#thoughts?? comments?? violent reactions??
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creatingblackcharacters · 20 hours ago
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Some of my thoughts for your conversation about inaction towards antiBlack/racist behavior in shared online spaces (particularly fandom).
1. "I dont see it / I dont go here" - this was my first thought/defensive reaction and in reading others responses I think its a shared one.
Tumblr is perhaps unique in how purposely you can shape your experience and limit what you interact with. Blocking someone just cause is fully acceptable and expected here.
So, when Ive seen depictions of 'Black' characters that made me go, "Mmm idk man" its been my policy to just block and move on. Less chance of seeing a racist in the tags I like in the future *shrug*
Now on other sites perhaps there is some consideration that could be given to not wanting to boost something racist via interaction...but that's not how Tumblr works. Furthermore your reminder that seeing things go unopposed is the problem hit me like a frying pan to the face. Because...yeah duh.
We know the 'social rules' of this platform, you report/block the porn bots, you dont spam tags for engagement (or report if you see it), add image descriptions, reblog things you like etc. Would it be so hard to leave a simple comment on the things you want to see be changed?
2. "What if I do it wrong/I dont know this fandom/Not my place to speak?" - I firmly believe the main reasons people dont meaningfully engage with posts here or on other platforms is two fold: Responses and Outting.
If you were to post a mild comment saying for example, "Hey, feels kinda weird how you're only talking about this Black character being violent in this show. Why dont you check out this blog post by CBC, a Black artist who really digs into this topic more?"
Now you are expected to 1. 'deal' with whatever that persons response is and 2. Anyone an see and respond to what you said.
I think we generally expect random stranger interactions on the Internet to be unpleasant but, like if we are putting the focus on caring about Black people in out spaces...shits already 'unpleasant' for them.
Its time to start firing fireworks off in our neighborhoods to keep the rents low so to speak. You, non-Black folk (i.e me), dont have to wage endless comment battles with someone who wont listen. Just stating what you are seeing is enough, its marking that post for other people coming along. Forcing the question, "Y'all are we cool with this?"
As for messing up/having a record of things you said someone else might take issue with later on. Yeah but thats already happening whenever you reblog anything.
If you actually spoke out of turn just say, "Im sorry thanks for letting me know" and move on with your life. Otherwise folks on here will actually harass you over your shipping preferences so your rolling those dice already. Why not do it for something better worth it?
3. A Note - Genuinely thank you for posing these thoughtful question and just honestly expressing your frustration/hurt. It helped me think more deeply about some old habits.
Thank you!
Hm. And you're welcome
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nereidprinc3ss · 11 months ago
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hii! could i request something w spence where he asks uni reader to move in with him and r is kinda nervous about it please🙏🙏 love all of ur fics, and thanksss 🫶🫶🫶
yass this is super cute!!!! thank you for the request, hope i did it justice
warnings/tags: fluff!! a teensy bit suggestive at the end if u squint... i cant help myself. i'm an animal
requests are open! sfw and nsfw welcome
(a/n: this is probably an awkward spot to put this but I didn't wanna make a whole other post: THANK YOU GUYS FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT!!! i have gained over 100 followers since i last posted and have over 1k notes on both of my recent works thats literally bonkers insane crazy town ACTUALLY. i love hearing your thoughts and reactions to my work even if its just a silly little comment. so yeah. thanks and so much love to u ALL)
“So basically, I’m not allowed in the dorm except to sleep because she always has her boyfriend over, and I told her that’s literally insane—I’m paying thousands of dollars to be there just like her. If she wanted privacy she should have gotten a single. She can’t just lock me out of our shared bedroom all the time! I live there!” 
You’re stabbing violently at your food by the time you finish your verbal tirade. 
“Okay, maybe put the knife down before you hurt yourself,” Spencer suggests, readying a hand to take the implement away from you if necessary. The knife clatters against your plate as you drop it. 
“She’s driving me fucking crazy,” you mumble, rubbing your eyes until you see fireworks. “And the housing department said I don’t have grounds to transfer rooms, so I’m stuck with her for the rest of the year.” 
There’s no reply from your boyfriend, and a pang of guilt in your chest makes you look up at him again. His expression, as so often is the case, is inscrutable. 
“I’m sorry for ranting. I’m really happy to see you and I don’t mean to ruin dinner, I just—” 
“You could stay with me,” he interrupts. 
You blink. 
“Like... when she locks me out?” 
Spencer laughs self-consciously. 
“No, like... permanently.” 
For a moment you just gape at him like an idiot, trying to comprehend his offer. 
He wants you to move in... with him. Permanently. He wants to live with you. 
You realize you’ve been staring at him for far too long, and you lean back, inhaling deeply as the world launches into motion again. 
“That’s... a big step, Spence,” you breathe. His eyes scan you head to toe, and you realize he’s most definitely analyzing your body language. 
“You don’t have to say yes. It was just an offer,” he shrugs, standing up and clearing the plates from the table.  
“Wait,” you call, following him to the kitchen. “Are you upset now because I leaned away from you when you asked?” 
He turns from the counter, looking at you blankly. 
“Of course not. That would be ridiculous.” 
Oh, he totally is. 
You tentatively step forward, gently lacing your fingers through his—but unable to meet his eyes.  
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” you begin gingerly, “but I’m... I’m not done with school. We always said I would move in once I graduated.” 
“That’s an arbitrary limitation we set for ourselves. There are plenty of ways to get you from here to campus every day.” 
“But you’re not even here sometimes. I would just be alone.” 
“You would have the whole apartment to yourself. You would have my bed. You wouldn’t have to share a shower with an entire floor of college students anymore. And ultimately, we would get to spend a lot more time together.” 
You try to speak but find your throat is tight. Spending more time together is exactly what you’re afraid of. 
“What’s your real objection here?” he asks quietly, running his thumb back and forth over the underside of your wrist. You swallow, watching the motion of his hand.  
“I’m afraid, that if we move in together... you’ll stop liking me.” The words come out paper thin, barely audible. 
And he laughs. Your teary eyes dart up, surprised by the reaction—slightly hurt, even. 
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I’m not laughing at you,” Spencer says, sobering up when he sees your baleful expression. “I just can’t believe you think I’d stop liking you.” He wipes away the tears beading on your eyelashes delicately. “I’m in love with you. Neurologically that is pretty hard to undo.” 
You study his face, looking for any sign of hesitation or dishonesty. All you find is pure fondness in the curve of his lips; utter devotion in the soft set of his eyes. 
“You promise you won’t start hating me as soon as I move in?” 
“I promise.” 
You lean against his chest, craning your neck to look up at him. 
“I can be pretty annoying.” 
“I think I can handle it.” 
“I take really long showers.”  
He kisses you softly. “Me too. I’m sure we can figure out a way to conserve water.” 
Despite your reservations you smile against his lips. 
“Okay?” he asks. 
“Okay.” 
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thebenjiblackwoodexpress · 4 months ago
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Devil's Snare part.4
Aemond Targaryen x reader Description: Aemond has won the love of his handmaiden, but he worries that her shyness is stopping her from feeling truly comfortable expressing her affections. When Y/N receives unwanted advances from another Lord, Aemond proves just far he'll go to protect his lady.
Previous Part Part 5
Writer's note: I cannot express enough how much all your lovely comments mean to me. I still feel quite new to writing fanfic so it's amazing to know people actually want to read what I write. There's a brief mention of sexual assault in this so please don't read if this is triggering or upsetting to you in any way.
Warnings: female reader, brief mention of sexual harassment and attempted assault, protective (aka violent) Aemond, incredibly fluffy, lengthy as always, I have an obsession with Ewan Mitchell's hands; I'm being so brave about it but I will make it everyone's problem.
Aemond gently grazed his knuckles up and down Y/N's ribcage absentmindedly as he read to her, her body pressed into his side. She had appeared nervous when he'd first suggested it, a week having passed since then, but she never seemed so relaxed in his company as she did now listening to him read of ancient Targaryen dragon riders. He had been so happy, so relieved, when his shy girl had reciprocated his love. But he had not accounted for her shyness around him persisting even now that she knew he loved her. She was always tentative about expressing her feelings, and rarely initiated any physical contact with him. He had been concerned at first that she had reconsidered her feelings, a worry exacerbated by her reticence to inform anyone else of their betrothal. He thought back to the moment she'd agreed to marry him, how he'd immediately wanted to take her to see his mother and declare his intentions. It had been Y/N who had stopped him, frantically grabbing onto his arm and pulling him back to her, immediately putting him on alert.
Crouching back down in front of the chaise where she sat, his gaze had softened as he saw her eyes widened in alarm, hand still gripping his sleeve tightly. He spoke in as calm a tone as he could muster as he tried to ignore his own disquiet. "What is it my love?" Y/N smiled at him, but he noted that it did not reach her eyes.
"You might find me rather silly." Aemond brushed his knuckles lightly over her cheekbone in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. "I assure you I will not."
"It is only that I cannot help my more reserved nature. I feel comfortable with you not to judge me for it, but not others. And I know there will be whispers about your choice of a handmaiden to wife."
Aemond's good eye narrowed slightly. "I will have the tongue of anyone who bismirches you."
Y/N had lightly shaken her head at his suggestion. "I do not wish you to. Just allow me some time to get used to the idea that you love me first. I wish for it to be only us for now."
Aemond took hold of both her hands, saddened by her choice of words though desiring to be understanding of her wishes. But he would be firm on one matter.
"I do love you."
Aemond tried to oust these thoughts from his mind, comforting himself that Y/N did not shy from his touch at least, rather she always leaned into it. Though, it would always have to be him who took her hand, pulled her in for an embrace, or brushed his lips against hers. And he had begun to worry she did not think she could touch him. That their difference in status, her naturally timid disposition or, gods forbid, fear of him or his reaction prevented her from doing so. He wanted her to know she did not have to ask for his permission or wait for him to initiate, although he was more than happy to do so. He wanted her to understand that he adored her and would gladly welcome any and every affectation she would permit him.
Y/N seemed to be the most comfortable when he read to her and sometimes she would even rest her head on his shoulder, her breathing slowing so much he thought she might have fallen asleep. It made his heart soar every time for her to feel such trust in him to do so and he would always wrap an arm around her shoulder to pull her closer,  tilting his head down to lean it against hers, in the hopes he could encourage her and assure her that he appreciated and greatly desired her affection. Removing his hand from her to turn the page, he noticed that her eyes followed his movements. From their first meetings, when he'd observed her watching him weave a coin through his fingers, her gaze had always gravitated towards his hands. It had pleased him to know that she found him attractive despite his scar, though for him she was the most beautiful girl in the world. Dropping a hand down from the book he was holding, he took hold of his lady's hand, which was resting in her lap, and interlocked their fingers, a smile forming at the light dusting of pink on her cheeks at his action. He only wished she'd feel more comfortable to take his hand herself should she want to.
Y/N felt her cheeks heat as Aemond took hold of her hand in her lap, sure he must have spotted her staring. She thought every part of Aemond beautiful, but she had a particular fascination with his hands from the beginning. At first she'd just thought them elegant for someone who looked so fierce, whose sword was almost an extension of his hand. Looking down at their intertwined hands she marvelled at how large his looked over hers. There was a time when this might have frightened her. Now, along with his ever present gaze that always seemed to follow her, the warmth of his hand encasing hers just felt safe, protective. She struggled to initiate any physical affection with Aemond, still not fully able to comprehend his regard for her. So she was ever grateful for his patience with her, always taking the lead. But Y/N knew it would be unfair for her to always rely on him in this way, and she worried that he'd begin to think she did not love him in equal measure.
Resolving to at least try to set aside her nervousness for him, she separated their hands in favour of taking his in both of hers. Out of the corner of her eye she could see a look of confusion cross Aemond's face until she began to lightly trace her fingers across his knuckles, making her way slowly down his hand, tracing veins and drawing patterns along his skin. She heard his sharp intake of breath at her actions and willed herself not to be self-conscious or alarmed by this, slowly turning his hand over to trace patterns along the lines of his palm. Aemond seemed only too happy to relinquish his hand to her, awkwardly turning the page with one hand in favour of withdrawing the one she held. She continued her ministrations and Aemond continued to read without comment, perhaps not wanting to draw attention to her affectionate gesture in case it should embarass her. Y/N smiled at the thought, keenly aware of how gentle and caring Aemond always was with her. While she found it difficult to be confident in showing affection, Y/N determined to find small ways to express her love for him.
Aemond was pleasantly surprised to see Y/N grow in confidence each day, his gentle encouragement helping to make her more sure of herself. She'd begun by simply taking his hand of her own accord. Yet this small attention still served to drive him almost to complete distraction as he tried to focus on reading the words before him rather than the soft touch of her fingertips against his skin. It was not long before Y/N was comfortable to take Aemond's hands whenever she wished, assured he would only grasp hers tighter in response. Thereafter, she would reach up on tiptoe to sweetly kiss him on the corner of his mouth as she saw him off to the training yard each morning. She had looked away from him sheepishly the first time she had done so, but quickly lost her embarassment as he eagerly pulled her in to kiss her himself.
The Prince came to realise that Y/N would always retain her shy disposition, but his heart was gladdened to find that this was not a reflection of any wariness towards him any longer.  Throughout Aemond's life, he had lacked the unconditional love he'd longed for, ignored by his father, relentlessly teased by his brother and bastard nephews. The loss of his eye had only served to distance others from him further, and it was only the strength of his bond with Vhagar and the kindness of his gentle sister Helaena that prevented him from succumbing to his overwhelming feelings of loneliness. He could not understand how Y/N, who seemed to be made of pure light, could be drawn to him in spite of the darkness that festered within his heart. But he was everyday grateful she had chosen to love him and he admired her bravery to push through her trepidation and show him as much. This only emboldened him all the more in his own expressions of his love for her.
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Y/N was lost in thought as she passed along the halls of the Red Keep. She often found herself so, thinking of Aemond when she was not with him and pondering on her own apprehension to marry the man she loved. She knew that Aemond would have married her the instant she'd agreed to be his wife. He'd told her as much. Yet she could not fully suppress her fears over the judgements of others, the potential opposition they would face for such an unorthodox match. Though, day by day she found herself growing less concerned by these possibilities, moved by the extent of Aemond's love for her and patience to wait until she was ready. With her mind thus preoccupied, she was thoroughly startled when a hand encircled her wrist and tugged her into a sequestered passageway, letting out an audible shriek. The momentum caused her to fall forward into whoever had accosted her. Arms wrapped around her, hands splaying out to cover her waist...Aemond's hands, she realised as she looked up to see him grinning at her playfully.
Before she could scold him for scaring her, he crashed his lips against hers. Y/N's hands flew up to grip Aemond's shoulders as he slowly shifted them backwards until she felt the cool stone of the Keep's walls pressing against her back. Aemond brought a hand up to rest against her cheek, tilting her head up to his to deepen the kiss. Y/N broke away from him a few moments later, shoving lightly against his chest, out of breath. She was sure she didn't strike a particularly intimidating figure, panting for breath, her hair mussed and cheeks surely ablaze. But she tried to fix the Prince with a stern look nonetheless, lightly swatting at his chest. "Aemond, you scared me half to death."
Aemond only smiled wider and grabbed her hand before she could retract it, placing a gentle kiss upon her knuckles before lowering his head to brush his lips against her jaw, his breath tickling her skin as he spoke. "Are you very angry, my love?"  Y/N found herself unable to reply at all as he slowly planted kisses along her jaw, her cheek and finally her forehead. He paused briefly to hum at her questioningly, having received no response. When Y/N only gripped his tunic to pull him closer, he recaptured her lips with his. She reached up with her free hand to entangle her fingers in his hair, feeling him smile against her lips as she did so.
It was Aemond who pulled away then, resting his forehead against hers. "I earnestly apologise for scaring you my love. I missed you and it could not be helped." Y/N ran her fingers through the lengths of his soft white hair.  "You are forgiven." Aemond smiled at her and went to kiss her again but she quickly turned her face from him, laughing at his boyish eagerness. "Aemond, I have my duties to attend to and I am certain you have your own. You are Prince Aemond Targaryen of the Seven Kingdoms, you cannot spend all your time with me."
Her tone was jesting but she laid a particular emphasis on his title. She did not wish to distract him from his duties as a Prince of the realm.  Aemond shot her a smile so dazzling she felt her heart stutter, before tilting his head down to meet her eyes and speaking so softly it was almost a whisper. "I am your Aemond." Y/N gulped, her hand subconsciously tightening its hold on Aemond's tunic. Seemingly pleased with himself at having once again left her speechless, he pulled back. "But if you insist, I will accede to your wishes and withdraw." Y/N shook herself from the dazed state she too oft found herself in around the Prince, taking embarrassingly deep breaths to calm the uneven fluttering of her heart.
But she grew suspicious when Aemond remained planted to the spot, a strangely knowing smirk upon his features. "Aemond, I promise to see you later. But we must go our separate ways for now." Aemond's eyebrows glinted mischievously, in complete contrast to the seriousness of her tone.  "In order to do that you would have to let me go, little one." Y/N's eyes widened with alarm as she looked down to find herself still clutching onto Aemond's tunic, abruptly releasing her hold. Aemond laughed before affectionately tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "It is alright my darling, I did not wish to let you go either." The rogue did not wait for her response before turning to walk briskly away from her and out of the passageway.
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Y/N's heart leapt in her chest as she watched an ornate vase emblazoned with the Targaryen House sigil shatter on the stone floor of Aemond's chambers. She'd knocked it off a side table by accident whilst she'd been making her survey of the room for the evening, and as she cleared up the mess she was racked with nerves at the prospect of telling Aemond, not knowing if the vase was valuable to him in anyway and if he would be angry with her for her carelessness. In her guilt she took him by surprise as he returned to his chambers for the night, all but barrelling into him, wrapping her arms around his torso and hiding her face in his chest.
Aemond had immediately brought his own arms up to wrap around her and return her embrace, letting out a pleased laugh at her display of affection. "While it gladdens my heart that you are happy to see me, might I ask what fortuitous circumstance has prompted you to throw yourself at me?" He spoke low and teasing close to her ear. When his lovely handmaiden only tightened her grip on him in response to his jest he grew truly concerned.
Pulling back from her slightly so he could see her face, he was startled by her penitent expression. "Has something happened?"
Y/N looked up at him regretfully.
"Promise you won't be angry."
Aemond's face had fallen at her request. While he had kept his promise to never again raise his voice to her after he'd first done so and frightened her, the memory still pained him.
"I give you my word."
Y/N nodded, taking a deep breath before rushing out "I broke the vase on your side table. It was done accidentally and I am sorry for it."
Aemond nearly laughed again with relief that it was such a small thing that concerned his lady, but did not wish her to think he was being cruel or laughing at her. He bent his torso slightly so he could look into her eyes. "Is that all? You can change anything to your liking or break it if you will, these will be your chambers too one day when you are my wife. I do not wish you to worry yourself about such an inconsequential matter."
Y/N was grateful that Aemond had not been angry, indeed he was not in the slightest bit perturbed at her clumsiness. But his allusions to their marriage and shared life together had her cheeks turning red with embarassment and she quickly returned her head to his chest to hide the fact. She'd felt his chuckle resound in his chest as he gently extricated her from him oncemore to hold her face. "Do not hide from me, my love. I will not rush you. We will marry when you are ready."
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Y/N rushed from Helaena's room, brushing aggressively at the tears blurring her vision. She'd hoped to visit the Princess and return a book she'd borrowed, having grown to see her as a friend. But she was surprised to find her chambers empty save for Martin Reyne, one of Prince Aegon's retinue of friends. His lecherous smirk upon spotting her sent shivers down her spine, as she watched him mentally undress her.
"No need to leave on my account, I was just looking for Prince Aegon. Alas, he is not here."
Y/N bristled at his presumption to skulk about the Princess Helaena's chambers, only shooting him a furtive look before she turned to leave, not wishing to remain in his presence alone any longer. But he quickly closed the distance between them, grabbing her arm forcibly and pulling her further into the Princess's chambers. No sooner had his hands began to wander than the door was flung open by Ser Erryk Cargyll, who'd angrily shoved the Lord away from her. She had only just been able to whisper her thanks to the knight before falling apart and fleeing from the room. Y/N could hardly breathe through her attempts to stifle her sobs as she stumbled down the halls of the Keep, hoping she could avoid running into anyone. She needed to be find somewhere to calm herself and found herself headed in the direction of Aemond's chambers, where she felt safest, before she had even consciously made the decision to do so. He was never in his chambers at this time of the day so she did not expect to see him standing by his desk, back turned to her. She let out a startled gasp at which Aemond instantly turned to face her. Falling against the nearest wall for support, she placed a hand on her chest in an attempt to calm her frantic breathing and stop the flow of her tears, aware that both were causing her to feel faint and unsteady on her feet.
At the sight of her distress, Aemond ran to her side, lightly taking hold of her elbows to keep her steady as he looked over her rapidly for any signs of injury. Y/N couldn't speak, she could only fall against him and sob into his chest as his hands flew up to hold her against him. One hand stroking her hair, he tried to whisper words of comfort to her and hush her cries for long enough to ascertain the cause. "It is alright, you are safe. Can you tell me what happened?" When her breathing only became more erratic, Aemond swept her up into his arms, her own instantly finding purchase around his neck, and carried her over to his favoured arm chair before setting her on his lap.
In any other circumstance he would have been deliriously happy to be able to hold her this close, to have her nuzzle into his neck as she did now. But he had never seen her so upset, not even on the one occasion when they'd argued, and he felt his own heart race and dread seep into his very bones at what could have prompted such a response from his lady.
It was a long time before Y/N felt able to tell Aemond what had happened and she could not bring herself to meet his gaze as she did so. Aemond had to tilt his head to hear her voice muffled against his shoulder, stiffening and feeling rage rise up in him at every word. He did not interrupt her, only speaking once he was certain she had finished. Kissing the crown of her head, Aemond tried to contain his anger so as not to frighten her further, promising to himself that he would deal with the bastard who'd dared touch her later. But for now he knew Y/N needed him more. "No one will ever harm you again."
A short while later, Aemond stormed into the throne room, where Ser Erryk had informed him Aegon and his lickspittle friends would be. He heard their laughter before he saw them, and that only served to fuel his rage further. It did not take him long to pick out the object of his ire. Aegon had turned upon hearing his heavy tread "Ah, brother."
Ignoring his brother entirely, Aemond headed straight for his friend, his voice booming across the hall. "Reyne!" The Lord in question looked thoroughly alarmed at being addressed in such a manner by the one-eyed Prince, taking a cautious step back, his own voice wavering. "My Prince?"
Aemond roughly grabbed hold of the Lord's front. "Did you think your actions would go unpunished you craven bastard?"
Reyne's eyes widened with alarm as he took note of the dangerous glint in the Prince's eye and his venomous tone. "My Prince, I do not recall committing an infraction against you."
Aemond shoved Reyne against a nearby pillar, hearing a satisfying smack as the Lord's head resounded off it. Aegon swiftly stepped in to aid his friend.  "Come now brother, what is the meaning of this?"
"He assaulted my handmaiden in our sister's chambers" Aemond all but growled through gritted teeth. Realisation dawned on Reyne's face and Aemond narrowed his eyes, feeling the blood of the dragon heat within him as a light-hearted grin broke across the bastard's face. "All this over a girl? It was only a bit of fun, she didn't need to go getting upset over it." Aegon saw the danger before his foolish friend and made a grab for his brother, but Aemond was stronger and quicker, merely shoving his brother aside before punching Reyne in the face with enough force to break his nose. As blood began gushing from the Lord's nose and he unceremoniously fell to the ground clutching at his face in pain, Aemond grabbed him by the back of his neck, roughly dragging him from the hall. He dragged him all the way to the front entrance of the Keep before throwing him atop the stairwell, leaning down into the Lord's face, his voice low and dangerous. "If I catch you within the walls of The Red Keep again I will fucking kill you."
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When Aemond returned to his chambers dusk had fallen and Y/N had yet to move from where he'd left her, curled up in his favoured chair. Seeing her look so fragile, her arms wrapped about herself, he wished he'd killed the blaggard after all and resolved to comfort her as best he could. Her head snapped up at the sound of his footsteps and she jumped up to greet him, her eyes gravitating towards his still bloody knuckles. He quickly moved to assuage the concern forming in her eyes. "The blood is not mine. Mostly. He will not touch you again." Y/N took his hand to place a tender kiss upon his grazed knuckles. "I am grateful, Aemond. Though I would not have you hurt yourself in defence of me."
Aemond was moved by the sweetness of  his beloved's temperament and her concern for his wellbeing. But he wanted her to see him as her protector, for he always would be. He levelled a charming smile at her. "Do you really think me so fragile and weak?"
Y/N's eyes widened. "Of course not Aemond, I did not mean that."
With the hopes of amusing her, and thereby distracting her from her current troubles, he feigned offence. Pulling away from her he paced to the other side of the room and sighed exaggeratedly. "Alas, my lady does not think me fit to protect her. I do not know that I can stand the shame."
"Aemond, I know you are powerful and perfectly capable of defending me. You are a formidable swordsman. That is not..." Y/N started to apologise but stopped mid sentence as she looked suspiciously at the upturn of his lips, realising he was just teasing her. "Aemond that isn't funny", she tried to look stern but struggled to repress her own smile at his antics. Aemond quirked an eyebrow up at her. "So my lady thinks me powerful, does she? Formidable even?"
Y/N blushed at her own words thrown back at her, stuttering out her response. "You know what I meant, Aemond. Don't be arrogant."
Aemond's smile broadened in response and he slowly began stalking back towards her. He had a playful gleam in his eye that had Y/N stepping backwards in response and moving around his desk, unsure of what game he was playing. "What are you doing, Aemond?"
Aemond halted on the other side of his desk. "It would appear I have to assure my lady of my capability to defend her."
Y/N's confusion at his words lasted only a moment before he darted around the desk, reaching for her, and she turned to run from him. It wasn't long before she found herself giggling as he chased her about the room. She knew he was only pretending, purposefully allowing her to escape his hold each time his fingers grazed her waist, but that only made her laugh harder. She'd not known Aemond had such a playful side to him.
Wishing to hold his lady, Aemond decided to end their game, pleased to have made Y/N laugh and to have distracted her for the moment. He caught up to her and swept her back into his arms, her back flush against his chest as he spun her about, picking up speed in accordance with her laughter. Placing her gently back down he cupped her face between his hands and looked at her seriously, wanting her to know he was in earnest now.
"I will always protect you, defend you with my life if I have to. You are my love and will be my wife one day, whenever you give the word."
Y/N smiled up at him with gratitude and love in her eyes. "Aemond, I think I am ready to be your wife now."
Aemond could not contain his joy at her words, feeling a weight lift from his chest. He had been willing to be patient for her, but each day Y/N continued to feel unsure of their marriage, of him, the deep seated insecurity that had haunted him since childhood had grown stronger.
"Truly, my love?"
"Truly." That was all he needed to hear before he captured her lips in a passionate kiss.
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You were expecting Aemond fanfiction and instead you got an ode to Ewan Mitchell's hands. Whoops 🤭
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sabersandsnipers · 1 year ago
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A Stray on the Road
Author’s Note: I work with a lot of the pediatric population as a nurse, so I thought about what Halsin and Astarion’s reactions would be to me having to protect and take care of every kid I find lol
The day was grueling. The sticky sensation of blood covers every inch of your skin. Aches and pains rattle your bones, and the road seems endless as your group searches for a good place to set up camp. The only thought keeping you going is that of curling up between Astarion and Halsin later. 
“Gods, this is hell,” Karlach complains. 
Wyll responds with some snide comment, but you’re only half listening, because you’re approaching a rather violent scene. Wagons are tipped over, and bodies litter the road. You slow as you approach, noticing a small figure sitting by a pair of bodies. 
Your gaze sharpens, and you see it’s a young girl. No older than 5. Tears stream down her cheeks as she sits by a pair of dead bodies. Your heart sinks as you realize it’s probably her parents. 
“Hang back, guys,” you say. You fear the approach of such a large group will frighten her. Attempting to wipe the blood off your face, you walk up to the girl. 
Her clothes are tattered, and you notice she has a few cuts lining her arms and legs. You crouch next to her.
“Hey,” you say softly. 
Big beautiful brown eyes meet yours. Something twists in your chest. 
“What’s your name?” you ask.
She sniffles. “Eowyn.”
“Eowyn, do you have family nearby?”
She shakes her head. “No. And I don’t know where I am.” 
Her voice trembles, and your heart breaks for her. You look back to your companions. Most won’t mind her staying with them, except for Astarion, who will be annoyed by the young presence.Your friends look back at you expectantly, wondering what your next move is. 
“Would you like to stay with me and my friends for the night?” you ask her.
She looks to the group behind you, and you half expect her to run away in fear with how harsh they look. 
But her expression doesn’t change, she simply nods her head. 
“Do you think you can walk?” you ask her.
She shakes her head. 
You smile at her. “That’s okay. Halsin?”
The elf approaches. Eowyn stares up at him, eyes wide. 
“Is it alright if my friend carries you?” you ask her. 
She nods. “He’s so tall.” Her eyes are filled with wonder.
“He is,” you say with a chuckle. You look to Halsin and he nods. He reaches down and picks up the child, placing her on his shoulder. 
“Hold on, child,” he says. There’s a slight smile on her face, but then darkness fills her eyes again. 
Your group ventures forth once more. The sun is beginning to set, casting shadows along the road. But you can’t help but admire the beautiful colors streaking across the sky. 
Astarion falls into step beside you. “Picked up another stray, I see.”
You nudge your shoulder against him. “You were a stray once too.” 
He gives a half smile. “I’m just worried you’re going to burden yourself with her safety.”
You let out a sigh, knowing he wouldn’t like her presence. “She has no one, Astarion.” 
He doesn’t say anymore, but you can feel the tenseness between you two. Your relationship is still being navigated. But even with your difference in values, you couldn’t stop yourselves from being drawn to each other. 
A giggle pulls you from your thoughts. You look back to see Eowyn playing with Halsin’s braids. He’s grinning back at her, thoroughly enjoying her laughs. The sight sparks a warmth within you, and you can’t stop the smile from growing on your lips.
“Ugh.” Astarion comments. “Does he always have to be so…Halsin?” 
You shoot him a half hearted glare. Despite him being agreeable to Halsin joining your relationship, he always seems taken aback by his general goodness and willingness to help others. 
Your trek continues, Astarion allowing your hands to brush ever so slightly as you walk the dusty road. 
The fire crackles as Karlach throws more wood onto the flames. A warm stew has been shared amongst your group, Eowyn getting a healthy portion. Conversations scatter around, commenting on the latest tavern you stopped at, or how a fight went along the way. 
You sit on a log between Eowyn and Halsin, but Astarion sits over by his tent. He’s reading one of his books, sipping on some wine. 
Every time you glance to Eowyn, you notice her watching Astarion. Her gaze is curious, and she seems completely enthralled with him. Not that you can blame her. You’re completely enthralled as well. 
“He’s so beautiful,” she suddenly comments. You smile at her and then look at your love.
“Isn’t he?” you respond. “He’s awfully nice too, to the people he likes.”
“I saw you kissing earlier. Are you married?” she asks. 
You laugh. “No, but I do love him very much.”
Confusion crosses her face, as if she can’t comprehend how you can be in love but not married. She takes another bite of her stew. Her eyes flicker back to Astarion. 
A few minutes later she taps you on the shoulder. You turn away from your conversation with Halsin as she leans over to you. 
“Do you think he would read me a bedtime story?” she asks in a whisper. 
You grin, and glance at Astarion. Although he would most definitely deny her request, he can’t deny you. 
“Yes. You should go over and ask. Tell him I sent you.” 
Her expression brightens. She gets right up and makes her way over to Astarion, who doesn’t acknowledge her until she’s standing right in front of him. He finally looks up, his expression mildly annoyed. Eowyn talks for a few moments and then he shoots a glare in your direction. 
You raise an eyebrow at him, daring him to say no. He bites the inside of his lip. The seconds pass as you wait for his response. 
Finally, his body relaxes and he nods his head. Eowyn sits down on the cushion next to him, snuggling up right close to him. Although Astarion tenses a bit, he doesn’t push her away. You watch them for a bit, admiring how adorable they look together. 
A pair of hands find their way to your shoulders. 
A familiar voice whispers in your ear. “I’m going to bathe in the river. Would you like to join me?” Halsin asks. He places a hot kiss against your neck. 
“Halsin, the day I say no to that question, I want you to push me off a cliff, because clearly I’ve gone mad,” you respond. 
A breathy laugh caresses your skin. You give him your hand and the two of you make your way to the water. 
When you return from your excursion with Halsin, skin still tingling, you’re astounded by the sight before you. Astarion and Eowyn still sit together, except Eowyn is sound asleep in his lap. Astarion looks down at her, his hand resting lightly on her hair. You can’t read his expression. 
When you approach Astarion, you crouch down and place a kiss to his temple. He smiles at you, and it makes your heart flutter just like the first time. 
“I can have Halsin take her to my tent,” you offer, brushing back a strand of his white curls. 
He hesitates, looking down at Eowyn. “I think we’ll be okay. She looks so comfortable.” 
She’s curled right up, her head resting on his chest. Her face looks so serene after all the horrors she’s experienced today. 
“Okay. I’ll go spend the night with Halsin then. Just come get me if you need me,” you tell him. 
“I think we’ll be okay, darling,” he replies. 
You smile and kiss him goodnight. As you make your way to Halsin’s tent, you take one last look over your shoulder, and allow yourself a moment to admire the two of them. And it brings you great joy to know Astarion is finding just as much comfort as she is. 
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yayi-fuji · 6 months ago
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“Rae, why does this coin look so unique compared to the other yen?”
“Oh! See how this one has a face instead of the number of value on it? It’s because this is American currency, this here is a quarter, worth 25 cents. They have George Washington’s portrait in them.”
“That- That’s George Washington!? The first president of the United States!?”
“Uh… yah? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing! I simply, uhm… envisioned him rather differently than… this.”
Based on Even in the Next One !!! This isn’t an actual scene inside the chapters, but it’s just so easy to imagine them with how lively they feel. Please go give it a read if you haven’t yet <3
To @jobrrr : AUUGHH I’M IN LOVE WITH YOUR FIC!!! It has been a few months since I last became this invested in one :’D It just feels SO real and there are so many thoughts in my head as a result; hopefully I overcome my shyness and drop a comment proper sometime soon. Thank you for your service.
ALSO @melpymoo ! HUGE thank you for reading this alongside me omfg this is crazy, never before has a hyperfix been revived this violently 😭 Ty for granting me the space to be totally normal about these 2, looking forward to the rest of your reactions ^^
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hopelesslygaysstuff · 3 months ago
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50 Shades of Red || Chapter 6
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pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Natasha Romanoff
summary: Wanda wakes up in an unfamiliar bed, then goes through emotional whiplash. Curtesy of a rich, sexy CEO.
content warnings: mentions of throwing up
word count: 4.2k+
masterlist
comments and reblogs are always appreciated! happy reading ♡
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Warmth. The sounds of muted bird calls filter through Wanda’s brain, her eyes squeezing shut tightly as she registers golden light from behind her eyelids. She’s comfortable, wrapped in a thick blanket on a soft bed. She sighs, breathing in deeply and snuggling further into the silk pillow. 
Wait. 
Silk pillow?
Wanda’s eyes shoot open, blinking against the sunlight streaming in through the open window, a slight breeze ruffling the curtains. Sitting up, she feels her head spin from the abrupt change in position, and her head pounds from sharp pangs as she remembers the night before. 
Holy fuck. 
The memory of liquid fire streaming down her throat pulls Wanda’s face into a grimace. She can’t remember how many shots she took, but she can remember the feeling of it regurgitating out of her throat into the bushes while someone held her hair back. Someone with firm hands and soft hair and strong arms and bright… green… eyes…
Shaking her head, Wanda glances at the bedside table. A glass of orange juice waits, the condensation dripping down the glass. Two pale pink pulls lay beside it, and Wanda gratefully swallows them, washing the Advil down with ice-cold orange juice. The rancid, bitter taste in her mouth disappears, and Wanda gratefully drinks more of the juice. 
It’s more than she probably deserves. Cringing internally, Wanda remembers how Ms. Romanoff had rubbed soothing circles on her back while she puked her guts into the bushes, and throws her head back into the pillow, the blanket falling off her shoulders at the action. She breathes deeply, realizing that she’s wearing unfamiliar clothes. 
She’s in her t-shirt, bra, and underwear. Her pants and socks are nowhere to be found. 
A violent flush spread across Wanda’s face, the heat starting from the tips of her ears and descending towards her chest. God, this was embarrassing. Not only had Ms. Romanoff witnessed her unfortunate reaction to too much alcohol, but she also had undressed her and tucked her into bed like some sort of… wayward child. 
There’s a knock at the door, and Wanda has just enough time to feel her heart drop to the pits of her stomach before Ms. Romanoff is strolling in. 
Of their own accord, Wanda’s eyes roam the figure of the woman before her. She’s dressed in a long-sleeve compression shirt and sweatpants, her hair braided neatly behind her. Her pants are hanging off of her hips, almost low enough that if she happened to stretch, Wanda would be able to see far more than she’d anticipated. 
Shaking her head from those thoughts, Wanda glances back at Ms. Romanoff’s face. 
Great, she’s smirking. Wanda would like to wipe that infernal smirk from her lips, and she’s in the middle of deciding whether she wants to punch or kiss the woman when Ms. Romanoff begins speaking. 
“Good morning, Wanda. How are you feeling?”
Her shirt is sweaty, a dark patch running from her collarbones and down her chest. Wanda can’t focus, the sight of Ms. Romanoff’s slightly damp skin sent her brain reeling. She wonders what type of workout the woman does, what her muscles look like when she’s lifting weights of what her form is while she’s running and-
“I’m fine.” 
“Are you?”
Wanda remembers the pounding in her head. She takes another large sip of her orange juice, watching as Ms. Romanoff smiles. The woman doesn’t even attempt to hide her amusement. It makes Wanda want to throw something. 
“How did I get here?”
Ms. Romanoff sits on the edge of the bed, her fingers splaying out on the comforter. She’s close enough that Wanda can smell her perfume, the cinnamon mixing with a subtle hint of sweat. Wanda takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, shooing away the inappropriate thoughts that linger at the edges of her mind. 
“I brought you here.”
Yeah, no shit. 
“Why?”
“I didn’t want to risk you throwing up in my car on the drive to your apartment. The hotel was closer.” Ms. Romanoff’s voice is low. Wanda feels her head spin. 
“Did you put me to bed?”
“Yes.”
“Did I throw up again?” Wanda’s voice is quiet, and she hates how meek she sounds. 
“No.” Ms. Romanoff’s face is impassive, her green eyes dark and locked on Wanda’s face. She fights the flush that attempts to rise. 
“Did you,” Wanda clears her throat, glancing down to where her fingers are gripping the edge of the comforter. “Did you undress me?”
“I did.”
“Did we?” Wanda can’t finish the question. 
Ms. Romanoff quirks an eyebrow, her face serious. 
“Wanda, you were unconscious. I would never take advantage of you like that. Somnophilia isn’t really my thing. I enjoy my woman receptive, conscious, and yearning for more.”
“Ah,” Wanda responds lamely, “Well, I’m sorry.”
Those lips quirk up again, “It was a very riveting evening. It won’t be easily forgotten.”
Wanda is about to agree, before she sees the sparkle in the woman’s eyes. Ah, she’s making fun of her. 
Fuming slightly, Wanda looks back down at the soft comforter she’s gripping between her fingers. Whatever, the woman can laugh all she wants. It’s not like Wanda had asked Ms. Romanoff to come and get her. She feels scolded, like an unrepentant child, and immediately resents the feeling. 
“You didn’t have to track me down like you’re some kind of spy with top-secret government equipment,” Wanda snaps, her voice frigid. Ms. Romanoff stares at her, those green eyes widened slightly, a wounded look appearing in them. 
“The technology that allows me to track cellphones is available over the internet, Ms. Maximoff. If I hadn’t come to get you, you’d probably be waking up in a very different room right now, with a photographer who doesn’t understand the meaning of the word no,” Ms. Romanoff responds, her voice raspy and eyes hard. She’s glaring at Wanda, her posture tense, and Wanda can’t help the vision of an angry raccoon as it flies through her mind. 
Biting her lip, Wanda smothers a chuckle. “How noble of you. What fantasy book did you fall out of?”
Those perfect eyebrows crinkle, and Ms. Romanoff seems unsure of how to respond. Blinking slowly, she processes the quick change of emotion, before her expression warms and her eyes soften. 
“If anything, I’m the misunderstood villain,” she says, her smile sharp. Then, she changes tactics. “Did you eat last night?”
Wanda shakes her head, admiring the way Ms. Romanoff clenches her jaw. She lets out a sharp breath, running a hand over her braid before beginning to take it out, her long fingers nimble. Wanda can’t take her eyes off of it, her imagination running wild.
“You need to eat, that’s why you’re feeling like this,” Ms. Romanoff waves a hand in Wanda’s general direction, and she can’t help but giggle at the statement. Those green eyes find hers again, a surprised look in them. 
“Are you just going to scold me all morning?”
“Is that what you think I’m doing?”
“Yes.” 
“Well,” Ms. Romanoff stands, moving towards the desk and grabbing a towel draped over the side of it. She turns towards Wanda, wrapping the towel around her neck and grabbing onto the sides of it, her posture tall. “You’re lucky I’m only scolding you.”
“I-” Wanda blinks, the barest hint of a smirk on Ms. Romanoff’s face. God, this woman is insufferable. “What do you mean?”
“If you were mine, you wouldn’t be so smug after the stupidity you displayed yesterday. You didn’t eat, got drunk and put yourself at risk. I hate to think what could have happened to you.” Her eyes are cold again, something that looks like fear flickering in them slightly. She walks towards Wanda, her steps slow and sure.
“I was with Kate, I would’ve been fine.”
“Mhmm,” Ms. Romanoff murmurs, leaning over the bed, her face dangerously close to Wanda’s. “And the photographer?”
“He just,” Wanda doesn’t know what to say. “He just got a bit out of hand.”
“The next time he gets out of hand, maybe I’ll teach him some manners.”
“You’re quite the disciplinarian,” Wanda says, her voice as acidic as venom. She’s frustrated with the turn in conversation. Honestly, she was having a fine morning, and now the woman had to bring Vision, of all people, into this?
“Oh sweetheart, you have no idea.” Ms. Romanoff’s smile is blinding, her eyes sharp. It's completely disarming, and Wanda finds herself wheeling from the whiplash. She can’t find any words, completely mesmerized by the rare smile Ms. Romanoff has graced her with. 
Also, the pet name? Fuck. 
“I’m going to shower, unless you’d like to go first?” Ms. Romanoff’s voice is sickly sweet, dripping with something Wanda can’t comprehend. It feels like every synapse she has in her brain is firing all at once, her breaths short as her heartbeat races. 
“Breathe, Wanda,” she whispers, reaching over to trail a single finger down Wanda’s face. It grazes her lips, sending electricity tumbling straight to her heart, before resting under her chin. “Breakfast will be here in fifteen minutes.”
Standing, Ms. Romanoff gives her a look, a silent command of some sort. Wanda feels completely out of her depth. 
“You must be famished, having emptied your stomach last night so… ungracefully.” With that, she winks and closes the bathroom door. 
Wanda lets out a long breath, leaning back against the headboard as the water turns on. She’s never had this urge before, this… desire. All she wants to do is wrench open the bathroom door and get in the shower with Ms. Romanoff, or punch her straight in those beautiful lips. Wanda hasn’t decided which one she wants to do more, yet. 
‘If you were mine.’
What the fuck is that supposed to mean? And why does Wanda’s heart race at the mere thought of it? 
Ms. Romanoff is confusing, Wanda decides. An anomaly sent into her life to destroy any semblance of peace she’s managed to scrape together. She’s sweet and alluring in one moment, then antagonizing and difficult the next. Who else sends a first edition of a book worth thousands, then tracks her all within 48 hours? 
Regardless, Wanda has never felt more safe than she does at this moment. In a hotel room, a penthouse, from the look of it. She feels protected, and a sliver of warmth nestles itself in her heart when she remembers that Ms. Romanoff came to rescue her. 
Then, she scoffs. Danger. As if Vision could ever truly be dangerous. The memory of his cologne seeps unbidden into her mind, the suffocating weight of his body pressed against hers as his alcohol-flavored breath hit her face capturing her thoughts. 
She feels like throwing up all over again. 
Scrambling out of bed, Wanda looks around wildly. She suddenly feels the need to escape to… run, far away from the situation she’s found herself in. She turns over the covers, her heart racing once more as she searches the room for her pants. 
The door opens, and Wanda whirls around. Ms. Romanoff seems just as surprised to see her out of bed, the towel wrapped neatly around her still-glistening body. Wanda can’t take her eyes off the woman’s bare shoulders, the muscles shining as she gently wrings her hair. 
“If you’re looking for your pants, I’ve sent them to be laundered.” Her eyes are dark, trailing over Wanda’s awkward form. “They were covered in your vomit.”
“Oh,” Wanda flushes. She doesn’t know how to respond. 
“I sent Taylor out for another pair and some shoes. They’re in the box next to the desk.” 
She sent her driver out to shop for new clothes. Wanda will never live this down. Although, clean clothes aren't the worst thing in the world. 
“Well, um.” Wanda stutters, bending down to grab the box while Ms. Romanoff watches with intent eyes. “I’ll be in the shower then. Thanks.” She darts into the bathroom, locking the door behind her and letting out a shaky breath. How was she supposed to react when she was mere inches away from the perfect body of Natasha Romanoff?
Stepping into the shower, Wanda lets the hot water run over her face, washing away the night before. God, she can’t believe this is her life. She turns the water to a slightly cool temperature, willing her flush to disappear. 
She wants Natasha Romanoff. That much is clear to her. Everything else is… muddy. Doubts and insecurities creep into her mind, and Wanda washes them away as she lathers her hair with a coconut-scented shampoo. She can’t even read the name of the brand, and decides to not think about the price as she continues to shower. 
Opening the body wash, Wanda breathes in the scent. It smells just like Ms. Romanoff. She rubs it over her body, the suds gathering as she fantasizes that it's her rubbing this soap into her skin, across her chest and circling her nipples, over her stomach and down between the soft skin of her thighs with those strong, long-fingered hands. 
“Breakfast is here.” She knocks on the door, and Wanda drops the bottle. 
“Okay,” Her voice is strained, and she curses herself as she picks up the soap, rinsing the suds off. She takes a breath, ignoring the wetness between her thighs as she finishes her shower, washing all evidence of her erotic daydream away. 
Toweling herself dry, Wanda inspects the box of clothes. Not only is there a pair of new pants and Converse, but also a dark, forest green shirt with black panties and a bra. And fuck, they’re perfect. The design is soft, with a gentle lace design around the edges that has Wanda giggling at the thought of Ms. Romanoff’s driver standing in the middle of Victoria’s Secret picking out her undergarments. 
Slipping the clothes on, she marvels at the fact that everything fits perfectly before toweling her hair dry. She eyes the hair dryer, but decides to let it dry naturally instead. She’d rather not have crazy, blown-out hair in front of the most gorgeous woman on earth. Taking a deep breath, Wanda finds a sliver of courage and opens the bathroom door. 
The bedroom is empty, her footsteps quiet and muffled on the soft floor. She scans the room for her purse, not finding it. Pausing to steel herself, she walks into the living room area of the penthouse, her eyes widening at the sight of an actual dining table and multiple plush chairs. Everything is elaborate, and Wanda finds herself nervous to touch anything in the room, sure that even the silverware was more than her month’s rent. 
“Fuck, Kate,” Wanda mumbles. Ms. Romanoff looks up from where she’s seated on the couch, laying her newspaper on her lap. 
“She knows that you’re alive and here. I texted Yelena.” That damned smirk is back again. 
Oh, God. Wanda remembers the looks that her roommate was giving Yelena the night before. Kate had really put on the maximum amount of charm to seduce Ms. Romanoff’s sister, and Wanda sighs slightly. The last time Kate had picked someone up from the bar, Wanda was seated on the couch watching sad movies and eating ice cream out of solidarity while she lamented. She just hopes that Yelena shows the same respect that her sister has.
“Sit,” Natasha says, gesturing towards the table. She stands, uncovering the multitudes of platters adorning the table. 
“I didn’t know what you would like, so I ordered a bit of everything.” Her smile is small, her eyebrows crinkled slightly. Wanda finds it cute.
“Thank you.”
A pleasant silence fills the room for a moment, each of them eating their respective breakfasts. Natasha finishes first, having scarfed down some bacon and eggs. She reaches for the sausages as Wanda slowly cuts up her pancakes before lathering them in butter. 
“That color suits you.”
Wanda blushes, her knife clattering against her plate. 
“You should learn how to take a compliment,” Natasha says, her tone kind. Those green eyes watch her, and Wanda finishes her bite before speaking. Her fingers shake slightly around her cutlery, and Natasha glances down at them. 
“I should give you some money for the clothes,” Wanda mutters, noticing the way Natasha’s eyebrows shoot up. “I can’t accept your book either, as nice as it is. Please, let me pay you back.”
“Wanda,” Natasha’s voice is barely a whisper, and she stops her rambling. “I can afford it.”
“That’s not,” Wanda lets out a breath. “That’s not the point, I mean- why should you buy these nice things for me?”
“Because I can and because I want to.”
“That doesn’t mean you should.” Wanda’s voice is equally as quiet. Natasha simply raises an eyebrow, her eyes sparkling. 
Sitting back in her seat, Natasha watches her for a moment. “What are you doing this weekend?”
“I- what?”
“I believe I asked you a question, Wanda.”
Flushing, she sets her fork down. The topic change has her mind reeling, so Wanda simply chooses to observe the woman across from her for a moment instead. It doesn’t help to clear her mind, but she doesn’t really care. 
Natasha is seated casually, her arms resting on the arms of her chair. She looks regal, her head tilted slightly as those lips quirk at the corners. Her hair has almost dried, only the tips still slightly damp. Wanda has to urge to smell it, to see if she used the same heavenly-scented coconut shampoo. 
“I’m moving up to Seattle.”
“For?”
What’s with all the questions? Wanda hadn’t realized this was an interrogation. A sliver of annoyance creeps up in her mind, but she pushes it away in favor of admiring Natasha’s sharp jawline. 
“I’ve applied to a few internships, I’m still waiting to hear back from them.”
“Ah,” Ms. Romanoff nods, drumming her fingers against the table. “And did you apply for the one I recommended?”
Wanda can’t help but let out a sharp laugh at that. “No, I haven’t.”
“Is there something wrong with my company?”
“No, it’s not that. It just feels like cheating, somehow.” Wanda bites her lip, unsure of how else to answer the woman. Dark green eyes follow the movement and Natasha sits up in her chair slightly. 
“Don’t do that,” Natasha’s voice is hoarse and strained. Wanda’s eyes widen in realization.
Fuck, she wants to hear more of that. Wanda hasn’t seen the woman lose even a small bit of her composure, and yet here she is cracking over a small lip bite. It just makes her want to do it more. 
“What are you gonna do about it if I don’t?”
Those eyes flash, glancing up and meeting Wanda’s. A shiver runs down her spine at the heat behind them. Natasha’s voice is raspy and low, her words slow and sure. “I’ll bite it for you, only much… much harder.”
Wanda doesn’t know what to say to that.
“Before this progresses any further, we need to sit down and have a discussion about our interests and intentions.”
What? Wanda blinks, curiosity blooming. What a cryptic and definitely-not-confusing statement from Ms. blunt-is-my-middle-name. 
“When are you free this weekend?” 
After a moment of hesitation, Wanda’s curiosity wins. She wants to learn all of Natasha’s secrets, unraveling them one-by-one until she finally sees the truest form of the beautiful woman seated before her. This is the first step. 
“I’m free tonight.” 
“Perfect, we’ll fly up to Seattle then. My home is much more comfortable than this hotel room.” Ms. Romanoff’s tone is matter-of-fact, but Wanda is still stuck on one word. 
“Fly?”
“Yes.” There’s a smirk on those lips again, and Wanda finds that she doesn’t quite mind much anymore. “I have a helicopter.”
“We’re flying… by helicopter… to Seattle?”
“That’s what I said. I don’t like repeating myself.”
Wanda flushes, her jaw working slightly. “Why?”
“Because I can.” Natasha grins, and Wanda blinks. She feels like she’s in a daze, but lets out a quick breath. If she doesn’t think about it too much, maybe she can pretend like it’s completely normal for people to buy thousand dollar books and fly to the next city over. 
Fuck that. Natasha Romanoff is anything but normal, and Wanda is surprised at how easily the thought settles within her. She decides to change the subject. 
“Where did you sleep last night?”
If Natasha is surprised by the question, she doesn’t show it. “In the bed, on top of the covers.”
“Oh.”
“Yes, it was quite a different experience for me as well.” Her face is impassive, her fingers trailing down the side of her glass. 
“The not having sex part, or?”
“No,” she shakes her head, her brows furrowing slightly. “Sleeping with someone.”
Wanda blinks again, slowly eating her pancake as she mulls that over. Had Natasha truly never slept with another person in the room? But the woman was obviously not a virgin, not with the confidence in which she spoke about sex and… if Wanda was hers. 
A pleasant shiver runs down her spine, and Wanda resumes eating. She pushes her questions to the back of her mind, studying Natasha as she reads the newspaper. Allegedly, the woman would reveal her secrets tonight… her interests and intention, as the woman had so eloquently put it. 
Now all Wanda had to do was wait.
“Ready?”
Wanda nods, her body brushing against Natasha’s as she slips past her into the hallway. Peeking up at her through her lashes, Wanda bites her bottom lip gently as she suppresses a smile. 
A second date, that’s essentially what tonight will be. She genuinely can’t believe that she’s made it this far, with Natasha Romanoff of all people. Wanda glances over at the woman again, feeling the barest brush of fingers against her hip. It’s intoxicating, and she immediately wants more. 
The elevator dings, and they step in. The elevator is empty, and for some reason, most likely the close proximity in an enclosed space, the energy between them changes. Wanda breathes in slowly, filling her lungs with that addictive cinnamon scent as a charged sort of anticipation fills the space. 
The only thing Wanda can hear is her own heart pounding in her head, the pressure of Natasha’s shoulder against hers sending her senses into overdrive. Wanda turns her head slightly, and sees the other woman do the same. Dark green eyes meet hers, something heady and wanting behind them. The air crackles with tension, and Wanda gently, slowly, bites down on her lip. 
“Fuck,” Natasha growls. In one smooth movement, she presses Wanda against the wall of the elevator. Before Wanda can even process, her hands are being held above her head by Natasha’s strong fingers while the woman’s other hand is gently gripping the back of her head. Her hips are pinning her against the wall, and her fingers tangle with her hair before pulling. 
Wanda’s face tilts up at the action, a gasp escaping her for a moment before Natasha’s lips are pressed against hers. She moans into the older woman’s mouth, not caring if the sound is desperate, and feels a strong tongue moving against her own. 
Natasha’s lips are insistent, practically devouring her with gentle swipes of her tongue and harsh bites to her bottom lip. Wanda has never been kissed like this, so passionately and thorough. 
Pressing her hips against Natasha’s, she smiles into the kiss at the strangled sound that claws its way out of the other woman's throat. Her tongue finally starts to work, tentatively stroking Natasha’s and dancing with hers as another moan escapes her. 
The hand in her hair moves to grasp her chin, holding her in place. Wanda feels helpless, and moans deeper at the thought. God, she has never felt so comfortable or dominated, with her hands pinned and her hips restrained by another woman’s. 
“So. Fucking. Good.” Natasha rasps out, each word accentuated by her lips against Wanda’s. She never wants it to stop. 
The elevator dings. The doors open, and Wanda is suddenly pushed away, the air feeling much colder than it was mere seconds ago. She brings a hand up to cover her swollen lips, and avoids the three smirking businessmen as they enter the elevator. 
Glancing towards Natasha, she glowers. The older woman looks cool and collected, like she’s been sipping tea and doing a boring sudoku puzzle all morning instead of kissing Wanda within an inch of her life. There’s a light flush on her cheeks, and she lets out a slow, long breath. 
Wanda smirks. Not totally unaffected, then. 
The elevator dings again, and the three men get out. The doors take an agonizingly long time to close, and Wanda sucks in a deep breath the moment they do. Natasha turns towards her, eyes bright and her lips sculpted into a salacious smirk.
“Oh, Wanda Maximoff, what am I going to do with you?”
Next Chapter
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meanbossart · 9 months ago
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What is it about Astarion that DU Drow fell for? Which traits/habits/quirks/whatever were the ones that he first noticed/piqued his interest?
Oh boy, I mean, at first DU Drow didn't care for Astarion at all. He was extremely on edge around all of these people and Astarion's rather invasive strategy only put him off further - his insight checks may be awful, but he can still tell when someone is trying to suck up to him a little too hard. DU drow thought he was attractive, of course (see.: the narrator's comment about the quote-on-quote pretty corpse) but otherwise didn't think very much of, or very highly of him.
Once he got his confidence back, and after Astarion caught onto the fact that he needed to play hard to get to string him along, there would have been a little while where DU drow only saw him in the context of a trophy or conquest - but admittedly, he also thought Astarion was funny, and he thought he was smart - even someone as dense as him could see that the guy had read him perfectly, and proceeded to adapt as necessary to get what he wanted out of him - and DU drow fell right into it, willingly so. There would have been some mutual respect there between them from understanding each other's games.
Their ritual of letting Astarion bite him definitely planted a little seed of something too. I've talked about it plenty of times so I won't dwell on it, but DU drow enjoys the intimacy implied in allowing someone to hurt him. This was far from an emotional turning point in the relationship, but it did prompt him to start seeing Astarion differently (not better or worse - just differently.)
(I'm a little drunk and went on and on, enjoy LOL)
Then, after one or two intimate encounters, the Urge would have started taking too much of a toll - violent lust turned into lustful violence, and hence DU drow didn't want to have sex anymore out of a fear of losing control during the act; yet, he had learned to trust Astarion by then and would seek out his comfort and companionship all the same. Faced with the situation where sex is no longer an option, I imagine Astarion would have been caught off guard and let the mask slip more often than usual. Pair that with the fact that DU Drow is a surprisingly affectionate (in private) but highly withdrawn person, left him in the role of leading their exchanges. Astarion, I think, would have felt the need to talk; if for no other reason but to fill the air whenever they were alone together. Eventually DU Drow would have started talking back.
These were long nights of just looking up at the sky and going through things that happened that day, what led them here, what the companions are doing, talking shit about whats-his-or-her-name, often just straight up gossip. Astarion eventually realized he could say whatever he damn pleased in front of DU Drow and nothing seemed to phase him, and vice-versa. DU drow enjoyed his bluntness, his earnest impulsivity that matched his own, he laughed at his jokes (as well as some things that weren't meant as jokes) he enjoyed his teasing and his reactions when he said something putrid in return, he liked the way he smelled when he was clean and he liked his stink when he was filthy, he watched him fidget with his own clothes and hair until Astarion gave him a weird look and aggressively asked what he was staring at. He enjoyed when Astarion got angry at something he said, because it felt very genuine - and he didn't use to think of him as a very genuine person.
Astarion was the first to notice something was wrong with him - so DU drow felt comfortable talking about it openly. On the other hand, DU drow never pressed Astarion about his past unprompted - instead just letting him talk about it if he so wished and without trying to milk it for more details when he did choose to do so. Because they spoke a similar language of violence and operated under the same hedonist-based beliefs, it was easy to talk to each other even when there was friction between them - similarly, they were both always willing to move past and quickly "forget" when someone said something truly hurtful.
I don't know if there was a key moment where he realized this had turned into love; that was probably a word DU Drow dropped quite unabashedly sometime after they got to Baldur's Gate, and before they faced-off with Cazador (to no reciprocation or acknowledgment then, not that he minded). But sometime during act 3, DU drow simply assumed that after this was all over they would still stick together.
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welikeimagines-andfandoms · 10 months ago
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Kinktober Day 26: Overstimulation- Ivar Ragnarsson
Summary: Ivar shows his new wife just how much pleasure a cripple can give her
Word count: 2, 002
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Many people would think that being wed to a prince would be a blessing, especially if he was a brave warrior as well, but those people did not have to marry Prince Ivar. Your mother had assured you that he couldn’t be too bad, but you had heard differently. The many awful stories from many people ran through your mind when you had to walk up that aisle.
Now you sat beside him at the celebration of your arranged marriage and he had still not spoken a word to you. He’d barely even glanced at you since you’d wed five hours earlier, even the kiss he had to give you was barely a peck. Although it was disappointing to have such an inattentive husband, from what you heard it was better than the wrath he could inflict on you.
Despite Ivar’s actions you still managed to have a good evening thus far, his three elder brothers being a lot more charismatic and funny than your new husband. Your previous anxieties were beginning to dull as Hvitserk and Ubbe continued to make you laugh with tales of their childhood and adventures.
While the alcohol seemed to make you feel more excited and Hvitserk and Ubbe to be more funny, it seemed to have the opposite affect on the youngest of the three, Sigurd. The more he drank the more passing comments and glares at Ivar he seemed to dish out. The other two brothers did a good job of distracting you to not notice, but the elder brothers, and unfortunately Ivar, definitely did notice.
So far others had managed to distract Ivar enough that he didn’t react as violently as Sigurd had hoped, that was until a certain comment seemed to cut just a little too deep.
“You know, Y/N, if you ever notice that Ivar is lacking as a husband, I’m more than happy to keep your bed warm in the evening. I mean hahaha I am sorry to say but he is a cripple with a cock that doesn’t work!” He loudly laughed, unknowingly embarrassing himself as he was the only one laughing.
The room stood still, most people in the large hall having heard the suggestive comment.
At hearing such a crass comment you couldn’t help but choke on your wine. It was the forwardness of such a suggestion that caused you to cough out your wine, but unfortunately Ivar thought you were laughing.
“This is my wedding, Sigurd! Y/N is my wife!” His intimidating voice boomed at his brother, startling you slightly.
“Ivar, careful.” Ubbe gently warned as all eyes landed on your table.
With dangerous eyes, Ivar snarled at both you and Sigurd before angrily hobbling away on his crutch.
Even though Ivar was apparently a brute and hot-headed, he was still your husband and you believed his reaction was warranted.
“Wait! Ivar!” You found yourself calling after him as you ran to catch up with the surprisingly fast Viking.
Ivar made you follow him all the way to your shared bedroom, his steps fast and full of understandable rage. If you hadn’t been quick enough to catch the door with your palm, it would have slammed right in your face.
Stepping into the spacious room you make tentative steps towards your rage-filled husband.
“Ivar?…” you quietly call to him.
His head quickly whips around to you, a rage-filled look etched onto his face. Before you could even attempt to calm him, he had you pinned to the door, his strong forearm digging into your chest.
“You are my wife and you laugh with my brother about me.” He angrily growled at you.
“Ivar- I-I…” You began, before his strong hand around your throat stopped you in your tracks.
Seeing your startled reaction to his anger seemed to switch something in Ivar. Though he was infamous for his rage and his bloodthirsty reputation on the battle field, you were his wife and though many saw him as a brute, he didn’t want you to despise him. Ivar had worried what you’d think of him or that he’d ruin his chance at this relationship working out, that’s why he’d been so distant.
His breathing seemed to calm, his breaths coming out in slow huffs through his nose. Though his grip on you loosened and his breathing slowed, he still had a dangerous look in his eye.
His eyes never leave yours as his hand around your throat descends. The light touches across your chest and abdomen surprise you, there was fire in his eyes but grace in his touch. As his hand makes its way to your hip, he grasps it tightly in a strong hold. Though his hold was strong, it was not violent, it was filled more with passion then pure anger.
“What my brother says about me is true, my cock does not work. Though I can not bare you a child, I can however still bring you pleasure and consummate this marriage.” He confidently declares to you.
His gaze was so intense and his voice so powerful, you had not noticed that both of his hands had moved to the neckline of your dress. It wasn’t until you heard a loud ripping sound and you were pulled slightly away from the door that you noticed where his hands had moved to. Your eyes widened and your body shuddered, but whether it was from the strength your new husband had just shown or from the sudden warmth of the fire on your exposed skin, you couldn’t be sure.
Taking his eyes away from yours, they traveled down to your now exposed breasts. His strong calloused hands began holding and squeezing them, looking upon you with marvel.
“You are a beautiful woman, and you deserve someone who can provide you with the pleasure you deserve. Let me show you how much pleasure I can provide.” He tells you, his eyes once again landing back on yours, his gaze softer now.
One of his hands leaves your breast, making its way to cup your cheek lovingly. You lean into his soft touch as he brings his face closer to yours. His lips press against yours in a kiss that is both gentle and passionate. Your tongues do not meet, but he seems to have no problem showing his passion and causing your core to flutter in excitement.
“Take off your dress and lay on the bed for me, my beautiful wife. I will show you just how much pleasure a cripple can give you.” He tells you, his forehead resting against yours as dominance returns to his voice.
Intrigue filled your body and mind as you quickly pushed off the door, the eager way you rush to remove your clothes causing your new husband to chuckle. His eyes never leave your body as new skin is exposed to him.
Finally laying on the soft furs of the large bed, you find your breathing getting heavier just from watching Ivar make his way over to you. Though he walks with support from a crutch, there is still dominance and power in every step.
Finding his place on the edge of the bed, his fingers lightly trace from your ankle to your inner thigh, goosebumps following the path of his light touch. His passion filled eyes meet yours again as his fingers inch closer to your core. Your legs instinctively bend and spread at his touch.
Taking his other hand, his strength surprises you once again as it wraps around your thigh and drags you closer to his seated spot. Your surprised yelp quickly becomes a moan as his fingers make contact with your warm wet core. He has barely touched you and already your body is alight. Dragging his fingers up and down the length of your pussy, his eyes marvel at the way your body responds.
“You’re so beautiful and you’re all mine.” He speaks softly, almost like he’s speaking to himself.
“All yours, Ivar.” Your soft voice speaks up, causing his head to shoot up, like you’re a dream he’s just realised is real.
His eyes become slightly dangerous again as his strong fingers begin to push into and circle your sensitive bundle of nerves. The way your head pushes back into the soft bed and the sweet moan that escapes your lips, drives Ivar wild. He craves to hear more of your sounds as he positions his body to be between yours legs.
Leaning down he begins to bite and kiss your already quaking thighs, desperately trying to pull more of those sounds from your gorgeous lips.
The feel of his fingers on your clit mixed with the hot kisses he leaves all over your sensitive skin is quickly pushing you to your release. You can feel your core tightening, desperate to come undone.
“Oooh-Ooohh! Ivar, I’m gonna cum!” You call out, your nails digging into his strong forearm.
“Mhmmm. Do it, my love. Scream my name and let everyone hear who makes you feel so good.” He demands, the force and speed on your clit growing more intense.
“Oh fuck! Ivaaarrr!” You scream out in pleasure as your head shoots back in pleasure and your nails dig into his skin harder.
As you lay there catching your breath, you barely register your husband manoeuvring your body to lay against his against the headboard, until you feel his fingers on your sensitive clit.
“Ooohh Ivar! It’s too much!” You pathetically cry out.
His strong arm wraps itself around your centre, holding your squirming body still. You attempt to escape the intense pleasure by closing your legs, causing Ivar to growl and bite at your neck.
“Do not deny me your sweet sounds, my darling wife. I wish to draw as much pleasure out of you tonight as your body is able to take. Be good and keep your gorgeous legs open for me.” He growls lowly in your ear.
Though the overstimulation begins to hurt slightly, you can not deny such a command.
Your next orgasm approaches embarrassingly quickly as you loudly shout Ivars names once again, your head slamming back onto his chest. Ivar chuckles delightedly at your state of overstimulated pleasure.
Once again giving you no time to come down from your orgasm, Ivar deftly thrusts two fingers into your wet pulsing pussy.
“Oh fuck!” You shout out in surprise at the intrusion.
Wasting no time, his fingers begin to curl and thrust into you as his arm holding your middle moves slightly to rub your clit. The combined pleasure of Ivars skilful fingers hitting the sweet spot inside you and rubbing deliciously on your clit is too much for your body to handle, and once again your body thrashes and scream out in overstimulated ecstasy.
“No more, Ivar, no more.” You weakly beg him, your mind feeling fuzzy and your body heavy at the way he’s now made you cum three times.
“Just one more for me, my gorgeous princess. I know you can give me one more.” He almost begs you, sweetly kissing the side of your face as his hand strokes along your inner thigh.
“Just one more.” You weakly nod to him.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” He excitedly chants as he kisses your cheeks and his fingers return to your clit.
The light chuckle that his sweet kisses cause are quickly cut off by a loud moan of pleasure. This being the fourth time of the night you will cum, your body takes barely twenty seconds before it is thrown into a feeling of blinding ecstasy once more.
The pleasured scream that leaves your body is animalistic as your body goes completely limp against Ivar. Breathing heavily, your eyes begin to close as you feel sleep taking over you.
“You did so well, my love.” He gently coos as he positions you under the soft furs.
His strong arms wrap around you and you feel a sweet kiss on your forehead before you fall into a blissful sleep.
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manicpixiefelix · 10 months ago
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all this, and love too (will ruin us)
{ One-Shot for head, heart, hand. }
Summary: The night of Oliver's party and both yours and Felix's moods are ruined upon finding out Oliver had been lying to you both for your entire friendship. While sticking with Felix all night to make sure he doesn't maim Oliver, Felix realises he doesn't like sharing you anymore. You're more than okay with this, but Oliver doesn't seem to be okay with sharing Felix, even if he has no say anymore. Canon tries to happen, but you get there first, so you kill the problem at it's source.
Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.
Warnings: MAZE SCENE; death, murder, violence, nongraphic smut, dominant felix, bathroom blowjob, oliver's birthday party situation, oliver being incredibly manipulative, reader being incredibly manipulative back at him, heavy drinking and drug use, You VIOLENTLY Murder Oliver Quick In The Maze.
A/N: 6074 words. oh god these oneshots are only getting longer and longer. whoops. but also PLEASE heed the warnings. this is the Reader Kills Oliver oneshot (first of two) that i was talking about. not sure how i feel about it. its very unedited.
TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)
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On the drive back from his parents' house, Oliver sits in the back. Like a scolded child he keeps his gaze low and voice even lower. None of you speak the entire drive back; you try and focus on the wind in your hair and the hum of the car and not how your stomach is turning. In your mind you see the connections as they light up, small things you'd missed, things that are starting to make a lot more sense.
You wonder what other lies you could have gotten ahead of if Oliver hadn't been so nervous about you going through his file at Oxford.
Every single thing about him was designed specifically to be appealing, to you, of course, but more importantly to Felix. It was meant to be you who knew it all, could see the full board and all the pieces the people around you moved; it was meant to be you who could plan well enough and see far enough out to keep Felix out of situations exactly like this.
Felix is curt and swift the moment he's out of the car, trying to escape Oliver who rushes after him, his desperation echoing through the halls. You're several steps behind Oliver, silent, watching the exchange, watching Oliver cling to an ever-dwindling hope for even friendship, as Felix calls out the weirdness of his ongoing lies, tearing that hope asunder.
"I just wanted to be your friend," is all Oliver can say when pressed about his lies. It's genuine, it breaks your heart, but it doesn't make it better. For a moment, you see conflict as it flashes across Felix's face, but he clearly can't do this right now, needing at least the night, but promising not to tell his family.
As you go to leave, go to follow him, Oliver catches your sleeve, holds it too tight for just a moment -
"I thought you knew," his voice wobbles, but there's something like alarm bells in the back of your mind. Everything about Oliver is purposeful, even now. But you know him, you know how he likes to play.
"No you didn't," you look at his fingers still coiled in your sweater, watch him drop them, "you knew I trusted you." You wouldn't let him shift this blame; the faint dismay you can see in his eyes behind the hurt gives him away. He knew Felix had more emotions than sense, but somewhere along the way he seemed to have forgotten that you were so much more than another adoring fan in Felix's shadow.
"'m sorry," stumbles from his mouth almost like a reaction to the look in your eyes, "for hurting Felix with all this, I- I never wanted that," he shakes his head, dropping his gaze, "or hurt you," tacked on as an afterthought. Both of you know where he was placing the importance of that apology. Everything Oliver Quick does is with purpose.
"I know you are, Oliver," you tell him, standing tall and unflinching as you left him alone.
"If you leave my side tonight I'm going to maim him," is how Felix greets you when you enter your room. Sitting on his bed, you see a little, ornate box open in front of him, and you recognise it as one of the few stashes he had around the estate for desperate times. This one, if you recall correctly, was shoved well beneath Henry the Eighth's bed, and had a decent amount of coke that you'd left here after last Christmas.
"Can't fucking believe- I can't fucking believe him!" He rants, cutting up lines of coke on the little hand mirror Venetia had donated to this particular stash box. Mind working a million miles a minute, you're quiet, letting him rant. Running on autopilot, you begin to strip down to your underwear, pulling out your costume for the night, frowning at it in the afternoon light.
"How complicated is your costume?" Felix asks, finally looking up, gazing over at you and the sheer, shimmering thing in your hands. Without a word, but with a vague shrug, you turn it to him.
The base was like something you'd see at a rave, little more than green underwear, with straps, and beading, and jewels, and loops of green and purple pearls by your hips that would bounce while you walked. The overcoat, though it was far to generous to call it that, was pure gossamer, sheer and green, with hand-stitched silk leaves making up the hem that fell perfectly to your ankles, and intricate, hand embroidery of vines that extended across both shoulders, and both arms, ending with little, purple flowers embroidered by your wrists.
There's large, brown boots with a bit of a hell and some large buckles, and a belt that's half a skirt that hit just below your knee to give you some coverage, at least on your left, sewn to look like it was covered in leaves. Plus a leather thigh harness and flask that Farleigh had gotten you made for your last birthday.
Leaning back, Felix reaches out to feel the gossamer between his fingers, frowning for a beat.
"Don't be precious about it."
For a moment, you frown in confusion. Despite your entire outfit being exquisitely and perfectly tailored, you knew you could afford to not be precious about pretty much anything, even this. But that's never been an outright request he's made.
"I'm not?"
Quiet follows, the soft rustle of your garments as you begin to get dressed, and Felix quickly snorting a line of coke.
"I'm going to lose my fucking mind tonight," he mumbles. Even though you're half dressed, you still lean over his shoulder automatically as he lifts the mirror and the rolled bill up to you like an offering, holding the mirror steady for you.
"I need a drink," you groaned, to which Felix immediately agreed.
"God, why don't we stash anything in here?" He lamented, laying back and watching you head to the door once more while you're trying to do up your belt to hold up your partial leaf skirt, still without your overcoat.
"Because that's tacky and we're not alcoholics." Even with your explanation, Felix pouted. Still, it's a quick trip to the Blue Room and the bottle of rum you're glad Venetia hadn't found in the broken piano.
The night gets blurrier, gets better, with half a bottle of liquor in your veins before the sun even sets. As you're making yourself dreamy and ethereal with glitter and gems and makeup in the mirror, Felix drapes himself over your shoulders, pouting again. The drinks and drugs are already hitting you both and you can hear the revelry beginning outside.
"It's not going to last," he says pointedly, and you're confused until you see him trying to poke at the iridescent eyeliner that wasn't quite dry. Rolling your eyes, you smack his hand away. So he makes his point again, adding, "I'm going to get glitter all over me."
You smirked at him in the mirror, tipping your head against his.
"Don't be precious about it."
A spirit amongst the fairies, you greet your college friends with open arms and boundless enthusiasm, always keeping Felix close at hand. He was more subdued than you, more subdued than many of your friends were used to. Whenever you looked at him, it seemed like his gaze was searching, his expression drawn unless someone had caught his attention, and he wore a smile that seemed to convince them.
"Need a drink," his hand around your wrist and no time to protest, Felix dictated your night and it's pace. Frustration and apprehension keep him tense, even as he tries to loosen up; you feel every time that tension spikes, even if you don't know it's cause. His nails dig into you, wherever he's holding you, shoulder, thigh, arm -
In the bathroom, doing lines with India and some guys who claim to be friends of friends of the Cattons, you're leaning against the sink until you Felix nudge your knee with his own. Looking to the door, you see Oliver in white, taking up it's space. Felix only has to gently tap your thigh for you to shift, sitting in his lap.
"You can't ignore me forever," Oliver tells him, watching you both, watching the way Felix wraps an arm around your middle to hold you close and secure on him.
"I can try," Felix practically sings, his nails sinking into your stomach. With his free hand, he offers you his cigarette, raising it to your lips. You drop your gaze as you inhale, trying to only focus on keeping Felix secure in this moment.
"Felix we need to talk," Oliver insists, "Felix, come on man -"
"Look, man, I tried to be nice -" Felix started, and though you tried to gently warn him, pressing against him with Fi on your lips like you hope he won't say something he'll regret, he just holds you tighter and continues on, "but can you fuck off and bother somebody else?"
India half snorts with laughter in the middle of a line of coke, the others all judging Oliver the longer he lingers in the doorway, but Felix drops his gaze. His lips are on your shoulder to keep from saying anything else.
One of guys whose names you don't know asks who Oliver even was, but Felix can't answer; tension again, maybe anxiety or frustration, but his mouth moves from the gossamer and embroidery on your shoulder to your bare skin above the neckline, where your collar meets your throat. His teeth sting. His nails still sting. He swears under his breath before he lets go.
"Sorry," he mumbles finally, sighing and resting his forehead on your shoulder. You tell him it's okay, voice fond, but when you lean over to do another line of coke, you meet India's reproachful gaze. It takes you a long few seconds to connect the dots, to realise what was going on in her head. You're so fucking over everything tonight.
"You know Farleigh was lying to you about us, right?" You say casually, taking your line and sitting back up. Her eyebrows rise in surprise, "I know you think we're all gross and cousin-incest-y -" you hear Felix's faint laughter behind you, and feel him nudge you with his thigh, silently asking you to get up. Both of you do, and Felix manages his first proper smile of the night, even if it is smug.
"But we're not related," he tells her, "thank fucking god," and smacks your ass as the two of you exit, as if to just prove a point.
You're on your knees in a different bathroom when you hear everyone else start to sing happy birthday, but Felix's voice is a low growl of don't you dare stop, and his hands in your hair. Nothing else matters to you in this state of mind, blurry, pliant, desperate to follow his every command. It's as if you've forgotten what exists outside of Felix's hands on you.
The night becomes lights that are too bright, and music too loud, and laughter and glitter and the warmth of the people dancing around you. After a few hours you feel yourself starting to come down from your high, starting to come back to yourself, still on the dance floor. Venetia's dancing with a blonde boy, looking so pretty, like she's having a genuinely fun night, but when you point it out, Felix takes your hand.
"Don't look at Ven," there's that hunger in his eyes, that firm tone he'd been using all night, "don't touch Ven, don't -" he cuts himself off, wets his lips. Looking around for a moment, he spots something in the crowd that makes him scowl. Just a moment, as you follow his gaze, you see Oliver. The moment your eyes lock with his, however, Felix has his lips on your jaw.
"Fucking mine."
There's half a second where you and Oliver are still locked in this moment, you watch the way his expression starts to shift, jaw tensing, something like anger flickering in his eyes. But you can't bring yourself to give a shit about Oliver as Felix has his arms around you, kissing down your throat with a feverish, almost lewd intensity in the middle of the dancefloor.
"Prove it," and you let him drag you from the house, heading towards the place that had always felt a little special for you both, almost a little magical.
"I'm being selfish," Felix announced as you finally hit the tree line just before the maze, "I don't fucking care anymore, I'm being selfish, about you -!" He turns to look at you, only to see you gazing up at him with starry-eyes, hanging on his every word. He breaks into a sheepish grin momentarily, shaking his head as his voice drops for a moment, "oh, you're fucking loving this, aren't you?"
"I want you so bad right now it's actually embarrassing," you agreed with a wide grin, unable to contain your laughter, despite how genuine the feeling was.
"I'm being selfish," he said once more, muttering it this time, though as you entered the maze and the moonlight peaked down upon you, you could see the blush still upon his cheeks, "I don't want anyone else to fucking touch you again, you hear me?" This time, when he looks at you, he thinks he can see hearts in your eyes; your overwhelming love and acceptance, even for this -especially for this- is making it very hard to keep the stern act up, except -
"Anything you say," you tell him, breathless as you approach the centre of the maze, voice edging on desperate, "anything at all." And you see it hits him just where it had needed to, to hear you wanting and wanton and offering yourself to him -
The gossamer overcoat is ruined, scratched all up the back where you're pinned against the statue, half sitting on the base with your legs around Felix's, your fancy green undergarments around one ankle. His nails scratch down the bare skin of your back, fucking into you with furious intent to match.
"You've always been mine," he groans into your ear.
"Felix -" you whimpered. Immediately he was grinning, lips inches from yours, gazing at you through his lashes.
"How's that proving anything?" He teases, low and knowing, and as his hips snap up to meet yours, you take the hint, his name getting louder and louder on your lips as you almost chant it, till his hand is between you both, helping get you off, and you're close and all but screaming his name and -
"Felix." Not from you. Oliver.
"Oh Jesus Christ!" Felix immediately looks murderous, and not in a fun, sexy way. Oliver's demanding to talk to him while you struggle to pull your underwear back on.
"Could hear you out there," Oliver mumbles, half stumbling over his words, unable to look at you, focused on the dirt by your feet instead.
"Kind of the point, Ollie," you snapped, frustrated and now unsatisfied, but dressed once more.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Oliver?" Felix demanded. Oliver advances on him, presses into his space with desperate eyes and a bottle clutched to his chest. He doesn't look at you, he can't fucking look at you, you don't matter. It's Felix and his emotions who lead every situation the two of you share; it's Felix he has to win back over.
But he should have expected you not to leave, should have expected that when Felix pushed him away, shouted for him to get the fuck away, that you would try and step in.
"He's already got you on a leash, can I just have this one fucking moment?!" He snaps at you; he doesn't hit you but you recoil like he has, and Felix's gaze grows cold. Oliver seems to sense this before he even turns back, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, I just- they already have everything -"
"Back off." Felix warns sharply, but Oliver can't help himself, won't listen.
"I just gave you what you wanted!" Oliver throws himself at Felix, pins him to the statue, their bodies flush and Oliver rambling, "like everyone else does! Everyone puts on a show for Felix..." his voice drops, childish and weak and wanting, and you watch him press himself closer as he turns gentle, "so I'm... I'm sorry if my performance wasn't good enough..."
"I think..." some part of it was working on Felix, his voice soft and placating, "I think you need to see somebody," or maybe he knows by now exactly how Oliver wants him to act; his eyes never leave Oliver's face, even when he doesn't let him go, "you need help okay, seriously -"
"No, no, I don't," Oliver's voice is rising again, "I just need you to understand how much I fucking love you," a tremble in his voice, sounding so raw, so needy, "you're the only friend I ever had, Felix." The manipulation is so blatant it almost hurts; you don't matter to him in this moment, all that matters is saying exactly whatever Felix needs to believe.
"I mean, doesn't this just prove how much of a good friend I actually am? How well I actually know you?" That hope, that dangerous, heartbreaking note of hope that's going to make your skin crawl. But you're not leaving without Felix, and he's not leaving this moment it seemed, "I'm still the same person, yeah? I'm still the same person," he insisted.
A long few moments pass, Felix's gaze searching Oliver's face for something beyond you. But then, finally, his gaze slips to you. All you can do is shake your head.
"Don't-" Oliver murmurs faintly, tipping his head to try and block you from Felix's line of sight, but Felix turns his attention back, expression helpless.
"I don't know what you are," he breathes, "but I do know you; you make my fucking blood run cold."
The fight drains out of Oliver, as does every last drop of hope. He lets Felix push his hands away, makes himself give Felix space to breathe. After a beat, he looks back at you, unsteady on his feet, pain in his eyes, but then he lurches, quickly shoves his half-finished bottle into Felix's hands, and rushes away to be sick.
Oliver is doubled over, retching, when you get to Felix. Before he can raise Oliver's bottle to his lips, you tuck yourself under his arm and wrap him up in a hug. He's trembling, but you feel the bottle against your back. Felix tucks his face into the crook of your neck, tears unspilled, clinging to his eyelashes.
"Better?" You ask forlornly once Ollie had gone quiet.
"Fuck off," he spits, finally coming back around. You watch him over Felix's shoulder, and the glare he levels at you as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand is almost surprising. Still, you try and show the same compassion you knew Felix would in this moment.
"Wash the taste out of your mouth," you try and tell Ollie gently, moving carefully out of Felix's arms, wrapping your fingers around the neck of the bottle he'd brought with him, "I think you should go to bed after." Oliver doesn't even reach for the bottle, but he does stop, looking between it, and then between you and Felix.
"Please," Felix sighs, head bent and bottle clasped tightly in his hand, "I need this."
"We can get another," you tell him quietly, calmly. Felix's gaze flicks to yours, imploring for just a moment, but dropping again when you don't relent. Felix sighs, once more, but finally relents, handing you over the bottle. Which Oliver has kept his focus on, brow now furrowing.
"I gave you everything else of mine, my drink's not even good enough for you anymore, like the rest of me?" He sneers, reaching unsteadily for the bottle in your hands, though his eyes and their focus betray him. Something lights up in the back of your mind, like one of those memories that made far more sense once Oliver's lie had been revealed. Alarm bells once again.
Felix stumbles to a halt -
"Fucking fine -" but as he tries to reach for the bottle again you step out of his range, beginning to see red as you got closer to Oliver, prickling with suspicion, "what is your problem, Y/N," Felix sounds so fucking tired, but all you can see is the deer of a boy before you growing wide eyed as he looks into yours.
"It's Oliver's," trying with all your might to not jump to conclusions, you hold the bottle out, desperately hoping that you'd connected the wrong dots, that Oliver was just drunk and as helpless as he appeared, that he couldn't be this malicious or vindictive-
"You want me to be sick again?" He tries to stand up to you, bottle pressed to his chest and refusing to step back even as you continue to crowd his space, "fuck off." He's seeming more sober, more alert, more with himself with each minute that passes. The distant noise of the party rings in your ears and all you can think about is the cold bottle between you and how Felix had almost -
"Leave him alone," Felix called out, footsteps in the grass sounding as though he was making his way back to the maze, "he's not worth it."
"He's pathetic," you spit, nose to nose with Oliver now, face heating up as hot, angry tears begin to close your vision. Still, you can see in Oliver's eyes that he's finding fewer and fewer ways to escape the situation.
"I don't care what either of youse think of me anymore," Oliver's lip curls as it quivers, trying to play distraught and callous all at once, "go fuck each other to feel like you're not just a fucking waste of space, vapid cunts -" he can see he's touched a nerve by the way your expression lights up with malevolent fury.
"Fi," there's a shake in your voice that you can't even fight, "please leave."
"Can you please come with me," Felix sounds like he's on the verge of tears, and when you turn, he's reaching for you, his hand shaking, "please can we go?" He begs.
An angel. Your best friend. Your everything. Your Felix.
Seeing him like this, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that Oliver's greed and jealousy would rather see Felix hurt than not in love with him, you couldn't let him get away with it. Finally you start to cry, even if you hadn't meant to, and the sight of it has Felix begging for you to leave with him. Oliver starts pushing, demanding that you both fuck off.
"Give me a minute, My Felix," you tell him, trying to smile, trying to reassure him, "I'll catch up."
"I'm not leaving without you."
"I don't want you to see this," you turn back to Oliver with newfound resolution. He's stepped back, leaning himself against the statue, doubled over, head in his hands.
"See what?" Felix asks dubiously, and Oliver looks up, sees the way you're approaching him, and scrambles to straighten his posture.
"Ollie's going to have a little drink," you offer him the bottle again.
"Tryna make me sick again?" He snarls.
"Then use it to wash your mouth out, then swallow," you order coldly, "and repeat until the bottle's empty."
"Why should I?"
"Because it's just as perfectly fine as when you handed it to Felix," you hissed, voice low enough that Felix himself couldn't properly hear. Oliver narrowed his eyes, matching your tone.
"If I don't?"
"What I will do to you, Oliver Quick, will be much worse than whatever you've put in that bottle, so you'll drink it all up," you leaned in, whispering close and menacing, "and if you do throw it up, I will have you on your belly, like the worm you are, sucking your own sick off of the fucking ground."
"What the fuck is going on?" Felix demanded, and you turned, taking a deep breath and hopefully giving a much more convincing, determined smile.
"He made you cry."
Felix's expression immediately changed. All soft and fragile but understanding, he just asks that you don't be long. You promise not to be. Both you and Oliver watching him go.
Once in the clear, you turn back to your captive audience, keeping your voice low.
"I'm not going to make you drink it," you admit, and though Oliver's confused and on edge, he seems to relax, just a little.
"The fuck do you want from me then?"
"I just need to hear you say it," you step back from him, give him space, even step around to place the bottle at the foot of the statue and lean your forehead against the cool stone.
"Say what -?"
"I'm not fucking stupid, Ollie," you groaned, looking at him out of the corner of your eyes, "you think I could hurt you? I ruin lives behind the scenes, I couldn't -" you flail your hands awkwardly, rocking back on your heels, turning to him properly once more. It appears to work, however, as Oliver is now only regarding you warily, instead of seeming actively cautious. "I was... hurt," you admitted, "I know why you said it, but I was hurt to hear you say Felix was your only friend."
"That's not -" he tried, defences lowering further as he attempted to defend himself.
"No, I get it; I've done terrible things because I love Fi, I couldn't imagine," you cast a pitying, apologetic look to Oliver, "him not loving me back."
And it works. He cracks, little by little. The tears begin to form, the lip starts to tremble.
"It's not fucking fair," it already sounds like there's a lump in his throat, "why do you deserve his love?" He scowls, "why can't I? I can be like you, I can be good -" he babbles, sniffling harshly amongst his defiantly sharp tone, "I know I could be," you gently wrap an arm around him and he fists a hand to tightly in your overcoat that it tears, "I was everything he wanted me to be -"
"I know, Ollie, I know," you carefully remove his antlers, holding them in one hand as you coax him in close, running a comforting hand through his hair.
"I wanted him to love me, I wanted- I never wanted him hurt, but wanted him dead so it wasn't my fault if he didn't love me; he couldn't love anyone -" he breaks down into furious tears, "I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. I hate you, I hate that he loves you without you even trying -" there's no apology in his distress, even as he lets you hold him close, and you, for a few more moments, whisper reassuring nonsense. "I never wanted to hurt him," he mumbled softly, "but I wanted to kill him. I could never hurt him," there's anger and guilt in his eyes as he looks up at you, tear soaked and helpless, "but I wanted to hurt you." What you give him in return is pity, is sweetness and apology, but your blood is burning through your veins.
"You would have regretted it."
"I know..."
"Are you lying?"
"I think I am."
You have what you need, the confession, the intention; validation for your motivation. Hook, line and sinker.
"Hey, Ollie, Ollie, darling look at me, I know, okay, I know-" you try, taking his face in your free hand.
"No you fucking don't!" Oliver insists, but you keep insisting, "don't fucking take that tone, I just told you I was trying to kill Felix to hurt you -!" He thrashes, but your gentleness is unrelenting in this moment. You will give Oliver Quick what he deserves.
"Ollie, look at me, okay? Look me in the eyes, please -" you begged, and finally he did, despair and anger all there amongst the tears, "keep looking me in the eyes," you tell him gently, and firmly, and he does, too curious for his own good and wanting to see where this was going -
"Everything," you give him the faintest, reassuring smile, one hand on his face, shaking, messily wiping tears from his cheeks with your thumb as he keeps your gaze, "is going to be -"
- and you ram one of his antlers into his soft, exposed belly with all your strength. Surprise and pain hit him all at once and suddenly he's scrambling, trying to get your hands off of the headpiece. But he's winded, and suddenly in overwhelming pain.
"- fine," you breathe out, shaking with adrenaline. You have him pinned against the statue, just like he'd had Felix only minutes ago.
"Eyes, Oliver," you ordered coldly, while making sure to keep smiling, even as fresh traitorous tears were gathering and already spilling down your cheeks. Hand in his hair coming to grip him tightly, keeping his gaze level with yours, "what did I say? I want you to look me in the eyes -" and you rip the antlers out before plunging them back into his gut. Lips twisting into an animalistic snarl involuntarily, Oliver splutters and fights and squirms but everything is becoming slippery, and warm, and slick with his blood. The antlers, your hands, and his; hard to get a grip like the firm one you had on your weapon of choice.
"Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-" he chokes out helplessly, bloody hands moving up, trying to grip your arms, your shoulders, your face, "how -fuck- why -?"
"Whatever you had in that bottle is too good for you; you tried to kill Felix, you said so yourself."
As his strength begins to fail, the way he holds your face turns tender, almost gentle, before his hands fall back to rest on yours, both gripping the bloody antler. Oliver's weight rests on the statue, watching you with despair and helpless, pained moans. Cheeks wet with tears, you can't even fathom how you're doing this, or who you will be once it's done.
"You are not the minotaur of this maze," you grit your teeth, leaning your weight on the headdress, driving it into his guts until the bloody antler snapped clean off of the headdress, you still can't bring yourself to stop. It doesn't feel like enough. He tried to kill Felix. So you took the other antler in hand, unable to stop yourself, shaking with rage and tears, "you are the dear in my fucking headlights; you tried to hurt Felix, you tried to kill Felix! You are nothing, nothing, nothing," you punctuate each nothing with another bloody, unnecessary jab until you can't keep going. The second antler collapses to the ground, and you stumble back, hands shaking.
"Didn't want to hurt him," Oliver insists weakly.
"You were someone we loved," you can see the first antler still jutting out of him, stemming the blood flow but undoubtedly causing excruciating pain. But you spare him no sympathy, only a look of absolute loathing, finally taking in what you've done, the blood your fury had shed. "Someone I loved!" Burst from you, raw brutal betrayal scraping its way from your throat, face hot and wet with tears, falling to your knees, looking up at him with an exhausted fury, "you will never hurt him again. I will never give you that chance."
But Oliver's quickly unfocusing gaze slips from you, rising to a point beyond you, out into the maze. A weak, faint, but somehow still triumphant smile works it's way across his lips.
"Him?"
Like in a horror movie, you cast your gaze over your shoulder. You hear when Oliver finally gives out, stop holding himself up on the statue and fall to the ground, but all you can see is Felix at the edge of the maze.
And that look in his eyes.
Oh god, what have you done?
"Felix," tears start welling in your eyes again, and finally he looks away from Oliver's body, his own antler protruding from him, slowly bleeding out, to you. From here, he can't see the blood on your hands, the blood that's all over you, but he can see it all over Oliver, "Fi, please, you need to -" but he's stepping towards you, almost automatically; he looks ill. You have to look away, can't bear for him to see what your rage has brought about.
"I'm not," his words are robotic, still a bit slurred, and he keeps looking at Oliver, "going without you. 'said that." But he stops behind you. Eyes closed, you wait, you can't bear to even look at him. Then, slowly, he moves. When you breathe, it makes you shake, but you slowly open your eyes.
Felix approaches Oliver. You watch the faint, far away smile wears as he sees Felix up close once more.
"Fe-lix," he sighs faintly, reaching out with weak, shaking, bloody hands, feather light finger tips leaving red streaks along Felix's cheeks, his jaw, his lips. Felix's head dips in close, into Oliver's aching touch, his forehead resting against Oliver's in this moment.
"You were going to fucking kill me, Ollie?" Felix whispered through clenched teeth, on the edge of tears.
"'m sorry," Ollie mumbled weakly, shock and blood loss catching up with him as he struggled to keep his eyes open, "didn't want to hurt you."
"You wanted to kill me -"
"It wouldn't hurt."
"It would have hurt them!" Felix grabbed him by the collar with one hand, wrenching the dying boy up enough to see him pointing at you, still kneeling on the ground, second bloody antler laying in front of you. All Oliver could do was make a pained whimper, and Felix dropped him back to the ground, "and you said it yourself-" his voice is venomous, but your breath catches as you realise just how much he must have heard to know that, "and even having a thought like that," he snarls, hatred burning in his eyes, "means you don't fucking know me at all."
Felix is by your side in the very next moment, pulling you into his lap as he leaned back against the base of the sculpture. You're sobbing into your bloody hands, nothing else to do or say. Even as he's shaking, as he's crying too, Felix doesn't let you go, doesn't let you feel anything but secure with him.
"You saw it all, didn't you?" You whispered finally, and feel him nod.
"I said I wouldn't leave without you."
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry -" and while he tells you that you don't have to be, the words, the fears, the desperate justifications and rationalisations pour out of you, "he said he was trying to kill you, Fi, and I couldn't- I should have walked away, just gotten him kicked out or taken away or- or- but I couldn't," you gasped, "I couldn't let him ever have that kind of chance again, I couldn't risk that, my mind wouldn't let me -"
"I know, I love you," Felix murmurs weakly, his forehead against your shoulder once more, "dad and Duncan will know what to do, they'll take care of it tomorrow," he sounds so young in this moment, so tired and fragile. You nod quietly, leaning into him. When his hands find yours, threading your fingers together and holding on tightly, Oliver's blood is still sticky on your skin. Neither of you seems to care.
"How did you know something was so wrong?" Felix finally asked, the air cooler and quieter now. You have no idea how much time has passed, but it sounds as though the party was winding down. Oliver's party.
"He wasn't that drunk," you said after a long moment of deliberation, "could see it in his eyes," taking a deep breath, you cast your gaze to the guest of honour, completely still, chest no longer shifting with shallow, frantic breathes, "if he wasn't drunk, why was he sick?" Sighing, you leaned into Felix. You felt so hollow; "everything Oliver Quick did, he did with purpose."
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aayakashii · 5 months ago
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Please I beg for Rui crumbs *violently shakes my tin can*
Anything will do
Please 😩
/also hello :3
HELLOOO
I offer you 🤲 rui angst and mild yandere-ism
I'm gonna be honest: I wrote this half asleep so I might change some things later and I will probably expand on it to make a longer fic just of him suffering( ¬ ̀᎑ ¬ ) so this is just a liddol taste for now!!!
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Rui knew you didn't take him seriously.
He knew what he looked like, what he sounded like. He had a full length mirror and, even if he didn't, he was pretty sure Ed would be more than pleased to rub it in his face.
Rui knew he was the spitting image of a player. Flirting came naturally to him, winks and flying kisses were mere greetings.
He knew very well that, at some point, his host club image became a way to cope with his curse – since he couldn't ever touch anyone, unless he wanted them dead, what was the harm in being just a little bit more forward, right?
One thing he didn't account for, is how you'd see right through him. You managed to see beyond his carefully crafted mask of nonchalance – not as an irredeemable flirt, but as someone who would gladly trade all the attention he gets from his antics for a way to free himself of his awful curse.
While he acted like he's used to his fate, you saw how inside he was constantly clawing his way out of despair.
Rui didn't really know when the messages he sent your way started stirring his insides. He didn't know when his groin began to feel uncomfortable at the thought of you on his bed, at his mercy (or maybe he could be at your mercy, who knows? He'd be more than willing to adapt).
What he knew very well, much to his chagrin, is that his comments began to feel more and more like truths, rather than harmless flirting.
Suddenly, his fingers hovered a little longer on his phone's keyboard – write, erase, write, erase and write again. Typing a simple message became so difficult when the words mattered, when Rui wanted you to believe his words.
And as he saw the way your hands ran through Lyca's hair while you brushed it before school, he felt the thorns of a feeling, green and rotten, pierce his core relentlessly – the last nail on his coffin of insufferable pining.
Rui, then, thought: how could he finally convince you that he, more than anyone else, truly wanted to know you?
How could he prove that he wanted you to sleep every single night in his dorm, even if he couldn't touch you?
That he just needed to know he was breathing the same air as you – becoming one with you through atoms and chemical reactions, since he couldn't through a kiss.
How could he tell you that he was all yours to take if you wanted to?
It was something new, this longing. And staying awake for so long became a torture, because even as he cut the branches of his plants or cleaned his bar, his mind still went straight to you. 
Would you prefer a sweeter beverage, or a bitter one? 
Would you like the taste of the new drink he was concocting? 
Would you try some of his favorite creations? 
Would you please drink from one of his cups so he could just never wash it again and find a bit of reprieve through an indirect kiss and–
Oh… Yeah… He was losing it.
After all, the world wasn't unfair when it gave him that awful curse. The world was unfair, however, when it sent you his way and prohibited him from touching you like he needed to.
And he desperately needed to be able to hold you in his arms, until he couldn't tell when his body ended and yours started, in order to quench the madness that brewed, so dangerously close to boiling, inside his core.
176 notes · View notes
veilofaponia · 4 months ago
Text
Actions Better Left Undone
yan chrollo x reader
word count: 1.5k
warnings: yandere content, kidnapped reader, unhealthy relationship, shitty first fic
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The constant thumping of your heartbeat drowns out the sounds of the movie playing on the television. You’re surprised Chrollo hasn’t noticed (or atleast, commented on) how violently your heart is beating against your ribcage.
You try grounding yourself. Deep, slow breaths, occupying yourself with your hands, focusing on the movie playing in front of you on the screen. Focusing on anything but the man sitting comfortably next to you. The way the air feels heavy with his presence. The way his cologne is the only thing you can smell. The way how when you accidentally make eye-contact with him, he simply gives you an easy smile in return.
It does little to reduce your stress. If anything, it just makes you feel more uneasy. Even if there’s no actual proof, there’s just the underlying feeling that he knows. That he’s feigning ignorance just to see what your next course of action will be. Whether you’ll confess your wrongdoing to him (if you can even call it that), or if you’ll remain stubborn and pretend you did nothing of the sort.
Back in highschool, you and your friends would combine bobby pins and paperclips to make lockpicks. Then, you’d unlock the lockers of strangers in your school and fill them with fake letters and secretly giggle at their reactions. In the past, you were embarrassed of how you acted back then. But now, you can’t help but feel a sense of relief and pride that you developed a talent for creating makeshift lockpicks.
Chrollo had supplied you with hair ties and bobby pins when you complained about your hair constantly getting in your face. You felt a bit suspicious at first. Surely he knows bobby pins can be turned into low quality lockpicks. Yet you’d brushed it off, simply deciding he must’ve thought the lock to be of too secure.
You knew this too. There’s no way he wouldn’t have settled for the highest quality when it came to the lock that keeps you confined. But even then, when you came across paperclips in a little container on his desk, it was hard to resist. Without thinking too much of it, you’d already made a lockpick. The rational part of you told you not to bother; what would such a cheap alternative do against a heavy lock? But you had to try, right? It’d be a wasted opportunity otherwise, wouldn't it?
That’s what you told yourself when you inserted it into the lock and continuously tried to twist it open. You opted to try your luck while Chrollo was in the shower; the time at which he might come was always irregular, but you noticed the amount of time he took cleaning himself was constant. You spent minutes messing with the lock, but it showed no signs of budging. Just as you heard the running water shut off, the lockpick snapped. Part of it was stuck inside the lock, while the rest was in your clenched hand. With no other options coming to mind and time running out, you walked away from the door and pretended not to have done anything.
All this brings you back to your current predicament: sitting next to your tormenter on an expensive couch while a romcom functions as white noise for your overactive thoughts.
He’s definitely going to notice. He’ll know there’s something stuck in the lock. He’ll immediately realize I tried to escape. He’s going to punish me he’s going to punish me he’s going to—
“Are you okay, dearest? You’ve been acting off all evening."
Chrollo’s steady voice breaks your train of thought. You just blankly stare at him. It takes you a few moments to regain you ability to speak and give a somewhat solid response.
“No– I mean– Yeah, I’m fine. I just have a headache, that’s all.”
He looks to be considering your answer for a second. He wants to pry for more, because there’s definitely something off. But he merely blinks and responds softly with “I see.”. Then he redirects his attention back to the movie.
A wave of relief washes over you when you conclude he believes your (rather weak) lie. Just as you think you’ve managed to escape the topic, he strikes again.
“If it's that much of a bother, I could get you some painkillers.”
“Oh. Okay, sure.”
He pauses the movie and stands up. You assume he’s going to start walking to the bathroom, where the painkillers are usually kept. Instead, he starts walking towards the door and putting on his shoes. Panic shoots through you. You don’t do a good job at masking it. Sensing your confusion, Chrollo steps in and offers enlightenment.
“We’re all out,” Your blood runs cold. “I’m going to buy some more at the store.” He explains, while now putting on his coat.
You abandon all ideas of trying to remain calm and instead hyperfocus on your next objective: get Chrollo to stay inside so he won’t discover you tried to get out. Granted, it's just delaying the inevitable, but if he notices tomorrow morning while you’re still sleeping, he probably won't wake you up and maybe he’ll be less mad when he returns.
“No! N-No need, really! I’ll be fine, so there’s really no need to go out now. You should just stay inside, the weather isn’t very nice either. I’d hate to be such a bother.”
Chrollo himself remains composed, but his eyes give away how amused he is at your pitch.
“How sweet of you to not want to inconvenience me,” Gross. “but you were shaking heavily,” He’s reaching for his keys. “It pains me to see you like that,” He’s going to put his keys into the hole. “So don’t worry, I’ll gladly buy you— Oh.”
The keys don't fit into the hole. Because of the lockpick in it. That you got in there. Because you tried to escape.
You take a good look at Chrollo’s facial expression while he inspects the keyhole. He looks perplexed, but then again, he’s a great actor, so it’s hard to tell when he’s being genuine.
He sighs. He must’ve figured out what happend. Or maybe he’s just pretending he didn’t already know.
He begins to slowly take off his coat and shoes. You’re convinced he’s doing this on purpose; dragging the process out so you’ll be left anticipating what comes next for longer. You think to come up with another weak excuse or an awkward joke to ease the tension in the air.
Your lips part to speak, but immediately close again upon seeing the expression on his face as he walks back to the couch.
He’s not mad, no, he’s good at regulating his emotions. But there’s an odd look in his eyes that wasn’t there before, one that says more than you need to know. He’s not happy with your stunt.
Your heart is pumping blood through your body at an insane speed. Your breathing is becoming rapid and shallow. You redirect your gaze to the paused film on the television screen.
Chrollo sits down next to you. He doesn’t speak at first. He just fixates his eyes onto your figure while you continue staring at the screen.
After a moment of silence which feels like an eternity, he speaks.
“How did you create the lockpick?”
“I combined the bobby pins and paperclips on your desk.” Your voice is barely above a whisper.
“Did you think a lockpick like that would be enough to grant you an escape opportunity?” He sounds curious, but you’re guessing he’s just asking to embarass you further.
“Well, not really, but…” You can't think of a reasonable explanation.
He chooses not to linger on it and instead asks his final question. “When did you try to pick the lock?”
You mutter your answer. “When you were showering.”
“Oh? Wouldn’t it be smarter to try when I was out?”
“You always lie about when you’re going to get back. If I tried while you were showering, I could hear when you were done and if the lockpick didn’t work I'd just take it with me and walk away from the door.”
He hums in acknowledgement, but says nothing more. Your explanation seems rather flimsy now. You hadn’t considered the lockpick breaking, and you had no way of getting it out.
He’s stopped questioning you. You wish you could peer into his mind to see his thoughts, because yours are only causing you more stress.
If he’s displeased with you, he’ll reprimand you somehow, won’t he? You can’t imagine him getting violent with you, but the countless possibilities there are can’t be much better.
To give yourself some semblance of grounding, you meekly ask him “What are you going to do?”
His smile doesn’t reach his eyes when he answers. “That all depends on you. If you can make it up to me... then perhaps I’ll go easy on you.”
His reply doesn’t comfort you. Instead, now you’re left fretting about how much of your pride you’ll have to throw away to please Chrollo and soften your punishment.
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sabo-torao · 3 months ago
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Small disclaimer before you head in: this whole post will be referencing the TCB translation. I know VIZ handled the exchange I'm discussing differently, but I couldn't find anyone who talked about the original version and as a result I don't really know who is closer to the original meaning. In any case, the "analysis" should still stand. Whether Dragon was commenting Sabo's firmness or admiring his resolution, Sabo's still putting on a mask, and that's the point I'm trying to break down. Enjoy!
This very specific interaction between Dragon and Sabo in chapter 1083 has always stuck out to me.
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"My, you really are unshakeable."
which is an appropriate response to what Sabo said, of course. What kind of sensitive person reacts that way to the death of an innocent, right?
Even so, I can't help but compare the thing Sabo said to his actual, genuine reaction to King Kobra's death.
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He's devastated.
Sabo brokenly screams Kobra's name, and his expression is one of full despair; he never thought about killing Kobra, let alone letting him die. On the contrary, he actively tried to save him.
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Kobra told him to just let him go, that he was dead weight and he shouldn't be concerned about him, but Sabo straight up refused. In fact, Kobra's actions read way more as a sacrifice than an inevitable death; the king let himself die, knowing that this way Sabo could flee and reach Vivi and Luffy safely.
On the Lulusian ship, we see Sabo think about Kobra's last words to him and actively trying not to cry (and failing).
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That's not an unshakable man. He's suffering, he's grieving. He realizes he failed his very own mission of saving the king and lets the meaning behind Kobra's actions and words sink in.
It really puts his former reaction into perspective.
Sabo's firmness, seriousness and coldness in front of Dragon and Ivankov are nothing but a façade. He acknowledges that what he's about to say might come off as harsh, and that, even if he does feel sorry for Kobra, the tragedy doesn't weigh him down thanks to the results it brought, but it all sounds like he's reassuring himself more than actually showing his indifference.
Hell, he even drinks his glass of wine right after having said that "he doesn't really care". How can anyone take his words seriously?
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And we've been knowing Sabo is inclined to do this sort of thing since Dressrosa; he acted all cool and composed in front of Luffy but the second Koala called him on the Den Den Mushi he was weeping, having a hard time believing that his little brother didn't punch him or hate him for being alive all along. He even denied he was crying!
All because Sabo hates being seen as vulnerable, especially in front of the people he thinks he has to be strong for (Luffy, Dragon, etc). It's something I think goes back to how his parents treated him, since they scolded him for, y'know, having emotions and being a normal kid in need of love, but i digress.
I once saw someone describing Sabo as a very cold person in comparison to his brothers, even going as far as to say that Sabo doesn't care if people die if it means achieving the Revolutionary Army's goals (using this very interaction as proof), which couldn't be further away from the truth.
Bonney even says outright that it's weird seeing a "radical revolutionary" act so friendly when Sabo helps her out. Why would he do this if all he ever did was for "The Cause"?
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Yes, Sabo is ruthless, rude, violent at times, and his friendly demeanor could be seen as a little more volatile than that of his brothers', but he's not heartless. He's not a "meanings to an end" guy, he proves it time and time and time again, and it's disheartening seeing people label him as such.
Sabo is kind. He may not be as warm as Ace and Luffy, but he is fundamentally a good person. A generous, kind, caring, sensitive person.
No matter how hard he tries to hide it.
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shantechni · 1 year ago
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No one asked, but my favorite part of the scene where Mikey comforts Leatherhead in front of his brothers isn't just that they're witnessing it.
It's the varying reactions we get.
It's a literal "blink and you'll miss it" moment, but Raph hardly reacts to Mikey's display; he's the first to turn to Donnie and signal him to inquire about the power cell.
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We've seen how he looks when Mikey genuinely catches him off guard, and this isn't one of those moments.
It's fitting that Raph would be the least surprised by the spectacle because he's often portrayed to be the one who best understands Mikey, even in the 2012 comics when Leo and Donnie scold Mikey for his lack of focus in one issue (there are other examples). While they argue with Mikey, Raph is seen chilling in the background because he doesn't have that big of an issue with Mikey's attention span, and he even calls Mikey out when he claims he's not bothered by their comments as he walks out in irritation. He then goes on to scold Leo and Donnie later for running Mikey off as they look for him. He may be the biggest culprit when it comes to calling Mikey out once his attention starts to stray, but contrary to what he said in New Friend, Old Enemy, he understands Mikey quite well, sometimes better than anyone else.
So seeing Mikey pull the therapist card on someone isn't out of the ordinary for him. He knows Mikey well enough to anticipate something like this.
Leo's next in line for actually reacting very subtly to Mikey pulling Leatherhead out of his headspace.
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His eyes are already widened by the time the camera pans back to him, but they widen an extra notch before he too turns back to Donnie.
Leo has borne witness to Mikey's skills plenty of times prior to this episode, and we can take their decade-and-a-half spent underground into consideration, so seeing Mikey behave so compassionately doesn't strike him as anything supremely noteworthy. But he's clearly impressed that Mikey managed to befriend the hostile mutant in such a short amount of time; he recognizes that his youngest brother is mentally intelligent and strong enough to calm down the easily angered Leatherhead while no one else thought it to be feasible.
It surprises him, but Leo understands that Mikey is the most sympathetic out of all of them, and he doesn't take long to get over his surprise.
Donnie, on the other hand, takes the longest amount of time to move on from what transpired.
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Unlike Raph's lack of feedback and Leo's mental approbation, Donnie is awestruck.
As I said before, I highly doubt this is anyone's first time seeing the level of maturity Mikey has, but (and it's a very close race) Donnie's the main one out of the brothers who both accidentally and purposefully sees Mikey as the tactless, accident prone little brother everyone makes him out to be most of the time. Though he knows Mikey is proficient at critical thinking when he's needed to be, bringing in a mutant with violent tendencies and perceptible trauma that gets triggered by the mention of a name isn't a territory they've frequented.
And yet, much like Leo, he sees for himself that Mikey was clearly capable of mellowing Leatherhead out and knew how to steer him away from his horrendous memories with the Kraang.
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tac-the-unseen · 7 months ago
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What the Lost boys think about vampire related media
Fluff, x reader but just barely
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•While making conversation with your four Vampire lovers you were suddenly plagued with a question.
“How do you guys feel about vampire related media?”
-That question was an immediate head turner. The cave goes dead quite before Dwayne speaks up, “Well…vampires are in hiding so…”
-This sparks a conversation about how media representation of vampires may not be accurate, but that's a good thing. “If a book or movie comes out and it is shockingly accurate to what being a vampire is really like, the creator isn't going to last long.” David explained
-That's because there's a set of rules vampires have to follow and one of those rules is to never publicly reveal your double life identity
-”If something like that comes out, that means a vampire has broken that rule OR somebody knows vampires very closely and is creating media they know shouldn't exist.”
-Turns out if a vampire breaks that rule it's basically open season to kill and destroy their creations.
•You turn the conversation and begin to ask how they, specifically, feel about certain vampire representation
•Bram Stoker's Dracula
-Dwayne is the first to buy in his opinion.
-Dwayne feels that while it is a cult classic and well written, The characters are exceedingly dumb.
-”Johnathan spends a ridiculous amount of time talking about other characters ‘Breasts’ and trying to figure out why his host climbs walls ‘like a lizard's.”
-David is the next one to speak up
-David thinks it's not really worth the read
-”Unless you're trying to brag to people there's no point in reading it.”
-”Also why was Mina talking to that old sailor so much?”
-Paul laughs as he remembers “how fucking crazy he wrote Dracula to be”
-”I'm pretty sure the real Dracula thinks it's a heinous crime against him”
-Paul hasn't read it but have heard enough about it to know even the more obscure references
-Marko comments on the graceful writing style and the beautiful descriptions
-”I've only read it because Dwayne thought I would like it"
-Marko also loves how oblivious Jonathan and most of the other characters are
-All of them think the movie adaptation is hilarious and love the shitty special effects
•Interview with a vampire
-Paul chimes in immediately
-”God it's so homo erotic it hurts…in a good way.”
-Paul thinks its a nice horror novel mixed with a weird cozy atmosphere
-Dwayne thinks it's another well written classic and He actually begins to rave about all the themes involved within Anne Rice’s work
-”It's a beautiful Gothic thriller with a deep, sadly comedic energy.”
-He even offers to read it too you sometime
-Marko chimes in quickly about “Claudia’s rebellious behavior and persona”
-”imagine watching your family choose somebody else over you. It's so deeply upsetting but to an understandable level.”
-”I would have hated to turn so young. I look like a teenager and other people can respect that to a certain point. But being five years old with the mind of an adult, No one would respect you.”
-Marko relates to Claudia on an internal level and loves unraveling her character. When you ask why he quickly responds "Some people call me a cherub... You think I enjoy that?"
-David says he doesn't have much to say other than it was a decent read (That's his version of a compliments)
•Twilight
-All of them agree that it's laughably horrendous
-Almost immediately at the same time they say “This is the skin of a killer Bella”
-This leads to banshee like laughter
David speaks up immediately
-”Why do you humans want us to sparkle so bad?”
-”I personally hate the idea of being a walking disco ball, but to each their own.”
-Marko chimes in quickly
-”Would you like it if we sparkled?” He asked while leans on you affectionately
-Marko thinks the only reason to read it is to have a nice laugh
-”Why did Edward have such a violent reaction of Bella standing by a fan? That makes no sense…like I have mates and I enjoy the smell of you guys but…I'm not nearly clawing off my face at your smell”
-”Yeah yeah, I get he's trying not to overreact but running out of class to get away is crazy.”
-Paul even adds that even thought it's very dumb even he can appreciate the message it's trying to said.
-”something something, coming over adversary, something something, love wins, something something..”
-”Also that Jacob imprinting on Bella's infant daughter is super fucking creepy.”
-when you asked Dwayne about his feels he scoffed and said It's insulting at best and borderline sexual harassment at worst.
-He refused to go into depth
•You thank them for humoring you and they tell you that it's no problem
-David kisses the side of your head in an uncharacteristically soft way “We don't ever mind answering your vampire related question.” He tells you
-Marko turns to you “But seriously do you want us to sparkle?”
-”I think I have some roll on body glitter somewhere..” Paul says while getting up to look for it
Thanks for reading <3
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neocrias · 6 months ago
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really nice guy who only hates you
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Summary : Jeno hates you and always makes it clear, but you don't care because the feeling is mutual. Until one day, your mutual friends set you up and the unwanted encounter ends in a way neither of you could have imagined.
wc: 4,6K gênero: fluff; kind of haters to lovers; slightly suggestive
Jeno doesn't know why he hates you so much, but he definitely hates you.
From the minute you walked into the arcade, walked into the hangout of his friends, clinging to Jaemin's arm and pretending to be all cute and innocent, he knew he didn't like you and decided to make it clear. Jeno didn't look in your direction when you spoke, he didn't laugh at your jokes - even though his whole group of friends thought it was funny - and whenever he had to talk to you he was harsh and rude.
He never bothered to be at least a little polite to you and there were many times when he bumped into you on purpose just to annoy you. He succeeded every time, by the way. 
Also, you were never a very patient girl and this only worsened the hostile atmosphere between the two of you. 
Maybe it was your very confident manner, or your different style, maybe it was the way you gestured when you spoke... Jeno doesn't know what it was, but he knows he hates you. And if he could do everything he wants, surely, "spill a bucket of paint when you pass him in the hallway" would be the first thing. Oh, he longed for the moment when he could tear the confident, self-centered expression off your face, removing all the happy sparkle from your eyes was his biggest dream.
You hated it too. So maybe the enmity was reciprocated, but you knew it wasn't. You didn't hate Jeno, not in the same way he hated you, but you sure hated the way he treated you.
He never bothered to be even a little polite to you and there were many times when he bumped into you on purpose just to annoy you. He succeeded every time, by the way. You were never a very patient girl and that only made the hostile atmosphere between the two of you even worse.
One day you went to see the new cafeteria that opened on the university campus.
At first the whole group would go, until everyone, one by one, canceled. Leaving only you, Jaemin and Jeno to go alone. Of course, none of the three bothered to check the group chat conversations, so the reaction of disgust you and Jeno had when meeting each other was too dramatic and annoying even for Jaemin – who has always been very patient and playful with your mutual hatred.
That day, however, he didn't want to hear about the bullshits between you, feeling too tired to deal with it. Jeno didn't take the hint and made sure to hit the bottom of your glass when you went to drink your juice, consequently dirtying you on purpose. You also didn't act as polite as you should’ve and on impulse threw all the rest of your cold drink in his face in retaliation.
— I told you, man — Jeno commented when you shot back. The boy wiped his face with his hands and then twisted his wet shirt with an arrogant look and proud of the reaction he managed to get out of you. He was talking exclusively to Jaemin, his best friend, as if you weren't by their side. — She hides behind this sweet girl façade, but she's stupid.
— YOU are stupid, stupid asshole.
— You don't even know how to curse —  Jeno crossed his arms, being the arrogant bastard he's always been with you. He had a sneer gracing his thin lips and an eyebrow raised in defiance.
You wanted to rip that evil smile off his face in the most violent way, but you prioritized your friendship with Jaemin and only for that reason you made an effort to have a greater tolerance for the boy's teasing, unfortunately you lost control this time and already felt the guilt because of the disappointed look Jaemin gave you.
— Jaem… — you called in a restrained voice, pouting your lips when your eyes filled with tears of anger and frustration, you tried to hold back the tears, refusing to cry in front of Jeno.
The blond let out a heavy sigh and rubbed his temples hard, looking at you with the most tired and annoyed expression. — That's it, let's go.
— Oh, what's up!? — Jeno complained nervously. — Are you going to stay by her side even when she does shit?
— You're the one who started it — Jaemin warned.
— It was just a joke — Jeno said.
— A joke, my ass — you grumbled and Jeno gave you an angry look, silently yelling at you to keep your mouth shut.
— I'm tired of you two — Jaemin complained. The blond chattered endlessly, complaining about you at such a fast speed that the two of you missed half of the scrambled words. — Act like an adult at least once in your life and stop messing it up for everyone.
This happened a few weeks ago. About the same number of weeks you don't see Jaemin, or the other boys in the group. It's not that they're purposely excluding you. You're just too ashamed of your lack of control to face any of them, especially your best friend.
Even remembering it makes you angry. Because of the damn Lee Jeno you don't even have the courage to look at Jaemin and what makes it worse, is the knowledge that he's only like that with you.
You see how Jeno is so kind to everyone else, always offering to help anyone who needs it, even the ones he doesn't know, always promoting group study sessions for friends who are struggling, and you've been actively excluded from all the sessions by him. Jeno has even driven his car over a puddle of water just to get you wet, when earlier that same day he handed over the umbrella to a pair of freshmen to get home without getting wet.
Tired of feeling lonely and miserable, you decided that you would go after Jaemin today. You felt the need to apologize for your behavior before, even after the boy asked you incessantly to have a little more patience.
The walk to Jaemin's dorm was very quick, taking no more than 15 minutes at a slow pace, and the cool spring weather was an incentive for his apology. Without realizing it, you arrived in front of the small and old dull yellow apartment, the doorman didn't even bother to announce your presence, already used to you wandering around the building. Tired of feeling lonely and miserable, you decided that you would go after Jaemin today. I felt the need to apologize for your behavior before, even after the blond asked you incessantly to have a little more patience.
— I haven't seen you in a while! — he greeted.
— Hi, Mr. Choi — you replied with a sympathetic smile. — Is Jaem home?
— Oh, yes. He arrived a few minutes ago, you were lucky. 
With a restrained thank you you took the stairs up to the third floor, where he shared an apartment with Renjun, a design student, and Jisung, a freshman in the dance course.
You give three rhythmic knocks on the door, his trademark and after a few minutes of waiting, Jaemin appears disheveled and with swollen eyes. 
— Thank God, I thought you were going to run away from me forever — he complained, but he wasn't mad, and pulled you into a tight hug. 
— I was embarrassed — muttered. — I know I promised I wouldn't do anything stupid, but…
— But Jeno won't give you a break — Renjun shouted from the couch.
— You didn't have an internship today? — you asked. 
— I traded my time off with Soohee — he replied simply.
— That's weird, you know? — Jisung, who was coming back from the kitchen, eating another one of his many packages of ramen, asked rhetorically. — Jeno hyung is usually very nice and kind, I don't understand why you guys are like that... 
— Because he hates me!
— That's the problem, Jeno hyung doesn't hate anyone.
— Well, there's a first time for everything, I guess.
Jaemin remained silent during the conversation and sat down next to Renjun on the couch, going back to paying attention to the movie they were watching before you arrived.
— I’m really really sorry, Jaem
— Don’t be. He had it coming — Jaemin comforted you, pulling you to sit with them and watch the movie. Suddenly, everything was fine again.
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— Dude, I think you're crossing the line with her — Chenle complained about the drama between Jeno and Jaemin's best friend.
The Chinese didn't understand what his friend had against you, in fact, Chenle liked you. To him, you were a nice, funny, decisive girl, you knew very well what you wanted and you didn't give much confidence to anyone who wasn't your friend. This, of course, gave you a bad name in the halls of college during integration week, some upperclassmen didn't like being continually let go by you, so they made up a rumor or two out there, but you never cared. Chenle admired that. 
— Fuck, even you, dude? — Jeno was unhappy. No one was on his side, and he began to question whether he was really overreacting to you. This made him hate you even more, again for no reason.
— At this point it just seems like you can't control that you're like SUPER into her — Haechan proves.
— Not everyone is a weirdo like you who likes to make girls cry, Haechan — Jeno pinched the tip of his nose.
— Not everyone — the brunette agreed — but you sure do.
Chenle let out a loud laugh, amused by Jeno's irritation, but he couldn't help but think about how Haechan's theory made a bit of sense, so the Chinese asked incredulously. — Dude, are you seriously into her?
— Of course not, idiot. 
— So you're intimidated by her? — Chenle insisted once more, and that only made Jeno even angrier. Jeno rolled his eyes hard and crossed his arms uncomfortably and replied with an arrogant voice.
— Intimidated by what?
— Well, she has a reputation.
— So? 
— SO you are afraid to get dumped by her? 
— Ugh! As if!
The two boys continued arguing heatedly as Jeno grew more and more annoyed, which only amused Chenle more and more and made the Chinese man laugh loudly. Eventually, Jeno got up and locked himself in his room, slamming the door hard to make his anger clear.
Haechan smirks and Chenle realized right away that their older friend was planning something bad – or good, if seen from the right point of view. 
— What are you planning?
— Only good things — Haechan replied. Then the two exchanged complicit glances and smiled mischievously at each other, already knowing where they wanted to go and immediately agreeing to the plan.
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haechan created the "genius idea" group haechan added renjunnie haechan added Jaemin
jisung: I don’t think this is a good idea, hyung
haechan: Don’t be a pussy, jisung
Jaemin: no, he is right, haechan-ah that’s a terrible idea
haechan: Jaemin, trust me a little, ok? I know what I'm doing, man!
Jaemin: i don't think so… rejunnie: maybe he’s right
haechan: I’m always right, man.
chenle: My thought exactly
Jaemin: i should know you’ll be involved on this you little brat
chenle: You know what they say: great minds think alike
haechan: Come on, he’s so into her. It’s getting stupid!
renjunnie: what could go wrong? they already hate each other…
jisung: So… what do you think, hyung?
Jaemin let out a tired, thoughtful sigh. He knew that this was definitely not a good idea, but maybe it was a necessary move.
If Haechan's theory was right and in fact Jeno was into you and just didn't know how to react, then maybe it would change things for all of you and for the whole group to be honest. But if Haechan was wrong...
Jaemin doesn't even like to think about that possibility.
In the end, he decided to give his - almost always - well-meaning friend's crazy ideas a chance. Without giving it much thought, Jaemin typed his reply:
Jaemin: fine let’s do it
Now he just needed to talk to the two of you, especially you. 
It would be easy to convince Jeno to go out with the group, all he needed to say was that it would be a date with the boys and the brunette would be there in a flash. But it was different with you. 
You two hung out a lot, Renjun and Jisung joining you often, but when Haechan and Chenle got together, it meant that Jeno would join in too. And you'd been avoiding him like the plague ever since the incident in the cafeteria, wanting to ignore him at all costs. So it would be hard to convince you to go out with the whole group again and Jaemin was the one responsible for thinking of something to change that.
He called you earlier that evening, biting his nails anxiously at having to lie to you when one of his promises was never to lie. Guilt was already coursing through him, so he hoped it would pay off.
— Jaem? Did something happen? — your sleepy, soft voice rang out on the other end of the line when you picked up after the fifth ring. — Are you all right? Do you need help?
He only realized he'd been too long without answering when you started firing off questions in a hurried and worried manner. Jaemin let out a nervous, breathy laugh before answering. - I'm fine. A bit anxious, actually.
— What do you want now, Na Jaemin? — you asked from the other side, this time in an impatient and accusatory voice.
— The boys are going to have a meeting at the usual arcade, to celebrate Haechan's scientific initiation…
— No — you cut him off, knowing full well that he was going to ask you to go along and, normally, you would have accepted, because you liked going out with the boys, but now you were avoiding Jeno like the plague.
— Please, I need you there! — Jaemin hurried. — Yuki's going and she hasn't left my side for months, I kind of need...
— That I help you get her off your back? — you cut him off once again. — Why don't you just tell him you're not interested? 
— I've already tried!
— Jaem, I don't know if...
— Please, for me? — Jaemin knew it was a low blow, but if he wanted you to go he'd have to appeal to the emotional. Anyway, it's your fault for being a butter heart.
He heard her heavy sigh on the other end of the line along with annoyed grumbles, cursing herself for being so soft.
— Okay...
— Yes! I love you, you know that, right? — he thanked you, and imitated various kissing noises. You laughed tiredly and hung up on him, not wanting to put up with any more of your best friend's mushiness.
Okay, you've gone, now all that's left is Jeno.
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You entered the arcade alone after waiting for Jaemin for long minutes outside. You also flooded his number with messages and calls that he deliberately decided to ignore. 
— Na Jaemin, I swear to God... — you grumbled, entering the vintage arcade that no one knows how it has managed to hold together over the decades and looking for the boys at the tables in the integrated cafeteria, but finding no one.
You picked up your cell phone again and checked the time: it was just after 6 p.m. "Maybe I'm too early," you thought to yourself, calculating the possibilities and deciding that this was what had happened.
To pass the time, you ordered a strawberry milkshake. You were happily savoring the sweetness of your frozen dessert, feeling minimally happy at the start of the evening, but your happiness didn't last long because it was at that moment that you noticed Jeno entering the arcade, also alone and angry.
— Of all people… — you grumbled, rolling your eyes.
If the boy saw you here, he made a point of not showing it and walked straight past you. Jeno sat at the last table, sprawled on the brown leather sofa and typing furiously on his cell phone, his thick eyebrows furrowed in concentration until he raised his face in confusion, feeling that he was being watched.
So your eyes met and he made a sneer that was promptly reciprocated by you. When Jeno raised an eyebrow, as if to silently say "what are you looking at?", you responded with an exaggerated roll of the eyes and turned away from him.
The arcade was still partially empty and therefore quieter than usual, so it wasn't hard to hear the sound of heavy boxes falling to the floor in a loud thud, followed by a thin scream that aroused your attention and concern.
— Oh my God! Are you all right? — you asked hurriedly and got up from the bench you were sitting on. Just as you were about to lift the mobile bench to help the attendant, Jeno pushed you, getting in front of you to get to the little accident faster.
— Idiot — you grumbled.
— Are you all right? — he asked, gently lifting the girl off the floor and checking that she had no apparent injuries.
— I'm fine — the girl replied quietly. — I was startled by the boxes falling, but they're all empty, so I'm fine.
She let out an embarrassed laugh, looking at Jeno and then at you with cheeks red with embarrassment. You realized that there was no point in trying to help her, thanks to Jeno who monopolized the girl's attention with his exaggerated worries, so you decided to pick up the boxes that were scattered on the floor and the few packages that fell out of them.
— Thank you, you've been very kind — she thanked you for what seemed like the fifth time in a row. — You can order whatever you like — she suggested, looking hopefully at the two of you as you gathered outside the counter again. Seeing your refusal, she insisted — It's on the house.
— I've already eaten — You pointed to the half-empty glass of milk shake.
— My friends aren't coming anymore, so I'm leaving — Jeno denied it and you turned your face away in confusion, looking at him in shock and denial. 
You took your cell phone out of your pocket, looking for the group chat and frantically reading the messages in search of answers. You refused to believe Jeno, but Jaemin's singular message apologizing was the cruel confirmation you needed.
— Shit! — you both complained together - which surprised both of you - but the reasons were quite different for you.
You were stressed that Jaemin had let you down, you felt angry and disappointed that he had lied to you and used the "for our friendship" card to manipulate you into meeting the tormentor of your nightmares.
For Jeno, the situation was a little worse, as his stalker was walking towards him with a wide, frightening smile that didn't reach his glazed blue eyes. In the same minute he felt his breathing become heavy and his knees give way, he looked around, thinking of the best way to get out of there without the girl catching up with him.
You noticed your enemy's desperate face, trembling hands and ragged breathing after noticing the foreign girl approaching. You looked at him, then at her, then back at him and decided that you could revel in the suffering of the boy who was too nice to everyone but you. So you turned your back on him and picked up your bag, preparing to leave and leave him behind.
Jeno didn't react with anything other than frightened glances and an unsure step backwards when the girl started to come closer and try to touch his face with her pale hands. You wanted to punch yourself in the face for worrying about the boy who had been nothing but cruel and rude to you, but his cowed reactions got to you.
Jaemin was right, you do have a heart of butter.
With an exasperated sigh you moved back closer to the boy, entwining your arms with his and stared at the girl with your typical cold, sharp eyes that you wore as your personal armor against the harassment you suffered from seniors at the beginning of college.
The blonde girl looked at you with the same fury in her eyes as you looked at her, but you didn't let yourself be intimidated. She was no match for you anyway.
— Is something wrong? — you asked with disinterest.
— Yes! — she was impatient and clenched her fists in a firm, furious grip. — You're touching my boyfriend!
— Your boyfriend? Are you sure? - you replied condescendingly. — Because it seems he can't even stand to look at you and neither can I.
— You don't know who you're messing with — said the girl, trying to look intimidating.
You just smiled mischievously in response and took two steps towards her, towering over her who is considerably smaller than you. With your chin held high and a glint of pure evil in your eyes, you replied: — And do you know who you're messing with?
You must have looked really scary because she blinked in shock and staggered backwards, her eyes blinking nervously, trying to understand what had just happened. Jeno was also surprised - and a little scared - by your attitude, suddenly remembering the feeling he had when he first saw you on campus.
Contrary to what he remembered, it wasn't with Jaemin. On the first day, the veterans organized a hazing to welcome the freshmen and you were there, looking all proud and fearless for refusing each of the challenges they proposed until the leader got too angry to deal with you and sent you away with a simple wave of his hand and a tired sigh. 
That day he realized that you were everything he wanted to be and would never be: able to stand up for yourself. That day he also realized that he was jealous and intimidated by you, so when you showed up behind Jaemin, acting completely different from when you were alone, he decided that he didn't trust you and therefore hated you.
Now, Jeno couldn't feel more grateful for your duality. Thanks to you, Ava was gone and he could return home without having to deal with the girl's obsessive and stalkerish attitude.
He sighed with relief. But the feeling only lasted a brief moment, because as soon as he looked at you again, he saw the way your eyes looked worried. Worried about him.
Without understanding what he were feeling, Jeno got angry again and shoved his shoulder into yours as he walked away. You snorted in disbelief and glared at him angrily, watching his broad back move away towards the alley where he had stashed his bike. 
In an impulse of rage, you went after him, stepping heavily as you were equally annoyed, running a little to catch up with him.
— Is that what I get for my thanks? — you shout marching after him and when all he does is walk faster without looking back, taking the bike key out of his jacket to leave, you feel even angrier and run after him, pushing his back hard.
Jeno stumbles, but manages to balance himself and turns to you with a red face and furious eyes. — I didn't ask for your fucking help, okay? — he shouts back and towers over you.
You don't back down, in fact you take another brave step forward, coming face to face with him. — You couldn't do that even if you wanted to. You were acting like a puppy who'd lost its mother — you teased, pushing his chest with your index finger. It wouldn't hurt, but if you were going to annoy him, you'd take your chance. — You missed peeing your pants, scaredy little puppy.
He pushed your shoulders back in retaliation and, after a shocked sigh, you retaliated by doing the same thing to him. The two of you repeated the childish act a few times, never too hard to hurt, but enough to cause a nuisance.
— Dude, what's your problem with me? What the fuck have I ever done to you? — you shouted. Lucky for you, the street was empty, except for a trio of friends who had passed you both earlier without caring. — Apart from getting you rid of that crazy bitch, of course!?
— You get in my way all the fucking time. You've wormed your way into my group of friends, into my life and now I can't even hate you in peace because you can't stop being the Miss heroine who has to save the day, can you?
You laughed out loud, throwing your head back. — Have you heard yourself? — you asked incredulously. — You sound like you're into me and you don't know how to ask me out.
You tried to joke, hoping that sarcasm would be able to get you out of this weird and confusing situation you've gotten yourselves into, but Jeno was serious. Staring at you in shock and realization, expressions that you were quick to copy the next second.
Before you could say anything else, Jeno grabbed your face in his hands and kissed you eagerly. It was quick, strong and desperate, like the first impulse to breathe after drowning for so long. You gave in almost automatically, your body instinctively knowing what to do, accepting him as if he had always been yours. In fact, he was, he just didn't want to admit it.
You melted in Jeno's warm hands. The boy's soft lips tasted like paradise itself. You almost felt your knees give out when he circled his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. 
You encircled the boy's neck with your arms and propelled yourself on tiptoe so that you were at the same height, making the kiss more comfortable for both of you. You pushed back, trying to make space between you so that you could breathe.
Jeno wasted no time and trailed kisses down your cheek, jaw and neck, sending shivers down your spine at the ghostly sensation of his touch. Everything was so new and intense for both of you that all you wanted to do was give yourself to each other right then and there.
He took precise steps forward, pushing your body back until you were leaning slightly against the leather seat of his motorcycle. His right hand went to the back of your neck, gripping your hair to keep you where he wanted you.
Your lungs were burning from lack of air, and although you didn't want to, you pushed back, trying to make space between you so that you could breathe.
But Jeno wasn't satisfied with just that. When you pulled away, he wasted no time in trailing kisses down your cheek, jaw and neck, sending shivers down your spine at the ghostly sensation of his touch. It was all so new and intense for both of you that all you wanted to do was give yourself to each other right then and there.
— I can't fucking believe it, Lee Jeno — you complained, but this time your voice had a tone of amusement, causado by the situation and the playful little bites the boy was leaving at the base of your neck.
— I don't believe it either… — he replied and gently brushed the hair from your face. — I still hate you, just so you know.
— It's mutual — you replied teasingly and they both smiled mischievously.
— Yeah? — he replied before coming closer once more, surrounding you with his scent. His lips brushed against yours so lightly that you leaned in, wanting to kiss him again.
Você acenou com a cabeça em confirmação, o que só fez Jeno sorrir ainda mais.
— That's even better.
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busket · 4 months ago
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trans men i say this with love: we NEED to stop acknowledging comments from transphobes saying stuff like "you'll never be a real woman" and acting like it's sooo funny that transphobes can't tell that we aren't trans women, and being like "omg they tried to insult me but they were accidentally gender affirming!! like thank you!! 🤣"
we can laugh at transphobes for saying "we can always tell" despite being dumb as shit and never being able to tell. and I recognize that humor is a kneejerk response to someone attempting to insult you and failing horribly. but the joke is at the expense of trans women, they get caught in the crossfire. you're telling our trans sisters "omfg this person was incredibly VIOLENT to me because they thought I was YOU! isnt that funny? they tried to insult ME with the insult that is meant for YOU!" that's not funny. that's not kind.
and you know that transphobe is copypasting that hateful comment to everyone they read as trans, including trans women, and they're looking for a reaction. because that is what bullies want! you block and you move on. tell your friends if you really need to vent. you don't need to remind trans women that they are under fire for being hypervisible in our community. solidarity is not hard.
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