#to be homophobic. like yeah no fucking shit people are gonna be annoyed oh my god cmon man

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman Groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, "homophobia", mentions of death

Desc:

Smiley: dude

Smiley: i mean, babe

Smiley: nah, i'm gonna stick with dude

Smiley: it's gonna take a while for me to be romantic cause lwky this is weird but we like each other so that's cool but also

Smiley: i never thought i'd date a dude

Mitsuya: you're making it weird

Smiley: but like, i'm less gay than other gay people

Mitsuya: not really

Smiley: no, no, it makes sense

Smiley: you're pretty, and girls are pretty

Smiley: so

Mitsuya: i have a penis

Mitsuya: and i'm a very obvious male

Mitsuya: but if this is how you cope, then sure

Mitsuya: besides. this isn't like, a serious relationship. we're goofing around

Smiley: yeah exactly

Smiley: don't fall in love with me or anything 😁

Mitsuya: you make it very hard to do so, so don't worry about that 🙂

Smiley: ouch, but fair

Smiley: do you wanna, yk

Smiley: wink wink

Smiley: 👉👌 👀

Mitsuya: ...what does that mean?

Smiley: ...are you pretending you don't know

Mitsuya: ?

Mitsuya: oh

Mitsuya: sex?

Mitsuya: dude, just say that

Mitsuya: you also forget that i'm less experienced than you

Smiley: you've been gay for longer though

Mitsuya: i've never dated anyone, Nahoya😐

Smiley: oh shit

Smiley: first name basis

Smiley: we're moving really fast

Smiley: i have commitment issues

Mitsuya: this is kind of funny. why are you tweaking

Smiley: being gay is weird

Mitsuya: you're bi

Smiley: doesn't change anything. liking men is gay🤢

Smiley: ...

Smiley: send nudes

Mitsuya: lol

Mitsuya: no

Smiley: c'mon 😏

Mitsuya: please don't use that emoji

Smiley: 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Mitsuya: dude

Smiley: ok fine

Smiley: come to my place tonight

Smiley: Angry's hanging out with Hakkai and the annoying ass duo

Smiley: they're both annoying duo's, actually

Mitsuya: there are a lot of annoying duo's here. but i assume you're talking about Mitchy and Chifuyu

Smiley: yeah yeah

Smiley: you coming?

Mitsuya: i'm a switch, by the way

Smiley: fuck that

Smiley: nothings going in my hole

Mitsuya: consider it

Smiley: no😐

Mitsuya: how is that fair

Smiley: i'm the man, of the relationship

Mitsuya: we're both men

Smiley: would you stop saying that

Smiley: ...am i being homophobic?

Mitsuya: yeah. i'm not surprised though

Mitsuya: i'll let you off for now. but i'm a switch, so i'll switch eventually 🥱

Mikey: so

Mikey: i'm not sure how you two haven't noticed that this is the groupchat

Mikey: but this is a heads up, cause things are getting 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂

Baji: you fucking idiot

Baji: Mikey i'll kill you

Baji: why didn't you wait till Mitsuya sent the nudes 🤨??

Hakkai: if this isn't a prank i'm going to kill myself 🤣

Chifuyu: LMFAOOOOOOOOOO

Angry: i'm so sad

Angry: why did i have to find out like this

Angry: you said we'd tell each other everything, Smiley 😞

Draken: i thought sworn brothers share secrets but okay

Draken: this is the second time this has happened

Draken: never telling you anything about Emma again

Draken: i'm happy for you, but i'm pissed

Draken: also

Draken: Smiley? of all people

Draken: full offense

Angry: hey🙁

Angry: Smiley's great

Draken: that's a blatant lie

Draken: he's great to *you*

Angry: 😠

Mikey: so you guys are dating huh😋

Mikey: never would've expected the 2 of you, specifically

Mikey: this is so odd

Mikey: i can't even make fun of this. i'm just confused 😭

Baji: Mitsuya should sent the nudes. i need blackmail

Baji: send them

Mitsuya: are you stupid

Baji: we both know the answer to that question

Mikey: can you guys tell me how this came about

Draken: is Hakkai okay

Hakkai: no

Hakkai: just jokes🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hakkai: Taka-chan, i'm very happy for you 😍

Hakkai: i'm not heartbroken at all😭😭😭💔💔💔😭😭👌💔💔😭👌🫶

Hakkai: this is all okay

Mitsuya: are you okay? i'm confused

Draken: Hakkai's in love with you

Mikey: Ken-chin💀??

Mitsuya: yeah sure

Hakkai: DRAKEN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

Hakkai: that's simply not true😂

Hakkai: that's so absurd

Chifuyu: you are NOT helping your case

Draken: Mitsuya would be dumb, to NOT know

Baji: where's Smiley 💀

Baji: bullied so many people for being gay

Baji: whole times he's topping a twink

Mikey: could be bottoming

Mikey: Mitsuya's a switch, remember

Smiley: i didn't "bully" anyone 😁🖕

Smiley: i just didn't agree with your homosexual lifestyles

Smiley: and i happened to vocalize that 🙂‍↕️✊️

Smiley: freedom of speech

Draken: didn't you call Takemitchy the f slur

Smiley: no, but i should've

Baji: i call him that all the time

Baji: i can say it legally, though

Smiley: cause you are one

Angry: Smiley😠

Smiley: he is??

Baji: so are you

Smiley: what about it

Hakkai: i'll kill you with my bare hands

Hakkai: who said that, lol😂

Draken: you can't do that. we're texting

Draken: we saw the text

Mikey: please tell me how this happened

Mikey: i need to know in full detail

Smiley: i need to know your mom in full detail

Mikey: first of all, lame👎

Mikey: i guess being gay made you fall off in the humor department

Mikey: second of all

Mikey: my mother is DEAD. the only details she has are her skeleton. now answer my question

Draken: you really need to deal with that, dude

Mikey: no need

Mikey: WAIT

Mikey: is this when we dared you guys to kiss

Mikey: did a switch flip

Mikey: a connection

Mikey: a spark

Draken: man, poor Hakkai

Hakkai: what's your problem with me

Draken: i'm here to talk, man. this is rough

Smiley: you know what, so what if i fuck twinks

Mitsuya: we haven't had sex but okay

Mikey: please break up

Mikey: this is gonna fuck up the group dynamic 😭🙏

Draken: i agree

Angry: guys!

Hakkai: i also agree haha

Hakkai: i'm joking. as long as Taka-chan is happy

Hakkai: 😔🫶

Mitsuya: do we need to talk, Hakkai?

Hakkai: no

Smiley: you snooze you loose, Shiba😁

Hakkai: i see

Hakkai: do you realize i'm in your house

Hakkai: Angry and i are in his room

Smiley: i'm always up for a fight 😈

Mitsuya: no??

Mitsuya: what are you guys on about

Hakkai: Taka-chan, forgive me in advance

Angry: i'll cry 😥😓

Smiley: don't

Smiley: it's a friendly fight 😁

Mikey: is it okay if i come watch

Mikey: is that insensitive of me?

Mikey: idk why i asked, i'm gonna do it anyway 😇🤞

[oathofkaslana]

is it annoying to see people mischaracterize your blorbos as an excuse to hate him or dunk on him? yeah. no shit. is it at all comparable to misogyny??????? ur fucking insane.

people get so annoying when it comes to otto and kallen's friendship in such weird ways half of you just sound homophobic or misogynistic and the other half refuse to genuinely understand either character as individual characters

[star-dust-shark]

pjo incorrect quotes as things me and people I know have said on crack

Jason: these grapes are funky

Leo: these grapes are fucky

Leo: *drops sandwich, cries*

-

Nico: I will never forget the fact that Piper and I where sitting together with headphones on and she looked up only to see me playing air guitar and head banging to whats my age again

-

Solangelo: *kith*

Will: *walking away with a dorky grin*

Will: *almost gets hit by car*

Will: *gets home and screams into pillow for twenty minutes, then picks up diary and writes like five pages about Nico, then texts him for like an hour and a half and afterwards draydreams about him*

Will: hmm I think I might like Nico

-

Leo: imagine having sex and someone moans like a hentai girl lol

Percy: *moans* KyAAaaaAAHHHhhhhhh

-

Reyna: bro apologized like Colleen Ballinger

Reyna: like fuck off I hope you die

Percy: tOxiC GosSiP tRaiN

Jason: not a groomer

Leo: *hair flip* just a loser

-

Piper: Im horny- I mean horngry- I mean- *cries*

-

Nico: mentally I am a fifty year old man

Will: yeah totally not obvious mister motley crue

-

Leo: jason

Leo: I have something to tell you

Jason: yeah?

Leo: Im gay

Jason: WHAT

Jason: NO WAY THATS CRAZY

-

Annabeth: my wrist hurts

Percy: emooooooooooo

Annabeth: I literally sprained it wtf

-

Hazel: no you cant commit mass genocide Nico

Nico: its pride month this is homophobic

-

Reyna: okay how about we play the quiet game

Reyna: whoever wins gets my two dollars

Reyna: three, two, one, ghost town

Frank:

Leo:

Percy:

Annabeth:

Jason:

Nico:

Leo: *face red, fists clenched, rocking back and forth*

Everyone: *concerned looks*

Leo: I cant- IM A BITCH IM A BOSS IM A BITCH AND A BOSS AND I SHINE LIKE GLOSS

-

Piper: your moms hot

Jason: lol what she ugly asf

-

Will: im concerned with your eating habits, Nico

Nico:

Will: its very serious Im kinda scared

Nico:

Nico: womp womp

-

Jason: would you suck my dick if-

Percy: yes

Jason:

Jason: if there was poison in it and I would die if you didnt

-

Leo: ive learnt something interesting

Leo: my arm skin one day may be cut off and turned into a penis

Leo: therefore...

Leo: *bumps arm into Jason*

Leo: JESUS JASON STOP TOUCHING MY PENIS

Jason: WHAT

-

*talking on tumblr*

Hazel: wyd

Frank: jus on tumblr and talking to you

Hazel: lol nerd imagine

-

Hazel: *bats eyelashes* what does gyat mean

Frank: uhh It means generous young amazing t-

Leo: GORL YA ASS THEEK

-

Rachel: Im so single

Will: skill issue? L ratio? no rizz? no game? no bitches?

-

Percy: I havent taken my meds

Annabeth: oh no good gods

Percy: so that means

Percy: I will either try to kill myself orrrrr

Percy: like violently fuck someone

Jason: I volunteer

Jason: I volunteer as tribute

-

Nico: hey girl *winks* r u a racoon

Nico: bc Im trash

Nico: *bursts into tears*

-

Annabeth: *walks into bathroom, sees spider*

Annabeth: *yelps* oh

Annabeth: hello mister spider

Annabeth: youre not so bad

Spider: *moves*

Annabeth: FUCK NAH PERCY WERE MOVING PACK YO BAGS

-

Jason: *hits knee* oh fuck- my knee-

Leo: okay

Jason: *scared* ur gonna fuck my knee????

-

Thalia: I am now a tree a tree I am a tree is me

-

Nico: im actually kinda insecure about my knees weirdly enough

Will: aww bb :(

Will: well I think you uh

Will: ...have beautiful knees???

-

Nico: *jokingly* I can read your mind

Will: oh no

Will: oh shit

Will: thats not good

Nico: it cant be that bad

Will:

Nico: are these thoughts about me, per chance?

Will: WHAAAAT NOOO *hangs up*

-

Leo: daddy hands, twig nerd bod

-

Leo: im confused why can girls call their friends girlfriends but whenever I call Jason my boytoy twink malewife manwhore someone gets pissed

-

Hazel: yeah, this guys really annoying me

Frank: ugh im gonna fist him

Hazel: ...

Frank: what

Frank: like beat him up?

Hazel:

-

Percy: my friend thinks youre cute

Annabeth: what? who?

Percy: me

Percy: Im the friend

Percy: I think ur cute

-

Nico: so weird when someone comforts you

Nico: like why

Nico: just lemme be a moody emo brooding sad angsty depressed boy for a bit

-

Piper:

Leo:

Piper:

Leo:

Piper:

Leo: *in toad voice* BItCH i SaiD wHaT i sAiD iD rAthEr bE FaMoUs InsTeAd iD LeT aLL Of ThAt GeT To MY heAd I DonT cArE ILL pAinT tHe ToWn ReD

-

Nico: *crafting with scissors*

Percy: *walks in*

Percy: what are you doing

Nico: ...crafting?

Percy: oh okay I thought you where cutting yourself

Nico:

Nico: IM MAKING A HELLO KITTY ART PIECE

-

Leo: *glares*

Frank: *glares back*

Frank and Leo: *glaring at eachother*

Leo: omg I just felt sparks

Frank: DUDE STFU WTF

-

*sees gay porn*

Will: thats it im homophobic

-

Nico: so I wrote this song

Nico: *adjusts mic, positions guitar*

Nico: *deep breath*

Nico: *strums single chord* my whole family died

Nico: thank you, thank you

-

Nico: just realized the only physical contact Ive had in like a whole month was Leo dabbing me up

-

Jason: straights ask why theres no straight pride month but like

Jason: isnt there a toyota month or smth

Jason: id say that works

[wrathfulmercy]

Send 💬 + a rumor and my muse will react to it. - Rick hears a rumour Sam is dating someone (amusingly it's likely to be a rumour about seeing Sam seeing Rick, but let's just assume he thinks it's another man 😂))

Send 💬 + a rumor and my muse will react to it from here @mettleborn

“Sam? You gotta be joking.” Rick replied with his hand nervously tapping against the wooden table they were sitting on while Carlson couldn’t stop grinning about the tea he apparently just spilled. “I’m telling you! Thought he was the cunt kinda guy as well but… we all gotta make mistakes don’t we?” The way Carlson said it wasn’t actually homophobic or so Rick hoped but his damn stupid smirk before he drowned his whiskey wasn’t actually bringing any ease to Rick’s mind right now. No, he was pissed because he knew exactly that if these rumors were true and Sam was seeing someone - a guy - then it was serious. He tried to keep it cool but probably looked like someone just shit on his face, his scoff obviously an annoyed one he tried to overplay with a fake smile.

“Yeah, mistakes. We all make them.” Rick mumbled, thinking how he probably made the biggest one by falling for a man again and starting to trust him. In shame he hid behind his glass of bourbon as he suddenly noticed Sam coming into that same damn bar they were sitting in. This had to be a fucking joke, right? “Oh fuck me.” Rick cussed and added “Do we have an annual employee of the year meeting tonight or what?”

“Oh fuck he’s coming here, don’t mention it Grimes. You know how these stories need to stay a secret when it’s personal. I’m gonna head over to the bar, that chick over there looks just about right for me tonight.” Carlson got up and wasn’t only in a hurry cause he was scared to miss a new opportunity to fill his sheets tonight, but because he was probably scared that Sam would knock his teeth out if he found out about him spilling some facts. “Yeah, have fun.” Rick murmured more to himself and in that moment Sam had already reached his table with that damn adorable smile while Carlson was long gone.

“You here? Alone?” Rick asked as Sam sat down next to him, gaining nothing but a confused glare back. No, he couldn’t take it. Not tonight and not ever. Instead of letting the other man speak, Rick just waved him off and drowned the rest of his drink in an angry matter. “You know what? Just talk to someone else. Maybe to that sweet little lover you got yourself cause one is obviously not enough for the poor starving man you actually are.” In a provocative manner Rick smashed the glass on the table and got up, grabbing his coat from the chair to hide within its black fabric so he could disappear in the darkness not only the club but night provided outside.

He needed to breathe, ball his fists within his pockets before anybody would see this. This was fucking ridiculous. First he ran into fucking Carlson who was just another former partner he used to share a mission with, but then fucking Sam. Coming in looking gorgeous as ever and as if he just has the best fuck of his life that made him a little too happy for Rick’s taste. Fuck how much he hated that. Why did that man look so good? Why did he smile that way? Why the fuck did he have the audacity to come up to Rick as if he couldn’t wait to tell him about his new favorite lover? To hell with him.

“Mistake.” Rick cussed to himself in a teasing manner while he walked around the dark corner that led straight to his hotel room for the night. Man, this night should have looked different than that. Maybe he should start seeing other people too again? But what if he didn’t want to? Lost in thoughts and with eyes that suddenly started burning as if he was about to fucking cry over a man who should have been known to be a mistake, he didn’t realize as he suddenly bumped into another frame and only as he looked up to apologize firmly, he recognized the eyes that were staring at him still with the same confusion and maybe now filled with anger. “You gotta be fucking kidding me.” Rick rolled his eyes and stepped back, his hands secretly fiddling with nails digging into the flesh of his inner palm out of nervousness. “What do you want, Sam? Do you not have another fucking idiot to play with tonight?”

[goremet-chef]

random little (very long) vent thing lamaoo

my birthday is soon and im like. IDK ive just been incredibly fucked up recently with like. anti trans legislation and general negativity, so ive been trying to keep away from twitter since thats where i see most of it

last year, my mother had me come get my cake with her and to my surprise it said "happy birthday dominic" and i couldve cried, like i was wearing my face mask cuz it helps my dysphoria but holy shit i was smiling so hard

she said dominic when she sang my bday song with my siblings and it made me really happy

she hasnt called me dominic since, and whatever im like. im not really over it but i will say and act like i am because it prevents me from dwelling on unnecessary pain yknow?

i guess recently she's had a change of heart, cuz she told my sibling that she wants to start calling me by dom and that she doesnt want me to hide who i am from her, and i know what she means definitely

ive been very like.. closed off? especially since her bf came back (he fucking sucks i hate him) i just havent spent time with her or anything unless hes gone cuz i definitely dont feel comfortable being myself around him

anyways this is pretty cool all things considered. i have told her before that i knew she wasnt gonna be part of my journey and ive accepted that, and usually i say shit and she just ignores it but maybe she actually heard that and listened

so, dominic is having his 4th bday soon and im happy about that, but like.. we're gonna go do mini golf for my bday which is a surprise! because i mean. if you know me, i dont really like to leave the house, like at all. i guess thats kinda how covid affected me? theres no reason to leave the house anymore so i guess i wont (and i guess it worked cuz i havent gotten it) but it was like. so horrible for my mental health

like i always said "oh, yeah, i dont mind being inside id prefer to not go outside anyways" and thats true but its like. doubled my social anxiety somehow. im normal in public until theres people around me or god forbid interacting with me 💀💀 the way i act when i have to buy my own shit is awful, i get sweaty and i stutter and i shake, i need to take a long breath after it fucking sucks it feels awful. JUST TO LIKE. PUT SOMETHING AT THE CASH REGISTER AND AHVE THEM ASK IF I WANT A REWARDS CARD OR WHATEVER THATS ITTT it sucks

so yeah im surprised i agreed to it, but its glow in the dark minigolf and one thing about me is i love minigolf and i love glow in the dark im gonna have a five nights at freddy moment (which means i gotta wear my shirt like i just gotta) and im sure itll be great fun (pleased about glow in the dark cuz im sure itll be. DARK in there and i dont have to worry so much about people seeing me)

my problem is that im hanging out with my aunt as well and i love my aunt!! everyone on my dads side except for my dad is amazing i love them, but i dont know how she would be yknow? idk if my mom has spilled the tea about it and told her or if theyre gonna just put my deadname on shit this year again like. i dont know

what if it did say dominic? how would my aunt react? its scary to think about, im so scared to LOSE more of my family

i havent even technically lost my moms side, its just that theyre a bunch of racist queerphobic losers and i know if they knew me, they wouldnt want me anymore

yeah im just stressed about it, all this shit is starting to pile up inside of me and i feel like ill explode and jsut say fuck everyone im ME and i dont give a fuck what you think, cuz no, i dont

my immediate family that i live with knows, my grandma knows, thats all that really matters. the only benefits to knowing my great grandparents is they give me money on my birthday, and that might sound hollow or whatever but its true, they fucking suck

just gettin tired of this sht yknow? even now, there is a hostile on the farm!! my moms bf is so homophobic, most likely transphobic too

hes SPECIFICALLY annoying, all the shit i order comes under dominic and hes brought me my things multiple times so he knows, but he'll still say shit like "thats how females are" or "hello girls" and to me its honestly like

its FUNNY because its like the only thing he knows about me is that to him, im a girl SKFJS like genuinely. i dont share anything with him because i fucking hate him, hes the absolute worst. the fact that theyre married and hes my stepdad technically is something i just deny, im never calling that man my dad lol

anyways im thinking about getting a hip binder? i realize thats one of the things im insecure about, is my fat is at my hip and even when i bind it gives me a feminine sort of shape so a hip binder would be great

i realize that i actually dont care so much if im plus size, i just care if my body looks feminine or not

i will absolutely be your fat guy friend with no hesitation okay like that shit? yes im so content for now like that is acceptable, but yknow fat distributes differently so its either baggy ass clothes orr stay inside SKJF

okay im done talking thanks for coming to my ted talk you are safe (for now)

[simpforboys]

streamers 2

she/her pronouns

summary: y/n and vinnie stream together, just having a nice chat

warnings: fluff, joking about mommy kinks, language

requested by night-owl19 on my wattpad

part one 

"babe, promise me you're not gonna make any dirty ass jokes," vinnie grinned, holding his girlfriend flesh against him.

"i promise! the last one just kinda- slipped out," y/n laughed, playing with her boyfriend's hair.

a week after their "incident" the couple trended on every social media website. their comments were filled with jokes, but y/n and vinnie didn't mind. rather, they found it funny.

"okay," vinnie let out a breathy laugh as he let y/n stand up.

"i have permission to stream, now?" she asked jokingly.

"mhm," vinnie hummed, laying back in his bed.

y/n was taking a small break from valorant after she got comp and chat banned for calling out homophobic people. (a/n: this has happened to me before so annoying)

so, y/n sat down on vinnie's setup and logged into her own twitch account. announcing she was going live, she clicked start stream on obs.

people quickly began filling in. everyone soon noticed she wasn't in her own room, she was in vinnie's.

"hey guys!" she smiled.

y/nilysm: HI Y/N

vinniesbae: IS THAT VINNIES ROOM

"babe, i think they want you to say hi," y/n read some comments.

vinnie paused the tik tok he was watching and stood up, coming over to check it out. "hello!"

vinnie kissed y/n's scalp before laying back down. y/n turned back to the camera.

"okay, chat. i'm gonna be answering some decent, heavy on the decent! questions. so, ask away," y/n said.

-

"where's hera? hera is right here," y/n answered, holding up the cat for the camera. hera purred, curling up onto y/n's lap when she was put down.

"how long have you and vinnie been together? uh, i think about a year now. right?" y/n turned around and vinnie nodded at her.

"yeah, about a year. feels a lot longer."

-

ten minutes passed, and vinnie started becoming more clingy. he made y/n sit on his lap as they both answered questions.

"don't you guys have an age difference?" y/n read.

"i mean, i'm 22. so, two years." y/n nodded.

vinnie had his hands placed on her thighs as he smirked. he loved being with an older woman, even if it was a small age gap.

"yeah, vinnie definitely has a mommy kink," y/n accidentally said, immediately covering her mouth. vinnie blushed madly, hiding his face in her shoulder.

"babe!" he scolded.

"oh my god- i'm so fucking sorry. that was a joke! shit, not again!" y/n said, laughing her ass off at her boyfriend's embarrassment.

vinnieluvsmoms: MOMMY KINK PLS

vinniexy/n: I KNEW IT

y/nswhore: IS THAT WHY VINCENT IS OBSESSED WITH MOMS

-

after y/n closed the stream, she turned to her boyfriend. "oops."

"oops? i'll show you, oops," vinnie smirked wickedly, throwing her over her shoulder as he ran down the hallway.

"vincent!" y/n gasped.

"woah-" jett stopped dead in his tracks as vinnie flew past him.

the blond boy ran into the deserted living room before throwing his girl down onto the bean bag. she was laughing hardly, trying to catch her breath.

"oops," he shrugged, laying down on top of her.

"you're mean," she breathed.

"i'm mean? you just made another dirty joke on stream with 13 thousand people watching."

"i'm sorry," she ran her fingers through his hair as he laid his head down on her chest.

"they just slip out, you know? kinda like when we-"

"y/n, please," vinnie laughed.

"sorry!" she apologized, wrapping her legs around his hips.

vinnie didn't respond, just dug his face further into her chest.

"you're gonna suffocate," she commented.

"maybe i want to, after your jokes," he said playfully.

"i'm sorry, my love. i really tried, i just got comfortable," she looked down at him.

vinnie lifted his head as they made eye contact. it was darker in the living room, the sunset just hit.

"it's okay... mommy," he grinned, pressing a passionate kiss to her lips.

y/n grinned.

[autisticandroids]

ok how would girls au work because i feel like to keep true with the theme of toxic gender roles them being cool and butch feels very at odds with that when like the girl version of that would be like christian girl with an instagram talking about country life and her future husband like it would be an interesting combo for them because john would be like ur an inherent failure for being a girl but also the expectations are lower already for them compared to john and sons

yeah it’s like weird! but i think about it a lot. i made a big fun post with it here.

basically my ideas are a combination of serious (dean) interesting (sam) and self-indulgent (cas).

like first of all i think sam is an out lesbian and i think she came out during the fight before stanford. like, i think she told dean when she was like fifteen, but she told john the night she left. she spat it in his face, actually. 

i think dean is like. dean loves her unconditionally but is also lightly homophobic to her about it, you know? they were accustomed to sharing motel room beds as kids but dean won’t do it anymore now that she knows sam likes girls. dean is also like, weird to her about her interactions with other women, and also talks constantly about men, as though men-liking were a cool exclusive club only dean is invited to.

i think sam has like butt length straight hair and doesn’t wear any makeup ever but doesn’t like. wear mens clothes or anything, like she wears plain clothes that are cut for women. on hunts she puts her hair in a braid. maybe she braids a spiked strap into it like beka cooper.

dean is like........ dean is a lot like young, pre-john mary i think. think the song remains the same. dean is obsessed with performing masculinity, while at the same time terrified of seeming mannish or queer. she walks a weird line, and ends up overperforming both masculinity and femininity. she regularly challenges dudes twice her size to arm wrestling contests in bars, but she never goes out of the motel room without a full face of makeup. like she’s obsessed with doing both. masculinity for respect, and femininity for conformity. you know that thing dean does with his voice? the harshening? the intentionally adopted accent and tough guy tones? she does that too. and her voice is raspy, like rachel miner’s. she’s just as invested in her “heterosexuality” as canon dean.

she wears dean’s same green army jacket but underneath it she ties up a flannel shirt so it bares her midriff. she wears her hair like s13 mary, except that sometimes she puts it in little pigtails. 

cas is the easiest because cas’ gender presentation doesn’t matter at all except in how OTHER PEOPLE relate to her, so it’s less a question of “how would cas do woman?” and more a question of “what would it be fun to see other people/dean specifically react to?”

so basically like. jimmy novak is a frumpy feminine christian mom. still wears the trench coat and probably a suit but when i say suit i mean blazer, pencil skirt, tights, blouse (or maaaybe a button down), low-ish heels. long hair in bouncy curls (think rowena’s hair but no bangs and black). actually jimmy novak probably pinned her hair up in a slight updo.

anyway i’ve decided that i refuse to try and remember what actually happened with cas falling in like, canon, like how close he got to human. this au’s cas gets close enough to human that she has to start like. showering. anyway she can’t take care of the hair so it gets tangled in a giant rat’s nest and dean gives her a bathroom chop. she has to borrow the winchester sisters’ clothes, because she has to start changing clothes but also because she can’t fucking walk in jimmy’s heels or in that confining skirt without the assistance of her grace. 

all the winchesters’ clothes look baggy on her because she’s kind of spindly and narrow and flat as a board. like dean and sam have big shoulders, big hips, and big breasts, and cas has zero out of three, so anything she wears looks like a smock. she keeps wearing the coat over whatever they give her. she’s tallish (five feet eight or nine inches?) but dean is taller and sam is freakishly tall. cas could probably pass for a man alone but when she’s with dean or sam it’s obvious she’s a woman just because of the heights.

when she returns to angelhood at the end of season five, she’s wearing jimmy’s white office button down, but no bra underneath because the only reasons she would need one would be to either make her boobs look bigger or to hide her nipples and cas isn’t interested in either of those things and bras are uncomfortable, no blazer on top, a set of cargo pants that look feminine and form fitting on dean because dean is in possession of an ass and hips, but baggy and dykey on cas because she is not, combat boots (also dean’s), and the coat, and her hair is just like canon cas’ hair but way choppier because dean cut it for her.

anyway, dean treats cas in a WILD way, like. they do some intricate rituals in season four? they are dean winchester and castiel, after all. but after cas butches up in season five and then stays that way dean pushes it into overdrive. “i wish you were a boy so i could date you” shit. dean lets cas put a hand on the small of her back. she jokes that cas is her boyfriend. when cas sleeps, they sleep in the same bed, “since you can’t possibly share with sam, she’s a dyke.” also she called cas cassie a lot when cas looked more feminine but switches exclusively to cas when cas looks more masculine. like it’s this whole “”””straight”””” girl intricate ritual where one is attracted to a masculine woman so one coercively masculinizes her further.

sam tries to check in with cas to see if cas is cool with this forcible masculinization and weird gender relationship, because sam is gay and Understands or at least thinks she does. she also catches wind that cas is here to smash a lot sooner than in canon. but anyway cas rebuffs her because cas hates sam. 

tangent, but one of my least favorite things that happens in mid spn, starting i think in s6, is that they start needing plausible deniability for cas, so they start pretending him and sam are like, friends. like 6.20 “i did it to protect the boys. or to protect myself. i don’t know anymore.” like there’s all this emotional stuff where cas is clearly talking about his emotional connection to dean, but sam gets included in order to make it seem SLIGHTLY less gay. and that’s annoying because of the no-homo-ness but it’s actually more annoying because 1) i liked s5 cas’ bitchiness towards sam i think that killed and 2) if sam and cas are gonna be friends after cas was a bitch and called sam an abomination and shit, develop it! develop it! don’t just Say that they are.

anyway it’s my au and i say what happens so the plausible deniability “both the brothers are important to me” shit does NOT happen and cas is a bitch to sam throughout s5&6. they do eventually bond later? like cas still takes sam’s hell trauma, and sam feels like she owes her for that (even though it was CAS’ FAULT IN THE FIRST PLACE but sam is batshit like that). so that’s what kind of gets them to eventually bond a little and become friends and comrades. 

also sam clocks cas as gay. obviously. sam tries to inform cas about being gay. because sam too is gay. it only kind of sticks. cas doesn’t really understand how human societal roles work. cas has HUGE angel autism and i support her.

also as long as we’re talking about five and six, why don’t we deal with male lisa. so obviously the kid thing doesn’t work. the thing that lisa does that makes dean like :o is not “have a kid that might be dean’s” but “tell dean he was going to propose.” this implies that they were dating in the past longer than canon dean and lisa but oh well. 

however, when dean gets pulled back into hunting, she’s six weeks pregnant by lisa and doesn’t know it. cas immediately tells her, and offers to give her an angelic abortion. she accepts without hesitating and cas does it. the fact that this - cas taking ownership of dean’s reproductive organs in a somewhat invasive way, even if it was wanted - contributes to their whole.... season six..... dynamic. dean never tells lisa about this.

that’s everything i can think of. i have work in four hours.

[wolviecore]

Archie Andrews doesn't know a lot.

Usually, he's too busy sprinting carelessly through the playground, steal Betty's dolls so she'd chase afer him, and play video games with Jug, his second favorite person in the world, safe for his dad, to think about anything else.

But if there's three facts he knows by heart, had to recite them in any situation, without a pause, they'd be these ones:

Archie loves Reggie Mantle

Archie loves Veronica Lodge

Sweet Pea, the Southside kid who used to sneak past the tracks just to play around with them, hated Archie's guts since 1st grade.

The bonus fact, and Archie's pretty proud of himself for remembering, is that he started hating Jug as well.

No one knows when it happened or how, - at least Archie doesn't, - but they all agree the change of pace was weird as hell.

Sweet Pea went from latching on to Jug, carrying his raggedy, hard to come by toys around like they were precious treasures and not slightly used things Archie, Cheryl or Betty didn't want anymore.

Holding his hand tightly like Jug might run off, and scaring off the kids off swings so Jug could play more, to spitting angry words, stomping on his sand castles, and avoiding Jug when he wasn't bothering him in some way, until Sweet Pea's friendlier friends told him to knock it off.

" Now, I may not be good at math,'' Archie declares, holding the french fry he stole from Betty's tray (that earned him a face full of greenbeans), wielding it like a detective holding a cigarette while explaining a case. " But I know when shit doesn't add up."

Cheryl, as always, is exasperatedly fond at his antics. " Don't you think dwelling on the affairs of the past might warrant you some issues with the future?"

Betty hums in agreement. " Yeah, I mean, it's still weird, but... It's been years? Sweet Pea's an asshole, sure, but at least we won't have to deal with him in high school. Plus, you hated the guy right back."

Archie wants to say he still hates the guy. Has hated him since he snatched off the flower crown Archie gifted Jug and trampled it under his boots, not caring that Jug cried about it.

Contrary to popular belief, Archie's not a saint. He holds grudges and holds them long when he or his friends are wronged. Once its fuck you? It's fuck you.

But he knows better than to voice it because Jug gets unreasonably upset when they shit talk Sweet Pea.

" But you can forgive Reggie?"

" See, Reggie apologized, " Archie defended his boyfriend, because of course he did. 17 is a bit early to be an overprotective husband, but he wears the role well. " He was a jerk, but now he's hanging with us. He's changed. He's co-president of the Jughead Jones Protection Squad."

"... I thought I was co-president." Cheryl scowled, as if she's been betrayed terribly. " And if we're granting Reginald pardons, I demand that pink smurf gets one as well."

Everyone groans. Cheryl talking about Toni. She hasn't stopped mentioning the petite serpent since they were 7 and Cheryl boldly stated no one was to claim "her annoying wife".

Veronica watches Archie warmly, gently amused, and Archie wants to whine. He's a scary football player, not the adorable angry people she's most definitely envisioning right now. " If legs don't walk, we can't move forward, Archiekins. "

Whatever. At least they won't have to see Sweet Pea anymore.

"God fucking hates me," Archie grunts, watching serpent blacks and greens stride through the halls. Completely ignoring Ronnie's welcoming table too!

Sweet Pea stops to look at Jug, still a head smaller than every boy in class, maybe Cheryl as well, storing books into his locker then messing them up to organize them, a filsmy excuse, and watches.

"...He looks like he's about to cry, and I'm so uncomfortable. "

" God. I've heard about eye sex, but love making eye contact? That's new."

" Everybody shut the fuck up," Archie hisses, ignoring the simmering desire to walk up on that giant asshole and deck him across the mouth. " It's just two guys hating one another. "

Reggie rests his elbow on Archie's shoulder, shrugging one of his own. " I don't know, pumpkin, maybe you're right, but...People that hate eachother don't look at one another like that."

Reggie is amazing but he isn't helping. Not one bit. They're not going to help keeping Sweet Pea off Jughead, and thats clear. No matter. Archie's just gonna do it on his own.

He corners Sweet Pea and Fangs after basketball practice. They both look equally displeased with seeing eachother again, him and Sweet Pea, twin contempt glowering viscerally and promising a lot of pain at one wrong move.

"Alright, you Danny Zuko reject, listen up and listen well, cause I'm not saying it twice. Stay. Away. From Jug. You tormented him enough."

" Oh, and who's gonna keep me away, huh? You? Big, bad bulldog protecting his boyfriend," Sweet Pea spits on that word, with all the spite and venom in the world, letters hissed through his bared teeth, like it pains him to even say it. " So sweet. I think I'm gonna throw up."

"... What in the fresh and old fuck are you talking about?"

Sweet Pea pauses. " What are you talking about?"

"Jug isn't my boyfriend. Ew. But if he WAS, then what's your issue, huh? You homophobic or something? Damn, I knew you were trash, but I didn't know you were the whole damn junkyard-"

" GOSH," Fangs throws his hands in the air, positively done with both their shit. " He's NOT homophobic, just dumber than a rock. A trait you have a in common. God, just- remember when we were 7? And you asked Jug to kiss you on the mouth? So you could compare it with Reggie?"

"... Yes."

" You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

" I do, just," Archie shuffles on his feet, trying not to become bone white in the face, like Sweet Pea currently is. " Wanna see...If you know."

Fangs huffed, looking like he'd rather be anywhere but there. " See, Pea, I told-" they both blink, staring at the thin air Sweet Pea left behind, then continue to stare at him run down the hall, 'Baby? Baby?!' Panicked in his mouth.

Later, when Archie numbly helps Reggie and Ronnie through his bedroom window, laying between them on the bed, he has a long stare off with the ceiling. "...I may be stupid."

He leaves it at that, and they laugh at him, and Archie smiles wide.

[lazarus-lazuli]

Loki and Sylvie aren’t endgame and here’s why:

(SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 4 OBVIOUSLY)

The TL;DR version: The director herself confirmed that their relationship is not going to be romantic. I could literally just leave it at that. Please calm down and stop clogging the tag with outraged posts about something that’s not even happening, thank you.

But I also want to argue that the episode itself makes it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR that they’re not gonna be a couple. Hit the read more to learn why I think that. Or don’t, honestly the fact the director confirmed this should be enough to assuage you, I’m just actively choosing to be annoying at this point.

If you pay attention to the text of the episode, it’s pretty clear that no, Loki and Sylvie aren’t getting together. Heteronormativity in media may have corrupted us enough to jump to that conclusion (because in most shows a man and woman interacting for five or more minutes in a meaningful way = romance), but I don’t think that was the writers’ intention. Hell, if anything, the episode makes a stronger argument for Mobius and Loki getting together which I’ll touch on a bit as well. And while I do ship them I don’t think they’ll be endgame either since Disney is incredibly fucking homophobic and we’re lucky we even got bi Loki; the Pacific Ocean will be a desert before we get to see him with another man. 

So a few ways the episode told us that Sylvie and Loki aren’t gonna get together:

1) Ravonna and Mobius have a VERY important conversation in her office, not just in the sense of Mobius realizing “Oh shit I’ve been lied to”, but in the sense that she talks about their relationship. She makes a point to define their relationship as a friendship several times, while also making it clear that they have a deep emotional connection to each other - one that transcends time and space. It’s a type of relationship that often gets skewed as romantic when we’re talking about tropes, but no, in their case it’s set in stone that their relationship is completely platonic. Character wise the whole thing gets thrown away since she was very much onto him and proceeds to stab him in the back minutes later, but writing wise it was a very important point they were trying to make to the audience. Like, it was important both in universe and for the audience but for different reasons, if that makes sense. Since they established this strong connection between Loki and Sylvie at the very beginning of the episode - strong enough to cause a fucking Nexus Event - they also wanted to sprinkle in the idea that a strong connection does not necessarily equal a romantic one.

2) The main thing people took away from the conversation between Loki and Mobius was that Mobius was jealous - which, yeah, that’s valid and I agree. I mean he was deadass acting like a scorned boyfriend who just caught his partner cheating on him. But another big takeaway that people need was not only did the show itself confirm that Sylvie x Loki is gross (I mean for God’s sake they’re the exact same person; Sylvie was literally confirmed to just be the AFAB version of him IN THE COLD OPENING), but the whole idea of them being together all came from Mobius. All we know is that Loki cares for her - the feelings he’s experiencing are confusing for him because he’s a loner who hasn’t had any friends at all until Mobius and her came along. The one who’s defining those feelings by insisting they must be romantic is Mobius. This is to get under Loki’s skin because he is jealous. Loki never once gives into the idea of their relationship being romantic, even when Mobius lies about Sylvie being pruned just to get a reaction. Loki may not know EXACTLY how he feels since it’s all new to him, but even he’s not obtuse enough to think that he’s actually falling in love with himself. Mobius is just angry at Loki in this scene for multiple reasons, thus all of the romantic interpretation falls on his shoulders. He’s literally just jumping to conclusions. 

Also when he says Sylvie got pruned Loki just gets visibly upset for a moment, but when Mobius himself gets pruned Loki CRIES and is fucked up about it to the point that even Sylvie picks up on it. So make of that what you will (I will make of that that Loki and Mobius are IN LOVE). 

3) Final point: people got REALLY IN THEIR FEELINGS about the scene where Loki tries to confess to Sylvie. And yeah at first glance, it is somewhat set up like a romantic scene - someone actually posted “what in the Y/N x Loki is this” and honestly I had to laugh at that one because I agree it kind of has that vibe, especially since he starts the whole thing off by saying he’s new to feeling the way he does. But based on everything we know about them and everything that happened up until that point of the episode, LOKI IS VERY MUCH NOT ABOUT TO CONFESS HIS UNDYING LOVE FOR HER. His feelings for sure, but not necessarily romantic ones. He even has his hands on her shoulders - a gesture of affection, but not one that can be read as exclusively romantic. He’s just grabbing her attention, holding her there (since she does seem freaked out - maybe in her mind she thinks he’s about to confess his love, which is actually pretty funny). While there may be a misunderstanding on the part of the characters, I think the text itself makes it pretty clear that no, Loki is not in love with this woman. He ultimately just wants to tell her he cares about her and wants to stick with her through whatever happens; that they’ll make it through together. If you’re cynical you can be like “It was at the very least set up to LOOK romantic to bait the audience” and yeah, I see it too. That’s completely possible. Granted, instead of baiting people with a “OOO, what’s he gonna say?!”, it more so rubbed salt in the wounds of the people who have been queerbaited by TV shows in the past because all they could see was “Bi Man Falls for His Female Self Then Dies” which is bad so I can’t blame them for being upset. But given the context of the show it’s also very much not what happened. 

And hey, I’m just as affected by queerbaiting - I was a Magician’s fan for fuck’s sake. I know queerbaiting when I see it and as far as I’m concerned, if there’s any queerbaiting in this show, it is NOT coming from the interpretation of Loki literally wanting to fuck himself. We will be donning our clown wigs and big red noses for a different reason (that reason involving Disney being Disney). If you’re choosing to be optimistic about the possibility of Loki and Mobius getting together, I fucking commend you and hope you’re right. It would be really amazing and satisfying if they did. I’m not holding my breath, though. Sadly just because Loki x Sylvie won’t be a thing doesn’t mean Loki x Mobius will be, either.

Anyway, I hope this explanation helped to clear up the fact that no, Marvel is not advocating for selfcest and never was. This isn’t Johnny Test. I think it’s good to be critical of Disney and Marvel because they’re both very flawed, but that requires actually watching the content instead of making surface level assumptions based on what you saw at first glance, you know?

[literaphobe]

season 2 of she-ra rated by catradora content

the frozen forest: “aw, cute, you can turn your sword into stuff.” very interesting how adora has to literally train not by fighting any real soldiers in the horde just... catra. light hope scanned her brain and knew she wouldn’t bother to run after anyone else :/ which. is true. call her out!! she fights bots too but she has more or less no issues with them even though she’s no expert with turning her sword into stuff yet, but then catra comes out, and suddenly adora can’t even block a single punch because catra laughed at her :( AND suddenly her sword can’t turn into anything but a cup. why adora? are you thirsty? it’s even funnier because none of this is real, and adora KNOWS that none of this is real, but she’s still Affected when fake catra says her seductive “hey adora” and she decides oh i know! i’ll turn my sword into a d*ldo with holes! oh wait never mind, is that a flute? damn it now she wants to Serenade catra. that���s even gayer than wanting to have sex with her. “did you mean to do that? because if you did it’s a terrible weapon.” “is not! >:(“ adora’s comebacks are like. kindergarten quality shit. i would make fun of catra’s insult too but in her defense that’s not actually catra. so adora tries to hit fake catra with her musical instrument and it doesn’t really work so she tackles fake catra and pins her to the ground. and looks,,, low key aroused as she does it okay adora.... she’s not real please remember that.... ur already a furry please don’t also be a bot fucker “what are you waiting for? you gonna play me a song on that thing?” yes she WAS catra! that’s what i’ve been SAYING don’t be mean to your girlfriend when she’s trying to serenade you :( adora gets angry after this latest act of oppression so she raises her hand, about to hit fake catra, but she stops right before the weapon can make contact, and her face softens. “i knew you couldn’t do it.” fake catra fades and the audience finds out something adora already knew. none of this was real, and even if she had hit fake catra and killed her, real catra would be fine. And Yet,,,,, big fucking sigh bros. haha y’all ever so hung up on a chick that you can’t even kill a fake simulation of her? even though she’s your enemy? lmaoooooo anyway the training simulation ends and adora is so depressed she transforms out of her she-ra form and asks “did you have to make her so mean? :(“ even tho light hope is about to come out and yell gay slurs at her. light hope shows up and is very confused. is catra... not mean? was my catra ooc miss adora? :/ did this catra hit different? too hostile? not like what ur used to? :/ go to hell adora if you made catra into a sim and picked her defining trait it WOULD be MEAN god everyone’s a critic. and then adora is like ok ur right :( catra is mean.... but have you considered making your simulation’s fake catra one that will hold me gently in her arms? have you considered that maybe i don’t want to fight her and that i want to kiss her instead? god damn it light hope you bitch. you fucking homophobe.

light hope is like okay cool. this latest performance was ur worst one btw and adora is like why do you THINK and is like i wanna be the very best :( like no one ever was :( and protecc etheria :( “but catra, she’s just in my head” ;) oh yeah i bet she is adora JFJSJDJSJD “when you grow up with someone, they know how to push your buttons :(” that’s very true adora. but you also grew up with many people such as lonnie, rogelio, and kyle. and you don’t seem to give a shit about them :/ so i guess “grow up with someone” really means “be in love” huh. i love you but do NOT lie to me ever again. after this, we see the real catra :’) she’s back at the horde training kyle, lonnie, and rogelio. “she-ra is too strong to defeat with force alone. but she’s slow and easily manipulated.” yeah maybe for you! maybe she slows down when she fights you because ur pretty and ur voice is sexy! way to flex ur privilege :( not everyone can manipulate she-ra because she’s not in love with all of them ok :( just u :( later on, we’re back at the war meeting in bright moon. bow says “we’re defeating the bots, but more keep coming. while we’re using our resources to hold our borders, the horde hasn’t had to deploy a single soldier.” hey! that’s a perfectly normal statement right! one that does not mention any specific person. there should be no reason for anyone to respond to this by bringing up any individual. guess what adora says. guess what she fucking says. i’m so fucking done oh my god. “typical catra >:(“ did... did bow MENTION catfkakdjsjdjsjs????? i’m fucking WHEEZING. adora. baby. could u. like. chill out? :/ re catra? for like one second? no? okay guess i’ll have to live with it. adora is so hung up over the “hey adora ;)” she heard from fake catra during training that she has to repay the favor when she fights entrapta’s upgraded bots. adora looks into the camera of one of the bots and just. she just KNOWS catra is watching and she’s correct. and she’s like “hey catra ;)” before punching the camera and cutting the live stream. catra’s response isn’t to immediately ditch the horde and go kiss adora (booooooo) but to. try and explode she-ra using one of the other bots. okay. i guess we all cope with arousal in different ways :/ when the bot explodes and adora realizes her attempt at seduction did not work out the way she intended (press f to pay respects), she gets all “>:( catra” which is very cute and iconic of her. and it’s apparently her way of coping with the situation so i’ll just let her be! 9/10

ties that bind: fuck you swift wind. what the FUCK. i can’t believe adora had to go on some stupid quest with the horse all because she would be fiFTy sEVeN pERcenT mOrE eFFeCtivE with him. who gives a shit. catra getting kidnapped and tied up is clearly the superior plot here and adora wasn’t there for it?? which, i know is the whole point, but also, why did they have to put her with the horse. would’ve rather seen adora with literally any of the princesses instead. haha jk. but also, am i? it is important that adora gets over her hatred of swift wind and bonds with him. but also, is it? sigh, let’s get on with the show. bow and glimmer set out to go bring back entrapta. “let’s go get adora!” bow baby. u r so woke. i love that attitude. yes y’all should’ve absolutely brought adora along. no she was not doing anything important. “adora’s training!!!!” glimmer baby i love u but why :( why would u do this :( anyway, bow and glimmer get tricked into thinking the horde is torturing entrapta so they (accidentally) kidnap catra. bow is an absolute sweetheart who just. is sweet to everyone so he tries bonding w catra and is like “come on, i bet even the horde has friends. what about adora? :3 you two grew up together. what was she like as a kid? :3” because adora is bow’s best friend and he wants to know more about her <3 best boy <3 and catra just hisses at him because if she spoke she would probably say. adora was everything to me. adora made me laugh, she played with me, she took care of me, she protected me even when everyone else looked the other way. just seeing her would put a smile on my face. she held my hand. she hugged me. she was my shoulder to cry on. adora was the only good thing in my life at the horde. i have been in love with her my entire life. and now she’s she-ra. anyway. catra decides to annoy glimmer into letting her go, and glimmer gets so frustrated that she says “how did adora take years of this? she didn’t run away from the horde. she ran away from YOU” which. is about the most horrifying thing you could say to catra since she like. really believes that. and adora’s not even there to defend herself :( and say shit like. Well It Helped That I Was In Love With Catra And That Every Moment We Spent Together Was Filled With Laughter And Joy Because No One Else Has Ever Made Me This Happy Even When We Were Stuck Together In The Worst Place On Etheria—stuff like that u know? :/ anyway catra is like :’( —> >:’( “adora’s gonna dump u one day too glimmer!!” + “you and adora are perfect for each other, i’ll give you that. earnest, naive, ridiculously easy to manipulate. it’s adorable!” wow catra. u think…… adora…. is…. adorable? wow…. :’) djdjdjdjdjdj but yeah. she really said my gf is cute! my gf is earnest! and that’s pretty much it on the catradora front. notice how i didn’t say a word about the horse plot. yeah. :) i mean i physically couldn’t because this is a catradora based evaluation post. but ya. u get the point. 7/10

signals: huh! nothing! except when glimmer says “catra was right!” and adora’s face is like... u kno. u know how she gets when catra is suddenly brought up. 2/10 but the whole ghosts thing is cute. adora believing and wholeheartedly being scared of ghosts makes me think... catradora buzzfeed unsolved AU

roll with it: the absolute RIGHTS of this episode. adora planning obsessively because “you’re not taking the biggest variable into account :( catra </3 she’s been behind every horde plan, she led the attack on bright moon, she’s devious, she’s very cute—“ and everyone is like omg adora calm down,,,, okay fine we’ll fantasize about ur gf. so everyone is all: this is my catra headcanon <3 glimmer is like. catra is a sexy femme fatale. bow is like. catra and i would make so many sick fucking puns. and adora is like :( y’all are all headcanoning catra WRONG :( she’s sexy and funny and cute the Way She Is :( why mess with the original recipe? :( except she’s wrong because season 4 and 5 will exist one day. but she is not wrong because season 1-3 catra is also very good. adora u do u. have fun laughing at everyone’s interpretations of ur gf. go ahead and brag about how uve been in love w her ur entire life. adora is like. all ur plans suck. obviously catra would block or duck or jump up really high or look really cute or smile and dazzle u with her charms. how DARE you underestimate my enemy gf. and then everyone devolves into their cool plans again and adora is like CATRA CATRA CATRA >:( so everyone is like ok fine we are going 2 bully her. and we get this epic scene where they do impressions of catra, but it is visualized like: different versions of catra keep flanking adora, and she in that scene is clearly very seriously considering having a fourway with femme fatale catra, prom catra, and punny og catra. but in like uh.... a cool platonic way. anyway, everyone is like. hey adora. we know ur paranoid and obsessed with ur gf. but can we just attack the horde now? could you chill the fuck out? and adora is like. u wanna know the worst that could happen? fine. “i’m the heaviest hitter, so catra will separate me right away. trap me, take my sword, do Something so i’m helpless when she turns on you. she knows Everything about me, EXACTLY what i’ll do, EXACTLY how to take me out. they’ll overwhelm frosta and mermista with bots, they’ll fire on perfuma, and use her to draw bow out into the open, pinning him between the bots and the horde soldiers. glimmer will teleport in to save him, but she won’t have enough magic left to get out, trapping them both. catra will make me watch all of it before she Finishes Me Off.” which..... weirdly kinky, but okay, and also weirdly sweet if u think about it? like catra grew up thinking she was never as good as adora but adora even with her new she-ra powers now is convinced that catra is so good that she can predict and counter and overpower anything adora throws at her, even with her super-powered friends and allies <3 and she...... lets it paralyze her with fear and blames herself for anything that could possibly go wrong which is really sad and not good :( but stuff can be two things! and. we’re kind of trying to be gay here so let’s continue on the gay train <3 the princess alliance realizes that adora has major issues and give her love and support so adora is like oh nice!!! time to run in without a plan and stay true to my brute strength colors <3 and she’s so excited to see her gf..... only to find out, her gf isn’t there?????? the fuck???? she spent hours planning their fight date only to get stood the fuck up??????? she’s so distraught over it as she fights scorpia she goes through the five stages of grief. she’s like... catra’s really not here?? and she left you in charge???? and babe i get that ur jealous and upset that ur gf didn’t show up but hey :( don’t hate crime scorpia like that :( 8/10

white out: adora is upset that she hasn’t seen her enemy gf in a while so when the squad finds out that the horde is doing stuff in the north(?) adora decides that they must immediately go there in case the horde (catra) is doing stuff that she must stop the horde (catra) from doing immediately. and it works! they bump into the super pal trio! but before that, we see entrapta show catra the red disk that makes she-ra go RAGE and adora go floop. it’s basically a Make Adora Delirious/Drunk Crystal <3 catra gets an evil hate boner when she hears that the disk “takes away she-ra’s powers” and is like damn entrapta ;) why didn’t you tell me about that sooner ;) later on, the best friend squad bumps into the super pal trio! adora sees catra and is like. hey remember last episode? what the fuck was that babe. step the FUCK up. run away with me? <3 but here’s a more literal break down of what really happened: catra is threatening entrapta as she... tends to do when she’s interrupted by adora who says “catra! >:(“ completely ignoring that there are other people there who she should also greet. i mean it’s just manners u know? “it’s been a while.” is not an excuse. u haven’t seen entrapta either for an even longer time. and u had nothing to say to her? i get that ur gay and in love but have some respect okay :( catra is happy and decides it’s time to seduce her. we get yet another “heyyy adora ;)” for the books. adora starts to ignore everyone present again and banters pettily with catra about how catra lost the battle of bright moon, because you know :( she hasn’t seen her gf in a while :( and she didn’t get to rub things like that in her face :( and catra is like haha lmaooooo loserrrrr and it really pisses adora off so she’s like okay down to business then! go away >:( and catra’s like oh u want me to go away? make me ;) and so they literally. run away from everyone else. i’m not making this shit up they literally said those things and just ditched the group. and both groups, who have not said a fucking word to each other since this confrontation began because the lesbians are so fucking loud and clearly everything they discuss is personal and not an invitation for group convo, they’re all left there to be like..... i guess we should fight each other now? and scorpia is like UGHHH goddamn it. and u really feel for her u know? :/ u try and u try to ask a girl out and she’s so stupid she doesn’t know ur asking her out on a date, but her stupid ex walks in and all she has to do is run and catra runs in front of her ready to go on a date. what the fuck. anyway, catra and adora are also fighting. adora’s better at transforming her sword into stuff now so she summons a rope (ok kinkster) to grab catra’s leg and pull her towards her and she threatens catra with her sword, saying “don’t move.” catra’s response? “oh, please. you’d never have the guts.” and god damn it catra it’s not that she doesn’t have the guts! :( it’s that she loves you and doesn’t want to hurt you! and also she’s not into necrophilia! catra continues with “you know, as much as i love our fights, it’s way too cold for this.” i hate them so fucking much. they really do get off on this shit!!! i hate them but also mood!!!! stop flirting with each other ur both so goddamn annoying omg. “why don’t we try something new? ;)” yeah. something new like hmm what if y’all kissed? haha, just a suggestion! but no, catra decides to use the red crystal thingy :( haha SIKE i’m not :( at all i’m very much :) because we’ve been WAITING for drunk adora. i love that delirious baby. what a fucking cutie. but because she-ra’s sword is the one who gets poisoned, she-ra goes all angry and evil and catra is like that’s hot! but it’s not what i signed up for but also... oh lmao she’s fighting her friends? nice. this is hot again. complacently, catra goes “this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened!” causing evil!she-ra to realize she exists and trying to kill catra for real, and catra is like NEVER MIND I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS and she’s like “adora wait :(“ which is like. babe no :( babe u were supposed to turn evil in a sexy way :( we could be sexy and evil together baby :( babe :( thankfully for catra adora’s not the only one who has a crush on her so scorpia tackles she-ra, separating her from her sword, and she goes back to adora. catra gets the sword, laughs, and says “that went so much better than i could’ve ever hoped.” did it?????? ur so stupid ur gf was about to murder u and u were ready to simp for ur life. then she goes “looks like you’re mine now, adora. >;)” and like. lifts adora’s face up by the chin with the tail end of the sword. and. let me just take a deep breath here. uh. What The Fuck Is That. HELLO?????? why is that. okay. HHHHHH. why!!!! good god!!!!! i hate sexual tension. anyway, catra tells scorpia to carry adora inside bc adora’s not wearing enough layers and she doesn’t want her gf to get cold :( jk but uh, they get adora inside, and catra is once again obsessed with her. she sits right next to her and pines like “always so perfect.... look at you now.... (i HATE how sexual this sounds) you’re coming back to the horde under my command.....” like. COME ON. why is she like this. ur allowed to be evil but i draw the LINE at u flirting with adora she’s not even AWAKE. and scorpia is like. could u. could u not be obsessed w adora for one second? it’s kinda harshing my vibe :/ and catra is like hehe she ra go >:( haha funney. we can turn the rebellion’s own hero against them. That’s Good™ i wonder which of your friends i’ll have you annihilate first... and then she giggles to herself and it’s so cute but babe. once again. stop flirting with adora while she’s out cold she won’t be able to flirt back :( and then the most. upsetting part of the ep happens. catra LEAVES and makes scorpia watch over adora before adora even wakes up so we don’t get! to see! catra with drunk/delirious adora!!!!!! what the FUCK. what is the POINT. i am DISTRAUGHT. hello?????? why were we robbed. whatever. it’s still good but come on not even one scene? :( scorpia is annoyed as she should be and is like UGH just wanted to be alone with catra but nooooo im stuck babysitting her “”””””ex-best friend””””””” which we all know is code for just. ex. LMAO fkdkdkdk like this isn’t even reaching we BEEN knew. anyway adora is being. so cute. so goddamn cute i am in love. adora barely even remembers her name but when scorpia is like hm what’s the passcode to the lab? adora goes BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP and puts in catra’s super long fave number. that is so fucking cute that she knows and remembers that and thinks that catra would use it even tho she’s not even. in the right state of mind. and scorpia gets jealous obviously like ohhhh u know catra’s favorite number and i don’t! u grew up with catra and she’s been in love with you her whole life and i don’t have that! fuck u adora. even when u and catra are fighting each other tryna kill each other u can tell there’s a real bond there :( and like scorpia I’m so sorry baby I know :( they’re in love and it’s very annoying :( and i know adora is very annoying but have you also considered that she is very cute? that she is so lovely? and yeah that’s why catra is in love with her and shit :( seahawk and scorpia fight over adora and adora is like. hehe. catra mean <3 she’s so mean <3 and so hot and cute and sexy <3 omg im gonna marry her hehehehe <3 both sides reconvene to fight the bug, and adora finds glimmer vaguely familiar but doesn’t recognize who she is exactly. but she’ll remember catra’s long ass fave number. ok whore. catra, who’s also stupid, sees adora and is like guess I’ll drop all other priorities to get her! and tells scorpia to find the sword because she’s going after adora again. she’s so determined to keep adora that she.... catches a moving arrow. and throws it away. fjdjdjdjddj DAMN ok sheer gay determination is THAT strong huh. but it’s also sad because catra’s so busy fighting she doesn’t get to see adora being super cute :( it’s fucking wasted and not FAIR. catra thinks it’s funny that anyone would expect her to willingly give the disk up, because she’s got control of adora now, and control of adora means that adora won’t leave her.... which is not healthy :( but also HHHHHH but also it’s okay because their relationship gets healthy in the future and that’s very sexy of them <3 the disk is broken by scorpia in the end, and as adora regains.... conscious???ness????? idk??? her sense of reality??? sobers up???? anyway she and catra exchange this one last very heavy look, right before catra is grabbed by scorpia 9/10, except i want to take away so many points because of the wasted potential, but also i wanna add back so many points because of “looks like you’re mine now, adora ;)”

light spinner: ewwww shadow weaver ewwwww hordak i’m so sorry catra baby so sorry u had to interact with them instead of adora :( 0/10 </3

reunion: I AM SO SORRY. I AM SO FUCKING SORRY. THIS EP IS SO GOOD. BUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE TO SAY THIS. THIS IS ONLY BECAUSE THIS IS A CATRADORA EVALUATION OK. therefore the rating is.... is..... :( 0/10 :( i know i am distraught too. :( despite what a masterpiece it was... there was no catradora :(

[bucksblr]

tagged by @leonzhng​ thanks for making me dig through my most embarrassing crushes 😭✋

i’ll tag @highwarlockkareena​ @yibobibo​ @lan-xichens​ @purplexedhuman​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @lanzhansmiles​ @nyx4​ i feel like i tag you guys in everything i am so sorry please ignore this if u don’t wanna do it !!

putting this under a read more for reasons

MEN 2010 – 2016

literally nothing more embarrassing than falling on the same type of white man over and over again (with the exception of minho from shinee bless his heart)

tommy joe ratliff → he was the bass player for adam lambert during his glamnation era (think of songs like for your entertainment and if i had you) idk why exactly i liked him so much but i just did.... however i searched him up again quite recently and found out he’s one of those republicans that says the dumbest shit on twitter so Big Yikes

harry styles → “baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell...” and BOOM 13-year-old me was sold for well over two years

louis tomlinson → basically i liked harry most until around 2013 when for some reason i started to like him a little less, and i got more focused on louis tomlinson, and although i didn’t like one direction anymore louis tomlinson always had a special place in my heart

ashton irwin → so ashton is 5sos’ drummer, i discovered 5sos through one direction & i stanned them until late 2014

harries twins → the harries twins (jack & finn) are basically the reason i started spending a lot of time on youtube, they were funny and pretty and they just had good videos in general, so for almost two years i’d watch their content regularly

choi minho → my first steps into kpop happened bc i was watching videos on youtube (most probably the harries twins) and suddenly i saw the sherlock mv in my recommended videos so i clicked on it and then 14-year-old me proceeded to fall for minho like an idiot

brooks twins → still youtubers, the brooks twins were 3/5 of the janoskians (jai & luke brooks, beau brooks, daniel sahyounie, & james yammouni), an australian youtube comedy group that was active from 2011-2018 though i was only around from 2012-2014 (when jai brooks was dating ariana grande)

jc caylen → surprise! another youtuber! jc caylen was part of o2l (our2ndlife) a youtube collaboration channel on which each of the 6 members posted videos on a certain day in the week (mondays with connor, tuesdays with ricky, wednesdays with sam, thursdays with jc, fridays with trevi (my 2nd favorite member bc she participated on the x factor), saturdays with ricardo, and then they had surprise sundays every week) and i remember how much joy jc & the others always brought me with their silly videos

misha collins → up next, you might know him as the gay angel that was sent to superhell after confessing his love to the homophobic hunter on supernatural, it’s misha collins! basically misha was a huge source of comfort for me, and i even went around calling myself emmisha for almost two full years (cringe)

henrik holm → he played even bech naesheim in skam and my crush on him reached that level of ridiculousness where i actually tried my hand at learning norwegian (i can only remember how to introduce myself and some curse words i would make a great first impression on him)

MEN 2016 – 2021

min yoongi → okay so my baby steps into kpop happened through shinee’s sherlock, but i only got really invested when yoongi dropped agust d 1 because Holy Fuck y’know??

kim namjoon → oh man i remember thinking namjoon was cute and a very good leader and then BAM he dressed like THAT at the 2016 mma’s and i fell in love. hard

park seojoon → i started liking park seojoon whilst i was watching hwarang (you guessed it, i watched it bc of taehyung), although he wasn’t my favorite character by far, but he was very silly off camera & i liked that (i’m not that into him anymore tho </3)

kim seokjin → OH BOY LET ME TELL U i liked seokjin from the very beginning (i got to know bts in late 2014) and i always liked seeing him perform and be himself and god once i realized i had a crush on him it just hit me like a mf truck, and he’s still one of my favorite people to this day

jung hoseok → god fake love era hoseok really hits different.... also yes i know i have all of bts’ hyung line on my list BUT bts was a really big part of my life for almost 6 years soooo honestly they deserve it i still think they’re great guys

choi san → when ateez made their debut in 2018 i immediately fell in love with san, he was such an amazing dancer and he captivated me right from the very beginning, to this day he’s still my bias in ateez uwu

xiao zhan → AND THEN, OCTOBER OF 2019 HAPPENS AND I WATCH CQL AND... i fall in love with xiao zhan, something i’d never expected would happen bc when i watched cql for the first time i wasn’t as invested in the story, but i really really really liked xiao zhan and one thing led to another and now here i am as a xfx

wang yibo → the thing is, i’ve known yibo since eoeo except i didn’t know cql yibo was uniq yibo (bc i’d forgotten his name) and when i looked it up i can tell you my jaw dropped to the floor bc holy shit????? also he is very silly and i love him loads ok

lee minho → ah, the man who has been my skz bias since 2018, not only is minho my bias i also kin him (there’s a lot of aspects of myself that i see in minho and vice versa) and he’s very comforting to me

bang chan → honestly, it was only a matter of time before i’d fall for bang chan, i knew the moment i got into skz again that i’d start biasing him and, well, here i am, double biasing chan & minho

WOMEN

this list is shorter bc i’ve in general always had less crushes on women than on men??? blame society forcing me into thinking i was straight for a LONG time

ariana grande → remember the 2011 layout of twitter?? where u could not only have an icon and a header, but also a background and ur twitter page was smack in the center of ur screen with the big ugly menu bar at the top??? yeah ariana grande was always my background for my l*rr* st*l*n*s*n layouts

perrie edwards → this was right around the time she was dating zayn & little mix was breaking out into the spotlight, yeah i just really loved her

andrea russett → okay so remember o2l?? andrea russett was kian’s girlfriend for a pretty long time and they always did videos together and i always thought she was super pretty

lily collins → maybe i don’t like clary in tmi all that much but i sure liked the way lily collins looked

alona tal → MY BISEXUAL AWAKENING, it’s only when i saw alona tal in spn that i realized, fuck i might be gay

park jihyo → i discovered twice (my 2nd jype group after day6) through the like ooh-ahh mv and red-haired jihyo really did something to my heart (i just rewatched it and god zombie bang chan is so mf cute)

kim jisoo → when bp made their square two comeback i was immediately smitten for red-haired jisoo in playing with fire, it’s also when i realized she was my bias out of the four members

shin ryujin → the reason that i have blue hair is partially bc of ryujin and her amazing intro in wannabe :D

xuan lu → her portrayal of jiang yanli was SO ON POINT and she’s just such a kindhearted wonderful person wow i want her hand in marriage

lee yoobin → god i’ve known dreamcatcher from back when they were still called minx and ever since i’ve always looked at dami that bit more than the rest, i was also able to see dreamcatcher live in october of 2019 and the whole experience was just so amazing !!

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

there’s a whole lot more than just these 10 but i wanted to fit the evolution into one (1) slide as best as i could lmao

peter pan → this movie came out in 2003 (?) and he’s honestly the first fictional character i remember ever having a crush on

legolas → i was really doubting between placing haldir or legolas here but i only really got a vague haldir obsession when i was like 14

zuko → LOOK. ZUKO IN ATLA? HOT. ZUKO IN LOK? HOT EVEN IF HE’S AN OLD MAN.

will turner → man was annoying sometimes but i really liked him and his relationship with elizabeth was cute

jo harvelle → gosh i can’t believe she’s the only female character in here???? yeah she was one of my two spn faves and i’ll never forgive the screenwriters for the way they killed her off

castiel → does your fave ever get sent to super hell for being gay? no? well. mine did

kili → fili and kili’s storyline tore my heart out, spit on it, and then laughed straight in my face, KILI WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE DWARF

howl → i only watched this movie for the first time in 2020 so i kinda fucked up the tl cause i watched cql in 2019 but shh, anyways howl with his blonde hair was good looking but howl with his black hair just hits differently. i want a howl

lan jingyi → MY BABY BOY, TINIE LITTLE BABIE WHOMST I MUST PROTECT ok no but seriously this kid. i love him a lot

mu qing → BARK BARK. that’s all (that’s not all i love him a whole lot and it hurts me to see so many people misunderstand his character and only see the bad parts of him when they can forgive others for fucking up (eg. xie lian himself & feng xin) but bc mu qing doesn’t deal well with emotions suddenly he’s the bad guy??? i s2g if ppl are gonna do to him what they did to jiang cheng in the tgcf la i will RIOT)

[rxsie-the-demon]

Brooklyn Baby | JJ Maybank

SERIES MASTERLIST | chapter one | chapter two | chapter three

chapter summary: Kelce confides in Nikki, who learns the details of what happened last summer. Kie devises a plan.

Chapter 4: Dark Paradise

“Hi! I’m Nikki.”

JJ’s jaw dropped. “Uh...” He blinked a couple of times, looking between me and Kiara, before rubbing his eyes and mumbling, “Ah, fuck me. I’m way too high to be doing this.” He went over to the fridge and grabbed a beer.

Kiara was sitting on the floor, head between her knees, trying to catch her breath. “I’m sorry JJ, but your face was everything.” He rolled his eyes and flipped her off.

I giggled, and took a couple steps forward to extend my hand out to Pope. “You must be Pope Heyward. It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve heard such wonderful things!”

JJ snorted and took a chug of his beer. “I’m sure you have.”

We ignored him and he shook my hand. “It’s nice to meet you, too! Kiara’s told us a lot about you.”

“Aww,” I said, turning to look at Kie. I walked over to JJ and looked up at him. Yes, looked up, since he had about a foot on me. “Nice to meet you.” I smiled warmly. Moment of truth.

He studied my face for a minute, before glancing at my hand and then away. “Whatever,” he mumbled. My eyes went wide with surprise. Sheesh.

“Ohh-kay then,” I spun. I did not think he’d be that rude. I walk over to Kiara and then smiled. “Well, what do you guys like to do for fun?” I asked the Pogues.

Pope opened his mouth to respond, but JJ said, “Beat up Kooks and steal their cash for drugs.” I snorted.

Kiara rolled her eyes. “JJ, play nice.”

JJ shrugged and chugged down the rest of his beer can and crushed it. “Just letting Pillow Princess here know how we roll down here in The Cut.”

“Um, excuse me?” I took a step forward. I could see the satisfied look on JJ’s face, like he enjoyed the fact that I was pissed.

Kie grabbed my hand and pulled me back.

“Well, this has been fun, but we should head back to Figure Eight, right, Nikki?” Kiara looked at me with a look that said Please don’t press this

I shrugged. “Alright.” I turned to face the boys. “Peace out, Pogues.”

“Bye, Nikki! It was nice meeting you! Bye, Kie, love you!” Pope waved. JJ ignored me and headed towards his bedroom.

“Love you too!” Kiara shouted back, grabbing the skateboards.

We made our way outside the house and down the dirt road.

“Did he call me a pillow princess?” I asked Kiara once we were a good distance from the house. “What does that even mean?!”

"You don’t wanna know,” Kie chuckled a little. I shot her a confused look.

“Ok, now I do wanna know.”

“Nikki, trust me-” she pulled her hair back into a bun, “-if I tell you, you’re just gonna get pissed.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, c’mon I’m not that unhinged- Wait, was it a sex joke?”

Kie laughed. “Took you long enough.”

My nostrils flared, and I spun around. “I marched towards the house, skateboard lifting above my head. “I’m gonna bash his skull in-”

“Nikki. Nikki. NIKKI- No!” Kie ran after me and grabbed my arms. “Look, I know JJ is frustrating at times, but he means well.”

“He means well?! How the f-”

“Ok, ok! Just give him time?! Please? He just doesn’t like...Kooks.” She waved her hand towards me. “And if he sees that he got under your skin that easily, he’s never going to stop picking on you.”

“He doesn’t like Kooks? You’re, like, his best friend!”

“Well, I never really fit in with the other Kooks, and besides, I’ve known them for years.”

I grumbled, “Whatever,” under my breath and turned around, making my wait with Kiara towards the main road.

Stupid fucking JJ Maybank.

*********************************************

“Uh, girl? You good?” Scarlet asked me, waving her fork near my face.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I had my head down on the table, and I sat up and rubbed my temples. Lunch had started a couple minutes ago, but I wasn’t hungry. I was frustrated. A certain annoying blonde boy was still pissing me off. And it wasn’t Topper or Rafe.

“You don’t look fine,” Topper noted.

“Yeah,” Kelce agreed. “You look like you need to take a shit.” Topper coughed up his drink and started laughing-wheezing.

Scarlet gagged. “You boys are disgusting.” She swatted his arm.

“What?!” Kelce defended. Topper and Kelce high-fived, and I smacked Topper upside the head.

“No, I do not need to take a shit. Thanks for the concern. No, it’s just that I met this kid, JJ Maybanks, last week, and he’s annoying as fuck. I’m pissing about that.”

Topper and Kelce groaned. “I fucking hate that dude,” Topper sighed. Kelce agreed.

“Why?” I asked. “And Kelce, I thought you weren’t trying to start stuff with these Pogues.”

“Yeah, well, JJ’s a special case. He’s dangerous.” Kelce shrugged

“How did you even meet him? He never comes onto Figure Eight and he lives on, like, the other side of the island.” Scarlet added, eyebrows scrunched. “Like, the poor side.”

I thought quick. If I told them I was friends with Kiara, they would start to give me shit.

“I was bored. And I just..drove around over there and stopped at some random pier near the swamp.” I lied and took a bite of my pasta, which literally tasted like cardboard. I gagged and took a sip of my water.

I could tell that Scarlet wasn’t convinced, but she dropped it, thankfully. We continued the rest of lunch talking about scuba diving, but I could feel Scarlet giving me strange looks.

When the lunch bell rang, I practically bolted out of there. Confessing to meeting JJ Maybank made me uncomfortable for some reason, and I don’t know why. Was he really a dangerous person or-

“Nikki! Wait up!” I heard a voice call behind me.

I slowed down and spun my head around to see Kelce jogging up to me. I stopped completely turned to face him, and he made his way over to me and smiled. “What’s up, midget?”

“Shut up,” I hissed and continued walking towards my class. “What’s up?”

Kelce shrugged. “Nothing.” He ran his fingers through his hair a couple times, before following up with, “Actually, are you free today after school?”

“Uh...think so, yeah. Why?”

“Uh, I wanted to go...golfing?” Kelce laughed. “Actually, I kinda want to talk to you.”

I felt a wave of panic. Was this about the Pogues? JJ? Kiara? “Sure, what ab- shit, I just walked by my class,” I spun around and hopped into my room. “Text me later, Kelce!”

“I- ok?! See ya!” Kelce laughed nervously and finger-gunned me. I sat down at a desk and pulled out my phone to see a text from Kie.

‘ayo what’re u doing after school?’

‘hanging w kelce, he like, just, asked me. why?’

‘ooh ok, i was wondering if u wanted to come over to work on the project?’

‘sure! i’ll text u when i’m done golfing w kelce’

‘golfing, srsly?’

‘lmaoo’

********************************************************************

“So, what did you want to talk to me about again?” I asked as I sat into the golf cart. Kelce managed to smack the golf ball into the water, but I noticed his hands were shaking a bit. He seemed nervous, and for the life of me I didn’t know why.

“Um, ok...look, I know it’s a bit weird because I haven’t known you for as long as I’ve known Topper and them but, can I trust you with a secret?” Kelce seemed anxious; his hands were wrapped tightly around the steering wheel and his leg was bouncing up and down pretty fast.

I narrowed my eyes. Well, of course I’d keep it, but Kelce is right, I’ve only been here about a month, and judging from how nervous he sounds, it seems like something...personal.

“Well, of course, but you seem nervous...is everything alright?”

“Yeah no-” he parked the golf cart as we got to our spot. I got out of the cart and made my way to my golf clubs. “Sorry, keep going Kelce.” I apologized and allowed him to continue.

“No you’re good! It’s just that...I think I have a crush on one of our friends and I don’t know how to tell them.”

“Wait, really?! Oh my gosh, who’s the lucky girl?” I exclaimed. Kelce didn’t respond; he just kept walking, and he looked even more nervous. The realization dawned on me.

“Them? Not her? We don’t have any non-binary friends...do you like one of the guys?”

Kelce looked away, nervous. I ran up in front of him and put my hands on his shoulder.

“Hey, Kelce, it’s ok. You can talk to me about this, you know? I’m not gonna out you or anything like that.”

He looked up at me for a second, and I could see the tiny reflection of tears starting to form in his eyes. He inhale sharpy before proclaiming, “I think- no, I am, bisexual. And I have feelings for Topper.”

I gave him a smile, and stood up on my toes to hug him. “Thank you for telling and trusting me with this.”

He hugged me back, and squeezed me tightly. He let go of me and sighed, “It feels good, being able to tell people this. My parents would be accepting, but a lot of our family friends are homophobic and I’m afraid this would ruin our reputation. And-” He stopped 

“I get it. I mean- I don’t get it, but I understand what you’re trying to say. Of course, I’ll keep this a secret, but...are you ever going to tell Topper? Or your parents?”

“Maybe,” he shrugged. “For now, I’m just gonna see if I get any vibes from Topper.”

I laughed. “Maybe. He hasn’t had much luck with girls; maybe a guy is what he needs.”

**********************************************************************

“So, how was golfing with Kelce?” Kie laying bellydown on the floor, doodling away in her sketchbook while I was (attempting to) french braid her hair.

“Uh, it was alright. Kelce kept hitting the balls into the water. For someone who’s lived here for a while, he sucks at golfing!” I joked. She snorted and threw her head back. “Hey! You’re gonna mess up the braid!”

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just funny to me how all take pride in their golfing skills but in reality, they’re not that great.”

“Honestly, I think that’s just all boys. They hype themselves up too much and we’re let down.” I giggled. Kie turned around with a sarcastically shocked look on her face. “NIKKI! Girl, I did not expect that from you.”

I gently smacked her arm, then looped the scrunchie I had in my hand around her hair. “All done. Do you think we should work on our Royal Merchant project?” I got up to grab the small backpack I brought with me. In it was the small notebook I used to jot down stuff about the ship. I had decided not to use my history notebook because this ship apparently has some important history in the Banks, and I’m most likely going to find out stuff about it while going around the island with Kie.

“Uhh, yeah sure hold up.” She stood up and went over to her desk. She pulled out a black spiral notebook that look like it’d had been dragged through the mud and dryed in a river. The cover had patchy brown stains on it and dried up water marks. She spun around and faced me, placing the book down on the desk behind her and putting her hands in the pockets of her gray sweatpants. “After John B and Sarah...we decided to write down everything we knew about the Merchant in this notebook and get rid of everything else. Not that there was much left...our maps, everything got stolen by Ward Cameron.”

“Ward Cameron? Wait...Rafe’s dad? Wheezy and Sarah’s dad, Ward Cameron? What do you mean?”

Kiara stopped. “Um...” and started fidgeting with the hem of her t-shirt, purposefully avoiding eye contact with me. “It’s- it’s a long story.”

“Is it one you’re allowed to tell me?” I was uncomfortable now- well, more like nervous. I fell very antsy, and my hands were shaking a bit. I clasped them in front of me and swallowed to ease my nerves. Something about how nervous Kie seemed made me scared...

“Well,” she started. She looked up at her ceiling and closed her eyes, then exhaled slowly. “There’s nothing legally stopping me, but JJ and probably Pope would be a bit unhappy if I told you.”

I shrugged and turned to crouch down to my bag, slightly disappointed if I was being honest. “That’s alright, you don’t have to tell-”

“Let’s go to the Chauteau.” Kie interrupted. I looked up at her. She had her lips pressed together in a weird smile. I did not know what she was thinking. “I have a plan.” She furrowed her eyebrows together, “Kind of. It’s half a plan.”

I put my notebook in my bag and grabbed the top handle. “You don’t have to tell me, you know. I don’t want your friends getting pissed at me.”

“Oh I know,” she smiled, “but I have a plan. A way to bring the Cameron family down and to bring justice to John B and Sarah. But to do that, the two of us and the boys need to work together.”

I nodded slowly, having no idea where she was going with this. “We are still gonna get the project done, right?”

Kie giggled. “Yes, of course.”

*********************************************

“Yeah, so, that’s...it, basically.” Kiara said, slapping her hands down onto her thighs and turning her head left to face me.

I think the look on my face was one of complete horror, because JJ, who was on Kie’s right, burst into laughter. Full on, tear-jerking, belly-grabbing laughter. Pope, who was standing up in front of him, kicked him in the shin. “Dude, what the fuck are you laughing about?”

After he managed to calm himself down, he wiped his tears and said, “Sorry, man, it was just so funny seeing the Kook’s reaction- I mean-”

“Stop calling me that,” I interjected. “I’m just...mortified you guys went through that, and that...” I stopped talking, and looked down at my hands. That Rafe killed someone. I clenched my fists together. I wasn’t mad, not yet. It hadn’t really set in yet. Right now I’m completely shocked, at Rafe, Topper, even Kelce who kept John B locked up in his house.

JJ must have knew what I was thinking, because the usually cocky look in his eyes faded and was replaced with slight sympathy. ”None of us expected you to know this.”

Tears started swelling up in my eyes. “My god...your friends are dead because of Rafe.” I covered my hand with my mouth. I felt like I was gonna be sick. “I’m sorry, I feel so dramatic; your friends are dead and I’m the one who’s crying.”

Pope laughed dryly and said, “Trust me, we cried enough.” When I looked up at him, he was looking down, and I could see tears forming in his eyes too.

I inhaled once, deeply, then turned to Kiara and smiled. “So, what’s this plan you were talking about?”

***********************************************

A/N

i am sorry for straight-up disappearing. it was a mix of writer’s block and mental health; i needed to plan out some details for the story but when i sorted everything out, my brain was like “nah” but yep i’m back haha

******************************

chapter 5

[dazaisfavoritewife]

Bakusquad with a black s/o - Someone calls you a racial slur

This idea has been on my mind for SO LONG! You might be wondering, “Then author-Chan, why didn’t you write it before?” WELL BECAUSE IM LAZY- So, I hope you enjoy :) -btw I’m going to use female pronouns, so if you want a male version or part 2 let me know-

~~~~~~~~

Bakugo

He is so appreciative, like this dude could care less about what skin color you are, but he just thinks your skin is BEAUTIFUL! Like, YES!! Racist Karen’s? Mans gotcha back.

But this one time, a racist bitch, *cough* BETHANY *cough* she called you a racial slur (even if I am african American i’m not saying it) and you obviously had to mop the floor with a hoe!

“Y/N, stay the f*ck away from my man!” Bethany screamed at you, you just rolled your eyes and stared straight at her.

“I’m sorry? Who’s your man?”

“Bakugo! You know that you ni-“

Oops! Bethany accidentally fell on your foot.. Then your hand.. Then your knee... She got beat the fuck up. While you were beating the absolute hell out of Bethany, the bell rang, but you were too busy with Bethany to notice that everyone was heading to lunch.

You snatched her by her hair, and started beating the crap out of her, when everyone saw they were frozen just there like ‘O’ but, Bakugo was cheering you on.

“YEAH! BEAT HER ASS N/N!”

You still didn’t give a fuck and just smirked, until your home room teacher, Aizawa came into the hallway.

“L/N! Bakugo! Detention after school!”

Best believe you just looks at him like, ‘N what?’

Bakugo just shrugged, and aizawa told us to go to lunch.

“This isn’t over Bethany..”

Then you just dropped her, grabbed Bakugo, and skipped to lunch, him proudly walking with you while everyone just stared at you in disbelief at how you’re acting like nothing happened after you just beat the shit out of a hoe. Not sorry!

Kirishima

Like Bakugo, he thinks you’re beautiful! He also thinks you’re real manly, because there are so many people who don’t think you belong in ua because of your skin, but he just deals with them himself.

But one day, someone took it too far and three girls game up to you and their leader just started insulting you, and one of them said a racial slur, you weren’t having it.

“Oh look! It’s Y/N! I thought you would’ve given up on becoming a hero, I mean how could you be popular when you look like.. That?”

“Like what? A badass? A queen? Beautiful? At least I don’t have 55 layers makeup, I have a thing called natural beauty.”

“What beauty? All we see is a ni-“

Oh no! They all somehow ended up on the floor with a bloody nose! Oops! You accidentally made your boot and their head best friends..

“I’m sorry, I can’t *thump* hear you other the *thump* noise! *thump thump thump*”

Needless to say, you beat all their asses. And in an instant you’d beat anyone and everyone’s ass if they even dared say a racial slur.

So, while in the process of beating three bitches asses, all of class 1-A came out of home room because aizawa wanted them to come and get you because you’re their friend, and they saw you beating the fuck out of three girls at the same time, and they all just stared at you in awe, and shock, except for Iida. He was against it obviously. And Bakugo, Mina, and Kaminari were cheering you on.

“Yeah Y/N! Kick their ass!”

“You got this Y/N!”

“Yeah! Whatever reason you did this, great job!”

“L/N That is not appropriate in school or outsie of it! Please refrain from beating people up!

Aizawa heard cheering and yelling outside the classroom and got annoyed, and went to check to see you beating three girls asses and the Bakusquad, (this time all of them) cheering you on.

“Is there a good reason for this? Otherwise detention.”

“These *thump* bitches *thump* thought they could try *thump thump thump* call me a racial slur.” Iida shut the fuck up real quick, and everyone was shocked that he actually started routing for you!

“...Continue.”

Then he walked back in the classroom. We stan men who don’t support racist bitches.

Kaminari

Kaminari respects you, you don’t take anyone's shit. Plus you’re beautiful, that’s a bonus to him. There were two particular people once who were giving you weird looks because of your skin, you just laughed in their face while Kaminari electrocuted them, then brought him home after he short circuited.

But one stupid bitch didn’t know how badass you are. So they tried using a racial slur, but we all know we don’t stand them. So this bitch named Rachel walked up to you and just started trash talking.

“Why are you even in the hero course? You don’t deserve it.”

“Because I earned it. You don’t deserve to be in ua at all if you’re bullying someone superior to a lowlife.”

“Whatever, you’re just a ni-“

She didn’t get to finished her sentence before you just roundhouse kicked a bitch, then just started beating the crap out of her.

“Say it again. I DARE you.”

While you were beating the shit out of her, class 1-A and aizawa just heard a bunch of loud and some very quiet crashes and thumps, and a lot of yelling.

“What in the entire world is going on out there..” Aizawa mumbled.

All of class 1-A including aizawa opened the door and walked into the hallway, to see you literally slamming her face into a locker, and occasionally kicking and punching her.

“Holy shit..”

Everyone was stunned, but Bakugo was laughing his ass off.

“L/N, what are you doing!?”

“SHUT UP IIDA!”

“U-uhm L/N..? Why are you hurting that person..?”

“THEY TRIED, THEY REALLY TRIED ME!”

“What did they do?”

“SHE THIUGHT SHE COUKD SAY A RACIAL SLUR”

“YOU GO! THATS MY GIRL!”

“Oh, everyone back in the classroom. Everything’s fine.”

Then they just went back into class like their classmate wasn’t beating the shit out of a girl. Needless to say, someone had to pull you off of her before you killed her.

Sero

Sero is a supportive king, and very underated. He thinks you’re the most beautiful women he’s ever met, and mans is extremely protective because once someone made a comment about your skin and you just ignored it but it kinda hurted :(

But one fateful day for two boys, they made the terrible mistake of saying a racial slur, they really thought they did something by getting beat the fuck up.

“I don’t know why they let YOU in the hero course.”

“I don’t know what led YOU to believe I’mma take your shit.”

“Whatever. You’re just a ni-“

And he just magically fell to the floor! Oh no! His buddy accidentally got slammed into him after! Damn it, they accidentally made contact with your boot!!

Class 1-A and 1-B heard you beating the shit out of the boys, so the teachers went into the hallway to see what the commotion is, but the students being their nosy selves went to see too.

Mr. Aizawa and Mr. Vlad King went into the hallway to see you beating the fuck out of two kids, class 1-A and 1-B looked through the door, and Bakugo just started cheering you on, so did Sero.

“Yes Y/N! Fuck em up!”

“I knew I chose the right one! Yes Y/N!”

Kendo being one of your friends, started cheering you on too.

“Go Y/N! Yes queen!”

Aizawa just turned around and walked back into the classroom after telling the students to go back to their seats. Vlad king broke you away from them though.. Aw shit you got detention.

Mina

(I got lazy on Sero’s because after Kirishima I took a break and started writing Kaminari’s after, and it’s 1 AM so I’m tired and watching YouTube to stay awake, this is probable gonna be shitty, they all are honestly.. I’m sorry btw I believe the theory that Mina is black so roll with it if you don’t)

Mina knows that you’re the most beautiful wiman alive, and you’re her queen, and vise versa.

One day this bitch named Ashley decided to insult your guys’ relationship and called you a racial slur, you definitely weren’t having it when it comes to Mina.

“Hey Y/N I heard you’re dating a girl.. That’s gross.”

“Hey Ashley, I heard you eat d*ck. That’s gross.”

“You’re a nasty ni-“

Ashley couldn’t finish her sentence because she was slammed into the locker, and became best friends with your fist and boot, whoops!

So, everyone was heading home because the final bell rang and everyone was packing up, and they were leaving their classrooms, and they all saw you beating the shit out of Ashley, and Mina was just smiling the widest smile that shines so bright, and she started cheering you on with Bakugo.

“Yes my queen! Beat her ass!”

“Yeah Y/N! Beat that extra!”

You got one last HARD kick in, before aizawa came up to you and pulled you off.

“Let me go!”

“Why were you even harming a student?”

“BECAUSE THIS HOMOPHOBIC BITCH CAME UP TO ME AND STARTED TALKING ABOUT ME AND MINA AND ADDED IN JUST THE CHERRY ON TOP AND CALLED ME A RACIAL SLUR!”

Aizawa went quiet and so did everyone else, then he just let you go and walked away, and everyone else just left the school like it was a normal day, we stand most of the people here.

(In case you’re confused on why it said Raven I accidentally put my name for this kind of stuff,sorry)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #479

“war sends our sons to slaughter  /  another failed attack; there is no turning back”

Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes, a video game when I was little. I was so mad, lol. Do you vent a lot on social media? No. I don't want people to get annoyed with me. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I haven't been responsible for any bills yet. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? I can't/don't do either really, but if I could, I'd probably donate to uhhhh... suicide prevention organizations. As for volunteering, definitely something with animals. Have you ever dated someone who wasn’t at all your usual type? No. What is something you have no patience for? Waiting at the doctor's office. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. What’s that you’re listening to? I'm watching Gab play The Evil Within 2. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? We're a couple. What is your biggest accomplishment in life? Still being alive. What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Political stuff. Economics. Have you ever been tutored or tutored someone yourself? I had an Algebra tutor the last time I was in college, and I had to strangle an anxiety attack down because I wasn't understanding the material AT ALL and felt so dumb and annoying. I never did it again. What was the last thing you said out loud (singing doesn’t count)? "It's really embarrassing," to Mom. It really is fucking humiliating that my ankles are swollen from walking/standing more and pushing my desk chair back against the resistance of the carpet. That's pathetic. I'm trying to focus on the fact it's good my body is even reacting to moving more, though. Is everything you have on actually yours? Yep. Do you ever just randomly drive around when you’re upset about something? I don't drive, but if I did, that would NOT be my method of de-stressing. What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Writing an RP post. What’s your favorite department in Wal-Mart? Uh, I guess where you can go see the plants and flowers. Do you find kite flying boring? I LOVED it as a kid. I'd still probably find it kinda fun. Do you have any interest in visiting Japan? Yes, but it's not a massive interest. I've heard the humidity can kill a bitch, and I am NOT into that. Have you ever run a cash register? Yes. I sucked. Have you ever worked as a server? No. Have you ever done the Bratz challenge on YouTube? No, but I saw James Charles do it and it was v unnerving, holy shit. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? Carve. What was your worst experience in high school? My depression as a whole. How much did your senior prom dress cost you? I don't remember. Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Three, if you include my current one. Which part of your body is the most muscular? Uh, nothing? What is the first site you check when you get online, generally? KM. Are you good at creative writing assignments? That's my forte. In elementary school, I actually won a I think county-wide creative writing short story assignment. Not to brag, but I've always been very proud of that, ha ha. Or would you rather just do an informative essay? That's easy for me too, but I prefer writing creatively. Are you more attracted to the badasses, or the goody-goody types? Definitely the goody-goodies. The "bad guys" have never appealed to me romantically. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did if I really wanted to ask something or was confident in an answer. What is something BIG you want to do with your life? Make a difference, somehow. What do you think of people who own wild animals? Do NOT just casually take in animals from the wild. That's selfish and just generally disgusting. If you're going to keep an animal generally described as wild and undomesticated, you'd better have a license and deserve that license. Know what you're doing and be certain that keeping the animal in captivity is in the animal's best interest for its unique case. Are you good at explaining things, in general? NOOOOOOOOO, I suck at that. Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? Not our mall, no. Its stores suck/are extremely limited, and SO much crime has happened there. Do you like window shopping? Why or why not? YESSSSSSS, mostly on Morph Market, a mostly reptile selling hub online. You can browse TONS of breeders and literally thousands of reptiles, especially ball pythons. They even have a tarantula section I like to look at sometimes. If you lost your job/home/etc., who would likely help you? If I'm losing my home, I'm assuming my mom is gone, so my dad. Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? We were a couple and I felt like I was supposed to. At that time I didn't see him romantically, but I desperately wanted to. Funny how we're back together and I've no reservations against kissing him now. Feelings change, for sure. Plans for tonight? Girt and I will probably play some WoW Classic together. We've started playing that together, and it's lots of fun with him. :') Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Actually, no. Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yeah. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I know Girt does. Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? My mom. Who last made you smile? Girt, 'cuz he's a sweetheart. Where is your mother? She's in bed in her room. She feels like shit. Like, you would think she WASN'T vaccinated, though her long-time doctor has said she'd probably be dead without it while having Covid. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Think about your biggest mistake, would you go back and change it? I absolutely would. Are you dating the person you last kissed? Yeup. What is the most immature item you own and actually use? Um. Idk. Do you always take a shower after you have sex? I... didn't know people did this? Like I know women are advised to pee after sex, but full-on showering? No. Do you like chocolate popsicles? Oh hell yeah. Are your parents proud of you? They claim to be. I don't see how. Are you interested in the ocean? Yeah; it's inarguably so fascinating. Hot dogs or hamburgers? I prefer burgers. Have you ever been to a Chinatown in any of the cities you’ve been to? No. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. Do you have any dietary restrictions? No. Have you ever turned down a job offer? No. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A dog named Cali that was a boxer mix. Do you ever pray, even if you don't believe in God? What exactly is the point if you don't believe in God...? Anyway, I don't. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever gotten stuck in quicksand before? No. What's the shortest or longest length you've ever had your hair grow? To around the small of my back. The last nest you saw - was it a bird nest or a hornet's nest? I think a bird's? Do you enjoy Jeff Dunham? I don't know if I'd like him as a person, but I do think he's a funny comedian. Who is your favorite character from Frozen? I was never into the movies. I do think Elsa is kinda cool (no pun intended, lol), though. I like that she has her flaws. Did you finish high school? If not, do you plan on doing so? I did. Have you been in a simulator that mimicked a submarine or rollercoaster? A rollercoaster, yes. How often do you go out to eat instead of cooking for yourself? Mom and I try to avoid fast food for our health. We do a pretty good job at it, but sometimes for convenience's sake, we do eat it. What is the largest family of siblings that you know of? This is probably gonna come across as very judgmental, but... it really bothers me. I don't know how many kids she has now, but one of the dance moms from the studio has SO many children; I've completely lost count. Now if you want that many kids and can provide for them, that's cool. But that's not the case. She uses the "if God wants me to have a baby, then it will happen" mentality, and I'm just like... um, no hunny. Poor choices are leading to kids you're not adequately providing for. She uses no methods of protection and literally has twins whose room is a fucking closet. Ugh it just really bothers me. What foreign languages were offered to you at school? A whole lot. Only Spanish and I believe French were offered as in-school courses, but there were lots of online classes. If you were required to take a course right now, what would you choose? Photography. Team Biden or Team Trump? Over my dead body would I have voted for Trump. My vote went with Biden. What is an animal native to your country that may not exist in others? Bison are factually exclusive to North America. Note that bison and buffalo are different. What are some of your favorite autumn activities? Taking pictures of fall scenery. <3 What are some of your favorite winter activities? Going out in the snow. :') Especially with a camera. Do you eat a shit-ton the week before your period? uuugggghhHHHHHH yes Wendy's, McDonalds, or Burger King? Wendy's. What's the weirdest question you've ever asked Alexa? I've never asked Alexa anything. Do you prefer your apple cider to be warm or cold? I've actually never had it. Do you prefer your coffee hot or iced? Y'all know the story of me and coffee. Can you sing the alphabet backwards? I can't. Have you ever sent flowers or chocolates to yourself before? Ha ha, no. Is there any meat that you won't eat? Yeah, fish and ANYTHING that comes from a wild animal. Does your cat use anything other than it's scratching post as a scratcher? When we got him a scratcher WITH CATNIP, the lil butthead ignored it. -_- He scratches the carpet instead. Did you go through a vampire craze before? Are you still going through it? Nah. Have you ever forged your parents' signature on a poor test paper, etc? No. Has a bird ever pooped on you before? Omg, no. I'd die. Have you ever been sprayed by a skunk before? No. Are black jellybeans delicious or disgusting? I HATE them. Have you ever rolled down a grassy hill before? I have! I miss that.

[statticscribbles]

Pride

Summary: Swangs (Fangs/Sweet Pea) Sweet Pea just has no luck when it comes to timing

TW: Use of homophobic slurs

There’s a lot of things Sweet Pea doesn’t give a shit about, he can list them either alphabetically or by his personal ranking of distain; the highest on his list is people being shitty to Fangs. He could lump it in as a general people being shitty to his friends but he’s seen and heard too many people brushing off the Southside into one group. The insults have changed. What once was chorus’s of

“Southside trash” “trailer park scum” “criminals”  “hoodlums” “freaks” has now evolved into “freaks” “faggot” “bitch”  “homo bastard” “degenerates” “queer”

Sweet Pea doesn’t admit to either Fangs or Toni how many times he comes over with bruised knuckles or a black eye, when he splits his lip too deep so he needs stitches. None of them are earned as recklessly as he lets them believe his temper is. He keeps his reasoning to himself, quoting the Serpent laws anytime he returns from letting his temper get the best of him like an idiot; as Toni and Fangs often yell at him. He just grins, one less person threatening them is a victory no matter how much he bleeds.

He’s the first to join the Serpents, he makes Toni wait two weeks after his ceremony, joking he doesn’t want to be upstaged. He endures her annoyed side eyes and rants about her being blood anyways. Still she waits. He feels childish asking about how the Serpents feel about LBGT members. FP looks at him like he ’s a bigger idiot than usual and introduces him to Joaquin that same night. He let’s Joaquin know he’s not his type and Joaquin makes some quip about Sweet Pea ending up with some Northside prep; he’s smiling when he says it and Sweet Pea laughs joking about he’ll find the perfect boy next door; Joaquin joins in on his jesting and they spend the night joking and laughing about imaginary Northsider’s.

It isn’t until later, when Toni and Fangs appear to bring him home that Joaquin’s eyes light up in understanding. Fang’s doesn’t get it, not when Sweet Pea pretends to be a little too drunk to lean on him, or how Joaquin gives FP a nod and sly smile. Toni is the one to cold shower him. Fangs sets him in the tub, Toni hisses how gentle he is and Fangs leaves, he always hated dousing Sweet Pea with the showers cold spray.

He’s relieved when there’s a knock at the door, Joaquin standing, sly smile on his face once more. “Glad he had the guts.” Is all he says, passing Fangs Sweet Pea’s jacket. “Wait there’s-” “Topaz’s” Fangs nods, and pushes the smaller jacket into her hands, she swears him to secrecy about her dancing around the living room.

They wake up on the couch, Sweet Pea setting mugs of coffee on the table. He cracks his neck and Toni smirks. “Fell asleep in the tub again, how the fuck do I keep ending up there?” He rolls his eyes as she shrugs. “It’s a mystery.” She flashes her jacket and Sweet Pea takes a sip of his coffee. “You pick out where you want your tat?” She beams nodding.

“You know he wants to join, he might as well already be a member anyways.”  Toni speaks turning from behind the bar to nod at where Fangs plays pool with Joaquin.

“You know being a Serpent is dangerous. Especially being like we are. Anyone finds out it’s twice the reason to kill us, can’t have you being a gang member and a homo.” Sweet Pea glares at the ground, Toni places her hand on his shoulder.

“Isn’t it more dangerous to not be a Serpent then? To not have our protection.” Sweet Pea shakes his head. “He has me.” “And you have us, and him. Everyone knows Sweet Pea. Except him, you need to tell him at some point.” Sweet Pea nods. He stands bolstering himself to go over to play pool with them, to confess his feelings to Fangs, but Joaquin seems to pick up on it and vanishes too early; Fangs returns back to the bar whining to Toni about there not being any cute guys that are available. Sweet Pea knows the look Toni gives Fangs and him is meant to be a ‘you’re both idiots’ Fangs reads it as ‘can you believe this again’ and huffs retreating to where the other serpent’s are starting up darts. “Tomorrow.” He asks Toni to be there for support claiming he wants to hang out with Fangs and her like the old days.

Toni excuses herself to go home, something about her grandfather needing help; Sweet Pea steels himself, broaching the subject nervously. “Fangs, this is gonna sound really stupid but, how did you know you liked guys?” “It was more like I knew I didn’t like girls, why? Sweet Pea do you-“ He’s never seen Fangs look so hopeful. “Oh uh, I like girls, uh both, both actually.” He stumbles over the words as the hope flickers in Fang’s eyes. “Oh, good for you.” Fang’s smiles and turns to the text on his phone. “You, actually I like-“ He whispers “Hey sorry my mom needs me to call her.” Fangs looks apologetically at Sweet Pea who just nods dumbly.

Sweet Pea’s not sure if he can breathe anymore, not with the way Fangs looks numbly at the wall, or when he lets the phone and himself crumble to the ground as he shakes, choking instead of breathing. Sweet Pea tugs him onto his lap without thinking and pulls the phone up at the same time. “Mrs. Fogarty, is everything okay?” “Of course Sweet Pea, everything is fine dear.” Fang’s make a sort of gagging sound that he realizes is meant to be a no. “Tell Fangs I’ll see him tomorrow.” “Of course M-Mrs. Fogarty.” Sweet Pea hangs up and runs his hand through Fang’s hair.

“What happened? What’s wrong Fangs? What’s wrong?” He tries to keep his voice calm but all Fang’s does is keep hissing and mumbling and not speaking and Sweet Pea can feel the panic rising in his chest just the same when he hears people muttering about how much better he could do than being friends with the likes of Fangs; of course there’s nothing to punch, nothing to take the anger, the fear out on, so he sits, hands fluttering against any part of Fang’s that doesn’t make him pull away. They sit for an hour, until his legs are numb from the weight of them both, and his shirt has a wet spot on each of his shoulders.

They sit in half silence; half in reality until Fangs is almost asleep, just numb staring at the doorway. Sweet Pea doesn’t say anything as Fang’s shifts in his arms, hands twisting into his shirt. “ ‘s cancer. Doc’s already said it’s a loosing fight; I can’t. I can’t Sweets; it’ll-“ Fangs doesn’t finish his body jerking as his breathing goes once more. “Fangs, hey; I’m here. I’m here.” “I shouldn’t be, I shouldn’t be- why can’t it be me Sweet’s; why it gotta be my mom.” Sweet Pea doesn’t say anything, just tightening his grip. “Can’t afford none of it, said it wouldn’t help anyways, just pain management, can’t even give her a chance.” He hisses the last bit jerking away from Sweet Pea.

“Fangs, hey listen-“ “Sorry;” He wipes at his eyes and nose. “You were sayin’ something important.” “Yeah, I uh, well fuck it doesn’t seem as important now.” He laughs a little.

“Come on, Joaquin said you got your eye on someone, you ask ‘em out yet? Is that it? You finally not single for once?” Fangs laughs a little but his throat is too raw to do more than sob awkwardly. “No I haven’t asked him out yet.” “You gonna, come on, don’t chicken out. First real boyfriend as a possibility” “Well it’s complicated.” Fangs rolls his eyes. “Can’t be that complicated, you just walk up ask him out and kiss him if he says yes.” “So you wanna go out?” Sweet Pea sighs shakily.

“Yeah like that. What?” Fangs furrows his brow. “Well I’m waiting for him to say yes, so I can kiss him.” “Oh, um the Wyrm at seven?” “Is that a yes?” Fangs nods laughing as Sweet Pea bumps their foreheads together kissing him softly.

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Fucked Up SAO AU Thoughts: Team Getting To Know Each Other Edition

- As stated before, other than knowing each other’s Twitch Names and knowing well known things about each other, the team doesn’t really know each other

- Before the ResCas (Resonance Cascade), they all sit down and find out the basics- basically the kind of stuff you’d put in an introduction (Name, Age, important stuff, etc.)

- Gordon: Oh, and one fun fact about yourself

Bubby: My fun fact is that I would rather gut myself then tell you a fun fact- leave the ‘Fun Fact’ shit back in the first day of middle school where it belongs

Gordon: ...you must be fun at parties huh

- They don’t all get along right away to say the least. At first Tommy seems to get along with everyone but uh-

- Coomer, upon seeing an NPC that has a similar character model: *Getting ready to punch them* MY CLONE

Tommy, who doesn’t want to kill any of the NPCs: DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE

- Yeah there’s a bumpy road of getting to know each other while also being stuck in a video game.

- Benrey: Maybe we should play uh... One of those party games to get to know each other. Never Have I Ever or some shit

Bubby: Absolutely not

*Not even five minutes later, the team is playing Never Have I Ever. Bubby is sulking but playing along.*

- Benrey: I have a plan to speed the process of the game up

Gordon: I’m all ears

Benrey: Okay, hear me out but first off, we all need to start seducing all the NPCs

Gordon: I am no longer all ears, what the fuck

Benrey: Bro... Bro I said hear me out-

- Tommy being born on Leap Day is canon to this AU specifically for:

Benrey: Wait hold on... So you’re like, five

Tommy: I’m 32

Bubby: *Smirking* Oh sorry, you’re eight, our mistake

Tommy: It doesn’t work like that-

Coomer: Our little Tommy~

Gordon: And here I thought I was the youngest of the group!

Tommy: *Sharply inhales* You’re all dead to me.

*Cue the rest of the group wheezing*

- Benrey of course makes the connection of, “So your last name is Freeman... And everyone wants a feet cam for you... So I guess you could say you’re...”

Gordon, who knows where this is going: please don’t-

Benrey: Gordon Feetman?

The nickname sticks in the group a little too much for Gordon’s liking

- There’s a lot of adjustment issues to being in the game too, everyone has their own major problem with it

- Coomer is heavily worried they won’t make it out- either by dying or that they could possibly be stuck in the game forever (I.E. “If you could be stuck in any video game... What video game would you choose?” Conversation still happens but it’s a bit different). However, Coomer has trouble raising these concerns and instead covers it up by charging head first into battle and having “boundless confidence”

- Benrey has trouble sleeping at night because his dreams are either surreal or he has none at all and Benrey hates that. Benrey attempt to skip sleeping- “We’re in a video game, why do we even need to sleep”- but forgets that it’s their new reality and he only has so much time left before he passes out because of it (This likely happens at the worst possible time). Not to mention, as first person to get down to one life left, Benrey has a lot of anxieties about actually dying that don’t help.

- Bubby is still claustrophobic as hell and given Half Life has a bunch of vents the team needs to climb through, he’s constantly tense but won’t say a word about it because he’s kinda embarrassed about it. To the rest of the group, it’s like Bubby always has a stick up his ass but they don’t know why- is he just always snappy? It takes them a while to figure out but it’s a sudden “OH” moment that finally makes everything make sense.

- Tommy takes the reality of the game to heart and wants to help these poor NPCs who just keep dying or who don’t want to travel too far from where they’re spawned in because they’re scared and it’s just kinda hard. Half Life is a pretty dark game, a lot of Scientists are left behind or stuck in Black Mesa and Tommy kinda has to come to terms with the fact that he can’t save everyone. Tommy has to focus on the people he can save- his team of people who can escape the game. Doesn’t make it any less hard but it helps.

- Gordon takes on a role of Leader of the Team and does everything he can to make sure everyone’s gonna make it out. He stresses when they get hurt and especially when they lose a life and kinda takes it as a personal loss. Gordon so badly wants to escape the game but not without everyone else who’s stuck here. Not to mention, once Darnold and Forzen join the group, two NPCs who only have one life unlike the rest of them, his stress level goes up. He wants to protect them all, even if it means he has to make personal sacrifices

- For each of these, the group decides to sit down and talk about it- no beating around the bush, this is a life or death situation, dammit. And because of it, there’s a bond that forms between them. They gotta have each other’s backs- take care of each other, because who else will?

- Benrey has minor trouble with the Sweet Voice because it tends to flare up when they’re feeling intense emotions and Tommy is starting to pick up on what it means- no- no Tommy do not translate what pink to blue means I beg of you-

- Bubby has similar trouble but with fire. Yeah. He keeps accidentally catching things on fire because Coomer is far too attractive when he’s punching aliens and openly admitting to being arrested for assaulting a homophobe at pride parade

- Gordon’s mildly annoyed with Benrey at first because they keep making jabs at him specifically and calling him Feetman and he just doesn’t really get them at first. But damn, Benrey’s kinda cute and funny sometimes and oh shit they just took of their helmet and they’re kinda hot oh s h i t Gordon likes Benrey-

- Coomer’s trying so hard to flirt with Bubby because he’s exactly his type but they keep sounding like platonic complements and Coomer can’t seem to outright say “Bubby, I have feelings for you” because it keeps coming out with stuff like, “Bubby, I- I think you’re very neat!” so instead he just keeps watching him lovingly set things on fire from afar, oh he’s so stunning, isn’t he?

- Tommy watches all of them fall in love with each other and trip over each other like idiots- ha, good thing he’s not doing that. Though it is really cute when Darnold starts going on and on about potions and is taking with such passion or when Forzen’s eyes light up when Tommy finally manages to show him what a bayblade is and oh gODDAMMIT-

But yeah this team cares about each other a lot and they also mercilessly tease each other like they should