#those high expectations i get why he has a fear of disappointment

[aurorangen]

I need to tell them. Those were the words occupying Robbie's mind throughout the afternoon with his parents. But why ruin a good day? Any parent would react badly hearing the news of their son quitting his career at a highly respected company. Robbie knew Leilani would react less severely, given her positive outlook on all situations, so when Bryce went to buy some food, he took the opportunity.

Having finally discussed the matter, Robbie felt an immediate sense of relief. "Oh come here, darling, you did the right thing quitting." It pained Leilani to hear her son struggling and concealing this information from her, "You must always prioritise yourself and that job wasn't doing you any good...I just want you to be happy and healthy Robbie." When Bryce returned, Robbie took a deep breath and said, "Dad, there's something you should know."

Bryce pressured Robbie to be successful without fully realising it. These were things such as comparing him to Renee, always asking about work research and setting high expectations given their shared love for biology and science. When Renee and Robbie secured good jobs, he boasted about them to friends and family, which undoubtedly unnerved Robbie anytime reality didn't meet expectations. Now that he quit his job, it was that fear of disappointment.

Faced with his dad, Robbie felt like he impulsively threw away his ambition, when he could've resolved the issues by dismissing them until things went away. Anger welled up in Bryce's eyes after the conversation and Robbie braced himself for the sighs and disapproval.

"Who are those co-workers Robbie??? I'm gonna teach those jerks a lesson cos no one messes with my son!" Bryce responded with an assertiveness in his voice, hinting he'd do anything to defend his family. As much as Robbie would've liked to see that, it wasn't the most sensible action. "T-Thanks Dad, but I've moved on from those events," Robbie admitted, still taken aback by his reaction. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you a better upbringing, I-I never meant to put that much pressure," Bryce explained after calming down, "I just want the best for you."

"Look, I'm proud of you. You don't have to reach the top of your career or earn the big wages-…hell you don't even have to prove anything to show me that. I'm already so proud of you every minute and every day, because you are my son."

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Elite Serial Killer (2)

Part 1

Like frightened deer you scatter

In your opinion, you get pretty far

At one point climbing up high to see where the lights of the small town were

You were making great time 

“(Y/n)! Down here!”

The sun was rising and while you were hesitant you did go to meet ‘Piggie’

She seems high-spirited for such a horrible situation

But she shares the berries she’s found that weren’t poisonous

And clues you in on some helpful camping knowledge

So you’re none the wiser when you feel a sharp pain in the back of your head 

 Waking bleary-eyed to the tight hold of a bloody rope around you 

The sun has long since set and all you can gather is that you're tied to a tree 

You hesitate to call for the girl only for somebody’s nails to dig into your scalp

It's her and she looks deranged covered in dirt and blood (it doesn’t look like it's hers)

Being sure to throw rocks and kick at you for emphasis she explains how she already knows the major twist of this hunt

They own the town 

No help would have been given if you had arrived there

Or even to the airport 

So she says she’s going to stand her ground to entrap them the second they come for the bait

And the bait just so happens to be you

When you ask her why it’s because she hates your pity

“At least when they kick me in the dirt they have the decency to know I belong there!”

She sounds demented 

But determined

So much so you’re sure if this was a movie she’d be the 'final girl'

But you’re here so that’s not happening

Hearing sticks snap and bushes shake you’re sure they’re on the way

So you shut your eyes in fear

Saying your final prayers as you feel the heat of another person stalking up to you

“How disappointing I expected you to get farther.”

It sounds like something he’d say before lobbing off your head

So you prepare for the oncoming blow 

Only to hear a shotgun fire off 

‘Piggie’ screams

So you look up to see Wille grinning madly in that direction before turning back to you 

He holds your face gently but firmly

Turning your head as he examines you 

“She really did a number on you.” 

He sighs snapping his fingers 

An unknown masked person cuts through the ropes 

Holding you on their back and securing the back of your knees

“Take them back to my room and patch them up I’ll gladly delight in my prize once I’ve finished.”

Wille takes off in a giddy sprint as he watches another masked servant drive off in a quad bike with you on the back

Now that the only real stake in this hunt is out he can really let loose

He’s been doing this for a long while

Enticing the masses at whatever new college or preparatory school he could 

Providing a plentiful harvest for his family 

And it’s great for a while but unfortunately, he just hasn’t found what’s missing 

His mother and father have each other and their pets respectively

His brother does as well

And then his sister…well she enjoys just hunting

But he was never like her

He took care of his appearance more, grew his hair long, and wasn’t pretending to be an apathetic prick

Though he could see how easy it was to become that way

He hates how forward people are when they want something from him or his family

He does admire the tenacity of the poor

But among the fellow rich? 

Absolutely unforgivable

He can only imagine the terrified faces he stalks being that of those hated elites

And of course, in the midst of a mission to harvest is when he becomes aware of you

It’s not really any one thing you do 

You just happen to exist close enough to his latest harvest grounds

It’s not your college but something of a rival school

And all it takes is one mutual and he’s whipped

Suddenly he’s decided that you're the perfect one for him

The prize  that’s greater than anything he could buy

To be Continued

[instaspacenoodles]

✧₊⊹𝐏𝐫𝐞-𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐉𝐢𝐲𝐚𝐧

Have I recover from Jiyan brain rot? Nope. So here’s more of my fluffy headcanons in honor of raising him to lvl 70.

Jiyan has been career-oriented since childhood, all due his family’s background as medical professionals. He was the type to focus on studying and mastering his medical skills rather than dabble in schoolyard crushes. His family had high expectations for him after all and he didn’t want to disappoint them. If it meant turning down his peers’ invitation to gather herbs or burying his noses in thick books then he’ll do it.

Jiyan can be kinda oblivious to people having a crush on him because of his lack of experience. Romance was so far off his radar that he wouldn’t know if it hit him in the head. The thought doesn’t even cross his mind that someone actually likes likes him. Subtle flirting would definitely go over this man's head no matter how hard you tried to drop hints. Like you leaving him chocolate? It was just a friendly gesture. You complimenting him on his looks? Perfectly normal for people to express their opinions on appearances.

Jiyan would think that your weird behavior around him was just out of shyness, awkwardness or even fear. You’re so outgoing with everyone else, but you’re so quiet with him. He has no idea why you have such a drastic shift in personality. Was it because of his title and status of general? Is it because he’s serious the majority of the time? He understands that he looks a bit intimidating, but tries to be approachable to not make you uncomfortable. Man is just utterly clueless that his attractiveness is the reason you’re going crazy.

Jiyan is the embodiment of “you fell first, he fell harder.” It might take a little time and external forces, but once it clicks that you have a crush on him — let’s just say he’s sent into a whole dilemma. Man is rethinking every interaction you had with him. All the chocolate, the compliments, how flustered you get when he approaches you - how didn’t he see this before? His eyes have been open and now he can’t help but study every gesture you make. The way your smile makes his stomach swirl, the way your laugh was such a pleasant sound to listen to, and the way being close to you made him feel nervous. Ah, maybe he might like you too.

Jiyan was held back by two things though. His lack of experience in the romance department and his fear of getting too close to people. He already lost so many people that were close to him, so many people that he failed to protect when it mattered most. The doubts festered in his mind endlessly and haunted him everyday. What if you got hurt? What if he failed to be there to protect you? What would he do if he couldn’t save you? He can’t shake those thoughts, yet he knew that he would regret missing this chance more than anything else. He would just have to try his hardest to make sure that nothing harms a hair on your pretty little head.

Jiyan would definitely go into research mode to try to understand what’s the right way to romance you. He would want to sweep you off your feet in a sweet gesture that expresses his feelings. He would even ask his mother for advice on courting you because she knows best. Jiyan would definitely try the secret admirer route - it would be the perfect way to return the favor of all the gifts you gave him while also making his feelings clear. He’s thoughtful in his gifts and if he hears you want something specific, you’re damn sure it will appear the next day. Meanwhile, he would even try to subtly flirt back when you two were together even if the attempts are a bit clumsy or make him feel a little flustered.

Jiyan would do a cute reveal, inviting you to meet your “admirer” at the cliff overlooking the base. The stars were twinkling in the sky and the calm quiet of the night would make the perfect atmosphere. He would be awkward, but sincere when confessing his feelings for you. He awaited your response in baited breath and respond you did. Jiyan was honestly expecting a flustered yes or no from you — not the way your face brightened in happiness and your arms were suddenly around his neck. The way you readily agreed to his confession with that beautiful smile of yours, core memory right there! He blinks a couple times in surprise before smiling down at you with a light flush to his cheeks.

Bonus!! Later, you would definitely 100% tease him about his obliviousness for the past few months. The pain and agony of your flirting attempts meeting a cold, stone wall. Jiyan, in turn, would recount all the times you could barely function around him and relish in the way you sputter over your words.

[guiltyasdave]

no one has to know what we do

chapter 2 • series masterlist

pairing: Dave York x f!reader

summary: Try as you might, Dave and you can’t stay away from each other.

word count: 4.4k

tags/warnings: explicit smut -> 18+ mdni, dbf!Dave, unhealthy relationship dynamics, dom/sub dynamics, angst, daddy issues (reader’s dad sucks), able-bodied reader, reader has hair that Dave pulls, no use of y/n, divorced Dave, unprotected p in v, fingering, rough sex, dirty talk, praise kink, spanking, sooooo many pussy slaps (don’t look at us), pet names, let me know if anything is missing!

a/n: co-written with my love @joelscurls, who unfortunately couldn’t write this entire chapter the way we had originally planned, so you’re stuck with me again. if you notice that some parts are better written than others, those are most likely hers haha <3 this is lowkey my favorite thing that i’ve ever put out, and i hope you like it as much as i do 🤍

follow @joelscurlsupdates and @guiltyasdavenotifs for updates and find jess’s masterlist here and my masterlist here :)

dividers by the lovely @saradika-graphics 🤍

The phone feels like a paperweight in your hand. It’s late — you should be sleeping, but you know it’s useless to even attempt shutting your eyes. It’s too loud in your head right now — that promise of just one time blaring: a warning. Still, you can’t help but consider ignoring it, texting David and begging to see him again.

It’s probably a bit pathetic, yearning for a man who made it clear he wanted nothing to do with you beyond a one night stand. Daydreaming about the timbre of his voice, the stretch of his cock. Getting his phone number from your father, who’s none the wiser. Your father, who is asleep in his own room just down the hall. Being home for the summer has never felt like such a burden.

Guilt eats at you as your fingers hover over the screen, David’s contact front and center. It would be so easy to send him a text right now, let him know you’re thinking about him. About the other night. But your conscience reins you in. Your father’s face flashes behind your eyes — rage and disappointment painting his features scarlet, and you drop the phone beside you on the mattress with a huff.

It’s difficult to even imagine the inevitable severity of his reaction if he ever found out. He’d probably cut you off, the revelation of you whoring around with his friend — and the possibility of this news getting out, tarnishing your family’s pure reputation — more than enough for him to disown you.

You hate him sometimes. Hate the life he’s forced onto you. You’re not even interested in studying law — not really. You never had a choice, though. It was determined before you even graduated high school that you’d follow in your dad’s footsteps. And as long as he’s funding your studies, your future, you have no right to complain. This is the life you should want. The life everyone wants. He reminds you of that fact regularly. Him, and his countless snooty club buddies.

But David — David is refreshing.

He doesn’t come from old money. He doesn’t pinch your cheeks and talk around you rather than to you, declarations of you must be so proud aimed at your father as you stand awkwardly to the side. You’re pretty sure he’s the first person outside of your professors to really look at you, take interest in anything you have to say in… god knows how long.

You can still feel his eyes boring into you. The subtle but tactful brush of his leg against yours under the table. The exhilaration that had thrummed in your veins. He’d made you feel something. You’d almost forgotten you could feel anything apart from stress and agitation. And as you lay in bed, mind swimming with arousal and impending remorse, you fear you may not be able to control yourself much longer, consequences be damned.

He’s not expecting you to reach out.

Why would you? You’d mutually agreed on that night in his car being a one time thing — just a hookup; something he would’ve done before meeting Carol. Something he should probably be doing more often now. Except you’ve somehow sunk your teeth in him, injected him with a sort of venom.

Because all he can think about is seeing you again.

It’s wrong — beyond wrong. You’re so young; still in college, for christ sake. He never met you before the other night, but he’d been stationed overseas with your father when your mother was pregnant with you. He still remembers reading the letters she’d sent in care packages over his shoulder, the ones detailing her symptoms, what foods she was craving.

Strawberries. She always wanted strawberries. Maybe that’s why you’re so sweet.

He’s never been with a woman like you; never had someone trust him with so much vigor. Your needy little pleas, your vehement obedience, your desperation to take all of him in the driver’s seat of his car — you are nothing short of intoxicating.

Still, he tells himself you’re off limits. Trudges through the days that follow with the thought of you bouncing in his lap fogging his head. Struggles to focus at work and recovers in an increasingly poor manner when called on in meetings.

And then, late on a Friday night, you text him.

He only knows it’s you because you tell him so — your full name flashing across the screen followed by an apology for messaging him so late. You say you’re out with friends, and he’d probably have guessed anyway by the typos littering your sentences.

Seconds after the first, another text comes through:

[1:23am] csnt stop thinking about u. pls see me again i promise i won’t twll anyone

Fuck. Fuck.

His muscles tense; his cock twitches in his boxers. And before he does something stupid, like responds, he sets the phone face down on his bedside table. Stalks off to the bathroom with the intention of taking an icy-cold shower, detoxing himself best he can.

He hasn’t even closed the door yet when he hears it ring.

The rhythmic jingle drones through his studio apartment, and he all but leaps at the noise. Sure enough, it's you, calling him drunk in the middle of the night.

His head swims. He presses ‘answer’ anyway.

“David?” Your voice sounds so sugary-sweet, cloying with innocence. He can hear people in the background, maybe your friends, talking about getting another round of drinks.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” he asks first. You tell him yes; say you're waiting on a rideshare.

He exhales. And even though hearing you is making him dizzy with a fucked up sort of desire, echoes of your pleasured sounds ringing in his ears, he manages to maintain composure when you say, “can I please come over?”

“Don't think that's the best idea,” he mutters. The lack of conviction in his words would likely be painfully obvious if you weren't intoxicated. But you are, and you whine through the receiver at his rejection.

Dave fights to ignore the increasing stiffness in his boxers.

“Please,” you beg. Fuck, he loves the way you sound when you beg. “I just got off the phone with my dad…he doesn't want me coming home so drunk; said he's working on a case and I’ll be a nuisance.”

His heart breaks for you. For the girl who just wants a father who loves her, who sees her as a person with feelings. Dave can't imagine ever treating his daughters this way. Would never dream of it.

“C-can I?” your voice sounds through the speaker again — softer, less sure. Like you've prepared yourself already for the blow of him rejecting you too.

“Can't– can’t you stay with one of your friends?”

You sigh, defeated. “I want to stay with you.”

It’s not that he doesn’t want to. God, it would be so easy to say yes. To go and pick you up from the bar himself, bring you back to his place. Help you sober up a bit and fuck you until you can't take it anymore. But he can’t; he shouldn't even be speaking to you right now. He needs to cut this off. Needs to make it clear to you that you can't reach out to him again.

“You– we can’t.” He’s stern, direct. It pains him. “The other night shouldn’t have happened.” True, though he doesn’t regret it. Not one bit.

You’re quiet on the other end of the line for a second too long. When you finally do speak again, your voice breaks.

“You don’t like me?”

He’s going to tell you that of course that’s not it, that he’s been thinking about you constantly, that he wishes he could get you out of his fucking head. But he doesn’t get the chance. Because your friends are laughing boisterously around you, then, sounds growing more and more muffled through the speaker, and you’re telling him rather unceremoniously that you have to go.

The call disconnects with a beep.

You wake the following morning with a dizzying headache, daylight burning a hole between your eyes. With your friend still soundly asleep, you slip out of her room and then her apartment; find yourself home just as your father is getting ready to leave for work.

His travel mug sits on the entrance table as he pulls his shoes on, and you're immediately met with the smells of coffee and his leathery cologne.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” he mutters as he grabs his briefcase. You don't dare look him in the eyes, lest you be met with their disapproving stare.

“Hi,” you reply, small and non confrontational. When he doesn't answer, you continue past him, begin your ascent up the stairs toward your room.

“Not very appropriate for a young professional, going out and getting wasted. Your future employer could've been there. Could've seen you acting like an imbecile.”

Annoyance furls behind your temples; makes the pounding in your head grow tenfold.

“Well then they probably won't be my future employer,” you snip.

“Probably not.”

You hear the front door close behind you and, with an agitated sigh, drag your feet the rest of the way up the stairs. You fall onto the covers of your bed, well aware that you should probably shower, but your body feels too heavy, in no way ready to move again just yet.

When you pull out your phone, ready for some mindless scrolling to numb your thoughts for a while, you’re met with a notification that sends your heart racing.

Have fun last night?

From David, sent five minutes ago.

You hastily scroll up, reading your own texts from last night, full of typos and barely coherent. csnt stop thinking about u. Your head falls back with a groan. You had gone out to forget about him, not to drunkenly confess your feelings to him in the middle of the night.

Now that you’re thinking about it, you also vaguely recall speaking to him. You tap on your call log and sure enough, there’s his name, only minutes after you texted him. You have no idea what you might have said to him, only a blurry memory of being upset about something. Great, this is great.

Sighing deeply, you go back to messages.

i was very drunk. sorry for bothering you

His reply comes almost instantly.

Who said you bothered me?

You’ve only met him once, and yet you can picture his smirk as if you’ve seen it a thousand times.

Dave is sipping his coffee, black, no sugar, and listens to Jim going over his plans for the both of them going golfing next weekend, humming occasionally.

It pains him, looking at the man in front of him, while your voice from last night is still ringing through his head. How hurt you sounded, looking for a place to stay, not being welcome in your own home.

When Jim stands up to leave for work, he remains seated, gesturing towards his half eaten bagel, but assuring the other man that he doesn’t have to wait for him.

You still haven’t left his thoughts. If anything, the longing he feels for you has gotten worse since you told him how much you want to see him again. And he’s so tired of denying himself the one thing he really wants.

He’s patient, chipping away at the bagel until he sees your father’s gray Dodge peel out of the parking lot. And then he gives it another 10 minutes, just to be safe.

Come join me for coffee? I’m downtown at Roasted Beans.

You respond moments later — such an obedient little thing, you are — letting him know you’ll be there shortly. He finishes off his drink, discards the cup along with the bagel wrapper, and orders two fresh coffees.

He sees you before you see him. Eyes wide, lips parted ever so slightly, you look so cute as you scan the cafe. You’re wearing a sundress, the blue fabric dancing around your thighs with every turn of your body, and Dave finds himself entranced by you.

You smile when you finally catch sight of him, your entire face lighting up and he smiles back without a second thought.

You shouldn’t meet him again. You really, really shouldn’t. But the conversation with your father this morning keeps replaying in your head, the disapproval weighing heavy on you, the feeling of being unable to do anything right.

You long for someone to look at you without judgment, for the sound of good girl against your skin. You long for David.

After last night and the fact that he obviously didn’t invite you over, you had thought that for him, maybe it really had been a just one time thing. Like you both had agreed on multiple times.

But then he’d texted you again, asking you to meet him. It’s almost embarrassing, how quickly you got ready, eager to see him again, despite knowing better.

On the drive over, you run through countless discussions in your head, trying to decide what you’re going to say to him. You have to be reasonable. There’s too much at stake. David is a mistake that you wouldn’t be able to come back from. You’re just going to meet him because he asked you to, because that’s the nice thing to do. It’ll just be coffee, nothing more.

Your resolve crumbles as soon as you see him. His eyes are already on you, their expression so full of want that it makes you ache. You walk over, feigning confidence as you slide onto the chair next to his, a quiet greeting on your lips. The deep, smooth sound of his voice when he returns it is enough to make you melt.

He has already ordered for you. It’s a small thing, rationally, but it’s once again more care, more attention than you’re used to. Warmth is spreading through your chest, but you try steeling yourself, forcing out the words that you’ve prepared to say.

“Listen, I want to apologize about last night. I shouldn’t have– I wasn’t thinking straight, I’m sorry for bothering–”

“Hey, sweetheart.” He interrupts your nervous stuttering, his hand gently wrapping around yours on the table. “I already told you that you didn’t bother me. If anything–” He sighs, his grip tightening. “I’m the one who’s sorry, you were looking for somewhere to stay, I shouldn’t have turned you down like that.”

It breaks Dave’s heart, seeing how you’re making yourself smaller, how ready you seem for him to scold you. Your quiet You don’t like me? still echoes in his mind. How your own father didn’t care where his daughter spent the night, as long as she didn’t come home. Didn’t bother him.

He clocked the way your eyes widened in surprise at the coffee that he got you, how you huff a relieved breath when he assures you again that he’s not annoyed with you. You’re so sweet, so deserving of being loved and cared for, and he so desperately wants to be the person who does that for you.

He felt the same pull from that night towards you as soon as he laid eyes on you again, and it’s only gotten worse, now that you’re right next to him, now that he’s touching the soft surface of your hand. He vividly remembers how your skin felt under his fingertips, how you writhed against him.

The urge to get just a taste of that again becomes overwhelming. He holds your gaze as his fingers start gliding over your thighs under the table, inching towards the hem of your dress. Your lips part, the softest whimper escaping your throat at his touch.

He shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t be touching you like this, shouldn’t be thinking about you like this. Can’t stop thinking about you. I want to stay with you. How is he supposed to keep away, to stop himself, when you come to him so willingly, so desperate to be wanted?

“David?” Fuck, he loves that you call him that. “Will you take me home with you? Please?”

He can tell that you’re scared to ask, bracing yourself to be rejected again. He’s not nearly as strong as you think he is.

“Yes. Come on.”

He pulls you to your feet and out of the door before either of you have the chance to change your minds.

He’s a bad man, shouldn’t be getting off on having total control over you like this. He’s probably sick; should see that shrink Carol recommended a couple months ago after the divorce was officially finalized. But the way you’re looking at him — with the same big-eyed, doleful stare you’d given him that first night — tells him you want this. Need this, even. You long to relinquish control to someone other than your hawkish father.

So pliant in his lap, limbs all gooey and relaxed under his touch, it’s clear that you trust him. Maybe more than he trusts himself.

You’re spread out on his couch, clothes hastily discarded as soon as the both of you stumbled over the threshold, already entangled in each other. He’s led you to the living room, the thought of fucking you in his bed, of your presence lingering there, your scent permeating his sheets, the last invisible line that he’s determined not to cross.

He has been toying with your body, collected your wrists in a hold over your head and told you to keep them there while he flicked and tugged on your nipples, sucked marks into your skin while you writhed underneath him.

He’s taking it slow, now that you’re here with him, now that he has the time to thoroughly break you down and put you back together again.

You’re already soaked when he sinks a finger into you, your tight walls clenching around him immediately. You coo up at him — a needy little noise that has his resolve disintegrating in seconds flat — and you look relieved when his hand loosely wraps around your throat.

“Please,” you whisper then, and he tuts.

“You want me to take care of you?”

You nod.

“Then you take what I give you. No begging. Do I make myself clear?”

Another noise — this one smaller, stuck in your throat — and he’s pulling his finger out of you again, lips curling into a cruel smile.

He doesn’t give you any time to prepare before the first slap lands on your already-throbbing clit. You can’t help but shriek. In response, he tightens the grip on your throat slightly. Gives three more stinging smacks in quick succession. Dave almost doesn’t notice when your eyes begin to roll back. He does notice, however, when your hips begin to roll upward, your body chasing his hand.

“Oh, such a good girl you are,” he praises.

Slap.

“You love this, don’t you?”

“Mhm,” you moan, garbled and a little breathless.

Slap.

“Pathetic little girl. Bet you could come just from this, you’re so desperate. Couldn’t you?”

You gasp.

Slap.

“Answer me,” Dave demands. “Or I’ll stop.”

It’s almost comical how quickly you sputter the word yes, eyes desperately pleading with him to keep going. And he’s almost shocked just how badly you needed this. In this moment, any guilt he’d been feeling is replaced with the desperate desire to give you exactly what you crave.

He slaps you again, a little harder this time, and you wail. Your legs are trembling, but you make no move to close them, keeping yourself spread wide open and accessible for him.

He’s throbbing, fighting the urge to sink his cock into your tight heat, but he wants, needs to know how far he can push you. How far you’ll go for him.

You’re dripping onto his cushions and he collects some of your slick with his fingers, rubs them against your clit. Your skin is burning under his fingertips. He teases the oversensitive nub with gentle touches, relishes in the way your eyes are glued to his face, the way your lips are trembling as you’re silently pleading with him.

No words are escaping you, and you’re so good, making him so proud with how you’re following his commands.

He slaps your clit again, and again, and again, until you’re a babbling mess, your throat constricting against his grip and your back arching as you come with a cry. Wetness floods out of you and you’re shuddering in his hold, broken whimpers of his name falling from your lips.

He watches with sick fascination, almost unable to believe that he drove you to this point. How much you enjoy being treated like this. That you’re just as twisted as he is.

When you come down, your arms weakly reach for him and he scoops you up, pulls you into his lap until your face is nuzzled into his neck.

“Good girl,” he coos, gently stroking your hair, “you did so good.”

He gives you a few moments to rest, tracing shapes across your back, until his fingers dip deeper, gliding over your ass and between your spread legs, where you’re still so fucking wet.

You squirm under his touch, needy little sounds traveling up to his ears once more. “Please,” you whisper.

One hand grabs into your hair, pulling your head back until he can see your face. You look wrecked. Pupils blown wide, your eyes wet with tears, but what really gets him is the way you look at him. He had worried, for a second, that he might have been too rough, but there’s only pure trust and longing in your eyes.

“I thought I told you no begging.”

You bite your lip, furrow your brow in that adorable way of yours. “I’m sorry. It just– it all feels so good.”

He presses his thumb down on your bottom lip, releasing it from your teeth.

“I know it does, sweetheart. You need more?”

You nod quietly, your eyes wide and pleading.

“Alright then.” He turns you over so quickly that you gasp, scrambling for a second to get your bearings. You’re on all fours, your legs still spread, your ass on display for him.

He had wanted to prepare you a little more, to give you several of his fingers first before he stretches you out on his cock, but he can’t possibly hold back any longer. Judging from the loud moan that you let out, he thinks that you like the sting of him sinking into you unprepared.

It’s even better than he remembers, your slick walls engulfing him so tightly. He starts pounding into you, the depth of his thrusts jolting your body forward and forcing more sounds from you.

He wants you to still feel him tomorrow, wants you to remember him, wants to stake a claim that he knows he doesn’t have. He groans your name, his fingers digging into your hips, greedy for every part of you that he can reach.

Perfect, you’re so fucking perfect, giving yourself to him like this.

“Come on,” he growls, reaching down to find your clit again, rubbing in tight circles. “Give me another one.”

You cry out, pushing back against him. So fucking eager. He lands two quick slaps on your ass and you fall apart, trembling wildly as your walls pulse around him and you scream out his name.

He can’t hold himself back any more and follows you over the edge, pumping into you once more and holding your hips pressed against his.

You both collapse down onto his couch, a mess of tangled, sweaty limbs and quick breaths. You curl your body into his and he presses kisses against your cheeks, your temples, your lips.

Slowly, as he’s coming back to his senses, the guilt settles in.

He lets go of you much too quickly, stands up and starts getting dressed quietly. You watch him for a moment, wracking your mind for something to say, before he looks at you.

“Get dressed. I’ll drive you home.”

He sounds cold, distant. So different from the man who just took you to heights that you didn’t know existed until now. You suppress a shiver and get up hastily. Suddenly, being naked around him feels much too exposed, too vulnerable for your liking.

You pull your dress over your head and slide your shoes back on, but one crucial item is missing.

“Did– did you see my underwear?” you force yourself to ask. He shakes his head, not gracing you with a verbal answer.

Eventually, you give up the search and follow him down the stairs and into his car. The silence grows, until its weight is pressing down, almost suffocating you. You steal glances at him, but his eyes are fixed on the road, staring straight ahead, never wavering. A muscle in his jaw is ticking.

The mix of his spend and yours is pooling between your legs, but it makes you feel dirty now. You force down the lump that’s building in your throat.

When he stops in front of your house, you scramble out of the car without a word. You don’t know what would be worse, if he said goodbye like nothing was wrong or if he remained silent. You don’t want to find out.

It’s late in the evening, you’re lying on your bed, eyelids squeezed shut, willing sleep to finally overtake you. Thoughts keep spiraling through your head, so many questions that you have no answers to.

He asked you to meet up, for fuck’s sake. You don’t understand why he’s treating you like this, but you’re determined to not let it happen again. Just two times, you think with a bitter scoff.

Your phone vibrates on your bedside table, indicating a new message.

[11:55pm] I can’t stop thinking about you either.

Attached is a photo. A photo of a familiar lacy scrap of fabric, grasped in his hand and covered in milky white cum.

It’s filthy, and wrong, and you feel yourself getting obscenely wet at the thought of him touching himself with your missing panties clutched between his fingers.

Maybe just one more time.

thank you for reading 🤍 if you liked this, please consider reblogging, leaving a comment or sending an ask, it truly makes my day every single time!

[katerinaaqu]

I’m nodding along with your posts cause the thunder saga ending just didn’t sit well with me at all. I feel like once again Odysseus is being characterized as a villain and a totally ruthless, selfish person when that’s just NOT who he is in the Homeric myths. I really enjoyed the start of the musical and I admire Jay’s talent for making music. But it’s missing Odysseus’ character by a long shot and it’s missing the heart of the Odyssey

It wouldn't be the first time. Many post-homeric sources depicted Odysseus as an amoral bastard who would sell anything and anyone to achieve his goals. For instance post-homeric sources have HIM instead of the will of the gods be the one to orchestrate the sacrifice of Iphigenia and leading her to the altar.

Unfortunately Odysseus seems like free game to be turned into the villain of the story since antiquity. And that is because his methods were going against what ancient Greeks considered honorable (aka direct fight) so they strifed to use Odysseus as an example of what one shouldn't be doing plus many who created anti-war plays like Eurypedes wanted Odysseus as the symbol of anything going under the table in a war. Basically the shady aspects of war. In a way it made sense in antiquity even if it was overplayed.

Romans were also divided but many depicted Odysseus as the absolute villain because he is the taker of Troy. The ancient Roman progenitor is Aeneas who runs away from Troy after the massacre. In a way Odysseus is portrayed as the villain by the romans because he took their mythological ancestral city.

However indeed what bothers me is that this musical was not supposed to be some rewrite of Odysseus's persona. It was supposed to be an adaptation from HOMER'S Odyssey and homeric Odysseus is in my opinion the most solid Odysseus. He is not a goodie guy of course. He has tons of flaws and he made many gray decisions but he was still the hero. Not the lowkey villain. He was incredibly loyal to his friends and crew and didn't abandon them before any danger.

The Musical I think ruined his potential. Not just the thunder saga but almost everything from the end of Storm till now. Odysseus does not speak his name to Polyphemus out of his fatigue anger and insult after a week of seclusion and torture. He speaks it out of spite because he just lost his friend (that same friend that was killed off for the sakes of dramatics given that Polites is mentioned only once in the homeric poems and that is on Circe's island), he doesn't sell himself to Circe to save his men apparently no price needed to be paid. He didn't remain a slave for one year close to her. He doesn't get strikes by guilt by ACTUALLY talking to his mother in the underworld or by fear by talking to Achilles or by doubt by talking to Agamemnon. He gets zero definitive answers from Tiresias. He gets no advice from Circe he gets not his experience with Sirens. He didn't gear up to protec his men from Skylla even if Circe told him not to because she was immortal and there would be no point...

Why would anyone claim that they make an adaptation if they do not follow literally anything from the plot?

I absolutely agree. I got my hopes way too high at Troy saga because I loved the way he actually used the Iliou Persis half-saved phrase and turned it into an amazing dilemma. Those first songs were amazing and spoke volumes for the characters. However the more we move in the more disappointed I get.

Yes I still feel happy that a fellow artist shows such passion over music and how he started everything by himself and all but now I feel like he just seeks to change everything from the original and I fail to see why...why must this potential masterpiece be turned into yet another "loosely based on" thing like every typical mainstream Hollywood film? I think my expectation at first increased my disappointment now.

Quite frankly I got a glimpse of Calypso too and they seem they want to turn the story of the poor man practically being raped for 7 years and held prisoner into a bubbly romcom...seriously no...

[cigarettesaftersae]

Homesick 04 - Bewitched

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Series: sae x f!reader | childhoodlovers!au

Stuck in a small town near the coast with a previous crush on a boy who returns after years

Sae's hands land on the handle of the door leading inside Maria’s Cafe. To the left was two young ladies sipping hot brewing coffee, to the far right of the corner was another lady expect older with a book in her two hands and a mug of hot coffee cooling off by her side, then to his front, he saw your back, your color hair, the apron wrapped around your waist from the back and hearing; the sound of your voice. He guessed you and Maria were deep into conversion, To his amuse, they didn’t seem to notice him yet.

“I wondered if you knew anything about Itoshi Sae, you know um, red hair, teal eyes, very long under eye lashes. I’m kinda jealous of them.”

She chuckles with her back facing you, making a small cup of coffee for the waiting customers.

“Is this for research or something else?”

“Something like that”

Was she another fan? How annoying

”He’s a beautiful young man, yet I do pity him. His whole life has been revolved around soccer. I fear it gets the worse of him.”

He couldn’t disagree with Maria; soccer has been the one and only thing he ever truly revolved around. Besides his younger brother, it has truly been soccer that kidnapped and trapped him to where he is now: shaping his manners and resulting the outcome of his relationships.

“So…is he like special or something?” With a gentle tone, you asked

No, he really wasn’t special. Just there, gifted with talents like no other.

“Looks like someone doesn’t pay attention to the news and gossips.” Maria spoke

The gentle tone you carried tend to become gentler, so gentle, he couldn’t hear you anymore. Your voices and Maria’s muffled out.

“Hah, I don’t really like those much despite..——”

Despite what exactly?

“—being a journalist” you breathe out

A journalist? Were you slowly building a relationship with him for an interview, most people would schedule an appointment with him, follow him around, etc. Did you follow him to the beach? What exactly are your plans towards him? Are you simply a fan? A nosy journalist, butting their nose where it doesn’t belong? For a moment, he found a small inch of interest outside of soccer towards you. He was curious, what were your intentions? He knows he shouldn’t care; he knows he’s busy, but just an inch isn’t so bad.

—

How did you get here again? Another day working with Sae as Maria rests at home, though you were slightly annoyed by his way of work. He just worked in the back, no help even if the front may get busy which wasn’t— for now. But you can understand his reason why; if he works in the front, people may recognize him for being The Sae Itoshi, Japan’s prodigy. You just simply couldn’t stand him, his demeanor, manners, and long dumb eyelashes.

You slip out your phone since it wasn’t too busy, searching up Sae Itoshi. Watching a match where he scored marvelous goals that seemed extremely impossible, all without a sweat. You could notice he avoided the camera, strayed interest apart from his teammates— “What are you doing?” Sae’s melancholy voice interrupted you, quickly and embarrassingly turn off your phone- slamming it on the table hoping it didn’t break. “Nothing, just passing time..”

“There’s a customer.” He said plainly

You turned around, slightly surprised and disappointed in yourself. You sighed, how could you let yourself get distracted so stupidly. “I apologize—”

Before you could finish that sentence, Sae had taken care of the order, an iced coffee. He stared at you, waiting for you to make the cup of coffee. Looks like the roles had been switched, with you in the back and him in the front.

You head to the back making a cup of coffee, as you stepped out to hand the customer his order but you wished you had just kept Sae in the back. A group of young high school girls gathered around the front leaning in to get a better glimpse of Sae’s perfect and flawless features.

“Um Could we get a picture together?” One of the girls begged

“No” Sae didn’t even bother to look at them, he stared down at the register just hoping they go away and forget this ever happened. What do you do—? You panicked, the iced coffee you had just made now had been poured all over Sae. The empty coffee cup slipped out of your hands and onto the ground. You blinked, looking at the droplets be slowly pulled by gravity from Sae’s hair, neck and bare arms. “U-uh— I’m so sorry…” At least you’re both even now, only it was iced coffee so he didn’t suffer the burn...lucky.

“You’re alright, take care of them” Sae walked away from register and disappeared into the back.

The group of girls walked away after Sae left as well. You waited for Sae to clean himself up into a new attire, luckily the cafe had shirts just packed away into a box. Maybe you should apologize again, more formally. Heading into the back, you find Sae who recently changed clothes.

“I want to apologize again…It looked like the only solution beside you weren’t doing anything much to shoo them off. Does this usually happen?” Your voice treaded near the end, almost anxious to pronounce the first syllabus of your question

“Yeah” he answered like it was just a casual interaction, popularity is a thief to your own skin.

“Well if it makes you feel any better, we do close early today since it’s a Wednesday.”

“I already know that.”

Should’ve known trying to cheer up someone as aloof as him wouldn’t entirely work. Can’t say you didn’t try.

The day had gone by with a quick breath, you worked with cups of coffee accompanied by the red hair boy as the sun laid lower each clicking hour. Golden sunshine glittering this side of the world to a dark sky and a bright moon up alone dancing along with the stars. You sleep, wake up, eat, and repeat till time arrives to you with Saturday. You appreciated that the cafe closed every Saturdays, even with closing days you still visit Maria. Stepping on her wooden old porch as she welcomed you inside her home’s warm air. Her house contained of a sweet old smell with bright, cozy, vintage furniture surrounding you despite everything here being slightly new to you it was more nostalgic than new. Dancing down the stairs to the halls to the kitchen that lingered the smell of fresh baked cookies that your mama would make be painted sweetly in your head for a little bit. Thinking of that memory felt like taking a bite of red-velvet cake that freshened with cream cheese around it. Maria granted those memories to light for you.

“Thank you so much for the tea Maria” You thanked with a sweet smile

“Oh your welcome dear. I do apologize for disappearing for a few days, the old age is catching up to me quicker than I thought it would”

“Oh no it’s all right, I’m just glad you could rest. And uh…I came here to visit but I saw all the leaves that were unraked. If you don’t mind, I could help you clean them up”

“I can’t ask you to do that much for me, you already token care of me dearly sweet pea”

“It would cure my boredom”

“Raking leaves?”

“Yes.”

-

You can start to feel a bit tired now, and you’re not even half way finished. Autumn has structed it’s most powerful storm of leaves right at the house of a old lady, how boo boo butt Autumn is. The rums of a vehicle arrived, it looked almost…familiar— It’s Sae’s car. The classy black engine and extremely tinted windows, it’s Sae Itoshi. He parked into the driveway, stepping out of the car he seemed even elegant while doing that. He walked up to you just staring at you like you were a dumb snail on the sidewalk.

“Um..hi?” You awkwardly welcome

His hand reaches out to you, almost flinching just to find a colored leaf that seemed to be collected from the top of your head then into the fingerprints of his.

“You had a leaf on your head, you looked stupid.”

“Well, I’m raking leaves, there’s leaves everywhere. It’d be uncommon to not find one my head”

“And you looked stupid,”

“I—” You couldn’t even come up with anything to say and even if you had something to say he had already started walking away to Maria’s house.

“asshole..” you mumble to yourself before getting back to raking the leaves. Piling all the colorful leaves into one area and into a bag for trash. Despite this long full job of raking leaves, you still found deep enjoyment for it. The crunch crisp sound once you stepped on it, or the windy air passing by, or the pumpkin spice lattes selling out, or maybe,

maybe its just Autumn itself, you admired the season of change always since the start you laid eyes on a red maple leaf, running to your mama, showing her the wonderful patterns of vines on this red maple leaf. Putting up your very first red maple leaf up into picture to remember it as your first love, Autumn.

You look up to the sound of crunched leaves, seeing Sae who seemed to be…helping you out? Or no, helping Maria out

You mind your own business of cleaning up piles and piles and piles of what seemed, forever, an endless ocean of leaves. You dump the leaves into the bag, this remains as a cycle for about an hour, at least you’re both a quarter finished. Thanks to Sae’s help.

“I’m going to go inside, finish this all up.”

All—

You’ve been doing this from the start, yes you suggested this idea first but there’s a reason why helping is a thing.

“What? That isn’t fair, and we’re almost done lets just finish it up together so it’s quick. I don’t want to be here all day.”

“Not my problem”

Real asshole, He didn’t even bother to listen to your complaining and started walking away. Before he could, you gush the bag of leaves to flood all over Sae. You now just realized what you had done, what if he makes you a maid forever as payback? Or make you eat apple sauce, ew.

“…I’M SO SORRY-”

You squint your eyes for protection when Sae kicks the pile of leaves beneath your foot to your face.

“um…I’m sorry..what are you doing—?” You apologize but Sae walked away, over to the bags piled of leaves and picked it up. Guessing he was going to clean up the rip you made into the bag you held. But that would seem out of character. He would just tell you to clean that up and walk away.

Sae dumps the bag of leaves over your head.

“We’re even now.”

You pouted, he looked ready to just walk away again and let only you clean the mess up. No way, again you grabbed another bag and dump it towards Sae.

“Lukewarm…”

“Lukewarm?”

“Yeah, you’re acting like a child”

“You just did the same thing to me.”

“You started it”

“Maybe if you had heard me out and helped me clean the rest of this mess, I wouldn’t have started anything”

Without a notice, Maria comes up from behind

“Please, please, sweeties why must you bicker?”

“nothing too serious—”

“She made a mess and won’t clean it up”

“Lies, he was going to leave me to do this all alone. It’s unfair Miss Maria, making a woman do all the work alone, do you not stand for woman rights?” You accused of Sae with a bit of playfulness

“Now you’re assuming things—”

“Ah- ah -ah” you cut him off

You heard the chuckle of Maria move through air, you both stopped arguing to look at her with a confused expression and tilted head.

“What’s so funny..?” You mumble with a small pout, you knew this was embarrassing but still fun but now she’s laughing at you? or is it at him? or both of us?

“What?” He asked with a rush tone

“Well.. looked at the mess you two made. Another hour at raking for you two I believe.” She begins to walk away with a soft giggle still leaving her lips

A soft giggle leaves your lips,

“What are you laughing about Octopus?”

“Nothing!…It’s just you have a leaf on your head…you look stupid”

The soft giggle transform into a chuckle then to a party of laughter. You almost didn’t see it since it blended into Sae’s red hair color. It was a red maple leaf.

.

.

.

If you find a leaf on your head in the season of Autumn, it can grant a wish or love.

(yes its a season of blossom manhwa ref)

[npookie0]

Perchance KC characters (whichever ones you feel like writing) x reader that struggles with an eating disorder? feel free to ignore this request, no pressure 🙏 I know eating disorders are a heavy topic so dont force yourself if you’re not comfortable

Angelic healer.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿

Tw:

Eating disorders

High expectations and fear of disappointment

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿

Angel and you started to live together not too long after your first visit to her house, she wanted to keep you close to herself, and you wanted to make sure that she takes a proper care of herself with the amounts of work she has.

Unfortunately after two or three months living together you had to take a plane to France, there was a big ice skating competition being held there and you had to be there. The whole two week stay was extremely stressful for you and wrecked your eating habits. Every time you looked at food you just saw the calories in front of your eyes and you had to keep a good shape if you wanted to place high. It reached to an extend when you refused to eat anything until you were done with training, definitely not perfect conditions for someone who was expected to place first by their fans.

Well, you couldn't exactly call those people your fans, they were the ones who left angry comments about your looks and weight whenever you were streaming from France and were in the middle of eating the long awaited dinner.

Luckily for you, Angel was too busy to see these streams so she wouldn't see just how much these comments affected your mood and eating habits.

Under a lot of pressure, long and exhausting training, you placed first. But that win didn't make you feel happy, it left a bitter taste on your tongue, you couldn't possibly be satisfied with a win that was expected from you.

You thought that your fans' comments would stop after you will return home, but they were even more vicious, you looked through the comments under your new picture with gritted teeth. 'You should loose weight before you enter another competitions', 'they will eat all these chocolates for sure, they're like a pig', 'wow even a pig like them can win'. You threw your phone on the other side of the couch and hugged your knees to your chest. Why can't they be happy for you? You won, you proved yourself! But they're just calling you names... Maybe they're right? Maybe you're just like a pig.

Everything went downhill from there, Angel barely seen you at home, you spent all your time at the ice ring, you didn't eat and when she invited you somewhere to eat you just moved the fork in the food and ate a little bit.

She didn't know how to approach you about it, she did suspect what the problem was and from her own experience she knew how nervous people like that get when they're called out or confronted about it.

"Ronin, what should I do?" Angel asked, she called her best friend Ronin to accompany her on a walk. She was really worried, he saw how empty your eyes started to look and how your arms were thinner and thinner every day.

"Knowing them? Playing around the bush won't help them. We need to find what caused this and I found something interesting." Ronin pulled out his phone and entered your Instagram account, then he opened comments under one of your posts.

Angels clutched her hand into a first when she read the bullshit people wrote about you.

"Fat? Them? I fucking wish that they would eat just as much as the people say." Anger was boiling deep inside her blood. Oh how much she wanted to shoot all of these people who dared to spew such nonsense.

"As much as I love that angry look on your face, MC needs her so amazing and sweet Maria more than Heartsick Angel." The Butcher's voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

"You're right." She sighed and returned Ronin his phone. "I'll go get them from the ice ring." She said and after a short goodbye she went to said place.

After arriving she was leaning on the ice ring's wall, she was looking at you while you were training, her eyes didn't miss the obvious exhaustion and weakness in your body. You were thin and your body couldn't produce energy anymore so you pushing yourself more and more everyday was basically a dead wish. Once you stopped training and you spotted Angel you immediately moved towards her.

"Angel! Why are you here? You never pick me up?" You smiled and tried to kiss her on the cheek but she stopped you "We need to talk MC." Her voice sounded more worried than angry so you didn't fear hearing about her breaking up with you, although a serious conversation didn't sound too pleasant either.

The conversation took you three whole hours, a lot of tears and apologies. But now you could start healing with your girlfriend's help.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿

Headcanons <3

Angel is well aware of how hard changing your eating habits - or rather developing them from the beginning - will be time consuming, but she was in your place once too and she will show you the help and support you need.

Angel made a whole essay on her channel about eating disorders and how "fans" leaving hateful comments can lead to tragedies, she wanted to make people more self aware so maybe there wouldn't be more situations like these.

She doesn't make a big deal out of you eating more, unless you want her to show just how happy it makes her to see you healing that is.

Sometimes when she's extremely anxious about your wight lose she will wrap her arms around your waist while she hugs you to see if you've lost any weight.

She filters and controls the comments people leave under your posts or on your lives so you wouldn't have to read the next flood of hateful words.

Angel whispers praises about how proud she is of you for your accomplishments and everything when you two are about to go to sleep.

When Angel sees that you have a really hard time eating she won't push you to eat everything from your plate, but will encourage you to eat even a little.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿

Hope you feel somewhat satisfied with how I wrote this :") Bye lovelies - N <3

[phoebepheebsphibs]

Overanalyzing Raphael's fear...

Ok here we go again, fourth time's the charm!

Ok so this will be analyzing a fear we saw and the fear we almost saw... on with the show!

We all know that ROTTMNT Raphael has separation anxiety, and when that is aggravated, it results in DID (dissociative identity disorder), and he becomes "Savage Raph". But so long as he was with people he knew and in a place he felt safe, it never got too bad. But that was the show, this is an alternate universe in which Raphael grew up as an only child with a mob boss and gladiator ringmaster as a mother.

...I think that Raph's anxiety would have been immensely worse without the safety of his brothers with him. There's something about having your siblings by your side that is just utterly comforting, and adding the fact that the Hamato clan members have a special power that relies on familial trust is an extra factor! But Raph grew up without that. As a result, his anxieties are worse, his fears innumerable, and when it comes to his separation anxiety, he doesn't just go "savage"... he goes nuclear.

So why was Leo the one to help him? When he doesn't really seem to care that much about the "family" they have, when Mikey would most likely be the one to help with the fear fungus (he's already helped two people!), when he has the knowledge and experience and mystic know-how? Why was Leo the one to come first, to break the trance? Answer: because he's done it before. About midway through the story, the group take a trek through the woods together and start to bond as brothers. They even tell each other special needs they have, such as Mikey's hypoglycemia and ADHD, Leo's insomnia, and Donnie's autism. Raph embarrassingly admits that he has severe separation anxiety, and at times even needs someone to stay with him at night so he can sleep. Mikey volunteers to take that responsibility, but one night when Raphael wakes up, he finds Mikey left him (to answer the call of nature TMI) and starts to panic. He causes a commotion, to which Leo is the one to respond. Leo helps to calm Raphael down, and even stays with him afterwards to help him fall asleep again. So, that's one reason why Leo was the best equipped to help with the fear spores...

...The other reason is kind of obvious, even Leo himself states it in the comic! "I know how scary it is to be alone..." Leo may not have separation anxiety, but his fear of abandonment gives him an understanding of what Raph is going through. Their fears are similar, so they can understand each other best.

Now, on to the deleted scene!

In the alternative scene - which would have been easier and quicker to draw but not quite as angsty - we see Raph argue with Mikey. Mikey scolds Raphael for not being a good brother, for letting everyone down and being a disappointment. Raph has carried expectations for a long while, expectations to be strong, smart, savvy like his mother. Being the adopted son of a business tycoon and mob boss does come with some high standards, even if those standards are simply self-inflicted. Whether or not anyone else thinks that Raph should live up to his mother's and brothers' ideals, he thinks he needs to, and as such struggles with this.

Mikey also mentions how his being in the medbay is not the first time this has happened, and that last time it was Raph's fault. This isn't true, but it is what Raph believes. During the traveling arc - the same one where Leo witnesses Raph's savage separation anxiety - Mikey gives Raphael his food to help him with his hunger, despite knowing that he may not have enough for himself. He lets things go too far, and Mikey starts having his symptoms. Raph feels guilty, and attempts to fix his mistake by getting Mikey some sustenance! Only one problem... they're in the middle of nowhere. Literally the middle of the woods! With nothing to eat for miles! Fortunately, they find a small grove of berries, and Mikey eats to his heart's content! Unfortunately, the grove turns out to be the poisonous "No-No berries", and Mikey soon starts hallucinating and getting ill, even wandering off under the influence and getting himself lost before he passes out. (Don't worry, everything works out in the end!) But anyways, Raphael blames himself for all that happened.

He's the big brother. He's meant to be the responsible one. So why is he always the one screwing things up, being too afraid, too weak. He's afraid that he is not enough. He's afraid of being a disappointment.

[janeway-lover]

part six of the princess/knight abbiel au

The start of the tournament drew closer.

"I'll have to meet him tomorrow," Abby mutters. Uriel’s grip on her hand tightens. "I'm not looking forward to it, either."

"It would not be so bad if we were not so busy. But with all the preparations for all the competitors, I fear I shall not get to see you before the jousting begins."

"I was afraid that would be so. Father insists that I must "get to know Prince Reginald" before the contests begin. As if I am just going to marry the first man he throws at me."

The two just sit in silence for a moment, tucked against one another in a hidden corner of the library.

"Do you think you'll tell the king? About us, I mean."

"I - I do not know," she sighs. "I fear his disappointment."

"If you must marry," Uriel begins, but Abby cuts her off.

"I shan't."

"But if you must," Uriel repeats, "I would understand. I do not expect to come before your crown." Abby looks at them with sadness before pulling them into a hug.

"You mustn't speak of yourself in such a way. I won't allow it."

"Or else you'll cut off my head?"

"Exactly." They both erupt into hushed laughs. "I have something for you."

"Oh?"

"I've been working on it all week," she says as she pulls out an intricately embroidered hankerchief. "So you may have it as a token of my favor for the tournament."

"It's beautiful. Thank you."

"It is hardly my best needlework, but I - I wanted to have it done in time."

"Nonsense, it's wonderful. I am honored to have it."

“Good.” The dim light of the library does little to hide her blush.

“I fear I must be going now. There is still so much that must be done.” Silently, Uriel presses a kiss to her hand, before slipping out the door, leaving Abby sitting alone in the library, her hand held close to her chest.

-

Prince Reginald had arrived to the castle with more fanfare than he’d ever received back home. As the youngest of several sons, he had no chance of seeing the throne, but here was his chance! Imagine, him, hand picked by King Morningstar as a suitor for the Crown Princess!

Sure, he’d heard rumors from his footmen during the trip that the princess was…less than thrilled about the whole thing, but he brushed those off. Servant gossip could not distract him from the fact that he was here, in the famed kingdom of Hell, in an effort to woo the future Queen.

He’d been escorted into a lavish sitting room and told that the princess would be arriving shortly. (He’d also been glared at by the knight outside the door, but he couldn’t imagine why.) Rather than sit and lounge, he explored, admiring everything he could see. Hell was the most flourishing kingdom around, and it showed in the decor. He had just been inspecting the massive mirror above the fireplace when the door had opened.

“Presenting Her Royal Highness, the Crown Princess Abigail.”

“Thank you, Sir Gabriel. That shall be all.” With a nod to her, the knight went back to his post outside the door, but not without a final glare at Reginald. Upon seeing it, the princess shook her head and muttered something he could not hear.

“It is an honor to meet you, your highness,” he said, bowing to her before walking closer. “You are even more beautiful than your portrait in person.”

“You flatter me, sir Prince.” She smiled at him, but she seemed - stiff. “How are you enjoying your time on our kingdom?”

“It is a lovely place, and I find it has only grown lovelier.”

“And your journey here, it went well?”

“The ride was smooth, but even the most harrowing journey would have worth it to arrive at such a destination.” Her smile grows, but doesn’t seem to reach her eyes.

“That is good to hear.” She motions for him to sit, which he does, and takes her own seat in the chair across from him. He finds himself mourning the interior designer’s decision to use chairs rather than couches. “I hear you shall be competing in our tournament tomorrow.”

“Indeed I shall. I hope to make you proud.” Her smile shifts into something closer to a grimace.

“We need not only discuss myself, you know. Tell me about yourself, how do you fill your days back home?”

“Oh, uh, well,” he began. Reginald’s brothers had told him that the princess would surely not want to hear about him, and that if he did wish to court her, he should stick to flattery. “I am rather skilled with a crossbow.”

“Oh, do you hunt?” For the first time since she walked into the room, the princess seems interested. Not in him, mind you, but in the conversation.

“Occasionally. Our bowmen are better than me, of course, but I have contributed to the stew plenty of times.”

“Will you be participating in the archery event?”

“Oh, no, I am horrid with a true bow. No, I shall be jousting, nothing more.”

“That’s a shame. I do enjoy watching the archers. But the joust is the main event, and always provides a good show.” She sighs, rubbing a spot on the back of her hand. “What of your studies? What sort of things were you taught?”

”Nothing that would rival your learning, I imagine. I am the youngest of many sons; I was taught little in the ways of leading.”

“I asked about what you were taught, not of what you lack.”

“Mathematics, languages, the arts. My tutors were skilled but rather indifferent, I must admit.”

“That seems a shame. Did you enjoy learning?”

“I did,” he says, getting a genuine smile from Abby for the first time. “I was, perhaps, not the most attentive student, but I do value what I learned.”

“Well, we do have a rather extensive library here. You are more than welcome to explore it while you are here.”

“I - thank you, your highness.”

“You’re welcome.” She stands, and he does the same. “There is still much to be done before the tournament, and I must be going. Do you have a room, or are you staying in the barracks with the other competitors?”

Reginald had been given a room, and a nice one at that, but he got the impression that the princess might appreciate humility.

“I shall be staying in the barracks.”

“Very well. Sir Gabriel shall lead you there, then.” She was about to turn, to leave, but he reached out and caught her hand. Blind to the way she stiffened up, he pressed a kiss to the back of her hand.

“I look forward to seeing you again.”

“Yes, of course.” As tactfully as she can, she takes a step back. “Sir Gabriel?” She hardly raises her voice, but the knight is in the room barely a second later. His purple eyes seem to bore a hole into Reginald.

“Yes, your highness?”

“Our visiting prince shall be staying in the barracks with the rest of the competitors. Could you show him the way, please?”

“Of course. This way.” He gestures for the door and Reginald steps through obediently, not wanting to get on his bad side. (The princess, left behind in the sitting room, breathes for the first time.)

It is a rather long walk down to the barracks, and it is spent in stony silence as the knight walks beside him. Before Gabriel lets him into the barracks, he stops.

“The princess is very dear to all of us. Do not upset her, do you understand?” Reginald nods. “Good.” He opens the door without ceremony, practically shoving him into the crowded barracks. Already he regrets this. The other knights glare at him, but the other competitors surround him with glee.

“So, the first suitor!”

“Tell us, is she as pretty as they say?”

“Did she threaten to cut off your head?”

“Have you got a token of her favor for the joust?”

“No, no I didn’t think of that,” he says. The others groan. “But she told me I could use the library whenever I wished.” A cheer goes up. It’s not much, but it’s certainly something.

For the life of him, he can’t figure out why the knight in the corner seems so mad at him.

[agentnico]

Longlegs (2024) review

His legs aren’t THAT long, jeez.

Plot: FBI Agent Lee Harker is assigned to an unsolved serial killer case that takes an unexpected turn, revealing evidence of the occult. Harker discovers a personal connection to the killer and must stop him before he strikes again.

Before we get to the movie itself I must applaud Neon for giving this film such a stellar marketing campaign. Most common complaint about modern day trailers is that they show too much of the movie. They’re essentially summaries of the entire film, giving away every major set piece, with the whole narrative showcased from beginning to end, leaving little to the imagination. Makes one wonder why even it’s worth seeing the actual movie when you’ve already essentially been spoiled. Hence why Neon’s advertising strategy for Longlegs stands out so much. Throughout the last half of the year they have been releasing small 10 second untitled cryptic teaser snippets that intentionally left the premise vague, as discontinuous editing was employed to display snapshots of brutal murders, ominous world building and nightmarishly surreal images of primal fears including snakes and blood. In fact, those teasers didn’t even show the film’s title, just the release date. Then there were the billboards that had a phone number that, if you called, you’d get to hear Nicolas Cage. Speaking of Cage, again the teasers don’t really show him at all, allowing for the build up of his mysterious character to be left till the audience were in the cinema seats. Then when the early reviews came out, praises were hailed as well as comparisons to Silence of the Lambs, so naturally expectations were high.

Unfortunately, the truth is much more disappointing: Longlegs is just another run-of-the-mill, albeit well-executed, serial killer film. It’s evident that director Oz Perkins took inspiration from the aforementioned Silence of the Lambs, as well as the ambiance and possession themes of David Lynch’s iconic series Twin Peaks. However unlike those films there is a lack of urgency or mythos here, with the FBI agent feeling somewhat unimportant to the grand scheme of the story, and Maika Monroe’s acting is as plain as a cardboard. That shtick worked for her in 2014’s thriller The Guest, as there she played a moody teenager, however in Longlegs she simply comes off wooden. Look, all I’m saying is she’s no Jodie Foster. There too is a lack of backstory or explanation in regards to the supernatural elements, and I feel like the film wouldn’t have hurt having an extra scene or two to delve deeper into Longlegs’ powers and his origins.

I love Nicolas Cage. He’s one of the greatest actors working today, and truly is one of my favourites as he manages to elevate any film he is in to another level. As Longlegs he is fantastic. They use his expressionistic style of acting very cleverly here, by making him quite over the top with his voice, but done is a creepily eerie and weird way and scenes with him are great. However, as per the marketing and the first half of this movie, Longlegs is mostly hidden from the view of the audience. We see corners of his face or him blurred out in the background, and I feel like that mystery added to the hidden uncomfortable nature of his character. So when we do finally get to see him, Cage is on top form however the make-up department have given him this mask to wear and it looks really cheap. Evidently they had a limited budget with this film, but that’s why the technique of showing a bit less worked more than showing the entire thing, as he does look kind of goofy. Also, Cage is really under-used here. Already mentioned about the lack of backstory, but also in general he’s only in maybe 3-4 scenes but isn’t allowed space to delve too deeper into the demonic mindset of this character.

I do appreciate Oz Perkins’ directing style, as the cinematography was solid and he has some fun with changing the aspect ratio throughout the film to create a sense of claustrophobia, and each scene is filled with that unsettling sense of paranoia, however the movie does suffer from a slow overdrawn pace, and the central mystery in reality is so predictable you can guess what’s happening a mile away. Then when the movie ends fairly abruptly, there’s definitely a lack of satisfaction when it’s over.

It does feel that due to the effective hyped up marketing and the comparisons to Silence of the Lambs have built this movie up to being something truly spectacular, when in reality it’s an okay serial killer flick with elements of the supernatural that has moments of greatness, primarily due to Nicolas Cage, even though, again, his legs aren’t even that long.

Overall score: 6/10

[jaynosurname]

(60) Villainess Level 99: I May Be the Hidden Boss but I'm Not the Demon Lord

Isekai is such a comfort genre to me. There is so much slop so I completely understand why people can’t stand it.

But I do enjoy watching some of them. There’s a charm to it, at least to me. And Villainess Level 99 is one of those shows. I like the protagonist a lot and most of the other characters. The male love interests are unbearable though, especially the prince.

I had a lot more fun with it than I expected too. I like that despite Yumiella's high level, people still look down on her and even suspect her high level is fake. It's really fun seeing her prove everyone wrong. The scene where she smugly asks the prince if he still thinks she's not level 99 after summoning a fucking black hole sold me on the show completely. I was all in after that.

I also really liked Yumiella's dynamic with Alicia who is this Isekai world's main heroine. Alicia is an interesting character because the show focuses on her for most of the first episode, which is a great decision. Also, since we get to know her from the start, it stops her from being completely unlikeable since she also doesn't like Yumiella. Her reason for disliking her compared to boys is also just a lot more valid than the boys. Her magic attribute is light, and Yumiella's is darkness. When she looks at her all she sees is pure darkness and it scares her. Her light magic is causing Yumiella to seem like this evil monster and even makes her suspect her of being the evil demon lord. Obviously, she's wrong, but at least her reason for distrusting her is not as dumb as the boys. Plus, despite her fear, she still tries to talk to Yumiella later in the plot, and a lot of Alicia's internal struggles get revealed including an intriguing concept I've never seen in an isekai before. I won't go into here to avoid spoiling things, but it involves the fact Alicia is the technical protagonist of this world and how that fact affects her.

And of course, Yumiella is a fantastic protagonist. She has a funny habit of not thinking ahead when it comes to her plans and it's very amusing. An immediate example of this is her grinding to reach level 99. She wants to be level 99 so she can defend herself since she is the hidden boss who is killed at the very end of the game, she's been Isekaied into. She also wants to be at a high level to defeat the demon lord on her own if it comes down to it. Due to her lack of foresight her high-level causes people to be even more suspicious of her because most students at the schools she attends are between levels 1-10. So, uh that backfired for her.

She's also really dense in a very amusing way. One of her few friends is very obviously in love with her, but she keeps overthinking things to the point where the idea of him being in love with her never crosses her mind.

So, the fact that I had a lot to say, shows that I enjoyed it a lot. But that kinda creates the big issue with this show. Although I enjoyed it a lot, it ended way too quickly. It's way too short. I wanted to get more invested in the characters, but the anime concludes too quickly. And it was disappointing being so invested, only for its ending to happen without fanfare. It's really abrupt too. It's like they realized how few episodes were left and just fast-forwarded through the story. I wish the show had more time to flesh things out because its short length dampers an otherwise great show.

(4/5)

[jaanusbooktalk]

Café con Lychee by Emery Lee - Book Review

6/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

TW: homophobia, racism, cultural appropriation, fear of being outed, toxic friendships, bullying

(TWs are ranked in order of severity, please take them seriously!)

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while! I just started senior year and everything’s been moving kinda fast, but I have gotten the chance to read a lot!

Most recently, I’ve read:

On a Sunbeam (graphic novel by Tillie Walden)

Rainbow in the Dark by Sean McGinty

Fifteen Hundred Miles from the Sun by Jonny Garza Villa

Love from A to Z by S.K. Ali

Lobizona by Romina Garber

Six Crimson Cranes by Elizabeth Lim

The Color Purple by Alice Walker

My So-Called Bollywood Life by Nisha Sharma

I’m currently reading Crying in H-Mart by Michelle Zauner 🍜

^me and my college applications rn😭

Summary:

“Sometimes bitter rivalries can brew something sweet.

Theo Mori wants to escape. Leaving Vermont for college means getting away from working at his parents’ Asian American café and dealing with their archrivals’ hopeless son Gabi who’s lost the soccer team more games than Theo can count.

Gabi Moreno is miserably stuck in the closet. Forced to play soccer to hide his love for dance and iced out by Theo, the only openly gay guy at school, Gabi’s only reprieve is his parents’ Puerto Rican bakery and his plans to take over after graduation.

But the town’s new fusion café changes everything. Between the Mori’s struggling shop and the Moreno’s plan to sell their bakery in the face of the competition, both boys find their dreams in jeopardy. Then Theo has an idea—sell photo-worthy food covertly at school to offset their losses. When he sprains his wrist and Gabi gets roped in to help, they realize they need to work together to save their parents’ shops but will the new feelings rising between them be enough to send their future plans up in smoke?”

Representation:

This will be an own voices review since I’m coming from an Asian American & queer perspective, but we are not a monolith and not everyone will agree with my interpretation.

To be honest, I had really high expectations for this book. It had been in my TBR ever since I heard it was coming out, and I was super excited to read about two queer PoC falling in love (not to mention the enemies to lovers and food!!) but it ended up falling short in a lot of ways.

For representation, Theo Mori is Japanese and Chinese (if I remember correctly) and Gabi Moreno is Puerto Rican. While Theo is gay and out, Gabi is very much in the closet and struggles with his father’s machismo expectations.

I will say that while this is the author’s own experience growing up in these cultures, the book’s impact depended on the readers. For white readers, the book would appear to reinforce negative stereotypes like Asian parents pushing for perfect grades, and Latinx parents being machismo and sexist.

It’s one of those things that for Asian kids, we know that sometimes our parents can be strict, but it’s not something that applies to all Asian parents. I would have liked to see some of those stereotypes challenged in this book instead of reinforced.

That being said, the book did a really good job of showing the struggles of being in the closet, especially with a homophobic family.

What I Liked:

I liked the plot and how it flowed - nothing seemed choppy or didn’t make sense. There was always a reason the characters were doing what they did, and even if you didn’t agree with it you understood their motivations.

I needed a good beach read when I picked this up, and it did not disappoint. I also love love love when romance books have switching perspectives - it adds a lot of dimension to the characters.

Why I couldn’t give it a 10:

Sadly, this book ended up falling into a lot of unfortunate stereotypes that I felt readers from other backgrounds wouldn’t recognize as such. I discussed this a bit already, but it was to the extent that I had to put the book down at times. I also didn’t really like how the “enemies to lovers” aspect was basic - they genuinely had little reason to hate each other and it was mostly one sided. This is later acknowledged so that they can have a romance, but it fell flat for me. I prefer when characters have complex motivations, especially for a plot line that propels so much of the book.

Ultimately, I’m grateful for the representation this book brings to the table and I hope it can make people feel seen, I just didn’t enjoy the writing as much as I wanted to. For a debut novel, it’s not bad!

I can’t think of any recommendations like this book at the moment (because this is a months-old draft) but I’ll keep an eye out!

Thanks for reading!

[project1939]

200 Films of 1952

Film number 183: Hunted (aka, The Stranger in Between)

Release date: March 17th, 1952 

Studio: Independent Artists, British Film Makers 

Genre: noir/ thriller 

Director: Charles Crichton 

Producer: Julian Wintle 

Actors: Dirk Bogarde, Jon Whiteley, Elizabeth Sellars, Kay Walsh 

Plot Summary: Chris Lloyd has just murdered his wife's boss in a rage after discovering she was having an affair with him. While fleeing the scene, he collides with a young boy who is also on the run because of an abusive foster father. The two become odd companions on the lam, trying to escape the police and get to northern England where Lloyd’s brother lives. 

My Rating (out of five stars): ***½  

This was a well-acted, visually distinct, unusual noir, but it was not without its flaws. I think my expectations were too high, because I ended up a little disappointed with it. I found it pretty far-fetched, and as time went on it became more cloyingly sentimental than I anticipated. It’s not a bad film by any means; I just wasn't as moved by it as I thought I might be. (minor spoilers)

The Good: 

Dirk Bogarde. He was fabulous in this. He had to spend most of the film at a 9 or 10 on the emotional scale, but he was able to convey those heightened, almost hysterical emotions well. From fear, to anger, to love and concern for the boy... he excelled. 

Jon Whiteley as Robbie, the boy. What a little actor! Shockingly, he didn’t overplay things like many young actors do. His more subtle style was really effective in a gritty realistic film. 

The look of the film. It was a classic noir with a darker palette, many shadows, unvarnished locations, and lots of scenes at night. There was also some cool camerawork and many interesting shot compositions. 

The real-life locations used were a highlight for me, especially in the factory town of Stoke. Those smokestacks and the skyline in general were so striking. 

The story was unique, which made it quite intriguing, especially in the earlier parts. 

I appreciated the way the film just jumped right into the action, and we as viewers had to catch up. We didn’t know who Chris or Robbie were or their back stories- a little patience was needed before we started getting some answers.  

I liked that the ending left some things unanswered. We don't fully know what happened between Chris and Robbie long term.

The Bad: 

Despite its grungy aesthetic of an ugly reality, it was kind of a preposterous story. Why a wanted criminal would drag a little boy all over the country with him is crazy, even if the writing does its best to explain it. 

As the film went on it got too sentimental for me. By the end, I was more annoyed than moved. It wasn’t as overly sentimental as most movies with kids in them, but it was still too much for my taste.  

The musical score was a big part of why it started feeling too melodramatic and saccharine to me. I wasn’t a fan. 

I never fully understood why the boy would want to be with Chris? Yes, he didn’t whip him like his foster dad, but he yelled at him a lot and dragged him around in a really rough manner through mud and pouring rain, and he was a murderer!

Sometimes all the running got to be a bit much. There were scenes through the city, though fields, through smaller towns, through mud, through streams, through mountains... 

I’m sure the film just didn’t want to broach the subject, but when the police were totally confused about why a man would want to run off with a young boy... it stretched believability. Again, though, I’m sure it's an idea the filmmakers just did not want to put in the audience's head. 

[sketchnskribbles]

just watched episode 5: *spoilers below*

(I’m also going to now cont this on my art blog. I feel it fits better here, since I’ll be drawing for this show soon enough)

My main theory for Jod/Silvo/whatever-his-name-is (he gets a new one each episode we see him. It’s very old school pirate/outlaw of him. Kudos):

He is an ex-Padawan of the Jedi Order. (Honestly, I think I’ll be incredibly disappointed if he isn’t. It just makes sense to me.)

Reason 1: Openly uses the Force

At first I thought it was exactly as Fern suspected: that he was using some sort of “magic” trick to fool them into believing he was a Jedi. Which is still partially true. Initially I believed it was magnets. Either hidden in his clothing or installed into his body, like a cyborg. Capable of manipulating the electronics/metal around him. Like a makeshift Magneto. Which I thought (and still think) would be extremely cool. And would provide a new and interesting set of skills within the galaxy.

But now that we are in Ep 5. I’m starting to truly think that he does have the force.

He uses the force regularly with a clear familiarity that only those who were trained very young could manage (unless they’re prodigy/incredibly high Midi count, in Luke’s case).

And now he uses the force for his benefit. He has the training of a padawan and the mindset of a boy that was raised amongst pirate. A Captain Jack of the Star Wars universe. Internally built in morals but a pessimistic outlook on life in the galaxy.

Reason 2: No Attachments

He gave the “no attachments” talk to Wim in ep 5 (and this is the reason why my theory of him being a Jedi solidified in my mind, over the magnets theory). Albeit, he gave it in a less-Jedi way. Which is to be expected after surviving the genocide of his people (provided he is a remnant of the Order). He basically told him (I’m merely summing it up) that the attachments would diverge him from his direction in life. He should “forget his parents” because “he (Jod) did and he’s /doing great!/“ (a huge lie if there was ever one).

Honestly, his little one-to-one talk with Wim really provided some insight into his mindset. And having him specifically say something along the lines of “you need to forget your attachments. All of them. They’ll just slow you down”. It’s one thing to just say “forget your parents”. Which a character like his would say. It’s a whole different meaning for a character in Star Wars to say “forget your attachments to your parents”.

That was a big ole hint to me, tbh.

If his character truly does hold a Jedi past. Then Jod isn’t saying to “stop loving your parents”. He’s saying “You just need to let go of them.”

I doubt he stopped loving the Master he once had. Or the padawan friends/siblings of his age group. In fact, his love for them would be the reason he is such a hurting man as we now know him now.

.

On the topic of attachments:

I adore the thought of the Jedi teachings of no attachments leading to a people unable to properly live. Because every being that grew up under the Order’s tutelage we’re not at all well adjusted.

Obiwan: didn’t know how to cope after the loss of his first attachment (Quigon), except to latch onto the last remnant of him (Anakin). He also didn’t know how to cope the loss of his second attachment (Anakin), except to watch his remnants (Luke and Leia) from afar.

No longer willing to get to know and attach to them, too. Fearing even more loss. Giving in to being a hermit in the desert because it would (assumably) hurt less. Haunted by the ghosts of his past.

Obiwan didn’t know how to go through the process of grief and properly let go. Because he was taught to never even love another being on an intimate (romantic or platonic) level in the first place.

So, then, how could he ever learn how to properly grieve and move forward?

Anakin: Refused to give up his attachments. Unwilling to give in to the Jedi rule about not latching on to people that he chose to love.

He gripped so tightly to his people in fear of losing them. A fact that Palpatine utilized to groom and isolate him away from everyone anyways.

Anakin, too, could not learn to let go. He didn’t know how to move forward after loss either.

With Obiwan, his love for his older brother/father-figure turned to an obsessive hate (and there is a very fine line between love and hate). With Padme, his love for her was fierce, yet possessive. He could not ever think of losing her and even went against his own ideals and morals in order to “save” her. Not realizing that it was his own actions that lost her until it was too late. With Ahsoka, he didn’t know how to cope with her leaving him other than to meditate with her lightsabers everyday and pray that she returned to him. With Shmi, he lost her in his arms after she was tortured to death and turned around to slaughter the very people that took her from him. With an internal promise that he would never lose another loved one again.

Anakin, too, unable to learn how to grieve and move forward.

Both Obiwan and Anakin “sacrificed” themselves “for Luke”. (I could get into this bag of worms of: Neither of them realizing that giving themselves up for a situation that could have easily not lead to their deaths, resulted in leaving Luke alone in a world that hated his kind. Because both selfishly wished for the end, but then we would be here all day).

Ahsoka: still has not learned how to grieve and move forward. Which is causing pain to her current friends and family. By holding them all at arms length. Unable to cope with the loss of her own brother/father-figure to the darkside. Now afraid that she would follow his same path if she allowed herself to “attach” herself to someone else, not realizing yet she already has.

Cal (please keep in mind I haven’t finished Survivor. My system keeps crashing… I got to Greev’s bar and that’s it 😤): Is unable to yearn for the loss of his new-found family and crew. Wishing for all of them to be within the confines of his ship and going on adventures with him. Not realizing that they aren’t “gone” and they haven’t “forgotten him”. Their lives have simply gone on to different paths, their bonds no less strong, and yet he now keeps them at arms length because the physical distance for some reason crippled him emotionally. Plus, something obviously happened that I am not yet aware of.

And now Jod: He has internally accepted “no attachments” to the point that he just simply doesn’t try. The more we learn about his past relationships, the more you can tell how much he internalized it. Now we get to see him unwillingly bond with these children now under his care. I can only hope that he can succeed in learning what it is to be truly loved and also how to love.

I just finished watching Episode 4 of The Skeleton Crew and I now have some new theories! *spoilers below*

Theory 1: At Achran was once exactly like At Attin. Perhaps every single one of the hidden planets were once exactly like At Attin, but since we only know of the two planets we’ll just be staying with them for this post.

I’m thinking that At Achran had been just as preserved as At Attin but some kind of disagreement or someone filled with greed for power of some kind caused the planet’s society to destabilize. Especially when General Strix was presented as the “true leader” of their planet. Suggesting a previous and current power struggle. Though I get the feeling that Strix is happy to sit back and enjoy his position of power while others do his job for him. This situation felt to me that both sides have devolved into being unable to think beyond the pettiness of each other.

Theory 2: At Attin and all of the other planets are experiments similar to Fallout’s Vaults. Where some dubious group or groups decided to find (I think it was seven or eight pillars in the tower of ep 4?) 7-8 planets to create the same type of society, and then set each planet a different set of instructions/forced something to happen in order to study what would be the effect.

While it is likely by some sus section of the Republic, I wonder if maybe it could have been created by a different faction entirely? Perhaps the as far back as the Eternal Empire? Or maybe further forward where it was an experiment created by a newly christened Empire in its early years?

The Skeleton Crew has been so amazing. I’ve been having an absolute blast! Whoever came together to write this, clearly knows Star Wars and what they want tell with their story. I am in love with all the characters. I wish for each one to get a happy ending but they have clearly shown that they are willing to give some stakes for the kids and their reluctant adult to go through before they can return home.

And I can’t wait to learn more about the secrets of these strange planets.

[even-disco-baby]

BLOATED CORPSE OF A DRUNK — “Have you solved the case yet? Do you know who killed me?” Every word reeks of decomposition.

“It was the drink.”

“It was the job.”

“It was this city.”

“It was the leaver.”

“It was failure.”

“It was the whole world.”

BLOATED CORPSE OF A DRUNK — He laughs. It’s a terrible sound, like the final groan of air escaping dead lungs. “The world has failed us all, brother. And we are all the world. Killing each other… and ourselves.” His bulging eyes peer at you. “You know the truth, Harry. So tell me why. *Why did you do it?* Why did you try to erase me from your own mind?”

“Because I hate you.”

“Because everyone hates you.”

“Because I can’t live with you.”

“Because you can’t live with anyone.”

“I didn’t kill you! I *saved* you! This is what it took to survive!”

BLOATED CORPSE OF A DRUNK — “Is it really?” Somehow, what’s left of his face looks sad. “You know, brother, I don’t think you’re wrong. That’s the hardest part.”

EMPATHY — You made the only choice you could live with that day. He knows that. But he wishes that *he* had never become something that you had to kill to survive.

LIMBIC SYSTEM — Do you understand now? The consequence of leaving the warm dark? You have killed the animal you used to be, but you will never be truly rid of him. You are his living tomb. Is that what you want?

YOU — “What choice do I have?”

ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN — Oblivion, baby. You’ve got lots of choices, actually. Doesn’t have to be the *big one.* You could go about it like that boy’s father, just check out of all your responsibilities. Get so high you can’t even hear the arrears knocking at your door.

ENDURANCE — Your body is already balanced on a knife’s edge. It probably wouldn’t take much to induce a coma like Cuno’s dad.

LIMBIC SYSTEM — It would be a kinder way to live out what little time you have left. Nothing to fear anymore. No future to dread. Just… sleep.

VOLITION — No future at all. Is that what you want? No more songs to sing, or drinks to share, or spaces to build. No helium lights or whistled harmonies. No stories. Just you, alone in the dark. The end.

“It’s easier to be alone. I can’t bear to disappoint people anymore.”

“Then let it end. I’m tired.”

“No one wants to *do* any of those things with me, anyway.”

“I want a future! But why is it so fucking hard to stay alive to see it?”

BLOATED CORPSE OF A DRUNK — “There’s no reason, brother. That’s the saddest thing. We are the world. We could make it easy.”

RHETORIC — But it’s the people who struggle the most to survive who are trying the hardest to make it easy for each other. And it is the people for whom it is already easy who make it hardest on others. And so nothing ever changes.

BLOATED CORPSE OF A DRUNK — “It was hard for me, too. But I never tried to make life easier for anyone but myself. And now here you are, knee deep in the shit I left behind. *Our* shit. Funny how that works.”

EMPATHY — He’s sorry. He would take everything back if he could, just to spare you.

INLAND EMPIRE — He can’t. No one can.

YOU — “…I’m sorry I killed you.”

BLOATED CORPSE OF A DRUNK — “I was already a dead man, Harry. You can’t be what I was and live in the world. You hear me? You can’t be what I was anymore.”

EMPATHY — No more cruelty, he begs you. No more selfishness. No more letting the world burn in hopes that you’ll go up in flames with it.

“Don’t worry. I’d sooner die than ever let you come back to life.”

“I can’t make promises like that. I barely even know who *I* am, yet. Maybe I’m even worse than you.”

“I’ll be better. I swear.”

[Reach out and touch the dead man.]

BLOATED CORPSE OF A DRUNK — The swollen eyes close as you reach up to touch his arm. You cannot reach high enough to stroke his hair like you did for the hanged man, but this is already more kindness than he ever expected from you.

EMPATHY — He knows that you will never forgive him. Nor will many people. But that you feel any tenderness at all toward him makes his face morph into something less rotten. More human.

YOU — “There, there, dead man… You were someone’s child… It’s all over now.”

INLAND EMPIRE — It’s not over for you. It never seems to be over. You will keep making corpses and tombs of yourself over and over again until the day you die.

VOLITION — So do we all. That is the price of change. But tombs are monuments of love. They are not such terrible things to be.

[robobarbie]

for the next angst hour: it seems like the LIs all had less than great childhoods. how does that still affect them? does toasty feel like he's unwanted due to his parents kind of ignoring him? does nightowl overdo the niceness to keep people from getting upset? how about xyx and quest?

I think I've probably talked for eons about how their parents affected them, but let's have a little recap for the newbies

GATHER ROUND THE BONFIRE

Nightowls mother was verbally and physically abusive. His father stood by and just let it happen. His mother also had high expectations for his success and told him he was an embarrassment every time he went against her wishes. The only reason he was able to afford the grad school he wanted was on a scholarship -- which is about to run out. So, nightowl was affected by all of that by struggling with being seen for who he was, since he often had to just take the hits or the criticism and keep smiling or laughing. Being seen as a joke though really bothers him since it hits a little too close to how his mom saw him in his mind. He's probably the best of the four at sensing peoples' feelings because he had to always be on guard for shifts in his mom's behavior. This all made him highly empathetic towards people, but, again, makes him easy to manipulate since he has a hard time going against anyones wishes for fear of disappointing them. He doesnt deal with it well and will have angry and confusing outbursts when he can't take it anymore.

Toasty's parents ignored him his whole life. He never wanted for everything, went to the nicest private schools, all that -- but they were never there. Because of this, he's sort of accepted a loner lifestyle and has internalized that he is inherently a burden for asking for things. He's matured past most of those emotions by where he is in the game, but sometimes he has moments where he's just surprised that people care about him as much as they do. He's also not great at displaying affection, probably due to his lack of receiving affection his whole life. But it's something that he is very emotional and happy about receiving -- that's sort of why he has those dual love languages. He enjoys spoiling his partner with gifts (mayyyyybe because he ingrained it into his mind that his parents had to care because they got him everything he wanted) but he really loves being touched by them in return and physically feeling loved.

Quest. LMFAO. Well. Quest similarly had no real relationship with his parents, so most of his issues don't directly come from that. However, he was abandoned by both his mother and father (albeit at different points in his life) and that gave him the mindset that he can't rely on anyone but himself. Everyone walks away from him -- and he can't blame them either. The life they were in was violent and scary. So, now, he has a difficult time letting people in because he's afraid they will run when they learn anything about him. He's supported himself alone for years in the worst moments, so he doesn't have a habit of going to anyone else for help even when he desperately needs it. He cant let them help him -- its too risky. He has to handle this pain himself. He'll be fine. He always pulls through.

Xyx had the best relationship out of everyone with his parents. They supported his dreams, encouraged his adventurous nature, all that. They of course had some differences, but nothing that wasn't resolved with an open conversation and some love. Most of xyx's issues came from his past relationship or his friends getting standoffish with him whenever he tried to confide in them. He was supposed to be the easygoing funny guy, not the one making their heads hurt.