#though i would want to rewatch the whole film a thousand times

[psychokatrixxxy]

Okay, the opening for Deadpool and Wolverine has to be my favourite opening to a movie ever. The contrast between a song about the end of a relationship, Deadpool dancing, and the blood and violence is amazing. Having the credits be on the bones with the spashes of red blood behind them.

I wish I had just that scene to rewatch a thousand times.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 11/11/2023

Your Silent Reality

Season 2 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips Volume A

Ripped by Ahmaykmewsik

Birthday Special!

Yep, its the big day - 11/11th is the day I was brought into the world, and now I'm yet another year older. And I was thinking about this in the context of the blog for a very long time - I really wanted to make this day somewhat special too, by highlighting a particular rip that means a lot to me. Or, well, that was the thought I had back in like, July this year. With close to two hundred posts, I've already been drip-feeding the blog with some of my all-time favorite, most resonant rips from the channel's life. From Battle! The Trainer Inside Your Head!, to Everybody's Special Course, to The 0 Has Returned and A love letter to this wonderful community and my amazing friends - to not even mention everything connected to the Christmas Comeback Crisis such as voiceless and 時の回廊 ＜ver. CCC＞. The amount of times SiIvaGunner has touched my heart and rewarded me for my time invested in such a silly project is frankly incredible, and I've shared many of those feelings with you here already.

Yet one remains. Your Silent Reality.

To say that A Silent Voice was a film that broke me would be an understatement. It to date remains one of my all time favorite films and my first time watching it, I cried more than I believe I ever have in my life. To date I still have yet to rewatch it purely because of how dearly I hold those memories of that initial viewing, how much it meant to be to be able to be so openly emotionally connected to art. Instead of rewatches, its Your Silent Reality that's kept my mind still thinking of the film - a rip that has touched me, and seemingly thousands of other viewers, to their core. Its release in Season 2 just so happened to be at the absolute perfect time for me, and its been my go-to therapy music for every year since.

I feel like Ahmaykmewsik may be a contender for the most underrated ripper on the entire channel? The guy has been around for a very long time, and I've covered his rips here on the blog before with Everything Circus and Picture This Ranch - he's a ripper with an excellent attention to detail, and in general knows how to make stuff emotionally resonant. There's a number of his rips coming up in the pipeline, but Your Silent Reality is obviously no exception to the rule. In describing it as a mashup between Your Reality from DDLC and music from A Silent Voice, and a six-year old rip at this point, you may initially get the impression that it'd be a rather simple effort. But in listening, I get the sense that Ahmaykmewsik himself knew how important the music he was arranging here was, likely even due to personal experience - and went above and beyond in delivering that premise. Small little edits and tweaks are done to the rip's instrumentals, changing in and out of melody changes to other, well-loved songs by the SiIvaGunner fanbase, be it music from Undertale or a cue of Snow Halation - yet it never interrupts the ongoing vocal performance, the heartfelt ending to Doki Doki Literature Club.

Though I've fallen out of interest with the game at this point, back in 2017 the game was yet another game I found it hard to divorce my feelings from - its music and characters do genuinely mean a lot to me. DDLC - most notably Monika - had a rather large presence on SiIva during Season 2 and Season 3, though I believe the plans for her importance to the lore...eventually fell through. Yet that's not something I mourn - in fact, in a way I think it adds to the spirit and feel of the rip as a whole. That knowledge, and the knowledge of everything that would happen to the SiIvaGunner channel over the six years that passed since Your Silent Reality was uploaded, serves to remind me of one very simple fact:

The SiIvaGunner team are, just like us - human.

A non-profit, passionate group of hobbyists, with a silly plan for a storyline, organized within a bunch of different minds, a bunch of different creatives with differing goals for the channel. And amidst it all, sits Ahmaykmewsik - another human, another individual, who just so happens to love A Silent Voice. And though the lore and foreshadowing and all such greater plans for Monika and DDLC seemingly amounted to nothing...Your Silent Reality didn't. In fact, NONE of the rips paying tribute to DDLC did - Your Silent Reality may be my favorite, yet I'm certain you reading this have your own favorite rip of the game, or favorite rip of another game - rips all made from the burning passion of individuals the world over making music. And in all honesty, as borderline fanboy-ish as it sounds, I find it hard to be truly upset with whatever direction the SiIvaGunner channel takes when I know its all for the benefit and strength of its team of immensely talented, fellow human beings.

There's a YouTube comment, left on Your Silent Reality in particular, that I vividly remember reading back when the video was first uploaded six-odd years ago. Part of the kayfabe with the SiIvaGunner channel is that its an entity that rarely if ever directly interacts with us as fans - our gratitude is reciprocated through indirect action, or through dialogue with individual rippers, yet SiIvaGunner himself is an entity so large and all-encompassing to where it would feel...wrong, to have it interact with us as people. The only interaction it usually has with the comments is with a track's original composers discovering and approving of rips - yet this time, a Heart was awarded to just another comment, by just another human. Yet NexusPlayerNA's comment resonated with an entire community, saying the silent, heartfelt feelings we'd all had bubbling internally out loud: Its 267 words of pure, unfiltered love and gratitude toward everything SiIvaGunner does. Because behind all the memes, behind all the shitposts and behind all the demands, requests and disappointments we may express toward the SiIvaGunner team - I think many of us are simply grateful for all that they've done. What was once a mere gimmick playing off of Vinesauce memes has evolved into a magical network of human expression, a place for artists to grow and connect with one another - and a place for humanity to be expressed within the confines of remixed video game music.

"Godspeed, you magnificent bastards. I hope you never stop finding fulfillment in everything you do, because I always will."

[chellyfishing]

the girlies are going through it so i’ve watched even more stuff lately

i forgot in the last post that phil and i are keeping up with my adventures with superman (we are going to watch the newest one[s] today!) and this show is just. exactly what i want in superman media. because it’s superman! it’s why i love superman!!!!!! it’s just colorful and fun and he’s so puppy!!! and it’s incredibly anime, like they’re really out here wearing their inspirations on their sleeves and i love them for it. if you like superman who is actually superman and not batman but wearing blue this is the show for you. (and!!! he’s got the underwear!!)

bella and i also have started only murders in the building season 3. not much to say yet cause only two episodes but we’re off to a good start! i shan’t spoil who is IN THIS SEASON OH MY GOODNESS but i will remind everyone who forgot like we did that paul rudd.

we unexpectedly marathoned our flag means death the other night cause i had still not yet watched it and uhh. i mean do i really need to go into this one? xae was also there while we watched and he ended up getting sucked in to the point he was literally yelling at the show by episode nine. (also: when lucius was like “i know i’m not cute but i’ve decided to carry myself as if i am”? that’s the energy i want to embody from now on.)

as for movies: i think i should have included in the last one but am not sure about the order of things because time is fake that i saw insidious for the first time. i actually wrote a little mini-essay in my head about gender roles in that movie but it wasn’t as egregious about it as, say, a quiet place. like insidious doesn’t make me low-key a bit mad like that one does lmao. it has some real good spookenings! too bad the sequels are apparently real bad cause i would like to have continued the story, but it’s not killing me or anything. like that cliffhanger didn’t make me tear my hair out or whatever. it’s patrick wilson he’ll be fine.

we watched an irish film called the hole in the ground which is about a hole in the ground (that has some evil fey creatures in it). it was good! it’s very beautiful and quiet and atmospheric and i am a slut for atmosphere. this is for if you want a straightforward but artistic horror film.

then we watched the night house, and i guess horror movies don’t feel the need to have warnings because it’s a horror movie and you know it’s going to be horrific but we both wish we’d been warned ahead of time how much this one deals with suicide. it was really good and i could probably write a lot on it but it was also quite heavy and hit really hard. the ending had us both nearly in tears. recommended but with that warning.

(we rewatched the menu afterward to bring the mood back up. good-ass movie.)

and last night!! we watched red white and royal blue! i read the book ages ago but bella and rose were both going in pretty much blind and i’m so pleased with how much they loved it. i think it was a good adaptation. they kept what made the book a good read (it’s just a little modern romantic fairy tale with two men) and i think they conveyed the vibes of the developing relationship well. the lads played the roles well and with a lot of heart and sincerity. let’s not try to force either of them to come out over it though please? also in that vein: i am afraid that the release of the film is going to revive The Discourse about the story, so this is a reminder that mcquiston wrote it around the 2016 election as a way to cope and escape to a better and more just world. they know what it is and what it says.

can’t remember what else i’ve watched besides quite a bit of black mirror. i’ve been kind of choosy with the episodes because i’m still fucking haunted by the first one!!! why did they do that!!!!! but i gotta say. sarah hawkinson on youtube was so right. nosedive might be the best episode of the whole thing. just flawless. I could watch that ending scene ten thousand times i love it so much. special shoutout to joan is awful which is another current fav. maybe if i get through the whole series i’ll do a full ranking.

oh. and still playing zelda. haven’t got another divine beast but have fought a looooot of lynels. now just going around trying so hard to get guardians to drop ancient cores. not a sign of a giant one yet and i need THREE MORE PLEASE COME ON.

[death-or-exile]

Partner and I rewatched The Dark Knight the other night. For years, I've been of the opinion that it's a fine movie, but hasn't aged as well as folks would like it to have, and based on this rewatch, I maintain my position.

We paused the movie like a dozen times to discuss acting choices, line delivery, scenes that made no sense or seemed like they could have been written another way and so an almost three hour long movie (which honestly started to drag a bit at the end there) ended up taking closer to four. But it was fun just to hash it out and get into the nitty gritty, especially since it has been probably a decade since I saw that movie last. In the intervening years, my partner was in Chicago for a work trip at one point and visited a ton of the locations featured, so he had lots to say about some of these places IRL -- like one of the bars they filmed in seems to cater specifically to TDK tourism, and the scene where Harvey comes out as Batman at a press conference is actually just a corner of the lobby of a pretty boring, small hotel, haha. I doubt this is a hot take anymore, but Heath Ledger's Joker performance is still kinda lacking for me, personally; with all respect to him, it just ain't my Joker.

With regards to my favorite lil guy, even though it is literally just a few minutes on screen, I really love Scarecrow's cameo at the beginning. It one thousand percent stands to reason that after having been heavily dosed by his own shit, completely restrained while he comes down, breaking out of Arkham on a police horse Tim Sale style and getting tazed in the face, he'd retreat to god knows where and start over from square one. Scarecrow selling drugs in one form or another is totally a thing he does in the comics, time and again, and the fact that he's selling to the mob (specifically a prevalent mob leader that we see multiple times throughout the movie) indicates to me that he must not be doing too badly for himself. Honestly, even though we see him presumably being left for arrest in the parking deck, on this rewatch it occurred to me that in the scene with The Joker approaching Maroni and Gambol and The Chechen and all the other mob bosses while they're in a video conference with Lau....like I kind of half expect to see Scarecrow and a couple of goons in the background, just being there -- It wouldn't even need a speaking role or anything, really, but idk I can just imagine him having eluded authorities after he's left in that parking deck (as one does when a Batman villain) and cropping back up like a weed. As a sidenote, god, can you imagine him in a sentencing hearing, when he IS arrested? Like a role reversal of the scene with Zsaz in Batman Begins? Ugh that would be so delicious. This isn't even taking into consideration the whole "exile or death" thing in Rises. I just love imagining how someone who worked within and manipulated the system for years might attempt to gain an advantage when in his position.

Anyway, that's enough rambling for now, just some thoughts I wanted to get out of my brain!

[retvenkos]

romantic at heart | m.

Legend of Korra - Mako x Reader, fluff

tw: none

word count: 4.6k

A/N: canon? who needs her? certainly not this fic. korrasami deserved to be canon earlier so i vaguely mentioned it, and mako and bolin’s apartment is the perfect setting don’t @ me.

Summary: Mako has always had bad luck when it comes to love, but with (Y/n), things feel easy. So why, then, is it so hard to admit it?

the three times he didn’t say it, and the one time he did.

one;

“I’m telling you guys, this is going to be great! Part Four is my favorite in The Adventures of Nuktuk: Hero of the South!” 

Mako shared an amused look with (Y/n) as Bolin led the way into the darkened theater, holding open the door for the group to enter. Asami and Korra passed hand in hand, and when (Y/n) walked past Bolin, they tossed a piece of popcorn at him and Bolin caught it in his mouth.

Mako brought up the rear of the group, and as they walked up to find their seats, he whispered, “How many parts are there, Bo?”

“Seven! And the Finale’s great, don’t get me wrong, but it just doesn’t have the heart that part four does.”

“That’s just because he kisses Ginger,” (Y/n) leaned in and whispered to Mako, earning an incredulous “hey!” from Bolin.

“How’d that work out, by the way?” Asami turned to the earthbender with what sounded like genuine curiosity and Bolin chuckled nervously.

“Ah, well, you know, the hearts of mover stars are fickle, so we didn’t last long… there was something about it being a publicity stunt, but that didn’t make much sense, so…”

“Well it’s her loss,” Korra elbowed Bolin in the side with a smile and he forced a chuckle.

“She doesn’t deserve you, Bo.”

“Yeah, you’re a great mover star.”

A few people in the theater shushed them, and the group settled down into their chairs, just moments before the lights dimmed further and the mover started. The disembodied voice of Varrick boomed through the speakers with a recap of the previous 3 parts of the daring adventure, and everyone fell silent, slowly getting sucked into the mover before them.

Ever since their debut, the Nuktuk movies were a success - a staple of Republic City culture - getting replayed in theatres again and again. After learning that Mako hadn’t seen Nuktuk in its entirety, Bolin called for a state of emergency and got the whole group together so they could schedule a time for a complete rewatch of the seven-part masterpiece.

Mako had been planning to make some excuse - a series of cases that Beifong put him up to, or a slew of paperwork that some higher-paid coworkers pawned off onto him. It wouldn’t be the first time he had to miss something for work, and it wouldn’t be the first attempt at lying to get out of a viewing party. Just three months ago he narrowly avoided a showing of Love amongst the Dragons by faking sickness and saying that Beifong told him to sleep all day so he could be back at work the next. Everyone but Bolin believed him, and Bolin (who didn’t want to see it either but promised Asami he would go) let it slide.

After that, Bolin was better at guessing when Mako was lying, and whenever he needed Mako’s compliance, he set (Y/n) up to the task of cajoling Mako to come along.

So far, their track record had been impeccable.

(Y/n) chuckled at something they saw on screen, and Mako turned to them. “How many cases of Vari-dye do you think Varrick sold after that product placement?” They gestured to the screen where the once blonde Ginger flagrantly mentioned her hair dye product before becoming a, well… ginger. The script was somehow able to loosely tie the product placement into the plot, but the moment earned a couple of well-earned laughs throughout the theater.

“Millions, most likely. Aren’t these movers big in Ba Sing Se?”

“As comedies,” (Y/n) muttered, leaning in, clearly trying to keep their voice down so Bolin didn’t hear. The theater around them was dark and silent, but the light reflected in (Y/n)’s eyes was full of life and mirth. Mako found himself unable to look away.

He cleared his throat, “You do have to give it to Nuktuk and his comedic timing.”

“And Juji’s heart-wrenching death and subsequent resurrection.”

Mako found himself chuckling at their lame joke, and for once, he didn’t mind. (Y/n) smiled triumphantly, as though they had accomplished something truly grand, and angled their bag of popcorn towards Mako. He took some and popped a piece in his mouth, his laughter still dying on his lips. 

“Varrick must be quite the director, to get you to laugh in a totally serious, not-a-comedy mover.”

“Varrick?” and there was just enough suggestion in Mako’s words to say all that he couldn’t, though why he couldn’t seem to get anything else out, he didn’t know.

Things were always easy with (Y/n); their smiles were soft and infectious, their tactics in getting him to open up were effortless and effective, and falling in love with them had been the most simple and uncomplicated thing in this world. It should have been with such ease that Mako told them that it was them that got him into the theater and their corny comments that made him burn inside, like a thousand dying comets that took the form of shooting stars.

But for some reason, he was stuck.

Unsurprising, really, Mako had never really had luck when it came to love and even friendship. There was always something complicating things; there were always two sides of him, fighting the other for reasons even he couldn’t fathom. Eventually, one of them would lose. Eventually, something would give. 

But until that eventuality…

“I suppose I am quite the comedian. Should I write a screenplay?” (Y/n) was speaking, but something in their demeanor was different - a little stunned - like they hadn’t considered something before and it was only now dawning on them, slowly, but comfortably. Easy. “It would have to be a sequel to Nuktuk, of course. Maybe I can introduce the grumpy, mysterious fire-bender who he’s now forced to share a quest with?”

(Y/n) nudged him in the shoulder, already rolling their eyes at their own idea. Mako looked down, suddenly interested in picking the perfect piece of popcorn. “Yeah. If you’re making it, why not?”

(Y/n) snorted and turned back to the film.

two;

Taking the steps to his apartment two at a time, Mako fished for his keys in the pocket of his pants. Walking the beat had the potential to be more trouble than it was worth, and often Mako found himself at the gym at the end of the day, taking out his frustration the way he used to - pro-bending. Well, not so much pro-bending, anymore, seeing as they disbanded the Fire Ferrets, and dissolved the team, but it was the same training, nonetheless, and Mako had been a pro-bender so long that oftentimes, nothing felt more comfortable than the gym.

As he walked down the hall to his door - second on the right, Bolin had insisted - Mako could hear the sounds of laughter and the beeping of the oven. Despite himself, he smiled, breathing in deeply as he fiddled with the lock and opened the door.

Inside the tiny apartment, (Y/n) and Bolin were working side by side, leaning over the oven as they looked at the baked goods that lay within. The counters were a mess of cluttered ingredients and mismatched bake wear, Pabu had tracked flour across the carpet, and by every measure it was chaotic, but Mako simply leaned against the doorframe, speaking just loud enough to be heard. “Stress baking, again? Y’know, I’m really starting to regret giving you a key.”

"This was all Bolin, actually.” (Y/n) pulled the baking sheet out of the oven and set it down before turning to Mako with their usual countenance. “He told me to come over - he bought a set of mixing bowls and everything.”

“He didn’t buy more counter space?”

“Hey!” Bolin called incredulously through a mouth full of baked goods. Pabu scuttled beneath him, eating the crumbs that fell to the floor. “Counters wouldn’t fit.”

“It’s alright Bo,” (Y/n) nudged his arm with their shoulder, turning back to the task at hand. They used an old spatula to take their masterpiece off of the pan, and Bolin took two from them. 

“You have to try this batch, Mako, (Y/n)’s gotten really good at their green tea cookies.”

“Oh?”

Mako shut the door behind him and walked over to the couch. (Y/n) met him halfway with their signature, light green cookie, Mako took it with an appreciative smile. “The secret is in the matcha. I wasn’t putting in enough before, so they didn’t taste right.”

Mako broke off a bit of the cookie, making sure to get a bit that had a white chocolate chip in it, and savored the taste. (Y/n) was watching him with one of their expectant smiles, and he nodded his head, the bittersweet flavor still lingering in his mouth. “These are your best yet.”

“High praise, coming from you.” And there was an edge of sarcasm to their voice, but their eyes were bright. Mako just looked at them for a moment, really looked at them in all of their casual beauty. (Y/n) had moved into his life so early on and so slowly that Mako didn’t know what life would be like without their casual teasing and easy grins.

And, of course, their random (but not unwelcome) bouts of stress baking.

Mako must have been staring a bit too long, because (Y/n) raised a playful eyebrow, and not too long after, Bolin broke the silence. “Uh, Pabu and I have to go, and uh... y’know, do adult stuff, with uh....”

“With Korra?” (Y/n) supplied amusedly, turning to Bolin, who was stuffing a napkin with cookies hurriedly. 

“Yeah! Y’know, Avatar stuff...” Bolin shrugged, slipping out the door, only to open it up again and grab his shoes before shoving off again.

(Y/n) scoffed and Mako sighed, calling after him. “Real smooth, Bo!” 

A muffled response called out to them, and (Y/n) laughed, walking back over to the kitchen area, where they started to put together another batch of cookies, measuring the sugar with their hands and putting it into a bowl with butter. “I’m surprised you haven’t been kicked out from noise complaints.”

Yeah, well Bolin charmed our neighbors into liking us too much to see us go.”

“His charm does go far, doesn’t it?” Mako watched and (Y/n) moved through his apartment with ease, pulling spoons out of the drawers and cleaning the dishes as they went. Their practiced movements had the surety and preciseness of someone who lived there, and the thought was enough to make Mako’s throat dry.

“So,” Mako cleared his throat and walked over to (Y/n) passing them the egg they were reaching for. “you measure everything with your hands, and yet you’re constantly insisting that baking is a science. How does that work?”

“It’s all in the weight and look of it - a full cup is a far cry from a fourth.” (Y/n) mixed the ingredients together, their brow set in concentration, “Or, at least, that’s what my mom used to say. What I will tell you—” they looked up at Mako rather suddenly, that intensity still alight within them “—is that it’s in how it feels.”

“So the weight of it.”

“Yes... but it’s more than that.” (Y/n) looked at him with their sharp eyes, as though trying to judge something. “Go wash your hands,” and they jerked their head to the side, “I’ll show you.”

Mako didn’t even hesitate to do as they said, and even though Bolin had left, he could hear his voice - a surprised “what...?” - nagging the back of his mind. It was easy to shrug off. It was (Y/n). Everything was easy when it came to them.

“Alright,” (Y/n) said, with a hint of childish excitement, as Mako slung the towel he had used to dry his hands over his shoulder. “Give me your hands.”

Their touch tickled and their fingers - dry and powdery from the flour - grazed over his, opening his palms with a gentle sort of care.

“Here is one cup or so.” (Y/n) grabbed a handful of flour, transferred it to their other hand, and skimmed some off the top before placing it in his. “Yeah, you can feel the weight, and you can see how much there is, but you have to kind of trust that what you're feeling is right, because it’s not always going to feel the same, right? When you’re tired or you’ve been baking all day, things feel different, even though they’re the same.”

“All this for flour?”

“For each cup of flour. We need two and a half.”

“I can see why Bolin asks you to do the baking.” (Y/n) chuckled and guided his hands to the mixing bowl, where Mako let the flour slip out of his fingertips like really fine sand. “But I can tell that you feel it...” the last bit of flour fell out of his hands, but Mako let his hands hover near (Y/n)’s for just a moment longer, “and that’s good enough.”

They smiled, and it has all the serenity and beauty of dawn. “I’ll make a baker of you, yet.” They added more flour to the bowl and started mixing, their gaze flicking up to Mako. “One of these days you’re going to understand the feeling of it.”

“I...” and part of Mako wanted to say that he already did, that his feelings were about the only thing he understood when it came to moments like these, but the words got caught in his throat, and he found himself unable to get them out. “I think we’ll have to do a lot more baking, then.”

three;

Mako ran, the ground beneath his feet steady and his breathing exact. The beauty of Republic City Park surrounded him and in the early morning, when the air was just nippy enough to need a jacket, there were few people to be found. The usual groups of people practicing tai chi or playing Pai Sho weren’t out yet, and the sun was just peaking over the horizon. 

Morning runs often gave Mako a sense of clarity - there was very little he could focus on when in fast, forward motion, and everything complicated fell away. It was just him, the ground, and the fire in his veins. 

Mako slowed to a jog, and when he found an empty park bench, he sat down, wiping the sweat off of his brow. The shadows were just starting to creep away, losing to the brilliance of the sun and hiding in each recess and tiny alcove. The duck pond in front of him was warming to a crystal-like blue. Mako breathed out and tipped his head back, letting the stillness wash over him, his thoughts slowly catching up with him.

“Mako?”

And at first, he thought it was just his feelings for (Y/n) meeting up with him once more, but then he heard the steady pounding of the pavement and there they were jogging toward him, ushering in the morning with a comfortable pace.

“Heading into work later than usual?” They stopped by the bench and Mako slid over so they’d have room to sit.

“No, Beifong told me to take a day off. I usually do paperwork today, but she handed it off to someone else.”

(Y/n) hummed in acknowledgement. “So you’re joining Asami and me for our run, then?”

"Huh?”

“Asami and I usually go on a run, at this time. We meet here.”

“Asami told me that I should take a run since I wasn’t going into work today.”

Both of them scoffed, relaxing deeper into the metal bench. For a moment they just sat there, taking in the moment, and letting the world dawn on them, a beautiful mixture of colors - a painting slowly completing itself. Eventually, (Y/n) turned to Mako, an eyebrow raised in jest. “Do you reckon they think they’re being slick?”

“Probably - and it’ll only get worse once they get Korra on board.”

“Who’s to say they haven’t already?” The two chuckled, shaking their heads at the efforts of their friends, and (Y/n) knocked their knees together, leaning in a little closer. “It’s alright, I like spending time with you.”

“You’re gonna hate me once we finish this run, though.”

“Then I guess you’ll have to buy me some tea, afterwards.” (Y/n) stood up, stretching their arms and letting out a yawn. “To make it up to me, of course.”

Mako stifled a smile and stood, making a show of his weary sigh. “Alright” —(Y/n) rolled their eyes at him— “You drive a hard bargain.”

They started off at a slow jog, and every minute or so Mako upped the intensity until they were sprinting across Republic City Park, occasionally dodging the wayward soul taking a morning stroll. The world blurred around them, the lush foliage turning into swaths of green with the occasional pinprick of color - purple or yellow, green or blue. As they slowed down, the world became more defined, and when they came to a walk, (Y/n) pulled ahead and turned around so they could walk backwards, facing Mako with a breathless grin.

“You owe me at least a muffin to go along with that tea, after what you just pulled. I almost ran into a woman walking her toddler! Could you imagine what would have happened, had I hit her?”

Mako laughed, still coming down from his high, and (Y/n) grinned at the sound - dazzling and so bright, it put the sun to shame. “Let’s get you out of the park, then, before you start running down Pai Sho players.” 

The two fell into step beside each other, taking the path out of the park and into the busy streets. Already, Republic City was booming with life, and the two were rather quick to slip into the quiet tea shop that was just around the corner. Inside, the cafe was fairly empty, with slow music playing from the speakers. (Y/n) closed their eyes and breathed in the smell of freshly-baked muffins, and Mako was quick to look away when they caught him staring.

(Y/n) walked towards the case that held all of the baked goods, trying to read the different types they had displayed. “This is way better than trying to throw something together at my apartment.”

Mako pulled his attention away from the menu board, where he had been searching for the right type of tea. “Your apartment? You mean you actually have a place to go, other than mine?” 

“You gave me the key.”

“For emergencies.”

(Y/n) scoffed. “Well, ‘emergencies’ is in clear need of a mutual definition.”

The two ordered, and Mako paid, despite (Y/n) saying they had the money, and when their order was ready, they took a seat in the corner, next to a window that overlooked a busy intersection. (Y/n) insisted they split the muffin and gave half to Mako, and after settling into their more calm atmosphere, (Y/n) turned to Mako.

“So, what are you going to do for the rest of your day off?” (Y/n) took a sip of their tea and fixed Mako with one of those stares - the kind that saw through everything else, and somehow got down to his core. “I can’t imagine this is what you had planned.”

“Uh… I don’t know. I figured I’d go home and work on finding a lead to a case or something.”

“Even though Beifong told you to take the day off?”

“Well, I’m not at the station…” Mako trailed off, suddenly finding great interest in the rim of his cup.

“And you’re not going to work from home, either.” (Y/n) scoffed exaggeratedly, and though Mako was the most incorrigible person they’d ever met. Although, in their defense, he probably was. “Not on my watch.”

“So what, you’re going to find something for me to do all day?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

Mako watched as (Y/n) sat back in the booth, a triumphant yet challenging smile on their face, and he felt the disbelief in his chest melt into something softer. It was there, again, that urge to say something both incredibly brave and terribly stupid; that desire to put all of his feelings into words and express them more truly than anything else.

“Alright,” Mako swallowed and allowed himself a small smile. “If that’s what it takes.

✧ *:･ﾟ

one;

Just when Mako had admitted to (Y/n) that he was an avid reader, he couldn’t remember, but at some point, they had found out, and ever since, the two spent their lazy weekends sprawled out on his sky blue sofa, books in hand. This time, (Y/n) had come earlier than usual, and by midday, they had already finished their novel - a fast-paced murder mystery with just a bit of a redemption arc for one of the main leads. They had talked about (Y/n)’s book while walking down to the market to get the necessary fixings for dinner, and when they came back to Mako’s tiny apartment, he passed them one of his favorites to read - a historical fiction that combined elements of notable legends and recorded history to make an interesting thriller with plenty of easy-to-digest drama. 

When (Y/n) took it from him, they took one look at the summary and raised an eyebrow.  “This is one of your favorites?” Mako had tried to push down his embarrassment, stuttering out some kind of response, but had just smiled. “It’s not a bad thing, just surprising. I’m sure I’ll love it.”

And they did. For the next hour and a half, the two sat in Mako’s apartment in relative silence, reading separate novels and making the occasional exclamation of shock, betrayal, joy, and surprise. Mako had looked over at (Y/n) occasionally, trying to judge where they were in the book, and whether they were enjoying it just as much as he had, the first time.

At some point in the day, the sun filtering through the window matured into a deeper, golden shade, turning the afternoon into early evening. Mako, who had been thoroughly engrossed in his novel for the better part of the day, stood up from his couch and stretched when he noticed the change in light. Letting out a sigh, he made his way over to the kitchen area. As he started to make dinner for the both of them, Mako missed the way that (Y/n) turned to look at him from their place on the couch, a lopsided grin on their face. They still lay on the turquoise material, sitting upside down with their feet in the air, book in hand and the red couch cushion resting on their stomach, watching as Mako turned on the stove with a click of propane and a bit of fire bending. 

It wasn't long before the apartment was full of the comforting smell of Mako's cooking, and soon (Y/n) found it impossible to focus on the page before them. They opted to right themself instead and watch Mako as he finished up, adding the finishing touches to the meal before splitting what lay in the pan into two different bowls. 

He handed a bowl to (Y/n) as he settled onto the couch, both of them moving to sit cross-legged, their knees touching. (Y/n) savored the flavor of Mako's signature dish, and he gestured to the book beside them. 

"How're you liking it so far?"

"The book? It's great. Perfectly paced, in my opinion, although I wouldn't mind for a little bit more world-building. The time period is so interesting and they could lean into it a little more."

Mako nodded, satisfied with the smile on their face and the eagerness in their tone. "I figured you'd like it. There's a lot happening, but the characters are good enough to carry the story."

"That's a raving review, coming from you." (Y/n) laughed, the sound falling from their lips effortlessly. "And I can see why it's your favorite. You like a good redemption arc, don't you?"

"It's an interesting enough idea."

"A rather sweet one, too. Are you sure you're not a romantic at heart?"

Mako scoffed in response, but even so, he could feel his cheeks burning up, the nagging voice in his head (the one that told him to just confess already, or do something equally as rash) getting louder from conviction. "I think that's you."

"Oh definitely, but there's always room for one more," (Y/n) mumbled through a mouth full of noodles. "And judging by your taste in books, I'd say you already are."

"There's not even a romantic subplot!"

"The main character literally took lightning to the face for his best friend, and then proceeded to say that he’d do it all again, if it meant they could stay together. Are you telling me there isn't something there?"

“You said yourself that they’re friends!”

“C’mon, Mako,” (Y/n) deadpanned, setting aside their dinner so that they could use their hands to punctuate their speech. There was a fire in their eyes, and something restless in the way they moved - like there was something important they were trying to say. “Friendship is clearly just an excuse for them.”

“An excuse?” Mako felt his throat dry. Suddenly, he was acutely aware of their proximity, and the little space that still existed between them - like they were almost touching, and yet oceans apart. 

(Y/n)’s hands fidgeted in their lap. “Yeah, like… An easy out when you’re too afraid to go for it...or when you think you’re not enough.” Part of Mako wanted to look away, but (Y/n)’s eyes had caught his gaze too fully and the other part of him battled to stay. For the longest moment, he couldn’t move. “But they love each other - you can see it.”

There was a battle waging war inside Mako; each side fighting the other for dominance, and only one coming out on top. When he spoke, his voice was low, almost like a deep sigh. “Yeah, they love each other.”

(Y/n) smiled, their mouth moving with just the slightest tremble, and part of Mako wondered what had disrupted the ease with which they did everything, but another part of him already knew. Mako reached out and cupped their cheek, the feeling of their skin against his flooding him with courage he didn’t know he had.

“And I love you, (Y/n).” 

“About time you confessed to me.” (Y/n)’s eyes sparkled in jest before they surged forward, kissing Mako and igniting the fire in his chest. All he could think about was them and the way they blissfully invaded all of his senses, how soft their lips were, and how strong their hands were, as they wrapped around him, pulling him nearer. When they broke apart, (Y/n) rested their forehead on his. 

Then they said it, their voice a whisper that sent him tumbling over the edge, their breath fanning against his cheek.

“I love you, too.”

Mako kissed them again, craving the feeling of their lips against his, chasing after the way they made him feel - like every moment had led to this, like every battle had been worth the struggle. Time seemed to stop, and for a moment, it was as though there was no gravity, and the only thing anchoring Mako to this world was (Y/n), and their touch.

“Like I said,” (Y/n) was smiling when he pulled away, and their gaze made it easy to come back down to earth. “You’re a romantic at heart.”

Mako chuckled and (Y/n) laughed with him, the sound filling the tiny apartment with something undefined but utterly perfect. 

“Alright, so maybe I am.” Mako relented, tipping his head back. “But an epic romance doesn’t happen within that book, if that’s what you're after.”

“Well, maybe we’ll have to write a sequel of our own."

-- taglist: message me if you want to be added to a taglist!

[hyuukais]

Hi hi!! This is my first time trying something like this but I’d like to give your matchmaking event a try for Stray Kids and/or Seventeen ♥️😂 I’m a 22-year-old struggling college student. My pronouns are she/her. I love to read, write, dance and listen to music. I consider myself a closeted goth as I haven’t had the chance to fully express myself in a gothic style yet. I harshly swing between being a tomboy and being girly. I’d like to juggle three careers once I graduate: writing, graphics design and voice acting. I really love learning languages and I can speak Arabic, English and a bit of German. I’m a Leo born in ‘99. My favorite movies are King Arthur Legend of The Sword and Mulan (1998). I’m a proud cat mom and a huge foodie but I can try anything once. Might be unrelated but my Hogwarts house is Slytherin. I’m a multi-fandom mess and I’m a huge comics and anime fan too. Some of my favorite non-kpop artists are ONE OK ROCK, BMTH, Grimes, CNCO, Doja Cat, Danna Paola and Halsey. I have a thing for watching documentaries and I know a weirdly huge amount of random trivia info. I’m fascinated by the world as a whole and get lost contemplating life a lot. Very into psychology too. Humans are really fascinating to me and I like to observe and talk with them to understand them more. Weirdly enough, I’m interested in mythology, world history and art history too. Museums are one of my favorite spots. Overall weirdo (and proud) and a lot of my friends say I’m a very animated person. Autumn is my favorite season and I love the night and the rain ♥️ And yes, I’m a night owl. Also got the attention span of a 5-year-old.

I Pair You With…

Lee Minho !!

A proud cat mom himself, Lee Know would want a partner who can understand his love for his three babies. Your interest in the human psyche would grow into an interest of his own. Minho would love to hear you talk about the new things you’ve learned or random pieces of trivia you’ve known. He can always get behind a movie night of rewatching the same film you’ve seen a thousand times before. He says documentaries aren’t really his speed though he will alway end up fully enraptured in everything going on. Minho would find your animated nature a nice balance to his more sarcastic facade.

And…

Kwon Soonyoung !!

Always willing to lend a hand when you’re front row of the struggle bus, Soonyoung would try to be a comforting shoulder. He’d be overwhelmingly supportive of and enthralled by your various career paths. Not to mention your lingual skills, which Hoshi would be in awe of. He’d constantly ask you to teach him a few phrases or words. Soonyoung would full-heartedly welcome lengthy discussions about the newest episode of the latest anime you’ve been watching or most recent book you’ve finished.

Thank you for your submission!

Matchmaker Event

[captain-apostrophe]

I wanted to read through the whole list but I can't go past the mummy one (I love that movie so much) and in honour of FINALLY having a weekend off so I can read the hand is a voice could we have qingming? dealers choice if wen qing is rick and mingjue eve or vice versa (likewise either didi would, I think, make a fine jonathan). Thank you ^.^

I even rewatched the film to make sure I had the vibe for this and guys, it's such a good fucking time. I almost wrote the opening sequence of Imhotep's punishment and entombment instead, because it reminded me of NMJ chained to the table and getting beheaded, but it didn't feel shippy enough and imo swashbuckling WQ is much better than concubine WQ.

I hope you enjoyed THIAV, anon! Thanks for reading! <3

(also on ao3, if you prefer to read it there)

[pg; QingJue; The Mummy (1999)]

- Beloved -

Wen Qing ran into the chamber and then skidded to a halt on the sand-strewn stone when she saw what it contained - they were almost too late.

"Dage!" Huaisang shouted, as he scurried in behind her. "We got the book!"

Iaret, High Priestess of the goddess Serket, froze with her centuries-tarnished blade in the air over where Mingjue was chained to the stone table.

He was bare-chested and with his hair loose like a mane around his head as if he'd been snatched out of his bed and dragged out into the desert without so much as a chance to put shoes on. Well, there would be time to have a crisis about how good he looked later, when they weren't in imminent danger of death by three thousand year old mummies.

"Less talking!" Mingjue said. "More reading the damn spell!"

The shout drew Iaret's attention back to him, but Wen Qing was having none of it.

"Hey!" she shouted, grabbing a length of rope hanging nearby and praying it would hold her weight. "Get your own man, you crusty old bitch!"

She swung out off the ledge and kicked Iaret back from the stone table. Before the Priestess could recover, Wen Qing swung the sword she'd liberated from one of the lesser mummies, busting the chain around Mingjue's wrist. For a long, loaded moment he stared up at her, wide-eyed like he couldn't believe what was happening (but was, on some slightly perverse level, enjoying it anyway), and then Iaret shrieked like a storm whipping up the desert sands and there was no more time for meaningful glances.

"Get to your brother," Wen Qing snapped. "And find the spell before she gets the upper hand."

Then she rounded on Iaret again, leaving him to scrabble at the chains around his ankles, ignoring Huaisang's frantic, stammering translations - he didn't know the language as well as Mingjue did, though he'd apparently picked up a stumbling grasp of it.

Wen Qing and the ancient priestess circled around each other, and Wen Qing counted it a blessing that Iaret was no more of a warrior than she herself was. They struck at each other, and parried, and neither had the advantage.

"This is not what I went to med school for," Wen Qing growled. "And it is not what I signed up for when I took this damn assignment!"

But of course, then she'd met these idiot brothers and realised that she was the only one with a hope of keeping them alive long enough to find their fabled text.

And, okay, the thought of the untold medical knowledge it could contain had been tempting too.

Iaret howled again, a horrible animal sound from such a beautiful mouth, and Wen Qing was glad she didn't know what the priestess was saying. It was almost certainly nothing nice.

"Any second now!" Wen Qing shouted back at the brothers, risking a glance over her shoulder to see them huddled over the book and arguing about its contents.

She ducked, fell back against the stone table, then pushed off from it to knock Iaret away. The priestess stumbled, dragging Wen Qing down with her. The knife was between them and it was only when Iaret began to laugh that Wen Qing realised it had stabbed into the priestess's belly.

She didn't need to speak an ancient Egyptian dialect to know the priestess was mocking her, then, reminding her that she was immortal and that no human weapon could kill her.

"Okay!" Huaisang announced. "We have it!"

Iaret was still laughing, shoving at Wen Qing, as Mingjue spoke the incantation - and then she froze, and a light went out of her eyes, and Wen Qing looked down to see blood pooling between them.

"Next time," Wen Qing muttered, as she scrambled back and the priestess's stolen body crumbled to dust, "maybe you'll keep your hands to yourself."

[animatedminds]

Pixar’s Soul: Review and Reaction

The first sentence I’ve always used to describe Pete Docter and Pixar’s Soul since watching it has nothing to do with the plot. It’s instead is a starstruck comment about the music: the movie begins with a cover of a Duke Ellington classic - Mercer Ellington’s “Things Ain’t What they Used to Be.” It ends with a jazz rendition of a classic from several decades later - but still quite a bit in our past - Curtis Mayfield’s soul classic “It’s Alright.” On a personal level, this would say way more about Soul that most other descriptions of it might to get me to watch it - were I not the kind of person who was absolutely intent on watching the movie day one regardless. Though I am myself a few generations after either of those artists were around, their music has been a part of my life since I was a kid and are essential on any playlist in my opinion. Curtis Mayfield’s music, especially, deserves all the love in the world, and hearing by surprise someone cover his work in a Disney movie made my entire day - and it would have, even if the film weren’t the meaningful ride it is.

But before we get into all that, lets also look at those songs. “Things Aren’t What They Used To Be” is played a la a teacher and a higher school band class: the students are learning and a bit difficult to listen to, while the music-loving teacher cringes at the front. But the choice of song tells us a lot. It’s a jazz standard: which means when it comes to jazz, it’s one of the essentials - a tune every band learns to play, and every jazz fan has heard before. The teacher is a jazzman - you can probably guess who - and the whole time he’s listening to the song you can hear him wanting to sit down and make it sound as perfectly as he hears it in his head. Remember that analogy. Heck, when you watch or rewatch the movie, remember the mindset Joe - because that’s who that teacher is, Joe Gardner, is in for that whole teaching scene in the first place: and remember how important the desire to make things perfect is to the greater story the movie is trying to tell.

“Things Aren’t The Way They Used To Be,” indeed. By the end, you have to wonder: isn’t that the point? Now the second song. “It’s All Right” is a smooth number for dancing to - not frenetic and wild dancing, but more a slow jam sort of vibe. BUt it’s the lyrics that are the most befitting the themes of the movie. Like several of Curtis Mayfield’s tunes “It’s All Right” is an ear worm of an R&B number that’s actually about being a peace with yourself. “You’ve got soul” - ha, I get it - “and everybody knows, that it’s all right.” Or, to quote instead my favorite verse of the song (I did say Mayfield was one of my favorites): “when you wake up early in the morning feeling sad like so many of us do, hum a little soul, make life your goal, and surely something’s gonna come to you.” This is before the spoilery part of the review, but they could not have picked a better song for the movie’s themes if they wrote it themselves.

Soul, after all, is ultimately a movie about how the things we do, the things we love, even the things that define us and should make us feel good in and of themselves, can become a shackle that prevents us from feeling the things that we adopt them to feel. Dreams - especially dreams deferred - can consume us rather than uplift us, and sometimes in pursuing them we may forget to live, and forget that others are living in this world and dreaming alongside us.

This, as you might be able to tell from the way I’ve described it, is a movie with a very strong, and most importantly very well related message that - as we’ve come to expect from Pixar’s output at this point - touches us in our jaded adult hearts. As a creative person with lofty dreams who has almost literally been where the protagonist is in this film - and as many in my generation also have gone through - it definitely feels like a film that was directed straight at the generation that first watched Toy Story as kids decades ago, and now feel somewhat unfulfilled as adults going into the world. Same as Inside Out (a movie specifically designed to make adults cry, in my opinion), the SparkShorts and arguably Onward (I definitely related to Bailey, some). So much like my review of Jingle Jangle, you have something of an idea where this review is going to go before the jump, but that’s okay. This movie did have ups and downs, but its just the kind of up Pixar is good at: they know they’re audience, and especially did for this gem. By the end, it can definitely make you feel as though you too can make it through, as long as you have a little Soul. However, it is not just the message, but the nuances and skill in which they relate that message (and they do come close to making decisions that could have ruined it, at times), which means it’s very difficult for me to put why this movie works into a review without SPOILERS. If you want to avoid SPOILERS, don’t hop over the pic and instead treat the above as your non-SPOILER review.

Soul is the story of one Joe Gardner, played by Jamie Foxx a brilliant early middle-aged pianist with lifelong dreams of becoming a jazz musician, who we first meet teaching part time band at a local high school. The inciting incident is an interesting choice: Joe gets a major offer - he can come on as a full time teacher, making his occupation a career! But Joe believes very much in the adage that “those who cannot do, teach” - in the sense that he wants to do. He cannot accept the position - over the advice of his mother - because that would mean giving up on his dream of being out there playing music for a living: a dream that has consumed him his entire life but which has given him nothing in return. Until now. While agonizing over the decision to take the position, Joe's life then gets a big twist: a former student of his, remembering him fondly years after they knew each other, has a hook for him to join the band of a famous jazz singer and saxophonist - played by Angela Basset (side note, here: jazz has long had a reputation for being something of a boys club, especially for certain instruments, and the choice to have the lead saxophonist and famous idol whose band Joe wants to join be a woman is a great choice that my entire jazz-loving and living family took note of). Joe is instantly elated - he rushes over and naturally aces the audition for the part in the band, and so is on cloud nine...

Until he dies. That’s when the plot really starts. Joe falls down a manhole like an astronomer in an aesop fable, and is now stuck on the slow escalator to The Great Beyond. Naturally, he’s not for that and tries to escape - pursued by overeager spiritual soul-accountant Terry - ending up in the Great Before instead, and leaving his body in a still-living coma (the implications that coma patients in general are people who are choosing not to die when they’re “supposed” to is something I’m sure the writers didn’t intend, so I’ll let it slide). There, Joe is pressganged into mentoring a pre-prepared soul for birth, helping them find their Spark for life - which Joe interprets as the one true purpose and dream they are meant to fulfill. Once he gets them their Spark, he will be able to steal a badge his mentee earns as fully fledged souls and . Luckily for his intended very morally suspect intent on spiritual larceny, he ends up with Soul #22 - and that’s #22 out of hundreds of billions - a soul who has simply never found a Spark despite having been in the Great Before for thousands of years. #22 doesn’t want to live, so she agrees to give him her patch when they’re done. But no mentor before has been able to inspire her (well, technically #22 is genderless, as she demonstrates in the story at Joe’s request, but she is voiced by Tina Fey), so how can Joe? When that proves to be too hard indeed, #22 instead decides to help Joe get back - mostly because she’s intrigued at why anyone would want to cling to life so badly - with the help of some mystics who astral project while in the Zone: where everyone goes when they’re fully immersed in what they do. This almost works, but at the last second everything goes awry: #22 gets mixed up with Joe when he returns, and so he doesn’t quite get back the way he wants to...

That’s enough plot summary for now. That’s all just the set-up anyway, for the choices in writing and concept that I’m about to talk about. As you might have been able to tell from that ominous last note, the middle chunk of Soul - almost right up until the climax, in fact - is actually a body-swap movie, a la Freaky Friday. #22 ends up in Joe’s body, so he has to get her to do the things he needs to get ready for his gig and get through the day while they wait for the mystic to bring a way to set everything right. And did I mention he’s in the body of a cat? Having been following the movie, this wasn’t entirely a surprise, but it was still not something I was entirely ready for coming in. I tend to shy away from that kind of story on a personal level, as body-swap narratives are nearly predominantly based on cringe moments and awkward misconceptions - and that sort of thing usually tends to make me want to leave the scene in question and get a cup of water until after the awkwardness passes. However, this isn’t really part of the review in the sense that I perceive that the movie being in that genre is a flaw - because ultimately that’s just an aspect of my personal taste. Rather, I use it to show just how strong a movie Soul was and how well its narrative choices resonated with its themes that ultimately while it did indeed partake in your typical body-swap narrative cringe moments - “look, the [redacted] in Joe’s body just ran into his boss / mom!” / “look, the [redacted] is having a bizarre conversation with Joe’s friends!” / etc - those moments actually add to the narrative rather than take you out of it. Joe as “friends,” as exemplified by the barber he goes to to get his hair ready for the gig when it inevitably gets ruined in a bout of hijinks (the barber being that extremely well-designed bearded character the internet went wild over). He goes to that barber all the time, talks with him constantly, and believes he knows him well. But it turns out that Joe’s so wrapped up in his wants and desires that he’s never even asked him about his life - he just assumed that the barber was like him, born to do that one thing he was good at. It takes #22′s innocent, slightly off-kilter and occasional philosophical questions about what the heck all this “life” stuff is about for Joe to learn that this person in his life didn’t even want to be where he ended up initially, he ended up there because that’s the way his life turned, but he loves it because it’s life and he appreciates the world he’s come to create around himself. Likewise, he runs into his mom, but while Joe has come to expect his mother to be dismissive of him and his dreams, it takes an accident with #22 for him to realize that he’s been so caught up in his desires and her in her preconceptions that neither of them have ever had a real talk about their relationship, nor given a chance to grow in each other’s eyes. You might notice a trend. One of Joe’s students - a brilliant trombonist - comes to tell him she’s quitting band, but she doesn’t really. She’s just insecure because the other students make fun of her. Joe knows this already - it’s become commonplace to him - so the doesn’t feel the need to do anything about it and instead focuses on his own needs. But #22 decides to talk to her on a whim, and this push and pull of insecurity but joy in what one is good at fascinates her, while it bores Joe. While - like any other New Yorker - public transit is a chore to Joe, the melting pot of people and music draws #22 in: best evidenced by the moment where Joe and #22 meet another great musician playing for tips in the subway. Joe, despite being capable of relating as a musician, just walks past him after appreciating the sound for a sec, while #22, entranced by the things people do, leaves something for him. The world is drab and lacking in vibrancy from Joe’s point of view, as evidenced by the very accurate grimy look of the high school he work at - but from #22′s seemingly jaded eyes seeing it for the first time, it’s full of wonder.

This actually creates an interesting character contrast on top of the one we already know: Joe is the idealist, and #22 is the cynic... right? Well, it turns out Joe doesn’t have much of an appreciation for the world around him - not intentionally, but still to a very strong degree - whereas #22 simply hasn’t had the chance to experience life yet and thus never knew what it was that made people want to be part of it. Life itself becomes her Spark, though neither of them realize it at the time. Lets just get the aesop out of the way now. Your dream is not your life: that’s what Soul wants to say. Things that compel you as a person may consume you, even embitter you, and prevent you from seeing the world around you for what it is. But that doesn’t make dreams a bad thing: people everywhere find that Spark from the dreams to keep moving forward - it’s just that it shouldn’t preclude living, nor should living preclude your dreams. Life is a delicate balance, and man is this movie serving up some complicated life lessons here. I immediately took this as a far more mature take on the message The Princess and the Frog stumbled somewhat through years ago (man, I’m turning out to be pretty hard on that movie in this blog). My biggest issue with PATF is that it tells us that Tiana should be less intent on her dream and find love instead, but doesn’t show us. It’s just characters chiding her for not settling down until the plot ultimately pushes a man in front of her and she realizes she should’ve been finding one all along. That’s a very harsh way of putting it, but it condenses what I’m trying to say: ultimately PATF pushes Tiana to realizations she doesn’t seem to need, whereas Soul has a similar message about life and does so by focusing on character development, about how the protagonist doesn’t have as firm a handle on his life as he thought, and thus brings us a take on the lesson that’s far less cut and dry.

If you’re a fan of The Incredibles, the comparison to Mr. Incredible is fairly easy. Joe, though well meaning and decent overall, is a very self-centered person who happens to be so for very sympathetic and relatable reasons. He just wants to do the thing he feels he was born to. He'll do anything to get back to life and do that thing, even for a single night. He’s consumed by this desire so much that he's oblivious to the people around him, unable to connect to the people he loves, and unable to find joy in anything but his dream. And man, as a young writer who knows in their heart of hearts they can do great things and feels pain at the idea of not doing so, that hits different let me tell you.

The lessons Joe learns from #22 even stick. It turns out that part of what caused Joe’s dream to fail all those time was because of that lack of connection with life. He never presented himself in a way that got people to take notice of him, he never pushed for that position he wanted even though people said no, he never made himself and his life so vibrant that he glowed in the eyes of others (and again, that hits different). That’s maybe the most simplistic message of the bunch, but as a person in the creative field it’s true that sometimes being the smartest person in the room isn’t enough: it’s making himself shine that ultimately clinches Joe the gig even after he almost lost it thanks to the day’s shenanigans.

But in the end, it doesn’t feel like he thought he would.

Remember when I said there are parts where the movie comes perilously close to kiboshing its message? That moment is one, it’s the one. Not that that moment is bad - far from it, it’s the best moment in the entire movie (and you can fight me on that if you want to). It’s because it’s the crossroads, the pin, the core of the entire film: depending on the choice they made after that point, that moment could have either been the best moment in the entire movie, or the moment that toppled everything.

The realization of Joe’s dream doesn’t feel like the explosion of confetti and catharsis that he expected. It was just another moment of his life, a great one, but it’s still just part of his life. So what does Joe do? Does he panic? Does he keep going until it feels good? Does he - as he would in a lesser movie trying to give a cookie cutter aesop - immediately quit and realize he should’ve been teaching all along? No, he does none of those things. He absorbs the moment. He realizes that at the end of the dream you’re still just living life, and that you have to appreciate that. Joe isn’t wrong for pursuit of his dream. He’s not wrong for believing that hopes and dreams make life so much more worthwhile. He’s wrong in thinking that those dreams are all that define us, and that their realization is all that makes people themselves worthwhile at all.

And in the end - though I may be getting a bit too referential for this - the unexamined life is just so much less fulfilling than the alternative.

And all that a message and a half! It hits different. It’s mature as all heck. It’s something people my age (especially in my generation), twice my age, half my age never learn. It’s a callsign that sometimes Pixar is still make movies for the people who were kids way back when Toy Story was released, and are now insecure adults wondering why the world isn’t as wonderful as they saw on the screen. It’s brilliant. I said before that Joe interprets the “Spark” to be one’s purpose in life. The one thing that makes them who they are, that they are on the planet to do. He is wrong, absolutely and utterly. And in that misconception, when #22 finally does get their Spark just from being on Earth and seeing what its life, he accuses them of leeching self-actualization over his own personal ambitions, fully believing that they didn’t find a “purpose" on her own, but just copied his. But the Spark, as it turns out, is just the joy of living, the thing that makes people want to live. It can come from a dream, or just from watching the beauty of the sun set over a leaf drifting in the wind. Only in understanding this can Joe finally understand what he’s been missing in life, only then can he reconcile with #22 and help her finally be born, only then can he walk into the world and know how he’s going to live it.

We never find out what Joe decides, whether he goes back to teaching, or continues with the band. The choice is open to him, but we never find out which one he takes - another choice that keeps the aesop from falling apart. The point of all of that wasn’t that Joe has to do one thing or another to be happy, it was that Joe needs to be happy and secure in himself before he chooses what his life should be. Either of those could make him happy. Neither of those could. But now he’s in a much better place to see it, and do what he can.

We also never find out what #22 is like when she (or he, etc) is born. The two of them never meet past the point where #22 goes to Earth. Their time together has passed, and #22′s life is now their own. And that’s a great choice either. I’ve seen the occasional person feel that the choice made in this paragraph or noted in the previous one made the story confusing, but they’re ultimately what make the story what it is. The answer isn’t the necessity of resolution, its the reaffirmation of the journey. It reminds me somewhat of Wreck-It Ralph (an example of the main Disney Studio delivering a complex aesop, rather Pixar delivering them all), where being a villain wasn’t Ralph’s problem - it was that he wasn’t happy doing the thing he loved. You have to live, from living you will learn, and from learning you will do. The sheer incredible execution of this message (as you may have guessed, it’s a fairly difficult one to relay adequately in a film narrative, and the movie goes non-traditional in conclusion to maintain it) would have made this film a recommend for me even if it wasn't also beautifully animated, very well acted, funny (there’s a Knicks joke that floored me), heartwarming and relatable. But it’s also all of those things, so I have to recommend it twice as much. It is, regrettably, another movie with a black lead where the lead spends most of it transfigured into a form that’s not a black person (a soul, and then a cat), and I’ve already seen some grumbling that instead for much of it a character explicitly coded as a white woman is in his body instead, but I perceive that as an issue that’s endemic to the industry than a fault in this movie specifically. Everyone does that, but this is the only movie I’ve seen where doing that is an essential part of how the narrative develops the characters (Joe has to not be himself in order to understand his life from an outside perspective, a la Scrooge as a ghost watching his own history), and so I don’t scorn the movie for it. I, however, would very much like Hollywood to start doing that less, and - hey - as a prospective writer that’s one of those things I plan to do my part to combat. This movie, however, gets a pass in my book in ways that the general usage of this concept does not. In short, you should see it. If you get the chance to see it right now, you should take it to feel good at the end of this incredibly insane year. If you don’t want to have to sign up for Disney+ to see it now, I get you and understand, but if you get a chance to see it later do not pass it up. It’s one of the few movies I’ve watched that are an instant buy when it becomes available on digital - and the last time a movie did that for me was BlacKKKlansman. Whatever you choose to do, do it well. Keep the spirit alive, always keep searching for the real you - because it’s not always easy to find, but it’s worth looking for - and always remember that you could always have a little soul.

[jcmorrigan]

What movie or tv show scared you the most?

OH HEEHEEHEEEEEE MY TIME HAS COME

I think this was probably the sign I was meant to be a horror fan, because I'm gonna talk about two movies here and neither one is a standard horror film. Now, I avoided horror films like the plague, but I now realize that's because of my aversion to jumpscares and gore, which have very little to do with actual scary stuff. I feared actual horror imagery as a small child, but basically once I read Coraline it all just turned around because that book gave me nightmares but I actually WANTED those nightmares and kept going back to the book. So what are the movies I just COULD NOT contend with?

First up, I have found that a lot of people have said this one, but really and truly, fuck Chicken Run.

I was...maybe ten when I watched it. Signed up for a goofy claymation adventure. What did I get? First of all, a whole lot of bleak color palette that warned me that this was not going to be a happy story. We are then shown the stakes right away: our entire main cast lives in a dystopian prison and if they do not find a way to escape, they will die. One DOES die. This is where a lot of people say they noped out right away, but actually, the execution of the dinner chicken in the first scene was tame for me compared to what would come next.

The pie machine. It's assembled, it's talked about, and eventually our two leads fall into it in a way that is designed to be fatal. Look, there are a ton of horror tropes in this scene alone. I haven't seen it SINCE THE ONE AIRING and I can still vividly tell you a lot of this. And if I walked into a horror film and asked for this, I'd come out super satisfied, but I was not expecting horror from this. First of all, I remember vividly the shot where you're looking from Ginger's POV falling down the shaft and the divider comes up to shunt her into the "meat" line. It's incredibly claustrophobic and you just get this almost jumpscare reminder that the character through whose eyes you see is regarded as nothing more than meat to be consumed. There is then an array of blades designed for close calls, and dough that essentially glues the lead characters down to a conveyor belt so they have to helplessly watch the death machines that are coming. Sticky stuff that roots you to one spot; that's another thing that just REALLY unnerves me and I love it if I'm reading CreepyPasta but I was not reading CreepyPasta; I was watching a children's film. The leads escape certain death by jamming the gravy system, causing the machine to overload on pressure, and here I feel like I should've been relieved that they escaped but instead I was the most unsettled of all when the pressure meter started climbing. I don't know if this film *gave* me a phobia of industrial accidents or if it just awakened what was already in my OCD little brain, but suffice to say that after this movie, I was hyper-aware of my own fear of things like hissing steam, rising pressure meters, and being in a room where large metal things were clanking. (I'm since over it; I've been exposed to it in enough things.)

Now, I was no quitter. I should have just noped out. But I didn't. I continued to traumatize myself. The next part of the film until the climax I don't remember so well - it wasn't as traumatizing - EXCEPT for the part where Ginger finds and rebuilds Rocky's circus poster. And now, as an adult, I can see how that was kinda supposed to be funny, like, "The goddamn chicken padded his résumé and the way they found this out was a circus poster." But little me was invested in these chickens, I wanted them to be happy, and what I saw was basically their death notice being signed with that scrap of paper with a cannon on it. I FELT that in my bones.

STILL NOT HAVING THE GOOD SENSE TO JUST EJECT THE TAPE ALREADY, I proceeded to the climax, in which what happens to Tweedy might be one of the most fucking awful things I've seen ever? Pinned upside-down in a superheated, confined space with rising liquid from below as the pressure meter starts climbing again. And her husband arrives just in time to see her like this but not in time to actually stop the explosion. Thank God it didn't actually kill her because even though I was already traumatized, that would've absolutely made it worse.

Thing is, ever since this movie scared the absolute shit out of me - and was probably the cause of the weird stomachaches I had for A WEEK after - I've kinda had this thing about reclaiming the scary parts and stomping on them while laughing maniacally. I feel like every time I've done a crossover project, there's been a temptation to write in an arc where the mains go up against THE PIE MACHINE and fucking win. And also there's whump with tons of comfort in my version to mitigate it all. I haven't done any such thing for TBTC...YET. But I know what I must do. I know who must destroy the machine and the Tweedys along with it. Buckle your seatbelts.

My final word before I move on is that as I ascend into adulthood, I think that for the most part, a rewatch of this film wouldn't traumatize me so badly. It'd still be gross and creepy in a way I think shouldn't be sent to children without warning, but I could deal with the imagery, maybe enjoy using it as whump fuel even more, maybe my horror side would really get into the peril this time. But the one thing I've realized is that this premise is fucked EVEN MORE if you're a grown-up, because as a child, you're sympathizing with the chickens. You want them to get free of this death camp environment. But as an adult, you start to realize that all Tweedy wanted to do was be a chicken farmer who sold pie, and her supposedly nonsentient animals ganged up on her in a display of unheard-of intellect among farm stock. This would then lead to her undergoing at least one near-death fate. Think about being a farmer in our world and the animals you keep GANG UP ON YOU LIKE PEOPLE because you're killing them for food. No thank you, no THANK you.

But surely this was a one-of-a-kind phenomenon. Surely, after this...after so many other people agreed with me; "Fuck Chicken Run"...no animation studio would ever pull shit like this again.

I had hoped that was the case until Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.

This is one I don't actually see lambasted as often. Maybe because the Chicken Run trauma crew grew thicker skins before this movie. I only sort of did. Maybe because no one ever actually invested in this film, having already predicted how much it would be garbage from the dumb humor in the trailers. Oh, but not me. I was a fool. Also my family picked it for a movie night so my fate was sealed anyway.

The original book is actually pretty frightening on its own. Food falls from the sky in such great numbers that it starts to destroy the world. Okay, that's terrifying. But kind of in the alluring way. I would keep coming back to the one page about the giant pancake on the school because the way it was drawn unsettled me so, with something huge and immovable blocking off the way to a building that usually has hundreds of innocent children inside. The film built on this and made it a thousand times worse.

Let's start with the goddamn Spray-On Shoe. Our main character is a mad scientist (but the good kind, apparently) whose list of bumbling failed experiments dates back to when he was a child and invented a spray you could put on your feet to coat them in shoes. He then gets laughed at because he didn't engineer a way to get the shoes off, and runs home in humiliation. Guys, the teasing/bullying factor is...not the most worrying thing about this story. There's a throwaway line about how Flint wears THE SAME SHOES into adulthood because to that day they simply cannot be removed. This seems like an incredibly urgent medical problem? Having your feet encased in the same rubber for years? The same rubber as when you're a kid? I just found myself thinking "What if my shoes never came off one day" and that terrifies me, okay? It's stupid and it's silly and it scares me. Even more than that, though, is the canonization of a polymer in this universe that can be sprayed on sticky and will literally never break no matter what you do to it, because that goes back to the pie machine dough principle. Being glued to a surface permanently is inherently terrifying and we'll go over this later because this is not the last fuckin time the glue shoes get brought up.

Flint invents a food-spewing machine. It ends up in the sky. He rides his popularity as it rains larger and larger food down upon the town and also the world. Most of this film up until the climax is unsettling but not AWFUL. Where it starts to go to shit is when Flint realizes his machine is too dangerous and shuts it off, only for the town's local greedy politician to switch it back on into an apocalyptic mode. So can we start with "Local town finds out its elected official is willing to sabotage their well-being in order to capitalize on the fame of a disaster-causing object?". Like, the whole film would've been solved so much sooner if there hadn't been a saboteur in the works - not a fun campy villain, mind you, but a saboteur who exists to drive the plot to the scary place. But I guess we need that narrative tension to justify having a film in the first place, so fine, I'll ride it out.

The main crew saddles up to fly out to the machine, which is now encased in a FLESH LABYRINTH of food, and...I'm just gonna rapid-fire the shit that happens at this part:

-The food turns sentient in order to defend itself. The cute animal sidekick brutally dismembers an army of gummy bears that is fully sentient and rips them apart to devour them.

-We enter the flesh labyrinth and it's exactly as much a horror RPG setting as you think it is.

-Now sentient cooked chickens besiege the party. The comic relief character is consumed by one, only to kill it from the inside and decide to WEAR ITS SKIN in what is seen as his defining character arc's conclusion. Wearing the skin of a dead monster allows him to forge his new identity.

-One of our party has to go back because of a tight passage lined with her deadly allergen, causing her to undergo anaphylaxis after an accidental mild nick. In the flesh labyrinth.

-The entire horrific journey is instantly INVALIDATED when it turns out that instead of the kill code for the machine, all Flint has is a file of a cat video. Which he finds out as the town is about to be obliterated off the face of the earth.

-So he solves it by jamming the works with the spray-on shoe and DID I NOT JUST GO OVER HOW HORRIFIC INDUSTRIAL EXPLOSIONS ARE IN KIDS' MOVIES? DID I NOT? ARE WE REALLY DOING THIS AGAIN? Anyway it's canonical proof that NOTHING can break the shoe glue and I should be happy for the town and happy that there's no more flesh labyrinth of living meat but instead I'm just terrified because of the door we have opened. We have imparted the existence of an indestructible sticky polymer upon the world.

-It's later seen used in a credits sequence to repair damaged houses. Which, first of all, given its flexible nature, is fuckin stupid. It won't serve as an actual wall. Second, that got me thinking about construction accidents involving the fuckin shoe glue. If that stuff gets dripped on a person's face -

-So then cue me sitting awake in bed later thinking wide-eyed about Cloudy with a Chance of Fucking Meatballs and realizing that this compound that is essentially a chemical weapon in the making is now in the hands of the mayor who deliberately caused an apocalyptic event over the town because he wanted the food rain. And THAT'S not going to lead to pretty circumstances.

I think you'll see that a lot of my fears with these two movies is "THINK OF THE IMPLICATIONS!" and I think that just shows how my mind works and why I'm drawn to fanfic so much. I'm all about diving into a universe, exploring its corners, analyzing it to death.

And with the industrial horror stuff, I kinda wanna bring it around to two other films that actually really subverted my expectations and made it fun. 102 Dalmatians was a fave of mine through middle school, but I remember when the climax took us to a big ol' factory and I got plumb nervous. After the usual blades and ovens of horror, the fact that it concludes with Cruella basically wearing a cake and a lengthy montage of the dogs kicking toppings onto her is just one of the most wholesome imageries. She survived the thing and now you get to watch her be decorated Lisa Frank style by her victims who are more interested in humiliation than murder, and I love that.

But maybe more prevalent is that I'm well aware that if certain filmography or plot points had been handled in different ways, The Boxtrolls might've actually frightened the ever-loving fuck out of me what with all the industrial stuff and medical horror, but I just...felt like that film was holding my hand the whole way through going "It's okay." The industrial stuff was framed in a way that was just campy enough and yet also taken seriously. Putting a really charismatic villain - ACTUAL VILLAIN, NOT CHICKEN FARMER OR CORRUPT POLITICIAN SABOTEUR - at the wheel was just such a mitigating factor that it gelled the whole thing together and I ended up LOVING what was done with giant machines and garbage crushers and explosions. And as for the medical body horror, I really appreciate how it was so baked in that Snatcher did that to himself - that everyone, EVERYONE warned him "Do not do this, you will probably die, I'm serious, bad fucking idea" up to the point of Eggs trying to plead him during an anaphylaxis attack, one last time, DO NOT continue down this path, we can find a way to heal you psychologically and get you some self-fulfillment. And Snatcher fully chooses hubris over the many, many opportunities offered him to be able to step down onto a safer path and that removes the fear and pulls it more into a tragedy for the villain. Not at all the same thing as "Sam the reporter is trying to save the world and doing her best until a fixture of the landscape accidentally sends her into anaphylaxis."

(Oh, and by the way, can I just - when I do see CWACOM brought up these days, it's always in the context of "This is the one movie where the guy tells the girl it's okay to look nerdy!". Well, no, not the way I remember it. The way I remember it, Sam basically tells Flint "I used to have really tacky style but have since changed it up of my own volition" and Flint is just like "NOOOOO YOU NEED TO WEAR GLASSES AND A SCRUNCHIE. I WANT A HOT NERD GIRL." This could've been pulled off right with some more introspection into female beauty standards, even in a tongue-in-cheek way, but right now it really looks like Sam just wanted to make herself more glam for a new image and Flint bullied her into regressing her style. Which I've also realized meant he bullied her into dressing more like she did as a teenager and normally I think that kind of shit is just "You're overthinking it" but since it's CWACOM and I spelled it out on paper like that, I'm just now realizing how that can be seen as pretty...icky.)

The one saving grace of CWACOM is that I was older by that time, and so it didn't affect me as hard as Chicken Run. But I still hold it dearly to my heart as one of the MOST DISTURBING movies I know, and by "dearly" I mean "fuck this movie, really and truly." I want to extend my thanks to 102D and Boxtrolls for giving me industrial-horror-based climaxes that were actually really comfortable, and again, probably what drove both of these was the fact that we had a campy diva villain in the lead for the potential scary stuff to surround and radiate off. Not a fuckin...ordinary chicken farmer who is just trying to make bank but is somehow passed as a Nazi allegory for trying to live her life as a farmer? I dunno, maybe if I rewatched that film I'd see she has a thirst for human blood too, and if I could fix fic Chicken Run my first order of business would be to give her a thirst for human blood instead of/in addition to chickens.

Anyway. Fuck both these films, EXCEPT for the fact that traumatizing scenarios can always be recast as whump material, and the next time I wanna do some crossover aftercare from a physically and psychologically damaging mission, I have a pie machine and a flesh labyrinth to exploit. REALLY HEAVY ON THAT AFTERCARE COMFORT THOUGH!

[marvella15]

Astaire & Rogers Rewatch Part 8: Carefree

• Ah Carefree. Another film with a lot of weird, extraneous crap in it that detracts from what we’re all actually here for: Astaire and Rogers together and dancing. 

• Surprisingly, this odd movie has a song and dance I especially like, “Change Partners.” It also has the first on-screen romantic kiss between Astaire and Rogers. But we’ll get to that. 

• Our character/actors: Dr. Tony Flagg (Fred Astaire), Amanda (Ginger Rogers), Stephen (Ralph Bellamy), Cora (Luella Gear)

• I’m not up on Ralph Bellamy’s filmography but in every movie I’ve ever seen him in, he’s the guy who loses the girl to the bigger male star. 

• Now I’m no expert but it seems like if your fiancé breaks off your engagement three times, there might be some actual issues in your relationship. And I don’t think those issues boil down to just “the girl I like won’t marry me.”

• For the first time in one of these films, Astaire’s character isn’t a dancer or musician by profession. He’s a psychiatrist… who used to be a dancer. Gotta have some reason why he’s so dang elegant and talented. 

Not a fan of his notes on a patient that indicate she’s a “typical pampered female” who doesn’t need a doctor but rather “a good spanking.” 

Right after this, he describes Amanda, whom he hasn’t met, in very unflattering terms, including that she probably doesn’t have a brain. Here’s a diagnosis, Dr. Flagg. You’re a misogynist. 

Already we can see some issues with Carefree. 1938 may have been a different time but nothing about Astaire’s character is charming, kind, or anything we’d want Rogers to be paired with.

• I do like that as usual Rogers’ character doesn’t stand for any crap. She doesn’t give one single eff about his questions or his attempts to chat with her and then she storms out. 

• Astaire spent two weeks rehearsing the golf solo (aka "Since They Turned 'Loch Lomond' into Swing"), during which he did a thousand swings. The actual number took two and a half days to film. 

Surely it helped that he was an avid golfer already. In addition to horse racing, it was one of his favorites hobbies. 

It goes without saying that he hits a golf ball better in the midst of a dance than I could on a driving range. 

It also probably goes without saying that the only reason Tony does this number is because his ego is insulted by Amanda. 

• Rogers looks particularly fab in her shorts during the bicycle scenes. 

• Amanda begins to warm up to Tony after seeing he has talents besides psychoanalysis and insulting women he hasn’t met. But she only truly starts to like him after he makes an idiot of himself by crashing his bike into a bush. 

• Cora thinks that Tony sent her a gigolo?? And she’s totally on board with it?? And she drinks something this random man (who we know is Tony’s assistant) hands her???

• “I Used to be Color Blind” has a lot of potential that it doesn’t live up to imo. As you might guess by the song and the way the scene is filmed, this sequence was supposed to be in color. But, depending on who you ask, either the studio felt it was too expensive or the color tests looked horrible so it was scrapped. Either way, it’s a shame. Audiences had to wait over ten years to see Astaire and Rogers dancing in color.

• I’m also not wild about the slow motion, which seems a bit goofy. However, it does let us better appreciate the talent and mastery of Astaire and Rogers. For example, when he lifts her in a spin, her feet don’t touch the ground again for a while and they both make it seem effortless. 

• Soooo the Kiss. I know I’ve been banging the kiss kiss kiss drum for a few movies now. But this almost isn’t that satisfying? Now, I would say that this could’ve been intentional on Astaire’s part since he (and maybe his wife?) was the one opposed to any on-screen clinches and preferred the romance and intimacy to be in the dances. But, Astaire wasn’t comfortable with even this finished product, according to both his account and Rogers’. The slow-motion made what was really just a peck on the lips seem like much more, which he felt made up for all of the kisses he hadn’t given her in their previous films. So it seems unlikely he had any hand in intentionally making it unsatisfying. 

More likely, it’s that of all of the scenes, songs, dances, and movies for a kiss to happen, this isn’t the one I would’ve picked. A peck on the lips during “The Continental” would’ve been perfect, or a delicate kiss after “Cheek to Cheek” or a passionate one after “Never Gonna Dance.” Just a few places I wish we’d seen a kiss rather than (or in addition to) here.

All of that said, I will say that there’s something very fitting that in the scene Rogers is the one to lean up and kiss him rather than him being the proactive one. That’s very fitting for their off-screen dynamic too where he was far more shy and reserved. And I do like that it’s clearly an intimate kiss, as evidenced by the way she wraps her arms around his back. 

• Two years before she would win her historic Oscar, Hattie McDaniel appears in Carefree in an uncredited role as a maid.

• When Amanda next meets with Tony, she is conflicted about telling him about her dream where she was very clearly in love with him and not boring old Steve. Her sweater conveys her struggle. It has arrows piercing an embroidered heart over her actual heart. 

• Amanda’s invented dream is insane but who hasn’t made up ridiculous excuses to stay around their crush? But kids, don’t go so far as being put under anesthesia. 

• The whole period where Amanda is still drugged and acting weird is absolutely something I typically skip, even though Rogers does a good job with the slapstick.

• “The Yam” harkens back to previous numbers like “The Piccolino” or “The Continental.” Even though it feels almost a bit outdated at this point, it’s a fun, upbeat number in an otherwise somewhat dull film. 

• I like that Astaire drops the acting after a few seconds. He’s just himself for most of this dance and looks like he’s having the most fun he has at any point in this movie. Rogers is also all smiles and looks marvelous. 

• I also like that they dance around so much of the lodge and use much of the scenery as part of the number. 

• Some fun lyrics:

“I didn’t come to do the Charleston” - Rogers got her start in entertainment by winning a Charleston contest when she was 14.

“I didn’t come to ball the jack” - Five years later, Judy Garland will perform a superb number called “Ballin’ the Jack” in For Me and My Gal with a promising new musical star: Gene Kelly. 

• Gotta give it up for the EIGHT times they do the move where his leg is up on the table and she leaps over it. 

• She is undoubtedly whispering something to him when they start to slow dance. 

• Rogers is a really wonderful actress. She does a stellar job when Amanda tells Tony she’s actually in love with him.

• Look, I get that Tony’s trying to find a way out of a situation wherein his friend’s fiancé has fallen in love with him and plans to break it off with his friend, but telling Amanda she’s imagining her feelings is pretty crappy of him. Hypnotizing her so she’ll hate him and marry Steve instead is pretty stupid. 

But once again, Rogers does a fab job in this scene. Hypnotized or not, she’s obviously devastated and cries even while pretending to be in a trance. 

• “Kiss her, you dope!” is what I’ve been saying for seven movies. 

• Some light gun violence humor here in 1938.

• I assume it’s an in-joke that the judge’s last name is Travers, which was the last name of Astaire’s character in Gay Divorcee.

• We already knew Steve was hapless trash but refusing to allow Amanda to choose her own future and instead leaving her hypnotized and getting a restraining order against his friend to prevent Tony and Amanda from ever getting together is a new low.

• Unsurprisingly, the most enduring song from this film is “Change Partners,” which was nominated for an Oscar. It’s also one of my favorites and frequently gets stuck in my head. 

• At least Steve’s stupidity is used against him. Tony literally sings exactly what he’s going to do (“I’ll tell the waiter to tell him he’s wanted on the telephone”) and yet Steve still falls for it. 

• For the third(?) time in this film, Rogers must pretend to be in a trance, this time dancing to Astaire’s hypnotic hands. But not long in, she clearly breaks through a bit because she becomes more of a participant. She grabs his hand when it’s on her waist and melts into his arms when they embrace. 

• “Change Partners” as a dance is incredibly intimate. That’s not so unusual for Astaire and Rogers’ romantic duets but it’s a tad unusual in this particular film where, despite that kiss, they’ve hardly had any romantic interactions. And yet in this dance, they are frequently very close together, his lips hover near hers more than once, and it’s all very slow. In fact, they very nearly kiss a few times. To me it’s further proof that as long-awaited as the earlier kiss was, there were and are better places for it, such as right here.

• Amanda really gets a raw deal. Sure she gets to marry the man she actually loves. But in the process, she nearly shoots him and others, gets arrested, is subjected to a variety of psychological experiments, and then gets punched in the face on her wedding day. 

• During this rewatch I’ve been surprised how much I’ve enjoyed certain films I don’t watch as much, like Gay Divorcee, but Carefree is pretty much how I remember it. Very little worth rewatching, except “The Yam” and “Change Partners.”

• Up next is the last RKO production Astaire and Rogers made and the end of their partnership… for now. It’s The Story of Vernon and Irene Castle.

[sir-silly]

The Last War fan review

So, our beloved show has ended. And while I wish things would have gone differently, I did cry with relief when Clarke looked over and saw everyone already waiting for her.

Anyway, I wanted to share some of my thoughts on the finale.

1) Going right into the title sequence kind of shocked me. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but I was just immediately like “oh.” It was a bitch-slap in the face that they left a gap in the credits for Bob Morley. Why you gotta do us like that?

2) Murphy screaming “come on” while they used the defibrillator on Emori was heartbreaking. And his little whispered encouragements were so freaking cute.

3) Clarke rampage? Yes, please! I love me a badass woman. However, unlimited ammo is a sin in writing. The moment Octavia picked up the sword was a big “oh yes.”

4) Did Cadogan not care about his son like at all? Lmao. Why is he so hung up on Callie and not his other kid (who I can’t even remember the name of). I don’t care if they explain in the prequel, that’s still a shitty parent choosing favorites. Along with his wife, like, was she not his greatest love? It was Callie? Kinda fucked up.

5) Why the fuck could Jordan figure out it was a test and not a war in 5 seconds when the Disciples were studying that shit for decades? I know he’s Monty’s son, but he’s not a genius or anything.

6) Thoughts on the test: I think Cadogan would have failed and the human race would be destroyed. Why bother asking questions if you already know all the answers?

7) Why wasn’t Gaia in the finale like at all?? Like, what the fuck. She was hunting??? For what?? That really annoyed me because I’ve grown to really like her and there was no point in her not being involved in the last episode. They seriously couldn’t have thrown her in there? Like, come on! Even Niylah was there! (not saying that I don’t like her, it’s just that Gaia has felt far more important to the story than her).

8) I do think that Jasper and Hope are cute together, and I know they spent the majority of their lives either alone or only with their parents, but GOD I can’t stand how awkward they are. Also, I know ya’ll have feelings for each other and shit, but is now really the time to be making out?? Why do people think that’s okay in literally the worst situations? I know it’s a show, but come on.

9) And how the fuck did Jordan throw and catch that sword? He’s a child who’s never fought a day in his life. Unless they suddenly want to tell me that Harper and Monty were secret ninjas and taught him all their tricks, I don’t believe that.

10) I’m being pissy and bringing up things from the past, but I don’t care. Why the fuck couldn’t Harper and Monty gone into cryo? I know they were happy and shit, but I’M NOT. How the fuck did it take so long for him to get into the files for Sanctum? His ass has done that shit a thousand times before in about two minutes and suddenly it takes him 80 years? Bullshit.

11) I’m still being pissy, but how the fuck does Jordan know what a magician is? “For my first trick, I will make an army appear.” Bruh, no. Monty wouldn’t have known what a magician was either. If they weren’t being taught what a Navy Seal was, there’s no way they knew what magicians were. Calling bullshit on that one as well.

12) I was pretty surprised that the Disciples didn’t start firing on Wonkru immediately. Like, this is the war they’ve been gearing up for forever and they don’t attack as soon as possible? Also, where the fuck did Wonkru get their war paint? Do they just constantly have it on their person? Or did their asses literally spend time making their paint before going to Bardo?

13) I fucking love Miller and Jackson. They’re freaking adorable. Murphy’s flat “I am glad you are safe” was so fucking funny. Also, saving Emori in one scene just to kill her in the next is bullshit. They should have just killed her the first time and done the same thing anyway. Murphy screaming at Jackson to do something and sobbing was heartbreaking. Fantastic acting on Richard Harmon’s part.

14)  Octavia putting on Lincoln’s same warpaint again was once again, so sad. I miss that man. He was too good for his own good. And while I do think that her and Levitt are very cute together, I’ll always prefer her with Lincoln. But I think that he would be really happy that she has found someone new to love.

15) Apparently whatever Echo “did” to Levitt was so forgettable that I don’t even know what she’s talking about. Bad writing. I shouldn’t forget that in just a few weeks, I should remember as soon as I see the two of them in the same room.

16) Lexa. Just all of it. There were some suspicions that she would show up for the last episode, but I didn’t really believe them because I didn’t understand how she would be integrated. I’m glad that they did bring her back, but I’m also not. It was amazing to see her back by Clarke in all of her armor and glory, but knowing it wasn’t actually Lexa was just a punch in the face. It wasn’t her mind, so it’s almost like they didn’t bring her back anyway. I honestly would have preferred if they used someone else for her Judge, because that just really didn’t do it for me. Their hug was sweet, but it didn’t even count as her returning. I personally think that her Judge should have been Bellamy or Madi instead, as they both certainly could fill the role of “the subject’s greatest teacher or the source of their greatest failure...it can be their greatest love.” This is just my preference. Believe me, I know how much Lexa meant to Clarke, but as a fan, bringing our favorite Heda back in that way wasn’t the best way to do it. As a writer, it makes sense, but it doesn’t as a fan. The writers can’t just think of what is the best storytelling, they have to think of what those watching will think.

17) I’m confused about the mindspace? Why did Clarke wake up in her solitary room with her memories painted all over the walls, but Emori woke up in the castle with a view of the desert? Why wouldn’t it have been her and Murphy’s cave? Is there a reason it was the bedroom and not the cave?

18) I know this isn’t canon in any sense, but could you imagine if Murphy and Emori fought over John’s body and she won, and then suddenly woke up with a penis? How fucking funny would that be? Just had to throw that out there.

19) Can I just again reiterate how fucking cute Miller and Jackson are?

20) I’m curious about the location of the test. Why did Cadogan’s take place on a pier, while Raven’s happened on the Ark? If it was their favorite place, wouldn’t Raven’s have been actually out in space? Like during a spacewalk? I’m confused about that.

21) I knew that Raven was somehow going to be involved in the test just because of the trailers we got for the final episode. My two guesses for who the judge would be were Finn and Abby. Though I am happy that we got to see Abby again, I would be curious to see if the scene would have played out any differently if it had been Finn.

22) Where was the full line that was given in the trailer? Because that was amazing. “We’re selfish, and we’re violent, and we have destroyed too much, but we survived.” I loved that line far more than what we got instead, which was simply, “Have we made mistakes? Yes. Clarke, me, all of us, but we were just trying to survive.” I definitely would have chosen the former over the latter. Poor choice on the editors’ parts.

23) How the fuck did Octavia and Echo go out to the field and get Levitt with Echo only being shot once? With all the bullets, the three of them should have been torn apart, I don’t care how much Indra could cover Octavia. Calling bullshit on that as well.

24) Bringing this up kind of late because I’m giving my reviews as I’m rewatching the episode, but what they had Eliza do was really fucked up. Her and Bob suffered a miscarriage during the filming of season seven, so the scene of her holding Madi and crying “my baby” is like 10 times more heartbreaking. If they made her film that after having a miscarriage mere days, weeks or few months before, that’s really, really messed up.

25) They really played-up Sheidheda’s bringing back of “jus drein jus daun” in the trailer. In reality, it was far less intense. I would have preferred what I had been expecting, which was him coming to help convince Wonkru that they would be able to win. However, I am super glad that he is dead and Indra finally got to kill him. I love how that bigass gun just turns people into mist lol.

26) The beginning of Octavia’s speech was literally like “what the FUCK guys” and it was hilarious. And I swear to god if I hear her say “we are Wonkru” or “you are Wonkru” another time, I’m gonna scream. I know it was legit the last episode but I’m sick of it by now lol. When Indra was like “I hope you know what you’re doing,” Octavia’s face was just like “omg me too” and it was really funny.

27) Bellamy. His situation was a whole problem itself. He deserved a hell of a lot better and wHY DID HE CUT HIS HAIR I LIKED IT THE LONG WAY. Anyway, you can bet your ass I’ll be writing a different ending where he didn’t die because FUCK THAT. When I do, I’ll be sure to share it.

28) I’m fucking confused about Murphy and Emori both transcending. Because, what the fuck. Emori died. The dead don’t transcend. Her mind wasn’t even in her body, it was in Murphy’s. So how the fuck did she end up alive and in her own body again. I’m glad she’s alive, but I just don’t understand. It would have made way more sense to have either not had her die in the first place, or to have Murphy, Miller, and Jackson keep pumping her heart so she technically “lived” anyway like Echo.

29) If Madi had decided not to transcend, would she still have been paralyzed? I mean, I would assume not because Levitt and Hope’s gunshots were healed, as was Emori, but I’m curious. Also, wouldn’t Raven’s leg have been fixed? Because if they only fix recent wounds and not old ones, that’s stupid.

30) On the point of Madi deciding not to transcend, why did she? Why didn’t so many other people choose not to? Like, not one Eligius prisoner or person from Sanctum chose to live? No one else from Wonkru? Why didn’t anyone else other than the main cast and guest stars not transcend? I totally understand the Disciples transcending, but seriously, nobody else wanted to live? That’s really weird. Madi and her friends really couldn’t have chosen to live on Earth with Clarke and the others? I just think it’s really unrealistic that not one single person outside of the group chose not to transcend.

31) I was really surprised that Murphy and Emori chose not to transcend, because as the Judge said, they would eventually die and not join them in the infinite. It shocked me due to their fear of dying and wanting to be immortal, but I’m really proud of them.

32) I’m disappointed that those who don’t transcend can’t have children. There were suspicions that Emori might have been pregnant (which were never confirmed), but the idea of her and Murphy having a kid together was adorable. They’d have their teeny tiny families with those two, Hope and Jordan, and Octavia and Levitt.

33) This isn’t as much me pointing out a problem as me wondering, what was Clarke going to say to the Judge when she turned around? What else did she have to say or ask? Was it about Madi? Or maybe Lexa? Or just transcending in general?

34) It’s pretty shitty that some of our questions went unanswered due to the fact that there will be a prequel. On the other hand, I live for lore, so I’m just glad that they eventually will be answered. But still, that doesn’t excuse shitty writing.

35) I want to see a stupid edit of Picasso taking the test where the Judge is Madi.

I think we all know that season seven was really not what we wanted it to be. We’ve been really disappointed by the writers and unfortunately, this is what we got out of it. I believe they really could have done a better job, but I am at least glad that everyone ended up together.

The writing was lacking. Too many questions were left unanswered, I don’t care if you’re making a sequel or not. Plot holes. It really could have been a good season if it was done better.

My ranking of the seasons is as follows: 3, 2, 4, 1, 6, 5, 7. Seasons 4 and 1 are kind of interchangeable for me in spots three and four, as are 6 and 5 in the two spots behind them, whatever the order may be.

But I still love the show. I love the characters, their development, and many things about it. It has been quite the journey and I am glad to have been a fan of the show.

May we meet again.

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE SERIES: My Favorite One Piece Arc with Maffew

  I love One Piece and I love talking to people who love One Piece. And with the series going on 23 years now, there is a whole lot to talk about. As the series is about to publish its 1000th chapter, a true feat in and of itself, we thought we should reflect upon the high-seas adventure and sit down with some notable names in the One Piece fan community and chat about the arcs they found to be especially important, or just ones they really, really liked.

  Welcome to the next article in the series "My Favorite One Piece Arc!"

  My next guest in this series is Maffew, creator of the popular pro wrestling web series Botchamania. For my chat with him, he chose the Alabasta Arc, in which Luffy and his crew not only have to save a desert kingdom but also topple Baroque Works and its powerful leader Crocodile.

  A note on spoilers: If you haven't seen the Alabasta arc yet, this interview does contain major plot points. Watch the Alabasta arc starting RIGHT HERE if you'd like to catch up or rewatch!

    Dan Dockery: So I guess my first basic question is, let’s say for some reason, I got to the end of Drum Island and I said “Well, One Piece ends here for me. This seems like a good finale.” What would you tell me to keep me going into the Alabasta Arc in one sentence?

  Maffew: Well, after Chopper has made all the kids cry, you’ll need pickin’ up.

  That’s pretty good! What was the impetus for you getting into One Piece? What made you want to jump into an anime that’s nearly one thousand episodes long at this point?

  I think I tried watching it on YouTube back in 2009, and I just couldn’t get into it. At that point in my life, I wasn’t ready for a character like Luffy and his adventures, and I couldn’t wait for the villains he fought to kill him. So I dropped it. A year later, I’m in Germany and this wrestler ACH was doing a Q&A panel for this German wrestling organization called WXW. And ACH is a REALLY big One Piece fan, and even dresses up as Luffy in New Japan and Ring of Honor. And I was like “Hey, you watching JoJo?” because that was my thing at the time, and he was like “No, no. Just One Piece.” I said, “What else are you watching?” “Just One Piece.” And I’m like “Wait, what? Just the one?” But he was sellin’ it to me like he was a One Piece ad on QVC. And guys like Steve Yurko are so passionate about it, and if one person tells ya to watch something, you’re like “Eh, whatever,” but if five people tell you, you start to pay attention. So I’m gonna blame ACH and my good friend Steve Yurko for this.

    What do you like about this arc in particular?

  You get so much wonderful worldbuilding. They go to Alabasta, meet up with Mr. 2, and it’s one of those cool interactions where they’re meeting, but they don’t know who they are meeting exactly, like when they meet Blackbeard in Jaya. So later on, they’re like “Oh, it’s THEM!” There’s a real sense of everything not being really pre-determined at this point. It’s building everything through a bunch of pirates just doing stuff. Ace shows up, knocks out some assassins so he can get his royalty checks.

  That’s such a funny way to put it.

  Then we get Kung-Fu Dugongs, and they’re a pretty pure expression of One Piece. They’re all synchronized, they’re adorable, they play their part amid all the serious stuff, and they’re completely ridiculous, but they work anyway. And it’s with Alabasta that Eiichiro Oda starts to perfect the tropes that he puts into place throughout, with the new islands, the new leader who everyone loves but is actually a bad person, the crew having to deal with him and the Navy, them having to help put someone back in their position, etc. And even though, on paper, it reads like “Well, he’s gotta beat this dude and this dude and this dude,” it’s so much more chaotic and less formulaic than you’d expect. It keeps things interesting. 

  I agree. I like how he takes all of these pieces and he’s consistent with them, but Oda always plays around with how he sets them up.

    But it’s all a foot massage before the real reason to watch Alabasta: Sir Croc. 

  Are you a big fan of him? That dude is so cool, conniving and powerful. He’s kinda the perfect villain. 

  Back when I was being miserable and first watching One Piece, I really liked him. I like the design, the sand powers that could actually pose a threat. I always appreciate it when a villain provides actual tension. It’s like why I think Goldeneye is still the best James Bond film. Because Alec Trevelyan is constantly reminding Bond “Remember, I could kill you. I’m from the same place as you. I can take your exploding watch and just, eh, I’ll stop that then. Thank you.” And Luffy loses twice to him in the three-match structure that really works here as it did for wrestling in the 70s.

  How so?

  So you’d have somebody like champion Bruno Sammartino and someone like Ivan Koloff or one of the Wild Samoans or Stan Stasiak. They’d have one match where the hero would beat Bruno by disqualification. Bruno’s still around to fight, but he’s lost. Luffy survives being thrown in the sand, but he’s been beaten. Then they have the second match, where Bruno would win because the villain would just give up and leave and get counted out. Luffy attacks Crocodile with water, but it’s not enough, and Crocodile just kinda leaves Luffy thinking it’s all done. And then Bruno would be like “Oh no ya don’t. Next time, you won’t be able to escape, because we’re gonna be in a cage match.” And then Bruno wins, just like Luffy wins by punching Crocodile up through that giant enclosed space. He escapes the cage.

      It’s just so satisfying and that’s a great way to describe it. So, villains in the series have had extensive crew members before, but they haven’t been as recognizable and colorful as Croc’s crew, Baroque Works. Do you have a favorite member?

  They’re all good in their own way, but at this point, I’m gonna go with Mr. 2. Eh, that’s probably too obvious an answer…

  Mr. 2 is a lot of people’s favorite member. 

  Oh, who cares. I’ll go with Mr. 2. I like how Mr. 2 interacts with everyone, having fun with the boys and fighting Sanji with kicks but respecting him. 

  So, in this arc, there’s a lot of government intrigue and a revolution is about to happen, and everyone’s dissatisfied with their perception of the monarchy. How did you react to all of this political drama in One Piece? 

  Well, it’s great because you have Vivi, and you get to learn her motivations and because she’s on the crew, it gives you a reason to care for the crew and how all of the political intrigue affects them. Without her, you’d just hear about a war and say “Oh, sorry about that. Hope it goes well.” And with all this lore being thrown at you because you have Vivi and that connection, it’s adding to the main conflict, rather than distracting.

  Yeah, Vivi really grounds it all with a personal attachment. Because otherwise it’s just savin’ the kingdom, which is cool and they’re good for it, but it doesn’t have the same impact. So, they did this back in the Arlong Park arc, but what returns here is the kind of 1 vs 1 match structure, where a member or members of the enemy crew are matched up against a Straw Hat or Hats. Mr. 1 has knife body parts, so he’s obviously gonna fight Zoro. Mr. 2 kicks and Sanji kicks, etc. What do you think about that kind of matchmaking, because it’s also a little wrestling-esque.

    Yeah, right, like if you have D-Generation X fighting the Nation of Domination, you can’t just have The Rock fighting Triple H. Ya gotta have D’Lo Brown vs X-Pac and The Godfather vs Billy Gunn. I like it because the characters feel like they have to prove themselves, like Zoro’s a swordsman, and he’s gotta test himself against another swordsman. And Usopp does it when he fights Mr. 4 and Miss Merry Christmas with Chopper, because they have a weird dynamic and they’re fighting two people and they have no clue what they’re up against. 

  So, at the end of the arc, they do the iconic “We can’t let Vivi become associated with pirates so we’ll hold up the X symbols on our arms in solidarity” pose. What did you think about that? Because it’s one of the most famous images in One Piece, and it’s hard to avoid it, even if you’ve never watched the series. Was that your first time seeing it?

  It actually was. And I’m glad you brought this up because I was watching it and I thought “Wait, they’re just going? They’re not even keeping the duck?” And then they do that with the X and the original opening starts playing and I get goosebumps just remembering it. That really hit me. Because it finally got me really emotionally invested in the series. Made me feel a bit cheeky. 

      ONE PIECE LIGHTNING ROUND!

  So, considering you’re such a huge pro wrestling fan, your lightning round is gonna be a bit different. I’m gonna say a Straw Hat that’s in the crew at this point and you tell me which wrestler they’re the most like. You can also tell me what time period they’d fit the most in, since wrestler personalities tend to change. So, Luffy?

  Gotta be Cena. Specifically? With Luffy’s attitude? Probably 2015 defending-the-United States-Championship John Cena.

  Zoro?

  He’s all business, he likes to fight. So I gotta go with Cesaro.

  Sanji?

  Going with Eddie Guerrero.

  Usopp?

  That character is all over wrestling - the underdog who isn’t very good and uses every trick in the book to win. Gonna go with MJF. He had one of my favorite matches of this year against Cody Rhodes and he just had to use EVERYTHING to beat him - brass knuckles, distraction, chairs, everything he could to get that win. But he could be MJF, could be The Miz, could be Mikey Whipwreck from ECW, take your pick.

  Nami?

  Hmmm. Becky Lynch. 

  Chopper?

  KeMonito 

  Robin?

  Oh, she shows up after being booed for ages and you’re supposed to like her, so 2019 Charlotte Flair.

      Stay tuned for the next installment of "My Favorite One Piece Arc" as we speak with One Piece's official English manga translator Stephen Paul on his favorite One Piece arc: Skypiea!!

      Daniel Dockery is a Senior Staff Writer for Crunchyroll. Follow him on Twitter!

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: Daniel Dockery

[introvertguide]

Fight for My Entertainment

Over human history, people have found entertainment in a lot of different things. Tastes have changed over time but love of music has been present since the rise of man. Games of athletic prowess have provided drama and amazement for centuries. Even dancing has been a great source of entertainment to the population in some form throughout recorded history. One other thing that seems to keep an audience’s attention is the good old fight to the death. Although there are extreme fighting sports that are popular today, actual murder is severely frowned upon to say the least. Movie audiences still like to see portrayals of the fight to the death and there have been many movies, both good and bad, that satisfy this blood lust. I just wanted to go over some of my personal favorites (and some that really suck):

Ben-Hur (1959) is one of my least favorite movies, but I got to give respect to that chariot battle. I have been to Rome and seen the Circus Maximus field where the movie was filmed and where actual chariot races once took place. The horses and the outfits were great but the real interest to the audience in ancient Rome was the real chance of horrific trampling death with every turn of the race. Visually amazing with dramatic appeal. If this movie was only this, it would be a masterpiece, but there is almost 3 hours of boredom attached around it that really didn’t interest me. Great scene, though.

Spartacus (1960), on the other hand, is one of my favorite movies. It is another epic film and lasts a little bit long, but there are many huge battle scenes with thousands of extras and great one on one gladiator battles. Kirk Douglas is amazing as a gladiator turned general who took on the Roman army. There are a lot of one-on-one fights in this film and, despite the age of the film, still seem pretty realistic. This film is the reverse of Ben-Hur for me, having only 15 minutes of boring material surrounded by great scenes. Fantastic movie.

Edit Note: After rewatching, there are a lot less gladiator fights than I remember. In fact, I only now remember two, maybe three. There is also a lot more preparation for battle than actual battle. The best fighting part is likely when the gladiators first attempt to escape. This movie focuses much more on the repercussions on forcing people to fight instead of actually showing the fights. 

Enter the Dragon (1973) has to be mentioned because it has freaking Bruce Lee. A martial arts phenomenon that passed away far too early, Bruce Lee fights in a tournament to have a chance for revenge. Unlike many fights in which the action was sped up, he is rumored to have been told to slow down so that the camera operators could keep up. This doesn’t have massive crowds but there are still fights to the death for the entertainment of others. I do want to mention that this film is kind of racist and is exploitative along the lines of stereotypes, but the skill is so amazing that I think it rises above the B movie genre and is one of my absolute favorite movies. 

The Running Man (1987) is a movie that is absolutely amazing but not what I would call good. The script is weak, the dialogue is corny, and the acting is laughable. However, it does have Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura in the same movie. I mean, c’mon. A bunch of guys who are serving prison terms are put in a maze with professional killers that have weapons like chainsaws, fire suits, and electric projectiles. And this is all for the pleasure of a TV audience. Very much the modern day Colosseum scenario and a lot of fun to watch. 

Bloodsport (1988) is not a good movie but it is the reason that Jean Claude Van Damme is a household name. The “Muscles from Brussels” really shows off his high kicking skill in a tournament that features more than one fatality in the ring. Look at how much air that guy is getting...the athleticism can’t be denied. The film has a pretty strong cult following and it is another “fun” movie to watch because it does show a lot of very interesting matchups. By the way, the murderous villain in both Enter the Dragon and Bloodsport is played by the same Hong Kong martial artist turned bodybuilder, Mr. Bolo Yeung. A great fighting filming needs both a great hero and a powerful villain and this movie does have both of those things...but that is about it. 

Mortal Kombat (1995) is based on the video game of the same name and boasts supernatural fighters that end their bouts with gory fatalities. It totally delivers exactly that. There are no promises of nice sets, interesting back stories, or special effects and that is good because that doesn’t happen. The one-liners are cheesy, the martial arts are very good, and the soundtrack bumps throughout the entire film. Good enough for me. 

Gladiator (2000) “We who are about to die salute you!” I guess that you can’t have a list of gladiator movies with putting in this one. Russell Crowe plays a disgraced Roman soldier named Maximus who loses his family and is thrown into the ring to die. He works his way through to eventually take on a Roman leader and the whole thing is epic. There are a lot of battles in the Colosseum and they are all glorious. As far as realism and quantity of fights, I think this might be the best. Directed by Ridley Scott, it really takes the viewer and thrusts them into ancient Rome. “Are you not entertained?”

Battle Royale (2000) is the film that so many people cough under their breath when somebody brings up the Hunger Games. This film features a class of children that tormented their teacher so they were all shipped by bus to an island to kill each other until only one person is left. Warning, there is a whole lot of murder and suicide with sharp objects involving children. Each kid also has a choker that blows out their throat if they stop moving. Far and away more gory than its American counterpart, this film does not hold back nor are the contestants prepared for their predicament in any way. Very interesting but really makes the viewer feel that this kind of competition is wrong. Not a “fun” watch. 

Ong Bak: The Thai Warrior (2003) is a fantastic martial arts movie starring the great Tony Jaa as a fighter who partakes in underground street fights in an attempt to find the head of his village’s sacred statue. He takes on some crazy opponents who are much bigger than him, but he is one of the most high flying fighters I have ever seen. His flying knee attacks are just phenomenal. When this guy fights, I am entertained and I am not afraid to admit it. 

The Hunger Games (2012) is the story of youths in a dystopian future who fight to the death representing their district. This is all for the pleasure of the super rich who watch and give help to those players that they like. I think that the premise is so interesting but the heavy helping of teen angst amongst the child death seems weird. The desperation for companionship in the face of death was so much better in Battle Royale, but I still enjoyed this movie. The build up took too long for me, but the last half of the movie is gladiator arena glory. 

Thor: Ragnarok (2017) is a movie that I just thought of last minute but it does have a planet where warriors fight in an arena for the entertainment of Jeff Goldblum. There is a battle between Thor and the Hulk and that is all I really needed to know to be interested. Apparently this fight is amazing to everyone, even aliens on a trash planet. You know that audiences have a taste for carnage when they want to see two superheroes battle.

This list is by no means anywhere near complete so feel free to add on any other great gladiator films. These are just examples of how movie audiences seem to have a little bit of a blood lust and shows our tastes in entertainment have not changed as much as we might think since the days of the Roman Colosseum. I am not immune, but I am glad that my desire to see fighting can be quenched by acting without the need to see somebody actually die.

[theromanticrationalist]

Star Trek 2009 Rewatch #79834: Random Thoughts

- The opening sequence always makes me cry. I don’t think there will be ever a time where it WON’T make me cry. 

- It is so James T. Kirk to come out of the womb during a ship wide emergency. Totally on brand.

- BB SPOCK!!!! He is precious and pure. Zachery Quinto’s Spock is so vulnerable and tender. I want to hug him in his snuggly Vulcan sweater! *incoherent fan girl noises*

- This time around I really noticed what a presence Sarek is in Spock’s life as a father. It wasn’t something I noticed until after being much more familiar with the Prime Timeline, but Sarek telling him, “You will always be a child of two worlds, for this I am grateful, as I am grateful for you.” This just blew me away and broke my heart into a thousand splintering pieces. It just made me realize that if Prime Sarek hadn’t been such a douche of a Dad, Spock would have been much more stable of a person, much more confident in his human and Vulcan sides. Sure, he will always struggle between his two sides, but Quinto’s Spock embraces emotion and the expression of it in a much more relaxed and less tumultuous way. I mean Spock making out with Uhura within turbolifts or on a transporter pad is so scandalous! Prime Spock would NEVER in a thousand years be caught doing that, he would have rather died. Literally. Just watched Amok Time, and Spock was literally going to just let himself die before he told anyone on the ship about his little problem. I know many TOS fans have had problems with the Kelvin timeline portrayal of Spock, but that is because since the timelines were changed, very important and key points in the character’s lives changed. Just ask the question, if Sarek was a much warmer father figure in Spock’s life, if they were able to bond much deeper, how would that change Spock? Quite significantly! The strained relationship that Prime Spock had with his father is essentially the crux of his entire character and identity. It is what made him who he was, the Spock we see in TOS - so desperate to mold and fashion himself into a Vulcan, to suppress all his emotions, all to seek the love and approval of his father. Sarek loved Spock, always, but by not validating his human half, he kind of screwed up his kid for life - so Spock Prime’s path to inner peace was a difficult one. A path that Quinto’s Spock will never have to take because his father, after a Vulcan fashion, supports his son, especially after they both lose Amanda and their home planet. Sarek admitting he A. loved his wife and B. admitting this to Spock? Doubly scandalous! The Kelvin Universe is really quite knowledgeable of the canon, and purist Star Trek fans don’t give it that credit. They weren’t just going to make a carbon copy of the TOS series, but were wanting to change and bring all the characters we know and love into new vistas. I think it is brilliant. I have heard within the grapevine of the Internet that JJ Abrams did not care very much for Star Trek, but essentially saw the Star Trek films as a stepping stone for Star Wars. Well, I say, J.J. Abrams did so much more for the Star Trek canon for something he supposedly didn’t care about than anything he did for Star Wars, which was a complete mess. So, I’m okay with that. It is obvious he had a writing team that cared about the canon, and it shows. This time around, this whole movie just broke my heart. I LOVE STAR TREK SO MUCH.

- Kirk and Spock meeting for the first time at the Federation board hearing. “Who is that pointy-eared bastard?” Me: *in Crow T. Robot’s voice* “In love! You’re in love!”

- I feel like Dr. McCoy just permanently carries with him hypos of various things just so he can conveniently use them for underhanded and scathingly brilliant ideas.

- Pavel Andreievich Chekov. *cries* *rolls over* *cries a lot*

- Hikaru Sulu and his fencing. SO BADASS. I was so cheering him on even more!

- You know, another thing I noticed was Captain Pike. In the Prime timeline, as seen through Star Trek Discovery (and will be seen in the up and coming Star Trek Strange New Worlds), Pike is a surrogate father to Spock, and helps him in so many ways, giving him that emotional and spiritual guidance that Sarek wasn’t able to give him. That made me realize that Pike is both Spock and Kirk’s Space Dad! In both timelines where either of them did not have a father, Pike steps in and helps guide both of them in the right direction. I’m just - this just makes me feel a lot of feelz, okay? PIKE IS THE BEST DAD IN THE WHOLE MULTIVERSE.

- I still get a kick out of Spock Vulcan nerve pinching Kirk and tossing him on a cold, frozen, and dangerous planet like he is yesterday’s lunch. Don’t be messing with this Vulcan, bro. 

- I still can’t believe Scotty transported Archer’s beagle into the void! How could you Scotty?!!? My poor Puppy and his pup!

- The moment when Kirk realizes he is falling in love with Spock: when he meets Spock Prime. And really you know - same. I mean seriously, he has hearts in his eyes every single time he interacts with Spock afterwards, even when he is antagonizing him into being emotionally compromised, which he was enjoying a little too much. 

- The moment when Spock realizes he is falling in love with Kirk: “I would cite regulation, but I know you would simply ignore it.” - “See, we are getting to know each other.” Spock has much more control, though.

- Spock and Uhura making out on the transported pad is still just GOLD. And everyone is just like: 👀👀👀 *awkward*. “So her first name is Nyota?” - “I have no comment on the matter.” 😂

- “I will be monitoring your frequencies.”

- I loved the repeated imagery of Kirk struggling on the edge within Nero’s ship during his big fight scene, which mimics his childhood struggle on the edge during his rebellious incident. Seriously, Kirk’s character arc is meticulous crafted within these movies. There is no detail left unattended, and I just love it. 

- Actually, Kirk gets his ass beat A LOT in this film. Wow. He gets beat up literally by everyone basically. 

- Spock calling Kirk “Jim”. That’s when you know it was the point of no return.

- There is a black hole in space consuming the enemy ship of a notorious and crazed criminal who has just committed genocide of one planet and was trying to do so on your home planet, and your first thought is literally nothing else other than, “How can I use this situation to impress Spock?” 

“You show them compassion may be the only way to earn peace with Romulus. It's logic, Spock. Thought you'd like that.”

“No, not really. Not this time.”

- You know, I’ve really come to realize that the TOS crew are INSANE. Brilliant, beautiful, incredible, but insane.

- Spock meeting Spock and giving life advice to Spock. This is totally on brand.

- Spock Prime: “Thrusters on full...” *sobs into the fabric of spacetime*

[avaantares]

FFVII:REMAKE - A Review

So I beat the game two weeks ago and started writing down my thoughts while they were fresh in my mind, but I didn’t post anything then because my one IRL friend who is also playing it hadn’t finished it yet and I didn’t want to risk posting anything spoiler-y. But the extra time has allowed me to play through the game again on Hard difficulty, which has allowed me to reconsider and elaborate on some of my thoughts. And frankly at this point I just need to dump my Very Big Opinions somewhere, so... here ya go.

I discuss visuals, gameplay, character and story below. I’ve tried to keep spoilers minimal up front, though obviously if you want to go into the game totally cold, don’t read this. All major spoilers are clearly tagged. All of it is below a cut to spare your dash.

Also, there are pretty pictures, because why not?

First, my background with this franchise: I played through the original FFVII multiple times; I’ve watched and rewatched Advent Children and Last Order, played Crisis Core, gave up on Dirge of Cerberus despite my deep love for Vincent Valentine (sorry, VV, but your game was just a mess), and lamented that Before Crisis wasn’t available in my country. I even played (and own!) Ehrgeiz, the obscure fighting game that featured the main cast. (Still bitter that they didn’t keep Miki Shinichirou as the voice of Sephiroth. He’s one of my faves.)

^ Ehrgeiz, a mediocre fighting game that forever endeared itself to me by including Turks!Vincent Valentine as a playable character. 💖

In short, I’ve been waiting for this game for DECADES.

So. Here we go. My thoughts on Final Fantasy VII: REMAKE.

The good:

The character models are very pretty. With individual pores, threads and scuffs visible, they’re so detailed that it’s almost impossible to reconcile them with the mouthless sprites from the original game – even more so than Advent Children (and dear goodness, that was over a decade ago now, wasn’t it?). Still, they’ve kept the costume details and absurd proportions largely intact (Barret’s fists are literally larger than Tifa’s entire head, yet somehow it works visually), so it’s not too much of a departure from the familiar.

They’ve kept the aesthetic. I was afraid the game would try to update the iconic world of Midgar, but by and large, it’s full of visually-arresting designs that preserve the gritty-industrial look and feel of the original.

Japanese version is included. BLESS YOU, Square Enix, for including the Japanese voices and character animations. Not only is it impossible for me to hear Cloud in anything other than Sakurai Takahiro’s voice, but the Japanese script is a bit nicer to the characters. I’m not really keen on the English dub… but more on that below.

They fixed the spelling of Aerith’s name. This may seem like a minor point, but considering it’s been 20 years and I’m still bitter that Devil May Cry still hasn’t corrected “Nelo Angelo,” it’s a small victory.

Improved combat. Admittedly, I wasn’t sold on the new combat system at first, but after playing through the game twice, I’ve come to really like it. It has a few rough edges and can get chaotic in some battles, but it does a decent job of blending the feel of an action game with turn-based strategy. The fact that you can switch to a more traditional turn-based system if you prefer is also nice. (I haven’t tried Classic mode yet, though.)

Weapon customization. The Skill Points system allows you to upgrade your loadout instead of acquiring new gear. The tutorial was somewhat lacking (I didn’t quite figure out the multiple-core-unlock thing right away), but I appreciated the ability to add materia slots or stat buffs rather than just cycling through a dozen swords that Cloud apparently keeps in his back pocket.

Background dialogue management. On the whole, the conversations as you run through town enhance the story without slogging down the gameplay; you don’t have to stop and talk to every single resident, because snatches of their conversation reach you (and your on-screen chatlog) as you pass. You can stop and listen for more detail if you want, or you can just keep moving. The extra worldbuilding is really nice.

The music. The orchestrated versions of the original themes are excellent (and some of those music cues gave me goosebumps… Did I spend way too many hours immersed in the original game? Probably). I can take or leave some of the collectible jukebox tunes, but the background music in general is good. (But did I earn that Disc Jockey trophy? Yes, yes I did.)

Supporting character development. Jessie, Biggs and Wedge actually have characters! And personalities! Clichéd ones, admittedly, but it’s an improvement over the original game killing them all off within the first few minutes. The game also does justice to the Turks, and actually surprised me with how much depth of character it gave Reno and Rude in particular (perhaps setting them up for a mini redemption arc so players forgive them for dropping a plate on tens of thousands of slum residents?). Their moments of concern for each other and (brief) crises of conscience made them more than the stock villains they were in the original game, more in line with their temporarily good-aligned characters in Advent Children. Tseng, likewise, was on point. However, I do have to qualify all this with one irate question: Where the heck is Elena?! Seems like the female characters are always getting left out… /sigh/

Improved plot devices. REMAKE cleans up some of the more questionable and outdated content from the original. As you likely already know from the demo, the new game somewhat exonerates the protagonists by having Shinra blow up their own mako reactor to turn public opinion against AVALANCHE (possibly because someone finally realized that it’s hard to sympathize with characters who are willing to melt down an entire reactor and kill a bunch of innocent civilians). AVALANCHE are still eco-terrorists, but they’re… terrorists with a conscience? I dunno, at least they feel bad when people die now… Likewise, the weird and uncomfortable Honey Bee Inn segment of the original game has been reborn as an amazing dance extravaganza. Less voyeurism/prostitution, more Vegas floor show (complete with minigame choreography) and makeover. The whole Don Corneo scenario is still hella creepy, but frankly, there’s nothing that can fix that.

Series references. Fans of the original will appreciate all the inside jokes and direct references to the original game and other franchise entries: One-off comments about Chocobo racing; a broken console in Wall Market that shoots at you; a framed picture of the original 32-bit Seventh Heaven; ads for Banora apple juice; side mentions of characters and plot devices from spinoff games; PHS communication… The game definitely pays tribute to its history. They even recreate the original loading screen and several of Cloud’s iconic poses/animations throughout the game:

The neutral:

Recycled gags. Look, I know Advent Children was the ultimate evolution of FFVII for a while, and admittedly, it did some things very well. The running gag with Rude’s sunglasses and the victory fanfare being used as a ringtone are some of the best moments in the film, in part because they were so unexpected. But as much as I enjoyed the repeated nods to AC in this game, they felt a little desperate, like there were no new jokes to insert so they had to double down on the ones they’d used the last time this franchise had a renaissance. (See Rude’s broken sunglasses, below.) And fitting into the series as a whole, it feels a little weird. Why is Rude’s ringtone the same as the clones’ from Advent Children? Does Barret really need to sing the victory fanfare over and over when he defeats an enemy? Is there supposed to be some history behind that song that was left out of the worldbuilding? It just feels too meta.

Arbitrary localization of names. I don’t really grasp why it was necessary to rename so many items and characters for the English market. Some changes make sense for localization (e.g. Whack-a-Box certainly works better for an American audience than Crash Box), but others seem arbitrary, like changing Aniyan Kunyan to Andrea Rhodea or Mugi to Oates (a play on the meaning of his name in Japanese, but... does it matter?). And then… well, I don’t want to spoil A Major Plot Element, but there’s another thing that changes names from one English word (in the Japanese track) to a different English word. Why? No idea. It doesn’t affect gameplay, and it’s not really a problem, but listening to the Japanese track, I found it jarring to have the subtitles contradict what I was hearing.

Underutilized characters. While the whole gamut of original FFVII characters make appearances, several of them aren’t used to full effect, or aren’t used at all to advance the story. Rufus Shinra’s bossfight is a decent challenge, but while his character was vital to both the original FFVII and Advent Children, his presence in this game is little more than a cameo. His fight could be cut or swapped out with any other boss, and it would have zero effect on the plot. Similarly, while Hojo is a key player in the full story (which this game doesn’t cover, since it’s only a fraction of the original timeline), he’s largely wasted here, except as a means of extending play time by making you wander through corridors and fight a bunch of monsters for “research.” (I have no idea what his motivation is; you’d think he’d be more interested in recapturing Aerith or Cloud, but instead he just... opens an elevator and lets them leave? after they beat up some midbosses.) Reeve Tuesti actually has a solid presence in this game, but since he’s ONLY ever active as himself, there’s no explanation for the random Cait Sith cameo in one scene (players new to the franchise probably have no idea why a random cartoon cat showed up for a few seconds and was never mentioned again). Obviously the plot arcs have to change when the game is covering only a few days’ time in a much longer story, and the major players need to be introduced at some point if they’re going to feature in later games in the series, but from a narrative standpoint, there are an awful lot of superfluous characters doing things for no reason in this installment.

The bad:

THE PADDING. Dear goodness, there is so much padding to make this a standalone game instead of just the first chapter of a longer adventure. I got really, really sick of running literally from one end of the map to the other on side quests – and that’s me, an avowed trophy hunter who spends hours scouring dark corners for collectible items in other games, saying that. So much of this game felt like time fill that didn’t really advance the story. It’s also full of unnecessary new characters with improbable Squeenix hair, like Roche the super-annoying motorcycle SOLDIER (below), or Leslie, Don Corneo’s doorman who somehow merits his own backstory and side quest. (Though in fairness, every FFVII sequel has added superfluous characters, with Crisis Core possibly being the worst offender.) But it just felt really drawn-out and bloated for a game of this generation. If this game had been as compact and tightly-written as the other games I typically play, it probably only would have taken me 15 hours to beat instead of 50. (I don’t actually know how many hours I spent on it the first time through, as I didn’t check the play clock before restarting on Hard difficulty. I do know it took me over 110 hours total to complete the game on both modes, though much of the second run was spent dying repeatedly on a handful of nasty fights. Hard mode removes items and MP replenishment, and if you run out of MP at any point during a chapter, you’re going to die. A lot.)

The pacing. Related to the above... the Midgar portion of the original game was just the setup for a larger story. It wasn’t meant to have its own complete dramatic arc so much as to introduce you to the world and the major players. Consequently, there are some really odd beats in this story, as well as a total lack of urgency in your mission. There are no natural places to slot in the side quests and minigames, so they’re shoehorned awkwardly between plot sequences. “Quick, our friend is in mortal peril and needs our help!” "Okay, cool, we’ll go rescue her after we spend ten hours running around town doing random errands for townspeople and playing games with the local kids.” Uh... what?

The graphics just aren’t as good as they should be. While the character models are gorgeous, there are a lot of low-res background textures and weird polygons that don’t quite match up with other components. Most egregious are the Shinra logos, which frequently get close-ups as part of the fixed camera work and, frankly, look like lossy JPEGs. (See image below, screencapped from a PS4 Pro. Those jagged edges on the logo are present throughout the entire game.) There are weird clipping errors and artifacted images and reflective surfaces that don’t reflect, making the game look more like something from the PS3 era than a 4K late-gen PS4 game. (And it’s not that we don’t have the technology: Uncharted 4 was released back in 2016, and the rendering of its vast world was twice as pretty. Devil May Cry 5, released in early 2019, has far more realistic textures and object interaction. Granted, those are different types of games with fewer NPCs to render, but I feel like there’s no excuse for a game this big to look this mediocre.)

The HUD could be better. The lower-corners concept is okay, though it took me a while to train my eyes to travel between both sides of the screen and track the fight action. But for a long time, I didn’t even notice the commands in the upper left corner of the screen, and after playing through the game twice I still have no idea what they say because I couldn’t focus on the tiny text long enough to read them while trying not to die in combat. (I just looked it up; apparently they’re combat control shortcuts? Huh, that would have been useful to know.) It wasn’t until my second time through that I realized there even WERE separate controls on screen during the motorcycle minigames; I had resorted to panicked button mashing to figure it out the first time through because there was no tutorial (you’re just dropped into the action) and, having ignored the small text for the previous hundred combats, I had no reason to look for on-screen instructions there. Not that it would have helped, since on many backgrounds the text in the upper left is really difficult to read (see below). It’s worth noting that I have better than 20/20 vision and played this game on a large TV screen and still had trouble reading some things; on a smaller TV, or for someone with less acute vision (like my sister, who is blind in one eye), I think even the basic menu controls would be difficult to see. While you can resize the font for subtitles, my cursory glance through the menu did not uncover an option to increase the size of the HUD. 

Inter-fight menu mechanics. Specifically, the inability to save (or save loadout settings) between fights in a multi-part sequence. There are several back-to-back fights in which it is necessary to switch characters or change gear between bosses. The game treats them as one continuous fight, though it does allows you to access the equipment menu by holding square during key cutscenes. Which is good, if you only have one of a particular materia or accessory that you need to switch between characters, and in most cases when you die the game lets you restart just before your current fight instead of restarting the whole sequence -- also good, since some multi-stage bosses can easily take 20-30 minutes to beat, and if several of those are strung together in sequence, you’re in for a long play session to get past them. But since it’s treated as one fight, you can’t save between bosses (more than once, I had to leave my PS4 running in Rest Mode overnight and just hoped we didn’t have a power glitch), and if you happen to get killed and need to restart the fight, your loadouts reset. Which means if you’re, say, fighting the end boss on Hard difficulty and get killed in the first two minutes -- which happened to me a lot -- by the time you restart the fight, sit through the unskippable cutscene, access the menu and rearrange all the materia and accessories you need, you’re spending five or six minutes gearing up for two minutes of play, and then doing that over and over again every time you die. It gets really old.

The English dub script. *deep breath* Okay, look, I know I can be a bit elitist about translations, but I really do not like the English adaptation of this game. It makes Cloud come across as less socially-awkward and far more of a deliberate jerk, Aerith is mouthy and even swears (which is not accurate to her original character), and it downplays some of the symbolism that’s more obvious in the Japanese script. One quick example: When Aerith gives Cloud a flower, she says (in Japanese), “In the language of flowers, this means ‘reunion.’” It’s subbed/dubbed in English, “Lovers used to give these when they were reunited.” That’s a subtle difference, but since the concept of “reunion” is a freakin’ huge part of the FFVII plot, and since Sephiroth was on screen literally seconds before that line is delivered, my brain automatically went, “OMG REUNION!!!” while I’m guessing people listening in English only picked up on the romantic subtext. It’s a pretty minor thing, and of course translation is always a complex balancing act between literal meaning and local market understanding, but the English version just seemed to me to have a different vibe overall. (Unfortunately, the English subtitles are the same as the dub, so unless you can understand the Japanese audio you’re kind of stuck with that dialogue.)

-

-

[WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW THIS POINT]

-

- …And my #1 complaint about Final Fantasy VII: REMAKE is…

…it’s not actually a remake.

Sure, the game starts out the same way and covers a lot of the same events, but fundamentally, it’s a sequel, not a retelling. It’s evident from Cloud’s future-oriented visions throughout the game that something else is going on, and the ending MAKES NO SENSE if you don’t already know the story. Heck, even the rest of the game doesn’t really make sense if you don’t know the story -- Sephiroth’s presence is never explained; Zack isn’t even introduced, just shows up randomly at the end; Cloud’s flashbacks of Tifa and her dead father in Nibelheim are left as a complete mystery (and since she evidently remembers the burning of her town, judging by her dialogue outside Aerith’s house, why doesn’t she even react when Sephiroth shows up?).

The core elements of the plot – the Feelers (Whispers) preserving a specific fate; the three entities from the future (whose weapon types just happen to correspond to certain named characters) defending their timeline; the return of post-Advent Children Sephiroth (the only time we’ve seen him in human form with one black wing), who has inhabited the Lifestream since his death and promised that he would never truly disappear, who in the end appeals to Cloud directly for an alliance rather than attempting to control him, because he knows now that Cloud is strong enough to defy the Reunion instinct; the change in the outcome of story events in which Biggs (and, unconfirmed as to which timeline he’s actually in, but quite possibly Zack) now survives his intended death -- all point toward Sephiroth trying to manipulate destiny into an alternate outcome in which he is victorious, and using this naive version of Cloud to facilitate it. That means this game is taking place in an alternate or splinter universe, created at some point after the events of the original Final Fantasy VII, and possibly even after the events of Advent Children.

All of that is fine from an overall continuing-story perspective – it opens up a lot of interesting possibilities, like the fact that Aerith might survive now that Cloud has seen prescient flashes of her death (among other events), and there are opportunities for more story twists and changes from what players might expect. But touting this as a remake of the original game has the potential to confuse players who are new to the franchise. FFVII was groundbreaking back in 1997, and it defined JRPGs for an entire generation of Western gamers. But that was more than two decades ago, and a lot of current gamers weren’t even born then, so while they’ve probably heard of the classic game, they aren’t necessarily steeped in its lore. FFVII:R relies heavily on prior knowledge of the series to carry its twist ending, so it largely fails as a standalone game.

Also, speaking as a longtime fan of the franchise… I honestly found the ending rather lackluster. It was a twist, of sorts, but not the sort of shocking, mind-bending revelation that made the first game so iconic. Granted, it’s hard to follow an act like revealing that your protagonist’s entire identity is a lie, not to mention killing off one of your main characters a third of the way into the story! But when the surprise ending is just, Surprise! We’re going to change things up a bit this time around so you aren’t entirely sure what’s coming! Also, here’s a gratuitous Sephiroth fight because everyone expects that, even though it doesn’t serve the main story at all nor resolve any conflicts previously established within this game! it smacks of Different for the sake of Being Different, not for the sake of a really amazing storyline they’re hiding up their sleeve. It’s a bit of a let-down, and I find that I... just... don’t really care that much. Which, for someone who’s been a fan of the series for nearly a quarter of a century, means there’s a Big Freaking Problem somewhere. If you’re not keeping the attention of your die-hard fans, how do you hope to build a fanbase of players new to the franchise?

Given the pacing and story issues inherent in this game, I’m not convinced that the following game(s) in the franchise are going to be structured any better. Considering the amount of pure side-quest padding they did in Midgar, I have no idea how they’ll maintain that same tone on something the scale of the World Map portion of the original game, unless they just completely eliminate things like Fort Condor and the submarine and the spaceship side quests. I have a feeling the Gold Saucer is going to be reduced to a Jessie flashback, a Chocobo race (probably to win a key item), and a battle arena run like the coliseum in Wall Market in this game. If they include all the story elements and side characters from the original, this series is going to be a dozen games long.

Still, on the whole this game was enjoyable, and I’m glad I played it. It wasn’t as good as I’d hoped, but they haven’t completely killed off my interest, so I’ll probably continue with the series whenever the next game comes out. Though I’m not really sure if the higher-priced edition I pre-ordered was worth the extra money, so I may wait and see how the next game is shaping up before deciding which version to get...

But if they don’t give me a really pretty (playable) Vincent Valentine in the next installment, I may riot. I do have priorities.

[arabian-bloodstream]

TROS: The Good, the Bad & the Huh?

So, I watched The Rise of Skywalker on Thursday. It met my expectations which were to not expect too much. I hadn't read the leaks, but I had still been spoiled. I didn't want to believe that Ben would actually die, but I knew it was a very real possibility so when it happened, I wasn't terribly surprised. Overall, I liked the movie, because, duh, it's Star Wars. However, I had a lot of problems with it because a lot of things didn't make sense.

I watched it a second time on Saturday and sadly, those things still didn't make sense, but I still liked it because, you know, Star Wars. So, here are my thoughts, first off with all of those things that don't make sense without having to rely on the SW visual dictionary or EU (because you should NOT have to rely on outside source to understand stuff) to explain them, then my biggest issues with the film, the things I did really like and my rankings of all the films as of now before it comes out and I can do a full rewatch:

Questions... So Many Questions

Where is Kylo in the beginning? Who is he mowing down? How does he find the wayfinder?

How did Palpatine come back?

Who has been taking care of him for the last 30-odd years?

Who are all of those hooded creatures in the stands?

Why are there a couple of Snoke puppets? Molds? What the fuck ever? In aquarium tanks?

Who is this General Pryde dude and why is he so high up and we've never heard of him before?

Who was Palpatine's girlfriend/wife/one-night stand that led to Rey's dad(?) mom(?)?

Where did this all come from!??!? Palpy having a child seems like a pretty fucking big deal to just OOPS! pop out of nowhere?

Some random THERE ARE ONLY TWO SUPER-SEKRIT-SITH wayfinder thingies to find Palpatine that Luke was on a SUPER-SEKRIT mission with Lando THAT WAS NEVER MENTIONED in between him training his Jedi students and his temple getting destroyed, having a split-second 'maybe I should murder my nephew' moment, 'nah!' and going into exile. Uhm, OK.

Leia was trained in the Force by Luke? Uhm... when? When she was pregnant with Ben? Because she got pregnant pretty much right after Endor. So... she learned enough from Luke--even though she didn't complete her training--to train Rey... enough that Rey became super-duper powerful. Because I highly doubt that Leia had time to train while pregnant and helping to start up a new government. OK, then.

So, Leia and Luke *knew* that Rey was the granddaughter of Sheev Palpatine--the most evil who ever eviled--and had no problem believing that there was good in her and she could be molded into an awesome Jedi... but didn't believe the same about their own son/nephew because he had too much "Vader" in him? Even though, Luke believed that Vader could be redeemed? Huh?! I mean... huh?

And on that note... so, all of the old Jedi decided to let the grandson of The Chosen One fall down a pit and crawl back up in agony with a shrug, but were like, 'yeah, we're gonna help the granddaughter of the man whose goal in life and in-between life and now life again after sucking out the life-force of the two remaining Jedi in the Galaxy.' OK, then.

So... how come, when Rey died she didn't just fade away? I mean, when Ben died he faded away right away. Why didn't Rey fade away right away?

So those horse-creature thingies... why were they on the ships to be on the destroyers? I mean, like... was there even room? And when that was destroyed, did like those horse-creature thingies all die? How sad... and no one cared.

The 'Rey, I need to tell you something' from Finn. I know now it was that he's Force-sensitive. AFTER watching the movie and hearing other people say it. Watching it the second time, I picked up on the clues, but those I watched it with the second time thought it was that he loved Rey. A lot of people thought it was that he loved Rey. I thought that the first time. It was clumsy, it was tacked-on. It was... stupid. Why would you leave a dangling thread, one of JJ's "mystery boxes" in the final chapter of the ninth-film saga? WHY?!

Also, more importantly, why were the Resistance celebrating at the end? Because "The Final Order" were taken out, but uhm, The First Order is still around. Unless I'm remembering it incorrectly (and I could be), it was the Final Order ships, General Pryde's destroyer and a bunch of First Order fighters, but not ALL of the First Order destroyers were there. They've got thousands of destroyers spread across the galaxy. They weren't all there. They took out the Emperor's fleet, not the Supreme Leader's fleet. And sure, the Supreme Leader is gone, and Pryde and Hux are gone... but there are other Generals who will step up. So, yeah, the First Order is still around. The First Order is the huge, massive enemy that our heroes are fighting the entire two films. And there is LITERALLY no mention of their defeat, of how THEY are brought down in this film. Instead, JJ brings in Palpatine and his thousands of somehow functioning Final Order fleet... and *that* fleet* is destroyed. YAY! Celebration ensues. WHAT ABOUT THE FIRST ORDER!?!? The one that we spent the last two films fighting?!? The ones that the rest of the galaxy had zero interest in helping to fight during the battle of Crait and ANYTIME in the interim before the Battle of Exogol. That's kind of huge.

Why did Rey go to Tatooine? Seriously? Why. Did. Rey. Go. To. Tatooine? Luke hated Tatooine. And besides, Rey spent at most a week with the guy and didn't have a very good relationship with him. Sure, they had a decent post-death conversation, but that was it. It really was like JJ intended (after TFA) for Rey to go to Luke and for Luke to train her in the ways of the Force and for there to be this great relationship, much like Luke and Yoda. I guess he expected for Rian Johnson to redo so much of TESB much as he had done with ANH. But Johnson didn't do that, and Abrams clearly didn't care. So he just ignored the relationship that Johnson *did* establish between Rey and Luke and pretended like the one that he envisioned had happened had, well, happened. (Psst, even though it didn't.) But it made no sense. Again, at most a week Rey spent with the grumpy old dude who wasn't very nice to her, whom she fought with and who told her--yeah, no, this ain't how it's gonna be, and so she took off and went her own way. Sure, Luke changed his mind, but she wasn't there for that.

Why did Rey have BB-8 with her? BB-8 is Poe's droid, not hers. Oh, right... it paralleled TFA--where it made sense that BB-8 was with her, when Poe was "dead" which he is not now. Mmhmm.

Why did Rey take the last name Skywalker? She didn't have the relationship with Luke that warranted it. You know who she DID have the relationship with? Han SOLO. Leia Organa-SOLO. Ben SOLO. Those are the people with whom she had that kind of relationship. The man who DID become like a father to her in a few short days. The woman who did become like a mother to her. The man who was literally the other half of her soul. If she was going to take a name... it should have been Solo. Rey Solo. Taking the name Skywalker, much like going to Tatooine was not in character for Rey, and it wasn't FOR Rey. It was nostalgia for the Original Trilogy fans (oh, like JJ Abrams). It wasn't true to the narrative, the character, of the story that has been told over *this* sequel trilogy.

Why was there no Force Ghost of Ben? There needs to be some specific training in order to be a Force Ghost, sure. Which Luke *probably* got from FG Yoda. And which Luke gave to Leia in cut footage. And this specific training was mentioned briefly in the Prequel Trilogy, and more extensively in The Clone Wars.... but unless you remember that one line from the PT or watched TCW and know about that cut footage, you have no clue. So, many are left wondering, again: Why was there no Force Ghost of Ben? If Luke *probably* got that training from Yoda, why didn't Luke train Ben in it? He's gotta know how tragic the lives of the Skywalkers are... ain't no way he didn't train that boy early on about that bit of info, right? So, yeah, why no Force Ghost of Ben?

So many questions, so many things that had me going: Wait? What? Huh? Why... I don't... huh? How did--? When? Huh? That should not happen this much in a film. Period. That is bad writing. That is bad directing. That is bad pacing. That is just bad film making.

The Big Four Issues

I. Ben Solo Dying.

Had he had not been the last Skywalker, I would have been OK with him dying. Not happy, but narratively, I would have been OK with it.

Had Han not sacrificed himself essentially which was then used as a narrative to build into a huge reason as to why Kylo was having such a hard time staying on the Dark path, I would have been OK with him dying. Not happy, but narratively, I would have been OK with it.

Had we not been given some hints that Ben had been manipulated his whole life by the Dark Side and abandoned by his family, I would have been OK with him dying. Not happy, but narratively, I would have been OK with it.

Had we not been told that he was literally sharing a soul with Rey (one soul-two bodies), meaning that she will be bereft and lost without him for the rest of her life because her literal soulmate is dead now, I would have been OK with him dying. Not happy, but narratively, I would have been OK with it.

However, because of all of the above, narratively speaking, no, I am not OK with it. I have always said in every fandom I have been a part of that if it makes sense from a narrative point of view--even if I'm not happy as a fangirl--I will be OK with it. From a narrative point of view, this did not make sense. So, yeah, I had an issue with Ben Solo dying.

II. Kylo Ren's Helmet and Rey's Hairstyle

I said when I first saw the triple-bun-hairstyle again and Kylo with the helmet that I was wary because I felt that JJ had fundamentally missed the symbolism of what Rian did with the progression for both characters. I hoped that I would be proven wrong and there would be a reason for the return of both things (beyond needing the hairstyle for scenes with Leia to match the footage). Alas, I was not.

Kylo without the mask was him no longer in Vader’s shadow. The mask was about him being the scared, little boy, hiding who he was. At the end of The Last Jedi, he supposedly got everything he wanted. He no longer needed to hide. By destroying the mask, he was doing his best to let go of the past. He let go of Snoke, let go of Vader. But, of course, that wasn't the story that JJ wanted to tell. He wanted to keep Kylo answering to someone else, holding onto Vader. So because Rian got rid of Snoke, JJ brought in Palpatine for Kylo to be submissive to, beholden to Vader still, no longer the leader and back came the helmet, undoing all of that great character progression that Rian had crafted.

As for Rey and those buns, sigh. Once she realized–as she did in the cave, even if she didn't admit it fully to herself until Kylo called her on it–that her parents weren't coming back, she let go of that hairstyle. Why? Because that hairstyle is the only way she could figure that her parents would still recognize her. It's the hairstyle she had when she last saw them. By letting her hair down and not putting it back up, she let go of the fantasy that they were coming back. JJ putting her back into that ridiculous style, like with Kylo, he erased that huge, beautiful character arc of Rey's. She was once more a girl in search of her identity, her self. That self, that woman that she had found at the end of TLJ was gone. *double sigh.*

III. Rose's Presence or Lack Thereof

The toxic bullying and horrible way that Kelly Marie Tran was treated was completely unjustified in every way, shape and form. JJ Abrams pretty much rewarded that treatment by sidelining the character of Rose and wrote her as a glorified extra. Period. There's pretty much nothing else to say about it. Anything else will just devolve into ranting. It--yeah, just gonna stop here.

IV. The Force Bond Scenes

Least "big" issue, but it bugged me. I noticed it the first time I watched the film and hoped that it would be more clear the second time I watched it. That second time, I watched it with my brother-in-law and nephews and asked them if they had the same issue. They did. I wasn't sure honestly when Rey and Kylo were actually together or were having Force Bond moments. One of my nephews didn't realize that Rey and Kylo were actually fighting in person on the Death Star until Kylo was talking to Han. That entire scene from when he showed up inside the Death Star remains, through the fight scene, through her stabbing, then healing him and her taking off... my nephew thought that it was a Force Bond scene. Both times, I didn't realize it wasn't a Force Bond scene UNTIL they moved outside of the Death Star remains. When they were talking inside, I thought it was a Force Bond scene.

Rian Johnson did such a wonderful job establishing they were having a Force Bond moment. It was like the air was being vacuumed out of the room. You could feel the tension. It was obvious, but in these Force Bond scenes unless the scenes were drastically different or there was dialogue establishing it, you just could NOT tell.

But, It's Not All Bad!

The Han/Ben scene gutted my very soul in all the best way possibles. I ADORED the callback to The Force Awakens scene. How the play on the dialogue worked in the opposite direction, with Han urging him that he could it, he did have the strength to turn to the light. How Ben held the lightsaber, and once again, Han reached out to touch his face. Oh, God, and when he said "Dad," his voice breaking and Han said, "I know." I died. I was just.... gah, a total mess. I teared up both times. That was just everything. SO. VERY. HARD!

Babu Frick may be my new spirit animal. No, I do not find him cuter than Baby Yoda (puhleeze!), but dear Lord, I loved him so. When C3P0 (who will forever remain in my heart, I love him so) had his memory wiped and was introducing himself, I laughed out loud both times when Babu immediately pipes up with, "I'm Babu Frick!" and then later on when whoever mentioned that Babu sent them a message, 3P0 pipes up, "Oh, I know Babu Frick, he's my oldest friend," I lost it. So good.

Speaking of C3P0, every moment with C3P0 was gold (hehehe, see what I did there?). I seriously do love Goldenrod. I liked the sentimental, the sweet, the serious and the funny with him. Outside of the Babu Frick moments, my favorite was when he mentioned something about the Passana Desert festival and they all looked at the annoyance that is 3P0 and he has no clue and turns around himself to see what they are looking at. Oh, I love him so.

When Finn told Rose that he was staying on the ship... JJ may have cut the Finn/Rose dead in the water that Rian set up, but damn did KMT give it her all. That moment where she looked after him, oh it was beautiful. You could see all of the worry, the love, the pride... everything on her face in that moment. So good.

I may have felt that Zorri Bliss was a completely useless and pointless character, but that final bit with her Poe was hilarious.

The lightsaber battle on the Death Star remains was AWESOME-SAUCE. Every moment of it. I especially loved: Kylo walking out of the rain/water. Kylo and Rey both so exhausted they can barely keep going. Kylo having the kill-shot like two or three times and just not able to do it. Ben hearing Leia say his name. Ben dropping his saber when he senses her end is near.

Chewie finally got his damn medal!

Chewie mourning over Leia. That was all of us.

Man, when Rey and Kylo were fighting over the destroyer and then lightning came out of her hands... it was like WHOAH!! SO FREAKING COOL! I loved that. I really totes did!

I loved every single, solitary moment of Ben Solo. From his running to save Rey. From his free-for-all jump to his "Ow." To his facing of the knights, knowing he was outnumbered, but still determined to take them all. From his 'We got this babe!' look to Rey to his shrug once he held that lightsaber in his hand and took on every one of those Knights and took them all down, Ben Solo was sassy, bad-ass and amazing all without saying an actual word.

Dear Lord. Crawling from the pit, forcing himself across that rocky floor on a broken leg, gathering the woman he loved in his arms. The relief of finally, finally, truly holding her in his arms, the devastation at knowing she was lost to him, and then the determination, the refusal to let her go, to lose her. He truly finished what his grandfather started. He would not let the woman he loved die. So be brought her back, pouring every ounce of his life, his love into her.

I loved that she told him that she wanted to take Ben's hand, and so she did. And she said his name, one last time. "Ben." And I loved that we got that beautiful, beautiful smile. So happy, so free, so full of light. And no pain.

*sigh* The kiss. I loved, loved, loved that we got our beautiful, epic space kiss. *double sigh* Because it was beautiful. And it was epic. And it's canon, bitches! Yeah, baby!

Overall, I liked the movie. I believe that when I watch all the films together, I will be satisfied. I just wish I loved it. I AM happy for all of those people who do love it though. I truly, truly am.

The Skywalker Saga Rankings

Yes, I consider Rogue One part of the Skywalker Saga since both Darth Vader and Leia appear in it.

The Empire Strikes Back

The Last Jedi

A New Hope

Rogue One

Attack of the Clones

The Force Awakens

Return of the Jedi

The Rise of Skywalker

Revenge of the Sith

The Phantom Menace