhood trauma; PTSD

Tags: hurt/comfort; coparenting; Harry lived in the Burrow for several years with the Weasleys before moving to 12 Grimmauld Place;

*complete*

Two Things by TheDivineComedian

Plot: Harry is only four years old and the Dursleys are already mean.

Characters: Harry, Petunia, Vernon, Dudley, imaginary Lily, imaginary James

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

*complete*

How to be happy by TheDivineComedian

Plot: The Patronus charm requires a happy memory. Harry Potter doesn't have many, and the Dementors get Sirius, after all. But the story is far from over.

Characters: Harry, Remus, Sirius, Ron, Hermione

Relationships: Harry & Sirius; Harry & Remus; Remus & Sirius

Warnings: major character death; implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: creepy; heartwarming; dementors; Hogwarts third year

My Notes: this one is a fucking doozy good lord (the tags say heartwarming but w h e r e)

*complete*

Knowledge is a Rose by Magi_Silverwolf

Plot: When Harry discovered that he had a name, he clung to that information and all that it entailed. After learning more information about his past, nothing and everything changed.

Characters: Harry

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse; physical abuse; verbal abuse; mental abuse

Tags: emotional hurt; identity issues

*complete*

No Love for the Wicked by VigilanteVampire4311

Plot: Harry Potter was the Boy-Who-Lived. The Golden Boy. The Chosen One. But it turns out when you run head first into an unknown magical artifact and end up in a void, none of that matters. Now he's in a different time with familiar strangers who just can't seem to understand the new transfer student, Harrison Miller. With a Defense teacher he can't let his guard down for a second around, the Marauders hounding the 'mysterious' new Slytherin, and his housemates who cannot fathom a muggleborn being among them, Harry has to wonder whether fate hates him or if he is really a trouble-making freak like the Dursleys always said.

Characters: Harry, James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Regulus, Snape, Tom Riddle, Pomfrey

Relationships: Harry & James; Harry & Lily; Sirius & Harry; Remus & Harry; Regulus & Harry; Harry & Tom Riddle; Pomfrey & Harry

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence; implied/referenced child abuse; possessive behavior; depression; non-consensual touching

Tags: The Veil; Slytherin Harry; Marauders are kinda assholes; Tom Riddle is not Voldemort yet; Severus is so done; alternate universe; angst; hurt/comfort; bullying; time travel; Marauders Era

My Notes: so far with 7 chapters in, we haven’t yet gotten to Harry interacting with anyone from the past but it’s still written really well

*incomplete* [last updated September 2021]

The snake in the daffodils by SpicyReyes *favorite*

Plot: Harry follows Sirius through the Veil of Death, and stumbles out on the other side of the Mirror of Erised, under a strange spell and stranded in an unfamiliar Hogwarts.

Characters: Harry, Remus, Regulus, Harry, Ron, James, Lily, Sirius

Relationships: Regulus/James; Sirius/Remus; Draco/Harry

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence; discussions of suicide; discussions of self-harm; suicidal ideation; implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: universe jumping; Hogwarts fifth year; misunderstandings; miscommunication; basically everyone thinks harry wants to die but he is actually just hella confused

My Notes: so, so good! And if you like this one I recommend The Devil’s White Knight which is really similar in concept

*incomplete* [last updated 2020]

been waiting a lifetime (to be with you) by justprompts

Plot: The next time he woke, Potter was shaking him awake. Just, just not the right one. He had hazel eyes for one, and class. This was not Harry Potter. This was - Well, he had just woken up and who accepts the delightfully altering time-related facts of life right as they wake up?

Characters: Harry, Dumbledore; Peter Pettigrew; Prewett Twins; Marlene McKinnon; Sirius; Remus; Lily; James; Draco; Alice & Frank Longbottom; Regulus; Draco

Relationships: Draco/Harry; James/Lily; Sirius/Remus; Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadows; Alice/Frank Longbottom; Regulus & Sirius; Regulus & Draco

Tags: time travel fix-it; Marauders Era; Horcrux hunting; everyone lives/nobody dies; master of death Harry; light-hearted; POV multiple; Harry doesn’t need to be dark/evil to be master of death; irregular and slow updates; mutual pining

*incomplete* [last updated May 2021]

The Gospel Truth by twentysevensummers

Plot: When Harry arrives at Number Twelve Grimmauld Place with a black eye, he has more trouble than expected keeping the truth from Sirius.

Characters: Harry, Sirius, Remus

Relationships: Sirius & Harry

Warnings: referenced/implied child abuse; child neglect

Tags: book 5; hurt/comfort; angst; Harry needs a hug; good godparent Sirius Black; number 12 grimmauld place

*complete*

o children, lift up your voice by orphan_account

Plot: "i don't know if they could've put a flap in the door of the cupboard, now that i think about it," harry laughs nervously. "dunno if it would've fit onto it. since it's smaller than the bedroom door." hermione and ron's heads both shoot up. "what?" ron asks. "excuse me?" hermione says.

Characters: Harry, Ron, Hermione

Relationships: Hermione & Harry & Ron

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: friendship; slight canon divergence; character study; second war with Voldemort; physical affection; lots of hugs

My Notes: this one is so good and if you can get past the fact that the author doesn’t capitalize anything, you’re good to go (although it was difficult to get past that at first for myself)

*complete*

Muggle Management by LadyWinterlight, NerdyKat

Plot: What happens if Hermione notices signs of abuse in Harry during first year? The Wizarding World may not have laws against it, but the Muggle World certainly does...

Characters: Harry, Hermione, Mrs Granger, Mr. Granger

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: family

*complete*

Harry Potter & Other Fandoms

Masked Men and Where to Find Them by tinyrose65

Fandoms: Harry Potter & Daredevil & MCU

Plot: Harry Potter moved to Hell's Kitchen because she wanted a fresh start: time away from the spotlight, where she could focus on being the best Healer she could be. Trust the unconscious man in her dumpster to go and complicate things.

Characters: Harry, Matt Murdock

Relationships: Harry/Matt; past Harry/Draco

Warnings: past domestic abuse; implied/referenced child abuse

Tags: female!Harry

My Notes: this is the first in a series and the second one is also incomplete but they’re both very good and the second one has Jessica Jones!

*incomplete* [last updated 2016]

Magic and Masks by Akoia

Fandoms: Harry Potter & DC Comics

Plot: Harry Potter is anything but normal, thank you very much, he just didn't hold such nonsense as that. Follow him on his adventures through the Wizarding world and muggle world as he struggles to understand who he is, and fight the destiny that's been chosen for him.

Characters: Harry; Dick Grayson; Jason Todd; Bruce Wayne; Alfred Pennyworth; the Dursleys

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse; canon typical violence

Tags: fluff and angst

My Notes: this is a series with six parts!

*incomplete* [last updated 2020]

Modern Family

Breaking & Entering: (The Start Of) A Love Story by dollsome

Plot: "Oh my God," Mitchell says, "this is insane." It is, for the record. It is actually ... insane.

Characters: Mitchell, Cameron

Relationships: Mitchell Pritchett/Cameron Tucker

Warnings: none

Tags: none

*completed*

[ao3feed-hitoshi-shinsou]

I could have done it on my own.

I could have done it on my own. by ThePlanetSaturn

Katsuki's mom and dad got a divorce, and he stayed with his mom and her new boyfriend. This new boyfriend started out nice, but as they stay together, they get more abusive towards Katsuki. Katsuki is too ashamed to ask for help, and only gets it when its forced upon him by people who actually care about him.

or, Katsuki is quiet, hurting, and confused. Here comes a sleep deprived kid with purple hair determined to help him, they get together and whateva, dadzawa and mama Inko find out whats going on in his house. Unhinged Inko and zawa pull him out of that real quick.

Words: 2085, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: M/M

Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Bakugou Mitsuki, Bakugou Katsuki's Family, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Shinsou Hitoshi, Midoriya Izuku, Kirishima Eijirou, Midoriya Inko, Class 1-A, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Kayama Nemuri | Midnight, U.A. Faculty, Original Male Character(s)

Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Shinsou Hitoshi

Additional Tags: Angst, Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Bad Touch, Touch-Starved Bakugou Katsuki, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead Adopts Shinsou Hitoshi, Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Child Neglect, Violence, Soft Bakugou Katsuki, Bakugou Katsuki is a Good Friend, Bakugou Katsuki Needs a Hug, Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, Bakugou Katsuki Has Feelings, Bakugou Katsuki & Midoriya Izuku are Best Friends, can you tell i like bakugou katsuki, Shinsou Hitoshi Replaces Mineta Minoru, Shinsou Hitoshi is a Good Significant Other, Shinsou Hitoshi is Good at Feelings, Running Away, Not Beta Read, we die on this hill, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, ill add tags as i go, trying to handle everything on your own, no help will be asked it will be forced, Midoriya Inko Adopts Bakugou Katsuki, Good Parent Midoriya Inko, BAMF Midoriya Izuku, BAMF Midoriya Inko, too many tags lol, Bakugou Mitsuki's Bad Parenting, Abusive Bakugou Mitsuki, Bakugou Katsuki has PTSD, Nightmares, bakugou mitsuki has a boyfriend

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39547260

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

My Benrey Backstory

Okay, so I thought I might as well lay it all out. Be careful about reading this, because it will contain some DARK DARK shit. Just for that I’ll put a chance for you to opt out without seeing it. 

Still reading? Okay :D

It started when Benrey was what could be considered an infant on Xen. He didn’t look nearly as humanoid as he does when he grew older, and his hair was much more like thick black fur. He looked kind of like a mutated rodent/bug, with several hundred eyes across his fur. He had lived a rather.. adequet existence. He was still alive, purely due to instinct, but had no parents like a normal kid does. He had to learn things by himself. Is it friendly looking? No? Run. While it was similar to a animals way of thinking of things, it was far closer to how a human child would decide things.

Needless to say it wasn’t hard for the scientists to catch him, considering his way of processing threats. Humans aren’t nearly as threatening looking as the creatures on Xen. Maybe he would’ve been lucky if he wasn’t so trusting..

The first about five years of his life were spent mostly in complete isolation. They had started to catch on to his abilities, and had still not completely figured out how to stop him from doing things such as escaping by no-clipping. They still hadn’t figured out the extent of his regen either, so thankfully he wasn’t harmed AS much as he would be later on. He was still experimented on, though. During this time he met Bubby and Tommy for the first time. Tommy was ten years old, and was excited to see another young child. The more Benrey was around Tommy and the other scientists, the more he changed his appearance to be more humanoid. 

Would it not be for Tommy, he probably would’ve gotten taught not to use his sweet voice due to the way the scientists treated it. Tommy trusted Benrey, so much so that he wasn’t scared when Benrey used the sweet voice on him and he quickly realized that it was harmless and convinced the scientists to be lieniant and to let him use his sweet voice without being punished. Tommy really made things better for him, as much as he could. He’d talk to him, give him gifts, and try to make him feel as comfortable as possible. But he was still a ten year old, so he could only do so much...

During the first few years, Benrey tried to initiate hugs a lot or hold the scientists hands like any normal kid but they always jolted back like they got electrocuted. The only time they would touch him was for experiments, and not without gloves and or medical suits on. Tommy gave him all the hugs he could, but he only visited for a few hours a couple of days a week. Eventually Benrey stopped trying, and it led to him being severly touch starved as an adult. 

He learned how to talk from the multiplayer video games Tommy gave him, and that was also how he learned to read. The scientists had no intention of teaching him anything, since he wasn’t human they didn’t deem it necessary. As he grew older, the testing got more severe. They would drug his food to analyze the effects it had on him every week, sometimes multiple times a week. This happened so often that after several months he stopped eating at all, and wouldn’t explain why. Even to Tommy.

During this he had been breaking out to see Gordon and play around, but he was eventually caught and they restricted his powers so he couldn’t leave. After this, also came the pain treatments. 

They did everything you can think of pain wise: holding him under water until he almost blacked out, locking him in hot and cold environments until he passed out, shot him, and cut off his arms; they even performed vivisections on him without anesthesia. He screamed his lungs out for the first few times, until they figured out a chemical that would prevent him from speaking during the surgery. That way, he couldn’t make noise- but he could still feel everything that was happening. They had to put a muzzle on him or else the sweetvoice would get in the way. He sobbed almost constantly the entire procedure, and for hours afterwards. They never took care of the wounds they inflicted, so his clothes were always covered in blood. His room was covered in dry blood stains, and whenever he came back from the surgeries he’d throw himself onto his bed and sob until he fell unconscious. Otherwise, he never slept. When he used to sleep, they would drug and hurt him or move him somewhere different and he’d wake up strapped to a table with a muzzle on. 

This happened for years. By then he was a teenager and had adapted to his cruel treatment. He went emotionally numb and after years of being called a monster, he started to believe it and accept it as the truth. His regen was incredibly sharp due to the constant injuries he had, but that came to an end when G-Man offered him his freedom for the agreement that he would do as he says or else be returned to his life of being a test subject.

Things got better, for a while. And then the Resonance Cascade happened. When he first saw Gordon he recognized him, even if he had transitioned by then and was now a guy, which is why he annoyed him. But he hadn’t yet had any plans until after the explosion. Much like with Gordon, G-Man had periodic meetings with Benrey instructing him what to do. He layed out his plan to Benrey: he needed to play the bad guy, lead Gordon through black mesa so he could finish the “game”, be the “final boss” in Xen and die. Of course this wasn’t G-Mans only goal: he was setting Benrey up to be assumed dead so that after Xen he could be recaptured and put back into testing without Tommy interfering. 

Benrey came up with the military thing on his own. He thought it would come off as villian-y enough to be excused by G-Man, but honestly he was worried about Gordon and thought that if he was taken by the military he would be away from black mesa and he wouldn’t have to hurt him as the big boss. This, obviously, went horribly wrong. He got slightly defensive about the arm thing, though. He didn’t think it was THAT big of a deal, because he thought Gordon could regrow his limbs like he could. Tommy had to explain him that no, he couldn’t, and that arm was gone forever and Benrey felt AWFUL afterwards. As time went on he just kept doing more and more messed up shit until Gordon hated him by the end. It stung, but he knew it was better for them to hate him so they could kill him easier.

But.. they didn’t. Somehow, through his nonsensical ramblings Gordon got some string of coherence. He knew there was so much more to Benrey, there had to be, and it didn’t help that Benrey wouldn’t shoot at them and seemed to recall such fond memories with him. Gordon connected the dots as to who Benrey was, and the fact that he used to know him, and by that point Benrey was one shot away from a game over. The battle had died down drastically, and he assumed he was going to be dead. It was the only reason he was willing to tell the truth: he thought it didn’t matter, as he was going to die anyways. 

When the cave started falling apart Gordon Niceman couldn’t stand to leave him to be crushed on an alien planet. SURE, he was a dick who got his arm cut off and insulted him regularly but he still was his sort of friend! Plus Tommy would be sad. 

(because he was in denial: benrey definitely fucked up, dude. His actions were shitty, even if considering his situation they were understandable. Just- wanna clarify, he definitely not escaping blame here. He definitely was a shit head, because of the whole “doesn’t give a shit, I’m a petty asshole” thing.) 

When Gordon eventually got this information out of him, once they were living together and all that, a lot of what Benrey did made much more sense. It was heartbreaking to hear that he had such a fucked up childhood. He definitely tried to be more understanding with Benrey, and explain why he was mad knowing Benrey never had any logical discipline. Probably why he’s so childish.

Oh, and it also made Gordon much more physically affectionate. If those bastards thought he was too dangerous to touch, it was their loss. Benrey is a great cuddler.

[lovely-lady-lumps]

Growing Close

Summary: Erik and you grow close as father and daughter like figures

°•○●♡●○•°

It baffles Charles really, that a man who physically and emotionally attacks anyone who dares look at him, became so protective of one of his students. It takes a while of course, it’s not just over night you become a parental figure. It takes two months. It’s a nice process to watch, a long one, but the outcome leaves everyone happy.

  It starts three days after you meet, a dark night when neither of you can sleep. He finds you sitting on the couch in the large living room, knees pulled up to your chest and deep in thought. He expects you to leave as soon as you see him but you don’t move, don’t even twitch when he sits a little close to you. So he leaves you alone, thinking you’re just too spaced out to notice him there, and sips on the tea he brought with him as he reads a book someone left on the side table.

  “Was it a nightmare?” He’s pulled out of his own mind by the question.

  Looking over at you, he frowns. “What?”

  “Did you have a nightmare?”

  He scoffs and lets his eyes drift back down to the pages, taking a sip of his tea. “That’s none of your business.” 

  You’re quiet for a minute before speaking up again. “I did. That’s why I’m in here.”

  He lifts his head and opens his mouth to say something along the lines of “I don’t care” but is stopped by the look on your young face. It’s a haunted look he saw on his-self just last night. He thinks for a second before coming to a decision, closing his book and turning his body towards you.

  “Tell me about it.”  

  And you do, and he listens. You tell him all about the awful memories that replay in your head almost every night. About the terrors you were put through as a child and he can’t help but sympathize with you. Although your stories aren’t the same you’ve been through enough to last a lifetime.

  It’s an unspoken agreement after that to meet in the living room every night, both of you enjoying one another’s company. 

《▪︎¤☆¤▪︎》

  It takes three weeks for Raven to notice the change between you two. 

  You’re sitting on one of the stools at the kitchen island, back leaning against it's edge and facing towards Erik who’s stirring a large pot of soup on the stove. Your legs are swinging back and forth and although you’re 18 years old, you’ve never looked more like a child. Raven and Hank are helping by cleaning off the tables and Charles watches on from his wheelchair. All is nice and calm, the air peaceful for once. 

  Erik steps back from the pot, putting the temperature on low to keep it warm and moving to the cabinets to get the many plastic bowls down. He sets them on the counter and uses his ability to move the spoons from the drawer to place one in each bowl. As soon as he’s done getting ready, you take the opportunity to ask him for a hug. You never have before, knowing he’s not a very affectionate person after his wife and daughter.

  Raven hears a whine like hum and looks up from wiping one of the tables off to see you reaching out for Erik, arms wide open and making grabby hands. She cringes as she waits for the rejection, preparing herself to hug you instead. Her jaw drops when Erik chuckles slightly and pulls you into his chest, rubbing your back in light circles. You sigh into his chest and close your eyes. You yourself haven't let anyone touch you, and you were starved. It’s short but you pull away with a smiles on your faces and he walks away to get the other students, steps lighter as he goes.

  Raven turns to Hank and sees he has the same expression, mouths open and eyes wide. Charles is laughing from his spot and she glares at him.

  “When did that happen?!” She hisses at him.

  “You know, you really aren’t that good at observing are you?” Charles smirks before wheeling away, the other two hot on his tail.

《▪︎¤☆¤▪︎》

  The moment you yourselves notice how close you’ve gotten is on one of those promised nights. Another nightmare keeping you awake and forcing you into the familiar room. You tiptoe your way down the hall, using fuzzy socks to lighten your footsteps so as not to accidentally wake anyone. The room is dim as usual but instead of Erik, it’s Charles who sits next to the couch. He looks up when you walk in and immediately recognizes the large shirt on your body as Erik’s precious turtleneck. He smiles softly at you when you become hesitant in the doorway.

  “You can come in darling, I don’t bite.” He teases.

  You shake your head, “I was looking for Erik.” You speak in a hushed voice.

  It doesn’t surprise him, your mind had been projecting Erik’s name on a mantra.

  “Erik is in his bedroom fast asleep,” he starts. Your face drops in disappointment. “Just be sure to be quiet on your way there.” 

  You smile at him when he looks at you knowingly and let out a quick, “Goodnight Professor.” before walking back down the dark hallway.

  Your feet shuffle across the floor as you get closer to Erik’s door, the large frame slightly intimidating and you almost turn back. But the need to see him overpowers the intimidation and you turn the doorknob, creeping the door open slowly to stop any creaks. When you poke your head in you see him lying in the bed with the covers brought up to his chest and his hair poking in all directions. He’s peaceful enough that you’d feel guilty waking him up and again you almost leave.

  ‘It doesn’t bother him. Trust me.’ Charles’ voice speaks into your head.

'Are you sure?' You ask back.

'Positive. He trusts you, Y/n. Go ahead.'

  You sigh and close the door silently behind you, taking easy steps towards the bed. You bring a knee up and rest it on the mattress making a dip in the cushion that just barely moves Erik’s body. That’s all it takes for him to wake though and his eyes slowly open before he turns his head in your direction to see a sheepish look on your face.

  “Nightmare?” he asks quietly.

  You nod, “I’m sorry.”

  He quickly shakes his head and lifts the covers with one hand, patting the empty space next to him with the other. You climb in next to him and he lays the blankets over you, wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer. He smiles when he notices his shirt on you and thinks of Nina. He thinks of how she used to wear his clothes to bed for comfort and every time she had a nightmare she would climb into bed with him and ask him to sing the lullaby. 

  His hand starts to rub up and down your back in a soothing motion as he starts to sing, the melody slipping out with his raspy voice, tongue moving easily with the German words. His chest rumbles against your cheek in a surprisingly comforting vibration and it aids you in falling back to sleep. It doesn’t take long either, only about halfway through he feels you completely relax against him. He keeps singing though, hand moving to your hair to tuck it behind your ear so he can see your face. The sight makes his heart swell like it hasn’t in a long time. Your mouth is slightly open and eyes moving behind your eyelids in a dream. He leans his face down to kiss the top of your head lightly and pulls back to see your lips twitch into a smile and he closes his eyes with a happy sigh, settling back down into the pillows, slipping into a peaceful sleep.

[kelsiekirbyy-scribbles]

Here's more Dylan headcanons, but they're slightly more child friendly (as "child friendly" as this character can get)

💕Dylan Fuentes SFW Alphabet💕

[Warning: mentions of sex]

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He's very affectionate and can barely keep his hands off of you. It can go from just petting to full on make out sessions

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Lets be honest, you'll most likely start out as a pet and the only way you've stayed alive is by being obedient or flattering your way to his heart

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He loves to cuddle, he's been touch starved for basically his whole life and loves the feeling of holding someone close

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

In Dylan's mind, nobody can really "tame" him and he isn't tied down to one person; but it can be done. It would take a lot of time, patience, and talking but after a while you could potentially call him your boyfriend and he would be fine with it

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

There's really no "breaking up" with this guy in a traditional sense, you'll just get downgraded back to a toy, someone who he can keep around just for sex

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Marriage isn't something he wants to do, even if he loves you dearly

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically? If he isn't showing you affection, then he's performing some kind of bdsm act on you....but will give you aftercare when the deed is done. Emotionally? He's soft. He'll melt at your touch and will swoon from being flirted with. He absolutely loves the attention

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Much like with cuddling, Dylan adores having someone close to him. If his partner is short, he loves picking them up for hugs

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Dylan often mistakes love for lust and cant seem to differentiate between the two, after all it can be assumed he never got love from his parents. However, if his partner constantly expresses their love for him, he'll slowly catch on

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He gets very jealous. The last time someone (nick) came in contact with his pets, they were freed; he can't have his favorite person taken away from him

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He doesn't have as much experience with kissing as much as he does having sex, but he still makes it work. If its mouth kisses you want then his mask would have to come off, its uncomfortable and a bit awkward otherwise

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Dylan is super awkward around kids and actually has no idea what to do around them; his daddy kink really doesn't help and he is just uncomfortable (hell, the kids probably are too)

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Most mornings are spent trying to get out of bed but not being able to because his grip around you is so tight. Your options are: A) attempting to wake the heavy sleeper. Or B) suffering because you're too shy to wake him. On the rare occasion that he wakes up before you, he'll be petting you and planting kisses on your neck; just being an overall creep or cutie depending on how you view it

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Despite the obvious, sometimes you guys just chill on the couch and drink, occasionally telling jokes or sharing stories. Dylan is more of a night owl so expect him to be the most energetic during that time

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Whether he knows it or not, this guy's an open book and will project his feelings onto others. Eventually he will vent to you about his failures in life but at that point you'd pretty much already know everything

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He gets upset easily and at some points he seems like a child throwing a fit. Typically his anger isn't directed at you but it would be obvious if it was; Dylan just vents by having angry sex

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

In this order, these are the things he finds most important to remember:

Your kinks

Your past traumas/mental disorders

Your favorite pet names

The petty arguments you may have

Now of course, he pretty much remembers everything, but he finds these to be the most interesting. You can count on him bringing up some argument y'all had at 2:00 in the morning though, he's gonna tease the hell out of you for it

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The moments when you guys are winding down from having sex and he's giving you aftercare are his favorite times. You both sit on the couch and he has you in his lap, gently kissing your marked up body

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Dylan's super protective, killing any zombies or even survivors you may come in contact with. He would hope you'd do the same for him

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He doesn't worry too much about anniversaries or dates, but he does try to find you a gift every once in a while; whether you like the gift or not is none of his concern, sometimes he just wants you to wear a maid outfit for the hell of it

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Alcohol addiction is something he has a problem with, typically using it to deal with any negative thoughts he doesn't want to think about

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

If he doesn't look attractive, he doesn't want to be seen. He's too worried about looking hot than fighting off zombies

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He'd go on as his usual self, but things would definitely be more depressing than they used to be. He would try not to think about you anymore and would drink heavily to cope

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Judging from the guitar on the second floor, it can be assumed that he's at least competent in playing it

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Someone who wants him to change who he is. Some bad habits/thoughts he could be fine with getting rid of, but he's not changing his perverted and dramatic personality. That's just who he is and if somebody didn't like it then he couldn't care less

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He's usually mumbling in his sleep about something, but its too incoherent to make out anything specific; he denies everything when its brought up

[since0202]

Chapter 25: Clear

Grace had no idea how or when she made it home. The rest of the day was a blur or spent unconscious or spent recasting to the stupid, same old place in the middle of the forest. 

The next conscious moment she recalled with clarity was waking up in her bed to muffled voices: Edward and Bella. The last thing she clearly heard was Bella saying “—tried everything! He’s not answering.” before Edward gently hushed her indicating that Grace was awake. 

She knew they were talking about her but didn’t care and as she drifted off back to sleep, she heard Edward mutter, “We’ll find him.” 

Grace woke the next morning, the day before the fight was expected to happen, and felt oddly lighter. She didn’t feel better, but a weight had lifted off of her. Maybe seeing Paul had been a good thing and she could work on letting him go too. At this thought though, Grace sucked in a painful breath and took her time getting up and out of bed. Too soon. 

Once out of bed, she pulled her long hair out of her face into a presentable ponytail, some jean shorts and a white baggy t-shirt. She headed down the steps to the smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen. As she rounded the corner, Charlie sat at the little dining table finishing his breakfast, decked out in his fishing gear. Sue Clearwater was packing their provisions into a small cooler to take with them on their 2-day trip to Fraser River to get them out of  the area for the fight. Bella was taking no chances. 

Grace leaned against the door frame and crossed her arms watching Bella push a massive amount of scrambled eggs around in the pan. Bacon was cooking on the back stove, she must have cooked an entire slab, the pan was overflowing.  

“Hey,” Grace said in a small voice. 

“Hey! You’re up! Hungry?” Bella gestured to the food. Grace nodded lightly and eyed the pan. 

“That’s a lot of food,” Grace raised an eyebrow. 

“Good, cos I’m starving,” a warm, comforting voice carrying a hint of a smile came from the other side of the kitchen that connected into the living room. 

“Jacob.” Grace whispered, her eyes connecting with his before bounding over to him and crashing her body into his. She wrapped her arms around his upper chest and under his arms like a child hugs an adult, but she didn’t care. Everything had felt so cold since she and Paul had separated and now, warmth rushed through her body causing her to shiver with relief. 

Jacob eagerly wrapped his arms over her shoulders and down around her back, leaning forward to whisper softly in her ear, “You okay?” 

Grace tried so hard to hold it together in that moment but she couldn’t help a sob from escaping her throat. She clasped her hand around her right wrist behind his back and pulled tightly into him, trying to squelch any sounds from escaping her lips with his body. Her tears wetted his dark blue shirt and he just held her there gently swaying her back and forth. 

“You got this?” Charlie put a hand on Jake’s shoulder as he held his tackle box in his other hand. 

“I got this,” Jake said confidently. 

Charlie smoothed Grace’s hair down absently for a moment and then headed toward the door. 

“Have fun!” Bella called behind them.

“We will!” Sue said to the sound of the screen door clapping shut behind them. Grace took deep steady breaths as she continued to hold onto Jake, loosening her grip ever so slightly and laying her left cheek to his clothed chest. Her body had ached so long for that warmth and she felt something in her mending ever so slightly. She didn’t feel whole just yet, but Jake being there took some of the pain off of her that she had tried so hard to release when she saw Paul yesterday. 

“Let’s eat, yeah?” he said and dipped his head to look at her face. She nodded, still breathing heavily, tears having stained her cheeks despite her best efforts. Jacob cupped her right cheek in his hand and wiped the tears with his calloused thumb before giving her a reassuring smile. He walked her over to the kitchen table and she slumped into the chair across from him. Bella set some plates down in front of each of them and spread jam across her toast, taking a seat facing the small window. Grace looked at her food for a second still trying to come back down for her emotional high. Things swam in front of her, her head foggy. 

“Grace, eat.” Jake said before digging in, giving her a worried look. She straightened up a little and moved over her plate, slowly taking bites and sitting back in her chair to chew. When she looked to her right over Bella’s shoulder, Edward was sauntering in. 

“That’s new,” he said, gesturing to Grace eating. “Took you long enough.” He jabbed at Jake. 

Jacob returned the comment with a scathing look. “You know you didn’t have to tackle me. If I’d known I was being summoned, I would have come.” 

“Keep your phone on then and I won’t have to come looking for you next time.” Edward said jovially. 

“Anyways, the plan is to get you two into the mountains. Seth will be there as a guard, but with Bella’s scent placed everywhere in the clearing, it shouldn’t be difficult to keep the vampires there.”

“Wait what?” Grace said, trying to clear the fog in her brain. 

“We need Bella away from the area, but not so far enough away that I can’t get to her if I need to,” Edward replied smoothly. Bella watched Grace’s face carefully. 

“You’ll need to recast you and Bella to the location,” Jake said, staring at her seriously. Grace looked from Edward to Jake. 

“So you’re going to leave her there with Seth?” Grace felt dumb. “No offense but if something were to get to Bella, Seth isn’t the best defense just yet.” 

“You’ll be there to protect her. If danger pops up, you can easily recast her away to another location.” Edward said simply. 

“That doesn’t make any sense. I’ll be in the clearing with everyone else,” the fog persisted but she was slowly coming to a realization. 

“No.” Jake said firmly, “You won’t. We’re not risking you to an army of newborn vampires. You’ll be away, safe in an isolated location with Bella.” 

“The fuck I am,” Grace said dropping her fork with a clatter on her plate. 

“Grace,” Bella pleaded. 

“No. I’m not letting you guys do this without me. Edward can stay with Bella,” Grace pointed at Edward, like a child accusing a sibling. He let out a scoff. Jake glared at Grace. “What?!” she said, voice raised. Okay, she was a little emotionally uneven right now, she’d admit, but that wasn’t an excuse to box her out of the fight. 

“Forgot how stubborn you were,” Jake said casually, returning to shovelling eggs and bacon into his mouth. Grace rolled her eyes and looked back to Edward. 

“I’ll get her there but I’m not staying, so figure something else out.” Grace said definitively, crossing her arms. 

“You’ll have to talk to Sam then,” Edward replied, digging in his heels and keeping his voice curt. 

“Oooh, I’m so scared.” Grace taunted. Bella had her head in her hands now. “I can do more than just recast you know.” Jake looked at her suddenly giving her a warning look. Edward waited to hear more but Grace decided not to offer additional information, squirming a little under Jake’s look. 

“Grace, I’d feel better if you were with me. I don’t want you in the fight as much as Edward, but at least if you’re there I’ll know we’re safe together.” Bella said softly. Grace rested her eyes on her uncrossing her arms and leaning forward to Bella.

“I understand, but I can’t leave them out there,” she motioned to Jake. 

“You can and you will,” Jake said between mouthfuls. Grace glared at him. Now she was careening toward annoyance at his presence even though when he left she knew the cold would return. “Because Sam’s gonna make you.” Jake gave her a knowing, harsh look. 

Grace tightened at this, her whole body starting to shake and shimmer. Her emotions were on a hairpin trigger as it were. She heard an echo of her name as someone, maybe Jake, maybe Bella, called out to her before she recast. Then, she was in the same thicket of wood she’d ended up in the past few days.

Again.

She was standing in the fern covered ground, as if she had just been dropped there. She threw her head back and let out a low groan: 

“Uuuuugh, why?! Why am I here?” she asked no one. 

Fine. If something was bringing her here, she needed to figure out what it was. She surveyed the densely vegetated area and picked a direction, taking large steps over the choke of ferns, vines, and brush. Grace could hear the ocean nearby and the birds trilled and dove above her high in the trees. After a few minutes walking through the trees, she came to a clearing. 

Grace audibly gasped. The clearing she had come into was actually a cove. She faced the side of an old dilapidated house that faced out toward the lapping waves in the large oval shaped cove. She stepped out of the brush toward the moss covered home. The roof was sagging on one side and it definitely had weathered more than one storm. 

Grace came around to the front of the home and tentatively tested the porch steps. It led up to a wide and deep covered porch. It seemed okay but she tread lightly anyway. The house was on the small side but breathtaking with wide old windows laid into the front that reflected the ocean at her. She tried the door and it swung open easily. 

Abandoned. Empty.

When she crossed the threshold, she felt that familiar rush move through her that she now recognized as a signal of change, a shift in her destiny, the page turning. She took a deep breath and stood in the doorway all at once feeling alone, but home. 

Grace zipped close the duffel bag she was meant to bring with her to the campsite. 

“You know where you’re going?” Sam said standing next to her in the clearing. Bella was finishing up rubbing her blood on everything and Grace grimaced at the coppery smell that lingered around. 

“Yes.” she said with a huff, shouldering the bag and looking up at him. She zipped up her coat. Even in the warm May weather, it would be quite a bit cooler up the mountain. 

“Just listen for Jake’s voice and you’ll be able to see if a threat is coming, okay?” Sam said, fully acknowledging that she was more directly linked with Jacob from afar than him. 

“Okay. Anything else?” Grace said. He’d already given her the Alpha order that she wasn’t allowed to join the fight under any circumstances. To which she had almost lunged at him for before Jacob put a hand defensively around her. He waited for her to look at him in the eyes before he said. 

“Nope, just stay put with Bella until we give the all clear. Understood?” He thought he’d just toss on an extra dose of the alpha just in case the first one hadn’t sunk in. Grace bit the inside of her cheek, irritated and gave a curt. 

“Mmmhmm,” before turning to see Jake and Bella approaching. Edward left his family’s group to come and say goodbye to Bella. 

“Ready?” Jake said. Grace, hands on her hips nodded again and Jake ran a hand down her arm before nodding at her, “Everything’s going to be okay.” He hesitated before jogging off with Sam to look at her just a little bit longer. Grace held back the emotion threatening to spill out and bounced her leg nervously. 

“I know. Be careful,” she edged out. Jacob nodded and looked over her shoulder at Edward, signaling his was off and then he turned to leave. The pull in her stomach jerked toward him as he ran and Grace winced. 

Grace turned to Bella who held out her hand after giving Edward one last long kiss. 

“Stay together,” he said strongly before Grace had heard enough and recast them easily to their targeted destination. Edward had gone ahead and set up their campsite earlier the night before. Grace dropped the duffel bag near the tent and turned to look at Bella. 

“Well. This will be fun.” Grace said sarcastically. 

“Thank you for staying with me,” Bella said softly. Grace immediately melted some. 

“I know. Of course. I’m sorry I’m just…” Grace faltered. 

“It’s okay. I know the feeling.” Bella could see that Grace was trying to keep it together despite everything that had just happened over the last week. “It’ll take time to feel okay again. At least I think it will? Jacob was the only thing that could make me feel slightly better afterward.” She said shoving her hands in her pockets. 

“Same,” Grace breathed. 

“Two peas in a pod.” Bella joked. 

As the night drew on, Grace and Bella settled into their sleeping bags around the campfire where they had roasted some peppers and warmed up some of Emily’s homemade vegetarian soup made special for Bella. They had zipped their sleeping bags together and were huddled under it spooning soup into their mouth when Seth bounded up the hill. 

Grace could feel him coming early on as she listened for Jake, but she still acted surprised when he appeared. 

“Seth-a-rino!” She said happily clanking her bowl of soup with Bella’s. “The party starts!” 

Are you drunk? She could hear Seth ask jokingly.

“What? Of course not.” Grace said, confused. Bella looked at Grace curiously since she hadn’t heard what Seth had said, but she waved her off. Seth acknowledged her weird mood swing and came to sit beside them in his wolf form. He radiated hotter than the bonfire ahead of them. 

“What do you think it’s gonna be like tomorrow?” Grace asked Bella. “You’ve had way more encounters with vicious vampires than I have to be fair.” Bella nodded at this. 

“I’m not sure. A few vampires is one thing, but an entire army of newborns? I was in an entire ancient den of probably the most dangerous vampires in the world and I still couldn’t tell you. But I know it will probably be terrifying.” 

Grace breathed out, listening for echoes in the distance. Voices calling out to her in rounds, but no one did. Seth’s even wolf puffs of breath indicated he had fallen asleep. Grace watched the flames of the fire until they died down to an ashen burn before nudging a sleeping Bella awake to go sleep in the tent. 

The morning of the fight dawned on Grace excruciatingly slowly. She paced up and down the side hill training her ear for Jacob. She heard echoing voices that didn’t say much, just communicated how excited, how pumped, how scared or nervous they were for the fight to start. They were meant to stay on the eastern part of the forest and slowly surround once the vampires had been drawn into Bella’s blood-soaked clearing. 

Alice confirmed with Edward who relayed to Sam that the newborns were on their way and would be there soon. The message echoed down the line. Grace felt a lump form in her throat as she repeated over and over again so Jacob would hear her. 

Be careful. Be careful. Please be careful. 

She was surprised by the volley of answers calling out to her. 

We will. 

We’ve got this.

Stay put. 

They won’t know what hits them. 

Can’t wait to take them down. 

They’re the ones that should be careful. 

Let’s rock this shit.

Grace laughed a little, reassured by the confident voices and closed her eyes to try and see through Jacob’s eyes what was happening. The image flickered off and on for her—she hadn’t practiced this form of communication as much with him. But she was able to see that they were falling into formation and the sickening smell of the vampires was growing as they descended on the clearing. 

The Cullen’s stood ready. Grace felt a warm hand in hers and felt Bella beside her, leaning in like she could hear what was happening too, but watching Grace’s face for cues. 

“They’re here.” Grace echoed and she saw, horrifyingly, as the newborns stomped into the clearing. The Cullens didn’t hesitate intercepting them as the huge throng of 23 strong newborns launched at them. They volleyed for two minutes, mostly ducking and moving out of the newborns way to get them deeper into the clearing and buy the wolves time to surround the clearing and then--

Grace heard the command from Sam to charge in and she tightened her hold on Bella’s hand. 

“What? What?!” Bella asked frantic clutching Grace’s hand back. Grace focused and shook her head. She followed Jacob’s sight through the throng. He lunged and ripped and tore at each newborn that came into close contact. 

Then he careened back, changing course and lunging across the field over bodies and bodies fighting to intercept and pull a newborn that had clung to Embry’s back. He and Sam ran rings around the group, trying to keep up but—

“They’re outnumbered.” Grace breathed. And then, she saw the red head, Victoria, move into the field, frantically searching and locking eyes with Edward across the field. Edward was on her in a second and they were locked in an exchange of blows. Edward tossed her across the field and Quil went to intercept but got flung back by a large newborn that crunched him into a tree. 

Grace sucked in a deep breath and tensed. Jake was there in a second to pull the newborn down and Quil quickly rejoined the fight, shaken but undeterred. The newborns were fast, just as Jasper had described, and they were outpacing the wolves and the Cullens were having trouble keeping up. Each time one of the wolves pulled a newborn to the ground, a Cullen would come to try and pull the newborn apart, but frustratingly, the newborns would wiggle free and dart away more often than not and continue the tireless fight. After ten minutes of this, Their numbers had barely diminished. 

Grace was growing worried as the wolves continued, their senses dialed to ten. But she knew it wouldn’t last forever. They’d get tired and then they’d be in trouble. Jacob was having more success taking some newborns down but when Paul was suddenly knocked from his feet, Grace couldn’t help but yell out in pain as the newborn came down on top of him, snapping his collarbone. Paul yelped and Grace snapped her eyes open. The alpha order melted away and she felt it’s release.

“Grace wait!” Bella said seeing a dangerous look in her eye. Seth whimpered and tried pleading too. 

You’re supposed to stay with me and Bella, Grace. Sam said, remember?

“Stay here, Seth.” Grace was calm, she felt the air move easily around her as she recast and heard a rushing sound, a change as she reappeared directly in the middle of the clearing, the fight raging around her. She knew she had to do something, but no sooner had she got there than suddenly, the newborns froze and their gaze snapped to her. The Cullens and wolves instantly moved to try and tackle the temporarily distracted newborns but it caused them to move faster, surrounding Grace in their fury. 

She smelled very very good to them, temporarily overpowering Bella’s scent in the clearing. Her heartbeat echoed in their newly defined ears. They were drawn to her like moths to a particularly lit flame. 

Bait. She was bait. Fuck. 

Grace hadn’t anticipated this reaction and braced herself for the onslaught not sure what to do next. The wolves dashed toward her, somehow in this moment outpacing the vampires as adrenaline shot through them at seeing Grace there. They made a crushing circle around Grace facing the newborns. Furious voices filled her head as the wolves cursed at her for being there. 

Jesus, Grace. 

You couldn’t just stay put. 

I swear to fucking god if we die, I’m gonna be so pissed. 

As the newborns crushed in on top of the wolves and the Cullens tried to pull them off from the outside, Grace saw an opening. She had to act fast. 

She recast outside of the tight circle of snapping, growling, shattering, and bludgeoning and moved quickly around the edge of the circle. 

She reached through one of the Cullen’s arms, Emmett by the size of it, and onto a newborn they had. She yelled “Let go!” and they did. Grace recast carrying the newborn out of the crush just a few feet from the circle. Then in one swift motion she pulled her energy up, hardened it, and smashed it down toward the ground as hard as she could onto the unsuspecting newborn that had been sprawled out on the grass, cleanly severing it’s head and smashing it’s arms in the process. 

Satisfied with this result, she repeated it more times than she could keep up with, constantly recasting in and around the circle, pulling newborn after newborn free and smashing them to bits on the ground. The Cullens, catching on, broke from the circle and picked up the mess of limbs and threw it on a waiting fire. The wolves were able to push the diminished crowd of newborns back as Grace moved quickly. The rest seemed easy.

Grace saw Edward out of the corner of her eye give her a menacing look and take off through the trees. She had left Bella alone and unprotected. She tried to shout after him but the momentary distraction had given a newborn the opening they needed to crash into Grace, tackling her from around the waist and smashing her against a tree. 

Blood poured from her mouth at the force of the impact and she temporarily slumped to the ground after the newborn had pulled back, hand raised to bash in her skull no doubt. But that blow never came—Jacob and Paul crashed through the clearing, one going for the head, the other going for the body and ripped the newborn to literal shreds, not stopping until he was practically dust. 

Grace picked herself up and leaned back against the tree taking deep gulping breaths, the blood soaking the front of her shirt. She tried to assess her internal injuries but in her heightened state was unable to focus on one point of pain long enough before it subsided. Jake and Paul stood guard in front of her scanning the field as the others took down newborn after newborn. The wolves were taking the rest down 2-1. 

Her eyes widened as she heard a distance, echoing voice rise up through the back of her head.

Grace! Grace help!

 “Seth!” Grace recast, envisioning the campsite and holding onto Seth’s form in her mind. 

Jacob and Paul swung around to where she had stood, eyes wide, before jumping back in to take care of the rest of them at Sam’s command. When Grace recast at the campsite, her eyes widened as she took in the scene.

Edward was on his knees, held by Victoria at the throat as another blonde newborn held him down. Bella was screaming and about to launch toward them but Grace was faster. Seth was mid-air when she recast and slid into the blonde’s legs like she was sliding into homebase, knocking him unexpectedly off his feet. Seth grabbed his head in his mouth and tore it cleanly from his shoulders. 

Grace tossed the beheaded body aside and Seth had at it. Edward was able to get on his feet, and take Victoria down to the ground. Grace strode over, lifted her leg as high as she could and brought it down with a satisfying crunch into Victoria’s face. She ground her heel into her neck, severing it from her body. Edward flicked open a lighter and threw it on the bonfire, stacking Victoria’s body on the blaze and immediately crossed to Bella. Grace tossed the severed head and limbs of the blonde vampire on as well, her breathing raspy and uneven.

“Grace?” Bella said, concerned as Edward wrapped his arms around her pulling her into him. 

Blood covered Grace’s shirt but she didn’t feel injured. She must be in shock. Then a scene flickered in front of her eyes. Leah spotted a newborn hiding in the trees and went after it. Her takedown was messy and the newborn quickly got his arms around her. Whimpering and calling out for help, the pack snapped into action. Sam cried out “Leah!” desperately trying to reach her.

But Jacob got there first, pulling the vampire off. He stumbled in his haste to free Leah and the newborn got the upper hand again, quickly wrapping his arms around Jacob. Grace heard a sickening crunch and screamed, recasting into the clearing as she saw Jake’s body fall to the ground. 

Every piece of energy she felt around her roiled and built up in the ground beneath her like an unconscious call. She realized her scream was echoing and pushing out around her and in the next moment, the energy like a hot, crashing wave moved out from around her and pushed everything in the clearing away, including the wolves and the Cullen’s who were thrown into the forest. The newborn who had been poised above Jacob felt the full force of it and slammed back into a tree, cracking his head at the neck so it was almost severed but not quite. Jacob’s body was untouched. 

Trees fell from the impact of the energy and crashed into the ground like giant booming dominoes. Grace quickly ran to Jacob who had unphased in his agony before passing out. 

“Jake?!” she yelled in a broken sob. 

The others were on her in a second crowding around Jacob. Paul put his arms under Grace’s shoulders and hoisted her back away from Jacob despite her screams and clawing forward to get to him. The pack quickly and carefully picked him up walking out of the clearing. She heard a muffled sound and saw Carlisle shout something at them. But she was losing consciousness. 

The massive amount of energy she had expelled to clear their battleground had drained everything from her. Paul caught her under the knees as she buckled and let herself get swallowed up in the darkness, the noise and rush still crashing around in her head.

[cameroncreative]

Lost But Not Forgotten

Cross Posted on my Ao3 if you want to read it there instead!

Title: Lost But Not Forgotten

Word Count: 2658 words

Summary: What if Eri got hit with the quirk erasing bullets?

Izuku quickly rushed the little girl in his arms to the closest ambulance. He gently laid her on the gurney. “Thank you, sir. We can take it from here.” They went to remove him from the ambulance but failed.

“I’m not leaving her. She is at a high risk of being targeted again, and I need to get to the hospital as well. It would be logical to let me ride with you and solve both of those issues at once.” He made sure to a level head and give a logical explanation to stay with Eri.

“Okay sir, but we don’t have another gurney for you.” She told him as a last-ditch effort to get him to leave and seek help himself.

“That’s fine. Please focus on Eri, I’ve dealt with worse. I just need some gauze to help stop the bleeding, and I’ll be fine until we get to the hospital.” Izuku sat in the corner of the ambulance to make sure he stayed out of the way as they helped patch up Eri.

----

Izuku uses little bursts of One For All to avoid the spikes shooting out of the ground. Eri clung to his back like a koala, as well as secured with Mirio’s cape. Her quirk rewinding the injuries just as fast as they happened.

Looking around she noticed one of the men start to sit up. He looked around and spotted the gun from earlier. Izuku landed the finishing punch to overhaul, as the other guy loaded the gun with the other red bullet. Izuku untied the cape from around her and placed her on the ground to check for any injuries. He still had his back to the man and hadn’t noticed that he had woken up.

Eri saw him go to pull the trigger and tried to move her hero out of the way. To try and save the person who was able to save her. She heard Izuku scream before she felt the sharp burn in her arm where the bright red bullet embedded its self.

Mirio quickly knocked out Nemoto and place cuffs on him, but the damage was already done. Eraserhead did the same to Overhaul. Izuku picked up Eri into his arms and ran to the ambulances. If tiny sparks of green lighting buzzed around his legs, no one noticed.

----

As soon as they got to the hospital they rushed Eri off to remove the bullet and heal any injures that needed healing quirks to fix. One of them directed Izuku to a nurse who helped patch up his remaining injuries. He had cuts and hairline fractures in both of his legs. Recovery girl was on her way and would be able to fix him up quickly as long as he laid there and didn’t aggravate or worsen his injures before she arrived.

Every time a nurse or doctor came in he asked about Eri.

How is she?

Was the surgery successful?

Can I see her?

Did she make it?

None of them had any answers for him. Finally, Aizawa showed up. Eri was to be put in his care after she recovered since he could help control her quirk, but something he said made Aizawa stop before leaving, “But she doesn’t have her quirk right now?”

“What?”

“She got hit by one of the red bullets. The ones they said permanently erases someone’s quirk. The only thing is that we know the bullets were made with her blood and quirk, so I’m not sure how she’ll react to it. Maybe-”

“Why wasn’t I informed of this before now?”

“Well, I wanted to make sure she didn’t lose too much blood. Especially since Kai and yakuza were already taking her blood to make the bullets. So I quickly got her to an ambulance. I’m sorry I didn’t inform anyone, but I’m not sorry about trying to save her.” Aizawa sighed.

“You did the right thing, Problem child. Recovery Girl arrived and she's helping some of the more critical patients, as well as Eri. Don’t move until she gets here. If I learn anything before then I’ll let you know.” Aizawa left to wherever Eri was, as Izuku laid back into the bed. Even as the adrenaline wore off his thoughts never slowed.

Is she okay?

Did she lose her quirk?

Will the bullet affect her differently since it was made from her blood?

Why did she try and save me, when I was supposed to be the one saving her?

Will I ever get to see her again?

----

Thankfully everything worked out. Eri did lose her quirk, but there doesn’t seem to have any other backlash from the bullet except a small starburst shaped on her arm. She was really happy when she learned that she was able to match her hero with their scars.

Aizawa and Yamada sill adopted her. Hitoshi and her are adorable playing with the cats. Plus, Aizawa emotionally adopted Izuku as well as being Hitoshi’s boyfriend. Izuku and Eri have become unofficial siblings.

Recently though, Eri’s been really tired and even passed out once while they were playing. They brought her to a good friend of Recovery Girls’s whose quirk is that she’s able to touch a person and see their entire medical history from surgeries to the paper cut you got at eight years old.

Eri’s body had been using her quirk to undo the damage Overhaul did when she was with him. Someone can only be taken apart and put back together so many times. Now that she doesn’t have her quirk her body is failing. “Is there any way to reverse it?” Izuku asked at the same time Aizawa asked, “How much longer does she have?”

“Aizawa! You can’t, no no no. There has to be a way to fix this!” Izuku plead. The doctor looked at him sadly.

“The damage isn’t something even Recovery Girl’s quirk can heal. Image having a scar that was heal and reopened constantly. Her quirk was able to go back before the scar was even there and remove it. But we can’t heal the scar once it’s healed. Based on how fast this happened and how long she was in his care, she probably has about one to two months left. Even then she will probably be in excruciating pain if she lived longer than that.” Izuku just sat down and held Eri who had fallen asleep earlier and cried.

One to two months.

Excruciating pain.

Can’t be healed.

‘I can’t lose her. She just started to warm up to us. I was supposed to save her! I’ll do my best to protect you. Make every day the best you’ve ever had. I promise. We’re lucky the league of villains already killed Overhaul or we might have had a repeat of the stain incident.’

The next month and a half passed way quicker than anyone wanted.

Picnics in the park.

Ice cream after school.

Movie nights with all of them cuddled together.

Makeover night with class 1A.

The spring festavatle.

Eri smiling.

More doctor visits.

Nightmares and screams.

Pain…

----

They woke up to the loud screams coming from Eri’s room. They all rushed to see what happened. Izuku reached her first and quickly woke her up from the nightmare. As soon as she was awake she grabbed onto Izuku like her world depended on it. Aizawa, Yamada, and Hitoshi were quick to join the hug.

Aizawa started to hum her favorite lullaby to help her get back to sleep as Izuku gently rocked her in his arms. As the song came to a close, the hiccupping sobs had stopped and her breathing slowed. The rest of them took and breath and relaxed. Crisis averted.

Izuku looked back to the sister he promised to protect. She looked so peaceful, almost too peaceful. She wasn’t moving. He quickly moved his hand under her nose to check if she was breathing.

Nothing.

He jumped up with her in his arms. And placed her on the floor. “Get Recovery Girl! She stopped breathing!” He faintly heard Hitoshi yell at Aizawa, but couldn’t focus on what they were saying as he made sure her airway was open and started chest compressions.

1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 . . . 5 . . . 6 . . . 7 . . . 8 . . . 9 . . . 10 . . . 11 . . . 12 . . . 13 . . . 14 . . . 15 . . . 16 . . . 17 . . . 18 . . . 19 . . . 20 . . . 21 . . . 22 . . . 23 . . . 24 . . . 25 . . . 26 . . . 27 . . . 2- he felt himself be pulled away from Eri as recovery Girl quickly attached the patches of the AED on her body and yelled “Clear!” as they charged up and shocked her lifless body, but ti was no use.

It was too late, She was gone and they could all feel it. Even though Recovery Girl whispered it after the second shock, it was heard loud and clear in the room.

Time of Death, 2:33 am

You could hear the tump of a body hitting the ground as Izuku fell to the ground by Hitoshi’s feet. Hitoshi sat down next to him and held him as they both cried over the loss of their sister.

Even though Aizawa and Yamada, and even Hitoshi a bit, had accepted that she didn’t have that much longer with them, Izuku still was trying to find a way to heal her. Izuku took her death the hardestest. He still wanted to believe that he could save her. He couldn’t accept that this was the end for her.

All Might showed up and help Recovery Girl bring Eri’s body to the infirmary until she could be buried. The rest of the Erasermic family ended up in the living room. Crying and holding each other until they passed out from exhaustion.

The next day they were nowhere to be found. Midnight and Nezu took over their classes. No one but All might, Recovery Girl, and Nezu knew what happened last night. The remaining members of the Erasermic family ended up at the Midoriya house in the morning for some much-needed food and comfort.

----

Inko was sitting on the crunch reading a book when she heard a knock at the door.

Did Mitsuki decide to come over?

Did Izuku need something?

Is Izuku okay?

She opened to door only to see a green blur capture her in a hug. She panicked until she notices the familiar dark green bird’s nest buried in her shoulder. Looking back to the open door she noticed the other three standing there as well. “Shota, Hizashi, Hitoshi, please come in.” Her son hesitantly let go and was immediately latched onto Hitoshi’s side. Even when Izuku was young he was always comforted by physical touch. This was made worse as he started school, and the bullying started. He distanced himself from her so she wouldn’t worry about the cuts and burns that started to litter his body.

Of course, she noticed, but she hoped he would come to her about it. Instead, he became touch starved and now craves physical effect, but only trusts certain people to touch him. Hitoshi lifted his boyfriend up and carried him to his room. As soon as he laid Izuku on the bed and cuddled close to him, Inko laid the weighted blanket over them.

Five minutes later Izuku stood up and came back with a white and red unicorn plush. He placed it between them when Hitoshi realized that it was Eri’s weighted and scented plush that she left here. The smell of candy apples started to fill the room as Izuku grabbed his hand placed it over the unicorn. He quickly caught on to what Izuku wanted and intertwined his hand with Izuku’s and rested it on the plush like they used to do when they cuddled with Eri on nights her nightmares got really bad.

“Would you two like some tea or coffee?” Inko asked the two gentlemen cuddled on the couch as she walked back into the living room. Yamada spoke up.

“Just a black coffee for Sho, and earl grey tea for me, thank you.”

Inko placed the kettle on the stove. Both men joined her in the kitchen. “So I noticed Izuku is extra cuddly today. Did something happen to him? Is that why you’re here?” She made sure to be blunt and straight to the point like she knew Aizawa preferred.

“Early this morning Eri passed.” Inko dropped the teaspoon she was holding for the tea. “Izuku’s not taking it too well.” Inko went over and engulfed both men in a hug. The tree of them had gotten closer. Aizawa had emotionally adopted Izuku, Inko emotionally adopted Hitoshi and Eri.

“H-how, how-” She took a breath before continuing, “How did she pass?” she asked gently.

“We went to comfort her after a nightmare. As she fell back to sleep her breathing stopped. We got Recovery Girl as Izuku started CPR, but it was too late.” Hizashi informed her.

She reached up and kissed both men on their cheeks as she pulled them into another hug. All of them we also touch starved and needed each other.

~~~~

Even once they returned to class, Izuku wasn’t the same. Katsuki has started dropping off a bento box where Izuku and Hitoshi ate after noticing Izuku didn’t want to be in the cafeteria but also didn’t bring lunch usually. Eventually, he started sitting with them at lunch. The three of them became closer. Hitoshi learned of their past, and if he made Katsuki do the macarena around the gym during their next class train session, well that’s totally unrelated.

One day they were studying in Izuku’s room when Izuku began to look for his textbook when he found a piece of candy apple red fabric. He had never given it back to Mirio after the raid since it helped Eri calm down after panic attacks and nightmares.

“-uku, Izuku, DEKU!” HE looked up at his boyfriend’s worried face.

“Zuku, you’re crying. What ha- Is that Miro’s cape?” he nodded slowly as more tears fell onto the fabric.

“I couldn’t save her! I promised I would save her!” He leaned into his chest, the fabric falling in favor of hugging him.

“This isn’t your fault. No one blames you, Zuzu. You rescued her from Overhaul. You are her hero.”

“I rescued her, but he still won! I couldn’t stop her pain. I should have never taken my eyes off of them. I could have stopped the bullet from ever hitting her. She would have still had her quirk. She could have healed. She would have survived!”

“Why are you even still with me Hitoshi? If I had done better your sister would still be here. Kacchan, you as well. You probably think I’m pathetic for not being able to save a single kid. I just don’t get it!” Izuku tried to pull away from them, but they just held him closer.

“Zuku, Izuku look at me.” He raised his head slowly. “First off, she was just as much your sister as mine. Second, you’re the reason I got a little sister in the first place. You did you’re very best, and it’s not your fault. The only people I blame are Overhaul and the rest of the Yakuza who sat back and let him do this. You did something about it. You got her out of that situation. I’m still here because of all of that and more. You are so amazing and you don’t even realize it.” He softly kissed Izuku’s head.

“I know I don’t have the greatest track record for sticking by you-” Hitoshi snorted, “Fine! I’m shit at it, okay! I know, but I’m not going anywhere. We’ll be the wonder duo again, plus this purple emo tagging along, hahaha. But seriously, we’re not going anywhere.”

The next day the three boys didn’t show up to class. When Aizawa went looking for them, he found them cuddled together on the floor. Mirio’s cape is on the ground next to them.

[tosikoarts]

SFW Alphabet | L Lawliet

L is here too, wow. You can check tosikowrites tag for more. Warning: there’s a lot, again. 

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

   Here is the thing: сhildren receiving inadequate affection may manifest stunted physical growth despite receiving adequate nutrition, so you can imagine what it can do to the emotional growth and perception of other people. Watari tried to cultivate kindness, mercy, love equally in his wards but it is impossible considering how many orphans reside in Wammy’s house. Little L was more interested in the world’s famous inventions, books, riddles than in other children, and now you have to face the consequences.

  He has to start from scratch. In the beginning L sticks to mimicking affection given to him. You bought him a box of chocolate, he will buy you a box of eclairs. You ruffled his hair, he will play with yours, twisting it on finger. You hugged him and he will hug you whenever feels convenient. At some point he will find new ways of showing his love.

  Understanding that he can do other things too gave him insight. He can try this, and that, and ask you if you liked it or not, wow. L’s curiosity will take over: different types of kisses, various cuddle positions, playful fights, nights out, nights in – he wants to do it all.

  Well, not everything is so rosy. During work, he forgets what he has learned and goes back to his old self. Sadly, this won’t change no matter what.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

 Where to begin? How do you even get this man to be your friend? You don’t. He chooses you and then suddenly, - boom! – you’re best friends forever, it is established fact. But before it happens, he will study you like an ant under a magnifying glass.

There is not a lot of places where he can find a person with an IQ close to his. High chance L will look for a friend among the best FBI agents or fellow detectives.

 Friends who judge people together stay together. He is a person who likes to spill some tea and throw a little shade for entertainment.

  Sarcasm and irony are things that no conversation can go without, so L wants a person who doesn’t get offended right away and can keep up with it.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

   The best way to make L shut up is to cuddle him. No way he will refuse a good cuddle session when in private, but will hesitate if someone else is around.

 He’s 100% touch-starved. All cuddle positions are fine, but if you want to knock him out completely go for face to face cuddle while on his lap. Now he can’t sit in frog-like position (so his IQ has already dropped) and there’s person playing with his hair? Congratulation, L has fallen.

 D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

D stands for domestic and disaster when it comes to both cooking and cleaning. Even though he would love to settle down and retire from detective work, he has no skills when it comes to the most basic things. His whole life someone else took care for those little unimportant tasks so he could push human mind to its limit, and now it’s too late for relearning. When he tries to cook it never ends up well, you just have to accept this man’s futility and move on.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

There was nothing surprising that he had to break up with you. No other possible ending for such relationship, absurd and strange, and with someone like him. L will choose cruel ghosting because explanation is for losers and emotionally mature people. One day he vanishes from your radar: no more messages, no more calls, nobody knows him because L never met your friends. Conscience continues to nibble him for two weeks or so, he has to continuously fight desire to contact you and he would miserably fail if there was no Kira to occupy all of his free time.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Two to three years are enough for him to pop a question. Those months were spent in careful study and relationship viability assessment. Let’s be real, he will put person he likes in tricky situations just to evaluate their reaction. Manipulative? Yes. Cruel? Yes. Weird? Yes. He won’t allow anything extreme though. After all, he learned  a lot about human interactions and developed undoubtedly strong feelings for them. In addition, he will propose during trip to Kyoto, when visiting Kiyomizu-dera  with its famous Love Shrine. Right after “Why would I walk between these   stones if I already found you?”.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

In the beginning his level of gentleness is somewhere between a log and jar of jam. Day by day, week by week L realizes that all of his actions come down to the will to care, love, protect, - and guess what? – these three have to be gentle in order to fit the definition of healthy relationship. He allows himself to grow emotionally. If we talk about physical sphere, he is very cautious from the beginning and tries to fight his natural stiffness so another person can feel his love.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

It’s another of his weakness. L wasn’t properly hugged as a child and it took a toll on him: when you hug him for first time, he is stiff and awkward. Second time is better, but his hands on your back still feel like a mannequin’s grip.

L grows fond of warmth and comfort pretty fast and he starts to initiate hugs himself. His favorite part of the day is when he tiptoes to you from behind, grabs you in bear hug, and you both fall on the sofa/bed/anything soft enough to leave you without bruises.  

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He suddenly blurted it out after only 3 months of dating. It sounded so innocent, affectionate, sincere, that he shut up for a minute to rethink what just happened. He totally meant what he said, of course, but at the same time, he was not sure it was the right moment, the right tone, even the right choice of words. L will try to explain what he wanted to say in trembling voice but will not say anything coherent because L.exe stopped working.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

 Because of how hard it is to let new people in, L becomes very attached to those who have overcome all obstacles and decided to stay in his life. Thus fear of abandonment arises, and so does jealousy.

He is not paranoid about where you are and who you spend your time, but he doesn’t mind  knowing it. You don’t want to use a tracker on your phone? Too bad, maybe, he’s already installed it. For your safety only.

 Easily jealous and will need a lot of reassurance despite immediately becoming distant and silent. It is another way of manipulation because what if you do leave him all alone?

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Again, he didn’t have a lot of practice so L’s kisses are sloppy and a little rough. His lips are always chapped because of constant licking and biting during intense thought process, and they feel a little dry on your skin. Because of this (and awkwardness, of course) L will quickly shift kisses into cuddles or hugs. He both prefers to kiss and be kissed on the forehead, since, in his opinion, it is the gentlest expression of love.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

The God is dead, house is on fire, Watari maneuvers between flames, trying to save the day. No, seriously, kids love L, he looks like a character from their favorite cartoon, but since he is not the most energetic person, to say the least, they quickly lose interest in him. The best solution for L is to babysit with someone who is more experienced and can guide him through this complicated process. Otherwise, he will make sure all dangerous objects are out of reach and leave children to themselves (if their age allows, of course).

Afraid to have kids of his own. Living in orphanage, he had no real functional family so a thought of parent's duty scares him.

 M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

·   Morning routine depends on L’s messed up sleeping schedule:

If he went to bed last night, it means sleep deprivation finally got to him. Next 12 hours or so he will spend in blanket cocoon, tossing and slightly snuffling. No human power can wake him up, there’s no point in trying.

However if he stayed up all night, you will find out your kitchen turned into delicious sweet buffet. TV is still turned on with weird movie playing, but no sound is coming out of speakers. A tower of empty teacups is about to collapse. L is sitting in the chair, eating two cupcakes at once, lost in thoughts. He will offer you to join him in feast and raise his head a little, exposing his cheek for a kiss. It’s 5 am. Sun is rising and erasing last stars from the sky. Life is good.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

·Nights out are rare, most of the times you stay inside, eating take-out and watching true crime documentaries. He still cannot decide whether they are dumb or interesting, so he keeps watching and changing his opinion with every new episode. After you go to bed, L will lay down next to you. Sometimes he will fall asleep, cuddling you and nuzzling into your neck. Sometimes he will get up and do God knows what.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Well, he gives you fake name, always lies about his job, and holds back many details about his life… L wants to open up, he really does, but there’s no way he will do it. To every question he has a prepared half-true answer. Everything related to detective work is hidden behind seven seals and will be never presented to you unless you’re from FBI.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

The embodiment of serenity, L never gets angry in classical sense. He may sulk, turn to sarcasm, shower your with stinging comments or, on the contrary, suddenly stop talking, but you’ll never see him red-faced, screaming, swearing right and left. He doesn’t have time to waste energy on such silly thing. It takes a lot to make him mad. After he calms down, L will continue make bitter remarks about thing that pissed him off for weeks.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Not that attentive, really. You would expect him to remember a lot but he is always busy chasing exceptional criminals and his brain erases many details, both minor and major. For example, he can easily forget your Birthday and congratulate you both before and after it.

L never fails to remember anniversaries thanks to phone reminders. However, if he doesn’t check his phone that day, he will forget about them as well.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

No matter how trite it may sound, his favorite moment is their first kiss. L clearly remembers his heart beating deafeningly loud and palms sweating like he’s kid who got in big trouble. There is no picture left in his memory, only feelings and crazy thoughts, terribly matted together. After it happened, L couldn’t even make a witty remark. Later that day he sat in front of overflowing cup of tea and slowly realized how little happiness he had felt before.  

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Since he did everything to protect himself first and then, - just in case, - put a spying app on the phone of his loved, a satisfactory sense of security drowns out all of his possible fears. If anything happens, there’s already a rescue plan waiting to be executed.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Let’s say he is trying, he is trying his best every day.

When it comes to presents, L will go for advice to Internet, rarely to Watari, and choose gift as close as possible to your interests. Dates are all on you though, because he feels so strange when he has to plan something for you two. On a subconscious level, he is afraid to ruin everything.

Tries even harder on anniversaries (if he remembers about them) and you either have the best day of your life, when he does whenever you want, or you are all alone wondering what the actual heck. In short, it’s all or nothing situation.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

L is obviously manipulative, you can’t justify him. Some manipulation techniques are so integrated in his thinking and speech that it is impossible to get rid of them. Like if gaslighting was an Olympic sport, he would have all golden, silver, and bronze medals.

It seems like the opposite to the first point, but L also loves to be inappropriate straightforward. You know, moments when you understand what you feel but when another person vocalizes it or comments on it, you absolutely lose your shit? That’s what we talk about.

Quirkiness. I don’t really think this needs explanation. The totality of his strange habits can be a very repulsive sight to an ordinary person.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Watari is more concerned about his looks than he is. L never buys his clothes, his wardrobe is minimalist’s dream and consists of few pieces of monotone clothes, three pairs of shoes, and warm jacket for a fall/winter season. He doesn’t like brushing his hair, bites his nails to the blood, but absolutely adores hot bubble bathes. Looks do not matter when all people see is the letter L in Gothic font.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Depends on time spent in the relationship:

 It’s stupid to expect L to suffer tremendously if you leave in first two months. When you are here he is a little bit happier, when you are not he is not that concerned. There’s still a high chance you’ll see him as he sees himself and leave, so why would he bother? It’s almost a painful expectation for another person to give up. If it ends, nothing will change, end of story.

Later L starts to catch himself worrying that someone finally climbed over the wall of his alienation, and it doesn’t seem like they are planning to leave any time soon. The closer they get, the scarier it is. If you suddenly cut all ties, he will be heartbroken, his face is emotionless like always but he is still hurt deep inside.

If anything happens a lot later in relationship, like year or two, L’s reaction will be calmer. He is grateful for everything they had and shared with him, for every moment of happiness, so he doesn’t feel like they can leave completely now. They will remain in his memory and his heart and because of it he won’t feel “incomplete”. A little bitter, but not hurt or emotionally torn apart.

If there’s any possibility that his loved one was killed by Kira, L will be furious. He will turn over every stone, use everything he can to avenge them and bring a peace to their memory.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

It’s scary how much time L spends in frog-like position with back hunched. Therefore I feel like he will be ecstatic if someone offered him a good back massage to relax those tense muscles.

Overall, he loves random spa days when you two spend time in sauna, hot springs, yoga class etc. This probably would be his present on your first anniversary.

Some children were obsessed with dinosaurs, some were obsessed with superheroes, but L was obsessed with occultism, urban legends, haunted things, unexplained disappearances, and ghosts. His obsession died but its influence didn’t. Why else would he be so scarred and intrigued after hearing about Shinigami?

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Just like Light, he wouldn’t stand blatant stupidity. Even if there’s something to compensate it, he will grow tired of dumb questions or over-all behavior. Oh, and he will give his comments on it whenever possible too.

Nosiness and bad boundaries. If he keeps some information to himself, it is not because of luck of trust. As a world’s best detective, he has many reasons to dodge personal questions to protect his work from interference and himself from possibility of getting killed.

He doesn’t like loud noises but can put up with it if needed with his collections of different ear plugs.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

It’s a common knowledge L’s sleeping schedule is non-existent. It has been like it since the day he took his first case and nothing has changed since. Watari keeps an eye on how many hours L stays awake and suggests him to rest from time to time but it rarely helps. Once L got so exhausted he straight up started hallucinating about having an adopted child and it scarred the hell out of him. After this incident he takes Watari’s advice more seriously.

L tried different versions of polyphase sleep at least once. Non of them worked, he ended up even more tired and frustrated, lost feeling in one of his arms, then broke a cup because of it.

Also L can sleep everywhere, no matter how uncomfortable he is. In the chair, leaning on the wall, on the floor – it all works for him unless there’s a loud noise in the room.

[a-libra-writes]

SFW Alphabet - Daenerys Targaryen

this was requested, so lets goooo

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Out of necessity, Daenerys often puts on a strong front with her people and guards. She can express some gentleness, but overall she has to be firm, so calling her affectionate would give her some pause. Daenerys actually is once you two are alone. She's not shy about taking kisses when she wants, tucking your hair aside or giving you an embrace. In public she doesn't have this luxury, so in private she can drop her queenly mask to give and receive plenty of emotional and physical affection.

She feels most loved when you're physically close. It's reassuring to have you leaning on her or holding her in your lap. Whose the clingiest that night really depends on your moods and what happened during the day.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

She would be a steadfast and loyal friend, quick to come to your defense both verbally and physically. Daenerys can be full of encouragement and smiles, but she can also be stubbornly firm in telling you to believe in yourself. When she takes off the khaleesi mantel, she is open with her emotion and honest with you, and she expects the same honesty, loyalty and kindness in return. 

You would likely start as an adviser or guide to her, back when she was sold to the dothraki. You were kind to her and helped her through her fears and anxieties, day by day, until she no longer needed to lean on you. She wanted to stand and grow on her own, but she never forgot your kindness, and when Khal Drogo died she asked you to stay as part of her khalasar. As time passed, Daenerys began to see you as a good, reliable person and an equal, someone she can go to for counsel and friendship.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Sometimes she’s so stubborn, she wants to rest against your chest or hold you close, and that’s that. These are nights when Daenerys is feeling alone and touch-starved, and she craves the affection, not even the sexual aspect of it. She just wants to hear your beating heart and listen to your breathing quicken as she cuddles you closer. 

Other days, when Daenerys is feeling frustrated and hopeless, she’ll sit off to herself and appear closed off. You start to learn the days when she wants her space, and the days when she wants to be held, but she can’t bring herself to say it. Some days her duties make her mind heavy and tired, and she struggles to express that she wants comfort and gentleness.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Even when she was married to Khal Drogo, Daenerys never anticipated herself as a meek and quiet wife. Now she knows for sure, she’ll always be on the move, she’ll always fight for what she believes in and she won’t rest until she’s taken what is her’s by right. She’ll have little patience for a partner who attempts her hold her back or doesn’t understand these things. 

Daenerys could potentially survive and cook for herself if she had no one, even hunt, but she vastly prefers it to be done for her. Scrounging and making her own food reminds her too closely of the childhood days when she and Viserys were hungry and begging. For cleaning, she tries to be tidy, but in her haste she’ll leave clothes around or leave her paperwork a mess. She simply has too much on her mind to bother until it’s a problem.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Daenerys would take no pleasure in it, so she’d try to keep it brief. She’d put on a strong front, speaking distantly and diplomatically, like a queen should. She’d express what’s upset her and why she’s making this decision, and she’d prefer it if her partner didn’t try to argue or beg. Daenerys wouldn’t want to hear it, preferring to move forward and try to put the experience behind her.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

She doesn’t think much about it, but Daenerys very much prefers commitment. She knows there are plenty of individuals who would try to worm into her bed and influence her, so she’s guarded about any advances. Flirting here and there is fine, but she has a limit. She doesn’t often let herself dream of it, but Daenerys thinks of the one day when she’s queen and has to have heirs. She’d like to be with someone she loves, of course, and she thinks about the son she could’ve had. 

While Daenerys would commit to a long, lasting relationship she believes in, actual marriage is out of the question until she has her throne, and even then - she has no illusions about the power of marriage alliances, especially in Westeros. It’s a matter she takes seriously, and she’d become irritated with a partner who doesn’t respect her reservations.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Daenerys likes to be more rough when she’s feeling mischievous or frustrated, but overall, her default style of physical affection is gentle, yet sure. When she’s feeling overwhelmed with love and wants to express it, she’ll hug tighter or leave more passionate kisses, and she’d like a partner who matches her in this. Daenerys doesn’t mind roughness, she just doesn’t want too much of it. On the same hand, she doesn’t want a partner who treats her like she’s some delicate lady, and she doesn’t want to baby someone who seems fragile.

Emotionally, Daenerys can have a habit of speaking too frankly, especially when her temper is rising. She’ll bluntly tell you if she thinks you’re doing something foolish. While she’s comforting if you’re clearly stressed or upset, she isn’t the sort of woman to tiptoe around sensitivities.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Daenerys loves hugs, especially when you two are in private and have all the time you want together. She expects several hugs a day, and she gives different kinds: Sleepy lazy ones for when you both just wake up, a quick one just before you leave for your duties, a tight, exhausted one when something has frustrated her and a sweet, long, lazy one you get at the end of the day that usually has her dragging you down to a couch or the bed. Daenerys is quite short, so she’s usually resting her head on your chest or your back, depending if she snuck behind you or not. She’ll close her eyes and rest there for a while to catch her breath and enjoy some moments of peace.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Daenerys’ love is evident in her actions, her eyes, her smiles and words before she can bring herself to say it. The words used to bring up such painful memories of Drogo, the person she thought she’d be with forever. That felt like a different lifetime now, but the words still felt new, too raw. Even as they caught in her throat, she’d stop herself and think. She knew it was irrational, but she almost felt like she had to wait - for what? The right moment, a sign? For you? Dany tried to search her heart for the answer, but she just didn’t know.

Some time would pass before she said it, and then it would just slip out. She wouldn’t even notice at first, especially if you didn’t draw attention to it. After that, Daenerys could find herself saying the words with much more ease.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

She claims she doesn’t get jealous - she’s the mother of dragons, for gods’ sake. What, or who, does she have to be jealous of? Especially since men looking for power and influence seem to dog you as much as her. Still, there are some men and women who just get you to laugh or joke around, and that gives her angry little twangs in her heart. Daenerys doesn’t pout, but she certainly does something like that once you return to her that evening. On rare occasions, she’ll even get possessive, holding you close and giving you several hickeys as she bluntly tells you how upset she is with you for entertaining someone’s flirting.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

While Daenerys’ kisses tend to change depending on  her mood, no  matter what, they’re firm and without hesitation. When she kisses you, you can feel and taste the affection she has for you. Sometimes she’s frustration and hungry for you, other times she’s more solemn and wants to hold you while you kiss, but no  matter what, you never doubt what you mean to her. Daenerys wants you to feel the love she has, to understand what you mean. Each kiss she gives is a peak into her vulnerabilities and wish to be loved, and each kiss you give in return makes her feel that much more accepted. The nights you spend resting in each others arms and just kissing, enjoying each other’s lips and bodies, are nights that bring peace to her mind.

Dany likes kissing your lips, of course, but also to feel the heat on the pulse at your neck and the softness of the swell of your breasts. She enjoys it when you kiss her hands and cheek, like some proper knight, but leaving marks on her chest is her favorite. She bursts into a fit of silly giggles if you kiss her stomach and thighs. 

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Dany is wonderful with children, for a variety of reasons. They’re fascinated by her exotic looks and dragons, of course, but more than that, she has a sweet smile. She talks to them like they’re people, and expresses interest in what they have to say. Whenever you see Daenerys talk to a child and lovingly pat his head, you already know a tug of sadness is pulling at her heart. Even if you’ve reassured her, she’s sure she’s missed her chance to be a mother. She tells you her dragons are enough, that they’re her children now, but you know she’d be a wonderful mother to any babe she chose to keep as her own.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Daenerys is often woken up by her handmaidens, and that means you are, too. Some mornings you two wake up before them and spend time talking softly or cuddling before it’s time to wake up. Irri and Jhiqui would chat with you and Daenerys while they readied her for the day, and they’d do the same for you, if you wished. Sometimes the four of you would end up laughing at something silly or having deep discussions about the day’s work. 

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Once you two began spending time together, especially the evenings, Daenerys would dismiss Irri and Jhiqui. Instead, you two would spend time unbraiding and washing each other’s hair, dressing in your nightclothes and generally readying for bed. Daenerys loves to do your hair and makes no secret of it. You’ll discuss all manner of things, from what you read last to what happened during the day. Even when you two are arguing, Daenerys would want to resolve it before bed. She hates the idea of you being so upset with her that you sleep elsewhere.

Even with the candles out and both of you in bed, you don’t always sleep right away. You find yourselves still talking, whispering under the covers or enjoying each other’s bodies. Oftentimes Daenerys falls asleep while you talk, lulled by your voice as she rests on your chest.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

You knew the rumors of the Mother of Dragons, all sorts of stories as to how she became khaleesi, freed the Unsullied, captured Meereen, and so forth. You knew there was more to it than that, but you weren’t about to interrogate her. As you spent time with Daenerys, she’d begin to tell you bits and pieces of what truly happened, filling in the blanks in the stories and giving you a clearer picture of what actually happened.

However, it wasn’t until you two were truly close as friends that she began to talk about the times before that, before Khal Drogo. The painful memories as a hungry girl in the streets of Essos, begging with Viserys, all the things he’d tell her, good and bad. In the night when you two would be cuddling, she’d trace your skin while recalling Khal Drogo and the terrible night he and her son were taken from her. It would take time, but Daenerys would want you to know about her. She’d want to feel safe telling you.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Well, you know your dear khaleesi can have quite the temper, even if she tries to reign it in. However, you know it comes from a place of wanting to protect others. The angriest she’d be with you is when you’d take it upon yourself to root out enemies or investigate something in one of the more dangerous places of Meereen. She’d be angry that you’d done such things without consulting her, and you’d have to let her say her piece before you had a chance of calming her. 

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

With her numerous duties and ambitions, Daenerys isn’t the best at keeping track of all the things you like, such as flavors of wine or colors. Sometimes it’s quite amusing when Irri brings you a plate of food from her khaleesi, and there’s several fruits that Dany misremembered and thought you liked. It’s the same with clothing and trinkets - Dany is quite proud to show them to you, so you don’t mind, especially when it’s the thought that counts.

However, she’ll remember the stories you’ve shared with her, the parts of your past that hurt you the most, things she feels are much more important. She vividly remembers things shared between the two of you, like the way you smiled and blushed your first night together, and the time you both sat under a beautiful blue sky, eating a picnic and cuddling like all the responsibilities of the world were gone for just one day. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Although she has many moments and days with you that she cherishes, there’s a memory that Daenerys often returns to, especially when you’re gone for some time on a mission and she feels lonesome. It was when she realized she was in love with you.

 It had been a stressful time, and you convinced Daenerys to come with you to the rooftop of a tall building in Meereen. You had already laid out blankets, and you asked her to sit next to you. She had no idea what you were doing until you laid out and she noticed how many stars were in the sky that night. You pointed out several constellations, talked about the different names they had in the dozens of Essosi languages, told her the stories of the ones you knew. Daenerys ended up snuggling close and listening, but she was more focused how your eyes glittered and the way your lips curved as you smiled. 

She knew she was in love, and she was positive you felt the same. Now, whenever she was having to spend the evening alone, she’d look out her window for a few minutes and try to find the stars you’d pointed out before.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Even though you’re a capable fighter, especially with lessons from Barristan and Jorah, Daenerys still has her moments of worry. She doesn’t express them all the time, but you see it on her face when you announce you’re leaving to patrol a particularly dangerous place. Daenerys tries to play it cool as she all but orders you to bring an Unsullied soldier or two, and sometimes you let her. She can be quite overprotective, however, and she’ll become frustrated if you try to argue with her about the matter.

Still, Daenerys greatly appreciates your swordplay and how you use it to protect her. She feels safe in your presence, especially when you touch the small of her back with one hand and touch your sword with the other as you scan a crowd. She has complete faith in your ability to keep her safe.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

She often comes across trinkets that make her think of you, and she’ll tuck them away for a special occasion, but sometimes she wants to give them to you right away. Daenerys tries to find food you like on your birthday, and she loves it when you two can steal away for an evening and just spend time together outside of palace.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

You know that Dany can be quite stubborn, even during discussions with you. She’d never turn her temper toward you, but you recognize by the way she purses her lips and changes her tone that she doesn’t agree with you. Sometimes you have to pull her back from rushing headfirst into a situation, and she doesn’t always want to be talked down. 

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

While you always marveled at her beautiful dresses and jewels, as you got to know Daenerys, you were surprised to learn she cared little for them. They were gifts, things she had to wear to put on the image of a queen that others would approve of. She preferred clothing she chose herself, and those were usually more practical ones. Her real vanity was her hair, which she washed and braided carefully in the Dothraki style. You knew this was important to Daenerys, and as you two became closer, she enjoyed the gentleness you used to unbraid her hair and the feel of your fingers running through it. Sometimes you’d sneak in a flower or two in her braid, and she’d be delighted to find it hours later.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Daenerys would feel as though she were cursed, or somehow this was payment for something terrible she did. Another person she loved so much was gone. The hole left by Drogo would feel ripped fresh open, made bigger and more raw by your loss. She’d be noticeably more distant, impatient and dissatisfied with people, but she’d continue onto her ambition for the throne, albeit with far more steel and less warmth in her eyes.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

She loves that her dragons enjoy perching on you, even if you scold them as they try to steal your food. When they were small, she was comforted by how gently you handled them, and how they trusted you. As the dragons grew bigger and became less obedient, Daenerys could still trust that they wouldn't hurt you. On a good day, you could command them as well as her, although Drogon remained the most stubborn.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

While she understands that the world isn't kind, she has no desire to be with someone who is cruel or selfish. She also doesn't want someone who belittles her or her ambitions, or tries to talk her out of her plans to claim Westeros. 

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Daenerys sleeps soundly, although sometimes she murmurs and pulls the blankets if she's having a bad dream. She moves just a little, and if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she has to get comfortable before she can go back to bed.

[the-goddessfighter]

[Werewolf-Vampire AU -SEQUEL II: Gaman's Birth-]

 by : Little1993lamb

for: Temperans-sama / @the-goddessfighter

 Words count : 2071

Warning : mpreg, slight implied nsfw activities (just a hint)

 Disclaimer: Gaman, the Batarou love child, is Original Character created by amazing @the-goddessfighter. Not mine, I just borrowed him temporarily for this story at her permission ;D

 @koeharu @metalbatandzenko @dies-first @beautifulnightmareus @guppys-paw @ruby-ess

- II -

After nearly half a year since their wedding, Badd felt something strange happened to him: he becomes more energized when fighting but quickly lethargic aftermath, his entire body is glowing everytime he activated Fighting Spirit (never happened before), he craved Garou's blood more than usual (made Garou must replenished his fluid intake and doubling his meals portion), and his natural scent becomes sweeter (courtesy by Garou).

 Badd feels that he's more clingy to Garou, very needy and touch starving. He wanted to always be with his husband whenever he goes (not that Garou would complain about this, instead his pack members would be the one complained because too much PDA). Strangely, even though he's a vampire, he's becomes more territorial like a werewolf (Badd wondering if werewolfness is contagious to another beings?). And their sexy times... let's just say it's becomes more "hotter" and "spicier" than before (both really enjoyed that, especially Badd who's getting hornier than usual).

 Zenko, being their pack's Healer, also with the help by Tareo who's collected the informations she needs, researched the cause of Badd's strange condition from their late family ancestor's journals. It seems, while it's rare even for male supernatural beings, Badd is pregnant. Vampire's pregnancy is very different from human's: it's not visible from outside, from just slightly bump to no baby bump at all, never full baby bump, and the baby could hibernate for long time if the mom isn't ready to deliver them. Because of the baby doesn't grow too much in the womb, they'd be looked like premature human baby when born, but it's normal for vampires because they'll grow up quickly after the birth.

 Still didn't explain on why sometimes he got new surge of energy whenever he's fighting recently. They'd concluded it's related with interracial mating, so maybe new symptoms will be occured.

 Badd was crying happily hearing this news, while Garou hugging Badd from behind, enveloping him in a strong yet warm embrace, whispering a promise that he'll become a good father for the baby and husband for Badd, not forgeting to caress Badd's slightly bumped tummy. Zenko and Tareo joined their hugging and congratulate Badd, too.

 The whole pack member got the news on the next day, coming to their Boss' house to hold baby shower party for Badd. Even Bang giving him so many presents and nursery items, he's going to spoil his son-in-law who's still pregnant with his soon-to-be grandchild. Seeing so many people congratulate him and celebrate the welcoming party for his baby, Badd couldn't help but feels touched by their pack family's kindness.

 Back then Badd was still wary about werewolf tribes' rumoured barbaric behavior, now he's entirely sure that actually werewolf tribes are not bad people. In fact, they're the warmest and the most caring people beside his own deceased vampire family. He's very grateful he met Garou on that fateful day, because now he's surrounded by most loving people he ever had. Cue suddenly there's a small pregnant vampire crying so hard in the middle of party, that it shooked and confused all the guest, hence the said vampire's dorky werewolf husband must consoled him in much confusion, or the husband's father asking if there's something wrong in panic. Tareo just shaking his head at the hilarious scenery and Zenko instantly facepalmed so hard.

 -----------------------

 Since that day, Garou becomes more protective and attentive as Badd's Mate. He must proving that he could be the best husband and soon-to-be dad ever! Badd already said he's already good as he is, no need to exaggerate it anymore than usual. But as a natural werewolf instinct to satisfy their Mate's need during pregnancy, Garou will try to fulfill anything Badd wishes.

 The example were Garou asking what Badd craving at that time (G: "Badd, do you want anything that needs me going to hunt, like obtaining exotic animal's blood? Or more wild and bigger animal than we usually hunt? Or do you want a new pet beside Rover?" B: "Garou, it's ok, I just need YOU... and maybe a cat, please?" *then they adopted Tama, the forest cat*).

 Or build a nest for him (G: "Badd, do you need more pillow or blanket?", B: "I'm not a big puppy like you, NORMAL bed plus your cuddling will be more pleasurable. Come 'ere, be my fluffy plushie." *cue obedient WhiteWolf Garou as Badd's life-sized plushie while he's sleeping*).

 Or whenever Garou's friend or colleague meet them in inter pack's leader diplomacy meeting and seems to take an interest for Badd / checking him out, Garou will bare his teeth, growls, and snarls to his friend. Badd was very exasperated and apologized for his husband's sudden feral behavior (Friend: "Heyya Garou, what's up? Oh, is this your vampire Mate? He's really pretty and sexy, you lucky wolf--", G: *triggered, already half transformed* "GRAAHRGG HISSSHH HRRRGGH!!", B: *showing most tired exasperated face* Friend: *shocked* "Whoaa easy there! Look, I'm not hitting on your Mate, you can stop that, I'm sorry for what I said, Garou's Mate!", B: "Hey it's okay, I'm not offended at what you said. Sorry for my husband's feral moment, too. We're going home Garou, change back to normal again. Now.", G: *changed back, but not before gesturing "I'm-watching-you" to his friend*).

 When they're fighting enemies, Garou and the packs will try to prevent Badd from joining the battle (B: "HUHH the fuck y'all incompetence doing?? Let me finish them! See, I got more pumped up now! *activate Fighting Spirit, body glowing* Yossh, be prepared to taste my attack! Here I come-- GAROU PUT ME DOWN! I SWEAR IF YOU'RE NOT LET ME GO RIGHT NOW, NO SEXY TIMES IN THE WOODS FOR A WEEK!! AAAARGH GAROU--" *was carried back home with a lot of struggle*). It ended up with Garou sleeping on the couch for just one night, because Badd was still touch-craved so they went back to sleep together the next day.

 When there's outsider people or another supernatural beings entered their territory and causing some trouble to the packs, Badd becomes the packs' Scary Mother Hen: he'll come to defend all of the packs member who's getting dragged into the trouble and chase the outsider strangers away from their territory (*outsider strangers and pack members fighting against each other*, B: *flying approaching them fastly* "WHO'S CAUSING MESS THIS TIME, HUUHH?? FIGHT ME FIRST!", Strangers: "Oh shit, THAT'S THE MOTHER HEN VAMPIRE! RUN RUN RUN!" *run away*, Pack members: "Pack Mom! Long live Pack Mom!", B: "I'm not y'all goddamn Pack Mom, stop that!" *inviting them to dinner in Garou's house instead, like a Mom*).

 When Badd drinking Garou's blood in his pregnant condition, the smell and the taste of his blood becomes sort of aphrodisiac for him. So the drinking activity always followed by "more intensed mating routines", plus Badd activated his glowing Fighting Spirit mode during that time really tested Garou's werewolf stamina. Not to mention, Badd getting more and more hornier because of his skyrocketing pregnancy hormones didn't helping Garou at all. Who couldn't say no when your cute vampire Mate looking so delectable, begging for more "mating session"? Certainly not Garou. At one time he passed out for 2 hours from anemia (too much blood sucking) and exhaustion (too much session happened). Badd couldn't carry Garou to home since he's so heavy so Badd just waiting for him to wake up. Garou was awoken with his head on Badd's lap (thick thighs' pillow is heavenly, he never wanted to get up!).

 But despite all of that, there's one thing that really surprised Badd: the baby could feel Badd's emotion and expressed their own emotion by immediately giving a respond to Badd from the womb. When Badd is angry, the baby would moved restlessly or agitated (it hurts Badd physically and emotionally, because "baby no sad please I'm not angry at you"). When Badd is sad, the baby would moved very sluggishly (Badd rubs his tummy telling them he's okay). When Badd is bored, the baby would kicked playfully instead of moving (Badd ended up playing along with them, getting amused by their antics). When Badd is happy, the baby would moved very gently (Badd feels like there's flutter of butterflies in his womb). When Badd is in love or when he's making out with Garou, the baby would moved a lot excitedly (Garou couldn't help but leaning his head on Badd's tummy, happily listening to their baby, sometimes rubs his hands on it while embracing Badd from behind and kissing him softly).

 ----------------------

 A few weeks later, Badd feels like this time he's ready to meet their baby. So, he asked Zenko to help him deliver the baby by operate his body then heals him after that. Badd also asked Tareo to invite Bang so he could come to see his newborn grandchild. Lastly, he asked Garou to be his support during the delivering process. After he's ready, Zenko starts operating his body while giving him some healer's magic spell to ease his pain.

 Garou always beside Badd, never let go of Badd's hand, caressing Badd's face while kissing his head softly, giving some encouragement words to him. Even though Zenko already gave him pain killer magic spell, it's still feels hurt. But knowing he's surrounded by people he loves and remembering this is his awaiting moment to meet his child, Badd thinks the pain really worth it. Finally, Zenko succeeded to deliver Badd's baby. After Zenko cleaning the baby, she handing the newborn to his dear big brother.

 In Badd's craddle, there's Garou and his little baby boy. With smooth jet black hair, fair white skin, a small fangs peeked under his lips, and when he opened his eyes, it's beautiful bright yellow gold like Garou's. Starts crying, Badd kissing the baby then smiling to Garou, very happy finally they could meet their child. Seeing Garou's slightly amazed expression, Badd offered Garou to hold their baby, too. Garou then craddling him with so much care, gazing at the warm small bundle in his arms while smiling fondly, still couldn't believe that he's a daddy now. G: "What should we name our baby, Badd?", B: "...Gaman. We name him Gaman, it fits him.", G: "You're absolutely right. Welcome to this world, Gaman. Say hi to dad, father, and auntie!".

 After healing finished, Bang and Tareo with some pack members (Z: "No crowding!") joined them to meet Gaman. When Garou offered Bang to hold Gaman, especially when Bang finally craddling him, his grandson, he couldn't hold his happy tears while cooing Gaman and gently rocked him. Seeing his old leader and also father figure looked so happy, Garou couldn't help but smiling warmly. Feeling satisfied after playing with his newborn grandson, he handed Gaman back to Garou. When it's time for Gaman to sleep in baby crib, both Zenko and Tareo watched him from above with amazed expressions. Zenko promised proudly that she will becomes the best aunt for Gaman when Tareo tucked him in the fluffy blanket, letting him sleep tight more comfortable.

 After everyone was moved to another room, now it's just Garou, Badd, and baby Gaman who's still sleeping soundly. Garou laid beside Badd on the bed, cuddling Badd who's nuzzling into his embrace, enjoying their moment as newly parents. Slowly, Garou tilted Badd's face and kissing him deeply with such love, then vowed to Badd that he'll always protect his family, and will do anything for the safety of them, raising Gaman properly with love and care he deserved as a good dad, and also being a loving Mate for Badd, forever. Listening Garou's renew his love vow for him, Badd smiled blissfully.

 He also vowed to Garou that he'll always be there for him as his partner in pack leadership, ready to fight with Garou side by side to protect the family, raising Gaman with all the motherly love he has for him, and also being a caring Mate for Garou, forever. After that, he kissed Garou softly but intimately, slightly biting his lips and savouring the sweetness of Garou's blood in his mouth. Letting go of their kiss, Badd and Garou resumed their cuddling time, now with much contentment. They just happy their bond as Mates more stronger than ever, that the pack feels completed now after the arrival of Gaman, a new miracle and hope in their small happy family.

  -TBC-

  Notes:

 If there's anyone who haven't know about the origin of this WereVamp AU story and wanted read that, you can check them out at @Koeharu's blog where I've had submitted those previous parts as anon (TYSM, Cain / Koeharu!):

 1. Werewolf-Vampire AU origin story:

https://koeharu.tumblr.com/post/613597920369999872/

2. Werewolf-Vampire AU sequel I - Leader Initiation from Bang:

https://koeharu.tumblr.com/post/615478155965235200/

 Special thanks for @the-goddessfighter, @guppys-paw, and @ruby-ess, who always liking my Werewolf-Vampire Batarou AU, and even drawing many fanarts based on this AU in their own style! So thank you so much guys for the supports, I'm forever grateful for you all aaa I'm so happy 😭🙏🙇💕💖💝

 This is the illustration for Werewolf!Garou and Vampire!Badd drawn by @the-goddessfighter which is based on this AU and used for the story (they looked so beautiful in these drawings, tysm Temperans-sama! 💖):

•https://the-goddessfighter.tumblr.com/post/615593923960782848/

 After this part there's timeskip for a couple of years when Gaman is already grow-up as a kid, the explanation of his relationship with all packs members, and the plot will be heavier from there.

 So please stay tune for the next parts, I'll submit them to Temperans-sama who gives me a chance to write her beautiful Batarou lovechild OC, Gaman, into this WereVamp AU story. Thank you so much, Temperans-sama! I hope you like this sequel and wish you will also enjoyed the next sequels until the end! 😭🙏😚😘💕💖💖💝

-Little1993lamb-

[purplesurveys]

1137

created by: allwrongx - Bzoink

Do you have a bookshelf? If so, just one or how many? I don’t, actually. I have the most books out of everyone in the family, but they’re all either lined up or stacked in random points in my room because of said lack of shelves. Currently, I have three groups of books strategically placed around my room.

If you answered yes to the above, are your books ordered in a special way? Just by height since I have a lot of tall books like encyclopedias as well as smaller-sized novels and pocketbooks.

Have you ever owned action figures? I have a couple of wrestling action figures and I want to keep collecting more if my financial situation ever permits it in the future.

Why did you last smile? Andrew Ilnyckyj finally has a new cooking videoooooooo, which is the main BuzzFeed content I watch these days. I think his last one had been posted in January, so I’ve been feeling pretty starved for some new Andrew content.

Do you have a close relationship with your immediate family? I’m not close with them in that I don’t feel shy about kissing/hugging them or confiding in them; my family are not those people for me. But like we don’t fight (anymore) and we’re able to have pleasant talks over dinner, which is as close as I’d possibly ever get with them. 

Idk, we were ultimately never able to cultivate an emotionally strong relationship with one another, which I’ll always feel bittersweet about; but at least I now have a blueprint of how I’d want to build my relationships within my family, should I ever have one of my own.

If I gave you twenty bucks what would you do with it? Use it to pay my sister for the drawing commission I asked her to make. My total bill comes up to around that amount, anyway.

If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? Nope, they can stay in the wild.

Do you crack your knuckles, neck or toes constantly? I crack my knuckles the most and my ankles as well. Never my neck and toes.

Are you constantly catching colds or other sicknesses? No, I rarely get sick.

Is there a movie from your childhood that you still watch today? I do an annual Toy Story rewatch because it’s my absoluete favorite kid’s movie. I will also always be in the mood to watch The Game Plan, which I watched every single weekday after coming home from school in like the 3rd grade.

Have you ever seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Nope but this has been on my list for years. Just never gotten around to downloading it and finally seeing it for myself.

Where do you do most of your shopping? I usually go to small, independent businesses that sell trendy pieces for a lot less, but I also drop by H&M from time to time. Once I feel secure enough with my savings I also wanna be able to start shopping from Zalora because they have really nice brands over there as well, haha.

Are you afraid of mice? I don’t imagine I would be since they’re tiny and cute. I’m afraid of house rats, though, especially considering how big they can get D:

What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? I typically don’t get souvenirs for myself, but this is also because I’ve never traveled solo. My family collects magnets from all the different places we’ve been to though (and also from my dad’s work travels), so our fridge doors are filled with them. 

Do you vacation often? Yeah, my family would usually take 3-5 trips a year, usually around the country and sometimes out of; but of course we’ve had to put a stop to it since the pandemic blew up.

Are you comfortable wearing your pajamas in public places? The only place I’d be comfortable doing so is at the nearby McDonald’s, since I’ve seen residents from my village come in there wearing their PJs or housewear. Otherwise no, I’d rather dress up.

What's your favorite candy bar? Twix!!!!!!!! And while they’re not technically bar-shaped, I love Reese’s Cups too.

Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? Hahaha yeah. I have two copies of Twilight (one is from my boxed set, another was given to me by a childhood friend, Maryrose) and Breaking Dawn (one is also from my boxed set, while the other one is the special white cover edition given to me by Angela).

If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? Miss Saigon. That’s the only musical I’m into.

If you could put any person or characters face on money, whose would it be? I definitely want to see a woman’s face on a dollar bill or coin sometime in the future. < Oh man, this is a pretty good answer. We do already have women in our P500 and P1000 bills, but they’re accompanied by men :/ It’d be neat to see a woman take over a bill/coin all on her own, like Gabriela Silang.

The place that you'd most like to be right now is where? God I really wish I were out in a coffee shop right now but I have to saveeeeee. I’ve been meaning to check out this nearby cafe that also doubles as a co-working space (which means I can do work there without feeling guilty or anxious that I’m taking too much time there, yay), and I might visit next week.

Do large crowds make you anxious? Depends on what the context is. If I find myself in the middle of a stampede that’s quickly going ugly then I will definitely start to panic; but if I’m at, say, a concert, then personally a bigger crowd means a better experience for me.

Do you own a helmet of any sorts? None of my own, but we do have a helmet for our bike.

Will you willingly sing in front of other people besides your family? No unless a huge sum of money is up for grabs, lmao. I’ve only sang in public once, when my mom made me do a solo number on my 7th birthday.

What's in the box? Yeah, I’m not feeling creative enough for this question...

Does your family generally decorate for most holidays? No, only for Christmas.

Would you take the chance to be Nancy Drew or The Hardy Boys for a day? Eh, I’d pass up on the offer. Mystery isn’t my thing.

Do you eat soup when you're sick? No. I prefer to drink lots of water as I usually lose my appetite when I’m sick anyway.

Is there a specific mug or coffee cup that you have to use all of the time? I don’t have to use it, but I’m in love with the mug Angela gave me just this past Christmas. I use it all the time now.

Have you ever watched Doctor Who? No, but I don’t think it’s my kind of genre or show.

If so, what do you think is the scariest creature yet?

Do you prefer to do your shopping online or in person? If I already have an idea of what I want to get, I prefer to get it in person. But if I need something oddly specific and have no idea where to start, that’s when I start to look for online shops or go to Shopee or Lazada altogether.

If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? Angie Sage, with her Septimus Heap series.

Do you read tour guide type books before you visit places? It’s been a while since I’ve traveled extensively, and when I was younger I didn’t really read into tourist guides. Now that I’m older, I do want to start reading up before visiting a different country – not necessarily about the best places to visit, but more about the culture and practices I have to observe. I remember being reprimanded by a Korean when I tried to snap a photo of something I saw while out in public in Jeju, and I don’t want to do something like that again.

Would you please belt out a few song lyrics here? AND IF YOU TRY TO FIND ME NOOOOW I’M IN ALL THE ECHOES THAT HAVE FAAAADED OUT soooo!!! I’M MOVING ON CAUSE I JUST WANT TO FEEL FOR ONCE THAT I BELONG, THAT’S WHAT GOING ON

How do you get rid of your hiccups? I hold my breath, which is a trick taught to me by my mom. Not always effective, but it does work sometimes.

Is there one saying that you've adopted from someone/somewhere else? I’ve picked up “Awesome!” which was Gabie’s catchphrase. My former director also liked saying “Anywhoooooo” when she wants to digress, and I’ve since adopted that into my vocabulary and mannerisms as well.

Can you lie effectively and smoothly? Yes, but I feel like shit every time I have to.

Do you buy Halloween candy when it's on sale after the holiday? No, I don’t enjoy candy anyway.

Why is your favorite teacher your favorite? She taught beyond her curriculum - music, which isn’t even part of my top 30 favorite subjects - and always made sure to inject a little bit of useful life advice in all her lessons.

Who can never fail to make you laugh? Hans.

Do you agree with the "they're just being kids" excuse? No, especially if the kids in question are already 16/17 year olds.

How many pets have you had in your lifetime? Countless goldfish, one chick, one rabbit, one cat, two birds, and two dogs.

Were you ever afraid of monsters under your bed? Sure. Still am occasionally, heh.

Would you kindly recommend your favorite movie to me? Two for the Road shows a realistic take on love told through cars and a non-linear tour around Southern Europe. If you’re into that and Audrey Hepburn’s pretty outfits in each scene, definitely check it out.