#time and the human mind

[ruporas]

dragon meat, you, and me

[silliestballbreakerfourteen100]

they all share one single thought!! so so silly

[apollos-olives]

before october 7th this blog was a meme page btw.

[carolinemillerbooks]

New Post has been published on Books by Caroline Miller

New Post has been published on https://www.booksbycarolinemiller.com/musings/the-time-travelers/

The Time Travelers

My branch bank was closing.  The nearest location was three miles away. I don’t own a car so the distance was significant.   Needing to learn how to make future deposits, I stopped by the office to learn about options.     The acting manager greeted me with a smile and waved me into her office as I entered.  Except for the clerk at the reception desk, we were alone.  Sliding into the plastic chair she indicated, I noted her desktop was clear, except for a phone, and a computer, beside which sat a notepad and a glass jar crammed with multicolored pens. She splayed her fingers across the walnut surface as she sat opposite me, her eyes wide with anticipation. No doubt, I was a welcome distraction in an otherwise hum-drum day.  I noted she was young, barely a year or two beyond her teens with a smile that left no wrinkles at the corners of her upturned mouth.   A distance of 70 years stretched between us, I guessed.   When I told her why I’d come, she looked relieved.  “Check deposits? That’s easy.”  She chirped out a couple of choices.  With a debit card, I could make deposits at any ATM. Or, if I preferred, the app on my smartphone would perform the same magic.   She might as well have been speaking in Swahili.  “I have neither a debit card nor a smartphone,” I explained.  “What I want is a mailing address for my deposits” The woman behind the desk took in a sharp breath as if I’d shoved a knife between her ribs.  “Mail deposits?  We don’t accept those.”     I frowned.  She was speaking Swahili again. “Are you sure?  Things can’t have changed that much.  Could  you check with the head office?” A pair of youthful shoulders shrugged– a sign designed to discourage me.  Nonetheless, the young woman picked up the phone and dialed a number.  I held my breath while it rang.  A brief exchange followed between the caller and a voice somewhere in the ether. At last, the woman seated opposite me hung up, turning a pair of owlish eyes in my direction.   “ I had no idea we did mail deposits  No one’s ever asked.”  She tore a page from her notepad and wrote down a P. O Box number which she handed to me.   Leaving the office with a light step, I was glad I had persevered. Even so, I sensed a pair of blue eyes at my back as I exited.  No doubt the twenty-something person I’d left behind thought I was a relic that needed to be stored in a box in the bowels of the Smithsonian. She might be right.  Time is a tricky thing. In the everyday world, it moves at the speed of light in a single direction.  But time in the human brain is flexible. My thoughts can take me backward and forward in history. The same is true for my young banker. The difference between us is that she lives in the violet spectrum of now, while I and my memories have decayed into the red zone.  We are creatures of the same universe, yet she and I exist in dissimilar energy fields.  The laws of physics decree that when different fields can be described by the same mathematical structure, rapid advancement of knowledge takes place in which the two fields cross-fertilize.   So it was with the young woman and me that afternoon.  I saw her as limited in knowledge. She, no doubt, saw me as obsolete. Even so, by the time we parted from one another, we were both wiser.  Youth and age are frequently out of tune with each other, the way classical physics and the quantum world appear to conflict.  Call it an atonal harmony, the kind the gravitational force field makes when it suffers a disruption and sets the universe to humming.  I think of that humming as the music of a higher order. If humans were to penetrate the deepest secrets of that harmony, where would they take us? We saw the effects of harnessing nuclear power. It ended World War II and gave us clean energy.  But it also helped to deplete the ozone layer, raise global temperatures, and hasten the effects of global warming. The mind is a terrible thing to waste, yet curiosity comes with a price. We embrace Neurotech devices that measure metabolic functions to retain good health, but surveillance capitalism, like nuclear energy, has a downside. At any time, our private information can be made public. China, for example, requires some workers to wear EEG sensors to monitor their productivity and emotional states. Can we be sure the demand for brain transparency won’t one day deny us the right to private thoughts?    Advances in Artificial Intelligence (AI) have led some theorists to speculate that one-day homeo sapiens might become obsolete.  Bionics are already widely accepted. Pacemakers are common as are artificial joints, cochlear implants, and intraocular lenses.  This evolution has come softly on cat paws and with each progression we blur the line between robots and humans.  My young banker knew nothing about mail deposits, having no historical memory. In the future, will it be the same with our acceptance of robot technology? And should AI become sentient how will we view our creation? With fear? Or,  in our quest for eternal life, will we download our memories into an avatar? Should we choose to merge with robots, will we still be human? What will become of our unconscious minds? Will we dream?

[astearisms]

part of a sadness

[baeshijima]

thoughts on being engaged to duke!sunday, the head of the oak family, an incredibly influential figurehead within society, the close subordinate of emperor gopher wood who brought him and his sister in and raised him like his own, and the villain who faces a tragic ending in a novel you recently finished — the very same one you just so happen to find yourself transmigrated into. he is as cunning as he is blinded, a trait which brought ruin to many in the empire, and one which ultimately brought ruin to himself at the hands of the protagonists.

as luck would have it, you became a barely mentioned side character from a marquis family, whose role was to be the villain's wife stuck in a one-sided love who, too, would get caught up in the tragedy alongside him. however, now that it's you who is stuck in this position, you're determined to try any means necessary to deter him from going down that path, all in an effort to escape your predestined doomed fate!

of course, you didn't expect it to be easy. the day of your arrival in this world was already the night before your wedding, so you had little time to prepare yourself for the nonchalance of your supposed family, how they viewed you as but a means — a tool — to boost their influence and prosperity, the dismissive mannerisms of the household servants, and the absolute beauty of a man you will be married to.

(seriously. the novel descriptions did not do him justice. he was like... like... like he was handcrafted by god himself! and not to mention his sister, robin, was the very epitome of an angel! perhaps you're destined to perish by the god-tier visuals instead...)

to say the least, the wedding ceremony went by quickly. safe to say you didn't spend the night; he was cordial and gentlemanly upon letting you know that he won't do anything until you're ready, that you can take this relationship slow, but somehow you ended up feeling a tad insulted. like, who leaves their newly wedded alone in a big cold bed as they walk out on their own? a sick bastard that's who!

well, whatever. it's not like you need nor want to consummate with him! besides, you have bigger things to worry about — things such as your impending death. and, of course, the only way to stop sunday that you can imagine working is by chipping away at his resolve bit by bit, and opening his eyes to reality.

he is a tragic character, one who cares more about the well-being of penacony and its people than anyone else, but was manipulated into getting his hands dirty in the emperor's stead. you knew this. you sobbed over his story, cursed out the protagonists, and even fought internet randos on novel forums about sunday's motivation and how,

no, he is not just a stupid villain. he is a complex character with flaws and humanity and was cruelly taken advantage of by someone he considered family. he was deceived through the suffering the emperor wanted him to see to make him easily manipulated, creating a rift between him and robin to have that prominent separation. you know what? maybe you're just a !%#@ who can't even #@?"% read properly!

and yet you still find yourself at a loss when faced with the walls he has in place. your initial efforts went as well as it possibly could have; you trying to earnestly help him, while he "kindly" dismisses your offers! well, "kindly" being more condescending since you could read between the lines of his mannerisms and amiable demeanour, but that's fine! you expected this! that just means you have to double down on your sincerity, get through to his heart (somehow), and help him realise humanity isn't as weak as he's led to believe!

you have three years until the novel's plot officially starts, and another year after that until your demise. that's plenty of time to get him to warm up to you!

it was easier said than done, but after your valiant effort and abundance of time put into this relationship, which admittedly you could do with some of that lost time back, you could give yourself a pat on the back with the progress you made! while you definitely could have done without a lot of the headaches, it's safe to say sunday has significantly warmed up to you in comparison to your wedding day. he now willingly eats all his meals with you with some real conversation, takes garden strolls with you in the early evenings, invites you out for dinner at a restaurant at least four times a week, hell he's even joked and laughed with you more frequently! but most importantly, he has begun asking for your opinion before finalising any decisions he is required to make. and he actually listens and considers your side! now, that certainly is the best outcome you could hope for after all this time, and it most definitely will help in your endeavour to save you both from the protagonists!

however, you've noticed he's been more... affectionate? well, at the very least he now willingly holds your hand when in private (not just in moments when you're in the public eye and he has to make sure the family's reputation is spotless), sometimes he will hug you out of the blue ("i just need to... recharge. you have a way of calming me down. i hope you don't mind." ...how could you say no to his supreme god-tier face card? that's just a losing battle you won't even bother fighting against.), oftentimes he opts to just gaze wordlessly at you (robin had mentioned over one of your tea times how it almost appears as though there is no one but you in the world when sunday gazes at you with, in her words, "the eyes of a man so deeply in love!" ...whatever that's supposed to mean...), but a more recent development has been his sudden interest in kissing you; well, more specifically giving you a kiss to the back of your hand or on your forehead — certainly not anywhere near the lips! (besides, he's probably just gotten comfortable with you, enough where he can freely act without judgement. nothing more, nothing less.)

well, either way, development is development! soon enough, the time for the main plot to start has arrived. it of course follows what you remember, from the organised balls to the protagonists meeting to the political aspects of it all. the only difference is sunday's less active involvement in all the schemes and the emperor's ploy. rather, he seems more focused on you and the future of your marriage and even displayed a sudden interest in your practically non-existent relationship with one of the foreign diplomats, aventurine— wait...

"[name]," he calls your name out so sweetly you nearly disregarded it as someone else he was talking to. well, perhaps you would have done had he not suddenly appeared before you, a tight-lipped smile tugging the corners of his lips as he steadily approaches you.

oh. he doesn't seem very happy, if his tense figure is anything to go by. you wonder if one of the nobles grated his nerves a little too much this time?

sunday comes to a halt a step away from you. "i don't like that... gambler being so close to you. it... it brings me a rather unpleasant feeling." there's a slight, trembling pause. not a moment later does he close the gap between you, one knee on the ground as he matches your seated height on the fountain rim, your hands gently enclosed in both of his.

you idly wonder if this is what robin meant by the so-called "eyes of a man so deeply in love" she constantly gushed about, for the way in which he gazes up at you is enough to render you breathless.

"tell me, [name]," he begins once more. there is an underlying desperation woven within his tone, one which has your head spinning and heart thumping wildly as his trembling gaze holds you in place. "tell me, what am i to do with this fervent love and overwhelming adoration i hold for you?"

oh.

...oh.

perhaps your impending doom should be the least of your concerns when you now find yourself in the arms of a clingy husband...

(though, it's safe to say you did, in fact, manage to prevent him from succumbing to his tragic fate! you just gained a loving, yet slight slightly emotionally challenged husband along the way.

well, you can help him work through it; you have the rest of your lives now to figure it out, after all.)

[s0up1ta]

i hate them so much

[jimjamjomjum]

The parallels between these two haunt me.

[demaparbat-hp]

Izumi (steambaby) sketches.

[luthienne]

anyway literally everyone is going through something all the time!!! everyone is wounded!!! everyone is human & no one makes it out of this life unscathed!! maybe try approaching people in good faith instead of always defaulting to the worst possible interpretations of each other

[that-wildwolf]

hey, remember being 18 years old and playing mass effect for the first time and it's got this like intense aura of being very small and very insignificant in a very big, very empty galaxy? remember playing mass effect for the first time and everything all of this is so new and mysterious, and it's 2am and you're sitting in a dark room in the light from your tv and you're playing through feros for the first time and you feel that this is someting very old and very ancient and you are somewhere you shouldn't be and you don't know what's going to happen or where you're going but you keep on. there's a tingling in your stomach and you're playing mass effect for the first time. the thorian is a milennia old sentient plant being. the rachni queen is old and telepathic and a hive mind and in pain. sovereign is an ancient machine that has not been built but is, and has always been, and this is something so alien and so unlike and beyond anything your human mind can comprehend, and this is something unexplainable and huge and as uncaring and indifferent as the empty galaxy around you. you're playing mass effect for the first time and you're walking on the surface of an almost completely empty planet with nothing but your two companions silently walking beside you and everything is so huge and empty and silent and you're so small and insignificant and it's so beautiful and so scary and you feel like you are on a rollercoaster about to drop down. you are playing mass effect for the first time and you're playing the mission on the moon and you stop and just look up at earth visible in the sky. you know this. this is home. you are playing mass effect for the first time, and the galaxy is so big, and you are so tiny, and everything is about to change for you.

[kaiserouo]

"Huh."

[wizard-legs]

Thank you @rjiprefhwo for letting me draw the video you made on my god I’m still in tears it’s so real

[ruporas]

feast (ID in alt)

[theribbonmarkedroom]

Prediction 🧠 + Finn and Jake + a Fionna doodle I did last week

[ehhgg-art]

you ever think about the fact that laios won not by being a monster but by being human.

monsters as we’ve seen throughout the manga are predictable, they have this rhythm to them that, once someone understands, can be used to take them out. take kelpies like anne where laios states that she is just a monster and cannot be trusted. even kensuke is “just a monster after all”, running away from danger when laios needs it most. kensuke is beloved by laios not just because he is a monster, but because laios, in human fashion, anthropomorphized him in his mind (giving him a name, etc.)

but people are different. they are multifaceted, non-monolithic creatures. long lived races are not all pious and apathetic towards short lived races as we see with marcille and senshi. chilchuck actively works against the prejudice against half-foots. tallmen from every region have their cultural differences as we see with shuro and laios/falin. even “demi-humans” like orcs have depth to them, having rich culture and values despite the general idea that they are a violent pillaging race.

even laios’ family and village, the nexus point for his dislike of people, have depth to them. though their parents did not actively protect their children, they did not wish harm on them either. the exorcisms performed on falin by their mother was harmful in laios’ eyes, but helpful in his mother’s perspective.

laios himself, despite loving monsters and hating humans, is so very painfully human. he hates humans but has risked life and literal limb to save his sister and his party. he loves monsters but is aware of their dangerous nature and spares them no mercy.

(big spoilers under the cut)

the winged lion mistook laios as a one dimensional entity, one which only operates on a one track mind without paradox. it thought laios to operate like a monster, and so it approached his desires like one. it believed that laios, being so obsessed with monsters, must behave like one as well, so completely disregarded the fact that laios could have something up his sleeve.

but laios is not a monster, he is human. he has ulterior motives, overlapping beliefs, contradicting values. it is his humanness that made him explain to his party what to do when things went awry. it is his humanness that allowed him to lie. lie to the world about his true plan as well as lie to the winged lion about his intentions.

sure laios WANTS to be a monster, that much is definitely true. but what he IS is a different story. laios is an unpredictable, sporadic, messy human being. it is that fact which the winged lion overlooked, and ultimately led to its downfall and laios’ victory.