#those are the ship names I’ve seen used before but idk what the most used is

[mossiestpiglet]

Just found out that there’s two different stills of the Ed and Frenchie in the galley scene, with very different Frenchie expressions:

Here Frenchie’s brow is furrowed and he’s holding more of a frown. Ed is also a little less on top of him than in the other pic, but also has a slightly more furrowed brow than in the other.

Here, Frenchie and Ed both have raised eyebrows and Frenchie has opened his mouth slightly. The box of bottles is also positioned in a more defensive way between him and Ed, who is here more on top of him and making much wider eyes, but with his head slightly turned.

I’m really interested to see which of these actually comes first in the scene, but I suspect it will be the one where Frenchie seems more irritated than intimidated, and the scene progresses to intimidation.

[soft-persephone]

Helpful not so Helpful Guide to Jake Johnson

A master post with links to some movies and information or where to access some of them +more

Disclaimer: if any of these movies are bad or you hate them, that’s on you and not me. I am heavily biased. You have been warned.

SELF RELIANCE

let’s start with the obvious. It’s out now on Hulu! Has been since February maybe idk. I’m unhealthily obsessed and bad with dates.

It’s his directorial debut, but if you didn’t know. Jake started out as a writer before improv and acting. He’s the writer, director, and star of this one. It’s very special and his baby!

It’s a wild roller coaster ride of emotions and genre. If you smoke, smoke, if you drink, drink, if you are sober, it’s still a roller coaster ride. Don’t worry, there is a lot there for you too!

But if you like enhancements, I hear it’s extra fun.

I liked it a lot, it’s whacky, creepy at times, but undeniably fun. And that’s all I will say.

Warning! Don’t watch press or any interviews for the movie until after you’ve seen the movie.

Ride the Eagle

is also on Hulu

It’s a movie he wrote during the pandemic and directed with Trent O’Donnell who directed many episodes of new girl.

It’s very heartfelt and about Grief.

Jake Johnson’s dog also makes guest appearance with their acting debut and they are the sweetest and most bestest acting dog ever.

WE’RE HERE TO HELP

his podcast!

It’s very fun and with one of his buddies Gareth Reynolds.

People call in and they give them advice that is as funny and crazy as the callers.

Something’s Burning

Here’s a link to a interview on the premise of the show, but also they talk to this guy. idk. He may be a bit much, but he makes Jake laugh and I love listening to him laugh, so it’s fun for that reason too.

Or you are a Burt fan.

🏴‍☠️Pirate ship access only 🏴‍☠️

Link to the ship

The Pretty One -

one of my favorites. It’s an oddball indie about twins where one dies and the one alive assumes the identity of the one who died where she stumbles upon her sister neighbor played by Jake Johnson. He’s dressed like a sexy Mr. Rogers if you ask me, and he is delightfully sardonic and childish. However, he dresses better than Nick Miller ever could

Win it All

It used to be on Netflix, but it’s been taken down recently. That’s my bad because I could have made this sooner, but I just haven’t for no reason.

Jake plays a character with a gambling addiction and an anxiety inducing as the first part may be, it’s not that bad. When I first saw it I had to turn it off because I just got too anxious over what might happen next, but you might not have a weak stomach like me, so you might be fine.

On the second time around, I made it to the part where he meets this girl and everything quickly became heartwarming and endearing and it makes you just root for the main character.

A love letter for those in our lives who may not be fortunate to put themselves together as well as we might.

TAG

It’s also available the link above, but it could be streaming for free somewhere. Idk.

this movie is very self-explanatory by the name. It’s very fun, Jeremy Reiner is in it, so that’s either good news or bad news for you. But it’s still fun.

Jake looks very good in this one. He still has his Tom cruise work out body.

I am very embarrassed to say I can tell what year every movie has come out based on his body shape which is lovely at every size, but the accuracy is quite scary. Which is information I didn’t need to share at all

Stumptown

I used to keep that thang on me.

And by thang on me, I mean a pirate ship link to see this show. But they are for some reason gone. I’ve searched high and low for ones to access on maybe a phone? But unless you have a fire stick that has some certain pirate ship accessories on there, I don’t know where you can watch it.

But it’s such an amazing serialized show about this woman who comes back home from Iraq with ptsd, the love of her life died over there and his family blames her for it and she also blames herself for it.

She becomes a private investigator and her best friend is Gray McConnell played by Jake Johnson who, surprise suprise, owns a bar.

Imagine a cooler, sexier, smarter, and more put together Nick Miller. He is just as funny and sarcastic, but not a manchild.

But the show has amazing bisexual representation, mental health representation of ptsd, complex female characters, and it’s so well paced and written and every way.

If you love cop shows like criminal minds or fbi or any of those, imagine something like that but about a private investigator, and more emphasis on the plot and characters and their relationships. The “cop” part is just more fun on this show than others, but I am biased because I hate cop shows.

I wish I had a link to give y’all for it because it’s so easily to obsess over.

However, it’s also been canceled because of “COVID” but if you look into it. That’s a bullshit reason, and it’s been canceled for no reason, but at that point Jake Johnson was doing spiderverse and Colbie Smolders was doing other stuff. (She plays the main female character)

MINX

Show set in the 70s about a woman starting the first male nude magazine to persue her dream of making a feminist one.

It’s smart, the writing is amazing, and I can not recommend it enough. There’s a lot of nudity, but it’s not what you think at all.

You truly have to watch it for yourself to understand what the show is trying to do, and it’s amazing.

I’ve never seen anything like it and it’s such a breath of fresh air in a time of remakes and endless sequels.

It used to be on HBO but now it’s on Starz!

Here’s a link to see it. Shhhh. Don’t tell anyone

But for some reason it only has season two which sucks so hard and I am so sorry I couldn’t provide more.

Drinking Buddies

- it used to be available on YouTube but now it’s not free anymore or the person who posted has since deleted it been removed. But the pirate ship one will have it for sure.

Have you ever met someone and you never dated them, never had a something more conversation but the chemistry is there.

You were super close to them, but no one has ever questioned it or said anything about it, but when you are with them you know it’s there? But that’s all it ever has been and will be, and maybe you aren’t even in each others lives anymore but you still think of them from time to time because they were a major part of you being who you are?

Yes? Well boy do I have a movie for you!

No? Well that’s what this movie is, but it adds more because it’s a movie and it needed to be at least an hour and a half.

But now that you know what it’s about, be warned that it’s slower in pace. It’s an indie movie.

I will have more to say about that later.

But overall it’s a good movie with a good feeling.

If you’ve ever had a will they won’t they in a real life way and not the Hollywood way, this movie might trigger those feelings.

Digging for Fire

- it used to be available on YouTube but now it’s not free anymore or the person who posted has since deleted it been removed. But the pirate ship one will have it for sure.

A cute heartwarming thriller.

Those genres don’t seem like they could all blend together, but that’s what this movie does.

A family rents out a house in LA and the husband, played by Mr Jake Johnson, finds a gun and a bone, and they call the police and they say we’re not responsible for random trash. Call us if you find a body.

This is a real story that happened to Jake Johnson and his family.

He called up his friend Joe Swamburg who is a director, and they make this movie together.

He’s also the director of drinking buddies and Win it All.

It’s not only about that, again, because it needs to be over an hour. So it’s also about marriage. Not say anything else because you need something to keep you wanting to see this one, but I will say, it’s not a pretentious or dark or super try hard movie about marriage that will depress you.

It’s open and honest and ultimately sweet.

Imagine if scenes from a marriage wasn’t a drag or if a marriage story was positive instead of weird.

Idk I never actually watched a marriage story. It might not even be called that at all and you may be confused so… moving on.

No Activity

A show he was in for three episodes but it has a hilarious premise and if you are a fan of comedy, you might enjoy it having Will Farrell, Jason Mantzoukas and so much more.

Here a clip

Apparently there a ten photo limit.. so no picture

I use to have a link to it, but it’s also been erased from everywhere, unless you have access to other pirate ships.

:(

Interviews

Link

Here is a playlist of amazing interviews that give you a head start on getting to know him. They aren’t in any important order, and they also have a few about each movie and show he’s in as well.

Also if you need accessing a vpn please reach out. I know a good free vpn app for iOS.

PART TWO!!!!

[chevelleneech]

Since you're kinda aware of a little more idols than me you must have seen a lot of skinship and things related to "Shipping and fanservice" in k-pop groups so what makes jikook different from others? You like Felix-bangchan too right? Do they have a similar kinda bond (not dynamics but u know if they are attached to each other off cam as well, their emotional bond etc) as jikook? Are they like clingy? I think just as "Skinship" wise BTS ships in general are nowhere like other ships from other groups, i don't know many names from k-pop but random videos from idols used to come on my insta and ppl do much more skinship than what BTS do. I remember the chaneol (or smtg like) or baekyun one of them from exo used to bite his members' ass as fun lol. I have seen some old group boys be wilding on stage, then there's this tvxn or something old grp from SM which had one of the biggest ships they also used to do a lot of skinship. So skinship wise ig BTS's ships are pretty low, idk how these groups' personal rs used to be or is. So if you know other ships from k-pop would you mind telling what's different in jikook?

I probably don’t know as many idols and group dynamics as it seems, I just tend to to talk a lot when people cross my timelines or I venture into different groups to give their music a chance. Nothing ever really sticks though.

I am a big fan of Stray Kids, however, and do think Chan and Felix have, above all else, acknowledged feelings. I don’t know if I truly think they’re a couple, because their dynamic actually isn’t all that similar to Jimin and Jungkook’s. I think in the past I’ve tried to find similarities or at least spoke on some, but for the most part, explaining them to someone who isn’t aware of their bond, it’s not as similar.

In my opinion, Chan was pretty transparent for quite a while that Felix meant a lot to him. He used to do these livestreams called Channie’s Room, where every week (or whenever he was free) he’d spend about an hour talking to fans and playing music. He did it for maybe three years or something if I can recall, and would also talk about his mental health and all sorts of things. It was shut down a year, as far as I know, because he said something JYPE wasn’t happy with.

Point is, Chan used to get online and discuss a lot of things, and at least a handful of times those things consisted of him gushing about Felix. He spoke about viewing him as a soulmate, saying he was his “other me”, tripping over his tongue to say how beautiful he thought Felix’s freckles were, and blushing as he said he’d use a pickup line on him. On top of those things, they’ve both done interviews where they spoke on how much they value their bond, being they’re both from Australia and sort of found a home away from home in each other, and at one point they said they’d like to live together and so on.

The reason their relationship is difficult for me to make a decision on, in terms of where I think they currently stand with one another, is because they’re also pretty private. They used to hug and touch more back in their earlier years, but that shifted before I became a fan of theirs so I don’t have too much of an opinion on what happened in real time. I will say though, that Chan will initiate skinship with Felix more than I’ve seen Felix do with Chan, and I’ve seen Chan seemingly much more wanting of Felix’s attention. However, in saying that, Felix not being big on publicly reciprocating skinship with Chan really only works as “proof” it’s all for show, if we are to ignore how whenever either of them breakdown on stage full of emotion, they seek each other out and/or talk about how much of a rock the other is to them.

So I do think they are really close off stage and behind the camera. A lot of their behind footage tends to have them tucked off in the corner or about to touch but it’s cut out. As well, the members said a little while back that they share a different together than either of them do with the rest of the group. So yeah, my current stance is Chan and Felix have probably discussed having feelings for each other. I think it’d be hard not to, when again, Chan will wax poetic about Felix any chance he gets. He’s even seemingly been teased about their dynamic by his sister, on live.

That said, I do also think it’s possible their dynamic could be result of Chan being the leader of their group, as well as being three years older than Felix. Coupled with how Chan used to view himself and his worth, there’s a handful of reasons why I think their dynamic swings so vastly between “Yeah, they’re in love and love being together.” and “Chan’s in love for sure, but that’s all there is.”

In comparison to Jimin and Jungkook, you’re right in saying BTS doesn’t do skinship the way I’ve seen other groups do it. In their earlier years, but even SKZ are extremely more tactile. Woosan from ATEEZ as well. Another pairing that could be considered real, but I don’t know enough about them. I do think their friendship is very real and very solid from what I’ve seen, and I wouldn’t be shocked if they ever revealed they had something going on, but that’s because they kiss and seemingly get easily jealous, but that’s as far as my opinion goes. I don’t watch their group content to know if that’s a group thing.

But to get back to Jikook, I think what makes them different is how domestic they seem. Chan and Felix don’t give off domestic partners to me, because again, they keep a lot of their dynamic off stage and off camera to themselves. They don’t seem estranged on stage and clearly get along, but a lot of their moments feel very heavy. As if Felix is hyper aware of Chan whenever he touches him, and Chan is almost embarrassed to be caught wanting the type of affection he seeks from Felix. (Just my opinion, I’m not saying that’s exactly what it is.)

Jimin and Jungkook don’t have that kind of vibe on camera. Sometimes they can seem irritated, but overall they’ve always come across as wanting to be near and open to being touched by each other. Their beginning is also a bit different from Chanlix. Neither of them are responsible for the group itself, and although Jimin is older, he and JK were both minors when they met, whereas Chan was 20 and Felix 17. So just on a foundational level, the two friendships started in different places.

Now, if Chan and Felix choose to film an AYS type series once the other members start to enlist, I would be interested in seeing how things play out. Because again, I do think they are very close and what they feel for each other has been discussed. I can’t imagine Chan has told the whole world about Felix’s beauty and him being his soulmate, yet never mentioned it to Felix.

Which is another different between them and Jikook. Jimin and Jungkook talk all the time about how much their admire one another and are proud of each other, but I don’t think they’ve ever sat on camera and inadvertently told fans about how down bad they are for the other. AYS is probably the most confirming of sorts that we’ve gotten, of them saying they’re essentially the same person, aka soulmates. I do also think though, JM and JK show their affection more than talk about it. They seem to have a tendency to travel to show their care: GCFT, Jimin flying to SK for Jungkook’s birthday, and now AYS. Which could be because they come from a different era of Kpop than SKZ, and thus grew up a little differently, idk.

This is getting long as well, but I also wanted to mention on more pairing in SKZ you didn’t. Jisung and Minho. They aren’t as confusing as Chanlix, nor as under the radar (sort of) and Jikook, and I find it so fascinating that more people don’t view them as an undeniable couple. I know lots of people think it’s crazy to assume more than one couple could exist in the same group, but I don’t know why. Kpop groups tend to be large, and I find it harder to believe only one or two members are queer.

Point is, Jisung and Minho (Minsung, if you want to look them up) seem like the most lived-in, comfortable couple I’ve seen in this industry. Which, my view is limited, but still. They refer to each other as husbands/boyfriends/wives, the other members of the group acknowledge they’re a package deal, and they stick up under each other like white on rice. Both on stage and camera and off. They go on dates, they flirt, they’re sentimental. Just all sorts of things, but I don’t recall them having crazy skinship. They do it, as do pretty much all SKZ, but theirs is never over the top, imo. For instance, Changbin loves talking about how thirsty he is for Hyunjin, and asks him out (or at least used to, I haven’t watched their content in a while), but I don’t think there’s anything actually going on between them.

Anyway, yeah. All these pairings have different dynamics, which I think is normal. They grew up in different times, under different companies, and with different families. Jimin and Jungkook seem real to me, because of how important their proximity to each other is. They seem to be aware of the fact that they don’t like being separated, and made moves to fix the things that kept them apart last year, and are now serving in the military side by side. Is that undeniable proof of romance? No, but it shows an importance in their bond that I think is now clear they don’t have with the other members.

Chan and Felix having feelings for each other seems possible to me, because Chan has never not dished on how in love with Felix he is. It would be flat out homophobic imo, to take him saying such beautiful things, and claim he meant them all platonically, when if he’s said them about a woman, people would assume he was shooting his shot or was 100% in love with her. And from Felix’s side, I think he holds his cards closer to chest, but has spoken on how much Chan means to him. So at the very least, I think their feelings are mutual.

And Jisung and Minho seem real to me, because they’ve basically said it, lol. I don’t watch their stuff too often either, but there’s only so many times I can take two people being domestic and cute, and pretty much saying, “My husband…” as a joke. It’s been years, they’re still attached at the hip, and they don’t seem to care.

Could all three be fan service? Yes, but I genuinely don’t think they are. They may not be romantically involved, but I do think all three have some level of real to them.

[slightecho]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

I got tagged by @daydreams-and-honeybees and @halcyonhue (it won’t let me tag you and idk why! 😭)

This is gonna be very interesting and silly bc I have written much and posted little!! 🤣

TAGGING: @silvvergears if you havent done this before and…… actually idk who among my fic writing friends has or hasn’t done this one bc I’ve seen it going around a few times, so if you are a fic writer and want to do it, i’m tagging you!! 😆

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

LMFAO only 4

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

481,043 words jfc 😨

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I used to dabble in writing voltron fic years ago, and that makes up the majority of works on my ao3 but currently writing for The Owl House and I’m hoping to outnumber the Voltron fics on my account with other fandoms 😎

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lmao uhhhh since I only have 4 published, I’m just gonna say the top two tbh 😅😅😅

Ashes takes the number one, with Crowd of Thousands as my second most kudos on a fic

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes!! I love responding to comments! I want to discuss things with people reading my fics and (especially in the case of Ashes), I wanna see what my readers theories are on what’s going to happen. It’s one of my favorite parts of having people who read what I write!!

If you’ve ever left me a comment and I haven’t responded, don’t be discouraged. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say beyond a giant thanks for reading. 😅 And sometimes I won’t reply if my last reply was a teaser

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhhhh so if I had finished it, it WOULD have been the untitled Bungo Stray Dogs Heathers AU fic I got like 75% of the way done writing and then abandoned.

But other than that I don’t have any with an angsty ending—oh wait no ¡Viva La Gloria! is technically a published fic in my ao3 isn’t it?

Yeah it’s ¡Viva La Gloria! then lmao

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Crowd of Thousands currently.

Ashes by the time it’s done.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Haven’t yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Pls don’t send me hate I’ll cry

Criticism and critique are fine. Just don’t be mean to meeeee pls 😊

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have.

Nothing published anywhere.

I’m not very good at it

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not really. I don’t really read them either tbh

I’m kind of the kid who doesn’t want their foods to touch on their plate when it comes to entire fandoms in fics it’s just not my thing

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not yet, or at least not to my knowledge.

Knocking on wood now

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Somewhat?

The planned Elowyn piece I have is something my girlfriend and I came up with together. So I have co-authored concepts

The first two or three chapter of Ashes, besides the prologue, there was a LOT taken from the discord RP that I’d originally come up with the plot of Ashes for. I had permission from that friend to use them. And I heavily, HEAVILY took out and then rewrote their portions (namely the Raine parts of the chapters “Moving Day” and “Hexside” bc the rest at the time were my characters). Their original writing has been scrubbed and a lot of Raine’s character and story arc has transformed into something else entirely. Pretty much all that remains is that they were the one who came up with the idea that Raine was Manny’s sibling. If they read it, they could probably still see the bones of what they wrote if they squint. But by the time Luz hits Eda with the door in “Hexside,” they’d already moved on from the rp. So it was very easy to rewrite around their parts and just reuse the posts I that I had written for those chapters.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

That’s too hard a question how dare you

I like too many ships

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oh jeez.

Either the untitled Bungo Stray Dogs Heathers AU that was never posted anywhere, or The First Golden Guard.

Pretty much The First Golden Guard i have just notes scribbled out of the plot, what I think the first chapter is, and some various bits of dialogue from different moments in the fic. But then I started writing Ashes and that took over my life, and now I really want to write The Caleb Files, and the bonus stuff that got cut from Ashes. Plus the Elowyn fic. so I just don’t know if it will ever get written now

16. What are your writing strengths?

Description and voice.

I really love getting a little flowery when describing action or setting while writing. And in the case of setting in particular, I think I have a more natural ability.

I also really strive to make sure each character’s own unique way of talking comes through in their dialogue. Maybe not always when the narration makes the reader privy to their thoughts and emotions, but at the very least, their dialogue does.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Bro just cannot stop yapping!!

I actually genuinely do believe my greatest weakness is my inability to shut up sometimes. I’m sure if I go back and reread Ashes from the beginning, I’ve said the same shit multiple times.

Also sometimes I just get repetitive!! And I use certain colloquialisms like “just,” “after all,” and “as if” FAR too often.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

sigh.

I am a latinx person who lived through the VLD fandom… I have a LOT of opinions… and I have seen some bad Spanish dialogue written by non-Spanish speakers… the kind of shit that stands out to even me, when I have little verbal fluency.

Here’s the thing: I am not AGAINST anyone writing another language of dialogue into their fics. I actually do think it’s a good thing.

HOWEVER!!!

If you are a person who only speaks one language—if you’re a person who kind of doesn’t know what I’m talking about when I say ‘code switching’ or only understands the basic definition of code switching—I am BEGGING you to try and have someone with more experience in that language than you to proofread those dialogue sections.

The amount of times I’ve seen weird moments where the code switching didn’t make logical or emotional sense for the character beyond the author’s “I want to include Spanish here” is innumerable. And that’s not to say code switching needs to have a deep, profound reason all the time—sometimes code switching happens bc there’s no word or phrase in one language that directly translates from the concept or emotion you know how to describe in another! But from what I’ve found, there are a lot of people who understand code switching in concept (and that it’s important for representation) but not in practice bc they simply have no firsthand experience with it. I don’t blame them, though! It’s a hard thing to understand on description alone! Unless you’ve experienced it before, I don’t think it’s something you can fully comprehend. And it can stand out. You can even think you’ve done it right on technicality, but it falls flat.

A tiktok in how to spot AI images I once saw said “AI understands that a mirror, or stairs, or chair legs have to be there there, but it doesn’t understand why it functionally exists or what purpose it serves” and therefore it makes mistakes by adding twelve stairs on the right and fourteen on the left, or five legs on two chairs that are somehow sharing them, or mirrors won’t show the correct items reflected back. I’ve seen many well-meaning fic writers (and published authors!!!) do the exact same thing with language switching. They understand that it should be there, but not functionally why.

Also a basic “don’t rely on google translate” here….. but also a less basic one: different cultures of a shared language are gonna have different turns of phrase and different slang. I’ve also seen a lot of fics that have Lance (a Cuban character) using Mexican slang or words. That’s always awkward.

There’s just a lot. I could go on about this forever but I think I pretty much covered it all.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ever?! Lmfao Harry Potter when I was a young teen. I didn’t understand what I was doing at all and only did it because my older friend who knew I liked writing my original stories at the time said that I should try writing fic.

I didn’t even have a plot or anything. I just genuinely thiugh fanfic was writing your little self insert OCs and perpetually playing with them in a dollhouse made of your favorite thing 🤡🤡🤡

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Wholly and completely, without a shadow of a doubt

Ashes

It’s genuinely the first fic I’ve ever written where I have actually wondered if I was better off writing it as an original story and going the publishing route. Unfortunately for future me and fortunately for you all, I’m way too attached to the characters as their original names and incarnations to do that 🤣

It’s also the first fic I’ve ever written where I went into it already knowing every piece of the puzzle and having all the clues laid out to perfectly set them up ahead of time. I’m very proud of that and I long for the day where someone rereads Ashes after it’s over and discovers the tiny things in the extremely early chapters that were hints towards the end.

[harapeveco]

Why is Reinochi called Reinochi? I've seen you mention there was like an official first draft/initial sketch thing somewhere on the internet where it said Tobi's name was originally going to be Inochi (the worst idea I've heard in a while, glad it didn't become true) but it didn't happen in the end so why does the ship name look like that?

Oks so the thing about the first draft of his name is not entirely true? Let me explain, Inochi was the placeholder name Mariyasu gave him in the character sheets for InT, the original Tobi name in the first manga draft was Unmei , those are two different things just wanted to point that out to leave any confusion out. Now the reason why I call it reinochi is pretty simple, I’ve been around long before the manga came out so yeh I saw how the first chapters got posted and all that I saw that manga start, and at the beginning Tobi didn’t have a name (as you can see his name is not mentioned in the first chapters he’s in) so most fans agreed his name was gonna be Inochi bc that’s what Mariyasu called him so that had to be the name right? And bc we reached that same conclusion we just called the ship “Reinochi”. Now, when the name Tobi was first shown (which mind you the first mention of that name wasn’t in the manga, it was in an Eve insta story) the discord server I was in was really conflicted about the name bc truth to be told we all collectively thought it was dumb and stupid, it took a while for it to grow on me but it did with time. Now, in that server the name Tobi was blacklisted, we couldn’t say it at all so we could only refer to Tobi as either Inochi or Otogiri so we stick with Inochi, saying “Reitobi” ot Tobirei” wasn’t really allowed in that server since we couldn’t say the word Tobi so reinochi was like the go to word for the ship

You may ask, but juju you still can say it in the internet also you aren’t in that server anymore? And I’ll answer you well yeh that’s true but like idk I like how reinochi rolls like Rei ends with an i and Inochi starts with an i I mean that works and I like it! It reminds me of shuake, the ship of the persona 5 protagonist and Akechi, who despite having a canon name (two canon names actually) neither of them are part of the ship name

Also controversial take but like “Reitobi” and “Tobirei” sound kinda dumb to me LMAO like not saying you cannot use them you can! But idk I don’t like how they sound I’m just so used to Reinochi and I will die in the Reinochi hill

Ig with time people who followed me just went with also the fact that a big server had to use that name bc otherwise it would be impossible to live so ig that influence could have something to do with it but I’ve seen other people on Twitter use the other variations, actually I believe the one the jp fandom uses is Reitobi but don’t quote me on that

[halcyon-nitro]

Sorry it took so long I’ve been really busy then there was some family drama 😅

Kaina-

Everything but mainly her backstory. I love tragic characters she’s the definition of tragedy. I also love her snarkiness and sarcasm especially when she talks to all for one. I know it’s cause she was dead inside but I still enjoyed the sarcasm.

I wish she was in the manga more cause she’s the most interesting character to me

That one panel in the lovely lady nagant where she sees the children and her hands covered in blood and that one in 378. (And literally every panel she was in 379 that was the most badass thing she’s done)

Hmmm I don’t really have one I really liked every panel she was in.

Not really a situation but we literally know almost nothing about her time in Tartarus not even what her cell looked like. Solitary Confinement fucks people up and definitely is a major reason of why she joined All For One (cough*deadinside*cough)

Several actually I’ll list a few roleswap with Hawks and/or Chisaki. One where she joins the Shie Hassaikai. An au where she didn’t explode and ended up teaming up with Izuku. One where the commission still exists so she goes on a revenge quest.

Hawkeye I was actually watching it before I wrote this up and I thought of her when I watched one of the episodes.

I know I talk about InkoNagant a lot but my absolute favorite Otp with her is LadyMight I love their parallels.

InkoNagant

IzuNagant just no.

Hawks, Deku, or Chisaki

She needs hearing aids cause of using her quirk without hearing protections (the explosion from afo did her no favors), she loves plushies like this women has a plushie collection and everything (post war) (besides she deserves a plushie collection she’s been through some shit)

Chisaki-

His character design! I love it so so much! The mask is probably one of the coolest masks I’ve ever seen and his outfit is just 👌👌👌

Again how underutilized he is in my opinion he’s the best villian and honestly could’ve played a much bigger role.

When he recruits Rappa and the manga panel where his fingers divide the panels.

Hmmm I’m actually not sure I’m not the best at criticism honestly

His past

I was thinking one where he actually gets brought to grandpa yakuza or whatever by Nagant.

Hunter x Hunter

Chronohaul

Nemoto x Overhaul (idk there ship name could be cool I think)

OverDeku (idk why people be shipping deku with anyone)

Nagant

Hmmm I’m actually not to sure Chisaki isn’t one of those characters I think about a lot.

[meruz]

ive been neglecting my inbox so im answering all the asks rn. sorry...if you’ve been waiting for a response.

yes go ahead!! Also ik it is hard to access my FAQ from the app but btw this is in my FAQ its very comprehensive because I get this type of ask a lot LOL. dw it’s not annoying though its easy to answer and I’m glad ppl like my art enough to use it and also care abt crediting!! its in my faq not because i dont like to answer but more so u guys dont need to ask LOL

thank you!! I dont see much infinity train content ever either. when i was making infinity train fanart everyday i felt like i was on an island LOL...

honestly I feel like cahiers are decent with posca because theyre not really absorbent and posca marks tend to sit on the page as opposed to soaking through anyways. umm i wouldnt like... use it to do a whole posca piece or anything but i use poscas just for pops of color in my sketchbook pretty often and it holds up ok. sometimes u can see the shadow of the color through the paper bc its thin but thats mostly it. i took pics of some sketchbook pgs and how the back of the page looks so you can see for yourself ( cw for bakudeku LOL ) ...theres a lot of like.. normal brush pen ink and india ink that penetrates the paper more like even compared to the black posca

thank you!!!! I love drawing assorted cephalopods... their proportions remind me of drawing digimon characters LOL.

not right now u_u I’m busy.... but you can always email me at isellhotdogs@gmail.com to check abt it! sometimes i will do commissions even if im busy because it sounds cool LOL...

lol thank you!! idk if i ship(?) them either but its interesting to think about!!! theyre funny characters to bonk together and i feel like most fanart ive seen doesnt address how funny their relationship could be if it were more exploratory i guess

yk that scene is kind of a meme now but it like genuinely still makes me emotional. when colette makes lloyd promise not to tell the others at the end it breaks my heart

yeah here you go

I feel like I’ve probably talked about this before in another ask post but i dont really think about style because its one of those things that artists should try to change depending upon intention, what you’re drawing and what you want to communicate etc. what people often recognize as style are quirks that an artist maintains throughout changing their subject and approach.....ANYWAYS. thats all to say my style probably just comes out of normal stuff like looking at other art and thinking “I want to do that” or trying out different mediums and methods and settling with whatever feels the best LOL. It’s always changing & growing! Because I’m always learning new stuff!

Theres a lot! I really like the scene when daisukes lying awake in bed thinking abt how ken’s heartbeat felt. And the scene when they have a sleepover and ken wakes up first and looks over to daisuke sleeping LOL idk subtle stuff you can read very clearly as like burgeoning queer moments.. theyre recognizable from my own queer childhood and i love that in a kids anime. also at the end of the series when theyre fighting the final boss dude and ken grabs daisukes arm to ask him to jogress but hes shivering and daisuke just turns to say “youre shaking....” and in revenge of diaboromon when ken goads daisuke into endurance running by taunting him about soccer LOL (jock romance). but one i rly want to mention is theres this youtube video about how ken and daisuke’s honorifics change over the course of the series and how significant it is when they switch over to first name basis and honestly i think about it a lot THEY HAVE GREAT SCENES!! I love ken and daisuke

wow!! thats rad... the sad truth is its just my name with like a shitton of letters taken out. sometimes i abbreviate it even further as mrz and i think to myself haha ... mister z.

[phoenixyfriend]

ok. karin vs anakin's genome being 50% the Force. go

Jesus fuck, okay. Uh, fair warning, I know very little about this subject, so it’s 90% bullshit. I am in no way qualified to talk about biology past the high school level.

Anakin's sixteen. He's part of a set of Jedi assigned to a weird mission regarding making contact with an isolated planet of near-humans with superpowers but no space travel. He doesn’t really have a Job here and now, he’s just there as Obi-Wan’s plus-one. There's an underlying plot about Sidious trying to acquire people from Ninja Land, but none of the Jedi are fully aware of it. Mostly they're distracted by all the ninjas and their bitching.

They call it the Shinobi Planet, because nobody can agree on a name for the planet when they ask and the last major international alliance was named after the shinobi profession, right? Good enough, you can change it later when you idiots can agree on literally anything, oh my god. The Samurai are very offended and it's a whole thing.

Anakin wanders a lot. He runs into various strange people and is mostly polite because, listen, half his friends are distinctly not human. When your immediate circle includes nautolans and besalisks and twi’leks and whatever the fuck Yoda is, you’re not gonna blink at a Hoshigaki or... uh... okay that kid just turned into a giant fox, is anybody gonna--no? That’s normal? Just him? Cool, cool, cool.

There’s a kage summit involved in the negotiations going on. IDK what’s being negotiated, probably something to get the ninjas to set up a singular spaceport so there’s somewhere to land WITHOUT ships being regularly shot down by village defense systems powered by that massive flaming purple skeleton warrior or the girl who punched down a mountain or the.. the literal desert? There’s a guy that can control the desert? Is there any way of keeping him away from Anakin?

(Gaara’s tickled pink that the reason someone wants to stay away from him has nothing to do with fear or respect for authority, and everything to do with ‘he is also from the desert and fucking hates it, so he’s staying away from the sand powers,’ because it’s very novel and kind of funny.)

ANYWAY where was I. Uh. Right, kage summit, lots of villages, they invite smaller villages to pitch in, but nobody ever ever ever wants Orochimaru anywhere near this situation, for hopefully obvious reasons, so Otogakure sends Karin.

Really, who else was it gonna be? Suigetsu? You want Suigetsu representing you on an interstellar political field? You want Juugo before he’s stabilized? You want Sasuke, master of ruining kage summits? You want these idiots representing you at the big kids’ table?

They send Karin. She’s a bitch with a temper, but at least she’s not as big of a political risk as... literally anyone else from the snakepit.

Anyway, Anakin wanders around, meeting people, trying foods, showing off when asked for demonstrations. He doesn’t have an Entire Protocol Droid, but he did cobble together a little floating helper that can do translations for him. Assume all translations are accurate and being done by the little helper bot. Bot’s name is G1-0T. Anakin calls it Glot.

He runs into Karin at one point, who’s not super into the whole situation, but at least Anakin’s interesting. She’s not interested in him, because he’s sixteen and she’s like... mid-twenties. And his hair is stupid. But! All these force-sensitive people feel weird to her, because sensor stuff, and it’s not chakra but it’s... something. Anakin is, of course, the weirdest.

(There are non-sensitives in the envoy, so she knows it’s not just a space thing.)

She strikes up a conversation about it, because hey, she hasn’t made it this far to not lean into... you know, being the kind of person who barges ahead with Weird Questions that might lead into fun science stuff.

Anakin is like. Well. This woman’s very strange, but it’s not like there’s anything against talking about midichlorians to random people. It’s easy enough to look up in the core. Not everyone knows about them, but it’s not a secret or anything.

“Wow,” Karin says, though not in so many words, “that sounds incredibly strange, and actually a lot like it functions completely differently from chakra, though maybe it intersects with nature chakra somehow. Can I take a blood sample?”

Anakin doesn’t want to give a blood sample to a stranger. Karin isn’t stupid enough to try to steal one. She’s seen what this Force Stuff can do, and this kid’s got a lot of it. She hasn’t got enough information on hand about it to know if he’d notice.

“How about I let you look at the blood of a guy that can turn into water?” Karin asks, because she’s not going to let him look at her blood. “I’ve got it with me.”

“...why?” Anakin asks, reasonably disturbed.

“He owes me,” she says, and does not elaborate.

“What, there’s nothing weird about your blood to share?” Anakin demands, like the ornery little bastard he is.

“People took my blood against my will for over a decade,” Karin says, with the kind of smile that threatens a stabbing. This is not secret information. Her healing factor is in the bingo book. Plenty of people still want her dead. “Nobody gets my blood except me.”

Anakin has no idea what to do with that answer. Most people wouldn’t know what to do with that answer. It’s not exactly a standard answer.

“So there is something weird about your--e chu ta what the fuck are those scars?”

Karin looks at her arm. She looks back at him. She raises an eyebrow.

“What do you think they are?”

He stares a little longer, and then very carefully does not say anything as she pushes her sleeve back down.

“So can I look at your blood?” she asks again.

“Uh--”

“You can look at mine under a microscope,” she wheedles. “You can’t take any, though.”

Anakin... does eventually agree. Eventually.

-----------

There is a very angry redhead yelling at a machine, and Anakin does not know what to do.

“Is something wr--”

“What the fuck is your blood?” she demands. “It’s glowing in ultraviolet. It burned the dye up. I tried to sequence your genome--”

“Woah, I did not agree to that.”

“--and look at this. Look at this!”

“I don’t know how to read your graphs. None of this is a language I know.”

“It’s garbage,” she hisses at him. Glot takes a few moments to process it. “Look at this. This is supposed to--fuck, where’s the Jiraiya file, he’s standard--this is what it’s supposed to look like for most humans with chakra. And this is a civilian, and a few bloodline users--”

“Do you just carry these around with you?”

“Shut up, you don’t exist. You have--you have more in common with summons than people. I ran a blood test on one of your human diplomats, the ones that aren’t monks--”

“When did they agree to that?”

“They didn’t, I’m just sneaky.”

“I should tell Obi-W--”

“STAY THERE, I’M NOT DONE YELLING YET. Do you see this? Do you see this shit? This is the one and only time I’ve managed to perform any kind of analysis on a bijuu. They don’t usually have blood. Shukaku is sand. Matatabi is literally just fire. This was almost impossible to make happen, but I did it because I’m a dedicated biomedical resea--”

“Because you’re unhinged.”

“--rcher, and you know what? You know what I’ve found?”

“What?”

“Your blood looks like you’re half demon,” she says, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking, a little wild-eyed and clearly pissed at him. “Half of it’s human! Half of it looks like the non-physical chakra manifestations that were torn-apart remnants of a godlike demon. The fuckers can’t die. They also can’t breed. They don’t have reproductive organs! This isn’t just demon-tainted like a jinchuuriki, I’ve got that analyzed--”

“Why?”

“Because my cousin’s a moron, don’t change the subject. You--you shouldn’t exist. Your blood is stupid. Fuck, is this what I’d find if I analyzed the Sage of the Six Paths?”

“The what?”

She ignores him, frowning at papers. “Is--I need to call Haruno, she might still have some of Kaguya’s blood dried on her old gloves from the war, I know she kept those as a souvenir from the whole ‘punched a god’ thing.”

“I’m sorry, the what?”

“There was a thing a few years back, godlike alien demon princess who got sealed into a moon by her sons a thousand years ago, but her immortal sentient goo child brought her back with a giant tree that consumed all the tailed beasts-the flaming fox you saw earlier is one of them--and then used a giant eyeball to reflect off the moon to put everyone in a hallucination at the same time so she could eat our life-forces,” Karin dismisses. “It’s not important.”

“There is--what?”

Jedi see many things. Many of those things are very strange.

This is a little much even for Anakin.

“It’s over, if you want the actual details, talk to my idiot cousin,” she huffs. “But now I need to run comparisons between the actual nonsense that is your entire existence and the actual nonsense that is my cousin’s existence, and maybe Sasuke’s... fuck this is going to be a mess, I’m going to have to cross-reference all the clans with bloodlines we know are derived from Kaguya, she’s the only angle we have on gods like that, unless... maybe there’s still some black Zetsu goo somewhere... Orochimaru must have kept a sample...”

“Uh, can I--can I go? I’m not comfortable here.”

“I need to find Naruto so he can call the Sage of the Six Paths out of the afterlife so I can see if I can get blood from a ghost to compare to yours.”

[leviiattacks]

I loved Ceo Levi so can I request Ceo Levi comforting the reader because she’s in financial trouble? Idk the plot it’s up to you but that sort of idea. I hope it’s not too much of a bother!! Also happy birthday ❤️

author note :: very rushed and not that great at all but i hope it’s enjoyable anon !! also thank u for the birthday wish <333 if you’d like for me to idk expand on this request you can always request again my ask box is open !! <33333 word count :: 1.5k

levi’s worried about you

like super worried

ultra worried

mega, super, ultra worried?????

all the synonyms for large aren’t enough to explain how distracted he is whilst he stares at you from across the table.

the entire team meeting today you’ve sat down with a glazed expression, you’re clearly out of it and don’t want to be present

on a few occasions he notices you gnaw at your lips anxiously and your eyes shift everywhere showing you’re clearly uncomfortable

team meetings are normally two hours long on a monday to discuss production plans extensively but levi can’t even make it to the thirty minute mark before he’s dismissing everyone

“we’re ending early i don’t feel well.”

mr ackerman letting the team leave early again... it’s the second time he’s done it now but HEY, the employees have no complaints!!

levi knows something’s bothering you when you don’t move an inch from your seat

you probably haven’t even heard what he said about leaving because you’re so zoned out

now,,,,levi’s never really been big on physical contact and he’s not great at comforting or using words either but he still double checks the door is locked so he can speak to you privately

you start sobbing as soon as the sound of the door clicks

“y/n, what’s wrong?” he’s cautious in his approach but places a hand on top of yours gently to test the waters

but you only start crying even more ?!?,!,

which panics him because oh my god what did he do...???,?.

did he do something wrong???

you know what, he’s just going to copy what people do in the movies and hope it goes well

your sobs echo through the room and he thanks himself that the cement walls are definitely thick enough for you to not be heard by your colleagues

slowly but gradually you get a grip and it almost looks like you have to force yourself to a halt midway just to wipe the tears at your eyes

it’s at times like these that levi thanks you for having an expressive face because he would hate to not notice you felt this horrible

“i suggest you carry on if you haven’t got it all out yet. from personal experience it’s better when someone sits with you.”

levi’s warm words embrace you and you look at his arms then his heat pressed suit. he’s in a completely different world compared to you and a feeling of sickness soon overpowers the warm feeling in your chest

why are you sitting here and crying like a pathetic fool in front of your boss??

ok, maybe he’s a little more personal than a boss you aren’t sure what he really is but that doesn’t matter

“y/n, i have something to say.”

FUCK. this is it. you’ll be fired for being unprofessional and improper. this is IT. the end of your professional career.

you want to run out of this room at full speed and hurl yourself out of one of the windows never to be seen again...

but,, you won’t do that, that’s embarrassing

instead you steel yourself and look at him with as much courage as you can muster (which to be clear is not very much)

“if you ever need to take a day off for mental health reasons you’ve always been allowed to so please feel free to take the rest of the day off if you’d like.”

he’s... not firing you?

“but before that, would you like to let me know what’s happened? can i maybe help?”

you purse your lips feeling the premature humiliation

he can help, anyone with as much money as him can but you don’t want him to aid you. the guilt would eat you away

but you do want to confide in him and tell him what’s wrong

you want to tell someone about it at least

“i’ve been evicted from my apartment” your voice is barely above a whisper and levi just looks at you mouth agape

he pays you enough to live comfortably

how could you be getting evicted?

“i have to pay for my mother’s medical expenses so it’s stressful i send most of my earnings hom-”

levi shushes you with his input. “i’ll pay off the debt so you don’t be evicted and i’ll also give you a pay rise.”

at that you’re just pure shocked

is he even thinking right now???

because this isn’t the strong willed strategic business man you know

“no??? i can’t leech off of you??”

“you’re not leeching. i am investing in you.”

you’re a little lost now but choose to hear him out

“you work for me already and i greatly value your work. now you’re in a tough position. correct?”

you nod your head in response

“and for you to still work for me you’ll need a home. correct?”

again you nod

“so allow me to pay off the debts. it’s for both of our benefit.”

that however really isn’t levi’s reasoning at all. he couldn’t care less about that, he just doesn’t want to see you shoulder the pain and stress of it all alone

staring at him teary eyed you sniffle

“would you-” your voice cracks and you cough “really???”

you look so desperate and vulnerable and levi feels frustrated for not spotting the warning signs of your struggle any sooner

you had been coming to the office looking more restless, you had been drinking more coffee and despite the excessive caffeine consumption he still caught you dozing off at your desk at least four times

he places a hand on the centre of your back and pats you three times as if you’re members on the same ship

“yes i mean it, take it easy.”

his simple sentence is enough to cause all of your rational thinking to jump away and you drag him in by the neck into a tight hug

you’re ugly crying and you know you’ll look back on this in embarrassment but your mind works on impulse, you’re unable to stop it

usually levi doesn’t like anyone messing up his suits but he can make an exception for you. he’s sure your tears have left a moist patch but he’s not mad. hell, even if you get snot on his expensive dress shirt he’ll be okay with it

“is there any way i can pay you back mr ackerman?”

he winces at the formality of your tone

“call me levi.”

your brows raise at the request

“that’s what i want in return. for you to call me levi.”

????

that’s all???

“oh, well thank you levi. i’m grateful...”

his name rolls off your tongue awkwardly the first few times and even he regrets asking you to call him by his first name

but three days later you’re walking in breezily. a pen is tucked behind your ear and you’re double checking levi’s spending sheet with a calculator in your hands.

levi literally STOPS breathing because you look so refreshed today and the colour is back on your face. you look your best when you’re stress free.

and then you say it

“levi, do you think you could spend a bit less on tea bags because OH MY LORD???”

he notices there’s no longer an air of discomfort to his name and his chest swells happily

“y/n, give me ONE good reason to not spend my money that way??”

you notice how he easily he says your first name with an airy chuckle and you could almost... ALMOST... swear the two of you are flirting

to anyone observing with no sound he looks as nonchalant as normal but really the tone of his voice is implying the suggestive nature of conversation

“maybe you should spend your money on other things you like?” your suggestion is thrown back in your face when levi scoffs choking back a laugh

“i already am spending my money on other interests of mine.”

turning to face him and to hand him a file of paperwork you look him right in the eyes

“and what interests would those be?”

levi’s gaze meander down to your lips before shooting back up to your eyes and you swear you feel a tingle in the pit of your stomach

“i’ll let you figure that out on your own. you’re smart enough.”

you’re gaping at that reply because how are you meant to know???

but, the answer to your question is far more obvious than you think.

and it’s only after work whilst you’re eating dinner that you’re able to connect the dots

he was, talking about...you??

gasping you flush bright pink and bury your face into one of your sofa’s pillows

no way, there’s no way that happened

oh no, but there really is a way

and that way is levi ackerman ;-)

[simplysummers]

Hannah and Bea watch Star Wars

A few weeks ago, my bestie @floatyteabag (Hannah) and I (Bea) watched Star Wars: Attack of the Clones together. I, being a lifelong Star Wars nerd and a lover of all things Obi-Wan, somehow managed to rope this awesome human into watching the second sequel with me, keeping in mind she had never seen them before.

This is some of our live commentary, lacking in any context, which I felt needed to be shared with you all. I’m also leaving absolutely no indication as to who said what, to make it even funnier.

“FUCKING HELL WTF THEY BLEW UP ALREADY”

“R2 rolling about, he don’t give a fuck.”

“The face of a man who was WRONG.”

“Imagine R2 but as a hoover/vacuum. Perfection”

“‘He wouldn’t assassinate anyone’ 0-0 bro anyone named Count Dooku ain’t a good bro, bro”

“I don’t trust this man.” “I won’t spoil anything but you really shouldn’t lmao.”

“Captain Tofu?”

“Ooo someone’s in trouble. It’s me, idk why I said that”

“It’s better than my croissant attempt.”

“‘She’s a politician and they’re not to be trusted’ THAT IS THE BEST QUOTE”

“Ew look at the centipedes”

“How is she asleep like that. I would’ve had cramp in my wrist after 5 minutes.”

“HE JUST YEETED HIMSELF OUT OF THE WINDOW.”

“Anakin is me driving.” “Obi-Wan is me in your passenger seat.”

“We’d be a menace to society but that’s their problem, not ours.”

“He fully skydived out of the car.”

“Obi-Wan is so chill. He’s just ‘>_> hate it when he does that’ like he’s done this before??? Aight”

“‘I want to go home and rethink my life’ same babes.”

“Omg Bea that is legit us, me being Anakin, the underage loser.”

“Bestie we ARE Anakin and Obi-Wan.”

“ITS BOBA FETT. No it’s not. YES IT IS. Hmmm.”

“Boba Fettacini.”

“Yoda floating around on the wii fit board.”

“Padme who let you lead a country.”

“WE ARE HANNAKIN AND OBEA-WAN.”

“Rocking up to space McDonalds” “I’d order a milkshake.”

“I stg if I become attached to this Cody dude.” “I’m VERY attached to the clones and it never ends well in Star Wars, so I’m dragging you down with me.”

“Look at the Pixar lamps!”

“He VIOLATED him for no reason!”

“PADME YOU DID NOT JUST SHOOT HIM DOWN WITH NO DEFENCE.”

“All I see are some cotton earbuds”

“So there’s like 50 clones of the same person running around?” “…..much more than 50.”

“Anakin, many things are smooth on that planet and you are NOT one of them.”

“Padme was over it before it had even begun.”

“Absolute kings. They deserve their own show….wait they have their own show….they deserve MORE Then.”

“🎵 the hiiiiiiilllss are aliiiiiiiive 🎵”

“Anakin’s a communist confirmed-“

“OH MY HOLY ITS THE MEME.”

“Yes. Step on Anakin”

“Calm down Harry Potter with your floating Pear.”

“Anakin thinks he’s Shakespeare.”

“An extract from The Prelude: by Anakin Skywalker 🌺”

“I want a jet pack.”

“Ohh kick him!”

“Love how Boba, who is like ten, is just *shooty mcshooty*”

“‘Oh not good’ BABES LET GO”

“Hmmm yes ship is flying away *activates glowstick*” “it’s for the aesthetic.”

“Hey Ani, uh I kinda sold your Mom to some rando but hey we’re still cool right??”

“Boba: hehehehehe 😄”

“‘Get him dad, get him, FIRE’ this isn’t CALL OF DUTY, BOBA.”

“Mothman wannabe.”

“Obi-Wan: I’m an international…superspy. SUPERSPYYYYYY.”

“Why is Tom Jones there?”

“she can’t die! I’m actually crying…..never mind I started laughing at Anakin’s face.”

“Lmao I love how Obi-Wan was talking for a straight minute and R2 was like ‘I’m busy sir, the audacity.’”

“‘It’s all Obi-Wan’s fault!’ Babes Obi-Wan isnt with you.” “Anakin take a chill pill!”

“‘R2 what are you doing here’ that’s fucking rude. Let him be.”

“Poor Jar Jar he just wants to make friends.”

“Don’t speak of Qui-Gon you HOE.”

“Count Dooku, turning on his voice chair: I want you on my team, Obi-Wan.”

“Parliament would be so much better if they floated in those pods.”

“Padme: maybe I can find a diplomatic solution to this.’ Anakin: *grabs glowstick*”

“‘Obtuse’ 3PO HOW DARE YOU.”

“Someone put Padme on total wipeout.”

“‘I want to go home’ ‘what did I do to deserve this’ 3PO is too relatable.”

“Padme chose the wrong day to wear white.”

“‘Obi-Wan’s gonna kill me’ priorities dude”

“‘Good job’ sass king.”

“Obi-Wan- the king of puns.”

“How is Padme not crying.” “Legit. I bang my hip on the bed frame and it’s like almost waterworks.”

“Ahhhhh my kings they are coming.”

“Oooo a purple wand.”

“Jango doing the spiny gun thing. Show off.”

“I know he did NOT just decapitate jango.” “And his son was just 0-0 off to the side.”

“‘I am beside myself.’ I WISH I WAS THIS QUICK.”

“I care too much about the clones I swear to god.”

“I WANT TO BE IN THE POD WITH THE GUN.” “YOU IN THE GUNNERS NEST WOULD BE FERAL.”

“Ooooo hamster wheels.”

“‘PAHDMAHY’”

“Anakin you pleb.”

“If he has a red glowstick you know he’s a bad guy.”

“That clone just wanted an excuse to go home”

“He just straight up lost an arm. Hope he’s not right handed.”

“Bet Yoda’s glowstick is green……BAM.”

“THE CLONE WARS HAS BEGUN BABBYYYYYY.”

“PALPATINE NEEDS TO DO A BETTER JOB AT HIDING HIS CHIN.”

“‘Without the clones it wouldn’t have been a victory’ too fucking right. My boys deserve recognition.”

“The clones carried this.” “The clones carry everything these losers do.”

“MARRIAGE?!????”

“It’s like a Vegas wedding. ✨ spontaneous ✨”

This was genuinely the most fun I’ve had watching a Star Wars movie with anyone. Han’ is hilarious and together we destroyed the movie while ironically loving it. We’ve watched ROTS, up next is Solo. And I actually cannot wait for that trainwreck.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: Vlive Asks and comment/chat discussions

From @cottoncandykings​: Hello! As u probably know jimin just went live recently and again he mentioned mandaggo and discussing about doing it with tae. I just find it so weird though. I mean jimin keeps constantly mentioning it and its not like vminnies were begging or dying for a vmin live everyday even before jimin mentioned it last year. Even now most including myself dont really care that much ofc i m happy if they do one together. But the way jimin keeps mentioning it is so weird. Like surely if he wanted to do it so badly he could have talked to tae privately and arranged it by now. And if tae is the one that doesnt want to do it then idk why jimin is pushing it. But what was really weird to me this time was that he said there were lots of comments about mandaggo yesterday in zoom call and yet they didnt mention it yesterday but suddenly today without prompting he talks about it. I also hope no one spammed the zoom call chat or the vlive chat with requests for vmin live (i didnt see any) bcoz thats just unnecessary and demanding. I hope vminnies wont demand/ ask for another memeber when one of them is live. Its just disrespectful. This turned into a rant sorry. Do you think it was weird too?

Since Admin 2 can’t type their thoughts themselves, I’ll relay their thoughts to you instead, since they had more thoughts/opinions/ideas in regard to this than I do, to be honest.

Admin 2 is sure that there is a good chance that we will get a vmin vlive sometime soon, which I know contradicts their original opinion and post from a few months ago, but there’s a reason for it. During the zoom meeting between BTS and ARMY they noticed something I don’t think anyone else noticed, or at least neither of us has seen any vminnies mention it anywhere, which in conjunction with Jimin’s vlive today and saying how he’d talk to Tae about doing a mandaggo vlive again, as well as another observation a little while ago, leads them to this conclusion.

So, the observation from the zoom meeting. Basically at one point when the question of Jimin doing a vlive arose Tae looks at Jimin and then he nods while smiling which in turn makes Jimin smile as he turns away from Tae and back to face toward the camera before answering the question and saying how he’ll come visit us the next day. Which he did.

Then the other observation from a while ago, this one being from their OT7 vlive celebrating their BBH100 #1 on June 29th where at one point Jimin says something but slips into satoori after which Tae encourages him to say that again but this time in the Seoul accent, so the way they actually should speak, which Jimin says isn’t difficult but he doesn’t actually end up repeating what he said.

And lastly in today’s vlive Jimin mentioned how he’s using satoori quite often but that he isn’t all that good at doing it on command or at teaching it to others, which is something he’d have to do for mandaggo but I’m sure he’d manage just fine if the time came for it.

Based on that Admin 2′s thoughts are basically that Jimin really meant it when he said, last year, that he’ll bring Tae around for a vlive, that it wasn’t a joke or a way to tease us with something he knew he wouldn’t be able to deliver, but rather that up until this point they weren’t quite sure how to do it. Which sounds a bit odd, I know, but what they mean is that if vmin were to just sit down in front of the camera and were supposed to just talk based on what the chat would give them, it would likely just turn out awkward and weird and no one, including them, would really have fun. Even more so when we take into account how idiotic the chat is during regular vlives so now imagine if those two were to do one together that’s just a casual chat. It would likely end up in disaster and honestly I wouldn’t wish it upon them to read all those awful comments that they would likely get, even worse ones than they already get normally, to be honest.

But now that the whole satoori thing was brought up, and Jimin actually mentioned mandaggo and wanting to bring it back after so many years, Admin 2 thinks that they must’ve finally figured out a solution to their problem, if you can call it that. Doing mandaggo would basically mean they would have an activity, something to do similar to how they did those ASMR videos for the Japanese Fan Club which were fun and cute, and so Admin 2 thinks that perhaps chances are we will finally get the vlive we’ve waited for so long (though like many others I’ve long given up the idea).

Another confirmation is that during his vlive today Jimin basically said that he only came by for a little while since they are quite busy and had to soon get ready for work with the other members but that he’ll return in two or three weeks for a more proper, longer, vlive. So, he could’ve treated today’s vlive as the promised one but instead he saw it more as a bridging one between the zoom meeting and the proper vlive he wants to do, so is it the farfetched to think that he had proper plans for a vlive, like doing mandaggo, but it just wouldn’t have worked out time wise today so he moved the actual vlive he wanted to make to a later date?

One last thing (well two actually) that has nothing to do with this question but Admin 2 wanted me to include it anyway is that one, have you noticed how Tae and Jimin were both on weverse around 3 am (until almost 4am (also both of them posting a comment to some post at 03:41 am KST)) one after the other (though with one day of a break in between them) recently and then also two, that Jimin was up until like 6 am (since he posted on weverse around that time) on the 8th and then during the zoom meeting Tae answered a question by saying that he’d been awake until 6 am the previous day (also the 8th) since he wanted to see the sunrise? Which is also something an anon mentioned to us. Curious, isn’t it?

From anon: I request both admins to please post this ask. So jimin wwnt live today and one of the accounts on twt posted a screen cap of them commenting 'touch your hair if vmin is real' in the live chat and jimin's reaction to it. Now idk if it is an edit or real. No matter i just want to say its not ok to bring up ships in front of the members no matter which ship it is. We dont know the reality of their relationship so lets not make them uncomfortable. Its not a joke. Its not funny. Be respectful the members are real people.

(Admin 1 taking over from this point onward) This ask nicely ties into the last one that’ll be further down in this post since they cover a similar issue of sorts. But let’s start with this one asking about, essentially, vlive comments and the things fans ask/comment, which also ties in with the above ask as well.

The thing with the vlive chat, and especially comments/questions that are like anon said, questions or “commands/requests” about touch your hair if XYZ ship is real or cough twice if you love XYZ member or, likewise, comments such as where is XYZ member or what are the other members doing, unfortunately those have been a steady and unchanging part of the vlive chat since basically forever. It’s been an issue on and off with different intensities though I feel like it’s gotten worse again this year. Particularly if we look back at the vlive Tae did with Hobi and Yoongi and how essentially the entire chat was filled with comments related to Xkook and not much else.

If my memory doesn’t fail me we once even had a situation some years ago (2016) where the chat during Hobi’s vlive was so bad, as in so full of questions about that other members instead of him, that you could see he was upset about it and eventually he handed over the vlive to Jimin, whom the chat had requested Hobi to visit, and Hobi just left. And I can’t blame him for it since the chat must’ve made him feel like basically no one cared about him so what was even the point of him being there, right?

Personally I’ve long given up looking at the comments during vlive because they just make me cringe and feel bad for the members, especially when I think back to vlives such as Yoongi’s D2 one last year where he was so excited to talk about the songs and the process of making the mixtape and yet so many of the comments were just unrelated nonsense and annoying request like speak english or can you say my name or say hello in XYZ language. If it makes me question why the people posting those questions are in the chat, why they are fans to begin with, imagine what the members must feel like, how discouraging that must feel like. After all they are musicians and yet so rarely do they get questions about that. Or rather they do get them but they are just drowned out by nonsense. Which is a shame. And also very disrespectful but any attempts that were made to remind people to be respectful, to remember their place as fans, to focus on the member that’s doing the vlive instead of asking about the others, and to keep ships away from the members have failed because some don’t care and will continue to not care.

From anon: what are your opinions on the Qs that were asked during that zoom meeting thing between BTS and ARMY?

Now I’d like to preface my answer to this last question by saying that by no means do my grievances come from a place of jealousy or anything. I’m very happy for all the ARMYs that won their spot, that they got to participate in the event and that BTS got to see ARMYs again even if only on screens and not in person still. No, my issue stems from something completely different, and I don’t want to say that the system chose the wrong people, because that would be mean and also who even knows how the winners were chosen, if it was pure luck or there were some actual criteria that went into the process, but the fact is that only a select 200 ARMYs got that spot out of however many that applied, so basically for some this was a once in a lifetime chance, right, even just getting this close to asking Bangtan a question and have really great chances of having them give you an answer while acknowledging you somewhat instead of just seeing pure words on a screen, you know what I mean?

Now imagine you are one of those 200 ARMYs and you get the chance to fill the chat with questions along with the other 49 participants of your session and you decide that asking questions such as what it’s like for Jimin to work as angel, if Namjoon ever broke a bicycle, or why JK smells the crowns of the other members heads? Or even worse, you decide to ask about JKs shower routine and in which order he washes his body? And sure, the “fault” doesn’t fall completely on the ARMYs alone, after all it’s the members who read out those questions and not some magical off screen entity, and since I wasn’t part of the event I can’t say with a hundred percent certainty that no one asked any “proper” questions, but if those were the questions that ended up being read out loud, is it that hard to guess that likely all the questions looked similarly? 

Which brings me to my main grievance of it all: have you forgotten that you are fans of musicians and not reality TV stars or vloggers/influencers? I know there were likely no rules for what questions you could or couldn’t ask (except for probably ones that were 100% about shipping or far too personal), but really, you get to ask your favorite band a question, something you might never, ever get the chance to do again, and your first thought isn’t to ask about their music but instead about some unimportant nonsense like the angel question or if they differentiate between the clothes they wear at home and those they sleep in? Like sure the angel one was kinda funny, maybe, and Jimin handled it in a cute way, I applaud him for it, but was that really necessary?

I know someone asked JK about Decalcomania, as well as Tae about his mixtape, and Yoongi/Jimin about Tony Montana (season 2), but other than that were there any other questions about their music? Perhaps I’m overthinking things, maybe I’m exaggerating and maybe I’m the only one who sees an issue with this, but if I would’ve won a spot, I’d rather have asked something about their process when writing lyrics or creating beats or how they prepare when learning new choreographies, what it’s like to be on tour (though perhaps that would be a mean question seeing as tours aren’t really something that’ll continue being possible for a while still), you get the point.

It makes me wonder if it was just bad luck or if it had something to do with how old the participants were (I saw some being as young as fifteen), which isn’t to say that teens can’t ask smart questions because they definitely can just like adults can ask stupid ones as well, but somewhere something, in my opinion, just went weirdly. And maybe that was the point of it all, for the event to be casual, funny, lighthearted, but my question then is when is the time for music discussions? For fans to ask those types of questions that actually have something to do with the boys careers? When even journalists aren’t asking them proper questions, ARMYs aren’t either, so what is the point of it all then?

Then again, after the event concluded and Seokjin came onto vlive he seemed so happy and excited, so maybe they had fun (I mean they seemed to have fun) and didn’t mind at all that the questions were lighthearted and silly, maybe I’m the one making mountains out of molehills. I don’t know, but anon wanted to know my thoughts/opinions, and this is them. Once again, I don’t mean to be mean toward the ARMYs that got rightfully in, that won, and I don’t want to insult them for the questions they asked, perhaps I just expected/hoped for something a little different? And perhaps I’m the only one. I don’t know. 

[kolachess]

DMBJ Names and Honorifics Explained - Don’t trust the subs!

I’ve no idea if someone has already made such a post, but I really like explaining Chinese as it’s also good practice for me, so here we go.

If you are a non-Chinese speaker, you might have noticed inconsistencies in subs when referring to all the different characters. And / or that the names don’t seem to match up to the sound of the name. 

So here’s a little cultural and character guide to understanding DMBJ names.

Why are there so many names, nicknames, and honorifics for one person in a Chinese drama? To chalk this all up to nicknames is... grossly over-simplifying things. The thing with names / honorifics is very rooted in Chinese culture itself. Chinese culture is one heavily indexed on relations and hierarchy, so depending on your place in the ‘hierarchy’, whether it’s society or family, you will refer to each other as different things. As an example to illustrate complexity, where in English, ‘uncle’ refers to all male siblings of either of your parents, in Chinese, your father’s younger brother is addressed differently from your father’s older brother and also different from your mother’s brother. 

Chinese names and translation to English - Space? No space? Hyphens? Last name first?

So Chinese is a pictographic language. Each ‘character’ is one word, and one syllable exactly. Hence, you don’t need spaces or hyphens or anything in Chinese. Spaces and hyphens when romanized are purely for English speakers’ convenience. 

For example, in Chinese, the names would be written as wuxie, wusanxing, wangpangzi, etc. (And no such thing as capitalization either.) As a general rule of thumb, because for documentation purposes, the surname is separated out, Chinese people generally end up writing the given name all smushed together even if they are 2 words.

And yes, the surname always goes first. Other way is just... weird. Never happens.

Can you space out two words of a given name? Sure I suppose. Probably less seen.

As for hyphens with honorifics... sure? I’m not sure if smush together or hyphen is more official actually... 

What are Chinese names? How do people pick a name?

Unlike English names, Chinese people compose their names. Which means... you can have anything from names that have literary eloquence and deeper meaning，like ‘Wu Xie’, where ‘Wu’ is homonymous with ‘Without’ and ‘Xie’ means ‘Evil’, so Wu Xie’s name carries the meaning of ‘no evil’...

...to names that have little to no deep meaning and sometimes downright stupid sounding, like ‘Wang Pangzi’ which does indeed translate to Wang Fatty lol.

That’s why if you ask Chinese people to provide common Chinese names, they’ll stare at you blankly. Of course, that’s not to say there aren’t some popular names, given people sometimes name themselves after famous people and there are plenty of generic ones as well.

But this is also why, when meeting for the first time, you might hear a lot of people explaining how their name is written (i.e. with which word), because there are a looooot of homonymous words and it’s impossible to tell how write someone’s name without them ‘spelling it out’.

How do Chinese people call each other by name?

Most Chinese names (surname + given name) will form 2-3 syllables (very rarely there will be 4). 

General rule of thumb:

- Using someone’s full name is always generally acceptable (not to be confused with addressing them... that’s a whole different game).

- You never refer to someone with one syllable. Which means if their given name is only one syllable, you pretty much always say both surname + given name together (Hence why Wu Xie is always Wu Xie and never ‘Xie’). If their given name is two syllables, you might call them by given name only if you’re familiar. 

Of course, there are tons of ways to give people nicknames (more explanation below), so you might end up only using one syllable of someone’s name, but in conjunction with another prefix / suffix of sorts.

So yes, the subs say ‘Zhang’ for Zhang Qiling but that’s BS no one has ever referred to him as simply ‘Zhang’. And for that matter, no one ever refers to him as simply Qiling either, though that’s more out of habit than any rules of names. And finally, they rarely refer to him as Zhang Qiling at all... more explanation below.

Basic ‘prefix’ / ‘suffix’ / ‘honorific’ introductions relevant for DMBJ

These aren’t really prefixes and suffixes and honorifics. They’re simply words. But for sake of simplicity, let’s just treat them as that.

-ye (sounds like ‘yeah’) = ‘Grandpa’ of the generic ‘old man’ sense, but also ‘master’ or ‘lord’ to indicate status / respect. 

Example usage: Wu Sanxing (Wu Xie’s third uncle) - People like Pan Zi call him Sanye, which means ‘Third Master’. 

It can also be casually used by someone to refer to themselves in third person and indicate their ‘prowess’. Again, due to Chinese cultural relations, there’s a lot of emphasis on hierarchy, so people often humorously refer to themselves in third person with a title of more seniority (’this ancestor’ or ‘this old miss’). 

Example usage: Pangzi always referring to himself as Pangye. ‘Make way, Pangye is coming in clutch with the bombs!’.

-shu (sounds more like ‘soo’) = ‘Uncle’. This can be an uncle related, or not. 

Example usage: Wu Sanxing (Wu Xie’s third uncle). Wu Xie and his peers will generally call him Sanshu, because they’re of the same generation and need to call Sanshu with some level of respect. Of course, Sanye is also respectful, so certainly Pangzi can call him Sanye. But Pangzi calling him Wu Sanxing would be disrespectful. (Zhang Qiling on the other hand, technically can call him whatever since he’s the oldest haha).

-ayi (sounds like ‘ah-yee’) = ‘Aunt’. Similar as uncle. 

Example usage: Chen Wenjing (in Ultimate Note, Sanshu’s former girlfriend). You’ll notice Wu Xie addressed her as Wenjing-ayi. Of course, since she was a bit less familiar with them, and wasn’t always around, he and others will refer to her as simply Chen Wenjing... it’s complicated. The nuances of when it’s ok to leave off the suffix is an art form lol.

-ge (sounds like ‘guh’) = ‘older brother’. Can also be related or not. Can be used alone, or doubled up (which tends to be cuter).

Example usage: Huo Xiuxiu refers to Wu Xie as ‘Wu Xie-gege’ and Xie Yuchen as ‘Xiao Hua-gege’. Pangzi told Yun Cai (the girl he crushed on) to call him ‘Pangge’. And yes! This is the ‘ge’ in Xiaoge. More explanation below.

Xiao (sounds like ‘shall’) = ‘Small’ or ‘Little’. This is often used in creating a nickname and used first before a name.

Example usage: Wu Xie’s second uncle will refer to him as ‘Xiao Xie’. Wu Xie refers to Xie Yuchen as ‘Xiao Hua’, which translates to ‘Little Flower’ and is a nickname based off his stage name, Jie Yuhua. And yes! This is the ‘xiao’ in Xiaoge. More explanation below (because translating it as ‘little older brother’ makes no sense I know).

Lao (sounds like ‘lao’ lol) = ‘Old’. Similar usage as ‘xiao’.

Example usage: I think I remember Granny Huo perhaps referring to Wu Laogou (Wu Xie’s grandfather) as ‘Lao Wu’?  But also, yes, his actual name has that word too.

Numbers - Numbers are very commonly used in nicknames.

Er (sounds like ‘are’) = Two / Second.

San (sounds like ‘san’ lol idk) = Three / Third.

Hence why Wu Xie refers to his uncles as ‘Sanshu’ and ‘Ershu’. (And yes, their names themselves also conveniently carry the numbers...)

You’ll never say ‘one’ though. Instead, ‘da’ or big / large is used.

Names of the characters

Wow so only after all that can we begin to explain the many names... Let’s begin.

Wu Xie - Wu Xie is actually the most straightforward thank god. Most people will call him this, Zhang Qiling included.

AKA Tianzhen or even Xiao Tianzhen - This is nickname provided Pangzi gave him meaning ‘naive’ or ‘innocent’, and what Pangzi calls him most if not all the time. There’s a phrase in Chinese too called ‘tianzhenwuxie’ to mean innocent, carefree, and pure. The ‘wu’ there is a different but homonymous word with Wu Xie’s ‘Wu’, but the meaning and reference is clear (Chinese has looooots of homonyms and puns). This is also why that phrase ‘My lifetime, in exchange for you a decade of innocence and purity.’ from Zhang Qiling to Wu Xie is so heart-wrenching, because those last four Chinese words are ‘tianzhenwuxie’, a poetic play on his two names. 😭 

AKA Xiao Xie - Called by his second uncle, Wu Erbai

AKA Da Zhizi - Called by his third uncle, meaning ‘big nephew’. ‘Da’ here just means the oldest really. Wu Xie is Wu Sanxing’s oldest (but also only) nephew. And ‘nephew’ here too specifically refers to the son of your brother.

AKA Xiao Sanye - Called by Pan Zi, Bai Haotian (from Lost Tomb Reboot). Sanye here is in reference to how he dogs his third uncle’s footsteps all the time. And he’s the younger version so... there.

AKA Laoban or Wu-laoban - Called by Wang Meng, business partners because laoban means ‘boss’.

Zhang Qiling - Whew OK honestly, I don’t think of him as ‘Zhang Qiling’ much at all, because very rarely do any of the other characters refer to him as Zhang Qiling. Most of the time it’s...

AKA Xiaoge - This is what Wu Xie and Pangzi refer to him a lot as. Xiaoge literally translates to ‘little big brother’, but that meaning is weird in English. So don’t think of it that way. Xiaoge is just a generic term for a young guy. Like... ‘lad’? Lol. But he’s all mysterious and stuff so the generic term just stuck. This is also why in Tomb of the Sea, someone referred to Li Cu as ‘xiaoge’, because he was indeed a xiaoge. But in Wu Xie’s heart, there’s only one Xiaoge. ❤️

AKA Menyouping - The name of this ship! Pingxie! This is what Wu Xie referred to him mostly as in his first POV novel. It means ‘stuffy oil bottle’ and communicates the sentiment of ‘poker face’ or just someone with no expressions.

Note on Zhang Qiling: This name is actually a title rather than a name. Qiling is the title given to the Zhang patriarch responsible for handling the spirits of their ancestors... eh it’s complicated and warrants its own post if you want to know more.

Note on ‘Kylin’: I know this is what the official translations had it, but like... wtf. What, no. Like, idk what happened here, but this is a terrible mistranslation. ‘Kylin’ or ‘Qilin’ is the name of the mystical beast of which Zhang Qiling has a tattoo of, but it is two entirely different words from the ‘Qiling’. Don’t let the similarity in English spelling fool you. Completely different words. Some translator thought Kylin might market better probably. But... no. It’s just wrong. I have to do a double-take when I see people writing ‘Kylin’. Come on translators, have more faith in your English speaking audience. Fans can adapt! Don’t butcher the name for sake of marketability!

Wang Pangzi - Yes, ‘Fatty’ is the accurate translation haha. Most people refer to him as Pangzi, including Wu Xie and Zhang Qiling.

AKA Pangye - Referred to by Pangzi himself, but also sometimes people who are trying to suck up to Pangzi.

AKA Pangge - Referred to by his love interests.

Wu Sanxing - Wu Xie’s third uncle. See, I don’t even know what to call him by default because I’m not sure what the subs tend to say. 

AKA Sanshu - Wu Xie and his friends will call him this.

AKA Sanye - Pan Zi and other people in the industry will call him this.

Hei Yanjing - Again, I’ve no idea which name to use as his primary. Translates literally to ‘sunglasses’. Not technically ‘black sunglasses because that’s redundant’. See, even the spacing between his name here is unnecessary because this isn’t his official name, only a nickname. I don’t think we have his real name. But this version is generally called by most others I think?

AKA Hei Xiazi - This means ‘black blind person’, and is what Xiaoge refers to him as... and some others.

AKA Heiye - Just a more respectful reference. Called by Xie Yuchen.

Xie Yuchen - Called by Xiaoge and others less familiar.

Jie Yuhua - His stage name.

Xiao Hua - Called by Wu Xie, as it’s a nickname built off of his stage name.

Huaye - Called by Hei Yanjing and Pangzi, but more so out of humorous flattery than anything. 

.

.

Whew that was a lot. Just be glad this isn’t MDZS where people had courtesy names on top of all these names... I think I’ll stop there, but feel free to shoot me any questions about other characters!

[lightsaberupmybutt]

These Violent Delights  - Darth Vader x FemReader

Yer idk why I wrote this either. I’m not ashamed though. And if you read this you’re just as bad as I am for writing it. No more said . Enjoy

Word Count: 1377

Warnings : explicit, brief mentions of smut but nothing too heavy, bit angsty, mentions of violence (but if you’re here then I’m sure that doesn’t put you off), kinda out of character (I've tried, but darth isn't a shagger, not canon anyway) 

There was not a day that went by when you didn't consider yourself the stupidest bitch on the planet;  scratch that the universe 

You were aware that what you were doing was so dumb that even you couldn't reason it logically. 

Its not like you didn't have options, theres plenty of suitors out there who would be more than happy to take you up on the offer of a night with you.

With this knowledge in mind, you still always fine yourself in the company of possibly the most dangerous man (if you can even call him that) to ever exist.

You wish you'd had the excuse of knowing him before he was vader, wish that you could say your attachment was purely based on your remnant memories from days gone by; but that just wasn't true. You only knew this being, Vader as him dark self - and that was enough for you to always come when he called.

To compare you attachment to a drug addiction felt cliche and incommodious; after all you didn't need his attention to survive, but you still craved it for your own enjoyment

it kept you up at night sometimes - you conscience weary with the fact that the rest of the body it was trapped in responded so positively to the touch of a murderer. These internal battles were common, besides, there wasn't anyone else you could exactly go to to ask advice from. The knowledge of your nightly escapades to Vader quarters was not exactly friendly gossip you could share with your friends, or even your family. It was a clear unspoken rule that secrets of this magnitude that involved the ex jedi were not something he encouraged to be passed around - not that you really wanted your family knowing. They would disown you, you would disown you. You understood just how vile your actions were     

so why did they feel so fucking good?

You had been with men before, plenty of men. Maker, some of those men had the bodies of gods, so handsome that anyone would look upon them and believe they were too good for this world. But nothing compared, nothing even came close. It was one thing to enjoy someone, romantically or exclusively sexually , but it was another to be on the same level as someone. And you weren't quite sure why or how, but the only person you had ever felt that for was the destroyer of worlds.

You'd caught his eye while he and a small fleet of his stormtroopers were overseeing the work your village was putting into one of the many imperial excursions.

You'd love to say you hadn't been like everyone else and feared him instantly, that your backbone and feisty nature had meant you had always been able to feel no intimidation by his power - but that would be a big fat lie. The first time you saw him you genuinely thought you might poop your pants right there and then; all black cloak and metal. and then when you notice that he had noticed you too, when he asked your name, you personally accepted that maybe this day would be the day you died.

but it wasn't, and so it began

At first the imbalance of power was obvious, you feared him more than you had ever feared anything before. You'd heard the stories, you knew just how fast he could destroy you and how nobody would intervene even if they could if he decided this way your time to go. 

He kept his distance in this time, while somehow also always letting  you know he was around. you hear him, his breathing somewhere just beyond your viewpoint. A flash of black out the corner of your eye while you walked through the streets. Just teases of his existence. Just enough to peak your interest. 

It worked, he never had to come to you. You came to him.

Because above all else, your curiosity outweighed everything else, even you survival instincts.

It was easy to be drawn in, you found. In everyones brain theres a soft spot for bad people who only act kind to you. That only show vulnerability to just you. You wanted to feel special, and he made you feel like the most protected person in the universe. 

It was ironic really, that being that close to death is what made you feel most alive

It wasn't romantic, and you were completely comfortable with that. You had no doubt that you could never bring yourself to love someone who had the capability to do the things this man had done, and Vader, as far as you knew anyway, wasn't programmed with the capacity to love - a relic skill left when Anakin burned into the sand.

Sometimes though, there were flickers of those sorts of affections, like muscle memory. A gloved stroke of your cheek, a sweep across your lips to catch some of himself there, a hand in your hair with more gentle intent than usual. These incidents were at first incredibly fleeting, but the more comfortable you got together, or at least the more time passed since you had first met, he seemed to get more carefree with these displays. 

Equally, although you had fully expected to feel the wrath of his power at that very first meeting; Vader had never used the force against you. Well, never without you asking him to anyway - choking with the force may be Vader favourite way to bring his enemies to their demise, but when you asked him to use it on you in the bedroom, he was relatively sure you had completely lost your mind. Be that as it may, it was hot as fuck. However he never took advantage; the power imbalance was certainly there, but Vader never used it against you without you asking him. 

And thats how you knew just how comfortable you'd gotten; because you did ask. without even really completely letting yourself realise just what i meant, you asked him to show you just how powerful he was. You fucking liked it, liked that he could remove you from the face of the earth with a flick of his gloved wrist. You liked that he was the strongest being most people could imagine, liked that he was so notoriously  bad. 

Simply because he didn't; he kept you around. He even liked having you around, not that he would ever admit that to you, himself or anybody.

He never took his mask off, so it was easy for him to hide behind his outfit. He was changing though, maybe not dramatically, but enough for him to notice and be ashamed of. 

He hadn't loved since Padme, with her it was obvious. She was beautiful, and smart, and everything Anakin Skywalker could have ever wanted. But he was no longer Anakin. There had never been another love, but you were something different entirely. You made him different . you made him weak. He lusted for you, craved you just as much if not more than you him. Anakin had always had a possessive streak, but Vader had a possessive nature. You were nothing to him, and then you were just fun to him, a body he could use, a rare someone who would let him inside of them with true interest in him, someone who could look past the suit and mask and burns. You belonged to him now, whether either of you wanted it or not, there was no one else for you. 

“don't you ever let anyone touch you like this again” - he rarely spoke during sex, but when he did, his moderator was always stating claim to you. There really was no way to convince vader that you wouldn't stray, that you wouldn't suddenly wake up and realise that getting railed once very month on a dark space ship by someone who's face you had never seen wasn't enough for you. That you'd want to be with someone who you could kiss, or someone who didn't have such a dark smear on their title. But it didn't really matter, you knew you wouldn't leave, not when being bad felt so good with him. 

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[irhinoceri]

I enjoy checking out creator and actor interviews a lot and I listened to that Variety podcast interview with Sebastian Stan (then one that the Sambucky quote is taken from) and it reminded me, to a certain extent, of how fans just really need to chill out about expecting actors to validate their headcanons.

Sebastian gave what is pretty much the most generous and encouraging answer he could to the question of whether Sambucky is a romantic relationship, and the podcast host still followed up with “okay but tell me if he’s bisexual or not.” Granted, Marc Malkin of Variety is an entertainment journalist rather than a fan, but after Sebastian answered his question about Sambucky he pressed further, saying that all the fans really want is a direct confirmation that Bucky is bisexual. And Sebastian’s response to that was another more rambling thing that basically still amounted to “what do you want from me I’m just the actor.”

And really, I’ve seen this before and people always complain about actors being coy or queer-baiting when they say that you the audience can feel free to interpret their work however you want... but really, sometimes you just have to take them at their word that they are not the ones who decide every canonical facet of their character. At the end of the day this is just a person with a job he likes that he wants to keep and he’s not the person who gets to make that decision, so even if he looked directly into the camera and said “Bucky is bisexual and has fucked so many dudes” it wouldn’t mean anything. He’s just an actor who reads the scripts (when he’s lucky) and gets to put some kind of spin on the character with his performance, but like this dude didn’t even know what was happening in Endgame until he watched it in the theater like the rest of us.

Anyway just thinking about that because I notice all these posts about either respecting celebrities’ personal lives or not putting them on a pedestal and I want to extend that energy into people having some kind of realistic understanding of how much control an actor has over the character. Some actors probably get to exert more influence than others, especially if they’re one of those big names that gets producer credits on their films, but despite how popular Sebastian is within MCU fandom, I think it’s pretty clear that he doesn’t hold the keys to the Marvel kingdom so hounding him for a direct canon confirmation like that is just... weird. Frankly it reminds me of hounding any employee about things outside their direct control. Love them or hate them, Marvel and the MCU is run by a corporation and all the creatives—the writers, directors, the actors, the set designers, etc.—are hired to carry out a vision set by the studio.

And with that said... I feel like this stuff is so often less about “needing representation” versus people just wanting their particular ship or headcanon validated by the actor. And it’s fun, to be sure, when someone involved in the production appreciates fan involvement by sharing a meme or fanwork and indicating that they approve... but Sebastian already does that anyway. He shares tweets and other fanmade stuff on his Instagram, and is patient with fans at conventions who line up to ask him if he felt betrayed by Steve at the end of Endgame, etc. etc.

So idk. What’s the point of this ramble? It’s fine to enjoy the stuff actors share during press tours, but when they’ve made it pretty clear what the extent of their answer to any given question is going to be, just drop it and move on. Not everything has to be treated like a congressional hearing.

[ohnopoe]

Potential Breakup Song | Jack Daniels

Ship: Jack Daniels x Reader Summary: It’s your birthday, and all you want to do is have a few drinks with your boyfriend, but when he doesn’t show, your coworker, Jack, takes it upon himself to check on you Word Count: 2.2k+ Tagging: @the-purity-pen​  Author’s Note: Ok so this... idk how this happened tbh. BUT I’d kind of love to write more for these two, I have some slight ideas, but idk... so if you’d like to see something more please let me know!

Sitting there alone at the little booth you had claimed over an hour earlier certainly wasn’t how you had expected the evening to go. You had been happy, excited even, when you finally grabbed your coat to leave Statesmen for the day, readying yourself for a proper, fun night out with your boyfriend.

Sure, you’d had to remind him twice already to meet you at the little bar you liked that was not far from work, and sure maybe it would have been fun to invite some friends too, but this was your birthday, and even having a few drinks with your man seemed better than nothing.

But the day had seemed to drag on, as if it knew you were anticipating the well-needed break.

With every knock on the door, a part of you couldn’t help but hope for something, although you couldn’t quite tell what.

Would it have been nice if your coworkers had realised what day it was? Sure. But then, hiding it off facebook had been your decision, and you couldn’t truly blame them for not knowing when you were so careful about keeping things separate between work and home. But with each interruption to your work came a following disappointment. Reports were required, devices needed testing, and not one person seemed to have anything but more work to add to your pile.

Dread was dancing in your periphery, but you refused to give into it.

You had decided this. You had been the one to do that damn stupid idea and hide your information in some desperate plea that someone would remember you even without the irritating little notification Facebook offered. You couldn’t blame others for your own actions, no matter how much it hurt to feel so damned forgotten on your birthday of all things.

But, as you sat alone in the booth at your favourite bar, well, that dread sure was starting to egg away at you.

Another glance at your phone, a silent reminder of just how long you’d been waiting along with the lack of any explanation, only helped solidify your negativity. What if he wasn’t coming? What if he’d forgotten too?

The drink you’d been nursing for the better part of an hour sat before you, the ice had melted into the mix, making it weak and watery as you took a hesitant sip once more. If he wasn’t there by the time you finished, you’d leave. That’s what you’d said to yourself some thirty minutes ago when the drink had arrived. But even you could see you were drawing out the inevitable now, taking slow sips in the hopes of prolonging what little chance there was.

“Either that’s the worst damn drink you’ve ever had, or somethin’s on your mind,” a familiar voice almost cooed from above you, amusement tangling with something you couldn’t quite place as the silhouette of Agent Whiskey blocked out a good portion of the bar.

Offering a half hearted smile, you took a determined gulp of the drink in your hand, stubbornly meeting his gaze as you did so. There was always something about the agent that brought out a fierce competitive side in you, and maybe it was the sheer determination to not appear as pathetic as you felt, but you found yourself offering a smirk as you placed it down on the table without a word, silently challenging him.

“Alright, maybe not,” he offered a chuckle, lips pulling into a smile and drawing out that dimple that caught far too much attention.

“Something I can help you with, Whiskey?” and damn it, that didn’t come off half as harsh as you had hoped. Hell, it didn’t even come off sarcastic. The usual fire in your tone seemed lost, and you could only hope he didn’t hear the way your voice broke ever so slightly with the question.

You weren’t used to this. You’d kept your private life private for a reason, kept yourself away from the work functions and the celebratory drinks in the hopes of distancing yourself from the people you worked with for the most part, and now, having him in front of you out in the real world, when you were already so damn close to breaking… it wasn’t something you were quite prepared for.

“You looked like you could use some company,” he answered simply with a shrug, and if his eyes hadn’t blazed with that intensity you’d seen so often when he was in the field, you might just have believed he was as nonchalant as he attempted to appear.

But his statement brought another thought, more harrowing than the last, and you had to take another sip of your drink to wet your suddenly dry throat as it plagued you.

“How long have you been watching me?”

With a sigh, that playful smirk you’d seen so often slipped from his lips. With a quick point to the opposite side of the booth, he waited until you nodded your consent before slipping in with yet another sigh, but still he didn’t answer your question.

“Don’t see you around here often,” and it almost sounded like a line, were it not for the curious way his gaze took you in as he spoke.

Your shrug was an attempt at something casual, but you knew he was too damn good at reading people to fall for that. “Maybe it wasn’t my idea,” it was. “Maybe someone asked me here,” they didn’t.

But he seemed to read more from your words than you thought you had offered, his attention falling from you to the drink in your hand, before darting around the room and landing on the door.

“Well, he’s a damn fool to leave you waiting,” he huffed, and, while you still felt on edge being around the agent you worked with day in and day out, a small, albeit genuine, smile broke through your demeanour.

It was just a line, just a statement anyone would make upon hearing someone had potentially been stood up. Your mind was screaming at you to remember that it didn’t truly hold the weight you desperately wished it did. But your heart clung to those words.

Were you really this desperate for someone to actually care about you on your birthday that you were clinging to hollow words said out of propriety? Damn, maybe you were. Maybe Ginger had been right all along, you really should go out with her some time, maybe having some real friends at work wouldn’t be all that bad after all.

“Alright, what about this,” Jack broke your harrowing line of thought with that charming smile he had down pat. “I buy you a drink, we relax, have a good time… if he shows, he shows, and I’ll leave y’all to it, if not, well, hopefully I’m not the worst company.”

A laugh, the first you’d managed all day, escaped your lips as you shook your head at the cowboy’s poor attempt at humility.

“Why would you do that?” the question sounded meeker than you would have liked, and you had to glance away when his confused gaze met yours. But the bar was filled with distractions, even if it wasn’t particularly busy, and you quickly clung to them as you regained some sort of a backbone. “You know damn well half the bar is eyeing you off, you don’t need to waste your evening on me, Jack.”

If his breath caught at hearing your slip up, hearing you utter his name for the first time in far too long, well, he was damn good at hiding it behind that playful smirk. But there was still that shine to his gaze as he watched you so intently that you could feel it even as you focused on swirling the small remainders of your drink.

“And leave you to this lot?” he questioned playfully, raising a brow as he gestured around you both comically. “Honey, I know all too well what these types would do to a pretty lil thing like you, all alone.”

“You would know,” you scoffed a laugh, and, damn it, how was it so easy to relax around him? You’d known him for years, sure, but never personally, always keeping that carefully concocted professional appearance in place.

“Darlin’, are you implying something here?” there it was, that playful lilt to his tone that he always seemed to offer at just the right time, almost cracking your hard exterior more times that you’d care to admit.

“You forget, Whiskey,” you pause, giving him a pointed look that didn’t quite have its usual impact as your lips desperately struggled to hide that playful smile that wanted to break free. “I’ve been on the other end of the comms during far too many of your missions. I know all too well what you’re capable of.”

The smirk he gave in response held a twinge of danger, his eyes lighting up as he leant forwards just enough to capture your full attention. This was a side of Jack you had seen through his glasses many times, a side he hadn’t shown you since you shot him down cold at the very beginning of your working together, and it was a side that could thrill even the most cold hearted of individuals, you were sure.

“Oh, darlin’, you have no idea.”

Well, that certainly shouldn’t have affected you as much as it did.

You’d been working with Whiskey for years now, you knew all too well what he was like, how much he liked to flirt and mess around. You’d watched through his glasses camera on numerous occasions as he flirted his way into the beds of targets, each time rolling your eyes to yourself because you’d surely never fall for something so cheesy.

But then, you’d always been safely seeing things from his perspective, hadn’t you? You’d never seen that intense gaze he offered along with those words, never watched as his tongue darted out to wet those plush lips… damn, maybe you weren’t as strong as you had always thought.

“Babe, hey!” a puffed out breath came from beside you, drawing your attention away from the perfect cupid’s bow that was hidden behind that neatly trimmed moustache.

You almost jumped at the sound, turning quickly to see your boyfriend standing there, looking none too happy to see you sitting there with another man, and, despite the fact you’d been waiting for, was that two hours now?, you felt guilt creep in.

“Hey!” you offered the brightest smile you could, even if it felt somewhat off as you glanced between the two men.

They couldn’t have been more different if they tried. One, the epitome of the suave cowboy, the other in what he so affectionally labelled ‘prime casual fashion’, or, as you secretly called it, jumped up t-shirts that had no right to charge as much as they did. Jack was leaning back in the booth, exuding comfort and confidence, while your boyfriend stood there glancing between you and Jack with a tense jaw. In fact, the only similarity between the two seemed to be the intense fire that sat in their gazes as they eyed one another up.

Oh good, yet another display of stupid macho masculinity. With a roll of your eyes, you cleared your throat, quickly gaining the attention of the silently feuding men. “Jack, this is my boyfriend, Tim-”

“Timothy,” Tim interjected, standing up even straighter, as if the use of his full name would hold some form of power.

Closing your eyes to avoid rolling them once more as you watched him look down his nose at Whiskey, you ignored the interruption. “Tim,” you started once more, more than a hint of irritation in your tone at the fact the same man who had left you waiting for so long was now trying to play some kind of stupid game. “This is Jack, we work together.”

It seemed the two didn’t particularly care about introductions, or, for that matter, manners, as they continued to stare at one another in silence for a long moment.

“I’ll leave y’all to it,” Jack spoke suddenly, breaking the tense atmosphere with a nod as he moved far too smoothly out of the booth. How he always seemed to move with such elegance had often caused you to wonder. It didn’t seem to match the macho cowboy exterior he gave off, but worked so seamlessly when he was in a fight. It was a part of him, small and subtle, that had caught your attention more times than it ought.

Only when Tim sidled up next to you, pushing you further into the booth did your mind fall back to reality with a frown. Words were already falling out of his mouth, mentions of his day, of the clients he had dealt with, and not a word of apology for how late he was, and that same resignation you had felt earlier seemed to sweep over you once more.

“Happy birthday, Y/N,” Jack spoke softly, the words somehow a farewell. His smile was gentle as he met your surprised gaze.

And then, just as suddenly as he had appeared, he was gone, leaving the bar’s doors swaying after him as your boyfriend clambered for your attention.