#throwing things punching the wall etc. THEY. THEM

[officialgleamstar]

I am begging you to tell me about mnmoms Morgan 🙏

i feel like ive talked a LOT about morgan specifically for this au, she is my main blorbo and punching bag forever <3 and as much as i love to beat a dead horse, theres only so many times i can talk about her fridged wife montages about glenn. so, i figured id specifically talk about an aspect of morgan ive been thinking about lately - her relationship with samantha! the besties of all time :]

morgan and samantha are the only moms who are friends pre-forgotten realms, and they are in fact, best friends! samantha has had a long history of latching onto morgan because she is meta levels of aware of their parallel backstories and she desperately wants morgan to get therapy about it. morgan is not having it in the slightest, but she does really love samantha so she lets her get away with it. samantha is actually why morgan is on the soccer carpool at all, since samantha goaded her into it "so it wont just be me and a bunch of random guys!" (yes i have specific reasons why each of the moms are here instead of the dads LOL). morgan usually just drives nick, she takes all of his soccer trips off, but is a little entranced by the idea of hanging out with samantha for a few hours and also the vodka coolers sammy promised her at the game, so she agrees. and then everything goes wrong and morgan tries really hard and fails to not blame samantha for it :')

as stated, they're best friends, but they do tend to argue, a trait that mostly starts to crop up in the realms (the added stress kind of kills morgan's already short temper haha). morgan is prone to arguing with Literally Everyone, and samantha isnt an exception. however, she is also prone to bursting into tears after every argument LOL morgan is a very emotional character and she really doesnt like fighting with samantha in particular, sammy is a soft spot for her. so morgan and samantha spend a good amount of time with samantha riling morgan up, morgan snapping in response, and both of them crying. carol is absolutely sick of them and mercedes finds it really sweet LMAO

in more general notes: they first met because nick and terry went to the same preschool, but only became friends after glenn passed, and only became best friends after terry senior also passed. samantha and morgan are the type of middle-aged woman friends to call each other pet names, mostly "sweetheart", "babe", etc <333 samantha does call morgan her girlfriend and then gets confused why people dont understand that theyre platonic friends. morgan is more socially aware but still calls samantha her girlfriend because it annoys nick beyond all belief. the close family spends a lot of time at the stamplers' house in general pre-realms, post-realms as well really. morgan is the only person samantha really lets herself get upset around (besides ron!) and is a rare person for samantha to go to for comfort rather than the other way around :')

[astra-ravana]

Easy Curses for Beginners

Here are some simple yet unusual curses for beginners. These curses are low-energy, easy to perform, and require minimal tools. They are subtle and perfect for those just starting their baneful practice, but still pack a punch. Always be mindful of your intentions—curses can carry karmic or energetic consequences. Always start the curse process by protecting yourself and end it by cleansing yourself. Remember to do your own research before using baneful magick.

The Rotting Fruit Curse

Causes a person’s luck, relationships, or finances to decay over time.

Needed:

• A piece of fruit (apple, orange, etc.)

• A slip of paper

• A black pen

• A dark place (cupboard, drawer, or under the bed)

Instructions:

Write the target’s name on the paper. Place the paper inside or beneath the fruit. Hold the fruit and focus on your intent—imagine the person’s life slowly rotting just like the fruit will. Place the fruit in a hidden, dark place and leave it to decay. Once fully rotted, dispose of it far from your home.

The Knotted Thread Curse

Traps a person in misfortune, confusion, or stagnation. The target experiences obstacles, delays, and problems that keep them from progressing in life.

Needed:

• A piece of black thread or string (12 inches long)

• Your voice and breath

Instructions:

Hold the string in your hands and focus on the target. With each knot you tie, say a phrase like:

• "With this knot, I trap your fate."

• "With this tie, your plans fall apart."

Tie nine knots while envisioning the person becoming stuck, unable to move forward in life. Hide or bury the thread somewhere secret.

The Echo Curse

Makes a person’s words return to them, causing gossipers or liars to suffer their own consequences. Their own words work against them—exposing their lies, making people distrust them, or causing them to face social backlash.

Needed:

• A mirror (small handheld one works best)

• A marker or lipstick

• The person’s name (or just "liar," "gossip," etc.)

Instructions:

Write their name (or a word representing their offense) on the mirror. Hold the mirror and say:

"What you say returns to you, every lie and every word untrue."

Place the mirror facing a wall or inside a dark drawer, so their energy is reflected back to them.

The Cracked Egg Curse

Causes a person’s stability to fall apart—relationships, money, confidence, or mental clarity. The target experiences instability, whether emotional, financial, or personal.

Needed:

• A raw egg

• A marker

• A place to smash the egg (outside, near their path, or a trash bin)

Instructions:

Write the person’s name on the egg. Hold it and whisper your curse into it, such as:

"May your life crack like this shell."

Imagine their stability shattering like the egg will. Smash it on the ground or in a trash bin.

The Slipping Shadow Curse

Causes a person to lose focus, forget things, or make mistakes. They struggle with their memory, lose track of things, and make more mistakes.

Needed:

• A black candle

• A piece of paper

• A pencil

Instructions:

Write the target’s name on the paper. Light the black candle and hold the paper over the flame (don’t burn it yet). Whisper:

"Like a shadow slipping through the cracks, your mind stumbles, your focus lacks."

Let a few drops of wax fall on the name, then crumple the paper. Blow out the candle and throw the paper in a busy place (so their energy is scattered).

The Splitting Roads Curse

Causes confusion, indecision, and emotional instability. The target struggles to understand what's happening and make the right choices.

Needed:

• Two twigs or sticks

• A piece of string

• A crossroads or a place where two paths split

Instructions:

Tie the two sticks together at one end, so they form a V shape (symbolizing a forked path). Hold them in your hands and say:

"Your choices split, your path unclear, may confusion follow near."

Leave the sticks at a crossroads or place where two paths meet.

The Ink Spill Curse

Causes a person’s words (spoken or written) to be misunderstood, ignored, or turned against them. Everything they say becomes misinterpreted, loses power, or backfires.

Needed:

• A pen

• A piece of paper

• A cup of water or ink

Instructions:

Write the person’s name and a word representing their harmful speech (ie: “lies,” “gossip,” “manipulation”). Hold the paper and whisper:

"Your words twist, your message lost, what you say will bear the cost."

Drop the paper into the water or ink and let the words dissolve. Dispose of the soaked paper in running water (sink, river, or toilet).

The Cold Shoulder Curse

The person experiences social isolation—people ignore them, avoid them, or lose interest in them. This will eventually lead to profound loneliness.

Needed:

• A small ice cube

• A photo of the person (or just their name written on paper)

• A freezer

Instructions:

Place the ice cube on top of their name or photo. Whisper:

"Like ice, you freeze in place. No warmth, no friends, no welcome space."

Wrap the paper/photo in a piece of cloth or plastic and place it in the freezer.

The Crumbling Foundation Curse

Causes a collapse in a person’s relationships, home life, or work environment. The target experiences instability in their personal life making it harder for them to maintain relationships or stability.

Needed:

• A small handful of graveyard dirt

• A piece of paper

• A black pen

Instructions:

Write the person’s name on the paper. Hold the dirt in your hand and whisper:

"Your foundation weakens, your roots unsteady. That which holds you crumbles already."

Sprinkle the dirt over the paper and then fold it, with the dirt inside, like a little packet. Throw into running water or the rubble of a collapsed building.

[chososrightnipple]

❝𝐭𝐨𝐣𝐢 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐬𝐟𝐰 + 𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰❞

: ̗̀➛ overview: various heacanons for toji, nsfw below the cut

: ̗̀➛ tw; afab body w/no gendered language. nsfw cut includes teasing, mentions of semi-public, shower sex, face fucking, etc.

: ̗̀➛ a/n: these headcanons were a request. i hope you enjoy them and thank you so much for requesting!

── დ ──

sfw;

▸ toji's favorite petnames for you include sweetheart, doll, and princess (regardless of your gender). he purrs them, usually when he wants something, or is trying to rile you up. just something about seeing how flushed your cheeks get really spurs him on.

▸ loves annoying you. i'm sorry but he is so the type to tighten jars and lids just a bit too tight on purpose, because then he gets to tease you about it when you come around asking for help. puts things on the highest shelf he can because this man towers over everything, and it never fails to make him laugh seeing you on the tips of your toes.

▸ favorite place to kiss you is for sure your shoulders. just imagine him standing behind you as you cook dinner, arms lazily draped around your waist. and him, humming about how good it smells as he peppers kisses around your shoulders and neck.

▸ for sure very protective. i mean, he's an assassin. he's made a lot of enemies. he's in a dangerous line of work. and he knows that you're sharing that spotlight with him as well, as soon as it becomes known he associates with you. because of that, he makes sure you know how to defend yourself. teaching you how to handle a weapon, how to throw punches, how to handle punches. the idea of losing you because he wasn't there to protect you honestly destroys him, no matter how much he pretends it doesn't. plus, he loves a partner that can beat his ass and keep up with him in a fight <33

▸ always puts his hands on your thigh whenever he's driving. squeezing and massaging at the flesh, tapping his fingers to the beat of whatever song is playing. letting you play with his fingers and trace the lines on his palm as the scenery outside passes by swiftly.

▸ complains and complains and complains anytime you're wearing his clothes but it's all just a facade. he doesn't actually care you're raiding his dresser because god, you look so damn good in his shirts and he'll never get tired of it.

▸ will never admit it but he always makes sure you fall asleep before he does. he doesn't know exactly why. maybe it's just to make sure that you'll stay, that you're not going to slip away in the middle of the night. maybe it's because it's the only time he'll really allow him to look at you. to let his eyes trail your face, memorizing the curves of your cheeks and counting your eyelashes.

▸toji is also a big bastard. teasing is for sure his love language in every sense of the word. poking at your sides where he knows your ticklish. tugging at a strand at your hair when you're both laying on the couch. humming just a bit too loud in the shower when he knows you're waiting for him to get out of the bathroom already. he loves you, really he does, and with that comes his smug little smiles and mocking little laughs.

▸ speaking of. you're for sure the first to love the big 'i love you'. he's not the most emotionally available and you know that. so, when you believed you were both ready, you said it. and he didn't really know how to react at first, honestly. one part of him was screaming to run, to get out, to get away from this feeling tugging at his chest. but another part, the bigger part, was being set aflame with adoration and was begging him to chase the warmth that was you.

▸ after that, saying he loves you is easy. he says it often, especially during goodbyes of any kind.

── დ ──

nsfw;

▸ shower with him oh my god please. seriously he's practically dragging you into the shower with him anytime either of you mention needing to bathe. he loves pressing you against the tiled wall and getting you all dirty and sweaty before washing you off with his soap.

▸ remember above where i said he likes seeing you in his clothes? yeah. some days he'll wake up and see you at the doorway, wearing only his shirt. it engulfs you, draping down to your thigh and slipping off your shoulder. and he can see the remnants of last night left on you- the hickeys peppering your neck, the hand print carving itself into your thigh. it drives him absolutely crazy and you can bet he's pulling you back into bed for another round seconds later tee hee

▸ he's very vocal in bed, i think. lots of groaning, and even more dirty talk. he gets so pussy drunk off of you that he just starts babbling all the nasty thoughts that pop into his mind, going on and on about how good you feel and how much he loves fucking you.

▸ adding on to this, he wants you to be vocal in bed, too. he wants to hear all of your whines and whimpers and moans. he wants to hear how good he's making you feel. and if he thinks that you're purposefully muffling yourself, he'll go to no ends to force those pretty little noises from your lips.

▸ lordd please let this man face fuck you. he's so down bad for it, like it drives him actually crazy. feeling you gag around his cock as he bullies it down the back of your throat, watching the spit dripple past your lips when he finally pulls away...!!!!

▸ his love language being teasing does notttt stop in the bedroom. he's so mean about it, really. watching how you squirm at his light touches and how you slowly break down with every denial of him fucking you, until you're practically begging you. it gives him such a rush seeing you so desperate, all because of him.

▸ will fuck you literally anywhere. anytime. he doesn't care. you've been pressed against more surfaces than you can admit to, and not many of them even being in your own home.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

butterflygirl738 (2)

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, power imbalance, sickness, medical bills, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You love butterflies and your mother, but life isn’t that simple. As life gets complicated, and expensive, you find yourself in need and an unexpected miracle presents itself.

Characters: Steve Rogers (CEO/Sugar Daddy)

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.

Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖

The store is dead. Usually, you don't mind a quiet shift but it's really dull. You come up the aisle of toiletries and watch Mikayla and Nour suddenly part and feign interest in the shelves and tags. Shoot.

Drew sends them a side-eye as he continues through the section, nearing your own. You put a jar of body scrub back on the proper shelf then turn to him and smile. "Hello sir, how are you?"

"I'm not good. There's no customers." He snips.

"Oh, right. I was using the down time to tidy--"

"Down time? Do you know the cost of down time? Do you realise what it costs to run these lights? The AC?"

"Sir, uh, yes," you stammer. "I'm sorry it's slow--"

"And your pay? What good is that if you're doing nothing?"

You gulp, "sir, I'm--"

He looks at his watch and sighs. Is it a real Rolex? It looks real but you wouldn't know one logo from the next.

"Go home."

"What?"

"Clock out," he drops his arm. "Gotta send you home." He pinches the button on the wire of his headset and you hear him through your earpiece as an echo. "Joe, send Sandra home. Place is a ghost town."

"Please, sir, I need the hours--"

"Don't you have another job?" He curls his lip. "Not my problem. Head office is gonna cut back hours next week. We gotta bank what we can for the full-timers."

You pout. Some weeks you work just as much as the full-timers and you put in twice the effort. You need this twice as much. They get benefits and you get the scraps they throw your way.

"Sir--"

"I don't have time to argue with you. I have a budget and a meeting with the regional manager. Things you can't understand," he turns and strides away, snapping his fingers at Nour. "You too, go home."

You recede into the aisle of soap dishes and bath mats. No matter how much you do, it's just all sliding back on you. You slump and shuffle to the back of the store, dejected but not yet defeated. Look at the plus side, it's only four. You have some time to spare.

You go to the back and punch out. You grab your bag and take off your name tag and radio; you put the former in your pocket and slide the other into a cubby on the wall.

You don't go straight to the bus stop. You wind around the back of the plaza and to the next block. A few streets back, past the boys and girls centre, and residential street. The food bank is still open but it's the end of the day. You'll not get the best but it's something.

Inside, they give you a box of non-perishables and a loaf of bread. Powdered milk, a bag of instant oats, some canned soups and beans, tuna, and a box of rice. You thank them and head off, straining under the weight of the box.

The bus comes an hour after that. You can't find a seat so you stand and struggle to balance your load. You get off as first drops of rain start to fall. It's funny sometimes how the world can change to mirror your life. It's not so bad. The moisture will be good for Colleen, Coraline, and Cordelia; the three chrysalis waiting to hatch in your hamper.

You're damp as you get into the apartment. Your mom is on the couch but not asleep. The television hazes over her as she stirs and groans.

"Honey, you're early." She says.

"Sorry to crash your alone time," you say as you set the box down and slip off your shoes. "Sent me home early but I got to the food bank."

"Yay," she gives a monotone whoop. After treatment, she always gets a bit dull around the edges.

There's more mail on the mat. You pick it up with the box of food. You carry it into the kitchen.

You leave the envelopes on the counter and focus on putting away the boxes and cans. Rice and some of the discount pork will be good. You have enough brown sugar for your special sauce.

The prep keeps your mind on point. Marinate on the pan then slide into the pre-heated oven, get the rice in the cooker, and put some frozen veggies in the steaming basket. Easy peasy.

You bring a cup of water to your mom. She has her forehead against her palm, leaning into the armrest. Her eyes are glassy as she stares at the TV.

"Thanks, hon," she murmurs. You pull the throw blanket over her lap.

"No problem. Dinner will be ready soon."

"Sure," she blinks sleepily.

You touch her shoulder softly then retreat. You hope she gets some sleep. You can always save the food.

You go back to the kitchen. Your stomach flips as you stare at the envelopes. The red paper visible through the window is dread-inducing. No point avoiding it.

You step forward as the smell of starch thickens the air. You tear through each envelope and slide out each paper. You lay them out. Three new ones. Big bold letters at the top in that 'Amount Owing' box. You look them over one at a time and stand in silence. You can't even pay one in full.

You stack them and fold them and shove them in your back pocket. You finish cooking dinner. You set aside your mother's portion in a container. She's asleep. You eat in the living room as her soft snores rise from her frail figure.

You wash your dishes and return to her. You help her down to her back and put her legs up. You tug the blanket higher and kiss her scarf.

You go to your room. You sit and the paper crinkles in your back pocket. You huff and reach for your laptop. If it wasn't so old, you could sell it.

You scroll through your activity. Lots of likes. Not too shabby on the followers. People are sharing your videos too. Even just the ones of the butterflies you saw near the pond on your way home.

You wish life could be as happy as that. As those little wings fluttering over the soft ripples. The breeze warm and wilting. The birds singing, the bugs humming.

You scroll through your feed. It's careless things like crochet patterns or painting videos. People are so talented. Your mom used to paint. She did the picture of butterflies hanging over your bed, a fair sitting among the swarm of colourful wings.

There's one post that gives you pause. It's a creator that makes clay earrings. She has a little donate button. Just a dollar or two for people to support her videos. That's awesome but you don't think your stuff is cool enough. You just watch cocoons.

You open a new tab. You fingers move without thinking. Thousands of results come up. You've seen these things before. People in need.

You're in need. No, your mom is. You promised you would do everything you can. You've done everything. This is that last thing. It's a long-shot. You doubt it will get anything but she always said you got to try at least once before making up your mind.

You search through your old photos. You and your mom at your graduation. It's one of your favourites. You start with that.

You stare at the text box. A story? No, that's not what you would call it.

The words pour out of you and you end with a final plea. 'You don't have to give but it would be nice if you could. Take care.'

You leave the page in draft for an hour before you post. You hit the Insta share icon and click through. Then you shut the laptop and push it away from you.

You get up and take the bills out of your pocket and leave them on the desk next to the hamper. You peer through the mesh. Soon.

🦋

The local coffee shop has free wifi. Your internet was shut off at the beginning of the week. It's at the bottom of the priority list. You have the old DVD player and your mom only ever watches the same things over and over. Who needs the news, it's all so grim.

You sit in the corner and hope no one notices that you haven't purchased anything. It's business enough and most people are on their way somewhere else. It's a rare moment where you're not doing the same; rushing to or from work, or to an appointment.

You wish work would call. As much as you need the money, you need something else to think about. Something besides your mom and the hospital bills.

You lean your head in your hands and stare at the phone's wallpaper. It's your mom with a butterfly on her nose. That was an amazing catch.

You blow out through your lips. You can't make it. Worse, because you can't, she won't. How can people put a price on health? On treatment?

An envelope icon pops up on the screen. You don't often see that one. You don't get too many emails that you don't send to junk.

You sit up and tap the screen. 'Yay! You got your first donation'. At first, you think it's a scam. Then you remember what you did. Your username is right there; butterflygirl738.

You open the email and tap the link to your profile. You log in through the browser and nearly choke at the dollar you see on screen. It can't be real. You're delusional. You've finally detached from reality.

'$10,000'. That can't be. It can't.

Below it reads. 'thank anonymous donour'. You have to. You have to make sure they didn't make some sort of mistake.

Your hands shake as you pick up the phone. You type into the chat. 'Thank you so so much <3 Are you sure?' You hit the arrow and lower the phone. They probably won't answer right away. They sent the money this morning. The email must have been caught.

An employee approaches your table, "um, miss, I'm sorry but uh..."

"No, it's okay," you stand and knock the table. "I get it. Sorry. I was uh... waiting for someone but they changed their mind."

You hurry out as your lie hangs in the air. You doubt they even believed it. You stay close enough to keep the signal as your phone vibes in your hand. You check the screen. A reply.

'I'm sure. I hope your mother is well. You too.'

You send a heart emoji as your whole body starts to tremble. Your eyes fill with tears, of disbelief, of gratitude, of joy. It's not a cure but it's an ounce of hope. It's a drop of relief in a bucket of doom.

You sit on the curb of the parking lot as the tears stream out. You keep yourself from heaving, letting the emotion trickle out until your face is cold and sticky. You wipe your cheeks and check your phone again.

'I'd like to help more. Can we talk?'

The message is confusing. More? Talk? They already did so much. It won't wipe away all your debt; not even close; but it will keep you from drowning.

'What do you mean?' You type back. That little circle with the featureless avatar floats ominously on the screen.

'WhatsApp? Audio call?'

Your lips form an O of realization and surprise. You cradle the phone. Uh oh. This might be a mistake. Should you give the money back? What do they want?

'You can think about it.' They type.

You ponder. Ten thousand dollars. You can't hope for more than that. You could never dream of this. And you can't say no. You have to think about your mother. She needs this money, it's not about what you want.

'When?'

You wait and watch the screen. Three dots pop up then disappear. You frown.

You get up as you nearly get kicked by another customer. There's the burger place across the street. They have wifi and you can hide behind the dumpsters.

You run across the road and past the drive-thru. You barely miss a bumper as you do. It's embarrassing but better than being hounded at the coffee place. The employees at the restaurant only offer to share their joints with you as they step out for their break.

'Now.' The reply blips up as your connection is restored. Below, a link to WhatsApp.

You stare at the blue text. Now? Right now? What do you say? You're not ready? You're steel reeling from that number. Who is this person? This kind kind person? What could they possibly want from you?

[rainrot4me]

Yo I've been a fan of your art/writing for a while now and I am really excited to see more of your work!

So I was wondering (for I am a slut for angst/hurt with comfort) how you imagine the characters like Jeff (my fav), Toby, Jack, etc. to be when they hit that breaking point? Like tears, snot, can't breathe, can't talk, kind of breaking point. And how they would act once comforted (or on their own)?

P.s. What animal, alive or extinct, would you want to be and why?

WOOO, I’ve never really been the best at writing angst, but I’ve always loved consuming it letting it rip my soul apart, so here’s my take:

P.S. I’d love to be a timber wolf! They’re gorgeous, and I’ve always had a serious love for them!!

── .✦

✦ . jeff the killer

Breaking Point: It’s not loud, it’s violent, toward others and himself. Blood under his fingernails from clawing at his scalp, his mouth twitching in a broken grin he can’t stop. He laughs hysterically, wet and ugly as tears track down his scarred cheeks. But eventually, it cuts off. Just silence and trembling. He curls in on himself like a wounded animal, too proud to ask for help, too exhausted to push it away.

Response to Comfort: If you touch him, really touch him, gently, it short-circuits him. He jerks like he’s been struck. But if you don’t back off? If you just hold him? He breaks all over again, but softer this time. Barely whispers out,

“Don’t look at me.”

But he doesn’t move away.

✦ . ticci toby

Breaking Point: It starts with the stuttering, then the twitching worsens, hands shaking uncontrollably, gasping breaths like he’s choking on air. His mind overloads and the tics spiral into chaos. He’ll collapse into a corner, pounding fists into his legs or slamming his head back into the wall. He wants to scream but can’t form words. Just sobs through gritted teeth. He’s virtually seizing, absolutely at the mercy of his overworked body finally taking its toll on him.

Response to Comfort: He doesn’t know how to accept it. If you try, he’ll resist at first, flinch away, say,

“I’m fine! I’m fine, I’m—”

But if you stay, if you’re calm and quiet and real, he’ll eventually melt into you. He doesn’t speak, just grabs onto your sleeve like a lifeline and holds until his body is finally too tired to hurt itself any more.

✦ . eyeless jack

Breaking Point: It’s rare. But when it happens, it’s silent devastation. He hides it at first, locks himself away, curls up in the dark with blood on his hands and nothing left to justify it. There are no eyes to cry, but the tremor in his breath and the stillness of his body tell the story. Sometimes he tears off his mask, clutching it like a broken relic, like it’s the only thing left of his long-gone humanity.

“I’m not even human anymore…”

Response to Comfort: He won’t ask for it. But if you offer, not with pity, but with understanding and compassion, he’ll sit beside you in silence. Eventually, he’ll lean his head against your shoulder, and it’s the first time in years he lets himself believe someone might not flinch.

✦ . masky (tim wright)

Breaking Point: Explosive. Rage masks the grief. He yells, throws things, punches walls, and then just collapses, chest heaving, vision blurred. His mind loops between past trauma and the present until he hits the floor, crying so hard he can’t breathe. Hyperventilating. Only The Operator himself could handle the devastation he’d cause if he got around other people.

“Make it stop. Just make it—make it STOP.”

Response to Comfort: Physical touch works, but only if it’s steady. Too fast and he’ll lash out. He needs you to ground him, press a hand to his chest and say his name firmly (if you can derive which one is fronting at the time). If you can keep him from spiraling, he’ll eventually grip your wrist tight and fall apart in your arms like he’s got nothing to be ashamed about the next day.

✦ . hoody (brian thomas)

Breaking Point: Doesn’t allow people to see it. If he hits rock bottom, it’s behind a locked door. Tears are silent, shoulders shaking, fists clenched, rocking back and forth like a man trying to hold his insides together. He talks to himself under his breath, trying to reason his way out of a mind that’s far too loud to be heard in.

“It’s fine. You’re fine. No one has to know. You can fix this.”

Response to Comfort: He doesn’t want comfort, would much rather ride out whatever anguish he’s in than have someone he knows see him in that state. But if you refuse to leave, he’ll try to hide his face in your shoulder and quietly say,

“Don’t… don’t say anything. Just stay.”

It’s not trust, not yet, but it’s close.

✦ . laughing jack

Breaking Point: Utter meltdown. Laughter turning into hysterical sobs mid-sentence, his colors flicker, his body glitches, and he crumbles into a heap of striped limbs and smeared makeup.

“Why won’t they love me? Why do they scream when I try?!”

His clown exterior is shattered, and underneath is someone aching.

Response to Comfort: If you reach out with genuine affection, he doesn’t understand it at first. He cries harder, buries his face in your chest and sobs like a lost child. The moment is short-lived, but real. He’ll pretend it didn’t happen, but part of him remembers.

✦ . clockwork

Breaking Point: Hers is quiet devastation. She’ll try to act normal until she’s alone, then she just sinks. Slumped against a wall, fingernails biting into her thighs, eyes wide but seeing nothing. The tick of the clock embedded in her face becomes the only sound. Her tears are angry, full of shame, and inconsolable.

“You’re weak. You’re weak. Stop it.”

Response to Comfort: She fights it at first, tries to joke, to deflect. But if you sit beside her and just say “You don’t have to do this alone,” something in her breaks. She might whisper,

“I don’t know how to stop.”

If you stay, she’ll finally let herself cry with someone.

✦ . ben drowned

Breaking Point: Like a glitching program, he paces in circles, muttering code and fragmented memories, tearing at his hair. He doesn’t cry, he screams, digital distortion cracking through his voice.

“They deleted me. I was never real to them.”

He spirals into identity collapse, unsure what’s code, what’s emotion.

Response to Comfort: At first, he thinks it’s a trick. But if you show real warmth, like holding his hand or telling him he matters, his entire demeanor flickers. He softens, cries like a corrupted file: broken audio and blinking static, but it’s still a cry.

✦ . slenderman

Breaking Point: Almost incomprehensible. He doesn’t sob, he trembles. His tentacles writhe uncontrollably, psychic static screaming through the air like a storm. If he’s hurt enough to break, reality around him starts to fracture, trees bend, clocks melt, and time warps. Every person within a mile radius has a splintering headache worthy of tears.

Response to Comfort: No one would dare comfort him… but if someone did—touched his arm, whispered they weren’t afraid, the static would dim. He’d pull them into his arms, not for violence, but to hide the quaking of his form. He wouldn’t speak. Just hold them in an impossible silence, grateful but never saying a word.

꩜ .ᐟ

[lordprettyflackotara]

dollhouse || jeff the killer

SMUT. MINORS DNI. 18+. PLEASE READ TW LIST: MURDER, YOU ARE A CREEP/MURDERER, blood kink? kinda?, choking, hate sex, enemies to prob lovers trope, orgasm denial, etc etc. yes there will be a part two ;) <3

part two

“God fucking dammit!”

The screech left your mouth involuntarily, your hand gripping the back door and slamming it shut. The sound echoed through out the kitchen, your vision borderline seeing red. You continued to mutter curses under your breath as you stormed into the living room. Ben nearly bent his neck backwards trying to look at you from the couch, “Uh, something wrong?”

Your eyes were shooting daggers as you looked at him. The blonde would’ve cowered in fear if he didn’t find you tragically attractive. (Considering you’ve made it very clear you are off limits from any mansion residents). “I got a fucking assignment like i’m a goddamn proxy,” You grumbled, stomping into the living room. Lazily you flopped down on the couch beside Ben, running your fingers through your hair.

Ben playfully elbowed you. “Oh cmon, that’s not that bad. Every creep has had to go on a mission for Slendy at one time or another,” He said cheerfully, resuming his button mashing on his xbox controller. You slumped in your seat, sighing as you propped up your head.

“Yeah, but not every creep has been paired with Jeffrey Woods.”

“Don’t flatter yourself sunshine, i’m not happy to be paired with you either,” Jeffs cold voice rang from the staircase. Ben looked back and forth between you to, pausing his game. “Oh and call me that again and i’ll slit your throat,” Jeff barked. He casually strolled down the stairs, parking himself in his usual chair by the window. You refrained from looking at him, his face making you physically sick. “I don’t know what you’re complaining about either. If I were you i’d be dropping my fucking panties and praising Slender,” Jeff continued. His rambling was growing tiresome, your patience becoming thinner.

You and Jeff were equally as aggressive, which led to many disputes and many more fist fights. Jeff never knew when to shut his mouth and you never knew when to stop throwing punches. “You single handedly have the best killer on your team and you’re still running your mouth. At this point it’s a mystery why your folks didn’t stitch it shut,” Jeff snickered. Your ears twitched visibly, your eyes widening at the sound of him mentioning your human family. Your human life.

In a swift motion you dug the (carefully thought out) emergency knife from the couch, throwing it at his head. You were known for your aim, your accuracy. The blade whisked past Jeff, digging into the wall. “You’re gonna break a window!” Ben screeched. Jeff frowned, glaring at the knife in the wall behind him. “You missed doll face,” He seethed. You grinned your petty scheme paying off.

“Did I?”

A warm liquid began trickling down Jeff’s ear, his fingers reaching to identify the source. Crimson red blood stained his fingertips, the lobe of his ear nipped by the launched blade. “You bitch i’ll kill you!” Jeff yelled, rising from his seat. You matched his energy, standing up immediately. Despite Jeff’s tall size you refused to let him intimate you, your gaze always burning with a sincere hatred. Ben was quick to hop around you, wedging himself in between you both.

“Guys let’s think about this, you know Slender’s rules,” The blonde suggested. Typically Ben didn’t give two shits about Creeps wrestling it out. Shit, last week he let Masky throw Toby into the coffee table. (Shattered it, by the way.) But he genuinely liked the both of you, considering you both his best friends. Your eyes flickered past Jeff for a moment, landing at the disney princess clock Sally had requested.

“Shit we’re late. Clean yourself up and let’s go.”

\/

One key thing was to be known about Slender missions: if you had any questions, you kept them to yourself. This is what you tried to convince yourself as you pulled on a set of scrubs. Cosplaying as a nurse was not on your bucket list, certainly not like this. “Could you be any slower?” Jeff huffed. You both stood in the back alley of the hospital, a keycard having been delivered to you to gain entry. Jeff stood on the other side of the car, facing the wall. You threatened to scoop his eyes out if he looked at you changing, the mere threat alone leading to half of his annoyance.

“Oh im sorry, maybe if your face didn’t look like it went through a meat grinder you could’ve been the doctor,” You spat, venom lacing your words. You shoved on your face mask, your key card pinned to your shirt. You rounded the car, shoving Jeff his sunglasses and blue face mask. “Do I look legit?” You asked. Jeff scowled as he shoved on the sunglasses, shoving his hood over his head. “I wouldn’t trust you with a walnut, nevertheless my life,” He snarled. You had learned long ago to discard anything Jeff said to you, no matter how hurtful or spiteful it seemed to be.

But he noticed your eyebrows briefly furrowing, your eyes flickering with concern you didn’t look nurse like enough to complete the mission. “But yeah I guess you look like a healthcare professional,” Jeff finished, shoving his face mask on. You locked the car, shoving the keys into your scrubs. Jeff’s part was to play a sick patient, one you were taking to the emergency wing. The same wing where they had a lab with copious amounts of blood bags. Again, you were never supposed to ask questions. But you couldn’t help but wonder what or who Slender would be feeding with these bags.

“Why did you make me wash my hoodie again? The blood on it could’ve looked like I was coughing it up,” Jeff asked. Jeff was notorious for not wanting to wash his hoodie. You figured it was an ego thing, pride always seeming to drip off of him when he paraded around in his victims blood. Grabbing your keycard you bypassed the pitiful security system, the door unlocking with a click. You grabbed him by his shoulder, assertively guiding him inside. “Yeah we would’ve wanted you to look like you were coughing up blood, not coming back from a murder scene,” You whispered. The bright hospital lights were borderline overstimulating, your vision narrowing as you struggled to remember instructions.

Jeff sensed this, fake coughing and jerking his head towards the sign. West wing. Great. You led Jeff through the busy hospital, nodding respectfully at any medical staff that made eye contact with you. No one seemed suspicious, just another human nursing a sick patient back to health, right? The journey felt longer than it was, your nerves gnawing at you. It wasn’t the fear of being identified necessarily. You and Jeff (if you managed to work together as a team) could certainly slaughter this entire hospital floor and get away. It’s not like many would try to fight you both off either.

Creeps were not to make spectacles of themselves by having their identifies revealed to humans. Camera systems were in place, people had cell phones, police were nowadays just one click away. If you both failed to remain secretive, you’d violate one of Slender’s rules. And if you cared to live another day with more than three brain cells in tact, you did not disobey Slender.

Finally reaching the west wing brought instant relief, both of you reaching your destination. You swiped your keycard, both of you pushing into the room. A middle aged man stood at the counter, turning around to see who had entered. He briefly turned back around, before realizing Jeff did not appear to be medical staff. You shoved a metal cart in front of the door, Jeff quick to take out the threat. “Go to sleep,” He snickered, slitting the man’s throat. You rolled your eyes, grabbing a trash bag from under the sink.

“gO tO sLeEp,” You muttered mockingly. You wondered when he’d retire the corny catchphrase. You threw your mask aside, tired of playing pretend. Jeff strolled over to the fridge, yanking open the door. Blood pooled on the floor beneath his shoes, staining them as he crouched down. Jeff wasn’t bothered in any capacity, reaching out to grab a trash bag. You both began shoving the bags into the bag, grabbing each and every type. “Wait did Slender want the different blood types in different bags?” Jeff asked. You sighed, ignoring him as he stopped and looked at you. He yanked off the mask and tossed aside the sunglasses, his obsidian eyes boring into yours. “He didn’t specify,” You shrug, grabbing another row of bags.

“He didn’t specify? So why wouldn’t you do it then?” Jeff asked. You rolled your eyes, dropping your hands. “What does it matter? We’re putting bags of blood into trash bags and delivering it like we’re in the twilight zone. We don’t even know what this is for,” You argued. You went to grab another bag, Jeff’s pale hand harshly grabbing your arm. “Exactly, we don’t know what it’s for. Meaning we should play it safe,” Jeff debated. You yanked your arm away from him, disgusted by his touch. Angrily you dropped the trash bag, standing up.

“You just want an excuse to argue. I knew you would fuck this mission up,” You growled. Jeff rose to his feet, towering over you as he did so. “I’m fucking up the mission? You’re the one who’s being sloppy,” He said, poking your chest. You shoved his shoulders, hating his touch. “You’re the sloppy one. Yeah Jeff get your shoes stained with the humans blood so they can look for it later. We’ll just have to burn it in the middle of nowhere,” You said, gesturing to his shoes. Jeff rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. “Them knowing my shoes, which by the way, are converse, which half of the planet owns, is not a big fucking deal,” He said mockingly.

You threw your arms up, exasperated. “Yes it is! Because then they’ll link it to any other crime they’ve captured with a stupid pale guy in converse and it’ll be all over the news, and you know how Slender hates the media-” You began, before the hallway light stopped your sentence for you. Two nurses shoved their way inside of the room, both of you freezing. Shit.

Jeff grabbed both of them by their scrubs, yanking them inside and slamming the door. He shoved his hand over the first one’s mouth, slamming her onto the cold floor. Your victim seemed dumbfounded, her eyes widening in the same fear that dripped off of every victim of yours. “Dont scream bitch, whatever you do, don’t scream,” You suggested. You didn’t look visibly armed, maybe she’d listen to you. As Jeff repeatedly stabbed her coworker in the chest, she changed her mind. A shallow gasp left her lips before you were on her like a wild animal, your pocket knives blade stabbing her from the underside of her chin.

Not your preferred method, gallons of her blood pouring down onto you and your scrubs. Her eyes went blank as the soul left her body, her life officially drained. Crimson paint coated your entire front side, the skin on your arms stained with the color. “There is no fucking way i’m going to be able to walk through the hospital like this,” You seethed. You turned to Jeff, tossing the nurses limp corpse aside. “You should’ve been keeping a lookout instead of picking an argument!” You exclaimed. Jeff rose to his feet above his own victim, her organs on full display as smashed lumps of meat.

“Nothings ever your fault, is it sunshine? Maybe take some responsibility for your fuckups instead of pinning it on me,” Jeff spat. You hated him. You hated him beyond belief. You also hated that he in one way or another, was right. You let him get in your head and distract you from the mission. In a fit of rage you shoved at his chest, the pale killer having enough of your hissy fit. He shoved you back, pushing you against the counter. Slipping on the blood beneath you, you instinctively grabbed handfuls of Jeff’s hoodie, dragging him with you.

His body smashed into yours as your back hit the counter, both of you breathing heavily. You glared up at him, his body not deserting yours. He licked his dry lips, observing you from above. Your chin and neck were coated in blood, along with the rest of you. When Jeff came to think of it, you didn’t look half bad when your mouth was shut and you were covered in his favorite liquid. Glaring up at him you noticed he was stained the same way, splatters of blood painting his face. “I hate you,” You seethed. Jeff leaned in closer to you, his face an inch away from yours.

“I hate you too sunshine. Don’t ever think for a moment I don’t,” He replied. You could feel your heart beginning to race, the close proximity making your stomach do back flips. “Why would I think you don’t?” You asked. Jeff hesitated, knowing what he was about to do would change everything. But fuck he could not resist a hot chick covered in blood. “Cause of this,” He huffed, smashing his lips into yours. You were surprised to find yourself kissing him back, clashes of teeth ensuing more than a traditional kiss. His large hands helped you onto the counter, the pale killer wedging himself between your legs.

You wrapped your arms around Jeff’s neck, bringing him closer. You both were willingly jeopardizing the mission, all for a sweet release. Because you both knew deep down that you both were the same, cut from the same cloth. Jeff’s hands slid up your thighs, reaching for the hem of your scrubs. Your lips refusing to stray from his, awkwardly lifting your hips to help him take them off. Jeff’s tongue slid into your mouth, the faint taste of a monster energy drink dancing across your tongue. Jeff was quick to pull down your pants and panties, leaving you completely exposed.

“We don’t have much time,” You panted into his lips, nibbling on his bottom lip. Your hands reached for his pants, fiddling with the belt. Jeff rubbed two fingers up and down your slick, sickly satisfied with how wet you were for him. “You’re fucking drenched. I knew your slutty ass wanted me,” He snickered. You glared up at him, wrapping your legs around his waist. Without thinking you raised an open hand, slapping Jeff across the cheek. The stinging electrified him, his cock throbbing with a more intense desire.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” He seethed, shoving two fingers inside of you. You let out a groan, your hand slithering down to your clit. “Who are you supposed to be pretending to be now? Ben?” You asked, relishing in the sight of his pale cheek turning pink. He curled his long fingers inside of you, your eyes fluttering shut as you moaned. “You greedy bitch, pay attention,” Jeff growled. His spare hand flew to your throat, harshly gripping at the sides. Your eyes burst open, meeting his dark orbs. “Thats it, look at me as I ruin you,” Jeff ordered.

You began drawing quick circles around your clit, biting your inner lip. “You gonna make me cum or just keep talking?” You huffed, grinning as his grip on your neck tightened. Jeff continued finger fucking you, your groans music to his ears. “You sick bitch. You like me choking you, huh?” He taunted. You could feel yourself getting closer to the edge, your orgasm threatening to wash over you. Jeff could sense so too, releasing your throat and yanking away your hand from your clit. His fingers emerged from your cunt, just as you were teetering on the edge of cumming.

“You fucking asshole, fuck you,” You seethed. You spat in his face, your saliva coating the same cheek you slapped. Jeff picked you up off of the counter, slamming you against the closest wall. Aggressively he pulled down his pants and boxers, his lips meeting yours again. For such a prick he was intoxicating, his lips working wonders against yours. “Be patient for once you brat. You’re gonna cum on my cock like a good whore should,” Jeff grumbled, rubbing his shaft up and down your slick. He forcefully shoved himself inside of you, your body splitting in half as his dick bottomed out inside of you.

You gripped his blood stained hoodie, your palms covered in the liquid you could never escape. You swallowed as you screwed your eyes shut, attempting to adjust. Your body was tense and still, your breathing heavy. You expected Jeff to be a prick and move, ramming into you the way he wanted to. But he didn’t, his eyes watching you intently. Slowly and unsurely he grabbed your chin, forcing your head towards. His touch seemed too caring to be real, his lips working against yours again. Your body slowly relaxed, his lips bringing you ease.

Jeff hadn’t expected you to be overly experienced, your walls squeezing him like you were a virgin. An uneasy silence flooded between you to as you fully adjusted, your eyes fluttering open. “Jeff, move,” You ordered weakly, straying away from his heroin laced lips. The pale killer wanted to deny you, to make you beg for him. But as your victims blood pooled at his shoes once more, he knew he didn’t have time for that. He began moving quickly, his thrust rough and reckless. His cock abused your g spot just like his words abused your sanity.

“You’re bigger than I thought you’d be,” You huffed, unable to stop yourself from insulting the man who was providing you euphoric pleasure. Jeff laughed dryly, burying himself in the crook of your neck. “You’re tighter than I thought you’d be. I thought you’d be so desperate as to let EJ fuck you and stretch out this cunt of yours,” He rambled, jealousy ensuing. He hated how well you got along with EJ. He hated how seeing you laugh with him made him feel. He didn’t understand it. That nagging feeling. He couldn’t understand it. He didn’t want to understand it.

You licked your lips as you tried to contain your sinful noises, Jeffs name finally straying from your lips as he abused your cunt. “Thats it, moan my fucking name,” He praised, a sick satisfaction making his hips snap into you faster. His breath was hot against your neck, the twisted fucker licking the side of your neck. The taste of sweat and blood was intoxicating to him, the killer only more turned on by the taste. You could feel yourself finally close to the finish line, your hands combing into Jeff’s shaggy ash black hair.

“Fuck, right there. Please don’t stop,” You whined, unable to stop the plea from falling off of your lips. Who was Jeff to deny you of that? Your walls spasmed around him as you came, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. Jeff came with a grunt, huffing into your neck as his warm seed flooded your cunt. You both were frozen for a moment, the realization of what had just happened washing over you. You shoved Jeff’s chest, pushing him away from you. The pale killer backed away, removing himself from your cunt.

He watched as you shoved your clothes back on, grabbing the trash bag.

“Get dressed bitch boy, we have a mission to finish.”

[vorfreudevortex]

For Sale

levi x blind!fem!reader cw: 2k words. the angst of all angst!!! - arguing, name calling, saying things you don't mean, etc (idk how to tag this). LOTS of cussing (you mad afff). not proofread! tldr: you find out levi put the house up for sale and you angrily go to confront him. find more of these imbeciles in my masterlist

“I’ll be sad to see you go, Miss,” The mailman says politely as he hands you today’s letters.

“Oh…? What do you mean?”

“The letter on top… is an official offer letter.”

“An offer for what?” You asked, alarm bells ringing in your head.

“Well, the house, of course,” The mailman responds, like you were supposed to know. Well, you were supposed to know.

You slam the door in the mailman’s face.

You and Levi don’t argue often, at most it’s once or twice a year. But when you do? It’s like all hell has broken loose. Erwin, after getting stuck in a fight once, compared it to little Titans brawling to death. Hange once noted that it wasn’t Levi yelling that made them feel unease, but the way that you— the always sweet, smiling girl in the pretty dresses— would unleash lightning hot, unbridled rage with cuss words coating every sentence with venom.

You throw on a nicer dress, the one you know Levi loves, and fix your hair like it is when he never fails to compliment you. You furiously stumble through the crowded streets of Trost, bumping into strangers and growling curses under your breath as you find your way to the Survey Corps Headquarters, the offer letter crumpled in your clenched fist.

+++++++++++++++

“Captain?” A muffled voice from behind his door asks. “You have a visitor. The M-Missus is here.”

Levi checks his watch. You never visit this early in the afternoon, since you know he’s always busiest during this time of the day. He wonders if something came up, or if you were truly feeling bored enough to come see him on a whim.

“Well, are you going to let her in or make her sit out there in the streets?” He calls back.

“W-We told her you were busy, but she demanded entry anyways,” The Scout’s voice wavers. “I think she’s really—”

“—Leviii!”

He jumps up from his desk at the sound of your voice, the shout echoing down the stony halls of the headquarters. Levi already knows the entire floor heard it, scampering away or shutting their doors tight to pretend they aren’t about to overhear the clash of the century. Your hand is numb as it quickly runs over the cold wall beside you, keeping your balance and leading your memorized path to his office.

“You son of a bitch,” You growl, pushing past the door, stumbling over the uneven stones and floorboards, bumping into the furniture as you barge in. Levi shuts the door tight behind you, ignoring the shocked face of the guard behind it. “You shithead, where are you?”

“What the hell is your problem?” He hisses, grabbing your arms and turning you to face him. Right off the bat, he notices the dress you chose to wear, the one that was the same color as his cloak and made your complexion glow— his favorite.

On top of that, he sees that the buttons over your chest are done wrong, fastened in a fury to get over here and scream at him. Levi doesn’t have a chance to take in how pretty you look before you punch his chest with a fistful of the offer letter, making him trip backwards.

“That’s my problem, what fuck else could it be?” You seethe. “When the hell were you going to tell me about selling the house?”

“I wasn’t.” His voice is low, almost uncaring, but you can hear the guilt that hides beneath it.

You let out a dry, humorless laugh. “You can’t be fucking serious.”

“You need to leave,” He says. “I’m not discussing this here with you.”

“Like hell I am! Spit it out, Levi. All of it.”

“Goddammit,” He huffs. “I thought I’d skip the part where you lose your shit, but I should’ve known better.”

“Skip the—?” Your voice raises back up, sharp enough to crack the walls around you. “Be serious. You were going to sell our fucking house and not tell me? I live there, you motherfucker!”

It hurts, everything hurts so bad. You haven’t felt anguish like this in years, your body doesn’t know what to do. You never thought Levi would ever do anything like this, always so calculated and caring and… loyal.

Maybe he’s changed, maybe he’s different now. Things haven’t been the quite same since the Colossal Titan first appeared, maybe it deteriorated him in a way you haven’t noticed until now. At this point, you’re just grasping for straws and any excuse for his uncharacteristic, abominable actions.

“Lower your voice,” Levi hisses. “You’re only proving me right. We should talk about this later.”

“No, we’re talking about it now.”

“You need to go home,” He takes hold of you arm. “I’ll have a guard walk you back.”

You tear your arm away and stomp further into the room, farther away from the door where you know Levi will soon start to push you towards. “Did you really think it’d be easier to sell the house out from under me instead of telling me like a goddamn adult? How fucking mature of you, Levi. What was your plan anyways? Sell me with it?”

His boots shuffle against the floor, you can feel the soft vibrations as he takes a few steps toward you. “It’s better than listening to you pretend like you actually like living in that shithole,” He says, letting his voice raise the littlest bit. You notice how he avoids your last question. “The place is practically falling apart.”

“So fix it!” You spin back towards his voice, teeth gritted and jaw clenched tight. “And I’ve never pretended about anything with you. I don’t give a fuck about how old the house is, I care that I live there— We live there. We’ve always lived there, since we came here. You— you fucking idiot! The house doesn’t matter, it’s the ‘we’ part of it. But you clearly couldn’t give less of a shit about any of that either!”

“Don’t you start acting as if I’m the one lying,” He finally snaps, voice now loud enough to be heard down the hall. Levi may not always be kind with his words, but the only other time he raises his voice to this level is on the battlefield. “You wouldn’t even know the fucking difference if I did.”

You freeze. The air in the room stills, the first bit of silence stretches since you first barged in. You can hear your blood roaring through your veins as Levi’s fatal words sink into your heart. His office feels too small now, the walls closing in on your chest.

“Wow,” You bite back with a slow, low voice as you soak in the heaviness of the jab. “I never thought you would actually use it against me.”

“You cut first,” He shoots back, almost growling. His brain is screaming at him to apologize but he can't spit out the words— using your blindness against you was a promise he swore he'd never break. “Don’t bitch when I cut back.”

“Fuck you. You should’ve just left me in the Underground if you were going to pull this bullshit.”

Levi barks out a dry, sarcastic laugh. “Maybe I should’ve. You would’ve been better off.”

“B-Better off?” You repeat, choking on disbelief. He selfishly turns away when he sees the angry, hot tears flood down your cheeks. He knows it’ll just make himself hurt more to allow himself to watch it. “Better off? I would’ve died down there— Actually, you’re right. I would much rather have slowly starved and puked myself to fucking death from the plague than to let myself be taken advantage of and double-crossed like this.”

“Don’t say shit you don’t mean,” His voice almost cracks at the edges. “You would’ve figured it out.”

“You’re so fucking right, Levi.” You both know you wouldn’t have.

“Fuck— Enough already,” He quickly snaps back. “Either way, you’re just another body to burn. You—”

“—You shitspitting coward! So you were just going to leave me first, is that it?” Your voice is low, almost dangerous. You step towards him as he puts a hand on your arm before you run right into him, letting you know where he is. You clench onto a fistful of the fabric at his chest, right where his cloak is fastened together. “How brave of you, Captain. How fucking righteous— How dedicated.”

The silence that follows his lack of response is deafening, overwhelming. He watches your stream over your chin and down your neck, the collar of your dress deepening in color as it soaks them up. Dedicated— What a foul, wicked term to throw in his face… although Levi knows he deserves it. You swallow hard, throat dry. The argument has spiraled so far from the house’s offer letter than you aren’t even sure where it started.

“Go ahead, Captain,” You mutter, letting go of his cloak and angrily swiping away your tears. His shoulders tense further at the title, he hates when you call him that. It’s so dehumanizing when you use it; he’s always just been Levi to you, and that’s all he wants to be. “Sell the house. Sell the furniture and the memories. You can find our dead mothers’ tea sets in the trunk upstairs, I bet you’ll get a damn good price for it.”

Levi flinches at that, you hear it in the way his breath stutters.

“You can sell me with the house while you’re at it,” You continue. “Since I’m just another thing you’ve kept around too long to feel comfortable with. If you want to get rid of me so fucking badly, like all the other memories you’ve chosen to forget about, then I’ll go.”

“Don’t talk like that,” It’s all he has to say. He can’t even think of anything else to respond with, whether it’s an apology or yet another hurtful stab he doesn’t mean and already regrets. Levi despises how he gets like this, emotional and… impulsive. He’s always so collected, even at death’s door, but it all falls apart when you’re in his face, and suddenly his emotions have no more boundaries.

“Why? It’s the truth, isn’t it?” You seethe. “You must’ve been halfway out the door for months now. Don’t back down now that it’s finally in writing.”

“I wasn’t doing it for me,” His quiet voice still holds a sharp edge. “I was trying to make sure you’d have a place— A place where you didn’t have to worry about my shit.”

You just scoff. “I’m serious,” He continues. “I… didn’t want you to have to worry about dealing with it. Alone.”

“Maybe I want to deal with it alone,” You say, voice breaking as you realize what he’s referring to. “I’d choose that any day over whatever ridiculous plan you’ve made in your head. You’re just too selfish to accept that. You’d rather just run away before I can even admit that I—”

You cut yourself off, biting your lip hard between your teeth. You hear his breath hitch. Moments go by where neither of you speak. You don’t know it, but you’re staring right into Levi’s eyes, and he can’t make himself look away.

“Say it,” He’s breathless. “I fucking dare you.”

You don’t. And neither does he.

+++++++++++++++

Neither of you spoke after that. Levi didn’t come home that night. You knew he wouldn’t, he knew to give you space after an explosive argument like that. Erwin and Hange didn’t say anything either, only saying what they needed to after overhearing the shouts and leaving him alone for the rest of the evening.

The fight seemed to burn everything else away, leaving nothing but the heavy, haunting things you’ve both avoided to admit for years. But still, neither of you said the words you really wanted to. Not yet, anyways.

The argument ended the way it always does and like everything else between you two: unfinished.

That night, you dreamt of a sandy plain, lit up by a dark sky littered with glittering stars. It’s just as you remembered it, as a child at the top of the Underground City steps, back when Erwin’s face was still somewhat visible to you as he helped you and Levi into a carriage heading for the Survey Corps Headquarters.

The dream’s sky was empty, peaceful. It’s not often anymore that you have a dream where you can see again, where your imagination takes so much inspiration from memories that you might even wake up confused when everything is so hazy. So, you spent the limited time you had in that ethereal place staring at the stars, trying to memorize them once again and wishing Levi was there with you.

You later declined the offer letter, Levi knew you would and let you do it. In a confusing and mysterious turn of events a few days later, the man who offered the down payment on the house passed away with no family to leave behind, and Levi was thrown into a gray area of deeds and laws and no idea what to do next. In the end, he was left with a hefty armful of money, and the house still in his possession.

In a silent panic of love and a quickly-ticking clock, Levi managed to scare an official by the edge of his blades into quietly adding your name alongside his to the deed of the house.

Two weeks later, Levi heads for the sea.

It’s you who finds the drawer full of coins the next morning. It’s you who counts the days he’s gone, you who counts the coins until they start to dwindle. But it’s him who dreams of your smile every night with his head against the dirt by the crackling campfire, him who allows a single, quiet tear fall when he realizes your flowery scent is disappearing from your favorite handkerchief that he stole.

It’s you that Levi wields his blades for as his will begins to call out endlessly for his return, and it’s you he begins to write a letter to when the bearded shithead and the other Scouts have fallen asleep amid the giant trees. It remains unfinished in his inner pocket, closest to his heart, when the wine betrays him and the spear explodes.

It remains that way for days and months, long after the Titans break the walls and cause the dirt beneath your shoes to rumble and shake, running for your life and tripping over the stones in the street until someone drags you away with them— Not knowing he was so close to you, covered in bandages with wavering faith.

It remains that way long after you’re certain he’s dead and flattened into the ground, his still-unwashed tea cup on your kitchen table the only thing forcing you to hold onto any hope.

Both of your thoughts remain unsaid and unfinished, unsure and unrelieved, just like everything else between you two.

© vorfreudevortex // all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, or repost my work.

[jelly-opal]

Another rebuttal to people who say Tech is the weak one on this lovely Tech Tuesday:

He is the pilot of the squad, and that dude throws the Marauder around in some pretty intense maneuvers. The Marauder is not small, even compared to a LAAT (size difference is esp. noticeable in 02x11), which means it is absolutely massive next to something like a V-wing. So we're talking a huge ship, plus one that has to pull against gravity when planetside.

We don't know what "modified" means specifically, but I'm assuming the Marauder has more juice than a standard Omicron and improved weapons (meaning increased weight). The primary point just being that a base Omi probably isn't going to handle like the Marauder does. We also see that they're carrying a ton of stuff and several people. Plus, more often than not, SOMETHING is wrong with the Marauder, adding to the challenge to keep that thing going in the right direction.

Using real-world examples is kind of tough here, but for the sake of my argument, I think they're still worth mentioning. Fighter pilots have to be able to strategically engage certain muscles to not pass out during high G maneuvers. NASCAR drivers have to constantly offset the car's feedback while steering, braking, etc. In both cases, just controlling a giant machine however many times heavier than they are for an extended amount of time requires strength and stamina, all the additional movements and things aside. (Am I calling Tech a NASCAR driver? Yeah. It's canon, leave me alone.)

I think a good bit here is in 01x12 when Tech punches it (where even Wrecker has to hold on), Tech Turns, then sweeps over those cannons so Wrecker can take them out, and then pulls the ship straight back up over that canyon. He's clearly working hard with the ship to make that happen.

Tech is almost always the one piloting, in both non-conflict situations (hyperspace, for example), and dogfighting against comparably tiny, nimble starfighters in what can only be described as an airborne tank. More importantly though: he was presumably the primary pilot before we meet CF99 in TCW. So add that to the time we see him in TBB. He'd been honing that skill for a while. I wouldn't be surprised if he had to pop a Space Aleve from time to time, just given the cumulative strain that flying plus piloting would put on the body.

So you take the piloting and add all the standard GAR requirements onto that, and the pulling metal back from a wall thing, and carrying Echo up a ladder on his back, and numerous punches thrown, and the ipsium, and pulling himself and Phee up that huge wall on Pabu with one arm, and...yeah, he's strong.

[psychicreadsgirl]

Random Fast Love Readings - Kpop Idols

ATEEZ San

Lots of strings attached to him - he isn't short of admirers and people who crush on him; he also has a very flirty energy so he can link onto many different people, possibly leading people on without realizing/intending to do so

Playful, charming energy in romance - fun person to be around and has a good sense of humor

Needs strong sexual/physical attraction to be able to romantically involved with someone

Can have flings/very short term relationships - may not even be relationships but just physical attraction

Love comes fast and goes fast

NCT Jeno

Strong, strong need to dominate/be in control in relationships - must be the one who decides on things ; control can be like controlling the person's friendships/fashion/career etc -> can become a negative trait if he obsesses over this

Fights can become physical if he's triggered very badly -> could be throwing items to the ground or possibly hurting himself by punching a wall or possibly at its worse, could involve hurting the other person

Very intense physical or sexual chemistry/attraction with partners

Touch is very important to him

Can have a rather romantic side especially during beginning stages of dating

Can be very sweet too in relationships

Illit Yunah

Very fierce in relationships - must have final say

Easily jealous in relationships even though will play it cool - cannot really bear her partners to have very close friendships with others

The type to want the partners' passwords and will check on their messages etc

Likes to act indifferent/nonchalant in relationships when she cares a lot and often overthinks about things

Rather insecure in love and worries a lot about what the partners think about her

Will often feel conflicted in love like not sure what she really wants out of a relationship

ALLDAY PROJECT Annie Moon

Often attracted to people who only want to use her (either her fame/power/family/wealth)

She's pretty bad at staying away from people who are clearly "red flags"

She likes those who are rebellious, very cool, have a mind of their own, stylish, daring, courageous, very fun, playful (not really the nerdy/standard "good student" type)

She often has difficulty connecting with her partners on a deeper/emotional level - her partners often don't understand her wants/needs; they often take her for granted too ; she herself doesn't necessarily know what she wants in love too.

She craves those those deep, intense love story with a mix of fairy tale in it but she finds it hard to put in the work to maintain a relationship

She can be too used to giving people material things/gifts that she doesn't really know how to express herself emotionally in love

Stray Kids Hyunjin

Can be rather cold/distant in relationships - his partners find it difficult to engage with him or understand him

Doesn't really prioritize his love life in life

Has quite a bit of admirers

He's not really looking for anything very serious at this time - could change in future

Lots of short relationships where his partners end up breaking up with him bc they feel he's not interested in them/cares about them/wants to be in this relationship

Doesn't really put that much effort in love/relationships -> not really the type to pursue someone, more so the type to accept someone's confession

Can separate love from sex

Can have quite the temper at times - like suddenly shouting during an argument or telling the partner to leave

Not romantic, more mellow - prefers chiller dates

Jeon Somi

Playful, funny partner; can like to play pranks on her partners

Has a hard time finding a genuine partner - often her relationships will end up being over because she can't feel that emotional/mental connection

Her partners often expect her to be 1 way but she turns out opposite so they get bored/disappointed in her

Has a traditional side too in a relationship

During arguments can get aggressive and say very hurtful things or throw items or hit the partners

Quite talkative and would want her partners to be able to have convos with her

[sidewalk-cracks]

In the wake of hearing that DC is making a Dick Grayson and Jason Todd movie and that they're supposedly gonna be screwing up Dick and Jason's backstories, I started thinking about what kind of Nightwing & Red Hood movie I would want to see, in addition to what kind of batfam movies in general I would want to see. I offer for consideration:

Nightwing and Red Hood: Last Defenders. While on patrol, Nightwing stumbles upon the hints of a truly diabolical plot taking shape to topple not just Gotham, but possibly the entire planet while the majority of Earth's heroes are presently indisposed, including most of the batfam. Batman and most of the JL are off world, the Titans are tied up, even Alfred's away, etc- leaving Nightwing and Red Hood as the only two people left to defend Gotham. This is set in a world sometime after UtRH; Jason's identity has been revealed, and he has an uneasy truce settled with the Bats ("you don't bother me, I don't bother you"). The movie follows them through their journey as Dick tries to convince Jason to work with him, they narrowly escape lots of explosions, and argue about Dick's failings as a brother and everything Jason has done since coming back. It all culminates in an epic 2v1 battle with the Big Bad and resolves with them saving the day and coming to an emotional understanding- a hopeful ending, looking towards a future in which Jason might be able to improve his standing with the Bats. BONUS END CREDITS SCENE: Bruce arrives home to a quiet manor. He goes to the kitchen and makes some tea. Goes to the den, and draws up short in the doorway. Dick and Jason are sprawled across the couch, half on top of each other, dead asleep. The credits of a movie are scrolling on the TV. Bruce buffers for a moment, before smiling and deftly whipping out his phone and snapping several pictures. Then he turns off the TV, drapes a blanket over them, and kisses both of them on the forehead.

The Waynes in: Mission Impossible. Bruce and his sons must attend the fancy gala of Evil Rich Man, and foil his diabolical supervillain plot while undercover as the Wayne family. Ideally, without ruining the gala. (Spoiler: they ruin the gala). This is firmly an action comedy, with maybe some sprinkles of family angst thrown in. Otherwise, though, this movie includes a gratuitous amount of puns, the Wayne Men in really sharp tuxes, Jason blowing up several things, Tim and Bruce holding the only braincells in the operation, Jason losing his suit jacket and tie 5 minutes into the gala, and Bruce being Tired. At a later point in the mission they need a distraction, and without hesitation Damian whips around and punches Tim in the face. They proceed to have a very loud and explosive fistfight. Tim YEETS Damian into the dessert table. Bruce groans into his hands.

The Battle of Wayne Manor. Dick, Jason, and Alfred are the only ones home to defend the Manor against a dangerous team of superhuman home invaders, Home Alone style. As soon as the three of them are aware of the situation, Alfred marches over to a panel in the wall, opens up a secret compartment, and pulls out an AK-47. "I have not spent three-fourths of my life at this Manor for a group of brutish, arrogant thugs to think they can just waltz in and lay claim to the place. As you like to say, Master Jason- let's light em up, boys." This can be a serious film or another action comedy. It's pretty much just Home Alone with some guns thrown in. They blind the invaders with several disgustingly bright glitter bombs and then Alfred whips out from behind a corner with his rifle, they've got booby traps on all the staircases, Jason's throwing pies at people, etc. The most important detail is that they successfully defend their home as civilians. No use of vigilante skills whatsoever. The news are baffled and the boys cheekily only comment that Home Alone is a cherished childhood film in their household. This plot could be edited to include Tim, Damian, and even Bruce as well, I just initially thought of it as just Dick, Jason, and Alfred.

[alexanderlightweight]

it's been a very intense week. but also i spent today resting when i could and trying to save mental spoons because wednesday!!!! still stuck on new names, just have had no extra spoons to think of it.

however i'm finally catching up on a lot of stuff that piled up around the house? and taking care of the people i love since that's important but it takes so much energy to look out for not only other people but also yourself (the harder part for me).

and i burnt out energy wise. i was falling asleep on the couch or snuggling with Nightshade on his dogbed once and yeah.

anyways, i've been doing my best to conserve energy and honestly i'm just excited to finally have a day where the goal is rest/write/recover. because i've mostly succeeded in getting wednesdays off for now (maybe a small project or two but nothing intense)

(writing is restful in this scenario, its not work)

Saeth is on this new medication that has made existing really hard for them. so that's been another bit of exhausted stress? It's really hard to... not care? though exhaustion can bring apathy, it's just hard to be. it's not even apathy, there is no energy for even that. when you're that tired you just know the desire to sleep and the release of no longer feeling tired.

also i struggle with anxiety and while i can get depressed, it's not my personal torment.

but both of my partner's are struggling with depression right now and one of the things to remember is hey, if you are depressed, struggling with depression or still in denial because depression is something that happens to 'other people, i'm just tired or lazy' (you're not and that's abuse, society and other people perceiving you)

you still deserve nice and good things. people are allowed to love you as you are. you deserve love as you are. no one is perfect and perfection is an unattainable lie anyways

chase improvement and betterment if you need a goal and be okay with small wins because every small teeny tiny improvement is still something better. be okay with failure because that's a part of life and doesn't make you a bad person.

don't feel bad about throwing tantrums.

the goal of a tantrum in this scenario: releasing emotions/words/thoughts/desires etc in an uncontained/uncontrolled manner but without hurting yourself or someone else, physically/verbally/emotionally.

throw stuffed animals at the wall or couch. punch a pillow. scream into a blanket and kick your feet. stomp on the ground angrily and mutter about how rude life is. try to outscream really loud music or compilations of goats. just... something.

if you compress everything up, you won't have anything. things will get turned off and apathy is dangerous.

i dont know where i was going with this. i'm just happy to have spoons to communicate with and happy prompts ily

<3 lumine

take care of yourselves, we can't take care of who and what we love if we're not also looking out for ourselves

[cringefailvox]

@downthegenderriver asked if i had any more radiobelle headcanons and the answer is yes <3

whenever alastor wants to wriggle out of a tough conversation or for charlie to stop talking about something, he'll drag her into an dizzying song and dance until she's too high on the fuzzy warm musical feelings to notice him disappearing

charlie was creeped out by his shadow for a long time, but eventually she realized it was just an echo of the snappish nervy animal in alastor's soul and now she treats it accordingly. one day she'll get it to chase a laser on the wall and alastor will stare sightlessly into the distance with total humiliation (he loves her)

they have a private two-person philosophy club where every week they trade off and one of them tries to lure the other to the dark side / redemption. they are always at a stalemate. charlie makes hand-drawn flashcards about prosocial behaviors and virtue ethics while alastor bitches and nitpicks the whole time over a plate of scones and then when it's his turn he just selects random historical atrocities to make charlie defend the goodness of humanity against

alastor gives charlie elocution lessons at her request and inevitably this always ends with charlie earnestly trying to do an impression of an transatlantic accent and making alastor cringe so hard he melts into the floor

charlie LOVES combing his ear tufts with a toothbrush and they look so so silly when they do this but alastor enjoys it. he will never admit it but he does

like i said in the notes of this post i don't think they have anything close to normal sex because what alastor (asexual; bottom) would want is so specific & violent that charlie can't do it without suffering intense guilt, and what charlie (allo; bottom) wants is too tender and romantic to not make alastor crawl out of his skin with revulsion. sometimes they compromise with the shadow tentacles, other times they compromise by alastor making charlie so mad she slaps him across a room, etc

alastor has really bad cuteness aggression and sometimes he'll just lightly clamp down on her hand or something while she's filling out paperwork and she's like ok. fine. and then she pays him back by surprise-ruffling his ears during his broadcasts and completely shattering his composure

charlie finds out pretty quickly that alastor genuinely sucks at close-range physical combat when she asks him to show her some moves (he's an expert at evasion and brute force tentacle stuff but not much else), and it actually turns into charlie showing him how to throw a punch because if lilith did one thing right it was teach her daughter the basics of self-defense

they are in a qpr <3

[issdisgrace]

LIST OF THINGS I THINK DIGGER HARKNESS LIKE TO INDULGE IN

WARNINGS: NSFW, hide your eyes minors, holy men don’t read

A/N: Was tired and horny when writing this. Also shout out to @rodolfoparras for putting these thoughts into my head. Also sorry if it’s a little repetitive.

Blood kink - Use your blood, his blood, or someone else’s blood as lube to stretch him open. Smear blood all over him and tell him how pretty he is.

Bondage - Ropes, handcuffs, zip ties, whatever just tie him up and fuck him dumb.

Breath play - Wrap your hand around his neck as you fuck him and only let go when he’s starting to lose consciousness, pinch his nose shut while he’s giving you a blowjob and make almost blackout before fucking his mouth.

Breeding kink - Breed him from dusk to dawn, fill him full of cum, plug him up afterwards, make him go on his day filled with your cum and painfully hard because he can’t get the fact he’s filled with your cum off his mind.

СВТ - Tie him up, step on him, slap him, Christ bite him and this man is cumming the second anything happens. He fucking loves the pain, he survives and thrives off of it.

Degradation - Call him a slut, call him a whore, call him any degrading name you can think of and he will fucking eat it up, getting harder and harder with each word.

Orgasm control - Deny him, overstimulate him, just whatever you do make sure he can only cum on your terms and conditions.

Feminization kink - Call him baby girl or your woman, make him wear women’s clothes, make him wear makeup, get him all pretty then fuck him till his makeup is ruined and his clothes are torn to shreds.

Gun kink - Hold your gun to his head while you fuck him or while he gives you a blowjob. Let a shot out into wall or even someone near you and he’s fucking cum everywhere.

Humiliation - Make fun of his cock, make fun of everything about him, and he will cum hands free.

Impact play - Slap him, spank him, punch him, kick him, and he will get absolutely rock fucking solid. He loves the pains.

Knife kink - Cut him, fuck him with your knife against his throat, carve your initials into him, make him lick his blood off your knife, smear his blood across with your knife.

Manhandling - Throw him around like a fucking rag doll. Pick him up and fuck him against the wall. Even better fuck him mid air.

Marking kink - Digger loves for everyone to know that he’s yours but also yours his. Hickeys, bites, scratches, etc, loves them all to death.

Piss kink - Piss in him, piss on him, he’s in fucking heaven. He’s drinking it up (literally). Make him feel like a fucking pig.

Praise - Tell him how good he is for you. Tell him that he is a good boy. Just praise the absolute shit out of him and make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Public/Semi Public - Diggers really horny for you all the time so he couldn’t care less on location. He loves the risk of being caught and actually being caught.

Scent kink - He obsessed with the way you smell. He wants his face buried in your pits or into your crotch at least 4 hours a day. Steals your clothes and gets off to your smell.

Size kink - This goes with the manhandling. Digger loves that you’re bigger and taller than him. Just you standing next to him got him hot under the collar.

Somnophilia - Man is a heavy sleeper so you can just use him and he wouldn’t even know and that’s so fucking hot to him. He loves when he wakes up and can feel your cum dripping out of him.

Spit kink - Please spit on him, spit in his mouth, spit on his hole, spit on his cock. He fucking loves it makes him feel dirty and hot.

[sandersontheside]

Happy October 1st! Have some fun Halloween themed HCs!

Haunted House/Maze:

Virgil loves haunted houses because it's scary in a controlled way and he ultimately knows he's safe. But he won't go alone. So, he drags Roman with him. Roman talks a big game about protecting Virgil, but ends up mostly clinging to Virgil the whole time and scraming his high pitched girl scream.

Janus, Remus, and Logan also appreciate a haunted house. Janus likes to roleplay with the actors. Remus has been kicked out at least once before for accidentally punching an actor on reflex.

Patton does NOT like haunted houses and will wait in line at the snack shack to buy everyone hot cider and donuts to enjoy when they're done.

Roman is a big fan of "getting lost" in the maze to make out (Virgil is also partial to this, though he definitely prefers the haunted house).

Logan appreciate the puzzle, which is good because Patton has no sense of direction and would be utterly lost without Logan.

Remus cuts right through the corn and jumps out at people. Janus is the only one he is never able to scare, no matter how hard he tries.

Pumpkin Patch/Pumpkin Carving:

Roman and Remus get really into pumpkin carving every year, the more intricate and over the top, the better. It's also sort of a competition with them. Virgil also gets into this, but he's less intense about it.

Patton collects the pumpkin seeds from aforementioned carving and roasts them! He's also the one who suggests sprinkling cinnamon in the carved pumpkins, so they smell like pumpkin pie when you light a candle in them.

Logan likes to design pumpkins, but hates the actual carving (the pumpkin guts are too gooey and it's a sensory nightmare) so he makes a template and then has Patton do it for him.

Janus doesn't carve a pumpkin (he doesn't want to take his gloves off), so he becomes the impartial judge of the impromptu pumpkin competition. Roman insists this is unfair, because he's "biased towards Remus" but he's vetoed.

Remus selects the ugliest, knobbiest, weirdest looking pumpkins to carve because "they'll be scarier that way" and "they have more character" while Roman selects the smoothest, most perfectly shaped pumpkins to carve because he likes a nice, clean canvas, and "it's just so SHAPED" and pleasing to the eye.

In addition to carving pumpkins, sometimes Patton will select a small, sweet pumpkin to roast and puree to make pumpkin pie. He insists that roasting the pumpkin yourself is vastly superior to the canned stuff (he's right).

Costumes:

Logan is big on obscure nerd costumes that no one else understands until he explains it. He's out here dressing up like famous scientists and stuff like that. Sometimes he lets Patton talk him into something more recognizable though.

Virgil always always makes his costumes himself. We're talking sewing, hot glue, making props, etc. He starts planning in the summer to make sure he has enough time. And he always goes for something scary.

Janus also plans early, but he's not afraid to buy things. Usually his costumes come from scouring thrift stores. No one can spot a treasure at the Goodwill like Janus.

Roman and Remus will pick costumes that either go together or completely clash, and there's no in between. One year, they'll be Peter Pan (Remus) and Captain Hook (Roman), the next year Roman is Superman/Clark Kent and Remus is in one of those inflatable dinosaur costumes.

Patton always has grandiose ideas for costumes, and then waits to the last minute and throws something together. Usually he goes for cute rather than scary.

Various Other Stuff:

Virgil will die before he admits this, but he fucking LOVES pumpkin spice. He claims he likes his coffee "black like my soul" but in secret he might love a PSL even more than Patton.

Roman and Remus take candy trades very, very seriously as kids. If either of them ends up with more of one thing it will result in all out war between them.

Patton and Virgil go absolutely balls-to-the-wall when it comes to decorations. Spirit Halloween exploded all over everything. Logan wisely doesn't ask how much it cost.

Janus answers "trick-or-treat" with "trick" every time and sets up friendly spooky Halloween pranks for his friends. Nothing too bad, and he usually has a treat for them afterwards, too.

Roman hosts Halloween movie marathons. The campier the better. Your Halloweentowns and your Hocus Pocuses and your Beetlejuices and your Scooby-Doos. Of course, Remus and Virgil slip some actually scary stuff in there, too. (Roman isn't too upset about it, as long as he can jump into Virgil's lap when he's scared)

[shegotheruby]

Previously Bitchless

***fully inspired by the new diesel photos of hoshi. Especially the one with his abs out. I’m gagged and in love***

a little story about the time you got a job at Hybe <3

WC: 12,028

TW: 18+ / MDNI / SMUT / ALCOHOL/ CONSENT IS SEXY / LOSS OF VIRGINITY /ETC.

---

Today is probably the scariest fucking day of your life… or maybe the most exciting day of your life… perhaps it’s the wildest day of your life? You can’t really decide right now. scanning into the Hybe building with your new employee ID, you take a look around in awe. You’re met with plenty of tall ceilings, intricate light fixtures, and glass everywhere. All of the meeting rooms are filled with long tables and glass walls. The cafeteria overlooks the city and you find yourself in awe of just how beautiful the practice rooms are. Sure, you’ve seen pictures and videos online from your fangirl years in America, but being here in person was so much different. So much more breathtaking and impressive.

You made it a point to show up early so you could find your bearings, but as it neared 10:00 am you slowly worked your way towards the SEVENTEEN practice room. You’re a prepared kind of person, arriving with your schedule in hand.

10:00 - meet other backup dancers 10:15 - warm up alone 10:30 - warm up as a group 10:45 - start learning choreography 11:45 - meet seventeen 12:00 - practice with members 1:00 - lunch 2:00 - learn routines from past comebacks 3:00- break 3:30 - practice new comeback 5:00 - dismissed

You look at the paper like it’s your lifeline. ‘you’re meant to be here’ you tell yourself. ‘you belong. you’ve earned this. you can do this.’ You chant this over and over in your head, shaking away the nerves.

You’re not nervous to dance, that’s your comfort space. The place where you find yourself forgetting everything else and giving into the melodies and the music.

You’re nervous about the other stuff. About not being as fluent in Korean as you’d like. About meeting the idols you’ve (secretly…god please don’t let anyone find out) been in love with since the first time you saw them on your screen. nervous that the returning dancers already made friends and you’ll be an outcast… all of it has your brain doing laps.

You’re broken out of your thoughts when the first team member walks in the door.

“you’re early!” he exclaims, setting down his bag and water bottle. “You must be another newbie?”

“that obvious, huh?” you question, holding your schedule in front of you.

he holds up a folder, “I’ve got copies in case anyone left theirs at home. I’m scared shitless!”

you let out a relieved laugh, grateful you’re not the only one feeling the pressure. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Zdae.”

“nice to meet you.”

Shortly after more of the team starts to pile into the room. As you suspected, there were a group of guys that already knew each other from a prior contract, goofing off closer towards the center of the room, while the rest of you kind of stuck to the wall. You’re decently extroverted once you get comfortable, but it usually takes a bit of time to find out where you fit into a new group.

You’d prefer to keep quiet at least a bit longer before being too outgoing. You find the people who are too loud off the bat can sometimes become a punching bag for gossip and if there’s one thing you hate, it’s giving people a reason to talk badly about you. Call it the people pleaser side. With that said, sometime into learning the new choreography, one of the choreographers, Hyelim asks who is capable of a backflip.

You raise your hand, assuming someone else will too, but you’re the only one. In a room full of professional dancers, it takes you with a bit of surprise, but you don’t let it show. You just put your foot into Zdae’s hand and let him throw you into a backflip. (it probably won’t even get used in the choreo anyways. You’re used to stunts and tricks like this being tested and dropped like nobody’s business.)

What you’re not used to is the “woah!” and the “sick!” that come from the doorway when you land. You look over to see Soonyoung and Dino walking into the room with Minghao right behind them. “You upgraded our team.” Minghao says to the choreographers, shooting you an impressed look.

To say you blushed bright red is an understatement.

The rest of practice was pretty organized. You didn’t really get to talk to any of the members (not that you expected to). From all of the behind the scenes videos you’ve watched throughout the years, it doesn’t really seem like the idols and the backup dancers have much of a personal relationship. You always assumed that was to avoid dating scandals and shit like that, but you were curious to see how it was when the cameras were off.

pretty much the same, you discovered.

That is, until the practice ended. The creative team dismissed everyone for lunch and before leaving the room Dokyeom and Seungkwan made their way over to your corner. They introduced themselves to the new members, and even asked you some basic questions about yourselves.

You were the last to leave the room, and the two members stopped you before you could leave.

“You’re Y/N.” DK asked, testing his memory.

“yeah” you replied, brushing a peice of your hair behind your ear.

“Is it rude to assume you’re american?” Seungkwan asked, probably analyzing your facial structure.

“Not rude. just true.” you shrugged with a smile. “I’m hoping my Korean gets better with time.”

“No I didn’t mean your Korean was bad!” he replies with a burst of anxious energy, “I just mean you seem a bit more normal to us? does that make sense?”

“Um… not really?” you questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“I think what he means to say, is you didn’t look away when we were trying to introduce ourselves. We don’t see that very often from people who grew up in the same country as us.” DK cuts in. “Our faces are plastered on everything from busses to billboards so it’s kind of hard to interact with people who treat us like normal people instead of walking marketing campaigns.”

“Oh..” you contemplate. “I didn’t realize it was like that for you guys.”

“The media doesn’t really show what it’s like for us to interact with anyone other than other celebrities.” Seungkwan purses his lips. “It’s kind of messed up but that’s just how the industry works I guess.”

“I guess the fans are only interested in seeing you guys interact with other people they like. You’re like characters of some twisted reality show.” you think aloud.

“catching on fast, backflip.” Soonyoung cuts in, walking over from where he was having a hushed conversation with Jihoon.

“backflip?”

“Well I don’t know your name so the only context I have is your stunting abilities.”

“you can call me pretty much anything except for that.” you laugh “but Y/N would be preferable.”

All three men give you a smile and it’s shocking how surprisingly comfortable you are, despite the fact that you ARE a fan of theirs.

“Y/N it is.” he nods, taking a step towards the door. “Want to eat lunch with us?”

“Am I allowed?” you raise both eyebrows and imagine you probably look like a deer in headlights.

“Not really.” He admits. “but if we eat lunch with all of the dancers…nobody will know we’re there to eat lunch with you!”

You quirk your head to the side.

“We’ve learned that you can’t get an idea out of his head once it’s in there.” Dokyeom shares, placing a soft hand on your back to urge you in the direction of the door. “best to just go with it.”

_____

Showing up to the cafeteria with three members at your side makes you instantly the most popular in your team. Everyone starts whispering and trying to talk to you. Soonyoung texted jihoon to come as well, so he showed up minutes later taking the seat across from Zdae. They hit it off quickly and built, what you assume to be, a friendship. All of the members seemed to click with him to be honest.

You spent most of the meal trying to breathe like a normal human despite the fact that Soonyoung was sitting right next to you, picking food off of your plate and cracking jokes. You learned that he has a sister and mostly visits her to play with her dog, latte. He told you that he loves kimchi, sure, but really his favorite food is simple ramen. (yours is too). He teaches you how to use chopsticks better since you kinda suck at using them…symptom of growing up with a fork.

He compliments your hair and your eyes and makes your stomach fill with butterflies. He’s easy to talk to and despite being famous, treats you like his equal. He’s a bit touchy, occasionally touching your arm as you talk or maybe bumping shoulders in a laugh. You definitely don’t hate it…

Dokyeom is pretty talkative with you as well. You learn that he actually does have a girlfriend - and the NDA you signed to get this job most certainly includes that information. They’ve been dating for three years and he really wants to propose, but the company doesn’t want him to until the no dating contract is up. Apparently the no dating contract is really a rule that they can’t date publicly. They’re pretty free to do what they want behind closed doors. (and away from cameras). You learn that some other members are in relationships as well, but it’s up to them if they want to share those details.

“are you in a relationship?” you ask soonyoung, a little surprised by your own directness.

“no” he replies calmly. “I never have been.”

“bitchless little guy” Seungkwan cuts in, stealing some food from his friend’s plate. “too romantic for his own good.”

“hey, what does romance have to do with being bitchless?” you ask, guarding your plate from thievery. “girls like romance!”

“he gets too in his head when he likes a girl.” Seungkwan explains. “starts planning out their whole future and scares her right away.”

You laugh and look over to see Soonyoung’s face turning a bright shade of red. “I’m not bitchless and i don’t scare girls away!” he pouts, crossing his arms.

“If i wanted to date someone I would! I just haven’t found the right person.” he defends.

“And you have lots of experience? you question, pointing a piece of chicken in Seungkwan’s direction.

“Well… sort of.” He blinks, and you bite your lip.

“how much experience do you have to make fun of him?” you point the now empty chopstick to your right.

“I’ve at least kissed a girl!” He says, arms up in the air. “That gives me a point!”

“Have you gone on a date? had a girlfriend?” you lean forward.

“well.. no.”

“boyfriend?”

“no..”

“flirtationship?”

“I don’t even know what that is.”

“so case closed. You’re both bitchless.” you conclude, and Dokyeom practically spits out his water in a fit of laughter.

Seungkwan sinks into his chair with a grumpy face and soonyoung wraps you into a hug. He’s practically vibrating as he points and laughs at his friend. “She’s right! You have no right to tease me because you’re equally as single! Y/N I LOVE YOU!”

You let out a chuckle and push him off of you before he has the chance to spill any food on your lap.

You look down to see your phone ringing with no contact, but you’d recognize the number anywhere. Your smile drops a bit.

“speaking of relationships…that one used to be mine.” you stare at the phone, trying to decide if you should pick it up or not. All three boys are staring at you expectantly, so you slide the screen and hold it up to your ear.

“what.” you answer coldly.

“Well that’s no way to answer the phone” the male voice on the other end scolds.

“teach me about manners when you’ve learned some of your own. What do you need.”

“I need my pink hoodie back.”

“You gave that to the girl i caught you cheating with. She was literally wearing it when I walked in on you.”

“No. Angela said she doesn’t have it either!”

“Seems like a you problem. Maybe the next girl ended up with it. Bye.” You hang up before he can say anything else.

Even Jihoon and Zdae are looking at you now, 5 jaws practically on the floor.

“badass.” Jihoon finally breaks the silence, taking a bite of his rice.

“cheater?” Zdae asks, making a ‘sorry’ face.

“don’t give me that face.” you furrow your eyebrows. “everyone gives me that face when they find out.”

“pretty sure that sucks worse than being bitchless.” Soonyoung cuts in, putting an arm around you. “We’ll make sure your next guy is properly vetted.”

you smile at him before the alarm on your cell goes off, signaling that it’s time to go back to practice.

“thanks.” you answer, before standing up.

____

The rest of the month flies by in a blur. Not much time to interact with the members since they’re preparing intensely for the upcoming comeback. Sure you’ve seen them during rehearsals a few times a week, and in passing around the building, but it’s mostly short interactions. You have filming for the music video in ten days, and everyone is excited. You’ve done professional work before in America, but this is the biggest project you’ve had the opportunity to work on. You’re buzzing with energy and can’t wait to see the finished product.

Today you’re doing costume fittings on a different floor of the building. They have a whole room full of fabric and sewing machines and computers for online shopping. The stylists are super nice and you’re in the middle of chatting with one of them during your fitting when Soonyoung walks in.

“Hoshi, you’re early!” she says, spinning you around to place some pins in your outfit. It’s skin tight and black, you’d like to say it accentuates your figure nicely. Based on the (not so subtle) up-and- down look he gives you, you must be right.

“I finished my adlib recording faster than scheduled so I figured I’d just come straight here.” he shares, sitting down in the swivel chair to your left.

“This outfit suits you, Y/N” he smiles, making you involuntarily blush.

“It’s because the stylists are so talented.” you deflect.

“that too, but really, you look nice.” he says.

You can’t help but wonder how he’s never had a girlfriend. He’s kind of flirty and really easy to get along with. He’s cute and friendly, and talented and rich and famous and hot and he’s got that waist… and he’s tall and strong and…

holy fuck. you have a crush…

you’re not sure how long you’ve zoned out so you shake your head and shoot back a quick “thank you.”

The stylist, Isa gives you a tap on the waist indicating that you’re done and can use the dressing room to change back into your own clothes. You step off of the little pedestal she had you on, with the help of Soonyoung’s hand for stability. HIs hand is soft, and lingers for just a second too long for your sanity.

You quickly rush to the dressing room and hear him laugh behind you, starting a conversation with Isa.

When you come back, you’re wearing jeans and a baby tee. You’re surprised to see hoshi has no shirt on and Isa is measuring his waist.

you can hear your heart beating loudly in your ears. He has the most delicious abs you’ve ever seen. a light sheen of sweat forming on his chest and glistening down towards a deep V into his pants. His skin has a light golden tan from recent time spent in the sun and you’re mesmerized. His hair is currently long and blonde with some tints of purple, and his eyes land right on yours…or rather…on your eyes that are staring directly at his topless chest. He notices right away where your focus is and can’t help but smirk. He’s kind enough not to say anything though.

You kind of just open and close your mouth like a fish out of water before he finally breaks the silence.

“Any plans tonight, Y/N?”

“Um no, not really.” you answer, finally looking upwards at his eyes.

“Some of the members are hanging out at Mingyu and Wonwoo’s house if you want to come. Dokyeom already invited Isa.”

You lean around him to look at Isa with realization in your eyes. “oh…..are you…..”

“yes. I’m his girlfriend.” she confirms, blushing at the thought of her relationship. “and the number one person who tells about it is Soonyoung.” she glares at him.

“I can’t help it!!!!” he cries. “I love love!”

“awww I can already tell you’re so cute together” you want to squeal but hope your voice came out more composed than that.

She grins back. “thank you! I really love him….” she stares into space. “you should totally come by the way!” she adds.

“I swear I’ll be wearing a shirt” Soonyoung promises.

“what a shame” you quip, regaining some sense of your character. “I really hoped you’d stay shirtless, mr. 6 pack.”

you turn to exit the room. “I’ll come though. See you later.”

With your back to him, you don’t see the massive grin on Soonyoung’s face.

___

You pass DK in the hallway just outside.

“Isa huh?” you greeted him. “She’s so cute” you give him two thumbs up.

“Isn’t she!?” he blushes. “You should be friends.”

“I would be friends with her.” you admit honestly, before adding joke “Then I can make sure all of my costumes are the best!”

“Why do you think I hit on her in the first place!!?”

you laugh and pat his arm. “anyways, I have some work to finish so I’ll see you tonight.”

“You’re coming?” His eyes light up.

“yeah, hope that’s okay.”

“more than!” he answers. “Glad soonyoung finally grew some balls.”

“How do you know he was the one who invited me?”

“bro code, duh.” he answers as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, before waving you goodbye.

You walk away, unable to hide your smile. ‘bro code’ can only mean one thing…He’s talked about you! (right?)

___

The important work you have to take care of includes a full body shower. The works. Shaving, lotion, a healthy amount of perfume. You live alone so you don’t really have anyone to bounce outfit ideas off of, leading to a pile of dresses on your bed. What does someone wear to a “hang out” at a celebrity’s house?

You finally cave and FaceTime Zdae, who picks up on the first ring.

“Zdae. I have an emergency.”

“What’s wrong? where are you?”

“It’s a fashion emergency.”

you see his shoulders visibly relax. “Good god you should have led with that.”

“Sorry!” You apologize, showing the pile of clothes on your bed. “I’ve been invited to some of the members’ “intimate hang out” and i don’t know what the fuck to wear!” you whine.

“oh honey..” he sighs, “I hate to break it to you but this is not an intimate hang out. This is a party.”

“Are you going?”

“to minwon’s house? everyone is going.”

you pout. “how long have you known about this.”

“since like two days ago?” he responds as more of a question than an answer. “why are you so freaked?”

“if I tell you please keep it between us.”

“deal.”

“First of all I just found out about this two hours ago.” you huff. “and I’m nervous because Soonyoung invited me and DK made a weird comment about him inviting me and I kinda think I like him and…”

Zdae cuts off your rant with a laugh. “Girl anyone within a ten mile radius can tell you’ve got the hots for each other. Just wear something sexy and fuck him already.”

You gasp, scandalized and hit your phone camera. “I will not ‘fuck him already’ he’s a virgin!”

“and?”

“I’m not going to treat him like a hookup! good lord!” you whine.

“Okay!!!” he chuckles. “Then wear like a sundress and flirt with him a little. Maybe give him a kiss or something.” He offers.

“Red or Blue?” you ask, holding up two of your favorite dresses.

“Red. Deeeefinitely red.”

____

You arrive to the party about an hour late, hopping out of your Uber in your black strap heels. You’re a little nervous all of the sudden, brushing the wrinkles out of your dress. It’s simple, plain red with inch wide straps and ending just above your knee. It’s not too tight, a little flowy and summery. You’d like to think it can pass as innocent or sexy depending on the person looking.

You walk up to the door but don’t get a chance to knock before it opens, A massively drunk Jeonghan in your path. “Heyyy! She came!” He slurs, getting pulled back by Seungcheol.”

“Yes, now stop trying to leave the house.” He declares, pulling him back towards the living room.

“Welcome to chaos.” Coups says before disappearing into the crowd.

You follow behind them, recognizing most of the dancers and staff members from around the building. There’s a few other idols here too from other groups, you recognize Yeonjun and Changbin hanging in a circle with Dino. As a fellow 1999 liner you’re tempted to introduce yourself, but fight against the urge in favor of finding Soonyoung…or Zdae…Or DK and Isa. Just someone you know, really.

You pass by Jihoon and Wonwoo having a conversation in the entry room (quieter for the introverts, you assume).

Joshua and Jun are loudly singing karaoke on top of the coffee table and the kitchen houses an intense game of beer pong, which is where you find Soonyoung and DK on one team, versing Isa and who you assume must be one of her friends.

“Hi guys!” you greet, walking up to the game. “Who’s winning?”

“Not us.” Soonyoung slurs, already a bit drunk. “We might need a celeb shot.” He says, holding the ball towards you.

“But you’re the celebrity” you joke, moving to grab the ping pong ball from him. “But you’re sober which means you’ll help us win!” he explains, wrapping an arm around your waist. “Thanks for coming by the way” he whispers into your ear, sending chills down your spine. You turn your face to look at him, very close up. He smells like a mixture of alcohol and cologne, and you immediately notice how pretty his eyes are. You’ve seen his strong, intense gaze in the practice room or on stage, but here he has a softer gaze, wide, boba eyes that you could get lost in for hours.

“I couldn’t say no to a shirtless superstar.” you look down at his outfit. “too bad you kept your promise and put clothes on.”

You don’t miss the breif flash of lust in his eyes before stepping back so you can aim your shot. You make it in the solo cup without a bounce and shoot for DK too, giving them two points and balls back. “Do it again!!!” he begs, arm wrapping around you once more.

“No way!” Isa shouts. “Drunk people versus drunk people!”

you laugh and agree with her. “No more from me. come find me when you’re done.” you leave with a wink, but not before grabbing a bottle of soju off of the counter.

Zdae is sitting in the family room, laughing at the Karaoke. He has a girl curled up into his side so you decide not to interrupt. Instead you find Seungkwan chatting with Vernon and approach them for a conversation.

“Y/N you made it!” Seungkwan cheers, giving you a hug. “I was worried you would’t show.”

“I was a little nervous..” you admit. “but I’m glad I came!”

“Don’t be nervous.” Vernon counsels. “99% of the people here are big drunk idiots who sing and dance for a living.” He holds up his beer in a ‘cheers’ motion.

you hold up your drink. “cheers to somehow turning theatre nerd into a career.”

“you were a theatre nerd too?” Seungkwan asks

“Oh no. I was the captain of my dance team in high school and college, but I have to make the rest of you feel good about yourselves.” you blink, resulting in a famous seungkwan side eye.

Vernon looks impressed and you launch into a conversation about growing up in the US, Joshua joining in once his karaoke performance ends. You compare notes with him about high school football games and Prom since he lived there longer than Vernon did. You’re in the middle of telling a story about the time your ex boyfriend passed out on a roller coaster at Disney World when Soonyoung sneaks up behind you. He wraps you in a back hug and snuggles his drunk little head right into your shoulder.

“We won. he giggles into you, and you shiver and the vibrations of his lips on your skin, it tickles, but in a good way.

“It was because of my help, wasn’t it?” You quip.

“It was because I wanted the game to be over.” he answers, hugging tighter. “I entered tiger mode.”

“why is that?” you smile.

“So i could find you, silly!”

you turn around in his grip so you’re hugging face to face. “You’re definitely drunk.” you note.

“yes, very much so.” he states. “so you should take care of me!” he grabs your cheeks. “You’re so cute!”

you smile at how childlike drunk soonyoung can be, so you bid the others goodbye and drag him towards the back of the house. You find a spare bedroom, based on the decor you assume it’s Mingyu’s. You lay him down on the bed and try to find a blanket before he pulls you on top of him. It startles you and you let out a little noise.

“Soonyoung!”

“Call me something else.”

“like what?”

“I don’t know. A nickname only you get.”

“I can call you Hoshi?”

“No!” he whines. “the whole world calls me that. I want you to call me something special.”

“Like Tiger?”

“yes!” he cheers, “but also no. something better.”

“How about Soonie?” you suggest, moving off of him and laying on your back next to him.

he turns onto his side, needing to be closer to you. “I like that one.”

“Okay” you whisper, turning on your side too so you’re laying face to face. “I’ll call you soonie. but only when we’re alone. If I say it around other people they’ll assume we’re dating.”

“What if I want them to think that?” he grabs your hand, thumb circling yours. it feels electric, and you want nothing more to kiss him.

“We don’t even know each other that closely.”

“Can we?” he asks, eyes pleading. “Can I take you on a date.”

You can feel the mood has shifted. He doesn’t seem whiny and drunk anymore… he just seems whiny and desperate for you to like him back - something you find endearing and sweet.

“If you really want to do that when you’re sober, then yes. I would love to go on a date with you.”

“And if the date goes well, will you go on more dates with me and be my girlfriend?”

you softly giggle. “yes.”

“and you’ll call me cute nicknames?”

“yes.”

“and when you’re my girlfriend you’ll kiss me?”

“I’ll kiss you right now. Have you ever kissed a girl, Soonie?”

“I’d like to.”

You lean forward and capture his lips in a soft kiss. It’s gentle and sweet, and you take note of how warm and plush his lips truly are. His arm drags up yours to rest in your hair, tickling that perfectly sensitive spot right under your ear. He tests the waters with his tongue, timidly at first, and then growing in confidence. you wrap your arm around him, pulling him closer into you, wanting nothing more than to stay like this forever. You probably would have too, if the door didn’t slam open.

You jerk upwards to find an equally charged couple making out in the doorway. You actually aren’t too surprised when you realize it’s Seungcheol and Jeonghan. You lean up on an elbow and Soonyoung twists onto his back again so he can lean up on both elbows.

“Seriously?” he groans. “You can’t learn to knock?”

“It’s not even your room.” Cheol shoots, taking note of you on the bed. His eyes grow wide when he realizes what they burst in on. “Oh my god!” he gasps. “Little hosh got his first kiss!” he giggles into Jeonghan’s cheek. “finally!”

Jeonghan just locks eyes with you, looking a bit nervous.

“NDA, i know.” you whisper to him, and he visibly relaxes, hugging cheol tighter. He smiles and joins in on Cheol’s teasing. “Little tiger and his little tigress.”

“absolutely not.” you sit up further “i will support the tiger agenda but I am not a ‘tigress’.”

“we’ll be talking about that one later.” Soonyoung objects, “She’ll come around to it.”

“I positively will not!” you pinch his arm and he winces.

“Anyways. Can you guys leave?” he pleads his Hyungs. “We’re kind of busy.”

“Actually…” you interrupt. “can we continue this when you’re sober, pretty please?”

you can see that this upsets him a bit, but you really don’t want him to share anything beyond his first kiss with you while he’s inebriated.

“Fine. But will you dance with me?”

you nod and crawl over him to stand up, pulling him up with you.

“Room’s yours” you pat Seungcheol’s shoulder. “but i’d recommend locking the door.”

You drag Soonyoung behind you with hands connected, and look back to see his smiley face almost looking dazed. He looks like a happy little puppy and you feel your cuteness aggression raging.

Arriving in the main room, you find Minghao running the aux. You request a danceable song and he agrees, switching to an upbeat track. The lights are dimmed and someone (probably Wonwoo) has connected those cool speakers that change colors with the beat of the music. The room is filled with bright flashes of reds and blues and you jump around wildly with Soonyoung - who quickly embodies Hoshi - for what feels like hours. You continue to sip on some drinks until you feel your own body giving into the alcohol, latching onto your crush like a lifeline into the real world.

You might remember bits and pieces of this part tomorrow, but you hope you remember it when he leans in and whispers “you’re so beautiful” into your ear.

______

You wake up the next morning in your own bed. How you got there, you have absolutely no idea. You sit up and whine at the instant headache forming in your forehead, but ignore it to grab your phone. It’s already noon, and you wrack your brain to figure out what your original plans were for today. Is there anything important you’re missing?

Before you can fully re-enter reality, you hear a knock at the bedroom door. Your body stills, assuming someone came home with you last night. You hope it was Soonyoung but there’s not much you remember after your kiss.

“come in” you call, straightening your hair.

You feel a bit relieved when Isa is the one who comes in - holding a cup of tea.

“hi party girl” she greets you, setting the cup on your side table. “If I didn’t already think you were meant for Soonyoung before, I definitely do now.”

“What does that mean?”

“it means neither of you can handle your alcohol” she jokes, handing you some painkillers. “How’s your hangover?”

“horrid” you groan, flopping back onto your pillow. “I definitely drank too much.”

she giggles “yes, but did you at least have fun?”

“yes” you blush. “I um… Soonyoung and I… we kissed i think?”

“It’s all he talked about all night.”

“really?”

“Oh yeah, he’s like WHIPPED whipped for you.”

you feel an entire zoo in your stomach. soonyoung likes you? Like LIKES you more than for a kiss at a party?

“tell me everything.” you practically beg. “I definitely only remember bits and pieces from last night.”

She launches into a pretty descriptive play by play of the evening. You learn that after leaving Mingyu’s bedroom, Soonyoung had his hands and eyes on you all night. Whether it was his hands around your waist or holding your hands with his. He danced with you and everyone saw him whispering things into your ear. You wish you could remember more of what he was saying.

You also learn that he kissed you some more, on the couch. Mingyu practically had to pull him off of you when the party was over so he could take Soonyoung to bed. Nobody knew your address at first so they thought you might have to stay at MinWon’s house. Eventually, after asking around a bit, Isa figured out that Zdae had your address so he gave it to Isa and she promised to get you home safe.

She stayed in your guest room - which apparently a drunk version of you offered to her. Dokyeom was on his way now with breakfast and a change of clothes for her. You thank her for being so caring and offer your shower, which she graciously accepts, after you wash up first.

She’s still washing up when DK arrives. You hear the knock at the door and open it for him, shocked to see that Soonyoung is with him.

“Hi guys.” you greet, stomach doing somersaults at how handsome Hoshi looks. He’s wearing a diesel outfit you recognize from a recent photoshoot. It’s a denim jacket that zips from both the top and the bottom. He has it slightly zipped up at the bottom, revealing a sneak peak of his abs. You look down at the shorts/hoodie set you’re wearing and remember that you have wet hair. You might have been embarrassed were it not for the beaming smile Soonyoung was giving you.

They come inside and Dokyeom sets the food on the table. He asks where your guest bathroom is and you direct him towards it, leaving you alone with Soonyoung.

“I had fun last night.” He starts, stepping towards you. “Sorry if I was too touchy.”

your heart flutters that he was nervous about that. You’ve always been a touchy person and don’t mind in the slightest.

“You were perfect.” you reply, giving him a hug and resting your ear against his chest. You hear his heart beating strongly and smile to yourself, now aware of the effect you have on him.

“please tell me that asking me on a date wasn’t just drunk you babbling.” you ask, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

“I am one-hundred percent sober and still asking you to go on a date with me.” he responds, squeezing you in the embrace.

“good.” you smile. “I’m soberly accepting your invitation.”

You feel his muscles relax - you didn’t realize they were tensed up - and giggle.

“When and Where?” you question, pulling back far enough to look him in the eyes.

“I was hoping my house, tomorrow?” he bites his lip. “We can’t really like…go out in public….but we can order some fancy takeout and build a fort and watch a movie?”

“i’d like that, Soonie.” You notice his immediate smile at your little nickname.

“me too.”

Dokyeom comes out of the bathroom loudly singing (shocker) and Isa must hear him through the wall because she starts singing the same song. You both laugh at how in sync they are and start opening food boxes, preparing to eat.

Once Isa gets out of the shower you all sit around the table together like a little double date. You laugh and joke for about an hour before Soonyoung puts his hand on your thigh. You warm up at the touch and the desire to spend some alone time with him hits you like a train. You put your hand on top of his and he smiles, the other two completely oblivious and in their own world.

You would kick the others out right this minute if you could, but you know that’s rude, and you’re looking forward to a proper date tomorrow. So you curb the instinct and continue enjoying the others’ company…but not without a little flirting. you place your hand on top of soonyoung’s and brush your feet together at random times through the meal. You can feel him tense up a little every time you touch, and you see blush enter his cheeks. He’s so cute!

Around 3:00 the boys have to leave for a schedule, so Isa heads out too, giving you time to yourself. You give them all hugs goodbye and kiss Soonyoung on the cheek before closing the door. You jump up and down to yourself the minute you’re alone. SOONYOUNG LIKES YOU!!!!!! AH!

You spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning up your home and planning what you’re going to wear tomorrow. You want to be cute, but you also want to be comfortable for movie night. You end up settling on a pair of grey sweatpants and an oversized shirt from a SEVENTEEN concert you went to like 5 years ago. You figure he might get a giggle out of seeing you in a shirt with his name on it.

You also run to the store and grab supplies to make homemade kimchi. He’s talked a lot about how much he loves his mom’s, and you decide that showing up with some of your own would be a sweet surprise that shows how you think about him even when he’s not around. (which you have been…a lot lately). You also grab some soju to bring, and get your hair touched up at the salon.

You might also get a mani pedi and take another everything shower…but that’s just usual self care. Nobody can blame a girl for wanting to look nice!

You’re definitely not nervous!

___

Okay. You might be a little nervous, standing outside Soonyoung’s front door. It’s been all over the news lately that he paid 5.1 billion won out of pocket for this apartment, and you’re curious to see how he lives inside of it. He answers the door with a smile and you can’t help but giggle at the fact that you’re matching. He’s wearing grey sweats and a black shirt, just like you. He smiles at the bowl of kimchi in your hands and quickly takes it from you before ushering you inside.

“I’m so glad you came” he smiles, pulling you into a hug once everything has been set down on the entry way table.

“Me too” you sigh, enjoying the soft smell of his laundry detergent mixed with his cologne. You could stay wrapped up in his arms all day.

He must realize how comfortable you are, because he rests his chin on top of your head and pulls you slightly closer as he says “want a house tour?”

“Yes!” you cheer, slipping out of the hug and smoothly holding his hand instead.

He squeezes it back, almost like he’s checking to see if you’re real. Or maybe because he just doesn’t want you to let go.

He leads you throughout the space and you gawk at how beautiful the tall ceilings and modern furniture are. You love how he’s set aside a space for Latte (his sister’s dog) for when she comes to visit, and can’t help but swoon over the way that he’s set up a tall stack of pretty much every sheet, pillow and blanket he owns so you can make “the ultimate fort.”

His bedroom is clean and organized, almost like a hotel. You smile at the picture of his family, which is in a frame on his bedside table, and notice the framed picture of seventeen on top of a mountain on his wall. He explains that they took the picture on a hike right before they debuted, a moment that means a lot for him.

“You all must mean a lot to each other.” you say, mostly stating a fact you already know with certainty.

“They’re my family.” he stands behind you, giving you a back hug as you both admire the picture. “and family is everything to me.”

You lean back into him and smile, briefly imagining what it would be like if this night goes well. If you end up dating and ending up together. Imagining a picture of the two of you together on that wall. But you reign it in because this is literally your first official date and you need to be realistic.

“I miss my family a lot.” you admit. “they’re back in America. and I know they support me and understand that being here is my dream, but it doesn’t make it easier to be away from them.”

“are you close?” he asks.

“very. I talk to my parents every chance I get, and my sister knows more about me than I think I know about myself!” you laugh.

“You should invite them to visit sometime!” he suggests. “Maybe they can come see you perform.”

“you mean see you perform.” you tease, turning around in his arms so you’re face to face.

“I might be there too.” He smirks. “But one thing I know, is that you shine when you’re dancing. You smile very genuinely, and everyone can see that you’re happy. If your family came to see you, I don’t think any amount of singing or talking from us could drag away their attention from you.”

“Who knew you could be so serious and sweet” you breathe, fighting back a rogue tear from his kind words.

He sees the tear anyway, and wipes it away with his thumb. “There’s a lot you still don’t know about me, Y/N.” He uses a shortened version of your name and the butterflies in your stomach go crazy while you follow him back to the living room.

“I want to know more about you” you admit, sitting next to him on the couch.

“Ask me anything.”

“hmmm” you think aloud, “I guess the biggest question I have is kind of a serious one.” you clasp your hands in front of you nervously. “Is that okay?”

“I can handle serious.” He promises.

“Out of everyone you’ve met and worked with over the past several years, why haven’t you dated anyone? And secondly why are you interested in me? You’ve probably met movie stars and models and idols and…”

He cuts you off with a short kiss, which startles you and leaves your eyes wide like a deer.

“None of those people know anything about me.” He starts, “at least not really.”

You tilt your body towards him and nod for him to continue.

“The day that we met, when we went to lunch?” He says this in a questioning tone, as if to see if you remember.

“yeah?”

“I knew I liked you that day.”

“why?”

“You’re just different than other women I’ve spent time around. You asked me random questions about my family dog and my favorite foods. Most of the time I get asked to spill secrets about our next comeback…or I get drilled on what fashion brand I’m wearing and how much money I think that yacht in the distance is worth. You were cute and funny and easy to joke around with. You stood up for me when Seungkwan was teasing me…but then teased both of us right after. It’s like we already had this playful dynamic without even properly knowing each other. It was just easy.”

You grab one of his hands and look into his eyes, you can tell he’s telling the truth. He licks his lips and bites the bottom one lightly, looking almost a little nervous. You look down at your lap, suddenly feeling a bit bashful yourself. Nobody has ever talked to you like this. So transparent about what’s going on in their head…so complimentary. What you don’t see when you’re looking down is the way that he can read your thoughts like a book. And he wants you to know exactly how wonderful he thinks you are, so he pushes onwards with his explanation.

“and I don’t mean easy like shallow. or easy like I wouldn’t fight to be close to you. I mean easy like….” he thinks for a moment, “Like we’d known each other for longer than a day. Easy like, I could see myself eating meals with you and joking around like that more often. Easy like….like I looked at you eating your Hybe Cafeteria Chicken and thought ‘she is the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen and I hope I get to kiss her one day’ and that thought didn’t scare me away like it has before. I was comfortable with it.”

You open your mouth to object about being beautiful, but he stops you before you can speak. He must have seen it in your facial expression, because he contradicts your contradiction immediately.

“And don’t you dare say you’re not the most beautiful woman on this earth because I think you are.” He rubs the lower part of your arm between your wrist and your elbow in a comforting way. “You’re right when you say that I’ve worked with other Idols or Models…but none of them have this pure joy radiating from them the way you do. You’re like a star that I’m drawn towards, as cheesy as it might sound.”

“and here I was thinking you just liked my backflip.” You joke, playing with his fingers again.

He chuckles lightly.

“If I’m being honest..” you explain, “I’ve liked you since before we met. It’s kind of embarrassing to admit now, but I’ve always been a fan of SEVENTEEN.” you gesture to your tour shirt. “and don’t worry, you were totally my bias from day one.” you pinch his cheek. “I’ve always liked your energy and your ability to lift the mood even when everyone is tired or sulky. You’re talented as hell, and I hope to dance like you one day.”

“Ahhh so it’s my star quality that draws you in.” He jokes, poking you in the side. You’re really ticklish there so you swat at his hand and squirm away before speaking again.

“At first, duh.” you giggle. “But I also realized I LIKE liked you as a person - and not just a celebrity - Friday morning when you invited me to the party. First of all I saw you shirtless and that had me…delusional.” your cheeks flush bright red at the confession. “and then when you invited me, I thought it was sweet of you. I thought about how you could be spending the night with anyone, but you wanted me to be with you. And then I showed up and you were interested in me, and you were cute and funny and so adorable.”

You didn’t realize how embarrassing this was until Soonyoung has to grab your chin to make you look up from your lap.

“…and That’s when I started reflecting on the day you invited me to lunch, and I realized that at this point, you had invited me to two different things of your own free will. You were treating me like a normal person and not just some backup dancer or replaceable part of your life. You were interested in me and you were funny. I like that you’re close to your family and I like that you treat your mom like a queen. I like that you’re rich and famous and could probably have any girl…or guy…that you could possibly want and yet you’ve remained single out of hopes to find something genuine and special and real.”

At this point you’re kind of just word vomiting, and he’s letting you.

“I agree that talking to you has always felt easy and comfortable, and I noticed even yesterday that you were thoughtful enough to join Dokyeom to my house to bring me food and make sure I was okay after drinking a lot. I like that you’re kind of touchy, because I am too, and I really, really like kissing you.”

“Oh, you do now?” he wiggles his eyebrows and shifts his body to place his feet firmly on the floor. In one shift movement he pulls you so that you’re straddling his lap, faces close as can be. “I wasn’t sure If I’d be good at it yet.”

“We could always practice?”

Without answering, he leans the last inch or two between you to connect your lips. Just like before, you relax into his body and appreciate how plush and soft his lips are. He must have recently sucked on a candy, because he tastes sugary and sweet. You hum softly into his mouth, sending vibrations through his entire body. Your hands explore each other, starting in each other’s hair and working around to necks, arms and hips. You eventually place both hands on his cheeks and angle his head upwards, deepening the kiss with the new angle. this time it’s his turn to make a noise, his hum a bit bigger…You suppose it could be classified as a full on moan.

You smile into him, and he does too, causing you to clash teeth a little, and you both giggle. It doesn’t last for too long before you’re back to learning what makes the other tick. You learn that he’s super sensitive when your hands graze his lower stomach. When your hands touch there, he leans into you a bit more and his abdominal muscles tense. He also tends to tighten his grip on you when you brush that skin.

He also learns that you love to be touched on your lower back, having a similar reaction when he goes there. You also love when he accidentally grinds into you a bit. In his defense, he did not have plans to move past kissing today, but his body spoke for itself…and so did yours. You might accidentally grind along his lap too, earning another gasp from his mouth. You almost forgot that he’s never been touched in this way, and want to take things slow for his sake.

“soonie” you whine into his ear, and he loves that you’re using his nickname. “I want to take this at your pace. Especially since it’s your first time.”

“baby” he groans, throwing his head back into the couch cushions. “I didn’t think I was ready for more but….would you want to…can we…I…I know it’s only our first date but…”

You could faint at how adorable his nervous stuttering is.

“If you’re saying you’re open to more…” you let your words draw out a little. “I’m completely and fully giving you consent to go as far as you want.” you answer confidently.

“fuck” he almost whispers to himself, but you hear it loud and clear, sending a wet patch straight to your core. “I want to go further.” He admits, grinding against you again, a little harder.

You grip onto his shoulders like a lifeline, the sensation sending a chill through your spine.

“then take my shirt off and show me how those dancer hips can move.”

He moves slowly at first, a little timid, but you can see a burning desire in his eyes. Lust like you’ve never seen in a previous partner.

He starts at the bottom of your shirt and slides it up, taking his time to rub that sensitive spot on your lower back again. You arch into him and raise your hands above your head, making it easier for him to remove the shirt.

His eyes go wider than someone with his cute little mono lids are usually able to when he realizes that you’ve put on some black, lacy lingerie.

“it’s a matching set… just in case…” you mention, voice a bit gravely now from how turned on you feel.

You physically feel his dick twitch underneath you, and you grind against him again.

“shit” he sighs, “you’re beautiful”

“I like it when you say that” you admit, leaning in for another kiss, pulling at his shirt in the process. He helps you lift it off and now It’s your turn to look at his body, leaving you completely awe struck (again). You’ve seen him shirtless before, but this time you have permission to actually look.

“oh my god” you sigh, leaning back in his lap a bit so you can get the whole view. “You’re built like a fucking god, babe.” you lean back into your neutral position so you can touch him, bringing your hands right to that sensitive spot on his abs and moving upwards, enjoying every line and dip in his honey skin. His core is hard as a rock, yet the skin is soft and smooth. When you get to his chest, you pinch his nipples lightly in passing and he reacts.

“oh” his eyes, previously closing in pleasure open wider. “that feels good.”

“I know” you lean in, lightly kissing his neck, “I want to teach you everything that feels good.”

“okay” he breaths, airy and sweet.

“Can I take your pants off?” You ask, moving to the floor so you can get on your knees in front of him.

“wait” he’s pulled out of his haze for a moment. “can I…can I actually take yours off instead?”

“If that makes you most comfortable, then yes.” you stand, pulling at your sweats.”

he helps you pull them down and from your standing position, your lacy bottoms are right in front of his face, practically having him salivating.

“It’s not that I don’t want my pants off” he shares “I just want to please you first.”

You’ve never had a partner give you head willingly, and never first. Everyone you’ve been with in the past has practically begged you to suck them off, and eating you out seemed like a chore they did afterwards out of obligation. Your surprise must register on your face, because he speaks up again, “why does that seem to shock you?”

“I’ve never had someone want to start with me before.” you admit, shyly.

“well then” he stands up, grabbing your hand, “it’s a good thing we met.” he smiles and you melt at how hot he looks with his messed up hair as he leads you towards his bedroom, clothes abandoned.

He gently pushes you back onto the bed and puts one of his knees up on the mattress, hovering over you. You peek down at his grey sweats (the last legitimate clothing item of either of you still on), and see a bulge growing underneath. Your stomach does a flip but you don’t have much time to focus on that because He leans in, kissing right underneath your ear before starting a trail downwards, slowly. Once he reaches your collarbone area, his hands find your clothed cunt and start rubbing slow, lazy circles.

You suck in a sharp breath, arching into him at the touch.

He takes this as a sign to keep going, and moves his fingers so they’re inside your panties. his eyes practically roll into the back of his head when he feels how wet you are already.

He circles and rubs with his middle and ring finger for a while, testing how you react to each movement. Every time he uses the perfect speed or perfect amount of pressure he notices your mouth open up a bit wider, involuntarily. Your neck loses it’s ability to hold your head up and you throw it back into the pillow he placed underneath you. He finally inserts his middle finger, earning a gasp and a “please” breathed towards the ceiling.

“please” he kisses your breast through the black lace. “please what, baby?”

“more” you whine, “keep going but use another finger.”

He inserts another finger and curls them right into the spongy patch that will surely be your undoing.

“yes” you pant “right there, yes”

He continues kissing your collarbone and chest, anything he can get his mouth on around the lingerie, and you grab onto his hair with one hand, and his shoulder with the other, treating him like a lifeline to this plane of existence.

“you’re sure…” you gasp “you’ve” a moan “never done” a breath “this before?” you can’t even speak, he’s started circling your clit with his other hand and white is invading your vision.

You close your eyes and let the pleasure overtake you, you feel so pent up and hot and tense but also so incredibly free and relaxed at the same moment.

“so close, so close, soonie, fuck” you mumble. You think he’s saying something, but you can’t hear it past the ringing in your ears. Can’t feel anything except for the pressure building in your stomach, past the shaky legs and warm sensation of his lips sucking hickeys into your skin. Can’t think about anything other than how he’s making you feel so, so good.

“I’m gonna come” you moan, right before the tension snaps like a rope and slips out of you like honey, covering his fingers in white creamy cum. He brings his hands up to his mouth and sucks the liquid off of them, humming as he does so.

You register his movements and smile at how experienced he looks. He looks so sexy, leaning over you with his fingers in his mouth, dazed look appreciating your own fucked out face. You don’t know what to say. You’ve literally never had this kind of reaction to fingering - let alone from someone who is doing it for their first time.

“Was that okay?” he whispers into your ear, laying his body half on top of you and half on the bed next to you, hands resting one on your hip and the other brushing the hair behind your ear.

“Oh soonie, that was the best I’ve ever had” you grab his chin with your free hand not currently under the weight of his body. You tilt his head so you can kiss him on the cheek, and then again on the mouth. You pull away in between pecks to add “I don’t think you need any practice.”

“really?” he perks up, looking a little bit like a puppy. “You mean it?”

You giggle at how excited he became, leaning up on your elbows so you can smoothly flip over, your body now leaning over his.

“Really. But if you wanted to practice on me, you can …any fucking time.”

Mind (mostly) back into your own body now, you sit yourself up, perfectly straddling his lap. You lightly grind on his clothed dick and watch his face scrunch up at the feeling. You grind once more before standing up to pull his pants off. He lifts his hips to help you, as you pull his boxers off in one go.

He’s huge.

Like. Really long.

You stare at it in awe for, a few seconds before he makes a “um” noise and you look up at his red face.

“is it uh…too big?” he looks so shy and it’s cute. You drop to your knees and lean forward to grab it with one hand, other resting on his knee.

“no” you wink “It’s gonna feel fantastic.”

You pump your hand a bit before he wraps his own over yours, stopping you from moving.

“Can we…do more?” He stutters.

“Is this not more?” you arch your eyebrows.

“I mean…I don’t think I’ll last very long…” He tucks his lips into his mouth, a nervous habit.

“ohhhh soonie..” you flirt, licking a long strip up the underside of his cock. “are you asking to fuck me?”

“don’t tease mee.” he whines, shuttering at the feeling of your tongue. You take him into your mouth, briefly sucking before pulling away with a loud pop.

“do you have condoms?”

“Yes” He leans over to his side table, pulling one out of the drawer.

“Oh, so you were planning this then, huh?” you tease, standing to grab it out of his hand.

He’s blushing wildly as he admits “I was hopeful.”

You giggle as you rip open the packaging and roll it onto his length easily, especially given how hard he already is from a few touches.

You straighten up to pull your underwear all the way off, including the bra before you lean over him again, grinding against his thigh this time. His hands instinctively grab your breasts, and you smile at the attraction to them.

“Are you positive you’re ready?” You confirm, placing a hand on his cheek. “I want you to be one-hundred percent sure.”

“I was ready the second I kissed you the first time.”

“You were drunk then” you point out

“Drunk and horny” he laughs, earning a little scoff and eye roll from you. (even though you love his dirty humor).

His hands trail down from your boobs to your waist so he can flip you again, his body so large and muscular over your petite one. He helps you lay further back on the bed, actually laying on the pillows stacked against his headboard.

“this is the part you might have to walk me through.” He admits. “I’ve done some…research…but I don’t want to hurt you.”

“research?” you question, grabbing his hand and bringing it towards your cunt. “two fingers” you instruct and he follows, tucking in all but his first two digits.

“It’s embarrassing, don’t ask”

“Oh i’m asking” you smile, motioning for him to stick his fingers inside. He does as he’s instructed and you sigh at the warmth. “now scissor them like this”, you motion with your own hand.

“I might have.. asked around. Watched some porn.” He looks away, pretending to be focused on what his hands are doing, stretching you out but also curling into you every few seconds, like he’s learned has you coming undone.

“did you see some things you want to try?” you ask through a sigh, honestly hoping his first experience is less scary than your own was.

“Maybe..”

He must get the hint that he’s supposed to be stretching you out because he adds a third finger, surprising you and earning a moan.

“shit” you grunt, “quick learner.”

He grins as he scissors all three fingers apart.

“try them. try them all i’m ready just please give me your cock” you beg, feeling that needy feeling build up again.

“So needy” he teases, pulling his hands out and wiping them on his thigh.

“You say that now” you grab for his dick, helping him line it up with your hole. “Just you wait, babe.”

He starts pushing in, slowly, and you wrap your legs around him, pulling him towards you faster.

“I’m so, so hot, soonie.” you explain, “go faster.”

“fuck” he groans, body shaking at what it feels like to be fully inserted inside of you. He pulls back, dragging it out slowly before pushing all the way in again with a hard thrust. “damn it.” he realizes, “this isn’t going to last very long at all” he chokes out.

“told you” you tease, grabbing a hand in his and resting it, palm up next to your head. He links your fingers together and pushes down, holding your hand tightly while pinning you into the mattress. Your other hand holds tightly on his shoulder as you whine through his quickening pace.

He’s in heaven. Soonyoung could live like this forever, seeing your little body underneath him, tits bouncing in time with his thrusts, face contorting in pleasure. Your beautiful, beautiful face that he’s been dreaming about all week long. Your heavenly voice, making sounds that he’s convinced are just for him. He loves how verbal you are, never able to shut your mouth between the “shit” and “fuck” and “yes” that keep spilling out like a broken record player of nonsense.

…not that he’s faring much better - especially when your pussy is so tightly clenching every time he’s moving backwards- almost like your body is holding onto his, begging him not to leave.

“need to slow down” he grunts, “or else I’m gonna cum.”

“no, no go faster” you whine, clawing at his back

“I thought you said I could try some things.” he flirts, pulling all the way out for a moment.

you suck in a deep breath of frustration at the loss and lean up on your elbows. He smiles at how cute you look, eyebrows furrowed, lips puckered and face flushed.

“if it involves your cock back inside me right now you can do anything and everything to me.”

“not yet” he scolds “I need to cool down and I want to try this.” he grabs your thighs and pushes them apart with quite a bit of force before spitting.

SPITTING.

KWON SOONYOUNG SPIT ON YOUR FUCKING PUSSY and your head immediately went swimming into another dimension because you’ve never been so turned on or so needy for a man in your entire life. You’re not even sure what the timeline looks like from then on. In some form of seconds or moments his head ends up right where he thinks it belongs, tongue licking in between your folds and sucking on your clit.

You thrust your hips up into his face, practically riding his nose, giving him some room to place his hands underneath you, grabbing at your ass. Your hands are pushing his head into you, all sense of respect or kindness for his ability to breathe out the window.

You’re sure your clit might end up bruised from how hard you’re pressing into him, but you could not care any less as you rub and grind and push into his juicy lips. he brings one hand away from your ass to push two fingers in again, curling in time with the sucking until you’re absolutely positively gone. You continue to babble versions of his name “soonie” and “soonyoung” and even “hoshi” blurring past your lips at the speed of light, mixed in with some “close” and “please.”

He’s a fucking munch, continuing on until you’re coming into his mouth, but not even stopping then. He rides you throughout your orgasm and even into the territory of overstimulation.

“too much baby” you whine, wiggling away from him, but he doesn’t budge.

He’s enjoying every second of his time in between your legs, and he’s 99% sure that he read somewhere you can make a girl cum twice in a row if you get them through that moment of sensitivity. “soonie i’m so sensitive” you whine, but he doesn’t let up, in fact quickening his pace, curling into your spongy walls and sliding his other hand up the arch of your back, rubbing around to the front and toying with your nipple.

He feels the switch happen, when your body relaxes into his for a moment before tensing up again, this time in the direction of his body instead of pulling away. He chooses this moment to pull himself away, kneeling above you and grabbing both legs. He throws them over his shoulders and pounds into you again, shoving his dick fully inside within seconds.

You gasp at the sudden fullness, and choke out a sob. “so full, god”

You rest a hand on your stomach, feeling his bulge pushing upwards and groaning at how deep inside of you he is.

“fuck baby, please tell me you’re close, please.” Soonyoung whines, movements completely irregular and sharp. His balls are big and full and his entire back is full of electrifying shocks. He knows he’s about to burst and really hopes he’s not one of those virgins who cums without his girl.

Actually…he wishes he was one of those guys who could keep his thoughts to himself because he definitely just shared THAT thought out loud.

“Your girl, huh? You focus on, arms above your head to rest on the shaking headboard.

“fuck” he groans, getting closer and closer. “Yeah. My girl. My girl who I want to have a life changing orgasm like right this fucking second.” he begs.

He can’t rub your clit because he’s holding your legs on his shoulders, so you move your own hand downwards, rubbing quick, tight back and forth lines at the perfect moment. You clench through the burst of pleasure right as he finishes with a yell. You might have yelled too but it also could have been silent or all in your head. For the third time this evening, you have absolutely no clue what is going on because you’re basically floating in a universe of stars, no earth or consciousness to be seen.

You’re only brought back to reality when Soonyoung puts your legs back down and pulls out of you. he ties off the condom and throws it into his bedside trash before slumping right on top of you, limbs weak and heavy like a weighted blanket.

You feel comfort. You love his weight on top of you. It’s blissful and natural.

In the afterglow you realize that he is everything you’ve been waiting for, everything you’ve never had both in a romantic partner and in a sexual partner. He’s very communicative and he’s hot. He’s sweet and family centric, while funny. He’s a lightweight, but so are you, so you can have a party of two any time you want. He’s loud, but so are you. He’s a giver, prioritizing your own pleasure over his, even during his first time. His dancer hips certainly know what they’re doing…

you’re brought out of your thoughts when he speaks up. “Thank you.” It’s soft, and he gives you a kiss on top of your head.

“I came three times, I should be thanking you!” you giggle, wrapping him up into a hug.

“No I mean thank you for giving me a really good first experience with intimacy.” he pulls back far enough to look you into the eyes. “and I don’t want to scare you off but I really do like you.”

“I like you too.” you peck his lips. “a lot.”

You both stare into each others eyes for a while, blushing like idiots until you finally start to feel sticky and gross.

“can we shower?”

“please” he says, helping you stand up on wobbly legs. He starts warming up the water in the en suite bathroom while you strip the sheets, and you meet him just in time for the water to reach a steamy temperature. You wash each other off, rubbing suds up and down your shoulders and backs, stealing little kisses here and there. You’re too tired for another round but you promise him some more “practice” in the morning which he grins ear to ear hearing.

After drying off, you decide that there’s still time to build your fort. You’re not energetic enough for a big fancy one, but you do shuffle back into his living room (now wearing a T-Shirt of his and your sweats - sans the ruined undies). to put some mats down on the floor. You prop up some bar stools across from the couch and drape some extra sheets over it to create a cozy little space. you fill it with every pillow in his home, and like ten blankets, ruling it perfectly cozy for a little sleepover.

He grabs the soju you brought and you sip together while watching a movie on his laptop, cuddling and stealing kisses between scenes. It feels domestic and cute, and you hope that you get to do this many more times.

He definitely feels the same.

——————————————————— <3

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Great teen talk overall, but honestly I was particularly interested in what Matt had to say about where Lincoln is at right now (and that we might get a better glimpse into this next episode? Which has me both nervous and excited but I'm trying not to think about it *too* much cause I'm already super nervous about how things are gonna pan out for the twins next episode).

It all tracks- Lincoln's increasingly nihilistic view of the world impeding on his ability to feel much of anything but nevertheless caring about how *his friends* are feeling and what they want. Being too deep in a dissociative state to process his own grief (and everything else) but caring that *Normal* is sad and doing what he can to help him.

I think Lincoln is a funny and incredibly fascinating character because if you look at his words, honestly no one can deliver a blow like Lincoln- a trademark of his brutal honesty, and in most stark contrast to Normal's "toxic positivity", neither being inherently better or worse than the other just inverted, and reflective of different values (something something cheerkicks is doomed by the narrative they should kiss etc. etc. not what the post is about). Conversely, if you look at Lincoln's actions (and Lincoln is, at his heart, an action-oriented character), truly nobody is putting their ass on the line for the people around them quite like Linc is. I've stated on several occasions that I believe Lincoln is the most selfless of the teens, and I stand by this, but this is a virtue as much as it as a flaw. It's heroic, to put yourself in a line of fire to save your friend's dad, or impale your leg on a candy cane twice to get an anchor, or hug your friend to show them you care even if it literally winds up killing you- but it also reflects self-preservation instincts that somehow manage to be even weaker than those of the guy who tried to throw himself out of a building thinking that a parachute would save him (god I love Taylor).

Lincoln cares immensely about his friends (despite his growing numbness to the world around him), but dangerously little about himself and what becomes of his own life. As a less dire example, "Apollo Four Teens" acts as a great demonstration of how Lincoln will stretch himself thin for everyone around him until there's nothing left, but forgets in the process to stop and register his own emotions and tend to his own needs. Combine this with Lincoln's perpetual "keep calm and roll with the punches" attitude towards the nonstop bullshit the teens have gone through over the course of the season, including an extensive list of unresolved issues related to Grant (which by now I've outlined fairly thoroughly), and you have a serious recipe for disaster. Characters like Normal and Scary are, relatively speaking, pretty obvious and emotive with respect to their pain, even when they are trying not to be. This is good, since it makes it easier for other characters to recognize that they need help in the first place and try to look out for them (they may not always know how to do so correctly, but the intent is there). Lincoln, in contrast, shuts down and becomes less emotive in response to his own pain (in a manner that is somewhat similar to Darryl, more similar to Glenn, and of course most similar to Grant, but ultimately different from all of them), silently building his walls up higher and higher but being no safer for it. It is partially for this reason that other characters very rarely think to check in on Linc and see how he's doing (Taylor to his credit tried after the titanic episode, but that got interrupted, and Grant does also try but- much like his own dad with him- fails to meet his son halfway in being honest and vulnerable and hence fails to make any progress), leaving him to mostly suffer in silence perhaps without even truly realizing it himself.

I guess the gist of what I'm saying is, Lincoln is in deep water, all of this has been a long time coming, and if nobody does anything about it soon... (Metaphorically-speaking of course-) that boy is going to drown.