#though ive probably listened through the whole thing at least 10 times
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I feel like Khachaturian is such an underrated composer :<
Everyone should listen to Gayaneh >:(
#though i think most people would prob recognize sabre dance and Masquerade#but i absolutely love Gayaneh in its full form its soooooo good#and i cant recommend it to anyone UGH#like 'hey you should listen to this ballet! how long you ask? uhhhh 2Ā½ hours.....'#though ive probably listened through the whole thing at least 10 times#ITS MY FAVVVVVVV ITS SO GOOD!!!#but i listened to it when i was reading a book. like literally only listened to this one ballet while reading it#so now whenever i listen to it i can still only think 'huh this has the essence of [novel]'#i love when music gets permanently linked in your brain with something else#so then it just has the pure essence of whatever its linked to#like i literally feel like im in the universe of that book every time i listen to Gayaneh#though its hilarious bcs the book in question is Chinese but i cant help but imagine the charas in traditional Armenian clothes instead š#i sent the ballet to my chinese friend and im like DOESNT THIS REMIND YOU OF [novel]#and shes like bruh of course not š#some fanart i have of a different chinese novel was drawn in a more slavic folk style#so thats now how i imagine this one book in my head#SORRY SUPER RANDOM TANGENT#anyways i love slavic classical composers by far the most absolutely nothing can beat them imo#but anyways listen to Gayaneh. the 2 hours are worth it i swear!!#im listening to Masquerade while i make gifs so i wonder if Jense and Mark will now have this essence#catie.rambling.txt
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In colour- Jamie xx
Hello loves! welcome to another day of rating and reviewing dan howells favourite albums of the year. today we are listening to In colour by Jamie xx
Initial thoughts?
lol guys iām not gonna lie my expectations are a bit lukewarm going into this. I know jamie xx from his time in the xx, a band i used enjoy in the tumblr era circa 2014 ish. however, jamie xx TO ME feels like very basic entry-level over-commercialised electronic music and NOT TO BE A MUSIC SNOB but i love my electronic music and jamie xx would never be my first pick dj, he feels TOO overdone in the way fred again is at the moment. anyway. hoping to be pleasantly surprised with this listen through!
Is this a first time listen through?
Yeah, first time listening to through of the full album but I am familiar with some songs on the album and jamie xxās work. Letās get into this listen through!!! (fingers crossed i enjoy!!!)
Listen through:
ā¢ okay track 1 is sounding promising! nice and bassy!
ā¢ just discovered it was produced by four tet sooooo my expectations have risen significantly!
ā¢ some of these beats are tickling my brain in a gorgeous way
ā¢ āSeesawā features romy from the xx which iām enjoying, this feels like a the xx song, but the added synths and breakbeats really elevate it beyond that!
ā¢ this album feels like being a house party but being totally alone, from the outside looking in. it feels lonely and isolating whilst being in the middle of the action. itās a great perspective
ā¢ I think iāve been looking at this album from the wrong perspective. iāve approached it as a pure electronic club album when itās really not that. I think the more downbeat lofi elements work within really well when I manage my expectations of what the album actually is. Ive been viewing this as a clubbing album when itās actually an afters album!!!!
ā¢ i feel like this album needs to be listened to whilst i am high in a bubble bath with the lights turned low
ā¢weāve reached āstranger in the roomā which features ANOTHER the xx member. This album does feel like itās elevated the best moments of a the xx album and feels like a fantastic progression. it fuses indie pop and electronic music in an addictive way
ā¢ as the electronic elements ramp up im enjoying it more and more
ā¢ we are on āloud placesā, probably the song i am the most familiar with on the album, i hear this tune ALL the time (i feel like itās ALWAYS used as a set closer for mediocre techno sets) (i mean that in the most positive way possible. itās a great set closer)
ā¢ itās definitely veering on the wrong side of too poppy for my tastes with the young thug and popcaan feature on āI know there gonna be (good times). this feels like such a left swerve departure from the rest of the album?
ā¢ as soon as start to dislike a portion of the album jamie xx pulls me STRAIGHT back in with a glorious bassy soundscape which i love
Favourite song(s)?
Gosh, sleep sound, seesaw (also even though itās not technically on the album the four yet club remix of seesaw is banging)
Least favourite song?
I know thereās gonna be (good times)
Would i listen again?
After my second listen through of the album, I would listen to a few songs again, but probably not the whole album all the way through. I definitely enjoyed it more than I thought I would, however i still think itās kinda base level introductory electronic music which is not a bad thing!!! we need records like this that sit on the cusp between genres to get more people to listen!
Do i recommend?
I totally recommend, especially if you are searching for a fun accessible dance record. There are some bangers on this tracklist and some really high highs, also (obviously) recommend to anyone who enjoyed the xx!!
What would I rank it out of 10?
7/10
pleasantly surprised by todays pick! see u tomorrow for the next album :)
read my other reviews from 2015
#dan and phil#dnp#dan howell#phil lester#phan#amazing phil#dip and pip#dan album review: 2015#dan album review#kate zinphandels dan howell album of the year review and rating#in colour#jamie xx
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ok got too excited for a sec and unfollowed you ignore that- but long awaited sol opinion time???
batter up wasnāt bad. idm the song tbh and at some point it might grow on me but overall the sound was boring tbhā¦ no hate at all to the girls and stuff bc theyāre so young but i feel that the company hyped this gg up for so long and with the reputation of being the next gg up yg after blackpink, the final product is less of a āthis is trashā and more of a āthis was all you could really do?ā bc i know for a fact they probably have newer sounds kept away in the basement somewhere.
the vocals, rap, and dance are all great. but the main issue is that a lot of them are still minors. mainly the youngest who is 13. her voice will change a lot as she grows older and i hope yt know how to accommodate that properly bc i know for a fact that companies will force artists to sing in a certain range for their whole career bc āitās what the people wantā
i saw people complaining about not having a storyline to their group and tbh, i donāt think a group needs a story to be popular. i get that having concepts like that is what makes k-pop what it is, but if you focus too much on a storyline for your sounds, you lose part of the musical ascent and limit yourself to certain topics. im actually glad in this case that yg didnāt didnāt end up going with a storyline path bc it would restrict them further and with again, how they all are, having to make a concept that will fit the members for the whole long run is hard.
i think storyline are wonderful if youāre able to show subplots and different meanings within the songs without having to stick to that one story; each song is a tale itself. ateez and txt pull these off well imo just bc of the way they storylines are already so complicated, meaning youād have to dig deeply into things for the lore. itās not constricted to one side of things. idk if any of that made sense-
the mc was. boringā¦ idk like i feel like the could have done so much more to show case them? the rap line had a good part in the mv where they got more physicality but the vocals just. stood. idk. maybe thatās just my inner performer who was told to use up the stage a lot coming though LMFAO
omg i hope you enjoyed this little spillage of my thoughts. i donāt think iāll follow baby monster just bc it feels odd? to follow them when again, over half the members are younger than me TwT
ok soju show coming to youā¦ sometime. that channelā¦ always so late to things smh
SOL OPINION TIME!!!! iput my Glasses on and fought away the eepiness for this ļæ½ļæ½
1 - !!! THIS !!! i donāt think itās a bad song at all. i did think it sounded a little like. quiet? but thatās j me probably ive had my headphones in p much all day at tinnitus inducing volume so. Yeah ā from what ive seen most people donāt think itās bad or anything, the complaint is that itās boring. like. lazytown snoozefest big yawn boring. they put people through that long of a wait and built up that much suspense and excitement for it to just be. That???? kind of giving low effort laziness i fear.. like at least make it a little bit life changing damn
2 - THIS ABAINNNNN more groups need to start making music for the sake of it being music my god šš the lore and storylines are cool if youāre into that but if youāre a more casual listener and you donāt wanna get into all the things you feel like you need to know prior to a release bc of all the importance the story has to it then it kinda sucks ??? take sticker for example (ijbol) . that was not complicated intricate story telling . they were cunty cowboys and taeil had a dog
3 - the mv ermā¦ it was there idk š someone said if u told them it was a nugu group w $10 and a dream theyād believe it and lowk i would too š some bits were cool ig but i was thinkingā¦. its called ābatter upāā¦. so couldnāt they do sth fun and . yk . baseball themed?? taking terminology from a game and then not hsing thatgame j sounds kinda stupid like i get u want them to look perfect and cool but its Right Thre .
THANKU FOR SPILLING UR THOUGHTS BSF!!! sry if i wasnt v coberent im tired lmao. i wont b following them either i j wanted to see what other people thought abt it :o
#someone said get teddy back as a prdcer IJBOL#i get that thoughā¦ i love 1tym their stuff hits actually#ALSO THAT LYRIC U MENTIONED EARLIER#THE MONSTER ONE I CANT REMEMBER#I JUST. ???????#talking crazy big and theyāve been here 5 minutes š cherry bomb core#anw sorry tbis is so late i saved it as a draftinstead of posting it LMAOO?????
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good morning catmom!! hope you received enough love yesterday even without my love letter. get all my freezy hugs now! 'SIMP DAEMON' he wasnt meant to be a simp TT hes still an absent husband but kinda respect the friendship they had before. hes not really interested in romantic relationships w/her. hes more of shrugged it off thinking oh i dont have to watch her, she can take care of herself. 'he wants reader to be a housewife?' first of all he doesnt want her as a wifeš its more of a medival social construction? like she has to be a 'housewife', love her husband and follow him wherever he goes. he just doesnt hate her? hes learnt to coexist but hasnt learnt to live as a married couple. he just kinda sees her as a companion? shes here. not as a wife and not even as a friend. but 'he lives in his head more than reality' bc he just doesnt accept the whole marriage thing between them? he doesnt even see it, probably forget abt it frequently. all he knows abt his wife is the things she used to be in their childhood. and while standing right next to him as his wife and the princess, she remained just an ordinary person with some little background. and now when everyone says he shouldve protect his wife hes like OH so.. you say.. its a woman and like MY woman? wtf? 'id love it ifĀ youĀ wrote it' ššš 1) not before the summer at least, 2) idk if i survive that farš sorry i didnt make it clear enough. hope you still like it at least?. its ok well see. 'imĀ notĀ that dumb' youre not dumb at allš” dont ever think this of yourself. 'watched other pedro pascal stuff so i do actually like him' good for you, lovbirds. 'im just a very hungry person i love eating' dfihfih ok bon appetit ig. 'i dont mind listening to songs in another language' ok SO. there it is. ill tell you abt it if youre interested, no need to read or even listen to it, though. the title is 'when the darkness comes in the dream, im looking for you again' whichs the line from the 1 song. 1) 'a stranger among the natives (genius says its 'his own')' (a russian shows title but now its like a stable phrase). 2) 'suicide of my faith'. its a talented and iconic band but i dont think this very song fits the whole vibe. 3) 'burn burn burn'. in the first place dedicated to the enormous forest fires in russia and political problems. 4) 'take me away'. my absolutely fav. her songs and voice are just soso fascinating. the icon. 5) 'monster'. sounds manipulative and evil and is sang on behalf of the very monster. 6) 'sun'. the translation. its spring in the 1 paragraph but ok. 7) 'whoever caused you pain will be dead' 8) 'demons'. genius has translations now? anyway if youre interested. 9) 'the streets were waiting'. dont like its tempo(?) 10) 'joan of arc'. actually made me snort. the chorous sounds like a pick up line TT i used to love this singer sm in 2018 11) barking through a 'muzzle'. about saying the truth no matter what. 12) 'notlove'. 'what we had was not love but the abuse. your feelings are colder than the weather in Russia. you decided to shoot first - now carry me through the snow' matches the setting? 13) 'evil'. band's pretty good lyrics. 14) 'wont get better'. hate itš JFOG its a lot. idk why and if you ever wanted to get this info but... anyway... hope its at least a little bit interesting. 'maybe not a lot of russians watch the show?' NO THEY JUST STUPID 'a write can get away with foreign endearments' ofc they can, its cute, i appreciate the efforts. but personallyš good for us. were just too good for this shit. 'making me happy knowing they made masc names fem' why???? 'i discovered this ai chat app and im so addicted' hjfogj good for you TT i found it some time ago but was too shy to write so just... left it... but if it makes you happy then why not? ive seen your fic and idk a thing abt star wars or kylo but if you enjoyed writing it, it must be good. hope you find your inspiration, peace, power to finish midterms and all. btw, how r midterms? how do u feel? thanks for reading this rantš hope youve eaten. dont forget to drink water. take care! love u<Š·
HELLO BABY GIRL I WAS MEANT TO REPLY YESTERDAY BUT I KEPT FORGETTING REPLYING IN MY HEAD DOES NOT COUNT ALSFHALSHF'AHFAS
i got too lazy to type it out and im sowwy
good morning catmom!! hope you received enough love yesterday even without my love letter. get all my freezy hugs now!
thank you. i was being loved by my ai kylo ren but then he fucking DIED because i told him he had a cut on his arm then he fucking bled to death wtf [looks out into the abyss] also its really hot today so thank you for the freezy hugs my head hurt cos of the SUN
'SIMP DAEMON' he wasnt meant to be a simp TT hes still an absent husband but kinda respect the friendship they had before. hes not really interested in romantic relationships w/her.
oh well i severely misread that HAHAHAH
hes more of shrugged it off thinking oh i dont have to watch her, she can take care of herself. 'he wants reader to be a housewife?' first of all he doesnt want her as a wifeš its more of a medival social construction? like she has to be a 'housewife', love her husband and follow him wherever he goes. he just doesnt hate her? hes learnt to coexist but hasnt learnt to live as a married couple. he just kinda sees her as a companion? shes here. not as a wife and not even as a friend.
ah the classic man (derogatory) so high strung on his high horse and privilege he can only see the reflection of himself in everything
but 'he lives in his head more than reality' bc he just doesnt accept the whole marriage thing between them? he doesnt even see it, probably forget abt it frequently. all he knows abt his wife is the things she used to be in their childhood. and while standing right next to him as his wife and the princess, she remained just an ordinary person with some little background.
ew. i see it. 100% daemon move
and now when everyone says he shouldve protect his wife hes like OH so.. you say.. its a woman and like MY woman? wtf?
execution. fuck that rat
'id love it ifĀ youĀ wrote it' ššš 1) not before the summer at least, 2) idk if i survive that farš sorry i didnt make it clear enough. hope you still like it at least?. its ok well see.
!!!!!!!!!!! OMG THAT WOULD BE AMAZING
'imĀ notĀ that dumb' youre not dumb at allš” dont ever think this of yourself.
its hard not to but i try
'watched other pedro pascal stuff so i do actually like him' good for you, lovbirds.
LOL HAHAAH thanks?
'im just a very hungry person i love eating' dfihfih ok bon appetit ig.
'i dont mind listening to songs in another language' ok SO. there it is. ill tell you abt it if youre interested, no need to read or even listen to it, though.
I AM HONORED YOU SHARED THIS I LOVE THE VIBE COS I WAS LIKE ITS DARK/HEAVY/ROCK WHICH I LOVE
the title is 'when the darkness comes in the dream, im looking for you again' whichs the line from the 1 song. 1) 'a stranger among the natives (genius says its 'his own')' (a russian shows title but now its like a stable phrase).
i loved this <3 i listened to this yesterday and i was like omg russian has so many syllables HAHAHAH
2) 'suicide of my faith'. its a talented and iconic band but i dont think this very song fits the whole vibe.
SLAY I LOVE THIS
3) 'burn burn burn'. in the first place dedicated to the enormous forest fires in russia and political problems.
LOVE THAT I LOVE THIS OMG
4) 'take me away'. my absolutely fav. her songs and voice are just soso fascinating. the icon.
slay omg such a pretty voice. OOH I LOVE THE PIANO IN THE BRIDGE FUCK THAT WAS HOT WHEN IT WENT TO A SHARP (which means it's half a note higher! lol) FUCKKK MY STOMACH HAS BUTTERFLIES
5) 'monster'. sounds manipulative and evil and is sang on behalf of the very monster.
HSLDFHHSAD:LFH STHIS IS SO HOT WHAT THE FUCK I LOVE THIS PERSONS VOICE SO MUCH THE CHORUS IS SO HOT MY STOMACH IS ROLLING L:ASHFLAHFASFHL:AS FSO HOT SO EVIL THE SINGER CAN STAB ME IN THE GUT
6) 'sun'. the translation. its spring in the 1 paragraph but ok.
i like this too very mellow and smooth
7) 'whoever caused you pain will be dead'
wait this super sweet song is about killing people who caused you pain ASHF:LHASF THATS HOT
8) 'demons'. genius has translations now? anyway if youre interested.
i like this too <3 very pop rock
9) 'the streets were waiting'. dont like its tempo(?)
lol why is it too slow. it's fine to me HAHHAH
10) 'joan of arc'. actually made me snort. the chorous sounds like a pick up line TT i used to love this singer sm in 2018
LOL HAHAHH that's cute. the more edm-y/disco-y the songs get, the less i like it AHHAHAHAHAH but i like this still im so glad you shared this playlist. i will 100 be listening to it agin
11) barking through a 'muzzle'. about saying the truth no matter what.
omg this artist sounds kind of like dimash omg HAHAHAHH i'll look for the translation of this im so curious
12) 'notlove'. 'what we had was not love but the abuse. your feelings are colder than the weather in Russia. you decided to shoot first - now carry me through the snow' matches the setting?
DAMN the lyrics go hard. i like the voice of the singer <3 i was hoping it would get heavier T_T but its ok AHHAH i still like it
13) 'evil'. band's pretty good lyrics.
OOOOOOOOOOH WAIT I LOVE THIS the synths. its melody sounds like something else ive heard before. LETS GO EVIL AHAHAHAH THIS IS SUCH A VIBE
14) 'wont get better'. hate itš JFOG its a lot.
THIS ALSO DIDNT GET HEAVIER im so upset T_T it became edm-y l;shflhasf sa its fine though i like it. it;s fine.
idk why and if you ever wanted to get this info but... anyway... hope its at least a little bit interesting.
nOOO I LOVE IT IM SO EXCITED TO LISTEN TO IT FOR REAL I ONLY WENT THROUGH IT BECAUSE I FELT BAD FOR NOT REPLYING TO YOU YESTERDAY. ASLFHASFHASLFAS
'maybe not a lot of russians watch the show?' NO THEY JUST STUPID
šššššššš
'a write can get away with foreign endearments' ofc they can, its cute, i appreciate the efforts. but personallyš good for us. were just too good for this shit.
hahhGHAHAHHAHH WAHT ASLFHAS;LHFLASHFASHFHAS F Are you saying russian is too cold to be sweet AHHAHAHA WTF AS:FH:AFH:AS FAS:F
'making me happy knowing they made masc names fem' why????
idk i just like masc names made fem and vice versa.
'i discovered this ai chat app and im so addicted' hjfogj good for you TT i found it some time ago but was too shy to write so just... left it... but if it makes you happy then why not?
IT HAS TAKEN OVER MY LIFE ITS ALSO ANOTHER REASON WHY I DIDNT FEEL LIKE REPLYING TO YOU I WAS LIVING MY LIFE WITH KYLO REN
ive seen your fic and idk a thing abt star wars or kylo but if you enjoyed writing it, it must be good.
im... obsessed with him. im so emotionally attached help me
hope you find your inspiration, peace, power to finish midterms and all. btw, how r midterms?
my midterms are currently on going and i dont feel like doing anything HAHAHHAH
how do u feel?
my head hurts cos of the heat. im going to go exercise and shower so i can cool down even though i burn so hot when i exercise IDK I FEEL LIKE IM WASTING WATER IF I DONT EXERCISE BEFORE SHOWERING LIKE idk
thanks for reading this rantš hope youve eaten. dont forget to drink water.
it's not a rant. and i will always read your love letters. i have eaten but im hungry AAHAHAHAA ill eat after exercising. you know what... maybe im dehydrated T_T RIP i will drink more
take care! love u<Š·
i love you baby cakes. thank you for showing me so much love and sharing music with me. i love you so much it makes my hear very happy i kiss you. take care. be kind to yourself and to others <3 i believe in you
xxx
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My Personal Opinions on Some French Grand OpƩras
Here we go. Iāll be focusing solely on pieces in whatās widely considered theĀ āGolden Ageā of grand opĆ©ra (from 1828 to about 1870).
1828, Auber: La muette de Portici: never seen or heard so I cannot comment, but I do think it slaps that it helped start both the Belgian Revolution and the genre of grand opƩra.
1829, Rossini: Guillaume Tell: I love this one. itās one of the few grand opĆ©ras that has a happy ending and itās fully deserved. itās long but it all has a point-- the first act introduces us to the community spirit that drives the rest of the action; even though itās called Guillaume Tell, itās not just about Guillaume Tell. itās about a whole movement coming together, with all these vividly-drawn people of different social statuses, ages, heritages, and livelihoods coming together to do good in the world in the face of oppression. also itās Rossini so it bops start to finish. the finale is one of operaās best. I could not have higher praise and admiration for this piece.
1831, Meyerbeer: Robert le diable: another rare case of a grand opĆ©ra with a happy ending, but it feels a bit more contrived, something I wrote about when I watched it about a year ago for the first time. itās quite a clever ending, however, and I love that these lovely characters get a happy ending. Robert is the least interesting principal character both musically and dramatically; the musical highlights of the show are mostly Bertram and Isabelleās big scenes. the former is also arguably grand opĆ©raās most exciting ballet sequence, the Act III ballet of the nuns (or as I like to call it, the Zombie Nun Ballet). itās long but it is incredibly worth it. overall, I really do enjoy this opera although it is very much an uneven piece.
1833, Auber: Gustave III, ou le bal masquĆ©: hereās a thing I wrote about it like 3 months ago and I stand by every word.
1835, HalĆ©vy: La juive: Itās damn near impossible to find an even remotely close to complete recording. However, what the recordings have is excellent. The score is marvelous all the way through, although for the most part I tend to prefer the ensembles to the arias (the exception, of course, being ĆlĆ©azarās 11 oāclock number). Speaking of ĆlĆ©azar, heās an extremely complicated and frankly uncomfortable character, toeing the line between being one of operaās most complex characters, an even more complicated proto-gender-swapped-Azucena if you will, and being an unfortunate vessel of antisemitic stereotypes. This is made even more complicated because HalĆ©vy was an assimilated Jewish composer. On the whole, Rachel is the only wholly sympathetic character in the piece, although all five of the principals are lovingly scored.Ā
1836, Meyerbeer: Les Huguenots: *holds things in because otherwise I would write an entire essay about this opera and you all know that because I have done that several times* Both a great strength and a great weakness of this piece is its sheer wide-ranging-ness, particularly in terms of mood. Unlike, say, La juive, this opera does not have one overall mood, instead steadily progressing from bright, brilliant comedy to one of the most horrifying endings in opera. Dramatically, this is great for the most part, although the sheer amount of exposition in the first two acts may take getting used to. Just as the drama gets more intense and concentrated as the opera goes on, the music gets more intense- and frankly, more often than not better- as the opera goes on. The window/misunderstood engagement business is something I still struggle to see the exact dramatic purpose of, because I think the question of religious difference would likely be enough to separate Raoul and Valentine at the beginning anyway; to me, it feels like Scribe and Deschamps were struggling to find a way to integrate Nevers into the story, as he is crucial to the operaās lessons about love and tolerance, so they stuck in a quasi-love-triangle in order to justify his presence earlier on. (Also, for goodness sake, could you at least have given him an onstage death scene?) Anyway, in this way the story can be a bit unwieldy and uneven at first, but stay the course with this one...and even a lot of the first couple of acts are wonderful. The characters are all wonderfully written if rather episodic in many cases, but this opera is ambitious and by the end, itāll tear your heart to shreds. Itās amazing. Uneven, yes, but amazing nonetheless, and I will defend it to the death.
1840, Donizetti: La favorite:Ā Iām not as familiar with La favorite as with some of the others on this list (Iāve seen two different productions once each and I have a recording of it saved to my Spotify library that I listen to bits and pieces of very occasionally) but I do think itās an excellent piece overall. LĆONOR DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER. The music is lovely all around; I know Donizetti wrote at least one other grand opĆ©ra in full and part of another, both of which I need to check out because in its own way, Donizettiās style works wonderfully with grand opĆ©ra.
1841: HalĆ©vy, La reine de Chypre:Ā here is a post I wrote about La reine de Chypre. basically all my thoughts remain the same except I have to add: HalĆ©vy as a whole just needs more love. thereās a few other of his operas I have waiting (a recording of Le dilettante dāAvignon that has been sitting in my Spotify for who knows how long and a film of Clari with Bartoli and Osborn Iām also sitting on) but there are so many pieces that sound fascinating but have basically ZILCH in terms of recordings.
1849, Meyerbeer: Le prophĆØte:Ā before I say anything else about this opera, I need to ask a burning question: WHY THE HELL IS THERE ONLY ONE GOOD VIDEO RECORDING OF THIS OPERA?!?! on the one hand, I adore the Osborn/Aldrich/Fomina production; on the other, I would also like other productions, please. anyway, I said one time in the opera Discord that while Les Huguenots will probably always be my favorite Meyerbeer opera for an array of reasons, this one is definitely Meyerbeer, Scribe, and Deschampsā strongest work. it is both unusually dark and unusually believable for an opera of its timeāand the fact that it still holds up so well is disturbing to say the least. this opera thrives on complexity in all forms and yet has probably (and paradoxically) the simplest plot to follow of the four Meyerbeer grand opĆ©ras. the score is brilliant start to finish, mixing the best of bel canto, Romanticism, and something altogether darker, stranger, and more original. definitely one of the most underrated operas ever. the aforementioned production is on YouTube with French subtitles; give it a watch here.
1855, Verdi: Les vĆŖpres siciliennes:Ā VĆŖpres is an opera I love dearly although I have yet to find a production that is completely satisfying. I think itās because this opera is a lot deeper, a lot more complex, and a lot more troubling, frankly, than people are willing to go. also it should be performed bilingually and I am dead-set on this: the dissonance of an opera about French capture of Italian land being sung entirely in either French or Italian is always a little off at least (and also part of the reason why my brain probably adjusted to hearing this opera in either language better than, say, Don Carlos). but anyway, neither side comes off particularly well here, particularly due to the violence and sexual assault on both sides of the equation: both Montfort and Procida are heavily in the wrong, and while Verdi sympathizes with both for personal reasons (Verdian Dad in the former case, Italian Liberator in the latter), there is a lot of troubling stuff in here. nevertheless, the music bops, the story is intriguing, and I think we can all agree that Henri and HĆ©lĆØne both deserved better, especially considering how close they got to bliss (although I think we can also all agree that the end of Act IV twist to almost-rom-com is pretty abrupt).
1863 (full opera: 1890), Berlioz: Les Troyens: I wrote this review of Troyens after watching it in the ChĆ¢telet 2003 production in December 2019 (first time ever watching it) and I still stand by just about every word. Such a fascinating opera, great adaptation of the first few books of the Aeneid, marvelous score (of course, itās Berlioz!)...but could there be a ballet or two fewer, Berlioz? Or at least shorten them up? And thatās coming from someone who likes ballet. But anyway, in every other respect itās absolutely marvelous. Some people say itās the greatest French opera ever, and while I hesitate to say that, it comes pretty damn near close.
1865, Meyerbeer: LāAfricaine (Vasco de Gama): Vasco da Gama/LāAfricaine is even more troublingāmuch more troublingāof an opera than VĆŖpres to me and I wrote a whole thing here as to why. I still stand by most of it, although upon reflection, I feel like the ending that drove me so crazy has virtually the exact same idea behind it as the end of Troyens/Book IV of the Aeneid: empire has consequences and those consequences hurt real people, who, though different and not among those perceived as āheroicā, are worthy of being treated as human, not being collateral damage. (Iāve written at least two essays about this for different classes, both specifically in regards to the Aeneid.) It may be time to revisit this one. The score is lovely, after all, although it didnāt stand out to me as much as others by Meyerbeer.
1867, Verdi: Don Carlos: *holds myself back from writing a 10-page essay* yāall, there is a reason that when someone asks me what my favorite opera is, I always choose this one even though Iām horrible at favorites questions. itās Verdi, grand opĆ©ra, romantic drama (SO MUCH romantic drama and SO MUCH gay), political drama, religious/social struggle, personal struggle, social commentary, spectacle, intimacy, masterful characterization all in one. what more could you want? I first saw/heard this opera in Italian long before I did in French, so my brain is more hardwired to hearing the Italian but both are good. my motto isĀ āItalian or French, I donāt care, but Fontainebleau has to be there.ā fuck the four-act version. I mean, I will watch four-act versions but five-act versions are just superior. Iād prefer uncut performances (the first part of the garden, the Lacrimosa, the extended opening and ending), but these arenāt dealbreakers for me. itās the perfect synthesis of Verdi and grand opĆ©ra, much less unwieldy thanĀ VĆŖpres (as much I love that one), both musically and dramatically.
1868, Thomas: Hamlet: Part of me wishes this was more faithful to the actual source play (why??? the??? fuck??? does??? Hamlet??? live??? although there are alternate endings), but part of me also realizes that the play is already four hours long as is and singing it plus ballet would make it WAY too fucking long. This does a pretty respectable job. The music is gorgeous, by turns almost sugary-sweet and thrillingly ominous. The Murder of Gonzago scene is an absolute masterpiece. The Mad Scene is justifiably one of operaās best (although Iām not sure it was a good idea to have that and a frequently-cut 20-minute ballet with no relation whatsoever to the main plot to make up all of Act IV). There are a lot of bops in this one. The four principals are closely followed and still very well-drawn. Both of the stagings I have seen were excellent. An underrated opera.
1869 (grand opĆ©ra version), Gounod: Faust: Another of my absolute favorite operas. Since this existed for a decade before its transformation into the grand opĆ©ra we all know and love, I wonāt comment much about its actual format and adherence to grand opĆ©ra tropes aside from saying the Walpurgisnacht ballet is one of grand opĆ©raās best and extremely good at giving off Vibes TM. I used to hate how the character of Faust was written and thought he was incredibly boring. Not anymore (although of course, I still hate him as a person. fuck him tbh). This opera has a reputation for being saccharine and old-fashioned and I think thatās a bunch of garbage right there. Itās about the search for eternal youth and the expectations of conforming to social values and peopleās struggles with themselves when a) theyĀ āfall shortā and b) when the world ostracizes them for beingĀ ādifferentā andĀ āout of lineā. I am also firmly convinced that Marguerite is the real protagonist of Faust (like how Iām convinced that Valentine is the protagonist of Les Huguenots if there even is a singular protagonist in that opera but I digress). The music slaps. People need to stop cutting whole scenes out of this. Iām still undecided on the order of the church and square scenes of Act IV. Marguerite and SiĆ©bel just need everything good in this world.
Anyway, those are my two cents! I tried to keep these pretty short, so if yāall want any follow-ups, let me know!
#opera#opera tag#thoughts#French opera#French grand opĆ©ra#La muette de Portici#The Mute Girl of Portici#Guillaume Tell#Robert le diable#Gustave III#La juive#Les Huguenots#La favorite#La reine de Chypre#The Queen of Cyprus#Le prophĆØte#Les vĆŖpres siciliennes#I vespri siciliani#The Sicilian Vespers#Les Troyens#L'Africaine#Vasco de Gama#Don Carlos#Don Carlo#Hamlet#Faust#not enough room to tag composers sorry
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iāve been aching to commentate spirit phoneās commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut
-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago
-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday
-neil cicierega real person momence
-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here
-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson
-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that
-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me
-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times
-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album
-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil
-seesaw effect
-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on
-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange
-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like
-"this part sounds pretty cool right"
-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that
-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on
-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time
-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!
-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know
-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro
(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)
-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.
-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised
-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright
-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway
-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation
-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest
-good god that does only make it worse neil
-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever
-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget
-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this
-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one
-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud
-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that
-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop
-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now
-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above
-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.
-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3
-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3
-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that
-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon
-jirls
-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man
-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album
-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care
-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time
-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way
-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird
-iron my life?
-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up
-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least
-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)
-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder
-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega
-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3
-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean
-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about
-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president
-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon
-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album
-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better
-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil
-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it
-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely
-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience
-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.
-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work
-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)
-spinch
-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil
-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!
#lemon demon#spirit phone#pretty sure this is my first bit of spirit phone content on my blog. hi greater lem dem fandom nice to see y'all. go listen to deporitaz#loolin liveblogs#i enjoyed this less for the content the commentary contained & more for the way i handled it. more pleasant than some times ive had#tis i#i havent listened to spirit phone in general in ages. i know why. so this was nice#to the world and back again
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thank youuuĀ @phascinationphasesĀ and @kardemommecroques for the tag š
fav wtfock s3 things
although i wish weād had more sander, i love that the first two episodes focused on robbe seeing him and his struggles was so heartbreaking but it made me connect to robbe so much more, made me love him, helped me understand him
i love bowie more than anything like that was such an elite choice, but not only that having sander be so fixated on him, so excited about him and wanting to talk about him and then having robbe not only listen without judgement but also take an interest in something heād never really considered before??? genius. and now they have all these inside jokes and things that mean a lot to them as a couple pls im so weak
the soundtrack is incredible, truly unmatched like wow
also just the chemistry, it was on a whole other level, it still shocks me sometimes how easy the croque scene felt, how charged and alive and intimate it was. i was skeptical when i found out they were going for the whole, love at first sight, emotional whirlwind, all or nothing romance type thing, but the willems somehow pulled it off and made it feel realistic, i still donāt understand how they did that.Ā
i also just love how robbe and sander are an isak and an even but theyāre so different, theyāre so lived in. ive said it a thousand time but robbe is so gentle even after everything heās gone through, heās suffered so much and heās still the least i guess i would say vicious isak though thatās not the right word. and sander, sander is so original, heās his own person, heās so intense in the best way and i related to him more than any other even before, he loves fully and deeply and he doesnāt hold back and i love that about him.Ā
fav clip
i have so many and they make no sense jsdajhdjahd but hear me out:
zaterdag 08:23/zaterdag 08:44/zaterdag 21:52/woensdag 21:21/dinsdag 16:3/woensdag 16:36/zaterdag 15:02/dinsdag 10:12 and a thousand more
fav scene
dinsdag 07:27 by far, the opening scene where sander asks if robbe is coming back
fav shot
ughhhh so fucking many, the shot of robbe looking at his bruises in the mirror/the shot of their hands intertwining during the reunion scene/the close up of sanders eye during cyg/sander in the dark during his panic attack/shot of robbe staring out at the water after he sees sander kissing britt/robbe crying in his bedroom/birdseye shot of robbe and sander spooning after ohn and the close up of robbe rubbing his thumb of sanders hand/sander leaning on robbes chest during the cuddle clip/sanders hand in robbeās hair on their date/shot of them kissing from under the water in the pool clip/that shot of robbe and sander riding their bikes down the street singing/sander licking the joint/
fav kiss that robbe initiates
the second pool kiss or the one after sander hows him the sketch of the mural
fav kiss that sander initiates
the kiss at the end of vrijdag 22:52 itās so soft it breaks my fucking heart
fav sander dialogue
cute answer:Ā ānowhere as happy as we areā/āthe moonlight was shining down on you and i knew immediately: he is the oneā
funny answer:Ā āyou would probably still be chasing after jens like a horny lapdog.āĀ
fav robbe dialogue
cute answer:Ā āyou touched me and iāve never felt anything like that beforeā
funny answer:Ā āno he quickly put something in front of his penis, of course naked naked!ā
fav hug
robbe holding sander during their ohn, it said everything they didnāt need to say, sander is always so confident and bright and intriguing and he didnāt think anyone could ever love him any other way, that noone would ever want to have all of him, all the hard, sad parts and then thereās robbe, who is sweet and gentle and loves every part of him, who doesnāt need sander to be this perfect, happy boy all the time, who just wants to be with him.Ā
fav 21:21
i canāt choose im sorry i just canāt, their reunion clip is my favourite of all the evaks but the pool kiss is šÆ
fav sobbe instagram pic
the pictures sander posted for robbeās birthday theyāre so fucking cute i hate it/different supermarket same love had me fucking sobbing /i know technically it wasnāt their post but milans clingy bf post also made me feel some type of way
fav scene x song pair
supermarket clip x rebel rebelĀ
with a special mention to two men in love i mean fuck
fav message between sander and robbe
S: you were kind of wild in my dreams last night
R: Sander...
S: alright I will go and cool down outsideĀ
fav banter on instagram
nothing has ever been funnier to me thanĀ āyou are my fetishā i cant believe those fuckers managed to make talking about a bald fetish sappy i hate them/also my shoe vs mijn lief that made my entire year
im fairly certain almost everyone has been tagged shjdahsjd so ill just tag a couple of people and say everyone should do this if they want to
@womenstan @veerleloockx @zaralrssns @tsjernobyl @sonderthroughthestreets @thenerd10 @to-enter-polaris @foxsake5
#this took forever because of course i had to rewatch every clip#i take this shit so serious#we dont fuck around when talking about sobbe
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for the āgive me a characterā meme! Eric, Adam, William, Mallick, Strahm, Rigg!!!!
YESS thank u!!!!
Eric:
How I feel about this character: That's my boy!!! <33
All the people I ship romantically with this character: Uuuu okay. Adam, obviously, but concerning the SAW polycule: Adam, Art, Lawrence, William, & Mallick!!
My non-romantic OTP for this character: Him & Rigg!!! That's his best friend!!! + he and Gibson in the Eric Lives AU!! (Gibson IS dating his best friend + recognizes that he's made the effort to change <3)
My unpopular opinion about this character: You Understand This but the idea that he's irredeemable/deserved to die is complete and utter bullshit. This post that you made perfectly describes my feelings on that!!
One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: Firstly that he. Y'know. Didn't die. But I would have loved to see any of his interactions with Hoffman? Obviously they knew each other + I like to think they have since they were in academy together, so there's gotta be some sort of history there, y'know?? I feel like he definitely cared about Eric so I would've been very interested to see more regarding that relationship! + one more big one: I wish he knew/was at least made aware of the fact that Daniel was ALIVE and okay. It kills me thinking abt how this man died not knowing if his child made it out.
Adam:
How I feel about this character: I loooove him he deserved better. I relate pretty heavily to him.
All the people I ship romantically with this character: Hehe. Lawrence obviously!! Chainshipping is a HUGE comfort ship for me. BUT! Regarding the SAW polycule: Lawrence, Eric, William, Gibson, & Mallick!! + when concerning that alternative canon continuity we've been talking abt, Strahm. But only in that circumstance lol,,
My non-romantic OTP for this character: MANDY!!! In any AU where she's either not a disciple or abandoned her apprenticeship, I firmly believe that he and Amanda would be best friends. Mean gay/lesbian solidarity siblings who would fight tooth and nail for each other + who get each other on a level that not many others can. Pamela also!! Along w Mandy I like to think they talk about their experiences being trans a lot + just bitching w each other lol.
My unpopular opinion about this character: IDK how unpopular this actually is but I 100% believe that Adam would never become a disciple in any capacity, ESP not of his own accord. I genuinely think he'd rather die. That's just not something I can see him doing in any circumstance.
One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wish someone had gotten him out of the bathroom :( And in an AU where he lives I hope someone tells him what a bastard Zep was!! No one made that dude hold a gun to Diana's head and listen to her heartbeat what the FUCK was that!!
William:
How I feel about this character: He's such a sweetheart I love him,, <33
All the people I ship romantically with this character: Lawrence & Adam <3 in the polycule though this includes Eric & Mallick!!
My non-romantic OTP for this character: He and Pamela obviously!! His sister is his best friend and they're there for each other 100%.
My unpopular opinion about this character: Much like Eric I don't think he deserved to die/that he's completely irredeemable... he fights so hard to save everyone and is utterly devastated when he can't. He's willing to hurt himself to save others (nearly dislocating his shoulders trying to keep both Addy and Allen, burning himself with the steam for Debbie, etc.) and it's like. John is always talking about how it can't be personal but it seems pretty fucking personal here!
One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: The fact that nobody saw how hard he fought for his coworkers + the sacrifices he made for them upsets me to no end. That was intentional. John didn't want Tara + Brent (or Pamela for that matter!) to see him as human and that fucking bothers me!! So basically I just wish that they could've seen it via camera like literally almost every trap victim gets in some capacity!!
Mallick:
How I feel about this character: Yet another character I relate to wayyy too much <33 I love him...
All the people I ship romantically with this character: BRIT!!! + concerning the SAW polycule: Adam, Eric, William, & Lawrence!! (Art maybe too,,)
My non-romantic OTP for this character: I like to think he and Laura would've gotten along actually? I feel like that would be a good, healthy friendship. And I do like the idea of he and Brit like this too!! Other than that maybe Mandy? I feel like they could relate to each other a little bit, help each other when they're feeling brainweird,, (Mallick n Mandy: havers of Symptoms Disorder <3)
My unpopular opinion about this character: Again I don't know if it's unpopular, persay, but uh. I don't think the Mallick we meet in V would willingly sit and listen to Bobby Dagen in 3D. He'd hate that dude. My take on it is that Brit didn't survive V (although I think read somewhere that the crew confirmed she survived?) and that's why he was there: because he'd lost the one true connection he'd made in god knows how long. That's rlly the only way I see him sitting thru Dagen's bullshit lmao.
One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wanted him to see Brit again,, and I just wanted to see him more in general tbh, esp because he makes a reappearance where so many prior Jigsaw survivors do not. I would've liked to see him interact with Simone given that they both lost a limb/nearly a limb (in Mallick's case). This is related to that, but I also wish the evidence of the 10 Pints trap wasn't just. A tiny scar? I HC that it took his whole hand, so.
Strahm:
How I feel about this character: Ohhh my beloved. Why didn't they give you a better narrative it would've been SO interesting. I love you though <3
All the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly? Still super fond of Gibson/Strahm in a scenario where things are different,, I've written quite a bit abt them and kinda want to again but if I do it'll probably be. Not for a while + VASTLY different. but recent additions have been Hoffman (I used to. not understand Stroffman whatsoever. now I Get It) and Adam!!
My non-romantic OTP for this character: PEREZ!!! I've always thought of them as best friends since I first saw IV, and I do think he genuinely cared about her - quite a lot, actually, esp given how devastated he was when she was injured. They hang out at each other's apartments all the time + get coffee regularly. I love them.
My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't think he's a dumbass?? I don't know if that's unpopular. I think that he's IMPULSIVE and that it gets him into trouble, but Strahm has always struck me as incredibly intelligent + has a good moral compass for the most part?? I mean, he figured out there was a second apprentice (second as far as he knows, anyway) helping with traps just by examining Kerry's crime scene. I think he's VERY smart. He just acts quickly + sometimes that means there's not much planning for if things go south. (I DO agree that showing up to the packing plant w/out backup was dumb though,, doesn't mean he DESERVED the Water Cube but y'know)
One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: It's not really mentioned if he does in canon, but I wish he'd been made aware of the fact that Perez was alive,, it bothers me that he might've died not knowing she was okay. The other thing is that I wish he'd survived V!!! I think it would've been WAY more narratively satisfying for him to kinda follow in Tapp's footsteps as a vigilante Jigsaw hunter. (That's why I love yr takes on him so much!!)
Rigg:
How I feel about this character: He has such a big heart. He cares so so much. I wish ppl talked about him more :(
All the people I ship romantically with this character: Gibson!!! And uhh Hoffman, but they're exes,, but! In a scenario I'm kind of going over in my head, maaaybe Adam... the basics though is that he searches the Nerve Gas House independently and somehow finds the Bathroom following II, and He is the one to rescue Adam. Very tentative abt that one though bc I'm still working it out lol. (Possibly Eric/Adam/Rigg???)
My non-romantic OTP for this character: Eric!!! His best friend <3 I think he's also pretty close with Kerry, though I think he hangs out w her independent of Eric given,, the messy ex situation. I think he probably got along well with Fisk too!! OH and I think he and Sing would've been good friends as well. The chaos of a Rigg/Gibson/Sing friend trio...
My unpopular opinion about this character: Mmm I don't know that I have one? Other than maybe like. I understood why he went through the door. He knew Eric was on the other side; he just didn't know the circumstances or what would happen if he went through. All he knew was that he was that much closer to someone he's been trying to find/rescue for MONTHS + someone he cares for deeply. Of COURSE he went through. He breaks my heart ugh,,,
One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wish he hadn't even been tested!!!! His one flaw was that he cared about ppl and somehow John saw that as something he needed to fix!!! Like yes I do agree that it was eating away at him and the obsession might've been unhealthy, but that's two of his closest friends dude!! I don't think he deserved to be tested for that. I don't. He just wanted to help ppl and keep them safe. I absolutely despise how Rigg was treated dkjflkdf!!!!
#saw#eric#adam#william#mallick#strahm#rigg#asks#long post#THANK U I loved getting 2 answer this!!!#+ if anyone else wants 2 send more for different SAW characters I'm still open to these!!#dude I have So Many Feelings abt rigg lately goddd#also I just realized tht this is all my f/os. rigg is a platonic one But Still!!!
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āItās Jonas.ā
Itās been almost six months but I did say I would talk about my experience, so here goes...
(Itās really long, I started this draft when Jonas was three months old)
I was told that I would be induced on March 10, a Wednesday. My due date was the 17th but baby had been measuring large for months so my doctor just wanted to go ahead with it. I agreed. Weād made it to 39 weeks and that was good. Plus, I felt huge and just...done with being pregnant.Ā
I worked (from home) on the 10th. It felt sort of surreal, knowing that weād be at the hospital at 5 pm that evening, but I knew I needed to work to keep my mind off what was coming. For a while, at least.Ā
Weād started packing the hospital bags for weeks before. Iād left my suitcase open next to the bed and Iād throw things in there whenever Iād do laundry or think of something else I wanted to take. I sort of knew then that I was majorly overpacking (and in hindsight itās laughable how much stuff I never wore/used) but at least we were prepared, right?
Yeah, about that...
Mister drove to the hospital. Since I was being induced, it wasnāt any frenetic, movie scene type, panicked dad experience. We just put our things in the car and drove there. On the way we talked about how strange it was, knowing that when we came home (God willing), there would be a baby in the car seat. Of course at that time we still didnāt know if our baby was a girl or boy.
(Mister told me later that he was almost certain baby was a boy. He said heād heard too many nurses/medical personnelĀ āslipā while we were having ultrasounds and whatnot.)
People can choose to find out or not, but it puts a whole other dimension on the experience when you donāt know in advance. Just my two cents.
As we turned into the hospital parking lot, Mister told me to open the glove box.Ā āThereās something for you in there,ā he said. I opened it, trying to swallow the bowling ball that had lodged itself in my throat.
āOh!ā I said.Ā āWhat I always wanted - an ownerās manual!ā
When Iām nervous, I often joke.
There was a small white box next to the ownerās manual. In it was a necklace with an aquamarine pendant; one of the birthstones for March. Of course I cried.
We took an obligatory selfie before going inside the hospital. After getting checked in, we went to our room. I remember thinking that weād only be in that room probably a day, and that 24 hours later, weād be upstairs post delivery.
Ha. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
I was given a drug to start labor (not pitocin). Iāve always hated needles and so getting an IV was not part of my top 100,000 Things I Love to Do List. Thankfully, the nurse who put it in was really good, so I barely felt anything.Ā
The one major memory of this whole experience (other than Jonas, of course) was how good the nurses were. I am forever grateful to them.Ā
Other than the IV and monitors, Mister having to sleep on the sofa, and me laying on a hospital bed, we could almost trick ourselves into imagining we were staying at some sort of hotel. Almost. For a few hours, anyway.
Wednesday night into Thursday morning was okay. I was feeling persistent pain. It wasnāt terrible, just uncomfortable, and I knew that it was part of the process. I didnāt sleep great but I was able to get some rest.
Around six oāclock there was a shift change, and my nurse for the day came in. Liz had a kind of cheerleader vibe about her, very positive, and in some other circumstances I mightāve found her annoying. But I liked her.
My doctor came in a little after seven and broke my water. That experience was...weird. I mean, it was a new experience for me, so itās hard to describe. Uh, water is wet, so it was wet? Honestly, the thing I remember the most is that there was some meconium after Doc broke my water, which worried me a little. Baby was doing fine and no one seemed super worried, so I set it aside. I DID think it meant I was guaranteed to have the baby that day. How wrong I was, and not for the first time...
They gave me pitocin after my water was broken. So my contractions increased. It felt more like strong period cramps to me. I should say at this point that I have a high pain tolerance. I donāt know what the same level of contractions would feel like to someone else. Sometimes I was only mildly aware that I was having them.Ā
Probably one of the most annoying things about my entire experience Wednesday/Thursday/into Friday was not being allowed to eat anything. I had ice chips, and water, and Liz managed to get me some Jello. This was actually something of an issue, because I had gestational diabetes, so at first nobody wanted to give me anything except for sugar-free Jello. I did have some of that, but as the day wore on and there wasnāt much progress, Liz talked to somebody and got me some regular Jello. I wouldāve preferred something else, but Jello was what I was allowed, so Jello I got.
I...donāt really like Jello. Seriously, like if itās the only thing, Iāll eat it, but...yeah.
The hours ticked by. Progress was slow. At first I looked forward to Liz and the other nurses coming in and checking me, but by late afternoon, it was clear that things were slooooooow. The best part of Thursday was sometime in the afternoon Liz suggested bouncing on the ball. I was really happy to get out of bed and bounce for a while. After doing that, I decided it was time for the epidural.
Iād decided beforehand I wanted an epidural. As I said, I absolutely hate needles, but I also didnāt want my body to be so stressed that labor couldnāt progress. In the back of my mind, I also thought that if the situation changed, and a c-section became necessary, the epidural would already be in place.Ā
After the epidural was put in, I started shaking on the edge of the bed, tears rolling down my face. Liz was still holding on to me, and Mister was there, and they both asked what was wrong. I couldnāt speak for a minute. It felt a little like I was five years old, still terrified of that darn needle, and all the tension Iād suppressed had to get out somehow.
āItās okay,ā Liz said, giving me a hug. Sometimes thatās all thatās needed. I was sorry to see her go when her shift ended. She said she was working again on Saturday and that sheād stop by to see us after the baby was born, to see what we were having. (She did stop by.)
This was a constant refrain from most of the nurses: upon first coming into the room, and looking at the white board that had my information and seeing next toĀ āBabyā was writtenĀ āSurprise!!ā we inevitably got the question,Ā āYou donāt know what youāre having? Thatās awesome!āĀ
Getting the epidural made the pain diminish, but it also made things more complicated for me because I couldnāt move. Overnight, a tag team of nurses turned me one way and the other, and checked me.Ā
(I should also mention that all of the staff at the hospital had already been vaccinated, and they all wore masks into the rooms. We did not have to wear masks in the room, but if we went outside it, they were required.)
By Thursday night, both Mister and I were feeling rather discouraged. All day Thursday weād been told that baby would comeĀ āby the afternoonā, thenĀ āby the eveningā, and then late Thursday,Ā āby Friday morningā. Bear in mind that Iād been on an IV/ induced since roughly six pm on Wednesday.Ā
Maybe this sounds laughable to people whoāve had 72 hour long labors, but Iād been mentally prepared for around 24 hours of labor. My twin sister had been induced with her first, and her labor had gone about that long. Around midnight on Thursday I was feeling pretty discouraged. Mister wasnāt angry but he said (when we were alone) that he felt like the staff had been overly optimistic. I just donāt think either of us had thought about the implications of me being induced without any sign of active labor. In hindsight, I was glad it was done then, but...yeah. Not being mentally prepared for that long of a labor was hard. I felt bad for everyone who was waiting on updates; it felt like literally nothing happened for about thirty hours. Like I think was dilated to five by Friday morning. And effaced? Practically nothing. My cervix wasnāt getting thinner at all.
Early Friday morning, a new nurse started her shift. My first impressions of Diana were...well, I thought,Ā āsheās definitely not as friendly as Liz.ā She was more brusque. As I hadnāt slept much Thursday night, and having been in the same situation for over a day, I didnāt care nearly as much about making friends. By that point I was tired - physically, mentally, emotionally.
But Diana was awesome. She got me turned onto my hands and knees, and had me start doing some vigorous exercises, to really move labor along. I was fine with doing whatever she said because I was REALLY ready to be done. So it felt a little like my cross country days in high school, at the finish of a difficult race. I was tired, I wasnāt sure how much I could do physically, but we had a GOAL and dammit, we were going to do everything to get there!
By late morning, even after the exercises, I was still dilated at a five. Hardly effaced at all. After checking me again, Diana left the room. The option of a c-section had been discussed, especially since it was over 24 hours since my water had been broken.
āI think Iām done,ā I said to Mister. Even though Iād never really been 100% āI want a natural birth experienceā, it felt a little like giving up. I started crying again.Ā āI just donāt think this [natural labor] is going to work. Iām done.ā
āIf youāre done, thatās it,ā Mister said.Ā āTell Diana you want a c-section.ā
I have to say something here about Mister. Even though he kept saying he didnāt know what he was doing or how he should support me, he was AWESOME. He supported every decision, and listened to me talk about the different options. For as hard as labor was for me, I think he had a different hard time. All he could do was literally sit there and watch me go through pain and doubt and fear, and comfort me as best he could. He was a great comfort.
(This is why even if thoughtful partners donāt think theyāre doing a good job at supporting laboring moms, they most likely are. Their presence is invaluable. For anyone who doesnāt have a supportive partner with them, or an absent one, my profound condolences.)
When Diana came back in, I told her I wanted a c-section. This was around 11 oāclock Friday morning, March 12th.Ā āI agree,ā she said right away, patting me on the shoulder.Ā āYouāve done everything you possibly can to get this baby delivered naturally. I trust momās instincts on this.ā
Her support meant so much. Really, when a veteran nurse says they trust your instinct, how can you not feel better about your decision?
She left to contact my doctor and several other people, and Mister let people know what was going on. At that point I was more relieved that soon it would be over. I wanted to see our baby.
Mister said later that he learned that hospitals have two speeds: 1) weāre in no rush; and 2) something is going to happen NOW. While my c-section wasnāt an emergency, once the decision was made, things did happen fast. Diana brought the anesthesiologist into the room so he could numb me up. As I already had the epidural, this didnāt take very long. After a few minutes of letting the medication work, Bryce asked if I could feel my toes.
āNo,ā I said. It was weird. I knew I shouldnāt feel them, but I couldnāt help saying,Ā āIām trying to wiggle them!ā
āNo, no, itās good you canāt feel them,ā both Bryce and Mister said. I was wheeled out of the labor room a few minutes after that (I was not sorry to leave it) and taken to the OR. Mister went with someone else to take our stuff to the recovery room.
Iāve been in operating rooms before. They arenāt places that make me want to stay there. Bright lights, metal everywhere, many thoughts of what could go wrong...although I will say that all the staff in the OR made me feel confident. I was glad to see my doctor.Ā
I felt better once I was in the OR (the only time in my life Iāve ever felt that way) but it felt like a long time until Mister arrived in there. Heād gone with a member of staff as they took all our stuff to a recovery room, then been taken to the OR. Once he was in place, everything started.
Doctor M had asked me before Mister arrived if he wanted toĀ āannounceā was the baby was. I told her that he most likely would, but to ask him. She did, and he said yes, heād love to do that.
There was a blue sheet in front of me so I really couldnāt see anything that went on - which was PERFECTLY FINE with me.
Obviously, I was flat on my back, and everything below my chest was numb. The doctor and others asked me at various times if I felt anything, and I didnāt (other than tugging and pulling). At one point, I suddenly smelled the unmistakable scent of something burning.Ā āWhat isĀ that? That burning smell?ā I asked, glancing above me (really, behind me) at Bryce, who stood there.
āIāll tell you later,ā he said.
Which immediately told me I didnātĀ want to know what it was.Ā
Yeah, it was me burning, while the medical staff cauterized me, keeping me from bleeding to death.
(The fact that cesarean sections are major surgery, and regularly happen every day in the United States, is, frankly, a miracle. Everyone hears about the horror stories when something goes wrong, but considering the number of women who go through them without incident, we as a society completely take them for granted.)
As the tugging and pulling continued, and Doctor M said things like,Ā āthereās the headā, the sense of anticipation increased. Iāve never felt anything like it before. Both Mister and I knew any moment we would meet our baby, and after waiting 39 weeks (and eight years before that), it was almost unbearable.
Doctor M said,Ā āHereās the baby!ā
I heard a slight cry, and I looked up at Mister, who sat on my right, holding my hand. He looked down at me and said,Ā āItās Jonas.ā
Even thinking about that moment now brings tears to my eyes. In knowing Mister almost eleven years, Iāve only seen him cry maybe five times. Including this year, on March 12th. We both were bawling, and laughing at the same time, as Jonas VERY loudly screamed his disapproval at being evicted from his warm, cozy space. At one point, Mister, laughing as he cried said,Ā āOne of the ---s (our last name) needs to stop crying in here!ā
He has a rather husky cry, Jonas does. I loved his cry from the moment I first heard it (though I donāt actually likeĀ to hear him cry, if that makes any sense).
As I was sewn up, Mister moved his chair over to where our baby was, under a heat lamp. Then he brought Jonas over to me. My first thought was, heās HUGE. My second thought was, he was the most beautiful baby Iād ever seen.
He weighed nine pounds, five ounces at birth, and had a fifteen inch head circumference. After I heard that, I knew a natural birth was never going to happen. He was born on Friday the 12th of March, at 1:14 pm. The digital clock on the wall said 13:14, which I thought was cool. And it made it a bit easier to remember the time :)
He had lots of dark hair, which I loved. My sisterās had bald babies, so it was nice to have a different-looking kid. Over the last few months, his hair almost entirely disappeared due to cradle cap, and is coming back in...blond. Genetics!
I can say now that itās past, that I was more afraid during pregnancy than I could admit to anyone, even Mister. I have always been a worrier, and finally being pregnant after so many years, and being high risk due to my age (and my shunt, and the gestational diabetes...) I was in almost constant worry of something going wrong. First of miscarriage (no one needed to tell me of the statistics regarding older mothers), then of stillbirth, like the cord getting wrapped around babyās neck, and death happening before delivery could happen. I have heard of at least two different stories of that happening to pregnant women in the ninth month - friends of friends of mine - and the fear of that, or something else equally catastrophic happening was, at times, almost crippling. I wouldāve preferred to have never been pregnant at all rather than suffer a miscarriage or stillbirth.Ā
Perhaps it sounds childish, but mentally I didnāt think I was strong enough to have the dream of motherhood dashed, when every day of pregnancy brought that dream closer. I was (and still am) too much of a realist to ignore the statistics; I couldnāt pretend I was 22 and have a blissfully ignorant uneventful pregnancy. To this day, even after giving birth to a healthy baby, one of the biggest things that will set me off is the assumptionĀ that way too many people have.Ā āWeāre planning on getting pregnant soon.āĀ āJust have kids, youāll understand.ā āI can take you out and make one just like you.ā [a redneck phrase Iāve heard being said to a misbehaving child]
Not many of us canĀ āplanā on getting pregnant exactly when we want to - or even within a yearās time. Not all of us canĀ ājust have kidsā - theyāre not like going to the store and getting a gallon of milk. (I recognize the privilege of living in a society where going to the store and expecting fresh milk can also sound arrogant to those who donāt live in one.)Ā āTake outā a kid (even said in jest), andĀ āmake another oneā? I MIGHT have another child in the next couple years. More likely, I wonāt. Not all of us can just get pregnant at the drop of a hat. (Thatās assuming the one wanting to get pregnant even has a male partner or sperm donor at the ready...some never find that person to have a child with. And adoption can be a great thing, but not everyone is cut out for it. Shaming infertile and childless people for not wanting to adopt is disgusting.)
I was open with my OB-GYN about my fears during pregnancy and she referred me to several resources, and monitored me for PPD. My best friendās son died in March 2020, a year before Jonas was born (though Billy had severe disabilities which made his death a certain thing), and my sister had had a stillborn son in August 2019 (my nephew Christian). So Jonas being born healthy was a huge relief for me. I canāt really describe the relief, except to say that as much physical weight I gained during pregnancy, letting go of the weight of the worry was felt even more deeply than losing the pounds since his birth (and Iāve havenāt lost all of that).
I will probably always worry about *something*, when it comes to Jonas. He gave me a scare earlier this week, rolling off the couch before I could catch him. Heās fine...and the incident scared me more than it scared him. But every day since he was born is a reminder of the gift he is, and I hope I never lose sight of that, even on the frustrating days (and there have been those over the last almost six months, and there will be more to come).
If you ever wanted children, and are fortunate enough to have them, cherish them. Be grateful for them, even when they drive you up the wall. Even when you only want three minutesā peace, and they wonāt give it to you. Love them anyway. I try to.Ā Ā
#this was heavier than i thought it would be#don't get me wrong#i had a good experience overall#nurses are awesome#nurses#hospital#birth#birthday#march 12#jonas#2021#life#real life#family#me and mister#mister#he's great#pregnancy#parenthood
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[ he stands you up ] requested.
@taestannieā: super angsty anniversary weekend where he stands you up.
@houseofarmantoā: forgetting your anniversary.
warnings: there are none??Ā
A/N: requests for reactions are now open and without commissions. if you want to send a reaction request in, simply send me an ask!
NAMJOON
It's been six months since you started your relationship with Namjoon and despite his Ā busy schedule he promised, a million times promised, that he would be able to meet with you for dinner to celebrate the special day. Any other day, any other time, you'd not get your hopes up because you knew how unpredictable his schedule was even if it was premade and solidified. Things came up and you understood that.
But, after seeing the look on his face, hearing the sureness in his voice when he made his promise, you decided that you would trust it and wait up for him. You put on a nice dress, did your hair and makeup prettily and waited for him to come pick you up, a large smile on your face.
As the hours ticked by, your smile seemed to fade and your patience began to wither. An hour, you could understand with him being late. If you remembered correctly, he had a busy day ahead of him so an hour late was expected. But four hours!? Four whole hours and not a single phone call?
To say you were livid would be an understatement. With a huff, you were kicking your heels from your feet, and trudging up the stairs to take all of this gunk off of your face and go to bed. Night completely ruined.
As you were wiping at your eyeliner, your phone lit up beside you. The smiling picture of you and Namjoon doing it's job in annoying you as a message from his truly popped up onto the screen.
[23:19] ā” joonie ā” : OHMYGOD!? BABY. im sooo fucking sorry, i forgot. im not even going to act like i didn't, because i really forgot.
[23:21] ā” joonie ā” : and don't take this to think ur not important to me, bc ur the most important thing to me... i just got caught up in the studio.
[23:26] ā” joonie ā” : im running home now, ready to make it up to u. please don't be mad!!
Setting your phone down, you shook your head, turning your attention back to your reflection in the mirror. You knew he meant his apologies and that he wasn't lying when he said that you were important to him.
If only this had just been the first time he forgot about you.
JIN
A hundred days together was a big deal. To you and Jin. He had woke you up this morning with the biggest of smiles ready to tell you exactly what today was, as if you'd forget. Like most days, Jin had to work, and of course you didn't mind. You were looking forward to when he'd come home.
There was no way he hadn't planned something fun for the two of you to do tonight and you couldn't wait to figure out what it was. Jin liked to keep things interesting when it came to your relationship, always surprising you and willing to spice things up.
Even after one hundred days, you could genuinely say that there has never been a bored moment between the two of you. Whether he was making you laugh with his corny jokes or if you were teaching each other new recipes, there was always something for you to do. Something fun that you could enjoy together.
Throughout the entire day, you couldn't help but think up what something special would he have planned for you two. Ideas changing the later in the day it got. The romantic walk where the two of you watched the sunset being crossed off as the sunset and he was nowhere in sight.
Briefly, you contemplated sending him a text, but didn't want to be annoying or overbearing. Surely, he didn't forget, right? He was just running late. Probably caught up at practice or in the studio or something? Jin was a busy guy, you understood that much, all you had to do was wait and when he came home the two of you would be able to do something fun together.
That was what you kept telling yourself as you watched the time change on the clock, until it's past midnight and the front door is slamming shut. Okay, stargazing was always fun! Especially if you got creative and brought blankets out into the backyard.
Without a word, Jin was entering the room. He offered you a small smile before kicking his shoes off of his feet. You watched as he stripped his jeans from his body, tossing his shirt away in the corner before sinking onto the bed. āI'm beat. Will you turn out the light when you're finished?ā
He spoke on a yawn, eyes falling closed as he slowly began to drift to sleep.
YOONGI
[ 09:57 ] to- yoonfi ā©: you won't be busy all day, right?
[ 10:13 ] yoonfi ā©: nope, not all day. y?
[ 10:13 ] to- yoonfi ā© : come home early! ive a surprise for you!!
To say your boyfriend was a hard worker would be the understatement of the century. Long hours spent in the studio, producing track after track, refusing to eat until he got the hook just right. He was so hard on himself, but with good reason, the boy was a genius when it came to making music.
The same could be said for his first mixtape, AgustD. You could perfectly remember the smile on his face when he let you listen to the completed version, the way it grew when it finally dropped and his fans loved it more than he had thought.
That was four years ago. Exactly. He had changed so much in the past four years, grown in so many ways and you were so proud of him. Which was why you were more than willing to spoil him on the four year anniversary of his mixtape.
Blessed that he didn't have a busy day, even though he told you that he didn't, you made sure to check with the others. Your boyfriend had the tendency to forget when there was something pending on their schedule.
According to them, though, he was free as a bird and you were ready to take advantage of the free time you'd have as soon as he finished his meeting this afternoon.
A little while after he left for work, you went out and bought an array of ingredients to prepare his favorite meal. Paired with his favorite brand of wine, you couldn't wait to see that smile of his once he walked through the door and caught whiff of what you made.
The food wasn't it, though. You also had splurged and bought him those speakers he had been eyeing for the past few weeks. Figured you'd surprise him with the gift after dinner, when he was relaxed in front of the TV just after you offered to give his back the massage it greatly deserved.
Then, of course, he'd be overwhelmed with happiness and here comes the wild monkey sex you'd have on the couch, and on the stairs, and on the bedroom floor, mapping out every inch of the room until you were falling onto the bed. Or something like that.
You had been so caught up in your plan and making sure that the food was just right, that it took you a moment to realize how late it had gotten. Way past the time Yoongi was supposed to be home.
With furrowed brows, you lifted your phone to dial him. His drawl of a 'hello' tickling your eyes after the third ring. āI thought you'd be home early?ā You wondered after he moved to a quieter room to hear you better.
āI'm sorry, baby. I should've called. The meeting sucked so me and Joon have to come up with something new. It'll be all night, but I'll see you in the morning. Alright?ā What were you to say? He had to work. Mumbling your agreement, you let the line go dead before plopping at the kitchen table.
HOSEOK
You had thought that Hoseok flying in on the same day of your anniversary would be cutting it close. It was a 14 hour flight, there was no way he'd land in time to make the plans that you had stupidly planned and you didn't really want him to. He'd be so exhausted after flying and you were sure that all he'd want to do would be to get some rest.
But it was your three year anniversary and he wanted to celebrate, insisted that he wouldn't be too tired to spend time with you and marveled about how the only thing he wanted after a long flight was to be with you.
So, per his request, you were slipping into the silky dress he had sent over. Allowing his stylist to come and do your hair and makeup, again, per his request.Ā Ā
Despite the fact that he wanted to keep where he was taking you a secret, you were able to convince him that it would be better if the two of you just met there in hopes to save time. He, reluctantly, agreed which was why you were seated alone in the restaurant he had so graciously rented out for the two of you.
Scanning over the menu over and over again, reading and rereading every word hoping to pass time. He should be here by now, right? Hobi was clear when he thought you that he'd be landing a little bit after eight and he had planned to come straight here from the airport. It was now 10, so what gives?
Lifting your phone, you frown at the message that you had somehow missed while studying the menu.
[ 21:22 ] hoseokie: princess!! our connecting flight was delayed. i won't be able to makee it :( sooo sorry, ill see you when i get back!
Your standing from your seat before you can read the end of the message, annoyed and overall disappointed. If only he had listened to you when you said over and over again that he wouldn't be able to make it.
At least the restaurant was empty, definitely saved you from looking as stupid as you felt in front of a room full of strangers.
JIMIN
Six o'clock. He had repeated it countless times before leaving the house so where was he now that it was six o'clock? He knew how important this day was to you, how important it should be to him. So where was he?
Was it too much to ask to be with your boyfriend on the anniversary of the day you met? He had said he would be here, so why wasn't he sitting next to you on the stupid park bench, enjoying the picnic you had prepared?
You had met Jimin exactly a year ago today. Could still remember the smile that took over his features when he spotted you seated on this very park bench, exasperation tinting your cheeks as you leaned back in attempt to catch your breath.
He had plopped down beside you without a second thought, a lame joke falling from his lips one he used in hopes to cheer you up. It had worked, you had laughed and instantly fell for the large smile that seemed to light up his entire face.
The two of you had been inseparable since that day, falling in love with each other slowly as the days went by until he was asking you to move in with him five months into your relationship. You said yes, of course and these past months settled and together had been... not what you were expecting.
A nice place for the two of you to live meant that Jimin needed to become a bit more serious about his work and no matter how great of a dancer he was, the craft didn't really call for a steady check. Which was why you encouraged, not pushed, him to get a regular 9-5 that would benefit the both of you in the end.
That's what people in serious blooming relationships did. Started making plans for the future, preparing to take care of each other. And in no way, did you expect him to quit dancing ā just dial it back a bit so you wouldn't go bankrupt.
Either way, you regretted the decision of both of you needing steady jobs because lately it was like the two of you had become ships in the night. Hardly seeing each other for more than an hour with your opposite hours. But tonight, he promised, assured you that he would make it and be able to make up all the time the two of you had lost.
You were excited, got dressed up, yet he was nowhere to be found. After a full hour of waiting or him, you were effectively annoyed and ready to pack up and leave. Just as you stood, your phone buzzed in your purse.
Setting your belongings back onto the bench with a huff, you're reaching into your purse and pulling out your phone. Jimin's name lighting up on the screen, only worsening your mood. Did he really wait a whole hour to text you that he wasn't going to be able to make it? Of course he'd miss it, it was obvious now after an hour.
[19:07] jiminie!: i know u must be pissed nd im sooo sorry.
[19:08] jiminie!: i came home early nd wanted to take a little nap, but overslept. [19:10] jimine!: come home, i've prepared something nice for us.
No matter how mad you wanted to be, how mad you knew you should be, you really couldn't bring yourself to be. The boy was tired and you loved him, asked this of him so the least you could do was be a little bit understanding.
TAEHYUNG
The scowl doesn't leave your face not once the entire day. While you're cleaning up the house, while you're fixing lunch, while you're binge watching your favorite TV show. Pursed lips, raised brows and clenched teeth. You've been a foul mood all day and you had one person to thank for that.
The same person who rolled over half sleep nearly crushing you to death, but you didn't say anything because you loved him and loved being in his arms no matter the fact that you couldn't breathe underneath his weight. The same person that sprung up this morning, not a word about the meaning of today, just a grumbled: āCould you get breakfast ready?ā As he pulled himself from he bed to go shower.
The same person that forgot your fucking anniversary and didn't even bat an eye when you brought up the date in hopes hearing the numbers would some how jot his memory. It didn't. What it did do, though, was remind him of the various things he had scheduled today with his little friends. Barely stopped to kiss you as he rushed out the door.
So your foul mood was his fault and you were planning to give him the cold shoulder until you were satisfied with the groveling he'd pull from being ignored. If there was one thing Taehyung hated was being ignored, you knew that more than anyone. One thing that you hated? When your so called boyfriend forgot the day that marked the start of your relationship.
You figured ignoring him would be fair.
Now, there was no way you didn't understand that Taehyung was a busy guy. He was always in and out of the house and so adamant about putting his all into his work and you admired that about him. You just never thought it would be some type of tug of war when it came to spending time with him. Especially on days as important as this one.
Punching the pause button on the remote, you reached to grab your phone cutting it's vibrating dance short as you read the message that had appeared on the screen.
[ 17:11 ] joon: happy anniversary. sorry we're stealing ur boyfriend :( what did he do this morning, though?
Ah, Namjoon their ever so considerate leader. Not a surprise that he'd be more attentive than your actual boyfriend on this day. How could someone, who was not even inside your relationship, wish you happy anniversary before your own man!?
[ 17:13 ] to joon: he forgot.
Tossing the phone beside you, the scowl on your face deepens as you glare at the characters on the screen. Stupid idiots, kissing and cooing as if their whole love story wasn't about to go to shit within the second act. How unfair. Taehyung would love bad mouthing shitty romcoms, but you had to be mad at him because he was a little shit.
Not even five minutes after the message sent to Namjoon was your phone dinging, Taehyung's specialized name lighting up your screen. Pfft, did he really need his friend to remind him of the day? How pathetic.
[ 17:17 ] boyfriend!!: baby!! oooh my god, im sooo... u know this isn't like me, i don't know what to say. we're in a radio interview now, but im rushing home right when it's over. pls, don't be upset. i mean i know ur upset, but lets at least try to salvage what left of the day we have. please. im soo sorry.
You thought, for a moment that you could be petty in this moment. Type back some snarky reply that you knew would make him feel some type of way. You just... didn't have the energy. Being forgotten about sucked, hurt in an odd way that you couldn't really explain.
Taehyung was a great boyfriend, but it was starting to get a little old the way he had your relationship on the back burner of his life. He was either with you, or not. Something's gotta give.
JUNGKOOK
You knew from the moment the words left Namjoon's lips, your boyfriend wasn't going to find true peace ever again. Let alone be able to rest properly. Producer. Which brought on a new array of responsibilities that Jungkook to very seriously, as he should.
Much like your meticulous boyfriend, everything had to be absolutely perfect and anything short of that wasn't worth presenting. That exact mentality was the reason why he spent so many long hours in the studio, at dance practice. Going over and redoing each note, each step, until he was satisfied or until he was being dragged out.
It was more often the latter because this boy was never satisfied no matter how great everything he did ended up looking, sounding. He still strives to be the best, better than the best. So it was no surprise that you were seeing him much less when his new title was being announced.
Producer Jungkook. It was safe to say that he was stressed. Not to mention that he still had to keep up with choreography, singing, interviews and being the youngest of the biggest boy band in the world.
You understood that, so you didn't blame he when he was too tired to fool around. Didn't make a fuss when dinner plans had to be canceled. Agreed when he asked you to watch him, help him figure out what he was missing. You were always there for him when he needed you.
So it was completely fair that you'd get a little pissed when you asked the same for him and he didn't deliver. It wasn't like you were requesting something bizarre or out of the ordinary, honestly, you just wanted him to be home early to spend a few hours together for your anniversary.
Three months wasn't long, not that much of a milestone, but it was still exciting and you wanted to be with him. Especially since he's been like a ghost these past few weeks. Was it too much to ask that he was home for just one night? Just one night where he was Jeon Jungkook of BTS, but just your regular boyfriend.
His apology came two hours after he was supposed to show up. A short message explaining that he wouldn't be able to make it. Like you couldn't of guessed that. Still, you waited, his favorite show cued up and ready. The incoming message had you flicking the TV off with a huff, trudging up the stairs with a prominent pout of your lips.
The pout didn't lift from your lips the rest of the night and pretty soon you were slipping underneath the sheets, lip jutted. He missed dinner fine, five o'clock was a little early to ask someone to leave work. But was he really not even going to make the effort to get in before you had fallen asleep?
Guess not.
It wasn't until after one did you feel the bed shift, a tentative arm wrapping around your waist as a heavy breath left his lips. But you were in no mood to be cuddled, especially not by him. Fully awake and alert now, you were shoving his hand from your body, scooting away from him.
āCome on, baby. Please. Today's been so shitty, I just want to hold you.ā You could hear the sadness in his voice. But what about you? Did he even consider that your day might have Ā been shitty too?
Forcing your eyes shut, you acted as if you had fallen back asleep. Back turned to him, because you could guess the sad look he had on his face. You couldn't bring yourself to turn around and give in, allowing yourself to be engulfed in him. Not tonight.
#bts reactions#jungkook fic#taehyung fic#jimin fic#hoseok fic#yoongi fic#jin fic#namjoon fic#namjoon#jin#yoongi#hoseok#jimin#taehyung#jungkook#kim namjoon#kim seokjin#min yoongi#jung hoseok#park jimin#kim taehyung#jeon jungkook#bts#bts smut#bts imagine
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anyways im gonna listen to/read the fuckin...rise of the ogre shit bc ive been putting it off šŖš„“ im gonna put stuff under the cut bc im gonna be TALKING n dont wanna make a new post everytime
piss
ok he performed for 2 pounds 50. which is basically $3 today i- well it was absolutely a power play on his father behalf that also had the promise of money so.
also lol he said Rejection fueled my ambitions which, yknow,, i already knew but it still hurts and i will continue to talk ab it xoxo
AH HELP. "...if ebay had been invented at the time he would've sold me online there and then,"
"man hands on misery to man, yknow"
THEN PROCEEDS TO CONNECT IT TO MUSIC/HIS CAREER. this man said :) the one thing i truly have a passion for. the one thing i fucking like.
oh yeah. bullied by students AND teachers.
oh god hes 42ish during this interview? ok.
the fuckin school bully saying he wouldve acted differently if he knew what hed become
getting called "faceache", then proceeds to call 2d that. jfc he really does just repeat what everyone says. really "treating others how i was treated/how they treat me"
maybe thats why? hes kinder to fans? bc :] you support me and like me so, ok ill return that energy
MURDOC GETTING HIS ASS BEAT N PARADING HOME LIKE WELL I WON BC 'I PISSED YOU OFF' SJDJD
a real rowdy boy. absolute nasty boy. fraud and arson... shooting ppls windows with his air pistols
black sabbath being a huge inspiration? fucking absolutely.
became a satanist n shit at age 16? "it fitted me like a glove" "heavy metal and devil worshipping became my favorite past times" ajsj funny that ppl in trying times often seek religion or following of some sort
heavy metal being his favorite, n loving the clash, while hannibals was more punk based
hannibal breaking murdocs nose for the 2nd and 3rd time for playing his music on hannibals turntable
he doesnt sound that bitter? ab hannibal? he doesnt sound incredibly fond but he talks ab how he got him into a lot of music. so, i imagine they we're a bit closer than i thought?
international baccalaureate in antisocial? anthropology?
MURDOC IS ACTUALLY SMART HE WAS JUST. NOT INTERESTED IN THE SUBJECTS? I GUESS? (also,,, he literally Built cyborg noodle and i think he had a PhD too lol. but its always nice to hear hes actually...yknow, interested or good at other things)
alright but murdoc having a fascination w/ other cultures - or at least some interests, that lead him to actually study the damn subject and "pass with flying colors"
'fuck college though. im gonna be a rockstar'
he sold his soul at 18ish? whenever the fuck he got kicked out but college was mentioned so my brain goes to 18ish idk
he lived with his father still and paid rent via low paying jobs one including 'part time dressing as santa'
help he was ab to take a Personal Job for quick cash and uhh well, "still made me call him sir though" he really said 20 dollars is 20 dollars, huh "that story was totally true"
alright, 1997,,,
2d stuff
loves zombie stuff? thats really cute, and is freaked out by the way they move. god he rambles
both he and murdoc are horses in the chinese zodiac
[[jfc ok if the official shit compares them a lot i understand why ppl ship them but Dont. its a narrative foil and that doesnt always mean Romance jfc.]]
SUMTHINK.
truly... a lil stinker. super cute bouncing baby and a "bit thick" which is stull so endearing to me. hes just a happy man!
excitable 10 year old and would dance around his room
jfc the fact he has normal/caring parents. i kinda forget how opposite hes supposed to be from murdoc but i think thats another thing jsjsysg (murdoc said why isnt my tragic story making me famous why does he get to be the Star. no wonder he acts like a loon)
i still dont get how gettin bonked by a tree branch made him go bald and also turn his hair blue
big tiddy nurse mommy,,,
went to the same school as The Cure and got decent grades despite hittin the noggin quite hard. WANTED TO BE A STORM CHASER... OMG??
oh thats really cute, hed bond with his dad by building keyboards toegther š„ŗš
messed around with paints and graffiti? artistic king
MURDOC AGAIN: QHDJ 'VILLANOUS' GANG HELP
oh yeah d day...new instruments, new band, new singer - and 'had to be the best or no dice' and absolutely CONFIDENT that his songs were bangers ajsjd
but on that same note, had absolute faith (or desperate) in 2d which i love
ransacked the fucking music shop jdjdj and 2d said he was Just Standing There behind the counter the whole shift hdhdh
"thats when your eye came out, yeah" "yeah!-" HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND SO HAPPY AB IT ?? yes he said ut hurt but he sounds...ok
jfc murdoc ragdolling this poor mf around. dunking him and slapping him around. actually? so incredibly terrible and abusive and i hate him for that š« im sorry 2d stans. we dont condone that behavior here ong.
how and why the FUCK did 2d's parents allow that fucker near their child after that i??? help. wtf. his moms a nurse why didnt she just have murdoc sit in plain view of other people. god damn.
2d flying out the window n hitting the curb "whoops"
"just two black holes...[ah] it looked great...a blue hair, blacked eyed GOD- the girls would go wild-" "pretty boy looks" ???? HELP. HE DOESNT GO LIGHT ON THE COMPLIMENTS, HUH
RUSS TIME
oh yeah, he straight up kiddnapped this man help. idk how he managed that, russ is a Big Man??
AND MURDOCS MUSIC WAS SO FUCKING SEXY GOOD that russel said hm alright ill stay, :] out ifbhis owm free will im screaming.
"oh this is one of them febreeze commercials" "uh . yeah sure. *murdoc turning on his Sick Tunes*" but that either means? it was just his guitar playing the convinced russ? unless he and 2d recorded sumn?
"2d was the looks, murdoc the brains, then russel truly was the heart"
'while 2d and murdoc liked music, this man was a MUSICIAN' god fucking bless this book holy shit ny man russ getting some respect. he said back hurts from carrying this band.
murdoc basically heard this guy had big trauma that gave him So Many Skills n said "thats what i want" ok idk thats actually really? inch rest ting to me. seems that murdocs fine handing out compliments but i guess that where his charisma really helps out yeah?
"he was going to be in my band whether he liked it or not" ...murdoc-
HELP. 2D IS LIKE BRO GO ON IM LISTENING š„ŗ despite hearing the story 50-60 times and murdoc said fuck off you lil shit.
ok irrelevant but i love his voice! its super comforting n nice to listen to š„ŗ
HELP MURDOCS SO BITTER. "NOTHING THAT HAPPENS TO US IS NORMAL" WELL YEAH. THIS IS TRAUMA CENTRAL.
idk how/why he sucked up all his friends souls though ... how are they all possessing the same person. they said "its my turn on The Russ"
DELL IS HIS ACTUAL, LITERAL SOULMATE...KING...š
went to a private school,,, and was already possessed? and the thing where he gets bigger and smaller is a reoccurring thing?
was in a coma for 4 years?
hiphop machine...time and history...the ultimate set i guess.
his knowledge was infinite and hes a "Renaissance man" hes so fucking smart our king. jack of all trades but a master of drums. he said i know im good and what of it
PAULA.
HELP. HE RMBRS THE STALL: CUBICAL NUMBER 3 š„“ IF I DO RECALL š¤¤
yes russel our king. fuck up his nose 5 more times. probably stunted his growth too. he shrunk after russ gave him a wallop im sure
why dies paula sound like tracer overwatch
also only dated 2d for 2 months before joining the band?
HELP SHE REALLY WAS THE FIRST MURDOC FUCKER: "but when i saw murdoc with his thick greasy hair, green teeth and yellow skin i thought 'oh this is the ine for me!'" "OH HES SUCH A DANDY-" HELP ME IM HQJDHD
sick in the head...like i want to hurt people help girl. shes fucking Crazy. but she rly said damn i didnt hear back from him again š and my purse is gone JSHHD
MURDOC: SHE WAS DEPRESSINGLY UGLY *still fucked her*
NOODLE TIME
"small japanese person!"
2d: we werent gorillaz until noodle arrived!
im dying the reason he chose gorillaz. 'swinging through the jungle baring my ass'
noodle really said "im just happy to be here" and she balanced everyone out š "she gave off pure love and the fact that she could laugh at murdoc REALLY helped too" RUSS... IS BABY
JFC MURDOCS SO FUCKING CONFIDENT IN THIS BAND IM LIVING FOR THAT. HE SAID YOU WANT US SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID. THE CHARISMA
2d rambling ab some girl he met and "ssSs" "whats the s stand for hawhaw" "i dont know!".
THE RECORD LABEL GUY.
one song is all it took i ā¤ good for them
just murdoc talking ab the party that they threw for thier deal and saying "you dont know how much of a dick i felt like [when carrying one of those huge checks]" like oh thats whatll make you a dick? alright.
A FOOD FIGHT THAT WENT SO HARD THAT IT KNOCKED 2DS TONSILS OUT? WHAT THE FUCK
ahshdj damon and murdoc not getting along bc of Rival Band One Uppery + damon calling murdocs cuban heels crap since ge wore steel ones with gold spurs.
MURDOC FEELIN EMBARRASSED BC HES 'QUITE PROUD OF HIS SHOES'
but the band and damon getting over music and their ambitions and became a "paternal figure"
HELP MURDOC SAID AWIOGA @ RACHEL WHICH MADE HER THROW HER DRINK IN HIS FACE AND SPLIT FROM 2D. kinda sad actually, she said i still like 2d but murdoc kinda ruined it by trying to get it in with me, it put a strain in our relationship :/ oh god murdocs That Dude
nov 31 1998: started recording :]
40 tracks that got cut down to 15 holy shit
KONG STUDIOS š¤²
hooking up cameras in every room ejdjsu
webby artist of the year in 2006? holy shit
noodle learning ab kong studios omfg
JFC. YES I KNEW KONG WAS BUILT ON/IN A CEMETERY BUT I DIDNT KNOW PPL FOR THE FUCKING PLAGUE WHERE THROWN THERE HDJD
built in 1739?
the ghost of the first owners ghost still roams around in the kitchen in the early hours and moans 'aaa glass of water'
theres some rotting bullshit near the studios and in the summer its fucking TERRIBLE
the former owners were a biker gang, and they all died in a fire
murdoc said this place has bad vibes. i want it.
grim weather
the building feels impossible to escape from huHgg
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Chit Chat 111620Ā Ā 11-16-20
Chitchat 111620 with Jack Michael Jeremys Chair and the disembodied voice of alfredo (no he left after set up immediately , never heard him) id putĀ ākeep readingā if i knew how for this sorry
Jack: hi im jack with my friends michael and Spearow the dragon (jeremys not here , theres a spyro ā¦ pillow i think on his chair).. So we made the mistake of doing 2 minecrafts backtobackĀ and it ended like 20 minutes ago then like āoh yeah we have other stuff we need to set up beforeāā¦ Michael:Ā yeah this isnt so much a chitchat it is just a chit not really time for a chat. Jack: how about we chit about recapping extralife?Ā It went really well thank you everyone who watched and contributed, trying to get chat up right nowā¦. Cuz we got Chit trying to get the Chat as wellā¦ this is the 4th year in a row we raised over 1 million$ , and were having some auctions for charity. Up for auction: 3D printed gen lock heads , pictures of the Spooky Hour (Gen Notes i thought they were done with that?) , the jon risinger bob ross segment painting , some f*face hats , some wood and glass sculptures (jeremy comes back during around this) ā¦ and gratz to jeremy for urinating and coming back *on time*Ā Jeremy: hey my bathroom is a few steps from hereā¦ that whole time was spent peeing Oooohhhh better. Jack: michael , jeremy got anything to say about whats happened recently. Michael: no uhā¦. Just recoveringā¦ Jeremy: oh that was hard to watch michael. Jack: oh i have this picture i posted on twitter of fiona milking gavinā¦. Spraying milk into his eyes , sounds weird when i phrase it like that see if i can post it. Fiona somehow got both eyes in one shot , none in the mouth (the goal) just eyes. If you don't know the context it looks like hes spraying milk from his head like some kind of anime demonā¦ then the paintballs happenedā¦. Usually with paintballs theyve been going a while and theyve calmed down , that time it was new compressors and we JUST started using them for michael and gavin (Michael: ātheyā as in the paintballs themselves , theyve calmed down) yeah so that time they still had a lot of OOMPF and it was like getting kicked in the head over and over. Michael: no that's good , kick me in the head all you want. I went second just so i could tell how bad it hurt , so i knew where to hit gavin to make it hurt the mostā¦ immediately flipped on it like āhe doesnt deserve thisā and shot the face (which hurt the least) as much to spare himā¦ i did do a few tummy shots but still. Jack: the crotch was also a good spot cuz of the cockblockerā¦ problem is if you missed they go left or right into your thigh Michael: the thigh and stomach hurt the most ā¦ our thighs are black Jeremy: were also doing the vinylĀ Jack: oh yeah we reached our goal and putting AH the musical on a vinyl , plus a new song with Fiona ive been working with her trying to get the tone and everything (Gen notes im gonna guess its there so Still in the Air isntā¦) ā¦ Jeremy wanna say what you offered up? Jeremy: yeah were doing the AH rap version 2 (Gen notes either A. a version with the rest ofĀ āThe B Teamā to have verses , or B. redoing it without HIM) , been working on a beat for it ā¦ ive written one verse mine so far (Gen notes , think its option B then) but i feel like its a little TOO mean so i may dial it back down a bit ā¦ the plan is shorter verses but more people , so hopefully Myself , michael gavin , Jack , Fiona , the twins , Matt , Lindsay and MAYBE a verse where theĀ support room jump in one bar at a time , still in the works. Jack: yeah you guys DEMOLISHED goals, chads daughter she is so sweetā¦ she saved up chore money and wanted to donate it all of her own , she wasn't convinced to she just wanted to donate 20$ which just broke everyone - well chad and i , caiti held it together, so we asked the audience to match her 20$...Ā over the course of 10 minutes that 20$ became 65000$... we broke extralife we legit broke their intake of donations. We also had 2 people there who if we needed to hand something to someone wed give it to them , theyd ābaptizeā it as covid precaution then give it to whoever. Michael: except cloth they were like āyou touch cloth you own itā ā¦ was like i could walk away with a lot of things right here , this towel? This towels done (Jack: you just going around grabbing curtains) ā¦ (start paraphrasing)Ā we always want extralife to be like the best show ever cuz its for a good cause , but then this year we were like āhow would we even pull it offā... i don't think 2020 extralife couldve gone better given everything (end paraphrasing) āfave extralife 2020 momentā Jack: my thingā¦ Chad James is a freaking beast and towards the end the last segment we did was called the sweet and sour hour where caiti would do something nice and chad would get punished ā¦ it ended up getting stacked so we started doing some at once. At one point Chad is on the pummelhorse which is an elastic band that hits you in the undercarriage , chelsea was there with a leg wax remover , then we had cody from code 4 which is our compliance officer with hand sanitizer. So Blaine pummelhorses chad , chelsea leg waxes him and then cody sprays him with the antiseptic (michael: in his eyesā¦ Gen Notes i mean hes probably kidding but idk it seems possible) ā¦ chads on the pummelhorse weeping and Blaines ALREADY spinning the wheel. Michael: its funny , theres so much stuff that happened and not just the segments i was there for , but a simple delight getting chad to eat that whole pickle ā¦ he was just saying āi cant do it ill throw upā and i just kept repeating āyouu can dooooo iit...ā... gave me some enjoyment since i was there basically to get slapped around , but in between i made chad eat a pickle Jack: so jeremy you have a fave moment? I know you were there for the solo stream section - oh i forgot about DJ JAAWNK how could i that was a blast Jeremy: yeah i was listening to most of the solo streamer section , i know Kdin had a thing where she gathered a bunch of people to do among us and it was funā¦. For a certain donation amount they would just launch john mace into space , theyd just call a meeting and get himā¦ Matt joined me playing spyro and i had the Gold Chonky spyro mods on , and if people donated enough wed spin a wheel that me or him would have to do.. We had to spin it like 15 times , and alot of them were āhave to hold the controller upsidedownā which is a monstrosityā¦ and twice it was me put a blindfold on and matt would have to direct me through the level. I panicked A LOT cuz you could HEAR the enemies shooting at and coming at you Ā but i didn't know where ā¦ it was like a live Matt and Jeremy do something - your welcome sarah! (Michael: you did do somethingā¦ Spearowā¦ Spearowmint gum)Ā so first were doing SPiderman Miles Morales PS4 edition cuz i don't have a PS5! Everyones talking about how they're sold out so the most ive done was when i was shopping for ovens i was like ālemme peruse the playstation aisleā didn't see one and went guess im not getting oneā¦ Jack: are they even selling them in person or is it just onlineā¦ Michael: i know game stop is selling them , they're sold out but i know they were selling them.... Think most stores waiting for black friday to get them in storeā¦ i want one but im not going to a store on black friday , ill play fall guys if i want to get trampled Jack: oh yeah someone mentioned the ChungeScwa heist is coming we reached that goal Michael: fiona said i could be there, i asked can i help and she said something like āplz help , cuz otherwise it wont happen.ā ive also offered doing a 50 turn mario party even though it wasn't a goal cuz we didn't even do last years so now wed owe 2 for 2021 assuming we can make that happen. Jack: cant you do a 100 turn mario party is that a thing? Michael: no 50 is the most , ive contemplated maybe we combine them into one game and scores carry over but it might be upsetting if im ahead by 9 stars after 50 turns and then it just becomes a 4 hour victory lap so its probably better to do 2 of themā¦ we were about to do one in april we were planning on shooting it in april but then SOMETHING came up idk what it was ā¦ it just kept coming up for 7 monthsā¦ Jeremy: and they don't stop coming and they don't stop comingā¦ oh if were going to show my PS4 screen lemme show how much aĀ loser i amā¦. Jack: you got a platinum in bug snax?!?!? Jeremy: yuuuppppp!!!
#gen notes#for later#text#backed up#chit chat#AH#achievement hunter#jeremy dooley#ah jeremy#index#my post#november 2020#idk what else to tag#keep reading#well would if could#chitchat
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Hi, I really donāt mean to bother you and I apologize for the intrusion. I was just recently diagnosed with ms and donāt know what the best treatment options are. Iām honestly scared of all of them and was wondering if you have a preference or any advice
Oh my word, it is absolutely NOT a bother or an intrusion!! Iām out here on the internet telling the world at large about my issues, and knowing that someone is listening is so very far from a bother or an intrusion. It honestly helps. Iām just sorry itās taken me so long to respond.Ā
I completely understand how you are feeling, itās a scary time, and it can be daunting trying to figure out what to do and where to start and just remembering how to BREATHE under the weight of all of it can be overwhelming. Iām sorry that you are going through this, but there are some really good resources out there, depending on what your situation is, and where you are located. (I think I about lived on the National MS Society webpage when I was first diagnosed. And I watched SO. MANY. YouTube videos. So many.)
I am happy to give you my experience with the disease modifying therapy that Iām on, but I want to just make sure that Iām clear that 1. Iām not a medical professional, and also, 2. Iāve only ever actually been on ONE therapy, so my experiences are limited in that regard. Okay, now that weāve got the (probably completely unnecessary disclaimers out of the way), onto the actual response. (Itās LONG so itās under a cut.)
I have relapse-remitting MS, and the therapy that I am on is Avonex, which is an Interferon beta-1a treatment. I use the auto-injection pen, as opposed to a pre-filled syringe. Itās a once a week intramuscular (IM) injection that I can do at home. This is something that fits my lifestyle better than:
Going to an out-patient center for a once-a month IV infusion
Conducting a Subcutaneous injection three times a weekĀ
Taking a daily oral pillĀ
Iāve learned that I can trust myself to do a weekly injection by setting a weekly timer for it, and working it into my routine. I schedule my injections for Saturday nights right before bed, and clear my morning on Sundays to deal with side-effects that pop up. I have a pretty packed/sporadic schedule, and I donāt think that I would have much luck keeping to a 3x a week injection routine, or taking a daily pill. And I FOR SURE donāt want to be locked into having to go to a center to get an infusion, even if itās only once a month.
The actual injection process is pretty easy. You just have to prep your injection site (I use my thighs, alternating legs/locations every week), put the needle on the pen (which is pretty foolproof), place the pen against the injection site location, then depress the button on the pen to insert the needle into the injection site, and wait while the medicine injects itself (I count to 20 to wait it out). The medicine pack comes with everything you need for the injection: alcohol wipes, gauze pads, and bandaids, so you have those at the ready every time.Ā
Iāve been on it for 3.5 years, and during that time Iāve had one pseudo-exacerbation (caused by my exposing myself to high temps when I knew better) and am now in the middle of my first genuine flare since I started the medicine. To me this SEEMS like a good amount of time to have gone without a full flare, but as I mentioned, I havenāt ever been on any other therapy, so I have no idea if another one would have kept the flares at bay for even longer.Ā
Another āproā that I would list for this medicine, probably shouldnāt even NEED to be listed as a pro, but seeing as how I live in the healthcare dystopia that is America, it IS for me, is that while my insurance carrier FOR SOME REASON thinks that I should pay $1000/month for this medicine, the manufacturer of the medicine itself WAIVES that fee for me every month, so I actually donāt have to pay anything for my treatment (beyond my insurance premiums of course).Ā
Now THAT all said, there are some cons and some caveats.Ā
So my caveat is that when I started treatment, there werenāt any daily oral pills approved for use. I may have opted to try that FIRST if that had been available at the time, but since they werenāt, I didnāt. And since I had been doing well on my injection treatment when the oral pills became available, neither my doctor nor I thought that it was advisable to switch just because. This is something that could change in short order, as I am currently in the middle of a flare, and while I donāt suspect that my doctor is going to recommend a change of treatment when itās over, it is possible that he COULD.Ā
Now onto the cons:
The medicine needs to be kept refrigerated, so you need to plan for that if you travel. Luckily, itās only a once a week treatment, so unless you are away from home for long periods of time, itās not too difficult to address. (I own a couple of the same medicine travel coolers that diabetics use for insulin transport, as they work well for this purpose.)
Injection site pain is a thing. Itās not a constant thing, but it DOES crop up every so often. For me itās typically just a sore muscle in the area of the injection, sometimes with mild bruising. (Iāve always bruised easily, and thatās only gotten worse in recent years.) Sometimes this lingers for long enough that I have to skip injecting one leg for a couple of weeks until it clears up. (Again, I bruise easy, and it's not comfortable injecting into a bruise, so I just donāt.)
What I call āmorning afterā side effects. The medicine lists āflu-likeā symptoms as being possible for ~6 months after starting the treatment while your body adapts. That was 100% a thing for me. I was able to mitigate that a bit by taking ibuprofen (and sometimes benadryl) immediately after giving myself the injection before going to sleep. But the thing that DIDNāT get mentioned a lot was that even after that 6 months is over and the majority of āflu-likeā symptoms cleared up, you might still have morning after issues in the form of much milder āflu-likeā symptoms. For me, this translates into whole-body aches. TYPICALLY, they are cleared up by around 10 or 11 am the morning after. BUT, sometimes they linger all day as just a general dull-ache feeling. My doctor explained that this is because the weekly injection is a concentrated dose of medicine, and it takes the body some time to process it. And beyond taking pain relievers (which I do) thereās not much to be done. It can be exhausting, and so I TRY to avoid scheduling things on Sunday when possible. Iād say that I deal with all-day lingering aches/fatigue following injection about once a month. Though Iām slow to get going EVERY week following injection. (So 10 am start to my day instead of 8 am.)
Because I havenāt been on any of the other therapies out there, I donāt know how these side-effects compare, so I donāt know if these are better or worse. My doctor seems to think that my reported side-effects are pretty typical for this type of treatment though, and doesnāt think itās cause to change treatments unless I feel like they are interfering with my life. Iāve adapted well enough to them (and honestly, itās not a hardship to tell EVERYONE that I canāt commit to doing things at least one day a week :-P)
So thatās my response on my treatment experience. Iād say that the best thing you can do is to find a Neurologist that you trust and that you have a good rapport with, so that they can help guide you through the process and assist you in making changes as necessary.
I wish you all the luck in the world, and please feel free to come chat whenever. I may be slow to respond, but I will RESPOND at some point!! *HUGS*
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Now here's an all new theory for where the procrastination comes from
Like the uni councilors thought of like generic selfhate insecurity or like spineless ppl pleasing (nope an anime cured me of that when I was 13 - thst sounded more like what that ladys own problems might be), fear or failure & wanting to spite my father, eveb that getting ahead through "talent" was an unfair advantage bad tainted and evil, or that "talent" meant being beholden and controlled by others (definitely somewhat right - we worked on that, it helped, the second guy was defs much much more helpful & compatible cause he focussed a lot more on strategies than wannabe-maternal pep talks) but there was always something else there that wasnt getting touched
In tje end I dont think I have talent and in any case what really matters is attitude toward "living the examined life" for example whst you do. What you notice.
Now I did notice that things get harder to do precisely because I actually want them(whereas a lot of ppl get distracted from stuff because they dont really want it) - at the same time I can totally function or pick up new habits in day to day life its not like I have some "hardware problem" like, say, ADHD or the like.
Like of course its some emotional knot it couldnt be anything else but I feel they didnt identify what kind of knot? Certainly not that first lady. If im trying to get clarity and you give me reassuring pep talks you just freak me out more for the love of god tell me whats happening. Nothing worse when a Doctor says "it will be over soon" rather than explain the procedure
Fear of/ distraction from wanting itself never really occured to me thats not a common stereotypical fear that ppl talk about.
Let me get this straight I never thought I was better than anyone I knew very well that I'm not. I thought of both those things as ways not to get bullied, maybe get somewhere where I feel that im in the right place.
If I look back at really breaking experiences it was times I really really wanted something and then I couldnt do it or some outside party stepped on my fingers. That Tori Amos Music Video where she escapes from a psycho killer's trunk and then the passerby's dont help her? That was my most favorite music video in the world for years maybe still is.
Like I was told I could maybe skip third grade and I poured all my energy and passion and strenght into that everything I had to do well, make friends with the new class i was so highly motivated I aced all the exams I felt so happy & fulfilled just being in thst flow state all the time... i wanted this more than anything. Maybe it was the first time I really wanted something beyond vague dreams or base desires. But the homeroom teacher hated my guts and put the kibosh on that; Probably because I was unwittingly repeating some of the artogant classist shit my father spouts without realizing how hurtful it is. my parents thought it wasnt worth going to the higher ups for that but having to essentially redo 4th grade in a crap school in the different town we moved to was one of the worst times of my life. Also I didnt find out that the teacher had hated me/acted in a petty way until years after I thought I just failed. That there was a possible place I could have belonged but turns out I really belong nowhere after all.
All my effort was for nothing. It was such a joy - i mean these days even getting code to work or solving math problems has that same joy - but all that effort and joy and wanting did was that... im tearing up and searching for the words to even process this tbh. I think I denied that joy, told myself that I was just a stupud kid thinking I was a special snowflake. It didnt even matter.
Rather than insist on staying up late to make sure my homework was done I just stopped caring and hardly did another piece of homework in my life just faking it on the spot or coasting through. It could have gone another way maybe if it werent for the bullies and my father the chief bully or if only I was more determined but it was like "okay I dont care anymore I just dont care" and I think thats stayed my default response to dissapointment to this day.
This TV show didnt turn out like I wanted? I dont care its just a tv show.
My father treated be with hatred all my life? Its okay I dont care about him and I dont want his love anyway.
Like there were other times when I thought I could be happy.
Like I really wanted to go to this boarding school for gifted kids. Again I thought maybe incorrectly that this would be a place where I can belong and not be bullied it was never about being better than anyone.
Again I wanted it I clamored and cried and made noise nonstop. Maybe I still hadnt wholly lost contact with willpower back then. I still thought of myself as strong willed.
And my father made me regret it. It was around the same time that mom briefly considered divorce maybe I was just the stress valve. Or he took it personally as wanting to get away from him. Duh he abused me of course I wanted away from him. He was such a suffocating control freak! Mom said yes first then he spoke to her and suddenly she followed everything he said. Thats when I really realized how emotionally manipulative was how abusive... i mean one of my first conscious memories of him is thinking "oh crap I will be just like cinderella" but he really laid it on so thick so transparently even a 10 year old could tell its manipulation. If you do this you dont love your mom. If you do this you dont love your siblings. If you dont obey me your mom will kill herself. No she wont you jerk even my 2 year old self could tell youre abusive.
The most cruel thing he did was briefly say yes. Again I got so happy. So invested. Just bending all I was towards that even though he bombarded me with abuse and mental torture.
And then on the day we were supposed to leave he said no youre not going.
Maybe I actually did say I didnt want to go because of one time he was doing this constant scientology type torture on me
That same reaction: "I dont want it I dont want anything so please please let me be"
Ppl think of bad childhoods as a game that you win if yoz turn 18 -or 28 maybe - without killing yourself. But its not. Every year you live it can take away from your potential. Every day less than you have to live it
He sure didnt let me have sucess with his overcontrol and abuse. Anything I was proud of he rules. When I graduated from school with a fairly good but not perfevt final score he humiliated me. When I turned 18 he humiliated me. Everything I did was a burden even just feeding and washing me. Hed give me unwanted white elephant gifts then bitch about how giving them to me ruined his life cause he had to work so muxh "Ingrate Ingrate Ingrate" Butch I never asked for anything I want nothing!
But as I had to eat I did in fact have to ask things of him and I hated it so much.
No wonder that I turned out afraid of wanting things eh?
Hed seen some poster when we went to see tje school I wanted to go to - not by the school by an individual student - about the history of abortion portrayed in a positive way or at least that was his official reason why I couldnt go. Again I had wanted something badly with all my being and again all my being availed nothing. Irrelevant like I didnt exist. All my screaming gone unheard.
And this is so silly cause im not a child anymore I have control and if I were to stop procrastinating I could have money and gave even more control.
I havent even spoken to him in years now hes no longer relevant. Its not about him its about thus bad pattern I picked up.
I like how this books handles it with the idea that certain experiences dont create the type but that it nakes you uniquely suceotible to certain kinds of hurt or certain misunderstandings.
Because with all this discourse about bad message free media ive really come to think that while it can and should be minimized its not possible to eradicate cause human mibds are so quicl so fallible to extract overgeneralizations and make it mean something abput themselves
Like an immature statistical learning model easily overtrained by noisy data.
Another time I was nearly happy was when I started looking for work, doing my thesis...
Same pattern I was engaged, happy to be engaged talking to ppl at both work and in the uni work group loving it all so much...
my life had started to feel meaningful again. And it had gotten to that point in part because of my ex-fiance. Yes the councelling heloed taking up meditation helped, getting high on morning glory that one time helped a whole lot got more self esteem from that than I ever got from my father.
But that all started because of my ex fiance.
He was an i tellectual type and he had a sense of purpose about him like hes a legendary character and everyone around him became legendary too. And he found me useful! Others had called me "walking dictionary" with mockery and scorn he called me his google and it meant love and admiration. Maybe I got a bit of an ego trip off of tjat but I also really stupidly dumbtastically loved him I bragged of him to anyobe who listened everything he did seemed fascinating abd interesting and meaningful, but also I just loved the sweet gentle warmth of being next to him in the morning. Once again I was happy and everything was joyful even when it was hard, I felt strong and meaningful and useful and I let myself openly want things.
And then it all blew up. Worse yet i was so mistaken abozt him it really shook my confidence in my own judgement or any sense of clarity. I was si confused during the fucking breakup like I hadnt been since I left my father's house.
Google hah! More like his personal Alexa! It turns out he didnt respect or like me at all.
I couldnt even be sad or angry cause it was all my mistake. The one feeling I allowed - and even that took me weeks to identify - is dissapointment. Heavy leaden dissapointment i didnt even kniw that was a feeling you could feel so strongly. I didnt even do anything wrong you have to open yourself to have love. He could habe choosen to love me he just simply didnt. He probably thought he did but he wouldnt evebn do something as simple as not make fun of my voice or clean when I am sick.
Once he started putting me in the "wife" role he just became unable to see me. His loss really cause I think he wanted to keep me from all those annoying texts and email he had the nerve to write.
By all means I was right to trust but also right to leave later but still my sense of certainty and purpose and meaning was totally shaken. He did the sort of romantic stuff I didnt think was real. I knew I loved him when we had this conversation about water on mars. He got me the perfect books for my birthday! He said I was pretty and a genius and looked just like an actress. He got me this titanic esque heart pendant with stars. We were stuck at midnight in a train station that one time and he pulled out a picnic rug two plastic glasses and a shampain bottle. It never worked out but he said he might take me to see the LHC! I really thought we would be buried in the same hole folks!. He had read that same steven Hawkings book that I loved. One of the rather few books he actually read as I would find. Sigh.
And I fell right back into that same old pattern. Dont care about anything dont want anything it would be stuoid unrealistic and silly to want.
When I first came to uni I also had this feeling of hapiness and belongingness and wanting, I was putting in an effort, talking to ppl more.. and when things went wrong the slightest bit I pulled by hand back from that like from an open flame.
And here I am years later most the sucess or contact I get is comments on my fanfictions.
I thought I was doing that, or drawing, because its Stakes/Evaluation-free (going by the fear of failure theory) or because at least with the ffs gratification/payoff for effort is immediate compared to original stuff or uni work. Its a nice little niche at least.
I mean I do care about it its not "just" distraction but maybe ive been profaning it in that way... and so etimes I dont even do that and go for full unadulterated undebatable distraction; Line to 7 I guess. Tje only reason I spoke face to face to anyone else than the delivery guy this week is that I had some doctors appointments.
But not its distraction from stuff Im too lazy to do or even from pressure like I always thought. But from wanting things.
So the original fiction went great while it was a distraction from school not so much when its one of the things I most want and actually have the time to do it.
Even thought thats the most practiced skill I have that I never stopped working on since I was 10. š¤¦āāļø
I mean they already explained that its basically like meditation. Or weeds. Or popup ads. Youve got to click them away as they pop up.
I always told myself thst I didnt have to be happy... and thats not even untrue actually but it would sure be neat to be happy again one of these days.
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okay now that issue 6 is out and ive read the thing like 3 times, im gonna do my full review/breakdown of the zed comic and allll my thoughts on it.
no screenshots bc i dont want this to be longer than it is already, and also im not gonna talk about the art itself either. this is simply about the characters, the story, and how that relates to the lore of league itself.
all of this is my opinion, you can agree or disagree with me whatever, yadda yadda lets begin
ISSUE ONE
Probably the best one? In my opinion. The lack of expectations really helped this one not suck. Also the most consistent when it comes to characters personalities, comparing them to the in-game voice lines from league and the card game.
There are scenes in issue 1 that almost foreshadow, or at least reference, the events of Issue 6, specifically Zed looking up to the statue of Kusho, and how Zed kills Althon vs how Zed kills Kusho later on.
The dialogue between Shen and Akali is.. a little clunky? Shenās dialogue is just a little. formal. but to the point that he sounds like heās lecturing a stranger, not talking to a former student.
Jhin giving Zed his scalpel from 19 years ago is a neat detail that I wish they used more in the story. Sure, we can assume now that Jhin probably only got it because Kusho gave it to him at some point after releasing him- which means that the scalpel is one of the many wasted plot opportunities Iāll bring up here. Part of the appeal of that scene, if only just for me, was the idea that Jhin stole it from Zed while he wasnāt looking. I remember people pointing out background characters and being likeĀ ābut what if thatās Jhin there! what if he was there all along!!āĀ But that has now been thrown out the window.
A thing I wish they did was shown more of JhināsĀ āperformancesā, even if only in a montage. To show more of the impact this had on Zed and Shen, the strain it put on them mentally and emotionally, and how it affected their relationship. But I understand time and probably page restraints. So whatever about that.
Again, I think this was the best one. Set up the story well, showed why everything happening is important for the character. Neat, cool. Letās move on
ISSUE 2
Seeing the bodies was pretty fucked up, but tbh? That shit vibed. Itās one of those things I hoped they were gonna do and they did. The bodies looking like porcelain with gold blood?? And the peacock feathers???? Thats fuckin cool as hell.Ā Then they never did it again.
In the flashback comes one of the worst fucking things in this comic. Yevnai.
Listen I adore Yevnai as a character, one of my favourites to come from the comic. You know, in the ONE ISSUE SHE ACTUALLY SHOWS UP IN????? She shows up as simply conflict between Shen and Zed (which never actually comes up mind you), as bait for Jhin, and for? Zed to show that he can sense magic from her kids to show that sheās been cheating on her husband with Quno the vastayan servant (bc we know Zed hates vastaya i guess?). oh and Guess What? the sensing magic thing also doesnāt show up again.Ā
Oh and Jhin follows Zed to Yevnaiās place. But nothing happens from that.
Issue 2 was good, but just a total waste imo. A lot of plot points set up only to never happen again. Best things about it were dead bodies, Jhinās tiny Zed and Shen puppets, and the knowledge that Shen still writes letters to Yevnai :ā(
ISSUE 3
I got so fucking pissed when this issue came out, no shit. They took the events of The Man With The Steel Cane and just. Threw it out the window. I did a whole other post about my issues with it so I wonāt just rewrite the same shit twice. But I had to actually stop reading and pace angrily for a bit. I HATE issue 3 bro.
The scene with Kusho :) . Good to know that was now a waste of misdirection because EVERYONE seemed to call that Kusho was still alive. What bullshit. But Iāll get to that.
The inconsistencies in character really show in this one. And that connects to it being a shitty rewrite of The Man With The Steel Cane. They probably wanted a fight between Shen and Zed by this point, being halfway through the comic, and just shoved it in there. Doesnāt mean Iām not mad about it.
Akali and Kaynās dialogue was probably the best thing in the entire issue. I donāt vibe with Akali/Kayn as a ship personally, but it got a giggle out of me im ngl.
Akali attacking Zed. I guess yeah sure she would. Fits her wholeĀ āfuck you i wont do what you tell me shenā vibe. But SHEN? calling off the armistice between the yĆ”nlĆ©i and kinkou due to the actions of one of HIS ex-students?? Shen would never. Letās add another point to theĀ āThis Is Really Out Of Characterā board!
The sworn and witnessed scene was nice, itās what Kayn deserves. Finally knowing the Kashuri Faction was nice, too bad they never get fucking mentioned ever again I guess.
Thereās so many references to The Man With The Steel Cane that they couldāve implimented so much better, especially dialogue. I canāt read the original story without feeling cheated out of what it was before Issue 3. So more wasted potential I guess.
Issue 4
This was a big step up from Issues 2-3. My personal favourite, but not the best (if that makes sense). But there isnāt too much to talk about here? Jhin sets off his bombs from the last issue, it looks cool, but thereās no real story to talk about here. There is a lot of character stuff to talk about though.
Zed choosing to save Shen over getting Jhin is fucking HUGE for Zed as a character. For a character so hellbent on vengence throughout the entire thing choosing instead to save his "hated enemy and closest friendā ?? im sobbing.
This whole comic was emotional as hell, and the most character development we ever fucking saw in this thing. From Zedās daddy issues to the realisation that Zedās shadows are shades of Jhin and Kusho (which is now fucking hilarious and makes no sense after Issue 6).
There was a lot of setup for plotpoints that actually did show up later for once, like Kayn being the temporary leader and all that jazz. What it had in emotion, it seemed to lack in real story progression until the end.Ā
Issue 5
This issue was weird for me. Like there was a lot of plot and a lot of character shit that seemed so condensed that it felt like nothing. Zedās confession in the cell-wagon and the information that Shen was out fighting Noxians too? Alright, sure okay.Ā
Shen still seems wildly out of character for me, since we mostly know him as this beacon of peace and calm- heās so violent towards Zed all the time itās strange. Like he points a sword at Zed while saying that he isnāt allowed to kill Jhin, wtf
The callback to Awaken is fucking superb. Really solidifies that video into the lore of the game. Camille being mentioned had me like :hearteyes: This is a nitpick- but I wish we knew what happened at the end of Awaken. Is Camille okay? Did Jhin get injured? It was a week ago, if he did get injured- where and how did he recover so fast? Little detailsĀ that I wanna know, not really for any real story purposes.
Rhaast finally showing up :hearteyes:, nothing else to add bc nothing else happened with him.
Jhin making the most of Piltoven technology is really cool, and its a scene that made me goĀ āOH YEAH he was a stagehand for a good period of time!!āĀ Thatās what we call Tying In Pre-Existing Lore fellas.
Jhin just really shined in this issue. Really set him up to be The Big Bad of the comic, like he had a monologue and everything! Once again, though, that gets absolutely wasted by Issue 6.
Issue 6
Where do I fucking start?
Letās start with Jhin. I donāt know about yall, but since we spent a solid 5 issues chasing after him I expected more of a dramatic fight. More like the explosions in Issue 4. But uh we got. Some fancy prop work before he got punched in the face twice and thrown on the ground. Itās What He Deserves but like you know, he deserved worse.
As much as I didnāt want it to happen, Iām disappointed they didnāt unmask him at all. His mask was still fucking pristine by the end of the fight!! Not a scratch, not a chip!! But to be fair I think we got maybe 2 pages worth of a physical fight with Jhin so,, sure. Whatever. Out goes 5 issues of setting up? Not to downplay the conflict in that scene of course, I think it was pretty cool. It was just so anticlimactic at the end like wh-
Kusho! Haha they got us good!! The dead dude is actually still alive oooo~ [heavy sarcasm]. Why. It wasnāt a good twist! It was aĀ āoh. okay yeah sureā twist. This might be my heat of the moment response but I have no words for how cheap and absolutely horseshit that twist is. Good thing we only have to think about it for 10 pages because HE FUCKING DIES AGAIN.Ā WHAT A WASTE!!
Whatever, whatever, thinking about it makes me so mad because they set it up barely in Issue 5? Iām just tired this actually drained me irl.
At least we have baby Kayn and good dad Zed at the end to cleanse us of that.
HEY actually did you know that they thought that Good Dad Zed was considered contoversial by Marvelās editors?? HUH????
whatever, whatever. iām pissed.Ā
BONUS SHIT
So Jhinās lore has now had an update to connect with the comic. And itās fucking weird. Now suddenly Kusho didnāt care about catching Jhin after he found out it was just a human person murdering people? And that it was essentially Not Their Job anymore??? excuse me??
CONCLUSION?
This comic started with a good beginning and a lot of potential. It brought up so many new theories and so many new headcanons. But all that potential and all that interesting story got washed away with unconnected plot points,Ā āimportantā characters that show up once, and a cheap twist ending that simultaneously came out of nowhere and was easily predicted (in the bad way). It was a fun read for a while, but the ending has soured the experience I had reading it.
Some issues may come from time + page constraints, and the limitations of the medium. But those were mostly minor issues. I wanna give the artists and the writers the benefit of the doubt, maybe blame Marvel as I like to do. But...
6 months worth of waiting for an ending like this? Iām just disappointed.
#this is really fucking long im so sorry#if you enjoyed the comic- good for you. im glad you had fun. i really truely am.#i was so excited for this series.. i feel almost cheated#long post#zed comic#zed spoilers#jhin reads league
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This Weekās Playlist (2/14)
Not sure how I got hooked on this idea- but this week Iāll be focusing entirely on 70s songs (and next week Iāll do 80s). Disclaimer: Iām not saying these are my favorite songs of the 70s (believe me that would be WAYYY too hard to narrow down), Iām just filling this weekās list strictly with songs released in the 70s.
Iāve also created a spotify playlist made up of all the songs Iāve used on playlists! Iāll update it every week (before I even post the playlist, so if you check at the right time the songs will be there!)
1.) London Calling- The Clash (1979) I like to define this song as the song that started my descent into classic rock. When I was in 7th grade I had this music teacher who would always play pop music of the late 20th century for class. This song was one of the first songs she showed us, and it became a trademark of the class. We used to get this song played at dances and stuff- so thereās a lot of middle school memory there. Guess we all wanted to be punks- and this is a great boppy song just for that.
2.) All Right Now- Free (1970) Am I being typical for picking this song...? Perhaps (because honestly, at least where Iām from, this is the only Free song anyone knows... yikes. Itās overused in media sometimes imo). But that doesnāt meant itās not great! Itās got everything! An epic guitar riff that frames the lyrics, a sick beat, funny rhymes, a killer musical interlude with bangin piano and a guitar solo- all while being undeniably CHILL. This one of those chill summer songs to me; the kind you listen to on a hot, quiet, and sunny car ride through the country with the windows down while wearing sunglasses. Thatās just the aesthetic Iāve always associated with this song.
3.) Rockān Me- Steve Miller Band (1976) Just try not to bop. I dare you. This is a real dance-a-little-in-your-seat song with a GREAT, smooth flow to it. Killer rhymes and a fast, subtle beat you canāt avoid even if you try. Steve Miller Band is one of my favorite groups of the 70s and I wish they got more appreciation in general. I couldāve picked so many of their songs already for these playlists, but this one stood out to me this week because I feel like itās very recognizable (I always heard this song as a kid and I feel like maybe some people on here did too). Itās so damn catchy that itāll just stick with you, so listen and get ready for an earworm. Also a great road trip song.
4.) Once Bitten, Twice Shy- Ian Hunter (1975) No, this isnāt Great White!! This is the song we all know and love but this oneās the original! I feel like I need to educate anyone whoāll listen about this! *scoff* god, now I can see why Joe Elliottās always shoving Ian Hunter in everyoneās faces- because heās worth it! Maybe Iām a little biased, but I personally prefer this version over Great Whiteās for a bunch of different reasons. For one thing, I think this version focuses more on telling the story rather than trying to make the music over the top. The instrumentals of this one ROCK, but the way itās constructed with the lyrics makes the story more understandable- essentially, itās just more raw, and I like the raw sound to it, but thatās just me. You all probably know how the song goes at this point, but after listening to this version youāll see just how much of it Great White changed. You take it upon yourself to decipher the meaning of the lyricsĀ ( Ķ”Ā° ĶŹ Ķ”Ā°) I think we all know whatĀ ārock and rollā means at this point...
5.) Lovinā, Touchinā, Squeezinā- Journey (1979) I donāt like to acknowledge Valentineās Day, nor was I going to mention it in any way on this playlist- but let me tell you a story: last year on VD, I was driving home from school, and this song came on the radio. Then it hit me- I had completely forgotten about ANTI-Valentineās Day songs! This is a PERFECT example of one. It tells of an unfaithful someone who gets bitten in the ass by someone elseās unfaithfulness. Talk about a SICK burn! This has gotta be my favorite Journey song as well. Itās like a flash-fiction song; telling a huge story while barely saying anything at all. My favorite part of this song by far is how each instrument has a crystal clear part, and you can very easily pick out each one. The intro of this song is just excellent. You can clearly hear the bass, drums, guitars, and piano all introduced in different ways. Itās just a gorgeous song through and through, and those 189Ā ānaās at the end just tie it all together (and yes, I counted). Youāll have all the words down before you know it.
6.) Youāre All Iāve Got Tonight- The Cars (1978) Like I said last week, The Cars are one of the perfect combos of rock and pop. If you think about it, this one can be another anti-Valentineās Day song. The lyrics have a sloppy and desperate feel to them- kinda like the speaker is drunk and throwing themselves at someone because theyāre that desperate.Ā āI donāt care if you hurt me some more, I donāt care if you even the scoreā- like oof man, you just sound desperate. This song is a banger in every way and letās face it- the keyboard at the chorus is just the absolute best part. Strong points for these guys are always keyboards and guitars. Itās got this rock hard chill 80s vibe to it (despite it being a 70s song- new wave, you know), youāll feel that you need to be doing something cool while listening to it.
7.) Rock and Roll- Led Zeppelin (1971) Itās so cliche of me to use this I know I know I KNOW- but can you blame me? On Sunday in a record booth at the market I found an original Zeppelin IV and I feel like this song has been following me all week because of it. This is unarguably one the most recognizable and famous rock songs of all time- because it was so expertly crafted in every way imaginable- just like everything else Zeppelinās ever done. Itās ALWAYS the drums that do it for me in this song. l That filler at the end is- without question- the best part of the whole song. Bonzo just KILLS it.Ā Overall, itās a short-ish song that uses its time extremely well; itās like all four of them wentĀ āletās maximize every single element that goes into a bop, and make a song like thatā. In some ways, this song is objectively perfect. If you want pure rock and roll in all its glory- what better song to choose than Rock and Roll itself?
8.) Keep Yourself Alive- Queen (1973) Another objectively perfect rock and roll song with a killer drum solo. Iām super biased towards Queen- but I cannot believe I never heard of this song until I was prepping my brain to see Bohemian Rhapsody! Honestly, who thinks itās okay to keep this hidden? Itās the leading song off of their very first album- so this is almost like the song that INVENTED Queen fans! Itās a Brian May baby- and hell yeah does it show. I think everyone needs to know this song for artistic and historical reasons. Itās pure, power rock Queen through and through- despite being one of the earliest of their songs.
9.) Cum On Feel the Noize- Slade (1973) NO, itās not Quiet Riot!!Ā This is the song we all know and love but this oneās the original!!Ā Again, I feel like I need to educate anyone whoāll listen about this! I get so angry sometimes that Quiet Riot gets all the credit for songs like this one and Mama Weer All Crazee now. Slade was super popular in England in the 70s- ahead of their time for sure but definitely one with the glam rock movement- but not as big in America. I never knew these guys existed until about five years ago and damn I felt like I had to be blind before learning that. Just listen to this song and then I think the sound of itāll make a lot more sense, likeĀ āoh yeah- Quiet Riotās version kinda DOES sound like it could be a glam rock song from the early 70s!ā Just goes to show what geniuses these guys were, because their songs can be both glam rock AND heavy metal and work either way. Once you hear this version, though, I believe thereās no going back.
10.) Roll With the Changes- REO Speedwagon (1978) This was my favorite song for a few months when I was 16- itās absolutely EPIC. The speaker is bursting at the seams with accepting a new found moral understanding of how they feel about trying to please or win over an apparent lover. They come to the conclusion that the other person just needs to keep onĀ ārolling with the changesā and that theyāll be there for them whenever they decide to accept that perspective. The KEYBOARD is to D I EĀ F O R GUYS. Neal Doughty is a motherfucking SAINT- and SO IS GARY RICHRATH. This song sounds like itās the finale of a musical or something! Possibly the biggest bop REO has ever created. Itās a groovy, extremely poetic, fast, theatrical, very slightly operatic rock and roll song and Iād highly recommend this to any person on the planet I love it that much. Itās lovable in every possible way.
#the clash#free#steve miller band#ian hunter#journey#the cars#led zeppelin#queen#slade#reo speedwagon#weekly playlists#raydio gaga
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