#tijuana wellness

[actualgoron]

song of the day

[soupcrouton]

Good morning *explodes*

[incorrigibledecomposition]

band recommendations from a black punk !!

tl has been discussing poc in alternative scenes specifically punk scenes recently. punk has been a big spintrest for me for a while so id thought id share some bands with poc members that deserve love!!

im more into hxc punk so most of these bands will be hxc subgenres. i will be adding genre’s and country of orgin!! not adding any links for now, look out for any edits.

hong kong fuck you , grindviolence from tijuana, mexico. a project of christian hell, has latino and black members

zulu , powerviolence from los angeles, california, usa. originally a solo project of anaiah lei, all members are black

zyanose , noisy hardcore punk from osaka prefecture, japan. all members are japanese

g.i.s.m. , hardcore punk / heavy metal band from tokyo, japan. all members are japanese

limp wrist , queer hardcore punk from albany, new york, usa. martin sorrondeguy is latino (also apart of los crudos)

los crudos , hardcore punk band from chicago, illinois, usa. all members are latino

despise you , powerviolence band from californa, usa. some if not all members are latino

bad brains , hardcore punk band from washington, d.c, usa. all members are black (probably the most well known band on this list)

gorepot , stoner brutal / slam death metal / grindcore band from taiwan. solo project. their genre is complicated and they aren’t exactly punk but they deserve some love

sebum excess production , deathgrind band from from brazil. solo project (?)

c.a.r.ne , pornogrind band from mexico city, mexico. all members are latino

bodily stew , goregrind band from california, usa. ive heard that eddie and david are latino but i may be wrong

mxmxm , mincegore band from coachella, california, usa. might be a solo project but but ive heard they are latino

chulo , grindviolence band from bogatá, colombia. all members are latino

soul glo , hardcore punk band from philadelphia, pennsylvania, usa. 2 of the current members are black

taqbir , post-punk band. moroccan but based somewhere in europe. all members of the band are anonymous (?)

ill be adding onto this list as i go (im a little tired now) but please recommend bands for this list!!

[radiantcircle-if]

The Radiant Circle

The Radiant Circle is a work-in-progress contemporary fantasy interactive novel with elemental magic, a heavy hand of romance, and a salt-sprinkle of mystery. The story is rated 18+ and may contain triggering content for some.

↪ introduction (updated 7/22/24) ⟢ demo (upcoming fall/winter)

You were born without any magic into a long lineage of sorcerers who serve the Night Circle—a division of the Radiant Circle, the central governing body that maintains order among sorcerers. Even now when you live outside of the magical community, you’re still required to report to the local leadership about the magic you still don’t have.

Of course, only after having accepted a life without magic, you awaken a latent magical power too great to be yours. Myths speak of such a sorcerer, a Resonant Soul capable of mastering all four elements, reincarnated throughout history to bring balance to the magic community. So little is truly known, but that can’t be you.

But what if it is?

Thankfully, as an investigative journalist, what you do best is hunt for the truth. To unravel the secrets of your soul, you’re forced back into the world of sorcery to navigate ancient rivalries and contend with those who may fear your newfound power and seek to bury it for good. 

Because while most didn't believe the myths to be true, others have been preparing for your return. Most of all? You four souls bonded to yours for eternity.

Play as the main character ⟢

Choose your name, appearance, gender, and sexuality.

Develop your personality as a harmonizer or disruptor—will you bring unity or will you bring destruction?

Gain mastery over elemental magic as the Resonant Soul—how much mastery in each element is up to you.

Travel the world while earning or losing influence through your decisions—will your reputation precede you or will you remain unknown?

Five romance options ⟢

Two pansexual men, one lesbian, and two gender-selectable romance options... and a hidden sixth romance option... with the potential for more to unlock later.

Four soulmates who will be revealed over the course of the story—your bonds, whether platonic or romantic, are yours to develop.

And if you don’t like romance, you can improve your friendships instead.

Or if you’re a misanthrope, deteriorate all your relationships to your liking.

Good endings? Check. Bad endings? Also check.

You ✦ 26-year-old journalist from Seattle, USA (ℹ) Rejected by the magical community because your magic never awakened, you once sought to understand why before later turning to a career of journalism to attempt to uncover truths that don’t have to do with magic. Your dissertation was titled “Unveiling the Hidden: A Comparative Study of Secret Societies and Their Influence on Modern Media." After landing your dream job as an investigative journalist, you're returning home to Seattle for your assignment.

⟡ tropes include main character (surprise! you're the main character), insider/outsider, the most wanted (because you are a…), person of mass destruction, (possible) living legend, (possible) lust object, (seemingly) cosmic plaything…

Arseau Nassiet ⟡ High Justicar 31-year-old water sorcerer (he/him) from Seattle, USA (ℹ) A talented water sorcerer, your older brother Arseau is well loved within the Night Circle's upper echelons, but he'd never brag about it. He has been away from home for over a decade, raising ranks within the circle alongside his best friend. He coordinates his visit home with yours during the holidays so he can see his favorite younger sibling (never mind that he has only one sibling—you).

⟡ tropes include protective older brother, brainless beauty (yeah, he's a himbo), the caregiver/caretaker, the confidant (if you want), the informant, nice guy (someone has to keep the peace between the Pico brothers), the reliable one...

César Pico (RO) ⟡ Archumbricar 31-year-old earth sorcerer (he/him) from Tijuana, MX (ℹ) One of the highest ranking earth sorcerers in the world, César is seen as the unofficial heir of the current Night Luminary—and he takes the role seriously. As your brother's best friend, he has been a permanent fixture in your life as far as you remember—another persistent reminder of the magic that has remained inaccessible to you and the community that left you behind. He's at least an attractive reminder, even if it's unfortunate that his rare smirk proves that he knows it.

⟡ tropes include the hero, the cold & brooding heir, older brother's best friend/forbidden love, age gap, opposites attract, danger deadpan, glory hound, tall dark & handsome (obviously) ⟡ solo-route (with a possible rivalry with his brother), borderline enemies to lovers, (possible first love), forced proximity, maybe the slowest burn

Rafa Pico (RO) ⟡ High Justicar 27-year-old fire sorcerer (he/him) from Tijuana, MX (ℹ) The younger brother of César....and also his left hand man even though he doesn't take his position within the Night Circle very seriously. He doesn't take anything very seriously except his freedom. Especially his freedom to flirt his way into anyone's good graces.

⟡ tropes include the explorer, the charming playboy, childhood/long time friend, (his) unrequited crush (on you), the (horny) bard, speed demon, hell seeker, elegant classical musician... ⟡ solo-route (with a possible rivalry with his brother), friends to lovers but he never really saw you as a friend, forced proximity, slow burn

Gazi Gharib (RO) ⟡ Photojournalist 28-year-old (she/her or he/him) from New York City, USA (ℹ) Your roommate and best friend ever since you moved to NYC, they're always ready to help you investigate something new and dangerous.

⟡ tropes include the innocent, the best friend, the encouraging charmer, the serial romeo, the casanova, agent mulder (the believer), empathetic communicator, spirited competitor, the klutz ⟡ solo-route or poly-route with Deniz, besties to lovers (and you can start at the lover bit if you'd like cause this one is a...), faaaaaast burn

Deniz Yılmaz (RO) ⟡ Private Investigator 26-year-old (he/him or she/her) from Istanbul, TR (ℹ) Your next-door-neighbor and childhood best friend. You haven't kept in close contact, but they're the first person you think of seeing when you visit home.

⟡ tropes include the jester, agent scully (the skeptic), street-smart investigator, hardboiled detective, erudite stoner, literal-minded/snark knight combo, childhood friends, loyal supporter, gadgeteer genius ⟡ solo-route or poly-route with Gazi, childhood friends (or was it more?) to lovers, (possible second chance romance...), somewhere between slow and fast burn

Dr. Noel Sung (RO) ⟡ Journalist 41-year-old (she/her) from London, UK (ℹ) Your graduate school mentor who you credit for preparing you to land a job at The New York Times as prestigious as it is. She's now your direct supervisor, and she has quite the assignment for you.

⟡ tropes include the magician, high-powered career woman, absent-minded professor(/former forbidden love?), age gap, charismatic intellectual, intuitive leader, pragmatic idealist, deadpan snarker, determinator, shrinking violet, (your possible unrequited crush on her goes here)… ⟡ solo-route, workplace romance (technically; she's your boss now), slow burn

An ancient, hidden society of sorcerers ⟢

The Radiant Circle is the central governing body that maintains harmony and order among sorcerers, as well as keep their community secret. It was originally formed and led by the Resonant Soul (called the High Guardian—this is you) and the most powerful elemental sorcerers of the time (called the Founding Guardians—these are the four souls bonded to you) as an alliance of sorcerers from across the New Kingdom of Egypt.

After its formation, the magical community grew, and eventually, the Radiant Circle was divided into four smaller regional circles called the Ephemeral Circles: the Night Circle (you know the most about this one), the Dawn Circle, the Day Circle, and the Dusk Circle. These four circles, also called luminariates, are the main governing bodies of the current world of sorcery. Every known family of sorcerers lives under the eye of the Radiant Circle and one of the four Ephemeral Circles.

Only the Resonant Soul can be the High Guardian of the Radiant Circle. Only the four souls bonded with Resonant Soul can be the Founding Guardians. During periods where the Resonant Soul or the Guardians aren’t alive, these positions are left vacant and the Ephemeral Circles meet as the Radiant Council annually instead. Unfortunately, it's been so long since there has been a Resonant Soul that there aren't many people left who remember who sits at the top of the hierarchy.

You live as a Threshold—an uninitiated sorcerer, typically a child who can't use magic yet—within the luminariate called the Night Circle. You sit at the bottom of the hierarchy, but every other sorcerer you know? César is an Archumbricar, the right hand of the Night Luminary and leader of the Night Circle. Arseau and Rafa are César's High Justicars, his right and left hands. Your dads even play a role, advising the Luminary from their position in the Night Weave.

A single soul that can control all four elements, reincarnated once again—you ⟢

Before you became the Resonant Soul, you were a child born without magic to two prominent sorcerers sometime before recorded human history begins. Back then, it was common to put the child of every sorcerer through a resonance ritual, even children of sorcerers born without magic who always died in the process. But where there's a will, there's a way, and someone really wanted you to live and created circumstances that bound your souls together—one into endless reincarnation and the other into endless immortality.

You meet the four original Guardians over the course of hundreds of years. Your bonds are unique and have chained the fate of their souls with yours so that they are reincarnated in an endless cycle by your side. Even so, you've lived more lives without them than with them, lived more lives without magic than with it. Almost as if you're fighting a losing battle against knowing your true soul.

Only the Resonant Soul can resonate with all four types of elemental magic, but your magic remains locked away until you regain your memories (how're you supposed to regain memories you don't remember you need to regain? then again, how safe would it be to give you all that power and no recollection of all the mistakes you've made?). The Guardians are known for their extraordinary abilities in one element; their magic isn't sealed away, only their memories (which still isn't convenient—how are you supposed to know who they are if they don't know who they are?).

⟢ retweets & asks are welcome! there is no better writing motivation ♡

〉 Sections: Profiles, Editorials, Articles, Ask Me, Answers, Quotes

[water-to-drink]

This Guy’s In Love With You

(Pairing): Diluc x gn!reader

(Synopsis): Diluc is in love and his journey to win your heart

(Tags/Warnings): Pinning, Diluc is whipped, might feel awkward, song fic, (if I missed anything lmk)

(Word Count): 440

Song used as inspiration:

You see this guy, the Diluc Ragnvindr, is love in with you

Yes, the stone cold Master Diluc is love, anyone could tell with the way he looks at you. Who looks at you with the same level of fondness in the young master’s eyes whenever he catches sight of you?

Whenever you flash him your smile that rivals the sun he can tell that the two of you know each other very well

How can he show you how much you captured his heart?

He’s honestly happy that you came into his life. Whenever you come into his bar it instantly brightens up his gloomy day

He pretends to be preoccupied but his attention is always on you, even when you have those conversations you have with your friends on the second floor. His heart exploded with joy when he overheard that you think he’s handsome

With this knowledge he wants to make things happen between you and him. It’s just the question on how. He wishes that he had the courage to ask you himself instead of just eavesdropping on your conversations, being the last to know about you

Pushing his anxiety aside he goes up to you one day to begin courting you. With shaky hands he presses a bouquet of roses to you

Scared of his heart breaking by your rejection, Diluc doesn’t know if he can handle it, cause he needs your love like he needs oxygen, he wants your love like he wants his daily glass of grape juice

You say yes, you’re in love with him

In love with the man in front of you. Diluc is so happy he could die

The two of you being dating and it all feels like a fairytale. Learning everything about you, from your likes and dislikes, your moments of heartbreak. You comfort him with his own moments of heartbreak. Before he knew it your lives slowly blend into each other’s

As the two of you make your way through a field of flowers, he knows that this is the perfect place. Getting down on one knee he pulls out a small box. Don’t let him be the last to know

With shaky hands he presents the box with a ring inside

He hopes that you accept his proposal

As the lingering shock settles down you nod your head with tears in your eyes

So overjoyed he stands up and spins you around, both of your laughter fills the air,

you’re in love, in love with Diluc Ragnvindr

If not he would just die

He stopped spinning you to press his lips against yours

[luv4georgie]

101 dalmatians.

unknown!Oscar Piastri x fem!reader

in which here are a few special moments between young married couple, Oscar Piastri, Y/n Y/l/n and their dogs, Pongo and Perdita.

prompt list

warnings: fluff!!!

walkies. 1 (Pongo POV)

i lived in an old flat in London with my pet, Oscar. although Oscar was Australian we lived in London, he wanted to live here because he thought it was more ‘calming’ and it could be better to pursue his music. Oscar loves playing instruments and singing and writing songs. he wrote songs and lyrics about romance which he new absolutely nothing about. he was a rather handsome man in my case. i just don’t know why he couldn’t find such an attractive mate.

it was 11:00am and Oscar was playing away at the keys on his piano. by the look on poor Oscar’s face, it wasn’t going too well. i was laying on the couch near the window, my head slightly sticking out of it. my eyes wandered as i looked for a lovely young dog with a pet to soothe mine’s loneliness.

my eyes followed a small pug with her head stuck up, her pet looked the exact same. a too short couple, i thought but no, not for Oscar. next i saw a rather fancy breed, a poodle with her head held high, a beautiful trim and a pink bow sat on the neatly kept curls on her head, her pet looked unusually the same as well, nope not Oscar’s type. an old Shih Tzu with her pet, an extremely young Labrador with an extremely young pet. it was a problem, a real problem. but then… well! i do say. the most beautiful creature on four legs. a Dalmatian, just like me. now if only the girl… well! she’s very lovely too!

they were heading for Regent’s park, a perfect meeting place. oh… but Oscar never stops work until after 5, it’ll be to late. but what if… i took my snout and moved the hand over to 5:15. perfect! i barked until Oscar noticed me. i took my red leash in-between my teeth and barked once more. Oscar looked at me, then the clock, then at his watch. he stretched and groaned “after five already?” he asked himself. he changed the time on his watch and stood up. “well then Pongo boy, we best get going” he clasped my leash onto my collar and we were off.

i practically dragged Oscar down the stairs and out the door. i strode down the paths of Regents park, passing multiple dogs i had seen before. i was starting to lose hope. but then i found them. sitting on a bench in-front of a pond. i strode down the path in-front of the woman and her dog. the girl looked up at us a few times. Oscar sat on the grass. i needed to stir up some sort of attention. i took Oscar’s hat off of his head and placed it on the seat next to the pair. and for some odd reason, they left! i tried to follow but Oscar clipped the leash onto my collar. but u still dragged him away. ah-ha! there they were, once Oscar was on his feet, i wrapped my leash around the woman’s legs. they both fell in the water, but, they laughed, and that’s when i knew. they loved each-other and i loved Perdie.

Cruella De-Vil. 2 (Y/n POV)

i was sat on mine and Oscar’s shared couch. me and him were married for about 6 months now. Nanny, our house-keeper brought out our tea and some muffins. “thank you Nanny. Oscar dear! tea-time!” i shouted up to Oscar who was practicing the melody for his new song. it was a rather nice melody, but it just needed some lyrics. Oscar came down and danced around with Pongo, humming his song. my hand covered my mouth as i laughed. then we heard an all-familiar honk of a car. Cruella. Cruella and i went to school together, years ago but we were still friends.

it looked as though Oscar’s ears pricked up at the sound. “oh that must be Cruella. your dearly devoted old friend” Oscar smirked narrowing his eyes at me. he new how much of a self-obsessed person Cruella was. they despised eachother. “Cruella De-Vil. that’s it!” Oscar said again. my eyebrows bunched together. “Cruella De-Vil… Cruella De-Vil… if she doesn’t scare you” he started singing. jumping in-front of me as i headed for the window to see if it was really her. “no evil thing will!” he sung. “oh Oscar!” i said as i swatted his chest playfully. “to see her is to take a sudden… chill!” he carried on. as he sung i felt a finger run up my back and i shouted in surprise. “Cruella, Cruella De-Vil” he stopped, sneaking up to the attic to where he was practicing.

“let her in Nanny!” i shouted as Oscar played the melody loudly. before Nanny could open the door Cruella barged in and walked hurriedly to the living room. “Y/n darling!” she practically screamed. “hello Cruella” she wondered around the first floor of the small house. “where are they? for heaven’s sake where are they?” she shouted repeatedly. “who Cruella?” “the puppies of-course” “they’ll be at-least 3 weeks” i giggled. “would you like some tea?” i asked. “no darling! i’ve got to run! just tell me as soon as the puppies are here!” she boomed with her loud voice as she took off out the door. “goodbye” i said. i flopped down on the couch with a loud sigh. Oscar came down singing again. “you’re no help” i said as i pushed him out of my face, taking me with him.

Oscar spun me around as we danced to his song. we laughed and danced. then we just looked into each-other’s eyes as Pongo barked and jumped around with us. we backed up against a wall and Oscar snuggled his face into my cheek and kissed it. we giggled. “oh you really are an idiot” i chuckled. “i love you” he whispered. “i love you too” then we just stayed there for a few moments, smiling at each-other.

-

should i do a part 2??? thanks for reading and sorry it’s so short!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[shybasementkid]

To convince the hated

warning: again, this is an au. implications and hints of sexual trauma n repressed trauma. also bill

a/n: ill leave WHY ford waited up to interpretation but ill say that he didnt want the outcome. ykw feel free to ship billstan in this au too ok ill stop yapping, enjoy folks!

Stan could barely see anything. His head hurt. He could feel himself bleed from the left side of his face. Everything was dark.

Quick, last things he remembered. That usually worked in states like this. Letter from his brother after ten years. Showing up. Being asked if he was gonna... steal his eyes? By Ford? And then, two fatal shots to his eye and head. Being pulled up on the outside couch. Ford ran up to the house. But he didn't.. come back out.

Was this it? Was he dead? Was he gonna spend forever in a dark void, cold, bloody, and alone? Well, the alone part wasn't exactly new, he supposes. Then, he heard a maniacal laughter that was almost comforting in that situation in the distance. And the one eyed-triangle appeared in front of him.

"WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL! ISN'T IT THE MAN OF THE HOUR, STAR OF THE SHOW, STANLEY PINES? LET ME TELL YA, SIXER'S TOLD ME ABOUT YOU!"

".. What the fuck even are you."

Stan said, backing away. His one functioning eye looked at him with a look of anger, shock, and a dash of shock.

"I'M YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND! NAME'S BILL, BILL CIPHER! AND CAN I ASK YOU IF YOU'VE LOOKED IN A MIRROR RECENTLY?"

He popped a mirror into existence and held it towards Stan. The look in his.. well, eye, twisted into horror. Half of his face was bloodied, with an arrow through his eye and head. He touched his own face.

".. No.. he didn't."

"OH, YES HE DID! AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! SIXER HAD EIGHTEEN MINUTES BEFORE YOU FINALLY KICKED THE BUCKET TO SAVE YOU, BUT HE DIDN'T USE A SINGLE ONE!"

Stan looked down. His look could only be described as unreadable. Everything that ever happened to the twins flowed through his mind like a waterfall.

The nerd he shared a room with for seventeen years had ten real years to hate him and put an arrow through his head. And left him to die, it seemed.

Bill's eye iris turned into a dark blue, as the rest of it turned pitch black. He was hatching a plan.

"TELL ME, KID. DO YOU EVER WANT REVENGE?"

The word revenge seemed similar to the arrow in his eye at that very moment. No. He had only wanted his brother and family back. He never felt.. deserving of more than that, or even just that. Never even felt deserving of an 'I'm sorry' from anyone.

".. No.. and I'm not gonna want it now. He doesn't deserve vengeance upon him.. especially not from me."

"IF HE WAS IN YOUR BOOTS RIGHT NOW, YOU'D ALREADY BE DEAD! HE HATES YOU, GUILTLESSLY, AND YOU'RE SCARED TO WANT REVENGE?"

The look in his eyes twisted into an repeessed anger he's had, deep in his gut for ten years.

Ford did get to hate him. Guiltlessly. He's hated him for a stupid school project for ten years. It sunk in. He might not have gotten into his dream college, but he got thrown out of the house because of it. And yet, he was hated. For ten years.

"WHAT ABOUT SOME OTHER FELLAS? FILBRICK, THE ONES FROM TIJUANA, HELL, YOUR CHILDHOOD BULLY? DON'T YOU EVER GET ANGRY? WELL, MY FRIEND,"

Bill's hand reached forward towards Stan, seemingly catching on fire, in a blue ember.

"YOU GOT THE RIGHT GUY! JUST SHAKE MY HAND, AND I'LL GIVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED!"

".. What's the catch?"

"ALWAYS A CATCH, ISN'T IT? BUT YOU'LL SEE WHAT THE CATCH IS. ONE DAY. DEAL OR NO DEAL?"

Stanley looked down at his hand. Was he really about to do this? Make a deal with the devil?

A devil like the one they warn you about in stories when you were a kid.

.. Fuck it.

Stanley put up his hand and shook Bill's. He heard as he cackled, and when he opened his eyes, he was in a dark, shitty trailer. It was HIM.

The one with the coke back in Tijuana. He was smoking a cigarette, without a trace of remorse or anything. Like he didn't hurt Stanley in such a matter.

And he laughed.

Just low enough for him to view it as far away, but just loud enough for him to look around.

Now he'll know what it's like to be the smallest thing in the room.

Now they'll all know.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/27/2024

every fucking time i step outside the apartment i get smacked in the face with a wet blanket of heat and humidity. this is my second summer in the swamp WHY am i so startled every single time

listening

both off my spotify recommended list: 2 Mello's dead leaves, a funky little instrumental that sounds like driving somewhere with fitful AC when it is so hot the leaves are dropping off the trees.

TV Girl's Taking What's Not Yours is not a song i wholeheartedly enjoy, but the sample of Nixon saying "I am not a crook!" has been stuck in my head all week. and stickiness in the head is the main criteria for a tuesdaysong. i don't know anything about this band but my brother said "you WOULD be the typical TV Girl listener". so that information is now available to everyone.

indie pop with indie frontman voice (get well soon). actually. no. this singer reminds me of shelby the worm from adventure time. plus distinct funk overtones. 70% of the song by volume is a hip-hop-ified sample of an anti-pirating PSA. i think i would probably like this when i am less depressed.

-

reading

really great breakdown of what the fuck is happening with Telegram and why conservatives are so riled up about it.

The quick version of how Telegram became a part of the culture war goes something like this. In April, Uri Berliner, who was then a senior business editor at NPR, alleged a widespread culture of woke at NPR in Bari Weiss’s The Free Press. This led to weeks of discussion about NPR on Twitter and in the right-wing blogosphere. During this saga, several right-wing bloggers attacked NPR’s current CEO and President Katherine Maher, who was previously the CEO of the Wikimedia Foundation, an organization that has been repeatedly attacked by conservatives, Elon Musk, etc. for allegedly having a liberal bias. Maher is also a member of the Signal Foundation’s board of directors. 

this fascinated me as an engineering/infrastructure disaster in process. thanks longreads

Nearly wherever you look, border politics in the United States is animated by a persistent myth: that with enough money and willpower, you could eventually seal off the countries from one another, like apartments that share a 1,954-mile wall. One way to describe decades of militarization on the border is that it serves to make Mexico invisible to residents of the United States. The same might be said of cross-border industrial development: porous to money and airplane parts, hardened to everything else. Straddling one of the busiest land crossings in the world, the Tijuana River offers a stubborn rebuttal, a reminder that both sides of the border constitute a single place. Once the poop is in the water, no amount of barbed wire can get it out.

-

watching

i have watched about a movie a day this week and nothing has like. hit.

The Sisters Brothers (2018, dir. Audiard) was simply not the vibe i was looking for. somewhere between coen brothers and peckinpah. not that i am expecting all movies to have an easily portable moral message delivered to me fortune-cookie style in a silent-film dialogue screen right before the credits play, but what was this About. what was the Story being conveyed to me. this was like an episode of the twilight zone where rod serling goes "damn well that was fucked up" except i went in expecting like. a drama. it's a beautiful movie with great acting except they forgot to put a feature-length-movie plot in it.

Omega Doom (1996, dir. Pyun) is such a strange thing. a cyber-Yojimbo with Rutger Hauer. takes place almost completely within one blasted, snowy little town plaza. Rutger Hauer got "shot in the program" during the great human/robot war and it turned him good.

i think it was marketed very poorly, bc it is NOT an epic science fiction thriller. it was made for about five dollars and is a very talky, meandering, weird little cyber-western. as is the case for all movies with female robots, a lot of weird anxieties about women. i think it would have been way more interesting with a completely genderflipped cast? like push that concept all the way! watching mr hauer mow down a lot of fembots was not the most pleasant experience for me as an alleged woman.

not as good as A Fistful of Dollars but compels me more.

-

playing

hello this is very important. the fallout classic collection will be free on epic starting thursday. thank you for your time.

new major genshin patch this week so i will not shut up about that for a bit. as of time of drafting this i am down to TWENTY SEVEN map markers and fully half of them are card game opponents i haven't beaten.

i want to be a point and click adventure game girl so bad but i am afraid i do not have the point and click adventure game temperament. i am having fun with The Silent Age, a little postapoc thing with a time travel mechanic, but only through heavy reference to a walkthrough. this was free on epic last march and i kind of get why? it was published in 2012, wasn't part of a series and didn't have ongoing monetization, and reviewed well but doesn't have a ton of replayability. probably a great windfall for the studio of like $10k, im curious how many people actually downloaded it during its free week. the kind of self-contained game i personally am glad exists in the world but don't want to pay money for.

some good graph humor.

some good osha humor.

-

making

i love to acquire a container. this tiny little pearlescent blue avon bath oil holder (i thought was a vase in texas thrift but that explains why it was horrifyingly sticky) now holds my double pointed needles and other knitting bits and bobs so they're not buried at the bottom of the vase with the regular needles

[black-arcana]

ARCH ENEMY's ALISSA WHITE-GLUZ Opens Up About Health Scare During Mexican Tour: 'This Is The Most Pain I Have Ever Experienced'

Alissa White-Gluz has apologized to ARCH ENEMY fans for not being able to perform up to her usual high standards during the band's ongoing Mexican tour.

The 39-year-old Canadian-born singer took to her social media on Sunday (December 8) to write: "Mexico - I [love] you! I am seriously blown away by this country. The nature is diverse and gorgeous; the people are warm, friendly, funny, creative and welcoming; the history is fascinating; the architecture is jaw-dropping; the rich culture of music and art is full of colour and beauty; the food is incredible (every city is like a vegan paradise)… I could go on.

"Thank you so much for your understanding and well-wishes. I feel extremely guilty that I cannot give a normal show because you guys absolutely deserve it. I insisted that we should reschedule but that was apparently not possible.

"This might be TMI [too much information] but since the news is out already I just want these amazing fans in Mexico to know how serious this was and that it absolutely is killing me to not be able to give you 100%.

"Trust me - I have broken my ribs on stage and not missed a show, I have performed through bronchitis, complete laryngitis that took months to heal — everything. This is different.

"I had a doctor come to my hotel bed two days in a row and she said 'she is experiencing a total collapse.' My body is so exhausted that I have a hard time walking. I'm confused. Dizzy. Shaking.

"A bacterial infection lodged in my ears and then aggressively spread to all the soft tissues of my upper body. Ears, eyes, throat, lungs, nose… I had pus leaking out of my EYES. Blood leaking out of my nose. I was freezing and sweating simultaneously and had a fever of 102F for over a week. And yes, I did several shows in this state. I was going into shock. It was an infection that was probably lingering for a long time and finally started winning — my body was losing and it was happening quickly. I think if I didn't get the antibiotics when I did I would be hospitalized or dead right now. I have never experienced a more scary medical situation before in my life. This is also the most pain I have ever experienced and I have a very high pain tolerance (like most women).

"I can feel the love from you guys and it is honestly helping me heal. Thank you for your smiling faces in the crowd — they really do cheer me up.

"It will be several weeks or months before I fully recover but when I do — I am demanding that we come back here so I can give you guys the best concert of your lives. Seriously — I have fallen in love with you, Mexico, and I WILL be back to give you 1000% AWG."

ARCH ENEMY played a full set without White-Gluz on December 3 at El Foro Jai Alai in Tijuana, Mexico after the singer became "very sick" and was unable to join her bandmates at the gig.

ARCH ENEMY's Tijuana performance was part of the group's 18-date tour of Mexico, which launched on November 12 in Toluca and is scheduled to wrap on December 11 in Mexico City.

White-Gluz, former vocalist of Canadian extreme metallers THE AGONIST, joined ARCH ENEMY in 2014 as the replacement for Angela Gossow. Angela, who joined ARCH ENEMY in 2000 and made her debut on the now classic "Wages Of Sin" (2001),stepped down as frontwoman and is now focusing on management, while Alissa took her place.

ARCH ENEMY's new album, "Blood Dynasty", is slated for release on March 28, 2025 via Century Media Records.

The band has released three songs so far from "Blood Dynasty": "Dream Stealer" in July, "Liars & Thieves" in October, and the title track, "Blood Dynasty", in December.

"Dream Stealer" marked ARCH ENEMY's first new music since the release of the "Deceivers" album, which came out in August 2022.

"Dream Stealer" was mixed by Jens Bogren and mastered by Tony Lindgren at Fascination Street Studios.

ARCH ENEMY played its first concert with new guitarist Joey Concepcion on April 24 at Musinsa Garage in Seoul, South Korea. The show was part of ARCH ENEMY's 2024 Asian tour.

In December 2023, ARCH ENEMY announced that it had "amicably" parted ways with longtime guitarist Jeff Loomis.

Jeff, who was the main songwriter in his previous group, NEVERMORE, joined ARCH ENEMY in late 2014, but was not involved in the writing for the latter act's last two albums, 2017's "Will To Power" and the aforementioned "Deceivers".

[narcosmx]

“i’m not going anywhere” and “whether you like it or not, you're safest with me” for Ramon please boo 😭🥺💗

Protective Headcannon: Ramon Arellano-Felix

"I had everything under control, Mon, don't flatter yourself" you slur with a giggle as you let yourself into your home and nearly throw yourself on the couch. "Oh yeah, that's why you were cornered with those two guys closing in" Ramon answered, closing the door behind him as your best friend let himself in. You hiss out in disagreement and roll your eyes "Please, I could've handled those pendejos, I mean I did learn from the best" you reminded as Ramon pushed your legs off the couch so he could join you. "Is it so hard to just fucking stay with me?" he reprimands, bringing your legs up to rest on top of his. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know I was talking to Benjamin" you laugh out "Por favor, shut the fuck up" you tease, knowing that the last person you were going to sit here and be lectured by was Ramon. "That's not what I mean" Ramon groans out in frustration, averting your look and focusing on undoing the strap of your heel and getting them off of you. "It's just, whether you like it or not, you're safer with me" The way his voice softened when he explained, losing all of the teasing nature you would have previously expected took you by surprise. You tilted your head, trying to get a read off of him which for the first time was difficult. "I would lose my fucking mind if anything happened to you, I don't think you understand. I would fucking burn half of Tijuana down if something happened to you" Ramon pleaded, looking up at you and locking you in this gaze you've never experienced before. Sitting up, you lean towards Ramon, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek before placing your forehead against his. "But what about the other half" you can barely let out between giggles and before he could let out a frustrated groan, you lean forward to press your lips against his in a giddy kiss. A kiss that sobered the both of you in an instance, his hands finding their way to your waist as if they always belonged there. Pulling away, nearly breathless, you give him a sweet smile before pushing yourself off the couch. "Well, thanks for getting me home safe, you can go home now" you tease, winking at him as you lead him to your bedroom. "Oh I'm not going anywhere" Ramon nearly growled a familiar cocky smile not too far behind you.

[ceresfromnationstates]

Character Ref Sheets: Dave E. Panpa

Main characters and supporting characters done, more still to go.

David Ernesto Panpa Ruiz

Nicknames: Dave, David (rare), Davie, Ernest, Mr. Panpa, Mr. D

Age: 27 (As of mid 2019)

Birthplace: Tijuana, MX

Current Location: Santa Monica, CA

Nationality: Mexican-American

Physical Description: Average Build, Brown Eyes (Light Brown Skin), Brown Hair

Bio: Even after what he has gone through, he's still a security guard. Maybe it's in his blood.

On the surface, Dave is an exceptionally chill, laid-back and carefree guy unconcerned by anything.

On other instances, he's also been described as a cold, mad and negative individual.

The colors of whatever he's wearing usually tells what mood he's in.

The only thing he considers "traumatizing" is the untimely passing of his grandfather during his younger years.

Ocassionally has very vivid nightmares brought on by his imagination.

Despite being extremely extroverted and open to talking, he almost always keeps to himself when he's alone or around people he doesn't know.

He's a nyctophile, and as such, he likes going out on late night/early morning walks and staying up late.

The memory of being fired from the Police Department. always sticks with him. Knows Henry and Rupert well, but can't really remember.

Haven't attempted to get in contact with either of them, and frankly, he doesn't wanna know what's up.

His time spent incarcerated by the Toppats gave him a pessimistic view on life.

Spent 8 months and 2 weeks held in captivity by the Toppats.

At some point and somehow, he escaped from them.

Has no idea why he was taken by the Clan.

Some time after, he moved from Arizona and to the west coast.

After granted retirement from his previous security company, he eventually found work in another (and arguably better) security company.

Has learned from his days at the museum, and now performs his new job more professionally.

Has made a number of new friends at work, and also some others he used to work with at the museum.

Ocassionally, some of them would have a get-together or two, and he always tags along.

Experiencing everything from getting fired to being taken prisoner by a clan has lead him to believe in fate, fortune and misfortune.

Often times, he finds himself overthinking about something negative from his past too much and snapping.

To "better himself", he's been trying out meditation and positive thinking. One of his methods of releasing stress is by screaming.

Keeps a record of everyone who shares his number, just in case of anything happening.

His job with Weston Defense Solutions and a couple of side-jobs are his lifeline, at this time at least.

Despite all that, he's still chill and uncaring about it.

He just wants is to live through life and enjoy it.

Backstory (coming soon)

< Rupert | Masterpost

[hero-israel]

But how can you just tell Palestinians to move south. Israel is committing war crimes by denying water to civilians, it’s collective punishment and they don’t want Gaza to exist. What on earth is Hamas going to do with water other than drink it, how can you defend this position, how is Israel at all heroic. All you can say is for Palestinians to get over the past and fight Hamas, but how? Half of Palestine are children and there are few resources. You can’t just offer some weak critiques of Netanyahu; the right wing Israel political machine is still Israel; you can’t separate some ideals from what is happening now.

"Weak critique", seriously? I have repeatedly said that the Babi Yar, Rwandan Genocide style atrocity inflicted against Israel was made possible by the dysfunctional government Bibi built to legalize his own crimes and that tore society and military readiness apart as a side effect. Hamas would ALWAYS have done it, I've known they are genocidal fascists for quite some time, it is the job of the Israeli govt to watch Gaza and they didn't. How is literally "You made this possible" weak?

Israel re-allowed water as of 2 days ago and is now re-allowing food.

Palestinians are horribly oppressed by Hamas, if they tried to rise up against Hamas they would surely be killed on the spot, and I am not so far out as to say "these are the brutes who they support so bomb them all." But if I don't want the civilians bombed, and you don't even want them moved so they dodge the bombs aimed at facilities, then what is there left for Israel to do at all? How do you imagine a country of Jews, shaped in memory of historic persecutions and genocides - many of them by Arab and Muslim regimes that oppressed and massacred them for 1,000+ years - ought to respond to having the very worst of those events re-staged in their own homes, against their children, their grandparents, the helpless? If any possible action in Gaza is "collective punishment," is Hamas simply to be left unscathed? What would stop them from doing it again, plus a dozen copycats? What do you want, and what country do you imagine would meet your wishes?

There is no government in the world - in the history of the world - that would tolerate a Hamas on their border after what it just did to them. If a Mexican drug cartel seized control of Tijuana and said it was going to "liberate California" in the name of all the Hispanic Catholics who are TRULY indigenous to California instead of White Protestant colonizers, occasionally firing missiles at random into the U.S., then snuck in a death squad and raped and butchered 40,000 people in their homes (and that's the count, adjusted for population), what do you think America would do to Tijuana?

This is why I said previously - as terrible as a full military commitment absolutely would be, "alright, well, don't do that again you meanies!" very well could be worse. People need to deeply and honestly confront whether any retaliation for crimes against humanity is allowable, or whether we are in a perverse mirror image of Florida's "Stand Your Ground" gun law, where the man standing atop a corpse said "he scared me!" and gets away with it. In this case, violence is so forbidden that whoever commits a violent crime first wins.

[cherrychapstick54]

Amnesia Was Her Name

Series

Chapter One: Goat Boy

- Tommy wakes up with a throbbing pain in his head and a lack of memory of what caused it. Luckily, a friend is there to help. -

Chapter Two: Crater

- Helping Tubbo clean up L’manhole is easier said than done, especially when you keep forgetting shit. -

Chapter Three: Tomato Farm 🔪

- Tommy decides to pick up a new hobby, but finds himself washed away in the process. -

Chapter Four: A Second Chance 🔪

- Tommy wakes up on a frozen beach after… shit, he can’t remember. Oh well, maybe this stranger who appears to know him will help! -

Chapter Five: Meetings

- Tommy’s body is stuck in the realm of the gods and XD is NOT happy about it. -

Chapter Six: North 🔪

- Tommy finally goes home, but meets someone new along the way. She’s nice and all, but…she’s also kinda a bitch… -

Chapter Seven: How to Sex—Totally Not a Suspicious Name

- Tommy has the great idea of making a diary to help with his memory! Shenanigans ensue. -

Chapter Eight: How to Sex

- Tommy’s first personal note to himself. -

Chapter Nine: A (Platonic) Marriage

- Tommy doesn’t want to do anything, but Amnesia won’t let him sulk. -

Chapter Ten: How to Sex: Entry #2

- Tommy writes in an attempt to cope with his problems. -

Chapter 11: Pay Back 🔪

- Tommy wakes up to a brutal beating; it’s a shame what’s given up to make it stop. -

Chapter 12: How to Sex: Where Did He Go?

- Drista gets curious and writes her own entry in Tommy’s diary. -

Chapter 13: Ghosting 🔪

- Dream teaches Tommy a lesson or two, including the ground rules for his new home. -

Chapter 14: Hook, Line, Sinker 🔪

- Tommy struggles to feel peaceful despite the calm, and Drista argues with her brother until they both come to an agreement. -

Chapter 15: Prey Must Adapt If It Wants To Survive A Predator

- Maybe exile isn’t all that bad, and who the hell is that? -

Chapter 16: Christmas Brings Everyone Together

- A lot of things can happen at Christmas. For Tommy, he was scared of what could happen. Luckily, Phil is there to help him. Only issue, who the hell is Phil?? -

Chapter 17: How to Sex: Entry #4?

- Tommy doesn’t know what to think about his old friend, but he does know that he misses Amnesia. -

Chapter 18: Happy Christmas?

- Phil reminisces on what used to be, and hopes for what could be. -

Chapter 19: Buenas Noches Prostituta

- The struggles of having to keep control of a stray man who’s just trying to get back home to Tijuana. -

Chapter 20: How to Sex

- Maybe writing will help Tommy? -

Chapter 21: We Are All Just Prisoners Here Of Our Own Device 🔪

- Tommy can’t remember what the holiday is called, but it’s the season of mercy! No, wait…season of giving! That’s what it is. -

Chapter 22: Living It Up At The Hotel California 🔪

- Tommy struggles to realize what’s real and not real. Luckily, Dream is there to help! -

Chapter 23: Such a Lovely Place, Such a Lovely Face 🔪

- Hallucinations are a bitch. -

Chapter 24: How to Sex

Chapter 25: The Edge 🔪

- Tommy tries to find a solution to his issues, and succeeds. -

Chapter 26 (Alternate Ending): You Can Check Out Anytime You’d Like, But You Can Never Leave 🔪

- Alternate ending from chapter 25. -

Epilogue (Alternate Ending pt.2): Man Am I The Greatest 🔪

- Epilogue for chapter 26. -

- Divider credits to @issysh3ll -

[posttexasstressdisorder]

Wednesday, 11-20-24, 2pm Pacific

'Afternoon, all...it's Mr. Baggins, back with your Afternoon Stack of Classic Wax! I thought today might be a good day for Part Two of our ongoing series about Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass. Let's grab that Tijuana Taxi and head south!

Let's go back to the beginning, all the way back to 1962! Here is the very first Tijuana Brass record. It's Alpert solo, with his trumpet part overdubbed and a touch out of sync. It's also the very first record issued on A & M Records, which Alpert formed with business partner Jerry Moss; they also formed their own publishing company "Almo Music, Inc." A & M went on to be the largest independent record label in the world. The distinctive "gold" version of the label (like the one above) came later that next year. Here is The Lonely Bull.

With all the airplay on TV and commercials, there was no shortage of demand for new TJB music. For the next seven years, they would have hit after hit after hit, until Alpert disbanded them in 1969. Let's hear another big hit from '66, his version of "What Now My Love?"

The drummer, Nick Ceroli, was a well-respected jazz drummer, boisterous enough to hold his own in Stan Kenton's big band, a guy who must have cut his teeth playing for strippers! Here is the TJB's stripper-ready version of the old '50s hit "Love Potion #9".

In '68, Herb sang the Bacharach/David tune "This Guy's In Love With You", which became a number one smash. The album it was taken from, "The Beat of The Brass", included this great tune, which was co-written by Alpert and TJB guitarist John Pisano. Pisano, btw, was an astoundingly talented jazz guitarist. Here is "Slick".

Now this next one is an absolute gem. It came from the album "Herb Alpert's Ninth", and was one of the biggest singles from that album. It's a pop-musical tour-de-force of the main themes from Bizet's Carmen. Each little sub-section is self-reflexively done in the style of one of the TJB's EARLIER hits...you'll recognize the "What Now My Love" section, etc. It's really a piece of pop musical genius. I've played you Vladimir Horowitz' "Carmen Variations", which he played at the end of his Television Concert. Alpert must have seen it and composed this arrangement as a response. Here is the TJB's "Carmen"!

Here's a tune composed by TJB guitarist John Pisano for Peggy Lee. Pisano was her guitarist as well! Her vocal version became a hit, as did the TJB's version, in '66. Here's "So What's New?"

As I've said before, I learned how to make an arrangement by listening to these guys obsessively as a kid growing up. They fascinated me with how they layered and constructed the arrangement and built the sound. And the playfulness and freedom with which they re-arranged old hits was just a kick, like this one. Taken from the "Sounds like..." album in '67, here is their total re-work of Gene Pitney's "Town Without Pity". And that's drummer Nick Ceroli doing the honors on the whoops and shouts throughout.

The same playfulness is evident in their version of The Supremes' "The Happening", from the same album in '67.

And I thought I'd wrap up this Afternoon Stack of Classic Wax with the 45 version of their re-work of "Zorba The Greek", from late '65. It's actually quite different from the LP version that's on the "Going Places" album. Enjoy!

That wraps up another Afternoon Stack of Classic Wax! Hope you've enjoyed today's installment in our series on Herb Alpert and The TJB! Mr. Baggins signing off for now, I'll return at 7pm Pacific with a set sure to soothe your achin' nerves and help ease us all into a good night.

Until then, be kind, babies, be kind.

Baggins out.

[cositapreciosa]

If you’re taking request : El mayo fluff, meeting at Dina’s wedding? Or being pregnant during the whole war? Loooved Safehouse!!

Como La Flor

Ismael 'El Mayo' Zambada x female!reader (mention of wearing heels, being called a lady), 2909 words

mention of alcohol, you like red wine in this one, the usual for the show

a/n : why is Alberto Guerra such a babe. Is this named after the episode? yes. Am I the biggest Selena fan ever? yes.

As always it's the fictional, not the real deal, enjoy xx

You are not sure how you ended up at Dina Arellano’s wedding out of all people. You did keep up with her over the years, a coffee here and there, dinner nights at your place when she was in town, being invited for a drink or two at Roxanne’s every time you were back in Tijuana. Before you moved away, you had appreciated the friendship she gave you, and you enjoyed giving yours just as much, but as the months went on and as you started to notice the guns tucked in everyone’s waistbands and the unusually large funds on her credit card, you just decided to take a step back, but so did your trips up north.

That is why receiving the wedding invitation at your door had been a surprise in the beginning, you haven’t been to Tijuana in months. It was a pleasant one, but one you felt might have been out of nostalgia and for old friendship’s sake.

Coming back to Tijuana had been a hard choice at first, feeling like a defeat, having to tell everyone it just didn’t work out down south. And after many sorry looks and probing questions you didn’t feel like answering, Dina’s way of seeing it had been a breath of fresh air. Maybe you are just coming back to rest a bit, hmm? When you feel like moving again you can still do it. Nothing is stopping you. That day, with your hands around a warm coffee cup, sobbing in her kitchen, you remembered why you two fit so well together. Now you have no reason not to show up to my wedding, she laughs, it makes you too.

You were grateful every time she forced you to come along with her on all the wedding shopping, even if you felt your presence was unnecessary, outdated. It didn’t matter to her, she told you many times, that you needed to be out and about, live a little, enjoy the company. She was right, and as the day grew close and you got to know Carlos better, you realized you didn’t feel as out of place as you thought you were at first. The thirteenth sibling everyone had missed so much.

The food was generous and the many glasses of wine you already had even more, which is probably why you couldn’t say no to her every time she grabbed your hand and pulled you to the dance floor. The chandeliers shining sparkles of lights all around you.

Everything was starting to feel a bit overwhelming. The noise, the music, being pushed around, front and back, having to say hi to everyone after so many years. Why didn’t it work out? Was Tijuana not enough for you? How are your parents? It ended up being too much for you when Dina’s mom cornered you, holding your hands softly between hers, voice trembling, telling you how much she had missed you, how everyone did.

You don’t remember when you had taken your shoes off on the way out, almost running to the door, your body begging for a cigarette and some fresh air. Still, you try not to drop the red soles, making the edges balance between your fingers and your glass of wine as you rummage through the inside pocket of your jacket for a smoke. They were a gift from Dina, one way too expensive for your own wallet, one she didn’t want you to refuse. A thank you gift, she had said, for being here for me tonight. The evening is colder than usual this time of year, but the breeze on your cheeks is a nice change compared to the hot air inside. Your fingers reach the bottom of your pockets. Where the fuck did I -

‘’ Are you going to beg me for one too? ‘’

It is a man leaning on the side of the building that spoke, a small smile tugging on his lips, cowboy hat raising with the movement of his eyebrows. You barely noticed he was there in the first place.

‘’ Pardon me? ‘’

‘’ A cigarette, I mean. ‘’

‘’ Ah. ‘’, a small laugh escapes you. You vaguely wave your free hand around your pockets, red wine dancing dangerously close to the rim as you do. ‘’ Those I have, they’re just in there somewhere. ‘’

His hand goes up, pointing to your glass with his cigar, smoke rushing down his face as he exhales,

‘’ You want me to hold that for you? ‘’

‘’ That would be lovely. ‘’

His eyes follow your movement as your fingers loosen and you let your shoes drop at your feet, presenting him your glass of wine. His gaze connects to your naked feet against the concrete, you can tell he doesn’t approve.

‘’ So, ‘’ you fish around in your jacket again, ‘’ Bride or groom? ‘’

Something like a grunt comes out of him, deep in the throat, a laugh maybe. He brings his cigar to his lips.

‘’ More on the bride’s brother’s side, you? ‘’

‘’ Just the bride, Dina’s an old friend. ‘’

He takes a deep drag, his chest puffing with the inhale. ‘’ I’ve been told you are more like a family member at this point. ‘’

You know word comes around fast in Tijuana, even more so at a Tijuanense wedding. Still, his words scratch a part of your brain that screams at you, showing you once again everything you know, everything you have been noticing for years now, but prefer to ignore.

‘’ I haven’t lived in Tijuana in years. I’m not invited for Christmas anymore if you’re wondering. ‘’

He doesn't answer back. Thank god. The silence stretches out for a while and your hands are reaching once again into your pockets. You can still hear the music inside, a loud, quick norteña you would barely be able to keep up with. You still can’t find your pack of cigarettes.

‘’ Does the offer still stand?"

His eyes slowly go back to yours, brown, gentle, tired. His head tilts to the side in a silent question. He is a man of few words. You can already tell.

‘’ A cigarette, I mean," you say. "I do have a lighter. I can’t find the pack, though."

A smile pulls at his lips this time, and you can feel the tension that was gnawing at you fade away a little. The skin of his hand meets the inside of his denim jacket. It’s something close to genuine, his smile, like he does find your answer humorous. His palm is warm when he presses the cold metal case in your hand. He points a finger your way again.

‘’ Let's make it two, and you don't use my lighter," he says.

You bring the case close to your chest, a small smile on your face. A peace offering maybe. You feel like a child negotiating for dessert, "Make it three, I use my light, and you can keep my glass of wine. We have a deal?"

His eyes squint, eyebrows almost meeting in the middle, you know your lie won’t work. You are surprised when he chuckles, half a smile, brushing his teeth with his tongue as he tuts.

‘’ Thought it was an open bar tonight."

‘’ No, it’s not. Not after eleven."

‘’ And what time is it now?"

You clear your throat as you pull the three cigarettes out of the case, quickly squeezing one between your lips.

‘’ Way past eleven. It’s too late now, you have to take the deal. ‘’

‘’ What if I don’t like red wine? ‘’

You bring your hand up, shielding the flame from the wind. As you exhale the first drag, you take a step back, leaning on one of the pillars orning the balcony. The smoke is warm on your face, prickling your eyes on the way up.

‘’ You don’t seem to me like the type of person that likes wine, no matter the color. Am I wrong? ‘’

He doesn’t retort back this time, but the smile is still there as he turns his attention back to the garden. You take this time to really look at him, how dark his eyes are, how there is not a single wrinkle on his blouse. You breathe in the smoke while he swings the liquid around in the glass. He is handsome, there is no doubt about that, with his mustache and his tailored pants. Maybe tonight doesn’t have to be as boring as you first made it out to be. Your eyes are lingering on his face, you don’t bother hiding it. They trace their way up and around the wrinkles beside his eyes until it reaches the curve of his cheek, tumbling down to graze his lips.

‘’ I don’t think I asked you for your name. ‘’

It is a question without being one, a statement that he will have to answer anyway. You feel bold tonight, something that barely happens anymore, but even with all this build-up of confidence, spilling over the edges, going down your throat with the nicotine, you still feel small when he is now the one analyzing you. His brown eyes are back on you, and you love how the wind catches in his curls, pushing them under his hat. He crushes his cigar with the heel of his foot, sparkles of hot ashes following the movement.

‘’ You can call me Ismael. ‘’

Ismael. You like it. It suits him, a soft name for a soft exterior. You can tell this calmness is only a facade. An ocean a wind away from becoming a storm.

‘’ And what do others get to call you then? ‘’

The ones I can see looking through the window. Keeping watch. He snorts, taking a sip of your wine, his face souring at the taste the second it meets his lips.

‘’ You are right, I don’t like wine at all. ‘’

You know pushing your question once more will get you nowhere, so you don’t ask again. Maybe Ismael will be the only thing you’ll get tonight. You do offer him your name instead, and he says it back to you, the letters rolling softly off his tongue. You stay silent for a moment after that, a moment spent looking back into his eyes, ears still ringing from the music inside.

‘’ Let me guess, ‘’ you propose, motioning to the untouched wine in the cup, ‘’ and if I win, I get-, what did you say you do for a living? ‘’

You’re fishing again. You can tell that he knows, you can tell he doesn’t care.

‘’ I got my own business. ‘’

‘’ Right, ‘’ you stretch the word out, softly fishing your glass of wine out of his hand. He lets you, ‘’ If I can guess your drink of choice, you owe me one peso, we got a deal? ‘’

You can tell you have his attention now, it’s the way his eyebrows raise and how his lips form a small smile across his cheek. He leans gently towards you, as if his next words were only meant between you and him.

‘’ If you can guess in one try, I’ll make it two pesos, but you’ll owe me a dance, deal? ‘’

You scoff, taking a sip from your glass. You swoosh it in your mouth a little. Left, right, swallow. It’s bold, you have to admit, but you can tell he is as serious as you are. It does surprise you when he holds his hand out to you, expecting a handshake, a deal. Whatever business Ismael has back home, you know selling is probably his strong suit. You shake it, his fingers are warm in your hand, palms dry and calloused. You are a horrible dancer anyway, it’s his feet that are going to take the worst of it.

You use his hand as leverage to pull yourself off the pillar, choosing to sit on the bench next to it instead. You look up at him, eyes squinting.

‘’ You’re clearly from Sinaloa… And your hands are strong, so you probably work a field job. How am I doing so far? ‘’

‘’ Surprisingly good. ‘’ His hand brushes through his mustache, you know he’s smiling, ‘’ So far. ‘’

You hmm, elbows touching your knees as your chin follow the movement, pressing against your open hand. Your fingers drum on the side of your cheek. You could stare at him for hours.

‘’ I think I know, ‘’ you grin, ‘’ You are a classic beer kind of guy. ‘’

He doesn’t react, and for a second you do believe that you are wrong, but just as you are about to stand back and pull out your wallet, something in his eyes changes. It’s soft, barely there, but you didn’t miss it. Hook, line, and sinker. It’s your cue to keep going, you know you’re in.

‘’ None of those artisanal ones, nah. I think you’re a classic Pacífico guy. ‘’

‘’ What do you do for a living? ‘’

You let out a laugh,

‘’ I watch a bit too much of those police novelas on TV is what I do.’’

Ismael chuckles, his eyes moving down again to your feet. You gaze down too, noticing now how the pavement has gotten colder under your toes.

‘’ I owe you a dance, don’t I? ‘’

‘’ You don’t have to put your shoes back on if they hurt. ‘’

You stand up from the bench, holding out your hand towards him. Ismael slides his fingers between yours as he pulls you closer to him. You can feel your blood rushing down your body from the movement, your heart pushing against your ribcage. His arm raises above your head, slowly pushing you to swirl around. Your toes rub on the ground as you turn, you are not sure if it is his proximity or the alcohol that makes your head spin.

Before you can reach for your heels, he is already leaning down by your feet, bending his back until his other hand grabs the back of your shoes.. When he straightens back up, it feels like he’s a step closer, in his hands, the tip of your shoes is nudging your thigh. You can smell the tobacco on him, feel how heavy his gaze is on you, see the dots of green in his brown eyes.

‘’ Let me take you out to dinner tomorrow. ‘’

You can’t help your eyes from following the movement of his lips, the movement of his skin creasing where it meets his cheek. You look up, back into his eyes.

‘’ Really? ‘’

He mirrors the word back to you, raspy, confident. Really. You know your cheeks are red without a doubt, the heat you feel is enough. You nod, leaning back on your heel, in the hope that putting some distance between you and him would help you regain whatever confidence you left on the bench. His thumb is brushing against the back of your hand now, what a smooth mother-

‘’ Even if I step on your feet the whole dance? ‘’

Your words are quick, begging for a chance to stop melting over this, over him. He thinks for a second, looking up in a mocking way before his eyes are back on you again,

‘’ I’ll allow it. Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it after a few songs. I’m a great teacher. ‘’

You don’t doubt him for a second.

And you don’t miss how Dina eyes you when he brings you to the dancefloor, making you twirl once more, but tonight, as much as it pains you to think it, you can’t seem to care. You can deal with the speeches, rumors, and the big sister talk tomorrow, because tonight you feel better than you have felt in weeks. Maybe it’s the way Ismael does not even flinch when you do inevitably step on his toes or how his fingers bunch up the fabric at your waist to bring you even closer to him. Maybe it’s because you don’t want to think about the gun your fingertips brush every time your hand caresses lower down his back. Maybe because he feels so different from the one you had been meeting before.

Still, you are surprised when he calls you the next morning, asking you what time would be best for you tonight. After breakfast, when you lie to Dina and tell her you’re having dinner with an old school friend, you can’t help how wild the butterflies in your stomach are.

You don’t think much about it when you slip into his car at the next street corner, as he drives you around with the windows down, as he asks you about your day, pushing your chair out from under the table for you. You don’t even remember why you were feeling nervous when he orders his food after you, calling back the waiter before he could leave.

‘’ Can you bring a Pacífico with that? And a glass of wine, red, for the lady. ‘’

Ismael turns to you, lips pulling into a smile, his knees knocking against yours under the table. ‘’ Rojo, that’s right? ‘’

He’s still wearing that damn hat inside, the buckle on top catching the light. You smile back at him, nodding.

That’s right.

[bitter69uk]

Heartfelt thanks to the attendees of the Lobotomy Room club presentation of Kitten with a Whip on Thursday night! Looking out at the audience from the stage at Fontaine’s, I scanned a room full of delinquent sex kittens reaching for evil with both hands! You were ALL out for KICKS! And every inch of you spelled EXCITEMENT! Anyway, here’s a recap of some of the talking points: I last screened this delirious exploitation gem in January 2016. Kitten was ripe for revisiting, especially considering it turned sixty this month (it was released on 4 November 1964). In the UK at least, Kitten is virtually a forgotten “lost film”: unavailable on Blu-ray or DVD, it never crops up on TV and isn’t streaming on any platforms. Kitten is a juvenile delinquent flick but it’s also a “home invasion” thriller and it anticipates the yuppie-in-peril movies of the eighties (think After Hours, Something Wild, Desperately Seeking Susan). Like so many movies of its era, Kitten also has an “anti-beatnik” message! Towards the end, when the action shifts to Tijuana, depicted as a realm of striptease shows, squalid hotel rooms, sombreros and tequila, it recalls Orson Welles’ Touch of Evil (1958). Mainly I cherish Kitten as an ideal star vehicle for Ann-Margret, who I revere as a berserk mid-twentieth century sex kitten second only to Jayne Mansfield. The film captures Ann-Margret when she was officially the prettiest girl in the world (this statement is not open for debate) and playing a bad girl part for the first time. (Previously she’d starred in lighthearted musicals like State Fair (1962), Bye Bye Birdie (1963) and Viva Las Vegas (1964) which emphasized her considerable singing and dancing talents). And she really TEARS into the role of 17-year-old runaway Jody Dvorak. I urged everyone to listen out for the risible faux hepcat dialogue and to watch for the shot where Jody is driving, but the car has no dashboard! Fun times! I’ll announce the December selection soon!