Don't Call Me Stupid Part 2
Here is Part 2 of the "Don't Call Me Stupid" story. This fic wasn't originally going to have a second part, I literally wrote Part 1 in fifteen minutes. But everyone seemed really interested in one so here you go! Please leave your thoughts in the comments!
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Steve must’ve stayed in that position all night, curled up in his bed tangled with heartbreak and hurt. He woke up with a sore throat, dry eyes, and an emotional pain deep in his chest. He thought that Eddie was different from everyone else. Steve thought Eddie understood that he was smart in a different way. Less in book smarts and collecting clues, more in strategizing and connecting with people. For him to call him stupid just like all of the other people Steve had ever been disappointed by hurt him more than he had ever anticipated it could.
Steve needed a break from Eddie, the Party, and Hawkins. He needed time to himself to enjoy being a kid without any judgment or childish name-calling that always hit a little too close to home for him. Maybe it would be a good idea to get out of town for a while. It had been a long time since he’d visited his aunt and uncle in Illinois anyway, he was sure they would let him stay for some time as a vacation of sorts. All he knew was that he couldn’t face Eddie right now and he couldn’t talk about his feelings without sounding like a blubbering idiot.
With his door still locked, he pulled himself off the bed and started packing a travel bag. He didn’t expect to be gone for too long but he definitely needed a few changes of clothes and his hair care products. His mind may be swimming in hurt but there was no way he was going to take it out on his precious hair. He looked around his room one more time before nodding to himself and unlocking his bedroom door. He was good to go.
When he opened his door though, there was an obstacle he hadn’t anticipated. Laying on the hardwood floor of the hallway was Eddie Munson. He too had tear tracks glistening on his cheeks and his hair was sticking up in all directions like he’d been running his hands through it all night. Steve just shook his head at the sight. Eddie had no reason to be crying, he was the one who called him stupid not the other way around.
He tried to step over him as quietly as possible so as not to wake him up. All was fine until Eddie shifted in his sleep. Steve’s shoe got caught on the sleeve of Eddie’s jacket and he tripped which woke Eddie up immediately. He grabbed onto Steve’s legs like a fussy octopus and held on for dear life.
“Steve, don’t go! Please, talk to me!” He pleaded with him desperately.
“No, let go of me. I’m really not in the mood Eddie. I’m so stupid I probably won’t understand what you have to say anyways, right?”
“Steve, please. I’m sorry I called you stupid. It was a mistake, I don’t actually think you’re stupid. You’re the smartest person I know!” He said looking up at Steve with wide, pleading eyes.
Steve whirled around to face him, an angered glare resting on his face. “Are you serious? You’re mocking me right now when you’re trying to apologize?!”
“No! I’m not kidding, Steve! Your mind is amazing. You’re always seeing details that the rest of us miss and you’re always the first to figure out my campaigns even though you refuse to play with us. I’m always in awe of how your mind works, I really did not mean to call you stupid or to hurt you.” His words sounded genuine but they did little to chip at the festering wound Steve had been developing for years.
“Well you did. I’m so sick of everyone calling me stupid or dumb or saying I’m an idiot. I just want people to… be nice to me. The kids always make fun of me and I thought you wouldn’t but then you called me stupid yesterday when you knew it was a sore spot. It’s like you didn’t even care that you were hurting me,” Steve ranted.
“Steve, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention to what I was saying and that’s absolutely 100% my fault. You’re not stupid babe and I shouldn’t have said that you were,” Eddie apologized again. He unwrapped his arms from around Steve’s legs and stood so they were eye level with one another.
“Thank you for your apology but I don’t forgive you. You really hurt me last night and I’m done putting up with it. We’ll fix it later but I need some time to think about it on my own.”
Eddie stilled and his eyes filled with tears. “Are you, are you breaking up with me?”
“No, I just need some time alone because what you said really hurt and I need time to deal with that. I’m leaving town but I’ll be back later and we can talk about it then.”
Eddie nodded and pulled him in for a tight hug, a hug which Steve returned. “I am so sorry. Take as much time as you need, Big Boy. I’ll be waiting and when you come back, I’ll fix this.”
With that, Steve pulled away and made his way downstairs without a backwards glance. He could hear Eddie stifling his sobs and if he saw the tears dripping down his face, he knew he wouldn’t be able to leave. Steve grabbed his car keys and locked up his house before he disappeared like he had never been there at all.
As he passed the town limits, he thought about his friends. He didn’t have much in the way of family, his parents never really liked him and his aunts and uncles had other nephews and nieces that would always be placed above him. Steve liked to think that the Party was his family. That Hopper was the caring dad he never had, Joyce was the standoffish step-mom who liked him just fine but had no idea how to parent him, and the kids were all his siblings. He didn’t have many positive influences in the way of family but he was almost certain that good family members didn’t put you down unnecessarily. He understood sibling rivalries and getting on your nerves but that’s not what this was.
They knew he didn’t like being called stupid or having his intelligence (what little of it there was) questioned. He’d told them before, he tried to communicate his feelings like Robin told him to, but it hadn’t worked. Would family members continuously put him down like they did? It might be because Steve’s emotions were so raw but right then it felt like if the Party was a family then Steve was just an outsider doing anything to be a part of it but always falling too short.
He’d go back home eventually, in a week or maybe two. Once he could compartmentalize the hurt and heartbreak, he would go back to Hawkins and talk to the Party about why words hurt. Why the comments about being dumb and stupid and retarded chipped at his heart little by little. But for now, he was going to do something selfish for once and have a short vacation away from it all.
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Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡
So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.
At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.
Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.
I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.
So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.
If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.
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