#though my bestie allie knows me pretty much just as well but we feel like

[dreadfutures]

I miss Santa Barbara

[aqg-arts]

Anyone wanna my 2 cents on Jade Shadows?

Spoilers bellow frens ;3

So, right off the bat (before I put my personal personal thoughts out there), we need to acknowledge the criticism and outright discomfort this quest had.

Some of the criticism this quest got is something I can agree with. Specifically; Jade Shadow's needed more time. 100%. Let them cook, or more importantly, let the story cook and maybe even burn a bit to give us some crispy, smokin hot parts.

The little footnote at the end of the quest saying we have 'more questions than answers'? We get it, you're self-conscious, but that doesn't give you an excuse for not giving me Stalker. PERIOD, BITCH.

Jest aside, srsly, we needed to know more about Jade, Stalker, what happened to them, baby Orion (Halo possessed me in that moment, iykyk), etc. People needed to get invested in the characters, especially because this is a quest so close to being like Sacrifice on its level of storytelling...

Had it been able to have just 30+ minutes longer.

Onto the 2nd part of the criticism, birthing sim:

I'll be honest, as someone who was thinking of even going into being a midwifery/allied health, it didn't freak me out as much as it did others. But that's just one side of it. The other is how people say Jade's agency was ignored.

I'll be honest, this is just wrong. It's not media illiteracy by any means, but rather pure ignorance. Why?

Because her agency is declared.

When?

"... you're going to be a father." OH, and the fact she literally wanted the baby. There are plenty of people who can explain it better than that, and whilst I acknowledge people may feel this way, this was, in fact, not what happened.

Also, this quest is not pro-life, nor is it anything related to that. If it was, I assure you, you would have a majority of the fan base up and walk. Take a chill pill. If you want to attack something for being pro-life, go help out at an abortion clinic with crowd control or smth. Because once you see that, you'll understand just how wrong you are.

It's not subtle.

It's not in between the lines.

It doesn't exist.

The end. Period. Fullstop.

The criticism is fair, but going so far as to say those are the undertones is just not on. Not only are you lying about something, but you are also disrespecting the very real women whom have had their agency denied in one way or another.

Now, that's not the only criticism about it, but those are just a few things you may see floating on tumblr. Again, both are ok and fair. But when you start to spread lies or ignore what actually happened, you're part of the problem, not the solution.

Now, onto the fun stuff!

Imo, aside from what was stated before, the quest was actually pretty fun and interesting. The pair make an interesting concept, especially now with the lil fugly bean, which has stolen a place in my cold, brainrotted heart. I think I like the Corpus Cap the most- pls marry me, pls. Oh, an Hunhow? Let me hug him. Let me give him a home on my ships. Let me tell him he can be my bestie!!!

Back to Stalker, though, I really hope we see more of him, especially now he's git a VA.

Speaking of, homie didn't get to speak often, but God did it hit home when he did. You can feel how desperate he is, then when he gets his answers, how lost he is. Finally, resolution and love ehen he names his lil kid at the end.

Music was on point, too. I can't listen to it tho bc Ik ima be sobbing lol. It was so beautiful!!!!!!!

Lorewise, however, I have so many fucking questions, but in the funny haha/good way.

Was jade pregnant b4 being a wf? If not, Stalker...

Why was their relationship shamed upon? Was Jade a Dax and him, well, him? Or was it because they weren't married? What was it that made the Orokin make em into Warframes? Also, Ballas, man, we know your hypocritical ass is in this shit too.

Also, Umbra and Helminth are confirmed to roam around the Orbiter, and vc Umbra is my main, this is a personal achievement. Now let us see it happen, and I'll be DE's 4 life.

But seriously, TL;DR:

Jade Shadow's was a good quest, it just needed to cook slightly longer. And, until we get more Umbra x Stalker from DE (bros b4 all), I'll be on AO3 in 3 (maybe 4) tags.

See in the next Stalker stan post :)

[kateofthecanals]

'Peter Pan and Wendy' Trailer

Okay. SO.

Like I said in my previous post, my first impression of the trailer is that it is exceedingly dull. It just does push my Peter Pan buttons the way that the trailer for the 2003 movie did. Like, not even in the most basic "omg a live-action Peter Pan movie!!!" way, and that's troubling.

Let's start with what I did like about it:

Firstly, I like that the trailer focuses so much on Wendy; clearly they understand that this is HER story. I also like that the trailer is bookended by Hook directly addressing her. Like, literally, the only time we see/hear from Hook in this trailer in any significant way, it's focused on Wendy instead of Peter. Y'all KNOW I ain't mad at it! LOL

I like the ages of Peter and Wendy. Even though they are probably younger in the book, I like the idea of them both being visibly on the cusp of puberty because that plays very well with the themes of the story.

The trailer opens with Wendy having seemingly been abandoned by Peter upon arrival in Neverland, and honestly? That is so canon of him. I'm hoping that they remember that Peter is a little asshole and won't whitewash him (they understood this in the cartoon well enough). But it's hard to gauge that in this trailer, which I'll get to later.

It doesn't appear that they are making Tinker Bell talk, which I am grateful for... but it doesn't look like she's doing much of anything else either (more on that later too).

Things that I am side-eying:

The Lost Boys having girl members. Look, I am all for diversity and shit, but again, there is a very specific thematic reason why they are all boys to begin with (not the least of which being, Peter is a chauvinist little douche, lol). On the other hand, if this is Wendy's story, it stands to reason that she would want there to be girls in the LBs. Having said that, though, in the trailer, she seems very surprised by this, so it's obviously not something the writers were thinking about.

I have almost nothing to go on wrt Peter. Like, I am glad the trailer focuses so much on Wendy, but we see very little of Peter himself. And even worse, we see very little of his actual relationship with Wendy. Like, do these kids even have any chemistry at all?? Who knows?? We get a quick glimpse of them holding hands while flying, and there's also a shot of her looking at his "kiss" while he watches her all solemnly, but that is very little to go on. As it is, I don't find what we are given of Peter in this trailer very compelling. Remember, this kid is essentially a satyr; he lures other kids out of their bedrooms in the middle of the night to take them back to his imaginary island. He needs to be EXTREMELY charismatic and charming, but none of that is coming through here. In fact, he almost looks kind of AI to me? Does anyone else think so?

Tinker Bell feels super meh. Yara Shahidi is cute af, don't get me wrong, but she is the type of actress who needs dialogue to be interesting, which is why I just assumed we would be getting a talking Tink in this film, otherwise what is literally the point of casting Yara for this specific role? Here she is just kinda sitting around looking sparkly. She also seems to be cool with Wendy, which is just???? NO! The Lost Boys/Girls stumble upon Wendy looking pretty alert and healthy and not because they shot her in the chest with an arrow on Tink's command. Boooo! I hope this isn't Disney just trying to make all the female characters cool with each other because Girl Power™ or some shit. The fact that Tink is a little glowing ball of sociopath and insanely jealous of Wendy is integral to the plot!!! They already have Tiger Lily set up to be Wendy's bestie (not to mention girl Lost Boys), so there's no need to make Tink an ally too!

The fact that the same actor is not playing Hook and Mr. Darling is just such a flagrant red flag I don't even know where to start. Yes, that tradition came about by accident when the story was still just a play and they were trying to save money and resources by just having one actor play both those roles, but Barrie was shrewd enough to realize that this actually fits in with his themes very well. Even the '53 cartoon had the same actor voicing both those parts!!! Why in the world would they choose to part with tradition here??

The mermaids are... like... squidwomen?? Huh??

What is with this floating pirate ship? I can't tell if it's all Hook's ship or if, like, Peter has his own ship that he travels around in?? I'm so confused. If the ship could fly, Hook woulda gotten out of dodge centuries ago...

Ah, yes. Hook. What. The. Fuck.

I guess I should just be grateful that he has blue eyes like he's supposed to, but aside from that, they got him looking like a Redcoat from the American Revolution, which is about a century later than the era Hook is actually from. Barrie describes him as looking like Charles II, sooo he's clearly from the Restoration Era... and has jet black curly hair, not long scraggly gray hair. He has the bedroom voice down though... Again, it's very hard to gauge what exact direction they are taking him in here -- is he gonna be the ridiculous fop from the musicals? The sinister yet buffoonish dandy from the cartoon? Or the tragic, dashing figure from the book that was so perfectly embodied by Jason Isaacs? My kneejerk feeling here is that they are gonna try to go for "all of the above", which should be a nice trainwreck to witness...

And that's pretty much all I got for now. The film is coming out in April so I assume we'll be seeing other trailers and clips throughout the next month, so stay tuned for that I guess...

[tsuki-sennin]

Shortly after asserting N'Kosopa's will against the vindictive Racules and fending away the Bugnarak Empire in Peta, King of Evil Gira and President Yanma Gast are unexpectedly stolen away by God Kamakiri: Guardian Shugod of the Kingdom of Ishabana. Infamous for her lavish lifestyle but beloved by her people as a healer, Ishabana's young Queen Himeno Ran no doubt seeks an audience with the two men. Though her aim is uncertain, she may prove to be an invaluable ally in dethroning Racules and freeing the people of Shugoddam...

...ahem, that is to say... "Let's get this story of ours back on track!"

Spoilers, I guess...

-Sheesh, they should pay me to do these recaps!

-So the story goes!

-Ah, it's...

-Well, it's certainly a pretty place!

-Getting kidnapped by a beautiful girl's gigantic robot mantis god...

-That's how I'd like to be introduced to someone.

-Ah, Yanma seems to know what's up.

-Uhhh, not at all, Your Majesty! We're right as rain, eh Gira?

-Ooooof, shut down.

-Well, to be fair, Gira's a pretty eye catching dude.

-...I won't lie, it'd have been all over for me right then and there.

-Rich, glamorous doctor, patron of the arts, and direct with what she wants?

-AND flower handcuffs!? Oh, Toei, you guys gotta stop reading my search history.

-Soooooo, how we feeling about Zenryoku King? I think it's pretty good, but I'm not quite sure it fits the theming quite yet.

-I absolutely love this opening sequence though, it's so sick looking.

-I love how the team colors just pop out of the grayscale.

-Sentai gets visual flair even if fidelity can be called into question sometimes.

-Holy shit, every Kingdom's in better shape than Shugoddam!

-That motherfucker!

-Kuwagon :)

-I see Gira views his god as his bestie

-"Here I thought you a junkyard dog! Gast, you spineless, simpering purse pup! Have you been so truly whipped that you'd hand over MY God to please a single whim!?"

-"No! ...Nyes :3d"

-Oh, and she's got maids for days!

-Evil~!

-"...okay, can he say that in English? Or uh, Japanese I guess... come to think of it, what do the people of Tikyu speak? Galactic Basic?"

...actually, I hear Erica Murakami's got a bit of Canadian in her, would she know English?

-Rainbow Jururira!

-...come to think of it, Gira must be starving. Not only did he just get out of a battle, but he was taken to another country and hung from the ceiling. ...has he eaten today?

-"Some of you may die, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

-Oooooh, three greater guardians.

-That's a scarab, I'm pretty sure.

-Himeno seems like the kind of person who'd get extremely mad about a typo in chat.

-Hmm... this place reminds me a lot of the Netherlands. ...or I suppose more accurately, the Dutch tulip craze.

-If you don't know what I'm taking about, I insist you do a bit of research on the 17th century's Tulip Mania. It's a hell of a lot like the investment schemes we see nowadays, in terms of how much money was lost and how little we learn from it.

-"Oh God, it's another one... *Sigh* Do I have to depose this one too?"

-"Smash that house!"

-Gira's certainly sticking to his principles. Very based of him.

-Those poor people.

-...Ohhhh, she likes blowing shit up.

-God, she's perfect.

-"...and just as suddenly as it came, it's gone. Let's get outta here."

-Raaaainbow jururira.

-"Yo."

-The bugs are fighting!

-Ohhh, it's a soup.

-Soop...

-"Yeah, thanks, whatever."

-"Good work. ...but this ain't the real thing."

-I'm gonna be honest, I haven't the foggiest idea what jururira even is.

-For all I know, it could be like

-Deep fried spaghetti ice cream.

-Okay, that seems like gelatin.

-Man, Yanma's just *deflated*.

-"Hand over the beetle, or you're fired."

-RITA JUMPSCARE

-"You be safe now, yeah?"

-Ohhh, poor kid

-Seems like her Dad's really mad.

-And off she goes.

-"Please follow these instructions."

-Man, I'm sad now.

-Queen Himeno's aesthetic sense

-25 WHAT THE FUCK

-Oh

-Okay, he just

-I've done a lot of things for cute girls in my short existence, but I don't think roleplaying as a geriatric is one of 'em.

-Oh shit, Bugnarak.

-Who is Queen Himeno Ran, really?

-The people flee!

-Ohgai Busou!

-Help her!

-...oh god, she's covered in shit.

-Take that selfishness to the top, girlie.

-Himeno Ran! Does as she pleases, and pleases as she does!

-Come and Kick It!

-Ohgai Busou!

-Kamakiri Ohger!

-Kamakiri, Kamakiri! Yas Queen!

-Ohh...

-Ohh, she's even more beautiful than I could've ever imagined

-She be walkin!

-"You're not nearly enough of a self-centered bitch yet~!"

-"Hahahaha! How obstinate! Verily, your selfishness is a fitting ally for the King of Evil~!"

-Man, that Mantis would bite my head right off...

-King Ohger!

-Oh shit

-Literally~!

-...that's two episodes in a row with poop jokes, what the heck.

-Snaaaaaail!

-"Oh, okay. Zooom."

-Himeno-samaaaaa~!

-Oh okay, that's uh

-An interesting angle.

-Yay, we did it!

-...I've decided that I am now officially a Himeno Ran simp.

-...you could've picked up on context clues, but I figured saying it outright would help.

-"Ohhhhh!"

-"You just let me handle it, yeah?"

-King Dybowski!

-Of Toufu Land!

-Good on ya, lass.

-That's our Queen for you.

-"Shut it boy. I've got a job to do."

-God Kabuto!

-Oh, no time for surgery, it seems!

-Kaguragi Dybowski! What is this Bee Lord after?

-Suppose we'll just have to wait and see now, won't we?

[kitkatt0430]

hartley rathaway and or harry wells for the character game

Aha! My favorite prickly porcupine characters :D

Hartley Rathaway

NOTP - Hmm... I mean, he's gay so any ship with a lady that isn't a QPR would be right out. But for a true NOTP... I dunno. Joe West is a definite no. But I feel like I could see Hartley with pretty much any other guy on the show (or arrow-verse at large).

BROTP - Lisa Snart. Are they best friends? Are they QPPs? Either way I want them to be besties for life. That it would annoy Cisco to no end having these two team up is definitely a bonus. But that we never got a Piper & Glider commit crime together on the show is a definite shame.

OTP - Cisco Ramon. Hartmon is one of my favorite ships for the Flash and I definitely feel like the two have more in common than they're willing to admit. Especially when it comes to struggling with feeling like they've failed to meet familial expectations and getting screwed over by EoWells. But they're both brainy nerds, so the two of them bonding over their fandoms and then arguing over scientific theory & implementation the next is definitely part of the appeal of the ship.

Second Choice OTP - Barry Allen. This is another case of two characters having more in common than they're ready to admit. But they don't really have the baggage that Hartley does with Cisco and it's similar to why I enjoy Coldflash since Hartley does start off as Barry's enemy in all timelines but, unlike Snart, makes the full shift over to ally in most of those timelines too. (Though we only see it happen twice.) And, honestly, Hartley's comment about wanting to be swept off his feet by a guy in red leather is the funniest thing anyone's ever said in regards to Barry's suit. :D

Fluffy Ship - Cisco Ramon. As much as their established history lends itself well to angst, I really just like these two being at a point where they've moved beyond it and become all soft and melty for each other. And very protective because they know better than anyone what the other's weak spots are.

Angsty Ship - Eobard Thawne (as Harrison Wells). It's heavily implied canon that these two were involved before Hartley found the flaw(s) in the accelerator and Eobard gave him the boot, breaking up with and firing Hartley in one fell swoop. I tend to prefer it for background angst since I want Hartley to find happiness, but there's definitely a deep well of angst in there with Eobard manipulating Hartley on multiple levels.

Poly Ship - It's a toss up actually so...

David and Rob Singh. David is actually Hartley's love interest in the comics, so arguably Rob (whose last name is never given that I know of, so I just hand him his husband's instead) was created to partially take Hartley's place. That being said, what little of David/Rob seen in canon is very loving and stable, which is an environment Hartley would benefit from greatly. There definitely needs to be more of these three together and I guess at some point I'm just gonna have to write more myself.

Barry Allen and Cisco Ramon. It's my two fav OTPs for Hartley smushed into one, plus sticks two sunshine boys together. What could go wrong? hehehe (so much, no doubt)

Weirdest Ship - I mean... I don't really have a crack ship for Hartley, but arguably his canon ship with Roderick Smith is weird to me, for all that I enjoyed patching in the backstory for them with my semi-canon compliant three-parter fic series. Roderick is retconned into canon events on the show itself with 'remember the new guy' flashbacks and leaves him conveniently comatose so that he becomes Hartley's plot coupon for his redemption arc 2.0, this time speed run on screen instead of being retconned into existence. (Of course, it's set up by retconning out the first redemption arc out of existence first.) Because of how Roderick's screen time is largely confined to a fight scene flashback and naptime in a sleeping beauty glass coffin (I really gotta write a fairy tale fusion for these two), Roderick's a blank slate. He has no personality, so he can be given any personality necessary for a story and it's not OoC. Because he has no character beyond 'loyal to Hartley'.

Harry Wells

NOTP - His fellow Wells. Much as I like the idea of Harry learning to shed some of his self-hatred and that being reflected in how he treats his fellow Wells, I'm not generally into self-cest/twin-cest ships and parallel universe selves definitely fall in that area.

BROTP - Joe West. I really like their friendship in canon. It's nuanced and nice for two dad's to be able to bond over all the weird stuff their super powered adult child problems. They both have a tendency to get in trouble with their kids for being over-protective to the point of smothering too, so I just... like these two getting chances to bond. I also like that Joe is the one who really calls Harry out on his behavior in S4.

OTP - Cisco Ramon. There's so much UST and innuendo between these two in canon that the only two reasons I can think of that this ship didn't become canon was a.) the age difference between the characters/actors and b.) the writing staff has made a number of queerphobic decisions over the years that I suspect they can't conceive of Cisco being bi. Harry is clearly, canonically devoted to Cisco. So extending that devotion into romantic territory is way too easy to see.

Second Choice OTP - This is a hard one for me because Harry reads as being demiromantic and demisexual to me, so a lot of the popular ships for him get a kind of 'meh' response from me. I think E2 Tess Morgan - at least I'm assuming his unnamed wife was E2 Tess Morgan based on the audio clip used when he was sharing his memories of her with Jesse - would have to be my runner up OTP, though. We know he loved her dearly and Harry's love of her, even years after her death, is incredibly hard for him to speak of even to his daughter. So I can only imagine just how much happiness these two shared together in the early days of building STAR Labs and taking care of little Jesse.

Fluffy Ship - Cisco Ramon. Once the angst is cleared out of the way, these two just fall beautifully into sync with each other and being generally soft and domestic. Give me the fluffy happiness. :D

Angsty Ship - Hartley Rathaway. I haven't really gotten into this ship too much, but the potential for angst between these two is great. Harry's trying to leave the shadow cast by Eobard Thawne and afraid the things he did so that Zoom wouldn't kill Jesse mean he never will. And Hartley has to move beyond the hurt Eobard caused him in order to truly see Harry for who he truly is. I think Harry would be potentially drawn to Hartley for some of the same reasons he's canonically drawn to Cisco - they're both brilliant, snarky little assholes when they want to be and Harry is just delighted to have someone who pushes back when he shoves.

Poly Ship - I can't really see Harry being in a poly relationship that doesn't involve Cisco. And it'd be more likely to be a V - which would mean Harry would have to examine his jealousy issues - but in some cases I could see Harry falling into a triangle with Cisco and another too. I've been enjoying writing my Cisco/Harry/Hartley story, so for now that ship would specifically be my fav poly ship for him. But I think Harry's ultimately more likely to be accepting of others in a poly ship but not really interested in one for himself.

Weirdest Ship - HR Wells BROTP. I want these two to learn to like themselves and it being reflected in them growing a brotherly relationship while they weren't paying attention. They both struggle with self-hatred in their own ways and project it onto each other in differing degrees. Harry has the genius that HR wishes he had and HR has the social skills that Harry doesn't know how to emulate. They're both so very ND too and mask in different ways. So the ways in which these two play off each other is just fascinating to me. It's not necessarily weird-weird as a ship, but everything HR does is odd somehow. (Which is part of what I like about him.)

Bonus:

More thoughts on the Harry & HR BROTP. Okay, so, imagine HR had survived the end of S3 and gone back to Earth 19 to recuperate + help Cynthia with a much needed social revolution of what seems to be a massively fascist government there. Would have completely changed aspects of S4. In this AU HR would have learned to value his own strengths over the course of S3 and background of S4, so having him pass on what he's learned to help Harry with valuing his own emotional insights would be a interesting evolution of their relationship, with Harry especially learning from HR to treat himself with kindness and forgiveness.

<3 oh if only.

As it was, we did briefly get HR semi-back from the dead during Nash's possessed by the Wells arc. And while it's all background acting choices on Tom's part no doubt, Harry clearly treats HR with more patience, understanding, and kindness during the characters scenes together during those episodes. HR, in turn, wasn't being passive aggressive towards Harry either, no longer having to feel like Team Flash really wanted Harry and not him. Seeing the growth there for both of them was really a nice glimpse into the characters before we lost them for good. (Also Harry occasionally borrows one of HR's drumsticks. So they are basically sharing stim toys and I love the sibling-esque dynamic of it.)

[a-valorant-effort]

Got any good ocxcanon content for us Cass?

*SLAMS HAND ON DESK* WELL I THOUGHT YOU’D NEVER ASK

Noura + Aurora ships by yours truly

(Let me know which one your fav is idk who’s gonna be endgame yet)

Aurora section:

Headlights

Aurora x Chamber— Bitter Opulence

- Both come from lavish lives

- They’re that hot couple you half wish you were but also are deathly afraid of

- Enemies to lovers type beat :lipbite:

- Aurora does not trust Chamber whatsoever, and does her best to avoid him

- Playing hard to get he thinks? Oh yeah, he’ll play.

- Chamber this isn’t a game she despises you.

- Spoiles her probably, on missions he organizes Chamber makes sure Aurora is as comfortable as possible

- Aurora isn’t a monster, she does appreciate the gestures that Chamber gears toward her

- It’s gonna take more work than that though, pretty boy.

Nightlight

Aurora x Omen— Opposites Attract

- My main and my oc? Yeah I’m that bitch *twirls hair*

- Besties to lovers

- I’ve said before that Aurora and Omen have prob had their radiants the longest and therefore have had time to train together/bond

- Omen has opened up about lots of things to Aurora, and vice-versa

- Old married couple, watching them talk to each other is like watching old romcoms of two old people complaining. To each other? About each other? You’ll never know.

- “Keep yourself safe, my shadow, wouldn’t want you giving us away.”

- “Your brilliant light is going to get us killed, if anything. Stay behind me.”

- You insult one of them to other though? Prepare to die.

- “Aurora is more powerful than anything you or any man shall see in this lifetime. Watch your step, her nor I will be there to catch you if you fall.”

- “Omen has been through so much. You dare speak ill of my most dependable ally? Perhaps you’re weaker than I thought.”

- (Ngl I see this more as a bff dynamic more than anything else)

Shieldshock

Aurora x Sova— Humble Beginnings

- Favorite ship tbh

- They’re both mentor/big sibling types. Always looking out for others in protocol

- Aurora values any gesture/display of affection Sova graces her with

- Sova goes so out of his way to get Aurora to talk to/notice him not knowing she is literally stealing glances at him any chance she gets

- Mutual pining champions, makes everyone at protocol want to bash their head into a wall

- Aurora meeting Sova’s family :D

- His parents proud that he chose to love such a humble and kind woman (and so pretty too!)

- Sova isn’t usually talkative but him talking to his family about Aurora? Sit down this is gonna take a min

Noura section (partially ghostwritten by @lemonssoda):

Windrunner

Noura x Jett— Race ya!

- “We’re rivals!” “We are?”

- That’s it that’s the ship

- Jett feels so threatened that there is someone faster than her. Impossible.

- AND she’s getting mentored by Aurora? Fuck no! That’s my mentor, back off!

- Noura’s so happy to have a friend tho :D!

- Every training session is a competition

- Noura shamelessly/unintentionally flirting with Jett during these times

- It takes Noura getting serious and saving Jett from a suicide mission for her to realize “oh hell she cute”

- Noura going out of her way to impress Jett while Jett is just like “oh yeah?! I can do that too!”

Glowstick

Noura x Neon — Electric love

- The bitch isn’t even out yet but I don’t care

- The similarities are uncanny— Neon and Noura would depend on each other heavily in and out of combat

- “I get you, and you get me, please don’t leave.”

- Radiant related injury? Let me tenderly treat your wounds

- Afraid of an upcoming mission? Dont worry I’m coming! There’s nothing to be afraid of!

- Crying late at night because you miss your mom? Family is everything to me, I will be there first to comfort you.

- OH THE ANGST POTENTIAL WITH THESE TWO

- Noura meeting Neon’s family *slams credit card on table*

Nanovolt

Noura x Killjoy— Brains vs. Brawn

- I love the kind of woman that talks over me -Noura

- Killjoy yearns for someone to talk/ just ramble on about technical stuff to

- Noura’s just a good listener in general, she’s used to the ramblings of her father

- KJ spoils Noura with tons of new gadgets and advancements to her gear

- It’s literally so easy for Killjoy to impress Noura she could literally just add an extra pocket to her suit and Noura would be like “:0”

- Killjoy’s passion reminds Noura of her mother, and it gets to her sometimes

- “Hey your dad stole a gadget from me can you get it back for me?”

- “yeah.”

[smaidjor]

i know they're losing (chapter 2)

Hello everyone! Since the last chapter received such a positive response (well, if screaming could be called a positive response), I've decided to not make you all wait long for the second chapter of this fic. Also, I have no self-control. Anyways!

Once again obligatory disclaimer this is characters not people, don't ship real people, etc.

Chapter Title: over snow and winter's morn

Chapter Wordcount: 3203

Content warnings: more discussion of death, also quite a bit of Scott being a bit of a dick. He's going through it, besties.

AO3 Link

Chapter 1

Actual fic under the cut:

Jimmy doesn’t get a chance to return the ring any time in the next few weeks. Scott must have told Katherine that he visited, since she doesn’t come to bother him about it, and every time Jimmy tries to go to Rivendell, something gets in the way. Demon attacks, urgent business in his empire, once even Scott’s own guards turning him away. Apparently Scott is a ‘busy elf’. Jimmy doesn’t doubt he is, but he also doesn’t doubt that Scott’s actively trying to avoid him. Scott is a petty man, ultimately, and Jimmy knows this, used to love it like he loved all his husband’s flaws, all his imperfections that were perfect to Jimmy. Now, though, it just hurts that Scott’s turning that pettiness on him.

Finally, something changes. Jimmy gets an invitation (in person!) from one of his closest allies; Lizzie wants to hold a ball, and she wants as many people as possible to come. It will be fancy and formal, with dancing and politics and all the things Jimmy’s just a bit awkward with, but he is an extrovert at heart, and well...Scott will be there, as Lizzie warns him.

“I know you and him don’t really get on, so I get if you don’t want to come. I really hope you will, though, it’s going to be a fun night!”

Jimmy nods. “I’ll be there! I need to talk to Scott anyways, actually, got to return this ring to him. It’s important, I think.”

“Gotcha! See you there,” Lizzie says with a broad smile. Jimmy appreciates that she doesn’t ask any questions about the ring, especially given that it’s the one thing holding together his emotional state right now.

And that’s how he finds himself frantically searching for something fancy enough to wear to a formal ball, wishing he’d had the forethought to plan for this a bit better. Scott would have planned, he thinks, would have had an outfit laid out for each of them and the time it would take them to get there exactly calculated.

He shakes that thought off, settling for a green tunic with copper accents. It’s not the most elegant thing in the world, especially when you take into account the slime that’s dripped onto it, but it’ll have to do. It’s representative of his empire for sure, and the copper is a nod to his ally. It’s good enough, and that’s what matters, Jimmy thinks.

Lizzie greets him when he enters the ballroom, smiling widely with her new fiance by her side. “Jimmy! Glad you could make it!”

“Yeah, yeah, I did make it! Here I am!” The smile he gives her is genuine; he likes Lizzie. She's fierce and kind all at once, the best kind of ally.

Joel offers him a brief wave, which Jimmy happily returns before Lizzie drags him off to chat.

“So, heard from a little birdy you’ve actually been visiting Scott,” Lizzie says, a grin like the cat that got the bird on her face.

“As a favor to Katherine,” Jimmy quickly clarifies.

She nods. “She did say that, yes. She also said she heard about the visit from Scott himself.”

Jimmy hates himself a little for being pathetic enough to ask “What did- did she say what he said? Was he talking about me?”

“She didn’t say exactly, but he seemed ‘shaken up’, apparently...and a little wistful.”

“Oh, no. Lizzie, no.”

“Say, why did you have his ring?” She’s still grinning, a little more evil this time.

“It’s a long story!” Jimmy blurts, and flees. How’s he supposed to say ‘oh we were married on a server where we thought we were going to permanently die and then we respawned here and now Scott’s refusing to talk to me because the grief over my last death is slowly killing him’ tactfully? There’s just no way to do it! Nice one, Jimmy, now she thinks you’re in love with him or something, he thinks ruefully. Not that he isn’t- wasn’t. Wasn’t. Scott’s made it very clear that he and Jimmy are through.

Still, even with his depressing thoughts, the ball is pretty okay. No one’s gotten assassinated, there haven’t been any demonic appearances, Lizzie’s already showing off her engagement ring, and he’s pretty sure Joey’s going off about how hot demons are. It’s a decent party, by empires standards.

Scott makes an appearance some twenty minutes or so later, stepping into the ballroom with typical elven grace. He’s not a very elven elf, as he once told Jimmy, short and sarcastic with a love for mortals, but he still looks twice as elegant as everyone else in the ballroom. The shakiness in his step from a few weeks ago seems entirely gone, and for a minute, Jimmy’s heart leaps in hope. Maybe he’s getting better?

Well, only one way to find out. Jimmy swallows the complicated knot of emotion in his chest as he crosses the ballroom, coming to an ungraceful stop in front of Scott. Up close, the elf looks worryingly pale, and there are dark circles under his eyes. He looks like a strong breeze might sweep him away.

“Lord Codfather,” Scott greets.

“Elvenking,” Jimmy returns, dipping his head a little. Look, Scott, he can be formal too, alright? “Care for a dance?”

Scott stares for a long moment before giving a single nod. “I suppose I wouldn’t mind.” He takes Jimmy’s outstretched hand in his own gloved one, letting Jimmy put a hand on his waist as they start into a simple waltz.

Now, Jimmy is a terrible dancer, and he’s not too proud to admit it. He steps on Scott’s feet, gets off-rhythm once or twice, and nearly crashes them straight into Lizzie and Joel. But despite their current status as enemies(ex-spouses?), Scott says nothing about it. He’s silent, in fact, seemingly caught up in the music. There’s something wistful about his expression, something soft and gentle hidden under his icy facade. If Jimmy tries hard enough, he can almost pretend that the two of them are back in 3rd life, dancing under the stars, and Scott is looking at him like he’s the most precious thing in the world.

The illusion is shattered, however, by how heavily Scott is leaning on him by the end of the dance. He’s unsteady on his feet, grip like iron on Jimmy’s hand and shoulder. Though Jimmy can’t feel his hands though the gloves, when he brushes against Scott’s arm, it’s still a little too cold to be entirely right.

The music slows and then pauses before the next song, and they head for the edge of the dance floor.

“Thank you for the dance, Codfather,” Scott says. He steps away, face falling back into the emotionless facade so quickly it’s hard to be sure the tender expression of a moment before wasn’t a dream.

That’s the final straw for Jimmy’s fragile self-control. “Can we please stop acting like we don’t know each other?”

“What else do you want from me?” Scott snaps back.

“I- something! Anything! Just acknowledge that I exist, won’t you?”

“Acknowledging you exist doesn’t mean I’m still in love with you, you know.”

“I know,” Jimmy says, a little softer, a little bitter. “I know, trust me. I just want you to stop- to stop hurting yourself to try and avoid pain!”

“That’s not what I’m do-”

“Then what are you doing? Enlighten me, o wise elf!” They’ve kept their voices low enough, but people nearby are still starting to stare at them. Jimmy can’t bring himself to care. “You told me it would destroy you to lose me, but you’re losing me now by pushing me away!”

Scott’s expression is pained for a moment before he covers it with a glare. “I’m trying to do what’s best for the both of us, Jimmy.”

“No you’re-”

“I am an elf, and I cannot love a mortal. Humans are quick flames, burning and changing quickly. You’ll fall in love again, and you’ll forget me. There will be a mortal who loves you- I’m sure there are many already.”

“But I don’t want a mortal,” Jimmy protests. “I want you.”

“You can’t have me.”

“But why? Why, Scott?” His voice breaks, embarrassingly enough. “You said you loved me, you promised me all the time we’d be able to- to carve out, to steal from the universe.”

“I can’t give you that!” Scott snaps. “You’ll live sixty more years, maybe, a fraction of my life, a blink of an eye to an elf, and I can’t even give you that long! Not when I have to be the elvenking before anything else. Nothing I can do will ever be enough for you.”

“Enough for me? For ME? All I want is for you not to die to your own dumb plan and acknowledge my existance once in a while!”

“And all I want is for you to realize I can’t love you again!”

“Why can’t you care about me?”

“Why can’t you move on?” Scott counters.

“You’re not moving on, you’re just trying to forget!” Jimmy shouts.

In the silence that follows, he realizes that most of the ballroom must have heard the end of their little lovers’ quarrel. In fact, Lizzie’s somehow appeared next to him, laying a hand on his arm.

“Is everything alright, boys?” Her tight smile says that they will most certainly get kicked out of the ball if they continue this, and Jimmy can’t blame her.

“My apologies, Ocean Queen,” Scott says, switching to a formal tone with ease that Jimmy envies. He dips his head in respect, and only Jimmy sees how his hands tremble. “Everything is alright, but I am afraid I will have to leave early.”

She smiles again, dangerous this time. “No need to worry, Lord Smajor. Do try to avoid picking fights with my allies, next time, though.”

“It won’t happen again,” he promises, and sweeps away.

“Coward!” Jimmy shouts after him, anger making him bold. “You’re a coward, Scott!”

“Stop it,” Lizzie scolds. “You’ve already made quite the scene, and I did essentially kick him out. I’m not sure how much further you really want to carry it.”

“He is though, Lizzie, he’s a coward! Doesn’t want to face me because that means facing- well, facing everything that’s happened!”

“What do you mean, everything that’s happened?” Lizzie turns to the gathered audience of people who have been watching the spat, shooing them off as best as possible. They slowly disperse, thank goodness. “You and he are enemies, right?”

Jimmy almost winces. “It’s a bit- it’s a bit more complicated than that.”

“I can see that. Jimmy, that looked like a messy breakup!”

“It, um, well, it was. Sort of.”

“Oh, Jimmy.” Lizzie’s giving him a sympathetic look, which she follows up with a tight hug. “Next time, how about we don’t invite him?”

He nods against her shoulder, rage leaving him as quickly as it came. Instead, he just feels...tired. “Thanks, Lizzie.”

“Of course. We look after each other, yeah?’

“Yeah.”

Jimmy leaves the ball exhausted, still reeling from everything that happened. The few lingering bits of anger are what gets him home, a bitter taste in his mouth from the bitter words he spat. Coward! You’re a coward, Scott! He refuses to regret them.

Scott’s ring nearly ends up in the swamp again, but Jimmy’s cooled down enough by the time he gets back that he can’t bear to throw it away. Instead, it goes in a box which he tucks into his old storage chest, somewhere he’ll never have to see it again. Scott can go to hell if he wants the ring back after all that.

-

For a while, Jimmy’s plan to tuck the ring and never think about Scott again seems to be working. Lizzie visits a few times to check on him, but she never asks specifically about Scott, and Jimmy doesn’t say anything about him. He receives radio silence from Rivendell, and he tells himself that it’s good, that he doesn’t want to hear from Scott.

So yes, his plan is working, up until he gets a knock on his door and opens it to find Scott there.

The elf looks terrible, frankly, almost worse than he did at the ball. His hair, which is usually so nicely done, is a mess, cyan strands falling all across his face. His clothes are wrinkled and have swamp mud on them, his eyes have dark circles as violent as bruises, and he’s swaying a tiny bit. In short, he looks like he didn’t sleep for a week, chugged coffee, and fought god in a denny’s parking lot.

Jimmy thinks he’s kinda hot.

No, he doesn’t. Fake news, brain.

“Hi,” Scott says.

“Scott? What- why are you here?” Jimmy’s voice rises, in shock or outrage even he doesn’t know.

“I came to apologize.” Though he looks like he’s going to pass out at any second, Scott’s voice is steady. “I was scared- I am scared. I’m terrified to lose you again. But I shouldn’t have pushed you away and hurt you.”

“No, you shouldn’t have!” Jimmy snaps, but there’s little real rage behind it.

“I know. I- uh- fuck.” Scott’s hands are shaking as he pulls out a little box from some hidden pocket. “I brought a gift as an apology.”

Jimmy takes it, curious despite himself, and finds that what’s inside is a silver bracelet with little crystals embedded in it. Flowers are the predominant design; he recognizes roses, hyacinths, irises, anemone, and poppies. On the underside, there’s elven lettering, though Jimmy has no clue what it says. The whole thing is a little clumsy, not quite as professionally made as the ring Scott once gave him, and Jimmy looks up at Scott. “Did you make this yourself?”

“Mhm. I did my best, but it’s not as nice as I’d like.”

“It’s pretty,” Jimmy says.

Scott’s shoulders slump with relief. “It’s spelled, too. Protection, good fortune, that sort of thing.”

“Do the flowers mean something?”

“They do.”

Jimmy doesn’t press for details.

“I-” Scott starts again, a tremble in his voice that wasn’t there before. “I’m sorry, Jimmy, I really am. I won’t ask you to forgive me, but I needed to apologize before my time ran out.”

“Is it that- that dire?”

The barest nod. “This is what I chose to do with it. Making that, coming here. You deserved an apology.”

There’s a moment of awkward silence, Jimmy staring down at the bracelet.

Scott breaks it. “It wouldn’t be fair of me to ask you to love me. I can’t promise you eternity. I can’t promise you happiness. I can’t promise you that I won’t have to be the elvenking first and a husband second. But I am yours still, if you’ll have me.”

A part of Jimmy is very tempted to throw both Scott’s gift and his love back in his face. He can’t bring himself to stay mad, though, not when Scott’s looking at him like that, with so much raw vulnerability. So much devotion, like Jimmy’s the most precious thing he’s ever seen. It would be so, so easy to break that last strand of fragile hope in his expression; he’s offering up his heart on a silver platter, ready to shatter. Jimmy could- should- yell at him, reject his gift, tell him that he’s ruined any chance he has at Jimmy’s love.

Jimmy kisses him instead. It’s messy and it’s sudden and he very nearly drops Scott’s gift in the swamp in his haste to tangle his hands in Scott’s hair and press their lips together, but it’s real.

The little startled noise Scott makes gets cut off by Jimmy’s mouth on his. Scott’s lips are chapped and taste a little of glowberries, but Jimmy doesn’t care. He’s going to kiss his damn husband, something he thought he was never going to get to do again.

When they finally have to separate, Scott’s breathing hard, cheeks flushed. It’s a good look on him, Jimmy thinks, much more alive than his pale, rigid expression from before.

“So, I’ll take that as you want to stay married?” Scott’s voice is wry, collected, but his blush ruins the smooth effect.

“Of course I do! You absolute idiot!”

“Just checking.”

Jimmy kisses him again, just to shut him up. Scott goes with it easily, leaning into Jimmy’s embrace without complaint.

They pull apart quicker this time, and Jimmy holds the bracelet out. “Can you help me put this on?”

Scott nods. His hands are cold against the skin of Jimmy’s wrist when he fastens the clasp, but Jimmy grabs them and holds them in his own warm ones until they don’t feel quite so much like ice. It’s something. It’s a beginning.

“Come in and catch up with me?” Jimmy offers.

Scott nods again, and he doesn’t let go of Jimmy’s hand when Jimmy turns to go inside.

They talk about a lot of things. Empires, 3rd life, nightmares. Pufferfish, cake, flowers. They talk about the trials and tribulations of ruling; really, Jimmy complains that people keep attacking him and Scott nods in sympathy.

Eventually, though, the sun is starting to set.

“I need to get home,” Scott says. “You need sleep, not to stay up all night talking.” He goes to get up, and Jimmy immediately lunges, catching his sleeve.

“Don’t go! Please,” he adds, feeling his face flush at how desperate he sounds.

“Jimmy, darling, we both need to sleep.”

“We can sleep! I just….nevermind.”

“No, no.” Scott kneels back down, peering at him like Jimmy’s a puzzle that needs solving. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Jimmy.”

“I don’t want to be alone!” Jimmy blurts, and immediately flushes again. “It’s just, I’ve been alone for a long time, and there’s this demon thing that keeps showing up, and I’ve only just got you back, I’m not ready to let you go, and-”

“Hold on. What was that about a demon?”

“There’s this demon creature that I keep seeing, and it’s really messing with me,” he manages. “It sounds like you, sometimes, but all distorted, and I can’t handle it! You know me, I’m not brave or smart or anything, I’m just Jimmy!”

Scott’s frowning, worry wrinkling his brow. “Alright. How about you come to Rivendell for the night, then? I can protect us both easier there.”

Jimmy nods, feeling especially pitiful as Scott helps him to his feet. “Thank you.”

“Always. Do you still have the ring I gave you?”

“I do, I just….give me a moment to remember where I put it.”

“Good. It’s important.” Scott doesn’t elaborate, and Jimmy is too distracted looking for the ring to ask what he means.

Scott’s offer of protection feels flimsier when he has to lean on Jimmy as they travel back to Rivendell, but even then, it’s impossible to feel quite so afraid now that Jimmy isn’t alone anymore. And it’s even harder to fear anything that could happen when he’s safe in a warm bed, his head tucked against his husband’s chest. They’ll be okay, Jimmy thinks. They’ve been given another chance, and this time they’re going to get it right.

[fortune-maiden]

Tag Game:

10 Characters, 10 Fandoms, 10 Tags

Thank you for tagging me @dual-domination :D

1) Jin Zixuan - Mo Dao Zu Shi

I think a lot of people who follow me know me as a big 3zun + NHS fan - and I am - but also JIN ZIXUAN MY BELOVED! He is a good pure lotus, and a very underrated character imo. He is the spoiled kid with more money than sense, but he’s also a very straightforward kindhearted idealist, and that’s makes him really stand out against both his family, and the rest of the 1st gen kids. I just love him a lot and think he deserved better.

Also I think he and NHS should be besties. Let them be cute spoiled brats together!

2) Pei Ming - Tian Guan Ci Fu

I love Pei Ming. He is the best character in tgcf and I especially love how we’re introduced to him. He is basically built up to be the JGS off the story and I feel like intentionally designed to give readers a knee-jerk NO reaction. Then you actually meet him and, he’s pretty laid back? kind of a butt monkey?? REALLY LOYAL TO HIS FRIENDS??? Pei Ming is the character you want in your corner. He is just a very nice guy with terrible taste in friends, but still goes all out for them. Also I think he has a very neat backstory, for all the little we know about it...

3) Shen Shen - Word of Honor

So... I may have a Type. That type is “character initially built up as a villain, but is actually a loyal pure-hearted dumbass” So yes. Shen Shen. There was a moment that I realized this character is either the biggest mastermind of the show or really really stupid, and all signs pointed to stupid. He went from a character I didn’t care about to my favorite by the end of that episode :)

4) Sheng Changbai - Story of Minglan

Breaking the previous trend a bit... Minglan has a lot of really strong well-written female characters so I feel a bit bad picking one of the few male ones but... in my initial watch of this show I didn’t pay that much attention to him. I knew him as Tingye’s friend, and Minglan’s sensible older brother, who’s most notable role in the plot was helping Tingye set up his marriage to Minglan. On this rewatch though, he’s suddenly a lot more noticeable! He’s Tingye’s best friend and there for him for all of his lowest points. He’s a very good older brother to Minglan and one of the few allies she has at home. He’s so good!

5) Kadoya Tsukasa - Kamen Rider Decade

Ugh Decade, I said once, upon being introduced to Tsukasa in Kamen Rider Zi-O. Tsukasa does not know how to make a good first impression (in and out of universe) and his show is kind of a mess. But it’s a very entertaining mess and the more I was exposed to Tsukasa whether in Zi-O or other shows since he keeps showing up, he just started to grow on me a lot. Decade is still kind of a mess, but I think it also has a very likeable cast!

6) Mafuyu Kurosaki - Oresama Teacher

Okay more purehearted dumbasses time! :D Although Mafuyu is never a villain since she’s the protagonist of the story. A former bancho who is now trying to be a normal high school girl. In a school full of delinquents. That she is supposed to help clean up. That’s okay, to accomplish her goal she gets to have TWO secret identities! Super Bun, aka her in a rabbit mask & Natsuo, aka her in drag. It’s foolproof!

Oresama Teacher is that kind of series and I love it. Mafuyu is also just all around adorable, especially in the childhood flashbacks XD

7) Namine - Kingdom Hearts

I liked Chain of Memories!! It was my first KH game, and honestly I never minded the card game battle system, but also I think it is the KH story with the best plot. A lot of that does come from the Organization shenanigans, but Namine is a really great character too! She’s a tragic lonely girl, but also deconstructs a lot of the fairy tale tropes that would be associated with her - given that she’s invoking them. I remember latching onto her character as a kid, and she has remained one of my favorites since. There was always something nice about seeing her more confident appearance in KH2, and I really like her subplot in the KH2 novelization.

And then came the retcons.

8) Estelle Bright - Trails in the Sky

Estelle is Bestelle! I’m not really a fan of the direction that Trails series has taken since Cold Steel, but I still love the series a lot and have so many good memories associated with Trails in the Sky. Estelle is easily one of my favorite JRPG protagonists. She’s cheerful and silly, but very straightforward and kind, and will get the job done, no matter how many evil penguins get in her way!

9) Consort Jing - Nirvana in Fire

Please watch Nirvana in Fire. This show is so so good. And also full of so many great characters. LIKE CONSORT JING! Consort Jing is the mother of Prince Jingyan, one of the protagonists. Much like her unfavored son, she is an unfavored concubine to the emperor, and survives largely by remaining fairly lowkey. She is also probably the smartest character in the series, and watching her scheme is an absolute delight. Also her outfits are gorgeous!

(I mean okay, everyone’s outfits are gorgeous, but she still stands out! Especially in blue <3)

10) Aino Minako - Sailor Moon

One of my first fandoms! <3 I’ve always loved Sailor Venus, whether in Sailor V, the 90s anime, or her PGSM version. She’s very pretty and I think she had some of the most memorable moments in the 90s anime, such as Nurse Venus, impersonating Sailor Moon, running off with her pure heart, two-timing the Amazon Trio, ROUTE VENUS! Minako is cool and good, and I think her having great voice work in the Cloverway dub (which I grew up with) also helped xD

Also I really like her PGSM version even if she’s not her usual silly goofball self... but then Yasuko Kobayashi has this type of aloof tragic character in all of her shows (ex: Ayase, Sakurai Yuuto) and they just tend to become my favorites for some reason ^^”

Alrighty, as for tagging now... @siverwrites @azurefishnets @skywolfhd20 @plotdesigner @j-ellyfish @midnightstarsky @pbaintthetb @jaimebluesq @kikithedeceiver @mikkeneko and anyone else who wants to join in!!

[kjack89]

AITA

My bestie’s latest quarantine hobby is trolling through AITA on reddit and sending me ones she thinks will make me mad, so. I got inspired.

E/R, modern AU.

The sun was bright and the mood, all things considered, was high, as the crowd gathered by the river in preparation for the march downtown to call for defunding the police. Black Lives Matter was leading the protest, and Enjolras had volunteered Les Amis to serve as support and allies in whatever way they could, which mostly meant making sure folks were wearing masks and that no one decided to try something stupid with the cops.

“Good crowd,” Courfeyrac remarked, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet as he glanced around before looking back at Enjolras. “As much as I’m sure it’s killing you that they’re only calling for defunding and not abolition.”

“Yeah, well, not even a year ago, no one was talking about defunding the police,” Enjolras pointed out, a little sourly, adjusting his mask, which was emblazoned with WHITE SILENCE IS VIOLENCE. “I’ll take what progress I can get.”

Courfeyrac smirked. “You sound practically moderate.”

Enjolras scowled. “Take that back, or—”

His threat was cut off by the arrival of Joly, Bossuet and Grantaire. It was hard to tell by the masks all three wore, but Enjolras was pretty sure that all three were grinning, and judging by the way Bossuet was swaying, just slightly, it wasn’t just because they were in a good mood.

“I’ll take it you three decided to hit up a brunch spot on your way here?” Enjolras asked, even more sourly than before.

“A man has to eat,” Joly said innocently, which would have gone over much more believably had he not giggled at the end.

“Besides, we only ordered one drink,” Bossuet assured him.

Enjolras pinched the bridge of his nose. “Let me guess,” he said dryly, “you each ordered a bottomless mimosa.” He didn’t wait for any of them to confirm it. “And how many refills of said drink did you also order?”

Joly and Bossuet looked at each other and laughed, and Grantaire pulled his mask down to grin lazily at Enjolras. “Let me put it this way,” he said, “more than one and less than ten.” He paused. “Probably. I did lose track after about seven.”

Snickering, Joly and Bossuet headed over to join the rest of Les Amis, but when Grantaire made to follow, Enjolras blocked him, his arms crossed in front of his chest. “You’re drunk,” he said accusingly, and Grantaire’s grinned widened.

“Well, I’m sure as shit not sober.”

“Put your mask back on,” Enjolras ordered, less concerned for himself, as Grantaire was part of his quarantine bubble, and more for everyone else milling around before the march started. Especially any journalists who might love to get a shot of BLM protesters breaking the mask mandate. “And go home, Grantaire.”

Grantaire slowly pulled his mask back up over his mouth and nose, smoothing it into place before looking at Enjolras plaintively, all trace of humor vanishing from his expression. “Let me stay here,” he said, his voice soft, and not just from the cotton that covered his mouth.

Enjolras shook his head, well aware that even if Grantaire might suddenly sound sober, he wasn’t. “Go home,” he repeated. “The last thing we need is your drunk ass picking a fight with the cops or something worse and turning this whole thing into a riot instead of the peaceful protest its organizers intended.”

“What, you think I’m incapable of going two or three hours without starting a brawl?” Grantaire asked, incredulous.

Enjolras arched an eyebrow. “I think you’re incapable of a great many things.”

Grantaire’s lip curled. “Like believing, thinking, willing, living and dying?”

“Only you seem to think you’re incapable of dying,” Enjolras said quietly, before repeating, one more time, “Go home.”

But Grantaire shook his head, taking a step toward him. “If you’re so worried about it, then send Bahorel home, too!” he insisted. “Send home Joly and Bossuet who are just as drunk as I am. Or else let me stay.”

“No.”

Enjolras said the word calmly, but Grantaire recoiled as if he had shorted. “And why not?”

“Because I trust them!” Enjolras burst, his temper getting the better of him, and he scrubbed a hand across his face before adding, what he hoped was a calmer way, “I trust them to actually listen to my instructions and keep themselves out of trouble.”

But something in Grantaire’s face clouded as soon as Enjolras had said that he trusted them, and Enjolras had a bad feeling that he hadn’t really listened to the last part. “Right,” Grantaire said, a little dully, already turning away. “Well. I’ll see you later, I guess.”

“Grantaire,” Enjolras sighed, reaching out to catch his arm, but Grantaire shrugged him off, wandering towards the river, the hunch of his shoulders the only indication that he had any care in the world. Enjolras stared after him for a long moment, his expression troubled.

----------

Four days later, Grantaire rolled over in bed when his phone buzzed. He picked it up off his nightstand, saw that it was a text from Enjolras, and immediately tossed it down again, groaning.

He hadn’t talked to Enjolras since that morning of the BLM protest, and at this rate, he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to. Not when he knew that Enjolras didn’t trust him.

Joly would tell him he was being dramatic, and Bossuet would tell him to just text Enjolras and apologize and move on, and since Grantaire wanted to hear neither of those things, he also wasn’t talking to Joly or Bossuet.

Instead, he rolled over onto his stomach, grabbing his phone and stubbornly ignoring the text message from Enjolras still sitting, unread, in his messages. Instead, he clicked on twitter, figuring if he was going to sulk, he might as well sulk while reading about someone else’s misery.

A half hour later, Grantaire had scrolled through what felt like half of twitter before he stumbled upon a random tweet that linked to an ‘Am I the Asshole?’ post on the subreddit of the same name, and he glanced at the clock before deciding he had enough time to waste a couple of hours on a whole new level of misery.

He might’ve kept scrolling for hours, when he stumbled upon an AITA post that was surprisingly familiar.

Suspiciously familiar.

Like he had lived it.

He hesitated for only a moment before clicking on the post.

Posted by u/RadianceoftheFuture 8 hours ago AITA for kicking my friend out of a protest?

So I (25M) was attending a BLM protest the other day with the social justice organization I run. One of my friends, who we’ll call ‘R” (28M), showed up drunk and, IMO, looking to start a fight. This was the last thing I wanted, since we were there to be good allies, and starting fights or inciting a riot as white folks who will get away with it ain’t it. So naturally, I told him to go home.

Now here’s where I may be the asshole. R started arguing with me, and pointed out that some our other friends who were also there were also drunk, and one of our other friends who was there has a history of starting fights, so he asked me why I wasn’t making them leave. I told him it was because I trusted them.

Which is true, but not exactly how I wanted to word it, and I could tell that he was hurt by the implication that I didn’t trust him. And I do trust him, but I also didn’t want to spend the entire time worried about him. Anyway, he left, and he hasn’t talked to me since. If I’m the asshole, I want to apologize so that we can go back to being friends, and even if I wasn’t, I still want to figure out a way for us to talk again. I miss him. So tell me, AITA?

Grantaire stared at his phone, torn between something warm spreading in his chest at the fact that Enjolras cared enough to ask anonymous strangers on the internet about this, and freaking out because Enjolras had posted about their disagreement on the internet.

The man had only two speeds, it seemed, and somehow, Grantaire always ended up dealing with Enjolras on the highest speed.

Numbly, and mostly in an attempt to gather his thoughts, Grantaire scrolled through the comments on the post, unsurprised to see a decent mix of judgements from the redditors. More than expected YTAs (you’re the asshole), plus a number of NTAs (not the asshole), and, predominantly, a smattering of NAH (no assholes here).

Halfway down the page, he paused, realizing that the person who had written the post had responded to a question.

u/oldcoats_oldfriends - 7 hours ago INFO: why do you trust your other friends and not R?

u/RadianceoftheFuture - 6 hours ago Because R has a history of getting himself in trouble, whether by running his mouth off when he shouldn’t or picking fights with guys twice his side, and the trouble he gets into tends to happen after he’s been drinking. So when you put the two together, I was worried he’d do something stupid and get himself locked up or worse. And since keeping an eye on the rest of the protest was important, I knew I couldn’t afford to be distracted by also keeping an eye on him.

And for the record, I trust R with a lot. He’s not as ideological as a lot of us, doesn’t even have a lot of the same beliefs, but I know he would never do anything to hurt the cause, or me. Of course, he might not HELP the Cause, or me, but still. I’ve never once doubted that R would take a bullet for me, if it came to that. I would just never in a million years want him to.

Grantaire swallowed, hard. Of course he would take a bullet for Enjolras, or more, but it had never occurred to him that knowing that might make Enjolras worried. Worried that Grantaire would do something stupid.

If only the man knew that Grantaire worried about Enjolras in exactly the same way.

Hesitating for only a moment, he decided to leave a comment of his own.

u/MyFullGlass1832 - 1 minute ago NAH. Sure your friend shouldn’t have been drunk and you were right to kick him out, but drinking doesn’t make him an asshole (though not talking to you might). I am curious why you would have been worried about him. He’s a grown man and not your responsibility.

He quickly closed out of reddit, not wanting to do something stupid and refresh until Enjolras responded, but he only half-paid attention to the tweets he scrolled past, glancing at the clock to see if it was still pathetic for him to check for a response.

But to his shock, when he finally gave in and checked forty-five minutes later, Enjolras had answered, and something in Grantaire’s stomach twisted to know that he was still checking the thread, still seeking a resolution.

u/RadianceoftheFuture - 39 minutes ago Maybe ‘worried about’ is the wrong term, but he’s my friend. I didn’t want him to get hurt, or worse, because he was drunk. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s gotten hurt on my watch, and everytime it happens, it’s awful. And not just because he won’t shut up about it for the next six months - I always feel so guilty, like I should’ve been protecting him. I know that’s not realistic, so the very least I can do is send him home when I think he’s liable to hurt himself. That way I can sleep at night knowing I did what I could.

The breath caught in Grantaire’s throat, and his chest felt tight, especially as he read the follow up comments.

u/valiant.artisan - 34 minutes ago INFO: Are you and R gay?

u/tremble_b4apoppy - 26 minutes ago Dude you may be in love with R.

u/timidinrepose - 21 minutes ago OMG this is the sweetest thing I’ve read all day.

u/Lymantria_dispar - 12 minutes ago. Pretty sure this might go a little beyond just friendship. Either way, I’m glad you care about your friend, and even though you weren’t TA, you should call him and explain why you told him to go home. 

Grantaire couldn’t seem to stop his stupid smile as he stared at the computer, and this time, he didn’t hesitate, opening his text chain with Enjolras without reading any of Enjolras’s previous texts. He didn’t need to read them know.

NTA.

He sent the text and held his breath, wondering if Enjolras would acknowledge it, immediately, or try to play it cool. His one word answer indicate the former: Sorry?

But Grantaire wasn’t nearly as willing to play it coy. Not anymore. Your AITA post. I’m giving you my judgment. NTA.

In his mind, he could see Enjolras blush, that same way he did when he was frustrated, two spots of color rising high in his cheek as he stared at Grantaire. You saw that?

Even in his mind, it was a beautiful sight. Yeah

Then you should know, I agree with the majority opinion.

The image of Enjolras blushing disappeared, leaving Grantaire blinking at his phone, his brow furrowed as he tried to think of what the majority option would have been. Oh?

NAH.

Grantaire grinned, but before he could respond, Enjolras texted, Want to come over? I think I owe you an explanation in person.

I thought you’d never ask.

----------

u/ RadianceoftheFuture - 45 minutes ago UPDATE: AITA for kicking my friend out of a protest?

(Original.)

Thank you all very much for your feedback in the original post. There were a variety of perspectives on this, but some of the comments on the original post made me realize that I may in fact feel something more than friendship towards R, and it’s a good thing I figured it out, because he found the post, and even commented on it without me knowing! Anyway, we talked, I explained how I felt, and it turns out R’s had a thing for me pretty much since he’s known me. Anyway, we’re dating now, and while this isn’t exactly going to solve my problem of worrying about him, I also think he’ll be on somewhat better behavior now. For my sake at least.

We still have a lot to work on together, but we’re moving in the right direction. And to think, I probably never would’ve figured it out if it weren’t for reddit, of all the websites. 

u/MyFullGlass1832 - 3 minutes ago WIBTA for hijacking my boyfriend’s reddit post to tell him that I love him?

u/ RadianceoftheFuture - 2 minutes ago YTA for sitting literally two feet away from me and responding to a reddit post when we could be doing something far more exciting.

u/MyFullGlass1832 - 1 minute ago ...good point.

[watch-grok-brainrot]

Jin Guangyao's Violation of 忠孝仁义

So I had written about WWX and his strong sense of 忠孝仁义 last week. While I was writing it, I kept on thinking about JGY and how he managed to violate all of these virtues. I wanted to go into this characterization of him because I find it so interesting how opposite he is to WWX in the decisions he made. (Warning: i’m not nice to JGY here so if you don’t want him dragged, don’t read?)

忠- loyalty, devotion, fidelity (usually for country or monarch)

(Can I take a moment to talk about how much I LOVE THIS SHOT?! The blood of WRH on the camera lens, WRH falling over, the sudden shift to brightness that mirrors the scene in ep 50 where JGY obscures the sun in his bow (picture above the read more cut)! I can’t get over how much I LOVE the lighting and the way WRH collapses, making way for JGY to become the new sun. Foreshadowing much CQL Crew?!)

This one might be a stretch depending on how you read JGY. I fully believe he went to work for Wen Ruohan as Wen Zhuliu did -- seeking someone who will value his skills. However, WZL died for WRH and JGY just bided his time. (Note: While we know very little about Wen Zhuliu, we know he was at least 忠 and 义. He died for WRH and Wen Chao and refused to let WC desecrate Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan’s bodies. For that, I have to give him respect. He, despite everything, still had that jianghu sense of 义. Also, the man can count. And knows what a golden core feels like.)

So we know JGY gave Lan Xichen the maps, but he also lured them to Nightless City where the puppets were waiting. Had WWX not brought out the Stygian Tiger Amulet, would JGY have murdered WRH? Or would he have stayed in the shadows forever? As a viewer I have no idea what JGY is thinking, what he’s doing, or what he’s hoping for. He hides so well his intentions that there is debate about if he really was helping with the Sunshot Campaign or not! That isn’t something you can say about someone with loyalty. 

What upsets me further is that Nie Mingjie, having been JGY’s superior officer, sees JGY more clearly than LXC can. NMJ has seen JGY murder and has seen the level of self-serving vindictiveness JGY is capable of. In the case of the Sunshot Campaign, this self-serving attitude made JGY become a double agent uncommitted to either side. Too bad NMJ could not convince LXC of JGY’s duplicity. I’m gonna blame those dimples. 

The fact that we do not know JGY’s intent really shows his lack of 忠. If You Stand For Nothing, JGY, What Will You Fall For? (Answer: Himself and that is not 忠)

孝 - filial piety (deference to your lineage)

So for 孝, you’re supposed to respect your parents, honor your parents, and defer to your parents. What are you not supposed to do? Kill you father. That’s what.

So this should’ve been a really short section because that’s pretty cut and dry. But I want to look at what JGY says to JGS when JGY brings in Sisi and the other women. 

(He’s so creepy in this picture! *shudders*)

“父亲,我给你找来了你最爱的女人. 有很多个. 你高兴吗?”

“Father, I have brought you your favorite -- women. There are many. Are you happy?”

(Translation note: you can translate the line as your favorite women or your favorite -- women. I chose to translate it as the latter due to the context.)

First of all, the tone. JGY’s voice is breathy. I can almost hear a smile. He has zero moral qualms about this. He addresses his father as father, not dad or anything close. But he does acknowledge that relationship. And then he says he’s brought JGS’s favorite. There’s a slight emphasis on the favorite there. And it’s creepy. JGY adds the next line and goose bumps start to form on my skin. He knows his father’s sins and he’s punishing his father with it. Why are you doing this JGY?! And at the end, when it asks “Are you happy?” his voice is so sinister I want to scream. JGY clearly knows what he’s doing. He knows exactly what it means to be 孝 and chooses to make a mockery of 孝, to make a mockery of his father, and to kill his father. 

And then, after he watches JGS die, he tells Sisi and the other women to continue -- to desecrate JGS’s body. This is about as un-孝 as one can get! Remember, WWX and JC were willing to die to get JFM and YZY’s bodies back so they could be cremated and honored. The difference here is night and day! Yes, JGY was very good to his mother, including building a Guanyin Statue in her likeness and sparing Sisi who was a friend of his mother’s, but I cannot get over how much of an abomination he was toward JGS (even if JGS deserved an awful death).

仁 - benevolence, humanity, love of man

JGY has no 仁. Does JGY love anyone other than himself? Maybe his mom. (He might have some 仁 towards Su Sh*t She but that’s only suggested by the last couple of episodes.) That’s really it. He might have loved Jin Ling as his nephew. He might have loved LXC for LXC’s kindness and brotherhood. He might have loved Qin Su as whatever relationship he thinks they had. But when push comes to shove, JGY has zero benevolence towards anyone. He’s willing to kill Qin Su, take Jin Ling hostage, and take LXC hostage. (He also has no 义 but that’s the next section!)

And there’s ep 23. When LXC, JGS, and NMJ were discussing what to do with the Wens,  JGY suggested the Wens be imprisoned at QiongQi Path. Since WRH had ordered the slaughter of multiple clans, including the Jiangs at Lotus Pier, doing the same to him would not be considered unreasonable. Ruthless, yes, but a good show of might and order. This acceptance of murder is due to the concept of 诛九族. 诛九族 (zhū jiǔ zú) is one of the most severe punishments in ancient China. The character breakdown makes it fairly self explanatory:

诛 - to execute, kill, put to death

九 - nine

族 - family, clan,ethnic group, or tribe

诛九族 condemns you and your entire family to death (Depending on the source, some say it’s you + 8 types of relatives. Some say it’s everyone related to you from 4 generations above to 4 generations below).

By suggesting the Wen remnants be imprisoned and not slaughtered, JGY presented himself as 仁. However, by turning around and slaughtering the people per JGS’s wishes, JGY knowingly chose the immoral path where blood flowed like rivers. 

(Also! The way this shot pans down makes me think about how JGY is descending into a hell of his own making...)

义-  righteousness and code of brotherhood

Good god, 义. I have so many feelings about 义. Let’s start with some history because CONTEXT is so important. So when you ask a chinese person on the street to give you an example of 义, I’m willing to bet one of the most common answers you will get is 桃园结义 (tao yuan jie yi, or peach garden/grove establishment of brotherhood). This is THE story of fraternal love between non-blood related men. 

So quick and dirty synopsis of 桃园结义 and the three kingdoms story (I actually haven’t read it and it’s been a while since I actually tried to figure out the plot… so hopefully this is all correct!). Three men (刘备、关羽、张飞/ Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei) met on the streets, fought each other, became besties, and decided to start a rebellion. They took over one third of the country with the oldest (刘备) being the monarch and the other two working at his side (a little Yunmeng bros feel there, right? You’ll be the leader, I’ll be your right hand man). And they died for each other. 关羽 was the first to go. To seek revenge, 张飞 worked his men to the rebellion. Two of 张飞’s subordinates ultimately decapitated him while he was sleeping and brought it to their enemy. 张飞’s head and body are buried in two different cities in China (doesn’t this make you think of NMJ’s fate? Because it did when I was thinking about this and I wanted to cry. Also, 张飞 started out as a butcher. SERIOUSLY CQL/MDZS, can we pretend to be SUBTLE!?). 刘备 continued seeking revenge. Prior to 关羽’s death, the three kingdoms were in semi-equilibrium where the two smaller ones were allied against the larger. However, 关羽 being killed by their kinda-ally destroyed the delicate balance between the three kingdoms. 刘备 could’ve tried to make peace but he wasn’t going to let his sworn brother’s murder go unavenged. They all died in the end but with honor and brotherhood intact. 刘备 and 张飞’s determination to avenge 关羽’s death epitomizes the virtue of 义. They are willing to die for eachother. 

In CQL the parallelism to the 桃园结义 imagery is obvious to anyone who has a cultural background that screams Romance of Three Kingdoms at you. Let’s take a look, ok?  

A quick Google image search yields these images (I couldn’t choose): 

You know what they look like? This (from ep 40): 

You know what 桃园结义 looks like when mainland China made a live action? This: 

And you know what that reminds me of in CQL (ep 23)? 

Are you freaking out now about the visual parallels? Ok. Good. Because we’re moving onto a tiny bit of text comparison because i’m excited and i can. 

Per Romance of Three Kingdoms (note: historically inspired novel, not history), 刘备、关羽、张飞 swore the following oath: 

“念刘备、关羽、张飞，

Hope that Liu Bei, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei

虽然异姓，既结为兄弟，

Even though we have different last names,since we have sworn to be brothers

则同心协力，救困扶危；

Then let us unite our hearts and efforts towards helping the needy

上报国家，下安黎庶。

Repaying our country, bringing peace to the people.

不求同年同月同日生，

We do not ask to be born on the same day of the same month of the same year

只愿同年同月同日死。

But hope to die on the same day of the same month of the same year

皇天后土，实鉴此心，

Heaven and earth, verify our hearts

背义忘恩，天人共戮！”

If we turn our backs to righteousness and forget charity, may we be slaughtered by all. 

Now, let’s look at the oath said by the 3zun:

“神明在上。

Brilliant gods above, 

今日我兄弟三人在此立下重誓，

Today, we three brothers swear a solemn oath here 

上报仙门，下安黎庶 ， 

To repay our cultivation sects, To bring peace to the people.

天地同证，如有异心，

Heaven and earth be our witnesses. If we become disloyal, 

千夫所指，天人共怒”

May a thousand men point their fingers at us and may we be incite the anger of all

Even some of the wording is verbatim. The parts I bolded are what I was excited by since they’re either parallel or verbatim. 

The first set of lines: 上报国家，下安黎庶 and 上报仙门，下安黎庶 . (Remember when I guessed in my WWX post that since there are no countries, the cultivation sects are the target of 忠? This is my proof that I was right!) My hubris aside, this is the part of their oath where they swear to be both 忠 and 仁 together. The wording is verbatim except for the part that doesn’t apply to the CQL universe! 

The second set of lines: 天人共戮 vs 天人共怒. The sentence/phrase format and message is identical-- betray this oath and incur wrath.  (I can’t help but headcanon NMJ wanted to say 天人共戮 because it’s so much more metal but JGY was like, that’s really severe and convinced LXC to side with him to get it changed.)

Even the structure of the oaths are similar. Both oaths start with an introduction (we are three who want to be brothers), both oaths ask the heaven and earth to see them (Heaven and earth, verify our hearts & heaven and earth be our witnesses), and both oaths call upon the wrath of the people for vindication in case of betrayal. The CQL version is an abridged version of the three kingdoms oath and the writers set that up along with all the imagery because they want us to be constantly thinking about the three kingdoms bros and their amazing “even after death we’re still brothers” sense of 义.  They want us to compare JGY’s 义 with that 义 and find JGY lacking. 

The obvious betrayal of 义 is NMJ’s death.  Not only is JGY the cause of NMJ’s death, he butchers (i’m cringing at my own pun... but it’s so accurate) NMJ’s body so that NMJ’s spirit cannot rest. 

But, to me, what JGY does to LXC is betrayal on par with what he does to NMJ (and not dissimilar to what Xue Yang does to Xiao Xingchen). As we went over in the section about 仁, JGY says one thing so that LXC suggest JGY handles the matter. When everyone leaves, JGY does the un-仁 thing, essentially with LXC’s blessing. JGY kills NMJ but he does it by asking LXC to teach him how to play guqin. LXC becomes an unknowing accomplice (like XXC who becomes the killer of tongueless victims of corpse poison). 

So remember in my WWX post how I said WWX took on what he perceived as JC’s debts so JC doesn’t end up 不仁不义? JGY says one thing and does another in front of LXC. He knows LXC cares deeply about being righteous and kind. He knows LXC wants to do good. And he leads LXC down a path of self doubt and regret. LXC ends up teaching JGY the techniques that kill NMJ. LXC lets JGY handle the Wen remnants. Thus, unlike WWX who tries to absolve JC, JGY intentionally puts LXC into the position of 不仁不义. 

Can WWX and JGY be more diametrically opposed (foes)?

[wetalkinboutbooks]

New Year, New Review 🤩

A Sky Beyond the Storm by Sabaa Tahir

Summary: The long-imprisoned jinn are on the attack, wreaking bloody havoc in villages and cities alike. But for the Nightbringer, vengeance on his human foes is just the beginning.

At his side, Commandant Keris Veturia declares herself Empress, and calls for the heads of any and all who defy her rule. At the top of the list? The Blood Shrike and her remaining family.

Laia of Serra, now allied with the Blood Shrike, struggles to recover from the loss of the two people most important to her. Determined to stop the approaching apocalypse, she throws herself into the destruction of the Nightbringer. In the process, she awakens an ancient power that could lead her to victory--or to an unimaginable doom.

And deep in the Waiting Place, the Soul Catcher seeks only to forget the life--and love--he left behind. Yet doing so means ignoring the trail of murder left by the Nightbringer and his jinn. To uphold his oath and protect the human world from the supernatural, the Soul Catcher must look beyond the borders of his own land. He must take on a mission that could save--or destroy--all that he knows. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Overall: The final instalment of the Ember Quartet had us crying in the metaphorical club. It’s exciting, terrifying, and probably the horniest book in the series and we loved it!

~Spoiler-full discussion below~

The Good:

→ Elias and Laia

Geena: In the final instalment of the Ember quartet, Sabaa deprives us of an Elias POV and slaps us with the Soulcatcher instead… He’s very much an ‘emotions are bad’ type of dude, the opposite of Elias who always had so many… but both of them are so angsty? The Soulcatcher really likes to beat up trees when his memories from when he was Elias resurface which was so emo to me. Despite being possessed by Mauth he is also such a coward, especially around Laia, because Elias’ feelings for Laia scare him and every single time he is like *running emoji*. We were surprised that Sabaa let him remain the soulcatcher for so long, every chapter I was like ‘Okay, maybe this is where Elias breaks through…’ but no.. Elias remained buried UNTIL their night in the cabin… the Soulcatcher was like ‘k I’m out’ but ONLY for ONE NIGHT and that still makes me scream.. The Soulcatcher was like ‘you kids are too horny for me, I’m gonna take a nap for a bit and let Elias take over bc Jesus.’ 

Despite it all, the Soulcatcher’s chapters were enjoyable albeit painful because this man was so duty bound, like even Elias wasn’t that dedicated when he was a Mask. But near the end, when we finally get the chapter that starts with Elias…. Ngl I cried a little, and immediately wanted to reread the whole series (I feel like Sabaa did this on purpose to torture us). I want to fight Sabaa though, like she did an amazing job showing how Elias’ conscious and the Soulcatcher’s conscious were constantly fighting one another, and how Elias’ memories of the people he loved ultimately fuelled the Soulcatcher’s actions… even though the Soulcatcher was like ‘I’m doing this for the ghosts’ like okay… no ghost told you to keep protecting and kissing Laia but you still did it…  

Kae: Okay, so Geena summed up my boy Ilyaas pretty damn well. Also, we LOVE HIS ETHNIC NAME IN THIS HOUSE. But um, YES. Elias was a sad boy ™ the whole time while fighting his emotions and ultimately losing. It was so PAINFUL as a reader, seeing all of  his chapters except the ONE say ‘Soulcatcher’. But when it finally said ELIAS again, I too, started to cry. Because he was BACK. 

You can all thank the power of Laia’s determination to seduce Elias back to himself, because our girl was NOT giving up. She said ‘you gonna get this coochie, dammit’ and in the cabin, Elias was like ‘well i’ll be damned. I sure as hell am. I am BACK BAYBEEEEE’

Geena: Sabaa Tahir said horny rights like ksjdnfdsjknfsdk

Kae: AUFVAHLHVKJ. BUT YES. In the end, love won. And so did sex because everyone was doin it or TRYING to do it. I guess when the world is ending, you only get one last time to uhh…. Have a good time. So they made sure they did lmao 

Now, let’s get into Laia. 

Laia. My sweet little cupcake. My mug of tea with too much honey. This girl has been through literal hell and back, and yet, she kept going. She NEVER gave up. Laia woke up in book 4 like ‘Today i will commit crimes. Helene and I crave violence’ and they both just started kicking ASS and I LOVED THAT. I was really happy to see the progression of Laia and Helen’s friendship and how they genuinely grew to like one another and see each other as besties. They both deserved a girl friend and I’m glad they found a friendship within each other. 

Laia is the bravest character in this damn book. She went from poor scholar, to slave, to hero and she was brave because she had to be. Laia is strong and took on their entire world. She had help, but she did a lot of it alone and that takes some real guts. She is the most genuine, sweetest, bravest girl and I love her. <3 

Laia also single handedly brought the Ilyaas back from his Soulcatcher shit. During this whole book she was just like ‘You know what? I think I’mma go mess with Elias’ emo ass today to see if I can get him to kiss me or something’ THEN SHE PROCEEDED TO SHOW UP AT THIS MANS HOUSE (realm or whatever) BUTTASS NEKKID. And he saw her and immediately flew the hell out of there it was TOO MUCH and he LIKED IT but couldn’t admit it. 

Geena: You know what I love about that whole scene was like earlier she was like ‘He’s a lost cause idc’ and then Darin was like ‘Elias wouldn’t give up on you if that happened’ and Laia was like ‘you’re right, he would show up stark naked and try to seduce me back to my body’ and she did just that...

Kae: SHE DID. SHE SHOWED UP AND SHOWED OUT! Like, her entire mission was to bring Elias back while also planning on taking down the Nightbringer. But she was straight up like ‘okay but not before i get my man back through SEDUCTION’. Ugh, the mango scene?  Superb. 

Geena: Laia is hands down one of my favourite book characters to exist. Her journey from the first book being a scared girl with a missing brother, to being the face of a revolution… like the GROWTH. Like Kae mentioned, she and Helene end up as BESTIIEESSSS, and I was surprised at how natural they seemed. Because we went from them hating each other to close friends, but despite not seeing their development, it came off so natural? So, I loved that! 

Kae covered Laia’s character pretty thoroughly, she was both a horndog and a bad bitch. Like this girl has pretended to be a Slave for the Commandment to travelling a desert by herself and facing off a squad of Jinn… In retrospect, Laia is a unique case, she’s allowed to be kind and caring and doesn’t have to be a fighter type to be strong. She’s not the chosen one, which this book made clear, it could’ve been anyone to fight the Nightbringer… but only Laia was strong enough to love him AND defy him. And I just love her a lot… she was very much an anime protagonist with the power of love, family, and friendship… anyways I love her and that’s all I have to say

→ Helene 

Geena: The way I ended up liking and rooting for Helene this book? Came out of left field. To be honest, in previous books I didn’t feel much for her other than ‘stop chasing after Elias and Laia pls.’ But this book I wanted her to win, especially with the fight against the germanic-esque invaders. She goes through substantial development, no longer seeing Scholars as slaves and taking their opinions seriously.. Like Laia, Musa, and Darin were all a part of her crew. A stark difference from Book 1 Helene, who thought Scholars only had one role in the world and that was slaves. 

Helene… like Laia… really has the Ember equivalent of hot girl summer with Harper… all the time she spends denying it she is like *jumps on him the chance she gets*. The bath scene… Helene’s power was turning her tortuer into her MAN… But also Sabaa said that ‘yes she has changed, but she has to repent for her sins’ and that’s why Helene is basically left alone at the end (save for Laia, Elias, and Musa). 

Kae: So not gonna lie, I never actually disliked Helene. I saw her as the flawed character she was in the beginning. During her cat and mouse chase with Elias and Laia in the beginning, she would piss me OFF because like, that’s your BEST FRIEEEEEND. JUST STAAAAHP. But also, it was him or her and her family's death, so I get it. But I always saw potential in her to be better. And thank GOODNESS she went through all that character development. Because she was a damn menace in the beginning. 

Also like Geena mentioned; Helly and Harper finally hooking up? I swear the heavens opened up in that moment because EVERYONE could feel their tension. LIKE JUST DO IT ALREADY. You can’t fight love, baybeeee

Watching Helly grow as a person was really rewarding as a reader. Like Geena said, she went from hating scholars to being like ‘hmm, maybe my opinions are shitty?’ and straight up changed.  I also feel for her because she lost her ENTIRE family and like, honestly? I would’ve given up. BUT SHE DIDN’T. She’s a literal fighter, bred for this shit. So she FOUGHT. And I was really scared she was gonna get murked because y’all know Keris’ tiny evil ass doesn’t have a chill button. And when they were fighting? I was like LAWD PLS DON’T  TAKE HELLY. But instead he took Harper *upside down smiley face* SO THAT WAS FUCKED UP AND I WASN’T READY FOR IT. But a piece of me knew it was coming. 

The Bad:   

→ Darin and Harper

Geena: As Kae mentioned… Harper kicked the can in this book :’( His eventual fall came from loving and caring for Helene too much, which left him open and gave Keris the chance to stab him. Harper was basically Helene’s heart outside her body, and when he went down so did Helene. I had had a feeling when Book 3 ended that Harper wouldn’t make it, but I WASN’T HAPPY ABOUT BEING RIGHT FOR ONCE… Harper had finally met his brother (Elias) and hadn’t even had a chance to meet the real Elias and talk to him about their father or other sibling stuff. LIKE OF ALL CHARACTER DEATHS… AND THERE WAS A LOT… The other one that came out of left field was fucking Darin of Serra… DARIN… THE ONE DUDE WE SPENT TWO WHOLE BOOKS SAVING… DEAD WITH A SNAP OF HIS NECK!! I WAS SO MAD

LIKE SABAA HAD US THINKING HE WAS GONNA BE SAFE, SHE GAVE HIM A LIL GIRLFRIEND AND EVERYTHING BUT THEN SHE GOES.. AND KILLS HIM?? JUST LIKE THAT?? Then we had to read the scenes where Elias helps both Darin and Harper pass over into the afterlife and I was just *cries angrily* 

Kae: Well, THAT was sad. Have you ever just like, felt your heart break into a million tiny irreparable pieces? That’s how I felt when Darin and Harper died. Because like, they were both trying to save the women they loved. Darin to Laia, (foolishly so against the Nightbringer) but I would do it for my little sister too. And Harper with Helene against evilass Keris. Dude, that shit just sucked. It hurt to read. It hurt to imagine the girls feeling the pain of their deaths. They were both such good men. And DARIIIN. 

Darin didn’t have to go out like that, man. It was such a harsh death. No last words. It was just over and his body was just gone. I wish Laia would’ve been able to talk with him at The Waiting Place at least one last time. But it is what it is. I hated to see both of them go. Especially since Darin pretty much sparked this whole series. 

Sure, Laia, Helene, and Elias were the main characters. But Darin was the spark that started the fire. And he didn’t even get to see it’s flames extinguished. 

Geena: He was the ember in the ashes… literally like Sabaa uses that for Elias and Laia but it applies to Darin the most

Kae: LITCHRALLY gonna get teary eyed over here. Our boys deserved better :( 

Conclusion 

Geena: This was not at all a disappointing end to the series we’ve followed closely for so long. The different plot points and character arcs were tied up nicely, and Sabaa Tahir showed us once again why she’s one of the best fantasy writers on this side of the Milky Way. We didn’t even bother including a ‘The Ugly’ section because we loved it too much ksfmsd. The only qualm I’d have with the end was the empire remaining, Helene recognized the Scholars as equals but centuries of pain isn’t easily forgotten you know? SO THAT’S WHY I THINK WE DESERVE A SEQUEL SERIES… BUT I DIGRESS… OVERALL, I loved this book and the ending for all the characters ESPECIALLY FOR OUR GIRL LAIA <3

Kae: YES. I AGREE 100% WITH GEENA. It was such a beautiful end to the series. Sabaa is  GENIUS and her storytelling is phenomenal. I loved every little surprise she’s hidden in all of the books. ESPECIALLY WITH COOK BEING ALIVE? I DIDN’T SEE THAT SHIT COMING AT ALL. LIKE HOLY SHIT? So Laia had some remaining family afterall, and I think that’s very sweet. I’m really sad to see the series be over with and Geena and I are both *~HOPIIIING~* for an epilogue or some little crumbs or SOMETHING with the gang and how their lives ended up into middle adulthood or something. 

Geena: I would literally take a single paragraph… Ms. Tahir…. Blease…

Kae: But yes, in conclusion, Laia has a heart of gold and we LOVE HER. She’s brave and strong and smart, and was the only one out of THOUSANDS to stick for herself and defy the Nightbringer, and save the whole world. Helene has come a long way and she developed beautifully as a character. And Elias. Ohhh, Ilyaas. His continued self sacrifice and bravery and love still helped him live in the end and I think that’s beautiful. 

[esepoimipullula]

BIG spoilers for Fantomius: L’inizio e la fine by Marco Gervasio

Can I just... rant a little bit about how freaking HAPPY the last two episodes of this series made me?! Oh, whatever, I’ll do it anyway. It might just be my love for unlikely protagonist/antagonist team-ups but I LOVED the temporary (or not-so-temporary) alliance we ended up with.

First of all, I really liked Pinko going from “bumbling minor adversary/enemy who’s comically uptight and a bit arrogant but a good person at heart” to “stone-cold badass” in like two lines. It actually fits very well, all things considered.

(”I could have left like Lord Quackett and his girlfriend did! But I’m not a coward, I don’t run away!”

“If injustice is law, it is our duty to oppose it!”)

On the other hand, I also liked him going back to planning to catch Fantomius and his team as soon as the Glomgold emergency was solved and the situation went back to normal. Pinko is not a cold man, but he puts his duty above all else. And his duty is not to any mayor or to any law, but to Duckburg and its citizens. He has to defend them from Wrong and make things Right for them. To him, stealing is Wrong, whether you’re stealing from the poor or from conceited or dishonest nobles. To make things Right, you have to catch the thieves. Likewise, exploiting those who are defenseless against you for your personal gain is Wrong, whether you’re a criminal or someone in a position of power. To make things Right, the one who’s doing the exploiting must be brought down and exposed, by any means necessary. These two thoughts can and do coexist, one doesn’t cancel the other out. Not even if the thief helps catch the shady powerful person in the act. I can appreciate a character with such strong convinctions and ideals.

Then... there’s Lady Senape. (A small side note: did any Fantomius stories with her ever get officialy translated? Because I’ve seen people on here refer to her with her original name and I can’t help but wonder... do you guys know it literally means Lady Mustard? Like, because she’s kind of a foil to Dolly Paprika? Paprika... Mustard...?)

Anyway, I really, really loved her in this one. Seeing her go from the usual petty but cunning and ruthless enemy to unlikely ally ro actual friend was extremely satisfying, even if most of her character development happened offscreen.

Now, this is probably an unpopular opinion, but... I’ve always liked her as a character. Because she’s a foil to Dolly but she’s not just some Clingy Jealous Ex or a shrew who can’t actually manage to do anything on her own, because she’s kind of a foil to John, too, because I have a fondness for friends/lovers to enemies situations, and because I was utterly charmed by her first appearance. The mystery, the tension, the whole Chinese theatre thing with the symbolic colours... it all made a big impression on me, y’know? So, that’s why I was pretty disappointed when it looked she was never going to get any real character development. In any direction, I mean. Had she turned out into something like a Big Bad to rival Glomgold, I would have been just happy that she got a little something more to do in the Fantomius stories.

And that was were I thought her character was headed to when I began reading L’inizio e la fine. I mean, she WAS getting the chance to seriously mess up everyone’s future, right? And well, she did, pretty much...

But the prologue of L’inizio e la fine came with a little article on Lady Senape herself. Probably just to recap her previous appearances for forgetful or occasional readers, sure. But between explaining why she wanted revenge on Fantomius after Fu Man Etchù, comparing and contrasting her to Dolly, and showing Gervasio’s studies on her character, the writer slipped in a bit of backstory that... I don’t really remember if it had ever come up before, honestly.

“Jen Yu comes from a family of Chinese farmers and she’s a descendant of Ching Shih, the nom de plume of the lady pirate who terrified the Chinese Seas at the beginning of the XIX century,” the article said. And being fascinated by lady pirates, Ching Shih herself, AND the idea of Jen Yu having a backstory offering all kinds of possibilities and parallels (did she go from downtrodden peasant to ruthless thief, unlike John who went from dissatisfied nobleman to gentleman thief? Did she discover her ancestry and immediately decide to emulate Ching Shih to take revenge on society for a difficult upbringing, kinda like early days Paperinik? Was a secret diary involved? Were her parents honest folks or was Ching Shih’s glory reduced into a family of petty thieves and crooks, and either way, did Jen Yu ever want to commit great and daring crimes to make her pirate ancestor proud? Did...) I couldn’t stop reading too deep into it. Though in the end, my main take from it was... “Wait, is she getting an actual backstory and an article all about her because she’s gonna be... important?? Sympathetic??? Someone the readers will be supposed to root for at some point????”

Nevertheless, I tried not to raise my own hopes too much. For all I objectively knew, Senape was just gonna be petty and vindictive and have her backstory never actually mentioned or referenced in-story and...

And then, Distopia and La fine e l’inizio happened. And the only thing that didn’t make me absolutely giddy about her was the lack of “Well, you know, one of my ancestors really was a pirate!” lines during the whole “boarding Glomgold’s ships” sequence.

Of course, I did spend the week between those two stories theorizing how Senape would turn out to be secretly working with Glomgold and spying on the group even as she pretended to have become their friend. Or betray everyone and ally herself with Glomgold as soon as things got too tough for her liking. Or help take down Glomgold but then immediately try to steal the golden mask again and turn back to the asshole I knew and loved (even as I longed to see something more done with her...). Needless to say, I didn’t (dare hope to) think the change would stick or even bring about any significant character development. And yet, what did I get?

Senape working together with Dolly and Copernico for a whole year without ever selling them out. The three of them being actually a good team. The three of them becoming actual friends. Senape and Dolly giving up on their “Lol your boyfriend used to be my lover don’t you feel sooo jealous when you think about it?” “Bitch you broke his heart and you’re an asshole and I want to punch you in the face” dynamic to... become an honest-to-goodness adorable duo? And Senape becoming a permanent (?) member of the team because Dolly asked her and Copernico vouched for her and she was all for it because she liked working with them?? Dolly defending Jen Yu from John’s objections and John giving in even if he rightfully doesn’t trust his ex completely???

*squees*

Btw, I’m also just so happy about Dolly having what seems to be shaping up as a regular female friend that is also involved in her criminal life. She deserves that. <3

If it doesn’t all go back to normal in the next Fantomius series with a sudden backstabbing, that is. I’ll be very sad for Dolly if that happens. Hope they just keep being besties.

[clumsyclifford]

just finished writing this and realized how long it got oh jeez i am so sorry. i promise it is just me rambling about nothing and does not require a lot of thought.

i made a playlist of r5's entire discography and am listening to it (in order) because there is something wrong with me. if only it had their very first ever ep on it (ready set rock ep you may have been slight garbage but i don't love you any less for it). oh god i realized i fucked up and didn't add the songs by "ross lynch and r5" from the austin & ally soundtrack. i'm already three songs into louder and they would have been between louder and say you'll stay. what do i have to do is actually one of r5's best songs and i'm pretty sure i remember ross calling it one of his favs fairly recently?? which was so valid of him. anyways. this is now an r5 song ranking. i'm bored and avoiding doing assignments. i'm going to name my top 10 r5 songs off the top of my head. source: me trying to remember every song they've ever released.

no. 1: easy love. nothing comes close. my fav song they ever made. they haven't made anything that even compares since (this is /hj. tde has some valid songs).

no. 2: wishing i was 23. what do you mean i only love this song because of my nostalgia bias no i don't.

no. 3: what do i have to do? i will not elaborate i do not know why i adore this song as much as i do it's just a cute song.

no. 4: repeating days. THE END. THE FUCKING END AFTER THE SONG ENDS THE "all i've got is cheap wine" PART ross sounds so vulnerable and him with just the guitar makes me so :(((((( it's so gorgeous that part makes the whole song and that makes it top 3 for me.

no. 5: i want u bad. THAT SONG FUCKS LIVE. I DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT I WILL PROBABLY NEVER SEE IT LIVE AGAIN. (speaking of concerts i can't believe you bought concert tix and fucking forgot??? that is actually so fucking funny bella it made me laugh i will not lie)

no. 6: dark side. so so valid of them. it just fucks. it's so good. it makes u want to dance. u named a fic after a lyric from it which was so valid.

no. 7: did you have your fun? i love this song. no i will not elaborate. it is a sexy song. what's that one lyric from it that's hot. "love me, leave me, left me numb" some lyrics you love for no particular reason and for me that's one of those lyrics.

no. 8: f.e.e.l.g.o.o.d. this has alwayysss been one of my favs by them. since it dropped. some lore about it: the like crowd yelling that's in it they recorded live at a festival they played and i remember there being hype about this being an unreleased song when they had the crowd chanting "f-e-e-l-g-o-o-d" with no explanation. also another fun fact is that the final version of this is just a demo?? source: my slightly faulty memory remembering ross saying something about some demos being so good that you keep them as they are and it later being revealed this was the song he was talking about.

no. 9: i know you got away. sexy song. they released a vocals only version of it (that has apparently since been deleted?? i went to look for it on youtube and couldn't find it?? wtf r5) that has stuck with me ever since.

no. 10: loud. but more specifically the acoustic or live version. this was their encore song that they played to end every show. i MISS IT. it holds a special place in my heart.

honorable mentions: hurts good (a good song and THEIR LAST THEY EVER RELEASED VV SAD), wild hearts (fun fact almost picked a lyric from this song as my senior quote till i found out they didn't write this song), fallin' for you (YOU LIKE MISMATCHED SOCKS WITH POLKA DOTS YOU LIKE YOUR PIZZA COLD I THINK THATS HOT i never saw this song live and i'm still fucking pissed about it ok), do it again (it's such a sweet song :(((( "listen to the airplanes as we count the stars" gives me the same vibes as six feet under the stars), things are looking up (generally just a cute song!! this whole ep is just very good and very cute!! when i saw it live one time during the bridge ross was like "everyone shut up this is my favorite part >:(" and that was so valid of him) i can't say i'm in love (it's just a fun song!! it was a bonus track on sln from another country), trading time (this is the only song from the new addictions ep that i listed and u know what i'm Not sorry)

ok. i will spare you and stop rambling. other honorable mentions: if you have never listened to cool girl (feat. the driver era) by new beat fund i highly recommend. it's an okay song but it was one of the first songs released after they rebranded as tde and includes ross saying motherfucker with his whole chest. i will never again feel what i felt the first time i heard that song having listened exclusively to them as r5 whose songs they couldn't curse in because they were on a disney label.

in conclusion. i miss r5. ross saying fuck is kinda hot. i listened to the entirety of louder while writing this. i am sorry to dump this in your askbox. i still have multiple assignments to do and should probably go to sleep at a decent time. it feels fitting to finally stop writing while easy love is on. when i was 12 and this ep came out i thought "dirtbags" was a curse word and was scared to sing it. they changed it to "douchebags" live.

that's all. goodbye. have a lovely night. listen to r5's discography for clear skin thriving crops etc etc. sorry to lovepost about them in your askbox i only have (1) former r5 mutual that i still talk to (a very interesting but long story. she's the gemini bestie) and she will only lovepost about r5 once in a while. feel free to ignore my ask calling cody bellinger hot i was a different person when i wrote it i am now a changed woman. LOVE YOU MWAH - bella but she misses r5

hi hi im going to answer this with minimal thought because im tired but i dont wanna leave this sitting in my inbox forever but for the record all your r5 opinions are valid. ok lets go

1. easy love slaps ive heard it a couple times over the last few days (it played in the car today while i was driving sam n meghna to the airport) and it does fuck i can see why it's your fave

2. i do not know this song

3. A BOP A WHOLE FUCKIN BOP

4. oh i do love repeating days great choice i would have to hear it a few more times to get it in my head but i remember really liking it when i listened to the album it's on

5. also a banger and i'm glad my concert tickets situation made you laugh it made me laugh too imagine being this useless gldskfjgs

6. DARK SIDE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS GIVE IN TO YOUR DARK SIDE YOUR DARK SIDE IIIIIIIII SEE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT MEEEEE

7. ANOTHER FUCKING BANGER this one is probably among my favorite r5 songs maybe top 5 LOVE ME LEAVE ME LEFT ME NUMB (guitar moment) DID YOU HAVE YOUR FUUUuuuuUUUUUNNNNN i feel the same way about this lyric as you

8. oh shit thats pretty cool i dont know this song tbh i cant remember how it goes i know ive heard it once or twice but. id have to listen to it again so i will keep you posted on that

9. i do not know this one either

10. interesting choice for top ten but i support you, this song fucks and ever since you mentioned it it's been in my subconscious and randomly getting stuck in my head i think i need to listen to it to get it out. it does hit ur right

11. i don't know hurts good or wild hearts or things are looking up or i can't say i'm in love or trading time well enough to say anything about them. but i really like fallin for you it's one of those cheap fun songs but emphasis on fun, and also really like do it again one day ill write a fic based on that song

i have not listened to cool girl i put it on my to listen playlist so hopefully i remember to listen to it soon ill be honest though i dont think im prepared for ross lynch saying motherfucker w his whole chest like i think itll take me out. so. anyway. i hope you got your assignments done. thank you for the r5 lovedump feel free to drop in anytime with more

[ayashiki-i-i]

Ted Lasso Progress Report 2.0: They lost. They tried their best and they got their team together and Ted got Jamie to come around and Roy had his last hurrah and still they lost. Well. If that wasn't one of the most heart-breaking, brilliant things a show has ever done. I kind of knew they will loose through fandom osmosis, but sometimes fandom gives off false signals so until the last moment of that Man City game I kept hoping they'll win, but they lost. Hope really is what kills you. On the bright side, Jamie got a soldier!

I had to stop my binge for few days cause I’ve been working nights, the horror. But I’m back, I will shortly start on a second season, I’m beyond excited and rather scared, because there’s no way this show can stay this positive with the things it’s been dipping into towards the end. God where do i start I love it so much. Jason Sudekis is still everything, that panic attack omg that entire episode was so good. I’m so glad they allow Ted to be sad and angry, but still have him apologise immediately. That scene where he looses it for just a moment at Nate at the end of a very bad day was just so humanising. On the topic of Nate, he’s still my spirit animal, and I’m SO happy with his promotion ngl I cried when that happened. I am worried though, because there is one very obvious direction they can go with him, and I think they will go there, because we’ve seen now several times that when he is allowed, or thinks no one sees him, Nate can be pretty… Mean. Come on Ted, your coaching son needs you too! You can’t heal years of abuse with just a little bit of kindness and a promotion. I love how the topic of parenthood is being slowly explored, mainly through Jamie, but also Nate, and Ted as a father, Roy as a surrogate father, and Higgins. Even Trent Crimm (The Independent) has a daughter! I love Higgins finally standing up to Rebecca, although i wish he got just a liiiittle bit of karma for being Rupert’s lackey all these years, and I love her coming to him after coming clean to Ted. I love how her finding a true ally in Higgins is tied to Ted, who was the first person in a long time to show her having a support team around her can be a good thing. I continue loving all my football sons, Dani Rojas being just an excellent addition all around, and I was so happy that Isaac made the captain. The entire ghost episode was just chef’s kiss, but also I think it was the last truly happy episode before things will have to get worse to be fixed for real. I loved, loved, loved the whole darts thing at The Crown and Anchor. God Rupert is such a bastard but things get so interesting when he’s on screen! Roy and Keeley are everything I wanted and I’m living for them. Also I really like how masculinity is explored through Ted and Roy and them being almost foils to each other in this theme. Roy is on first glance everything we associate with masculinity, and especially it’s negative parts - he is angry, silent, intimidating. And Ted is seemingly not very traditionally masculine. He is cheerful, easy-going, he seems in touch with his emotions, dresses plainly, likes puns and musicals, he is a carer. But looking at their actions, I think Roy’s masculinity is actually very healthy, while Ted’s pretty fragile. Roy does yoga and gossips with a bunch of old ladies and isn’t ashamed of it, he quite readily admits when he’s wrong, is a great role model and a carer for his niece, he is honest about his emotions. And Ted bottles everything up until he explodes, hurting either himself or others, he blames himself for a failure of his marriage and seems to tie a lot of his self worth to being a good husband and father. He cheerfully demands vulnerability from other people, but refuses to open up (even Beard, who as far as we know is his best friend, doesn’t appear to know much about Ted, or at least all of their conversations that aren’t work related tend to revolve around Beard’s personal life, not Ted’s), and he is ready to offer support to his friends but hides and feels ashamed when he needs it himself. Outwardly Ted presents positive, accepting and open masculinity, but I think he might have a case of… Uh, internalised misogyny.

Welp, this has turned out into a rant, time for a second seasons I’m so scared let’s go, woooo!

(And sorry everyone who likes Ted/Rebecca, I can’t see it, they’re perfect besties and if they try to force a romance I don’t think I’m going to like it. They are kinda foreshadowing it and I’m like, pls no, give me a healthy, close male-female friendship, please don’t take it away from me please for the love of god.)

[thoughtsdying]

The procces of realising you’re aroace: a tale by me version 2

Realising you’re aroace is suddenly comprehending why your few friends (with one exception) have always turned out to be in the queer community at the end. Like. That fenomenum of “queer radar only you don’t realise it’s there and you end up gravitating together anyway?” yup- It happens too. Only most of the time you think you’re an allied cis-het weirdo who cares too much about something that doesn’t have anything to do with you, and who cares if you feel weird when other people assume you’re hetero (or that you have a orientation at all), you sure aren’t attracked to your same gender either. Nor are any kind of trans.

And then you discover asexuality in your late teens and it feels weirdly near you, but you think you’re trying to make it so you’re special, so you dismiss any ace feels as you being a late bloomer, and only take care of including it in discussions about queer issues, and then you feel strangely hurt when a professor dismisses it as “some self descriptor weird lonely japanese men in their 40′s created who only care for 2D” which. You don’t have to tell me all the problems in that sentence. Believe me, I know. And you can’t come with arguments except well if people feel like using it, then we should respect it, bc you don’t have the words to explain asexuality except that internet in english told you it was a thing and you still don’t know except in a nebulous way what even is aromanticism, so you didn’t bring that up in the discussion at all.

And a pair of years after that you start using demisexual bc it feels less scary and very reasonable except you’ve never felt attracted to anyone, how do you even tell it? And relationships scare you, and you still don’t have any idea of what is aromanticism except it scares you and you don’t want to contemplate a life being aro. You love romances after all

(except when you have to look the other way in any kind of profound kiss, bc it’s private people, which makes you feel wiedly homophobic when you’re watching a lgbtq+ media or your best friend with her girlfriend even if it’s the same with hetero, except then it’s just that sex is weird in film and kisses with tongue are still private people!)

and obviously you still don’t want to have sex with a girl (Except perhaps those emotional dreams of touching with a friend that aren’t sex but almlost and are very comfortable anyways it could be nice you’re sure but nice isn’t desire is it?) so even although guys make you nervous and any thought of doing anything romantic-sexual with one is a “yikes” you suppose you find some really pretty in a different way you do with woman and that must be ~attraction~.

And a friend tells you that a guy tried to sound her to see if he could date you and she told him you were ace and uninterested in any kind of relationship, and you go “why?” confused and a bit elated bc holy shit what a relief you won’t have to confront him, but also a bit of panic (that’s how i come across? it isn’t my imagination, im so obvious oh no) and she tells you, “well you are almost one and you don’t have any intention of dating anybody right now so i thought it best to cut any feels on his part right now”. And it gives you things to think about.

And another two years pass except this time you’ve started to educate yourself on aromanticism bc too many relatable posts on tumblr looking into the ace tag made you “holy shit yeah this makes more sense than just asexuality” but also you keep loving romance stories except now you’ve started to recognize you’re starved of friendship in all the ambits of your live and you’re also a young adult who still doesn’t want a relationship, what do i do? And maybe you’re not demi, you’re ace and you can think sex sounds a nice activity to do with intimate friends (aro aro aro) but not something you’re into, and you’re still ace, you’re not attracted to anybody not really. What a relief. (you still can’t try on the aro umbrella)

And you question yourself bc a fantastic guy has become your friend, and your minds vibe inmensely well, and you talk during quearentine, but he gives you some weird vibes sometimes, and makes you gifts which you ignore bc holy shit a best friend! And he has money and he’s lonely! I would also give gifts to my besties if I had money! And then he confesses to you on wassap, and you realise he has put you on a pedestal and has cofessed but already said himself he doesn’t want a relationship with you bc he would corrupt you or something and anyway, he’s not really in love with you he’s using you as a mental crutch to try to not be depressed, he knows that noe but he hates psycologists. Also, can i have some time apart from you?

So you tell him you feel flattered but that you see him as only a friend, and please can you not put yourself so below me? Search professional help. I’ll stay away as long as you need.

And you start feeling uneasy, but you think it’s only that he’s a weirdo and really you’ve dodged a bullet of course you wouldn’t want to go out with him, he’s not really the kind of pretty you like. Except if you’re ace what does it matter? Isn’t it that you feel pretty repulsed by trying a romantic relationship? Or are you just justifying your own aloofness and personality problems that make impossibly difficult to try a romance anyway. People don’t control who they feel romantic feels for anyway.

Except in the following months when you’ve finally reaturned to be friends you’re so relieved to not have that shadow above you and really wouldn’t it be amazing if everybody knew you didn’t want anything to do with them romantically? To be free to be friends and hug them, and walk arm in arm or go to lunch and cinema and still be just friends? To plan your future in a line along with those friends but not be really a committement as much as you just want to enjoy talking face to face with them for a bit longer.

So you go back to read about aromanticism and maybe you cry a little but mostly you’re pretty happy and scared about it. And you tell that friend, bc he’s your bestie right now and you feel him being bi and also being interested in you in the past would make him more likely to react well. It’s not personal it’s just the way I am. And then you start crying in the middle of a starbucks for 15 min. and you didn’t now you feel so much so intensely about being aroace, and how it had impacted you without knowing and how much you hate those expectations. And he hugs you and tells you “nobody has the right to tell you how to live. if you feel like you’re never gonna be in a relationship that’s your business and you’ll be happy anyway” and you cry harder. And then you both have a sincere conversation about sex as he has experimented it and how you feel it pretty strange and weird, but maybe you’d like to try it sometime. Just not a time near now. And if it’s never that’s pretty okey with you too.

So you go home feeling a bit embarrased but also pretty elated except a week later there’s another wassap message from him, saying he feels he still loves you, and that he understands intelectually your nearness with him is friendly but still feels romantic and it confuses me and it pains me and i would prefer to not be your friend anymore, sorry, men are shit and me the worst of them.

“Ok” I write back. I’m furious and hurt and I don’t want to see his liar face anymore. So fuck you, I think. “Thanks for telling me” And I block his number and I don’t talk to him when we met with out mutual friends, and when it’s necessary I talk as if he were a stranger. Kindly but impersonal. Isn’t that what you wanted? To lost a friend? So you’ve lost me forever.

And it became clear to me that I don’t think I’ll ever understand the stupidity of not wanting to see someone just because their lives don’t revolve around you the way you like, even though you’re friends and you can talk to them about anything at all anyway, and be there for help with the shitty parts of life. There are things I’ll never felt or do for another. 

And I’m ok with that.

[festivegrant]

You said 4A finale fell flat and I agree but I’m just curious in which ways did it fall flat for you? To me, I guess I was expecting some type of cliffhanger. Didn’t have to be scary or intense, I just expected something. And yeah that could have been Maddie going into labor. And I know people can debate until the end of time about Eddie and Ana but personally I have no problem with them like overall, if you stand back and look at the big picture. Eddie is trying to move on and Ana seems sweet and smart and nice but when you step closer and look at it, Eddie to me seemed so out of character in that episode. He was doing things that he wouldn’t normally do. Like, ok you went on maybe 2 or 3 dates with her and even after your son throws a fit you still think it’s ok to introduce her to him that soon? And also in the middle of a pandemic?? When his son is high risk and his son hasn’t even seen his friends or other family (I’m assuming). It just seems out of character. And before anyone comes for me, I’m fine with Eddie moving on and getting into a relationship. He could literally date anyone and I wouldn’t care as long as he’s happy. And maybe that’s the point of all of this- to show he’s trying to move on but Ana isn’t the one. Maybe she is and I’m a clown but I don’t personally see it. She’s lovely but I don’t see it. Buck and Taylor was interesting though. I’m all for them being friends because both of them seemed to have matured

glad you asked! my response ended up longer than i’d anticipated so i’ll put it under the cut:

i FOR SURE expected some sort of cliffhanger. i mean, tbh overall the episode didn’t really stick in my head that much? the most cliffhanger-y thing we got was hen and karen not being able to adopt nia (heart-wrenching but good narrative choice) although i would have liked for them to really dig it in and indulge us in more wilson family moments before ripping it from our grasp. i love to suffer <3 and i just think that if we had had a scene where the madney baby is born that would have been such a bittersweet contrast?? like actually watching it would have destroyed me and i probably wouldn’t have liked it bc it would have made me sad but since im playing god on this website it WOULD have been fantastic narratively and i WILL pretend i wouldve liked it.

buck and taylor was cute (and I LOVE their banter), but i kind of feel like the sudden friendliness came out of nowhere?? @benjji2795 made a post about this a little bit; taylor never apologized for what she did to bobby, so it doesn’t totally make sense for buck to be so nice to her?? however i love taylor and im glad she’s on the show. one of two things should’ve happened: she apologizes to bobby and wham bam now her and buck are besties with a fun dynamic (note FRIENDS, not romantic partners, because they have different priorities and are canonically not romantically compatible!! and thats okay!!) OR her reoccurrence on the show is established as some sort of antagonistic ally. i think that would be so fun.

okay okay i have my own thoughts on eddie and ana and that whole situation. let me split this up to make it legible:

on eddie being out of character:

something was definitely wrong this episode. him introducing ana to chris does not sit right (for ALL the reasons you mentioned, which I completely agree with). As far as i’m concerned, there are two possible reasons:

eddie was just plain ooc and it was due to bad writing. it makes me disappointed, but i think this is the one that’s most likely.

eddie was in character, but he was jsut the worst side of his character. someone made a post about it that i found pretty interesting. idk if i completely agree with it bc to say that eddie introduced ana to chris so she could fill what eddie thinks is an empty space in their lives sort of undermines the whole talk he had with bobby the scene prior. 

HOWEVER this interpretation also gives ana the opening to have narrative agency and set boundaries for herself and tell eddie she likes him but she didn’t sign up to be a mom. but i don’t think the writers (or r*an, because he sucks and is also not that great of an actor) are thinking that deeply about his character (but maybe they are. who knows).

on ana:

i’ve said this before and ill say it again. the way she’s set up to be both disliked by the audience (because she’s so blad) and disposable to the narrative (because she’s so bland!!) makes me upset. she literally doesn’t deserve that and it’s disturbing to watch (both onscreen and in fandom reactions). i don’t know what else to say except i hope she either gets a well-written, significant story arc or she leaves the show soon. i don’t want to see her being a romantic accessory anymore. 

also i think she’s cute but that’s just gabrielle walsh kjdsfl

on eddie and ana together:

okay i agree that a relationship is necessary for eddie to be able to move on. like i get that. i agree. it’s part of his growth. here’s the problem with that though. 

the WAY the show handles eddie moving on is very blatant. it is very streight forward. ‘oh, he’s moving on? new girlfriend!’ the thing is, they kind of forgot to give said girlfriend a personality (see above). and BECAUSE OF THAT (or, at least, it’s a contributing factor) they have no chemistry and are terrible to watch onscreen. 

i tried to like them. i really did. i tried to frame it as ‘hey, theyre jsut two people who have crushes on each other and we can watch them flirt and yadda yadda and itll be cute, right?’ ive made posts about their dynamic together and trying to find an angle to make it fun. but i cant. i literally cant do this anymore. i actually cringed at nearly every scene they had together. it was unpleasant and boring and i would love it if it were over soon. if the creators are seeking to both produce a good/entertaining and moving show AND keep eddie and ana together, i’m curious to see how they do it because i truly have got nothing for them. 

anyways. In conclusion, I’m only emotionally investing myself in the wilson family, the grant-nash family, the buckley-han family, and fanfiction-based buddie :) <3