#to be clear these arent my views this is just what i grew up in

[snarky-gourmet]

What kind of small town doesn't understand jeans and a shirt be serious

If i explain in detail youre all going to think im making shit up and also crazy like i just dont know if i feel like dancing this close to the sun at such an hour. u just had to have been there ig

[princesssmars]

late night visitors

a ladynoir x reader

most people don't get visited by paris's notorious superheroes at night. luckily, you're not most people.

wc : 1982

contains : fluff. just a bunch of fluff ngl. polyamory. mari and adrien's ages arent stated but they grew up with me in my head so they're about 17/18 here idc.

f/f - favorite flowers

a/n : we love starting a fic and not finishing it until a year later <3 i made this short (?) and sweet before i went overboard. enjoy :)

one thing paris didn’t get enough credit for was its quietness. during the day the city bustles, each arrondissement’s streets filled with tourists and families enjoying the city of love. but you loved it at night. the air grows cold and the roads are deserted, only a few stragglers walking about. the city lights twinkle against the skyline and blend into the clear night sky to create your favorite sight.

you had spent a while sitting on your balcony and just enjoying it, having finished your homework and chores and ready to just be. you let all of your worries about school and friends and villains go and finally relaxed, staying outside for an hour before heading off inside for a night of rest.

tap tap tap.

you grumble, slowly rising from your sleep at the sudden noise you've heard at the other end of the rom. sitting up and rubbing at your eyes, you look around your bedroom to pinpoint where the disturbance came from. from what you can see in the dark nothing fell from your bed, and your closet and bedroom doors are closed so that only leaves one other spot.

tap tap tap.

letting out a huff of air through your nose, you rise from your bed and throw on your robe, quickly noting the alarm clock on your dresser telling you its already past midnight, before moving to the window that looks into your balcony.

not able to see anything, you carefully open the door, shivering and only stopping for a second to again look at the beautiful view of paris before looking around your balcony, only to see a small flower pot that rose had gifted you knocked over.

figuring it to be some dumb bird or a stray, you turn back towards your room just to see a giant pair of bright green eyes staring right into your soul.

it’s pure luck that you're able to muffle your short scream in your hands to not wake and alarm your parents and half the of the arrondissement. unluckily, paris’ beloved hero chat noir is on the brink of laughing his stupid leather-covered ass off.

he somehow manages to calm down, but that means now he’s talking. and god help you when chat noir decided to speak.

"i knew you could be jumpy when scared but you leaped higher than a startled cat! you should've seen it!"

he makes more jokes and lets out little laughs as you stand still in front of him, glaring at him in your pajamas. the fact that your bottoms were covered in pink cupcakes didn't help your case.

“if you seriously woke me up at midnight just to tease and laugh at me so help me god chat,” you squint your eyes in a warning, barely noticing the figure cloaked in red and black sliding up to your side.

“nope, we brought something else,” you hear whispered into your ear. not flinching this time, be it because you were too pissed off or less on edge from the last time. you turn and smile softly when soft baby blue eyes meet your own. “how was your day, mon cheri?”

you hum as your hands find their way around her shoulders and hers wrap around your middle, “better now that you're here, can't say the same for others though.” ladybugs body rocks with a silent laugh as chat looks at the two of you shocked.

he goes off into one of his usual dramatic rants about how the “loves of my life have left me behind for each other! the stereotypes are true!” as you both watch him in amusement.

“alright fine, you big oaf. get in here,” you sigh, moving your arm from around ladybug to open in his direction. he puts on his model-worthy blinding smile and rushes into the hug, squeezing the both of you and raising you off the ground. sometimes you forgot how strong they could be.

during the day, marinette and adrien were the pinnacles of perfectly normal teenagers. it’d been an honor to not only see them grow up from stumbling middle schoolers bestowed with unfathomable power to where they are today.

when you first met mari you thought she was weird, to put it frankly. you’d reflected on how nervous she would get around you and adrien and how you caught her following you a few times, much to her embarrassment at the memories. but after giving her a chance at the behest of alya you found out how amazing she could be. she was incredibly smart, excelling in her studies and being the group's designated tutor. it was only during one of your late-night tutoring sessions, the blue-haired girl smiling at you sweetly and praising you when you got a problem wrong, that you realized you had feelings for her.

and adrien was so radiant it was scary. you figured since he was rich and childhood friends with chloe bourgeois of all people that he’d be another snob for you to ignore. but then that day happened when chloe was jealous of all the attention you were getting on your new hairstyle and dumped a tiny carton of milk on your head. normally you didn't let her get to you, but you couldn't help but tear up and run to hide in an empty classroom. it wasn't until a little later that a soaking-wet adrien sat down next to you, telling you he was sorry for what chloe did, and said “if she’s going to bully my friends, she’ll have to do the same to me.”

after that, it was hard not to harbor feelings for the two of them, and you were so glad when they confessed not only to each other but to you as well. you weren't expecting the whole superhero reveal thing, though. but it warmed you inside to know they trusted you enough with this secret.

“let’s head inside, its getting colder and i don't want you to get sick.” ladybug pulls out of the hug, holding the back of her hand up to your head.

“i’m fine, bug,” you assure her, pulling her hand away and smiling at the way her cheeks tint pink. “what’d you bring me?”

ladybug waves her hand to chat, the boy coming up behind you before your vision goes dark with his hands covering your eyes. you hear the sound of ladybug’s yoyo, then the familiar whssh of her body traveling through the air.

“can you give me a hint at least?” you plead. its been a solid three minutes of waiting for marinette to come back and the excitement is making you antsy. not to mention your leather-clad boyfriend standing right behind you.

“no can do, babe. we both know you'll figure it out and then ladybug will figure out that you've figured it out and then she figures out its because i told you and then-”

“ok ok! i get it! ill wait patiently.”

luckily you don't have to wait long, chat removing his hands to show you marinette standing in front of you holding a bouquet of f/f and a box of your favorite pastries.

“i made them this morning so they'd be fresh in case something happened, thank god we only had to deal with some thieves.” marinette hands you the flowers, the pair of them thankful when you bring them up and take in a deep inhale of their scent, holding them close to your chest.

“i wouldn't call ten men breaking into the louvre just any regular thieves, my lady.” chat chuckles.

ladybug shrugs. “didnt seem so tough to me.”

she shrugs. “didnt seem so tough to me.”

“c'mon you two, lets head inside before some insomniac catches a picture of you two.”

they follow you inside, the both of them able to sneak well after years of practice. you put the flowers in a spare vase on your dresser, gently placing them inside with a smile. you hear a slight smack followed by a 'ow!’ and a laugh. you turn to see your girlfriend scowling at your boyfriend, whose mouth is stuffed with one of the pastries.

“i made them for y/n! at least let her have the first one.” ladybug chastises him, setting the box down on a coffee table before sitting on your white chaise.

chat ignores her, too entranced by the deliciousness of her baking. “whatever you say, buggaboo.”

you smile, loving to watch how they interact with each other. they worked so well together, and sometimes when you admired them it seemed like they were made for each other. if it wasnt so sweet you’d be more jealous, but they never made you feel excluded.

“ill go put these in your kitchen so you can have them for breakfast.” chat puts some of the pastry on a napkin and leaves it on the table for you before picking up the box and slinking out of your door with a wink.

you send him an appreciative smile, looking to the side to see ladybug still slightly pouting.

“its fine bug, i appreciate it no matter what,” you sit down next to her, reaching up to take her mask off as her baby blue eyes look at you fondly. “ill have to repay you somehow. just tell me what and its yours.”

mari looks at you silently for a few seconds more before brining up her hand to cup your face and bringing you in for a sweet kiss. mari's kisses were some of your favorites, the girl always making sure to assert herself as ladybug and it travels into her intimacy.

you pull away reluctantly, her looking at you with a lovestruck grin.

“you already repay me by being mine, mon cheri.” she whispers, placing a gentle kiss on your warm cheek. you start to flirt back when a force plops onto the chaise next to you, a mop of blonde hair landing into your lap.

“i second what she said, my love. only if i get some kisses too obviously.” adrien says, his mask now off to show off his dazzling emerald eyes.

you roll your eyes in playful annoyance but relent, leaning down to give him a kiss as well. adrien’s kisses are just as amazing as mari’s but they feel…desperate. not in the way he kissed you when he underestimated a villain and nearly lost his life, rushing back to your apartment and kissing you before holding you in a tight embrace for an hour.

he was desperate for physical touch, the reminder that he’s yours and your his and that you wont leave him. but no matter how much the two of you pretend to be exasperated at his constant touches and flirting, you want to assure him that you’ll always be here for him no matter what.

the kiss ends and you nearly giggle from the sight of his dopey grin and hooded eyes, quickly widening when mari roughly grabs his cheeks and kisses him dramatically.

“there, happy not, kitty?” she asks, the boy laying limp across your lap.

“yup. perfect.”

after a minute of mari teasing chat for his dopey reaction to your kisses and adrien pointing out how she acts the exact same, the time of night catches up with you and you feel your eyes start to droop. just when you feel the lull of sleep taking you away, a strong pair of arms lifting you up and placing you in bed. when they start to pull away, you tiredly reach your arm out to hold their wrist, whispering a quiet “stay.”

thankfully your loves cant say no to you, the two of them resting on top of the covers as they cuddle you from either side.

its quiet as they stay with you, and you’ve never loved the quiet of the city more.

.

.

.

[goodfully]

a little delayed but i wrote most of this in my notes app waiting for internet access hahaha i finished reading the third book yesterday, mostly in the car, im in the middle of a trip with family and relatives so this might be more vague/disorganized. mm okay thoughts on "those who leave and those who stay"!

i mean all of this in a lighthearted way! but wow idk what i was expecting with nino, i was lowkey hoping he wouldnt be a major character in the third book. oh my god, i swear every time ninos name was revealed (the author of some article, somebodys friend, some babys father, etc..) i mentally rolled my eyes.. i get that hes an important character and its great how he encourages lenu with her academic work much more than pietro ever did, but wow, tbh ive had enough with this guy hahaha

okay! i think what i liked most about this book is that that while the first two books were centered on lenu and lila looking towards their future and escaping their neighborhood, the third book was so much of them both looking back on the past. by that i mean, both their own lives in that neighborhood in naples, as well as history and politics globally.

anyway im glad we got more political history in this book, it just makes sense to i think. lenu and lilas lives are very much affected by it, and always had been, but it becomes much more clear to them now that theyre older, altho ig in different ways. mm like understanding the connection between the violence in the neighborhood they grew up in and the systems of exploitation that exist globally (like imagine finding your first boyfriend is the leader of some fascist thugs that beat ppl up in front of the factory your friend works at). i think its important bc ever since the first book im sure that we've been hearing from both lenu and lila that they feel as tho something beyond their grasp and comprehension is keeping them from escaping from the lives they had/have. and like.. maybe theyve known it was the patriarchy, fascism... before they even knew what it was. ahh the stuff that lenu said in the beginning about how we cant really escape bc the world is poisoned everywhere. its a bleak view, but that part in the very beginning was ahhhhh...

oh god, lenu having daughters.. like.. more mother/daughter relationship things... the things girls learn from their mothers (dede and elsa in front of the mirror acting dissatisfied with the way they look.. i know it was a short, insignificant scene but i would have cried) and also. when lenus mother came to take care of her, and she said "i was afraid she would never return. but she always did"... ahh!!! and then when elena told her daughters about leaving their father and both of her daughters asked if she would take them or begged her to stay. screams. oh oh oh and every single time she notices that one the younger children resembles their father???

as much as i do adore lenu, i find myself attached to lila.. so when there was that big chunk of just purely lilas part of the story, i was excited (despite the very distressing events)... anyway thoughts on that lila part:

i was thinking about how much this part showed how revolutionary movements arent that straightforward, esp between the actual working class and the intellectual students, like when revolutionary movements arent led by the ones the revolution was made purposefully to liberate? ohh actually i have a lot of thoughts on this and the events that happened, i like how much ferrante talks about it, but ill keep it short.. the part with lilas speech in the pamphlet, the fight in front of the factory, pasquale and nadia disagreeing with lenu helping lila, local and state armed fascists, union organizers not truly representing the workers, its relation to the patriarchy etc..

also so heartbreaking, seeing lila lose her mind over her child, believing that the closer he is to her, the more likely he'll break.. like her. god god i understand that feeling, but i imagine its so much worse for lila when its her own child. that thing about feeling trapped in the same fate as your parents is just so so sad. ive literally never wanted to have my own children bc of this.

i know im projecting onto lila, but tbh the idea that lila is aroace is...!!! haha.. like when she was crying and telling enzo that she loves him and wishes every night to hold him close, but "beyond that i dont want anything." and hhfhrh idk i feel this way for a lot of ppl and know i risk being left if im unable to give what the other person in a relationship wants and they suffer for it. hh

oh! i think its cool that while the revolutionary/workers rights movement was a bigger thing for lila, the feminist movement was more significant for lenu.. god pietro was so??? idk why he was so insistent on following traditional husband/wife roles. i thought something was off about him since they first got engaged and he didnt care of her novel. tbh i am happy for her and hope she gets to be content with her self and her life in the next book. oh and the new thing that lenu writes is so interesting... i think maybe the women in the books would find it the truth for them, except probably lila. so it was interesting when alfonso tells lila that he wants to if he was a woman, hed want to be like lila.

oh some other random parts i keep thinking about: when she and lila were talking excitedly like when they were children, and the talk finally inspired something in her to write a second novel. and when lila read it, and cries. and they both say they dont know who they are without the other.. and when lenu starts rambling about how she believes lila has the intense capacity for apocalyptic violence like she did at the start of the second book, i go crazy i love that hahaha. hmm and gigliola... i remember not thinking much of her yet in the first two books, but really i like her and feel a lot for her.

mm there might be stuff i forgotten to mention, but ill end this here for now! i cant believe its only one book left already...

[yung-goos]

irt the last post I rb'd, this topic has always intrigued me, as someone who has struggled with this sort of thing. I'll preface this by saying, I agree with everything op is saying. I think. for starters, this whole "male epdi-" blah blah hooplah shit is a bullshit. and of course it is, we know this. a "loneliness epidemic" however could hold some merit, cuz quite frankly every fucking body is lonely. but I digress. to the c e r t a i n men this speaks to, its a poignant message that needs to be said, heard and felt, and I think at some point in my life this might've hit more close to home. I can't speak for all mascs/men, and I know a lot tend to be loud and wrong about all of this. that being said.... I do think it genuinely goes both ways. and the only reason I didn't realize this sooner was the many ways in which I was socialized around sex. how we're socialized around sex. and I think thats what largely plays into this whole argument. I can go on and on about the toxic aspects around this socialization and how that plays into the way men interact with women, but I'll let yall have that. a part of me tho can't help but deeply sympathize where this might be coming from. I'ma put the rest of this under a cut for more context on where I'm hopefully coming from, cuz it's just gunna get long af, deeply personal and tbh I wanna get some shit out this section kinda summarizes what I feel for the most part. but anyways

tw. SA

*by men and women I mean masc and femmes respectively to be more clear. I aint writing both every damn time tho*

as a non-binary ass nigga let me start off this section by saying I'm under the firm belief many men are trying their best to be their best, but ultimately many are beyond saving, this message will fall on many deaf ears, and quite frankly under patriarchy and cishet norms there will always be an epidemic of men who only pursue relationships with women if sex is involved. very unfortunate. but again, I'll save that for yall to dissect. cuz yall whacking em already enough. under these same cishet norms though, the same can be said for some women towards men

for context, I rarely approach people unless its like, online or through apps, large part due to my debilitating social anxiety. and I do mean debilitating. so in order for most, if not any -ships to begin I have to be approached or have them intiate. women specifically speaking have largely pursued me for just sex and/or romance, which let me be clear, I am mostly fine with this, but I'll get more into that later. I may have not recognized this then but I do notice how this def fucks with dynamics of a friendship if the people involved aren't ready or mature enough to engage with that dynamic. but I think the root of the issue, apart from the way a lot of men view and treat sex, is on a deeper level so many men crave intimacy, and seek it from anywhere they can get it. growing up in a world, and I'm sure this would be annoying for a lot of people to hear, where your feelings as a man arent nurtured through your youth, and not taken seriously, patiently, or with the same sense of urgency as others when you're grown, I can understand the eagerness for men to want, crave, more in situations, even when its inappropriate. like, I grew up emotionally repressed thinking I was never going to be intimate ever with anyone with the way I looked. only to grow up realizing some women never minded, some even liked the way I looked, so you can rest assured I was eager to be thrown any kind of intamacy anyone offered. even when I really shouldn't have. and, well, long story short this sort of can-do attitude, in one example, is what got me sexually assaulted in a movie theatre. while it was packed. and I didn't even realize I was sexually assaulted till another women painted it clearly out for me. and then, the people who engaged with me non-sexually??? well. the one of the more recent women I tried to be friends with, whom I was friends with for awhile before then, sat down with me and expressed how much she missed me and wanted to build a friendship, only to then ghost me after I texted her telling her to lmk when shes free. we were trying to go to a board game restaurant. another wanted to be friends, fuck buddies at first, but when that was taken off the table, for a reason that "didn't involve me" nor did I need to know why apparently(?), proceeded to try and tell me she wanted to be friends and could "see something with me" but could not treat me like a friend (as in opening up or generally just being there for eachother), while in the same breath saying how she has other friends she treats as friends and even then that was a toss up??? and let me not even get started on the countless amount of times I've tried engaging with women about my interests, day, or general life, and be met with disinterest or, hell, even criticism in some cases? all this to say, could you imagine how confusing it is to then try and understand how to engage with women when this is the bulk of your interactions with women? it took me a long while to realize I was essentially groomed and primed to be ready for any and all types of sexual advances from women, sometimes desperate enough that if you gave me an inch I'd be damned if I didn't try going the mile, all because that's the only way women engaged with me seriously, up until a certain point. ultimately I did have to come face to face with how my personal deep need for intimacy encroached on these relationships in ways I did not want or intend. but looking deep down it has only left me with heartfelt, bitter questions. like. Do women treat me with the same level of empathy, patience, and care as their non-masc peers? Are women inclined to invite me to things that aren't sexual in nature? Are men allowed to be sad, emotional, silly, crass, or even wrong around the women I'm around? Can I enthusiastically engage with women about our interests that arent sexual or romantic in nature? do you see where I'm going with this.

I'm fortunate to have made and become besties with a friend who has helped break down a few of these questions that seemed like walls to me and has shown me I am capable, and more importantly, deserving of a friendship thats rooted in care and not just sex. I do not have proof, nor have a spoken to many men on this, but I'm positive a lot of men are dealing with the same or similar feeling or situations. and its seldom ever talked about cuz I don't think these conversations are taken seriously. or just met with bad faith in general. women are absolutely not the ones who are responsible for men or anyone else for that matter. and yes, I do think op is right. men will greatly benefit from divesting from this mental prison we've found ourselves in. I do think we can benefit though from trying to engage with men in more effective ways beyond "men bad", even when they're being (reasonably) ridiculous. but oh my god anyways.

[bulbabutt]

i genuinely cannot believe you read a post where someone said "this text reeks of christian propaganda and that frustrates me" and decided to say "you dont understand the christian text, let me explain what christians believe"

it leads me to believe that despite calling yourself an ex-christian that you haven't grappled with what that really means. you arent grasping that cultural christianity is the entire problem im having. youve basically reworded and explained away any problems as "its like this in christianity". like yes. that is the problem. that is a negative aspect to the story. it speaks to you not growing in society as an outsider to cultural christianity that you cannot see that, and that you havent grown past the indoctrination you probably grew up with. maybe you dont go to church anymore, but arguing that it means more to the world that the robots have literal tangible souls now speaks to how you still believe in that concept.

to be clear: im watching all of transformers chronologically. ive not read idw. i am currently in the middle of prime wars, and just witness megatronus, god of decepticons come out of a firey portal from below. like. jesus thats heavy handed.

to be very clear your statement as a whole here is extremely flawed.

"Humans fulfill the narrative role of robots in Transformers"

i dont think you know much about sci fi robots if you think humans in this universe could take their place in this narrative. the argument for human life in the eyes of the transformer in this universe is more like the argument that an ant has life compared to you. humans are short lived biological creatures, they seem like an accident to a million year old robot.

that is not following the logic of the organic being creating a synthetic one to do its labour, it doesnt ask the question 'we made this being, is it alive? does its life have value, or is it property?'

to get a grasp on the concept im talking about, i recommend you to watch some star trek to learn about what im talking about, this very famous scene comes to mind:

this is not an argument you can make of humans fulfilling the role. this is why we make media about robots. and you might say "well it doesnt have to be the only one" correct, but why does what replaces it need to be some divine intervention? some one to one christian doctrine? youve said it yourself, yet youre not grasping the concept of that being negative.

yes, the robots are more alien than robot, but why? they used to be robots with life outside of 'soul'. they used to be alive without us needing to be able to explain it. heres something seaspray says when his friend worries his lack of what she sees as 'soul' will get him killed:

"Maybe that is all I am, a bunch of transistors and bolts, but I don't believe it! My heart may look like an energon pump but that doesn't mean it can't feel."

its boring to take this concept away to just retell the bible, a story that culturally everyone knows, religious or not. it comes from a patriarchal worldview, the all powerful father who grants us life. it was far more compelling an argument to have the robots be alive despite the lack of what a human would call 'a soul'. the robot represents interesting things, and in g1 it still did.

in g1 they were created by another being, the quintesson. an alien who designed them to be their slaves. the robots rose up against their makers, and its been so long since then they have forgotten. their creators arent an all powerful good being, they are beings who dont value any life outside their own. they hold courts where they view innocence as punishable by death, yet they created our beloved transformers. it makes the transformers more alive to see them as so autonomous in this narrative. here's a fascinating quote from rodimus prime about them:

"We Transformers have looked into the face of our creators...and we have seen the face of an enemy."

this makes them more alive to me then any idea of a life spark ever could. they were beings rebelling against a status quo, thinking and feeling, finding injustice in their existence. taking charge of their autonomy. the fact the quintesson is an enemy to both autobot and decepticon is beautiful, it says something interesting. far more interesting than the idea that a god grants them life and they need to serve him and his worldview, and if you dont then you are the outsider, the decepticon.

also just some quick points of why its bad to base this story on the bible that you havent grappled with:

solus prime is the only female prime. she dies and her body becomes the well of all sparks, also known as the birthing canal of cybertron. woman created in mans image, showing her as deviation from the norm and that her purpose is biological to the lives of men.

we have a divine right of kings. a divine right of primes if you will. the governing system in power has a divine right to be there, creating a pope like figure in whoever leads. do i need to explain why we dont do kings anymore? its a hierachal system that benefits those in power and crushes those who arent.

the decepticons are now the othered, no longer tyrants who are power hungry, but outsiders who have no rights because they do not believe in our beliefs. many examples of why thats bad in the real world.

if the decepticons are the othered, then the autobots are the rulers. it indoctrinates the viewer into seeing the othered as evil. they fight for their rights, but why? do not question it, they do not believe in our beliefs.

it makes the viewer not question authority. why is robots in disguise full of copaganda? it seems for a moment that it will end with us learning the high council is bad and has indoctrinated the planet, but no! its okay it was just those evil decepticons! you know, the ones we hunted down and placed in stasis prison pods for god knows how long? thats where they go, because they are evil and we are good. into the pods you go.

i really charge you to grapple with your own world view. do not claim to be an ex-christian but believe in their beliefs, or if not believe, defend their perspective. all we ever hear about is that perspective. if you are atheist or just a non christian religious person these things seem a lot more obvious. its unfortunate to me that a more interesting more original story could have been told, but it all went out the window to make way for the bible. the fact you are brushing that off is insane to me.

id say maybe im wrong for going off so hard about this toy commercial franchise, but clearly its sending a poor message and people like you havent grasped it yet.

not to still be all up in arms about the transformers religion but holy fuck, robots having religion is nothing new, they can have theology! that makes sense! robots who are fully sentient seeking out a reason for their souls is totally fine! im not saying the transformers shouldnt believe in primus or the all spark or believe in the 13 primes that whole thing works, it just bothers me that the canon of their religion is canon to the story. why is their planet LITERALLY their god. why is their religion based in literal history. i shouldnt even call it their religion, its just their canonical history. thats the problem! it comes from the perspective of writers who see religious doctrine as real history!

it also sucks for the nature of the robot as a concept! instead of being machines so advanced they are sentient, they are now fully formed beings granted souls by their god. thats no longer synthetic life conceptually, is it? that is a higher being creating life out of nothing. the concept of robots comes from slave labour, machines created by man to further their own advancements. machines created by organic life, not machines granted life by an ethereal being. they were created as commentary on capitalism. it asks the question "if this life is created synthetically, but it forms sentient thought, it is alive?". most other stories containing robots do this. think about overwatch's omnics, mass effects geth, star trek characters like data and the doctor, we the audience see them as alive but people in their worlds have to debate about it. that is the point of science fiction, to have theological discussions about robots.

what disappoints me about transformers isnt the changing of the lore, but the fact they couldnt conceive of anything more interesting to say about robots. i was watching g1 thinking "i cant wait to see future adaptations take this concept and flesh it out", and watching these adaptations strip the nature of the robot entirely from the lore in place of some all powerful god really sucks! imagine if their theology was the same, but their history was not. imagine robots who believe their planet is their god in spite of not actually knowing that to be true. wouldnt that be conceptually more interesting? wouldnt that say something?

instead of a unicron who is just a cosmic horror, a rogue planet who hungers for other worlds to sustain itself, unicron now represents all evil in the universe. hes a being of pure evil, existing as the equal and opposite to the canonically good god primus, the planet of cybertron. that ruins the concept to me. theyre taking the fun of science fiction out of it, turning it into basic "all good in the universe comes from god". it takes the choice of being good or evil out of it. giving them literal souls takes them choosing to say they have souls out of it. it takes the choice of valuing biological life away from the robots themselves to say that it is simply evil to not.

maybe some adaptation i havent gotten to yet will say something else, but as it stands right now im just so disappointed that this is the route it took.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Soulmate Au

Before you meet your soulmate you have to deal with a chibi version of them before actually meeting them. So can he handle it?

Dabi's point of view

Reader's view.

He grew up hearing that soulmates were a waste. Not everyone got together with the suppose love of your life, he was warned of that before his father discovered that... his quirk was almost perfect, almost... after this, he had to deal until the day he escaped from home a abusive and toxic family...

Reaching his 18 years old he was living on shelters and streets, during these times due to fighting for his own survival, his scars had marked half of his face and almost all of his body... damn the universe for giving him such a self destructive quirk...

During these times, he also saw many of people getting scared at the sudden appearance of the said chibis or carrying the little things around with eachother... their love was real? Could he really believe that?

His mother always encourage him and his younger sibling thhat they were getting their soulmates despite his father's harsh words.... But how coul someone like him have a soulmate? It was better this way... alone. He was better off alone and with no one with him.

Now, being part of the league of the villain came the said topic about chibis which always leaved him a little pissed off. Toga was rambling about that green haired kid from the USJ again, and he was so tired and annoyed that he got off from the couch and went to his quarters, merely flipping Spinner and Compress off when they asked him where he was going.

Closing the door, he let himself drop on what was suppose to be his bed with a sigh before he heard a sound. He tried to ignore it, but the constant squeaking was getting him crazy...

"Wanna play cat and mouse fucking rat? Let's make a barbecue then." He lighten his hand on fire before getting up with a gruff and looking at the corner of his small room to see a little person there, looking up at him.

"The hell?" He muttered as he tried to burn the thing but they squeaked and ran off to jump on his bed.

Looking at them with boredoom, he sighed and tried to aproach again, no more with his quirk activated in a attempt to not scare the poor thing again... Narrowing his eyes at its it only blinked at him before opening a open smile... Letting him know how much he was fucked and how those mom's stories were indeed true...

There in front of him was his chibi.

.

.

.

Despite trying to hidding it from everyone in the league, eventually they spotted him trying to get away from the chibi whose was trailing behind him. A sense of anger and jealousy burned inside him as Twice and Spinner talked and tried to at least poke at the chibi's cheeks, whose always squeaked in protest and ran towards him.

"Dammit Dabi! Your chibi is really clingy!" Spinner whined as Dabi only stared nonchantly at the chibi on his ankle.

"You can have it." He mumbled in annoyance before he walked out with the damn chibi on him.

The chibi suddenly squeaked and ran after something before coming back with a note of money... He hadn't notice it before and coincidentally he had complained to himself a bit yesterday that he was out of money... and there it was his chibi always glued to him with a smile offering it to him.

"Thanks.." he said with a smirk while kneeling down and grabbing as he widened his eyes at the kiss they blew at him... "Oh fucking god you're cute." He muttered whiel trying not to chuckle at it.

.

.

.

Weeks had passed and he tried to find his soulmate even on the day time as he walked with his chibi chilling on his shoulder... yet all in vain. It had been almost months already yet he hadn't found the actual version of doll.

"Neee Dabi???" Toga cooed behind him as he toon another gulp of his drink with his chibi swinging their legs up and down on his shoulder "Let me see that chibi of yours real quickly?"

"You psyco dont touch my doll." He muttered nonchantly as he finsihed his alcohol as Toga squealed.

"awww you call it doll! That's even cuter-" in one quick montion she snatched the chibi on his shoulder and aimed the knife to their little throat "I'm just curious about how it looks their blood after all!"

"Give them back right now you brat-" Dabi grunted while standing up before Shigaraki appeared out of no where and holded the chibi by their arm as they emmited a sound of pain.

"Such a bothering little thing. Tell me again why you're keeping this?" He showed the chibi with more emphasis as flames surrounded the indigo haired man's shoulders, arms and hands.

"Give. Them. Back." He growled the worlds as shigaraki only looked at Kurogiri before sighing at the way the golden orbs squinted abjt before throwing the chibi at Dabi.

"If you like playing with dolls whatever, as long as it doesn't bother us anymore." Dabi scowled at his boss before walking quickly to his room and placing the chibi carefully down.

"Fucking hell.. does it hurt?" The chibi only looked up at him with teary eyes but shocked their head while waving the arm.

"But does it hurt my soulmate?" He asked and felt a pain of guilt surround him as the chibi nodded sadly and hugged his scarred hand when he seemed down.

"... well." He smirked while cupping the chibi and already putting on his disguise "At least now I will finally know my real dollface." The chibi squeaked in glee before jumping out of his hand and grabbing his sunglasses and offering to him.

.

.

.

He walked carefully on the street and occasionally scoffed at some heroes doing patrols on the day light. The chibi grabbed on his ear suddenly and squeaked loudly as he groaned.

"What now?" He grunted while rubbing hjs now sore ear as the chibi squeaked more and more before he blinked and cursed out loud when they simply jumped away from him and ran towards teb entrance of the hospital.

"Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit-!" Just about when he went to call out for them, he accidentally bumped into someone, somehow hard enough to make both of him and the other person to fall straight to the floor.

He went to curse them out before he gasped at seeing his vision clear, he was without his sunglasses and went immediately to take them before he felt another warm touch on his hand to make joist of electricity roll over all his body from hand to head and toe.

The first thing he notice when he looked up was his own little shit of a chibi hugging a squirt version of himself... then he saw his soulmate... By God, no offense to the chibi version... hit you were way more prettier and beautiful than them.

He wished the moment could have last longer before he noticed a few people staring as he cursed under his breath, ignoring your attempts to apologize as he spoke:

"Here." He offered his hand to help you up, lifting your body up and trying not to wince and furrow his eyebrows at seing that you had actually an injury arm because of him not protecting your chibi enough "We wouldn't want any other person to see us."

"I-I sure." You nodded following him to a more secluded place, your chibis trailing after you both.

On a dark alley, he prepared himself mentally to show you his face... surely you weren't idiot enough to not know who he was and what he did... and he surely wasn't the best candidate to be someone's else soulmate... after all, he was a broken soul... not enough to anyone.

"You arent dumb. You know already who I am and what do I look like-" he turned to you, shoving his hood down to show you his face "Right? Dollface?"

He expected everything... you to flinch, scream or cringe at his appearance. Despite you seing how he was as a chibi, he knew that the real deal was horrible... yet, he felt your soft and gentle hands cup his face as while he could see the sincerity and love behind those beautiful (E/c) orbs.

"You're the most beautiful man I ever saw... You know how much I've been waiting to see you?"

Those words made him smile... right there, on the middle of alley that could hide you both, chibis on the ground staring up at you two... he knew. He knew that the person he was holding their wrist and looking lovingly at them...

Was his soulmate.

[thechangeling]

Shame

Kit reflects on his life and his sexual orientation. I guess this is kind of a character study peice but also partly headcanon.

Ok so massive trigger warnings for internalized homophobia and biphobia. Also a 2012 definition and understanding of bisexuality and gender sk sorry about that but I wanted to be accurate to the time period.

I still have a lot of internalized homophobia even in the year of our lord 2021 so I wanted to work through it in my writing I guess.

"I think you're only fighting for the sake of fighting. Because it's the only state in which you can function. The only way to stop that voice in your head from driving you insane. The one telling you that you should be ashamed of yourself for having loved him."

- Black Sails: Season 2 Episide 5

Kit could remember the first time he felt it as clear as day. The first time he felt that twinge at the pit of his stomach after being reprimanded for talking about his crush on a boy. The inward cringe that followed. That disgust others showed him, reflected back onto himself.

Self loathing became as easy as breathing at such a young age.

He could distinctly remember being in mundane first grade and being asked by a loud girl with light blond hair and crystal blue eyes who he had a crush on. Kit had seen no reason to lie at the time. He had told the girl that he had two crushes. One on a girl in their class who was shy and asocial (he had always had a thing for nerds apparently) with her jet black hair that was always full of hello kitty clips, and another on a boy in a different class who was blond like him with a round face and a giant friendly smile that Kit loved to stare at.

At the time he had no real sense of the seriousness of what he was saying. No sense that he was breaking an unspoken rule in the eyes of his classmates. But Kit would never forget the look on the girls face. The eyes that narrowed in distain, the curled lip and the way her nose crinkled in disgust as she she said, "boys arent supposed to have crushes on boys. That's gross." And the cackling laughter of his classmates surrounding him.

And the feeling that followed, the one that would become as familiar and easy as breathing.

Shame.

That pinch in his gut and the way his blood went cold like someone had just injected him with antifreeze. And then the sinking in his chest accompanied by the realization that he had done something terrible. Kit realized that day that he could never make that same mistake again. So after that day he vowed never to talk about his interest in boys ever again.

The first time he heard the word gay he was eight and it was as an insult. It wasn't directed at him but it still felt like it was. He learned to make the connection between the word and disgust and contempt. But as he grew older he became relieved, because he knew he liked girls. He had always thought they were pretty with their soft skin and nice smelling hair. This meant he wasn't gay so he was safe. He convinced himself that he had just been confused before when he was younger.

So he grew up pushing those feelings to the side and telling himself convincing lies over and over until he finally believed it, and Johnny Rook made it easy. Kit was often so preoccupied with running cons and keeping a low profile that he didn't have much time for self reflection. When he found his gaze wandering, he told himself he was just being curious or suspicious or just appreciating an attractive guy from a purely aesthetic point of view and there was absolutely nothing else to it. He kissed pretty girls whenever he had the chance and enjoyed it and relished in the fact that this meant he was safe.

From an outside perspective it may have looked like Kit Herondale was losing control of the situation.

Maybe they were right.

Tiberius Nero Blackthorn felt like a giant fuck you from the universe for believing that he could ever escape this. Or maybe he was a test. But whatever Ty was, it was a little hard to care when he was animatedly explaining the reproductive cycle of a starfish and beaming at Kit with his rare carefree smile that made Kit feel like he was drowning in bliss.

And despite everything. Despite Kit's fear, it made him want to smile too. The urge to reach out and touch Ty was like a burning in his veins, accompanied by the foolish belief that if Kit could just run his fingers through Ty's matted black hair or press his forehead against his, then everything would be alright.

Kit wasn't sure if he should be grateful or furious.

"How beautiful" had been his first thought upon seeing him. Slipping out of some deep treacherous part of him before he could stop it. Followed of course by the shame.

But he wasn't gay. It didn't matter that Ty was beautiful and captivating and made him feel like he was strong enough to fight the gods themselves given the challenge. It didn't mean anything. He was just confused.

And when Julian made a comment about Herondales having a certain type when he called Clary hot, he ignored the twisting of his insides and the painful fact that his thoughts were drifting off into forbidden territory. He pretended that he was what Julian said he was. What he was supposed to be.

When Livvy had asked him to kiss her it felt like a lifeline. A way to distract himself from all the chaos in his life as well as a way to take his mind off of Ty. A pretty girl was giving him something to cling onto, if only for a moment. He still paused to look upwards. An automatic reflex. Almost as if he was a magnet trying to snap back into it's original place.

Livvy kissed him and although it was nice and sweet, he still felt nothing. Only longing for something else.

Then he learned about Kieran and how he was basically Mark's ex boyfriend. He had been sure that Mark was dating Emma so he asked Livvy about it. She had given him a confused look and just said that Mark was bisexual.

Bisexual.

He had heard the word before, mostly to describe celebrities who wanted to make a name for themselves in the tabloids. Kit had always quickly dismissed it before he could allow himself to actually ponder the idea. It was safer to assume it wasn't actually real, because if it wasn't real then it couldn't be him. He wouldn't have to face up to the fact that an attraction to men and women sounded uncomfortably accurate and familiar.

Bisexual. It gnawed at him in his sleep. Poking at his insides and refusing to let him forget it. And so Kit clued his eyes shut and squirmed his way out if it. He thought of the way Ty's smoke coloured eyes seemed to bore into Kit's soul. The sharp angles of his cheekbones and curve of his cupid's bow. Kit thought of the way Ty had asked if he could give Kit a permanent rune and when Kit had answered sarcasticly, Ty's crestfallen expression had horrified him to the point where Kit had practically begged Ty to do it.

Anything to get that look off Ty's face. But it wasn't like that he reminded himself. It wasn't love. It wasn't love.

Jesus. Love. Just the idea of the word sent Kit into a blind panic. And there was that old familiar feeling curling around his gut. That same disgust. That shame.

Not towards Ty. No of course not. He could never feel that way about Ty, or Mark or Kieran or Helen or Aline or anyone else because they didn't deserve it.

But he did. He always did.

When Livvy was killed, Kit almost felt a sense of relief because at least now he had something else to focus on, something g else to worry about. If he was focused on protecting Ty from his own worst instincts then he wouldn't have time to get list I'm thoughts he shouldn't be having.

He knew this made him a selfish horrible person. Kit accepted it.

Kit knew this plan of Ty's was a reckless and horrible idea but he just couldn't stand to see him in pain. He also couldn't bare the thought if what might happen if he refused to help Ty. Also he was helpless in the face of Ty's pleading gaze. Deep down Kit knew that he would probably do anything for him.

He would break himself trying to put Ty back together.

It wasn't until Ty actually attempted the spell that Kit finally cracked. He couldn't let Ty go through with this. He couldn't risk it.

Why? Something inside of him pondered.

Why?

Because Kit was going to die if something happened to Ty. The spell was going to go bad and Ty was going to get hurt or killed and Kit's heart was going to be brutally ripped from his chest and it was going to be unbearable.

Because-

"I love you Ty," he breathed, hating himself instantly. "I love you."

Ty didn't respond. He didn't react, didnt even flinch. Just stared blankly at Kit.

Shame.

It was going to ruin him. It was going to swallow him whole.

Yikes that was kinda all over the place sorry.

I'm basically tagging all if my mutuals at this point. Let me know if you want me to stop tagging you. @scrat-is-god @playwithravenclaw @lavender-scented-rat @knifescythe @ti-bae-rius @irene-blacxthorn @dianasarrow @doitforthecarstairs @jazzkaurtheglorious @waterlillies @zfoxdraws @julieandthefandoms @older-brother-kit @anxiousbookenthusiast @ilikebooks8 @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @autumnangel20 @hufflepuffyskam

Also let me know if you want to be added!

[sephirothisaslut]

Hypocratic Oath

(Featuring doctor/researcher!Cloud)

Cloud was 8 when he first found the library in the Nibelheim Mansion.

Through his childhood, Cloud often stayed in the mansion. Hiding from bullies, staying the day to pass time, or just simply to explore. No one would bother him here. All the kids think the place haunted, and all the adults fear it just as much. It made the perfect place to relax or hide.

Cloud thought he had already seen every nook and crany in the mansion. But was surprised when he found a library full of scientific text. It's doors made to look like any other wall, making it hard to spot.

There arent much books in Nibelheim. There's a library in the school, but it can more accurately be described as a classroom full of books instead of a proper library. And it's not like the custodian would let him in.

So as soon as Cloud entered, he immediately started reading.

At first, Cloud was very confused. He had a very limited understanding and comprehension of the text. But even from the little information he was able to gather, he was able to piece together the horrifying things ShinRa has done.

It spooked him so much, it took him a full week till he decided to read more.

He read them all. Project S, Jenova, and Sephiroth.

At that time, Cloud didn't know who this Sephiroth is. All he knows is that he must have led a painfull life.

-------

Cloud was 10 when he first saw Sephiroth on the television.

A general leading a war.... A fourteen year old general.

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Cloud's mother immediately noticed this.

"Cloudy you look pale, are you ok?" Claudia stroked her son's forehead, looking for any sign of fever.

"Y-yeah I'm good" Cloud managed to hide his shock.

"Really?"

"Yes ma. Really"

That night, Cloud thought of how it must have felt. His mother is warm and kind, he'd feel lonely without her. He wondered if Sephiroth felt any semblance of kindness or tenderness in his life.

The very next morning, he immediately raced to the mansion to find more. To find answers.

He found his answers in the form of Vincent Valentine.

He almost quite literally fell on him.

The man loomed over Cloud. His glowing red eyes and equally blood red cape screamed 'vampire'. And Cloud was rightly frightened so.

"What are you doing here child?" The man said with a glare.

"T-the library! Sephiroth- I mean-"

"What do you know about Sephiroth?" The man demanded.

Cloud stiffened both in fear and surprise. His face draining of color. The tall man seemed to notice this, and slowly crouched down to Cloud's level, now attempting to look non threatening.

"I'm sorry if I scared you, but can you tell me about Sephiroth?" The man asked kindly.

Cloud only nodded, his fear slowly evaporating. "I can show you the library" he said quietly.

"Take me there? Please?" The man asked almost desperately.

Cloud just nodded again, and took the stranger by his hand and led him to the hole he fell in.

Vincent looked at the child. How curious that this kid would choose to guide him by his misshapen hand.

"I'm Cloud. Cloud Strife" the child said in a shy tone.

"Vincent Valentine"

The child's small smile made him think there's hope for him yet.

---------------

Years passed and Cloud and Vincent's friendship grew.

Vincent was able to teach Cloud a number of things. He helped him comprehend the numerous scientific texts in the library, and even taught him about science and self-defence.

Vincent also helped distinguish truth from lie.

Cloud learned the truth of Sephiroth's true mother. How a scientist named Hojo betrayed them, and what he did to Vincent. In turn, Cloud told Vincent about Sephiroth's role as general, frequently updating him on the situation in Wutai. And sometimes bringing him home cooked meals.

With Vincent's tutoring and the library's numerous texts, Cloud grew smarter. He read because of curiousity. But now read to learn. This brought him to the top of his class, sparking an interest in biology and science. Though this didn't change the town's view on the Strifes.

His Ma, on the other hand, felt proud. And so did he.

-----

Cloud was 14 when he decided to go to Midgar.

Not to be a SOLDIER, no. But to be a Doctor.

After learning all those things about how SOLDIER was made, he couldn't stomach possibly being one.

It was a week after his birthday that he decided he'd help Vincent in any way he can. At first, Vincent disagreed. Saying it'll be dangerous, and that he'd be safer away from him. But Cloud is stubborn and fierce. There's a reason they're called Strife.

So, after some reluctance, Vincent eventually agreed.

Cloud is but a child. He's abysmal at fighting, and his aim with a gun is barely passable. The Turks wont suit him, and neither will SOLDIER. The only thing he has is his intelligence.

So Cloud steeled himself, and made the decision to join ShinRa's Science Department. Bringing him closer to Hojo, and by extension, Sephiroth.

"Oh my little raincloud, I'm going to miss you!" Claudia hugged her son. Silently praying to Odin for a safe journey, and thanking him for blessing her with Cloud.

"I'll miss you too ma." Cloud said, hugging back. Who would have thought that his grades would be enough to grant him a ShinRa Science Program Scholarship.

With a wave goodbye to his mother, Cloud Strife set out into the harsh world.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

"Professor Hojo, the President want's to see you" Cloud said behind the man.

The greasy scientist only tisked. And angrily dumped his clip board on Cloud.

"Keep track of the the data. Do not take your eyes off the specimen" Hojo snapped.

Cloud held back a snarky remark and politely nodded instead.

He looked down into the enclosure. The creature thrashing around in it's own blood. Choking on the mako gas.

He only continued to record data.

-----

"I'm Zack Fair! SOLDIER extroidinaire!" The newest SOLDIER First Class saluted at Cloud. His cheery smile a stark contrast to the rubble behind him.

Cloud had headed out in civilian clothing hoping to meet up with Vincent and Aerith. (Aerith was scared of him at first, learning that he apparently worked for Hojo).But instead somehow got caught in an AVALANCHE explosion.

"Name's Cloud. Cloud Strife" He somehow was reminded of a puppy as he studied Zack.

"Oh! You're Aerith's friend!" Zack shook his hand enthusiastically.

"And you're her boyfriend"

"Yup."

"You know as her friend, I'm obligated to say: if you break her heart, I will break you"

"Yeah yeah I know the drill"

Cloud only smiled at the raven-haired puppy's antics.

------------

Two dark figures walked through the dark alleyways of the slums.

The smaller one knocked on the door of a closed bar.

"It's me"

The door opened and the pair walked in.

Both of them shedding their cloaks revealing two SOLDIER First Class.

"Ok he's here now explain" Zack sat on a stool facing the rest of the room.

Angeal and Genesis are there. So is Aerith and Vincent.

"Yes, do explain. As I recall, you two told me that you'd 'never show you faces' to me ever again." Sephritoh said, clearly hurt from Genesis and Angeal's defection.

"Seph, please wait-"

"I did my waiting Genesis! Now explain before I leave."

"They were dying" Vincent said from the corner of the room. "The J-cells they had were degrading"

"And how did you cure this? Even Hollander couldn't save them." Sephiroth asked suspiciously, still mad from the previous interaction. "Unless you asked Hojo"

"Before we do, we need to talk about Jenova-" Angeal was cut off by Sephiroth.

"We can do that later. Now answer my question."

Both Zack and Sephiroth looked at the group expectantly. There is weight to Sephiroth's words.

"I cured them" a voice from the door suddenly said.

"You" Sephiroth hissed.

"Cloud?" Zack gasped.

"I work for Hojo. I'm his primary assistant"

"What?" Zack tensed

"And you trust this man?" Sephiroth turned to Genesis and Angeal, gesturing to Cloud.

"Will you stop and listen!" Cloud snapped. "Listen here you pompous asshole, I risked my ass making you three that cure in Hojo's lab!"

"Wait three-"

"Yes, three. As in even Sephiroth needed one. So you better sit down and listen to what we have to say" Cloud growled, staring Sephiroth down. Daring him to say something.

As the silence permeated, Angeal cleared his throat, as if to ask permittion to continue.

"It started with Jenova"

------

They burned the Nibelheim reactor to the ground.

Sephiroth and Zack defected with Genesis, taking with them the rest of SOLDIER and a bulk of the infantry division.

They recruited Tifa on the way. Along with Yuffie -a Wutainese ninja, Cid - a pilot with a penchant for tea, and Nanaki -one of Hojo's specimens that Cloud helped escape, and AVALANCHE.

Cloud stayed in ShinRa as their spy.

But ever so often, he'd still meet with his friends just to chat or drink.

"Strife"

Cloud looked at Sephiroth questioningly. "What can I do for you?"

Sephiroth almost looked bashfull. His body language looked shy.

"I would-... I would like to thank you"

"For what"

"For...everything, I suppose" If the Silver General could blush, then he might have been now.

Cloud's breath hitched. "You're Welcome, General"

"Please, call me Sephiroth"

"Well then, call me Cloud. Sephiroth"

That day, Zack endlessly teased Sephiroth about his tiny smile.

---------

Cloud tended to Sephiroth's wounds. Careful to make sure it didn't hurt the man any more than necessary.

"You really need to take care of yourself"

"I'm fine"

Cloud sighed, "Sephiroth, you're still human. You need rest."

"After what Hojo did, I'm surprised you can still call me human" Sephiroth said bitterly.

Cloud grasped the man's shoulder, turning the general to face him.

"Sephiroth. Look at me" Cloud asked sternly. "You're as human as everyone as us"

"But-"

"Humanity isn't determined by your genetics, you know that" Cloud gently insisted.

"I-...Thank you" Sephiroth whispered, sounding broken.

That made Cloud realize how much Sephiroth must have wanted to hear that.

To hear confirmation of his humanity.

--------

It took several aching years till they finally took over ShinRa.

SOLDIER readily supported their generals, and the Turks soon defected after Veld and Vincent told them everything.

It didn't take long for Hojo to fall, and ShinRa to be taken over by Rufus.

Scarlett, Heidegger, Palmer, and even Hollander died. All of them officially coincidentally died of heart attacks. Confirmed by the new head of the Science Department himself.

"We finally did it huh?" Cloud leaned against Sephiroth's shoulders.

"Hmm, you think this will work?" Sephiroth moved to wrap his hands around Cloud.

"Well me and Reeve are working on alternate energy sources right now. It should be fine"

Sephiroth nuzzled Cloud's neck. "For now we should rest"

Cloud sighed into their embrace. "Yeah...we should"

(Loosely based on Professor Strife)

[aoiazamis]

im sick and tired of having to see discourse abt kaeluc luckae whatever the hell you want to call it bc as someone who likes both kaeya and diluc and is chinese and adopted i have to see so much of it so here are my two cents on it.

(very long bc its all the thoughts that have been stewing in my brain since i found out there was disk horse)

for context before we begin: i am chinese adopted by a chinese family living outside of china (my grandparents grew up in china). i have combed through diluc and kaeya’s dialogue, voice-over lines, and character stories multiple times and in multiple different languages, independently of the disk horse simply bc they’re both on my team and i like them a lot as a result. ive spent tons of effort trying to make sense of both character’s personalities, their conflicts, and what their motivations are.

ok lets start here. how do i view kaeya and diluc? as adopted siblings. why? less serious answer: because im adopted and there are already at least two adopted characters in the game so why not bring it to three. more serious/genuine answer: i personally think kaeya being adopted is very essential to understanding his character and how he views his relationship with mondstadt. i know everyone gets up in arms over the two-character chinese word “sworn brothers/adopted brothers” but even if they were to omit that line entirely, kaeya’s story is very reliant on him seeing the ragnvindrs as his family and a direct contrast to his birth father. here’s how i see it: kaeya was taken in and raised by crepus after appearing at dawn winery. it’s perfectly reasonable for kaeya to see crepus as his father and diluc as his brother. if i were in kaeya’s position, dropped in a whole new country with nothing but the clothes on my back and i was taken in my a dude and his son, that would surely be like my birth family to me.

now, i have read the chinese version, and from what i can see all the words they use to describe crepus and diluc in relation to kaeya are pretty vague (as far as i can tell). the phrase “sworn brothers,” while it refers to a popular bl trope, does also have the meaning of a literal adopted brother. the word used to refer to crepus could mean “adopted father” or “father in law.” (in japanese and korean, they use the exact same words in both instances, no real change.) if im gonna be honest? i think that’s intentional. the devs/writers specifically leave their relationship vague so it can be interpreted by fans however they like; because after all genshin is a gatcha games and partially relies on fan attachment to characters in order to profit. by inviting fans to choose their kind of relationship -> fans dont feel alienated or “wrong” -> more fans who are willing to whale for them or create fan content that will promote their game. im no marketing major so take this with a grain of salt but ive always felt that this was a plausible explanation for why there’s no definite answer and it all seems so vague.

so, do i give a fuck if a random given person on the internet ships them romantically? no. im not paid enough to. do i give a fuck if someone who ships them romantically follows me? no, as long as they dont come onto my kaeya and diluc content deliberately talking abt them in a romantic sense as i make it clear i dont like it. (essentially, “you’re welcome to stay here but idk how much of my content you’re gonna care for.”) “but tumblr user nowwhywouldyoudothat!” you say, “you just reblogged gen art from an artist who ships kaeluc!” i am also not paid enough to do a background check and every simple lovely general art i see of these two. i wont ever reblog anything thats inherently romantic for the two since i dont like it, and why would i reblog things i dont like? i will simply ignore that artist’s ship art and just enjoy the single gen art that i just reblogged. its simple.

this is already crazy long and i might have haphazardly explained things and ill clarify them if anyone even reads this lol. but basically, my bottom line is i dislike kaeluc as a romantic ship and think its strange and weird and i dont get it. when i create something about the two, i make sure to note that it is not intended to be romantic. i dont care if someone who does ship them interacts with it, so long as they arent going “KYAA I SHIP THEM SO MUCH” in the comments of my fic that examines their relationship as brothers. at the end of the day, its pixels on a screen, its not that deep. i am begging genshin fans to stop telling ppl to kill themselves or send death threats or doxx ppl over ships. you’re allowed to disagree with/dislike ships, problematic or not, but please at least act like normal human beings when doing so.

so yeah. thats it. a whole ass essay abt discourse. ive always wanted to say it but i never had enough word count lol or organization.

[autumn-foxfire]

I dont think you are reducing hawks to his wings by making their importance for him clear, but I think the comission and hawks himself reducing hawks with his wings is what would do it in. Like the first thing comission did was look at his wings and say wow this kid is blessed. It wouldnt suprise me if hawks grew up greatly valuing his wings because, aside from them being his limbs and sensory organs, he was conditioned to belive they were no 1 most important thing about him. They were what got him out of the slums and on his way to be like his idol. They were what helps him save people and they were what made him able to save and support his idol when it mattered most. I honestly doubt that they arent a huge part of his identity and that losing them wouldnt cause depression and identity crisis.

And like...Horikoshi simply doesnt have time to do that. Like i wanna put trust in Horikoshis writing cuz he surprised me before (endeavor arc) but i find it hard to imagine he would be able to fit in a satisfying depression n recovery arc for hawks along side with the same for EVERY major character that was in the raid cuz oh boy will there be clean up. N if its handled wrong then hawks haters will go haha we were right it is a punishment and honestly i dont want the story to give that to them.

Like Hawks already sacrificed EVERYTHING. His ideals, his morals, his body, his heart. He was ready to go above and beyond for the mission and he did. He got TORTURED under the thing he is the weakest too. I dont think him getting 'punished' for stopping a literal army on his own would sit well with me.

Tldr: Let Hawks Rest He's Had Enough ;^;

Bix they really did remove word limit on mobile i wonder will this even go through

I can fuck around with it now too :0

You know, pointing out how important Hawks probably views his wings and then remembering the fight with Dabi makes me even more upset because Hawks willingly turned his back on Dabi and let him burn his back because it meant that he could focus on Twice. He sacrificed something he knew was important to him in order to save everyone else and wow, someone get this man so therapy and thank him for everything he did in the raid because not many people would be able to do that.

As you said, Hawks losing his wings isn’t bad (even though I personally hate it so much) but I just don’t think Horikoshi will be able to give Hawks the attention he would need in order to make this arc satisfying for his fans. He’ll have to much to focus on post raid (especially now if you’ve seen the leaks for 285, something tells me they will be recieving more angst then other characters), so trying to tackle a character losing his quirk and his identity in a satisfying way on top of that? He’d be stretching himself thin if you ask me (and would stall the plot too).

And yeah, Hawks being punished any more for saving people just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I’d rather that didn’t happen.

Horikoshi give us some hope please. Don’t let this arc be so miserable.

[syilcawrites]

a/n: hello earth and fe3h fandom, I wrote something for sylvgridbigbang (twitter) and had the pleasure to collab with artist Bringmemisery (twitter), so make sure to go check out their wonderful art!! It’s my first time writing this ship but I hope you enjoy it hoho!!

summary: Sylvain is reckless, and Ingrid isn’t okay with that

tags: hurt/comfort, post-timeskip, post war, angst with a happy ending

ao3

daffodils

Ingrid had never been outside by the pond at night. Despite the lack of presence at the Monastery for the past five years, she could still spot some fishes swimming about, gathering around her as if they were waiting for her to drop food.

She hummed as she eyed a dead daffodil floating across the surface of the pond water toward her, and as it grew closer, the little fishes tried to nip at it.

"Hm, did a bandit actually feed you this entire time or something?" she murmured curiously as she dropped bits and pieces of bread into the water. Her lips tilted up into a lopsided smile as she watched them greedily snap up at the surface to get the crumbs.

Ingrid chewed absentmindedly at the rest of her meal, as she let out a small sigh. It was the last night before they left the Monastery to march toward Enbarr, to end the war once and for all.

Once and for all…

She stared down at her plate of food, stopping mid-chew. It was one of her favorites—pheasant roast with berry sauce—and even though she had it several times over the past five years, she missed eating it here, at the Monastery.

Five years.

Her eyes fluttered shut as she inhaled and exhaled slowly—the crisp night air cooled down the panic that had sprung in her chest.

Five years since she died and was reborn anew—if she could meet herself from five years ago, what would she tell herself?

Her eyes flit over to the window, where she could see the shadows of her laughing friends inside the Mess Hall—she caught a glimpse of the Professor passing by the door, whispering to someone that Ingrid couldn't see.

Among the chaos and dissent in Faerghus, she had only seen her classmates in whispers: in glimpses of broken windows, in the imprint of footsteps against the soft snow, in the memories of flickering candlelights.

Her eyes misted over, but she blinked it away as she stared back down at the fishes.

"We'll be fine," she whispered to herself, grabbing a pheasant leg. She ripped a hefty piece out of it with her teeth. She needed to eat, she needed energy, if she was going to protect them. She'll make up for all those lost lives, and this time… this time no one else will die.

"If you eat that fast you're gonna choke, you know."

Ingrid jumped at his voice, almost dropping the leg into the pond water.

She glared at him.

"Sylvain," she grumbled, promptly dropping it back onto the plate as she reached for her napkin. "You know you shouldn't sneak up on me while I'm eating."

He laughed heartily as he took a seat next to her, his smile reaching from ear to ear. "I forgot how engrossed you get when you're eating."

She clicked her tongue in feigned annoyance as she wiped her hands. "Why are you out here?"

"Why arent you inside with everyone else?" He replied back without missing a beat. Typical—answering her question with another question. "The Professor has been shooting worried glances at you ever since the start of dinner." He pat his stomach in satisfaction with such a comfortable, content smile that Ingrid wanted to siphon some of his relaxed, carefree aura to herself too.

Because with each passing second the knot in her gut had been tightening, ever since this morning.

"I just needed some fresh air," Ingrid said simply. She leaned back on her hands and looked up at the stars. It would've been comfortable, if she didn't feel his undivided attention on her. He made no effort to hide that he was actively staring at her.

"What is it?" Ingrid glanced at him. He's been like this a lot, ever since they reunited. He just… stared at her for minutes without saying anything sometimes. And when she would point it out, he would blink and that weird, far-off gaze of his would disappear. She always wondered how the inner cogs in his head worked, and at some point, she thought she had figured it out. And then her effort went down the drain along with those five years apart.

"It's just nice that we can talk like this again," he said with a shrug.

Their last moments together were still fresh in her mind—being torn apart from one another by the onslaught of Imperial troops. She had never seen his brown eyes, usually filled with laughter, look so dark and desperate as his hand lost grip on her arm. She knew he had always held his grief in a locked box, but in that moment, it had spilled out for her to see in full view, and she could do nothing.

After the Battle of Garreg Mach, she came back to the Monastery at night, and cried in relief when she couldn't find his body—and none of her other classmate's bodies—amongst the corpses that lay rotting.

"If you look at me with such wistful eyes I might bite you."

Ingrid blinked, unfazed. "Are you really trying to practice your flirting techniques on me right now? Don't tell me you're going to try to flirt your way through Enbarr?" she scoffed, punching his arm. "You really have gotten weirder over the past five years."

"Hm," he said, tilting his head at her as if he was in deep thought. "Really?"

"I would've thought your flirting skills would've improved after all this time, but when you asked me about my make-up—"

"Okay, okay, I've heard enough!" Sylvain chanted as he placed a hand over her mouth. "It's been a long time since I last saw you!"

Ingrid laughed as she pulled his hand away. "That explains nothing—"

"I just wanted to know if the guy you liked deserved your—"

"You're deluding yourself if you think I'm wearing make-up for some man," Ingrid scoffed, looking at his hand. The closest thing she had to a romantic partner was her lance, which was dutifully by her side every day for as long as she could remember.

Since Glenn.

Ingrid tightened her hold on Sylvain's hand.

"Don't be careless tomorrow," Ingrid demanded quietly, her eyebrows knitting together as she brushed her thumbs over the callouses dotting his skin. There were a lot more than she remembered.

"You should worry about yourself."

"I appreciate the concern," she said, raising her eyes to meet his gaze. "But you and I both know that I'm more than capable of taking care of myself."

He frowned at her.

"I don't intend to drop dead tomorrow," she said with an easy smile, releasing a hand to reach for her cup of wine. When she raised it to offer some to him, he was still frowning. "I can protect myself, and I will protect you too." She thought her words would've reassured him, but instead, it seemed to… do the exact opposite. He looked away from her.

"You've always been like that Ingrid," he muttered with a twinge of annoyance. "Always thinking about others. Haven't you learned to take care of yourself these past five years?" His words were sharp—she knew him well enough that his words bore no ill intention toward her, but it bothered her all the same.

"Of course I have." Ingrid dropped his hand and pressed her palm against her chest. "I always have. Why do you think I've always trained relentlessly for?" She always put herself first so that… so that she could protect everyone. Protect him.

He didn't look at her, and simply glared at the fishes swimming around them as if it was their fault.

She didn't want to see another familiar face in the aftermath of destruction—no, she couldn't. She would never let that happen, never let that future ever come into the light.

"Then for my sake, stay where I can see you tomorrow." His hand hovered over her cheek, but instead, he placed it on her shoulder instead, squeezing. "When we reach Enbarr, stick by me. Please."

The light from the Mess Hall flickered against the side of his face as he stared at her.

"Okay," she whispered, nodding. "I will."

——————————————————————

The tip of the lance hissed passed her head, grazing her ear, as she ducked just mere seconds before it swiped the spot where she had just been. She swung the butt of her own lance toward the solider, causing him to rear back just enough for Sylvain to swoop in. He knocked the mounted soldier off his horse with the Lance of Ruin, the blade piercing through the cavalier as he fell. Sylvain's shoulders heaved up and down, with blood dripping down his armor, splattering the silver a dull red.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his breath coming out short and fast.

Ingrid gave a stiff nod, exhaling as she regained her position. "Thanks," she said breathily, shaking her head. She had to focus.

She knew it would be bad in Enbarr, especially breaking into the heart of it, but the amount of enemies spilling toward them seemed endless.

The Professor stood close by them, swinging her sword smoothly, as if it were an extension of her own arm. But despite her natural talent, Ingrid could spot beads of sweat rolling down her skin—a sight she had never witnessed before, not until now. The Imperial Army had begun slowly closing in on them, spilling from an entrance across the throne, advancing at a pace that was hard to keep up with.

"Everyone, stay close!" The Professor's strong voice cut clear through the cries and shouts of the battle. A surge of energy bloomed inside Ingrid—she would fight until the very end, alongside everyone.

"They keep coming from underground—someone needs to hold off the area or else well be pinned over here until they finally wipe us out," Dimitri grunted, sending another ten soldiers flying through the air with the might of his lance.

They needed to be quick, concise. Ingrid knew they wouldn't hold out for long, not like this.

"Watch my back!" Ingrid launched toward the opening on her wyvern without a moment's hesitation. It was a simple solution—she could get there quicker than the others, and could dodge the fastest among them.

"Ingrid!"

Before she could fly away though, a hand roughly grabbed her shoulder, whipping her back. The wyvern halted as Ingrid tightened her grip on the strap of the harness before she could fall off the sadle.

"You can't just charge in there!" Sylvain said, his voice hoarse and dry. "We stick together."

Ingrid tensed, guilt bloomed inside her like an ugly disease.

"There's too many in the path, you'll be—"

"If there's one thing I'm confident in, it's protecting you." Despite the blood running down his cheek, the fatigue that ran through his veins, he still offered her that familiar sweet, reassuring smile of his.

"Do not act rashly! Felix and I will take the rear—Dedue, lead the front. Sylvain and Ingrid, make sure you defend the blindsides!" the Professor shouted, slicing her way toward them. "The rest of you must try to take out the black mage to the right, and stay close to one another!"

The Blue Lions shouted in unison, a battle cry loud enough to shake the roots of Enbarr itself, as they spilled into position.

Ingrid had stopped keeping track of how many men and women had fallen from them—one thought surged her forward and kept the bloodlust boiling within her from running thin: to keep the ones dear to her safe. She would not let any one of their blood run dry, no matter what.

The one to break her from her fervent stupor were the cries from Edelgard—the closer they got to her, the more Ingrid could make out the anguished desperation of her large, mishappen figure. Pain tinged at her heart to see one of her former peers turn into something so grotesque.

Edelgard's black eyes pierced straight at them, cracking the courage that Ingrid had felt was indomitable mere seconds ago.

"Something is coming toward us!" Dedue bellowed, straining his shield up from the onslaught of enemies.

The Professor slew down the last enemy who had lingered behind them and flitted her head toward the direction Dedue was pointed at—her normally blank eyes steeled at the sight of Edelgard extending her elongated arm hurling forward.

Ingrid grit her teeth as she halted her wyvern—

Before any of them had time to register what Edelgard was doing, she had swung her dark arm forward—it sped toward them faster than they could blink.

Unable to track its path, Dedue braced himself, but it whizzed past the top of his head, in direct line of—

Ingrid's breath hitched in her throat as she leaned back instinctively, seeing the dark, condensed orb aimed directly at her.

The air around her sparked, as if electricity had filled the air, and the ends of her hair stood as a shout of despair bubbled from her throat. She lifted her hand to her face in a vain attempt to block it, biting down hard enough for her lips to bleed as her body tensed.

In a flash, the darkness was replaced by a fiery orange all too familiar, Sylvain—

The orb collided with him, flinging him off his horse. He barreled straight into Ingrid as she tumbled off her wyvern from the impact. She instinctively wrapped her arms around him, breaking his fall as they plummeted toward the ground.

Her breath knocked out of her as her back slammed against the marble floor, her mind swimming, unable to register what had just happened. Her blood rushed toward her ears—roaring, muting whatever the Professor was shouting about.

She gasped as she realized her arms were still tightly wrapped around Sylvain's' limp body, heavy against her own. She was half expecting him to suddenly sit up, to smile at her as he made some ludicrous joke about being on top of her, but he didn't.

Ingrid grunted as she rolled over, switching positions. Her hand was placed on either side of his face as she stared down at him, fear running through her veins as she helplessly watched the blood drip down his face.

Her mouth moved, but she couldn't hear her voice. Dark spots swam in her vision as she shook him again and again, screaming until her voice bled his name.

——————————————————————

Daffodils remind Ingrid of the sun—bright and hard to stare at for too long. It was perfect for Sylvain. She grabbed a handful that was scattered around the field, dutifully blowing away the dirt from the bright yellow petals.

"Need help?"

Ingrid turned around to see the Professor holding out her hand, staring at Ingrid with those bright green eyes. Ever since the Professor came back, she was different in various ways that Ingrid couldn't put into words, but her attentiveness to her student's well-being hadn't changed.

"Ah, Professor…" Ingrid shuffled nervously on her feet. "Um—" Before Ingrid could finish, she took the flowers out of her hand.

"You should be resting," she said, her voice almost chiding. She flicked away the specks of dirt with focused precision. "You're not fully healed yet either."

"This is nothing." Ingrid raised her cast up briefly, sighing as she glanced down at it. It was more bothersome than anything. A broken arm shouldn't be something she should take lightly, but... staying outside proved better for her mental state.

"Ingrid," the Professor said softly, catching her attention. Ingrid looked up at her, startled by how focused the Professor was on her. "You shouldn't hold it in."

"I'm not holding anything in," Ingrid said with a stiff smile, keeping her voice light. "I'm just… I think he'll like these flowers." Maybe it'll wake him up. He hates the color yellow, so he'll wake up and tell her how awful she was at choosing which flowers to give to him.

"Come on." The Professor handed the daffodils back to her. "He'll want to see you when he wakes up."

Ingrid cracked a smile.

As they trailed down the hill, she stared down at the face of the daffodils—they seemed to be smiling back at her, swaying softly in the light breeze. Ingrid lifted her gaze to the far-off castle. Even from the distance, it stood proud and tall. It was weird, setting foot in the same space where the four of them—Ingrid, Sylvain, Dimitri, Felix—once chased one another. She always wondered if those days would come back; carefree and content.

She tightened her grip on the stem of the daffodils, clutching on to it as if it were her own lifeline.

"Will you eat with us for dinner tonight?" the Professor asked hopefully as they neared the entrance to the castle.

Ingrid nodded, already heading for the direction to Sylvain's room. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" Ever since Sylvain had fallen into a coma, she spent most of her time next to him. "I'll come this time, after I give him the flowers." Ingrid cast one last smile over to her before she disappeared, taking long strides to the infirmary room.

She opened the door.

Dark and silent.

Quiet.

His soft breathing was almost inaudible, even when she stood still and tried to concentrate on it.

Before Ingrid sat on the chair next to his bed—which was practically her own bed at that point—she lit the candle on the table and grabbed the ribbon that she had left lying on the table next to her. She pursed her lips as she tried to wrap it around the stem of the daffodils—it wasn't the first time she'd done this, but for some reason, her fingers kept fumbling.

"Twist… one loop… flip…" Ingrid murmured to herself, recounting what Annette had told her. "Hm." She lifted the bundle of flowers up, frowning at how deformed the bow looked.

"It looks awful," a hoarse voice next to her whispered.

"As if you can do any better," Ingrid muttered back, glancing at the bed with a glare. She placed it back down on her lap and began undoing the ribbon.

"Give it to me." A hand weakly tapped on her arm, prompting her.

"I—" Ingrid paused, staring down at his hands.

She blinked once, twice, before locking eyes with him.

He looked terrible—as pale as snow, lips chapped, purple under his eyes—and his full concentration was trained on the daffodils in her hands.

"You're awake—" Ingrid swallowed, her voice shaking. "You're awake?" She stood up so fast the chair clattered to the ground, along with the daffodils.

"Hey—those are my favorite flowers!" He attempted to sit up, but groaned instead.

"Sylvain!" Ingrid scolded, helping him sit up. He smiled cheekily at her, and it was so full of fatigue that she almost burst into tears.

"I thought you hated yellow," Ingrid choked out, her hands trembling as she brushed his disheveled bangs from his eyes.

He hummed as he thought—he reached out to her, brushing the ends of her hair with the tip of his fingers. "No, it's been my favorite color for a while now."

[the-sanders-sides]

inidan american (desi) logan

a sequel to this post because people asked for more and i decided that they shall receive (and also i love writing these)

fair warning, logans a bitter kid, and this isnt as positive and happy as romans post. ive experienced two different ways of being desi, one where i lived in fully asian and indian community and didnt even think id ever feel alone, and another where i moved to a place where i havent met another desi in like 7 years of living here in a 3 hour driving radius. in romans post i played into my first experience and how at home i felt. in the second experience, the one im in right now, i am much more bitter about who i am and not really knowing anyone who gets it anymore. so i play into that A LOT in this. so keep that in mind. (and he will get happier in a future part. m planning on making this into a series)

ok so first off. his name is logan sanders. people (mostly other indians) dont believe him when he tells them. he tells them they dont know indian history. they say they do. he tells them that the british fucked around (quite literally) in india for four centuries so of course english names would stick with that precise wording

sometimes when he’s annoyed enough and doesnt want to explain this for the millionth he defends himself with this russel peters skit (watch it, it’s hilarious) because it describes his family. to a T. 

he grew up in a community with not very many asians, and knew no indians outside his family so he felt a sort of disconnect to his culture

while his grandparents and parents would teach him about indian culture, he felt so distant from it since he knew no one outside his family who was indian, and since he didnt have any siblings or any nearby cousins to hang around with

he had visited india once but he was too young to remember it properly or too remember his cousins

the closest mandir was an hour away so that also limited the amount of indian kids/people he knew

he barely knew hindi because everyone in his family spoke english, especially in public

he felt guilty over the disconnect he felt and would always try to bridge it but would never accomplish this because it he kept losing passion since he rarely saw other people like him in the real world and in the media and he didnt see the point of trying

this all changed in eight grade when he moved next door to the Kumar family in a north indian street of some south asian blocks in an asian community

when his family first moved, the Kumar family invited the Sanders over to welcome them

it turns out the Kumar’s had a son who was the same age as logan

“hi logan! im rohan kumar! but i like going by roman instead of rohan!” 

this introduction pissed logan off 

he was seething because why would this kid who got to have an indian first AND last name change his name to an english one! why didnt he see the value of his name!

he knew right away that such a difference meant they could never be friends 

“im logan sanders, but thats all youll get to know about me because i see no use associating myself with someone as... well, ignorant, as you”

roman decides to whip out one of the swears his cousins taught him and whisper shouts “who are you calling ignorant, bhenchod?” 

 it became clear to him that this was new turf, and people on this new turf must be speaking hindi. and that he was the ignorant one if he couldnt talk in hindi. he made a vow to learn it as fast as he could to make sure this roman kid wasnt better than him

but, logan grits his teeth and says “you, and i know it must be true because you were too dumb to understand me the first time”

this evidently struck a sore spot in roman because he didnt fight back but just stalked away. logan smiled slightly, happy to have won that argument

logan asks his grandpa to teach him hindi and his grandpa gets super excited

they start lessons immediately and despite barely hearing it growing up, it’s as if his brain was made for this because he picks the language up amazingly fast and in a months time, while not able to speak back yet, he can understand most casual conversation

his first diwali in basically little india is the most magical thing ever

diwali at his old home was very quiet because there wasnt anyone around to celebrate with

everyone is so happy in this new home however. everyone is dressed up and all the houses are lit up and there are diyas everywhere and he doesnt want to admit it but the kumar’s have the best rangoli on the street and it’s because of roman and he knows roman did it because sometimes he’d stare out of his bedroom window while doing homework and have a perfect view of roman delicately working on it for two weeks

(the kumar’s front porch had been covered with tarp waiting for diwali to make sure romans precious rangoli wasnt stepped on or ruined. when it’s finally let up, everywhere where there could be art, there is. it’s insane how good at colors roman is, logan thinks)

diwali morning: 

he fights his parents because he doesnt want to miss school for diwali because americans dont have a day off for it. his parents set the clocks in the house ahead to make him think he overslept so he would skip school. (logan didnt know that his parents had submitted an excused absence form for religious reasons and that the school was very understanding. he thought it would be like his old school where he wouldnteven bother trying since he wasnt christain and the school was lkinda discriminatory)

they spend the morning in mandir and it’s nice. for once he doesnt feel different from his peers because he goes to mandir and not church or synagogue. he feels at home.

diwali afternoon:

the afternoon is spent with frantic cleaning and cooking and digging around for the diya’s that were still in boxes, packed away from when they moved

logan offered to find them all to continue with a diya science experiment he started two years prior. his theory was that the diya’s were multiplying and there were more each year despite no one buying anymore

this held true, because even though he could only find half of their diya collection, it was somehow more than the entire diya collection of two years prior. 

diwali evening:

theres a big potluck and everyone in the neighborhood is out talking to each other, looking at the decorations at everyones houses, eating samosas, and playing with sparklers. 

logan feels content

he makes a new resolve to learn more about hinduism. if this is what ti was supposed to be, then he never wanted to be away from hinduism. 

he looked at the metaphors and symbolism in everything and finally understood what his dad meant he told logan that hinduism is just science written in poetry and that string theory is written in the ancient texts

middle school in this new town is so much better than middle school in his old home. why?

a. doesnt get bullied for being a nerd

b. doesnt get called gay slurs 

c. the classes are harder 

d. much less racism

e. all of the above

soon enough, logans asking his grandpa to teach him how to cook Indian food

Logan spends the day burning dosas and making lopsided rotis

(eventually he gets the hang of it, and a he'll be cooking food for an infuriating Indian boy ;) ;) psst it's roman)

Speaking of boys

Coming out isn't an option for logan

He knows that his parents arent really religious enough to really look into hinduism and see that no, gays are not bad

But they are traditional and conservative enough to be homophobic

not homophobic as in spewing hate with the westboro baptist church at a pride parade

But homophobic as in "the gays are fine as long as they don't do it in front of me" kinda thing

So Logan stays quiet

the closet kinda sucks but i mean what can he do

it’s safer inside, and he as illogical as wishing is, he wishes that people would use their brains and realize there’s nothing wrong with gay

anyway

in school logan makes his first desi friend, who was dubbed as anxiety years ago and cant seem to get rid of the nickname and now has a whole complex about his name so logan doesnt know his name

logan and anxiety meet in the school library: logan studying and anxiety hiding

people dont like anxiety

especially non-indian kids

surprise surprise it’s an old buddy called racism, but anxiety’s story is for another time

(but even though no one really likes anxiety, whenever racist shit goes down, it has to go through roman)

so logan and anxiety become fast friends

and they make fun of roman (a+ bonding)

logan claims that roman is a hypocrite for changing his name to an english one while being so immersed in indian culture

anxiety doesnt dispute this, but says he has a past with roman

a past that involved getting stuck with the name anxiety

again, another story for another time

one day, when logan and anxiety are eating lunch they see roman destroy some homophobes who throw around the word f*g and keep calling caitlyn jenner, bruce jenner

logans chest surges

he’s all like “what?? emotions?? pride at roman?? is he better than me for being so open and standing up for what he believes in??”

gay panic basically

but logan masked it well and pushed it away

the next day roman comes to school with a pride patch on his jean jacket

logan feels like he cant breathe

logan is supremely jealous of roman.

he can be gay in peace

he can pretend not to be indian in a way that benefits him

and he’s not affected by stereotypes in the same way?? like what does this kid not have

and by stereotypes i mean

roman is the complete opposite of all indian and desi stereotypes: loud, flamboyant, theatrical

logan’s personality is exactly how the stereotypes are. he’s nerdy and likes science and math and it seems like he cant escape the stereotypes. they follow him. and he feels guilty that he likes science and math and is nerdy. 

as illogical as it is, he wishes he was different from how he is

but logan later learns that there are more than just his perspective on being desi and that every desi kid growing up faces challenges about it that are different than his, causing them to experience being desi differently

and logan will accept that, in another story at another time

for now, he’s just bitter. and as illogical as it is, he wishes the world was better

and now, i shall tag some people who asked to be tagged and some other desi’s who loved this because i feel like you guys might appreciate this too. also i love u. desi famders squad up.

@sssixeyedrunt @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @caterpiller-tea @xxxbladeangelxxx @snufflesthegrim227 @cloudchaser7 @thelowlysatsuma 

[goldenkamuyhunting]

hey there! i wanted to say that i really love your manga analysis its so interesting and insightful! i had a question too if its okay! i am not really well versed in japanese history so im a bit confused when it comes to like Ogatas mother being a geisha and how characters talk about it “the child of a wildcat is a wildcat”. Arent geishas supposed to be like entertainers like dancers and music and not like anything sexual? or is it about him being born to a mistress?

Thank you so much!

Now... I’m no expert either so I hope I won’t make messes with ansering your ask but yes, geisha were supposed to entertain through performing the ancient traditions of art, dance and singing and weren’t required to sleep with customers... but actually it seems the thing is not so clear cut.

If we look at the history of geisha we learn that Japan embraced sexual delights and, for sexual enjoyment and romantic attachment, men did not go to their wives, but to courtesans which caused walled-in pleasure quarters known as yūkaku (遊廓、遊郭) to be built in the 16th century. Later, in 1617 the shogunate designated "pleasure quarters", outside of which prostitution would be illegal, and within which yūjo ("play women") would be classified and licensed.

These pleasure quarters quickly became glamorous entertainment centers, offering more than sex.

The first woman known to have called herself geisha was a Fukagawa prostitute, in about 1750. She was a skilled singer and shamisen player named Kikuya who was an immediate success, making female geisha extremely popular in 1750s Fukagawa. As they became more widespread throughout the 1760s and 1770s, many of them began working only as entertainers (rather than prostitutes).

The geisha, who still worked within the pleasure quarters, were essentially imprisoned and strictly forbidden to sell sex. While licensed courtesans existed to meet men's sexual needs, geisha carved out a separate niche as artists and erudite female companions.

However, with time, there ended up to be many different classifications and ranks of geisha. Some women would have sex with their male customers, whereas others would entertain strictly with their art forms.

So, although technically sleeping with customers isn’t part of a geisha’s job and she shouldn’t do it, there were geisha who did it.

It seems the name Yamaneko comes from geisha working in the area of Shimogawara in Kyoto (where Kyoto mountainside temples were), which was where the Hanamachi pleasure district was built and that, only much later, became a derogatory slang to point at whose geisha who would easily sleep with their customers.

While for simplicity sake we take the word Yamaneko to imply those women were whore, from the way Koito put it, it seems to imply they were deceiving their customers, possibly giving them the illusion they were geisha when they actually were whores disguised as geisha.

Since Ogata’s mother was a geisha who, very obviously, slept with Hanazawa, her customer, in order to give birth to Ogata, the 7th is basically accusing her of having done it not because she loved the man (although we know she loved him so much she grew insane when he abandoned her) but because she was a whore.

In short she scammed him by pretending to be a geisha when she actually was not. That’s why they force the nick on Ogata as well.

They aren’t accusing him to be a whore, it’s more as if they’re saying “the son of a scammer is a scammer (the son of a Yamaneko is a Yamaneko), you can’t trust him, he’ll deceive and trick you”.

Since Ogata has betrayed the 7th and has killed Wilk and attempted to murder Sugimoto (which is viewed as him betraying the group he was in again), that’s why Koito can say Ogata lived up to it.

Personally I believe Ogata’s mom wasn’t a geisha who slept around, just one who was unlucky enough to fall in love for the wrong man and slept with him. I might be wrong, of course, but I think the costant taunting and lack of faith is what pushed Ogata to disconnect from people.

If they would baselessly accuse him of being a scammer even when he had done nothing wrong, he felt he could as well be one. He didn’t own them his loyalty as they wouldn’t trust him anyway so he could backstab them without a problem.

Of course this is just my interpretation. I’m not that well knowledgeable of Japanese history and how this slang came to be so I might be wrong.

Still I hope it helped! Thank you for your ask and for enjoying my manga analysis!

[shakingsphere]

um i need a distraction so heres a question thing that yall are supposed to send to me but i just answered all of them if ur interested

Alisons: Sexuality?

straight i think

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

she/her cis

Amaryllis: Birthday?

january 30th!

Anemone: Favorite flower?

idk what they’re called but these vine type flowers on the side of my porch!

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

atla

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

depends on the context, definitely nothing where they could take advantage of me

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

i hate quotes i can never remember any lmao

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

.... diet coke

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

no

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

maybe? he didnt love me back

Baneberries: Favorite song?

vienna by billy joel

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

my parents are nice and supportive but overbearing and judgmental. my dad has a tendency to talk when its not his place and my mom is very jewish. my sister doesnt like me very much and is kind of rude. one of my brothers is really nice and the other is awful

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

I dont

Begonia: Favorite color?

green

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

red panda

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

a cat

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

an animator 

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

i love kids theyre so cute

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

heights bc theyre scary, and unachieving because i dont want to waste my life

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

i used to play with ants a lot

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

like if i was conscious it was my last day? i dont even know

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

single :/

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

central asia and iran

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when im with my friends and we’re just hanging out

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

no ma’am i am a child of god

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

my ear lobes and i want to get my doubles done

California Poppy: Height?  

5′3. it be like that

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes!!!!!!!!!!!! omg

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

a college sweatshirt and pj pants with penguins on them

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

when i was little....

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

my friend hannah

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

i haven’t...

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

um lobster?

Columbine: Are you tired?

yeah lol

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

college and moving out of state!!

Coneflower: Dream job?

something where i can use my degree lmao

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

i think im an introvert but i also might just have anxiety

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

maybe?

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

i would take a bullet for most of my loved ones

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

yes. a tie-dyed teddy bear named tie-dye. he is my husband.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

aquarius

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

nothing that people who arent me should remember, but i think our experiences shape us so

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

im not dead idk

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

um id probably be upset i care about my parents approval way to much

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

my friend hannah again lol

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

public speaking!!

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

math

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

um i met my future roommate, i lost a bit of weight, and i got some cute shorts

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

stressful! 

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

no

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

join my college’s honors program and study in russia

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

im not doing this one too tired

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed? 

xanax 

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

i try to tell ppl they are important to me

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

im funny i think

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

i wake up at 9:30 its 70 degrees Fahrenheit and i get lunch with some friends and then we hang out for the day

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

im so bad about this all i do is watch youtube and study, but i love to draw and im going to start reading more

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

pretty sure its french for clear or bright (depending on the context). my mom just liked it

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

im from a suburb of kck. its a nice and safe place to grow up but i wouldnt choose to live here

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

nice, but its in the basement so the view is really bad i hate that

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

no nope no

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

she is very smart and hardworking but very judgmental and a bit inconsiderate. she loves me very much tho

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

he is short and angry. he tends to interrupt me a lot. he is supportive of everything i do. he is stingy about money tho

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

my mother’s mom died before i was born, and my i was never close with her father. he died when i was 8. my other grandma has bad dementia and isn’t sure who i am anymore. shes presbyterian but she would send my sister and i dreidels and such for hanukkah. im told i look a lot like her. my grandfather has been very grumpy for as long as ive known him.   

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

my 13th. i had an anxiety attack and had to go home early.

Peony: What was your first job?

i was a hostess at a seafood restaurant.

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

i give myself time to process it and then just move forward i guess

Pink: Where is home?

where your sense of belonging is ig idk

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

i would have made better grades and quit band in middle school haha 

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

i want to be happy with 2 kids and a husband and live below my means but still be comfortable 

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

nihil was a philosopher. 

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

fuck idk my dog

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

background noise when your sitting outside

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

for everything to work out!!!  

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

very very hard

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

the internet

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hours but i overslept

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

i have to

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

i dont have a job rn and thats bad

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

my jeans from uo

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

cool librarian or 90s mom

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

160,000 dollars :)

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

the cost of college!!!!

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

oof like 2. i read Dune, and Slaughterhouse Five

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

college! finishing up my first semester

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

yeah :( 

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

ive been late to ap french almost every day this semester #c’estlavie

[saintbalor-blog]

“ BYE-BYE BOWERS, HELLO HOCKSTETTER ! “

REQUEST: stalker!patrick. so maybe he’s obsessed with the new girl in derry, creeps her out heaps, he notices she’s becoming close/flirty with a boy (maybe henry lol but thats up to you) and hes PISSED, because she is HIS property, so one day she’s walking home and he follows her, the parents arent home, NSFW content begins to boil~~ i will give you my entire life if its a super long story, this massive patrick fanfic shortage is destroying me, i love u btw, thanks for blessing us w/ ur writing.

A/N: pls don’t slut shame y/n for wanting a lil’ makeout here and there, girls are allowed to want those things too without being called sluts !!!! let your little hearts enjoy making out as much as the next boy does !!!!

The infamous Patrick Hockstetter wasn’t sure if it was the way Y/F/N oh so confidently carried herself through the crowded school halls on her first day, despite the ‘NEW KID’ label pasted all over her, oozing a level of confidence that he desperately desired to rip away from her. He wasn’t sure if it was the way each male gaze shamelessly lingered over her body a little too long when she wore that floral dress, evident that they were all harboring their own sinful thoughts based around the girl just like he was and making her an even better challenge; he’d have the girl every guy wanted in his hands including the girl Henry Bowers was currently infatuated with.

Patrick’s sick little game of making her his was no secret to Y/N, noticing the way he went out of his way to throw vile passes at her whenever his friends weren’t around and how his gaze hungrily took her in whenever she passed by him — mimicking the look a lion shot it’s future meal. It was a look that made her wish the hallway’s tiled floor would suck her in and take her far away from him, wishing she’d never have to be in the same vicinity as him ever again but that was near impossible.

Henry setting his sights on her not only made it harder to avoid Patrick but it made it far more difficult to remain under the radar since everyone knew Bowers had his eyes on her since the moment she stepped foot in the school; they just weren’t sure of the emotions behind his motives. To her, it was crystal clear what he wanted from her when he began cat calling her from his spot against his locker, his short-fuse always ticking when she would simply roll her eyes and continue walking away from him — unaware of the smile ghosting across the lips him and Patrick had dirty thoughts about when she was out of their sight.

As much as Henry Bowers wanted to ignore the way Patrick leered at the girl of his dreams like Y/N did, it was growing harder and harder when the thoughts that she might choose Patrick over him began crossing his mind. That petty insecure thought of having Hockstetter as competition fueled his frustration towards the girl ignoring him even more, causing him to have far more grumpy days than he’d like.

Though, those frustrating days were put to rest when he was rummaging through his mess of a locker for his knife, shutting the metal door once his search was done and revealing the face he’d think of whenever he got off at night waiting for him on the other side.

Pressing her mix textbooks and spiral journals closer to her chest in anticipation, Y/N flashed him a toothy smile and delivered a soft “Hi” in his direction. Henry froze in his shoes, not anticipating the girl’s sudden bravery and unsure of how to go about it; not one that’s particularly skilled in the female department, his friend’s not offering much help on their end as they were nowhere to be seen.

Unaware that one of his ‘friends’ actually was in the area, Henry went about the situation as best as he could manage, not noticing the daggers being shot at his back as Patrick watched the whole ordeal from the corner of the hall. Morbid thoughts of beating his friend to a pulp raced through his brain when he watched Y/N rip a sheet of lined paper from the glittery pink notebook and scrawl her number on it, handing it to Henry with a flirtatious bat of her eyelashes before turning on her heel.

Sucking in the inside of his cheek and biting it when Henry stuffed the note that belonged to him in his pocket, Patrick made it his goal of the day to bring it upon himself to remind Y/N who she actually belonged to. Once Henry was out of hall, probably heading off to the car since it dismissal, Patrick began following Y/N on her walk home with her friend; keeping a safe distance away from the gossiping pair.

“It’s good to have a little danger in your life every now and then.” Y/N laughed with her friend when she told her about who she gave her number to earlier, trying to convince her friend that it wasn’t as bad of an idea as she thought while they walked down the sidewalk together — unaware of the pair of dark eyes watching them from a few feet behind. “Plus a little makeout here and there isn’t so bad either.”

“It’s not only the fact that you went for Bowers of all people,” Lana, Y/N’s first friend at the school, scrunched her nose in disgust at Y/N’s taste in boys. “But you went for him when you know Patrick has a thing for you too, it’s like you’re asking for crazy psycho-boy drama in your life.” She exclaimed, using hand motions to further emphasize how reckless Y/N’s plan was; knowing that there would be no positive outcome with messing with that gang of boys.

Y/N shrugged, hooking her thumbs around the thick straps of her backpack and shooting her friend a knowing look. “We’ll hang out, we’ll makeout, and that’ll be it. Nothing more, nothing less.” Her words were spoken with such conviction that Lana almost believed her, almost, but she knew who Henry and Patrick were.

She knew Y/N was messing with deadly fire and was bound to get burned sooner or later, whether it be by Bower’s short temper or Hockstetter’s sickly ways.

“Alright but when it all blows up in your face, don’t you dare drag me into that crazy drama that’s gonna unfold.” Lana sighed in defeat and pointed an accusatory finger at her gal pal, knowing that Y/N’s freshness in the school didn’t allow her to fully realize who the Bowers’ gang was.

“That won’t be the only thing blowing up in my face.” Y/N shot her friend a suggestive smirk across her lip glossed lips once her brand new home came into view, raising her eyebrows before bursting out into laughter once she saw Lana’s disgusted expression painted across her pretty features.

“Gross.” Lana playfully pushed Y/N’s shoulder, not thankful for the visual image she got of her good friend and Henry Bowers together. “Be careful with him, with both of them.”

She sternly warned Y/N once more when they were a few steps away from her friend’s home, pulling her into a quick hug and feeling a cold front in her body when she thought she caught a glimpse of a familiar raven haired boy. Not being able to see it a second time, she shook her head at the stupid idea and smiled at her friend before parting ways.

“See ya!” Y/N called over her shoulder, fingers wrapping themselves around her black lanyard with her house keys and a hand waving goodbye to her friend. “Make sure to give me all the deets tomorrow!”

Upon entering her home, she was met with the familiar silence she always received after school, her parents always off at work. Kicking the door shut with her foot without locking the door, her first mistake of the night, she was eager to destress from school as she headed up to her room.

Lana’s words of caution rang in her head, ‘—with both of them’, the thought of double danger enticing her teenage hormones far more than it should. Tossing her backpack and lanyard to their designated corner of her room, Y/N headed over to her closet and began undressing from her school clothes in hopes of getting comfier but the figure looming at her doorway had other plans in mind.

Her jeans were barely pooling around her ankles when she felt a clammy hand fall over her mouth, the lipgloss providing a sticky barrier between her lips and the skin. Fingers played in between the strands of her hair as she felt the rough fabric of denim rubbing against the back of her exposed thighs, the cold touch of the metal from his belt buckle pressing against her lower back and his hot breath playing against the sensitive skin of her neck.

“It’s like you knew I was coming over, getting all ready for me to fuck you.” Patrick whispered in her ear, the sound of his voice causing her to squirm even more as his tongue began leaving a trail of saliva from her ear all the way down to her shoulder.

Y/N’s feelings grew conflicted as she tried to remind herself that this was not the boy she wanted, that she preferred having to take the direct route herself with Henry than having it taken on her like he was currently doing. Y/N’s body was betraying her, though, when she felt her back arch into his body as his hand moved from her hair to in between her thighs and his lips began leaving heavy kisses on her neck.

Shutting her eyes in a feeble attempt to shut out the pleasure he was giving her, she pushed her elbow back into his boner when his hand was inches away from her reaching the material of her underwear. Stumbling with an amused grin plastered on his face, the back of his hand wiped the saliva glazing his lips that were previously worshipping her skin as he looked down at the flustered half-dressed girl with intent to finish what he started — teaching her a lesson of who she belonged to.

“I swear to god if you don’t leave, I’ll call Henry right now and tell him that you’re here.” Y/N attempted her best to sound intimidating but it proved to be tough when you were standing in front of a boy who thrived on making your life hell. “He’ll kick your fucking ass.” She added once she noticed he wasn’t backing down, instead, his lanky figure was beginning to inch closer to her once again.

Y/N’s eyes glanced over at the pastel phone resting on the bedside table, remembering that Henry was due to call any moment and her situation wouldn’t sit well with him. The bedroom wall by her phone put an end to her small escape from Patrick, her body softly hitting the wall and forcing her to accept that her fate was in his hands now; despite this being her room and her home.

Eyes that could never match his amount of bad intentions met his oceanic ones that were deep in sin and misbehavior when he stood in front of her, his body towering over hers as his arm rested against the space above her and his hand aggressively cupped her face. His fingers pressed into her skin with a hostility that didn’t quite match the entertained smile on his lips as he forced her attention on him.

“I’ll tell Henry you begged me to fuck you, you little slut, and he won’t even think twice about putting you through some hell for ‘betraying him’.” Patrick threatened, enjoying the way her eyes widened at his words and her chest heaving up and down in anxiousness. “That kid is ruthless when it comes to things that he thinks belong to him. I think it has to do with his major daddy issues.”

“You wouldn’t.” Y/N breathed, not wanting to ruin her school life for herself so quickly; unaware that any sense of peace and fun at school was quickly stripped from her life when she decided to get involved with the boys, proving Lana’s words right. “You’re so fucking sick, Patrick.” She spat when he leered at her and innocently shrugged his shoulders at the idea of ruining her life, all because she gave Bowers her number.

Any statement lacking the sense of a threat escaping her lips was cut short when the shrill sound of her phone ringing filled the tense air, her gaze shifting over to Patrick as if asking for his permission to get the phone. Pushing her towards the phone with the hand placed on her chin, Patrick took a seat atop of the bedside table and next to the phone as she a hesitant hand on top of the phone, unsure if she should risk him saying anything into the phone to anger Henry.

“I’d suggest answering before it gets to a fourth ring, our little Henry isn’t the most patient guy in the world.” Patrick’s voice ripped her from the privacy of her thoughts, reminding her that the phone had already rung three times and she hadn’t picked it up yet.

“Hello?” Y/N nervously greeted the caller on the other end, keeping her watch on Patrick and twirling the cord of the phone with her index finger. “Henry, hey. Me? I’m not up to anything, what about you?”

Trying to sound calm and collected when danger was basically staring you right in the eye with a smile resembling the Cheshire Cat was proving to be far more difficult than she thought. Averting his gaze away from him, she hoped it would make the long awaited phone call go easier but it only made Patrick want to make it more difficult when she stripped him of her attention.

Patrick pushed himself off the wooden furniture and stepped back in front of her, aware that she couldn’t move away from him due to the phone cord being as little as his self-control. The way she spoke the other boy’s name with such glee in her tone infuriated him, his hands forcefully pushing her against the wall, the back of her head colliding with the bedroom wall with a hard thump and a pain-filled whine slipping out.

“Oh, I just tripped on a book, sorry. What were you saying about tonight?” Y/N saved her ass, quick to come up with an excuse for her the ‘ow’ the betrayed her and slipped out of her mouth.

Moving back to his previous position from a few minutes prior, Patrick laid his arm on the wall above her head, his free hand trailing up her inner thigh with a slowness that actually left her craving for him to speed up. Feeling his large hand curl around her upper thigh and squeeze, Y/N’s shaky breath hitched in the back of her throat.

“Y-Yeah, I’m totally up for it if you are, Henry.” Y/N’s sudden stuttering reminded Henry of the loser with the missing brother, any sign of the confident girl from the hallway gone and giving him the confidence boost he needed for himself as he gave her details for later.

Henry’s babbling about later was becoming irrelevant to her as Patrick pressed his slender fingers against her underwear, taking his time with each circular motion they made while his lips closed around the skin resting behind her ear lobe. Y/N’s grip around the curve of the plastic phone loosened when she felt him rob her off his heavenly touch, the hand between her thighs trailing around her lips as he slid two fingers in her mouth, coating them with her saliva before moving back between her legs.

“So, it’s a date?” Y/N interrupted Henry’s drawn out explanation on tonight’s events, the giddiness she felt earlier at the thought of hearing his voice on her phone diminishing each time Patrick’s nipped on the skin of her neck, the tip of his tongue trailing over the spot and towards the next with each nip.

“The guys will still be there so no but you can call it a date if you want.” Henry’s indifference towards a romantic date would’ve upset her earlier but now, with Patrick working on a hickey by her ear and his fingers sliding her underwear to the side, she didn’t seem to have a care in the world for Henry. “I know you’re not comfortable with Hockstetter so I could just not mention it to him, if you want.”

At the mention of his name, Patrick stopped working on the bruise he was giving her and waited for her to give what he deemed a correct response.

“Well…” Y/N teasingly trailed off, much to Patrick’s dismay but was quickly stumbling over a plea for Henry to reconsider when Patrick moved the free hand on the wall to her throat, his fingers quick to curl around her neck. “I actually don’t mind Patrick so it’s fine if he goes.”

“You sure?” Henry was confused by her sudden approval of the tall boy, vaguely remembering her mentioning how creepy she found him when they were talking in the hallway earlier.

Patrick’s fingers tightened around her throat when she took a second too long to reply to the boy on the other line, not wanting their facade to fall apart so easily. If anyone was going to be the bearer of news to Henry, it would be him and it would be face-to-face with a smug tone from him.

“Pa-“ What started off as a moan for the odd boy holding her down was cut off when she remembered she was on the phone, Patrick’s lips quirking up into a sick smirk at her almost slip up when he released her throat. “Patrick isn’t as bad as I thought, Henry, so it’s fine.” She weakly tried to explain, feeling his hand snake down to her side, gripping her hard enough to let her know he planned on leaving bruises on her body.

“What the hell is up with you, Y/L/N?” By now, Bowers was growing agitated by her strange behavior, a tiny part deep inside of him feeling as though it was his fault but the reality was much worse. “You’re acting weird as fuck right now.” His tone was terse and harsh, underlying times of insecurity there for anyone who cared to look.

“Sorry, Henry,” Y/N was quick to apologize, the feeling of Patrick’s fingers - coated in her spit - sliding in her with ease pushing her to end the conversation before she’d moan something she’d regret. “I’m just excited to see you is all, I mean it.” She was quick to choose something she knew would appeal to his bruised ego and she was right, his mood perked up immediately.

“Good, I’m picking you up in an hour.” The sound of Henry’s voice holding a grin in it made Patrick want to laugh, his demented brain already thinking of all the ways he’d rub it in his face that the girl wouldn’t even dream of being with him after he was done with her.

The click of the phone call ending was enough for Patrick to snatch the phone from her weak hold and slam it back into the receiver. His hand gripping onto her side quick to scoop her wrists in it and place them above her head, making her back arch as she craved for him to continue fingering her, his slender fingers going in nice and slow each time.

Moving from her neck to her soft lips, he pushed his lips against hers with an intensity that she could only label as animalistic, the insides of her lips pressing against her teeth. It wasn’t romantic or sweet by any means but it was good enough for the moment, her body more focused on the way he slid his fingers in an out of her than how romantic he was being with her.

“Patrick.” Y/N moaned his name between the fiery kisses, his lips parting from hers as he decided to take a look at his work, indulging in the sight of the girl’s shaking body beneath him; relishing in the fact at how fast he brought her down to him.

“That’s right. Say my name, not Bowers’. You’re mine, Y/N, all mine.” Patrick pulled the collar of her shirt down, attaching himself to the skin barely exposed by the wear of a shirt and beginning to leave his second hickey of the night, planning on it to be bigger than the last.

“Stop, he’s gonna see-“ Y/N protested but the idea of Henry seeing her that intimately just made him work faster on it, eager to crush the idea of those two ever being together. She quickly left the idea of stopping him when she felt that familiar sensation course through her body. “Shit.” She cursed under her breath when Patrick slid his fingers out of her, the material of her underwear sliding back into place and damp from how wet he left her.

Unwrapping himself from the shaking and bruised girl, he departed from him with eager thoughts of her breaking Henry’s heart later. “I’ll see you in an hour.” Patrick excused himself, shooting her only last satisfied glance before exiting her room.

[lovingminter-blog]

london bound//lewis redman

request:  Can you make a Lewis imagine where you’ve been given the opportunity to study overseas in London, and one day you’re out having dinner with your mates and you and Lewis meet and you instantly hit it off

i thought i only changed this request a little bit but ive just realised i changed it a lot, so sorry but i hope you still like it! i’m on a roll with this posting thing arent i omg

requests are open!

love you all xo

Moving away from your family was never something you planned on doing, however, when you were offered a place at a university in London, you just couldn’t pass the opportunity. You almost backed out twice on the train there, nervous for a new beginning in a city after living in the countryside for your whole life. You knew it would be different and you were never a big fan on change.

The panic almost made you leave again when you got to your new flat with your boxes completely covering it and you realised that you had no friends here who could help you move in. You didn’t know anybody here at all.

You were just about to call your mother and tell her that she was right when a text came through from an unknown number.

Hey, (Y/N)! It’s Lewis Redman, not so sure if you remember me but my mum told me that you’d moved down to London and didn’t really know anybody. My friends and I are having a little get together tonight at around 7, you should come!

A smile lit up your face as you read the text from one of your childhood friends (and the first boy you ever had a crush on), a feeling of nostalgia filled you as you immediately texted him back.

Hi, Lewis, how could I forget about you? Friday sounds great, just text me the address and I’ll be there!

Lewis replied with the address along with a ’hope you will be’ that caused you to blush as you read the address, only to discover that the ‘get together’ was a few floors above you. How strange is that?

As it got closer to 7, you began to feel more and more nervous to see Lewis again. You and him used to be good friends when you were younger due to your mother’s being best friends all their lives, however as you grew older, you grew apart. The two of you hadn’t spoke in years and you were almost positive that it was going to be the most awkward night of your entire life.

You decided to leave your flat at half 7, just so you didn’t seem too eager, and before you knew it you where standing outside of the door of a complete strangers flat. You could hear music coming from the inside and you were just about to knock when you heard a voice coming from behind you.

“(Y/N)?” You turn around in a flash only to be greeted by your childhood friend with the same grin plastered on his face that always used to have. “You came! It’s so good to see you.”

Lewis quickly pulled you in for a hug and you instantly could smell his aftershave that almost made you weak at knees. He smelled good and he certainly looked good, his cute, boyish face had turned structured and sharp. You were sure you almost cut your cheek on his jaw as he hugged you.

“It’s good to see you too, Lewis!” You smiled as you pulled way, “it would’ve been hard to avoid coming as I only live three floors below here.”

His eyebrows flew up in surprise, “how strange is that? Wait until I tell the lads, but I must warn you, you may not be left alone after I do.” You laughed at his comment as he opened the door and just walked right in, the music instantly becoming louder.

If that was a little get together; you were interested to see what their parties looked like. The flat was flooded with people and they all seemed to be a fair bit drunk, considering the party had started not even an hour before.

Lewis grabbed your hand as he led you through the crowds towards a small circle of people who were laughing and joking together. Once you joined them, Lewis wrapped his arm around your shoulders and gestured towards you. “Guys, this is (Y/N), the friend I was telling you about.”

They all nodded, each of them giving a wave or saying a little, ‘hey, (Y/N).’

Lewis went around the whole circle and told you everyone’s name, stopping at Josh and Tobi, who you vaguely recognised from old pictures with Lewis. “This is Tobi’s flat,” he explained.

“Well, it’s very nice.” You said honestly, it was extremely well decorated considering a young man lived here. You certainly couldn’t decorate your flat this nice.

“Thanks, (Y/N), I appreciate that,” Tobi nodded towards you. “Where about have you moved to?”

“Well, I actually live in this building.” You announced causing the circle of friends to grin and cheer your way. One of the guys who Lewis introduced him as ‘Freezy’, raised his cup in your direction.

“Welcome to the building, (Y/N),” he winked. “I’m sure you’re going to regret telling us all that, though, none of us really know the meaning of boundaries.”

You and Lewis gave each other a look which caused you both to burst out laughing at the fact Lewis told you the same thing not to long ago.

“Yeah, I’d keep your door locked if I were you or you’ll never get them to leave,” Josh joked and you all chuckled.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

As the hours passed, all of you got progressively more drunk and you completely forgot about the fact that you were up early in the morning to unpack, however your job had been made a little bit easier as all of the guys offered to help you move in. You weren’t so sure they’d remember in the morning though.

You found yourself on the balcony overlooking London with Lewis beside you, not caring about unpacking tomorrow, only thinking about how close the two of you seemed to be standing next to each other.

“Feel better yet about moving down here now you know some more people?” Lewis spoke up after minutes of silently staring at the view.

“A little bit,” you replied. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“Anytime,” he shrugged. “It was really good to see you after so long, you’ve changed a lot.”

“In a good way or a bad way?”

“Oh definitely in a bad way,” Lewis laughed when you nudged him in the arm after he spoke. “I’m kidding, you look good. Really good.”

You kept your eyes trained on the city below, hoping that the dark of night was covering up the blush that had flooded your cheeks. “Well, you don’t look too bad yourself.”  

The boy next to you chuckled quietly and you felt him move closer to you ever so slightly. “You know, when were kids, I had this huge crush on you. It was so obvious that both of our mum’s knew, I think the only person that didn’t know, was you.”

Your eyes almost fell right out of your head at Lewis’ confession; you had know idea he ever liked you as more than a friend. “I had a huge crush on you, too. You were also probably the only person that didn’t know, I mean, even my nosey neighbour Mrs Heckles knew!”

The two of you burst out laughing, at the memories of your old neighbour and at the fact that you both liked each other but were oblivious to the fact the other felt the same way.

After a few seconds, the laughter died down and you were both left staring at each other with ridiculous grins on your faces. Lewis cleared his throat and looked down at his feet before glancing up to you, “after your settled in, do you fancy going out for dinner sometime?”

“Like a date?” You raised your eyebrows at him, the butterflies in your stomach were flying around wildly as stumbled over his words.

“I-if you don’t want it to be a d-date, it doesn’t have to be,” he stuttered. “It can just be two friends having dinner.”

“No, I’d like it to be a date,” you practically whispered, suddenly feeling nervous after the short surge of confidence you had gained from the drinks.

Lewis gave you a small smile and you could feel your heart beating in your ears as you watched his face hesitantly moving closer towards yours. You were the first to close the distance between the two of you, reaching up and pressing your lips against his.

The kiss was everything you ever imagined it would be, however it came to an end far too quickly due to Josh bursting onto the balcony.

“Lewis, have you seen- oh shit, never mind.” He gave you both a cheeky grin before going back inside, and the two of you heard him shout, “Simon! You owe me a tenner!”

“They betted on us?” You laughed, and Lewis simply rolled his eyes at his friend’s behaviour.

“It doesn’t even surprise me.”

“You know what I bet? I bet that none of us will even be awake tomorrow to unpack any of my boxes, not without going through a few boxes of paracetamol first.”

“Oh no, the sooner you move in, the sooner we go on our date,” Lewis said with determination laced in his voice. “Trust me, we’ll all be knocking on your door bright and early tomorrow.”

Lewis stuck to his word. The next morning, you were awoken to the sound of loud knocking on your door. You practically dragged yourself to the front door, wondering who on earth was knocking at 9 o'clock.

You opened it to reveal a group of hungover guys and girls, all looking half asleep and ready to jump into the next bed they saw. At the front of the group was Lewis Redman with the biggest grin on his face and looking eager.

“Told you we’d be here,” were the first words he spoke. “Now, let’s get started.”