#tildamir

[meteors-lotr]

Legolas: I’m going to boil your nose! Tilda: Oh yeah? Then I’m gonna grate your eyes! Legolas: I hope worms crawl through your ears! Tilda: How about the fact that I stab your tongue so you shut up? Gimli: Afraid to ask, but what's going o? Boromir: They had a fight but Aragorn banned them from swearing in front of Geralt Geralt: I've just following them around wherever they go so they have to continue fighting like this

[meteor752]

The thing with Tildamir (Tilda X Boromir, if you don’t follow my lotr side blog then you’d be confused by it, but check it out @meteors-lotr) is that, Tilda is a slut by nature so everything she does, she does with the intent to turn someone on. It’s just second nature to her at this point, like the way she walks, eats, fights, everything is very deliberate to be as hot as possible.

But the moment Boromir does something to turn her on, Tilda will short circuit completely

[meteors-lotr]

Tilda: Once I figure out how to undoom him from the narrative the wedding is BACK ON

[meteors-lotr]

Bain: So what did you all do on your recent dates? Tauriel: Sigrid and I hiked a mountain to watch the sunset from the top Legolas: Aragorn and I went to a Renaissance fair Arwen: Wyn took me for a picnic in the woods Tilda: Tilda: I made Boromir come grave robbing with me

[meteors-lotr]

Boromir: Why didn’t you tell me that you were on a domestic terrorist watch list? Tilda, playing with her hair and giggling: I’m shy…

[meteors-lotr]

Tilda: My mother is dead to me. Boromir: What’d she do? Tilda: Die

[meteors-lotr]

Barduil fam ship height differences

I’m a sucker for some differing heights bois

Bard: 5’9

Thranduil: 6’5

Height difference: Seven inches

Legolas: 6’1

Aragorn: 5’11

Height difference: Two inches

Sigrid: 6’0

Tauriel: 5’8

Height difference: Four inches

Bain: 6’3

Kamarind: 6’6

Vivian 6’2

Height difference: Three, one, and four inches

Tilda: 5’4

Boromir: 5’10

Height difference: Six inches

[meteors-lotr]

Legolas: Boromir, I know you love Tilda. I mean, it’s understandable; she's not that bad of a person, and her gut and spirit is respectable. Boromir: Legolas: But I think she's a fucking idiot.

[meteors-lotr]

Boromir: Whenever Tilda is mad at me, I go and tighten the lids of all the jars, so she has to come to me for help. *sounds of glass breaking in the background* Boromir: It hasn't worked yet, but it'll happen.

[meteors-lotr]

Tilda: I’m not sorry for acting weird. It will happen again and you’re just going to have to deal with it Boromir: … I- Legolas: There are so many other options, please don’t pick her

[meteors-lotr]

Tilda: No. If something happens to Boromir then I would get Geralt, right? Aragorn: Ummm…actually. Tilda: Actually, what? Legolas: It’s just that in THAT case then he would go to Arwen and Éowyn. Tilda: What?!? Gimli: Who has to die for me to get him? Tilda: So, if Bori’s not around, I’m not good enough to raise your son? Legolas: No! That’s not what we’re saying. Tilda: What is wrong with me? Am I incompetent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!

[meteors-lotr]

Boromir: Yeah we like to finishing each other's- Tilda: sentences Boromir: Will you please stop cutti- Tilda: cutting you off Boromir: I know you're trying to help and all, it's just it's starting to g- Tilda: get on your nerves Boromir: Why do couples do- Tilda: do this Boromir: God make it- Tikda: make it stop, can't Bori, everyone has to know we are dating! Boromir: All they see is me looking really annoyed at you Sigrid: In that case, I guess we're all dating Tilda

[meteors-lotr]

I think eomer and tilda should team up and kill their partners abusive dad

It is a little funny, cause like Èomer and Tilda just do not get along, like they don’t vibe at all, and mostly bring out the worst in each other, but like they fully would form a temporary truce in order to fucking murder Denethor

[meteors-lotr]

Boromir: I would like to let you know that Tilda and I are in a relationship. Legolas: *gasp* Aragorn: *gasp* Faramir: *gasp* Tilda: *gasp* Boromir: Tilly, why are you surprised? Tilda: Sorry, I still can't believe it.

[meteors-lotr]

Tilda: Yeah I once knew a guy from Gondor, the previous steward actually. I called him a little bitch

Boromir: Huh that's weird. My dad was the previous steward, and he once got called a little bitch by some girl

Tilda: Huh, weird

Boromir:

Tilda:

Boromir

Tilda:

Both: WAIT A MINUTE-

LMAO YEAH BASICALLY

They dumbasses with three braincell, and Boromir owns all of them

Also should I have submissions on?

[meteors-lotr]

Just remembered that in the canon of my au Tilda and Denethor have met. Not only that, but Tilda has called him a ‘stupid cunt bitch’, and just generally cursed him out.

So I can imagine that conversation was fun, Tilda mentioning that she’d met the previous steward of Gondor and that he’d been a cunt, and Boromir saying like “yeah that was my dad” and Tilda spitting out her water