#tmi as hell i know

[tetsuooooooooooo]

>be me

>hate washing my face bc soap in eyes scary water dripping on clothes gross everything is awful hatred kill bite bite kill bite

>walk around with greasy face, not a problem

>but problem

>sit at lecture get so fucking bored n restless

>alternate between using phone and picking at greasy face

>greasy face make greasy fingers

>unable to touch phone screen with greasy fingers because greasy screen=unbearable sensory nightmare, dishonour

>attempt to clean fingers with no resources available, fail

>get so so pissed from lack of stimulation during 4 hours of lecture idgf about while attempting to prevent hemorrhoids by furiously experimenting with new sitting positions

>become insane

is this a relatable part of the human condition or do i have to get diagnosed with something

[kitty-gray]

It says a lot about the TSC fandom that the second we hear Cassie say "it would be a spoiler" we immediately think someone will die.

[witchlingcirce]

ANYYY shadowhunter who has black hair, some herondale descendant, and is flirty af will ALWAYS be in my top 5 no takers

[aleclightofmylifewoodbane]

i want to see alec get dilfier.

hes 23 in tda so hes gonna be around 26 in twp.

i need to see him get dilfier. ideally in his late 30s and 40s but i dont think cassandra will give us that. i need to see that man get dilfier

[notonlyshortbutshorttemperedtoo]

It will never not be funny to me that as a 12yo shy girl I took Jace Herondale and unconsciouslly decided to base my personality on him.

[cece-seesaw]

I'm having a good time, a great time. My mind is clear and my crops are watered <3. (My legs are crossed and I am squeezing my thighs together)

[bilestat]

[mokeonn]

One of my favorite things about being in my early 20s is that I'm starting to understand that I can use things not for their intended purpose. When you're growing up, you get told what an object is and what its intended purpose is, and as a kid/teen, I just accepted all of it at face value. As a young adult it's finally clicking that I can simply do things a different way if it makes me happier. Sure, I was taught that you stand to take a shower, but there's nothing stopping me from just sitting if I don't feel like it, ya know? I might have always had my medication in the kitchen, but if I'm no longer remembering to take it, I can just move it somewhere where I can remember. You don't have to specifically store all food in the kitchen, you can have a little snack cart or snack station in another room.

The downside to finding out the various ways you can use objects is that you develop habits that would probably go on an r/relationships post where everyone says you're a little freak.

[thatwasntverycashmoneyofme]

{ 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 — 𝖻𝗅𝖺𝖼𝗄 𝖼𝗈𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝖿𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋, 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍, 𝗌𝗎𝖻!𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗁𝗎𝗋, 𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗐𝗃𝗈𝖻, 𝖿𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖽𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝗍𝗋𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗆𝖾 𝗂𝗍’𝗌 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗍𝗁 𝗂𝗍, 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗆𝗎𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇, 𝖽𝗂𝗋𝗍𝗒 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄, 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖺 𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗀𝖺𝗍𝗈𝗋!𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗁𝗎𝗋, 𝗁𝖾 𝖺 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝖾𝗋 𝖼𝗎𝗓 𝗁𝖾 𝖺 𝗐𝖾𝗂𝗋𝖽𝗈. }

you take pride in showing off your little weirdo boyfriend, like a elementary schooler with a sticker notebook, and he loves it, loves being with you, loves that you don’t feel ashamed of being with him, but… he also hates the attention he gets because of it; girls coming up to him only after you posted up with him, tryna get him to cheat.

but he’s loyal and a snitch when it comes to shit like that so he tells you about it and the next thing he knows is those girls are looking like they were being put through the ringer by a 364 pound Samoan, and you calling him on facetime whining that you chipped two nails and asking him for money to get them redone. which he gives you ofc, you just made his dick hard by fighting for him! and don’t let one of y’all shippers send him a video of you fighting those girls consecutively, he’d probably bust a nut watching your angry face the whole time you molly whopping them homewreckers.

he’d open the door to his apartment, off campus, letting you in when you knock on the door to find his favorite signature colors on your nails in his face. he’ll smile dopily when you ask him if he wanted a ‘special something’ nodding his head, blond pony bouncing with his movements, because whenever you said that you would always snatch his soul. he who sat on the couch in his lounging area, hips raised and back arched slightly with his head thrown back, biting on the back of his knuckle as you’re sat in front of him kneeling on a pillow giving him that galaxy-throat goat-vacuum suction-double hand twist combo-deluxe 3000.

you pull off of him, half of your face shiny and full of spit bubbles and cum as you continue to stroke him. “c’mon baby lemme hear your pretty voice, tell me everything i wanna hear or i swear i’ll stop.” as soon as you said that his hand flew from his mouth, moaning as he looked down at your smiling face, satisfied after seeing his teary blue eyes, with hearing his voice before you pounced on him again, nothing could hold back those beautiful moans now.

“h-holyyy fuuuck hmm love it wh-when you fight f’r me.” “I would never e-even look those girls’ wayyy ahhh y/n fuck!” he whimper tears falling from his eyes. “hahhh yer the only auhh one f’r me f’r my cock.” “mmmm-my cock wouldn’t get hahh hhah-hard f’r an’er w’ma.” his words slur as he gets closer to his climax and you make it no better when putting all the suction pressure on his blushing red tip.

one hand going to fondle his balls and the other squeezing his shaft tighter as you continued to stroke him, he throws his head back, not even mind in the dull throbbing. his eyes stuck to the back of his head letting out a loud high pitched whine that his neighbors will no doubt complain about. his pale hips rose off the couch even more as he could literally feel you sucking the cum out of him, straight up out of his cock.

you swallow every drop of cum that landed on your tongue, his body trembling as he drops back onto the couch, spurts of his kids still landing on your pink muscle as your tongue continues to caress his overly sensitive tip. he pulled you off his cock by your braids, whimpering as he does so. “hahmmm s-shiiit!” he held his dick protectively, plopping his full body on the couch facing you as he laid still, face flushed and hazy ocean eyes, his hair ruffled up as he shivers and twitches, taking this chance to look at your seductive face gazing back at him with low eyes.

he mewls at the pain and overstimulation of his dick getting hard again as you speak, giggling. “want me to suck you off again?” he curls into himself looking at you flabbergasted. “stay back you devil woman!” you laugh at his dramatics as you see his junior pop up to look at you. “but… you’re already raring to go cowboy.” you teasingly crawl closer to him and he lets out a yelp, backing further into the couch covering his junk properly.

“back! back i say!” he smiles at your laughter, watching your brown eyes crinkle with tears in your waterlines. you still look so beautiful even after taking half his life force, he can’t help but think to himself… he definitely loves being yours.

𝗌𝗉𝖺𝗆 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾𝗌, 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌. 𝖣𝖮𝖭𝖳 𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖺𝗅, 𝖼𝗈𝗉𝗒 𝗈𝗋 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖾𝗅𝗌𝖾. ©𝖼𝗂𝗍𝗒𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝖺𝗅

[bucketfullofstrawberries]

Me voice: HUZZAH! I FINALLY got everything out of the way in my current schedule and every bad thing that ever did happen has passed for the time being.. I can FINALLY focus on getting my shit done and being a productive member of society!!!

The monthly tragedy of having a biologically female body:

[smalltimidbean]

The urge to make a huge venty post to emotionally vomit

Like it might make me feel better, but who wants to see that, that's gross

[michaelmac6072]

Mystia's Izakaya, using a gaggle of notoriously unpopular and unfeatured Touhou characters stuffed into the plot of a cooking game DLC, was able to handle a story with Mizuchi Miyadeguchi more successfully than the official manga starring her and featuring all the most popular characters from all the most popular games...

[supernova-star]

anonymous opinion of you. you are sigma and very skibidi

alright which middle schooler i taught found my tumblr

[americanedpsycho]

ik i said i'd write tonight. but i will definitely do something tomorrow. <3 feel free to bug me on discord for plots!

[elenadoeslife]

🤒

[lucifer-kane]

I think the worst thing about the human body is tonsil stones