#til I got into bed and was like. powder. it’s powder.

[theloveinc]

What should I make today?

[tootiecakes234]

Katsuki’s birthday

“Katsuki Bakugo, if your ass isn’t ready in the next 15 minutes, you’re gonna be sleeping at Eijirou’s house the rest of the week cuz you WONT be allowed in this house!” You tell him with pointed look.

“I told you, you shitty woman, that I don’t want to go to some stupid birthday brunch. I want to stay home and I want YOU to cook for me while I do nothing. It’s my fucking birthday.” He shouts back.

“But that’s what we did last year! And the year before that!” You try reasoning with him.

“Yeah it’s called tradition” he says even as he stands up and starts walking over to his closet.

“Well, love muffin, traditions were meant to be broken.” You go up to him and place a kiss on his cheek.

“What the hell ever. I’m not paying for a damn thing and I’m ordering the most expensive thing they have on this stupid menu. Don’t forget your purse.” He grumbles.

You’re dressed in a nice spring dress that’s a flower pattern and all flowy. You look so adorable and then you see Katsuki and hot damn! You forget how good this man looks when he’s not in a black t shirt and joggers. Not that he doesn’t look hot as hell in that but he looks edible right now all dressed up.

“Damn big man, you got a lady. If you do, I bet I’d do stuff with you that she wouldn’t dare.” Your voice oozes cheekiness.

“My girlfriend would put your loser ass to shame! Just last night she did this thing in bed-“

You clamp your hand over his mouth. “Ok ok I get it.” You can feel his smirk against your palm. “You always take stuff to far.”

“I always finish the shit you start.” He moves your hand and wraps his arms around your waist. “I like this dress by the way. The only thing getting me through this brunch is gonna be knowing I get to take it off later.”

He bends down and presses his lips to you.

You have to pull yourself away and grab his hand to pull him behind you. “Let’s go before we are late”

“You don’t think those shitty ass friends of yours are gonna be late too? I’ve never seen them be on time for a goddamn thing”

When you guys get to the car, you walk to the passenger side and open the door for him.

“My king” and you do a little bow.

“You’re so fucking insufferable”

The smile on your face doesn’t disappear as you climb into the drivers seat.

“Where is this place anyway?” He questions as your pull off.

“On the outskirts of town. It’s a place Eiji found a while ago. He said it’s 10/10”

“Oh fuck, are we really listening to recommendations from that red head idiot?? He would eat toast smeared with dirt if you covered it in protein powder.”

“ ‘Suki he’s not that bad.”

“Tch”

Eventually you pull up the place and you can see Katsuki looking at you like you’ve lost your mind.

“Did you dumb ass get lost? This is not a restaurant.”

“Surprise!!! It’s an adventure park! They have paintball, laser tag and zip lines and stuff. They also serve food but it’s like snack type things but I though that’d hold us over til we get home so I can cook.”

You are wearing the biggest grin and your excitement it’s practically bouncing off of you.

“Oh and I brought clothes for you to change in to. I didn’t wanna ruin the surprise by telling you to dress casual….. do you like it??” You ask him.

“You’re proud of yourself aren’t you?”

“Very”

“I…. Fucking love it. Are those tools still coming cuz I’ve got ass to kick.”

You bound over the seat and hug him. “Yep they are probably already inside. I told Mina to get here early to check us in.”

He slides his hand over your face and gives you a small smile before you places a kiss on your forehead.

“You did real good baby. Thank you”

“You’re welcome hot stuff. Not let’s get in there and give those guys a taste of Pro Hero Dynamight!”

“Hell yeah!”

This asshole won every game you guys played except for laser tag and thats only cuz you guys cheated! But he deserved it, he was getting too cocky for his own good.

BUT by the end of the night, he had you feeling like the real winner🤭

Katsuki Bakugo Masterlist

Tags: @dreamcastgirl99 @xxvendettaxx @sukunas-bratt @moonpieshawdy @theloveofnagiseishiroslife @mintsbubbletea @darkstarlight82 @anon-mouse223 @b134ch-m4h-ey3z @i-literally-cant-with-this @flowerbedbaby @kit-katsukii @blaize-hewwo @sweetblueworm @tippy-toes @superlegend216 @kxtsxkii @liliththeunqualifiedsimp @burgvndy @fluffismystaplefood @yoyolovesdaiki @zaiban2989

[lilacgaby]

day seven

~2k

chapter select!

the day started with mina being oddly insistent that they go out.

mina threw open [name]'s sublocking blinds and threw her blanket to the ground as she yelled to [name] to get up.

"come on, it'll be fun! that quirk is gone and all the girls wanna have a girls day out!" she was pulling on [name]'s hand as she guided her out of bed. [name] had slept til noon, which was normal in it of itself, but mina dragging her out of bed wasn't.

"come on! hurry up-- and go get cute or something!"

"okay! okay! gosh!" [name] was shoved into her bathroom, forced to get ready. she barely got to bask in the happiness of not being an over sharing loser for the first time in a week. still half asleep but senseable, she reasoned that since it was a girls day, she had to decide to put in a bit of extra effort into her outfit. she chose something cute and bright, perfect for the cherry blossom season.

when she came out the room, she felt the girls acting a bit cheeky and off as if they knew something was going to happen. she didn't have time to question it though, because she had to soak up the sun before she left, or else she'd be pissed for the rest of the day.

as she sunbathed, she shut her eyes. she felt so calm and at peace today.

her tranquility vanished after a short when someone came barging into her room to get her, this time it being uraraka, who adamantly urged her to get going. "let's go name, we're all waiting on you. we have to get going before the park gets full!"

"oh, okay-" [name] barely had time to grab the bag of her bed as uraraka pulled her with her iron grip out of her room and down to the entrance of the dorms where everyone was waiting. she was unsurprisingly very strong.

the girls all greeted [name] with smiles and hugs, momo spraying a bit of expensive perfume on her, hagakure fixing her hair, jirou giving her a 'lucky guitar pick' and placing it in her pocket, and mina putting a bit of powder and lipstick on her face.

"guys, i appreciate this and all but what's the occasion?" [name] finally said, liking yet questioning the strange attention.

"oh, uh.. we already fixed eachother up earlier, it's just that you were so late and all that we focused on you last. that's all." tsuyu shrugged.

they guided eachother out the dorm as they started to walk towards a park which they'd all regularly go to to celebrate things. exams being over, the first day of a season, a birthday: they'd been here hundreds of times already, but especially at specific times during the season, because of just how gorgeous it was.

the large trees hung over the plains, casting a dramatic shadow that contrasted the clear view of the sky. flowers bloomed all throughout the fields as streams and lakes were spread across the huge landscape. it was a popular place for couples, which is why is was unexpected to see pairs all around walking and clinging to eachother. but today, there was something that stuck out like a sore thumb among the all natural biome.

a pink checkered blanket she'd never seen there before.

the girls all suddenly put on dramatic, obviously fake shocked faces as [name] turned back to look at them.

"oh no! looks like we forgot all the food for the picnic!" jirou exclaimed.

"well, guess we have to go back to the dorms and get it." momo reasoned, linking arms with jirou as they moved to walk away with the group.

the statements were both said extremely robotically, when a strange lack of natural emotion.

"okay i'll come wi--"

"NO!" they all yelled in unison. they stopped walking and all turned to face [name], who for some reason suddenly felt as if she had said the dumbest thing in the world.

uraraka grabbed [name] by the shoulders, and shook her as she said "you stay here, we need someone to save our spot, besides there's even a perfectly good blanket there!" before signaling to   everyone that they should start rushing out.

"yeah [name]! go! we'll be back soon!" mina yelled, already pretty far away from where they had left her standing.

"o-kay.." she muttered to herself, walking slowly to the blanket and sitting down. she admired the view, it was really beautiful. she took one of the flowers from the ground, checked it for ants, and stuck it behind her ear.

as flowers started to bloom even brighter around her, a side effect from her happiness, she heard steps behind her.

the girls were back.

"well, you guys were qu--"

she was cut off as she looked back to find katsuki, dressed nicely in a cute outfit suited for the weather. he wore a blue sweater over his signature black, baggy slacks. another fresh bouquet sat in his hand, and he was also holding a medium sized bag of gifts, each one individually wrapped in her favorite color, with an expensive looking bag encapsulating them all.

"katsuki?"

"hey [name.]"

she looked him over. he was always handsome but today took the cake, as he slowly walked over to sit next to her she felt an indescribable feeling of happiness wash over her. it felt like she was in a romance anime of her own, with the cherry blossom petals accompanying his entrance.

what she didn't know was how rapid his heart was beating. she looked gorgeous here, even more than usual. the flowers that she made bloom, with the flower that she had put behind her ear, it was all too much.

"so, all this was planned by you? how thoughtful."

"yeah, yeah it was. but those idiots helped me out some."

"this is actually like- really nice. thank you katsuki." she said with a smile.

he flushed, her finally getting to see his face as she unintentionally flustered him. after a little bit, he stuck out the bag of gifts her got for her.

"for me?"

"who else? here."

as she looked inside she slowly unearthed each gift. each item was something that she liked, and it meant so much to her that he even went through the process of getting these things. the smaller items varied from small snacks to little trinkets she could attach to her school bag.

in particular, she let out a smile when she opened the drawstring bag with the bracelet in it. even more so when she saw that he had one too, except it was all might themed.

she couldn't stop the laughs that escaped her, especially not when her heart was beating so fast from both excitement and anticipation.

"what are you laughing at?"

"it's just-- you're so cute katsuki!"

he turned red at that.

"shut up and just open the last gift already!"

she stifled her laughs and covered her mouth with her hand. after she calmed down, she finally started to open it.

"y'know katsuki, on a date you're supposed to flirt and talk. not tell me to shut up the whole time."

"ack-- whatever. just open it."

"im getting to it."

she finally, almost tearful at the waste of the high-quality wrapping of the gift, revealed a velvet box of her favorite color. and she gasped when she saw what was inside.

a gorgeous necklace, not thin either, that was made up of her favorite material that'd match her other earrings and jewelry. what stood out the most was the gorgeous tulip that dangled from its center.

"katsuki.. you didn't."

"i did, i know, im the best right?" he said as he wordlessly asked for permission to touch her, and when granted he gently moved her into position to link the necklace onto her neck. he was behind her, his every breath heard in her ears and he moved her hair out the way to clip in the necklace.

as he turned back to look at her, he let a compliment escape his lips.

"beautiful."

"ah? stop it.."

"i'm serious, you're.. beautiful [name].

and, i really have something to say so-- be quiet and hear me out. okay?"

"okay."

he took a deep breath, trying to steady his beating heart and prepare himself for his rehearsed speech.

"[name], i- i care for you deeply. i've known about my feelings for you for a while. but, i actually overheard you at the start of the week, when you were outside the dorms?"

"seriously?"

"yes, but it wasn't just that. overhearing your call with mirko, and hearing it from you yourself. it made me rethink the depth of our relationship. but it all came to a halt when i saw you take on two fucking villains all by yourself, getting injured. it scared me. it made me realize how scared i am to lose you.

so, [name], would you accept all me if-- if i asked you to be my girlfriend."

...

"of course i would idiot!"

she tackled him into a kiss, pouring out all her feelings accumulated not only from the last week, but from the last two years they've had at U-A together into it.

when they pulled back, she left a kiss on his cheek just so she could laugh at the print from her lipstick on his mouth and cheek.

following that, they continued their date. katsuki had wiped off, or tried to, the marks on his lips and cheek which only served to make them smudged around. he eventually shrugged and gave up, revealing that he had brought sandwhiches and dessert that he had made all himself. he would rather die than admit it, but he had gotten a lot of helpful tips and hints from the otome's he'd play and the manga he'd read.

each bite was heavenly as she bit down into her food, he was, unsurprisingly, a great cook as well.

she forced him to let her feed him half the tart he had chosen to make for dessert, since he didn't really like sweet things all that much.

she didn't know where he was getting things from, but he also pulled out two tea glasses and a tea kettle, which he poured for the two of them to drink with the tart.

after that, they got up and strolled around. they hadn't noticed because it felt timeless when they were together, but hours had passed from when they first arrived.

they walked around the lake, hand in hand, as they watched the sun go down. katsuki looked golden in the suns final moments for the day, and [name] looked breathtaking as she glimmered in it.

as they looked at each other, admiration, love, and care evident in their eyes, they moved closer wordlessly, and kissed once again.

this time though, it was accompanied by a flash.

they were both taken out their trance as they looked back to see the girls, and denki, smiling knowingly at the two of them, with tsuyu and uraraka laughing softly at the lipstick marks on katsuki's face.

mina handed them the picture she snatched from denki, which had captured their moment surprisingly well considering denki's shaky hands.

"i knew it! thanks guys, i won four-thousand more yen today!" mina exclaimed happily as she coddled them into a quick group hug before going back to the girls, and denki, and high fiving everyone, except denki.

"damn it, i didn't think bakugo would actually do it. now im out a thousand.. again." denki groaned, as mina patted him on the back until they were out of sight.

they heard his annoyed groans and the girl's laughs as the group walked away.

katsuki and [name] side-eyed eachother, before bursting into laughter.

at denki's idiocy, the fact that they were caught, or the anticlimactic nature of someone always being there: they didn't know, they were just laughing their hearts away.

when they finally stopped, and the sunset had reached its peak, they looked back at eachother.

katsuki was going to yell at denki later for even thinking he'd chicken out,

but for now he'd kiss his girlfriend.

end.

[a/n: aaa this was my first thing i've ever written so i hope you enjoyed the ending <3 tysm for reading, i was planning on leaving this in the drafts forever]

prev |

tags: @cc1306 @reads-stuff-quietly @dazqa @teenagetrash00 @jennapancake @sakurarr1122

[striveattemptfail]

chaos, we so catostrophic | Logan Howlett & Wade Wilson, 1.1k, PG-13

@poolvertober: Day 17 – Cozy

Summary: Takes place immediately after Wade introduces Logan and Mary Puppins to Al. This is 100% dialogue and is more gen than slash but we all know the truth ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) TW: Rated for canon-typical violence, gun use, mentions of drugs/alcohol, language, and death of a nameless rat. Read on Ao3

A/N: I'm taking today's prompt real fast and loose here so please forgive me lmao. Title from Chk Chk Boom by Stray Kids because I'm still offended it wasn't included in the OST, smh 😑 Shout out to the wonderful Zay @comatose--overdose for the beta, idea throwing, and putting up with my ass (ಥ‿ಥ) All other mistakes are mine.

❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛

“It’s like an armadillo fucked a gremlin, angrily, and in a bed of gonorrhoea—”

“Wow.”

“—and didn’t stop ‘til the sun came up!”

“Whatever it is, I ain’t taking care of it.”

“Don’t worry about that. Besides, we should talk about how Logan is here to live with us!”

“No, I’m not...?”

“How the fuck are we supposed to keep a mangy dog and another whole-ass human being alive in this shithole apartment, Wade?”

“Gasp! How dare you call her mangy? She’s a princess and deserves to be treated like royalty!”

“And you want her to live in this cocaine-less den?”

“Did you just say ‘gasp’ out loud, bub?”

“The movie’s almost over, so I can probably hook you up with Doug’s forbidden baking powder soon. I’ll figure it out!”

“What about the entire man—”

“Ooh, that he is.”

“—that you intend to house in this one-bed, one-bath?”

“I’ll only be here until I can get on my feet, ma’am.”

“Nope, you’re staying here until you’re 90! Also, ‘ma’am’? Logan, I’m pretty sure you’re twice her age.”

“What the fuck?”

“Oh yeah, Logan’s the Wolverine and he’s, like, stupid old.”

“Fuck you.”

“...I thought Wolverine died?”

“This is a new one.”

“How the fuck did you get a fucking new one?”

“I’ll give you the abridged version of the movie later, after everybody settles in.”

“Wade! For fuck’s sake, I can hear you leaving—don’t you dare walk away from me!”

“Don’t you dare walk away from meeeee!”

“Singing Whitney doesn’t answer my question about how the hell we’re fitting three people and a dog in here!”

“We’ve got a pull-out—haha, pull out—in the living room and an XL twin in the bedroom.”

“My bedroom, Wade!”

“Bub, are you fuckin’ serious?”

“Hey, if the fanfics can make it work, then we’ll make it work!”

“I cannot believe this shit. This dumbass never listens to me.”

“Jesus fuckin’ christ. Althea?”

“Yes, Logan?”

“Ya got any booze around?”

“I think there’s beer in the fridge.”

“Booze? Already? It’s not even—Al, what time is it?”

“How the hell am I supposed to know?”

“Right, blind, can’t see the time.”

“If that wall clock’s right, it’s 3:14, bub.”

“It’s not even 4pm and you’re already drinking?!”

“If I have to put up with your hairless-brained bullshit, yes, I am.”

“I’d be more offended at that joke but I’m honestly impressed, pookie.”

“Seriously? For calling you bald?”

“His standards are in hell used as Satan’s spreader bar where he should’ve gone instead of rooming with me.”

“Hey!”

“Pfft!”

“Unbelievable, I can’t believe—oh, no! No no no no, Lady Leprosy With Legs, don’t nap in that! That’s where Daddy keeps his knives.”

“That’s what I’m trying to talk about, Wade! Where the hell is everyone supposed to sleep?”

“You and I can bunk together like we used to, Al. Logan can take the pull-out.”

“Oh, friggin’ hell—no. You and I will share that damn couch and Althea can keep her bed.”

“Thank you, Logan.”

“Aw, you’re so sweet, sugar tits!”

“Now, what about the dog?”

“She’ll get a dog bed, duh.”

“What? D’ya just have a dog bed lying around somewhere?”

“I do, actually! But where did I put that thing?”

“Are you serious?”

“Convenient, huh! I found it in Al’s shit when we moved in together and decided to keep it. I’m guessing the author got too lazy trying to figure out a better way to include it in this fic.”

“...He just says shit sometimes. Don’t mind him, Logan.”

“I’m well aware. You’re a weirdo, bub.”

“Thank you! I’ll take that as a compliment. Now, if I remember right—SHIT!!!”

“What?!”

“The fuck’s happening?!”

“Ah, shit, fuck! There’s a rat!”

“A RAT?!”

“Althea, where did you get that gun—put it down!”

“POINT ME TO THE FUCKING RAT!”

“Al, put the fucking gun down!”

“GET RID OF THE RAT FIRST!”

“Arf!”

“Mary, don’t touch that thing!”

“Fuckin’ hell, bub, grab Mary while I—”

BANG!

“AL, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE—”

“Arf-arf! Rrrrruff!”

“WADE, GRAB THE GODDAMN DOG!”

“NO, GET THE FUCKING RAT FIRST!”

“Mary—!”

BANG!

“AH!!!”

“Althea!”

“Jack Kirby’s giant ballsack!”

“Did I get it?!”

“Fuck no! You hit me, you empty-eyed, shit-for-aim walking corpse!”

“Rrrrrrafff!”

“Logan, keep her from shooting this way!”

“Just let me aim for the fucking rat!”

“Althea, please just hand me—”

“Get your goddamn hands off my glock!”

“Then stop shooting!”

“Mary, wait—!”

BANG!

“Rrrrrragghhh!”

“Ho. ly. shit.”

“What the fuck happened? Did I get it? Is it dead?!”

“You’re such a good girl, yes, you are!”

“He better not be talking to me, I swear to god.”

“Little miss angel face here just caught our uninvited guest!”

“Grrrrrr.”

“Wade, get that thing out of her mouth before it catches rabies from her.”

“Wow, rude, she doesn’t have rabies! Also, I’m pretty sure it’s already dead. She’s got no teeth but a hell of a bite, don’t you, my lovely bundle of herpes and joy?”

“Just get the fucking thing out of here!”

“Ugh, fine, jeez louise—come here, girl. You did such a good job, yes you did! Thank you for killing that thing! Now, let’s go toss it out.”

“The dog caught the rat?”

“Yeah, she did.”

“Well...I guess it can stay then.”

“Really? The dog’s already in your good graces?”

“You’re the one who tried grabbing my gun.”

“Because you were shooting everywhere!”

“And now you’re arguing with me!”

“...My apologies, ma’am. Won’t happen again.”

“Just keep your word and it’s alright.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Alrighty! Time to go look for that bed again.”

“Anybody want a beer?”

“Can you grab me one, Logan?”

“You already finished that whole can?!”

“‘Course I did. All that shit gave me headache.”

“Welcome to a day in the life of Deadpool and Blind Al, peanut!”

“I did this to myself. I chose to come here. How the fuck did that happen?”

“I wonder the same damn thing all the time.”

“Your beer.”

“Thank you, baby.”

“I can’t believe it’s been less than five minutes and both of you are already ganging up on me!”

“S’not hard to.”

“My Wolvie is so mean! Aha, here it is! I knew I still had the old thing. Here you go, my fearless guard dog.”

“It was a rat, not an intruder, Wade.”

“She protected the house and killed that pest. She’s practically a guardian angel!”

“Eh, good enough for me.”

“See, Al gets it!”

“I still ain’t looking after that thing.”

“That’s fine. Logan and I will!”

“I did not sign up for that.”

“You did when you agreed to crash with me!”

“Is he always like this, Althea?”

“Oh, you have no idea.”

“Make yourself cozy, Logan, because it only gets better from here!”

“God help me.”

“God help us all.”

“Arf!”

[dreaminginpencil]

Found this in my drafts and had forgotten to post it soooo...

This art is based on a twitter thread drabble I wrote about Steve and his soft toy Bunny and growing up in difficult situations and loving people that are sick the best that you can.

It's also posted in full on AO3 if you wanna support me there ❤️

(CW: depression and neglect of a child) Steve’s mom suffered with poor mental health and Steve didn’t understand. Eddie does too, and maybe Steve understands better now.

When Steve was small, his parents’ door was open a crack most of the time, the sweet grown-up scents of perfume and cologne drifting out. Their bedroom was a treasure trove of wonders, their expansive closet full of clothes that swished and slipped over his little fingers, his mom’s dressing table cluttered with ornate glass bottles of perfume, sweet-smelling waxy lipstick, and delicate compacts of powders, her silver-backed beautiful hairbrush. Sometimes his mom even brushed his hair like hers, til it gleamed, shiny and soft.

When the bedroom door was closed, Steve knew to knock first, knew he should probably wait and ask for their time later.

Sometimes though, sometimes his mother would shut the bedroom door and she would not leave the room for days. His father would sleep on the couch, or make excuses and go away on “business”.

There would be no sweet smells of perfume, only dark and silence. His father told him that his mom was sick, to let her rest. Steve didn’t understand why she didn’t want to see him. When he was sick, he wanted cuddles and toast and hot drinks with honey and his Bunny with one ear loved almost all the way off.

Steve would sit outside her door with his Bunny and wait. He would wait and wait and eventually when he was lonely and tired he would knock quietly and creep into her room.

With the heavy damask curtains drawn, it drowned the room in blue shadows, the looming frame of the four poster and it’s mounds of blankets piled up. Steve felt like he was climbing a mountain to find his mom amongst them all.

“Are you sick? Do you want toast?”

He would offer her his Bunny, cuddle close. She did not smell like perfume, just something stale and forgotten.

“Mommy’s tired Stevie.”

Sometimes she wouldn’t speak at all, just touch his hair. Sometimes she would tell him to leave her.

“Go and play Stevie.”

Steve didn’t know how to explain with her there was nobody to play with and that his father had gone away somewhere and he was hoping she would make him macaroni.

Steve learnt to get to the high up pantry shelves for snacks until his father got home, or til his mom stopped feeling tired.

She seemed more than tired, but what did he know?

The older Steve got, the more often his mom was tired. He learnt not to ask anymore, just to lie down with her, to be patient, to be sweet.

He learnt to bring her food, even if she would not eat it, to make her tea and open the curtains up. He learnt to coax her from bed and to her vanity, so he could brush the dark tangle of her hair until it gleamed and fell like silk down her back. He ran her hot baths and always gave her his Bunny.

When his parents started to go away and not come home, Steve wondered who took care of her. If his father still left her alone.

She would sound far far away when he called her. “I’m tired Stevie, we’ll speak soon.” The dial tone felt heavy.

Steve gets tired too, but there is nobody who will come to check on him, so he cannot sleep through it.

Eddie is like his mother was, sometimes.

After the Upside Down, after Vecna, Eddie is dogged by the shadow of consequence. They won, yes, they won, but Eddie is scarred and scared and sometimes he is very tired.

Steve knows how to take care of Eddie when he’s tired.

He can come to Eddie in his quietness, in his tangled unwashed sheets and his dark bedroom and he can offer, piece by piece, the things he knows.

He can kiss Eddie’s clammy forehead, his tangled hair, curl up with him and pay no heed to the mortification of dirty sheets for a while. He can crack the blinds and bring him his painkillers and water and coffee. He can coax Eddie to a shower, washing the sleep and the sadness from his skin. He can change his sheets, trade them for clean soft cotton and comfort.

When Eddie is clean and so tired again, Steve can brush his long hair until it’s free from tangles and falls long and dark down his back.

Sometimes Eddie needs time to be tired, but Steve can care for him still, with quiet affection and patience.

Eddie may need time, sometimes, but he never entirely closes the door to shut Steve out.

[rokishimizu4]

Nightwing’s Big Brother adventure

(Sorry for the long wait, I’m moving to a new place and starting a new job, so very busy with that. Also, I’m writing stories-BatFam, Yautjas, Undertale AUs, Homer (Odyssey) x Gods/Goddesses, Hetalia Nordic 5, etc.) This one is gonna be dialogue heavy, because I see Dick & Jason being chatty when especially nervous. (Aka there is a child that Jay told me threw up brains and powdered meth and it’s staring at me from across two buildings on top of a fucken roof) Enjoy!

Warning: Todd being Todd, foul language, in a bad mood Nightwing

The months leading up to Nightwing traveling back and forth from Blüdhaven to EVERYWHERE else was one of with a sharp decline in villain activity in his claimed city as he was not in the mood to be nice.

Especially when he learns that there may be a organization out there that’s probably experimenting on people that NO ONE can find and a child out there that Jay says “threw up a bunch of meth users’ brains and got so sick that I was ready to call dad and beg him for help”.

That shit does not fly by Dick Wayne Grayson, especially when it comes to children that might be experimented on.

So, cue Nightwing prowling across Blüdhaven from when the sun starts to go down to as soon as the sun is high in the sky with his team. He barely goes to bed before he decides to head over to Gotham to help out with whatever he can.

However, this night was far from his ‘normal’ routine as he was in route to a bank robbery when he notices that the next roof he was ready to jump onto had something strange sitting on the ledge, glowing purple in the flashing lights of the fuck ton of cop cars down below. (Dick let the cops have a head start cause he was feeling nice)

The thing reminds Nightwing of a being made of oil, slime, and water, and/or some type of clay. But, seeing the goop moving in the flashing lights like a living, breathing, human did something to his brain that reminded him of when he first met Jason Todd.

“Hello there, a lot of noise here huh? What are you doing out here so late at night? Do you need some help? Are you hungry? Thirsty?” He asks in a soft tone, trying not to scare the mysterious child, who was smaller than Jason before his death and maybe even smaller than Damien when he was dropped off at Wayne Manor.

However before Nightwing could ask anymore questions, a beeping from his com renders him speechless. He quickly puts a hand up towards the figure, while his other hand goes up to his ear and presses a small button.

“Go for Nightwing.” “Hey Wing, just heard from your girlfriend that you haven’t been fucken sleeping dick head!” “Hood, I really don’t have the time for this.” “Oh no, the famous Nightwing doesn’t have the time to take his own god damn advice! Fuck you Wing, I’m gonna come over there and beat your ass til you can’t get the fuck out of bed for a week.”

”Hood, I really need you to watch your language at the moment.” “Why, you gonna come over here and wash my mouth out with soap? Too bad, I had worse. So try me bitch!”

”Jay Bird,” Dick could tell that Jason was now actually listening, “I have a goop child sitting a full roof top away from me that is staring at me and tilting it’s head side to side like it can hear you and understand you. So please, little brother watch your language.”

”Please tell me you’re joking. Dick, please fucken tell me you’re joking.” “I wish I was, because there is currently a robbery in progress and while the cops are there already, the still flashing lights do NOT fill me with confidence. And, from what you told me about this child, I refuse to leave them alone.”

”Where are you? Please tell me where you are NOW.” Jason growls and Dick did not need to hear Jason to know that he was rushing through his house/hideout getting clothes on and tripping his own feet to make it to Dick’s location.

”Blüdhaven, the biggest bank. Please hurry, cause I don’t know what to do yet.”

”Do you have any chocolate or anything like that on you? Yes, I’m being serious, cause the kid ate a shit ton of chocolate once it got all that shit out of its stomach.”

”How the fuck…” Dick’s jaw threatens to drop in confusion as he remembers that the backpack he was carrying was full of different types of chocolates and candy to make up his absences from date nights with Kori.

“Don’t fuck tell me that you have chocolate on you.. Pfft!” Jason busts out laughing as he realizes that the kid probably followed Dick because he has fucken chocolate!

”Jay, please shut your mouth. I’m gonna give this kid some chocolate and if you’re not here in the next 10 minutes, I’m gonna convince Kori to adopt this kid with me.”

”Hey! Fuck off! I called dibs first!”

Dick cuts Jason off with a double beep, which closes the conversation, and places some chocolate bars on his combo sticks and balances it over to the building roof in between the two of them, and slides it onto the roof. Then retracts so the kid could grab and go if they wanted to.

Which, to the disappointment of Dick, and Jason, who just landed on the same roof of Dick’s building, is exactly what the child did.

In a blink of two pairs of eyes, the goopy child grabbed the small stack of chocolates bars with a pair of tentacles and then jumps off the FUCKEN BUILDING, only to disappear into the mass of flashing lights like mist.

“WTF?” “Did you?” Two coms beeps-“Wing/Hood to Oracle!”

[elsbbg]

Watercolour eyes, Ellie Williams x reader

Synopsis: Doing Ellie’s makeup for the first time

Warnings: none, just pure fluff

Wc: 0.9k

A/n: heyy, so this is my first ever fic (so please go easy on me I’m sensitive :)), til now I’ve always made silly scenarios in my head, now I wanna write those fantasies down just for pure fun, soo hope you’ll enjoy <3 btw the title of the song has nothing to do with the story, I just liked it that’s all :) Also excuse any grammar errors English isn’t my first language

As the snow was collecting on the mountains and a storm was about to loom over Jackson, it was impossible for you and Ellie to go on your usual afternoon patrol shift since Maria thought it would be too dangerous to go into the woods in the middle of a storm. And so this is how you got here, in the comfort of Ellie’s garage.

The lights hanging on the wall behind her couch were emitting a soft warm light that hugged her whole living room. As you were lazily laying on her bed, back pressed to the headboard while reading a book, Ellie was laying between your legs, head resting on your belly as she was playing video games.

This was until you felt her shift from her original position and feel the warmth of her body slowly leave you. She had turned the television off, to then throw herself on the bed again next to your frame, face hiding in her pillow.

“Els, you okay?” You asked as you were closing your book to place it on her bedside table and give her your full attention. “Yea… just- really fucking bored”she sighed hiding her face into your chest. “Mhm… do you still have my little beauty case that I left here a couple of weeks ago?” You asked the freckled girl as you gently caressed her hair. “Yeah sure, why?” She asked laying on her side, hand supporting her head “there might be something interesting in it, you know to pass the time” at your response a smirk started spreading on her plushy lips: “oh yea? And what is it?” She asked, hand caressing your exposed hip. “Nothing like that dummy” you said, suddenly standing up from your place on the bed, heading to her bathroom to go pick the beauty case up “so I’m not getting laid?” She asked in a high tone, fake sadness draped in it. Just when you returned back to her, bright pink case full of cosmetics and coloured powders in your hands, that the realisation hit her “I’m not doing that” she stated in a flat tone, one you rarely heard. “Of course you’re not, I’m doing your makeup for you” you said brightly smiling, sitting on your knees in front of her “absolutely not. I don’t want sticky shit on my face”. “It’s not sticky and I’m gonna make you look so cool, like rockstar cool” you tried convincing her “I swear if you put pink glittery stuff on my face I’ll throw you out of the house, and your house is across the city” she jokingly threatened you, to which you responded “yea and Joel lives across the street” “shut up he doesn’t”.

Since doing her makeup sitting across each other would be too hard, you asked her if she could lay back for you and let you sit on her lap so to be closer to her face and more concentrated. Her hands were on your hips keeping you still, fingers slightly fidgeting with the hem of her sweater you were wearing.

You decided to do a makeup that would totally fit her, both with the way she dressed, with her usual dark baggy clothes, and with her loser and nerdy personality. So you opted for a black liner that would color her waterline, slightly smudged on her eye bags and blending a bit toward the outside of her emerald eyes. Just when you thought the girl couldn’t get prettier your expectations were fully blown. The way the black liner made her emerald eyes pop out was actually mesmerising, she looked so graceful yet so inelegant in all her beauty. Even tho her eyes were closed she could feel you staring “everything okay there babe?” She asked opening her eyes, squinting through the dim light of the room. “Yea, you just look- very pretty” you said gently caressing her cheek “yeah yeah, just finish your work of art” you smiled at how she defined her own skin as your work of art, a canvas to paint on. “Open your eyes els, I gotta put mascara on” you said gently tapping her cheek “I swear if you stab my eyes with that thing-“ “I’m not gonna stab your eyes out els, just trust me” you reassure her as you leave a kiss on her forehead. After having applied mascara and succeeding in not stabbing her eyes, it was time for her lips, as soon as she saw you pick a lipstick up she immediately stated “you’re not putting that on my lips” “yes I am” “no” “please… do it for your girl” you fake pouted, the look in her pleading eyes screamed kicked dog but you didn’t care. “Please… so I can smudge it up later while making out” you said accentuating a smile “what colours do you have?” That’s all it took her for her to say yes, and fall into your trap: a pout and a make out session.

After a good five minutes of choosing the right shade that complemented her pale skin, you opted for a nude dark rose lipstick color, and a light coat of clear lipgloss.

“You look beautiful els, like actually pretty- I mean you always look pretty but this is a different kind of pretty… I guess” you stutter a little “mhm, thank you baby, but now I wanna see how it turned out too”. You pass her the portable mirror you got and she actually looked pretty shocked too. “This is so cool and totally badass… I kinda do look pretty” she looked at you through the mirror with a giddy kind of expression on her face “maybe you should do my makeup more often…” she shyly said “I think so too els”.

“Now come here, I need you to smudge my lipstick” she said as she pulled you in for a sweet and passionate kiss. “Wait wait wait…” you brutally braked the kiss. “What is it?” She asked, a hint of worry in her voice “I wanna take a pic” you said smiling. She gave you a little peck before answering “we’ll take it when it’s all smudged and on your pretty face too” she said pulling you back in for the kiss, wide smiles plastered on both your features.

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

Delinquent Deuce - Monster AU

Monster: Slime Word Count: ~0.75K Relationships mentioned: Deuce and Delia, (his mom), literally nobody else important. Chapter 1 spoilers for in game. TW: None, really??? He's a slime so a missing chunk of body or two isn't a graphic thing?? but wound/"blood"....and it was inside someone but thats mentioned in passing Also a lot of impromptu worldbuilding if it comes off like I don't know what I'm doing that would be Correct. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ He thought he could avoid his mother's worry, slipping in under the door so as to not cause a ruckus with unlocking the door, and gave himself a light rinse on the cleaner. Anyone with feet may have called a boot cleaner, but for slimes like him and his mom, it simply diluted and made it easier to "push up" any dirt and grime they'd picked up during the day that might leave a trail when they went into the house, but they could rinse out later.

He looked down at his side, thin rivulets of liquid still dripping from the chunk he was missing and silently chided himself. There was no way he would be able to hide it from his mother before he was able to regenerate it on his own, and there was no way he wanted it back, even if he did summon it. It would just remind him of the promise he had broken to his mother....and the fact it had been inside someone else didn't make the thought appealing either. It made it back out but....yeah, he still didn't want it back. He made his way to the kitchen quietly, washing his hands, and then siphoning water through his hand down to the wound to flush it out back into the sink, cleaning the wound. Thankfully it wasn't that part that was too painful. He held his hand against the wound as he started to rummage under the sink for the first aid kit, and more specifically, the powder he could sprinkle onto the wound to congeal the thin internal fluids leaking from him, at least to hold him together til morning when his mom could help. He grumbled a little bit as he squished down lower to try and find the kit, until he felt what he could only assume was the packet, hit his back. He recoiled in surprise, his head hitting the counter and squishing, before he moved out from under the sink properly to stand up, staring like a deer in the headlights at his mom. "I was wondering when you were going to be home. I sent you a couple texts, but I didn't hear anything from you." She glanced down at where his hand clutched his side and sighed softly. "I guess I know why. Is it bad? Move your hand, let me see." She sludged over to him, not letting him protest as she picked the packet out from his back and squished down to see the wound better, before opening the package and sprinkling the contents over the area. Deuce hissed softly in pain. "I-I'm real sorry mom I didn't mean to get into another fight, its just this one kid he really got to me today and....I warned, him, I gave him a fair chance, I swear I did. I tried leaving too, but he kept following me and-" his voice cracked a bit as a few tears welled up in his eyes. "I didn't want to break my promise to you mom....I'm so sorry." He looked away from her as she scooped a safe amount of her own slime out and applied it to his side, holding it in place until it bound with him. Her side was able to regenerate in seconds, being an adult in good health. Her cool hand rested gently against his face as she tried to wipe away a few tears, and kissed his head softly as her son began to melt with his emotions. "You're home safe sweetheart, and that's what matters most. There's some leftover pumpkin pie in the fridge if you want some, but I really think it's time for you to get to bed before you need me to carry you around in a bucket." she chuckled softly, before pulling him into a hug and squeezing him gently. A small sob left Deuce as he snuggled into his mom, thankful, but disappointed in himself. Hopefully after some rest he could feel better. "Thanks mom." "Of course hon." She let him go before ruffling his "hair". "Tomorrow is a new day." She kissed his forehead once more before stretching and creeping towards her bedroom. "I'll see you tomorrow Deuce. Good night. I love you. Don't stay up too late." Deuce looked at the few dishes left in the sink before glancing back at his mom, already planning to wash them before bed. It wasn't much of an apology, but it was the least he could do. He would wait until she was back in bed though. "Love you too mom. I won't." ------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: A/N: Hiya, if you made it here, you might want to check out my other Twstober works here, or if you're looking for some fluff after that fic, you can check out my main masterlist here. Ask box is open if you have any questions! Thanks for reading!

[marydswitchduet]

Chastity Log Day 13 (7/25)

What Did We Do?

I had to do adulting things this morning but it went well and now I’ve gotten a better job with better pay.

Once I got home, mommy could tell I was exhausted both physically and emotionally cuz I had only slept an hour after coming home from work. I don’t know how I’m not more exhausted tbh.

We talked and were happy for the good news, and mommy mentioned that she’d do a little session for me. I stripped, half expecting to just sleep but she asked about the diapers and she began fluffing it. I love seeing the little things she picks up, as it is those little things that make all the difference.

She laid out the diaper and had me lay on the bed. This is one of the first times we’ve done this in a long period dynamic. I felt vulnerable but safe. Before I was taped up, mommy gave my pee pee some special attention and it felt heavenly. Light touches, kisses, air on my little dicky all felt amazing.

Mommy hit me with some baby powder, an amazing scent to my nose and prolly one of the smells that bring such easy regression. I hope to get a bottle of the original white one with talc, since I don’t have any issues that the health concerns relate to.

I was dipped up nice and tight, and with my hard little dicky facing up. Mommy had me lay with her and she teased my little dicky in my diapee. I couldn’t get soft to save my life, but mommy said she still couldn’t feel it.

I humped against a stuffy per mommy’s instructions. She told me to pick a pace and stick with it. I did and she rubbed my head as I got into it. She laughed and told me how pathetic I was. I couldn’t object, cuz I was.

I laid on mommy and we cuddled and I slept a little. It was so nice, and needed. I felt safe and so comfortable, and normally it’s tough for us to cuddle like that.

We cuddled and mommy and I whispered about a cuckolding fantasy. Mommy being taken by a primal man, me diapered up in the corner just moaning and wishing it was me while I hump into my diaper. How I would be a good baby and sit and watch mommy make happy noises

Mommy had to go to work, which made me sad. But, she opened me up and powdered me up before she left though 🤤. She teased me and rubbed my hard. Then she spit on my little pee pee, sprinkled some more baby powder on it and takes me back up high and tight. Ugh I was so horny and hard it was straining at the edge of my diapee

I got instructions from mommy to hump my stuffy til she got to work and keep a good pace. I wasn’t allowed to make cummies and I had to go #1 in my diapee til mommy got home to change me.

I was able to do humpies…but I made cummies 😭

The worst part is, it was after I’d stopped but my body was still reeling cuz I was egging myself on talking to myself in little space. It does more than I expect

I told mommy cuz I know better than to try and pull one over on her 😞

She told me I was pathetic, messages below.

I got up and I got a whiff of my stickies mixed with the baby powder…quite intoxicating. If I ever need something smell-wise to basically make me docile or subby, that would be a good place to start. May need to cum on some and save it

I tried to sleep earlier but it was just too much and I just kept making humpies with my stuffy. But it just didn’t hit the same

I woke up later and peed out of my diapee, first time that’s happened. Such a shame cuz I wanted mommy to change me. Oh well

How did it feel?

Embarrassing, fun, little space of disappointment

How are you feeling? Ball-Wise?

Sore, I came today and even now they still hang low

What I want more/less of in current dynamic?

More: research on my own of what helps me enter and delve deeper into a little headspace

Hypno files, I’d like to try some. Whether they be ones I find, ones mommy makes, or a combo of both. I will admit there were a few I saw that needed to be paid that the temptation was there

Things I’m enjoying

All of it, cuddling and sleeping with mommy today. My change this morning.

The fact that even if mommy and I don’t know if we’d ever add a third to our relationship, it does make me happy we can talk about it. Just nice to know we are comfortable and safe with each other to say it and voice interest AND concerns. Nice and healthy

Mommy told me I needed to come up with 3 punishments:

* one I’d enjoy: having to shave my body, I’m comfortable with legs, groin, ass, and upper arms. Then mommy to rub baby oil over me and into my diaper and I have to lay there and not move t the good feelings and high sensitivity

* One to put me Into a deeper little headspace: this one I’ll need to revisit as I’m still figuring out what best gets me into little space

* one that I’d be scared/excited for: given a drink, a bottle perhaps, with laxatives and have uncontrolled mess

[i-change-steves-diapers]

This is bad. No, this is really bad.

A year after Steve’s adventure with his pampers, he's now 18 and graduated highschool. Things were good after that first night, he was less stressed, he smiled more, paid attention in nearly every class, of course not all Of them because what teenager is perfect, after all.

And it was because of his newfound regression.

Any time after a hard day, he could just go home, put on a comfy diaper, hug his bunny and watch Barney for a little while til the day seemed okay.

Now a year later he's still doing it more so than ever really, he even invested in quite a few more things from the local store. A pacifier now, as well as a bottle, and a bib for when sometimes he felt like he wanted one for eating lunch.

Today, his Girlfriend Nancy was coming over to drop off a shirt he'd left at her house. He wasn't home, being at a night out with Tommy, but she was at his house so much that she saw no problem letting herself in.

However, she wasn't often in his room. It was something he acted weird about, whenever mentioned. This, Steve had no justification for. Not that Nancy ever asked, anyway.

Today, curiosity got the best of her. And oh, was that a decision and a half. Upon walking into his room, she was instantly met with the lingering smell of baby powder. This was because of Steve’s changes, and general wearing, but of course, she was totally oblivious to that.

“Thats weird.."

She muttered to her self. She knew the thick smell immediately, given she had her baby sister Holly at home. She continued to look around long after tossing Steve’s shirt onto his bed, finding this and that which would be expected of a teenage boy. Magazines full of girls, alcohol which Steve often indulged in with all of his friends, and of course Nancy. But nothing out of the ordinary.. yet.

She had just all but decided to leave, when a small ruffle at the bottom of steves bed caught her attention. The bottom of the blanket was folded, as if sitting on top of something. When she knelt down and lifted it up, she was met with a very large, plain cardboard box. Instantly she thought to herself ‘this must be it.’ the reason she was never allowed in his room.

Nancy stood with the nondescript box, and set it on top of his bed, before flipping the lid right off. She was in utter shock for a few seconds. She couldn't believe her eyes. First, she caught sight of the half full package of Pampers. Then next to it the wipes and well used bottle of powder. Right next to them was a worn down stuffed rabbit, and right above him, was a light blue pacifier.

Nancy didn't know what to think. Tentatively she picked up the package from the box, and examined it for just a second,before setting it down and looking at the rest of the box.

That was when she heard the small “Nancy..?" Behind her back.

Steve was home. And probably at the worst possible time he could've been.

“What are you doing here?"

He asked cautiously, Steve hadn't yet spotted the box in front of her, as she turned to face him with a confused expression of her own.

“I was- dropping off your shirt. You left it at my house last week, and I thought it would be okay if I let myself in. Steve.. is there something you want to tell me about?”

With that, she one handedly grabbed the box from behind her back, and held it up for Steve to see.

The effect was instantaneous.

Immediately he reached for it, but she pulled it back.

" Hey! I just wanna know.”

" Nancy, give it to me now. I'm not playing.”

This wasn't like his usual self. And she didn't like this side of Steve. He usually got this way when he was drunk.

“Look, Steve, I just want to understand!" She set the box back on the bed, sitting next to it.

“Is it- some sort of fetish, or something..? I'm not judging, I just want to know!"

“JESUS Christ Nancy no! It's not some fetish its- it's hard to explain, okay.."

He couldn't even look at her now. Steve’s eyes were on the floor. He didn't even hear the soft steps of Nancy’s approach, until she gently ran her fingers through his hair.

“We've got time, Steve.."

So then he did his best to explain it all. They were on his bed for almost a whole hour before Steve finished his story of why, what, how and where.

"So you.. do this is a way to cope, i suppose? That's not so hard to understand. And its alot better than anything I could've thought, Steve. Really.”

But he wasn't convinced. ‘Now she'll break up with me.’ He thought internally.

‘Its alot better than anything I could've thought Steve, but I'm not gonna date a guy who pisses his pants and still has his stuffed bunny.’

But what happened next, he never could've in a hundred times over, guessed.

Nancy gently lifted Steve's chin with the tip of her finger, looking into his teary eyes, and hating what she found there. With her other hand, she slowly guided the pacifier from his box into his mouth.

At first he was frozen. ‘what?’ This was supposed to be where she ran away and told Steve she hated him. But instead she looked at him like she couldn't ever have loved him more.

“Gosh Steve you look just adorable like this.." a sweet smile played on her lips, and after a few seconds Steve gave the pacifier a few nervous suckles.

“Now then, we better get those icky pants off, hm? After a long day of playing grown up I'm sure you're quite ready to be done with them! Although its very fun to play pretend, isn't it sweetheart?"

Nancy chuckled at Steve's blank, confused stare before he slowly climbed onto his back and nodded in agreement, while she grabbed a diaper from the pack, along with his bottle of powder.

She was very gentle. That was the best way to put it. She moved tenderly and carefully as she undid his belt, and slid his Khaki’s down before doing the same with his underwear.

“Tsk Tsk, Steve what is this!"

She spoke like a stern mother, or a babysitter. Steve's whole private area was irritated and itchy red. A very clear diaper rash.

“Didn change a while las’ nigh’."

He mumbled back shyly in response, blushing when his pacifier gave him a silly lisp. Nancy shook her head before lifting his legs for him, and sliding the fresh diaper under his inflamed tushy, and sprinkling a healthy amount of powder all over, then to his front as well, then taped it up nice and snug with expert precision.

She'd changed Mike’s diapers years before, and now Holly’s too. She had it down. And even Steve had to notice that it felt way better than when he ever did it himself.

“Well, no worries. I can buy a tube of diaper rash cream on my way home.”

The thought of Nancy buying him baby supplies brought a red glow to his cheeks even worse than before, as she smiled and chuckled to herself, as she grabbed his box again to look through.

This time she held up Mac. Steve's stuffed bunny.

Instantly his eyes were fixed on it, with almost a feeling of jealousy at seeing someone else handling him. Nancy noticed immediately.

“Is this a friend of yours, Steve?"

He gently nodded, playing with the ring of his Pacifier before mumbling “Mac"

“Mac! Well what a handsome name. I suppose that makes sense from my oh so handsome little boy!"

It was like magic how Steve's tummy filled with butterflies just like when he tried diapers for the first time. Nancy was a natural. And this was MUCH better than anything Steve could've hoped for.

With his free hand he reached out for the stuffed toy with a low whine from his throat, hoping she'd understand that he wanted it. At first, she pulled it back, coaxing immediately when Steve whined out.

“Ah! We do not just grab things, little one. What do we say when we want something, hm?"

He stared blankly for a moment before muttering “please?" As best he could around the rubber of his pacifier, satisfied with himself when Nancy gave another very pleased smile and handed it right over.

“What do you say, we go to my house? My family isn't home, and we have Star Wars rented. Mike, of course."

Steve never told anyone, since it was a major "nerd” thing, but he loved Star Wars. Nancy was one of the only people who knew that. And at the suggestion he was jumping up immediately and getting his pants back on.

Nancy kissed his forehead on her way out his door, calling over her shoulder. " I'll meet you by the car, puff butt~”

The nickname made him blush bright pink all over again, as he set his pacifier and toy reluctantly back into the box, and slid it back into its safe little hiding place beneath his bed, then making his way downstairs to meet Nancy.

This should be an adventure.. one he couldn't wait for.

This is the second chapter of the fanfiction i Wrote on Ao3 "Steve Harringtons strange desires."

If you liked it, and would wanna read the rest, heres the link!

[inkymoon16]

Chapter 2 - Dusk

Chapter 2 of my fic "Dusk Til Dawn" which can be found on AO3!

Native New Yorker - Odyssey

It was an ordinary day. Nothing out of the unusual. I woke up on time, which I always did, drank my tea, ate my toast, applied my makeup, threw my work uniform on, and was out the door in about forty-five minutes. I lugged my tote bag over my shoulder, which kept slipping off my coat - a ridiculously expensive purchase I had bought one night during a cocaine bender. I quit drugs the next day when I woke up to a fur coat perched on the edge of my bed, a half naked man snoring beside me, and a cat I had never seen before meowing at my door. 

This fur coat was a natural tan color and had cost me a hundred and fifty dollars, of which I certainly could not afford. I walked the four blocks to the diner where I worked, a cigarette perched between my fingers. My work uniform was simple - skin color stockings, and a stupid powder blue collared dress that came to my mid-thighs. I guess the owner wanted the “pretty girls to attract customers” but the only thing it attracted was unwanted comments. 

“Mornin’ Arthur.” I hollered when I sauntered through the door into the mercifully warm diner. 

My manager appeared from the back, carrying boxes from a new shipment, a cigarette hanging from his lips. “Mornin’ Aurora. You can start by sortin’ silverware and filling up those damn ketchup bottles. Closers neglected yet again.”

I rolled my eyes and huffed. The closers could never do anything fucking right. I worked mornings during the week and Friday and Saturday nights. Sunday was my only day off. I put a few quarters into the jukebox and soon David Bowie was serenading me as I rolled silverware into their respective paper napkins. 

As customers started to trickle in this Thursday morning, I abandoned my side work to serve them. The day passed as normal. I got off shift around 5:15 and after a hamburger, I slipped on my fur coat and headed back towards my apartment. These four blocks were often filled with annoying teenagers shouting things out at me. 

Complaints aside, I actually didn’t mind the walk. I relished the crisp air in the colder months and the soft breeze in the warmer months. This walk was a time for thinking. I zoned out and allowed any thoughts in my head to turn over and salivate. It usually took me approximately one cigarette to get home. Sometimes two if it was the summer and I was in a good mood. 

Greenpoint, Brooklyn, of which I called home, was nice enough. I thought back to the expensive brownstone that my aunt, whom I used to live with, owned in Williamsburg. She kicked me out when I was nineteen after she found me passed out in the bathtub the morning after a bender. I ashed my cigarette and walked up my steps to a brownstone that had been split into four different apartments. The flight of stairs up to my second floor residence was always littered with cigarette butts but at least it was safe. 

Once I took off my coat, I brewed a pot of tea. My aunt always had the most disgusting coffee brewing so I never got into that harsh black liquid. I shuddered just thinking about it. I wondered how she was doing. After I moved out, we called each other every now and then for a few months but that slowly trickled to nothing. It’s been two years since I talked to her. 

Our relationship was never that close and that was fine with the both of us. We were more like roommates than relatives. She had her life, I had mine. The only rule we had was to keep the noise down. I moved in with my aunt at ten years old when my mother was murdered. My father was so distraught over her death he fled the country and started a new life for himself. I never really cared too much to contact him. 

Only once when I was 17 did I try to find him but it led to too many dead ends. And that was the end of my curiosity. I found out during this research that my mother was shot during a gang fight when she got caught in the misfire. Sometimes I had nightmares about her mangled body on the street, cold and lifeless. The funeral was stuffy and quiet. I don’t recall much else.

I attended a public school in Brooklyn that I can’t quite recall. Could have been PS 144 or PS 81. I can’t say I learned too much. I had my first job waitressing at 16 and subsequently stopped caring about school. However, my aunt disagreed with this belief. She held education to a high regard and wouldn’t let me drop out. The only time she showed real parenting. I walked across the graduation stage alone and came home to my aunt who was two bottles of wine deep, passed out on the couch watching “Jeopardy” alone. 

We were both addicts and I guess that’s why we didn’t work out as “roommates”. Our front door was a revolving portal for men, booze, and bad decisions. I guess that’s where all my bad influence comes from, but I probably would have ended up the same way either way. 

I sipped my tea and stuffed my hand into a bag of chips. My apartment was small, more like a studio if anything. If you opened the door too fast, it would swing right into the kitchen, which then banged loudly against the counters, a clear design flaw. The kitchen was on the right, a living room/dining room straight ahead. A bedroom with an attached bathroom was on the left. 

All of my furniture and decorations I had bought second hand or taken for free off the street. I saved my money for things I actually cared about, like clothes, coats, shoes, makeup, and handbags. All the second hand stuff made the apartment eclectic and cozy. There was a large window that faced the west, so the setting sun would bring golden light and warmth in the afternoon. My brown tabby cat, whom I had named Stella, was currently in her small bed, sleeping next to the radiator. 

I went to the bathroom to take off my makeup, a sweet relief which could only be closely followed by taking off the entrapments of a bra. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and couldn’t help but to pick at my skin imperfections. Squeezing pimples was a nasty habit that I developed during my early tween years and found that I could never drop it.

My green eyes looked back at me. My lips and my eyes were always my favorite features of my face. I loved decorating my face with makeup. I always just got the cheap shit from the drugstore. Once a year I would splurge on a fancy perfume, usually around Christmas or my birthday. 

I ran a brush through my ginger hair which was slightly wavy, but not curly. I had bleached it once at sixteen but had let it fade since. I was debating cutting bangs now. I went back to the living area and grabbed a pack of Parliaments. 

I stepped out onto the fire escape, lighting a cigarette. I rubbed my shoulders, forgetting the chill. The city ambience washed over my body while I inhaled the nicotine. I had dreams once of being a journalist, imagining myself chasing down stories and criminals. That was quickly buried by the time I turned fifteen. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with my life. 

I flicked my cigarette off the balcony and stepped back through the window. I grabbed a knit blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders. I grabbed a beer out of the fridge, put a record on, and sat behind my typewriter. Even though my dreams of being a journalist disappeared, my love for writing never did. When I felt as though I was lost in life, aimless and depressed, I turned to writing. This meant I had dozens of unfinished stories scattered throughout the apartment. 

Most nights I would open a beer and sit in front of the television, watching whatever was on. Sleep would lull my eyes shut after a while and I would stumble to my bed, slip my pajamas on and flop onto my queen size bed which miraculously I had found on the side of the street. I had snatched it up, lugging it all the way home, cursing and crying under its tremendous weight. I saved up to buy a bed frame second hand for it. I did a thorough inspection of the mattress but two years later and I haven’t gotten bugs or itches from it. Being broke makes a person desperate. 

Once my beer reached the bottom of the bottle and my paper ran out of room on the typewriter, I decided to call it a night. I took a hot shower, and got into bed. After a few minutes I felt Stella jump up, meowing her presence to me.

[actual-changeling]

needed to share this with someone, so: my Spotify played Life According To Raechel by Madison Cunningham on shuffle and the lyrics are so Joel and Ellie coded I felt like it was a personal attack towards me, who was just trying to listen to my silly little songs and have a good time.

I know that experience too well, anon, Spotify has thrown so many songs at me that had me almost sobbing over Joel and Ellie.

Literally losing my mind. I wrote a ficlet this morning about Ellie and grief (kinda?) and I never intended to let it see the light of day but now I will put it under the cut for those who are interested in pain. Unofficial title is stairs leaning dusk til dawn.

There is a small house painted blue with worn floorboards and creaky stairs, with dark wooden counters and mismatched furniture, a house she knows every single inch of, a house she can find her way through with closed eyes and hands covering her ears.

It has two bedrooms with matching patterned comforters and an array of books scattered through both of them, there are two toothbrushes in a cup next to the bathroom sinks, shoes in two sizes piling into falling hazards in the hallway.

A blanket is slung over the back of a couch that can fit them both if they try, a collection of movies sorted by how much they liked them, hated them, how much the other hates them; there are enough hair ties covering every surface and pocket of space to last a lifetime.

There is a dirty set of dishes in the sink, a mug saying worlds best grandpa next to another one with a hand-drawn dinosaur in the cupboard, cold coffee drowning the bottom of the can, staining it brown.

Fresh flowers on the kitchen table and two pillows in one bed because it's winter, because they were cold, because there is only one thing she wants after fire and blood and metal. Laundry set aside to be folded later, a half-read comic on the nightstand, sheets unmade, messy, waiting.

Sunlight breaking through the blinds, opened to let in the warmth, snow a layer of white powder frosting plants and flowers they know will come back in the spring like they do every year; two badly wrapped gifts hidden away in the bottom drawer of the living room cabinet, Ellie scrawled on one of them, Joel on the other. They always chose the same hiding place.

She picks up the sweatshirt left behind on her bed and presses it to her face, inhaling deeply enough to let the scent coat her lungs, deeply enough to make it stay. The fabric is soft against her cheeks, soft like his palms, soft like his lips when he kisses her temple, soft and warm and alive, and there is an unfinished drawing on her desk and a half-carved guitar on his and a song written by both their hands.

Their home has stilled and the rooms are a collection of their lives, a museum she walks through without having to think because it is her, it is him, and now she leaves her fingerprints on the mirror for the last time, for evidence, next to eyes she knows aren't his but might as well be.

His voice is in every scuff mark she kicked into the floor, every bruise she got from bumping into the door frame, every stain they left while laughing, while living, and she wraps her arms around herself and lays her fingers into the spaces between her ribs, emptiness where it shouldn't be.

Someone will dust off their strawberries when the sun melts the snow and turns their yard into green grass and mud, they will return, resilient in bloom, and Joel was waiting for that, for them to be reborn in the way they were, and the house is waiting for him to come back, too.

Ellie pulls on his shirt, sleeves too long, one last embrace, and there are so many memories she could take but the only one she picks up is the gun he left in his jacket, wearing nothing but trust instead. She locks the door behind her, breaths dissipating into the cold, turning it into a time capsule never to be buried while they will be.

There is a small house painted blue with worn floorboards and silent stairs, with empty wooden counters and lonely furniture, a house she knows every single inch of because they turned it into home, a home Joel expected to come back to.

He never did.

Neither will she.

[catsanddishes]

About two months ago I posted about Emily's health - we'd been to the vet for urinary issues twice in as many weeks at that point, and we didn't have a definitive answer yet. I want to write up the narrative of what's been happening just to get it down mostly for myself, so this will be a long post about medical stuff, please read with care if you read at all. Or, please enjoy these photos of Emily napping on my tummy in bed and skip the novel if you like. I'll put a tl;dr at the bottom.

BACKSTORY

At the time of the last post (Aug. 15) we were assuming some kind of kidney or bladder stone - her bloodwork was fine, and two cultures for UTI came back negative. Stones are hard to diagnose and can be really small and there were some crystals in her urine so it seemed likely. She also had extremely diluted urine, which was strange since the bloodwork showed normal kidney function (cats often suffer kidney problems in old age - Em is 12). But she does love her water fountain so maybe she was just over-hydrating in her desire to feel better.

Her primary symptom was that she would suddenly freeze and pee in the middle of whatever she was doing - napping, often. She'd stand up, pee, and then stare around confusedly and yowl over it. And I mean, like, yowl. The first time it happened, I realized my spouse had left the litter boxes stacked after cleaning up in the cat closet (this actually took me a bit to figure out because I wasn't totally sure if she'd just spit up water or peed, that's how diluted her urine was). So maybe she'd gone 24 hours without peeing since the box wasn't super accessible. But it happened twice again the next day, and we thought maybe she gave herself a UTI from holding it in or something?? We took her in to the emergency vet since it was a weekend, saying she's peeing outside the litter box. The doctors asked, is she straining to urinate? To which I had to say, well, I don't know? I've not caught her in the littler box trying and failing, I only know that she's suddenly peeing and seeming very startled by it. There's no posturing or effort as far I can tell, but what do I know, I'm not a doctor? She seemed uncomfortable, but more because it took her by surprise and sometimes ended up with wet legs from her own pee.

Both the emergency vet and regular vet follow-up eliminated UTI and confirmed "perfect" bloodwork. So the litter box stacking was maybe a red herring or made a stone get worse? We got her on a urinary care prescription food that's also supposed to be good for "stress" (tbh, Emily has always been an anxious cat - she overgrooms, and has a belly empty of fur because of it). The food would help break up stones, and she was on a painkiller to help with any pain that urinating might be causing.

AFTER THE AUGUST 15TH POST

When we ran out of one form of the painkiller a little less than a week after her visit with the regular vet, she made it maybe 24 hours before she had another peeing episode. She'd been okay for a few days at that point. I had been reluctant to keep her on painkillers as a permanent thing, but we got more since it was the one thing that seemed to be reliably helping. And we could get it in a capsule format which we could pop open and mix the powder into her new wet food for easy intake. At least her pee was more normal colored (and unfortunately smelling), so the urinary care food was obviously doing some good.

But she was still having episodes after a few more days and they seemed to happen when the painkiller would be wearing off. The episodes were also getting worse over the course of the month throughout this whole thing. She started huffing and drooling a bit when they happened. She stopped yowling about it, though. We thought we would just have to wait it out til the food improved her insides. But the episodes kept happening and she was freezing up for longer each time and drooling more. Her tail would puff out. We thought, could she possibly be having seizures?? But none of these incidents lasted more than maybe 20-30 seconds, and again, we're not doctors, what do we know... We thought we just have to be patient, pick up the new painkiller script, she'll get better. Maybe these are panic attacks she's having since the peeing is upsetting and it'll get better when her GI tract is settled.

THE SCARY PART

On August 26th, I had given Em her morning food with painkiller and was getting read to go to work. My spouse had already left. Emily, sitting near her food dish, suddenly froze up and peed and I was exasperated, but this time instead of drooling a bit and shaking it off, she panted like she couldn't breath, drooled like a fountain and it didn't stop. I tried to touch her to pet her and calm her down. She flailed. She tried to scramble away, but her legs didn't seem to want to work. She crashed into a nearby box and fell over. She lay on her side twitching and huffing and drooling and I knew it was a seizure and I thought I was watching my baby die. I was afraid to touch her so I sat on the floor crying over my cat for maybe 45 seconds, maybe a minute, while our other cat sat nearby looking confused, and then she rolled over onto her belly and breathed normally. She was dazed for another minute, but then was up and demanding to be fed. Every episode would always be followed by demands for snacks, so at least it was easy to get her to eat the new food. Still crying, I fed her and called my spouse to get off at the next train stop and come home, we had to take her back in.

Emily hates the carrier and she hates the car. The emergency vet we trust is right near my work, but it's a half an hour by car and often 45 minutes to an hour in morning traffic. She cries almost the whole time every time, no matter how often we go. Though once at a vet, she's always very good and doesn't fight the techs and doctors at all. She's a very good girl minus the crying, and everyone loves her.

It was a long day at the hospital. I went into work for a few hours because it was a Monday, and that's the day that I have to order all the supplies for the shop for the week. It's difficult to pass off on someone else on short notice. I told the hospital staff I was bringing her in for what sure fucking looked like a seizure an hour ago, and now I was re-evaluating all her other episodes in this light. I only had video of the tail end of a much earlier incident, it was in poor light and just showed her looking puffy and drooling a bit. I hadn't videoed that morning because my phone wasn't in my hand and I was afraid to leaver her side. The doctors were baffled, and still were describing her episodes as "straining to urinate". But they prepared a list of tests and boxes to tick to figure things out. Hoping to actually find the stones they assumed were in there, they suggested an ultrasound. I thought, I'm pretty sure that's not it at this point, but it's probably best to truly eliminate all the possibilities before we go on to MRIs or whatever else was on their barrage. I don't even remember anymore. There were a lot of technical words thrown at us.

THE DIAGNOSIS

The ultrasound came back with this: there's a mass in her intestine. It's probably cancer. A biopsy confirmed: gastrointestinal lymphoma. The emergency doctor wasn't sure exactly how this was causing the peeing problems, since it's not affecting the kidney or the urinary tract directly, but maybe something was putting pressure on something else. She thought we'd caught it early, but it was possible it was elsewhere and just not showing up as a mass elsewhere yet.

We made an appointment with the oncology department for Wednesday morning. We thought, even if the doctors aren't convinced yet, we are. Its seizures and this cancer is in her brain. But we'll go to the specialist and see what they say. I took video of her next episode, though the seizures she had in the day between the visits were much more mild and shorter and she didn't fall over, though she wobbled. The oncologist didn't feel comfortable saying for sure it was seizures from the video, but while she was in on Wednesday, she had one, and the oncologist got the neurologist to come look at her while it was happening. They confirmed yep, seizure, and she can't see (or hear, likely, though how would you test that) while it's happening. That's why she freaked when I touched her on Monday because she didn't know what was touching her. I probably made that one worse.

The prognosis was - without treatment (or rather, just drugs to make her feel better, but not do anything about the cancer) she'd have maybe a couple weeks, maybe a month. With chemo, she could have 4 to 6 months, maybe a year if she's in the 5% who respond really well. There's also 5% whose cancer won't respond at all. Chemo for cats isn't like human chemo. You can't get so aggressive that you actually eliminate all the cancer. You can't explain to a cat what's happening, and chemo makes you feel sick. Like you're dying if you're a human. If a cat thinks they're dying for an extended period of time, they will probably die. They'll just shut themselves down, they don't know it's temporary, they can't understand your reassurances. So the chemo is just enough to reduce the cancer without making them feel too sick. You can't give them enough to totally eliminate it, unfortunately, just buy time.

The course of chemo we chose is one pill every three weeks for six doses. This option was the only one that was a form of chemo medication that can cross the blood-brain barrier and get at the cancer that's somewhere in there giving her seizures. Each dose is a hospital visit so they can check her bloodwork to make sure she's well enough to handle the chemo. At home, she has to take a steroid once a day to combat the chemo depressing her appetite and to make her feel better overall. She also will have to take anti-seizure medication for the rest of her life (assuming her life extends beyond the course of the chemo treatment).

All of this will cost us somewhere in the range of $7k over the course of treatment. On top of the costs we'd already paid: two emergency hospital visits, one regular vet visit, prescription food, and other medications. Emily is going to cost us as much as the HVAC unit we had to replace earlier this year. Between these two things, we're wiping out a huge chunk of savings. We're lucky my spouse has a decently well-paying job with regular raises. We're lucky I took on a second job for a while and got a raise at my full time. We're lucky I'm done with student loans and his got suspended during some of the pandemic and next year he'll be able to get the rest forgiven. We have the money to do this and I'm so grateful we can afford it.

THE NEXT SIX WEEKS / TREATMENT

So we go home with one radioactive cat (litter box must be cleaned promptly when she goes and with gloves for a couple days after each dose), and two new medications. We wean her off the painkiller pretty much after the first day or two because, while it may have been helping her be a little more chill, it's clearly not the most effective drug of our little pharmacy. The anti-seizure medication must be given 3x day, every 8 hours. The steroid is once a day. We started off with liquid versions of the two new meds, and the anti-seizure one she ate no problem mixed into her (expensive, probably not necessary but we bought two cases of it) wet food. The steroid smelled terrible, even to me. Like fake oranges or strawberries? She absolutely refused it, even with tuna, so I was forced to try to shove a syringe full down her throat and hope some of it made it down. After two attempts at that, we emailed the hospital so I could pick up a pill version and we got some pill pocket treats. That worked much better.

The first 24 hours, she still had three seizures. Even though the meds should have started working within hours. The hospital team said the dose range could go up to .5ml more than what was listed on the bottle, so we upped her to the max and the seizures stopped. This medication also has side effects of tiredness and potentially lessened appetite. But she bounced back within couple days and was eating normally and seemed to be in good spirits. We also got a pill version of this one since she seemed to like the pill pockets, and that way we could just give her the little bit of extra dosage in the wet food and not be trying to make her eat it all in her food.

The first three weeks went well. She got to her second chemo dose with flying colors. It was such a relief to not be cleaning cat pee out of the carpet or scrubbing tile or running blankets through the wash several times a day, and worrying about her next episode constantly. The hardest part was days when my spouse had to be in the office rather than work from home (my work is retail, no way to do that from home..), so the timing of her 3x a day was messed up. It's really only once a week since I have one weekday off that overlaps with one of his in-office day, and the other day he's in, I get off an hour earlier (which is still not exactly on time for her afternoon dose, but close enough). But she didn't have problems after that initial adjustment period.

She got a second dose of chemo. Her appetite started to wane, and a few days after I'd told the doctor how great she was at eating pill pockets, she bit one in half by accident, got the taste of the pill in her mouth, and was put off the treats. We had bought several bags, of course. We got a different flavor and thought, we'll come back to this first one. Nope, she wasn't having it. Flat out refused to even lick a pill pocket treat. So we switched back to putting the full dose of anti-seizure in her food and topping it with tuna to get her to eat it. Three times day we had to sit with her and coach her through a bowl, making sure she got at least 90% of it down, and making sure Isabel didn't eat any of it. If we put some fresh catnip leaves on it towards the end, that usually got her to finish it up. Thank goodness the catnip seeds sprouted and did well this year.

But the steroid we just had to give her the pill, since that didn't come in any other appetizing form. It's a very small pill, so I was mostly just holding her down and shoving it in her mouth. It's a good thing we've had 12 years of love and affection and she trusts me not to hurt her. She didn't like it, by any stretch, but it was going okay.

My spouse wasn't as good at it, though, and as we approached the midway point to the next chemo, she was seriously struggling to eat We had to start giving her the anti-seizure in pill form just to make sure she got it. That also means she was getting a smaller dose of it, since we weren't able to get her to eat a follow up little bit in wet food. The only thing she wanted to eat was treats.

So it's week three and we're having to give a cat 4 pills a day - 8:30am, 5:30pm, 8pm (steroid), 12:30am. She hates it, and increasingly fights us over it. We get a pill shooter that holds the pill so you don't have to put your fingers in an angry cat's mouth. It helps a bit, but sometimes it takes 4 tries before we can get it down her throat. She spits, she drools to try to keep it out of her. If you catch her sleepy, she fights less, but if she's not sleeping somewhere convenient, she'll know what you're up to when you pick her up. We try various other foods to make "pill pockets" out of, but none work more than once. It's a bad week and half leading up to the next chemo. We're exhausted, we're emotionally wrung out. We have scratches all over our hands. I've got a fingernail cracked with a bruise underneath where she bit down hard.

WHERE WE ARE NOW

At her third appointment, it's time for the midway tests to see how well the cancer is responding. The good news is that the mass in her intestine is noticeably reduced!

We also get the bad news that her bloodwork shows the kidney function is low. It's probably just an infection since her immune system is shot, but it means she can't have chemo today and she needs to take an antibiotic to treat it. They send us home with an ear cream to stimulate appetite and the antibiotic is once a day and supposedly a yummy chewable tablet. The ear cream is demon magic and we can give her the anti-seizure in food again. We keep her at the smaller dose size, though, since she still hasn't had any seizures, even with all the stress.

The bottle of antibiotics says "highly palatable" and "keep well sealed", as if it's so good cats are going to be clawing at the lid to get at it. WHAT A LIE. She doesn't eat it with her treats or the brand new bag of dry food (her favorite after treats). I chop it up and chop up treats to go with it. That works once. I chop it up and hide it in tuna. That sort of works, but she's clearly not thrilled about it, despite the magical hunger-inducing ear cream. And it puts her off the wet food again, though she's crazy for the fresh bag of dry food.

Somehow we make it through one more week, and though her kidneys aren't perfect, they are improved enough for chemo. That was this past Monday - Oct. 14th. They said we have to keep up the antibiotics for another week to make sure the infection is cleared out. I'm not sure how we'll trick her into several more days of it, but I've just done a new dose of ear cream since her appetite for dry food was waning again. She happily downed wet food with tuna sans meds today, so we'll try that again with her anti-seizure tonight.

The doctors also said we could try to bring her down to anti-seizure meds just twice a day since she's doing so well and hasn't had a breakthrough seizure on the smaller dose. So we're on day three of that and okay so far, no seizures. Twice a day actually will let us live our lives a little more easily. My spouse is out of the country next week, so if you've made it this far, pls send me good vibes while I do this on my own!

GOOD NEWS

The good new overall is that Emily has responded really well in an existential sense to all this. She had been hiding inside the couch, being very lethargic, etc. before we got the cancer diagnosis. She acted like a very ill cat for several weeks, seemingly out of the blue. Up til then, you wouldn't have even guessed that she was technically elderly. Now although she has good and bad days on energy, she's no longer hiding. At all. Not even to get away from being given meds. I think the only times she's gone inside the couch has been to hide from the vacuum cleaner. She sleeps with me every night. She comes to sit on a lap and purrs within 20 minutes of shoving pills in her. She clearly doesn't think she's sick, even if she does have lethargic days sometimes. I think she might on some level understand that we're trying to help her - or at least, we're not trying to hurt her - even though her body makes her fight us on pills and she can't help how she feels about food. She's such a good cat. I can't express how much I love her.

At the outset when we got the diagnosis, I thought, she'll make to Christmas probably... maybe... I couldn't see past the end of the year, honestly. I'm feeling a lot more optimistic that she could make the full six months, maybe longer now. I'm still not looking very far into the future, and mostly I'm just treasuring every peaceful moment I have with her. It's still a very day-by-day thing. I'm never sure how well she'll take her meds and that still gives me anxiety at every dose. But I'm going to be getting more sleep now that I don't have to do medication at midnight, so that helps with the mental/emotional stability. We're doing mostly okay now. I'm so glad all the drugs do their jobs and make her feel normal.

TL;DR

Emily appeared to be having urinary issues, but they were, in fact mini seizures that made her lose bladder control, caused by cancer (lymphoma). She's halfway through a course of chemo and seems to be responding well to it - it will buy her six months to a year at best. Giving cats medication is hard, and this whole thing has wrung us out, emotionally (and $$). But Em doesn't know she's sick anymore and she's as sweet as ever when you're not making her take pills!

[matthewbw]

Can’t believe they make size 8 now. Kinda glad they didn’t when I was younger or I’d have these til my teens at night. My mom swore by Huggies for the longest time. It wasn’t until I soaked through one on a ski trip in high school on the ride home when I fell asleep that she changed her mind. Finally got Goodnites and felt so good to change myself like they were undies at night. Luckily I kept my ski pants on so no one saw. But when I got home my thermals underneath were soaked and smelled so my mom knew. Undressing is when she said what I had been waiting for, “Maybe it’s time for some bigger boy diapers.” Goodnites I asked and she nodded her head saying she’ll pick some up the next day when shopping. I said I was sorry I fell asleep on the bus home and the hot chocolate really did a number on me. But I was so happy to get out of baby diapers at night I barely whimpered. It had only been a couple years of being back in them at night but always so embarrassed. Like did the checkout person know they were for me. Fast forward to buying pull-ups for bigger kids and I’m sure they did but I didn’t care cuz I could change myself. Put it on before bed and tear it off in the morning without powder. Wearing and wetting at night wasn’t embarrassing cuz it was my secret. But my mom having to change me at that age was what got me. And I’ll never forget the Thanksgiving ride to grandmas just before that ski trip. The night before I was out at the football rally bonfire so stayed up late as a sophomore in HS. Got up early and super tired so my mom just changed me into a dry diaper. On the way there I fell asleep and wet again. So when we got to grandmas my mom was like I think we’re gonna stay in diapers today in case you fall asleep again. So she changed me at my grandmas and I was fine all day. Playing Mario Kart with my cousins. The ride home I dozed off and wet yet again. But we hit traffic and my mom was worried id leak. So once it cleared she pulled into a rest stop and changed me in the back seat. That’s where it really got to me. Strangers could see and all I could feel was the worst. A teen not a toddler being so vulnerable like that. Strangers granted but still. That’s when I wanted pull-ups so bad and asked but my mom just said they don’t work as well. She knew from potty training my sister few years earlier and a blowout in Target. I was like mom this is different. I’m not gonna have a blowout lol. She just said we’ll see then. But after the holidays and that massive leak it changed finally and I was so happy. Had they made bigger than 6 then it might have gone another way. Wasn’t about waist but hold. Like when I had to switch from Goodnites to Abenas in college. Goodnites still fit now and I wear for fun sometimes but always leak through them. Maybe I’ll try these for fun just for memories but I know how it’ll go. More laundry and then back to reality.

On your JFF do you have any videos of you putting yourself into those pampers size 8 diapers?

Why, what a wonderful idea!! Let me get right on that!

Ask and you shall receive!!

~ Video up now ~ 👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻

[m1111kaylaspoetry]

Dear Me A Year Ago,

(7 march 2024)

well, it’s been a year and some change.

what i mean by that is that it’s been a bit more than a year, and that you’d be pleased to hear

things are different.

you got that job you so badly wanted.

you’re good at it.

at first, it was information overload, you were a little daunted

(which you love)

but now the steps for every process are pure habit.

a few of your coworkers are now close friends,

and not just we-work-together-so-lets-agree-to-pretend

we actually really like each other.

you gained back the 35 pounds

(give or take a pound of flesh)

people still poke and prod at your ribs,

but they’re just being glib.

i hope Me In A Year looks and feels her best yet

i got you a new bedset, and moved your bedframe back to the corner.

where you feel safer

with gray blankets that are softer

and a big thick heavy black one that’s warmer

and a bunch more pillows for you to rest your weary head

some things haven’t changed,

it’s 5 a.m. as i write this, lying in our bed.

and we still haven’t fallen asleep.

i think it’s just a night owl thing.

it’s always been this way, and who am i to break the chain?

sometimes, I get sick of trying to tuck you in and i just feed you powders and potions that put you to sleep.

it’s either that, or the sun comes up and we’re still up and then the birds are up and they start to sing and it makes our eyes and ears bleed.

oh! nosebleeds. haven’t had one of those in a long time. those were super weird, right?

remember when you used to get random crimson waterfalls, breaking the flood wall and spraying all over the place?

can’t remember the last one.

the boy you’ve loved since middle school red-string-roped you back into his life and…

well, i think you’ll find this to your delight, he’s mine!

you guys always pick back up right where you leave off.

he’s in a different state

it’ll be a few more weeks til he comes back

and then we’ll know what the hell WAS THAT???? HE ASKED YOU TO MARRY HIM IN THE WINTER!!! i wish i could astral project out of my body just so i could join hands with you and jump up and down in excitement like those scenes in the movies.

i hope he does.

i hope he does marry you.

i hope he does marry us.

I hope he does marry me.

i hope we get married.

i cannot WAIT to hear from Me In A Year and your update because??? wtf!

anyways

you’re gonna sign up for classes and start pursuing your bachelors in psychology. seriously.

you go to raves and concerts like the world’s ending. you dance like it already did.

you got more metal put in your body. i think you had … 4 piercings last time we wrote? ears, septum, smiley?

you have … 10 now.

you’ve got 2 more tattoos and more to come.

this summers going to be fun.

you’re doing good. and i’m proud of you. i wasn’t sure you were going to make it (that’s not true at all; it was just dog days. hell and back, baby!)

i reread something you wrote back then and it was pretty…sad.

good news is, your brain works again.

you feel like you again.

you read, you write, you draw, you take pictures, you laugh, you dance, you sing.

you eat, and clean, and shower.

you smoke cigarettes on rare occasion now instead of the electric digital modernized version. not great, but…better?? i dunno.

might actually be worse.

not sure.

guess we’ll find out from Me In 40 Years if we have lung cancer.

i really REALLy hope not but;

if we do, it’s because of the matcha powder at work you inhale every time you make an iced matcha, and it definitely has nothing to do with the tar i’m currently putting in our lungs.

Me A Year Ago, i am so glad you’re alive.

to Me 6 Years Ago, thank you for waiting for your golden goodie. it was worth it.

to Me, in one year, i hope things are well. i think you deserve it, and i’m trying my best to earn it.

[theallenshorefangirl]

Small wholesome conversation between Sorrow and Shade cause they have huge older bro younger sister vibes (and would spout out Vines for days)

* The room they were in had a dial to change the setting from beautiful eclipses and different colored moons and phases. A ocean whitenoise box plays in the background as a teapot whistled loud*

Shade:*he wasn't in his pit form but more of a ghostly human like skeleton.instead of his brown hair, it was black and had an asphalt like texture,his eyes was a black scalea and yellow iris could be seen from his glasses and had a half mask that almost looked like sorrows only it was a black asphalt like mask with with the fangs. He wore a full black t-shirt and pj pants with his jacket and had slippers on* (it's his chill/nap time) Sorrow? Sorrow? Dang it Sorrow were are you.

Sorrow:*she was carrying a tray of snacks with some hot coco powder in two glasses and sets them down near the teapot* what do you want?

Shade:I was wondering if you needed help. I know you can sometimes get overwhelmed with stuff. *He cleaned a spot for the three tiered tray of fresh baked treats*

Sorrow:no it's fine,I got a chill up my spine and I can't find my ink sweater and you know how I get without it.

Shade:*he grabs her fuzzy blanket and lays it on her shoulders* Here, just wears this til we find it ok,I mean, I get like that when I don't have my jacket even in the heat.I always bring a jacket with me *he took off his jacket*

Sorrow:*she pours the hot water into the coco powdered cups that waft a nice chocolate smell.She then decorates it with whipped cream,shaved dark chocolate and a toasted marshmallow and even added some sprinkles* here carefully now I know how you get with melting

Shade:Oh, I got it under control, well, only here outside in my little area its hard.

Sorrow:it must be *the masks' fanged teeth dropped down as she yawns and took a bite of the scone treat.and she remembered she Usually covered her mouth when yawning or eating and nervously turned to the Shade who's mask did the same.they both laughed aloud.*

Shade:hey it's fine you made this mask for me remember it's so cool and spooky *he had cookie crumbs all over his half mask* and man these cookies and scones are delicious!

Sorrow:*she laughed and sipped her coco* it is pretty good *she got upcand changed the rooms dial to a more yellow and lilac sky that was calming to the eyes and the star and moon patern was a dark blue* is that good?

Shade:*he nods* perfect for a small nap *he finished his coco and yawns * ok, you silly goose time for a nap! *he looked around, but she was like gone*

Sorrow:*she snuck up behind him in her 3rd form,breathing down his neck* Boo

Shade:*he jumped about 3 ft in the air and fell backward* Holy shit, dude, don't do that! *he gave her a you really just did that look before laughing*

Sorrow:*she turns back into her first phase and hugs him* Did I do good? You know I was practicing for when you know who comes!

Shade:*he nods* you sure did! I mean didn't you see me jump!? That's so cool!

Sorrow:good to *yawns* know *she nodded as she fell asleep*

Shade:*he packed her to a giant bed that had a moon veil that draped over the top of the bed. He tucked her in and quietly sang a tune.Whwn she was asleep, he shut the door and cleaned up the small area they had coco and cookies at and turned off all the lights,it lights up with the glow stars and moons allover the room* Rest well *he leaves*

(Give him an award for best brother ○,□,○)