#to answer your question there are a LOT of things wrong with me
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Is it casual now?/extra II
One shot; college students drew x reader
Summary: “Baby, no attachments.” yet, you’re at his childhood home, laughing with his parents, bonding with his siblings.
Genre: situation-ship, smut, fluff, angst,
Warnings: swearing, sex, light read, etc
⋆.˚ this is entirely fictional, if uncomfortable then don't read
⋆.˚ official one shot, extra I
♡⸝⸝ "fucked you in the bathroom, when we went to dinner"
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“Where you going?”
You ask, as Drew stands up. The warmth of his hands caressing your thighs is gone, now running through his hair. “Bathroom,” he mumbles, barely meeting your eyes. He walks off, without another glance back at the table.
His sour mood is evident, by not only you, but all of your friends.
To be fair, he didn’t even want to come tonight. He pleaded desperately for you to stay in with him, offering things to you that was ridiculous. Such as, doing your laundry for a month (he doesn’t even do his own).
But you haven’t hung out with all your friends in a long time, and you missed them. So, tonight was non-negotiable with Drew.
And he gave up with trying to reason with you, hence, why he decided to join you here, at the nice restaurant. He didn’t even make an effort to engage nicely with them, chuckling under his breath at random times and answering questions with short answers. Whenever you were talking, he would purposely distract you by touching you under the table, making it awkward for you and your friends.
Drew knows your friends don’t like him; that’s why he’s sour. That’s also why he shows up to these hangouts, just to rub it in their faces.
“Why did you invite him?” Lucy groans, after Drew was out of eye sight. Your five other friends of this group nod too, all letting out groans of frustration. “Hello, earth to y/n, we. Don’t. Like. Him.”
“He insisted on joining,” you shrug, forcing a smile.
“Um, you could’ve insisted on him not joining,” Janet, another friend adds on.
Your friend group was filled with weird people with different opinions, but one thing they’ve collectively agreed on was: they hate Drew. ‘Hate’ is a strong word, but that was the only way to describe their feelings towards Drew.
They’ve expressed it a lot of times, so it’s become numb to you.
“Are you guys finally together though?” Gary asks, sitting beside you.
Oh. Every time they see you, they ask this question.
“Of course not,” Lucy answers for you, sending you a cocky grin. One you always disliked, because it made you feel small. “Classmates, huh?”
“A really bad label,” Stacy adds on. Yeah, as if you didn’t already know.
Great. Now it’s just your whole friend group judging you for being with Drew. Again. The last thing you needed from them.
“I visited his parents,” you aggressively say, stabbing into your food. Hopefully that will convince them Drew is a better person that what they think, right?
Wrong. They all ‘tsk’ in a disappointed manner, shaking their heads. “And…still classmates?”
“Well, he said I was his best friend,” you stuff the food in your mouth, “To his family.”
“He probably had to,” Josh speaks up this time, “and wow, is that the first time he called you his friend?”
You don’t miss the sarcasm in his voice, and you send him a glare. He raises his hands in defense, the table laughs.
You don’t find the humor in this situation. Why were they so judgmental towards the relationship with Drew? It’s not like he’s the biggest jackass ever. You’ve seen every side there is to Drew, they just don’t know him like you do. “Can you guys cut it off?” You say, not trying to hide the annoyance in your voice.
“We’re just joking,” Janet laughs, glancing around, “besides, we’re worried for you.”
You chew and swallow the food in your mouth, sending her an unappreciative smile, “‘worried’ for me?”
“Yes, he’s obviously not… well, in love with you,” Janet continues, “we don’t want you with someone who clearly doesn’t care for you.”
“He cares for me,” you defend, furrowing your eyebrows at them. You look around the table, seeing your friends glance down at their food, afraid to meet your eyes. “He cares for me.”
“Sure he does,” Stacy bitterly agrees with you. That tone pisses you off. “Maybe privately, he does, but what about in public? Starting off with the most basic, labels.”
You hate how right your friends are. As rude and mean they’re being, deep down, you know they’re right. The ‘no attachments’ thing is bullshit, especially when nothing about the two of you is casual.
Five, no close to six months, nothing about that is causal.
“That…doesn’t matter,” you murmur. Wrong; it mattered a lot, to everyone and to you. You just hated to admit you weren’t as chill or casual as Drew was, how he made everything romantic seem friendly with you.
When you look around, everyone is now staring at you pitifully.
You didn’t like that. That pity stare. There’s nothing to be pity of. Bunch of people around the world right now might be having situation-ships too. Nothing to pity. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Yeah. That’s what you keep brainwashing yourself to believe.
‘The girl that he bangs on his couch’. Yeah. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Your phone on the table lights up, and it reads bathroom. now.
Drew. “Um, excuse me,” you stand up, excusing yourself to the bathroom.
As you slowly get up and walk away, your friends weren’t very careful with the volume of their voice. You hear one of them calling you a loser, still hanging around just for a good dick to suck.
That must be Janet. Her lonely ass must be jealous.
But part of you knew she wasn’t wrong. You were a loser. The biggest loser to exist. The loser of losers, if that even is a thing.
Casual. Your friends succeeded once again, in making you doubt everything with Drew.
——
“Really boring, right?”
Drew pulls you in by the waist, a lazy smile on his lips as he stares down at you. He leans against the sink, making you stand between his legs.
This restaurant had two bathrooms, each with their own sink inside. So, Drew took full advantage of that.
“Hmm,” you hum carelessly. You didn’t want agree with him; you tried to make this evening nice, but his attitude towards your friends just weren’t helping. You keep your gaze around the collar of his jacket, not wanting to meet his eyes.
“Something wrong?” He asks, playfulness still hinted in his words. His hand rub circles around your waist, as he tries to make eye contact with you, bending his head down to your level.
You advert your gaze even more, now focusing on the bracelet around his wrist. Now that you think about it, he always has this on, since the day you got it for him.
Was that casual to do? To keep the bracelet on at all times.
“Look at me, would you?” Drew’s tone turns serious, and he pinches the side of your waist harshly.
You flinch, finally looking up at him. You meet his blue eyes, a mix of concern and something else that you can’t read. His raised eyebrows tell you that he wants you to talk, to tell him what’s on your mind.
Should you? But, where do you even start? With his attitude tonight, or with your friend’s comments? Or with this whole casual thing, which is basically the beginning to it all.
Your lips pout on its own, resting your hands around his wrist. “That was uncalled for,” you murmur, looking down at his bracelet again.
“What was?” Drew’s pinch one your waist is more soft this time, wanting to get the words out of you.
“Doing that,” you say, playing with his chained bracelet. Shit. You’re gonna say it. You’re gonna call him out for his behavior. “Being rude to my friends.”
A scoff escapes Drew. He then brings his hand up to your face, forcing you to look up at him. Like second nature, you lean your face into the palm of his hand, waiting for him to explain himself. “Babe, your friends were the rude ones.”
The feeling inside your stomach is indescribable. The nickname sends you butterflies, but the words that follow don't.
“How?” You ask, crossing your arms.
He licks his lips, squinting his eyes at you. “It was so fucking obvious.”
“Was it?”
“Yes- yes, it was,” Drew straightens his posture, taking his hands off you. The warmth of him is gone, now with the presence of a man trying to explain his reasonable case of being bratty. “They asked loaded questions to me this whole night.”
You furrow your eyebrows, thinking hard to the stuff they asked Drew. Shit. They were. Your friends didn’t even trying to hide their discontent with him tonight.
“They hate me,” he adds on, “C’mon, I leave the table for like, a few minutes, and they talked shit, right?”
The way he looks at you; he challenges you to disagree with him. But you couldn’t; he was right. Your friends hate him, making you constantly doubt whatever this was with Drew.
“Wasn’t all shit,” you lie, sending him the smallest smile ever.
Drew makes the ‘tsk’ sound, shaking his head as he gives you a tired smile. “What they say then?” He asks, leaning back against the sink again.
His eyes look at you in anticipation, biting down on his lips.
You do not want to tell him what they said. It was rude, and although it was about Drew, it affected you more than it should have. The seeds of doubt are always planted by your friends, they never put you at ease with this relationship.
You give him a lazy smile, snaking your arms around his neck. You lean in close to him, a seductive look in your eyes. “Does it matter? They talk shit, all they ever do.”
Drew’s lips slightly part, and he glances quickly down at your lips. Then he looks back at your eyes, and a smile appears, “I see what you’re doing. You’re distracting me.”
You shrug lightly, before planting a small kiss on his jaw. “Is it working?”
You hear a chuckle escape from him, and his hand wraps around the back of your head. His eyes keep bouncing between your lips and eyes, smiling from ear-to-ear, “annoyingly so, you minx.”
Without another comment, Drew kisses you, soft and slow.
You return the kiss, escalating into a whole make-out session.
You hate how your body reacts to him; feeling a pool of wetness form between your legs. Fuck.
Something pokes against your lower stomach, and you pull away from Drew. You glance down; he’s erected. “Shit,” you curse, as his hands slide down your body. He squeezes your ass, burying his face into your neck as he breathes the skin there.
“I…I can’t go back to the table like this,” he murmurs, referring to his erection.
You watch as his back rises and falls, through the sink mirror. Even with this thick white jacket he has on, you can tell his breathing has sped up. Your lips form a straight line, running your hands through his short hair.
In the bathroom? Right in the middle of dinner? It was highly inappropriate.
Wrapping your hands around his face, you pull him up to meet his eyes. He looks at you pleadingly, lips parted with drool on the corner of his lips.
Fuck. How is one suppose to say no to that look? He looked as if he physically needed you; needed you to calm the… ‘growing’ in his pants.
“Ten minutes,” you tell him, which immediately lights the spark in his eyes. He looks like a puppy! You smile at that thought, as he straightens himself, switching your positions.
“Ten minutes? Enough for two rounds,” he teases, lifting you to sit on the sink.
“No! One round,” you say, which gets cut off by Drew kissing you again. As much fun as two rounds sound, the longer you linger in here, the more obvious it is that the two of you are fucking.
He groans into your mouth, spreading your legs to stand between them. His hands move fast into your dress, slipping your underwear off. The cold surface of the sink hits your thighs and pussy, adding to the heat growing within you.
Drew trails his kisses down your neck, as your hands work on undoing his belt.
You moan when he sucks on the sweet-spot around your neck, the belt dropping onto the floor with a hard thud. “Drew…” you moan out, messy hands tugging his hair as he continues to form hickeys around your neck.
You want to run your hands around his stomach, chest, abs. But the jacket he has on prevents that, being zipped up the whole way. This jacket looked great on him, but would look better on the floor.
Your hands fidget with the zipper, tugging with no luck of it moving.
Drew pulls away from your neck, a chuckle escaping, “babe, gently.”
His hands overlaps yours, guiding you to pull the jacket zipper down. It reveals that he isn’t wearing anything inside; a feast to your eyes. “Is that why you refused to take this off?” You ask, referring to before the dinner started.
“I was invited last minute,” he shrugs the jacket off, as if it wasn’t his fault for the improvised outfit.
“Right, but you weren’t invited,” you remind him, when he insisted on joining you when you were leaving, throwing on a random outfit nearby. You were busy putting your heels on, so you couldn’t see the moment when he got dressed. You didn’t even know he owned a jacket like this.
“Mmhm,” his mind was elsewhere, attaching his lips to yours again. Sloppy and more lustful this time, as your hands wander around his body. It’s hot under your touch; his abs flexing as you run your hands over them.
His hand grips onto your thigh, before moving closer to your heat.
When the warmth of his fingers hit your pussy, you moan loudly into his mouth.
“Shit,” he chuckles, “we’re in public, babe.”
The tip of your ears heat up too, from the embarrassment and realization that you’re in public, most likely having people hear you from the other side of the door. “Sorry,” you murmur, burying your face into his neck.
Drew sticks two fingers into your hole, and starts thrusting at a faster speed than usual. Your breathing becomes uneven, as you try to tone down your moans.
Drew wasn’t having it easy either, as you hear low grunts escaping him. “Fuck,” he curses, adding another digit, “you’re tight tonight.”
“Just fuck me already,” you manage to say, hands gripping on his biceps. Surely, this was enough foreplay, right?
He chuckles again, this time at your impatience. He pulls his fingers out of you, his hands going to the back pocket of his jeans.
The familiar gold packaging comes out, and his hands skillfully rip them open.
“…couldn’t put on a shirt but bought a condom with you?” Laughter escapes you, as you watch him unzip his pants.
He glances up at you, and when he sees you smiling ear-to-ear, he can’t help but match you, “wasn’t gonna show up totally unprepared, right?”
You laugh again; what an unbelievable guy. “Shirt’s optional but condom a must. Got it.”
Drew lets his pants and boxers hang around his knees, his cock standing proud. The sight immediately wipes the smile off your lips, gulping as you imagine it stuffed inside you.
“The chances of fucking you wherever and whenever is high,” Drew says, wrapping the condom around his dick.
He looks up at you, seeing your gaze fixed on his hard cock. A smirk helps themselves to his lips, as his hands tug on your waist. An idea flashes in his mind as he looks over your shoulder, at the big sink mirror.
“Get off,” his voice brings you back, looking at him with confused eyes now. “C’mon, trust me.”
You let him bring you back onto the ground, before flipping you over. You see both your reflections in the mirror, your back hitting his chest, his dick poking your upper ass.
When you meet his eyes through the mirror, you understand where this was going.
“Watch yourself while I destroy your fucking pussy, hmm?”
Oh. Oh. Was it possible to be turned on by words?
Drew lifts up your dress, revealing your wet core. You hold onto the sink for support, grip getting tighter when you feel Drew’s tip against your entrance.
Then, he slips in, going deep until it’s completely nestled inside you.
“Fuck,” you moan, glancing up at Drew. He sends you a smirk, enjoying this too. His hand goes to your stomach, and he lifts you backward, resting against his chest again.
“Grip my hair, and keep your eyes open, alright?” His voice drops low, one hand moving to knead your breasts.
You nod, bringing your hands behind you; one tugging gently around his hair, another around his arm that’s supporting you.
He starts to thrust into you, rather roughly and fast. “Shit,” you moan, the sensation sending you to outer space. With his thick cock slamming into you, his hands roaming your body, your hands running through his short hair, it feels euphoric.
Your eyes can barely stay open, as you look at the reflection in the mirror. Drew leaves a trail of sloppy kisses along your shoulder, which sends goosebumps to your skin.
You watch as one of his hand slips between your thighs, starting to massage your pussy. “Fuck,” you moan, louder than you should be. You couldn’t help it, the pleasure was extraordinary.
He kisses your earlobe, “i’know baby, but keep it down, alright?”
“Y-yeah,” it barely comes out, as the thrusts and massages to your core intensifies. The familiar knot in your stomach forms, informing you that you’re close. “Drew…”
His pace doesn’t stop, and when you lean your head back on his shoulder, he goes harder, “close?”
You nod with any energy left, and Drew uses his free hand to lift your face up again. He kisses your cheek, “use your words.”
You flutter your eyes open, looking at the two of you in the mirror. It was extremely hot, to see Drew filling you up, his hands all around you. The mirror starts to fog up a little, with all the grunting and pressure filling in here.
“I’m coming,” you force out, and meet Drew’s gaze in the mirror. His blue eyes meet yours, seething with lust.
You clench around him, your hand going around Drew’s, which is massaging your pussy. He stops massaging, and he intertwines your hands together. The stickiness doesn’t bother you; why should it?
“Fuck,” he groans, his thrusts to your g-spot growing sloppy.
You tilt your head sideways, and you give him a quick kiss, which sends you over the edge. Your orgasm explodes inside of you, cum dripping out and over Drew’s cock.
Body giving up, you lean completely against Drew, as he helps himself to his. His cock twitches, and you feel the familiar hot liquid filling up.
Both of you are breathing heavily, euphoria radiating off your bodies. Fuck. This might just be one of the best fucks you’ve had with Drew. But in a public restroom? Who would’ve thought.
“You’re so hot,” he compliments, before planting a small kiss on the side of your face.
You giggle at that stupid comment, looking at him through the mirror; He’s got a playful smile on his lips, looking at you with smitten eyes. “You’re great with your words.”
He chuckles, his hands tapping against the side of your waist, signaling you to move. You use the energy left inside of you, helping him slip out. Leaning against the sink, you watch as Drew grabs tissues to wipe your core, then throwing his condom away.
After that, he grabs your underwear on the floor. You get yourself dressed, him doing the same thing.
“Look, only…only seven minutes passed,” Drew comments with a sly smile on his lips, showing you his watch.
You roll your eyes, your lips betraying you by forming a smile. “Cocky much?”
He puts his jacket back on, the last piece of clothing. “Well, you've definitely enjoyed the taste of it.”
You hit his chest playfully, his remark sending butterflies to your stomach. He laughs, zipping his jacket only halfway. Your eyebrows furrow at his exposed chest that pierces through the top; and you reach for the zipper.
Drew stays in place, and you feel his gaze on the top of your head, his hot breath hitting you. You ignore the tension that pulls; when you’re done, you pat his chest, “all done, buddy.”
“‘Buddy’?” There’s a hint of amusement in his tone, eyes squinting down at you.
You send him a soft smile, seeing him glance down at your lips. “What?”
“Call me buddy one more time,” his hands wrap around your waist, and he leans closer to you, “and you’ll get it.”
His dirty and challenging tone sends shivers down your spine, something you find yourself liking a bit too much. The pit of your stomach yells at you at how hypocritical Drew was being right now, but you ignore it.
And just because it’s fun, you lean into his ear, and whisper, “best buddy ever.”
Tickles are sent to the side of your body, making you jump and melt into his arms. You laugh uncontrollably; Drew knew you were ticklish, using it to his full advantage.
“Stop! Stop!” You yell between laughter, your legs ready to give up.
“Don’t call me that then,” he stops tickling you, grip on you tight to make sure you don’t fall. He kisses the tears of laughter from the corner of your eyes, “I don’t like it.”
“Noted,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around his neck. You glance down at his lips, and he does the same to yours.
Drew gives you the look; he wants to kiss you.
And you let him, closing your eyes and feeling his lips against yours.
Is it still casual if you kissed me like it’s the last time you ever will? You hate how this thought appears in your mind again, haunting you.
You pull away, the pressure of it getting overwhelming. “Let’s head back, yeah?”
“We have to?” His eyes stay glued to your lips. “You know, We could…we could just leave.”
You furrow your eyebrows at him, “no!”
“Say you got plans tomorrow morning,” he shrugs, “I’ll say it for you, if you can’t-”
You cross your arms, looking up at him. “Why would I leave early?”
Drew parts his lips, and he brings his hand up to your elbow. He rubs the area there in soft circles, a playful look in his eyes, “…grab some froyo?”
You drop your arms, looking at him disappointedly. When he saw that, he hurriedly adds, “and I got errands to run. Really.”
You contemplate in your mind about this; ditching this dinner to hang out privately with Drew? Yeah, that sounded like something fun. It must be better than staying awkwardly, having your friends judge Drew.
Casual. Casual, casual, casual. Some casual froyo with Drew, and maybe ending up with sex in his dorm room.
Yeah. Seemed like things people whose ‘casual’ would do.
“Fine. You’re treating me though,” you unlock the door, walking out the bathroom.
“I always treat you,” you hear him murmur behind you, following closely behind as you two walk back to the table.
You interrupt the conversation they’re having, grabbing your purse from your seat. They look at your questionably, before their gaze lands sourly on Drew behind you. “i’ve got something, tomorrow morning, so we’re heading off,” you try sounding apologetic, “sorry to leave this early.”
“Oh, um, okay,” Lucy glances between the two of you, “text us when you get home.”
“Yeah, sorry,” you apologize again, before your friends wave goodbye to you. You don’t miss the hateful looks they leave on Drew, as they tell you to take care until the next time you guys meet.
After that, you and Drew leave the restaurant, letting the doorman do his job of getting a taxi.
A warmth around your hand catches you by surprise; Drew holds your hand, pulling you closer to him. You look down at the holding of hands; then back up at him. He’s staring down at his phone, scrolling through his insta feed.
Holding hands. Something very casual to do, apparently.
“What are you watching?” You ask, leaning on his shoulder.
He laughs, showing you the screen. It’s a video of a monkey pointing towards the glass, which has different play-doughs lined along it.
You don’t get the humor in it, but you smile, because it makes Drew smile.
The two of you stand there, watching different posts on his phone until the taxi arrives.
Your mind finds it strange how ‘casual’ you two are.
Because, in the bottom of your heart, you weren’t so sure if this was casual anymore. Along the way, the lines of ‘no attachment’ seemed to have blurred. Blurred to the point of no return.
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word count: 4.1k
ִ ࣪𖤐 a/n: goddamn, i would fall for this toxic relationship too T_T
sry for not posting lately, i got very busy lately! i promise you, flashing lights 6 & not a big deal pt4 is coming sooooon. but hope you enjoyed this extra, and also, thx for blowing up the halloween special, was NOT expecting that. thank you sm! your lovely comments inspire me to write these fics!
btw, watched obx s4, and the ending broke me T_T like tffff
#drew starkey#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey x reader#fiction#angst#drew starkey x you#fluff#smut#oneshot#situationships#light reading
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Periculum
Solivan Brugmansia X Reader
TW: implied drugging, manipulation
Word count: 1.4k
I can't be the only one wondering how on earth Sol is gonna explain himself on day 3 after the 8-point-required ending, that's why i decided what i think might happen!
BY THE WAY: i take request, so if anyone is interested, feel free to ask me :3
SPOILERS FOR TKATB DAY 1+2 REVAMPED
Periculum
(Noun) [Latin] Danger
Warm rays of sunlight graze your face as you slowly wake up, laying on your side.
What time is it? Why didn't your alarm go off?
You try to reach over to your bedside table but notice arms wrapped around your waist and someone spooning you, their chest pressed to your back snugly enough that you can faintly feel their heartbeat.
What the hell?
You feel panic rising up, an uncomfortable feeling settling in the pit of your stomach. The arms only tighten around you as soon as you try to break free from the grasp you currently find yourself in. Looking over your shoulder, you see none other than Sol, causing the feeling of panic to subside but one of confusion to settle in.
You sure as hell weren't cuddling yesterday evening. Wait, what happened yesterday evening anyways? You can't seem to recall, but you're pretty sure that you didn't go to bed with Sol.
In an attempt to wake him, you call out his name, but to no avail. You shake his arms that are still snaked around you, calling out to him yet again.
Sol's eyes flutter open and he looks at you with an adorning look in his eyes and a smile gracing his handsome face.
“Hey… good morning, [____]”
“Good…morning?” You ponder for a moment, before speaking up again.
“Sol, i really think we should get going, we still have classes today-”
His grip tightens at your inquiry, “Don't worry about it. You're probably still shaken up from what happened back at the arcade, right? Perhaps we should skip, how does that sound?”
He seems to snuggle even closer, signalizing that he would most likely not accept any answer other than accepting his request.
“Sol..” you sigh, aware that it wasn't a good idea. You need your studies, how else are you going to help your father? Even though, Sol might be right about one thing: You really are exhausted, but are yesterday's events at the arcade really the cause for that?
“We already skipped the last period yesterday, we can't skip again, especially not a whole day.”
You pry on his arms again and Sol eventually lets you go, although reluctantly. Sitting up and turning to face him, you decide to ask him one of the first questions that came to your mind after waking up, despite feeling a little uneasy about it.
“Hey… uhm, what happened yesterday evening?”
Sol raises his brow, looking up at you.
“You don't remember?”
His confused, almost disappointed, tone only serves to make you feel even queasier.
"No…? I mean, I remember that we were eating dinner but everything after that is… gone? I just can't seem to recall what we did afterwards…” You grow flustered. What the hell transpired between you two that apparently caused Sol and you to cuddle but you just can't seem to remember?
“You fell asleep.” Sol explains, “In the middle of the conversation at that. I was really worried about you, y'know? It was probably the exhaustion after what happened at the arcade finally settling in, which is understandable but also precisely the reason why I would like for you to rest a little.”
What? Never before have you fallen asleep just like that…but then again, you have never been attacked like that either…
Still, despite his comforting, caring tone you can't seem to shake off the feeling that something is wrong.
Before you could respond Sol continued, “I carried you to bed, I'd say that's a whole lot more comfortable than sleeping on a chair.” He chuckles, trying to ease the tension, since it doesn't slip past him how on edge you seem right about now.
“That… that was really nice but…it doesn't really explain why… um, you're sleeping next to me..” you can't help but mumble that last part, too flustered, almost embarrassed, by the predicament you currently find yourself in. You weren't the type to cuddle with just anyone, especially not with people you have known since a few days. The thought makes you uncomfortable, it's just not like you at all.
Sol chuckles a little, looking at you in awe with a blush of his own.
Oh how much he would like to tell you what happened, what he did, what he would do for you. How he knows that the two of you belong together, that you're his, even though you are yet to realize that.
“You were squirming and mumbling in your sleep the entire time, I thought you had a nightmare and quite frankly, I didn't want to leave you all alone after what transpired earlier on. You understand, don't you? I apologize if this made you uncomfortable, but if the roles were reversed, would you have left me alone, shaking like a leaf?”
No, you wouldn't have left him. Would you have cuddled him? You are not sure. Perhaps he only meant to stay with you for a few moments but accidentally fell asleep. That must be it, right?
You were too quiet for too long for Sol's liking. Did you hate him now? You can't hate him, you could never hate him, could you? The two of you were Soulmates, there is no way one could hate the other, is there?
“...[____]?”
You snap out of your thoughts, your gaze turning back to meet his vermillion eyes.
“Sorry, I just-” you bury your face in your hands, “You only meant well, didn't you? I probably caused you some trouble by having you feel obligated to stay here with me, that wasn't my intention. You need your studies as well and shouldn't miss them just for my sake.”
You really are horrible. How could you think that Sol potentially meant any harm? How could you feel so uneasy? How can you still feel a little queasy, despite him explaining what happened?
Is it because deep down you know that he is not telling you the entire truth?
“[____], you will never be a burden to me, please remember that. I will gladly miss my studies if it means I can be by your side.” Sol smiles gently and takes hold of your wrists, pulling them back and revealing your face to him.
“You really should rest, though. I'll be here, right by your side… If you let me.”
He wraps his bigger hands around yours. They're warm and still bruised from yesterday.
Sol did so much for you. He fought off 4 guys just to make sure they can't harm you and now he offers to miss his classes for your sake. He is sweet, sickly sweet, he doesn't seem to care about others as much as he cares about you. How can a single person grow on you this much in the span of two days?
It's surely because you are made for each other, two halves of a whole who finally found each other.
You nod slowly, leaning towards him to hug him tightly. A hug is the least you can give him after everything he has already done for you. Sol wraps his big strong arms around you, stroking the back of your head in a comforting manner.
Luckily, you can't see the wicked smile on Sol's face. He has you right where he wants you. With time you will grow more and more reliant on him, but worry not, for he will take care of you, he always will.
“Are you still tired?” You nod in response, properly laying down while still hugging him. “Sleep some more then. I'll be here when you wake up.”
It doesn't take long for you to fall asleep in his embrace, not caring about your prior discomfort caused by the very same action. Sol feels happy, truly happy, ecstatic even. You've known him for two days and yet you're almost putty in his hands, believing whatever he says, though, to be fair, why wouldn't you? He has no reason to lie to you, now does he? He only wants what's best for the two of you, after all.
Perhaps you are too trusting, but Sol will make sure to protect you from everyone who may take advantage of that.
…Though perhaps the only one you need to be protected from is Sol himself.
#solivan brugmansia#tkatb vn#tkatb#yandere#yandere visual novel#yandere vn#the kid at the back#the kid at the back vn#tkatb sol#sol#sol x reader#solivan x reader#tkatb x reader#tkatb fanfic#tkatb oneshot#the kid at the back oneshot#obsessive yandere#obsessive love oneshot#tkatb spoiler
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more me verbally processing my feelings on this game and it's story that i sent in discord but i know reading these things can be helpful to others processing so im sharing them here <3
even though i think i personally am able to find coherent meaning in solas's ending, specifically the status of the veil, and i do think its good and i like it, i really have to work to do it. the way its written is kind of confusing because the message is like ok. let go of your regrets. but you also have to atone for your mistakes. but solas believes he is atoning by taking the veil back down and bringing immortality back and making sure more spirits are not turned into demons? but the story tells us that version of atonement is Wrong, but why is it wrong? because people will die? but people also die because of the veil? mages are mass incarcerated and lobotimized bc of the veil, elves have been enslaved for millenia, PEOPLE AGE AND DIE, BECAUSE OF THE VEIL? so he isnt supposed to atone for that mistake by fixing it he's just supposed to accept it and let go? so are we supposed to atone for our mistakes or not? what determines whether or not we need to atone? he has to atone for what he did to the titans but not what he did by accident to his own people i guess? and he is going to atone by maintaining the status quo that he created because people have gotten used to it?
i think the answer based on the regret prison scene with rook escaping with varric's help and that banger line of varric's is to take accountability and own up to your choices, they are yours and no one can take them from you. rook says something to one of the regret statues (for me it was harding) thats like "i made a choice and so did you and you knew the risks" or something so i think that is the key. solas cannot accept his choices and so he is desperate to undo them no matter what kind of harm it may do. he is trapped in regret and the past to the point that he cant accept them and move forward, and varric is the perfect contrast of this with how readily he accepts his death as a consequence of his love and hope for his friend. even mythal accepts her own choices when she tells solas that she turned him from his purpose. and she doesnt apologize or even express regret at all, partly because shes a crazy bitch (affectionate) but partly because i think her quiet, cold acceptance is part of the lesson solas needs to learn in that moment. solas is constantly saying, "im sorry, but", "ir abelas, vhenan, but i cannot". mythal just states her actions plainly; i forced you to take a body, i brought you into war, these burdens are ours to bear together, i release you. no apology, no rumination, she is at peace with her decision even though it is wrong. i think this works wonderfully on a personal individual level of personal regrets. it is a good lesson; regret does not serve any purpose other than to hurt you. it brings no one back, it helps nothing, it does not make the world a better place. solas has to let go of his regrets so that he can become the hero that varric sees deep down in him. it is an essential part of his personal journey as a character... but it gets stickier when we are talking about systemic change. obvi a lot of dragon age's modern, young audience is very much in favor of "tear it all down!!" and i am too but i think with solas they are trying to tell a very personal and individual story of a man and his regrets rather than make a social commentary on radical change, but they also dont make that clear enough, so the two get muddied together when it comes to the question of the veil in a way that feels like they are advocating for maintaining the status quo, which i dont think was their intention.
i think this is so muddied because inquisition very much makes clear commentary on systems and institutions with the chantry, the orlesian empire, ferelden monarchy, mages and templars, and the inquisition itself being all vulnerable to corruption, and solas has a lot to say about all of this and he is very much presented as being right (like when he tells you about the corruption in your own ranks in trespasser and how hes spying on you lol) and then veilguard does not do this AT ALL, all of the issues are very personal ones of people and their identity, people and their family, people and their regrets etc. so i think a lot of us are in this mindset from inquisition of like.... yeah disrupt the status quo install a puppetmaster elf to rule an imperialist empire, make leliana pope and radicalize the chantry even if its bloody, dissolve the inquisition, abolish the circles etc. etc. and the question of the veil is very much an extension of these philosophical questions about systems and organizations. and for those of us who leaned towards dissolution of all of those corrupt structures, dissolution of the veil is the logical conclusion to a story thats sending us that message. but then veilguard just. does not even engage with these topics at all. like its not even a question. it takes the question of the veil and translates it into a personal issue of solas's psyche (which is super interesting, just different) and connects it to his past actions, his relationship with mythal, and his perception of himself, rather than a macro-level question of what is best for the world when pursuing change, and the answer for solas on a personal level ends up being different from the answer that inquisition was asking us, but it feels disjointed as a result.
so the veil staying up was the right decision because it forced solas to let go of his regrets and the game is about him. so it was an exercise in his therapy session with his two ex-gfs and some annoying kid who wont leave him alone. but the problem is it doesn't answer or engage with the greater questions and themes about systemic change that the series has been building up to.
veilguard is interesting because it wants to be dragon age 2 so bad while simultaneously being terrified of dragon age 2. solas bringing down the veil would have been the answer to the question that anders blowing up the chantry asked, but veilguard decided to ask a completely different question instead. and i think it did a good job in that specific goal, but it doesnt satisfy 15 years of build up and instead just throws it out the window in favor of something else.
#veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#da:v spoilers#datv spoilers#dav spoilers#mine.txt#i will never stop writing essays
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hiiii can I request gp!sophia x fem!reader with angst prompt 1 + smut prompt 10 where basically reader just had a huge fight with her ex bf and went to sophia bc she’s her best friend (that she’s also lowkey really attracted to) and sophia tries to cheer reader up (by fucking her) but she’s really sweet and fluffy during it🫶🏼
(sorry if this doesn’t make any sense but I hope you get what I mean😭english is not my first language💜)
bestie this is so good...you made perfect sense i understood completely 🫶 thank you so much for requesting!
— ALL I WANTED ⚓️
sophia laforteza (katseye) x fem!reader
summary: angst prompt 1("i didn't know where else to go") + smut prompt 10("don't worry, i'll take care of you") from my 100 follower event OR you have a big fight with your boyfriend and break up. going to your best friend sophia, things take a turn by how she "cheers you up"
warnings/tags: language, nsfw content, g!p!sophia, soft dom!sophia, sub!reader, soft sex, lots of praise, unprotected sex, cumming inside
you stood in front of the door of your best friend's apartment. your arms were folded in on yourself, practically hugging yourself as you waited for the door to open. it was cold outside, feeling the chill breeze as you wore merely a thin sweater and leggings. you glance away for a split second, and suddenly the door opens revealing sophia, whose expression quickly goes from happy to concerned at the sight of you.
"oh my god, are you okay?" she immediately questions. "here, come inside. you're probably freezing." she grabs your arm and pulls you inside, closing the door behind you.
"sorry for showing up like this," you apologize quietly as you look down at the ground. "i didn't know where else to go," your voice cracks as you say this.
sophia can instantly tell something is wrong. the first thing being you apologizing when she would never be upset with you for randomly showing up in the middle of the night. second being the way your eyes won't meet hers. and third, the crack in your voice.
"hey, hey," she says softly, placing her hands on your shoulders. "what's wrong? what happened?" her tone is so caring and genuine like she always is with you. she hates seeing you upset to the point of near crying, but she doesn't know how to help if she doesn't know what's wrong.
"it-it's just my boyfriend and i got in a huge fight...he broke up with me and basically kicked me out so...i came here," your voice is quiet as you speak, still not being able to meet her eyes.
sophia's eyes go wide for a second at your answer. but when you finally look at her, eyes filled with tears, her breath hitches in her throat. she can't lie and say she doesn't think this is a blessing in disguise given the fact she's been pining for you for years now, but couldn't do anything with that stupid boyfriend of yours around, cause she does think it. she knows you feel the same, at least she thinks it with the lingering stares you've been giving her more recently and the way you've talked to her lately. she tries to think quickly of what's the best option to do right now, too many different thoughts running through her head as she stares back at you. hesitantly, she moves her hands from your shoulders to cup your face in her hands, seeing the way your eyes subtly widen at her action and hoping she isn't fucking this up. "how about i help cheer you up?"
you're frozen in your spot as sophia asks you the question, and you're not sure how to respond. you don't have a complete understanding of what she's meaning, your mind going in a direction you assume would never happen ever no matter how much you wanted. "what do you mean by that?" you respond quietly.
"whatever you want it to mean," sophia answers in the same voice. "i'm here for anything you need or want."
those words are enough reassurance you need to finally say what you've been wanting to say for a while now. "kiss me," you whisper.
sophia tries to fight the smile that creeps on her face at your reply, but fails miserably as she leans in and closes the gap between you and her. she can taste the remainder of your lipgloss on your lips that you applied earlier in the day, sighing softly against your lips. your arms wrap around her neck, pulling her closer to you before parting from the kiss. your face is inches away from hers, and your fingers play with her hair as you stare into her eyes.
"you're a really good kisser," you murmur. "how were you planning on cheering me up?" you ask next.
"will you let me show you?" sophia responds. "let me take care of you like you deserve." her hands move to your waist, somehow managing to pull you even closer.
"please," you say in a quiet voice.
that's all sophia needs to hear before she's pulling you to her bedroom, kissing you continuously and almost tripping when she hits the bed. she swiftly picks you up and lays you down on the bed, crawling above you and peering down at you. her hands find the hem of your swearer and she looks at you, silently asking for your permission to remove it. you nod your head, and she slowly pulls it up over your head, leaving you in your bra and leggings.
"you're so beautiful," sophia murmurs, her hands drifting up and down your torso. they stop at the waistband of your leggings, her fingers hooking around it and lightly tugging them down your legs and off along with your panties. "you have no idea how much i've wanted this," she says, her eyes wandering over your body, her cock throbbing in her boxers at the sight of you in front of her. she quickly discards her shirt and shorts, leaving her in her boxers that had a wet spot from the precum leaking from her tip. she brings a hand between your legs, fingers dragging along your folds before slowly slipping two into your wet heat.
"s-sophia," you whimper out when she slowly thrusts her fingers in and out of you.
your walls suck her fingers in greedily, making her only want you more as she pulls her fingers out after a few seconds, needing to feel you around her cock. she strips off her boxers, her cock springing out, the head red and dripping beads of precum. supporting herself up with one of her arms near your head, the other holds the base of her length, sliding up and down your dripping pussy, collecting your slick on her tip. "don't worry, i'll take care of you," she tells you softly. "are you ready?"
you nod your head, whimpering at the feeling of her rubbing against you. "yes- please i need you so bad," your voice comes out whinier than you wanted, but you can't find it in you to care seeing the way sophia's eyes darken at your words.
slowly, she pushes inside of you, watching the way your eyes roll back at the size of her filling you up. sophia curses under her breath at your walls squeezing around her tightly, stopping once she was fully in you. "you tell me when you want me to move, okay?" she presses a quick kiss on your lips.
your jaw falls open as you feel her stretching you out, a quiet whimper coming from you when she stops. you nod again at her words, taking a few shallow breaths before speaking. "y-you can move now."
inch by inch, sophia pulls out before sliding back in, the wetness of your pussy making it oh so easy for her to build a slow pace. "you're so pretty," she says, leaning down and kissing you. "god, you're so tight," she hisses against your lips.
quiet moans fall from your lips as she sets a slow pace, almost embarrassed of getting too loud, whimpering at her words as she kisses you. your arms hook around her neck, pulling her closer. parting from the kiss, you breathe heavily as you stare up at her, biting down on your lower lip to try and keep quiet.
sophia's eyes don't leave yours once, keeping eye contact while maintaining her slow pace. she didn't want to get rough with you in your current state, she was happy enough for this to be happening in general. plus, she seriously doubted your dumbass boyfriend gave a fuck about whether you actually came or not. so she was going to make sure you would. "don't be shy, princess," she pushes some of your hair out of your face. "let me hear you, my love. i wanna hear the pretty noises you make."
your face heats up at the realization that she wants to hear you, finally letting go of your lip from your teeth and freely moaning like she wanted. "sh-shit sophia," you whine her name. you're surprised at how slow and gentle the girl above you is being, as if she was worried she would hurt you when you know she would never even think of hurting you once. but, it was nice. she was right, she was making you feel the way you deserved.
hearing her name coming from you in that whiny tone has sophia's cock twitching in you, letting out quiet grunts with her gaze still on you. "how does it feel, baby?" she asks you, genuine. she needs to know she's making you feel good, she needs to hear you say it. she doesn't know how she's keeping up this slow, almost agonizing pace, but seeing your reactions each time she slowly pushes back in is enough for her to keep at it. "tell me how it feels."
"g-good," you manage out through moans. "it fe-feels so g-good- fuck- you're making m-me feel so good," you emphasize on 'you're' so that she knows that she's the only one on your mind. it was true, you couldn't even think about anything else except for the way she feels like this. you didn't even remember why you came here, and you didn't care, either.
"fuck," sophia breathes out at your response. she can tell you've long forgotten why you originally came to her place, and that mixed with you emphasizing that she's the one making you feel this good has her swelling with pride. "you're so beautiful like this. i love you so so much," she mumbles, not realizing the way her words could sound to you.
you can barely process her words, only hearing the 'i love you', and that alone has you clenching tightly around her cock, somehow getting even wetter than you already were. "i lo-love you too- o-oh my god!" your eyes roll back when you feel her tip nudge against your g-spot. "fu-fuck!" you feel tears welling in your eyes as you feel yourself getting closer to cumming.
seeing the tears in your eyes has sophia cooing at you, cupping your cheek with one of her hands and wiping the stray tear that falls. "shh, you're close, yeah?" she says quietly. she slowly speeds up her thrusts just a little bit, pushing so deep into you that she can practically see the outline of her cock bulging from your stomach making her twitch again. "i'm close too- shit!- tel-tell me where you want me," her words are starting to get interrupted by little whimpers escaping her throat as she feels herself get closer.
you nod your head quickly at her question, murmuring out, "ye-yes," through your noises that are getting louder and whinier. her next words have your head spinning to come up with a response. staring up into her eyes as she stares down at you, you know the answer you're going to give. "i-in me, please, i'm o-on the pill, please cum in me, please," you're begging for her in a way that would be embarrassing to you in any other moment, but you can't find it in you to care.
sophia's eyes go wide when you tell her what you want, but she isn't going to deny your requests in any shape or form. "don't worry, my love," she tells you before kissing you, moaning into the kiss and speeding up just a little bit more.
whining her name as she kisses you, you pull her down impossibly closer to you, your bodies practically pressed against each other. your legs wrap around her hips, bringing her even closer to you. pulling out of the kiss, you rest your forehead against hers, looking deeply into her eyes as short breaths and moans of her name leave your mouth. "f-fuck, sophia 'm so close,"
"go on," she pecks your lips quickly. "cum for me, my pretty girl. so pretty for me like this, god," she groans quietly.
after one final thrust, your eyes roll into the back of your head as you cum so hard you end up seeing white, your hands clawing at her back. not even a minute later, sophia is putting her face in your neck and letting out a long drawn-out whine as spurts of her cum fill you up to the brim. she stays there for a moment or two, breathing heavily into your neck before slowly pulling out of you. a whimper falls from your lips at the feeling, your arms still hooked around her neck and holding her close to you.
"do you...really love me in this way?" you whisper quietly.
sophia pulls her face from your neck at your hesitant question, looking down at you and nodding her head. "of course. i just didn't want to do anything while you were with him," she answers truthfully.
you nod slowly, clearly hesitating about asking the next question you were thinking of. "do you want...to be with me?"
there's a look in sophia's eyes that you can't figure out, as if she's struggling with a response. "yes," she says in a quiet voice.
"then i'm yours," you smile at her, moving your hands to cup her cheeks. "i love you."
sophia's face instantly lights up when you speak, a wide smile tugging on her lips. "i love you too, so much."
#katseye x reader#katseye scenarios#katseye imagines#sophia laforteza x reader#sophia x reader#sophia imagine#sophia scenarios#request#100 follower event#nsfw.
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List of "normal" things that always baffled me as a person on the aro/ace spectrum:
Disclaimer: A lot of this is based on the feelings and perception of my teenage self when I started to feel people around me were weird but didn't have the language or concept yet to understand what was wrong. So, give me a break if it sounds edgy sometimes. I don’t have the energy to sugarcoat every statement so it doesn’t offend anyone. If you're part of the mainstream and feel attacked by a random dude on the internet questioning things you find "normal," maybe ask yourself why you’re upset instead of coming for me.
1. "Love at first sight."
Even as a kid, this felt like a scam. I get friendship, and I can imagine love developing out of it. But for that, you need to know the person. You can't know someone instantly. So how on earth is this supposed to work? (The answer is, most ppl can feel sexual attraction instantaneously and it gets sold as love for the kids.)
2. Finding someone "attractive" = you’d like to fuck them.
I honestly was like 20something when I realized that actually yes, when ppl talk about someone, even celebs, being "attractive," they do mean they’d like to have sex with them and not just compliment them on their looks.
Like, I can honestly say that many of my friends, Cate Blanchett, and Hugh Jackman are "attractive." But to me, that’s like talking about a painting. Like, sure, Singer Sargent's Madame X is "attractive," but no one's trying to, uh, get it on with the painting… right?
3. The whole concept of dating (to find a romantic partner.)
So, you’re telling me people meet up specifically to see if they might develop feelings for each other when they don't have those feelings yet?
Like, what even makes you say yes to a date if you don't know a person at all? (The answer is: once again, sexual attraction, obviously.)
On the other hand, if you’re already friends with someone and just wanna see where it goes, why bring the flowers and fancy dinners into the equation?
4. Why people (especially women) would even risk sex back when it could have had major consequences for them
The list includes (but isn’t limited to):
Women before reliable contraception in societies where an unplanned pregnancy could be socially catastrophic;
Brothel visitors once STDs were known;
(Here’s the tricky one bc I myself kinda feel guilty for not being empathetic enough) gay people, especially men, in times and places where they could literally be imprisoned or executed for having sex
I need to be very clear here, this isn’t about moral superiority as I'm not feeling any, it’s about survival. Like, if sex could legit mess up your life, why not just… not do it?
Yeah it's basically rip to “fallen” women but I’m different.
5. The culture of one-night stands, cruising, club hookups, etc.
This is still a bit uncomfortable in my head because this is a very prominent part of gay culture specifically, and I’ve always felt incredibly disconnected from it. But I can't edit it out.
Okay, so someone’s hot. I can maybe get that there’s a spark. But if you don’t know them… what if they open their mouth mid-action and reveal they voted for trump? Instant deal-breaker, my genitals are shriveling in terror.
6. The need to have a partner / actively searching for one.
I give it to you, if you vibe with someone, getting into a relationship may make sense. But actually, putting in effort to find one? For what? There’s so much other cool stuff in life!
7. "I haven’t had sex in five minutes/a month/half a year 😱😭" / jokes about dry spells.
Do you actually keep track of the timelines? So what if you haven’t? I get it, orgasm is great and all, but your hand still works, right? Why do you need another person for that?
8. Imagining yourself in place of a person/character in sex scenes.
This mostly applies to fanfics but also “regular” porn. Even if the scene is hot, I don’t picture myself as any of the characters involved. Even if I'm aroused, I like it precisely for the characters in a specific scenario, I would only be a third wheel there.
9. Sexual fantasies with yourself as a participant.
I really don't want to imagine myself in any sexual scenarios, neither with fictional characters nor with real people, even if I might have a crush on them.
10. Cheating in relationships/marriage.
I’m not even talking about the moral aspect of breaking trust/violating the negotiated agreements; it’s the fact that someone "just couldn’t help themselves," “accidentally” had sex. Like, you’re willing to break an agreement, feel all the guilt, and go all secret agent-level to hide the thing because you… what, couldn’t keep it in your pants?
11. Extreme jealousy over sex.
Alongside the last point, I don’t really get why people make such a big deal about someone sleeping with someone else. Sure, it’s not cool to break agreements, and it’s a valid reason to re-evaluate the relationship. But just because they hooked up with someone else? Why is it such a dramatic deal?
(Spoiler alert: I’ve grown up to be poly now, who’s surprised xD)
12. The sexualization of women in media, ads, and the outrage from cishet guys about female characters wearing realistic armor instead of metal bikinis in their games now.
What do you mean, people actually like this and it works on them? Do people actually appreciate having half-naked women in their media? Seriously?
13. The priority of romantic relationships over friendships and every other kind of relationship.
From "got a partner, disappeared for two months from their friend group" to the whole idea that romance is inherently more "serious" or "important" than friendship. Why? Who made that a rule?
Okay, that’s it off the top of my head. Might add something later.
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To every person who told me when I stated i was concerned about the rise of antisemetism and concern for my jewish friends that i shouldnt be? Fuck you, like, that hurts to say because i considered at least one of those people an ex old friend who i cared deeply for, but fuck you, i said this when jewish people were already being raped and attacked months ago in a rise of antisemetic hate crimes that this was concerning me and you told me i was focusing on the wrong issue.
Now there are pogroms, people have to be told to hide their jewish identity to not risk being killed or worse. So many people have been hurt and attacked, there are mobs, so many horrible things have happened but no, apparently never again meant "never again will I care after this" for most people, not me, never me. I fucking meant it as never again means never again.
So now I ask, is it still the "wrong issue", am i still focusing on the "not important part" because i give a shit that people are being brutalized for something they had no say in? Is it "not worth my attention" that people are being beaten and chased with knives by more then 50 people? Is it unimportant that hundreds of people are stuck indoors hoping desperately to be okay and for their family/friends to be okay as the progrom continues for horrors?
Because I don't actually care what your answer is, because I will continue to care, and I will continue to be loud, and i will not give up on people who have done nothing wrong but apparently be born. I can't do much I admit, I wish there was more I could do. However, I can say this, that my goy ass stands firm on Never Again Means Never Again, and that I will defend the rights for jewish folks to live a life of peace that never should have been up for question.
I will not wait for permission or even consider pretending that real lives are some fucking soccer match where i can only focus or care about one team where only one team can win. No, the only true way to peace, to change, to humanity, is hand in hand. Anyone who tells you otherwise, is trying to sell you something, and that something is never good.
(Also because I hear the term being thrown around a lot but i had to look into myself what it even was actually because i realized I didnt even fully know beyond "another violent bad thing", a progrom is "a violent riot incited with the aim of massacring or expelling an ethnic or religious group, particularly Jews.")
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Eye's never lie.
Gabriel T Rorke x female! Reader
Thomas Merrick x Reader (one sided)
This is nsfw btw and hella naughty but I’m really proud of it! Please enjoy!(>w<) a HUDE thank you to my Appalachia biter for not only helping with the idea but supporting me though it. @gunnrblze @howtotwirlaknife22 @milkteaarttime
——————
Thomas Merrick revealed in the fact that he was good at what he did. However, he wasn't the best. His Captain was an everyday reminder of that. No matter how hard he trained, he could never put the bastard in his place. No, Rorke always bested him; faster, bigger, stronger. It made the young Sergeant furious when Rorke took all of his hard work and destroyed it.
One minute and seven seconds. That was the longest sparing session they ever had. And even if Elias was impressed at how long he lasted against the older man, rorke would laugh at him. Mocking everything he did wrong and pushing his temper to the brink. The bell of the training center door opened, turning both their heads. Or so Merrick thought.
His Captain's wife had come in and cast sunshine into the storm in his brain. It wasn't the first time this happened, and he was filled with the warmth you directed towards your husband. He never understood it; why someone like you would be with such an asshole. Politely smiling at merrick while making your way over to your husband. Setting your happiness on the man he couldn't help but hate was hard to watch. Forcefully removing his eyes from your plump curves, Merrick mistakenly locked eyes with his Captain again. Fuck.
Gabriel had still been eyeing his Sergeant down with borderline sadistic pleasure while he tucked you into his sweaty side. Only looking away when you jabbed at your husband, letting out a whine from feeling the sweat on his skin. The smirk on Gabriel's face when they had locked eyes made Merrick's heart drop to his ass. Forgetting himself, he let his eyes roam across your body in front of your husband. His Captain.
A rookie mistake if you'd ask Rorke. Something to add to the list of things Rorke had against him: getting caught checking out your C.O.'s woman, nice one, Thomas. Merrick held back the urge to say 'fuck it' and just leave. But he didn't want to get in more trouble than he was already undoubtedly in. The heat pouring out of Merricks body made it impossible to stay still. Shifting his weight from one side to the other only did so much when he was angrily shaking, watching Rorke lean down and whisper something in your ear. Merrick knew the small smile you unconditionally had was because Rorke's breath ticked your ear, not because of what he was saying. There was confusion in your eyes when you glanced at Merrick and then returned to your husband.
You gave Rorke a nod, and there was a slight question to it, but Rorke gave no answer. Rorkes sharp gaze targeted his Sargents once more, not looking away from his prey like a predator watching his dinner. Rorke barked out to Lieutenant Walker that he was dismissed. Waiting for the lecture to start, Merrick tried swallowing the lump in his throat, but it was like trying to gulp down a rock. Holding his breath was easier. At least he had trained for that.
"Congratulations, you've just earned another lesson, Sergeant!"
His Captain's words held a sinister intent laced to them. This couldn't be good. Rorkes 'lessons' never were. Following his Captain in the direction that his wife ran off sealed Merrick's fate.
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Torture would be the perfect word to describe it. Rorke led Merrick back to his office. Not even bothering to hide the devilish smirk plastered on his face, Rorke opened the door for his Sergeant and gave him a firm order.
"Sit in the chair and don't move."
As his Captain's words were law, Merrick followed them without wasting a second. Only to stop like a deer in headlights when turning into the office, he saw skin. A lot of skin. What the-?
"Is there a problem, Sergeant?"
Shutting the door behind them, Rorke came behind the wide-eyed younger man, looking over his shoulder with inches to spare. Flushed and covered in goosebumps, Merrick's wide eyes reflected in yours. He would notice that he was staring only if he could focus on those pretty eyes. Rorke went around Merrick, knocking his shoulder against the young man's, jolting him out of his little trance. Heavy steps took Gabriel towards the very... naked woman. Taking your attention off the man with his jaw on the floor, you looked up with big eyes at the larger man. He let his rough hands delicate, making their way up your shins to the back of your knee, yanking you forward with a gasp. Hands immediately went to Rorke's shoulders for stability, gripping with embarrassment that showed itself on your cheeks.
You gave Gabriel your devoted attention, ignoring Thomas's prying gaze for now. Your husband liked his office cold, but the embarrassment struck you, and having more than one pair of eyes on you made your skin burn. One of Gabriel's hands handled your jaw with authority. His eyes give you a silent command to behave or else.
Out of the corner of your vision, you see the young Sergeant shaking in his boots, clenching his fists for dear life as Gabriel guides your mouth to his, claiming it with his own. All thoughts left the young man's mind as he couldn't take his eyes away from the flushed flesh of another's woman. Breathing was uneven and heavy between the pair in front of him, a sharp contrast of his own that he was spending far too much time trying to make even and deep in his lungs to help calm his racing heart. It was a challenging task to focus on the way your skin bounced and pulled with his Captain's hands running all over you, squeezing and tweaking your perky nipples. Causing the woman to bend into the man towering over her, moaning into his mouth without care of the audience.
"I gave you an order, Merrick."
Rorke said, pulling back, not taking his eyes away from you, wanting to see the desperation of you chasing after him. A haze had come over you, and the cold air of the office now made you sweat. Anger suddenly was at the forefront of Merricks mind, once again Rorke was pushing him. But he held it together, and thankfully, without tripping, he made his way to the chair. It was a lot closer to the desk than he had considered all those times when he dropped off reports or got lectured by the old man. Careful to not spread his legs so far, he didn’t want to hit the soft flesh that anchored itself around Rorke's waist but just far enough to make room for the heat growing in his pants.
Rorke took an easy swing at your ass. The loud smack made Merrick jump in his seat, his hands gripping the rough fabric, trying to focus on anything else. Picking you up quickly, barely flexing the bicep that previously had Merrick in a chokehold pinned to the ground in training. He brought you over to the side of the wooden desk, setting you on your feet. Your husband turned you by your hips, pulling you back with a hand on your neck, bringing a gasp out of you. Your chest was pushed out from the angle you were contorted in, pushing a gasp from your lungs. Seeing you on display made Merrick's mind go haywire. Wanting to respect you but this was also confirming the fantasies that toyed with him on lonely nights. You were gorgeous. He thought it was cruel of your husband to make you do this, but the way you were letting Rorke do it as he pleased with you told him exactly what you wanted.
Rorke took his sharp teeth to your neck, biting and sucking delicate skin roughly. He took his hand that gripped your hips and fumbled with his belt buckle. The extra strap of his gun holster was pushed down so that there was enough room for him to slip out of his tactical pants. Usually, Rorke is one to take his time with you, but it was a little out of the ordinary for him to be so impatient. Merrick didn't blame his Captain, though, thinking back to when he had first stepped foot in the room. How long had you been waiting in anticipation? Did you know Rorke was going to bring him with him? How long had you been wet just thinking about the two men coming in? Did your pussy get wetter when you saw Merrick coming in with him?
The thought brought a rush of blood to his dick. It made it so painful trying not to move. Not wanting to give Rorke the satisfaction of watching him squirm. A high-pitched moan that came from you cut through Merricks thoughts and brought him out of his head. Rorke's hips made sharp movements up, pulling back as far as he could without pulling out of your wet pussy. With every thrust, a squelch mixed in with the moaning coming from you. Deep groaning from his Captain that had his face buried in your neck from how tight you were around him.
A few quick movements and Rorke had pushed you onto the desk. Raking his hand through your hair, he kept a grip, angling you to be face-to-face with his younger Sergeant. Merrick let out a shallow breath, unable to escape the intensity of your eyes as they rolled back. Thrusting hard making a loud slapping sound off his his against the fat of your ass. Your husband might have been the one fucking you, but your eyes were begging Merrick to go harder. 
The fast pace fucking and the intensity of the situation you were placed in made your pussy tighten, sucking Gabriel in greedily.
“Fuck sweetheart- you’re dripping on the floor! Ya, like his eyes on you- giving you attention? What do ya say? Should he clean it up? Lick your sweet honey off the floor?! Ha! I think so.”
Your voice got louder in Merricks's face, unable to focus on anything; you yelled out a ‘yessss!’ in response to your husband's quick speech. Hearing you yell out for him made Merrick finally buck his hips up cumming with you. Spilling himself in his pants, he rolls his eyes back. He couldn’t stop; the more he cums, the wet sticky friction gave his sensitive skin a delicious burn.
Rorke pulled out of you, letting the puddle underneath his wife get slightly more prominent. Smirking at that and pulling your cheeks apart to watch your juices fall from you, he gave a hard smack to your ass. Earning him another loud moan for you. Pulling you up and taking him in your arms, holding you up, and keeping you close to him. He steps back slightly, leaning against the wall behind him, letting you catch your breath, lightly moaning into his with every movement. Merrick audibly gulped as he watched Rorke take you in his arms, gently rubbing your hips, trying to soothe the ache.
“We’re not done here, Sergeant. On your knees, you were given an order. I suggest you follow it.”
Merrick was shaking in his seat when Rorkes locked onto him with venom in his eyes. He kept eye contact while he sank off the chair and onto his knees. Only looked away when his hands touched the ground to lean down. He almost felt nauseous with the sick power his Captain held over him. Gasping out when he felt a heavy boot on the back of his neck pushing him down. Stopping right before his nose hit the floor. The force alone would have broken it.
“You don’t have all day, Merrick.”
Rorke could feel the Sergeant's heart pounding through his boot as he watched him lick the wood flooring clean. The smell alone made him was making him hard and aching again, but the taste… it was bringing him closer to heaven than he had ever got before. A heavy feeling of pride and possession weighed on Rorke, making his boot heavier. That satisfaction of training his Sergeant into an obedient mutt was enough to leave a sinister feeling in his gut…
“I knew you could follow orders without lip.”
The deep laughter that followed Rorke's words made Merricks's heart drop. Once again, it was Rorke putting him in his place. Again, Rorke bent down only slightly, grabbing ahold of Merricks' collar and dragging him up to his feet. Being face-to-face with Gabriel Rorke was always intimidating. He was a powerful force that could break the strongest of men.
“If I ever catch you looking at what’s mine again, I will gut you. Is that understood, Sergeant?”
“…yes sir…”
.
.
.
#call of duty ghosts#cod ghosts#call of duty ghosts rorke#gabriel t rorke#gabriel rorke x reader#Gabriel t Rorke x reader#call of duty thomas merrick#merrick ghosts#cod ghosts merrick#thomas merrick x reader#merrick x reader
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How did you start your political life or more specifically, how did you learn about communism and made it part of your life? I'd love to learn more about communism and how I could help the world and people but I feel like I'm too stupid for that and I just generally don't know where to start, especially since I'm afraid even socialism will fail and hurt people more than help. Sorry for this message but thanks in advance if you decide to answer!
Around the time I began to come out of a year-long+ depressive period, I began to seriously "get into" politics. I suspect one of the reasons which triggered such a long and severe depressive period was the beginnings of a political consciousness, I intuited something was wrong with the world in a fundamental way, especially the education system, but did not have any knowledge or will to get at that more concretely. I did latch on a lot to that "don't go to school" viral video, especially the part about how it hadn't fundamentally changed since the industrial revolution.
The first thing I found after I stopped wanting to kill myself so constantly was anarchism, actually, and specifically vaush videos. I know. but I did start reading some things, like the conquest of bread, and some more "competent" political theory content than vaush, I did really like the idea of market socialism and coops. To my credit, I also encountered georgism and even I could tell it was pretty stupid. Anyhow, I never really was convinced on anarchism, on a fundamental level. I knew the talking points, the common arguments, that jazz, but it was more a superficial belief rather than a core one. After like 6 months of this I decided to contact the party I am now, I had encountered them a couple months earlier but kinda chickened out. The will to do something more than watch vaush and be opinionated about US politics eventually prevailed and I contacted the party, and they were very patient in actually educating me, giving me some responsibility, and in the years since then I've continued to be educated in practice and theory. Generally I'm glad by trajectory wasn't like some other young people in my position that I encountered, who went from fascist to right-libertarian to US democrat in a matter of months, those people wear their lack of principles like a badge of honor.
Anyway, about your other questions, there is no such thing as being too dumb for communism, it's rather a question of a will to learn and a decent enough offline organization with which to apply some principles to your context. Theory is extremely deep, for sure, but there is no minimum theory requirement to start to get organized. This perception exists because often, the only communists who organize as such explicitly are, frankly put, massive nerds, and it gives off the impression that you need to have read all the basics before doing anything. That isn't true.
I get your concern about hurting people, I think it's a legitimate doubt to have, and one that can only really be resolved with an actual 1-1 conversation and not this format, but succinctly, I'd tell you that already, millions of people suffer and thousands die every day from causes related to the oppression intertwined with the capitalist mode of production, especially imperialism. It has killed throughout history exponentially more people than any army could ever do, even the most genocidal and cruel army you could imagine. Isn't the opportunity to end all of this worth the risk of failing? The capitalist class will oppress our organization regardless of what we do, a failed uprising is more of an excuse to clamp down on our class, and less of a cause in itself.
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Cute little date pic from their first trip to the pumpkin patch.
#i'm back with more cursed photoshop#listen i would say i'm sorry but i'm definitely NOT sorry#to answer your question there are a LOT of things wrong with me#like minds#nigel colbie#alex forbes#tom sturridge#eddie redmayne#murderous intent#like minds 2006#murder boyfriends#nigel colbie x alex forbes
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this tweet (https://x.com/littlefaiths/status/1817775320918847691?s=46&t=L7Z7tpqXDaxqrMiLS0ZuBA) made me think about the different way mulder & scully communicate/express themselves. like i say all the time i love when they speak each other's language, and i mean that in a lot of ways. but how do you think about their communication styles? the way the express feelings & thoughts etc. (and the way they understand each other "despite" their differences)
this is the tweet: "people read the pillow talk scene in plus one in such constant bad faith but it’s truly one of my favorite scenes ever...i think sometimes people want vulnerability/exposure from scully but are completely uncomfortable with the ways that her character textually expresses herself"
and i said that because i think people can fall into a lot of traps with scully, viewing her character in a larger context and obsessing over what every piece of dialogue or blocking Says about the Author and about Society and about Women (which to be clear isn't isolated to this character, this is a widespread way of thinking) which can bypass what is being said about her in a literal sense...trish, you and me talked about this recently, how we wouldn't want our every move and breath to be dissected based on what it means to feminism or what the implications of our decisions are. and as a writer, i wouldn't want my work to be broken into pieces like that either.
and so i find that there is a lot of projection and judgment in reading any particular scene, and not a lot of curiosity. which is a longwinded, overly-problematic, unnecessary way of saying that scully is a loser babes! she is an extremely lame person! you don't have to throw around words like "fertile" and all this fiery rhetoric to discard and disregard every single scene.
to what i was saying last night: people want vulnerability and exposure from scully. they are completely uncomfortable with the way that she expresses that. if she wants to sneak into her baby daddy's bed years after leaving him and mope that maybe he doesn't 🥺 like her anymore, that's her. same woman that showed up with wine and cheese and got ditched for monster hunts. same woman who begged to autopsy a mutant sewer worm to maybe spend 5 minutes with him.
same woman who at 13 stole her mother's cigarettes; not because she wanted to smoke, but because she knew her father would care.
(same woman who, after her father died, believed in a psychic and looked up at her partner to say "i thought that you would be pleased.")
to address your question, i don't think they do speak the same language. i think they speak each other's language, most of the time. sometimes they don't. sometimes they get hurt feelings. sometimes they get ditched (with wine and cheese, or fresh tattoo ink). they're learning, though, and they're learning themselves too. by the time she knows to creep into his hotel room and ask, he knows to say "i'll always be around." she knows to walk out and go buy her own dinner, if he can't focus. he knows to sit still and stay in and let her make weird jello.
that's learned. that's maturity. that's twenty-five years. of picking up, and putting down, which more than anything is what i view scully's way of communication as. she spends her career traversing any length, and her life venturing out just a little.
#FYI i know that i'm not disagreeing with you here and that this is all what you meant. i couldn't figure out how to phrase it in a way that#emphasized that#also i didn't really answer your question because this got AWAY from me but i want to go into it more at some point#i have talked about this before but scully wants attention so bad it MORTIFIES her#and i think it mortifies a lot of you but there's nothing wrong with her desires#one last thing but my most favoritest piece of scully's development is the way her reactions to being seen soften#thinking specifically of 'plus one' and how she turns to smile at him#and how she used to duck and cry and go speechless
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I think part of the reason people struggle with act 3 (other than the actual computer load) is because act 3 is very much Durge's act, so if you're not playing as Durge you miss a lot of the impetus to act. Seeking out Orin isn't just tracking down the macguffin, it's finding your old home and position, your sister and usurper all in one. Rivington isn't just an entryway to Baldur’s Gate and a review of the refugee crisis, it's the site of a major revelation about what you are, and Orin's taunts are gloats about what she did to you. The meeting with Gortash isn't just for plot, it's a dark mirror homecoming where you can't remember the home you're coming back to and where you learn exactly what sort of person you used to be and just how much of this situation is your fault. Act 3 is packed with thematic and emotional resonances for Durge, and full of people and locations that will help elucidate Durge's past. That's part of why Orin falls so flat on a Tav (or other origin) run - so much of her story is tied up with Durge's.
I'm not saying that act 3 isn't massive (it is) or that it doesn't drag at all when you're playing Durge (it does), but I think it drags significantly less and feels significantly less disconnected than it does for Tav. I think when the decision to split Tav and Durge was made Larian probably should have reviewed what the third act of the game would feel like from a non-involved character's point of view and made more changes to help better tie them to the main plot. Orin, for example, absolutely could have used way more development generally but especially on a Tav run the game really needed to give the character more connection to her. Her abducting a companion was likely an attempt at that, but there was nothing you could do about it and no time limit on rescuing them so it fell pretty flat.
#dark urge#bg3#Look this is entirely my own opinion and I could be completely wrong#But half the fun of act 3 for me was trying to piece together exactly who and what I was and corroborate things other people had told me#Idk you just come out of act 2 and it is so so clear that there is something WRONG with you but you don't know for sure what yet#And then act 3 comes out swinging with so many different answers to that question#Rivington probably needed some trimming though - the stuff to space ratio wasn't quite right I think#It's just in helsik who knows you and the notes that mention you and the whole Orin subplot that's about you#It's learning about gortash when he's your old buddy and you know that you condoned all of this#It's the book in your old bedroom talking about your first heist with gortash#Idk if I explained it we'll but a lot of the draw seems to come from your personal connection to events and without that it isn't nearly#As strong of a pull through the act
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Imagine a world where people actually fucking listened to me.
#personal#work shenanigans#daisy rages#i am so deeply dedicated to communicating clearly and thoroughly#(not out of ego i swear; but out of responsibility I feel)#that when people respond and it's obvious they didn't comprehend my initial communication#it actually makes me doubt myself deeply#like....did i not make things clear enough? What did I do wrong? How can I change my communication style to make it more clear?#and there is a lot of rage mixed in there#like...do you just not respect me at all?#do you not see the value in reading the information i gave to you?#do you just not care enough to read everything?#is your time so much more valuable than mine that you shouldn't be expected to read and analyze?#I am trying to SAVE time here#i am trying to give you all the information and answer questions pre-emptively so we don't need to go back and forth#if you just fucking READ what I asked initially it would make all of this easier
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The multiple miki thing might be because Miki could've been based on Charizard M and that thing is known for cloning itself.
Tbh i cant fault shadowmalerenamon for completely changing doors open when rewriting it. Having missingno be the main antagonist was miles better than how Steve was in the original.
( mention of suicide ig )
i respectfully disagree . i see where you're coming from but i think all of the rewritten strangled... duology i guess bc strangled red itself never got one
( thank fucking god to be honest. it needs No change. although at the same time its kind of funny it never got one bc its the most popular one and going more into him as a Person if smr didnt fuck it up would be nice ... but im too attached to my own interp based off of his canon implications to care about what smr kind of has to give. and he already did that in og strangled red, to a degree, although it focuses on the tragedy there is character stuff to be extrapolated from the implications of the story if youre very deeply ill. like me. )
- is a lot less character-focused, at least on steven specifically, and is focused on explaining or rewriting shit that never needed to be explained or rewritten. it is a revisit and reinterpretation of the story, that to me, is just purely kind of . Not good or fun to read. and the new shit it introduces is fucking stupid imo. steven being banished by the town instead of... fucking. killing himself ( especially specifically by cop. that's lame and way more boring + FUCK THE POLICE !!! + It feels out of character for steven he would just do it himself like actually. Also yk. hanging yourself is narratively thematic and ironic. ) or whatever goes so much harder .
guy who loves his town and home region and wanting to be a role model and wanting to be cool so badly being driven mad and then the entirety of kanto, his homeland, forsaking him and walling him off goes crazy . Also because it implies they're scared of him to some degree which also makes me go crazy as an implication.
[ more put below bc i love to fucking yap about strangled red and how much i dont like the rewrites ]
i Will not step down from 'the rewrites arent good' . Doors open is mostly bad because stevens characterization is garbage. even though its random and from left field ( why the fuck is he in sprout tower ) it couldve been handled well if it was written better characterization-wise.
also i supposed the 'M charizard makes sense. not. not really i don't actually think smr thought that through. if he did, which he couldve because she is named #'M# in Strangled Red, cool, but i still think it's just to make the "miki" name thing with 4 party members he has. which is cool admittedly. it's just that i hope it is never explained why he has 4. and it never has since, doors open rewrite didnt do anything with that thank god.
and bc he wouldnt have any other mon other than miki post-incident and afaik that thing only replaces existing partymembers, and steven canonically releases all his team in SR + pokemon avoid him. but yea. Doors open i treat as a 'spinoff' in a sense bc nothing from it really makes sense when properly thought through, and its basically there to make the lost silver crossover i feel. also, yk, he literally says "Never." in strangled red when you press switch on 'M / missingno/revived/whatever you want to call miki post revival. its kind of out of character for canon-compliant steven to have anything other than miki post-incident for these 3 reasons - i only made a team for him post incident bc im autistic about pokemon and pokemon teams so that was for fun.
basically it makes more plotholes and questions than not the more strangled reds plot stuff tries to be explained or added upon esp in the remakes which i think are not fun reads if you like steven as a character anyways. and also bc strangled and doors open in the ogs are easter eggs. trying to explain what is supposed to be an in universe easter egg in pokemon would obviously be kind of a lesson in futility. not. not exactly but at least in the way smr does it.
strangled makes sense, you just go to his fucking house and hes there. yea. doors open is like. Yea hes in johto now. dont ask. but its also easily explainable as... He just fucked off to johto. For what reason? idk. hates kanto bc theyve forsaken him and banished him to the Woods, just wanted fresh air i guess, or just for fun. these are all more plausible reasons.
iirc the rewrite doesnt even say why hes there and if it does the reason is convoluted and not needed. i think its just 'hes a ghost hallucination... thing??? following the mc which is the most boring route to go for with steven and the most uninspired thing ever, and missingno was not the antagonist just a plot device in the og story Why are we focusing on it so much.' and its still a plot device in the rewrites! it isnt explained ( good the explanation would be kind of awful ) and i cant see any good way to explain missingno other than the way i do as a fun idea. which is biased but the 'failed clone of mew number 3' is a fun idea.
this is an insane ramble from a deranged person. if you can't tell i fucking love steven as a character and smr does him dirty except in strangled red, really. strangled... is fine but bc he barely talks in that one and when he does its like. yea. that checks out.
no hate to you btw none of it was directed at you specifically just smr and strangled reds various canons. you just gave me an excuse to ramble about how much i dislike the remakes tbh. I fucking LOVE analyzing why i hate things esp involving steven bc hes not greatly written by his og creator and not often greatly written by the fandom either .
#wispy chatters#ask#answered#As you can tell i do not like the remakes.#or doors open but doors open is at the very least funny to read bc of. [ gestures at s!3v3n/steven ]#Steven is once again shafted as a character!!!!!!! It is likely made out of spite!!! Etc!!! At least DO is funny !#also i just dont think doors open needed a rewrite. smr admitted himself that it was a very dogshit story#ALSO ALSO stevens characterization once again teeters to IM CRAZY IM INSAAANE INSAAANE ASYLUM in the remakes.#and steven being a kind of weird hallucination. ghost. Kid. instead of a guy whos still alive but just forsaken and not himself is boring.#the rewrites feel like a netflix adaptation. if that makes sense. like a really bad netflix adaptation that adds things for the shock of it#that truly is just how they feel. that is the best way for me to Describe how they feel.#ok ill stop now. but the remakes will never do SR justice. SR is the better story of all official strangled red shit#and it was made in like 2011.#smr isnt bad at writing but by god 3/4 times he sucks at characterizing steven .#disagreeing with the author of your favorite media is the worst thing ever it fucking sucks you wrote it why dont you Get it.#when fanfic more deeply explores and answers questions in a satisfying way youre kind of fucked#and this is from someone who is neutral-to-dislike on fanfic fandom and also ao3 in general. fuck that site#which tbf a lot of his tag on there isnt... great. but theres a handful of great hidden gems#anyways read faulty on ao3#not maintagging this bc i dont want to argue this point. i could debate it but my stance wouldnt change trust me.#plus i hate maintagging its why all my hc or fic posts are strangled red steven adn not strangled red#if you like the rewrites i think youre wrong. but i respect your opinion. i respectfully disagree basically.#once again no hate to the asker you just gave me an excuse to ramble bc i love analyzing what i dislike in writing
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The worst thing about suffering is that it still hurts when the danger is over but no one cares about it anymore because it shouldn't hurt. No one will ever say "I'm sorry that happened to you" especially when they barely say "I'm sorry that's happening."
#Okay to tb btw all the personal stuff is in the tags#Like. Not eating for a week because you couldn't get groceries hurts#and people will say 'oof sorry that's happening' but then#after you're able to get food no one will ever say 'I'm sorry that happened' even though you think about it and hurt from it constantly.#No one will ever say ':( that must have been so hard' because you're fine now right???? No psychological damage there?????#This example is stupid but I do think about it every time I feel hungry. I told people I wasn't able to get groceries#and there was no food in my house. And they said. Oof.#Instead of idk Oh God Are You Okay ??#No one cares when you've been abused your entire life and behave the way you do out of genuine terror because your brain is fucked forever#They don't say 'I'm sorry that happened it must have been really scary to turn you into Such An Asshole. I pity you like a dog :('#Speaking of man everyone loves fucked up abused terrified dogs and wants to be the one who makes them open up#And shows them that people can be good and kind and that touch doesn't have to hurt#But everyone is scared of fucked up abused terrified people#Humans are capable of harm even more than dogs and fear is understandable but.#Can you please call me good boy and shush me and tell me nothing's going to hurt me and let me curl up on your lap#And not hit me if I get scared and start to growl and feed me good and take me on walks and play with me#Even though I'm not very fun to play with and I'm still learning what's fun and what's mean and what's a toy and what's a hand#Plleeeaaase don't be jealous of a dog that doesn't eat good don't say 'tch he's so thin what am I doing wrong'#I want to eat good and grow and gain fat and be warm and be comfortable I don't want this#Don't say 'if abused dogs don't eat good then I don't deserve to either' no no no no eat good so you can take care of us both#Please please please I learned so many tricks to make people happy and call me smart but I don't actually know how to do anything I'm#Literally like such a stupid dog it takes me like one day of no one paying attention to me for me to become un-housebroken#I make a lot of mistakes even though I know better or I really should know better#And sometimes do things wrong on purpose to get attention either yelling or showing me how to do it right#But most of the time I genuinely don't know how to do stuff because I was never taught or I was taught and#My previous owners said 'this is how it is. It is this way because it is and it is forever. The answer is Because.'#'now quit asking repetitive questions before I pop you'#If I do something Because and not know the reason why I'm doing it that's not learning that's acting#Especially habits taught specifically to hurt me and not being allowed to question it or know why I'm being hurt#Oh my god I acted out so much when I was younger and all my friends were so disgusted and hurt by me and yelled at me every day
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Steddyhands for the ship ask game
thank u !!!!!
Send me a ship and I will grade it:
A: I love it
ha ive actually been having a really interesting conversation with my friend about this specific topic, in that, i dont really ship steddyhands? or thats how i feel about it anyway- i ship each couple individually at the same time, but i dont tend to imagine them doing things i consider couple things all together (i also recognise my stance on that is weird because ill still stick them in the same bed and maintain thats not couple activity) specifically the appeal of steddyhands to me is how each couple inside it plays off each other and provides fulfilment that the third person cannot!
Steddyhands, for me, is about not having to be everything for someone and that being ok :)
#i feel like thats a weird ass explaination of my stance on them#i say i ship steddyhands as shorthand and maybe /you/ think i ship steddyhands (which is fine!) but for me?#they never do things all together in my head! they work and relax in the captains cabin (and share the bed) together sure#but if they are going out and doing something they can literally never find something thats Good for all three of them.#they find it better to go do things as pairs that they share enjoyment of and for the third to get some personal time#(because thats so hard to come by on a boat)#the closest they get to me are port trips and still. in my head. one of them is having a rough time whenever theyre doing that#its not enjoyable for them!!!! they dont work as a three! they work better as three pairs!!#moving cogs all synced together but never meeting in the middle#nyxtalks#ask#ask game#yeah im answering the questions youre gonna get flavour text idk what to tell you. its me#this also turned into way more addition than i meant but i have been. thinking about this a lot recently!!!!#i acknowledge that. this is what most people would consider 'shipping them' to be but. its not the same to me!#its three separate couples that happen to make a loop; not a throuple. to me. its not the same as i feel abt other poly ships#but i rated them with the consideration that. i am wrong here :)
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Apparently the speech and debate league I was deeply involved with in highschool is featured in Shiny Happy People and no one except my mother thought this was worth mentioning!!!
#my mom pointed out - rightfully so - that she wasn't allowed to pray at our 'mainstream' / 'liberal' (depending on your paradigm) church#but she was at the NCFCA tournaments she ran#and I was like .... yeah but really I did think they'd get you for that one. after some things men had said to me. I did think they'd make#you pay for that one#there was a lot of intellectual freedom as long as you learned how to spin / be strategic when you had deeply conservative judges#my partner and I went 1-5 at nationals one year because we thought 'end extraordinary rendition' was a no-fail case.#I remember when I set up a line of questioning in cross examination - where you're ALWAYS supposed to know the answers to your questions so#you can back your opponent into a corner / get admissions you need#- where I started confidently with 'so#can we both agree that torture is always morally wrong?'#and he was like 'no actually I think it's ok and we only have to be 60% confident we have the right person'#and it was all I could do to pick my jaw up off the floor#ANYWAY#adventures in the young political conservative army! they were formative! I wouldn't give my NCFCA career up for the world but#oooooof#tam.txt
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