#when all i wanna do is enjoy art of these two with pet tortoises

[aoiazamis]

im sick and tired of having to see discourse abt kaeluc luckae whatever the hell you want to call it bc as someone who likes both kaeya and diluc and is chinese and adopted i have to see so much of it so here are my two cents on it.

(very long bc its all the thoughts that have been stewing in my brain since i found out there was disk horse)

for context before we begin: i am chinese adopted by a chinese family living outside of china (my grandparents grew up in china). i have combed through diluc and kaeya’s dialogue, voice-over lines, and character stories multiple times and in multiple different languages, independently of the disk horse simply bc they’re both on my team and i like them a lot as a result. ive spent tons of effort trying to make sense of both character’s personalities, their conflicts, and what their motivations are.

ok lets start here. how do i view kaeya and diluc? as adopted siblings. why? less serious answer: because im adopted and there are already at least two adopted characters in the game so why not bring it to three. more serious/genuine answer: i personally think kaeya being adopted is very essential to understanding his character and how he views his relationship with mondstadt. i know everyone gets up in arms over the two-character chinese word “sworn brothers/adopted brothers” but even if they were to omit that line entirely, kaeya’s story is very reliant on him seeing the ragnvindrs as his family and a direct contrast to his birth father. here’s how i see it: kaeya was taken in and raised by crepus after appearing at dawn winery. it’s perfectly reasonable for kaeya to see crepus as his father and diluc as his brother. if i were in kaeya’s position, dropped in a whole new country with nothing but the clothes on my back and i was taken in my a dude and his son, that would surely be like my birth family to me.

now, i have read the chinese version, and from what i can see all the words they use to describe crepus and diluc in relation to kaeya are pretty vague (as far as i can tell). the phrase “sworn brothers,” while it refers to a popular bl trope, does also have the meaning of a literal adopted brother. the word used to refer to crepus could mean “adopted father” or “father in law.” (in japanese and korean, they use the exact same words in both instances, no real change.) if im gonna be honest? i think that’s intentional. the devs/writers specifically leave their relationship vague so it can be interpreted by fans however they like; because after all genshin is a gatcha games and partially relies on fan attachment to characters in order to profit. by inviting fans to choose their kind of relationship -> fans dont feel alienated or “wrong” -> more fans who are willing to whale for them or create fan content that will promote their game. im no marketing major so take this with a grain of salt but ive always felt that this was a plausible explanation for why there’s no definite answer and it all seems so vague.

so, do i give a fuck if a random given person on the internet ships them romantically? no. im not paid enough to. do i give a fuck if someone who ships them romantically follows me? no, as long as they dont come onto my kaeya and diluc content deliberately talking abt them in a romantic sense as i make it clear i dont like it. (essentially, “you’re welcome to stay here but idk how much of my content you’re gonna care for.”) “but tumblr user nowwhywouldyoudothat!” you say, “you just reblogged gen art from an artist who ships kaeluc!” i am also not paid enough to do a background check and every simple lovely general art i see of these two. i wont ever reblog anything thats inherently romantic for the two since i dont like it, and why would i reblog things i dont like? i will simply ignore that artist’s ship art and just enjoy the single gen art that i just reblogged. its simple.

this is already crazy long and i might have haphazardly explained things and ill clarify them if anyone even reads this lol. but basically, my bottom line is i dislike kaeluc as a romantic ship and think its strange and weird and i dont get it. when i create something about the two, i make sure to note that it is not intended to be romantic. i dont care if someone who does ship them interacts with it, so long as they arent going “KYAA I SHIP THEM SO MUCH” in the comments of my fic that examines their relationship as brothers. at the end of the day, its pixels on a screen, its not that deep. i am begging genshin fans to stop telling ppl to kill themselves or send death threats or doxx ppl over ships. you’re allowed to disagree with/dislike ships, problematic or not, but please at least act like normal human beings when doing so.

so yeah. thats it. a whole ass essay abt discourse. ive always wanted to say it but i never had enough word count lol or organization.

[twistednuns]

June 2018

Travelling makes me happy. Makes me feel like a more interesting person, makes my life feel much richer. I'm thankful for every opportunity I get to see the world. My time in Bali was fantastic. I carried around four books all the time and yet I only managed to read about 100 pages. There was just so much to do and see.

The word Geräuschkulisse

Roasting peaches on top of halloumi slices with a dash of honey and apple cider vinegar. Mmmh.

"Whether it’s meditation, reading, or trekking through Timbuktu, you must find something that gives you a happiness that is not contingent on others." One or two people about the importance of being alone.

Shopping at the market early on Saturday morning. The charming dude who sold me strawberries, mangoes and an avocado. Empty aisles at the drugstore. Carrying everything home in my huge trekking backpack, almost losing balance on the bike.

The rust-coloured &otherstories dress with tortoise shell buttons. Such a dream, alas, too small. Had to send it back. Sigh.

Going to Im Grünen Festival near the Austrian border with Markus. Stopping at Chiemsee for a swim. The band Leoniden covering the old Sugababes song Overload (got stuck in my head immediately). Realising that it keeps getting harder for me to be in bad company. The more I like myself the less I like others.

Veganz Choc Bar Coconut. Even more addictive than the dm bio coconut bars and the Rapunzel ones. Delicious.

Spending an evening with Franzi at the new rooftop beergarden. It's on top of a parking garage near Stachus!

Alessandro's HAND!SPA hand cream which comes in a little yellow macaron box and smells like lemon buttermilk.

I finally caved in and bought a SodaStream Crystal. Bye bye, bottled water and plastic waste! EDIT: I also got a high speed blender. Hello, nicecream!

Getting to know my new neighbour Silvie.

Making pink and yellow slime with the sixth-graders.

Learning about how brazil nuts grow. They're huddled against each other in a big shell! Weird. I never knew.

Reading Linnéas Jahrbuch, an old Swedish children's book favourite of mine. I love Lena Anderson's illustrations.

Thoughts about the monstera hype.

A small girl said goodbye to her friend one morning on the subway: "Dann noch ein schönes Leben!"

Such a busy Saturday. Getting all my affairs in order in the morning, writing long to-do-lists. Going grocery shopping, buying plants at Ries. Visiting Sabine, working on our song for the choir. Getting a message from Manu: his parents have a sales booth at the Africa festival in Munich and he doesn't wanna go alone. Going home, baking a cake, hurrying to the subway, meeting up with him and his mum. She got us in for free and I had such a nice evening there. Eating, drinking, walking around, talking to the parents, some friends, buying a ring, chili oil and lemon/orange pepper. Discussing art with his dad. Joking around with his mum. I felt very comfortable in that warm and familial atmosphere. Also, everyone kept thinking we were a couple. Mh.

Hanging out at Maria Einsiedel on a Sunday afternoon. Reading. Only jumping into the Eiskanal once. Very refreshing. I like that feeling as if thounsands of tiny needles were pricking your skin, just a little bit.

Climbing. Up the monkey bars, the wall in the boulder room, over the fence. It's nice to feel strong and capable, earn that sense of accomplishment, to feel your muscles working.

Solving two anagrams after staring at those words for almost two hours.

Feeling like wonderwoman. I don't know what happened but since the beginning of 2018 I've been feeling like a completely different person. I'm much happier, I have more energy. I enjoy getting things done and going the extra mile - often quite literally when I simply walk to the next bus stop instead of waiting, or when I start cleaning or doing things that are not absolutely necessary. I'm starting to feel like myself. To come closer to my true sense of being. It took me ten years longer than I thought it would but I guess I needed to take the long route.

I made sweet potato toast for the first time. A great savoury breakfast option!

Murakami's Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. The book is almost 800 pages long and I'm not quite finished but I have to say that so far I like it even more than Kafka on the Shore. All those visionary women, the shadow world - and the stories about the Soviet–Japanese border conflicts during the Second World War (submarines, sitting in wells, shooting zoo animals, being skinned alive) creep the shit out of me. I also love the focus on neat clothing in that book.

Safiya Nygaard is a good/weird person. Seriously. All those pop-culture references. Thank you, sister.

Playing around with the Bitmoji app (and the fact that mine looks a bit like Rachel Weisz).

Terrazzo tiles.

Booking my flights to Australia and Indonesia! I'm so excited. I've never travelled alone for more than a few days and now I'm going to be away for almost a month. I'm gonna spend almost 27 hours on planes on my way to Brisbane. What an adventure.

Ulli Lust's graphic novels.

My new yoga class. I'm going to be there every Wednesday, cursing myself and my decision to commit to this. It's exhausting and weird but so good for me. But I've already found out that I'm able to put my feet behind my head in a backwards bend. Way to go.

Learning how to use a potter's wheel. I didn't do too well because you need to stick to rules (something I'm bad at - at least when it comes to art) but turning and shaping the semi-hard pots afterwards is so much fun; exactly my thing. I need to practise, it's awesome to see a vase growing between your hands.

Miranda July's The First Bad Man at Kammerspiele Munich. This is the most hilarious and entertaining production I've ever seen in a theatre, I suppose. Anna Drexler reminds me of Birgit Minichmayr and has a lot of comedic talent. And Brandy Butler, geez, that voice. You could see quite clearly that someone had a lot of fun putting this play together.

Love in Translation

"If I'm not the love of your life I'll be the greatest loss instead." - Rupi Kaur (and the first part of her poetry collection The Sun and Her Flowers - I thought her poems about losing love were very relatable)

Meeting the bees! I designed honey jar labels last year and now I got to know the industrious little workers behind our product. We harvested and pressed the honey - I even petted the bees, they are so soft. I had a pretty nice day. And I love crushing honeycombs with my bare hands. Good texture and a very satisfying feeling.

Going dancing for the first time in... a very long time. I met up with Frank and Claudia at Import Export, took a picture of the fake Pommesbude and had actually quite a lot of fun doing silly moves, talking to Frank. It was weird because we kept saying the same thing at pretty much the same time. So that means we're still the same kind of lame/awesome?