#threw up my anti anxiety

[veganmikehanlon]

wow i really tried to confide in a friend and she really did not respond to me

[vilnmelling]

NPMD Digital Ticket details!

Since not every can/can afford to/wants to buy the Digital Ticket for Nerdy Prudes Must Die (and the bonus material that comes with the purchase), for your inclusion purposes, here's a list of fun background details, funny moments and comments made in the track commentary, for you to use however you like!

Ruth doesn't actually need to wear her headgear anymore, but she wears it anyway because it makes her feel safe.

Jeff pitched a Nightmare Time episode about the problematic puppy from Steph's verse of High School Is Killing Me, meaning there is a story there.

In the line, "I learned that at the anti bullying assembly last month, fucknugget!" there's a long pause before "Fucknugget!" which really makes it sound like Max forgot to insult Richie and just threw the word out.

All of the little noises Ruth makes, she makes because she has more she wants to say, but she can't say them (presumably due to anxiety).

In the proshot, you can't see fully how low Richie goes while he and Ruth sneak up on Peter, but Jon is fully crouched down. He then uses Pete's pockets and elbows to climb up like he's climbing a mountain (he mimes using a pick or axe to get good hold).

While Steph is talking, Ruth and Richie try their best to hear through the phone by getting as close as they can to it.

The reason Max and Jason were in the Pasqualli's parking lot is that they were practicing their skateboarding. They do that at Pasqualli's instead of at school/at a skatepark because they don't want the smoke club and skater kids to make them look like noobs. (This was a cut bit from the Pasqualli's scene).

The line, "Some big... dumb... sexy... football star" is expanded. In the Digital Ticket, Grace says, "Some big... dumb... sexy... sweaty... hot... well-spoken... beautifully tall football star."

When they're in the boys bathroom, Steph jumps to see over the stalls.

Richie Naruto runs when they're going to Waylon Hall. Pete slaps his hands down, but after they pause to look at the house, Richie looks over his shoulders at Pete a couple of times before darting away from him, once again Naruto running.

Richie stops in the door at the Waylon Place, so Pete pushes him inside.

Ruth and Richie speak at the same time when they say, "I'm allergic to deodorant" and "I have overactive sweat glands."

Ruth goes straight to Richie to complain after the "pus in my pits" exchange with Steph.

When Steph suggests saying there's a party at the Waylon Place, Pete, Ruth and Richie all react negatively (mostly nervously groaning).

While Grace sings the "He's just a nerd in disguise!" line, Richie can be seen practicing the first move of the Bully the Bully dance.

After Ruth says, "We're gonna cut off his nips!" you can see Steph look confused and ask, "What?"

While Pete and Richie talk in the Waylon Place ("Am I reading as ghost or Lin Manuel Miranda" & "She came all the way out here just for you."), Ruth and Steph discuss and practice Ruth's skeleton moves.

Richie gets stuck in the dangling parts of Pete's costume when he says, "You could just hit it and quit it, bro!" He then aggressively detangles himself.

The line "He's just really fucking brave!" comes from Richie being jealous that he's not that brave.

Richie hypes Ruth up a bit after Max says her skeleton bit was really special.

Grace hides behind Ruth while Max is dying.

Richie rolls his eyes when Grace says "It was an act of god!" (Similarly, Shapiro sighs and looks away in disbelief when Grace later says "It was god's plan!")

Pete gags when Grace says "Hack all his limbs off." Richie can also be seen gagging and holding his stomach several times.

Ruth hands Max's nipples over to Grace after cutting them off.

Jeff Blim is the principal of Hatchetfield High. Not a character of Jeff's, just Jeff himself.

Brenda still seems quite judgmental after the two weeks have passed. She makes a lot of not-quite-friendly faces when the football team's talking about Richie smelling bad.

When Richie struggles to remove the Zeke the Fightin' Nighthawk costume, he accidentally removes his jacket as well, leading to Jon having to put it back on (which he also struggles with) (and which creates a funny situation, since Richie was supposed to go shower).

Richie seems to have hurt his leg by the second fall in Nerdy Prudes Must Die (the song).

After Steph tells Grace to "Leave Ruth alone!" in the principal's office, Ruth tries to grab Steph's hand.

The wig Joey wears when he plays Dan Reynolds isn't Dan's real hair. Dan Reynolds wears a toupée.

Trevor and Angela's drama student encourage each other after they finish rehearsing.

Additional line when Grace is lying to Shapiro: "Suddenly, I remembered a crucial detail that made everything make sense. A picture came flashing into my mind, like I was Enola Holmes!"

"My dad sells women shoe! Shoes!"

Angela misses the chair at Beanie's and falls on her ass, leading to her, Joey and Mariah (mostly Mariah) breaking character.

During The Summoning, Tinky focuses ONLY on Pete. The entire time, he looks like he's restricting himself from lunging out and attacking him. At one point, he points at the Bastard's Box while staring at Pete.

90% of the time during The Summoning, Pokey's staring at his own mask.

Steph facepalms after Max says "That's nasty! ... I like it!"

[jinnie-ret]

anti-hero

poly bang chan x hero!lee felix x villain!reader | superhero au

genre: superhero au, fluff, angst

content warnings: implied past bullying, implied anxiety, it's fluffy as well though I promise

word count: 3.6k

summary: their paths were destined to meet one way or another. it just so happens it all goes down in a way chan least expected.

header by @writingforstraykids thanks for making this my love!!

for @miuracha I hope you enjoy my lovely :)

this was part of the make miu smile event which you can find here

MAIN MASTERLIST

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The villain of the city, it was fun for you until it wasn't. You yearned to wreak havoc upon those who always judged you, made you feel like a monster, to those who managed to pierce your heart with their disgusting words that had been thrown at you with such ease. That, was your origin story. Maybe in another life you'd be living in a small cottage outside the busy day to day life of a place which was filled with cars, buildings, noise, and more cars. You wouldn't have to fret over public appearances, despite your masked form, the 'Shadow' that haunted Seoul. You wouldn't have to pretend anymore to fight against your lover, the hero who had made everyone feel safe again, feel safe just because you purely existed.

Lee Felix. A ball of sunshine. No, literally, he could blind any foes with his bright, burning orbs, torching their skin, destroying their vision, with indefinite permanence. The 'Blaze' that could never be outshined by anybody.

Oddly enough, such darkness and lightness coexisting meant that the two of you were bound to meet, bound to fight, bound to be fated together.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

News reporters from several different channels were immediately sent out in their vans once they caught word of another fight between Shadow and Blaze happening in the center of the city. And soon enough they were met with quite a rewarding sight for their careers.

Shadow was sprinting as fast as possible, slipping into dark alleyways and cursing Blaze in her mind when he managed to invade her spots and shine light from his scarred hands in order to 'catch' her.

Not long ago, she had trapped some men in a bubble of darkness before she sweeped the streets and did the same to a woman around her age. Of course, citizens of Seoul were terrified, hoping not to face that same choking, suffering and horrifying feeling of being unable to move and left to hear all of their own thoughts. Her darkness was one that nobody would want to experience.

Enter Blaze, here to save the day. Per usual, he threw on his big smile and reassured scared crowds of people that they were safe when he was there, a slight sadness in his voice that went undetected.

There to capture the chase across the city, were helicopters filming from above, the whirring of the vehicles making Shadow smirk from beneath her black veil. What an amazing show they were creating. She skidded round the corner, her shoes leaving tracks of obsidian. Small pieces of tarmac flew up, scraping the backs of her legs. Blaze was only a few feet behind her. He was running at the speed of light, perks of the job. Keeping up the act, Blaze had freed the trembling victims of Shadow's wrath, and directed emergency services towards them. They'd be fine, in all due course.

Shadow panted as she came to a hault, finding herself in a dead end of the road, construction equipment and barriers up, stopping her in her path.

"End this now, Shadow," Blaze righteously spoke, projecting his voice so that everyone could hear him.

"End what? It's such a lovely day, is it not, my dear ray of sunshine?" Shadow cackled, dark storm clouds threatening to cloak the city in its grey, velvety blanket of gloom.

"You've caused enough chaos around here!" Blaze boomed in his deep voice, cutting through the clouds and letting spires from the sun creep through and soothe the dull of the city.

"Not quite," Shadow smirked, before moving her hands round in circular motions.

She summoned decaying vines, uprooting the concrete nature of man made civilisation, and introducing it to the lives that inhabited it. There were screams of terror as people got wrapped tightly, like they were being swallowed up by the grip of a cobra's coil. Fallen. Shaking.

"Not this again, she said she wouldn't do this anymore," Blaze sighed, before boosting his form up from the ground and propelling small flames towards the vines, breaking them apart and releasing more and more people from their encaged nightmares.

"Oldest trick in the book, sweetie," Shadow grinned widely, a black tongue sticking out past her lips as she teased the villain once more.

Oh how he wished she wouldn't tease him so much, but she knew he could handle it, he supposed, and he knew she'd be able to handle the actions he was about to take.

"Shadow!" Felix projected his voice once more, "you have terrorised this city one too many times!"

And with that, he blasted her a few streets away, making sure she had wrapped herself up in her elusive, shimmering cloak before he did so.

Screams of joys and cheers erupted around the city, people gathering around Blaze and praising him before he saluted them and vanished before their very eyes. He found where Shadow was immediately, hidden around an abandoned street where they knew nobody would see them. Or so it seemed.

"Y/Nnie, you ok love?" Felix approached the dark spot quickly, a grin appearing on his face when he saw the exhausted smile of his lover.

"That was quite the show," Y/N applauded her boyfriend before they embraced for a moment, her cloak slightly slipping off of her shoulders.

"You're telling me that? You trapped more people than normal in those dark bubbles, making me work harder you are," Felix chuckled and poked her cheek.

"Gotta switch it up?" Y/N shrugged, relishing the physical contact she had with Felix, appreciating his presence. It soothed something inside of her, made her calm.

"Who was it this time?" Felix prompted, wanting to know why she had trapped those certain people. Y/N always had a reason for these things, despite what the public view was. No one would believe that the villain thought carefully about who she targeted, why would they? They saw her as a reckless heathen who didn't belong anywhere.

"Well first, there was this group of perverted guys creeping on some teenage girls," Y/N began, her fingers stroking delicately over Felix's hands. He watched her explain with full attention.

"Mm, fair, ok, and what about that girl, she was like the same age as you, I swear," Felix wondered.

"Oh, her, ugh," Y/N rolled her eyes.

"You know her, love?" Felix tilted her chin up so she'd look up at him.

"Stacey Arnold, locked me in the cleaning cupboard at high school..." Y/N trailed off with a sigh. Black smoke lifted from her her hands covered in the same colour as she reflected on those torturous years.

"And...?" Felix rose an eyebrow, subtly switching the grips of their hands so that he could eradicate the air of her stygian darkness.

"Why does there have to be an and?" Y/N grumbled, still hesitant sometimes to reveal what had happened in her past. Hesitant to reveal what made her feel like a shameful being, a monster on the hill.

"There always is," Felix sang lowly, pressing his forehead against hers.

"She cut off a chunk of my hair," Y/N grumbled, kicking some stones.

"Oh no I love your hair," Felix pouted, pulling away to touch her hair and admire it.

"I'm starting to think my hair is so dry because of the heat from your hands when you're grabbing it," Y/N joked, teasing Felix about when he'd get all hot and bothered, like now, even when he was blushing.

"Wanna test that theory?" Felix leaned closer, brushing his lips against hers in the beginning of a much needed make out session.

Unbeknownst to them, was a man only slightly older than them, traipsing the streets of Seoul after the huge fight that had happened.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

Enter, Chan. He had been walking with a blue notepad in hand, pen balancing on his ear which held the weight of his clear lens glasses. Fluffy brown hair sat atop his head, a frown formed on his face as he began to think would a story of his ever get published?

Well, now he had a story alright, the city's superhero Blaze and Villain, Shadow, caught in a steamy situation.

That is, if his boss would ever believe it. He hadn't progressed as far in his career as he would have liked to, always being undermined as an apprentice despite his allegiance to the Seoul Life company for six years. Six years and he was miserable. The newspaper wasn't very popular anyways, the only way they'd catch attention would be with a controversial headline, one that sparked distasteful rumours. Well, at least he had one that would be telling the truth this time. He just hoped and prayed it would get accepted. His other articles hadn't been before.

"No, Chan, no one cares about these supposed musical injustices of artists having no rights over their own music!" his boss slammed down the typed out copy of Chan's story down on his desk in the head office. Deep wrinkles set on the man's forehead.

"People care! I care!" Chan insisted, a look of desperation on his face.

"I'm scrapping it, you need some sort of better story," his boss leant back in his chair, rolling his eyes.

"No, sir! Please don't! I really think it could-"

"Watch this, and learn," his boss's voice pierced through his apprentice's words, as he he promptly fed the shredder beside him with Chan's hard work.

"I'm sorry," Chan looked down, feeling guilty that he once again had not created a successful report for the company. He didn't even know why they kept him around anymore, probably just to collect the coffees and do the printing.

But upon this day, he headed to the top floor of the building and knocked excitedly on his boss's door.

"Yes? What is it?!" his boss called out, seemingly in a good mood until he saw Chan and frowned.

"I got you your coffee. And I've got an amazing story to go with it," Chan was firm with his words, determination and adrenaline coursing through his veins.

"This better be good..."

"Another fight just happened with Blaze and Shadow-"

"I know this Chan, that's why I sent out the competent writers of this company to go and report," his boss sighed, sipping his coffee and hissing when it was still too hot on his tongue.

"Well I bet they didn't see the arch enemies of the city making out in a back alley," Chan grinned, raising his eyebrows up.

"Out of all the things I have heard..." his boss pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It's true! Look I managed to grab a photo!" Chan pulled out his phone and showed evidence, causing his boss's eyes to widen.

"Well I never... I tell you what boy, we'll publish this, if you can get this story done in 1 hour we'll send it out straight away! We'll publish it online before the other companies can even think about speculating this sort of story. I think you could have us earning some good money here!" his boss, for the first time ever, smiled in front of him. And that was all the motivation Chan needed, all the motivation he needed to prove himself.

It had been 2 days since the article had been published. 2 days, since chaos erupted. Online, hateful comments were sent Chan's way, claiming he was some sick fantasist who conjured up some fictional idea that two prominent figures, although one of them very hated, were engaging in such interactions.

He felt like his life was over. And the company did nothing to defend his name, despite the fact that his boss had been so enthusiastic about the idea and what profit and benefits would come from it. Sure, they caught a lot of attention, but not the right kind. So much so, that they publicly fired Chan, and stated that he was no longer working with them.

For the first time since the publication, Chan dared to venture into the city for a bite to eat, a treat to ease his stress. It seemed, it was only more stressful for him than he could have imagined. It wasn't so bad at first, but then people started recognising him and soon enough he was swarmed in a vicious crowd of people hurling insults at him.

"You sicko!"

"This man thought he could make us read a fanfiction?!"

"What a disgrace to our country!"

"Blaze would never do that!"

"Get him!"

He was spiraling, wishing that the ground would swallow him up, or that he could go back to before he made that article and live the dull normal life he lived before. Anything better than all of this attention on him.

"Stop... stop... I'm sorry... I wasn't lying... please..." Chan cried. He begged. He needed saving.

Good thing this city has a hero.

Before he knew it, he was encompassed by a warm soothing light, blaze, you could say. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut. Then peace and quiet. His heartbeat that was racing slowed down, and all he could hear was the deep rumbling of someone's voice trying to calm him, and the sizzling of food frying in a pan. It smelt delicious. Perhaps this would be the bite to eat he had attempted to get.

"It's ok, hey, you're safe, don't worry, no one will know where you are, I've got you," the deep voice soothed Chan out of his trance, warm hands cradling his face and he opened his eyes to see a handsome, freckled man in front of him.

Holy shit. It was Blaze. It was Blaze that saved him?!

"Take a seat, I know, it's shocking, I'll sign your autograph later, yeah?" Blaze giggled, sitting Chan down on a creaky sofa, and wrapping him in a black blanket.

"Stop being so cocky, Felix!" a female voice called out from behind him, echoing across the room in the direction of where that divine smell was coming from.

"Give me a moment," 'Blaze', or Felix, whispered to Chan, stroking his hair gently before comically marching away. "Hey! It's not my fault people get starstruck around me!"

"Yeah, yeah! Just give the poor man some food, he's shaken up," Shadow laughed.

Wow. Her laugh was much different to when he had heard her before. It was sweet even. Who would have thought...

"Right, umm, sorry, here, eat up!" Felix fumbled over his words before handing Chan a steaming plate of ramen.

"Ow!" Chan sucked air through his teeth, wincing at how hot it was.

"Shit! Sorry! I forget how you normies are with hot things," Felix rushed, "here, use the blanket to cover the sides, won't be so hot that way."

And that's what Chan did. He used the dark blanket that had been wrapped around him to cover the bowl from scalding his hands, and took a bite of the ramen, doing a happy little wiggle at the taste.

"Told you my ramen was the best," Shadow smirked, arms folded as she leant against the wall in front of Chan, boasting at her lover.

"Never said it was bad," Felix shook his head, before turning to grab a plate of his own.

This was oddly domestic, Chan thought. No one would ever really think about the hero and the villain of the city cooking together, or having this playful, teasing bickering. It was sweet, endearing, and he longed to have that.

"Hey is that my cloak?!" Shadow put her hands on her hips, glaring at Chan and therefore sending shivers down his spine.

"Felix... Ummm, B-blaze gave it to me... I think... I'm not sure... It was all a blur to be honest... I-"

"Y/N, leave him alone. The poor guy was just calming down and now you've gone and freaked him out," Felix tutted, making Y/N realise her mistake and she dropped her intimidating look.

"Sorry... Hmm, well, I guess I'll let you get away with it, you're pretty cute," Y/N shrugged it off, making Felix smirk at her knowingly.

"Uhh, thanks? Umm thank you for the food! It's really nice! And, umm, thank you for, umm, saving me," Chan rushed out his words, making sure his appreciation was hung in the air for the couple in front of him to see.

"That's ok, Mr Journalist," Felix grinned back, taking a bite of his own lunch.

"Ah so this is the one who tried to expose us, hmm?" Y/N's face lit up in recognition.

"Ah yeah, that's me. I'm sorry, I just wanted to get a good story out," Chan rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly before pushing his glasses up.

"It's fine, and to be fair, I can't even get mad at you, at least you were truthful," Y/N nodded in understanding.

She really had a much warmer heart than Chan could have ever anticipated. She was being so kind to him, so was Felix. He didn't expect it, and so, he put that down to the reason why tears welled up in his gorgeous brown eyes.

"Hey, it's ok, really, don't get upset," Felix put down his food to stroke Chan's back.

"It's just... things will never be normal again, everyone hates me," Chan sniffled.

At that moment, Felix glanced at Y/N to help out.

"Oh sure, I'll help, I can relate," Y/N nodded, hyping herself up to comfort Chan as she sat on his other side and took his hand in hers.

"I-i don't know what to do," Chan's voice cracked

"You can stay with us. No-one will be able to seek you out, ok? And soon you'll be able to return to normal everyday living, people will forget about it, I'm sure. You've got us now, ok?" Y/N spoke softly, hushing Chan's cries.

"Really? I-i can stay here?" he was astonished at the idea but he had no other choice. Plus, they had been so welcoming so far.

"You can. I mean it. As long as you don't spill food on my cape again," Y/N wrinkled her nose and rubbed away at the mark.

"Oh sorry! Umm, well, please, I'd like that," Chan nodded, and Felix wrapped an arm around him to offer further comfort.

"We've got you," Felix spread warmth around Chan's body, creating this fuzzy, happy feeling.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

1 year later, and Chan was still living with the couple. But things had changed, quite massively. Not long after he had began living with them he noticed many different things, ever so observant as a past journalist. The lingering hands, the kisses on the head when they thought he had fallen asleep, the invitations to cuddle them in their bed.

When he confronted them about it, after gathering the courage to, both Felix and Y/N were very frank about their feelings, despite the latter being slightly embarrassed that she had been caught out in her tender actions. After all, Y/N had quite the reputation to be cold and unloving, but Chan knew that very day be met her, that she was the complete opposite. And to him, Felix was different from his heroic persona too. Sure, he had his arrogant moments, but it was only ever said in a joking tone, and that warmth that he had seen in news broadcast footage, translated emotionally too. They were his support. His lifeline. And he'd be ever so thankful that he found them. They even helped him find his new hobby, one he was excited to make money about.

"We're back!" Felix and Y/N called out as they entered the apartment, both of them panting. From staging another fight scene, not anything else, you pervs.

"In here!" Chan yelled out happily, sat in front of his computer.

"Hard at work I see," Y/N kissed him on the forehead, resting her own head on his shoulder to snoop at what he had been working on this time.

"Wow, you've written quite the story there, love," Felix stroked Chan's hair as he squinted his eyes to see what was on the screen.

"Yeah, well, someone paid me ₩200,000 for a commission! Insane I know!" Chan breathed out a laugh, happy that his new job could bring money into their home together.

"What's it about this time?" Felix queried with genuine curiosity.

"Well, ok, so they wanted me to write an imagine where Blaze and Shadow were best friends at school but got separated after moving different countries. So it's got this friends to lovers, reunited trope going on," Chan danced in his seat happily as he explained to his boyfriend and girlfriend about what he was writing.

"You and your fanfiction, ey?" Y/N laughed fondly, rubbing Chan's arms.

"Well, if you can't beat them join them," Chan laughed back, "plus it's fun writing these made up scenarios, especially when people want to insert themselves into the story. I know I've got the real thing. I'm so lucky," he rambled on.

"Yeah, and soppy," Y/N pulled his chair away from the computer.

"Hey! I like the compliments, tell me more!" Felix sat on Chan's lap, dragging Y/N on top of him awkwardly as they shared giggles, stories and kisses about how their days had gone.

It certainly wasn't how Chan expected his life to go. But he wouldn't exchange it for anything now that he got a taste of love, and pure compassion.

Felix was the light that shone down upon him and saved him that very day. And Y/N was the shadow that was always there for him, no matter what. It made sense didn't it? After all, such darkness and lightness coexisting meant that there had to be a third in between the two, otherwise one would feel lonely without the other.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @kai-lee08 @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami @yangbbokari @skzoologist @crabrangoongirl25 @lixie-phoria

[chierafied]

Over Her Dead Body

Written for @jilytoberfest - Bittersweet Challenge. Prompt: "I never thought I could have this” 770 words. Also on AO3.

His step on the stairs was heavy as Lily hastily piled a few boxes against the door. It was a futile attempt, as far as barricades went. Clumsy, working with only one arm. She knew it was the end, but her broken heart was still pounding in her chest.

-

His heart pounded against hers. His legs were tangled with hers in the best of ways as his fingers brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. His hazel eyes were intent on hers. “Lily Evans”, he said, his voice low, warm and soft, “please marry me. Will you be my wife?”

-

Her screaming had died. Silence reigned now, ghastly and terrible; only broken by the ominous creaks in the stairs. Each of those small sounds stabbed right through her as tears slid down her face.

-

A single tear escaped when she saw them threaten in his eyes, as well. His hands were warm and steady as they clasped hers, and he gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. The smile on her lips bloomed into its full glory as she gave her answer. “I do.”

-

If only she had her wand with her. She’d been stupid, so stupid. But even with the wand she knew there wouldn’t have been time to take down the Anti-Apparition enchantments. She’d layered them deep and refreshed them just last week. Maybe she could have chanced the window, if — the hand resting on her stomach twitched.

-

Her hand rested on her stomach and he couldn’t take his eyes off it.

“Really?” he asked for the third time.

“Yes!” Lily laughed. “You’re going to be a father.”

James couldn’t stop grinning.

-

Terror squeezed her throat as she gently rocked Harry in her arms.

“It’s all right, Harry. Mummy’s here.” But though the words were reassuring, her voice was strained, on the edge of breaking. Harry’s face scrunched up and he let out a whimper.

-

The tiny whimper had been merely a warning; in the next second it swelled into an indignant cry. James didn’t mind. He was full of stunned awe as he cradled the disgruntled baby in his arms. His eyes were shining with tears when he finally tore his gaze off his son and looked at her. “He’s perfect, Lily. Look how perfect he is.”

-

The thud of feet on the landing shot a new jolt of fear and anguish into Lily. From there, it only took seven steps to reach the door. Trapped here, in this worst nightmare of hers, anticipating the horror about to come, she almost wished it over. Waiting for the inevitable was just another form of torture.

-

Waiting had been torture. First, she’d had to be absolutely sure. Then, the Order mission assigned to him had run long, her excitement drooping into anxiety as the hours passed. But now, finally, there was a knock at the door. Lily hastened through their usual routine of code phrases exchanged, then hauled James in and into her arms.

“What’s all this?” he murmured into her hair. “It’s all right. I’m all right.”

And, unable to wait another second, Lily blurted the news. “I’m pregnant.”

James staggered back and the look he gave her was stunned. Then his hands were cupping her face, pulling her into a wild kiss.

“I never thought I could have all this,” James whispered against her lips. “You. Harry. Everything. You’ve filled my life with so much love, Lily. Given me so much to be grateful for. And now we’re getting another one.”

And in that moment, despite all the darkness surrounding them out in the world, with James’ hand lightly stroking her stomach, Lily’s heart was bursting of happiness.

-

The door burst open. The boxes she’d piled against it flew aside. And then he stood in the doorway, looming large, his wand at the ready. All Lily’s fear condensed into a quiet desperation. She pressed a kiss on Harry’s forehead and slipped him into his cot with a murmured goodbye.

She whirled around and threw her arms wide, shielding her son and the only remaining sliver she had of James.

Looking into the eyes of her enemy, of the wizard who’d murdered her husband, Lily began to beg for mercy.

“Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!”

But of course, he didn’t have any mercy to give.

“Stand aside, you silly girl... Stand aside, now...” he demanded coldly.

Lily Potter trembled, but stood her ground. Her place was here, always here, between danger and Harry. Between certain death and her son. The only way Lord Voldemort was going to get to Harry, was over her dead body.

[banes-favourite]

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD UGH i’m imagining like the day after Durge comes back and they’re in Baldur’s Gate with the rest of their companions and MAYBE Gortash invites them back to Wyrm’s Fortress (for a secret plan obviously) (no) (he just misses them) and Gortash gets drunk (maybe they both do idk) and he just like lowkey breaks.

he like SOBS uncontrollably about how much he missed them, how strange the Fortress seemed without them. how the netherstone that fell into Orin’s grasp didn’t BELONG to her so he had to hide his disgust whenever he saw it attached to her or something bc gah DAMN that’s NOT HER’S!!!!

how maybe his bed felt so cold and empty and unfamiliar without a Bhaalspawn to inhabit it too, how he’d reach for them sometimes and would only meet the cold sheets!!! and then he’d feel his tears, get his ass up outta bed and get his anti-anxiety cloak to NOT THINK ABOUT THEM!!!!!!

i am also AGREEING he def threw himself into work to avoid thinking abt them and lowkey i think he got super sick bc of both the excessive alcohol and the sleep deprivation so he probably spills about that too lowkey…..

his big ol’ rant (tm) definitely gets super super heated and it ends with him probably screaming at Durge, cursing the ground they walk on bc they LEFT them!!! when everyone else did too!!!!

probably ends with him sobbing his eyes out ty and goodnight

IM SORRY I DIDN'T READ THIS FOR SO LONG I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING FOR FORGIVENESS BC OMG?? OH MY GOD???? MY HEART ?)??

[jewish-vents]

My right wing family likes to laugh in my face about how the left hates us. We live in a state where Neo Nazis have a compound in the woods where they shot and killed multiple Native American women and at least one black man. The right is not on our side. The left is not on our side. But all my family cares about is telling me how they were correct and I was wrong. I don't know if they think "I'm on the right!" will save them. I have no evidence to suggest that yelling that would save their lives. To a Nazi you're still Jewish and to a Hamasnik you just gave them a second reason to kill you.

I wish I had a mom who asked me if I was okay. I wish I had a dad who gave me advice. I wish my brother would stop texting me news stories of the latest celebrity that came out as anti-Jewish. I wish my sister would stop relentlessly bringing up how every musician behind every song I listen to hates me (she's a DJ, she has a lot of music knowledge). I wish I had someone to spend Shabbat with.

After having had anxiety attacks for four months of Shabbats straight, ten times so badly that I threw up, four times so badly I dissociated and don't recall 5+ hours of the evening clearly, I've stopped talking to them other than to copy and paste "I don't want to talk to you." I woke up Friday morning with physical pain in my chest. I was terrified of having to spend time with them. And then it hit me: I didn't have to, this time. I didn't have to be insulted and made fun of and have the entire dinner table laughing at me, to my face, even when I hyperventilated or cried or stopped interacting with the world and just sat there staring at nothing.

My mother texted me today telling me that not coming over had "hurt" her. I replied, "I don't want to talk to you. I want to talk to the person who raised me who actually cared how I was doing. You messed me up so badly that I'm considering going no contact entirely."

She asked me if I really wanted to be completely alone.

I said yes so quickly I didn't even have time to blink before I sent the text. I would rather have absolutely no one than my "family". The biggest obstacle in my continued efforts not to relapse into alcoholism and self-harm is them. The world's antisemitism was not unexpected. Them kicking me while I'm down again and again and again was beyond my capacity to imagine and I just can't take it anymore. I have no idea how I've stayed sober. It is a miracle that I haven't injured myself. But I can't keep going and continue to put up with this.

This last Shabbat I slept. I was so exhausted I just laid in bed and caught up on my sleep. I work for a suicide hotline, I deal with a lot at work. I don't sleep well. For the past four months, I wasn't sleeping well Thursday nights/Friday mornings, especially.

Even if the world somehow went back to normal, this last year has completely broken any bonds there were between me and my family. And even if everything somehow resolved itself, I wouldn't want them back. I don't want to be around people who used me as a punching bag during their times of stress.

I wish I had a family. I don't wish it badly enough to interact with the one I used to have.

.

[thekinkyleopard]

Crime Spreeze

An Al, Elex and Perry snz fic

⚠️Content Warning⚠️

Bullying, SicFic, Sexual Harassment, Cussing,

Panic/Anxiety, OCD/Germaphobia, Fluff

Description: Elex has to go on a heist, with his least favorite demons tagging along out of obligation, he wonders how he’s going to get through it especially when he realizes he’s getting sick.

Author’s Notes: 🫣 Don’t look at me!!!!! Im sorry this took longer to get out than promised 😭 I’ve been DEEP in the trenches. My life is a whole mess right now. However, I found the motivation and will to finish this Nonny request! Elex’s first time getting sick in front of people he doesn’t know very well, nor likes 🫣 Hope you enjoy! ~ (this fic also delves deeper into Elex’s experience with his Germaphobia/OCD and could be triggering so I just wanna leave a second mention!) @aller-geez did the cover and owns Perry!

Elex groaned he threw his feet around and he grabbed a pillow, shoveling it over his face screaming with the loudest decibel he could, though muffled significantly by the pillow tightly shoved against his face. He was given a job today, and it had a really, really impressive payout. However, when he saw today who he would have to be meeting up with, and dealing with, he immediately, wanted to back out. Perry. The dude was a psychopath, they’d met a few times through other jobs, and through a certain red headed fuck bringing him around on the occasion he was in town. The green haired man groaned with angst and disdain. He couldn’t sit through a job having to deal with that asshole today.

“Whats wrong, El?” Sven asked walking in mid-tantrum. Ignoring Sven's question, Elex tossed the pillow aside and sat up, running a hand through his disheveled green hair. He knew he couldn't back out of the job now, he’d already said yes, if he backed out, he’d probably get jumped. Taking a deep breath, he finally responded to Sven, "It's Perry. I can't stand that fuckin’ guy, Every time we've crossed paths, it's been a nightmare…" he sighed deeply with irritation laced in every word of his sentence.

Sven raised an eyebrow, concern flickering in his eyes. "You sure you can handle this job with him involved?" his tone a bit apprehensive as he knew just how impatient and explosive his feral partner could be.

Elex nodded grimly, determination hardening his features. "I don't have a choice, The payout is too good to pass up.. I'll just have to keep my guard up and play pretend like we’re best fuckin’ friends," he gagged visibly, but not genuinely. The cat chuckled a bit at his boyfriend’s general demeanor.

As he got up from the bed, Elex began to mentally prepare himself for the inevitable confrontation with Perry. Today was going to be a long day, he could already tell…and there was something….off about the way he felt. His face was slightly hot, and his nose felt peculiarly prickly…stuffed. He went to the bathroom, and splashed a handful of cold water across his face before he got stuck in a whirlwind. ‘Germs…gErMs…DIRTY…’ he heard a low, sickly and gravely voice inside his head as the water hit his face. “Ugggghhh,” he grumbled audibly before getting out his face wash and his anti-bacterial soap. First the badger with determined eyes, washed and scrubbed his hands up to his elbows. Once he had completed that, he decided to brush his teeth, before finally get to soaping up his face. Once he had deemed himself sufficiently clean enough he stepped back and took out a fresh towel, bringing it to his face and gently drying himself where necessary. Making extra sure to care for the spots that hadn’t been properly showered least to not mix himself.

However, he put too much consideration into it, which got him spiraling into more thoughts. ‘Shower…You need to shower…the rest of you…it’ll spread..’ “JEsUs fucking christ,” he hissed behind gritted teeth, now starting to undress but in the process was slamming cabinets and being all around obnoxious about his movements in the bathroom. Sven came walking in.

“Babe, you good?” He asked with a cautious, almost confused tone and a raised teal brow.

“No! This Perry shit has me freaking out…I’m not clean enough and I need to shower…it’s going to make me LATE, and that’s going to cause some sort of smart mouthed, passive aggressive, borderline psychotic shit to come out his big stupid mouth!” the badger exploded in a long tangent that sent the cat back an inch, unexpecting of this sudden display of emotions, but not being unfamiliar in this territory.

“Okay, Okay, breathe…” Sven stepped closer, putting his palms out trying to calm the other who only shook his head in defiance.

“I cant right now, Sven, I have to shower, I have to get clean…can you pleas…snDf..just get me some clean clothes?” the Cheshire narrowed his orange eyes and looked his mate up and down. He was coming down with something. His rampant Phobia would appear whenever the badger had a sinking feeling he was ill or around someone who was ill.

“You’re sick,” the orange and teal haired man crossed his arms over his chest and he shook his head slowly.

“No, I’m not, actually…I’m just…stressed, now go! shoo! clothes! Please!!” he waved the other away, dismissing his comment though knowing it was a pill he’d probably regret not swallowing.

Sven sighed, realizing there was no stopping Elex when he got into one of these states. Reluctantly, he left the bathroom to fetch some fresh clothes for his germophobic partner. As Elex started the water for his shower, the thoughts in his mind continued to torment him. ‘What if he’s right? What if SICK? Germs?? What if germs already inside…’ The hot water cascading over his body did little to calm his racing mind. He did his best as he scrubbed his skin so hard it was almost getting raw. The moment the soap started to sting, Elex blinked his duo colored eyes clear and looked down at his blotchy, reddened mixed skin. “Fuck..��� he sighed. “Overdid it..” he let the water caress him for a while longer, trying to settle the racing, impulsive thoughts that continued to plague him to scrub more while his new rashes burned under the temperature of the water.

According to Sven, therapy had been doing him well in their conversations and communication, however much Elex denied. Yet, in this moment he started to see what the cat meant. Normally, in his teen years especially, he’d be in the shower for hours, he’d scrub until his skin bled and developed sores, he would do anything to try and rid himself of the germs. As he has been attending help, and seeking guidance against his fears, he realized in this moment, there was a bit of hope. His sinuses now feeling cleared, or perhaps, numbed, the badger turned off the water and stepped out, grabbing his towel and wrapping it around his waist.

“Hey, left your clothes on the bed if that’s okay I gotta get going to an auction, they want to display my photos,” he said from the doorway, staring his boyfriend down in a caring, nervous way. “You good?”

“Yeah, I’m good, good luck at your thingy,” Sven nodded with a soft, reassuring smile, though the cat still felt wary looking at him. None the less, he chuckled and shook his head.

“Auction,” reminding the badger in a subtle, but gentle way that it was important to him that Elex remembered the things he was saying, not just generally answering to suffice the conversation.

“Right, Auction,” the badger nodded again, his own way of receiving the slight nudge, and responding accordingly, the best way he simply could.

“I love you,” Sven smiled, still keeping his distance knowing a single touch of his finger tip could possibly set the badger a blaze.

“Mhh I love you too, kid,” it was Elex who stepped forward, an leaning down a bit, kissed the cat on his lips gingerly with a smirk on his face. “It’s not your germs I’m scared of, remember?”

“I know…I just worry,” the cat shrugged gently, almost not trying to make too big of a deal out of what he just said.

“I know,” taking note of the other’s body language, Elex replied simply, trying his best as well to, not make his issues, apart of Sven’s day.

“Try to have a good day?” his boyfriend poked, and though Elex felt the need to explode, as if he was going to ever have the chance at a good day he simply swallowed it and nodded again, lips pulled up into a half smile.

“You too, kid,” Sven smiled, genuinely, almost enough to brighten the entire room, the badger’s heart skipped a beat and he cleared his throat, nodding again as he watched Sven start to leave the doorway.

“Alright, I’m heading out,” finally the cat turned on his heels and began toward the door, out to his car and off the property entirely.

“See ya,” the badger turned around now focused again on his current task of getting dressed, noticing the silence in his head he was thankful. The small notes of affection, the working harder to love each other through their issues and the way Sven made him generally feel…calmed him enough to get through the rest of his routine.

~Later that same afternoon~

Elex pulls up to the meet up, leaning nervously against his seat and gripping his wheel so tightly, his knuckles start to turn white. “Come on dillweed where are you?” he sighed with clear frustration, unlike the demon to be late, he started looking through each of his windows and mirrors periodically to keep his eye out. By this point, Perry was 5 minutes late, and Elex fucking hated that, but was unable to really keep track of the time as his face started to burn hotter. It had been a few hours since he showered, the comforting feeling from the steam had long left him of peace and he was now only painfully aware that he was in fact, coming down with something. “SNdF…Shit,” he fumbled through his car for some tissues, or fast food napkins, anything. He couldn’t find anything but a tshirt, having cleaned his car out a couple days ago. He sighed wanting desperately to wipe his nose but it couldn’t be on this. ‘GeRMS! No! Dirty shirt! No! Dirty!’

The badger growls loudly wishing he could just slam his head into the steering wheel, but that would probably only intensify the current, pressure already building inside his skull. “Fucking A dude you look like shit,” he heard a familiar voice outside his window as Elex gripped the sides of his temples. Perry.

“I’m fine…just…a headache is all..SNDDFfF..” he snuffled loudly, trying to mask the need to wipe his nose by over compensating with an inhale. Perry opened the passenger door to the car with a chuckle already sensing his deceit, before a familiar, unwanted presence made itself known.

“I heard the familiar sound of a cold sniffle, is that an illness I hear, El?” Alistar slid into the back seat like the uninvited piece of shit he was. Leaning in between the two front seats to examine and invade Elex’s space.

“NUH UH, The fuck is he doing here?” the badger leaned back to try and create space between him and Al, narrowing his eyes already engulfed with rage.

“He’s apart of the mission, dear buddy, relaaaaax, it’s fine,” Perry waved his hand nonchalantly, slipping into the passenger seat and closing the door. “He can get us past all the guards without any energy exerted on our part!” the two demons snickered at each other in unison.

“And what the fuck does he get out of it?” the green haired man scoffed with agitation, borderline disbelief.

“Your COMPANY Els! Your company, you know, my pet is quite the rival to yours, I think we could make that work to our benefit ya know..?? “ Alistar turned his head innocently, it was as if he was trying to make himself a bit more digestible.

“You were hoping I’d help you manipulate our boyfriends?” the badger narrowed his eyes even further, his brows falling into a scowl.

“Boyfriend? The fuck? No no, demon,” Al points to himself with loose, blackened fingers. “Don’t do ‘boy friends’,” He emphasized with air quotes he’d seen done on tv “but yes, I was hoping I could persuade you into an agreement…” he smiled sweetly after his sentence, masking the deviousness behind his request.

“I’m not doing any deals with you, devil,” Elex spat turning his head to avoid eye contact, his nose tingling, itching insistently but, he wouldn’t break. Not in front of these two.

“Maybe not noooowww…but later, presumably…when it’s convenient to you, the offer is there,” wiggling his red eyebrows in a mischievous yet playful manner.

“Alright princesses are we done with our crumpets and tea? I’m admittedly a bit late, due to picking up this cheeky fuck, but we do have a deadline,” the electrician reminded them, Elex rolling his eyes and started the vehicle.

“Fine, Whatever, lets get this over with, where are we going?” he grumbled starting to drive away from the meet up spot they all congregated at, his head pounding insistently making it almost harder to focus on the road ahead.

“Just follow my directions, Els,” Perry chirped from the passenger seat, shifting in his spot as he reached for the car radio to tune the music to a volume that was just right. Right after, he promptly placed his feet up on the dash and leaned back on his hands behind his head. Elex begrudgingly complied, trying to avoid freaking out about the man’s dirty shoes on his dash, his mind churning with a mix of annoyance and the persistent discomfort of his worsening cold. Twitching, and rolling his nose in sad attempts at calming the forbidden itch he refused to scratch.

As they drove towards their destination, the tension in the car was palpable. Alistar, sitting in the back, seemed to be relishing in Elex's obvious discomfort, occasionally making snide remarks that only served to irritate the badger further. “Can he even see the road with those welling eyes?” The red eyed demon teased. Elex gritted his teeth and focused on the directions being loosely given, determined not to let Al get under his skin. Ignoring his advances and keeping his eyes set forward. Alistar feeling slightly disappointed in the lack of response. Not nearly as fun as the wolf.

After what felt like an eternity of twists and turns through unfamiliar streets, Perry finally directed Elex to pull over near a nondescript building. “This is it,” Perry announced cheerfully, unbuckling his seatbelt and turning to face Elex. “I figured we could just walk up through the front? Ya know? Since Al can just tell them we're supposed to be here,” the electrician shrugged, sparking his fingers with a grin. “And if that doesn’t work…been awhile since I’ve had a meal..” Elex rolled his eyes and patted his hands across the air.

“Alright, Alright..We,” he then paused looking the man over, up and down with furrowed brows. “Meal?” he had assumed kill them, sure, that was whatever, it’s own monster, but did this man just say meal?

“Yeah, I consume souls, duh, it’s just easier to not have to…” he yawned almost as if he was bored of having to explain this seemingly, to him, minor detail.

“I’d prefer he didn’t consume them, for personal reasons, mainly why I signed up,” Al chimed in from behind them with a raised index finger as they all started to shuffle outside of the car.

“Secrets are healthy,” the badger shook his head, pinching his aching bridge.

“Are they secrets, Elex, or are they boundaries?” Perry said thoughtfully between them, before shooting the man a wink.

“Jesus christ…” shuffling his hands in his pockets, the badger began to walk at a faster pace to try and get to the entrance ahead of them before he literally exploded in every sense and shape of the word. His nostrils flaring as he flexed them with the hopes it would cease their discomfort. It didnt.

“What’s my uncle got to do with this?” Al turned his head curiously to look over at Perry who shrugged once.

“OH my g-..You know what, lets just fucking go get this over with…” Elex grumbled still being able to hear them from behind him as they all seemingly approached in the same relative time span.

“Halt, what’s your business here?” the guard asks, stepping in direct center of the entrance way to block them out. Elex turns to the red head, assuming he will take the lead, and Alistar simply clears his throat, steps forward and closes his eyes. “Well?” The guard asks again with impatience. Once the demon’s eyes reopen, they’re completely black and he smirks.

“You’re just gonna let us in buddy, because you know deep down, we need to be here,” Perry already behind him, hovering, practically salivating on top of him, the air slowly starting to feel suffocating. Elex shuddered, stepping further away, skeeved out by the demon’s hunger. The guard, and the two others behind him, both went stiff, nodding and stepping aside for the men to enter. “Oh and I’mma…” Al plucking the badge off the man he then attached it to his own studded belt, playing with the pully mechanism cheerfully. “Need this, thanks…Heh..fun,” the three of them strolled in, and as the demons wandered more ahead, having a key, Elex found himself trailing behind.

He sighed deeply, feeling a sudden chill creep up his spine. It was a subtle sensation at first, just a slight tingle in the back of his throat, a faint shiver running down his arms. Elex shook it off, “Not now…” he grumbled, attributing it weakness. But as they delved deeper into the grandiose building, his symptoms began to intensify. A low-grade fever seemed to blanket him, causing beads of sweat to form on his forehead despite the cool air inside. His throat felt scratchy and dry with every breath he took, a harsh cough threatening to escape his lips. Elex clenched his jaw, refusing to give in to weakness in front of his companions, a bead of sweat trickling down the side of his temple.

The pressure behind his eyes throbbed with a dull ache, and his limbs felt heavy, as if weights were tied to them. The corridor stretched endlessly before him, the dimly lit walls seeming to close in on him with each step he took. Perry's voice echoed in the distance “I think it’s up ahead,” at this point everything started to sound like it was under water.

“Oooh~ I havent seen this relic in person only in father’s books…” Alistar muttered excitedly, poking his elbow into the other. Perry snickered and crossed his eyes.

“I’Ve oNlY sEeN iT iN fAtHeR’s BoOkS…” the man teased, Alistar furrowing his brows and jabbing the other with a shoulder check.

“Fuck off, dick shit,” the red head rolled his ruby eyes and huffed through his nose, nudging him one last time.

“Look how easy you get ruffled, almost as easy as Elex,” Perry continued to poke and tease at his two partners in crime, the both of them flat faced as they failed to find the humor in his antics. “Oh come on, sour pusses! Take a joke, fuck,” rolling his mischievous eyes the electrician spotted a surge of power, lining up right under the relic they were sent to grab.

“Is this the thing we need to bring back to Strouse?” Elex asked slowly, as if he was fighting against a powerful storm brewing inside him. In general, everything he did was seemingly slower, walking, talking, looking between the two of them. Alistar narrowed his eyes and observed the badger’s sluggish demeanor and clocked the rising crown of sweat that shown under the lights, and under the cracks in El’s green bangs. He grinned, though, Elex was mostly looking at Perry now, the demon was excited, he knew there was no way this dude could escape the explosion.

“Yup! I’ll disengage the security system for the plate its sitting on so you can just grab it, It’s going to be super bright in here for a moment, just a heads up,” a loose chuckle left his lips as he raised his hands and angled them in the direction of the relic’s plate.

A surge of power crackled through Perry's fingertips, his eyes glowing with an electric intensity as he channeled the current towards the security system. With a swift movement of his hands and a bolt of lightning, the system shut down abruptly, causing the room to be enveloped in a blindingly bright light that seemed to sear through Elex's very core.

Elex's vision swam in a sea of white, his whole body trembling as if struck by the bolt himself. The intense brightness was unbearable, each ray stabbing into his eyes like hot needles. His skin prickled with a surge of discomfort, every nerve ending on fire with overwhelming sensation. A strangled cry escaped his lips as he staggered backward, his body convulsing with the uncontrollable urges he’d be suppressing finally ripping through him. He sneezed and it came flying out of him with speckles of spit misting about in front of him. “H’UHhTSCHhiew! hh’ieXSHHH!”

Meanwhile, Alistar watched the spectacle unfold with a mixture of twisted joy and dark lust gleaming in his eyes. The sight of Elex writhing in agony under the assault of Perry’s simple display, had folded the badger quicker than a broken lawn chair. He let out a loud, sinister laugh. “Fuck yeah!” he cheered, stepping closer to hopefully be casualty to the onslaught of spittle that was flying outward.

"Turn around, you fucking pervert!" Elex's voice erupted amidst his sneezes and shivers, the words laced with a mix of fury and discomfort. His body continued to quake as he struggled to regain control, his chest heaving with each labored breath. “Hh’UMFShhiew! h’UShh’iew! etUSCHO!” they just kept coming, assaulting his means of seeming intimidating. The chills that wracked him began to penetrate deep into his bones, sending waves of icy agony through his veins. Alistar, remained steadfast in his position, his gaze fixed on Elex with a twisted grin playing on his lips.

The relentless brightness of the room only served to intensify Elex's misery, he couldn’t be bothered to fight off the red haired perv when every nerve in his body was screaming in protest. He felt utterly exposed, not just physically but also emotionally, as if Alistar's watchful eyes were stripping away the very layers of his ego. Perry, unfazed by the unfolding chaos, moved with practiced ease to secure the relic they had come for since El was a bit busy. His movements fluid and precise against the backdrop of Elex's suffering. “I swear to god Al…if you do- if you don-…” Al raised a red, entertained brow, a shit eating grin stuck on his face while the badger could hardly rip the sentence from his own mouth without an onslaught. “hdt’USSSCHHHIEWW! h’UTSChhiew!”

Alistar leaned in closer to Elex, his breath hot against the badger's ear as he continued to revel in the chaos that was caused. "Having a bit of a rough time there, aren't you, Elex?" he taunted, his voice dripping with malice and amusement. Elex's fists clenched at his sides, the urge to punch the demon in the face growing stronger with each passing moment. But before he could act on his impulses, a sudden clearing of the throat broke through the tension-filled air.

Perry stood there, the relic safely in his hands, his expression neutral yet commanding. His gaze shifted from Alistar to Elex, a silent reminder of their mission and the importance of focusing on the task at hand. “Ladies, are we quite done bickering?” he clicked his tongue like a disappointed mother. The blinding light began to dim, gradually easing the intensity of Elex's discomfort as the security system powered down completely.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Elex shot one last glare at Alistar before turning back to the electrician. “Leds jud go so I can go do bed, SnDdf…h'Ushh'iew!” Covering his mouth with the crook of his elbow this time to not give a certain someone any more of a free show. Al pouted and rolled his eyes.

Elex felt a wave of frustration and humiliation wash over him as he stumbled forward, his body still trembling from the aftershocks of his sneezing fit. Alistar's mocking laughter echoed in his ears, taunting him with every step he took. ‘Smug fucking bastard…’ he cursed internally, despite the beating drums inside his head, and his entire body threatening to shut down, he followed behind the two demons toward the way they came in.

As they made their way back to the car, Elex's mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. He couldn't shake off the feeling of being vulnerable in front of these near-strangers, his sickness exposing a side of himself he preferred to keep hidden. Alistar's depraved presence felt like a constant weight on his shoulders, a reminder of his own powerlessness in the face of the demon's relentless teasing.

“Man, you make the cutest little scrunched up faces when your popping your lid, you know that Els?” The red head prodded at the other, the badger’s face getting increasingly redder as it continued. “The way your spit just came FLYING out at me? Cinematic,”

“Yeah it really was a shock to see how much came out of you when those lights were set off,” the two of them laughed in unison. Elex's cheeks burned with a mixture of embarrassment and rage at the demons' mocking words. Simply too worn to just start wailing on them. He gritted his teeth, refusing to give them the satisfaction of a verbal reaction. The sun was starting to go down, and the soft hue of the setting orb cast down on their bodies as they shuffled by, the guards unphased.

Once inside the vehicle, Elex slumped into the driver’s seat staring blankly out the windshield ahead, feeling drained both physically and emotionally. The demons continued their banter, their voices fading into a distant buzz as exhaustion pulled at Elex's eyelids. He closed his eyes, trying to block out the memories of his horrible experience, but they haunted him like relentless ghosts that tickled his ear drums, buzzing around him like an obnoxious fly that just wouldnt die.

“No but in all seriousness Sneezy Mgee, you good to drive?” Perry asked him, leaning in, snuffling his nose almost in a cocky manner, this still seemed too much like humiliation to keep taking it like this.

“Yeah, asshole, I’m fine,” Elex shoved the other by placing his palm on the demon’s forehead and shoveling him back a few inches, forceful, clearly a stick up his ass. Elex's senses were heightened as he sat back in the driver's seat, trying to shake off the remnants of embarrassment that clung to him like a heavy cloak. The warmth of the leather against his back felt comforting yet suffocating at the same time, mirroring the conflict swirling inside him. Perry's doubt hung in the air like a thick fog, challenging Elex's pride and stirring a fire within him.

“Alright, alright, shit, someone’s in a mood,” lifting his hands defensively before getting comfortable in his seat again.

As he gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles turning colors with the pressure, Elex could feel his control slipping away like grains of sand through his fingers. His jaw clenched with a newfound resolve, a fierce glint in his dual colored eyes that even surprised himself. "I'm more than okay to drive," he declared, his voice steady and unwavering.

Perry raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips. "Oh really? Well, prove it then," he challenged, crossing his arms in anticipation of Elex's response.

Without hesitation, Elex started the vehicle and began driving at a speed that was almost concerning. “Alriiiiiiiight! That’s what Im talking about! Lets get fucking wreckless!” Alistar cheered throwing his fists up and shaking the shoulders of each car seat ahead of him.

Elex's foot pressed harder on the accelerator, the engine roaring with power as the landscape outside blurred into streaks of color. The wind whipped through the open windows, tousling their hair and filling the car with an exhilarating sense of freedom. Perry whooped with excitement, his laughter mingling with the rush of air, but with wind came dust, with dust came, problems. Elex could feel it welling up in his eyes, tears forming and his nose burning with a need to release. He sniffled once, twice, and tried his best to hold it back. If he sneezed, he would close his eyes, and he couldnt afford that whilst driving 90 mph.

Alistar clung to the back of Elex's seat, his eyes glinting with mischief as he goaded Elex on. "Faster, faster, let's see what this baby can really do!" His voice rose above the chaos of the wind and engine, egging Elex to push the limits.

El's heart pounded in his chest, a mixture of fear and adrenaline surging through his veins, but the pressure, the sheer build up happening behind his sinuses was proving to only get worst the faster he drove. Perry turned over to look at the badger and started to notice the clench of the other’s jaw and the tears falling loosely down the sides of his squinted eyes that Elex was in a losing battle with his illness. “Dont you fuckin sneeze, youll kill us all, dont fuckin sneeze,” he said almost seriously, pointing his index finger at him accusingly, but there was a smirk spread across his lips. He was winning.

Elex's knuckles turned white as he gripped the wheel with his full capacity strength, a shock it didnt rip the thing clean off, the internal battle raging within him reaching a crescendo. The wind whipped past them, carrying with it those same allergens that continued to irritate his senses. His breaths came in short, shallow gasps as he fought against the inevitable urge to sneeze, his eyes now watering so badly, he could hardly make out the road anymore anyway.

Alistar cackled with a devious almost unrecognizable sound, his eyes dancing with mischief as he sensed Elex's struggle. "Come on, Elex, let it out! Show us what you're made of!" he taunted, his voice barely audible over the roar of the wind and engine.

“Nahhh, he’s gotta hold it back til we get to the spot, don’t fuck this up now, bro,” snickering mischievously which only caused the badger’s blood to boil, but Elex was at his limit, the battle within him reaching its breaking point. With a final, valiant effort to hold it back, a sudden jolt from a rough patch in the road sent Elex over the edge. His body convulsed involuntarily as he let out a thunderous sneeze that shook the car, causing Alistar and Perry to yelp in surprise. “HH’IEXSHIEW! EHH’tSHIEW!” they flew out of him, his hands involuntarily swerving the vehicle back and forth, a spray of spit hitting the windshield and blocking his line of sight. “Fu-..etUSHCHHOO!” the two demons grabbed onto the handles above them, bracing themselves for possible impact as the badger tried to regain his control in between his fit. “Hh’uhSSCHHHIIIIEWW!" h’USHhi’iew!”

The world seemed to slow down as Elex's eyes squeezed shut, tears streaming down his cheeks as the force of the sneeze overwhelmed him. In that split second of vulnerability, the car swerved off course now, tires screeching as they struggled for traction on the bumpy road. Perry's laughter turned into a heinous cackle, even at this point now, Alistar wasn’t even having fun. What the fuck was wrong with this guy?

Eventually after seconds of chaos, which felt like hours, settled and the badger opened his eyes quickly to regain control of the car, his nose and eyes leaking profusely. The car skidded to a stop on the side of the road, kicking up a cloud of dust in its wake. Elex sat there, panting heavily, his hands still gripping the wheel tightly as he tried to catch his breath. Alistar for once, actually stunned silent, unable to even enjoy what just happened with the slight fear of being shipped back to hell. The red head patted his body with his palms to make sure he was in fact, still alive. “Phew…That was fuckin close,” he chuckled a bit nervously looking over at his friend, the instigator of the almost tragic incident.

Elex wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, feeling a mix of relief and exhaustion wash over him. He turned to look at the demon, his expression a mix of defiance and irritation. "Are you satisfied now?" he asked hoarsely, his voice tinged with both anger and resignation.

Perry’s grin spread almost so widely across his face youd swore it wrapped around his entire head. “That was fucking HILARIOUS,” he broke into a psychotic laugh that had both the other two men quickly exchange glances. “Oh man, you should have seen the panic on your fuckin’ faces…Oh shit…that’s fucking classic,”

“You know what dick for brains, I don’t even give a flying fuck about the pay out anymore, keep it, get out of my fucking car,” the green haired man finally having enough hissed while unlocking the door and reaching over Perry to push it open and promptly began shoveling him out.

“Hey hey hey now!” Perry protested, fighting against the other’s actions as he gripped the handle above him. “Now that’s hardly fair, you basically didn’t have to do shit for this mission besides come with, drive and put up with us for a bit, dont you wanna come claim your prize at least? You can’t end it like this now Els…” using that snake like tone of his that got most people to fall for his conniving bullshit.

“No, get, the fuck…OUT, you have five seconds or I’m gonna start swingin’,” it was a bluff of course, not that Elex couldn’t handle a fight between the two of them, though admittedly it wouldnt go well against the electrician, he wasn’t scared to use physical violence. It was simply the sheer weight of his illness already on his shoulders making it impossible to find any strength in his core.

“Come on now Els…don’t be like that,” Perry pouted, shooting a quick glance in the red head’s direction he was silently asking for him to join in on the convincing part of this strategy. Alistar watched the scene unfold with a mixture of amusement and apprehension. He knew that Elex was not one to be trifled with, especially when he was already on the edge. Yet, Perry undeterred still looked to Al, a confident smirk playing on his lips as he tried to negotiate his way back into the car.

"Look, Elex, we had some fun, right? A little sneeze never hurt anyone," Alistar coaxed, inching closer in between the seats as if testing Elex's resolve.

"Besides, you know you want your cut of the job. We make a good team,” Perry cut in with a cheeky wink of his multi-colored eye.

Elex narrowed his eyes at the demon, his expression unreadable as he weighed his options. After a moment of tense silence, he let out a heavy sigh and relented, he HAD already made it this fair, thusly allowing Perry to settle back into the car. But his gaze held a warning that the electric wielder could not mistake.

"Fine," Elex muttered through gritted teeth, his hands returning to start the car back up and get back on the road. They drove in pure silence, minus the off sniffle or four from the badger as his fever began to run higher and his body throbbed with the need to be in bed. His brain screamed at him, every surface unclean, every breath was poison and fighting between the two was exhausting him past his limits.

Eventually, they pulled up to the drop off spot, and Elex screeched the car to a stop, deadpanning over to Perry as he spoke slow enough to not cause his throbbing head to ache anymore but steady enough to be understood. “Go in, drop it off, pick up the money, bring me my half, then uber the fuck home, got it?”

“Oooo so spicy, yeah yeah,” The electrician chuckled through his nose before stepping out of the vehicle, Alistar falling close behind.

“Think of me when you sneeze tonight, handsome,” the demon winked back at the green haired man. “And dont forget to hit my line if you wanna link up for that thing I mentioned earlier,” there was a curious sparkle behind the red head’s eyes, and it peaked Elex’s curiosity yet at the same time, annoyed him to no end.

“Ooooooouuuuut!” he shouted at the two of them who snickered in return as they saw themselves out and toward the entrance of the building. As the car door closed with a heavy thud, Elex was left alone in the vehicle. The silence enveloped him like a thick fog, amplifying the ache in his body and the persistent whispers in his mind. The voices seemed to grow louder, more insistent, “DIRTY….CONSUMED WITH GERMS…UNCLEAN! MUST WASH!”

His hands gripped his own thighs as he tried to get a grip on reality, his skin underneath sure to have bruises from the pressure. His breath came in short, ragged gasps as the panic began to set in. Images of germs crawling all over his skin flashed before his eyes, sending shivers down his spine. He could almost feel them, invisible yet suffocatingly real.

In a moment of desperation, Elex fumbled for his phone and dialed Sven's number. The line rang once, twice, before finally connecting.

"Sven," Elex's voice was hoarse, filled with a mix of fear and urgency. "I need you to come get me…please…” he couldnt explain further, he didnt want to break down in a fit of tears incase the other two men came back in the midst of it.

“Im on my way,” without any more words needing to be exchanged, the two hung up and Elex pushed his head back against the seat to try and center himself but the more he did, the louder his thoughts got and he couldnt remember the last time it was this bad.

Elex honestly also couldn't remember the last time he had felt this weak, sick, and anxious. The air conditioning felt like ice against his flushed skin, his pulse pounded in his ears like a drum, and his thoughts were racing. He could hear the soft sound of his own breaths, heavy and ragged with the effort of each inhale a few light stutters now and again to avoid another fit. With sweat pouring down his body, he wiped his brow with a trembling hand, praying Sven would arrive quickly.

As the car shook with every vibration of an approaching vehicle, Elex gripped the phone, trying to hold onto his sanity. In the distance, he could hear the faint hum of the two demons chattering as they approached the vehicle and the badger gained enough strength to roll down the passenger window, and lock the doors for extra precaution. Perry approached and tossed the large bundle of cash in the seat. “Here ya are bud,”

“Thanks,” Elex began to slowly roll the window back up before Perry stopped it with his hand.

“Wait seriously, no ride back?” the dragon looked a tad hurt by this, thinking surely the success of the mission would cheer the sickly badger up.

“No, my boyfriend’s coming to drive the car back, I feel like dog shit…walk, uber, fly, I dont give two flying fucks in the sky what you do, but Im not doing it,” choosing to continue rolling up the window despite Perry’s hand now, making the demon choose between crushing his own hand or giving up, he slid his fingers out of the way causing Elex to smirk a bit. The purple and green haired man scoffed, rolled his multi colored eyes, turned around and said something muffled to the red head behind him. The badger didnt care, he did what he needed to do, got the mark, got the money, now he just wanted Sven.

Gathering all his remaining strength, Elex dialed Sven's number once more. "Sven, it's me. Hurry," he whispered hoarsely, the desperation in his voice barely audible. With each passing minute, Elex's condition worsened. He snuffled, a wet and full sound that echoed the silent car. He groaned, but it was cut by a stuttering breath, he couldn’t resist it, his nose scrunched and his eye lids squeezed together. Without a passing moment the badger sneezed again, into the palms of his hands. “hdt’USSCHHIEWW!!! H'uSSHhhiew!” The vehicle shook on its suspension as the explosion racked the badger’s whole body. Particles of spit painting the flesh of his hands.

Elex groaned, letting his head fall back as he tried to collect himself. He sniffled, loudly, trying desperately hard to clear his full, swollen and reddened nose. “Why meeee?” He rolled his eyes back, just trying to center his breathing. The car trembled as he sat there, his heart pounding in his chest and his lungs straining for every breath. Sweat dripped down his face, stinging his eyes as he wiped them away. His head pounding like war drums while he focused his vision down at his hands. Trying to just stay present in the moment but once he looked down at his skin all he could see were the germs. Everywhere. The wet spots began to shift and transform. Crawling over his flesh and seeping into his pores. “Fuckin..STOP!” smacking his hands around, itching his arms now his whole body proceeded to tremble with the heebie jeebies. “UNCLEAN UNCLEAN UNCLEAN UNCLEAN,” the involuntary voices in his head began to chant, loudly, unescapable.

Finally, the distant rumble of an approaching vehicle grew louder, despite the slight relief it brought the badger, he still had to clap his hands over his ears. Trying what he could to find a semblance of rest from the torment. Sven. As soon as the engine cut off, he stumbled out of the car and made his way towards the driver's side window, taping the glass to get Elex’s attention.

"Elex?" Sven's voice was filled with concern as he saw the state his boyfriend was in. "What's wrong? What happened?” the badger slowly removed a hand from his head long enough to open the car door and rush out of the vehicle, wrapping his arms tightly around Sven’s torso and burying his face in his teal and orange locks, smelling deeply to receive a semblance of comfort. Sven immediately returned the embrace, holding tightly to his lover as his brows turned down in heavy concern. “Els?”

“Im sick…SNDdFf..and it’s…it’s bad..inside…” he couldnt make sense of any sentence he tried to form but he did his best between fighting the loudness inside his skull and seeking comfort in the body wrapped around him, silent tears starting to slip down his scarred cheeks. The cat began to run his fingers gently through the badger’s slightly dampened locks.

“Shhh…it’s okay, I’ll get us home,” Sven guided Elex to the passenger seat and helped him buckle up before rushing around to the driver's side. As they sped away from the scene, Elex kept his eyes closed, trying to block out the overwhelming sensations assaulting him. Sven drove with a sense of urgency, glancing over at Elex every few moments with worry etched into his features. He reached his hand out to lace his fingers between that of the other’s shaking ones.

Once they arrived home, Sven gently led Elex inside and settled him on the couch, fetching a cool washcloth and a glass of water. Elex clutched the washcloth to his forehead, his breathing slowly starting to even out as Sven sat beside him, offering a comforting presence, rubbing his back gently with the flattened palm of his hand.

"It's going to be okay, El," Sven murmured, his voice a soothing balm to Elex's frayed nerves. "Just focus on your breathing, in and out. I'm here with you, you’re okay, nothing is going to happen to you, okay?” slowly the voices began to soften, and started to be drowned out by that of the cat’s gentle one. The badger was finally beginning to feel the ease of his anxiety melt away, he took a deep breath in through his nose and out through his mouth and finally opened his tear filled eyes to look over at his boyfriend.

“Thank you…” he spoke barely above a whisper. Sven smiled softly at Elex’s downtrodden face, his eyes filled with compassion and relief.

"I'll always be here for you, no matter what. You're safe with me," he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to Elex's clammy forehead. The badger leaned into the touch, feeling the warmth and comfort that only Sven could bring him in those moments of overwhelming anxiety. He knew he was lucky to have someone so patient yet strong by his side, despite what a pain in the ass he could be as a person. He was grateful he had someone who understood his struggles and stood by him despite his egregious attitude.

As the night wore on, Sven stayed close to Elex, never once leaving his side. Showering him, getting him in bed, bringing him meds, soup, water the whole nine. There wasnt a care taking task left unmarked as the cat waited on his lover hand and foot while the badger lay practically comatose and leaking from his nose. Sven sat by the sickly man on the other side of the bed, the soft glow of the bedside lamp casting a warm light over the room. The night had deepened, and a hush had settled over the house. Elex's breathing had steadied, his fever breaking as his body finally succumbed to much-needed rest. Sven watched over him with a tenderness until he too could no longer fight the sleep that over took him, his arms wrapping around the other protectively.

The End

Authors Notes: I’m sorry there’s no smut 🫣 Don’t shoot! 🫣 but it was still fun, funny, sneezy and fluffy. 🥰🫶🏻 hope you guys enjoyed! I love feedback as well! Thanks for putting up with the dry spells til I get the chance to feed you all. 😂

[cawdra]

Good question, @avvielalame-blog

GATHER 'ROUND, FOR I HAVE A STORY TO TELL ABOUT MY WEIRD HOSPITAL OPIOID TRIP THAT MADE ME HALLUCINATE NEW GOOD OMENS EPISODES:

Last year I went to the hospital. It was some cyst (idk the medical lingo), and it was painful af. They gave me some sort of strong opioid (again, no idea what the medical lingo is, but I think it was Buprensomethingsomething). Mind you, I was on antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds, but I hadn't taken them for almost a week, cuz I couldn't get out of my bed the whole time (before I eventually went to the hospital). I told them I was off that medication, and because the prescription is pretty old, they gave me the painkillers. TURNS OUT THE FUCKING MEDS WERE NOT OUT OF MY SYSTEM YET!!! So uhhh... yeah.

(If you don't know, mixing these two things can be very dangerous because they can raise dopamine levels too high or something, which is INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS!!! I'm a pretty large person, so this didn't hit me that hard (and also I was off the meds for longer than 24 hours), but if I was slightly less of a fatass and more of a responsible medicine taker, I might have actually been comatosed.)

Anyway, I was riding high that night. I didn't have anything else to do, so after seeing a good omens edit, my first thought was, "That seems gay. I'm in." So I turned on Prime and watched it all in one night. It's not like I was going to sleep in a ward full of screaming people anyway, so might as well make the most of it. The nurses told me to sleep, but I told them I wasn't sleepy, so they just gave me my antibiotics and, whatever else, took my temp and walked out. Did they care about the gay shit I was watching on my phone? No, they've seen worse.

Anyway, I watched the show, ugly cried for like an hour (harder than I did from the cyst that was torturing me for about a week), and then went to sleep at around 2 pm. When I woke up, I, as a responsible queer, decided to rant about it to my friends. After telling them all those things, one of my friends (who actually watched the show with his sister) said, "Are you sure the anesthesia didn't scramble your brain, cuz none of that happened lol."

When I tell you I was DEVISTATED!!! Literally a "You... you serious?" moment. Cried almost as much as I did at the ending.

Also, if you want to know: I had a dream about how the Ineffable Husbands teamed up with some nun (who was as much of a nun as she was a saint - only on a technicality) and they made her carry the Second Coming, which eventually got her kicked off the nunnery of whatever cuz 'These days, if you get pregnant as a nun, you won't be called ‘The Virgin Sarah’ or ‘The Virgin Linda’. You will be called ‘a common whore’. So much for being a virgin.' (Quote from my fanfic (and the weird opioid trip).

I don't know what the rest of the dream was because Mr. Party Pooper (aka my friend JK Juno ily (^з^)-☆) cut me off because I was talking nonsense.

Long story short, the painkillers got out of my system, I took my meds, renewed the prescription, and went on my still-on-going recovery journey.

Did I suffer two heartbreaks in less than 12 hours? Yes. Were they worth it? Eh. I mean, it inspired my fanfic, but wasn't THAT worth it. Did I enjoy my trip? No, I threw up, had diarrhea, and then constipation for two weeks.

I still get an awful surprise when I rewatch Good Omens for a specific scene, only to find out AGAIN that I was just hallucinating.

Moral of the story - don't do drugs and be honest with your doctors and nurses cuz you might actually die.

Anyways, TOODLES!!1!!111!!!

~ CAwdra

[kitkat-the-muffin]

For a while I rationalized the existence of the Homestuck Epilogues just cause I like Davekat and I just wanted to accept them being canon even if it also meant accepting tons and tons of character assassination and a terrible storyline

But honestly it’s time I take off the shipping goggles and acknowledge that all of the Epilogues is a mess, including my favorite ship content. They, like everyone else, are out of character and are making decisions that they’d never do

Roxy, who once threw a whole funeral for a cat, would never show disrespect at the death of one of her best friends

Jade would never prioritize invading other peoples relationships when she could be enjoying the company of her family and friends

John would never sit back and accept his fate, whether it be straight up dying or living a life of mundanity, if it meant he’d be miserable with it

Jake would never let people use him for their own gain (again), Dirk would never manipulate people (not after his character arc geez guys), Rose would never give up the chance to fix a problem herself, Kanaya would never leave her wife to suffer alone, Jane would never become the next Condesce, etc, etc.

And despite my rationalization of the Davekat scene through my shipping goggles, I have to admit that Dave would never jump headfirst into both a crush and relationship, especially when you account for his trauma. At the very least, he wouldn’t confess to having a crush without blabbering on about his anxieties first, likely coming out in the middle of a rant on accident (don’t deny it, you know he would) in the same way he accidentally calls Jane “John’s hot grandma.” He’d probably say something like “I’m going through a bisexual crisis, a bi-sis if you will- oh yeah I’m bi by the way, hahah bi-by like bye-bye which is what I should be doing before I embarrass myself further ok bye”

I can see him saying all that ^ more than I can see him downing a ton of alcohol and kissing his crush as if he was in some sort of romcom. Homestuck’s always been really good at deviating from tropes and making the characters feel more like real people, and real people don’t succumb to romcom scenarios. Karkat would smack the romcom out of Dave long before ever succumbing to his own romantic fantasies (It’s like, say you always wanted to be a fairy princess but once you actually turn into one you’re like “uhhh what this is so unrealistic and kind of uncomfortable...” Idk bad example). The point is that no one actually wants to be in a romcom, they just want some of those romantic events like singing songs and having deep emotional conversations, but not suddenly kissing each other after screaming at the fourth wall that’s for sure

Karkat is knowledgable enough in romcoms to know when he’s in one, and you know as hell he won’t give into a cheap narrative like that. Karkat’s never been one to let fate strangle him into submission, he wouldn’t have survived to 6 sweeps on Alternia if he had. Also, he has no interest in politics, not after the whole Gamzee thing anyway, and while I do think Karkat cares a lot for Dave and would want to make him happy, he surely wouldn’t do so by running for President. Karkat’s the kind of person who shows affection with little actions, like drawing with chalk or listening to music. You know, quality time

And I think it’s time that I woke up from my own romcom fantasy and realized that while I want these characters to have a happy ending, this just isn’t them in the first place

I’d like to hear some thoughts from non-davekat shippers on the subject. Nothing anti-davekat I mean, more like some opinions from people who are davekat-indifferent. How did this character development affect readers without red-tinted shipping goggles?

[charmwasjess]

It's been a long week already, so why not a little WIP Wednesday??

From a later chapter of my tropey old school whump romance, Rabbit Heart, set during Dooku's training Rael era. Spoilers, obviously, for Rabbit Heart.

Click for a little Dooku and Rael and Sifo-Dyas.

“Sy!” Rael threw himself at the seer, leaping onto the bed. 

“Rael!” Sifo-Dyas opened his arms and the boy slammed into his chest, hugging him fiercely. “--Oof!” He winced and turned it into a laugh, tightening his arms around him and giving him a little shake.

“Knight Sifo-Dyas,” Dooku corrected his apprentice on the informality, and received twin looks of complete disregard from the pair.

“Are you doing better?” Rael asked. 

“Hmm, that’s a good question.” Sifo-Dyas grinned through his split lip. “Not sure. How do I look?” 

Rael pulled back to scrutinize him. He frowned. “To be honest? Really damn bad.”

“Rael!” Dooku did not enjoy how his usually measured voice came out as half a yelp. 

Sifo-Dyas snorted a laugh. “Okay, well, I guess I’m still working on the getting better part.” 

“So does that mean we can’t spar while you’re here?” 

“That’s right.” Dooku cut in sternly. These two had him feeling like a sour magistrate ruling an anti-fun regime, but someone should remind Sifo-Dyas that he was terribly injured and traumatized and supposed to be taking it easy. “Rael, Knight Sifo-Dyas has been through an ordeal. He needs a lot of rest and quiet over the next few days. I don’t want you coming in here and bothering him at all hours. And absolutely no sparring.” He said it for the both of them, although he realized the irony in the fact of him trying to keep someone from lightsaber play. 

“I don’t mind Rael visiting,” Sifo-Dyas waved away all of Dooku’s Masterly authority with a slim dark hand. “I’ll be bored if I have to stay in here by myself for the whole recovery.” He turned back to Rael. “We can play Dejarik!” 

“There’s not a board here,” Rael pointed out sadly. “There’s nothing interesting here.”

“I’m certain that we can find something fun to do. This temple is supposed to be one of the oldest and strangest in the Order. Once I’m back on my feet, we can explore together.” 

The Padawan studied Sifo-Dyas again, and Dooku could feel him looking with the Force, too. “What happened to you, anyway? Master Dooku said you had a vision.” He shot Dooku a dark look, as if providing him with misinformation about Sifo-Dyas was just one of his many crimes. “But you’re all beat up.”

“Rael!” Dooku caught himself sputtering again. His heart constricted.

This child.

At his age, Dooku had been compulsively anxious to say the right thing, worrying if the questions he asked were stupid or presumptuous, and keeping quiet if he wasn’t sure. By contrast, Rael usually blurted out the very first thoughts that came into his head the very moment they entered his mind. In that way, he was more genuine than Dooku. Less controlled by self doubt and anxiety, always curious and willing to say so. But it also led to very awkward, uncomfortable moments. Like now.

Of course, Sifo-Dyas wasn’t rattled by the prying. He met Dooku's eyes blithely. “It’s okay, Doo. I don’t mind telling him.” 

Dooku stared back at his friend with increasing dismay. He wasn’t sure Sifo-Dyas even knew the extent of the violence that had happened to him, let alone in an appropriate way to tell a child who had just turned twelve. 

[candys-writing-blog]

Chapter 2 of my Animal HRT story

View the full Google doc here.

Chapter 2

The morning light filtered into my bedroom through the pride flags draped over my windows, giving the sunshine a tint of rainbow colors barely noticeable to the naked eye. I lay face-down on the bottom mattress of my bunk bed, one hand gripping the sheets, the other still resting on the snooze button of my alarm clock. Man, what a crazy dream. I thought as I sighed, before rolling out of bed. 

I stood up and stretched before grabbing my phone off of my desk. I skimmed through my notifications, stepping over the dirty clothes and assorted junk scattered around my bedroom floor as I walked out my door, across the hall, and into the bathroom to take my morning pills. I looked at myself in the mirror when I got there. My blueish-grey eyes, pale skin, and dirty blonde hair looked the same as they always had. My hair had gotten to about shoulder-blade length in the two years I’d let it grow out, helping me fit more into the feminine look I’ve longed for.

I rubbed my hand over my chin, feeling the little hairs beginning to poke out from my pores. Ugh, gotta shave again. I thought as I reached for my razor. I arched my neck back to stretch the skin before I started shaving. The dark little hairs falling away as I drag the blade against the grain of my stubble. 

As I got into the repetitive motions of shaving, I began to think back on the dream I’d just awoken from. It seemed so real I thought as I pulled the razor up over my jaw. I could almost hear the clanging of the weapons, and feel the rush of air through my fur. I could imagine that the razor in my hand was the tip of my opponent’s sword, barely grazing and trimming my whiskers as I dodged. Or perhaps, it was my own sword, swinging at the foe ahead of me, each thrust with the steel blade bringing me closer towards them, dragging my paws through the dirt below me as I readied the deadly weapon to draw my opponent’s blood- “OW!”

With a sting of pain, I dropped the razor into the sink below me. A trickle of blood began to drip from the small cut on my cheek. Great. I thought as I reached for the box of tissues on the cluttered marble countertop. I tore the corner off one and stuck it on the small cut. I took a few more seconds to run my hand over my now smooth face, making sure I hadn’t missed a spot before I had cut myself. I then stepped back to look over my body in the mirror.

My belly was still noticeably chubby, much more so than I would have liked, but the small feminine bumps on my chest were finally starting to make themselves known, so at least a little bit of the chub’s been redistributed. I could also see a bit of pinching inwards around my waist, which boosted my spirits quite a bit! I’d known I was a woman for a while now, but I was finally beginning to look like one too. Hah, take THAT dysphoria! I thought with a smirk. The smirk quickly faded when I spied the little piece of tissue on my cheek, a bit of blood starting to soak through it. I really need to get more shaving cream. I thought with a sigh.

Shaking my head slightly, I picked up my pill case and dumped today’s contents into the palm of my hand. Two anti-anxieties, one anti-boy-otic, I thought as I tossed the pills into my mouth, washing them down with a swig of water. And finally, one tit-tac. I chuckled as I looked down at the little blue pill between my fingers, before gingerly placing it under my tongue. With a final look in the mirror, I opened the door and started back towards my room to get dressed for class.

I threw on a pair of black leggings, a cute pink skirt, a pair of trans flag thigh highs, a teal V-neck tee shirt, and a long-sleeved pink flannel shirt overtop. I then buckled my pink fanny pack around my waist, put on a sparkling Citrine necklace, stuck my “Please use She/Her Pronouns” pin on my shirt, and put on my pink and blue glasses. I slid my phone and my wallet into the fanny pack, and with a flick of my hand to get the hair out of my face, I headed out of my room and down the stairs.

“Morning,” I said to my mom as I walked into the kitchen. She was sitting at the table, drinking her morning coffee, and tapping away at her phone, no doubt playing that dumb cooking game of hers, as per usual. “Well, someone’s up early.” Mom said, not even lifting her eyes from her phone. “Early enough to have some breakfast before running out the door?” 

“Actually, I woke up on time today,” I said, opening the fridge. “That old digital alarm clock you found in the basement managed to do the trick. And yes, I will be having some breakfast.” I grabbed a pre-packaged breakfast sandwich from the fridge, removed the wrapper, and tossed it in the microwave for a couple of minutes.

“Have some fruit too,” my mom said, still playing her game. “We got some grapes a few days ago, and nobody’s eaten them yet. I don’t want them going bad.” “Sure thing,” I said, opening the fridge back up and grabbing some grapes out of the fruit drawer. “Y’know,” I said, popping a grape into my mouth, “That alarm clock interrupted a really interesting dream of mine.”

“Oh, yeah?” My mom asked, still playing her game.

“Yeah, I’d dreamt that I was my character, Krystal,” I said, leaning back on the fridge. “Y’know, from that story I’m writing?”

“Uh-huh,” she said, nodding her head, not looking up from her phone.

“It seemed so real. As though I could feel the sun on my fur, the breeze on my tail, the dirt under my paws.”

“Mhm,” Mom said, still tapping away at her phone’s screen.

“Yeah…” I tossed another grape into my mouth and chewed it thoughtfully. “I was fighting in some sort of medieval tournament,” I said with the chewed-up grape muffling my speech. I swallowed before continuing. “I was fighting this wolf guy. He was using a sword, and I was using a mace, and I won! The king was gonna have a feast in my honor at the castle, but then-”

“OH, GOD DAMMIT!!” my mom shouted, making me jump.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, concerned.

“Nothing, nothing,” she replied. “I just messed up this guy’s order and failed the level. What were you talking about, Andrew?”

A pang of hurt stabbed through my chest at the sound of that name. A name that was no longer my own. A name that I never wanted to hear again. “N-Nothing, mom,” I said, looking down at the floor. “Absolutely nothing…”

Beep!                   Beep!                   Beep!                   Beep!

I opened the microwave and pulled out my breakfast sandwich, walked over to the living room where I sat down on our blue faux leather couch, and turned the TV onto the news channel, intending to check the weather as I ate. I guess I’ll watch and see what’s going on in the world today too. I thought as I took a bite from my sandwich. Let’s see… War in a foreign country, the threat of nuclear war, presidential debate between horrible person A and horrible person B, Natural Disaster, Man-made Disaster, yada, yada, yada… 

When it became obvious that the weather wasn’t going to be on for a while, I pulled out my phone and checked social media as I ate. I looked at memes and art and scrolled past the usual hate and drama and some weirdo conspiracies about scientists putting chemicals in vaccines to turn people into monsters. The usual internet nonsense, until something on the TV caught my attention.

“Last night, the remains of one Paula Jankens were found in the Pymatuning Reservoir, just off the shore from Jamestown, PA. Paula, who had been missing for two days before her recovery, was a 16-year-old transgender girl who called Jamestown her home. Authorities say there is no doubt in their minds that this was a murder, and that they are currently suspecting a hate crime as a motive. Reports say that Paula was found to have been dismembered, and her remains were scattered in the lake in an attempt to hide the evidence. Her parents-”

I turned off the TV, shaking. Another trans girl, murdered, and so close to my home… I thought, the fear rising in my chest. That… that could have been me. That poor girl… She was just like me, and I could be next! For a few minutes, I sat there on the couch, in complete silence. Frozen, without moving a muscle. Something that I notoriously have a very difficult time doing, silently panicking, my breath coming in quick bursts as my mind races at a million miles per hour. Rage, fear, sadness, anxiety, disgust, and dysphoria all rampaging through my head, tearing the place up as I sat there, unmoving. Completely tuned out from the outside world until-

“HEY!” my mom shouted, clapping her hands in front of me. “Are you okay? You’re gonna be late for class at this rate.” “Uh, y-yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I just need to go brush my teeth.” My mom walked back to the kitchen table, saying something, but I wasn’t listening. I stood up and made my way back up the stairs to my bathroom, placing my hands on the counter and staring at my reflection in the mirror, only to see *him* looking back at me. The person I’d been trying to escape from for so long now. I shut my eyes and lowered my head, trying to ignore my reflection. I’m not him, and he’s not me, so why do I still see him???

With a sigh, I reached for the bottle of pills on the counter—the hard stuff, for emergencies only, when you’re actively panicking. I tossed one in my mouth and washed it down with a cup of water. Taking a deep breath, I stood up straight, and while avoiding eye contact with the mirror, I grabbed my toothbrush, brushed my teeth, swished some mouthwash around for thirty seconds, spat it out, and headed back downstairs.

I slipped on my Hot Pink Conberse shoes and grabbed my backpack off of the banister before opening the front door. “Mom, I’m headed out!” I shouted over my shoulder. “Okay, have a good day!” her voice responded from the Living room. Closing the door, I walked outside and stopped momentarily to smell the fresh air, before getting into the front seat of my car. Closing the door, I shut my eyes and did some deep breathing for a good twenty to thirty seconds. I then pulled out my phone, plugged it into the car, turned on my playlist, and started the engine. Little did I know, that if I had waited in the doorway for just a few moments more, I would have heard a very interesting news report. 

“And now for something seemingly straight out of a Sci-fi movie. a select number of clinics in major cities have begun to offer a new kind of hormone treatment for those who don’t feel comfortable in their own skin. Here’s Jonah with the report.”

Dedicated to 

Pauly A. Likens

Rest in Power

2009-2024

Thank you for reading! (^w^) If you enjoyed this and wanna see more, you can check out the doc that I'm writing here! (You'll also be able to see the fun stuff I did with the fonts there)

I hope you enjoyed, and please feel free to leave any comments on the doc or in the replies here. I WANT FEEDBACK, PEOPLE!!!

Thank you again for reading, and have a wonderful rest of your day! :3

[altr5312916195]

Egotober Day Six - Bubbles - Darkiplier, Marvin, Jackie-Boy, Kos

Darkiplier entered Marvin’s room again, Kos looked up at him. “All set?” He asked. “Everyone’s settled in the house.” Dark went back to the crystal ball, summoning up an image of IRIS with ease now. It appeared Marvin had Anti subdued. His behavior was erratic, feral. He never saw something so human act like a creature. It filled him with dread. “Drop the barrier.” Dark said. 

Kos loomed over the cauldron, he had already ransacked Marvin’s supplies and gathered what he needed. Tossing handfuls of herbs, and dripping oils into the already bubbling pot until it boiled over. Kos backed up for a moment, allowing the spell to pop loudly. The beacon dissolved into bubbles covering the table in the mess. 

The two sat in silence only for a few moments before Marvin, Jack, Henrik, and Anti clattered into the room through Marvin’s portal. Henrik leaned limply against Jack, while Marvin struggled to get Anti back down to the ground.

Dark raised his hands and his red magic brought Anti down to his knees with ease. “He’s not adept at magic, is he?” Dark asked. Marvin huffed, not letting his hold on Anti’s shirt go. “Not at the moment.” Dark nodded, folding his glowing hands together. 

“Is this the King of Raspy Hill Henrik talks so highly of?” Anti asked. “That’d be me.” Kos stood next to Dark. “Dark is more of a research assistant.” Dark lowered himself, looking closer at Anti. “What are you?” He reached out for him, Anti struggled to get away from his reach, and when he couldn’t he resorted to attempting to bite the entity. Dark’s face scrunched in disgust, he flicked his hand sending a blast of red energy at Anti’s face, knocking him back. 

“His energy is almost radioactive.” Dark said, standing up straight. “IRIS calls it Antimatter.” Marvin said. Dark nodded. “Right, Henrik’s evil research cult. It makes sense he came from their labs.” “That’s not what they are.” Jack said, moving the lay Henrik down on Marvin’s bed, avoiding nearing Anti any chance he could. “They’re the leading researchers in technology, and in my time they're a reputable business.” Dark rolled his. “Thank you for that, hero..” Jack threw Dark a look, but held his tonngue, quietly accepting the underminding Dark often threw at him.

“Dark..” Both Marvin and Kos piped up in Jack’s defense. “You think you know everything, huh?” Anti looked up at Dark. The entity glared down at Anti. “I tend to.” “But you’re not in charge?” Anti scoffed. “Dark, don’t listen to him, he’s trying to get in your head. He feeds on anxiety and insecurity.” Marvin told him. “Do you have anything in your little book about Anti?” He asked. “Not much, but Henrik’s given me his notes.” Marvin went over to his shelf, pulling his book of Raspy Hill out along with one of Henrik’s composition notebooks. 

“And what of Henrik?” Kos leaned over Henrik, looking at his eyes. They seemed distant, unobserving. Kos reached for his wrist and dropped it quickly when he yelped in pain, the strings shocking him. “That would be Anti’s doing.” Jack said. “How do we get it off of him?” Dark stepped around Anti, looking at the strings on Henrik. 

“I can’t get them off of him, that’s his doing. If he can’t let go of his fear then he’ll be tied to me, just like Chase.” Dark looked over his shoulder at Anti. “Chase doesn’t have strings.” Anti looked up at Dark, and hummed in question. Dark looked at Marvin. “Can he control them?” Marvin nodded. His face paled and his voice lowered. “Chase is with Yani and Wilford.” Marvin’s eyes widened at this.

By all standards, Yani was Dark’s kid. He took care of her, he put her to bed every night and got her ready in the mornings. She went to him when she was sick and having nightmares. But overall, she was the baby of Raspy Hill. Bing and her constantly left the living rooms covered in pillow forts, Marvin went days with eyeliner that Yani drew on him, the only other ego to have helped Jameson in the garden was her. She was untouched by any of the horrors the Egos had been through before Raspy Hill, and Dark would do everything in his power to keep her safe. 

Anti was all smiles, watching Marvin and Dark. “Something wrong?

[hyunjins-orange-slice-too]

Regally Smitten

chapter 3: the sweating sickness

chapter word count: ~3.4k

synopsis: A future king and his servant are bound by their forbidden love. With the odds stacked against them, and a jealous brother out for blood, will their love prevail? Or will history repeat itself?

warnings: homophobia (specifically religious homophobia, this is a period piece so these beliefs are a reflection of the time period being portrayed, and the characters themselves, and do not reflect my personal beliefs. please read with caution and remember to take care of yourself. ily.) descriptions of violence, main character injury (no main character death), foul language, suggestive themes, brief mentions of anxiety, depression, and panic attacks. one mention of suicidal thoughts (but no action)

disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and in no way represents any member of stray kids in reality. this is a fanfiction and should be treated as such. this is not me “shipping” them, these are simply characters based on real life people. i don’t need the minsung antis coming for me.

series masterlist • main masterlist

The following weeks at the castle were.. awkward to say the least. Han continued his squire duties, but kept the contact with the prince to a minimum. They hadn’t really exchanged many words since their return to the kingdom. Han had realized he had overstepped his bounds by kissing the prince, and was just glad to still have his job. And Hyunjin was pretty upset when he found out.

"You did WHAT?" Hyunjin whisper yelled across their small room in the basement.

"I was lost." Han tried to explain. "He was so close and looking into my eyes and.. hyun, he's so handsome." Han was talking animatedly with his hands.

"I thought we agreed we wouldn’t let it get this far." Hyunjin scolded. "He’s the prince, Han. He’s literal royalty. And you’re living in a basement closet."

"I know!" Han threw himself back on his mattress, his hands balled into fists and pressed into his eyes. "there’s more.."

"There’s more? what do you mean there’s more? This is bad enough."

"He’s getting married." Han mumbled.

Hyunjin was quiet, processing. Han had been bringing Hyunjin to silence a lot these days and he didn’t like it.

"Well.. maybe thats a good thing." he finally said.

Han peeked at Hyunjin from under his fists.

"Hannie.. I know that you really like him and this is hard. I know it hurts. But this relationship between you two can’t happen. It just can’t. And if he’s getting married, then that means it will put an end to it. And that’s for the better. I promise." Hyunjin’s voice was soft. His heart really hurt for Han. And he kind of hated the prince for playing with his best friends emotions like this. How dare he kiss his squire and leave him a mess like this. Hyunjin would march up to the prince's chambers and put him in his place, but he prefered his head remain firmly attached to his body.

"He’s been talking about running away." Han said.

"Before or after he found out about his arranged marriage?"

"Well.." Han took a deep breath. "Both. Kind of." He looked over at Hyunjin. "He talked about it in length the night we were along the riverbank. The night he tried to hold my hand. And then he briefly mentioned it before he.. uh.. before he kissed me."

"Han.. I don’t like this." Hyunjin said. "I don’t think you should get your hopes up. I know it’s hard, but you just need to let it go."

"I can’t.." Han’s voice broke. Hyunjin crossed the room and pulled Han into a hug. "Go ahead and cry it all out. But you can’t entertain this idea of running away with him. He has a job to do and that’s to run a kingdom and produce little heirs to run the kingdom after him. He’s not going to run away with his servant."

Han pulled back, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. "Harsh, hyune."

"Harsh but the truth. I just dont want you to get hurt more than you already are." Hyunjin wiped some of Han’s stray tears with his fingertips. "Now, pull yourself together. It’s time to go to work."

----

Han bustled around Minho’s chambers, cleaning things up. He could hear the prince in his changing room, bathing. But unlike last time, Han had filled the tub, made sure the prince had anything he could possibly need, and then exited the room before Minho entered the water.

A moment later, the prince exited the changing room. He was dressed, albeit barely. He had his trousers on, unfastened, and his undershirt on, also unfastened. His wet hair dripped onto the floor. His bare feet padded across the cold stone, before he sat on the edge of his bed to pull his boots on.

Han tried not to look too long. Tried not to remember the way the prince's lips felt against his own. Tried not to listen to his heart when it called out to Minho. He tried to hurriedly finish what he was doing so that he could leave the room, leave this awkward thick air that hung about their heads.

"Han.. I just wanted to say--" the prince started but was quickly interrupted.

There was a loud, urgent knocking on the chamber door. "Your Grace." a man called from outside.

Minho looked at Han and nodded. Han made his way over to the door, the incessant knocking never stopping, even for a second. Han gently opened the door and the man barged in. It was James. He bowed quickly. "Your Grace, I’m sorry for the intrusion. But you need to come quickly. It’s your father."

James looked worried. Minho pulled on his boots in a haste and followed James out of the room, his laces dragging the floor. Han was unsure of what to do. What was the protocol in this situation? Does he follow? Or does he stay? He decided to follow. Just in case he was needed. If they wanted him to go, they would tell him so. He pulled the door to Minho’s chamber shut behind him and shuffled down the hallway toward the king's chamber.

Everyone was gathered around Heinrich's bed. A guard was posted outside the door to the chamber, and the huge man would not let Han pass.

Minhho stood next to his brother, looking down at his father. His large, sweaty frame took up most of the bed, his breathing ragged. "It’s the sweating sickness" the healer said. Minho had known that his father hadn’t been feeling the best. He had developed a slight cough on their way back from Westwood. They weren’t initially worried, but it seems his condition had seriously worsened. The king reached for Minho.

"Son, I fear my time is coming to an end." He rasped. "Your time has come to lead these people." Minho nodded. Heinrich had always been a cruel man, so Minho couldn’t say he was terribly saddened at his fathers state, but he was still his father. And Minho wasn’t ready to be king. Of that, he was terrified.

"Father," Rian spoke up. "Minho can’t be king."

Heinrich coughed and wheezed. "He can and he will. He is ready. He has to be. He will have a queen soon enough and he will do his best not to fuck it up." The king pointed his gaze at Minho.

"Yes father." Minho said quietly.

And as the healer left the room, Han heard him mutter to the guard that the king wouldn’t make it through the night.

--

The next few days were a blur. Minho was hardly ever in his chambers. The king had a most extravagant funeral, the bells tolling for hours as the people mourned their loss. There was a large feast that night, and the following day, prince Minho unofficially became king Minho.

When Minho sat on the throne for the first time, it felt foreign and wrong. And if he was honest, it still felt that way. The council was planning his coronation and his future wife, Astrid, was on her way to the palace from Westwood. Minho had so many questions and so many things to worry about, but all he found himself thinking about was Han. How this would change Han’s life. Would Han still be his squire now that he was king? Or would he be appointed a new one? And now he had to share Han with Lady Astrid? That thought made him angry for some reason. He did not wish to share his squire with anyone. Though they barely talked these days, Han’s presence was still a comfort to Minho. And now Lady Astrid would come in and fuck things up. How was he supposed to marry a woman he didn’t know? Minho knew this was common practice. It was a marriage born out of politics, not out of love. Minho wondered if that could be his first change as king. Could he marry for love instead? He knew the answer. Even if he were able to change the practice, he would never be allowed to marry the one he truly wants to marry. The council would never allow it and neither would his people.

His thoughts were interrupted by his brother entering the throne room. His brother approached the dias, walking confidently, like the prince he is. But he walked in such a way that let everyone know he was a prince and to not mess with him. He seemed the type to fly off the handle easily. Yes, Minho knew that Rian's apple didnt fall far from his fathers tree.

"Brother." Rian said, flippantly.

Minnho was in no mood for this, already agitated about his impending marriage to the wrong person. "That’s king, to you." Minho said, looking down on Rian at the bottom step of the dais. "You would be smart to remember that."

Rian made an exaggerated show of bowing before his brother. A bow that was much too deep, his hair almost touching the floor. "My apologies, your grace." he said, before straightening and approaching the throne. He sat in the empty chair next to Minho, both men looking out upon the throne room that was bustling with servants working to get the space ready for all the royal events that were quickly approaching.

"You know you can’t handle this, brother." Rian said, quietly. "You’re too soft. Always have been."

"I will manage just fine." Minho said through his teeth. "There’s no need to be a barbarian. I will not rule like father did."

"Then you will loose this throne quickly, I’m afraid." Rian let out an exaggerated sigh. "The first brave man with half an army will take it from you."

Minho looked to his brother. "No army is greater than the royal army. They would never get past the gates."

"Ah. I guess you’re right, brother." Rian stood to leave, but not before leaning down to whisper in Minho's ear. "but what will you do if they’re already inside the gates?"

Rian trotted down the dias steps and exited the throne room, pushing servants out of his way as he went.

----

Lady Astrid's arrival was a sight to see. The townspeople gathered along the sides of the streets as her carriage made way, cheering for their new future queen. Everyone in the capital was excited about a royal wedding, having just gotten over a royal funeral. everyone was ready for a happy event. But Minho knew it would be no happy event for him. It may, in fact, be the worst day of his life.

Her carriage was pulled by four white horses, their manes woven with colorful flowers. Minho stood at the top of the steps to the palace along with his bother, his mother, and his squire. Han stood off to the side and watched as Lady Astrid exited the carriage with the help of one of her guards. Her dress was a pale pink, and long. It was backless and embroidered with flowers.

"Man they really lean into the flower bullshit, Don’t they?" Rian mumbled under his breath.

"Hush." Minho ordered.

"But she sure is hot." Rian said, choosing to ignore his kings order of silence.

Minho's future bride was indeed beautiful. He knew that. Everyone with eyes knew that. But what they didn’t know was that Minho, though he did in fact have eyes, only had eyes for one person. And it wasnt Astrid.

She slowly climbed the steps, taking in her surroundings. She stopped in front of Minho and curtsied. "Your Grace." she said, with a smile on her face. She then turned to the queen mother and Rian and did the same.

"Hello, my lady." Rian greeted her. "Welcome to your new home."

Minho knew he should say something. This is his future bride and everyone was watching. But all he could think about was Han. He could feel his presence behind him. Minho's already broken heart was shattering more at the thought of being wed to this woman that he had spent no time with at all. That he had no feelings toward at all, romantic or ill. He tried to think of something to say, but his mouth was dry, his tongue heavy.

Astrid looked at him, still smiling. "It really is a beautiful home, Your Grace."

Minho was frozen. His mind screaming at him to say something, anything, before he made a fool of himself. Though he feared that ship had sailed. What kind of king can’t even speak to his future queen? Maybe Rian was right. Maybe Minho couldn’t do this.

Minho looked over his shoulder at Han. There was sadness in his eyes but he smiled anyway, nodding at Minho, encouraging him.

"Uh.. come my lady." Minho managed, holding his arm out to Astrid. "Let me show you around."

----

Han followed behind the couple as they wandered around the castle. Minho felt like he needed Han there in order to follow through with this, but at the same time, that felt cruel. To force Han to watch him as he courted another. Though Minho sometimes thought that maybe Han didn’t feel the same way about his prince- rather, his king, that his king felt about him. Maybe Han didn’t care at all that Minho was getting married. Maybe Han was glad.

No, Minho couldn’t believe that. He felt that kiss too. Felt the energy between them as they held one another, heard his name fall in a sigh from Han’s lips. That all meant something, it had to. But Minho hadn’t had the chance to bring it up to Han. More so, Minho hadn’t had the bravery to bring it up to Han. He couldn’t imagine what his squire might think of him.

As they approached the throne room, Minho turned to to his squire. "Han, would you please return to my chambers and make sure Lady Astrid's things are sorted?" Minho didn’t want Han to go, but also didnt want to torture him any further.

Han bowed. "Yes, Your Grace." he said, before he quickly walked away in the direction of Minho's tower. Minho had to force his eyes away from Han’s retreating frame, and focus them back on Astrid.

"So this is the throne room." Minho said, gesturing to the large room.

Astrid clapped excitedly. "Oh this is where we will be married?"

Minho's stomach turned. But he forced a smile. "Yes, my lady."

----

Han started unpacking Lady Astrid's belongings, though she didnt have many. Han thought she was a sweet girl, and very beautiful. She was raised in a good family. She would make a great queen. She was a perfect match for Minho. The one he should marry. The perfect, doting, silent wife. And they will be happy and make lots of little Minho’s so that one day they may be king too. Han couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Han couldn’t sleep at night, thinking about it. How Minho's lips felt against his own and how he knew they would be pressed against Lady Astrid instead. This made Han jealous. But he must not give in to these thoughts. He honestly thought about asking his superior if he could switch positions. But he knew the follow up question would be, why? And what would Han say to that? Oh sorry, im just in love with king Minho and it hurts my fragile little heart to see him with another? No, that would never work. He just needed to suck it up.

Han was laying out Lady Astrid's hairbrush in the changing room when he heard the chamber door open and shut.

"I can’t fucking do this." he heard Minho say, before a sound that Han thought was Minho flopping down on his bed.

Han cautiously exited the changing room. "Your Grace?" he asked.

Minho's head jerked up. And when he looked at Han, his eyes were bloodshot. He looked broken.

"Oh, sorry Han. I thought you had gone already." Minho sat up, trying to collect himself and look more.. kingly.

"That’s quite alright, Your Grace. I’ll just be going." Han headed for the door but Minho stood and grabbed him gently on the arm.

"Wait." he said, his voice sounding unsure. And Minho was unsure. He had no idea what he was doing, no idea what he was going to say, all he knew was he didn’t want Han to go.

Han turned to him, his eyes questioning.

Minho quickly let go of his arm. "I’m sorry, I shouldn’t grab you. I just--"

He looked at Han for a moment, and couldn’t form the words. Minho sighed, exasperated. He turned and strode back to the bed, sitting on the edge and dropping his head into his hands. Han didn’t know what to do in this moment. What was the protocol here? He supposed he should just wait for further instruction.

"Han, I can’t do this." Minho mumbled into his hands.

"Do what, Your Grace?" Han asked.

Minho looked up at Han, his eyes now brimming with tears. "Marry her. Be king. Be.. away from you. I can’t do it."

"I’m afraid I don’t understand, Your Grace." Han said, quietly. He wouldn’t let himself believe the confession he was hearing right now. The king was just under a lot of stress. That was all.

Minho stood and quickly crossed the distance between them in three strides, caging Han against the cold wall. His arms on either side of Han’s head, Minho dipped his head low to look Han in the eyes. "You know exactly what I mean."

Han couldnt speak. He just looked up at his king, heart in his throat. Minho's face was so full of emotion, but unlike last time, Han knew what they were. Sadness, fear, and love.

Minho pressed his forehead against Han’s. "Say it again." he whispered.

"Hmm?" Han hummed, unsure of what the king wanted from him in this moment.

"My name." he whispered. "Say it again, please. No more of this your grace shit." Han could feel his breath on his cheek, hear the break in his voice. "Please, Han."

Han could feel his own tears flowing now, his heart aching for the king. He let out a long, slow breath. And in a hushed tone he whispered, "Minho.."

The king raised his hand to cradle Han’s face, his thumb rubbing gently across his cheek. "Minho.. we shouldn’t." Han said. "What about lady astrid?"

"Do’nt mention her name." Minho said harshly. "Not at a moment like this. Don’t let her ruin this too." And then he leaned in and softly kissed Han. And unlike their previous kiss, this one was filled with sadness. Filled with longing for something they both knew would never be. Could never be. So Han was surprised by what happened next.

Minho pulled away, his cheeks pink. "Leave with me." he said.

Han pushed Minho away just a little, so he could properly look into his face. "What?"

"You heard me." the king cradled Han’s face between both of his palms now. "Run away with me."

Han wrapped his hands around Minho's wrists. "Minho.. we can’t." he said.

"We can." the king argued.

Han looked deep into Minho's eyes. "I want to run away with you, I do. But think about this for a second." he said.

Minho pushed away from the wall, pacing the room. He couldn’t see why Han wouldn’t just leave with him. "I have thought about it!" he ran his fingers through his hair. "I’ve thought about it every second since you walked through that door." He pointed to the heavy wooden door to the chamber.

"Minho, you have a kingdom to run. Those people need you." Han pointed out.

"I don’t give a fuck about those people." he argued. But he knew that wasn’t true. And Han knew that wasn’t true. Those were Minho's people and he cared very deeply for them. They loved him as their king. And they loved Astrid as their queen. He would never leave them without a proper ruler.

"You’re just being emotional right now." Han said, approaching Minho. He ran his hand down Minho's arm. "You’re just stressed with the coronation coming. And the wedding."

Minho looked at his squire. He looked and looked and he never wanted to look away. But he knew he had to. Again the reality came crashing down, that this would never work. No matter how much they loved each other.

♡ pls reblog if you liked it! it truly helps a lot and makes me smile :) ♡

©hyunjins-orange-slice-too i do not give permission for this work or any of my work to be translated, copied, or reposted.

[deesi-academia]

hey, I saw the anti swiftie post. If you're comfortable mag I know the reason why? I am kinda neutral about her but I feel like I should know stuff. I understand if you don't wanna answer this. Take care <3

(also I agree the swiftie fandom is kinda annoying lmao)

hello old old old anon ask I'm so sorry for replying so late but yeah hi 😭

I have tons of time on my hands for the next.... 30 minutes so let's get into it. I'll list a time line of my thought process to how I came to the 'ex-swiftie' conclusion:

1. She released a song called "renegade" which is good, but I found some lines problematic and unexpected, because I used to hold swift to a pedestal (guilty as charged).

The lines were 'is it insensitive of me to say get your shit together so I can love you' and 'is it really your anxiety stopping {something love something idk} or do you just not want to?' SOOOOO yeah these thew me off a little.

2. Her album Midnights came out which I ADORED, became my fav so quick. But then her multiple variations of vinyls etc threw me off again. This is when the Bad Feeling About Her started setting in.

3. Then she released the song 'You're losing me' which just BLARED red flags to me even though the song is actually good. It's the first time I think, where she hinted that she broke up with her bf (Joe Alwyn) because of his mental illness.

4. The ongoing carbon emissions controversy lol, and her buying carbon credits... like it just felt like a "hah I'm rich so I can do whatever wrongs i want and buy it out" moment. I really hated that, since I live in a pretty polluted city so it hit close to home.

5. She threatened to sue the teenager who published PUBLIC data about her flights. Bad.

6. The entire free palestine movement gained momentum and she stayed silent. She has her image as the American Princess and Activist Who Can Do No Wrong. Feminist Queen. Speaker For Those Who Can't Speak. Yada Yada.

I simply hated her billionaire self as she chose to stay silent (and still is). To call off the criticism she and her bestie Selena went to a live comedy show where the comedian donated his earnings for Gaza relief. LIKE. ??????? Basic billionaire below underground level of "donation"???? This had to be a joke. It was not.

I think this incident was the final straw for me where I realized I can't support her if she's such a human being. That's not what my morals stand for thank you very much.

7. I REALLY tried to separate the art from the artist but I couldn't. Not with my sane mind and strong ethics. AND THEN the entire Matty healy debacle. He's a misogynistic, racist, zionist, ugh of a person.

I don't think anyone can date someone with such drastic opposing values. So the Taylor-Matty era further tarnished her image in front of me.

8. Fast forward and she releases her new album The Tortured Poets Department. That's it this was my final straw. You can just Google and go on a reddit thread about how problematic this album is. I'll probably write a long ass essay on it. Anyway this is where I decided I'm done, back in April.

Since then I've just been trying to cope with losing my fav artist because of the person she turned out to me. And people say we shouldn't hold celebs to such high standards but bro. Taylor PROMOTES parasocial relationships. SHE held her image to that standard until recently. There's an entire documentary on Netflix about that - Miss Americana.

So yeah she let me down from the pedestal she put herself on. It's been 2+ months and I'm still coping, because I genuinely lost a very important part of my life - her music. It has got me through tough times and I have many good memories associated with those songs.

Anyway, here's to new artists to love ONLY for their music lol 🥂

[mymoonagedaydream]

Part 10

Pairing: Biker!Bucky x y/n

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: Language, anti-religious sentiment throughout

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9

---

Your adrenaline rush quickly faded once you were alone again, leaving behind an incredibly unpleasant feeling of churning anxiety in your chest. You made a mug of hot tea, unsurprised when you opened the fridge to find that the milk was two weeks out of date, and collapsed onto the couch. Maintaining deep, controlled breaths and whacking the TV up to full volume eventually helped you pull yourself out of your spiral. 

Bucky didn’t get home until the early evening. You sat him down and reeled it all off, making sure to reassure him throughout that you were fine and closely monitoring his reactions. He seemed to take it surprisingly well, staying calm and still, not interrupting with any kind of dramatic outburst. You thought maybe he’d finally turned a corner with his anger.

That was, until you got to the end of your story.

“He didn’t come back, right?” You shook your head. He nodded to himself and clenched his hands together tight, dropping his head and taking a deep, shaky breath. “Fuckin’ asshole.”

You could see he was ramping up to something so you tried your best to diffuse. “It’s fine, I’m fine. I handled it.”

“You shouldn’t have to handle shit like that.”

“Well, yeah, agreed but it could’ve been much worse, right?”

“Yeah,” he stood up suddenly, “he could’a hurt you.”

“He didn’t.”

“That’s not the point.”

Grabbing his jacket from the arm of the couch, he yanked it over his arms while storming towards the door. You launched yourself after him. There was no fucking way were you going to stand back and let this happen again. You just about managed to grab his arm before he made it out of the flat, using all your strength to tug him backwards, placing yourself between him and the exit. His judgement was being seriously impaired by his anger, that much was obvious, so he needed a sharp reality check to ground him again.

“Do you really think this is worth going back to jail for?” His chest was heaving, eyes staying intentionally diverted away from yours, “cause I guarantee I won’t be here when you get out.”

He was still for a second. You folded your arms and moved out of his way, watching, waiting to see what he would do. If he left, this was over.

He threw his jacket to the ground in frustration and ran his fingers through his hair, turning back towards you with a regretful grimace. You breathed a sigh of relief.

“You’re right,” he held his arms up in defeat, “y’know, I really try to be rational, but it all goes to hell when I look at you.”

What a strange mix of accusation and romance.

“Maybe so, but if you don’t chill the fuck out very soon you’ll only be looking at me through bulletproof glass.”

“So you’d visit me, then?”

“Only to say I told you so.”

He chuckled and rubbed his forehead exasperatedly. “Man, I wish everyone would just leave us alone.”

A light pinged on inside your head. You eyed him intently, weighing up whether or not to share what you were thinking. It was something you’d debated before, something you were considering bringing up with him closer to the end of summer, something that could potentially solve all of the problems in this relationship.

Fuck it, now was as good a time as any.

“We need to get out of this town, Buck. There’s nothing here for us.”

He shot you a confused squint. “You wanna move?”

“Look, I know it seems rushed, but I really think there’s a chance we could be happy somewhere else. Between your parents, my parents and your weird creepy friends we’ve basically got no chance here. We need to get away.”

He looked away, considering your proposal. You just shifted on the spot awkwardly for what felt like hours. Eventually he smiled, then grinned, and soon enough he was beaming at you.

“Alright. Let’s get outta here.”

“Yeah?” Your head began to spin with possibility and optimism. “Where should we go?”

“Wherever you want darlin’.”

—

You spent the whole next day researching places you could potentially move to on a shoestring budget. Something small, cosy and close to the beach would’ve been ideal, but anything a significant distance away with four walls and a roof would do. At this point you’d be willing to set up camp in the middle of fucking Death Valley if it meant getting away from this shithole town. 

You tried your best to get some preferences out of Bucky, but he insisted that he wasn’t picky, and that he’d be happy as long as you were. Still, you made sure to factor dive bars and potential motorcyclist populations into your decision making.

When he got home from work, you cornered him in the kitchen, enthusiastically telling him about everything you’d found. He looked like he’d had a pretty tough day but your excitement seemed to cheer him up a bit. The warm smile that stayed planted on his face made your stomach flutter and the back of your neck tingle. 

After dinner, the two of you curled up on the couch and flicked through beautiful, unbelievably expensive beachfront properties online, mutually dreaming about the kind of future in which you’d be able to afford them. His plan was to open up a body shop of his own, one so successful that the profits would support the both of you. You thanked him for the offer but insisted that you’d get very bored if you never worked again. He said you could be his receptionist. You jabbed him in the ribs.

Anyway, your current situation was presenting enough issues of its own without you worrying about an uncertain future, the most pressing one being that most of your belongings were still at your parents’ house. There was a vague plan in your head for how you were going to retrieve them but, in all honesty, you were really trying not to think too much about it. You had a terrible tendency to overthink, and doing that would only cause you to put it off for longer.

Unfortunately, you’d completely forgotten to tell Bucky all this, so he decided to bring it up casually while you were doing the dishes.

“So, when are we paying your folks a visit?”

“We’re not,” he flung the dish cloth over his shoulder and shot you a confused frown, “I still have a key so I was thinking we’d sneak over on Sunday morning while they’re at church.”

“You sure they’ll be out?”

“Mhmm, unless there’s been a major overhaul in the Catholic church that I missed.”

“Damn, that’s a shame. I’d really like to get to know them better.”

“You’re such an ass,” you grabbed a handful of soap bubbles and blew them at him, laughing as he tried to protect his hair, “they’d only call the cops on you anyway.”

“That’s half the fun.”

You spun round and playfully pointed a finger at him. “Hey, I thought we’d established that I am not cut out for being a prison girlfriend. For one, I couldn’t pull off the juicy couture tracksuit.”

A mischievous smile spread across his face. “Oh, you definitely could.”

—

Sunday came around a little too fast for your liking. The two of you walked to your parents’ house first thing in the morning, but only after you’d taken an unbelievably long time convincing Bucky that he wouldn’t be able to strap two suitcases to the back of his bike. He’d also suggested towing them on their castors, like trailers. You were moving in with this man.

The closer you got, the tighter your grip on Bucky’s hand became. He was talking constantly in an effort to distract you, bless him, but nothing could’ve calmed you down in this situation. You were a bucket of nerves.

When the house came into view and you saw that the car was gone, your anxiety was quelled a little, but you stayed cautious. As long as you’d been alive they’d never missed Sunday mass but, by now, you’d completely given up trying to predict their behaviour. You wouldn’t have been surprised if they’d both stuffed themselves into the mailbox, waiting to jump out at you.

With the coast seemingly clear, you unlocked the house and scurried inside. Bucky stepped through the door and immediately couldn’t hold in his laughter. You weren’t sure if it was all the crucifixes, the bible quote plaques on the kitchen wall or the plastic coated sofa cushions, but he was endlessly amused. 

After letting him have his fun for a while, you gestured for him to follow you upstairs. Reaching your bedroom door, you turned to warn him about how your mother’s taste had inexplicably worsened while decorating in there, but he’d disappeared. You heard faint chuckling coming from your parents’ bedroom. 

Rolling your eyes and huffing, you trudged through to see him holding their bedside bible, flicking through it amusedly. 

“What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to find the bit where it tells you which sex positions are god-approved.”

He caught you off guard, making you burst out laughing, the funniest part being that he genuinely seemed to be invested in his search. 

You knew your mother would absolutely flip her shit if she found out Bucky had been in her bedroom, but knowing that made you much less likely to drag him out. 

“Try Leviticus,” you strolled over and rested your chin on his shoulder, “that’s where all the weird stuff is.”

He raised a cheeky eyebrow and started skimming through faster, eventually stopping to read a few lines, feign disappointment at the content, and rip the page out. You tried to grab it from him, but he moved it just out of your reach and carried on.

“Oh, here it is.” Still holding the book with one hand, he suddenly grabbed you round the waist with his other arm and pushed you onto your parents’ bed, climbing on top of you. “Let’s give some of these a try.”

You laughed as he threw the bible onto the floor and started kissing down your neck. Brushing your hand through his hair, you almost got lost in the moment, before remembering how fucking huge the stakes were here.

“We really don’t have time for this, Buck.”

“We always have time for something that’ll piss your mom off.”

“You just being here will piss her off.”

He brought his face back up to yours. “Yeah, but not as much as having my bare ass on her pillow.”

You shoved his shoulders, making him reluctantly push himself back onto his feet and pull you up after him. The two of you headed to your room but left the bed sheets messed up and the bible pages scattered all over the floor. You didn’t mind her thinking something had happened, even though it hadn’t. You just wished you could’ve seen the look on her face. 

Time was ticking but, thankfully, you’d never actually had the chance to properly unpack. All you really had to do was grab one or two things and zip your suitcases back up. 

“Jesus Christ, are your clothes made of lead?” Bucky’s only job was to carry one case downstairs, yet he still found cause for complaint.

“Oh that one’s mainly textbooks, that’s why you’re carrying it.”

He frowned, still bent double, dragging the suitcase into the hallway. “Can’t you just leave those here? You’re not gonna need them.”

“I know, but my parents paid for them, and I’m gonna resell them. Will probably fetch a decent chunk of our first month’s rent.”

“I knew there was a reason I liked you.”

He disappeared down the hallway as you finished gathering your last few things. You zipped up the second case and rolled it out of your bedroom, endlessly relieved thinking about the prospect of never coming back here. Even if your current plans didn’t work out, you were determined that this severing of ties was permanent. 

As you reached the bottom of the stairs, you saw Bucky on the sidewalk outside, sitting on your suitcase and lighting a cigarette. He looked up towards you, but his attention was immediately caught by something else that made his face drop. You stepped through the door and followed his gaze. 

It was your parents’ car, pulling up on the driveway. They must’ve left church early. Of course that’d happen on the one day you really needed it not to. 

You tried to come up with some course of action, but all that was going through your mind was fuckshitfuck. You heard the fast clicking of heels against stone and your mother appeared from behind the car, storming towards Bucky with her usual venomous expression. 

“Get off of my property.”

He looked down. “I’m pretty sure this is a sidewalk.”

You yanked your suitcase over the threshold and slammed the door behind you, drawing her attention.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She screeched, probably waking up every baby within a five-mile-radius.

You didn’t respond, marching away from the house as fast as possible and keeping your gaze fixed forwards. Before you reached the sidewalk, however, you felt a hand grip your arm tight and yank you back, almost pulling you off your feet. You turned round to see your father, a frenzied expression plastered on his bright red face. 

Before you could really process what was happening, Bucky had planted himself in front of you, giving your father’s shoulders an almighty shove. Your arm was released as they squared up to each other. Your mother, in the wings, was actually encouraging her husband to start throwing punches- because that’s what good Catholics do. 

Then, something happened that you never would’ve been able to predict. 

Bucky walked away. 

He reached for your hand and led you back to the sidewalk, grabbing the other suitcase without breaking stride. The two of you hustled away from the house as fast as you could, not looking back or responding to anything shouted after you. 

Despite all that had just happened, and how fucking pissed you were about it, you couldn’t help but crack a smile. 

You’d never seen him walk away from a fight on his own before.

---

Part 11

---

[romana-after-dark]

Hello! I have a question about GD!Joel: why do you think he submitted to reader so quickly in the first fic? I don’t mean when she tied him down and I also know that ultimately it’s still a non-con situation, but after they fucked and he threw her off and she thought he had bested her but he actually wanted to eat her out, why do you think that was? Was he in a subspace? Or decided he just really liked giving up control in that moment? Or just really really liked reader?? Either way I liked it so thank you xx

Hello wonderful anon! I'm happy to answer for you!

The way i see Joel post outbreak is control freak. I mean, we see how he is with Tommy. He's protective yes but I think he's controlling. It makes sense, he lost everything except him.

Joel naturally submits to Tess. "He answers to me", the spooning scene where tess is big spoon, he stops when she holds up her hand...

and just look at him pre outbreak. He's a bit of a mess. Don't get me wrong he's just like me fr im not judging, but his room doesnt say "in control" to me.

Also if i remember correct, in the game the pills in his cabinet were anti- anxiety pills.

Joel craves stability, and although he's incredibly capable in a militaristic sense, he is not stable. I've explored this in like, The Wrong Way. Where Joel can lead a group of raiders and carry out brutality, but the raider house is still a bachelor pad. he takes care of litle one like he did sarah in a lot of ways, but not himself. Whe little one gained freedom, she was the one who made a garden, cooked real food, kept up the house.

So, my theory is Joel is ready and willing to submit to someone capable, but no one else is as capable as him. No one else won't get them killed. Joel trusts Tommy but he still leads him. Joel follows Tess. I think Joel was impressed with the house of booby traps, impressed with her skills that even though she did not have his strength, she was resourceful. I think that did mix in with the sub space.

If there was no outbreak, Joel would not be head of household in any scenario.

I don't mean that to say i dont like dominant strong joel, put together joel or anything like that. I've written Joel fully put together and in blessed be the fruit and puppy girl, but I think in my personal characterization he's more inclined to be subby if someone can get that out of him.

Also in my head reader is a muscle mommy lmfaoooo I imagine Joel is like ARMS tee hee

I also think theres an element of protectiveness. I think Joel is naturally protective of women having had and lost his daughter. Reader says it, he's physically stonger than her. He's bigger. I think Joel, especially with the post-nut bonding chemicals (oh my god is that a real thing? Does sex actually bond you? or is that another lie my catholic homeschool group made up for theology of the body that manipulated science. Oh no.)

ANYWAY PRESUMING THATS REAL Maybe it was just the perfect storm of events and hes like I can take care of her I can protect her and she can make it so I don't have to think.

But in general I have a problem with making people fall to fast. Looking back at the wrong way im like..... but literally why did he take little one with him lmfao.

anyway thanks for the ask!!!! come on by if you got more question! Ill probs have more guard dog in july, im focusing on my pride event and the fan Zine for oscar isaac writters.