#tiny!wilber

[poured-my-past-down-the-drain]

:((((( but I wanna play :((((((((((( if I nap I can't play :(

super silly :))))) he sayd I was veree tiny and tryed to hold me before she got kickded out :))))))

yeah :(((( i miss him :(

YAYYY YES YIPPEEEE YAYY!!!!!!!

why does wilber kis everyone??????? he kises abuelo and grandpa like how you kis dad and papa :0

aw man :(((( well he has to think of you!!!!! or he's not alowed to babisit me!!!! >:)))))

—michael

UM 😇😇😇😇 UH. He sure does kiss a lot of people. It’s her favorite activity . As for me,, uh,,, I definitely don’t kiss your dad and papa 😊😊 at least not like HE does it, the freak

Aw 😊😊 Michael, it’s okay. If he loves you and wants to take care of you sometimes, that’s what matters :) but if you’re that dead set on it, I’m sure he’s open to suggestion.

[baka-monarch]

Ok so I kinda wanted to come up with another au? Ik that there are a ton already but this was in my brain for a hot minute now and I wanted to brainstorm with you. Ok so it’s another borrower au but this time Tommy is the only one that’s human, he first meets tubbo after he gets stuck on the counter (someone spilled some honey and he got stuck on some of the more dry parts), they are quick friends, their personality’s clicking. Tommy especially loves to just listen to Tubbo talk about his perspective on how things work for him cause he’s so much smaller. Later after like a year Tubbo runs to Tommy’s room and tells him a new family is moving into the walls and they need to be discreet on being friends from this new fam cause they super don’t trust humans and Tubbo admittedly really wants to make a good impression on them. Well one night the oldest of the group (Phil) goes out to do some borrowing, being unfamiliar with the new layout he’s trying not to fall or hurt himself as he figures out the best places to get stuff, well little does he know he’s been in Tommy’s line of sight for two minutes and at this point Tommy’s too scared to say anything. Phil finally catches on and just freezes in place getting into a deadlock staring contest with this human teenager who just won’t blink or look away, finally Tommy just sorta waves his hand and that’s all it takes for Phil to just book it out as fast as possible, Tommy freezes again this time in mid wave cause “ah s*** I did not mean to do that”. Phil makes it back to the home he’s set up with his sons and realises Tubbo is there, he immediately tells them all to start packing cause “I got f***ing spotted we need to get out of dodge right now holy s***!” Wilbur and Techno immediately get to work but Tubbo try’s to talk them down a bit, soon he lets slip that Tommy been knew about borrowers and that he’s not gonna hurt them at all, the others are wildly sceptical about that and try to convince him to go with them but he ends up pulling an uno reverse card on them and convinces them to come with him to properly meet Tomm. They follow him back to Tommy’s room and when they peak out to see if he’s still there he’s just laying face down on his bed, Tubbo immediately burst into laughter cause he knows that the reason Tommy is doing that is because he’s embarrassed. The others try to shush him but Tommy has already heard him and look over his shoulder, the others duck out of sight but Tubbo makes his way over, the others are definitely still watching and they are judging everything that is happening, Tommy doesn’t do anything incriminating tho, simply raising his hand like a platform for Tubbo who without hesitation walks on and settles into the dip, Tommy’s fingers raise up and curl over his head a bit to make sure he doesn’t fall as he then raises Tubbo up to eye level, Tubbo can’t help but laugh again at just how embarrassed Tommy looks finding it hilarious. The others watching can’t help but feel slightly in awe at this kid just laughing at Tommy from the palm of his hand. Tubbo explains that the others are watching and Tommy can’t help but groan out loud and fall back onto his bed, his fingers tighten and press Tubbo gently to his palm so that he’s not jostled about in the presses, he lets go of him on his chest lowkey wishing that this wasn’t the first impression he was currently making to the new fam that he actually really wants to talk to. -( my brain is super on autopilot rn omg, I’m gonna stop there before I keep going lmao, I hope you have a goodnight! 🏙🌆🌃🌌) ~👽

Oh gods I fucking love this XD

Just- Philza and them watching Tubbo like "do you have a death wish!?" And Tubbo is just vibing with Tommy-

Eventually though, the family decides to meet Tommy one at a time (with the others watching). Tubbo tries to tell them that all the precautions are unnecessary but they don't listen

Philza is first (to scout out danger) and while Tommy is eating breakfast he comes out of the walls to watch- but it soon turns into him and the boy having a conversation that ends with Philza practically already adopting him-

Next is Wilbur, who gets curious about how a human could get his dad to trust them. He stays in the walls and second guesses himself every time he tries to come out and talk- until Tommy is listening to music while working on something. Wilbur ends up coming out while Tommy is distracted, and gets mesmerized by the music, and might sing a little, gaining Tommy's attention. Tommy starts playing songs Wilbur likes and they bond over how chaotic they both get with the crazy lyrics-

Finally Techno... The last brother is the most suspicious, and no matter what anyone says he's not about to trust a human. Finally, while doing another steak out to spy on the suspicious human's "planning"- he catches Tommy with a wooden training sword (obviously self, and poorly, made) and watching a video about- sword fighting... He's trying to teach himself how to do it while everyone is asleep- of course Techno doesn't care that Tommy is doing a horrible job, and he doesn't notice how fustrated the human is getting with themselves for not being able to "FUCKING GET IT-"... No no... He doesn't notice or care at all- and he definitely doesn't come out to teach Tommy how to properly do it-

Mcyt g/t tag list:

@nomynameisanon @trashpumped @loriepoptale @encaos @i-am-a-weeb @wyforyu-gaming @shy-septic-dragon @5unfl0writ3r @colorfulsiren @moonmwah @iwasgoingtohellanyways @echoslime @wilbur-simp @ultimate-lesbian69 @the-misfits-system

[digitalta]

This is how it happened.

Dream said to put his things in the hole, and Tommy did. He hadn’t mentioned what he had been doing that day, what simple tools he made and wooden carvings he had been working on. He hadn’t mentioned the gunpowder he had gathered by the handfuls, shoving it into his pockets greedily under the morning sun. He hadn’t thought it was important, although in hindsight, it was.

Dream had always come heavily armed, weapons gleaming and freshly polished. It made Tommy nervous, the sight of the netherite enchantments glimmering. It reminded him constantly how weak he was, how exposed and flimsy human skin could be under a blade.

Dream visited not only with weapons, sometimes there were gentle sounds of potions hidden in his pockets, other bits of equipment rattling inside the various pouches on his thighs. Tommy should have said something- he should have, but he didn’t. The gunpowder ignited with a loud crackling pop-pop-pop!

Dream flinched back, just enough to jostle his hip and spill free a collection of eclectic bits and and a handful of blaze powder. Tommy wasn’t the potions master Wilber had once been, but Tommy knew blaze powder and gunpowder created volatile reactions. Combined with purple potions Tommy didn’t recognize and a single shiny enderpearl rolling from Dream’s hip into the stewpot hole- well.

Dream vanished with a rattling bam! And Tommy was a tad bit anxious, waiting for the aftermath of his own stupidity. Surely it was his fault- he should have mentioned the gunpowder in the hole. He should have warned Dream about the combustible nature of today’s spoils. He should have done…something.

What if Dream was hurt? What if he had teleported somewhere randomly and was laying in the woods unconscious. Would Tommy be allowed to leave then? Could he go and get help then?

“He’s probably fine,” Tommy muttered to himself. He fidgeted, wriggling in the sand as it worked its way below his shorts. He flexed and curled his toes near the water, wondering how long until it would be safe to leave. If Dream didn’t come back….Tommy didn’t want to think about it.

He sighed, standing slowly. His little camp was too quiet. Birds were chirping somewhere, singing in the trees as they nibbled at seeds shed by long grass. There were fish leaping somewhere, maybe if Tommy watched the horizon long enough he’d see a dolphin pod or two. If he rummaged through his chests, there would be bread leftover from the previous night.

“Fuck this,” Tommy said to himself, wincing at the loudness of his voice. He felt terribly lonely, and guilty for feeling lonely to begin with.

He could be productive. Tommy didn’t need anyone bossing him around- he had a fishing rod! He could scrounge around for wild herbs, find some potatoes hidden beneath the dirt. Maybe he could make a stew for Dream when he came back. Dream couldn’t possibly still be upset over the gunpowder by then…right?

So, Tommy did what he did best. He dragged his feet, stalled and stretched out the moments. He turned a tiny action into a monumental waste of time. He build towers out of dirt and tore them down, he splashed water and mud and turned his clothes brown.

He shouted until his voice went hoarse, singing loudly and scaring the robins which roosted above him in an oak tree. He filled the silence with his sound until he felt the isolation caress him tighter and tighter.

He built a fire, coaxing it with burnt fingers and dry logs. It spat at him, spitting sparks and embers that swirled upwards in the offshore breeze. Tommy roasted cod on bending sticks, scales burning because Tommy didn’t know how to descale a fish. Dream always laughed at his attempts, throwing away most of the meat.

Tommy sat, folding inwards on himself. It wasn’t cold yet he shivered. The gentle sound of water pushed and pulled in harmony to the heartbeat in his ears and lingering tinnitus. He poked the fire, shifting a log ineffectively.

“This is stupid,” Tommy grumbled to himself. He had a brief inspired thought to kick the fire and send the log flying, something dumb that appealed to his arsonist tendencies. Dream wouldn’t approve, but Dream hadn’t come back yet. The fish was finished cooking, but Tommy hadn’t the appetite to try and gnaw away on the fragile bones.

He sighed, then selected to moan to himself miserably. Placing his head in his hands, he wondered if there was anything more he could do besides sleep. Sleeping this early felt like quitting. He wondered if he should put his things in a hole. He wondered if Dream would notice.

The fire crackled again, soft and gentle. A leaf moved and Tommy looked up.

Someone stood on the edge of his fire, barely illuminated by the orange haze. Crouched forward, at first Tommy thought it was a mob with the stillness of its posture.

“The fuck!” Tommy shrieked, kicking out reflexively and toppling from his log. The thing stared at him and Tommy thought coherently: what the fuck is that?

Tommy had never seen eyes that color and shape- not a cat but not an enderman. Too green to be a human, but too foreign for any mob Tommy had ever met. They were practically glowing, oval and unblinking as they tracked Tommy’s heaving breath. It slowly turned its head, rotating to the side terrifyingly slowly.

And it asked from the edge of the light- a black bandanna resembling the lower hem of trousers sheared off crudely wrapped tightly across its lower face: “are you going to eat that fish?”

[corysmiles]

Ok so I was reading your little streamer au story Just a Joke and that part about the matchbox bed had me thinking, what if Tommy did a stream where he just showed off his house? Like, just walked the camera from room to room and talked about different stuff he had for fun. (Probably not his whole house, just his bedroom and maybe one other him sized room if he has it)

He would probably see nothing wrong with most of it (or even if he does, he doesn’t think it’s a big deal and ignores it, thinking everyone else will do the same) but his friends see how poorly made and “diy” everything looks (like his bed) and start thinking about how all tinys have to live like that.

I imagine Wilber especially starts to feel bad, looking around his house and seeing all the stuff he takes for granted, all things that tinys could only get a poorer version of, if they got a version at all.

Not to mention, Tommy seems to be a bit better off then a lot of tinys, so some don’t even have the stuff he does, and/or have ones of even lesser quality.

Maybe it’s just a one off little “oh...that sucks...” or maybe they try to do something about it. Idk, just think it’s a cute and sad idea. (I have more to say about this idea, but I don’t want bombard you with a super duper long ask, so just take these basics for now I guess, sorry)

-tired anon

House Tour

————————

Little Streamer AU

CW: language

Notes: Woah little streamer content?? In this economy??? More likely than you think. And thank you so much for this awesome idea tired anon I love it :D Without further ado have a fun tiny Tommy housetour followed by Wilbur’s confusion over tiny culture

————————

Tommy hadn’t been this excited for a stream in a long time, but as he set up everything he was practically bouncing on his feet.

He was going to do a house tour- or a room tour- for the chat since they’d only ever seen a bit of it in the background. It was a lot different from his normal content, but it felt refreshing doing something so new.

When he finally stepped back and looked at everything a grin spread across his face. He didn’t think his room had looked this nice since the day they built it. His red sheets were perfectly tucked into his matchbox bed, his dollhouse desk was wiped down and shiny, and even his scrap-fabric rug was dusted.

Pride swelled up in his chest at the sight.

“Mom!” he yelled as he peaked his head through the “window” in his room. It really was just a hole in the wall to the human part of the house, but it also let light in to his room. “I’m gonna be streaming soon!”

He didn’t even wait for an answer before he happily popped back into his small room. It was still a little dusty since it was inside of a wall, but there was nothing he could really do about that. The viewers would just have to deal with it, he mused.

Quickly he sent out a tweet for his stream and hit “go live” on his pc. Almost immediately people flooded the chat even though it was still just his starting soon screen, and one name in particular caught his eye.

WilburSoot: this is not exciting

Tommy grinned and stifled the laugh that threatened to burst out of his chest. Of course Wilbur was messing with him, who would he be if he wasn’t messing with the tiny. And even though it was just one message Tommy was excited to know he was there.

Wilbur had actually been the one to convince him to do a house tour. Tommy never really thought his room was much, it was decently sized but not very exciting, but still Wilbur thought it would be a fun idea for an easy stream. The tiny still has been pretty iffy about the idea but after constant nagging from his brother-figure he gave in.

“Hello chat!” Tommy yelled as he switched his screen to his camera. Dramatically he swung it around to zoom in on his face.

“How are you doing today? I’m doing so well,” he grinned, “Today’s gonna be a little different actually- spicing things up Yaknow. You get to see my big man home!”

The chat blurred in the corner of his eye as he explained what the stream would be, and chugged a cup of coke he’d poured right before he started. It was all going well, and they seemed to like it a lot more than he thought they would.

First Tommy stood up from his desk and pointed it at his setup, “See this is where the magic happens boys.”

He laughed as the chat flew by even faster with one message catching his eye.

“Hey it is not a Polly pocket desk it is a Barbie Ken desk,” he pouted, “please I’m better than that.”

Step by step he moved across his room explaining his furniture and showing off his favorite things. They got to see his cardboard bed, his “borrower hook” he’d been trying to teach himself how to use, and even his “spider hole” in the wall where bugs got into his room.

Most of the time the chat seemed to find it funny, but every once in a while people seemed concerned. He just chalked it up to humans though.

At the end of the stream he put the camera on his desk and jumped up on his bed to say goodbye. To make it even funnier he loaded the tiny nerf gun Wilbur had bought him a while back and tried to shoot the camera.

“I’m gonna shoot you if you don’t leave, go!” he yelled jokingly, “Disparse! Leave! Go home!”

Once the chat seemed to calm down a bit he said his actual goodbyes and teaches as the screen turned dark. Just like always he let out a breath of relief that the stream went well. He enjoyed streaming, but it was still stressful trying to make sure everything went right.

After a minute he fell back onto his bed and scrolled through his phone until discord dm flashed on his screen.

WilburSoot: how did you get a whole fake room for a stream??

Tommy frowned and quickly opened the app staring at the message.

Tommyinnit: what? vc?

The tiny sat back against his bed and waited for his friend to respond as anxiety curled up in his gut.

“Tommy?” Wilbur’s voice crackled.

“Hey Wil, what the fuck do you mean?”

Through his phone he could hear Wilbur shifting around as he stumbled on what to say, “That room.”

Tommy frowned and tilted his head even though he knew the human couldn’t see it, “What about it?”

“What- that can’t be your room, right?” Wilbur’s laugh boomed, “It was a good joke though.”

“Wait wait Wil,” Tommy fumbled, “What the fuck do you mean? This is my room.”

The silence that filled the call almost made Tommy wish he hadn’t said anything at all.

“Huh?”

“Uh yeah,” Tommy coughed, “That really was my room, what’s wrong?”

Wilbur’s staticky hum echoed through his phone, “Oh uh… I don’t know I thought you’d have like…actual furniture?”

“I mean, it works doesn’t it,” Tommy frowned as he leaned back against his sheets, kicking up his feet on the edge of the box, “It’s not that bad.”

“Tommy,” Wilbur paused, “you sleep in a box.”

The tiny froze and stared at the worm edges of the matchbox he slept in. He never really thought about it. It was pretty normal for tinies considering how expensive real furniture was, and he was probably better off than a lot of other tinies.

“Uh well yeah big man,” Tommy stuttered, “I’m a tiny.”

“Well no shit I know that but shouldn’t you have like an actual bed? You have a real pc!” Wilbur said, getting louder by the second.

“Well yeah,” Tommy muttered, “But spending over a thousand pounds on a bed frame just doesn’t seem worth it to me okay?”

Again silence filled the call, and it lasted so long tommy thought the human had left.

Wilbur was the one to break the silence, “One thousand pounds?”

“For a shitty one yeah,” Tommy frowned. He still remembered the day his parents had searched endlessly for any bed frames only to find that they were all thousands of pounds. They had seemed so upset about it, but Tommy never really cared.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Wilbur dropped, “I shouldn’t have said anything I didn’t know.”

“It’s alright,” Tommy smiled, I’m the corner of his eye he saw one of the hoodies he’d bought during his last visit with Wilbur, “But my spider hole is very real and very important to me.”

Wilbur’s loud laugh burst through the phone making the tiny’s heart swell. He missed the human more than he’d admit, and it was always nice hearing his friend’s voice- even if he was just joking about his spider hole.

“Yeah yeah, your spider holes fine. Very normal,” Wilbur joked before his voice steadied, “Seriously though, sorry about thinking it was a joke. I just- I don’t know. I feel like maybe I’ve taken my things for granted. I didn’t mean to seem rude though I-

“Nah stop,” Tommy smiled, “Your house is shit man, I’ve been there.”

The tiny stared at Wilbur’s profile picture as his wheezy laugh filled the room.

“Yeah yeah whatever,” and then an added, “love you Tom.”

Before Tommy could respond he heard the ding signalling Wilbur had left the call. The silence in his room now only filled by the sound of his parents shuffling around somewhere else in the house.

“Yeah,” Tommy hummed, “Love you too Wil.”

Taglist:

@encaos @blurrybunnie @brooky71 @forgetful-dorito

[afternoonzephyr]

the sims 3 will always be my favourite 

i started this family a few months ago and this house started from a tiny 1br and has slowly grown to accommodate 5 kids. imma put a little backstory of the family under the cut...

So I started with Althea Escobedo, she was a nurse who fell in love with Geoffrey Landgraab and she had his baby (Grady) in secret. Eventually she fell in love with Connor Frio (my favourite sims 3 townie) and they got married and had 4 kids (Elliot, Lennon, Henry and Wilber). 

Grady (the oldest) has has a lot of partners, his first girlfriend being Darlene Bunch from next door. They eventually split and he experimented with Gobias Koffi, but eventually was asked out by his little siblings babysitter who he then dated for a while too. Once he went to university he met his first boyfriend but they didn’t last, he came home and had a fling with Parker Langerak. He is a scientist still looking for the perfect partner to start a family with.

Next is Elliot, he was a good kid until he was a teen and became quite rebellious and doesn’t really have a good relationship with his parents. He’s now a young adult and still working the same part-time job at the graveyard. Just like his father he wants to be writer, and a painter. He met his current girlfriend at university. 

Then there is Lennon, the only girl of all the kids. She is very active but also loves to play music. Her and Elliot are very close in age and went to university together. That is also where she met her current boyfriend and she wants to move in with him. 

The last two kids (Henry and Wilber) I haven’t played with them much. Henry is very shy and Wilber was a complete surprise baby. Althea fell pregnant with him with the story progression mod.

That’s really all thats happened so far... oh and Grady, Elliot and Lennon all moved out together in a little 2br home.

[bittydragon]

So like- Ant Au-

So, the "ants"(?) Probably have seen Wilber's face before if they can look out of the glass, right? So, even though Tommy doesn't realize who he's dragging around with him, most of the other "ants" probably do- and when Wilbur meets Niki- oh boy- if she recognizes Wilbur's now not gigantus face, she's probably gonna have a few choice words for the human that's been tormenting their colony and murdering thousands for awhile

And what if Wilbur tries to get out of the farm without a human's help- he's just going to be stranded and not really know how to survive unless someone like Tommy comes with him- and if he doesn't get out, once Schlatt is there, Wilbur is going to be terrified of what this man has planned for him and the "ants" after everything that Wilbur has done

(also like- I can't help but to imagine how awkward it's going to be if Wilbur gets back to normal size after making all these tiny friends, including Tommy-)

(sorry- I fell in love with this immediately and wanted to rant- sorry Bitty-)

No need to apologize, love getting rants!

And yeah, Tommy is the most unobservant person to exist. He is probably the only person who doesn’t realize that he’s dragging around the literal person who has caused them constant hell and even killed quite a few colony members. They make it to Niki’s though and all hell breaks loose. Niki knows exactly who Wilbur is. She’s seen his face enough times to know exactly who it is. She questions how Wilbur is now their size but brushes that aside to give him a few choice words about everything he had done to ruin their lives. Niki had been in the farm for a long time, she’s one of the ones who’s been there the longest. Tommy is a newer addition, so that helps in explaining why he didn’t recognize Wilbur at first even though he has no ant features-. 

So then, Wilbur makes it his goal to somehow find his way out of the ant farm and find a way to grow back to a human again. Even though Tommy is now aware that this is the human that has been ruining their lives, he decides he wants to help Wilbur leave the farm so he can return to normal. He makes it his goal however, to try and change Wilbur’s morals so that when if he returns to normal human size he won’t torture the colony and he can just take care of them and everyone would live a happy life.

And if he does manage to get out of the farm with the help of Tommy, they’re not gonna have any idea on what to do next. There’s no more tunnels, Tommy is in completely new territory, he didn’t even know it was possible to leave the farm until now. Sure this is Wilbur’s home, but he’s now super small so how is he going to navigate his own home?

And then there’s Schlatt. If Schlatt comes to check on Wilbur when he gets out of the farm, he’s going to use this to his advantage. He’s gonna mess with Wilbur (and Tommy) because why not? He’s the size of an ant now, he’s their equivalent now :)

But we also have Schlatt coming in to check on Wilbur while he’s still in the farm. When Schlatt stops by Wilbur’s, he normally helps out on the experiments and torture of the ants. So when he sees Wilbur just isn’t home and the ant farm is unattended, he goes over to play a little. And now Wilbur is going to get a taste of his own medicine :) Either way it doesn’t really end well if Schlatt arrives.

Once again, no need to apologize for the rant! Especially since I respond with my own rants like 85% of the time!

[scribeofred]

Hi! I was just wondering what advice you would give to first time writers.

Hi there!

Depending on time of day, mood, and what I’ve been editing and/or reading recently, my answer to this sort of question changes. Today, I’ve gone full prose, and I’m not sure how strictly helpful this is going to be, but hopefully you’ll be able to glean something useful!

That said.

One of the most important things—if not the most important thing—a new writer can do is WRITE. Just write. Fiction? Absolutely. Nonfiction? Sure, why not. Poetry? If you’re so inclined! Song lyrics? You’re a more brilliant writer than I. Essays? Analyses? Any series of words that comes to mind? Yes, yes, and yes.

Write. Experiment. Break any rules you’re currently aware of and a whole ton you don’t even know exist. Play with language. Get comfortable with using enormous words, tiny words, strong words, weak words; feel the rhythm of language and of different sentence constructions. Hone your ear, really listen to how words sound, look at their appearances, hold the shapes of them in your mouth, let them sit heavy in your gut and flutter the tips of your fingers. (If you really attune yourself to the English language, there should be no such thing as a synonym because no two words mean exactly the same thing.)

Mess about with storytelling. Write as many different kinds of characters and situations as you can. Become aware of what parts of writing you find superbly easy and what parts you want to torch with a flamethrower. Push yourself. Write raw, write real, write those things that scare you, don’t be afraid of doing this writing thing wrong. Not yet (maybe not ever). Don’t don’t don’t DON’T let yourself become paralyzed by all the writing advice out there, all the rules, all the dos and don’ts, all the this-is-how-real-writers-do-it. (Related: I am currently reading a book on writing that I think is excellent—except for the author’s approach to organic plotting. I hate the method he champions. It doesn’t mesh with my style at all. But the rest of the information in the book is A+ and I can’t discount all of it just because that writer and I have different drafting methodologies.) On that note, if anything I say doesn’t jive with your style, ignore it! There’s nothing wrong with cherry-picking writing advice, especially when it’s come from an informal setting like this.

Don’t immediately seek out feedback or editing or publication. It’s so tempting to do that—getting feedback can be addictive, I know—but you need to discover what works for you first and foremost, what makes you excited to write, what causes your unique words to bubble up like a spring. Your early writing might suck. In fact, it almost certainly will suck. I can’t read anything I wrote more than eight years ago because it’s just too cringy. And that’s okay! Every word you put down is a new stepping-stone, and one day you’re going to look back and realize that while many of those stones are shrouded in the fog of time, they’re still there—they still carried you to where you are now—and there are more ahead of you as long as you keep laying words down.

Enjoy yourself! Have fun! Those first two or so years of writing are pure magic, a budding infatuation with all the possibilities that are available to you via this new world of your own creation. Go mad with power. Get drunk on language.

If you really want to, begin learning about the craft of storytelling, about the rules of grammar, about writing in general. Don’t let any of that learning shove you into a box and tape you inside. The best writers break the rules somewhere, somehow—you just need to determine what rules you want to flout and why, and you won’t know that until you actually begin writing for yourself. (If you want a couple of excellent books that aren’t prescriptive, I highly recommend Spellbinding Sentences by Barbara Baig and Mastering the Craft of Writing by Stephen Wilbers.)

Don’t pressure yourself into finishing everything. Don’t feel guilty about not finishing every project you begin. Words aren’t wasted, and sometimes you might only write down a few sentences of a story before getting swept up in the heady elation of a new idea. That’s okay! Similarly, do occasionally finish projects. If you need to set the bar really low, that’s fine. Write a story in exactly 100 words. Exactly 200 words. Exactly 500 words. 1,500 words. Learn how to feel the weight of an idea—and learn your own tendencies. Some writers naturally come up with novels; others naturally come up with short stories. Novel ideas and short story ideas are not the same thing. Play around and discover the differences. Build the habit of finishing projects, though. Not all projects, but some. Revel in the accomplishment—you have completed a story! That’s wild, not every writer can say that! Treat yourself to something delicious or that ultraglittery bath bomb you’ve been eyeing or a pair of snuggly socks or anything. Just make it good, make it a proper reward.

Test out the method of highly structured plotting; then, for the next story, abandon yourself to the whims of your imagination. You’ll probably land somewhere in the middle—most writers do—but you’ll never know unless you try. Discover what you hate about writing, those things that make you want to flip your laptop or phone through the window; circumvent what issues you can, and learn how to mitigate the others. Alternately, force yourself to write something you absolutely hate—if you can do that without letting it crush your spark. Nurture that little flame, feed it tantalizing ideas and engaging characters and the most beautiful words you can find until it’s a roaring fire that cannot be quenched. Discover what you do love to write—and write it!

The world needs your words, your unique voice, your particular storytelling flair. Put pen to paper, fingers to keyboard, thumbs to screen—and write. Anything. Everything. Pure nonsense, your deepest fears and grievances, gossamer words so fragile they dissolve in the eddying breeze, the very truest sentence you know how to write. Don’t lie. Don’t pretend to write as someone you aren’t. Spend time mimicking other writers’ styles, sampling their voices like you’d sample an enormous buffet laid out before you, but don’t stay there. Carve out your own hobbit hole where you’re comfortable, where things are familiar and nourishing, where you’re at home. Occasionally bust down those walls, rearrange the furniture, write literary cubism one day, purple prose the next, stark, bleak, bone-dry reality the day after. Writing is a long, long, long journey, it takes a lifetime to master, so spend those early days and years playing. Delight in the process of creation. Delight in reaching your goals.

Create. Have fun. Don’t take yourself too seriously, and don’t open yourself up to criticism or spark-snuffing feedback too soon. Writing is an intensely personal thing, and you need to get comfortable with it before you can put it on display for the world. Keep laying words down, one stone after another, even when you know you’re not writing as well as you want to be or think you can. Developing your skills takes time—be aware that you’re going to need months, probably even years, before you’re going to have a solid grasp on your own writing tendencies. Work on building that foundation for yourself so you can keep reaching higher, farther, to more fantastical and amazing places.

Give yourself time; don’t expect yourself to be perfect immediately. Be gracious with yourself as you build your skills. Don’t compare yourself to other writers. Stay spongy; always be ready to learn. And—most important—have fun and don’t ever give up!

[askelsenstuff]

Wilber:” He can’t fuccing tace a ciss I swear.“

Fritz:” Wilber!”

Wilber:” He CANT.”

“Alright we gotta make sure he’s sitting down because I’m shorter then him by quite a bit nearly a foot.”

“…”

“Alright he’s sitting with at least five of his Elsen. Time to move to step 1.”

“Step one is fucking kiss him.”

“Okay now I gotta run becayse he’s gonna K I L L me-! Looove you Păpușar-!”

♡

//puppeteer/Saturday belongs to @askelsenstuff / @thatoneperson13

[jasper-raine]

I FINALLY UNDERSTAND WILBUR’S JOKES IN ANIMAL CROSSING N.H.

So he likes to say stuff like “Touchdown, like eating spicy food out of a kaleidoscope” or “... like balancing a checkbook underwater” or “...like balancing a car on top of a battery,” or “...like eating ass when someone just had chipotle” and every time I’m like Wilber what the FUCK does that mean? Did we crash land? Are we dead? Did we just drop out of the sky like a brick?

No. There’s only one correct question to all these statements and one possible answer. 

Wilbur: “Touchdown, like licking a battery through a glass window”

You: “Wilbur, how in the hell do you do even begin to do that?”

Wilbur: “Very carefully.”

HE LANDS VERY CAREFULLY LIKE HOW YOU WOULD DO THOSE IMPOSSIBLE THINGS! HOW DO YOU EAT ASS AFTER CHIPOTLE? VERY CAREFULLY! HOW DO YOU TOUCHDOWN IN A VERY TINY PARKING SPOT FOR A SEA PLANE? VERY CAREFULLY!

NINTENDO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[baka-monarch]

We talked about giant Technoblade before, (After festival) but what about Giant Techno babysitting his tiny brothers. (He seems like the type to pretend to lose them and just makes sure their safe as he pretends to look for them. (Giant Philza was not amused)

As a teenager Techno was trusted to babysit his little (literally) brothers and Tubbo whenever Philza had to go do something.

Whenever anyone would hear of this they'd be amazed by how one piglin could take care of so many chaotic tinies at once-

Really the tinies are just chill when hanging out with their big bro

Of course they still pull pranks on Techno (most notebly the the time they try to make it seem like they were missing) but the piglin is always 5 steps ahead of them so no one can get hurt- he still let's them have their fun though

Although Philza may not agree with all of Techno's babysitting "tactics" he trusts them to always keep the tiny bois safe

Cuddles- so many cuddles- Philza can not COUNT the times he has returned only to find everyone cuddling on Techno's chest with all of them being asleep

Techno pulls pranks on people with the help of the tinies- Philza is not pleased

Mcyt g/t tag list:

@nomynameisanon @trashpumped @loriepoptale @encaos @i-am-a-weeb @wyforyu-gaming @shy-septic-dragon @5unfl0writ3r @colorfulsiren @moonmwah

[orangesodatree]

oKAYsO uHMim trYING TO WATCH  uuHH MEET THE rOBiNsoNS and OOF I LOVE IT TOO MUCH THIS WAY MY S H I T AS A KID f uC k o O F n O O O NOT THE FUCKIN BOWLER HAT G U Y AAA GH N A Y nO AAGH D A MN IT nO LEWIS YOU DID NOTHING W R O N G FUCK OFF GOOB AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA L E W IS NO NO N O N O O O N   O  O YES BUBBLES yAS saVE HIM FROM YOUR MESS AND HIS OWN SELF DOUBT WILBUR LISTEN TO YOUR SON LISTEN TO HIM HE IS YOUR SON BUT ALSO YOU FUCKED UP and u invented it p e r s o n a l  s p a c e  w i l b u r damnIT GOOB UR AN ASSHOLE BUT I CANT HELP BUT LOVE YAH majic pockets no u aint hes MANIPULATING U they all look the exact same h o l d u p

L EGS i l o ve CARL DAMNIT LEWIS HE SAID STAY

d o o r be ll

yeaH CARL

JEBUS

w i l b u r

l i e s

my t e e t h

he W I FE

an her F RO GG O S

goes from orphan to HUGE FAMILY

poor goob he dosent want to talk to himself

it makes him depressed

he loves himself

good job goob

you have a good stick

youre doing ur best hon

we love you

u changed it

GOOB NO ITS DORIS

DO N T

goob we love you

goob no

good try goob

keep trying

ur doing ur best love

tiny carls

OH SHIT

I LOVE THAT THEY PURPOSELY UNSYNC THIS FOR THAT SCENE

drinking frogs

hA

good b uzz

i am the frog

doris is gonna KILL YOU

G OOB

doris HATES U

i lo ve this scene with the t-rex

o m l

ded

i lov that goob can talk with these bizarre things

a hat and a t rex

mobster frogs

d or is c h i l l

NOT MOM

W I F E

T H A T IS UR WIFE

U CANT ADOPT UR HUSBAND

HE IS A ROBINSONALREADY

GASPETH

N O LEWIS THIS IS NOT UR FAULT

GODDAMNITnot ur friends

UR SON

g o o b  damnit

LISTEN TO UR SON

l e w i s

u are wilbers DAD

WOW

ur fault

c a r l

NOOOOOO

I JUST

I FORGOT ABOUT THAT C A R L

N O

well wilbur is a paradox now

he ded

g oob

thanks wilbur

this movie got me into theoretical science i was like HEY SCIENCE W O A H

[spiritualesoterichighlevel]

This Article Doesn't Exist its an illusion

What        are you worried about right now?

Well, it’s        an almost guarantee that you are worried about nothing, for the very reason        that you don’t exist!

You have        no worries because you have no mind or body or life to worry with —        it’s all an illusion. No worries, but more significantly, no worrier.

If you think        this sounds like utter nonsense, some of the most brilliant scientists,        philosophers and theological thinkers of our century would disagree with        you. Science and math suggest that we humans don’t exist, (even though        there is really no math or science — more illusions!). The advent        of quantum mechanics and modern physics increasingly imply that our existence        as human beings is a kind of persistent illusion. We are under the false        assumption that we’re people, we only imagine we have bodies and        brains, and minds functioning inside those brains.

Illusions,        all of it. Listen to what one of the greatest physicists of the century,        Authur Eddington said of quantum theories:

“In        the world of physics…the shadow of my elbow rests on the shadow table        as the shadow ink flows over the shadow paper…the frank realization        that physical science is concerned with a world of shadow is one of the        most significant of recent advances.”

By “shadow”        Eddington meant illusion. More than any other science, it is particle        physics that is confronting the fundamentals of reality, and more and        more, the evidence point to the fact there is no reality!

For the past        300-some years, the world has been under the impression that everything        is made up of atoms, “the building blocks of the universe.”        It was the great Isaac Newton who solidified our impression that atoms        were like billiard balls. Pile enough of them on top of each other, set        them in motion and you get rocks, trees, animals and people.

But in 1900        Albert Einstein’s hero, the brilliant Max Planck, revealed some incredibly        disturbing discoveries he made while trying to solve problems concerning        the radiation of energy.To make a long story short, Planck was forced        to conclude that matter at its most fundamental level is not continuous,        not solid. There are no tiny billiard balls. When you break down an atom,        you get an electron, a proton and maybe a neutron. But it turns out these        are not the smallest units either. You can break things down further to        bosons, quarks, W particles, tachyons and a lot of other shadowy “things”        that just sort of wink in and out of existence.

Where do        things go when they “wink out?” Nowhere! They cease to exist!        Then they come back again.

So what?        you might ask.

Well, as        you know, the human body is made up from the fundamental elements of nature.        We are mostly water, but we also have iron in our blood, calcium in our        bones, and such. But each of those substances are made up of individual        atoms, which in turn are made up of ghostly bits of nothing that just        sort of come and go, in and out of reality.

Scientists        call this blinking process “quantum fluctuation.”So when the        elements of your body fluctuate, so does your body, and so do you! So        does you brain and the chemicals in your brain! In fact, you may be in        a state of nothingness more often than you are in a state of somethingness        (even though there really is no somethingness!). As the currently popular        medical guru Deepak          Chopra points out, all of us our dead (nonexistent) for much of        the time, yet we are all constantly afraid of dying, not realizing we        are dead much of the time! (Oh by the way, there’s no such thing        as time either. Einstein          proved it was an illusion, but we won’t get into that right now).

Even at its        most solid state, the atom turns out to be not very solid at all. Atoms        are 99.999999 empty space. If the nucleus of an atom were the size of        a ping-pong ball, and if you were to place it in the center of a large        football stadium, the electrons that orbit around the nucleus would be        at the outer walls of the stadium.

What is between        the nucleus and the electron? Nothing! And what are the nucleus and electron        made from? Smaller and smaller bits of energy which are not solid, but        actually whirling fragments of light.Even a block of solid lead is nothing        and light, acting as “something.” So is your car. So are the        chemicals in your brain. So are you.Once during a long, boring drive from        Grand Forks to southern Missouri with one of my graduate school professors,        we became embroiled in a lengthy debate about the deep issues of the universe.        I argued that all was illusion, and he argued for solid reality.

When I mentioned        the unreal nature of fundamental particles, he said: “That makes        no difference! All this means is that these flucuating bits of energy        are what we are made out of — but we are still us, still the same,        still real solid people. Are your saying is that we are more fundamental        than atoms.” He also said: “If I whacked you with a baseball        bat, I bet your pain wouldn’t feel like an illusion!”

At the time,        I was stumped to answer because that was before I understood the nature        — or more accurately — the mechanics of illusion. I didn’t        realize that even our argument was an illusion! The fact is, my professor        and I could have argued for years on end and neither of us would have        convinced the other because BOTH of our aurguments were false! Why? Because        neither of our arguments exist! The fact is, language is one of the primary        ways in which we become deceived into believing in solid reality. Once        a creature reaches the stage where it can manipulate symbolic language,        you can bet that creature is deeply buried under many layers of illusion.        I also should have quoted the Uncertainty Principle and the Incompleteness        Theorm to my professor.

You see,        the idea that language is all illusion is not a simple belief, but a fact        which has been proved mathematically. Back in the 1920s, a German math        genius by the name of Kurt Godel produced a rigorous mathematical demonstration        which showed that all logic was ultimately self contradictory. Godel’s        proof is known as Godel’s Theorm, but also as the Incompleteness        Theorm. It states this: “It is impossible to to establish the logical        consistency of any complex deductive system except by assuming principles        of reasoning whose own internal consistency is an open question as that        of the system itself.”

Whew! That’s        just a fancy way of saying that, no matter what your viewpoint —        it’s wrong! You will never be able to convince someone of what you        believe because all rhetoric is, by nature, fundamentally inconsistent.

That’s        why arguing politics and religion is so frustrating — no one is ever        right, literally! All arguments are rigged from the start!

But there’s        even more bad news for reality. It’s called the Heisenbreg Uncertainty        principle, suggested and later proved by one of the fathers of quantum        mechanics, the great Werner Heisenberg. His principle states: “The        position and the velocity of an object cannot both be measured exactly,        at the same time, not even in theory. The very concepts of exact position        and exact velocity together, in fact, have no meaning in nature.”        What this means is that physical objects cannot be pinned down to absolutely        exist in any one place at any given time. Like Godel’s Theorm, this        principle comes with a rigorous mathemetical proof.So not only are all        verbal arugments fundamentally inconsistent, and therefore false, but        physical matter ultimately cannot be measured.

As one physicist        put it:

“Our        conception of substance is only vivid so long as we do not face it. It       ��begins to fade when we analyze it … the solid substance of things        is another illusion … we have chased the solid substance from the        continuous liquid to the atom, from the atom to the electron, and there        we have lost it.”

The        Strangest Path to Happiness

You might        ask: How does knowing that you don’t exist help you with your daily        troubles? Well, in fact, it helps a lot. Indeed, this knowledge can lead        you to an extreme state of happiness, even bliss.

How? By getting        to work at realizing that you are buried under many layers of very tricky,        persistent illusions, which because of their mathematical inconsistency,        are driving you nuts! It seems like you can never find ultimate truth,        true peace and the purest of love becaue you are trying to get these things        under the false assumption that they exist in some real way.

They don’t.        And neither does pain, suffering and worry. The greater degree to which        you become aware that you and your world is all sticky illusion, the greater        your feeling of being happy, loving and truthful will become. Why this        is so becomes plain when we give a more conventional example of how illusions        cause pain.

We all know        someone who has mistaken money for what money represents, or mistaken        money for happiness. Money itself is just paper, a symbol which rerpresents        material goods. Some people fall under the illusion that money is an end        it itself, so they mindlessly persue more and more of the green stuff        until they have a heart attack and die. All would agree it’s good        to be free of the illusion of money and materialism. Well, as it turns        out, the more illusions we get rid of, the better off we are.

Getting rid        of illusions like money, drugs and sex addictions is easy compared to        getting rid of major illusions like death, time, language, and physical        existence, but it’s far from impossible.

I should        warn you also, that the more you try to achieve happiness, the worse off        you’re likely to get because happiness is an illusory concept which        does not exist. You’ll get very frustrated, although frustration        does not exist either. Sorry. So it’s better to work on getting rid        of illusions themselves and let the rest take care of itself.

The brilliant        psychologist-philospher-author Ken Wilber describes seven layers of illusion        in his groundbreaking book, The          Spectrum of Consciousness. In this book, Wilber takes you step        by step through the kind of illusions human are trapped within, from Nothing        to the deepest layer of illusion, which he calls “dualisms.”The        more you understand the nature of illusions, the various kinds of illusions,        (especially language, time, the separation of objects in space) the more        likely you are to find your way out.

This is what        Zen and other forms of meditation are about — to get you to stop        thinking so that the ultimate silence of the greater reality of Nothing        can be realized.

But as any        Zen master would warn you, the minute you start thinking that Zen meditation        is going to help you, or that the Zen philosophy is going to help you,        or any philosophy or any religion — in that assumption you get lost        again!

What’s        truly weird about illusion is that you have to use illusions to get rid        of them, and it’s hard describe how this gets done. Remember Godel’s        Theorm: all arugments based in language are fundamentally inconsistent,        and therefore, just more traps. Even what you are reading here right now        is a trap, though this article strives to point out the fact that you        are trapped by illusions! But I think it’s at least better to know        you’re in jail, than being in jail and thinking this prison we call        “life” is our true home.

Some might        say: “Okay, but it’s better to exist as an illusion that suffers        than to be nothing at all!” So let me throw you this bone: The big        Nothing scientists and philosophers speak of is not so much the complete        lack of anything, as it is a singularity of pure Virtual Potential. It        does not exist, but has the potential to exist if it wants to. It’s        Nothing, but a kind of dynamic Nothing. Whatever. Words and labels are        tricky.

But the reason        you have the illusion of being, along with its joy and suffering —        you want it. At the same time, you can have the bliss of realizing Infinite        Potential without the suffering of the illusion of objective existence.        In fact, this is your condition right now. You just don’t know it.        It’s weird. A lot of people who read this article are going to say:        “Jeez! What a load of utter nonsense!” And guess what? They’re        right!

[ericplusmoser]

April 11th Selfie 2019! BIRTHDAY SHOUT-OUT! HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the one and only sorry @kingricochet for using your catch phrase lol! But she is the one and only person who have created new. I dont count the other half because he is a low life POS which my mother proudly allows me to feel my own feeling towards him. Even when I say I cant wait until the day the police come knocking on my door saying 'are you Wilber Colon's son? We have bad news?" It isnt bad news but she respect how I feel even if she disagrees with how I am feeling. She is the best mother I could ask for. Not saying she is better than yours or she is better then anyone else but she is the best mother for me. She taught me how to be independent, how to be myself and never change because someone dislikes something. I could you tell you stories how people would say something about the crocs I wore or something but I didn't care because I loved crocs and I love how i dress for me. My mother put that faith in me not to give one damn cent of a negative reactions. However I do care about what a family member or a close friend thinks because that love is unbreakable. A tiny bit of my mom, sibling, uncle, aunt (you know who you are ✂️, @Oprah and Vince McMahon! My mother is everything to me! One of the very few parental guidance I have in my life so I wish her a VERY happy birthday and I will take you to the best RESTAURANT in the world aka @federalrestaurant to have a birthday/mother days dinner! I hope you had a amazing day today! Love your 'Problem Child' Eric Roman Moser! 😘💜🎞 https://www.instagram.com/p/BwJBQJCJxHJ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1cu77q63bxa5h

[wilbers-journey]

The Meet Up After The Blue Line 

So, I laid in bed that night with a few F bombs still spinning through my head but equally thinking I AM PREGNANT. 

How?! Ok so let’s be straight - I know how the birds and the bees work but I’ve not been able to get pregnant for a lot of years. 

Having attended a consultation regarding a hysterectomy, I had begun to come to terms with the fact I wouldn’t ever have any more children. At that very appointment, it was also revealed that my right ovary was stuck to my womb through adhesions from the endometriosis. I was in a lot of pain and the thought of being free from that is what mattered most at that time.

 Then somehow I’ve had super sperm walk into my life. A month on from that appointment we had a bit of woopy 3 times without a condom and hey presto - there’s a baby. WOW a baby! A real one inside of me! It was an overwhelming feeling. I knew from my cycle and which woopy created this miracle baby. October the 15th 2017 to be precise. 

Then the excitement started. “I’m gonna be a mum again!” It’s what I’d wanted for so long. 

Then serious thoughts started of  “Tam you’re no spring chicken, your a bit of porker and could do with dropping a few pounds…You’re coming up for 38, you’d be classed as a geriatric mum and your last pregnancy was 20 years ago!” Jesus Christ I don’t do things by half’s do I?! A 20 year age gap!! 

So then my mind is rushing  - “will I cope? Am I too old? I’m definitely selfish and love my sleep!” The thoughts were endless. My mind was in over drive. BUT…

I also knew in the bottom of my heart, that I wanted this baby more than ever and there was no question in my mind of not going through this pregnancy. I was going to do my best to love this life inside of me, nurture and protect it, bring he/she up and be the best mum I could be. 

That meant with or without Mark.

So my mind set - I went to see Mark! I wanted to listen to how he felt about it all, as well as being honest with him about how I felt. 

Remember we’d been together 3 months 😬…

Mark, in normal Mark style,  just said ���we will be fine and we will get through it!” 

I thought…

“Okay, I’ve laid in bed all night making 1001 scenarios up in my head and daddy cool sitting there is cool as a cucumber!” 

Mark you’re amazing never forget that 😘

So what next?? 

Because of my endometriosis history I would be high risk of having an eptopic pregnancy, so I needed to get an early scan to make sure the pregnancy was where it was supposed to be.

 I called EPAU and they said to see them. We got to EPAU on the day we were required to go and went into a room, completed the necessary paperwork, had a chat and then it was scan time.

I hadn’t even thought at all about what would happen or how? Scans are done on your tummy aren’t they? 

Oh no…not this time! I was so early into my pregnancy that they could not scan me abominably. So… My boyfriend of 3 months gets to see me naked from the waste down, laying on a bed, legs a kimbo and watch the scan lady put a condom on the scanning wand and insert into my vagina…  #awkward 

Glad she didn’t say is it in yet?! 

You wouldn’t take a new boyfriend to watch you have a smear test would you?! Well this is how it felt; I was embarrassed, flustered and awkward. So to get me through - I just kept thinking “think of the baby!” It got me through thank goodness. I’m glad now it happened that way as vaginal scans were to be for my next three scans. 

The location of my pregnancy was where it needed to be so that little egg got into my womb and made itself at home. What a relief this geriatric mum to be was moving in the right direction. The little circle you could see had a yolk sac in and was measuring 5 weeks. Exactly to my period dates. 

The little sacks nickname was then called pebble as it look like a tiny pebble and Marks last name is stone. WE’RE HAVING A BABY!We’ve seen it, it’s real! We’re actually doing this 💗 

Thank you if you’ve read this far. Please feedback to me on here or Instagram on Wilbers Journey page.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

A member of Trump's cabinet rocked slippers that cost at least $495 because why not?

In Donald Trump's America, you really don't have to think twice before wearing ridiculously expensive velvet slippers to a presidential address.

Just ask recently confirmed Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross, 79, who is believed to have donned a pair of Stubbs & Wootton smoking slippers customized with the Department of Commerce's emblem to hear Trump speak on Tuesday night.

Snazzy, eh?

SEE ALSO: New 'Tiny Trumps' meme has flooded the internet big time

Now, you may be asking yourself, "Who pays more than like $50 for a good pair of slippers, let alone $495 to $650?"

Wilbur Ross does.

newly-confirmed Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross wore a pair of slippers to Trump's address, which is a very cute old man thing to do pic.twitter.com/E7zyFfgBoQ

— Haley Byrd (@byrdinator) March 1, 2017

they're good slippers pic.twitter.com/ayX1rlKaS2

— Haley Byrd (@byrdinator) March 1, 2017

A photograph posted to Twitter by reporter Christina Wilkie shows the many steps Ross may have taken to create his fly, IDGAF kicks on the Stubbs & Wootton website, and boy, it must be interesting to be a billionaire. The "bespoke" options for men range from $525 to $650. 

Commerce Sec. Wilbur Ross wore $600 slippers by Palm Beach @Stubbs_Wootton, with a custom Commerce Dept logo, to Trump’s speech tonight. pic.twitter.com/Be0apnEUkx

— Christina Wilkie (@christinawilkie) March 1, 2017

To many, including Sen. Elizabeth Warren, it seemed absurd that one would wear slippers to a pretty important event ... or even outside of the house for that matter. And it crossed some minds that perhaps a person with so much money should be putting it toward something more worthwhile?

.@CommerceGov nominee Wilbur Ross is practically a cartoon stereotype of a Wall Street fat cat with no interest in anyone but himself.

— Elizabeth Warren (@SenWarren) February 27, 2017

Newly confirmed Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross is wearing a pair of black felt slippers. Like you would wear with a bathrobe wut

— Joe Perticone (@JoePerticone) March 1, 2017

Hmm....talk about comfort, we go from Kelly w/heels on the couch yesterday to Ross wearing $600 slippers to Trump's speech tonight. #Resist https://t.co/FUGqPFGJwE

— Bell Bell (@BellEarline) March 1, 2017

I did not know this was a thing. https://t.co/pIUWMLp9fx

— David Fahrenthold (@Fahrenthold) March 1, 2017

monocles, top hats & spats: you're on deck https://t.co/tJFUF7JSAA

— Brett Hamil (@BrettHamil) March 1, 2017

It did not seem strange to Ross, however. And in fact, the man, somewhat of a slipper aficionado, has worn velvety shoes on other occasions. But hey, it should be noted that some people respected his extreme fashion statement ... kind of.

The $600 slipper sector of our economy finally has a champion! https://t.co/KHuUfa8SJ6

— Frank Randazz (@FrankRandazz) March 1, 2017

I want some Wilber Ross Dept. of Commerce slippers.... pic.twitter.com/wCO6qfMYXo

— Col. Elliott (@Col_Elliott) March 1, 2017

There's an office motion, inspired by Wilbur Ross, to make every day slipper day. Hey, Mark Zuckerberg had his hoodie...why NOT slippers?!

— Cindy Perman (@CindyPerman) March 1, 2017

Don’t criticize until you walk a mile in Ross’s $500 slippers. https://t.co/uQGNK2CGjc

— Matt Kelly (@compliancememe) March 1, 2017

Who knows, maybe the fashion statement will catch on in Washington.

There are certainly some great slipper options Trump might like for himself, including this green velvet line that would let him display his love for, "money, money, money, money."

Image: screengrab: stubbs and wootton

Only time will tell.

BONUS: Behold, the Trump mask.

[blookmallow]

ok the world is Exhausting right now so i think its time i did an Animal of the Day for my FAV animal.......ive been savin this one bc i knew id get distracted looking at them for like 3 hours 

are u ready

today’s animal is

GUINEA PIGS

note!!! guinea pigs are not hamsters!!

hamsters are Small Tiny and have lil nub tails 

their ears stick up and they can hold stuff in their lil paws and sit like a squirrel

guinea pigs r bigger and have no tails at all!! their ears tend to go down and they don’t generally use their paws to hold stuff/don’t sit up like a squirrel 

they make LOTS OF DIFFERENT NOISES they love to talk. they r Very squeaky

here is a pig doin squeaks

here is a more in depth video about what different pig sounds mean

me too 

(im pretty sure this is from glitterpiggies?? rly A+ guinea pig blog follow them)

sO LOVELY! (this one is definitely glitterpiggies) 

baby piggos can see and run around on their own v quickly after they’re born!! they don’t have a weird lil pink blob phase like mice do

exclusive image of me @ my house

this is my picture of my current pig daisy (technically she’s my sister’s) falling asleep by my laptop 

this was. actually from like a few years ago but w/e

here she is investigating the Mysterious Blanket

my First Ever Pig was named wilber and he was Very Big and had the weirdest coloring ive ever seen 

featuring baby me and my brother too but??? this pig had a perfect line where his fur changed color he was exactly half tan and half white

the fluffiest jelly bean.....

some pigs are FANCY and have very very long fur. these ones r very difficult to keep clean. i had one once but her fur was not This long. her name was oreo she was Big too

who is she

some pigs have no hair at all they concern me a lil bit 

this is another kind of fance fur pig these r called abyssinians!! i had one when i was little that was all brown. her name was sniffles 

this is what we in the scientific community refer to as a fuzzbean

HAIL TO THE KING 

this looks like a smooch but im pretty sure they probably were fighting over food

THIS IS SO MANY!!!!!!!!! IM YELLIN

me

nOMPH

graceful

i could literally post guinea pig pictures all day go to my tag for more pigs :’)