#to all the boys ive loved before au
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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#a doodley#okkk 2022: the torture chamber....i only sparsely drew al and developed talon (he was borned...) bc my mind was occupied with other things.#2023: exiting torture chamber; it took me a tiny little bit to get back to drawing and ''interacting with'' al again but i did it even#though it was a reminder of the Bad bc he's my copium#summer 2023: i view and witness media and suddenly have like 5 fictional men i cant decide on which to focus... and september (talon month)#comes along so I decide to focus on Talon after not touching him much at all throughout the entire year#(forced this btw i did not wanna do it LOL i didnt even remember how to draw him)#september 2023 to now: talon has infiltrated the brain. but i want to swivel back to al#now: i've forgotten how to Talk to al (just like i did in beginning of 2023)#(and just like i forgot how to talk to talon for most of 2023)#so ive kind of just been replaying the smunker cow al daydreams from when they first met#so I can find my way back...retracing my steps#in doing so ive kind of also forgotten how to interact with talon but still havent gotten back to al#so rn my life is so boring without imaginary bf interactions. just the before sleep plot rehashing daydreams...#or sparse visions of em Sometimes#nobody in my brain rn just like the short period last yr and its distressing#what do i draw without a love obsession.....#how do i pass time without it....! so boring. idk what to do#i miss the me of several yrs ago when i was drawing 50 different aus with al....ive downgraded in skill and imagination and creativity#so bad since then. idk. idk. i hope they come back to me soon#maybe i shld just draw al a lot which is how i kickstarted caring abt talon again almost a yr ago ?#hoping i can get him to come back before my surgery i need my big sexy boy nurse for recovery#(complaining abt things usually fixes em for me so im hoping thats the case here)
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i forgot i started this in like april and never finished bc i got super busy with tmaynt but i suddenly remembered and finished it this week!!
i watched 2003 when i was in like? middle school and same as it never was stayed with me and was one of my favorite episodes because ive always been a fan of the darker and more angsty stuff. so i thought about 2012 in the sainw timeline and couldnt get it out of my head so. here they are. two versions because i couldnt decide which background i liked more
#alex arts#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 2003#tmnt 2012#same as it never was#tmnt sainw#sainw#tmnt leonardo#tmnt leo 2012#tmnt raphael#tmnt raph 2012#tmnt donatello#tmnt donnie 2012#tmnt michelangelo#tmnt mikey 2012#i think ive watched sainw at least like 10 times and consumed so much fanmade sainw content lol#i just!!! love!!! angst!!#and it was WILD to me that they showed all that but you know 2003 was always on the darker side anyway#as per usual i could talk about any of this for ever so i will stop before i write an essay heh#oh wait actually#real quick#my poor donnie#my baby boy#i will never get over the fact that the other three got super cool fun aus that were related to their interests#and donnie got to go to hell on earth and watch his brothers die.#LIKE????#n e way now im done
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atsushi writing his feelings to aku in a letter for himself
but using the same format and paper as his mission reports / other ada paperwork so kyouka sees it and thinks he forgot to send it to aku for a joint mission or whatever and mails it for him like the good little sister she is
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Boy King AU | Vettonso + Martian | 1.3k
There's something about putting the future emperor of the Holy Realm on his knees like this. About how easily he goes, how willingly, how obediently. What would his adoring public think if they could see him now. If they saw their beloved king pressed down like this, in the cramped space between Fernando's legs. When they realized their little boy king took it like he was a little concubine instead.Â
Fernando's bitterness is lifted away in moments like these, like taking off a heavy cloak on a winter's day. It was hard to feel humiliated about his own situation when watching Sebastian debase himself like this.Â
He always gives himself up so easily. When Fernando threaded his fingers through his thick curls. When he pulled them, and then when he pressed his face down further down into the vee of his legs. Sebastian rubbed his cheek into the coarse fabric of Fernando's breeches and blinked up at him. Fernando had to smother an embarrassing sound; he was just like a little cat!
Sebastian quirked his lips up into an odd little smile and slightly rose up on his knees, "What's funny?" Fernando swallowed lightly and schooled his face back into being impassive, "Nothing. As you were." Sebastian simply smirked at him and let himself be pushed back down by the fist clenched in his hair.Â
Fernando scoffed internally, there was only so much pleasure in putting the other man in his place when he instead acted like this, this degrading action, was his birthright. He took to ruling and indulging in carnal pleasures as if they were of equal gravity. To be privileged to hold such high station and also let himself be taken apart like thisâŚFernando felt embarrassed for him.
He is dragged away from his musings when Sebastian moved to settle his hands in Fernando's lap, clutching his hips over the fabric and slightly squeezing; Fernando fought against the urge to shiver. Sebastian pushed up the skirt of Fernando's waistcoat and smoothed his hands over the opening flap of his breeches.
His eyes darted up at Fernando again, a daft smile on his face. Fernando scowled at him, "What?" Seb's grin sharpened, "You could stand to be a little more gracious. This is your future emperor, and future husband might I add, kneeling for you on this dirty, depraved, derelict- ahâ" Fernando tugged on his hair again and hissed, "Well then, why don't you show me how eager you are to perform your marital duties?"Â
Seb licked his lips, completely unconcerned by Fernando's annoyance, and unbuttoned one side of the closure to Fernando's breeches and moved to open the otherâ
The door to the carriage flew open, arrival announcement dying on a wheezing breath as the servant took in the image the two kings made. One splayed across the seat, exuding power, the other kneeled, debauched, between the former's legs.Â
One would be hard pressed to determine which was higher on the totem of power and titles.Â
There was something gratifying about this to Fernando, about being caught. He had been humiliated enough throughout the entire courtship, what was one more thing? And, certainly, what was one more thing if he could drag Sebastian down into the dirt with him.Â
"Oh Mark, don't act so abashed! It's nothing you haven't seen before, in fact, we have been in this very position not even a fortnight ago!"
Oh. Yes. That.Â
It was hard to be completely pleased when he remembered how Sebastian had already spent years prior to their engagement sampling the palace's ample selection of fellow high-born men. And how all those men seemed to be completely and utterly wrapped around his little finger.
Fernando released his hand from Sebastian's hair as if it had burned him. He did not understand why he felt ashamed with Mark looking in on them like this. Fernando was the one marrying Sebastian, not Mark; Mark was just a lowly courtier who had the esteemed duty of spending practically every waking hour with the bratâŚsomething he himself was decidedly not looking forward to.Â
Sebastian stayed kneeling, staring impassively up at Mark, still fiddling with the clasp on Fernando's breeches. Fernando gritted his teeth and looked up from where he was watching Sebastian's clever little hands; Mark stared back at him placidly.Â
Mark's indifference made the entire situation worse. Fernando now felt as if he was not doing anything unique, not doing anything particularly new. How many other men had Mark caught Seb with in this exact position? Fernando felt like he was just another plaything of the boy king, soon to be boy emperor, except his position was forever, permanent. He was the "Kept King", the king who only kept his throne due to the whims of a boy who doesn't even understand what power is.
Mark coughed, "Well," he says, "Your Majesty, I do believe you have a meeting to attend." Seb pouted at him and whined, "We were just getting to the main course," but still braced himself on Fernando's thighs and got up off the carriage floor.Â
Seb pranced down the steps Mark had placed next to the carriage, miming tripping sown the stairs, snickering when his action made Mark reflexively reach out to grab him, and then playfully skipped off the final step.Â
Fernando couldn't help but stare as Mark made the weirdest grimace in response, and he inexplicably felt all his mortification seep away from him. Huh. Maybe Mark is-
Seb then turned around and frowned at him, seemingly disappointed, but his eyes are deceivingly sharp, "Fernando, I regret to inform you that I have other duties I must attend to, you will simply have to wait." He then grinned up at Mark next to him and giggled as the other man stiffened when Sebastian looped both of his arms through Mark's.Â
He leaned all his weight on the other man, Mark not so much as shifting his weight, "Oh Mark, won't you carry me back to the palace? I'm so very tired after all the horse riding," Seb looked up at him imploringly.
Fernando observed as Mark rolled his eyes and shrugged off the man, though notably not pulling his arm from Seb's grasp, and he got the distinct feeling that this exact scene had been played out countless times before.Â
Fernando clenched his jaw as he watched Seb turn and saunter off, Mark trotting alongside him like a loyal dog. Fernando was supposed to be the unaffected one in this partnership, the unflustered one, the unconcerned one. And yet here he stood, in broad daylight, in a foreign kingdom, on the steps of a carriage with his breeches half unbuttoned and his cravat in disarray.Â
He heard a cough from beside him, jolted and looked to the side. Sebastian's loyal Horse Master stood there, lounging against the side of the carriage. Fernando had forgotten who had even been driving the carriage in the first place. After Seb has let himself be pushed down, his hair still windswept from their ride together, everything else seemed to fade away. His thoughts were reduced only to how he could mess up the younger man's hair further.Â
Jenson grinned at him wolfishly, and casually crossed his legs, "First time?" he inquired. Fernando glared at him. The other man laughed openly at him, "What? He's a busy man with big prospects. You're not his majesty's only conquest, you know. Now your throne on the other handâŚ"
Fernando seethed, it was one thing to be humiliated by the future emperor, but to be patronized by the king's horse boy? No. It would simply not do. He closed his eyes in annoyance, pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaled, and prepared a speech about how he was not about to be talked down to by a man who didn't even have a throne to speak of!Â
But when he opened his eyes again and opened his mouth to begin his tirade, Jenson was already wandering away to tend to the horses. Dios mĂo, Fernando was not mentally prepared to spend the rest of his life with all of these impertinent morons.Â
#i love how i kept saying to people: no no i shant write any fic for this. only art.#me like two weeks later: hey guys :)#this is just: i was sitting in class and had a drawing idea but then im obv not drawing *this* in class so my brain went into narrative mod#not exactly 'baby's first ficlet!!!' but moreso ive not written in a while so i hope its alright???#but aaahhh this was actually pretty fun!! idk i think it was bcs i was also being brainrotted by the image of seb kneeling....#maybe ill draw it. but it felt like something that needed the context of narrative and not just oo here is a drawing!#anyways you can always ask me for a directors cut-(PLEASE PLEAE BEGGING PLEASE)#see this is why im not cut out for writing fic#its not like i dont think it can speak for itself. more that im just an overly reflective person who wants to explain all my thoughts#if i wrote fic itd really be just: chapter 1. chapter 1.5 chapter 2. chapter 2.5#anyways i think its pretty obvious but this is before their wedding and just like peak bitterness.#well not peak. peak would be the first year- first few months of their marriage#but this is fernando who is only just realizing how naive all his expectations of seb were and getting a glimpse of his future#but mostly: mindgames and power play and: whos actually really winning?#also my god jense is literally the best chara in this au. he is vibing and basically just witnessing ye olde reality tv#mark and fernando are always in a weird powerplay with seb(even if seb isnt even consiously doing so) and jense is just free from it all#hmm now how does one go about tagging fic#vettonso#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1#formula 1#martian#sebmark#also idk why im always so concerned abt tagging when im basically just writing this for my little boy king following i have somehow formed#hahaha! it is art to me!:#catie.art.#boy king au
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Woo hello đŹ!! I kept all of your ask here -- I put it like this for my own easy scrolling, but no way am I cutting any of this, it's so perfect AH
Oughhhhgh Haruka getting more confident from hanging out with everyone and getting such positive feedback⌠Iâd imagine the back to back innocent verdict and night of compliments would do wonders for his psyche ;-; And same for Muu and Amane! Minus the inno verdict, but the sudden influx of explicit compliments and acknowledgement of âhey, that was fucked up what they did to you, okay?â I wonder if thereâs any awkwardness since After Pain directly follows Bring it On, but I like to imagine Fuuta and Muu have a deeper talk about things in private (and maybe Muu hesitantly mentions her involvement with Rei in preparation for INMFâŚ)
Damn, whoâs going to give the sex talk to the kids after Yunoâs vide-- Shidou. Sidou does. Without hesitation. They have to stop him because no one wants to hear it and everyone there already understands the basics.I love the idea of she, Mahiru, Muu, and designer Mikoto chatting about everyoneâs fashion sense (I can imagine them poking fun at Fuutaâs tracksuit and Shidouâs patterned shirts.) And planning shopping trips that include everyone!!! Amane and Kotoko are given no choice in the matter, and a lot of the guys are genuinely interested in coming along.
Awww, I love the thought of Haruka getting into a âboyâ interest with Fuuta and Mikoto -- he never knew what it was like to have brothers but heâs really enjoying it <3 (Also Iâm cracking up over Fuuta trying desperately to convince them âitâs not cringe!!!â)
ASDFSDF Mappi just straight up sobbing and Mikoto handing her tissues đ But yes, she also gets choked up during Magic and Amane canât figure out why. This begins the adultsâ efforts to get her out of whatever situation sheâs currently in (which Jackalope was already half-working on, but is definitely spurred on by several angry almost-murderers demanding he get it done now.)
I do like that idea of Red more comfortable with showing skin than Blue. (I know people are very emotional about the stalker theory, but I personally never took it in a harmful way. I always enjoyed how it was a symbol of stripping away everything else until youâre left with your true, whole self.) So I like to think that Blue feels too exposed, but Red/Green are the ones who pitched it in a symbolic sense!Â
Iâm losing my mind at Kotoko/Kazui/Red talking about sparring. Everyone else is like âhell yeah, letâs see it!â and Shidou just sitting there like âyou all are going to be the death of me. You are NOT fighting.â Because I really want to think about it happening, Iâll say they manage to sneak away at least once and nearly break a prop in the process, to which even Jackalope shuts them down.
I think they all manage to get pretty serious again by the time T2 rolls around, but the hiatus is filled with a lot of sweet moments and healing conversations between everyone. Also, making so many plans for the future helps keep them sane when some of the project immersion gets a bit too real. Whenever they start realizing they might be condemned for their actions and worried that theyâre too broken/theyâre life is ruined, they come back to those plans and relax a bit.
Absolutely no pressure, but I would love to hear your T2 thoughts! đđđ Iâm so incredibly grateful youâve taken the time to share your ideas -- from the very beginning this au has been a big collaboration, so itâs super fun bouncing ideas around :D
#milgram#ft everyone!#i really love all of these ;---;#thank you so much!! ive been enjoying these so much and im sure everyone else is as well#i keep swinging drastically from torturing myself by thinking deeply about upcoming angst#and then healing myself thinking of everyone chillin in this au sdfsdfa#pretty soon ill write up a post with little details ive had in mind here and there đđ#i just havent had the motivation to put em down on paper yet but youre inspiring me!!!!#and yeah... i swore id finish a few of my current milgram wips before starting anything new but youre tempting meeeee#there will be plenty of time over the upcoming trial break for me to get some writing in im sure đ#in a more serious tone i want to write a little drabble of the prisoners leaving/returning to the prison area#the odd relief of dropping pretenses and feeling free again#and then the heaviness that settles over them when they put on their fake bandages and torn uniforms and walk back in#but movie night my beloved!!!#not in a limiting gender role sort of way but i think with all the femininity that was forced on haruka he has a great time with the boys#all that fashion advice was Not heeded when choosing outfits for backdraft and triage#the Dad Fit was all shidous idea#(<- says this but i love the backdraft look jsyk)#i feel like t2 movie night would be much more chaotic since they were involved for a lot so they can get rowdier#then again some things were left secretive -- they never got to meet shidous kids and most didnt watch tear drop filming#and some of the post-filming effects probably turned out cooler than they were expecting#lights camera sing your sins#ask
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Aemond Targaryen just kissed me. He kissed me, and I liked it. Iâm pretty sure I liked it. Iâm pretty sure I like him.
#aemond targaryen#lucerys velaryon#aemond x lucerys#house of the dragon#hotd art#lucemond#aemond one eye#luke velaryon#hotd fanart#fanart#prince aemond#to all the boys ive loved before#modern au
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but daddy i love him | đŹđŁđ˛
ŕ¨ŕ§ pairing: sim (jake) jaeyun x fem!reader ŕ¨ŕ§ word count: 10.2k ŕ¨ŕ§ genre: fluff, angst, smut ŕ¨ŕ§ tags: badboy!au, innocent!reader, opposites attract, sexual tension, corruption kink, dirty talk, fingering, oral (m + f receiving), 69, pet names (baby, angel, etc.), face sitting, protected sex. ŕ¨ŕ§ synopsis: Just because there's a new and seemingly bad influence in your small town, it doesn't mean you have to fall privy to his charms, no matter how beautiful he is. But when he takes notice of you, none of the gossiping wine moms can stop him from getting what he wants. ⸠shoutout to @kwanisms and @mini-mews for helping this fic come to fruition, ily guys sm and this is genuinely one of my favorite pieces ive ever written aaa.
âHave you heard about the new family who moved into town? The son is a real piece of work!â
âHeâs twenty-one but acts like heâs still sixteen on that damn motorcycle. No class or consideration whatsoever!â
âMaybe theyâll keep him in check if they decide to come to church this weekend. You know Reverend Park has no time for miscreants and delinquents.â
The familiar crowd on your motherâs front porch greets you as youâre attempting to exit the house. They cool themselves off with their makeshift fans and drink your motherâs homemade lemonade in the Saturday sun, continuing to harp on the locals in town that theyâve known for years.
Somewhere in their conversation, they drifted to the topic of the new family that moved in across the street. Three days was all it took for them to begin spouting their judgemental observations, every act from the new middle-aged couple and their son fodder for their discussion.
You smile politely with every fiber of your being, despite your instincts to snap at them and be on your merry way. If only they knew how ironic they are, pointing fingers at others from their high horses when the town kept enough space for their dirty little secrets. âNice to see you this morning, ladies.â
They say your name with grace, their tones all air with little substance. âOn your way to bible study?â Mrs. Choi asks, gazing at you from the rim of her glass.
You shake your head. âJust tutoring.â
âWith the Nishimura boy? What a sweet kid.â When Rikiâs name leaves Mrs. Leeâs lips, all the women hum in agreement. âSuch a bright future ahead of him.â
âOf course, as long as he passes English,â you joke. The womenâs faces donât change, not taking your teasing with an ounce of anything but seriousness. The bags under their eyes, lipstick smudged in the tiny corners of their teeth, and piercing attitudes begin to damper your excitement for the day. You bid them goodbye quickly with another smile, walking down the stairs and onto the path down the street.
As you turn down the sidewalk, still hearing the resounding chatter from the women, your thoughts run wild. Is this what life would be like when you were older, doing nothing but kicking your feet up on a neighborâs porch with only other peopleâs business to fill your time? Spending endless days and nights at church, listening to the same sermons leave Reverend Parkâs lips until you become as overly critical as they all are?
The screech of tires halts your thoughts in their place. âWatch it!â A young manâs voice pierces the morning air, making you step back even further. You hadnât realized how far you had walked into the road until you were back on the safety of the sidewalk. You trip on a crack between the two slabs of concrete, falling backwards and meeting the ground hard.
âShit, are you okay?â He takes his helmet off, immediately hooking it to his handlebars to check on you.
Sim Jaeyun.
You had not met him formally until this moment, but the motorcycle and undeniable looks gave away his status as your new neighbor. Your parents had decided to let the new family settle in before trying to visit and introduce themselves. If they could see you now, your maxi skirt hitched up to your knees and the boy barely a foot away from you, they would have had a field day.
Sure, you both are of age. Butlike Mrs. Choi, Mrs. Lee, and other local townsfolk always do, people will talk about such a compromising position if you arenât careful.
All those thoughts fade away though when Jake kneels beside you, his face flooded with concern. His eyes linger on the broken skin on your legs and then across your flushed face. âDoes it hurt?â
You shake your head. âItâs barely a scratch. Sorry I almost ran into you.â
âMore like almost ran into my bike.â He laughs, his expression one of relief as well as humor. âIâm just glad youâre in one piece.â
âThank the lord.â You brush your hands on your skirt and begin to stand up, but Jake grabs you by the hand to help, taking all your weight with him.
âThank you,â you say, brushing the free hair from your braid out of your face.
âYouâre welcome.â He unclips his helmet from the bar and gestures back to his bike. âI can drive you to wherever youâre going if you want. I donât have a second helmet, butââ
You canât help the laugh that escapes your lips, the thought of riding on the back of a motorcycle too ridiculous to envision given your status as the deaconâs daughter. What would people say?
Jake just furrows his brows, his lips turning up at the corners. âIs my offer that funny?â
âNo,â you say, âI would love to, itâs justââ
âSim Jaeyun!â The shrill sound of Mrs. Choiâs voice makes you take another step away from Jake, unaware you were as close as you were to him. His presence seems to be magnetic, just like his smile. âStay away from her or so help me God!â
Jake turns to the old woman down the road and nods his head, trying to be respectful but clearly irritated from her meddling. âYes maâam,â he yells, stepping back and getting closer to his bike.
âMaybe another time,â Jake says, âwhen youâre not flocked by the whining wine moms.â
You laugh and nod. âMaybe.â
Jake rides away on his bike, the wispy ends of his hair your last picture of him before he makes a sharp turn at the end of your street.
âWhy do I need to learn this?â Riki groans, laying his head flat against his desk. The church bells ring as he knocks his head in the same rhythm against the polished wood.
âBecause you need to be able to interpret text if you want to go off to college, Nishi. Otherwise youâll be illiterate and an embarrassment to the entire town!â You put on your best harping, disapproving voice. It makes Riki laugh as he lifts his head. Youâre glad at least the younger kids appreciate your sense of humor, unlike the older brood flooding your hometown.
âAlright, fine.â He opens his copy of Heart of Darkness, beginning to read the page in front of him. âI avoided a vast artificial hole somebody had been digging on the slopeâŚâ
A knock on the classroom door makes you and Riki turn. Yeri opens it with a shy grin, saying your name with the same nature. âSomeoneâs here to see you!â
âWho?â
âSome cute guy on a motorcycle? But donât tell Jungwon I said that!â She runs back out the door and leaves you puzzled. Surely itâs not Jake. You just met him; he wouldnât make the effort to try and follow you to your tutoring session, especially at the church of all places.
You head to the window to see Jake sitting against his bike, looking around at his surroundings. Heâs wearing the same leather jacket and gray jeans, his white shirt marked with several spots of sweat. Riki comes up behind you, making a sound of acknowledgement. âOh, thatâs Jake!â
âJake?â You look closer. âI thought his name was Jaeyun.â
âYeah, but I call him Jake.â He laughs. âHeâs my cousin.â
You nod your head, taking in his words. Jakeâs sudden move made a lot more sense, seeing as Rikiâs mother was getting sicker every day. She must have needed some help from her family to not only manage her household, but make sure Riki stayed on track.
âHe probably wants to see you. Yeri mustâve gotten it all mixed up.â
Riki grabs his phone, scrolling through texts with his thumb. âActually, he did mention almost running over a cute girl on his way to work.â The young boy smirks. âIâm gonna assume thatâs you?â
You blush, the flush on your cheeks making you feel hot. âWhatever. Heâs probably just picking you up!â
âI brought my own bicycle, dude. And as cool as Jake is, his driving makes me nauseous.â Riki begins packing up his belongings on the desk as you wonder what Jake would want to say that hadnât already been said earlier. Surely he had no interest in talking to you beyond another apology for almost killing you earlier, not that you would have noticed.
As your thoughts continue on, you barely hear Rikiâs parting words. âHave fun making out with my cousin!â
You venture outside and are greeted to Jakeâs soft smile as he looks you over. âDidnât expect you to be teaching my cousin how to read.â
You laugh. âWhen would that have come up? Before or after I fell face-first on the sidewalk?â
âTechnically, you fell on your ass.â He looks over the cuts on your leg again. âStill doesnât hurt?â
âBarely remember it.â
âDamn. Didnât realize I was so forgettable,â he teases. You shuck your backpack over your shoulder, pretending his joke didnât land. But you canât help how your mouth curves into a grin. âWanna take me up on that ride now? I donât see any wine moms in sight.â
Being clear headed and not in the midst of a compromising position, you take a better look at Jake. He may look rugged from the neck down, muscles standing out through his jacket, but his face is incredibly youthful and vulnerable without a touch of hardness. Maybe the wine moms had gotten it wrong; maybe Jakeâs actually a stand-up guy bundled up in a lot of leather.
Before you can answer, your father seems to appear from thin air. He wraps his arm around your shoulder. âMr. Sim, pleasure to meet you officially.â
Your father holds out his hand for Jake, and Jake takes it with a steadfast grip. âNice to meet you too sir. My mother was telling me how much youâve been helping my aunt since she canât attend services anymore.â
âAkemi is a pillar of our church. Itâs only right to take care of one of our own as the deacon.â Your father squeezes you tighter to his side. âGlad to see you and my daughter have met. I hope sheâs made a good impression upon you.â
âYes sir. Very much so.â He smiles in your direction. The dimple in his cheek makes your heart flutter in your chest, the butterflies undeniable.
âWell, please tell your parents to come to ours soon for dinner. It would be a pleasure.â Your father begins the quick walk to his car, the silent request for you to follow him clear in his stern posture. You give Jake an apologetic smile before you leave, hoping your eyes hold the promise of taking him up on that ride someday.
When youâre both out of earshot and in the confines of your fatherâs car, he turns to you with a frown. âDo not get yourself involved with that boy. He doesnât strike me as very forthcoming.â
You stutter out an excuse. Surely the first day of knowing Jake wouldnât be the last. âF-Fatherââ
âListen to me, sweetie. I know what Iâm talking about.â He starts the car and begins the drive home, tightening his fists on the steering wheel. âI mean it. Do not see that boy again.â
The next morning, youâre sitting in one of the front pews with your mother, Yeri, and her mother. You see your fellow townsfolk in attendance in the other pews, Jungwon being one of them, Yeriâs longtime boyfriend. Mrs. Choi and Mrs. Lee look like they are partially focused on the attendees, but also on their own gossip.
All of you are dressed in your best outfits, your hair wrapped in a bun to maintain the peak of modesty. It doesnât seem particularly realistic for a higher power to be judging you for your hairdo, but you gave in to your motherâs ridiculous requests as always. âWe are important people in this community, darling,â your mother said as she stuck the umpteenth bobby pin in your hair. âIf they canât trust us, who can they trust?â
Riki sits behind you, his pew empty save for him. When you offer the empty spot next to you before the procession starts, he shakes his head. âJake and his folks will be here any second.â
Your gut tightens, the words of your father playing over in your head. You know you have to heed his orders at all times, but the excitement you feel at the prospect of seeing Jake is unavoidable.
A minute before your childhood friend Heeseung sits at the piano to play the beginning of How Great Is Our God, Jake and his family walk inside. Jakeâs impeccably dressed, clad in a red dress-shirt and suit pants. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, revealing a handful of tattoos you didnât notice the day prior. He has his motherâs arm in one hand and a bible in the other, looking completely out of place but incredibly mesmerizing.
He winks at you when he sits down, making you turn your head back to your friend at the piano. You follow in your motherâs and Yeriâs lead, singing alongside them and forgetting the new buzz in your veins. You can feel his eyes on you throughout the songs and sermons, and you should say that you donât enjoy it, but you don't kid yourself. His attention makes your body tingle in all the right and wrong ways.
You excuse yourself in the intermission, walking outside until youâre a good ten paces away from the church. You take several pins out of your hair, grunting. The incessant tools had been scratching your scalp uncomfortably for the past three hours, and it feels like freedom taking them out one at a time.
It isnât that you donât believe in a higher power or the teachings your father and Reverend Park have supplied you with your entire life. The town is just too suffocating on days like these, setting you up to feel like you arenât good enough no matter how hard you try every day to perfect yourself.
The fashion show of your humble, presentable outfit, the whispered chatter from your community, the watchful eyes of holy men. They all make your skin crawl, that itch only intensifying with every day that passes. How could you stay in such a small room for years and feel misunderstood by everyone?Â
Jake saunters up to you, making you gasp in surprise. âJesus Christ!â
He smirks, hands stuffed in his pockets. âI thought you werenât supposed to say his name in vain.â
You shrug, smiling in relief to find itâs just him and nobody else. No-one to meddle, judge, or question your absence. âIâll just say a few words of penance. Iâm sure heâll forgive me.â
âI knew there was a reason I liked you.â Jake chuckles and steps closer to you, his eyes lingering on your dress. Itâs incredibly modest, the only skin showing high above your cleavage. but the look in his eyes still makes your nerves tremble.
 You wonder what thoughts are swimming in his head and if a majority of them are impure. Would it be so wrong to confess that you feel the same? That whatever heâs imagining mirrors your own fantasies ten times over?
âThe updo doesnât suit you,â he says finally.
You giggle and cross your arms. âIt doesnât, huh?â
He steps closer, so close you can feel his breath on your skin. It lingers across your neck and shoulder blades. You shudder, hoping he doesnât notice how his presence affects you. He reaches behind you and takes hold of the hair tie keeping your bun together. He expertly undoes it, your hair falling in waves around your shoulders.
Before he walks away, the church bells signaling the recommencement of the procession, he whispers in your ear, âMuch more breathtaking with your hair down, angel.â
The next time you see Jake, heâs across from you at your familyâs dinner table, all laughs with Jungwon and Yeri as your father passes out the rest of the side dishes. Riki is also there, discussing his motherâs treatment with your mother and Jakeâs parents.
You canât help the way your eyes attach to Jake across from you. Itâs almost a form of punishment that you were made to sit in such close proximity, the weight of his stare on you swallowing you whole.
The feeling of his hand in your hair, his mouth against your earâit was all so incredibly inappropriate. You shouldnât have thought about that day last week with such excruciating frequency, but you did. You thought about it when you heard the wine moms whispering about Jake on your porch, when Yeri and Jungwon talked about him as you studied, and when you were alone at night.Â
In your dreams, it was even more painful. In a perfect world, he would take his hand from your hair and keep it on your neck, holding you close. He would move his lips from the shell of your ear to the side of your neck, kissing and tasting what skin was available to him in that moment to make you come undone.
Yes, sitting across from him is torment. But the alternative is worse, not seeing him at all and having to conjure images of him alone in the quiet of your bedroom.
âDeacon, sir,â Jungwon pipes up from his spot next to Jake, addressing your father directly. âI was going to study with Jaeyun and Yeri at my house if you wouldnât mind your daughter tagging along.â
The muscle in your fatherâs jaw clenches. Heâs clearly unhappy with one of the attendees being Jake, but he hides it behind a smile. âItâs up to her. What do you think, sweetie?â
On one hand, you should absolutely say no. Jake may take you into a random spot of Jungwonâs house and make any resolve you still have disappear with the flick of his wrist. Even in the company of your friends, you know no place is safe when heâs around and close to you. And were you willing to crumble so easily?
At the same time, the distance is eating away at you. You canât take another charged glance in your direction, words unspoken but begging to be released. If you have to catch his bedroom eyes on your body one more time, you may just snap in front of everyone, and care little when you do.
âSure. Iâd love to, Wonie,â you say with a grin. âNishi, you want to come too?â
Riki shakes his head, enjoying the fruitcake your mom set out. âIâll stay. Someone has to help clean up.â Jakeâs mom squeezes one of his cheeks. Rikiâs face suddenly turns pink from his auntâs affection, making everyone laugh.
On your way out the door, your father catches you by the arm. He whispers, âNo later than midnight. Understood?â
On the cusp of 10 PM, you want to protest that time with your friends is already so limited, but you obey with a nod and walk out the door.Â
When you get in the backseat of Jungwonâs car, Jake too comfortable beside you, you feel your body flicker to life. âSo,â you say, âyour house then, Won?â
Yeri and Jungwon laugh, a conspiratory look in both of their eyes. âWeâre just gonna make a quick stop first.â
Kiss âEm Creek was the unofficial name of the lake that ran through your town, a spot for teenagers to spend a few hours alone with their friends or partners. It wasnât scientifically-correct, but it stuck nonetheless, many of the locals taking advantage of the not-so-secret hideaway. What went on there you only heard about through Yeri and the wine momsâ conversations, their voices littered with disappointment and condemnation.
Jungwon parks his car and turns his eyes to meet yours in the rearview mirror, that scheming smile still playing on his lips. âReady to take a dip?â
Your eyes widen. You shake your head at a rapid pace, making your friends and Jake chuckle. âNo way,â you say.
âCâmon babe, live a little!â Yeri winks and exits the car, Jungwon hot on her heels. The two of them begin to strip to their underwear, eager to jump in the water together. Jungwon picks her up in a bridal carry, Yeri laughing the entire way as he takes the first step into the awaiting lake.
As the two lovebirds continue heading towards the water, you and Jake sit in comfortable silence, your heartbeat slowly rising at the prospect of being alone in the car together. No distractions, no disappointed parents, no judgemental hags. Just the two of you under a cloud of stars and beautiful moonlight.
âI didnât know if you would come tonight,â Jake says, filling the silence with a quiet chuckle. âThought you were avoiding me at all costs, like Iâm some kind of plague.â
âNo!â You turn in your seat to face him. His expression is teasing but holds undercurrents of disappointment, clearly confused where your feelings lie. And he has every right to feel that way. One minute youâre wishing he would pull you closer, and the next you feel itâs better he keeps his distance. âI just donât know what your intentions are.â
His eyes darken and his lips curve into a beautiful but intimidating smile. âIs it not obvious?â
You squeeze your thighs together, a wave of heat spreading through your bones. âMaybe I just want you to say it out loud.â
He scoots closer to you, his chest a heartbeat away from yours. âWell, to start,â he says, âI would really like to kiss you.â
You smile. A breathless laugh leaves your lips, eager to know what it would feel like to touch his mouth to yours. âIâd like that too.â
Jake runs a hand through your hair and rests it on your cheek. His touch is as fragile as the tension between you. âThen what are you so afraid of?â
You shut your eyes, trying to come up with the right words and falling short. âItâs just everyoneââ
âFuck everyone else.â He forces you to look into his eyes, the words leaving his mouth being some of the truest ones youâve ever heard in your life. âYouâre not a bad person or a sinner for wanting what you want.â
âI know that.â
âYou may know it but you donât believe it.â Jakeâs lips ghost over yours, his breath tickling your cheeks. âStop thinking about what everyone else thinks of you. Think of yourself for once.â
Maybe Jakeâs right. All of your choices in life have been dictated by what your parents, friends, and total strangers have felt. If you listened to your own heart, you would have left all of them in the dust by now, chasing what you really wanted far away from this place.
At the same time, youâre glad to be in this car with Jake. Heâs so close to you, telling you to take the leap and choose yourself for the first time in a long time.
When you press your lips to his, the feeling of his mouth on yours soft and tentative, you know you canât wake up tomorrow the same person. This choice will ripple into all the choices you make from this moment on, but you donât seem to care.
All that matters is his mouth, taking more control and setting a fire deep in your belly. He presses his tongue to the juncture of your lips, diving inside without protest.
You moan into his mouth, feeling one hand firmly pressed on your neck as the other runs down your shirt to squeeze at your breast through your clothes.
âFuck, tell me to stop,â Jake says with a heady whisper, still kneading your breast with his palm. âTell me to stop if you donât want this.â
You shake your head, moving closer to him to the point youâre halfway on his lap, legs intertwined with his. âSo help me God, donât stop now.â
He snickers, pecking your lips again. âYou said his name in vain again.â
You roll your eyes as he chuckles into your neck. âThat wasnât the first thing on my mind.â You move your lips to his cheek. âOr the second.â They trail down to his neck, taking your fantasies and etching them into his skin. âOr third.â
âFuck,â Jake curses, holding you tight against him. âYouâre too good at this.â
You smirk. âContrary to popular belief, youâre not the first person Iâve ever kissed.â
He laughs, the rumble of it vibrating against your mouth. âI donât care as long as you keep kissing me.â
âWasnât planning on stopping.â By the time you reattach your mouth to his, youâre straddling his lap. His hands are nestled on the small of your back, wanting to inch down further but unsure where or what your boundaries are.
You take the initiative, suddenly bold, and put both of his palms on your backside. âIf you wanted to touch my ass, you couldâve just said so.â
Jake licks his lips, his accent coming out in a husky whisper. âI want to touch you in a lot of places. Your ass just happens to be easily accessible right now.â
âOh really?â You giggle. âCare to enlighten me?â
Jake sharply switches positions, your back against the expanse of the backseat as he towers over you. He rubs his hands across the outside of your thighs, eager but patient. âGladly.â
He kisses your neck, suckling and licking with perfect pressure, making you whimper. âJaeyun,â you say out loud, his name coming out like a question more than a statement.
âUse your words, angel. Tell me what you want.â His eyes pass over your face, your kissable lips and lust-blown irises. Youâre too entrenched in him now to walk away from this car the same girl, and you wouldnât want it any other way.
It may end badly, crash and burn completely like everyone expects it to, but thatâs the last thing you care about right now.
âI want you to touch me.â You take one of his hands on your thighs and place it over your underwear, its center damp.
âJesus,â he says in wonder, rubbing his fingers against the cotton.
âYou just saidâoh,â you stop short when you feel Jakeâs fingers against your clit. The sensation makes you buck your hips up into him, him discovering the bundle of nerves without trying hard. Heâs clearly happy at the wetness he finds. He rubs your folds in the same fashion, biting down on his bottom lip hard.
âYou feel so good already. So perfect,â he whispers, taking hold of your lips again with his own while he swirls his fingers in and around your essence. He switches between teasing your clit and rubbing along your pussy, his movements lewd yet graceful. Only when he puts a finger inside of you do you gasp and look at him directly, your eyes clearly giving away your fear.
âWhatâs wrong, angel? Did I do something?â Concern floods his face, but he doesnât take his hand away.
âIâve never gone this far,â you confess, looking to your side to hide your embarrassment.
âHey, look at me.â He turns your head to face him again, fingers laying under your chin softly. âWe can stop now if you want. I donât want you to feel pressured into doing anything you donât want to do.â
His response makes your heart clench. Most guys, youâd imagine, would be pissed off or pleading with you to continue on, to do what they wanted and enjoy the moment. That was how Jongseong was, pouting the entire time after you told him to pump the brakes on your makeout sessions.
Somehow, with Jake, it feels right to continue. You suddenly have no anxiety clouding your thoughts or expectations weighing on your heart. You kiss his lips tenderly and shake your head. âNo, I want this. I want you.â
A cheshire-cat grin spreads across his face before he goes in for another kiss. He runs his tongue along the inside of your mouth as his finger slides across your folds once again. He plunges it deep inside of your heat, your body adjusting to the new sensation with surprising ease.
You thrash lightly underneath him, matching the tempo of his finger with abandon. He slips another digit in, groaning at the feeling of your soft, gummy walls becoming accustomed to him. âYouâre taking my fingers so well, angel. âS fucking incredible.â
You gasp and feel the fire from earlier heightening in intensity, spreading from your belly into the other seams of your body. It makes your toes curl and your hand press against one of the doors of Jungwonâs car, needing something to clutch onto while feeling yourself losing whatâs left of your control.
âJaeyun, I think Iââ
âI know baby,â he says, pressing his lips to your forehead. âYouâre going to feel so good in a second, I promise. Donât be afraid.â
His thumb makes contact with your neglected clit, rubbing in rapid motions as he pumps his fingers faster in and out of you. You suddenly become overloaded with pleasure; its immensity is something youâve never felt before. You feel it coat the back of your mouth and take whatâs left of your rational senses, your body moving on its own accord as you ride out whatâs remaining of your orgasm.
You blush furiously when you come back down to earth, giggling like a schoolgirl as Jake kisses your sweat-drenched cheek. âThat wasâŚamazing.â
Jake chuckles, a smirk painting his features. âYouâre amazing.â
You tuck your face in your hands, embarrassed but still enraptured by what you just experienced. He pulls one hand away, taking it in his own, his expression suddenly shy. âSo, I guess this is the part where I ask you on a proper date.â
You laugh and sit up, placing your panties back around your hips and adjusting your skirt. âI would hope so!â
Jungwon and Yeri choose that moment to run back into the car, their hair drenched but their bodies properly dressed once again. Jungwoon looks at the two of you in the backseat and grimaces. âNot in my car, man!â
Despite the warnings from your parents and the wine moms, you and Jake had become inseparable within a monthâs time. It took many late-night impromptu meetings and secret rendezvous to keep your relationship private, but you had succeeded thus far. And it only made the moments you both shared that much more special.
Riki had kept your secret, keeping his eyes out for any prying townsfolk and covering for his cousin and you if need be. Yeri and Jungwon also cheered you on from the shadows, hoping one day you could be public like they were without criticism.
Sitting in the field near the lake, a picnic blanket set across the grass, you have your head in Jakeâs lap while he absentmindedly turns strands of your hair into miniature braids. Itâs a beautiful Wednesday afternoon, the two of you occupying the resounding forest with no outside influences.
âHave I told you lately how beautiful your hair is?â Jake asks, kissing your forehead before he takes another batch of strands in his hand. If he has to pick one of your best attributes, in his words, heâd say it was a tie between your lips and your hair, the two of them constantly making his heart race. You called him a liar, but as time revealed, he was nothing but honest with you every day, and not just about what turns him on.Â
Over time, you discovered his fears, his ticks, his aspirations past the small town you both found yourselves in. You admire his vulnerability, how open he is when sharing the thoughts that occupy his mind.
âAt least three times already,â you tease, running your hand across his leg.
âItâs not bad to hear it a fourth time, right?â He plants another kiss to the crown of your head. He drops the braid heâs just made across your face, making you laugh.
âIâd rather hear how work went today,â you say, getting up to press your back to his chest, snuggling into him.
He shrugs, wrapping his arms around you tighter. âNot much to talk about. Working with roofs all day isnât exactly exciting, angel.âÂ
You know Jake doesnât want to work at his dadâs construction company for the rest of his life. However, it provides stability, and that matters a lot to him. He knows what it did to his aunt when Rikiâs father walked out early on in his cousinâs life, and he wouldnât wish that lack of support on anyone.
âAt least youâre not running a tutoring center and a daycare in the same church,â you joke, your tone anything but humorous. The brood you dealt with every day was completely unlike Riki. They were kids that were carbon copies of their parents, children that would one day become exactly like their absentminded fathers and speculatory mothers. It put a taste in your mouth you couldnât stomach.
You fall into steady silence, the uptick in both of your nerves ebbing away the longer you hold each other. Sure, Jake hates roofing as much as you hate disciplining whining toddlers and helping apathetic tweens with mathematics, but it doesnât matter at this moment.
All that does is each other, enjoying the midweek sunset and the sounds of the birds flying overhead.
âWhat would you do if you were somewhere else?â Jake asks into the crook of your neck.
You grin, imagining a world of possibilities. The question never came up before, not from him or anyone else. It opens up a plethora of choices in your mind, but you narrow them down quickly, knowing what your heart truly desires.
âIâd like to teach,â you answer. âReally teach, maybe at a university. Something like poetry.â You turn to look at him, a newfound fire in your eyes. âYeah.â
Jake smiles back at you, moving stray strands of hair from your shoulder to rest his head there. âI think youâd be great at that.â
âWhat would you do?â
Jake ponders the question, going over it in the same way you were moments before. You see realization wash over his features, and it makes you smile. âI think Iâd write. Not literature or anything, but songs maybe? Teach music in the meantime. Still have to make money somehow, yâknow.â
You giggle and push him down on the picnic blanket, running your fingers through his hair. âSounds like a plan.â
He nods, sharing your happiness. âMaybe a kid and a dog can fit somewhere in that plan.â
Chuckling, you raise one eyebrow. âAs long as Iâm not having a baby out of wedlock, that sounds perfect to me.â
He turns you both over, covering your body with his and kissing you intensely. The passion runs from his body to yours, your heartbeats matching in their strong beats against your chests. âPerfect,â he whispers, his lips meeting yours once again.
It may be too soon to call it love, but you know youâre tiptoeing that line, and you wouldnât mind falling headfirst on the other side of it as long as Jakeâs there waiting for you.
âAre you sure they donât know Iâm here?â Jake asks, hesitant to walk up the stairs to your bedroom.
âItâs fine! Theyâre at a seminar all weekend with Reverend Park and his son, I promise.â You kiss his lips before running up to your room. Still on the fence, you hear his tentative footsteps trudging behind you.
Another few months rolled by, and your parents had softened to the idea of Jake being around more often. He showed up with his parents to church every Sunday, even if you both snuck off to make out in the backwoods when nobody was paying attention.
Heâd stick around for the deaconâs sessions with Akemi, brightening her spirits with his guitar and a couple of songs to replace the ones she missed during normal processions. It helped that she seemed to be getting better, slowly but surely, with treatment and daily prayer.
When you heard your father call Jake a ânice kid,â you knew they were turning a corner in their relationship that you wished for since the night Jake kissed you in Jungwonâs car.
Now, that doesnât mean they would be happy with finding him in your bed on a Friday night, but youâve broken enough rules at this point. Whatâs one more?
âYouâre trying to get me killed,â Jake jokes as you rip his shirt from his body, discarding the article of clothing on your bedroom floor. You sit on your bed and marvel at the muscles on his chest and stomach, all of it yours to caress and kiss at any time.
âDonât worry, babe. Iâll follow you to heaven,â you tease, pulling him closer to kiss his body. Each press of your lips to his skin makes him tremble, cursing quietly to himself at the feeling.
âWith the way youâre touching me, I doubt either of us will make it there.â
You giggle and link his mouth to yours. You moan when his tongue hits the roof of your mouth.
The intentions you had for tonight definitely involved numerous bouts of kissing, but the way Jakeâs making you feel will certainly end up with his face or fingers between your legs. And as good as that sounds, you donât want him derailing you from completing your mission.
There had been so many moments of him giving you pleasure up to this point, you wondered how he had stayed so composed and content after without expecting anything in return.
So, tonight, you decided to give him a bit of satisfaction, even if youâre walking into such activities without any kind of road map. Yeri gave you a handful of tips, but doing it for real is another beast entirely.
âJaeyun, wait,â you say, taking his face in between your hands.
He looks up at you with eager eyes, wondering why you pulled him away from your neck. âWhat is it?â
âI want to take care of you this time.â You say, hoping your expression gives off the confidence youâre trying to portray. âIâve never done it before, butââ
âAnd you donât have to, angel,â Jake says with a dopey, relaxed smile. What on Earth and heaven did you do to find a guy like him?
âPlease,â you beg, scooting closer to the edge of the bed. âI want to try.â
Jakeâs conflicting feelings are evident in his eyes. Surely any man wants his girlfriend to go down on him with the same eagerness that you're giving him right now, but he doesnât want you to feel obligated.Â
In his mind, pleasure isnât about some sort of trade-off. He makes you feel good because he wants to, not because itâs some duty he has to fulfill and expects to be paid back for later.
But, you asked so nicely and your eyes shine up at him so beautifully. He feels his resolve crumble enough to concede and do what you want.
You begin to unbutton his pants, your fingers twitching not from fear but excitement. When you pull down his jeans fully and see the outline of his bulge in his briefs, your mouth falls open slightly at the size.
Could it fit in your mouth if it was that big?
Jake chuckles and takes your hand to press to the gaping material covering him. âIt wonât bite.â
You look up at him and begin to stutter, unsure how to continue once you take off his underwear. âD-Do you want me to use my hands first?â
âWhatever feels right to you, angel. I trust you.â He rubs his thumb across your cheek, and it calms all the nerves that came to the surface.
Itâs in those three words that you find the courage to pull the remaining article of clothing off of him, taking in the sight of his cock in all its glory.
You gulp hard, trailing your eyes from the tip to where it adjoins to the rest of him. Youâve never seen one up close before, and you feel like youâre invading his privacy as you stare at it for another long minute. But who can blame you?
âItâs all for you, baby,â Jake whispers. âDo whatever you want.â
You feel a sharp pang of heat at the center of your thighs, his words spurring you on. You spit into your hand, as Yeri instructed, and wrap your hand firmly around Jakeâs cock. With an easy but deliberate pace, you look at Jake directly to see if youâre starting off on the right foot.
And boy were you.
Jake hisses at the feeling of your hand encasing him, loving the tightness of your fingers as they continue sliding up and down his dick. He had envisioned this many times in the solitude of his bedroom, images of you and your beautiful body writhing underneath him enough to get him off. But those nights were nothing compared to this.
âAre you ready for my mouth now?â You ask timidly. Jake wants to laugh at how innocent you sound, the words coming so naturally off of your tongue.
âYes, angel, please,â he answers, wanting to caress you by the hair and guide you down to his awaiting, leaking cock.
You move closer until you're an inch away from his tip. Flattening your tongue to take it into your mouth, you keep watching Jakeâs face for the right signals.
His mouth opens, a satisfied whine leaving his lips. You feel a wave of pride at the fact heâs enjoying it so much, egging you on further.
âYour mouth feels so perfect wrapped around me,â he confesses. He soaks in the sensation of your lips and teeth softly running over the veins of his cock, your head bobbing across his length skillfully. How can an innocent and dutiful daughter like you give such mind-blowing head?
He canât ruminate on the answer long, releasing a guttural moan as he feels his tip hit the back of your throat, the gag that rumbles from you making his cock even more sensitive.
âAngel, Iâm gonna come soon,â Jake warns. âIf you donât want me to come in your mouth, let me know now.â
You look up through your lashes at him as you continue sucking on him with fierce passion, swirling your tongue across his tip.Â
His hand is wrapped firmly in your hair now, fucking your face as softly as he can without forcing anymore of himself down your throat. When you take a hand to cup his balls, softly kneading them between your fingers, heâs done for.
He whines pathetically as his seed shoots inside your mouth. The taste isnât particularly pleasing, but you milk it for what itâs worth to watch him fall apart so perfectly under your attention.
The orgasm rocks through him with an unshakeable amount of pleasure, his body completely helpless as he continues to spurt into your mouth. He can only hiss and whine as you continue to touch him, letting him come down fully and taking all of him without complaint.
Jake breathes in deeply when he gains clarity again, taking you in his arms and shoving his tongue deep in your mouth. âThat was probably the best blowjob Iâve ever gotten,â he states, running his fingers over your face with adoration.
You scoff and roll your eyes, his words making you shy. âI doubt it, seeing as that was my first one.â
âIt was!â Jake puts a hand on his heart. âSwear to the savior himself.â Before you can rebut, Jake takes your legs in his hands and moves you to the edge of the bed.
You wake up to the hard knocks at your bedroom door, the morning sun peeking out of your window to prove the previous night has long gone.
âHoney? What did we say about locked doors in this house?â
Your fatherâs booming voice makes you jump up from bed, smacking Jake hard on the shoulder and chest to wake him up.
âWe had an odd feeling at the hotel, so we came home early,â your mother says as you shake Jake from his sleep.
âOw, what the fuck,â Jake grunts, his voice not quiet enough to go unnoticed. You curse yourself and the reality in front of whatâs about to happen, knowing full well your parents heard him on the other side of the door.
âSweetie, whoâs in there with you?â Your motherâs shrill but concerned tone makes you cringe. Jakeâs eyes bulge in response, quickly leaping from the mattress to pull on his clothes in haste.
Just when you throw your dress from last night over your head and Jake buttons up his pants, your father slams open the door with his shoulder. Your parents gasp and yell at the sight before them, the man they began to grow comfortable with in a compromising position with their only daughter and precious child.
âWhat in Godâs name is he doing here?â Your father asks no-one in particular, stomping towards Jakeâs shirtless figure and yanking him by the neck.
âDaddy, stop!â You plead, scratching and clawing at his frame to pull him off of your lover.
Your mother begins blubbering, teary-eyed before you. âOh honey, what did he do to you?â
âNothing,â you scream. âPlease leave him alone and let us be.â
âI told you to stay away from him.â Your father stares you down, eyes blazing with fury. âNot only did you betray me, but you betrayed the sanctity of your purity. Itâs a disgrace.â
Jake coughs, your fatherâs hands tightening around his neck. âThe only disgrace is the two of you holding her back, like sheâs some weak bird in a cage,â he croaks. âShe can make her own decisions.â
âYou stay silent, you insolent pest,â your father growls, yanking Jake out of your room and down the stairs. By the time you and your mother make it out to the bottom step, your father has thrown Jake out and onto the porch.
âStay away from my daughter, or youâll have another reason to pray you donât end up burning in hell.â
âStop it!â You step in between your father and Jake, the latter putting on whatâs left of his clothes. People begin to hover too close to your family home, suddenly entrenched in the scene playing out before them.
Jake kisses your forehead and walks away in the direction of his parked bike, unsure what else he can do unless he wants to truly end up six feet under.Â
 Your father grabs you by the upper arm and pulls you in the direction of your porch, but you resist with all your might. âYou canât make me go back in there.â
âI am your father and you will listen to me,â he grunts, holding on tight.
âDaddy, I love him!â You scream as you yank your arm away from your father, your inner strength giving way. âIf you canât accept that, I guess Iâll just have to burn hell with him. Better than wasting another second here.â
You run toward Jakeâs bike and sit behind him, cinching your arms around his waist. He smiles to himself, feeling the press of your chest to his back as he puts his helmet over his head. âAre you sure about this, angel?â
You nod furiously, not bothering to look back at your red-faced family. âMore than Iâve ever been.â
All you focus on is his motorcycle rumbling to life before you speed away. Your hair blows in the wind as you both escape the horrified stares of the local vipers.
You end up at a motel on the other side of town, far away from the scandal thatâs surely rocking your small community by now. The deaconâs daughter running away with the bad boy next door? What a tragedy!
You run inside to miss the upcoming rain, both of you shivering from the barrage of pellets that did land on your skin. You settle onto the mattress as Jake drops the small amount of belongings he had in his possession on the dresser.
He turns to you with quiet concern, arms splayed out on the furniture as he looks at you, searching your face for any lingering doubt. âNo regrets?â
You shake your head, exhausted but glad to be out of that house. âNone at all.â
He breathes out a sigh of relief and sits down beside you on the bed, rubbing your thigh with his fingers. âIâm sorry.â
Your brows knit together, confusion pouring over you. You take his hand in yours, intertwining your fingers. âYou have nothing to apologize for. If anything, I should be apologizing to you.â
 You feel tears build at your eye ducts, your voice suddenly growing thick when you recall the scene from an hour ago. âIâm sorry my father was so horrible to you.â
âHush, itâs okay,â he puts his other hand on your face. He kisses your lips tenderly and gracefully. How did nobody else but you see he possessed the most kind nature of anyone youâve ever known?
Jake moves his head, his lips curving into the smile that always takes your common sense away. âI love you too, by the way.â
Your confession from earlier hits you like a heavy rock, your eyes going wide and your face turning pale. âThat wasnât the way I wanted to say it.â
âThen say it now,â Jake urges, your face resting gently between his fingers.
Thereâs no fear or pressure when the three words leave your lips, only the feeling of a weight lifting off of your chest. âI love you, Sim Jaeyun. I love you with my whole heart.â
His face lights up, the words seeming to set aglow something deep within him. The only right reaction seems to be in the form of his lips attaching to yours in a passionate kiss, your shared love creating a beautiful path forward for the both of you.
He whispers his next words so lightly, you almost assume the statement is a figment of your imagination. âMarry me.â
You feel your face contort into a mixture of disbelief and elation, needing to hear him say it again for it to truly resonate. âWhat?â
âMarry me,â he repeats, his smile stretching across his face. âMarry me now, or in three months from now, or whenever you want. Just say you will.â
You exhale a breath of astonishment, unsure if he knows how much you want to say yes, to make this as real as it sounds on his lips. He leaves your side with a kiss to your temple to grab something from his jacket.Â
He comes back in record time, standing in front of you and twiddling the black box in both of his hands with anxious fingers. âI brought it with me to your house last night, I just didnât know how to ask then. But I do now.â
Like in all the stories youâve read and movies youâve seen in your lifetime, he sinks down onto one knee before you. You place a hand over your mouth as he opens the box, a ring with an opal-shaped diamond cushioned in the center.
âWould you please do me the honor of being my wife?â Those words on his lips, visibly shaken from his own question, make a thousand butterflies flutter inside your chest.
Months ago, if you knew then you would end up here, from the edge of the sidewalk to now, you would not change a single moment. The world had been so gray before, you didnât know what it was like to step in the sun until he came into your life. What other answer is there?
âYes, yes, yes,â you respond, tears flooding your eyes as he shakily places the ring on your finger. It fits just right, the stone at the center sparkling in the darkness of the motel room.
You kiss Jakeâs lips with all the force your body possesses, certain thereâs no better future than right beside him.
The feeling of the gold band around your finger makes Jake shudder as it touches his cock. Your body is nestled perfectly on top of his as you take what you canât put in your mouth between your fingers.
He laps up your essence with his tongue, ecstatic to have his face covered in your juices and smothered if need be by your wet cunt. If people think wedding nights are magical, engagement nights have to be a step up.
âFuck, Jaeyun, yes,â you roll your hips into his awaiting mouth, his tongue available for you to lay your slit onto. The expletive leaves your mouth like honey, the feeling fitting for such a dirty word.
He knows exactly how to make you fall apart and be put back together, and the thought of doing this for the rest of your life makes you want to cry again from the pure happiness inside your core.
Jake takes his lips off of your pussy and sits up. Before you can ask what heâs doing, he takes you into his lap on the bed and kisses you fiercely. You taste yourself on his tongue as he skillfully takes your breath away with his lips. When you part, he says, âAngel, I know we said weâd wait, but I donât know how much longer I can handle not being inside of you.â
You whimper at his words and suddenly rock your center into the tip of his cock, making him groan in the process. âI meanâweâre just starting early, right?âÂ
Jake releases a joyous laugh and kisses you hungrily, his face in a constant state of ecstasy since you said âyesâ hours ago. âRight.â
 The anticipation makes you even wetter, crawling to the head of the bed as Jake grabs a condom from the bedside table. If there was one thing he had promised, he swore he wouldnât get you pregnant. Not yet, anyway.
He rolls the rubber over his cock before joining you on the bed, lining up perfectly with your center. He rubs his tip against your folds, biting his lip at how easily it gets coated in your essence. âReady?â
You nod eagerly, a smirk filling the entire bottom half of your face.
He pushes the tip in, the pressure a foreign feeling you had never experienced before. It took time and practice to get used to the size of his fingers, but this is another level of fullness that takes your breath away.
Once Jakeâs partially inside and gives you a moment to adjust, he asks, âCan I move?â
You nod your head, holding onto his shoulders for support as he begins to thrust inside of you. He loves to see his cock disappearing between your legs, your body eagerly taking him in and stretching itself out to accommodate him. He loves the way you whimper at the movement of his hips and the pleasure youâre receiving.
Better yet, he loves you. He loves all of you, from the nonsensical words you speak in your sleep to the wrinkle between your eyebrows when you get mad. Youâre all his, and heâs grateful to be the only one you call yours.
âWe may never leave this motel,â Jake says, his words breathy as he continues moving his hips. âI could stay inside of you for the rest of my life, angel.â
âI love you so much,â you say, inching your hand between your bodies to roll your clit between your fingers.
âI love you,â Jake says. He takes your face in his hands and kisses you like he wants to pour all of his emotions from his being into your soul, just so you know how deep his love for you goes.
Itâs all so overwhelmingly beautiful, you feel the swell of your release cresting over you like a tidal wave. âBaby, Iâm gonna come,â you whisper, your mouth open wide from the moans and cries you cannot suppress.
Jake groans and slams his hips into you harder, filling you to the hilt repeatedly. âCome, angel. Come for me.â
You cry out as the orgasm takes hold of your body, your fingers working on their own accord on your clit as you fall off the edge.
Jake stills not a second later, releasing into the condom and taking the last remnants of his energy to thrust inside of you a few more times.
He pulls out and throws the rubber in a nearby trash can. His sweaty body clings to yours, hands rubbing up and down your arm tenderly as he kisses the curve of your shoulder.
You see the flash of your ring in the glow of the motelâs neon sign, and you think about how the night could not have gone any better.
Jake may be a bit reckless and not what you initially imagined for your future, but now that you have him, you wouldnât give him up for anything. All the parts of you that stayed buried for so long have resurfaced because of him, and you could not be more grateful.
With your left hand a touch heavier than it was some hours ago, you fall asleep to the sound of the rain hitting the window and Jakeâs rising and falling chest.
You walk out of your motherâs house, happy to have made a visit with her before she ran off to do her morning errands.
What youâre not pleased to encounter is the same crowd of women huddled with their homemade fans and cups of lemonade. They werenât there when you arrived a few hours ago. Of course they show up when you have no chance of escaping them, like the vultures they are.
âMrs. Sim,â Mrs. Choi says, her tone entirely made of stone with little warmth. âPleasure to see you.â
Your new surname gives you indescribable amounts of happiness. It took your parents some time to get used to, but eventually, they realized you put your heart in the right place. Your father took his sweet time getting there, begrudgingly admitting a short time ago Jake is a very acceptable son-in-law, the turnaround of his perception of your husband complete.
You give the crotchety ringleader a fake smile and attempt to walk away, but Mrs. Lee interjects. âHowâs your mister doing working at the church now?â
âGreat,â you say, genuinely happy to talk about a topic you care for. âJaeyun loves the kids. Little Yuna might actually be a guitar prodigy from what heâs told me.â
They all coo, practically synchronized in their sips of lemonade and fan flurries.
âSoon enough youâll have one of your own, Iâm sure,â Mrs. Choi remarks with sarcasm, her red-lipstick-stained front teeth on full display.
âNot too soon now,â Jake suddenly says, walking up the pathway to your motherâs house and taking you in by the waist. âMy wife has to finish her Masters first. How else is she gonna start teaching at the community college?â
My wife. No matter how long itâs been since you officially got married in your church, that day a year ago forever ingrained in your memory, it still warms you to the bones hearing those words leave Jakeâs lips.
The women all express signs of agreement, some nodding while others hum.
âWe better get back home now, but you ladies have a nice day!â Jake bids them goodbye and walks you both down the stairs with his hand on the small of your back. Even if he were to be more than the perfect gentleman in front of them, they would still linger around with pesky eyes and constantly moving lips.
âTheyâre still betting weâre gonna crash and burn, arenât they?â Jake whispers, teasing you with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
You shake your head. You fall more in love with him every day that passes, no matter what the people around you do or donât see. They may have their opinions, but it wonât shake the foundation youâve built. âWell, theyâre sure to be disappointed if I have anything to say about it.â
Jakeâs eyes widen, his expression humorous yet surprised. âEasy, angel. Donât want to have to tear my wife off of a nosy wine mom.â
Your heart aches at his words, him fully aware of what two of them in particular do to you. âI love you.â
Jake grins, inching his face closer to yours. âIâd love nothing more than to kiss you right now, but what would everyone say?â He asks with a mock face of horror.
You shrug without much care, grinning. âSomeone once told me âfuck everyone else.â And right now I couldnât agree more.â
Jake laughs before he places a gentle kiss to your lips, the sun radiating off of him in waves as he pulls you closer.
No matter what anyone in your small town has to say, your choices are yours; youâre perfectly happy with how your life has turned out whether they think so too or not. And you will always choose Sim Jaeyun, now and forever.
@yvnempire @sjylouvre @mini-mews @jayparked @heesuncore @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @jenoslutie @loserlvrss
đ§đđđ°đ¨đŤđ¤đŹ ๨ŕ§Ëâ
@kvanity-main @sweetvenomnet @onedoornet @sayxonet @violetanet @svthub @whipped-kpop-creators
#kvanity#svnet#sim jaeyun smut#jake sim smut#enhypen smut#enha smut#enhypen x reader#sim jaeyun x reader#jake sim x reader#enha x reader#enhypen fic#enha fic#enha fics#enhypen fics#sim jaeyun fics#sim jaeyun fic#jake sim fics#jake sim fic#sim jaeyun hard hours#sim jaeyun hard thoughts#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard hours#[ lexi's works ]#[ 1k ęŁŕ§ ]
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AU Sketch Ideas II
Series I, Series III Series IV
Sfw, gn!reader, mention of Crepus's death
Court (Ragbros + Jean)
The reader Kaeya's and Diluc's youngest sibling, Jean wants to propose but the reader misunderstands thinking Jean likes Diluc
Jean is a traditional woman, she believes she has to meet your guardians who else if not your brothers.
She asked for your brothers for a blessing, which caught them both off-guard. Of course, they give blessing.
The reader stays with Diluc in the Dawn Winery before and after Crepus's death. So Jean obviously often visits Dawn Winery just to see you.
But you are so oblivious you thought with Jean often dining with you and Diluc and sometimes Kaeya, she has a crush on your big brother.
Whenever she visits, you often hide away in your room or walk around the Dawn Winery, thinking you help her get close to your brother. On the other hand, Jean always slumped whenever you left.
It does infuriate the three of them, but who can be mad? Diluc is so protective he often shielded you from all this stuff. Kaeya always jabs Diluc for this. Jean always sees this naive side of you as a cute quirk.
It doesn't help that Kaeya often teasingly calls Jean "sister-in-law" in front of you. Diluc also called Jean that during dinner, when you are also at the table. It should be obvious but boy it makes you more sure she has a thing for your brothers.
Every time Jean greets you or gives you gift, you often passed it to your brothers, whilst Kaeya just smiling in defeat and Diluc just looking at you funny.
Barbara just prays to Venti Barbatos that her sister will have a smooth process in making you her spouse.
Also, Barbara will be the godmother for you both's future kids.
Well, it might take years for that to be a reality.
Until it happens, your brothers and this knight will keep trying to make you realize how bad Jean wants you to take her surname.
Adelinde can't wait to be a "grandma"
Little Dragon (Zhongli + Xiao)
There was a request i got before about Dad!Zhongli, i might do that in the future
Dad Zhongli and Big Bro Xiao!
PROTECTIVE AS FUCK.
oohhhhh every kid in the daycare somehow has a puppy crush on you.
Especially a certain ginger- It seems like Zhongli does not like you getting close to him.
Zhongli wants you to learn about his culture, so he often teaches you how to eat with chopsticks and with a chopstick helper. Obviously, you hate it, you just want to use your hand and eat your food. It doesn't help that Xiao really wants you to learn how to use chopsticks too.
Xiao adores you dearly and Zhongli loves you so much.
Despite spoiling you quite a lot, they also let you learn something by yourself but also watch closely for your safety. Like climbing stairs, peeling oranges, putting on socks, etc.
Dragon!Zhongli and Bird Xiao plushies!
Your outfit will consist of brown/yellow or earthy colours. Sometimes also purple and white so you and Xiao can have matching outfit.
#imaginedraw#genshin x reader#gender neutral reader#genshin x gender neutral reader#genshin impact#jean gunnhildr x reader#diluc ragnvindr#kaeya alberich#zhongli#xiao
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hello ive always loved your fics since nijien days and now more into love and deepspace, specifically sylus (the pipeline is universal, iâm afraid) so now, i beg for stalker sylus who is obsessed with everything you do, will fuck you in an alleyway please, cnc and mindbreak, thank you đđť
"window watching."
pairings: sylus x m!reader
summary: sylus can only take so much of your teasing before he breaks. unfortunately for you, his methods aren't so nice.
tw: NONCON, stalking, obsessive behavior, size diff., frottage, sph (if you squint), praise. implied kidnapping, handjobs, choking, coercion, dacryphilia etc.
notes: see how i didnt add stalker to the front of his name? i genuinely think he would stalk the shit out of you and it doesnt need to be an au, lol.
in all seriousness, i hope you enjoy it. i'm getting back into the swing of things... probably a bit ooc and doesnt follow the game lore (too much, that is).
im uploading this while sick, so i apologize for any mispellings/mistakes/etc.
please let me know what you think!
stalker sylus who cannot, at first much to his dismay, keep his eyes off of you.
everywhere you go, every time you think you have a sliver of privacy: he's always watching. whether its mephisto or one of the twins, he needs to know what you're doing at all times. taking note of what stores you visit, what time you usually come home, who you talk to. it becomes an urge he cant quite satisfy.
at first, he only watched out of boredom. yea sure, he needed you alive, so keeping note of your location was just another one of his duties. someone as naive and reckless as yourself was bound to get into trouble.
but gradually it gets worse.
"where are you off to now, kitten?" mumbling to himself, the man swipes across his phone screen, watching surveillance cameras with a bated breath as you walked home. your figure was a bit blurry, but that didnât stop sylus as he watched intently. it was nothing truly unusual. around this time, you'd be already cozied up in bed, but it seems like work made you stay overtime tonight. "idiots.." sylus's brow furrowed slightly at the thought of you overworking yourself.
before you, he didn't care much for romance. friendship, trivial things: he thought those were what made a person weak.
but now?
every little thing you do drives him mad. the way you carefully fold your clothes after finishing your laundry to make sure your room stays clean. how you always greet the cashier at the nearby convenience store with a smile, thanking them for bagging your items. how long you take a shower for, which coffee shop is your favorite, even down to the type of shampoo and conditioner you use daily: sylus had it all down to a science. he practically knew everything about you.
even then, a question still rang through his mind. why would you waste your time with all of these other men?
he knew about that strange doctor who's gaze lingered on yours a little too long for his liking. sylus felt his fist clench when he would watch you talk to that painter too, jaw clenching in annoyance when he would see you walk home or to work with that blonde boy.
he shook his head, trying to snap out of his own thoughts. this wasn't about them. right now, this was about you.
it was another evening with you winding down after a long day of work. a tired sigh leaves your lips, and sylusâs cock throbs watching you undress as you slowly slip off your shirt. was it normal to be staring at another man like this? watching from cameras could only do so much, so this time, the villain found himself on a roof adjacent to your window. thankfully, you were too stupid a majority of the time to close the blinds, so he had a nice view of your nightly routine.
...which was mostly boring to watch, if he's being honest. you walked around shirtless for a moment, putting away your work gear and leaving your shoes by the door. it was a whole lot of nothing for a good 15 minutes, leaving sylus to rethink his choices for the night.
sitting on the cold bricks of the adjacent roof, he couldn't help feeling just a tinge of shame. "how pathetic, watching afar like some sort of pervert. i should just go in there and.." he scoffed, eyes narrowing in what seemed to be.. annoyance? the leader of onychinus hated chasing his prey like some sort of weakling. he was better than this. he deserved to have you in his arms, no matter what you thought or said.
however, his words abruptly came to a stop when your fingers trailed to the hem of your pants.
dark red eyes stared deeply at your hands as they softly pushed at the fabric of your boxers. languid fingertips played with the fabric, yawning as your thumbs hooked against the waistband and began to pull. further and further, pulling ever so slightly to show off a bit of your happy trail, the base of your cock threatening to peek for unwanted visitors to gawk at. sylus could feel himself leaning closer, the distance between the roof and your window suffocating as more of your skin was exposed.
almost, that is, before an imaginary light bulb in your head went off and you quickly took your hands out of your pants. "shit, i forgot to pick up dinner on my way home. i should do that now before i go to bed," you thought to yourself, whisking away from the window and grabbing a plain shirt to throw on. reaching for your keys and wallet, you opened the door and left your apartment as usual, unbeknownst of the dangerous man watching your every step.
sylus's own hands were nearly trembling. the ache and tent in his pants didn't help either, feverishly getting up and following you as you made your way into linkon city. he didn't have to ask mephisto or the twins to follow you - thankfully, the rooftops gave sylus a clear view of the streets below, and he could spot you out from anywhere. the man didnt bother to speed up either, knowing which store you were going to (you were very predictable, after all).
he also knew that there's a convenient dark alleyway just before you would turn the corner to go to the establishment. unfortunately, this vital piece of information slipped your mind, leaving you completely unaware and unguarded as rough hands yanked you into the darkness.
"mmph-!" you tried to scream, the hand covering your mouth muffling your pleas. even though you worked out and were pretty fit because of your hunter lifestyle, your strength was nothing compared to the man hovering above you, wriggling to no avail.
"shh, kitten. you wouldn't want anyone to hear us, would you?" the older man mocked, relishing in the fear and befuddlement in your eyes. it took a second for you to process that the other man was none other than sylus himself, smirking as you squirmed in his grasp. red eyes bore into yours, filing you with fear that rose every second. why did he have you pinned in some dirty alleyway like a thief? surely it wasn't money he was after.
the leader moved his hand from his mouth to your neck, holding you in place as you gasped for air. "s-sylus? what are you doing here?!" crying out, your body couldn't struggle anymore, so you opted for your hands gripping his wrist and trying to pull it off of your neck. "what does it look like im doing?" he scoffed, leaning in close to your ear.
"im here to see you, of course."
brow furrowing, you looked at him in confusion as you took in your surroundings. "a dark, dingy alleyway?" you thought aloud, looking him up and down. sylus fixed his posture as he looked down at you, your size difference becoming more obvious by the second. "oh, did you want me to come and knock on your door instead? i apologize, sweetie. you should've told me you wanted the big bad leader of onychinus inside your little headquarters." his grin infuriated you as you rolled your eyes.
before you could think of a clever rebuttal, sylus wedged his knee in between your legs, parting them open as his thigh pressed against your crotch. "i-i dont.." you muttered, voice raising in pitch to pair with your nervousness as he kissed your neck. he didn't bother answering your silly questions, simply smiling before biting into your shoulder. you hissed in pain, trying to push him off even more than before.
"you don't what, love?" his voice isn't serious at all for the situation you're in. cold skilled hands fiddled with your zipper, freezing for just a moment before gripping onto your girth. the sensation made you cry out again, unable to hide your face from your attacker, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. sylus coo'ed at your feeble attempts to push him away, unbuttoning and pulling out his own cock to hold against yours.
looking down, the size comparison of his cock against yours made your face feel warm. ""aww, look at you sweetie. you're all bark but no bite." the older man laughed again, fingertip circling the head of your cock as he teased you. you loathed the way you shuddered at his snide remarks, the sound of the bustling city just feet away making you panic again.
you raised your voice, "sylus, this isn't funny anymore, seriously! cut it out!".
the wordless tension spoke volumes.
sylus didn't laugh or comment on your refusal. instead, his grip on your neck only grew tighter, choking you against the wall as his other hand started to make a fist around both of your cocks. "do you see me laughing?" his tone was firm as he squeezed harder on your throat. you couldn't say anything back, choking out a sob as he slowly began to jerk you both off together, a low moan slipping from his lips.
"ive wanted this for so long, kitten. so fucking long." muttering, he continued to grind his hips against yours, the unwanted pleasure making your head spin. "i've had enough watching from afar. i think its finally time i get what i want, right?" he kissed the tip of your ear, toying with the cartilage between his teeth.
unable to believe what was happening, you could only cry out more strings of "please", "stop", "no": all music to sylus's ears. "you don't really want me to stop, right? look at how much your cock is leaking onto mine.." he chuckled lowly again, grabbing the back of your neck to force your gaze downwards.
he wasn't wrong, either - dribbling precum and throbbing the entire session, your dick looked just as eager as sylus's, twitching with every flick of his wrist. it wasn't your fault that sylus was way more experienced compared to you. whining, you shook your head again, trying to close your eyes shut so you wouldn't remember any of this. the outside world was so dangerously close, and anyone could catch you two at any moment. how disgraceful it would be: a well known hunter being caught rubbing cocks with the renowned leader of onychinus. you frowned at the thought, whimpering as sylus went back to kissing your bruised neck.
"you could come with me, yknow. back to the n109 zone, i'd take such good care of you." sylus whispered as he felt himself inch closer to his own release, hand pumping furiously between you two. hot tears streamed down your cheeks, your brain awry with the overwhelming sensations of pleasure and pain. "you could have anything you wanted. you wouldn't have to work another day in your life." he groaned, balls tightening at the thought of his own perverse fantasy, imagining you kept in his bedroom all day just for him to use.
"d-don't, sylus please -" you hiccuped, forehead resting on sylus shoulder as he toyed with you. "im gonna cum," sobbing as you held onto his biceps, not wanting to sink any further against the dirty alleyway wall. with so much teasing and dirty whispers from the other, you couldn't think straight, practically panting in sylus's ear as his hands jerked you both off closer and closer.
growling, sylus slotted his lips against yours, a surprisingly gentle kiss before muttering under his breath. "be a good boy and cum for me then," using your fluids as lube, the squelch of his tight fist jerking off your cock made you spill. moaning loudly, your nails dug into his arm as thick ropes of semen poured out, mixing with his load that came seconds after.
silence filled the space between both of you as you tried to catch your breath. your eyelids felt heavy, leaning onto sylus for full support as he rubbed your back. you couldn't quite process what just happened, brain feeling much too fuzzy for any thinking right now.
perhaps it was a mix of exhaustion from your normal workday and your encounter that made you pass out on the older man's shoulder. nonetheless, he was not going to let this opportunity go to waste. pressing onto the comms headpiece in his ear, sylus spoke as quietly as he could not to disturb you.
"luke, kieran, bring one of the cars to my location. i have a little kitten coming home with me today."
#sylus x male reader#sylus x reader#sylus x you#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace x male reader#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace x m!reader#sylus x m!reader#male reader#m!reader#mlm blog#male reader blog#my fics..#x male reader#lads sylus#lads x reader#lads x male reader
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so high school - BEARMAN
pairings: ollie bearman x black!fem!reader (fc: @/inamouala + pinterest)
summary: a glimpse into the life of ollie bearmans girlfriend
type: social media au (smau)
note: this idea has been in my drafts since silverstone and ive only just gotten round to writing itđŤŁ
note 2: lowkey rushed the end bcs i just wanted something posted so sorry but i hope to post more soon!!!
masterlist
youruser
liked by olliebearman, yourfriend3 and 4,920 others
lifes pretty nice when it looks like this đŤđ¤đ´
tagged olliebearman
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yourfriend3 miss you gorgeousđŁđŁ
youruser miss youuuđŠˇ
olliebearman a literal dream𼚠liked by youruser
olliebearman my princessđ
youruser my pretty boyyyyđŁ
yourfriend6 ahhh miss you so much!!! hope ur having lots of funđ
youruser i feel like i havent seen you in agesss𼚠message me when ur nearby and we can do something togetherđ
user72 you guys are so cuteâšď¸
user34 this is ollies gf?? how have i never seen her before shes stunning oml
user68 yesss!! they are pretty lowkey and dont post eachother a lot which is probably why youve never seen her!
user34 oh ok! do we know how they met?
user72 pretty sure they have been together since school so a good few years now! liked by youruser
youruser
liked by olliebearman, paularon_ and 6,396 others
just a bit of everything đ¸đĽ
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olliebearman pretty pretty girl𼚠liked by youruser
olliebearman love youuđ
youruser i love uuuuđđ
yourfriend2 tell ollie to stop hogging you pleaseđ
olliebearman no can do im afraid!!
yourfriend2 đđ (can i come next week)
olliebearman đđ (yes, yn misses you)
user55 the hand placementđŤ
user63 ur so gorgeous oh my godđ¤Š
user84 can ollie fight?? (please say nođ¤đ¤)
youruser đsilverstone
liked by olliebearman, oscarpiastri and 7,201 others
life in the very fast lane for me and b-manđ§¸
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yourfriend3 unrealđŽâđ¨
yourfriend7 đđđ
olliebearman my angelđ liked by youruser
youruser my pretty photographer đđ
user88 wait ollie ate with those photos
user52 nahhh its all yn trust liked by olliebearman
user79 i love when yn is at the races so much!!!
user46 my favorite school sweetheartsđŤ đŤ
user55 yn calling him b-manđĽšđĽš
olliebearman đľ so high school - taylor swift
liked by youruser, alexpowellracing and 337,496 others
summers with my best friendđđ´đ
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user6 OH MY GODDDXDđđ
youruser god has his favorites and im one of them!!!
olliebearman me too!! me too!!
user52 i am NOT one of them :((
youruser such a special boyđ¤Šđ
olliebearman my favourite forever and ever
user83 these two make me feel so painfully aloneđ
user95 shes his best friendđĽšđĽšđ
user7 i cant cope with these two
user39 ahhhhh i love yn so much
olliebearman me toođ¤đ¤
user74 ollie using so high schoolđĽš
user1 officially their song
user74 true!! i dont make the rules i just enforce them!!
#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 smau#f1 social media au#social media au#formula 1 insta au#formula 1 social media au#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 insta au#f2 x reader#ollie bearman x reader#ollie bearman#formula 1 imagine#f1 drabble
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All's Fair in Love & Chaos (IV)
fourth installment ( I - II - III)
a short blurb style mini-series in collaboration with @unstablereader no real plot, just vibes and comedy.
Synopsis: soulmate au, everyone's soulmate's initials become visible on their wrist when the last person in the bond 'comes of age' (I've left the age ambiguous because their may be mature insinuations later on in the story). As luck would have it, and much to everyone's horror; it appeared that you, Barty Crouch Junior, and Sirius Black were soulmates
poly!DeathStar x fem!reader
âThis is getting confusing.â Peter whined petulantly as the Marauders stepped into the Great Hall and surveyed the various tables. âWe used to just wake up, go to the Great Hall, and sit at the Gryffindor table.â
âItâs good to broaden your horizons, wormy!â James offered with a hearty pat on Peterâs shoulder.Â
Luckily for them, it appeared that everyoneâs respective soulmates were sitting at the Slytherin table this morning.Â
Unluckily for Sirius, it appeared that everyoneâs respective soulmates were sitting at the Slytherin table this morning.Â
âNothing but the best for my girl!â Marlene proclaimed as Dorcas rolled her eyes fondly.Â
âWhat? Did you buy her the best medication for your various sexually transmitted diseases?â Sirius taunted as he sat down beside you earning him a heavy kick in the shin courtesy of Marleneâs combat boots.
âDonât be crass, Black.â Dorcas drawled. âSheâs throwing me a birthday party.â
âA party?â James chimed in. âWhen? Where? Are we invited?â
Marlene playfully (though extremely aggressively) shoved James in the shoulder, which James had to massage when she was no longer looking as Dorcas answered him.
âYes, yes. Youâve all been invited. Or, rather, your soulmates have been invited, and they were told to bring theirs, so.âÂ
Peter harrumphed as he poked around in his porridge bowl.Â
âYouâre invited too, Pete; donât worry.â Marlene called over, earning her a smile that seemed to take a bit too much effort from the Gryffindor boy.Â
âWhereâre you throwing it? Gryffindor?â Remus asked Marlene.
âNo, weâre going to have it in the Room of Requirement! Really deck the place out.â Lily answered for her, pulling out a heft binder that was well and truly over-flowing with party planning paraphernalia.Â
âThatâll be fun, yeah? I can pick you up from your common room and we can go together?â Sirius asked you then, only to hear a derisive scoff emanate from your otherside.
âFat chance, Black. I was here when the invites were shared, sheâs going with me.âÂ
You opened your mouth to interject when Barty pulled you into his side. âIsnât that right, treasure?âÂ
âI donât know why I should have to lose out on my date just because Remus took so bloody long getting out of bed this morning.â Sirius argued over the top of your head.Â
âThe early niffler gets the gold, Black. I donât make the rules.âÂ
Sirius let out an incredulous laugh at that. âYou absolutely did make that rule! And every other rule in this sodding relationship! I have to walk around on eggshells sharing her with you.â
âAnd what do I do? Hm? This isnât exactly a walk in the park for me to have to listen to your constant nagging and pestering when Iâm simply trying to enjoy some quality time with my soulmate.â Barty sneered.Â
âSheâs our soulmate.â Sirius corrected quickly.Â
âYeah well Iâd bloody like to fix that.â Barty muttered.
The entire table was stunned silent when you suddenly slammed both of your hands down onto the top of the table and stood abruptly.Â
âIâm tired of this.â You beseeched as you climbed over the bench and stared defiantly at both Sirius and Barty who were now looking up at you in shock. âI am sick and tired of the bickering and the surveillance and the trade offs and the schedules. I'm tired of it! Iâm living my life on some timetable that revolves around you,â said as you pointed at Sirius before moving your finger to Barty, âand you. And at the end of the day, thereâs no time left for me.âÂ
You took a shuddering breath but soldiered on, grabbing each of the boysâ wrists (quite painfully, mind you) and flipping them over to expose their soulmate marks.Â
âYes I am both of your soulmates and you are both mine, but you are also eachotherâs.â You released their hands and took a step back; your formidable glare falling into something more pained and vulnerable as you began picking at the skin of your nails. âAnd until you two realise that, or until you can at least pretend to get along for my sake, I donât want to hang out with either of you.â
Sirius felt like the air had been knocked right out of him as you bent down to retrieve your bag and began walking away.Â
âSit down.â You hissed as you spun around, watching both Barty and Sirius slowly lower themselves back onto the bench.Â
You looked as though you were going to turn around and leave again, but your eyes caught onto one member of the group.
âPeter.â You called much more gently than youâd been speaking to Barty and Sirius. âWould you like to go to Dorcasâ party with me?âÂ
âYes!â Peter whispered excitedly, which was nearly drowned out by the protest that was going to come from Sirius before a hand smacked itself over his mouth.Â
You smiled softly at Peter before you turned and left the Great Hall with not so much as a single glance in Siriusâ (or Bartyâs) direction.Â
James let out a slow whistle as Sirius shook the hand that was over his mouth, finding himself even more aghast to realise it had been Bartyâs.
âJunior! Get your sodding hands off of me!â
âIt wasnât exactly pleasurable for me either, Black.â Â He spat back.Â
âYou should have said something! Now sheâs going to the party with Peter.â
âYeah, yeah. We can kill him later.â Barty muttered indignantly.Â
âI donât want to kill one of my best friends! I want to go to a bloody party with my girl!âÂ
âYeah well, your girl doesnât want anything to do with you.â Marlene taunted with a smile on her face as she leaned into Dorcasâ side. âThat was kinda hot, actually.âÂ
âBugger off, McKinnon.â Barty and Sirius spat in unison, only to glare severely at one another.
âMerlinâs tits; is this what youâre every time youâre around each other?â Lily asked incredulously, to which Sirius quickly said ânoâ at the same time Barty replied âpretty much, yeahâ.Â
âShe must be a saint, then; I would have dumped the two of you by now if I were her.â Regulus added in a bored tone, never looking up from his copy of the Daily Prophet.Â
âYeah well, weâre all thanking our lucky stars not to be matched up with you, Reg.â Barty sneered, earning him a snort of laughter from Sirius before he realised what heâd been doing and immediately went back to scowling.Â
âPettigrew!â Barty called as he leaned around Sirius. â100 galleons to not attend the party with Y/N.â
Peter looked equally fearful for his life and resigned to his death. âI donât want to stand her upâŚâ
Apparently, even Barty didnât have the heart to have you - poor, shy you - attend a party solo. âBuggering fuck, fine.â He spat as he stood and grabbed his bag. âPick me up in the Slytherin common room at eight pm sharp. And for the love of Merlin, bring me a sodding boutonniere!â
The group watched as Barty disappeared around the corner and the Great Hall returned to its normal volume.Â
âHe does know this is a semi-casual event, right?â Marlene whispered to Dorcas. âBoutonniere's arenât required nor encouraged.âÂ
Dorcas simply snorted and returned her attention to her breakfast. âMarly, you come to learn to pick your battles when it comes to the likes of Barty Crouch Junior.â
But when Sirius turned his attention away from the door of the Great Hall, he saw her staring directly at him.Â
âDuly noted.â He muttered as he loaded up his plate in resignation.Â
Looks like Iâm going on a date with Junior.Â
âŚÂ
Never in a million years would Sirius have ever bet even a single knut that one would find him standing outside of the Slytherin common room dressed in his best trousers (that absolutely hugged his arse in all the best ways) and a simple button up shirt that he failed to button up all the way, leaving a sinful trail of skin along his chest.Â
Yet, here he was.
Standing outside of the Slytherin common room, dressed to impress awaiting his dateâŚwho was none other than bloody Barty Crouch Junior.Â
Sirius honest to gods thought about obliviating himself and just going back to his dorm for, say, maybe ever? But Barty chose that moment to step out through the door looking utterly delectable.Â
âSee something you like, Black?â He taunted with a haughty grin, causing Siriusâ eyes to narrow challengingly.Â
âI donât see Y/N around anywhere, so no.â
Both of them sighed as they considered each other.Â
âWell?â Barty asked then.
âWell what?â
Barty scoffed and rolled his eyes dramatically. âCirceâs tits, arenât you going to tell me I look nice? You Blackâs have horrid manners.â
âYouâve not told me I look nice!â Sirius retorted.
âI didnât run to the nearest loo to pour bleach in my eyes; youâre so hard to please.â
âMerlinâs saggy balls- letâs go.â Sirius muttered as he turned on his heel to head all the way back up the stairs he just came down towards the Room of Requirement.Â
âUhm, arenât you forgetting something?â Barty asked as he grabbed Siriusâ wrist.Â
âWhat, you want to hold hands on our way up too?â
âMy boutonniere you git.â Barty replied as he pointed to his chest.Â
Sirius gave a dramatic eye roll of his own as he pulled a small box from his pocket and returned it to its original size.Â
He carefully pulled out the selection of flowers and batted Bartyâs hands away when they reached for them.
âWhat in the bloody hell are you doing?â
âYou donât pin your own corsage, Junior.â Sirius responded tiredly. âPurebloods raise gentlemen afterall.â
Barty fell quiet at that as he watched Siriusâ face as he pinned the flowers to his black button up.Â
âGreen? âCause Iâm in Slytherin?â Barty asked derisively as Sirius admired his work.Â
Siriusâ eyes flit up to Bartyâs before falling back to the corsage.Â
âGreen because of your eyes, Junior.â Sirius admitted quietly before he turned on his heel and headed up the stairs. âHurry along; I want Y/N to see us walk in together looking like perfect tens.âÂ
And though Sirius couldnât see it, he could certainly feel Bartyâs gaze fall down to his perfect arse as he took two stairs at a time. âSpeak for yourself, Black. Iâm an eleven.âÂ
The party was well underway by the time Sirius and Barty made it up to the Room of Requirement which was, indeed, well set up for the party.Â
Sirius knew it was likely more thanks to Lily than it was to Marlene, but he also knew Lily would likely let Marlene take all the credit for it.
âWhere is she?â Barty asked, leaning into Siriusâ side so he could speak into his ear. Sirius fought back a shiver as he made for the familiar sight of the bar table. âNo idea, but Iâm gonna need a drink.âÂ
They found you not long afterwards; Siriusâ heart nearly stuttering to a stop when he spotted you twirling around with Peter looking so carefree as you threw your head back in laughter and caused Peter to do the same.
And by the way Bartyâs jaw fell slack, he was sure he felt much the same.Â
âSheâs kind of perfect, isnât she?â Sirius asked then, watching as you and Peter reorganised yourselves for a new song.
âKind of perfect? Youâre way off, Black.â Barty shot back, but when Sirius turned to give him an incredulous glare for being so damned contradictory all of the time, he was surprised to see a soft smile on his lips.
Ah, Sirius thought, humour - I know a thing or two about that.Â
âShould we show her what sheâs missing tonight?â He asked Barty then, ridding himself of his cup and holding his hand out to his date for a dance.Â
âItâd be my pleasure.â Barty said with a smile as he accepted Siriusâ hand and followed him to the dancefloor.Â
âIs she looking at us?â Sirius asked as he fought every single urge to look at you.
âHow could she not? Weâre the hottest couple here.â Barty responded easily, surprising a bark of laughter from Sirius.
âDid you just call me attractive, Junior?âÂ
âI may find you completely horrid and annoying but Iâm not blind, Black.â Barty bit back, though Sirius could see a blush forming across his face.Â
âDonât you two make a handsome couple.â Lily offered as she floated by, offering Sirius a wink as she headed for you.Â
âKeep your eyes off my date, you trollop!â Sirius teased with a smile, relishing in the pleasantly surprised look adorning your face when you spotted the two of them dancing together.Â
âSheâs looking!â Sirius whispered at Barty then.Â
âDonât blow it, Black.â Barty hissed back, pulling Sirius flush against him.Â
Sirius rolled his eyes (albeit fondly) and opted to rest his head against Bartyâs shoulder.
âDoes this mean the two of you are, like, together now?â James blurted then, surprising Sirius and causing him to straighten up and break away from Barty as if heâd been caught doing something naughty.
âWhat!? Of course not.â Barty snapped quickly.
âDonât be ridiculous.â Sirius added.
Jamesâ eyes flit between the two of them as his brows inched closer together. âReally? âCause it sort of look-â
âWell, you should probably get your glasses checked, Potter, because what it looked like was two blokes who share a soulmate working hard to ensure their soulmate doesnât up and leave them.â
âRight!â Sirius agreed quickly.Â
âListen; do I think Black always looks like an off-duty model? Sure.âÂ
âAnd do I think Junior is by far the hottest bloke here? Sure.â
âExactly! I could do much worse than Black, here.âÂ
âAnd do we make one hell of an attractive couple? Yes.â Sirius paused when his yes was chorused by Barty. âBut thatâs all it is.â
âThatâs all it is.â Barty agreed with a shrug of his shoulders.Â
James considered the two of them a moment longer before letting out an inelegant snort. âSure; whatever you say.â
âHe doesnât get it.â Sirius said simply then, turning back to Barty to continue their dance.
âYouâve got dumb friends; canât even understand two attractive people not being completely revolted by one another.â
And Sirius couldnât help but agree; James really was dumb if he couldnât see that Barty was, indeed, the hottest bloke at this party (Sirius excluded, of course).
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#sirius black#barty crouch junior#soulmate au#deathstar#poly!deathstar#poly!deathstar x reader#poly!deathstar x you#sirius black x barty crouch jr#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#barty crouch jr x reader#barty crouch jr x you#barty crouch jr#barty crouch jr x sirius black#starkiller#bitchkiller#poly!starkiller#poly!bitchkiller#I don't like those ship names though#also#the sb x bcj tags both already existed#hahahahaha#ellecdc fics
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Ralak te Sepwan ieykâitan: Special Episode IV
Seed of Life
This is @zestys-stuff 's OC. All credits to this character goes to this beautiful, talented artist. Thank you again for allowing me to explore and create with him!
Masterlist ; Rut/Heat/Knotting Info
đ minors, do not interact đ
Characters: Metkayina!Ralak (24) x Sully!Omaticaya!Reader (19)
Warnings: nsfw, fluff, angst, early pregnancy smut (will be forewarned before it happens), daddy daughter drama, Ralak being little rough because reader wonât stop teasing him, Ralak literally has blue balls, ball play, blowjob, brief thigh fucking, likely incorrect naâvi, teacher/student dynamics/roleplay, p in v, quickie, squirting, masturbation, dirty talk, sexual tension, age gapÂ
Disclaimer: This chapter entails pregnancy and sexual intimacy during early pregnancy. I include a warning directly before the smut happens in the case that you want to indulge in this chapter but arenât necessarily up for the pregnancy smut.Â
Word Count: 10k sorry
Requested: Yes || No
Authorâs Note: thank you guys for always being so patient with me. i love yall too the moon and back <3 happy holidays and a happy new year! also, Iâve realised that I unintentionally decided that Kiri is not involved in this series (i dunno honestly, itâs just occuring to me that Iâve never really mentioned her before and it feels difficult to incorporate her at this point i suppose). It seems like we (reader) have taken her place in this au in regards to being jakes adopted âbabygirlâ (nothing else thoughâno superpowers or anything loool). Â
Synopsis: After telling Ralak that he's going to be a father, the reality dawns on you that you need to break the news to your own father.
<- Previous -> Next
This pregnancy shouldnât be much of a surprise to you, honestly. How could you not be? After such a breeding it would be a miracle if you werenât pregnant. Yet the news wasnât quite sinking in, even when Tsireya looked at you with wide eyes and spelled it out for you. But now that youâre walking towards the tsahĂŹk, youâre faced with reality and it begins to sink in as you count each step you take.Â
Forty-twoâŚÂ Â
The words that rolled off the tarsemâs tongue echo in your skull. Â
Forty-threeâŚÂ Â
Etching themselves into the bone, leaving you with no space to deny the truth.Â
Forty-fourâŚÂ
âYou are with child.âÂ
The ringing in your ears stops as your vision refocuses on the stone cold expression of the TsahĂŹk. Her voice is unfaltering and clear as it delivers the news to your ears a second time. Bowing to the taller woman, you sweep three fingers away from your forehead and turn your heel to walk away. But before you can take two steps she announces something that makes your ears stand tall. Â
âA boy.â Â
Her two harshly spoken words strike through your chest, a sinking feeling now brewing in the pit of your stomach. You stop dead in your tracks and lift your head that was once tilted down to your feet. Things become even more real, having you force down a wad of your spit to keep your vision from splitting again. Youâre barely able to use your voiceâyour mouth partially open and your tongue rolling from the churn of your tummy. Â
âThank you, Ronal.â You manage to squeak a decibel or two over a whisper, dropping your head again to lock your stare to your feet before fleeing the now-crowding scene. You overhear the people murmuring the news as you scurry away to your marui pod. Â
âThe forest girl expects the firstborn of the villageâs best warriorâ;Â Â
âShe wonât make it out alive!â;Â
âDid you hear? She will birth the first of a new kind. A kind with demon bloodâ. Â
If your legs could go any quicker, they would. Â
A child grows in your womb now. A child for the man you loveâRalak. The man who deserves it most. Youâre scared and excited all at once. Proud to bear a son for such a notable and fearsome man. But afraid of how your family will take to the news. Â
This was your first month of being a mated pair, and youâve already succumbed to your most primordial instinct to mate. And with what everyone is already whispering, youâre scared of much more than that. Is what they say true? Is this a risky thing? Will he be teased for being different? Will he be rejected from the clan? Â
Does Ralak⌠even want this? Â
You both hadnât even sat down and spoken about the possible consequences of such a cosmic eventâyour synced cycles. What if he hadnât meant all the things he said? Or if he really just couldnât prevent the things that he did during his rut? How would he react if that were the case? Â
Your mind is running at a hundred clicks an hour and your nerves are wringing your stomach that it takes the hot sand spilling through the cracks of your toes to make you realise that youâre already home. Â
And there he is, in all his glory. Â
Doing nothing other than sharpening his damn spear. Sitting on his knees, leaned back with his flexed abs and gathered brows, concentrating on his taskâblissfully unaware of the gossip spreading throughout the clan. The sight brings serenity to the white noise in your head, leaving nothing but the crash of the waves and the splash of the ilus off in the distance. IÂ Â
Ralakâs ears twitch as he senses your presence, but he remains focused on the stroke of his whetstone against the blade. He can feel your apprehension from where he sits, and he can already tell what youâre here for. Yet he chooses to keep his appearance no less than stoic, but not enough to be intimidating. Â
âTanhĂŹ.â He hums low enough that you strain to hear him. Â
âI need to speak with you.â You utter, wetting your dry lips with a quick swipe of your tongue. You stand there fidgeting with your fingers as you await a reply from your husband. Itâs almost mortifying how silent this man can actually be. You see the slight tilt of his head and his ear perk up to listen closely. Taking this as your cue to speak, you try to find the words to say. Â
How do I say this? Â
Ralak is a simple man, perhaps itâs better to give it to him straight. An easy, âI carry your unborn sonâ, would do, right? You begin to gnaw on the dry skin on your bottom lip as you think. But his silence is really getting to you today. How can he sit there so⌠unbothered? Not even a glance thrown your way or an eyelash batted. Maybe you should just spit it out â âyou got me pregnantâ. Â
âHm?â He lets out a muffled grunt, swiping the whetstone against the spearhead. It sounds innocent. Like heâs just immersed in a task and couldnât quite bring himself to completely stop.Â
âWe no longer need to prepare for my heat.â You blurt out, not even knowing where the words came from. You witness his spine straighten and him quickly stilling his movements. Â
Little did you know his heart gallops at the speed of a direhorse, thumping wildly between his ribs as he prepares himself to finally hear you utter the words. Oh, how he had been waiting for your sweet voice to sing the news. But he realises that you seem to need an extra push to say them. Â
âAnd why is that?â Ralak husks, still unmoving. Â
You wait for him to turn around. To look your way. Something. Â
But⌠nothing. Â
âIâm pregnant.âÂ
Ralaks heart skips a beat and his breath catches in his throat. A grin spreads from ear to ear, so strong and wide that if you were really paying attention you would have caught the way his ears stand at full height. Â
But you were too busy fighting the bubble of the blood in your thumping heart, trying to keep your frustration to a minimum. You had expected more. For him to turn around, at the very least. All you could hear was the da-dump and the silence between you two. Until you couldnât take it anymore.Â
Perhaps itâs all the hushed chatter from earlier or maybe itâs just the new surge of hormones and out-of-whack pheromones but you canât help the burn of your eyes as they fill with tears. Â
âSo w-what? Not even a glance my way? You knock me up and have nothing to s-say for it?â You choke back your heated tears of frustration, Ralak now huffing a vehement sigh. âYouâre not even surprised, orââ Your blubbering is cut short by your husband's quick movement. Â
Ralak instantaneously brings himself to his feet and storms over to you, towering over your petite frame. Now heâs peering down at you, dark, smouldering eyes holding the most intimidating gaze with you as he closes the distance between your bodies. Heâs still damp from seeing to the ilus this morning that when your chest touches his cold, bare stomach, it hardens your nipples into stiff peaks.  Â
âSurprised?â He rasps, his large hand flying to your lower stomach, gently pressing into it. Heaving shoulders slowing as he steadies his breathing, Ralak lowers his head to brush his lips against the shell of your earâÂ
âDo you not think I had every intention of putting this baby inside of you?âÂ
Hearing this spoken in such an assertive tone sends shivers up your spineâRalak knows exactly how to handle you and your⌠sensitivity. He always has. Your tail sways uncontrollably behind you, earning a well concealed smirk from the giant before you. Itâs always been one of his favourite parts of you, but nowâoh, now he has a new favourite part of you. Â
Your soon-to-be swelling belly. Â
âI have known.â He admits through a whisper, smoothing his entire palm over your budding womb, planting a quick kiss on your temple. âYour scent⌠it has changed, tanhĂŹ.â Â
âWhat?â You whisper, almost pulling away from his tender touches to look at him. âAnd you didnât say anything?â Â
âI wanted to hear you say it. I have been waiting⌠to hear you say it.â Heâs the one to pull away this time, looking you deeply in the eyes. His free hand raises, using his thumb to wipe away a tear seeping from the corner of your eye. âPlease. Do not cry.â Â
You donât even know what to say. Yet again, Ralak leaves you speechlessâwith trembling lips and a swelling throat. Â
âAnd you are actually eating the payoang niktsyey [fish wraps] I cook.â Â
âWhat?â You snort, letting loose a sudden, nasally giggle. You drop your smile and try to fix a serious expression on your face. âWhat do you mean? I always eat your payoang niktsyey [fish wraps]â Â
Ralak laughs, his three fingers tucking hair behind your ear, âI see you throw them to the ilus, tanhĂŹ. I am no fool.â Â
You laugh again, snotty-nosed and teary-eyed, sniffling when the uncontrollable giggling fit ends. âIt seems that our son enjoys your cooking, âlak.â You bubbler with a wobbly smile, blinking harshly to clear your vision. Â
Ralaks eyes bulge as they frantically search yoursâa beaming smile spreading across his lips, his pointed teeth on full display. âSon?â He exhales softly, his left brow bone jumping ever so slightly. Â
All you can do is nod, letting your wobbly smile morph into a grin. The tears come back like they never left, twice as much and even hotter than before. You swear you see Ralaks eyes gloss over too, glistering in the sunlight. Â
Ralak sinks to his knees, coming face to face with your soft tummy.Â
âMy prrnen [baby]. My âevengan [son; boy child]. It is your sempu [daddy].â He whispers, heated lips slightly pressed against your silken skin. Chin tucked to your chest, you watch in awe, straining to listen to his hushed whispers. âI have wanted you for so long.â Â
Hearing thatâoh, how hearing that makes you feel. You feel warm inside, your heart so full all your earlier fears melt away. Ralak looks up at you, azure blue eyes filled with nothing but love and adorationâgratitude and admiration. Â
âMy sweet tanhĂŹ. You have made me the man I have always wanted to be.â He croons at you, planting a long, soft kiss on your stomachâeyes still locked with yours. âAnd I thank you for that. NĂŹtâiluke [forever; never-endingly]â Â
And just like that, the butterflies you felt when you first laid eyes on this man come rushing in, flapping their wings at full force. Â
âI am your mate.â You sputter out a little, tiny sob. âItâs what I-I am supposed to do.â Â
Ralak stands up, holding eye contact with you the entire way. Â
âYou owe me nothing. It is an honour that you carry my unborn, y/n.â His hand leaves your stomach to grasp your hand, intertwining his thickset fingers with yours. âYou will be a nawm [great] mother.âÂ
âAnd you will be the best father.â You choke back your sobs, struggling to get your words out. A comfortable silence passes, where you both immerse yourselves into one anotherâs touch. Until Ralak witnesses your expression morph into something of worry. Â
âWhat is it?â He asks in a hushed voice, keeping his tone calm and cool. Â
âSpeaking of⌠fathers.â The column of your throat undulates when you gulp hard, âHow will I tell mine?âÂ
Ralak swallows, too. The thought had crossed his mind a few times over the past week. He saw the answer as simple â tell him. Ralak holds a lot of respect for your father, looking up at him as a superior given his status and skill as a warrior. And although heâs slightly intimidated by your father, Ralak sees this respect as mutualâtherefore, it should be returned. Surely, this will go smoothly if you both remain polite. Â
Right? Â
âWe tell him. Together.â Ralak grasps your hand once more, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze, his heavy accent shining through now that heâs high on emotions, âI keep you safe. Both of you.â  Â
ââÂ
Both you and Ralak make your way down the shore towards the webbing of overlapping mangrove roots. Though you insisted on breaking the news to your family by yourself, he was adamant that he accompanies you. You couldnât bear the thought of your father lashing out on Ralak, especially in front of the others. You tried to explain that to him, but he simply shook his head and tightened the clasp of his saya (knife sheath) on his hip.  Â
You make the trek by foot, wanting a little more time to think about what you were going to say, and he ensured to stay right behind you. Quite literallyâlooming behind you like some sort of bodyguard. Every naâvi you pass are quick to avert their gaze elsewhere when they see the giant you have as a shadow. They tried not to look to begin with, but it was a rare sight to see you two so close together among the clan. Â
Their hushed whispers are kept to an absolute minimum but Ralak hears them nonetheless. It doesnât bother him. Not anymore, at least. It used to bother him before he had met youâhearing the chatter of the gossip about his voluntary six year celibacy despite being the chiefâs right hand man. And now that the murmurs entail nothing but his relationship with you, he could care less. Â
But then he hears the indistinct mumble about the babe budding in your womb. Itâs something along the lines of âit being some demon hybridâ. The comment alone has Ralak screeching to a halt, his head snapping in the direction of a stocky, young warrior in training. One that Tonowari had relentlessly urged Ralak to teach until he begrudgingly gave him a couple combat lessons. Â
Ralakâs eyes narrow and sharpen, snapping down to shoot a threatening leer down at him. That's all it took for the stumpy naâvi to drop his head in shame and scurry away with his younger companions. Â
Sensing that Ralak is no longer on your tail, you turn around, half-expecting him to be five steps behind. Instead, heâs right where you left him, with a reassuring smile and an extended hand gesturing you to âcontinueâ. You return a light hearted smile and spin around, taking another step towards your family marui. Â
ââÂ
âTo what do we owe the visit?â Neteyam smiles as he greets you at the marui door, arms splayed out for a hug. You smile and slump into your brother, allowing him to envelope you in a warm embrace. âWe havenât seen you in what feels like weeks, sis.â Â
âBecause we havenât.â Loâak adds, lurking behind his bigger brother, arms crossed over his chest with a grin on his face. Â
âHey Loâ.â You say in a low voice, smiling at him as you let go of your big brother. Ralak silently stands at the marui door, head awkwardly tilted in an attempt to fit himself in such a tight space.Â
âHey, sissy.â Loâak throws an arm around your neck, patting your shoulder a few times as he walks you further inside and away from Ralak. âWhatâs up with the shadow?â He doesnât even try to quieten his voice as he nudges his chin in your husband's direction. Â
You force a little laugh, unwrapping his arm from around your neck so you can inch away back to your âshadowâ. You back up until you bump into his solid build, making a muffled thump when you collide. He steadies you by the shoulders, lidded eyes flicking down to check that youâre okay. He can sense your nervousness.Â
âIâwe⌠have something to tell you guys.â You begin, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. âWhereâs everyone else?â Â
Loâakâs eyes squint, brows furrowing as the gears in his brain grind twice as fast to figure out what you could possibly be calling a family meeting for. âNo fucking way. Already?â He blurts out when he finally puts two and two together. Your eyes widen when they dart over to him, catching sight of the shit eating grin plastered to his face.  Â
Fuck, is this skxawng going to spoil it for me? You think to yourself, apparently loud enough for Ralak to hear. He squeezes your shoulders before sliding his hands down the full length of your arms and letting go. âMawey [calm].â He breathes, his head still hanging low. You look behind you, tilting your head up to meet his comforting gaze. Â
âHey, babygirl.â Jakeâs voice snaps your attention back down, having you look your father in the eye. His smile is as wide as his arms as he approaches you for a hug. Â
âDad. Hey.â You whisper, returning the hug and snuggling into his chest. You bask in the moment, lingering onto how things are nowâbefore you drop the bomb on him. Â
âI missed ya.â Jake chuckles, rubbing your back. He finally lifts his head and sees your âshadowâ hovering a little closer than needed. âJeez, let her breathe, boy. Sheâs just hugginâ her old man.â Ralak keeps his head hung and takes a small but noticeable step back. Jake gives you a quick peck on the head as he begins to pull away. âWhat have yaâ been upââ Â
Jake cuts himself short, leaning back in to smell your hair. His eyebrows gather when he recognizes the familiar scent. Neytiri has smelled similarly a few times before. Jake grinds his teeth, scrunched brows and narrow eyes giving away his current state of mind. His hands slide down your arms, gripping then as he looks you dead in the eye. âY/n. You got somethinâ to tell me?âÂ
âDadââ You swallow down the knot in your throat, already getting choked up. Â
Jake's lips purse into a thin line as his death-stare immediately averts to Ralak. And for what feels like an eternity, nothing but silence fills the room. The tension in the air is almost suffocating. Jakes eyeing Ralak down whilst Ralaks stare is locked on the way heâs holding you. Â
You glance over at your brothers. Oneâs obviously got it figured out, arms crossed, shaking his head with a smug look on his face. And one is completely cluelessâpoor thing. You look back at your father who is now seething, leer averted back to you as he exerts all his energy into being patient. Â
âWhatâs going on? Guys?â Neteyam breaks the silence with a worried tone to his voice. His eyes bounce from person to person, until they land on his brother. Â
âHe knocked her up.â Loâaks whispers harshly, not even trying to be discreet. Neteyams brows raise and now he is, too, staring at you. You feel all the blood drain from your face and suddenly youâre extremely light in the head.  Â
Mortified is an understatement. Â
Everyone is clearly waiting for you to confirm it. But youâre having such a difficult time saying the two silly little words. The pressure is on now, you could even see Ralak straining to hold his tongue. You finally muster up a cowardly nod, and immediately your fathers grip intensifies, squeezing your arms firm and tight. Heâs looking down at you with eyes of disbelief and somewhat disappointment, frantically searching yours to see if this is really the truth. You let loose a low hiss, wincing when you feel the pinch of his grip. Â
Not even another second passes when you hear the slap of your husbandâs large hands grabbing ahold of your fatherâs wrists. Â
âShe is pregnant.â Â
A deep, but low growl rips from Ralaks chest. In other words, ânever lay your hands on a pregnant womanâ. Ralak dwarfs Jake as he inches in a little closer, grasping his wrists just firm enough to send this message. Â
âYeah. Got it, bud.â Jake returns a growl through his teeth and tightened lips. He shifts his position slightly, eyes flicking down to acknowledge what his son in law is trying to get across. Nonetheless, Jake stands his ground. âGet your hands off me.â Â
Ralak tries to regain his composure, but his protective instincts have just about gone haywire. The urge to protect has never been so intense before. Itâs like his soul knows that thereâs just more to protect. Â
More at stake.Â
Ralak looks down at your fathers hands once more, silently making his point clear. He holds eye contact with Toruk makto whilst he remains unmoving. Â
âLakâŚâ You squeak a warning to your husband, who only flutters his jaw as a response. Loâak and Neteyam are on edge, both concerned that their father has a grip on you, but even more so that Ralak has a grip on their father. They watch intently, trying to decipher if and when they need to intervene. Â
To everyoneâs surprise, Jake exhales harshly through his nose and gently pulls away from you, but wrenches his wrists away from Ralakâs grasp. âSorry, kid.â Jake spits an apology, readjusting his position to be directly in front of Ralak. âCare to explain how this happened so damn quick?âÂ
âDad!â You shout in disbelief, wedging yourself back in between the two. Â
âYou know what? Donât even answer that.â Jake snaps.  Â
âYou know you are really no one to talk! Whereâs mom? Mom!â You go on the tips of your toes, leaning from side to side to look for her behind both the two male naâvi. Â
ââxcuse me?â Jake purposely blocks your view by bobbing his head wherever yours goes. âI am still your father and you will not speak to me thatââ Jake steps to the left to avoid Ralak and walk towards you. Ralak quickly adjusts himself to be the wall between you and your father, not allowing Jake the chance to even finish his sentence. Ralak is now looking down at Jake with a stoic expression, trying his best not to come off intimidating or challenging in any way. Â
All to no avail. Â
âYou got a problem with me, boy?â Jake grumbles through his clenched jaw, getting in Ralaks face now. Â
âNo. Only keeping my word, sir.â Ralak simply responds. Â
Jakes brought back to the very moment he made Ralak give him his word. His word that heâd never let a thing happen to his baby girl. The night you completed your iknimaya. The night he granted Ralak the permission to mate with you. Â
The night Ralak took your virginity.Â
Jake stalls for a few seconds, taken aback by Ralaks behaviour but a little impressed at the same time. Jake's expression softens upon realizing that Ralak is just protecting his mateâjust as he does Neytiri, especially during her pregnancies. Â
But thereâs no way in hell that Jake will be the first one to back down here. Â
âMom!â You call for her once more, hoping that sheâll swoop in and save the day. Â
Neytiri rushes in, hand on her hip where she keeps her dagger sheathedâworry and concern etched into her features. She analyses the situation, taking in the scene of her own mate standing face to face with yours. She glances over at you, seeing the panic in your eyes and the hand on your stomach that you didnât even know you had placed there. Slowly walking up to the two male naâvi, she places a firm hand on her mates chest, pushing him away from Ralak. âMaâ Jake. What is happening here?â Â
Jakeâs pressing his lips firmly together, not wanting to say the words. He shakes his head a little, huffing through his nostrils before placing a hand on his hip. His other hand extends in your direction, as if he were pointing out the obvious. Yet he remains choked up and speechless, his hand falling to his thigh as he gives up. Â
Finally, he mumbles, âGo on. Tell her.â Â
Neytiri looks back at you, eyes trailing back down to your hand thatâs mindlessly resting on your stomach as she awaits for your answer. You feel the burn of her eyes, yanking away your hand when it becomes too much. Being the daughter of Moâat, a tsahik, Neytiri needed nothing more than a quick glance and sniff to know whatâs going on. âIs this true?â Â
âYes, mom. It is true. I am.â You say in a defeated tone of voice. Ralak shifts himself, settling close beside you now rather than in front of you. He always had an even greater respect for your mother. Â
Neytiriâs expression only grows softer, until there's no trace of concern left in her face. Her smile is downturned but her eyes are bright, glistening with joy as she pulls you in for a warm embrace. Â
âIt is a blessing from Eywa, my child.â Â
She pulls away from you, now looking over to Ralak. Neytiri lays a gentle hand on Ralaks upper bicep, âSeykxel sĂŹ nitram [congratulations] .â Ralak signs âI see youâ to his mother in law, exchanging a light hearted smile with her. Â
It was no secret that Neytiri longed to be a grandmother. Her days of children are over now, although she was expecting her eldest, Neteyam, to give her a grandchild first. But Ralak â Ralak is a remarkable, mighty warrior and hunter. The oloâeyktans right hand man, and undoubtedly the best fisherman in the village. Â
In fact, Ralak was one of the first people Neytiri took a liking to after she adjusted to the way of water. She always felt that he was a good suitor for her daughter. Â
âAre you kiddinâ me? Itâs barely been two months!â Jake scoffs, shaking his head. Â
âAnd a day for us, Jake.â Neytiri tries her best to keep a calm, but firm voice. âThey are a mated pair, they are having a family now. It is Eywaâs will.â Â
Jake quiets himself, reflecting on his harsh ways. He sighs, loudly. His eyes finally glance down to what everyone in the room has been looking at, now staring at your protective hand that mindlessly lay over your womb once again. He grits his teeth, averting his stare to the ground, eyeing the charred wood of the fire pit. His tongue clicks as he parts his lips, mutteringâÂ
âI know⌠I know, alright? Sheâs justââ He looks up at Neytiri, then Ralak, and then you. âSheâs my babygirl.â Â
Itâs his way of saying, âI just want to protect my family.âÂ
âDad. I am butâbut Iâm not your baby anymore. Iâm not a kid.â You croak, finding it hard to hold eye contact with him. âYour grandson is the new baby of this family.â Â
Jake tries to fight the way his eyebrows scrunch together, it was like hearing about the news of his firstborn son all over again. He exhales slowly, nodding his head and extending his arms to hold you. His warmth envelopes you completely, leaving no room for any cold or harsh thoughts and feelings to linger. Â
âYou keep âem safe.â Jake's chin presses into the crown of your head as he mutters the words to Ralak. Ralak had always had a hard time understanding Jake's native slang, but this he understoodâ loud and clear. Â
âAlways.â Ralak answers firmly. Â
Your safety has been, is and will always be his number one priority. Â
Jake nods once, squeezing you a little tighter before letting go fully. âSeykxel sĂŹ nitram [congratulations], you two.âÂ
âThank you, dad.â You smile whilst Ralak bows his head. Neteyam and Loâak finally come over for their hugs, making a comment of their own as they release you from their grasps. Â
âIâm gonna teach him everything I know.â Loâaks grin is unnerving and a little sinister, giving away the trouble that heâs already trying to get your son into. Â
âPlease donât.â You joke back with your brother, even though youâre being dead serious. Â
Neteyam jabs an elbow into his brother's rib cage, disciplining him for his mischief. âAgh â do not worry, Uncle TeTe will keep him in check.â Â
âWell, thatâs a relief.â You say softly with a smile on your face, ââUncle TeTeâ. I like that.â Â
âHey, donât forget about âUncle LoâLoâ.â Loâak chimes in. Â
âEh. Doesnât have the same ring to it, you know? What do you think, lak?â You jester, looking up at him to be met with a slight smirk. Â
âVery⌠hiyĂŹk [strange; funny].â Ralaks smirk pulls at his lips a little more. âBut, at least it is not âakâ-akâ.â Â
You swear you hear a little chuckle from everyone in the room. All except Loâak, who is staring at Ralak with a deadpan expression, arms crossed defensively over his chest. It feels like an eternity passes until Loâak finally booms with laughter, extending his arm out to Ralak, who gaily reciprocates and meets Loâaksâ with a smack. Â
âI like this bodyguard of yours, y/n. He actually has a sense of humour.â Â
You let loose a scoff and roll your eyes, about ready to wrap this whole thing up and lie down in bed. Itâs seemingly obvious, seeing that everyone is giving you space as they take note of your restless body language and bowed shoulders. Â
âIf you are tired, you should rest.â Neytiri advises, just as you feel Ralaks hand tuck under your arm to support your weight. âYour body is working hard right now.âÂ
âYeah, mom. I think I need to lie down for a little.â You mumble, leaning into your mate a little more. Â
Your family practically ushers you out, encouraging you to get some rest and to get off your feet. Ralak walks close to you on the way home, keeping with the pace you set to the tee â only intervening with a hand to your hip when necessary. Â
And when you finally slump into bed, your eyelids flutter shut before Ralak can settle himself beside you. Â
ââsmut warningââÂ
You rouse to Ralak drawing the curtain of your marui, blocking out the orange hue of the last eclipse. It dawns on you that youâve slept out most of the day. You didnât even realise you were so tired to begin with. Â
âYou should have woken me earlier. I slept out the day.â You mumble, sitting up in bed and lightly kicking off the sheets. Â
Ralak turns around, surprised that youâre awake. He curses himself under his breath; he was hoping to keep you sleeping by drawing the curtains but instead he did the opposite. Â
âYou needed to rest.â He says, making his way over to sit on the edge of the bed. âYou have been more tired recently.â Â
âYeah?â You snort, ââŚand what else have I been, sir know-it-all?âÂ
Ralak chuckles, his eyes falling to your stomach. ââŚa little more hungry.â Â
You smile a little, remembering his fish wrap comment from earlier. Â
But then you witness his half-lidded eyes glaze over with something of⌠wanton. It takes a second to realise that theyâre no longer staring at your belly. Theyâre staring at your tewng [loincloth]. More specifically, the mound imprinting it. Â
Itâs the way your pussy is being so tightly squeezed by the thin cloth covering it. Itâs the one thing that Ralak canât help himself from indulging in admiring. Then his eyes snap away, unexpectedly meeting yours. The stare heâs giving you has your thighs rubbing together and your lower tummy tingling. Â
ââŚa little more tempting.â His voice is thick like honey, laced with lust and arousal. Â
In every way. From the way you fill out your top more, to your scentâyouâre becoming more Â
irresistible the farther along you progress. Your heart beats a little harder between your ribs as you swallow the saliva pooling in your mouth. His lecherous gaze is fixed, blue eyes piercing into yours. Itâs been too long since heâs been inside you that it aches. Â
But heâs been patient. Â
Especially since the day he figured out you were pregnant. With the way you smelt he found it hard to keep his distance at times but nonetheless, he did it. But the truth is that you havenât had penetrative sex since your cycles synced. Â
To be clear, he took care of you just fine. Â
Tending to your needs whenever you initiated intimacy with him but he never took it further than his fingers and mouth. After seeing you so battered by his own hands he found it hard to put you in a position that could garner a similar result again. Â
For a while, he lost trust within himself. Â
That he no longer had the capacity for self control. Not only did he feel like he didnât deserve it, but he never expected you to return the pleasure either. He had already taken you on his own terms. Repeatedly. Â
Ruthlessly. Â
So when you ate one to many of his payoang niktsyey [fish wraps] â when the new earthiness of your scent wafted past his nose â he knew. He knew it stuck. He knew your womb swelled with his child as each day passed. And the urge to protect only swelled with it. Â
He became even more gentle with you. Handling you with care when your skin softened and your hips became a little fuller. Ensuring he had excess when he cooked. Weaving an extra thick blanket for you to sleep with when he was off on duty with Tonowari. Â
It ached most when heâd come home just to see it kicked off onto the floor, with you on your stomach and your leg propped up just right. Your loincloth would always shift to the side, just enough to expose plump folds that innocently peek through the seam of the thin fabric. Fuck, it more than ached. It made him tender. Throbbing in his own tewng. Â
Just like now. Â
He dares not to break the steady, intent stare. Or else he may steal another glance at the softness between your thighs. But he can see in your eyes that you feel similarly. You always give him that look before doing something âtroublesomeâ. You break eye contact first, your eyes now landing on his tewng. Â
Fuck.Â
Your eyes widen a little when you catch sight of the growing, thick bulge in his loincloth. Your gaze locks onto it, taking in every detail. From the thick stripes on his thighs to the way the twine of his loincloth is cutting into his v-lines. You can even see the outline of the crown of his cock. Â
His stomach rises and falls from his uneven breathing, and his abs pop out one by one as he leans further backâsupporting his torso with his arms behind his back. He was never shy about his body, and he certainly isnât now. Â
âThen, why do you resist me?â Though it's a question, it doesnât sound like one when the words drip off your lips. Your voice is soft and feigned with innocence, yet you're shuffling to get on all fours to crawl over to him. You truthfully donât care for the answer, you knew that it would be the same old songââhe doesnât want to hurt youâ.Â
âI hurt you.â He says coldlyâsimply, glancing at the fading scar on your shoulder as you settle yourself on your knees beside him. He watches as your hand finds purchase on his knee, and slides up his thigh. âAnd now that you are with child⌠Iâhaahâ. Heâs cut short with a shaky breath and slight jolt when you cup his bulge with a bit of force. He looks down at your hand, dainty and slender, barely grasping half of whatâs under his tewng. Â
âYou worry about me too much.â You mumble, more focused on the speed at which his cock pulses at. âYet still, never yourself.â You feel around, sliding your palm up and down its length, earning a rough exhale from Ralak in return. His lidded eyes dart back over to you, taking in the sight of you almost bent over his lap. Â
âThat so?â His voice is thick and gruff. Â
âMhm. âm always telling you that, arenât I?â You hum softly, slowly moving your hand further down between his legs, firmly cupping his balls. Theyâre heavy in your hand, hot to the touch andâÂ
Eywa.Â
âTheyâre swollen.â You whisper breathlessly, your glossy eyes meeting him with concern. They dart back to his crotch, your hand now fumbling with the twine of his tewng, hurriedly trying to unravel the knot to get the suffocating fabric off him.Â
ââtis fine.â He winces as he spits out the words, watching you pinch him a little while struggling with the taut material. Â
Ignoring his words, you continue with your task, a bit more gently now. And when the knot comes undone, the twine falls off his hips and the tewng loosens with it. You tug it off him and see that theyâre not only puffed up but also darker in colour. Theyâre firm and pulled close to his body, perfectly round and stripes well-defined. Â
Shamefully, it turns you on to see his balls so full. Â
Just the thought of them being so swollen with his seed that theyâre aching and throbbing to empty themselves inside youâfuck, itâs making your teeth grit. You sit back into the dip of your feet and stare as your breathing becomes heavier. The more you look the more you realize that theyâre pulling tighter and tighter towards his core. You look up at him, a little surprised. Your arousal is etched into your features and itâs more than obvious in your body language. You want to know how theyâd feel in your mouth. How theyâd taste. Â
If theyâd even fit. Â
Without another passing second you bend over his lap, tail high in the air and legs spreadâthe overpowering scent of your arousal filling the air. You shove your face between his thighs, inhaling deeply his musky scent. You let out a breath of desire, one that sounds nothing short of pleasure and satisfaction. He smells too good. You canât help yourself but give his firm balls a quick, kitten lick. The giant above you holds back his chuckle, finding your behaviour cute and honestly a little amusing. Feeling like the butt of a joke, you firmly grasp his length and tug it upwards, causing his balls to pull even tighter. Â
âY/n.â He hisses your name, adjusting his legs to rid himself of the strained feeling. You wet your lips with a quick swipe of your tongue, and press your cheek against them. Theyâre hotâheating up a degree higher the more you tease him. Just as you pull your cheek away and manage to fit one of them into your mouth, his hand flies to the back of your head, balling your hair into his fist. Â
âYou need not toââ your tail curls and the tip of it tickles against his chest, ââhaahâŚdo this.â Ralak huffs out a sigh of frustration it seems, looking down at you with somewhat of a predatory leer. You pop off with a pwah, catching your breath and turning your head. Â
You both share an intent stare with one another, one that feels more challenging than anything. Heâs insistent that heâs undeserving of this, and youâre insistent that he must be taken care of. His grip loosens on your hair, until he lets you go completely. Â
âShhâŚshh.â You shush him, eyes narrowing as they remain locked onto him. You slowly slide off the bed one leg at a time, sinking to your knees and settling yourself between his legsânow looking up at him with doe-eyes. The sight before you has your heart palpitating, just like the sight of your face so close to his cock has his jaw clenching. Â
Ralak quiets himself by locking his jaw, waiting patiently to see how this unfolds. Itâs the first heâs seen you in this position, on your knees, between his. His cock twitches in excitement as clear, thick beads of precum begin to roll down its length. You swallow thickly at the sight, wrapping your dainty fingers around its girth to pull it close to your flushed lips. Â
Ralaks ears flutter and his eyelids grow heavy, his chest heaving as he shifts his weight to the palms of his handsâsitting up. Â
You open your mouth, strings of your saliva connecting your lips together. They break when you lower your head, taking the mushroomy, glistening head of his cock into your mouth. Itâs mostly sweet, and a little salty too. The corners of your mouth sting as you accommodate his thickness, and you struggle to open your jaw wide enough to take him further into your mouth. Â
His head dips forward, eyes slamming shut when he feels your wet, warm tongue press against the underside of his cockhead. His hand flies to your head again, gently cupping the back of your skull as he lets out a strained breath. Â
Muffled noises vibrate through your nose as you swipe your tongue side to side against his head. It throbs against your tongue each time it hits that sensitive spot right down the middle. You suckle and swipe at the same time, using your hands to pump the rest of his length until you're grunting and snorting for air. You come up, gasping to fill your lungs. Â
His hand quickly slides from the back of your head to cup the swell of your cheek. His calloused thumb swipes at a bead of saliva rolling down your chin and pops it back into your mouth. âWhat are you doing, my tanhĂŹ?â He whispers the rhetorical question, ensuring his voice is calm and gentle. It sounds as if heâs given upâgiven in. Â
Without answering, you take him back into your mouth, locking your jaw once you open it as wide as you possibly can. You stick your tongue out as far as itâll go and look up at him with eyes that begin to water. He looks down at you with a concerned expression, which morphs into one of astonishment. Your head goes lower and lower, taking inch after inch of his cock down your throat. Â
The tears in your eyes finally spill over, and your nose begins to burn. Half of his length is down your throat and you can barely breathe, but the more his face grimaces from how good you feel around him, the more of him you urge yourself to take. You hold onto his hips, using them as leverage to shove more of him down your throat. Â
âHnng. Easy.â He groans roughly, pushing back against your shoves. âYou are pregnaaahâmmn, you will make yourself sick, tanhĂŹ.â Â
Lifting your hand from his hip, you smack away his hand and take him full hilt, his cock hitting the back of your throat, making it bulge. You stop for a second, slowly inhaling through your nose to focus on not gagging. You try moving the back of your tongue, slowly stroking the rest of his length with your hand. Â
âAh, shit.â He exhales shakily, his eyes rolling back before squeezing shut. He looks focused, like heâs concentrating on not cumming down your throat right then and there. Lips parted slightly, each breath he takes becomes louder and more raggedy. His thigh muscles tense up and his legs spread a little more, his hand finding its own way to the base of your kuru. Â
Chest swelling with pride, you begin to bob your head and coat his cock with your sticky spit. The more slippery it gets the harder he has to fight back his choked grunts. The grip he has on your kuru is tightening, as if he were preparing himself to pry you off his cock before he fills your throat. Â
Suddenly, his head sinks back and his jaw clenchesâhard. You could feel it. The way his cock twitches. The way itâs heating up. The way itâs swelling in your mouth. Gurgled noises are escaping past his lips, and he purses them tightly together in attempts to keep himself quiet. His core flexes, and his hips start to stutter. His whole body jolts from how sensitive heâs getting, and finally he thrusts into your mouth, the pointed tip of his cock slamming into the back of your throat.Â
You silently gag as his hips stammer into you and heâs fucking your throat in frenzied little movements. Heâs trying his hardest to be as gentle as he possibly can.m, but your throat is so soft and tight around him. You swallow around his cock as you try to take a breath and suddenly his erratic movements still.Â
âY/n.â He lets loose a dying groan as his head slumps forward and his inebriated eyes struggle to open. Â
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.Â
His voice is gravelly and thick with restraint. You love to see him like thisâhear him like this. You canât help the wandering hand thatâs making its way down to your soaked tewng. You try to touch yourself through the fabric, but have a hard time finding your clit with it covered like this. Exasperated, you shove your hand under the band of your loincloth and use all four fingers to rub sloppy circles into your puffy clit. Â
Ralak is too immersed into this to even take note of your desperation. Heâs too desperate himself. And if you donât stop now, he really wonât be able to help himself. He begins tugging you by your queue, trying to pry you away from him. With each hasty swipe of your fingers you suck a little harder, as if you were trying to match your pleasure with your matesâ. He pulls at your kuru even harder but youâre unbudging, firmly holding the base of his cock as you relentlessly suckle on the most sensitive part of his tip. Â
âStop.â He growls out of breath, finally looking down just to be tipped close to the edge by the sight below him. You look dumb and fucked out with his cock stuffed in your mouth, broken moans vibrating against his length as you franticly touch yourself. Â
Finally, he yanks you off him with one swift, hard tug, his cock slapping his stomach when it pops out of your mouth. You land on your behind, legs spreading wide open as your fingers work away at your now throbbing clit. Â
âWhy? Canât handle it?â You taunt him between pants and breathy, hoarse moans. Rather than answering he looks down at you with a cocked brow, kuru still in hand. Both of you stare at one another, shoulders and chests violently heaving as you both pant for air. Heâs raw and pulsing, twitching from the heartbeat in the crown of his cock. Â
It's suspended mid air, jumping from how insanely aroused heâs left himself. Sticky beads of precum constantly roll down his shaft, one after the next and his balls are throbbing too. You get back on your knees and lunge for his cock again, tongue darting out to have another taste. He pulls you back, his hand still having a firm grasp of your kuru. Â
âIs this what you are like when you have been bred?â Ralak huffs, a little taken aback by your lewd behaviour. His gaze shifts to your pathetic attempt to make yourself cum, and a smirk spreads across his lips. âSo desperate.â Your silence has his brows scrunching together and him yanking your head back so youâre looking up at him. A growl rumbles in his chest as he slowly rises to his feet, bringing you to your knees with himâhis hung cock swaying directly in your face. Â
A smug little smile pulls at your lips when you realise youâre riling him up. You witness his jawbone flutter, his ears laying flat against his skull. He just wants to stuff his cock back down your throat to teach you a lesson. Instead he shoves your face into his crotch, your nose burying itself into the space between his cock and balls. He holds you there for a few seconds, just long enough that when he finally pulls you away you suck in a tiny gasp of air. Â
Ralak sighs a low, lengthy breath, forcing himself to regain his composure. He canât understand how such a little thing can be so feisty. To act as if he couldnât pin you down and take you without a scuffle. Truthfully it only makes him even harder. It only further proves that you are really the woman for him. Â
Slowly bringing you to your feet, he keeps your face pressed to his body so that your bottom lip drags along his torso as you make your way up. Your hand is still stuffed inside your tewng, slick fingers working hard to find their way back to your clit. With his free hand he grabs a hold of your hip, and steadily backs you up against the wall. Â
When your back hits the wall, a shaky breath is expelled from your lungs. He lets go of your kuru and rips your hand from your tewng. He then wedges his knee between your legs, putting pressure on your clit, making it flutter uncontrollably. His movements are quick but gentle, filled with purpose and desire. His eyes dart back and forth between yours as he searches them, his face just inches away from yours. Â
âAnswer me, little one.â He whispers into your mouth. Â
âYes.â Your answer is breathy and short. Â
Ralak heaves a heavy sigh. Â
âI am trying to be gentleâŚâ He speaks the words through gritted teeth, using both hands on your hips to spin you around to face the wall. He lowers his head until his lips graze against the tip of your ear. ââŚbut you make it so hard for me.â He growls, using the perfect amount of force to pin you against the wall with his body. His large hand swiftly moves to your lower stomach, cupping it to act as a protective barrier between the wall and your budding womb.Â
âNo need to be. I can handle you just fine.â Your lips are pressed tight to your teeth, face flush against the smooth surface, making it hard for you to speak clearly. âPregnant or not.âÂ
Ralak chuckles. Â
âIs that right?â He speaks in an almost condescending tone, hurriedly tugging down your loincloth just enough to get access to your cunt. Without warning, he bends his knees a little to align your pelvises and then shoves his cock between your slickened, warm folds. âOh tanhĂŹ, you are soaked.â His voice quiets down into a hushed whisper, âAll from sucking my cock?â  Â
A mewl splits your lips just as all the blood rushes to your face, staining it a bright pink. Your pussy clenches around nothingness only causing more of your slick to ooze on his cock. Your breath turns shaky, tail swishing wildly behind you. You canât move even if you wanted to. Heâs got you pinned down, quickly reminding you of his strength. And had it not been for his hand on your abdomen you would be completely plastered to the wall and taken on his terms. Â
âTsk-tskâŚHave you no shame?â Ralak tuts, holding you still. âOr must I give you a lesson on self-restraint?â Â
Despite his cockiness you can sense the urgency in his body language and in his voice. You can feel it in the way his hips stutter, as his cock slides back and forth between your pussy lips. His own desperation. The desire to be inside you. The need for release. Â
âGo on then, karyu.â You moan softly, causing his grip on you to loosen for a millisecond. Hearing that name brings a feeling of nostalgia. Of lust. You push back into him, your slippery hole trying to suck him inside with a few quick movements of your pelvis. âBut I know youâve been desperate⌠desperate to fuck your numeyu.âÂ
âOh, little one.â His chuckle is dark and depraved, his protective hand stiffening as if he were preparing it for what's to come. âYet you are trying your hardest to take me inside you.â He licks your ear lobe to tip, whispering, âso cute.âÂ
âFnaweâtu [coward].â You mutter under your breath, steadying your feet to ground yourself. Â
Ralaks ears flicker and stand tall, then immediately lay flat to his headâhis brow cocking in astonishment. His smirk grows wider, the heat in his chest spreading to his extremities. Now that pushes him over the edge. Â
âSay that again, numeyu.â He challenges you in a growl, angling his hips so his weeping cockhead prods at your entrance. He ensures not to let the buck of his hips win, keeping you empty and yearning. Â
âHaah⌠afraid to take whatâs yours.â You purr, rising to the tips of your toes to try sink him inside you. âFnaweâtuââÂ
Smack.Â
The sound of his swollen balls making contact with your puffy clit is almost as loud as your broken gasp. You smile open mouthed as he holds his position balls deep inside you, firmly pressing the tip of his cock into your cervix. Heâs grinding his back teeth, digging his chin into your shoulder to quell the rumble of his chest from how tight youâre squeezing his cock. Â
You whine from the fullness of him stuffed inside your cunt, his unmoving hips sending a clear message of dominance. Heâs hunched over you, body weight pinning you mercilessly against the wall, hand over your womb to keep your unborn safeâas promised. Still being gentle enough. Â
But you want him to lose it. Â
To fuck into you like he were in rut again. To use your pussy like a fucktoy to satiate his own greed and self pleasure. He deserves that much, for being such a competent and loving man to you. Yet it seems the only way to bring that out of him is to play dirty. Â
âFnaweâtu [coward].â You repeat shakily.Â
Smack.Â
Another deep and hard thrust into your sloppy cunt. He lets loose the rumble in his chest this time, bearing his canines and putting most of his weight on you now. Lips pressed tightly together, your whimper is muffled and outright pathetic, pinched brows giving away the pleasure rippling through you. Still, he remains unmoving, undeniably making it clear who has the most leverage here. But that doesnât really matter to youâyouâre getting what you want, one way or another. Â
Right? Â
âVoĂŹk si, little one [behave].â Ralak hisses, fighting the inner conflict within him. Â
âHaaââ Your laugh that follows is a little sinister, open mouthed and smug. Hands pressing into the wall you push off its surface, sinking him deeper inside you. âNo.â Â
âAlright.â His voice is husky, thick with confidence and temperance. Â
With a rough, quick tug, his cock slips out of you with a squelch, hanging freely between his legs. Your slick mixed with his precum slowly dribbling off his tip and onto the floor between your pointed feet. You fall to the flat of your feet, panting and whining from the sudden emptiness. Â
âW-Wait.â You squeak, hastily getting back on the tips of your toes to stuff him inside you again. âPlease.â Â
âWhat was that?â Ralak asks, voiced feigned with innocence. âA little louder.âÂ
âPlease.â You barely whisper, backing up on him. Â
âCome now, tanhĂŹ.â His hand slips from your hip to grip his cock. Giving it a few strokes he teases your cunt with his cockhead and you instinctively shimmy down. Hips snapping back to prevent you from taking him inside, he dips his head so his mouth is next to your ear and husks, âYou can do better than that.â Â
âPlease!â You moan loudly in desperation, reaching down to your knees to unfetter yourself from your tewng [loincloth]. Â
âPlease, what?â Ralak spits the last word through pursed lips, ready to give you exactly what you want if you just ask for it nicely. Â
âPlease put it back inside.â You beg pathetically, finally getting the knot of your tewng undone. âPlease, fuck me.âÂ
âAhh, thereâs my good girl.â Ralak praises you with a grin, sinking his cock into your warmth at a leisurely pace. His breathing stutters for every inch that penetrates you. âWas that so hard?â Â
âFuck.â You moan in relief, spreading your legs wider. Heâs tamed you and he knows it. âNo.âÂ
âNoâŚ?â Ralak says it like a question, hissing when he bottoms out in your cunt. Â
âNo, karyu.â You answer coyly, voice faltering from the pressure of his cockhead pushing into your cervix. Â
âAghâhaahâ Ralak lets out a gruff grunt in response, his hips now snapping back and forth out of his control. Heâs huffing and puffing next to your ear, pumping his cock in and out of you in a frenzy of need. Swollen balls repeatedly slapping against your clit, itâs almost impossible to hold back the gurgled noises escaping your throat. Â
âFuckâsoâfuckinââdeepâfuck.â The curses are punched out of you as he relentlessly smacks into you again and again. Â
âL���fyaz [language.]â Ralak chides in a growl, hand slipping down to pull back the hood of your clitâtaut. Â
The continuous sting of your clit has your legs shaking and the way his cockhead is repeatedly stimulating your sweet spot has your eyes rolling back into your head. Itâs almost too much all at once yet you yearn for more. Your cunt clamps down around him, especially when the tension becomes so tight you feel your stomach double-knot. Ralak hums when you tighten around him, only making him rut harder into you. Â
Pulling back, he glances down at you sucking him in, your tail curled tight to your back and his cock plunging in and out of your pussy. He can see just how tight you are as your pussy walls grip his girth mercilessly. And with the protective hand on your abdomen, he can feel each thrust against the palm of his hand. It makes his chest swell with prideâÂ
You carry his child yet still take him so well. Â
âOeĂża tsantu [my good girl]â Ralak slips into his native tongue, panting in an accent as thick as tree sap. âOeĂża numeyutsyĂŹp [my little student]âÂ
Ralaks cock heats up inside you, heating your core along with it. Itâs the same familiar sensation you feel before he provides you with your release. The feeling that keeps your eyes squeezed shut and breath shallow. He knows your close and slows his thrusts like he usually does, fucking you a little harder rather than faster, angling his pelvis so heâs right in your swelling g-spot. Â
Your hands fly behind you, grasping at whateverâs available as your orgasm washes through you. You gush all over your thighs, cum dribbling down your legs to your feet, some spattering on Ralak as he fucks and holds you through your high. Itâs sudden and uncontrollable, leaving you sputtering out nonsense and your legs shaking violently beneath you. Â
âThere it is. Good muntxate [wife].â Ralak huffs with a smirk, relishing in the quick, feverish flutter of your cunt on his cock. His voice is shaky from his uneven rhythm now that he can finally allow himself to finish too. âLoveâhngâwhen you cum for me, youâahh, haahâknow that?âÂ
He begins grinding to you, shoving you further into the wall as he focuses on his own climax. He uses his feet to kick your legs closed, and pulls out of you, stuffing himself between your thighs. Heâs groaning and growling, hunched over you with bent knees and flushed, flattened ears. Skin slapping against skin, he humps at your thighs, thick cock sliding back and forth over your still pulsing clit. Â
His cockhead continuously pokes out between your folds, tip oozing and oozing with precum. Both his hands fly to your hips, gripping them with force as his thrusts become almost violent. You struggle to keep yourself standing as his hips smack into you repeatedly, your body jolting with each thrust. He gives you one last, harsh thrust, holding you still against him as you feel his cock throb wildly between your thighs. You look down to see his huge load shoot out in thick, white ropes. Heâs grumbling behind you, giving your thighs an extra few uncontrollable thrusts as he peaks in his high. Â
Finally you fall to the flat of your feet, his arms instantly snaking around your waist to support your weight entirely. Â
âI told you no taunting, tanhĂŹ.â Heâs referring to the time he opened up about his first rut, âNext time, you ask nicely. Tslam? [Understand?]â Ralak says breathlessly. Â
âSran, oeĂża karyu. tslolam. [Yes, my teacher. I understand].â You blubber, fucked out and jaded. Â
ââÂ
#ralak#ralak smut#avatar smut#awow smut#metkayina#metkayina smut#metkayina oc#oc smut#avatar oc smut#awow oc smut#sully reader#sully reader x oc#oc x sully reader#oc x sully reader smut#na'vi smut#na'vi x reader#na'vi x sully reader#na'vi avatar#smut#metkayina x omaticaya#metkayina x omaticaya smut#metkayina x fem reader#ralak x y/n#ralak x reader#ralak x you#pregnancy smut#na'vi pregnancy#na'vi pregnant#ralak pregnant#avatar pregnancy
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love to hate you | jjk [viii]
âwhen obnoxiously rich and spoiled frat boy jeon jungkook comes up to you one day and asks you to fake date him for money, you definitely should have said no. because before you knew it, you were going on insta dates with him and having lunch with his equally obnoxiously rich and spoiled friends.â
â genre:Â sexual themes, angst, fluff, fratboy! AU, fake dating! AU, college! AU, rich kid! AU, enemies to lovers! AU
â pairing: jungkook x female reader
â word count: 18.351
â warnings: swearing/cursing, communication skills nowhere to be found, chronic overthinking, emotional rollercoaster, confusingly set during christmas <3
â a/n: and just like that we've crossed 100k !! its here, the big one. by far one of my favourite chapters that ive written so far!! hope you guys enjoy it!! praying yall wont hate me for this one haha once again, this is inspired by To All The Boys Iâve Loved Before by Jenny Han!
You didnât miss the look Chaeyoung and Jisoo exchanged, or the way Hoseok longingly looked after Jimin as he quickly walked away to get everyone some food after you sat down, or how Jimin muttered something about how someone clearly needed something to eat. The comment didnât bother you because he was right and you could admit as much.
The mall had never been your favourite place to go, and even less so today. The Christmas decoration put up around you seemed overly tacky and in bad taste, and you could have ripped off your ears, sick of listening to the same three Christmas songs over and over again. You closed your eyes that ached from the bright colourful lights, and scrunched your nose when your arm bumped into one of your shopping bags. Your patience hung by a string, the fibers breaking with every passing second. Everything hurt, from your head to your arms and your feet.
Nothing was right, and there seemed to be no end to it.
âFries?âÂ
Jimin specifially offered them to you, placing two medium plates of golden fries in the middle of the table. You took him up on it, taking two and throwing them into your mouth. The fries were bland and not salty enough but you took three more pieces, shoving your face full. As if the grease and carbs would fix anything.Â
âDo you wanna try the thrift store that Ji suggested?â Chaeyoung asked, choosing her words carefully, and you cringed, shaking your head.Â
âNo.â
The silence continued, and you didnât miss the looks your friends exchanged. There was clearly a conversation going on over your head, but you didnât care, reaching for one fry after the other.
âY/N, itâs gonna be fine,â Jimin said in the end, putting his arm around your shoulder. Bold, but when was he not. âDonât be so down. That one dress- the beige one looked great on you!â
âYeah, but also, they donât care about what you wear,â Jisoo continued, not allowing you to even begin to disagree.
âAnd you still have time to find the perfect thing, right? If you do decide that the dress isnât up to standard. Didnât you get some stuff online too?â Hoseok asked, trying to get you to look at him, but you just closed your eyes and pulled your lips into a line.
They didnât get it. But telling them that would be of no use, just like how their words didnât encourage you the slightest bit.Â
âI promise you Kookâs parents are really the sweetest people Iâve-â
âYeah, maybe, I donât know,â you mumbled, cutting off Jimin. You rubbed your eyes until you saw black spots. With a sigh, you leaned back. âIâll figure it out, I think.â
There was no confidence in your words. To you, it seemed like your life was about to end, all over a stupid outfit you couldnât put together. The thought almost made you laugh and cry at the same time. This was as ridiculous as it could get.Â
âWhat did Kook say?â Chaeyoung asked, and you frowned.
âAbout what?â
She blinked at you, her brows creasing together. âWell, have you talked to Kook about any of this? How youâre worried about meeting his parents?â
You pressed your mouth into a line, and you didnât even know where to begin. It seemed futile to you to explain that you possibly couldnât tell Jungkook about all of the thoughts suffocating your mind. You would look stupid, like an absolute fool. You would look like you cared, and really, you didnât. It would weird him outâhow much you stressed about it, how much it was on your mind. But then again, really, actually, you didnât care at all. You just were⌠especially irritable these days. Hormones were ragingâyour period, of course, greeting you just a day prior.
âNo,â you exhaled, shaking your head. You didnât know what exactly you were denyingâyou being stressed about meeting his parents, or you not talking about it to him. Probably both. âHeâs busy with his stuff. Heâs got a paper to finish- itâs fine.â
And even though you closed your eyes, you knew your friends were looking at each other. There was a carefulness with which they spoke to you, and you did feel bad. Just nothing seemed to lift your spirits.
âIâm sorry. I havenât been in⌠a good mood these days,â you told them, getting more annoyed at yourself for being the way you were. You hid your face in your hands. âI donât know whatâs up with me.â
âItâs fine,â Jimin assured you. âWe know youâre stressed.â
Jisoo placed an arm around you, leaning her shoulder against yours. She opened her mouth before closing again, ultimately she decided to speak.Â
âWhat if⌠you donât go?âÂ
âJi,â Jimin whispered, looking at her as if she had just suggested something criminal.
âI��m just sayingâ itâs stressing her out so much, maybe she shouldnât go.â Jisoo shrugged, believing her suggestion to be rather harmless. âShe can meet his parents another time, right?â
You looked at her. She grimaced, apologetic, about to backpedal, taking your expression as offence. But you waved her off. Her suggestion was meant well, you knew that. It would also be more than a lie to say you hadnât thought about it too. Of course, you had. But you couldnât do it. Not when the image of Narae popped into your mind every time you did consider it.Â
âOkay, fine,â Jisoo sighed, relenting. âBut Iâm just saying heâll understand if you donât want to go. Itâs not like you guys are getting married.â
Chaeyoung mumbled something to her, but you couldnât hear it. If you had to guess she told her to lay it off, which you were admittedly thankful for.
âI donât even have gifts,â you groaned, remembering that your outfit wasnât the only issue plagueing your mind. âDo I bring an actual gifts? Or just wine? Flowers? Something more personal? I donât fucking know.â
âDo you have to bring them anything?â Hoseok asked, frowning. âI mean yeah, I guess itâs Christmas and youâre meeting them for the first time, but I donât know, Iâm not sure if you have to bring them anything.â
âI donât think you do. Theyâre just happy to meet you, I promise,â Jimin said, squeezing your shoulder, but somehow, his answer annoyed you even more. Because what if he was wrong? And they use it as a reason as to why they didnât like you because you showed up empty handed? Poor and rude? You wouldnât even take a single step in their home. And even if Jimin was right, that they were just happy to meet youâit seemed even worse. Because all you had to show for yourself to Jungkookâs parents then would beâŚ. yourself.Â
And what if that wasnât enough?
You groaned, leaning back again. Everything was making your situation only worse, giving you an even bigger headache, feeding the heavy pit in your stomach. And as you spiraled, you didnât notice the rather obvious text Chaeyoung send, or the even more obvious way Jiminâs phone lit up on the table to display it, just for him to quickly grab it and start typing. Jisoo leaned over to look, and Chaeyoung quickly mumbled something into Hoseokâs ear. You wouldnât even notice the way Chaeyoung jumped when you spoke suddenly again,
âLetâs just finish eating and go home. I wanna go home.âÂ
No one protested.
By the end, the fries were gone and the grease had eaten through the recycled brown paper plates, and your mood wasnât much better, still the same level of annoyance always buzzing in the back of your mind. Grabbing the bags from the various shops you had walked in and out of with your friends today, you made your way out of the mall. Stepping outside, you hugged yourself, the wind harsher than the past few days.Â
âWhat way is your car again?â you asked, teeth gritting. Your question was aimed at Chaeyoung, but you didnât have the nerve to look at her. With the tip of your boot, you scraped against the concret, enjoying the way it rolled back and forth. You lifted your head when no one would answer, confused by the silence.
âOh, uh,â Chaeyoung began, glancing at Jimin who was typing away on his phone. âGive us⌠a minute.â
She said it as if it was a question, gesturing for you to wait. You looked over to Jisoo and Hoseok for some sort of explanation, but they both kept their mouths shut.
âWhereâs your girlfriendâs car?â
Hoseok blushed, and you knew he still wasnât used to the development of his and Chaeyoungâs relationship. It was cute, and it did make you smile a little.
âJust tell me.âÂ
You tried nice. Nice didnât work.
âI-I donât know.âÂ
You sighed, your hands on your hips, shopping bags knocking on your legs. The cold wavered your voice.
âJi?â
But rather than even say anything, or make an attempt to stall you, she waved you off, flicking her wrist back and forth. At least, Hoseok and Chaeyoung tried to dismiss you subtly.
âOh my God, what are you guys looking at? Can we just go home, Iâm really cold here and I just wanna-â
âAh, yes, heâs here!â Jimin exclaimed before slapping his hand over his mouth, eyes wide. âOops.â
You stopped, not needing a second to understand. Jisoo punched his arm.Â
âYou texted Jeon?â
If you were upset and annoyed before, you were even more so now. You leaned forward, as if the reality weighed down on you and physically pushed you. Your eyes darted back and forth between your friends before ultimately landing on Jimin, who was shrinking in on himself.
âAre you guys for real?â you hissed, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. You could have ripped out your hair. âBut why?â
Everyone looked to Chaeyoung. âWe- we think itâd be good if you talk to him. Youâre clearly stressed about meeting his parents, so why not talk about it?â
She added on a smile, and you closed your eyes, groaning.Â
âGuys, Iâm fine.â You dug your hands through your hair, looking over your shoulder, relieved to see that he was nowhere. âWhere is he? Is he here already? Tell him to go home. He has a paper to-â
An arm wrapped around your shoulder, and you didnât need to look to know who it was.
âGo home.â
âDamn, hi, itâs nice to see you too, cabbage,â Jungkook laughed, grinning at you even as you frowned at him. He pinched your nose, and you didnât even have it in you to swat his hand aside, closing your eyes instead.Â
âYou guys werenât kidding. Sheâs in a bad mood.â
Your frown deepened, mouth setting into a thin line. Jungkook squeezed your shoulder, quietly apologising to you for his comment, but his smile remained on his lips.Â
âAlright, I thinkââ Chaeyoung hooked her arm into Hoseokâs. ââitâs time to go.â
âYeah, donât worry, Iâll take her home,â Jungkook said, nodding to confirm his own words. âGet home safe.â
âGreat, text us when you get home,â Jisoo said, waving at you. âWe love you, Y/N! And oh, nice scarf!â
Jungkook laughed, thanking her.
âYeah, good luck, Kook! Also love ya, Y/N!â Jimin laughed before taking off, sprinting ahead, scared you might just throw one of your bags after him. (Which you were strongly considering) The others waved you goodbye, and even though you were more than ticked off, you did the same, mumbling a goodbye their way. God knows they had put up with your attitude with enough grace today already. You sighed once they left your sight, shrugging off Jungkook.
You looked at him and your gaze softened, if only a little. Even more so when you saw it, wrapped around his neck so prettily. There was something very messy about him todayâhis hair not done in its usual way, hanging into his eyes, getting longer each time you saw him, the collar of his coat not folded down properly. If you had to guess, he had walked out the moment he got the text from Jimin. But he had thought of your scarf, looped it around his neck carefully. Looking at him now, out in the cold, you were glad you had invested the time into learning how to knit. The scarf suited him, the red matching him well. You were almost tempted to knit another one, one in every colour.
âYouâre wearing the scarf.â
âOf course,â he returned, smiling at you, and you wondered if his cheeks hurt, red from the cold.Â
The thought embarrassed you. You looked down, returning to rolling the tip of your boot on the conrete, back and forth, back and forth.
âGo home.â
âOkay, yeah, letâs go home together.â
He reached to take the bags from you, but you pulled away, lifting your head. âNo, Jeon, go home. Iâm fine.â
Jungkook shoved his hands into his pockets, shaking his head. This wasnât going to be easy, he realised. âAnd how will you get home?â
His question made you frown, as if that was the issue at hand right now. You almost scoffed.
âIâll walk-â
âRight, because walking in the cold is such a good idea, hm?
âFine, Iâll take the bus.â
âDo you even know where the next bus station is?âÂ
âI can look it up.â
âOr you can just, you know,â he leaned towards you, and you couldnât back off, ânot be so stubborn and let me just give you a ride home.â
You pursed your lips, shaking your head. Why was he being oh so frustrating? Why couldnât he make this easy for you? Why wasnât he at all discouraged by your behaviour? It didnât make any sense to you. He should be annoyed with you and your attitude, infuriated because you were being difficult for no real reason. And yet, he smiled and laughed at you, showed you patience. It was strange to you, unexpected.
âI never asked you to pick me up.âÂ
It was like you were a goddamn teenager, fighting with her parents, trying your very best to tick them off. It was like you wanted him to be mad at you, and in some ways, in some real ways, maybe you did. You felt sorry for your friends about your attitude, but not with Jungkook somehow. For some reason, you couldnât extend the same empathy to him. At least not in this moment.
He didnât say anything, hesitated, his brows creasing together. His eyes darted to the ground before ultimately finding you again, tongue in his cheek, nodding. For a moment, you thought you won, did it.Â
âYeah, you didnât,â Jungkook said, taking one two three steps in your direction, slowly prying the shopping bags from you. âBut Iâm still here to pick you up.â
And when he met you with a smile, you knew there wasnât anything you could do. You let your head hang, as tears shot into your eyes. It had never happened before, you were never one quick to cry, but right now you felt like it. You blinked them away, not allowing Jungkook to know.
He took your silence as a sign of defeat, which it was. Very much so. He had won, and you had to admit that you were actually relieved. That he had proven you wrong, that he hadnât just left after you had repeatedly insisted he should, or gotten annoyed and sick with you.Â
Jungkook shifted all of the shopping bags into one hand, using his free one to grab yours. Like he would, of course he would, he placed a kiss on the back of your hand before putting your hands into his coat pocket to keep warm, together. You could have begun crying again.
âBe a good girlfriend, alright?â he told you, leading you to his car, and you scoffed, hoping your voice didnât sound as unstable and shaky as you felt.
âBe a good girlfriend?â you repeated, raising a brow. Jungkook was quick to see his mistake and correct himself,
âI mean, let me be a good boyfriend to my girlfriend and pick her up after aââ He hesitated, squinting as if he was searching for the right word. ââfun, right?â
There was something inherently cheeky and smug about Jungkook. But you couldnât quite take offence to any of it, nodding, even if you knew that today wasnât the funnest day. (And you were to blame.)
âFun day at the mall with her friends.â
You pressed your lips together. âBut what about your paper?â
He paused and looked at you before shaking his head and laughing. âOh, donât worry about it. Iâm almost done. Iâll finish it at your place.â
His hand squeezed yours, and you hated how warm he made you feel. How the warmth spread from your chest to the the tips of your ears and feet. How even if you tried, he remained patient with you. You hated it because it made it so much harder, for you not to fall for him again and again. You hated it because you almost believed him that you could be one of those stupidly in love couples that held hands in their pockets and made each other scarfs.
Jungkook opened the car door for you, and you climbed inside, thankful for the few seconds you had to yourself as he loaded your shopping bag into the trunk. Without a word, he gave you his phone, and by now, you knew the drill.Â
You unlocked his phone in second before quickly typing in your current location into Google maps. Your address popped up at the top, bookmarked, when you tapped to enter the destination. Handing him his phone back, you wondered what Jungkookâs password meant, 09052020. It seemed so oddly specific, but you didnât bother asking.
âYou should show me what you got.â
The water remained in your mouth a second longer before you swallowed it, slowly screwing the top back on the bottle, eyes set on Jungkook. You shook your head and leaned against your kitchen counter. He was just a few steps away from you, sitting on your couch, taking up all the space, arms spread left and right.Â
âYeah, I donât think so.â
He gave you a look, as if to say oh please! His head rolled back for a second.
âI think you should.â
You didnât respond, pulling your phone out of your pocket instead. Deeming your silence as enough of an answer, you scrolled through your phone, opening the group chat between your friends and you, your feet crossing at your ankle. But before you could even read one text-
âBut isnât that why you were in a bad mood?â
It seemed brave of Jungkook to address it so openly. Or maybe just incredibly honest. You couldnât do it. He didnât seem afraid at all that you might just dip back into your bad mood at the mention of it and come out bats swinging. It was admirable in some ways. You didnât rememeber him to be this confrontative a few months ago when you started this, him and you. He seemed to have found a confidence with you now, convinced he knew the ins and outs of you. Maybe he did. He probably did, in some ways. You couldnât say if you liked it all that much.
You snorted, an attempt to make light of the situation. âYeah, so why bring it up again?â
Jungkook reached his hands out to you, a gesture for you to come his way. You thought about it for a moment before abandoning both your phone and the water bottle on the kitchen counter and moving over. He scooted to the edge of your couch to allow you to step between his legs. His hands held yours, thumbs brushing the inner part of your wrist, back and forth.
âMy parents donât care,â he told you, staring up at you with his big eyes, squeezing your hands as he spoke, physically stressing his words. âThey really donât care, I promise you. Theyâre just excited to meet you. And so am I, excited.â
He paused, allowing his words to sink in with you and take effect.Â
âBut I know you care and youâre stressed about it,â Jungkook mumbled, and you couldnât look at him, eyes finding the floor instead, right where your carpet curled up because sometimes your couch would dig into it and flip it up. It was so very embarrassing that he knew how much you cared. It felt like you were ripping out your heart and letting him inspect it. You wanted to correct him, set the record straight that really, you didnât care at all whatsoever! but it felt like a cheap attempt, even more humiliating.
âSo why donât you show me?â he asked, shaking your hands to get you to look at him. You didnât want to but did anyway. His gaze was soft, just like his smile, and his hair fell into his eyes. You brushed it away. It made his smile widen, so much so he brought your hand to his lips and kissed it.
It was sealed for you then.
âAlright, fine,â you sighed, defeated, moving away from him to dig through your shopping bags. âLook away.â
âWhat? Why?â
âWhat do you mean?â you frowned. âIâm changing.â
Jungkookâs features morphed from a frown to a smile in a second before he ultimately began laughing. âAre you really gonna be too embarrassed to change in front of me?â He gave you a moment to deny it. âIâve seen and touched-â
âOh my God, just turn around,â you hissed, and for some reason, your cheeks were as hot as the sun. âEither that, or I wonât try on anything.â
He exhaled the most dramatic sigh he could, making a point to show you that he even pressed his hands to his eyes. Just for that, you wanted to kick him. But you should have known that Jungkook wasnât quite done, needing to squeeze in one more comment, purely to annoy you and nothing more. There wasnât anything serious about it at all, no deeper meaning.
âAre you gonna be like this when weâre married with kids?â
You froze, arms up and your face mushed together by your sweater and half of your body exposed to the naked air with only your bra to show for. He wasnât serious, you knew. There was lightness and an obvious teasing embedded with his words. You doubted Jungkook even expected a response from you, probably just enjoyed knowing he made you flustered even if he couldnât see it. And yet, your heart began pounding and your hands sweating and your cheeks burning and your mind reeling for any possible retort you could offer. Before you could stutter something, he spoke again,
âSorry.â
The smile was evident in his voice, and when you finally peeled off your sweater, you turned out to be right. You shook your head, throwing your sweater at him before you could think better of it. It hit him in the face.
âOw, cabbage! Thatâs not fair, I have my eyes-âÂ
âIâm so close to kicking you out, you know?â you mumbled, keeping your voice quiet as if raising it by any means was dangerous. You pulled off your pants and your stockings you had layered underneath for some extra warmth.
âI said Iâm sorry, cabbage.âÂ
But Jungkook sounded far from sincere. You didnât bother responding, grabbing one of the shopping bags and slipping on the sweater you had thrifted. It was off the shoulders and this warm midnight blue colour, rich and beautiful and cozy. You moved to your old dresser and pulled out the black maxi skirt you had thought to combine it with. The outfit was simple, but with the right accesoires (ones you would still have to buy which the thought of it already gave you a headache), it could work. At least, it could in theory because when you looked at yourself in your full body mirror (which you had thrifted when you had first moved in), you frowned.
âCan I look?â
You gave a grunt in response, still looking at your reflection as if you had put together the most hideous outfit possible. It wasnât much of a yes or no, so for a few seconds Jungkook hesitated, but he slowly peeled his eyes open.
âOh, cabbage! You look so amazing-â
âNo.â
It was as simple as that for you, shaking your head.
âWhat? But you look-â
âI donât like it,â you said, already moving to take off the skirt. âClose your eyes.â
You expected some sort of protest from Jungkook, but he actually did as you said. Just as quick as you had decided that the outfit wouldnât work, you peeled it off of you. You rummaged through your next shopping bags, looking at the pieces you had gottenâa cream knit sweater and white maxi skirt. But all of a sudden, you hated it. You clearly remembered loving the clothes in the store, giving the outfit a couple spins and scrutiniscing it from head to toe until it was deemed worthy of your money. But right now as you looked at it, you felt quite the opposite.
With a sigh, you pulled the last shopping bag towards you. It had the dress your friends had mentioned you should wear. This time, you didnât inspect it any further, not having the nerve for it. So you just bunched up the fabric and slipped it on. But you didnât tell Jungkook you were finished changing. Instead you turned and looked at yourself in the mirror first.
Jisoo had found it for youâa maxi slip dress. It was in a beautiful and rich wine red colour, oozing warmth, and soft to the touch. The satin flowed down your body, hugging your curves, and reflecting your dim living room lights like water. Lace was stitched along the neckline, which otherwise probably would have been a little too low given the occasion. The straps securing the dress were tied up into small ribbons around your shoulders, giving it a more dainty and playful look. The slit on the left side reached up until your knee, allowing the fabric to move along with your body in harmony. It was a beautiful dress, made for any occasion with the correct accessoires and styling.Â
You were objectively and undeniably beautiful in it.Â
And yet, you stared at yourself as if it wasnât, brows knitted together and lips pursed in a pout, eyes wandering up and down. It wasnât insecurityâyou felt great and comfortable in the dress. But something about it just wasnât right. You tried imaging yourself all dolled up in it, hair and makeup done to your liking, but the frown remained. It wasnât perfect enough.
You shook your head, moving to take it off. When you turned on your heel, you looked straight at Jungkook, and Jungkook looked straight at you. His eyes were big and wide and set on you, his mouth agape and curling up into a smile. You gasped, both in surprise and upset.
âW-why are you looking?â you hissed, feeling the heat crawl up your neck, and you threw your arms around yourself.
âIâm sorry. You- you just took so long, cabbage. And so I looked andâŚâ Jungkook finished his sentence with a simple shrug and smile. You frowned at his answer, shaking your head.
âClose your eyes,â you spat through gritted teeth, turning around to change out of the dress. âIâm changing-â
âWhat? Why?â Jungkook sounded genuinely confused, jumping up from his seat and moving your way, shaking his head. âYou look amazing! Please donât change. I love this dress on you!â
He stopped short in front of you, turning you around and taking your hands into his.Â
âThis dress suits you so well,â he whispered as if it was some sort of secret. You looked to the mirror behind you, inspected yourself, eyes shooting up and down. Jungkook stepped behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, his fingers interlacing in front of the soft of your belly. He pushed you to lean fully against him, his eyes scanning every inch of you.
âYouâre so pretty. So very pretty.âÂ
His words tasted like Christmas chocolate, were thick with honey and sugar, stuck to your teeth. They were bad. Horrible. For you and your heart. Because they sounded so very believable.Â
âYou look incredible.â
He finished with a kiss to the back of your head, and you didnât know where to look. You placed your hands on his, tentatively, and he was quick to take them into his, scoop them up and hold them tight. He had to know, you thought to yourself, how hard your heart was beating.
âDonât you like it?â
You met his gaze in the mirror, mouth settled into a line.Â
âI like the dress,â you said, tilting your head.Â
âBut?â
âI donât like it forâŚâ
âMeeting my parents?â Jungkook supplied when you wouldnât finish your sentence, and you didnât answer, averting your gaze instead. âWhat do you not like about it?â
You closed your eyes, feeling so very silly. Because you couldnât say. You didnât know. There shouldnât be anything to dislike about the dress, nothing about it was wrongâyou loved every little detail, and even more how you felt in it.
âWhat do you think?âÂ
âI donât think my opinion really matters here,â Jungkook laughed, and you peeled your eyes open, a smile tugging on the corners of your lips. He was annoying. Just couldnât provide you with a simple answer when he even has already voiced his thoughts. âBut I think you look really pretty in this dress.â
You scrunched your nose. âHow pretty?â
âSo pretty I wouldnât mind going blind now.â
You smiled, no, grinned. He was so stupid.
âSo pretty I canât believe you donât like it.âÂ
You tilted your head to the side.
âSo pretty I donât want you to ever take it off again.âÂ
He pressed kisses to your neck and shoulder, nose burying into your hair, words mumbled into your skin, and hands beginning to wander further south, scrunching the fabric. You let him.
âSo pretty I want to take a picture of you and print it out and hang it up above my bed and also keep another one in my wallet and change my background picture to-â
âO-okay, enough!â you said, pushing him away from you because your limbs were beginning to tingle and burn, and his touch was sending shocks through your entire body. Even more so, his hands were beginning to go to places he shouldnât, not right now at least. You made sure to keep him at an armâs length, palm pressing into his chest, in fear heâd simply close the distance if you didnât physically stop him.
âYouâre so ridiculous, Jeon,â you said, shaking your head, laughing a little. âYou can never be serious, can you?â
âBut I am! Iâm very serious! Looking at you makes me wanna-â
You were quick to shake your head, hands pressing to your ears because no no no, you didnât want to know! All while you were smiling, grinning almost. Without realising it, Jungkook had done the impossibleâlifted your mood, made you laugh when you felt irritated and annoyed by everything before.Â
âFine, I wonât tell you!â Jungkook sighed, dramatically rolling his eyes. You looked at him, lowering your hands, your smile cemented on your lips.
âYouâre so stupid, Jeon,â you mumbled, scrunching your nose, and he gasped in faux upset.
âThatâs so mean, cabbage!â
âOh, just shut up.â
Jungkook slung his arms around your middle, doing so before you could even think to stop him. His chin dropped to your shoulder, hands scopping up yours again and eyes meeting in the mirror.
âSo, what do we think?â
You raised a brow. âNow, itâs we? I thought your thoughts didnât matter-â
He sighed, closing his eyes for a second. âFine, what do you think?â
And you inspected yourself again, gaze wandering up and down. You didnât know what it was, but the dress seemed different now. It was still the same fabric, same cut, nothing had changed, but you remembered why you had bought the dress, why you had taken Jisoo up on her offer to try it on when she had shown it to you. Because it was beautiful, even more so with you in it.
âIs this the dress?â Jungkook whispered into your ear, and you knew he was hoping for a yes.Â
You tilted your head to the side, heart beating faster when you opened your mouth. Because yes, it was. The dress, choosing it, it was another step closer to meeting Jungkookâs parents, another hurdle out of the way. Your eyes met his in the mirror, his face so close to yours. The two of you standing there together, you almost could convince yourself you were an actual couple.
âYeah, it is.â
He beamed, tightening his arms around you, letting out a small sigh of relief. âOkay, good, Iâm glad.â
You lowered your gaze, and you wondered if he maybe feared you wouldnât go because you couldnât find anything to wear. If maybe that was the reason for why he came so quickly because he didnât want you to use that excuse. Because otherwise he would have to explain to his precious and perfect parents why his girlfriend refused to meet them-
âHow does the 22nd sound to you by the way?â Jungkook asked, pulling you out of your trains of thoughts, almost as if he knew. He mumbled the words into your skin, and you felt every move of his lips. âTo meet my parents, I mean.â
Just eight days.
âY-yeah, that⌠should work,â you returned, breathless and high pitched, eyes finding the floor. He stared at you in the reflection, nudging you to do the same. You hesitated, but did as he said, breath hitching in your throat when you saw the way he was looking at you, oh so sincere and genuine.
âItâs gonna be fine.â
There was something assuring about the way he said it. If anyone elses told you these words, it would do you no good, bring you no relief. But when he did, it did. It was silly really.
âI promise you.â
âYeah, really, Jeon?â you laughed shallowly, tucking a strand behind your ear and swallowing. âYou promise me?â
And as if looking at your mere reflection just wasnât enough for him, Jungkook turned you around by your hips, forcing your eyes to meet his.Â
âI promises you, cabbage. I wonât leave you for one second, alright? Hell, I will drive you there and home again, okay? Iâll be there with you for every second of the day, from the moment you wake up to the moment you go back to bed, glued to your side, so much so youâll be so annoyed by me that youâll want me gone. You wonât even go the bathroom on your own, okay?â He paused for a second, scrunching his nose. âIâll make sure you will have the most non awkward but perfect and fun evening possible.â
His phrasing made you laugh, ebbed the waves of anxiety crashing onto your mind over and over again when you thought a little too much about the next week. His parents, him and you, in one room.Â
âItâs gonna be great.â
Jungkook smiled at you, a little too bright and too wide. You returned it to the best of your abilities, letting him pull you back into a hug, eyes falling shut.
âOkay, I believe you,â you told him, hearing his heart beating in his chest. âFor once.â
He tightened his arms around you.
(âDo you think it will have snowed by then?â he asked you when the intro to the new episode of Avatar began playing on his laptop. You looked up, eyes catching his, your head rested against his chest and his arms around you.
âWhat?â
âBy the 22nd I mean. Do you think it will have snowed by then?â
You frowned, thinking of the last few winters. âI donât know. Maybe.â
He thought about your answer for a few more seconds, looking off to the side before returning your gaze. âI hope. Iâd like to spend a proper white Christmas with you.â
âPray to the Gods then,â you said. âChances arenât so good.â
The past few years it had always only snowed in January.
âOh, I do, every day,â Jungkook laughed, and you hummed, focusing back on the episode and missing the way his gaze softened at your sight.)
âOkay, so Iâll be back right before New Year,â Chaeyoung said, giving her calendar one last look before snapping it close again. âWho of us is gonna be here?â
Hoseok and you both let out affirmative noises, and Jimin raised his hand in a yes as well, mouth stuffed with his sandwich. You scooted closer to the table to let a guy squeeze through as he made his way to the lunch table with his friends, a tray full of bland and dry cafeteria food.
âIâm not sure yet,â Jisoo said, taking a handful of grapes from her purple grape shaped lunch box and plopping each one into her mouth. âMy sister asked if I wanted to celebrate New Yearâs with her. But maybe sheâll go over to her girlfriendâs. She isnât sure yet. Iâll text you guys?â
âIâll be here the entire holidays,â Namjoon sighed. âI still have finals.â
âAh, Iâm sorry,â you said, offering him a smile. He waved you off, mumbling something about how at least he was almost finished up with it all.Â
âWell, at least we will be spending New Yearâs together, right?â Jimin said with a smile.
You took a sip from your green tea, needing warmth because your University never turned on the heaters, preferring their students to freeze. Where did your tuition money go?Â
âOkay, but how about Christmas eve for everyone else? When are you guys heading back home again?â Hoseok asked, shovelling his protein oatmeal into his mouth. âYouâre going tonight, right, Ji? With Jennie?â
âYeah, our trainâs booked for 8 pm.â
âIâll go on the 23rd,â Jimin said, and Chaeyoung echoed the same.Â
âYouâre going tomorrow, right?â she asked Hoseok, and he nodded. âWhen are you meeting Kookâs parents again, Y/N? The 22nd?â
âYeah.â You played with the lip of your paper cup, feeling the warmth of your tea. Your heart grew a little heavier, scared one of them would ask when youâd go meet your parents. Because you werenât, at least not on Christmas eve. Both of them had to work, unable to take a day off. It was an irrational fear, you were aware. Because your friends knew that very well. Theyâd never ask, but your heart didnât understand.
âThatâs- oh my God, thatâs in four days, huh?â Jisoo gasped, and the horror and terror gripping you must have reflected on your face because she was quick to interject. âOh, sorry. No, itâs gonna be great, Y/N. I donât know why I said that. That was stupid.â
âYouâre still anxious about it, huh?â Hoseok mumbled, and though he worded it like a question, all of you knew the answer.
âHard not to be,â you said, voice a little short and curt. âIt comes in⌠waves.â
Namjoon patted your shoulder. âItâs gonna be fine.â
Chaeyoung reached for your hand, squeezing it. âYeah, Iâm sure. Weâre all gonna be there for you if it does somehow go wrongâwhich I highly, highly doubt might I add.â
âWell, not Jisoo. Sheâs gonna be home, busy showing off her Jennie,â you joked, trying to make light of the situation but it sounded just slightly off.
âWhat? I canât be there for you from home?â Jisoo gasped, and before you could question how sheâd do that, she continued. âIâm there for you too, telepathically! Jennie too! In your heart! Always! Over the phone! Donât doubt us!â
You laughed a little, mouthing an apology.
âBut you definitely wonât need us,â Jimin said. âBecause itâs gonna be fine. Especially because Kookâs gonna make sure of it, okay?â
Before you could return something, your eyes were drawn to the doors.
Oh.
Your friends followed your gaze.
Jungkook had his backpack strapped to his shoulder and the red scarf wrapped around his neck. It shouldnât be possible. You were technically too far for you to properly see, but you saw itâthe tension in his shoulders, the strain in his nape, the deep knit between his brows. He wasâŚ. annoyed. It was new to you. For a moment, you almost expected to find Narae walking behind him, bugging him, hot on his trail. It would explain it to you, and you would just simply walk over there and pull him to your table. Just like that, you would ease the knit between your brows, take the tension out of his shoulders and neck-
But it wasnât Narae.Â
It was Taehyung.Â
He said something to Jungkook that made him roll his eyes. Jungkook didnât seem to want to respond, shaking his head and waving his hand around, an attempt to end the conversation. But Taehyung wasnât so kind, going on, even taking hold of his shoulder.
âSomeone is in a mood,â Namjoon mumbled, cringing.
âWhat are they talking about, Y/N?â Jimin asked, looking at you, and you stared right back at him, frowning.
âHow would I know?â
âYouâre his girlfriend.â
âSo?â
âGo find out.â
âWhat? I just walk up to them and say,â you raised your voice a few pitches, ââOh my God, hi, you guys are clearly fighting. Care to share?â Is that what you want?â
Jimin blinked, shrugging. âSure, that would work.â
âYouâre so ridiculous, Jimin,â you hissed, touching a hand to your forehead. âThat wouldnât work.â
âOf course, it would. Kookâs absolutely obsessed-â
âOh my God, shut up,â Chaeyoung hissed, slapping Jimin. âTheyâre looking!â
âYou guys are always so loud,â Hoseok sighed, and you sent him a glare because no, you donât! Itâs just Jimin!
But they were right. Taehyung and Jungkook were both looking at you, their conversation having come to an end. When you met his gaze, Jungkookâs face contorted into something else, features twitching. You couldnât pinpoint what it was, but it wasnât the usual. He didnât soften in the way you were used to when he would see you. And when you tried a smile, Jungkook struggled to return it. You felt shot, and your smile faltered.
But Jimin didnât sense it at all, wildly waving his hand around, gesturing for the two to come this way. And as if it wasnât more obvious, he yelled it too, âHey, Tae and Kook! Come join us!â
Jisoo sighed, âHeâs such an idiot.â
Chaeyoung and Hoseok shrugged, as if to say well, itâs Jimin. They were right, it was just Jimin being himself, unaware and impulsive. Namjoon didnât have any words, shaking his head.Â
Jungkook and Taehyung looked at each other, exchanging a few words before the latter glanced at his watch and shook his head. He had to go. Taehyung placed his hand on Jungkookâs shoulder, whispering something into his ear. You must have imagined it but it looked like he glanced in your direction. But before you could think about it, Taehyung headed in the same direction he had previously come from, and Jungkook slowly made his way over, not meeting your eyes once.
âWhat were you arguing about?â Jimin asked when Jungkook stood in front of you, and you watched him grip the strap of his backpack, the skin over his knuckles stretching thin.
âJimin!â Jisoo hissed, punching him.Â
âOw!â
âRight, yeah, of course, youâd ask,â he smiled. âItâs fine.â
Jungkook said it with a laugh, but it was all wrong.Â
âWe werenât arguing.âÂ
And as if it wasnât enough, Jungkook put on his brightest and biggest smile. He showed it to everyone. Like a stone plunged into the deep sea, your heart sank. You had seen it before, that smile. It had decorated his lips during the Halloween party when you first walked in, or when you had first hurt his feelings while you had gone costume shopping.Â
Namjoon and you looked at each other shortly, both of you sensing it.Â
âIs everything-â
âWell, it looked like you were,â Jimin mumbled, accidentally interrupting Namjoon. He waited for Jungkook to budge and cave under his gaze, but when he wouldnât, he shrugged. âCome sit.â
Maybe he could feel your burning gaze on him, but Jungkook finally glanced in your direction. If only for a second, so very brief. But it dug into your heart and split it open, gutted you and left you utterly empty. You had seen him just yesterday, picked out your dress together, parted ways this morning a few hours ago, and now he seemed like another person. He looked so sad, sad in a way you hadnât seen before. You didnât think that any emotion close to that had ever crossed his features, not in your presence at least. It was so new and surprising to youâbecause somehow in your mind, you had forgotten he had the ability to feel⌠upsetâyou froze.
âIâm sorry, I have to go,â Jungkook said, nailing that same smile back onto his lips as before. âBut Iâll see you guys around.â
And before any of you could protest, he was gone, back turned to your table and heading into the crowd.Â
âWell, that was⌠weird,â Chaeyoung said, pointing out the elephant in the room. And as if she had said your name, everyone turned to you for some kind of answer.
You blinked back at them. âYeah, I-I donât know.â
There was another beat of silence before ultimately your friends shrugged.
âMaybe itâs just not a good day?â Hoseok proposed, and they were all quick to agree, moving on. And though you didnât voice it, you knew it wasnât that. It couldnât just be that.Â
You knew it was about you. It had to be. Taehyung had glanced at your direction. You hadnât imagined it, that much you were sure of. And the fact Jungkook hadnât been able to look at you cemented it for you. Your heart quickened, a certain question coming to the front of your mind.
What if Jungkook didnât want you to meet his parents anymore?
Maybe it had finally clicked with himâwhat it meant if you met his parents. How ridiculous it was. Because you werenât his girlfriend. It was his parents after all. How stupid all of it was actually. Not just you meeting his parents, but the entire contract you had. How far it had gone, too far.
You pressed your lips together, a knot forming in your throat. Maybe he didnât know how to tell you now. Maybe you should be prepared for the very worst. Maybe this was it. Impact incoming! The fall was nearing its end, your end.
Your hands began shaking, curling around the edge of the table for stability. Panic built up within you, panic that really shouldnât build up at all, you knew. Your friends blurred into an incohesive mess in front of you.
Oh God.
You didnât see Jungkook for the rest of the day, or the one after that. In fact, you didnât hear from him at all, until almost two days later. Maybe you should have reached out firstâyou did think about it. But you simply couldnât, your hands shaking whenever youâd open your chat with him, your old messages staring back at you almost mockingly. Because what if he told you he wanted to end it? What if this was how it would end because you couldnât wait and recklessly send a message?
There was a few seconds of silence, the sound of his breathing coming in through unsteadily. You gripped your phone tighter.
âHey.â
Jungkook still sounded the same, and for some reason, you were surprised. Why you expected him to sound different, you didnât know.Â
âHi,â you returned, swallowing because it was your voice, in fact, that sounded odd. At least it did to you. You cleared your throat.
Usually, heâd make some joke, ask you about your day, how you were doing, where you were, if you had watched the videos heâd sent you yet, eaten already. Usually, your conversation would be much lighter, easier. Right now, you felt the air hanging between you, pulling your legs closer to your chest as you waited and waited. He had called you, he would have to speak first.
âIâm sorry I didnât join you guys for lunch the other day,â Jungkook mumbled, and you closed your eyes.
âItâs alright,â you said, a waver to your voice and you couldnât decide if it was because you felt cold, even though you were tucked into your bed, or because you felt uncertain of it all, like you were standing at the edge of a cliff, the deep sea awaiting you on the other side, waves crashing up on you.Â
Neither of you said anything.Â
Your throat grew dry, the questions coming back up again within you. Was he going to tell you over the phone? That he didnât want you to meet his parents anymore. Maybe even that he wanted to call this entire thing off. That heâd realised this wasnât worth it anymore, doing all of this to win a stupid bet heâd made with Taehyung months ago. It had gotten too exhausting, you had gotten too exhausting for him. Letâs just end it here, tell everyone youâd just fallen out of love. Hell maybe heâd be even willing to tell everyone the truth, how theyâd been fooled. It had all been an act! How fun! How could you all think he was in love with-
âEverythingâs alright.â
You paused. âWhat?â
âI-â Jungkook faltered, letting out a laugh. It came through oh so light and clear. Just not quite genuine. Or maybe you were imagining it, your mind dissecting every of his words. âIâm just trying to say- things are alright. Itâs gonna be okay.â
And for some reason, you knew the words werenât meant to reassure you. But him. He needed it right now, more than you. You blinked, nodded as if he could see.
âYeah, everythingâs alright,â you repeated, quietly. âItâs gonna be okay.â
What exactly he referred to, you werenât sure. And you werenât going to ask. Heâd tell you when he wanted you to know, when he was ready. Truth be told, you werenât even entirely sure if you were ready for it, couldnât say either where your confidence that itâd be alright came from.Â
âIt will, right?â he laughed again, that same laugh. It came through now, the tinge of uncertainty swinging with his voice.Â
You added a small smile, reassurance. âOf course, it will. Always has.â
Jungkook waited a beat, thought about it for a second. âYeah, no, yeah youâre right.â
And then, you both went back to silence again. You were the one to break it, doing so before you could think better of it and retreat. The question slipped so quickly past your lips, came out of you with the answer to it packaged within already. For once, you dared something, held out your heart.
âDo you want to come over?â
The question seemed alright at first. Heâd tell you he was already on his way, in fact. Had you not heard the engine this entire time? Actually, look outside! How silly of you, he had gotten you again. Youâd laugh, buzz him up while telling him how annoying he was. Heâd fall into your arms, coat and scarf and shoes still on. Thereâd be no time for you to tell him to at least take off his shoes because heâd knock you over with his entire weight. But youâd hold him up, if not barely and struggling heavily. Youâd do it, and youâd do it with a smile. Heâd press a kiss to your lips and ask you again if things would just be fine. And youâd do the same as you did on the phone, like a good girlfriend does, youâd reassure him over and over again until youâd be too tired and fall asleep together. Things would truly be alright, youâd meet his parents and maybe resolve it all. Maybe he and you could be something, more. Maybe he meant it, all of it, the gestures and words and kisses. He and you, together, it could be possible-
âIâm sorryââ You wanted him to stop then. He didnât need to elaborate. It was enough. You bit down on your tongue, hard. âIâm⌠just really tired today.â
Jungkook hesitated, spoke slowly, and you wanted to laugh it off, tell him it was alright and to go to sleep, but your throat knotted into a terrible mess.Â
He didnât want you to meet his parents.
âHm.â
It was the only response you could offer. Because if you spoke, he would know, and he couldnât knowâthe tears that shot into your eyes.
You pressed your hand to your mouth, and wondered if your reassurance had done anything at all. If not actually you had needed it, even more than he did.Â
âI think- classes was exhausting, so yeah. You know, right? So Iâm gonna go to bed now,â Jungkook said, and you nodded, as if he could see you, and if you checked, youâd realise it was just eight. You bit your tongue harder.
He never liked you.
âOkay,â you squeaked out, your voice a few pitches too high. He had to know, you were sure of it. Anyone would know, even a drunk Jimin could figure it out. It was blatantly obvious, and you pressed your hand harder against your mouth, scared as you awaited what heâd say. You wouldnât know how to answer his questions if he asked you why you cried. It would be utterly humiliating to admit whyâthat you knew you never meant anything to him beyond what youâd agreed upon, but that he did to you. So much, in fact.Â
âGoodnight-â
You ended the call, your phone displayed his name for a few more seconds before you tossed it aside, uncaring that it bounced off your bed and youâd have to look for it later on the floor. A part of you wanted to laugh, outright laugh out loud, laugh so loud because maybe it would drown it out. Because were you not just silly? Stupid? Even more so for the tears that rolled down your face and stained your duvet three shades darker. Clear evidence of your silliness, your delusion, your unwavering and foolish hope.Â
It embarrassed and humiliated you, how quickly the tears came, how his words had crashed onto you, ship-wrecked you, buried you under. His words hurt, and his dismissal even more. Two words had been enough, had pierced your heart and left you tiptoeing a cliff. Jungkook had more power than you thought he did, power he shouldnât be holding over your head and heart to begin with. Power he shouldnât have because you didnât have it over him.
A text awaited you one morning, just a day before the 22nd.
[Jeon - 07:01 AM] : can i come over later tonight?
And a text was all it took.
Jungkook was not even a second late. Someone was in a hurry to get this over with, it almost made you laugh. Your doorbell rang the moment the clock turned seven. Still, you shrieked, hesitated, stared at your front door like you hadnât known heâd come, like you hadnât expected him to come.
You busied yourself with your phone, swiping back and forth, as he climbed up the stairs, your back turned to the door. You just couldnât watch as he stepped inside. This was it. Heâd tell you that heâd realised this had gotten too far, out of hand. You wouldnât have to meet his parents tomorrow, you had done your part. Heâd thank you, assure you heâd break the news to your friends and take the blame. Itâd be alright, you wouldnât have to do anything. And just like before you had ever talked to Jungkook at the vending machine, youâd go your own ways.Â
His steps grew louder, echoed less and less until he was inside. A draft pulled through your small flat as he shut the door behind you, quiet but final. You shivered and turned off your phone, heart heavy in your chest as you prepared yourself to turn around and face him. You had thought about it all day, agonised how itâd be like to see him again the past week, how youâd handle this, how you could retain just a bit of your pride at the end of this. The scenario played over and over again in your mindâyouâd look at him with a smile, tell him you understood perfectly and he didnât need to explain. It had been stupid anyway, fun but stupid. Both of you knew this wasnât anything really, it would come to an end. You didnât mind it at all.Â
âYou know, itâs alright, Jeon. I know what you wanna-â
Jungkook wrapped his arms around you with his coat and scarf and shoes on. He pressed you to his chest, held you even tighter when you hesitated to return his hug, as if he needed to physically feel you, be sure you were there.
You hadnât seen him all week, and all of a sudden, you didnât know what to do around him anymore.
âJeon?âÂ
âCan you hug me?â he asked you, voice barely above a whisper, and though you had been so sure about what would happen just seconds ago, pictured how your conversation would go, you realised you knew nothing at all. You did as he said, putting your arms around his middle and squeezing as tightly as you could, holding your breath even.
You didnât know how long you stayed like this, but when you pulled away, Jungkook looked at you in a way you had never seen. He took your hands into his.
âIâm sorry, cabbage,â he began, and in the dim light, you could see his eyes glaze over. âI donât know whatâs been going on with me for the past week.â
He paused, breathed in deeply, looked to the side before returning his gaze to you.Â
âI think- thereâs just been a lot on my mind, and I had to figure it out first, I think,â he continued. âI-I donât think I fully have, but I will, soon.â
You looked at him, silent for a few seconds before you nodded, brushing your thumbs over the inside of his wrists.
âThatâs okay,â you told him, giving him a smile. âItâs fine. I understand.â
Truth be told, you didnât know where you took your words from, where you dug up that reassurance again. Because youâd felt the opposite for the past week. Itâd been a horrible week for you, sleepless and anxious.Â
Youâd been tiptoeing a thin line, wondering every second when exactly this would blow over, just how close you were to impact, when your fall would end. Would it be a text? A call? Would he just show up to your doorstep unannounced one evening after you had come back from exhausting classes and do it then? Or would it be Jimin whoâd relayed the messages? Would he not tell you at all, deeming not worth the effort even? So, it had been nice to be told the truthâthat things had been confusing for Jungkook and he hadnât figured out how to navigate it allâand yet you werenât sure if it was enough for you, if it qualmed your worries.
âIâm really sorry, cabbage,â Jungkook repeated, and you wondered what he was so sorry for that he needed to apologise twice. If maybe you were right. Why else would he feel so apologetic? Was the ending coming and he just needed some more time to figure out the order of his words, unable to bring it over his heart?Â
You should ask him if the things plaguing his mind was how to end this. You should, really. Regardless of the answer, it would free you, however painful it might just be. Youâd find peace. Maybe you feared the pain too much, the tears that would run down your face, the embarrassment that would rip you into pieces, or maybe you didnât care enough for yourself to find out the truth, but you didnât ask.Â
Your smile grew bigger, and you didnât know who you were fooling, him or you. âDonât be. Itâs okay, Jeon.â
Jungkook took your face into his hands, staring into your eyes, looking so intensely at you like heâd never before. He was searching something, and you werenât sure if he found it, if you held whatever he looked for at all.
âItâll be fine,â you said, and this was for you, not him.Â
âItâll be fine,â he repeated, nodding, and as he leaned closer to you, you wondered if the same would apply tomorrow. When youâd meet his parents, stand in front of them. When theyâd scrutinise every little detail about you and come to their conclusion on who you were before you could even open your mouth and utter your name.Â
You let Jungkook pull you into a kiss, returned it with the same intensity. Both of you needed it right now. What exactly you offered each other, you couldnât pinpoint. But it was enough to silence your mind and his too.Â
When his hands wandered, so did yours. He pushed you to your bed, and you let your mattress catch your fall. Your sweater landed on your floor, and soon the rest of your clothes followed. His coat and the scarf you had made him found its place at the foot of your bed. He struggled for a bit to kick off his boots before ultimately stumbling out of them.
Jungkook pressed kisses from your lips to your ear down to your neck and collarbone. Slowly, they wandered further down and down, stopping as he paid extra attention to the places he learned you liked, made your back arch in his favourite way and your breath hitch so beautifully in your throat. Soon, you were pleading with the Gods above, curling your hands around your duvet as Jungkook familiarised himself with you again. His hands pried you open, splitting you into two again and again, bringing you high above. You returned the favour, listened as he found religion through you, drawing out his relief until he needed your lips on his instead. By now, you knew him blindly, your hands finding the sensitive parts of him even as he carved his way back to yours.
âIâve missed you,â Jungkook mumbled into your ear when he began moving, and you smiled, wrapped your arms around him. So had you.Â
âMe too,â you returned, your hips finding a steady rhythm together. He pressed kisses to your skin, hands holding you oh so tightly like he usually would. But he hadnât said it, hadnât told you for the entire week, not even now when he would on any other dayâthat he loved youâand so maybe that was why you fell asleep with an uneasy heart.Â
Had he not promised? That heâd be there for every second of the day, from the moment you woke up to the moment you went back to bed, glued to your side until you were sick of him? Was that not what he had said, the words he assured you with? So how was it that you awoke alone, like you had been for the entire past week, without him?
Jungkook wasnât here, and yet you looked around your home like he could be hidden in some corner. He didnât like you anymore, you were sure. Why would he? He never did to begin with. Probably regretted this more than anything else, realised just how exhausting it was to be with you. It wouldnât be worth it. His parents wouldnât like you, tell him that he could do better. Heâd agree- actually he knew that already. Yesterday night had been a mistake, just like all the other times had been. He and you werenât the same, never could be. Just like two mismatching puzzle pieces, youâd never make a whole picture together. Youâd been right, of course. Jungkook could never like you, never saw you as anything more than a paw in this stupid cruel game between Taehyung and you. And you had been played, over and over again. How stupid of you. Foolish! This-
The blaring of your alarm brought you back to reality, the sound filling your ears. You had forgotten to turn it off. You reached for your phone, shutting it off but before you could toss it aside, you saw it. It made you pause, his name atop of your notifications. A voice memo, just over two minutes. Like it had been all you had been looking for, you hurriedly unlocked your phone. You were about to hit start, when you paused, your thumb hovering just above it. Because it could be anythingâa simple breakfast run, or a goodbye. A pit grew in your stomach, and you wished he had just left you a clue about what heâd be saying in it. Your chest webbed tightly with anxiety, a rollercoaster in your throat.
You took in a deep breath, bracing yourself, eyes closed as you hit play. Whatever it might be, youâd be fine, somehow, you hoped.
âHey, Iâm so sorryââ Your chest felt so hollow, his voice unsteady. He was running, the wind blowing up the audio. He sounded far away, you had to strain to hear him properly, your phone on maximum volume. ââI know I promised to be there when youâd wake up, butââ
But I just couldnât do this any longer. I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I just didnât know how to. Iâm sorry.
ââmy mom called me. Sheâs having an emergency with her car, and now sheâs stuck in- actually, I donât know where, but Iâm on my way there to jumpstart her car. And I thought about waking you up for it, but that felt mean and you looked so peaceful, I just couldnât. But- itâs so cold, oh my God. Listen, I donât know when Iâll be back, but Iâm gonna hurry, okay? So just wait for me, alright? Iâll be there, I promise.â
You heard the door of his car open and close. The wind cut out, and all of a sudden it was quiet. There was ruffling, Jungkook took his phone closer to his face. He sighed, and you could see him right in front of your eyesâsitting there in his car, hair a mess on his head, as he closed his eyes to find his words, a knit between his brows.
âIâm really sorry, cabbage,â he began again. âBoth for leaving now because I know I had promised Iâd be there, and⌠again for the past week. I know Iâve been shit, and I know youâve been confused and- Iâm sorry. I havenât been fair at all-â
Neither had you however, you realised as you listened to him talk. Of course, Jungkook had only left because his mother needed his help. How could you assume the worst of him after everything? When he was so good and kind? Had been all this time to you?
âBut we will figure this out, okay?â
Jungkook paused again. You pulled your legs to your chest, burying your face into your knees, teeth sinking into your tongue.
âLetâs talk about this after today. But itâs gonna be fine. Like you said it would.â
You had lied.
âWhat am I talking about?â He let out a small laugh, and you knew he was shaking his head at himself. âItâs already fine.âÂ
You felt like a traitor. You were terrible.
âIâll be back to pick you up, okay? So just wait for me. I hope I can get to you by two the latest. I hope it wonât take too long to figure it all out. You know, I actually donât know how to jumpstart a car, so I really donât know why my mom called me.â
He laughed again, and you didnât think you could ever get the sound out of your mind. It was so pretty and melodic, so good and precious.Â
âWell, anyway, I gotta get going, but I canât wait for tonight already. I miss you.â
You missed him too, loved him even. Did he? Could he? Could you?
It was cowardly of you, hypocritical actually. But you couldnât do it differently, didnât have the courage to look at Jungkook and say it. The words wouldnât leave you, you were certain, if you stood in front of him. He deserved more than a text, but more than that he deserved the truth. And the truth was you couldnât do this, any of it in fact, not anymore. Couldnât meet his parents, or even pretend to be his girlfriend any longer, not in good conscience. It had to end.
Your thumbs shook as you slowly found the right letters, strung together the words and sentences. You hit delete every other word, barely getting a paragraph together in almost an hour. Because worst of all, even as you tried to offer some honesty, you knew you couldnât offer it entirely to him, couldnât let Jungkook know just how exactly you felt, how deeply you had plunged into love with him.Â
Iâm sorry, Jeon, but I donât think I can keep this going any longer. I know I said Iâd meet your parents, but I think weâre just going a little too far by doing that. I hope you understand. I know Iâm not fulfilling our contract and youâll lose your bet with Taehyung and Iâm really sorry, so Iâll just wire back all the money. I never touched it anyway.Â
You were about to finish off the paragraph, deciding that any wishes for your future relationship as friends would be too much to ask for, thumb sliding over the glass, when your phone lit up, buzzing and ringing. And right just then, you accepted the call, your heart dropping in your chest. Your stomach twisted terribly because you couldnât do this. How could you? Hear his voice, talk to him as if you werenât just about to call this entire thing off over text? How could you pretend it was all fine when youâd felt gutted for the entire week?
âHey,â Jungkook greeted you, oh so unaware. You could hear the harsh wind coming through the speaker. âIâm sorryââ
You wished heâd stop apologising. If he just knew what youâd been thinking of him for the past few days, all the assumptions you had made about him and his character, his parents too.Â
ââbut looks like I wonât make it by two.â
There was a sigh, and you let the silence usher Jungkook to keep on speaking, knowing your voice would merely betray you.
âI tried to jumpstart the car, but yeah, it didnât work out. We called some people now and seems like weâre gonna have to have the car towed and fixed at the shop.â
The frustration bled through in Jungkookâs voice. It was obvious. He had spent all morning trying desperately to fix his momâs car in the freezing cold, and now it had come to this.
âWe called my dad. Heâs on his way here because I still need to go back to my parents and take a shower. Itâs gonna take some timeâthe drive to my parents, the shower and then the drive to your placeâso I definitely wonât make it by two. But I should be at your place by three the latest though, I hope thatâs fine?â
You closed your eyes, wondered just what exactly you were supposed to say. And so, for a while you didnât as you gathered yourself.
âCabbage? Are you there? Can you hear-â
âY-yeah.â You chewed on your lip, took a few more seconds before speaking. âYou⌠donât have to come-â
âWhat? No, I promised you Iâd drive you. Let me at least do that,â Jungkook insisted, and you hoped heâd just understand. How direct did you have to be?Â
âItâs fine, you donât have to,â you tried, but to no avail.
He snorted. âCabbage, Iâm driving you. No matter what. My dadâs almost here. You wonât have to wait long. Iâll probably be at your place before three actually. I shower quickly!â
You pressed your hands to your eyes until dark spots appeared, shaking your head. Why couldnât he just understand?Â
A lump knotted your throat shut, your voice wavering as you began speaking, âI-I think we should just-â
âAh, my dadâs here! I gotta go, cabbage. But please just wait, Iâll be there soon, okay? Canât wait to see you! Itâs gonna be great. Youâre gonna charm their asses off, okay?â
And before you could even protest, confess to Jungkook that you couldnât do any of this, he had hung up. You stared as your phone displayed your lockscreen before ultimately turning black, leaving you with your reflection.
You caught yourself in your mirror, realising how puffy your eyes were. It was blatantly obvious you had cried. You were a mess, in no state to meet anyoneâs parents, no less Jungkookâs perfect parents. But now you couldnât even get yourself out of this anymore, not when you had heard his excitement again. How could you disappoint him?Â
Just one more day. Youâd do it for one more day, him and you. Youâd just get today over with, that much you owed him, and then youâd sit him down to break it all off.
The dress was still oh so beautiful on you, harmonised perfectly with the white cropped cardigan you had picked out for today because it was, indeed, cold like Jungkook had said it was, and you really didnât want to freeze. Your hair remained the same as always. You had thought about changing it, but decided in the end that at least your hair should be the way you were used to. Same with your jewellery, the same few pieces you wore every day adorning you today too. You kept the makeup minimal, and still it took you ages to get it done, hands shaky as you carefully drew on eyeliner and curled your lashes.Â
Looking at yourself you wondered if it was enough to fool everyone, yourself possibly even that you were perfectly fine, that you fit to Jungkook, that he and you could be something more, that your background was the same as theirs, that you were just another Narae, well-off and well-travelled.
But your doubts and worries had no time to brew, your doorbell announcing Jungkook. Shrugging on your coat and slipping into the pair of black kitten heels you had borrowed from Chaeyoung, you gave yourself one more look in the mirror. You looked beautiful, you knew that. Everything about you looked so close to perfect, and yet, you felt the opposite. Today was the last time for Jungkook and you, and just the thought made you want to cry.
You shook your head, not wanting to keep Jungkook waiting any longer. It was truly cold, and you regretted your choice of shoes the moment you stepped outside, cursing yourself. The wind snaked up your legs. Maybe if you knew that this wasnât going to be your last day together as a pretend couple, you would have run up and changed. But more than ever before, you wanted to look your best today. Because at the very least, however today might end (badly), you looked good.
Jungkook agreed, face lighting up the moment he laid his eyes on you. You tried your very best to return your smile. He looked oh so good too, wondering if he matched you on purpose. His sweater was the same deep rich red as yours, a white turtleneck layered underneath. He paired it off with some black slacks and black boots, your scarf wrapped tightly around his neck. You couldnât look at him too long, vision beginning to swim when you did, so you focused on the ground, one step after the other.
âYouâre so beautiful,â Jungkook gasped, clutching his chest and pretending to have a heart attack.Â
âThank you,â you said, speaking quietly, afraid your voice was going to betray you. âYou too.â
Your compliment made his smile turn into a grin. âWell, youâre prettier.â
Usually, youâd make some snarky comment, fall into the same old banter youâd established with him long ago. Today, you could barely bring yourself to look at him.Â
âLetâs-â
Jungkook cupped your face, lifting your eyes to him, forcing you to face him. His gaze turned your insides soft and puddy, hands beginning to shake by your side.
âIâm so happy, cabbage,â he whispered, pressing a kiss to your lips. It almost made you cry. You screwed your eyes shut. Before the kiss could go on longer, devastate you more, crush you further, you pulled away.
âI-Iâve got lipgloss on,â you mumbled, giving Jungkook a short smile before stepping aside to walk to his car. He laughed behind you, telling you how he didnât mind at all, but still, he followed you.
Just as you were about to reach for the car door, he did it for you. Always the gentleman. You paused for a second, surprised (why were you?), before climbing inside, heart heavy as you waited for him to just close the car door. Jungkook didnât though, drawing your eyes back to him.
âAre you sure about the shoes?â he asked you, brows furrowed together. âItâs cold. Youâre not even wearing stockings.â
You felt even more self-conscious all of a sudden, tucking your feet underneath the seat, cheeks warming and heart thrumming. These shoes were the only ones that fit with your outfit. You didnât have an extensive shoe collection, anything you could change into now wouldnât match. Itâd be a waste not to wear them, especially after you had asked Chaeyoung to borrow them.
âY-yeah, itâs fine.â
Jungkook seemed to disagree, still standing there with the car door in his hand, and when he opened his mouth, you knew he was going to argue with you.
âI really-â
âItâs fine,â you repeated, reaching for the door handle. âLetâs just go. Weâre gonna be late.â
The frown didnât disappear from his face, but he conceded, albeit with a sigh. His hand squeezed yours, and you flinched, pulling it away as if he burned you. Jungkook stopped, eyes shooting to yours.
Your heart dropped in your chest. Oh no.Â
You put on your brightest and biggest smile. âSorry, your handâs just super cold,â you laughed.Â
Jungkook blinked before smiling, âAh, sorry.â
With that he shut the car door, and you pulled the seat belt across your body, readying your words on your tongue that you had thought of this entire time.
Iâm super tired. Do you mind if I sleep during the ride?
It was a blatant lie. Every nerve and fibre of your body was lit up, wired tightly. You couldnât find sleep even if you laid in your bed now. The thought of having to talk to Jungkook for the entirety of the car ride, however, turned your stomach upside down.Â
You decided to wait for him to put on the seat belt first before saying it, needing a few more seconds to rid the knot from your throat. From the corner of your eye, you watched as he climbed inside, putting his key into the ignition, rubbing his hands together. But rather than reach for the seat belt, Jungkook fumbled with the console, turning on the heat, carefully turning the knob back and forth. Warm air started blasting from the heaters immediately, wrapping you up from every direction.
âDo you want the seat warmer too?â
He looked at you so sincerely. You crumbled almost.
âI-Itâs okay.â
âJust say a word and Iâll change it, okay? Donât want you freezing,â he said before strapping the seat belt across his chest. You turned to the window.Â
Your voice wavered slightly. âUh, Iâm super tired. Do you mind if I sleep during the ride?â
âOh, yeah, no, totally. Get some sleep. Iâll wake you up when weâre there. Gonna take a while anyway.â
You hummed in response, frowning when you saw Jungkook rub his hands together, blowing into them, even holding them up to the heaters for a few seconds. Before you could wonder for too long, he took your hand into his, thumb brushing back and forth.
âWarm enough?â
He said it with such a beautiful smile. It shattered you. You merely nodded before turning away, eyes closing shut, a lump stuck in your throat. The gesture, however small, dug into your heart like a knife. He was so nice, so kind, so good. And for the past week, you had thought the worst of him.Â
You knew you had arrived even before Jungkook parked the car. The engine slowly shut off, keys jangling when he pulled them out. You heard the click of his seat belt, some shuffling, and your heart beat faster as you waited for him to wake you up. Truth be told, you hadnât thought this through. How were you going to convince him that you had slept this entire time when you hadnât even for a single second? The last time you had pretended to sleep in the car was when you were seven and didnât want to go to school. And even then, it hadnât worked, your mother seeing right through you.
Jungkook had held your hand the entire ride. You had so gotten used to the feeling of his warmth that when he slowly pried his hand out of yours, you felt oddly cold. For a second, you thought you had to have imagined it when you heard the car door open. But when the sound of it softly closing followed, you knew you hadnât. Maybe he wanted to come around and then wake you up?
You waited a few more seconds but when your car door remained shut, you slowly peeled your eyes open. Once again, Jungkook wasnât there. But your attention turned to the house across the street instead. Jisoo and Chaeyoung had, of course, asked for Jungkookâs addressâJust in case. He had happily sent it to them, and you too if you wanted to forward it to anyone else too. (The fact that Jisoo was over an hour's train ride away didnât matter by the way.) You couldnât recall the address, but you did remember the house number, and you were definitely staring at the right house right now.
It was bigger than you could have imagined it to be. It was so absurdly big, almost cartoonishly so. Even more so because it was decked out with all kinds of Christmas lights and stockings. You doubted no second the inside rivalled Chaeyoungâs and Jisooâs home. But however ridiculous it was to you, this was Jungkookâs childhood home, the house where he grew up in. Where he spent his childhood and teenage years. This particular house. A house. Whilst you grew up in a flat, just with enough space to cram in your little family.
You saw him then, standing next to the expensive car parked in the driveway. Jungkook opened the car door to the passenger seat, and a second later, his mother stepped out. He offered her his hand, earning himself a big smile from her. From inside the car, you couldnât hear what she said, but you could imagine it. She was right, he was a great son.Â
Jungkook looked a lot like his mother, you realised. She had gifted him with her kind eyes and soft big smile. No wonder, her son was so beautiful. She was an elegant woman. It was obvious. The kind of woman that wore cashmere sweaters, baked fresh bread every Sunday, made sure to do her skincare routine every morning and night, expensive creams and serums lining her bathroom cupboard. Not a single hair on her head was grey. She was the perfect wife and mother.
From the driver's seat, a man emerged, Jungkookâs dad. There was a hint of grey colouring his hair, but he pulled it off well. He was shorter than Jungkook by a bit, but you could see right away where Jungkook got his confidence from. For a moment, you wondered if that was how Jungkook would look like when he was older. Would he resemble his father? His dad quickly rounded the car, greeting his son with a hug before taking his wifeâs hand into his. He had a kind smile too, you noticed. Of course, he did.
Jungkook had to have said something particularly funny because both his parents erupted into laughter. You looked away, closing your eyes.Â
What were you doing here?
The question blared louder than ever before. Could you really do this? Fool everyone? Yourself too? The answer was obvious to you as you looked ahead. A part of you wished you had come to that conclusion before you had gotten into the car. You didnât know your way around this neighbourhood (of course, not), but you knew you had to get away from here either way.
You stepped out of the car, quietly shutting the door. He couldnât see, couldnât know. You had to get away, now.
âWhereâs your girlfriend, Kook?âÂ
His fatherâs voice made you pause. Jungkook sounded so much like him.
âIn the car. Sheâs sleeping.â
âAre you not gonna wake her up? At least, let her come inside and sleep inside. Itâs so cold.â
âNo, I was gonna, but then I saw you and dad pull up,â Jungkook explained, his voice carried to you through the wind. His car offered you enough coverage to hide and at the same time allowed a clear view of Jungkook and his parents. âAlso, I was gonna get her another pair of shoes. Sheâs wearing heels.â
His mother gasped. âIn this weather? Does she at least have stockings on?â When he shook his head, she gasped again. âNo, thatâs not good. You better get her another pair of shoes. Sheâs gonna freeze!â
âI know- ah, I turned off the heat!â Jungkook touched his forehead as if to say how stupid of him.Â
You pressed your lips together, teeth sinking into your tongue. The guilt clawed up your throat, raw and red. It hurt, so much so that you didnât even feel the cold wind on your feet and up your legs, or the way they ached from the unnatural arch the heels forced them into.Â
âGo get your girlfriend some shoes,â Jungkookâs father told him. âIâll get the groceries-â
âWhat? No, let me, dad. I can do both. Iâll be quick.â
âItâs fine, Kook. We donât want your girlfriend freezing.â His mother placed her hand on his shoulder. But like the good son he was, he wasnât having it, already moving to open the trunk.
âItâs okay. I turned off the car just now, and sheâs been sleeping peacefully this entire time. Iâll be quick,â Jungkook insisted. âYou guys get inside.â
His parents looked at him with a sigh, realising defeat. Jungkookâs father handed him the car keys.
âWell, you better be quick. You know we canât wait to meet Y/N.â
And with that, they walked inside, hand in hand. Your heart shattered, your name rolling so easily off their lips. It was so odd to hear them say it, hear with how much kindness they did.Â
You should just go now, take this opportunity to run, but your feet remained cemented, your eyes following Jungkook as he brought the first two bags up to the front door before grabbing the last two out of the car. Moving his foot underneath the sensor, the trunk closed automatically. You knew nothing about cars but you knew that such a feature didnât come with most, and was definitely not cheap either.
Right now, looking ahead of you, you could see for the first time clearly just how different Jungkook and you were. There were two different worlds between you, a distance that no one could cross, no less a relationship that wasnât genuine to begin with. It had been nice and fun, foolishly nice and fun, to pretend all this time, but in the end it had been foolish more than anything.Â
Why you didnât move still remained a mystery to you. Maybe your feet had really frozen to the sidewalk, the heels one of your worst ideas yet, or maybe you simply couldnât do it, bring it over your heart to just walk away. Maybe you just needed a little more, of him and you. You knew these few seconds would be the last ones of peace before it would all crumble. The illusion would shatter. He and you would be done, forever. There would be no more hangouts together with all your friends, no more cookies and Avatar marathons, no more kisses and hugs.Â
Jungkook and you would dissolve, just as quickly as it had all begun in that library with a notebook and pen.Â
Jungkook was about to turn around and close the door and heâd see you, standing there on the sidewalk with your eyes set straight on him. Heâd see you and heâd smile and put down the bags and walk over to you and ask you why you were standing there and why did you get out of the car and how cold it was. How stupid and silly of you!Â
Heâd come over and bring you into a hug and his lips would ghost over the crown of your head and youâd cave and melt and youâd go in and meet his family and itâd hurt so much to tell Jungkookâs parents what your parents did when theyâd inevitably ask you because of course they would and youâd have to see as they realised that your parents didnât get to enjoy higher education. Theyâd be silent for a few seconds before nodding and smiling. Theyâd quickly change the topic because it was better to talk about something else and oh I heard something so interesting on the news recently, did you hear?
But you didnât move, even as Jungkook turned, arms heavy with grocery bags, and lifted his head, eyes meeting yours as you predicted he would. His lips lifted up into a smile, a smile bigger than youâd expected. He didnât move though. Instead he blurred into a heap of colours.
You could no longer do this.
The image of him cleared as the first tears fell, and you watched as his face crumbled while he watched your chest heave up and down, sobs pushing out from your throat.Â
Jungkook let go of the grocery bags, the contents spilling out. When he took his step towards you, you did too, away from him. He stilled, frozen. Why, you could see it on his face. Why were you crying? Why were you moving away from him? He deserved answers, an explanation, but the most you could muster up right now was the shake of your head.
No.
And then you took off.Â
âY/N!âÂ
You pressed your hand to your lips, scared of filling the street with your gut wrenching sobs. Tears kept streaming down your face, hot and heavy.Â
You did feel sorry for doing this to Jungkook. But you had to. Because he wasnât going to. It had to be you. You who finally saw the truth in the eye that this was ridiculous, that this had gone off the rails, that Jungkook and you should have never gotten to this point, to where you found comfort in his arms and he knew your favourite cookies and you showed him your home and he knew more than he should about you. To the point where you had shared the bed together and knew the softness of the otherâs lips. To the point where you had irrevocably and undeniably and unfortunately fallen for Jungkook.
You were in love with Jeon Jungkook, and it was the worst thing you could have done to yourself-
âY/N!â
And it was affirmed when he seized your elbow and turned you around. You didnât make it very far. Your eyes locked with his, and you could see it in them. How this was going to end. How this had to end, now.Â
You were reminded of when you ran out on Jaehwa after seeing him for the first time again. It was what you always did, you realised. Run.Â
You just never expected youâd have to run out on Jungkook too.
His eyes, wide and big, searched your face, for something to give him a clue as to what was going on in the head of yours, anything. He didnât understand.Â
You pulled away from him as if his touch burned you, pushed him away.
âWhy? Whatâs wrong?â he asked, frantic, reaching out for you again, but you couldnât let him touch you, tumbling backwards. Hurt flashed across his features, but this was for the best. Why did you have to be this dramatic? How stupid of you!
âI-I canât,â you stuttered, shaking your head, dragging your coat sleeve frantically on your cheeks. âI-I just canât.â
Jungkook stared at you, face twisting and morphing into emotions you couldnât decipher. You had never really understood him anyway.
âO-okay, hey, thatâs fine.â
Who would have thought this would hurt so much to hear?
âThatâs alright.â
He should be furious, absolutely and utterly mad with you. You had just run away. If he hadnât caught you, he would have had to somehow explain to his parents why his so-called perfect girlfriend was suddenly gone. And yet, he met you with empathy and kindness. Jungkook was so good, so precious. He was so much better than you, deserved more.Â
âIâll give you a ride home-â
âNo!â you screamed, lungs heaving for air, chest rising and falling dramatically. You shook your head, repeated it again, quieter this time. âNo, you donât understand.â
Jungkook stared at you, mouth opening and closing. âOkay, then explain. But letâs do this in the car-â
âWhy are you like this?â You threw the question at his head, venomous and bitter. The anger wasnât fair, shouldnât be aimed at him at all. What had he done to deserve it? And yet, you couldnât find it in you to shift the target. âWhat are we doing?â
His brows knitted together, the knit deepening. âI-I donât know what you mean.â You looked at him as if he should. âCan we get to the car first, cabbage-â
You flinched. How could he still call you that?Â
âThis is so stupid,â you scoffed, shaking your head, eyes looking at everything but him. The cold wind blew your tears away, and your cheeks felt raw from all of the rubbing and dragging. âI- this is so wrong on so many levels. Why am I even here? What are we even doing? Why are you like this?â
âYou donât want to meet my parents, thatâs fine. I really think we should get to the car-â
âWhy? Because you donât want your neighbours and parents to see what crazy person youâve brought home?â
âWhat? No! Who said that? I wanna get to the car because itâs freezing cold and you only have a coat and heels on-â
âOh, please, Jeon!â The laugh slipping from your lips made Jungkook flinch. It was so mean, filled with so much spite. âDonât pretend to be good. What a cheap and pathetic act!â
None of the words you spoke were truthful. You didnât know where you pulled them from, you didnât believe any of them. All of them were hollow and mean. But maybe theyâd be enough though to bring out anger within Jungkook, make him come to the same realisation as you hadâthat he and you had to end. But knowing him, heâd meet you with empathy and kindness over and over again.Â
He had to hate you.Â
You had to make him hate you. Otherwise, this would never find an end. Otherwise, heâd convince you of the opposite, and youâd never be able to let go of him. Otherwise, youâd lose yourself completely to him.
And when you looked at Jungkook, you knew you were right. Because there was no no fire in his eyes, nothing. He still stared at you the same way he used to. Even after you had called him names. Hating you was the only option.
âI really think we should just talk this out another time.â
Defeat, you realised, contorted his features. Not anger. Not spite. None of it. Just defeat. You closed your eyes, shaking your head.
âYouâre clearly not in the best of moods and saying stuff that you donât mean. I don't know whatâs going on, but let me just give you a ride home and weâll figure this out another-â
âFigure out what?â You leaned forward, gestured wildly around yourself. âWe? Oh, please, Jeon, thereâs no fucking âweâ. Donât make me laugh!â
He shook his head, hands running through his hair.Â
âI really donât think you mean any of this, Y/N. I know this entire situation must be bringing up bad memories for you- I know Jaehwa hurt you-â
âWhat? This has nothing to do with him,â you scoffed, narrowing your eyes, the words pushing through your clenched teeth like a bullet out of a gun. âWhat do you know, Jeon? What do you really know, huh? Actually, how can you know anything? You with your perfect stupid fucking family with a house oh so big because you just had to show everybody how you were better and richer and greater. What do you know about anything, really?â
You werenât making sense, but you could see a change in Jungkookâs face, the flicker in his eyes as you mentioned his family. Bullseye.
âMiss me with that bullshit. Youâre the kind of people I hate. Itâs all so fake and condescending- fuck, youâre so stupidly loaded youâre paying me to pretend to date you so you can win a stupid shitty bet with Taehyung. Your parents must be so proud of their great great son.â
He closed his eyes, screwed them so tightly shut in hopes that maybe if he did so long enough, this would turn out to be a bad dream. This wasnât happening. Things werenât falling apart like that. They couldnât. His hands curled into fists.
âNow you canât even look at me, Jeon?â you sneered, voice and words growing more and more vicious. âCanât face the truth, right? You pretend to be so good, so kind. But for fuckâs sake, look at the house you grew up in! Look at where I live! Youâre the same as Jaehwa- actually, no because at the very least, he didnât pretend like he and I werenât different. You should have some shame, but I guess with parents-â
âY/N!â
Your name cut through the air, and for once, you stopped and breathed. Jungkook had peeled his eyes open again, teeth gritted, jaw pulled taunt, hands curled into tight fists.Â
âI really think itâd be better if you stopped talking now.â
And yet, it wasnât the response you wanted.
You could have cried then, bawled, fallen to your knees and just admitted to it all. How much you did love him and how much you wanted him, but couldnât have him because this just wasnât going to work because he never really did love you and neither would his parents. He and you were doomed, like the moon and the sun. He just would never see it, too idealistic for his own good. Your blatant and devastating flaws. You werenât good or kind. You had to be the one to pull the plug, to call this what it wasâwrong.
âYeah, of course, youâd say that,â you mumbled, the tip of your shoes digging into the concrete, rolling back and forth. The scratching sound it produced soothed you oddly.
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?âÂ
âYou know what I mean. You rich people just canât ever face the truth-â
âNo, you idiot!âÂ
His voice echoed through the empty street, loud and clear. Anger and disdain coloured his words, features twisting and knits deepening. There it was, finally. The anger and upset you had waited and waited for, the blow of the bomb, the finale.Â
âI think you should stop talking because I love you and I donât want my heart broken any further!â
Jungkook was so loud. You had never heard him so loud before, yell like that, tell you so abundantly clear that he loved you. It was the declaration of declarations, blaring and grand. You had wanted to hear it, needed to hear it all this time, all this weekâthat he loved youâand now when you finally did, it was truly the worst thing anyone had ever told you ever. Because it was everything you wished for, but you couldnât have it, none of it. It wasnât real, and even if it was, even if he meant it and he loved you, you couldnât be with him. The truth didnât matter. You were too damaged, too broken, too fucked up to never not doubt Jungkook, not to fear that heâd leave at any point.Â
Youâd never trust him.
âI donât know whatâs going on with you!â He pointed at you, face scrunched and eyes red, tears welling. âI thought we had gotten past this- isnât it obvious that I do really love-â
âOh, please. You goddamn liar!â Your voice shook, broke in your throat and mouth, head spinning. You were losing Jungkook, spectacularly so. âWhat do you know about love? This is an act, Jeon! Youâre not in love with me! Youâre in love with an act! Youâre in love with the idea of winning your stupid bet with-â
âNo, no-â
âYes, Jeon, you donât know shit. You pretend like you do- think you do when in reality, you donât know anything about me. Who am I if not just a pawn in your game? Someone you paid, so you could boast and brag that you didnât get rejected, huh?â
Jungkook licked his lips, veins bulging in his neck as he tried his very best to not go too far, implode on you, hands digging into the roots of his hair. âNo, thatâs not true. The bet between Tae and meââ
âActually, you know what? I donât even care. Because all of it is wrong. Itâs not what we agreed upon-â
âOkay, yeah, so we werenât supposed to kiss and spend time together privately, or sleep with each other and talk on the phone for hours. But look at us now!â He pointed between him and you, as if there was something between you. âWe did it all, okay? And? Was it so bad?â
His eyes fixed yours, so deeply. He took a step towards you, and you didnât back away, couldnât.
âYou call me a liar when I tell you I love youââ His voice shook, trembled terribly, and you could see Jungkook fight to find the right words, struggle to speak. It pained you to know it was all because of you. How easy would it be to take it all back? Admit fault and go back? But would it be right? ââbut tell me then, why are you looking at me like that?â
You tried a laugh. A laugh that was meant to dismiss it all, deny the truth, but it sounded hollow and wrong. You couldnât even look him in the eyes, beginning to crumble. And Jungkook saw right through you.
âLook at me and tell me you donât feel something!âÂ
You closed your eyes, crossing your arms in front of your stomach. The world began to spin faster and faster, and you felt like you were losing the ground underneath yourself.
âYouâre not being fair,â you whispered, shaking your head. You were speaking much quieter now, your voice having lost all of its bite and edge. This had been harder than you expected. âYouâre breaking the contract-â
âOh my God, will you forget about that? Both of us broke it a long time ago, willingly! Can you please just forget about all of itâthe contract, the betâand look at the facts?â
Jungkook was begging at this point. Would you come to your senses?
âDo you really genuinely think that the past weeks- months didnât mean anything to me? That it was really all just pretend? That I lied about all of it? That Iâm really such a big asshole that Iâd pretend to be in love with you this entire time, call you daily, buy you your favourite cookies, hold your hand and kiss you and tell youââ This seemed to drain Jungkook of everything, voice trembling as he presented the worst version of himself to you. ââover and over again that I love you?â
He leaned forward, searched for your eyes.Â
It was right in front of youâa white flag up in the air, for you to grab and hiss. You could do it now, heâd forgive you, you were certain of that. Jungkook was still kind enough to do so, his heart ready to let you back in. You wouldnât even need to say anything, just falling into his arms would suffice. Itâd be so easy. Simple, in fact. Heâd let you do it, take your silent defeat as an apology. Youâd never have to talk about it ever again. It was tempting, slip back into what you were before as if you werenât aware that he and you were two parallel lines never meant to cross. Jungkook would never be tempted to take this way out, heâd stand straight for what heâd said, repent. The thought to take the easy way out would never cross his mind. It did yours.
âY-yeah, I do.â
Jungkook shook his head, mouth set in a line.
âYou donât mean that-â
âYes, I do-â
âY/N, no, no, you-â
âStop,â you laughed, shaking your head. âStop insisting that I donât mean it. I do. I-â
It was so ironic. It felt like the entire universe was mocking you, laughing at the two of you. This was what Jungkook had wished for him and you, imagined how beautiful it would be, how youâd sit together in front of the window and watch before heâd suggest to go outside and youâd follow happily. Youâd dance and play until neither of you could feel your hands and your cheeks were rough and raw from the cold wind. Youâd yearn for the warm, shiver as you stepped inside, but youâd be happy. So very happy. But now it felt like a stab to your hearts instead.Â
The first few snowflakes softly landed on your sleeve. It was so beautiful. The entire street would be white in a few hours, kids would come out to play soon.
âIâll pay you back.â You took a step back, rubbed away the tears that wanted to spill. âSee it as compensation for⌠not meeting your parents.â
Jungkook couldnât respond, teeth sinking into his tongue, biting on the muscle until it hurt too much.Â
âThatâs not- thatâs not the point. I donât care for the money, I just-â He deflated. âJust-just meet them, Y/N. Give them a chance, please. Youâll realise- theyâre gonna love-â
He stopped when you shrunk in on yourself, vehemently shaking your head. Neither of you said anything, just allowing the snow to fall around you and cover you in white. Youâd be shivering in just a few minutes, hair and skin wet, feet shaky on the cold ground.Â
Jungkook looked down, hands in his pockets, shoulders slumped.Â
âOkay.â
You stood there as you waited for him to turn his back to you and walk away, waited and waited to be finally alone. Heâd do it and youâd be alone and youâd be proven right, vindicated. Relief would flood you, knowing you had seen it coming, had always known correctly, protected you, at least, this time of hurt and-
The keys looked cold to the touch.
âTake them. Wait in the car. Call Chae or whoever to come pick you up. You can leave the keys in the car. Iâll get them later.â
Jungkook was ordering you, telling you what to do. And though he spoke with finality, allowing no room for you to disagree, his voice trembled and shook. You didnât have to look to know the tears staining his cheeks, to know how much you had hurt him, realise that in your quest to do the best for both him and you because he deserved better and not be hurt and left in the end, you had done just that to Jungkook, plunged the knife into his heart and pushed it further even as he spat out blood.Â
âItâs fine, I can-â
You couldnât even finish your sentence before Jungkook grabbed your hand and placed the keys into your palm, forcing your fingers shut around them with his own. His touch sent sparks through your body. Itâd be the last time heâd ever touch you, you realised, and before you could stop it, the tears spilt. But you didnât let out a noise, kept your head low and eyes even lower.Â
âMerry Christmas, Y/N.â
Jungkook hesitated before letting go, his feet dragging as he walked away.
Maybe it was you holding the gun, not Jungkook.
â thanks for reading !! if you have any thoughts, id love to hear it!
#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook x reader#jungkook scenarios#jungkook fanfic#bts scenarios#bts angst#bts fluff#jungkook implied smut#bts x reader
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DCA/TSAMS ARTFIGHT ATTACKS
All my tagging is gonna be underneath cause i have COMMENTS
First the mass Lunar Attack, listen this took a WHILE and my last attack took so long... had a lot of fun with posing and putting the chaarcter where i think they made sense in interacting. lots of fluff and tails! and there woulve been more if i had more time. left to right here also u can tell what the theme was
Umbra - @ocean-lunar ive drawn them before i think but theyre so funky sillyyy
Follower Lunar- @/ms.dawn on artfight, i was trying to decipher what the au was and then looked at the other characters and went AH. he chillin' safety on the cloud!!!
Evil (purple) Lunar - @galaxysugarr I APPRECIATE THE LIMITED PALETTE SO MUCH. i love his pose still gets some cloud sir.
Lunara - @starheirxero LISTEN I SAW THE DESIGN AND I LIKE TO GATHER THE LUNARS. loving the rags dvbkjd
Callisto (Lord Lunar) - @artyheartz I DEBATED ON EITHER UR EVIL BOY OR UR GOD originally hen i saw him wanted to draw him with his eclipse but dfkd anyway he prettyyyyyy <33
Lord Night - @madcatdaderpydrawer-blog ALSO remembering drawing him in my lunar files dhvs one of the aus ive seen since before the dawn of the new age. Look at him goooo i like the sublte stars in his cloak so coolll
Killcode Corrupted Lunar - @artoutoftheblue HI THE CONCEPT INTRIGUES ME LOOK AT HIMMMM fdbvkj twas on me list the moment i saw him!
God!Lunar @starays13 UR BOY IS THE ONE I SAW AND INFLUENCED WHY EVERYONES ON CLOUDS ad why i chose a whole mass attack (i saw cloud kingdom say no more, he vibing!!!)
And the last one is my Lord Lunar. bdjkfss dont worry about him. I had fun trying to finish this. i can also send yall the individuals of ur characters if u want!
And now continuing
Sunsettia and Gala @cinnamonnala BRUH U KNOWWWW U KNOWWWW, i enjoyed drawing sunsettia a lil too much but lord the patterns fvdjvs gala moments before next nap!!
Protocol @catspawcreates WE SHAKING HANDS ON KILLCODES ON ARTFIGHT!!! A fun guy to draw once u get going!! and i like the palette could do lineless with that!! stretchy magnetics boyo smooch Lord Bloodmoon @o-i-w-u HEY YOO COOL BEANS i liked drawing this one the style of lines being light remind me of that rythm ribbon game vribbon??? Either way cool design for a lord Bloodmoon!!
Tycho, (beaned) Bloodmoon, Meteor @garbagechocolate THE BACKGROUND... i scrapped my first draft thats a recreation. BUT UR BOYOS. Tycho is such a delightful guy and METEOR i dont see them enough but <33 darling. and classic bloodmoon even tho he small rn dont worry about that. Causes problems later. Starlight @/Solar_Eclipse on artfight - I SAW THE TEAL I SAW THE SASS I SAW THE GOLD. i was hi i love them. SHINE BRIGHT SUPERSTAR!!
Luna, Ballet Lunar - @nekojaf @senota-skulls BALLET LUNARS IN MY HOUSE??? I SAW THE PRINCESS TUTU OPPORTUNITY AND THEN TOOK IT it was fun drawing!!! love them mwah <33
Polaris, Eclipse @huskyliker - I SAW POLARIS ON INSTAGRAM BEFORE AND SEEING U ON ARTIFIGTH I HAD TO. and i leanred more, shes so sillyyyy <333 girl wins
Honey @/ClipseTheBean on artfight - ONE OF MY TRADITIONAL ATTACKS. Getting the values of my greys right was a task BUT BBY DBKCSJ THEY WERE SO CUTEEEE Enzo @/JitteryBuggie on artfight - More grey tones with that POP of puprle i loved drawing her and then dreaded lining gbvsks
Angel, Angel, and Angel Lunar! - Myboyo, @melodyartiez @simpalert THE MOMENT I WAS SCROLLING AND SEEING THIS I KNEW RIGHT AWAY. Angels everywhere o m g <33 theyre so cute tho i like that Angel was christmas vibed and Angel Lunar LIL DRESS/TUNIC?? fbdkcs perfecttt
ANYWAY THATS IT FOR THE DCA ONES see this is why all my commentary is under the readmore fbvhjs
i enjoyed a lot of the process with all these. and more confidence in simple background
Hope yall enjoyed artfight!! i did for my first year!
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all works of writing/summaries are not owned by me, and all credits go to the respective writers! this list will be updated periodically with stories i have read ⥠i thought that as a writer myself who consumes talented stories on this site, it would be good for me to show you all a fraction of what i read myself tehe (i read majority poly!teez/mc so that category will be filled!!) â
â note: 90% of these fics will contain mature themes, since it's all i read! please read the specific author's notes before reading!
â¤ď¸ - personal favorites
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â â¤ď¸ mists of celeste (??/reader, several pairings) by @hongism
genre: scifi/space au, pirate au, space pirate!ateez, angst, smut, fluff
summary: sneaking aboard the ship of a renowned space pirate may not have been the best idea, but youâll have to make do with what fate has handed to you.
notes: as an atiny on tumblr.com, i feel like it's a rite of passage to read moc. it's one of the best written works i have had the privilege of reading. it's gripping, it's heartbreaking, it's filled with yearning and love, and has you hoping that the characters survive this ordeal. san i love you most you can tell by the masterlist alone that she has crafted a whole space pirate universe intricately and with the utmost care. she deals with the trauma of the characters so so well and i cant lie ive cried a lot reading it jdhdksjddj, it's the fic that made me start reading ateez ff, i mean, i started reading before even knowing ateez and i had to have a separate tab open to remember who was who. that alone can tell you how much of a work of art this is. omg, im blabbering, but please read this.
â hotel california (ot8/reader) by @mint-yooxgi
genre:Â yandere, demon!au
summary: checking in to a hotel ran by yandere!Ateez, the boys decide she can no longer leave
my notes: im not too sure how i came across this work, i think it was an endless scroll of me trying to find something to read, but nevertheless, this story. i have not finished it yet (a great and utter pity) but from what ive read so far. im actually very concerned on how much ive read of this in one night đ¨, i think the plot is so so unique, i love a strong mc who does not take any shit whatsoever, i love gaslighting demon!ateez đââď¸. i had to stare at the wall several times while reading,, felt like jim in the office truly. UGH it's just so good??? i can't recommend enough!! PLEASE READ.
â â¤ď¸ the answer (ot8?/reader, side pairings) by @berryunho
genre: cult au, thriller
summary: life is great until your best friend goes missing your senior year of university, leaving little more than an apology and goodbye. Months later, youâre determined to find out what happened to him and discover a situation much more complicated than you would have ever anticipated - as in - Kim Hongjoong doesnât like the word âcult.â He prefers 'sect.'
my notes: i first discovered this fic on ao3 and somehow found out lauren had a tumblr blog but i digress â i found this one night and was so excited that i found something so so unique and different and i am pretty sure i didn't sleep until 4am reading everything omg . it's truly so funny and i adore the main character more than anything, the snide remarks truly encompass and make you feel their emotions? cult leader hongjoong is something else... without spoiling hfjdjf. i beg lauren often for a spoiler because it's just that good. please read.
â OUTLAW (ot8/reader, side pairings) by @staytinyville
genre: wild west!au, smut(?), angst
summary: you thought you would be spending the rest of your life tending to the hotel your family ran. while you knew it was common to see bandits come and go in your town, you felt safe in your home. at least safe enough with a weapon at your disposal. however you were no match for eight men who were known to most as outlaws around the plains. hawt kind of adventures did they go on?
my notes: i started reading this a while back and have yet to finish, but so far the premise is so so so interesting and i love readying cowboy aus rjkfjkdrfkj ITS SO GOOD!!!! I CANT WAIT TO CATCH UP
â sway with me (ot8/reader, wooyoung/reader) by @luvt0kki
genre: sci-fi/space/futuristic!au
summary: former noble turned space pirate, wooyoung was now part of one of the most revered and hunted group of pirates of the galaxy. sure heâs only known them for six months but thereâs only so much you could do in a ship when you travel from one planet to the next. the ship was their home, his homeâŚand the members of this crew were friends that he felt he was fated to meet.
my notes: tokki already knows all of this but,,, i started this a month or so ago? and i read the first chapter and i legit lost my mind,,, in the calmest way possible... the first chapter is gripping and it sets a environment that i very much would love to live in??? it's just so so well written, and the reader is very much my type NDFAKKJ ANYWAY... it's told from the pov of wooyoung and i love it??? so MUCH?? please read ok bye
â one more rep (woosan x reader) by @cheollipop
genre: smut, f2l, trainers woosan
summary: san got a little too excited watching you exercise in purple â his favourite colour â and wooyoung was nothing if not a tease. turning their attention back to you, they didn't expect to see you equally worked-up.
my notes: ???? i actually read this a few times,,,, this fic yall.... i cannot... the mental image of woosan in the gym makes me delusional enoughdsjkaskfjksd PLEASE.
â like a dream (yungi x reader) by cheollipop
genre: bf!yungi, smut
summary: with only the orange hues of the lamp illuminating the room, they have you for the first time, and it feels just like a dream.
my notes: yunho and mingi are my weakness,, so the both of them together.....
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â horizon by @pxedpiper (ft. ateez/f.reader)
genre: pirate!au
summary: once a princess of a kingdom you loathed to call yours, you have somehow found yourself aboard a pirate ship, stuck on the ocean waves. now you try to figure out how to escape them, but as you continue to journey with them, you find yourself wondering if you even want to.
my notes: i just found this the other day but remembering reading it a while ago! it's so so well written and i enjoyed it sm đĽš
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â safe haven (mingi/reader) by @atxxzist
genre: bodyguard!au, fluff
summary: your father has had enough of your shit, and hires Song Mingi; his best friend's son, to be your personal bodyguard
my notes: is it possible to fall down the mingi hole deeper than i already have? maybe! this fic pretty much lives in my head,,, endlessly,,,, i love mingi. i love this au so much and i especially love bodyguard aus, i think it's one of my favorite genres and this deepens it.... PLEASE READ.
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â rough rider (wooyoung x afab!reader) by @choism
genre: smut
summary: In which you meet a hot twink at a club who has a slightly unhealthy obsession with the 2000's and y2k bimbocore.
my notes: i......... there's no way i can describe this fic... if u yearn for wooyoung the way i do. read this.
â what happened to slow down? (bf!wooyoung x reader) by @ja3hwa
genre: smut
summary: coming back from a house party, you and woo couldn't seem to keep your hands off one another. everything was happening so fast. you two didn't even make it to the bedroom.
my notes: insert a photo of someone throwing a phone and screaming crying, then picking it up to read the rest. thats me kjrfakfajkf
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#ateez fanfiction#ateez fanfic#ateez smut#ateez angst#ateez fluff#hongjoong x reader#ateez x reader#seonghwa x reader#yunho x reader#wooyoung x reader#mingi x reader#san x reader#yeosang x reader
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