#tmr part one

[bacchuschucklefuck]

we let the ocean drown out our voices/enjoying the bitterness/in the chaotic light, I close my eyes and see

[nomoreusername]

Seriously? (Part 2)

Pairing:Minho x gender neutral reader

Summary:In your sleep, you don't seem that frustrated with Minho.

Life had been a lot of stress and commanding and being commanded and planning and repetition for three years. It was no surprise basically everyone was out like a light, ready to finally sleep in an actual bed.

Even if that did involve you and Minho in the same one.

Not that it mattered of course. It was a bed all the same, and Minho didn't get to win. That's what actually matters.

Minho had tried to calm his heart, having to breathe the way he would in the Maze just to remain sane and not tire himself out. If that didn't prove he was stressed, nothing would.

Staring at the ceiling, he tried to take in how he got here. He didn't fully trust this place of course, but he wasn't anything like what he’s known. The food seemed never ending, rationing appeared to be a foreign concept, and comfort seemed underappreciated.

Holding in a sigh, he let his shoulders slump as he tried to take it all in.

Letting the exhaustion take over, you had been asleep long ago, on your respective side, not being able to think about how strange this is even if you wanted to.

Mumbling in your sleep, you rolled on your side, curling your body up to Minho's. Freezing at the contact, he held his breath as he went completely still, not knowing how to believe it yet.

You would blame him for this in the morning. Your frustration for him ran that deep. It didn't matter whether or not either of you were conscious. Not giving him what he wanted has always been one of the most important things to you.

So why not just give in if he would be blamed anyway? He knew that was his fault, but still. He may as well give in to this.

Wrapping his arm around you, he held your shoulder, his hands gently running up and down your arm. As you curled more into him, your head almost on his chest, he rubbed your back.

Shutting his eyes, he accepted two things.

This had always been his fault.

He was in love with you.

[keyh0use]

Shitpost number someone needs to tell me I can't keep track but promise I'll remember this time 😔

[robiinurheart33]

I’m SUCH a sucker for drunk calls/texts confessing their love and y’all know I gotta project it onto ghoap (buckle up guys its a long one I had to break it into two parts SORRY) pt. 2 (clicks for Palestine)

Soap’s blood is pumping. He can feel it heat up in his cheeks in the form of a blush, giggles bubbling up in his throat and his mind loose enough to just sew together a semblance of a bad idea.

Deployment had been boring at first. Stuck at home with unending nervous energy, fingers twitching and aching for the solid feel of a gun, the rough texture of his vest, the adrenaline clapping him on the shoulder before shooting through his veins like a drug. It was so unendingly dull. It’s not like he had anyone waiting for him at his apartment in Glasgow, and their break time was too short to visit his Ma.

So why not invite a few buddies out to drink? No harm, no foul.

Well, that’s what he initially thought. A couple hours later of wheezing and pounding of the table, shoes sticking to the ground and the smell of booze wafting though the air, Soap could confidently say that he was wasted. He’s leaning heavily on his buddy, chum, pal, that he for the life of him cannot remember right now. He’s swaying from side to side, feeling unusually breathless as he mumbles what could be the song that’s playing right now. He’s not sure. He combs his fingers through his hair, scratching a bit anxiously at the nape of his neck. Soap’s not sure if he wants to cry or laugh or vomit right about now. Pretty sure that’s a sign to fuck off, pass out on his bed and deal with the rest tomorrow.

Soap pushes off his… friend? Wait, did he even come with him? And heads towards the general direction where the toilet is. Might as well not look like a homeless person before heading home, wouldn’t wanna scare anyone. His head is spinning, pounding, loud, loud, loud, and nowhere near done with its madness. Soap slams his hand on the wall beside the toilet door, squinting and hoping the door he’s reaching for is the actual door, not it’s double. He does, in fact, get the right door (small miracles), and pushes it open.

He fumbles with his zipper and exhales heavily as he relieves himself. The man beside him in the toilet exits with a sniffle and stumbles out, the music getting louder for a second before the door closes again. Soap leans heavily against the sink counter and washes his hands, placing his fingers together and splashing water onto his face. Soap drags his hands down before greyish-blue eyes look back at him with a piercing stare. He blinks, and re-evaluates again. His hair is flopping to one side, weighed down by sweat. His face is flushed and his skin glows slightly with a thin sheen of sweat, his freckles just shy of being seen under his rosy cheeks, eyebags evident through the haze. He looks down and- oh. It appears his attempt at splashing his face with water wasn’t as successful as he’d hoped, half of his shirt drenched in water. Soap tugs loosely at the corner of his sleeves, releasing the bundled up fabric at his pits. He frowns in discomfort as the sticky heat of his arms lay back down against his skin. He sighs once more, not really feeling like his lungs are filling with oxygen, turning around and laying his hip against the counter lazily before pulling out his phone. 0237. He swipes down on his home screen and pouts at the “no new notifications” tab. He unlocks his phone and swipes through his contacts, unsure of who to drunk text at this hour. Gaz is probably asleep by now, if anyone has a spotless sleeping schedule, it’d be him. Price would have his head on a platter if he texted him about anything non-military business. Laswell, no. Ghost?

Huh.

Ghost…could be someone he could text. Soap isn’t quite sure if he would be awake right now. Do ghosts even need sleep? He huffs at his little comment, tapping on their chat together. Do they have the kind of relationship where soap can dramatically drunk text Ghost at 2am right now? Soap lets out a little bemused huff when he sees that he reached a dead end to their chat after one swipe of his thumb. Of course. Right bastard doesn’t text anyone. He tilts his head up to meet the flickering white light of the bathroom ceiling, watching water damage and mold streak across the concrete. Ghost… how is he during deployment? Does he still wear that mask around the relative safety of his own apartment? Does he have any hobbies? Does he go to the gym as well? Does he long to be back on base? Does he long to be back in the chaos of the war zone, alongside soap? Does he think of soap? Does he ever think to- before Soap knows what he’s even doing, his fingers clumsily type out a greeting.

Hwlli

That’s not quite right.

Gellp

Nope.

Hellu

Oh my god.

Hello

There we go! Soap smiles giddily at his screen, bringing it closer to his face before very carefully writing a much more sophisticated and brilliant follow up.

U up?

He’s the smartest person in the entire world. He supposes a part of himself preens at the thought of even just being able to text someone like Ghost. Big, bad, Ghost. He decidedly does not giggle like a schoolgirl. Just as his mind starts to wander back to the world outside the sickly bathroom, his phone vibrates, and looks down in confusion.

Drunk?

Soap frowns.

Who

You.

Wanna try anf gues, Lt?

You are drunk.

He says it like it’s a fact, like he knows everything. It annoys Soap, much more than it should. He supposes that it could maybe be something to do with the massive amounts of alcohol thrumming through his bloodstream at the moment, but he knows for a fact that it slices through his brain, presses against his throat and contracts his chest.

Yiu think so?

I know so.

Soap thinks Ghost is being a real dick right now.

Ittle know iy all

You’re drunk, Johnny. What do you want me to do about it?

Johnny. Johnny. Johnny. His head spins. If he closes his eyes and imagines hard enough, he can hear the raspy gravel of Ghost’s solid, thick British accent murmuring commanders into his ear. Speaking of noises, his brain starts to register more of the music from outside, the start of a song that Soap can vaguely remember, but he can’t quite put his finger on it right now. The electric guitar, drums and bass all purr in his subconciousness, his lips parting over the words, moving silently as he tries to pinpoint exactly where in the song he is right now. There’s this tune… think of you.. repeat, until I fall asleep, spilling drinks on my settee…do I wanna know? Soap whispers, his mind curling and his ribs creaking. He feels like he’s truly, deeply losing it now, fingers slowly loosening over his phone. His head feels too big and his cheeks are burning, his shirt too tight against his chest and arms and his toes too restricted under his shoes. Everything was funny and everything was too bright and shiny and yearning and blurring and he wishes Ghost was here and he wishes everything was different and he wishes life could just be a little bit easier and-

His phone is vibrating.

Crawling back to you.

[that-tmr-girl]

Safe Word Series {Part 1}

Descriptions of vaginal sex, safe word, fluff

I try to be soft with her, all the time. I love being soft with her, being gentle, being slow. I love touching her, kissing her, grabbing her thighs, guiding her, arching her back, tasting her, feeling her. I love her, and she needs to know that. Always. Whenever I’m inside of her there can't be a single doubt about how much she means to me.

I need her. Emotionally, mentally, physically, I need her.

I love being on top of her. I love being able to grab her hands. They're soft, like her.

I hadn't stopped. Not for a long time. For hours, I took her pussy in every way I could. Licked her, sucked her, hummed into her, buried my head inside of her, wrapped her legs around my waist, let her ride me, and everything I could.

Keeping her arms above her head, I interlocked our fingers as I looked at her, at the pretty marks on her neck, the dazed look on her eyes, the sweat on her forehead, the knots in her hair, the light purple color on her lips, all of her. I admired every part.

Pushing my chest against hers, I thrust into her only for her grip on my fingers to be tighter than usual as she let out a different kind of whimper, one that I hadn't heard before.

“No more,”She said through heavy breaths. Pulling out as quickly as I could, I let go of her hands as she panted, her chest frantically rising and falling as small tears filled her eyes.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,”I quickly apologized, wiping them from her eyes. Cupping her cheeks, I pressed my lips to her forehead while repeating my words.

“It's okay,”She whispered as I kept kissing her temple.

“I love you. You know that, right? I love you,”I whispered, keeping her forehead against mine.

“I do, okay? And I love you too. I love you.”

“I didn't mean to hurt you. I would never try to hurt you,”I promised.

“I know, Aris. You're soft. You're loving. You're gentle,”She sighed, playing with my hair. “You're gentle, but you last longer than I think anyone could. You can't make love to me for half the night and think I won't get sore.”

“I’m sorry. You just feel so good, and you sound really pretty, and taste so sweet, and have such a nice cumming face. You're just so good, and I’m sorry,”I repeated.

“You're okay. It's all okay, my lovely,”She coaxed, kissing my cheek. “Why don't you dress me? I know how much you love doing that,”She teased.

“I do,”I nodded, slowly raising her legs to pull the towel out from under her. Grabbing her underwear, I cautiously tried to pull them up her legs, apologizing when she winced a few times. After adjusting them around her hips, I put her in one of my hoodies before dressing myself. Laying beside her, I just looked at her as she closed her eyes.

“You can hold me. I like it when you do that, and you do too,”She reassured me. Turning her to completely face me, I wrapped my arms around her before kissing the tip of her nose.

“I’m sor-”

“Shush. I know I’m always safe with you. I know that you love me,”She whispered, wearing a small smile before cuddling up to my chest and curling her knees to hers. Gently grabbing her outer thigh, I ran my hands over her skin while keeping her as close as possible. Whispering sweet nothings in her ear, I listened to her breathing even out as her grip around my just barely loosened. Still rubbing her leg, I kissed her temple before trying to go to sleep with her.

[synthshenanigans]

Something about how Heart is being compared to mythology, Minds referencing the bible & Soul being the one to use both of those things

[averlym]

ghostwriter (their grandma would tell them she'd lose half her soul)

[subjecta5newtella]

some nalby for @mazerunner-rarepairs month - AU square

It’s late evening after a light post-season practice, and Alby and Newt are headed for the dining hall when Minho catches up with them. 

“Alby!” he calls, jogging over and blocking their exit from the soccer fields. 

Alby sighs. “What?”

“Three of the freshmen challenged Thomas and I to a scrimmage, and everyone else has already left.”

“I’ve already cooled down, I’m not going to start running again.”

“Aw, come on. Thomas and I could beat them two-on-three, but that’ll damage their morale.”

“Call someone else back, then. I’m done for the day.”

Technically, he’s done in general. He’s a graduating senior who doesn’t have to come to practice at all anymore, but as the outgoing captain, he still feels a sense of responsibility. And maybe he’s not quite ready to let go, but that’s another thing entirely. Still, he draws the line at getting all sweaty again because of Minho’s pride or whatever. 

In a stunning display of self-restraint, Minho concedes that battle, then turns. “Hey, Newt?”

“What?”

“If we all promise to go easy on you, do you wanna join?”

Alby catches the exact moment when something sparks to life in Newt’s eyes.

It’s probably a bad idea. Newt can run on his bad leg, but only short distances, and his ankle and hip both have a tendency to hurt the next day. The shift in his balance makes dribbling more challenging than it used to be—he can do it, but it’s not the simple thing it once was. Newt knows all that intimately, of course, but Alby also knows he misses soccer like nothing else, had spent an evening on the bathroom floor in tears between bouts of throwing up vodka on the anniversary of the day he’d been told he’d never play competitively again. He’s a student coach now, and a damn good one in Alby’s (admittedly biased) opinion, but that’s far from the same. 

“You’ll go easy on me, eh?” Newt says, with a smile that looks a little dangerous.

“Well, you know, it’s been a while, we don’t want you to overexert yourself.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to convince me to play against you.”

“Aw, come on. The freshmen are getting way too cocky.”

“Fine. But if you mention anything about going easy on me again, I’m betraying you and joining them.”

He hands his backpack over to Alby, who can’t help but say, “Be careful.”

Newt rolls his eyes. “I’ll be fine.” He jogs out onto the field, managing his limp with relative smoothness.

Thomas does a little bit of a double take when he sees Newt joining them, but he drops back to take up a position on his right. He’d played right midfielder when he’d transferred to their school, before Newt had moved him to the left to cover a skill gap, and that combination of Thomas and Minho on their left flank had scored them the game winning goal in conference championships. 

It’s not just Alby’s biased opinion, really. Newt’s a good coach. He’s already gotten an offer to stay on next year as a paid position, and he’s probably going to take it, which means Alby needs to find a job here, even though neither of them have actually talked about that out loud. It’s the two of them. It’ll always be the two of them. 

A couple minutes into the scrimmage, Newt strips the ball from George and sends it up to Minho to do the rest of the running, and in that fast, fluid movement, Alby remembers the way he used to be. Starting lineup, number five, center forward. Quick. Vicious. Glorious. Other teams complained about facing him, and every time they did, Alby felt a stab of pride. People watched him, people admired him, but there were times when Newt would pull off something impossible and look back with a smile that was sharp and wild and beautiful and Alby had known it was for him.

Alby loves this version of Newt without question and he knows he will for the rest of his life, but sometimes it’s hard not to mourn the way things were supposed to be. It’s selfish, maybe. His life is not the one most affected. Knowing it’s selfish doesn’t stop him from feeling it sometimes, 

Newt’s alive, though, which is something Alby doesn’t take for granted, and in the present moment he’s celebrating Minho’s goal. It’s a little tasteless, maybe, but it’s also their first time playing together since sophomore year and they’ve already scored, so they might be entitled.

The game continues and Alby loses himself in it, watching the way Newt and Minho click back into being a solid offensive unit, how Thomas works well with the two of them even in a position that he hasn’t played in a while. It’s easy to forget that he and Newt have never actually played together. They’re a good team. They could’ve been a great one, but that’s the kind of unproductive reasoning Alby tries to shut down whenever Newt gets caught up in it, so he does his best to close it off within himself as well. 

After about ten minutes, Newt slows, then stops, mimes bowing out. He joins Alby on the sidelines as the others keep messing around, retying his hair as he does. “Can’t keep up with the youth anymore.”

“Hurt?”

“Nah. Just old. No stamina anymore.”

Alby’s not sure he believes that, because Newt’s barely even breathing hard, but Alby lets it go because he also doesn’t look like he’s in pain, either. He’ll take an excuse over a breaking point any day.

“You looked good out there,” Alby says, handing Newt’s backpack back to him. 

Newt gives him a sarcastic little salute. “Thanks, Captain. I was awaiting your approval.”

“Shut up.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Newt says, then after a moment adds, “Thanks.”

Things will never be what they used to be. It’s a waste of time to pretend otherwise. But he has Newt, and Newt has him, and they’ll get through together. They always do. 

Alby laces his fingers through Newt’s, and they head off for dinner. 

[star--anon]

Minho gets angry when he gets scared

Newt and Alby tried to ease him out of that for years, but living every waking moment in the Maze, that instinctual conversion from terror to fury kept him alive. Kept him moving.

In the Safe Haven, though. With no Grievers or closing Doors? Minho's biggest fear becomes Thomas.

...he could lose him so easily...

Thomas can't seem to convince him that he isn't in the Maze anymore.

[newtedison]

the gladers + snapchat halloween 2

[toby-du-coeur]

minally and sonyariset war au: rarepair bingo 2024

@mazerunner-rarepairs

Rating: Explicit

Minho comes and stands beside him · smoke-smelling · "You good?" he asks, tight Gally already told him he was good, by the fire · Minho shouldn’t be here Gally realises he’s on his feet, arms around Minho, face buried in his shoulder · Minho’s pressing his head into Gally like a cat · They’re both shuddering hard "Fuck off, Min," Gally grits out · holding onto him tighter "What, no gratitude for the shank who saved your life?" The quip lands completely hollow, with a hysteric edge like he’s gonna burst into laughter or tears Gally says, very even, "A thousand thanks" · Minho’s warmth is seeping into him, and his breaths hurt his chest · "I’m fine" · If he doesn’t immerse himself back in the cold night and the silence, he’s gonna fucking snap "And I’m a shuck Griever" · Minho reaches up and cups the back of Gally’s neck, the taped-on gauze, real gentle

[ctl-yuejie]

6/8 done. lets hope it is enough to pass *fingers crossed*

[nomoreusername]

Blind Jealousy (Part 1)

Pairing:Newt x female reader

Summary:When Newt confronts you about Greenie always clinging to you, you tell him the truth of being the only girl.

I don't get it. I don't understand. She says that she loves me. She says that I’m her only. She says that I mean everything to her. She says that I’m her world.

Then, why won't she just say something? Why wouldn't she speak up when Greenie gets touchy? When he just holds her waist every time he walks past her? When he always brushes his hand over hers? When he touches her shoulder? When he stands so close to her? Why won't she just say something?

I stood there with my arms crossed and a scowl on my face. She was just nodding as Greenie spoke. When he did his usual thing of resting his arm on her shoulder she just laughed it off as she removed it.

If she wants to be with Greenie, fine. She can be with him. If she wants to be so bloody close to him, whatever. It's been quite obvious this past week she doesn't actually care about us. If she did, she would say something. She wouldn't just say thanks when I said something.

Shaking my head, I grumbled under my breath as I stormed off. Glaring at the air, I just walked to my hut, opened the door, and slammed it shut. This is ridiculous. All of this is ridiculous.

Pacing around the circular room, I ran my hands through my hair as I tried to take deep breaths. Every time I close my eyes though, all I see is them. They're all buddy buddy and happy. They're all nice and cuddled up while I sit on the sidelines of my own relationship.

Letting out a frustrated groan, I leaned against the wall while just trying to wrap my head around it. The room’s just so stuffy and everything about right now sucks. Everyone and everything absolutely sucks.

Deciding to just take a walk, I opened my door to go somewhere. Anywhere. I don't know.

“There you are,”a familiar voice greeted. Face to face with Y/N, I just wondered where she got the audacity to show up like she did nothing wrong.

“What do you want?”I asked quickly.

“To see you. It's been a while since we’ve actually talked. I swear it's been forever,”She shrugged, a small smile on her face as she shuffled her feet.

“Gee. I wonder why,”I grumbled.

“What?”

“Don't play dumb. You know what.”

“Newt, what did I do?”

“Are we really doing this?”I asked in disbelief.

“Just tell me what I did wrong,”She kept going, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion and a frown now on her lips. Tired of the games, I shut the door in her face. “Newt, what did I do?”She asked louder, banging on the door. Ignoring her, I sat in my hammock, my feet on the floor as I rocked back and forth. “Newt, please? Can we talk about this?”

“Go away,”I demanded.

“Newt, please?”

Not answering, I kept my cold stare at absolutely nothing.

“Fine. I’m coming in,”She announced.

“Don't you da-”

Before I could finish my sentence she opened my door. Stepping inside, she shut it behind her. Throwing my glare towards her now, I didn't let her know how much it hurt.

“Whatever I did, we can talk about it. We always talk things through. That's part of why we're so great together,”She smiled.

“I’m sure you’d look better with Greenie,”I spat. At my words her face became devoid of color as she slowly shook her head. “Yes. You would. He’s been all over you, and you let it happen,”I reminded her, standing up. Dropping her head, she avoided my eyes and mumbled something.

“What?”I snapped.

“It's not like that,”She insisted.

“Well, it sure looks like it. Laughing when he touches you. You’d probably be with him if I wasn't here to hold you back.”

“No. I don't want anyone but you,”She tried to convince me.

“Yeah right. With the way you act happy when he hangs all over you, you sure don't seem to want me.”

“I-I do. I reject him every time. I only want to be with you.”

“Then, how about you act like it?”

“That's not fair,”She whispered.

“What's not fair is you being alright with him putting his hands all over you when you say you love me.”

“Don’t you dare talk about me like that. I have been nothing but loyal to you,”She snapped, facing me. With narrowed and fiery eyes, the anger was practically radiating off of every inch of her skin.

“Just because you’ve turned him down, doesn't mean you don't want his attention.”

“I don't! I don't want anyone’s stupid attention!”She screamed.

“Then, act like it! If you really don't like him, show it!”I yelled back.

“You're not being fair! I have done nothing but love you! I just can't be rude!”

“If you cared about me, being rude so he would leave you alone wouldn't be a big deal!”

“Don't you ever say I don't care about you! Ever!”She demanded, her eyes brimming with tears.

“Then, act like you do!”I shouted, feeling my own sting my eyes.

“That's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair!”She screamed, tears pouring down her cheeks. “It's not fair! It's easy for you because you're a guy! But it’s not easy for me! It never was, and you don't even care!”

“Y/N-”

“All you can think about is yourself! That's all you care about! You don't care about me! You don't even notice!”She screamed, her voice scratchy. Before I could get a word in she dropped to her knees. Burying her head in her hands, she sobbed. Her entire body was shaking as tears spilled down her face. Taking shallow gulps of air, she broke down.

“It’s okay, love. I’m here. I'm right here,”I promised, sitting beside her. Pulling her into my arms, I held her as she buried her face in my neck. Clinging to me, she dug her nails into my back as she kept crying. “It's okay. I’m right here. I’m here, and I love you. No matter what, I will always adore you. I’ll always, always, always love you.”

“It's not fair. It's not fair, Newt,”She said through hiccuped sobs.

“What's not fair, love?”I whispered, rubbing circles on her shoulders to calm her down.

“It's not fair that I’m the only girl. It's not fair when there are Greenies that only care that I’m dating a guy instead of what I feel. It's not fair when I have to watch what I say in case they're the type to get angry when they hear no. That isn't fair,”She whimpered, her voice shaking. Losing my ability to speak, I froze as I took in her words. All this time, she just wanted to be left alone. She just wanted to feel safe. She just wanted to be free in her own home. She was suffering in silence, and I didn't even notice. I just thought the worst of her. I didn't stop to think about what she was actually going through.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so, so, so sorry,”I promised. Letting out hiccuped sobs, she didn't say anything back. “I’m sorry, and I do love you. I know I didn't act like it, but I do. I love you, and I’m sorry I didn't look out for you the way I should have.”

“I’m so tired, Newt. I’m so drained,”She whispered. Picking her up, I pulled her close to my body. Wrapping her arms around my shoulders, she buried her head in my chest as I laid with her in my hammock. Running my fingers down her spine, I kissed her forehead as she wrapped her arms around my waist. Resting her head under my chin, she just let her breathing gradually even out as she wore herself out.

“I love you too,”She mumbled against my skin.

“I know, and I’ll love you forever,”I smiled. “And don't worry about Greenie. I’ll take care of it,”I promised.

“What are you going to do?”

“Doesn't matter. All that's important is that he won't even look your way after tomorrow,”I absolutely swore. Nodding her head, she fell asleep in my arms.

In the meantime, I silently put my plan together.

[cuz-reasons]

Rattling the bars of my cage once again with my indecisiveness

[deus-ex-mona]

s. s ave me, meoto…

[that-tmr-girl]

The Rules {Part 1}

Despite being broken up you and Aris are still more than comfortable with each other.

Oral

I already know what everyone would say if they knew about us. How it's a bad idea and we'll get hurt. How it would only end in feelings and disaster. How we'll both just be worse off than before. How history will only repeat itself.

But what's the alternative? I can't just go around taking every girl's virginity, and there aren’t exactly any other guys coming anytime soon. Besides, even if there was, they wouldn't know her the way I do. They wouldn't know the right way to touch her, where to be soft, how fast to go, and all the things she adores but won't ask for. And nobody else could be her. Nobody could make her sounds, taste like her, feel like her, look like her. Nobody could ever be her.

And now, nobody needs to be.

Brushing her hair out of her face, I whispered in her ear, listening to her laugh as I pulled away. Holding back a smile, I put my fingers to my lips as she gave me a nod, her lips still upturned in her pretty grin.

Taking in her features for a moment, I averted my gaze when I felt it become too much. Kissing down her stomach, I made sure not to look her in the eye as I trailed my lips against her soft skin before coming to her pants. Pulling everything off, I looked up at her for permission which she granted.

Accepting her answer, I licked up a teasing stripe up her middle. Giving me a whine, she clutched the sheets as I slowly pleasured her with my mouth. Not that it matters. She'd be pulling my hair soon enough.

Pressing a kiss to her clit, I gripped her thighs as I started plunging my tongue in and out. Arching her back, she let out small whimpers as I increased my pace just enough. Sure enough, her hands made my way to my head as she started tangling her hands in my hair. Moaning inside of her, I heard her grow just a little louder as she repeated my name through ragged breaths. Pretending that didn't kill me, I tuned out her sounds as I felt the way her legs started shaking. With her grip on my hair tightening, I kept her legs spread as she pushed her hips further into my mouth one last time before letting go. Keeping my mouth open, I got everything I could from her, savoring her white liquids on my tongue before swallowing them. Pulling away, I traced my tongue on her inner thighs just to be safe, feeling her cum warm my throat. Licking my lips, I got the rest of her before opening my eyes to see her out of breath with a dazed smile. Resisting the urge to call her my sweet girl, my beautiful girl, my love, my princess, I didn't say anything as I caressed her cheek.

“Need you, Aris,”She said through heavy breaths. And I need her too. Just not only in that way.

Pushing the thought down, I straddled her and aligned myself with her entrance before asking if she was ready. When she said yes, I slowly pushed into her. Hearing her moan my name, I closed my eyes to stop the tears as I tried to savor being inside of her. Holding her waist, I fit myself all the way in before holding still so that she could adjust. Holding back grunts, I didn't think anything of the way I kept my hands on her. Not until I felt her start to shake a little too much. I looked at her only to see little tears in her eyes. Pulling out and leaning over her, I was quick to wipe them and ask what happened.

“You’ve never held on that tight,”She managed to say through ragged breaths. Looking down, I saw the dark handprints, soon to be bruises I left on her, and she was never good with pain. Her tolerance was admittedly low so what could be so minor to some hurt so badly to her.

“I’m so sorry. I’m really, really sorry,”I promised, praying that she knew that I always only wanted to be gentle with her. With her body, with her mind, and with her heart. Hoping that she knew I didn't do it on purpose and never would. Silently pleading to myself that this wouldn't be our last night like this.

Being light, I ran my fingers over the bruises to try and soothe her. All the while, repeating my apology.

Feeling the way she seemed less tense, I pressed my lips to every single print before gazing up at her. While her tears had stopped falling, she just looked out of it. With a quiet yawn, I got my answer as to why. She was tired. Really tired.

“Is there anything you need from me?”I asked, still tracing my fingers on the bruises.

“Stay?”She whispered.

“Of course. I always-”

“No. Next to me. Stay next to me,”She clarified.

The rules. This was definitely against the rules.

But I don't care. I had missed her. Really, really missed her, and even if I didn't mean to, I had just hurt her. The rules can fuck off for one night.

Like I used to, I slipped her underwear back on, being extra cautious this time, before putting her in one of my hoodies. Only bothering with my boxers, I put the blanket over her before pulling her close. She seemed to lean into my touch as I pressed a kiss to her neck. Wrapping my arms around her, she intertwined our legs as she held me back.

This was breaking the rules. So many of them.

But I couldn't care less. Whether I said it or not, it was true. I had never fallen out of love with her.