#though the funniest is probably the implication

[kara-knuckles]

Arknights Timeline

Finished my complete main story+events re-read! I wanted my experience this time to be more immersive, so I decided to keep a spreadsheet where I take notes of dates, both important and completely inconsequential, to give myself a better feel of time progression within the story. And there it is:

(I keep it as a separate Excel file, so there might be issues with formatting after conversion. Feel free to tell me if there are any)

How is it different from the wiki? The point of this document is not to write a history book, but rather to help me better visualize when stuff happens as I read. To do so, I make a note every time something is mentioned to happen on a certain date, no matter if it is a big historical event or a personal anecdote. I do skip some minor dates, but most make it in, so if you just want a list of important events that happened in backstory, it's probably better to check a wiki. In addition, when events have clear division by days, rather than summarizing the event in one line, I take short notes of what happens on each day, so such entries quickly turn into walls of text that may or may not make sense to someone who isn't already familiar with the event.

What sources do I use? This document is mostly based on in-game info and other official sources available in English, and it doesn't include any of the unreleased chapters/events. It has information from every main story chapter and event, profiles/modules/OpRecs I have unlocked, the comics available on the official site, some of the official videos and fantranslations of Terra: A Journey.

How reliable is it? As mentioned above, dates outside of main story/events might be missing. There are a lot of approximations, unless the date is directly stated in the text, I make a comment next to it to explain my reasonings. You can read more about my calculations in the document itself.

How to use it? There are plenty of events where exact year isn't given, but you can tell they have happened before or after a certain date. I use "<" to mean "before or during", ">" - "during or after", and "~" - "maybe a little before or a little after". For example, we know that SilverAsh was born in 1068, which means that Pramanix was born at least one year later, but it could have been two or more, so I list her birth year as >1069 (1069 or after). I use the last known year as a base, so, even if something is known to happen several years after n, I still write it as >n and put the "several years" part in the comment.

This document is colour-coded, I assigned a colour to each nation vaguely based on the Annihilation plaques (you can check them in the "Legend" tab). Some colour combinations are kinda hard to read, so I bolded such entries to make them a little more visible.

I plan to update it after every new event, so feel free to bookmark and check it later!

[they-them-pussy]

being a supernatural fan is whatever the opposite of 'tumblr ruining reading comprehension' is, but it's just as horrible. not only are the curtains blue, but several different writers specified the different shades that these curtains are. the curtains are simultaneously turquoise and ultramarine. you might be tempted to go OH!!! MAYBE IT'S A METAPHOR FOR DIFFERING PERCEPTIONS OF THE SAME THING!!! but no, this isn't on purpose. the curtains just accidentally stumbled into a vague idea that MIGHT be deep. but it's really not. or it might be. only the curtains know. you're left either watching it in horror or in intrigue as everything accidentally connects like the world's most disastrously entertaining wine glass stack.

[shadowtraveled]

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Some Much-Needed Downtime TBH

ok I kinda read these species-swap chapters quickly without commenting 2 nights ago bc I REALLY wanted to catch up to the show, and honestly I didn't have much to say? It was a fun showcase of some different species talents, and introduced multiple fun problems for the characters to solve [takes notes in DM]. But it didn't seem to move either plot or characters forward much. Some notes:

Honestly it's surprising that there's only been 1 count of food poisoning so far, when they're trying SO MANY new things. One must credit Senshi's cooking skills!

This might be the single funniest joke so far:

I've seen multiple posts saying Senshi's elfsona reveals him to be feminine by dwarf standards, and I'm genuinely BAFFLED by that take because it is SO obvious that Senshi's elfsona reveals him to be 1. the Hottest Man You Have Ever Met, and 2. HAIRY. We have seen 0 other elves with facial hair. I dug up that showcase of different elves and 0 of them have facial hair. In the Tolkienien lore from which all modern fantasy, or certainly this sort of fantasy, is derived, exactly 2 elves in the history of the world are said to have had facial hair. Elf!Senshi has a tiny little moustache. Elf!Senshi isn't feminine, he is the HOTTEST, HAIRIEST bear in the metaphorical gay club.

...it's possible that he's more of a himbo than we realize, though.

I don't know what's up with Kensuke and I AM worried that it's being directed by the demon. I want it to be Laios's friend so bad...

It occurs to me that "the winged lion is actually the demon at the root of all of this" is probably the biggest spoiler I've gotten, and I didn't even realize how huge a spoiler it was because I DIDN'T get spoilered for the fact that, so far as the characters know, the lion is supposed to be a helpful god. Don't play with spoilers, kids! Even if you want to read the juicy meta!

This initial fight with the gargoyles is probably my new second-favorite "Laios is really quickly analytical and problem-solving in combat" moment (the living armor fight is still #1). He sees how everyone is failing, prevents more problems as he can, realizes they can't win and puts together what pieces they need to get out. In group social dynamics, he's a mediocre leader at best, but he's a superb combat tactician.

Laios is just living in his own little after-school special, and I love him for that.

That first panel is definitely support for the theory that the 50-60yr life expectancy of "short-lived" races like tallmen, orcs, kobolds and halffeet is shorter than it should be, relative to their ages of maturity, because the long-lived races control and hold most of the resources. It's even possible that their ages of maturity SHOULD be even older, but social conditions force them to become "adults" at a younger developmental age than dwarves, gnomes and especially elves!

Panel 3 is Marcille mentally shoving Chilchuck higher on her list of Lives to Extend by Whatever Magic I Can Learn.

I love how the way they figure out that the mushrooms' effects are easily reversible is literally by thinking through the greater social worldbuilding implications of the effects.

^This is the single most Dad we've ever seen Chilchuck...topped only by that 'carry child like a football' a moment later. Actually, he yeets Marcille a LOT while tall - here, over the jump in the travel montage, with Laios to make a loop for the gargoyle...which I'm dead certain is an indication of how he physically treated his daughters. Those kids got casually, affectionately tossed like salad.

.

AND THAT'S WHAT WE CALL FRIENDSHIP.

...okay maybe I did have several thoughts about those 2 chapters.

.

"[Falin] was much tougher than I was. I hear she and our parents still write to each other" is SUCH a line for painting a picture of Laios and Falin's childhoods, and Laios's feelings on it.

.

you can keep your Kabru Wink(TM)s, I am weak only for the Laios Fond Little Smile(TM).

.

I love how Senshi is still musing on this soul = egg metaphor, and I LOVE how both times now that we've seen Laios genuinely lose his temper, it's because someone was saying "why are you just being excited about eating monsters when Falin is in danger?!", and he's snapping because he is fucking NOT dismissing his sister in favor of eating monsters, he is doing EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER to save her and it just so happens that the only plans with a smidgen of success involve leaning into eating monsters. And by trying to stop him from that, you're stopping him from saving Falin.

.

Laios, how tf do you remember the Wink? I'm 99% sure Kabru never once winked in your interactions; I WAS looking for it. Was he just exuding wink energy? (I mean...yes.)

.

The dramatic irony jokes in this chapter are on POINT. Chilchuck: "There's no way this thing still works" [tram door slams shut on his heels, cars immediately starts moving]. "You won't find a military company in the dungeon" [smash cut to Shuro, Namari and Kabru unhappily leading the Canaries into the dungeon]. Impeccable.

Stopping this one here in preparation for going nuts about implied elf-related worldbuilding in the next chapters!

[moonshynecybin]

digging into the little avatars that some riders have.... all of them are so cute and representative of their riders... im only gonna talk about a few here but i might add more later !

vale: cartoony turtle. the first to do this as far as i can tell! originated from a toy turtle (i think a teenage mutant ninja turtle lmao) that his mom gave him as a kid that he mounted on his helmet. classiccccc vale, very ironic and tongue-in-cheek, tattooed on his body in the funniest place possible, and of course the joke relies on the audience knowing that he's the fastest dude in the room ! very in-character choices all

marc: fire ant. he said i am tiny. he said i am SMALL. he said i am fierce and strong for my size... not a classically fierce choice but nonetheless makes a lot of sense to me ! also very funny that the intial design for the ant was made by vale's helmet guy, though i think he's moved towards the sharper design in recent years post-divorce and the legal stuff with its image rights... fun post about marc choosing it as his mascot by @frongsonabike here (also a very deeply catalan choice, according to @babynflames !)

bez: scorpion !!!!! this man is undeniably keyed into astrology lmao. hes a scorpio and he LOVESSSS IT. absolutely fascinating implications for his character on that, considering scorpios are a sign that catches a lot of flack. like. he looked at a list of scorpio traits and said omg me fr i need to convert this into a branding opportunity...

cele. the WAVEEE literally iconic to me. fits him SO well imo. serene. immutable. undeniably and probably unintentionally hilarious when used as punctuation. my favorite of these in the graphic design sense and i love that he changed FUCK ALL about it design-wise when he moved to KTM. also very cute that the 13 on his bike looks like the bottom of a pool!

fabio. el diablo !!! very fun considering i think hes the biggest lover boy on the grid but hes also FASTTT so i get it, its baddass etc. i DO think he would prefer the devil emoji on instagram to be red but that has been cruelly denied from him by apple.

[allconsumingrot]

One of the funniest (likely unintentional) timeline fuck-ups in BG3, in my opinion, is the implication that Gortash just... straight-up lied about being the Chosen of Bane when he first met Durge.

In Memoir Notes with Recent Addenda, Gortash writes this:

- The Bhaalspawn and I work together on a heist from the House of Wonders and, discovering common goals, forge an alliance. - In dreams, the Bhaalspawn and I are visited by Bhaal and Bane, who name us their Chosen and command us to seek out and ally with Ketheric Thorm, the Chosen of Myrkul.

Since the rest of the notes all seem to be written in chronological order, we can assume that they became their gods' Chosen at some point after their first meeting.

However, the book you find in Durge's old room, describing the aforementioned museum heist, has these two lines:

I shall savage the museum's guards fighting along with this Chosen of Bane...

and

...it will be the perfect test of this supposed Chosen's mettle in combat.

Durge refers to Gortash as the Chosen of Bane, even though — according to Gortash's own timeline — he wouldn't have been Chosen yet.

Is it just a minor mistake by the game writers/developers? Probably.

Is it hilarious to imagine Gortash lying about being the Chosen of Bane, all to impress some Bhaalspawn he just met? Absolutely.

[rollforfelicity]

finally finished the season and was curious if you had any thoughts on the junior year finale?

Yes! I watched it when it came out and I'm kind of bad at remembering what happens in shows, haha, but I do have some thoughts (these will probably be more "entire season" thoughts rather than JUST the finale thoughts).

Overall, I really enjoyed this season. It was really funny, and maybe one of the seasons I laughed at the most, and since I view Dimension 20 as a comedy show first, that's a big selling point to me.

I don't know how I feel about the down time mechanic. On the one hand, I think it's the only way they could have done this season, since it seemed like they were pretty set on it taking the whole year. On the other hand, there were quite a few rolls that Brennan said we'd come back to that I don't think were fully addressed (I could be wrong about how many, I'd have to go back and re-watch.) When they first introduced the mechanic, I thought it was basically a way for time to quickly pass while establishing how the school year was going, so each roll wouldn't involve too many scenes or roleplay, which I thought was smart. But then they did involve a ton of scenes and roleplay! So I have mixed feelings.

Similarly, it did feel like some things that could have been fun were underexplored because there was SO much jammed into this season, plot-wise. That's partially the medium of Actual Play, and partially being ambitious with how much they included. I love the idea of character foils or "dark reflections" of characters, and I wish we would have gotten a little more time with the Rat Grinders. We ended with a lot of implications about them, but I kind of wish there would have been a "this is what happened with them exactly" kind of moment. I guess they were all killed by Porter while on an adventure? Maybe I'm forgetting stuff and there was a more clear answer. I'm usually playing Power Wash Simulator while I'm watching Dimension 20 so sometimes I miss things.

Specific finale stuff! Gorgug and Unit and Gorgug and Mary Ann were both so funny. Zac is one of the funniest people alive. Brennan cannot keep his NPCs from flirting with Zac, and Zac cannot say no to a funny bit. I thiiiiink the finale was also the "Say it don't spray it" moment, which was incredible. Murph using Hold Person to take out Kipperlily was great, so tactical, so timely.

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but I think the finale episode retroactively made the infamous "blimey" moment less funny. I wish Brennan wouldn't have gone back on having K2 destroyed. His rationale was that she actually did have access to Divine Intervention but also he gave advantage on the roll which isn't how the ability works, so I think having K2 be destroyed was fair and also really funny.

I was a little underwhelmed by the Bad Kids reactions to Ankarna's scenes with each of them. It felt like none of them knew exactly what was going on, and even though they had some good character moments, it felt muddled and I wasn't sure what was supposed to happen or honestly even what *did* happen there.

I liked Buddy's new god and Kalina showing up. I don't think she's evil, I think she just knows that Ankarna wants to kill her, so she's hitching her wagon on a new star.

Brennan said something during the final Adventuring Party about how if people would have laughed more at Gilear saying they were getting a dog that Fabian's mom wouldn't have been pregnant, which confirms something I've always thought! Obviously a lot of Dimension 20 is planned in advance because of the sets, but I've always felt like sometimes when things don't make sense it's because they decide something on the fly because it's funny. Even Porter being evil was decided because it would be funny (although that obviously wasn't decided on the fly). It makes sense why sometimes the pacing and plot of the shows are a little weird, because they're actual plays, and they're comedic APs at that. It's kind of heartwarming that it seems like even though they're making a show, they're all mostly just trying to make each other laugh, because if they make each other laugh, it'll probably make the audience laugh too.

Thanks for the ask! There's probably a lot of other stuff I thought that I've forgotten, haha. Would love to hear what you thought of the finale, too!

[justpoppystuff]

This was running through my head last night about p0gtopia tombur so I jotted it down. TW: Manipulation, implications of rape.

“I love you,” Tommy said, twisting his shirt between trembling fingers.

Wilbur looks up from where he was pacing, surprised, but it quickly turned to annoyance. “Yeah, yeah, I love you too. Now if you don’t mind, I’m trying to think,” he muttered, waving his hand dismissively.

Tommy frowned, glaring at the ground pensively. Of course his brother took his words in a familial sense, why should he think of them in any other way? Yet Tommy didn't, couldn't, think of him as family. It was wrong on too many levels.

Finally, he looked up and clarified. "No, like, I love you. Romantically."

The last word hung between them as thick as the air of Pogtopia in which they stood, a palpable tension threatening to suffocate Tommy if the silence wasn’t broken soon.

He could literally see Wilbur’s mind working, analyzing over his words, brows furrowed deep in thought. Maybe Tommy should have said something after that like, Haha, just kidding, you should see your face or I'm glorifying what happened because I don't think I can survive if I didn't.

“Romantically," Wilbur said thoughtfully, almost to himself, and leaned forward with his head tilted to get a really good look at the nervous boy until Tommy started to squirm uneasily under the cold, calculating stare.

His hands started to shake like they always did when he became anxious, and he placed them in between his knees to hide them.

“Yes." He almost gagged on the word, but he had to make it true. It had to be true. Because that's what he wants, no, needs it to be.

Love would fix this never-ending nightmare. He could love Wilbur and Wilbur could love him and it would all be better in the long run. Everything would be alright again, put exactly in place, in a neat little box, and he could finally be able to move on.

Because the things Wilbur did and forced him to do would be justified, they would be equals in their relationship, in love with another, and it wouldn't matter anymore that Tommy was only a child.

And a sick, twisted part of Tommy wanted it to happen again, at that exact moment, in a setting where he was actually helpless. At least then he would actually be a victim, helpless and unable to do anything about what was happening to him.

Yet, unfortunately for him, things such as that couldn't coexist with love. It only added onto the list of why this was so, so wrong.

"Romantically," Wilbur said again, dragging the word out, smirking like it was one of the funniest things he had ever heard. "Huh.”

His reaction to the confession is off-putting to say the least, but still Tommy stays where he is, doing the exact opposite of what he should actually be doing.

The exit was only a few feet away, he knew Wilbur (probably) wouldn't stop him if he walked out, yet he stayed completely rooted to the spot, mentally accepting he only had himself to blame for being in this situation in the first place.

He forces himself to glance back at Wilbur, who is looking at him in slight amusement and barely concealed disgust and forces himself not to shrink back when the man starts walking towards him.

Tommy doesn't even try to fight back when Wilbur roughly grabs his chin and smashes his lips against his, mostly because he almost immediately detached himself from the reality of the situation.

He finds himself unable to move, even though he can feel the oh so familiar bruising touches of Wilbur’s hands roaming up, down, and all around his body, even though he hears Wilbur whisper into his ear, telling him he's filthy, debased, and must be completely and utterly mentally disturbed as to be so fucking revolting as to romantically love his own brother.

And of course, Wilbur is right. Just like he always is.

After a while, Wilbur tucks a stray curl behind his ear, and Tommy trembles at the gentle touch. The man tsks at the reaction.

“You bring these things on yourself, Tommy. You can't just say things like that and expect someone to have a positive reaction to it, it's sickening, revolting. Look, let's just forget this conversation ever happened at all, okay, sunshine?"

“Yes, Wilbur.”

Wilbur smiles and squeezes his shoulder good naturedly. "Good boy, that's my little sunshine. It's getting late, let's go to bed." Tommy nods and lets his brother lead him to their makeshift bedroom, too exhausted to do anything else.

[misc-obeyme]

help I've been brainrotting about soulmates all day

The funniest one is the one where your first words to them are on their wrist, because I always think about that one prompt where it was a star wars spoiler on someone's wrist

anyway I went and replayed the lessons to find out Mammon's first words to MC. And then this is where it gets iffy, because it depends on if they need to meet face to face to count

Because his first words are literally "Yoooo." on a phone call 😭 and MC can reply "Hi"/"Yooo." Otherwise, meeting face to face, it's "HEY! Just who do you think you are, human? You've got a lotta nerve summoning the Great Mammon." And MC's first words are either "All right, deal"/ "Uh-uh, I won't go along with this!"/ "..."

AND THEN ALSO, is it only humans that get soulmates? Imagine Mammon is the only one with writing on his wrist, or maybe Lilith too. And if she had writing, it clicks for everyone after she dies what it meant to have writing on your wrist. The rest of his brothers are constantly listening out for whatever words Mammon has on his wrist.

And if it's the "Hi" or "All right, deal", that's so tough because the first one is common, and the second one should be common as well when it comes to making deals/bargains/gambles. Also, MC walking around with whichever option is hilarious. "Who the hell is calling themselves the Great Mammon and why are they my soulmate?"

And like, with MC supposedly going to the past with Nightbringer, do their words change once in the past? Does a second set of words appear, or have they each always had two sets of words?

"Hey, you... y'know what this means, doncha? You OWE me." - Mammon, first words in NB

"You don't know me?"/" You seriously forgot who I am...?!" -MC first words in NB

Present MC/Mammon who, if they've always had two sets of words, constantly wonder what will happen between them. Because you could pair it with the writing being in your soulmate's handwriting, so each set would obviously be the same. So they know they're each other's soulmate, but why two sets of words? MC trying to lighten the mood and say "It just means we're together in every universe".

And then NB events happen and it clicks why there's two sets. And NB Mammon, along with all of his brothers possibly, probably freezing in their tracks hearing MC speak directly to Mammon. So soon after the fall and the war too.

BUT THEY ALL BELIEVE MC IS A DEMON IN THE BEGINNING SO THEY'RE LIKE "???". Maybe MC has their wrist covered as part of their disguise in this AU. That would be painful, having to lie/play dumb about soulmates and act confused meanwhile your heart is breaking on the inside lol

I also looked for Barbatos' first words but I'm gonna send those separately because this got long 😭 whoops

- ✨ anon

OOF the implications! Of course the timeline shenanigans make everything more complicated.

Make it even crazier and more confusing if Mammon has the past words and MC has the future words.

Because for MC, the OG lines from Mammon are the first words they hear from him, right? So that's either the phone call or what he says when he shows up face to face.

And the Mammon has the NB words from MC because technically that's his past, so they would be the first words he hears from MC.

Imagine hearing your soulmate's first words from you, but then realizing that your first words don't fit with what they have on their wrist.

Then NB happens but Mammon doesn't remember or even realize that MC heard the words on their wrist from him.

The suffering!

I actually quite like soulmate au type situations, but the first words one is complicated lol. Though what other sorts of things could indicate a soulmate? Like a red string or maybe just tattoo/symbols manifesting on you that match your soulmate's. I think I've seen ones where it's like you only see black and white until you meet them.

But I like the concept of always finding your soulmate in any timeline, especially since we have an easy set up for that in Obey Me! Like it doesn't matter how well you know each other or what time it is or what realm you're in, you always end up finding that person, you know?

Anyway, this has the potential for much angst, I think! Due to the part where MC might have to hide their words since it's only a human thing. That would be so hard. And you know they couldn't tell Mammon 'cause I don't think he could keep that secret lol.

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #7

"A Dinosaur in Dimmadelphia" - Full moon in the title card!

Hazel's parents are really engaged in having fun. I'm a little curious as to where this is going, since if we follow the OG lore, Hazel should lose Cosmo and Wanda once she's no longer miserable. I'm curious if they're going to push that direction or retire that bit of lore.

Also, C and W kind of snuck in under the radar and are retired otherwise, so Jorgen probably won't ride them as hard as he used to.

SLKDJF- It's a WHAT?

Obtuse Rubber Goose - 2001 B.C.

Of course she's more into the rocks.

/sweats at the billboard for Atlantis Condos even though it's painted in a mural. Cosmo... (Also I love the dinos by the water coolers in that image).

Man, this is a playground for both Cosmo AND Wanda's destructive histories!

I have feelings about the Fairlysaurus. I question nothing.

They're so cute.

The unfortunate thing about this show is that Whisper can tell me some scientists believe dinosaurs wore top hats and had electricity and unfortunately that's 100% possible in this world.

I like how Hazel's creature-hunting dad listens to Whispers Fred's podcast. That's gonna go well.

I like how Cosmo and Wanda can understand dinosaurs. She would be the type to understand them and wipe them out of existence anyway.

Confirmed 10k-year vacation through time!!

Hazel wishing "I wish people weren't afraid of dinosaurs" after bringing one to the future is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Welp, that solves that.

sldkfj, Wanda proudly talking about the comet that wipes out dinosaur life as if she didn't personally launch that comet.

"If I can't send [the dinosaur] home, I'll do the next best thing: Get him a job!" - I changed my mind, that's even funnier. Hazel, why?

I love the background hills:

I like the implication that people are totally ready to accept the dinosaur as an actor because they're no longer afraid of him, so he can stroll in and not only are they unafraid, they also don't question it. Yeah, that sounds about right.

This vibe is very funny since Timmy usually tried keeping his wishes under wraps. Hazel's just been changing her surroundings and people play along.

I like that Whispers Fred and the museum guy had a bet about dinosaurs having electricity and the museum guy just sighs and pays it. Yeah, okay.

... Do I know that screaming man? Why does he sound familiar? Is he from "T.U.F.F. Puppy?" I know him... Is it Meerkat, my beloved?

-> I looked it up and Meerkat's VA is Daran Norris (Cosmo's VA). So... Yes, it was probably him using a Meerkat-adjacent voice, SKLSDJF.

Mystery mayor...

Is that #1 Dad in the crowd? Where is your baby?

SKLDFJS we're keeping the dinosaur. Okay.

"Fearless" time! - This title card has SPOT-ON Cosmo and Wanda in their old designs. Nice!

Did Hazel share a room with her brother, hence the bunk bed?

I like how Hazel's wardrobe is filled with identical outfits just like Timmy's closet used to be.

I like how the movies are also in 2D animation style.

Dev loves staring at Hazel and judging her in the background, doesn't he?

The kid on the voting poster reminds me of Imaginary Gary.

Note to self, include a trigger warning for this episode if I recommend it to anyone who doesn't like horror. It's no "Dark Harvest" or what-not, but they do a good job of making it creepy to kids, but... whoa.

I like the idea of Jasmine's fears coming to life as separate people outside her body, which is different than when Timmy wished he was fearless and became numb.

Hazel wishing for a Hazel stand-in to hold her place in class was smart. She and Chloe would be friends.

sldkjf, bug spray with the cockroach from "Wanda's Day Off" on it.

The plot about Jasmine having to be the one to face her fears is clever. Also, Hazel implied she has to avoid revealing magic, so it looks like she did get the basic rules explained (and they're still in play in this spin-off).

Wait, why is the girl who was reading "Shakespeare for Mimes" afraid of clowns?

I'm glad the crowns make metallic sounds when they fall since they're magnetic in the OG series.

OH SNAP- Hazel getting called out for "trying to make this friendship into what she had with her brother." That's rough, kid. Forcing Hazel to face her fears is a clever way to introduce her insecurities to the audience. I like it.

The list of champions on the school's wall goes up as far as 2019, and we can't be THAT far in the future since there aren't others.

I did worry where this plot was going, so I'm glad Hazel opted not to watch scary movies and instead pick something her friend wanted to do too :)

[birdmitosis]

if you’re still doing the ask game, i’d love to hear your thoughts abt voice of the smitten please 😊 (no pressure though)

[ask game here]

Oh gosh, no worries! I am super open to doing more of these :D

SMITTEN TIME 💖

First impression

My first impression of him was absolutely during the Damsel route, and I'll be real, I mostly defaulted to vaguely fond exasperation. I was a bit "oh no, he's funny for sure but Oh No" about him and he was one of my least favorite voices for the longest time!

Impression now

...Whereas at this point he may not be one of my favorites but I honestly love him. He is fascinating, having darker depths of emotion than one would think at first and being capable of some definitely bad things, but also having a great capacity for love that is unflinching, unashamed, and comes with no caveats. He is a supportive darling with unbending faith and this also somehow makes him not only one of the strongest voices but also one of the most potentially dangerous to the group. This is great.

Favorite moment

Ohhh, there are so many small moments I can't choose between! The "He just likes to hear himself talk." "I do." exchange, the part where he straight-up says he's no thoughts head empty except for the Princess, how quick he is to forgive Opportunist and just accept him back on sides, how he slays us if we slay Damsel and his homoerotic fight with Cold at the very beginning of the Burned Grey route, The Look...

I think my favorite moment, though, might just be when you find the Princess's skeleton in the basement in Burned Grey and he goes "No! She was alive and well just a moment ago, floating away transparently!" It is SUCH a funny moment and if I make another "funniest moments in Slay the Princess" video, that is definitely going in there. He is hilarious.

Idea for a story

TBH, before the Pristine Cut comes out, it could be fun to write a version of the Damsel Chapter III that I don't think we're getting, one that I'd been toying with in my head... Choosing to stay with Damsel and the Narrator trying to force our hand again (or threatening to) leading to Smitten slaying us to show Narry he's serious about that, and then when we get to Chapter III instead of a basement it's an upstairs room, and it's way more livable, comfortable, with chairs and things, and her chain is thin and long and allows her access to the whole room comfortably. There is no blade. The only option, if they don't want to stay forever, is to brave what might be out there together and face the world, whatever may be. Once you actually decide to break the chains they snap easily.

(I think Cheated would be a fun option for this one, but I'd probably write it with Paranoid. Torn between love and fear in the Damsel chapter, and part of why we're "staying together" instead of escaping is fear of what will happen and what we'll find if we leave...)

Unpopular opinion

IDK how unpopular either of these are per se, so I'm going to give two of them:

One, Smitten shines least in his own basic route. If you go for Damsel and either free Damsel or deconstruct her, it is definitely incredible to see just how powerful Smitten's power of belief really is, but he himself isn't all that interesting and isn't as hilarious or as fun as in other routes. He has incredible moments in the Razor path, he's intensely sympathetic in the Moment of Clarity, he is both funny and very interesting personality-wise in Thorn (especially if you do free her), and then if you slay Damsel and get into Burned Grey he's maybe at his strongest both humor- and interest-wise.

Two, despite what I said above about loving Smitten in the Thorn chapter, which I do... I don't actually like the way to get Smitten in the Thorn chapter. I think it's jarring and kind of off-putting to start strongly flirting with Witch in that particular situation, and I don't like the implications of the "why are you actually trying to free me" "you're beautiful" exchange.

Favorite relationship

Among the other voices, I think my favorite relationship he has with them canonically is the one he has with Opportunist in the Thorn chapter. (I told you I love Smitten in The Thorn! I just don't like how you get there with him!) His weirdass relationship with Cold is a very close second, though, and I would be very interested in seeing them with a different dynamic in one of the new Pristine Cut Chapter IIIs, potentially!

Among the other voices, the relationships we don't really get to see in game that I'd love to see are how he'd be with Broken or Skeptic, with Cheated, Contrarian, and Paranoid being runners-up.

Among the vessels, my favorite canonical relationship he has with any of them... Hear me out, because I did say he is least interesting in his own base chapter, but I still really do love his relationship with Damsel. One of the only two vessel/voice ships I actually ship somewhat strongly (along with Adversary/Stubborn). I'd also love to see his relationship with Prisoner, Spectre, or Wild!

My favorite relationship for him in a shippy way is with Broken, though, by far. (Mending Hearts my beloved...)

Favorite headcanon

I really do love the idea that Smitten's unhesitating, unapologetic love of the Princess also translates to a love of the world, and that in any post-Construct AU where Shifty wasn't slain, he loves the world and life intensely because she is a part of all of it, even if he misses her.

I also really love trans Smitten, though! I specifically go back and forth between seeing Smitten as transfem and Damsel as transmasc, or seeing both of them as bigender, sometimes he/him and sometimes she/her.

[cookie-de-baunilha]

I love how John firmly and wholeheartedly believes that Jamie is the only person that knows about his relationship with Percy, when in reality there’s about 1% chance of that being the case.

There were a lot of people who probably suspected/knew about them. Maybe not before Percy’s exposure, but after that situation? Oh boy. They would look at their close friendship in hindsight + John being miserable after everything that happened and just put 2 and 2 together.

Especially the ones closer to John, but other people in his social circle too. People talk. The gossip would be wild. Before going on campaign those two were going out and about in London together, having dinners, attending plays, going to gaming clubs etc. At the time, no one would pay much attention to it. But that would drastically change after the incident with Percy.

Let’s not forget about the “near scandal” John was involved in with George Everett that had him exiled to Ardsmuir.

So… everyone kinda knew about them?? Ok not everyone, but a bunch of people. And it’s funny how John is delulu about it. Let’s see:

Hal

First of all, Hal knows John is gay. They just don’t talk about it openly.

Hal would notice John’s behavior after Percy was caught. He knew John would be a witness in Percy’s trial and was afraid of what could happen in that case. He knew John felt betrayed and tried to manipulate John’s anger towards Percy to get Percy killed. John couldn’t do it — if Hal still had any doubts, they ceased to exist the moment John came back from his conversation with Percy with that gun.

Not to mention the fact that Hal read the letter that Percy sent to John. The very first paragraph of that letter is basically Percy using pretty words to say that he would die for John. And at some point in the letter Percy writes that John told him about his father’s murder. Like??? It took 17 years for John and Hal to talk about it, and suddenly John would be openly discussing his family’s secrets with his new stepbrother? And you expect me to believe that somehow Hal thought that it was a normal friendship?? Nope.

Also, Hal’s advice to John in MOBY:

Hal merely snorted. "Men like that never die so conveniently. Why the bloody hell is he telling you this, do you think?"

Grey suppressed the vivid memory of bergamot, red wine, and petitgrain.

"I don't know. But I do know he's deeply involved with French interests, and-"

"Wainwright's never been involved with any interests other than his own," Hal interrupted brusquely. He gave John a sharp look. "You'd do well to remember that."

"I doubt I shall ever see the fellow again," John replied, overlooking the implication that his brother considered him gullible — or worse.

It’s impossible that he doesn’t know.

Benedicta

Mothers just know ok?

But seriously, Benedicta is really smart and she definitely knows that John is gay. In fact, if anyone suspected anything before the incident, I would bet on her.

Minnie

She knows.

Olivia?

I’m not sure about her, tbh. Maybe she was clueless. But then we have this conversation between her and John and it’s kinda sus (mind you, John is depressed af at this point):

Lucinda Joffrey and her husband

Firstly, both John and Percy running away from Lucinda’s arranged marriage plans like the plague might have made her a little suspicious. She might have suspected about John way before Percy came into the picture, in fact.

And she notices how bad John is after everything. She gets really concerned with him:

She goes as far as tricking John to see a doctor for his mental health, with the help of Horace Walpole:

Ally queen!!

Her husband not so much though, side eyeing John like Whitney Chewston, the homophobic dog:

Sir Richard be like 🤨🏳️‍🌈?

Horace Walpole

This is the funniest one to me, but also the sweetest.

First of all, Horace sees how shitty John is and works in cahoots with Lucinda Joffrey to trick John into going to the 18th century version of a therapist.

And then:

What I love about this interaction is the way that John knows that Horace is queer, but refuses to admit that Horace would know about him too.

The way Horace hesitates because HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO REFER TO PERCY. He wants to say lover (or ex-lover) but he knows that he isn’t that close to John and that it would be weird to be so open about it — and he also doesn’t know how John would react. Even if he is 100% sure that John is gay, he can’t be sure that John wouldn’t feel offended or react in a violent way.

But he also doesn’t want to say “friend” or “stepbrother” because he KNOWS THEY WERE SO MUCH MORE TO EACH OTHER. He knows those are not the right words to use. So he hesitates until John makes it simple.

HOWEVER. He knows that Percy being caught with another man must mean that John was betrayed. He knows John is hurting, not just because of the betrayal, but because of the brutality of it all — after all, betrayal notwithstanding, Percy got arrested and could get executed for being gay; for being just like them. That’s something that affects all of them as queer people.

So even though he can’t be open about it, you can feel that he wants to bring that comfort to John, because he knows how bad the whole thing is and how lonely John must be feeling. He wants John to know that he will do whatever he can to save Percy’s life. He wants John to have hope.

It’s sad, but also so sweet?? That silent solidarity.

AND JOHN “DOUBTS” WALPOLE KNOWS!!! MY DUDE!!! YOU. ARE. NOT. THAT. DISCREET.

A bunch of people in Hal’s regiment would be suspicious of John just because of their family connection — due to, you know, homophobia (and John being unmarried, unlike Hal)

TL;DR: John and Percy weren’t that much of a secret tbh, everyone close to them (or not that close) kinda knew. Everyone except General Stanley. That dude was clueless.

[imminent-danger-came]

Unhinged Anon here with a more lighthearted ask because that Macaque post reminded me how much I love thinking about his dynamic with MK. Of course, part of the reason for that is because there are numerous layers and intricacies that make it absolutely fascinating. But it’s also because, if I start thinking about it too long, they become one of the funniest duos in the show to me. 

And when I say funniest, I don’t mean they get the best jokes, or that their interactions get the biggest laughs. I mean it's hilarious to look at where they started vs where they are now, because it really makes you realize how spectacularly Macaque failed at not getting attached to MK.

Like… Macaque was not only prepared, but planning to manipulate, betray, and potentially kill MK in S1E9. He came into this series not caring about that kid, and his initial plan hinged on him staying that way.

And he did! Sure he liked MK fine, but he still went through with the power stealing thing. And he even threw in some cruel mockery. Which miiiiiiight have also been Macaque projecting on MK a little bit, but regardless! There was no hesitation, even when trying to kill MK, because Macaque’s hatred and bitterness towards Wukong far, far outweighed anything else. MK was just a means to an end for Macaque. A piece in a game MK didn’t comprehend, shall we say.

But then Shadow Play happens, and it becomes immediately clear that Macaque has already failed to stay completely unattached. Yes, he’s still clearly an antagonist here. He kidnaps MK's friends, forces them to attack him, and messes with MK’s head to what was probably an even greater extent then Macaque initially intended thanks to all those abandonment issues and LBD trauma.

But here’s the thing. There was NO REVENGE-RELATED REASON for Macaque to get involved here! Wukong was gone, and had been for at least a month or two by this point, and Macaque knew it. But he still decided to reach out because he accidentally went from ‘you can never have too many teachers, right? Haha aren’t I so nice, you can totally trust me :)’ to ‘you can never have too many teachers, and like it or not I’m one of yours’. He legitimately wanted to help MK realize some things about himself and gain some perspective. To keep MK from inadvertently becoming more like Wukong in ways MK would never want to be.

And then S3 happens. LBD basically turns Macaque into her bloodhound, and he goes from antagonistic but legitimately trying to make MK do some self reflection to antagonistic and willing to commit child murder. Only this time he is not having fun, and is partially rooting for MK’s team because LBD dying is a win in his book. He even tries keeping MK out of his way so he can free himself without having to hurt him in S2E9 (I’m still occasionally haunted by the genuine anger in Macaque’s ‘What? Make things worse for MK?’ to Wukong), even if it doesn’t work.

And then he finally regains his freedom just in time to hear MK’s samadhi fire speech. And that is the exact point where Macaque is completely and utterly screwed. There is no going back from that speech. From seeing MK say ‘Who cares about mortality, that’s my best friend!’ and refusing to abandon Mei even though it could cost him his life. He is now physically incapable of not caring about this kid, and he was already caring way more than he probably wanted to.

Which brings me to the moment that drives me most insane about these two because of its serious, but also comedic, implications. And no, I’m not talking about ‘be a warrior’, though that is one of my favorite MK speeches topped off with some great Dramatic Theater Bitch energy from Macaque. I’m talking about Macaque shadow portaling MK away from Possessed Wukong in S3E12. And I don’t mean that in an ‘aw, he saved MK, he really does care’ way.

Like, sure. We could focus on how this is the first time we see Macaque go out of his way to save someone *looks at his ‘look out for number 1’ speech in S3E8*. And we could talk about how portaling MK away was a pretty risky move for someone who’s normally very cautious, considering LBD could undoubtedly recognize his powers. And I could drive myself insane thinking about how the first thing Macaque did upon regaining his freedom was leave MK when he needed (or at least wanted) him, but the second thing he did was save MK when he seemed totally alone. Not to mention the fact that it was specifically Wukong (and LBD) that he was protecting MK from. (Don't think about how Macaque always seems to show up when Wukong has or is about to hurt MK, Don't think about how-)

But why do that when we could focus on how funny Macaque’s inner monologue probably was during that whole mess? I mean, Macaque’s bird form is already at the Wukong vs LBD fight when MK and Nezha get there, so he saw the whole thing. He could have stepped in to help Wukong fight at any time, and he just… didn’t. Now, we can all speculate why he chose not to, but that’s not what’s relevant here. What is relevant is that trying to imagine Macaque’s thought process during the whole thing is hilarious, because all I can imagine is that ‘X happens? I sleep. Y happens? Real Shit’ meme.

Like… Macaque is the patience and caution to Wukong’s impulsiveness. He watched that entire 2v1 without making a move. He saw LBD possess Wukong, and did nothing but observe and wait. He watched Nezha get absolutely obliterated, and didn’t do anything that would give himself away. But when MK’s thrust into the line of fire? It’s shadow portal time, baby!

It’s a legitimately selfless act on Macaque's part, and I do enjoy seeing the subtle ways he shows that he cares about MK contrasting with Wukong’s grand gestures of protection and concern. But it’s also really funny thinking about this powerful, super cautious, centuries-old loner with a history of betrayal and abandonment issues who came into this series ready to do whatever it took to destroy his best friend-turned-nemesis… and it’s the kid he accidentally became a legit mentor figure to while manipulating him as part of his plot to kill said kid’s other mentor that makes him start acting recklessly.

A kid who has been manipulated and nearly murdered by Macaque about as many times as he’s kicked Macaque’s ass, is the first person in… possibly ever to notice and call Macaque out for trying to be a ‘bad guy’ when his heart isn't in it, because he is not as dense as people think, is the student/fanboy of the guy who killed Macaque, and occasionally gives Macaque the wildest bouts of deja vu imaginable because he is sooo like his mentor but also just different enough to give Macaque hope that he can be better than both of them. Oh, and also he's a monkey now. Neat.

Their dynamic is hilarious. It’s sweet! It's full of so many layers, intricacies and parallels (ugh, the Parallels) that I tried not to get into, along with everything from MK’s perspective, because I really wanted this to just focus on how funny their dynamic is from a meta perspective. Truly, nobody is doing it quite like the soy sauce duo. Sorry for the absurdly long ask once again, and have a lovely day/night/whatever time it is where you are. waves from the precipice of madness*

I got you

My thoughts are going under a read more since the ask itself is so long (which thank you for giving me such an in-depth and delightful read EVERYONE GO READ WHAT UNHINGED ANON WROTE), so here we go!

Unfortunately I'm thinking too hard about all the stuff you told me not to, because Macaque being there when Wukong isn't is. Wooo boy.

I can only imagine what it was like watching this person who abandoned you do the same thing to his "beloved" student, and then watching said beloved student do a similar thing to his own friends.

Like, Wukong always going off for more power and immortality was out of paranoia right? Out of a fear of not being strong enough to protect the people he cared about? Out of a fear of mortality? And then MK not spending time with his friends and blowing off game night and distancing himself was ALSO out of paranoia for the imminent threat LBD posed. A fear of putting the people he cared about in danger (this is why 4x08 fucks so hard. SERIES LONG CHARACTER TRAIT. Anyways).

And then I just imagine Macaque watching all of that go down (he's bored and it's tuesday and it's time to go spy on/bully MK again) and seeing MK start to make the same mistakes Wukong did, and he's like "hold my bear" and has to step in and force MK to see what he's doing. Macaque was right, MK really is "that bit too much like him" but he's also still different from Wukong in key ways you know.

Which, it makes it so funny to me that Macaque is all like "MK you really are dense" about MK thinking of himself as the warrior, because it's like...Macaque. Is that not why you're here, because Wukong left MK like he did to you. MACAQUE YOU KNOW HE'S ALSO THE WARRIOR IN THIS SCENARIO. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE. WE ALL KNOW HE'S THE WARRIOR.

But MK is ALSO the Hero, and he completely redefined what a Hero is for Macaque! Seriously, look at his face here:

(Right when MK says "We're heroes it's what we do!" is when this shot pops up. Screaming)

Macaque is DUMBFOUNDED that MK is so willing to risk his life for Mei in what seems like a completely hopeless situation. The fire is going to destroy Mei, right? Why reason with her, why try to save her, you can't do any of those things.

But MK does. And he does it despite what everyone else is telling him, what even Macaque himself is telling MK, and MK's refusal to leave Mei (which the hero is SUPPOSED to do to the warrior) shatters Macaque's world view to it's CORE. TO IT'S CORE.

Because, like, I think about 4x11 and how Macaque tried to reason with Wukong in his own completely hopeless situation, and how that didn't work—that was one of the inciting reasons Macaque started to believe "Look out for number one—because if you don't no one else will" right? But then MK said "hold my beer" and disproved something Macaque thought was an unchangeable fact, and then Macaque left before even watching MK go through with saving Mei.

And it's so funny how all that happened, and then MK gives his "then be a warrior speech:

Macaque: “Nice speech kid, but it’s not gonna-” MK: “Ugh, STOP! You keep playing at being this bad guy, acting like you’re just in it for you! But I know, deep deep down you’re not that guy. Help us. Make it right.” Macaque: “I’m not a hero bud-” MK: “Then be a warrior.”

(3x13 Time to be Warriors)

And here MK basically tells Macaque that "you don't have to be a hero or a villain you just have to help", getting us a little bit out of that "good guy" and "bad guy" false dichotomy, and then after all is said and done and Macaque tried to actually be a half-decent mentor in 4x10, he said this:

Macaque: "Point is, it’s time to start making your own choices—something I wish I would have learned a lot sooner than I did. You don’t want to fight Azure because people might get hurt, you don’t want to not fight him because people might get hurt--so do something else! Only you get to decide who you are kiddo.”

AND HE'S BASICALLY THROWING MK'S WORDS BACK AT HIM, OR AT LEAST THE IDEOLOGY BEHIND THEM, TELLING MK TO NOT FALL FOR THE FALSE DICHOTOMY, THAT THERE ARE MORE THAN TWO CHOICES. HE'S SAYING LOOK FOR THE THIRD CHOICE.

(yes this is all from my hero and warrior meta! I think I've definitely gotten better at writing stuff like this but I still think it's a good read)

4x09 also parallels 2x07 in a very unique way, where Macaque steps in while MK is being that bit too much like Wukong again, except this time it's because MK is isolating himself on flower fruit mountain.

And that interaction only get's even funnier the more you think about it, like one: Macaque was totally drinking Wukong's milk while he wasn't there and spying on MK again, two: Macaque revealed himself at the perfect time to insult Wukong being "a lazy peach eating idiot, ignoring all the worlds problems" and three: he immediately back tracks on his whole "snarky edgy monkey" persona the moment MK starts glitching. Look at his face here:

And then he's all like "play my video game!" which doesn't initially help MK, and oh my god. No one is doing it like them you're right. Macaque sucks at being a teacher just as much as Wukong. Like he didn't plan on being a mentor either. It's so funny.

[slotumn]

Today's 3H worldbuilding headcanon of the day:

How do the countries in 3H insult one another? Because as we all know, establishing how different groups insult and dehumanize one another in-universe is very important to worldbuilding.

Anyway.

First and most obvious types of insults would be animal-based insults, with each nation having their associated mascot animals. Adrestia gets "vulture," Faerghus gets "rabid/rabid cats/rabid kitties," and Leicester gets "snakes in deer's skin," with the implication being snakes = reptiles = wyverns = Almyrans = Leicesterians may as well be Almyran (barbarian, heathen, etc)

Second would be food-based insults. Includes both stuff about stereotypical cuisine (whichever region has surströmming would get "rotten fish breath") and mocking about food security. Ex: "Go munch on cattle feed"

Third, mocking accents and language. I guess the extent(?) of this one depends on whether you headcanon the nations as having different languages; I do, personally. And I expect most of it would mock the vernacular tongue used by commoners, rather than the posh ones used by nobles.

Fourth, accusations of sexual degeneracy, through exaggerations and distortions. Adrestians get "daughter-pimpers," in reference to the Imperial harem. Faerghans get "page-fuckers," in reference to the whole knighthood thing. Leicesterians get "cuckolds," with the obvious implication being that Almyrans fuck their women. (Also they probably have a myriad of creative ways to call each other gay, but that's just true so)

Finally, religion-based insults, frequently tied to big historical events in the continent. The War of Heroes would be a great fodder for those in the south to call northerners "descendants of sinners/dirty blood" or something along those lines. Meanwhile, the Official Church Lore™ claiming that the Elites and Nemesis were also given their Crests and Relics by the goddess would make them call southerners "second choice" or "half-baked" for supposedly being chosen but not even having Relics. (The exact wording would be a lot ruder of course)

There are probably insults for people considered too religious as well, albeit the origins and usage would be far more recent compared to the above. "Hrym zealots/terrorists" for those from the Empire, referencing the rebellion that got the Southern Church exiled. "Rhodos zealots/terrorists" for those from the Kingdom (especially the western part), referencing all the stuff Western Church was up to during canon. I... don't think there would be an equivalent for people from the Alliance though, the Eastern Church seems too weak to foster a strain of religious extremism that is both distinctly associated with Leicester and considered a threat to other Fódlanis*. But Leicester does get hit with extra pagan/heathen and "fake believer" accusations, again due to their proximity to Almyra + Alliance lords politicking

(*"other Fódlanis" is the key phrase, Adrestians and Faerghans wouldn't care if Leicesterians did religiously-motivated attacks on Almyrans or w/e. But Western Church or Southern Church causing chaos within their own countries would be a great excuse to point fingers.)

And obviously the funniest(?) part is that if non-Fódlanis learned of all this, they'd just go "that's crazy, you guys all seem the same to us though." It's always groups that have 90% of things in common saying the nastiest shit to each other, whether that's because they can't stand the 10% difference or because they hate looking in a mirror.

[lokigodofaces]

you can just leave us on that note, what was the realization??

hey, i had to rewatch the movie, it's been a while! and also i have to figure out how to put words to feelings.

disclaimer, i'm REALLY late to the party on this one. like i'm sure that this was obvious for all of you. but it's something that matters for me.

laufey never learned what happened to his kidnapped son.

first off it should be noted that, unlike what odin claimed, loki was not abandoned by his biological father. many other people have written metas on this (if anyone has links feel free to add them) so i won't go into detail. but let's think logically. odin admitted to wanting to use loki to create a hypothetical bridge between the realms. which is a nice way of saying that he wanted to raise loki as his own to instill asgardian ideals in him and then make him a puppet king of jotunheim. loki has claim to the throne of jotunheim. odin could go to jotunheim, kill laufey and any of his other children, and instill loki as the only living member of the royal family. we all know that loki would be emotionally distressed beyond belief, and odin could use that to his benefit to manipulate loki into doing what odin wants in order to approval from his father. to odin this is basic strategy to further control the jotuns. which is why i believe that odin didn't find loki abandoned but rather found the infant loki with the intent of using him as a political hostage/pawn. so yeah, it's a headcanon but i'm not really inclined to believe that the guy who's been lying to loki his whole life ever stopped lying. also what if? does have implications (loki wasn't a runt in what if?, and laufey is clearly very happy upon loki's return).

okay, now that that context is taken care of. obviously laufey figured out that loki was kidnapped. and yeah, pretty horrible for him. heaven knows how many jotuns were killed in the war, the casket was stolen from them, and his infant child was taken as a prisoner of war. & asgard didn't interact with jotunheim again until thor 1 (maybe? laufey knew who thor was. but thor was born before the war i guess, so laufey probably knew beforehand and assumed that this person dressed as a royal and wanting to start a fight was odin's son). so laufey's son was taken from him and he had no idea what happened to him.

i don't know, if i had a baby son that was captured by enemy forces i wouldn't assume that their king would raise him as his own in order to manipulate him into being a puppet kind one day. i would assume something different. like that he'd be raised as a slave or something like that. i'd be worried that they would kill him for sick enjoyment. raised as a prince? not even on the list of horrible things that could be happening.

laufey calls odin a murderer and a thief. that line hits different if you think of laufey being desperate for his son.

perhaps the jotuns that came to asgard at the beginning of the movie had two missions. 1: get the casket. 2: rescue their long lost prince if he's still alive.

it becomes even more tragic though. loki never revealed himself as laufey's son. laufey didn't know that it was his son that helped jotuns into asgard, that it was his son that tried to calm thor, that it was his son that stroke a deal with him, that it was his son that betrayed and killed him.

& this seems awfully tragic to me.

so, yeah, i'm probably about 13 years too late to this realization but yeah i had it.

also while rewatching i thought that the funniest perspective would be coulson's.

[stripedtabbycat]

in gravity falls updates: currently on "the stanchurian candidate". i love this episode's casual use of mind control and lack of concern for the ethical implications of such. stan doesn't even really care when he finds out, he's just mad that ford is once again getting all the credit. also love ford's willingness to hand off highly powerful and potentially dangerous devices to 12-year-olds. again you can really see how as stan has become more responsible over the course of spending time with the kids ford is just back at square one and does not give a shit. this is also right after he entrusts that same 12-year-old to be the only other person in the house to know about the unstable dimensional rift he keeps contained in a little glass box. i love him even though (especially because) he sucks sometimes

"ronald reagan's masters" is maybe one of the funniest phrases to be casually used on this show. this also implies that despite the many differences from our reality the timeline of american presidents in this show was basically the same (give or take a trembley) so this would be taking place during obama's second election season. that means stan's campaign slogan of YES WE STAN is probably referencing obama's YES WE CAN but it also sounds very funny in the modern parlance. mabel would probably eagerly take the opportunity to use "we stan" in that context