#though! i am good at platonic stuff! it’s just the knowledge that it’s romantic throws me off a ton

[caffeiiine]

UPDATE!!!!! CASE 5 WAS THE SECOND LONGEST CASE IVE EVER PLAYED!!!! I SKIPPED RHROUGH IT TO THE END BC I GOT IMPATIENT!!! good case, good case, did not expect him of all the people. but man. it went on forever.

anyways<3 as of rn halfway through turnabout trigger, DE KILLER IS BACK!!!! YAY!!!! will continue tommroow <3

ALMOST DONE WITH AAI1!!!!!

worst case scenario i finish it tomorrow, best case scenario i speed run it and start aa2 and finish case2!!!!!!!!

i keep almost spoiling myself with aai2 + i wanna meet simon and sebastian already😞😞😞

YEAHHHH!!! I love them smsmsmsmhfewhj AUGHHH. if you finish aai2 be the Horace 2 my Simon heh.../j /thisisanoffertobemybsfforever

[mythvoiced]

EXCLUSIVES & MAINS & CONNECTIONS~

This nifty lil post will list rp partners and FCs of their muses that, since I am so deeply enamoured with their muses and can't stop associating the faces they chose for said muses, I can't find it in me to have given (or all) blorbos of mine interact with anybody else.

BLOG-WIDE

Lee Dong-wook | @jeoseungsaja From main verse to verse 5, Alex's MASSIVE BRAIN has made me wholly incapable of throwing any of my blorbos at any Lee Dong-wook that aren't her magnificent Jeoseungsaja, Wang Yeo, Lee Hyuk. He is simply That Binch. Kaeden's older brother, Kim Shin's spouse and/or housemate, Sarang's victim, Rang's actual half-brother, you name it.

Débora Nascimento | @fatalhymn The mythvoiced blorbos have spoken, every muse who meets Amelia falls in love with her, romantically or platonically as may be, or is otherwise so obsessed with her I am starting to fear for their mental health. Ami's Amelia Stella Sinclair is the fruit of some of the sexiest, most incredible character building I've ever seen and I can't disassociate her face from her. Dude, I even forget Miss Nascimento does not have freckles.

MUSE-SPECIFIC

Lee Joon-gi | @theimpalpable for Ji Hyun, as Yeong Boram. He's a rain prince, an azure dragon, who's story with Hyun starts in captivity in ancient times and re-blossoms now in the present, when they turn from memory to constant, present and future. Boram is Hyun's soulmate and Hyun is single-ship with him.

Harry Lloyd | @/theimpalpable for Corey Atwell, as Domenic Lachlan. A friend, a mentor of sorts, maybe? Left to his own devices with no one to lean on, meeting Domenic, a kind, warm, enthusiastic intellectual willing to experience the joys of discovery and knowledge with him is kind of like... discovering how vast the world is without being afraid of it.

Tom Holland | @/theimpalpable for Kaeden, as Wilder B. Summers. Wilder is perhaps everything to Kaeden, most definitely is. He's his best friend, his sweet cheese, his good-time boy, Kaeden would set the world on fire for him, and hopes to be worthy of his friendship one day.

Park Bo-gum | @/theimpalpable for Han, as So Yong. The feeling of a soft breeze on a hot day, the first drop of rain after months of dry soil, the first sip of water after hours without, the softness of your pillow after a hard day. These are just some of the things Han equals Yong to. And it's very confusing.

Song Joong-ki | @/theimpalpable for Huáng ZhìJiàn, as So Kiheon. Some love prevails for centuries before either party even gets to call it love. A-Jiàn has never forgotten Kiheon and each day he may get closer to meeting them again, is a day he feels a little more alive than the previous.

Shin Ha-kyun | @/theimpalpable for Sköll, Sarang & Ajay (in particular), as (Kim) Nae-Gil. For Sarang and Ajay, Nae-Gil is but a name on a list. A Knight, one of those deserted, hell, Ajay might not even know who he is, Sarang might only be familiar with what he's capable of. A Knight of the Order he still was, and that connection will always remain. To Sköll, though, he's a little more than that. He makes him feel alive in the same way two flames uniting to create a wildfire create life in their own way.

You WILL most definitely find other Alex muses on this list one day, I am obsessed with her stuff, I'll nab it all.

Lee Sun-mi | @uroborosymphony for Sarang, as Calixtus 'Calista' Orion, because Lynnie said I was allowed~ immortal terrorist girlfriends, the breath of snarled and maniacally cackled air that fanned the flame in Sarang's soul back to life and reminded her that living is just, living is fair, and taking what is hers even more so, perhaps even at her side, by the side of the one woman to occupy the centre of her mind.

Shin Sung-rok/SF9's Hwiyoung | @clemencetaught Blog-wide. Here's the thing. Patrick Grace, Shin Myungdae, I am a little obsessed with what Ferre is doing with this person. Every verse, every minute interaction I have with him, because I haven't even gotten to interact with him all that much (or as much as I'd like to, anyway, hehehehe~) follows me to the end of my days. With Eunjae, with Sarang, the plotting we're doing with Maria, smaller threads like the one with Seok-ju, he's incredible. All of Ferre's work around this person makes me gasp. I had to visit their notion because I did not for the life of me remember the FC's name, in typical Len fashion, I completely forgot that wasn't just... you know, Patrick. So yeah. If I see another Shin Sung-rok, in particular, anywhere else, I will think it's Patrick.

Hoang Quyen | @stillresolved for Samuel, as Mana Minh Huynh, on one hand because even while I write Samuel very rarely because he's a little more difficult to get muse for, Mana is already impacting him in ways I could have never hoped for to the point where I'm discovering things about him I had no idea were in him, on the other hand because I just? I can't... it's? I don't shout about Mana a lot because I feel almost undeserving, and inappropriate in treating her the way I would... stanning anime characters. She's... so much more, she makes me want to treat her in all the seriousness of ancient Greek philosophers. She's incredible. She's "The Only Hoang Quyen" to put it in a weird way (I'm collecting Ferre characters the way I collect Alex characters, BEST BELIEVE).

CONNECTIONS/MAINS

These are characters who I wouldn't claim mutual exclusivity with because I'm a too chicken and forgetful to ask, but they've become very vital connections to my muses and as such, while I'd never demand anything in turn, there is no pressure or obligation here to do the same with connections here as I do because I am Insane about y'all's characters, your muses are very dear to me and as such these here listed characters will at the very least most definitely be the first names associated with the listed faces.

Jing Boran | @wantedformanysins for Chul-soo, as Nathan Chen, because don't you just love a messy 'we used to be lovers but not really then we split and now you invited me as your boyfriend to spend Christmas with you because you didn't tell your mother we split?' plot? There's a lot more to that, obviously, because Dex is one of the greatest minds you'll ever meet, her plotting capabilities are through the ROOF. The violence she makes me feel, soft aggression about how amazing it is. It's... I can't even put it into words it's just... oof.

Liam Samuels | @zodiachild for Nathaniel & Diana, as Aziz Khan. Again, Dex just... plots MASSIVE things okay. Love stories spanning for centuries, stockfull of the most violently incredible details and facets, Aziz is such an incredible fucking character, the lore iS INSANE, and Nathaniel & Diana are both so stupid about him, so absolutely gone, so insane about him, can't really expect me to not add him here~

Nana Komatsu | @wellfell BLOGWIDE, as Mori Akina, let me count all the ways I would commit heinous crimes for Akina, I have been so obsessed with this woman even beyond having Karube interact with her in so many painful, sexy, incredible ways, amplified by the way Nassy writes to kill, I'm not even sure if I got the FC's name right because it's just Akina™. I'm literally doing research on Ringu to understand her better, do you understand, I am considering buying it, do you understand.

AND!! LIST WILL BE UPDATED!! When I write things down in one sitting I will end up forgetting, so I'll come back~ Also in case FCs change~ There are some I didn't add either because they're Patrick/ashbtten related or because I'm shy or because they're in 1x1 threads or or or but hey if you ever feel like we've interacted enough that it would be a CRIME to not find on this list, we can always chit chat about it >:3

[yostresswritinggirl]

Scholars’ Chit Chat Submission

Cyno x Reader (actually platonic, in a way I guess, study partners, but possibly romantic in the future)

*Lore dump warning; Spoilers for all the Archon Quests and speculations of Teyvat; Really it’s all serious talk

XXX

“Hey Cyno,”

The said male turned away from the book he was reading, and focused his attention on you instead.

“What’s the matter?”

“Do you believe in eternity?”

Surprised at your sudden question, the male went quiet for a few moments.

“You want my own opinion or an objective one?”

“As much as I would like to hear both, it’s almost lunch time. So I would like to hear your opinion first.”

Sighing at your carefree reply, Cyno closed the book he was reading shut.

“Well, I simply don’t. After all, all living things will come to an end, it is the law of the universe and the reason why they say time is money.”

“Well yeah, I mean, our former archon did die five hundred years ago...”

Puzzled at your deflated mood, Cyno realised that this question didn’t simply popped out of your mind, but rather something that you had been thinking hard about for quite some time.

“Why’d you ask, by the way? You worried about the future?”

“It’s normal to be worried or even sacred okay? This is the very reason why we seek knowledge in the first place. To survive is the natural instinct of humans, and curiosity stems out of it as we can predict the future with more known about the world...”

“And yet the world is so vast, and our lives are so short, but we can pass down our knowledge through our legacy... That is the most basic right of humanity...”

“Yet don’t you think that it is strange? The fact that it has been thousands are even more years that we humans had been existed, there isn’t much we know about the pre-archon war era?”

Cyno looked down as he realised what you said was true.

“Indeed, but there isn’t much we can do about it isn’t there?”

“That’s the problem!! Nobody questions about it and that’s what makes it fishy!”

You are... Quite the special type of student at Sumeru Academia, even though you do seek knowledge about the world you all reside in. Due to the lack of Mysticism studies you didn’t take part in, you were the type to question everything, even the principles that had been decided by the Academia for centuries.

But that’s what allows your breakthroughs in your findings in the past few years here. Rather than focusing on a particular study or field, you tackle anything that comes in your way. Becoming one of the people who had read the most books in this grand library of Sumeru Academia.

Cyno liked that part of you, new perspectives shed more light to the field and it never gets boring when you suddenly throw questions at him for no absolute reason.

“The part where you go ‘seeing is believing’ is the easiest way to deceive someone?” He guessed, letting out a small chuckle.

“Exactly!! ‘Show not tell’, because people believe in what they see so when they try to deceive someone they show what they want them to see.”

“Illusions, mirages... People get tricked so easily without asking their own rationality!”

“So what you’re trying to say is-“

“That we should question this world in the first place!”

‘Here we go again...’ Cyno thought, but he didn’t actually mind your rambling.

“First! Why do we have to trust the gods in the first place? *All we can do is observe the chess game that the gods are playing, we don’t know the rules of the game, but as soon as we speculate it long enough, we’ll be able to guess what the rules are.”

“But in the end, we won’t know if we understand all of the rules cause who can predict what happens in the future anyways?”

“But with Astrology-“

“Do. not. interrupt me.”

Ah, you were getting heated up.

“With enough information, anyone can predict the future, they say. But can we actually do it? We can’t! We’re human after all.”

“Which leads to the question of, why don’t the gods spill the beans if the really care about us so much? But they didn’t.”

“I know it’s hypocritical to judge gods through mortal standards, but I have evidence.”

“If the gods truly care for each single human being of Teyvat, then shouldn’t everyone have a Vision if they’re supposed to be the grace from the gods?”

“You’re saying that those without Visions are not important in the eyes of the gods?”

“Hah, as much as I prefer that they care for both, my instincts tell me that they don’t care for either of them for some reason...”

Cyno narrowed his eyes at your slightly hesitant answer.

“Is this about you not able to obtain a Vision for yourself?”

“Cyno, how many times have I told you? If I were to receive a Vision, I would have went all the way to the archon responsible and politely give it back to them.”

“Politely?”

“Alright, maybe throwing it in their faces before telling them off that I don’t need it.”

“Violent as always, my dear.”

“Elemental energy is not magic anyways, we all know that, and the Hexenzirkel doesn’t often share their findings about Irminsul either...”

“Your point is…?”

“What’s ’free’ is the most expensive, even hilichurls are a problem for normal humans, yet Vision holders see them as eyesores more than anything… Everything comes with a price, Cyno, and I believe that you understand that well.”

“Indeed,” he agreed with a sigh. “For knowledge, we sacrifice time and our energy for it. And the culmination of many scholars forms this very library we are in.”

“The crystallisation of human knowledge, or so I recalled,” you agreed with a huff “but what if that’s the gods want us to believe in? Away from their true purposes in order to keep humanity under the reigns?”

“…”

“You angry? Sorry, I know that it’s disrespectful to judge on people’s faith like this, but I just can’t help but worry about the future when something big is about to happen…”

“N-no, I don’t mind, it’s just-“

“Explaining is concealing and concealing is the truth, go on.”

Cyno realised something, despite you knowing he has a Vision himself, you had come up with theories about the secrets about Visions, mostly concerning ones actually. But he understands it is a way of you caring for him, there are rumours about those who have Visions would one day disappear from the world.

You were scared that one day he would go somewhere that you cannot follow.

But as your partner, he has no intentions of it until you finally seek the answers you had longed for.

“The Geo Archon’s passing, Mondstadt’s Knights of Favonius incapable of fully stopping the Fatui, the electro Archon Baal stopped giving out Electro Visions since last year… Not to mention the Fatui following the Tsarista’s orders by any method of sort…” Cyno listed out. “Yes… It is all quite alarming…”

“But that promise we made the day we met, I have no intention of breaking it.”he reminded with a soft smile on his face.

“I am, your partner in crime after all.”

…

“Here you are again, saying things like that so easily…” you huffed, trying to contain your happiness from his words.

“Until the day I make the gods confess their intentions, I’m not letting you go anywhere without me!”

Seeing you back in your normal mood, the male smiled in relief, all that’s left is to lift your spirits up a bit more.

“I’ll treat you something sweet for lunch, what do you want?”

“W-Wha?! Umm…”

Seeing you flustered at his sudden question, Cyno knows that he had succeeded as you mumble under your breath about what you should pick.

‘Don’t worry too much about the future, try focus on what we have right now, alright?’

‘We are raging treason against the very laws of this world after all, so please allow me to enjoy such little time with you, my dear.’

XXX

I don’t know what I’m writing… QAQ

Exiled, if you want I can make a few more short dribbles about this (well mostly about how they meet and other stuff they think about-)

-lies on ground-

-and dies out of embarrassment-

-snowdrop, out

ANY CYNO CONTENT IS GOOD CONTENT, BUT THAT LORE DUMP WAS NICE AND REFRESHING. YES SNOWDROP, I DO WANT EM GIMME

[illfoandillfie]

Promise

Pairing: Aromantic!Fem!Reader x Ben Hardy

Warnings: Implied smut and some Feelings talk but honestly it’s pretty tame.

Words: 1,413

A/N: It’s Aggressively Arospec Week! So, as promised, I’m going to be posting a few blurbs/short one shots and things during the coming week to celebrate, all of them taking place within my Platonically verse. All of the posts will be tagged as ���platonically event” in case you want to find them later (or block the tag)

This first one is inspired by a song - Promise by The Novel Ideas. I think it was probably written with a more romantic relationship in mind but theres a few lyrics in there that I choose to interpret as queerplatonic, and that especially reminded me of Ben and Reader in Platonically.

Ben’s house was a comforting place. You’d always felt comfortable there, since you’d first become friends with Ben, but especially after you got together. It was bigger than your place for one, an actual house and not a rundown flat you had to share to afford, though it was still fairly small. Its yard was almost non-existent but there was a scrap out the back that caught the sun in the afternoons. More than once you and however many friends had huddled there on wintery afternoons to warm up or else sprawled out in as few layers as you could get away with hoping the mercury wouldn’t rise much higher. So, after a day mostly spent indoors, huddled at your computers, you and Ben decided it might be nice to take a picnic rug out into the sunshine to relax before you had to worry about dinner. Of course, when Ben suggested the idea he chose to use the phrase, “boost our vitamin D levels” and you thought he was insinuating something else entirely.   “Well if that’s really what you want,” he laughed, pretending to reach for the waistband of his joggers.

Instead you stuck to his original idea, grabbing a fuzzy orange blanket from his wardrobe and laying it out over the patchy grass, throwing a couple of pillows down on top so your heads at least would be comfortable. For a while you just sort of did your own things near each other. Ben was preparing for a new movie so took the opportunity to read over the information he had and sections of the script, occasionally muttering to himself or highlighting something important (nearly always almost dropping his phone onto his face). And you happily stretched out beside him, relishing the warmth of the sun as you played games on your phone and scrolled through Tumblr. But, the lower in the sky the sun got, the closer together you moved until the sky was tinted with pink and you were laying perpendicular to each other, your head resting on his stomach. With a sigh, Ben set aside his phone and looked up at the wispy clouds moving across the sky. You knew what he was thinking about though he stayed quiet. “How long before you go?” “We start shooting in two weeks but I fly out a little before that just so I can get settled and meet everyone and there’s time to do any prep stuff before filming actually begins.” He paused but realised he hadn’t really answered you, “twelve days,” “Thats ages away,” you said with a soft laugh though you both knew the time would go by quickly. It wouldn’t be the first time you waved Ben off at the airport, but it would be the first time since you’d decided to be queerplatonic partners. Something about it made you a little sad, knowing you wouldn’t have your best friend by your side for the few months it took to film the movie, but it wasn’t the end of the world and you were excited on his behalf too.   Ben sighed again, less audibly than before but you could feel it in the way his stomach and chest moved so you rolled over to face him, propping yourself up on your elbow, studying the pensive expression he wore and determining he needed cheering up.   “I expect you to bring me back a present,” He smiled, his eyes drifting from the sky down to you as he let his head turn to the side, “I’ll keep that in mind,” “And I don’t mean something crappy like sweets or whatever junk you usually bring me. That was fine before but there has to be some sort of perk since I’m your partner now. I mean, everyone thinks I’m your girlfriend so you really have no choice here, you have to bring me something good.” The smile slowly spread until Ben was laughing, “Okay, something good it is then.” You giggled along with him, ignoring the patch of hard dirt under your elbow until you couldn’t any longer and instead rolled onto your back so you could lie beside him and let him wrap you up in his arms. And for a little while that was enough. It was close to being too warm, hot as you were from laying in the sun, but you didn’t mind, content in the knowledge that Ben was happy too.

Slowly his grip loosened until it was just his palm rubbing gently over your stomach and side, his thoughts back where they’d been before, “If I’d known I wouldn’t have auditioned for the movie,” “What?” “If I’d known things between us would work. At the time I kinda figured it was a good excuse in case asking you out ruined shit. I could just lay low for a few weeks and then dip, give you some space. But now it kinda feels like a mistake.” “Are you kidding? It’s a great roll, Ben, and you’re going to be amazing in it.” “Yeah I know, and I am excited about it,” “I’d hope so since it means you get to go to Greece,” He gave another soft chuckle at that, “Yeah that’s definitely part of my excitement. And it will be fun. But things are really good with you. Like really good. And I don’t want to ruin that by leaving.” You understood where he was coming from but still felt he was being a bit ridiculous, “You better not be getting romantically sentimental on me. It’s not like we live in the Regency period and have to rely on letters in the post or whatever. And besides, we’re not romantically involved so it’s a bit stupid for you to get all depressed about going.” You gave him a poke in the ribs for good measure.   “I promise I’m not,” there was an audible lift in his voice, “I just feel very protective of you. I don’t want you to be sad.” “Uhhhh, I’m going to be house sitting for you so there’s no chance of me being sad. I’ll have this place to myself and I am definitely going to enjoy it. Playing music as loud as I want, eating my way through your stash of chocolate, playing all your video games whenever I want. Able to be loud when I masturbate. No need to worry about accidentally waking up a roommate or walking in on her giving her boyfriend a bj. Fucking paradise really.” Ben snorted at the last bit and squeezed you tight again before kissing your temple, “Okay, sad isn’t a problem then. But I also don’t want you to realise I’m not necessary.” It was your turn to snort though it was less about amusement and more about how daft Ben sounded, “But you aren’t necessary.” “Way to make a guy feel special Y/N,” “No it’s a good thing. Like, being aro, I know I don’t need a relationship of any kind and, honestly, I’d be happy being single. I was happy being single for a long time. I have no desire for a relationship. But I want to be with you anyway. It doesn’t matter that I don’t feel a particular way for you. I just like you so much and think you’re such a good friend and we have so much fun that I’m happy with you. And I don’t want to stop being with you. You being in Greece isn’t going to change that.” “Guess I never thought of it like that. Kinda sweet actually.” “Plus, y’know, we’re pretty great at sex, right?” “Oh definitely great at it.”

It was much darker by then, the sun hanging low in the sky, but you barely noticed as Ben’s lips met yours, soft and comforting at first though neither of you seemed to want to be the one to stop the kiss. So neither of you did stop it. Instead you both shifted around to make it easier, eventually settling with his knee between your legs, giving you something to rock against as his arms loosened and his hands slid down to cup your arse. You knew you would miss him while he was away. He was your best friend so of course you would. But you weren’t worried. And you hoped you could at least distract Ben from whatever worries he had about it, if not cure them entirely.   “It’s getting dark Benny, you wanna move this inside? Think I’m a little low on Vitamin D.”

[count-woe-laf]

You can’t spell stargaze without gays

I write? Since when? Yes I’m aware the title makes no sense, I’m uncreative. This was supposed to be a late birthday present for @me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink but it’s super late now, I still enjoyed writing it and planning it with her, I hope you’re having a great day, Silver. I’m sorry I got science facts wrong and I don’t know how to end things or how normal people talk

Logan and Virgil are hopeless pining gay idiots with horrible communication skills, but they’re working on it. (Romantic analogical, very background royality and platonic dukeceit.) 1850 words

"Bring me a diet coke!" Virgil called to Roman as he ran out of the truck, through the gravel parking lot, and towards the bright 7/11.

Logan let out a small laugh from next to him. "You know he's going to spend an hour flirting with the cashier and forget."

"Yeah I know, it's fine. Surprising that he's moved up from panicking around Patton to flirting with him, that's what I call character development."

"Character development that's gone on for ten too many seasons."

"True. But while he's in there I have more time to spend with you," Virgil replied with a smirk, Logan's cheeks reddening.

"You all are disgusting," called Remus from the backseat.

"I agree," Janus sighed. "Though I can do many things, understanding allos is not one of them."

"Then get out of my truck," Virgil jokingly glared into the rearview mirror.

"It's Roman's truck-" Logan started, Virgil shifted his glare towards him. "Ok yeah, get out."

"Think we can find bigfoot, Jan?"

"We're only half an hour away from the city, try again," but Janus let himself be dragged out into the nearby forest.

Logan and Virgil were left alone, thoughts of what had gone on the past week between them running through their heads. The hand brushes, the late night phone calls, the hoodies, the excessive amount of feelings that for once, neither of them minded. There was always more to say though.

"You can see lots of stars from out here," Virgil commented rather nervously. "You should come outside with me and look at them."

It was an offering just for Logan. He was the only one allowed to stargaze with Virgil while others were flirting in a 7/11 and being chaotic in a forest. Logan and Virgil in the bed of a truck staring at the night sky. ...Well, one of them was looking at the stars.

"You know to stargaze you actually have to look at them, right? You can just look at me, V."

"Who's saying you're not a star? 'Cause you definitely are, love."

"Love?" Logan tilted his head towards Virgil's red face.

"Uh-" Virgil looked away quickly. "What is that constellation? It looks like a spoon."

"Do you seriously not know? That's the big dipper, it's part of the constellation ursa major."

"You're the science-y one here, how would I know?" Logan just sighed. "You should keep talking though, I love your voice."

"Oh… Well that's the northern star…"

"Why is it called that?"

"Um, it's the most northern star, I believe astronomers base things off of it."

Virgil snoted, "wow. Star dudes sure are creative."

Logan looked over, an indescribable emotion on his face. "Pardon me, but did you just call astronomers, 'star dudes'?"

Virgil stared back, a teasing glint in his eyes. "Star. Dudes."

"...I will defenestrate you."

"Oh?"

"Do you even know what that means?"

"Yeah," Virgil said. "It means you pick me up and I get to simp over your muscles."

"It also means I throw you out of a window."

"I'll take what I can get." Logan let out a fond sigh. "Ok 'cause your constellations are boring and factual- don't worry I still love them- but I'm telling stories now."

"You're going to kill me."

"In your dreams, babe."

"What's that supposed to-"

"Over there is Elenor, it kinda looks like a bunny, I know. Their boyfriend is Jesse over there-"

"Virgil I swear, I'm leaving you in the forest." Logan's words gave a much different meaning when he was struggling to keep in his laugh.

Virgil chucked. "Oh Logan, so naive, there's so much more. Those three stars? Yeah they're Bo Peep's sheep."

Logan choked, the statement taking him by surprise. "Excuse me? You can't just…"

"Y'know, from Toy Story? Doesn't she have three sheep or something? I swear that was a plot point in one of the movies."

"The threat of being thrown out of a window still stands, Virge." 

"Good, now that star over there…"

"Her name is Jennifer, she got a constellation for making the best bean salad."

Virgil tried to hold in a laugh. "And what did you say that one was?"

Logan was so enamoured with Virgil's laugh that he almost didn't notice him intertwining their fingers. Almost. He still had to take a breath to regain his nearly non-existent composure. Although fifteen minutes couldn't have passed, Logan could tell that it was a good decision to accept Roman's offer for a fake road trip.

"That guy with the belt?" Logan continued. "He was the first person to invent clothes. Quite the fashion icon for his time."

"Oh yeah?" Virgil giggled and Logan's heart stuttered in his chest.

"Yeah, he was also the only straight man in his village. It was very controversial." Virgil hummed in response, trying to calm his laughter.

"We're pretty controversial."

"What do you mean by that?"

"We're lying in the bed of Roman's truck, well past midnight and the city limits, looking at stars. Janus and Remus are probably lost in the forest and Roman and Patton have probably gotten over their gay panic and are planning their wedding together."

"I'm not sure how that's controversial, but it is interesting that we've achieved nothing compared to them." Logan's eyes drifted back to the stars.

"I think not getting lost is a plus." He made a noise of agreement. "And uh… I know we're not as vocal about stuff like the others but… Dating you wouldn't be bad." It came out more like a question, causing Logan to look back at him.

"Fuck- I mean-" Virgil ran a hand down his face. "It would actually be really really nice if I could be your boyfriend because- ugh stop staring at me like that! It's just that you're really great and nice to be around and to talk to and I can't imagine you not being in my life. A-and I know we've been kinda sorta dating but you know how dumb we both are about romance and all that stuff- oh god this is romance, I can't believe that…

"I just really like you, Logan and I need to make sure you know that."

Virgil's words swirled into the air, into the sky, into that great expanse of stars and light.

They laid there and stared at the stars, thinking, considering, and a fair amount of staring on Logan's side.

He couldn't help it, really. He couldn't stop his eyes tracing the curve of his jaw, his bitten lips, the words that previously escaped them were still spinning through Logan's head. And Virgil's hair, his adorably messy hair that was usually hanging in front of his eyes, was pushed to the side, Logan could see a galaxy reflected in his beautiful eyes.

Virgil was his galaxy, his sun, his stars. He had kept him sane through years of school. He constantly went out of his way just to brighten Logan's day a little bit more, and brighten he did.

Virgil meant everything to him and he'd be damned if he went home tonight without showing him that.

"Didn't… Didn't you say you always wanted to go stargazing with your partner?"

"Uhh, yeah." Virgil replied hoarsely.

"I suppose you get to cross that off your list, then." Logan wondered how he suddenly had some semblance of smoothness to his words.

"Oh."

The stars seemed awfully bright that night, especially in the way they reflected off Virgil's freckles.

"Is… Is that a shooting star?" Virgil lifted his free hand, tracing the bright line across the map of stars.

"There's no such thing as shooting stars." Virgil rolled his eyes. "But, I… do believe that's a satellite."

"Then make a wish."

"That's stupid and makes no sense, wishing on a satellite has no affect on my life."

"Just do it, my northern star."

Logan's red face was a reflection off the far away street lights, nothing else. "Am I supposed to tell you what I wished for?"

"Not really, but you can. I'd love to know what goes on in that brilliant head of yours."

"My head is empty, unfortunately." Virgil laughed, he did that quite a bit around him. "I wished that we'd have a good relationship. Apologizes, is that weird, or too soon? I… just mean that we're both terrible at communicating, I hope that we can improve together as a couple."

“Oh."

Although Virgil may not have realized it, Logan noticed as he lightly brushed his thumb over his hand. It was stupidly endearing and soft, just as Virgil was.

"That's probably the cutest thing anyone's ever said that slightly regards me."

"Glad I can be of service, darling."

"So darling is what you go with?"

"Would you prefer something else?"

"...No. If I can call you my boyfriend you can call me whatever you want." Virgil smiled. "…You're my boyfriend. That's nice to say."

"It is. I wonder how I stumbled upon a boyfriend as good as you."

"You- you need to stop doing that," Virgil blushed.

"I'm not doing anything!" Logan shifted closer to him, for heating purposes of course, it was a little chilly. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know full well."

"Do I really, Virgil?"

"Shut up and look at the stars."

"Make me."

"Logan I swear-"

"Fine, fine, I will." Virgil mumbled thanks under his breath. "But they aren't as pretty as you."

Virgil let out a noise, a mix between a screech and a cough. There was no way he was showing Logan how fluttery his words made his heart feel. (Although he felt it was common knowledge among them.)

"There's around twenty minutes until the others get back, that's twenty minutes to mess with you."

"I'm already regretting this, Lo."

"As you should, my love."

Yes, their friends may have interrupted their stargazing a few minutes later. Yes, Roman may have forced Patton to leave his shift early resulting in one too little seats and an angry boss. Yes, they may have almost ran out of gas on the way home. Yes, they may have bought fries as Janus looked for a gas station. Yes, they may have fallen onto the floor seconds later. Yes, Remus may have jumped out of the car afterwards because he said it looked fun and almost sprained his ankle. And yes, Roman did have to explain the situation five times to his parents because they couldn't stop laughing about all the shenanigans they got into that night.

Still, Virgil's arm stayed around Logan's waist like it was the most casual thing in the world. Still, they shared a milkshake once everyone had given up on the fallen fries. Still, they were both filled with such a bright happiness that it was impossible to drag them down. And maybe they fell asleep on a video call that night. Or maybe Logan stayed over and they woke up with their limbs tangled in each other's, feeling content and appreciative of the other as they slowly woke up. Honestly, who's to say? It was just a good night.

[austennerdita2533]

Hey!

I love Penelope Douglas for sure check her out! She writes some of the best smut tbh. I’m working my way through her devils night series right now-I’m on book 2. It’s good so far, definitely dark though. I’m interested to see how she goes about a redemption arc for the character Damon right now I don’t think he deserves one but I hear such good things about his book, Killswitch, but that’s book 3 so I will see how it goes. I definitely recommend Birthday Girl from her though I loved it and the couple from it are my favorite age gap could I’ve ever read. I find myself still re reading some of their best moments.

I am slightly embarrassed by Credence though so I hope it doesn’t bother you too much if you read it. Just so you know before going into it, it is about her and her step uncle/cousins. To be fair they are not blood related and very distance to the point she didn’t even know about them. But she does call him Uncle Jake during a sex scene, and the two others call her cousin during one too. There’s also a MMF scene with her two cousins. But on top of that there is a sexual assault scene (it does get stopped but the intent is there)-personally I wasn’t a fan of how she inwardly dealt with that scenario it felt like she was blaming herself for it instead of holding the other character accountable. Uncle Jake also does kiss her when she is still 17. So if any of that makes you uncomfortable don’t read it.

I’m so happy you liked the atlas six as much as I did. I can’t believe we have to wait until next year for the sequel to see what happens. It’s too long!! I also liked Callum the least, I still appreciated his character though and what he brings to the story I just wasn’t a fan of his, probably because of his problems with Libby/Parisa. Plus his powers terrify me-as someone who likes to have full control of my emotions the fact that someone could just change everything scares me. I also loved Nico he is my typical character that I love the whole I’m an asshole but soft and caring for the people I love gets me every time. Parisa is my queen though I’m obsessed with her. Like I’m literally in love with her, I wish she was real so she could be with me instead. Not that she would because I’m broke have 0 magic or power to give to her, but still. But I have a thing for power hungry women so I was gone the second I met her. But anyway if she was real she could destroy me or do anything she wanted to me and I would say thank you. Reina I also love and agree she could destroy the whole planet and one day probably will. I just love how she is there and wants all that knowledge but also doesn’t give a fuck about anyone else. Tristan also grew on me I’m still not completely sure how much I like or don’t like him yet he gets annoying sometimes because he is constantly in his mind about his alliances but I also love how loyal and caring he is. Libby is my girl!! I also relate to her as well since I was an outcast and battled inadequacy and all that (you and I must have some stuff in common!) Out of all the characters I relate to her the most and am rooting for her so hard-also because the author made her from Pittsburgh and I’m also from the area so I felt personally attached. But Olivie just did an interview and said Libby is getting a corruption arc and I am so excited about it!!

Okay ships- so I will be honest and I think it’s an unpopular opinion but oh well-I am a nicolibby stan. They have every single dynamic that I love in a ship and they could potentially be my favorite book couple of all time if that is the road they are being taken. Honestly I was obsessed with them from their first interaction so i have it bad for them. Obviously I know they were not romantic in this book but the potential (at least for me) was there especially in some of their quotes in the end. I fully believe they are soulmates though-even the author said they were born on the same day and feel like their other half is missing in an interview once-whether that will be platonic soulmates or romantic soulmates I have no idea and I could see either happening. My heart will break if it is platonic but it’s okay I can just live in my own little head about their potential.

But I get the idea and also like both libbytristan and NicoGideon and could see those happening instead of nicolibby too. I wouldn’t say I would be mad about it either-I do like both just to me the potential of nicolibby works more for me! My only thing about libbytristan though is I’m not sure how much of their tension/feelings are real (like did any of it exist before Parisa put the idea of the other person in their thoughts to lead to all the feelings.)

Weirdly enough since they probably my least favorite characters I also adore Tristan and Callum together. Their dynamic just works for me.

And I love Parisa and Dalton too and I’m so interested in how that relationship pans out because they have some stuff to figure out. But they work well together and honestly they are just so sexy together so I’m down for it. Although I do ship myself with Parisa more than her and Dalton but I’m biased.

Honestly though all the ships are wide open though so I’m curious to see what ends up being endgame. But omg yes the twist I was not expecting it-I’m so excited for the rest of this trilogy!!!

In other news though I finished up the ravenhood series. I know you said you either read it or it was on your tbr. But god I loved it. That series broke me and then put back all the pieces. If you haven’t read it and want to feel both heartbreak and happiness I highly recommend it!

Oh and don’t apologize for babbling as you can tell I also babble!!

-ACOTAR anon

Hiiiii sweets!

I've been sifting through a bunch of summaries of Penelope Doulgas' work on Goodreads and there's a bunch of stuff there I think I'd enjoy. I'm all about good smut. I didn't realize she had that many books. I'm excited! Thanks so much for the rec! I love dark romances/erotica every now and again so I'm also going to have to dive into the Devil's Night series at some point.

Oh, and idk if you know about it/read it but a couple of my friends told me about the Crossfire series by Sylvia Day a while back. It's BDSM, like Fifty Shades, but supposedly loads better. I don't know if you're into that but I figured I'd just throw it out there anyway. The smut is supposed to be steamy. I haven't read it yet but I do have the first four novels on my Kindle (where they've been sitting, unread, for about 2 years now)...so that's something haha.

And please don't be embarrassed about Credence. Seriously, the most wonderful thing about reading is you can go wherever tf you want in your imagination. No one can stop you. There are no rules. No restrictions. You can be whomever or whatever you want to be for a while, morality notwithstanding. One of my favorite things about books is that I can experience the most bonkers, outlandish out-of-this-world stuff that I'd never dream of wanting/liking in real life. It's liberating!

Thank you for the trigger warnings, though. I appreciate that. None of them sound off-putting enough to keep me from reading it. (Tbh, I want to read it more now.) I've read loads of books where characters marry or have sex with their cousins or siblings *waves at ASOIAF, the Secret History* so it doesn't bother me. I've also read most of Lolita and all of My Dark Vanessa by Kate Russell, which both romanticize pedophilia in disturbing degrees, so it takes a lot to put me off. If curiosity could kill then I'd be long dead by now. Hell, sometimes I will purposely read things I know will upset me to my core. What can I say? I'm a weirdo. 🙃

I DON'T WANT TO WAIT A YEAR FOR BOOK 2 OF THE ATLAS SERIES, EITHER. AHHHHH. How am I going to make it that long? It seems so far away!

Callum is the most terrifying of them all right now, imo. I think that's why I disliked him the most. Like you, it shook me to my core to imagine someone like him being able to toy with my emotions. I have a tendency to detach, to keep my emotions pressed close to my chest so that I can't be manipulated or hurt, and the idea that someone could have power over them, over me in that way is...no freaking thank you! I would put as much space between him and me as possible. Most of the Atlas crew had the right idea there. He does bring a lot to the story, though, like you said. I have a feeling he's going to be one of those characters I "love to hate" as the series progress. I might even grow to "hate to love" him, idk. He's just such a shady bastard! And so judgmental/mean to the girls.

I'm with you on Parisa, by the way. She's the kind of conniving, ambitious siren of a woman I can get behind. She has a similar vibe as Katherine Pierce on TVD. I mean, there's nothing in her arsenal she won't use and I love how she weaponizes her beauty. It's delicius. She's unpredictable. Definitely the type of character who inspires "scared and aroused" energy any time she walks into a room. Like, she could choke you and instead of crying you'd just ask her to do it again...harder lol.

Reina has the same kind of "no fucks given" attitude I have because I genuinely don't care what people think of me, either. I'm just here to do my thing. Be nerdy. Learn. Whatever. And Nico is my fave for the same reason as you--the asshole who only has soft edges for those who matter to him. *heart eyes*

Omg, Libby is going to have a corrupted arc? AHHHHH. That's going to be amazing, I cannot stinking wait! I was sort of hoping she'd go dark so now that it's confirmed I'm even more pumped. Also, I think you and I have more in common than either of us realized. I'm from the Pittsburgh area, too! How wild is that? Maybe there's something in the water here and that's why, like Libby, we've both felt inadequate and like outcasts at different points in our lives? Olivie might be onto something here...🤔

The thing that's been so cool for me about this series so far is that there are a bunch of potential pairings I could get behind. And I kind of like that it's not clear cut right now. Most series I know who I want together or who will be together like halfway through book 1. I like that I don't know have firm preferences and am still open. That's novel. Not to mention fun!

I don't blame you for shipping Nicolibby so hard, though. They're definitely one of my top contenders for a romantic pairing. They have that enemies-to-lovers element with witty banter that I always gravitate toward. And you're right about Libby/Tristan. I don't know how much of their connection was manufactured because Parisa intervened, either. That'll be fun to puzzle out moving forward. And Callum/Tristan should NOT be a ship I like but they have a palpable something that I can't put my finger on. I've got my eye on them, for sure.

The Ravenhood series is still on my tbr. I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed it so much, though! It's rare to read something that just ticks all your boxes. The next time I'm the mood to binge a series I'm gonna have to pick that one up. :-D

I've been trying to clear out my backlog of ARCs lately. (Not possible because I'm getting more on the regular - as in constantly haha - but I'm trying.) I just finished Wish You Were Here by Jodi Picoult, which has a Sliding Doors premise that is set during the pandemic where the main character has a parallel life experience (one, where she's in the Galapagos Islands on vacation when the shutdown hits so she's stuck there with strangers, alone, not speaking the language; the other, where she's in Manhattan with her surgeon boyfriend and recovering from COVID). It's intense but so, SO good! Picoult is such a good writer. Anything I've read by her has been moving, with rounded and real characters. I haven't been disappointed yet. I so recommend her.

Oh, and if you're into nonfiction/biographies at all I finished The Splendid and the Vile by Erik Larson not long ago, which is about Winston Churchill as well as those around him, and it was fantastic! Read more like fiction. I loved it. I am no longer surprised it was on all the BEST lists for 2020.

[lesserfandomappreciation]

Hello hello!  Thank you that’s really kind of you!!! I love your writing (congrats on Chap 9, it was awesome)!

Personally I am terrible at flirting or even understanding how it works, so I did my best with this. Hope it comes across as good!

This wound up longer than expected, whoops! Flirting with Self-conscious s/o ( Red Shoes and the 7 Dwarfs )

Arthur

Charm out the wazoo. Arthur’s boisterous personality combined with his a princely upbringing and deeply instilled ideas on what a knight should be have created an inherent need to be charming when he’s interested in someone. It can range from surprisingly smooth to over-the-top. He’s pretty good at coming up with them on the go too, responding to what may be an innocuous question with a decent line.

His lines come in three main forms. 

Traditional knight/ye olde romantic keeping ideas of courtly wooing.

“May I join you, milady/milord?”

“Should you feel fear let me know. It’s a warrior’s duty to protect that which he treasures.”

Painfully, genuinely sweet lines that work only because he’s showing his real self and is not being over-the-top.

“Could I... hold your hand?”

Boasting: AKA showing off his muscles and hyping himself up (desperate moves he thankfully only rarely uses now thanks to his experience with Snow White)

The issue with all of these is that they come across as a bit fake or showy, as this type of flirting really isn’t for everyone. So a line missing when flirting with his self-conscious s/o is something he sort of expected. He doesn’t think it’s because they’re self-conscious, Arthur just thinks he messed up.

The way the self-consciousness manifests itself is going to change the way he reacts. For example, if they withdraw a lot, he’s going to think he really goofed it and is going to apologize, asking for clarification on what he did wrong so that he doesn’t do it again. That’s a very different reaction than if s/o were to bluntly tell him they didn’t believe him, leaving him dumbfounded.

The first reaction aside, Arthur would want to let them know he genuinely meant it, but his own lack of experience would really get in the way of that. How does he go about this? Him being him though, he would confront them directly about it and in that moment let his inner sweetheart shine as he makes it clear that he meant what he said. 

If they want to explain why they feel that way about themselves, great he’ll listen, but even if they don’t he asks them to not speak about themselves that way. They’re too wonderful to be hateful towards themselves.

After that the prince makes it a point to compliment them every single day. It’s not even always flirting, it’s straight up compliments. Their smarts, their passions, their looks, their hands, their eyes - everything is free game, and he’s not going to stop giving sincere compliments until they get it through their heads he likes them for them for a reason, and they should too. 

Pino

Stating facts about them counts as flirting, right? Cards on the table I don’t think Pino is really capable of flirting well, at least not on purpose. Yes, he’s mature and the eldest but that doesn’t necessarily equip him for the terrifying world that is interpersonal relationships outside of family. To even try to flirt takes a massive amount of pondering before he lets out a single word

His flirting, thus, is not so much flirting as it is:

A) stating things he likes about them/ Sort of.

“You are very smart. And strong. Strong and smart. Smrong.”

“You are a good size.”

B) complimenting them about something they did.

“Good job.”

“’You did good with that.” 

C) Giving up and just staring silently trying to think of something to say. Anything. Come on brain you helped build a selfie machine surely stringing words together isn’t that hard.

That one video of Lin-Manuel Miranda chanting “Come on brain, think of things.”

D) Any of the above, only his brothers are there to be the world’s best worst okayest wingmen.

The thing is, is that with this style of flirting barely comes across as flirting. S/o or not, it is going to be very difficult for anyone to pick up on any of this as intentional romantic interest rather than Pino being... Pino. Most people would maybe register this as awkward platonic compliments, if even that. His insecure s/o’s self-consciousness may not kick in for a while until they figure out that this is Pino desperately trying to show intentions.

Someone give this man cue cards he’s hurting.

Actually no don’t do that his brothers might get ideas. 

Despite this terrible inability to communicate romantic feelings, Pino does have one thing going for him. A stupid amount of emotional knowledge courtesy of keeping an eye on his brothers. Pino’s not dumb. When it comes to the people he really cares about he can get a good read on them. His s/o is no different. 

Upon realizing that s/o, the same s/o he has been pining after for weeks of awkward semi-flirting, has self-conscious issues, Pino is baffled. Bamboozled. Confusioned. Setting his own feelings to the side, the eldest brother works up the nerve to tell them full throttle that they are awesome. He doesn’t know what they have been through, nor where the feelings come from, but he will not let this stand. He is a little curt and blunt, but the intent is there.

If his s/o says 1 tiny negative thing about themselves, he’s armed with something they cannot deny. Facts. Pino has been debating his brothers for years, he will make charts if he has to.

Noki

Constant non-stopping stream of compliments. Noki is what happens when a fidget spinner is outfitted with an energy-drink powered engine. Pino, Hans and Jack can only somewhat keep him from vibrating into another dimension, and that’s with their powers combined. When he has someone in his sights, that energy is re-focused on making his s/o feel like royalty. 

Flirting is, if nothing else, absolutely amazing to witness in just how it is:

One constant stream of consciousness that results in compliment after compliment.

“That’s amazing, you’re amazing, that hat really suits you-”

“Your hair looks really nice today, though it usually looks nice every day-”

Painfully, unapologetically, sincerely sweet, gen-u-ine statements that could give anyone a bad case of sugar rush. 

“Why wouldn’t I want to be here? I really like spending time with you, you’re a really fun person.”

“When you smile your noise gets all crinkly and it’s super cute, you’re like a kitten!”

Cheesy, horrible one-liners that were bad in high school then and are bad in current times now. 

“Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.” 

^^^^ That’s as much as I’m writing on that, this stuff is painful.

The painful part in all of this is that Noki, being Noki, is going to have no flippin’ clue that his s/o is feeling about this until he starts paying very close attention to their reactions. Are they turning away from him because they are hiding a blush, or because they are hiding tears? Are they blushing and incoherent because he’s just that good, or because they have no idea how to respond, this is a new experience to them, someone please show them mercy and send help. 

“Wait, you don’t believe me??? Why?!” Noki is not going to hide his bewilderment at all. This whole time he’s been flirting with them and they thought he was kidding??? He thought he was bad at this, not that they were going through some insecurities he may be encountering for the first time. He is going to sit down next to them, and s/o has about two seconds to decide whether or not they’re going to talk about it, because otherwise he is.

“You are amazing though! Everyone knows it! Snow White, Merlin, Sword-head, Hans, Jack, my brothers- we all know it! Do you think I could invent something that can possibly help this? You should have to go through life thinking badly of yourself when the world is a brighter place because of you! I-” 

TBH I do not have room for the whole rant here, but essentially this would likely wind up with him confessing because this is painfully obvious. 

By the end of this, he plans to make them blushy every single day until they see the them he sees, and beyond that too!

Kio

Shy sweetness that will punch you in the stomach when you least expect it. Oh you thought because he’s shyer and quieter than his brothers (and the entirety of the F7) that he isn’t capable of delivering some one-hit KOs using nothing but his words? You thought?! Pino is awkward but mature, Noki is a ball of constant validation, but Kio will use his reputation for shyness as an excuse to flirt out of the blue and then move on like nothing happened. 

Personal touch may be awkward for him but verbally making his s/o a goober just like him is his secret to being confident with his words. His s/o is in for it. 

Kio is a sneaky bastard who has the least range of flirtation (only 2 types really) but boy oh boy are they wildly different. 

The supreme sweetness that Noki (most of the boys if we’re being honest) take notes on when they want to be sweet to their loved ones.

“That’s a new bracelet isn’t it? It’s really suits you, you make it look good.”

“All your expressions are lovely but when you smile, the whole world seems brighter.”

The, ah, spicy stuff that none of the F7 besides Pino know that he is capable of uttering. Pino has no proof and is going crazy trying to prove to the group that the youngest brother can be downright heated with his flirting. 

“I could see you anywhere and be happy. Outside. Inside. In a house. In the bed. Especially the last one.”

“Your eyes are not the only part of you I could get lost in.”

Kio does not have the problem of not being clear in flirting. He’s not subtle. At all. As you’ve seen in some of the examples. The problem is that it can be a lot for a person to process, especially one that has self-consciousness issues. It really is out of the blue, which can throw the other person off when they’re not expecting it. Which is always. 

Thankfully, he is the happy middle between Noki and Pino’s ability to sense that something is wrong. It does take him a bit to pick up on it, but eventually he puts two and two together to realize s/o really is reacting oddly. Not in that they’re shy, but that there’s an underlying issue. It does take him a while to talk about it though because he has no clue how to approach it. It’s not a subject he’s good at tackling. 

The thought his s/o is going through this solo though does get him to gently pull them aside and ask them about it. He wants to know if it’s him overstepping into a very uncomfortable territory, if it’s specific things that trigger a certain response or if it’s something else entirely. Kio is a good listener, and mentally remembers a lot of notes for the next time he wants to compliment them. 

Very much makes it a point to let them know that hey, he likes them for them, and that yes, he is going to continue to give specific compliments their way because he adores them and they are worth it. 

[confusedhost-archive]

Coffeeshop Au

She-Ra coffeeshop au because I said so:

Everyone works at one of two shops: Hoard or Princess Alliance

At the very beginning, it shows Adora, a normal human, and her friend Catra (everyone looks the same, has the same powers) in the breakroom chatting, and then they switch shifts with Kyle, Rogilio and whatever her name is- I can’t remember- 

Yay! You get to meet Shadow Weaver, who is being very rude to the girls because her coffee was too hot (and also because Catra made it and no one is allowed to make her coffee except Adora)

Adora ends up missing a day and gets fired, which is immediately met with distaste from Shadow Weaver

Adora gets a new job at The Princess Alliance

Quickly becomes friends with Glimmer and Bow, but Glimmer’s mom, the owner of the cute shop, is less happy with her, as she looks like a gangster

Catra has mixed feelings about Adora not being at work, as she is now able to get promoted to manager beside Scorpia, but also she doesn’t see Adora like, ever, anymore

Adora’s aunt, Mara, died recently, and LightHope, Mara’s wife, came over to give Adora a charm with the words She-Ra carved in the side. 

Adora promises to visit the farm and see LightHope soon

With the knowledge that she has a bit of her mother figure still with her, Adora throws herself into baking, creating her newest pastry: She-Ra

Was named after the charm!

It is the best thing anyone has ever tasted. They sell out quick, and become Adora’s special (All the princess’ have specials, they’re at the bottom of the post)

Aight, so Entrapta misses a couple days, didn’t call in sick, and was fired

Immediately picked up by Hoard and now has a new job! Stuck with Catra and Scorpia until Catra got promoted

Afterwards she met Hordak, and they started talking 

and then they started flirting in their cute roundabout way

Hordak had to leave for a few days because Imp needed to go to the hospital, he left Catra in charge (She’s manager anyway, but now she had free reign)

With Double Trouble’s help, Catra made a fake resigning form for Entrapta while firing her

While this is going on, everyone gets word about Prime Restaurant chain wanting to set up in the area. Hordak would like to sell his shop for them, but first he needs to get another place to set up (He only decides this after he comes back, and he needs something to do after learning that someone he thought he had a connection with just left)

Entrapta hasn’t really let it sink in that she’s unemployed. Goes to get a coffee from a starbucks nearby, name and coffee get mixed up with someone named Micah. (Think when she stole his bug)

Start talking, then bow and Adora just speed walk into the shop like, “Hey Entrapta, would you like to be hired for Princess Alliance again?”

(Bow is also kinda like “Hey wtf, is that you, Micah?” And Micah’s like, “Hey, Bow, is that you?”)

And Entrapta’s like, “Hired? Oh, uh sorry, I have to- oh.” and its suddenly sinking in that she doesn’t work at Hoard anymore and (excuse me if this isn’t what would actually happen but it happened not to long ago so I’m just giving it to Entrapta rn) she is kinda just moving around and kinda just trying to get away from anything touching her because it all just feels horrible against her skin and shiz

and she just kinda goes “Yes, I’d like to be hired, but please leave me alone right now, I’d like to not be touched,” and so Bow and Adora kind of hesitantly go away and Micah stays walking her through her (I don’t know what this is. Touch aversion? A mild panic attack? A depressive episode?)

Anyway, cut away, and now we see Adora and Bow sitting on the roof of the cafe. Talking, thinking about life, doing a bit of college homework. Adora is playing with her charm, and then she drops it and it shatters. Obviously, she’s freaking out, that’s the only thing she has of Mara and it means so freaking much to her

Bow is trying to help and is gathering up the shards, and finds a little piece of paper among it all. Adora reads it and completely breaks down crying. No one knows what it says but her (which is to say I don’t know what it says)

Takes a break for a couple days, going to LightHope, her aunt, and 

(In this time, Entrapta has reluctantly gone back to work, Micah has procrastinated around seeing his ex-wife and daughter, Angela has packed up for a plane trip, Hordak is having trouble finding another place to set up shop, and Prime restaurant chain is moving in)

Adora comes back with a new fire and an upgrade to her She-ra pastry, tastes even better now

Micah finally got the courage to go see his family, only to find out that Angela had just left for a trip that morning. (They get the news that the plane had an accident and Angela didn’t survive later in the evening)

Afterwards, Glimmer moves out of the cafe, finding it to be too empty. This leaves the top floor of the cafe completely open. She’s living with Bow and Adora now!

Scorpia, a panicking second manager of Hoard cafe, is juggling running the cafe, keeping Catra in check and finding a new place 

Double Trouble, as is their job for the owner, finally fills out their form on what had happened while Hordak was away. He finally learns that Entrapta didn’t leave him. 

Scorpia goes to the Princess Alliance and tells them that she heard their top floor was open. She’s desperate

It takes a few times to get them to agree, but the Princess Alliance realize that there’s no point in fighting like this. After a few more hours of haggling with the cost, Scorpia turns to leave

She comes back after a couple seconds. “Um, actually, is Entrapta here?”

Scorpia and Entrapta come back into Hoard cafe, chatting. Hordak walks out of the back, holding Imp. Entrapta looks over and sees him. She just jumps him, helping both of them stay up and holding Imp with her hair. 

“Did you hear the news?” She laughs

Scorpia jumps in, telling Hordak how they found a place for the shop to go; right above the Princess Alliance. Entrapta is really helping Scorpia sell it, but Catra is getting upset. 

“No! We’re enemies or whatever, right? We shouldn’t be sharing space with them!” 

Hordak has already given his okay. “I’m sure we’ll be able to become closer, Catra, it should be alright.”

Catra is extremely reluctant about all of this, but while they’re setting up in the top area, she’s beginning to rekindle her friendship with Adora. (And also maybe feeling like at some point her feelings had stopped being just platonic. She has no clue when this happened.)

Scorpia is doing pretty well with taking boxes of stuff up, and after a while they figure out that the dark aesthetic won’t be working well side by side with the pastel fluff that is the Princess Alliance. So Scorpia says they change it up a bit. So she goes downstairs and, “Is anyone free right now?”

It’s Perfuma that looks over. “Oh! Yes, I am!”

Scorpia gives a little smile. “Great! We need some design help and we were wondering..”

With a happy gasp, Perfuma hangs up her apron and walks upstairs. Perfuma is made for this. After being told that they’d like to keep the general dark aesthetic, she says that giving it that certain quiet feel, very unlike the loud chatter that comes from downstairs, students will likely want to come by to study

It’s a hit. A few plants with calming aromas, gifted by Perfuma herself, and some teas that help with stress made by Scorpia, students are running in. It’s generally very quiet here, and it’s really helping the stress that the employees go under too!

Scorpia and Perfuma may or may not have gotten closer in a romantic sense because of this-

Catra and Adora are also getting closer, friends first, then girlfriends. It’s quite the trip for everyone else in the shop. 

Entrapta and Hordak are basically just parents to Imp now, and Imp’s only job at this point is to make fun of Hordak for having a crush. It is a romantic relationship, yes

At some point the the Hoard and Princess Alliance become one place with two names. Menu is the same on both floors and anyone can be a waiter at whichever floor they like. 

Just a few things that exist but aren’t really plot relevant:

Hordak has anger issues and trouble understanding his feelings 

Hordak has weak bones in his arms specifically

Imp is Hordak’s nephew who he ended up adopting after Imp’s parents died

Hordak and Entrapta both like working with robotics

Entrapta is making a project to support Hordak’s weak arms in order to help him do things. Talking with his doctor to figure out what’s safe and such

Frosta is Glimmer’s cousin who has been given the okay to volunteer at the cafe. She comes and goes as she pleases and whether or not you get a Frosta special depends on whether she’s in or not

Time for the specials!

Entrapta’s: Donut holes. Her special is a pack of donut holes that are literally the best you’ve ever tasted. Your pack has one of each flavor and they are made with such care- just- No special drink for her though

Perfuma: Mango hibiscus clementine cold tea. I have had it before. It tastes really freaking good. She always grows a little flower for you to eat and puts it on top. The texture of the flower is nice, and the petals are sweet. The food portion is a fruit salad with flower petals sprinkled on top!

Frosta: Icecream sunday! And slushie! No one knows what exactly goes into the flavoring on top, but it tastes really good and Frosta promises it’s safe for all allergies she knows of. Makes sure to ask about any allergies though, just in case!

Mermista: It’s a small cake. Has this general water/beach vibe! Drink changes from day to day. Always an iced coffee though!

Glimmer: Cupcakes!! The inside of the cupcake has a small portion of sprinkles. Very sweet, too sweet for some. Pastel smoothie too! Family recipe, shared between Angela and Glimmer. Has sprinkles littered on top of a nice helping of whipped cream! Very glittery

Angela: Called the heart of Etheria. Not one single person knows what it’s classified as, and only Glimmer and Angela know how to make it. It’s heavenly

No more specials (Scorpia doesn’t work at Princess Alliance)

Micah and Angela had a divorce when Glimmer was young. It wasn’t because they disliked each other or anything, just, Micah learned that he was aromantic and felt a little bit uncomfortable with the marriage. They broke it off as friends and lived under the same house- like, it was all exactly the same, except they didn’t have the title of husband and wife

Then Micah had to go away because he found a job somewhere else and they ended up loosing contact

Swiftwind lives on the farm with LightHope

Catra and Adora are childhood friends who had the same Preschool teacher: Shadow Weaver

Angela lives on the second floor of the cafe with Glimmer

Entrapta has a roomba and she’s taken to it the way tumblr has

Entrapta has a tiny Emily that she made with Hordak’s help at a robotics workshop

Adora lived with Catra and moved to share an apartment with Bow afterwards

Shadow Weaver may or may not have died shoving Catra and Adora out of the way of a car that was driving on the sidewalk

There are fricking huge windows looking out on the street for both floors and on the other side of the street is a grassy park, so it’s really nice.

[nad-zeta]

match-up request?

hi! i hope this finds you in good health and i hope you are having a wonderful day so far! i would like an ikemen sengoku match-up, if that is okay? if not, then i apologise and ignore me, haha… this might get long, i don’t know?

alright, so i am a female gemini with isfp personality. in terms of appearance, i am pretty average — brown hair, brown eyes, average height, so i wouldn’t put much attention into that, haha.

now, in terms of personality… well, it gets kind of tricky. it really depends on who i am with — some people could describe me as a silent, straightforward type who doesn’t say much and acts pretty mature ( which is usually in formal situations or when i am feeling threatened by someone ) while others can describe as total opposite; playful, loud and outspoken ( usually in front of friends and family ).

in any way, most of the time i give off this very confident and ‘i don’t give a damn’ vibe, and as such, many would say i am very chill and don’t bother myself with problems and stress, which is very wrong but that’s the impression i leave. i do tend to behave like that, though, as i am not a fan of opening up to everyone and anyone about my true emotions. that being said, i will probably tease people and behave superior in terms of 'not feeling anything’, as i dislike appearing 'weak’ and giving others the advantage. either that, or i just really have something i’d call 'trust issues’. it’s not that serious though — honestly, i am just really playful, sarcastic, playfully flirty and throwing around dark humour and philosophical tales about conspiracy theories. or i am playfully ( or seriously, if i am riled up ) argumentative and up for debates!

though, i do like openness in relationships! be it platonic or romantic. i am a communicative type, and no matter how passive i might be at times, i always prefer to talk things out or am willing to hear people out. i may not be the best listener and comforter ( awkward person alert ), but i do try to give advice and be there for someone as i feel satisfied with my own existence if i feel useful. one of the ways i weigh my self-worth actually is in being capable of making people smile or laugh, or just feel better. i’d say my love language is a mix of physical touch and giving gifts?

i have many interests, going from medicine to botany, astrology, astronomy, writing, art, photography, languages, spirituality — honestly anything that sparks curiosity within me. though, i am also very likely to procrastinate and leave all those interests on hold. though i like to consider myself open-minded, i am also extremely stubborn. my opinion is right ( i am very well aware that it may not be, but that’s just how stubborn i am 😂 ) and it takes a lot of convincing to make me change my mind ( remember when i said debates? ). though, lately i have been tending not to get so riled up over everything, and will not argue unless it really ticks the nerve.

i am, however, willing to apologise if i feel or notice i was at wrong. my sense of guilt is rather big and if i feel guilty or bad, i will seek to fix it. forgiveness is a big thing for me.

along with stubbornness, i’d say some of my flaws could be that hidden sensitivity and lack of emotion towards people or situations, at times — for i can behave rather coldly. i also have minor mood-swings — i had late night situations where i cried my heart out after laughing at stuff, or when i was pretty cheery at school but then just got quiet. oh, yeah, if i am mad, i will probably be silent and not talk to someone! i am a walking contradictory.

i am very affectionate, though. even if one may never guess, i adore hugs and physical contact and am very likely to annoy someone with either giving attention or seeking attention. honestly, it just takes to become a bit closer to me and i will be silly, affectionate and fluffy.

not going to try to describe any of the ikemen sengoku characters, i don’t want anything to be biased, haha, but i will say that i don’t like people who don’t know what they want and who are not serious about things that require seriousness and maturity. and honestly, that goes in both platonic and romantic waters.

ah, that ended up being long and messy, i wonder if it is even understandable? it’s pretty hard to describe yourself as objectively and as shortly as possible, at least for me…

i hope that this is alright with you? again, i sincerely, really apologise if you aren’t taking these requests at the moment or just aren’t feeling up for these, which i understand completely! i hope you will have a wonderful day or night nevertheless, and i pray you are or soon will be in a good mood and with happy thoughts! stay safe!!

Hi, there love! Thank you so much @viaervi​ for the request! You are always more than welcome to submit a request for anything, lol! <3 I hope you enjoy it! hehe, don’t forget I’m new to writing so it might be shit ^0^

So I match you with............... Masamune

The first interaction the two of you have, you realized Masamune has absolutely no boundaries. He just waltzes into your room while you were writing, looked down at your journal, smiled, and plucked it away from you. You tried to grab the book back because you had your whole life there, art, writing, doodles, and your photos. He was wearing that daring grin of his while holding the book above your head, ever so out of reach. He was definitely taking advantage of your average height, you jumped up and down trying to grab it to but to no avail. Eventually, Masa placed his elbow on your head to keep you from moving and started going through your book. He found a particularly lovely photograph that you had taken a while back. You dabbled in photography, and the photo he now held was one of the first pictures you ever took, so it held a significant amount of sentimental value. He was absolutely amazed at the beauty of it. “did you paint this lass”. “No, obviously not, it’s called a photograph”. You had to explain your whole backstory for the second time with the hopes that he wouldn't think you crazy like Nobunaga and Mitsunari did. Then you proceeded to explain the concept of photography best you could. He just gave you the brightest smile you had ever seen and said he believed you. He then welcomed you to the past, and before you could say another word, he left with the photo. You were shocked. Felt like you were just hit by a hurricane.

You were a pretty quiet person more so cause everything was so unfamiliar, but that seemed to have lasted all but 1-minute cause Masamune would just appear out of nowhere and start pestering you. He would poke your cheek continually until you would say something to him. He knew there was more to you than the quiet straightforward expression you wore. You felt that you could truly let your guard down with him, so you showed him your loud, playful side, which he loved btw. Both of you became instant besties for the resties. Flinging playful jokes and comments at each other. Physical contact wasn’t a problem for any of you, so you guys would playfully nudge each other and occasionally roughhouse a little. Especially if Masamune was being a bit cheeky.

Masa enjoyed the fact that you had so many different freaken hobbies. Every day with you was like an adventure on its own, and you were so knowledgeable about the most random things. One night you were chilling in the garden looking at a super moon when Masamune appeared out of nowhere with his hands covering your eyes “guess who?”. “Could it be a pirate? or captain hook?” He couldn’t help but smile at your strange references. He didn’t understand, just what it was about him that reminded you of a pirate. What a strange little kitten you were. He just chuckled and announced himself. The two of you laid on the grass, looking up at the clear night sky. You told Masamune all about astronomy, and then to his surprise, you told him about astrology. He was so amused by the sheer amount of knowledge you had about this vast universe. He was amazed at the concept of astrology and how it could give you a glimpse of a person’s basic characteristics, preferences, and flaws. You even managed to tell him his star signs and the personality traits that went with it. He was shook, darn that is so accurate. Since then, the two of you made it a kind of inside joke. Like how whenever Nobunaga was super extra and dramatic the two of you would look at each other with a knowing smile and say, “wow Nobunaga is being such a Leo right now” “Classic”, followed by a fit of laughter.

Not only that but Masa also loved hearing his kitten’s conspiracy theories! You had even made up a few about Mitsuhide and what he could be up to when he would sneak out during the day. One day the two of you also placed bet to see whose conspiracy theory of Mitsuhide’s whereabouts was more accurate. The bet was on! The two of you trailed him all afternoon, watching him to figure out what his deal was. Unfortunately, the two of you couldn’t prove any of your theories correct, cause the sneaky snek could sense the two of you following him from a mile away and just lead you around in circles all day. After a while, the two of you lost interest and decided to visit a new teahouse for some tea and dumplings instead.

To your surprise you discovered Masa could actually cook. He insisted on giving you a cooking lesson to repay you for all the random little things you had taught him. He decided the easiest thing to teach you would be, bread. So, both of you started by making a sourdough starter and leaving it to proof while you drank some tea. Then you continued to make the bread dough. When it came to kneading the bread, you were so lost in thought that, when you threw the flour down to flour the workbench, you threw a bit too much a little too hard, and it went *poof* all over your face and body. Masa turned to see how you were coming along when he saw you covered in flour. Cue masa howling in laughter while teasing you about looking like a ghost. Oh, he thinks this is funny does he, let’s see how funny it is when he is covered in flour. You grabbed a handful of flour and playfully flung it at him. Within a few minutes, the kitchen was covered top to toe in flour. Hideyoshi went to the kitchen to get a drink of water at just the wrong moment cause just as the last of the flour was being thrown, it landed straight in his face. The two of you looked at each other for a moment in silence and then bust out laughing once more and started teasing Hideyoshi. Both of you had no regrets when, after a long scolding, you had to clean the kitchen.

The two of you had been besties for quite some time, and Masa was starting to get serious about you. He spent no time confessing his feelings for you. The both of you were a very affectionate, physical couple. You would run up to him when he would come back from the war and give him the tightest hug. He would pick you up, kiss you all over your face, and twirl you around in circles.

Good thing you dabbled in medicine cause after that very war, you discovered that Masa had gotten hurt. You carefully cleaned and redressed his shoulder wound. You were a little mad cause he just shrugged of his injury like it was no big deal. You were also feeling extra sensitive cause on that day, you had crazy mood swings. Everything was so overwhelming that u suddenly just burst out into tears. He felt a sharp pain in his chest from seeing his beloved kitten cry. He held you tight in his arms, whispering reassuring words in your ears. He even threw in a few dark jokes about the war, just to bring that smile back on his face. Darn, your dark sense of humor. And darn Masamune for having hilarious jokes. You couldn’t help but laugh and cry at the same time. Gosh, you loved this big idiot, and his ability to put a big smile on your face even in the midst of one of your crying fits. This had become a kind of a tradition for whenever he would find you upset or mad.

You and Masa are two chilled peas in a pod. Just having fun, living in the moment, and not stressing about minor things you can’t control. And like I said before, you two are all over each other lol. Masa will have no shame in pulling you in for a quick make-out session right in the middle of the hallway. One-time, Ieyasu caught the two of you exchanging a quick kiss, and man, this boy, was as red as a tomato. You could have sworn he had never seen someone kiss before. Ieyasu dropped his books in shock and just turned around and walked away. Guess who teased the porcupine since that day! Your favorite is, after a long day to just come home and cuddle with Masa. He will just sit there with you in his arms and listen to you vent about everything and anything. The two of you can often be found snuggled up together under a fluffy blankie looking at the stars in the night sky.

Other potential matches……………Ieyasu

I hope you enjoyed! Also, it seems the more of these I write the longer they get ^o^

[wintersxsoul]

The Night We Danced

Summary: Two dorks in love that have to wait to get drunk to confess their feelings.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Maybe some language, drunk people and I think mentions of sex?? 

A/N: This is my entry for my dearest @writingsoftheloser 1k historical writing challenge! I got the Victorian Era, so I came up with this longass nonsense. I hope you enjoy and as always, feedback and reblogs are free and make me really happy and motivated <3

  Bucky Barnes was a dancer.

He sometimes had flashes of his old life in the late 30’s and 40’s, long summer nights dancing with beautiful dames, little Stevie by his side laughing and stepping in the ladies’ shoes. Everything was much more simpler, happier, but war happened and the dances turned into battles, the warm hands that he was used to hold became rifles and glocks. The jazzy tunes turned into gunfire, dates turned into risky missions and the thought of a long happy life turned into dust when he fell off that train.

Bucky Barnes stopped being a dancer to be a soldier, a spy, a deadly assassin.

They had taken all he was away, all his memories, his hopes and dreams. Everything was wiped but not his motor skills or knowledge. They turned him into the most efficient soldier, cold and calculating, his only motive in life was completing his missions. He had killed mercilessly, not questioning even once who was in front of the gun, he just knew he had to pull the trigger.

Everything changed the moment Steve Rogers, his best friend since childhood, found him 70 years after being used and tortured. Steve saved him from the claws of Hydra and gave him the opportunity to gain back his own self, to finally give his life meaning again.

His life changed drastically when he joined the Avengers, he could use his unrequired skills to help people, to save lives. He had his closest friends, Steve of course, Sam, Nat and then he met you. Once he was able to recover almost all his memories, he had a long heartfelt conversation with Natasha since she had suffered in similar ways. The brainwashing, the body killing training, the horrors of the Cold War and the cruelty of the Red Room.

You and Nat were inseparable, both becoming SHIELD agents the same year. You were a freelance hitwoman, both of your missions were to kill the same target. But before you could kill each other, SHIELD stepped in and rescued both of you, seeing your potential and the ability to do the missions other agents weren’t able to. When Bucky first came to the compound, you were away because your last mission went badly and it almost killed you, so Fury and Steve decided it was better for you to lay low for a while. Months went by and Bucky’s curiosity only grew, he really wanted to meet you, since everyone talked about you like you were an angel. When the time came to finally meet you, everything he ever heard about you was not nearly accurate to him. You were as much of a mystery as Nat, but unlike her, you opened up to him fastly, trusting him blindly. You both held each other on your worst nights and were also there for the other when you needed a good laugh.

You could have never imagined that the infamous Winter Soldier could be such an absolute dork with such a pure heart and soul. At first he was a bit sulky and moody, he was like a ghost around the compound, but months of therapy and help from his friends turned him into the man he was today, the man you loved deeply, even though you lied to yourself trying to make it seem like a platonic feeling. For years you remained as best friends, until the masquerade ball Tony organized for Natasha’s birthday.

“So, what are your plans for the party?” You asked Bucky nonchalantly while you looked for costume designers online. He looked up from his book and shrugged, he really didn’t know what you meant but he knew you would elaborate. You closed your laptop and placed it on your nightstand, all your attention on your friend now. You laid across the bed, resting your head on his lap. You were staring at the ceiling so you totally missed Bucky’s adoring gaze.

“Well, apart from getting hammered with Thor’s Asgardian alcohol, I don’t really know.” You rolled your eyes internally at his comment. You laid on your stomach so you could face him, your chin resting on your hands on top of his chest.

“Obviously you are doing that, but it’s not what I meant.” Bucky chuckled and you rolled your eyes. You weren’t sure about asking him to be your partner, maybe he was planning on going with someone else, maybe he wanted to go on his own. You cleared your throat while reaching out to fiddle with the laces of his hoodie nervously.

“Are you going with someone?” He frowned, realizing that you didn’t assume (like he did) that you were going together. Maybe you were planning to go with a date? He knew it had been more than a year since you had dated someone so maybe you wanted to use the party as an excuse to do so?

“What you mean with someone? I d-”

“You should ask Sarah from Forensics, I’ve heard she has a huge crush on you. She’s sooo soft and pretty. I have her number if you wa-”

“Okay, Y/n stop right there. I am not going with Sarah or with anyone else but you.” His eyes widened at his own boldness but he quickly found a logical explanation.

“I mean, we always go together to this kind of shitty parties we both dread. But if you are going with someone else is fine.”

“Yeah, yeah I just thought that maybe you wanted to go with an actual date and not your best friend.” He tousled your hair and you whined jokingly. He mumbled “dork” and you stuck your tongue out.

“My best friend is pretty cool and when she gets drunk the party starts, so I am not missing that for Sarah from Forensics.”

“Oh god James, and I am the dork? You absolute dumbass.” You shook your head in amusement and sat on the bed, putting your disheveled hair in a low ponytail. You slapped him lightly on the right shoulder and got down of the bed, gathering your stuff.

“I can’t stand to see that beautiful stupid face right now, I have to look for a fucking dress. You better wear something in dark red cause, you know it-”

“it’s my color” he mocked you using a high pitched tone of voice and laughed at the face of disgust you jokingly pulled off.

“Fuck you.”

“Why don’t you f-” His sentence was cut off by the bang of his door closing but you already knew what he said. You rolled your eyes and made your way to Nat’s room since you needed to organize shopping days and all that stuff.

-

Bucky Barnes was a dancer and fortunately he still had some moves, but waltzing was out of his league. He knew what a masquerade was of course, so the fact that he had to learn how to dance a completely different style was...frightening to say the least. He talked about it with Steve so they both were headed now to a masterclass while their dates were out shopping. Nat had asked Steve as her date because she wanted to go with his best friend. Their friendship was the most platonic you’ve ever seen and watching them flirt and banter was the highlight of your days. Nat was a fantastic dancer of course, she used to be a fucking ballerina, so she offered to teach you some moves. She was the only one who actually knew your feelings towards Bucky because you had confessed them one night you had drank your weight in vodka and when you saw Bucky’s text asking you to please be careful, you laughed and told her. You didn’t remember that conversation and when Natasha tried to ask you, she realized she shouldn’t bring up the topic until you were ready to believe it yourself.

“Ooof Nat, should I really buy this expensive dress?” You asked her while checking yourself out in the mirror. The dress was absolutely stunning, made of a dark red taffeta or a similar material, short sleeved and a beautiful v-neck, not very revealing but enough to make your babies pop. The bodice hugged your curves and the skirt was puffy.

“Listen, Stark is paying for everything, that includes our dresses. So yes, you are going to buy it.” She stood up and lead you back to the changing room so she could purchase both of your dresses.

Steve sighed heavily at Bucky’s complaints. They’d been dancing for four hours straight and they weren’t getting any better, or at least that’s what they thought. Bucky really couldn’t believe he had been dragged into this mess just because he loved getting drunk with you under any circumstances.

“Come on Buck, don’t worry. You two will probably be too drunk to even stand, why bother so much in learning this shit?” Bucky rolled his eyes and nudged his friend on the shoulder.

“Listen pal, I wanna do this right. You know how much I love dancing so this is just an excuse to learn something new.” He could almost believe his own lie, but Steve knew better. He knew Bucky better than himself, so he obviously knew the unspoken thing that was going on between two of his best friends.

“Okay buddy, whatever you say. I just hope Y/n appreciates all this instead of laughing at you like Sam and Nat are probably going to do.” He muttered something to himself and left the room without saying a word.

“Fucking idiots, I hope they fuck soon.” Steve said to himself before turning around and smiling at the dance teacher.

“Let’s do this Janet, I have a very dangerous woman to impress tonight.”

-

“I really, really, really, really regret the day I gave you access to come into my room whenever you want to.” You told Bucky, who was laying on your bed on his stomach, his face buried in the pillows. You slumped next to him and buried your face in the pillows as well. You really thought you looked like idiots but you couldn’t care less.

“Can we stay here? We can watch one of those victorian romantic movies you love and get wasted on our own.”

“You know I would love to, but Nat would kill us. Besides, you hate those movies.”

“I was just trying to persuade you Barnes, you don’t need to be so rude.” You stood up and opened your first drawer, pulling out the two masks you had bought throwing Bucky’s to his head and he responded with a fake “ouch”. He sat on the bed and looked at you amused, the small mask in his hands.

“And you have the nerve to call me rude. I already have my mask and I won’t show it to you until tonight.”

“Wow, sorry for thinking about you and your shitty memory, old man.”

“You know what Y/n? I’ll see you tonight before I throw myself out of that balcony.” You giggled at his fake tantrum. You really loved your friendship with Bucky, because even though you were always joking around each other, you had your backs. He was always there and so were you.

“You want me to walk you to your room?” He frowned at you but his eyes widened when he realized what you were about to say, but you said it before he could cut you off. “In case you don’t remember where your room is at.”

“That was one time Y/n, please let it go.”

“Never.” And with that said, he left. You giggled remembering the first night you two got drunk together. It was the first time Bucky had tried Thor’s alcohol so he was excited to finally get drunk after all those decades. He drank by himself almost three flasks and encouraged you to drink a bottle of vodka on your own, so at 6 am, you were stumbling through your room floor because Bucky had forgotten where his own room was, so he wanted to sleep at yours.

You took a last look at yourself in your mirror and placed the mask in its place. It was a shame that Bucky had decided not to wear the mask you’d bought for him, but his taste was pretty great so you knew it was going to be amazing.

When you reached the party the place was already full of people. Everyone was dancing to the slow melodies or drinking at the bar. You noticed that Tony had removed all the furniture from the room so it looked like a grand dance hall, the usual modern lamps he owned were replaced by huge golden crystal chandeliers, the windows were covered by thick curtains that looked like the ones European palaces had. The cream and golden tones of all the decoration gave a really regal look to the party, the soft glow of the candles in the bar and the sound of champagne glasses relaxed your senses.

You fixed your long silk gloves and sighed, moving through the crowd towards the bar, where Nat stood chatting with who you assumed it was Steve, Sam was behind the counter pouring alcohol to his half empty glass.

“You mind filling this lady’s glass?” Sam smirked and you winked at him. He raised his eyebrow under his cream and red mask and he took out a tall glass.

“What would the lady like to drink?” He rested both of his palms in the counter, looking at you with an amused look in his eyes.

“Vodka on the rocks, s'il vous plait.” You heard Nat choke on her drink and Steve turned to look at you while Sam just poured your drink, a smile playing on his lips.

“Aren’t we starting a bit early, Y/n? Your date is not even here.” You shrugged at Sam’s comment and took the glass when he handed it.

“Since you all seemed so surprised with my drinking choices, I’m going. I need an unjudging friend right now.” You waved your hand gracefully and moved towards the centre, trying to find Bucky. After five minutes and an empty glass, you saw his bulking figure talking to some woman. You needed a moment to gather your thoughts because he looked absolutely sinful with the outfit he was wearing. The black pants marked all his muscles, specially his thighs, those fucking thighs that drove you insane and his ass...you shook your head trying to stop your mind. You needed another drink.

“Wow look who’s back and empty handed!” Steve said to the small group. You nudged him in the ribs and asked Sam for another glass of alcohol.

“Why are you this flustered Y/n?” Nat asked you when she noticed your flushed cheeks. You fixed your mask trying to hide your nervousness and failing miserably.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” Your three friends shared a knowing look and you rolled your eyes, finishing your drink in two sips and encouraged by the burning liquid, you went to where Bucky was. You could now see his whole outfit perfectly and your heart swelled. He was wearing a black ruffled shirt with a black and dark red embroidered vest and a black tail coat. His face was covered by a simple half Venetian mask, decorated with the same colors as the outfit’s. He was chatting with some agent you couldn’t recognize and you felt a pang of jealousy at how he was looking at her, smiling and touching her. At that moment you realized the alcohol was kicking in and that’s why you were having those stupid thoughts. You approached your friend and placed your gloved hand to his shoulder, indicating him that you were besides him and waiting for him to pay attention to you. You catched a part of the conversation and they were talking about one of the last missions the undercover agents did, so after a court nod from Bucky and a brief goodbye from her, his eyes were on you.

“Well, look at you!” He smiled at you warmly and you felt something flip inside you. “How did you recognize me?”

“Oh boy, you can mask that face all you want but you can’t mask those thighs.” You smirked and he started laughing at your comment, making you feel proud of your wittiness.

“How drunk are you already?” You brought your hand up between your bodies and pressed your thumb and index together whispering “a little” so only he could hear it.

“Lucky for you, I drank almost a flask, so that makes us dangerous already. Wanna dance?” He extended his hand and you took it accepting his invitation. You suddenly felt really nervous since it was the first time you were going to slow dance with him but unbeknown to you, Bucky Barnes felt sick due to his nerves. He wanted this to work, he wanted to show you and the world that he was still capable of being a soft person, not this cold calculative soldier with a dark past.

The feeling of his hand on your waist and your other hands intertwined was intoxicating you, your bodies pressed together, the only thing between you two were your clothes. You spinned around the room for what felt like eternity, time for you had stopped and everyone had disappeared.

You burst the small bubble you were both in saying you needed a drink, Bucky stopped swaying you and with your hands still intertwined, went to the empty bar.

“I’ve always loved the Victorian Era, you know?” He said while giving you a glass full of vodka, and took a sip of his flask. “The clothes, the courting, the chivalry and all that fuss.” He smiled sadly at you thinking that you wouldn’t notice.

“If you could, would you go back in time and stay?”

He took another sip, now longer, and shook his head. “Of course not, you wouldn’t be there.” He blurted out without thinking and you just giggled at the comment.

“Oh Barnes, don’t be so dramatic. I’m sure you would make good friends there as well.” You gave him a sincere smile and he shook his head again, taking another sip of the flask, this time a long one. You looked down at your glass and twirled the straw, looking at how the ice cubes collided with each other.

“I love you.” You jerked your head up and maybe it was the alcohol clouding your mind or the denial of your own feelings, but you didn’t notice his intense gaze, filled with love and adoration.

“And I love you too, you idiot. As my best friend, you should know that already.” You placed your lips around the straw and finished the whole drink, Bucky still looking at you shocked that you rejected his feelings without you noticing.

“No, Y/n, what I mean is that I’m-”

“You are what, Barnes?” Nat cut Bucky off and you threw yourself into her arms, kissing her face and wishing her a happy birthday. “I missed you, Nat. Where were you?” You started talking to her totally ignoring your friend, who got that as his cue to leave the party. He would never blame you for not feeling the same or not even noticing his feelings, that was totally on him, but he didn’t feel well enough to stay in the party. He knew you wanted him there, to get drunk together and then both of you ending up throwing up in the sink and the toilet, but tonight he needed to breathe, he needed to get out of the crowd.

“Hey, where is going Bucky?” Asked Steve while he approached Nat and you. You frowned and looked at the entrance, catching a glimpse of Bucky’s broad shoulders and hair leaving the party. “I’ll be back in a sec.” You said and stumbled down the bar stool, heading towards the entrance half running.

“We both know they are not coming back, right?” Steve said to Nat, a strong nod and a sigh answered his comment.

You ran as fast as your drunken state let you but before you could notice you slipped with the dress and fell.

“FUCK” You screamed to the empty hall and took off your heels and gloves, standing up trying not to fall again on your ass. Bucky was nowhere to be seen so you headed to his room, your head spinning due to the alcohol.

“What are you doing here?” Bucky startled you, making you lose balance but he caught you before you could fall again.

“I was just checking that you got to your room safely, since you know, you get lost and all that.” You laughed at his fake hurt expression and straightened your clothes. You noticed that he had taken off his mask and that you were still wearing yours. “Why did you leave?”

“I’m feeling a bit sick, I think I drank too mu-”

“James, if you don’t tell me what the fuck is wrong I’ll torture you until you do. The drinking excuse is the worst you could’ve used with me.”

Bucky sighed defeated, he knew he had to get it off his chest, after three years carrying this on his own, he needed to let the words out, he needed you to know. He reached for the laces of your mask and took it off, placing a strand of hair behind your ear and cupping your cheek.

“I love you, Y/n.” You rolled your eyes in fake annoyance just to mess up with him.

“Baby, we already established that I lov-”

“Y/n, you are not listening. I am in love with you. I want to be your best friend, your lover, your partner in crime and your drunk buddy.”

You stared at him wide eyed, not knowing what to answer or to do. He caressed your cheek with his thumb and you gasped at the feeling, making Bucky think that you were rejecting the act. You stopped him from moving his hand and he leaned in, his lips brushing yours lightly.

“Either you kiss me or I faint, so make a m-” And just like that, his lips crashed against yours with a passion and hunger you’ve never felt in your entire life. He pressed you against the door, the stupid huge dress stopping you from feeling anything. Your brain finally woke up and you realized what was going on. Bucky Barnes loved you, he was in love with you. And you were in love with him. You pulled away and stopped him, making him step backwards scared that he did something you didn’t want to.

“You love me?” You really asked him, thinking that maybe your brain was betraying you. He nodded and looked away, not wanting to see the rejection in your eyes.

“Hey coward, look at me.” You held his chin and forced him to look at you. “I love you too, always have. I was just too damn scared to admit it to even myself.” He smiled and kissed you again, this time slower, pouring every ounce of love he had for you in the kiss.

“What now?” He asked you once he pulled away to breathe. He had his hand on the back of your neck, caressing your skin with his thumb.

“As much as I’d love you to fuck me against every surface on that room, I am drunk and tired and I need to process everything.” He nodded and waited for you to come up with what you wanted to do next. “So you are going to take this dress off me carefully cause I can’t do it on my own and it’s expensive as fuck, you are going to give me one for your shirts and we are sleeping, together.” He nodded again and smiled, leaning in again to give your lips a small peck.

“Consider it done, asshole.”

[diaboliimperii]

Misunderstanding: Scorpius Malfoy

A/N: Hello my loves! I love it when you guys ask me to request and this one is a good example of this. Anyways, I love writing for Scorpius, he’s such a complex character I am truly in love with him. I did alter the request more to fit into Scorpius character if that’s okay. Enjoy!

Warnings!: none except for hate??? 

Pairings: ALBUS X READER (platonic) JAMES POTTER II X READER (platonic) SCORPIUS MALFOY X READER (hatred to romantic {a little})

REQUEST: ANON asked: More Draco Flirting please. And a Scorpius x (Gryffindor) reader where they dislike each other because she's Georges daughter. but scorpius keeps trying to be nice to her and she eventually dates him.

REQUEST HERE       MASTERLIST HERE 

The sound of the food and the utensils being placed from their mouths to the plate and onward seemed more interesting than the conversation that he was holding with Albus. He kept on looking at the Weasley at the table next to James, Al’s older brother. Scorpius cuts his friend off and begins his own conversation with his own bold statement. “I think James and Y/N are having an affair.” He blurts out playing with his food. “Wait for what?” Asked Albus being distracted by the very confusing statement that Scorpius just blurted out. Scorpius is smart, and he knows something that Albus didn’t know.

“I don’t understand-” Albus said once more causing Scorpius to look at him with a gentle stare. “They’re dating.” He says in simpler words to make sure Albus knows what he’s talking about. “Who?” The brunette asked. “Y/N and James.” He said strictly. Both of them make their eyes move to the Gryffindor table where 7th year James Potter and 5th year Y/N Weasley talked and presumably flirted. “They’re not.” Albus retorted trying to eye the situation in a brighter light. “What’s up with you and her anyways I thought you didn’t like her.” Scorpius just laughs silently to himself. “I don’t know why she’s so tangent with him.” He’s still looking at them.

He’s observing how James smiles at her and she smiles back but with a brighter smile that outshines his smile completely. Ever since they have entered Hogwarts together there was a rivalry between that they both mutually established.

Unfortunately, it grew bigger when Y/N made it as a prefect for the Gryffindor house gaining them more power than most of the students with them. From the other side of the perspective, Y/N and James were having a good conversation. Until James brought up the fact that his little brother and his friend were staring deeply at them. “Don’t look but Scorpius and Albus are looking at us” Like she was told she looked straight at them. James hand suddenly made it side of their face pulling them back to his side of his vision. As he began to become red she laughed and playfully pushed his hand away.

“I told you to not look.” He told her as she looked at him with innocent eyes. “I know, I just wanted to take a peek, okay!” They both smiled at each other’s comment, and they pulled their hair back. He laughs at them as they look at their food once more. “I wonder if they were talking about us-” they said in unison. Y/N’s eyes grew bigger as James adjusted his posture to gain back composure. James and Y/N didn’t realize but their laughs were dying down, and looking towards James watch read that they had about 5 minutes until lunch ended which meant that he would walk her to potions. As they both stood up he leads the way as they followed before him.

Scorpius and Albus walked to potions together talking, “what’s up with you today” he asked Scorpius who just looks at him and shudders his shoulders. “I actually don’t know. Y/N’s just been on my mind lately.” Albus was wondering why but he didn’t worry about it since he has been this apprehensive around Y/N since they were first years. As they sat down they started to bring their exam. The exam to make the drink of despair. He began to make the concoction as Y/N began to freely make the potion without hesitation.

It had taken her about 10 minutes faster than the usual, and before adding the last ingredient she called for the professor to come towards her side of the table. “Proceed,” they say as Y/N placed the last ingredient and the potion turned a pitch oily black. A smile arose on their face as the professor congratulated them with a smile, and silently walked away.

Scorpius was almost done with his own and called for the professor. He had taken about 15 minutes to finish, and as the professor came forth he had placed it making the same potion as Y/N, but in a longer interval. He blew his hair out of his way with his mouth blowing air. He began to look at Y/N once more. He began to think about her more frequently, and it was because of her presence with Potter that began to tick him. He didn’t understand what was going through his head but he knew it wasn’t good. He made his head think that this was a rivalry, and not something else.

He couldn’t like her, they both had established that even though they were both friends with Albus they tried to get away from each other. They didn’t know why, but it had been that way since 1st year and they didn’t try to change anything. Realistically he had tried to ask Albus but he said that Y/N was more interested in stuff than to worry who liked her or not. It wasn’t that he made himself seem off-putting it was the fact that he was an alpha as so were they. It was a moment that was established.

He was thinking about how to bring it up to Albus again, he didn’t want to be annoying but he wanted to know more.

He craved more knowledge on something he has been so anti about. It was this year that he started to want more, Scorpius was confident in himself, but this topic made him nervous. Something about them was unsettling him and it was being he was insecure around them. Or maybe it was the fact that they were hanging out with James Potter more than Albus. Scorpius made himself think that he was protecting Albus, but he knew in the back of his head he didn’t understand why they would like and or associate themselves with someone like him. The golden boy, he scoffed. Albus is better than he is, and they should know that.

He thinks to himself that he is doing this because they met Albus first, and that means Y/N should put him first and hang out with him. Not that he cares about them in the first place he just feels that they should be putting Albus first.

As Scorpius is thinking, Albus failed the potion twice and was now beginning to feel the pressure from his peers, he knew that he could do it. Y/N was looking at him fail shaking their head whenever he made the same mistake from the last time and altering something that didn’t need to be altered. Y/N was determined to help him, so they grabbed their wands and started to use some of their magic. Y/N was skilled in nonverbal magic but no one really knew about it since they have doubted her since she is the daughter of George, and he wasn’t really known to be a powerful wizard.

She concentrated really hard to make the objects move. Albus started to see that the containers were moving by themselves he looked around to see who it was and saw that it was Y/N. He sighed in relief as he let her do her thing. Then they stopped and he got concerned that she caught and looked back only slightly to get drawn back by the pen moving onto the paper. With instructions. He smiled as he did them exactly how it said to be. He was thanking the heavens above for a friend like her. What they didn’t know was that there was someone looking. It another classmate named Riley, she had always hated Y/N for her looks and her smarts. Riley knew this was an opportunity to strip her of her title of prefect and ruin the clean and sharp imagine Y/N has made for herself. She smiled as she also stealthily took out her hand and started to interfere with her magic. Although she didn’t know very well nonverbal magic she whispered spells to contradict what she was doing with Albus. He was getting close to add the last ingredient until Riley made the vile move closer to him indication to use it. Y/N noticed from the start that she was trying to counterbalance her magic. Then she stopped all completely, Albus should know the rest of the potion since there was only one step left to finish it off. Y/N turned around in her seat and sat down with a smirk. Y/N knew that the professor heard Riley whispering spells towards Y/N who just looked like she was observing her wand. Albus raised his hand with pride as he indicated that he was done with potion all together.

The professor came to Albus and smiled at him, and told him “Good job.” Once he did that Albus looks at Scorpius who was thinking still about the problems that were going through his head. As everyone started to pack up the materials and throw them away if necessary, Y/N walked to Albus who was packing up. She did it once she was done with her, as she had only to put up some because once she was done she had done most of them. Placing a hand on the table, Albus looks up from the materials and towards her. “Merlin, thank you so much for the help I thought I would never finish that potion” Y/N chuckled as she saw Scorpius waiting at the other table for them to stop talking. “No problem, that’s what friends are for anyway right?” Y/N and Albus didn’t realize that Riley and the professor were talking. “I will have to talk to your parents about the behavior you’re displaying at this school.” He told her as she just listened and thought of ideas she could get back at Y/N. One idea popped maliciously into her head.

Once she was done talking, she turned around and towards the door seeing as Y/N and Albus were still having a conversation. With the flick of her wrist and a few spells, she had made the potion of despair spill all over Y/N. Albus turned his eyes towards the spillage, and as Y/N immediately went to the floor with tears flooding her eyes. She was in extreme pain as all of the potion had made itself all over her torso and her legs. She tried to rub them, but it didn’t work. The pain made her pass out from the extremeness she was going through. Albus went to the floor with her and called for help which made Scorpius aware that she was on the flood lying down from the potion.

The professor came to their aid, and they took her to the nurse.

-

Y/N had woken up. With a bolt to her movement, her head began to hurt causing her to lay down and try to relieve the pain. “Geez,” she had said before looking to her side and seeing a worried Albus right there with them. He looked up from his stare at the floor and smiled since they have taken up. Y/N looked at his dark brown hair. And looked at the windows to see it was almost sundown and that she had missed Quidditch practice. “I’m glad you’re awake I thought I had killed you back there.” There was a laugh between them. “You didn’t and aren’t you glad?” She said to try to remove the tension from them both. He stood up and hugged the figure on the bed. “Thank you,” she said as she also wrapped her hands around them. “Do you know who spilled the potion?” She asked because she knew that Albus didn’t.

“I don’t know” He admitted, and she looked at him again. She was trying to think, and the only person that came to her head was Scorpius who was watching Albus and them talk. The doors of the nursery come open and come through Scorpius Malfoy with his face in a neutral position. A smile on his face when he saw Albus. “Hey,” He said to Y/N as he sat down with a chair next to Albus. “I just want to say that I didn’t do it. It was Riley, she was mad at you.” He looked down instead of looking at her. As she looked at him she knew in the back of her head that he was telling the truth.

“I know you might not want to talk to me but I know that you hate me…” He said trailing off in the end. Her face scrunched up and questioned. “I don’t hate you, I thought that you didn’t like me.” She said back that confused Albus and Scorpius together. “I thought you didn’t like me because you kept your distance away from me.” She said as he looked up at her “I kept my distance because you kept it from me!” He claimed as Albus laughed.

“Oh Merlin, you have hated each other for years because of a misunderstanding. Imagine a world between you guys!” He said making them look at him. He smirked. “I’m sorry about all of this.” She said to him as they were locking eyes together. “I am too this is so dumb I’m glad we made up.” Albus hugs them both and makes them get close.

“Finally, my best friends are together!” He said to the air. “Together?” He asked, “I thought Y/N was dating James?” He asked the question that was begging to be answered. “Me? And James? What an odd accusation, James is my friend!” She defended herself. “I don’t like him like that,” She continued as a piece of Malfoy came back together. The conspicuous that they might be dating was relieved, and he couldn’t be anymore happier. He wouldn’t admit it but he finally registered that some of that may be some jealousy towards James, and now that he knows the truth a large amount of weight was now released.

Along with some of the hatred, that he had was miscalculated into something that he didn’t want to admit was liking someone. Now he finally understood that some of that were because he started to think that she was prettier than the rest of them, that she was smarter. That she was more significant than the rest. He finally can rest knowing that some of the reason he was thinking about her was that he liked her. Right now, wouldn’t be the time to say, but Scorpius swore he would find a time to tell her. For right now he laughed.

Scorpius and Y/N finally laugh in harmony.

A harmony that waited to happen, and eventually when it did was a beautiful one.

[musicprincess655]

Hey Itsuki,

You didn’t respond last time, and I kind of hope it’s just because I didn’t take it that seriously and not because you’ve already blocked me. So I’m trying again, and this time, I’ll do it properly.

I’m sorry. I should’ve said that to you a long time ago. I’m sorry I hid things from you for so long. I wish I could say I don’t know why I did it, but I do. I was scared I was going to lose you. Kind of stupid, right? I lost you anyway.

So, yeah. I’m sorry. I fucked up, and you deserved much better.

Mei

Mei stared at his email in disappointment. He’d sent his message days ago, and there was no response. No indication that Itsuki had read it at all.

So he really had been blocked, then.

Still, Mei had expected this from the start. He’d hoped for better, but this was exactly what he’d thought would happen. It didn’t mean he had to change his plans. He still had things to say to Itsuki, after all, even if Itsuki would never see them.

He opened a new message.

Dear Itsuki,

I guess this is it, huh? You’re not listening. I didn’t really think you would. So I’m just going to say whatever I want. I’d say tell me to stop if you don’t like it, but you won’t, will you?

You never did, now that I think about it. You pushed me back on the field, but I don’t remember you ever telling me no when we were together. Is that just because you were okay with everything? Did you feel like you couldn’t? If that’s true, I guess that’s something else I have to apologize for. I know I have a lot of things to apologize for. Give me time. I’ll get to them. I still have my own pride, though.

You’ve never been to America, have you? You hadn’t when I knew you last, but maybe you went after I left. I’m almost sure you’ve never been to Pittsburgh, though. How do I describe Pittsburgh to you? It rains all the time, for one. Like, seriously, all the time. I don’t know how the rivers don’t flood the city from all the rain (spoiler alert: sometimes they do). It’s louder here than it is in Japan, but I think that’s true of just about any American city. The accent isn’t quite what I expected. I guess the accent here isn’t in movies a lot. They call it the “yinzer” accent. Apparently you can say “yinz” to mean a group of people. I’m determined not to pick that one up.

Americans are friendly. I was warned about that coming in. Some people suck because they hear my accent or see my face and that means I’m not one of them, but most people are really nice. I think I fit in here. I can be as childish as I want in public and no one tells me to stop. People just ignore it and keep going. I’m definitely not the weirdest thing they’ve seen today. So take that! I never did have to grow up.

Write back soon :p

Mei

Mei didn’t have long to dwell on the emails, though. It was time to go back to practice.

He walked onto the field to catcalls of traitor! and betrayal! and felt a grin stretch across his face. Being back on his home field felt a little like holding court, and the insults and jeers were friendly, welcoming. It had taken Mei a while to get used to the idea that Americans loved insulting their friends, and to learn to distinguish when it was friendly and when it was serious.

With all the grins coming at him, with the arm around his shoulders and the hands slapping his back, this couldn’t be anything but friendly.

“You son of a bitch, you stole the medal from us!” Stallings complained with his arm around Mei’s shoulders. “Don’t you have any sense of loyalty?”

“Obviously I just wanted to throw you specifically under the bus,” Mei shot back. Stallings laughed, moving Mei’s whole body with the force of it.

“You’re so hard on your catchers. I hope you gave those Japanese players a hard time,” he said. “They might have won the medal, but they had to put up with your bitch ass for months.”

“I am a delight,” Mei said.

“Come on, be nicer to Narumiya,” Vázquez cut in. “It’s no fun being main pitcher if I didn’t beat him fair and square for it.”

“Speaking of which, I’ll be taking that mound back now, please,” Mei said.

“Careful, you’ll let that gold medal go to your head,” Vázquez warned with a fond smile.

“It’s gone to my head the right amount.”

“Alright, alright.” The pitching coach had come over to break them up. “Everyone quit harassing Narumiya. We still have practice.”

Mei ran himself ragged trying to catch back up to everyone else. He’d been playing at a high level in Japan, but it wasn’t the same as being on this team, and the season was in full swing. No one was waiting for him, and he wouldn’t make them.

He was so exhausted when he got home that he didn’t even check for a reply he knew wouldn’t be there.

Dear Itsuki,

For the record, this feels a lot like a diary. I’m writing to someone who never reads the letters. Maybe I should just invest in a journal and save us both the storage in our inboxes. But I don’t think I’m going to do that.

I’m really trying to enjoy the last of the sun here. Summers aren’t all that different. It’s not until the autumn that the rain starts and then it doesn’t stop until summer comes back. Well, it stops for the snow, but that doesn’t count.

Did you ever learn how to drive? I did. You really can’t live in America without driving. Public transit sucks, and most places are hard to walk to. A lot of neighborhoods don’t even have sidewalks.

I can’t imagine you like driving all that much, if you ever did learn. You were never that good at sitting still. I remember you on the bus to games, all keyed up and restless, and I remember the only way you made it through the ride home was because you were asleep. I love driving, though. I love being able to get in a car and go anywhere, no strings attached. Sometimes just the knowledge that I have the power to get up and go is what makes me stay. Like I have an emergency brake or something.

Sometimes I do just get in the car and start going, though. I’ve found some cool stuff that way. America is a big place, and no one person can ever see all of it, but the only way to try is by driving. I wish I could show you sometime.

Mei

They got knocked out of post season play early. It wasn’t all that surprising. They built their team on the backs of Mei and a few other young players. Remove one, and the entire team shakes. At least they made it to bracket play at all, or so they told themselves.

The entire team crammed into a bar to drink more than is reasonable, and Mei couldn’t help feeling a weird kind of parallel. He’d drunk himself silly after winning a gold medal at the Olympics, but here he was after a loss, nursing a beer. He was disappointed by the loss, but he was already planning for next year, for how they could come back. This was fixable.

A woman came up to flirt with him, and Mei just couldn’t feel any interest in taking her home. Now that he knew exactly what kind of wound he’d been patching with the band aid of one night stands, he couldn’t go back to using them to get out of this. It just didn’t seem worth the effort.

He still left the bar more drunk than he’d been in weeks, and instead of drunk calling his ex, he drunk emailed an ex that wouldn’t be listening anyway.

Dear Itsuki,

Since you’re not listening anyway, I’m allowed to say this: I still care about you. A lot. And maybe that’s not fair, because I’m the one that ruined everything, but it’s still the truth. I have to love a memory, though, because I don’t actually know who you are anymore. That might be my biggest regret. I don’t get to know the adult you grew into. I just have to love the teenager you used to be. Maybe you’re a really cool adult. Maybe you suck. I don’t get to know, though, and I have no one to blame but myself.

We lost in the playoffs. I bet you can see that without me telling you. Maybe you don’t follow American baseball at all, though. So. We lost.

Mei

Mei sighed as his phone gave him another low storage warning. He knew he should delete some of his sent emails, but instead, he’d been making sure none of them got deleted. It had been months without a word from Itsuki, and it was stupid to hold onto them, but they weren’t just for Itsuki. They were for him too, and he wanted them.

Knowing that Itsuki wasn’t reading them had been a freeing experience, in a way. Mei didn’t have to perform for anyone, and he wasn’t. Slowly, he’d let his walls of pride come down until he was spilling his guts into an email server, and it helped. A little. He was more honest with himself now, and even if it didn’t hurt less, maybe it would over time. Maybe this was a necessary pain.

Dear Itsuki,

I think what I miss most is your friendship. I miss sitting around doing homework together. I miss playing that idol game you used to like so much. I miss being on the same team as you, and being in a battery with you. I miss all the stuff we had before I was ever interested in kissing you.

Is that stupid? I’m all heartbroken over you, and what I want back the most isn’t a relationship. Although, to be fair, apparently everyone’s into recognizing platonic friendships are as important as romantic relationships now, so maybe it’s not all that stupid.

You were one of my best friends. Maybe my best friend. Even if I never get your love back, I wish I could have that back. It meant the most to me. You were important to me. I never told you that outright, and I wish I had. Even if you’d never wanted to kiss me or anything else, you still would’ve been important to me. I regret breaking that the most.

I miss you.

Mei

That was the hardest thing to admit, because he had to admit it to himself. He missed Itsuki. He missed him like a limb. He missed the effortless battery they’d had, the way Itsuki couldn’t keep his hands still on the bus, the way he’d argue with a senpai even while he respected authority to a ridiculous degree. Mei had loved him, and maybe still did, but the most important part of Itsuki, to Mei, had always been their friendship.

Mei strategically deleted other emails in his inbox to make room for his archive. He wasn’t giving up all these letters to Itsuki, not now, and maybe not ever. Maybe someday this wound he’d torn back open would be healed for real, and then he could delete these and finally let Itsuki go. But for now, he was still trying to stitch himself back together, and he was trying to do it the right way this time. All he could do was hope that it would be worth it, in the end, that knowing and healing would be better than the willful ignorance he’d forced himself into for eight years.

Time was supposed to heal all wounds. Mei hoped it would heal this one.

[otomeshistarlight-blog]

All for Endeavor & Dabi u v u

Thanks for always bringing me the good shit, Bukii. Since I tend to ramble, this will be broken up into two parts so expect Dabi’s post to come shortly after this one! That’s right, we’re starting with flame daddy! (Warning: one nsfw picture in this post)

1. Sleep: Enji is a big man with a big personality and, as such, he sleeps all sprawled out regardless of whether he has a bed partner or not. He takes up a lot of space and makes no apologies for it. Thats just who he is, so if you’re going to join him for a good nights rest, you’d better be prepared to get jostled around a little bit and maybe even squished when he rolls over on top of you. There won’t be much wiggle room to work with but that shouldn’t be too big of a problem considering what a good bodypillow he’d make. Even though he’s a solid 260 pounds of muscle mass, he still looks meaty enough to have some give and I think having his body curled around yours would be incredibly comforting. The only drawback is that I think his temperature is naturally higher than the average so it would be very easy to get overheated like this. Summer in particular would be excruciatingly hot and I imagine you’d find yourself sleeping naked more often than not, but he certainly wouldn’t have any complaints about that. He does snore but, for better or worse, he’s a very sound sleeper so if you can block out the noise, you won’t have to worry about him tossing and turning constantly. The best strategy would probably be to wait for him to zonk out and then drape yourself over him, using his chest or stomach as a pillow, so that you’re free to adjust your position when you start to get too warm.  

2. Sad: Enji is not someone whose very open with his emotions and I think this one in particular would be among his most guarded. Not only is he reluctant to show any signs of weakness but he also wouldn’t be too keen on letting people into his mind like that, out of self perseverance more than anything else. He’d have to be extremely comfortable with you and trust you implicitly to ever open about something that made him sad but it would be a pivotal moment in any relationship, whether romantic or platonic. I think that, if anything, it would be his insecurities as a hero and as a man that would surface in this regard, i.e, “why am I not good enough?”. He has worked very hard to become the best, perhaps even to point of madness, but yet he still wasn’t able to surpass All Might on equal terms and that clearly upsets him quite a bit. If he did open up to you about these kinds of things, it would be a huge mistake on your part to offer him sympathy. He doesn’t want that, especially not in regards to an already touchy subject. With him its more about listening and understanding where he’s coming from while he sorts through these emotions that are usually kept bottled up and it can become quite tumultuous indeed. 

3. Happy: Enji, in the true spirit of a Leo, is happiest when he’s in the spotlight. Not only is he naturally drawn to being the center of attention but he also works extremely hard to earn his spot there, which has perhaps given him a slightly inflated sense of entitlement about how he deserves to be there more than others. Rather than just stroking his ego, I think this drive to be the best would have followed him into any career, whether that be something as mundane as dentistry or even another hero-like profession such as a firefighter. Although this might be a slightly self indulgent opinion, I think he’s fine standing at the top alone but I do believe that what would make him the happiest is finding someone to share the stage with as equals, or something close to it. He’s not opposed to a challenge by any means and I think being able to put on an extravagant show of his prowess would delight him to no end. Being able to prove that he’s truly the best makes him feel accomplished which is why his inability to surpass All Might, no matter how much work he put in, affected him so negatively.

4. Angry/Violent: Enji comes off as a rather aggressive person but I think thats mostly just his personality (gruff, blunt and to the point) and we’ve really only gotten a very brief glimpse of what true anger from him looks like. He also seems like someone who would be easy to set off and, while that might be true in regards to certain topics, I actually believe he’s a fairly levelheaded person in that he’s not going to go critical if someone accidentally steps on his boot in a crowded room. What seems to get him going the most is a sense of inadequacy in which his personal shortcomings weigh heavy on his shoulders and thats understandable when you’ve put in as much effort as he has. However once he finally reaches that snapping point, it is anything but a pretty sight. In addition to lashing out physically and putting holes in the walls or destroying his own belongings, I see him being a screamer. Its hard for me to say, in the case of an interpersonal fight, if he would yell insults at the other person or if he’d just bellow in rage but it would be an intense situation either way. Like I said though, if you were close enough that he trusted you, I think this situation could possibly be diffused but if you’re already on bad terms with the guy, then I’d suggest you get out of dodge. Quickly. 

5. Sex: Enji is a domineering man in every sense of the word and given that he treats the whole world as his personal stage, I see no reason why the bedroom would be any different. Truly, he is the king of his kingdom and he expects to be in charge from the get go to the end. You could try to dethrone him, of course, and maybe he’d even let you think you were getting the upper hand for a little while, but rest assured that he will inevitably flip the tables on you at some point and remind you exactly who the boss is. Rather than being inclined to go gentle or hard, he seems to me like the type who simply does everything from the perspective of ownership. If he decides that he’s going to fuck you slow and steady, then he is going to make sure that you’re writhing against him and begging for release before the night is through. Maybe even multiple times throughout the night. But if he decides he’s going to break you in half then, well … hopefully you don’t have to be anywhere in the morning. Its really dependent on his mood, what kind of experience he’s up for and just how loud he wants to hear you scream this time. While he would definitely still find pleasure in watching you lose yourself on his cock, his priority will always be his own needs above anyone else’s and he is certainly a bit of a selfish lover. But by no means does that imply you wont walk away from this completely and utterly satisfied. He does strive to be the best after all, which means that his performance is by no means lacking. 

6. Living Quarters: Enji likes things to be clean, tidy and a little bit extravagant. He’s clearly got expensive tastes if his office was anything to go by, so I can only imagine what the inside of his house looks like. Expensive furniture from the best of the best interior designers, one of a kind paintings on the walls and occasionally questionable sculptures in the garden, hand towels no one is allowed to use, top of the line technology in almost every room and a personal gym outfitted with the very best equipment money can buy. However, based on what little we’ve seen of the Todoroki estate, he seems to be a fan of traditionally Japanese things so all of thpse luxuries he enjoys so much have got to be blended in almost seamlessly with the minimalist aesthetic of his mansion style home. My mind is painting a very modern take on the classic, and I think its gotta’ be just beautiful to see in person.

7. Romantic: Enji isn’t much of a romanticist in the typical sense, but I do believe that if you’ve managed to catch his interest then he will make sure you know it. Showing someone that he truly cares for them seems to be one of the things he struggles with the most and he’d probably goof up every once in a while as a result, so you’ll have to be prepared to travel this bumpy road together. Since he does appear to enjoy throwing his money around, I’d imagine he’d treat you to the best five star restaurants in town (maybe even a few on the other side of the country), take you out shopping and on trips to the most highly rated onsen, and even gift you expensive presents. In particular, I think he’d be quite fond of sending you delightfully sinful lingerie sets in the mail and then take you out that same evening with the full knowledge you were wearing them for him. But again, what everything boils down to is his own enjoyment in this relationship and he isn’t likely to do much just for the sake of it. As such, there might be times where you wonder if he actually does care about you or not, and you might even start to feel like a bought woman. This is where his inability to be open about his emotions becomes a bit of an issue but if you can work through that, then I don’t see any reason why this should be a deal breaker. 

8. Family & Friends: Enji is, again, not the best about being transparent when it comes to this kind of stuff. I think he does care about his family on a certain level, as it is his and he likely recognizes its importance, but he doesn’t seem to know how to show that. Not to mention the fact that he undoubtedly let his heated rivalry with All Might cloud his judgement and he made mistakes that hurt those closest to him. Recent developments seem to imply that he’s realized the error of his ways and now we just need to see how he goes about trying to amend it. But my point is that by no means do I think he’s some kind of monster who got off on mistreating his family. He seems to have a very solid foundation for right and wrong, and I’m sure that if he came upon someone abusing their family he would put a stop to it immediately, but when you become obsessed with a singular goal like he did, its so easy to lose sight of your personal morality. I’m not justifying his actions or saying that he was in the clear to act however he wanted, I just think he’s not quite the heartless demon a lot of people paint him to be and that he does, indeed, love his family in his own little way.

9. Hobbies: Enji strikes me as the sort to be into more traditional hobbies like sumo, shogi or go, and all manner of martial arts. I could also see him enjoying a nice day at the horse tracks. Unfortunately he doesn’t get a lot of down time to enjoy many hobbies so I think whatever he does enjoy occupying his time with has to be relatively simple and easy to access. 

10. Likes/Dislikes: Enji likes being the center of attention, being praised and or put on a pedestal, simple elegance and extravagant displays of wealth, calm moments when he can let his guard down and the finer things in life. He dislikes outright disrespect, being bested in any way, shape or form, being treated like an inferior and wasting his time.

11. Childhood: Enji, in my opinion, probably had a childhood similar to the one he raised Shoto in. Again, this is no excuse, but I think for him to believe that training your five year old son to the point of being physically ill was fine and dandy, he must have experienced a similar upbringing. That is to say, I would not be at all surprised if his father was extremely tough and demanding of him, pushing him well to the breaking point, and just generally expecting more out of him than he could give. This might not be what some of you want to hear, but unfortunately this is often how things go in the more traditionally aligned Japanese families - especially the wealthy ones. There is a certain amount of expectations placed on the men of the household to be better than the last generation and this often culminates in the form of not allowing them much of a childhood at all. I think Enji probably grew up swearing that he would be better than that but at some point his perception of reality was so clouded by his desire to surpass All Might that he just sort of fell into that mindset. Maybe without even realizing it. I subscribe to this idea because it also explains why his personality is so rough and generally off putting to most people. He was likely raised in a harsh environment so he became harsh as a result. 

12: Old Age: Enji probably has no desire to retire at any point as he’s poured every ounce of himself into his career and I wouldn’t be surprised if he expects to die in the line of duty at some point. Whether that be from not knowing what else to do with his life or from a sense of wanting to go down in history as a hero who gave the ultimate sacrifice, its hard to say. Either way, he doesn’t strike me as the sort whose mapping out his 401k and looking at cozy cottages in the mountains. However, if he were forced into retirement through one means or another, then that would be an entirely different story. But thats also nothing but conjecture on my part so we’ll have to wait and see what happens in canon. I do think it would be nice if he found the peace of mind to hand off the torch to someone who wants to take up his mantle so he can relax and make up for lost time with his family. If his redemption arc can actually feature, y’know. An actual redemption, I would prefer to see that over him dying in what would simply amount to a revenge killing to mollify the part of the fandom that hates him with a burning passion. Allowing him to grow old and watch his children flourish in ways that he didn’t sounds like the best possible outcome to me.

13: Cooking: Enji does not cook. He has neither the time nor the interest. But thats not to say he doesn’t enjoy a good meal and, in fact, he’s more than willing to shell out exorbitant amounts of money to indulge on fine dining. I see him being a very big fan of expensive steakhouses and he’d likely be quite knowledgeable when it comes to wine. That being said, it takes a lot of food to maintain that brickhouse physique of his so I imagine the kitchen at home is fully stocked with all the best ingredients and any housekeepers he staffs are likely kept quite busy between him and his two children that are still living at home. 

14: Random: Enji’s favorite positions are the Torch (ironically enough) because it just makes you feel so damn tight around him and the fact its a perfect position to relentlessly slam your g-spot is just mere coincidence. Mhm. He knows what he’s doing.

The Prison Guard because, well, I shouldn’t have to explain this one.

And my personal favorite, the Full Nelson (sorry, I couldn’t find this one on the other site)

If you asked him where he stood on kinky sex, Enji would scoff and tell you that it was none of your business but once you get him in the bedroom, it will quickly become apparent that this man is just as much of a dom as you’d expect him to be. He’s down for M/s, petplay, bondage, just about any kind of humiliation you can think of and, if you ask nicely enough, he’d even incorporate some daddy dom aspects just for you. Keep in mind that everything truly revolves around him, especially when its just the two of you, so he expects to have your full attention and what better way to accomplish that than literally dominating you into submission? Sounds like a good time to me.

[hereliesbitches--me]

Rules

Hello There! Well if you’re here, that means you’re probably interested in me and me cat girl here, and for that I thank you!

While I’m not too big on specific rules, I suppose it’s best to have some little stuff that may clear up some questions in the future.

 First off, Both Mun and Muse are of age. 18+ ,

Mature themes will be present on here, and some aspects of Rosie, her life, and her habits may be triggering. Such as mentions of physical and emotional abuse, manipulation, rape, suicidal thoughts and tendencies,  etc. I try not to get too detailed but if you’re squeamish about it, follow at your own risk.

I do my best to tag triggers with things such as

tw: (insert trigger), but im not perfect. If ya see something that bothers you, let me know so I know what to tag for future reference. I won’t bite your head off for anything, i’m pretty understanding as long as you approach politely. I myself have no triggers, but please tag nsfw stuff.

The basic roleplay etiquette applies here just as much as anywhere else. Most people already know- no godmodding, metagaming,  etc. It’s no fun like that, and we’re all here to have fun, right?

Im open to just about anyone, mutuals and non-mutuals. Canon or OC muses. Even if we don’t follow each other, im happy to roleplay anything if you have an idea. 

Please, feel free to shoot me a message in the inbox even just to say hello when you follow, if you’d like. If you want to interact, and you send me a message like “Wanna RP?” please have something to suggest. Even something completely vague can lead to more, because I myself can suck in coming up with something on the spot. I’ll likely ask you personal questions about your muse, like what draws you to them and such even if you have a bio page and all that, I just like to hear different thoughts. A well rounded character is great, and if it’s in development I don’t mind exploring subjects and aspects.

I would definitely appreciate basic literary knowledge.

I’m fine with small mistakes here and there, but I have to at least be able to make sense of it.  If English is not your first language, I ain’t gonna bash ya for it. I’ll make do- though unfortunately, I’m a loser that knows only English. That’s all I can write in. I am on mobile most of the time, so sometimes formatted responses may take me some time to look into because it doesn’t translate well into mobile. Won’t keep me from following if I like your writing, but I am a simple gal ^^

. When it comes to following, I may not always follow back. But that doesn’t always mean I don’t want to rp.

 Like with multimuse blogs, I may have a bit of difficulty because there’s so much to take in, but I do try sometimes!! Also, as nice as it is, im not a person that likes to get involved in social justice post, political post, or drama/callout posts. To each their own, and I respect your opinions and your passion, but personally I don’t have the mental strength to be drained in the involvement of such things. I don’t mind ooc posts because I do them myself, but if the subjects become too heavy and repetitive, I will have to unfollow. I rather leave that stuff on a personal blog, not an rp blog. If there is something I do that bothers you, you are free to unfollow as well, but just because I unfollow does not mean our interactions have to stop. You can also just approach me directly and we can discuss it so I don’t make you uncomfortable, I don’t mind compromising! I hope you can understand! I don’t condone the gross shit like actual racism, -phobias, etc if its a real issue- then call it out, but when it comes to material being written, I personally don’t believe that people should be policed in what they write if they are not actually harm anyone, and that everyone needs to stay in their own lane. Thank you. 

I like to write in para format, personally.

 I like to get in depth and put a lot into a scene and scenario, so one liners aren’t exactly something I enjoy- Lest it’s for crack and such. You’ll probably see me fooling around a lot, but actual rp is usually done in paragraphs. I sometimes do and I sometimes don’t use icons. I have to draw mine out, mostly, I also use Aoshika from Wolf Guy as a face claim for expressions as well, but the issue is being on Tumblr mobile about 80% of the time blows up the icons out of proportion. Im sure you understand how long drawing icons can take. I apologize now if it looks ugly on the dash. As a partner, I’m not too picky about having icons or not as long as the quality of writing is good. Do you my dudes!

Speaking of writing, I’m horribly slow with replies. 

I apologize in advance, as I am a student in college and I’m working, I find it hard to get inspired to actually sit down and write. But I take long because I will not give anyone a half-assed reply, I make sure there is always something to work with. And if for whatever reason something I wrote doesn’t make sense for your muse in a scenario, just let me know! Im always willing to edit and change something . Even if I’m not writing replies, I’m always open to ooc chats and ideas to throw around about future scenarios.

In regards to shipping, I am Multiship, but I do naturally have my preferred partners. 

 Don’t let that turn you away though! I ship based on chemistry, based on interesting dynamics, and the likes. If you have an idea and you wanna ship, please let me know. I may not always be into it at first but who knows, it can grow on me! Rosie is bisexual so she has potential with both male and female partners, however how her behavior is between the genders varies in a relationship. You will find that Rosie has more sexual interest with the same potential romantic interest in men, and is much more romantically inclined than sexually interest in women. While she is generally open about male relations, she’s even more picky about females because its based more on emotional attachment. But both are absolutely possible.

A side note about Rosie is that depending on the stage in which she is met, and in what verse, loving her is not always easy.

She is an unstable woman underneath with trauma which has created association that expression of emotion is bad. She won’t always be the most loving and affectionate person at times as she drowns herself in responsibility, and she is not very direct in expressing her love through words, but rather through actions. Can definitely be a rough ride, but if you’re willing to go on an emotional roller coaster, so am I. ♡ I am also always open to platonic ships, friendships, hateships and all that kind of good stuff. Variety gives me life and makes everything more interesting.  Rosie has been even prone to toxic relationships.

When it comes to writing smut, understandably I will not write it with minors.

 In general, it takes me a while to be fully comfortable enough with a partner to write it, but I’m not closed off to the idea once we build up a good bond ooc and between the muses. Anything smut related is tagged under nsfw. Rosie is has a sexual addiction in a way, so she may be highly suggestive if she’s interested. I’m absolutely okay with fading to black if that is your preference!

On the note of Rosie’s sexual addiction as a hypersexual, please understand that she can be quite sensitive to it being brought to light. Its a shame to have such intrusive thoughts. Her emotions and feeling towards people can vary drastically- she can be completely indifferent to sexual thoughts towards a person, and then at some other time she needs it like a junkie. She may joke around her flirtatious conquest with friends, but it is not something she likes to get into. Also suffering from bipolar depression, her moods can vary drastically when dealing with particular people.

I like plot driven threads very much.

I find on the whim threads rather hard to keep up, and slice of life moments are only a rare indulgence.  I can indulge in all kinds of subjects, from the nitty gritty to the fluffy, whatever my partner might be interested in as long as we can discuss it.

Rosie was made from an original world, but she is an absolutely malleable character to any sort of fandom story. You can jump to mine or I can jump to yours, even if I know nothing about it. I’m more than willing to do research, go off of what you might tell me, and we can go on a journey from there! I need new stuff in my life. Please show me a new world .

Note that I usually do not like fighting threads.

They can be difficult for me, because while my muse is powerful, she is more often than not incredibly passive. Your muse is free to taunt and push buttons, but know well that she is fully capable of biting back hard. There are consequences for actions, but I do not like going into battle threads unless it’s plotted. For the sake of her children, or keeping her secrets, she is not afraid to kill.

PLEEEAAASEE!! Please Please Please understand that my muse and I DO NOT share the same views on things.Muse does not equal mun. Especially if there is tension between a muse and Rosie, and she gets snippy and harsh. She can be impulsive and say mean and offensive shit because she’s defensive.. and the shit she does is not always alright. Please understand I will not always condone what she does.. She is her own fictional person.

AAAND THAT SHOULD BE IT! Thank you so very much for reading, and I look forward to threading with you all!

[sableaire]

hello! this might be a little odd to ask since I don't think you've ever talked about this publicly, but I really value your opinion and think you are super well-read so I wondered what your thoughts were on this!!! My gf recently got me into kuroshitsuji, and I was wondering if you had any thoughts on sebaciel, as a psychological concept? (I really liked your ks analysis!!! also I don't want you to think I'm asking for an actual analysis or anything I was just curious!!!)

Oh dear, I haven’t read Kuroshitsuji in years. I think I stopped some point near the end of the boarding school arc. Thank you for your kind words, by the way - true or not, I’m glad that is the impression I give off, ahaha.

Just on a surface level, I think the Kuroshitsuji animes were the ones that really leaned into the fanservice. There may have been some scenes in the manga that are evading my memory, but there’s no denying that the anime hinted at it far more heavily. As such, I feel that fans who only watched the anime - or watched the anime first - are more likely to end up shipping SebaCiel. However, I pretty much reject the first two anime and haven’t seen the Book of Circus, so my answer will have to focus on the manga.

Regardless, I know this is a touchy subject for a lot of people, fans and non-fans alike, so my response is below the cut: 

My thoughts on the concept of SebaCiel, hm… I can see where people might be getting it, I think, but I don’t necessarily understand it. When I read the manga when I was a teenager, I didn’t realize that people shipped the two characters romantically/sexually. It just didn’t occur to me. 

So personally, when I read Kuroshitsuji, I saw no romantic or sexual chemistry there (and this isn’t even mentioning the fact that Ciel Phantomhive as written is a literal child, aha;;). What I saw in Kuroshitsuji and what appealed to me as a reader was a fascinating power dynamic, wrapped up in a weird business arrangement, and I think there-in lies the issue.

Perhaps it’s just because I’m aroace, but I personally feel that a lot of readers fail to acknowledge that there can be an emotional/mental intimacy in a relationship without romance. Similarly, there is a failure to acknowledge that there can be a power dynamic or obsession without sexual undertones.

From my limited knowledge of the SebaCiel fandom, it seems to me that the ship is built more upon sexual content rather than romantic fluff, which plays into my point. I believe that a lot of people end up shipping SebaCiel because of the underlying power dynamic between the two throughout the entirety of the manga, which many readers automatically associate with sexual themes.

I cannot speak for the intention of the author as to whether Kuroshitsuji is meant to encourage shipping Sebastian and Ciel or not. I do believe she started as a BL author, which could mean that any homoerotic undertones (should they be present; I don’t personally remember any, it’s been a while) are intentional. It could also just mean that she’s so used to drawing them that she doesn’t know how to draw pretty scenes without them, ahaha.

However, from a storytelling perspective myself, I don’t see any grounds for a romantic or sexual relationship between the two. Ciel is wholly focused on his revenge, fully intending to die - a little too busy for romance, and he holds his responsibilities as a noble to a certain esteem, which means that were he not to die, he would probably fully intend to marry his fiancee Elizabeth, without affair.

As for the demon himself, my interpretation at the time of reading - which, again, it’s been years - was that what Sebastian got out of this relationship was Ciel’s own corruption of self. Yeah, he likes the corruption of an innocent soul or whatnot, but what he got out of their weird pact was a front-row seat to Ciel’s self-destructive journey. He is basically ensuring that his favorite cake is baking properly, and his whole interest in Ciel is because Ciel himself is the one corrupting his own soul, without Sebastian’s direct involvement or encouragement.

Since that’s Sebastian’s role in all this, I don’t see it as a strong possibility that he would, I don’t know, seducing Ciel for laughs as a viable option, and if he attempted, I imagine Ciel would firmly shut it down, and if Ciel expresses no interest, Sebastian wouldn’t waste the effort on trying.

Further, I cannot actually imagine Sebastian actually harboring any affection for Ciel. He is a demon, fundamentally different from a human. What he is there for is the promise of one of the best soul meals of his life - he cares for Ciel to the extent I might care for a Michelin star Asian-style Strawberry Shortcake: I’m going to watch the chef, sit in front of the oven and stare at it while it is cooking, make sure it’s decorated to my liking, and I am going to kill anyone who tries to prevent me from eating the whole thing after I waited so long. Heck, I’ll probably kill anyone who even smears the icing. 

However, even without a sexual or romantic component, the two characters do still undeniably have both a power dynamic and a codependence. They both are incredibly prideful, and they are both bonded together despite their personal animosity for a perceived mutually beneficial outcome. Ciel holds power of Sebastian in all the public ways, as the Lord to demon’s Butler, but Ciel is also helplessly reliant on Sebastian when it comes to all the… supernatural stuff… and also not-so-supernatural stuff…

And personally, I love that. I love the stories where one character has all the cards and the other has to swallow their pride to get what they want, and I love stories about one-up-manship, and I love stories about people being forced to rely on one another. However, those dynamics do not have to be sexual, and they do not have to be romantic. Also, possessive behavior does not have to mean romantic/sexual obsession, especially when one character is technically a tool (a means to an end) and the other is literally a food source. I am pretty darn possessive of my laptop computer, and I would be pretty damn possessive over my Michelin-star strawberry shortcake. 

I didn’t actually intend on this being such an effective analogy, but now I am super protective and territorial about this imaginary strawberry shortcake because by god, it has been years since I had a good one.

Still, my theory is that to a lot of people, when presented with a power dynamic in fiction, many readers immediately see a sexual appeal to it in a Dom/sub-esque fashion, and when presented with seeming emotional intimacy, they immediately see romantic potential. And though the author/artist may throw in fanservice, that’s just that - service. It doesn’t discourage the shippers, for sure, but it’s not necessarily support for it either.

Basically, due to modern culture, committed and or intimate and or passionate and or intense relationships in fiction are often perceived to be romantic and or sexual in nature when they do not have to be. Platonic relationships are underrated. Non-sexual hatred and obsession is underrated. 

It could also just be that people are interpreting a business-arrangement-turned-emotionally-invested-relationship narrative as a platonic-relationship-turned-romantic one. I know a lot of people who think of platonic relationships as equivalent to mere acquaintanceship, and there-in might lie the issue. They may fail to perceive Ciel and Sebastian’s escalating emotional involvement (if there was any, I can’t remember) as a step up from a professional relationship. They may instead perceive it as a step up from a platonic one.

Also, Kuroshitsuji is one of those mangas a lot of people discover while young, so that may factor into the enthusiastic fandom and the eagerness for romance, considering most tween/young teen books angling for girls are romantic in nature and that is how many girls are used to relating to their fiction.

Sorry if this wasn’t the kind of answer you meant, and again, it has been years since I properly read the manga. I heard the two-Ciel theory’s been proven true? Fascinating.

[orionsangel86]

12x19 - Episode Review - Intimacy, Love, Faith and mixtapes

What can I even say about this episode? Since my first watch I have been going around with a goofy grin on my face while thinking of nothing but mixtapes and intimate touches between two people who love each other so dearly that even the most stringent heteronormative people must be side eyeing the show thinking “that’s kinda gay”. When I try to think about the actual plot of the episode though and what will come of this in the finale? Well, I am a bit lost… though I do have some ideas. I can’t say I am entirely thrilled by the plot structure this season. Hence my long tumblr absences as well as limited thoughts and meta since 12x12. There is too much going on, too many stories which don’t seem to have any real connection. Also Lucifer really pisses me off as a character now and every time he is on screen I roll my eyes.

This episode wasn’t up there with the likes of 12x10 and 12x12 for quality. Then again as soon as the story turns back to Kelly and her unborn Satan spawn I do find it hard to stay switched on, but the destiel this episode was glorious and gave me a lot of hope for where Dabb intends to take this. Am I still annoyed that we are lacking Cas so much this half season? Yes. Very. The fact that he doesn’t return until the finale pisses me off to no end, I will most likely disappear again after writing this review and not comment on the episodes leading up to the finale unless Dean suddenly decides to jump out of the closet and hit on handsome bisexual Max next week as a rebound for all the rejection he suffered in 12x19. (honestly I am praying to the TV Gods that Max takes a liking to Dean and we get a good helping of Gay to get us through our Cas withdrawal symptoms).

Without any further rambling however here is my review of 12x19.

It gets long down there under the cut…

Take this mixtape for my heart… complete with kisses and songs about you

The best part about this episode? Destiel. Oh boy the destiel. It was so gloriously gay. I can’t even imagine how the antis and non-shippers are feeling about this! I am so very full of joy and glee about this!

We know from the opening sequence that Dean has been pining for Cas and worrying about Cas for a while now, but the glorious moment when Cas walks into the Bunker and Dean looks up at him is just…

Oh how very dramatic. The might as well have put him in soft focus and had a swell of romantic music as his lover returned home from war… seriously. But then all the DeanCas shots in this episode are framed so romantically/intimately. Kudos to Amanda Tapping for just getting it. (then again she was present during the most heartbreaking DeanCas scene of all time the crypt scene and therefore I have no doubt that she is very much aware of Destiel and its importance.

Once again this shot escalates into an argument between Dean and Cas that Sam is stuck in the middle of. I seriously love how this has continued throughout season 12. Sam is the poor third wheel stuck in the middle whilst his brother and brother in law have a lovers tiff.  

We get another classic confused kinda bitch face from Sam when Dean snaps at him because he dares to be nice to Cas…

Seriously we have now built up a nice collection of Sam bitchfaces and knowing looks when he is stuck having to deal with these two once again. Poor Sam. Let him save the day and get a dog and marry Eileen so he can finally get some PEACE! :P

“Not only were you ditching us you were ignoring us”.

“What the hells wrong with you man?”

We have a LOT of call backs to previous seasons in this episode. I mean A LOT of call backs. This one particularly was quite interesting as it threw us right back into Purgatory:

“I prayed to you Cas, every night”

“I know.”

“You know and you didn’t… What the hell’s wrong with you?”

So what does this mean? Already we have a call back to the start of season 8, which then lead to a whole story arc where Cas was brainwashed by the angels and ended with Dean managed to break through that brainwashing with the power of… platonic friendship pfft.

Doesn’t bode well for the end of this episode though does it?

Now we need to talk about the mixtape. Yes I know this has probably already been meta’d to death on tumblr. Yes I am sure some of you are sick of it (though be honest.. you aren’t really sick of it now are you? I know how long the “I love you” conversations lasted for after 12x12 aired so shut it and enjoy my meta thoughts too. :P )

Cas follows Dean back to his room (for the privacy of course – also note that he doesn’t feel he needs to explain himself to SAM) under the pretense of returning a mixtape that Dean gave him. My first though before we even GET to the subject of Dean giving Cas a mixtape in the first place, is why Cas is using the return of this very romantic gesture at all. Even with his knowledge of pop culture, I don’t think Cas realises the importance of giving someone a mixtape, hence him thinking he needed to return it in the first place. It was in no way a rejection from Cas (like he could reject Dean pfft). But Dean clarified that it was a gift anyway. Oh but can we just pause again and store this to fandom memory forever and ever?

DEAN WINCHESTER GAVE CASTIEL A MIXTAPE

And isn’t that the most beautiful, innocent, loving gesture that for these two macho manly gruff heros its almost too much to bare! Dean Winchester is such a fucking teddybear deep down I can’t quite stand it. Argh I love him so much for this moment!

So lets talk about this mixtape some more because I can’t get enough:

“Dean’s top 13 Zepp Traxx”

Except that’s not exactly what it says. Why two Xs rather than the correct spelling? Why the slight spacing between the “TRA” and the “XX”? Why, if you are spelling “Tracks” the ‘cool’ way would you not shorten it to “Trax” why two Xs unless those Xs also had a separate meaning loosly hidden in the spelling?

Basically those Xs are also ‘kisses’ and no one can tell me otherwise.

Isn’t that just a perfect mini metaphor for destiel itself though? The main text reading is that Dean has spelt the word the slang way, using the Xs as a fun way to spell the word only. Nothing suspicious here, totally platonic.

And yet everyone knows that Xs also mean kisses. Everyone.

The romantic message is hidden in the label. It isn’t totally obvious at first, but it is once you put it together with the general meaning of a mixtape.

Speaking of, for all you kiddies out there who haven’t lived in the age before CDs, ipods and MP3s, giving someone a mixtape has a HUGE meaning to it. It is also, without a doubt, always romantic.

I am sure that by the time I post this, the mixtape will have been meta’d to death on tumblr and you will all be flailing about it anyway… I know I was as soon as I first watched the episode. This is a big moment. No. Seriously. Friends don’t give friends mixtapes. People who love people and people who have major crushes on people give people mixed tapes. It is always always romantic in its meaning.

If we try to look for a platonic reading to this, perhaps Dean didn’t make this tape for Cas, perhaps its one he had lying around already (though the Xs kinda throw that reading out). Even so, it is still a mixtape that Dean made at some point and then gave to Cas. This is the canon. I just wish we could have seen the moment Dean gave it to him (probably shoved it at him with a gruff “here, you need to listen to some real music” whilst desperately trying and failing to stop himself blushing. I LOVE this and I wanna read that fanfiction.

To make this whole thing even more romantic. Dean confirms it himself. There is no denying it. “It’s a gift. You keep those” this wasn’t just something that Dean had lying around that Cas picked up and asked to borrow, it wasn’t something Dean just shoved at him and said “You need to listen to some decent music, take this” and didn’t think about it any more. Dean put thought into it because it was a gift specifically for Cas.

If only Cas had actually realised that fact. Though I will talk more about Cas’s continued unknowing rejection of Dean this episode a bit later… first this shot:

Its beautiful, and you all know me and my hand obsession in SPN. Hands have meaning. They are important. They leave a print. There is always intimacy in moments like this. The way Dean and Cas exchange touches throughout this season always brings me joy. This moment is no different.

I have decided to make a separate post about hands in this episode because I am a nerd who got super excited about all these beautiful close up hand shots that have such a massive significance. Anyway, back to the mixtape…

Ultimately, there was no plot related reason for the mixtape scene. Other than to give Cas an excuse to come find Dean… which he had anyway? To apologise and try to clear the air (and also to find the Colt) so… why the mixtape? Why even bring it into the show if not to emphasise Dean and Cas’s relationship and the romantic nature of it that is now more than heavily implied. After a previous one sided love confession how is ANYONE supposed to read their relationship as anything other than inherintly romantic?

Cas’s quiet “Oh” just infuriates me because REALLY CAS? You didn’t KNOW what that meant? Urgh. I mean, yeah okay so he never has been very good with the whole social conventions and stuff like that but still. Then Dean just goes and does something which makes me love him even more. He starts a conversation. Oh boy how he has grown. Communication is key and Dean FINALLY seems to be understanding this.

“Cas, you can’t… with everything that’s going on you can’t just go dark like that”

Interesting. Dark like Superman going darkside yeah? We are back to 6x20. We are seriously getting flashbacks to Destiel’s greatest hits in the space of a few minutes here. Also, this whole conversation is just so freaking intimate in the way it is shot, the dark moody lighting, the way both actors are speaking relatively softly compared to their usual gruff tones and just the sheer weight of emotion in Dean’s face.

Its forcing the viewer to get up close and personal with Dean’s feelings here. Forcing them to really consider how much he is hurting and therefore forcing them to ask the question WHY. Why does this make me, as a viewer, feel like I am intruding? Is this a common shot composition for friendly conversations between platonic friends?!? Um. Nope. Hence this ENTIRE SCENE SCREAMS ROMANCE. And also, sadly, betrayal.

At least we get an explanation from Cas. The thing is, we see Dean’s POV most of the time, therefore we don’t really get to understand Cas’s reasons for doing things, but this episode he does get a chance to justify his actions, and as expected, it all comes back to Dean…

“I needed to come back here with a win for you… for myself”

Because Cas has failed so much, is still suffering from depression (though it hasn’t been brought back into maintext for a while now) and is so conflicted on where he is supposed to be going nowadays. He has lost his mission, he has no riteous path, and no faith… and this episode is all about faith when you get down to it… faith and fate, destiny and hope for the future… though not from the right place (and we are now back even further – in season 5.) and Dean is desperate to get him back on track but still doesn’t really say the right things.

“We will find a better way”

“You mean we?” *gestures to the both of them

“Yes, dumbass, we.”

Dean is still having to clarify for Cas that he is part of their family and that they want him around. Cas still doesn’t get it, because even if Dean thinks he is being clear, he really isn’t. Not to someone who has struggled with their self worth, struggled with depression and feelings of total worthlessness. It will take far more than some words about the three of them to get Cas to realise just how much Dean cares. Remember folks, from Cas’s perspective, he has confessed his love and hasn’t heard it back. He didn’t a get a “I love you too” or even a “we love you too”. Just a “we ain’t leaving you behind”. Which is easy to explain away as the Winchesters not wanting people to die on their watch. The Winchesters always try to save people, meaning Cas isn’t any more special than any other random civilian who the Winchesters wouldn’t leave to die… when you think about it from Cas’s perspective, its still a bit of a kick in the teeth.  

“You, me… and Sam. We’re just better together” Again, Dean isn’t quite giving Cas what he needs? The pause, then the added “and Sam” just takes us right back to the beer run in 11x23 and Cas’s dissapointment, It becomes easy to understand Cas’s motivations when you look at it from a destiel perspective and consider that he has been rejected and continuously referred to as a third wheel to the brother dynamic. In Cas’s mind, Dean doesn’t return his feelings, and by not understanding the implications of a mixtape as a gift, nor the extent to which Dean would go to forgive him, Cas continues down his path of destruction and takes the Colt. They may be communication, but they aren’t really communicating. Its such a classic romance trope and I’m pulling my hair out STILL over these two.

“Lets go Team Free Will”. Could the callbacks to previous seasons be any more obvious? Now we really are in season 5 and in the past 5 minutes have travelled back through the greatest hits of destiel. From Purgatory guilt, Season 6 betrayal and now season 5 loss of faith. These are the major themes of 12x19. Cas is stuck in a cycle of self destruction. Where will this end for him?  

The next scene with Dean and Sam discussing Sam’s theories and the grace extraction as a potential solution just proves how far they have come. Its no longer “how do we kill the thing” but “how do we stop the thing from being evil without resorting to violence?” I call this the “Amara Effect” and I am very happy about this. Anyway, what I really wanna talk about here is just how happy Dean was to finally have a solution and how his FIRST THOUGHT was “I’ll get Cas”. Like he just wanted Cas to be there to work with them on this together. He really did mean what he said to Cas in his room. My heart breaks for him when he realises Cas is gone.

However can we please just take a moment to be so fucking thankful that FINALLY IT IS CANON THAT CAS HAS A ROOM IN THE BUNKER!!

This is CAS’s ROOM! CASTIEL HAS A ROOM AT THE BUNKER. Number 15 to be exact. 3 doors down from Dean. (yes I know this was also the number of the room used by Mary apparantly earlier on in this season but clearly Cas stays there because why else would Dean have gone to this random room to look for him and not the kitchen or the archives hmm?)

LOOK AT THE HEARTBREAK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE REALISES CAS IS GONE AGAIN

Oh Dean. It is such a common trope though. Just when he thinks he has the person he loves back by his side again, they are gone. We really are back to season 8 here with Cas being the one rejecting Dean. (please lets not forget that the extent of the rejection for the past three seasons has been on Dean with Cas holding the torch for destiel and it is only now that we are finally experiencing the brunt of the shift back to Dean.) This episode is by FAR the most romantic we have had so far in terms of destiel in the past FOUR seasons. The only episodes that really surpass it are 6x20 and 8x17 (though 12x10 is a close contender). This is being written, and shot as a romance and my gosh I love it. Poor Dean.

THEN we get further justification for Cas’s actions. I know that this episode hasn’t really done him any favours for painting him as a bit of a villain and I know that the Cas haters will have a field day with his treatment of the Winchesters, but we are getting solid explanations for his actions here, and they all point back to Cas’s love for the Winchesters, his love for Dean…

“I am doing this for the Winchesters. I stole the Colt to keep them out of this mission”

“I will kill this girl, so that Sam and Dean won’t have to.”

Because that really is love, Cas would do the dirty work to spare Sam and Dean the pain of having to do something that could traumatise them further. Cas is doing this so that they won’t have to suffer that. He is doing it to protect them, because he loves them. I swear to god if I see a single post from a cas hater trying to paint him as a villain who doesn’t care I will be all over it. They have NOTHING to back up their arguments.

It is of course, the same tune that Cas is singing again and again. This is the reason behind ALL of his motivations. Its always about the Winchesters. Its not about his reputation, glory, praise, its not even about saving the world. Its about sparing Sam and Dean from doing something horrible. He just wants them to have the peace and freedom they taught him was so important back in freaking season FOUR. I won’t be holding his decisions in this episode against him, because I think Dabb has a very clear idea of where Cas is going with his story arc, and its all about emphasising what is truly important to him, what Cas basically lives for now. Yeah, he needed the win. He needs to put a stop to something that could potentially destroy the world, but his true reasons for doing it are spelt out in this episode.

Coming back to Sam and Dean, the conversation about the Colt:

“How did Cas even get the Colt out of the safe in the first place?”

“…”

“Dean, you put the colt back in the safe right? Dean?”

“… it was under my pillow… I like to keep it close.”

“He came into my room and he played me.”

“He played us both.”

What I love about this exchange, is that until this moment we don’t know where Cas got the Colt from. He could have just broken into the safe, or he could have got it from where Dean previously kept it under the table in the library. But they chose to have him steal it from under Dean’s pillow. Once again there is added intimacy to a scene where really, the intimacy is unecessary for the plot. When you start to put together all the choices that the writer and director made for this episode, it becomes really difficult to see it from a persective that doesn’t involve Destiel.

Yes, we know in the previous scene that Dean left Cas alone in his room, but the way Dean acts when he owns up to Sam that it was stolen from under his pillow makes it sound like it WASN’T innocent. “Cas came into my room and distracted me and manipulated me enough to find and steal the colt from under my pillow.” It just stinks of sexual subtext and it makes the betrayal that much worse. As I said before, this is 6x20 all over again. But this time its even MORE personal BECAUSE of everything they have been through since then and just how much they have admitted to each other including a bloody love confession and a mixtape. The theft from under the pillow of all places only adds a sexual layer to that heap of intimate subtext. Am I saying they had sex? No. I am not saying this. What I am saying is that having Cas steal the Colt from under Dean’s pillow rather than from a safe or from another safe place adds a layer of intimacy that was not previously necessary. It makes the theft a bigger violation of Dean’s trust than stealing it from the safe, it makes the betrayal a lovers betrayal rather than the betrayal of a friend in the subtext. (I’m not sure if I’m explaining this well, but hopefully you all get the general idea).

Basically, it is another point to add to the list of things in this episode that show that Dean and Cas’s relationship is romantic rather than platonic at this stage (even if textually it isn’t… its how they both act and feel around each other and emphasises how their feelings for each other are NOT PLATONIC.)

As always, at this stage, if you are still struggling to see a destiel reading, consider the same scene but with Sam rather than Dean. Would it work the same way? Have the same impact? How about instead, just considering WHY this never happens to Sam? Why Dean gets the emotional close up with the sweeping string music whilst staring longlingly into Castiel’s empty bedroom and not Sam. Why its Dean that runs off to get Cas, why its Dean’s pillow that Cas stole the Colt from under, why its Dean that gave him the mixtape, and not Sam.

Then we get shots like THIS:

Which lets be honest, are oozing with sexual tension. I was discussing with @godshipsit about how when I first watched this scene, my heart kinda skipped a beat and I was stunned for a second into thinking “this is how they will go canon” (not in this exact scene in this episode of course, but it will be like this when it finally happens. Because I can picture this shot, I can picture the frustration between them and Dean just deciding enough is enough and taking that final step forward and just kissing his dumbass angel so that he finally gets it) The framing of the shot again is beautifully done, the circle around them, framing them and also making the viewer feel like once again they are spying on them. Yes Dean is angry, but Cas is letting him manhandle him up against a wall. Remember he is an angel, he could easily stand his ground, but he doesn’t. He lets Dean get out his frustration here. Lets Dean be threatening. Notice how Sam doesn’t ever react in such a way. Because its not really how friends react is it?

Okay so Dean and Cas have a volatile relationship, that sometimes leads to moments like this which could be viewed as violent or even dare I say ‘abusive’ and gosh wouldn’t the anti’s have a field day with that. But think about romantic tropes for a second, the old hollywood types. Its never friends that get angry and have moments like this that are shot in such a way, but lovers? Having lovers tiffs? Yeah, this is common. The fighting, the pinning against a wall, the staring into each others eyes trying to stand their ground? Its classic sexual tension. Dean doesn’t hurt Cas in this scene remember. Cas doesn’t hurt Dean either. Not physically. The only reason that Cas hurts Dean emotionally is because he doesn’t realise how much Dean cares about him. He knows he is betraying his friends, he knows he is doing wrong in terms of a friendship but views his actions as justified to keep them safe. From a romantic perspective Cas has not yet grasped just how much he is emotionally hurting Dean at this point – because Dean hasn’t yet given him reason to believe he is hurting him this much – though he makes it pretty obvious from the audiences perspective.

Then if we hadn’t already had it spelled out to us again Cas once again gives us his reasons:

“I wanted to keep you out of this, I was trying to keep you safe”

“this is my responsibility”

The writers are constantly trying to remind the audience that Cas’s reasons are always about the Winchesters. There isn’t a selfish bone in his body. He may be jepardising his relationship with them, but to him the end justifies the means. Cas wants the Winchesters kept safe, so his betrayal makes sense to him. Like I have said before. It is season 6 all over again. I just hope it ends differently.

I have to give Dean major kudos here though for being the most understanding boyfriend on the planet, because even after Kelly and Cas steal his beloved Impala he STILL is able to stick up for Cas

“He’s so desperate for a win now he can’t even see straight”

In case the viewers weren’t aware already that Cas is SO NOT THE BAD GUY HERE, Dean spells it out for us in his own words. Yeah, he’s pissed, but he is still able to see Cas’s POV, he gets it, he still cares, still wants to be there for him. I am sure there is some awesome symbolic meaning behind him fixing Cas’s truck up for him as well. If the way Dean fixing up the Impala is supposed to symbolise him healing his own soul, fixing up Cas’s truck has got to also symbolise him fixing Cas. Dean will be there for Cas when he comes back, like he always does.

Dean has come so far this season. His development, his ability to see other peoples POV, his distaste for lies and his slow deconstruction of his ‘performing Dean’ mask. I just adore how far Dean has come, and I can’t wait to see more of this. Dean is being forgiving, he is understanding, he is communicating and I think it is wonderful, really. Not just for destiel, but for his own health and state of mind, and for all the other characters he interacts with.

Moving past the epic finale with baby lucifer taking control of Cas to destroy Dagon, I need to talk about this scene:

Because yeah, something is wrong with Cas, but he was still himself enough to show this level of care and consideration to Dean. The gentle “you’re hurt” and this gorgeous and intimate (again the intimacy in the shots this episode has me majorly fangirling at Amanda Tappin’s excellent direction) caress as he heals him. Dean doesn’t get a standard tap on the forehead or glowy hand hovering a few inches above an injury. Nope. Dean gets gentle, intimate caresses as he is healed. Because Dean is and always will be special to Cas.

Dean won’t let Cas leave, even after everything Cas has done this episode, he still worries about him and argues to stay with him

“Whatever that thing did to you we’re not just gonna let you walk away” Dean knows that Cas isn’t right, he knows that he can’t leave him now. Dean has been down this road before, and that whole speech about faith and the baby well, it just brought back major 8x17 feels to be honest. It sounded like Cas talking about the angel tablet all over again. That was after the brainwashing was broken remember? More on that in a bit.

Basically, this episode was full of destiel moment and I am a big heap of emotional mess thanks to it. Nevertheless, there is more to talk about than just the glorious destieliciousness of this episode (yes that is totally a word).

Therefore, let’s consider what we learned about:

Lucifer’s Baby, Faith and the Future

The fact that this episode started out so darkly, immediately screamed to me that it was not going to end well either, or that any of this was going to end well. Kelly was so very lost to the point that she killed herself. A striking visual for the viewer, and one that is all too common in TV and film nowadays. Kelly couldn’t cope with what her baby would become, and so resorted to taking her own life and the life of the baby instead.

Honestly this is the first episode that I have actually liked Kelly’s character. It feels like the first time she has had any real depth and personality (which is fitting since its also the first time she has been written by a writer other than the terrible duo).

The baby saves her though of course, since it is half angel and therefore has the power of grace to heal her. This shouldn’t be surprising to anyone who understands angels but Kelly treats it as a miracle. She has a change of heart and suddenly we are on the “faith” path.

I think that Cas was probably always going to bond with Kelly after this scene. It may still only be buried in the subtext, but we have had enough call backs to season 8 this episode to make us remember that very heart breaking moment in 8x08 when Cas admitted to Dean that he might kill himself. Cas has been suicidal in the past. With everything he has been through, it’s no wonder he couldn’t go through with killing Kelly.

Whilst I don’t think that the baby will be quite the great evil that Dagon thinks it will be, I have no doubt in my mind that it has Lucifer-like tendencies to manipulate and that at this point its main concern is its own survival. I don’t think it is inherently evil, but still:

“Every sad weak human, every tight ass angel, every snivelling demon, they’ll all be consumed.”

Doesn’t this all seem very Amara-like to you? Because honestly the use of the word ‘consumed’ kinda throws big Amara signs my way. But surely not because we did this story last season. (see this is why the Lucifer baby story annoys me). Anyway, the stories are really similar. The Angels all want this baby dead, so they go to great lengths to kill it, only Cas can’t do it because hes’ Cas and he may talk a big game but killing innocents hasn’t been his thing since well… Jesse… and that is yet another time they basically did this freaking story.

As I mentioned though, Kelly gets through to Cas because of their similar experiences with desiring suicide and feeling hopeless. They are both mirrored this episode as feeling lost and hopeless and therefore vulnerable and easy to manipulate. Isn’t that always the way the devil gets to you? Isn’t that exactly what Lucifer did to Cas last year?

The whole conversation about faith and destiny is very season 5 and is very intentional in an episode that has already used the phrase “team free will” to refer to Sam, Dean and Cas. Other things in this episode that seem kinda pointless on the surface but must have some deeper meaning include the death of Joshua. Why bring him back for all of one episode only to kill him like that? Unless of course he was simply there to remind the viewer of something? Just like the mentioning of “team free will” even though honestly why Dean would say such a thing to Cas who was unconscious the first time he said it? This isn’t just fanservice. This is to take the viewer right back to season 5 and the BIG theme of that season. Free Will, Freedom and Choice are far more important than destiny and fate, and that faith can come from all kinds of different sources.

The last episode where we met Joshua was Dark Side of the Moon. The episode where Castiel lost his faith. Since then, Castiel has had only one real source of faith: the Winchesters. Yes he has been lost and low and broken over the years but he has always had one overall believe, and that is the Winchesters and what they do. In the same episode where we see a massive increase in Destiel subtext and Pining!Dean we  also see the return of Joshua for all of two seconds and Dean trying so hard to get through to Cas, to convince him that the three of them work best together, but Cas still doesn’t get it, doesn’t see it, because Dean hasn’t given him the real reasons, hasn’t spelled it out for him the way Cas did to Dean in 12x12. There has been no obvious love confession from Dean. So Cas is still lost, still wondering, still without a guiding light to bring him home.

Hence he is an easy target for the creepy baby to come and take him as its personal protector. By the end of the episode, Castiel is not our Cas. Not the Cas that chooses the Winchesters anyway. Not the Cas that chooses love over all else. This is a Cas who is reminiscent of Cas when he held the angel tablet and it spoke to his angel coding and told him to keep it safe at all costs. This isn’t brainwashing as such, not the way Naomi brainwashed him, or Rowena cast a spell on him, or Lucifer possessed him. This is a Cas that is vulnerable and in desperate need of a mission to keep him preoccupied to stop him from feeling utterly worthless because he couldn’t bring Dean a “win”. That baby latched on to those feelings, and convinced Cas that he was the best chance of a better future.

The fact that both Kelly and Cas had these yellow eyes is clear proof that this is NOT GOOD. Okay so they still have their pupils in tact unlike the Princes of Hell, but it is still yellow and it still came with that unsettling sound effect that was always associated with Azazel (and then brought back for Ramiel). The baby may not be “evil” in the literal sense, but it is not a good thing. It will not be born and be the “savior”.

Castiel and faith do not go together. When you give Castiel faith in anything that isn’t a Winchester, well, its just not done. This won’t be good. Especially when the words “The Future” were heard over this shot:

Isn’t that ominous. Castiel may have come back to his senses enough to gently heal Dean’s injury (proving that our real Cas is still in there somewhere – always thinking of Dean when he is hurt) but real Cas would NOT just leave Dean and Sam lying on the ground vulnerable outside the ENTRANCE TO HEAVEN AND ALL THOSE ANGELS THAT HATE THEM. WHAT THE FUCK? Yeah so not good basically.

Whatever the future that the baby showed Cas was, it seemed to please him. Now, since it showed Kelly the real future that we saw in this episode then it must have been somewhat real, it also had to be something that was enough motivation to give Cas his faith back… but what could that possibly be? A world without SPN creatures? A world in which Sam and Dean have the peace they deserve? Safety? A life outside of hunting? What else could possibly motivate Cas to go along with this babies ‘plan’ if not something to help the Winchesters?

I’m still unconvinced that this will be anything but bad and that Castiel has been shown a lie. Either that, or this is how they tie the whole thing into the BMOL plot where they want to get rid of all spn creatures as well… even though Sam and Dean are also against them (or will be once they realise the extent of their crazy fascism).

All I can hope is that Dabb knows where he is going with this. The emotional plot seems to be far stronger than the actual story line this year. Which is great in one way, but I still feel we are lacking structure, and I cannot see how this is gonna end. I kinda want to believe that Dabb has decided to let Cas get sort of brainwashed again just so he can have another go at the Crypt Scene (and get it RIGHT this time) because really what else is gonna break Cas out of this weird kind of semi-controlled state? Other than Dean’s love? Why else would they ramp up the subtext to 11 in the same episode that Cas loses his own free will if not to prove to us that Dean will yet again be the key to his freedom?

Overall

The Destiel was great, the plot kinda meh, I have no idea where this baby plot is going and if we get a repeat of season 11s baby Amara plot I’ll be pissed. If Lucifer doesn’t die in the finale I’ll be pissed (I want Cas to hold him down whilst Sam kills him). Fingers crossed for a Crypt Scene but with a canon confession of love from Dean far greater than 8x17s “I need you”. After all, he has been shedding so much of his performance mask, trying so hard to be honest, to accept other people into his life… he is opening himself to vulnerability and accepting that it is okay to do – even when those people hurt him… Dean is learning to be emotionally healthy and really, this route can only end in him doing the one thing he has always struggled to do. The return of his mother this season has only emphasised this. Bearing in mind she is the only person he has ever said the words to before. Could we be on track to getting a confession of love from Dean to Cas? Isn’t it about time? After this episode, I actually think it’s a possibility.

I hate that Cas is not himself again. It breaks my heart. I imagine a lot of people see this as a regression, and I am trying not to. He needs to learn that there are other ways. The difference is that now Dean knows the reasons why Cas is like this. Cas did use his words to explain his reasons quite clearly, so Dean understood. Dean just needs to figure out the key to getting Cas to see things from his POV.

This episode had many great points in it. Obviously the destiel was glorious. The camera work and framing and composition and direction were also fantastic. I hope Amanda comes back and directs again. The one word I will use to describe this episode is “intimate”. Because half the time I felt like I was watching very private moments between characters and I don’t usually feel that way. It was really well put together. I do hope it all comes together by season end, though I am still not too sure. Either way, I liked this episode, even with the baby plot and Lucifer turning up in the middle there. It was satisfying. I’ll give it a 8/10 for how it made me feel after my first watch.