#titan coming out of the sea
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From our Oregon trip this past weekend. Love the beach, it was the perfect cold foggy weather.
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I just explained this to someone and I thought I'd make a post for it on here too.
Shrouds in Percy Jackson are like this right?
But their siblings decorate and make them out of silks with decorative embellishments on them?
The empty ones are burned after a quest to symbolise that the person they were made for came back from a quest ALIVE.
The lack of cemetery at chb shows that when they burn Silena, Charlie, Luke, Lee, Castor, everyone's shrouds, they have their bodies in them. They're being cremated.
#which is horrible to think cus while you're on a quest your sibs are preparing for your possible death. which ig is a coping mechanism?#`i know your worring about your sibs possible death why dont you make them a burial shroud! if they come back alive we burn it with them!`#`what if they don't come back alive?`#`....ummm well still burn it`#castor and pollux#lee fletcher#michael yew#charlie beckendorf#silena beauregard#luke castellan#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#pjo hoo toa#now some might get taken home idk rick never says. it is a kids book he can't out right say it ig#rick riordan#now i dokt think decorating burial shrouds is a an mythology thing or greek thing i think its a 'shit we have to destract these kids from#thinking about the possibility of their siblings death! uhhhhh...... decorate a cloth with us? two birds one stone?'#thing. which is depressing but fair it gives them something else to work on instead of worrying#camp half blood#chb#dont quote me on ancient burial rights but cus idk#the last olympian#the lightning thief#the sea of monsters#the titans curse#the battle of the labyrinth
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#in regards to the oceangate drama#i never like laughing at anyones death so to speak and i cant imagine how that poor lad who is only 19 must have been feeling trapped on t#submarine with his dad and other strangers#in such a tight space with no way of getting out from the inside way deep under the sea#wouldn't wish it on anybody#but i do blame the billionaires who knew the risk they were taking with such a sketchy company#watched a documentary where another rich lady said how she been in the same sub and how it had been very touch and go#and that at the beginning of each trip there is a small print sign saying people need to know the risk of never coming back#so part of its on them and on the company for not having the proper equipment and checks#however im also in the believe that the titanic is a GRAVEYARD and it should be well left alone and not a tourist site#its why i dont like these celebrity graveyards in america and there is on in london#i just dont get it#it never appealed to me#even ordinary folks would just go to a famous dead persons grave and take pictures of it#i think the dead should be left alone#also this submarine was UNCERTIFIED
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The thing that gets to me the most about OceanGate (and there’s many), but... the fact that it’s the fucking Titanic. Like, this could’ve been just a generic failure. This could’ve been about allowing people with more money than sense to go explore the sea floor, see coral reefs from a new perspective, view icebergs from below, whatever.
But no. It’s specifically the Titanic. The ship declared to be unsinkable. The ship whose builders refused to bring enough lifeboats, because it would compromise their aesthetics, and make their rich customers uncomfortable to see them. Which famously sank on its maiden voyage.
And here comes the OceanGate CEO and without a hint of irony, has gone on record saying shit like this:
You know, there’s a limit. You know, at some point, safety just is pure waste. I mean, if you just want to be safe, don’t get out of bed. Don’t get in your car. Don’t do anything. At some point, you’re going to take some risk, and it really is a risk/reward question. I think I can do this just as safely by breaking the rules
And just... if you were writing a story to explore the hubris of rich people, how much more on the nose than that could you get?
#oceangate#sorry to be spamming about this#but it seriously gets to me#titanic#hubris#fuck billionaires
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we mourned the sea ˚⁎⁺ chapter 1
> Crossposted on AO3
Levi hasn't seen you in a year, and he wonders how you will find him. Changed, perhaps. Lost, definitely. Or: After the war, you and Levi learn to live in this new world.
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 - Levi Ackerman / Female Reader (Attack on Titan)
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 - Rated Explicit (18+). Post-Canon, Post-War, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic, Fluff, Angst, Slow Burn, Explicit Content, Mutual Pining, Grumpy/Sunshine, Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, Grief/Mourning, Chronic Pain, Panic Attack, Depression, Ambulatory Wheelchair Use, Switch Levi (WC: 6.7k)
( Next chapter / WMTS' Masterlist )
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The first time you see Levi, whispered-about-thug and recently-enlisted Scout, you think he doesn’t seem as scary as everyone paints him to be. Sure, he has a hell of a glare, but that’s not the thing that sticks out.
No, what is most striking is the loneliness.
How alone he looks, shadows like bruises under his eyes.
.
.
.
Levi is lost.
He’s not lost in the physical sense, of course.
Levi very well knows where he is. He has repeated these words to doctors so many times he’s starting to sound like a broken record: My name is Levi Ackerman. I come from Paradis Island. I live in Marley.
No, Levi isn't lost physically.
Rather, Levi is lost in the ways often described in novels. Those cheap-thrill books Erwin liked to read so much, the kind that ensured suspense and chest-clutching moments. Usually, it involved a character going on a journey and finding the thing they lost.
“It’s all a metaphor, you see?” Erwin once pointed out.
But Levi did not see the point of metaphors back then, and he certainly doesn’t get it now.
Levi was a soldier for most of his life: so that he could aid the fight against titans, so that Erwin’s vision to help humanity could come true, so that Hange would not be alone in shouldering the weight of it all, so that the world would not crumble under Eren’s actions.
Now, three years after the Battle of Heaven and Earth, his body is changed, and his mind… well, that's the thing that’s lost, isn’t it? He’s still sane, he knows that, but… there's ways he feels himself slipping.
The first two years after the Rumbling were by far the hardest. There was so much to rebuild, so much to do. Levi spent most of his time in makeshift hospitals and infirmary tents. Then, there were the refugee camps. People who had lost everything, who were in search of a new home, but who lacked the means to do so (Levi never thought he’d have to witness the sight of starving children all over again).
And then, one day, a new start.
Onyankopon was the one who discovered Mare a year ago. He told Levi that it would be the perfect place to retire from his soldiering days. "Mare," Onyankopon said, "is the town where sky meets the sea."
Levi isn’t sure what to make of that idiom: there’s no such thing as a place where sky and sea connect. Another metaphor, perhaps—another thing that flies right above his head.
But he decided to take Onyankopon's proposal there and then; Levi had been idle for far too long, and there was still fire in him, a will to push on.
To keep going, just as he had in the past.
A month later, Levi moved into his new home.
His one-story cottage is located by the edge of town, overlooking a cliff that descends into sandy shores. It is far enough from the crowds, just the way Levi likes it, while still remaining close to all necessities—just ten minutes away from Onyankopon's home.
Aside from that, everything else is just… strangely ordinary.
Because Levi now has a roof over his head. He has a garden, where he grows herbs. A patio, where he watches sunsets. He gets money from Marley for his so-called war accomplishments (accomplishments is a strange word for murder, he thinks). He sees doctors, all kind of doctors—specialists that didn't exist back on Paradis.
What keeps him going through it all are his routines. Levi has always been a creature of habit, and that much hasn't changed in his new life.
There’s tea, for one. Despite all the special blends available here in Marley, Levi still prefers the tea he drank back in the Underground, made from cheap black tea leaves—over-extracted, with no added sugar. Piss water, Kenny used to call it, and maybe the old geezer had a point. The tea is bitter to its core, much too strong for anyone to stomach (“I’m going to be on the shitter for days after this,” Hange once declared after trying it.). And yet, Levi likes it this way.
There’s his knife, the one Kenny gave him decades ago. Levi still keeps it in his boot or tucked under his pillow. He doesn’t hold it out of sentimentality per say; Levi just doesn’t see the point of throwing it away.
Levi sees his doctor on a weekly-basis, and works part-time at the local carpentry shop. He tries to improve his body on a daily basis, even if his mind fights him hard against it. His leg hurts most days; it’s at its worst when it rains. Over the last year, he’s regained some of his mobility, enough that he can sometimes walk using a cane when his legs aren't too stiff, though most days, he uses a wheelchair. It frustrates him, sometimes, his reduced range of mobility—he misses pushing his body to the limit—but the physiotherapist ensures him that he is just where he needs to be. He feels coddled, and that annoys him.
Then, there are the people in his life. Scarce as they are, they are all that is left of his past and Levi clings onto scraps of conversation where he can find them.
Most of the brats of the 104th are living their own lives. Levi is relieved to see that. When the war ended, he worried that they would linger too much, but they never did. They moved on.
Falco and Gabi, rowdy kids they are, travel from Liberio to see him. They tell him about what they’ve been up to, how Falco is taking flying lessons, how Gabi is part of a youth association that’s going to make Marley a better place, and Levi listens. For Gabi and Flaco love to talk, and perhaps even more than that, they love to bicker. Levi thinks if there’s such a thing as religion, that these gods clearly have a strange sense of humor—making him watch teenagers and their clumsy flirting attempts all over again. But they’re good kids, and Levi looks past their worse transgressions because he knows he’s got a soft spot for them.
Onyankopon is another familiar face—a talkative one at that. Every time the man stops by Levi's house, he brings something new to show Levi. Sometimes, it feels like Onyankopon's on a personal mission to get Levi up to speed with the new world. Coffee, typewriters, vinyl players… there doesn’t seem to be a thing Onyankopon doesn’t want to show him.
All these machines are met with a somewhat lukewarm reception on Levi’s part.
All except one.
Because if there's one invention Levi is inclined to think is useful, even if a part of him equally loathes it, it's the telephone. Onyankopon was ecstatic about it, and his enthusiasm eventually rubbed off on him too. It's not that Levi likes to use it—the sound waves, the grated voices… they remind him of the sound of planes and machines, of war and guns, and that gets his heart palpating to the point where he sweats (because Levi’s learned that with his growing age, his body sweats faster than ever before, so much so that Levi sometimes has to wash twice a day).
But the first time Levi hears a familiar sound—your voice—on the receiving end of the telephone, his breath stops. His clammy fingers tighten around the phone, and he glances at Onyankopon, who only gives him a thumbs up in response, two dimples appearing on his lifted cheeks.
Levi decides then that the telephone might not be so bad after all.
“Levi,” your distorted voice sounds from the other side. “Can you hear me?”
At first, Levi doesn’t know what to say. He’s seen phones, of course; he remembers Hange using them to communicate with Zeke and the Azumito clan. But he never thought he’d use them personally, and that makes his brain go blank.
“Shit, I think I lost you,” you say, the sound of crumbled papers resonating across the line, “Jean, I think the tele-thing you gave me isn’t working properly. Can you—”
“Hey.” Levi’s voice bleeds into the machine, rough like sandpaper. “I can hear you.”
“Oh, good, I thought I wasn’t using this correctly. Gee, isn’t this just unbelievable? Onyankopon promised me he’d work to set up a phone line in your house, I’m so glad it worked! I know these things are costly but, you know, at least we get to talk, even if it’s brief. Of course, I’ll still write you letters on top of that! And hey—Levi, are you still with me?”
He almost smiles. “Yeah, dumbass. You’re the one going on a monologue.”
“I’m just excited! Can you blame me? I haven’t heard your voice in… a long time.”
Levi’s heart jolts in his chest, clinging to the fact that you’re excited to hear him, but mourning the time passed since he last heard your voice. He’s all aware of how long it’s been (347 days, by his account).
“I can’t wait to see you next month,” you add in a lower voice, as if you were trying to whisper into the phone, words only meant for him to hear. It makes them all the more precious. “I’ve… missed you, 'Vi.”
Levi’s throat feels thick at he hears your familiar nickname for him. His mind buzzes with words, words he has long thought about, words he wishes he could tell you.
I’ve missed you too. I want to see you again. Please come back to me.
All things he thinks to himself, but doesn’t say out loud.
Instead, he manages a breathy, “Yeah,” because more feels impossible right now, especially with Onkyankopon so close by.
Besides, he wouldn’t want you to hear those words over a machine. Communication tool or not, it still lacks the physicality Levi desires so badly.
“How are the brats doing?” Levi asks instead.
“Oh, they’re good! Armin cut his hair recently. He looks like a blonde mini-you or err… I suppose he’s taller than you now.” If you were standing by his side, Levi would definitely have glared at you. But you chuckle, oblivious to his souring mood. “Guess he always did admire you a lot; I think he’s learned a thing or two from your leadership style.”
“That so?”
“Yeah, he’s cool. Doesn’t glare at everything that moves like you, though.”
Levi clicks his tongue. “Still haven’t lost your shitty sense of humor, I see.”
“Hey, you always found me funny.”
“I never laughed.”
“But you always found me funny—I could always tell.”
“Delusional thinking can get you a long way.”
“Anyway.” You huff with an indignant tone. “Aside from that, Reiner and Connie have changed a lot too! Reiner is still pining over Historia…”
“Disgusting. She’s a married woman.”
“Yeah… weird, right? I keep telling him to move on, he’s got so much going for him now. But he’s hopeless like that, they all are. Besides that… well, Jean grew his hair! Think he’s secretly trying to impress someone. He’s applying pomade and everything.”
He hears the sound of muffled protest, “I am not, Doc,” blending with your sentence. It is followed by your hearty laugh as you seemingly tell Jean to bugger off.
“That aside, they’re all good. Growing into real adults, you know? It feels like yesterday I was doing their first medical checks... just stupid teenagers. Your old Levi squad, huh?”
The second Levi squad, he wants to correct.
“Yeah, sounds like they’re still a real handful,” Levi mutters.
You chuckle. A comfortable silence follows, one that reminds of old times—you and him sitting in front of the fireplace; him reading his reports, you drawing. The cracking of the phone lines almost sounds like splitting logs now, and Levi feels warmth spread from his lower belly to his torso.
He hears your breath through the phone, like you were leaning closer. “Hey, so… less than a month, yeah? You’re sure you don’t mind?”
“I told you already, didn’t I?”
“Because if it’s too much, you can still say no.”
“Adler, I promised I’d take care of you all, and that’s gonna be the case until I’m buried below ground.”
“Don’t speak like that, Levi! It’s morbid.” Levi hears the sound of your laughter again, ringing across the phone line. He wonders if your eyelids are crinkling, the way they always do when you laugh too loudly. “But, hey, thanks. I really appreciate your help, you know.”
“Yeah.”
“I wonder what it is like, your new life.”
“S’nothing special.”
“Sounds to me like you’re still selling yourself short.”
“And sounds like you’re still talking nonsense.”
After a year of not seeing each other, you are finally coming back to Marley.
You are finally coming back to him.
Levi wonders what you will think of all the ways he’s lost.
.
.
.
Section Commander Erwin Smith seeks you out in the infirmary. Says there’s a wound he wants you to check, one he supposedly got during the last expedition.
You don’t tell him that titans don't usually cause hand wounds.
“I have the new recruit’s file here. You might have seen him around. His name is Levi,” Erwin says after some time. You give him a succinct nod. “I’d like for you to keep an eye on him.”
You pause, eyes shifting away from your stitches. Erwin’s gaze is even, clear.
“What do you mean by that, sir?”
Erwin leans back in his chair. “Presently, Levi is flighty and hot-headed. He’s just lost his friends. And he refuses to get a medical check. As it stands, this won’t work—I need to know that his condition is stable to place him on my squad.”
“With all due respect, most of these duties you’ve listed fall outside my medical jurisdiction.”
“I know.”
You raise a brow. Erwin shoots you an eyeless smile. You finish the stitch. Erwin pulls his hand back, admiring your work, then his focus shifts back onto you.
Waiting on your answer.
You finally supply him with one, sighing, “I’ll see what I can do, sir.”
Erwin stands, interlinking his arms behind his back. “I should tell you he’s from the Underground. Will that be a problem?”
“No, sir." You stand up as well. "Though… knowing this, permission to speak my mind?”
“Please.”
“May I ask what’s so… special about him? If rumors are to be believed, you went through quite the trouble to get him.”
“I didn’t think you listened to gossip, Dr Adler.”
“I don’t. But if that wound on your hand speaks for the labors of your efforts… well, I think I have cause to worry.”
A low hum vibrates out of him. “What’s so special about Levi, you ask?” Something lights up across Erwin’s face. The intensity of the pendulum swinging his way. It is followed by the type of smile that makes his eyes crinkle. “I want to believe Levi can change the fate of humanity.”
.
.
.
Today is the day.
The morning shines brightly over the little town of Mare, an endless cerulean that speaks of summer and new beginnings. The sun peaks over the horizon, lingering where the sky meets the sea, a ripple of lavender and peach glimmering over the reflection of the water.
At this time of the day, the wind is at its strongest, a breeze that blows the long strands of grass to one side. Beyond the valleys, there's footsteps dotted across white beaches, only to be ushered out of existence as the waves rolls in.
Mare. Home.
This little town was nothing but fire and dust three years ago. Today, everything has changed. Houses have been rebuilt, trees replanted, and life has begun sprouting again.
Levi wonders what you will make of it.
He spent the first hours of the day cleaning his one-story house from floor to ceiling—a painful undertaking for him, nowadays. The cleaning material stings his bad eye; the positions he has to adopt to clean makes his leg hurt.
But cleaning has always helped to ground him, and that much hasn’t changed here.
Luckily, he wasn't alone in his task.
“Yo, Levi! You ready?” Onyankopon calls out. The man came early to help Levi get the house ready; he’s now come to drive Levi to the train station.
“Yeah.”
Levi grabs his favorite cane, an elegant stick made of thick wood from up north. For the occasion, he’s wearing his nicest navy suit, silver cuff-links, and a matching hat—a gift from you, something you bought him the day the Survey Corps first set foot in Marley. You thought it suited him and Levi’s inclined to agree: he doesn’t look half-bad.
The drive to the train station is uneventful and quiet. Onyankopon asks him if he is nervous, which Levi vehemently denies. His friend just smiles after that with a knowing look like he knows better, but beyond that, he leaves Levi space to gather his thoughts.
Levi is glad of that. He needs the silence to gather his thoughts.
After a year of not seeing each other, he wonders how you will find him. Changed, perhaps. Lost, definitely.
Will you be happy to see him?
It’s ridiculous, really, all this uncertainty. In all his years as a captain, Levi never stopped to linger on hesitations, on regrets. No matter what it was—grief, rough expeditions, political coups—he trusted Erwin; he trusted his comrades. Levi trusted himself.
That it would be you, now of all times, who makes him this nervous, seems a strange twist of fate. Perhaps it is his growing age that has turned him into a sentimental fool, perhaps it is the knowledge that it is you, perhaps it’s because Levi doesn’t quite know what to do with himself... but Levi feels restless.
It took Levi by surprise, your letter. Three months ago to the day. Can I stay with you, Levi? you'd written. Just for a little while, until I figure out what it is I want to do next.
You were gone for a year, helping the Alliance become delegates of peace, while still updating Levi on everything. Now, Armin and the rest are ambassadors, and Levi no longer needs you letters—he gets to read all about their exploits in the newspaper.
And yet, he's glad you never stopped writing to him. Levi will never admit it, but he’s kept every single one of your letters in a box under his bed.
Yeah, old age has turned him into a real sap.
Following all of this, it was decided: of course you could stay with him. Yes, he would help you. When it came to you, there was little Levi wasn’t prepared to do.
With Falco’s and Gabi’s help, Levi made sure everything was well-suited for your arrival. He purchased a bed, a night table, and a wardrobe. He built you a desk, with the help of his boss at work. All of it was arranged into the spare bedroom of his house.
Levi remembers Gabi teasing him. “Is she your sweetheart, Mr Levi?”
Levi scowled at the teenager. “No.”
“S’just, it’s an awful lot for an old comrade.”
“Shut up, nosy kid.”
But Gabi raised a point. What were you to him, exactly?
Levi doesn’t know the answer to that question, not exactly. He considers all the people he’s cared about in his life, and he still falls short in finding the right word to describe what you are. He cares for you, that much he knows—he’s cared for you for a long time. It isn’t the same care that he feels when he thinks of his mother, of Isabel, of Furlan, but it’s just as deep. Love, some might call it, but Levi has seldom witnessed it, so he doesn’t know what to make of his feelings.
He supposes if he had to label what the two of you are, it’s connected. Remnants of an old system, a memory of a past when all that mattered was reclaiming the Walls. Two survivors who carry the legacy of those who sacrificed themselves for the cause.
Not that defining it truly matters. Levi’s long accepted his role as the one to carry the torch. He has found stability and peace this way.
Only, Levi wants more for you. Even if it means being far away from him.
Yes, it will have to mean being far from him, won’t it? He’s too broken for it to be any other way. He knows that. And yet, it doesn’t stop that tiny wisp of something he sometimes feels in his heart at the thought of you—like air, it fills his lungs, begging to be ignited (if you would choose him, he thinks it might).
But Levi’s life was always that of water, and he knows he will drown you if you come too close, like everyone else he has cared about.
.
.
.
You glance at the injury on his forearm, gushing red. Those damn cadets, ganging up on the new recruit. Erwin’s gamble won’t pay off if everyone else is hostile to his new prodigy.
“Hey. It’s Levi, right?”
Levi’s gaze flickers to yours and you realize it's the first time you're up to close to him. His eyes are striking. Freezing gray, like pale moonlight.
“Who the hell are you?” he mutters with a deep baritone.
You give him your full name. “But I actually prefer to be called by my last name, Adler, if you don't mind.” His face stays blank. You sigh. “Listen, Levi, I don’t want to butt into your private affairs... But I just came to tell you this: any injuries you sustain, just come to me, alright? I don’t care if it’s in the middle of the night, or if you have to drag yourself across snow. Because... the only death I accept from a Survey Corps soldier is that of titans. Anything else is unacceptable. Okay?”
"Please. Those cowards were outclassed. They only landed a hit 'cause they played dirty."
"Even so. Don't let that deter you from seeking help," you say. "That said, you have my word. Those cadets will be punished for what they did to you."
“Yeah, whatever.” Levi glances at your hands for some reason— transfixed by the way you press on his wound with a clean cloth. “So, what, you’re a doctor? You heal people?”
Your lips tug into a half-smile. “I certainly try.”
.
.
.
The train groans as it comes to a stop. Levi knows you dislike trains; even on Paradis, when Hizuru helped to install train tracks across the island, you had blanched at the idea of riding in one.
So Levi isn’t too surprised to see you step out of the train carriage on wobbly feet, your face a little grayer than he remembers it to be. He takes a step forward, walking into the smoke hissing from the train, avoiding the throngs of travelers passing by. He removes his hat, just to make it easier for you to recognize him.
As soon as you do, your expression lifts.
That smile.
Levi could see your smile for the rest of his life and never tire of it. He hasn’t seen it in a long time, and it tugs at his heart, like a bird flapping its wings.
That you choose to run towards him—your travel bag swinging against your hip, arms dangling by your sides—is no great surprise. If there is something he knows about you, it is your never ending supply of excitement. It makes him want to smile back, but his mouth slightly parts instead.
“Levi,” is the first word that greets him, that swirls through the air and fills his lungs. You seem to catch yourself just a breath away from him, rooted to the spot in front of him. Levi blinks, wondering if you were about to hug him. But then you dip your head down, coy amusement on your features. “It’s really you.”
Levi swallows loudly. He can hear his heartbeat climbing to his head, and he wonders if you somehow can hear it too.
“Your hair has grown.”
Oh, that.
Yes, his hair has grown, hasn’t it? In the last month, he’s only kept up his undercut; the top is getting longer now. He knows he should get a haircut, but he's experimenting letting it grow.
“It looks good… it suits you,” you tell him.
The coil in Levi’s stomach tightens. He shields his expression by tilting his head and placing his hat back on his head.
“Hey, um…” you let your voice trail off.
“Just spit it out, Adler.”
His peripheral catches a crooked smile. “Would it be alright if…if I hugged you?”
Oh.
That certainly isn’t what Levi expected you to ask. No, Levi feared there might be something wrong with you, or rather with him. But he didn't expect… that.
In his stupor, Levi is too stunned to say anything, so he manages a nod instead.
(He’s grateful you ask before you touch him—you always ask.)
And unlike your earlier display of excitement, full of frenetic energy, your hands treat him with more care. They interlace gently around his back. Levi feels his chest lock as your fragrance sweeps across his brain. The scent can only be described as one thing... Home. Levi grows stiff, not knowing what to do with his hands, so he just lets them dangle along his body. You stay put just for a few seconds longer, and when you break apart, there’s something akin to relief on your face.
Relief for what, he doesn't know.
Your hands linger on his forearms as you take the sight of him fully in like you were committing him to memory. “Just needed to do that. My brain can’t make sense of the fact that you’re really standing in front of me. Like you’re not a figment of my imagination, you know?”
Levi’s gut reaction is to glance down. He doesn’t want to see all the ways you inspect him, all the ways he falls short of the portrait you have of him.
His face hardens and he takes a step back, sheltering himself from disappointment.
“C’mon,” he mutters. “We’ve been standing here long enough.”
“Alright,” you answer in a tone that’s no less bubbly than before. “Show me home.”
As you walk in tandem, away from the train tracks, Onyankopon comes to greet you. He envelops you into a hug where he lifts you off your feet. You chuckle, patting his shoulders, and when Onyankopon’s eyes find Levi’s, there’s a glint in them that Levi swears is speaking volumes of Onyankopon’s thoughts.
A look that seems to indicate: Should’ve kissed her, you damn fool.
Levi promptly ignores that look. Instead, he sets his glare in an altogether different direction.
The walk back towards the car is painful and slow. Levi tries not to let it show, but coming with his cane instead of his wheelchair really was not his brightest idea. He grits his teeth, trying to ignore the throbbing sensation shooting up in his leg; his knuckles turn white the more he leans on his cane.
You take notice.
“Is your leg hurting?” he hears you ask.
Levi dismisses your concern with a one shoulder shrug. “S’fine.”
It’s not fine. Levi overexerted himself with cleaning today. The sun is too strong. His leg is stiff.
Despite that, Levi has no intentions of telling you all about that, because you have a tendency to care, to shower him with attention he doesn’t want, and right now, he just can’t deal with it.
You stop right in front of him. “Hey, are you sure? I can—”
“I said it's fine, didn't I?”
Levi's ears are ringing as he steps past you.
Shit, shit, shit. He didn’t mean to snap at you just now. He’s just no good at this, don’t you see? Already five minutes in, and he feels like he fucked up.
(It's like there's poison on his skin; Levi wants to peel it off.)
But you don’t even seem to pay his temper any mind, as you hum and turn to look at the train station’s newsstand instead, allowing Levi to swallow his shame. From the corner of his eyes, he watches as you purchase three lemonade bottles, which you hand out to them.
The drive back is filled with more words than the journey here. Onyankopon and you engage in easy conversation, talking about all manners of things—how the 104th brats are doing, how the world is looking three years after everything that transpired, how Onyankopon’s husband and family are faring.
Levi sits in the passenger seat next to Onyankopon while you sit in the rear. That doesn’t stop you from leaning forward, your hands resting on the head of the seats as you talk (“Put your seat belt on, Adler.” “It’s on!”). Occasionally, your fingers even tap his left shoulder, a heads up for you to point to interesting things you notice outside. Levi tries to ignore the sparking sensation that’s engraved in his skin.
(Sometimes, Levi wonders if your touch is actually electric.)
“What about you, Levi?” Levi feels your attention settle on the back of his head, drilling heat into his nape. “What do you make of your new home? Mare, the town where the sky meets the sea.”
“It’s fine,” he replies. And he means it—the town is just that. Fine. “The townsfolk are nosy, you’ll fit right in.”
You hum. “Consider my interest piqued. I can’t wait to see your new life.”
New life. Is it really?
“I’ve never started over. Not like this,” you continue, tone thoughtful now. “I mean, I suppose I did, once. The last time was when I first enlisted for the Survey Corps a decade ago… phew, that brings back memories. I remember the looks I got from everyone then—they all thought me very strange to enroll.”
“That’s because you were a suicidal maniac, enrolling to save the lives of soldiers who’d soon be titan fodder. Normal civilians usually have safer aspirations, Adler.”
“I’m not sure if you’re one to talk, Ackerman.”
Levi huffs at that. The portrait that flashes through his mind is vivid, as were the words that went alongside them: Him, the gangster from the Underground and you, the crazy doctor crazy. A pair of strange misfits, the Survey Corps' gamble.
Now, you are the only survivors of something long gone.
“Oh, Walls!” You’re gasping at something behind him, and Levi glances up to see what you’ve seen. It’s the sea—all shades of blue and as mesmerizing as ever. “This is where you’ve been living? Your descriptions in your letters do not do this place justice.”
“What? You expected me to turn into a poet?” Levi grumbles.
“No, but look at this—ugh! It’s everything. The valleys! The beaches! The bay! This feels just like…” you let your voice trail off, not finishing off your words, but Levi knows what you meant to say.
This feels just like the way it was when we first saw the sea.
And yeah, Levi sees your point. The sea here truly does glimmer like jewels, the way Armin always described it, and the breeze does carry that scent of salt that feels like it’s cleaning the air out of his lungs.
Just like it felt to witness it the first time.
“This must be what paradise looks like,” you say.
And just as they pass a curve of the road, something new comes into view: between the soft clouds, a flying boat appears—not one carrying weapons, but instead, carrying with it the tale of a youth whose only sin was a passion for flying.
.
.
.
The medical check is done in silence.
Levi is underweight. His lack of sun exposure has left his skin and eyesight sensitive. You prescribe things to help, though you think some ailments might be a lifelong battle.
When it comes to checking his heart rate, however, that’s when you realize the full extent of Levi’s upbringing. Levi undoes his shirt and your eyes take in the cost of his survival—Levi’s torso, marred with scars. Some of them seem recent, while others are old, stretched-out skin that tells you enough.
These come straight from his childhood.
Just how much violence has Levi witnessed in a single lifetime?
.
.
.
“So?” Levi asks, looking directly at you. He leans his weight against the door’s frame leading to your bedroom, crossing his arms over his chest. “You can redecorate if you like.”
“Why would I do that? This is perfect.”
Levi thinks you might be touched, but he isn’t sure—he was never good at reading your more subdued emotions. Anger, sadness, happiness: those, he can read. Everything in between becomes more complicated, especially with his mind trying hard to convince him that all you see is disgust when you look at him.
You continue to step around the furniture of your bedroom, inspecting it like you are discovering details of a new kingdom. Your fingers fumble over the bed frame. “These bed sheets are my favorite color.”
Levi knows. He picked them for a reason.
(He’ll never tell you as much.)
“There’s drawing supplies in the desk drawers,” he supplies.
He hears it then, the way you suck-in your breath, catching it in the back of your throat. He swerves his attention onto you, only to find you fixing the desk with a stupefied expression.
“You remembered?”
There’s bewilderment in your tone.
Why do you seem surprised? Isn’t this the least you deserve? Levi almost says that there is even more—that he has all your sketchbooks from Paradis, that they were recently delivered by his request. But he abstains from it. He thinks it might be too much right now, though whether it’s too much for him or for you, he’s not sure.
Instead, he just replies gruffly, “It was hard to forget.”
You take a step towards him, eyes softening. “Levi, thank you so much.” You gesture at the room. “For all of it.”
Somehow, those words make Levi want to look away. It isn’t that he doesn’t appreciate you expressing your gratitude, but he’s never known what to do with it served on a silver platter. He prefers to ignore it when he can.
“S’not a big deal.” He shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans, glancing towards the carpet on the floor. “Couldn’t let you starve on the streets, now, could I?”
“Hah. I don’t know.” You move to the windows, your fingers winding around the beige curtains. Levi wonders what you think of the softness of the material. “You might be underestimating me. I can be very persuasive; I’m sure I’d manage to survive out there.”
“Please. You wouldn’t last a day out there.”
You scoff, feigning offense. “And why not?”
“You’d want to help some poor fucker giving you puppy eyes, and they’d just end up mugging you.” Or worse.
“Well, alright. You got me there.” You glance away, raising your fingers to run along the scar on your cheek.
Levi follows your movements, studying the way your hands conceal your old injury. He wonders if it still hurts, if you forget it is there only to be reminded of its existence when you catch your reflection in the mirror.
It happens to him, sometimes.
“Seriously, thank you.”
The softness of your tone cradles his ears. Levi takes a step back.
“No need to get emotional on me,” he mumbles.
You chuckle. “Still. Sometimes, it’s good to say things out loud.”
“If you say so.”
Levi turns around, fumbling with the handle of the door to swing it open.
But just as he’s about to head out, to leave you to unpack, there's a clear sound comes from the other side. Levi hears that familiar "Meow," before he sees the tabby cat sliding in between the cracks of the door.
“Oh... what's this?” he hears you stutter behind him.
Right. Levi probably should have mentioned this minor detail in his letters.
“Scout,” he supplies, eying the kitten currently rubbing her head against his right leg, a loud prrr vibrating against his calve. Three months ago, the cat was nothing more than skin and bones. Like a rat. Now, she’s healthy again, her limbs growing quicker than Levi anticipated.
“You… you got a cat?”
"Clearly."
"Like a pet?"
Levi crosses his arms over his chest, tapping a rhythmic beat of five counts against his forearm. “Do you need to get your eyes checked or what?”
You ignore his surly attitude, the same bafflement still present in your tone. “And you named him Scout?”
“Her. She's a female cat.”
You look down at the cat for a moment, your eyes wide like saucers. Then, with a low, hushed tone, you let out a strangled, “Walls, you're a cat dad,” before pinching your lips tightly, like you were trying very hard not to burst out in fits of giggles.
Levi’s jaw instantly clenches. “Stop laughing.”
“I wasn’t laughing!”
“You were about to.”
“Yeah, alright, I was about to.” And then, as if saying those words out loud gave you the right to do as you please, you stifle out a snort, shooting up a hand to cover your half-contained laughter.
This time, Levi doesn’t bother hiding his glare.
Paying this interaction no mind, Scout looks at you with a quizzical stare, her big, green eyes taking you in. Just like you, the feline creature is now discovering the new room and the furniture that goes with it, and she now seems to want to understand what to make of the new occupant that is to share this space.
And so, with a last parting mrrp, the cat skitters towards you, her fast steps tiptoeing against the oaken floor. In response, you crouch down, outstretching a delicate hand in Scout's direction.
With a combination of grace and suspicion that only cats are really able to muster, Scout sniffs your fingers, her slit pupils observing your every movement.
Whatever she was looking for must have pleased her, because not a moment later, she lets out a high-pitched mewling sound and rubs her cheeks against your digits.
A smile forms on your lips.
And when you look back up, there’s a sparkle in your eyes that makes Levi’s heart skip a beat. "Oh, she's cute," you coo, scratching Scout's chin. "How old is she?"
"I don't know."
"You didn't ask?"
"I don't speak cat, Adler."
"Oh, right. She didn't have an owner?"
"No. She was alone when I found her."
"Oh."
Levi had found the kitten half-dead under some debris; no one in town knew where she had come from, or how old she was. Most likely, her mother had abandoned her, but it was hard to know for sure.
All he knew is that the kitten had been alone, and that was enough for him to want to help the kitten. Taking her in was only meant to be temporary thing.
And yet, here she still was.
"Well," you interrupt his thoughts, head tilting as you inspect Scout, "I reckon she can't be more than four months old."
Levi lets out a grunting sound, not really knowing enough about cats to refute or agree with your observations. Instead, he half-turns away, grumbling parting words, “I’m gonna make us some tea while you unpack.”
His peripheral catches your hand gently gliding along the cat’s spine. “Your bitter old tea, huh?”
He means to ask if you’d prefer something else, but it comes out all wrong: “Got a problem with that?”
Shit.
Your eyes lock with his.
And your smile widens.
“Not at all. It just feels like being home.”
Levi clears his throat and turns away. Home. Is it really like that?
No, of course, it’s not.
Home doesn’t exist anymore.
And he’s not the same man you once knew.
-
A/N: This story has been in the works for the last year, and it's been a very precious project for me. This fic seeks to shed some light on Levi's life after the war, with its ups and down - but ultimately, it's a story of love and healing <3 Furthermore, English isn't my mother tongue, so you know the spiel - don't hesitate to let me know if you spot mistakes, but pls be patient!
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#levi x reader#aot levi#levi x oc#postwar aot#levi x you#levi x y/n#levi ackerman x reader#captain levi#postwar levi#attack on titan fanfiction#aot#levi ackerman x you#levi ackerman x female reader#levi x fem!reader#levi ackerman#levi aot#snk levi#levi attack on titan#levi heichou#we mourned the sea#flo is writing . . .
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press four for more options. | part four.
( Read on AO3 )
Pairing: levi ackerman x f!reader (attack on titan / shingeki no kyojin) Word Count: 4.6k Summary: After seeing your ex with his new girl at a work party, you take the not-so-smart advice from a friend to call a sex hotline to get over him. Your match? A baritone bossy dom named Levi.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI - alternate universe (modern), sex work, pet names, alcohol, mentions of drugs, jokes about death Credits: dividers by @saradika-graphics
part three. / return to part one. | masterlist
Night comes around.
You do not call.
In fact, you don't call the Scout Services Hotline a single time that whole weekend.
As you scroll mindlessly through social media in your bed, fluttering between apps without retaining a single word or meme, your cell phone weighs heavily in your hand.
Don't call.
Just don't call.
It isn't like you're devoid of things to do.
Going out is an option.
Being around people may help your mood — but you don’t feel like unearthing from your snuggie poncho.
Putting on a movie can be a great distraction — but you know your attention span would barely last through the opening credits.
It was him.
Right there.
Right in front of you.
Levi from Scout Services, alive and in the flesh, holding your phone.
No amount of mental gymnastics can make you doubt otherwise.
He has a voice like no other; one that haunts your day dreams and soothes your nightmares, one that brings this sudden urge to do better for yourself—
Ironically, to be independent and strong on your own.
Which, actually, really fucking sucks now that you’re stuck with the decision to totally disappear from the gym, too.
(Kind of thwarts the whole ‘new me’ chest-puffing you’d started Friday with.)
So you make a final decision:
You still have to go to the gym Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.
Even if you say nothing, keep to yourself, remain a shadow, you have to go.
(There’s a fragile line drawn in the sands of reality. You can toe the edge, but you refuse to. This is his livelihood. You’re not delusional to believe you’re a main character exception.)
Coincidentally, Levi goes every day, too.
Your stomach flip-flops with the unsettling realization that your perch on a treadmill actually gives you a perfect vantage point to watch him as he sets his station up every morning.
Meticulously he sets towels down to place his shaker bottle and water thermos down, as if worried the ground hadn’t been cleaned overnight.
He even takes the disinfectant cloths and cleans every dumbbell he lines up neatly before starting his workout.
The dark-haired man truly is less-than-average in height, which isn’t a turn-off to you in the slightest, but his arms — his goddamn arms.
Levi wasn’t kidding when he told you that he could pick you up.
He could probably pick two of you up, one arm each.
They’re so toned, his forearms veiny from morning dehydration.
Training vigorously in his own world, not once does he notice that you’re the bumbling idiot that’s tripped on the treadmill (see: a few times) from dissociating.
Hell, he hasn’t a single fucking clue that you’re close enough to yell across the room to him.
Would he know?
That you’re Scarlet.
His, in some made-up world.
(Does your voice stand out in a sea of lonely people?)
The cleaning ritual extends to his cooldown, where he properly cleans each piece of equipment before nestling it back in its place.
Levi sits on his phone for a second, dropping down to a bench to scroll — text messages.
(Damn it, have you really resorted to minor stalking?)
As soon as he stands, though, you drop your chin to watch your sneakers rhythmically pass one another on the treadmill belt.
He passes like a ghost, evaporating into the men’s locker room without a word.
This is torture.
You miss him.
But you still refuse to call.
Can't — because in another world you may be his, but in this world, he is not yours.
.
.
— —
.
.
Tuesday night rolls around and you decide you hate life.
Annie, Eren, Reiner, and Mikasa are already there by the time you walk into the downtown hotspot.
The boys as well as Mikasa are still in their suit attire from work, their ties loosened at their necks. Annie’s in a hoodie and jeans, clearly much more interested in having a comfortable evening.
If the emptied shot glasses are any indicator of the plans for this evening, then you steel yourself for one hell of a Wednesday.
You glide through the busy crowds of the bar towards the group.
Bodies upon bodies crowd this place — it’s never not a zoo at this hour, no matter the day. Saying excuse me would only waste breath.
A live band croons on the far end of the smoky bar, forcing everyone to talk ten decibels higher just to hear the conversation.
(Can’t you turn around and go home while you’re ahead?)
In the sea of people, a pair of emerald green eyes over by a cluster of tables in the right-hand corner catch your movement. They widen, recognizing your face, and a lopsided grin of surprise follows.
“Holy shit, she left her cave!” Eren yells, holding up a cheap beer in salute to your arrival.
(Thanks Jeager, you little fuck.)
You don’t hear what she says, but you can see Mikasa’s lips part in tandem with a sharp elbow jab straight to his ribs.
Eren instantly falters his salute, souring in pain.
“I know. Don’t be so shocked,” you state to your colleagues, leaning up against the circular high-top table. “Am I the last to show?”
“Nah, you’re right on time. Armin and Jean’re on their way,” Reiner grunts, holding onto a comically small cosmopolitan in his rather large hand. “Sasha’s on babysitting duty with Nicco.”
You look around the bar for any other familiar faces.
“And Connie?”
“Passed out,” Mikasa supplies. “Took edibles after work.”
“There’s no chance in hell anyone’s waking him,” Eren snorts. “Fucker’s toast.”
Reiner sighs. “For what it’s worth, Jean tried.”
“No, Armin tried,” Annie corrects, finally piping up. She holds something on the rocks — brandy? Whiskey? You can’t tell. “Jean just laughed and kept trying to draw shit on his face.”
“You didn’t see the Snapchat he sent?” Eren asks after a gulp of his beer.
You shake your head, knowing damn well you’ve avoided using your phone for the last several days.
Missed texts, abandoned tagged tweets, your streak in your mobile game ruined — anything so you wouldn’t be tempted to click that little number.
Damn it.
Enough wallowing.
“I’m gonna go grab a drink,” you state, disengaging with the table. “Anyone need anything?”
From your peripheral, you see a familiar mop of blonde hair walking towards your group. At his side is a much taller man sliding through the crowd, navigating the shorter one to the tiny table you’ve commandeered from the masses.
Armin and Jean.
Reiner and Annie shake their heads.
“Nope, I’m solid.”
“Good here.”
“Eren’s got the next round of shots,” Mikasa flatly states. “You’re fine.”
“Ha, hell yeah!” Eren exclaims, before he settles into a confused pause of silence. His head whips to Mikasa, blinking twice. “Wait, what?”
You don’t stick around for that aftermath.
Squeezing back into the lion’s den of people, you try not to get hit with any too-full beverages or waving hands.
You manage to weave and duck, eventually finding a small empty corner at the edge of the bar.
Success.
You rush to claim it before someone else can, your forearm on the wooden surface.
Holding up two fingers to get the one of the three bartender’s attention, she nods once to acknowledge she sees you — she’ll get there eventually.
Two empty stools are available, so you scoot onto the one closest to the wall while waiting for your turn and drop your purse onto the other while you situate yourself.
It’ll likely take a while if the busyness of the staff has anything to say about it.
An hour.
All you need to do is last one whole hour.
Chat a bit, mingle a little so everyone at work doesn’t think you’re a total goddamn recluse, then you can go—
“Is this seat taken?”
A question sounding to your left breaks your train of thought.
The seat.
The one next to you, where your purse lay.
Way to go, dumbass.
You answer on autopilot, not thinking twice about it.
“Oh — shit, yeah. I mean, no! No it’s not. I’m sorry.”
As your torso turns to grab your purse off of the deep red stool, your eyes drop to make sure nothing spills out of it.
“Hold on, let me just move—”
Your chin lifts to find yourself staring eye to eye with Levi.
Wait.
Levi?!
His cheekbones look even sharper under the warm hue of the bar lights overhead, lips parted like he was interrupted in asking a question.
The whites of his eyes grow more prominent with every passing second, making the blue-gray color of them stand out in stark contrast to the black curtain of fringe falling against his temples.
The realization that you spoke — that he’s seen your face before — seems to be hitting him like a goddamn freight train.
Your blood runs cold as your own eyes round.
“...my stuff.”
Weakly you finish your thought, wishing for nothing but death right now.
Maybe a stranger, like a secret agent with wicked strength, will simply rush the bar and put you in a headlock and knock you out.
Maybe your drink will be poisoned.
You’re happy for anything so long as it’s swift.
Levi grunts in acknowledgement, slowly finding a spot on the empty stool beside yours.
Both of you swivel towards the bar, staring ahead.
Silence.
For what feels like hours, neither of you speak. The noise of the bar becomes overwhelming.
Somehow the surrounding voices feel amplified when you’ve lost your own.
It’s trapped between a thousand apologies and half a dozen explanations that sound worse than the one before it.
You need to get up.
Excuse yourself out.
Leave.
You won’t get your damn drink, but that’s fine so long as you’re not here.
“How’s your phone?”
Eventually Levi speaks, and you find yourself wishing he hadn’t.
The effect of his voice is even worse in person — so buttery smooth, the gravel much deeper in his chest now that there isn’t a phone receiver to dilute it.
“Not… damaged,” you reply cautiously.
“Good.”
Another stretch of silence passes, and you forget about ordering drinks altogether.
Your eyes drop to view his folded hands, how the veins protrude even when resting.
His fingers are slender, strong, and hate yourself for yearning.
You have to apologize.
This is crossing a line.
You need to—
“So—”
“I’m canceling my subscription.”
You blurt a fraction later than Levi, proclaiming your innocence before he can ever condemn it.
When you meet his steely eyes, they squint with curiosity.
From the crown of your head to your chin, he assesses in a serpentine pattern before eventually finding your eyes once more.
“How come?” he asks, leaning further against the bar top.
“I— how come?”
You repeat his question in surprise.
Wildly gesturing towards the space between you with your hand, you snort.
“Uh, because that’s the right thing to do in this circumstance? Because seeing you in person is borderline unethical?”
He hums at that, not giving you much to work with.
“And for the record, I did not stalk you to this bar.”
“Didn’t think you did.”
“I’m actually here with friends—”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
Levi interrupts, seemingly unbothered by your rambling.
“At the gym. I can make an educated guess and say you knew it was me from the second I opened my trap, but you didn’t say anything.”
Why isn’t he freaking out?
Shouldn’t he be freaking out?
Just as you open your mouth to continue professing your innocence, the bartender walks over and points to you.
“What can I get you?”
You blanch, no longer remember how to order drinks.
“I—”
“I got her tab,” Levi interrupts casually, tapping his index finger into the counter. “Two hard seltzers.”
Then he has the audacity to glance your way.
“Pineapple, right?”
Holy shit, he remembers your favorite flavor?
Is this a flex?
(It kind of feels like a flex; a way to say I know you, I was there.)
“...pineapple’s fine,” you murmur in return, hesitant.
The bartender doesn’t waste another second to rummage in the mini fridge on the other side of the bar for two slim cans.
For another agonizing thirty seconds, neither of you say a word.
He raises his chin to watch whatever sport’s game is playing overhead on the television.
You stare at your mirrored reflection in the bar backsplash.
This is real life.
The man you’ve spent hours talking to over the phone to, getting off to, is sitting right beside you, yet he isn’t trying to create distance.
If anything, he’s buying you a damn drink and asking you why.
Why didn’t you say something?
“I didn’t say anything at the gym because that would have been extremely inappropriate,” you finally argue under your breath, keeping the conversation strictly between you. “What would I have said? ‘Oh hey, guy I've paid to talk to on the phone every single night for the past week. Isn’t it crazy that I actually go to the same gym as you?’ That’s so creepy.”
When he says nothing, still staring at you, you continue to bury yourself into a deeper grave.
“I mean, I thought you lived, like… a billion miles from me. Maybe from another planet.”
His brows pinch with amusement.
“On Mars, or…?”
Oh.
He’s joking.
He’s actually joking about this.
You turn your chin, brow furrowed. “This isn’t funny.”
“It’s a little funny.”
He crosses his arms over his chest, and you have to force yourself to maintain eye contact.
“I wondered why you looked so scared of me on Friday. Thought maybe I smelled like shit from my workout.”
No, you want to say. Unfortunately it was the goddamn opposite.
“So you’re not…”
“Worried you’re a stalker trying to dox me because of my job?”
Levi blatantly finishes, and you wince.
Clearly he notices your embarrassment, because he sighs and relaxes his shoulders.
“I’m more pissed that you didn’t call all weekend, but then again, that’s the nature of the job.”
You both watch each other for a moment as the bartender returns, passing you both pineapple hard seltzers to nurse.
He pushes your can to your hand, nudging the icy-cold aluminum against your thumb, then picks up his own.
“The nature of the job?” you repeat, and he nods.
“People get bored. Run out of funds. Novelty wears off fast.”
Levi shrugs, sipping his drink.
“Just because you like talking to someone doesn’t mean they stick around. Wouldn’t blame 'em — shit gets expensive quick.”
“I just…”
You trail off, fighting to find the correct words to say.
“...I thought it wasn’t right to call again, knowing I knew what you looked like, so I didn’t.”
Explaining yourself makes your tongue feel sluggish, like you were caught red-handed in a crime you didn’t know you’d committed until hindsight.
“I can leave you alone,” you decide to add, holding your drink tighter. “Like I said, I’m here with my friends and… after all, you were doing your job. A great job. You’re kind of the reason I’m even here in the first place.”
Levi’s brow knits, and your eyes widen.
“Not like that!”
“Pretty shit at asserting yourself even in person,” he murmurs like it’s a cheeky inside joke, and he sips once more. “So how am I the reason?”
He’s not angry.
Hell, he’s conversational.
Not the least bit worried about how you’ve both managed to get here.
Might as well be honest.
“Because I decided to stop being a little less scared of the world,” you confess softly. “It— That’s why I got to the gym so early on Friday. I wanted to start doing strength training, like how you talk about how much you love it. And… I thought, maybe, I’d spend more time with friends. Get out there more. Be more assertive — beyond right now, obviously.”
The dark-haired man’s expression smooths at that in a mixture of recognition and surprise.
The slide of his brow is beautiful, and your heart squeezes at the sight of an animated Levi in the flesh, just as you pictured.
“Do you have to go back to your friends right now?”
At first you don’t quite register his question, but then it causes butterflies to flutter in your stomach.
He looks left to right, as if trying to find your troop of buddies, before returning his attention back to you.
“You don’t… want me to leave?”
Levi shakes his head.
You feel bolted to your stool, unable to move even if you wanted to.
Simultaneously you sip your drinks, keeping eye contact.
It feels intimate.
Too intimate.
“So, then…” You start slowly. “What does this mean?”
“Well,” Levi begins, mulling it over in his head. “Means the whole provider-client relationship has basically gone to shit. You know my face, now I know yours.”
“Right.”
“Then again, that professionalism was already well into a shit pile way before Friday morning.”
You blink, not following. “Huh?”
“There’s nothing in the company policy about what to do when you stumble into your client at the damn local gym, but there sure as hell wasn’t anything about…”
Levi trails off, clenching his jaw in debate.
“...about crossing the line I practically leapt over. I’m good at my job because of my detachment, but this was the only time I bordered on unethical myself. That wasn’t fair to you, and I’m sorry.”
Sorry.
Levi… was sorry?
The words blurt faster than you can stop yourself. “Why the hell are you sorry?”
His eyes widen with a budding uncertainty.
“I… just said I crossed the line?”
“When?”
“On the phone?”
“Okay, duh, but when?”
“Our last session.”
“So that was real.”
Levi actually got off to your voice.
If you weren’t in such shock about sitting here face-to-face with him at a local bar, then perhaps your ego would have, in fact, made a crash landing on Mars.
He considers his next words very carefully.
“It wasn’t supposed to be.”
Then he sips more before shaking his head.
“Look. It’s… a job a friend of mine got me. I’m not a real-life Casanova or any of that shit. Hell, most of my time was spent training punks to fight in a boxing ring, so I never had the energy for relationships or dating.”
You can't hide your surprise. “You were a fighter?”
He makes a noncommittal face.
“Loosely. Personal trainer, training in general — fell into it after I got out of the service.”
“Right, you were in the army,” you murmur, and the edge of his lips upticks at your recollection.
“A couple of months ago the gym I worked for went under, money got tight, so I thought I’d try it out. Guess everyone says it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks, but bossing fighters around and fielding horny-ass callers ain't all that different."
Levi turns his chin just so to regard you under a wispy black fringe.
“I can usually predict what someone wants. The people that call this hotline shit, they’re in and out."
He takes a pause.
"You, though — the second I picked up your call, you threw me through a goddamn loop.”
You use your nail on your index finger to absently scratch the side of your thumb, attempting to process everything he’s telling you.
"First night we spoke, actually, I ended up at this very bar to contemplate why the fuck I wanted you to call back. Didn't want you blowing your money on it, obviously, it's overpriced and ridiculous, but — it clearly shook me up enough for me to take then ten-minute walk in the middle of the night in the first place."
Ten minutes.
That length of time strikes something in you.
“So, your… office building isn’t far?” you slowly ask.
Levi shakes his head. “No, no office. I work remotely. Kind of the reason why I took the gig in the first place. I wouldn’t do this shit if I had an audience in a damn two-by-four cube.”
You’re not sure what possesses you to confess it, but you point past your shoulder.
“My apartment complex is actually six blocks down the street.”
Ten minutes away, is your implication.
His hand had raised to sip from his seltzer can, but it halts immediately.
His eyes narrow.
“The complex on Junction Ave?”
“Yeah," you say.
“Right across from—”
“The Reiss deli.”
That narrowed gaze shoots wide. “You’re shitting me.”
“You say the word shit a lot.”
“Baby, I live there,” he blurts.
“Wait, what?”
Now it’s your turn for your eyes to nearly pop out of your skull.
(You’re too shocked to even process what he called you.)
He huffs in a brief laugh, shaking his head.
“You gotta be fucking with me.”
“I’m not! Wait, you live in the same building as me?”
“You said Thomas was your goddamn mailman,” Levi states. “Do you know how many fucking Thomas the Mailmen there are in this world? I didn’t think we’d have the same one.”
Holy shit.
Oh, holy shit.
You sit up taller in your seat. “Wait, what floor?”
“Sixteenth.”
“I’m on the tenth!” you exclaim in your shock. “Holy shit, so you…”
Have been right above me this entire time.
Your phone buzzes, ruining your train of thought.
Reflexively you look down to see the preview of Annie’s message over your lock screen.
[A. LEONHART]: Did u die?
Right.
You’re here with friends.
“Friends wondering where you are?” Levi inquiries at the sight of your growing frown.
“Yeah, give me a sec.”
You swipe the screen north and type a reply.
[ME]: Talking to someone. Be over in a bit.
Annie’s reply is immediate, and you turn your phone from Levi’s view in mortification.
[A. LEONHART]: 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆
[A. LEONHART]: WINGMAN??? NEED????
[ME]: NO! Do not come over here!
[A. LEONHART]: ok ok ok noted
[A. LEONHART]: i’ll keep jaeger to the left end of the bar
“Looks urgent.”
“Huh?”
You shoot a glance back up to Levi, who’s now angled towards you with his cheek squished against his clenched fist. His elbow props him up on the bar top.
“No! No. It’s just my friend Annie. She — is actually the one who gave me the number to that hotline in the first place,” you confess.
Levi hums in that delicious way you’ve come to crave.
“I don’t want to derail your evening. I’ve already taken you away from them for a while.”
Your heart is hesitant, but it grows despite yourself.
“If you want me to stay, then I’ll stay,” you quietly state. “I… liked talking to you. I mean, beyond the whole — you know.”
He nods once, setting his drink down.
“For what it’s worth, I don’t want you to disappear, either. My job’s not exactly corporate. Not many people can separate fantasy from reality. With you, I never had to bullshit what it was, but…”
Levi trails off, sighing heavily.
“...but I also understand if it’s just a fantasy, for you.”
Something nestles itself between the lines of his words.
Something he isn’t saying outright, sussing out if he has any right to try.
“Do you really mean that, Levi?”
That sigh turns into a curbed huff, smile fleeting but enough to bring your stomach butterflies.
“Damn. Sounds nice, hearing my name in person.”
Oh, sweet Jesus.
You could scream into your damn seltzer, but you decide to play it as cool as you possibly can.
“So Levi’s your real name?”
He nods.
“Not creative enough to come up with an alias."
Levi shifts, rolling out a shoulder.
"But to answer your question, I’m saying I… yeah, I mean it. I wouldn’t mind asking you out for coffee sometime, given we seem to run on the same gym schedule as it is. Just didn’t know if you wanted to leave it at the hotline and call it a day — no pun intended.”
Are you seriously hearing what he’s saying right now?
Does Levi want to step out of a fantasy and into your reality?
Your lips part with a million questions only to end up blurting a very stupid one:
“Are you single?”
That earns a bark of a laugh, causing his head to gloriously drop back, exposing his neck.
(All you want to do is sink your teeth into it.)
“Yes. Very,” he promises. “Are you, still?”
“Very,” you promise back.
“And my job doesn’t bother you?”
You haven't quite gotten that far, logistically, but it's only a coffee.
He isn't asking to marry you.
Besides, he talks about it like any other office job. You can't find any ill feeling toward it.
“Work is work,” you argue with a one-shoulder shrug. “Sure, it’s unconventional, but… I’m so used to not knowing what I want, or second-guessing what’s good for me, and I don’t think I’ve ever second guessed a damn thing with you.”
Bringing the seltzer back up to his mouth, Levi smirks against the can, mulling something over.
You smile in return, sipping your drink.
It's the truth.
He may not really know you, but he knows you.
Just as you're beginning to think you know him.
“Well, if you don’t get too wasted with your friends tonight—”
He steals a ballpoint pen from a dampened closed check from his left side.
Then he snatches a napkin from one of the bartending stations with lemons, limes, and straws.
Hunching over, he scribbles on said napkin, before turning a cheek to you.
“—and you end up going to the gym tomorrow morning—”
Levi then sits up taller, folds the napkin, and reaches for your hand resting on the bar top.
His skin is smooth.
Heated.
Your entire body melts to his whim as he turns your wrist over, palm facing up.
One by one his fingers unfurl your fingers, nestles the napkin in your hand, then closes your fist for safe keeping.
“—give me a call.”
Leaving a twenty on the bar counter, Levi lets go of your hand to slip off of his stool.
You say nothing as you watch him give you one last once-over, expression full of admiration, before turning into the sea of people.
A call.
Flexing your hand, you uncrinkle the napkin to read the number etched black on white.
Not the Scout Services Hotline.
No — his number.
Your attention flies back to the original spot where you've now properly abandoned your friends, but you know they'll forgive you for your absence.
Annie knows.
She'll cover for your abrupt disappearance.
On autopilot you yank out your phone, bypassing the texts from your friends, emails from work, and tap the little telephone icon.
Zero through nine appear.
Hastily you type the number, hesitation long gone, and press send.
One ring.
Two.
By the third, it abruptly cuts. You hear shuffling in the background. Cars beeping.
“Hello, Levi Ackerman speaking.”
Levi Ackerman.
Knowing his full name warms your heart.
Standing from your stool, you rise to your toes to search the floor-to-ceiling windows.
Levi stands there on the sidewalk, holding his phone up to his ear.
“Hi, Levi. It’s formerly Scarlet.”
Immediately he turns to the bar, searching the very same window.
Searching for you.
You smile to yourself.
"My schedule just opened up. I know it's a little late for some coffee, but..."
Trailing off, your teeth catch your bottom lip.
Be selfish.
"Are you free for some tea now?”
.
FIN
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
How are we feeling, Hotliner Nation? I teased that this may not be the end of this story. I'm not against writing a sequel, whether to continue the immediate story or time skip, but I wanted to see what people thought before I spoke too soon. Regardless, I hope you enjoyed our hotline journey together.
In the meantime I invite you to follow me here or subscribe to my AO3, as I have other projects in the works (including finishing the final chapters of my canon-based amnesia au with Levi, Silver Underground.)
The last two months have been such a wonderful journey, and I thank every single one of you for engaging the way you have. I never anticipated such a frenzy when I started P4, so sincerely, from the bottom of my heart - thank you for the comments, reblogs, inbox mssgs, etc. Every reblog gives this writer wings.
#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman x you#levi ackerman x female reader#attack on titan fanfiction#snk fanfiction#snk fanfic#aot fanfic#aot fic#snk fic#levi ackerman fanfiction#levi ackerman smut#levi ackerman fanfic#shingeki no kyojin fanfiction#aot fanfiction#shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction#aot smut#aot x reader#snk smut#snk x reader
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Hi Tumblr I'm an Asian fantasy author fleeing the sudden death of all my other social media sites 👋 I've used Tumblr for years as a fandom lurker and rarely posted but in light of all my other communities imploding I guess I'll have to figure out how to be actually active on Tumblr and find bookish and writerly folks here 💜 say hi if that's you 🥺
If you love diverse filipino fantasy with bipoc leads, angry bi women clawing for space in a world that's always rejected them and soft boys who'd do anything for them, awesome elemental magic based on early Filipino shaman/ babaylan/katalonan mythologies and the Tagalog creation story, and the Bakunawa/Laho the 🇵🇭 sea dragon 🐉 and drowning colonizers then I hope you'll keep an eye out for SAINTS OF STORM AND SORROW coming in June 2024 from Titan Books
#author#writer#writeblr#readblr#bookblr#filipino author#filipino creative#asian fantasy#lgbtqia#queer fantasy#my writing#saints of storm and sorrow#fantasy book
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" My mom is so beatiful! " - Batfamily x Model!Batmom headcanons
Request: Batmom headcanons where batmom’s a model & the coolest mom ever?
Author's note: Thank you anon 🫶! Here is my second request, so I hope you like it. I didn't know what to put for the title so I settled for this one.
And it will also take me a while to upload the Zatanna x reader oneshot 🤗.
Again I clarify that my main language is not English, so sorry for the spelling errors 😿.
TW: nothing!! Just fluff I think
Nightwing / Dick Grayson
Since he met you, he was fascinated with your beauty and elegance.
He loved when you went to galas and you wrapped him up in your long elegant jacket while you picked him up in your arms and let him fall asleep like that.
Dick didn't miss any of your shows or commercials.
I bet he has your older shows saved on his computer.
A model and cool mother at the same time? Wow, Dick couldn't ask for more.
You are his only support, the only one who was there and loved him no matter what.
Dick will always ask your opinion about what he wears or what haircut he will get.
He goes crazy every time he hears someone say "Your mom is hot."
"It's not my fault that my mom loves me and yours didn't love you, fucking slu-"
I feels like he would play with you by imitating your walk just to annoy you.
Always showing off his mother, yesyesyes.
The YJ and Titans members would be very jealous of him; because you treat him very nicely and send him food, without saying that you drown your son with love.
Jason Todd / Red Hood
When he was Robin he was dwarf and plump. I and other people agree 😇
Jason loves the support you give him and keep giving him.
And he also loves your delicious food, he probably asks you to prepare some for him every time he goes out on patrol.
I just imagined him (when he was Robin) bringing you a bouquet of flowers bigger than him once you finish the show, seeing you with those beautiful and big eyes 😭
I bet he sometimes got scared when he saw your face on a commercial billboard.
And he keeps doing it, only he spits out whatever he's drinking when he sees you in TV. (Without him knowing that you participated as a model in X brand)
He loves and continues to love your attacks of kisses on his face.
Yes, he would also ask you for style advice, but only once a year, he is very proud when it comes to his clothing style.
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!! HOW DARE YOU HAVE A FUCKING POSTER OF MY MOM?!?!"
Damn Jason, your mom is a model, what do you want them to do?
Tim Drake / Red Robin
He has a love-hate relationship with your love attacks.
Tim, like his other siblings, would not miss any of your shows, or the parts in which you appear.
He would help Barbara to make sure no one wants to sabotage you at one of your shows.
If given the choice between your food or the support you give him, Tim would jump off a bridge. (jk)
"Bro, can you shut the fuck up and stop saying how beautiful my mom is? I already know that."
Tim gets embarrassed every time he is with his friends and you call him (by phone XD), because you start reminding him that he is very handsome and he need to eat something. But it irritates him more when his colleagues ask to talk to you.
Damian Wayne / Robin
I think he wouldn't care about your job
He's like, the most attached to you.
After your shows he would be attached to you like a flea.
Also at the galas.
Damian was surprised that you were so kind and loving towards him despite the things he said to you before him had that mother and son connection.
I think that at first Talia wouldn't like you, but after several talks with her and assuring her that you're not going to do anything to Damian, you could even be friends.
Oh yes, he wouldn't care about your love attacks, as long as it's not in front of his friends.
"Yes mom, yes I ate the food... Yes, I know you love me. *sighs* I love you too mommy..."
You're like Jon's second mom.
His favorite days are pool or beach days, he likes to enjoy the sea while spending time with his mom.
Cassandra Cain / Orphan
Cass is the vice president of your fan club.
Cass loves you infinitely.
She has an album full of photos of you and her after the shows.
She doesn't like the idea of you parading in swimsuits.
She would always ask you for clothing tips and advice.
Cass likes, loves, and admires having a mother who understands her and can be herself with her.
She wouldn't care if you show her love in public or private. She always gives you more love back!
Skincare routine between you and her.
You always make sure that she is fashionable but also has her own style.
She would have a lot of admiration for you.
I feel like she would hardly take any notice of "your mom is hot" because she thinks they are flattery.
But if they go overboard and insult you, Cass wouldn't hesitate to give them a good beating. Nobody messes with her mommy.
I think she would have you as her wallpaper. A photo of you and her on your birthday or on her birthday.
Stephanie Brown / Spoiler
She is the President of your fan club.
Throughout the parade she is like "how boring, I want to leave" until you finally appear, it doesn't matter if the outfit you wore is ugly, she would applaud you with all her might.
"WHY DID YOU AGREE TO DO A BIKINI COMMERCIAL?!?!"
I feel like she gets angry every time anyone tell her "she's super hot" (you), and Steph is like "the nosebleed I'm going to give you is going to be hot."
Every time she sleeps over at the mansion she joins you and Cass's skincare routines.
She loves you because every time you talk there is some laughter.
Steph appreciates and adores the support you give her as a mother figure.
You rarely have love attacks towards her.
But she adores them.
Every chance she would go shopping with you.
Duke thomas / The Signal
Just let me...
Duke is your photographer.
He had a hard time opening up to you at first, but you were just great and so sweet to him.
He doesn't react like his brothers do when they tell him "your mom is hot", rather he would feel uncomfortable.
Only if they insult you would he get serious.
He likes that you are always there to support him every time he goes out on patrol or comes back from patrol.
You and Duke's connection started when you tried to get him to distract himself from the harsh reality of his biological parents, like going to the park and all that.
He is embarrassed when you have your love attacks towards him. It doesn't matter if you are alone or in public, he will be embarrassed every time you have those love attacks.
I feel that when you go with him to buy clothes, you spend a lot of time because you can't decide what clothes to buy him.
But in the end you end up buying everything for him.
Barbara Gordon / Oracle
Yes, I added Barbara, okay?
In my AU there was no love affair between her and Bruce 😇
The one in charge of making sure everything goes well at the shows.
Sometimes she sees you as her mother, sister and best friend.
Barbara always sends you messages; according to her so as not to lose contact, which is a lie because you know it is purely on a whim.
I don't think you have love attacks with her, just a simple kiss on her cheek or forehead.
Although sometimes she envied the attention you gave to your children.
Barbara would value and care for you deeply.
[You can add more headcanons if you like <3]
#🍓୧ ‧₊˚ Request answered! ⋅ ✮⋆˙#batmom#batmom reader#batfam x reader#batman x reader#batmom imagine#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#robin#stephanie brown#spoiler dc#cassandra cain#orphan dc#batgirl#barbara gordon#oracle#babs gordon
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anti-curse
pairing: percy jackson x daughter of apollo!reader
summary: whether he knew it or not, percy jackson made the world a better, brighter place — and you intend to protect him, no matter what path the fates leads you down. fuck prophetic dreams. the future wasn't written in stone.
warnings/disclaimers: mentions of typical demigod things (battles, weapons, etc.); this is set during the heroes of olympus series so roughly follows that plot + features the seven demigods; mainly inspired by book!percy (dark hair, sea green eyes) bc that's the one i fell in love w growing up; characters are aged up from the book (reader + percy are meant to be 21-22 y/o) bc i imagine there was more time between prophecies/series....anyways, please enjoy <3
when you first met percy jackson, he almost shot you through the chest with an arrow.
given that apollo is your godly parent, you often found yourself at the archery field, which happened to be one of the first stops on percy’s tour of camp half-blood. after that first mishap, your other half-siblings were, understandably, too scared to let percy try again — frankly chiron seemed a bit hesitant as well — and you could sense that percy felt disheartened. so, you flashed the boy a reassuring smile before giving him a few pointers and a second chance. when he smiled back at you, you felt a fluttering in your stomach that told you percy jackson would be more than a little important in your life.
archery still wasn't percy's strong suit, but your gut feeling turned out to be true. you and percy had dealt with a lot since then — a handful of quests, several prophecies, more than a few near-death experiences, a titan war, and, maybe worst of all, high school. you couldn't imagine getting through any of it without him by your side, and you knew the feeling was mutual.
so, you were entirely anticipating that percy would be hurt by your announcement during dinner.
“no way that’s happening.” percy laughs, as if he can’t believe you’d suggest something as ridiculous as not having him accompany you on your quest. he remains unfazed, takes a sip of his electric blue coke before gesturing to the empty seat next to him. “come on, sunshine. have something to eat.”
the nickname sends your heart into a frenzy as you sit next to him. you and percy had never been anything other than friends, but sometimes....sometimes you look at his dangerous ocean eyes and wind-swept dark hair and it makes you blush. sometimes you consider the way his laughter fills you with warmth and his smile holds a thousand memories, the way he teases and winks at you and you decide that he makes your world so much brighter. sometimes you remember how sarcastic and thoughtful and loyal and reckless he is, his heart of gold and unpredictability of the sea. and you start to think that maybe possibly you'd fallen in love with your best friend.
that was not the issue at hand, though. you summon your favourite food and drink, but don't particularly feel like having either. percy returns to his conversation with hazel about how the two of you would drive up to montauk after you finally got your license, any time either of you needed to escape your reality, even just for a night. you'd sit on the beach, stargazing and roasting stale marshmallows and wishing to stay there forever. hazel seems to think that sounds like a nice escape, and percy promises that once the eight of you fulfill this prophecy, you'll all go to the beach house together, which makes hazel break out into a grin.
you can't help but smile at percy who loves his friends, who has loved you for so long. that feeling is quickly replaced by a pang in your chest that reminds you what's at stake. from the corner of your eye, you notice annabeth across from you, who looks at you like you’re a puzzle she can’t quite solve. you're trying to hide it, but if anyone can read you better than percy, it's annabeth. she knows something is weighing on your mind. you briefly lock eyes with jason, who you had gone to earlier for help, from the other side of the room, where he sits between piper and frank.
if you weren’t so distracted, you would have been able to enjoy dinner. the eight of you — all demigods of the current great prophecy — hadn’t been all together in a while, and it was nice to share a meal aboard the argo ii despite the reality of why you’d all been traveling together. leo had equipped the ship with magic plates and cups, and with the lively jokes and stories filling the air, you could almost imagine it was an ordinary summer evening at camp. you could almost forget that tomorrow, you had to go on a quest to rescue apollo and artemis from python, a monster so powerful your father barely defeated him thousands of years ago. you could almost ignore the impending war with gaea and the giants, and the doomed fate of the world if you were to fail. the one thing you could no longer ignore, however, is the gut feeling you have about the fate of the boy sitting next to you if your quest is to unfold the way you had first planned it.
you clear your throat, an attempt to interrupt the group's conversations.
“i was serious earlier,” you declare. “you’re not coming with me, percy. jason is.”
the smile percy had on his face fades. his eyes are filled with concern and disbelief, as he glances at you. “i – i don’t understand.”
"percy,” jason jumps in carefully, aware that he’s treading through dangerous waters like you had warned him. “y/n and i were strategizing earlier and it seems to make the most sense, given our powers combined."
percy shakes his head. “but — but you can’t just make last minute changes. we’ve already got everything set. right, valdez?”
leo shrugs, swallowing a mouthful of chicken before responding. “i don’t know, man. i’m no expert in quests, but it seems like i’m not the one who should be deciding this.” leo looks at you, and you nod gratefully.
you've been on edge since last night, and to calm your nerves you fiddle with the gold chain around your neck. it was a gift from your father: a necklace with a music note charm that can transform into an electric guitar or a bow and quiver. thankfully, you hadn't had to need both at the same time.
“it's up to me. and i want leo and jason to come with me.”
“then i’ll come too,” percy's voice remains calm, but insistant.
“isn’t there that thing about quests usually being done in threes?”
“that is true, piper,” percy agrees. he tilts his head towards you, like he's calling on you to remember. "exceptions have been made, though. like that one time with zoe." that had been years ago, when demigods from camp half-blood and hunters of artemis joined forces. five had been sent out on a quest, but only three came back. you shiver at the thought.
"or my quest through the labyrinth," annabeth recalls.
"but won't that also change our other plans, though?" hazel asks.
"not necessarily," you pipe in, your voice more assertive. "if jason and percy just switch. no harm done."
"we're not interchangeable," percy grumbles.
"hera sure seemed to think so!" leo searches the room for positive responses to his joke, but the most he gets is a half-hearted laugh from frank. "too soon?"
you take a deep breath. "it's not a big deal, really."
"it kind of is," percy counters. "you've never gone on a quest without me."
"you've gone on quests without me," you point out.
"that's...that's different."
"why? because i'm so weak that i need the son of the sea god to protect me at all times?"
you're giving percy the coldest stare you ever have. he hesitates to hold your gaze.
"you know that's not what i meant," he sighs.
"then what did you mean?"
percy looks at you, his eyes and tone softer. “look, sunshine, let's just stick with the plan, alright? we can just —”
“gods, you never listen, do you?" you finally snap. "you're not coming! i don’t want you there, percy!”
percy stares at you, stunned. you look around the table, and everyone looks back at you, wide-eyed. they weren’t used to this side of you, your sudden outburst not fitting in with your usually sunny disposition.
“well, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” leo jokes in an attempt to lighten the mood, with less than ideal results.
“you saw something in your dreams, didn’t you?” annabeth realizes.
her conclusion makes you freeze.
demigod dreams are always significant, carrying vivid images of monsters, messages from friends or enemies. some children of apollo like you had visions of the future — pseudo prophecies that are supposedly set to unfold given the path you’re on. technically, you weren’t supposed to share your visions, something about messing with fate or destiny, but that didn’t mean you had to accept the way things were.
what you saw in your dreams last night, what might happen to percy, made your blood run cold.
you would defy all the laws of the universe and divine rules if it meant you could protect him. so fuck the path the fates are attempting to lead you down, and fuck prophetic dreams. you refuse to let percy die. no matter how frustrated you’re acting towards him in this moment, you know he would still do the same for you.
you figure that the future isn't written in stone, right?
either way, you're willing to challenge destiny for percy jackson.
without answering annabeth, you get up from the table and take a deep breath, carefully avoiding percy’s gaze.
“i go with leo and jason, or i go alone.” your voice is steady, fighting the heavy beating of your heart and tears caught in your throat. “either way, i leave in the morning.” you exit the mess hall before anyone — before percy — can protest.
#Spotify#when i was younger i didn't think people would want to read all the stories i'd make up in my head about this series#so im glad the percy jackson renaissance is here#there's something so healing about writing + sharing this blurb even if i'm still nervous#might fuck around and write another part because i have so many ideas of where this could go#percy jackson#percy jackson x y/n#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo series#pjo fandom#pjo hoo toa#hoo#heroes of olympus#percy jackson x reader#percy jackson x you#pjo#saf writes#riordanverse
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The titanic thing is disappointing for a number of reasons, but first and foremost finding out that this site isn't actually pro eat the rich is dumb as hell. You guys remember the French Revolution? The American wealth disparity is much worse then it was then. The term 'eat the rich' comes from a poem where the poor eat the rich because there is nothing else to eat. Stop being morally neutral and start thinking about how much better your life and the people you love's lives could be if these guys knew how to share. Think about the dog you couldn't afford to bring to the vet and died because of it. Think about the homeless man down the street. Think about the 600 refugees who recently died at sea in Greece. Idk, one life is not worth a hundred, but that's just me.
#titanic#oceangate#eat the rich#im not joking i think every billionaire should be put down#there is no kindness here#im angry and poor and i would not spend 250k to jump in the Iron Lung
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Headcanons for Children of minor Goddesses…
(Nephele, Psyche, Ino/Leucothea)
——
Nephele (Cloud Goddess of hospitality, generosity, loyalty, peace and shyness)
They tend to have hair as fluffy as the clouds.
Their cabin is simple on the outside but very comfortable on the inside. The furniture has a cloud theme and is known to be very comfortable.
Since Nephele was molded by Zeus from a cloud to be in the image of Hera a lot of Nephele’s children share features with the Queen of the Gods. Because of this Hera has a small soft spot for children of Nephele.
Because they are half-siblings with the centaurs they occasionally receive party invitations from them. To which Chiron always advices them not to go because of how… wild centaurs get.
They don’t have that many poweful abilities but their powers are still helpful.
They have the ability to induce a feeling of peace and relaxation with their presence.
They can physically touch clouds and stand/sit/lay on them.
They are known to be one of the most peaceful cabins at camp and are usually not very strong fighters.
They prefer to help out in the infirmary with the Apollo cabin, their powers helping the injured relax through the pain.
Song I associate with them:
——
Psyche (Goddess of the soul)
They are very beatiful, no suprises there…
There’s also not very many of them as Psyche prefers to stay faithful to Eros, though they do show up every now and then… there’s usually no more than one at camp at a time.
When they are claimed a set of butterfly wings show up on their back. They don’t actually work though it’s just for symbolism.
Their cabin is decorated with a stained glass window of Psyche and Eros. The inside has invisible servants, just like Eros and Psyche’s palace.
Speaking of Eros, he loves Psyche’s demigods even if they are not his and sends them gifts on their birthday. Step-Dad of the year.
Putting aside their mothers feud they get along suprisingly well with Aphrodite’s cabin.
They usually wear colorful clothes and accessories to express their emotions or mood that day.
They have empathic powers, and can see the colour of people’s souls as if they were mood rings. And through touch they can stronger sense what might be effecting someone’s emotions.
Their empathic abilities make them basically lie detectors as they can both see and feel when a person is lying.
They are VERY resilient. If you give them a mission they will finish it and come back even if they lose all their limbs in the process.
They are very loving and caring and are willing to go to Hades and back for the ones they love.
Song I associate with them:
——
Ino/Leucothea (Goddess of the sailors)
One of the common feature Leucothea’s children share is that they have dewy skin.
Their cabin is mainly nautical themed on the outside and on the walls on the inside, there’s a wall painting detailing Ino’s transformation to Leucothea. The furniture and beds take inspiration from that of old cruise liners, such as the Titanic.
The floor of the cabin can also open up to a indoor pool, where they can practice their swimming or just hang out if they feel like it.
Compared to most other children of sea deities they can come off as rather arrogant and snobby, no one know specifically why this is.
As for their powers and abilities:
They are all expert sailors, they know how to use any type of boat, just by instinct.
They are all expert swimmers and can swim at very high speeds (using hydrokinesis to boost themselves).
Minor hydrokinesis, they can mainly only control the water around them while they’re actually in the water. They struggle to do it out of water but with pratice they can learn to do that too, though not to the degree of someone like Percy.
They can breathe underwater and are unaffected by any amount of pressure changes.
Like Percy they also have a nautical sense and know their exact location and coordinates when they’re out on the water.
A lot of them chose to use celestial bronze cutlasses over regular swords.
Song I associate them with:
#percy jackson x male reader#percy jackson x male!reader#pjo x male reader#pjo x male!reader#percy jackson and the olympians x male reader#heroes of olympus x male reader#heroes of olympus x male!reader#percy jackson x reader#pjo x reader#heroes of olympus x reader#camp half blood x male reader#camp half blood x reader#percy jackson x male reader headcanons#percy jackson x reader headcanons#percy jackson headcanon#percy jackson headcanons
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k for keep it open for me ⚊ • . with eren jeager
summary: what starts out as a simple conversation ends up in an extensive exploration, where your lustful lover can't seem to get enough of you, drunk on all your body can give him.
cw: established relationship, oral (f. receiving), tits sucking, face riding, eating cum, fingering.
word count: 2.4k
You were lying on the bunk, curled up in your boyfriend’s arms while he playfully picked at your hair, gently stroking it and alternating between slow massages that relieved the stress from your body. Moments filled with peace like these are what you love to have, where the weight on your partner's shoulders no longer existed, even if just for a moment.
It took you a long time to get him back. After cleaning the island of the titans, your boyfriend was never the same again. He would disappear for hours, and when you looked for him, he was always in the same place: the ocean. Staring at the horizon with a rage that made your heart shrink, fracturing your soul into a thousand pieces.
Now everything seems to be going well. You can enjoy his little smiles, the stolen kisses, and the fleeting midnight conversations, like tonight. Where you decided to forget everything and remain wrapped in the warmth that emanates from each other's skin, filling your hearts with the calm they deserve; after so long, you deserve to steal those moments.
“The sky looks so beautiful. Lately, the nights have been filling the sky with stars,” you whispered, listening intently to the beating of his heart. He was relaxed; you knew it from his slow, deep breathing, the rhythm of his heart, and the softness of his voice.
“It’s more beautiful when the sunset falls. The color blends never cease to amaze me,” he murmured, his voice as low as a whisper that mingled with the movement of the wind. “When I see the sunset, I think of you.”
You lifted your head, resting your chin on your hands on his chest. Your eyes shone with excitement; you were overflowing with love and grateful every morning for having Eren as your partner. You had faced difficulties, yes, but love was never a fleeting thing.
“Why?” you asked curiously, ready to delight in his words, which had long ago screamed, hated, and loved at the same time. His duality was merely another projected form of his fragmented soul.
“You are as beautiful as one,” he confessed, lowering his gaze to connect with yours, one hand gently caressing your cheek. “You are warm; everyone loves to see you, and your colors reflect how I see you. You are vibrant.”
“Your eyes, like the sky at its peak, are a deep sea that evokes the calm of a perfect day,” Eren continued, his voice a whisper that danced in the air. “Every hue of the sunset is a reminder of the light you bring into my life. Without you, the colors fade, turning gray and cold, like a forgotten canvas.”
You smiled, feeling how Eren's words wove a warm blanket around your heart. The connection between you both was palpable, a golden thread that intertwined your souls, overcoming every obstacle life had imposed on you. “You’ve always had a special way of seeing the world,” you said, letting laughter bubble up like the murmur of the nearby river. “Even in my darkest moments, you manage to find the light.”
Eren tilted his head, his intense gaze fixed on yours, as if trying to unveil all the secrets you held. “Because you are my light, my inspiration,” he replied, each word laden with sincerity that enveloped you like the warm embrace of sunset. “With you, I've learned that even the most difficult moments can transform into something beautiful if there is love. Your love is the beacon that guides me.”
You moved closer to him, feeling your heart pulse faster. His eyes, so deep and filled with affection, urged you to come even closer. With a softness that almost felt like a whisper, you pressed your lips to Eren’s, the contact igniting a spark that coursed through your entire being.
The kiss was tender and passionate, a perfect blend of love and promise. You felt as if you were floating, as if the world around you faded away, leaving only the echo of your hearts beating in unison. Eren responded to your touch with a tenderness that enveloped you, his hands caressing your back, pulling you closer to him.
One of Eren’s hands took your leg, helping you climb onto his lap while his lips continued exploring yours with captivating sweetness. The touch of his skin was warm and electrifying, and you felt completely immersed in that moment. His kiss grew deeper, as if each contact spoke of a love that had endured the test of time and adversity.
With one hand resting on the pillow where his head lay, you felt safe and cherished. That simple position was a reflection of the trust you shared; you were there, in his world, feeling how each beat of his heart resonated with yours. Eren looked at you, his eyes filled with desire and tenderness, while a playful smile danced on his lips between each kiss.
As his hands glided smoothly down your back, they slipped under your skirt, his hands caressing your backside with a fervor that made you shudder. Eren couldn’t get enough of you; every touch was a declaration of his desire, a palpable yearning that drove him to explore every inch of your body. The mix of passion and need was intense, and you could feel his breathing quickening, almost erratic.
Your skin burned under his touch, each caress provoking a torrent of sensations. Eren enveloped you with a voracity that left you breathless, his desire spilling over with every brush. There were no limits in that moment, only the urge to lose yourselves in each other.
You surrendered to the intensity of his caresses, allowing the world to fade away around you. The combination of his warmth and your submission created an atmosphere charged with electricity, where each second felt eternal, and time held no meaning.
His kisses trailed down your neck, biting the soft skin with an intensity that made you tremble. Eren's hands slid firmly down the neckline of your blouse, pulling the fabric apart more and more as his desire grew. His touch was direct, almost eager, and the urgency in his demeanor made it clear he couldn’t get enough of you.
He pushed you closer to him, the contact of his body against yours raising the temperature in the air. His mouth continued its descent, leaving marks on your skin as his hands moved confidently, without reservations. You let yourself be carried away by the intensity of his desire, feeling the atmosphere grow increasingly charged.
He took one of your breasts in his mouth, sucking eagerly as if he were completely lost in the moment. Eren, addicted to kissing you and touching every part of your body, seemed to have no limits. You leaned further into him, pressing your chest against his mouth, feeling the warmth of his breath and the brush of his tongue.
Small moans escaped your lips involuntarily, each one a response to the intensity of his touch. His need for you was palpable, and you surrendered to the sensation, pleasure flooding every part of you as he continued to explore.
He deftly moved your panties aside with a skill that showed his confidence. Eren was ready to indulge in what he loved to do. His hand slid between your legs, his fingers quickly finding the spot that made you moan. The pressure was intense and deliberate; he did it with a clear purpose.
You arched towards him, letting out a sigh that was a mix of pleasure and need. His fingers worked with skill, exploring every nook, every curve, while his mouth remained busy. His attention was total, focusing on how you echoed his movements.
Eren pushed firmly, his fingers taking you to the edge, while his lips moved to your neck, leaving marks of his desire. The combination of his caresses and kisses made you lose your senses, taking you to a state of pure surrender. Each touch was more intense, as if he were marking a path toward imminent pleasure.
His movements grew more urgent, and your moans increased, filling the space between you. You felt completely exposed, yet at the same time, in the safest place you could imagine. It was a blend of vulnerability and power, where you surrendered to the need of what was happening.
With each passing moment, the air thickened. Eren showed no intention of stopping; he was determined to take you where you both wanted to go. You responded to his movements, feeling how each caress heightened the tension in your body.
“Move your hips for me,” he said, keeping his fingers still, inviting you to pursue your pleasure using his hands. The pressure in his voice was clear, a stimulus that made you want to please him while surrendering to the need that enveloped everything.
With a deep breath, you began to move your hips to the rhythm you desired. The sensation of his touch, so firm yet so gentle, intensified with each movement. You felt the connection deepening, as if each impulse sent a current of electricity through your body.
Your hips rose and fell in sync with the growing pleasure, and Eren watched you intently. His eyes were fixed on you, admiring how your breasts moved in harmony with each of your movements, the rhythm creating a hypnotic dance that kept him completely captivated.
Every thrust of yours seemed to intensify his desire. The way you surrendered to pleasure made him want more; each moan that escaped your lips filled him with energy. The connection between you was palpable, a game of power and surrender fed by mutual desire.
With each movement, you felt the tension building inside you, like a taut string ready to snap. You needed him closer, so you moved your hips, trying to close any gap that might exist between you and his mouth. Grabbing your legs, you pressed them against your chest, feeling the pleasure intensify with each movement. The position allowed you to surrender completely, and that pressure inside you grew stronger.
Eren, always attentive, let himself be carried away by your need. The way you wrapped your legs around him excited him even more, and his movements became more intense. Your moans mingled with the sound of his mouth working, and each time you felt his tongue exploring, a shiver ran through your body. The intensity grew, and each thrust of your hips made him deepen his focus, enjoying the way you surrendered to that unrestrained pleasure.
Eren didn’t stop; his hands gripped your hips, keeping you under his control while you sought more. You let yourself go, making it clear that you wanted everything from him, that each caress, each lick made you want more. The line between pleasure and need blurred, and all that remained was the desire to surrender completely.
The pressure inside you grew, and you knew you were on the brink of a climax you couldn’t avoid.
“You feel so good; I could spend hours here,” Eren murmured, his voice thick with desire. His words resonated in the air, filling the space between you with a palpable intensity. The way he reveled in you made him feel more possessive, hungrier, and that connection only heightened the urgency within you.
“Don’t stop,” you said between moans, feeling how the need began to take over. Your body responded to his touch, and you clung to that sensation, surrendering to what was happening. It was a moment of pure indulgence.
Eren looked at you eagerly as he settled on his back, his gaze fixed on you, reflecting an uncontrollable desire. “Sit on my face,” he ordered, and you didn’t think twice.
You positioned yourself over him, feeling his warm breath against your skin. The connection between you felt even more intense in this new position, where you now had control. You slowly lowered yourself, feeling how his mouth welcomed you, the pressure of his tongue and lips enveloping you immediately.
Pleasure surged, and you couldn’t help but let out a moan. The way he moved, his devotion, made you feel as if you were on top of the world. Your hips began to move, searching for the perfect rhythm as he delighted in you, savoring every moment.
Eren seemed to be in ecstasy, his hands gripping your thighs, guiding you firmly. Every movement you made, every thrust, only intensified the voracity of his desire. You felt powerful, completely absorbed in the moment as you held him captive between your legs.
You gripped his hair tightly as you moved your hips, feeling the pressure inside you increase. “I’m so close,” you told him between moans, sensing that climax was just a step away. Every movement you made was synchronized with his mouth, intensifying the pleasure coursing through you.
Eren reacted to your words, his gaze filled with desire and satisfaction. His hands remained clasped around your thighs, pushing you toward him as you sought that point of no return. The combination of his tongue and your movement became a storm of sensations, making everything around you fade away.
“Cum for me,” he replied, almost like a whisper, urging you on. The connection between you was palpable, and you let yourself go, feeling the pleasure build in your abdomen. It was as if the world stopped, and only that moment between you existed.
With each thrust of your hips, the wave of pleasure intensified, making you lose control. The sensations accumulated, and you could no longer resist. Eren seemed to revel in your surrender, his devotion to you only making you want to give more, to feel more.
“I’m going to…,” you started to say, but the words faded into a moan as you finally let yourself go completely, the climax bursting forth in an explosion of sensations. Pleasure enveloped you, and in that instant, everything else faded away, leaving you at the mercy of waves of satisfaction.
Eren swallowed and consumed everything you had to give him, his devotion palpable as he enjoyed you to the fullest. Every movement of his mouth on you was ravenous, as if he wanted to absorb every sensation emanating from you. The way he surrendered to you intensified the wave of pleasure that continued to flow through your body.
You let yourself be carried away by his hunger, feeling how he held onto you, completely immersed in his task. There was nothing but the warmth of his mouth, the brush of his tongue, and the pressure of his lips, creating a torrent of sensations that kept you on the brink of ecstasy.
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look. they're dead if they're not on the surface. if they're not, they and everyone else will wish they were. an implosion is the kindest death they could have down there.
here are some things to keep in mind:
the deepest operational depths, meaning the safest depth that a manned crew could, potentially, rescue a submersible, is 300 meters. 980 feet. just under a 1000 feet. classified subs may be able to go deeper but that limit is like maybe 100 feet more. submarines cannot go trawling around sea floors unless they're relatively close to the coast
the titanic is 2.4 miles deep. 3840 meters. 12,600 feet. 12 times the operational depth of even the best naval submarines.
this tourist submersible's greatest operating depth? 13,000 feet. they're already at 96% of their operating depth. there's about a 4% margin before shit goes sideways, in normal circumstances
96 hours of oxygen is what OceanGate has told everyone this submersible has. this unregulated, untested sub. that they made. 96 hours of oxygen is probably being very, very generous.
there's only like a handful of submersibles, in the entire world, that can reach those depths. there's more ROVs that can reach deeper, but what percentage could help pull an entire submersible that can fit five people? their best bet is going to be getting some kind of remotely-operated flotation device attached to the submersible.
descending and ascending in a submersible is an incredibly delicate process that takes careful monitoring and delicate instruments. if they attach the flotation device then they're going to need something to monitor the internal and external pressure of the submersible. expanding gas could create a leak, which would instantly implode the submersible on the way up. not to mention gases and ballast must be monitored to prevent the occupants from getting the Bends, which can be fatal of itself.
all of this going to be made infinitely harder if the submersible is, as some suspect, tangled in the wreckage itself, which presents a hundred more problems such as zero visibility, structural collapse of several thousand tonnes of rusting iron and steel, punctures, etc..
all of this is assuming they are still conscious inside, and even have power. no power? even more difficult.
none of this is including the numerous defects the submersible is suspected of having, such as a CO2 filter. this is all assuming this submersible had zero defects--unlikely, considering their own words on why they didn't wait for inspection.
There is a goddamn reason they send ROVs down to the Titanic. There is a reason it should only be done by non-profit groups. There is a reason there should be oversight from the Navy and Coastguard. There is a reason that any human visitation is a carefully coordinated and monitored effort, where the majority are trained technicians inside the submersible and out. There is a reason that submarine crew and research crews also go through psychological evaluations, go through training to understand what to do in life-threatening situations. All of them, not just one dude at the controls.
Because they understand that, like Mt. Everest, when things go wrong down there, it is so hazardous to even any would-be rescuers that you will be on your own, and you will, almost certainly, die. And they may not even be able to retrieve your body, because that too is life-threatening to rescuers. Frankly, emergencies at the top of Mt. Everest are less dangerous than emergencies at the bottom of the ocean.
The ocean is actively trying to kill you down there. It's safer to visit space right now than it is to visit the bottom of the ocean. People haven't gone down there just to get a looky-loo. People are sent down there because there's certain things that only human eyes and senses can do, when it comes to research.
The deep ocean is not a place for fucking rich tourists to live out their James Cameron fantasies of seeing the prow come out of the darkness like in the movie. Whether you believe it's a gravesite that shouldn't be disturbed at all or not, tourists should not be goddamn down there.
Money won't save you at 12,000 feet at the bottom of the sea, motherfuckers. A divine miracle won't save them. But a miracle of human ingenuity, if there's some merciful force out there, just might.
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Kinktober Day 17
starring: charles leclerc x male reader
request: cuck/stag fic with Charles leclerc the f1 driver, he seems like he’d be a huge cumdump behind closed doors and the reader could share him as punishment/desperation.
warnings: smut, cursing, cuck/stag, cum eating, ass eating, slight degradation, cumdump!charles, masturbation
it was a sort of bet thing you had going on, if charles won then he was off the hook but if he lost you got to control him for the rest of the day, and you don't know if it was that he wanted that or if the nerves got to him but he lost.
that's to bad for him as now you had every man in a ten mile radius coming over to destroy his hole, his moans were filling the room like water on the titanic (crazy analogy i know) but that didn't stop you from calling in the next man after the last emptied his load into charles.
"y/n please it's to much" he hicced, all the loads he got pumped into him must've been making him loopy, he was a whimpering begging mess in between men but the moment another man got to wrecking his hole he was pleading for more and more.
"just a couple more guys then we can go" you had your hand wrapped around your cock stroking it as you watched him get fucked again by some large man and it was no secret he was enjoying it.
you could probably hear his babbling down the hall with how loud he was being, you had blown about three loads now watching different men rearrange your boyfriends guts.
but how could you not when he just look at him, he was a raging slut and who would you be to deny your lil slut of taking as many dicks as he wants, the last guy walked in the door, big burly man with the largest cock you had seen that day.
you were excites to see if it was even going to fit, he pressed the tip against charles hole and pushed slowly in, he was parting his ass like the red sea as charles moaned and thrashed around from the slight pain.
why was it turning you on so much, you don't know but you just wanted to see him get his ass destroyed, and that's what happend when the man started thrusting into charles like he was nothing.
you could see it poking at his belly a little, further pushing it out after his belly was already inflated with the countless loads in him "fuck please sir more" charles moaned to no surprise for you, he'd always beg for the biggest cock and that's what he got.
he was gripping the bed and trying to pull away but the man always slammed him right back on his cock, just as the man came in charles you burst you load again all over the ground "you got a good hole here" the man says deeply, slapping charles ass and leaving.
before you even said anything you were rushing you eat the cum out of charles ass, slurping the deliciousness from his leaking gaped ass hole, it tasted so good you couldn't wait to do this again.
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#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x male reader#x male reader#gay smut#x male y/n#x male smut#x male#gay#male reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fanfic#kinktober
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we mourned the sea ˚⁎⁺ chapter 2
> Crossposted on AO3
Levi hasn't seen you in a year, and he wonders how you will find him. Changed, perhaps. Lost, definitely. Or: After the war, you and Levi learn to live in this new world.
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 - Levi Ackerman / Female Reader (Attack on Titan)
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 - Rated Explicit (18+). Post-Canon, Post-War, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic, Fluff, Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Grumpy/Sunshine, Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, Grief/Mourning, Chronic Pain, Panic Attack, Depression, Ambulatory Wheelchair Use, Descriptions of the Rumbling (WC: 7k)
( Previous chapter / Next chapter / WMTS' Masterlist )
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It’s past curfew when you catch a glimpse of Levi on the rooftop of the infirmary. He's been coming up here this past week, though this is the first time you approach him.
“You gonna tell anyone?” Levi asks. He’s playing with a small pocket knife, twirling it in his hand.
You consider his question. No doubt Erwin would want to know that his new gamble is sneaking away from the barracks every evening. Then again, knowing Erwin, he might already know and chooses to just let it slide anyway.
You lean your weight over the edge of the window sill, gazing at the way moonlight crowns Levi's hair. “Are you going to hurt anyone with that knife?”
Levi's eyes twinkle in the night. “What, just because I’m from the Underground means I’m gonna stab someone?”
“Actually,” you say carefully, “I was more worried about you hurting yourself.”
His eyes lose their fire; he focuses back on his knife. “I won’t.”
.
.
.
Freedom—it is the ability to glimpse at endless blue skies; it is horse riding until dusk; it is choices and opinions and being able to voice them.
These days, Levi takes it for granted, his freedom. He’s an ungrateful asshole like that.
If the people from his childhood would hear him now, they would spit in his face. Try to beat him to a pulp. Here he is, lacking gratitude, when some poor lowlife was born and died in that shit hole that was the Underground.
Levi hears that the Underground doesn’t exist anymore. You’ve told him that the Rumbling caused earthquakes to fracture the ground, that much of the subterranean city has been buried under. There were some casualties, of course, but the worst could be avoided since Historia had ordered a gradual evacuation years prior.
Levi wonders if the people now discovering life above ground still have violence in their blood the way he once did when he first saw the sun.
“Levi, where is your secret tea stash?”
Your question muffles over the sound of the kettle groaning awake on the gas stove, blending with the sound of waves crashing outside. It tears him right out of his thoughts and away from the headline he'd been reading: 'More than 75% of refugees in Marley now rehoused, much work still remains in the mental aftermath of the war'.
Levi has been up for several hours now, breakfast long since consumed. You, on the other hand, just got up, the whisks of sleep still present in your cadence, in the corners of your eyes. An anomaly to be sure—Levi remembers you being an early riser, but he supposes that habits, just like people, change.
“Why would I have a secret tea stash?” he counters.
You yawn, a hand covering your mouth. “Well... you always had a secret tea stash, didn't you?”
“To hide from cadets and their grubby fingers. I’m all alone here.”
“Mm," you shrug, words a little slurred, "you could still want to hide a thing or two from me.”
“Then I wouldn’t tell ya where it was, would I?” Levi leans one elbow over the kitchen table, chin lazily resting on the center of his palm. His index finally pokes out to give directions. “S’on the left side, second cupboard.”
Your gaze follows his directive, only to look at him with a slightly more straight posture. “See, that wasn’t so hard.” You stick your tongue out, like a damn child. “Words. They help.”
Levi refrains from rolling his eyes. He watches you open the cupboard, grabbing the tin of loose tea leaves.
On the chair next to him, Scout is curled up and fast asleep. The kitten's muzzle scrunches as she dreams.
“Are you sure I'm allowed to drink this?” he hears you ask.
Levi's eyes flicker back towards you. “Yeah."
"But isn't this special? Isn't this tea from Paradis?"
It is tea from Paradis, courtesy of Armin. It's one of Levi's last boxes, in fact. He knows he'll eventually run out of it, and while he supposes he could ask for more of it, he thinks his taste buds will just need to adapt to something else. That's just the way life goes.
"You know," he mutters, "if you’re gonna be like this about every little thing around the house, it's gonna get tiring real fast.”
You focus on preparing the tea. “I’m just being polite."
“Why? You never bothered before."
A grimace splits across your face. "Ouch. Harsh.”
"S'not," Levi mumbles, running a hand through his hair. It’s freshly washed, still a bit damp. "I mean, no need to act all fake and shit."
"Okay... but this isn't like life in the Survey Corps. This is your house."
His house. Levi doesn't know if he should be more possessive about these things, the way he's seen some townspeople be with their possessions, but Levi's just never been one to care about these things. He never has.
Levi flips his newspaper to the next page. "So long as you keep the place clean, I don’t care about the rest."
“You don’t care?”
His eyes meet yours. There's a spark in your gaze.
Oh you’re taunting him.
Levi crosses his arms over his chest. "Drill this into your head, Adler: anything that’s mine is yours, so just treat this place as such.”
That seems to shut you right up. You blink with a dumbfounded expression, apparently startled by his (accidental, Levi swears it was accidental) turn of phrasing. It’s soon replaced by words uttered beneath your breath, words Levi doesn’t quite grasp because his own ears are whistling. He returns his attention back to the newspaper, attempting to shrug off the weight of the innuendo.
Anything that’s mine is yours. What a stupid thing to say. That almost sounded like a confession or some shit.
For the next minute, Levi tries his damn best to focus on his newspaper.
“Getting her beauty rest, huh?”
You've placed two cups of tea on the table, one pushed towards him, along with a plate for the infusers. You're eying Scout.
“She seems glued to your side,” you add, sitting down.
“Kittens sleep a lot,” Levi supplies lamely.
“In any case, it’s cute to see the two of you together.”
Levi turns the handle of his cup to his left side. “Please.”
“Can you imagine what everyone would say? The fearless Captain Levi, succumbing to a cat—”
"Quit talking and just drink your tea, would you?”
A smirk tugs at your lips. “Aye, aye, captain."
For a moment, silence does fall, and his peripheral catches your chest rising and falling, something oddly quaint and peaceful about witnessing your breathing. You’re staring outside the window, looking at the view of the sea glimmering in the distance. He follows your line of sight, noting that there’s a buildup of crusted salt around the windows; Levi should really clean it off before summer ends.
“Hey, so,” you interrupt after a while, “I was thinking of going to the market today. Get a few things. Maybe find a job.”
Levi locks eyes with you. You’re holding onto your cup with two hands.
“A job?” Levi asks.
“Mm. Yeah. Something that makes sense for me...”
You want to get back to the medical field, already? You just got here.
“Why the hurry?"
“Well…" you say, "I don’t want to leech off you forever—”
“You're not.”
“Still, it'd be good for me, right?” You shoot a bright smile—something too bright about it. Levi eyes narrow. “Anyway, you wanna join or what?” Your eyes crinkle with softness. “You know... I’d love to meet all the nosy people you’ve told me about.”
Levi purses his lips, feeling as though you glossed over that subject much too quickly. A part of him wants to nudge you a bit, though his usual habit to just let you be kicks in. Whatever you're hiding, you have your reasons.
Levi considers your proposal. He knows it would be better if he didn’t join, seeing how damn foolish he’s already acting around you. He should try to set clear boundaries with you.
And yet—
“Sure,” comes out of him all the same.
Well, so much for that, anyway.
.
.
.
“You flew.”
You stand there, staring at the sight of the man as he finishes his round of training.
Levi shoots you a look, grappling with the hand grips. “I’m just using the ODM gear correctly.”
You take a step towards him. “No, but you’re amazing. You must know that, right? I’m not a soldier, but… I know talent when I see it.”
He gives you an odd look then, and before you have a chance to say anything else, propels himself in the air and disappears in the shadows of the forest.
.
.
.
At the market, Levi follows you around like a brooding shadow.
He’s in his wheelchair today. Behind him, you’re pushing him and asking questions about the scenery and the people and all sorts of trivial things.
(“Look, look there, all these teas. Have you tried any of them?”
“Some.”)
(“I'm gonna buy some flowers to plant in the gardens. Is that alright?”
“Do what you want.”)
(“Is the sea always as pretty?”
“Yeah. Sometimes, there's shit that gets carried in.”
"How poetic.")
(“Look, Levi! A car.”
“It looks dangerous.”
“I think I’d like to try driving. Get over my fear, you know?”
“You’re going to get yourself killed.”
“Hey, give me some credit! S’not so different from riding a horse, right?”
“You’ve got a few screws loose up there, you know that?”)
Well, Levi was never great at talking. Not that you seem to mind; you’ve always liked to ask him questions and fill in the blanks when needed. Most of the time, it’s the silence that sits comfortably between the two of you that Levi appreciates so much anyway. It just is, filling the space between the two of you like a soft cloud fills the sky with shapes.
You're moving next to him, calmly taking in the sight of the buzzing market. It's a little too busy for Levi's liking, but the sight of you distracts him: you’re wearing a sunhat with ribbons today, coupled with your cotton overalls. Levi’s never seen you wear a hat like this one before, but he thinks it suits you.
“You should protect your skin from the sun,” you’d said earlier. “That’s why I wear a hat.”
“I didn’t come to the surface to run away from the sun,” he’d grumbled back, even if he did notice how warm summers in Marley truly are (and yes, he’d gotten sunburned on several occasions, and also yes, his injured eye stings every time the sun shines too brightly... but, still, Levi wouldn’t budge).
“Good morning, dear boy! What a surprise to see you here!” someone says, tearing Levi out of the thoughts. Attached to that booming voice is none other than Levi's boss, Adam Jakowski.
Originally an Eldian from Marley, Mr Jakowski was one of the first residents that settled here in Mare. He quickly opened his carpentry shop, and when Levi moved in, he found a job there.
Today, however, Mr Jakowski isn't here for any carpentry-related trades. Every week-end, the man likes to come here and share the goods his wife makes.
"What brings you here?" Mr Jakowski asks.
“I was dragged out, believe it or not,” Levi answers, head bobbing towards you.
Next to him, he hears you snort.
“And who might this pretty young lady be? Are you the missus Ackerman, per chance?” Mr Jakowski asks, his tone carrying a curiosity only people genuinely interested in others are capable of mustering.
Levi feels his cheeks burn at the idea, but you just chuckle, swatting a hand in the air to dispel the notion. “No such thing, sir. But I am new to town and it pleases me all the same to make your acquaintance. Miss Adler, charmed to meet you.”
Levi’s thin brows knit together. It’s the first time he hears you introduce yourself without your profession tied in.
Miss Adler. Not Dr Adler.
Strange.
“Well met, Miss Adler… Well met, indeed! Ah, it is a pleasure to see new faces in Mare, especially a lovely one such as yours. Will you be staying here for a while?”
“Mm. Who knows?” You smile. “I can’t quite say yet, to tell the truth.”
Levi’s throat suddenly feels a little thick.
“Anyway, what are you selling here, sir?” you ask, peering over the stall of the merchant, gazing at all the products and zeroing on a particular one: a red paste.
“The one you're eying is a paste from the eastern part of Marley, ma'am. It’s made with paprika and bell-peppers, you see. Great for inflammations and stomach issues,” the old man explains. He makes you smell it, then turns around to sprinkle it onto something. “You can coat it like so,” he raises a piece of bread that he smears with the red paste, “or add it to your cooking.”
He hands you the toast.
You bite into it, chewing for several moments as you raise a hand over your mouth. “Walls! It does have such a particular taste. It’s the aftertaste, right? Spicy.”
Your eyes wander to meet Levi’s, and you raise the bread slightly in his direction as if to inquire if he wants to taste it as well. Levi shakes his head, and you shoot him a smile, gulping down the rest of the food.
Levi crosses his arms over his chest, drumming his left index in a series of five taps over his forearm—tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Next to him, he hears the way you engage in easy conversation, talking about the weather, how the region has adjusted to the influx of settlers, how you're looking for a job and how, yes, you’d love to meet his wife and daughter!
The rest flies over his head. Instead, Levi looks up at your sunhat again, admiring the way it hugs the shape of your skull, the way the ribbons flow gently with the breeze.
Levi wonders if he could buy you a hat. Or sew you a new ribbon. Would you accept his gifts?
At last, you seem convinced of the product and order three jars. This is the moment when Levi comes back to his senses, seeing you rummage through your pockets to find coins to pay for your purchase.
No such luck.
Levi beats you to it, slinging out the leather pouch his first squad gifted him many years ago, placing the change in Mr Jakowski's hands.
You blink, mouth parted, but Levi just plops the jars he receives into your bag, wheeling himself back.
He hears you fumble your goodbyes to Mr Jakowski, thanking him for his help, and at once, your voice is in his ears.
“Levi, why did you just pay?” you ask, tone bewildered.
“Don’t make a big deal out of nothing.”
“I’m not." You stop in front of him, all stern-looking, hands on your hips. "You didn’t have to do that.”
Levi raises a defiant brow. “But I did, and it’s done.”
“Don’t make it sound so simple. You’re already letting me stay in your house for free. I intend to pay my dues, you know. I have money.”
“I'm sure you do.”
“You—”
“Complain again and I won’t let you pay for a damn thing.”
You close your mouth, glaring at him.
Levi swears he hears something along the lines of ‘I’ll just sneak it back into your pockets later’ whispered under your breath, but when he narrows his eyes in your direction, you feign a look of innocence.
After purchasing everything you wanted to purchase—a book on art, flower beds for the garden—you finally settle in a cozy little café on the town’s square. You order some pastries, while Levi takes his usual tea, the closest thing that resembles the tea from back home. You watch people from everywhere bustle by, while Levi sips on his drink.
“Hey, look!” you point out suddenly. “I’ve never seen those birds before.”
You've pointed to a flock of birds of all colors, no larger than a fist. They’re hopping on the ground, scavenging for food. You get up, asking for some seeds from a waiter to feed them.
“Why did they migrate to this part of the world?” you wonder as you lay out food for them.
Levi doesn’t know what to say. He stares at the birds, nibbling the seeds, admiring the way their feathers seem foreign in this strange land.
Maybe, Levi thinks to himself, just like all the rest of this town, the birds were looking for a new home.
.
.
.
“You know, you should try to teach them.”
Levi’s bored expression swerves in your direction. You’re back to leaning on the window sill, while he sits on the rooftop. A routine, these last weeks.
“What?” Levi mutters.
“Your combat skills. I saw you at training again. I’ve never seen anything quite like the way you handle yourself. You should teach the other cadets.”
His eyes narrow. “And why would I do that?”
“You’ve been out there, right? Seen what the titans are like? You could save their lives.”
.
.
.
The square of Mare is quiet at this time of the evening. A half-moon hangs lazily over the black sky, casting its silver glow over Mare.
You’ve both been drinking. Cheap, bubbly, acidic. Cremant, a drink native to Marley. It was given to you by a shopkeeper when you picked up bread earlier—all it took was seeing you by his side and hearing you were new in town. The woman practically threw the bottle at you, offering it as a welcome gift. You tried to refuse, many times over, but the woman wouldn't take no for an answer (“We need young blood around, so anythin’ to convince younglings like yourself to settle down!”).
Now, here you are, finishing the bottle together in a park. Levi sits with you on a bench, his wheelchair tucked behind it.
Silence.
Levi thinks there’s something on your mind. You’ve never been easy to read; you’ve got a tendency to hide and scheme, to play it off like it’s no big deal, but it’s always your lips that give you away. You bite them when you’re worried, you pout when you’re deep in thoughts.
“Hey.” Levi raises your attention, only to find gentle eagerness on your face. It makes him frown for some reason. “Say something.”
You seem a little taken aback by his directive. It’s rare for Levi to actually seek conversation after all, much less to be the one initiating it.
“What do you want me to say?” you ask.
Levi shrugs. “I don’t know, just anything.”
“Like… what?”
Levi mulls it over. If it were him, he’d hate to be put on the spot and asked outright what to say. So he decides to try a tactic he’s seen you use on others—starting with something light before finding the right angle to tackle the actual subject.
“What was your favorite sight?” he inquires. “On your travels.”
“My… favorite sight?”
Levi gives you a look that makes it clear he’s not gonna repeat himself.
“The sea, of course.” You raise your feet on the bench, hugging your knees as you stare off pensively. “It’s funny, really. With every nation we visited, we saw mountains, deserts and forests… but I kept coming back to the sea.”
Levi remembers the first he saw the sea. The water, glimmering like thousands of silver gems. The blue sky, coming to meet its shine. The 104th brats, with awestruck wonder. Hange and their brazen curiosity.
And you, the way you’d looked at him…
If ever there was a moment of peace during Levi’s years as a soldier, it was those blissful hours spent by the sea. It felt like the world had grown so big, and that there was only wonder to be discovered.
Of course, reality had caught up.
“I’m glad you’ve picked a place like this one to settle down,” you say. "It kind of feels like a homecoming, you know?"
"Yeah."
“The stars are so bright out here.”
Levi follows your line of sight.
This past year, Levi has rediscovered an admiration for stars. Back inside the Walls, they reminded him of Isabel and Furlan, of his dreams from another life. This past year, they’ve started making him think of you, too.
All because of one of your letters: 'Levi, do you ever think about the fact that, despite the distance that separates us, every night, when we look at the sky, we see the same stars?'
“What else,” he finds himself asking, “what else do you have to say about your travels?”
“Hmm… what do you want to know exactly? I wrote so much in my letters, I’d have thought you’d be tired of hearing about that topic.”
“Yeah, but you only described random shit. What was it like?”
What was it like without me?
That thought hangs on his tongue, begs for relief, but Levi bites it down. It’s not right for him to ask; it's none of his business.
And yet, your answer still takes him by surprise, “It was… hard.”
To that, Levi does raise a brow, looking at you.
He finds your gaze already on him.
“The sights were... nice, of course,” you continue. “I got to witness all manners of landscapes. Those were the photographs I sent you in my letters. But then, well, the rest came.”
You swallow loudly. Levi finds his heart squeezing, though he doesn’t fully understand why.
“Seeing the aftermath of the Rumbling…” Your lower lip quivers as the volume of your tone decreases. “It was horrifying. The emptiness was the worst. It’s not like murdering someone in cold blood, see. There, you have to deal with bodies. But, what Eren did…”
You shudder. Levi thinks you’re trying to even out your breathing, and a part of him wants to reach out to you and squeeze your hand. And yet, he knows there’s nothing he can do to really alleviate those images flashing in your brain. That nothing he does can make it right again, that the pain you feel is the cost both of you need to bear for the rest of your lives.
“After that, I went with Armin because I knew he would need help, because I always believed in diplomacy… because I still believe in it. Even now," you say. "But many nations hate the Eldians from Paradis. They hate us and maybe they have every right to hate us.”
You stop talking and close your eyes. For a while, the lull in conversation allows Levi to stare at you unabashedly, to commit your features to memory.
“Why did you never say any of this in your letters?” he asks mid-silence.
“I guess it felt easier not to mention it. I don’t know. I wanted you to hear hopeful things in my letters.”
“I’ve seen how shitty the world can be.”
“I know, but that’s exactly why.” Your eyes somehow find his own again. “That’s why I didn’t want you to know it’s still the same out there.”
It makes Levi’s blood rush, like he was some breakable thing that needed to be protected.
“You don’t need to coddle me.”
And yet, you don’t even seem to notice the snap in his tone, your crossed arms tightening around your knees.
“I know, Levi,” you whisper. “But that doesn’t mean that my pain is your burden to bear.”
Seeing your deflated expression, dipped chin resting over your knees as you lose yourself to your thoughts, Levi’s defense mechanism fizzles away.
That’s the thing about you.
No matter how harshly he reacts, you never seem to rise to the same level as him, the way others did in the military, and it might be why Levi always found it easier to stay by your side.
“You dumbass,” he says with a sigh. Despite telling himself to hone it back, Levi can’t help but raise a hand to the back of your skull, ruffling your head gently—the only comfort he knows how to hand out right now. “Of course that’s my burden.”
The knot in your throat bobs. “Levi, you don’t—”
“Don’t give me that.” He pauses, the words heavy on his tongue. “Even I no longer have the rank to prove it… what does it matter? Nothing’s changed.”
Your voice comes out grated. “Nothing’s changed?”
Levi hesitates. So much hangs on this question. Of course, things have changed.
And yet…
He retreats his hand, patting his stiff leg. “Some things did.”
“Does it still hurt a lot?”
“Some days more than others. The doctor has helped.”
“I’m glad... I'm so glad. Are you still seeing him every other week?”
He nods.
“That’s good. I’m glad.”
His eyes narrow. “You said that already.” You shoot him a lopsided smile. He sighs. “Anyway, you gonna tell me why you stopped calling yourself a doctor?”
Different degrees of surprise flash across your face. Your eyes are wide as saucers, while your mouth stays slightly open.
Levi waits. And waits.
“Hey, you’re not trying to catch flies, are you?” he says, lifting a finger to poke at your chin.
His physical reminder seems to bring you back to the present.
A pout forms on your lips. “How did you know I no longer want to be a doctor?”
Levi shrugs with one arm, pressing his back against the bench. “I guessed, and you just confirmed it.”
“I didn’t think you’d notice so quickly." You let out a wry snort. "Should have known; you’re always so perceptive.”
“And you’re beating around the bush.”
You hum. “Indeed, I am. It’s just… I’m scared of your judgment.”
Levi frowns.
“Don’t give me that look, Levi Ackerman. Your judgment, yes. You’re a very scary man, just not for all the reasons people think you are.”
In the distance, the sound of seagulls drifts from the skies.
“When I asked you if I could come here…” you say after a pause, “I kept on thinking to myself: What will Levi think of me?” You raise one hand to your face, glancing at the scar that runs from your index to the lower part of your palm—a memento left by the Yaegerists. “What will he think of this hand?”
Levi stays silent.
Your smile turns bitter. “You always said my hands were made for healing. But after everything that happened, everything we did, they’re not anymore. They can’t be.”
“Hey—”
“—and the question kept playing in a loop in my head. Will Levi think I’m a coward? Will he think less of me for giving up on this? Is he gonna be done with me?”
Levi ignores all the ways you seem to include him in your insecurities and focuses on one thing only: “You’re a lot of things but a coward isn’t one of them.”
You shake your head. “But I am a coward. I don’t have it in me to heal people, not like that anymore.”
Levi doesn’t know why, but there’s a sense of dread forming in his pit of his stomach.
“Is that why you’re here?” he asks.
Your eyes fire back on him. “No, I didn’t come here to escape, or as a last resort.” You glance away. “But I do feel… lost.”
That makes him backtrack. You? Lost? The doctor who blazed through the Survey Corps’ ranks, making her demands known to the Interior and Erwin like it was no big deal, who pushed for changes to save soldiers' lives?
That doesn’t align with the person he knows.
“I don’t think it’s right anymore, the path I chose.” Your tone is suddenly more frail, more vulnerable. “The first three years after the Rumbling, it felt like the right thing to do, giving my skills in helping others but now… Now I feel like a fraud. To arrive here, I had to end lives.”
Levi’s throat is heavy. “We all did.”
You ignore his words. “The attack in Trost, the one in Liberio, and so many others…. I killed people there. I did. And I remember your words, Levi, about it being us or them but I… now, whenever I look at my hands, all I see is the stain of blood. After all of that, I just don’t think I’m fit to call myself a doctor anymore.”
“You shouldn’t regret the past.”
“That’s easier said than done.”
“Is that why you’re now calling yourself Miss Adler?”
You nod.
Levi purses his lips. He cannot understand your perspective, not truly, because his own moral compass has never been set right. To him, killing was always about survival and there was never good or bad. There simply was the act and the aftermath. There was the fact that he needed to keep on pushing, for humanity.
Despite this, Levi wants to understand. He wants to tell you that your hands did heal, that they continue to heal in invisible ways.
He wants to tell you that however you want to become want, it’s all fine to him.
“Then start over,” he declares, throwing an arm to the back of the bench.
“Yeah.” You snort, fiddling with a loose strand of fabric of your overalls. “It’s not that easy, starting over, is it?”
“Never said it was.” Levi would know. It’s not like he’s here to preach the moral high ground—he’s lost, much more lost than you are. “But if you want to, you’re the only one that can make it happen.”
“Yeah, I know.” You raise a hand to press against your right eye. Levi has the strange urge to tuck it away, to take it in between his own, but he holds himself back. “It’s just… hard. You know, when we were fighting titans, then humans, then nations… I just never considered who I would be after all of it. And when I found myself trying, I found I wasn’t the person I once was, that I couldn’t do what I would have done any more. You know?”
“Yeah.”
“Old me would have kept on going. Old me would have continued to heal people and traveled and helped Armin with peace negotiations. And I tried. Walls, I tried, Levi. But at the end of the day, I just find myself… tired. I’m just so tired.”
Something heavy fills Levi’s chest. He understands, to a degree, what you’re going through. He knew his role was over the moment that the fighting stopped, but for you, the war hasn’t stopped raging—conflicted on where your place should be.
“Sorry," you say, "I know I’m wallowing here, that I’m throwing my own pity party. But, shit, it’s hard, you know?”
“Yeah.” Levi hardens his expression. “But it’s fine, to wallow. No one expects you not to have setbacks.”
“You don’t mean that. Weren’t you always telling soldiers not to linger and look back? Besides, I don’t get to say any of this in front of you. Not with everything you went through.”
Levi’s jaw clenches. “Hey. It’s not a competition.”
This time, he reaches for your hand and unclasps it, noticing you digging your nails into your skin. He forces you to squeeze his hand instead—only, now, you treat him with such care, not even applying pressure.
He continues, “I only said what I said because a Scout’s life was a battlefield every day. But we’re not soldiers anymore.”
Levi sucks in a breath at those words; it’s the first time he acknowledges it out loud: We're not soldiers anymore. He’s a hypocrite, saying these things, when he himself hasn’t let go completely. And yet, for your sake, he wants to pretend—he wants to pretend that there’s a way out for the both of you.
“So I’ve told you, the offer still stands," he adds. "You can stay here for as long as you want."
“Careful what you promise, Levi." You snort. "I’m going to be a real burden to you.”
“Only when you don’t clean.”
Your weak snicker turns into laughter. It might be the most enchanting of sounds Levi’s heard in a long while.
Levi lets go of your hand, despite the fact that he wishes he could hold on, but he tells himself that friends don’t hold each other’s hands for prolonged moments. And that's what the two of you are. Friends.
��You know, when it came down to it… after months of introspection,” you say, voice soft, “all I knew is that I wanted to be near you.”
Oh.
“I stayed away for a year, thinking I could prove to myself, to you, that I wasn’t the needy person I once was," you say. "That I could, I don’t know, manage on my own. But all I got was… how much I missed you.”
Levi thinks his breathing might have stopped entirely.
“Levi, you’re… you’re important to me. You know that, right?” Your eyes find his own, glimmering under the moonlight. “I think… I just don’t want to not have you in my life anymore. Is that a strange thing to say?”
Levi is speechless. He stares at your lips, how plump and lovely they seem, glistening with moisture. He feels sweat on his back—damn this hellish warm weather—and he thinks perhaps he should act.
He forces his mouth open but instead of words—
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
An explosion blasts in his ears.
Levi screws his eyes shut, bracing himself for the impact. There’s screams echoing in the back of his skull, bullets ricocheting against concrete. He smells the charred scent of bodies, sweet and off-putting.
But the fighting never comes. When he evens out his breathing, leaning his weight onto the bench, he notices—
You’re on the floor.
Your hands are covering your ears, your lower lip wobbling. You’re muttering things under your breath, things Levi can’t recognize, but there’s tears brimming the corner of your eyes, and Levi realizes then what happened.
You’re hyperventilating.
At once, Levi is by your side, bending down. The action causes his legs to scream in pain, but he promptly ignores it. He sees you and only you.
You, on the other hand, are unable to look at him; you whimper erratically.
Levi can deduce the source of your panic, because he’s had his own moments like this. It’s the way certain noises, smells, and others pull him back into the past. It must be the same for you.
“Hey,” Levi’s voice comes low and clear, trying to muster it all for you, “take a deep breath. It's not guns. Just fireworks some teenagers are toying with.”
But you seem unable to follow his advice, shaken as you are. You squeeze your eyes shut, tears clumping, streaming thick down the valleys of your cheeks. He sees your fingers pull at the strands of your hair.
Before he can think about it, his arms reach out of you, looping around the small of your back, where he draws you in. He presses you firmly against him. At first, you attempt to fight him back, muttering “no, no, no,” beneath your breath, scratching him, but when Levi finally manages to smooth over your words with his own, you accept the embrace.
Your head slumps down into the crest of his shoulder, like you were just a ragdoll gone limp. Levi tries to ignore the way his worry doubles down.
“Adler, listen to my voice,” he urges, trying to use things that have helped him during his worst panic attacks, during his worst episodes. Of course, Levi never allowed anyone to see him like this, but if he had, he thinks this would have helped. “Your ear’s pressed against my heart right now. Do you hear my heartbeat?”
“Y-yeah,” you answer, voice barely a raw whisper. The sound is enough to shatter something in Levi. It’s so small, so fragile.
“Focus on it," he says. "Focus on me speaking. Pretend that it’s the only sound in the world.”
You seem to attempt to laugh, but it comes across as another nervous sob, hiccups strangling your words. “S-someone thinks h-ighly of his v-voice.”
Levi just clicks his tongue, tightening his hold on you.
Your hands interweave with the collar of his shirt, and you bury your face deeper into his neck. It takes several moments, but he feels the tension in your spine untangle, vertebrate by vertebrate.
“Steady,” he murmurs against the shell of your ear. “You’re alright.”
Your warm lips, drenched with tears, move against his neck. “I just can’t do it, ‘Vi… I just can’t.”
“You can.”
“I’m fucking stuck and I feel so guilty there’s always noises in my brain…” A sob cracks out of you. “I’m so fucking lost.”
“But you’re not alone.”
Your knuckles tighten, but your breath falters.
“You’re not alone,” Levi repeats. His three-fingered hand weaves through the hair at the back of your skull, mingling between your locks. He’s reminded of another time, long ago, when he did this after Nanaba died. “Even if you feel lost right now, you’re not alone.”
“I just—I don’t want to be a bother. I don't want to overstay my w-welcome.”
“You’re not.” His hands have fallen onto your ribcage, slotting over every bone like they were made to belong there all along. “You can stay as long as you want.” Until you grow tired of me. “Whatever you want, it’s yours.”
You’re still hiccuping for air as you draw away from him. You seem to be searching for something, dazed and blurry.
“Y-you don’t mind?” you ask.
"Have I ever said something I didn't mean?"
"I guess not."
For a while, neither Levi nor you say anything else. He watches as your eyes cast down, eyelashes still full of tears. Your breath is back to being steady, though no less frail.
Eventually, your digits settle over his forearms, looking back at him with puffy eyes.
He offers you his clean handkerchief from his breast pocket.
You take it with a crooked smile, staring down at the white cloth. “Thank you, Levi. I mean it.”
Levi looks away; he doesn't think he's done much.
“Walls.” You hiccup, lifting the handkerchief to your eyes. “I’ve made a scene, haven’t I? It’s the alcohol, I s-swear. I barely d-drink these days.”
“You were always a lightweight.”
“Pff, don’t remind me.”
“Well, judging by the brats walking towards us," he says, looking over your shoulders, "they’ve come to apologize.”
Sure enough, moments later, as you help Levi up and you both sit back down on the bench, three snotty kids approach the scene with a look of apology plastered on their faces.
One of them, a boy with vibrant ginger hair, takes the lead. “Ma’am… are you alright?”
You sniffle, eyes still red. “Fine—”
“She’s not fine, brat,” Levi interjects. “Don’t light this shit up in public.”
The boy grimaces with the kind of juvenile innocence only kids can muster.
“Don’t listen to him,” you say, giving Levi a look. “But hey, do try to be careful, ‘kay? Don’t light up things like this all on your own. Fireworks are dangerous, not to mention they’re scary when they’re up so close.”
“I... I won't do it no more, ma’am…" the boy says. "I really didn’t mean to scare you.”
“That’s alright. You couldn’t have known.”
The boy nods before finally fleeting up and meeting Levi's glare. The child instantly cowers back.
“Mistakes happen," Levi grumbles with a softer tone. "Just be more careful.”
“Y-yeah, mister. Won’t happen again.”
"Good."
.
.
.
Erwin finds you in the stables one day. “Levi is integrating with the squad.”
You stop cleaning your horse, raising a brow at the man. “Is he now?”
“Mm." There's wistful amusement on the Erwin's face. "He's started giving advice to his comrades.”
"Is that right?"
That night, when you greet Levi on the rooftop of the infirmary, you don't say a thing about this exchange, but you'll smile just a bit brighter at him anyway.
.
.
.
Levi comes back from his evening shower to find something waiting for him in his bedroom. A piece of paper, carefully folded in three, is placed on his cabinet. Next to it is a medium-sized, black pouch.
Levi first unfolds the piece of paper, unsurprised to find that it’s a letter and that it’s from you.
Levi, You’ll excuse me for coming in without asking, but you insinuated I should make myself comfortable, so… Here I am. You know, if you're going to let me pay for things, then it’s decided: I’m going to bribe you with new tea! No, you can’t fight me on that. As you know, I’m a force of nature—unstoppable. Here’s a new blend for you. I know for certain you haven’t tried this one because it’s straight from my travels. I don’t know why I waited a week to give it to you, but I hope you like it. Your amazing new roomie,- A.
Levi’s lips twitch. He can just picture you scribbling those words in your room, a grin on your face, waiting for him to take a shower just so you can place this handout in secret.
He briefly puts the letter back down, moving to open the gift. The black pouch hides a tea tin of simple design, with an etiquette that’s handwritten. White pu-erh tea. He slowly unscrews the sealed top, bringing it close to his nose to inhale its potent fragrant. Tea aromas, rich in citrus, fill his brain with a lovely buzzing effect. It smells nice, unlike anything he’s encountered before and Levi thinks its taste will be to his liking—that you picked it knowing it would.
His eyes stray back to the letter, picking it back up. He loves the way you write his name, the way you loop the letters together. It's elegant.
With his heart just a bit lighter than usual, Levi adds your letter to the chest under his bed, filled with the rest of your correspondence.
-
A/N: Thanks for reading! I was really touched by all the engagement the first chapter got, truly, so thank you for that. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and hey, if you have a minute, I'd love to hear your thoughts in any shape or form! Take care <3
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This whole submarine thing is a perfect spotlight on how the super wealthy take on an "I'm bulletproof" mentality, which makes sense considering how money can insulate you from pretty much anything.
Then when some guy offers to take them to see the Titanic for $250 000 and makes them sign a waiver that screams THIS TITANIUM AND CARBON SAUSAGE THAT YOU WILL BE BOLTED INTO FROM THE OUTSIDE IS CONTROLLED WITH A BOOTLEG PS3 GAMEPAD AND HAS NOT BEEN PROVEN SAFE BY ANYONE WHO KNOWS THEIR SHIT. THERE IS A VERY REAL POSSIBILITY YOU COULD DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH they go "not me, I'm rich 😗✌" and climb right on.
I've seen this in recreational diving circles too. The richer the clients, the worse they are at listening to you when you end the dive to prevent people running out of air and/or getting the bends. Sure there are the ones who get really into tek, see/hear about someone dying and go "oh shit maybe these limits exist for a reason" and actually start listening but I have pulled out my hair over rich assholes ignoring safety instructions enough to know oceangate had it coming. When social consequences have never existed for someone, they tend to forget that the sea doesn't give a shit who their dad is.
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