#to balance out my earlier post
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For the drabble thing - ”I’m trying really hard not to say I told you so.”
from this prompt game.
”I’m trying really hard not to say I told you so.”
“Doesn’t sound like you’re trying that hard, mate,” Jamie scoffed, temporarily removing the ice pack from his already swelling eye. “You just said it.”
Roy rolled his eyes. “You have to keep your hands up if you’re playing goalie.”
“I’m really sorry, Jamie,” Phoebe’s concerned face swam in front of Jamie’s good eye. “Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine, Phoebs,” Jamie said, pulling her into a tight hug with his unoccupied hand.
“Uncle Roy always takes me for hot chocolate when I feel sad. Uncle Roy, should we take Jamie?”
“Fine, but you’re paying.”
“That’s fair,” Phoebe nodded and took Jamie’s hand.
Hot chocolate helped with everything.
#jamie tartt#roy kent#phoebe o'sullivan#lighthearted whump#to balance out my earlier post#thank you thank you my wonderful friend :)#whump prompt game#whump prompt#ask box is always open#drabbles
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i heard it was march
#posted a sollux drawing earlier so here’s an eridan to balance it out#homestuck#eridan ampora#march eridan#my art
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POV; a big beautiful purple bird angel stretches their neck out real long and stares at u (it's just saying hello)
#yin art#above#eyes cw#just a doodle i did earlier and forgot to post#the scoundrel may be occupying my brain atm but rest assured i still love all of my other horrible children#such as this freak (affectionate)#whatever mental illness that bat has is nothing compared to the 2 million things infinitely wrong with reggie#but also they're cute and fluffy and covered in freckles so yknow it balances out actually#eye contact
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me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time
#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start#I wanna get in his head more ok sue me#Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits#Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts#Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too “ówò sad poor smol bean” or whatever#That’s it tho chapter 4 I didn’t change bc it’s peak#Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesn’t realize it#Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom#I think that’s all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 👍#Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue#Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house#Grace post#this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things#Bc I think I did that recently but I don’t remember it much tho#Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain#Also I’d wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diary’s to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark#Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries#This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts#In other news I made shapes redesigns but I’m on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh#Nowadays I’m more chill w spoiling things than I used to be#But there are a handful of things I’ve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc)#So I’m not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now#Shrugs#maybe I’ll do a poll later I dunno#Ok yapping over byeeeeee
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hate this fucking post so much fucking get drinked. there isn't a lack of hot guy npcs or whatever the fuck, those were literally polls. (not to mention the stupidness of basing this off a "fuckability tourney".) the top characters happened to have more women not because there weren't enough men, it's because THE FANS LIKED THE WOMEN. people really don't know how to act once male characters are less centered within fandom discussions. you know you can just say you hate women and go right
#already ranted to people on discord when i saw it in the tag earlier but just saw it on my DASH and it got me riled up again#im aware im not the target audience when it comes to hot guys but you can literally appreciate hot men without punching down the women.#for ABSOLUTELY no reason. like i was talking to a friend on discord and they rightfully pointed out that since fandom spaces tend to favour#male characters over female characters the fact that more fans gravitate towards women is literally so great to see#like personally i find the gender representation in d20 *generally* quite balanced and i like that actually#not maintagging this bc duh but just in case this post falls into the wrong eyes and someone thinks i literally think they hate women:#think. with your brain. for just one second.#this has been a night of getting angry about how people treat female characters! again!
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eugh
#🍄.txt#having a mental illness moment#fell into an almond mom tiktok rabbit hole like ahaha … but it’s not funny is it 😁#trying to balance wanting my mom to recover vs resenting her forever for making me grow up like this etc etc etc#the post i rbed earlier about how they should invent a way to save your mom lol#but even finally giving up and telling her exactly how what she does has affected me negatively since i was little: one ear out the other#watching some of these videos crying a little like huh. that mom is so far down the eating disorder rabbit hole and seeing the similarities#like it hurts to see genuinely#but then seeing videos from other ppl who grew with the same kind of mom and similar experiences that i did. eugh#ESPECIALLY if they’re also fat or grew up fat#i cannot escape i cannot get out !!#eating disorder mention#ed mention
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May I share a small idea?
You could use the poll as some sort of list for some future WIP Wednesdays. The most popular choice is first and then the next in line comes on the next Wednesday when you got the time and so on.
It could save you plenty of time to prepare something and may lessen the pressure a little!
Obviously it’s up to you but I’m leaving the suggestion here for you to think about.
Hope you’re having a good time and remember to stay hydrated and take care of yourself~!
Oh this is a fantastic idea!! I think I will do this!! (Though I am hoping at least three of the options on there will be going up within the next several weeks, all of them are so so close to completion!!)
I will do this though!! Thank you very much for the suggestion friend, it’s a great idea!!
#i think I realize now why it’s taking so long to get all my fics out and why WIPs keep getting backed up#I have been going back and rewriting the initial chapters of HFBE#my earlier work is not my current writing style#and I know that is obvious#but I will flat out say it’s different because my earlier work was lazier#I remember telling myself all the time not to stress about my writing so much because with Uni I did not have the time to do that#so I’d post work even if I wasn’t happy with how it was#otherwise I’d never get any work out#but now I look at my current writing#and I feel like at least it’s more coherent#and more thought and work is put into it#and I am more proud of my current writing than my earlier writing by a longshot#but that’s coming at the price of almost paralyzing scrutiny#as it’s holding me up from posting#I’ve leaned a little too far into it#and I’ve begun to find a balance where I can move on while still criticizing my own writing and adjusting it a little better#work has been moving more consistently again on them#so I’m expecting that when I do finish my WIPs for posting#it’s going to be a lot at once#(does not help that so many of these fics are all tied to each other and I want to post all the connecting fics in between larger chapters#of my multi-chapter fics#haha)
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I'm being like astoundingly social lately. Starting from Thursday last week, I saw my girlfriend, then spent time with family on Friday, then saw my girlfriend again on Saturday + some of her friends, then watched a movie and drew stuff with friends on Sunday, then had a session 0 for new dnd on Monday, then watched anime with a friend on Tuesday. Off day on Wednesday. Then on THURSDAY I hung out with my girlfriend, had a study session with friend group (with mixed success at the studying part), AND watched anime with a friend again. And then today, watched a different anime with a different friend.
And TOMORROW I'm going to a concert with family and a friend, Sunday I'm hanging out with my girlfriend, then Monday I've got dnd thing again (probably? Need to double check). And then potentially more hangouts to come.
It's insane. What is this new social me. I don't think I've ever hung out with this many different people in such a short time before.
#speculation nation#it's fun though i probably will need to slow down a bit to not tire myself out bfkshfkd#the concert and the family thing last weekend are not normal occurences at least.#the movie and the study group were both from my discord server. tho with mostly different sets of people.#i think im at like... in just the past week ive hung out with... well...#3 on friday (plus saying hi to others at the temple but i dont rly spend time with them)#7 on saturday... i think it was like.. six? on sunday? i think. then Uhhhh#4 on monday. i think. 1 on tuesday. thursday had 3 new with 3 repeats from earlier in the week#and today was another person i hung out with earlier in the week#which puts me at TWENTY FOUR....... different people ive hung out with this week....holy shit....#granted on saturday 6 of them were my girlfriend's friends and im not very good at talking in a group irl#so i mostly talked to my girlfriend there. but even if U didnt count them that's still 18 people i hung out with#crazy. mind boggling. im a total introvert so this is like unprecedented.#I SWEAR I DONT NORMALLY COUNT PEOPLE LIKE THIS..... im just like. trying to put it into context for myself#and surprisingly i dont feel That exhausted by it... it helps that only 3 of these days had in person interactions#bc thats more tiring to me than just talking online. physical space takes more energy to emote etc etc#i think this is good for me honestly. spending time with people. not just wasting my life away with video games. you know.#tho i do need to balance it with writing.. i havent written anything since i posted the itnl update#and i rly need to get that reverse bang fic finished....hmmmmmmmm#ah well. i'll try to get lots of writing done next week. next week for sure..!!
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see the thing about the penumbra podcast is that when it's good it's really good. but also sometimes it is not very good at all, and the 'not very good at all' moments tend to outweigh the 'really very good and will stick with me forever' moments
#like s1-3 of junoverse are imo very good (s2 is arguably the best but i have a soft spot for the others)#s4 i have not listened to much of but i'm not sure how i feel about the nureyev reveal at the end#and from what ive heard i just dont think its as good as the earlier stuff#but second citadel is the best example i think bc s2? amazing; some of my favourite moments from any show#s3 was good even if i didnt like it As much#but then it sounds like s4 was just not very good maybe? and like s5 is also not very good?#2c started amazing but it feels to me like they sort of lost the thread of it a bit#idk im not gonna out this in main tags bc its not meant to be like a balanced critique#its just that i really love this show but i love the version of it that existed up to the end of s3#my post#personal
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mental that i have to work 45 hours a week to pay rent n bills n like survive when there's lassies making money just by logging onto instagram and lying about cortosil n hormones n that
#bea i seen u make a post about cortosil n it reminded me of the thought i had earlier#my insta explore page always has lassies telling me that the reason i have belly fat is bc of my out of balance hormones or cortosil levels#or whatever#n it's not#i have belly fat bc that's where me n my mum n my auntie n my granma n every lass with our genetics carries our fat#like that's it#it is as simple as that#when i put on weight it goes to my tummy#n i have put on weight bc it's winter#n that's okay too#anyway yeah i'll be loving my hibernation body n not buying any ebooks or diet teas thank u very much instagram x
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#re: your post in my inbox is overall great and poetic but i very much disagree about verstappen's driving style and preference of understeer#he absolutely heavily favours oversteer#in fact his *preferred* setup is incredibly oversteer#like a whole new world of front end#it doesn't mean he can't cope with understeer - he doesn't like it (nor does charles) but he is brilliant at it (charles too)#i agree that his style going into a corner is quite different from charles - the way the latter throws himself into a corner is...#extremely aggressive#max is razor perfect and charles aims for perfection on the razor edge is more how i would describe it#for me their car preference is very similar - they love snappy front end with extreme responsiveness and have amazing skill to wrestle it#they scorn understeer because that balance through the whole corner is unnecessary for their level of skill but they ROCK at understeer too#in fact the less responsive front end makes the car more unstable to drivers like them#in their earlier days i would stay max's incomparable quality was his internal clock - absolutely unbeatable timing#so his corners/braking/etc are just perfect and he extracts the absolute maximum#charles of that era actually took a more square/straight racing line which is fascinating as it's not the 'ideal racing line'#but he lets the car rotate on entry into the balancing phase of a corner and exits with a straighter line#not at all like max but very fast#i think he has actually adapted as some of the short shifting out of corners may have led to more tire deg back in the day#meanwhile his tire management (ferrari setup disasters aside) has been excellent last season#elle.txt#analysis#technical#car ride conversations with the hubby... this is what we ramble about lmao#btw thank you so much for the message! and so appreciate your love of my fics. it means so much <3 ty!
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I feel like I didn't make proper use of today. but I got several loads of laundry done and put fresh bedsheets and such on my bed. and that will have to be enough.
#also finished the 2 scribbles i posted earlier#maybe i'll watch a dvd before i inevitably have to go to bed to be as rested for work tomorrow as i can be...#kinda psyching myself out over this 3rd trial workday ngl#like i know i'll have to do everything on my own now. what if i mess up? what if i cost my boss money by messing up?#what if the customers get angry with me for being too slow???#because i KNOW i'm not as fast or skilled as the other workers#because of stupid brainfog and residual trauma shit#and my social skills and quick thinking are not what they should be#i could try to give it 180% to be on the same level as my coworkers but that'd burn me out in less than a week#i know from experience... has happened in several internships and another trial period before#the last one kickstarted the chronic pain and fatigue too#idk if i can find a good balance orz#also the wellfare application process is so damn difficult and takes weeks to be approved and idk if i can do that again#if i fail at keeping down a job...
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I can't wait to get to a new job where I hopefully won't be getting chats and calls after work hours saying that something needs to be sent right now because the deadline is today
#hana's random text posts#like it's her fucking job to be looking out for those deadlines#I'm now home#having to do this thing on my private computer because she didn't manage to work on it sooner#I was even asking about this specific thing earlier today#wondering about it since I knew there is a deadline just didn't know when#well turns out it's today#seriously fuck these people#they always say how pro work-life balance they are#but if you don't pick up your phone after work hours you're the bad one
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January 2024: well, I can’t get my antidepressants anymore and this withdrawal makes me want to kill myself. From now on I’ll just raw dog these feelings so I never have to deal with these side effects again.
June 2024: I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. The world is ending. We’re all walking through the end times and whether I die soon or the world collapses in on itself, I can feel the simultaneous emptiness and crushing weight of the end. There is nothing.
#this isn’t really funny is it?#anyway so yeah going back to the dr tomorrow to ask for antidepressants#which ones I don’t know. I’ve been on so many that I don’t know if anything really works#THIS IS NOT A SOLUTION FOR EVERYONE. THIS IS JUST ME. I NEED TO BE MEDICATED. I LOVE YOU. DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.#a whole nothingburger of a roadblock hit me earlier and I ended up having to sit outside for an hour#basically ‘hey can you maybe go to your appt a bit earler just in case they can see you sooner’ and I was like… why bother w/ ANYTHING!#one of those stupid things that’s so easy to work with in retrospect but at the time I honestly felt so hopeless and pushed around#what a fucking baby#anxiety and depression can just turn you into a fucking baby#I SAY THIS SO EMPATHETICLY! You are NOT a baby! your brain just doesn’t work right! I’m so sorry we gotta deal with this.#some people don’t need meds. some do. this post is about me. my chemicals have been caustic for years. I gotta balance the humors my liege#so basically I’ve been antidepressant free since mid jan. it’s sucked. it’s getting WOOOOORSE.#so as much as I hate adjusting to new meds. as much as I say ‘I don’t notice a difference’#about that. THIS is the difference you dumb bitch (me)!#I’ll be on meds and kinda mehhhh. but this. without meds. I’ll take meh and functional over months of meh and then suddenly DEATH!#I’m not in a position where I can just go out and get a bunch of healthy food and go work out and change my environment and blah blah blah#I’m poor and disabled boy!#but god… I know there’s more I could reasonably do. I know. I don’t need suggestions. I’m sorry. to myself and everyone I’m annoying.#just… for right now. for this week. let me try to rebalance.#I got some antianxieties to last a week maybe but they’re not cure-alls.#I wish I could say oh I popped an Ativan and I felt so good but NO! it makes me sleepy and a bit calmer and it’s NOT sustainable!#I can’t be drowsy all day long. I definitely CAN’T handle a benzo problem. fuck I am always worried about withdrawals with this stuff.#oh dang. I’ve just been sitting here rambling for maybe half an hour now in my little chair. doofus.#okay sorry to bother you#I love you and I love you and also I love you#you can ignore this#text
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I have successfully acquired sweaters for the winter and now I think it's time to restock my flannels
#i finally have a set point weight that i trend back to in my current balance of food and stress levels and alcohol consumption#and i have a few flannels leftover from tiny teen avi and a few from post weight gain round one but prepandemic shutdown avi#it's time to bequeath those to the young queers in town and find stuff i can wear again#maybe i'll keep a few and make a frankenflannel for fun#earlier this year was the pants and shorts restock and it feels so good to have stuff that i can guarantee fits day in and day out again#i do miss being small around sometimes but i've come to terms with being frog shaped like my dad#awesomely powerful legs#weird amount of arm stamina#joints trying to fall apart at all times#and bulk to toss around at my command
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A bunch of my best comet shots from the other week, collected together. These were taken over a couple different nights up at Mushroom Rocks in Rocky Mountain National Park (elevation ~12,300).
You can see Venus in close to the horizon in quite a few shots. In the second, here, it's peeking out between the rock outcroppings. I really love the balance between the twilight/sunset colors and the brightness of the comet in that one.
Taking a long 4 minute exposure makes the mountains in the distance look so bright. And the moon was in its waxing gibbous phase, so it was very bright out, overall. No need for a headlight to see.
It was such a neat place to view from, with some really cool rock formations where two different layers of granite meet. Several really do look like mushrooms.
The ones with more clouds are the first night we were out, and the comet was a little dimmer (or seemed like it was) because it was lower down in the sky closer to the sun. This was also shot a little earlier to catch Venus, too.
The colors and clouds of the first night do add some near contrast, too. This first shot is more akin to what our eyes were seeing, as far as the brightness of the terrain and ground.
I collected a few more photos that include some non-comet sky stuff in another post, too. You can find it under my #astrophotography tag.
#my photos#rocky mountains#not a reblog#rocky mountian national park#rmnp#outdoors#sunset#comet#astrophotography#mushroom rocks#rock cut
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