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Moby-Play Review

·         Honey-8/10: An absolute bop with a lovely gospel sample and a banging piano line. The funk guitars are pretty cool.

·         Find My Baby-5.5/10: A bold move, basically making the same song but not as good for the second song on the album. Yeah, the sample is more of a groove/introspective sound, but Moby still tries to couple it with this grandiose string-based banger, and it just doesn’t work as well. Still nice, but not great.

·         Porcelain-9/10: More of a New Age song with Moby’s hushed, dreaming lyrics, that string loop, the soft piano hits, and the aethereal exhortations of the sampled voice.

·         Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?-8/10: He somehow manages to make a bittersweet banger that bops pretty hard while also maintaining the doubtful, hurt melancholy of the original samples.

·         Southside-6.5/10: This is the most energized and straightforward pop that Moby really gets on the album, but his underwhelming singing just dropkicks the power of those guitars and the dark lyrics.

·         Rushing-5/10: It’s pretty, but at this point, the main Moby formula (gospel sample, strings, piano line, techno beat) is beginning to wear thin. The lack of investment really drags this one down.

·         Bodyrock-6/10: Another big banger. The Spoonie Gee/Treacherous Three sample gets pretty irritating as it loops ad nauseam, but it’s still a pretty well-constructed party jam.

·         Natural Blues-8.5/10: A great gospel sample sets this song a cut above the rest, and Moby sets up another banger.

·         Machete-7/10: The most techno-y track on the album. It’s a bit jarring in the larger context of the album, and the lulling vocals don’t really work, but when Moby starts hollering, the song really comes together.

·         7- 2/10: Just some random guitar wails and a loping backbeat.

·         Run On-7.5/10: Despite Acme Moby being pretty old at this point in the album, the lovely piano lines and that quartet sample gives the song some freshness.

·         Down Slow-3.5/10: A repetitive ambient quickie.

·         If Things Were Perfect-6/10: There’s something evocative about the sample, and the bassline is okay. The monologue is a bore.Right about here, Moby’s really and truly morphing from a pop/techno album with the Moby hallmarks omnipresent to a downtempo album.

·         Everloving-7/10: Some gorgeous, solemnly folklike guitar strums move the soul through another ambience

·         Inside-5.5/10: It sounds like something you would play in a vaporwave lite café.

·         Guitar Flute & String-7/10: The minimalism of this piece lets the beauty of Moby’s composition stand out, with only the title instruments playing, and the strings entering after the one-minute mark.

·         The Sky Is Broken-5/10: One of Moby’s most repetitive beats and a dreaming monologue.

·         My Weakness-6.5/10: It’s a great choral sample, and there’s a lot of melancholy, but nothing is really going on.

 Overall: 6.5/10

 Moby definitely overindulged himself with this album, but he made some great songs along the way. The peaks of this album were magnificent bangers filled with longing and beauty, while the nadirs were blips that nonetheless bored the listener. A slightly more judicious editing process may have led to Moby spreading out his most Moby™ tracks and dropping some of the dead weight, but there’s not a lot to complain about.

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benny blanco-Friends Keep Secrets Review

·         Eastside, feat Halsey and Khalid- 5/10: This one introduces the benny blanco production formula of “atmospheric (basic)” guitar loops with some tried-and-true drum patterns. Halsey makes it more tender, and the narrative of two dumb kids reminiscing on their love is average.

·         Roses, feat Juice WRLD and Brendon Urie-1/10: Another typical Juice WRLD rap about how his hedonism is tenuously tied to his heartbreak with a full-on reference to “Lucid Dreams.” Brendon diminishes himself by taking up Juice’s limited half-melody yet still pummels him in his short refrain.

·         Just For Us Pt. 2-2/10: We meet the third piece of benny’s arsenal: talkbox vocals. A filler ambient piece on a 21 minute LP is a bad sign, though it is at least a tiny bit pretty. It still has absolutely no point.

·         I Found You, feat Calvin Harris-6/10: Calvin Harris has obviously helped out with the vibrant production on this track, though it’s lyrical fluff.

·         Better To Lie, feat Jesse and Swae Lee-4.5/10: Another average beat, and Jesse underwhelms as a performer. He has neither great skill nor charisma, and Swae Lee does his minimum. I think they went too dark on the hook and chickened out for the verses.

·         More/Diamond Rings, feat Ty Dolla $ign and 6lack-2/10: Two tiny sketches of songs that blip by with no real meaning.

·         Break My Heart, feat Ryan Beatty-5/10: I want to like this song, as the ballad works so much better with blanco’s guitar work, but the lyrics are kind of generic, and the vocal effects become super distracting. I think he wanted a T-Pain/808s and Heartbreak feel, but it’s too sloppy. The outro kind of ties in, but eh.

Overall: 4/10

           I was honestly a bit disappointed. benny blanco has apparently been a songwriter for over ten years and has written for some of the biggest hits from Ke$ha, Katy Perry, Ed Sheeran, Taio Cruz, Justin Bieber, and Maroon 5. While these obviously aren’t high quality seals of approval, I at least expected some more ingenuity or energy. Instead, I got a lot of low-energy beats with minimal producer involvement: just slap a guitar loop over some drums, maybe turn on a talkbox, and you essentially have half of the songs on this album. It’s barely 21 minutes, and yet it still has room for filler with the nothing song “Just For Us, Pt 2” and the half-songs in “More/Diamond Ring.” He doesn’t even have a solo production credit on any of his songs. Also, the features are just poorly chosen. Who thought it wise to set Juice WRLD with Brendon Urie and then have Juice WRLD sing? Who thought that it was a good idea to expose the lack of production ingenuity by featuring Calvin Harris and having him produce? Who is Ryan Beatty? Overall, just a depressed album.

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Billboard Remix: January 2019

1.    All I Want For Christmas Is You (Mariah Carey)

2.    The Merry Christmas Song (Nat King Cole)

3.    Sunflower (Post Malone, Swae Lee)

4.    It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year (Andy Williams)

5.    Drip Too Hard (Lil Baby, Gunna)

6.    breathin’ (Ariana Grande)

7.    thank u, next (Ariana Grande)

8.    Happier (Marshmello, Bastille)

9.    ZEZE (Kodak Black, Travis Scott, Offset)

10. A Holly Jolly Christmas (Burl Ives)

11. Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow (Dean Martin)

12. Money (Cardi B)

13. Lucid Dreams (Juice WRLD)

14. SICKO MODE (Travis Scott, Drake, Swae Lee)

15. Without Me (Halsey)

16. Wow (Post Malone)

17. Eastside (benny blanco, Khalid, Halsey)

18. Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer (Gene Autry)

19. High Hopes (Panic! At The Disco)

20. Youngblood (5 Seconds Of Summer)

21. Jingle Bell Rock (Bobby Helms)

22. Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree (Brenda Lee)

23. Better Now (Post Malone)

24. Wake Up In The Sky (Gucci Mane, Bruno Mars, Kodak Black)

25. MIA (Bad Bunny, Drake)

26. Girls Like You (Maroon 5, Cardi B)

27. Taki Taki (DJ Snake, Ozuna, Cardi B, Selena Gomez)

28. Mo Bamba (Sheck Wes)

[reviewmonkeyreview]

Billboard Remix: December 2018

Switching to a monthly basis. Still Top 20.

28. Mo Bamba: Sheck Wes

27. Girls Like You: Maroon 5, Cardi B

26. Natural: Imagine Dragons

25. MIA: Bad Bunny, Drake

24. Wake Up In The Sky: Gucci Mane, Bruno Mars, Kodak Black

23. Youngblood: 5 Seconds of Summer

22. Rockin Around The Christmas Tree: Brenda Lee

21. Better Now: Post Malone

20. Jingle Bell Rock: Bobby Helms

19. Without Me: Halsey

18. Going Bad: Meek Mill, Drake

17. High Hopes: Panic! At The Disco

16. SICKO MODE: Travis Scott, Drake, Swae Lee

15. Lucid Dreams: Juice WRLD

14. ZEZE: Kodak Black, Travis Scott, Offset

13. Eastside: benny blanco, Halsey, Khalid

12. It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year: Andy Williams

11. Trip: Ella Mai

10. Happier: Marshmello, Bastille

9. Drip Too Hard: Lil Baby, Gunna

8. thank u, next: Ariana Grande

7. breathin’: Ariana Grande

6. Holly Jolly Christmas: Burl Ives

5. Love Lies: Khalid, Normani

4. What’s Free: Meek Mill, Rick Ross, Jay-Z

3. Sunflower: Post Malone, Swae Lee

2. The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas To You): Nat King Cole

1. All I Want For Christmas Is You: Mariah Carey

[reviewmonkeyreview]

Top 20 Top 20: Drake

This year, twenty songs by or featuring Drake entered the Top 20 of the Billboard Hot 100. How good were they? Well...

20. I���m Upset (1/10)

19. Look Alive (Blocboy JB) (2/10)

18. Yes Indeed (Lil Baby) (2/10)

17. Elevate (2.5/10)

16. Walk It Talk It (Migos) (3/10)

15. MIA (Bad Bunny) (3/10)

14. Nonstop (4.5/10)

13. Can’t Take A Joke (5/10)

12. Mob Ties (5/10)

11. Diplomatic Immunity (5.5/10)

10. Don’t Matter To Me (feat Michael Jackson) (5.5/10)

9. Survival (6/10)

8. In My Feelings (6.5/10)

7. SICKO MODE (Travis Scott) (6.5/10)

6. God’s Plan (6.5/10)

5. Emotionless (6.5/10)

4. Going Bad (6.5/10)

3. Never Recover (7.5/10)

2. Talk Up (8/10)

1. Nice For What (8.5/10)

Overall: 5/10

This year, Drake held the number one slot of the Hot 100 for over half of the year with minimal artistic effort. Most of his guest verses underwhelmed, and he invested almost as little lyrical power in his own project, Scorpion. Nothing great in the flow and singing department, and when he could be bothered to say something, it was mostly whining about how life is hard with a tone so apathetic that it doesn’t seem that hard. Of the songs rated above a 5 out of 10, Drake’s performance was rarely elevating the track and never the best part. It was a disappointment.

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The Internet: Hive Mind Review

·         Come Together-7.5/10: An effortless, slightly jazzy funk track with two great basslines and some lovely winds. Syd still has that classy, petite jazz singing.

·         Roll (Burbank Funk)-8/10: Even breezier! Steve Lacy proves a good singer, and the bass is fantastic. Some party-oriented funk lyrics.

·         Come Over- 6.5/10: Jerkier than a lot of the other tracks, but Syd’s sickly-sweet seduction and the bright melancholy of the guitar line make this actually one of the more emotionally involved songs. The outro is also awkward.

·         La Di Da- 8.5/10: Full funk party package. Slippery guitar, irresistible beat, some plain old fun for the vocalists, and of course, dat bass. It’s just pure joy.

·         Stay the Night-9/10: The tense intimacy of the ballad, blurring the line between paranoia and love, makes for a surprisingly dark turn for the album at this point. The guitar and bass are a lot moodier, and the percussion seems to tick away their time.

·         Bravo-7.5/10: An even more bitter song about how Syd’s lover is a horrible person who fooled Syd and will be visited by karma. The snare and synth on the beat get distracting, but there are still some nice melodies.

·         Mood-7.5/10: A more innocent, nocturnal song. With some subdued rhythms, smooth bass, sexy saxophone, keyboards, and some backing vocals, Syd sets the scene for trying to woo her lover. The guitar line gets a little much, but still a good song.

·         Next Time/Humble Pie-5.5/10. The beatboxing on “Next Time” doesn’t work the best with Syd’s lovesickness, and the lack of funk on “Humble Pie” weakens the betrayed anger.

·         It Gets Better (With Time)-8/10: This one’s a keeper. The band slows it down to a somber groove with the guitars a bit more subdued, and Syd delivers her most soulful pleading yet, but she now wants us to recover.

·         Look What U Started-8/10: The band couples one of their best and most up-front basslines with even more heartbreak from Syd, this time with extra crushed soul.

·         Wanna Be-7/10: How long can Syd be lovesick? Apparently infinitely. This song is more about the awkward tension of not knowing exactly where a relationship stands, and the beat’s pretty laid-back.

·         Beat Goes On-7.5/10: More funky grooves and a cool acceptance that not everything will work out in life, but that’s okay. There are a lot of good touches from the keys. The outro is pretty cool, with more atmospheric elements and a quicker breakbeat.

·         Hold On-7/10: The album ends on a melancholy note, with Syd begging just to make it through this love over a slower beat.

 Overall Score-8/10: The Internet couples their young, scared heartbreak with some carefree funk and the occasional inversion of fun and fancy free or slow ballads to make an exquisite R&B album.

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2018 Year End: Ranked

1.     Lemon-N.E.R.D., Rihanna

2.     How Long-Charlie Puth

3.     Be Careful-Cardi B

4.     One Kiss-Calvin Harris, Dua Lipa

5.     no tears left to cry-Ariana Grande

6.     Nice For What-Drake

7.     Stir Fry-Migos

8.     Young Dumb & Broke-Khalid

9.     Finesse REMIX-Bruno Mars, Cardi B

10.New Rules-Dua Lipa

11.Love Lies-Khalid, Normani

12.Feel It Still-Portugal. The Man

13.Sorry Not Sorry-Demi Lovato

14.Taste-Tyga, Offset

15.All The Stars-Kendrick Lamar, SZA

16.I Get The Bag-Gucci Mane, Migos

17.Eastside-benny blanco, Halsey, Khalid

18.I Like It-Cardi B, Bad Bunny, J Balvin

19.Marry Me-Thomas Rhett

20.Mine-Bazzi

21.Delicate-Taylor Swift

22.King’s Dead-Kendrick Lamar, Jay Rock, Future, James Blake

23.The Middle-Zedd, Grey, Maren Morris

24.Havana-Camila Cabello

25.God is a woman-Ariana Grande

26.IDGAF-Dua Lipa

27.This Is America-Childish Gambino

28.Too Good At Goodbyes-Sam Smith

29.No Limit-G-Eazy, A$AP Rocky, Cardi B

30.In My Blood-Shawn Mendes

31.Ric Flair Drip-Offset, Metro Boomin

32.Boo’d Up-Ella Mai

33.Heaven-Kane Brown

34.Pray For Me-Kendrick Lamar, The Weeknd

35.Happier-Marshmello, Bastille

36.SAD!-XXXTENTACION

37.Powerglide-Rae Sremmurd, Juicy J

38.Sky Walker-Miguel, Travis Scott

39.Trip-Ella Mai

40.Say Something-Justin Timberlake

41.Lucid Dreams-Juice WRLD

42.Bartier Cardi-Cardi B, 21 Savage

43.God’s Plan-Drake

44.Bad At Love-Halsey

45.GUMMO-6ix9ine

46.LOVE.-Kendrick Lamar, Zacari

47.SICKO MODE-Travis Scott, Drake, Swae Lee

48.In My Feelings-Drake

49.rockstar-Post Malone, 21 Savage

50.Dura-Daddy Yankee

51.Outside Today-YoungBoy Never Broke Again

52.Mi Gente-J Balvin, Willy Williams, Beyonce

53.Better Now-Post Malone

54.Let You Down-NF

55.Call Out My Name-The Weeknd

56.FRIENDS-Marshmello, Anne Marie

57.Whatever It Takes-Imagine Dragons

58.You Make It Easy-Jason Aldean

59.Plain Jane REMIX-A$AP Ferg, Nicki Minaj

60.Bodak Yellow-Cardi B

61.1-800-273-8255-Logic, Khalid, Alessia Cara

62.Youngblood-5 Seconds Of Summer

63.Mercy-Brett Young

64.BIG BANK-YG, 2 Chainz, Big Sean, Nicki Minaj

65.One Number Away-Luke Combs

66.Nonstop-Drake

67.MotorSport-Migos, Cardi B, Nicki Minaj

68.Wolves-Marshmello, Selena Gomez

69.Plug Walk-Rich The Kid

70.Never Be The Same-Camila Cabello

71.No Brainer-DJ Khaled, Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance The Rapper

72.Shape Of You-Ed Sheeran

73.Psycho-Post Malone, Ty Dolla $ign

74.changes-XXXTENTACION

75.Perfect-Ed Sheeran, Beyonce

76.Thunder-Imagine Dragons

77.Back To You-Selena Gomez

78.X-Nicky Jams, J Balvin

79.Moonlight-XXXTENTACION

80.Simple-Florida Georgia Line

81.Gucci Gang-Lil Pump

82.Wait-Maroon 5

83.Believer-Imagine Dragons

84.I Fall Apart-Post Malone

85.Te Bote-Nio Garcia, Casper Magico, Darell, Nicky Jam, Ozuna, Bad Bunny

86.Walk It Talk It-Migos, Drake

87.Yes Indeed-Lil Baby, Drake

88.Get Along-Kenny Chesney

89.Look Alive-Blocboy JB, Drake

90.What Lovers Do-Maroon 5, SZA

91.Him & I-G-Eazy, Halsey

92.I Like Me Better-Lauv

93.I’m Upset-Drake

94.Natural-Imagine Dragons

95.Tequila-Dan & Shay

96.Girls Like You-Maroon 5, Cardi B

97.Meant To Be-Bebe Rexha, Florida Georgia Line

98.Freaky Friday-Lil Dicky, Chris Brown

99.Lights Down Low-MAX, gnash

100. FEFE-6ix9ine, Nicki Minaj, Murda Beatz

[reviewmonkeyreview]

Billboard Remix: December 22, 2018

Welcome to Billboard Remix, where we re-rank the Top 20 of the Hot 100 according to actual artistic merit.

20. Mo Bamba: Sheck Wes (12)

19. Girls Like You: Maroon 5, Cardi B (10)

18. Wake Up In The Sky: Gucci Mane, Bruno Mars, Kodak Black (11)

17. Rockin Around The Christmas Tree: Brenda Lee (18)

16. Jingle Bell Rock: Bobby Helms (15)

15. Better Now: Post Malone (20)

14. Without Me: Halsey (2)

13. High Hopes: Panic! At The Disco (5)

12. SICKO MODE: Travis Scott, Drake, Swae Lee (3)

11. Going Bad: Meek Mill, Drake (17)

10. Lucid Dreams: Juice WRLD (19)

9. Happier: Marshmello, Bastille (4)

8. It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year: Andy Williams (13)

7. ZEZE: Kodak Black, Travis Scott, Offset (9)

6. Drip Too Hard: Lil Baby, Gunna (8)

5. Sunflower: Post Malone, Swae Lee (7)

4. Eastside: benny blanco, Halsey, Khalid (16)

3. thank u, next: Ariana Grande (1)  

2. All I Want For Christmas Is You: Mariah Carey

1. breathin’: Ariana Grande (14)

[reviewmonkeyreview]

Billboard Remix: December 22, 2018

Welcome to Billboard Remix, where we re-rank the Top 20 of the Hot 100 according to actual artistic merit.

20. Mo Bamba: Sheck Wes (12)

19. Girls Like You: Maroon 5, Cardi B (10)

18. Wake Up In The Sky: Gucci Mane, Bruno Mars, Kodak Black (11)

17. Rockin Around The Christmas Tree: Brenda Lee (18)

16. Jingle Bell Rock: Bobby Helms (15)

15. Better Now: Post Malone (20)

14. Without Me: Halsey (2)

13. High Hopes: Panic! At The Disco (5)

12. SICKO MODE: Travis Scott, Drake, Swae Lee (3)

11. Going Bad: Meek Mill, Drake (17)

10. Lucid Dreams: Juice WRLD (19)

9. Happier: Marshmello, Bastille (4)

8. It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year: Andy Williams (13)

7. ZEZE: Kodak Black, Travis Scott, Offset (9)

6. Drip Too Hard: Lil Baby, Gunna (8)

5. Sunflower: Post Malone, Swae Lee (7)

4. Eastside: benny blanco, Halsey, Khalid (16)

3. thank u, next: Ariana Grande (1)  

2. All I Want For Christmas Is You: Mariah Carey

1. breathin’: Ariana Grande (14)

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Chainsmokers: Sick Boy Review

This Feeling (feat Kelsea Ballerini): 3.5/10. By far, the most typically Chainsmokers song here. Kelsea and Taggart try for Romeo and Juliet, but the absence of detail combined with the lackluster production makes for a sorry, saccharine listen. At least the drop is better than most on the album, though it’s essentially the “Closer” technique of distorting the vocal line to heck.

Beach House: 2.5/10. They had a couple seconds of Beach House-type music, but they go right back on their bullcrap with another by-the-numbers EDM pop banger with an ugly, UGLY horn on the drop. Lyrics are just a lazy hookup song with a manic pixie dream girl. It’s probably a lot more terrible of a narrative than I give it credit for, but due to how self-centered and shallow the song is, it feels less like a disturbing tale of seeking out a dependent girl and more like a YA checklist. “Ok, she’s hot, she’s young, we have some indie cred...did we remember the trauma? Gotta put the trauma in.”

Hope (feat Winona Oak): 5.5/10. A song with some personality! Winona’s subpar enunciation and somebody realizing that their infatuation involves a lot of projection adds. The artifice of the Chainsmokers’ entire style really makes these kinds of anti-love songs work. Though the beat is better than most on the album, the peppy marimbas are mismatched, and Taggart still can’t sing.

Somebody (feat Drew Love): 4/10. Underwhelming tale about keeping it real with some hollow, pretty instrumentation and Taggart once again being completely outsung by the guest.

Side Effects (feat Emily Warren): 7.5/10. So the Chainsmokers decided to be a slightly edgier Calvin Harris for a second. I actually applaud this decision, as the bassline for this song is exceptional, as well as the production all around. It’s a song about desperation and stuff, and as I said earlier, the Chainsmokers work better with anit-love songs than love songs. Best song on the album.

Sick Boy: 2/10. “America is bad.” Care to expand on that? “Um...no.” Yeah, here the Chainsmokers try to give some commentary on how we’re living in a world of sensationalist media that deadens our outrage when atrocities occur, but the duo use so little personal touch or detail that it just comes off as pandering. Also, the beat is dull. 

Everybody Hates Me: 1/10. See “Sick Boy.” Replace America with the haters.

Siren (feat Aazar): 0/10. They made a dubstep song with a break that sounds like someone attempted and failed to isolated the synths in the “Purple Lamborghini” drop, then it broke into a robot clown with a hairball. There are some lyrics about a party going wrong and Taggart wanting the police to show up, but nobody cares.

You Owe Me: 1/10. See “Everybody Hates Me.”

Save Yourself (feat NGHTMRE): 0.5/10. See “Siren,” but a marginally better drop and no story.

Overall: 2.5/10

Genre: EDM; Pop; Dubstep; “Rock”

This album is a self-centered mess. The Chainsmokers are once again dancing to the criticisms of Memories...Do Not Open, with an opening barrage of vague, adolescent love ballads that don’t stick longer than a moment and some mediocre festival EDM. However, they also add in some oddly defensive and touchy yet equally vague commentaries on celebrity, social media, and America over even limper EDM, as well as dubstep tracks. The duo don’t seem to be particularly interested in the prettiness of their music any more, leading to some tremendous messes like the noise cluster of “Beach House” and the dubstep tracks. Taggart still underwhelms as a singer, and the lyrics are incredibly banal. The album doesn’t know if it wants to be a teenage love album penned by two men over the age of 28 or a whinefest penned by two men over the age of 28 whose biggest concerns seem to be the haters(tm) and an unspecific sense of uneasiness about America. No real issues, just a mild suspicion. No wonder none of these songs (all released as singles) broke the Top 40.